Previous transcript: Next transcript:
Aladdin Aladdin and The King of Thieves
Disney's The Return of Jafar - Poster.jpg
This transcript isn't tidy!
This page's transcript is incomplete for the following reason:
incomplete: unfixed/messed, missing actions and speakers
Remove this template once any and all issues are resolved.

(First two settings: The Seven Deserts and Abis Mal and the Thieves' Lair)

(Arabian Nights)
Peddler (Narrator): ♪Follow me to a place where incredible feats♪ ♪Are routine every hour or so ♪Where enchantment runs rampant Yes, wild in the streets Open sesame, here we go! Arabian nights Like Arabian days They tease and excite Take off and take flight They shock and amaze Arabian nights Like Arabian days More often than not are hotter than hot In a lot of good ways Pack your shield, pack your sword You won't ever get bored Though get beaten or gored you might Come on down, stop on by Hop a carpet and fly To another Arabian night Arabian night♪

Thief #1: This night has been quite rewarding.
Thief #2: (laughing) We have never stolen so much. We have gathered much loot tonight. No thanks to our leader.
Abis Mal: Well, it only looked expensive. Is this a haul or what, my surly band of desert skunks?
Thief #1: How is it you get the jeweled flower, Abis Mal?
Abis Mal: Why, this is my bonus for being your beloved leader. This and that and that are my beloved leader bonus.
Thief #1: And what is our reward?
All Thieves: Hmm?
Abis Mal: Here you go. Good work, boys. Very successful raid.
All Thieves: Hmm? (grunting)
Thief #1: The chest! It moves!
Thief #2: It cannot be!
Thief #1: What is holding it up?
Abis Mal: (screaming) Ah! Ghosts!
Abu: Hello.
Abis Mal: You stupid monkey!
Aladdin: Put him down, Abis Mal!
Abis Mal: Who are you?
Aladdin: My friends call me Al. You can call me Aladdin.
Abis Mal: HURT HIM! What? Where did he go? There! He has our loot! Don't let him get away! He must not escape! Stop him!
Thief #3: Why, you...
Aladdin: Hey! He's getting away! There he is! We've got him now!
Abis Mal: A flying carpet? He's got a flying carpet!
Aladdin: Nice catch, Carpet. Hey!

Abu: Pbblltt!
Aladdin: Pardon me! Yeah!
Come back here!
That's mine! Whoa!

Aladdin: Next stop, Agrabah.

Theives: Shut the door! He's escaping!

[They make it out of the temple just as the doors slam shut. Out in the middle of the desert, a small argument was taking place.]

Iago: Finally! This is terrific! I got sand in places I didn't even know I had.

[Iago has managed to dig himself and Jafar's lamp out of the Cave of Wonders. He was waist deep in Jafar's black lamp.]

Jafar: Spare me your prattling, Iago! Are we out yet?

Iago: "Are we out yet? Are we out yet?" Yes, we're out! No thanks to you. If it weren't for me... you'd be stuck down there forever!

Jafar: Iago! You will now release me... so that I may have my revenge.

Iago: Yeah, yeah, when I'm good and ready.

Jafar: Do as I say, you worthless pipsqueak!

Iago: You know something? You're nothing without me.

Jafar: What?!

Iago: Who comes up with all the good ideas? Me! Who does all the work? Me!

Jafar: If it weren't for me, you'd still be in a cage at the bazaar, squawking, "Polly want a cracker!"

[Iago has it up to there with Jafar's constant bickering.]

(I'm Looking Out for Me)

Iago: That's it! I've had it! I hate to be dramatic, but it's time for me to fly the coop. Terrific! Fine! I'm drawing the line before I wind up in a parrot soup! I was a fool to let you run the show. I'm cuttin' ya loose, pal! Look out below! Arrividerci! C'est la vie! Hope all goes well! I'm looking out for me!

[Iago drops the lamp down a well and flies off to Agrabah.]

Iago: (speaking) Agrabah. Just a juicy golden goose ready for plucking and I'm the one holding the tweezers!
I'll be running this town inside a week! (Iago pointing a finger in a camel’s nose)
What's your problem, liver lips? You don't think I can do it?!
Iago: OK, I'm little
Been playing second fiddle
And I don't get no respect (The camel spitting at Iago’s tail)
I turn the other cheek
But this busted beak
Is the only thanks that I get
I never found a friend that I can trust
They promise caviar and leave me eating dust
That's some reward for loyalty
From here on in
I'm looking' out for me
Ohh, I don't need nobody else
I'll never fail
I'll cover my own tail
I can take care of myself
You know, it just don't pay to give a hoot
I've given all my heart
What do I get? The boot
I'm through with that
I'm flapping' free
From here on in
I'm looking' out for me
Omar: Steal from us again and your scrawny body will be dinner for the jackals!
Iago: Sure. No problem.
Abu: Huh? No! No!
Aladdin: Abu!
Abu: What?!
Aladdin: We're not the ones who needed this money.
Poor Mother: A miracle.
Agrabah Citizen #1: Rain on me!
Agrabah Citizen #2: Gold from the heavens!
Aladdin: Don't worry, Abu. I'm not throwing everything.
Abu: Yes!
Aladdin: This is for Jasmine.
Abu: No!
Aladdin: Whoa!
Abu: Uh-oh.
Aladdin: Easy, Rajah. You know me. Aladdin? OK, Rajah, OK. I'm glad to see you, too. How do I look?
Jasmine: I think you look fine.
Aladdin: Jasmine!
Jasmine: Where were you? I missed you.
Aladdin: I had to pick up a few things. This is for you.
Jasmine: Oh, Aladdin! It's lovely! It must’ve cost a fortune.
Aladdin: Oh, no, it was a steal.
Jasmine: Father wants you to join us for dinner tonight. He's going to make a royal announcement.
Aladdin: And he wants me there?
Jasmine: It's about you.
Aladdin: Am I in trouble?
Jasmine: Let's just say this is a dinner you don't want to miss.
Aladdin: Jasmine, what's going on?
Jasmine: I promised Father I wouldn't spoil his surprise. You've made quite an impression, you know.
Aladdin: So I'm not in trouble?
Jasmine: Of course not. You defeated Jafar, saved Agrabah and rescued a princess. Aladdin, you are a hero.
Aladdin: Yeah, I guess so. That's me. Ready for anything! Abu!
Jasmine: You may want to change before dinner, though.

Iago: Seems like only yesterday. Jafar was running Agrabah.
And I was his right-hand bird.
But then he had to go and mess things up!
Now I'm stuck on the outside looking in.
I gotta get back into the palace!
Back into power!
Aladdin: Well, my dear Abu, shall we see what the common folk are doing today?
Abu: Let's go!
Aladdin: (laughing) We have time for a stroll before our audience with the Sultan.

Iago: The street rat is living in the palace now? That does it! All reports are in! Life is now officially unfair! Wait! Wait a second here! This is perfect! That kid is my ticket back into power. (smears dirt all over himself) I'll just get Aladdin on my side with a little sympathy act. And I'll be back in the palace again quicker than you can say "Easy Street." (Aladdin turns corner to find Iago panting for breath) Aladdin...finally...got free...of...Jafar.

Aladdin: Iago, what are you doing here?

Iago: Where are you? Getting dark. Hold me... (Aladdin tries grabbing him) Hey, I meant gentle-like!

Aladdin: You're not fooling anyone!
Iago: No, wait, I'm serious! I was under Jafar's power!
He mesmerized me with his snake staff! Just like the sultan.
Aladdin: You traitor, you!
Abis Mal: You… look familiar.
All Thieves: It's Aladdin.
Abis Mal: Where?! It is? I knew that! Hurt him a lot! Hurt him and his monkey and his bird, too!
Uh-oh.
Thief #1: Treacherous parrot!
Iago: Look, I'm not with him!
Monkey, help! They're after me!
Thief #3: You won't dance out of this one!
Iago: That's it! Now I'm mad!
Mess with this bird, huh?
Thieves: Huh?
Iago: And I got more where that came from!
Egg Merchant: My eggs... ruined! Who will pay for them?
Abis Mal: Oh, go away.
Egg Merchant: Guards! Guards!
Razoul: What is the trouble here?
Fazahl: It is that thief, Abis Mal!
Abis Mal: Whoa!
Razoul: After them!
Iago: Jerks.
Aladdin: Thanks for your help. You saved me.
Iago: I did? Right! Oh, yeah! Of course I saved you! It's my nature.
I'm always rescuing things. Cats, babies, guys like you, always rescuing.
Hey, what's going on?!
Is this any way to treat your rescuer?!
You owe me, pal! I saved your life!
Aladdin: Abu, wait!
He's right. I do owe him.
Abu: Huh?
Aladdin: I'll see that the sultan gives him a fair hearing.
Iago: What?! The Sultan?!
Aladdin: Don't worry, I'll talk to him. Soften him up a little.
Iago: Are you kidding? He hates me!
And what about the princess?!
Aladdin: Hmm? No problem. I just have to make sure that Jasmine doesn't see you...
until I've gotten her prepared.
Jasmine: Gotten me prepared for what?
Aladdin: Ah! I mean... uhh, um, for the... for the... for the stain... Abu got on the brand new vest you gave him.
Abu: I did not!
Jasmine: I don't see a stain.
Aladdin: Uh, well, no problem, then. Off to dinner.
Can't wait for that surprise.
Jasmine: Is something wrong?
Aladdin: Huh? Wrong? Oh, come on!
No, no, no, everything's just fine.
Jasmine: You aren't... hiding anything from me, are you?
Any more... secrets?
Aladdin: Ssss... Secrets? Of course not! I almost lost you once that way. I’ll never make that mistake again.
Aladdin & Jasmine (Both): What? (A whirlpool of water appears down on the pool and makes a very artistic and big splash along with both hugging scared. Suddenly, Genie with his Hawaiian shirt, hat, surfboard, bags of souvenirs, and a luau necklace reappears and comes back from his vacation plus he jumps off from the wave with Aladdin and Jasmine smiling.)
Genie: He's big, he's blue and he's back! (breaks the fourth wall with his face getting closer to the audience)

Aladdin: Genie!

Jasmine: You came back!

Genie: OOH! AHHH! WATCH THE SUNBURN! Aha! Kidding!

Did you miss me? Be honest.
Take care of these, my good mammal.
Abu: Whoa!
Careful, they're heavy!
Hang on, I got souvenirs for everybody!
Whoo! She dances!
Aladdin: You saw the whole world already?
Genie (as It's a Small World figures): It's a small world after all
Genie: But Agrabah has something that no other place in the world has.
(Turning into a red firework rocket (since the first film) and Aladdin & Jasmine getting on him and blasting off from Agrabah to the world)
Genie (as a rocket): You guys!

(Nothing in the World (Quite Like a Friend))
Genie: I parachuted down into the Taj Mahal
I Rollerbladed all along the Great Wall
I even made the famous leaning tower fall
But who was with me through it all?
Nobody
The Moscow Circus hired me to fly trapeze
On Mount Olympus, won a race with Hercules
It's easy when you're chased by killer bees
"Who said "Gesundheit" when I sneezed?"
So now I'm home
Home again with you
You chase the clouds away
Whenever I am blue
Aladdin (speaking): You're always blue.
Land of the pyramids
I highly recommend
There is nothing in the world
Quite like a friend
Slept like a babe in Bombay on a bed of nails
Moroccans loved my daring Dance of Seven Veils
Why, single-handedly, I even saved the whales
No one was there to hear my tales
In Acapulco, joined a mariachi band
I rode the raging rapids down the Rio Grande
Flew in an air balloon, but when I tried to land
Nobody laughed or lent a hand
Without you, the Amazon is just a trickle
Without you, the Sahara's not so hot
Without you, Niagara Falls is just a leaky faucet
The QE2 is just some yacht
Now that I'm home
Home again, it's clear
All I ever wanted
Seems to be right here
I've traveled east and west
And now I'm back again
And there's nothing in the world quite like a friend
Aladdin: There's nothing in the world
Jasmine: Nothing in the whole wide world
Aladdin, Jasmine & Genie (All): There is nothing in the world quite like a friend
Genie: Nothing in the whole wide world
Aladdin: So, Genie, how does it feel to be free?
Genie: Seriously? I love it! (breaking his back)
OK, maybe my powers aren't what they used to be.
Let's say they're semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic, (shrinking short) but don't sell me short.
I may be free, but I still have some magic in me.
I can still do this!
Hey!
Hate to lose face in front of you guys.
Give me another chance. Who's first? I can do this!
Aladdin: Genie, we have to go to...
Jasmine: Dinner! We're late!
Genie: You probably have a romantic dinner for two planned.
You don't need a big blue lug gumming up the works.
Aladdin: But, Genie...
Genie: Three's a crowd. You kids go on.
Jasmine: Genie, I would be honored if you'd join us for dinner.
Genie: You would?
Come on, everyone! Get in here!
Home cooking? Let's go!
Abu: Oh, boy!
Aladdin: Not you, Abu. You have a job to do, remember?
Abu: Huh?
Aladdin: You have to guard Iago!
Abu: Oh! (walking away)
Genie: Giddy-up, slow-poke. What's keeping ya?
Aladdin: Nothing! Well, something, but I'll tell you later.
Abis Mal: (to himself) That stinkin' Aladdin! First chance I get, I'll slice him in half!

Thief 1: (aside to other thieves) That stinkin' Abis Mal! First chance we get, let's slice him in half!

Abis Mal: Hey, get over here and wash up! It's bad enough having to look at you without having to smell you!

Thief 2: Come. We do it now. No witnesses. (brandishes his sword)

Abis Mal: (dumps a pail of water on top of himself, and Jafar's lamp falls out of the pail and hits him on the head) Ow! What's this? So help me, I'll sue whoever runs this well! A lamp? (picks it up) Well... (chuckles) It might be worth a few shekels once it's cleaned up. (rubs it)

Thief 3: It will be of little use to you, Abis Mal... except to light your way... to the valley of the dead.

[The thieves pull out their swords ready strike Abis Mal; when suddenly, red smoke erupts from the lamp.]

Thief 1: It is bewitched!

[All the thieves except Abis Mal get on their horses and ride away in panic, while Abis Mal stares on with the most priceless expression ever as Jafar's evil cackle is heard as he comes out.]

Jafar: I am FREE! Free to exact vengeance upon he who has imprisoned me!

[Jafar attempts to leave but can't as his shackles prevent him from leaving the proximity of his lamp.]

Jafar: It is the curse of the lamp! All the power in the universe, and I am bound by the rules of the GENIE! Which means... I can't kill that upstart Aladdin! Unless, I have someone "arrange" it for me. Take me to Agrabah at once!! [Jafar towers over Abis Mal, who was close to soiling his pants in fright, due to the ifrit's immense size and deep bellowing voice] I suppose I am a bit too much for his limited mind.

[Jafar dissolves into vapor and reforms into a more manageable form. It is his old Grand Vizier outfit.]

Jafar: I trust you'll find me a little less overwhelming now?

Abis Mal: You're…a genie?

Jafar: You are astonishingly perceptive.

Abis Mal: If you're a genie, then, eh, don't I get wishes?

Jafar: Yes, three wishes. That is a minor formality. But, first, I must go to Agrabah. You will take the lamp there for me.

Abis Mal: Then…you need me…I'll take you to Agrabah…but, first, I want my wishes.

[Jafar is angry, releasing red laser-like powers to zap Abis Mal so close and he’s about to strike a punch.]

Jafar: Why, you…! [suddenly calms down] You shall have your wishes.

Abis Mal: I shall? I mean…of course I shall! Oh, I want…I want riches, treasure! Let's see, I know…I wish for the legendary sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer!

Jafar: Your wish is my command.

[Jafar teleports both of them in the middle of the sea, where Abis Mal is drowning. A shark comes at Abis Mal, but Jafar stops it with his snake staff.]

Jafar: Poor sweet baby. Aren't we enjoying our wish? [a squid wraps a tentacle around the thief] Perhaps you wish me to return you to the desert? [Abis Mal is turning blue from a lack of oxygen and nods "yes"] Very well. [teleports both him and Abis Mal back to the desert; Abis Mal spits out water] That was two wishes. Take your time with the third, or you'll wish you'd never been born. [Abis Mal stares at Jafar in utter fear] On the other hand, If you cooperate with me, I will see that you're amply rewarded.

Abis Mal: Rewarded?

Jafar: First, you will help me get revenge on a certain street rat by the name of...Aladdin.

Abis Mal: [gasps in shock] Aladdin?! I want revenge on him too! He robbed me, turned my men against me, and he fought dirty! My brilliant swordsmanship availed me not! [accidentally slices his belt, making his pants fall] Oh...I hate when I do that.

Jafar: Let's not be too hasty, my simple-minded friend. It's not enough that we simply destroy Aladdin. After all, there are things so much worse than death!

[Jafar laughs evilly, while Abis Mal smirks.]

(Setting: The Sultan’s Palace Dining Room)
Genie (as a chef): OK, prepare yourselves for a real culinary treat. (Genie chopping carrots as fast with karate sounds)
Sultan: (laughing with joy) Oh-ho-ho-ho, my!
Genie: (his hand cut off) Whoopsie.
Sultan: Most amusing!
Genie: Amusing, right. Excuse me while I pull myself together.
Sultan: (laughing) Absolutely delightful! Now, to business. Aladdin, you have proven to be a man of strong moral character. That is why I've decided to make you my new royal vizier. Aladdin: Me? Really?
Jasmine: Isn't it wonderful?
Genie: Wow! Royal vizier!
Aladdin would like to thank the Academy for this great honor!
You want 'em? We got 'em! Royal vizier t-shirts!
All hail Aladdin, the royal vizier! (turns back into normal) So, uh, what's a royal vizier? Sultan: Well... he will be my most trusted advisor.
Genie: Well, that makes sense (spitting). He's bound to be better than that Jafar character. (Genie’s head turning into Jafar’s)
Sultan: Quite so!
Genie: And Iago. Talk about a rat with wings!
Aladdin: Genie?
Genie: Ooh! That bird was mean! (his face disguised as Iago with a cracker)
Sultan want a cracker? (double) Remember that?
Sultan: I can still taste them! The traitor!
Genie: Yes, sir! You don't see this guy hanging out with any evil parrots!
Aladdin: It's funny you should mention Iago.

(Setting: The Sultan's Palace Gardens at night with Iago on his cage and Abu still guarding him.)

Iago: Oh, Monkey! Come on! Monkey, little birdie want to talk to monkey! Have nice banana! Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Birdie get monkey a pretty banana, if monkey open cage? Yum-Yum?

Abu: Blah, blah, blah!

Iago: C'MON! I got a wife and three eggs! Imagine them hatching, never knowing their daddy! C'MON! OPEN THE CAGE! Open it! Open it! OPEN IT! [Abu sees Rajah the tiger nearby and smirks, then opens the cage] Yeah, that's more like it—DAH! [sees Rajah snarling menacingly at him] CLOSE THE CAGE! Close it! Close it! CLOSE IT! (Rajah pounces on the cage, destroying it. Iago climbs out of the dented cage, only to become face to face with the tiger) AAAAH!!! (Rajah chases him into the palace)

Abu: Uh-oh!

Iago: (as Rajah chases him) YOUR MONKEY'S TRYING TO KILL ME! I SAVED YOUR LIFE!!! IT'S PAYBACK TIME, ALADDIN! (Abu tries to pull Rajah's tail to stop him, to no avail. Iago reaches a dead end) Whoa! (Rajah lunges) ALADDIN!!!

(Rajah bursts open the doors and crashes into the dining room, accidentally ruining the palace dinner)

Jasmine: Rajah! You know better than to tear around the palace like that!

Iago: (in Rajah's mouth) Help! (Aladdin closes Rajah's mouth) HEY!

Sultan: So, Aladdin, why did you bring in that deceitful parrot?

Aladdin: Sultan, I have to tell you something about Iago. (Iago tickles Rajah's nose, the tiger sneezes him out on to the table) He's... here?

Sultan: (gasping) Iago! Guards!
Aladdin: No, wait! You don't understand!
Sultan: Get that bird!
Razoul: Yes, your Highness. It would be my pleasure.
Aladdin: No, Sultan! No!
Razoul: Move out of my way, boy!
Aladdin: You don't understand! Just listen! I have a...
Razoul: Your Highness!
Sultan: I trust he has a fitting explanation for this… this scandal?
Jasmine: He had better.
Aladdin: Your Highness, I… I think Iago was... uh…
Iago: Mesmerized.
Aladdin: Yeah, yeah! He was under Jafar's spell. Remember the snake staff?
Iago was only... uh… um… Look, I just... Iago's not all that bad.
Uh, at least, I don't think so anyway.
Iago: Shoulda stuck with the snake staff defense.
Sultan: Not all bad? He only served my greatest enemy, that's all!

Razoul: We can't allow that traitorous bird to run free!

Aladdin: Then I'll watch him! Uh, your Highness, I meant, uh, with your permission, I'd like to take full responsibility for Iago.

Iago: You would?!

Sultan: Your priorities seem questionable to me, but so be it. Aladdin, you will watch Iago every moment.

Razoul: And if the bird makes one wrong move, you shall be the one I pluck, boy.

Genie: Eh, that could've gone worse.

Aladdin: Ugh, Jasmine, I thought I was sunk.

Iago: Oh, not good!

Jasmine: You were hiding Iago all along, weren't you?!

Genie: I think it just got worse.

Aladdin: Well, yes, but...

Jasmine: How could you?! More secrets? More lies? Aladdin, I thought you had changed!

Aladdin: Jasmine, wait! Eh, back in the marketplace... Iago... he... [Jasmine slams the palace doors and he sighs] he saved my life. [picks up his turban and sighs] Some grand vizier I'm gonna make. Everybody's mad at me.

Genie: Hey, Jasmine's just a little (turning into a Mrs. Potts-like teapot) steamed. She'll cool down. Care for a cup? (asking Aladdin for a cup of tea to cheer him up but not) Ugh, this isn't cheering you up, is it? (Trying to give it to Abu and he doesn’t like tea.)
Aladdin: I don't get it, Genie. I try to do something good and it… it blows up in my face. (walking away into the fountain)
Genie: (and Abu sighs) That's the problem with doing the right thing.
Sometimes you do it by yourself.
Iago: That kid saved my life. Nobody's ever looked out for me before. Now, it's like I owe him. Nah!
Genie: Just let your conscience be your guide. (turning into Jiminy Cricket from Pinocchio)
Iago: Conscience? Never had one. Never. (flying away)
Genie: (laughing crazily with turning into a Genie-in-the-Box to annoy Iago and falling off)
Iago: Hoo! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?
Genie: (turning into a vet) A-ha! You do have a heart! (showing Iago’s X-ray)
An itty-bitty one, but it is there. (teleporting Iago with sparkling magic)
Iago: Can you quit with the hocus pocus already?
Genie: Look at him. Would it kill you to do something nice for him?
Iago: Possibly. (letting go of Genie’s fists) I don't do "nice."
Genie: Oh, come on! It’ll be fun! (his Jack in a Box-like face with two yellow flags, red eyes with spirals, red and black beard, and spinning hair plus checkered teeth)
Iago: I don't do fun, either!
Genie: (in multiple forms) We have to get Al and the princess (in one form) back together!
Iago: Look, I definitely don't do mushy stuff! It's not me!
Genie: I know, but it's going to be tricky.
Iago: Tricky is good. Tricky I can do.

(Settings: Jasmine’s Room & Balcony: When Jasmine was laying down on her bed crying after being upset with Aladdin, Iago comes near her balcony door grille.)
Iago: Come on, Princess! (Jasmine showing Iago when stopped crying) Don't waste your tears on him.
Jasmine: You! Get out of here! (shutting her curtains on Iago)
Iago: Hey, don't take it out on me! He's the creep. I never should have saved his life.
Jasmine: Saved his life? (opening her curtains)
Iago: Yeah. He owed me one. That's why he stood up for me.
Jasmine: But he didn't have to lie to me.
Iago: You are so right.

(Forget About Love)
Iago: Forget about that guy
Forget about the way you fell into his eyes
Forget about his charms
Forget about the way he held you in his arms
Walking on air's obnoxious
The thrills, the chills
Will make you nauseous
And you'll never get enough
Just forget about love
(talking) She's buying it! Now make with the magic!
Iago: Forget about romance
Forget about the way your heart begins to dance
Aladdin: Jasmine.
Iago: Then you feel the blush
When he's spouting out some sentimental mush
Love really is revolting
It's even worse than when you're molting
Enough of this fluff
Just forget about love
Jasmine: I had almost forgotten the way it felt
When he held out his hand for mine
My heart all a-flutter
Iago: Oh, how I shudder
Jasmine: The first time we kissed
Iago: It won't be missed
Forget about his touch
Jasmine: I can't forget about his touch
Iago: In the scheme of things it doesn't matter much
Jasmine: It matters so much
Iago: You're better on your own
A meal becomes a banquet when you eat alone
Both: Love's filled with compromises
Iago: And don't you hate those big surprises
Jasmine: A cozy rendezvous
Iago: Oh, please
Jasmine: Candlelight for two
Iago: Oh, jeez
Jasmine: Look, you're calling my bluff
I can't forget about love
Iago: Just forget about love
Aladdin: (speaking) Uh, Jasmine, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept Iago a secret. Please...
Jasmine: (speaking) Aladdin, you don't have to...
Jasmine: I can't forget about my heart
Aladdin: I can't forget about my heart
Jasmine: And how it felt to fall for you right from the start
Aladdin: I'm still falling
Jasmine: Whatever we may do
Aladdin: Whatever we may do
Jasmine: You are here for me and I'll be there for you
Aladdin & Jasmine (Both): I'll be there
To wish, to want, to wander
To find the sun through rain and thunder
Aladdin: A cozy rendezvous
Jasmine: Yes, please
Aladdin: Candlelight for two
Iago: Oh, jeez!
Enough is enough!
Aladdin & Jasmine (Both): We can't forget about love!

(Animation switches from former Walt Disney Television Australia to former Walt Disney Television Japan.)

Abis Mal: We did it! We're in!
Jafar: It's about time. It was getting hot.
How very like Iago. He's lost no time endearing himself to those in power. Which fits in perfectly with my plan.
Aladdin: I'm sorry, Jasmine.
Genie: Ahh, love. Don't mind us.
Aladdin: Yeah, well, this is kind of a special moment.

Genie: Right. Got it. Say no more. Enough said. Roger. Over and out.

[Genie catches Aladdin and Jasmine on tape.]

Genie: Rolling! Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. [to Jasmine] Looking great, Jas. [to Aladdin] More emotion, Al. Tilt your chin a bit.

[Iago furiously flies up to the camera.]

Iago: What does he have to do to make it clear to you lunkheads?! [pushes Genie out of the way] The show's over! They want to be alone! Break it up!

Jasmine: Are you sure about him?
Iago: Move it, primate! Shoo! Go on! (Abu is trying to hit Iago and he is trying to bite Abu on the back like a lion to chase him away)
That takes care of the peanut gallery. If you need me, I'll be lazing about in the lap of luxury.
Aladdin: I'm sure about this.
Iago: Ohh, yeah! Being one of the good guys has its advantages.
Ah, advisor to Aladdin, the new grand vizier. And when Aladdin becomes Sultan, that will make me the grand vizier. Only I'm not gonna blow it like that idiot Jafar. (eating all the grapes) I'll never have to stand in his shadow again. (spitting out the grapes and looking at him scared in the light with a black of darkness)
Jafar! Buddy? (Jafar is unleashing two fireballs in his eyes to light the candles for him)
Iago: (laughs) A funny thing happened. You see, this guy took the lamp.
You probably thought it was me, cause it sounded a lot like me...
but a lot of people sound like me. Anyway, he took the lamp and... (screams)
Jafar: (turning into a talking column) Calm yourself, Iago.
I haven't come for revenge against you.
Iago: (laughs) So that's good to hear.
Abis Mal: I got it! I could wish for the famed treasure chest of King Malakhan! (Jafar turning into Abis Mal into a golden treasure chest, putting Iago down on the green sofa and mumbling in fear and panic plus turning it back into human form)
Jafar: Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. I thought that was your wish. Are you quite all right?
Abis Mal: No, I am not quite...
Jafar: Wonderful. Good to see all is well. Abis Mal here is my new friend and I couldn't help noticing that you've made some new friends, too. Like, Aladdin. (Poking Iago’s beak and turning into Cheshire Cat-like smoke with red eyes and vanishes)
Iago: Friend? Uh, friend is such a strong word. He's, eh, he’s more like an acquaintance.
Jafar: (appearing again into human form from flames in candles with evil shadows) I'm arranging a little surprise for Aladdin and your job is to lead him to the party.
Iago: You know, (pants) I don't think I'm the guy for this job.
You know, you should talk to… uh… uh… the monkey! Yeah! The monkey's really got Aladdin's ear!
Jafar: No, Iago... you! (pointing a finger on his beak)
Iago: (walking back and forth) You know, Aladdin, ahem, Al, here's an idea. I was just thinking...
Genie: Focus... focus. (6 times) (Iago flying off to the game room at the palace playing pool with Carpet and Abu)
Aiming... and... shoot! (Genie focusing the billiard table and shooting the white ball into Iago’s mouth accidentally and Carpet catching him)
Genie: Oh, ho. Sorry, little feathered friend. I'll get that out.
It's stuck good. Cue Ball Ectomy! Nurse! (turning into a doctor and Abu into Nurse Heimlich plus he’s throwing a nurse hat on a table and giving it back to him)
Genie: Abu! (Abu trying to take out his eyelashes) Iago here's our friend now. We can trust him. Now, let's get that ball out of his beak. What do you say?
Abu: Oh, uh, oh, OK. (Iago screaming and Abu putting out the ball which he stuck into his beak and bouncing back on a table)
Genie: Brilliant, Nurse Heimlich!
Iago: (coughing) Thanks... (cough) Bobo.
Genie: It's Abu.
Iago: Whatever.
Genie: That's the spirit! We're all one big family now! (Genie hugging Abu and Iago)
Iago: Yeah, sure. Family.
Abu: Oh, brother.
Iago: Yeah, well, I gotta find Al.
Genie: Your shot. (playing pool with Carpet) Pool's a man's game, so being a rug, you'll be at a disadvan... Ah, pool's a dumb game anyway.
Aladdin: I can't explain it, Jasmine. I think we can trust Iago.
Jasmine: Well... then I guess I can give him a chance.
Aladdin: Iago? (Iago sneaking off and stops)
Iago: Eh... I… I was just thinking... um. Maybe it's time you patched things up with the Sultan. He might enjoy... a nice scenic carpet ride?
Jasmine: That's a good idea.
Aladdin: And I'll bring Genie. He was a big hit with the Sultan.
Iago: No, no, no! I mean, uh… Genie's... he's too flashy! He's too loud! You'll never get a word in.
Jasmine: Good point, Iago. You need some quiet time with Father. Let him get to know you.
Iago: Yeah! And I... I can take you to the perfect spot.
Aladdin: Great!
Jasmine: Come on, let's get Father. Just a minute.
Iago? This isn't easy for me to say, but I was wrong about you. (kissing Iago’s top head)
Iago: (grunts worryingly) Wait a second!
Aladdin: Yes, Iago? (Jafar’s evil eyes are looking and watching Iago)
Iago: Uh… I'll be alone in a minute.
Jafar: (putting his hands on Iago) Excellent.

(Setting: The Sultan's Palace Gardens)
Jasmine: Give them a chance, Father.
Sultan: Oh, I'll try, dearest.
Aladdin: After you, Your Highness.
All right, Carpet, let's go!
Sultan: Whoopee!
Jasmine: Have a good time!

Genie: (runs up to Jasmine with Abu to catch up to Aladdin and the Sultan) Hey, hey! Clear the way! Make room for the picnic boys!

Jasmine: They already left, Genie.

Genie: (gasps) Without us?!

Abu: Without us?

Genie: No problem. I'll catch up in a flash!

Jasmine: Wait! Without me, too. Aladdin needs some time alone with Father to patch things up.

Genie: (to Abu) You know what this means, monkey boy? More food for us!

(Genie and Abu are chowing up food)
Abu: Oh, boy!
Genie: (stops eating) I'm sorry. Did you want some?
Jasmine: I'm... not hungry just now. You two go ahead. (Genie and Abu are chowing up food again)

(Setting: The Seven Deserts: Sultan and Aladdin are flying Carpet to the Oasis along with Iago)
Sultan: Come on, my boy! Show me what this thing can really do!
Iago: That's the spot! On top of the waterfall! I'm losing my feathers here!
Sultan: You're lucky you haven't lost more than that!
Oh, what fun!
Aladdin: Iago, I have to hand it to you.
This is a nice place.
Genie: It doesn't get any better than this, eh, Shaggy?
How about a nice drumstick?
This could use some secret herbs and spices.
Spiders!
Things could get ugly!
Jafar!
Abu: Uh-oh!
Jafar: Sorry to spoil your picnic, boys, but I can't have any genies mucking about ruining my plans.
Genie: Don't worry, Abu.
He's a genie, and genies can't kill anyone.
But you'd be surprised what you can live through.

Jafar: You always were good for a laugh.

Genie: Oh, yeah?!

[Genie morphs into Rambo and fires machine guns, arrows, and even 怒 symbols at Jafar, praying that it would do some damage, or at the very least turn him into a frog. When the smoke clears, where Jafar stood is a crater. Genie begins laughing heroically.]

Genie: Who's laughing now?

Jafar: Why, I believe it's me.

(You're Only Second Rate)
Jafar: I must admit
Your parlor tricks are amusing
I bet you've got a bunny under your hat
Now, here's your chance to get the best of me
Hope your hand is hot
Come on, clown, let's see what you've got
You can try to slam me with your hardest stuff
But your double whammy isn't up to snuff
I'll set the record straight
You're simply out of date, you're only second rate
You think your cat's a meanie
But your tiger's tame
You've got a lot to learn about the genie game
So for your education, I'll reiterate
You're only second rate
Men cower at the power in my pinky
My thumb is number one on every list
But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible
Put me to the test
I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest
Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise
Slap me in a trap, cut me down to size
I'll make a great escape, it's just a piece of cake
You're only second rate
You know, your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough
And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up
Let me pontificate upon your sorry state
You're only second rate
Zaba-caba-dabra
Granny's gonna grab ya
Alakazam-na-bus
This thing's bigger than the both of us
So spare me your tremendous scare
You look horrendous in your underwear
And I can hardly wait to discombobulate
I'll send ya back and packing in a shipping crate
You'll make a better living with a spinning plate
You're only second rate

(Setting: Jafar's Lab)
Abu: Hello? Hello?
Jafar: That was invigorating!
Come, Abis Mal, we have other lives to ruin.

(Setting: The Ruined City of the Oasis)
Aladdin: Sultan. Look, I'm sorry for not telling you about Iago.
I guess I saw some good in him just like you saw some good in a street rat.
Sultan: The good I saw in a... Well, oh, yes, l... I suppose.
Well said, my boy!
Oh, you'll be a fine vizier!
Aladdin: This was a great idea, Iago. Thanks.
Iago: Oh, don't thank me. Really.
Aladdin: Sultan!
Abis Mal?!
Sultan: Aladdin!
Aladdin: (coughing and grabbing Iago’s tail with he tries to fly away) You traitor!
Iago: Traitor is such a strong word.
Sultan: Aladdin! Help!
Aladdin: I'll settle with you later.
Come on, Carpet!
Look, they're trapped on the cliff!
When they stop, we'll... What?
Abis Mal knows magic?
Sultan: Whoa!
Abis Mal: What? Get him! Get the sultan!
Aladdin: Hang on, Sultan! This is where we lose them.
Sultan! We have to go back, Carpet!
Abis Mal: Yes! Huh? What are you doing?! (The horse man using Jafar’s power not to kill Aladdin, but by saving him in the water)
Abis Mal: Are you nuts?! You saved him! He was this close to being a greasy little smear on the rocks! (Multiple horses and men turning into Jafar’s normal self and grabbing Abis Mal’s shirt) Jafar: Look, you little… I mean, my dear Abis Mal. (putting Abis Mal down to the ground) If you remember the plan, it is not yet time for the boy to meet his end.
Abis Mal: Um… I knew that.
Jafar: Soon, our revenge will be complete and you shall have your third wish.
Abis Mal: Ooh boy, oh, my little wishy! (laughing and giggling)
Jafar: And you, Iago! (scaring him) You have done well.
Iago: Please, don't mention it.
(Setting: The River in the evening when Aladdin leads to the shore laying and coughing)
Aladdin: Sultan! (panting) Iago. (Walking barefoot from the Seven Deserts to Agrabah)

(Setting: Jafar’s Lab)
Sultan: Jafar, you fiend! (chained into the wall) I should have known that this was your treachery!
Jafar: But I couldn't have done it without Iago.
Iago: Eh, I, I played a minor role, really.
Abis Mal: Jafar! This rug won't cooperate! (He grabs Carpet when he trips him and Carpet tries to fly free, but Jafar used his power to lock Carpet in chains put a lock along with Genie in a ball and Abu chained into the wall)
Sultan: (grunting angrily) Oh, when Aladdin returns...
Jafar: I think we have ample time to prepare for his arrival. (giving the Sultan’s hat and his dagger (with his power) to slash the hat in half)

Abis Mal: Hey! That was a nice hat. I could have worn that hat!

Jafar: We need this for our plan.

Abis Mal: Couldn't we use another hat for the plan?

Jafar: Oh, no. The sultan's turban and this dagger are exactly what we need to seal Aladdin's doom.

[After nearly a day and a half of hiking, Aladdin returns to the palace. And who is there to greet him but Captain Razoul.]

Aladdin: Razoul! The sultan's been…

Razoul: Seize him! You are under arrest for the murder of the sultan!

Aladdin: What?! No!

[Once again Aladdin finds himself in the dungeon, it is the same cell as last time, and Jafar has neglected to close the exit to the Cave of Wonders. Aladdin is explaining his story time and time again to Razoul.]

Razoul: And then you went over the waterfall, eh? Ha! How did you survive?

Aladdin: I…I don't know.

Razoul: How very convenient.

Aladdin: It's the truth! Why won't you believe me?

Jasmine: [angry] Because we know you're lying!

Aladdin: Huh?

Jasmine: I found this in your room. My father's turban…slashed!

Aladdin: You can't think…

Jasmine: I thought you loved me! But now I see that all you wanted to do was rule Agrabah!

Aladdin: I never wanted…

Jasmine: He shall die at dawn for the murder of my father.

[Jasmine runs out of the dungeon, but not before taking a detour.]

Aladdin: Jasmine, please!

Razoul: You're in my hands now, street rat!

[Jasmine marches up the stairs and into Jafar's lab. Abis Mal is now shackling another prisoner: Jasmine. The first Jasmine turns to the other and morphs into Jafar.]

Jafar: [chuckles at the awful plight] You should have seen the look on Aladdin's face when Princess Jasmine sentenced him to death!

Jasmine: No!

Abis Mal: Oh, yes! And then I get my wish!

Jafar: Yes, and then you get your wish.

Jasmine: Iago! I swear one day you will pay for this!

Iago: I really think you're making too big a deal out of this.

Jafar: Such spirit! Perhaps after a few days in chains you'll be more kindly disposed toward me. Especially if you want your father to remain healthy! Ah, Iago, you betrayed me and allied yourself with my enemies. Then you turned on them as soon as it was in your best interests. That's what I love about you. You're so perfectly predictable. A villain through and through.

Iago: Thank you. Thank you. Whew.

[Iago sadly looks at his friends. What is he going to do?]

[Setting: The Dungeon along with Aladdin locked up in chains. Razoul arrives, smells, and sighs.]

Razoul: Dawn!

[Jafar once again morphs into Jasmine, this time in her peasant garb.]

Jafar (Jasmine): [sexily] I'll tell your boyfriend good-bye for you, Princess.

Sultan: When I get hold of you, Jafar…

Jafar (Jasmine): [real voice] I'm so worried.

[After the fake princess leaves, Iago begins calculating the softest spot on the hourglass.]

Jasmine: How could you double-cross Aladdin after all he's done for you?!

[Abu chatters angrily at Iago.]

Iago: Hey, do I insult your mother?

Jasmine: What are you doing now?

[Iago whacks Genie's hourglass with a wooden rod, but nothing happens.]

Iago: Oh, what does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to free the chump genie so he can save your chump boyfriend!

[Razoul and an entourage of guards lead the boy up to the palace's blacksmith who is in the midst of sharpening Razoul's sword. After rubbing his thumb on the blade and see a small trickle of blood, he swiped the sword through a 2x4 and it split in two, cleanly. Iago lifts Genie's hourglass high into the air and prepares to push it off of one of the ledges and onto the floor.]

Jasmine: You have to lift it higher!

Iago: Sure. No problem.

[Setting: The Executioner's Pavilion at sunrise along with the guards pushing Aladdin into the bladeless guillotine and Razoul trying to behead him and Jasmine approaches.]

Jasmine: Wait!

Aladdin: Jasmine! I knew you wouldn't go through with this.

Jasmine: I just wanted to say good-bye, [briefly morphing her face into Jafar and morphing back] street rat!

Aladdin: Jafar! It's Jafar… [mumbled with a sack]

[Iago is lifting Genie's hourglass higher and higher. Iago pushes with all his might and the hourglass falls to the floor, shattering into millions of pieces and freeing Genie. Genie whizzes to the block and grabs Aladdin just as Razoul is bringing the sword down during Aladdin's execution.]

Aladdin: Thanks for saving me!

Genie: Oh, come on, Al. You know I had to. That no-head look is just not you. For my next trick: Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo! [all of the prisoners in the lab are safe and sound in Jasmine's room] Oh-ho, and everybody's safe and sound.

Jasmine: Aladdin!

[Jasmine and Aladdin embrace.]

Abu: Aladdin!

Aladdin: Good to see you, too, Abu!

Jasmine: There's somebody else who wants to talk to you.

Iago: Hello.

Aladdin: You set me up! How could you show your face? You're nothing but a… (Iago hides behind Jasmine's pants leg)

Jasmine: Aladdin, Iago rescued us. He didn't have to, but he did.

Aladdin: Rescued? Him?

Iago: Please note…"Did not have to, but did." Now we should be fleeing for our lives if you don't mind!

Aladdin: No! We have to stop Jafar!

Jasmine: But how? He's so powerful!

Genie: [chimes in] His lamp. If you destroy Jafar's lamp, you destroy Jafar.

Aladdin: Then that's what we'll do!

Iago: Reality check: Jafar is large and in charge.

Sultan: Yes. There's no telling what Jafar will do to Agrabah. We have a responsibility!

Iago: Maybe you do, but I don't! I'm only responsible for me, myself, and nobody!

Aladdin: I understand Iago. You've done enough. And thanks!

Iago: Hey, I did my good deed! I don't owe you a thing! You hear me! Not a thing.

[Setting: The Sultan’s Throne Room, but Jafar is laughing evilly filled with echoes.]

Jafar: Now that my revenge is complete there is one little matter left to resolve…

Abis Mal: Yes! The wish!

Jafar: Indeed. You will now wish me free of this wretched lamp!

Abis Mal: No! My wish! You got what you wanted! Now it's my turn!

Jafar: But you don't need to waste your third wish. You want the sunken treasure of Coeur du Mer? It's yours!

[Jafar is angry once again and then grants some freebies for Abis Mal just to shut him up.]

Abis Mal: [cheering and laughing excitedly] Yes, yes, yes! Yes! I love it! I love it! Silver! Lots and lots of it! Oh, I'm so excited! So this means I could have more stuff? I always wanted one of those! Nice! More! More!

[What Jafar doesn't notice is that Genie is trying to stretch his arm to grab the lamp, but it is smashed under a golden eagle statue.]

Sultan: Oh, dear!

Jafar: Now, if it's obscenely excessive enough perhaps you'd care to grant my freedom.

Abis Mal: Huh? What? Oh, yeah, right. Wish you were free. Sure thing, yeah. I wish for Jafar to be… [he stops, thinking a bit about the repercussions of wishing] Wait…how do I know that these things won't disappear once I set you free?

Jafar: The more pressing question is: how will you stay alive if you don't?!

Abis Mal: But…but you said genies can't kill! You said that!

Jafar: You'd be surprised what you can live through. What?!

[When Jafar turns around there is Aladdin reaching for the lamp.]

Abis Mal: Huh? Hey!

Aladdin: I'll take that!

Abis Mal: My lamp! Gimme!

Jafar: The street rat? Still alive? No!

[Jafar shoots a fireball at Aladdin and Abis Mal, while they are still struggling. They land on the balcony which has started to crumble. The crumbling is too fast for them and they plummet into the garden.]

Abis Mal: Heeeeelp!

Aladdin: Thanks, Genie! Where's the lamp?

[Abis Mal's shirt gets stuck on a tree, as he is still reaching for the lamp. It falls next to another tree. Aladdin tries to grab it but then, the ground splits and Jafar appears in his Ifrit form.]

Jasmine: The lamp!

Jafar: Not so fast!

[Jafar shoots lightning at the tree scaring off Jasmine.]

Aladdin: Give it up, Jafar! We're obviously too much for you to handle!

Jafar: You! You're a fool to challenge me! I am all-powerful!

Aladdin: Some all-powerful. You can't even get rid of a lowly street rat.

Jafar: A problem I mean to rectify right now!

Jasmine: Aladdin!

[The evil genie grabs Aladdin and begins to squeeze him. But it isn’t before long that the Aladdin he is holding is really Genie in disguise.]

Jafar: What?

Genie: Gotcha! Go, Al!

[Jafar throws Genie aside, knocking him out.]

Jasmine: Genie!

Aladdin: Faster, Carpet!

[Aladdin tries to get the lamp on Carpet, but again, Jafar zaps them with lightning, turning Carpet into sheet glass.]

Aladdin: Carpet, no!

[The glass rug breaks into fragments.]

Jasmine: Aladdin!

[The ground opens up on Aladdin forming a pool of lava as a means to defend the lamp and kill him at the same time.]

Jasmine: Genie, wake up!

Abu: Wake up!

Jafar: [laughing] Give it up, boy! You shall never have my lamp and there's no one to save you this time.

Iago: [charges in, wings flapping] Hey Jafar! SHUT UUUUUP!

Aladdin: Iago?

Jafar: Traitor!

[Iago dives toward the lamp, but Jafar zaps him.]

Jasmine: No!

[As the wounded bird struggles to kick the lamp off of the ledge and into the lava, Jafar laughs evilly.]

Jafar: Good help is so hard to find these days. Isn't it, Aladdin?

[Iago wriggles his foot towards the lamp. Jafar gasps in horror as he realizes exactly what Iago is about to do! Using his last ounce of strength, Iago kicks the lamp, sending it into the molten lava.]

Jafar: My lamp!!! NOOOOO!!!!!

Aladdin: Iago!

[Aladdin reaches for the bird just before his limp body falls into the lava. Jafar is reacting negatively to the destruction of his lamp. He feels pain shoot through his arm and sees his bones appear through his ectoplasmic skin. The boy rushes out and watches with his friends as Jafar’s body turns into a skeleton and explodes into dust. All of Jafar’s deeds as a genie are undone.]

Abu: Oh, boy! [high fiving and bumping on Carpet friendly]

[After defeating Jafar, everyone gathers around Iago, who appears as though injured and unconscious.]

Aladdin: Iago.

Jasmine: No!

Aladdin: But…I thought a genie couldn't kill anyone.

Iago: [coughs, as he awakens] You'd be surprised what you can live through.

Aladdin: All right!

Abu: Oh, boy!

Jasmine: Oh, Iago!

Genie: [laughs] He's alive! [turns into a rocket and explodes]

Iago: [in the Sultan’s cushion bandaged with his left foot and arms plus his head] …And so the bird lived happily ever after, wallowing in luxury as Aladdin's palace pal.

Sultan: Now, my dear boy or should I say, my new vizier?

Iago: Oh, say it!

Aladdin: Sultan, I'm very honored, but…

Iago: But?! What but? "But" is such a strong word!

Abu: Why, I oughta…

Aladdin: I can't be your vizier.

Iago: What?! Sultan, the boy's talking crazy talk! Don't listen! What more do you want?

Aladdin: The world.

Iago: Look, personally, I'm with you, kid but let's take it one step at a time.

Aladdin: I mean…I want to see the world. I can't just stay in the palace. There's too much to do, too much to see.

Iago: Hey, what about your girlfriend? Do you think that this lovely princess is just going to wait around here?

Jasmine: I most certainly will not!

Iago: There, you see?

Jasmine: I'm going to see the world, too.

Iago: Okay, that's it! The madness is spreading! Crazy talk! Why do I keep getting hooked up with these warped people? Shouldn't somebody ask what the brave parrot wants to do?

[Post-credits scene: The Palace’s Gardens at night with Abis Mal hanging from a tree after Jafar’s death and defeat.]

Abis Mal: Does this mean I don't get my third wish?

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.