Sheldon: (to Amy) I figured out in which order I would eat all my friends in the event of an apocalypse. Because I love you, you're dessert.
Amy: (touched, but disgusted) I wanna say "awww" but I'm gonna say "ewww".

[first lines]

Leonard: Aw, man, did you see this post from Raj?
Penny: What? Is it another video of him and his dog lady-and-the-tramping some spaghetti?
Leonard: No, he can't afford his apartment, and he's asking if anyone knows of a cheap place to live. I want to say India, but it seems mean. [cut to Howard chuckling as Bernadette gets into bed with him]
Bernadette: What's so funny?
Howard: Raj is looking for a cheap place to live, and I wrote India.
Bernadette: Don't post that. Be supportive.
Howard: Maybe you should be supportive of my hilarious jokes. Fine, what should we do?
Bernadette: We're smart; I'm sure we can think of something.
Howard: Want to let him live here?
Bernadette: Oh, we're smarter than that. [Cut to Sheldon and Amy in bed]
Sheldon: I know our apartment is small, but I think we could make room.
Amy: No! We are not getting a life-size Spider-Man statue!

Leonard: [about Raj] We do have Sheldon's old room. If her really needs a place to stay, I guess we should offer it to him.
Penny: You're a good friend.
Leonard: Am I still a good friend if I wait and hope that Howard offers him a place to live first?
Penny: You're an even better husband.

Leonard: That was just because my mother got in my head. It's like being possessed, but instead of Satan it's... it- actually it's the same thing.

Leonard: You are not a burden. We want you to come back and stay with us.
Raj: But I also upset Sheldon, and he's not going to want to come over if I'm there.
Penny: More reasons for you to stay.

Amy: No! No Hulk, no Batman, no life-size statues!
Sheldon: Boy, I'm starting to think you didn't mean it when you said you wanted to spruce up the place.

Amy: He's getting better with dogs. Last week, he took a picture with Pluto at Disneyland.
Sheldon: If real dogs gave out buttons, I'd like them too.

[last lines]

Sheldon: D'you know what? I'm proud of us. Yeah, with Penny and Leonard taking in Raj and Stuart living with Howard and Bernadette, we're the only couple of our social group who doesn't need to fill the holes in their relationship with a third party.
Amy: [flatly] Yup, we're killing it. [Sheldon looks over at a life-size statue of Batman]

Howard: You have a Raj, I have a Stuart, maybe we could take them to the park, let 'em run together.
Leonard: I don't know. Yours looks like he has worms.

Sheldon: Beverly, you know I hold you in high esteem. Could you please skip the part where you pretend not to know the answer and get to the part where you tell me the answer?
Beverly: Very well, but if you don't mind, I would like to pause for effect. [pause] Now...

Penny: You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon.
Leonard: "You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon." That'd make a nice needlepoint pillow.

Raj: How's the bathroom situation with Penny? Is there hair everywhere? Does she use your loofah?
Leonard: I don't have a loofah.
Raj: Well, you can't use mine, so don't ask.

Sheldon: Penny, this flyer came in the mail and is addressed to "occupant". I'm not sure if it's for you or me.
Penny: What's it for?
Sheldon: Uh, roof cleaning.
Penny: It's yours.

Amy: I have memories of that room too. It's where you first told me you loved me.
Sheldon: Actually, that was in the hallway outside my room.
Amy: And there's the love of which I speak.

Sheldon: Beverly, do you have time? Leonard tells me that you're busy.
Beverly: Oh, I just say that because he prattles.

Sheldon: ...Penny would be the entrée, Leonard is basically a cheese course, and because I love you so much, you're dessert.
Amy: I wanna say "aww", but I"m gonna say "eww".