THE PROOF IN THE PUDDING
(Open: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Booth and Brennan are staring at a piece of pizza.)
BOOTH: It's clear as a photograph. You don't see anything in the cheese? Nothing. You don't see anything
BRENNAN: Seeing patterns, where none exist is the symptom of Schizophrenia. (Looking closer at the pizza) Why, what do you see?
BOOTH: Michael Jackson doing his.. (he does a Michael Jackson impersation)
BRENNAN: I don't know what that is.
BOOTH: Come on, you..you don't see anything? It's like a kid, when he looks up at the sky and he sees the clouds, and the...
BRENNAN: Oh, I get it. Yes. Your mind forms patterns from random information. Um, Booth, I have a lot of work.
BOOTH: Right, no. I..I just wanted to bring by the pizza so you could eat. It's important that you eat. I will, uh...(he walks off but starts dancing like Michael Jackson)...see you Monday? (Brennan shakes her head. She still has no clue) Nothing? Come on. King of Pop? This Is It? "Thriller?" No? All right, I'll see you Monday.
(He Moon Walks out of the office)
BRENNAN: Bye, Booth.
(Booth leaves. A few seconds later, Cam enters)
CAM: Strange question - I know - but I gotta to ask: are you by any chance pregnant?
BRENNAN: No. I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time.
CAM: Do you want to know why I'm asking?
BRENNAN: You're holding a home pregnancy test. I assume it's positive and you're worried about losing the most important person in this lab.
CAM: No. Very modest. Uh, I'm asking because Michelle was here earlier this afternoon, and the only other two people, besides me, that use that bathroom are you and Angela.
BRENNAN: Well, Angela is currently sexually active.
CAM: Very true.
BRENNAN: With Wendell.
CAM: Very, very active.
BRENNAN: And even if they used condoms, Wendell is young. His sperm is likely to be extremely motile.
CAM: You are so cheering me up right now.
(Cam leaves and starts heading to Angela's office but is cut off by Sweets)
SWEETS: Dr. Saroyan, I was hoping I could pick up those, uh, Strength Deployment Inventory results from you.
SWEETS: You didn't hand them out.
CAM: I was going to, but there was...real work that needed doing. Next week, for sure.
SWEETS: Okay, but these aptitude tests will help you as an administrator to put the right people in key positions...(Cam is walking away, trying to hide the pregnancy test) You're not listening to me, are you?
CAM: No offense intended. (She turns around an leaves and walks into Angela's office) Angela, quick question. Uh, is this your home pregnancy test?
ANGELA: (laughs) I beg your pardon?
CAM: Are you pregnant? Please say yes. (Cam realizes that someone else is in the room and turns around and sees Hodgins) Oh.
HODGINS: Hey. Don't look at me.
CAM: I'm so sorry. I thought we were alone.
HODGINS: Hey, you...you don't have to keep it a secret from me. If, you know, you're pregnant. I mean, I can be happy for you and Wendell.
ANGELA: Wait a minute. Why are you asking me?
CAM: Well, it isn't mine and Dr. Brennan doesn't make life choices without a Boolean flowchart, so I hoped it might be you. I'm not crazy. I'm not... crazy.
HODGINS: What was that all about?
ANGELA: Yeah, well, what makes Cam crazy?
HODGINS: When I do experiments.
HODGINS: Ooh. Sixteen. Ouch.
(Cut to: Cam walking out of Angela's office. Sweets is standing by the door with men in suits.)
SWEETS: Really? Cam, these guys won't let me leave.
CAM: What's going on?
(Another man enters through the main doors of the Lab)
MR. WHITE: Everyone in this facility is confined to this facility.
(Behind him, a gurney rolls in.)
CAM: I'm in charge of this facility.
MR. WHITE: Not tonight, Dr. Saroyan. (to the Suits) Please secure the exits.
SWEETS: Who are you guys?
MR. WHITE: I am Mr. White from the General Services Administration.
CAM: The people we order paper cups and pencils from?
(They lock up the door and the Suites try to access the platform. Brennan enters from around the corner)
BRENNAN: What's going on?
MR. WHITE: Ah, Dr. Brennan. Hello. Your government requires you to figure out how this person died. Until you do, we are all locked in here together as a matter of national security.
SWEETS: Even me?
CAM: He's just an FBI psychologist.
MR. WHITE: No one in, no one out. By order of the federal government. Now, you have till dawn tomorrow to fulfill this task.
SWEETS: What possible incentive do these people have to comply with your orders?
MR. WHITE: Perhaps the fact that you're all paid by the federal government.
CAM: Threats are not really gonna work for you tonight.
MR. WHITE: Okay, fine. How about patriotism? Professionalism? Scientific curiosity. Take your pick. But the sooner you people figure out what killed this individual, the sooner life gets back to normal.
(Cut between the hallways of the Medico Legal Lab. We hear Booth's voice on the phone. He's at the Royal Diner, sitting at the counter, eating. Sweets is at the Lab, trying to be quiet)
BOOTH: (on phone) What do you want, Sweets? Working out, building up a sweat.
SWEETS: (on phone) Booth, I'm in the lab.
BOOTH: Why are you whispering?
SWEETS: A bunch of government guys came in. They sealed the place up. They brought in a body. They won't let anyone come or leave.
BOOTH: What...Slow..slow down. What government guys?
SWEETS: They said they're from the General Services Administration.
BOOTH: Uh, whoa.
SWEETS: They're supposed to be in charge of promoting efficient government operations, like leasing office space and buying paper in bulk. It doesn't make any sense.
BOOTH: Who else is there?
SWEETS: Uh, Doctors Brennan, Saroyan, Hodgins, Angela, and me.
BOOTH: So they knew to come when the techs were gone for the weekend.
SWEETS: Why won't they let me leave? I'm a psychologist.
BOOTH: Alright, look, I'll look into it.
(Booth hangs up)
SWEETS: What should I do? Booth? No!
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform. Cam opens the casket to reveal a skeleton)
MR. WHITE: No destructive testing is allowed, not even the smallest sample. These remains will leave in exactly the condition in which they arrived. My men and I will observe and no one enters or leaves the premises.
CAM: Now that you've kidnapped my lab and my people, maybe you could tell me why.
MR. WHITE: You have not been kidnapped, Doctor. You've been seconded by your government to do your patriotic duty.
BRENNAN: Your "no samples" restriction will severely limit our insights.
MR. WHITE: We require only cause of death. There are a number of samples in here which you may examine but, they too, must not be harmed. (He gets a text message: "We have detained Agent Booth") Identification of these remains is priority zero. Excuse me.
(Mr. White leaves)
CAM: Is there any way I could just persuade you to look at these and guess cause of death?
CAM: I need to get home to kill Michelle.
(They start to take the bones out and place them on the gurney)
(Cut to: Jeffersonian Parking Garage. Booth is with the Suites.)
BOOTH: So any of you guys, you like hockey? No? Ah, knitting. Modern dance? Ultimate fighting? Huh? Saw a flicker from you, pal. I got you pegged.Mr. Ultimate Fighter here. (Mr. White arrives) Oh, look at this. It's the chief.
MR. WHITE: FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth.
BOOTH: That's right. I showed you mine. You want to show me yours?
MR. WHITE: You can call me Mr. White.
BOOTH: Right, from the General Services Administration. So, why'd you lock up my people?
MR. WHITE: That information's classified and they're not actually your people.
BOOTH: I want to go inside.
MR. WHITE: That's not gonna happen.
BOOTH: You timed this, didn't you? So I wasn't in there.
MR. WHITE: Do you need help getting home?
(They have a slight stand-off, but Booth decides to go)
BOOTH: (to one of the Suits) This guy, look at him, huh? Definitely water polo. Thanks for that.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Sweets, Hodgins & Angela are sitting on the couch. The phone rings - it's Booth.)
SWEETS: Booth, you find out anything?
BOOTH: Listen, can you talk? Is anyone else there?
SWEETS: Only the good guys.
BOOTH: All right, put me on speaker.
ANGELA: Hey, uh, this is weird, Booth.
HODGINS: How do we know these guys aren't terrorists?
BOOTH: All right, look, they're not terrorists, okay? They're standard federal issue agents.
SWEETS: Why would the General Services Administration bring in a body?
HODGINS: Standard federal issue cover-up.
ANGELA: This is the first time I have ever been as paranoid as Hodgins.
BOOTH: You're FBI property. If anyone's gonna lock you up, it's gonna be me.
HODGINS: Why are these guys letting us use cell phones?
BOOTH: Why? Because whatever they're doing, these guys think they're untouchable.
(Booth gets in his car. Hodgins, Angela & Sweets slump back against the couch cushions)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform)
BRENNAN: Male, from the subpubic angle. Last phase development at costochondral junctions.
CAM: Older than 39 at the time of death.
BRENNAN: This L4 vertebra shows evidence of having been badly compressed.
CAM: Youch. Not even two-thirds normal size. Poor guy was in agony.
BRENNAN: Spinal degeneration, osteoporosis.
CAM: Disease, steroids. Hard to tell what caused it without doing a bone sample.
BRENNAN: Bone graft. Looks like, um, a repair to a screw hole.
CAM: Huh. I count three. Metal plates?
BRENNAN: Indicating multiple corrective surgeries.
CAM: Which could help us positively identify these remains.
BRENNAN: No, Mr. White told us to regard identification as a zero priority.
CAM: I'm not as good as you are at doing what I'm told.
BRENNAN: Thank you. We can't check DNA or take bone scrapings for mass spec. (she opens up a suitcase with samples in it) Samples, particulates..these should go to Hodgins.
CAM: Fire in the hole. (screaming) Hodgins!
BRENNAN: Oh.You said "fire in the hole" to warn me that you intended on startling those men.
CAM: Like I said, I'm not really the good soldier type.
BRENNAN: Calcification on the left radius.
CAM: Could I suggest that cause of death probably won't be found in the extremities. Check out this skull.
BRENNAN: Well, that would certainly be fatal.
CAM: Blunt-force trauma?
BRENNAN: Or high-velocity gunshot.
HODGINS: Was that you? Ah, who knew you could yell like that?
BRENNAN: Well, she scared the guards.
HODGINS: I find that so hot.
CAM: (to Hodgins, pointing to the case) That's all for you. (to Brennan) There are very distinctive marks on the remaining frontal bone.
BRENNAN: Like a metal grid scratched across it postmortem.
CAM: No tests that degrade the samples. (changing the subject) I'm too young to be a grandmother.
BRENNAN: In some cultures, you're old enough to be a great-grandmother.
HODGINS: But not this one.
BRENNAN: I've been cogitating on the problem of how to date these bones without compromising them. 'll take one and compare it to dated bones.
(She slips one of the small bones into her pocket and then runs off the platform, but is stopped by Mr.White)
MR. WHITE: Dr. Brennan? Where are you going?
BRENNAN: To bone storage. It's in the basement.
(Cut to: Royal Diner. Andrew and Booth are sitting at the counter.)
HACKER: So, this guy's Government Service Administration ID said, "Mr. White."
BOOTH: That's it.
HACKER: You recognize him?
HACKER: God, I hate these covert guys.
BOOTH: Right. I'm going in.
HACKER: No, no, no. You aren't.
HACKER: It's unprofessional in terms of interagency cooperation.
HACKER: I said it like that so you'd know I wasn't serious.
BOOTH: Right. So you're going to help me.
HACKER: What? Are you serious?
HACKER: Not stopping you is not the same as helping you. But I will help after, when you're in some nonexistent CIA prison, whatever.
BOOTH: Yeah, okay. Thanks for the support.
HACKER: Mm-hmm. Hey. There's a reason I'm the boss when you're plainly the better FBI agent.
BOOTH: I'll note that.
HACKER: You know, I'll poke around for some answers. See if I can muddy the waters a little bit.
BOOTH: All right. Okay. Thanks, boss.
HACKER: Yeah. Hey, Booth.
HACKER: You mind telling me why it's so important you get in there?
BOOTH: They're my people.
HACKER: Oh, God. Now you're going to prove that you're a better man than I am, too? That you care more about your people? (Booth leaves and he sighs) How am I going to get anywhere with Temperance if you keep making me look bad in comparison?
(Cut to: Outside the Royal Diner. Booth is on the phone with Sweets. Sweets is in the lab. Scene cuts back and forth.)
BOOTH: Hey, Sweets.
SWEETS: Hodgins says they're listening to everything we say to each other. Is that true?
BOOTH: Forget about that.
SWEETS: What? So just ignore it? Talk normally?
BOOTH: Yeah, go ahead. Give it your best shot.
SWEETS: Okay. Well, I made some observations. The big guys barely glance at each other but they're ready to respond as a unit easily. They've either been partnered up for years, or they've been through some pretty hairy situations together.
BOOTH: Right. Right. So it's an active unit.
SWEETS: Also, they don't respect Mr. White. When he's not looking, they flick their eyes toward each other.
BOOTH: Right. They don't like working for him.
SWEETS: Yes, exactly. But they treat the body on the gurney with great deference.
BOOTH: Fallen comrade.
SWEETS: That was my first thought.
BOOTH: Attaboy, Sweets. Attaboy.
(Mr. White appears around the corner at the Jeffersonian and runs into Sweets and closes his phone. He was listening in. Sweets turns and walks away)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Hodgins & Angela are examining the samples. )
HODGINS: Who do you think we've got here? Jimmy Hoffa? There. Another cloth fiber. Wool.
ANGELA: Well, it could be, like, D.B. Cooper, that hijacker. But we're not supposed to conjecture about the identity of the victim.
HODGINS: No, we're not supposed to investigate. This is America, baby. We can conjecture all we want.
ANGELA: Well, he does have a good brow line and nice, strong jaw. I mean, whoever he was, he was good-looking.
HODGINS: You should do a reconstruction. (looks at the screen) Hair. It's probably human.
ANGELA: Don't you think they're going to know what I'm doing?
HODGINS: So what? Just tell them we need to see what the, you know, victim's skull looked like before the damage.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform. Hodgins is looking at the bones. Brennan & Cam join him on the platform)
HODGINS: Did you find anything?
BRENNAN: The victim died within months of the Limited Test Ban Treaty.
HODGINS: That was in 1963.
CAM: You look like you're about to explode.
HODGINS: Is there, by any chance, a nick on a right rib somewhere near the third thoracic vertebra?
BRENNAN: Yes. Um, most likely caused by a transiting bullet.
CAM: Hodgins, you're vibrating.
HODGINS: One of the fiber samples turned out to be pink wool. The bad back. A nick from a transiting bullet. 1963.
CAM: Wait. Pink wool, as in Chanel?
HODGINS: She never left his side.
CAM: Severe head wound. Oh, my God.This - is President John F. Kennedy. Why would they bring us JFK's remains after all these years?
HODGINS: Because people have a thirst for the truth. And other people want to make sure that truth is never proclaimed.
CAM: Which are these?
BRENNAN: Oh, I've been considering...in what kind of casket was the president buried?
CAM: That's a good casket. How could his remains be completely skeletonized?
BRENNAN: If the casket was compromised and allowed in oxygen and moisture, skeletonization could have occurred.
HODGINS: It's naive of us to imagine that Kennedy's remains were actually ever interred at Arlington. The hair I found? No cuticle or cortex. It's synthetic. As it happens, after JFK was shot, the funeral home tried a cosmetic fix with wig hair, wax, and a metal mesh holding it in place.
CAM: Ah! The mesh would explain the crisscross patterns on the skull.
(Booth appears outside the glass doors and tries to open them with his hands)
CAM: I can't confront Michelle about something this big over the telephone, right?
BRENNAN: What? The fact that you may be investigating the murder of the president of the United States?
CAM: No. The fact that she's pregnant.
(Booth isn't making any headway so he tries a new tactic. He raises his gun and shoots - breaking the glass so that he can enter.)
BOOTH: Hiya, Bones.
(The guards run at him and knock him down)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Upstairs Lounge Area. Booth is sitting on the couch with an ice pack on his head. Brennan joins him)
BRENNAN: You all right?
BOOTH: Yeah. You know, I can tell you. Those are a couple of big guys. Did you figure out who that guy is yet?
BRENNAN: Hodgins and Cam are convinced that it's John F. Kennedy. The 35th president of the United States who was assassinated on November 22, 1963.
BOOTH: I know who JFK is.
BRENNAN: Also, Cam is certain that Michelle is pregnant.
BOOTH: Usually, that would be big news but right now, it's not so much. It's JFK? Wait. Was Hodgins the first to say that it was JFK?
BOOTH: Then it's not JFK.
BRENNAN: No. Hodgins is an excellent scientist.
(Mr. White walks up)
BOOTH: Hey, Mr. White.
MR. WHITE: How'd you get past the guards?
BOOTH: Uh, sniper training. It trained me how to walk really, really quietly.
MR. WHITE: You are now restricted to the building, of course.
BOOTH: (sarcastically) Damn. Who saw that coming?
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Cam's Office. Cam is sitting at her desk, debating if she should call Michelle and confront her. Angela enters.)
ANGELA: Awkward. Awkward. Very awkward.
CAM: What's awkward?
ANGELA: About Michelle...
CAM: Oh, I'm going to call her right now and tell her that I need to talk to her as soon as I get out of here.
ANGELA: About-about the pregnancy test?
CAM: She lied to me. She told me to my facethat she wasn't having s*x with that boy. She lied to my face.
ANGELA: It's my pregnancy test. (Cam is relieved) I'm - I'm sorry, Cam. I would have told you sooner but Hodgins was in the room, and...
CAM: Oh, thank God. No. I mean...
ANGELA: It's okay.
CAM: You alright?
ANGELA: Um, I'm a - I'm a bit in shock.
Well, does Wendell know?
ANGELA: No. No, no. Only you and I know and, I mean, really, shouldn't Wendell be the first to know? But I figured that you-you need to know.
CAM: Because I was freaking out about Michelle. Thank you.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Cat Walk. Booth is sitting and talking to Hacker on the phone.)
BOOTH: Any luck finding out what's going on?
HACKER: Nobody knows anything. Whatever this is, it's locked down pretty tight. Do you have any idea who these guys are?
BOOTH: Well, they took me down in a classic Secret Service protocol.
(Mr. White is listening in.)
HACKER: Secret Service? Do yourself a favor. Don't tell any Reagan jokes or mention the Bush shoe incident. They get really mad.
BOOTH: Right. You have any contacts inside the White House?
HACKER: Of course I do. I'm extremely well-connected. I'm insulted you even asked that question. (he hangs up) Do I have any contacts in the White House?
(Mr. White watches Booth. Booth waves back. Mr. White is not amused.)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela just told Hodgins that she's pregnant.)
HODGINS: Oh. Wow.
ANGELA: So, Wendell should be the first to know but you should be the second and since I told Cam, I-I should tell you.
HODGINS: Do I say, "Congratulations"?
ANGELA: I don't know. I mean, it's not the right time. It's not the right guy.
HODGINS: Well, you know, Wendell, uh, he..He might rise to the occasion. I mean, you know, he's-he's a good guy.
ANGELA: No, I didn't mean that. I mean...a baby. I mean, you're linked to that person for the rest of your life. Like, way more than if you're married. I mean, you're linked through another human being. A soul.
HODGINS: Okay. I'm-I'm gonna say, "Congratulations." Um, not for today but for how you're going to feel about this later on.
ANGELA: Well, I might not even keep it.
HODGINS: You're going to keep it, Angela. You always wanted kids. Lots of 'em. (there's a beeping noise.) I'm gonna go get the others.
(Time lapse to a few minutes later in Angela's office. The gang's all there.)
BOOTH: That is not JFK.
HODGINS: Kennedy was on steroids to treat Addison's disease. That's what wrecked his back and adrenals.
(Mr. White peers through the window and realizes what they're doing)
CAM: Well, that would create a more Cushingoid appearance.
MR. WHITE: You are not permitted to identify the victim.
BRENNAN: In order to recreate what happened to the skull, we need to encase it in flesh.
ANGELA: It's totally nondescript, as you can see.
SWEETS: You know who I kind of see? Ricky Martin.
HODGINS: Alex Trebek.
CAM: James Garner.
BRENNAN: I see Booth.
BOOTH: You think that looks like me?
BRENNAN: Yes, I do. I'll be in the bone room, looking at the actual skull.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room. Brennan is checking out the skull when Booth enters)
BOOTH: Hey. So, if it was JFK, Angela's facial reconstruction would have shown us this, right?
BRENNAN: No. Facial reconstructions are not photographs, Booth. There's a wide latitude for interpretation. There. (points to a part of the skull) This could be the point of entry. The semicircle is beveled, wider on the inside than the outside.
BOOTH: That was the entry?
BRENNAN: If-if the victim was shot from the rear, yes.The beveling is usually like an arrow, pointing toward the shooter. As to the exit, we're missing some skull fragments.
BOOTH: Maybe they were held back on purpose.
BRENNAN: Possibly, but it's much more likely they were pulverized and scattered by the bullet impact. Forensic techniques in the early '60s were relatively primitive.
BOOTH: Check above the right temple on the skull or a fragment from there.
BRENNAN: Ha! So suddenly you're an expert on ballistic forensics?
BOOTH: That's where JFK's exit wound was.
BRENNAN: Why do you know so much about the Kennedy assassination?
BOOTH: Bones, I'm a trained sniper. How quickly you forget.
BRENNAN: Well, well, you were right about the exit.
BOOTH: Whew. Right. Well, it doesn't mean it's the president. I mean, people get shot in the head all the time, right?
BRENNAN: That's true. Or perhaps Angela can re-create the situation under which this wound occurred.
BOOTH: Or she could re-create JFK's shooting so we can rule him out, right?
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. The recreation of JFK's shooting is on the screen)
ANGELA: I requested this animation from the Justice Department.
BRENNAN: I found a right-rear entry with an exit in the right parietal region.
HODGINS: Kennedy wounds exactly.
ANGELA: Right. So his head went back and to the left.
BOOTH: Look, heads do all sorts of crazy things when you shoot 'em.
HODGINS: Since this is based on the official record, I can't believe it.
BOOTH: Here we go.
HODGINS: You think there's no way the president of the United States gets murdered in public in broad daylight and, and the truth gets covered up?
BOOTH: That's right. It doesn't happen. This is America.
HODGINS: The highest form of patriotism is to be skeptical of the official truth. That is why the First Amendment, free speech, is first in the Constitution you would die to protect. The lone gunman version isn't possible. The guy in front, John Connolly, gets shot 1.6 seconds after Kennedy
BOOTH: It's a piece of cake.
HODGINS: With a World War II Italian rifle that was older than Lee Harvey Oswald? Come on.
BOOTH: I'm sorry, but have you ever shot a rifle? If I had one of those guns right now, I'd show you right now.
HODGINS: You're on.
BRENNAN: No one is allowed to leave the Jeffersonian.
HODGINS: No, we don't have to leave. I know exactly where to find an exact replica of the rifle here at the Jeffersonian.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hallway. Booth, Hodgins & Sweets are talking.)
HODGINS: Lee Harvey Oswald's rifle is in the Jeffersonian but the FBI used an exact replica to re-create the assassination. We've got that down in storage.
SWEETS: But they said we have to stay in the lab area.
HODGINS: The janitor's closet is in the lab area. Okay, all right, a couple years ago, right, I check out the claims of this conspiracy group that says that the Jeffersonian was a Masonic construction. (He pulls out a cloth map) They said that there was a passageway. Well, it turns out to be true. Check this out. There's a fake wall in the janitor's closet, covers a ladder.
SWEETS: So, what? We just sneak in one by one? Hope they don't see us?
HODGINS: Yeah. You got a better idea?
BOOTH: Sounds good to me.
(Sweets & Booth sneak into the janitors closet while Hodgins goes in, but comes out a mop to throw off Mr. White. He's been watching)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Storage Room.)
SWEETS: So I, uh, used the fact that Mr. White was eavesdropping on us to sow the seeds of discord.
SWEETS: You know, I lodged in his subconscious that his men don't respect him.
BOOTH: Sweets, these guys are pros. You didn't lodge anything or sow any seeds.
SWEETS: Oh, wow. Hope Hodgins' map is accurate. Okay, so the JFK investigation stuff is over there. Okay, I'm gonna say something that's gonna make you think that I'm as paranoid as Hodgins.
SWEETS: This feels like a test to me.
BOOTH: Who's being tested?
SWEETS: I don't know. The men in black suits? Dr. Brennan? Dr. Saroyan? You?
SWEETS: Yeah, maybe even me. I don't know. It just feels like a test. I can't be more specific. Is that it? "01033." This is it.
(They open the drawer and see the rifle)
BOOTH: There it is.
SWEETS: Is that the actual weapon?
BOOTH: Yeah. It's a perfect replica made by the FBI.
SWEETS: Perhaps the most hated weapon in United States history.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Area outside the Janitor's Closet. Hodgins is talking to Mr. White to distract him.)
HODGINS: Uh, Mr. White? Yeah, I've done all I can do, so I'm gonna leave the premises.
MR. WHITE: I'm sorry. That's impossible.
HODGINS: Um... you can't stop me because I'm an American. So, I've got rights.
(Booth & Sweets sneak out of the janitor's closet)
MR. WHITE: I'd rather not hurt you.
HODGINS: Hey, nice job with Bush and the whole flying shoe incident, by the way. I want to compliment you on that one.
(Mr. White punches Hodgins in the back)
BOOTH: Hey, you want to try me instead of some bigmouth scientist, huh? (Mr. White doesn't respond. He walks away) Yeah. I thought so. Come on. (he helps Hodgins up) That Bush comment? To him? You're lucky he didn't paralyze you for life. (Hodgins groans) Easy.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room. Cam & Brennan are examining the wounds.)
CAM: Here's the entry wound close up.
BRENNAN: Little circumcircular geometry.
CAM: Perpendicular bisectors reveal the center. And our diameter is...
BRENNAN: 6.5 millimeters.
CAM: Same caliber as Oswald's rifle.
BOOTH: Hey, guys, guys, listen. I'm gonna need some science, uh, jibber jabber to distract these guys.
BRENNAN: Oh, you know who can do jibber jabber?
BOOTH: Perfect. My lucky day. Come on. All right.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hallway.)
MR. WHITE: You want my permission to shoot a cantaloupe?
MR. WHITE: With my sidearm?
BRENNAN: You took away Agent Booth's firearm.
CAM: You want our best work? This is what we do.
MR. WHITE: And this experiment is essential to cause of death?
BRENNAN: Because you have forbidden us from taking samples in order to estimate the osteoconductivity of the oblique taphonomic remodeling, pertaining to the mid-sagittal plane, encelphalametric transaction or translation, if you will, of the intermatrix can be deduced by correlating the force/displacement values with the osteogenic, and geogenic, hydrogel nanocomposite we placed inside the surrogate.
MR. WHITE: Which is the cantaloupe.
BRENNAN: You understand me perfectly.
MR. WHITE: How many bullets?
CAM: Just one.
(Mr. White hands the cantaloupe to Brennan, takes out his gun and has it to Booth - with only one bullet in it.)
MR. WHITE: We'll be watching.
BOOTH: Bring your popcorn. (softly, to Brennan) Good work.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform.)
SWEETS: I placed the rifle where Booth could get it.
HODGINS: The president's limo was traveling approximately 4.5 meters per second.
SWEETS: How fast is that?
HODGINS: Ten, eleven miles per hour. Okay, so when the lights flash green, it'll be the correct speed and Booth can fire. (Booth is waiting, on the catwalk, pistol in hand, ready to fire) Ready?
(The girls are on the opposite of the catwalk. They all cover their ears. The machine starts moving and Booth quickly leans over and switches weapons. He now has the replica of the rifle in hand. The light turns green and he shoots both of the cantaloupes. The Men in black, who were watching from another part of the cat walk, are not amused.)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Bone Room.)
MR. WHITE: 20 minutes after this operation ends, your career in the federal law enforcement is over.
CAM: Hey, Mr. White, enough.
MR. WHITE: None of your results will survive. All this was for nothing.
(Mr. White leaves and the group says nothing for a few minutes until...)
HODGINS: (he enters some information into the computer) 1.6 seconds exactly.
BOOTH: Case closed. Oswald could have made the shot.
HODGINS: Booth, Oswald was a lousy shot. You're one of the best.
SWEETS: Yeah, with none of the nerves that an actual assassin would experience.
HODGINS: In the lab, no wind, no distractions, aiming at fruit. I mean, come on. You barely made the shot.
ANGELA: Yeah, I hate to admit this, Booth, but Hodgins is making a pretty good point.
BOOTH: All he's proving is, he made up his mind. Oswald shot Kennedy. We just proved that, okay? (He starts to head towards the door until...)
BRENNAN: Simple entry wound here. If you look closer, there are microfractures radiating from the exit wound which suggests, it wasn't an exit but an entrance.
CAM: Reverse beveling.
BRENNAN: I'm sorry, it's true. If this is another entry from a completely different angle, then logically, there was a second gunman.
(Booth doesn't like what he's hearing and walks out. Brennan knows that somehow, she made him mad and goes off to find him.)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Booth is sitting on the couch when Brennan enters.)
BOOTH: Two shooters. You know what that proves to me?
BRENNAN: Only that there were two shooters.
BOOTH: No, that those remains were not John F. Kennedy.
BRENNAN: Why is it so important to you that this not be President Kennedy?
(She sits down next to him on the couch)
BOOTH: If it was him, he was killed by two gunman.
BOOTH: And if he was killed by two gunmen, the the government lied; they covered it up.
BRENNAN: Throughout history, governments have lied with impunity to other governments and to their own citizens. Booth, this...does this have anything to do with the fact that your ancestor was a famous assassin?
BRENNAN: John Wilkes Booth who killed President Lincoln.
BOOTH: You promised you would never mention that. You said that to me.
(Booth is pissed. He gets up and walks out of her office. She follows him to the doorway)
BRENNAN: No, you told me not to! (Booth's phone rings) I never promised! But I promise now! (She's crushed. She knows she hurt Booth.) I promise now!
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hallway. Booth is on the phone with Hacker.)
BOOTH: So did you find anything?
HACKER: Did you hear about this congressional committee that's trying to get permission to exhume JFK?
BOOTH: Why the hell would anybody want to do that?
HACKER: To see if modern forensic methods can tell us anything about the circumstances of his death.
BOOTH: Well, Teddy Kennedy believed in the Warren Commission all the way up to the day he died.
HACKER: Yeah and Bobby Kennedy was suspicious right up until the day he was assassinated.
BOOTH: What does that have to do with our friends here in the black suits?
HACKER: All I was able to find out is that there are parties very interested in the outcome of that congressional hearing. Booth, are you being held against your will?
BOOTH: (scoffing) Come on. I can get out if I wanted to.
HACKER: That's not the question I asked you. I asked you is an agent of the FBI being held by persons unknown against his will?
BOOTH: Yeah, we all are.
HACKER: Then I find, on behalf of the FBI, I'm annoyed by their arrogance.
(Booth hangs up)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela is running stuff on the computer when Hodgins enters.)
ANGELA: Hey, uh, I'll have Brennan's analysis of the entry angles up in one second.
HODGINS: You're gonna have this baby.
ANGELA: I don't know that yet.
HODGINS: Yeah, well, when you do...I've been thinking.You're gonna try to raise this kid on your own.Wendell is a very decent guy...
ANGELA: He's a great guy.
HODGINS: I know. But he's a struggling grad student, and you're gonna minimize his responsibilities for his own good.
ANGELA: Geez. Regular Nostradamus there, huh, Hodgins? Predicting the future?
HODGINS: Says the woman who consults a psychic. My point is, I'm your guy.
HODGINS: I'm your guy. I love you. I love you and I want to help you in whatever way I can. If-if you want to move in together, if-if you want to get married...I'm here for you. And for the baby. In whatever role you need. (Angela says nothing.) Okay.
(He leaves her in the office)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform.)
BRENNAN: There's calcification on the left radius.
CAM: You keep returning to the victim's arm. The victim didn't die from a little calcification.
SWEETS: Yeah, even I can tell that two bullets to the head probably did him in.
CAM: You two don't understand: Booth is a very patriotic man. He believes this is the greatest country ever.
BRENNAN: Being the best doesn't mean being perfect.
SWEETS: It's naive to think that a country the size and influence of the U.S. doesn't pursue secret agendas.
CAM: The Kennedy assassination wasn't a secret agenda. It was a black stain. A dark moment in history. Do you know how many people Booth has shot..for his country?
BRENNAN: Approximately 50.
SWEETS: Wow, that's a lot of blood to have on your hands. I mean, it's the kind of thing that would keep a person awake at night.
CAM: And Booth did that because he trusted that it was right. And who did he trust?
SWEETS: The government.
BRENNAN: (finally realizes) Oh.
CAM: If they lied about the murder of a president, they can lie about anything.
(Mr. White joins them on the platform)
MR. WHITE: Dr. Brennan. Dr. Saroyan. Your work is done. Thank you.
BRENNAN: No, but we're not finished.
MR. WHITE: The good news is, you all get to go home.
CAM: Our results are inconclusive at best.
BRENNAN: No. There's still unexplained calcification on a radius bone.
MR. WHITE: In an hour, you'll find that this never happened.
BRENNAN: But if you didn't want the truth, then what was this all for?
MR. WHITE: I have no idea.
BRENNAN: No, wait, wait. One more piece of analysis and we get the whole truth.
MR. WHITE:The whole truth is not the point. Please, pack the remains up for transportation.
CAM: Mr. White? For future reference, you might want to inform your bosses that we don't do half-truth here.
(Mr. White leaves the platform)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela is sitting at her desk when Cam enters.)
ANGELA: Hey. (Cam hands Angela a piece of paper.) What is this?
CAM: You aren't pregnant. When I thought it was Michelle, I retested the sample. I just got the results. It's a false positive.
ANGELA: Uh, well, thank you for this.
(Cam leaves. Angela looks a bit sad.)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform.)
BOOTH: So, you found cause of death. You think it's Kennedy. What's left?
BRENNAN: There are loose ends.
BOOTH: Well, how long is it going to take you to tidy up your loose ends here?
CAM: The big man always comes through. Always.
(Mr. White joins them)
MR. WHITE: Those remains ready for transport?
BOOTH: Yeah, there's a problem.
CAM: (quietly, to Booth) What are you going to do?
BOOTH: (quietly, to Brennan & Cam) I'm going to give you the time you need in order to find out the truth. (to Mr. White) Ah, Mr. White. How are you?
(He shakes his hand, handcuffs him and then handcuffs him to the railing.)
MR. WHITE: What are you doing, Agent Booth?!
BOOTH: You know what, your job is to protect the president. My job is to solve murders.
(Booth flips Mr. White over the railing and then starts running through the hallway, distracting the other Men in Black. Brennan sees an opportunity and grabs the two radius bones and make a run for it. Booth, meanwhile, trips up another one of the MIB and handcuffs him to a cart)
BOOTH: (seeing another guy around the corner) Ho.
MAN IN BLACK: What have you got, feeb?
(Booth kicks him in the nuts and hand cuffs him to another bar.)
BOOTH: Good old American classic on that one, pal.
ANGELA: Oh. My. God.
HODGINS: Man, you Butch Cassidy'd 'em.
SWEETS: Oh, that was totally ninja. Maybe some anger issues there, but you kicked ass.
(Hacker & his crew storm through the doors)
HACKER: (via megaphone) Stand down and drop your weapons. This facility is officially under the jurisdiction of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. (He realizes that Booth has already taken car of the situation and drops the megaphone, defeated.) Aw, man. Ten seconds earlier I would have been the hero, right? (waves) Booth.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Ookey Room. There are two containers with chocolate pudding in them. Booth enters while Brennan is placing the two radius bones on top of the pudding.)
BRENNAN: Hi, Booth.
BOOTH: Is that pudding?
BRENNAN: Yes. I adjusted the specific gravity with a thickening agent to assure the test's efficacy.
BOOTH: But pudding? (Brennan looks over at the pudding and her eyes light up) Whoa, something happened.
BRENNAN: Yes. One of these bones sank and the other one floated.
BOOTH: In the pudding?
BRENNAN: Yes. The heavy bone is healthy. The one that's still floating is riddled with osteomyelitis. President John F. Kennedy never had osteomyelitis.
BOOTH: (relieved) Come here.(he pulls her in for a hug)
BRENNAN: Wow! (laughing) You really didn't want this to be JFK.
BOOTH: You know, you kept looking because of me. Thanks, Bones.
(Andrew and Mr. White enter the room)
ANDREW: Um, I've been speaking with Mr. White here from the General Services Administration and we've come to the conclusion that any reports we all write should be carefully worded. As in, there shouldn't be any words in them.
BOOTH: No words.
ANDREW: No words. Hi, um, Temperance. You look great.
BRENNAN: Thank you, Andrew. It's nice to see you again.
ANDREW: Did Booth describe to you how I came crashing in through the front doors to rescue you?
BRENNAN: No. I would have liked to have seen that.
(Cut to: Royal Diner. Brennan, Booth, Sweets, Cam, Hodgins and Angela are all seated, in a row, at the counter.)
BOOTH: You know, I was able to take those guys down because they were not working as a team. You want to know why? Because Sweets here was able to put a worm of doubt in Mr. White's brain.
SWEETS: Thank you, Booth but I'm pretty sure that the whole thing was part of some kind of test.
CAM: Who was being tested?
HODGINS: It wasn't a test. It was the government trying to figure out if modern forensic analysis could solve the greatest mystery of all time.
ANGELA: Yeah, but the victim turned out not to be Kennedy.
HODGINS: What if the only part of Kennedy that wasn't Kennedy was that floating arm bone?
BOOTH: Maybe I was being tested, you know, after my brain surgery.
SWEETS: Or me.
HODGINS: Come on, guys. If they were testing anybody, it's me. They think I'm a paranoid conspiracy theorist.
CAM: Or maybe they were testing me to see if I could run a lab in a professional manner.
ANGELA: Well, you do realize that all these tests? Everybody failed.
BRENNAN: Not me. I figured out the truth.
BOOTH: There's a congressional committee suggesting that Kennedy be exhumed.
CAM: You mean we were some sort of dry run?
HODGINS: And that's why we couldn't mark the bones.
CAM: Except they weren't Kennedy's bones.
(They all look towards Brennan - for final verification.)
BRENNAN: No. They weren't Kennedy's bones.
(Cut to: Street Outside the Royal Diner. Hodgins and Angela are leaving.)
HODGINS: So, can I get you a cab?
ANGELA: I'm not pregnant. It was a false positive.
HODGINS: Oh, well, that must be a big relief.
HODGINS: Everything goes back to normal. How it was before.
ANGELA: Yeah. Yeah, but, um, I-I wanna...I want to thank you for...
HODGINS: Nah. Hey, forget it.
ANGELA: I'll never forget it.
(They link arms and walk down the street. Together.)
(Cut to: Outside the Royal Diner. Brennan and Cam are leaving.)
CAM: Were you aware that JFK had scarlet fever in childhood?
BRENNAN: Hodgins informed me of that fact, yes.
CAM: Scarlet fever can cause osteomyelitis.
BRENNAN: It's very rare, Cam. It can happen in approximately one in a hundred cases. It's statistically unlikely that it was Kennedy.
CAM: You're a good person. I will never forget what you did for him.
(Cam walks away. A few seconds later, Sweets & Booth exit the diner and join Brennan.)
SWEETS: Oh, I'm oddly energized. I should be exhausted, physically and emotionally, but I feel like I could work all day.
BOOTH: Right, you should get home and get to sleep before you fall over, okay, Sweets.
BOOTH: Yeah. Head to the pillow.
SWEETS: I forgot where I parked my car.
(Sweets walks off)
BOOTH: Shall we?
(He holds out his arm to Brennan, she links arms with him)
BRENNAN: We shall.
BOOTH: You know, you must think I'm crazy for being so happy that it wasn't JFK.
BRENNAN: I'm very impressed. You wanted the truth, even if it was going to hurt you.
BOOTH: I learned that from you.
BOOTH: Yeah. I mean, sometimes you have to go with your brain over your gut.
BRENNAN: That's nice. But I prefer that you always go with your brain over your gut because your gut cannot think.
BOOTH: Your brain can't digest a breakfast burrito. Just saying, to each their own.
BRENNAN: To each their own.
(The camera moves to a television in a store window. Channel 8 News is on with Breaking News across the bottom of the screen. "Breaking News: Congressional Committee denied motion to exhume President John F. Kennedy, citing 'respect for the family.'")