This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Krusty Plate" from season five, which aired on August 1, 2007.


  • [It is closing time at the Krusty Krab as customers walk out.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, good night, folks. Come again. [flips the "Open" sign around to say "Closed"] Thought those deadbeats would never leave. Closin' time, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: [washing plates] There ya go, little buddy. Now everybody's all clean and ready for beddy-bye.
  • Mr. Krabs: [enters kitchen] Time to pack it in, Sponge- Bah! Wha?! [sees a spot on a plate]
  • SpongeBob: All ready, Mr. Krabs. [he takes his hairnet off] Just gotta clock out and...
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's the meaning of this? [SpongeBob inspects the plate and then notices the spot]
  • SpongeBob: [screams] Spot, spot, spot!
  • Mr. Krabs: That's right, a spot. You know the rule. Nobody leaves work till...
  • SpongeBob: ...till everything's ship-shape, sir. Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I'll get this plate cleaned up in a jiffy.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, and, uh, lock up when you're done.
  • SpongeBob: Lock up? Wait, Mr. Krabs. Don't you remember what happened last time you left me here alone? [flashback to Krusty Krab on fire]
  • Mr. Krabs: Should've never left you alone with a lit blow torch and me roller skates. But, since I've removed all the welding equipment from the premises, there's no-ho-ho chance of that happenin' again, right? Now, get to work.
  • SpongeBob: Aye-aye, sir. La-la-la-la-la-la-la. [washes the plate but the spot is still on there] You're a tough little guy, aren't ya? [tries to clean it some more, creating steam through friction, but it's still not coming off] This means war.
  • [cut to SpongeBob trying to use a jackhammer, but it fails. SpongeBob falls to the floor and the overpowered jackhammer causes him hit himself in the face repeatedly. He is then seen using a baseball bat and bangs the plate with it, and then a chainsaw to get it off by banging it on the plate with the blade, but nothing's working]
  • SpongeBob: Wait here, please. [goes off and comes back riding a T-34 Tank, smashing through a safety poster featuring Mr. Krabs] Say good-night, dried on filth. Ready. Aim. Fire! [shoots a small pink sponge onto the plate then checks to see if the spot is gone and it's not.]
  • SpongeBob: [frustrated] That is the last straw! I want you to remember... [crying] you made me do this.
  • [SpongeBob spits on it and tries to rub it out but nothing happens. He lets out a scream of frustration as all of his attempts were fruitless.]
  • SpongeBob: [determined] I got to finish this.
  • [cut to SpongeBob in an army-like outfit. He speaks with an accent]
  • SpongeBob: I'm afraid this is the last time we'll be meeting like this, my friend. Allow me to introduce you to... the SpotMaster 6000. [he points to the SpotMaster 6000 behind him, which is a bizarre-looking cannon with a small microwave on top.] Notice, the microwave-powered laser particle beam. Notice, the laser-guided high pressure water cannon. And notice, the little surprise I installed just for you. A specially woven metal alloy ingeniously combined with state of the art cleansing materials. [soap, mop, bucket, and other materials are combined with it] I call it... [pushes a button to show a ball of steel wool] ...Steel Wool! And it comes with... [a laser pops out of the wool ball] ...a laser! Any last words? [he puts his ear near the plate.] Mmm... I thought not. [he jumps into the seat and puts on goggles] Power up!
  • [SpongeBob turns on a switch on the control panel for the laser-particle beam. The microwave turns on, with a Krabby Patty rotating inside of it. A green laser is fired on the spot.]
  • SpongeBob: Water cannon... on! [turns it on, a blast of water is shooting at the plate.] No effect. Steel wool laser... on! [Turns it on. As the Krusty Krab shakes, lights are shining out of it and Mr. Krabs can see it from his home]
  • Mr. Krabs: Hmmm... strange vortex in the west. Well, it's probably got nothing to do with SpongeBob. [he walks away, and the scene cuts back to the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: OK, you asked for it. It may end life as we know it, but I am crossing the beams! [he crosses the beams] More power! [does so, and it sends out 'sound'-like waves through the air, causing everything to look like it's wiggling. Mr. Krabs checks out his window]
  • Mr. Krabs: Spontaneous molecular distortion, hmm? I guess I better go see what the lad's up to.
  • SpongeBob: More power!
  • Mr. Krabs: [sees a bunch of lasers and fireworks coming from the Krusty Krab] Oh, boy, that can't be good.
  • SpongeBob: More power!
  • Mr. Krabs: Let's see what he's done this time. [puts the key in the lock]
  • SpongeBob: Maximum power! Ahhhhh! [pushes on maximum power. A huge blast wrecks the restaurant and a film of an atomic bomb exploding, which is actually a clip from Operation Crossroad, occurs. We now see the restaurant completely destroyed and then the Spot-Master 6000 disintegrates]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, this time you've done it, boy. What've you got to say for yourself?
  • SpongeBob: [shows Mr. Krabs the clean plate] The platter's all clean, Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'll clean your platter! [chases SpongeBob around the ruins of the restaurant] Come here, you!
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