Howard (to Raj): Is that any way to talk to your future husband?[first lines]

Penny: Hey, boys, .how's it going?
Sheldon: I thought we were having a nice conversation. but it turns out I was being offensive
Bernadette: So, normal, hm?

Sheldon: Well, I would prefer if people told me exactly what is on their mind.
Penny: No, no, you don't; you really don't. I can't actually say don't enough.

Bernadette: You know, I just read that a team at MIT developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
Leonard: And you think we can get those guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.
Bernadette: It's supposed to be accurate like eighty-five percent of the time.
Penny: Wow, I find that hard to believe.
Leonard: That a bunch of awkward scientists with no social skills would invent a machine to do it for them?
Penny Hofstadter: I take it back; I believe it.

[last lines]

Penny: So, did you wind up sending that machine back?
Sheldon: I did .Uh, I'm not even sure how accurate it was. I took it to the trains store; it said everyone was sad.
Bernadette: I finally got Halley to sleep.
Penny: You know, I just read a study that suggests new mothers are better at sensing emotions for up to two years.
Amy: It's true. Pregnancy causes physiological changes in the brain that result in increased empathy.
Penny: Oh, so all we need to do is get Sheldon knocked up.
Leonard: Can't. He was already fixed when I found him at the shelter.
Sheldon: Hey, uh, Bernadette, let's test this theory. What do you think I'm feeling right now?
Bernadette: Let's .see. You're better than us, a little bit sorry for us, but mostly glad you don't have to be us.
Sheldon: [to Howard] Keep filling this one with babies; she's good.