Amy: There was water everywhere. It was such a mess.
Leonard: That stinks. How long are you out of the apartment?
Amy: About five weeks.
Penny: Ugh, did you lose anything valuable.
Amy: Well, the pipe was over my closet so all my clothes are gone.
Penny: Oh, so nothing. Great. Do they know what caused it?
Amy: They didn’t say.
Leonard: Buildings that have a combination of copper and galvanized steel are susceptible to pinholes and corrosion caused by the mobility of ions in water. [Women glare at him.] Can’t have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did and not pick up a few things about plumbing.
Penny: Well, if you need a place to crash, you can stay with us.
Penny: Of course. You can stay in Leonard’s room and we’ll stay at my place.
Amy: You sure that’s not an inconvenience?
Penny: No. Not at all.
Leonard: And we live with Sheldon, so the word “inconvenience” has really lost all meaning.
Amy: So technically I’d be moving in with my boyfriend?
Penny: I guess so. I’d finally get to live alone with my husband.
Amy: Oh my, this is a big step.
Leonard: Yeah. For the two of us, it’s a step in the right direction.
Sheldon: [Everyone is grinning at Sheldon] Why are you all smiling like crazy people?
Sheldon: Cohabitation with my girlfriend? That’s a great deal to process. Hmm.
Penny: It’s only for five weeks. And we’ll be right across the hall.
Amy: What do you think?
Sheldon: I don’t know. What if living together kills the romance?
Penny: Okay, you guys only had sex only one whole time. Nothing can put a fire out like that.
Sheldon: Yeah, but what happens when he get a peek behind the curtain? I mean, she has never seen me unshaven.
Leonard: You just shaved yesterday. You’re good for three months.
Amy: Sheldon, I understand your apprehension, but let me appeal to the scientist in you. Given the five-week end date, isn’t this the perfect opportunity consider this an experiment and collect data on our compatibility?
Sheldon: Don’t try luring me in with “sexy talk”.
Leonard: Okay. Star Trek: the Original series. The Enterprise was on a five-year mission to explore new worlds. Think of this as your own personal five-week mission to do the same.
Sheldon: If you want to lure me in with “sexy talk”, that’s how you do it.
Penny: Don’t be that proud of that.
Amy: So is that a yes?
Sheldon: Not yet I…How will I learn if I’m comfortable with Amy or just comfortable because I’m in my own apartment? Now if this experiment is going to be valid, I suggest a neutral environment.
Penny: Well, where would you go?
Sheldon: Well, ideally an enclosed self-sustaining biodome in New Mexico. Where we would eat crops fertilized by our own wastes.
Leonard: And you were worried about the romance!
Penny: Wait. Why don’t you guys stay across the hall, and we live here?
Sheldon: Interesting. If my official residence is the hall, I wonder if I need to knock every time come over here?
Leonard: That’s a good question. Maybe just don’t come over.
Sheldon: Historically I don’t do well with change.
Penny: Okay, it won’t be that bad. We wouldn’t even sit in your spot while you’re gone.
Sheldon: You’re darn right, you won’t. No matter where I am this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.
Leonard: Just nod and smile. He’s almost gone.
Amy: Sheldon, what do you think?
Sheldon: [Sighs.] Very well, I’m on board.
Sheldon: Yes. I accept the five-week mission to share a living space with my girlfriend.
Amy: Oh, this is so exciting! [Amy hugs Sheldon.]
Sheldon: Well, now don’t be surprised, if like Star Trek, it is cancelled in three.
Bernadette: It would help if you would stop telling me that I have a textbook cervix.
Amy: You and I are going to be sharing a bed. You know, this is uncharted territory for both of us. How are you feeling about that?
Sheldon: Oh, excited, concerned, a little scared. All the small emotions I feel in the line at Space Mountain.
Amy: Well if you’re nervous about the sleeping arrangements, maybe we should talk about it.
Sheldon: Okay. Talk.
Amy: Well, I imagine one of your concerns might be coital expectations.
Sheldon: No foreplay or anything, just get right to it.
Amy: Look, I know this experiment is a big step outside of your comfort zone. So why don’t we take being physical off the table and maybe later once we’re more settled in it we can revisit it.
Sheldon: You’ll really okay with that?
Amy: I’ve never lived with anyone, either. This is a lot for me, too.
Sheldon: [sighs.] This is such a relief. Honestly, if it didn’t get you all worked up, I’d kiss you right now.
Amy: Good call. Seeing your Teen Titans underwear really got my motor running.
Sheldon: I know. They probably shouldn’t sell those to children.
Amy: Well, that’s it. For the next five-weeks we are officially living together.
Sheldon: I guess the experiment begin.
Penny: [Through the door.] We did it!
Leonard: [Through the door.] Yeah!
Sheldon: Which side of the bed would you prefer?
Amy: Doesn’t matter to me. Your choice.
Sheldon: No, no. We’re living together now. Everything’s equal. You know. I have a tendency to be controlling so I’d rather have you choose.
Amy: Well, Sheldon, I really appreciate that, but these things mean more to you so whatever you want.
Sheldon: Well, clearly it’s not whatever I want for what I want is for you to make this decision and you refuse to do that.
Amy: I am not refusing. I’m just trying to be considerate.
Sheldon: Like the time you got me those shoes with the wheels on the bottom then you watched me roll into traffic.
Amy: Sheldon, would you please pick a side.
Sheldon: Fine. [Sighs.] Okay on this side I am closer to the exit in case of emergency.
Amy: Great. That will be your side.
Sheldon: No, but know I am also closer to the entrance in case of attack.
Amy: Okay, I’ll take that side.
Sheldon: And again then the odds of somebody attacking me?
Amy: Rising rapidly.
Sheldon: Now this side offers me proximity to the bathroom, but I am closer to the window where perverts can watch me sleep.
Amy: Okay. What if we do this? [Closes drapes.]
Sheldon: I suppose that works.
Sheldon: Although, now I’m worried someone is hiding behind the drapes.
Sheldon: Okay, well, I’m sorry. I’m just worried about my sensitivity to temperature could make this a rough night. And no offense, but your bottom radiates enough heat, I’m surprised there are not iguanas lying on it.
Amy: I’m so sore. I don’t think I slept two minutes last night.
Penny:(smiles) Yeah! Get it, girl.
Amy: It’s not what you think.
Leonard: I feel like I pulled something. Why didn’t you tell me to stop?
Penny: Even more not what you think.
Amy: I don’t think I can make though five weeks of living with him.
Leonard: If you ever need a break, the owner of the train store will you let you leave him there while you get coffee.
Sheldon: Good morning, everybody. See. I didn’t knock, but its fine. I didn’t knock, but its fine. I didn’t knock, but its fine. So, how is everyone?
Amy: Miserable and exhausted.
Sheldon: Really? I slept great.
Amy: Well, I didn’t and it’s your fault.
Sheldon: How? You had the whole floor to yourself.
Amy: Maybe living together is a bad idea.
Sheldon: Well, yeah. But what kind of scientists would we be drawing a conclusion after only 12 hours of data.
Amy: The kind that almost put a pillow over your face last night.
Sheldon: Wow. I anticipated that we’d have problems, but I never thought your scientific rigor would be one of them.
Amy: I’m sorry, are you questioning my integrity as a scientist?
Sheldon: If the lab room disposable cover fits.
Penny: Was that a science diss?
Penny: Was it a good one?
Amy: What would a theoretical physicist understand an experiment anyway? I mean, you wouldn’t even know a confounding variable if two of them hit you in the face at the same time. And you don’t even get that joke because you don’t work with confounding variables.
Sheldon: How dare you!
Amy: Oh, you heard me. Your experimental bona fides are laughable.
Sheldon: Whoa, whoa. Now you’re making fun of my bona fides!
Amy: Can’t make fun of a null set.
Penny: I feel like I should say “Damn”.
Leonard: Do it.
Sheldon: Well, if you’re so protective of the scientific method, perhaps we should see the next five weeks through to finish what we started.
Amy: Well, for science, maybe I will.
Sheldon: For science, maybe you should.
Amy: Do you want to go to our place and make out?
Sheldon: Does Stephen Hawking roll though the quad? [They leave.]