Raj: No, you're pregnant. The only thing you're carrying is a better hope for tomorrow.
Amy: Here’s your tea.
Sheldon: Oh! Do not sneak up on a guy when he’s sitting on a log.
Sheldon: Well, should we check each other for ticks?
Amy: Sheldon, all we did was walk in from the car.
Sheldon: Oh, well suit yourself. (Sheldon drops his pants) Who wants to check me?
Amy: On the other hand, safety first.
Penny: Calm down. I’ll go first. All right let’s see. Never have I ever…
Amy: She’s trying to think of something she’s never done before. This could take a while.
Penny: Very funny. Okay. Never have I. Let’s just ever… Yeah, you know what circle back.
Leonard: Okay, I’ll go. Never have I ever been arrested.
Sheldon: So I drink.
Amy:’ No, only if you’ve done it.
Sheldon: Got it. (Sheldon drinks)
Amy: I can’t believe you’ve been arrested.
Sheldon: I can’t believe Penny hasn’t.
Penny: Sheldon, what did you do?
Sheldon: Well, I’m not proud of it, but I jaywalked.
Leonard: Oh no, it’s like a horror movie. We’re trapped in a cabin with a maniac.
Amy: I’m surprised you would do that.
Sheldon: I crossed in the middle of the street. And normally I wouldn’t, but I saw an aggressive –looking Girl Scout and it was the heart of cookie season. Anyway there was this police officer and he witnessed the whole thing.
Penny: What? He arrested you for that?
Sheldon: No, he didn’t do that. So I just said, "You just saw me jaywalk. Why didn’t you do your job?" You know. Maybe I should arrest you for impersonating a police officer.
Penny: And then you got arrested.
Sheldon: And how.
Howard: I feel like I just made a horrible mistake.
Howard: But on the other hand I didn’t kick him out of our lives. I just asked him to back off a little.
Howard: What? Are you gonna cry?
Bernadette: (crying) Yeah.
Howard: Is that baby hormones or really sad?
Bernadette: I can’t tell anymore!
Howard: I’ll go get him.
Bernadette: And bring back the bear!
Amy: My turn. Um.. Never have I ever completely rocked my girlfriend’s world in bed.
Amy: You know the rules. Drink.
Leonard: (clears throat)
Penny: Yeah, go ahead.
Leonard: That’s right.
Sheldon: All right, my turn. Mmm.. Oh, I know. Never have I ever kept a secret bank account, because I think my wife can’t handle money. Did I win? I feel like I won.
Penny: I can’t believe this. You realize I make more money than you?
Leonard: I don’t, I know, but this isn’t a big deal. It’s just a little savings a put aside.
Penny: We’re married. We’re supposed to share everything.
Leonard: What-you mean like your massive credit card debt? (an offended Penny storms out and slams the bedroom door)
Sheldon: I’m calling it. I won.
(Penny paces around the bedroom when Leonard comes in)
Leonard: Okay, you have every right to be mad. And what you said is true. You make more money than me. So I had no right to do what I did. And I’m so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.
Penny: How long have you had this secret account?
Leonard: A couple of years, but I just put a few bucks aside every month for emergencies.
Penny: Well, how much have you got in there?
Leonard: $6427. $47 once my nana’s birthday check gets here.
Penny: My God, Leonard, do you know what I could do with that kind of money?
Leonard: No, I do. And that’s why I hid it.
Penny: What good is it if you don’t use it?
Leonard: Uh, uh. You have shoes you love, but never wear. I have money I love, but never spend. We’re kind of a cute couple that way. Again, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kept it a secret.
Penny: Well I have a secret I’ve been keeping from you too.
Leonard: Is it a secret bank account? Because that would be awesome.
Penny: I hate my job.
Leonard: Really? Why?
Penny: Because I don’t feel good flirting with doctors for sales. I mean, I know I make a lot of money. But I haven’t been happy for a while.
Leonard: Why didn’t you tell me?
Penny: Because I know how important it is to you that I’m having some success.
Leonard: That’s not true.
Penny: Okay, really? So you’d be fine if I went back to acting and waiting tables again?
Leonard: If that’s what you want to do, yes.
Penny: Well, it’s not what I want to do.
Leonard: Oh, yes.
Penny: Doesn’t matter what I want. Look, this job is gonna get me out of debt. So I’m gonna do the grown-up thing and see it through.
Leonard: Well that is the grown-up thing.
Penny: I guess.
Leonard: I love you.
Penny: I love you too.
Leonard: You know, never have I made love in the forest when it was raining.
Penny: Well, I guess I’ve gotta drink. (Penny leaves for her wine glass)
Sheldon: Never have I ever pushed all the buttons in an elevator. (Amy drinks while Sheldon gasps)