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1 Honey, this was such a great idea Getting up early so we can have some quiet time together. - You're a jerk! - You're an idiot! All right, tomorrow we get up just a little bit earlier. Okay, what's going on, guys? I can't take it anymore! He snorts like a pig. - Oink oink oink! - Oh yeah? Well, you scream in your sleep. - [ screaming ] - oink oink oink! All right, enough! - We've got to have our own rooms. - Guys, we've been over this. - The house just isn't big enough. - Or is it? I made a diagram, see? New sleeping arrangements. Mom and dad go here. P. J. Takes this room. Teddy takes this one and I get this one. - Everybody's happy. - What about charlie? Oh, I forgot to mention In this plan Charlie lives with grandma. Gabe, would you just be patient? You're gonna get your own room in a couple of years When p. J. Goes off to coll Well, wherever it is that p. J. Goes off to. - Oh hi. - Oh look! There's our pretty girl. Hey, you got out of bed today. I just came up toet my breakfast. Honey, don't take the brown banana. Get the yellow one. Yellow's too happy a color. I can't believe she's still moping about her breakup with spencer. That was like two whole days ago. Give her a break, p. J. Spencer was teddy's first love. Yeah, I mean, you should understand. You get dumped all the time. - No, I don't! - Oh really? This year alone you've been dumped by alexa, Rebecca, jen Jen? I'm dating jen right now. Oh. I didn't give you that message?- Okay, everybody, we are off. - Where are you going? Oh, I joined this great new gym that offers free childcare. I get to work out while charlie plays. Great, honey. Hey, gabe, you gotta try the double glazed. You know, bob, they're offering a two-for-one special. That's really good to know. Why did we only get a dozen of these? [ doorbell rings ] Hi, mrs. Dabney. What's the problem? - Why would there be a problem? - Sorry, force of habit. I was wondering if anyone was available To help me move some junk into my garage. I'll do it! For 15 bucks an hour. I was thinking of another member Of the duncan family. Any other member. Sorry, but I'm on my way to the gym. I've got a whole list of chores I gotta do. I see the first thing on that list is "clean out donut box. " What about that baby? She looks pretty strong. Shall we? That's a twist this time I'm leaving with the problem. Teddy, come on. I know you're in there. No, I'm not! Okay, you're leaving me no choice. - [ whimpers ] - oh! What died in there? My heart. Yeah, I think the smell is coming from the outside of your body. When's the last time you took a shower? A shower's not going to wash away my pain. Okay, how about my pain? Come on, we gotta break you out of this funk. How about some music? No, I no, I already tried that. I listened to happy songs and they just made me Sad because those people were so happy [ crying ] and I'm so sad. Do you think you're the only person who's ever had their heart broken? Remember when emmett and I broke up? Oh, that's completely different. You dumped him. And He's emmett. Look, you gotta do something. - Ow! - You gotta brush your teeth, Then brush your hair. Then brush your teeth again, Because, girl, that breath is nasty! Ivy, you just don't understand what I'm going through. Nobody does. My boyfriend was dating another girl At the same time he was dating me. Okay. Well, you can either rejoin the world, Or crawl back under those covers for the rest of your life and be miserable. Thank you. Thank you. It smells a lot better now. There's some boxes in here too. Whoa, whose room is this? My son rodney. He lives in florida now. He's my pride and joy, the love of my life. - What about mr. Dabney? - Yep, love that rodney. This room is so cool. Oh, check out this bed! - It's moving! - It's a waterbed, dummy. [ giggling ] - It's like a water park. - The park's closed. Get off! Now quit your dilly-dallying and get that box off the foosball table. A foosball table? [ whimpers ] it's like I'm in heaven. Except you're here. All right, now come with me. We have to get some stuff out of mr. Dabney's room. You and mr. Dabney have separate rooms? My mom and dad don't. Check back with me after their 30th anniversary. Rodney, looks like you got yourself a roommate. What are you doing? I'm talking to rodney. Nobody talks to rodney but me. Come. Charlie, this is patricia. Oh, what an adorable child. Has she had her shots? Of course. Patricia's going to watch you while mommy Pumps the iron, feels the burn, Treads the mill. I am so glad to hear you say that. We here at flex appeal frown upon members who join the club Simply for the free childcare. - People do that? - Oh yes. And it burns my buns. Some of them don't even work out. They drop off their kids and go down the block to the new spa for massages and facials. That's terrible! Down the block, you say? Well, that's my flex appeal spiel. - Come on, charlie. - Charlie, go to patricia. - All right. Bye, sweetheart. - Enjoy. - Thanks, I will. - Bye. - Bye, sweetie. - We'll have fun. Man on tv: Even if we never see ea other again, I'll love you always. Liar! Oh, why won't the world just go away? Surprise. Now what do you want? Okay, first of all you can lose the 'tude. And second, I brought someone Who will help you out of your funk. Ta-da! - Who's she? - Oh, sorry.
- Teddy: What? Skyler? You brought over the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with? This is how you're helping me?
- Skyler: I thought you said we were going to go over to the mall? This is so not the mall.
Look, you said no one Understands what you're going through. She does! Now get to healing and whatnot.
- Teddy: How did you find her anyway? I'm going to ask you again, Spencer.
I want that girl's name and number and I want it now! I found her on the internet. I have nothing to say to her. And I have nothing to say to her. Look, you two are going to talk it out And make it all better. No one's leaving until then. - I really don't see how this is going to help. - Me either. - [both sobbing] - It hurts! It hurts so bad. Doesn't smell too good either. Finally running away from home, huh? Just remember, no matter how homesick you get, Just keep going. I'm not running away. Let's just say - I found a place of my own. - What's that supposed to mean? It means that I get a room and you get a room. And that's all I'm going to say. The less you know the better. Well, then you came to the right guy. So you're not going to say anything about this to mom and dad, right? I'm sorry, what? I was mentally rearranging my room. Okay, then, I guess this is goodbye. So long, little bro. See you at dinner. Oh, did spencer ever do that thing where he pretended to yawn - Just so he could put his arm around you? - Yeah! All the time. Hey, did he ever send you those "good night" texts? Yeah. "I. M. Y. "? - What's that supposed to mean? - "I miss you. " Oh-hhh! I thought it was "I made yogurt. " Well, did he talk a lot about yogurt? No, never. That's what confused me. It is a good thing you're pretty. You know, I have to admit it does kind Of feel good to talk all this stuff out. It really does. I don't feel so alone anymore. "thank you, ivy!" Somebody needed to say it. Oh, you know, I was so upset I actually wrote a poem about spencer. Really? I was so upset I wrote a song about him. Well, just the music. I couldn't come up with the The What are those things that you put into songs? - Lyrics? - No. The words that you sing. Oh my gosh. I have an idea. Oooh, I like that look in your eye. Why should we be miserable When we could make him miserable? Ivy's getting tingly. I don't understand what's happening. We're gonna get even. - With spencer. - Oh-hhh! Lyrics! That's what they're called. - Morning, dad. - Hi. Oh, man, I had a great night's sleep. You didn't fight with your brother? No, it was like he wasn't even there. I mean, he was there It just felt like he wasn't there. But he was there. What did you do to him? Nothing. Dad! Give me some credit. Maybe I'm finally growing up. Oooh, pancakes! Yummy num num! Morning, everybody. Why are you swaying? Guess I don't have my land legs yet. - What?! - Uh I had a dream I was on a boat. Which explains why you kept mumbling "ahoy, matey" in your sleep. Don't help me. Okay, ladies, Spencer walsh slap down, take one; Music by skyler; Lyrics by teddy; Produced, rected, choreographed By ivy renee wentz. How come you get your full name? Because I'm the director. Okay, we're feeling angry about spencer, On Action! [ ballad playing ] # I thought he was the ideal catch # he said we were a perfect match ♪ I thought we had a love so sweet ♪ until I found out he was ♪ a big old cheat! ♪ [ hip-hop music playing ] # hey, everybody # can you dig? ♪ spencer walsh is a two-timing pig ♪ a football player with big dreamy eyes ♪ but everything he said turns out to be lies ♪ now excuse me if this sounds like a dis ♪ but that fool don't even know how to kiss ♪ he was dating her while he was dating me ♪ now that big loser is history ♪ hey, everybody ♪ can you dig? ♪ spencer walsh is a two-timing pig! ♪ Ladies, that was perfect. Now just one more take and txis time I'll hit record. - Nice place you got here. - P. J. ! - How'd you find me? - I live next door. I watched you. Dude, this is awesome. - Is that a waterbed? - Oh yeah. - [ laughs ] - that was so cool! - Let me do you, ready? - Okay. Go for it. I thought that would be more fun. Dude, this is so sweet, man. You've got everything here waterbed, - Comic books - don't forget foosball. Oh. [ laughs ] it's like I'm in heaven. Except you're here. And what's in here, you might ask. My own bathroom. Your own bathroom. I don't even have to go, but I'm gonna force myself. Whoo! Hi, charlie! - Hey, baby. - Good workout today? Oh, it was great. Really pushed it to the limit. Oh, where exactly did you push it? Because I was in the workout room earlier and I didn't see you. Because I was at the pool. We don't have a pool. Okay, I'm talking about the pool of people who are waiting By the stair climber thingamajiggy. Uh-huh. You know, mrs. Duncan, When I add a "majiggy" to the end of a word It usually means I'm trying to hide something. - I don't know what you're talking about. - Oh? So if you'll excuse me, I'm late for a Very important thingamabob. Hey, ivy, call me when you get this. I just finished editing our music video And it looks amazing! I can't wait to upload it. This will ruin spencer. [ doorbell rings ] Oh, there's skyler. Talk to you later. Okay. Hi. Spencer, what are you doing here? - Can I come in? - I don't think that would be a good idea. Look, I need to talk to you. - There's nothing to say. - Yes, there is. I want you to know how sorry I am about what happened. I made a huge mistake. Hanging out with skyler was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Teddy, You're the one I want to be with. - Spencer, I - look! I know I don't deserve it, But is there any way you can forgive me? We can just start over? No, I can't. I just don't think I can trust you. I'm sorry. Me too. [ moans ] joining that gym up the street Is the smartest thing I've ever done. Oh, just go a little deeper on the glutes, I've got four kids. Oh yeah! That's the spot. Oh, lots of tension there. Charlie: Mamama. Hi, charlie. Charlie?! Your membership has been revoked. - Hi. - [ screams ] - What are you doing here? - I'm taking my turn in the cool room. - We're not taking turns. - Yes, we are. - And tonight is my turn. - Well, I'm not leaving. - Well, neither am I. - Well, neither am I. - Well, neither am I. - Well, neither am I. - Well, neither am I. - Well, neither am I! - Well, neither am I. - Well, neither am I. - Well, neither am I. - Well, neither am I. Well? I have absolutely no explanation for this. Hi, charlie. So, um I decided not to put the spencer video online. I mean, just because somebody hurts you doesn't mean you need to hurt them back. So do what I did. Find some friends to help you get through it. Oh, when we get done talking to your sister, Are we gonna put the spencer video online? Uh, no. That's kind of the whole point of what I just said. I don't get you. I mean, I don't get a lot of things, but I really don't get you. This is skyler. Isn't she pretty? Wish her good luck, charlie. I don't care what anybody says. No one's going to keep me out of this room. - Or me. - No! come-on, Charlie. We can all share! Yay! - Onoy? Drug? Can he can? - [Charlie] Oh-Oh.