Plankton: Spot? Spot? [looks under a can] Spot? Where are you, Spot? [whistles] Oh, there you are, boy! Come to me. Jump in my arms and give me your precious kisses.
[Spot crawls over to Plankton, who appears to have grown fatter. Spot rolls himself over and flops on top of Plankton. Plankton pulls himself off of Spot.]
Plankton: Good amoeba. You get a num-num.
[Spot eats the treat and swallows it.]
Karen: Plankton, have you been feeding Spot a lot of treats lately? [measures Spot with the measuring tape] He's looking bigger than usual.
Plankton: Karen! Not in front of the amoeba. Spot is fit as a fiddle.
[Spot burps in Plankton's face.]
Karen: All right, Doctor. If you say so.
Plankton: Come on, I'll prove it.
[The scene changes to Plankton hooking Spot to the analyzer.]
Plankton: Now you'll see how healthy my little Spotty-wotty is.
[Plankton pulls down an x-ray and sees multiple baby amoeba puppies barking. The x-ray then reads, "100% for sure pregnant."]
Plankton: Wha—pregnant? Ah, that can't be right. I thought he was a boy.
Karen: I'm not sure it matters for amoebas. Food-rich environments cause amoebas to reproduce, and you've clearly provided a food-rich environment. [pets Spot as he whines] Who's gonna be a mama? Good boy!
Plankton: We're not ready to have puppies, Karen! This is all happening a little too fast. [grabs a spray bottle and sprays everywhere] We have to set up a state-of-the-art delivery room, sanitize everything, baby-proof the Chum Bucket—wait. Where's Spot?
[Spot is in the closet, whining in the inside. Moments later, green slime comes spewing out from under the door.]
Plankton: What the...
[Plankton scoops up some slime and sees tiny little amoeba puppies.]
[Karen opens the closet door and Spot comes out in his normal size.]
Plankton: You did it, boy! Oh, I'm so glad you're okay. [Spot licks him] Wait. Is that my good dinner jacket? [Spot barks]
Karen:[scoops up some of Spot's puppies and some slime] Oh, who cares about a dinner jacket? [rubs the slime and Spot's puppies all over her screen] Aw, look at the little puppies!
Plankton: Yeesh. Calm down, Karen. You don't want to blow out your motherboard.
Karen: Oh, I'm gonna name you Steven and Karen and Clayton and Vincent and—cute overload.
[Karen's computer head spins rapidly, short circuits and blows out. Then her screen goes into rebooting.]
Plankton: Oh, sure, you take a couple of hours to reboot, Karen. It's fine. I'll just manage all these puppies all on my own!
[The puppies bark and lick at each other. They form into a huge blob of slime and eat a stool. Then they jump on the monitor and eat it.]
Plankton: Hey! Get down from there! Stop that! My furniture!
[The puppies eat the beakers and the chemicals vaporize the table.]
Plankton: My experiments! Bad amoebas! Bad! [Spot barks] I don't get it, Karen. Spot is so well behaved, but the puppies don't listen to me at all. I think we need to get rid of them.
[Karen continues to reboot herself.]
Plankton: Yeah, I know what you would say. [imitates Karen] "Don't you vaporize those puppies, Plankton."
[Karen continues to reboot herself.]
Plankton: Fine! If you insist, I'll find a non-vaporizing way to get rid of them. Jeez!
[The scene changes to SpongeBob skipping down the road, creating bubble shapes with his bubble wand along the way.]
SpongeBob: ♪La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la—♪ [stops] Huh? [his bubble wand makes a question mark bubble and sees Plankton making a sign] "Free amoeba puppies?" Oh, hey, Plankton. What's with the sign?
Plankton: I fed Spot too much, and he had puppies. You want a few thousand? [jumps down] They're free with an order of chum.
SpongeBob:[gags] No thank you, Plankton. I, uh, already ate. But I can help you get your puppies adopted. I did get Patrick into a good home.
[Patrick is seen with Mr. Krabs on a leash and acts like a dog as he sniffs a fire hydrant.]
Mr. Krabs: You sure this is a guard dog, SpongeBob?
[Patrick lifts his leg up as if he is about to pee. The scene changes to SpongeBob and Plankton going to the Barg'N-Mart where two girl scout kids are selling cookies.]
Girl Scout: Would you like to purchase—
Plankton:[lifts the table away] This is our corner now!
[The girls cry and run away.]
SpongeBob: Now, Plankton, just politely offer people free puppies, and they'll all be adopted in no time.
Plankton:[to Thaddeus] You there! I demand you take an amoeba puppy!
[Plankton grabs one of the puppies. The amoeba puppy appears to be very small.]
Thaddeus: But that doesn't look like a puppy to me. More like a speck of dirt.
Plankton: These are purebred amoebas, swine! [pulls out a ray gun and shots rapidly at Thaddeus as he runs; a lady walks out of the store] Take this puppy or I'll destroy you!
[The lady screams and runs away.]
SpongeBob:[holds out his eye] Maybe if people could see how cute these puppies are, [puts his eye back in his head] they'd be more interested in taking 'em.
[SpongeBob grabs some of the slime and begins to mold it.]
Plankton: Wait, what are you doing?
[SpongeBob molds the slime into different shapes like an accordion and a ball. Then the slime becomes the amoeba puppy that's just the right size.]
Plankton: I can't believe that actually worked.
Dave: Say, that's a fine-looking amoeba.
SpongeBob: Thanks! You want him? He's free to a good home.
Dave:[the puppy leaps into his arms] Whoo! [gets licked by the puppy and runs off]
Mrs. Puff: Do you have another amoeba? They are too adorable.
Plankton: Smoosh up some more puppies, SpongeBob. We are in business!
SpongeBob: I'm smooshin'! I'm smooshin'!
[SpongeBob takes the box full of amoebas and slime and dumps them onto his body. Then he absorbs them and smooshes them up for a bit. Then he spouts out some more amoeba puppies and gives them to the customers. The amoeba puppies bark.]
[The scene changes to Mrs. Puff's house.]
Mrs. Puff: Don't be sad, Matilda. Mommy has to go to her arraignment, but she'll be back soon. [blows kisses her puppy and leaves]
[The puppy scratches the door as it whines. Suddenly, the puppy rips some wallpaper off the wall and knocks over some stuff. It jumps onto some shelves and breaks some of Mrs. Puff's valuable items, as well as ripping a hole in the wall. Then it opens a jewelry box, swallows a necklace and jumps out the window. Meanwhile at the Chum Bucket, an amoeba puppy runs up to the front door and happily jumps up and down as it barks.]
Plankton: Puppy? You came back?
[The puppy jumps into Plankton's arms and licks him.]
Plankton:[notices the necklace] Did you take this from your new owner? That is rude, puppy! Very, very rude! [notices all the puppies with stuff they stole in their bodies] Wait, you all took something...and brought it back to me? Hmm... [grins evilly as he got an idea] I don't need any of this junk.
[Plankton pulls out the necklace from the puppy's body. He claps his hands and the puppies spit out various stuff.]
Plankton: But perhaps there is something you can do for me, [throws away the stuff] like the Krabby Patty secret formula? [cackles and coughs] Anyone happen to steal a throat lozenge? No? Okay. Come on, pups! We've got some training to do— [stops and sees a motionless Karen still rebooting herself with the stuff piled on her] Still rebooting, huh?
[The puppies run up and chew up all of the stuff they stole off of Karen.]
Plankton: I might need someone to help train these amoebas.
[The puppies are chewing up all over the place. The scene changes to SpongeBob and Plankton.]
SpongeBob: I'm glad you called me, Plankton. I am the best pet trainer in all of Bikini Bottom. [pulls up his pants] Why, Patrick is already housebroken.
[At the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs is cleaning up the mess Patrick made on the rug.]
Mr. Krabs:[grumbling] Oh, yeah, he'll just use the litter box. [sprays Patrick in the face] Bad Patrick. [Patrick whimpers] Bad Patrick Star.
SpongeBob: To train a puppy, one must think like a puppy. [morphs into an amoeba puppy and barks]
[The scene changes to SpongeBob, who is still morphed into an amoeba puppy, providing a class session for the amoeba puppies.]
SpongeBob: Woof, woof, woof! [sits down]
[The puppies sit down like SpongeBob did. The scene changes to Plankton unlocking a door.]
Plankton: Voilà! Eh?
[The puppy liquefies itself and flies through the keyhole. Then it opens the door behind it. The scene changes back to SpongeBob with the other puppies.]
[The puppies stack up together and SpongeBob goes on top.]
SpongeBob: Woof, woof, woof!
[The scene changes to Plankton activating a hand bomb and throws it for the puppy to catch. The puppy comes back and places it down. Plankton screams as he drops the other hand bomb. The two hand bombs collide and explode, leaving Plankton charred. The scene changes back to SpongeBob and Plankton.]
Plankton: Well, SpongeBob, after several grueling hours of training, the puppies are ready. Allow me to introduce them. [pushes button and reveals a puppy with hand bombs strapped in itself] There's Demolitions Puppy.
[The puppy activated the hand bomb, swallows it, and it explodes inside its body.]
Plankton: Acrobat Puppy.
[The puppy with a yellow shirt and red stars flips over with spiky steel cleats.]
Plankton: Identical Twin Puppies.
[The two puppies, with pink shirts, multiply into two.]
Plankton: And of course, Comic Relief Puppy.
[The puppy, with a clown suit, sprays itself with the flower.]
SpongeBob:[becoming suspicious] Hey, is this another plan to steal the secret formula?
Plankton: Of course it is, and there's nothing you can do about it! [laughs and pushes the button]
SpongeBob: Huh? [gets lifted] Whoa! [screams as he is thrown in a cage] You'll never get away with this, Plankton!
Plankton: Oh, but I will get away with this, Plankton! I mean, SpongeBob. Allow me to explain.
[As he explains, the puppies make their way to the Krusty Krab.]
Plankton: First, we'll need a distraction inside the Krusty Krab. That's where the Identical Twin Puppies come into play.
[One of the Identical Twin Puppies jumps onto the table and barks happily.]
Frankie Billy: Aww, I want one. It's so—
[The customers murmur in awe. Then the other Identical Twin Puppy barks at the other table. The customers look at the puppy in affection. The other puppy jumps at another table and the customers follow it, back and forth. Mr. Krabs and Squidward shrug their shoulders as they have no clue what is going on.]
Plankton: Free from Krabs' watchful eye, Acrobat Puppy can begin his infiltration.
[The Acrobat Puppy liquefies itself into the air vent and makes its way into Mr. Krabs' office. While Patrick is sleeping, the Acrobat Puppy sneaks by quietly and gets to the window.]
Plankton: Once Acrobat Puppy gets inside Krabs' office, he'll open the window for Demolitions Puppy.
[The Acrobat Puppy opens the window and the Demolitions Puppy jumps in and hops onto the safe.]
Plankton: Then, Demolitions Puppy will blow the safe wide open.
[The Demolitions Puppy draws a circle around the safe and puts a bomb on it. The Acrobat Puppy pushes the button and the bomb explodes, opening the safe. Then, the Demolitions Puppy grabs the formula and hops off the safe.]
Plankton: With the safe open, the formula is mine! And finally, just for fun, Comic Relief Puppy adds a dollop of humor.
[The Comic Relief Puppy sprays water in SpongeBob's eyes and pies itself with a pie.]
SpongeBob: That's never gonna work.
Plankton:[laughs] But it already has! [notices the puppies with the formula] What do you think the puppies have been doing all this time? Now to open my prize! [struggles to open the bottle]
[Things start to look bleak for SpongeBob as if Plankton has finally won. However, when he notices Karen rebooting herself, he gets a idea. He takes out his right eye, throws it and knocks over Karen.]
Plankton: Karen! Baby! [runs over to her and tries to lift her up]
[SpongeBob whistles and the puppies remove their clothes.]
SpongeBob:[morphs into an amoeba puppy] Woof, woof, ruff, ruff, woof, woof!
[The puppies stack themselves up and push the lever up. The cage opens.]
SpongeBob:[hops out and changes back] Woof, woof!
[SpongeBob runs over to Plankton as he gets Karen back up.]
SpongeBob: Plankton! Won't you ever learn? You're never gonna get the formula!
Plankton: Come on, SpongeBob. Maybe we can work something out! I'll give ya 10% of my patty profits. Huh?
SpongeBob: Sorry, Plankton. You leave me no choice. [dumps amoeba treats on top of Plankton]
[The puppies run over and start eating all of the treats. As they eat, they grow larger and start to expand. The Chum Bucket explodes as the puppies' growth overloads the restaurant. The puppies fly back down and drops the formula. The bottle rolls back to the Krusty Krab, where Patrick and Mr. Krabs are standing outside. Patrick finds the formula and picks it up.]
Patrick: I believe this is yours.
Mr. Krabs: Hey! Good boy, Patrick! You get a treat!
[Mr. Krabs feeds Patrick a bone and gets licked by him.]
Mr. Krabs: Okay. No, wait! I—Get offa me! What are you—
[The Chum Bucket is completely destroyed and Karen finishes rebooting herself.]
Karen: Reboot...complete. Oh! Oh! Oh ha! More puppies? For me?! Oh, Sheldon, I couldn't be happier! [laughing]
[Karen grabs some of the slime with the amoeba puppies and smooshes it into a really large puppy.]
Plankton: Wait, puppy. Whoa, puppy! [gets crushed by the large puppy] Ooh! Cute...overload! Aah!