Transcripts Wiki

Opening

  • (In the opening cinematic, the supervillain Mysterio is robbing a museum)
  • Mysterio: Ahh, the Tablet of Order and Chaos. Selling you to the black market is gonna make me a mint.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Good, you could use a mint. Ugh, I can smell your breath from here.
  • Mysterio: (shouts) Spider-Man?!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Wait, how would you eat a mint through that fishbowl?
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Hey bubble-head. Think fast!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Whoa. What was that?
  • Mysterio: (Laughs)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Okay. Can somebody tell me what's going on here?
  • Madame Web: Spider-Man. You are needed.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Madame Web?
  • Madame Web: The tablet of Order and Chaos is the most powerful of all mystic artifacts of the world. And you shattered it.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Yeah, sorry about that.
  • Madame Web: The pieces of the fragment across other dimensions. Dimensions that are strange reflections of our past. Unlike ours. A place as a day out of seek and a distant future. Which may or may not come to us.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: (when seeing all of his various incarnations) Is that a... cartoon pig?
  • Madame Web: Focus. I require your help. Use and the help of all three other Spider-Men. The heroes into who's realities. The tablets fell.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Whoa. Slow down. Other realities? Other mes?
  • Madame Web: Yes. I've have explained our dire situation to help may will be your allies as this quest.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: But, I'm not the most charming, right?
  • Madame Web: You must gather all the pieces of the tablet. Before the fall it to the wrong hands or our reality as well as theirs. Will be alternately destroyed.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Yeah. Right. No pressure.

Tutorial

  • Amazing Spider-Man: Let's get started. These neighborhoods aren't gonna friendly themselves.
  • Madame Web: If you follow my instructions. I will assist you with finding the fragment now.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Who am I to refuse a lovely lady. Lead on, MW.
  • Madame Web: Alright. You will need to reach that lair. Which to begin your quest.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Wait this quest involves jumping?
  • Madame Web: You will need to get higher than that.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Keep your cloak on, M-Dubs, what was just a warm up.
  • Madame Web: And now, scale the wall with your unique adhesive abilities.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Uh, I believe the technical term is "stick 'em powers". Yep. I'm crawling the wall.
  • Madame Web: I am augmenting your Spider-Sense. Now, instead of just detecting danger, you have the added the abilities of seeing through objects, locating enemies, and discovering structural weakness in your environment.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Coooooool!
  • Madame Web: I will bestow it upon other Spider-Men as well. Don't let weak structures or other obstacles block your path. Use your webbing to pull that wall down!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Hey, look what I found.
  • Madame Web: Excellent work. A job well begun is half done! Now to another Spider-Man! And to bestow to different gift upon him.
  • (At Ultimate Spider-Man's time)
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: The Black Suit? What am I doing in the BLACK SUIT!? I hate this thing!
  • Madame Web: Stay calm, young Peter. This suit has extra abilities you will need in your quest.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Like what tryin' to take over my body!?
  • Madame Web: I said stay calm! My psychic powers will keep it from overwhelming you.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Yeah? Well, I hope you kept the receipt.
  • Madame Web: Now, that's retrieve the next fragment! Split spot!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Did you says split-spot?
  • Madame Web: First, with your ability to Web Zip, you can travel quickly from perch point. Try it now. Occasionally, in order to reach distant perch points, you will have to jump towards them and web-zip in mid-air.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Uh-huh. Talk about a leap of faith!
  • Madame Web: And you can across narrow walkways such as this one without fear of falling, due to your natural agility and powers of adhesion.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: They're called "Stick'Em Powers". Did one of the other me's make that joke already?
  • Madame Web: Yes. And it was no funnier then. The fragment is at the end of the corrider. Can you swing across to it?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Can I? Lady, it's my trademark. I gotta admit, the suit does seem fairly under control. And I feel stronger... faster! Maybe this'll work out after all... fingers crossed! They're all gonna be this easy to find, right?
  • Madame Web: No.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Son of a...
  • Madame Web: But now, I must turn my consciousness to the future! And to...
  • (At Spider-Man 2099's time)
  • Madame Web: ...Miguel O'Hara, Spider-Man of the year 2099.
  • Spider-Man 2099: That's me. Ready to save the universe and lookin' good while doing it.
  • Madame Web: The next fragment is close. Just ahead, in fact!
  • Spider-Man 2099: I'm on it. Gotta watch out, though. This area's property of the Alchemax corporation and that means the Public Eye'll be everywhere.
  • Madame Web: And what, pray tell, is a Public Eye?
  • Spider-Man 2099: Not a what, a who. The police force owned by Alchemax. And I'm not sure which is more corrupt! Speak of the devil. Here comes the Public Eye now!
  • Madame Web: Many enemies will try to stop you from collecting fragments. You must defeat them in combat!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Tell me about it! I tried to defeat them in cards once. Didn't go so good.
  • Madame Web: This one looks easy! Try a light attack.
  • Guard: You're not getting away!
  • Madame Web: Here comes another! Perhaps something stronger? Impressive! With your strength, you can possibly even knock enemies into the air!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Sure can. Wanna see? You must never miss an opportunity to subdue an enemy - even in the air!
  • Madame Web: Try to hit him while he's airbone! Perform a combo!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Now this just over kill. And yet... SO COOL.
  • Madame Web: Now try to grab your enemy.
  • Guard: Spider-Man!
  • Spider-Man 2099: C'mere you!
  • Madame Web: Ha! He can't escape now! Strike him down!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Oh, no! I didn't mean to- Make him disappear?
  • Madame Web: You didn't! I have saved him from peril and transported him to safety to a dimensional rift caused by the Tablet. But please, try not to be cavalier next time.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Good to know you got my back! Guess I'll just worry about my front.
  • Madame Web: Beware, Spider-Man - here come the last three! Take them out how so ever you choose... make it good!
  • Spider-Man 2099: You are one bloodthirsty old chick. I like it! Ahh... that was a good warm-up. So when do I get a real challenge?
  • Madame Web: I fear it will be sooner tan you think! And finally, I turn my attention from the future to a world set in the past...
  • (At Spider-Man Noir's time)
  • Spider-Man Noir: Say your prayers, punks - here comes the Spider-Man. Whadda we got here?
  • Madame Web: Looks like criminal forces in this world have already found one of the fragments! They've taken over the station.
  • Spider-Man Noir: And this used to be such a nice place.
  • Madame Web: Use the shadows to your advantage. See if you can subdue these opponents silently - with stealth attacks.
  • Spider-Man Noir: You read my mind, sister.
  • Madame Web: Yes. That's what I do.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Those typewriters they're slinging are no joke. Won't last long if they open up on me.
  • Madame Web: Agreed. If an enemy spots you, it is imperative to defeat him quickly or retreat, either into the shadows or high above. I have gifted you the new web-swinging powers - they will be useful in the respect.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Oh, I like this! Thanks for the enhanced powers, lady. The webs normally just kinda splatter everywhere.
  • Madame Web: Use your Spider-Sense to locate the fragment! There! Through that gate! Teh fragment is close! I feel its presence!
  • Spider-Man Noir: And that's the end of that!

Act 1

  • Narrator: No, Spidey, it's just the beginning! Across many dimensions, these four, fearless Spider-Men, in all their various incarnations must fight to reasonable the Tablet of Order and Chaos! Not just for the sake of their own worlds, but for the fate of every world in every dimension! Good luck, web-slingers! We're all counting on you!
  • (At Amazing Spider-Man's time)
  • Madame Web: You've recovered the first quarter of the Tablet. Excellent.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: I've always good at scavenger hunts.
  • Madame Web: Like moths to a flame, those with evil hearts will be drawn to the unleashed power of the Tablet, gaining new and frightening powers. So far, you have been fortunate that none of them have fallen into enemy hands.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Why'd you have to go and say that, man? Man, what a jinx!
  • Mysterio: Bah! Useless hunk of nothing... Wait! What's this? Ahhh, yes! Power! This is what real power feels like! No more parlor tricks and sleight of hand! Mysterio is now the master of REAL MAGIC! And this is just the beginning! (Laughing)

Kraven

  • Amazing Spider-Man: Whattya know! I swing around long enough, and my new upgraded Spider-Sense points me towards a fragment! Definitely sensing something from inside the, uhhh... jungle room? Hey, look at that! If it isn't Mr. Tablet Fragment. Right there waiting for me to grab it. Which can only one thing: IT'S. A. TRAP! Gotcha! That wasn't so bad, actually. Oh COME ON!
  • Kraven the Hunter: Rest now, my prey. Save your strength. For when you awake, we begin... THE HUNT! (Laughs)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Unnnhhh... Kraven! That maniac. Where has he taken me this time? What horrible death trap will I have to overco... Hey! This is a pretty nice view, actually.
  • Kraven the Hunter: Welcome, Spider-Man! Welcome to the jungle! This rock - it holds great power, no? I could use it to crush you... like a bug.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: That wouldn't be very sporting of you, wouldn't it?
  • Kraven the Hunter: Ah, you speak a great truth! Let it be your prize then - if you can survive my gauntlet! Your powers against my skills, your brain against mine. Come! Enter my game of death! Clam your trophy - if you dare! Hurry! Hurry!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: So you want me to run through the jungle? Should I not look back?
  • Kraven: Do not mock me, Spider-Man!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Wow. You're awfully touchy for a guy who wears leopard print paints.
  • Kraven the Hunter: Come to me, my friend! Hurry! Hurry! Do not delay! Come, come! We have only scratched the surface!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Seeing you so excited is creeping me out.
  • Kraven the Hunter: Yes, there is much for you to experience here. Traps, Long range weapons. And of course, hand-to-hand combat.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: How cute. You put together your own boy band!
  • Kraven the Hunter: My disciples. They have come to study at the foot of the master. To learn the art of the hunt - from the greatest hunter of all!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: And the most modest.
  • Kraven the Hunter: You dare mock me front of my students!?
  • Amazing Spider-Man: No... in front of your boy band.
  • Kraven the Hunter: Men! Remember what I have taught you. Strike hard. Strike fast... and show no mercy!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Yeah! Let's see if you've got what it takes. Here's something for you.
  • Kraven the Hunter: It seems my men have not proved much of a challenge for you.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Are you kidding me? Those guys were brutal. I barely survived!
  • Kraven the Hunter: Really?
  • Amazing Spider-Man: No. I creamed 'em.
  • Kraven Henchman: For Kraven!
  • Kraven Henchman 2: For the thrill of the hunt!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Hey, you talk him, too! Lion's head vests for Everyone!
  • Madame Web: Activate evasion is crucial. When being attacked, roll out of the way!
  • Kraven the Hunter: Come! The jungle still holds many surprises.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: I'm sorry. Were you saying something?
  • Kraven the Hunter: Wait for him to come with range. When you the shot... take it! Do you not feel it, now? The blood pounding in your veins? The thrill that rouses the hair on your neck, that makes a drumbeat of your heart?
  • Amazing Spider-Man: I did feel that I thought bought it was something I ate. Try a Web Strike on this one! Spider-Sense! Fiery spear! Point taken. Another boy band! Are you guys gonna sing for me? If I know Kraven, this place 'll be loaded with traps. Gotta stay alert! Yikes! Don't think it's gonna work. Hmm, gonna have to find another way. Oh COME ON! Sorry, I'm allergic to bullets. They ruin my complexion!
  • Kraven the Hunter: Bah! You cannot dodge forever!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Let me guess - two men either, one men leaves. Am I right? Wow! Love your headdress. Is that from the Skull Collection? May I suggest an accoutrement? Perhaps something from the Webbing Collection? Ha! Classic.
  • Kraven the Hunter: Still he lives. I thought I taught you better than that! KRA-VEN! KRA-VEN! KRA-VEN! I promised to show you are a true hunt. I promised you a victory... and I am a man of my word! And now... The endgame!
  • Madame Web: He's blinding by the thrill of the hunt! Wait for him to longe, then strike!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Lights out, Kraven! This hunt is over! And as the victor, I command you to leave!
  • Kraven the Hunter: My men abandoned me because of you! You made a mockery of my teachings.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: It wasn't so much a mockery' as a complete shambles.
  • Kraven the Hunter: I have failed... and now I have nothing left. No dignity. No honor!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Sergei. Don't do something you're gonna regret.
  • Kraven the Hunter: Nothing to stop me from using THIS!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Great, you did something I'll regret.
  • Kraven the Hunter: (Laughs)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Whoa! Where'd he-
  • Kraven the Hunter: Right behind you. Ah! Such power! I have the speed of the tiger! The strength of the lion! And like the great cats... I shall play with my prey! No witnesses. No distractions. Here. Now! It ends!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: For once, you and I are in total agreement.
  • Madame Web: He's too fast! Wait for him to prepare his attack! Try throwing his weapon back at him! Excellent, Spider-Man! You've done it!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: And just in time. If I never hear the word "hunt" again, it'll be too soon.
  • Madame Web: Now to the other fragments.. The hunt resumes!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: (Groans)

Hammerhead

  • (At Spider-Man Noir's time)
  • Spider-Man Noir: Night of the waterfront. On the docks, rats scurry about their grim business... A tip from Felicia Hardy brought me here. Looks like she was on to something.
  • Ox: Whoa, it's slippin?!
  • Montana: Hey! Look at this!
  • Robber: It's just a hunka rock? What's all the extra protection for?
  • Hammerhead: The Goblin payin' you to ask questions now?
  • Ox: N-no, Hammerhead -
  • Hammerhead: Then shaddap. Goblin sez the Spider's comin' after the Tablet and he wants all measures taken to stop him gettin' it.
  • Spider-Man Noir: I'm flattered.
  • Hammerhead: Now load in before lose my cool.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Oh, you're gonna lose your cool, all right...
  • Ox: It's him!
  • Montana: The Spider-Man!
  • Hammerhead: Then stop gawkin' and start throwin' lead!
  • Ox: I think we lost him!
  • Hammerhead: Keep on eyes peeled. You see somethin' shoot first and ask questions never. We're not takin' any chances' read me?
  • Ox: Loud and clear, boss.
  • Montana: Welcome, boss! We got everything set up for ya...
  • Hammerhead: Save it, Montana. No time for gab. I got a real important delivery for Mister Osborn.
  • Spider-Man Noir: That's right, Hammerhead. And I'm gonna follow you right to him. Too many Tommy guns for my taste. Better hug for the shadows for now - less I wanna get filled fulla holes.
  • Hammerhead: Montana, you're with me. We got business to discuss.
  • Montana: Right, boss.
  • Hammerhead: You and you, watch my back while we're on the move. Savvy?
  • Both: Right, boss.
  • Hammerhead: And Ox -
  • Ox: Yes, boss?
  • Hammerhead: Stand there and look stupid. From what I can see, you're had a lot of practice. All right, ya mutts, listen up! Osborn wants us to be ready for anything. And Mr. Osborn always knows what's best, doesn't he fellas?
  • Guy: (Mummers of Confused Assent)
  • Hammerhead: Yeah, that's right. So let's get to it.
  • Ox: So where'd you get that hunk o'l clock?
  • Montana: Jersey. Fella outta the sky in an explosion of light, lands in Grover's Mill.
  • Ox: Osborn hears about it from of our boys there, send me out to fetch it.
  • Montana: You don't sound so happy.
  • Ox: No? Listen to my voice. I'm thrilled.
  • Montana: The boss tells me to do something, I do it. I ask him my option, he tells me. He wants me to be his little errand boy... I'll deliver.
  • Ox: He's got Osborn pulling his strings. I've got a floating-head lady.
  • Montana: I'm starting to wonder which of us is more of a puppet...
  • Heammerhead: You can't get away with this, you, you... scum!
  • Montana: Yeah? How's your kneecap? In good shape? Eh? Wanna keep 'em that way?
  • Ox: Don't ever talk to me like that again.
  • Hammerhead: You know the drill. You see the Spider, you ice that jerk.
  • Montana: Right, boss.
  • Ox: So, Osborn...
  • Hammerhead: Osborn's workin' my last nerve. He's got me, Vulture, all of our bosses collection these fragments - runnin' errands for him like baq guys.
  • Montana: I'll tell ya through. If Osborn thinks he's the only one who can appreciate the power of this thing, he's not as sharp as he think he is.
  • Hammerhead: You gonna keep it for yourself?
  • Ox: I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. Don't worry about it.
  • Montana: And what about Spider-Man?
  • Hammerhead: (Chuckles)
  • Ox: Ehhh... what's so funny?
  • Hammerhead: You leave the Spider-Man to me. He's not as sharp as he thinks he is either.
  • Montana: I recent that.
  • Madame Web: You must eliminate all your enemies to proceed!
  • Hammerhead: Don't tell me you haven't kill him yet.
  • Ox: He - he's been tearing the place apart. Freeing the hostages, ripping the gates up, Knocking out the guys.
  • Hammerhead: That so?
  • Ox: Holy --
  • Hammerhead: Tell him not to tell me. All right now. Time to step it up. Spider! You out there? You hear me? Hear this: it's war now. After tonight, you're gonna need a pellbearer - and I'll be at your service! You two stay put. He'll be coming through here after me. Your job is to stop him.
  • Spider-Man Noir: And if you don't - you'll wing up like that jerk. Believe it.
  • Hammerhead: Wh-where are you going?
  • Ox: Me? I gotta put something together for when he gets past you guys.
  • Hammerhead: Not that. I don't have total faith in you... but I don't.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Thanks for the vote o'l confidence. Yeah! Thanks, Hammerhead. Go climb up your thumb. Sorry, fellas. I'm about to prove him right.
  • Montana: Whoa?! Where'd everybody go?! Eh, this doesn't look good!
  • Hammerhead: You think you can take me? Come on and have a go if you think you're hard enough! Hey, Spider. Wanna go a few rounds? Trust me -- it'll only take one.
  • Madame Web: Find cover! Avoid the spotlight, Spider-Man! If you hide in the shadows, perhaps he cannot track you!
  • Hammerhead: No more... please... please... I give, I give.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Had enough, huh? Now, hand over that ro-
  • Hammerhead: Sucker.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Arrh... cheap shot!
  • Ox: Phew!You see that puss Hammerhead was sportin'?
  • Montana: I ain't seen him that mad since he caught Snake Marston pulling his contortionist act with Janice Foswell.
  • Mugger: Look out. It's that insect guy. Hey. How'd we losed that web head? I don't see him anywhere.
  • Hammerhead: And along comes the Spider. I had feeling you'd make short work'a those other jerks. This might be a little more difficult for ya. Five of my best trigger-men. Five hostages. And you're such a bleedin' heart, you'll wanna rescue'em, won'tcha? Heh heh. Good luck. My boys spot ya - even for a second - and you'll wake up in hell.
  • Spider-Man Noir: You're a pip, Hammerhead.
  • Hammerhead: Sayonara, creep. Heh heh heh heh.
  • Spider-Man Noir: The floating head lady sure walked me into it this time! Gotta grab the shadows and make my play... take these palookas down one by one.
  • Hammerhead: You want this, tough guy? Come an' take it. Just you and me, mano a mano.
  • Spider-Man Noir: That suits me fine.
  • Hammerhead: You idiots! I want this done. Bring in the big gun!
  • Spider-Man Noir: More guns? Oh, he means this guy. Sharp outfit. What are you supposed to be? The strong, silent type. Gotcha. And you say that was your best guy? What else ya got?
  • Mugger: Nuts to this! Let's beat it!
  • Mugger 2: Right behind ya!
  • Spider-Man Noir: Yeah, run away.
  • Hammerhead: You idiots! You're all worthless!
  • Spider-Man Noir: I'm coming for you, Hammerhead! Time for that, "mano a mano" we talked about earlier.
  • Hammerhead: I shoulda used this rock sooner! First, I'll get rid of you. Then, I'll get rid of Osborn! I'll OWN this town! Ready for a real fight, tough guy?
  • Spider-Man Noir: Mister - I was made for it.
  • Madame Web: Thank you, Spider-Man. The "floating head lady" appreciates your assistance.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Heh... yeah, uh... sorry about that.

HobGoblin

  • (At Spider-Man 2099's time)
  • Spider-Man 2099: This new "spider-sense" is a trip... Either I'm not used to it yet, or I'm sensing one of the fragments... closing in on me? No... I was right. Well, at least I found it!
  • Hogoblin 2099: Ah, ah, ah, Spidey! Don't fade on me yet!
  • Spider-Man 2099: What are you supposed to be? A demonic kumquat?
  • Hobgoblin 2099: You can call me... the Hobgoblin! Every Spider-Man needs one.
  • Spider-Man 2099: News flash, "Hobbie" - you're not my frist Goblin.
  • Hobgoblin 2099: Ah! But this Goblin has one thing the others never had -
  • Spider-Man 2099: The fragment?!
  • Hobgoblin 2099: Yes! And its power, I'm going to tear this world apart! (Laughs)
  • Hobgoblin 2099: Nice try! But my nanofiber wings broke the fall.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Nanofiber? How'd you get your claws on that?
  • Hobgoblin 2099: Oh, wouldn't you love to know?
  • Spider-Man 2099: Yeah. That's... why I... asked.
  • Hobgoblin 2099: I'd love to stay and play, but I've got places to destroy... people to kill! (Laughs)
  • Spider-Man 2099: ...Oh, shock me.
  • Officer: Take this, faker.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Can't track; he's too fast!
  • Officer: It's one of the fugitives! Drop him.
  • Hobgoblin 2099: (Cackles)
  • Spider-Man 2099: I'm the last one who should call anyone a freak. But that guy is a freak. Is... is that him?! Right over there! I can't slow him off! You're not the other Goblin I fought. Who are you? Where'd you come from?
  • Hobgoblin 2099: Not yet, Spidey. Why spoil the mystery? You're not going to get rid of that way! Wings, remember?
  • Spider-Man 2099: Nanofiber mesh - you didn't do this to yourself. Someone made you!
  • Hobgoblin 2099: So perceptive!
  • Spider-Man 2099: More public eye! Must've attracted some attention with our skydiving routine!
  • Hobgoblin 2099: Aw! And just wen you were getting warm! We'll have to continue this discussion later...
  • Officer: Permission to use lethal force granted!
  • Spider-Man 2099: You guys sure you don't need back up? They're not gonna hold back. Neither will I!
  • Hobgoblin 2099: You ruin all my fun!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Hey, someone's gotta do it.
  • Hobgoblin 2099: Why don't we meet up top? I've heard the view to die for.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Don't wait on my account. If I'm not there in five minutes, start beating yourself up without me. Don't take this the wrong way, but the more I get to know you, the less I like you.
  • Hobgoblin 2099: Oh, but there's so much more to learn about me! Take my psi-powers, for instance... Not bad, eh? Let's see what happens when I add the fragment's power to the mix.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Wh-wh-what's happening...?
  • Hobgoblin 2099: OHHH... I like this!
  • Spider-Man 2099: This... this can't be real...
  • Hobgoblin 2099: WELCOME TO MY REALITY, SPIDER-MAN... Hope you survive the experience!
  • Spider-Man 2099: You keep bragging about your fancy wings... let's see you land without 'em!
  • Hobgoblin 2099: (Groans)
  • Madame Web: You've done it, Spider-Man! And not a moment too soon.
  • Spider-Man 2099: You said it, Web. Now let's take a better look at these... Looks like nanofibers fused with... bio-organic circuitry?!? Only one corporation has technology advanced enough for this... Alchemax!

Electro

  • (At Ultimate Spider-Man's time)
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: What is that, weird smell? Oh. Right. Fresh air! Wish I could enjoy bein' outta the city, but this suit is throwing me. I feel dirty... and not in a fun, let's-go-clubbing way. Okay, I gotta focus. That magic rock is around here somewhere. Aaaaaand I just figured out where.
  • Ultimate Electro: Aww, if it isn't the spectacular spider-schmuck.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Oh dude, pants! No one wants to see your junk.
  • Ultimate Electro: Keep laughin', punk. See what I found? What do you think happens if I use it?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Uhh... Interest rates go down?
  • Ultimate Electro: YES! It's like my powers are totally unleashed - now I can absorb ALL this energy! ENERGY WITHOUT LIMIT!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: And yet, still no pants.
  • Ultimate Electro: See what I can do now!?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: (Sarcastically) I am SO impressed. I've never seen anyone start a truck before.
  • Ultimate Electro: Laugh it up, loser!
  • Ultimate Electro: (Laughs)
  • Worker: He broke the water pump!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: More people to save. All in a heroic day's work.
  • Ultimate Electro: Ahh, that hits the spot! Yeah, baby! Like that, right there!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Uhh, EW! Do you and your generator, like, need some time alone?
  • Ultimate Electro: Let's get this party started.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Ahh, you turned this place into a disco. Classy!
  • Madame Web: Spider-Man! Look for Electro above the generators!
  • Ultimate Electro: You think you're so hot, don'tcha?!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Actually, now that you mention it...
  • Ultimate Electro: Well guess what, twerp? That's just one o' the generators in this joint. And the more of 'em I drain, the stronger I'll get!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Hey! Get off me! Get off! I said get OFF ME, you little FREAKS--!!! Oh, man, I knew this would happen! It's this SUIT! Gotta get it off me before I - ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!
  • Madame Web: Electro is even more powerful now! Strike when is energy field is down! Do not let Electro regenerate his health above the generators!
  • Ultimate Electro: I need to recharge -
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: You know what I find helps? Rest and relaxation, turn the tv off, just have a little 'me' time... But that's probably not what you're talking about.
  • Spider-Man, you must keep Electro from gaining more access to power sources.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: I already knew that.
  • Madame Web: Perhaps, but you don't know the consequences you're facing for failing to stop him.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Worse than a little light show, huh?
  • Madame Web: Much worse.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Of course.
  • Ultimate Electro: Yes... yes... yes!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: No, no, no?
  • Ultimate Electro: More power!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Why don't you just give up, Elec-
  • Ultimate Electro: (Roar of Power)
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Okay, nevermind. But, y'know, if you change your mind, giving up is still an option.
  • Ultimate Electro: I HAVE BECOME A BEING OF PURE ENERGY!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: WITHOUT PANTS!!!
  • Ultimate Electro: NEXT -- THE CITY! ALL THAT POWER!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Oh, don't like the rain, huh?
  • Ultimate Electro: IT'S HARMLESS... LIKE YOU!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Lemme see what I can do about that. On both counts!
  • Madame Web: He is too powerful to take damage from you now! You must find another way to defeat him!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: There must be a way to use his own power against him! Think!
  • Ultimate Electro: THE WATER -- IT'S TAKING ME APARRRT!!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: You seem shocked. And that's why you never make toast in the bathtub.
  • Madame Web: Congratulations, Spider-Man! You really showed him what's... watt!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Womp-wahhh.

Act 2

  • Narrator: Mysterio was dangerous enough before when he was a simple charlatan! Imagine what he might become with even more magical might at his command! Even I can't begin to fathorn it, might Marvelities! And THAT'S saying everything!
  • (At the muesum in Amazing Spider-Man's time)
  • Mysterio: Yes, run! Run from your master, all-mighty Mysterio!
  • Officer: No Please!
  • Mysterio: For my next trick, I make two policemen... disappear. Eh!? More pieces of the Tablet? That means more power - more!!! I must have them!
  • Officer: Holy...
  • Officer 2: Yeah. You said it!

Sandman

  • (At Amazing Spider-Man's time)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Gotta hurry up and find next fragment! And there it is! So why is my spider-sense tingling? (Chocked Yell) Jeez! Talk about a dirt nap! But where's the...
  • Sandman: Lookin' for this, webhead?
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Well if it ain't my o' pal, Flint Marko: The Sandman! Y'know, every time we play together, I end up digging sand out of my costume for weeks.
  • Sandman: I got game for you to play.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Marko? Marko?
  • Sandman: Polo!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Oh man, and I thought my jokes were bad. Sandman powers. Yeah, there's definitely gonna be sand in my costume after this.
  • Sandman: You think that'll stop me? Think again!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Yoink! Oh look - you're all wet! Want me to go grab a towel?
  • Sandman: SPFF! PFUU! You're not goin' anywhere! I can control any sand I see now... any sand at all!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Yeah! You could make a killing up in the landscape business.
  • Sandman: I'll make killing, all right!
  • Madame Web: Punching Sandman will have no effect unless he has turned into mud! Trying throwing water barrels at him!
  • Sandman: RRAGH! I got a better idea for how to deal with you.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: That's nice and ominous. Hey, Flint? Where'dya go?
  • Sandman: I DON'T NEED TO FIGHT YOU IN PERSON ANYMORE! (Fursated Yell)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Leaving already? You never stay and cuddle.
  • Sandman: (Scream of Rage)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: What's wrong! Moisturizing is supposed to be good for skin! Where ya' goin' now? Can I come? Huh? Huh? Can I? Okay, I've seen enough scary movies to know this is the moment when the monster jumps out. I knew it! Unnhhhh... my head!
  • Sandman: I'LL KILL YOU!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: No thanks, I think that would make it worse.
  • Madame Web: You will need a great deal of water to stop him this time!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: I gotta say it; Here's mud in your eye!
  • Sandman: (Screams of Pain)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Hey, don't leave me alone in here! This place is scary!
  • Sandman Goon: I'll crush you!
  • Sandman Goon 2: No, no. Bury him!
  • Sandman Goon 3: Drown him in sand!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Uh, Flint? I dunno if spreading your consciousness across multiple creatures was such a good idea.
  • Madame Web: I think your webs are starting to crumble in more ways than one.
  • Sandman: (Furious Roar)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Back to the old salt mines, literally. The deeper into the mine he gets, the more said he'll have around him... the bigger he'll get!
  • Sandman: I'm getting tired of you... WE'RE getting tired of you!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Let's see where he went this time. Hmmm, sand. He's must a gone through this wall. Heheheh. And they say I'm not a detective. That drill could probably make Swiss cheese of it, but its operator must'a run off as soon as-
  • Minner: Help! Somebody help me! I'm bein' attacked by - S-SAND CREATURES?
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Mmm-aha.
  • Madame Web: You must eliminate all your enemies to proceed!
  • Minner: Phewww... thanks for saving my bacon! Anything I can do to getcha back...
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Funny you should say that. Can you work that drill?
  • Minner: Can I? Buddy, just swing me over to her! Aw, nuts! We got company, Spidey! Keep those sand things off my drill!
  • Madame Web: Stop those creatures, or you could be trapped down here! That large machine can't take more damage! Put a stop to their rampage!
  • Minner: We're through!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Nice! One thing I can say about you, pal - you know the drill.
  • Minner: First time I saved a superhero!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: This is gonna be close! WAAAAAAA!!!!!!! I am not going in that ride again anytime soon. Okay, maybe I should head for cover before Sandm- Yikes! Nowhere to go!
  • Sandman: (Laughs) IT'S THE END OF THE LIKE FOR YOU, SPIDER-MAN! I'LL FINISH YOU - KILL HIM NOW?
  • Sandman 2: NO! PLAY HIM A WHILE -
  • Sandman 3: DON'T GIVE HIM THE CHANCE TO ESCAPE -
  • Sandman 2: I WANNA MAKE HIM SUFFER -
  • Sandman : MAKE IT LAST!
  • Sandman 2: NO, DO IT NOW!
  • Sandman 3: KILL HIM!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Flint - your consciousness can't handle being spread this thin! The fragment has made you too powerful!
  • Sandman: YOU WOULD SAY THAT!
  • Sandman 3: WAIT, WHAT IF HE'S RIGHT?
  • Sandman 2: NO, IT'S A TRICK -
  • Sandman 3: IT'S NOT A TRICK - I CAN FEEL IT!
  • Sandman: SHUT UP -
  • Sandman 2: ADMIT IT, HE'S RIGHT!
  • Sandman 3: He'S LYING!
  • Sandman: SHUT UP - ALL OF YOU! JUST SHUT UP-
  • Sandmans: QUIIIIIIET!!!!
  • Madame Web: Use the water barrels amongst the debris to your advantage! Look for water barrels!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Well, it wasn't exactly a day at the beach. But it was worth it. And now to clean the sand out of my shorts.

Vulture

  • (At Spider-Man Noir's time)
  • Spider-Man Noir: Next on my list - Osborn's right-hand monster. A sadistic circus geek, who grew to love the taste of raw flesh... like his namesake... Call him Adrian Toomes. Call him Vulture. Call him whatever you want. I'll always call him the bastard who killed my uncle. And not just killed...
  • Vulture Noir: Hhhhhungrrry!!!!
  • Spider-Man Noir: What's the matter, Toomes? No humans around for dinner? You can't escape me, coward!
  • Vulture Noir: TheSspider-Man is coming, and I want him dead, understand?
  • Spider-Man Noir: Or you'll have to deal with me... Hey, guys. Don't suppose I can get a glass of milk?
  • Hammerred: Sorry, pal. But I got somethin' here to get you good an "hammerred"!
  • Vulture Noir: Worthlesssss!!!! All of you! Now can you protect me if you can't even protect yourselves? Finish The Spider-Man OR I'LL FINISH YOU!
  • Mugger: Vulture seems creepier than usual.
  • Mugger 2: Yeah. And that's sayin' somethin'.
  • Mugger: I didn't think anything could scare him. He's usually the scariest thing around.
  • Mugger 2: His breath always stinks, too.
  • Mugger: Yeah... what's that guy eat?
  • Guy: Never seen Vulture like that! He was sweatin' bullets!
  • Goon 2: Yeah. And everything that scares a guy like that... scares me.
  • Guy: The Spider wants to muscle in on this action, he's messing with the wrong gang. I'll fill him fulla daylight.
  • Goon: It's nighttime.
  • Goon 2: Same principle. Doesn't sound as good though. "I'll fill him fulla nighttime"?
  • Guy: Exactly.
  • Goon: See, this is why we're just goons. Because we have stupid discussions like this.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Reinforcements, huh? I'll take down every thug in this town if I have to. I got a bad feeling about this...
  • Vulture Noir: (Terrfying Scream!) No more games - it's time for the Vulture to FEASSST!
  • Spider-Man Noir: Yeah? Eat this!
  • Madame Web: Remember, Spider-Man. Vulture hates being in the light!
  • Vulture Noir: Looks like you have a train to catch! Or will it catch you?
  • Madame Web: The universe is not going to save itself, Spider-Man. A bit more alacrity, if you please.
  • Vulture Noir: Why are you bothering me, huh? Can't we work out some kind of deal?
  • Spider-Man Noir: Sure, I get the rock. You get life in prison.
  • Vulture Noir: (Hisses) Let's see you do this!
  • Spider-Man Noir: I've got to get those people to safety. Level with me, Toomes. Were you always this wrong in the head?
  • Vulture Noir: GET HIM, BOYS!
  • Spider-Man Noir: The more the merrier. I'm closing in on him. I can feel it. If I knoew Vulture, he'll go higher and higher... like a bird. Oh, no.
  • Vulture Noir: Wakey-wakey... eggsss and bakey! Care for a drink? WELCOME TO HELL! (Maniacal Laughter)
  • Spider-Man Noir: My god! There are other people in here... You maniac! What have you done?! You're going DOWN! (Grunts)
  • Vulture Noir: Never catch me... NEVER!
  • Spider-Man Noir: Vulture! Where are you, piece of trash- Argh! Oof! Auugh! It's over for you, you fifthly vermin... ...and Osborn's next!

Scorpion

  • (At Spider-Man 2099's time)
  • Chief: (On Radio) All Public Eye units in the vicinity report to 121st and Lex. One of those fragments Alchemax is looking for has been found!
  • Officer: Units 94 and 98 en route.
  • Chief: (On Radio) All units be advised, Alchemax warns that the fragment may attract freakers or other-
  • Scorpion 2099: (Howls)
  • Officer: Shock! What is that thing?
  • Shock: Don't move! Hands where I can see 'em!
  • Scorpion 2099: Hands!?
  • Shock: (Screams)
  • Spider-Man 2099: That can't be good... Kron Stone! I didn't even like this guy when he was human...
  • Scorpion 2099: MIIIIINE!!!!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Ah ahh! You didn't say the magic word. "May I please have the-"
  • Scorpion 2099: DIIIIEEEE!!!!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Don't shake your tail at me when I'm talking to you!
  • Guard: (Moans)
  • Scorpion 2099: She promised... she promised.
  • Guard: I heard something! Cover me.
  • Guard 2: What the freak are these?
  • Guard: Stay back! You don't know what-
  • Guard 2: Arrrgh!
  • Guard: Breach warning, Sector B4! Available units Sector B4!
  • Guard 2: Get back! Ahhh! Get away from me! - Oh no! NO!
  • Guard: Drop him now! Oof!
  • Scorpion 2099: Will hurt others if followed!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Now can I get those doors open and follow Scorpion? I bet those scientists can help me. Okay, this is getting twisted. Scorpion! I want that fragment!
  • Scorpion 2099: No! MMMMMMINE!
  • Spider-Man 2099: You don't understand. The power in that thing. It's dangerous.
  • Scorpion 2099: See me? See this!? I'm dangerous! MONSTER! But no more - she promised!
  • Spider-Man 2099: "She" who? Who promised?
  • Scorpion 2099: (Angry Howls)
  • Spider-Man 2099: Kron! Listen to me!
  • Scorpion 2099: No, YOU LISTEN Smart Lady said get rock. Bring her rock. Promised make me human again. HUMAN!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Who? What lady?
  • Scorpion 2099: RRRRAAAGGHHH!!!!
  • Madame Web: You will need to dislodge Scorpion somehow!
  • Spider-Man 2099: You seem upset.
  • Scorpion 2099: RAHHH!!!
  • Spider-Man 2099: (Yelps of Pain) Unghhh... I'm gonna make him pay for that. Just as soon as I can move.
  • Guard: Look who we got here!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Awww shock... Uh-oh. I think I'm about to have visitors.
  • Scorpion 2099: (Snarls)
  • Spider-Man 2099: Hey, big, green and oviparous! I'm not done with you!
  • Scorpion 2099: (Hissing Sounds)
  • Spider-Man 2099: You really get off on destroying public property, don't you?
  • Scorpion 2099: Escape - escape!
  • Spider-Man 2099: You said a woman sent you after the fragment. I want a name! Awwww shock.
  • Guard: Up and at them.
  • Guard 2: They're all over the place!
  • Guard: Clear the landing zone!
  • Guard 2: We can't stop them!
  • Guard: Keep firing! Keep firing!
  • Guard 2: Look out!
  • Guard: Watch your right!
  • Guard 2: Behind you!
  • Guard: Game changer, man! Game changer!
  • Scorpion 2099: ENOUGH!!!!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Shock, shock, shock, shock, shock, shock, shock, shock - Gotta break my fall somehow! Lord. This is your hideout, isn't it? This is where you were running to... You just wanted to get home.
  • Scorpion 2099: (Grunts of Exertion) Home, yes! Hide. Then, bring rock to lady. Be human again!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Who is she, Kron? Who put you up to this?
  • Scorpion 2099: Pretty... pretty suit she wears - green and yellow - And arms so shiny and many...
  • Spider-Man 2099: Shiny arms? What... metal?
  • Scorpion 2099: No more talk. You try to stop me. You die!
  • Spider-Man 2099: I'm sorry, Kron. If there were any other way to help you change back, I would. But this is longer than either of us.
  • Madame Web: Congratulations, Spider-Man. You've retrieved another fragment. This day is yours!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Yeah? Then how come I feel so bad about it?

Deadpool

  • (At Ultimate Spider-Man's time)
  • Deadpool: PAIN FACTOR! With your host... the anti-hero for hire... the mask for your task... the guy who won't die... DEADPOOL! Hi, Ma! And welcome to Pain Factor, the only show where you complete for your life! And remember, viewers, I'm available for black ops missions, assassinations, and birthday parties!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: I don't know what's weirder... that this guy can somehow come back from the dead, or that they gave him a TV show.
  • Deadpool: Coming up, we've got a very special Pain Factor - with a very special guest running the gauntlet!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Who?
  • Deadpool: You, Spider-Man!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Wait... what?
  • Deadpool: That's right! Our guest today will be the one, the only, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man - because he needs this!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Television, you are a cruel mistress.
  • Helicopter pilot: You know, you can ride inside.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Wow, that's not too big for anything. Can anybody say "overcompensating"?
  • Deadpool: Spidey! Can I call you, Spidey? Hey, thanks so much for being part of our little "webisode". Heh heh 'cause... 'cause you shoot the web... OK. Hey, can I get you anything before we start!? Soda? Bottled water?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: How about the fragment?
  • Deadpool: (Laughs) Good one! Okay, here we go, picture up! In three.. two... and... Welcome welcome welcome to Pain Factor!!!!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Is there a mute button for him?
  • Deadpool: And here he is! The terrifying... the deadly... the amazing... Spider-Man!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Just what I always wanted. A tasteful introduction.
  • Deadpool: Not a bad entrance [mine's gotta be better, though, later on in the level], but couldja put a little more oomph in it? You know, for the cameras. This is going out live to millions of viewers.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: I'll show you what I think of your cameras.
  • Deadpool: (After Spider-Man destroys the first camera) Hey! It was a live feed you just killed. Now what am I gonna tell its folks? (Crying).
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Tell' em it was mercy killing. If they've seen your show, they'll understand.
  • Deadpool: Listen, Webby. I can't have you swingin' around in your footy pajamas, destroying my cameras. You're gonna have to tangle with my ARMY! And by "army" I mean Production Assistants. And by Production Assistants I mean unpaid interns. And by unpaid interns I mean "fans". You're gonna have to tangle with my FANS!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Lamest. Supervillain. Ever.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: These cameras are his eyes and his ears. Better knock 'em out.
  • Deadpool: C'mon, like I wouldn't have a backup plan? This is live TV, baby - the show must go on!
  • Deadpool: (In the TV stage) Welcome to "The Wadey Wilson Show". Today's guest, Spider-Man. Hey, buddy. Have a seat. Let's talk about the question on everyone's lips... how HOT is Kitty Pryde? Uhh! Almost as hot as that redhead I always see you saving. Do I sense a bit of a love triangle there?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Oh my god. I'm getting out of here.
  • Deadpool: And is it true there's a clone of you out there with your brain, but trapped inside a girl's body?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Ehhh...
  • Deadpool: 'Cause that's kinda, like, creepy! And by "kinda", I mean "insanely"! I'd still hit it though.
  • Deadpool: Spider-Man! You're the next contestant on "The Priceless Fight!" COME ON DOWN!!!! Let's see what you've won... A ridonkulously big enemy to fight!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: That's a prize?
  • Beauregard: (Roars)
  • Deadpool: Uh-oh! Looks like the Spider's about to get squished! Aaand - we're out of commercial!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Yeah, but, huh?
  • Deadpool: Don't worry, we'll pick it up in the same spot when we come back. Guys? Get down there and keep talent limbered up in the meantime. Looks like the Spider's about to get squished.
  • Deadpool: Looks like the Spider's about to get squished! GO GET HIM, BEAUREGARD!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: "Beauregard?"
  • Beauregard: (Roars)
  • Deadpool: Aw, man! Where am I gonna find another fan that big and antisocial?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: I don't know. How friendly are you with Ben Grimm?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: That should do it!
  • Deadpool: Congratulations, Spider-Man! You've ruined my broadcast. And you deserve your prize...
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: The fragment?
  • Deadpool: That won't do! BAD SPIDEY! BAD!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Unnnghhh... Oww, my head! Where am I?
  • Deadpool: Yoo-hoo! Watch me, Mommy! Watch me! Ta-daa! Live and in person! The one, the only, DEADPO - oh, look at you.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: What about me?
  • Deadpool: I thought you'd be taller. Oh, well, we just won't use a lot of wide lenses. DEADPOOL! Thank you, thank you. Don't throw flowers, just send money.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Don't take this the wrong way but you seem a couple peas short of a pod.
  • Deadpool: Get in there, boys! Show Wally Webs here he can't twist my doorknobs!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: "Wally Webs"? Seriously?
  • Deadpool: Oh I just remembered, I have to... uh... floss.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Ah, don't run away like a sniveling coward just cause I was whipping your heinie.
  • Deadpool: I'm not running away! I'm just going to find a dictionary so I can look up "sniveling"! Snivelling. Hahaha - heinie. Well, my little petunia, it's been fun! For me, I mean. Not so much for you. Uh-oh.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Whoa! Okay. That was experience.
  • Deadpool Fan: Hey, man. Love your outfit.
  • Deadpool Fan 2: Back atcha! You get yours in the fan club catalogue too?
  • Deadpool Fan: Nah, the gift shop. You know, if you get it in person they actually tailor it for you.
  • Deadpool Fan 3: No way! Right there in the shop?
  • Deadpool Fan: Yes I mean, they take your measurements there in the shop. Doing the actual tailoring takes a couple days, but it's sooo worth it.
  • Deadpool Fan 3: Yeah, I was gonna say -
  • Deadpool Fan: I mean, right.
  • Deadpool Fan 2: Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude... turn around, let me look at how it fits ya. Yeah. I gotta say, that is really nice.
  • Deadpool Fan: I'm telling you, man. Tailored.
  • Deadpool: Welcome back to "The Wadey Wilson Show", with our special guest, Walthrop Webs. Now, Walthrop, let's talk about that time you and Wolverine switched brains...
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Well actually, I've got a question for you, Deadpool. Where'd you get that fragment?
  • Deadpool: I'm really glad you asked! And the answer to your question is: SHADDUUUP!
  • Deadpool: Congratulations! For surviving this long, you've received the Pain Factor Home Game! Now you can risk your well-being and sanity for the entertainment of others in the comfort of your own home! Follow me to pick up your prize!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Can the prize be suffering a sock in your mouth, instead?
  • Deadpool: With highs in the mid-sixties and the low of seventy-five. On the bad news tip, viewers are advised to seek higher ground, 'cause we're about to have a massive tidal wave tear through here! Looks like it will be caused about five seconds from now by some nutty feather-plucker detonating a whole mess of explosives underwater! Of course, the question on everyone's lips is: "Who would be crazy enough to-" Oh wait! IT'S ME!
  • Deadpool: Unbelievable! He deserves a breather for that one! Too bad he's gonna have to race another tidal wave!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: What!? Lame!!!!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: WOOO!!!! DID IT! And I think I just peed my costume a little bit.
  • Deadpool: I heard it.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Oh, great.
  • Deadpool: I dunno, man, I don't think that platform's gonna be high enough, do you? You might wanna think about catching the next boat out, know what I mean? And here he is! Bedevilled and bedraggled, drowned but not out... ...the man the myth, the legend, the non-mutant superhero!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Do villains find me annoying talkative? Uh... Don't answer that. All right, Ugly McEvilsteen! You're about to get CANCELLED!
  • Deadpool: Aaaand... Cut! That's a wrap! Great show, everybody! Great show. Here ya go, kid - you earned it!
  • (Deadpool throws the fragment to Ultimate Spider-Man)
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Uh... thanks..
  • Deadpool: Hey, fair is fair, right? BTW, what's the deal with that thing, anyhoo?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Well, it's a long story. Basically it gives bad guys extra super powers, so I have to... Wait a sec... This is a prop!
  • Deadpool: OHH-HHHHH, CANDY BAR! GONNA GET A CANDY BAR! Snap! Crackle! Chop! I love this! Finally, someone to laugh at my jokes! Hey, what's green and makes noise? What? The Incredible Honk! HAHAHAHAHAHA! KILL HIM!
  • Madame Web: Divide et impera, Spider-Man! Divide and conquer!
  • Deadpool: (After being defeated) We'll be righ' back... after theesh messages... (Loud Snoring)
  • Madame Web: Another successful mission! You get a high rating for that one.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Aren't they all? Um, just one thing... How do I get home?

Act 3

  • Narrator: So far so good! Our web-slingers have triumphed over unbelievable odds! But there are still more pieces of that terrifying Tablet out there! And something tells me, the worst is yet to come!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: And viola!
  • Madame Web: Excellent work, Spider-Man!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Who says good help is hard to find? Now, just one more fragment to go, and... (spider sense goes off) LOOK OUT!
  • Mysterio: The rest of the Tablet will be mine - it MUST be mine!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: You again? Why don't you go saw a lady in half of some - Hey!
  • Mysterio: That was NO illusion! You've understand me for the last time, Spider-Man. And this old crone will pay for your insolence! Recover the rest of the Tablet for me, or this will be the last you see of her!
  • Madame Web: (Pained Scream)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Stop! I'll do it - just don't hurt her, okay?!
  • Mysterio: Hurry, Spider! The clock's tickling! (Laughs)

Juggernaut

  • (At Amazing Spider-Man's time)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: All right... somewhere in this giant construction yard is the next fra- Oh. Well, this is a little too easy. What did I say that? WAAHHH!!!!
  • Juggernaut: OUTTA MY WAY!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Juggernaut! Yeesh, could things get any worse? I... did it again, didn't it? WAAHH!!!!
  • Silver Sable: Give up, Juggernaut! Silver Sable on your tail!
  • Juggernaut: GET LOST!
  • Silver Sable: Not a chance, Marko. My Wild Pack can track your every move. And for the bounty that's on your head? We'd follow you to the ends of the Earth.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: I think I'll just let them play through. All I care about now is that fragm- Oh, come ON! Juggy musta picked it up somehow - and he's probably too stupid to even realize it! Can't let Sable take him in before I get that fragment! All right, Spidey, think. Sable said something about tracking him... Ah! This'll buy me a little alone time with Juggy.
  • Silver Sable: All units! Juggernaut is moving fast to the east! Don't let him get away!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Great! Now it's just him and me!
  • Juggernaut: YOU!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Great... now it's just him and me!
  • Juggernaut: Once I get started, nothing can stop me!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Ohh, is THAT why they call you the Juggernaut? I totally get it now.
  • Madame Web: Here is your chance! When he smashes the ground!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: OK, laughing boy! Now hold still while I deliver the coup-de-grace!
  • Juggernaut: I hate French food!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: No, coup-de-grace, it means, like -
  • Juggernaut: IT MEANS YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Well... I guess that's one interpretation.
  • Silver Sable: Spider-Man, what a pleasant surprise! There's a nice little yacht I've had my eye on, and the bounty on your head should just about cover the cost!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: I see where this is going, Me vs. a lot of guys with guns, am I right?
  • Silver Sable: Attention all units! You have a new secondary target - Spider-Man!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: This is working out exactly the opposite of perfectly.
  • Juggernaut: OUTTA MY WAY, RUNTS!
  • Bravo Two: Watch it! It's Juggernaut!
  • Juggernaut: And you! You're going down - the hard way!
  • Brave Two: This is Brave Two - Juggernaut's on me! Need assistance! Repeat! Need assistance!
  • Juggernaut: (Roars)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: So... just us, huh?
  • Wild Pack Agent: Spider-Man's still a target. Get him!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Oh, come on. Really? BAM! How do I get out of here...?
  • Juggernaut: STOP FOLLOWING ME, WEB-CRAWLER!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Says the guy he makes an opening. I believe it was Goethe who said: "He who jealousy guards his fears,s secretly years to bring them about..."
  • Wild Pack Agent: Juggernaut's gone, but we can still get Spider-Man! Pin him down!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Boooooooo.
  • Wild Pack Agent: Fall back! We need more reinforcements!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Awww, I was just getting started!
  • Wild Pack Agent: Spider-Man! We've been waiting!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Sorry I'm late! Traffic sucked.
  • Juggernaut: Bah! I'm wasted enough time with you.
  • Silver Sable: Hey, Juggernaut! I got something for you...
  • Juggernaut: (Roar of Rage)
  • Silver Sable: You're boxed in, Marko. There's no way out.
  • Juggernaut: Then I'll make one!
  • Wild Pack Agent: Ho-lee...
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Jeez. Not often you see a guy pick a fight with a building - and win.
  • Wild Pack Agent: Man, did you see that?! He brought down the whole building!
  • Silver Sable: Be impressed on your own time! AFTER HIM!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Sounds like they're going my way. Maybe I can snag a ride.
  • Wild Pack Agent: Jeez! Look at him go! One guy did that. One guy! Dude's a human wrecking ball...
  • Silver Sable: Get over it! Bravo Four, what's his location?
  • Wild Pack Agent: He's headed west - towards the building under construction.
  • Silver Sable: That's the Oscorp building. Go! Go!
  • Wild Pack Agent: Hey, look there! On the belly of the copter!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Uh-oh...
  • Wild Pack Agent: Bravo Three, Spider-Man is on the underside of your chopper. Repeat, Spider-Man is on the underside of your chopper.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: That's my cue to boogie. Thanks for the ride, guys!
  • Wild Pack Agent: Secondary target acquired! I have visual on Spider-Man!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: You have visual on YOUR FACE! ...Yeah, that sounded better in my head. How am I going to get through that mess? Well, maybe if I help one of those workers, they can help me. Gotta reach Juggernaut before Sable's thugs blast him - and the fragment - to pieces!
  • Wild Pack Agent: Move in on him! What's he doing?!
  • Juggernaut: (Roars)
  • Wild Pack Agent: Shake him! Shake him off!
  • Wild Pack Agent 2: I can't! He's dragging me down! Look out!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: NO! That's it. I'm ending this... NOW! Hey, can I have your autograph?
  • Juggernaut: Again with you? You're not gonna catch me!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Better put some hustle in my bustle! That's why I carry a bustle around, to put hustle in. You can't keep up with me!
  • Juggernaut: You just don't shut up, do you?
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Anybody want a peanut?
  • Juggernaut: BOOYAH! C'mere, runt! Time to scrape you off my shoe once and for all! That's not gonna save you. I'm the Juggernaut, remember? Once I start moving - nothing can stop me!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: That's what I'm counting on...
  • Juggernaut: What if you start moving down?
  • Amazing Spider-Man: This is gonna be a bumpy ride!
  • Juggernaut: OOF! OOF! OW UNGH!
  • Wild Pack Agent: Holy...!
  • Silver Sable: Land this copter NOW - we're going in! It'll be a miracle it either of them survived that.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Ta-daaaaa.... (Moans) This might be my only chance - gotta get my hands on that fragment before he finds it-
  • Juggernaut: Hey... what's this glowy thing?
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Aw, crumbs...
  • Juggernaut: I'M EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN BEFORE!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Are you also nicer?
  • Juggernaut: (Roars)
  • Amazing Spider-Man: No, guess not.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Perfect. I couldn't stop him before, and here he is MORE unstoppable!
  • Madame Web: Fear not. The newfound power of the tablet seems to be at odds with his Crimson Gem.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: So with great power comes great vulnerability? Hey, if that's the case, I'll take it.
  • Madame Web: Excellent! Now hurry back, Spider-Man! There is still much time to do!

Goblin

  • (At Spider-Man Noir's time)
  • Spider-Man Noir: The old Carnival. Osborn's camped out here, somewhere in this rotted alley of nightmares. But I'll find him - him and the fragment he's collected.
  • Ox: He's after those rocks we've been bringing you. First he got Vulture and Hammerhead, and how he's headed here! I'm tellin' ya, Mr. Osborn, The Spider-Man is comin'!
  • Norman Osborn Noir: Do you take me for a fool?
  • Ox: W-what?
  • Norman Osborn Noir: I want him to come. Let the spider fall into my web! The other fragments made Hammerhead and Vulture more powerful - let's see what this one does for me!
  • Norman Osborn Noir: (Screams) (More Screams)
  • (Norman Osborn Noir transform into Goblin Noir)
  • Spider-Man Noir: I've waited a long time for this, Osborn. Tonight, your criminal empire ends.
  • Goblin Noir: Welcome, Spider-Man. Look, around! Do you know where you are?
  • Spider-Man Noir: A demilitarized zone?
  • Goblin Noir: The carnival where I once started in the freak show. Many years ago. The perfect place to begin my revenge.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Great idea.
  • Goblin Noir: But when I came back, I had to relocate the current employees to more temporary lodgings. And I do mean temporary... I have the unfortunate tendency to kill things when I'm bored. Heh heh. You'll see.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Wrong, Goblin. Cause I'm gonna find them, and I'm gonna save them. Then I'm gonna find you and put you down like the wild dog you are. And last but least, I'm gonna bring back the fragment... ...starting NOW!
  • Clown Voice: ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE... ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE... ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE...
  • Spider-Man Noir: You make it sound so invit-
  • Goblin Noir: HA! BEHOLD! The Goblin in all his glory! Stronger! More powerful-
  • Spider-Man Noir: And that hair! It's scarier than ever!
  • Goblin Noir: I'll give you something to be scared of! You're pathetic! And you thought you could beat me? HA! Give it your best shot, then, if you can! Come and get your superior... The Goblin Victorious!
  • Spider-Man Noir: Seems "The Goblin Victorious" forgot to pay his electric bill. Aw, applesauce.
  • Goblin Noir: Hahahaha. You're putting up more of a fight this time! I like that!
  • Spider-Man Noir: Now we're in business. Ah, there we go. Time to dust this place.
  • Clown Voice: Thanks, pal. Now breeze off.
  • Goblin Noir: WELCOME... WELCOME TO MY HOUSE!
  • Spider-Man Noir: Phew! All these grinning faces are creepin' me out... it's like an advertisement for hell. That'll teach you to flap your jaw. Say hi to your dentist for me. Okayyy, either I've flipped my wig, or this room is--Aaauuugh!
  • Goblin Noir: (Laughing)
  • Spider-Man Noir: I'll keep tellin' ya, Osborn, you gotta pay your electric bill.
  • Goblin Noir: Rrraaahh! Get some lights on him! NOW! Find him and shoot him!
  • Spider-Man Noir: Better grab the shadows. Whoa, deja-vu. What am I, around in circles? Will this never end. What's that sound? More gas! Better find a way outta here before they've measuring me for a wooden kimono! Finally!
  • Goblin Noir: NOT SO FAST! (Growls)
  • Spider-Man Noir: Guess he... couldn't take that what I was dishing out!
  • Goblin Noir: I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE! I'LL TEAR THIS PLACE DOWN WITH MY BARE HANDS IF I HAVE TO!
  • Spider-Man Noir: Wait! He's not gonna... Is he...? Could he...?
  • Goblin Noir: (Grunts)
  • Spider-Man Noir: He is, he could, and he did.
  • Civilian: Oh, no! Help! Good lord... such rage!
  • Spider-Man Noir: He must've really hated that ride. Okay. Wish me luck. Are you gonna stand there babbling all night, or are we gonna end this?
  • Goblin Noir: YOU!
  • Spider-Man Noir: That's me.
  • Goblin Noir: YYYAAARRRGGGH!!!!!!
  • Madame Web: He's too powerful! You have no chance engaging him head-on! You must use the shadows to your advantage! Osborn is too powerful to fight directly!
  • Goblin Noir: Back in the cage, eh? Back to the freak show.
  • Spider-Man Noir: (Sarcastically) Oh, boo, hoo.

Doctor Octopus

  • (At Spider-Man 2099's time)
  • Spider-Man 2099: So... Scorpion was going to bring his fragment to someone here, at one of the high security labs. Luckily, my secret identity happens to work here, I know these security systems better than anyone... 'cept, maybe, whoever's collecting these fragments!
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Preliminary tests confirm what I've suspected from the beginning, that this artifact is an energy source of almost immeasurable power! Clearly, this calls for proactive measures... to prevent it from falling into the hands of... RIVALS!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Oh, man! Busted.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: So, we finally meet. I'm Serena Patel, head of Alchemax's Shadow Division.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Never heard of it.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Yes. That's why I called "Shadow Division".
  • Spider-Man 2099: Ah, Touche. So what's the master plan, Patel? You shadowy types always have one.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Hmm. I could kill you, or I could explain everything then kill you. I think I'll just kill you.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Son of a-
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Computer. This laboratory has been compromised. Initiate self-destruct sequence... ten seconds.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Ten seconds? That's barely enough time to come up with a clever explosion-related quip!
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Ooh... that must really burn you up, So long, Spider-Man. It's been a blast.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Oh, she's good. Rrrggh! Oh shock! Better slow my fall somehow... WEBS DON'T FAIL ME NOW! Ah! I think it's gonna work! (Grunts of Pain)
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Welcome to the Shadow Division, Spider-Man. Tomorrow's weapons, developed today. And at the heart of it all - my masterpiece! Impressive, isn't it?
  • Spider-Man 2099: Meh.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: What do you mean, "meh"?
  • Spider-Man 2099: I've seen one of these before.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: No, you haven't.
  • Spider-Man 2099: I have. I totally have.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: It's a Condensed Matter Reactor! The only one in existence!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Is THAT what it is? Uhhhhhhh. Meh.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Maybe THIS will impress you! (Shows him the fragment) The power of a million thermonuclear reactions at my command! Now the world is mine! Everybody sing - everybody praise - ME!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Waaaaaa! Ow. Just, ow. Okay, those cables gotta go somewhere. First step, figuring out where.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Hahaha. You can't shut it down, if that's what you're thinking. You don't know how. Tell me, do you really believe you can stop me? Are you that deluded? Look at you, trying to understand now to thwart my technology. I'm almost worried. You think you can shut down my reactor? Haha. Do your best.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Three more to go! I get it. Save the scientists to get them to deactivate the force field. Piece of cake.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: I can't believe I've let you live this long! I'm warning you, Spider-Man. Give up now before I'm forced to destroy you. I'm a patient woman, Spider-Man. But my patience is at an end!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Ooh, I'm really getting under your skin! I keep this up, you're gonna have a meltdown, aren't ya?
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: I won't!
  • Spider-Man 2099: What the...?
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: This should finish you handily!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Giant mechanical arm, huh? Meh.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Babbling jackanape! Must you ruin EVERYTHING?!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Is that a trick question? She likes me. I can tell. There's something so so satisfying about this.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Fool! That won't stop me - all you've done is ensure your own doom!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Yeah, says you. Aww shock.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: You've done better than expected. But it ends now. I admire your persistence, Spider-Man, but it's taken you as far as you'll go. I admit, I'm impressed. But then, I had low expectations. I hope you enjoyed your little run while it lasted. Because it's over.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Only one more to go!
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Let's try this again.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Yeah, let's! You're gonna need the world's biggest SLING, because that arm's about to get BROKEN!
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: That's what I was gonna say before. DIE!!! No! You insolent wretch! You've broken my power couplings! I can't work this arm anymore!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Ha! Then I hope you've got a giant sling -
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Bah!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Hey! Did you just run off in the middle of my joke? Oh, man, it was gonna be a good one, too. Well, at least the force field down.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: Congratulations, you've shut down a number of redundant energy batteries. A minor inconvenience! As long as I have the artifact, my Reactor is unstoppable! And the destruction I wreak with it will be a testament to its magnificent design!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Really? Doesn't seem like much of a machine if it gets all its power from a magic rock.
  • Doctor Octopus: You cretin! Do you have even the slightest idea what complicated engineering is required for it to successfully derive energy from a mystical artifact? Do you!? DO YOU!?
  • Spider-Man 2099: Meh.
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: I'LL KILL YOU!!!!
  • Madame Web: You must find a way to get out of there! She is consuming a great deal of energy to get to you. Find a way to use that to your advantage!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Gotcha!
  • Doctor Octopus 2099: (Unconscious Moan)
  • Spider-Man 2099: You're right. I am incredible. Now, let's get this back where it belongs!

Carnage

  • (At Ultimate Spider-Man's time)
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Great. Just great - I figure, why not swing by the Triskelion and see if I can get some help from Nick Fury or any of his S.H.I.E.L.D. agents... ...and this is what I find? Either something really big happened here, or Nick Fury has terrible taste in decoration. Oh, no. No, no, no. I've seen this before... this red goop... bodies drained to husks... There's only one thing that could do this. One thing...
  • Carnage: (Growls)
  • Computer: Prisoner 900M has escaped holding. All available security units to Prison Level.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: In the entire history of having bad feelings, the one I'm having right now is the worst. My God... It's a massacre.
  • Scientist: Get away from me! Please! Please...
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Hang on! You mind explaining what the hell is goin' on?
  • Scientist: Carnage.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Yeah, that much I got.
  • Scientist: No, that, red monster, the clone, that's what we call him: Prisoner 900M, case designate "Carnage". He escaped while, uh, we were studying him. I managed to lock him out of here, but then the agents he killed somehow... re-animated themselves...
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: He never had that kind of power before. Tell me this doesn't have anything to do with him being exposed to a mystical fragment.
  • Scientist: My God. How did you know?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: You stupid...
  • Scientist: We has to risk it! The energy readings we got when the two were in proximity suggested-
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Just. Open. The door.
  • Scientist: You're - ? Wait - you're going in there after it? Why?
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Because great powers come with great responsibility. Something you wouldn't understand.
  • S.H.I.E.L.D. Bot: Symbiotic presence detected! Purge protocol engaged!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: What the--?!
  • Carnage: (Screams)
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Hey, all right! Score one for the flamey robot thing. Uh-oh.
  • S.H.I.E.L.D. Bot: Parasitic organism detected! Purge protocol engaged!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: I knew this black suit was a bad idea! I'm gonna stop you, whatever it takes!
  • Pilot: Look at him go! Coming around again! Get those birds in the air, people! Move! Move! Move!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Ok... On the bright side, I think I found an escape route.
  • Scientist: Thanks for getting me to safety. And good luck stopping this -- you're gonna need it!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: I don't believe it. Is that a crashed Helicarrier?
  • Madame Web: The creature dislikes fire! See if you can force him into it!
  • Agent Welling: (On Radio) Mayday! Mayday! This is Helicarrier Delta-Sierra. Can anyone hear me? Mayday! We're coming back in!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Looks like he's headed for that control tower.
  • Agent Welling: (On Radio) Mayday, mayday! Some of those creatures got on board! Repeat, we have been boarded! They're in the cockpit! They're in the - OH MY GOD! (Screams) No, no, no, no!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: (Yelling) I never. Wanna do that. Again.
  • Agent Welling: (On Radio) Evacuate! All cleared personnel out of this area immediately! (On Radio) Move it, people! Get those birds in the air, let's go! Come on! Maybe I can hitch a ride. We've taken heavy damage from infected prisoners! I'm losing altitude! All hands, brave for imp-
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: This is INSANE! Okay, Spidey. Just -- pull it together. Now what do we have here...? Yuh! Don't let em' see you! Careful... Okay, just a guess, but I'm thinking... smash the giant egg in the center of the room.
  • Agent Welling: Spider-Man! Spider-Man! If you can hear me, this is Agent Welling of S.H.I.E.L.D.! We're sending new Slayer Robots that have been programmed to recognize you as an ally! Look for the red ones!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Well, whaddaya know! My very own robot sidekicks. I'll call this one "Herbie". Awww yeah! Turkey! You're outta here!
  • Carnage: (Screaming in Pain)
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: What? I thought you liked being on fire! My bad. And stay down.

Final Act/Mysterio

  • Narrator: Hey, not bad, web-heads! They've fought their way from one dimension to the next, faced a number of their most fearsome foes, and found the final fragments of the fabled Tablet of Order and Chaos! But they're not done yet! Remember, there's still a damsel in distress! So what are you waiting for, heroes? Hop to it!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: What now? I can't give the final Tablet piece to Mysterio, but if I don't, it's lights off for Madame Web. Think, Spidey. THINK!
  • Mysterio: After years of pretending, of faking my with special effects and strange magic... to have a taste of the REAL thing. I can't wait any longer! Where is he? I want that Tablet! Argh!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Don't say I never gave you anything!
  • Madame Web: The Tablet - it's reassembling itself!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Oh, great.
  • Mysterio: POWER - BEYOND THAT OF A GOD! THE WALLS OF REALITY CRUMBLE BEFORE ME!
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Madame Web!
  • Madame Web: Don't worry about me, Spider-Man! The web of reality - the tapestry of the universe - is unraveling!
  • Mysterio: YES! A UNIVERSE TO REMAKE IN MY IMAGE! I WILL DEVOUR EVERY DIMENSION - UNTIL ALL... IS... MYSTERIO!
  • Madame Web: One last chance! With the walls of reality broken - I can summon your counterparts - from other worlds. The four of you, TOGETHER, are reality's only hope!
  • (At Spider-Man Noir's time)
  • Mysterio: I COMMAND REALITY ITSELF!
  • Spider-Man Noir: You don't need to get a swelled head about it.
  • Madame Web: Do not let Mysterio spot you, or you are done for!
  • (At Ultimate Spider-Man's time)
  • Mysterio: BEHOLD... NOW THE TINIEST SPIDER OF ALL STANDS AGAINST ME!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Hey. I'm sensitive about my height, okay?
  • Madame Web: Mysterio's apparitions draw their power from the mystical orbs! You must destroy at all costs!
  • (At Spider-Man 2099's time)
  • Spider-Man 2099: Falling again! You know, standing on solid ground is so 2098.
  • Madame Web: Quickly! After him, Spider-Man! Do not let him get away!
  • Spider-Man 2099: Yeah. Yeah, it's all broken.
  • Mysterio: (Screams)
  • Spider-Man 2099: Is this helping or hurting? I get the two mixed up.
  • (At Amazing Spider-Man's time)
  • Mysterio: (Screams Louder) No! No, stop! I'll give you the Tablet! I'll give you anything you want! Don't! DOOON'T!! NOOOO!!!

Ending

  • Narrator: A lesson to all you wannabe bad-guys out there - when destroying dimensions and defying do-gooders, watch out! Because you might unleash forces beyond your control - like the palpable power of four sensational Spider-Men!
  • Mysterio: WAIT! Wait, the Tablet! Oh, it could still be mine! It could still-
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Some guys never learn. And, uh... speaking of learning. You should learn how to count! Something tells me you're outnumbered. Gentlemen?
  • Spider-Man Noir: I really hate this fella!
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Aww, c'mon, he's a blast to kick in the face.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Pal, you got... Shocked!
  • (Mysterio is defeated and reality is returning to normal again)
  • Madame Web: Well done! The walls of reality are rebuilding themselves. And now, you must ask return to your own dimensions.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: See you later, older and less cool versions of me.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Old? Hey, I'm from the future. To me, all you guys are ancient history.
  • Spider-Man Noir: Good to know there IS a future. And men like you to carry on the good fight.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Word.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Bye, guys. Next time you should hang around longer. We could start a bridge club or something. (picks up Mysterio) C'mon, Misty. Time to drop you off at Super-Villain Day Care.
  • Madame Web: Thank you, Spider-Man. You should be proud to know your legacy is being upheld across time and space.
  • Amazing Spider-Man: Yeah, those guys were alright, but you have to admit...
  • Spider-Man Noir: With four different Spider-Men...
  • Ultimate Spider Man: One thing I know for sure...
  • Spider-Man 2099: Out of all of them...
  • All Spider-Men: (in unison) I'M THE BEST!
  • Narrator: And so ends one of the most titanic teams-up of all time. And what have we learned here today, Marvelites? That no matter what corner of the cosmos you may find yourself in, there'll always be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man to save the day! And to all of you web-spinning wonders, I proudly say: EXCELSIOR!
  • Spider-Pig: So? What'd I miss?
  • Madame Web: What the?!
  • Spider-Pig: "Nuff said, Kids! 'Nuff said!
  • [End of Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions]