Hassle in the Castle
Decoy for a Dognapper
(The episode opens outside Gold City, an old ghost town, as a thunderstorm is brewing and a buzzard squawks menacingly. Through the storm we can see a creepy bearded man, the Miner '49er, walking around. Then we fade to the Mystery Machine...)
Fred: Are you sure we took the right turn, Shaggy?
Shaggy: Sure. We took this road and turned to the right.
Velma: No wonder we're lost. You've been reading the map upside down.
(Velma turns the map back right side up.)
Velma: Here's where we are. At Gold City, the old ghost town.
Shaggy: Ghost town?
Scooby-Doo: Rhost rown?
Daphne: What will we do now?
(The gang approaches a guest ranch as lightning flashes.)
Fred: Hey, what's that over there?
Velma: "Gold City Guest Ranch. Vacancy."
Fred: Well, maybe we can spend the night there.
Fred: Yes, there.
(The gang goes up to the front door of the ranch.)
Fred: Go ahead. Ring the bell, Shaggy.
Shaggy: Ring-a-ding-ding, coming up.
(The door opens to reveal a big friendly man with red hair.)
Big Ben: Welcome, kids. Come on in. I'm Big Ben, owner of this guest ranch.
Fred: Do you happen to have any rooms for the night?
Big Ben: Do I? Heh. You're my only guests.
Big Ben: Come on in and register, and I'll call old Hank.
Shaggy: Hank. Oh, Hank. We have some guests.
(Scooby-Doo goes over to a mousetrap near a mouse hole, grabs the cheese on the trap and eats it. Then a cartoonish-looking mouse comes out of the mouse hole and chitters angrily at him.)
Shaggy: Hey, Scooby, come here.
(Scooby rejoins the gang, with Hank and Big Ben accompanying them.)
Big Ben: Now, this is Hank. The caretaker here at the ranch.
Hank: Pleased to meet you.
Big Ben: Hank, show the guests to their rooms, like a good feller.
Hank: Follow me.
(Hank leads the gang to their rooms...)
Hank: That will be the girls' room and you fellers can bunk in this one, just across the hall.
Daphne: These sure are nice rooms.
Velma: I can't understand why the place is empty.
Hank: It's the miner.
Fred and Shaggy: The miner?
Scooby-Doo: The who?
Hank: The Miner '49er.
Velma and Daphne: (Velma now has lipstick on) '49er?
Hank: Yesiree. He came to Gold City in 1849 and he can't rest until he finds the last vein of gold.
Shaggy: Like, wow, that's what I call an ancient miner.
Hank: That's for sure.
Hank: And at night, you can hear the mine moaning calling for the miner.
Scooby: Ruh-ruh. RUH-ruh!
Velma: But what has he got to do with the ranch?
Hank: I don't know. But lately, he's been coming up here and scaring the guests away.
Shaggy: And I'm going away in the morning myself.
Shaggy: Man, that's the wildest tale I ever heard.
Velma: Ridiculous. A 100-year-old miner.
Daphne: Still, something must have scared off the guests.
(As they talk, Scooby peeks into a keyhole and looks in and sees a creepy orange eye. Then he opens the door and peeks in, but finds only nothing. Then he slams the door.)
Fred: Well, it's still early. Why don't we go into the ghost town and take a look around?
(The gang drives through Gold City in the Mystery Machine.)
Shaggy: Wonder what it's like on a Saturday night?
Fred: Boy, what a spooky old street.
(A shutter falls off an old weathered building labeled "Undertaker".)
Shaggy: I've seen enough. Let's go back.
Fred: Not until we walk around this ghost town and see what we can find.
Shaggy: Like, I know what we'll find.
(The gang walks down the old street, with Scooby doing a slightly scared walk. They go past an old shed. Lightning flashes and thunder booms as we see the Miner illuminated in the building. Now they come up to an old-time Western saloon and go through the swinging doors.)
Velma: (now without lipstick) Hey, look, Shaggy. A real old-time Western saloon.
(We see the saloon. It’s abandoned, and full of cobwebs and dust and broken tables.)
Shaggy: When you said old, you just weren't, like, kidding.
(Shaggy and Scooby go up to the bar counter.)
Shaggy: Sarsaparilla, bartender.
(The Miner '49er's hands push two glass mugs over to the them. Inside the mugs are cobwebs.)
Shaggy: No wonder this place is empty. You ask for a sarsaparilla, and all you get is a glass of spider webs.
Shaggy and Scooby-Doo: Spider webs?!
(Suddenly a player piano on a stage activates and begins playing a spooky version of "My Darling Clementine.")
Shaggy: Zoinks! Ghosts!
(They both yelp, run off and hang onto a curtain. Velma stands on the stage near the piano.)
Velma: It's not a ghost. It's a player piano.
Shaggy: So who's playing it?
Velma: It's automatic. It must've turned itself on automatically. (shuts off piano) Now, come down out of those draperies.
(We hear them fall, and then a crash follows.)
Shaggy: Like, why couldn't you have been a poodle?
(Now they stand in front of an old hotel.)
Fred: Did you guys find any clues?
Velma: Not a one.
Fred: Neither did I.
Fred: Let's take a look in this old hotel.
Shaggy: Maybe our mysterious miner rented a room for the night.
(Scooby nervously peeks in, and Shaggy shoves him in all the way.)
Shaggy: Oh, go on in, Scooby.
(The others peek in, and Scooby looks around. Then they all walk around inside. The floorboards creak as they walk.)
Daphne: What a creaky, creepy place.
(Scooby does his distinct walk as he separates from the rest of the gang.)
Shaggy: Hey, Scooby, come on.
(Shaggy runs after Scooby, who enters another room.)
Shaggy: Oh, wait for me.
(Shaggy catches up.)
Shaggy: It's lucky for you the room's empty. Let's get back to the others.
(The wind whistles, and the shutters open and a tree branch snags the back of Shaggy’s shirt.)
Shaggy: He's got me! HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLP! YEEEOOOWWWWWWW!
(We see Shaggy tugging on Scooby's tail as they try to run away. But then the slingshot effect occurs, sending them bot flying into a tree. The shutters close.)
Shaggy: Ha ha ha ha. It's only a tree branch. I knew it all the time.
Scooby-Doo: Hee hee hee hee.
(Then we fade to the gang standing together in the hotel hallway.)
Daphne: The only place we haven't looked is the old mine.
Fred: And that's all boarded up.
Velma: I'm beginning to think there really isn't an ancient miner.
Fred: Well, let's keep moving. Keep together, now.
(They go past a mirror. Scooby-Doo stops among noticing his reflection and makes funny faces. Then he moves down and his reflection disappears, and when Scooby moves up again, the Miner ‘49er is moving in time with Scooby.)
Scooby-Doo: Huh? Uh-oh. Hmm?
(Suddenly the Miner stands up and nearly grabs Scooby, whom takes off in horror, and as he runs, Scooby snatches onto a curtain, which grabs an old cigar store Indian statue, and begins dragging it along as a Native American-style music cue plays.)
Shaggy: Zoinks! The miner's chasing Scooby!
(Then Scooby and the Indian statue crash into something offscreen. The Mystery Inc. humans lie near the now-broken Indian statue.)
Velma: Some miner. It's only a cigar-store Indian.
(Scooby pulls the Indian’s head off of his own head like a mask.)
Daphne: Oh, Scooby. Quit clowning.
Scooby-Doo: Who's rowning?
(Fred puts his hand inside the statue's body.)
Daphne: Look, it's hollow.
Fred: Hey, what's this inside? (pulls out an old map of some sort)
Velma: It looks like a map of Gold City.
Daphne: And look how new it is.
Shaggy: What's a new map like that doing in an old Indian like this?
Velma: It's quite simple. Somebody was hiding it.
Fred: Maybe these numbers mean something. (reads them) Left 10, right 7, left 4, right 23.
Daphne: Maybe it's directions to a buried treasure.
Shaggy: Yeah, like a fortune in buried chocolate cheeseburgers?
Scooby-Doo: (smacks his lips in delight) Ooh!
Velma: But those directions don't make sense.
Fred: Then they must mean something.
Daphne: But... what?
Velma: I've got it. I bet it's the combination of a safe.
Fred: And there's an old safe in the lobby of this hotel.
(Fade back to the Mystery Inc. gang standing in front of the safe.)
Fred: OK, Shaggy, you work on the combination as I read off the numbers.
Shaggy: Okay, but I need a moment to warm up. (warms up) Now, I must have absolute quiet while I work. (begins working on the safe lock)
Fred: (taps Shaggy's back) Oh, Shaggy. Shaggy!
Shaggy: Shh! Quiet!
Fred: Look, I have the combination. Just turn the knob to the right.
Shaggy: Well, why didn't you say so?
(Scooby flashes a wicked smile and opens the safe. Inside is an old elevator.)
Scooby-Doo: It's open.
Shaggy: Stop showing off, Scooby. I knew it was open all the time. Like, wow! Get a load of that!
Daphne: A secret elevator.
Fred: Well, let's see where it goes. All aboard.
(Everyone except Scooby gets inside the elevator.)
Fred: Come on, Scooby.
Scooby-Doo: Ruh-uh. UH-uh.
Fred: Come on, Scooby. You're not chicken.
(As "Chicken Reel" plays, Scooby struts back and forth waving his arms like wings and clucking like a chicken.)
Daphne: Would you come with us for a Scooby snack?
Scooby-Doo: Mmm? Two?
Daphne: Okay, two it is.
Fred: Well, come on.
(Scooby babbles something unintelligible, and then Daphne tosses him the two Scooby Snacks, which he instantly gobbles up.)
Scooby-Doo: Scooby-Doo! (runs into the elevator) Rown!
(The elevator begins to go down, and a few seconds later a crash is heard as the elevator lands in a mine tunnel.)
Fred: Wow. Look where we've landed.
Daphne: A mine tunnel!
Velma: It must be the old Gold City Mine.
Fred: Well, if there is a miner, this is where we'll find him. Come on.
(The Miner walks by a door, and the group tries to walk along.)
Daphne: It's sure dark in here.
Fred: We could use some light.
Shaggy: (holding sticks of dynamite Hey, I found some candles! (lights them, but the fuses sizzle)
Velma: Shaggy, that's dynamite!
(Shaggy frantically tries to blow out the fuses and then tosses back the dynamite sticks behind them, and they blow up. The mine shakes as Shaggy and Scooby cover their ears.)
Shaggy and Scooby-Doo: Shhhhhhh!
(Now we see some lanterns strung around the mine.)
Daphne: That's strange. This end of the mine's lit by lanterns.
Fred: Yeah, and I wonder who lit them.
Weird voice: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Shaggy: Zoinks! You had to ask.
Velma: That must be the moan that Hank was talking about.
Fred: I think we'd better split up and try and find out where that moan came from. I'll go this way with Daphne and Velma. You go that way with Scooby-Doo.
Shaggy: Thanks a lot.
Fred: And, Shaggy, if you find anything, holler.
Shaggy: (walking off with Scooby) I'm liable to holler even if I don't find anything.
(Shaggy and Scooby stroll together as Shaggy whistles. But then he walks far ahead of Scooby and then notices a spooky shadow on the wall.)
Shaggy: YIPE! (runs off)
(Shaggy peeks up from behind a mine cart and see that the shadow is really from Scooby-Doo acting monstrous.)
Shaggy: Ee HEE hee hee hee hee!
Shaggy: What are you trying to do, Scooby?
Shaggy: Well, quit the clowning and come on!
(Scooby and Shaggy walk on, whistling together, and then come up to a set of doors.)
Shaggy: Look at all these doors. You look in one of those, and I'll look in this one.
(Scooby opens a door and sees the Miner '49er standing in there.)
Scooby-Doo: Huh? Ruh-roh!
(Scooby slams the door and runs up to Shaggy, mumbling incomprehensible and using pantomime to explain what he saw.)
Shaggy: You gotta be kidding.
Shaggy: I suppose you want me to look?
Shaggy: That's what I was afraid of.
(Scooby shivers, and Shaggy opens the door and peeks in. There is nothing there.)
Shaggy: It's empty.
Scooby-Doo: Huh? Rempty?
(They peek in. Scooby mutters something unintelligible.)
Shaggy: What are you trying to do, scare me again? (shuts the door angrily and walks off)
(Scooby mumbles something again and opens the door. We see the Miner growl again from inside the closet.)
Scooby-Doo: Yipe! (slams the door and leaps into Shaggy's lap)
Shaggy: What now?
(Scooby whimpers in fear.)
Shaggy: Boy, what a scaredy-dog. You still think there's something in that closet?
Scooby-Doo: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Shaggy: OK, we'll switch. You look in this door, and I'll look in that one.
Scooby sighs with relief, and Shaggy puts him back on the ground.
Shaggy: And there better be something in it.
(Scooby opens the other door, and the Miner is now in it!)
Scooby-Doo: Oh, no!
(The Miner moans angrily)
Shaggy: Zoinks! It's the Miner '49er!
(Scooby yelps, slams the door and runs off. Then we fade to Fred, Daphne and Velma in some storage area with bags of flour.)
Fred: Hmm. This must be a storeroom.
Velma: Careful. Those old floorboards look weak.
Fred: I know, I know. (the floor begins creaking underneath him)
Daphne: Look out!
(The floor gives out underneath Fred, causing him to fall.)
Fred: Whoaaaa! (lands)
Daphne: Are you all right?
Velma: Say something!
(Fred pulls a bag of flour off his head. He is now completely gray.)
Fred: I'm all right, just covered with flour.
Fred: You wait up there. I'll be right up.
(Then we fade to Shaggy and Scooby-Doo running.)
Shaggy: We gotta, like, find a place to hide.
(They slide up to a door.)
Shaggy: Quick, in here.
(They open the door and see Fred covered in flour.)
Shaggy: A g-g-g-ghost! Let's get out of here.
(They run over to two mine carts coupled together and get in the lead cart, which begins rolling down the tracks.)
Shaggy: Whew! We finally got away from that goony miner.
(The Miner comes up, revealing he was hiding in the rear cart. He groans.)
Shaggy: Like, it's him!
(Scooby-Doo pulls the pin out of the coupling device, unhooking the two carts. The two of them chase each other throughout the mine, and we see them go through a passage of trestles, with the carts and characters colored purple. After a bit, we see that Scooby-Doo is now in the cart with the Miner. Scooby chuckles and waves sheepishly, then we see that they are ahead of the cart with Shaggy. Now Scooby and Shaggy in the same cart again, but they hit the end of the line and crash into a bunch of barrels. They all roll on the tumbling barrels down an embankment. They yelp and moan and scream. Fred, Daphne and Velma are at the bottom, as Fred is no longer covered with flour.)
Fred: Look out!
(Shaggy and Scooby-Doo roll offscreen and we hear another crash. They lie on the now-broken barrels.)
Velma: Are you guys all right?
Fred: Hey, what happened to Daphne?
Daphne: (from inside a hole with broken planks) I fell down in here.
Fred: Wouldn't you know it? Danger-prone Daphne fell into a mineshaft.
Scooby-Doo: Ri'll get her.
Shaggy: You'll get her?
(We see Scooby reaching into the mine shaft as Shaggy holds onto Scooby’s tail. But Scooby pulls up the Miner.)
Velma: It's the Miner '49er!
(Scooby lets go of the Miner, whom falls back into the shaft. Daphne pulls herself out of the shaft.)
Daphne: Hey, gang. There's a maze of secret passages down there. And guess what I saw in that mine.
Fred: Yeah. We saw him too.
Velma: I guess Hank wasn't kidding about that ancient miner.
Weird voice: OooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!
Daphne: Do you suppose that's the miner moaning?
Shaggy: (smiling) Well, like, if I had a face like that, I'd moan too.
Velma: Hey, look. (picks up a wire) I found a clue. It seems that this wire... leads up to that speaker.
Fred: Now things are beginning to make a little sense.
Velma: And I have a hunch what we'll find at the other end of this wire.
(Now the Mystery Inc. gang stands near a reel-to-reel tape recorder and microphone, along with two jars of a brown liquid.
Velma: I was right. A tape recorder.
Fred: Well, that accounts for the mysterious moaning.
Shaggy: (opens a jar) Hey, look what I found. Like, jars of chocolate syrup!
Scooby-Doo: (smacks his tongue) Ooh?
Fred: Chocolate syrup, nothing. That's samples of crude oil.
Daphne: Oil? In a gold mine?
Fred: Hey, this mystery is really getting mysterious.
Velma: And what about our mysterious miner?
Fred: I've got a hunch he'll show up soon. Let's borrow this microphone... and, Shaggy, we'll need you too.
(We fade to the Miner '49er walking down the tunnel...)
Voice: Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug, NNNNNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
(The Miner turns to the source of the noise and is horrified to see a flashing headlight off in the distance. We see that the light is really from Scooby-Doo pushing some kind of cart down the tracks as the wheels make a slight squeaking sound, on top of the cart is a high-powered lamp and underneath is a speaker. Back at the tape recorder, Shaggy is making train noises into the microphone.
Shaggy: Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug NNNNNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Velma: Listen to that Shaggy go!
Daphne: And Scooby's great at being a train.
Shaggy: Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug NNNNNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug...
(Scooby continues pushing the cart down the rails, and we see the "headlight" roll into the camera and engulf the screen in rapidly-flashing white and yellow lights. The Miner '49er runs for it as Scooby chases him through the tunnel and Shaggy continues his train noises. Then the Miner runs into a tool shed, and Fred slams the door on him.) Shaggy: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Fred: Got him! (the light gets brighter)
Fred: Oh, no! Scooby can't stop!
(The "train" begins careening towards Fred...)
Shaggy: …chug-chug-chug-chug! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
(As the bright light engulfs the screen again, Fred scrambles to get out of the way, and then Scooby and his cart crash into the tool shed, wrecking it.)
Daphne: Scooby went right through the shack. He's got him!
Velma: I hope.
(They walk over to the crash site and see the Miner ‘49er hanging on for dear life from the end of the broken shed.)
Fred: Hey, that's gotta be the miner.
Daphne: But where's Scooby?
(Scooby-Doo is hanging onto the Miner’s boots.)
Scooby-Doo: Yow! Help!
(The boots slip right off the Miner’s feet, revealing short stilts underneath, tied onto small black shoes. Scooby falls to the ground, and lands unhurt, holding onto the boots.)
Shaggy: Look! Stilts!
Velma: Shaggy's right. He IS wearing stilts.
Fred: Then this can only be one person... (removes the hat and beard from the Miner, revealing…) Hank.
Velma and Daphne: Hank?!
Hank: Aww, dagnabit!
(Now we fade to the next morning, with the human Mystery Inc. members standing with Hank.)
Big Ben: So it was old Hank who was scaring off my guests?
Fred: To force you out of business.
Velma: That way, he could buy the guest ranch, the ghost town...
Shaggy: (smiling) And, like, the mine for almost nothin'.
Big Ben: Then there must still be gold in that old mine.
Daphne: Not "gold." Black gold.
Big Ben: You mean OIL?!
Shaggy: Like, right!
(Scooby slurps his tongue and sees something offscreen and walks off. He comes up to an apple orchard, with the stilts lying nearby.)
Big Ben: But how did Hank know about the oil?
Daphne: He accidentally found the secret mine entrance in the old hotel safe.
Velma: And instead of gold, he found oil.
Fred: He had the exact location laid out on a map.
Shaggy: Then he, like, hid the map in the cigar-store Indian for safekeeping.
Big Ben: Too bad. We could've been partners.
Fred: Now, instead of being rich, he's in jail.
Shaggy: Hey, like, what happened to Scooby?
Daphne: There he is.
(Scooby-Doo is standing on the stilts, using them to pick apples.)
Fred: Scooby, look out for that gopher hole!
(The stilt slips in the hole.)
Scooby-Doo: Ooh. Whoa. Whoa!
(Scooby wobbles and falls into a water tub, dropping the apples.)
Shaggy: One of those apples better be for me.