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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Krusty Kleaners" from season eleven, which aired on August 7, 2018.

Transcript

  • [The episode begins with SpongeBob making a Krusty Krab delivery. He rides his unicycle to a local company building and parks it at the parking rack.]
  • SpongeBob: Delivery! [gets caught in the spinning doors] Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! [screams as he is sent flying into the security guard's desk; he gets up and he's dizzy] Delivery. [pops out his eye]
  • Security Guard: Will you ever learn how to use those doors?
  • SpongeBob: Never!
  • [SpongeBob gets up, puts his eye back in his face, and walks over to the elevator. He goes up the elevator and exits it. He enters the office and tries to find which one of the workers ordered the delivery.]
  • Boss: [comes out from her office] Has anybody seen my delivery? [goes back in]
  • SpongeBob: Delivery coming!
  • [SpongeBob takes off his shoe, pulls out a pogo stick and pogoes over the workers. He pogoes onto a worker's keyboard.]
  • Worker #1: Wow!
  • [SpongeBob pogoes on another worker's keyboard.]
  • Nathaniel: Hey!
  • [SpongeBob pogoes on a worker's head and pogoes over to a skeleton of Davy Jones.]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, I've heard of this. Davy Jones' cubicle.
  • [SpongeBob pogoes into the boss's office wall and enters through the door.]
  • SpongeBob: Your delivery, ma'am. [the bag slips out of his hand] Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! [gibbers] Whoa! [gibbers]
  • [SpongeBob struggles to grab the bag before it falls to the ground. He gets himself tied up in a knot with his arms, but manages to catch the bag with his foot.]
  • SpongeBob: Whew!
  • [Suddenly, the bag rips. A Krabby Patty and a milkshake splatter all over the floor.]
  • SpongeBob: [groans] Oh, no! A delicious Krusty Krab disaster! [goes to scoop the milkshake back in the cup] Call the shore patrol! Get an ambulance! Does anyone know CSR? Chocolate shake resuscitation? [rolls himself over the milkshake stain and gets himself covered with it; he wrings the milkshake into the cup]
  • Boss: It's alright. Just leave it. [resumes her work]
  • SpongeBob: [sips the milkshake with a stray from the floor] Here! You can drink it from here! See? [drinks really hard until his sucks the straw into his face; he pulls it off] It's too late. I did all I could, but it wasn't enough. I'll just clean up the remains.
  • [SpongeBob grabs the boss's files and whips the milkshake stain with them.]
  • Boss: Enough! Just go. I'm busy.
  • SpongeBob: In ancient times, one would fall under sword by way of apology. We at the Krusty Krab keep that tradition. [pulls out his spatula, pretends to commit seppuku and falls flat; the boss couldn't care less and SpongeBob gets up] And now that that's out of the way, I am going to give you the Krusty Krab Customer Service Pledge of Satisfaction. [holds up the pledge of satisfaction paper] I pledge to come back here tonight and clean this carpet and make it shine! [opens the doors] As a matter of fact, I'll clean all your offices and all your cubicles. Courtesy of the Krusty Krab. [leaves]
  • Boss: No need. We have a cleaning robot that does it all at night.
  • [The scene changes to nighttime. The building is now closed and the security guard prepares to leave for the night.]
  • Security Guard: [talking through his cellphone] No, Mom. I'm not double-checking that the doors are locked. Stop nagging me. [his phone chatters and he sighs] I love you too. [leaves]
  • [SpongeBob comes strolling to the building with a cleaning cart. And Patrick is accompanying him for his assistance in completing the task.]
  • SpongeBob: Thanks for lending me your cleaning cart, Patrick.
  • Patrick: [gnawing on a broom] Cleaning cart? I thought this was a food cart.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick enter, but get caught in the spinning door.]
  • Both: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
  • Patrick: Best door ever!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick fly out from the spinning doors.]
  • SpongeBob: Hold on!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick enter the elevator. But a gum wrapper falls onto the floor. The trash robot the boss mentioned about earlier picks up the wrapper.]
  • Trash robot: Trash. [burns the wrapper and leaves]
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick exit the elevator.]
  • SpongeBob: Oh!
  • Patrick: Don't hit anything!
  • SpongeBob: Look out! Look out!
  • Patrick: Oh-ho, watch it!
  • SpongeBob: Look out! Look out!
  • Patrick: [screams] Paper shredder!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick crash into the Shredinator 3000 paper shredder and little pieces of shredded paper fly everywhere.]
  • Patrick: [gleefully laughs and sticks his tongue out like his catching snowflakes] Those two shreds are alike.
  • SpongeBob: [covered in shredded paper and looks like a snowman] Let's start here and make our way to the milkshake stain.
  • [The scene changes to Patrick breaking a watercooler and filling a bucket up with water. He goes into a cubicle and throws water on the computer. The computer sparks. Patrick takes a mop and mops up everything.]
  • Patrick: [sings while he mops] ♪Working guy, working guy, working guy, working guy.♪
  • [SpongeBob goes into a stockholder office and uses the blower to blow several papers. He blows the chairs away from the table and blows them out the window. Patrick is scrubbing the ceiling with the floor scrubber. But some of the tiles fall over and crash on the floor. One tile hits a worker, who is working late in his cubicle. He puts a tiny umbrella on his head. The trash robot comes in through the elevator and sees the mess SpongeBob and Patrick made.]
  • Trash robot: Trash! [examines the big mess] Trash. [picks up the shred with its arms and eats them] Trash. [picks up all of the papers, forms into a ball, eats them, and rolls off] Trash!
  • [SpongeBob is vacuuming the particles from the floor. Patrick is goofing around, laughing and running all over the place. The vacuum puffs up dust and Patrick fills in pants with it. He floats up and down and goes back to running. He accidentally bumps into a cubicle, which resulted in knocking all of them over like dominoes. One wall falls on the worker.]
  • Patrick: Can I just say, "Oops?"
  • SpongeBob: Uh, not a problem. Uh, we'll just put 'em all back up the way they were.
  • [The scene changes to SpongeBob and Patrick putting all of the cubicle walls back up.]
  • SpongeBob: There. Good as new.
  • [The scene pans out and reveals that SpongeBob and Patrick end up making a maze instead of making them separate cubicles.]
  • Patrick: Uh, how do we get out of here?
  • SpongeBob: Uh, maybe this way? [he and Patrick walk to the left, but end up going back to where they started] Oh, uh, or this way.
  • [The scene shows them digitalized as video game characters and resembles it into a maze game of Pac-Man. SpongeBob and Patrick go into different directions, while the trash robot tracks them.]
  • SpongeBob: [sees a candy wrapper on the floor] Oh! Missed one.
  • Trash robot: [grabs the wrapper] Trash!
  • SpongeBob: Hey, that's mine! I'm cleaning these offices! [snatches the wrapper from the trash robot] Patrick, catch! [throws the wrapper to Patrick]
  • [Patrick jumps up and eats the wrapper. But he falls onto a desk. The trash robot scans Patrick and finds the wrapper in his stomach.]
  • Trash robot: Trash! [blazes fire and holds out a sharp blade]
  • Patrick: No!
  • SpongeBob: Run!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick run from the trash robot. The trash robot chases them in hot pursuit. SpongeBob and Patrick climb over a wall. The trash robot slices through it with the blade. SpongeBob and Patrick take cover in the copy room. SpongeBob slips on some papers and crashes into the copier. Patrick goes to pull SpongeBob out, but the trash robot slices through the door. Patrick pulls SpongeBob out and they both run out. The trash robot puts a bandage on the copier.]
  • Trash robot: Boo-boo.
  • [The trash robot flares up and chases SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob and Patrick run down the hall and hide into the kitchen. Patrick crashes into the soda machine and SpongeBob crashes into the coffee maker. SpongeBob removes the coffee pot from his head and gets coffee all over himself.]
  • SpongeBob: Oh no! I'm bleeding! [licks the coffee] It's okay. It's decaf.
  • [Patrick groans in pain as he slides off the soda machine.]
  • Trash robot: Trash, trash, trash.
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, why is this happening?
  • Trash robot: [comes in the kitchen] Trash, trash, trash, trash, trash. [scans everything in the kitchen and detects SpongeBob and Patrick as trash] Trash. [SpongeBob and Patrick grin nervously; the trash robot blazes fire over its head] Trash!
  • SpongeBob: Um, eh. Look you, garbage can thing. I don't know what we did to you, but I made a Krusty Krab pledge to your boss to clean these offices.
  • [The trash robot wouldn't listen to SpongeBob's pleas and shoots a broom in his mouth. It grabs Patrick and goes to burn him.]
  • Patrick: Ow! My rump is roasting!
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick may be trashy, [Patrick burps] but he's not trash!
  • [SpongeBob leaps onto the trash robot and fights with it. The trash robot lets Patrick go and flings him into the sink.]
  • SpongeBob: Ah! Ah! Whoa! Stop that! Whoa! Oh!
  • [Patrick's butt is cooled off. Patrick takes a spoon and drinks some of the dishwater.]
  • Patrick: Hmm, Patrick soup.
  • SpongeBob: Ah! Ah! Whoa! Stop that! Whoa! Oh!
  • [The trash robot grabs SpongeBob goes to attack him. But SpongeBob retaliates by jumping on its back and make it spit out fire. The trash robot spins rapidly around and hits SpongeBob against the wall several times. They crash into the broom closet where SpongeBob ties up the trash robot.]
  • SpongeBob: Sorry to do this, but you'll have to stay here until we finish cleaning. [picks up a paper] Here. This should tie you over 'till we're done. [feeds the trash robot the paper]
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick enter the main office.]
  • SpongeBob: Whew, finally! Patrick, meet the main stain that I disdain.
  • Patrick: Ha, ha, ha!
  • SpongeBob: [picks up a cleaner] Oh, what do you know? This cleaner contains saliva enzymes that break down chocolate particles. Hmm. You know if we wanted to, we could just—
  • [Patrick is licking the stain off the floor with his tongue.]
  • Patrick: Way ahead of ya!
  • SpongeBob: Make room!
  • [SpongeBob joins Patrick in licking the stain off the floor with their tongues. They hear a loud thud, but resume the task. The trash robot breaks free from the broom closet, fixes the copier, and takes control of it.]
  • Trash robot: Eliminate intruders!
  • [The copier operates itself and hops away from the outlet. The trash robot then takes control of the coffeemaker, the microwave oven, the pencil sharpener, the paper shredder and and the soda machine. Together, all of the machines march out to destroy SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob continue to lick the stain off the floor, until a drop of coffee falls on his head.]
  • SpongeBob: Ew. Patrick, stop sweating on me.
  • Patrick: I ran out of sweat an hour ago. [his dried tongue breaks off]
  • [Another drop of coffee falls on SpongeBob. They look up and see the coffeemaker dangling on the ceiling with its cord.]
  • Both: Ahh! Coffee killer!
  • [The coffeemaker falls from the ceiling and SpongeBob and Patrick run out. A shadow looms in from behind them. They turn and see the trash robot.]
  • SpongeBob: You again?
  • [A soda machine rolls next to the trash robot.]
  • Patrick: Oh, good! Soda! I was getting thirsty again.
  • [The soda machine shoots soda into Patrick's mouth. The soda machine then shoots various sodas at SpongeBob and Patrick. They both dodge the incoming sodas like dodging bullets.]
  • SpongeBob: This is not refreshing! [gets soda flung in his eyes and the soda sprays out, making him fall backwards]
  • [Patrick picks up a soda, shakes it, opens it, and throws it like a bomb. The soda explodes and sends the soda machine crashing into a wall. The wall breaks apart and falls outside the building. The trash robot snaps its fingers. SpongeBob gets grabbed by the copier and closes its lid several times. The copier then copies SpongeBob onto various papers.]
  • Patrick: Man, you do not take a bad picture! [shows a crude picture of SpongeBob made by the copier]
  • [The copier spits out SpongeBob.]
  • SpongeBob: Whoa!
  • [SpongeBob flies into the paper shredder and gets shredded up. Patrick opens the shredder and pulls SpongeBob out.]
  • Patrick: Hang in there, buddy! Hang in there! [grabs a bottle of glue and makes an nearly successful attempt to glue SpongeBob together]
  • [Patrick goes somewhere and SpongeBob fixes himself up. Patrick comes back with a tank.]
  • Patrick: [comes out from the hatch] Hey!
  • SpongeBob: Hey, where'd you get the tank, Patrick?
  • Patrick: It's what this company makes. Tanks.
  • [SpongeBob looks and sees tank-themed advertisements, tank posters, a tank sculpture, a first place trophy in in tanks, and even a tank mobile, behind his back.]
  • SpongeBob: How did I not notice that? [grabs the cleaning products] We'll use these as ammunition! [stuffs the tank with the cleaning products]
  • [The trash robot and his machine army search for SpongeBob and Patrick. They stop and see SpongeBob riding a tank.]
  • Trash robot: Retreat! Retreat!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick fire the tank. They shoot a plunger on the copier. The copier crashes into the wall. The wall breaks apart and falls outside the building. The fourth, third and second floor of the building crash down onto one another. The paper shredder tries to escape, but SpongeBob and Patrick fire the tank at it with the plunger. The paper shredder crashes into another wall. The wall breaks apart and falls outside the building. The upper floors then crash down onto the first floor. The trash robot emerges from the rubble and is completely wrecked up. It bumps into the tank and becomes afraid, thinking that SpongeBob and Patrick are going to hurt it.]
  • Patrick: [comes out from the hatch] Hello!
  • [The trash robot surrenders the war and waves a little white flag. The trash robot goes to leave.]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, trash bot! [throws a chunk of the building to the trash robot and it eats it]
  • Trash robot: Yummy, trash.
  • [The last wall breaks apart and falls outside the building. Now, the entire building is completely destroyed. The scene changes to SpongeBob and Patrick finally cleaning the stain off the floor of the main office right before dawn.]
  • SpongeBob: SpongeBob SquarePants always keeps his word. That carpet is clean.
  • Patrick: And I helped!
  • SpongeBob: You sure did, buddy! Come on, pal. Let's go get us a snack.
  • Patrick: Oh, I like that sound, SpongeBob!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick leave the building as it now stands in ruin. Meanwhile, the worker, who was not aware of the destruction, gets up from his chair, stretches and prepares to leave. However, he falls downward. The security guard enters the ruins of the building and catches the worker. He sees the place completely destroyed and drops the worker.]
  • Security Guard: I quit.
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