February 3, 1999
"Mime for a Change"
(Opening shot: the city skyline during a beautiful morning.)
Narrator: The city of Townsville!
(Turn quickly down to the street and pan along it as he continues. We see people of all sorts traveling on foot and wheels, on their way to some recreation.)
Narrator: And look! The wonderful citizens of Townsville, or "Townies," as I like to call them, are gathering in Townsville Park for a day of fun-filled activities. What joy! (He laughs loudly.)
(On the latter part of this line, the camera reaches the park, which is filled with families enjoying themselves at picnics and games. After a few seconds, the Narrator cuts himself off abruptly.)
Narrator: (coldly) But one place in Townsville Park is not filled with fun activity.
(Fade to black during this line, then snap to...)
Narrator: Townsville Volcano Mountain! (Zoom in slowly on the observatory.) For on top of this mountain lies the lair...
(Dissolve to a long shot of Mojo Jojo, fast asleep in bed inside, and zoom in slowly as he continues.)
Narrator: ...of the revengeful, resentful, spiteful, lawbreaking, mad, swindling, thieving, malicious, extorting, assaulting, crooked, torturous, dishonest, complaining, wicked, indecent, menacing, touchy, swarthy, shadowy, villainous villain of all time.
(At the end of this, dissolve to a close-up of a digital alarm clock. The time is '8:59'. Two toy monkeys hold hammers near a bell on top of the unit.)
Narrator: And he calls himself...
(The time advances and the monkeys start ringing the bell. Mojo reaches into view and shuts the alarm off; pull back to show him now sitting up in bed and looking much the way normal people do when they first get up - not very good, that is. He wears striped pajamas and a matching nightcap.)
Narrator: ...Mojo Jojo! Oh, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
(Ignorant of the Narrator's hateful remark, Mojo yawns and slides his feet into a pair of slippers by the bed before shuffling across the lair toward a huge, closed hatch with a console in front of it. He reaches this and presses a button; the hatch slides open to give him a view of the bright, beaming sun just outside. It is enough to bring him fully awake as his face takes on an angry scowl and grimace.)
Mojo: (low voice) Curses. (The hatch closes.)
(A message flashes up on a screen: "Morning Preparation Sequence Activated!" Mojo, still looking quite out of sorts, is carried across the lair on a conveyor belt to stop behind a red screen. Now he is visible as a silhouette. First, several mechanical arms reach in to strip him of his clothes. These retract and are replaced by showerheads that drench him with steaming hot water; he jumps and grunts at the feel of it on his skin. The showerheads give way to a large heat lamp that dries him in seconds. Now back in his pajamas, he slides out and opens his mouth so that another arm can brush his teeth. His braincap is lowered and set into place on his head; at this point, he has the rest of his villain outfit on and is standing with his back to us. Once the cap is adjusted properly, he turns toward the camera - he is now properly dressed for another day of trying to run Townsville ragged.)
Mojo: Now to have some breakfast!
(Cut to inside a refrigerator. It opens, revealing him standing at it and looking in. The egg tray has only one occupant, a fact that immediately causes him great consternation.)
Mojo: One egg left?!
(This is enough to set him off on a rant.)
Mojo: For a nutritious breakfast, two eggs is the minimum requirement! And I have but one, which is one I assume! And that here's two that I need! (low voice) Curses.
(He starts across the lair, cape trailing in all its glory.)
Mojo: I must immediately purchase some eggs, for I need to have breakfast. And without the eggs, I cannot have the breakfast that I shall require.
(Cut to outside his door; he steps out, slams it, and starts down the stairs, the camera following. It takes him some time to reach the ground. When he gets to the bridge over the moat around the mountain, he stops short and starts to pat himself down frantically. Finally, he realizes...)
Mojo: I have forgotten my wallet! (low voice) Curses.
(He stomps back up the stairs, goes inside, and slams the door behind himself. Wipe to ground level as he reaches the moat again. Now there are several kids swimming and playing on both sides of the bridge. Again he stops short - this time, he is furious.)
Mojo: Hey, you kids Get out of my moat! It is not made to be played in!
(The kids regard him silently for a moment, then go right back to what they were doing. He heads off across the park, threading his way through the happy picnickers.)
Mojo: (to himself) I must remember to destroy those kids after my breakfast has been eaten.
(A dog and cat chase each other, circling him as he walks along with his head down. After they leave him alone, a Frisbee sails into view and hits him in the head.)
Picnicker: (from o.c.) Sorry, dude!
(Now several kids run around him, as does a father playing "horsey" with his son. Mojo passes a beefy kid raising a football over his head.)
Beefy kid: All right! Touchdown!
Mojo: (to himself) Stupid people.
(He stops when he reaches a group of people at the sidewalk. Next to him is a boy licking an ice cream cone loudly; we can hear a personal stereo as well. The camera pulls back across the street to show everyone waiting at a crosswalk. A fat boy crunches away at a snack, chewing with his mouth open, and a black girl with blond-dyed hair snaps her fingers. She is the one with the stereo. Cars roll past in both directions, and the signal displays "DON'T WALK." Mojo stands among the group, with all these distractions around him, and looks as if he would gladly trade his surroundings in for any others as he does his best to endure it.)
(Pan from one person to the next. The boy licking his ice cream. The black girl, with the fat boy behind her. A woman gossiping with her friend.)
Woman: a-So worrier brought her new boyfriend over, and he's a doctor, so I said, "Doctor, could you look at my hip?" It was hurting.
(On the end of this line, pan from her to a full view of the loud chewer. Back to Mojo.)
Mojo: Please change.
(The traffic signal pays no mind to his plea. The boy with the ice cream keeps licking away; the black girl keeps snapping; the fat boy keeps chewing; the woman keeps talking.)
Woman: So he said he wouldn't do it, so I said, "What, you're too schmaltzy to make a house call?" (Back to Mojo.)
(The traffic signal still ignores his request. Zoom in slowly on him. It is clear his anger is boiling over in his head, but he attempts to show no sign of being ready to snap any second.)
(Finally, it does so, and Mojo starts across.)
Mojo: Accursed people. (He walks o.c; the others follow.)
(Wipe to the Townsville Market. Inside, an employee inspects a shelf of goods while humming to himself. Pull back to show Mojo behind him.)
Mojo: (menacingly) Excuse me, sir, but can you please direct me to the location of where I may locate some eggs? For I would like to purchase them so that they can travel home with me and I can eat them today. (Pause.) And maybe tomorrow.
Employee: (cocking an eyebrow at him) Aisle three.
(Mojo looks overhead, and the camera turns up to show that he is, in fact, standing in this same aisle. Back to him, looking somewhat embarrassed; he glances off to his left, and the camera pans in that direction to a shelf right next to him. It is filled with cartons of eggs. The employee smiles over his shoulder and returns to his work, and Mojo stalks away after giving him a rather dirty look.)
(Quick shots of the purchase being rung up, the traffic signal changing to "WALK," eggs being cracked into a frying pan, juice being poured, and toast popping up. The sequence ends with Mojo setting a plate of food on the kitchen table in his lair. Dissolve to him in his seat, the spread in front of him; he is getting ready to read the day's newspaper. Unlike earlier events, he is now calm, collected, and relaxed as he settles in to have breakfast.)
Mojo: Now to catch up on the world's latest events that have happened... (His perspective; he raises the paper.) ...that this paper has reported with the words that they wrote.
(The front page bears a headline in huge black letters and a color photo of the girls' faces against an exploding background.)
Mojo: (reading headline, enraged) "Powerpuff Girls Save the Day"?!
(Pull back quickly across the lair to a silhouetted view of him.)
Mojo: (roaring) CURSES!!! (Closer view.) I swear that today is the day that I will develop a plan so diabolical and evil that I will crush the Powerpuff Girls! But first...
(He stands over the table, which is now littered with dirty dishes, and relents.)
Mojo: I must attend to the dishes that I have soiled with the food that I have eaten.
(A crash of glass startles him out of his plotting; he gasps, surprised, and peeks around the kitchen doorway. A baseball rests on the floor, not far from the door. Around it shows pieces of glass from a newly broken window. Cut to outside as he throws the door open to yell at whoever is responsible for this affront.)
Mojo: Hey, you rotten children! How many times do I have to tell you...
(Looking down the stairs, he cuts himself off suddenly. The girls are flying straight up the side of the mountain toward him. Bubbles wears a red baseball cap turned backward and is chewing something; Buttercup looks very cross. Mojo ducks in and slams the door, leaning up against it with total panic settling on his face. On the next line, zoom into an extreme close-up of his eyes.)
Mojo: The Powerpuff Girls?! Here?! Now?!
(Pull back; he regains his usual evil composure and laughs triumphantly, after which the camera cuts to an extreme close-up of his face and pans slowly across on the next line.)
Mojo: Oh, how sweet my vengeance will be! (Pull back.) My plan that I have planned will surely crush the puny Powerpuff Girls, as easily as I crush a bug!
(He laughs again, but cuts himself off. Now he looks much as he did when he found out that he had left his wallet behind.)
Mojo: But wait! With my unforeseen delay in breakfast, I have yet to devise such a plan. (pacing) But rarely will an opportunity be as ripe as this to destroy the girls! (stopping) I must stall them. But how?
(He now has his back to the door again; a loud pounding is heard from the other side. He looks nervously into the peephole and sees the girls on his doorstep. The glass distorts his perspective to make their heads look even bigger than normal.)
Blossom: Hey, Mojo? I think our ball crashed through your window. Can we have it back?
Mojo: The ball? (Pan to it, then cut back to him.) Oh, uh...one moment, please. (to himself, holding up the ball) Yes, yes, the ball! I will hide the ball, and the Powerpuff Girls will have to retrieve it. But they will not find it because I have hidden it. And they will have to stay here until I destroy them! And then there will be no more Powerpuff Girls! (He chuckles.)
(Meanwhile, the girls are still on his doorstep, looking as they did when they were first seen.)
Blossom: (knocking) Mojo? Are you home?
Buttercup: Come on, let's go. He's not home.
(The door creaks open, showing darkness within, and the girls turn toward it. Now we see that the front of Bubbles' cap carries "PP" in black letters. Mojo steps out of the gloom, wearing his usual menacing expression, but this gives way to a welcoming smile.)
Mojo: Oh, hello, girls. What can I do for you?
(Pull back in quick steps as he starts to laugh madly. When this subsides, cut to the girls. Blossom looks uneasy, while Buttercup shows off one of her many scowls. Bubbles, standing between them, chews happily away. A tense moment of silence.)
Blossom: Uh...yeah. Well, Mojo Jojo, we were playing catch, and Buttercup threw the ball too hard. And I think it broke through your window.
Buttercup: Well, it wouldn't have happened if Bubbles could catch.
Bubbles: (to Buttercup) Well, I would have caught it if you threw it straight!
Bubbles: That's right, you throw crooked!
Buttercup: You better take that back!
Bubbles: (crossing her eyes) Hi, I'm Buttercup. (throwing an imaginary ball) Catch!
Mojo: Girls, girls! It is no trouble at all. Please, come in and I will return to you your ball.
(Wipe to the inside of the lair. The four stand in an area appointed with various items of living room furniture: lamp, rug, couch, armchair, and so forth.)
Mojo: Please wait here until I can locate your ball and give it back to you, so it can be in your possession once more. (He walks o.c.)
(Bubbles, still chewing, starts to look around herself. She and the others are brought to attention when the monkey suddenly leans down to them.)
Mojo: And do not touch anything! (moving o.c.) Now, where did I put that ball?
(Bubbles blows a bubble, which promptly pops - she has been working on a wad of gum. The door slams behind Mojo; on the other side, in another room, he leans against it and laughs evilly.)
Mojo: How wonderful! They are unaware of the evil that will soon be upon them! Now...
(In front of him is a considerable array of weapons: armed robots, lasers, missiles, bombs, swords, even a few mousetraps.)
Mojo: ...what to use? Hmmm...
(Pan across the arsenal as he speaks, putting him out of view. The camera stops on a large raygun - easily four or five stories tall and at least twice as long - with a control panel at its base and a seat for its operator. Mojo gasps softly, as if an idea has just come to him.)
Mojo: (from o.c.) Oh, yes, yes! This might just do the trick!
Bubbles: (from the outer room) Ooh! What's this?
(The sound of her voice causes him to turn in surprise; cut to her in the outer room, reaching toward a vase on a pedestal. Behind her, the eyes of a painting on the wall are slid away and replaced by Mojo's - he is using this for a peephole. Back to him.)
Mojo: Egad! My Ming Dynasty vase! (turning away) The object of the very first crime that I committed!
(Back to Bubbles. Mojo rushes up to stop her from fooling with the vase.)
Mojo: DO NOT TOUCH!! (softer tone) Uh...it is very valuable.
Bubbles: Yeah? (She blows another bubble, which pops.)
Mojo: (chuckling wearily) Yeah.
(Cut to the couch. All three girls are now in front of it, and Mojo turns away and starts across the lair again.)
Mojo: Now do not touch anything. (walking o.c.) I will return shortly with the object that is not found.
(In the weapons room, he slams the door again.)
Mojo: Accursed, annoying Powerpuffs! Now, where was I?
(Cut to the large raygun again; it is seen from various angles on the next line as he speaks both on and off camera.)
Mojo: Ah, yes! The Giganto-Destructo-Powerpuffo Ray! The only ray giant enough to destroy the Powerpuff Girls!
(He catches the sound of giggling from the outer room and turns angrily toward it.)
Mojo: What is with the funny laughing? There shall be no giggling in the lair of Mojo!
(When he bursts out of the weapons room, he finds them on the couch, having a good laugh over something. He gasps sharply in embarrassment; close-up of the girls, with a photo album, spread open before them.)
Mojo: (from o.c.) My photo album
Bubbles: (giggling) Oh, Mojo, you were so cute
(The other girls laugh at her words, and as she finishes, she holds the album up to the camera. We see pictures of a baby Mojo sucking his thumb, crying in his high chair with a bowl of mush in front of him, and crawling naked toward the camera. "Cute" is questionable, but the contrast between then and now is indeed very comical. However, the grown-up Mojo has a very different opinion; he yells and snatches the album away from the girls. Buttercup keeps laughing to herself.)
Mojo: (furious) I must reiterate: No touching of anything!
Bubbles: (flying to the vase) Even this?
Mojo: Especially that! (The door slams again.)
(In the weapons room, the chair behind Mojo's item of choice rises into view, carrying him up to the controls.)
Mojo: Yes, yes The time has almost come! (adjusting controls) Now to set the coordinates!
(Cut to behind him; he is watching a large monitor, with a set of crosshairs centered on the couch. However, the girls are no longer seated on it.)
Mojo: Wait! Where did they go? (The view shifts a few times.) They are nowhere to be found!
(He runs back into the outer room and stops near the armchair.)
Mojo: (softly) Powerpuff Girls? (louder) Oh, Powerpuff Girls? (still louder) Where are those accursed girls?!
(Buttercup zips up behind him and shoves him o.c.)
Buttercup: Tag! You're it! (Pan to him, up against a wall and rubbing his head.)
Mojo: Tag?! What kind of foolishness is this?!
(Across the room, each girl pops into view from behind a box for her next line, then ducks away again.)
Blossom: We're hiding!
Buttercup: You're seeking!
Bubbles: Yeah! (She blows and pops another bubble.)
Mojo: Stop this nonsense immediately!
(He leaps to the box and picks it up, but the girls are no longer behind it.)
Mojo: But...they were just here in this place where I am looking!
(The sound of their giggling draws his attention; pan to the armchair, which is nearby. The end of Blossom's ponytail and the tips of her shoes give away the girls' hiding place. He picks up the chair, revealing them.)
Mojo: Ha! I have located you! (They zip away in different directions.) Wait! Stop!
(He stands up and seethes for a moment as he tries to control his building anger at being unable to get them to hold still long enough to blast them with his weapon, then has a sudden flash of inspiration.)
Mojo: Aha! (softly) Oh, Powerpuff Girls, I have some candy for you.
(On the end of this line, he produces a bag from behind his back. This gets an instant response from the girls; they pop up from behind the couch.)
(They fly across the room and are on top of him in a flash, licking suckers happily. Blossom sits on his head, Buttercup on his back, Bubbles by his feet. He looks positively disgusted at their inadvertent success in screwing up his plan to eradicate them.)
(Wipe to a long shot of the girls on the couch. Mojo stands near the camera, his back to us.)
Mojo: Now stay on this couch until I return with your ball that I have been seeking!
(His cape sweeps across the screen; behind it, the scene changes to the rear end of the oversized raygun. Mojo is once again lifted into view on his perch.)
Mojo: These disruptions have caused me quite a delay. (Zoom in slowly on him.) But Mojo's time of revenge has arrived!
(On the end of this line, pull back again. The girls fly up on either side and surprise the bejesus out of him.)
Girls: HI, MOJO!!
Mojo: Powerpuff Girls! What are you doing here?!
Blossom: Well, we decided to help you look for our ball.
Buttercup: Eight eyes are better than two.
Bubbles: Yeah! (Another bubble, which pops very close to his ear.)
Blossom: Powerpuff Girls, spread, and search! (The girls zip away in different directions.)
(Blossom stops at a table loaded with flasks of chemicals. She picks up a rack full of test tubes and checks under it.)
Blossom: Not here!
(She darts away, dropping the rack to smash on the table. Buttercup rips a large piece of machinery loose and looks behind it.)
Buttercup: Or here!
(Bubbles jumps into a large aquarium. The fish are a bit taken aback by her presence.)
Bubbles: Or here!
(Mojo cannot believe the ruckus they are causing.)
Mojo: My beakers! My machines! My aquarium! MY LABORATORY!!
(Now Blossom tears a hole in the floor, Buttercup melts the ceiling with her eye lasers, and Bubbles dumps the contents of a flask onto the floor. Blossom plows through one of the robots in the weapons room, and Buttercup smashes up through the floor. None of these efforts produce the missing baseball, but they do work Mojo's last good nerve.)
(Incredibly, they actually do so; Buttercup has another piece of equipment held above her head. Cut to the outer room. During the next line, the door opens and Mojo pushes them across the floor toward the couch.)
Mojo: (rapid fire) I have just remembered where I put your ball that you have lost. (Cut to the couch; they are on it again.) Now sit on this couch and do not move. I will bring it back to you here where you are sitting on this couch.
(Back to the controls of the raygun. The chair lifts Mojo into view a third time; cut to his perspective as he works the keyboard quickly. The crosshairs are centered on the couch again, and all three girls are right where he put them.)
Computer voice: Target locking. Check power level.
(The display changes to show several bar-graph readouts, with the title "POWER LEVELS.")
Mojo: Power levels at optimum efficiency.
(The couch pops up on the display again, but now Bubbles is gone.)
Computer voice: Target locked. (Close-up of Mojo.)
Mojo: Wait! Where is Powerpuff Girl Bubbles?!
(Back to the screen. Bubbles is reaching for the vase again, even after being told to stay put because Mojo would return their baseball in a short moment if they did as they were told.)
Computer voice: Destructo Ray will fire in ten seconds.
Mojo: (running across the room) NOOOOOOOOO!!!
(His charge and yell are interspersed with shots of Bubbles reaching closer to the vase and finally knocking it from its pedestal. The computer counts down during this sequence. Between "six" and "five," he slides across the floor and catches the vase, then throws an angry look back to Bubbles. She tries to look innocent; on "three," she zips back to the couch, where Buttercup glares at her from the other end for disobeying Mojo when he was about to return their ball to them. Mojo runs into view, his back to the camera, on "two." He is still holding the vase, and sounds very fed up with Bubbles and her antics.)
Mojo: How many times must I tell you not to touch?!
Computer voice: Firing lasers.
Mojo: (turning around, softly) No...
(The lights dim, and a laser beam from above scores a direct hit on him. He yells in extreme pain and is left a smoking, blackened mess on the ground in front of the girls. The vase, however, appears to be completely intact. At least until Bubbles blows another bubble; just after it pops, the Ming heirloom crumbles into dust. Mojo's efforts in keeping it safe having finally failed.)
Mojo: (weakly) Curses...
(He stands up, suddenly angry, and thrusts the ball at them.)
Mojo: Here! Here! Here! (Cut to outside his front door; all four are on the step.) Get out! Get out! Get out! (The girls fly away.)
Bubbles: Thank you.
Buttercup: Thank you.
Blossom: Thank you.
Mojo: (softly) Curses. Curses. Curses.
(Cut to the city skyline in the morning.)
Narrator: Next day, next day, next day...
(Inside Mojo's lair, the table is again set for breakfast. He is getting ready to read the paper, and again is back to a more casual, relaxed, and pleased mood.)
Mojo: Now to catch up on the world's latest events that have happened... (His perspective as he lifts the paper.) ...that this paper has reported with the words that it wrote.
(This time, the front-page photo shows him giving the baseball back to three happy girls.)
Mojo: (reading the headline, disbelieving) "Mojo Jojo Saves the Day"?..."Returns Powerpuffs' Ball"?
(On the next line, pull back from him, then cuts outside the observatory and keep pulling back.)
Mojo: (drawn-out, roaring) CURSES!
Narrator: And so the day is saved...
(The background for the end shot comes up, and a very angry Mojo appears to be by himself.)
Narrator: ...thanks to Mojo Jojo! You saved the day!
Mojo: I did not.
Narrator: Don't be silly. You gave their ball back.
Mojo: I said I didn't.
Narrator: All right, all right, you didn't. Sheesh. Talk about your monkey.