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Mr. Pickles: Season: 1 - Episode: 8

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Grandpa's Night Out Where is Mr. Pickles?

[incomplete & unfixed/messed]

  • [Birds chirping, cat meows] Hey.
  • Did you know medical waste is good for the environment? Nah, stop pulling my leg.
  • [Laughter] Hey! Quit chewing up my shoe, dog.
  • Mr. Pickles: [Barks]
  • Aah! Aah! Hey, stop pulling my leg! [Screams]
  • Tommy: Mr. Pickles!
  • [Screams]
  • Stanley: [Groans] - Where is that newspaper already?
  • Beverly: It’ll be here.
  • Just relax.
  • Oh, Mr. Pickles.
  • Hmm.
  • Tommy: I know! You can read me my favorite book, dad.
  • Stanley: Sorry, - I have to work.
  • Tommy: Oh, you always - have to work.
  • Grandpa: Ah, I think Mr. Pickles has been doing something to me in my sleep.
  • [Stomach growling]
  • Beverly: Dad, Mr. Pickles is - a good boy.
  • Stanley: Ah, look at him.
  • - No bills, no job.
  • Beverly: Oh, Mr. Pickles.
  • Stanley: Not a care in the world. [Sighs] I wish I was a dog.
  • [Bicycle bell rings]
  • Stanley: Huh?
  • Yeah!
  • Stanley: [Grunts]
  • Beverly: Stanley!
  • Tommy: Dad!
  • - The newspapers be on - digital tablets now, yo!
  • Stanley: I wish I was dog. [Distorted voice] I wish I was a dog. [Normal voice] Huh? Oh. A cat! I gotta get that cat! What the hey! What’s the matter with my legs? Where are my clothes?
  • Tommy: Mr. Goodman!
  • Stanley: Huh? That’s me! That’s me! [Groans] [Panting]
  • Tommy: There you are, Mr. Goodman.
  • Stanley: Uh, call me "dad," Tommy.
  • Tommy: What’s that, boy?
  • Stanley: Huh?
  • Tommy: You want some scratches?
  • - Um Ahh. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
  • Tommy: Dad? Can you do something - with me today?
  • Stanley: Um
  • Tommy: You always rking] Have to work, dad.
  • Stanley: But I’m your dad. Or am I a dog? [Gasps] Oh!
  • Tommy: [Laughing]
  • Beverly: Mr. Pickles.
  • Take out the trash, - mow the lawn, pay the bills
  • Stanley: Wait, I’m not responsible for any of those things. I’m free! I can do whatever I oh.
  • Beverly: You sure are barking up a storm, Mr. Goodman.
  • Stanley: Barking? I’m not oh, look at that leg.
  • I like your leg, I like your leg.
  • Beverly: Mr. Goodman!
  • Grandpa: That Mr. Goodman is evil. Aah!
  • Stanley: Ah, wait! [Screams]
  • Tommy: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up, dad! Come on!
  • - A coma could last forever.
  • Beverly: Oh, no!
  • Tommy: Wake up!
  • [Bell ringing]
  • Beverly: Tommy, please.
  • Tommy: But I want dad - to read my story to me!
  • Beverly: Tommy, go play and let dad rest.
  • - [Laughs evilly] Perfect for harvesting.
  • - Hey, now! How you doin’?
  • Tommy: Terrible! - No!
  • What?
  • Tommy: I’m so mad at the newspaper boy, I don’t know what to do.
  • Yeah, yeah, Tommy.
  • I find that when you’re mad at somebody, you should tell ‘em how you feel.
  • - Hey, ladies! Where you goin’?
  • Tommy: Okay, Mr. Pickles, go watch over dad.
  • [Sniffs] [Wand beeping] Grandpa: Come on.
  • These beeps are coming from the rectal area, sir.
  • Grandpa: What?! We’ve got a packer.
  • - Hurry up, Floyd.
  • Beverly: Hi, guys.
  • - Nice of you to stop by.
  • - Oh, we’re not here for Goodman.
  • We’re here for lunch.
  • Beverly: Oh.
  • - I’m gonna break my record - and eat 1,000 hot dogs.
  • - Get back to work, Goodman.
  • - Hey, what’s that thing do? - Beverly: This book? - You read it? - Oh, yeah? Do do that.
  • Beverly: All right. "There once was a wiggly, windy road that went on and on, wriggling and winding, - wriggling and winding" - Tommy: Come on, Mr. Goodman!
  • Stanley: Ah! A shoe. [Growls] - Whoa!
  • Down, dog.
  • Stanley: Sorry, sorry.
  • Hey, pal.
  • Wanna sniff butts? Stanley: Yes, I do.
  • Oh, yeah.
  • Stanley: Oh, that smells good.
  • Mmm, oaky.
  • Hey, let me get a sniff.
  • Stanley: Very nice.
  • Oh, yeah.
  • Stanley: That is a nice smelling butt you have.
  • Oh, yeah.
  • Tommy: I’m sad.
  • I wanted my dad to do something with me, but he has to work.
  • Well, I could do lots of somethings.
  • - Whee!
  • Tommy: Whee!
  • Stanley: Tommy, you get down from him.
  • - Why you talkin’ to him? - Yeah, he doesn’t know what you’re saying.
  • Nobody does.
  • Stanley: You mean, I can say anything to anyone, - and they can’t understand me?
  • - Dog pile!
  • Stanley: Hey! Come on, you guys. I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!
  • Beverly: "And the road straightened for a moment, then suddenly - it started to wind again." - Damn! I thought it was gonna go straight.
  • Shh!
  • Mr. Pickles: [Growls]
  • Beverly: Oh!
  • Uh, just fluffing - his pillows. [Chuckles]
  • Beverly: Thank you.
  • Read! Read! Read! Read! Shh.
  • Sorry.
  • Print is dead, yo! Read it right here on this new tablet device.
  • I’ll take a paper.
  • Here you go.
  • [Grunts] [Horn blares]
  • Tommy: Hey! Thanks to you, - my dad is in a coma.
  • - Yo, I’m sorry, yo!
  • Tommy: The worst part is, he can’t read me a story.
  • I guess that’s what happens when print is dead.
  • Yo, dawg, we threw the printing press away, but you could write your own book with this! [Typing] Words! Beverly: "And on and on the road went until It kept going. It kept going"
  • Stanley: [Grunts]
  • Pickles!
  • Mr. Pickles: [Barks]
  • Make some sales or your lousy butt is fired.
  • Stanley: Who are you calling a lousy butt, you worthless little snit?!
  • - Huh?
  • Stanley: Boss schmoss.
  • You’re a piece of moss.
  • Boy, that felt good.
  • Get this yapping dog out of here.
  • - He’s disgusting! - Stanley: I hate you! [Growls] Aah, my butt! - I always knew you hated him.
  • - Stanley: Hi, Floyd.
  • - Wait, you can understand me? - You’re in a dream, - Mr. Goodman.
  • Stanley: A dream? I must be your dream guide.
  • Here, let’s see.
  • Oh! I can do this.
  • Whee! Stanley: Whoa.
  • A cat! A cat! I’m gonna get you! Oh, there’s cats everywhere! Hey, shoes! Oh, yeah.
  • [Growling] [Gasps] Bones, bones, bones, bones! [Growls] - Fetch! - Stanley: I’ll get that! [Panting] There he is! [Chuckles] Stanley: Hey, hey! What are you doing? It’s off to the pound with you.
  • - Death row.
  • [Laughs] - Oh, yeah. "If the person dies in their dream, they’ll die in real life, too." Hey, look what else I can do.
  • Stanley: What? Oh, no. No!
  • Beverly: "Down the wiggly, windy road he went. Then he came to another wiggly part of the road and guess what? It was winding."
  • Our x-rays show that you have several items in your rectum.
  • Grandpa: Huh?
  • - One slinky.
  • Grandpa: No!
  • - Part of a guitar.
  • Grandpa: Oh.
  • - One roller skate.
  • Oh! I’m gonna have to get - all the way in there.
  • Grandpa: No, please! [Groans] One empty jar of pickles.
  • - And let’s take lunch, everybody.
  • Grandpa: What? Hello! Mr. Pickles, was that you?
  • Mr. Pickles: [Whines] Why am I in the morgue? Shh.
  • Oh.
  • Oh, yeah, you lookin’ good.
  • What are you doing with that thing? Aah!
  • Mr. Pickles: [Whines]
  • Get all the organs, baby.
  • Then we can pay off our college loans.
  • Well, I’m working on a patient in a coma.
  • He’ll be ready for harvesting soon.
  • [Moaning]
  • Beverly: "The End."
  • [Gasps] Read us another story.
  • Beverly: But I don’t have another book.
  • - Read us a story!
  • All: Read us a story! Read us a story! Read us a story!
  • Stanley: Wait a minute. I don’t like this.
  • [Laughing] Heil, Pitler!
  • Stanley: Hello.
  • - Get in there.
  • Stanley: Whoa. Hey, guys! [Laughing]
  • Stanley: Uh, hi, there. Stanley Goodman.
  • And you are? About to have a party.
  • Get him! Hold him down. Get down.
  • My mother was a chihuahua
  • Stanley: [Chuckles] Guys!
  • And my father was - a St. Bernard. [Spits]
  • Stanley: Hey! Whoa! [Screaming]
  • Welcome to prison, bitch. [Laughs]
  • Stanley: Oh, no! Help!
  • [Monitor beeping] [Paddles thunk]
  • Would you just die already?
  • Mr. Pickles: [Barks]
  • Huh? Quiet! Here. Every dog loves hot dogs.
  • Mr. Pickles: [Whines]
  • Huh? Aah! Oh! You want a quickie?
  • Mr. Pickles: [Panting]
  • You can at least take my clothes off.
  • - A bone, a shoe.
  • Grandpa: What the One cat.
  • [Meows] What’s this? It’s buzzing? Ticking? Metallic? We got a bomb! Nurses: [Gasp] One more hot dog and you’ll beat your record.
  • Hey! We need to ejaculate - the hospital.
  • - Evacuate.
  • That’s what I said.
  • Where to? Patients: Read us a story! Read us a story! Beverly: Just go to the library! Perfect! Nobody goes there anymore.
  • Patients: Read us a story! Read us a story! - Read us a story! - Oh, I’ve been waiting a long time for this, Mr.
  • Goodman.
  • [Laughs] Stanley: Oh, I don’t wanna be a dog anymore.
  • - You’ll die in real life, too.
  • - Stanley: I don’t wanna - be a dog anymore.
  • - You’ll die in real life, too.
  • Stanley: I don’t wanna be a dog anymore.
  • - I smell hot dogs.
  • don’t you? - Patients: Read us a story! Beverly: Yes, uh, I’d like to take out a book.
  • We put them all in storage.
  • You can check your e-mail - if you’d like.
  • [Chuckles] - Tommy: Oh, I have a book.
  • Patients: Hooray! Be quiet.
  • Shh Tommy: My dad.
  • He used to do lots of things with me.
  • One time, he showed me what a turtle was.
  • He showed me what a turtle was.
  • Stanley: Please! D-d-don’t kill me, please.
  • [Laughing] Stanley: Hey, - that’s a turtle.
  • Huh? - Tommy: Wow, - so that’s a turtle.
  • - Stanley: Hey, I know you.
  • Hi, dad! Hi, dad.
  • Stanley: Wait, I think I’m a dad, not a dog.
  • - Huh? My clothes! - Get back here, Mr.
  • Goodman! - Stanley: Oh, no! Oh, no! - Tommy: Another time, my dad showed me how he saved money.
  • Stanley: 70 degrees? I’ll go broke! [Groaning] My legs! I can stand! [Screams] Stanley: Oh.
  • [Screams] Tommy: And then one day, I walked in to wake up my dad, and he had a lump in his pajama pants.
  • What’s that, dad? [Groans] Tommy: Wow! [Chuckles] Stanley: No, Tommy! Don’t touch that! Wait! Beverly: Stanley! Stanley: Aah! - Tommy: [Gasps] Dad! - Welcome back, dawg.
  • Stanley: Dog? Dog.
  • No.
  • Oh, where’s grandpa? False alarm! It was just an alarm clock.
  • Mr.
  • Pickles: [Barks] Stanley: Ohh.
  • - It was just a dream.
  • - Tommy: There’s that thing again.
  • Stanley: No, Tommy, don’t! All: [Gasp] Hot dog! Stanley: Aah! [Camera shutter clicks] Stanley: You know, it’s great that you and Tommy got people to appreciate books again.
  • Tommy: So can you read me my book now? Stanley: Sorry, Tommy.
  • Late for work.
  • Grandpa: Mr.
  • Pickles should go to the pound.
  • Stanley: Well, I think being a dog is a lot harder than some people think.
  • Good boy.
  • Mr.
  • Pickles: [Barking] Help!