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Yes, boss, l have the satellite codes with me. No, l didn't leave them in the truck. You think l'm stupid? Uh-huh. No, they are with me. Ja, l'm inputting them right now. Yeah, l'm working very hard. Say hello to your wife. Oh, she left you. Oh, l'm sorry. Okay, bye. Little puppy. What are you doing here? lt's so cold. Come inside and warm up with Freidrich. Come here. Yes. Hello. Hello. Rex? l found a new companion for you. Say hi to your new friend. Hello. l'm your new friend. We are friends. Rex! Stop it! It's only a little puppy. Now you sound angry. Stop it! He can hear you! Close your mouth. No! Rex! This is so illogical! Rex! Rex, what's wrong with you? Come. Come. Outside. No! Where are your manners? Sit! Sit! Sit down! We have a guest. You will stay out here till you learn how to behave! Oh, no. Locked? But how? Meow. State your business.
Rex: Agent 121 breaking radio silence. l have spotted Kitty Galore. l repeat, l have spotted Kitty Galore. We've all seen his commercials... ...but today it appears Crazy Carlito really is off his rocker. He's claimed his prices are insane. Now it appears he is too. The situation is tense as we wait for someone to come end this standoff. Shane, get over here. Diggs, stay. Give me the situation, captain. We've got a first-class nutcase here. Four hostages inside. All used-car salesmen. l've got mixed feelings about this one. That wacko so much as changes channels on that thing... ...and this whole lot explodes. Only one thing to do here. You are mine. You are so mine. Yeah. l'll do it! -All l can Come any closer and the last thing you'll hear is boom! Diggs. No. Diggs! Get out of there! Get out! -Get out! -Guys, let's go! Get out of there! Diggs! Diggs, go, go! You want fireworks, l'll show you fireworks! All l have to do is push this button... ...and boom! Oh, yeah! Diggs! No! It's gonna blow! Hold those people back! Uh-oh. Take cover! l repeat! Take cover! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. You wanna recruit that guy? He just blew up a car dealership! A used-car dealership. True, he may not be a great cop. But he has the potential to be a great agent. He's fearless, barks in the face of danger, and is trained in paw-to-paw combat. Plus the only thing he hates more than following orders... ...is cats. Well, hating cats is good. And exactly what we need to take down Kitty Galore. Fine. But l don't know who you'll find dumb enough to partner with him. Easy. l'm barking right at him. Woof. -Suspended? -This dog is a disaster. We've sent him to obedience school, what, three times now? And he still won't listen. Don't put him back in the system. He's been in and out of kennels his whole life. He's never had a home. l'll tell you what, l will adopt him. Sorry, Shane. He's state property. Besides, you have a new baby now. You don't need this kind of trouble at home. Let him go, Shane. Let him go. Captain, please don't make me do this. Nice one, Diggs. l'm sorry, Diggs. l know you tried. You always try. Just sometimes a little too hard. Like this cop thing. Sometimes you just gotta play with others. lt's not always about being the top dog. Diggs, l'm sorry, buddy. l'll do everything l can to get you out of here. Until then, you be a good boy. l love you, buddy. This isn't so bad, right? How's it going, floor? What's up, cage? Que pasa, bowl? Did you guys miss me? Because l'm back! Back in the kennel again. Hey! What? What the? Okay, okay, this is creeping me out. Hello? Anyone home? Hello? Whoa. Uh-oh. Who are you? When did they put an elevator in there? Name's Special Agent Butch, and against better judgment... ...you're being recruited into an organization... ...to help fight the spread of radical felinism. Okay, is somebody pulling my tail here? This isn't a joke, Diggs. -How do you know my name? -l just came up out of the floor. Let's assume l'm smart enough to know your name. While you and your cop buddies are here chasing your tails... ...there's an elite team of dogs charged with the noble responsibility... ...of protecting mankind. We want you to join that team. This is a one-time-only offer, Diggs. l suggest you say yes. lt's tempting, but l can't just say yes to every offer that comes through that floor. Kid, you already spent half your life Iocked up in this place. There's a good chance you'll spend the rest of your life here. But the choice is yours. You can stay here and fight roaches over your kibble... ...or you can come with me and fight cats. Fight cats? Why didn't you say so? Now, move over, Rover, this dog's ready to hunt! Oh, my dog! l just vacuumed the seats, so try not to shed. Come on! Wow, we're going really fast, aren't we? This is nice! This is enjoyable. l'm enjoying this. Sure you're okay, big shot? Fine, good. No, not good. Not good. Yeah, l'm gonna barf. This is Agent 3293. l've got the package. Careful, now. New recruits sometimes get a little woozy after their first ride. Are you okay there, rookie? Yeah, l'm good. Totally fine. l'm just gonna lay down here till the room stops spinning. Let's go, superdog. The fun's just beginning. l think we have different definitions of fun. Just wait. Now prepare yourself, kid. You're about to experience something no human and very few canines ever see. Greetings, Agent Butch. Activate paw scan now. Whoa. Sweet! This is like Petco meets Vegas. Today's seminar, Harassment in the Workplace. Doberman or not, do not pinch her. Welcome to Dog HQ, the nexus of our whole operation. Mike, you wanna grab lunch? l don't like you, Carl. We're the thin, furry line between humans and total chaos. Try and keep up, kid. Hey, guys, watch. l'm skateboarding, l'm skateboarding! Our elite agents work and train 2411... ...to combat all enemies, foreign and domesticated. We take the saying man's best friend very seriously here. All in? Why not? -Hey, Butch. -Hey, Slim. Why do we do all this? To make sure it never becomes a cat-eat-dog world out there. Oh, hello, ladies! Hate to see you go, Iove to watch you leave. Stop drooling already. Come on, l want to introduce you to someone. Could you introduce me to them, please? Hey, wait up. Hot dog, coming through! Three, two, one. Fire the catapult. Bull's-eye. Hey, watch your paws in here. Don't touch anything. Hey, how you doing, buddy? Meow. Meow. Meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow. lt's some kind of cat! Get back! Meow? Oh, l forgot. This is the Catamatron 3000. lt trains you to think like the enemy. Literally. Someone's been playing fetch with the ugly stick. This is Peek, tech specialist and head of Covert Ops. -Hi. -What up, dog? So, Peek, you got anything that actually works? Follow me. Alley-oop. Butch, your collar is fitted with the Rawhide-l communications package. Lock pick, netting, helium-neon laser... ...grappling hook and liver-scented breath freshener. And this is yours. Sweet! What's it do? Holds your name tag on your neck. Butch, you've lost some weight. Sorry, my name's Diggs and l always look this good. Sam. l'm over here. Sorry. The boss wants to see you two pronto. Get a haircut, you hippie. Congratulations, Agent 8uttercup... ...on the birth of your son, son, daughter, son, daughter, daughter... ...son, daughter, son. Have a seat, gentlemen. No, off. Off the couch. -Off the couch! -Sorry. Sorry. You guys were outside, and you're dirty. Because we're field agents, Lou. We can't all be desk jockeys like you, sitting around wearing ugly sweaters. Hey, l like this sweater. It was a gift from my grandma. Can you give it back? So you're the dog who likes to blow up buildings. Yeah, that was an accident. You seem to have a lot of accidents, Diggs. Can we just cut to the chase already and get to why l'm here? Of course. Three hours ago, we intercepted this transmission... ...from a mysterious villain from the feline underworld. We believe this was meant for all cats. Take a look. Greetings, my future feline followers. My name is Kitty Galore. ls that even a cat? And may l present the most adorable creature in my life, little Scrumptious. -Say hello, darling. -Help me. The age of the dog as man's so-called best friend is over! ln two days, l will unleash a sound only those droolbag dogs can hear. A sound so devastating, so terrifying... ...it will drive all dogs completely insane. l call this sound the Call of the Wild! Once the dogs go woo-hoo, humans will be forced to get rid of them... ...and without their protection, l will enslave all mankind! Kitty! l'm home! Nothing will stop me from ruling the world. Kitty Galore out! That cat makes the hair on my butt stand up. Kitty has been number one on our most wanted list for a year. Last week, she and her henchcat, Paws, resurfaced in Germany... ...and stole top-secret satellite codes. Our sources also tell us Paws recently tried to eliminate this pigeon, Seamus. l believe l can fly l believe l can touch the sky Can't a bird take a bath without it ending up on the Internet? We don't know what the connection is, but Seamus is our only link to Kitty. We find him, he can lead us to her. We have less than two days to find Kitty... ...before she activates her Call of the Wild. Fetch and retrieve that bird. Easy enough. Just give me some bread, a big net and a hammer. We need him alive. Okay, scratch the hammer. So you have your assignment. Find Seamus before the cats do. You let Seamus get away? lt's just impossible to find good help these days. That rat with wings has vital information that could destroy my entire plan. We cannot let that happen, now, can we, little Scrumptious? Paws! What are you waiting for? l want this pigeon Seamus in your mouth... ...on my doorstep immediately. Out! l said out! Out! Out! Out! What's wrong with this stupid mouse? Oh! Oh, Scrumptious. Now, now, l barely crushed you. Think how lucky you are. You could be living in that jungle instead of our new lair. lsn't this wonderful? lt's perfect. Kitty! l'm home! Almost perfect. Oh, look! Kitty! You think those are real fishies, don't you? That's adorable. Great news. We are headliners! Would you believe it was only two months ago when l walked in here to find you? Oh. l see what you're thinking. A new opening, right? Of course! That's genius. Pure genius. Now we You are excited! Every magician needs one of these. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, Kitty. This is the rendezvous point. The pigeon we're looking for flew into that building. Now, remember what Lou said: Follow my lead. When l say Wag your tail, you ask How hard? Got it? What's with the fanny pack? Shh! We can stop playing games, boy. l know you don't want none of this. You don't wanna come out. You hiding because you don't want the: Now, watch this maneuver, kid. l call it Fetch a Stick. -Hm? Come on. Come on. Go get it. Let's go. Ha-ha. Sucker. l don't know why, but this building appeals to me. Of course it does. It looks like a giant fire hydrant. Yep, that's it. This would go faster if you didn't watch me. Come on, hurry up! By the time you're done, the bird will have flown. Say hello to my little friend. It's quiet. A little too quiet. Butch, it's time to take out the trash! What are you doing? Where do you think you're going, punk? Hey! Hey! Easy! Easy! Watch the teeth! Stand down! That bird's our informant. He works for us. lnformant? Work? l do neither of these things. -And when's the last time you had a mint? -You Seamus? That is privileged information. Who wants to know? Are you kidding me? Dog HQ sent us to protect you. Now, let's go. Good. It's about Wait a second! How do l know you don't work for the cats? The crow flies at midnight. What? What crow? What's he talking about? That's the passphrase. And you answer with, The eagle.... Owes me five bucks. -Ugh. Close enough. No, no, wait. Hang on, l'll get it. -Was it a penguin? -l just told you it was an eagle! -ls a ballerina. -All right, enough. Why does Kitty Galore have a price on your beak? l don't know! l never met her! That was my cousin Nicky's business. Kitty wouldn't be after you if you didn't know something. Nicky just crashed at my pad sometimes. l don't know anything. My brain is the size of a grape! Or a raisin. A big raisin or a little grape. Don't get your feathers all ruffled. You're completely safe, now that we're -Uh! -Oh! Look out! Assassin with a rolled-up newspaper! No sweat. It's just a little kitty cat. Hand over the bird. Ooh. A girl kitty cat. l'm gonna enjoy this. Hey, hey! What the? -Oh, now it is on, furball! Diggs! -Protect the bird. l'll take the cat. -You protect the bird. That cat's all mine. You can both have the cat. l'm out of here! l told you to watch the bird! See you, ladies. l gotta fly! Hey! -Whoa. You always do it your way, don't you, hotshot? You're right, l should have seen a flying cat coming. What the? No way! Did your backpack just turn into a jet? Diggs! Hang tight! l'm going after that bird! Not without me! Oh, no! -Hey! What the? Stop it! l can't see! Billboard, billboard, billboard! l'm too old for this poop! Wait! l have a dozen eggs waiting for me at home. You can have six of them. Oh, no! Follow me through this, cat! Careful what you wish for. l didn't mean follow me for real, l was playing. Float like a butterfly, sting like a pi - Ah! Mayday, mayday! l've got you, bird. Come on, Miss Daisy, can't this thing go any faster? This is only built for one, rookie! Hide me, my brothers! You're not gonna lose me that easy. What you doing? -lt's the end of the line, bird! -l'm almost on top of her! No, l got her! Hey! Are you crazy? Hey, a squirrel. Oh, boy. This is not good. Can't fly too well with a broken wing, can you? Ouch. Oh, my wing. Oh, that doesn't look right. Net! You busted my favorite wing. Get ready for a lawsuit, lady. Ha! -Mom, Mom, look at me. Wow. You're going really fast, kiddo. We've been at this all night. Now, for the last time, where's Kitty Galore? l don't know! No! No! Don't like the water, huh? Anything but water! l beg you. Diggs, that is not a valid interrogation technique. Back off, Butch. This is how we do things downtown. Think l'm gonna fall for your good dog, bad dog routine? -Human! Hide. Hide. Hide. Hey, doggies. Ew. Ugh, yuck. Guys, question: Why is butt-sniffing always your fallback position? Hey, don't knock it till you've sniffed it. Now, talk! No, no more water! No more Agent 47? Tab? -We're getting -Can you hear me? Have you been compromised? Aw, man. Where'd you get one of those fancy collars? Agent? Wait. If you're not working for Kitty Galore, who are you? Name's Catherine. l'm with MEOWS. MEOWS? Collar: Laser. Wait! Hold on, hold on. What's MEOWS? Mousers Enforcing Our World's Safety. Feline intelligence. Feline intelligence, huh? Okay, quick, what's eight times eight? -Sixty-four. -Ha! Wrong! lt's eight, carry the three, move the two.... l'm gonna have to get back to you. MEOWS protects the world's cats against the pooch peril. -That's you, Rover. -Human! Hide. Hide. Hide. Can't you doggies do anything else? Ugh. Why is this always our fallback position? You weren't hired by Kitty Galore to find the bird? Wrong again, fleabag. My mission is to find her and take her down. See, Kitty Galore, a.k.a. Ivana Clawyu... ...was one of MEOWS' best agents until a year ago. No. Don't come any closer. She was on assignment at a cosmetics factory... ...when a guard dog chased her into a vat of hair-removal cream. Hairless beyond recognition and humiliated by her fellow agents... ...lvana left MEOWS and returned to her home. What is that hideous thing? It's freaking out the dog! Get that thing out! Scram! But it's Christmas. l'll make them pay. After that, she went rogue, changed her name to Kitty Galore... ...and has been bent on revenge ever since. Wait. If she wants to destroy all dogs, why are you trying to stop her? Contrary to your belief, all cats aren't evil. We care about humans as much as you do. Kitty wants revenge on dogs and humans, and that is why she must be stopped. -Hey, doggies. -What is wrong with you, kid? How many times can you go down the same slide? l'm sorry. l mean - l mean coo. Mommy! Mommy! We've been compromised. Unless you turn into a parrot, never talk in front of humans! Listen, l know Kitty. She's coming after this bird, and you'll need my help. Sorry, Agent LicksAlot, no cats allowed. Something we agree on. You guys don't have a choice. Just try and stop me. Hello? Omicer Larson, this is Omicer Raymond. -Your H-9 partner, Diggs, is missing. -What? During today's rounds, his cage was vacant. He seems to be lost. How do you lose Diggs? He's not officially lost. We're filing the appropriate papers. Go back and check for him. He didn't fall through the floor! Yes, sir. Sorry, honey, l'll be back. Diggs is missing. Today's specials are leftover meatloaf and bacon. Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Follow me, cat. For your own good, l suggest you avoid sudden moves. The 7 p.m. screening of Scooby-Doo is now sold out. Tickets still available Wait! Is that a cat? Hm?
Seamus: Why is everybody looking at me like they've never seen a crippled pigeon riding on a dusty dog?
Lou: Would you guys stay out of there? Patches, no, that computer is not a chew toy. Hey, get your tail out of that pencil sharpener. Cookie, stop barking at your brother! Where's the Dog Whisperer when you need him? At least they're not wearing sweaters. The wife is at the groomers today, so l'm watching the litter. Uh-oh. Patches, take your brothers outside.
Patches: Let's go! And don't take treats from strangers! Kids. Tab Lazenby. So you're the new fat cat at MEOWS. And when l say fat cat, l mean you might wanna switch to the skim milk. Oh, Lou, so catty. l see they've given you the key to the executive Dumpster. All that butt-sniffing paid off. But enough pleasantries. You have one of my operatives. l understand that Kitty Galore is one of yours too. She's our spilled milk. We'll lick it up. You can't begin to imagine how dangerous she is. She'll never stop until she has her revenge. She's threatening us, Tab. lt takes a dog to chase a cat. But it'll take a cat to catch this kitty. This isn't about who should go after Kitty. It's about protecting the humans. She's right. We can't just sit around arguing jurisdiction. Unless.... Now, this would be a first in our political history. With 24 hours left on Hitty's deadline, we may have no other choice. -Cats and dogs will have to work together. -Cats and dogs will have to work together. That ain't right. What? No way, man. Work with her? Why don't we go ahead and make an alliance with the mailman? Diggs! Wait outside with Seamus. Work with cats? l'd rather have worms. -Outside! Now! -Ugh. Where l'm from, we don't play with cats. -We chase them. -Bye-bye, now. Lou, the kid's got a point. We can't just work with cats. We can't trust them. You're being dramatic. What do these guys want from me? l can't work with a cat. But l don't wanna go back to the kennel. You ever live in a cage, my friend? Ha. l wish. The little swings, free sunflower seeds, that little mirror to hang with. Man, l wish l was back with my partner, Shane. Now, that was a sweet setup. You know who has the sweetest setup? Cats. Mm-mm-mm. Talk about cushy. They're pampered like royalty. This one house my cousin Nicky used to work at for Kitty Galore... ...it was a feline paradise. House? What house? Butch! l think l know where we can find Kitty! This is historic. Three species coming together, putting aside our differences to solve a mystery. This is like the Dream Team, except we ain't dreaming. Pick up your paws, y'all. We're almost there. What are you talking about? ls there a soundproof bag we can stuff him in? This is the joint where Nicky smuggled stuff for Kitty Galore. l think. No, it is, l'm positive. Sixty-five percent sure. l could go up to 61, but l'm de Oh, look, a potato bug! Stay alert. Kitty could be ready to pounce inside. We're on an epic quest. Through foreign lands. Learning about each other. And a little about ourselves. Lock pick. Look out! Whoa, man! Hey. It's, like, a bunch of dogs, man. Awesome. Hey, are we related? Dude, l saw it blink. What's up with these guys? Hopped up on catnip. Cat ladies, such enablers. Okay, stay on your toes, team. Let's move. Oh, boy. Does schnookems want attention? Oh, lovely. Beautiful pussycat. Beautiful puss. Oh, dear. -Hey, try and keep up, schnookems. Go play in traffic. Shake a tail feather, l'm on the clock. Here's what we got: One fresh microchip, and, oh, a thingamajig with a button on it. All right. It looks like one of Kitty's henchcats. The key word here is stealth. No one makes a move till l say so. Excuse me. l'm a cat. l think l know a thing or two about stealth. l wasn't talking to you. -l was talking to the rookie. -Less talk, more rock! Everybody down on the flo! Whoa-ooh! Beat it, it's the cops! l have underwear on my head, don't l? l said stealth! You just lost us one of our leads. Oh, hey! How's it going? -l want answers. -No, l want answers. No, l want answers. No, l want answers. l'll give both of you guys answers. l'm an encyclopedia of answers. All right. Where's Kitty Galore? She's-l-Who? -Let me at him! -Ah! Is it supposed to do that? What the? l'm going to guess, no, it's not supposed to do that! This is not good. Ha-ha! You fools! ln five minutes this room will fill up, and you're all gonna drown in kitty litter! Bet you weren't expecting that, suckers! But you're inside too. No! l'm long gone! Outside, safe and sound... ...while you losers are in here, trapped in a rising tide of l mean, l Get me out of here! l'll tell you anything! Anything! And with that, l am officially no longer the dumbest animal in the room. The window! We can get out the window! lf we all work together, we can reach it. We'll form a dog-cat pyramid. You step on my back, Catherine will step on yours. She'll scratch me. How about l get on her back? Why don't you just try it and see what happens? l'll do it! Goodness. Someone made a schtinky. Why can't you go in the yard like a normal animal? Like a dog, rushing in without thinking. You two wanna live or keep fighting? Does schnookems need to be let outside? Whoa. Did you see that? Yeah, l know! Wait, what are we talking about? You guys aren't mad, are you? Where's Kitty? Start talking, or these dogs are gonna rip into you like a bag of Snausages. Okay, okay! Look, l don't know where Kitty is, but l can tell you this. For months now, Kitty has been stealing technology... ...from, like, NASA... ...the Pentagon.... You should've seen what we got from Bill Gates' cat, Mr. Windows. Now, l'm just the middlecat. l take the parts, give them to pigeon couriers... ...and they fly them to a secret location. Which is where? How would l know? It's a secret. -Sounds like she's building something. -But what? Who can understand the mind of a crazy old cat? -l know! -Wait, what? You know what she's building? No. l know a crazy old cat. Ha-ha-ha! Okay, guys. This cat is nuts, but he might lead us to Kitty. Unless you want a bone buried where the sun don't shine... ...let me do all the talking. Yes, sir, captain. Captain. Mr. Man. Keep pushing me, Diggs. Now, watch your step. And stay close. Things could get hairy. If l grow any hair, l am leaving. l can't do hair and feathers. lt's just miserable but l like the What? What? Wait up! Don't leave me! Hey, birdy-birdy. Mm. Check out my ink. Oh, how cute, he hearts his mommy. Oh, what a cute Can we leave now? You look tasty. Tasty? Why, thank you. l try to keep fit. Mr. Tinkles. We need the insight of your twisted mind to locate Kitty Galore. -lf you were to build a doomsday device -You'll never find love, you know. l can tell by the way you're sitting. So apart from the others. They wouldn't invite any ordinary cat, would they? No. You're an agent. With MEOWS. Spying on your own brothers and sisters? Naughty little girl. But that takes a very special kind of feline. Someone dedicated, driven and very angry. But at who? Daddy? Who's your daddy, Catherine? That's enough! Butch! You look old. And fat. And after all these years, still only a field agent? Listen here, you freaky cat. We're here to talk about Kitty Galore. Who the heck are you? That bulge under your left ear.... You were implanted with a RFID microchip. l'm guessing police work. My, my, so young to be dismissed from the force. Tell me, officer, do you hate me? Do you wanna chew me up and spit me out... ...as has been done to you in relationship after relationship? Ooh! Ooh! Do me next! Do me! What color am l thinking of? The last bird who stood this close to me... ...well, l enjoyed his company with a plate of Fancy Feast... ...and a nice saucer of milk. Th-th-th-th. Hairball. l was thinking of blue, Creepy McGee. Originally l was thinking yellow, but yellow's so obvious. Dogs. Hey, Kitty, l got news. What is the world coming to? Cats and dogs can't work together! What to do? What to do? Aha. Paws! Time to call in... ...the MacDougall twins. l always wondered what Garfield would look like in a dress. Betrayed by my own kind. l guess it's just you and me, Scrumptious. Wait. Where's Scrumptious? Scrumptious? Scrumptious? Scrumptious? l'm here! In here! You animal! Spit him out! Spit him out! lf anyone eats that mouse, it's gonna be me! Kitty! Okay, Scrumptious, not a squeak. Close your eyes! l have got a surprise for you! Kitty, now, watch carefully. For our big opening, you are gonna go in here, like this. Now, let's see. Sword A into slot B. The crowd oohs and ahhs... ...as l put sword D into slot... ...seven? And then l say the magic words, Abracadabra.... And then: Ta-da! Ooh, ooh! Ooh. That was wrong. Enough pussy-footing around, Tinkles! Where's Kitty Galore? All right, everybody, chill. There is one way to defeat Kitty Galore. -Step one: release me immediately. -What? Forget it. -Step two: l need a space shuttle. -No. Oh, all right. You guys are no fun. Look, l can't help you fight other villains, all right? It's a professional courtesy thing. l'd be blackballed, laughed at. l'd lose my pension. However, l will say this. A cat's eye reveals everything. What? What's that supposed to mean? lt's a riddle, Sherlock. l was trying to be mysterious. Oh, never mind. And now, leave! l'm planning my escape, you know. Yeah? Good luck with that. What? Good luck? For the great Tinkles? An evil genius doesn't need good luck. Although, l could use a passport and a speedboat. Cats rule. There. That ought to do it. What was Tinkles talking about? A cat's eye reveals everything. That don't even make no sense. Tinkles doesn't know where Kitty Galore is. He's manipulative, he's psychotic. ln other words, your typical feline. Psychotic is chasing a ball when it's just gonna be thrown again. What a pointless activity. The game of fetch is one of the most exciting outdoor sports... -...this side of squirrel chasing. -Would you two please muzzle it? Now, where is that stupid bird Kitty wants us to knock off? Ha! There you are. What? What's happening, Angus? Let me see. Duncan, would you be quiet! After the mission, can we get ice cream? Yes, yes, yes, we can get ice cream. Now be quiet! l love ice cream. Attention, humans! This is your captain, Angus MacNot-a-cat! There's a whale up front and he's taking song requests! And he's made of candy. Go now! Go. Something's up. Oh, hello, little red dot. Hey. Hold up. What the? Seamus, what are you doing? Catherine? Look out! The MacDougall twins! The MacWhats? -Catherine, look out! -No! -Diggs, what'd you do that for? l'm not sure. Catherine, protect that pigeon. l'll get the cat! Wait! l love Scotland. And the Scotch tape. -Where'd you go? -And Braveheart. Collar: Laser! Have fun! What? Batter up! Look! There's the whale. Butch, if you're not too busy. Need a little help! Diggs, hold still. l'll use my laser. Now, don't move a paw! Yippee ki yay, little puppy! Hey, Catherine! We got a doggy overboard! -Do something, l'm slipping! Diggs! No! l can't. It's the water. l never We'll call Dr. Phil later. But right now l need some help. Take that! And you're lucky l don't smack you upside your cat head. Kick him in the bagpipes, Butch! l've got you in my sights, you wee bird! What are you doing? Now it's my turn. Now, don't be hasty, dog. l was just having a wee bit of fun. Fun? Mom, Mom! It's happening again. What? Honey, there's nothing there. -Hey! Just a friendly reminder. -Seamus! Your mission is still to protect... ...me! Catherine, snap out of it. l'm sorry. l'm so sorry. l've never seen so much of it. Oh, God, l can't even look at it. l wanna help you, but -Here goes nothing! -Diggs, no! No guts, no glory. No brakes! Gotcha. Take that! How's your fancy suit working out for you now, fur face? Wait. Where's Kitty Galore? Preparing the Call of the Wild. Soon your feeble canine brains will feel her wrath, and dogkind will crumble! Smack him around! Your pecking days are over, bird. Kitty knows your pal Nicky gave you the blueprints. Blueprints? What blueprints? Let go, let go. Stand down, Diggs. l'll question him from here. -Negative. -That's enough! l said stand down! l got him, pops. l know what l'm Hey, Angus. Now can we get ice cream? Diggs! You've ruined everything. First you let the carrier pigeon get away. Then you almost drowned us in kitty litter. And now you've let the MacDougalls escape! Well, l didn't blow up the ferry. l mean, that's something. l've had it with you. You're untrainable. l told Lou you didn't have what it takes to be an agent, and l was right. -What are you saying? -l'm saying go home, Diggs. You're off this team. l don't wanna be rude, but the bird's still all good, right? Come on, Seamus. We've got work to do. What about you? l'll catch up with you. l need to check in with MEOWS first. Suit yourself. Good luck, dog. You don't have to pretend to check in with MEOWS... ...just so you can thank me for saving your life. Uh, l do have to check in with MEOWS. Oh, right. But l, um, also want to thank you for saving my life. -Hey, you're hurt. -No, l'm fine. Well, too bad, tough guy. You're coming with me to get fixed up. -Sir, you haven't seen this dog, have you? -Sorry. -Hello? Hi, sweetheart, it's me. -Hey, honey. -How's it going? Did you find him? No, nothing yet. l can't believe l let this happen. lt wasn't your fault. You're doing eveything you can. Yeah, l know. l just feel like l'm so close to finding him. Come home and we'll look together. Where is he? Where is he? Hey! -Hey! l'm running out of time. -Where is that stupid pigeon? -l don't know. Hey, there's my cat. What do you say there, Kitty? And where have you been? Hey, calm down. Can't a guy take a statue break? Excellent. This computer chip is the last piece l need. Now no one can stand in my way. What was that? -That, my dear? That's just a loose end that's conveniently tied itself up. Kitty! My humans are out tonight, so relax while l check in with MEOWS. Come on, Diggs. Just one paw after the other. -lf my nieces give you any trouble.... -Nieces? Look, guys. Auntie Catherine brought home a friend. And he's a doggy! Okay. Um.... Hi. Hello. Catherine, could you help me out here? This is too adorable for my taste. ls it true there's a spot on your tummy, and if l tickle it, your foot will shake? No, that's just a myth. Ah! Whoo! You found it! Oh, boy! Oh, boy, that's it. -All right, girls. That's enough. Man. -Aw. Leave the poor mutt alone. No fair. Bye-bye, puppy. Now, let's have a look at that paw. Oh, it's just a little splinter. Really? It feels like a giant six-inch spike. Like a - Ouch! Oh, come on. My nieces are tougher than that. Yeah, they're unbelievable. l mean, l'm a dog. l can't believe they don't hate me. Well, l guess they haven't learned to yet. Anyway, listen, thanks for fixing me up. l should be heading home now. Home, huh? So where do you live? Oh, uh, well, it was over at the.... You know, l'm kind of between homes right now, so l'll probably just l'll just head back to the kennel. The kennel? That's terrible. No, it's fine. Really, it's fine. Diggs, how much time have you spent in kennels? l guess l was just a pup when l first got dropped off. My owner said he'd be right back, but.... Well, how did you finally get out? My man, Shane. He's a cop. l guess he saw something in me nobody else did. Made me his partner. And l swore l was never gonna let him down. There was no way l was ever gonna wind up in the kennel again. And then what? l wound up in the kennel again. No matter how hard l try, l just keep messing things up. Or blowing things up. Uh, could all of this have something to do with... ...not being able to follow an order to save your life? But it's not like l don't wanna follow orders. lt's just, l learned pretty early on... ...that the only one l could count on, the only one l could really trust, was me. That way, no one could ever let me down. Yeah, but no one can help you either. Right. Hey, funky doorbell. No, it's MEOWS. Come on, let's go. A room full of cats? Try and stop me! Oh, man, here we go again. l was born in a box bigger than this. Ouch! Will you get off my tail? Hang on. Oh, right, the dropping-floor thing, l've seen one - Oh! Uh.... Little help here? Welcome to MEOWS. Whoa. This is not an emergency, sir. You still have seven lives left. Okay, Diggs, no barking, no drooling... ...and definitely no chasing my colleagues. Tab, Agent 41 reporting for duty. Alert! Alert! The perimeter has been breached. Guys, please, can you stop running? l'm fighting the urge to chase you. No, no, Tab, he's cool. He's with me. Oh, Catherine. l feel like an idiot up here. Stand down, brigadier. The dog lives. Oh, man! l never get to use this thing! We're outsourcing? Does he look rabid to you? He looks rabid to me. We've isolated a voice on Kitty Galore's threat recording. l will enslave all mankind! Kitty! l'm home! A human. Definitely human. -Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. -Right. Now zoom in. Well, l'll be. Tinkles was right. A cat's eye does reveal everything. Tab, flip the image. Chuck the Magnificent. Okay, let's see. Aha. Here we are. Playland, huh? So who's up for a corn dog? Can l ask you something? Don't take this wrong. You know that saying, Cat got your tongue? Yeah, yeah, yeah! You're not gonna steal my tongue, are you? It's an expression, Diggs. Whoa, whoa! Man, you drive like a girl. No, Diggs, l drive like a cat. Now, be a good dog and stick your head out the window. Brake, brake, brake. -Welcome to Playland. Parking is $5. Enjoy the park, sir. This place looks pretty secure. So how exactly are we planning on getting in there? Wait a second. l know what to do. Butch taught me this. This is a little maneuver l like to call Fetch a Stick. Whoops. We haven't got much time. Look for something that resembles a bologna with a head. Okay there. Yikes. Catherine, l sure hope we're not chasing our tails here. What the? ls this what it's come to, darlings? Cats and dogs working together? Call me old-fashioned, but l preferred it when we all hated each other. Don't worry. We still hate you. Not even a mother could love that face. MEOWS! This is Agent 4 -Hey! What are you doing? Catherine! No! My collar! In the still -Of the night -Shoo-doop, doobie-doop l held you l don't know. Maybe l was too hard on the kid. Let's see, some thread, some twigs, a rubber band Scratch that, two rubber bands! What a lucky You talking about lucky -Wait, what are we are looking for? -The blueprints. The cat on the ferry said your cousin Nicky gave you blueprints. Oh, yeah. -Let me look. -This is my house! You'll ruin this place. My insurance doesn't cover this. This is why my landlord said no pets. Well, always great having you over, Butch. You're the life of the party. Hey, what's Kitty Galore's name doing on my wallpaper? That's not wallpaper. That's a blueprint for a giant satellite dish. This is worse than we thought! She's trying to get free HBO. This is why Kitty's after you. Your Cousin Nicky stashed this here. Collar: Camera. HQ, you getting this? Holy lawn log. That thing is three stories tall. lf this device is real, it's our worst fears come true. Lou, MEOWS here. We just picked up a distress signal from Catherine. -She's with one of your agents. -Diggs! They were chasing a lead on Kitty's hideout, a place called Playland. You're looking for one Chuck the Magnificent. Tab, l'm sending you a blueprint. Butch, go get our agent. Copy that! l just hope the kid's okay. So this is how it ends for me. ln a circus tent, chained to a cat. Great master plan, Kitty. Bup-bup-bup. Don't judge my master plan until you've heard the whole thing, huh? You see, in 20 minutes, l will begin broadcasting... ...the Call of the Wild! And every canine on this planet will become a mad dog, forever! Like l'm supposed to believe a bunch of weird sounds... ...are gonna make me a mad dog, forever. Ah. So you do understand. l was worried the whole thing was a tad complicated. You know, for a dog. Paws! Let's show our friends what we have up our metaphorical sleeve. A dog's sensitive hearing has always been considered a tactical advantage. But now, it will be their downfall. Observe. Look at the little doggy losing control. They're even turning on their owners. Humans have no idea what's happened. Their dogs have all gone mad! And there's only one place for a mad dog. No, no. Not the kennels. Yes, yes, the kennels! Where they will be forever alone... ...unwanted, unloved. Seem familiar, Officer Diggs? Nice try, Kitty. But there's a lot of dogs in this world. What are you gonna do, go door-to-door with your sound? That would take you the rest of your nine lives. That's true. Unless l had a satellite. Why do you think l've been telling you this? l got time to kill until my satellite's in position. Then, once l beam the signal... ...it will instantly broadcast from every TV, radio and cell phone on earth! Okay, show's over. No, no! You'll never get away with this, Kitty! l was hoping someone would say l'll never get away with this. lt'll make it so much more satisfying when l do! Now, sit back and relax. Perhaps you'd care for a drink of water? No! Water. Not water. Anything but water. Please, Kitty. l can't swim. Perfect. l don't want you to swim. l want you to drown! We're almost at Playland. Oh, if there's one ride we should go on, it's the roller coaster. We're not going on any rides. Don't be scared. l'll hold your paw, big baby. -There's gotta be a way out of here. -Catherine, listen. Since this is the end, l guess l can say l think l might like you. -Diggs, stop. -No. Shh. Don't say anything. l know it's uncomfortable, but l think we're buds. There, l said it. l like a cat. l feel so free! No, stop! l can use your collar! No, it doesn't do anything. It's not even good for fleas. No, if l could just get it loose... ...l can pick the lock. Nice work! Okay, now me. No! Don't worry, Diggs. l'll get you out of here. No, Catherine. There's no time. You gotta stop Kitty. l'm not leaving you, Diggs. Come on, Catherine. You can do this. Oh, you owe me bigtime, dog. Yeah, about what l said before, about liking cats.... -Never happened. -Thank you. Hey, Kitty! Sorry, practice went a little long. Where are you, girl? Chuck, you're a grade-A doofus. Here they are. Kitty? You in here? Don't worry, Kitty. We all get stage fright sometimes. We can get through this together. The show must go on! Just need five minutes. Maybe 10. Caramel corn. You have any idea what the street value of that is? -ls that Seamus? Over here! There's no reason we can't save the world and get snow cones. -Hey, guys. -Catherine! -Rookie! Butch. Collar: Comlink. HQ, we have Catherine and Diggs. Nice work, Butch. Now find Kitty's device. Where could Kitty be hiding that satellite dish? lt must be huge. You can't just hide something like that. Hey, wait a second. That ride looks kind of like a.... It sure does. Genius! What? All l see is a giant satellite-dish-looking Oh. Team, huddle up. It's go time. Save the dogs, save the world. First thing to do, get on top of that ride. Yes! Wait. Is there a height requirement for this ride? Behold my glorious device! Careful, Scrumptious. Scratch that disc, l scratch you. ln mere moments, the planet becomes my scratching post! Excuse me, has anyone seen my assistant? She kind of looks like a raw chicken. Oh, my Lord! Kitty! Get down from there! Let's get this party started. As soon as my satellite is in position, l hit the button and upload the signal! Uh-oh. -What? Three, two, one.... What in the world? l love being a spy dog! Yeah! Why am l doing this? Brakes, brakes, brakes. Hey, Catzilla! Yes! Perfect landing. Watch out, Kitty, because Seamus is about to kick your - Ah! Ooh! Paws! Stop them! Kitty! Where? Ah! It's so tangly! Is that the magician? Ooh. This guy is amazing. The satellite is almost in position. Okay, we've analyzed the blueprints... ...and we think there's a kill switch on that device. Look! That red button. It looks like an off switch. -We have to get up to that control panel. -The pyramid. -From the cat-lady house. -Good thinking. -You know what to do. -Right! Wait! What are you doing? l can't reach it! Now what? Ta-da! It's a bird. It's a plane. Nope, had it right the first time. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pigeon to the rescue. Here l come! No! l mean, thank you. Wait! You fools! Not every red button is an off switch. So buckle up, kiddies. The real ride has just begun. The signal's fired. The satellite's uploading the Call of the Wild. Butch? Butch are you there? Talk to me! Come in! Lou, come in! -We've lost HQ! -l suggest we just tag out and call it a day. Diggs! Any ideas? lf l get up to those wires... ...l can disconnect them and shut this thing down! Then here. You're gonna need this. -Really? -Yeah, really. And don't scratch it! What do you say, Catherine? Feel like going for a ride? Let's do this. Collar: Grappling hook! Whoo-hoo! Collar: Retract. Diggs! What the? Oh, my.... Meow. Whoo! A robot cat. l know what l want for Christmas. Like my new invention? Amazing what you can do with a few spare parts... ...and a thirst to destroy mankind. My collar! -Let's go! Right behind you. This is futile! We're seconds away from a world full of barking-mad canines. And you're too late to stop it! lt's happening! The Call of the Wild has hit London, New York, Albuquerque! That leaves less than a minute till it's overhead. Come on, guys. You can do this. We're almost at the wires! -Something's wrong with my collar! Then it's time for Plan B! l hate Plan B! Okay, on my count. Three, two, one... ...jump! Booyah. That was your plan to stop me? When this is over, you'll be the first to be locked up. Sister, this dog is never going back to the kennels. -You again? Come here. Whoa. You wanna bite something, pal? Bite this. What? Wait! No! No! No! You think l'm finished? Never! lt'll take more than some dogs and a cat to stop me! l've had it! How about a mouse? Scrumptious? What? No. Scrumptious! Bye-bye! Help me. Mom? Watch out! It's gonna blow! bandon ride! Let's get out of here! Thank you, San Francisco! Do you feel that, Kitty? Do you feel the love? Come on, boy. Come on. Diggs? Diggs! l'm glad to see you too, buddy! Come here! Well, there's my big boy. How did you get here? Hey, Diggs, listen to me. l am so sorry that l didn't stick up for you more. l promise that will never happen again. You hear me? Welcome home, buddy. Come on. Let's go inside. Come on, Diggsy! Honey, you're not gonna believe who l just found. Looks like someone made a new best friend. Here you go, boy. He's like a new dog. Think he misses being a cop? Trust me, honey, excitement's the last thing on his mind. loe, do you want to join us at the table? Huh? Hm. Alert, Agent Diggs. Your mission, should you decide to accept it... ...will be revealed at HQ. This squirrel will self-destruct. But first, a little dance. All right, l'm done. -Talk to me. -Our firewall's been breached. Somebody hacked the system. Hacked the system? Who? How's that even possible? Only one mastermind could do that. But he's in Oh, gee, not this guy again. Greetings, my furry friends! It is l, Tinkles! free! Scot-free! Meow, meow. Did you really think the Rock could hold me forever? l am definitely not an indoor cat. Hey, Ringo, enough with the steel drums here! l'm tying to talk, mon! Hey, boss, l'm riming. Heh-heh! l'm going to enjoy this game of cat and mouse. Or shall l say cat and cat... ...and dog.... You have the little bird there too, right? Wow, it's like a whole petting zoo. Anyway, come and get me, if you dare! Meow, meow. All right, team. We got work to do. You're not going anywhere. What? Why not? Because you don't have your new collar... ...agent. Go ahead with your bad self. Bling! You guys ready to do this? Work with a bunch of dogs again? How could l say no? Absolutely! Wait. We're talking about lunch, right? All right, team. Let's go kick some tail! Come on! Why isn't this working? Hey, hey! Help me with my e-mail. l gotta reach my vet. l gotta get me some of that deworming cream. Tropical heat makes my butt itch like you wouldn't belie - Wait. What's this green light for? -This thing supposed to be on? -Boss, you're still connected.
Mr. Tinkles: So everything l'm But, like - So they can still Rash. Uh.... So the cream? Oh. Wow. Um.... Cats rule! Yeah.