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Mr. Pickles: Season: 3 - Episode: 8

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Sheriffs (Mr. Pickles) Tommy's Cartoon

[incomplete & unfixed/messed]

  • [LAUGHS] Dad’s gonna kill you if he finds out you took his autographed pin.
  • [LAUGHS] Let’s see how far - we can shove it down our throats.
  • - Cool! [LAUGHS] [GAGGING] [BOTH LAUGHING] You only got 4 inches.
  • [LAUGHS] [GAGGING] Help me push it in further.
  • Okay! [BOTH GRUNTING]
  • Tommy: Hi.
  • [BOTH GASP] Can I play with you guys?

- Hey, it’s that crippled loser.

  • - Get him! [all grunting]
  • OH, MR PICKLES-

[opening]

  • Tommy: [whimpering] Good boy [whimpers]
  • - Huh?
  • All: Tommy?
  • [crying] The bullies beat me up.
  • Who are the bullies? The Blorpton boys.
  • [GROWLS]
  • Well, son, it’s time I teach you how to fight And stand up for yourself like a man! - No! - Okay.
  • Sorry.
  • Violence isn’t the answer.
  • I’m sure if I drive Tommy over there, we can work this out peacefully.
  • But every time you drive my truck, it gets damaged.
  • Why don’t you get your old bike from the barn, huh? Ugh.
  • [GRUNTING] We’re here.
  • Phew.
  • Hi.
  • I’m Beverly.
  • [BELCHES] Oh, uh, and this is my son.
  • - Hey, what’s that loser doing here? - Yeah, loser! [WHIMPERS] Oh, uh, we brought you some muffins because What? You think I can’t feed my own family? Uh Lunch is ready, boys! - Oh, great, I’m starving.
  • - Yay! [BOTH SUCKLING] Mmm.
  • [LAUGHS] Hey, no teeth! Uh, aren’t your kids a little old to be nursing? Are you judging me? What the hell do you want anyway, bitch? Oh.
  • See, our sons got into a little fight, so I Is this true, boys? - Yeah.
  • - Yeah.
  • We kicked his ass.
  • Aah! And he’s still walking? If you’re gonna beat somebody up, take them all the way down.
  • - BEVERLY: Stop! - Both: Huh? Hitting them won’t solve anything.
  • First you judge me, then my husband? No, I You think you can be a better parent to our kids? - Well, take them.
  • - What? Yeah.
  • We hate our kids. Come on, bitch. Let’s go bowling.
  • But, Oh Uh, no, wait.
  • [BOTH LAUGHING] - Huh? - Now what? Uh - Ow.
  • Hey! Boys, boys, boys! Boys, behave! I know what will calm you boys down.
  • - Who wants sandwiches? - Great, I’m starving.
  • BOTH: No! Oh! We want milk! No! Oh! No, stop! Let’s see if the old man has any milk in those man boobs.
  • Beverly, I can’t believe you took these hooligans in.
  • - Hey! Get off of me! - Feed us old man.
  • Their parents went bowling and just left them with me.
  • - Aw, he’s all dried up.
  • - [LAUGHS] Boys, how would you like me to take you back to your parents, huh? Oh! I’ll go find their parents.
  • - Stop that.
  • - Huh? You boys need a spanking.
  • No.
  • I can handle this.
  • Tommy, go get some toys they can play with.
  • - Okay, Mom.
  • - It’s okay.
  • - We brought our mom’s toys.
  • - Mom’s toys! [BUZZING] Sword fight! - Aah! - Boys, get back here! [SHOUTS] A 7-10 split, that shot is impossible.
  • You can do it, Sheriff! [SHOUTS] [BUZZER SOUNDS] Hey.
  • What did you do that for? - This is our lane.
  • - Yeah! Do you know who you’re messing with? - Yeah, pussies.
  • - Oh.
  • - [LAUGHS] - You ain’t bikers.
  • You don’t even ride motorcycles.
  • Uh, we used to, but they’re too dangerous.
  • Yoink! Aah! I hate bullies.
  • Easy, Louie.
  • Leave the Blorptons alone, huh? So you’re the Blorptons? - Huh? - Huh? You need to come get your kids from my house.
  • - We don’t want them.
  • - Yeah! [BOTH LAUGH] Why don’t you bowl for it? Loser keeps the kids.
  • What? That’s ridiculous.
  • What’s the matter? Chicken? Bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock.
  • Chicken noises, huh? That’ll never work on me.
  • ALL: Bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock.
  • [GRUNTS] Chicken.
  • [BOTH LAUGH] - Stop! - Sword fight! - No! Don’t stab me! - Get him! No! Please stop! Aah! [LAUGHS] Let’s use the toys on Tommy - No! - the way Mom uses them on Dad.
  • - Yeah! - [LAUGHS] No! BOTH: Whoa! BEVERLY: Boys.
  • BOTH: Huh? What is it gonna take for you to behave? Maybe some milk.
  • - Oh.
  • - Milk, milk, milk, milk.
  • Stop.
  • Isn’t there anything you boys like to eat besides milk? BOTH: No.
  • Not even cake? - Uh - Uh, all right.
  • BOTH: We do like cake.
  • Then let’s walk to the store and get some cake mix.
  • Huh? Why can’t you drive there? Uh Dad doesn’t let her drive the truck because she always damages it.
  • - Ha! She can’t drive.
  • - She can’t drive.
  • - She can’t drive.
  • - She can’t drive.
  • [GRUMBLES] - Oh! - Ooh, gutter ball.
  • [LAUGHS] I want to hurt those damn bullies.
  • [GRUNTS] What’s wrong, Rick? Usually you love hurting bullies.
  • Eh, don’t worry about it.
  • BOTH: Yeah.
  • Squirt! Squirt! Whoa! [BOTH LAUGH] - [LAUGHS] - Ohh! Ohh! Sheriff, they’re cheating.
  • Wow, a 7-10 split.
  • - What? - That shot is impossible.
  • They’re cheating.
  • Sheriff, do something.
  • How about I bowl for you? - Uh.
  • - Trust me, bud.
  • I got this.
  • [SHOUTS] - Oh! - Oh, well.
  • Guess the Blorptons’ kids are yours now.
  • See you later.
  • [BOTH LAUGH] Fine.
  • You’re not fit to raise kids anyway.
  • - What? - Oh, yeah? - [GROWLS] - This isn’t over.
  • We’ll be seeing you real soon.
  • - Yeah.
  • [LAUGHS] - [LAUGHS] - Oh.
  • No! - [BOTH LAUGHING] Oh, boys, behave.
  • Stop! Hey! You need to control your kids.
  • - They’re not my kids.
  • - Come on.
  • Let’s take his legs.
  • [BOTH GRUNT] Hey! Oh, hey! [BOTH LAUGH] [BOTH GAGGING] Hey! Get out of the road.
  • - Shut up, pussy.
  • - [LAUGHS] Oh, damn.
  • [GROWLS] Bullies.
  • Boys, what is going on out here? You need to handle your kids.
  • Oh, they’re not my kids.
  • You need to spank your kids.
  • No.
  • Violence never solves anything.
  • That’s not true.
  • Violence solves everything.
  • What do you know? You don’t even ride motorcycles.
  • [LAUGHS] None of you pussies do.
  • - Hey! - [GROWLS] Boys, motorcycles are dangerous.
  • She’s right.
  • Listen to your mom, kids.
  • - They’re not my kids.
  • - What does she know about motorcycles? She can’t even drive.
  • Yeah, because she’s a pussy.
  • - Aah! - Ow! - [LAUGHS] - [GROWLS] What are you doing? Time to teach some bullies a lesson.
  • - Bye.
  • - Where are you taking them? Bye! Oh, they’ve got a clubhouse down that way, but you can’t get in without wheels, and apparently, you can’t drive, so oh, well.
  • [LAUGHS] [GRUMBLES] Mom, why did you get so much cake mix, huh? Go get my mixer and everything else from the kitchen.
  • So what are you doing, Mom? - Huh? Mom! - Go play with Mr. Pickles.
  • Mom is busy.
  • [LAUGHS] Come on, Rick.
  • Let’s spank these bullies.
  • - Yeah.
  • - Yeah! Ah, I don’t feel like it today.
  • - What? - Fine.
  • I’ll do it myself.
  • [LAUGHS] You spank like a pussy, - you pussy.
  • - Pussy.
  • [BOTH LAUGH] Bring out the torture devices.
  • All right.
  • Oh.
  • What’s this big-ass cake doing here? Ah, guys, you did remember my birthday! Birthday? Uh, I mean, happy birthday.
  • - Huh? - What? [ENGINE REVS] You messed with the wrong mom.
  • [ENGINE REVS] Come on, boys.
  • - Get her! - Dang, she slashed our tires.
  • Get the motorcycles.
  • In the coldness of the night Nocturnal flight under the moon The creature hunts for blood And human flesh will soon be strew Terror from above swooping down in eventide - Get her! - Storming on the wretched Who will have no chance to hide Searching Stalking Hunting - Watch out! - Banana! Aah! Aah! Driving Striking Slaying The deed is dead and done Searching Stalking Hunting The chase has just begun Driving Striking Slaying The deed is dead and done Beware of the bat When night falls all around Face the bite, fear for your life Wings of death will strike you down Chiroptera after dark Your blood the final mark Go get her! Victims screaming out in pain In the blackness, bat will reign Oh! - Get her! - All right.
  • Oh, no! [GROWLS] Hey.
  • You need to punish your kids.
  • Don’t talk with your mouth full.
  • [GRUNTS] Ohh! Ohh! You boys better be on your best behavior from now on.
  • BOTH: We promise.
  • [GROANS] See? Motorcycles are dangerous.
  • Ow.
  • [GRUMBLES] - Please just - What are you doing? - Guys, come on.
  • - Really? All right.
  • What seems to be the problem, Mr. Goodman? - Really? Look.
  • - Oh, that’s probably illegal.
  • All right.
  • Let’s go to jail, Blorptons.
  • - Huh? - Mom? You took our kids on a motorcycle? - She’s scary.
  • - Can we come home? Maybe you should ‘cause I’m a bad, bad mom.
  • Nunh-unh, no take backs.
  • Run! 7-10 split.
  • [shouts] [engine revs]
  • Beverly: Aah! Aah! Aah! [all groan]
  • Beverly, my truck.
  • Bullies’ dad: As soon as we’re out of these casts, we’re gonna beat all your asses.
  • - Get well soon, now.
  • - I can feed my own family.
  • Oh, yum, yum, yum, yum.
  • So you’re the parents? Well, you’re the problem. Ugh.
  • Oh, guys, you did remember my birthday! Pinatas, my favorite!

[muffled screaming]