This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Bubblestand" from season one, which aired on July 17, 1999.


SpongeBob: [SpongeBob walks outside, and breathes in the fresh air] Ahh, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful. [SpongeBob immediately grabs wood, a hammer, and nails, and starts building a stand. Squidward peeks his head out the window] Squidward: Can we lower the volume, please?! I cant work with all that racket going on!

SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Squidward.

Squidward: Ha, yeah right.

SpongeBob: OK. [he taps on a nail lightly, and he looks up at Squidwards window. He does it again, and continues to, making sure he doesnt make too much noise. Meanwhile, in Squids house, Squidward has his clarinet on hand]

Squidward: And now, some soothing sounds from Squidwards clarinet. Thank you, thank you. [he starts to play. SpongeBob looks up and sees that Squidward is playing, so he decides to finish his stand quickly. Squidward looks out the window again]

Squidward: I thought I - wha?

SpongeBob: Hey Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents.

Squidward: Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles.

SpongeBob: Uh huh!

Squidward: Oh please! I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles? [Patrick is coming out of his house, stuck to the underside of the rock]

Patrick: Good morning! [he falls and screams]

Squidward: Oh, boy. [Patrick walks over to Sponge]

SpongeBob: Good morning to you sir. Would you care to blow a bubble? Patrick: Hmm, how much is it?

SpongeBob: Only a quarter.

Patrick: Sounds reasonable. [whispering] Umm, Im going to need to borrow a quarter.

SpongeBob: Sure thing, Patrick. [he pulls out a quarter and he gives it to Patrick]

Patrick: Ah, one quarter. [he hands the quarter back to Sponge, and bites it to see if its real]

SpongeBob: Thank you. [cut back to Squid]

Squidward: Ha, business is booming. [he laughs] How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Heh. [he continues playing. Cut back to SpongeBob and Pat. SpongeBob dips the wand in the bubble soap]

SpongeBob: One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go. [Patrick grabs wand from Sponge, inhales deeply and begins to blow. After a while, SpongeBob puts up a "Lessons" sign] Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents.

Patrick: Uh, very well then. Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter? [SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter] Thanks. [he winks and hands the quarter back to Sponge]

SpongeBob: OK, Patrick, its all in the technique! [he starts doing his infamous routine] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two three. Theeeen PELVIC THRUST. Whoooo, whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, DONT FORGET IT! Now its time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then-[he blows bubbles shaped like ducks]

Patrick: Oooh. [SpongeBob pops out of nowhere and blows a box. Patrick giggles and SpongeBob blows a caterpillar. Patrick continues to giggle. SpongeBob blows a boat, and it floats off, pops, and makes a foghorn noise. Cut to Squids house] Squidward: Huh? [he shakes his clarinet. Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick] SpongeBob: And now... with two hands! [he inhales deeply and blows out an elephant. Circus music starts playing and Patrick laughs]

Patrick: Its a giraffe! [Patrick continues laughing, and the elephant floats over into Squids house and pops. Tons of smaller bubbles come out of the house, and Squidward opens the door with a sour look on his face. SpongeBob and Patrick hide behind the stand. SpongeBob places a "Closed" sign on it. Squidward looks over it] SpongeBob: Excuse me sir but we are clo-

Squidward: Dont give me any of that! How can you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?

SpongeBob: Were not just blowing bubbles, were making bubble art! Watch carefully. First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two three. Theeeen PELVIC THRUST. Whoooo, whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, DONT FORGET IT! Now its time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then- [he blows a butterfly, which flies over to Squid, lands on his head, and pops]

Squidward: Thats not art! Thats just annoying! Blowing bubbles, thats the lamest idea I have ever heard! [SpongeBob and Pat, depressed, head to Sponges house] You should be ashamed of yourselves! [he laughs to himself] Bubbles. [he continues laughing] Art. [he mumbles, and picks up the bubble wand, sniffs it, and inhales to blow. Then, SpongeBob pops up out of nowhere]

SpongeBob: Thatll be 25 cents, sir.

Squidward: Ah, whoa, what? Oh... who-who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles?

SpongeBob: We also offer lessons for beginners.

Squidward: Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? [he pulls a quarter out] Heres your 25 cents! [SpongeBob bites it to test if its real and it bends] Watch and learn. [he inhales and blows, but nothing happens] Uhm, wait, wait, wait. [he inhales and blows again, but nothing happens again] One more time. Wait. [he inhales and blows again, and a small bubble comes out and instantly falls to the ground and bursts. Squidward looks over at SpongeBob and Pat, and they gulp, and then whistle. Squidward places another quarter on the stand] Just a mere warm-up. [he dips the wand in the bubble container, inhales deeply and blows hard. The bubble falls to the ground again, gets another quarter out, puts it on the stand]

SpongeBob: Hey Squidward, remember the technique. [Squidward keeps trying while SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to show him the technique]

SpongeBob and Patrick: Technique, technique, Tech- SpongeBob: [weakly] Youre not doing the technique.

Squidward: Technique? Technique!? Technique, technique, technique, technique, TECHNIQUE! [he starts to do the technique, while imitating SpongeBob’‘] First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take three times. And here we go- pelvic thrust. Wehooooo, wehoohoo. Stop on your right foot, dont forget it. Then bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, a little of that, this this, that and that. And that and this. this that this that. Then [he screams into the wand, blowing a gargantuan bubble that lifts him off the ground]

SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow! [Squidward falls]

SpongeBob: All right Squid! That was so good!

Patrick: Squid is number one!

Squidward: I really did it, didnt I? You guys didnt blow anything like that!

SpongeBob: No.

Squidward: Now thats a bubble!

SpongeBob: You said it, Squidward. See, it is all in the technique!

Patrick: Yeah, technique. Squidward: Technique? Hah! SpongeBob, you dont think I created that [kisses his tentacle] beautiful work of art with your help? [he starts laughing] Come on, its in my genes. SpongeBob and Patrick: Squids got genes! Squids got genes! [Squidward walks back to his house] Squidward: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. [he starts to play his clarinet. SpongeBob and Patrick chant Squids name] I rock. [SpongeBob and Patrick continue to chant, and Squids bubble flies over them, covers the house, and pulls it out of the ground and up towards the top of the ocean. SpongeBob notices and stops Patrick]

SpongeBob: [concerned] Squidward!

SpongeBob and Pat: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!

Squidward: Hello my friends, you are looking at a- [he sees how far he is from the surface]


Patrick: Squidward!

Squidward: -genius. [the bubble violently explodes and the ground rumbles. SpongeBob and Patrick look in awe]

SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow... [the two run back to their homes. Squidwards house floats back to the surface, his clarinet plays weakly at the end of his Thankfulness song]