[all talking at once]
Velma: Another mystery bites the dust
Fred: Way to go, gang!
Daphne: Let's celebrate!
Scooby: Yeah. Celebrate
Bronson: Better idea
Fred: Aw, come on, Sheriff
Bronson: Just cork it. You see this badge? Know why it's here?
Velma: It came with the shirt?
Bronson: It's here because if there's a crime, I solve it. Oh, and by the way, I've called all your parents, who, by now, I have on speed dial. (laughs) Oh, are you in trouble. Especially you, Fred. Say hi to dad, the mayor
Daphne: Just once, it would be nice if someone thanked us for solving a mystery
Fred: Good thing we're not in this to be liked. Maybe that didn't come out quite right
[theme music playing]
Velma: Welcome to the Crystal Cove haunted tour. I'm your ghoulish guide Velma. The first documented case of the curse of Crystal Cove is from 1630, when a garrison of Spanish conquistadors mysteriously vanished from the harbor
-Oh, that is so scary! Where did they go?
Velma: What part of the word "mystery" didn't you understand? The curse struck again in 1765 when an entire town of missionaries likewise disappeared
Velma: Anyway, things were pretty quiet until 100 years later, when Cletus Darrow found gold here and renamed the town Crystal Cove
Velma: Most people thought the curse had been lifted, until the entire Darrow family disappeared one Halloween and was never seen again
Velma: Moving on
Velma: Since the disappearance of the Darrow family, Crystal Cove has been a hub of paranormal activity. You might recognize some of our more famous visitors--Ghostly Deep Sea Diver Captain Cutler, Miner '49er, Charlie the Haunted Robot, and who could forget the terrifying stylings of Space Kook? Not me
-Oh! How frightening
-Oh! Absolutely blood-curdling
Velma: Not really. They all turned out to be fakes
[all gasp and murmur]
Velma: Yep. Captain Cutler was just some guy who was hijacking boats. Miner '49er's real name was Hank. Charlie belonged to Mr. Jenkins, who thought it would be easier to run an amusement park with a crazy robot. And Space Kook? Oh, don't get me started! Ooh!
Dale: Thank you, Velma. Well, that concludes the terror-ific tour
Angie: Don't forget to stop in at the haunted snack shop for souvenirs and your complimentary undead sipper cup
Angie: What do you think you were doing?
Dale: Are you trying to destroy our business?
Velma: Reboot, parentals. I was just being honest
Dale: Those were isolated incidents in Crystal Cove's otherwise-unblemished supernatural past of hauntings and paranormal happenings
Velma: Your generation's belief, not mine. My generation, we only got one thing on our minds
Fred: Solving mysteries and building traps
Fred Jones Sr.: That's 2 things, Fred
Fred: You know what I mean, dad. We just want answers. Is that wrong?
Fred Jones Sr.: Tickling chin whiskers, Fred. The mayor's son is supposed to set an example
Fred: I'm trying, dad. In fact, just yesterday, I entered one of my traps in the district science fair. It was rejected for not actually having anything to do with science, but--
Fred Jones Sr.: I just don't want you to make a mistake you'll regret
Fred: You mean like making a bad trap?
Fred Jones Sr.: No! Life is not all about traps. It's also about--
Scooby: Pancakes. And bacon
Shaggy: And sausages, and orange juice
[both slurping and gulping]
Paula: Don't forget to chew
Colton: And breathe
Shaggy: Mmm. (chuckles) Like, thanks, mom and dad
Scooby: Yeah. Thanks, mom and dad
Colton: Your mother and I are worried about this mystery phase you're going through. We're not saying find new friends. We're--
Paula: Yes, we are. Find new friends
Shaggy: Oh, you guys have got nothing to worry about, man. Me and Scoob always play it safe. If there's danger...
Scooby: We run, fast. Really fast
Shaggy: And as for our friends, if you guys just gave them a chance, you'd see...
Daphne: The gang is misunderstood. We're just solving mysteries. All the kids are doing it
Nan & Barty: No, they're not
Nan: And what about this Fred Jones? Certainly, there must be other boys
Daphne: Not like Fred. He's, like, one of those geniuses that no one understands until they're dead. He sees things different. And he wants to catch those different things in his traps
Barty: Honey, we just want you to go on to have a rich career, like your sisters
Daphne: Oh, that's Fred and the gang. Got to go. Don't want to be late for school. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. Bye, Daisy. Bye, Dawn. Bye, Dorothy. Bye, Delilah
Foreman: Hey, you sure you guys don't want any of this Fruitmeier's smoothie? Oh, it's delic--aah! What the whoosit? Which one of you broke that wall?
-We barely touched it
-Is that another sewer?
Foreman: Impossible. There's only one sewer, and we're in it. Unless...
-We've broken into another dimension
Foreman: No, idiot, we busted through to one of the old Crystal Cove caves
-Huh? I think there's something in there. What should we do?
Foreman: Well, it's pretty clear, isn't it? Those are radioactive symbols, meaning what's ever inside is dangerous, meaning we need to open it right away. Don't want what's ever in there to mess up our schedule
-Hey, I think I see something
[grunting and panting]
Velma: Why didn't you text me last night? I waited up for you
Shaggy: (gulps) Um, like, me and Scoob ordered a pizza, and then we just fell asleep watching a Vincent Van Ghoul movie
Velma: Ok. Apology accepted. But I still missed you
Shaggy: Not here. Velma, not in public
Velma: Why? Daphne and Fred are going to find out sooner or later
Shaggy: I'm not worried about them. It's Scooby-Doo. He's my best friend. I want to break it to him, like, gently. I'm just waiting for the right time
Velma: How about now? Hey, Scooby!
Shaggy: Zoiks! (laughs) Like, what was that?
Fred: It looks like a mystery to me. And I think that's just a little more important than school
Velma: These are military--from the oxidation, probably 30, 40 years old
Daphne: Hey. Fred, I found something
[music box playing]
Fred: Mmm. Could be a clue. Good work, Daphne
Daphne: (chuckles) Thanks, Fred. You're so sweet. (gasps) It's ok. We can talk later. Heh
[indistinct chattering over police radio]
Bronson: All right, you see what happens when you kids stick your noses where they don't belong? People get cocooned!
Shaggy: Like, man, we found them like that
Daphne: Sheriff, there was a monster--
Bronson: Quiet. From this point forward, this is a crime scene and future tourist attraction. Stay out of it
Velma: I got his stay out of it right here
Fred: Let me talk to him
Daphne: Don't worry. Fred will make him understand
Fred: Shaggy, start the car
Shaggy: Wait. I thought you were going to talk to him
Fred: He wasn't in a listening mood
Velma: So you stole a body? Rockin'
Fred: Don't worry. I know just who can help us
Professor Raffalo: All right. Who can tell me what photosynthesis is? And please, don't say "plant farts"
Professor Raffalo: Huh?
Fred: Professor Raffalo? We need your help
Professor Raffalo: Couldn't you kids have waited for break?
Shaggy: Is he...
Professor Raffalo: No. He's alive. But he appears to be in some sort of dehydrated stasis. I don't quite know what that means, but I'm guessing it's temporary
Scooby: (slurps) Mmm. Scooby snacks
Daphne: Do you know what could have done this?
Professor Raffalo: (sighs) The cocoon material looks organic, but I'll need to do further tests. The sheriff okayed this?
Fred: Uh, of course he did. What, do you think we stole a body? (laughs) That's--that's rich. Ha ha