Transcripts Wiki

Act 1

[all talking at once]

Velma: Another mystery bites the dust

Fred: Way to go, gang!

Daphne: Let's celebrate!

Scooby: Yeah. Celebrate

[all gasp]

Bronson: Better idea

Fred: Aw, come on, Sheriff

Bronson: Just cork it. You see this badge? Know why it's here?

Velma: It came with the shirt?

Bronson: It's here because if there's a crime, I solve it. Oh, and by the way, I've called all your parents, who, by now, I have on speed dial. (laughs) Oh, are you in trouble. Especially you, Fred. Say hi to dad, the mayor

Act 2

[door shuts]

Daphne: Just once, it would be nice if someone thanked us for solving a mystery

Fred: Good thing we're not in this to be liked. Maybe that didn't come out quite right

Act 3

[theme music playing]

[gulls cawing]

Act 4

Velma: Welcome to the Crystal Cove haunted tour. I'm your ghoulish guide Velma. The first documented case of the curse of Crystal Cove is from 1630, when a garrison of Spanish conquistadors mysteriously vanished from the harbor

-Oh, that is so scary! Where did they go?

Velma: What part of the word "mystery" didn't you understand? The curse struck again in 1765 when an entire town of missionaries likewise disappeared

[crowd gasps]

[yawns]

Velma: Anyway, things were pretty quiet until 100 years later, when Cletus Darrow found gold here and renamed the town Crystal Cove

[shutter clicks]

Velma: Most people thought the curse had been lifted, until the entire Darrow family disappeared one Halloween and was never seen again

[woman screams]

[all gasp]

Velma: Moving on

Act 5

Velma: Since the disappearance of the Darrow family, Crystal Cove has been a hub of paranormal activity. You might recognize some of our more famous visitors--Ghostly Deep Sea Diver Captain Cutler, Miner '49er, Charlie the Haunted Robot, and who could forget the terrifying stylings of Space Kook? Not me

-Oh! How frightening

-Oh! Absolutely blood-curdling

Velma: Not really. They all turned out to be fakes

[all gasp and murmur]

Velma: Yep. Captain Cutler was just some guy who was hijacking boats. Miner '49er's real name was Hank. Charlie belonged to Mr. Jenkins, who thought it would be easier to run an amusement park with a crazy robot. And Space Kook? Oh, don't get me started! Ooh!

Dale: Thank you, Velma. Well, that concludes the terror-ific tour

Angie: Don't forget to stop in at the haunted snack shop for souvenirs and your complimentary undead sipper cup

[indistinct chattering]

Act 6

Angie: What do you think you were doing?

Dale: Are you trying to destroy our business?

Velma: Reboot, parentals. I was just being honest

Dale: Those were isolated incidents in Crystal Cove's otherwise-unblemished supernatural past of hauntings and paranormal happenings

Velma: Your generation's belief, not mine. My generation, we only got one thing on our minds

Act 7

Fred: Solving mysteries and building traps

Fred Jones Sr.: That's 2 things, Fred

Fred: You know what I mean, dad. We just want answers. Is that wrong?

Fred Jones Sr.: Tickling chin whiskers, Fred. The mayor's son is supposed to set an example

Fred: I'm trying, dad. In fact, just yesterday, I entered one of my traps in the district science fair. It was rejected for not actually having anything to do with science, but--

Fred Jones Sr.: I just don't want you to make a mistake you'll regret

Fred: You mean like making a bad trap?

Fred Jones Sr.: No! Life is not all about traps. It's also about--

Act 8

Scooby: Pancakes. And bacon

Shaggy: And sausages, and orange juice

[both slurping and gulping]

Paula: Don't forget to chew

Colton: And breathe

Shaggy: Mmm. (chuckles) Like, thanks, mom and dad

Scooby: Yeah. Thanks, mom and dad

Colton: Your mother and I are worried about this mystery phase you're going through. We're not saying find new friends. We're--

Paula: Yes, we are. Find new friends

Shaggy: Oh, you guys have got nothing to worry about, man. Me and Scoob always play it safe. If there's danger...

Scooby: We run, fast. Really fast

Shaggy: And as for our friends, if you guys just gave them a chance, you'd see...

Act 9

Daphne: The gang is misunderstood. We're just solving mysteries. All the kids are doing it

Nan & Barty: No, they're not

Nan: And what about this Fred Jones? Certainly, there must be other boys

Daphne: Not like Fred. He's, like, one of those geniuses that no one understands until they're dead. He sees things different. And he wants to catch those different things in his traps

Barty: Honey, we just want you to go on to have a rich career, like your sisters

[horn honks]

Daphne: Oh, that's Fred and the gang. Got to go. Don't want to be late for school. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. Bye, Daisy. Bye, Dawn. Bye, Dorothy. Bye, Delilah

Act 10

[jack hammering]

Foreman: Hey, you sure you guys don't want any of this Fruitmeier's smoothie? Oh, it's delic--aah! What the whoosit? Which one of you broke that wall?

-We barely touched it

-Is that another sewer?

Foreman: Impossible. There's only one sewer, and we're in it. Unless...

-We've broken into another dimension

Foreman: No, idiot, we busted through to one of the old Crystal Cove caves

Act 11

[grunts]

[growls]

-Huh? I think there's something in there. What should we do?

Foreman: Well, it's pretty clear, isn't it? Those are radioactive symbols, meaning what's ever inside is dangerous, meaning we need to open it right away. Don't want what's ever in there to mess up our schedule

[grunts]

[hisses]

-Hey, I think I see something

[growls]

[men scream]

Act 12

[grunting and panting]

Act 13

Velma: Why didn't you text me last night? I waited up for you

Shaggy: (gulps) Um, like, me and Scoob ordered a pizza, and then we just fell asleep watching a Vincent Van Ghoul movie

Velma: Ok. Apology accepted. But I still missed you

[whimpers]

Shaggy: Not here. Velma, not in public

Velma: Why? Daphne and Fred are going to find out sooner or later

Shaggy: I'm not worried about them. It's Scooby-Doo. He's my best friend. I want to break it to him, like, gently. I'm just waiting for the right time

Velma: How about now? Hey, Scooby!

[gasps]

Act 14

[indistinct roar]

Act 15

[all scream]

[roaring]

[screams]

[roars]

[all scream]

[snarling]

[all screaming]

Shaggy: Zoiks! (laughs) Like, what was that?

Fred: It looks like a mystery to me. And I think that's just a little more important than school

Act 16

Velma: These are military--from the oxidation, probably 30, 40 years old

Daphne: Hey. Fred, I found something

[music box playing]

Fred: Mmm. Could be a clue. Good work, Daphne

Daphne: (chuckles) Thanks, Fred. You're so sweet. (gasps) It's ok. We can talk later. Heh

[sniffing]

Daphne: Hmm

[water dripping]

[whimpers]

[screams]

Act 17

[siren blares]

[indistinct chattering over police radio]

Bronson: All right, you see what happens when you kids stick your noses where they don't belong? People get cocooned!

Shaggy: Like, man, we found them like that

Daphne: Sheriff, there was a monster--

Bronson: Quiet. From this point forward, this is a crime scene and future tourist attraction. Stay out of it

Act 18

Velma: I got his stay out of it right here

Fred: Let me talk to him

Act 19

Daphne: Don't worry. Fred will make him understand

Fred: Shaggy, start the car

Shaggy: Wait. I thought you were going to talk to him

Fred: He wasn't in a listening mood

Velma: So you stole a body? Rockin'

[grunts]

Act 20

[engine revs]

Fred: Don't worry. I know just who can help us

Act 21

[bell rings]

Professor Raffalo: All right. Who can tell me what photosynthesis is? And please, don't say "plant farts"

[sighs]

[door opens]

Professor Raffalo: Huh?

Fred: Professor Raffalo? We need your help

[screaming]

Professor Raffalo: Couldn't you kids have waited for break?

Act 22

Shaggy: Is he...

[gulps]

Professor Raffalo: No. He's alive. But he appears to be in some sort of dehydrated stasis. I don't quite know what that means, but I'm guessing it's temporary

Act 23

Scooby: (slurps) Mmm. Scooby snacks

[screeches]

Act 24

Daphne: Do you know what could have done this?

Professor Raffalo: (sighs) The cocoon material looks organic, but I'll need to do further tests. The sheriff okayed this?

Fred: Uh, of course he did. What, do you think we stole a body? (laughs) That's--that's rich. Ha ha

Act 25

[calliope playing]

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