Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV series): Season: 3 Episode: 1

Previous transcript: Next transcript:
Becoming, Part 2 Dead Man's Party

[incomplete & not enough]

  • Demon Guard: (to Buffy) "Who are you?"
  • Buffy: (looks up at him and smiles) "I’m Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and you are?" (The demon guard looks surprised, while Buffy takes what she sees as an opportunity to engage him in a battle)
  • Willow: (to Oz about school) "Oh, I’m gonna be busy a lot. But, but only till 3:00, and that’s when you usually get up."
  • Giles: "Well, for God’s sake, be careful. I mean, I appreciate your efforts to keep the vampire population down until Buffy returns, but if anything should happen to you, you should be hurt or killed, I shall take it somewhat amiss."
  • Oz: "Well, it’s kind of a funny story. Y’remember when I didn’t graduate?"
  • Willow: "Well I know you had a lot of incompletes but that’s what summer school is for."
  • Oz: "Yeah, well. Y’remember when I didn’t go?"
  • Xander: "I know what we need."
  • Oz: "A Vampire Slayer?"
  • Xander: "No, the next best thing. (looks at Cordelia) Bait."
  • Xander: "First of all, what was with the acrobatics? How did that happen?"
  • Oz: "Wasn’t Andy Hoelich on the gymnastics team?"
  • Xander: "That’s right, he was! Cheater!"
  • Xander: "I can’t wait to see Cordelia. I can’t believe I can’t wait to see Cordelia.
  • Willow: "I wonder what our first homework assignment’s gonna be. Hey, you’re excited over Cordelia, okay? We’ve all got issues."
  • Oz: "Oh, I don’t know. I think we’re kinda gettin’ a rhythm down."
  • Xander: "We’re losing half the vamps."
  • Oz: "Yeah, but… rhythmically."
  • Buffy: "You know, I just - I woke up and I looked in the mirror and I thought, "Hey, what’s with all the sin? I need to change. I’m-I’m dirty, I’m-I’m bad with the sex, and the envy, and that-that loud music us kids listen to nowadays. B-" Oh, I just suck at undercover."
  • Lily: "Can I be Anne?"
  • Xander: "You don’t hide. You’re bait. Go act baity."
  • Cordelia: "What’s the plan?"
  • Xander: "The vampire attacks you."
  • Cordelia: "And then what?"
  • Xander: "The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice."
  • Buffy: "Hey, Ken. Wanna see my impression of Gandhi?" (impales him in the head)
  • Lily: "Gandhi?"
  • Buffy: "Well, you know, if he was really pissed off."