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- (LIP-SYNCING)

- Well, he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance He looked kind of nice And so I said I might take a chance When he danced he held me tight And when he walked me home that night All the stars were shining bright And then he kissed me Each time I saw him I couldn't wait to see him again I wanted to let him know that he was more than a friend I didn't knowjust what to do So I whispered, "I love you" And he said that he loved me too And then he kissed me He kissed me in a way That I've never been kissed before He kissed me in a way That I wanna be kissed forever more I knew that he was mine So I gave him all the love that I had And one day he took me home to meet his mom and his dad Then he asked me to be his bride And always be right by his side I felt so happy I almost cried And then he kissed me (CAR HORN HONKING) Oh, God. He's here. (DOORBELL RINGING) (SIGHS NERVOUSLY) Okay, Chris, just relax. Tonight is going to be the greatest night of your life. Hi. Hi, Chris. - I'm a little bit overdressed. - No, it's just... I got to cancel. My little sister got sick and my parents are going out tonight. Well, I could come over and help out. We could make some chicken soup or something. No, you don't want to be there. She's contagious. I don't want you to get sick. We'll do the French restaurant thing next week, okay? Okay. When? I don't know. Friday, Saturday. I got to get going. My sister's waiting for me. You're upset about tonight, aren't you? No. Well, yeah, a little. But I understand. You know, Chris, girls like you come along once in a lifetime. Whoa... Contagious. - Contagious? - Yeah, that's what he said. He's lying. Brenda! Ugh, God. I don't know why you're making such a big deal about him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He's the only thing that's ever happened to you. That's why we've got to get out. It's like a Dairy Queen. You only get one flavor. (SCOFFS) You know, I asked you over here to cheer me up. I feel worse. - (TELEPHONE RINGING) - Oh, Chris, I'm sorry. I'm just in a really bad mood. My parents are driving me crazy. My stepmom is such a pain. If I don't get out of the house I'm going to spike her Tab with Drano. Don't do that. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) - Chris? Hi, Brenda. - BRENDA: Hi. - Hi, Mom. - That was Mrs. Anderson. She wants to know if you can babysit for her tonight. - No. Tell her I can't. - Why not? - Wait, aren't we doing something? - I have to go home. Because I want to stay home and be depressed. Sit for the Andersons. That'll depress anyone. (SIGHS) I'm too old to babysit. (SINGING) Sometimes you know what you're looking for Sometimes you don't make it out the door This time I know what I'm doing I'm not fooling 'Cause I just can't stop Trying to get a hold on you I just can't stop, I won't give up Guess what, Brad? Mom is going to kill you for wearing skates indoors. Mom's got to catch me first. Guess what? I don't care, winghead. Mom got Chris to babysit for me. Chris? - Oh my... - (GIGGLING) - Sara! - Bye! Chris. Chris is coming. Would you get out of the way? Chris is coming. Oh, no. - Hi, Chris. Come on in. - Hi. Thanks a million for this. - I'm sorry about the short notice. - No problem. I'm glad I could help out. Sara. Sara! - Did you take my Clearasil again? - I ran out of brown. Great. How am I supposed to cover up my zits? - You want some orange? - I can't use paint. What do you think? I figure it's my best yet. I got the sun rays and the cape and the special helmet... Great! You wasted all my Clearasil on another picture of Thor? - Thor's my hero. - Thor's a homo. Is not. Yeah, he is. - Is not. - Thor's a complete homo. Take it back, Brad. Take back what you said about Thor. You are going to kill somebody with these things. Take it back, Brad. Take back what you said about Thor. No. If you don't take it back, I'll tell Chris about all those love poems you write about her. All right, Sara. I'm sorry. - Thor's not a homo. - Thank you. - Hi, Chris. - Hi. (SARA GIGGLING) Hi. Hi. You didn't just hear what my... - Oh, no. - Cool. Boy, you look great. I mean, really. - Your hair. Your eyes. - What about them? They're so well-placed. - Brad, relax. - Relax... Shall I take your coat? CHRIS: Oh! Sorry. I'm sorry. - I didn't... Sorry. - Thank you. Boy, this is a really cool coat. No way is this from Sears or anything. - This is way too cool. - It was my grandpa's. - He's got great taste. - He's dead. Brad, stop fawning all over Chris. Come on in the kitchen, honey. - CHRIS: Yeah, she did. - We played bridge the other night. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - Hi. - Hiya, Chris. - Brad did it. - Brad, clean it up. - Sure, Mom. - All right, Chris. I got some notes for you. We're going to be at a reception at the Associates Center. Here. Sara is not to wear her skates in the house. - Now, Sara, Chris is in charge, okay? - Sure. - Can we go to Hagen-Dazs? - Well, yes. Yes, but don't go too late, all right? Brad will stay at his friend Daryl's tonight, so don't worry about him. This one is just getting over a very bad cough... - It's been almost two weeks. - So I want her to take some of this. Give her a spoonful in about an hour and another before she goes to bed. Will you stop eating chocolate? You're going to have zits all over your face. (BOTH GIGGLING) Mom! Jesus! - You guys have a good time. - We should be home by 1:00. - Okay. - Take good care of my baby. I'll guard her with my life. - Bye. - Goodbye. Brad, into the kitchen and clean up that mess. (RHYTHMIC KNOCKING AT DOOR) That's the back door. I'll get it. Come on, Chris. Let's go watch some TV. (KNOCKING CONTINUES) - Are you coming over or what? - No, not anymore. - Chris is here, isn't she? - No. Yes, she is. That's why I'm sleeping here tonight. - I don't think so. - Come on. - Did you get her clothes off yet? - Don't be crude. Get back. You fall in love and suddenly you're a classy guy. - I have not fallen in love. - What's she wearing? - Clothes. Now get out. - You got to see the new Playboy. There's this girl in it and she looks exactly like Chris. She's got these humongous... Ugh. Oh, God. - Who was at the door? - Stray dog. What? Are you going to go to college? CHRIS: Huh? Oh, great! Thanks, Mom. - You're going to college? - No. - Thank God. - Calm down. (PHONE RINGING) Maybe it's Mike. Hello? OPERATOR: Will you accept a collect call from Brenda? Sure. Chris, it's Brenda. - Brenda... - Chris. Brenda, what's wrong? - Oh, Chris, I'm in trouble. - You're always in trouble. No, I'm really in trouble. I did it. - You spiked her Tab with Drano? - No, I ran away from home. You what? Where are you? - I'm at the bus station downtown. - Look, just don't go anywhere. I can't. I have no money. I spent it all on the cab here. - Chris, I need help. - I know. - You're in my house. - If I take a cab to the Andersons', - could you pay for it? - Oh, no, that's going to be like $40. - I don't have $40. - Well, can you pick me up? No, I'm babysitting. I can't call anybody else. My dad doesn't know. He'd kill me if he found out. I'm begging you. It's really scary here. I've seen three people shoot up, a bald Chinese lady with no pants on, and there's this old guy outside who wants his slippers. Get out of my house! You've just moved! - Please hurry up and get here. - I've got my mom's car. I can't drive it into the city. Oh, my God. There's a man with a gun. - Get me the hell out of here. - Look, just hang up and sit down. Don't move. I'll be there in half an hour. Please hurry. I think he's going to kill somebody. Maybe me. Brenda? - I don't believe this. I do not. - Who's Mike? He your boyfriend? Yes. I've got to go downtown. - Brad, will you watch Sara? - No way. - What if the house explodes? - The house is not going to explode. You leave him here and it will. I will be gone an hour there and back. That's it. Okay? - You guys go steady or what? - What? - Do you? - Yes. Are you two listening to me? My mom is paying you good money to watch me. Brad can watch you. Why would my mom pay you good money for Brad to watch me? Sara... - Why can't we just all go? - Because. - Do you like him a lot? - No. Yes. - Well, which is it? - Yes. I like him a lot. No, Sara, your parents would die if they found out I took you into the city. They'd die if they found out you left me here alone with him. Well, who's going to tell them? - Anybody have to go to the bathroom? - Nope. Come on, let's go. Now, if anybody asks, we went for ice cream. Okay. - Road trip? - Jesus. - Where are you going? - SARA: Downtown. The city? Hey, can I go? - No, Daryl. Go home. - Who is this kid? - Stray dog. - Daryl Coopersmith. - And you're Chris Parker, right? - Daryl, go home. - You must be a great babysitter. - What is he talking about? Mr. And Mrs. Anderson must really trust you to take little kids into the city. Alone. - Yeah, isn't it great? - It is so great that I'll get my mom to talk to the Andersons about you. - Then maybe you can babysit for me. - Stop him. And then maybe we can drive off to New York or something just for kicks. - Chris... - Daryl. - You think? - What am I supposed to do? - Get in the car and run him over. - Let him come. - Daryl! - Sorry, can't talk. Got to run. Will you just get in the car? All right! Now, boys, I swear if you give me any grief over the next 60 minutes, I swear to God I'll kill you. Dead. Murdered. Stabbed. - Raped? - I am too old for this crap. (CHUCKLING) (SINGING) It's 25 miles from home, girl My feet are hurting mighty bad BRAD: Mike what? CHRIS: "Mike what," what? DARYL: What are we talking about? - BRAD: What's his last name? - Todwell. - Are you writing a book? - Mike Todwell? Do you know him? They go out. He's got a red Camaro, right? Oh, gee, Daryl. Are you a gearhead and a sex fiend? A lot of people have Camaros. But do a lot of people have the license plate "SO COOL"? (BOYS LAUGHING) That's Mike. He's the guy who beat me up for touching his car, which I didn't do. - That was him? - That was him. - Mike wouldn't do that. - Yes, he would. - He would not. - He did. He kicked my ass. - Want to see the footprint? - ALL: No. Look. That's where Thor lives. - Thor? - All the superheroes live in the city. Spider-Man, Daredevil, and Captain America. But Thor's the best. He fights the forces of darkness. Forces of darkness, beware. So the babysitter goes upstairs and the sound keeps getting louder. Scrape, scrape, scrape. The babysitter stops at the kids' room. She reaches for the doorknob. Her hand is trembling, her heart is beating fast. Sweat pours down her face. She opens the door... (GASPS) And the kids are safely in their beds. (SIGHS WITH RELIEF) I'd like to be safely in her bed. - What are you guys doing back there? - Uh. Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing. Really. That was my dad's, stupid. You shouldn't have brought it along, stupid. God! - So what happens? - Okay. But when the babysitter looks more closely at the kids, she sees that - they don't have any faces! - Oh, my God! - It's just a pool of mushy goo. - Like SpaghettiOs? - SpaghettiOs with meat. - Yuck! The babysitter screams and turns to run, but there's this big, giant hairy guy standing right in front of her. He raises his right arm, but there's a big metal hook instead of a hand. And the hook goes for her face. - Scrape, scrape, scrape! - (SCREAMING) - Oh, no! - All right! - You got a flat. Pull over. - This is great. To the right, go to the right. - Slowly. Take it easy. - This is not funny. BRAD: Hold it steady. - Go slow. Pull over. - I'm pulling over. This is great. (SARA GIGGLING) (LAUGHING) (SIGHS) Uh... - Where's the spare? - I don't know. Maybe it's on the car. You think? Okay. We are going to flag somebody down and we'll go buy a tire. I've got my checkbook. My purse. Oh, shit. I forgot my purse. I don't have any money. - I don't have my license. - Did you forget your purse? Yes, you little asshole. - She's great. - Wait, I got some money. - Here. - What, 50 cents? You don't have any money. You're a kid, for Christ's sake. Yeah, she's right. You're a kid, for Christ's sake. - You don't have any money. - Why don't you take a walk over there? Everybody stay behind me. (WHISTLING) You kids having some trouble? You got a spare? - No. - Sara! (CHUCKLING) You went on the expressway without a spare? - We're history. - Ancient history. (ALL SCREAMING) Just relax. Stay calm. Don't panic. - What do you want? - Just want to help you. Don't listen to him. He just wants to scrape our faces off. - What, are you scared of this? - (ALL WHIMPER) You kids must be from the suburbs. I suddenly feel like a total idiot. Just stay here, okay? I'll be right back. Listen, I'm really sorry for freaking out back there. - I guess we just overreacted. - That's okay. I'm used to it. Listen, I appreciate this, but we don't have any money. I'm stuck babysitting for these kids, and... I'm not supposed to be taking them into the city like this. I'm just not. I'll tell you what. I'll tow you to town, to Dawson's Garage, and I'll buy you a tire. My treat, okay? (LAUGHS) Okay? Oh, no, that wouldn't be right. What would be right? Leaving you kids alone on the expressway? No, I guess not. - My name's Chris. Chris Parker. - Pruitt. Handsome John Pruitt. - Hey, mister? - Yeah, Red. What? How did you, you know, lose it? - Lose what? - Your hand. - Was it in 'Nam? - Nah, afraid not. I was changing a tire on a big rig and the jack gave out. Back of the truck fell on the hand and popped it right off. - Vietnam! - What did they do with the hand? - Did they bury it? - No, I wouldn't let them. - I kept it. - You kept it? Yep. I got it in the glove compartment. - DAWSON: (ON CB) Pruitt. - Yo. - Dawson here. - Yes. I just went by your place. - And what did you see? - You won't like it. - What did you see? - That car was parked in front. She's with that bastard again. (TRUCK HORN HONKING) Oh, my God. Oh! (GASPING) - Stop, Mr. Pruitt, please! Slow down. - This is great. That's my mother's car. - Okay, look out, kids. - Oh, God! - Is it a hand? - BRAD: No. - Oh, good. - It's a gun. Oh, God! Can we do that again? (MAN AND WOMAN TALKING AND LAUGHING INDISTINCTLY) (PRUITT YELLING) What's going on in there? (GUN FIRING) (WOMAN CRYING AND SCREAMING) I can't believe this. PRUITT: I mean it. I'm going to kill him! Please don't hurt him. Everybody out. Be careful. No, please! My mom's car! - Chris, get in the car. - Hey, kids! Get out of my car! Oh, God. Oh, no! Come on, Sara. Lock the doors. (SCREAMING) That's my car. Get out of there. Get out of my car. (ENGINE STARTING) Oh, thanks, mister. You saved our lives. - Chris? - Yeah? Um... He's a car thief. This is a stolen car. - No. - Yeah. - The chick is losing it. - I am not. You guys want some candy? Brad, no chocolate. Your acne. Sara, it is time for your cough syrup. Daryl, fasten the seatbelt. - She's definitely losing it. - I am not losing anything. I am still in control here. Got it? Sir, would you please take us to the next corner and drop us off? (MAN LAUGHING) MAN: In this neighborhood? I wouldn't even get out the car in this neighborhood. - BRAD: Could you drop us off at a mall? - A mall? Where do y'all think we are, Boise, Idaho? Man, look. I'll tell you what. Come with me. I got a little business to take care of, all right? And then I can drop you off at a train station or something, but hey, I ain't driving to no mall. No way. Do you promise me you won't hurt these kids? Yeah, I promise you. (SINGING) If you're a long way from home Can't sleep at night Grab your telephone 'Cause somethingjust ain't right There's evil Evil going on Well, I'm warning you, girls You'd better watch your happy home Where are we going? To hell. Kind of exciting, don't you think? Can't sleep at all 'Cause there's another mule Kickin' in your stall 'Cause there's evil (MEN SHOUTING) Evil's going on Well, I'm warning you, girls You'd better watch your happy home (MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY) - Did you steal all of these cars? - Yeah. It gets me some good money. - Isn't it kind of dangerous? - Hey, I like danger, all right? You should try babysitting. - Sir... - Wait, wait, wait. - My name is Joe Gipp, okay? - Mr. Gipp... No, just Joe. Just Joe, all right? We have to get our car to Dawson's Garage. - Do you think you could... - Relax. Everything'll be okay. (BELL RINGING) All right, it's quitting time at Tara. Good job. Got any defects? Yeah. A few. Hi. How you doing? I'm Brad Anderson. Nice to meet you. This is my sister Sara. This is Chris Parker and that's my best friend, Daryl Coopersmith. How you doing? Nice to meet you, really. It's great. - Great shirt. - What are you doing? Hi! Nice to meet you. It's a nice place you got here. - Really. I love it. - Thanks. Yeah, it's... It's great. Look. We sort of took a wrong turn somewhere, and if you don't mind, we'd like to get out. SARA: Mmm-hmm. JOE: Damn. Hey, don't hold it in, Graydon. - Go and get pissed, man. - You boosted a Caddie full of kids? They got in the car while I was still in there, man. Was I supposed to put them out on the street? They would have been killed. They know where our operation is. They could go to the cops. Sir. No, we wouldn't go to the cops. How am I supposed to know that? Uh... We can put it in writing. We'd all sign it. - We can take it to a notary... - Shut up. Take the Brady Bunch upstairs. We'll take care of them after the meeting. All right, you guys go on home. Clear out of here! (MEN CHATTERING) Don't worry. We'll get home. This has alI just been a big mistake. - But what about Brenda? - That was her parents' mistake. (SINGING ON TV) Here's the story Of a lovely lady Who was bringing up three very lovely girls All of them had hair of gold like their mother The youngest one in curls Here's the story of a man named Brady They were four men living all together But they were all alone Till the one day when the lady met this fellow And they knew that it was much more than a hunch I can't see! Chris, please hurry and pick me up! It's dead. - Kind of like us. - What? BRAD: We're really in trouble. We're going to die here. No, we're not. Oh, no. No, we are not climbing up there. It is much too dangerous. Look at that. You could poke your eyes out. Yeah, well, they might poke our brains out. Dallas gets the Ferraris, there's one Lamborghini to Phoenix, and Cleveland needs four Porsches. - Forget that. - But they got an order. I said forget it. I didn't like the way they've been running things. Cleveland is dead. We can go to that window. - You got to be shitting me. - Watch your mouth. Watch my mouth? You got to be shitting me. (SHUSHES) - What if I fall? - I won't let you fall. - Thanks, Sara. - Just be careful. (MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY) I don't think your parents will ever ask me to babysit again. If they do, I'd ask them for a buck more an hour. Well, multiple murder, or did Sara just cut off her finger? - I got the answering machine. - They went for ice cream. - They're okay. Chris can handle it. - Sure! Sara's probably hanging from the rafters by now. Don't look down. (GASPING) You idiot! (SHUSHES) MAN 1: Boston, two Mercedes. MAN 2: What about the Philadelphia order? (MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY) Where's the magazine? GRAYDON: The Playboy? I took the Playboy upstairs. - There was this article... - Get it. Let's go. Come on. Hurry up. Sara, hold on. MAN 1: One BMW. Indianapolis... - Where is it? - It's not up there. - I think the kids got it. - So get it back from them. They're not up there either. They got away. - Where did you get this? - From the office. SARA: Come on! BRAD: You're going to get us into so much trouble. - MAN: Hey, you kids get back here! - Run! Get the car. Oh, come on. They're kids. What are you going to do, run them down and kill them? Get the car. Got to get that magazine back. It has my notes for the Philadelphia order. GRAYDON: That could put us away for 20 years. Faster. - Oh, no! - MAN: Hey! You kids get back here. - Come on! - CHRIS: In here. (PLAYING BLUES MUSIC) Sir, we didn't mean to interrupt your little concert here. We'll just get off the stage... Nobody gets out of this place without singing the blues. What? Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues. You want me to sing? They want me to sing. Well, do whatever they want. Just get us out of here. I can't sing. Hi. My name's Chris Parker. (PLAYS BLUES RIFF) I live in Oak Park. That's a suburb. They probably figured that out. This is Brad, Sara, and Daryl, and we're in trouble. Ain't no doubt. See, me and my boyfriend Mike, tonight's our anniversary. But then he went and canceled, and now I'm stuck watching these three. And it's so hard. (SINGING) And it's so hard Babysitting these guys She's got the... I got this call from Brenda I went to pick her up The tire had a blowout and my mom's car got shot up - These guys started to chase us - And we all got hijacked - We're cruising down the highway - In this big old Cadillac And it's so hard - Yeah! - (CHEERING) It's so hard Babysitting these guys She got the Babysitting blues Baby, baby Babysitting blues I've got the Babysitting blues Yeah, all right! There are nights You swearyou were born to lose Like tonight And you wish your feet Were walking in someone else's shoes Some guys are out to get us - And Brenda's probably dead - We ain't got a nickel And they should be in bed And you out of luck Out of luck watching these guys I've got the Babysitting blues Baby, baby Babysitting blues Baby, baby Babysitting blues There are nights You swearyou were born to lose Like tonight And you wish your feet were walking in someone else's shoes Some guy's out to get her And the girl's probably dead - She ain't got a nickel - And we should be in bed Well, you out of luck Out of luck watching these guys I've got the Babysitting blues Baby, baby Babysitting blues Baby, baby Babysitting blues Yeah! Up high! Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues. (KIDS LAUGHING) DARYL: You were incredible. Amazing. - I didn't know you were so cool. - I did. You guys were pretty cool yourselves. Come on. We gotta get out of here. - Where are we going? - I don't know. Anywhere but here. - BRAD: Chris? - Yeah? - Can I tell you something? - Sure. BRAD: I didn't really know you until tonight. I mean... I knew you were pretty. - I mean, you are pretty. - Thanks. Is that your dad's building? Yeah. You're more than just that, though. - You're kind of smart, too. - I think we should turn ourselves in. Wait, listen to me. The point is, I... The point is, I... I don't know what the hell you're doing with Mike Todwell. Okay? What? I mean it. The guy is a total loser. Daryl knows it. I know it. It's none of your business. There's nothing personal, Chris. I... I just think you should give other guys a chance. Like who? - Well, like... - Don't say it. Don't say it. - Like me? - Oh, no, he said it. - (LAUGHING) - What's so funny? Well, it's just that you're a child. You're just a girl in love with an asshole. Brad, look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... Forget it. Forget it. Chris, look where Daryl is. I would really like to get to know you, if you have any time. I have tons of time. Daryl. What are you doing? I'm trying to get a date. - You're cramping my style. - She's too old for you. - And you're not? - I'm his babysitter. How old are you? - I'm 17. - So am I. You're 17? - What are you doing on the streets? - I ran away from home. - Brenda! Come on. - DARYL: Bye. Chris, why aren't you here? Oh. Oh! It's a kitten. Here, kitty, kitty. Here, kitty, kitty. Hello. Hello. Aw. What's the matter? You got lost? - You ran away from home. - Drop it. - What? - Put the animal down. - Why? - We're going to kill it. What? You monsters! Why would you kill a poor defenseless kitten? - Kitten? - (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) - This ain't no kitten. - That's a jumbo-sized sewer rat. (SQUEAKS) (SCREAMING) Brad, you wouldn't believe what that girl would do for 20 bucks. Daryl, I don't care. - It's them! - CHRIS: Run! Come on, guys, run! (MEN RAPPING) Take Sara. Who's paying for those kids? Somebody better pay for those kids - or I'm calling the cops. - Deal with it. I want you to tell me all about those kids. Where you found them, where they came from. Well, how am I supposed to... - I don't know anything, you know? - You know something. Yeah, you do, don't you? They... They got to get their car. We'll get to it first. What do those guys want? Maybe they want to give us a ride home. You think? Sara, honey, I think you should lay down and get some sleep. I'm not tired. - Well, pretend you're tired. - Then can I pretend to sleep? Yeah, whatever. Jesus! (DOOR OPENING) - Cool threads. - We'll get off at the next stop. Now don't you even think about getting off this train, mocoso. Only people getting off this here train going to be doing it in body bags. How you sound? This is our train. GANG MEMBER: Well, your train is rolling in our turf. - So what? - So as soon as we cross Devereaux Street, you and your girls is dead meat. We're gonna run now! - They're going to kill each other. - And kill us doing it. There goes Jefferson. There goes Jackson. Here comes Devereaux. Excuse me. I couldn't help but notice that you're about to start killing each other. I was wondering if you could please wait until we get off the train? Sit down, bitch. Bitch, sit down. Are you going to let them get away with that? - BRAD: Wait a minute. - I was kidding. That was really rude. Take it back, apologize. - Stay out of this. - He called you a bitch. - Brad, shut up! - Hey, listen to the bitch, Brad. Watch your mouth, you... You big-city scum-sucker. GANG MEMBERS: Ooh! You just can't keep your foot out of your mouth, can you, boy? Let me help. Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell. Don't fuck with the babysitter. All right, baby, chill out. Shit. GANG MEMBER: Girl's crazy. (BRAD MOANING) - Are you okay? - I can't feel anything. Don't touch it! It could get infected. You could get anything. Tetanus, lockjaw, rabies, scabies, emphysema. Well, then don't let him walk on it. Pick him up. Oh! Ow! - What are we going to do with him? - Guys, can't you read? Take him to the hospital. I can't feel a thing. Look out for the car. Ow, ow! Get the doors open, quickly. BRAD: Get out of the way! We need help. - Doctor! - DARYL: Can we have a doctor? - Somebody! - Please? - Can I help you? - We need a doctor. - My friend was wounded in a gang fight. - Calm down. I'll tell you what to do. Wait. That's them. Those are the kids who stole my car. What are you bothering me for? It's them you want. Brenda, if you're dead, I wish I was with you. - Those are hot dogs, right? - Yeah. Want one? Yeah, I'd love one. That'll be two bucks. - A check? - But it's a good check. Chris's mom wrote it to Chris 'cause Chris bought her something, then I bought Chris some press-on nails and she wrote it over to me. So I'll write the check over to you and take the hot dog. - You got a pen? - Get out of here. Wait. I'm starving. You'd rather throw it away than give it to me? - I work on a cash-only basis. - But it's a perfectly good check. No! I'll make it very clear. You slip me the cash - and I'll slip you the wiener. - But I don't have any cash. Then I don't have a wiener! There you are. One stitch. All better. - One stitch? - Yes, one stitch. My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is going to think I'm a total failure. Dr. Nuhkbane, the guy with the stab wounds just died. Oh, dear. Oh, Doctor. We're looking for a friend. - Your friend? Which one is he? - He's the one with the stab wound. - Oh, dear. - What? - I am sorry. Your friend is dead. - Dead? - Dead? - Dead? SARA: Chris! BRAD: Sara, what happened? Brad! Daryl, why are you hugging me? Brad, don't you ever die on me. Ever. Okay. I won't. What's going on? What happened? Oh, dear, you're her friend. She's fainted. (GASPS) I had the worst nightmare. We were stuck in this... - It's really happening. - Some night, huh? It's all right. I made a mistake, see? He's fine. DR. NUHKBANE: Now, you children, you stay right here. I'll send the nurse back with the paperwork. Come on with me. Paperwork. She's going to want to know my name and stuff. - I'm going to call my mom. - No, no mothers. They'll kill us. No way. No. Hey, you kids! Where's my car, God damn it? - Mr. Pruitt! - Babysitter! You want your car? - Come on. It's fixed. Let's go. - Hey, wait a minute there. - What are you doing here? - I got a little banged up. - Where's our car? - At Dawson's Garage. - Is her car okay? - Yeah. I paid for the window. That's my fault. But Dawson's going to make you pay for the tire. - How much? - Fifty bucks. - Fifty bucks? - Yeah, 50 bucks. - Here we go. - Where are you going? - I'm a fugitive now, okay? - Kind of like us. - Good luck, babysitter. - You too, Mr. Pruitt! COP: Hey, Pruitt, stop! Hold it right there! - Where are we going to get 50 bucks? - Maybe we could sell Daryl. You think? We will think of something. Come on. - SARA: Chris, I got to make. - You got to what? I got to go to the bathroom. I've really got to go. - Just try and hold it, honey, okay? - Sounds like a party. Looks like a party... It is a party! - Daryl, get back here. - Sorry, can't talk. Got to run. Why do I have this feeling we're never going to see him again? Come on, Sara, you can go to the bathroom in there. Good. (SINGING) I've been trying to get to you for a long time Because constantly you been on my mind I was thinking about a shortcut I could take But it seems like I made a mistake Now I was wrong I took too long I really have to go to the bathroom. - I have to go really bad. - In a minute. The expressway to your heart, babe The expressway is not the best way I don't believe it. FRAT BOY 1: Who is it? Some high-IQ kids? FRAT BOY 2: No, stupid, it's Miss March. - There's Daryl. - No way! - It is Miss March. - What? - This is amazing. - Could you sign this? Right here. - I can't believe it. - Can't believe what? - This is not me. - It sure is you. It is not. - What's your name? - It's not Shaylene. - She's not Shaylene. - Wait a minute. Guys, come on. Think about this. Do you honestly believe a Playboy centerfold would have nothing better to do on a night like this than to show up at a Kappa party with a bunch of kids? - Yeah. - Maybe. Where's your brain? Told you it wasn't her, stupid. Sorry. - Thanks. - You're welcome. I've really got to go, Chris. Uh. - Where's your bathroom? - It's right that way. I'll... I'll take Sara to the bathroom. One! Two! Three! (ALL ROARING) (BICYCLE BELL RINGING) - Hey, guys. - I must be hallucinating. Does anybody else see a talking penis? Hey, speaking of penises, do you know how the Playboy Unabashed Dictionary defines oral gratification? I do. DAN: I haven't seen you around campus much. You a freshman? - Sophomore. You can't be a junior. - I'm a senior. - In high school. - In high school? - Yeah. - I can't believe it. What? The prettiest girl at the University of Chicago is in high school. - Oh, that was good. - No, I mean it. Yeah? - Want to dance? - I don't have time. - She'll be in line for a while. - Okay. - I'm Dan. Dan Lynch. - I'm going to slow it down now and do a song I wrote for the woman I love. Do it, Bobby. (SINGING) I go through each day Hoping for something Some little sign - So, you're babysitting these kids? - I don't think you can call it babysitting. If they end up as drug addicts and mass-murderers it's my fault. Look, don't worry about it. Everything's going to be okay. - I think you're doing a great job. - You do? Sure I do. I mean, you've gotten the kids this far. They're still alive. It could be a lot worse. It could be. I know how quickly time flies I see my future in your eyes Yes, I've felt the sorrow and I've heard the crying Believe me, I've tasted the tears But I never thought That in just one heartbeat It's always the same. All he cares about are the Bears, the Bengals, the Dolphins. What about the love? The romance? And the sex? I care about those things. - Deeply. - I'm so lonely. How could a righteous babe like you be lonely? That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. - Really? - Want to go to bed? I see my future in your eyes - I really have to go. - No, no, no. Tell me how I can help. What do you need? Well... Actually, I... - I need $50. - No problem. Really? All I got is a 20. - Oh, no, that's fine. - No, wait right here. I'll be right back. - He is getting us $50. - That's terrific. - Hi. We're going to get the money. - Really? Isn't that great, Brad? I could only get 45. Oh, no, that's great. Thank you so much. Luann. What the hell are you doing? You've been replaced, you big dumb bohunk. - Oh, you're dead, kid. - I didn't touch her. I'm a child. Lay off, he's just a kid, you big dumb bohunk. I'm driving. - DARYL: This is really weird. - You're weird. - The car is fixed. - That's great. That's wonderful. - Thank you. Really. - No problem. Why don't you go pay for the car, and I'll wait out here and see that you get out okay? No, that's okay. We'll be fine. - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure. Okay. Take care of yourself. - See you, guys. - Bye. Wait. How am I going to find you to pay you back? Don't worry about it. Maybe I'll see you again. Come on, Brad. Seems pretty cool, right? CHRIS: Mr. Dawson? BRAD: Hello? SARA: Mr. Dawson? CHRIS: Is anybody here? SARA: Hello? Hello? Mr. Dawson? BRAD: Mr. Dawson? (STEAM HISSING) Thor! Sara... O Thor, mighty God of Thunder. Who is this kid? CHRIS: You must be Mr. Dawson, right? - Secret identity. - What do you want? Mr. Pruitt sent us. This is our car. You owe me 50 bucks. Have you been fighting the forces of darkness? - What is she talking about? - She thinks you're somebody else. It's him, Brad. It's really him. Look, it's Thor! - Come on, let's go. - Don't listen to him anyway. He said you were a homo. You spreading rumors about me, kid? Oh, no. No, sir. Thank you. Come on, Sara. What's this? There's $45 here. You owe me 50. - I know. That's all that we have. - Then you don't have a car. You don't understand. We have had an unbelievable night... Save it! You owe me money. Now, you give me five bucks, or you get out. I thought you always helped people in trouble. Hey, kid, this is the city. I help nobody but myself. - But I thought... - Get lost! Wait! I know why you're not acting like yourself. You don't have your special helmet. See, you're wearing the baseball hat. You're supposed to be wearing this. Take mine. Go on, take it. You're giving this to me? Well, yeah. You're my hero. Here. Here, take the car. Thanks, Thor. You're welcome. Hey, kid. I got one of these at home. Could I get your address so I could send you a check? - Go! - BRAD: Come on, Chris. Get in the car. Thanks! - CHRIS: Daryl, what time is it? - 11:41. CHRIS: Okay, we can get Brenda and we can be home by 1:00. SARA: Man, am I up late! Good work, Joe Gipp. Follow them. (SNORING) Stop! Thief! (GASPING) (LAUGHING) Get out of my house! Wow, look at that toy store! Chris, look at the toy store! Look at all those toys! CHRIS: I can see it. Oh, great. What are we looking at? Mike was supposed to take me there tonight. Oh! (LAUGHING) - What? - Looks like he went without you. Check it out. What's wrong? Everything. (CLEARS THROAT) - May I help you? - We're just looking for somebody. - Let's just go in and get them. - Patience. He's with Sesame Plexor. She's such a sleaze. He dumps you for an easy chick and you get a night of hell. Doesn't seem fair to me. Stay here and watch Sara. I will be right back. I got to see this. You know, Ses, girls like you come along once in a lifetime. Or twice in the same night. Oh, wow. How's your sister? Is she all better? Well, uh... - You lied. - No, I didn't. Don't lie! - Get a grip. Jesus! - A grip? Do you have any idea what I've been through tonight? I thought that... I thought that... That you loved me. Or is it all just bullshit, huh? Look, little girl, I don't know what you thought we had, but it wasn't half as serious as you like to think it was. All right. You let go of her. Picking them kind of young, aren't you? This kid's got more class at 15 than you'll ever have. - You're such a loser. - Here we go again. I could only dream of having somebody like Chris for a girlfriend. But you've got her. - And you treat her like this? - Don't waste your time, half-pint. Her legs are locked together at the knee. I'd love to hit you. - I'd love to pound on your face. - Yeah? Go ahead. But I won't. You're so slimy, I won't sink to your level. I will. Oh, that's just great. See you around, Mike. Did you see that? That was great. - We were amazing! - BRAD: We were, weren't we? - It was so cool. - DARYL: I was so cool. - Can you believe it? - Where is Sara? (TOY SQUEAKING) BLEAK: Hey, kid. Come here for a second. Get her. Mom. Dad. (TIRES SCREECHING) Sara! I thought she'd be here. Let go! Hey, kid. Hey, hold it, man. Damn. Sara! - Guys, look. - What? It's my dad's building. My mom and dad are there. She's probably there. Come on! Mom? Dad? I'll take this floor and you take the one above. (PEOPLE CHATTERING) GRAYDON: Hey, kid. Come on out. I just need to get something from you. I'm not going to hurt you. Hey, come on, kid. Sara! Sara? Sara! Sara's in trouble. Stop. Don't go out there. Get back here. Hey, kid, wait! Jesus Christ. Hey! Come on back up here. Come on! - BRAD: Which floor? - We'll try this one first. (GASPING) (SCREAMS) BRAD: Oh, God. We're at my parents' party. Now, kid, stay right where you are. Don't move. - My parents. - What are we going to do? - I'm going out there to find Sara. - You can't. They'll see you. No, they won't. Stay right here. I'll be right back. Be right back with the coats, honey. (HUMMING) MRS. ANDERSON: I don't believe it. Len Lescher. Loyola Law? Class of '68? - Sorry, wrong guy. - Honey, we should be going. LEN: Nice meeting you. MR. ANDERSON: It's getting kind of late. - Looking for something? - MR. ANDERSON: Come on, let's go. Oh, come on, honey. Just one more. - My diet doesn't start till next week. - Well, we told Chris 1:00. MRS. ANDERSON: These are so good. Excuse me. - You tried one of these? - What? MRS. ANDERSON: They are so delicious. I've got to get this recipe. Do you happen to know the name of the caterer? Caterer? We didn't mean to spring it on you like this. Hello? You'll excuse me. - Oh, my God. Is he okay? - Did you hurt yourself? MRS. ANDERSON: Did he hit his head? Brad! Daryl! - Where's Sara? - She's out the window. MR. ANDERSON: Take it easy. No rush. - What? - She must have gone upstairs and out the window. She's out there now. Mom? Dad? Goddamn! Sara, just hold on, okay? Don't be scared. Daryl, Brad, loosen the rope. Come on, hurry. Let me give you a hand. Sara, grab the rope. Easy, easy. That's the most exciting thing that's happened all night. Just take it really slow. Don't be scared of him, Sara. Okay, that's good. Don't look down. Okay, that's good. Keep walking, that's right. Just walk right by him. Hold on. You're almost here. Hold on, Sara. Just walk right up it. You're almost there. Hang on. Okay, real close. Don't worry. Grab on. Brad... Sara! - Are you okay? - Yeah. Can we go home now? JOE: Not yet. Look, I'm not going to hurt you, all right? I just need the Playboy. See, this is what they were after. Some notes and stuff. You know, that they need. I guess they're pretty important to them. Don't say it. - Wow! - It's pretty uncanny, huh? She don't even compare to you. Well, what about him? - Who? - Come here. - Help! - Uh, yeah. Leave him hanging out there for a while. Let him sweat it out. Come on. Give me the magazine and get out of here. I'll take care of the children. You're right. Babysitting is dangerous. Come on. (SINGING) Twenty-five miles from home, girl My feet are hurting mighty bad Now I've been walking for three days and two lonely nights You know that I'm mighty mad But I got a woman waiting for me That's gonna make this trip worthwhile You see, she's got the kind of loving and kissing To make a man go stone wild BRENDA: What took you guys so long? You'll never believe what I've been through tonight. I lost my skate. It's not here. Maybe you left it someplace. - We must go back and find it. - No, Sara, honey, we can't. - Brad? - What? Sara, that's not your parents' car, is it? - Yes, it is. - What are we going to do? Everybody, duck. Oh, my God, look at that lunatic. Brad and Sara will be driving soon. On the road with people like that. - How fast do your parents drive? - I don't know. About 45. We'll go 80. Brad, Sara, Daryl, upstairs now. Into your pajamas. - I don't have any pajamas here. - I don't care. Just go upstairs. - Brenda, go home. - But I don't want to go home. You have to. I'm sorry. I'll call you tomorrow. (SINGING) Come on, feet, don't fail me now I got 10 more miles to go I got nine, eight, seven Six, eight, six I got five more miles to go now Over the hill, just around the bend Although my feet are tired I can't lose my stride I got to get to my baby again I got to keep on walking I got to walk on (INDISTINCT) (DOOR CLOSING) - Hiya, Chris. Sorry we're late. - Oh, that's okay. Any problems? No, not really. Well, Brad stayed home and Daryl's sleeping over. Daryl? What a nightmare for you. - His head's been torn off. - Gross! - What happened? - Everything is cool. (ALL SIGH WITH RELIEF) Chris, can we do this again next Friday? Sara, I think I'm retired. You've got to sit for me again. - We'll see, okay? - Okay. I know that seniors don't normally hang out with freshmen, so if I see you around school, and I say hi and you ignore me as usual, it's okay. I don't ignore friends, Brad. DARYL: Chris, I'd just like to say thanks for giving me what was probably the greatest night of my life. So far. Me, too. - Thanks a lot. - You're welcome. - Bye-bye. Drive safely. - I will, thanks. Okay, goodbye. (SINGING) That ain't all, that ain't all I'll do foryou Oh, if you bring it to me Bring your sweet lovin' - Hi. - Hi. How did you know I... I thought the little girl might be missing this. She left it in the back seat. You came all the way out here just to return this? Well, actually, I was... Oh, you came for the money. No, no, no, no. I'm looking for a babysitter. (LAUGHING) Really? Well, I think tonight was my last job. Oh. That's too bad. Who was the babysitter for? Me. Maybe retirement can wait. Kiss him! (LAUGHING) (SINGING) Well, he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance He looked kind of nice And so I said I might take a chance When he danced he held me tight And when he walked me home that night All the stars were shining bright And then he kissed me Sometimes you know what you're looking for Sometimes you don't make it out the door This time I know what I'm doing Gonna get you, that's the truth I'm not fooling 'Cause I just can't stop Trying to get a hold on you I just can't stop I won't give up till my dream comes true I just can't stop And I don't know what to do I just can't stop Trying to get a hold on you The night was long and the roads were rough Was a time or two when I had enough Yeah Now that I've found you I'll hold on tight Never gonna let you out of my sight I just can't stop Trying to get a hold on you, baby I just can't stop I won't give up till my dream comes true I just can't stop And I don't know what to do I just can't stop Trying to get a hold on you Stop the night Before I fall apart Just can't stop the night Stop the night But don't let it stop my heart This time I know what I'm doing Gonna get you, that's the truth I'm not fooling 'Cause I just can't stop, no, baby Trying to get a hold on you I just can't stop I won't give up till my dream comes true I just can't stop, no, baby I just can't stop Trying to hold on to you, baby I just can't stop I just can't stop, no, baby I just can't stop Trying to hold on to you, baby I just can't stop I keep on holding on now, yeah I just can't stop I just can't stop this time, baby I just can't stop I wanna keep on holding on now, girl I just can't stop No, baby I just can't stop I just can't stop Just keep on holding on (SONG FADES OUT) (SOBBING)