Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

Its the Christmas season, a time for telling colourful holiday stories. My favourite story of all time is about my grandma. She had this encounter with a reindeer. Grandma got run over by a reindeer walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say theres no such thing as Santa, but as for me and grandpa, we believe. Grandma got run over by a reindeer, all right? And as incredible as it was, it almost put an end to Christmas. But Im getting ahead of myself. So lets go back to the beginning. It was December and everyone in Cityville was caught up in the chaos of the holidays. And no place was busier than my grandmas store. My grandmas store! There it is. Check it out. It was a one-of-a-kind place. She carried all kinds of stuff year around. She sold decorations, handmade toys at least one of anything you could imagine for the holidays. Theres grandma. Did I mention she likes to dress up to read Christmas stories to kids while their parents shop? And the little baby Christmas tree looked up at papa tree Grandma! And thats me, Jake Spankenheimer. Cousin Mel is scaring away another customer! You can stop right there. Thats shoplifting, missy. Now, what seems to be the problem? Problem? No problem. No money, no merchandise. No way! Your credit is always good here, Martha. Why, you just stop by when you get your next paycheck. Thanks, grandma. Everyone have a merry Christmas! You, too. Things have to change. This store cant get rich selling holiday pastries on credit. Youre not a businesswoman. Youre an old fruitcake. Everyone else is happy the way things are. Right, Frank? Beats punching a time clock for someone else. I like spending time with the family at work. You see, look around you. We are rich. Lifes about being nice to people. Money ah! Id say we make enough. Enough? Enough is never enough! A set of replacement wheels for my rollerblades Adding to your Christmas wish list? Sisters! Ah, yeah, I thought so. A computer nerd who still believes in Santa Claus. Youre so reality challenged. Daphne, stop teasing your brother! He started it! Come on downstairs. Your dad has a surprise. Tell her, mom. Santa Claus is real. Well, theres no easy answer. Historically, there was a saint Nick who with a loving heart filled childrens shoes with gifts of all sorts. So, Santa today represents the true meaning of Christmas giving to others. Dad, is Santa Claus real? What your mother said. Hey, who wants to put up a tree? Oh, right, Christmas tree! Thats not a Christmas tree. Youre looking at the new inflatable Christmas tree manufactured by the Cityville Own-all Corporation. But our family always goes out and gets a real tree. Dont you want to save the forest? Nobody gets a tree anymore. Its not cool. Wish they had Christmas trees like that when I was a boy. Here we go again. We had to chop our trees down by hand. Never forget the time I had to use a beaver for a chain saw. Last time you told it, it was a woodpecker. Okay, everyone, gather round your dad. I want a video of our first inflatable tree. This tree is going to save lots of time. Whats the fun in that? Wheres the jabbing yourself with pine needles, hanging ornaments, the old-fashioned smell of a genuine douglas fir? If you like old-fashioned smells Ill get my fishing boots. Oops Sorry. As crazy as things were at home, they got crazier the day I met the most powerful man in Cityville. Excuse me. Im Austin Bucks! CEO of the Cityville Own-all Corporation. Grandma says you own everything. Well, not yet, but thats why I want to speak to your grandma. Im sure she wants to see you. But right now, grandma Elfen-heimer is reading to the kids. I heard about that. Say, you wouldnt happen to have an extra elf costume I could wear? Nope, sorry. But theres a troll costume. Well, grandma Elfenheimer. Mr. Austin Troll Bucks. I dont suppose youre dressed that way to read Billy Goats Gruff to the kids. No. I did it so youd listen to my offer to buy your store. Didnt help. Dont want to listen. Ill pay a lot of money. Ka-ching! Youd be selling to the biggest and the best. Do you know why my company controls every mall and sidewalk, Santa? Because people are too busy to think about Christmas. With their cellular phones and fax machines, e-mail theyre never really away from work. And you figure youre helping. Yes. There wouldnt be a Cityville Christmas without me. Your store sits on the perfect place to build the crown jewel of my empire. Picture it: Gifts delivered on Christmas Eve by our new sleighmobile. Isnt that what Santa does? How cute. He still believes in Santa Claus. Jake, do you think I should sell the store? Are you kidding? I love this place. You with no store would be like Christmas without Santa. Well, there you have it from the mouths of babes. Surely youre not going to let Jake make such a big decision. Hes just a kid. In case you change your mind. Thank you. And you can keep the troll costume. Bye-bye. Ive always loved a man in tights. Grandma, do you realize what you just did? You let my fortune walk out the door! That was my future! I mean Jakes future Money for college, travel to Italy, world cruises, sports cars, jewels Id tell you to put a cork in it, you greedy money-grubber! But grandmas shouldnt talk that way. Grandma, if this store were mine, Id sell it. Cousin Mel, this store will never be yours. Oh, yeah! Well see. Cousin Mel was wrong. You can keep a store going on goodwill and baked goods. By the looks of my house at Christmas time youd think grandma was single-handedly supplying the entire free world with Christmas goodies. The way I see it, you can divide the world into two groups: People who like fruitcake, and all the rest of us. The holidays were upon us and things were going fine till the day I heard the doorbell and a chill ran up my spine. I grabbed the wife and children as the postman wheeled it in. My yearly Christmas nightmare has just come back again: It was harder than the head of uncle Bucky, heavy as a sermon of preacher Lucky, ones enough to give the whole state of Kentucky a great big bellyache. It was denser than a drove of barnyard turkeys, tougher than a truckload of all-beef jerky drier than a drought in Albuquerque grandmas killer fruitcake. Youre a great helper, Jake. Now, just stir that bowl of ingredients and its ready for the oven. Grandma, Jake, Im afraid Doofus got out again. I cant find him anywhere. Why, I wonder where that adorable dog could have run off to this time. Come on, Jake. Hah! I dont know who buys your cakes and cookies but this will for darn sure make everyone sick. That ought to stop people from shopping at the store and with no customers youll have to sell, grandma! Doofus was right next to the fireplace. Must have missed him. What were you saying? Id have to sell? Oh, sell a lot, the way these pastries taste. Careful, grandma. Dont drink too much eggnog without your medication. Youd think at my age youd outgrow an allergy to eggs. Now, whered I put those pills? Ive got some mistletoe and holly. Whos going to help me with the decorating? Cant. Have to call my boyfriend. Sorry, grandma, got to dash to the gym. Uh, Id love to, but Frank The games just starting on TV. Ill help you, grandma. My little man. Thanks. Nobody understood me like grandma did. Christmas time was as important to her as it was to me. Well, we did it. Thats right on the nose, Jake. We did it. The sooner you go to sleep, he sooner Santa will come. Grandma, Daphne says heres no such thing as Santa. Well, thats because she doesnt believe like I do. Have you ever seen him? No, but Ive seen him in the smiles of people who share with others every Christmas. If you ever run into him, say hi for me. Good night, Jake. Grandma got run over by a reindeer walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say theres no such thing as Santa, but as for me and grandpa, we believe. Well, Im fixing to take these extra cookies and cakes to the volunteers at the Cityville community services building. Its too late to go out now, grandma. If Id had some help I would have been finished hours ago. I was busy. Sorry, had to finish my homework. Last-minute shopping. Youve been drinking too much eggnog. Please, dont go! Were begging! Besides, I left my medication at the store. On, Donner! On, Blitzen! Its him! Santa Claus! He is real! Grandma, watch out! Come on, everyone! Hurry! Grandma got run over by Santas reindeer! Jake, close the door and get in here. Santa hit grandma! Grandma needs help! The only person who needs help in this family is you. Now, Jake, calm down. Take a breath. Okay, Santa Claus was flying low like this. And grandma was walking like this and is here, and Now, honey, you must have had a bad dream. In case you havent noticed, Frank, your son suffers from a dreaded affliction. What affliction? The Santa Claus is real syndrome. Hes got all the symptoms: Writing lists to Santa, checking them twice, good behavior, falling asleep before midnight. I figure he gets it from his grandma. You saw what happened, didnt you, grandpa? Im sorry. Were you talking to me? I was too busy watching grandma get run over by a reindeer-drawn sleigh. Yes! What a sight! Sleigh come out of nowhere. Grandma takes a header into the snowbank. Sleigh vanishes like the ghost of Christmas past! And thats whats called an advanced case of Santa Claus is real syndrome. Oh, honestly, grandpa. Weve got to go help grandma! Nothing is out there. Frank, do something. Look, Jake, if I call the local shelter and have grandma speak to you will you go to bed? But she wont! I saw her! I told you Santa hit her with his sleigh! Call the police! Thats right, officer. Missing. Hit by Santas sleigh. Yes, weve been drinking eggnog. Theyll be out first thing in the morning. And what did you see, young man? I saw grandma get run over by a reindeer. Here we go again. Sorry, son, impossible. Right here in the manual. Theres no such thing as Santa Claus. Is, too. We got a code 12-25: Santa Claus is real syndrome family dispute. Come on! Ill show you where she got run over. When we found her Christmas morning at the scene of the attack See? she had hoofprints on her forehead and incriminating Claus marks on her back. Okay, weve got some reindeer hoofprints and sleigh tread marks leading to a Oh, yeah! What appears to be an impression of a person in the snow, look there. But, uh How do we know its grandma? Doofus knows! Thats one of grandmas shoes. Thats her special Christmas mug. Her medicine. And her cookies and her fruitcake! Officer Lyon, check this out. Ooh, what do you make of this? Offhand, Id say thats animal hair. Reindeer, 15-hands high, 12-point buck. By the markings, a sleigh-puller. Powerful, capable of flight, age unknown, one of a But its just a guess. Okay, then. Ill just put it down as sleighicular hit-and-run. Whats the code for that? You should remember that one. Its a 12-24. Oh, right, 12-24. I get it. Just a minute, Sherlock. Before you put out an APB for a sleigh driven by Santa Claus who, may I remind you, does not exist Id like to know where grandma is. Good point. We can work the Santa angle later. Better get looking for the old broad. Well need a photo of the missing person. That started the biggest grandma hunt in Cityville history. The police searched every nook and cranny for granny. Time passed, and police kept looking and looking. Months went by. We looked and looked. I even got permission to put grandmas picture on milk cartons. Nothing helped, not even stories on the local news channel. Grandma was nowhere to be found. Grandmas Christmas gifts remained unopened and people dressed in black. Grandpa tried to cope by playing cards with cousin Mel. It wasnt any better at the store, either. Mom and dad tried their best. But without grandma, customers stopped coming in. My office said you called and wanted to see me. I wanted to apologize for the way grandma treated you last year. Did anyone ever tell youre very good looking for a man with deep pockets? I was dusting. Well, go dust somewhere else! You cant tell me what to do. Its grandmas store. That reminds me, are you still interested in buying this establishment? Well, its the ideal location for our sleighmobile division. Good, because I know grandma would want me to sell it. I have the deed right here. Unfortunately, your names not on the deed, just grandma and grandpas. But if grandpa agrees, then I could buy the store. Im sure I can trick I mean, get grandpa to agree. Youve been so depressed since grandma disappeared. Thats why I had you bring me to my favorite restaurant to cheer you up. Ill cure your sorrow. Well spruce up the store, order new merchandise, hire a baker. Its right here in these papers. All you have to do is sign. Sing? No, sign. Sure. So, sign. Id rather sing. Grandmas spending Christmas with the superstars since that reindeer ran her down that fateful night. Grandmas hanging out with all those late, great stars for the heavenliest Christmas of her life. Shes standing under the mistletoe with Elvis. Hes been consoling her because shes missing gramps. Then Elvis offers her the keys to a new Cadillac, well, well, and a couple of sheets of Elvis postage stamps. Grandmas spending Christmas with the superstars since that reindeer ran her down that fateful night. Grandmas hanging out with all those late, great stars for the heavenliest Christmas of her life. Okay, Ill sign. Oh, this is easier than I thought. Sign here and here. Initial this. Oh, and this one gives me power of attorney over your affairs. Ill be your dedicated money manager forever. I do feel better. Perfect! This is it. The last of grandmas fruitcakes from last Christmas. Oh, do you think its still good? Did she use preservatives? Preservatives? Its a fruitcake. What do we do when its sold? Nothing! Because were going to be rich! We won the lottery! Were going to be rich? Were going to be rich! We could retire? Whats going on? Our boats come in. Cousin Mel says we won the lottery! Won the lottery? All right! Sort of. Actually, Im going over to see Austin Bucks and sell this dump for millions. Thank grandpa. He gave me power of attorney. Do what? Grandpa! How could you do that? I thought I was helping. Talk about having your cake and eating it, too. Ive got to stop her. Mr. Bucks office which way? Jake! Nice stop. Please, please dont buy grandmas store. Too late, kid. With this last piece of property Mr. Bucks will own all of Cityville. Who are you? Cousin Mels attorney, I. M. Slime. You said it, not me. Sorry, Jake. The only person who can stop this sale is your grandma but no one knows what happened to her. She got run over by Santas reindeer. I just need more time to find grandma. Now, Austin, darling, why dont we go somewhere romantic and consummate this deal? You got it, kid. This deal doesnt close till the end of the week. No! Youre an attorney. Do something! Sue somebody! A bit of advice. If you really believe grandma was run over by Santas reindeer then find him. He should know where grandma is. Okay, I will! I have till the end of the week to stop cousin Mel from selling grandmas store. Look, Sherlock. Youve tried your best to find grandma. Your room is search central. You got no results from your do-it-yourself police sketch. Your dry erase board is full of dead-end clues. Give it up. Youre right, Doofus, we cant give up. Whats this? Printout of my old Christmas list? Look, Doofus, its not as simple as adding find grandma to my Christmas list and e-mailing it to Santa Claus. Wait. Doofus, youre a genius! To Santa Claus @SantaClausIsReal.com. Quincy, you better see this. None. Not a single letter from Cityville. Its as if theyre too busy with their prefabricated, mass-produced lives to need me anymore. Excuse me. I might as well shave my beard and cancel the holidays in Cityville. If I could meet just one stinking person who understands the holidays are about human kindness with only a touch of conspicuous consumption. Yes, Quincy? Whats this? Careful, Royce. Donna wanted a doll with braids with a red ribbon. Shes on the good list. The mystery of grandma X is solved. Grandma Spankenheimer? Grandma Spankenheimer? Spankenheimer? No, never met her. But you might ask one of those short fellers. Classic case of amnesia. Cant remember a thing. The Christmas lights are on but nobodys home. E-mail a reply immediately! I have a better idea. Call off the hound! Hi, Im Quincy, Santas elf. Top elf, to be exact. I fly right seat on the sleigh. The man in the red suit doesnt make a move without consulting me first. Youre an elf. The genuine article. What are you doing here in September? I came to ask a question. Would you like to find your grandma? More than all the presents in the world. Then follow me. Grandpa, Im going to the North Pole to find grandma. Fine, thanks for telling me. Old St. Nick and Mrs. Claus decided just this year: there wont be any Christmas the feelings just not here. Some kids get more than they need and some are spoiled rotten. And when it comes to Christmas time too many are forgotten. It will feel like Christmas to people everywhere, it will feel like Christmas when we all learn to share. Santa said to Mrs. Claus Somethings way off track I cant get into Christmas until the spirits back. It will feel like Christmas to people everywhere, it will feel like Christmas when we all learn to share. You better have a good reason why you broke elf code and brought a human here. Thought youd like to meet Jake Spankenheimer. The Jake Spankenheimer who loves rollerblades, video games, pillow fights with his sister, procrastinates once in a while with his homework not that I condone it , writes to me every Christmas and helps his grandma in the kitchen? Its nice to finally meet someone from Cityville who still believes in me. Pretty cool. Which is why youre not sweeping up reindeer chips. Grandma, theres someone here who wants to see you. Grandma! Okay, Ill bite. Who is he? Its me, Jake. Dont you remember? No, nothin. Wait No. Thought I had somethin. Youve got to remember. Cousin Mels taking over. Whos cousin Mel? You know, big red hair, greedy, moneygrubbing, too much jewelry, beats grandpa at cards. She doesnt sound very nice. She isnt. If you dont come back right away shes going to sell your store to Mr. Bucks. Without it, our family and Christmas will never be the same. Thats terrible. Who are you again? Will you come back with me and stop the sale? Better than laying around here all day getting fat. Oh, yeah! Quincy, hook up the reindeer to the sleigh. Were headed to the city. Turn here. Were here! Better park in back. Cousin Mel wasnt about to give up easily. I remember what happened next. It was a warm, September day. That was a landin. I better sit here till my stomach catches up to the rest of me. Theres no time, grandma. Quincy, keep an eye on things. Right, boss. Its grandma! Shes supposed to be missing. Ah, this ruins everything. Mr. Bucks will call off the deal. There goes your fortune and my 50 percent. Ten percent. Thirty percent! Plus expenses. Done. Ive got an idea. You just make sure grandma stays missing. Hey! Hey! Come back! Grandma Spankenheimer? Yes, they sent me down to get you. Now, if youll just follow me? Sure, sweetie. Say, you wouldnt happen to have any antacid? Wait! Mr. Bucks, you cant buy the store from cousin Mel. Its not hers to sell. I found grandma. Shes waiting downstairs. Santa will explain everything. Sorry. Used to chimneys, not stairs. Fill them in while I get grandma. And, uh, you would be? Santa Claus. You know ho-ho-ho! Not to embarrass you, but Im afraid anybody can put on a big red suit, false beard and call themselves Santa Claus. They all work for me. Youre Austin Bucks! When you were six years old, you wanted a Lieutenant Neutron action figure. Lieutenant Neutron? He was the best! Hey, how did you know that? Im Santa. Its what I do. Amazing! Unbelievable. So what did happen to grandma? I was makin my usual rounds On, Donner! On, Dasher! Something made my reindeer go wha-ha! Wha-ha! Follow me, guys! I tried to stop them. But nothing worked. Then everything went black. Im terribly sorry. I dont know what got into those reindeer. Who are you? Oh, I better get you medical attention. Quincy! Leave a note explaining what happened. So, of course, she was welcome to stay at the North Pole until she felt better. Weve got great medical care every therapy and treatment imaginable at no ho-ho-ho! cost. Thanks for straightening out this whole mess, Santa. Im eager to see grandma and tell her the sale is off. Sure glad everything worked out okay. I Im sorry. I had to chase the reindeer. I was gone for a minute. She wandered off. Who? Grandma! We couldnt find her anywhere. Shes missing again. Since grandma is nowhere to be found and the man in the red suit here admitted he ran over her I demand that you have Santa arrested for the disappearance of grandma. No! The news that Santa had been arrested for the disappearance of grandma was a shock, especially to Mrs. Claus. Santas been arrested! I shouldnt say everyone was shocked because cousin Mel and her partner in crime Ms. Slime, sure werent. Here. Lucky a thing she still has a case of amnesia and doesnt know who you are. Lucky is right but we cant keep her locked up in here forever. Wont need to. We just need to keep her out of sight long enough for the jury to find Santa Claus guilty of her disappearance. And then we sue him for all that money. Think of it: Santas found guilty, we win the worlds most famous case of hit-and-run. Santa Claus must be worth a fortune, considering he supplies gifts to everyone in the world. Thats 2.5 billion times. What do you think he spends on average per person? $10, $15? Even if its just five your share, as grandpas financial advisor, is Grandpas gonna sue the pants off of Santa, thats what grandpas gonna do thats what grandpas gonna do. Grandpas gonna sue the pants off of Santa cause grandma wouldve wanted him to. Grandpas gonna sue the pants off of Santa, he knows the law is on his side. Grandpas gonna sue the pants off of Santa, Santas going for a ride. Grandpas gonna sue the pants off of Santa, thats what grandpas gonna do. Grandpas gonna sue the pants off of Santa cause grandma wouldve wanted him to. No pantalones. Grandpas gonna sue the pants off of Santa, he knows the law is on his side. Grandpas gonna sue the pants off of Santa, Santas going for a ride. Santas going for a ride. Santas going for a ride. Im at the courthouse where the sensational Santa Claus trial is reaching its climax. Its already December and after weeks of testimony by several witnesses three questions remain: Did Santas reindeer run over grandma? Where is she now? And without Santa Claus, will there be a Christmas? District attorney Hartung is making his impassioned summation. And so, in closing do I want to see Santa Claus go to jail? Personally, no, but I represent the state and must do my job. The evidence proves Santa Claus is responsible for grandmas disappearance. So if the beard fits, you must convict. If he goes to jail, it will be the end of Christmas. What can I do, grandpa? Find grandma again. Maybe she didnt wander off. But everyone loves grandma. Who would do such a thing? Cousin Mel! Hey, boy, whatcha smell? Grandma? Jake, get that mutt away from my backpack. Sure, cousin Mel. Okay, Doofus, do your smell thing. Keep it up, Doofus. So thats where she was going. Wont be too much longer, grandma. The jury is about to find your friend in the red suit guilty. And who would that be? You still dont remember a thing, do you? My plan is going to work. Im going to be wealthy and theres no one who can stop me. Hello, inside! Who can that be way out here? How should I know? I dont even know who I am. If thats your car parked down by the road you better check it out. Some bears are hanging around it. Thank you! I was leaving anyway! Okay, but dont take too long. Have a safe, fire-free day. Good job! I came as soon as I received your e-mail, Master Jake. Now what do you have up your sleeve to get me inside? Nice entrance! Whats your name again? Jake Spankenheimer. Your grandson. Doesnt ring a bell but thanks, anyway. Dont thank me, thank Doofus. And I suppose this overexcited pooch is Doofus. Grandma, I dont have a lot of time to explain but were going to the store. Whats at the store? Your memory. This is Spankenheimers, remember? Your elf costume? Youd wear it to read to the kids while their parents were shopping. I cant believe it. You remember! No, that I would wear that shade of green with my coloring. Easy for you to say. Tell me again why Im baking two cakes? Ones with your recipe, the other uses the stuff in the vial I found at cousin Mels cabin. And this is your famous homemade fruitcake that, uh, a lot of people liked. Jake, what am I doing here? Grandma, you remember! Oh, yeah. You lost your memory, but now its back. It felt like I was in a dream. And you were in it, and Santa Claus, and Mrs. Claus. I thought I was in a, only it was cold. But if everything you told me is true, why arent we at the courthouse to prove that Im okay? Were on our way. Has the jury reached a verdict? Yes, we have, Your Honor. In the matter of the State v. Santa Claus we, the Jury, find Stop! Santa is innocent. Im grandma, and Im not missing. Im right here. That woman is a fraud. Grandma doesnt know who she is. Honeybunches! Grandma! Order in the court! Since grandma isnt missing I hereby rule that Santa Claus is innocent of causing her disappearance. Your honor, there are still the charges of sleighicular hit-and-run and leaving the scene of an accident. I can answer that, Your Honor. If you and the Jury would taste this fruitcake. No, dont! She objects. Overruled. Continue. This one was made by grandma using her special ingredients. Taste it and then compare it to the pieces of cake found at the scene of the alleged crime states evidence #12. Do we have to, Your Honor? Good question. Do we have to? Yes, I think youll find a difference between the two. All right, in the name of justice, we eat fruitcake. Now taste states evidence #12 found where grandma disappeared. So, whats your point? These pieces had an extra ingredient in them from this vial of bad stuff found at cousin Mels cabin. You see, Your Honor, it had the effect of reindeer nip. Thats why the reindeer knocked over grandma. It wasnt Santas reckless driving. I, uh, couldnt control myself. The boy has done it again. I rule that Santa is also innocent of the hit-and-run charge. And I suppose Jake has an answer to the charge of leaving the scene of an accident sleighicular negligence? Doofus does. Hes my dog. What? I object. Lets have it. This is a note Santa left at the accident scene explaining everything. Dust it for fingerprints. All right, I admit it. Yes, yes, I did it. I hid the note. And? And I made grandpa sign over his rights to the store. And? Im behind this evil trial. And? And I hate the goody, goody feelings of Christmas all this caring and sharing. So I kidnapped grandma and made Santa Claus the fall guy so I could get all his money. Hey, I deserve to be rich. Arrest this woman for obstructing justice and almost ruining Christmas. Thats what you get for being selfish and stupid. Babe, youll look great in stripes. Santa Claus, you are hereby found innocent of all charges. You are free to go. Oh, yeah! May I say one thing, Your Honor? Of course. Jake, you saved Christmas. Grandma, I want to talk to you about your store. Young man, after everything Jake has gone through do you really think Im gonna sell? I dont want to buy it. I want to franchise it open Spankenheimer general stores all over the country. And I want you to be in charge. You did it. Youre a pretty cool little bro. Were so proud of you, Jake. You never gave up even when the rest of us did. So, Jake, what do you want for Christmas? Nothin. I already got the best Christmas gift ever. I feel the same way. Im glad youre back, grandma. On, Donner, on, Blitzen The rest of you! Just the way it happened. Oh, wait. I left out one more thing. Not that one! Its cousin Mels! Wha-ha! Oh, no! Reindeer nip. Not again! Grandma got run over by a reindeer walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe. She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog, and we'd begged her not to go. But she forgot her medication, and she staggered out the door into the snow. When we found her Christmas morning at the scene of the attack she had hoof prints on her forehead and incriminating Claus marks on her back. Grandma got run over by a reindeer walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe. Now we're all so proud of grandpa he's been taking this so well , see him in there watching football, drinking beer and playing cards with cousin Mel. It's not Christmas without grandma, all the family's dressed in black. And we just can't help but wonder should we open up her gifts or send them back? Send them back! Grandma got run over by a reindeer walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and grandpa, we believe. Now the goose is on the table, and the pudding made of fig, and the blue and silver candles that would just have matched the hair in grandma's wig. I've warned all my friends and neighbors better watch out for yourselves. They should never give a license to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves. Grandma got run over by a reindeer walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe. Sing it, grandpa

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