Baghdad Cafe (a.k.a. Animaniacs Stew)

intro # 4 Chorus:She's the crankiest of creatures in the whole wide world. This short cartoon features Dotty the Squirrel. Dot: The name's Dot! Call me Dotty, and you die. Chorus: That's Dotty! Dot: I warned ya. (pulls out bomb, throws it at the camera) BOOM! BAGHDAD CAFE studio: TMS written by: John D McCann directed by: Lenord Robinson {key: Y=Yakko, W=Wakko, S=Slappy, F=Flavio, SH=Sodarn Hinsane} SH: The time has come for the mother-in-law of all battles. Soon, the world will tremble, as I, Sodarn Hinsane, unleash my really neat, new armies upon the Mid-East. Nothing can stand in my way. Heh. Heh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, heh. Y: Ahh, excuse me, is this the Baghdad Cafe? SH: No! Who are you? Y:(singing) We're the Warner Brothers, We like to sing a lot. My name's Yakko, W: My name's Wakko, YW: And her's our sister... S: (reading the Script) Slappy. I'm the cute one. I don't get it. SH: This old squirrel - she's 10,000 years older than sand. How can you be brothers and sister? Y: (whispers to SH) Ssh, don't tell her, she's adopted. S: That's it, I'm outta here! Where's Skippy? Skippy! F: Aunt Slappy! S: You're not Skippy. What the heck's going on around here? Y: Now, now, calm down sister sibling, we're at the Baghdad Cafe for brunch, remember? S: No! Y: And this is the head waiter. SH: What?! Y: Garcon, (snap) a table for three at the window. [bomb explodes, making the building suddenly an open-air one] SH: Gasp. Y: Aaaahhhh on second thought, how 'bout something a little closer to the kitchen? This should do just fine. SH: I am no head waiter! Y: Good, then I won't have to tip ya. W: Munch. (eating map) {shortnin' bread music} SH: Stop that! You are eating Kuwait! W: Needs salt. Burp! S: Thanks for sharing. SH: GUARD! GUARD! Get in here! (Guard enters) Remove these pests! W: (whispers to Slappy) Slappy, your line. S: All right, all right. Lemme see here. (reads Script) "She leaps into the handsome guard's arms..." (to Guard) Gimme a boost here, I'm old! Okay, here goes... (clears throat) "Hellooo Nurse." I don't get it, what does that mean? SH: ENOUGH! S: I couldn't agree more. SH: Do you know who I am? Y: Why? Did you forget? SH: Little fools, I am the leader of Iraq, the supreme commander, the mighty SODARN HINSANE! S: Oh yeah, well I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca, ahh forget it, I'm done. Here, have some dynamite down ya pants. (BOOM) SH: (Screams as he fies through the Baghdad sky) YW: (singing) Our story is over, Our ending is happy, Thanks to Yakko, Wakko, and our sister Slappy. S: Next time, I'm asking for script approval. wraparound # 4 (YWD runs through a park, left to right. Yakko halts them.) Y: It's that time again. W: To pad out the show? D: To search for Elvis at 7-11? Y: No, it's time to learn today's lesson. And for that, we turn to... THE WHEEL OF MORALITY (tm). Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral #3 And the moral of today's show is..."You can teach an old dog new tricks. But can't teach Madonna to act." D: That makes me feel all warm and squishy inside. Either that, or I sat in something. YWD: Yipe! (they off off screen right. Enter Ralph from screen left, cleching his fist in mid-air) Starring the voices of: Rob Paulsen.................Yakko, Pinky, Katie's Dad Jess Harnell................Wakko Tress Macneille.............Dot, Mindy's mom Maurice LaMarche............the Brain Nancy Cartwright............Mindy Chick Vennera...............Pesto Frank Welkner...............Runt, Flavio, Crackers(?), Chicken Boo Paul Rugg...................Mrs. Mumphead -- Lauara Mooney...............Katie Ka-Boom Mary Gross..................Katie's Mom Justin Garms................Tinker Sherri Stoner...............Slappy and Bernadette Peters as Rita KATHERINE PAGE: EXTREMELY CONFUSED end tag: YWD: AAAAH! THER'S A HORRIBLE BUG ON YOUR SHOULDER! AAAAAAH! Just kidding....(giggles) Copyright 1993, Amblin Entertainment, Warner Bros. Entertainment All Rights Ignored. Any retransmission, copy, sale of this document without the expressed written consent of Warner Bros., Amblin Entertainment, Steven Spielberg, the National Basketball Asoociation, the New York Knickerbockers, David "I did it with the candlestick, in the Billiard Room" Green, and Wesleyan University, is strictly encouraged.