The Anything Can Happen Recurrence


 * Sheldon: Hello. I didn’t expect you this evening.
 * Amy: Well, I was just feeling so bad about lying to you the other night, I wanted to make it up to you.
 * Sheldon: This is how "Anything can happen Thursday" turns into "It won't stop coming out Friday".


 * Fortune Teller: Your spirit guides are telling me that you're in a romantic relationship.
 * Penny: Yes! Yes, your spirit guides are on fire!
 * Sheldon: My spirit guides can go suck an egg.


 * Sheldon: (Sheldon swallows after seeing Amy in schoolgirl uniform) Unless you have gravity on Blu-ray under that skirt, I don't see where you're going with this.


 * Penny: So we’re about to shoot this scene in the movie where this killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.
 * Leonard: O.K.
 * Penny: But I realized their gluing everywhere except my cleavage. So I ask the director why and he says it’s important to the story that my boobs be the last things to turn ape.
 * Leonard: It’s sweet that he thinks there’s a story.
 * Penny: Oh there’s not even a bathroom on the set. I have to go to the gas station across the street. I mean, I was dressed as half an ape and I wasn't even close to the most disgusting person in there.


 * Sheldon: Amy’s sick.
 * Leonard: Oh, what’s wrong with her?
 * Sheldon: Well, she talks a lot. She always wants to hold hands.


 * Penny: What the hell? (Sees Bernadette and Amy toasting through the window) What? She’s not working late.
 * Sheldon: And Amy doesn’t look sick.
 * Penny: Why would they lie to us?
 * Sheldon: That’s a good question. (Knock, knock, knock) Amy and Bernadette. (Knock, knock, knock) Amy and Bernadette. (Knock, knock, knock) Amy and Bernadette. Why did you lie to us?
 * (Bernadette and Amy look distraught at each other as they are both not very happy with Sheldon's three window knocks).


 * Penny: You’re not working late. Why did you lie to me?
 * Sheldon: And Amy, you told me you were sick, but you look just as pale and tired as always.
 * Amy: (complains to Sheldon) I’m sorry. I just needed a break from hearing you obsess about what to do after string theory.
 * Bernadette: (complains to Penny) I kinda wanted one night where we didn't have to hear about how miserable you were making this movie.
 * Amy: (completely fed up) None of that means we don’t love you.
 * Penny: (she's so cross by this) I don’t complain that much about the movie, (she asks Leonard crossly) have I?
 * Leonard: (nervously) I also love you.
 * Penny: Well you know what? Maybe I need a break from all of you. Come on, Sheldon.
 * Sheldon: Where are we going?
 * Penny: (she's completely steamed with fury) We’re gonna have Anything Can Happen Thursday, you’re gonna tell me all about your science stuff and I’m gonna complain about my movie, and we’re gonna support each other because that’s what friends do.
 * Sheldon: Okay. ‘Cause if I had to pick now, I’d probably go with dark matter because…
 * Penny: (she's still really furious) Shut up.


 * (The wine bar scene where Bernadette, Leonard and Amy are sitting down feeling so depressed)
 * Amy: [worryingly] I do feel bad about lying to Sheldon. How am I going to make it up to him?
 * Bernadette: [she sighs and speaks crossly] I’ll tell you what I’d do with Howard, but I don’t think dressing up like a Catholic school girl is going to work with Sheldon.
 * [Amy has a serious think for five seconds]
 * Leonard: He’d probably give you homework.
 * Amy: [1st time: she's asking Bernadette crossly] Did you lie to Howard about tonight?
 * Bernadette: [she speaks grumpily] Of course.
 * Amy: [2nd time: she's asking Bernadette crossly] And you don’t feel guilty about it?
 * Bernadette: [she is now very cross] Between Penny’s gorilla movie and Howard’s gorilla mother, I had no choice.
 * [Amy thinks for a second]
 * Leonard: Thankfully Penny and I have a relationship based on honesty.
 * [Amy snorts grumpily for one second]
 * Leonard: What? I don’t lie to her.
 * Bernadette: [she's still very cross] Oh, we know you don’t lie to her.


 * Penny: Hey, maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these (fortune cookies).
 * Sheldon: Penny, there’s only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life’s problems and that’s an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter if you’re in a pinch.


 * Bernadette (on phone) : Yeah, honey, I’m still stuck at work. Really? Penny said that? Okay, it’s true. I’m sorry. I’ll see you at home. Yeah, yeah, I’ll put it on.


 * Leonard: You know, we never hang just out like this. Why is that?
 * Amy: I know. It's weird, right.
 * Leonard: Yea, we should do it more often.
 * Amy: No, I mean it’s weird right now.


 * Leonard: (Phone text sound) Ah, its Penny.
 * Amy: Is she still mad?
 * Leonard: Oh, doesn’t seem like it. She got Sheldon to go to a psychic with her.
 * Amy: A psychic? He considers them not just mumbo jumbo, but extra-jumbo mumbo jumbo.
 * Leonard: Well, Penny can be very persuasive. She’s gotten me to do a lot of things I wouldn’t normally do.
 * Amy: Because she has sex with you.
 * Leonard: Yeah, she does.
 * Amy: Can I confess something? Once in a while, I get a little jealous of how close Penny and Sheldon are.
 * Leonard: Really?
 * Amy: I mean, not in a romantic way. It’s just, she really has some sort of connection with him.
 * Leonard: Well, well they’ve known each other a long time, and Penny grew up around horses, so she knows how to approach him without making him skittish.
 * Amy: Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they’re friends. I just wish he’d be that comfortable around me already.
 * Leonard: Well, it took him a long time to get comfortable around me, too.
 * Amy: Really? What did you do?
 * Leonard: Something terrible in a former life? I don’t know.


 * [The restaurant scene of Bernadette returning back to the table to get her bag and coat in fury]
 * Bernadette: (she is so very cross) I gotta go. Penny ratted me out to Howard. FYI she’s getting you a watch for your birthday with money she took out of your wallet.
 * [Bernadette smacks the top of Leonard's arm hard and leaves the restaurant crossly]


 * Sheldon: I don’t mean to be rude or discourteous, but before we begin, I’d just like to say there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support clairvoyance of any kind. Which means again, no insult intended, that you’re a fraud, your profession is a swindle and your livelihood is depended upon the gullibility of stupid people. But again, no offense.
 * Penny: Sheldon, ask your question.
 * Sheldon: OK, I just did. What was it?
 * Penny: Oh, for God Sakes. Look he’s a physicist who trying to figure out what his next field of study should be.
 * Sheldon: For your information I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie.
 * Penny: I can answer that one. I’ll be bored.
 * Fortune Teller: All right. Why don’t we begin? Your spirit guide is telling me that there’s a woman in your life that you’re having problems with.
 * Sheldon: That’s an easy guess. I’m a clearly annoying person and have problems with both genders.
 * Fortune Teller: I know. You clearly are. But I’m seeing a specific woman that you’re in a romantic relationship with.
 * Penny: Oh, oh. Here we go.
 * Fortune Teller: Does she have dark hair?
 * Penny: Yes. Yes. Your spirit guide’s on fire!
 * Sheldon: The majority of people have dark hair. Even you at one time.
 * Fortune Teller: Does she work in a similar field to you?
 * Sheldon: Ha. The opposite. She’s a neurobiologist, I’m a theoretical physicist. My spirit guide can go suck an egg.
 * Fortune Teller: They’re telling me that you have difficulty being close with her.
 * Penny: Oh, he does. He so does. What should he do?
 * Fortune Teller: He should give himself to this relationship. Once he does all his other pursuits will come into focus.
 * Penny: Sheldon, did you hear that? Amy is the key to your happiness.
 * Fortune Teller: Exactly. Personally and professionally everything will fall into place once you commit to her.
 * Sheldon: Do you what this is? I reserve this word for those rare instances for it is truly deserving. This is malarkey.
 * Penny: Wow. You really struck a nerve. I never heard him use the M word before.


 * Raj: Here we go, House of a 1,000 Corpses.
 * Emily: Now, just so you know, I was a nanny for three years, so if you get scared, I can totally change your diaper.
 * Raj: Actually, I have to tell you something. These kind of movies really aren’t my thing, so, last night, I watched it just to see what I was getting myself into.
 * Emily: Okay.
 * Raj: And I have to be honest, I thought it was disturbing and weird, and it made me wonder what it says about someone who enjoys it.
 * Emily: I wonder that, too.
 * Raj: Then, why do you watch these things?
 * Emily: Can I tell you something without you judging me?
 * Raj: Sure.
 * Emily: They kind of turn me on.
 * Raj: And play.