Teeth

Hey, Brad!

Don't splash your sister.

She ain't my sister!

Well, it's my sincere hope that she will be.

No!

Hey, try to be friends, okay?

No, goddamn it!

- Hey!

- Bill.

Just...

cut him some slack.

Let's see yours now.

Kim.

Ow! Ow.

- Son?

- Ow!

What's wrong?

What happened?

Brad?

Bill, what is--

What is it?

Let me see.

Show your dad.

Let me see it.

Oh!

Oh, God.

Aw, that doesn't look good.

Dawn, honey, are you okay?

Dawn, you all right?

Dawn?

Dawn?

We have a gift... a very precious gift.

And... what do you do with gifts?

Do you go around giving them to everyone you pass on the street?

No!

No, those wouldn't be gifts.

They'd be, like, a handout.

So... what about the most precious gift of all?

Are you gonna give that to the first guy who buys you a big bunch of roses?

No way!

No way?

And, um... I'm not just talking to the, uh, girls.

You guys... you have the same gift to give.

Are you gonna give that to some girl 'cause she looks like she just stepped out of a music video?

No.

No, you're gonna hold onto it and share it with the mother of your children.

Yeah, definitely.

I mean, that's what the ring is all about.

The way it wraps around your finger, that's to remind you to keep your gift wrapped.

Wrapped...

until the day...

you trade it in for that other ring...

that gold ring.

Get it?

You were so good!

Because you know this goes way beyond sex.

If you used your hand on yourself, do you think that's pure?

No way!

And is any of this-- groping, touching-- okay?

- I missed you.

- I missed you!

This whole break, I've been calling--

That job that I have--

Ugh, mine too.

Who thinks that oral sex...?

And my-- my mom.

She's sick again, so, um...

You see, there are no loopholes with the Promise.

- I'm sorry, Dawn.

Yeah, sorry.

There is no back door.

Hey, guys.

- Hi, Tobey. Oh, Tobey! This is our friend, Dawn O'Keefe. Tobey Cobb. Tobey just moved here. We were best friends back home. He starts school with us tomorrow. Hi. Hey. So, I hear there's gonna be No way. Phenomenal! It's you, you know. Oh, I don't know. It is. People really related to what you said, but... especially the way you said it. # My heart, my heart # # Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, my heart # Hey, Dawn! Hi, Mrs. Kitchens! # Oh, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart # Hi, baby. Come on in. So, how'd it go? They asked me to come back to the next one and speak. Well, of course they did. Hey, sweetheart. Did you have fun? Yeah, they had awesome music. - Mm-hmm? - And, uh, food. So... Oh, Kim, you're warm, baby. You have pain today? Let's talk about young people stuff. Uh, Gwen and Phil say hi. They are so adorable. Wills of iron. Well, things were a little different when we were growing up. Hey. It is different now. Hey, honey, we're not complaining. You are a blessing. Both our children are blessings. Brad! I got you, bitch! I got you so good! Whoo! # To know what it's like # # To dance with him... # # He's so close I can feel him # #...won't give in to the feeling 'cause # # Love is worth waiting for # # Love is worth waiting for # # My heart is... # All right, here's your chance. Make a move, stud. Hmm... gimme. Give me it. Mm-hmm. Love is worth waiting for! Wait? Yeah, I'll wait for the bitch to get her panties off. What kind of soda do you guys got, huh? - We got cherry. - Let's pop that cherry! Go on! Sorry! - Hey, Tobey. - Hey, Dawn. Quite a welcome. Dick. Great. You're not allowed to actively thwart it. All's fair, dude. Okay, dude. So, questions? That's it, then, for the penis. Let's move on to the... to the, ahem... uh, the next page. The female... privates. - Um, there's something weird in my book. - Leave it. I have it too. A sticker. What's it hiding? The state school board has rightly ordered it be concealed, a detailed diagram of-- of the-- Vulva! Oh, my God. That's fucked up. Why are they covering that up? That should be obvious. They showed the penis picture. - That's different. - How so? The sad thing is, Ryan, you'll probably never know. Right? Uh, Dawn. I think I can tell you how it's different. Girls have a natural modesty. It's built into our nature, and so depicting... They do! Oh, great! I read about that one. Phil, that's rated R. Oh, I hear it's good. I'm not saying we should see it. You know what, even the PG-13 is gonna have heavy making out. Well, there's... Sorry. It's okay. Bunny. How'd that happen? I was a little kid. No one ever told you? No, they never figured it out. What? I think she bit it. She... who? Dawn. A baby bit the end of your finger off? Here, hit this. Hey, guys, where are we going? You'll see! Isn't this a big make-out spot? Only at night. Do you think this is a good idea? We're in a group. We'll police each other. Right? Is this private property? Watch out for the poison ivy. - Whoa. Phil, what are you doing? Whoa. Wow. Is that a cave? Yeah. People go there to... you know. You like that? You know, I do have a perfectly good pussy. I'm sure you do. Well, I do. Other boys like it just fine. Ow. Well, fuck them, then. Hey, Mother! Hey, come over here. Get in. Come on, get in! Whoa! Oh, oh, oh, oh! A little too close. You get what you deserve. Really? Knock it off! Ugh! Brad! No, never. It's never even been a big deal. I just... always knew I wanted to wait until marriage. So, no one's ever even touched your... Absolutely not! Gosh. Why, are... - Aren't you? - I'm a virgin. - That's great. - Mm. In His eyes. Oh. It was just once... about a year and a half ago. Right. Still dealing with the guilt. Actually, you're... probably stronger now. Your resolve. Because you've been there. I mean, you've seen the dangers firsthand. - Where's the arroyo bridge? - I'll show you. WOMAN ON TV What's happening to you tonight? Keep quiet! Alive? I can't believe it, enduring for centuries like this. And under all that heat. Oh, no! Yaah! What is wrong with me? Purity. Purity. Tsk. Back then, these snakes were born into an environment with very large mammals, so the diamondbacks that developed a rattle had a big advantage over those that didn't. They didn't get stepped on. You mean suddenly, out of nowhere, a baby snake was born with a big rattle? The prevailing theory is that it would have been born with an incipient... Primitive. Thank you, Ryan. ...rattle-like mutation that would have developed over thousands of years of evolution, but we don't know for sure. Got that right. It's also possible that it happened exactly as you said, and that one day a baby diamondback was born with a fully formed mutation that just happened to be extremely beneficial to its survival. Does this seem irrelevant to all of you? Because it's not. Now, I know a lot of you subscribe to other theories. But however you think this was all set in motion... -...it's about your life. - Hey. It's about why you are the way you are. Dawn? This is about you. And you missed it. Tobey, listen. I was really weird this morning. I think I know why. I had a really nice time. Me too. My thoughts haven't been so pure. Look, I-- I think that we can't go out together again... I mean, even in a group. Even in a big group. I was thinking the same thing. Just... didn't want it to be true. We're so in sync. What is wrong with you? You look a lot better with a dick in your mouth. Fucking bastard! Why can't we do it normal like everybody else? Why do we always have to do it that way, Brad? It hurts! I don't want to do it! It hurts! You're not being fair! ...what I wanna do... Deep down, I know you don't really like to try-- Fuck you! I love you! You love me? Yes. And you love me too, you know you do. And I love you too. I love your ass. Yo. Are you alone? Can I have a serious talk with you? About you and Melanie. There's no me and any bitch. Okay. From what I heard last night-- Did that turn you on? You... I know we've never been close. We've never been like sister and brother, and I really don't know why that is. Sure you do. You know. I really don't, but whatever it is, I'd like for it to change. You know, all that abstinence bullshit? We all knowhow you've been saving yourself for. And I've been real patient. You think I like living here with these assholes? Mom and Dad? So why don't you just set that pretty ass down? Dawn? I need to see you. I brought my bathing suit. That's just how I imagined you in my mind. You're beautiful. You imagined me? That's okay. I did too. You. Except... with less. This does not feel wrong at all. Uh! Purity. No, stay in there. I'm freezing! Oh. Uh. Let's go back. Okay. Okay. Can I just--? Mmm. Mmm, wow. Mm-- We made a sacred promise. Get off. - You don't have to do anything. - No. No, damn it. Stop-- damn it, Tobey! No! I haven't even jerked off since Easter! I am saying no! Tobey, don't! No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Dawn? Oh... Stop it! What are you doing?! - Oh, it's okay! It's okay. - Tobey! You're still pure in His eyes. No! What? What? What? Get off! Get away! Tobey? # Throw out the lifeline # # Throw out the lifeline # # Someone is drifting away # # Throw out the lifeline # # Throw out the lifeline # # Someone is sinking today # # Throw out the lifeline across the dark wave # # There is a brother whom someone should save # # Somebody's brother, oh, who then will dare # - # To throw out... # That you, honey? It's me. There's dinner if you want a bite. I ate. Thanks. # Throw out the lifeline # # Throw out the lifeline # # Someone is drifting away # # Throw out the life-- # Just wing it, Dawn. You'll be fine. Yeah, speak from the heart. Huh? - Tobey'll be there. - You've seen him? He said he wanted to come, but wouldn't if-- When? I don't know, a couple of days ago? If it made you nervous, he said he wouldn't come, but he really wants to support you. You just always seem to get-- Dawn! Yay, Dawn! Mr. Vincent asked me to talk about purity today. Purity, yes! Yeah? And... yesterday... I could have done that... because yesterday I was pure. " 'She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.' " Adam. - Right. - I can't make sense of it yet. I-- Uh... Is that it? Is... Is... Is it the Adam inside? Inside-- "'Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.'" I don't know. Phew, I don't know. But there is something... There is something... inside of... me... that's lethal. - The serpent. - I don't know. I don't know what it is. " 'The serpent beguiled me, and I ate.' " I think what Dawn is getting at is so important, people-- exile from the garden. Serpent. Serpent. Serpent. Though it was not part of God's original plan... thanks to Eve and the devil, we-- Hey, Dawn! What are you doing here? Oh, you know, checking it out. I thought if you were so into it, it must be pretty cool. - Did you drive? - Yeah. Yeah, my mom lent me her car. Oh! Uh, listen. Um... do you want to hang out sometime? I-- I mean, I know you're-- you're not into, you know, whatever, but, uh... L-like a date? That's funny. - It's not you. - Mm-hmm. No big deal. Oh, what's so goddamn funny about it? Damn. Hey, Brad. Uh, I'm here for Dawn. You're out of your league, pussy boy. - Excuse me? - Get the fuck off my property. Hey, uh, listen, Brad-- Uhh! If you want any more of that, you can come by and see us again, yeah? "The toothed vagina appears in the mythology "of many and diverse cultures all over the world. "In these myths, the story is always the same. "The hero must do battle with the woman, "the toothed creature, and break her power." Kim, honey, I'm gonna call-- I can get someone to cover. Bill! Oh... "The myth springs from a primitive masculine dread "of the mysteries of women and sexual union. "Fears of weakness, impotence... "It is a nightmare image of the power and horror of female sexuality. "The myth imagines sexual intercourse as an epic journey "that every man must make back to the womb, the dark crucible that hatched him." Dark crucible. All right, Miss...? I can't read this. Cobb. What can I do for you, Miss Cobb? Is this your first time? Okay. Just lie down. That's it. Put your feet right in here. Mr. Socky... one there, and Mr. Socky... okay. Okay. So, I imagine you have no idea what to expect. Not really. Well, don't worry. I'm not gonna bite ya. Scoot down. Scoot, scoot, scoot. Scoot down, scoot down. Come on, scoot down. Scoot, scoot, scoot. Okay. Let me guess. You'd like to start on birth control. No, uh... I just... wanna be... checked out. You know, make sure that there are no... adaptations or anything. I think there might be something weird going on inside. Indeed there is. What you're probably adapting to is womanhood. Your body is going through so many changes now-- This might be a little cold. I have a hunch you are perfectly healthy. Are you sexually active? No. Y-yes. In this room... there are no judgments made. Deal? Okay, then. How's this? Shouldn't you tell me? It's good. Okay. So... Let's test your flexibility. Ow! Just lie back and relax. Just breathe. Breathe through the pain. I can't! Oh! My goodness, you're tight. Ah! Relax. Yes, now there we go. What? What's-- What have you put in here? Didn't--! Aah! Aaaah! It's true! Vagina dentata! Vagina dentata! Vagina dentata! This is the police. Pull over now. Pull over now. Get that thing out of the way! Tobey? Detective, found something! My God, he's got another one. Mom? Dad, Mom? Oh! Mom! No! No! Help! Ow. Ow. - Help! Oh, God, honey. Sweetheart, you gotta get home and get some rest. She's gonna need you chipper tomorrow, hmm? You go. Be careful. Emergency room, how may I help you? I don't even feel like I know you right now. I don't know what's in the ass that makes you so excited. You know what? Probably somebody's... Get out of my fucking room! Are you serious? What is wrong with you? Why don't you shut the fuck up!? Shut up! Mom? Elliot? - Hi. - There's no one-- There's nobody else that I can talk to. My mom is in the hospital. I have to go to the police and turn myself in. Police? I killed him. You killed someone? Almost two. Dentata. What? It's Latin for "teeth." A vagina that... Uh, yeah, I know what that is. I'm not following you. What again? Vagina dentata. It's what's inside me. The doctor said so. A hero has to come and conquer them. That's what they say. Who? The ancient Greeks and Egyptians and early Christians and Jews and Polynesians and lots of Native Americans. Shh, shh. Ahem. Uh, I'm not looking. My mom takes these for her nerves. Good. Okay. All right. Where are my clothes? Um... I have to go to the police. That pill might make you a little fuzzy-headed. I have to confess. Yeah, but, uh, tomorrow, tomorrow. You want them to take you seriously, don't you? Come. Have a seat. Take it. To the smartest, prettiest girl I know. Oh. This is how I always dreamed it'd be. Ooh! Oh... oh. Hey, hey, relax. Relax. Just rest. Just rest. I'm right here. Oh. Oh. You can't. D-do you want me to stop? No. Oh. Good. But-- they'll get you. Who? The teeth. Oh, come on. Seriously. No, no, look. I'm-- I'm conquering them. See? Yeah. I'm-- I'm-- I'm the hero. We found this embedded in the penile stump. So what's it from? Well, dentition is not an exact science. The root design would have led me to ascribe it to the selachii, the sharks and the rays... but the crown made me think of the cyclostomes, the lamprey. See the serration near the tip? So this comes from a cross between a shark and an eel, something like that? No. Our tests show that it's human. Huh. What? Uh... noth-nothing. I just-- just can't believe it. I can't either. I can't believe you're still alive. Uh, right. I got it. Thanks. You sure you don't want to tell us how this happened? Where you going? I do have to go to the police. Mm, you are my hero. Sweet. Hey, loser. As we speak. Oh, yeah? She's not there. - Yeah? - Prove it. - Say something. - What? - There's nobody there, man. - No! - You hear that? What?! Yes. - Mmm... - What was that? Oh, nothing. We made a bet that I could, uh, you know. Unh-unh-unh. So... you made a bet about me when I had taken a sacred vow of abstinence? I had a hunch that it wasn't all that sacred. It was, though. Your mouth is saying one thing, babe, but your sweet pussy is saying something very... different. Uh, aah! Aah! Oh... shit. Some hero. Mom? You're the daughter? Just a moment. Have a seat, dear. Son? Son! Oh, what the fuck, Dad? Jesus. Would you excuse us, miss, please? Okay. I want you out of here. Out. What? Oh, right, so... it's Kim, huh? Old cunt's making you kick me to the curb, is that what's going on? Ow! When it rains, it pours. I know, right? There has got to be a story here. He was in a delirium. Hardly seems worth it. You want me out of here, you're gonna have to throw me out. I should've done that a long time ago. Yeah, you should have. Shit! Mother! No, Brad, don't! Aaahhhh! Uhh. Uhh! - Brad, you're a fucking-- Yeah! Yeah, who's kicking who out now, old man? Aah! Please. Please, son. Why'd you have to marry her? Look, I know you loved your mother. - I did too-- - My mother? I don't even remember that bitch. What? You made her my sister. I loved her, Dad. She loves you too... So very much. She does. Mother, shut up. Hey, get back in your cage! Get! Dr. Sanchez, please report to the nurses' station. Dr. Sanchez... Oh... mm. Ohhh. Hey. I'm sorry. She was screaming, but Brad said just to ignore it, that she did that all the time. I'm so sorry. Why are you doing this now?. Are you afraid? Ooh. This is too fucking weird. Just wait. Wait. Pshew. Okay. Ow. What are you-- - All right, that's it. - No, no. Stop it. Aw, God! Why did you want to come here? Mm, mm, babe... No one dares come near the Castle Borski. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Ohh... Mmm. Yeah. You see what we've been missing? We... always knew it'd play out this way eventually, didn't we? Ever since we were little kids. Unh! Aah! Unh! Uh, aah! Aah! Where--? If you would be good enough to tell me where you're going. Mother, get her! Drop it. No! No! Wait. Don't-- don't leave me. ...life... from non-life. These evolutionists will try to persuade you... These evolutionists will try to tell you... # I got a letter this morning # # I got a letter this morning # # Who put the "bomp" in the bomp-shooby-dooby-bomp? # # Who put the "ram" in the rama-lama-ding-dong? # # You did # # I got a letter this morning # # Who put the "bomp" in the bomp-shooby-dooby-bomp? # # Who put the "ram" in the rama-lama-ding-dong? # # You did # # You did # # I got a letter this morning # # Wake me up if I should drift away # # I don't wanna miss a thing # # Take my hand and lead me all around # # I don't care # # Where we're going # # Who dug the crude and made it flow? # # Who proved that anything was possible? # # You did # # I got a letter this morning # # Who built the house and brought it down? # # Who raised the roof and never made a sound? # # You did # # You did # # I got a letter this morning # # Wake me up if I should drift away # # I don't wanna miss a thing # # Take my hand and lead me all around # # I don't care # # Where we're going # # I got a letter this morning # # I got a letter this morning # # Who rose right out of the morning mist # # Opened my heart like a baby's fist? # # You did # # I got a letter this morning # # Who cleared the static and made it sing? # # Who put the wheel on the gravy train? # # You did # - # I got a letter this morning # - # You did # # Wake me up if I should drift away # # I don't wanna miss a thing # # I got a letter this morning # # Take my hand and lead me all around # # I don't care # # Where we're going # # I got a letter this morning # # Who put the "bomp" in the bomp-shooby-dooby-bomp? # # Who put the "ram" in the rama-lama-ding-dong? # # Who put the "wang" in the wang-dang-noo, baby? # # You did # # I got a letter this morning # # I got a letter this morning # # I got a letter this morning # # I got a letter this morning # # I got # # I got a letter this morning # # Who put the "flip" in the flippity-flop? # # Who put the "hip" in the hippity-hop? # # Who put the "boom" in the boom-boom-shaka-laka? # #You did # # I got a letter this morning # # My heart, my heart, my heart # # My heart, my heart # # Bye-bye, bye-bye #

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