The Launch Acceleration


 * Sheldon: Amy has embarked on a campaign to increase my feelings for her by making me happy.


 * Sheldon: I must say, I was surprised you chose to spend our date night in your apartment. As I mentioned, the Pasadena City Council is debating longer crosswalk times, and later the Lego store is having a Midnight Madness Sale. You ask anyone, that's a hot date.
 * Amy: Tempting choices, but I have something special planned for tonight.
 * Sheldon: What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny Lego Indiana Jones?
 * Amy: With our friends moving forward in their relationships, I have decided that we should make progress in ours as well.
 * Sheldon: Dear Lord! Two years ago we didn't even know each other. And now, I'm in your apartment after dark. How much faster can this thing go?
 * Amy: I had a feeling you'd be reluctant, which is why I'm going to dip into my neurobiological bag of tricks.
 * Sheldon: Oh! You brain monkeys kill me. Dip away! (He takes a seat by the counter)
 * Amy: I've devised an experiment that I believe will increase your feelings for me, in an accelerated time frame.
 * Sheldon: Well, how do you propose to do that? I hope you're not thinking about some sort of thought control. Because there's only one mind-expanding drug that this man enjoys, and that's called school.
 * Amy: (Opens her refrigerator) Human beings form emotional attachments as they grow up. In your case, to your mother, superheroes, etc. I'm going to attempt an experiment that will get you to transfer those feelings to me.
 * Sheldon: Well, seems what's on the menu tonight is malarkey, with a big side of poppycock.
 * Amy: We'll see. Let's start with a little romantic dinner music, shall we? (turns on the music)
 * Sheldon: Super Mario Bros. theme?
 * Amy: Yes.
 * Sheldon: I see what you're doing. You're attempting to build on the work of by triggering an involuntary memory of me playing that game. Admittedly the happiest 600 hours of my childhood. But it won't work!
 * Amy: Fine! There's no reason we still can't have a lovely dinner. Why don't you have a seat?
 * (Sheldon walks to the set-up table while humming to the Super Mario Bros. theme)
 * Amy: May I offer you something to drink?
 * Sheldon: You know I don't drink.
 * Amy: Not even (takes out a bottle) strawberry Quik?
 * Sheldon: I love strawberry Quik. It's my favorite pink fluid. Narrowly beating out.
 * Amy: Oh, I know. I think it will go nicely with what I have prepared for dinner.
 * Sheldon: (Pleasantly surprised) Spaghetti with little pieces of hot dog cut up in it!
 * Amy: Just like your mommy used to make.
 * Sheldon: Oh! Yummy yummy! (scoops spaghetti on his plate) We should do this more often. (Realizes something) Uh-oh!


 * Howard: Well, that's it. My orders have been rescinded. I am officially no-go to space.
 * Leonard: I'm sorry, Howard. But I gotta tell you, I'm a little relieved you're not going.
 * Howard: Why?
 * Leonard: Come on, you were gonna go up in a rocket designed in the 1960's by the Russians.
 * Howard: Yeah, so?
 * Leonard: When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, Ooh, check out this player, it must be good, it was built in Russia?
 * Howard: Well, their technology isn't that bad.
 * Raj: When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule, you free fall, from space, at 500 mph, and the only thing that slows you down is a little parachute that pops out right before you crash into the ground. And the whole thing was designed by the same brilliant minds who were unable to capture.
 * Howard: Right, well, whatever. I wasn't worried.
 * Raj: You weren't?
 * Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch Star Trek, I live it.
 * Raj: Oh, please. I don't remember the episode of Star Trek, where the guy never goes to space, and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
 * Howard: Make all the jokes you want, but there's only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.
 * (Sheldon comes out from the dressing room, he is wearing a red long john with a tuxedo)
 * Sheldon: Ah, much better!
 * Leonard: You must be burning up.
 * Sheldon: A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them. (Looks in a mirror) Well, I cut quite the dashing yet hygienic figure, don't I? I look like the Flash about to get married. (Puts his hands in the pockets, and discovers a tissue in one of them) Oh, a tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord! (Runs outside)
 * Tuxedo store employee: Uh, where is he going?
 * Leonard: He keeps emergency Purell in the car. (Fishes out the car key from his pocket)
 * Sheldon: (Runs back in to Leonard) Keys! Keys! Keys! (Grabs them from Leonard and runs outside again)


 * Howard: Yes! Thank you! Oh! Oh! I’m not gonna die in space! I’m gonna die the way God intended, in my late 50s, with a heart full of pastrami.


 * Leonard: I'm sorry. I did, I crossed a line. I didn't mean to!
 * Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
 * Leonard: I don't know, it just came out. People say weird things during sex all the time.
 * Penny: Okay, well, they sure as hell don't say that.
 * Leonard: It was the heat of the moment.
 * Penny: No, the heat of the moment is "Ooh, yeah just like that", not "Will you marry me?".
 * Leonard: I'm sorry. Just give me another chance.
 * Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, want to go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?"
 * Leonard: Again, I'm sorry. You know, with Howard and Bernadette getting married, I got caught up in a little wedding fever. I take it back.
 * Penny: You can't take something like that back. I mean, what are we even supposed to do now?
 * Leonard: Okay, at some point, we'll look back and this is going to be a funny story. Why don't we just start doing that now?
 * Penny: You're kidding.
 * Leonard: No. Hey, do you remember that time when I proposed to you in bed?
 * And you were all, like, "what are you doing?" That was so funny. So funny.
 * Penny: It's not funny.
 * Leonard: Give it a minute. Is that a little smile I see there? I should go.