Operation: Other Side Part 1

Um, a little help here, sweetheart. Oh, heck no! I know you did not just call me sweetheart. Do I look like some nasty, overpriced Valentine's Day candy to you? Excuse me? Excuse yourself, parental unit. Okay, you have four seconds to tell me what's up before you're grounded until your kids have kids. Sorry, Mom. I was just kinda gettin' into character I just got word that we have a new mission at the reformatory for wayward girls. Okay. Fill me in. So the Other Side is recruiting troubled teens from inside, so we have to go undercover and identify the recruiter. Your cover is going to be a guard, and my cover is A troubled teen with a big mouth? Bingo, little homie. Not as dumb as you look. Okay, sorry. I got a little carried away that time. Let me help you with the groceries. I keep it undercover. I keep it undercover. Hold up, delinquent. Are you okay, honey? Mom, relax. I'm fine, okay? You don't have to worry about me. It's just that the girls in here are a little rough around the edges. Let them get in my way, I'll smooth 'em out. That's my girl. Now get your butt out there, delinquent. Fresh meat, fresh meat, fresh meat. Fresh meat? I don't think so. I'm a vegetarian, yo. Hey, veggie. Keep your mouth shut. While you're in here, you're mine. You do what I say when I say and how I say do it. Uh, technically, the correct grammar would be "the way I say to do it. " Oh, sookie sookie. We got the grammar police up in here, y'all. Uh technically, that's not grammar at all, but I mean, yes, ma'am. You must be the new guard. I'm Big Ange. I'm medium-sized Kathy. You're funny, Kathy. Yo, what's up? I'm Cassandra. My friends call me Puppet. That's right. Puppet. Wanna know how I got the name Puppet? Well, too bad, 'cause I wasn't gonna tell you guys anyway. Abigail. Ooh! Actually, my name is Scar. Why do they call you that? Call me Abigail one more time, and you'll find out. Oh, okay. I just kinda got here, so I gotta unpack and stuff. Guard, please lock me in my cell. I can see you in there. What do you want, Petey? My mom said your mom's sprinklers are making her flowerbed all muddy. What are you looking for? I don't know. But I've seen things. Something weird is going on in this house. When I find it, I'll let you know. So is your mom here? - Nope, it's just me. - Aha! You're home alone. Now I gotcha. 'Cause my mom's gonna call the authorities on your mom's butt. What are you talking about? My mom is, uh, right upstairs. No, no, no, no, no. You just said Clean your ears out, pumpkin face. I said she's right upstairs. Petey, no one likes a buttinsky. Tell your mama to mind her own flowers. Told ya. Something weird is going on in this house. I promise you, I will figure it out. Figure this out. Kids. Inspection! Against the wall, delinquent. Uh, what do you think you're doing? I just made that bed. Lookin' for contraband, delinquent. It seems like you're enjoying this a little bit too much, Officer Velasquez. Why are you hiding in your cell? Your mission's out there. But it is scary out there. That girl Scar, she barked at me. Barked. These girls are way tougher than I thought they'd be. Yes, I kinda figured that out when you ran from them, screaming, "Help, help, help!" I don't think I can do this. Of course you can. You just gotta sharpen your teeth. Your bite has to be worse than their bark. Get in good with that Scar girl. And how am I supposed to do that? Just walk up to her and be like, What's up, Scar? How's it goin', girl? Slap the snot outta anyone lately? I did. Let's be evil besties. Embrace your bad self, girl. And don't worry. I got your back. I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to my baby. - Thanks, Mom. - Now clean up this cell, delinquent. Your mama don't work here! That's funny 'cause your mama does work here. Judy! Are you in there? I can see the lights are on. I will not be ignored! Anyway, I'm coming back, and this time, I'm bringing my mother. Mom! That Petey is getting on my last nerve. Now I don't have a choice. I need a baby-sitter. Or a robot sitter. Hello. Hey, girl, any chance you can baby-sit Judy tonight? Sorry, Mrs. C. I'm pretty busy. And between you and me, that little Judy's a pain in the butt. You're not walk in the park yourself. Excuse me? Judy, give me back that phone. She's so precious. Please take care of Judy for me tonight. How much does it pay? I don't know. $500. I'll be right over. Bunch of weak girls in here. Where's all the tough chicks everyone warned me about? We're the tough chicks. Oh, yeah? Yeah. All right then. Guess I'll just hang out with y'all. - Who said you're tough enough? - I did. In fact, I'll prove I'm tough enough. Anything. Name it. Okay. I want you to mop the floor. Man, piece of cake. I'm gonna need a bucket No. I want you to mop the floor with that guard. Velasquez? Come on. The little one? Give me a real challenge. What's the matter? You too scared to step to a guard? I will step to her. In fact, I'm gonna step on her. It'll be like Riverdancin' up in here, yo. Mom, you know I love you, but I gotta mess you up. - Excuse me? - Scar says I have to fight you. Oh. In that case, hit me hard. What? I don't want to. You're my mommy. And your mommy is sayin', "Hit me. " Come on. This'll just be like sparring practice at home. - Okay. - All right. Okay. I'm gonna hit you now, okay? What are you doing? I'm not gonna make it easy on you. Hit me again, delinquent. See what happens. - Nice kick, Mom. - Thanks. - Wanna do that over-the-table thing? - Sure. Why not? Settle down. All of you, back to what you were doing, now! Not you, Puppet. I got other plans for you. Fine. You can lock me up, but you cannot break me. I've got something worse than lock-up. You're gettin' a time out. And you gonna think about what you done done. Tough stuff. So now that you hang with my crew, what's your story, Puppet? Wouldn't you like to know? Yes. That's why I asked. We're friends now. What's with the attitude? Oh, sorry. Come on. How'd you end up in here? Well, uh, I knocked over a convenience store. That's no big thing. Convenience stores get robbed all the time. Oh, I didn't rob it. Took a forklift, and turned it on its side. Dang, Puppet. That's messed up. Who wants help with their homework? I'm guessing you, because I don't need help with mine. Seriously. A third grader could do it. Well, lucky for you, I was awesome in third grade. I don't want to brag, but I did do it twice. Fine. Stacy has 40 beans and Andy has 50 beans. If Chris has twice as many beans as Stacy and Andy combined, then what does Chris have? Gas, I'm thinking. You know what? I can take it from here. Yeah. Homework is boring. Ooh, I could give you a makeover. Ooh, that's okay. Come on. It'll be fun. What are we gonna do to that face? Whatever you want. I got five more in the closet. - Huh? - Nothing. Hey, Mom, couple of things. First off, the vending machine is out of animal crackers, so if you can get some more, that would be super. And also, I have infiltrated Scar's group. Great. But the recruiter's only gonna pick one girl. You have to out-Scar Scar. You have to be the top dog. Man, this mission is exhausting. First I gotta infiltrate, now I gotta be the top dog. When does it end? What are you complainin' about? The other guards expect me to chip in for a present for Big Ange's birthday. I've known her for, like, 20 minutes. Fine. I'll go be top dog. That's right. I said we want more animal crackers. The kind with sprinkles and frosting. Anything else is bunk! That's right, I said bunk! Dang, Puppet. What were you goin' off about? None of your business. Did I ask you to talk? You got a big mouth, Abigail. Yeah, I got a big mouth. But my fists are even bigger. Now my mashed potatoes are gonna get cold, 'cause I'm gonna have to handle you. I don't think so. Not on my watch. Man, good thing Big Ange broke it up, 'cause I was ready to duke this one out. Girls, violence is never the answer. Unless it's in a boxing ring. Okay, I need you to be careful out there. Keep your gloves up. I hear Scar has never lost a fight. Mom, relax. Okay? I got this. I'm just gonna do a roundhouse kick, and then maybe a flying scissor takedown. KC, you can't do that. I don't know, Mom. I'd say there's about 50 enemy agents that say that I can. This is boxing. There are rules. You only get one move a punch. Boxers, to the center of the ring. Good luck, Puppet. Uh, Scar, girl, you see, I've been thinkin'. And, um, I forgive you. Hug it out? What is up with her and the animal noises? I don't know how much more of this I can take. What round are we even on? Let's see. You just finished the first round. Mom, I can't go back in there. I'm afraid she's gonna rip me apart like a birthday piÃ±ata. Relax. This mouth guard contains an eardrum disruptor. Just point it at Scar and bite down. It'll send out a silent pulse causing her to lose her balance. Really? You couldn't have given that to me before Scar decided to rearrange my ribs? Get out there, champ. Bounce. You now have my permission to grub. Looks like you're really takin' to bein' the boss, huh, Puppet? That's right. Got a problem with it, call someone who cares. I care. Underneath this gruff exterior beats the heart of a woman who is deeply concerned with the rehabilitation of Virginia's wayward youth. - Really? - Heck, no! Let's take a walk. What if I told you I could get you out of here, if you agree to go work for a secret group of bad guys called the Other Side? Wait. The other side of what? It's just the Other Side. - So there's no other side? - No. Just the Other Side. - Why don't they just call it the Side? - How the heck do I know?! But if you think you bad in here, you really get to be bad, you come work for us. I like the sound of that. Good. Meet me here 10:00 tonight. Perfect. You look perfect. Why exactly am I wearing my mom's clothes? We're playing dress-up. It's a natural rite of passage for all young girls. I don't know what kind of messed-up family you come from, but I refuse to be a part of this mess. But you look so cute. Oh, speaking of cute, I forgot to call my boyfriend Eric. Eric, it's Marisa. I just want to let you know that I am baby-sitting, so I will not be able to go out with you tonight. In case you were going to ask. Oh, you weren't? What about tomorrow night? Next week? Sorry, I'm confused, Eric. Are you breaking up with me? Please tell me you don't need a hug. Why does this always happen to me? Probably because you're more concerned about what's on the outside than what's on the inside. - Why would you say that? - Uh, my face? Marisa, you need to take a good, long, hard look at yourself. - I do that every - Not in the mirror. Girlfriend, you need to stop frontin'. You are so right. I do need to stop fronting. What exactly does that mean? It means you need to be more like who you are with KC, and stop trying to please others. So what you're saying is, I just need to be myself? Well, you could probably do better than that. - Oh, I love you, Judy. - I know you do. Mom. Guess what? Big Ange is the recruiter. She's meeting us here in ten minutes. All we gotta do is take her down, - and we are outta here. - KC I am telling you, this mission has whupped my behind. Literally. Thank goodness it is finally over. Actually, it's not over. Honey, I just got word from the Organization. They want you to keep your cover alive. I don't understand. You've been recruited to join the Other Side, and they want you to go in. For how long? There's no way of knowing. But Mom, I had plans with Marisa this weekend. We already bought our movie tickets online, and they're not refundable. I'm sorry, honey. This is not good, okay? If I could barely handle being in here, how am I supposed to handle being on the other side? Honey, I know, but this is what the Organization wants. Fine. What's your cover gonna be? I'm not going. You're on your own for this one. What?! Mom, I don't think I can pull this off alone. What's going on here? I found this one out of her cell. I was just gonna take her back. Oh. No need. I got her.