Forget Me Mutt

(episode starts with the grand opening of the Petropolis Monotrail; trains run through the network's tubes; scene cuts to a monorail train driving through one of the tubes; Dudley sticks his head out of the window to feel the breeze)

Dudley: (sticking his tongue out) "WOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO! This new Petropolis Monotrail is AWESOME!"

(inside the cabin; Kitty and The Chief are seated)

The Chief: (jumping up and down on the seat) "Oh, it's the flea's knees! I haven't gotten around town this fast since I lived on that cheetah."

(a bug flies into Dudley's snout)

Dudley: "NGUEAAAAAAH! Bug up the nose!"

(seated behind Kitty and The Chief, Keswick is dry heaving)

Kitty: "Keswick, are you alright?" (turns around)

Keswick: (nauseous) "Not really. I'm prone to mah-mah-motion sickness-" (turns green-faced, pulls out jar of mayonnaise) "-and that jar of warm mayonnaise I ate isn't helping." (dry heaves, turns purple-faced)

(cut to a monotrail station: people are waiting in line; Snaptrap, Larry, Francisco and Ollie arrive, holding helium balloons) 

Snaptrap: "The grand opening of the new Petropolis Monotrail! And it never would have happened without mee!"

Larry: "What did you do?"

Snaptrap: (enthusiastic) "I blew up the old Petropolis Monotrail! Then I burned down the library, and robbed a hospital." (giddy) "That was a super fun weekend! Sterile gauze, anyone?"

(Snaptrap walks over, ready to board a train)

Boarding Officer: (points to Bad-o-meter) "You must be at least this good to ride the monotrail."

(as Snaptrap is about to walk past the checkpoint the Bad-o-meter buzzes; "BAD" is displayed on its screen)

Bad-o-meter: (female voice; buzzes) "Reject. Reject. Reject."

Snaptrap: "Hey! You sound like my mom."

(trap door opens below Snaptrap and his gang; they fall down through a chute and into a dumpster; above, the train Dudley is in arrives at the monotrail station; Dudley is directly above the trap door opening and can hear Snaptrap through the chute)

Snaptrap: (disembodied) "This is depressing. Hey! I know what would cheer me up! Let's destroy the monotrail again... (Snaptrap's voice echoes "monotrail again" twice)

Dudley: (listening, suspicious) "Kitty, did you hear that?"

Kitty: (covers her ears; irritated) "I can't hear anything with Keswick dry heaving." (turns around; Keswick is dry heaving)

Dudley: "I'm gonna go check somethin' out. I'll meet you guys back at T.U.F.F." (jumps out of window and dives into trap door opening; lands in the dumpster) "YOOW!" (spots Snaptrap and his cronies escape down a manhole; Dudley growls)

(meanwhile, above ground Keswick, Kitty and The Chief are leaving the monotrail station on foot)

Keswick: (green; finishes gulping down from a bottle) "This antacid isn't helping at all."

The Chief: "That's ranch dressing."

Keswick: (shocked, gulps; tries to clear throat)

(cut to D.O.O.M. headquarters in city sewer; Snaptrap and his associates are gathered around a table, sitting on toilet seats)

Snaptrap: "Welcome to our new sewer lair!"

Larry: "Ew, it smells in here."

Snaptrap: (annoyed) "If you think this smells, wait until I flush you into the river of goo." (pulls lever; Larry is flushed down his toilet and into a river of sewage)

Larry: "Aah! Aaaahhh!" (flows downstream)

Snaptrap: "Now, how are we gonna get revenge on those meanies..who wouldn't let us ride the monotrail?" (leans to Francisco) "Francisco?"

Francisco: (smiles) "Uhhh..we could eat 'em?"

Snaptrap: "Okay, that's just dark and disturbing. Anywho, I've got my own plan."

(Dudley has winched himself down into the sewer, Mission Impossible-style; he observes Snaptrap; Snaptrap takes out his plan on paper) 

Snaptrap: (points) "Today at five o'clock, I'm gonna turn this valve.."

Ollie: "Ohh that's brilliant boss! That'll flood the entire monotrail with sewage!"

Snaptrap: "Really? I never thought of that! I just like turning valves at five o'clock. I like pulling levers at six. It's a thing; don't judge me."

Dudley: (hidden; talks into wristcom) "Chief! It's Dudley. Snaptrap is planning to do something awful!"

The Chief: (via wristcom; signal is poor) "You're breaking up! Did you say Snaptrap is planning to do something awful..or something about a flapjack and a falafel?" (static)

Dudley: "I'll take care of this myself. You're goin' down Snaptrap." (accidentally presses the "up" button on his hoist device, sending him up) "Whoops and I'm going up!"

(Dudley is pulled up and back to the surface, outside the monotrail station; as he is yanked out of the manhole, he falls upside down and hits his head on the manhole cover; he is knocked unconscious)

Kitty: (spots him) "Oh no! Dudley is out cold!" (runs)

Keswick: (still sick) "I wish that mayonnaise had been cold."

Kitty: "Dudley said Snaptrap was up to something. Let's get him back to T.U.F.F. and find out what it is." (Keswick walks up to her, about to heave)

 (T.U.F.F. transition to T.U.F.F. headquarters; Kitty, The Chief and Keswick observe Dudley as he lays unconscious on an operating table) 

Keswick: (holds a razor over Dudley's head) "According to my brain scanner, Agent Puppy should come to in exactly fa-fa-three...two...one... NOW!" (everyone is startled) "I said 'NOW!'! Oh wait, this isn't a brain scanner, it's my rah-rah-razor. Should I give him a shave, Chief?"

(Dudley sits up, sounding and looking like The Chief)

Dudley (The Chief): "NO! Just get back to work. I'm the flea's knees! I lived on a cheetah! BLAH BLAH BLAH!" (leaps off the table and hops into the Chief's office, slamming the door behind him)

Kitty: (worried) "What's wrong with Dudley?"

Keswick: "Apparently the bleu-bleh-blow to his head caused some sort of identity transference."

The Chief: (jumps onto Keswick's nose) "But why does he think he's me? Is it because I'm handsome?"

Keswick: "It's because you were the la-last person he talked to before he was knocked unconscious."

(Dudley appears on the monitors; Kitty, Keswick and The Chief are shocked)

Dudley (The Chief): "Agents, I have intel. And I'm really loud! Yell, yell, grumble, grumble, BLAH!" (voices gibberish; monitors cut to static)

The Chief: (still on Keswick's noise, literally fuming) "That's it! I'm gonna clobber him!" (pulls back his suit sleeve)

Keswick: (picks The Chief up by the collar, before he can jump off) "Wait Chief! He's been traumatized. We j-jah..just have to humor him until his memory comes back."

Kitty: (worried) I hope that's soon. Dudley's the only one who knows what Snaptrap is planning." (looks to her right)

(Dudley steps out of The Chief's office, still looking somewhat like The Chief)

Dudley (The Chief): "Agent Katswell, go catch a bad guy with your super awesome partner who does all the work!"

(Kitty glares at him; he then turns to Keswick, who is initially surprised)

Dudley (The Chief): "Keswick, build an overly complicated gadget that comically backfires!"

(Keswick gets annoyed; Dudley hops over to the real Chief, who is standing on the floor)

Dudley (The Chief): "Weird little bug agent, polish my bowling ball!" (drops a bowling ball onto The Chief, crushing him and leaving a crater in the floor) "BLAH CHEETAH!" (leaves)

Kitty: (walks over to The Chief) "Chief! Are you okay?" (holds bowling up to eye level; The Chief is stuck to it, a bit mangled)

The Chief: (paralyzed; speaks weakly) "Please tell me I'm still handsome." (Kitty drops the bowling ball) "Whoa-oh!" (it rolls towards The Chief's door; Dudley abruptly opens the door, slamming The Chief between it and the wall; he yells)

Dudley: (now back to normal) "What happened?" (walks over to Keswick and Kitty, who are a bit confused) "I woke up in The Chief's office. Oh Chief, some bozo broke your tiny chair." (holds out fragments of a broken office chair, in his palm)

Kitty: "Never mind that Dudley." (slaps Dudley -- knocking the chair fragments away -- then grabs him) "You need to tell us what Snaptrap's up to!" (lets Dudley go)

Dudley: "Right! He's up to something terrible." (starts running towards the exit, without looking) "Kitty, we've gotta go!" (trips over the bowling ball and...) "Wwhoa!" (flung upside-down in mid-air towards the right; bounces off the ground for a few strides, hitting his head multiple times and concussing him; he then comes to a stop and falls over, hurt and unconscious)

Keswick: "Ohh no not again." (Kitty is aghast; stands still)

The Chief: (uninjured; to Kitty) "He's your partner! Do something Agent Katswell!" (flings his arms up)

(a strange voice comes from the background; The Chief turns around and to his horror, finds that Dudley looks like Kitty and has a high-pitched voice; Keswick and Kitty frown)

Dudley (Kitty): "Do what Chief? Karate chop bad guys?" (karate chops the ground) "Act like I'm always right?" (mocks Kitty by folding his arms) "Purr when the cute water delivery guy comes?" (imitates Kitty's gestures)

Kitty: (glares defensively) "Uh! I never do that!"

(cut to the Water Delivery Guy as he loads a new tank onto a water cooler)

(He smiles and sparkles; Kitty and Dudley dreamily observe him from a distance; Dudley lets his tongue out and "purrs"; Kitty leans on him, purring and then popping her foot up)

The Chief: (wide-eyed) "Holy cow, that guy's more handsome than me! BLAH CHEETAH! Oh, man, I really DO that!"

Dudley (Kitty): (jumps over to a photocopier) "Paper jam! Super agent Kitty Katswell to the rescue!" (salutes) "Hi-ya!" (chops the copier apart)

 (cut to Kitty's cubicle; telephone rings) 

Dudley (Kitty): "Telephone! Hi-yeeaaah!" (karate chops the phone, breaking it; his tongue flaps) "E-mail!" (karate grunts and destroys Kitty's computer)

Kitty: (infuriated) "I'M GONNA CLOBBER ME! I mean "...HIM!"!" (points to Dudley)

(The Water Delivery Guy walks past; Kitty straightens herself up and poses alluringly) 

Kitty: (flirtatious; holds out a piece of paper) "Here's my number. Call me later after I get my phone fixed." (purrs and wags her tail; the Water Delivery Guy is startled)

(back to normal, Dudley emerges from Kitty's cubicle)

Dudley: "Guys! What happened?" (jumps over to the others; Kitty is still furious) "I woke up in Kitty's cubicle. Kitty, some bozo karate chopped your computer."

The Chief: (Hops toward Dudley) Stop fooling around and figure out what Snaptrap is planning.

Dudley: Okay. (Does his shrade silently by grabbing the banana by pointing to it)

Keswick: Snaptrap's gone nuts? (Dudley shook his head)

The Chief: Snaptrap's gone haywires? (Dudley waves his hands as he drops the banana peel)

Kitty: Ooh ooh! I know I know. Snaptrap's gonna turn this valve! (Dudley points the fingers to Kitty and smiles as she got it right and walks off but he slips by a banana peel and falls onto his head again)

The Chief: Not again!

Kitty: What do you think we should do now, Keswick?