The Countdown Reflection


 * (Howard and Bernadette are in Howard's bedroom.)
 * Howard: Close your eyes. Put out your hand. I got you something special.
 * Bernadette: (she is so fed up and angry) Come on, Howard. I'm not falling for that again.
 * Howard: No, here. (Gives her a small box)
 * Bernadette: (Opens the box and takes out a necklace) Oh, Howie! A little star. It's beautiful. Put it on me.
 * Howard: Okay. But I'm gonna have to get it back from you, so that I can take it to the International Space Station. That way, when I come home, you will have a star that was actually, in space.
 * Bernadette: My God!
 * Howard: Take that, every guy who's ever bought you anything!
 * Bernadette: This is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten.
 * Howard: Really? If you like it that much, close your eyes, and put out your hand.
 * (They start kissing)
 * Mrs Wolowitz: I'M GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET TO GET SOME SNACKS FOR YOUR TRIP. DO YOU WANT ME TO GET THOSE LITTLE BOXES OF FROOT LOOPS YOU LIKE?
 * Howard: No! When I eat Froot Loops, the other astronauts make fun of me! (Slams his bedroom door shut)
 * Bernadette: Howard, I don't want to wait until you get back to get married.
 * Howard: What?
 * Bernadette: I want to be married to you before you get in that rocket.
 * Howard: But I'm leaving in two days.
 * Mrs. Wolowitz: WHAT ABOUT APPLE JACKS?
 * Howard: I DON'T NEED TO TAKE CEREAL!
 * Mrs. Wolowitz: WHAT KIND OF BREAKFAST DO YOU THINK THEY'RE GONNA GIVE YOU IN RUSSIA?
 * Howard: THEY INVENTED !BLINTZES I'LL BE FINE!
 * Mrs. Wolowitz: THEY INVENTED THE LIGHTBULB IN NEW JERSEY, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY HAND THEM OUT TO YOU WHEN YOU GO!
 * Bernadette: We'll have a quick little ceremony with just our friends and we'll still have the big reception with everyone when you get back.
 * Howard: Wow. Okay, let's get married!
 * (They start to make love.)
 * Mrs. Wolowitz: (To Howard) YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL BUY YOU IN CASE YOU GET STOPPED UP IN OUTER SPACE!
 * (Howard and Bernadette are at Sheldon's and Leonard's apartment, announcing to the gang their plans.)
 * Bernadette: So anyway, we decided to go down to City Hall this afternoon, get married and have the reception when Howard gets back.
 * Leonard, Penny, and Raj: That's so cool!
 * Howard: Hey, and we know it's short notice, but we'd love you all to come with us.
 * Amy: No! No! No! This is not the wedding I wanted!
 * (Everyone looks at her awkwardly.)
 * Amy: I want to wear my maid of honor dress and walk down the aisle with a hundred eyes on me while a string quartet plays "The Way You Look Tonight"!
 * Bernadette: That wasn't gonna be our processional music.
 * Amy: Well, it was gonna be mine!
 * Sheldon: Eh, thank you for the invitation, but I have to decline because, it doesn't sound like something I'll enjoy.
 * Leonard: Come on, Sheldon, it'll be fun.
 * Sheldon: That's what you said about the Green Lantern movie. You were 114 minutes of wrong.
 * Bernadette: So, what do you say, Amy?
 * Amy: Can I wear my maid of honor dress?
 * Bernadette: Seriously, you're gonna wear that thing to City Hall?
 * Amy: It's all I have left, you're gonna take that from me too?!


 * (At City Hall, Sheldon and Amy have joined everyone else for Howard and Bernadette's wedding. While Sheldon is feeling bored, Amy is enjoying herself, smiling while wearing her maid of honor dress and her tiara.)
 * Penny: Amy, you look great.
 * Amy: I know.
 * (Raj comes back with a beer wrapped up in paper.)
 * Leonard: Where did you get a beer?
 * Raj: From that happy young couple over there with all the tattoos. Beautiful story: they're in rival drug gangs, and they're getting married. Shhh: no one can know.
 * Amy: (To Sheldon) Look at all these people in love. Kinda gets ya thinking doesn't it?
 * Sheldon: It does indeed. (To Leonard) Leonard. Is it awkward being here with Penny given that you recently proposed to her?
 * Howard: (To Leonard) You proposed to Penny?
 * Leonard: I don't wanna talk about it.
 * Raj: (To Penny) Where did he pop the question, what did you say?!
 * Leonard: She said no, can we drop it now?
 * Penny: It wasn't a real proposal.
 * Bernadette: Why wasn't it a real proposal?
 * Sheldon: (To Bernadette) He asked her during coitus.
 * (Raj looks shocked.)
 * Howard: Did you get down on one knee or were you already there?
 * Bernadette: (she is now very cross) Howard, don't talk like that on your wedding day.
 * Howard: Sorry, Ma...Bernadette...ma Bern...your ma Bernadette!
 * Penny: (To Leonard) Good move telling Sheldon.
 * Leonard: Wha...I can't propose, I can't talk to my friends, is there anything else I'm not allowed to do?
 * Amy: All right, that's enough. Today is not about you two. Today is about Howard and Bernadette, and Me.
 * (City Hall clerk comes out into the hallway.)
 * Minister: Folks, could I have your attention, it's 5 o'clock, we're gonna be able to take 3 more couples, the rest of you will have to come back on Monday!
 * (All the couples begin leave, while the gang feels devastated.)
 * Bernadette: Oh no.
 * Howard: I've got this. (Walks up to minister) Excuse me, but is there any way you could squeeze us in? See, I'm an astronaut and, I'm leaving for Russia on Sunday so I can take a Soyuz rocket to the International Space Station.
 * Minister: Yeah. Me too, I'll see you there.
 * (Howard feels confused about the fact that she doesn't believe him.)
 * Bernadette: I can't believe we're not gonna get married.
 * Amy: (To Bernadette) Excuse me, I'm just gonna go see if the couple at the front of the line needs a maid of honor.
 * (Amy dashes up to the front of the line, while Bernadette is left alone on the bench.)


 * (The gang is at the Cheesecake Factory bar, after Howard's and Bernadette's unsuccessful attempt to get married at City Hall.)
 * Howard: You know we could always drive to Vegas and get married.
 * Bernadette: I don't know, isn't that kind of tacky?
 * Penny: Hey I know tons of people who got married in Vegas.
 * Bernadette: Are any of them still married?
 * Penny: Yeah! I mean, not to the same people, but...
 * Bernadette: There's gotta be some place special we can do it.
 * Sheldon: Leonard. Where did you envision marrying Penny?
 * Leonard: Will you shut up!
 * Raj: Well, I know how to make it special.
 * Howard: I told you we are not recreating the wedding from .
 * Raj: Yes, you made that brutally clear to me. What I was going to suggest was is if you are willing to wait until Sunday morning, the Google satellite will be right over Pasadena you could have your wedding photographed from space.
 * (Everyone awes at the idea.)
 * Leonard: That's so cool.
 * Howard: Oh, way to go, Raj.
 * Raj: I keep telling you, if I wasn't an astrophysicist, I would have been a party planner. (Leonard smiles in approval) It was always a coin flip.
 * Howard: Okay, so we know we're gonna do it Sunday morning, now we need to find a good place for the satellite to see us.
 * Leonard: How about our roof?
 * Bernadette: Oh, I love that.
 * Howard: That's great.
 * Amy: My gosh. I can't believe my maid of honor dress is gonna be on !
 * Howard: So we have the where and the when, but we still need to figure out who's gonna do the ceremony.
 * Penny: Well, that's easy, anyone can go online and get ordained as a minister I know a piercing parlor where for a hundred bucks, they'll marry you and stick a wedding ring through any body part you want.
 * Bernadette: All right, well, who's it gonna be?
 * Sheldon: I'll do it, provided I can perform the ceremony in Klingon.
 * Bernadette: No.
 * Sheldon: (To Howard) What do you see in her?


 * (It is Howard and Bernadette's wedding day, and the guys are getting ready.)
 * Howard: Hey, guys, before I forget, I got you a little groomsmen present (reaches into a bag).
 * Raj: Oh, thanks, man.
 * Leonard: Oh, you didn't have to do that.
 * (Howard gives them their gifts.)
 * Howard: Fantastic Four annual no. 3 from 1965 in mint-condition. The one where Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Girl get married.
 * Leonard: Oh, wow.
 * Sheldon: Oh, dear. I was afraid of this.
 * Howard: What?
 * Sheldon: While a thoughtful gift, this comic book in this condition is worth at least a hundred dollars.
 * Howard: Yeah, so?
 * Sheldon: I bought you and Bernadette a gravy boat worth eighty-eight dollars. Which places me in your debt and, I can't be in your debt because someday you might ask me to help you move. Or, to kill a man.
 * Leonard: I'll doubt he'll ask you to kill a man.
 * Sheldon: Well, what if it's his only way out? I can't risk it. (To Howard) Here is twelve dollars. Nowhere even a no...ba...no...ba...wait. I bought a card, give me two dollars. (To Leonard) Eh, for the record this is why I hate gift giving.


 * (Howard goes over to Penny's apartment and knocks.)
 * Amy: Who is it?
 * Howard: It's the groom.
 * (Amy partly opens the door.)
 * Amy: You can't come in. Bad luck to see the bride.
 * Howard: Ok, eh, fine, eh, BERNIE I HAVE TO GO PICK UP MY MOTHER I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
 * Bernadette: WHY CAN'T SHE DRIVE HERSELF?
 * Howard: SHE DOESN'T WANNA SIT IN HER DRESS AND WRINKLE IT, SO I'M GONNA LAY HER DOWN IN THE BACK OF MY NEIGHBOR'S VAN!
 * Bernadette: ALL RIGHT, JUST HURRY!
 * Howard: OK, I'LL SEE YA LATER, MA...UH...LOVELY BRIDE TO BE! (Howard leaves) I really gotta watch that.


 * (Everyone is preparing for the wedding up on the roof of the apartment block.)
 * Leonard: Come on, Raj, we're ready to start.
 * Raj: We're ready, when I say we're ready. Da Da Da, Oh (fixes Howard's bow tie) Okay, now we're ready.
 * Howard: MA, YOU WANNA MOVE YOUR CHAIR OVER HERE, SO YOU CAN SEE?!
 * Mrs. Wolowitz: I'M FINE WHERE I AM, I DON'T WANNA FALL OFF THE ROOF!
 * Howard: YOU'LL FALL THROUGH THE ROOF BEFORE YOU'LL FALL OFF IT!
 * Raj: Penny.
 * (Penny starts the music as Mr. Rostenkowski gives Bernadette away.)
 * Mr. Rostenkowski: Your new mother-in-law's a piece of work.
 * Bernadette: Not now, Dad.
 * Mr. Rostenkowski: She's got a bigger mustache than me. (To Howard) Here you go.
 * Bernadette: Here you go? What am I? A football?
 * (Bernadette takes Howard as her father shakes Howard's hand and leaves.)
 * Mr. Rostenkowski: (cries) Like that guy could catch a football!
 * Raj: Howard and Bernadette, the five of us stand before you as your friends and newly ordained ministers.
 * Mrs. Wolowitz: LOUDER!
 * Bernadette: (shouts in her loudest voice to Mrs. Wolowitz) THEY ALL GOT ORDAINED! THEY'RE ALL MARRYING US, IT'S ADORABLE, YOU WANNA HEAR IT, COME CLOSER!
 * Raj: Please, guys. When I look at the two of you starting your lives together it fills...my...heart...(starts to sob) it fills my hear...(starts sobbing)...ok, I'm gonna need a minute.
 * Penny: Okay, I'll, I'll go. Howard and Bernadette. I know you two planned on getting married in a big fancy wedding, but when you’re in love in doesn’t matter where or how these things happen. It just matters that you have each other.
 * Leonard: Hmm.
 * Penny: Problem?
 * Leonard: No.
 * Sheldon: I think the Reverend Hofstadter is making an ironic connection between your statement about love and your rejection of his proposal in the bedroom.
 * Penny: (To Leonard) Oh, grow up!
 * Leonard: I didn’t say it.
 * Amy: That’s enough from the both of you!
 * Penny: Well, he started it!
 * Amy: Well, I’m ending it! Bernadette, I want to thank you for allowing me to be your maid of honor. I also wanted you to know that I will be happy to do it again if this marriage craps out.
 * (Everyone leans over and stares at Amy.)
 * Leonard: Thank you, Amy. Very touching. Howard and Bernadette. You are lucky enough to be best friends who love each other and that’s the strongest kind of love because at its core, it has kindness, patience and respect. Qualities that are hard to find in people these days.
 * Sheldon: (to Penny) Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned. Alright, my turn. Howard. Bernadette. (Starts speaking in Klingon)
 * Bernadette: (She shouts to Sheldon angrily) Sheldon! I told you no Klingon!
 * Sheldon: Fine, I’ll do it in English, but it loses something. The need to find another human being to share one’s life with, has always puzzled me. Maybe because I am so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may you find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own. (This comment gets Amy a little upset.) The Klingon would have made you cry.
 * Raj: I believe you two have prepared vows.
 * Bernadette: Howard Joel Wolowitz, like you this is going to be short and sweet. I love you with all my heart and soul and promise to be with you forever.
 * (Puts the wedding ring on Howard's finger.)
 * Howard: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski.
 * Mrs. Wolowitz: SPEAK UP!
 * Howard: HEY, FROM NOW ON SHE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN YELL AT ME! (To Bernadette) Until I met you I couldn’t imagine spending my life with just one person. And now I can’t imagine spending one day of it without you.
 * (Howard puts the ring on Bernadette's finger.)
 * Ministers: By the power invested in us by the state of California.
 * Sheldon: ...and the Klingon High Council...
 * (Bernadette glares at Sheldon crossly for one last second as if she's fed up with the mention of Klingon)
 * Ministers: ..we now pronounce you husband and wife!
 * (Bernadette and Howard passionately kiss, as the view soon zooms out of their wedding, out of Pasadena until a view of the whole planet Earth can be seen.)


 * (Back in present-day Russia, the Rocket starts ignition.)
 * Mike: That's ignition. I LOVE THIS PART!
 * Dimitri: ME TOO!
 * Howard: I HAVE STRONGLY MIXED FEELINGS!
 * (Back in Pasadena, the guys are watching the launch.)
 * Bernadette: Oh, my God, it's happening.
 * (Penny arrives just in time from work.)
 * Penny: Did I miss it?
 * Leonard: No, come on in, hurry.
 * (Penny sits down, as countdown starts.)
 * Bernadette: I love that man.
 * Raj: Me too.
 * (Bernadette holds Raj's hand.)
 * Penny: I can't believe it. This whole time a small part of me thought he was lying.
 * (Penny holds Leonard's hand.)
 * Leonard: This is it.
 * Sheldon: Boldly go, Howard Wolowitz.
 * (Sheldon holds Amy's hand, much to her surprise.)
 * (Everyone is holding hands as the countdown finishes and the rocket blasts off into space.)
 * Howard: OY VEY!


 * Sheldon: Remarkable. In just under a half hour, 200 metric tons of fuel will ignite in a controlled explosion right beneath Howard’s keister. And all from a country whose entire contribution to the global economy, has been Tetris and mail-order brides.