Who's da New King of Hell?

1 Hey! Ha-ha, hey! Double trouble! Whoa! Do what you like Doing it nat'rally But if it's too easy They're gonna disagree It's your life And isn't it a mystery If it's nobody's bus'ness It's everybody's game Gotta catch you later M-m-m-man, it makes me feel good Some Cinderella kid I'm, I'm alright Nobody worry 'bout me Why you got to gimme a fight? Can't you just let it be? I'm alright Don't nobody worry 'bout me You got to gimme a fight Why don't you just let me be I'm alright, I'm alright I'm alright - Just let me be - Everybody let me be Morning, detective. Hm, you're in a good mood. Well, the world will not be destroyed because I forgave myself, so I'd say that's a pretty darn good day for me and all mankind for that matter, so you're welcome. So, um it's all totally gone? The red skin, the devil wings. No more flare-ups? It's not hemorrhoids, detective. Right, yeah, sorry. I just don't know how the whole thing works just yet, but Maybe you should take some time off, rest up until you feel yourself again. That won't be necessary. I've never felt better. Besides, Kinley's still on the loose. The US Marshals are in charge of the search now, so nothing left to do on our end. What about a case then? There must be a jolly good murder to solve. No, no. So like I said, maybe you should take a moment, recover. You know, you've been through a lot. Alright. Well, call me if anything pops up. Or falls down, rather. Okay. Yeah, I will, but I've got it covered. - Right. - Yeah, all good. Eve! Will you let me in? Is that Maze? - What are you doing here? - Well, I live here. Right. What are you doing? Can you open the door? I have to get Kinley back to jail. It was a mistake letting him out. Open the freaking door, Eve! Hey. What's up? Where's Kinley? Oh. Right. He left. What happened? He attacked me. It was so scary. He's this big, scary bearded, priest man I went down to unchain him, you know, so he can go to the bathroom and he tried choking me. Look, see? - I'll go get him. - No! Why not? Well, because I realize I don't need him anymore. You know, I thought about what you said. I need to accept that, erm Lucifer doesn't have any feelings for me. Well, good for you. Wait Are you okay? I thought you were on my side. I was. Now just you've got to support the head. - Come say hello to Uncle Lucy! - Ah! Yeah. Okay er - I'll just go on and see Linda now. - Uh. Hey, wait. Hey, I - I wanted to talk to you about something. - Oh yes. Okay, you see, recently, I've made a decision about my son. And even though, in my heart I I believe it's right I know it's gonna be painful. Oh, right, that. Well, 79% of American boys are circumcised, so he'll be in the majority if you do, however, it does reduce sensation by about 32. 8%, according to Dr. Oz. But just weigh up the options, Snip it or skip it, I'm sure it'll be dandy. Lucy Goodbye. Yeah. See ya. Silver City, here we come. Oh, no, no. You're not doing that to my son. Well, I'm sorry, but it is mandatory. Every newborn gets an infant tracker. - Excuse me, a what? - It's a security device. It's a little anklet that causes a ruckus if anyone takes him from the ward. So you can rest assured that your little angel is safe and sound. Come on. Hi! It's okay. Lucifer you shouldn't have. But thank you. I'm sure Charlie will - love it - It's not for the baby. No, it's for you. It's Sigmund Freud's personal journal. It's just a small token to commemorate the end of my therapy. Wait, what? Sorry, buried the lead. I'm cured. Isn't that wonderful? - Aha. - Yeah, you see, I've forgiven myself. And you know, since you had a small hand in that, I thought credit where credit's due. Thank you, doctor. And you know you're cured because? Well, because I've got all my devil bits under control again. See? Alabaster from head to toe. What does Chloe think about all this? She thinks I might need a little R&R, but overall, I'd say she's as pleased as I am. Anyway, I guess that's it. Oh, enjoy your child. Have him ring me when he's old enough to go to strip clubs. I have to tell you. Forgiving yourself it's not as easy as you think. It doesn't happen overnight. If you were still my therapist, I might listen to you. - No, you wouldn't. - But since you're not Mm bye-bye. Okay, listen up. It's your boy, Holla Bae, live. And I'm about to shock the hell out of all of ya. I've got a guest coming up into the studio. You know him. And you hate him. No, I'm playing. I'm playing. Y'all love him. I used to hate him. But we're going to make an announcement about my tour kicking off tomorrow night at The Mayan and we're going to end all that. Me and this dude had some real trouble in the past. But we're going to squash all of that now. Stop beefing. And let's start getting to this money! You ready for the love? Hm. Gnarly, right? Where's Holla's body? No idea. The killer must have taken it. Hence the big old bloody shoe prints. - That's a lot of blood. - About five pints. This, my friends, is a class four hemorrhage. So wherever Holla is, he dead. I know who did it. - You do? - Yeah. Based on what Holla said in that video. The guy coming over was obviously going to be - Monopolize. - Monopolize, exactly. Who's that? You've never heard of the Mo-Holla squalla? - Uh-uh. - Well, he's a rapper. - Monopolize. - Yeah. "Mo, Monopolize, Don't apologize. Mo, monopolize, Don't ask me for my size. " "You'll appreciate me when I'm in your mother-effing thighs. " - Nothing, huh? - I've never, no. He accused him of killing his BFF, Fat Cannon. Nothing's ever been proven, but still, biggest beef since Biggie and Tupac. Oh. Yeah. Detective! Detective! Why didn't you call me? I told you, you need a break. I told you everything is under control. For now. But how do you know it won't come back? It won't. Trust me. Look, I promise you'll never have to see anything monstrous ever again. Okay. Lifestyles of the rich and tasteless. Looks like Liberace had a yard sale. Yeah. Well, Mo's manager, Isaac, lives here. Looks like he's home. Maybe Mo's here too. What are you doing? Don't worry, detective. Now that everything's sorted, I've all the perks of devilhood with no drawbacks. So rest assured, nothing evil will be released. Hell! LAPD! Stand down! LAPD? Why didn't you say so? Yeah, before you broke my goddamn gate, y'all. I apologize for shooting at you. Seriously. I'm not a violent man. Well, the Desert Eagle that you just opened up on us says differently. Hot pocket? Oh, no thank you. Look, Holla and I had conflict. But we were about to bury the hatchet, supposed to meet up this morning to announce we're dropping a joint album and tour. Instead, he was the one who got dropped. Come on, Mo. You tell them what you told me. Speak the truth, bro. Sorry, look, this is going to sound crazy, but Holla isn't actually dead. Well, that's impossible. Forensic says he's dead. I don't care what they say. I'm telling you, I was walking to the studio and I see a man dressed in leather in the doorway. I see his hands are all bloody, so I back up quick. Then a few seconds later, Holla comes out, all bloody and shit with a knife sticking out of his chest. - He was happy as a goddamn lamb. - Clam. It's clam, bro. And tell them what you told me about the car. That's pretty whack too, right? Didn't you say they got in a pizza delivery car or some shit? Yeah, yeah. Pazo Papollo's Pizza. Right. Puff a bit of this before you left, did you? A little bit. But I swear I ain't lying. We're going to need you to come down to the station to verify your story. Gladly. Safer there than out here. Hey, guys. So I've been monitoring social media for any mention of Holla, and a fan just posted this. Check it out looks like Monopolize was telling the truth. - Yeah. - Can you see, "Hashtag fake death," "Hashtag publicity stunt. " What? So the whole thing's a hoax? No murder? Does that mean case closed then? We've still got to find Holla. - He's got some explaining to do - No, yes. Yep, correct. Case closed. So you should probably head home, Lucifer, because no victim, no case. Oh, very well. I suppose there'll be another murder tomorrow. Fingers crossed. Holla? Holla Bae? Father Kinley? - Chloe. - Maze. What are you doing here? I was tracking Kinley. Thought for sure he'd be here, but now the trail's gone cold. Now you. I'm on a case. A dead rapper. Well, not dead now, it seems. But a witness told us this crazy story that he saw the victim with a knife in his chest. - I've no idea what's going on. - Wait Dead, then not dead? I think I do. Lucifer! Lucifer. Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer. Oh! Oh! We've missed you so damn much. Oh. Mm! Put me down! Forgive me, my king. Hey. It's just so great to see you. Dromos? You see, Squee? I told you he'd recognize me. But what are you doing here? We're here for you, of course. To help you get back home. So you're saying there are two murderous demons on the loose in Los Angeles? Yeah. And one appears to have entered Kinley's body. And they, or you can just jump into a human's body whenever you want? No. The body has to belong to a dead, doomed soul or a demon wouldn't know where or when there was a recent vacancy. So someone killed Kinley. At least I don't have to worry about him hurting Lucifer anymore. No. But whatever demon's taken over his body better be worried. Lucifer's going to be pissed. He banned possession years ago. Well, something's clearly changed. So there I am, hanging in hell popping out eyeballs like any other Tuesday, and this priest he just shows up on my docket. Is this one of those "priest walks into a bar" jokes? I love them. Dude was boring. I mean, all he kept saying was, "Prophecy this, prophecy that. I've got a stupid accent. Makes me sound like a pirate. Argh!" Anyway, he says that he needs help getting you back to hell, so of course Dromos, ever loyal I did not hesitate. I came straight here to answer your call. Of course. This is Kinley's hail Mary. His final attempt to subvert the prophecy by tricking me into returning. Voluntarily! Well, it's an admirable plan, but he needn't have bothered. I've just beaten the prophecy on my own. Besides no way in hell I'd ever return to well, you know Lucifer. You've been on vacation forever. You didn't write, you didn't call. You didn't even send a burnt offering. The demons of Hell they need a king. Very well. Dromos of the Lilim, by the power of Grayskull, blah-di-blah-di-blah, I hereby name you King of Hell. There you go. Throne's all yours. Yeah, that's really funny. But we all know that the king he needs to be an angel. Fair point, yeah. Lucifer. Hell has been really bad since you left. Oh, that's a shame, because it was a real vacation destination before. What's so great about Earth, anyway? Well, no offense, but the company's far greater, the work more interesting and the liquor far superior. Mm! And I've just become an uncle and someone needs to teach my nephew about sex, because my brother's certainly not capable. So. Back to hell you go, it seems. Those eyeballs won't pop themselves out. Alright. I think we might stay for a little bit. I've never tortured a live one. You will not lay a hand on anyone. You're lucky I haven't incinerated you already for disobeying my orders. No more possession. Time for all good demons to go home. Now. Yes my lord. What is that? Arias of the humpback whale. Isn't it amazing? And perfect for a nice, relaxing bath, which I've just drawn you, so if you wouldn't mind handing little Charlie over to me You know, I'm good. Thank you though. Okay. Linda, you'll have to put him down at some point. Your arms will atrophy. I suppose you're right. I could use a nap. Or maybe I should feed him again. Or get him another blanket. Or take this blanket off. How do you know what temperature babies like when they can't talk? Okay, I admit I could be being a little bit helicopter-y, but I mean, I just I just love him so much. I just spent so much time worrying. But you were right. We've got this. And we're going to give him a beautiful life, aren't we? Yeah. Here we go, dada. Okay. Oh, you know what? I almost forgot. I hired a night nurse. Her name's Kim and she'll be here any minute. So we can both get some rest. Yeah. Come on, bub-bub. Lucifer! Am I dreaming? No, I can't be, you're both dressed. We've got a situation. Demons are roaming the Earth. Oh, is that all? Well, I already know. I saw them earlier. It seems Kinley summoned them to take me back to Hell. His last-ditch attempt to squash the prophecy. But don't worry, crisis averted. I sent them packing. And besides, the demons in question, Dromos and Squee, hardly the brightest bulbs in the hellfire chandelier. I hate those two. Especially Squee. Well, everyone hates Squee. Anyway, I'm getting my knives. In case those two idiots get lost on their way home. You do that. Lucifer, what if we're wrong? What if we're wrong about the prophecy and "evil shall be released" really means that demons are going to be running around? You know, may Maybe you should leave town until we figure this out. I assure you, there's no need for me to flee and how did Maze rope you into this, anyway? I ran into her. Sort of. Following a lead about Kinley. Without me? Yeah. I was afraid. Of what he might trigger in you. Afraid he might turn me back into a monster. Yes. Er, no. There's no need for you to explain. I get it. Perhaps you should leave, detective. I mean, you never know what might be triggered. We need to go to Linda's. Now. Linda! What happened? Charlie He's He's gone. I just questioned Kim Fisher, the night nurse Linda was expecting. Turns out she never made it to the house. Agency called her, said the family canceled last minute. And no-one's heard from Amenadiel yet? But there's still no reason to believe he doesn't have the baby, right? Yeah, I'm sure there's a totally reasonable explanation for why he's been gone for hours, without answering his phone. I'm going to call Chloe. No, I didn't call the agency, so that means, - Amenadiel probably did. - Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure Amenadiel canceled the nurse, because he wanted to spend some more time with the baby. And then Charlie probably got fussy and and and he didn't want to wake me. And, erm so he probably took him for a ride in the car. I'm sure they're somewhere safe and sound, right? - Yeah, right. - Um Linda there's something I think I need to tell you. The good news is I think you're right, I think Amenadiel has the child safe. The bad news is I think it's my least favorite place. Heaven. Are you trying to tell me that Charlie is Oh, no! No, no. Of course not. That baby is half-angel. He can come and go from heaven freely. He just needs someone to bring him. So Amenadiel took our baby from me? To live in heaven? I'll kill him. I am so sorry, Linda. I should have gleaned Amenadiel's intentions earlier. He tried to tell me in the hospital and I thought we were talking about turtle necks versus crew necks. But if it's any consolation, I do think Amenadiel is simply trying to keep Charlie safe. Hey. How could you? You go back and get him! You go back! - What? I never took Charlie - You heard. Right now! Wait, wait. - Wait a minute. He's not here? - No. - Because you took him up there. - No, Linda, I swear I didn't. Look, I was going to, but then I I couldn't. What you said to me right before you went to sleep, I I was just so confused, and I just needed to clear my head, so I decided to go for a long walk. But I handed Charlie to the night nurse. The nurse never came to the house, Amenadiel. What? Yes. Yes, she was. She was rocking Charlie to sleep when I left. Is that the woman you handed Charlie off to? No. No, that's not her. Hey, Chloe. We tracked the call to the agency. The one canceling the nurse. Phone is registered to a Lyla Claybourne. SWAT is on their way to her apartment. Okay. Will you send a photo of Lyla? I want to confirm with Amenadiel it's the same person that took the baby. Of course. Hey, Chloe, could you tell Linda and Amenadiel that everyone here is praying for them pulling for them. Okay? Okay, thanks. Ella, are you okay? Hey I hope you know that I'm here for you. You're not alone. See, that's just it. I never used to feel alone. Because I always had the big guy. I really miss him. I was just so mad. So mad after you know, Charlotte. I've been mad too. Really mad. It's just so much. - Yeah. - But I don't think it's right for me to base my faith on whether everything is good and unicorns and ice cream. I don't think it's God's job to stop the bad. I actually think he's there to give us the strength to get through it. Amenadiel That's her. That's Lyla? That's who's got Charlie? Detective, I saw her last night in Lux. I think I know who has the baby. Shh. You're such a little cutie. I'm going to teach you so much. Yes, I am. Everything I know. Shh. That's right, my little angel. Who's da new king of Hell? Yes, you are. That's right. Can you say "Lucifer who?" Lucifer who? Shh. SWAT just cleared Lyla's apartment. What about Lyla? She's not there either. But there is a big pool of blood in the bedroom. Another blood pool without a body. I still can't find any connection between Kinley, Holla Bae or Lyla Claybourne. Maybe Kinley brainwashed the other two, like he did that Los Xs guy, remember? That's a really weird, weird choice in new minions, but yeah, maybe. And maybe we'll get a hit on the APB we put out. Detective a word. Excuse me. Detective, another blood pool with no body means another demon. Yeah. Should we just tell Dan and Ella the truth about who or what these cadavers really are? I mean, the more teammates playing the real game, the better, right? No. They'll never believe us. I mean, not unless I show them, and you certainly know how long it takes to recover, or not recover, from that. Yes. Back at the penthouse, I was trying to tell you that I'm not Detective, I can't believe I'm saying this, but there are more important things than me right now. Okay. Then we need to figure out why demon Kinley and his crew would take Charlie. Well, it's clearly all about me. I ordered them to go home, they got angry, and they're doing this to get back at me. How do we find three demons and a baby? Uh three demons and a baby? That's one of my favorite movies. - Not as good as the original though. - So true, so true. Why don't we go back to my penthouse where we can strategize freely? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dromos, what are you doing here? Did you find Lucifer? Have you convinced him to go back to Hell? How did you find me? I used a Find My Phone app. Because you still have my phone. Remember? The one I gave you to give me updates on. The one you are not answering. Ah. Yeah, it makes sense. Want some wine? No! I don't want wine. I want to know what you've been up to. - Have you even spoken to Lucifer yet? - Yeah. Well, didn't go so well. Well, yeah, he can be stubborn. - Maybe we can talk to him together. - No. Change of plans. Dromos I think we've got enough. - We're ready for The Mayan. - Who are you? Dromos, this stupid thing won't shut up. Can I cut its tongue out? No. You may not. What's going on? Like I said. Change of plans. Look, I summoned you here to get Lucifer, not terrorize some poor, innocent child. You listen to me. I I command you Stop talking! I don't take orders from you. You are not our king. Speaking of, we don't need Lucifer anymore. Or you, for that matter. No news from my brother or Maze. Perhaps I should get them here as well. Lucifer! They did this. Vile demons, trying to get back at me with aimless destruction. This wasn't aimless. They were searching for something. Detective, my safe's open. What? Is anything missing? It doesn't appear so. Cash is all here. Oh, no. The vial's gone. Kinley's vial? You kept that? I didn't think it was something I could just toss down the drain. I was going to chuck it out with our spent batteries. What would they want with the vial? They're not trying to get back at me. They're trying to replace me. How could they possibly do that? Hell was built so that no demon could take control of the throne. Only a celestial could rule. An angel. But I suppose half an angel would do. Baby Charlie. Since I refused to return, it seems they're intent on raising their own king. Luce, thank God you're here. Something awful's Not now, Eve! We are dealing with our own situation. It's about Kinley. Or at least the body formerly known as Kinley anyway. What do you know about that? I was the one who broke him out of jail. Yeah. And then he attacked me, so I, well I killed him. And then I kind of, sort of summoned a demon from Hell into his body. What? It seemed like a good idea at the time. I thought maybe he could convince you that the prophecy was nonsense. But he wouldn't budge and then he gave me this idea that maybe if I could get you out of here, back to Hell, that everything would be good again. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. - Especially not that poor little baby. - That's my nephew, Eve. Eve, how could you do this? How could you be so selfish? Naive? Where's the baby now, Eve? I don't know. I don't know. They were in a church and they knocked me out, and by the time I came to, they were gone. Okay. Alright, if they took the vial, they're probably planning on performing the same ceremony - that Kinley was going to perform on - On me? - Yes. - So come on, tell us, detective, once you'd served up this holy, anointed sedative, where was this ceremony to take place, back when you wanted me in Hell? Well, as you know, I didn't go through with it. I know he mentioned a church. Great. There's what, only 2, 3,000 of those in LA? He said specifically that it had to be a house of worship, but also a den of sin. One of the demons mentioned something about one of those old civilizations. Aztec? Or Inca? Do you think they could be going to one of those ancient temples where they used to have human sacrifices? - Love him. - Listen. I used to hate him. But we're going to make an announcement about my tour kicking off tomorrow night at The Mayan. The Mayan, that's it! Okay, it's a venue. Rents to concerts and also I think, church groups. Sex, drugs, rock and roll and my dad. That sounds like the oxymoronic venue we're after. It's going to be empty and available, especially since Holla isn't playing there tonight. You stay here. You've done enough. But If I wanted to hear screaming, I would have stayed home. He's just a hungry boy. Idiot. It's way too hot. We don't want to burn our itty-bitty new king. Just let it cool. He's just not used to the heat. Yet. Yeah. Shh. Anything I need to know about how to fight a demon? Not really. Just that they're super strong, scary and mean. Like Maze. Except these don't feel pain, because they're only renting their bodies. - Right. - Good news is they're killable. Just requires a little extra oomph. But you don't worry about that since you're not going inside. Oh, yes, I am. Demons or no demons, there's no way I'm not helping. Need I remind you, detective, it is less helpful if you're there. You make me vulnerable, remember? But I don't. Eve. - You're supposed to be at the penthouse. - Right. But I needed to apologize for all of it. And everything I've put you through. But I realized you're not this perfect guy I've made you out to be. You suck at apologies. What I mean is I thought I wanted you, but I realized I've just been missing the person I used to be when I was with you. I hope you find what you want, Eve, but I really wish you'd had this epiphany before you let demons loose on Los Angeles. You and me both. Look, I understand that there's nothing I can do to make up for what I've done. But I'm going to have to try, so that's why there's nothing you can do to stop me from going in there. Very well. We'll just have to wait for my brother and Maze to arrive. What are you doing here? Yes, Lucifer told us what you did. Put your claws away. There's no time for that. We need all the help we can get. Mm. Ha! Just right. Dromos! Surely you've heard breast is best. Now, you see the thing is I don't take orders from you anymore. Not since the whole abdication thing. So long live King Charlie. He's going to be a hell of a ruler. Pun intended. Because I am going to mold him into exactly what I want. You know, you've got to admit you've been a bit of a selfish king. Keeping the whole Earth thing to yourself. Give me my son! Over my dead body. Oh, that's right. It's already dead, so you're going to have to get creative. Come, my king. Ah! I wouldn't come any closer if I were you. You are going to pay, Dromos. Really? My money's on me, pal. You're getting soft. Getting all mushy with the humans. It's disgusting. You're quite good at that these days. Go. Run. Run! Run! Shh, shh. That was amazing. Got her. There's no-one left, Dromos. Party's over. I think it's time you went home. Make me. Very well. Oh, look who's here. Shit. Detective, what are you doing? I'm sorry, I know I sh It sounded like everything was okay. I just want to make sure. Are you alright? You need to leave, detective. I know I make you vulnerable. No, that's not it. I don't want you to see me like this. I know it scares you. No, that's that's what I was trying to tell you. I'm not I'm not afraid of you anymore. You're not? You see, this is what I'm talking about. It's so sweet. I'm going to puke. Then why've you been so worried? Worried about my face, about all of it coming back. I wasn't afraid of you. I was afraid of losing you. That all this will take over, you'll forget about this place and And that you'd forget about me. Lucifer I It's amazing how many demon souls you can source from a little church confession. Help! Lucifer! No! Enough! You'll bow down to your king. You do not belong here. Go home! Eve! My boy. I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Not that I care. I know that's not true. I think you care a lot. I've just been too blind to notice. Yeah, I thought there was something between us, but Maze you're not delusional. There is a connection. But I've realized the way I've been acting with Lucifer is the exact same way I've acted with Adam. You know, I keep trying to change myself to be this person I think they want me to be. I would never ask you to change, Eve. I like who you are. I don't even know who that is yet. I need to figure that out. I'm going to need to do that on my own. You were right. He's not safe. You need to take him. No. No one will sacrifice themselves for this baby the way that you were just willing to do. No one will protect him like we will. So, Charlie is back with Linda and Amenadiel. So you know, it's over. Isn't it? Is it over? I'd say yes, detective, but I'd be lying. And we both know I don't do that. Tonight we won, but we just plugged one hole in a very flimsy boat. Now the demons know I've no intention of returning, they'll continue to defy me. It's only a matter of time before they come back to Earth. Who knows where next? Or maybe they'll just come back for Charlie or maybe you. I see. So what what are you saying? I have to go back. So for how long? Like a couple a couple of weeks or a month or You were right. About the prophecy. We did get it wrong. It is about Hell coming to Earth, and we may have stopped it now, but for how long? I need to keep them contained. They must have a king. No. No, no. No, see, this is This is what I meant, Lucifer, when I You can't leave me. Listen, I'm so sorry that how I acted when I first saw your face, I It was stupid and Please. Please don't go. I I love you. I love you. Please don't leave. You see we were wrong about something else in the prophecy. My first love was never Eve. It was you, Chloe. It always has been. Please. Don't go. Goodbye. Goodbye.