Designing Mothers

Becky: When I was on Good Morning, Omaha, I had to do the farm reports as 'Becky, the milkmaid.' They made me sign off with a pig call. Sooieee! [Comet runs in.] Not a porker, but close.

[The girls' room is the first stop on Liz's tour of the Tanner house.]

Danny: So, Liz... what do you think?

Liz: Oh, window seat, corridor... This room has all the classic features.

Stephanie: Mrs. Larson, how would you decorate this room for, say, an heiress or a princess? Or [in this case] a 5th grader and her sister?

Danny: Hold on, girls. Mrs. Larson's not at work today.

Liz: Oh, no, no. It's perfectly alright. Now... in here, I think I would splash these wall with bright colors.

Michelle: I did that with my finger paints. Daddy didn't like it.

Liz: And I'd use contrasting patterns to make the room vibrate with youth and excitement.

Stephanie: Perfect. She [Michelle] has youth, and I have excitement. So Dad, do you think we can splash this room and make it vibrate with youth and excitement? Please, please?

Danny: Girls, why change a perfectly good room? Let's not have change for the sake of change. [And the girls groan and moan, not understanding what kind of change he wants.]

Liz: You know, Danny, I see clients like you all the time. Some people are just uncomfortable with change.

Danny: I'm not uncomfortable with change. I change my socks every day. Twice, if it's humid.

[Liz has a big surprise... a redesigned girls' room, and the girls are awe-struck when they see it (as shown in the infobox photo).]

Both girls: Wow!

Michelle: Wow, do I get to live here?

Stephanie: Mrs. Larson, it's so beautiful! Thank you so much!

Liz: You're welcome, my darlings.

Vicky: Mom, it's stunning! Danny, isn't it stunning?

Danny: I-I... I am stunned.

[D.J. is in her room in bed reading a book, when there's a knock on her door.]

D.J.: Enter.

Stephanie: I can't sleep in that room.

D.J.: Why not? Vicky's mom just redecorated it for you. It's beautiful.

Stephanie: I know. But I can't go back in there.

D.J.: What? Where are you gonna sleep?

Michelle: [with her bedding] This will do.

D.J.: You too? [Her sisters put their pillows on top of hers, and that forces her to take action.] Oh, no. Forget it. Dad! We have a situation here!

Michelle: Don't worry. When Stephanie snores, just pinch her nose.

[And in comes their dad with a resolution... hopefully.]

D.J.: Get them out, please.

Danny: Steph, Michelle, why aren't you in your new room?

Stephanie: Dad, we can't go back in there.

Michelle: That's the breakup room. It made you and Vicki fight.

Stephanie: How can we go back in there knowing how miserable it made you?

Danny: Miserable? No, no, no, no, no. I--No, I'm happy. I'm--I'm--I'm thrilled. I'm just shy of giddy. Yeah, 'cause you know, all those weekends I used to get excited about doing things with Vicky, now I can get excited about other things – really cool things – that I-I can do all by myself.