The Hangover Part III


 * [first lines; the film begins in a maximum security prison in Bangkok, where a riot is taking place, the main guard heads to a prison cell with a large poster of kitten on the wall, he tears the poster down to reveal a big hole in the wall where Chow has used to escape]
 * Chief Prison Guard: Chhoooww!!!
 * [we see Chow landing in the sewer tunnel and making a run for it as the guards chase after him when he is suddenly flushed out of the sewers and is thrown out into the ocean]
 * Mr. Chow: Ffuuuu…!!!
 * [we shift to America where Alan is driving on the freeway with a newly purchased giraffe]
 * Alan: We’re almost home, buddy!
 * [as he passes another car in the freeway, Alan shouts to a boy in the back of his parent’s looking out the window]
 * Alan: Hey! My name’s Alan and I bought a giraffe!
 * [the boy looks at the giraffe]
 * Alan: He’s all mine! It’s super friendly!
 * [the boy gives Alan the thumbs up and Alan does the same]
 * [Alan starts howling in excitement as he carries on driving, then a family in another car notices the giraffe]
 * Freeway Mom: Oh, wow! Look at the giraffe!
 * Freeway Girl: Oh, my God! Where do you think it’s going?
 * [shouting to himself]
 * Alan: Wooh! My life is great! I have a wonderful life! I have a wonderful life!
 * [we see Alan driving toward a low bridge, then suddenly as Alan drives under the bridge the giraffe is decapitated and its head smashes into one of the cars on the freeway causing it to crash into another car which causes a massive pile-up, finally Alan stops his car and looks behind him to see the damage he’s caused]
 * [after causing the crash on the freeway, Alan is sat in the living as his father is talking on the phone]
 * Sid: Yes, sir. Absolutely, I will. Thank you so much. No, of course …
 * [there’s a pause as he listens]
 * Sid: No. No. And again, I’m so sorry.
 * [he ends the call and looks at Alan]
 * Sid: That was the mayor, Alan.
 * Alan: It was an accident! You said you’d always love me, no matter what I did.
 * Sid: I know, and I do. You’re my best friend. But, Alan, why would you buy a giraffe?
 * Alan: I’ve always wanted one! I can feed him from my tree house. Besides, they remind me a lot of myself.
 * Sid: In what way?
 * Alan: They’re majestic, pensive and tall.
 * Sid: Pensive?
 * Alan: Yeah.
 * Sid: Where’d you learn that word?
 * Alan: “Words with Friends”.
 * Sid: What friends, Alan?
 * Alan: You can set it on random.
 * [Sid sighs]
 * Sid: Alan, aside from the fact that you shut down a freeway, you murdered a wild animal.
 * Alan: It’s National news. You don’t wanna know the checks I had to write to fix this.
 * Alan: Oh, please! We’re rich.
 * Sid: We are not anything, Alan! I’m well off! You are my forty year-old son…!
 * Alan: Forty-two!
 * Sid: Forty…
 * Alan: I’m forty-two!
 * Sid: Forty-two year-old son, who still lives at home! You are to go back on your medication or I’m cutting you off.
 * Alan: You’re bluffing. When’s dinner?
 * Sid: Your mother and I can’t take this anymore!
 * [Sid rises and starts walking away]
 * Alan: Oh, you might have to.
 * Sid: I can’t do it! I cannot do this!
 * [Alan puts on his headphone and listens to music as his father continues on ranting in the background to Alan’s mother, suddenly we see Sid collapse from a heart attack, but Alan is oblivious as he continues to listen to his music on the couch]
 * [at Sid’s funeral and Alan is singing “Ave Maria” in a remarkably female high pitch operatic voice, Phil and Stu are sitting in the crowd of family and friends listening]
 * Phil: My God, he’s got the voice of an angel.
 * Stu: It’s breathtaking.
 * [Alan finishes singing and starts giving a speech]
 * Alan: I can’t believe my daddy is dead. I can think of so many people I would rather have died first, like my mother.
 * [his mother is sat in the crowd, crying]
 * Alan: As many of you know, my father and I were extremely close. He was my life partner. He would often tell me, almost on a daily basis, that I was his favorite child.
 * [Alan’s sister looks at him in shock]
 * Alan: I’ll always remember the last words he said to me. “I’m proud of you, Alan. Never change.” Well, I heard you loud and clear, daddy. I will never change.
 * [he leans closer to the microphone]
 * Alan: Never, ever.
 * [Alan’s mom start crying harder, Tracy comforts her]
 * Tracy: Oh, mom.
 * [to the priest standing beside him]
 * Alan: Go ahead, chief.
 * [Alan steps away from the microphone and the priest takes over]
 * Priest at Funeral: Sid Garner was a beloved husband, father and neighbor.
 * [we see Alan standing next to his father’s photo and poses for a photo with his cell phone]
 * [after the funeral Stu, Phil and Doug are walking away in the cemetery]
 * Phil: Wow, rough day.
 * Stu: Yeah. How’s Tracy doing?
 * Doug: Not great. Her mother is totally on the edge, and if all this weren’t enough, apparently Alan’s been off his meds for almost six months.
 * Phil: Oh, boy.
 * Doug: Yeah, it has not been pretty. Then there’s the whole fucking giraffe thing
 * Phil: I thought that was pretty funny.
 * Stu: What?
 * Phil: Come on! He killed a giraffe. Who gives a fuck?
 * [they chuckle]
 * Stu: You know, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but Alan’s been stopping by my office lately.
 * Doug: You’re kidding me? What for?
 * Stu: I don’t know. He just sits in the waiting room and reads highlights magazine. Fills in the puzzles, whatever he can, and then leaves.