Austin's New Crush

'Sup, guys? What do you think of my sweater?! It only has one arm. I could take it or "sleeve" it. Is it just me, or are my jokes getting better? It's just you. I made this sweater for my Dezzie. I'm taking a knitting class. Can you believe this is the first thing she ever knitted? What?! - No way. - I have eyes. Well, let's get out of here, Ally. It's time to celebrate our one-month-iversary. We're going to the pickle factory. Isn't Gavin the sweetest? It must be hard seeing Ally with someone else. It was weird at first, but I'm ready to move on. I know the perfect girl. She's tall, sweet, easy on the eyes. Sadly, she's taken. Love you, babe. Boop! Lucky for you, Carrie has a sister. Oh, that's a great idea. You'd love her. She's just like me. Only, kinda forgetful. Oh, which reminds me, I forgot to turn off the dishwasher. I have a feeling her sister's probably not my type. Maybe this will change your mind. Yeah, definitely not my type. Are you sure? 'Cause I've met her, and she's every bit as amazing as Carrie. Bubbles taste weird. Ally, I have big news. Have you ever heard of Armand Bianchi? Of course! He's that celebrity designer who made that one red carpet dress out of red carpet. Well, I got you a meeting with him. Wearing one of his dresses would be great exposure. Yeah! I could make the best-dressed list. Or the worst-dressed list. But who cares? As long as you're on the list. Thanks so much for setting this up, Trish. Uh, what's this? It looks like yarn. It goes all the way up to the practice room. Hey! Who's pulling me? What's with the sweater shorts? One leg is shorter than the other. Man, I must have unraveled. I'll go have Carrie fix them. Should we tell him they're still unraveling? He's gonna be in his underwear any minute. Meh, he'll find out soon enough. Ever since Ally and Dez got in relationships, I've got no one to hang out with. So I'm really glad we're doing this. I'm glad we're doing this too. I really enjoy these moments. Aww, thanks! I feel the same way. Huh? Oh, sorry, I was talking to my boyfriend. Say that again, Jace. Oh, Jace Well, at least I got you, beach ball. You'll never leave me. Aw, come on. Ow! Hey! Watch where you're throwing those. Sorry. Ooh. Whoa. Hello. I mean 'Sup? I'm Austin. I know who you are. I'm a big fan. I mean, 'sup. I'm Piper. Some more are coming in. Those waves are getting big. Actually, I'm waiting for them to get bigger. Really? Those waves are too small for you? Me too. So, how come I haven't seen you around here before? I usually surf by my house. But there's much better scenery here, if you know what I mean. Thanks. I did some pushups earlier. I was talking about the beach, spaghetti arms. Are you sure you're doing those pushups right? Very funny. You just wanted to touch my arm. Maybe. You wanna go surfing tomorrow? Are you asking me out? What can I say? You rode a wave right into my heart. Wow. I hope your surfing's better than your flirting. Me too. So what do you say? It's a date. Hey, there's supposed to be some killer 20-foot waves in the morning. Great. Then I'll see you after lunch. Thanks again for setting up that meeting. You know, Armand Bianchi's one of my favorite designers. Me too. Remember that dress he made out of live snapping turtles? Yeah. I wonder if that model ever got her nose back. Greetings! Everyone feeling splendid? - Did you just say "splendid"? - Yeah. I'm going on a date with this amazing girl. So I looked up a bunch of new words to make her think I'm smart. You all look quite adolescent. I love it that you're learning new words. Maybe next you can learn what they mean. You guys are really gonna like my date. She's beautiful, she's funny, she surfs. Well, does she floss? 'Cause you can tell a lot about a girl by her gums. Ahh. Uh Yeah, this one's feisty. Here she is now! Guys? Meet my date. Piper? Hey, Carrie. You guys know each other? Yeah, she's my sister. What? Piper's the kooky girl Dez wanted to set you up with in the first place? Wait Yeah, I wanted to set you two up But when I showed Austin your picture, he was all like, "blech! Ugh! Yeesh!" Really? So, I wasn't good enough for you? No, I I can explain. Dez showed me this picture, and your face was all Not like it is now. That was from "nerd day" at school. Well, I'm glad we cleared that up. It bothers me that all you care about are looks. What if that wasn't a costume? It could have been real. Haven't you ever gone through an awkward phase? I think we're all feeling a little awkward right now. Actually, I'm enjoying myself. You can forget about that date, Austin. I don't wanna go out with a guy who's this shallow. I'm not shallow. I just like pretty girls. Wait, that sounded bad! So, where you guys going on your date? How can Piper think I'm shallow? Would a shallow guy spend three hours making his hair look like this? Yes, he would. I spent three hours putting on this outfit Carrie gave me. I don't know why she gave me two. I think those are socks. Ohh, that's why it took me three hours to put on. How can I show Piper I'm deep? I love may 10th, when you cried after seeing that double rainbow. I fell off my skateboard. There just happened to be a double rainbow at the same time. Forget the rainbows! Just do something thoughtful for her. Find out what she likes to eat and cook for her. Yeah! Girls love it when you care about stuff they like. Why else would I be wearing a sock dress all day? All right. Then I'm gonna be into whatever Piper's into. What do you think she likes to eat? Carrie said she's a vegan. And I'm a capricorn. But what does she like to eat? Um, no no no no. - Ahh, you must be Trish. - Mm-hmm. Oh, no. Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah. Wow, that's a lot of kisses. Thank you for meeting us, Mr. Bianchi. You're our favorite clothing designer. Oh, I'm not a designer! I'm merely a vessel through which pattern and fashion birth into the universe. Sounds messy. Hi, I'm Ally. - Great to meet you. - Oh! Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Oh! Only six. We just met. Ally, you are quite beautiful. How would you Like to be my new muse? Are you serious? I've never made a joke in my life. And besides, I've grown bored of my former muse. Jamie, you're boring! And fired! I have a show this weekend, and I'd like you to wear the crown jewel of my collection. Thank you. This coat is made entirely of feathers from the exotic jub-jub bird A rare and distant relative of the peacock. Oh, it's beautiful. Yes, this fashion show will help raise money to prevent their Extinction. You know what else would prevent their extinction? Not making coats out of them. I only use the feathers that naturally fall off the birds in my private sanctuary. Well, no one's gonna be able to pull it off like our Ally. We'll work on that. Yeah. I hope you're waxing up an appetite. Because I have some treats for you. They're pretty delinquent. I don't think you're using that word right. Listen I wanna prove to you that I'm not shallow. I spent all night writing you this poem. "I know I was rude and came off kinda jerky, so I made you some food. Enjoy this tofu Turkey. " It rhymes. Look, Austin, I already told you I don't wanna go out with you. Maybe this will change your mind. I heard you're a vegan, so once I figured out what that meant, I made you tofu with carrots, carrot souffle Carrot soup, carrot cake You realize, they make other vegetables. Look, Piper, just give me a chance to prove myself. I'll do anything you're into. Really? Anything I'm into? Okay. Well, for starters, I don't believe in bottled water. I I don't believe in it either. But, look, it's real. I mean, it's not natural enough for me. I prefer coconut water. Straight from the tallest trees. Um okay. I'll be right back. Hoo! What are you up to? You don't drink coconut water. I know. I'm testing him. He says he's a genuine guy who's really into me, and I wanna see how far he'll go. Ooh, I like that. It's so delinquent. Aww! There's a bird's nest up here! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow ow! So, I watched models on TV to come up with my own runway walk. I call this "the fish out of water. " I think we should throw that one back. Okay. How about "the lost tourist"? Eh, can I give that to her some directions? How about don't walk like that? Okay. You'll love "the prancing pony. " Ooh! Oh. Sorry, caveman guy. Dez, it's me. Oh. Piper made me give up clothes, soap, toothpaste Even my hair products. But your hair was so perfect before. It's all you had! Well, what about my singing and dancing? Ooh. A lot of people sing and dance, buddy. So, is Piper gonna go out with you now? No. She still thinks I'm some shallow guy. I don't know what else I can do. She seems to be all about saving the animals. Protest this fashion show. They're using feathers from endangered animals. "Armand Bianchi debuts his one-of-a-kind jub-jub coat. " She'll hate this! I'll go down there and hold up a sign. Oh-ho, no no no no no! Amateur. You need to think bigger. Like dump buckets of paint on all the models. That's a great idea! You get Piper there. I'll take care of the rest. How about I get Piper there and you take care of your breath? Whoo! Thanks for covering my shift, Carrie. I couldn't miss Ally's first fashion show. No problem. You sure you don't wanna wear my latest knit shirt? That's a hat. No. It's a shirt. I just couldn't get it over my head. How's it going, Dez? I am outraged. And you will be too, Piper. Austin found out there are these poor defenseless birds, whose feathers are being used to make coats, pants and skirts. Ooh, I bet those feather skirts are cute. Uh, super cute. Wait I thought you were against using animals for anything. Yeah, about that Um, I'm not really anti-feather or anti-soap or anti-leather. Or antidisestablishmentarianism. I learned that word in history class. I don't know what it means, but I've been dying to use it. I was just messing with Austin to see if he was really into me. It turns out, he's a really great guy. So you completely embarrassed and humiliated a person just to prove a point?! I'm gonna stop making him do all that crazy stuff. Mm, you should have stopped him 10 minutes ago. He's now at the fashion show protesting the abuse of some weird jub-jub bird. Did you say jub-jub bird? Dez, no one's abusing the birds! The show's raising money to save them! And Ally's the starring model. What?! Ally's a model? Have you seen that girl walk in heels? Yeah, it's ugly. Austin's gonna drop buckets of paint on Ally and the other models. Oh, I'll call him! Ooh, that might be a problem. Austin got rid of his phone when I told him I didn't believe in technology. Austin! Austin! Piper! I'm so glad you're here. I'm about to stop this disgusting fashion show. You don't have to. I know. That's just the kind of non-superficial guy I am. I lie awake at night thinking about those poor jub-jub birds. Austin, she's been messing with you. She's manipulative and deceitful and has a lot of other great qualities too. I'm sorry, Austin. I was just testing you. I'm not really against all that stuff. So, I wore this potato sack for nothing? I ate vegetables for nothing! Well, the vegetables weren't for nothing. I am a vegan. I can't believe this. I'm just glad we found you in time. Now you won't ruin Ally's fashion show. Ally's in this? Oh, no, she's gonna get covered in paint when this timer goes off! - Well, turn it off! - I can't! Oh We have to get her attention. Ally! Ally! She thinks we're cheering her on. Ally! Ally! We have five seconds. Do something. Look out, Ally! Saved it. Ally! Oh! Oh, my My precious angel! Are you okay?! I got this, sir. She's my precious angel. I was talking about my coat! Is it is it ruined?! Austin, what's going on? I'll tell you what's going on. This monster tried to ruin the most important piece of clothing hate to interrupt, but you might wanna yell at me a bit further away. Huh? Oh Fly, my jub-jub, fly! Is she safe? Sorry again for lying to you. I understand why you thought I was shallow. I'm really sorry too. Can we start over? I'd like that. 'Sup? I'm Austin. 'Sup? I'm Piper. Wanna go surfing? I hear there are some killer Great. Then I'll see you after lunch. Not 'cause I'm scared of big waves, 'cause it's gonna take me that long to get my hair looking good again. Austin, I can't believe it. I know. I'm really sorry I ruined your show. No. I mean you and Piper. I'm really happy for you. Thanks. So you're not mad at me for causing all this? No. I think it's romantic you made a fool of yourself to impress a girl. But I ruined your modeling debut. Eh, I'm sure I would have ruined it sooner or later. Have you seen me walk in heels? Ahh. Oh! Armand Bianchi saw the knit clothes you wore at the fashion show, and wants to feature you in his next photo shoot. No way! But I didn't know I was that good. Trust me, none of us did. I finally get to put my supermodel good looks to use.