Alvin & the Outcasts

Hiccup (v.o.) There's an old Viking saying: "When your friends are roasting on the spit, you're the one who's feels the fire." Mildew has made the entire village believe that dragons are too wild, that we all can't live together in peace. He's wrong, and I'm going to prove it. Snotlout Arrrrrrgggh! We've been here for hours and we haven't found anything! Hiccup We've been here for ten minutes! And you've done nothing than build that! Snotlout That is Snotlout Manor. And all I need now is a queen. Astrid Ugh. Tuffnut Aaaarrrrrrrgggh! Snotlout What-What are you doing?! Tuffnut Storming the castle. Hiccup Come on, guys! I'm telling you, Mildew framed our dragons! I saw dragon feet in Mildew's house and I watched him throw them into the ocean. Fishlegs I don't mean to be Norbert the Negative, but the ocean is really, really vast. And our chances at finding those dragon feet are as good as Snotlout and Astrid-- Astrid Don't go there. Fishlegs Going nowhere. Astrid Look, Fishlegs is right. Even if Mildew did throw them in the ocean, they're not just gonna wash up on shore here. Snotlout I found it! Hiccup GREAT! Ehm... You were saying? Snotlout I haven't seen since I was a baby. You never forget your first bludgeon. Hiccup Just keep looking. Gobber One down, 345 to go. Stoick Can't you do that any faster? Until you restock our weapons, we're completely defenseless. Gobber Maybe you should have thought about that before sending the dragons away. Stoick You know I had no choice. They destroyed the armory. Gobber This would be a bad time to get attacked. Stoick I know, Gobber. Gobber Not that there's ever a good time, but this would be particularly bad. Stoick I know, Gobber. Gobber Especially by Alvin. The Treacherous. Our oldest and most-feared enemy. Who'd kill us all to take Berk for his own. Stoick I got it, Gobber! Alvin the Treacherous... Outcast #1 Alvin, they're coming back! Alvin Out of me way! You can't find good marauders anywhere these days. Savage Alvin, there are too many of them! We need to get inside! Alvin Oh, I've had it with these dragons! Is the ship ready? Savage We still have a little more work to do. Alvin That's not my problem, is it? We sail for Berk immediately. We'll land here and under the cover of night. Savage Why aren't we taking the whole army? Alvin We're not there to fight Stoick. We're there for one man: The Dragon Conqueror. Savage Oh, and you'll have him. We hear he's ten feet tall with the strength of a dozen men. Alvin Well, he shouldn't be too hard to find then, should he? Hiccup I'm telling you! I saw a pair of Zippleback feet in Mildew's house. He must have used them to make the footprints of the dragon who supposedly stole the boots. Stoick Well, then let's go have a look at them. Hiccup Yeah. Uh, there's gonna be a problem with that. I also saw him throw them into the ocean... Stoick I know you're upset about the dragons, son, but you're gonna need evidence to accuse a man of high treason. Hiccup Astrid, we'll prove Mildew did it. We have to if we ever want to see our dragons again. Astrid I just hope they're okay. Why would one of our ships be anchoring there? Hiccup It's not one of our ships. I gotta tell Dad. Come on! Alvin Ah, it's good to be back on the shores of Berk. Savage Good for you. Not so good for them. Alvin Let's find this Dragon Conqueror! Stoick This is no time to panic! That's what the Outcasts are counting on! Sven Stoick! Stoick Sven, did you get a count? Sven I saw thirty men at least, all armed to the teeth. Gobber Without my weapons, we'll never be able to fight them head on. Mildew No weapons! And Outcasts on our shores! All thanks to your boy and his dragons! Stoick I don't have time for this right now, Mildew. Mulch! You and Bucket gather the elders and the children. Get them to Thor's beach. They'll be save in the caves there. Astrid We can help fight! We've been trained as warriors. Snotlout She may have been trained, but I was born a warrior. Stoick Take this. It was Alvin's. But go with the others. You can help protect them. Hiccup Let me go get the dragons. At least if we have them, Dad, we can defend ourselves. Stoick Go. But be careful. You don't know what Alvin is capable of. The rest of you: We'll head to the woods. Nobody knows that forest like we do. Gobber And when Alvin comes to looking for us there, he'll walk right into our trap! Fishlegs Oh, Meatlug, I miss you. The moon is full, my heart is empty. What rhymes with empty? Alvin Don't waste your time. Nothing rhymes with "empty". Who's the Dragon Conqueror? Fishlegs AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Hiccup Ah! Fishlegs! Fishlegs Alvin's looking for you. He's looking for the Dragon Conqueror. Alvin Looks like Stoick isn't as armed as we'd anticipated. Savage From the looks of the armory, he's not armed at all. Alvin Hmm... Should I knock? I mean, what's the etiquette in these situations? Alvin I think that seems about right. Stoick! Show your face! Alvin The old coward's turned and run. Outcast #2 I spotted fresh tracks leading into the forest. And I heard reports of a big guy with a bucket on his head heading down to the beach. Alvin Ehh, we'll split up. You four, go into the woods. Outcast #1 Where are we going? Alvin We'll go to the beach! How many hostages do you think a Dragon Conqueror is worth? Outcasts Seven! No! Eight! Fishlegs What do we do now? Hiccup Go to the woods and warn my father. I need to get ahead of Alvin and warn Mulch and the others. Gobber When they come looking for us in the forest, they'll have to come through here. Stoick Alright. What do we have? Gobber Two frying pans, a rolling pin, and a kitchen knife. Stoick And what are we going to do when we find Alvin? Bake him a cake?! Gobber Eh, pie would be nice, too. Who doesn't like pie? Gobber That could be useful! Mulch Hurry now! The cave is just up ahead. Mulch Where's Bucket? Little Girl He went back to get my Lamby. Mulch Oh, for the love of... Why am I always looking for Bucket? Hey, yeah, why can't he-- Bucket? It's like trying to keep track of a half-wit pig. Mulch Ugh, Bucket! You had one job: Bring up the rear. Bucket But the little girl! You should've seen the look on her face, big blue eyes with the tears welling up. Mulch Ugh, oh... your bucket's hard, but your heart is soft. Come on, come on. Mulch Uh-oh... Alvin You made it easy for us, Bucket. It's hard to miss a half-wit and his lamb. Outcast #2 Keep moving! Outcast #3 There he is! Get him! Gobber Oh, you lousy Outcasts! You'll never take me alive! Outcast #4 Come on, get him! Gobber Ugh. Looks like you got me, boys. Outcasts Come on, get him! Gobber Or maybe it's we who've got you. Stoick That way. Over there. Fishlegs Stoick! No! Stoick For the love of Thor, Fishlegs, I could have killed you! Fishlegs Thank you... For not killing me. Stoick What are you doing here? Fishlegs Alvin the Treacherous grabbed me. He looked really treacherous. Stoick I know they're here, Fishlegs. Fishlegs Yeah. They're here for Hiccup. Stoick Hiccup? Alvin For those of you who haven't figured it out...I am the one and only Alvin the Treacherous. And let me be clear, that name was earned. Tuffnut "Alvin"? Pft... How did he earn that? Alvin Your leader has abandoned ya. But Stoick doesn't concern me. I'm not here for him. I want the Dragon Conqueror. Mildew Say goodbye to Hiccup. Mildew Alvin! Astrid My grandfather's frail. He needs his nap. Alvin Well, like I said...tell me who the Dragon Conqueror is and you can all go free. Snotlout Conqueror? Come on! I'll show Alvin who's a conqueror. Snotlout For you, sir. Alvin Well, you'd better check your trousers, son. I think you've soiled yourself. Alvin Will you look at that! My old hatchet. I was wondering when I'd get that back. Alvin Trying to kill Alvin the Treacherous? Ooh hoo! You're not as smart as you look. Tell me, who's your Dragon Conqueror, eh? Alvin Tell me! Hiccup Leave her alone! Astrid Hiccup! What are you doing? Hiccup I'm the Dragon Conqueror. Alvin You? Stoick's little embarrassment? Hiccup I drove the dragons from Berk. Look around. You don't see any on this island, do you? Astrid I-It's true! All the dragons are afraid of him. He even conquered a Night Fury! Alvin You're bluffing. Hiccup Am I? Well, there's only one way to find out. Take me to Dragon Island. Stoick Where's Alvin?! Astrid Alvin took Hiccup. Stoick What?! Astrid He gave himself up. They're on their way to Dragon Island. Alvin I'm sure you're father's told you plenty about your island's most feared enemy. Hiccup Wh-who's that? Oh, right, uh, you. No. Not so much. Alvin Really? Not a word? Hiccup Nope. Alvin Nothing? Hiccup Uh-uh. Alvin Nothing about Alvin? Hiccup Nope. Hiccup Look, 'Al', all I care about is that if I do what I say, you will leave the people of Berk in peace. Alvin On me word, son! Stoick When we get there, we'll lay down cover fire with these catapults. Astrid, you get your dragons. Snotlout No! Save your cover fire for the others, sir. I can handle myself. Gobber I'll fire extra rounds to cover that one. Tuffnut Sir, we'd like to personally volunteer to kick Alvin's butt. Stoick This isn't about Alvin. It's about Hiccup. We're here to bring him home. Hiccup Hey, is the sword really necessary? Alvin Odin's Ghost! Alvin Is that a...? Hiccup Night Fury! The unholy offspring of lightning and death itself! Hiccup Ah, stop! Hiccup ...It will only make him angrier! Watch and learn. Alvin By all means, proceed. Heheheheh! I hope you're not squeamish. You're about to see a dragon eat a boy. Hiccup I missed you, too...w-we'll catch up later. Right now, follow my lead. Hiccup You cannot defeat me! You dirty dragon! I am the Dragon Conqueror! Alvin Hey, what are you doing with that dragon?! Hiccup By the way, it's not really "Dragon Conqueror", it's "Dragon Trainer"! Now! Alvin Great thunder of Thor! He is the Dragon Conqueror! Fire! Hiccup Look out! Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Alvin What are you waiting for?! Shoot him down! Outcasts There he is! Now we've got him! Alvin Fire! Hiccup Oh, what took you so long? Astrid Why, did you miss me? Snotlout Hiccup! Hiccup We've gotta get in closer! Stoick Aim for their catapults! If we knock them out, the dragons can finish off the ship! Fire! Alvin Move offshore! Hiccup Here's our chance! Come on! Alvin Oh, shoot that dragon down! Fire! Hiccup ASTRID! Astrid HICCUP! Alvin Welcome aboard, Astrid. Don't miss this time! Hiccup Look out! Hiccup Hold your fire! He's got Astrid! Hiccup What are you doing?! Snotlout I heard you say "fire"! Hiccup I said "Hold your fire!" Snotlout See?! You said it again! Stoick No, he's right! Snotlout Thank you! Stoick Fire again, Hiccup! All of you! Hiccup Everyone! Fire into the water! Alvin Fire! Outcast At what? Alvin Everything! Outcasts Did you hear that? Oh, what's that?! Hiccup Astrid, hop on! Stoick You're a coward taking my son. Alvin I take what I want! You know that, Stoick! Stoick Not this time. Stoick NOW, HICCUP! BURN THE SHIP! Hiccup Here we go, guys! HIT 'EM WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT! Stoick Hiccup, what were you thinking? Hiccup I was thinking... all I needed to do was to get to Toothless. And together, we'd be able to make things right. Alvin They ride dragons! We get that boy, and we'll ride dragons! Hiccup You hear that, bud? You're back home. Mildew What are you cheering about? Don't you remember what these beasts have done?! Stoick I do. They saved our lives. Hiccup And I may not be able to prove what you've done, but I will never forget it. Hiccup (v.o.) It's funny how an attack by your greatest enemy can change things overnight. I set out to prove that our dragons would never hurt us... what they proved, is that they will always protect us.