How Deadpool Should Have Ended


 * Deadpool: Ugh! Right up main street! Three, Two, Stupid!... Worth it!
 * Guy: Deadpool. Why are you counting bullets? Why don't you just pick up one of our many weapons?
 * Deadpool: Well that's simple! Because this makes me... look like one Bad... Mother...


 * Deadpool: Don't worry! I'm totally top of this!
 * Vanesia: Ugh!
 * Deadpool: Maximum! Effort!
 * Vanesia: No! NO NO!! (Screams)
 * Deadpool: And that's when the love of my life died! No thanks to you, Teen Titans!
 * Girl: Hey! I didn't make you toss her off a 300 foot drop.
 * Deadpool: It was my maximum effort! And what are you Michael Bay? Nobody asked you to make a cliche explosion in the middle of my boss battle!
 * Girl: Colossus needed my help.
 * Deadpool: So yeah! Now I'm alone. The only girl of my dreams... gone forever... Thanks to the X-Men.
 * Superman: Now you know how Firely fans feel.
 * Deadpool: Too soon, Superman!
 * Batman: So, what happened to Ajax?
 * Deadpool: You mean Francis? He died under all that rubble.
 * Superman: Are you sure?
 * Deadpool: Well he better have! If not I'm gonna find him, shoot him in the head, and then use the hole for...
 * Superman: Stop!


 * Superman: This is a terrible idea!
 * Deadpool: Uh, excuse me, copycats. We were talking about my dead girlfriend.
 * Colossus: Wade, please. You did not love this woman.
 * Deadpool: Oh really! Well what do you know about it Mr. Metal Sack?
 * Colossus: I think you only enjoyed her for... sexy times.
 * Deadpool: What!? That is not true. Vanessa and I also made amazing sci-fi references together. I loved that girl! That was a montage and everything! I didn't call her because... I'm ugly now.
 * Girl: That's too bad. Beast probably would've helped you out if you had just called us first.
 * Deadpool: I am going to kill you, little girl!