Al Pacino and the Chipmunks / Taylor Lautner's Deleted Twilight Shirtless Scenes

Dave Seville: You know, guys? I always wanted to sail on a fancy cruise liner! Too bad the fancy ones don't allow rodents!

(HONK!)

Alvin: Look on the bright side, Dave! The only reason we can afford this lousy cruise is because our lousy movies do so well!

(Jumps out of the kids pool.)

Alvin: I'm king of the over used movie quotes!

Dave Seville: How's the look out there, Captain?

Captain: Free and clear! I mean your chipmunk is blocking my view, but I can't believe he's hiding any...

Captain & Dave Seville: ICEBGRG!!! ALVIN!!!

(The Chipmunks are stranded on an island.)

Simon: Way to go, Alvin. You crashed our ship, and we lost Dave! Now who's going to look after us?

(The bushes rustle, only to have Al Pacino appear.)

Al Pacino: Hoo-ha! That means "Hello".

(Title card: Al Pacino and the Chipmunks, with Al Pacino, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore appearing in the middle of the life preserver)

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Al Pacino?

Theodore: What are you doing on this island?

Al Pacino: I came here to (Holds up a script saying "Godfather Island, Produced by K. Shinick") prepare for a role, then I got so embarrassed on the part that I forgot who I was! Then I forgot how to get home! Now I forgot why I'm telling this story!

Simon: You're Al Pacino! The star of so many classic movies! Well, not in the last 20 years. but you had a good run!

Al Pacino: That's my point! Hollywood's a dangerous town! I'd rather take my chances here in the wilderness! (A fly shrinks Al's head.) What? My agent actually takes more than this!

(Scene goes to Al's island house.)

Al Pacino: So, this is my home.

Alvin: Wow, this whole place is yours?

Al Pacino: Well, I've got a roommate! But he's cool!

(ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!)

Al Pacino: Hey! Did you return that DVD rental yet?

(ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!)

Al Pacino: We're like Two and a Half Men, only the leopard ate the boy.

Alvin: You had a boy?

Al Pacino: Let's keep moving!

(Scene goes to palm trees and grass.)

Alvin: I wish we could help you, Al, but we've got to get back to record out next CD!

Al Pacino: That's it! Why don't I join your group? Nobody's ever heard me sing!

Simon: Our group? Uh, our voices are a little higher than yours, Al.

Al Pacino: Nah! My voice used to be high, too! But a little something comes along in life, and makes it lower. I call it "Dick Tracy".

Theodore: I don't know. We--

Al Pacino: I know, I know. You want me to audition. I get it. Well, here are the best parts from all my movies. Hoo-ha! Get 'em, boys! Wiki-wiki-wiki-wiki! I got footsoliders! Can you feel that heat? Bingo was not his NAME-O! She's a computer! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Laugh it up, fuzzball. That last one was actually Han Solo. I was on the role to turn it down. Stupid. So, what did you think?

Alvin: Uh, I could hear you perfectly.

Simon: Yeah! The lighting was fantastic.

Theodore: We all had a lot of fun here today.

Al Pacino: Yeah! Luckily, I don't have to perform. I have to sing, right?

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Uhhhh...

Al Pacino: Great! This is gonna be bigger than "Godfather 3".

(Scene goes to a stage.)

Al Pacino: Thank you, everyone. Thank you for coming.

(Scene goes to two other random things and the leopard.)

Al Pacino: And, without further ado, say hello to my little friends! (The curtains shows Alvin and the Chipmunks.) One, two, three--

(They all sing "She'll Be Comin' Around the Mountain When She Comes", only with Al adding "Hoo-ha"s to it.)

Dave: ALVIN!

Alvin: Dave!

Simon: You're here!

Theodore: Where were you?

Dave Seville: It was the weirdest thing. I was on an island with Robert De Niro!

(Scene goes to an island.)

Robert De Niro: You squawkin' to me?

Dave Seville: Then I found this flyer! (Shows a flyer that says "AL PACINO PRESENTS: AL PACINO AND THE CHIPMUNKS")

Al Pacino: I sent it to everyone in the industry and looked, it worked!

(HONK!)

Alvin and the Chipmunks and Dave: We're saved!

(ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!)

Al Pacino: Ehh! All we needed was the boat.

(Segment ends)

(Cuts to the SUPER FRIENDS' WATCHTOWER.)

(Something's playing on TV.)

Batman: Hey, Gummi Guy! How about grabbing me a soda?

Plastic Man: And why would I do that?

Batman: Because we're, you know, friends! Super Friends?

Plastic Man: We're not friends. You don't even know my name!

Batman: Sure I do! It's, uhh... Hey, Blacktricity, what's our friend's name here?

Black Lightning: You know, you called this the Super Friends, but really, none of us is feeling the love.

Superman: Is that true?

Plastic Man: How can we put this?

(Lights out. Lights on)

Plastic Man: Ahem!

Wonder Woman: Here we go...

Plastic Man: ♫ "Super Friends" is what we're called, but really, that is bogus ♫

Black Lightning: ♫ At best, we'd say we're work colleagues, no matter how you coach us ♫

Plastic Man, Black Lightning: ♫ There's really only three of you, the rest of us are tokens, robots, fish, and aliens, a female hocus-pocus ♫

Random Super Friends: ♫ Dibi-dibi-di, dibi-dibi-dum-dum-dum, dibi-dibi-di,dibi-dibi-dum-dum... ♫

Hal Jordan / Green Lantern: ♫ If Super Friends are what we are, then come and help me move ♫

Black Canary: ♫ I asked if you could feed my cat, you left to save the Louvre ♫

Doctor Mid-Nite: ♫ Can you drive me to the airport? You said... ♫

Batman: ♫ "Best to call a cab" ♫ (drives off)

Doctor Mid-Nite: ♫ So how are we the Super Friends? ♫

Green Arrow: Hey, let me take a stab! (shoots arrow)

(HEY!)

Random Super Friends: ♫ Dibi-dibi-di, dibi-dibi-dum-dum-dum, dibi-dibi-di,dibi-dibi-dum-dum... ♫

Blue Beetle: ♫ Super Friends is just a name, on Facebook, you won't poke us ♫

All Super Friends: ♫ It's all about the union dues, which really kind of soak us ♫

Booster Gold: ♫ Your members change so frequently, commitment is a sham ♫

Doctor Fate: ♫ You say you don't charge minors, but then you bill SHAZAM! ♫

(HEY!)

Random Super Friends: ♫ Dibi-dibi-di, dibi-dibi-dum-dum-dum, dibi-dibi-di,dibi-dibi-dum-dum... ♫

Hawkman: ♫ Super Friends are there for you, they've always got your back ♫

Robin: ♫ Yet clearly, you said nothing when I went out dressed like that ♫

(He pulls out a photo of him in a different costume.)

Elongated Man: ♫ I was really strapped for cash and things were really, really tight ♫

(He tries to take money from Superman.)

Elongated Man: ♫ But asking you for money seems to be your Kryptonite ♫

(POW!)

Random Super Friends: ♫ Dibi-dibi-di, dibi-dibi-dum-dum-dum, dibi-dibi-di,dibi-dibi-dum-dum... ♫

Barry Allen / Flash #1: ♫ Sure, we've saved the world and all... ♫

Barry Allen / Flash #1 and Wally West / Flash #2: ♫ Plus all the other Earths ♫

Kid Flash: ♫ Just sit through Twilight with me and you'll really prove your worth ♫

Jay Garrick / Flash #3: ♫ That's what Super Friends are for, sings Elton John J'onn J'onzz ♫

Martian Manhunter: (playing piano) ♫ If only you would change the name, this place would feel like home ♫

All Super Friends: ♫ If only you would change the name, this place would feel like HO-O-O-O-O-O-O-OME! ♫

Superman: Okay. Well, how about... the Justice League?

All Superheroes: Yeah! Sure! I'm okay with that.

Batman: Great! Hey Justice League, how about grabbing me a soda?

(segment ends)