Dr. Three-Brains

Transcript for Dr. Three-Brains
Narrator: In the "Seriously Dangerous Criminals Who Mean Business" wing of the City Jail…

(Scene: Inside the jail. Two-Brains is working on something in his cell, with his back turned toward the bars.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Uh-huh, uh-huh, stick the gum to the tin foil… add a pinch of prison meatloaf… one pencil eraser..

Warden: Hey, Two-Brains.

Dr. Two-Brains: (startled and acting guilty) Uh, it’s nothing. Nothing. Not building anything.

Warden: Uh, yeah, that’s nice. Listen, I’ve got a little  unexpected  surprise for you. You know how they’re painting all the cells over in D block?

Dr. Two-Brains: Yes, I saw. Lovely shade of gray.

Warden: Well, we had to move some of the prisoners around. Meet your new cellmate!

(The warden opens Two-Brains’ cell door, and Two-Brains sees that it is Glen Furlblam.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Glen Furlblam?!

Glen: What's up… Doc?

Warden: Oh, you two know each other?

Narrator and Two-Brains: (together) Yes, Glen used to be--

(They both stop.)

Narrator: I’m sorry, after you.

Dr. Two-Brains: No, no, you’re the narrator. Please narrate.

Narrator: Thank you! (clears throat) Glen Furlblam was once Dr. Two-Brains’ number one fan. But when Glen tried to  outdo  his hero’s crimes, he ended up with a one-way ticket to jail, courtesy of WordGirl. Now, a bitter and angry Glen threatens to--

Dr. Two-Brains: Okay, that’s enough!

Glen: Yeah, don’t give it away!

Narrator: Right. Sorry. Heh-heh…

Warden: Okay, well uh, you boys play nice. (walks away)

Dr. Two-Brains: So, Glen, still trying to copy me?

Glen: (chuckles) No way! It’s all your fault that I’m even in this place.

Dr. Two-Brains: My fault?! Look, pal, the only reason you’re here is that you were always trying to  outdo  me! Pff! Like that was ever gonna happen.

Glen: Oh! You think you’re so smart with your… brains and… stuff!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh really? Well, Glen, tonight is your lucky night!

Glen: What do you mean?

Dr. Two-Brains: I mean I’m busting out of here! In a little while, you’ll have this whole cell all to yourself! Hee-hee-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Glen: Oh yeah, right. Escape. Sure. How?

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, with a little something I whipped up in the prison arts and crafts room!

(He holds up his invention. It is some sort of a ray gun, with a brush on the nozzle end, a mouse face in the middle, a light bulb above the trigger, and a plastic spoon and fork toward the back.)

Glen: Whoa! Is that a homemade ray blaster?

Dr. Two-Brains: Yup. This little number can blast out any nearby lights, plunging the whole room into total darkness! I call it the Blackout Ray! Ba-ha-ha!

Glen: What are you gonna do with it?

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, you’ll find out! And once I’ve escaped, I’m going to start my latest crime spree! This is a list of the three things I just can’t wait to steal. Ha-ha-ha! Oh but, first things first!

(The cell door opens, and a guard brings in a tray with water, cheese, and a slice of pie.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ooh, dinner! Right on time.

Jailer: Eat up, jailbirds! Thirty minutes until lights out.

Dr. Two-Brains: I have a better idea. Lights out starts-- right now!

(He raises the ray gun and fires it. The room goes pitch black. Two-Brains’ laugh can be heard, and the jailer says “Hey!”, followed by a lot of movement. We hear Two-Brains say “Ow”. After a few seconds, the lights come back on. The jailer and Two-Brains are on the floor together.)

Dr. Two-Brains: My blackout ray! Where’s my blackout ray? And my list?

Jailer: And my keys? They were on my belt-- (his pants fall down)

(The cell door closes, locking them both in.)

Glen: Hey, that totally worked! I’m free! Ha-ha-ha! I’m free! Woo-hoo! In your face! (walks off)

Dr. Two-Brains: GLEN!!!

Narrator: Meanwhile, up in the sky…

(Scene: WordGirl is flying, carrying Huggy with her. Huggy points at the ground.)

WordGirl: (gasps) Panic at the grocery store?

(With her super-hearing, she hears the grocery store manager saying, ”Help! Someone’s stealing all of our cheese! Oh, I can’t watch!”)

WordGirl: Cheese robbery? Sounds like Dr. Two-Brains. Come on, Huggy!

(She flies down and goes inside the grocery store.)

Grocery Store Manager: WordGirl! Thank goodness! Please, save us from Dr. Three-Brains!

WordGirl: Uh, I think you mean Dr. Two-Brains.

Grocery Store Manager: No, he said his name was Dr. Three-Brains. Ask him yourself, he’s in produce… aisle twelve!

WordGirl: Produce? That’s  unexpected .

(WordGirl hurries over. Glen is standing facing a display of onions. He has two strange bumps on top of his head.)

WordGirl: Alright, hold it there, Doctor--

Glen: Oh, heh, hello WordGirl!

WordGirl: (smiles and chuckles) Oh, hey Glen!

Glen: No, Dr. Three-Brains! Heh-heh.

WordGirl: (confused) Okay.

Glen: I have a list of the three things Dr. Two-Brains wants to steal more than anything in the world. I’m gonna prove I’m a better criminal when I  outdo  every crime on this list. Heh-heh-heh! Like everyone always says: Three brains are better than two!

WordGirl: Nobody says that.

Glen: For example, the first crime on the list was… (reading) “...to steal a lot of cheese and make a giant bowl of cheese soup.” LAME! I, Dr. Three-Brains, am gonna steal a bunch of onions and make a giant bowl of cheese and ONION soup! Ha-ha! See? Automatically better! Ha-ha-ha!

(Huggy is perched on a sign hanging from the ceiling above him. He leaps onto Glen’s head.)

Glen: Ahh! Monkey germs!

(Glen pulls out the blackout ray and fires it. This is followed by a lot of shuffling around. When the lights come back on, Glen is gone, WordGirl is tied up and Huggy is in the onion display, with one in his mouth.)

(Scene: WordGirl is again flying with Huggy a short time later.)

WordGirl: I can’t believe Glen got away from us! Pretty  unexpected .

(Huggy chatters at her.)

WordGirl: Oh,  unexpected . It means it’s a surprise, something you didn’t think would happen. Like when Glen fired that ray and all the lights went out and caught us off guard and escaped. It was completely  unexpected !

(Scoops goes by them in a hang-glider.)

Scoops: Hi, WordGirl!

WordGirl: Hi Scoops! (to Huggy) Or, like Scoops hang-gliding past us.  Unexpected !

(Huggy gives her a thumbs up.)

WordGirl: Now, how would Glen get a ray that can turn out all the lights? Not really his style to build one… seems more like--

(The scene abruptly cuts ahead to Two-Brains at the prison, after WordGirl shows up to question him.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, you can bet your boots that I built that blackout ray! That half-wit Glen stole it from me, along with my escape plan and the list of cheesy items I was planning to steal!

WordGirl: And now he’s running around with two rubber brains taped to his head, calling himself Dr. Three-Brains.

Dr. Two-Brains: What?! That’s copyrighted! We have to stop him.

WordGirl: We? Wow, that’s  unexpected . So you’re going to help us catch Glen?

Dr. Two-Brains: I have to! If he keeps this up, nobody will take multiple-brained villains seriously anymore! It’s bad for business.

WordGirl: Got it. Okay, so what’s the next item on your list?

Dr. Two-Brains: The world’s tallest cheesecake, on display today only at the Sports Dome. I’ve heard it’s so tall, it goes all the way up to the roof.

WordGirl: Giant cheesecake. Got it! (She and Huggy run off.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, one more thing! I designed the blackout ray to get stronger and stronger every time it’s used.

WordGirl: So…

Dr. Two-Brains: So, if Glen keeps using it, he may turn out ALL the lights in the city for GOOD!

WordGirl: (gasps) Oh no! We better hurry! Word UP! (takes off with Huggy)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ugh! That should be ME making the city’s lights go out!

Narrator: Moments later, at the Sports Dome…

(WordGirl flies into the Sportsdome with Huggy, and hovers above the giant cheesecake.)

WordGirl: Well, here’s the cheesecake. But no sign of Glen… yet.

(Huggy motions toward the cake, wanting to chow down on it.)

WordGirl: Easy, big fella.

(She hears something dropping from above them. She jumps out of the way, and Huggy jumps onto a ladder.)

WordGirl: Whoa, Huggy! What WAS that?

(She looks down onto the top of the cake, and sees a single strawberry has landed there.)

WordGirl: A strawberry? That’s  unexpected .

(From a room above them comes an evil laugh.)

Glen: Ha-ha-ha-ha!

WordGirl: Come on out Glen, and give yourself up!

Glen: My name is Dr. Three-Brains!

WordGirl: Yeah, I’m kinda having a hard time calling you that.

Glen: Why?

WordGirl: Well, I get what you’re going for, trying to  outdo  Dr. Two-Brains by calling yourself Dr. Three-Brains--

Glen: Yeah, yeah, that’s right!

WordGirl: And trying to  outdo  all of the crimes on his list?

Glen: Yeah? So?

WordGirl: So it’s just that-- to  outdo  means to do something greater or better than it’s been done before, and-- well…

Glen: Well… what?

WordGirl: I- I’m not sure this counts.

Glen: Sure it does! Two-Brains was gonna steal the world’s tallest cheesecake? Eh, big deal! I’m about to steal the world’s tallest STRAWBERRY cheesecake! Everyone knows that cheesecake is much better with strawberries!

(Huggy starts climbing up the ladder toward the ceiling.)

WordGirl: Yeah, strawberries. As in more than one?

Glen: Okay, okay, I got hungry on the way over here. But it doesn’t matter. One strawberry is better than none, so my crime is still better! Ha ha!

(Huggy has jumped down onto a beam that goes underneath the room where Glen is. He springs up into the room, surprising Glen.)

WordGirl: Ha! You may as well give up, Glen!

Glen: Oh, yeah? Well I think it’s past your bedtime, WordGirl! Hope you’re not afraid of the DARK! (He holds up the ray again and fires it.)

WordGirl: Oh no, the blackout ray!

(As WordGirl and Huggy move in on Glen, the inside of the Sportsdome goes pitch black. A struggle ensues. When the lights comes back on, WordGirl and Huggy have somehow switched outfits, and sure enough, Glen is gone.)

(Scene: Back at the prison.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Hello, WordGirl! Did you enjoy your cheesecake? (He makes sounds like a mouse chewing.) Or couldn’t you find any in the dark? (chuckles)

WordGirl: Hey, who’s side are you on?

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, MY side of course!

WordGirl: Right. Now about that list?

Dr. Two-Brains: Fine! The last item on my list is one tub of cottage cheese.

WordGirl: Cottage cheese? That’s it?

Dr. Two-Brains: No… an extra LARGE tub of super YUMMY cottage cheese, made from the milk of the town’s most famous cow, Bossy the Third.

WordGirl: Oh.

Dr. Two-Brains: Ah, Bossy. She’s only milked once per year, out at Peechum’s Dairy Farm, then it’s made into a priceless cottage cheese. And today is milking day!

WordGirl: Cottage cheese, Bossy the cow, Peechum’s Dairy. Got it.

Dr. Two-Brains: And remember, WordGirl, that was just MY idea for a crime! Glen will surely try to  outdo  it.

WordGirl: Yup.

Dr. Two-Brains: And remember, blackout ray, stronger each time?

WordGirl:  (getting frustrated)  Yep.

Dr. Two-Brains: Good. Oh, and WordGirl--

WordGirl: WHAT?

Dr. Two-Brains: Could you bring back a curd or two of that cottage cheese? (Makes smacking sounds with his mouth)

WordGirl: Uhh! (takes off with Huggy)

Narrator: WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face race to the dairy.

(Scene: Inside the dairy. Glen is there milking Bossy. WordGirl shows up behind him.)

WordGirl: You’re not getting away this time, Glen!

Glen: That’s what YOU think! I’ve already stolen the cottage cheese! See?

(He holds up a tub of cheese.)

Glen: Dr. Three-Brains, AWAY!

(He gets on top of Bossy, and kicks his heels against her.)

WordGirl: No!

Glen: YAH! Dr. Three-Brains away!

(He continues trying to get Bossy to move, but she just stays where she is.)

Glen: Come on! GO! Giddyap! Mush!

(WordGirl giggles.)

WordGirl: Okay, I gotta say, this is  unexpected . Trying to steal the cottage cheese AND the cow is actually a pretty smart way to  outdo  Two-Brains’ plan!

Glen: Thanks!

WordGirl: But using the cow for your getaway? Not so smart.

Glen: Oh yeah? Well at least I still have THIS! Ha-ha-ha-ha! (He holds up the blackout ray.)

WordGirl: No, Glen, the blackout ray gets stronger each time you use it, and next time you press that button, it could wipe out the lights in the whole city for GOOD!

Glen: My first brain believes you… and my second brain is a little bit confused...but my THIRD brain says you’re bluffing!

WordGirl: NO!

Glen: Nighty-night, WordGirl! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Huggy chatters and looks over at Bossy, who nods her head as if she understands. Then she flips her tail and knocks Glen off of her back.)

Glen: Hey!

(Glen lets go of the blackout ray, and Huggy catches it. Glen falls into a hay bale, and the tub of cottage cheese falls onto his head.)

WordGirl: Nice going, Huggy! And Bossy!

(The cow winks. WordGirl flies over to Glen, and pulls the “brains” off of his head.)

Glen: No fair-- OWW! My brains!

WordGirl: You won’t need these where you’re going!

Glen: Where am I going?

WordGirl: Uh-- back to jail.

Glen: (disappointed) Oh…

(Bossy moos at Huggy. Huggy laughs, and chatters back at him.)

WordGirl: I didn’t know you spoke cow!

(Bossy and Huggy wink at each other.)

(Scene: The prison. WordGirl and Huggy are talking to Two-Brains.)

WordGirl: Well, I never expected to say this, but-- thanks, Dr. Two-Brains!

Dr. Two-Brains: You’re welcome. Could you do me a favor, and not tell any of the other villains, hmm?

WordGirl: Sure. You know, we made a pretty good team! (looks down) If only things were different.

Dr. Two-Brains: Yes, it’s too bad. But I’m not giving up my evil quest for cheese!

WordGirl: And I’ll never tire of bringing evil-doers to justice!

(The warden drives by in a cart, carrying Glen, still stuck in the hay bale.)

Warden: All right, come on Furlblam-- move it out!

Glen: Glen Furlblam… AWAY!

WordGirl: Well, see you around, Doc!

Dr. Two-Brains: Not if I see you first!

(He points at her and winks. She winks back, then takes off.)

Narrator: And so, with some help from an  unexpected  ally, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face once again prove that they can  outdo  the dark and dastardly deeds of any old evil-doer! Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of… WordGirl!

(During the closing sequence, Glen is shown to be in a cell with the Energy Monster, and is trying to shield himself from the bright light. Then WordGirl and Huggy are seen riding Bossy, wearing cowboy hats, and ride off into the sunset.)