Scary with a Side of Butter


 * Narrator: It was a dark and windy night at the old botsford place. Ooh. I want my blanky.
 * Becky: Bampy, tell us a scaaaary story.
 * Tim: Aah!
 * Becky: It's just the popcorn, Dad.
 * Tim: Oh.
 * Becky: How about an exciting legend? Actually, Bob, a legend can be a thrilling, made-up story.
 * Bampy: Or a true one! Mine'll curl your socks!
 * Tim: Aah!
 * Bampy: Now, grab your popcorn and gather round. According to the first settlers, this entire town was build on wild artichoke fields.
 * Becky: Oh. Artichokes are a herb-like, leafy plant that's eaten as a vegetable.
 * Bampy: Ooh, and they're delicious, except the ones beneath this ground are evil! Many years ago, I delivered diary products door to door. I was a milk man, and I heard the artichoke legend and how the spirits of the Artichokes had vowed to rise up, destroy our little city, and take back their land. I thought it was all hooey until the day it all came true!
 * Atrichoke: (Growls)
 * Tim: This is not an apporite story for bedtime!
 * Bampy: Oh, sorry, kids!
 * Tim: Actually, I meant my bedtime. I scare easily.
 * Becky: Then what happened, Bampy?
 * Bampy: Well, the town declared me a hero, and we boiled the heart of that pesky plant, dipped it in butter and ate it. Heh, heh. It's predicted the angry artichokes will rise up again on the third day or the fourth month of the 60th year from my 20th birthday.
 * Tim: What, what a relief. I mean, that's like a gillion years from now.
 * Becky: No, actually, they'll be here tomorrow!
 * Bampy: At noon!
 * Tim: Be under my bed if you need me! And don't forget to brush! And floss. Good night!
 * Bampy: If more come tomorrow, I'll fight them off again with--what did I fight them off with?
 * Becky: You never said.
 * Bampy: Oh, well. It'll come to me. What's important the victory party. Then it's artichoke and butter. Mmm, mmm. Mmm, mmm. Mmm, mmm.