Battle of the Planets

Battle of the Planets

A few pyramid-like structures lie on the empty surface of Mars. The face on Mars is also visible. An Irken probe stands on the steps of one of the steps of one of the structures. The head region of the probe extends and looks around, taking snapshots with the lenses on its head. It takes pictures of the face on Mars and the various structures, then crouches and leaps off of the pyramid. Just as the Probe hits the ground, the boosters on the bottom of it fire up so the impact doesn't hurt it. It looks at the Mars Lander, taking pictures of it. Lights glow from the Irken Probe's torso as the head contracts into it and locks into place. Boosters on the bottom of the Irken Probe start up and launch it into space. As it flies up, it causes bits of gravel to fly up which almost hit the Mars Lander. The Mars Lander jitters. The word 'Meanwhile...' appears against a black background. Cut to the Irken Armada. The Irken Armada approaches planet Blorch.

Red's Voice: Welcome planetary conversion team!

Cut to the inside of The Massive. Red and Purple stand on a hover platform above a crowd of Irkens. A large view screen shows Blorch.

Red: Welcome to Blorch, the latest addition to the Irken Empire, and most importantly, the first planet to fall victim to our latest effort at universal conquest, Operation Impending Doom II!

Red holds his arms up as the crowd cheers.

Crowd member: Almighty Tallest rocks!

Red and Purple lean on the railing of the hover platform.

Red: Now we erase the remaining organics on Blorch, paving the way for... I dunno, maybe a parking structure planet?

Purple lifts his hands up.

Purple: Yeah! Parking Structure Planet!

The crowd cheers.

Red: But first, we'd like to acknowledge the contribution of one very special soldier without whom, this victory and those surely to come wouldn't be possible!

Purple: Invader Zim!

The crowd cheers.

Red: You see, if Zim hadn't been exiled to the far reaches of the galaxy, he would be here with us... ruining everything!

Purple: And we all remember how he messed up Operation Impending Doom I! Am I right?

Irken in crowd: I don't!

Purple: Seize that guy, and uh... throw him out the airlock!

Two Irkens wearing goggles and jetpacks fly into the crowd. The sound of an Irken screaming and the airlock being open and shut is heard.

Purple: That was the wrong guy, but that's okay! I think everyone gets the point!

Red: So let's give a big cheer for Invader Zim for being so far away!

The crowd cheers.

Irken in crowd: Invader Zim rocks!

Red lights start flashing and make a beeping noise. Red makes hand motions for everyone to quite down.

Red: Quite everybody, quite!

The sound of the crowd dies down.

Red: Heh heh heh, we have a little surprise for you. It looks like we're getting a report from Zim right now! Transfer it to the main view screen!

The main view screen changes from showing the planet Blorch to showing Zim in a bear suit. The crowd cheers.

Zim: Well, thank you! How very well deservant of me! Invader Zim reporting in, sirs!

Zim salutes.

Red: Yes, greetings Zim. Keeping busy it looks like! Doing us proud!

Zim: Thanks you, thank you! Yes... Yes I am. I'm in a bear suit!

The crowd cheers.

Zim: Please, enough!

The cheering dies down.

Zim: Following invader protocol, I have sent probes out to the surrounding planets to check them for potential use!

Red: Uh huh...

Zim: Scans from a planet named 'Mars' are intriguing. You can expect a full report when I have more information!

Purple: Thank you... Invader Zim!

The Tallest try not to laugh.

Purple: Without your efforts out there the entire operation would surely crumble!

Red laughs.

Zim: Yes. Yes it would.

Red: Let's hear it for Zim!

The crowd cheers. Zim salutes. The main view screen changes from showing Zim to showing Blorch once again. Purple puts a hand on his forehead.

Purple: Idiot.

Zim sits at a chair in his lab in the bear suit, looking at his view screens which show only static. Zim gets out of the chair.

Zim: Truly I am amazing!

Zim pulls off the head part of the bear suit.

Zim: How could they not cheer the very sight of my progress?

Zim walks over to the elevator door. A light above the door flickers from red to green. The doors open and Zim walks inside. The doors close behind him.

Zim: Still I am becoming impatient (the elevator platform begins to lower) with my incredibly subtle infiltration of this planet, and am growing ever hungrier to be the destruction of the humans. Destruction is nice!

The Irken probe enters Earth's atmosphere, glowing as it heats up. The probe enters the open roof of Zim's house, followed by several other probes. The roof closes behind them. A control panel in the elevator beeps.

Computer: Long range space probes have returned!

Zim: Excellent timing! Begin data download!

Zim presses a button on the control panel. A hatch on the elevator floor opens and sucks Zim in, sending him down a tube into the data downloader. He lands in a curved chair and begins typing at the control panel. The tube that Zim fell through detaches and the data downloader lowers deeper into the lab. A view screen on Zim's left shows the probes. Zim continues typing.

Computer: Accessing data from Mars probes!

Zim looks over at the view screen that shows the probes. The data downloader uses its mechanical arms to latch to the wall and pull itself towards it. The data downloader sends wires into sockets on the wall, followed by a covering that covers the wires. Zim watches on the view screen as one of the probe's head extends and wires from the ceiling enter its torso. Electricity surges through these wires. The electricity surges through the sockets and into the data downloader. Zim presses button on the control panel as he looks at the pictures from the probe which are shown on the view screens.

Zim: Some of this landscape looks unnatural as though nature was not involved in its formation! But the sensors show no life forms! Whatever wiped out these 'Marsoids' must've truly been incredible!

Zim wiggles his fingers as he says 'Marsoids.'

Zim: Incredible enough maybe to assist in my annihilation of the humans!

Zim presses a button and an intercom device lowers. Zim shouts into it.

Zim: GIR!

In the kitchen, GIR has a small table set up on top of the kitchen table. He and a pig sit at that table.

Zim's voice: GIR!

GIR has cupcake all over his face. He is about to sip some tea when Zim's voice catches his attention.

Zim's voice: GIR!

GIR looks behind himself.

Zim's voice: Meet me in the launch hanger!

GIR sets down his cup of tea.

GIR: I gotta go, pig! I'll see you later!

The pig blinks. GIR climbs onto the table, knocking the tea and cupcakes over.

GIR: I GOTTA GO PIG! I'LL SEE YOU LATER!

GIR's feet boosters activate and he flies out of the kitchen. The table sets on fire and the pig is fried. Cut to the Voot Runner. Zim presses buttons on the control panel. GIR lands next to him. The wind shield closes.

Zim: We're going to Mars!

GIR squeals happily. The roof of the house opens as the thrusters of the voot runner activate. The Voot Runner flies out and then launches into space. The Voot Runner speeds into the distance.

GIR's voice: Are we there yet?

Cut to Dib's house. Dib sits at his laptop talking to a member of the swollen eyeballs, Agent Darkbootie. Darkbootie appears as just a silhouette. Several pictures from Mars cameras are scattered on Dib's desk.

Dib: The camera stations have been there for years, Agent Darkbootie, but when they didn't find any life within the first week, NASAPLACE gave up on them. But I haven't! Look what I found!

Dib holds up one of the pictures to the laptop screen.

Dib: This is what one of the camera stations looks like!

The picture shows the Mars Lander. Dib holds up a different picture, one showing Zim's Irken probe in the corner.

Dib: This one was taken a couple of nights ago!

Dib points to the Irken Probe.

Dib: Look up here!

Dib: NASAPLACE says this is a thumbprint! That is no thumbprint!

Agent Darkbootie speaks with a computer-disguised voice.

Agent Darkbootie: Hmmm... You've done well, Agent Mothman, but the Swollen Eyeball need conclusive evidence before finding anything as confirmed alien activity. Let me know if you find more. Darkbootie out!

The laptop goes into static. Dib shuts it off. He holds the pictures and turns around in his chair. He looks over at the window. A few toys of supernatural creatures decorate the window seal. Dib gets up and walks towards the window. He holds up a picture of the moon and matches it up with the real moon. He lowers the picture and glances back and forth from it to the moon. Cut to space. The voot runner flies towards Mars. GIR sleeps on Zim's head.

Zim: Get off my head, GIR!

GIR wakes up and leans upwards.

Zim: I have a good feeling about this lead!

GIR slides off of Zim's head and onto the floor, where he curls up and falls asleep.

Zim: I can almost taste the humans being destroyed. It's delicious! This Mars holds the key, I just know it! New words of praise will have to be invented just so they can pr- GET OFF MY HEAD!

The camera pans away revealing GIR is on Zim's head again. He leans upwards and rubs his eye.

Zim: The taste of impending human annihilation grows stronger in my amazing head!

Zim smacks his lips. GIR imitates him. The Voot Runner finally reaches Mars' surface. It skids to a stop and GIR flies out of the open ship.

GIR: Woo! Woo!

Zim steps up in his Irken space suit. The helmet bubble closes over his head and then becomes invisible. Zim looks around. GIR squeals as he floats through the air. He flies like a plane.

Zim: Now, let's find out what destroyed the people who built this ugly thing!

GIR crashes to the ground and skids along the surface, stopping right in front of the Mars Lander. He looks into the camera. The Mars Lander is making broken-whirring noises.

GIR: Ohh, it's broken!

GIR pulls on the camera. Zim starts climbing up the face on Mars. Cut to Dib's house. Dib stands next to Prof. Membrane in his lab, holding one of the pictures. Prof. Membrane is hunched over his desk, working on something.

Dib: Dad, as a man of science, you at least have to admit that these pictures show something... freaky and of some spooky alien origin!

Dib holds up a picture of an Irken device flying over Mars.

Prof. Membrane: I'll say it again! Those stations haven't been monitored for one simple reason! There are no aliens! None able to travel the massive distance to our planet, anyhow! You've been watching those transmissions since you were a baby with an enormous head!

Prof. Membrane lifts his hands up to demonstrate how big Dib's head was.

Prof. Membrane: It's time to move on, son! Real science... try it!

Prof. Membrane lifts up what he was working on- a ventriloquist doll of himself. Dib walks over to his bed and lies down on it, setting up his laptop. He turns it on. It shows four camera views of Mars. The first three show generic landscape, but the last is all static. Dib stares at the screen. GIR's face flashes among the static, squealing, but then goes back to static.

Dib: What was that!?!

Dib presses a button so that camera view takes up the full screen. Dib looks closely at it. It starts working again, showing GIR.

GIR: It's fixed! Oh yeah! Woo!

GIR does a little jig.

Zim's voice: GIR! Come here!

GIR walks away. The camera view changes to show Zim standing on top of the face on Mars.

Dib: Oh man!

Zim stands on the nose of the face. Nearby is the skull of a Marsoid. GIR climbs up the face and stops at the lips.

Zim: This is pointless, GIR! This planet's a rock! A useless wasteland!

Zim grunts.

Zim: Whoever they were, they left no sign of what wiped them out. They just left these stupid structures here to taunt me. I HATE THEM! And I hope they di-

Zim kick the skull and stops mid sentence.

Zim: Huh. Oh yeah.

GIR sits on the lips of the face looking up the nostrils.

GIR: I can see up its nose!

Zim: This means more time on Earth...

Zim tosses the skull into the air. A laser bolt from GIR's eyes blows up the skull while its in the air.

Zim: ...with the stench of humanity! Filthy humans!

Zim stamps his foot. The face starts beeping.

Zim: What is that sound?

Mars starts to shake. Glowing light shoots from the nostrils of the face. The nose starts to split apart, shooting light through the crevasses. The mouth opens, spewing out light, and GIR falls in.

Zim: GIR!

The eyes open, shooting light, and smoke starts shooting out from under the face. Metal devices extend from the open eyes. The nose lights up and thrusters extend from the nostrils. The separate parts of the nose lift into the air. Zim balances himself on the tip of one. The two pieces split into four, and Zim hops off of them onto the ground. He grunts as he hits the ground. Dib watches on his laptop.

Dib: Dad! Gaz! Come see this!

Prof. Membrane: Please! No more foolishness, son!

Gaz: Your voice is stupid!

Cut back to Mars. Zim slowly gets up. Zim looks up and sees that the metal parts extending from the face have formed a seat and control panel. GIR is clinging to the parts as they extend. He falls and lands on the ground near another skull. Zim walks over to GIR. GIR rolls over. Bright lights pour from the distance. Smoke rises as something extends from the ground. Zim grunts as something emerges. Massive metal parts burst forth and encircle the entire planet at insane speeds, forming the shapes of five circles on one side of the planet. The area within those circles is destroyed and massive jet engines emerge from the holes. Zim struggles to stay standing. GIR clings to his chest. Zim looks up at the chair and control panel. He climbs up and sits down. GIR walks on the back of the chair and sits on the head of the chair. Zim leans back in the chair and the control panel leans towards him. Zim presses the control panel and a holographic Marsoid head appears.

Marsoid: Welcome pilot! How you doin'!?!

Zim: Who are you? What is all this?

Marsoid: I am all that is left of my people, an interactive instruction manual for the incredible vessel you are now helming!

Zim: Your people were instruction manuals?

Marsoid: No. No, huh.

Zim glances down.

Zim: Vessel!?! This thing's a ship!?!

Marsoid: My people worked themselves into extinction converting our planet into a navigatiable space vessel using similar technology tested and proven on another nearby planet!

Zim: What other planet?

Marsoid: That's not important right now!

Cut back to Dib's room.

Dib: Another planet?

Cut back to Mars.

Zim: Why would you do all that?

Marsoid: Because it's cool.

GIR: Mmm hmmm..

The thrusters on Mars activate. Mars starts moving. As it goes into space, it looses its atmosphere. Zim crashes Mars into one of its moons. The impact sends GIR flying and screaming. Zim backs up slowly, the Mars ship making truck-reverse noises. Zim backs up into the other moon. Cut back to the Irken Armada. The Tallest are still on the hover platform above the crowd.

Red: The invader behind this important first victory is... uh...

The Irken advisor to the Tallest whispers that it is Invader Skoodge to Red. The advisor points to the hallway where Skoodge stands. Skoodge wipes off his shirt, then stands proudly, making a farting sound.

Red: Invader... Skoodge!?!

The crowd gasps. Several hover cameras surround Skoodge.

Red (to Purple): Uh... This can't be right! That cannot be the poster boy for Irken galactic conquest. He's so... short!

Purple: And ugly! I mean look at him!

Skoodge walks towards the Tallest, making squishy noises as he walks.

Skoodge: Greetings, my Tallest! As the invader responsible for this planet's downfall, I get to launch the traditional final cannon sweep, right?

Red: Um, yeah.. Uh...

Skoodge: So that no Irken boot has to come into contact with any unsavory alien filth! Hooah!

Skoodge does a pelvic thrust, making a fart sound.

Red: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, well, there's a new tradition now!

Purple: Man you're ugly!

Skoodge: And short!

Red: The new tradition is that you get to be launched as part of the cannon sweep!

A hatch opens in the wall and a large device lowers. It extends to the floor, where it parks. Red and Purple approach it and then Purple opens a hatch in the front of it. Skoodge glances at them.

Purple: That's right! In you go!

Skoodge crawls into the hatch. Purple shuts the hatch behind him. Skoodge presses up against a clear dome.

Red: Commence organic sweep!

A large gun launches Skoodge screaming into space. He crashes into Blorch.

Purple: Uh.. you!

Purple points to Invader Grapa who is standing in the crowd.

Purple: Your name is now Skoodge, conqueror of Blorch!

The hovering cameras surround Grapa. Grapa stands proudly. On Blorch's surface, lasers begin bombarding it, causing the slaughtering rat people to scatter. Hundreds of lasers start hitting the surface, blowing up everything. Inside The Massive, Red and Purple laugh. The organic sweep is visible through the window, and the Armada can be seen blasting the one-eyed Irken symbol into the surface of the planet.

Purple: Heh... Re... Remember.. Remember the time Zim called us and he was... he was covered from head to foot in meat?

Red laughs.

Red: Yeah! The meat ended up fusing to his flesh, hehe, and he almost went blind when it invaded his eye sockets!

Red laughs.

Red: Meat!

Red and Purple laugh.

Purple: Meat!

Red and Purple laugh some more. The main view screen beeps and Irken text appears on it.

Red: Oh, it's Zim, it's Zim, hold on! Hold on!

Red hushes Purple. Purple laughs. A control panel rises from the floor. Red is about to press a button on it when he starts laughing too.

Red: Ooh, ooh, okay.

Red presses the button. Zim appears on the view screen in his space suit piloting Mars.

Zim: Greetings Tallest! I bring more evidence of my unbelievable skills!

Purple laughs.

Purple: More evidence!

Zim: Yes! I've made an exciting discovery! The planet Mars (an image of Mars appears) is actually a giant spaceship (the jet engines and Zim in the cockpit add on to the picture) built by floating heads! I'm going to fly it to Earth (the image of the Mars ship moves towards an image of Earth with a smiley face added) where I will roll it around on the surface (the animation shows the Mars ship rolling around on Earth. The smiley face becomes sad with Xs for eyes) squishing all the Earth life and leaving it free for us to conquer without resistance!

Purple tries not to laugh. An image of Zim standing on Earth holding a flag with the one-eyed Irken symbol over Earth appears.

Zim: Prepare the fleet, for I will be firing the first volley in Earth's organic sweep tomorrow! Invader Zim signing off!

The screen goes black and the smiling Irken symbol appears. Red and Purple look at each other. They burst out laughing. Cut to Dib's room. Dib watches Zim from his laptop.

Dib: I have to stop him!

Dib runs to the front door and grabs the handle. He sees Prof. Membrane sitting in a chair in the corner and holding the puppet of himself.

Prof. Membrane: Where are you going at this hour?

Dib: Oh, you know...

Prof. Membrane (speaking with high pitched voice through puppet): To save the Earth?

Dib: Yes.

Dib opens the door, runs out, and shuts it behind him.

Prof. Membrane: My poor insane son.

Prof. Membrane and his puppet look at each other. Dib runs towards NASAPLACE, running past security while screaming incomprehensible gibberish about the end of the world. The two security guards who where rocket shaped helmets don't react.

Guard 1: Was that the uh...

Guard 2: Hmm hmmm.

Guard 1: ...crazy UFO kid?

Guard 2: Yup.

Guard 1: Eh...

Dib enters the control room in NASAPLACE. The mission director holds a cup of coffee. He turns around and sees Dib. The coffee in his cup keep sloshing around and getting all over his shirt.

Mission director: Oh no! Dib!

Dib runs over to the mission director.

Dib: I know what you're gonna say, but you have to believe me this time!

The mission director sips his coffee. It runs down his face. He wipes it off with his arm.

Dib: Mars is a giant spaceship and it's being piloted by an alien-

Mission director: Is this that Zig you always talk about?

The mission director sips some more coffee and even more runs down his face.

Dib: Zim! He's activated the face on Mars and now he's flying the whole planet like some kind of horrible-

The mission director sips the coffee some more, letting more run down his face.

Dib: Wow, this sounds really stupid, doesn't it?

The mission director nods then sips more coffee. More coffee runs down his face.

Dib: Anyhow, the floating head said that there was another planet, and that they modified it with giant engines! We have to find out which one!

The janitor, who is dumping trash into a bin labeled "top secret !nasaplace! trash," glares at Dib.

Mission director: Alright, let me get this straight. He's flying... Eh, hmm..

The mission director holds his cup of coffee vertically and the contents spill to the floor.

Mission director: What's he flying?

Dib points at the camera station view screens.

Dib: There! Look! You can see him on the Martian camera feeds!

The view screens show Zim in the Mars cockpit. The words "Mars project" "don't look" are written on planks that are tapped to the viewscreen. A NASAPLACE lackey emerges from the floor, blocking the view screen.

NASAPLACE lackey: Sorry kid, since they cut the funding we're not even allowed to look at those monitors.

The mission director takes a sip of his coffee, it leaking from his mouth as usual, and he winks and holds the coffee cup up at the lackey. He then takes another sip. Suddenly, alarms start sounding. One of the workers who is examining the radar starts yelling.

NASAPLACE screamer: WHOAAA! It's... ohhhh, ohh! I think it's an asteroid! It's huge! Eeeeuu! It's headed straight for us!

Dib: It's Zim! Just look at the screens!

Mission director: Okay, do we have to go through the whole funding thing again?

Zim laughs as he pilots Mars towards Earth.

Zim: People of Earth! Prepare to taste the mighty foot of my planet!

As Zim says "foot" he sticks his foot out and wiggles it. Zim laughs some more. Cut to The Massive. Purple holds a small model of Earth and Red holds a small model of Mars. Red rolls Mars over Earth.

Red (imitating Zim): I'm Zim! I'm squishing out all life!

Red and Purple laugh. The stop laughing and catch their breath. Red throws Mars at Purple and they start laughing again. Cut to NASAPLACE. Dib walks out of the control room angrily. He almost walks into the janitor, who is standing outside.

Dib: Wah!?

Janitor: I believe you! I think I can help you!

Dib: What are you gonna do? Clean me?

Janitor: The other planet you mentioned. You know, the one you said was also fitted with the giant engines? It can only be Mercury!

The janitor puts his hand on a photo rolled up in his back pocket. He glances around with shifty eyes, then pulls the picture out and unrolls it.

Janitor: There!

The janitor points to a butt structure on Mercury in the photo.

Janitor: The butt on Mercury! A lesser known structure than the face on Mars, but one just as mysterious!

Dib grabs the photo.

Dib: Yes! That's it! Now how do I get to the butt?

The janitor opens the janitor closet. Dib walks in. The janitor glances around to make sure no one is watching, then walks in and shuts the door behind him. Dib stands in front of a small ship. The janitor walks up and stands next to him.

Dib: What is it?

Janitor: It's an old monkey ship, from back in the days when they used to shoot monkeys into space!

The janitor opens up the hatch to the monkey ship and sniffs the inside.

Janitor: Ahh, you can still smell the monkey!

Dib: Does it still work?

Janitor: I've done all the repairs myself!

The janitor grabs Dib and places him inside.

Dib: Why would you help me? Nobody ever helps me!

Janitor: Let's just say my eyes are swollen!

Dib: Agent Darkbootie!?

The monkey ship beeps as it turns on. Dib presses many switches and turns a few knobs. He pulls some levers and puts on a space suit. The janitor (agent Darkbootie) closes the hatch to the ship, gives thumbs up, and leaves the janitor closet. The ship shakes as it is about to take off. Bits of debris from the ceiling fall. The ceiling splits open. The floor collapses revealing that the monkey ship continues under ground. Several tubes hooking the monkey ship to the wall detach and Dib presses the launch button. The ship flies into the air. As it shoots into the sky, the 'L' in NASAPLACE falls off and hits the ground, causing the security guards to scatter. Once the monkey ship leaves Earth's atmosphere, the end of it detaches, followed by the middle segment, until only the compartment with Dib in it remains. Cut to Mars. GIR sings as he sculpts a mini smiling version of the face on Mars in the sand. There also are some sculptures of pyramids too. He places a mini Irken flag on the face. Zim moves the throttle back and forth.

Zim: This is taking too long! I told the Tallest to bring the fleet tomorrow! At this rate we won't be done with our destroying by then!

Earth is visible in the distance.

Zim: There must be some boosters!

Zim examines the control panel. He sees the icon for boosters.

Zim: Ah! Here! Hold on to something GIR!

GIR sits up and holds onto himself. Zim presses the booster button and then presses another button. The thrusters on Mars die down then shoot out huge blasts, sending the planet flying towards Earth at incredible speeds. Zim laughs evilly. GIR's sand sculptures blow away. GIR screams as he slides away. He flies into the air and lands on Zim's head. He clings to his head and then starts laughing with Zim. The holographic Marsoid head appears and starts laughing too. Dib flies by in the monkey ship, screaming. Zim stops laughing and looks behind him.

Zim: That sounded like... no, couldn't be.

Zim starts laughing again. On Earth, a man crashes his car into a stop light, causing it to fall down on his car. A fire hydrant is knocked down and people are running by, screaming. A poop cola truck runs over another car. A hobo stands in the street as the people run by screaming.

Hobo: We're all doomed! Doomed!

Cut back to Mars. Zim relaxes, eating a sandwich with the Irken insignia on it will GIR pilots. The people stop to look at Mars, making impressed noises. One of the people is Noogum's mom.

Hobo: Hey! We're all doomed, remember?

The people scream and run again. Cut back to Mars. Zim pilots as GIR relaxes, eating a sandwich. Mars. starts to set on fire as it enter the atmosphere. Zim and GIR laugh, GIR roasts a weenie. Mars gets even closer. Zim and GIR's heads set on fire.

Zim: Now, slow into squishing speed!

Zim pulls a lever and presses a button. Mars slows down. The people hide in the sewers and watch from the sewage drain. One of them tosses a rat out of the sewage drain and it scampers along the street. One guy tries to help a fat man fit into a man hole. Courtney Lilly sits at a picnic table in the park drinking a can of poop when he sees Mars.

Courtney: Huh? Huh!?!

He starts screaming as Mars lowers to about a foot over him. He leans back so it won't crush him. It lands on his can of Poop Cola. He screams louder and shakes his head. Mars starts crushing the can. He screams some more. Cut to a view in space of Mars resting on Earth. Courtney's screams can be heard echoing in space.

Courtney (voice only): Oh no! Oh no! Oh ho! Oh no! No! No! No! No! Nooooo!

He starts screaming. Cut back to Earth's surface. Licka is crying because the ice cream she was eating fell out of the cone. She scoops it back in and starts licking it, but it falls out again and she cries some more. Courtney is still screaming, when all of the sudden Mercury knocks Mars out of the way. His poop cola flies into the air. Mars spins out of control. Zim grunts as he regains control.

Dib: Not while I'm around, Zim!

Dib pilots Mercury from in between the butt cheeks on the butt of Mercury. Several cameras are in place next to the driver's seat.

Dib: Don't tell me you actually thought you'd win this!

Zim: Oh you horrible interfering Dib!

The abandoned monkey ship lies next to the butt.

Zim: Taste the mighty doom of my moons!

Zim presses two buttons shaped like moons on the control panel. On the back of Mars, two massive grappling hooks emerge and shoot towards Mars' moons (which have been following Mars this whole time). The grappling hooks close over the moons and send the moons hurtling towards Mercury. Dib panics as they come at him and crash into Mercury. The split apart on impact and the pieces fly behind him into space. Dib pulls some levers and flies behind Earth. Zim gets a confused look on his face. GIR floats around behind him and catches his rubber piggy which is also floating there. GIR hugs the piggy and it squeaks, and GIR floats away. Zim glances around, looking for Dib. He spots Dib coming right for him. Zim flies Mars out of the way just in time and Dib flies past him. Dib turns around and chases Zim. As Mercury closes in, GIR waves. When it almost collides with Mars again, Zim and GIR scream. Zim and Dib fly over the surface of the sun. Mars heats up as it gets too close. They fly away from the sun. They fly in space, both cockpits next to each other.

Zim: You shouldn't interfere with a superior force, Dib! You'd've been better off just staying on your planet and getting squished just like everybody else!

Dib: Well, you shouldn't of bothered coming to Earth because I'll stop you at every turn!

Zim flies Mars away. An Irken flag brushes Dib as Mars flies away. Dib follows closely on the chase. Zim does a barrel roll, causing his cheeks to pull back. He grunts as the g-force hits his face. Zim pilots Mars towards Saturn. Zim flies into the ring, knocking away all the rocks in the ring that hit it. Dib passes under the rings and the Zim flies into the air. Dib flies Mercury straight up through the rings. Zim glances behind him and sees Mercury right behind him. Zim grins and then shuts off the thrusters. Dib screams as he collides into Mars. Zim flies forward away while Mercury's thrusters malfunction. Mercury spins. Dib is caught between the butt cheeks. Zim flies away. GIR is clinging to the Irken flag attached to Zim's seat. Zim looks in his rearview mirror and sees Mercury catching up.

Zim: Noo!

GIR appears in the rear view mirror. Zim looks up at GIR who is clinging to the flag.

Zim: GIR! Go take care of the Earth boy!

GIR goes into serious mode and groans. His feet turn into jet packs and he flies towards Mercury. GIR lands in front of Dib and returns to normal mode. He presses a button on the control panel.

GIR: What's this do?

GIR presses another.

GIR: What's that do?

Headlights on the butt of mercury straight blinking.

GIR: What's that do?

GIR presses another button.

GIR: What's this do?

GIR presses another button.

GIR: What's that do?

GIR presses another button.

GIR: What's this do?

A car alarm noise activates.

Dib: No!

GIR: What's that do?

Dib screams. He tries to pilot Mercury, but it spins out of control.

GIR: What's this do? What's that do? What's this do? What's that do? What's that!?! What's that!?!

Zim: Maybe that little robot isn't such a bad evil minion after all!

GIR: What's that dooo!

GIR presses the control panel with his head.

GIR: What's it do?

GIR presses the control panel with his head.

GIR: What's it do?

Dib taps his shoulder.

Dib: Hey! Go away!

GIR: Okey dokey!

GIR's jet feet activate and GIR goes to another part of Mercury's surface, where he walks around. Dib regains control of Mercury and flies toward Zim. He soon catches up. Mercury closes in behind Mars. As it gets closer, Zim's antennae stand up. Zim looks behind himself, surprised. He grinds his teeth. He looks over at the asteroid belt, where many asteroids crash into each other.

Zim: Let's see if you have the piloting skills to maneuver through the asteroid belt, evil Dib thing!

Zim laughs as he flies straight into the asteroid belt.

Dib: That's just stupid.

Dib stops in front of the asteroid belt.

Zim: Look at that cowardly human! We'll see who's stupid when-

Zim screams when an asteroid almost hits him. At flies behind him and hits Mars' surface. Zim screams as many large asteroids almost hit him. One breaks off the cockpit, sending Zim falling to the surface of Mars. He grunts as he hits the ground and grunts as he scrambles to the voot runner, narrowly avoiding smaller asteroids. He gets in the voot runner and closes the wind shield. As he flies away, several asteroids bang him up. He grunts as they hit him. Zim flies the voot runner away, abandoning Mars.

Dib: You might as well head back to your home planet, Zim! I've recorded this whole thing! Irrifutable proof of your existence! There's no way you can-

Dib stops mid sentance when he notices his camera is gone, ripped from the wires.

Dib: That little robot! He took my cameras! Noooo!

Cut back to The Massive. The alarms sound again.

Purple: It's Zim. Are you ready for this?

Red: I- I just started breathing again from the last one!

The main view screen shows Zim in his lab.

Zim: Mission accomplished, my Tallest! I have rid this solar system of Mars!

Purple: I thought you were trying to destroy the Earth.

Zim: Oh! Yes. That! You heard wrong! This time I was trying to get rid of Mars. You know, just a little warm up before I destroy the humans! Yeah, see, I'll do Earth next! I'm an unstoppable death machine, you know.

GIR swings by, clinging to a wire and holding Dib's camera.

GIR: Woo!

Zim: Well, Invader Zim signing off!

The transmission ends and the main view screen goes back to showing Blorch. The Tallest and the crowd of Irkens laugh.

Purple: Unstoppable death machine!!! Did he say unstoppable death machine!?!

Red: Just a little warm up!

Red laughs.

Red: A warm up!

The main view screen shows Mars fly by, crashing into the Irken fleet. No one notices.

Purple: Wait, wait, did he say unstoppable death machine!?!