Bat in the Belfry

1 [stirring music] "Holy golly willikers, Wingnut!" "I see him, Screwloose!" "Skullface is a GIANT!" Run, old chum, run!â - Ha-ha yeah! - [cat meows] "The Adventures of Wingnut and Screwloose. " These old vintage comics are the best! [chomps, then sighs] Wingnut and Screwloose aren't bad, but you can't tell me they're better than Arachnid-Man or Superb Man or even the Indelible Bulge. Eh, none of those even come close to the best comic ever "The Fantastic Four Food Groups. " You're kidding me. The "FFFG"? Ooh, talking food. So dark and brooding. Hey, that food has real depth and emotion, man. - [both laughing] - Get on the bus! Whoa! Hmm I've been having headaches and weird nightmares about space and other galaxies. I don't see anything physically wrong with you, April. You're probably just adjusting to life back on Earth. I don't know, Donnie. My seventh sense tells me it's not that. It's that freaky crystal she never takes off. Hmm. I don't think a crystal could give you headaches, but let me take a look at it. - both: Aah! - No! Get away from it. Whoa, you're acting like it's your "precious. " You're addicted to that thing, April. I said back off me. Okay. Okay. It's just a crystal. No big deal. Wow. I'm seeing particles and structures I've never seen before. I'm gonna try an experiment. Huh? [suspenseful music] [beeping and whirring] [gasps] Aah! [electricity crackling] [all gasp] Aah! What is that, Donnie? Trouble. [rousing hip-hop music] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell, turtle power Here we go, it's a lean, green ninja team On the scene, cool teens doing ninja things So extreme, out the sewer like laser beams Get rocked with the shell-shocked pizza kings Can't stop these radical dudes The secret of the ooze made the chosen few Emerge from the shadows to make their move The good guys win, and the bad guys lose [growling] Leonardo's the leader in blue Does anything it takes to get his ninjas through Donatello is the fellow who has a way with machines Raphael's got the most attitude on the team Michelangelo, he's one of a kind And you know just where to find him when it's party time Master Splinter taught 'em every single skill they need To be one lean, mean, green, incredible team Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell, turtle power Um, Donnie? Some sciencey explanation I won't understand would be cool. I I just don't know. It's alive. [orb whooshing] all: Ah! [electricity crackling] What did you do this time, Donnie? [whooshing, crackling] all: Aah! Ooh, tingly. [whooshing] Where the heck did it come from? April's Aeon crystal. But whatever it was, it's gone now. [electricity pulsing] "Monoculus, let Screwloose go, or I'll have no choice but to use my Wingnut-a-Rang!" See? That's Monoculus of the planet Zoltagg. He's space emperor supreme of all floating eyeballs in the galaxy. [pounding on door] [cat meows] Mikey! Sensei wants to see us. [groans] Looks like comic book fun will have to wait. - Come on, Ice Cream Kitty. - [cat meows] [orb whooshing] [suspenseful music] [whooshing] Ugh! Maybe the Turtles are doing something fun. 'Cause the surface is feeling a little boring. [horn blaring, crashing] [woman screams] - Huh? - [men and women screaming] Run! [giggles] [car alarm sounding] [all screaming] [bike tires screech] Whoa. What? [electricity charging, firing] Giant alien eyeball? From the "Wingnut" comics? Ha! My day just got wicked awesome. - Wait till Raph sees this. - [camera shutter clicks] [phone rings] What the heck is this? [dark music] No way! [gasps] It can't be. Monoculus! Hey, eyeball, eat Photon Puck. Aah! Great googly oogly! [explosion] Man, that is one huge eyeball. Monoculus. It's so real. Just like from the comics. Snap out of it, Mikey. [laser charges and fires] Aah! [laughs] Hit it from every side. Try and keep it off balance. [grunting] Now! [all grunting] Aah! Ah! Woop woop woop woop woop! Ha-ha! [screaming] [groans] Ha! You took the crystal from my lab? It's mine. I need it. [blade whooshing] [slicing] [blade whooshing] Man, that was weird. - Huh? - Is everyone all right? Okay, I give up. Anyone want to tell me what's going on? I'll tell you what's going on. My comic book came to life. Okay. Any other theories? It's the Emperor Supreme of space eyeballs. - [both grunt] - It used to be in my comic, but now it's vanished. Right. That's why there's no eyeball monster in your comic at all. Come on, team. Let's head back to the lair. And I want to take a closer look at that crystal, April. I have this comic. They kind of look the same but that's impossible! Unless the crystal! The thing the alien dudes gave April. It must have magical powers, yo. It did the scan-y thing. And then I was all tingly. And then it brought a character from my comic book to life! - [gasps] - Whoa. It all makes sense! Yeah, sure if you're crazy! [TV static drones] [sighs] [snoring] Mmm sodium phosphate mm [snores] Dimethyl tryptamine April's crystal! It can bring stuff to life. Okay, then. Make it work, Merlin. All right. Make Wingnut and Screwloose come to life, crystal. Go for it! Do it! Umm - Come on, crystal! Stop messing with me! - I told you it doesn't work, bro-mix. No, wait. We got to poke it somehow, give it a zap. - Like this? - Aah! [Casey Jones laughing] Aah! [electricity crackling] [electricity crackling] both: Whoa! [whooshing] Whoa, you were right, Mikey. Holy chalupa. We're back on Earth! Great galaxies! Golly gee willikers, Wingnut! - Whoa. - Aah! Wingnut and Screwloose! You guys are my favorite comic book characters ever! Huh? Well, if it isn't our old foe Tortoise-Man. Escaped from prison again, have we? Holy Terrifying Terrapin! But he's like three feet shorter than Tortoise-Man, Wingnut. Obviously another one of Tortoise-Man's cunning tricks! [grunting] Wait, wait, wait. I'm not Tortoise-Man. And I'm not with him. Way to have my back, bro. [bat squawks] both: Ugh! Whoa, these are real Wingnut-arangs! The second coolest Wingnut weapon, behind the Wing-zooka! [explosion] [both groaning] All right, Tortoise-Man, time to unmask you. Mask refuses to come off. Aah! Holy Anthropomorphic Amphibians, Wingnut! I told you they weren't bad guys! My apologies, citizen. I am Wingnut. This is my sidekick, the bug wonder, Screwloose. My favorite comic book heroes in real life. And you decided not to peel off my face! Wow! Oh, I got to get you guys to sign my comic! Aw, man. They're gone. This is totally gonna ruin its collectability. Name's Casey. He's Mikey. We're about to go on patrol. Any chance you guys want to go look for crime? Indeed, young Casey. On super hero patrol with Wingnut and Screwloose. Time to look the part. Turflytle in the house! Buzz, buzz! Holy rip-off, Wingnut. Yes, I know, old chum. But we have more important matters at hand. Matters of justice. [whooshing] [adventurous music] [man screams] [brakes screeching, horns honking] [clattering] Huh? What's wrong? Ugh! Where is my crystal? I gave it back to you. Now you've lost it. Well, we'll find it, okay? Just relax. I don't want to relax. I want my crystal. [crashing] [grunting] - April? - Just leave me alone! [echoing thump] [gasps] You are not thinking clearly, April. But Master Splinter, my crystal You are too attached to that object. The crystal is a crutch. I recommend against using it. It's not a crutch. It's just very important to me, and now it's missing. None of us took it, and we're all here except Mikey. Coast looks clear. Buzz, buzz. No sign of any crime. Alas, I think I've found some. [cackling] Skullface McGillin. Criminal mastermind extraordinaire. Skullface? Dude, he's straight out of the comics. Look out! He's aiming his Skeletonizer! That's right, see. [shouting, grunting] Booyakasha! [metal clanging] Aah! [cackling] Ha-ha! That's right, see? And you're gonna get zapped by me, see? Oh, no, see! Aw, yeah! No Skeletonizer. What you gonna do now, Skully? Aah! - See? - Ugh! - Ugh! - Ow! Ugh, see? - [groans] - Let's share the last punch, together. Ha-ha-haa! [grunting in slow motion] [birds twittering] Ugh see? Yo, dog, I get how Wingnut and Screwloose came out of that comic, but how did Skullface escape? No clue, brah. But at least there's no villains left in this issue. Let's get something perfectly straight, citizens. We did not come out of any comic book! No. It's true, super dudes. You're just made-up characters. You're from the planet Dexion V of the Huanu system. Wingnut lost his family at the intergalactic movies, and later adopted Screwloose after a tragedy at the space circus. - [both gasp] - How How do you know so much about us? Are you working for Captain Confusion? It was the power of the crystal, yo. See? an you feel it, old chum? It's the source the source of life and power itself. Whoa. Are you guys feeling okay? Give us the crystal. Huh? Life and power and it's ours! [electricity crackling] [both roaring] No! [both roar] I swear, if Mikey lost my crystal [phone rings] Mikey! - Where the heck are you? - Dude! Me and Casey need help! [both roaring] Wingnut and Screwloose have gone all evil! We're tracking them across the city right now. Did I mention they're evil? You're tracking comic book characters across the city. And it's finally happened. Mikey's lost his mind. Wingnut and Screwloose are real, dude. They came from April's crystal. But don't tell April I took her crystal. Or that I lost her crystal. Or that the bad guys have her crystal. Cool? Mikey! My crystal! My bad. Raph, get everybody to the old cathedral. Fast. They're in their Bell Tower Lair straight out of the comics! [machinery beeping] Dude, check it out, brah. [speech echoing] Whoa. Whoa, this is from "Wingnut and Screwloose" no. 30. And this is the squirrel from issue 35. Cool. Look, it's all their costumes. [both gasp] The crystal is a conduit of energy. It created us, old chum! I get it now, Wingnut. We don't really exist in this world. We're just images brought to life. It's a big bummer! What can we do? The crystal can sustain us. We can survive with its power. We can become more real than the beings in this world. I just have to discover how to tap its mystical energy. Do we make our move? - Not yet. Wait till the time is - aah! [thumps] Intruders! They're after the crystal! [shouting and grunting] [groans] Come on, Wingnut. We don't want to hurt you. You're not bad guys. You're heroes. Lies. You'll say anything to get the crystal. Aah! Whoa! Got you, Casey. [pulley system whirring] [dramatic music] [both roaring] Whoa, Mikey was right. We got to start listening to him more often. I'll destroy you, vile Turtle. [screaming] Ugh! [yelling] [missile soaring] Aah! Aah! [shouting and grunting] [creaking, then snaps] Aah! Hold on, Raph! I got your back. [snarls] This kind of thing would never happen with the "Fantastic Four Food Groups. " [shouting, grunting] What's wrong with you, Wingnut? In the comics, you're a hero. I still am! He's got my crystal! It's mine! [shots firing] [bell rings] [both roaring] Huh? Casey, I've got an idea. It's not great, but it's an idea. Just do it already. [bell ringing] [both screaming, roaring] This is as close as I can get. Now, April, focus your powers. [bell continues ringing] Ugh! No! [roars] Now reabsorb the energy that brought them to life. Finally back where she belongs. Golly. Did you hear that, Wingnut? They're gonna send us back to being pictures on a page. No, old chum, They're going to send us back to where we're supposed to be. I'm sorry for the all the trouble we've caused here, Tortoise allies. We don't belong here. [sniffling] Sorry everything got so messed up, Wingnut. Thanks for coming on patrol with us. Anytime, old chum. [energy whooshes] [melancholy music] Holy good-byes, everyone. [warbling] [pages ruffling] Don't be sad, Mikey. They were never real to begin with. [crying] I know. It's cool, bro. [blows nose] April, when we get back to the lair, I think I'd better run some more tests on that crystal. No, Donnie. April, are you all right? It's my crystal. I'm never gonna take it off again for anyone or anything ever again.