The Turmoil of the Beehive

Panty/Stocking: The Turmoil of the Beehive.

Panty: One more time with feeling.

Garterbelt: Daten City. Sometimes it feels like a vacuous place where everyone wants to be number one, especially in high school. The guys want the girls to want them, and the girls want the other girls to want to be them. However, sometimes being the best means being the worst.

Garterbelt: Good morning, angels. It's so nice of you to grace us with your most malcontent presence today.

Panty: This is who I'm waking up to? Asshole.

Stocking: I'm not going to stop what I was doing, so you only have yourself to blame for what you're about to smell, preacher douche-bag.

Garterbelt: I'm going to ignore that and keep talking. All right tartlets, we hae a grave situation on our hands.

Panty: Yeah, I'll bet. Let me guess, it's another rogue glory hole shit-storm.

Garterbelt: The only shit-storm here is the one coming out your mouth on a daily basis, but I'm prepared for it this time. Ladies and Panty, meet our new client, the principal of Daten City's academic institution. We only have one here, apparently.

Panty: Client for what? I don't do old dudes.

Principal: Oh, well that's just... Oh, never mind. The thing is our students are missing, or rather they're going missing. Ouch. Some of them are still there. I've called the police but they can't figure it out.

Stocking: Then there must be a ghost behind it, right? Can I go now?

Principal: It's more than a ghost. It's the Devil himself. Please, save our school. Oh, jimmeny, that feels amazing, just a little to the left.

Panty: Leg rape. Way to have him ask for our help, like we fucking have the right to say no.

Garterbelt: I knew you'd agree. All right, you hookers. Go wash your asses in the sink and get to high school before that ghost swindles any more students. Remember you're incognito so resist the urge to be yourselves.

Speaker 1: Are those celebrities?

Speaker 2: Are we in a music video?

Panty: We're angels, dick.

Stocking: You do know what incognito means, right? It's the opposite of that.

Panty: Who would've thunk the earthly high school boys would be just as pervy as those assholes in heaven?

Stocking: That was convincing for a minute I actually believed you had some idea what schools might be like up there.

Panty: I specifically said the perverts at the school, Stocking. I wouldn't know that if I actually wasted time in class, now would I?

Stocking: True story. All right, lets get this over with. Where should we go first?

Panty: What in the fuck, that's not suspicious or anything?

Stocking: We didn't even have to go looking for trouble.

Panty: Was that necessary?

Briefs: Whoa, Holy Mary Mother of.

Panty: That all you got? Hey, here's a thought: let's take this one home and call it a day.

Stocking: Yeah, we'll say he's a geeky bee ghost or something. I'm down.

Briefs: Help I can't feel, my face hurts.

Barby: Oh Breifers, darling. You're not really running around so carelessly with my precious beehive on your head now, are you?

Briefs: I'm so sorry, but its not my fault, I swear.

Panty: Aw, that was a good look for you. Why'd you take it off? So hey, what the fuck is that?

Barby: Oh gross, is that Barby wannabe I smell. I have no idea who you are or who you are pretending to be, but allow me to share something really important with you. This school belongs to moi.

Panty: You the fucking janitor?

Stocking: Yeah, cause we met the principal and he's hotter.

Barby: My name's Barby. You may also refer to me as Queen Barby, her majesty, or goddess. Allow them to demonstrate.

Jocks: Hail Barby, Queen Barby her majesty, goddess.

Panty: You're working way to hard here. Did she seriously refer to herself as "Barbie" like the outdated fetish doll with a zillion lame ass occupations?

Stocking: She did, and I'm allergic to plastic. Let's get out of here before we catch slut-face.

Barby: Oh no. No one walks out in the middle of my being worshiped. And how dare you call me plastic.

Barby: I guess I was just born with it.

Panty: Look how hot I am as a scientist. Hard on!

Barby: Go, go, go!

Panty: Take notes my nerd-lings.

Speaker 3: Man, those Panty and Stocking babes totally deleted Barby from everyone's playlist.

Speaker 4: Consider her beta test expired.

Speaker 5: Yeah, right. I don't know what that means, but I'm ready for a new mental image for my flesh light. Bye, bye Barby.

Speaker 6: My brother nerds, the time has come to assimilate. We must wipe our hard drives clean of that nasty virus and hail our new splendiferous royalty.

Barby: I know I didn't just hear what I think I thought I heard. Try that again, suckers.

Speaker 7: Listen up maggots, you're still practically embryos, and that means if you have sex you'll die. I mean it. Death is permanent

Panty: Check this shit out, Stocking. Could you just die? It even moves when you stick a finger up her.

Stocking: Third base Panty, collect all four. You're just into this for the uniform.

Panty: And your point?

Speaker 7: That's what I like to hear. All right, you can use one of these to have sex.

Panty: Is that gum?

Speaker 7: But you're still going to die. Take one and pass it back.

Briefs: Hey what are you girls doing?

Panty: What the fuck sphincter?

Stocking: Oh, hey geek boy, didn't see you there.

Briefs: You've got to do something. All my friends are disappearing, and by friends I mean the people in the halls.

Stocking: What's that?

Briefs: This is the work of a ghost. They're going to kidnap us all and eat our brains.

Panty: They're going to what now? Dude, slow your fucking roll. I can't understand you.

Briefs: You may not believe this but I am an expert in the occult. Plus I've got this proton pack for my birthday last year and its awesome.

Panty/Stocking: [crosstalk 00:07:30] Those things are for real?

Panty: Man, I hope whoever gave you that thing kept the receipt because it's either broken as hell or just part of their plan to make you look a ComicCon de-uche.

Stocking: So what exactly were we taking when we decided to follow the ginger freak-show.

Briefs: Sorry, it usually works.

Panty: Proton pack-a-shit.

Briefs: Wait! No, there it goes it found something.

Panty: I knew I could fix it.

Barby: Well isn't this a delight. I was afraid I'd never see my favorite slut-kankles ever again.

Panty: Ugh, aren't you supposed to be in the trash?

Stocking: Ten inches is way to big for you.

Barby: Please, I have the biggest entrances in the whole school.

Panty: That's a lot of information about you I did not need to know. Booger-flick in yo face.

Barby: Aww, that was almost adorable. I'll give you something to flick when you see what I brought here for you.

Briefs: I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought!

Panty: Could this have been any more fucking predictable?

Stocking: Nope. She's a queen, she's a bee, she's a queen bee. We fucking get it.

Barby: I hope you both have something good to turn into teacher Barby, because stupidity results in death in my classroom.

Panty: Introducing brain-sloshing Barby.

Stocking: This better not take forever I need a candy bar.

Panty: True dat mess. Who's ready to play?

Barby: Barby Blast!

Barby: They certainly have experience playing with balls don't they?

Briefs: It was all a dream. Oh, thank goodness.

Panty: Heads up ginge!

Stocking: Just who are these helmeted men.

Panty: Make my day. Bee gone.

Speaker 8: My head hurts.

Speaker 9: Was I just a bee?

Stocking: Not exactly. Random-house Barby decided to put bees in your ears to control you.

Panty/Stocking: [crosstalk 00:09:43] So you know what that means?

Panty: Its extermination day bee-tches.

Stocking: Panty I'm gonna need you to stop making bee puns.

Barby: It's about to get all-bring it Barby in here. Get your asses out there and give them poison.

Panty: Did she just shoot bee butts at us?

Jocks: I see London, I see France.

Panty: We girls can do anything. Ain't that right, Barby? Barby dream cemetery sold separately! Repent, mother fucker!

Barby: But I'm vintage!

Panty: That's it? Cheap bastard.

Stocking: Here come the geeks.

Briefs: Oh shit, you guys are real ghost hunters! I'm so excited I'm itching, but in places I shouldn't be! Wait til people hear about this a few of them will want to be friends with me I know it!

Panty: Hello, s'morgasm board. Who's face should I play rocking chair with first?

Stocking: Oh I guess you've earned it..

Panty: Line up, boys.

Stocking: I need some sugar.

Panty: Don't put your finger there, please, don't put your finger there.

Principal: Time to exercise this demon.

Panty: What the fuck are you doing? Put your finger back. Touch down! Yeah! Let's go another time.