How The Wizard of Oz Should Have Ended


 * Wicket Witch: Give me back my slippers!
 * Glinda: Be gone! You have no power here.
 * Wicket Witch: Very well, I'll bide my time. And as for you, my fine lady... Just try to stay out of my way... Just try! I'LL GET YOU MY PRETTY AND YOUR LITTLE DOG...
 * (Guard 2 shoots Wicked Witch in the head)
 * Guard: Whoa, you killed her. How is it so? I thought only water could kill the witch foe.
 * Guard 2: I thought so too, until that house killed one dead. Then I figured, we're carrying guns so I shot her in the head.
 * Guard: In the head?
 * Guard 2: In the head.
 * Guy: He shot her in the head.
 * Mayor: Well, ding-dong everyone, another witch is dead.
 * All: ♪Ding-dong! The witch got shot. Another witch is dead! Yay!♪ ♪Bip Bop, bootly bop, another witch is doodly dead!♪ ♪Ding-dong the witch got shot...♪
 * Glinda: Well, this ruins my plan to send you on a journey... and teach you a lesson, and eventually have you killed the Wicked Witch yourself.
 * Dorothy: Wh-what did you just say?
 * Glinda: Ohhh nothing! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! This is all just a dream! I'm a good witch! I would-I would never... Eh... There's no place like home! PNCHH!
 * (The scene darkens behind her, the film reverts to black and white, and Dorothy is back in Kansas on her bed -- her adventures now revealed to be just a by-product of a dream.)
 * (Dorothy woke up)
 * Dorothy: Huhhh... Wha-- Uhh... What the?!?!?
 * Scarecrow: Go on! Get outta here! Shooo! Scat!
 * Tin Woodsman: You stupid trees!
 * Cowardly Lion: What was that noise? Huhuhuhhhh... Uh, there it is again. Oh goodness. there it is again!
 * Wizard of Oz: Now don't be sad. I didn't really ever give them what they asked for in the first place.