How Avengers: Infinity War Should Have Ended

Open with Thanos and Gamora on the planet Vormir looking for the Soul Stone.

Gamora: Well, here we are. The location of the Soul Stone is right in there. I guess you better go in and get it.

Thanos: (silence for a bit) This is a lake of acid lava.

Gamora: I know, crazy right?! Well, hop on in and get that stone you need so bad. It's all the way at the bottom.

Thanos: (uses the Reality Stone) Bubbles.

Gamora: Crap! You and your stinking bubbles!

Thanos: You lied to me again.

Gamora: What?! That's crazy! You must have turned it to bubbles. I mean I wouldn't lie to you.

Thanos: Your sister will pay for this. (uses the Space Stone and poofs them both to Nebula only to find she vanished)

Soldier: Oh my gosh, Thanos! The sister has escaped!

Thanos: Dangit! You guys had one job! (leaves) This does not put a smile on my face.

Cue MCU inspired logo which then disintegrates into dust.

Guy: Oh no! Why? Why would you do that?! Too soon!!!! Nooo!

Open to Doctor Stange looking into 14 million outcomes to beating Thanos on Titan.

Iron Man: Strange! You alright?

Strange: I just went forward in time to see all the possible outcomes.

Iron Man: Well, how many did we win?

Strange: 5

Fast forward to outcome 1.

Thanos walks to Dr. Strange.

Strange: Oh yeah. You're much more of a Thanos.

Thanos: I take it Maw is dead then. At least he accomplished his mission.

Strange: Cloak of Levitation!

Cloak grabs the Gauntlet,

Thanos: What is this?

Strange: And sling ring. And cut!

Sling ring appears under him and his gauntlet gets chopped off as he falls.

Iron Man: Wow!

Spider-Man: That was awesome!

Iron Man: Nice job, Sherlock!

Star-Lord: Did we win already?!

Fast forward to outcome 2.

Everyone but Quill is trying to keep Thanos still.

Mantis: He is very strong!!

Strange: And... Baby Thanos! (uses the Time Stone to de age him to a baby)

Baby Thaons: (baby noises)

Strange, Spider-Man, Iron Man, Drax: Aww!

Drax: Okay, now we can kill him.

Spider-Man: Wait! We can't kill Thanos now! He's just a baby!

Star-Lord: Well, who's gonna take care of him? We can't just leave him here!

Tony all of a sudden comes back to Earth

Tony: Hey, honey! Remember that dream I was talking about having a baby? Say hello to our new son, Thanos!

Pepper faints.

Tony: Oh come on! This is not the weirdest thing I've brought home before!

Fast forward to outcome 3.

Open to Quill raging in fury about killing Gamora for the Soul Stone.

Star-Lord: Tell me you didn't do it!

Thanos: I had to...

Star-Lord: No you didn't!