California-A-Rooney

1 Joey: Previously on Liv and Maddie As the head coach of the University of Wisconsin Beloit, I would like to offer you a basketball scholarship. You're SkyVolt now. SkyVolt is dead? It was my choice. I love Voltage, but I wanna be here. Let's go to college together! Liv, you gave up your show for me? Hey, Wills, how's California? I miss you so much. Not for long, Mads. They're gonna call and offer you a basketball scholarship to SESU! But you have to be in LA right away for training camp. What about your dad? Oh what about Liv? Maddie what are you gonna do? Hey. Hey, future college roomie. Um, so Liv, I have something to tell you. I have something to tell you. Our future freshman dorm is going to be painted (Gasps) sunshine citron! Uh, I just got a call from SESU, and they offered me a basketball scholarship. Wow! Yeah, and they told me that they need me there right away so I told them yes. What? You've already decided without even talking to me? Well, I mean Liv, this is Southern California State University. You know, it's my dream school. This is a life-changing offer for me. Maddie, I gave up Voltage for you. Hold on. I did not ask you to do that. No, but you didn't have to, I thought that was the point. I told you to follow your heart. And my heart wants to be with you! I thought that's what you wanted too! Remember, sisters by chance, friends by choice? That is not fair, Liv. I have always supported you in everything that you do. Walking away from Voltage was huge, Maddie. Walking away from that could ruin my entire career. Walking away from SESU could ruin my entire future! I have worked so hard for this chance, Liv. Why can't you just be happy for me? Fine! Go to California, Maddie, but don't expect me to act like you didn't betray me, because you did. You put a Parker Tunnel in my bed? I thought I was in the attic. My bad. (Theme music playing) Better in stereo Bet-bet-better in stereo - I'm up with the sunshine - Let's go - I lace up my high-tops - Oh no Slam dunk, ready or not Yeah, show me what you got - I'm under the spotlight - Holler I dare you, come on and follow You dance to your own beat I'll sing the melody When you say yea-ah-ah I say no-oh-oh When you say stop All I want to do is go, go, go You, you, the other half of me, me The half I'll never be-e The half that drives me crazy You, you, the better half of me, me The half I'll always need But we both know We're better in stereo Whoa. Listen, as your coach, I I'm really disappointed. But as your dad, my little girl is playing for the best program in the country! Bam! What? Oh, Dad, I'm so relieved. Liv is actually so mad at me that she's not even speaking to me. You know what? I am gonna tell her that she needs to talk this over with you. No, no, Mom, please stop. If Liv wants to make this right, she has to apologize to me. It doesn't count if you go up there, and you drag her down, and you make her do it. Okay. This is between you girls. I'm gonna stay out of it. Like I'm gonna stay out of that. I never stay out of anything. Nope nope. They have to work this out themselves. A couple of years ago, we discovered that Parker had constructed a series of tunnels under the house. We told him to fill those in. In retrospect, we probably should've followed up on that. (Rats squeaking) Oh, man, the rats are biting today! Oh no, no, he got away. Man, you've built quite a sweet life for yourself in Parker Hollow. Yeah, my tunnels are an oasis from the cyclone of blonde drama above. What is going on down here? No one's fishing for rats, if that's what you're thinking, Mom. (Gasps) Is that my missing Thai cookbook? No, don't touch that! It's holding up the whole house. Kind of exciting, no? No! All right, that's it, the Parker Tunnels are officially closed. Get out! Mom, but the muffins are almost done. You have an oven down here? - No. - Never mind. We're leaving. What? They smell good. Ooh. Comfy chair. Don't mind if I do. What's that sound? Oh, right. No kids. Oh, Karen likey. Hey. Don't go all Hollywood on me. Oh, not a chance, Parker Pants. Oh. Aunt Dena will take good care of you. Just like she did with Liv when she was doing Sing It Loud! And on that very sour note I will be leaving. I really thought that she was gonna come down and say goodbye. She's She's gonna come down. No. Mom, she won't. (Car horn honking) Dad is waiting for me out in the car, so Bye, guys. - I'll help you out. - Okay. - Love you. - I love you. - I love you, Joe. - Love you, dude. Okay, now I can meddle. Hey, Liv! How ya doing? Did Mom send you? No, of course not. Can't a brother just check in to "facilitate healing between you and Maddie. " Well, I am actually healing just fine by getting rid of every single trace of Maddie in this entire room. Whoa. Gonna be hard to "turn the page on such a corn relationship. " What's a corn relationship? "Core. " Core relationship. Come on, Joey, I know Mom sent you. Okay, well, everyone's worried about you and Maddie. I mean, Liv, your best friend moved to California and then you didn't even say goodbye? I'm not talking to her until she apologizes. I changed my entire life for her, and then she bailed on me, Joey. So you can stop referring to her as my best friend. Does this picture mean nothing to you? Sisters by chance, friends by choice. Powerful little words marginal artwork. Yeah. Sisters by chance friends no more. (Doorbell rings) Maddie! Hi! Aunt Dena, hi! How was your flight? Oh, it was actually really great. It whaaa? (Ringing bells) Huh. What's happening? Oh, I'm getting rid of any negative chi you may have picked up on the plane at 30,000 feet. Bad chi means bad happiness. Uh, Willow, this is Aunt Dena. Aunt Dena, this is Willow. Willow! I'm loving your blazing orange aura. Thank you! I just had it touched up. Can I offer anyone some spelt crackers with mung bean spread? Yes! Please! Extra mung! I exit this room the way I entered it with peace and harmony. Well, I guess it's time to seal up the Parker Tunnels. This is a sad, sad day. Shall we go down to Parker Hollow and have one last baloney sandwich together? - Can we hold hands? - No. Good. Yeah. Yeah, it's not even like I even really wanted to. - I just (Mutters) - Fine, come on. Yay! Why did you stop, Parker? I just got a face full of your butt. - Look! - (Gasps) Oh. Hello, boys. What have you done to Parker Hollow? (Laughing) You mean Karen Kountry? You are so lucky that you get to live with such a cool aunt. I know. She's a blast. Though she does claim she is a psychic healer. So, you know, if she finds out that Liv and I are fighting, she's just gonna try and get all up in my chakras. Which, I mean, I don't know what chakras are, but I'm assuming I don't want anybody all up in them. So just, do me a favor, just don't say anything. Okay. (Gasps) You're fighting with Liv. She is psychic! Did you have a vision? No, I could just hear you from the kitchen. The house is really echo-y. But to my credit, I did have an intuitive tingle. So, what is going on? They got into a big fight because Liv gave up her show for Maddie, and now she feels like Maddie abandoned her. Because I want to go to my dream school. But I'm not gonna talk to her until she apologizes. But you two have always been so close. Oh! Let me help you fix this. No. I mean, Liv is an insensitive jerk, so there really is no fixing this. We're probably never gonna speak again, but everything's fine. Do you wanna go to the beach? Okay. Everything Maddie goes in the attic. What? Oh I thought this was the laundry room. These tunnels are so confusing. Are you packing up Maddie's stuff? I knew I shouldn't have sent Joey up here to talk with you. Okay, okay. Looks like Mama's gotta fix this herself. I'm sorry, Mom, you really can't fix this. Liv sisters fight. Believe me, I know. But they need to find a way to make up. We can make up as soon as she apologizes, because I am not the one who's wrong here. Okay, honey. Sometimes you can be wrong and right at the same time. Now, you need to ask yourself: do you wanna be right? Or do you wanna get your best friend back? I don't want her back. I'm really enjoying having this whole place to myself, and it's gonna be even better once all of her junk is gone. Is it junk? Or is it a lifetime of memories? Today was super, super fun, Aunt Dena. I do have one question, though. If we're not really gonna surf, why do we need to carry the surfboards? Mmm. The answer is evident if you look within. Because we look super cool carrying surfboards? Bingo! Oh, yes! I'm so LA. Practically a native. Well, back to my dorm room. When I tell my roomies about today, they're gonna be so jelly! - That's Cali for "jealous. " - Oh. Bye. Well, you seem to be doing okay without talking to Liv. I guess I was wrong. I'm never wrong. It's time for laid-back, free spirit Aunt Dena to go old-school. Knock some sense into her. I got some great pics of you on the beach. I'm gonna put these in the scrapbook. What scrapbook? The scrapbook I'll use to knock some sense into her. Liv was so excited to move home to be with you. She sent me updates of all of your adventures, and I made a scrapbook. It seems like the last three years you had with Liv were pretty special. Go ahead and leaf through it. Maybe it'll help you remember the good times. I am gonna go whip up some seaweed smoothies for dinner. I'm just kidding. We're having meatloaf. I'm not a monster. - I'm up with the sunshine - Let's go - I lace up my high-tops - Oh, no Slam dunk, ready or not Yeah, show me what you got - I'm under the spotlight - Holler I dare you, come on and follow You dance to your own beat I'll sing the melody When you say yea-ah-ah I say no-oh-oh When you say stop All I want to do is go, go, go You, you, the better half of me The half I'll always need But we both know We're better in stereo You say it's wrong, I say it's right You say it's black, I say it's white You take a left and I take a right But at the end of the day we both know We're better You, you, the other half of me The half I'll never be The half that drives me crazy You, you the better half of me The half I'll always need But we both know Better in stereo (Sobs) - Oh, Liv! - Mom. I made a really horrible mistake, and I don't know how to fix it. Maddie! Hey! Hey! Look at you. Just bongoing, right, right there on, on the floor. How did it go? Oh, our first practice? It went so great. And now Willow is gonna come over, and we are gonna hike up to the Hollywood sign. You know that is not what I meant. How did it go when you called Liv? Oh. Um I did not call Liv. After your not-so-subtle scrapbook trick, I really wanted to call her, but I chickened out. I'm just not sure what I could even say to make everything right. Well, why don't you start with hello? See where it goes from there? (Cell phone beeps) Ooh! The sun is setting. I gotta get down to the beach and bark at the seals. Aarf, aarf, aarf! That's "hello" in seal. (Doorbell rings) Coming, Willow. Liv? Hello. These baloney sandwiches just aren't as delicious without 20 feet of unstable dirt above my head. No, they are not, my good sir. (Ethereal flute music plays) Is that Mom playing the flute in my tunnels? This shall not stand. Oh, oh. I hear a declaration coming on. If we can't have the Parker Tunnels, no one will have the Parker Tunnels! Boom! You killed that declaration, son! We're gonna finish our sandwiches before we exact our revenge, though, right? Ah, cha. Liv, what you doing here? Well, I mean, you forgot this. You forgot your toothbrush too, but I sort of figured that you could get a new one of those I missed you so much. Maddie you just followed your heart, and I'm so sorry that I got so upset about that. I'm sorry. I should've at least talked to you before I just decided to come out here. I mean, I didn't even say goodbye to you. Okay, yeah, you win, you were the bigger jerk. Thank you. - Do you forgive me? - Liv, of course I forgive you. - Sisters by chance - Friends by choice. Wow. Those seals were not in the mood. Liv! Hi! I had an intuitive tingle you were gonna be here, but I didn't listen, because I was being chased by seals. Hey, um, is it cool if I crash here just for tonight, before my flight back to Wisconsin tomorrow? Of course, sweetie. I have plenty of room. Let me go make up a bed. I cannot wait to throw it in your mom's face that I fixed this! Oh! If you are only here for one night, we have to go to Matthew McConaughey's house and play "Ding Dong Ditch. " Ding Dong duh! Hey. I have a better idea. Oh, no, Maddie, you have no idea, it's so funny. We go to his house and we hide in the bushes, and he comes out, and he's like all confused, and he goes "All right, all right, all right. " It's so funny. No, I have a better idea than you leaving tomorrow. Stay. What? You could stay. I mean, you love Los Angeles. The only reason you moved back to Stevens Point was for me, and I'm here now. Just stay. You know? You could go to SESU. You could act or you could sing. You know, you'd figure it out. I mean, we could figure it out. - Okay. - Seriously? Yeah, I'm totally serious. Liv and Maddie, California style. Both: All right, all right, all right! Oh, time to get down to Karen Kountry for some "me" time. (Laughs) Trying to access your precious tunnels, Mother? We sealed them. They came from the earth, and to the earth they shall return. - Here's your Thai cookbook. - (Gasps) You moved that? Munch, that's the only thing holding up the house! Chillito, Parkito. I replaced the pillar with Mom's exercise ball. Well, what if that rolls away? Mom, relax. I braced it with Dad's hedge clippers. (Gasps) You know, now when I say it out loud, it does sound like a flawed plan. Run! (Distant car alarms blare) (Coughing) I am just gonna say it that was my bad. So we all moved into Aunt Dena's. And of course, there will be no issues for me living with my little sister. And I already made friends with a pelican. And I'm excited about building tunnels in an active fault zone. No more tunnels! Fine. I shall conquer the skies. Jet pack, here I come! Look out! The Rooneys are taking over California. All: Bam! What? Liv and Maddie: All right, all right, all right!