Lazer Royale

1 Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go! We'll be there A wink and a smile and a great, old time Yeah, we'll be there Wherever we are, there's fun to be found We'll be there when you turn that corner We'll jump out the bush With a big bear hug and a smile We'll be there [Dramatic music] Young Grizzly: [Chuckles] Oh, yeah. [Sniffs] Wow, Grizz! Paper that smells like food? - That's futuristic technology! - You got that right, Pan-man. Ooh! Chocolate ice cream?! Scratch attack! [Inhales deeply] Ah, yeah, that's the stuff. This is by far the best thing we've ever found in the trash. Oh, cool! I want to smell it, too! - Ooph! Ahh! - The stickers! Oh, no! Our ice-cream paper! Aww, bummer, I hate losing food. Especially ice cream. Woman: Hey there, kids! All: Huh? Do you like ice cream? Well, if sundaes are your jam, then come on down to Lazer Royale! - Laser tag is easy. - And super fun! Just aim and fire your laser blaster! Woman: Hit your opponent's target, and they're eliminated! Play in the tournament, and if you get everyone out [Buzzer] you'll win a giant ice-cream sundae! Man: Sundae! Sundae! Sundae! All: Whoa! [Lasers firing] Hope to see you soon, sundae seekers! We're just around the corner, and best of all, if you come in today, it's free! See you there! Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, that looks amazing! Ah! Pan, who needs to smell ice cream when we can eat ice cream! Let's do this! [Music] - Here we are! - Wow, this place is so colorful. Yeah, and noisy. [Laughter] Where do we sign up? - Welcome. - Huh? Ooh! This is so future. [Whoosh] Hello, participant. Before you start, we have a quick waiver for you to sign before you get out there and have fun! Young Panda: Liability form? Blah, blah, possibility of mortal and spiritual harm Geez, this thing is long. You guys reading this? Guys? - Young Grizzly: Panda! - Wha? Dude, the next round's almost starting! Everybody's gearing up! - I've never done this before! - Awesome! - Gotcha! - Look at this! Oh! Okay! Coming! [Grunts] Hey, Pan, we're gonna scout the competition! We'll see ya in the waiting area! Ah, wait! But, uh, I gotta get my stuff. Hold on. [Grunting] Oh! You need some help there? - Oh, yes. Please. - No problem, champ! Here ya go! - And don't forget this! - Aww, thanks, mister! Wow, people are nice here. - Girl: No! Stay back! - Wha! Don't go in there! It's not what you think! What they say about fun and games?! It's a lie, a fallacy! - The ice cream's a trap! Run! - Uh, cool. Thanks for the head's up. I, uh, gotta go. - See ya in there! Bye! - Wait, listen to me! Pew pew! You're down! - Hey, Panda! Over here! - Oh, phew, found you guys. Hey, man, you ready to get that ice cream? Oh, yeah. Getting that ice cream's gonna be a piece of cake. We're hardened and homeless these punks don't stand a chance against us. Welcome contestants. Thank you for joining us! Hope you're ready. The rules to Lazer Royale are simple don't get hit by any lasers, and you'll win the biggest ice-cream sundae you've ever seen! - That gonna be ours. - Yeah. And lastly, remember, kids, have fun! Now get out there and destroy each other! Tee hee! 10 9 - 8 - Yes! Ice cream, fun Wait, did she say, "Destroy"? 7 6 5 4 [Beeping] All: Whoa! 3 2 1. Begin carnage. [Music] [Cheering, laughter] Wah! Get down! [Groans] Ugh! Player 12 eliminated. [Indistinct shouting] Aw, dangit. [Screaming] [Both panting] Ah! [Screams] [Laughs] Ah! [Groaning] [Laughing] Ah! No! Player 5, 9, 7, eliminated. - Ah, what is happening?! [Screaming] - Come on, Panda! [Ringing, echoing] Young Panda: Wha? Huh? Where's my ? Uh Grizz? [Laughing maniacally] [Screaming] [Crying] Ah! [Screaming] Wha? No! Wha? Grizz? Brothers? - Where are you?! Ah! - Aah! No, please! Pan Pan! Over here! Get in, man! - Little girl, come hide with us! Ah! - No, you don't understand! We're all done for! I'm telling you! [Screams] Wait! Young Grizzly: Panda! Watch out! [Panda screaming] [Grunting] - Ooph! - You okay? Yeah, barely made it out of there. This isn't just a game. These kids are intense. How are we gonna win? All I wanted was ice cream! - I didn't ask for this! - Relax, Pan Pan. We're gonna fight fire with fire! Nothing will stop us bears from getting that sundae! C'mon, everybody in! - 1, 2, 3 - All: Bears! [Grunting] - Ice cream! - Aah! [Music] [Laser firing] Take that! Come on, bros! I'll cover ya! [Panting] Ooph! [Grunts] [Music continues] They're trying to corner us! Activate bear-bomb initiative! Hup! [Chuckles] Huh? Ah! No! [Laser fires] [Laughs] Whoo! Player 22, eliminated. [Panting] - Time for the Grizz Grenade. Hup! - Wah! - Huh? No! - No! - Ah! No fair! - Come on! - Ah! Don't shoot, don't shoot! - Ah! - Ah! - Ah! Player 21, 16, 11, 15, eliminated. Young Grizzly: Yeah, way to go, bros! - I think that's everyone. - We're so good at violence. Whoa, I look so cool when I hold my blaster like this. Hey, let's go see if we can get our ice cream. Ooh! Hup, hup! Wha Aw. [Chuckles] I'm doing it! [Chuckles] Wait, guys? Guys? Where'd you go? [Laser firing] Ah! Ah! Wah! [Snickers evilly] - Wha? My blaster Ah! - Ha! No one to save you now. Ah! Ah! Sundae's all mine for the taking. [Chuckles] [Music] Game over, kid. [Laughs evilly] [Whimpering] Huh? [Groans] I just wanted some ice cream. Player 10, eliminated. Sorry. Thanks for letting us shoot you in the back. [Groans, cries] Thanks, guys! [Chuckles] - So did we win? - There's no one else left! We won! [Warbling] Hey, sundae seekers! I hope everyone's having a fun game, but just a reminder, there can only be [Demonic voice echoing] one. Well, what do we do? Ah, simple I'll shoot you both - and win the ice cream. - Ah! Yeah, then I'll share it with you guys. What? Dude! Remember that time you found a brownie? You ate the whole thing! You can't share food. - I should win the game. - Huh? Why you? - You can trust me! - Young Grizzly: No, trust me! - I'm honest. - I'm honest and a winner. You're not a winner, you're an eater! Nuh-unh! Hey, what are you doing? [Dramatic music] [Both muttering] [Breathing quickly] [Wind whistling] - Uh uh - Don't do it, Panda! [Groans] Buh ah [Music intensifies] Don't. You. Do it. [Gasps] [Grunts] Hmm. [Tense music] Uh uh [Music] [Yelps] Player 2, player infinity, eliminated. [Groans] Great shot, Pan Pan! I never knew you had it in you. Huh? That wasn't me. I didn't shoot anyone. Well, if you didn't shoot us, then who did? [Whistle] Huh? [Evil laugh] It's just you and me. [Gasps] The only one more pathetic than I was pretending to be. [Laughs evilly] Whoa. Did not see that coming. Thanks for getting rid of everyone. - Time for me to return the favor. - Ah! Ah! [Screaming] Save me! Help! Aah! Defend yourself! Right! Left! Right! Movement! Parkour! Ah! Ah! Ah! [Screams] - [Scoffs] Too easy. - Pan! Pick up your blaster! Oh, yeah. [Groans] [Laser firing] Ow! Ah! You You monster! There are no heroes only sundaes. Uh [Laughs evilly] [Dramatic music] [Laughs evilly] [Panting] Stop moving! [Panting] Oop! Ow! [Music] [Distorted] No-o-o! [Music] Aaaah! [Sighs] Rats. [Fireworks popping] Winner! Winner! Winner! Young Grizzly: Yeah, whoo-hoo! You did it, Pan! Huh? Wow! I did it! I won! That was so crazy, Pan! We're so proud of you! Whoa! Uh man, this place is kind of janky with the lights on. Congratulations, participant! You are the winner of Laser Royale! Enjoy your ice-cream sundae! [Lounge music] Whoa! So big! Well-done, Panda! You deserve it. Bros, this is far too big for just me. - Let's dig in together. [Grunts] - Whoa, whoa, easy, easy, easy! Wah! [Groans] [Clatter] Uh, maybe they have some stickers? [Music] [Laughter] Whoa!