A Star is Born Again


 * Marge: Poor Ned. This is his first Jellyfish Festival alone.
 * Homer: I know. And it doesn't get any easier from here. There's the Tongue Kiss Festival, Cinco de Ocho, the Hobo Oscars. Days just made for lovers. Not widowers, lovers!


 * Sara Sloane: It's a nice change from the actors I date. All they want to talk about is their Botox, their Tae-Bo or their XBOX.


 * Marge: Sara Sloan has been involved with every Tinseltown hunk from Affleck to Zmed.
 * Bart: Yeah, she's had more stars on her than Lisa's homework. (snaps in Z-formation)


 * Flanders: Whoa, whoa, whoa. This movie is turning into SpongeBob NoPants.


 * Rainier Wolfcastle: Sara, Liebchen, take me back. If tears could burst through my muscular ducts I would cry like a baby who was just hit by a hammer.
 * Sara: Rainier, you're too jealous. You beat up Jon Lovitz because he presented me an award.
 * Rainier Wolfcastle: Oh, come on. No one misses a handshake that badly.


 * Lisa (to Sara): Miss Sloane, how are you handling the change from "La La Land" to "Blah Blah Land"?
 * Marge: Lisa, Springfield isn't a cultural wasteland. Part of "Stroker Ace" was filmed at our airport.


 * [During the women's bookclub]
 * Marge: Today's book is "Bridget Jones's Diary." Now, let's go around the room and analyze why we didn't read it.
 * Mrs. Krabappel: Cramps.
 * Agnes Skinner: All my friends are dead.


 * Flanders: Homer, Sara wants us to have S-E-X.
 * Homer: Stupid Flanders, I'm not giving you any of my secret moves.
 * Flanders: Well, I'm not sure I wanna do it. I mean, who will buy the cow when you get the milk for free? You know, the cow being me.
 * Homer: Flanders, I'm always interested in talking about free milk and if there's cookies involved, so much the better.


 * Homer: (hearing the Benny Hill chase music) Uh-oh. Here comes Helen Fielding.