The Hesitation Ramification


 * Amy: It’s nice that we all get to eat together. [The guys mumble in agreement] Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
 * Sheldon: We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don’t have to.
 * Penny: Guys, guys. You’re never going to believe this.
 * Leonard: What happened?
 * Penny: I just got a job on a TV show.
 * Amy: Congratulations.
 * Leonard: That’s great. Guys! [Guys mumble acknowledgement.]
 * Amy: What’s the show?
 * Penny: NCII or you know NCSC. I don’t know. It’s the one with all the letters and I’m going to be on it.
 * Leonard: That’s amazing.
 * Howard: What’s your part?
 * Penny: I play a customer in a diner and I flirt with Mark Harmon.
 * Raj: OOO. Mark Harmon. He’s a dreamboat.
 * Leonard: So it’s just flirting?
 * Penny: Yeah, why?
 * Leonard: No reason. I just think it’s sexier when left to the imagination.
 * Penny: Oh.
 * Amy: He’s wrong.


 * Bernadette: Raj, when you said you were gonna bring a date to watch Penny’s thing tonight, I didn’t think you meant Stuart.
 * Howard: Really? I never for a second thought it’d be anything else.
 * Raj: I almost met someone last night, but I blew it. I was walking Cinnamon and this girl introduced herself, but she was so cute I panicked and said, wouldn’t it be easier if instead of talking we could just sniff each other’s butts?
 * Bernadette: (smiling crossly) Well, Stuart’s cute in his own way.
 * Stuart: When I was a baby, my mother called me her little possum.
 * Raj: Are possums cute?
 * Stuart: Not at all.
 * Howard: If you’re so intimidated by talking to attractive girls, maybe you should practice by talking to regular people.
 * Raj: You mean like fatties and uggos?
 * Bernadette: (suggesting crossly) Or maybe just stop talking.
 * Howard: I’m serious. Go to the mall, talk to anybody, practice, that way when you eventually do talk to a cute girl, it won’t be so scary.
 * Bernadette: (suggesting crossly again) Or just keep dating the possum.


 * Sheldon: A joke is a brief oral narrative summary with a climatic humorous twist.


 * Penny: Are you kidding me?
 * Leonard: What's wrong?
 * Penny: Well… the diner scene. Where’s my diner scene?
 * Sheldon: Well, don’t ask me. Until I see the prequel, I’m lost.
 * Penny: No. This was supposed the big scene with me and Mark Harmon, but it’s..it’s gone.
 * Bernadette: What happened?
 * Penny: They must have cut it.
 * Leonard: Oh, Penny. I’m sorry.
 * Howard: That stinks!
 * Raj: I’m sure you were great.
 * Penny: This doesn't make any sense to me. I mean..I thought I did a really good job. I…Excuse me.
 * Sheldon: I've been studying how to make people laugh. They say that comedy is tragedy plus time. Let's tickle some ribs.
 * Leonard: No.


 * Penny: You didn't get your part cut. And you didn't get your part cut. Yep, a bunch of old guys rocking out in a band all with erectile dysfunction, you didn't get your part cut.
 * Leonard: Hey, can we talk?
 * Penny: We can, but the part of Penny might get cut.


 * Leonard: (on the phone with a florist) Yes. How much for a hundred long stemmed red roses? Really? How much for three?
 * Penny: Hey.
 * Leonard: Yeah, I’ll call you back.
 * Penny: Look, I know you were just trying to help with your Star Wars thing. I didn't mean to call it idiotic.
 * Leonard: Well, I don’t think you called it idiotic.
 * Penny: Oh. Sorry, I meant to. Anyway, um, I was just upset with myself. I wasn't mad at you. I just feel like everything is falling apart.
 * Leonard: Come on. It’s okay.
 * Penny: No, it’s not okay. Look at me. OK. I took a temp job as a waitress forever ago, and still doing it. I can’t quit because guess what, I can’t do anything else. And I finally get me a big break and it goes away. I’m such a mess.
 * Leonard: No, you’re not.
 * Penny: Really? 'Cause this morning at Starbucks a pair of old underwear fell out of my pant leg. And it wasn't the only one in there.
 * Leonard: Okay, listen to me. This is just a minor setback.
 * Penny: No, it’s not! I've been out here for like ten years. I've nothing to show for it!
 * Leonard: You have me.
 * Penny: You’re right. I do have you. Mmm. Let’s get married.
 * Leonard: (caught by surprise) What?
 * Penny: Ohh. Leonard Hofstadter...will you marry me?
 * Leonard: (hesitantly) Uhhh...
 * Penny: (in disbelief, mocking him exaggeratedly and making herself sound stupid doing so) Did you seriously just say, "UUHHHNGHHH?!!"
 * Leonard: You know I love you, but you’re drunk and sad and feeling lost…
 * Penny: (making assumptions about Leonard's hesitation) Okay, so..so..you don’t want to marry me?
 * Leonard: That is not what I said!
 * Penny: (still assuming) No, forget it. I take it back! Offer's off the table!
 * Sheldon: Who’s in the mood to laugh?
 * Leonard: Really not a good time.
 * Sheldon: But I used science to construct the perfect joke.
 * Penny: I’m gonna go.
 * Leonard: No. Penny, don’t.
 * Penny: No, no. I just need to be alone! (walks out of the guys' apartment)


 * Sheldon: Can’t sleep?
 * Leonard: No.
 * Sheldon: Would you like to talk about it?
 * Leonard: Penny proposed and I didn't say yes.
 * Sheldon: Why not?
 * Leonard: That’s a good question.
 * Sheldon: Does that mean the relationship is over?
 * Leonard: I don’t know.
 * Sheldon: Why don’t you ask her?
 * Leonard: Because I am afraid to know the answer.
 * Sheldon: Well, I’m sorry.
 * Leonard: That’s it? You’re not going to make some dumb joke or inappropriate comment?
 * Sheldon: No. You’re my friend and I’m sorry.


 * Howard: "Star Wars" audition, take 1. Starring Howard Joel Wolowitz, real life astronaut. Vader is here, now on this moon. I felt his presence. He has come for me. He can feel when I’m near.
 * (Howard suddenly hears a quite angry Bernadette shouting from the bathroom)
 * Bernadette: (out of vision) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it’s empty?
 * Howard: (he shouts to his wife in irritation) I’m in the middle of something!
 * Bernadette: (out of vision) So am I!