The Greatest

(Episode begins by showing a pink planet bouncing to the beat as hearts fly off and peppy music plays in the background as an audience cheers)

(Cut to an overview of a carnival, we see a montage of creatures - the Binglebops - having fun and kissing)

(Heart iris to King Bingleborp, the Binglebops' leader)

King: I, King Bingleborp of the Binglebops, declare this Bingleberry Festival the best in the history of Binglebopolopolis.

(The Binglebops cheer)

King Bingleborp: Hip, hop, hooray! What a wonderful...day! (blows kisses)

(The Binglebops continue kissing and having fun. Suddenly, a skull-shaped ship crash-lands, destroying everything)

Lord Hater: (from inside the ship) WRONG!

(The ship's "tongue" rolls down to the ground as the Binglebops scream. The Watchdogs come out)

Watchdogs: Hate's great! Best villain!

(Commander Peepers comes out)

Peepers: This planet is now under the control of Loooooooooord Hater!

(While saying this, Lord Hater's shadow appears. There is a flash of lightning, and the scene zooms out as the Watchdogs continue to emerge)

Watchdogs: Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! (the Binglebops scream and run away) Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great!

(The Watchdogs attack the Binglebops everywhere)

Binglebop: AHH! Oh, get this thing of of me!!!

(Lord Hater and Peepers stomp over to Binglebop Castle as Lord Hater carries King Bingleborp)

Lord Hater: Soon, every planet in the universe, will be mine! Even pathetic little specks like Banglebrop, all under the control of...LOOORD HATER! (lightning flashes)

King Bingleborp: It's Bingleborp.

Lord Hater: ' I'LL CALL MY NEW PLANET WHATEVER I WANT!!! '

(He breaks through a wall into Binglebop Castle)

Lord Hater: For when the entire universe is mine, then, and only then, will I finally be...

(Zoom out to show the now distressed Planet Binglebop with Lord Hater's shadow on top. The episode's title appears)

Lord Hater: ...IN ALL THE GALAXYYYYYY! (evil laughter)

All right!

(Lord Hater sits on King Bingleborp's throne and laughs, but abruptly stops. He stands up and kicks it away, and has the Watchdogs bring in a bigger throne with skulls and spikes on it. He sits down and continues to laugh, lightning flashes)

(Scene cuts to show three Watchdogs sculpting a statue of Lord Hater. Zoom out to show the carnival on fire and the Binglebops hop away sadly as the Watchdogs send them off. One Binglebop gets zapped. Two purple Binglebops - one light, one dark - peek out from behind a bush)

Dark purple Binglebop: Oh, whoever will save us, now?!

(They kiss, a heart appears above them and they hug in fear. The heart breaks)

(The broken heart floats upward past a mountain with its tip over the sunlight. Western music plays; there, on the top of the mountain stands a silhouette; scene zooms in a little showing the shadow of someone on their noble steed. Zoom in more to show Wander and Sylvia, staring with angry expressions on their faces. There is a "ding" sound, and a big smile lights up Wander's face)

Wander: WOW! What a neat little town! There's a little park, and cute little buildings...games, and rides, and –

Sylvia: Rotting in one of Lord Hater's cells for the rest of our lives? Sorry, Wander, I don't think so. Oh! Everywhere we go, he's conquering planets, takin' over towns, and just bein' a flarf narblin', no fun havin', jerk! GOH! (punches) Ooh, this guy makes me so mad, I just wanna go up to his bony little face and – (does several karate poses) YAH! WOOH! WAH! But come on, you gotta be crazy to try and stop Hater. Huh, right, Wander? (Wander isn't there) Wander? (turns to the side) Wander? (turns around) Wand - WHOA!

(Camera shows Wander walking to the carnival as the Watchdogs see him)

Wander: Howdy, fellas! The folks call me Wander, and we really like your town! What's your name? (a Watchdog takes him) Whoa!

Watchdog: Take him to Lord Hater!

Watchdogs: (punch Wander around) Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! (continues)

Wander: Oh! Ow! Whoa! Ow! Uh! Oh!

(The Watchdogs begin passing Wander down the pack)

(Cut to Sylvia as she races down the mountain)

Sylvia: Oh, it's on, you little scuzzmonkeys! AHHHH!

(The Watchdogs continue chanting and passing Wander down with their hands)

Wander: Oh! Ow! Goh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, oh, ohhh, ho, ho ho ho! There, there, that's the spot, yeaaaah. Thanks, fellas, my back's been killin' me for days, but, travelin' through the universe'll do that to you, right? You know what I mean? Right? Right? Right? Right? Hey Sylvia, right?

(Cut to Sylvia bolting forward at top speed)

Sylvia: Right! (bombs into the Watchdogs and punches them in a pattern) Right, left, right, left, right, left...

(Cut to an overview of Wander being passed)

Wander: Sure, it's fun and all, but, phew! Sometimes, you just need to kick back and relax!

(Sylvia goes by, punching Watchdogs right to left. Close up on Wander)

Wander: I mean, don't you just wish that sometimes the constant... (imitates them) "Hate's great! Best villain! Taste cake! It's fillin'! Fix gate! Needs drillin'! Date﻿ Kate! She's willin'!" (normal voice) Would just stop?! (the Watchdogs stop chanting and stare at him) So you could finally, have a day off, and enjoy... (the Watchdogs stare at the carnival) The fair!

(The Watchdogs make happy expressions)

(Cut to a giant scroll on the floor inside the Binglebop Castle. Pan upwards to show Peepers presenting it while Lord Hater rests, still holding King Bingleborp)

Peepers: Hater's Law 9,842: your new favorite TV program is Lord Hater's Torture Room and Fun Time Variety Hour. Hater's Law 9,843: your new favorite band is Lord Hater and the Harbingers of Doom. Hater's Law 9,843: your new fav –

(They hear the Watchdogs cheering and laughing. They peek outside. Zoom out to show Planet Binglebop happy and bouncy again as the Watchdogs have fun. They are seen riding the merry-go-round, playing Balloon Darts and Test Your Strength, riding a sea-saw like ride, eating ice cream and doing lots of other fun things)

Do-do-do-do-do-do

Do-do-do do-do-do

Do-do-do-do-do-do

Do-do-do do-do-do

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do

Do-do-do-do-do-do

Do-do-do do-do-do

Do-do-do-do-do-do

Do-do-do do-do-do

(When we see them in front of a twister ride, they kiss like the Binglebops; heart iris back to Lord Hater and Peepers)

Do-do-do-do-do-do

Peepers: Do you think maybe I should, uh...

(Lord Hater glares at him; lightning flashes)

Peepers: I won't let you down, sir! (runs off with his blaster)

(Cut to Wander and Sylvia walking)

Sylvia: That was a blast. Huh ha ha!

Peepers: Whoa! Halt, in the name of Lord Hater! (fires up his blaster)

Wander: (slams Peepers' blaster away) Look at you and your little hat!! (grabs him and shakes him) YOU ARE SO CUTE, I CAN'T STAND IT!!! TRADE!!! (swaps his hat with Peepers' helmet)

Sylvia: Ha ha!

Wander: Shall we preserve the moment? (hands her a camera)

Sylvia: Say 'cheese'!

Peepers: (as Wander vocalizes) No! Not the flash, not the flash!!

(the picture is taken)

Peepers: (spins on the ground, his eye is burning) AHH! OH, MY EYE! I CAN'T SEE! WHOAHOAHOAHOAHOAHOAHOA!

(Everyone dances, Cut to Lord Hater, staring in surprise)

King Bingleborp: I think he may have let you down.

(Lord Hater starts to get mad, lightning flashes, he disappears, burning King Bingleborp)

King Bingleborp: Oh!

(Cut back to everyone dancing, lightning flashes and Lord Hater appears with them)

Sylvia: Put 'em up! Wanna mess with me? Huh? Come on, you're not so tough!

(lightning flashes)

Lord Hater: ENOOOOOUUUUGH!!!!!!

(All the fun stops, Sylvia slams against a tent)

Sylvia: Oohoho!

(Pan down to a rather horrified Wander as he crawls backwards and Lord Hater follows him)

Lord Hater: You shall pay for your foolishness! You shall suffer the full wrath of...LOOOORD HATERRRRR!

(lightning flashes)

Watchdogs: Hate's great! Best villain! Hate's great! Best villain! (continues)

(Peepers puts his helmet back on, cut to Lord Hater cornering Wander)

Lord Hater: I have mangled the minds of millions, I have tempted forth, torrential tides of tears! I have reduced the richest of republics, to revel, and ruin!

(Wander leans against Sylvia and they look at each other in fear)

Lord Hater: Because I...

(Cut to a view of Planet Binglebop with Lord Hater's shadow from earlier)

Lord Hater: ...AM THE GREATEST IN ALL THE GALAXYYYYYY!

(lightning flashes, Zoom back in on Lord Hater as Wander hugs him and a heart behind them irises the background back to its happy state)

Wander: Wow! Congratulations, that's amazing! Have you ever done this? (turns toward the camera, wiggles arms like an octopus and rolls eyes) Rooproopwhoop! Oohoohroop! Have you ever... (sticks tongue out) rolled your tongue? Have you ever done a ditty? (does a strange dance) Dididi duhduh diddiduhduhduhduh.

(Zoom in on Lord Hater's face with each talent mentioned)

Wander: Have you ever stood on one foot? Outrun a kitten? Been to a roller rink? Found a penny? Moved a couch? Ate a hundred hot dogs?

(Zoom out as Wander taps on Lord Hater's chest)

Wander: Have...you...ever... (reaches into his hat and feels around until he pulls out a big, gold trophy with a star on it) Won a trophy for the Greatest in the Galaxy Contest?

Sylvia: Huh? Have ya, have ya, have ya?

Lord Hater: RAAAWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Sylvia: Guess not.

(Hard rock-style game music begins to play as Lord Hater pulls Wander towards him)

Lord Hater: Oh. It's. ON!!!

(they smile)

(Song: Hot Dog Eatin')

(A montage begins of Wander and Lord Hater's contest, cut to them at the hot dog stand, Wander is wolfing down every hot dog but Lord Hater isn't keeping up)

Hot dog eatin', Hot dog eatin'

(Cut to them playing Ring Toss, Wander is winning but Lord Hater is not doing great)

Ring tossin', Ring tossin'

What's next?

(Cut to them playing Balloon Darts, Wander scores, but Lord Hater misses)

It's balloon dart throwin'

(Cut to them playing Ball toss, Wander scores, but Lord Hater fails to knock them down)

Baseball pitchin', baseball pitchin'

(Cut to Lord Hater watching Wander hit the bell in a game of Test Your Strength. Lord Hater takes a shot but fails to hit the bell. Wander applauds)

(Cut to them in the sea-saw ride from earlier. Wander is having the time of his life, but Lord Hater is trying not to puke)

Boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop

(Cut to them having an Arm Wrestling match, Wander wins, and suddenly plucks Lord Hater's arm off. He walks away)

Arm wrestlin', arm wrestlin'

(Cut to them playing Musical Chairs; the gramophone scratches, and Wander takes the only available seat)

(Cut to them having a Sack Race, Lord Hater trips over, causing Wander to take the lead)

Sack racin', sack racin'

(Cut to them playing Tug-o-war, Wander wins, Lord Hater falls into the pool)

Tug-o-war

(Cut to them balancing on unicycles, Lord Hater falls over)

Unicycle

(Cut to them doing push-ups, Lord Hater fails to do a push-up resulting in his arm to come lose again)

Push-up contest

(Cut to them having a Staring Contest, Lord Hater tries to stare at Wander but falls down while trying to do so)

Boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop

Lord Hater: RAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!

Off-Screen Voice: And-a now...

(Camera cuts to a gazebo with a judge holding a scroll. Lord Hater comes into view and gasps while the judge talks. The "judge" is actually Wander in disguise)

Wander: (speaking in a phony English accent) The winner, of the Grrreatest in the Galaxy Contest, uh, drrrumroll, please.

(Cut to a musician – also Wander in disguise – as he performs a drumroll. Cut to Lord Hater cringing with fear, real Wander is next to him)

Wander: (grabbing Lord Hater's stomach) I'M SO NERVOUS!!!

(We see Wander as the judge again)

Wander: You.

(Cut to Lord Hater and real Wander, who sulks)

Lord Hater: YEAH!

(Cut back to Wander as the judge)

Wander: No, the other guy, the one with the hat.

(Cut back to Lord Hater and real Wander, Lord Hater sulks while Wander jumps)

Wander: Hey, I have a hat!

(Cut to a hot female model with long blonde hair – also Wander in disguise - carrying the trophy from earlier and holding a bouquet of pink flowers. Real Wander takes them)

Wander: Wow, what a neat surprise!

''(Cut to a fan – also Wander in disguise. He is wearing a baseball hat that says "FAN" in red letters and a yellow and red foam finger reading "#1") '' Wander: WHOO!!!

(Cut back to real Wander, he jumps up and down whilst rubbing the trophy and flowers in Lord Hater's face)

Wander: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

(Lord Hater gets steaming mad)

'Lord Hater: IT'S NOT FAIR!!! I SHOULD'VE WON THE TROPHY! I'M THE GREATEST IN THE GALAXY! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!' (lifts up the bottom of his robe and skips off)

Wander: I like your sneakers!

(Pan over to Lord Hater trying to board his ship. The Watchdogs help him)

Watchdogs: It's okay sir, it's okay! We got you, sir. We got you, there we go.

(The ship's "tongue" rolls up and it takes off)

Wander: Later, Hater! Sure was fun playin' with you! (pause, to Sylvia) What?

Sylvia: That – was awesome. (holds up hand) Come on, up top.

Wander: (angrily) You put that filthy thing away. (happy) And gimmie the good stuff!

(They hug, the Binglebops come over and hug them. Suddenly, lasers start firing everywhere. The lasers are coming from Lord Hater's ship. The Binglebops scream and run away while Wander and Sylvia take off)

Lord Hater: (from inside the ship) WHO LOOKS STUPID NOW?!? (ship bangs) WHO'S NOT SO GREAT NOW?!? (bang) AH-HA-HA?!?

(the ship hits a tree, Sylvia screeches to a halt. Cut to Sylvia's perspective of the ship in the trees. Cut to her and Wander as she looks up, zoom out to show Lord Hater's statue)

Sylvia: Heeeeey. Gotta be crazy to try and stop Hater. Huh, right, Wander?

(They smile, cut to Lord Hater's ship as it breaks free of the tree. Lord Hater roars and the ship chases Wander and Sylvia around, firing lasers)

(Cut to inside the ship)

Peepers: (is getting bumped around) Please, sir-r! Just let them go! The planet is ours!

Lord Hater: Shut up, Peepers! Forget the planet, I want that trophy! I'm the greatest in the galaxyyyy!

(He leans a pencil on the "FIRE" buttons and repeatedly presses the ends)

(Cut back outside)

Lord Hater: RAAAAWWWWWWW!!!! (his ship loses control)

Wander: WAAAAAAHOOOOOOOO!!!! Hey, Hater! Final challenge for the win!

Sylvia: Last one to the town is a rotten egg!

(Cut to inside the ship)

Peepers: Please sir, no!

All right!

(Lord Hater activates a lever; it beeps, and the flames on the ship heat up. He presses the gas pedal so hard that it breaks through the ship's wall)

(Cut back outside)

All right!

(The ship starts blasting out of control)

(Cut back inside)

Lord Hater: Loooord Hater, number 1 superstar! WHOOOOOAAAA!

(Cut back outside, the ship blasts past Wander and Sylvia and, unbeknownst to Lord Hater, is heading right for his statue Camera switches back and forth between Lord Hater and the ship's view of the statue, speeding up as time goes)

Lord Hater: I'm...the greatest...in all...the...galaxyyyyyy!!!!

(The ship slams against the statue and lands on a moon planet in the distance, exploding as it lands)

(The Binglebops and King Bingleborp watch this, the Lord Hater statue breaks, revealing Binglebop Castle as a rainbow forms and the sun begins to set. Wander and Sylvia smile at the Binglebops cheer and Wander waves at them. The Binglebops crowd them and begin tossing them into the air)

Wander: Wow. What a...neat...little...town!

(The last time they bounce, the Binglebops kiss them all over, and hearts appear above them)

(Zoom in on the moon planet in the distance and cut to Lord Hater's broken ship, steaming. Pan over to Lord Hater and Peepers walking alone across the moon, burnt and charred, and Lord Hater's back is on fire, literally. They suddenly stop, zoom out to reveal Wander and Sylvia)

Wander: Hi. Sorry to bother, just wanted to stop by, and give you this. (while saying this, he takes off his hat, feels around the inside of it and pulls out the trophy. He hands it to Lord Hater) Congrats, you won that race fair and square. (Grabs Lord Hater's arm and makes it hold the trophy) Well, best be goin'!

(they skip off)

Wander/Sylvia: Later, Hater!

(Lord Hater throws the trophy away from him, detaching his arm again as well)