The Nuisance

A Letter

 * Bill overdue, final notice, noise complaint, traffic violation, cease and desist, restraining order... Dad? What are we supposed to do with all this?
 * Well...
 * Paper can be used in many creative ways and turned into a lot of interesting things. Like a duck.
 * Or fashion.
 * Inventions.
 * And other... things.
 * C'mon! There's gotta be at least one good letter!
 * Actually, yeah! We've got an invitation!
 * Huh?
 * We've never had one of those before!
 * That's not true! I've been invited to court several times!
 * No, it's from the Mayor.
 * He wants us to go to the town hall for a surprise?
 * Maybe they'll reveal a statue of me!
 * Why would they be making a statue of you?
 * I sit a lot, which makes me a pretty reliable life model. And I'm a great example to people.
 * They're more likely to make an example of you.
 * Maybe they cleared up that legal gray area about whether I'm a feral animal or your child.
 * Oh, honey. You're the same as all my kids! A combination of both.
 * I guess we'll just have to go and find out!
 * Maybe they'll reveal a statue of me!
 * Why would they be making a statue of you?
 * I sit a lot, which makes me a pretty reliable life model. And I'm a great example to people.
 * They're more likely to make an example of you.
 * Maybe they cleared up that legal gray area about whether I'm a feral animal or your child.
 * Oh, honey. You're the same as all my kids! A combination of both.
 * I guess we'll just have to go and find out!

A New House...

 * I don't want to say I told you so, because I wouldn't be heard over all this cheering. So I'll shout it instead. I TOLD YOU SO!
 * Welcome! Our social services have decided to offer you a new house.
 * Impossible. What's the catch? There's always a catch.
 * There's only a few compulsory addition terms, conditions, and hypothecations, or catches, for short.
 * What do you mean?
 * Well, the people of Elmore thought you deserved a brand new house in a brand new state with brand new neighbors who can put up with ya,  a brand new police force to deal with ya, and a brand new court system to prosecute you.
 * That sounds more like a punishment than a reward.
 * No one said it's an award, they said it's what you deserved.
 * But that's, like, banishing us!
 * Think of it more like witness protection. We're just protecting people from witnessing you.
 * Kinda feels less encouraging when you can see their faces...
 * But that's, like, banishing us!
 * Think of it more like witness protection. We're just protecting people from witnessing you.
 * Kinda feels less encouraging when you can see their faces...
 * Kinda feels less encouraging when you can see their faces...