How Saving Private Ryan Should Have Ended


 * Ryan: What sir?
 * Guy: Earn this. Earn it.
 * (Flashback ended)
 * Ryan: That's all I have to say about that.
 * Old Lady: What an amazing story.
 * Guy: Wait a second, are you freaking kidding me? You couldn't have been a captain in World War II and been a private in the Vietnam War. Ok, Mr. I've Met 3 Different Presidents. I suppose next you'll be telling us you were on the Apollo 13 mission! After all you are a ping pong champion why wouldn't you go to the moon? Maybe it's because you were too busy being a record producer selling a major hit song in the '60s. Or maybe you lived on a deserted island for six years... Oh wait wait. No, no, you were in a volcano. I suppose there you met a mermaid in the ocean and fell in love right? Oh or maybe you were a cop and had a giant dog for a partner who wouldn't let you sleep in Seattle because your neighbors were burying people in their backyard. Oh better yet! When you were a kid made a wish to be bigger. That's clearly the only way you could've done all these things, right? I mean, according to you, you've done everything from dressing up like a woman to being Santa Claus!
 * Buzz Lightyear: Man, that guy was annoying.