Raiders of the Lost Shark

(Setting: the desert just outside of Agrabah, at dawn)

(Farouk the merchant has a cart full of melons led by a camel, but the camel refuses to move. Farouk tries pulling the camel forward, to no avail. Tired, he stops for a drink of water from his canteen. As he does this, the ground begins to shake. He looks around: there's nothing there. As he takes another sip, something appears in front of him, casting a huge shadow.)

(Setting: the marketplace)

Aladdin: (sigh) Some feast I'm planning for Jasmine. All I can afford is this bag of rice.

Genie: Do not despair, mon capitan! (appears as a chef) I, Chef Genie, will create a culinary masterpiece for your loved one: Turkey Surprise! La petite monkey, the eggs.

(Abu opens the sack of rice, and an ostrich wearing ballet slippers, like the ones in Fantasia, jumps out.)

Genie: Merci, Babette. Over there, s’il vous plaît. And why not put those feather dusters to work as you go, huh? Now, ze milk!

(A cow's head pops out of the sack and moos.)

Genie: And now, the secret ingredient that makes my Turkey Surprise: the turkey! (reaches into the sack and pulls out Iago)

Iago: Watch it, mandrake!

Aladdin: (sigh) Thanks, Genie, but it's not the same.

Iago: Ooh, if that genie touches me, what a hit I'm gonna give 'im. Right in the schnoz.

Aladdin: I wanna do things for Jasmine on my own. And that takes money!

Iago: Hey, Einstein! Ever hear of the sultan? He likes you. He'll let you have all kinds of riches.

Aladdin: I don't want other people's money.

Iago: Ugh, the kid's delirious.

Genie: Al, stop this, you're depressing me! How about we take your mind off your bank account with donuts? (holds up a box of donuts)

Farouk: (pushing through the crowd) A monster!

(A giant dorsal fin crashes through the city wall, as if a giant shark is burrowing through the sand. It "swims" down the street, destroying merchants' stalls, while people run screaming in all directions. When it approaches the gang, Aladdin and Genie jump to either side, but Abu can't get out of the way in time, and ends up grabbing the dorsal fin and riding it.)

Abu: Aladdin! Aladdin!

Genie: (turns his hand into a phone) Operator! Get me the fire department! (turns into a fire engine and races after the shark, but runs into a wall) Make that an ambulance.

(Aladdin is flying overhead on Carpet, and sees the shark head for the palace.)

Aladdin: (gasp) Oh no, Jasmine!

(Setting: the palace. The sultan is placing tiles on the floor as Jasmine watches.)

Sultan: There, all done.

Jasmine: It's a lovely mosaic, Father.

Sultan: Ooh, yes yes yes, I'm quite proud of it myself.

(The giant dorsal fin crashes through the door and enters the room, destroying the mosaic and knocking Jasmine and Sultan to either side. It goes out the other side of the room, with Abu still hanging on. Aladdin enters on Carpet, following it.)

Aladdin: Sultan, are you all right?

Sultan: Yes, but if that monkey doesn't slow down, someone's going to get hurt!

(Genie, as a trapeze artist, swings down and rescues Abu.)

Genie: Hey, we'd be big time in the big top. Alley oop! (tosses Abu to Aladdin and Jasmine, on Carpet)

Aladdin: Gotcha!

Jasmine: Aladdin, what was that thing?

Aladdin: I don't know, but I don't think we've seen the last of it.

(We see the fin "swimming" away from Agrabah.)

(Setting: the throne room, that evening. A group of merchants has shown up to complain to the sultan while Rasoul watches over them holding a giant axe. Sultan is pacing back and forth on the balcony while Aladdin, Jasmine, Abu, and Iago watch.)

Farouk: Something must be done!

Merchant: I can't lose any more customers!

Omar: Your highness! (tries to step closer to Sultan, but Rasoul blocks him with his axe) The monster destroyed my stand and ate all of my wares!

Farouk: Forget his rotting fruit, what about our lives?! What are you going to do about it?!

Sultan: Please, please! I assure you, I am exploring all possibilities, not the least of which is—

Jasmine: A flying boat!

Sultan: Yes, a flying… what? Jasmine, this is no time for—

Jasmine: No, look! (points out over the balcony)

(A flying ship floats into Agrabah, stopping when it reaches the palace. We can now see the ship's captain, a tall man holding a harpoon.)

Captain: I seek the Beast.

Iago: (whispering to Abu) Has he tried a mirror lately?

Sultan: (under his breath) Remarkable! (yelling) I'm afraid you have us at a loss, Captain. (to Jasmine) Simply amazing!

Captain: I am called Murk. For twenty years I have hunted the Seven Deserts for the Beast who swims the sands!

Sultan: It seems our interests are mutual! What would be your price for capturing the Beast?

Murk: All I ask is a strong crew. Your gold means nothing to me. The Beast winters in hidden caves filled with treasure. The gold and jewel ransom of a thousand sultans has been pressed into his belly. Riches such as this! (pulls a large diamond out of his vest)

Iago: I love this town!

Murk: Half those riches will go to he who helps me catch the Beast!

Iago: (to Aladdin) Simon says, raise your hand!

Sultan: Indeed, Captain Murk, treasure is no incentive to us, either! But we do need to protect our city. For that reason, I offer my most courageous subject—

(Sultan starts to gesture toward Rasoul, but Aladdin jumps in front of him.)

Aladdin: Aladdin's the name, but you can call me Al. I am honored by your confidence, Sultan. I will not let you down.

Sultan: (confused) Uh, oh, very well. Aladdin.

Iago: That's my boy! (ruffles Aladdin's hair and kisses his forehead)

Jasmine: I have a question for the captain: what became of his last crew?

Murk: Better to ask the Beast. He is the one that ate them.

(Jasmine and Iago gasp; Aladdin looks nervous.)

(Setting: same place, the next morning.)

Murk: Prepare to cast off!

Aladdin: (to Jasmine) I guess it's time to say goodbye…

Jasmine: Yes… Goodbye, Father, don't worry about me.

Aladdin: What?

Sultan: Jasmine! I had no idea!

Jasmine: (putting on a cape and climbing onto the ship) You wouldn't let Aladdin risk his life for Agrabah without me, would you?

Sultan: Well, actually…

Murk: No! I will not have it! Bad enough I sail with a bird, a monkey, and a comedian!

Genie: (dressed as a pirate) Who, me?

Murk: I'll not be slowed by a useless woman!

Jasmine: Useless?! (takes Murk's harpoon off him and throws it at the center of the ship's wheel, which Iago is sitting on)

Iago: Hey!

(Jasmine looks at Murk, smugly.)

Murk: (smirking) You missed the parrot.

(Setting: the desert, later that day. Murk's ship flies over the desert. Carpet is on lookout while Aladdin works the rigging and Abu plays an accordion. Genie has turned his body into a mop and is swabbing the deck. Murk sees Genie and is shocked.)

Abu: Uh oh!

Murk: So you are a genie.

Genie: What gave it away?

Murk: Magic won't save you. We all taste the same to the Beast.

Genie: Jolly sorta guy, isn't he?

Iago: (hanging over the side of the boat) Boy, am I seasick!

Aladdin: How can you be seasick? We're not even at sea.

Iago: Seasick, sandsick, I'm gagging and you're killin' me with logic!

Jasmine: Maybe you just don't have what it takes to be a hero, like my Aladdin.

Iago: Ugh, like my stomach isn't weak enough.

Jasmine: You were so brave to volunteer.

Aladdin: Well, sure, with all that treasure.

(Jasmine starts to walk away, offended.)

Aladdin: Not that I don't wanna save Agrabah!

Murk: The Beast is close!

(Aladdin and Jasmine look over the side and see the shark swimming alongside them.)

Murk: Ready the harpoon!

Aladdin: Yes, sir!

Murk: Not you! The girl! (hands his harpoon to Jasmine)

(Something hits the ship.)

Murk: It is the Beast!

(The ship starts tilting to one side. Aladdin and Jasmine hang onto the ship, but some crates onboard start sliding the other way. One slides overboard and the shark swallows it.)

Murk: Time to conquer. (throws a harpoon at the shark, which catches it in its teeth and chews it to pieces)

(Abu starts sliding toward the Beast.)

Aladdin: Abu! (slides after Abu, grabbing him just before he reaches the shark)

Genie: Hope you buy those harpoons by the case!

(The shark swims away.)

Murk: Look how he laughs at us!

Iago: He's retreating! That's my luxury condo swimming off, Captain!

Murk: Then we will use a little bait. (grabs Abu) Here's a meal for you, Beast! (throws him overboard)

(The shark turns around and starts heading back to them.)

(Carpet is caught under one of the fallen crates and can't reach Abu.)

Genie: Yes, sir! (turns into a fisherman) Gonna catch me an amazing sand monkey! (casts toward Abu; a banana is on the end of the line. When it lands in front of Abu, the banana unpeels and a tiny Genie is inside) Just don't turn around.

(Abu turns around and sees the Beast right behind him.)

Genie: Told ya!

(The fisherman-Genie reels Abu in, and Jasmine catches him.)

Iago: You couldn't let him use you as bait, huh? And they say I'm selfish.

(Abu tackles Iago.)

Murk: Come back and face me, Beast!

(The shark is swimming away again.)

Murk: I will chase you into the abyss of doom and have your demon hide if I must feed you our souls in the bargain!

Genie: Our souls? Can he do that?

Jasmine: I don't know who's more dangerous, the monster out there or the one running this ship.

Aladdin: (pointing) The rocks!

Genie: Whoa! Uh oh!

(Before they can do anything about it, the ship hits a rock formation and stops.)

Murk: Bring the boat around! We cannot lose the Beast!

Genie: I don't think that's gonna be a problem. (points)

(The shark is headed back toward the stranded ship.)

Murk: Better hold on, boy. He looks hungry.

Iago: That's it. We're seafood.

Aladdin: Genie, we've got to lift the ship!

Genie: You've got it! Here's one they loved down at the auto club!

(Genie goes under the boat, turns into a jack and raises it up. The boat is now free of the rocks.)

Genie: Yes!

(The Beast comes up behind Genie and swallows him whole.)

Aladdin: Genie. Genie! No.

(The Beast swims away.)

Murk: We all taste the same to the Beast.

(Genie shoots up from under the sand.)

Genie: Yuck! (jumps into a bucket and starts scrubbing himself with soap) Oh, ever been inside one of those? It's like a flea market in there. That thing eats anything! (drops an anchor, a safe, and a clay pot on the deck)

Jasmine: (hugging Genie) And Murk keeps sending it customers.

Aladdin: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

(The ground starts to rumble.)

Abu: Uh oh…

(The shark jumps completely over the ship, showing the gold and jewels pressed into its belly. Some of it falls down into the ship as it passes overhead.)

Aladdin: (picking up a ruby) I never dreamed! There's so much! The Beast was covered with treasure!

Genie: (turns his head into an old-fashioned calculator) The jeweled ransom of a thousand sultans, minus taxes, comes to a total of… Wow! His love handles alone could rebuild Pompeii!

Iago: Forget the condo, I'll buy a palace! (to Jasmine) Uh, you'll give me a good price, right?

(Jasmine sighs.)

Murk: The Beast is headed south. We must move quickly.

Jasmine: That's wonderful! If the Beast is headed south then Agrabah is safe! We can go home!

Aladdin: But Jasmine, the treasure!

Jasmine: My father has enough for us.

Aladdin: Those riches belong to the sultan! I have to make my own!

Murk: What is it to be, boy? The girl or the gold?

Aladdin: I don't have to choose. Just one more day, Jasmine. Maybe two.

Murk: Twenty years, at most. (walks away)

Jasmine: He tried to feed Abu to the Beast. He cares about nothing but the treasure. And you're becoming just like him.

(Setting: the ship, that night. Murk drops anchor and the boat stops. He goes into the room where Jasmine is sleeping with Carpet as her blanket. Carpet wakes up as he approaches, but Murk grabs him and locks him in a chest.)

Jasmine: (groggily) Huh? Uh, what's going on?

Murk: (pulling a small pouch out of his vest) Nothing personal, Princess, but I am too close to catching the Beast to risk losing my crew.

Jasmine: But Aladdin's staying—

(Murk throws the pouch at Jasmine; a gas comes out of it that knocks Jasmine unconscious.)

Murk: (carrying Jasmine away) I have seen men like your Aladdin. His eye may be on the treasure, but it is his heart that does the thinking.

(Murk lowers the sleeping Jasmine over the side of the boat and leaves her in the middle of the desert.)

Murk: Sleep well, Princess. (throws a bottle of water onto the sand next to Jasmine)

(The ship leaves, and we can see the Beast approaching Jasmine from a distance.)

(Setting: the ship, the next morning. Aladdin, Abu, and Iago are asleep in a hammock in another room on the ship. There's a knocking sound from outside that wakes them up.)

Aladdin: What's goin' on?

(The door bursts open and the chest containing Carpet flies inside. Genie emerges from his lamp wearing his nightclothes.)

Genie: I think it's trying to tell us something. What is it, Trunky? Timmy's stuck in the well again? (he zaps the lock and Carpet flies out)

Aladdin: Carpet? What are… (gasps) Where's Jasmine?

(Murk is steering the ship; Aladdin approaches him.)

Murk: The storm is getting worse. Secure the—

Aladdin: Where's Jasmine?

Murk: I put her on a trade route. A caravan will pick her up. (Aladdin walks away) Where are you going? What about the jewels?

Aladdin: Some things are worth more than treasure. (climbs on Carpet with the others; they fly away)

(Setting: the desert. The wind is blowing fiercely and there is thunder and lightning. Jasmine trudges through the desert.)

Jasmine: (sarcastically) Aladdin can't save Agrabah without me. Look, I can throw a harpoon…

(Jasmine takes shelter from the wind behind some large rocks. The ground starts to rumble. Jasmine gasps as she sees the Beast approaching.)

(The others are flying towards where Jasmine was left, fighting against the wind.)

Genie: Come on, rug-man! When the going gets tough, the woven get goin'!

(Carpet can't fly against the wind any longer, and everyone is thrown to the ground.)

Iago: Well, he went.

Aladdin: We'll have to go on foot. Carpet can't fight this wind.

Genie: Good call. (Carpet is plastered to Genie's face by the wind)

Aladdin: Jasmine! Jasmine!

(Jasmine has climbed to the top of the rock and is waving to get Aladdin's attention.)

Jasmine: Aladdin!

Aladdin: She's over there! (they run over to the base of the rock) Jasmine, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking!

Jasmine: Not now, Aladdin, just get up here!

Aladdin: I have to say this: you're my treas—

Genie: Al, listen to the little lady.

Aladdin: Genie!

(Genie turns Aladdin's head; he sees the shark swimming toward them. Genie pulls the others out of the way just before it gets to them, and it crashes into the rock. He places them at the top of the rock with Jasmine. Aladdin and Jasmine hug.)

Aladdin: I don't know how long we'll be safe here.

(There's a crashing sound and the rock starts to shake.)

Iago: Not long enough!

(The shark is beating the rock with its tail to try to knock them down. Suddenly, a harpoon strikes the Beast in its tail, and it sinks down into the sand. Murk's boat pulls up to the rock and stops.)

Murk: No crew abandons Murk.

Jasmine: Who abandoned who, Captain?

Aladdin: Now is not the time, Princess.

(They all climb back onto the ship. We can see the Beast swimming away; it's still alive.)

Aladdin: Thank you, Captain.

Murk: Deserters. If I did not need you I would let the Beast have his meal.

(Something hits the boat, knocking Aladdin and Jasmine off their feet.)

Aladdin: Everyone stay calm!

Iago: Ever notice how that suggestion never works?

(Some time passes and they don't hear anything else.)

Jasmine: Is it gone?

Murk: Doubtful. It has not yet fed.

(The shark suddenly jumps up halfway onto the boat, snapping its jaws at the crew. Aladdin and Jasmine fall off the opposite side of the boat. Abu starts sliding towards the Beast's jaws, but Iago swoops down and saves him.)

Genie: (as a football player) Time to book, rug-man! (jumps over the side of the boat, holding Carpet like a football)

Aladdin: We have to make it to the cliffs!

Genie: Good call, Coach!

(The shark slips back down under the sand. Aladdin and his friends start to climb to the top of some nearby cliffs.)

Aladdin: Wait! Where's Murk?

(Murk is standing on the sand below the cliffs. He picks up a broken harpoon off the ground as the Beast swims toward him. Aladdin sees Murk, who is grinning like a madman, preparing to stab the approaching shark. Aladdin jumps back down to the ground.)

Genie: Al!

Iago: Are you dinghy?

Aladdin: We have to draw it away from Murk! (starts jumping around, trying to get the shark's attention)

Iago: Case closed.

(The others come down off the cliff and start jumping, too.)

Aladdin: Hey! Hey, over here! Come on! Over here! Hey, look!

Genie: Here beastie beastie beastie! Here beastie! (whistles)

(The Beast passes by Murk and swims toward the others. Everyone stops jumping except for Aladdin.)

Genie: This would really be a good time for a new plan.

Aladdin: Keep stomping!

Jasmine: Beast! Over here!

(The shark leaps out of the sand towards them.)

Aladdin: Okay… jump!

(They jump to either side and the shark hits the side of the cliff. It lies on the sand, unmoving.)

Jasmine: Do you think it's dead?

Genie: (turns into a doctor and examines it with a stethoscope) Nah. Give him two Asprin and call Jacques Cousteau in the morning.

(Setting: Agrabah, at night. The Beast is tied up in front of the palace, and a crowd has gathered to come see it.)

Iago: Look at that gold! Time to call my broker!

(Abu chatters excitedly and claps his hands.)

Iago: Hey, what are you drooling about? You were just bait.

Abu: What?

Iago: No way does bait get a part of the treasure.

(Abu tackles Iago and they start fighting.)

Sultan: Well, Captain, you must be pleased that your long hunt is finally over.

Murk: Yes. Chasing the Beast was my life.

Sultan: Sounds like it was quite exciting.

(Murk nods, smiling.)

Sultan: But, what are you going to do with your life now?

Murk: I… I don't know.

Jasmine: I hope you're happy. It's a wonder no one was killed! But the treasure is yours, you got what you wanted.

Murk: (sigh) Did I?

(Setting: the palace, the next morning. Rasoul is walking along the palace wall when he sees the Beast is gone.)

Rasoul: The Beast has escaped! The Beast has escaped!

(Setting: later that day. Murk is preparing to leave.)

Jasmine: But do you think Agrabah is in any danger?

Murk: The Beast had no taste for being captured. He'll head home. I can head him off if I go north. Are you with me, boy?

Aladdin: Not this time, Captain.

Murk: Thinking with your heart.

(Murk's ship flies away.)

Genie: I think he forgot this. (holds up the broken harpoon)

Aladdin: He cut the ropes himself!

Iago: It's a double cross! He wants all the gold!

Aladdin: Nah, I think Murk just realized some things are worth more than treasure.