Fugue and Riffs


 * Archer: Okay kids, who wants Manning Colesaw? And/or explanation of why that's... funny. Sorry, guyd, we're um... closed, yeah. Thanks for getting asise from me because we are closed. Especialltt now that door is locked. And you'rre not really supposed to be back here. Even if you have a, a... I was gonna say hairnet.
 * Linda: Bob? is everything...
 * Archer: Everything's fine, we're...
 * Linda: Closed, Bob...
 * Archer: Linda! Take the kids in the back. Kids, go in the back with your mom.
 * Linda: Bob, what did they want?
 * Archer: Hamburgers, Linda, now would you please go in the goddamn back?
 * Linda: Well, excuse me, "Ike Turner". Geez.
 * Archer: Look, the hamburger wasn't a big seller, so there's not much. But, um...
 * Goon 1: We don't want money. We want you.
 * Archer: I'm sorry.
 * Goon 1: We are not robbers.
 * Archer: Oh, my god. Okay, yes, you can rob them, but... just please don't hurt my family.
 * Goon 3: We mean we're not robbers.
 * Archer: Oh. Well, then, what do you want?
 * Goon 1: You.
 * Goon 3: Da.
 * Archer: Wha-? No!
 * Goon 1: Ty sukin syn, ISIS shpion! Even if you kill us, more will come, Archer!
 * Archer: Khorosho! a ih toje zamochu togda!
 * Linda: Bob!
 * Arcer: Oh my God, are you guys okay?!
 * Linda: We-- yeah, we're-- but... Bob! Where'd you learn to do that?!
 * Archer: I-- I dunno, it was like, instinct.
 * Linda: And we're you speaking Russian?!
 * Archer: Was I? But I don't even know any-- Russian! Loo, the label in his coat has those idiot Russian letters!
 * Linda: Why the he'll are Russians trying to kill you?!
 * Archer: I don't know! He called me "Archer" maybe they think I'm somebody else...


 * Archer: Linda, you heard him! Whoever they are, he said they'd keep coming!


 * Archer: What I am I gonna do, is find out who this Archer jerk is, and why Russian people want him dead. I'm also probably gonna do a spa weekend.