Momma's Boy

Mr. Pickles: Season: 3 - Episode: 2

[incomplete & unfixed/messed]


 * Ah, we’re here! Legend says these woods are evil the perfect place to sacrifice a kitten.
 * [MEOWS] [LAUGHS] Oh, this place is creepy.
 * I’ll be honest.
 * I only dress dark like this to meet new people.
 * [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] OMG! Me too! Then let’s go chill at my parent’s beach house! Aah! Help! Somebody call the sheriff! Ugh! [WHIMPERS]
 * TOMMY: Mr. Pickles!
 * Morning, Mama! You may eat now, Sheriff.
 * Yay! Now.
 * Num-num-num-num.
 * Yummy! [ZIPPER ZIPS] Right, Abigail? I know what’s yummy.
 * There’s pudding in that cupboard over there.
 * [SLAP] Aw! - No pudding till after supper! - I’m sorry.
 * Here, I know how to cheer you up.
 * - [MOANS] - [MOANS] Oh, yeah.
 * You love it when I brush you, don’t you, Mama? Mm! - Yes, you do! - Oh, yes.
 * [CLEARS THROAT] Why, Mr. BoJenkins! What’s up, man? I was just chilling out, you know.
 * Just trying to get that pudding.
 * Ha ha.
 * Wait.
 * What are you doing here? Oh.
 * Uh I was just "pudding" some pipe down up in your mama’s bedroom.
 * [LAUGHS] Oh.
 * [LAUGHS] Thanks, man.
 * You’re a good friend.
 * Why don’t you stay awhile? Oh, not today, Mama.
 * I got to go see my Uncle Jimmy.
 * You’re always going to see your Uncle Jimmy.
 * Hmph! Bye, Mama! - Bye, Mama! - Sheriff I didn’t know you were such a mama’s boy.
 * You need to be a man, man! What? I am a "man" man, man! A man can eat whenever he wants.
 * Really? Sheriff, how ‘bout I show you how to be a man? Oh, but leave your doll here.
 * She’s not a doll! She’s Abigail.
 * Ugh.
 * Yah! Are we going to see your Uncle Jimmy? There’s no Uncle Jimmy.
 * [LAUGHS] Yah! Hyah! [LAUGHS] Now, there’s three things you got to do to be a man.
 * Step one, have a drink.
 * Two, get in a fight.
 * And, three, Sheriff, you ever been with a woman? Oh, yeah, dude.
 * Ha ha.
 * Nunh-unh, Sheriff.
 * - Abigail! - Boy, we got work to do.
 * - Oh.
 * - Hey, Sheriff! - Hey, good to see you, Sheriff! - Hi, Sheriff! My man, two whiskeys.
 * [LAUGHS] I’ve never seen you drink, Sheriff.
 * I drink sometimes.
 * Put that in a sippy cup.
 * You don’t sip it, Sheriff.
 * You shoot it.
 * Oh, yeah! Ooh Mmm.
 * Ohh! Oh.
 * Whoa! I feel good! [LAUGHS] Ha ha! Now, on to step two.
 * No, seriously.
 * I feel all warm and cozy, like I’m floating in a warm universe of happy liquids all over my wiggly body.
 * Say what, now? Oh, what’s this drink taste like? Whoa! Easy, now, player.
 * I love you, man.
 * Oh, all right.
 * [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS] Oh! - And I love this song! - Uh, Sheriff? Hey, everybody! I’m having fun! [CROWD CHEERS] Yeah! Let’s boogie-woogie-woogie! Hey! Get your hands off my female Unless you trying to throw down! All right, step two.
 * Ha ha! You want to fight? Well, let’s fight! - Whoa! - Aah! Not that kind of fight, Sheriff! I think it’s time you put a plug in that jug.
 * [SLURRING] Don’t tell me what to do! Whoa! Everybody just sit down and shut up! Sheriff’s got drinking to do.
 * [LAUGHS] Uh-oh.
 * [GARGLING] Look, boy! I found a rectangle.
 * [CELLPHONE BEEPS] JOLENE: I thought you were with your Uncle Jimmy.
 * Where are you? I want that sausage.
 * I’m by the River Tavern, and I don’t have a sausage.
 * But I have a pickle you can eat.
 * [BARKS] No! This is for the talking rectangle to eat.
 * - Hello? Hey! - Hello? SHERIFF: Aah! Bang, bang! [GUNSHOT] Sheriff! Bang-bang, bang-bang! Sheriff, be cool, man! - Put the gun down! - No! I’m the sheriff! I’ll arrest this whole universe even all the aliens.
 * Aliens? Sheriff, you drunk.
 * I’m not drunk! I’m perfectly fine! - Let’s get out of here! - No, ladies, don’t leave! [CRYING] Oh, my God! I better call his mama.
 * Mm.
 * Hey.
 * Where’s my - Looking for this? - Uh-oh.
 * I found your talking rectangle! - Mm-hmm.
 * - Mm-hmm.
 * Sheriff, put some clothes on.
 * - Mama.
 * - Oh, no.
 * Mr.
 * Blur made me drink.
 * You think you can sex all of us and lie about going to see your Uncle Jimmy? Ladies, I can explain! Hey.
 * That’s what you told Mama.
 * Uh So that means you had sex with Mama! Oh! Whoa! Aah! Ohh! - Sheriff! - Sheriff! [LAUGHS] Whoa! Hey, come back here! Ohhhhh! Oh! Oh! Aaaahhh! - Ugh! - [GRUNTING] Damn, Sheriff! You drank too much.
 * I didn’t mean fight me! Although that was step two.
 * Shut up! If you’re gonna have sex with Mama, you’re gonna marry her.
 * Now, just ‘cause you take a hooptie for a test-drive don’t mean you got to buy it.
 * Don’t try to change the subject.
 * I’m talking about Mama! If you were a man, Mama’s Boy, we’d never be in this mess.
 * Well, maybe I don’t got to drink, fight, and sex to be a man.
 * Maybe you’re no friend at all.
 * Just a no-good bozo! Fine.
 * Let’s just go our separate ways.
 * Good luck in the wild with your doll, Mama’s Boy.
 * She’s not a doll! She’s Abigail? Abigail! Shut up, Sheriff! No, shut up, Sheriff! - Shut up! - No, you shut up! Seriously, shut up.
 * Something’s out there! [RUSTLING] All right, I’m shutting up.
 * But it’s not because you told me to! [BIRD CRIES] Aw.
 * Oh, man! My head hurts! - Shut up.
 * Shut up.
 * - Why does my head hurt so bad? Will you Shut up! There’s something up in them woods.
 * It could be cannibals.
 * Or sexually-confused inbreds or Oh, it’s just a bunch of wolves.
 * Wolves?! [WOLVES GROWLING] Oh! Sheriff, we got to man up and fight these wolves! Nah.
 * You don’t got to fight to be a man.
 * Uh, come get some, wolf bitches! - Oh.
 * Man.
 * - Whuh! Ahh! Wa-haa! - [WOLVES GROWLING] - [SCREAMING] Aah! Uhh! Uhh! [CRYING] Good news! I found Abigail! Not now! They eating me! Aah! Just tell the wolves to stop or you’ll arrest them.
 * Good idea.
 * Now, listen up, wolves! Oh, great.
 * I already got your attention.
 * Huh?! Now, place your paws behind your heads.
 * [WOLVES SNARLING] Hey, the doll! They like the doll! I’m sorry.
 * Who? [GROANS] Abigail.
 * Thank you very much.
 * [SNARLING STOPS] Now, hi, wolves! My name is Abigail.
 * I’m a little funny girl.
 * Look at me walk! Doop-de, doop-de, doop, boop And fly around.
 * Whee! I can sing a song.
 * La, la-la, la-la What else can I do? Look, I’m over here.
 * And now I’m over here.
 * And now I’m over here.
 * - Yeah, Sheriff! - And now I’m over here.
 * It’s working! And now I’m over here.
 * [BIRD CRIES] And now I’m over here.
 * And now I’m over here.
 * [SNORING] Sheriff, wake up! [WOLVES BARKING] Aaaaahhhh! A-A-A-Abigail! Oh! I am never drinking again.
 * [WHIMPERS] Uh-oh.
 * The mama wolf! Goodbye, Mama’s Boy! [GROWLING] Uh! Uh! Aaaahhh! Hey, I know how to cheer you up.
 * See, you are just cranky ‘cause of these knots back here.
 * Oh, yeah.
 * You like it when I brush you, Mama Wolf.
 * - [LAUGHS] Yes, you do.
 * - She likes you! I guess being a mama’s boy can be pretty handy.
 * Oh, yeah.
 * I’m pretty pretty cool.
 * Oh! [LAUGHING] Oh.
 * - What? - I, uh [LAUGHS] What, man? What? I think Mama Wolf likes you a little too much.
 * [LAUGHS] What do you mean? Welcome to step three! [LAUGHS] What? Oh, no.
 * I can’t do that.
 * [WOLVES GROWLING] You better go have sex with that wolf, or we’re dead! Oh, no.
 * Oh.
 * Well, uh nice place you got, I guess.
 * Oh.
 * [CHUCKLES] Okay.
 * Look, uh, I don’t know about this.
 * You know, I Oh! You’re very assertive.
 * Oh.
 * Look, you know, I’m kind of waiting for marriage and Oh.
 * You want me to take my pants off? [SNARLS] Okay.
 * Don’t look.
 * Oh! Oh.
 * Uh, okay.
 * Oh! Um Hey, uh, shouldn’t we get to know each other a little first? Hey, what are you doing to my pee-pee? Hey! Aah! Aah! Aah! What’s happening? Aah! Oh, can you slow down? Owie, owie, owie, owie! That hurts! [MUFFLED] That hurts! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow-ooooohhh! [HOWLS] - [SIGHS] - Ha ha! Sheriff, now you’re a man.
 * [SNARLS] Huh? Sorry, babe.
 * I got to go see my Uncle Jimmy.
 * [LAUGHS] Huh? Uh-oh.
 * Her man’s home.
 * Only one thing to do in this situation! Run! - Aaaaahhhh! - Aaaaaahh! Oh! [PANTING] I guess we outran it.
 * I don’t think that Well, anyway, it’s all good, man.
 * Just be good to Mama.
 * - Oh, and do me a favor.
 * - Yeah? Can you not tell anybody I had sex with a wolf? [CHUCKLES] Hi, Sheriff! Sheriff, you had sex with a wolf? Aw! Hee! Oh.
 * It started with a kiss, and then [GROWLS] I had to kiss you once again [WHIMPERS] [PANTING] Hey, uh, I got to be honest.
 * There is no Uncle Jimmy.
 * But, look, I’m really not looking for a relationship.
 * Oh! What are you doing here, Mr. Pickles? [WHIMPERING] What will your mama say When she finds out what we did today? [WOLF HOWLING] [DISTORTED] What will your mama say