Tak: The Hideous New Girl

A bird flies through the air carrying a worm in its mouth. It flies through smog and starts twirling downward above the Skool. Two children skip happily in front of the Skool. Several birds in a tree chirp. The birds take flight and fly towards the skool. They dive downward down the side of the skool flying past a window where Willy can be seen bullying a smaller student. They fly past another window where Dib can be seen looking at two cyborg squirrels dancing on the window ledge outside. Ms. Bitters is using a rotary phone on her desk.

Ms. Bitters: No!

The squirrels hop away and Dib looks at Ms. Bitters. Ms. Bitters stands up.

Ms. Bitters: No! Noo!!

Ms. Bitters holds the phone away from her ears. The sound of pig squeals can be heard on the other end of the phone. She puts the phone back up to her face.

Ms. Bitters: You'll pay for this one!

Ms. Bitters hangs up the phone. It sets on fire and a soul rises from it. The burning phone lowers into Ms. Bitters' desk and a covering closes behind it.

Ms. Bitters: Class, despite my moral outrage, the Skool principal is allowing you to celebrate Valentine's Day this year.

Alex leaps out of her seat. Her pencil flies out of her hands and spins in the air while her eyes turn into heart shapes. The class cheers. Chunk rips his desk from the floor. Zita, Mathew P. Mathers III, and Keef fly through the air. Most of the children get out of their desks. Melvin holds a heart shaped balloon that says 'Happy Valentines Day' on it. Carl sneaks up behind Melvin and wiggles his fingers. He grabs the edge of Melvin's underwear (which are labeled 'Melvin' and pulls them up over Melvin's head and balloon, sticking the balloon to his head. Aki summersaults across the floor as Gretchen runs over the empty desks. A paper airplane soars by Dib and Spoo gets thrown against Rob's desk. Brian sits at his desk with balls of crumpled paper. He flicks them off of his desk and then cheers. A book gets thrown against the wall. Zita flies down into her desk then sticks her tongue out. A tomato hits the wall. Several balls of crumpled paper hit Dib. The children are now back at their desks.

Ms. Bitters: Go ahead! Pass out your Valentine's meat slabs! It's traditional...

The Letter M opens the lid to a box of meat resting on the floor between his desk and Tae's. Tae starts to pull out slabs of meat. The children open their desks and pull out meat. A slab of meat slides down the screen. The children get out of their desks to pass out meat (except for Zim and Dib). Gretchen walks over to Dib's desk with an arm full of meat slabs.

Zim: I left my meat at home.

Aki walks overt to Zim with a tray full of heart shaped meat. She places the tray on his desk.

Zim: Sorry, I... I sorta forgot it. GET THAT OUTTA MY FACE!

Zim hits Aki's meat tray, making the meat get all over her. Zim cowers and flicks away one piece of meat that landed on his desk. The two squirrels run by on the window ledge. Gretchen places one of her meat slabs on Dib's desk. She starts piling up the rest of the meat on Dib's desk. Dib raises his hand.

Dib: Ms. Bitters! I read that long ago people used to give out cards and candy on Valentine's Day. How did the whole meat thing get started?

Ms. Bitters: You don't wanna know.

Gretchen continues piling meat on Dib's desk.

Ms. Bitters: I had a Valentine once.

An alarm goes off and a red light coming out of the ceiling flashes. Ms. Bitters talks on a new rotary phone.

Ms. Bitters: Ehh, another one?

Ms. Bitters hangs up the phone and it burns as well, and two souls escapes it. The burning phone lowers into her desk. No one is in their desk except for Zim, Dib, and Spoo. Everyone else is standing towards the back of the classroom. Alex chews on meat. All the desks have meat on them.

Ms. Bitters: To celebrate overcrowding in skool, a new student will be joining the class.

A huge futuristic jet lands in front of the window. The force of the jet landing causes Spoo to shake. The jet has a picture of a hot dog on it and is labeled 'DELISHUS WEENIE' in various places. The children gather at the window. The hatch of the jet opens and Tak walks out. Her cat MiMi slithers to her side with ghost like movements. It slithers to the window ledge and walks along it. MiMi sits down and looks at Dib. MiMi then slithers away. With a flash of light, Tak appears at the entrance to the classroom.

Tak: Hi! My name's Tak! I'm new here!

Children: Hello, Tak!

The jet takes off, causing pieces of paper to fall from the ceiling in the classroom. Tak marches inside.

Tak: My dad's the head of the Deelishus Weenie corporation! That was his jet out there, so I brought Valentine's wieners for everyone, hahaha!

Tak reaches into her backpack and pulls out a weenie, and her backpack drops to the ground and starts shooting out hundreds of weenies. They crash into a huge pile in the center of the classroom, knocking all the desks over. The Letter M cheers and a weenie hits him in the eye. Keef, Alex, Penny, Sara, Aki, and Melvin dive into the pile of weenies.

Children: Yeah! Wieners!

Weenies start crawling across the floor towards Smolga. They start crawling up her.

Smolga: Wieners ROCK!

Smolga collapses. The children begin eating the wieners. Tak hops onto Ms. Bitters' desk holding a sheet of paper. She points to Zim.

Tak: 'Cept that kid.

Zim: Weenies shmeenies! Zim needs no meats!

Tak: For him, I have prepared a poem!

Tak clears her throat.

Sara: Looks like Zim has a girl friend!

Sara takes a bite out of a weenie. Tak's hands shake as she looks angrily at Sara.

Tak: It's not nice...

Tak tears the poem in half.

Tak: ...to embarrass people! You should apologize and... eat your eraser!

A light flashes in Tak's eyes.

Sara: Yes Tak! I'm sorry Zim!

Sara take a bite out of a giant eraser. Tak holds up the two halves of the poem and reads them.

Tak: For longer than I can remember, I've been looking for someone like you....

Suddenly, all the desks are back in place and the children are sitting in them. Everyone looks at Zim.

Tak: Someone with a head like yours and a torso too. Birds sing and you're gonna pay, the end!

Tak drops the pieces of paper.

Tak: Here's some meat covered in barbeque sauce!

Tak tosses the meat at Zim. Smoke rises from him and he starts to scream. Dib points and makes some kind of gawking noise. Zim falls over and Ms. Bitters stands up.

Ms. Bitters: Thanks, Tak. That was horrible. Now, you'll need a place to sit.

Ms. Bitters points her finger at the students, moving it around trying to decide on one. She points to Rob.

Ms. Bitters: You! You're being transferred to the underground classroom!

Rob's desk lowers into the ground and rises back up without him. Tak rushes over and takes his seat. Ms. Bitters points to Brian.

Ms. Bitters: And you! I'm just tired of you!

Brian's desk lowers down and rises back up without him. His screaming can be heard. Zim leans up against the doorway with the meat on him, still screaming in pain. Poonchy, Drinker of Hate walks in his his hands in the air. He walks over and takes Brian's seat. Zim runs around across the back of the classroom. Poonchy glances around.

Dib: Ms. Bitters! Are there really underground classes?

Zim (in background): Why does it hurt!?!

Ms. Bitters: Sure, whatever...

Zim lies on one of the tables at the back of the classroom screaming, writhing around in pain. He rolls off of the table and hits a bookcase, which falls over. Cut to Zim's home. Zim is in the transmission chamber of his lab. The transmission screen displays life-size marionette puppets of the Tallest being controlled by the real Tallest from behind a couch. Zim is badly burned. GIR watches something on another smaller view screen.

Zim: My Tallest, please excuse my appearance-

Voice from monitor that GIR watches: Dirt! Dirt!!

Zim: ...I mean no disrespect. A new-

GIR stands up and grabs the monitor screen.

GIR: No! You're not dirt!

Zim: Be quiet!

GIR sits back down. The monitor GIR was watching is now in static.

Zim: My Tallest, a new child attacked me with meat! My conclusion: She's in love with me!

The Tallest giggle from behind the couch. Zim paces around the platform in the Transmission Chamber.

Zim: This my prove valuable as I can us the child to learn more about human affection!

Red makes his marionette punch the head off of the Purple marionette. While Zim's back is turned, the real Purple lifts up from behind the couch looking at the decapitated puppet.

Zim: ...which from what I have been able to determine is pain based.

Red pushes down on Purple's head so it rests over the decapitated Purple puppet. Purple groans. Red grabs the strings that control the Purple puppet.

Purple: Um, that's great Zim. Sounds great.

Red makes the Purple marionette's arms flail. Red laughs.

Purple: Don't worry, that's just my arms flailing and giggling.

Red makes the Purple marionette punch Purple in the face.

Purple: Stop it!

Red makes the Purple marionette punch Purple in the face again.

Purple: Stop it!

Zim: And once I am done with the child, I will destroy her! And that sure would be neat!

Purple: Okay Zim...

Red makes the Purple marionette punch Purple in the face.

Purple: Well...

Red makes the Purple marionette punch Purple in the face.

Purple: We have another call.

GIR waves to them. The transmission goes into static. Cut to the Massive deck. Red and Purple stand up, laughing. Red pats Purple on the shoulder. The Purple marionette falls off of the couch. The beeping of another transmission coming through is heard.

Red: Hey! We really do have another call...

The view screen on the Massive displays Tak (without her skool girl disguise). Cut to the skool playground the next day. Dib and Tak can be seen sitting on a ledge. Dib takes a bite out of a Valentine's Day meat slab and offers some to Tak. She declines. Gretchen watches through a reflection in a puddle and into a hanker chief.

Dib: No, it's just I'm not used to people being interested in my paranormal studies. As for Zim, well-

Zim runs up and shoves Dib off of the ledge and into the bushes. Dib groans.

Zim: I have come to accept your feelings for me, I congratulate you for acknowledging my superiority in choosing me as your love pig. Feel honored!

Awkward silence ensues. Crickets chirp. An eagle screeches and a cat meows. Tak pulls out Poop BBQ sauce. She squirts Zim with it. Zim falls to the ground, screaming. Smoke rises from his body.

Tak: Maybe you really are an alien like Dib says. A horribly disguised, disgusting, horrible one.

Zim: Nonsense! Despite his huge head, the Dib monkey is quite stupid.

Dib: My head's not big!

Zim: Now prepare your brain filthy beast of meat and hair.

Zim Lifts up Tak from the ledge.

Zim: Your magical love adventure begins now!

Zim sets Tak down. Tak points at Zim and laughs. Zim examines himself.

Zim: Hmm? Hmmm?

Tak laughs some more. Zim starts laughing too. Tak points at Zim with both of her hands. Zim and Tak continue laughing. Tak grabs a nearby trashcan and shoves it over Zim, then kicks him away. Tak and Dib laugh. A montage of Zim trying to get Tak's attention begins. Tak sits at a table in the cafeteria. Zim slides up next to her holding a muffin. Tak squirts Zim with juice and he falls down, smoke rising from him. Cut to Tak opening her locker. She finds a slab of meat with a bow on it and a note attached that says 'To: Tak from Zim.' Zim peaks over from behind the lockers then hides behind the lockers and grins. Tak grabs Zim. Cut to Tak throwing Zim out of the front door of the skool with the meat strapped to his head with the bow. He screams and runs, smoke rising from his head. Cut to Tak sitting in class. A present appears at her side being held up by a mechanical claw coming out of a device Zim is holding. Tak glances over at Zim. Cut to the class walking out of the classroom. Zim stumbles out of the class with the present shoved over his head and the claw wrapped around his body. Cut to Tak walking home from skool. Zim stands behind a wall in an intersection up head with some flowers in his hands. He runs around the intersection to meet up with Tak, but instead finds an attack dog. Zim drops the flowers and runs and Tak watches from on top of the wall. Cut to a shot of Zim shoved in a mail box as Tak walks by. Cut to the skool hallways. Tak walks down the hall with Zim following her. Zim holds a gigantic stack of books. Zim looses balance and falls, dropping the books. One flies up in the air and crashes down on Zim's head. Cut to Zim sitting in the cafeteria, looking beat up. Tak dumps a tray of cafeteria food on his head and his head starts smoking. Cut to Zim opening the front door of his house and walking inside. Smoke rises from him and he holding a note. GIR (out of disguise) stands on his head. The acne blast commercial plays on the TV. We see Zim from GIR's perspective (upside down).

GIR: Your on fire!

Zim: Am I? Ah well. GIR, I feel I now know enough about human affection.

Zim shuts the door.

Zim: I hate it! Especially the part with the beans! Our friend Tak is no longer useful to me.

The doorbell rings. Zim spins around and the camera angle goes right side up again. A panel appears on the door. Zim places his hand on the panel and the door becomes invisible to him (but not to whoever is on the other side of the door). Tak stands on the other side of the door tapping her foot impatiently. Zim glances at GIR. GIR back flips into his dog suit and zips it up.

Acne blast commercial kid: Now my life is a hideous montage of humiliation and shame!

Zim opens the door. MiMi whooshes inside, moving around the house in a blur of motion. MiMi stops next to GIR and squints her eyes. MiMi then moves to Tak's side. Tak's eyes flash.

Zim: Oooo....kaaay... Tak, I'm glad you stopped by, it gives me a chance to end our hideous relationship...

Zim holds out the note, revealing that it says 'Kick me! Love Tak!' Zim rips up the note.

Zim: ...and enjoy your shrill cry in having been rejected by Zim!

Zim throws the ripped up pieces of the note into the air.

Tak: You have got... to be kidding.

Zim: I assure you, I am very serious. Now cry! Cry like you've never cried... before.

Tak starts laughing evilly and insanely. The sound of an electronic hum begins. Tak and MiMi become static-y and their disguises disappear, revealing that Tak is an Irken and MiMi is a modified SIR unit.

Zim: De... Whu... You! You're Irken! What is this!?!

Tak: You're a bigger fool than I ever imagined.

Zim: Huh?

Tak: You're a bigger fool than I ever imagined.

Zim: Eh?

Tak: You're confused. Allow me to explain.

Flashback to Devastis.

Tak (voice over): It was 50 years ago on the Irken military training planet Devastis.

Irkens wait in long lines to get inside a structure on Devastis.

Tak (voice over): I'd been waiting years to take my final test to become one of the Irken elite soldiers and should the need arrive, one of the invaders.

There is a long tube-like structure where the Irkens take the test. A hover screen with the words 'test... then poop!' on it hovers by and an Irken exits one of the many doors of the testing structure excitedly. Inside one of the segments of the testing structure, a tube places Tak inside. Tak adjusts one of her boots. Outside, Zim runs up to a snack machine on the wall of the testing structure. A tube-like device slithers out of Zim's utility pack and slides into a receptor on the snack machine. A small mechanical claw grips the snack and lifts it up, but then stops moving. The tube-like device retracts back into Zim's backpack. Zim grunts and kicks the snack machine. Nothing. Zim grunts and pounds on the machine. Still nothing. Zim groans. His mechanical spider legs extend and go into laser cutting tool formation, spewing out beams at the snack machine as Zim yells. Still nothing. Zim runs away and comes back in a huge Maim Bot, laughing. Zim lifts up the gun hand of the Maim Bot and blasts the machine, causing a huge explosion. Many Irkens turn to look at the explosion from far away. From a view in space, the lights on half of Devastis go out. The whole area is wrecked. Tak runs to the door of the testing room and pulls on it, but it doesn't budge.

Tak: No! Nooo!! Somebody help me! The door's stuck! I'll miss my test!

Zim stands nearby holding his snack food. He takes a bite of it.

Zim: Mmmmm, mmmmmm! Snack!

Tak: Help! Help!

Zim walks away. Tak pounds on the door.

Tak (voice over): You blew the power block for the entire half of the planet, but the testing went on uninterrupted on the other side!

Cut to the other side of the planet, where everything is fine. An Irken ship flies by. Cut to Tak standing and pleading before an Irken Control Brain.

Tak (voice over): I pleaded with the control brain to let me take the test. But she said I'd have to wait another 70 years!

Cut to Tak with a mop and bucket on planet Dirt. The wreckage of a Spittle Runner can be seen in the background.

Tak (voice over): I was placed on a janitorial squad. And then sent to planet Dirt! I escaped and I began my long search for the mysterious person who caused the blackout and ruined my life!

The flashback ends.

Tak: I eventually tracked you to this horrible place and took that rich weenie human as my false father!

Zim: Yes, yes, so you blame me for your horrible life, blah, blah, big deal!

Tak: This is about taking your mission Zim, not revenge!

Zim: You're after revenge!?!

Tak: No! It's not about revenge! It's about taking what is rightfully mine!

Tak shoves Zim and walks towards him.

Tak: I should've been an Invader!

Tak shoves Zim and walks towards him.

Tak: I should've been part of the Great Assigning! I shouldn't have to be stealing this planet from you!

Zim lifts up a robot bee.

Zim: You're after my robot bee!!!

Tak: NO! Listen to me! Listen... carefully!

Zim rubs chin.

Zim: Mmm mmm mmmm... Hmmmm...

Tak: I'm a better invader than you'll ever be! I blend in perfectly! The plan I have in store for this nasty rock will so impress the Tallest that they'll have no choice but to make me an invader!

Zim: What is this!?! And what is this plan?

Tak laughs.

Zim: Yes, yes, I'm a master of comedy, now tell me this plan!

Tak: Part one involves crippling your base so you can only watch!

Tak shoves Zim to the floor.

Tak: As I ruin your life!

MiMi leaps forward. MiMi's head opens and robotic insects fly out and attach to the wiring of Zim's ceiling. Electricity pours out and a wave of energy flows through the base.

Zim: My beautiful base!

Tak: Part 2 is-

Zim: No! My beautiful base! No!

Tak: Part 2 is-

Zim: No! My beautiful base, no!

Tak: Part 2 is-

Zim: No!!!

Tak: Part-

Zim: No!

Tak: Okay, I'm-

Zim: No!

Tak: Okay, I'm leaving now.

Zim: But you didn't tell me your plan.

Tak shakes her head. Robotic spider legs extend from her Irken Utility pack. They go into laser cutting tool formation, only pointing backwards. GIR (who is no longer in disguise) hops away as the lasers fire and blast a large hole in Zim's house. The spider legs retract into Tak's backpack. Tak leaps backwards and becomes invisible. GIR walks back up. MiMi hops backwards into Zim's yard and spins around violently and making a blade-like motion. The heads of the lawn gnomes fall off. MiMi hops away. GIR's head falls off. Zim's robot bee flies out through the hole in his house.

Zim: Noooooo!!!

[commercial break]

Cut to Zim in the fist of an evil demon made of ham out in the middle of the city streets. Zim is in his disguise. Zim grunts as the Ham Demon slams its fist to the ground. Zim reaches for a pendant with the word 'Ham!!' written on it sticking out of the Ham Demon. Zim grabs it and pulls it out of the Ham Demon, then hits the Ham Demon with it. The Ham Demon drops Zim and growls and coughs up GIR (in his dog disguise). GIR lies on the ground on his head. The Ham Demon falls backwards and explodes. GIR makes a triumphant noise.

Zim: What a horrible adventure with that Ham Demon! Woo! But, I've made no progress in figuring out what Tak's plan is. The base is still repairing itself, and the only other person with the facilities to.. errrr, No! I won't even consider it!

Cut to Dib's house. Dib walks into the kitchen yawning. Prof. Membrane and Zim sit at the table, both holding steaming drinks. Dib freezes and points to Zim.

Prof. Membrane: But that's just the way it worked out.

Zim: Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

Zim tips his cup to his lips as if he were sipping it but doesn't actually drink any of it.

Dib: Zim!

Prof. Membrane: Good morning, son! Your little foreign friend is here to see you!

Dib: Dad, that's the alien!

Prof. Membrane stands up. Dib hops onto a chair.

Dib: The alien!

Prof. Membrane: Of course he is! You two have fun.

Prof. Membrane exits the kitchen. Dib stands on the table.

Dib: What's going on, Zim!?!

Zim: It seems the enemies have a common enemy: Tak! She's Irken and she's after my job and your planet!

Dib: Oh come on! I like Tak! And she hates you! You're just jealous of-

Zim hops onto the table.

Zim: This has nothing to do with jelly! I've been trying to figure out her plan but it's been difficult! She's good. Not good like me, but good.

Dib: This is just stupid-

Zim: 48 hours of trailing Tak and all I could come up with are these photos I wrestled off that Ham Demon!

Zim pulls out some photos.

Zim: They're of a giant evil weenie stand her father constructed. But that's nothing.

Dib takes the photos from Zim and examines them.

Dib: Hmmm... Giant weenie stand is weird, but it doesn't say anything about Tak. Giant weenie stand... That's worth a look.

Zim: I knew this was a bad idea! She'll destroy your world!

Gaz enters the kitchen drinking Poop cola.

Dib: I can't believe your even saying this!

Gaz: Your voices are making me sick!

Gaz shakes up the soda.

Zim: And when your world is a smoking ruin you'll wish it had been me who did it!

Gaz sprays Zim with the soda. Zim screams and smoke rises from his body. He rolls off of the table.

Zim: It burns! It burns!

Zim gets up and runs, screaming. He jumps out of the window.

Dib: Thanks Gaz! He was really-

Gaz sprays Dib with a blast of soda. He screams. Cut to the giant Deelishus Weenie stand. Gaz walks up to the service window. It is only a small part of the gigantic stand. The stand itself is shaped like a figure with a smiley face-like head and weenies for arms.

Deelishus Weenie employee: Deelishus Weenie!

Gaz: Hi.

Deelishus Weenie employee: Uhhh, what'll it be?

Gaz: Be quiet. I wanted to let you know that my brother is trying to break into this building through some secret entrance.

The employee begins sweating. A bird screeches.

Deelishus Weenie employee: Uhh, we have chili beans!

Dib scales the back of the Deelishus Weenie stand while eating a hot dog. He uses a device that attaches pegs to the wall. A wire goes through those pegs and is tied around Dib. As he climbs up higher, he attaches more pegs.

Gaz: I just thought it'd be kinda funny to see him get beaten up by security.

Deelishus Weenie Employee: Umm, I... Ya know, I don't think there is a secret entrance. I work here and this is all I've seen.

Gaz: This place is kinda big for a hot dog stand, dontcha think?

The Deelishus Weenie stand peaks his head out of the window and looks up.

Deelishus Weenie Employee: Huh... Oh!

Dib continues scaling the wall. The Deelishus Weenie employee pulls on his goatee.

Deelishus Weenie Employee: Uh, now that I think of it...

Flashback to the Deelishus Weenie Employee standing behind the Deelishus Weenie stand. Several Irken ships carry in large devices through a large opening that seals shut behind them. The flashback ends.

Deelishus Weenie Employee: There is that secret entrance around back where they deliver all that alien looking machinery! Mmmm....

As Dib climbs higher, he gets to a place where a pigeon is nesting. He places the peg-placing device on the wall and the wall starts to open. The pigeon and its nest fall but Dib clings to the edge of the wide opening. His device and the wire fall, along with his hotdog. Dib slides down and hits a box, grunting. He gets up and looks around. There is a massive area where hovering devices carry around parts.

Dib: Oh! Ow, ew man! What is this place!?!

Gaz appears on the catwalk next to him, eating a hotdog.

Gaz: It's a hotdog stand.

Dib: Gaz!?! How did you get-

Dib pulls out a video camera and starts recording one of the hover bots picking up a box. Tak (in human disguise) approaches on a hover platform.

Tak: No pictures please!

Tak's platform lands next to the catwalk.

Dib: Tak? What!?! Um, look-

Dib hides the camera behind his back.

Dib: I can explain!

Tak: No need!

Tak slides under the railing and onto the platform.

Tak: In a second you won't even remember having seen any of this!

Tak's eyes flash. Nothing happens to Dib. Gaz finishes off her hotdog.

Tak: Hmmm. You must be smarter than the rest of them! Let's see about your sister!

Tak's eyes flash. Gaz shakes up her soda and shoots a blast at Tak. Tak screams and smoke rises from her.

Dib: You're behind this?!

Tak: No, he is.

Tak points to a containment jar containing the President of the Deelishus Weenie corporation. Hotdogs float around in the jar too.

Tak: Or at least his resources. I only let him out when I need to keep up appearances, kind of like Zim's robot parents. Only good.

Dib: You can't do this! People will know something's up! I mean look at this place, it's enormous!

Tak: The great thing about your people, Dib, is that most of them don't notice. All the see is another faceless corporate venture, not a plan for world conquest.

Dib: Wait, is there really a difference?

A hole is blasted through the wall. Tak falls to the ground. Zim stands in the hole, his Voot Cruiser hovering behind him.

Zim: It's over, Tak!

Zim hops down.

Zim: The Earth is mine to devastate! And I already promised the moon to GIR.

Dib: Zim! How did you know we'd be here?

Zim: I placed a tracking device on you!

Dib: Tracking device? Where!?! Huh!?! Huh!?!

Dib turns around. GIR (out of disguise) clings to it.

GIR: Your head smells like a puppy!

GIR hops off of Dib's head. He goes into serious mode and salutes Zim, then returns to normal.

Tak: This won't keep me from keeping my promise to the Tallest! MiMi! Attack!

MiMi (in cat disguise) slides out of a tube and lands in the center of the group, knocking GIR away with her landing. MiMi spins around and when MiMi stops spinning she is out of disguise and has her claw hand on Dib, lifting him off of the ground. MiMi throws Dib into a disposal vent. Dib screams as he is thrown and grunts as he lands into the disposal unit. Dib screams as he falls down the vent all the way down the weenie stand. Zim snickers. MiMi turns to Zim. MiMi charges Zim, pounding her fist into the ground as she runs. Zim runs backwards.

Zim: Aiii! The MiMi! Uh, Tak! Cool it!

Zim leaps into the Voot Cruiser, narrowly missing MiMi's swinging fist. MiMi grabs GIR and tosses him into the Voot Cruiser with so much force that the Voot Cruiser hits the wall and falls downward. Taks' ship rises. Tak runs to her ship, her disguise fading away as she runs. She does a spinning leap into the ship, a modified version of the Spittle Runner wreck seen on Planet Dirt. The windshield closes and she flies out through a ship exit area. MiMi jumps next to Gaz. Gaz shakes up her soda and sprays MiMi. MiMi hits the wall and her SIR chip flies out. MiMi spins and when she is done spinning, she is in her cat disguise. MiMi runs back into the hole she came from. The SIR chip slides up to Gaz's feet. The chip beeps. Dib screams as he falls out of the vent and into a dumpster out back with a grunt. Dib bounces out of the dumpster on impact. the Voot Cruiser crashes to the ground and GIR falls out. GIR rubs his eyes.

Dib: Uh, you ruined everything, Zim! I was about to find out what her plan was!

Zim: Me?! You're the one who refused to-

Gaz is suddenly standing next to Zim, holding the chip.

Gaz: Hey, what's this thing?

Zim: That's a SIR unit's memory disk! It probably has Tak's plan all over it!

Zim is about to grab the disk when Dib jumps in front of him.

Dib: No way! It's ours!

Dib pushes Zim back.

Dib: Back off!

Zim: I'm the only one here with the technology to decode the files!

Dib: And we're the only ones here with the files to be decoded.

GIR: And I'm...

GIR laughs.

GIR: I dunno!

Dib: Your base, our disk, Zim. Let us see the base.

Zim: As soon as we destroy Tak I'm gonna feed your brains to my robot!

Zim and Dib place forheads together.

Dib: Deal.

GIR: Yay! Brains!

Cut to Dib, Gaz, Zim and GIR in the elevator lowering down to the transmissions room. The two-eyed Irken symbol is displayed on the transmissions screen.

Gaz: Huh... This is you base!?!

Zim: Don't touch anything... or I'll melt your face off or something.

They walk along a walkway to the control platform. Once on the control platform, the walkway detracts. Zim places the SIR disk in a slot on the control panel and places two prods on it. Nothing happens. Zim hits the disk and its starts playing on the screen. It shows Tak (out of disguise).

Tak: My leaders, I offer you a gift to prove me worthiness as an Invader.

The recording no longer shows Tak but shows an image of the Earth complete with rotating moon. It shows the interior molten center of the Earth and a pipe pumping out the molten rock.

Tak (voice only): I have created a magma pump to hollow out the Earth's molten core.

Zim: I could do that!

Tak (voice only): Once empty I'll fill the planet with snacks as an offering to my Tallest.

An image of a snack appears in the empty center of the Earth.

Dib: Your leaders are just taller than everyone else?

Tak appears on the recording again.

Tak (voice only): You never even considered Earth valuable at all, but I shall make it valuable!

Zim: She stole this plan from me!

GIR: No she didn't!

Zim: Be quiet!

The ground starts shaking. It stops.

Dib: It's starting!

Zim: Computer!

Computer: Whaaat?

Zim: Ready the Voot! I must stop Tak! Her little joke has gone far enough!

The walkway extends and Zim starts walking away.

Dib: Wait! You have to drop me off at the weenie stand! Someone has to shut the pump off!

Dib follows Zim.

Gaz: Are there any video games around here?

Computer: No... not really.

Gaz kicks up her leg.

Gaz: I guess I'll help save the Earth then!

Cut to a line of people in front of the Deelishus Weenie. Some kids at the front of the line get their hotdogs and run away happily, making sheep noises. A man steps up in line. The ground starts shaking and he falls foreword, getting two hotdogs shoved in his mouth. All the customers in line fall over too. The entire stand starts shaking. The smiley face head of the stand lowers into the stand and the arms point downward and open up. On the streets, a woman screams and dives out of the way of a swerving car. Inside the stand, catwalks begin collapsing and two large openings that lead into the inside of the arms seal off. Outside, the arms detach from the body and point completely downward, attached to the body of the stand by metal supports. Tubes shoot out of the arms and into the ground. Customers watch the transformation while eating their hotdogs. A kiddy pool is set up among the customers where John Fountain and Poonchy, drinker of hate, swim. Where the head of the stand was, a huge tube rises up. Smaller tubes rise from the arms that connect to this tube.

Deelishus Weenie Employee (offscreen): Deelishus Weenie!!

Debris falls on the employee inside the stand as the covering of the stand opens, revealing an altered Irken symbol on the stand. On the inside of the stand, a disk starts spinning. Lava flows up the tubes. The main tube opens and lava shoots into the air with such a force that it shoots into space. The Voot Cruiser flies up the weenie stand with Zim and Dib inside. The floor under Dib opens and Dib falls out of the Voot Cruiser.

Zim: There!

Tak stands at the edge of the main tube, cackling evilly. She sees Zim approaching and hops over the edge into her ship and flies upwards along the lava trail. Zim peruses her. The lava begins to cool down and solidify in space and the Earth begins to collapse as its center is drained. Zim chases Tak through the lava chunks, firing lasers at her ship. Dib climbs a ladder inside the arms of the stand.

Dib: Ah! How do you shut this thing off!?!

Cut to the transmissions room of Zim's lab. A cable is hooked up to GIR's head that is attached to the control panel.

Gaz: So this should work?

Computer: If Tak's SIR unit is within range of its memory disk, it can be controlled through a remote host.

Gaz: We can remote control it. You!

Gaz points to GIR.

Gaz: Do things! Make Tak's robot crazy.

Gaz makes the hand motion for crazy.

GIR: Only if you dance with me!

Gaz: No! Never! Never!

GIR stares.

Gaz: Oh, come on!

GIR stares. Gaz angrily begins doing a little jig, her feet squeaking with every step. Out in space, Zim trails Tak through the lava. Zim and Tak fly their ships through a wall of lava. The Voot Cruiser and Tak's ship ram into each other. The fly around opposite sides of a pillar of lava and end up facing towards each other.

Tak: Give up, Zim! I built this ship myself!

Zim and Tak charge each other. When the ships are close to colliding, a chunk of lava flies downward and smashes the Voot Runner's windshield. Tak swerves out of the way at the last second. Zim grunts as the Voot Runner spins around. Zim grunts as he kicks the windshield off of the Voot Cruiser. It floats out into space and a new windshield emerges from the Voot Cruiser. Zim turns back and continues the pursuit. Inside Tak's ship, MiMi's body gets controlled by GIR. MiMi's eyes turn blue. GIR's voice comes out of MiMi and MiMi starts kicking herself in the head.

GIR's voice: Doo dee doo dee doo dee doooo dee doo dee... (continuously)

GIR continues with that chant. MiMi starts bouncing on her head. Cut to Zim's lab where GIR bouces on his head as Gaz dances. Cut to the city where the ground splits. Cut to space where the Earth continues to collapse on itself as more lava shoots out. GIR's 'doo dee' chanting finally ends. Cut to inside Tak's ship. MiMi uses her claw hand to pound in a control panel. Tak's ship swerves out of control and electricity flows through it. Tak groans. MiMi curls up in some wires and then flings herself at Tak. Tak grunts.

Tak: What are you doing!?!

MiMi dances on the dashboard. MiMi then sits down on the dashboard.

Tak: MiMi!

MiMi grabs Tak's cheeks. Tak grunts.

Tak: That, doh, stop!

Cut to Zim's lab. GIR is grabbing Gaz's cheeks. Gaz growls. She breaks free from GIR and screams. Cut to space. Tak's ship spins uncontrollably, hitting chunks of lava.

Tak: No! Stop! MiMi! You're ruining-!

Tak screams. Zim watches from the Voot Cruiser.

Zim: You're a worse pilot than I am! Wait...

Tak screams and groans. Zim smashes the Voot Cruiser into Tak's ship. It flies backwards into a large lava chunk and rolls along the surface.

Tak: No! No! Somebody help me!

An escape pod pops out of the ship, leaving the empty ship out in space. Tak screams. Cut to the inside of the Deelishus Weenie stand. Dib runs back and forth behind two generators babbling and yelling. Dib leaps by.

Dib: Weee!

Dib runs by licking an ice cream cone, babbling and yelling again. Dib runs by again without the ice cream cone, then stops in-between the two generators.

Dib: Huh?

He walks forward and presses a button and the generators shut off. A huge screen over the button says 'ON/OFF.'

Dib: How did I miss that!?!

Outside, lava stops shooting out of the tube. The lava starts to fall backwards back through the tube. As the crowd of people watch while eating hotdogs, all their hotdogs fly out of the buns and get sucked into the tube along with all the lava. A pigeon gets sucked in too, as well as a satellite. A man holds onto the ground to avoid getting ducked in. Out in space, all the chunks flow back in. Earth fills back up and regains its shape.

Zim: No one takes Zim's mission! No one!

Tak's escape pod latches onto the Voot Cruiser. Parts of MiMi float in the pod behind Tak.

Tak: I don't know how you did it Zim. You're not even an invader, you know! The Tallest lied to you!

Zim starts sipping a can of Poop Cola through a straw.

Tak: Your mission is all a big lie! I'll come back and uh-

Zim presses a button and Tak's pod is launched off of the Voot Cruiser. Tak screams. Zim laughs gruntishly.

Zim: Okay.

Zim starts sipping the Poop Cola again. He tilts the can back, revealing the Irken Symbol on the bottom of the can. Cut to the Massive among the Irken Armada. On board the Massive, The Tallest watch a transmission from Zim. Zim is in the transmissions room of his lab.

Zim: Tak's plan was ruined! The human helped out but, eh-

GIR pops up wearing a cat suit. He pops back down a second later and continues popping up here and there.

Zim: -they were hypnotized by me! Into doing so! You should've heard the lies she told about you! Well, all that matters is that Tak's evil snack plan was stopped.

Purple: Hey! I like snacks!

Red: He likes snacks, Zim!

Zim: I know you do. I know.

GIR pops onto the screen.

GIR: Meooow!

The transmission goes into static. Cut to Dib on the roof of his house with his laptop and headphones, starring into space. Dib takes off his headphones.

Dib: Look at it, Gaz! We've only seen what's come to us from up there. Don't you wanna just fly out there and see it all?

Gaz sits in a lawn chair down bellow playing her GS2 and holding a half eaten hotdog.

Gaz: Eh...

Gaz gets up and enters the house. Dib sees a bright light in the sky. Dib smiles. Dib recoils and moans as something plummets down from space coming towards him. Dib groans as something smashes into his front yard, the force pushing him back. There is something flaming in the yard. Dib walks to the edge and takes a look. As the flames die down, Dib sees the empty shell of Tak's ship lying in his yard. Dib grins.