How Pacific Rim Should Have Ended


 * Man: We always thought alien life would come from space. We were wrong. It came from the ocean, which is technically in space if you think about everythings in space really. But that's not the important issue! Anyway, Giant monsters came from the ocean, and started destroying everything in their path. And after the UN apparently watched a ton of anime . They decided the only way to fight monsters, was to build monsters of our own.
 * Man: I say we nuke the Kaiju as soon as one as detected!
 * Man 2: I saw we build giant robots as big as Kaiju! So we can watch them fight!
 * All: YEAH! Fantastic Idea! Please make this happen!
 * Man 3: Pshh. Nukes.
 * Man: So we built the robots, named them Jaggers. And now we're all kinds of famous and the earths last hope...


 * Man: We're running out of oxygen! We're gonna die! We've got nothing left!
 * Woman: There is still one left! For my family!
 * Man: Wow! This sword was really effective! Why didn't we open with that?
 * Woman: Because it's too messy?
 * Man: I guess... Still, this gives me an idea. Okay Gypsy, we got movement. Two Kaiju coming your way.
 * Kaiju: (Roars)
 * Man: Analog Chop! That's one!
 * Kaiju: (Roars)
 * Man: Analog CHOP!!
 * Woman: And that's two!
 * Man: Wow! This is so much easier!
 * Red Power Ranger: Make way for the cleanup crew! Okay gang, it's clean up time!
 * All: RIGHT!!
 * Dude: Heads up third signature emerging from the breach! It's a... It's a Cat 5!
 * Man: Whew! Thanks, Voltron!
 * Soldier: No problem! Great job, team!
 * All: YEAH!
 * Man: Yeah. I'd say fighting them here is much better than waiting for them to come to us.
 * Woman: It doesn't look as cool through.
 * Man: Meh.


 * Guy: Hello, boys! I'm BAAAAAaaaaaaack!
 * Hellboy: Where's my gosh dern subscribe button?! Oh. It's right there. Thanks for watching!