Johnny vs Dukey

This is a transcript of the Johnny Test episode, Johnny vs. Dukey.


 * [At Porkbelly Junior High School, Johnny is being resisted by Bumper and tries to break free.]
 * Bumper: You say uncle, Test!
 * Johnny: [Strains] No.
 * Bumper: Say it, say un... cle.
 * Johnny: Never.
 * Bumper: Your uncle and I'll give you your ice pack!
 * Johnny: [Fiercely] I never say uncle! Never!
 * Bumper: Well, uh... [Lets go of Johnny and pushes him. Johnny feels his arm.] Okay. Then I guess I get uppity empty and say [Punches him again] uncle!


 * [In the next scene, Johnny eats a sandwich, but is suddenly hit by a water balloon, making him wet.]
 * Bumper: You didn't say uncle now, Test? [Pokes him and snickers]
 * Johnny: What's the word I'm looking for? It's um... Oh yeah. DINNER!
 * [Another water balloon hits him.]


 * [On the school bus, he is hit by three more water balloons. He confronts Bumper with a stern look on his face.]
 * Johnny: Never!


 * [Just when the school bus arrives at his house, Johnny runs towards the front door, dodging the water balloons the Bumper throws.]
 * Johnny: Ha! You missed! Huh?
 * [A cat with a bucket of water balloons appear on the roof above his front door. It tips the bucket and drops the balloons onto him. He moves inside the house, looks back and opens the front door.]
 * Johnny: [Yells] Never!
 * [He is hit by another water balloon before closing the front door behind him. Dukey arrives at the scene.]
 * Dukey: Bumper wants you to say uncle?
 * Johnny: Yep.
 * Dukey: Cat involved?
 * Johnny: Oh... big time.
 * Dukey: Okay, let's go.


 * Bumper: Here is your Test! Huh?
 * Johnny: No!
 * [Dukey is seen lying in his back with his head turned towards Bumper. His legs are attached by a catapult of water balloons, which Johnny pulls back.]
 * Johnny: You say uncle!
 * [Johnny releases the catapult. The water balloons hit Bumper and his cat so hard that they drown inside a swimming pool. The balloons hit them again and they fly out of the water and land on a sidewalk. They are constantly pelted by water balloons from Johnny and Dukey.]
 * Bumper: Uncle! Uncle! Just please stop! I said uncle! Uncle...
 * Johnny and Dukey: [While giving a high five] Yeah!
 * [They dance on the sidewalk.]
 * Dukey: Oh yeah! Say uncle!
 * Johnny: Woohoo! We can't be beaten in the classic game of "Say Uncle"!
 * Johnny and Dukey: [While giving a high five] Yeah!
 * [They move back inside home.]
 * Dukey: What kind of game is say uncle anyway?

Who started it? Is it a game or simply a playground version of torture?
 * Johnny: [Relaxed] Who cares? The most important thing is that we rule at "Say Uncle", and I must admit I would not want to go up against you my friend. :Dukey: The same hair. But it would be a very excellent battle.
 * Johnny: Haha! "Say Uncle" battle for the ages!
 * Dukey: Which would come down to one final explosive round where in the last second I would win.
 * [Johnny stops and looks at Dukey with a shocked look on his face.]
 * Johnny: Say what?
 * Dukey: Well face facts, Johnny. With my superior intellect and dark muscle tone I would win.
 * Johnny: [Scoffs] Oh really? I'd like to see you try.
 * Dukey: Then I guess it's on.
 * Johnny: Oh it's barren.


 * [The title "ROUND 1" appears on the screen. Johnny - wearing a green shirt and colander with leaves on top - looks through his binoculars and find a big brown body. He looks up and notices it's Dukey, who brings out a big water balloon from behind his back. Johnny gasps. The balloon drops on him, destroying his disguise and making his hair wet again.]
 * Dukey: Say uncle!
 * [Johnny furiously brings out a heap of water balloons.]
 * Johnny: You say it!
 * [Dukey runs away as Johnny throws water balloons at him. He finds another set of water balloons inside a container and throws them at Johnny. Soon the water splashes the screen, eventually revealing that they are wet and exhausted.]
 * Johnny: [Strains] I'm sick... of... water balloons.
 * Dukey: Yeah, same here.
 * Johnny: [Strains] Need new "Say Uncle" challenge.


 * [The title "ROUND 2" appears on the screen. Johnny and Dukey are sat on a table presented with a bowl of worms each. There is also a salt and pepper cellar.]
 * Johnny: [Shocked] Eating worms?
 * Dukey: If you can't eat them then ya gotta say it: Uncle!
 * Johnny: [Fiercely] Pass... the... salt.
 * [Johnny snatches the salt cellar and shakes it onto the worms. He stuff a handful in his mouth along with Dukey. Their heads turn green.]
 * Dukey: Aah. I've just getting fat!
 * Johnny: [Sick] Me too!
 * [They both faint. The title "ROUND 3" appears on the screen.]
 * Bling-Bling: It's such a pleasant surprise that you want to hear this song I wrote for my lover Susan. Yo I think--
 * Johnny: [Angrily interrupting] Yeah yeah. Just starts singing so he'll cave first and say uncle!
 * Dukey: You will be saying uncle. Sing it baby!
 * [Johnny and Dukey cannot tolerate Bling-Bling's bad singing and loud music as they cover their ears.]
 * Bling-Bling: [Singing] Susan, why so glum? Oh no Susan... I've got to love, love, love, love, [Holds] love!
 * Johnny: Say Uncle! Say it!
 * Dukey: [Unintelligible]
 * [The title "ROUND 10" appears on the screen. Dukey walks into Johnny's bedroom. Johnny pops up from a clothes container and brings out smelly underwear.]
 * Johnny: I'll do a fight!
 * [Dukey screams. Eventually, Johnny puts the underwear on Dukey's head. He falls on his back. He angrily gets up and lifts a basket of clothes, chasing Johnny with it. He screams while they run around.]
 * Dukey: Say uncle!


 * [In the lab...]
 * Mary: Behold, never scent under pants!
 * Susan: No longer will we smell Johnny's hamper on laundry day, and--
 * [Before Susan can finish, underpants are thrown into their faces, making them scream. The camera cuts to the heroic duo grappling each other with underwear.]
 * Dukey: Say it! Just say uncle!
 * Susan: Security!
 * [A set of security robots arrive and separate Johnny and Dukey from the fight by pulling them away and holding them next to the sisters.]
 * Susan: What's going on, boy? Prosper.
 * Johnny: [Panicking] Dukey... Me... Gameplay... Say Uncle! [Shrieks at Dukey and flails his arms] Say it! Say uncle!
 * Dukey: [Pokes Johnny] You say uncle. You say it. You!
 * [They poke each other and pull each other's hair.]
 * Mary: Silence mode!
 * [The robots hold the duo's mouths with their claws, making them silent. They continue to try and poke and pull their hair, but eventually they stop. The claws are released.]
 * Mary: First off, it's not uncle.
 * Susan: It comes from old Irish etymology, and a core meaning mercy, and the game was started by Irish

settlers in North America who liked to beat each other up for amusement.
 * Dukey: Oho those Irish. They sure know how to have fun.
 * Johnny: Nose tag battle time!
 * [They grab each other's noses.]
 * Susan: Retreat!
 * [Suddenly, Johnny is pulled away from Dukey by the robot.]
 * Mary: Don't you see you're destroying yourselves and your friendship?
 * Susan: She's right, and the game is futile, since Dukey would totally win.
 * Mary: Say what?
 * Susan: What? We created Dukey and filled it with super smarts plus amazing ninja moves making him unbeatable.
 * Mary: How can you vote against your own flesh and blood little brother?
 * Susan: Hey. Facts are facts, just like the fact that I would put you in an underwear fight or any stupid uncle battle for that matter. Oh! Okay, you want to go?
 * Mary: Does that answer your question?
 * Susan: Team up!
 * [Susan grabs Dukey while Mary grabs Johnny.]
 * Dukey: They look mad. Don't they look mad? Hey, that's good, I think.
 * Mary: I soon will settle this the old-fashioned way.
 * Susan: Oh yeah.


 * [The four competitors are in Mech suits. They break through into the middle of the field.]
 * Johnny: [Cyborg voice, realizing] Oh! So this is the old-fashioned way.
 * Susan: Now stay over to the girl won't help you!
 * Mary: I'd rather say, angry boots activate!
 * [Mary and Johnny's mech boots generate power and stomp on the ground. Susan wobbles and Dukey falls. The latter gets back up.]
 * Susan: I say, Tornado Spin!
 * [Susan and Dukey charge at their foes, who are sent spinning across the field and fall down. They confront their downed opponents.]
 * Dukey and Susan: Say it!
 * Mary and Johnny: Never!
 * [They jump back up with their backs turned towards Dukey and Susan. A button is pressed on their arms, releasing a green web beam that sends the other team flying and covered with green goo. Dukey and Susan land on the roof of a house stuck together.]
 * Susan: Okay. I will say gross, but I will never say uncle!
 * [They both break free and light up their fists. They confront their foes with their flashing fists.]
 * Johnny: Time out! Set time!
 * Dukey and Susan: Fine!


 * [The four are sat indoors having a break. There are milk and cookies on the table.]
 * Johnny: By the way, great use of the Tornado Spinner.
 * Susan: Nice counter-attack with the web.
 * Mary: Looks like the molecular risk cannon wasn't far away.
 * Susan: Yeah, I notice that.
 * [She offers a cookie to Johnny.]
 * Johnny: No. I couldn't possibly take the last one. Give it to Dukey.
 * Dukey: Why thank you very much.
 * [They all drink the milk together. When everyone finishes they slam their glass on the table simultaneously. Johnny burps.]


 * [The title "ROUND 12" appears on the screen. Dukey and Susan set up their rockets. Camera cuts to Johnny and Mary.]
 * Johnny: Umm... Where did you get the Rockets?
 * Mary: Uh, found them.
 * [Their rockets are set up too.]
 * Johnny: [Nervous] You know, maybe those guys are right. There are no winners in this game.
 * Mary: Oh there will be. Now hang on, short!
 * [Mary sets the rocket to full blast and takes off in the air. Johnny screams. Susan does the same.]
 * Mary: Say uncle, Susan Test!
 * Dukey: Hey, I have an idea. Let's say uncle. Big deal, right? We say uncle we don't explode. That's a good plan, right?
 * Susan: Forget it, fuzz ball. Now time to see...
 * Mary: ... who really rules in this family!
 * Johnny: Don't you think we might have taken this...
 * Dukey: ...too far!
 * Susan: No!
 * Mary: First blood to first bad arsenal!
 * Dukey: But I can't hurt...
 * Johnny: ...my best friend!
 * [A double screen appears. The two rocket crafts get too close for Johnny and Dukey to handle.]
 * Johnny and Dukey: Turn!
 * [They get their hands on their partners' steering wheels and turn the crafts downwards towards their house.]
 * Mary and Susan: This is bad!
 * [The crafts crash into the house. Puffs of smoke fly out. Everyone appears dizzy and singed from the crash.]
 * Lila and Hugh: What is going on?!
 * Johnny: [Hesitating] Game, Play, Say Uncle! Girls take way too far. Blame them!
 * Susan: What? You started it!
 * Johnny: But you had to find out who rules the family and--
 * Hugh: You are all grounded for life!
 * Mary and Susan: Oh, so Dad rules the family.
 * Hugh: That's right and "Say Uncle" is just a silly game and no matter what side you're on you always lose. And besides, who cares who says uncle. Just say it and nobody gets hurt. Watch. Has your mother proved the point? Okay honey, say uncle!
 * Lila: Your father is absolutely right, kids. So, you say it, honey. Sure enough silly they've been.
 * Hugh: Yeah. You're not saying uncle is really not making my point.
 * [The competitors appear confused.]
 * Lila: I agree. So you say uncle.
 * Hugh: Never!


 * [In the next scene, furniture have been thrown back and forth across the sky. Johnny, Dukey, Mary and Susan watch their parents battle in their mech suits, with rocks occasionally landing on the ground around them.]
 * Johnny: Well, Mom and Dad are right. This game has no winners.
 * Dukey: But it sure is fun to watch.
 * [Lila and Hugh battle using their trees as combat. As soon as they tie up, the screen crops to two small circles showing their faces. It then goes completely black with the credits shown.]