Garfield of Dreams / I Hate My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

(Start at Seth MacFarlane's house with Seth MacFarlane... unprepared for all those obscure references.)

Seth MacFarlane: Ah, cartoons. They made me a billionaire, but I insist on living in an old beat-up country home in the woods...across from a baseball field.

(Garfield arrives)

Garfield: You know, comics are cartoons too, Seth.

Seth MacFarlane: Garfield?

Garfield: In the olden days, comics used to be called the "funny pages," only you read them in the newspaper, and they weren't really funny.

(A bunch of comic strip stars arrive.)

Seth MacFarlane: Wow! Look at those obscure references! I don't even know who half of you are!

Garfield: That's the point, Seth MacFarlane! You need to help Hollywood remember who we are! If you pitch them, they will come!

(Title card: Garfield of Dreams)

(Scene cuts to Seth and the comic stars in the baseball field.)

Seth MacFarlane: So why are you guys living on a baseball diamond?

Garfield: I don't know. The whole pitch analogy, baseball, showbiz, seemed like it worked.

Seth MacFarlane: And why me?

Dagwood: Because you're the only one who can get people to care about us again! People will watch anything you make! Seriously, anything.

Seth MacFarlane: I'll tell you what. We'll bring Hollywood here and show them how entertaining you all are.

(Doonesbury appears)

Doonesbury: Hooray!

Seth MacFarlane: Not you, Doonesbury! Uh, I said "entertaining."

Doonesbury: Awwww...

(Doonesbery returns to the cornfield and scene cuts to Seth and Steven)

Seth MacFarlane: Steven Spielberg, have I got a pitch for you! A cat who hates Mondays!

Steven Spielberg: Ha! That's funnier than the alien who likes peanut butter candy! Count me in.

(Scene cuts to Will Smith)

Seth MacFarlane: Will, what do you say about a bald kid who can't kick a football?

Will Smith: If he's got no hair to whip back and forth, I'll adopt him right now.

(Will throws Jaden and Willow away and scene cuts to Drew Barrymore)

Seth MacFarlane: Drew, I've got a dog named Marmaduke, and he, uh, uh... What does he do? (Opens comic book) Huh, doesn't make sense really. Pretty weird. He ate a kid in this one. Wow, ok, I got it! He thinks he's people!

Drew Barrymore: That's genius! Where can I meet him?

Seth MacFarlane: On a baseball field... don't ask... in front of my house!

(Scene cuts to a party in the baseball field)

Garfield: Seth, this party is better than lasagna. Look how excited they all are.

Hägar the Horrible: Peter Jackson! I'm a big fan.

Peter Jackson: Thanks... Hay-gaar.

Hägar the Horrible: Eh, it's Hägar the Horrible.

Peter Jackson: Well, Il ike your look, Hägar. I might be able to do something with ya.

(Scene cuts to Hägar in Lord of the Rings)

Hägar the Horrible: One viking to rule them all!

Tom Cruise: What do you do, kid?

Dennis the Menace: I'm Dennis the Menace. I menace Mr. Wilson.

Tom Cruise: Hmm.. Do I hear Menace: Impossible?

(A scene from "Menace: Impossible" plays)

Loretta Lockhorn: Get it? We're the Lockhorns. The joke is we hate each other.

Brad Pitt: Like Mr. and Mrs. Smith!

Angelina Jolie: The sequel.

(The Lockhorns fight in the trailer for "Mr. & Mrs. Smith 2", scene zooms out to reveal the theater and the comic strips at the theater gasps)

Steven Spielberg: So, what do ya think?

Loretta Lockhorn: That was horrible!

All the Hollywood stars: What?

Dick Tracy: You tried to make us hip by pandering to your audience.

B.C.: We didn't need to be reinvented, just reintroduced.

The Wizard of Id: Hollywood ruins everything. GET THEM!!

(They all go berserk on all except Peter Jackson.)

(Will Smith kicks Charlie Brown)

(Marmaduke chases Seth)

Seth MacFarlane: (wakes up) Ahhh! Aw, Phew! it was just a dream! Well, that's why I say let the past stay where it is. Always come up something original. (Laughs) A shutted up dad, a seperate family, and a talking animal... No, alien... No, animal. (Laughs) Yep, original.

(segment ends)

(Scene begins when Annie Watson and Nikki Miller are at a table.)

Nikki Miller: My child won't listen to a thing I say!

Annie Watson: Same here. Sometimes I think they're not even human. (ceiling cracks) Oh, great. What have they done now?!

(She walks into the living room only to find the mess the Turtles have done with their rooms.)

Annie Watson: (Gasps) Pizza boxes? Skateboards?! Bo staff, sais, nunchucks, katana?!?!

(Scene zooms back to reveal none other than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello and Raphael.)

Nikki Miller: Yeah, you definitely have it worse than me.

Annie Watson: (as a slice of pizza lands on her head) I hate my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

(Title card: We see the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles logo, but the words "I Hate My" with a heart in the "A" in "Hate", drop down onto the original TMNT logo, which make the title card say "I Hate My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles")

Annie Watson: So, what do you think?

Leonardo: (Puts down Turtle Beat) You look like a creepy Kardashian.

Annie Watson: I look nothing like Khloé!

Leonardo: I meant Bruce Jenner. (Flips over Turtle Beat)

Annie Watson: Well, we'll see what my date has to say. (Doorbell rings, and the door opens, catching a look at... guess who? The Shredder.)

All Turtles: SHREDDER?!?!

Donatello: (Closes door.) Mom, are you crazy? You can't date our archnemesis! All the other mutants will laugh at us!

(Spoke too soon - out the window, we see three of the X-Men - namely Cyclops, Wolverine and Storm - laugh at the current situation.)

Annie Watson: For your information, Shredder is a wonderful man. He's traveled all over the world...

Raphael: Trying to kill us!

Annie Watson: He has his own business...

Michelangelo: Trying to kill us!

Annie Watson: And he has so many skills.

Leonardo: Which he uses to try to kill us!

Annie Watson: I don't care what any of you think! I'm going out on this date! (Opens door.)

Shredder: Wow. You look as beautiful as Bruce Jenner.

Annie Watson: (sigh) Let's just go.