The Dating Shame

Oh, this looks so good. I am starving. Oh, Rae! Rae do you see what I see? I see that I am not eating. Rae, but look, over there. Look, talking to your dad. Oh, man, that's Rodney Rivers, the morning DJ on KFOO. Hey, Dad, what is Rodney Rivers doing here? Oh, he's hosting a new teen dating show. And they're going to shoot here at the Chill Grill. Oh, man, another cheesy dating show? What is this one about? Four girls compete for a date with one guy. I don't even know why people would want to embarrass themselves like that. Yeah, right. Hey, San Francisco! It's your very own teen dating show, TermiDate. So join me, Rodney Rivers, live tomorrow night to find out who will win a dream date with our hunky heartthrob, Chad. Will it be Crystal? Claudia? Chelsea? Or Raven? Yep, that's me. Oh, my gosh. Would you guys look at all these cameras and lights? How do I look? You look great, Eddie. But, um, hey, you're not on the show. We are. Whatever, Rae. This is my big chance to break into show biz. Okay now, I'm going to go make my big move. And so all the kids on the show can wear these really cool Chill Grill T-shirts. No. Excuse me, Mr. Rivers. Can I holler at you for a minute? Holler, yes. Touch, no. Yeah, well, I'm Eddie Thomas and I've always dreamed of being in show business. Well, son, I'm about to make your dream come true. Really? It's just that easy? Yep, so why don't we celebrate? How about a cup of coffee and a doughnut? My big break and a doughnut? Actually, it's for me. Everything you do from now on, will be for me. It's called working for me. I got you. Yeah, man. I mean, everybody got to start from somewhere. I mean today, doughnuts; tomorrow bagels. Make sure they're fresh, kid. Chelsea, look. There is our competition. Crystal and Claudia. Rae, it's not about competition. Come on If we're going to play this game, Rae, let's take the high road, okay? Hello, losers. Oh, that is it! You are going down! Hey, there! Calm it down, calm it down, calm it down. Chelsea The high road, the high one up there. I'm sorry, Rae, but I'm taking a detour. No. What is Chelsea really like? Chelsea is such a loser. And that's coming from my heart. Chels Um, hey, girl what if it's not such a good idea if we go on the show. Rae, come on, you said you were into this. But Chels, listen: What if one of us gets caught up in this and says mean stuff about the other one? Oh, I get it. Just 'cause I get a little competitive sometimes, Rae, don't worry, okay, 'cause I would never, ever say anything bad about you, okay? Okay, you silly. You're crazy. Yeah. You're not the one I'm worried about. Look at me, I'm in show business. Slow your wo, Mr. Hollywood. I have a problem. I just had a vision that I was on the show and I got really ugly. Well, we got makeup people for that, Rae. No, Eddie. It wasn't about how I looked. It was about I said. I turned on Chelsea and called her a loser. Then don't call her a loser, Rae. You're right. I have to stay positive. I have to take the high road and watch what I say so I don't say anything mean about Chelsea that will ruin our friendship. Thanks, Eddie. Yeah, whatever, just don't call her a loser. Honey hurry up. We're going to be late for the wedding. I'm coming, I'm coming. Cory, is Mrs. Wilson here yet? No and I don't need a baby-sitter anyway. I'm not a baby. All you all doing is paying somebody to watch me watch TV. Cory, we just don't think you're ready to stay home alone. Am too, am too, am too! And that's how I used to act before I was old enough to stay home alone. Give it up, Cory. Fine. Treat me like a baby. Hello? Oh, hi, Mrs. Wilson. You can't make it? All right! I mean, get well soon. Oh, no, no, don't worry. I'll tell them. Tell us what? Oh, that was Mrs. Wilson. She's, uh, stuck in traffic. Yeah, she'll be here in five minutes. Don't worry. Son, are you going to be okay by yourself until she gets here? Oh, yeah. Don't worry about me, dad; I'll be fine. Well, we have our cell phones with us. Don't open the door for anybody but Mrs. Wilson. I got it, I got it. You kids have fun now, you hear? All right. The whole house to myself. It's time for San Francisco's hottest new teen dating game TermiDate! where our four lovely young ladies will compete for a dream date with our hot, and hunky handsome heartthrob Now remember, only one of these girls will end up with Chad. The others will be TermiDated! Fabulous. I just want to say a couple of words about my friend, Chelsea No, no You'll have plenty of time to trash talk later. No, I don't want to trash her. I just want to say how wonderful Go ahead, relax there. And we'll get on with the show, okay! Now yesterday, the ladies had a chance to impress Chad in a San Francisco hot spot, The Chill Grill. Take a look. Hey, dance with me, Chad. No, dance with me, Chad. No, dance with me. What are you doing? Get out of here! I hope that ain't that girl's real hair. Hello, ladies. All right, now it's time for two of these lovely young ladies to be termidated. So Chad, come on up here and tell us who's it going to be? Well, Rodney, they're all awesome. But I'm going to have to termidate Claudia and Crystal. Oh, yes! In your faces! Claudia, that means you're going to have to take the walk of shame. Ladies? Yeah, well he ain't all that anyway. Okay, looks like we're down to our two finalists, Chelsea and Raven, who just happen to be the best of friends. Yes, actually we met in kindergarten. Actually, Raven used to bring me things and see if I would eat them. And you know what, Chels? You always did. I sure did. Isn't that heartwarming? So, Chelsea, why don't you step backstage to our soundproof room and give us a chance to talk to Raven alone. Okay. Bye, Chels. Bye, sweetie. All right, Raven. Why don't we take a look at what Chelsea had to say about you yesterday at the Chill Grill. Okay. Take a look. I don't know why any boy would pick Raven. She's a backstabber. A backstabber? Ooh, that's cold. After I tried so hard to take the high road and keep my vision from Keep keep my vision, um keep my vision good. Because everyone needs to keep your vision good so you can see stuff. That's why I read at night Okay, why don't you finish your babbling backstage and we'll bring Chelsea back out. All right. Chelsea? Hi, there. Come on in and have a seat. All right, Chelsea. Now, why don't we take a look at what your best friend, Raven had to say about you yesterday. Take a look. What is Chelsea really like? Chelsea is such a loser. And that's coming from my heart. What? How could she say that? Yeah, I told her not to say it. I told her twice. So it's going to be like that now? Well, I guess it does. And you call me competitive? Oh, girl, you have not seen competitiveness. Well, then, bring it. Ding dong. Delivery for Chels. It's brought! Oh, it's brought! Oh, don't go away, because when we come back our two best friends, or should I say ex-best friends, are going to battle it out in the challenge round when we come back to TermiDate. Don't go anywhere. All right, we're back with our two remaining TermiDaters, Chelsea and Raven. Ladies, you ready to play? Oh, oh, I'm ready, but I ain't playing. Yeah, well, I'm playing, but I'm not ready. What? Well, you'd better get ready because it's time for our challenge round where our two contestants will battle it out to win Chad's heart. Ready, Chad? Let's do it. Let's bring out our TermiDate Challenge Wheel! Thank you. All right, Chad. You ready to do this? Do it, Rodney. All right. All right, come on down, ladies, because you're about to face one of these challenges. Or, if you're lucky, you might walk away with one million dollars. Chad, let's do it. It's so exciting. Yes! Yes! Yeah! Oh! That was so close. Ladies, welcome to the Stone Age. Don't go away, because we'll be back with our two battling cave girls right after this. Coffee! Right away. Coming. Whoa, whoa. Easy. Hey, so, uh, as one guy in show biz to another: How did you get Raven and Chelsea to bad-mouth each other like that? It's easy. I film them saying nice things, I take out the nice. Are you allowed to do that? Hey, it's reality TV, kid. What do you think, it's real? Where's my powdered doughnut? Oh, uh I'll get right on that. Don't even worry about that. You do that. Okay. This is the life. No parents, no baby-sitters no pants! And now back to tonight's feature on Too Scary For Children Theater: "Eye of the Zombie II. " I've got my eye on you. Here, let me get it off. Oh, man. Cory! It knows my name. Cory! Cory! It's the eye of the zombie! Cory! Where did I put that spare key? No one-eyed zombie is going to get me. Gotcha! Cory, what are you doing? Uh practicing my backhand. And my tackling. What are you doing home? I left my purse and my-my keys and the wedding present. Wait a minute. I'll ask the questions around here. Where is Mrs. Wilson? Oh. Ms. Wilson, you can come out now! You must have scared her off. Okay, Cory, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Mrs. Wilson never showed up. You're good, Mama. And did you know she wasn't coming? Yeah. She called and said she was sick. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I thought it might be fun to stay home alone. But I hated it. Did you say hate or ate? Am I in trouble? Yeah. Okay, but we'll discuss your punishment after the wedding. Go get your good suit on. I'm going? You want to stay home alone? I'll be right back. Just okay. Welcome back to TermiDate, and it's time for our challenge. So, let's say hello to our Stone Age cuties, Raven and Chelsea. You know what, you're the backstabber. What? Rae, where is that even coming from? Girl, do not play dumb with me. I'm not playing. I'll say no more. All right, let's save the hostility, ladies, because you're going to need it for this Stone Age Challenge. Because we're going to have ourselves an old-fashioned egg-eating contest. We're going to do what? But not just any eggs, uh-uh. Dinosaur eggs! That's right, Chad loves a girl with a big appetite. It's true, ladies. You a freak, ain't you? Hey, I got to talk to both of y'all. Can we get a different stagehand? Watch your hands, man. All right, ladies, you ready? Okay. Now, whoever eats her egg the fastest not only wins this challenge, but they win the dream date with Chad. Unless, of course, one of you wants to back out now. No way. Uh-uh, let's do this. I'm ready. All right. Hands behind your back. Chadster. Ready, set, eat! Let's go, let's go! It's going to go down to the wire. Come on, ladies, come on. Oh, and the winner is It's a tie! We're going to have to go to our tie breaker! Which is what? And remember, girls, whoever holds on the longest gets to hold on to Chad. I'm never giving up. Yeah, well, I'm never giving up longer. And whoever can't hold on takes a dip in our tar pit and gets TermiDated! Please. I can stay up on this thing forever. Right hand! Left hand! Huh. Hey, bet you can't do no hands. Oh, please. I Oh, no. I'm not falling for that one, okay? You know what I don't get? Why did you have to trash-talk me on TV? Rae, I did not trash-talk you. You trash-talked me. You called me a loser. What? I never said that. That only happened in my You know, that thing I can't talk about on television. Okay, if you're trying to confuse me or something, it's not going to work. Okay, I'm a rock, man! Oh, no she didn't. That's right. "Raven and Chelsea. Nice Version. " You're going down. I'm I'm I'm staying up. What is Chelsea really like? Chelsea is such a good friend, I would never want to lose her. And that's coming from my heart. What? You said that? Oh, man, sounds so much better with all those other words in there. Who played that tape? First rule in show business: Never leave your tapes by the doughnut table, okay? I don't know why any boy wouldn't pick Raven. She's a fantastic friend and not a backstabber. Oh, Chels, that's so sweet. You know what, Chels? What? They messed with our tapes. I can't even believe that I would think that you would say all those mean things about me. Yeah, I got caught up, too, girl. I'm sorry. Aw, me, too. Hug. Hug. You know what's amazing? You have a lot of upper body strength. Thanks, Chels. You're welcome. I work out. You work out? Yeah. I do, it's very important. Very important. You see that? You cannot tear us apart. Yeah, yeah, you cannot mess up our friendship over a boy. Yeah, no matter how cute Yeah, or adorable or fun he may be. We quit. You can't do that. Why not? Because someone has to fall into this very expensive tar pit. Zap 'em! Just kidding. Gets them every time. Well, that's our show for tonight. Tune in next week when we'll try to work out the kinks in our game and hopefully find four new ladies who don't have that kind of upper body strength. Until then, I'm Rodney Sorry, Rodney! You've just been TermiDated! Good night, everybody. Thanks for watching! Good night. Bye! Yo. The whole school is talking. Everybody saw y'all on TV yesterday. Ooh! Did they think we were cool? Didn't you hear me, Rae? They all saw you. Can you even believe how competitive we got? I know, I know, but I could have held on to that bar for, like, another five minutes. Yeah, I could have done at least another, I don't know, ten. Yeah, 15. Twenty. You think so? I know so. Then bring it. Look, y'all, I've got homework. I'll holler at y'all. Tired? No. You? No. No, I'm good. Good. I'm great. I'm better.