Betty White & the Huntsman / Ancient Greek MythBusters

(Start at the castle)

Queen Ravenna: Mirror mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Mario Lopez (in mirror voice): You're the fairest, but there's one destined to surpass you.

Queen Ravenna: Who? Who is it?

Mario Lopez (in mirror voice): It is... Coming right up on the next Extra...

(Ravenna pulls out the gold sheet to reveal Mario Lopez)

Queen Ravenna: Mario Lopez?

Mario Lopez: What? I record the show from here now! Plus, I'm also on the web. What's your Wi-Fi password? (In mirror voice) Aaahh, here it is. Her skin is white as snow! Her hair is also white! She... (In normal voice) A-a-actually, it's Betty White.

Queen Ravenna: Curse you, Snow White! I'll-- Wait, you said Snow White, right?

Mario Lopez: Nope! Says here - Betty White!

Queen Ravenna: Oh. Curse you, Betty White! I'll find-- The one from the Golden Girls?

(Title card: Betty White & the Huntsman)

(Cut to the tower)

Huntsman: Wait, so you're saying Betty White; from the Golden Girls?

Queen Ravenna: Yes! I know! The Golden Girls! She's been in half-leagues too, you know. You must venture into the Dark Forest and bring Betty White here so I can consume her heart and live forever!

Huntsman: I shall return! (Runs out, then comes back) Sorry. We were definitely talking about Betty White?

Queen Ravenna: GO!!!

(Cut to Betty's house)

Beith: Betty White's office, can I help you?

Muir: She doesn't leave the house for less then a min!

Nion: Mary Tyler who?

Betty White: Keep those jobs coming, boys!

Huntsman: It's you! Betty White!

Betty White: Sorry, between (Cut to a poster saying "HOT IN CLEVELAND") Hot in Cleveland, (Cut to a poster saying "OFF THEIR ROCKERS") Off Their Rockers, (Cut to a "WRINKLED WRESTLING ELDERS" poster) and defending my WWE welter-weight title, I don't have time for autographs!

Huntsman: I don't want an autograph! I want your heart! I-I mean, the Queen does! So she can eat it a-and consume your-- You know what, these are details you do not need to know right now.

Betty White: No one shall have my heart! I mean, unless you're available!

Beith: Hey! They're falling in love!

Muir: It's destiny!

Nion: Does this mean we get a half day on Friday?

Huntsman: Settle down, dwarves! That is not how we go! But I do like that Hot in Cleveland show. Tell you what, I'm going to train you to defeat the Queen!

Nion: So, no half day?

Huntsman: You must be trained the art of battle. Put on this suit on armor.

(Throws armor on Betty White)

Betty White: Ow!

Huntsman: Next, your sword.

(Throws sword on armor)

Betty White: Aah!

Huntsman: And finally, your horse.

(Horse whinies and jumps on Betty White)

Betty White: Oof!

Huntsman: You okay under there?

Betty White: Great. I just booked a guest spot on Bones.

(Cuts to army charge)

Huntsman: Now we charge to Queen Ravenna's castle and rid this kingdom of her evil!

(Everyone except Betty White charges)

Betty White: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

(Huntsman stops)

Betty White: This horse has no head!

Huntsman: Ugh, you've got to be kidding me.

(Cuts to castle)

(BOOM!)

Huntsman: Queen Ravenna! Prepare to-... wait, who are you?

Queen Clementiana: I'm Queen Clementiana, the evil queen from Snow White!

Huntsman: That can't be! The evil queen from Snow White is Queen Ravenna!

Betty White: Hang on! Whoa! (Falls off the horse) TWO Snow White movies coming out at the same time? Oh, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard. And I've literally heard everything! (Face armor falls on Betty White's face) Ever. (Pulls face armor back up) I'm old, you guys.

Queen Clementiana: Well, at least ours isn't a rip-off of Lord of the Rings!

Huntsman: Well, at least ours doesn't have Julia Roberts!

Prince Alcott: That's true.

Brighton: We do have to deal with that.

Betty White: Trust me, neither of these films is a good idea. The real Snow White was much better when it came out in 1937. I knew that because I took my grandkids to see it! Now if you wanna revive something, revive the feeling in my hands (Hands fall down weakly), because I have another gig I gotta go to!

(Cuts to Betty White clapping drumsticks together)

Betty White: Two, three, four!

(Screen zooms out, rock music plays Segment ends)