Rain of Terror

(Setting: the rainforest in the Valley of Thundra. Genie has tied his hair and tail to trees like a hammock, and is writing a letter.)

Genie:  "Dear Al, Greetings from the rainforest. Never has a place been more aptly named."

(There's a flash of lightning. A dark cloud appears overhead, and it starts to pour.)

Genie:  "Everyday is a rainy day in the scenic valley of Thundra."

(The cloud passes by, and the rain stops.)

Genie:  "But, Iago and Abu seem to be having fun."

(Abu swings by on a vine, then unties Genie's hair, knocking him against the other tree.)

Genie:  "By the way, Abu met with an unfortunate accident." (zaps Abu)  "But nothing to worry about. As for Iago, let's just say there's a tropical heat wave steaming up his heart. But Thundra is so swamped with the weather gig, Iago can hardly keep up."

(Thundra is flying across the rainforest, while Iago struggles to keep up with her.)

Iago:  Thundra! ¡Un momento!

Thundra:   (landing on a cloud)  Patience, my lovebird. (takes a book and pen out from under her wing and starts checking off things in the book)  Hail,  sí. Sleet,  sí. Howling winds,  sí   sí.

Iago: (landing on a nearby cloud, exhausted) Advanced aerobics, ''sí! ''Done already, Thundra, dear?

Thundra: (chuckles) Not used to a hard day's work, eh, giblet?

Iago: You think runnin' Agrabah isn't hard work? Without me around the sultan wouldn't know how to tie his turban in the morning.

(Genie and Abu are now floating on a nearby cloud. Abu starts laughing.)

Genie: Abu! If the all-powerful Iago is here, how will the kingdom survive!? There'll be panic in the streets!

Iago: (whispering to Genie) Do you mind? I have a certain image I'm fabricating here!

Thundra: At least Iago can take a vacation and leave his royal responsibilities to others…

Genie: Yeah, Rajah will have to clean his own litter box this week! (he and Abu start laughing)

Iago: Come on, who couldn't do your job? You line up the clouds, chirp out the cities, and wham!

Thundra: Iago, mi amor, it is not so simple.

Iago: What could be so difficult?

Thundra: Once, my weather powers belonged to another. One who abused the powers. I defeated the fiend to save my rainforest. Once I took the medallion from him, I understood that its power had a purpose.

Iago: What purpose? You make it rain.

Thundra: The world's weather is an intricate web of natural forces. And everything I learned I put in this book.

Iago: Okay, so the last guy who had the job couldn't cut it, and you're a natural.

Thundra: It's not the job, it's the responsibility. Not everyone can handle so much power without being corrupted.

Iago: You're talkin' about me, aren't ya?!

Genie: If the implied insult fits…

Iago: Thundra, I am responsibility! You can take a vacation! I'll fill in.

Thundra: A little time off in the sun… just for the weekend, maybe…

Iago: Thundra, take a three-day weekend! I'll run the show.

Thundra: Oh, Iago, you are so sweet, but… Oh, ¡mi amor! (kisses him) ¡Absolutamente! I'll do it!

(Below them, hidden in the forest, a giant feathered serpent is eavesdropping on them)

Serpent: Yes…

(Later that day, Iago is following Thundra again.)

Thundra: Now listen closely: you'll read the weather reports from my book, and command the clouds to take the precipitation from the filling station to—

Iago: Thundra, will I get to wear the rainbow tail? I mean, having magical powers is fine, but looking good on the job, that's priority number one!

(Thundra rolls her eyes.)

(Later, Thundra is finished giving Iago instructions, and they both land on the ground next to Genie and Abu.)

Thundra: Iago, dear, I'm trusting you. (hugs him)

Iago: Come on, you're crushing my wing.

Genie: ''¡Atención, por favor! (There's now an airport next to them, and Genie is dressed as an airline pilot)'' All legendary rainbirds prepare for immediate departure! (a metal detector appears in front of Thundra) Now, Thundra, you're booked straight through to Mazatlán.

(Thundra walks through the metal detector carrying Iago; it goes off. Genie takes Iago from her and puts him through the x-ray machine.)

Genie: Oh, skycap! (turns Abu into one; a giant chest appears over his head for him to carry)

Thundra: (holding out the medallion to Iago) Now remember, Iago—

Iago: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah… power, responsibility, I know the drill.

Thundra: I expect you to guard this medallion with all your courage. For 48 hours you are the keeper of the world's weather. (gives him the medallion)

Iago: (putting it on) It's a weekend, who needs rain anyway? I mean, people picnic. Kidding! Relax, I'll handle it.

Thundra: Bueno, mi amor. (kisses him)

Iago: Do you mind? We've got an audience here.

Thundra: Adios, mi amigos. (flies away)

(Iago flies around wearing the medallion; he is trailed by a rainbow.)

Iago: Get a load of me, I'm Mr. Rainbow!

Genie: (to Abu) Quite a colorful character, eh? I just hope all this power doesn't go to his head.

Abu: Oh boy.

Iago: Imagine, all the weather powers of the world around my neck! Are you imagining?! (laughs maniacally)

Genie: Iago with power. It's not a pretty picture.

(A little while later, Iago is reading Thundra's book, while Genie and Abu watch.)

Iago: Okay, let's see how this works. (whistles, and a cloud comes up to him) I order you to drizzle!

(The cloud does nothing. Abu whispers something to Genie.)

Genie: Oh, your royal rainbirdness! Abu suggests you tell the cloud where to drizzle!

Iago: How about a spring shower in the vicinity of Monkeytown!

(The cloud rains on Abu. More clouds come up to Iago; it starts to get dark.)

Iago: What's this? Thunderstorm warning in the southern regions of Genie.

(Lightning strikes Genie's behind.)

Iago: (rolling around on the cloud with laughter) Now I'm warmed up, let's skip ahead to the heavy artillery! (flips ahead in the book) Ooh, this one sounds recklessly powerful. I call forth the icy blast of the arctic winds!

(A giant fist-shaped gust of wind hits Iago, knocking him off the cloud. Genie catches the book. Iago hits the ground, frozen solid. Iago approaches him, as an ice cream vendor.)

Genie: Try our newest Parrotsicle flavor, Ego Crunch! (to Abu) Did Thundra say she'd be gone the whole weekend?

Iago: (shaking off the ice) Who needs her? These rainbird powers are no biggie!

Serpent: That's right, mi amigo. Who needs Thundra? I am Malcho.

Iago: And I am the acting rainbird.

Malcho: I know. Word travels fast in my rainforest, yes?

Iago: Your rainforest? No no no. I control the rain. I have the rainbow tail. I wear the medallion!

Malcho: (flies up into the air, we can now see that he has huge black wings) Things change, mi amigos!

Iago: How can he fly?! Snakes can't fly! I don't like him.

Genie: You're the ruler of the rainforest. Show him what you've got!

Iago: That's right. Why worry if the local wildlife has a bad attitude? I've got power! Face the might of a monsoon, fiend!

(A giant cloud appears over Malcho and starts raining on him. Malcho drinks the rain.)

Malcho: Very refreshing.

Iago: Okay, Genie, what's next?

Malcho: Next? Ah, yes. Now I reclaim my weather powers.

Iago: So, you're the chump Thundra beat out for the job?

Malcho: She lies. I was robbed. Robbed, on the brink of world domination.

Genie: Well, that would explain all your pent-up anger. (flips through the book) Maybe there's an index. Glossary? Pictures?

Iago: Here's one: I summon the blistering winds of the Santa Ana! (a whirlwind appears in front of Malcho) That'll teach him to mess with me—

(The whirlwind changes direction and hits Genie, Abu, and Iago, carrying them away.)

Malcho: Buffoon Iago will be no problem. Thundra might as well have just given me the powers, yes? (laughs)

(Later, Iago is studying the book again.)

Iago: That snake better wise up. Iago the rainbird fears nothing! (there's a clap of thunder) He's back!

Genie: No snake guy, but it looks like rush hour started early.

(A bunch of clouds are all crowded around the waterfall.)

Iago: Ugh, I'm late for work. (flies down towards the clouds) Make way for the rainbird! (starts pushing the clouds around) Okay, one at a time, single file! (looks in the book) Okay, let's see what today's weather map says. Thunderstorms and hurricanes go north, blizzards and hail southbound.

Genie: Snow in the south? Is that weather map upside down?

Iago: No, the map is not upside down, that would mean the book is upside— (turns the book around) Heh, common mistake, could happen to anyone!

(Setting: a tropical beach. Thundra is lying in a palm tree, drinking out of a coconut shell.)

Thundra: Ah, the sand and sea, ooh, and sun. And best of all, no rain.

(Suddenly dark storm clouds block the sun, and it starts to pour.)

Thundra: Iago!

(Setting: back at the waterfall, Iago is still pushing clouds around.)

Iago: What's with you slackers?! Go precipitate somewhere!

Genie: (to Abu) I'm not sure the world's weather can take another day with Iago in charge. Maybe we should read up on this weather scene and help Iago out. Abu, hand me that book, please.

(Abu tries to hand the book to Genie, but Malcho, unseen, knocks it out of his hands.)

Genie: Be right back! (dives after the book)

Malcho: (appearing behind Abu) Malcho has returned, mi amigos!

Iago: May the rains of the— (Malcho snatches the medallion) Cheap clasp!

Malcho: Mine! The power is back, back to the rightful ruler of the rain! (storm clouds start to gather behind him)

Genie: (reading) "Chapter One: The rainforest is your friend." (looks up and sees Malcho) Maybe there'll be time for a review later on.

(Thundra arrives and flies toward them.)

Thundra: (seeing Malcho) ¡Ay carumba! Malcho! He has my medallion?!

Iago: In a word, yeah.

Malcho: At last, Thundra, the reign of the rainbird is over! Let the season of the serpent begin! Thundra, so careful with her power. But now, the world will squirm! I have the power!

Genie: Did someone say power? (turns into a superhero) Face some semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic genie power!

Malcho: I think not! (strikes Genie with lightning) Now, out with the old!

(Malcho blows the others out of the sky with a gust of wind; they fall towards the bottom of the waterfall. Genie grabs them and magics them into a barrel. When they land, the barrel turns into the Jungle Cruise boat from Disneyland. As Malcho dives after them, the boat goes behind the waterfall.)

Genie: (as the tour guide) Hey folks, here's a rare treat on our rainforest river cruise. Look, the backside of water!

(Malcho goes after them, and the boat comes out through the waterfall.)

Genie: That concludes our tour! (speeds away down the river)

Malcho: No! No one escapes Malcho!

Genie: And now we come to the most dangerous part of our journey: the drive home!

(They hit the riverbank and are thrown off the boat.)

Thundra: We don't have much time! That evil serpent won't stop until he's destroyed me!

Iago: Tough break, Thundra. Can we drop you somewhere on the way back to Agrabah?

Thundra: I trusted my rainforest to you! You told me you knew what you were doing!

Genie: Airborne snake at 12 o'clock high!

(Malcho appears overhead and shoots lightning at them, but they get away before it hits.)

Iago: (as they are all flying away from Malcho) Okay, I'll admit this one. I didn't take the job seriously, and I didn't really pay attention to what you said about how to use the weather power! And…

Genie: And?

Iago: And now I want somebody to make it all better.

Genie: I'll do my best! (creates foliage to cover them) Everybody, blend in.

(Malcho flies past, not seeing them.)

Malcho: The genie is swift. He has swept the victims from my grasp. For now. (leaves)

Genie: All clear! Move out!

Thundra: Come, we will hide under the cover of my rainforest.

Iago: Hiding is good! I'm a top notch hider!

(Later, in the rainforest, Genie bends a palm tree over and ties the top of it to the ground. They all hide under the hanging palm leaves. Thundra is not speaking to Iago.)

Iago: (to Thundra) We can't live in the past, honey. Especially the immediate past.

(Abu chatters something to Genie.)

Genie: You're right, hair boy, he's sunk. (to Thundra) Thundra, this is Iago you're talking about. When he said he was reliable, he meant reliable in a deceitful, conniving kind of way.

(Iago nods. Thundra crosses her wings, still angry.)

Iago: Genie's right. I am deceitful, conniving, and sneaky. (to himself) When in doubt, go with your strengths…

(Malcho flies past, searching for them.)

Malcho: I know you're close, Thundra. Dangerously close.

Thundra: Where did Iago go?

Genie: I don't think he's the one to worry about!

Iago: (from outside) Yo stretch!

Genie: Then again…

Iago: Yeah, you! The long, sinister, reptilian guy. (Malcho grabs him with his tail) Oof! Easy, I've got a deal for ya.

Malcho: A defector? You wish to join my side?

Iago: You want Thundra, right?

Malcho: Oh, I do!

Iago: And the genie, too, huh?

Malcho: Sssssí.

Iago: Signed, sealed, and delivered! (unties the rope holding the palm tree down, exposing the others) They're yours!

(Setting: later, Malcho has created a giant Mesoamerican-style pyramid of clouds, with Thundra, Abu, and Genie at the top.)

Genie: Ha! Some prison, Malcho! You forgot the bars! (he tries to walk out, but is struck by lightning) Lightning bars. I knew that.

Malcho: (to Iago) The idea of a sidekick is rather intriguing.

Iago: Oh, please… I prefer to be considered a toadying sycophant!

Malcho: I do tire so of talking to myself. Hatching this evil scheme. Brainstorming that one.

Iago: Hey, I've toadied under the best. References available upon request.

Malcho: And if a scheme fails, perhaps I'll slap you around a bit, yes? Please?

Iago: Oh, sure! Have a party!

Malcho: I envision a storm to end all storms. One for the history books, my little flunky!

Iago: But first, we get rid of them.

Malcho: And how do you propose we get rid of them, my insignificant lackey?

Iago: Well, Thundra's little book has some juicy spells in it. Picture this: torrential rain for forty days!

Malcho: And nights, yes?!

Iago: Eh, I don't work nights.

Genie: Not the book!

Thundra: You cannot do this!

Genie: Yeah, I caught it when it fell, and, you know, finders keepers and all that stuff.

Iago: Maestro, a little wind, please!

(Malcho creates a gust of wind, knocking the book out of Genie's hands. Iago catches it.)

Iago: Hey, Genie? Losers weepers and all that stuff!

Thundra: That book unlocks all of my most powerful secrets!

Iago: Ha! That's the point, sweetheart. (takes the book back to Malcho and opens it.) Hoohoo! This spell here is great! I gave the monkey a shower, now that was rich!

Abu: Why you! (chatters angrily)

Malcho: A shower? Ha! The all-powerful Malcho demands a torrential downpour! (it starts to rain heavily over the top of the pyramid)

Iago: Uh, yeah, that's how it went. More or less.

Genie: This I can handle. (creates an umbrella and holds it over them, but it is struck by lightning and destroyed)

Iago: (flips the page) And then I made this little lightning zap that hit the genie! Pow! Ha ha! Oh, I really got him that time!

Genie: I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this. That explanation is: Iago's a louse!

Malcho: Lightning, yes! A proper frying would be a fitting end for the almighty rainbird!

Iago: NO! I mean, uh, Thundra is old and tough!

Thundra: The parrot will pay!

Iago: You'll need something special to destroy Thundra, and here's the one: the arctic blast!

Malcho: ''¡Bueno! ¡Bueno!''

Genie: Wait a minute! That's the spell that… Iago!

Thundra: (covering Genie's mouth) Oh, Iago, mi amor, I knew you would not desert me!

Iago: You need a lotta room for this one. (backs far away from Malcho)

Malcho: Yesssss! Malcho calls forth the blast of the arctic wind! Ha ha ha! (is hit by the arctic blast) Aaah!

(The blast knocks the medallion off of Malcho; Iago catches it.)

Malcho: Traitor! (is knocked into the waterfall, where he is frozen in a giant icicle)

Iago: That sucker packs a punch! I seem to have tricked you, yes?

(The pyramid disappears, and the others fly up to Iago. Iago places the medallion around Thundra's neck.)

Iago: There, chalk one up for the conniving parrot!

Thundra: ¡Gracias, mi amor! (kisses him)

Genie: Excuse me, you two lovebirds, I've got a job to do! (picks up the frozen waterfall) He's cold-blooded. The north pole oughta suit him fine. (throws the icicle over the horizon)

(Setting: later, Iago and Thundra are by the waterfall)

Thundra: Ah, back to normal…

Genie: (flies up to Thundra and Iago, carrying luggage) I packed! You ready?

(There's a sound coming from one of the bags. Genie unzips it and Abu is inside.)

Genie: If you're there, where's my brown suit? (zips Abu back inside) Adios, Thundra! (flies away)

Iago: Uh, th-there goes my ride, I better catch up…

Thundra: Before you go, I just want to say, gracias.

Iago: For being a lousy rainbird?

Thundra: For just being lousy. I needed a hero who was deceitful, conniving, and sneaky to defeat Malcho.

Iago: Thank you! I think.

THE END