How Avengers: Endgame Should Have Ended

We see a progress in the Time Heist in 1970. While Tony is going after the Space Stone, Steve sees a past version of Peggy Carter in her office.

Steve: Captain ball!

Peggy (Past): Oh my gosh! Steve?!

The two begin making out and the music intensifies.

Peggy (Past): What are you doing here?

Steve: I made out with your niece in the future! I'm really sorry!

Peggy (Past) : (angrily) What?!

Cue MCU inspired logo which then gets stepped on by a rat which makes the logo fall

Guy: No no no no! Not again! Awe come on, man! Right when the camera went by! What are the odds?

We see Nebula getting captured by the Black Order after Rhodey managed to get away with the Power Stone.

Nebula: He knows! Thanos knows! (her ship gets lifted to the past Black Order's ship) Oh no! I'm being captured. If only I had a device that would allow me to magically escape back to my own time... (realizes she has the Quantum Realm suit) Oh! Right. (goes back to 2023)

Black Order Soldier (Past): Oh my gosh, Thanos! The other Nebula has escaped!

Thanos (Past): You guys!

Ebony Maw (Past): Whoopsies

Fast Forward to Widow and Hawkeye fighting about who gets the Soul Stone

Black Widow: I'm gonna do it! Let me die!

Hawkeye: NO! I should be the one to go! Let me!

Black Widow: You have kids!

Hawkeye: You are way more attractive!

Black Widow: I never get to do anything important! Let me jump!

Red Skull (Past): Guys.

Hawkeye: No! Let me!

Red Skull (Past): Guys! (Black Widow and Hawkeye stop) l grow weary of listening to your argument. Actually, I grow weary of pretty much everything about this whole place. I have been here so many years. I am bored out of my mind. I will jump. I shall give you the stone.

Hawkeye: Really?

Red Skull: Yes. I will do it.

Hawkeye: Wow!

Black Widow: Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! I love you!

Red Skull: That is all I needed to hear! (jumps to his death) Freedom!

Widow and Hawkeye acquire the Soul Stone.

Hawkeye: Well, alright then.

Fast Forward to after Hulk brought everyone who was snapped away, back to life.

Ant-Man: Guys! l think it worked!

The Avengers Facility gets blown up by the Black Order's ship from the past thanks to a past Nebula.

Thanos (Past): Are they dead?

Ebony Maw (Past): No, mighty Thanos. Sensors indicate zero casualties.

Thanos (Past): Really?! What the farts you guys! What kind of missiles are we using here? Shoot them again, and do it right this time!

Ebony Maw (Past): Yes, my liege.

Everyone in the wreckage gets blown up while screaming in sheer agony.

Rhodey's Gravestone: Not Terrence Howard

Ant-Man's Gravestone: Here lies the owner of an ugly van

Hawkeye's Gravestone: Robin Hood but Goth

Rocket's Gravestone: Someone's pet raccoon who liked to play dress up

Cap's Gravestone: Some Guy with a Patriotic Shield

Iron Man's Gravestone: A man with a fat wallet and a light attached to his chest.

Thor's Gravestone: A fat slob

Hulk's Gravestone: A Green Person apparently died burning his arm.

Fast Forward to when Cap, Iron Man and Thor confront Past Thanos.

Cap: He's just sitting there.

Iron Man: And he doesn't have any infinity stones.

Thor: Let's kill him properly this time. (Summons his ax and a past version of his hammer)

Thanos (Past): You could not live without your own failure, where did that bring you? Back to me. I thought by eliminating half of life...

Thor: You talk too much.

Thor throws his hammer at him.

Thanos (Past): Wha? Oof!

Thor: Not worthy.

Thanos (Past): Get this hammer off me!

Cap: (simultaneously with Iron Man) Ha! You like that? How you like that? Where's your Chitauri now?!

Iron Man: (simultaneously with Cap) Get him! Get him in the ribs! Smear the Titan, let's go!