The Mother of All Missions

1 Previously Is this the Cooper residence? I'm actually here for Kira Cooper. I think she might be my mother's sister. If she is anything like her mother, that girl is no good. Wait, wait. Your sister joined the Other Side? I'm sorry. I didn't get to properly introduce myself before. I'm KC Cooper, and I'm your cousin. Come on in. You could be putting us all in danger with that girl. That girl is your niece. So she says. What happened to your sister? For the millionth time, I don't know, Agent Johnson. I've never known, Agent Johnson. But if I find out, I'll let you know, Agent Johnson! What a beautiful locket. We figured that since your mom's gone, this would be the next best thing. I'm actually looking at my mother's face. Abby She's not gone. I'm sorry. What? - She's alive. - What? She's alive, and I know where she is. Mom. Mom, wake up. Freeze, dirtbag! KC, it's the middle of the night. What are you doing up? I can't sleep, okay? And I've been thinking we need to take Abby to meet her mom. What?! No! Absolutely not. A mother and daughter should not be apart like that. That's so sad. Could you imagine if we were separated? I wish we were separated. So why don't you go back to your room, and I'll go back to sleep. No, Mom, I'm serious. We have to do this for Abby, and don't you miss Erica a little bit? - No, I don't. - I don't believe you. She's your sister, and that means something. Siblings have a bond for life. What are you guys doing up? None of your business. Get out. Honey, we just got back into the Organization. Do you know what they'd do to us if Abby found out we're spies? What your father might do? They don't have to know. Erica is in the Caribbean. How are we gonna get her all the way down there without her finding out the truth? I don't know yet, but I'll figure it out. Okay, please. All right, fine. We'll do it. - Thanks, Mom. - All right, now get out of here. I got a big mission in the morning. - I gotta get some sleep. - Good night. (Alarm clock beeping) Wakey-wakey. Eggs and bac-y. Oh, when danger comes for you You know I'll stand beside you 'Cause ain't nobody keep things hustle cool I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire Don't tell nobody, tell nobody I'm not perfect So many things I wanna tell you But I, I, I, I keep it undercover Livin' my life, no way to learn Doin' my thing, gonna make it work Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless But I always got your back Nobody can do it like I can I gotta find out who I am Ain't got to worry about me It's all part of the plan I keep it undercover. I keep it undercover. And this is from our family vacation in Miami two years ago. Well, I've been dying to get to know this family, and 4,300 pictures later, I feel like I really know ya. 4,301. Everyone smile! Hey, Abby, can I get you some more iced tea? No, thanks. I'm fine. A relative that doesn't want anything from me? Oh, she's a keeper. Welcome to the family. Speaking of which, Abby, I just wanna put it out there. Since we're cousins, absolutely nothing romantic can happen between us. I'm officially off limits. (Scoffs) Off limits and off your rocker. Just setting boundaries so no hearts get broken. Ernie is everything you said he is. I know. I'm sorry. So I have a surprise for you girls. I am taking the three of us to the Robair Lottair Spa in Virginia Beach this weekend. For real? That sounds great. Ooh! A spa weekend. I can't wait to get my pamper on. Okay, Ernie, let's go pick up the Chinese food. Wasn't that weird? KC being excited about a spa? What's weird about that? She hates that kind of stuff. Have you ever seen her get her nails done? It's like watching a dog at the groomer's. I think they're up to something. Ernie, you know what you don't know about women? Everything. All women like spas. Trust me, there is nothing going on. All right, here's what's going on. We're not actually taking you to a spa, okay? We're taking you to meet your mom. Are you serious? Is this really happening? I don't know what to say. Well, you could start by saying, "KC, you are the best cousin in the world," but that is just a jumping-off point. Really, anything to express what a great cousin I am, works perfectly fine. Actually, Abby, Craig and Ernie can't know about this. In fact, nobody can know what we're up to. You got it. You have nothing to worry about. I'm great at keeping secrets. Sir! This is exactly what we've been waiting for. By this time tomorrow, we'll have the location of Kira's sister Erica. And Erica is the key to finally finding out who the head of the Other Side is. We are breaking, like, a million rules taking Abby to Erica. So whatever happens, remember, we can't let her know we're spies. I promise, she's not gonna know anything. There's my partner in crime, and by crime, I mean shopping! Girl, the way you shop is a crime. But I can't. I have a spa weekend planned. A spa weekend? I would love - No, you can't come. - Family only and you're not family! Whoa. You guys do need to chill out. Good thing you're going to a spa. (Forced laughter) Marisa: Speaking of spas, have you ever seen the video of those Japanese spas with the fish that eat the dead skin off your feet? I wish I could have some of those as pets. Would I have to actually feed them, or could I just stick my feet in the tank? I wonder if they have those fish at the spa you're going to. Well, I guess I will never know, because clearly, I'm not welcome. So much for the more the merrier. Oh, cheer up. You! I think it's time for us to go to the spa now. KC will see you when she gets back from the spa, where she'll be all weekend. Just the spa, and nowhere else. Okay, bye. KC will call you from the spa! Why did you do that? Why didn't you just destroy the bug? Because whoever planted it there would know we found it. I'm guessing it's the Other Side who's looking for Erica. Or it's the Organization and they're on to us, and they planted it. Either way, we gotta cancel this trip. No! Mom, this may be the only chance that Abby has to meet her mother. Please. And how do you suggest that we avoid being followed, KC? Well, you put the bug on Marisa. That should buy us some time. Plus, I mean, talking to her makes my head spin. I can only imagine what she's gonna do to them. So I figured, if they can get pampered without me, I can get pampered without them. Besides, my mom has had this spa gift certificate for almost a week. If she hasn't used it by now, she will never miss it. I've really missed you. It feels like years since I've seen you. Sir, uh I just heard Kira Cooper talking to her sister. Should we engage? No, no, keep listening. If we go in too soon, it could scare the sister back into hiding. While I'm here, I could use a makeover. I was thinking a whole new face. (Callus remover whirring) Oh, my gosh. They're ripping off Kira's face. It just seems weird. Oh, stop worrying. Some kids don't get facial hair till they're in college. I was talking about KC. I just don't believe she went to a spa. Then why is there a spa charge on my phone app? Hey, why is there no spa charge on my phone app? Wait a second. What if KC and your mother didn't really go to that spa, and they're up to something? I know. What if Mom's sister isn't really dead? What if Mom knows where she is and is secretly taking Abby to meet her? Ernie, please. I'm trying to think. What if, instead of being dead, Erica's just been hiding all these years? I bet your mom and KC are secretly taking Abby to meet her. Wow. Why didn't I think of that? Erica's dangerous. I'm gonna go help them. You should come along, too, Ernie. Give you a a chance to see how a top spy operates. Top spy? Does that mean someone else is coming with us? Why are we at a private airport? Because it's the fastest way to the Caribbean. And we don't want you to wait any longer than necessary to meet your mother. So KC's calling in a favor. I'd feel bad for stealing this helicopter if you hadn't have stolen it first. KC has a friend who owns a helicopter? Yes. She has several friends who own helicopters. In fact, KC volunteers her time with over-privileged youth. Yep, my baby's a do-gooder. Not feeling so smug now, are you, smuggler? She never mentioned doing any volunteer work to me. Well, she doesn't like to brag. And that's the first sign of a good do-gooder. Doin' good. All right, guys, come on. You know how to fly one of those?! Uh, I just got my learner's permit, and I'm not allowed to fly in the dark, so hurry up and get in. Ernie: Hey, stop the van. The GPS signals stop here. Look. Mom's car. There's no one inside. - I can't believe it. - Is it a clue? No. Mom's car. It's filthy. I go through all that trouble to write "Wash me" in the dirt, and she ignores it. What's that on the ground next to the car? A wrapper from your mom's favorite type of chewing gum. Someone must've captured her, and she left that as a clue. Or Mom just parked there because it's next to that private airport, and she needed a piece of gum because her ears always pop when she flies. Ernie, please, please! Would you let the experienced guy handle this? Wait a minute. I have a new theory. (Screaming) Ow, ow, that hurts. You're killing me. I'm begging you. Stop it. Please stop. (Screaming) You're a monster! A monster. Sir! The Cooper situation has taken an ugly turn. It appears Kira is being tortured. We can't wait any longer. We have to save her. We're going in. Let's move it. Hey. Do you have any idea where the people who took your helicopter were going? They asked if it had enough fuel to get to Anguilla. Ernie, stop wasting time talking to this guy. We have to figure out where your mother went. KC, how exactly do you know how to fly a helicopter? Uh It was one of those Cheapon deals. Um, you see, when my mom got bored with the whole accounting thing, we signed up for a six-week flying class. Seriously, you guys. Enough. I got a scholarship to Howard. I'm not an idiot. Tell me what's really going on. All right. I know I said we shouldn't tell her, but she's family, so we're just gonna trust her with the truth. Go ahead, KC. Okay, fine. Abby, what's really going on is you were born a princess in a war-torn foreign KC, tell her! Fine. This is gonna sound a little bit crazy, too, but (Sighs) we're a family of spies. My mom's a spy, my dad's a spy, - I'm a spy. - Yeah, right. And Ernie's a spy too? Yes. Ernie is a spy. Although that part does sound a bit unbelievable. But really, it's all true. Really? Really. Now activating automatic pilot mode. Okay. Guess you guys are spies. Wait. Does that mean my mother's a spy, too? No wonder she had to give me up. That would all make sense. She was so busy saving the world from evil that she had no choice but to fake her own death. - Right? - No, not exactly. Not even close. She's one of the bad guys, isn't she? - Really bad. - Worst of the worst. I'm sorry, Abby. So am I. I don't even know if I still wanna meet her. Is it too late to just turn around and actually go to that spa? Look, I know you're scared, but we're gonna get through this together. As a family. I don't understand this. We've looked for Erica everywhere. Where is she? Gee, Mom, I have no idea why a wanted fugitive would be so hard to find. Unless she doesn't wanna meet me. No, I've been in touch with her using coded messages on the dark net. She said she'd be near this cafe at this time. I don't get it. - Mom, that's her. - Where? That older woman right there. She's been staring at us since we walked in. You think that's my sister? How old do you think I am? I'm saying it's a mask. Aunt Erica. It's me. KC. Kira's daughter. Who? Oh, come on. Stop pretending. I know it's you under there. Just take off the mask. Ow! Boy, that's really glued on there good, isn't it? I believe you're looking for me. Wait. If you're Erica, then that means Ooh, my bad. Hello, Abby. I'd know my baby anywhere. I can't believe, after all these years, I'm looking into your beautiful eyes again. Actually I'm KC. That's Abby. Hello. Oh. Well, in all fairness, it has been a while. Growing up, I felt like an outsider in my own family. I know they all tried their best, but that didn't make the loneliness any less painful. That's so sad. It is so sad. And then, when I found out that my parents picked Kira to join the Organization while keeping me in the dark all that time, it just pushed me over the edge. And why wouldn't it? You were so alone. For the hundredth time, Erica, they didn't recruit you because they were concerned about your anti-social tendencies. So I'm not a people person! Anyway, as I was saying, it wasn't long after that that I joined the Other Side There, my anti-social tendencies were not just tolerated, but celebrated. I quickly rose up the ranks and became their top operative. Then I got the assignment where I met your father. He was a brilliant research scientist, and my orders were to make him fall in love with me, and he did. But I also fell in love with him. For the first time in my life, I was totally happy. Till you came along. Wow. You really aren't a people person. No, no, no, you don't understand. Becoming a mother changed me. I wanted out, but you can't just quit the Other Side. Oh, you were torn. You were torn between two worlds. You had a baby in your arms and a gun to your head. In order to save Abby from the life I was living, I was forced to fake my own death, go on the run and give up my family, even though it broke my heart into a million pieces. Giving up your own baby to give her a better life. That just I'm sorry. I can't take it. Neither can I, KC. I really appreciate you caring, but take it down a notch. I can't even hear my own life story. Go on. I was on my own, a fugitive from both sides, and after a few years of being on the run, I realized I needed help. But I couldn't bring myself to ask my parents, and Kira had always been fair with me. Finally you get to the good part of the story. And now, after all these years, we're finally all together again. Except your father. Not a day went by that I didn't think of the two of you How is he? I'm sorry, Mom. He recently passed. Excuse me, can we get some more napkins over here please? Thank you. I love massages. I could just tune out the world. We got her! No, we don't. - That isn't Kira Cooper. - Or is it? New face. Good work, Gibb. Uh, excuse me. For a deep tissue massage, this massage isn't really very deep. Come on, rubby rubby. (Falsetto) Hello. We've been sitting here way too long. I like to keep moving. That way, nobody can track me down. Oh, we've already tracked you down. Anguilla's a long way to go for a massage, Kira. Anything you wanna share? Uh, plantain chips. They're loaded with antioxidants. How did you find us? Please. It was child's play. Yeah, this child. So you're the husband I've heard so much about. And you're the sister I've heard nothing good about. You look familiar. Oh, I know. You remind me of a guy I went to college with. That was a different time in a different world. How about we let Abby and Erica get reacquainted, and we'll explain everything to you guys outside. I still can't believe I found you. Took you long enough. It was so nice of you to take such an interest in me all these years Mother. What are you really doing here? Caring out my mission. Which is? Win KC's trust so she'd convince Kira to bring me to you. And now what? You intend to terminate your own mother? You don't wanna mess with me, baby girl, 'cause I am one bad mama. Bad? I'd say you're the worst. But you're a good spy, and the Other Side wants you reactivated. Dad says he needs you for one final mission. So he is alive. He's expecting you. We did good, Mom. You did good. Well, now looks like Mama's back. Rob, your name's on TV.