The Hero

What's Our Dad Good At...?



 * What happened to you? You look like a Florida grandma.


 * This, my ignorant friend, is a suntan. My dad just took me skiing. You've probably never heard of it. It's what rich people do.


 * My dad is rich -- in vitamin B6 and potassium. He's also a good source of fiber.


 * Well, my dad can beat rock.


 * Well, that's nothin'. My dad's so big that three mountain climbers got lost in his belly button.




 * What's your dad good at?


 * Hm... what's our dad good at? He's good at being nice.


 * No. More like a skill.


 * Is sweating without moving a skill?




 * How about...putting on weight? He's awesome at that.




 * He must be good at something.


 * I guess he's only good at being embarrassing.



Yeah, uh...like that time at the mall.




 * Ohh! Oh-oh-uh-ohh-ohh!  Ohh!  Oh-oh!  Uh-ohh-ohh!




 * Mother, I feel so sorry for this man's children.


 * Oh, don't worry, honey. It's very unlikely anyone like that would have children.




 * Yeah, or the time he came to school to talk about his job.




 * Ohh! Oh-oh!  Uh-ohh-ohh!




 * And you'd expect someone who eats that much would be way better at cooking.


 * Yeah, I chipped a tooth on one of his cupcakes.


 * Hah! What's he doing, using cement instead of flour?



Raw Dinner



 * Hey, Mom. What's for dinner?




 * Chicken and fries.


 * Hm... does this look a little underdone to you?


 * I think there's something wrong with my fries.


 * Can we just skip to dessert?




 * and : Aah!


 * What is wrong with you?!


 * You know very well what's wrong!




 * What's going on?! Why is dinner raw?


 * You know very well why dinner is raw!


 * I'm just gonna try something. We're both very sorry for what we've done.


 * So you do know what you've done!


 * and : No!


 * Then how can you apologize for something you don't even know about?!


 * I don't know!


 * Look, Dad overheard what you said in the playground.


 * Ohhh! That!


 * And he's been hiding in the shed ever since.


 * Well, at least he can't embarrass us in there.


 * Incoming!




 * Look, I'd happily apologize to Dad... if what we said wasn't the truth!


 * Right. That's it. You clearly don't appreciate your parents, so until you apologize to your father, we won't be doing anything else for you. Let's see how long you last.


 * Challenge accepted.




 * I paid for that potato.


 * I wasn't hungry anyway.

No Shower



 * Anais! Come on! You've been in there forever!




 * Oh, I'm sorry. But as Mom pays the water bill and you two are insensitive brats, I think you'll need to shower somewhere else.


 * As Mom pays the water bill, I think you should shower somewhere else.


 * You can say what you like, but you're not going to annoy me!


 * You can say what you like, but you're not going-- Ugh! My...nose!


 * Ow! My toast!


 * Who's the loser now? We got soap. All we need is water.




 * Dude, I think I'm starting to regret this challenge.


 * It's coming! Ugh. I think I should've closed my mou--

Rotten Meal



 * I can't believe we got all this stuff for a dollar! Thank you, clearance aisle.




 * Well, you heard what Larry said. We got to eat this stuff before it goes past its expiration date.


 * Oh, young Darwin, you're so gullible. Food doesn't have a sell-by date. That's what the corporations want you to think so you buy more oil and believe in moon landings, like the sheep you are. Take this banana. According to your "sell-by date," it should go bad today, but as you can see, it's absolutely fine. Dude, we need to eat this food real quick.


 * and : Aaaah!




 * Aah!




 * Daaah!




 * and : Aaah!




 * Well, this is all we have left. Things don't go off in cans, right?


 * What do you think is in it?


 * Please...let it be peaches in syrup.


 * I hope it's hot dogs.


 * As long as it's edible, I don't care. Aw, poor little thing.




 * and : Aaah!


 * Get it!




 * Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! ::

Ready to Apologize



 * So, you ready to apologize now?


 * Nope.


 * Uh, boys? I'm gonna have to ask you to get off the bus.


 * Why?


 * 'Cause the suspension can't take it anymore.




 * Okay, I guess I'm ready now. Ugh! I can't believe we're apologizing.


 * I don't care. I'm not eating canned rats again.

My Little Ones



 * I'm sorry, I know I said I would... I can't do this.




 * : I remember when you were still little, my little ones.


 * I was the giant who picked you up when you fell down.


 * And life was just one funny riddle, my little ones.


 * We laughed every day as the world went around.


 * I was the hero who taught you how to talk.


 * I was the hero who taught you how to walk.


 * And now you're no longer so little, my little ones.


 * You see so much more than I ever will see.


 * And though I'm just Dad and not a hero, my little ones.


 * Being just Dad's good enough for me.




 * I understand everything now. No, I don't. Yes, I do! No, I don't. What'd he say, again? Little one, I was the hero who taught you to walk, I was the hero who taught you to talk-- Hero! That's it! I need to make him feel like a hero again!

A Leap of Faith



 * Okay, so, where's the surprise?


 * He should be here any minute.


 * "He"? I thought there was gonna be a cake or something.


 * The surprise is gonna be better than a cake. I'm giving you... reconciliation with your father.


 * Oh, man. I should've known it was something lame like that. Nobody invites people to eat cake in a junkyard. Go on, tell me your plan, then.


 * It's simple. We get picked up by that magnet and get dropped into that crusher.




 * What?! Are you insane?!


 * And I've called Dad to come and rescue us.


 * What?! Are you insane?!


 * Don't worry. I can stop it at any time with this remote.


 * Ohh! I thought you were relying on Dad there for a minute. All right. Let's get started.




 * Oh, great job! What are we gonna do now?!


 * It's okay! There's Dad now! He can stop it from that control box!




 * I'm coming to save you!




 * Here we go. We're doomed.


 * No, wait! Have some faith in him!


 * Boys! Where are you?


 * Up here!


 * How am I supposed to get up there?!


 * Oh, I don't know. How 'bout you get us down using that ladder right there?!


 * Oh, yeah. Okay. Aah!


 * Wow. Really thought that one through, didn't ya?


 * Ohh!


 * What is wrong with you?! Don't you know people have feelings? He's trying to help us!


 * Well, great job he's doing so far.


 * You are so insensitive! Would it really hurt you to encourage him once in a while?


 * You can encourage a clam to read all you want, but that's not going to get it into college. People have limits, and Dad reached his own a long time ago.


 * Don't worry, kids! I have an idea!




 * and : Aaaaaaaaaaaah!


 * Aah! Ooh!




 * and : Oww!


 * I'm sorry! Aah!




 * Aah! That's what I meant to do!


 * Great job, Mr. Dad!


 * Thank you! Aaaah!




 * Yeah, great job. Do you want us to save you before you save us?




 * Ow!


 * Saving us in style, huh?

and : Aah!




 * Aaah!


 * and : Dad! No!


 * He's gone. And I was laughing at him. Why didn't I tell him that, in spite of everything, I was proud, Darwin? I was proud of him! If he were still here, I would tell him! If he was still here--  oh. You're here. So, what's your plan to get us down, huh?


 * Uh...


 * Typical.




 * Aah! Ooh!




 * Aaah!


 * Ugh! :: You could have tried to land on the mattress. Wait a minute. Where's Gumball?


 * He-e-e-lp!


 * Son! You can do it!


 * Aaah! Aah! Aah! I can't do this!


 * Gumball, you have to get up!


 * I-I--I-I can't!




 * Come on, son! You can do it!




 * I'm coming, Dad! Don't let me down!




 * I won't! Jump!




 * Please stop crying, Dad. You'll always be my hero.


 * It's not that. It's just you're digging your claws into my nipples!




 * Why are you crying, buddy?


 * Because I love hugs!


 * Come here!



Our Hero



 * Aw. I'm glad you guys made up. Come on. Dinner's ready.