Coach-a-Rooney

Everybody stop! - What? Is it just me, or is this table just a little bit wiggly? Huh. Oh! Sorry, I thought you were just realizing how ugly your sweater is. Well listen, if it is wiggly, your dad will fix it next time he's home from his coaching job. When Dad is away, I am the man of the house, and the man of the house is gonna fix this here table. I'm going in. What? So how is high school going for my newly-minted freshman? Well, astrophysics and organic chemistry are cinchy, but I have to do a dumb art project for my dumb art class. Well Parker, you're living with an artiste. Let me help you. Liv. Liv, honey, I mean, you have a lot on your plate with school and Voltage. Don't you think you might be overextending yourself? Well, I mean things are pretty hectic for me right now, but it's not like you have a free moment with Dad gone, Mom, and and, you know, I always make time for my little brother. Cool. Thanks, Liv. It's due Friday. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Easy. I can help you after work on Thursday. Oh! Guys? Guys, totally just found the wobbly leg, - so I'm gonna lift this side up - No, no No, no, no, no! Dang it! It it's still wobbly! Whoo! - Whoo! - Oh! - Bam! What?! - Wow! Girls, it is time to meet your new coach. Oh! She is a former high school basketball star and she is tough as nails. Oh, awesome! I cannot wait to meet her. Oh, actually, you already have. Hello, children. Mrs. Snodgrass?! It's Coach Snodgrass. Mrs. Snodgrass was our super mean teacher in sixth grade. She said I had attitude problems. You scream, "Bam! What?!" one time in a teacher's face during a spelling bee, and suddenly, you're labeled for life. All right. Form a line, children. I remember all of you from the sixth grade. Not fondly, I might add. Willow Cruz. The girl who could never master multiplying fractions. I am three-fourths sorry about that, Mrs. Snodgrass. Astrid Stanislowski. It's Stains now, Mrs. Snodgrass. Chew with your mouth closed, and maybe it won't be. And speaking of nicknames, it's Madison "Inappropriate Outburst" Rooney. That's me. Hey, Mrs. Snodgrass, um Okay, I don't mean for this to sound like an inappropriate outburst, but have you ever coached before? Sounds like someone still has attitude problems. Ooh Please take a seat in the attitude adjustment chair. No! She brought the chair! I'm having flashbacks, man! Hey! Okay, Andie Ooh! Is that a picture of Dump Truck in your locker?! Oh, and it's covering up a photo of a motorcycle! Things must be getting serious. - They are. - Oh! I am so super-happy hanging with the Dump. It is so different from hanging with Holden. I mean, you probably have more in common with Holden than I ever did. What do I have in common with Holden? Besides everything because we are meant to be together. Are you kidding me? You guys both like the same music, the same movies, the same books Liv you should totally go out with Holden! What? No! No. No. Look, see, 'cause, like, but what about the the the girl code, you know? I couldn't date my friend's ex. - The girl code? - Yeah. That's dumb. What about the friend code? You're my friend. - I want you to be happy. - Oh! If dating Holden makes you happy, then go for it. Ugh. I mean, I gotta think about it. Yeah Think, think, think. Thinking, thinking Holden! - Hi. - Hey, Liv. Do you need something? Yes. You. What? Holden, will you go out with me? Seriously? But but I I thought you said we couldn't date because you didn't want to hurt Andie. Well, I know, but actually, Andie's the one who told me to come over here and do this. It turns out she doesn't care about you, like, at all. So will you go out with me? Yes. Yes! No, I'll I'll absolutely go out with you. I don't want to wait another minute. - Come on! Let's go! - Okay! Oh, wait! No. Well, I mean, right now we have school. - What about tonight though? - I can't tonight. Tomorrow? - I'm working. - Uh, how about Thursday? Thursday should be wide open. Yes! Oh, this is so romantic! Whoa! No! This cannot happen! Oh, no, no, no. Andie said it was okay. Oh. Well, then yes. Willow, stop getting in the way of love! Oh! We're going to work on fundamentals. Let's start by lowering your center of gravity. You do that by opening your pelvic bowl. And we squat. Um so Coach Snodgrass, we're actually used to starting out with passing and dribbling skills, so And I'm used to children following instructions. For our next fundamental, smell your pits and turn away. Smell your pits and turn away. Smell your pits and turn away. All right, you know what? I'm team captain. I should say something. Hey, so Coach Snodgrass, um, can I have a word? I believe you meant to say, "May I have a word," but proceed. Um, so we are state champs, and we are ready for basketball practice with actual basketballs. Basketballs are for children who have mastered the fundamentals. Now, for our next drill, everybody grab a dead fish out of the bucket and put it under your chin. And Miss Rooney since you're team captain, you get two. What? Help me! This table doesn't wobble anymore. I needed tools to fix it, so I went to the hardware store. I go there now. Problem solved man-of-the-house style. Yeah, I wouldn't exactly call it solved. Just different. You're right. These chairs are much too tall. Hey. What's with the paintbrushes? Seriously? You walk into a room with a 14-inch table, and you're asking about paintbrushes? Joey said he needed to fix the table. You're honestly surprised? Good point. Yeah, the the paintbrushes are for my dumb art project, but I was hoping something other than Joey's munch-ness would come up to distract me. Sweet! It worked! Dad? Yes! - Sounds like somebody misses ol' Dad! - Are you kidding me? You calling at this exact moment is the greatest thing ever. Let's talk for hours. Wait. Hold on. I actually needed to talk to Dad. - Give me that. - Hey! You just Dad-blocked me! Hang on, kids. There's plenty of wisdom to go around. Okay, so Wha Whoa. Getting a little motion sickness here. You know what, Maddie?! You got me so riled up, I can't work on art anymore. - I hope you're happy! - Ha ha! Ugh. Dad, I am so glad that you called. I really need to talk to you. What's going on, Maddie? Mom hired Mrs. Snodgrass as our basketball coach, and she has us doing these stupid drills that have nothing to do with stupid basketball! Do you hear how mad I am? She just made me call basketball stupid. Maddie you're a great player, but no matter how good you get, you're never finished learning. Trust in the process. Do whatever your coach says. Everybody's got somethin' to teach you. Yeah, I know. I'm I'm I'm really trying, Dad. I just What happens when I go to practice on Monday and Snodgrass makes us do some Wow. Whoa. Oh. Hey, Dad! Hey, I'm havin' a little trouble startin' up this here Chainsaw. Gotta use the tablet to look up how to do it online. Buh-bye now! No, no, no, no, no. Hey, h hang on a second So tonight, we're actually going on our first date! Holden has it all planned out. We're gonna go on a horse-drawn carriage ride followed by a candlelit dinner at Van Snooten's. Ooh, Van Snooten's? Classy. Yeah, well, we really wanted to do it right. Um, I should get going. Oh! Heads up, the network scheduled an on-set fan meet-and-greet with their favorite superhero. Oh! Amazing! - I love meeting my fans. When is that? - Yeah. Right now. - It's right now? - Yeah. Right Oh, hello adorable fans who are here on date night. Um, welcome to the set of Voltage. Does anybody have any questions? Question one. In the comic books, Tess gets struck by lightning on a Thursday, but in the show, it's a Friday. Please explain. Ooh. Uh I don't really know the answer to that. Maybe because that's when football games happen? Uh-huh Question two. I really wanted to leave for date night, but these were my fans, and I was their superhero, and Skyvolt was not gonna let Dr. Questions defeat her. - Question 38. - Hm? In the comic books, your cape is 36 inches long. In the show, it appears to be Please explain. The camera adds two inches. Noted. Okay. Does anybody else have any questions? They don't. Question 39. Oh! Um, so sorry. Can you just give me one second? I'll be right back. Hey, Holden. It's date night! And I'm super excited! Um, I just I have a thing with some fans and then I do still have to help Parker afterwards, but then after that, I am all yours. Well, I mean, if it's easier, we could do something more low-key like pizza and a movie. You're so sweet. Um, but I I don't know. I sort of feel like that's a better, like, second date, you know? And and we've just been waiting so long for our first one, I don't want to ruin your amazing plans. We're still totally on for tonight. It just might have to be a little bit later. I'm so sorry. I'll talk to you soon. - Bye. - Okay. Bye. Okay. Where were we? Question 39. Remember, sight isn't everything. You have to be able to smell, hear, and taste the other team. Okay, I'm sorry. Coach Snodgrass, can we stop this nonsense and, like play actual basketball? Oh. Sounds to me like we have an insubordinate player who still has attitude problems. Well, it sounds to me like we have a coach who doesn't actually know how to play basketball. Is that what you think? Children, clear the court. You and I, Miss Madison Rooney, are goin' one on one. Oh. It's on. Whew. Hi. Sorry I'm so late. What happened to our table? Oh. Joey fixed it. Ugh. When are we gonna fix Joey? Let's, uh, let's get this art project done. Thanks. I really appreciate it. Oh, and while I was waiting, I got inspired. I have a pretty great idea for my art project. Ooh, yay! So, what do you need the artiste to do, huh? Watercolored flowers? Some decoupage? Stick your arms in these buckets. Okay. Blagh. Really wish I could say this is the strangest thing that you've had me do, but it is so not. Yeah, we've had some good times, Liv. So, this is incredibly unpleasant. Just be patient. Once these dry, I can use them as a mold to cast copies of your arms. Okay, well, how long until they're fully dry? I don't know. Probably five minutes. - Let me check the box. - Okay. Oh. "Five hours"? My bad. Five hours?! Parker, I have a date tonight! My advice, go big with the earrings so he doesn't notice the plaster on your arms. Parker! Ugh! Ugh. Ugh. Ooh! Oh! Ooh! Ooh! Okay. Contacts. Holden! Hey, Liv! Clap your hands if you're ready for the best first date ever! Yeah, so about that. Um Parker has encased me in plaster for the next five hours. I'm really sorry. Holden, I don't think I'm gonna be able to do this tonight. Please tell me you weren't, like, about to leave your house or something. No, not at all. Yeah, no. I was, um wrapping up some homework. Um, we can do this later. Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready to do this? Let's ball, Mad Dog. Offensive foul. Ball goes to Coach Snodgrass. Ugh! You just got pelvic bowled, young lady. If I can smell you, I can stop you. I can't see, girls. Is she crying yet? Hey, no way you're getting past me. I don't have to. The ball does. I just smell my pits and turn away. That's game. Coach Snodgrass wins. I'm flabbergasted, man. Wow. So, all of that stuff that I thought was so stupid really works. I have no idea what to say to you right now. I do. Bam! What?! Hey, um I'm sorry. I guess I'm just having a bit of a tough time adjusting to a new coach. Of course you are. Change is hard. Yeah. It is. Also, if we're being completely honest, I'm really, really missing my dad just 'cause he's kind of the only coach I have ever played for. I hear you, Maddie but I think you meant to say, "The only coach that for whom I've ever played". Think about where the preposition goes while you give me ten laps. Thanks, Coach. Coming! I'm coming! Coming! You know what? Just just come on in. Just Holden! Wow! You're, um really encased in plaster there, aren't ya? You know, for a second, I thought that you were coming up with a lot of weird ways to blow me off. Nope, this really is my life. But but why are you here? And why do you have a pizza? I mean, I know it's not the fancy date that we had planned, but any time that I get to spend with you is the most special time I can imagine. You're so - Oh! - Oh! I'm sorry! - Oh, I'm so sorry! - It's okay. Oh, I'm so sorry. - I'll hug you in, like, two to three hours. - Okay. - Okay. - Come on. - Okay. - Let's have our date. - Right. - May I take your plastery lump, my dear? - You may! - Okay. - All right, here we go. - Heavy, right? - Yep. It's not bad - I'm not crazy. No. We're fine. We're good. All right. You're such a gentleman. There we go. - Thanks. - Good? - Yeah. - Okay. This was totally worth the wait. Yeah. This is the best first-second date ever. Yeah. It is. - Pepperoni? - Yes, please! Parker, dinner's ready! Come to what's left of the table! But Mom, the table is totally level! Ha ha! You know, most boys would've just waited for their dad to come home, but no, not me. Oh, my special boy. So, what's next, you know? - What else can Papa Joe-Joe fix? - Nothing! I mean you have worked so, so hard already. Mom, I got an A on my art project using Liv's arms! Honey, that's great! What'd you make? Behold arm-rachnid! Oh. Why's it got a picture of Liv on the front? Oh, because she wouldn't let me plaster her head. Bam! What?!