The Panty Pinata Polarization


 * Penny: What was my first strike?
 * Sheldon Cooper: March 18. You violated my rule about e-mailing me Internet humor.
 * Penny: What?
 * Sheldon Cooper: That picture of a cat who wants to "haz cheezburger"?
 * Penny: But everyone loves LOLcats. They're cute, and they can't spell, because they're cats.


 * Sheldon Cooper: You can't do that. Not only is it in violation of California State law, it also flies in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy.
 * Penny: Well, there's a new policy: No shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon.
 * Howard Wolowitz: I bet we can sell that sign all over Pasadena.


 * Penny: [to Sheldon] Oh, honey, the buses don't go where you live, do they?


 * Penny: Oh, no, are all the machines taken? What are you gonna do?
 * Sheldon: No problem, I’ll just do my laundry another night.
 * Penny: Another night? Well, I guess you can try, but deep inside your heart you’ll know that laundry night is always Saturday night.
 * Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
 * Penny: Yeah, well, your "ken" can kiss my Barbie.


 * [The hallway scene where Penny (with her empty laundry basket) comes storming up the stairs to the guys apartment door. She is furious and she slams on the door three times with her hand]
 * Penny: [three bangs] Sheldon. [three bangs] Sheldon. [three bangs] Sheldon.
 * [Sheldon opens the door feeling guilty for a couple of seconds and Penny glares angrily at Sheldon for a few seconds. Sheldon now speaks innocently].
 * Sheldon: Yes?
 * Penny: [she's asking Sheldon crossly] Where are my clothes?
 * Sheldon: Your clothes?
 * Penny: [she's really cross about it] Yes, I left them in the washers and when I went down to get them, they were gone.
 * Sheldon: Really? Despite the sign that says “Do not leave laundry unattended”?
 * Penny: [she repeats the question loudly] Sheldon, where are my clothes?
 * Sheldon: [he walks a pace whilst Penny follows] You know, I do recall seeing some female undergarments. Where was that? [he stops walking for one second] Oh, yes, earlier this evening. [He walks Penny to the window] I happened to gaze out the window and a brassiere caught my eye. [he points to where he had put Penny's laundry] Do those look familiar?
 * Penny: [she's referring to her underwear] How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?
 * Sheldon: When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, mwah-ha-ha!
 * Penny: Get them down.
 * Sheldon: Apologize.
 * Penny: Never.
 * Sheldon: Well, then may I suggest you get a very long stick and play panty piñata. (Title Reference).
 * Penny: Look, wait, Sheldon, this has gotten out of hand, okay? I’ve done some stupid things, you’ve done some stupid things, how about we just call it even and move on with our lives?
 * Sheldon: I’ve done no stupid things.
 * Penny: Look, you’ve got to meet me halfway here.
 * Sheldon: I am meeting you halfway, I’m willing to concede that you’ve done some stupid things.
 * [Penny shrugs angrily at Sheldon just as Leonard has entered the room].


 * Sheldon Cooper: [in a computer message] Hello, puny insects. As a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, everyone is awarded one additional strike.
 * Leonard Hofstadter: Thanks a lot, Howard.
 * Howard Wolowitz: What are you complaining about? I'm the one who has to take the class again.


 * Penny: [after Leonard gives her Sheldon's "kryptonite", which makes even her uneasy] I know I said I wanted to hurt him, but this?
 * Leonard Hofstadter: It'll shorten the war by five years and save millions of lives.


 * Leonard Hofstadter: Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a super villain.
 * Penny: I don't care. I was in Junior Rodeo. I can hogtie and castrate him in sixty seconds.
 * Howard Wolowitz: No need to neuter the nerd, I can get you back online.


 * Penny: Leonard, remember when I said it was on? Well, now, it's Junior Rodeo on.
 * Leonard: Awww, not Junior Rodeo!!