Francine's Pilfered Paper


 * ''[first lines, the bell rings, then the farm animals get out]
 * Arthur: Thou hadst hasten thyself, good master Buster. School master Ratburn will be most irate if thou art tardy.
 * Brain: He will punish thee roundly.
 * Buster: In a moment, good neighbor Arthur. I canst but help look upon yon poor girl.
 * Brain: Nay, good master Buster, look naught upon the wretched thief, lest it ruin the taste of tommorow's Thanksgiving feast.
 * Buster: Wilst there be turkey, good master Brain?
 * Brain: Aye, an onion-garlic stew.
 * Buster: I couldst live without the stew, but the thought of turkey brightens my soul.
 * Muffy: 'Tis most sad that our dear friend will languish in yonder stockade while we sup. Couldst we not bring her a crust of bread?
 * Ratburn: Nay, good children. She hath committed the most egregious crime known to student and schoolmaster alike. [pointing to Francine] She must contemplate the error of her ways.
 * Francine: But I didn't even know it was wrong! I'll never do it again! Let me out! Let me out! [Pal barks, then licking Francine] Yech!
 * ''[the title card]
 * ''[cut to classroom]
 * Ratburn: Because it's Thanksgiving this Thursday, I have a surprise for you all.
 * Arthur: No homework?
 * Binky: Football tickets?
 * Buster: Pumpkin pie?
 * Ratburn: No, a five-page report due Monday, one week from today.
 * ''[they all groan]
 * Brain: Yay!
 * Arthur: That's a terrible surprise.
 * Ratburn: On the contrary. I think it will help you all appreciate the many facets of historical holiday. [gives the paper to Sue Ellen and Muffy] I have selected a unique topic for each of you to explore that I trust you will find most illuminating.
 * Muffy: "Pilgrim Fashion"? What fashion? They always wore black.
 * Brain: [looking at the paper] "Why do we celebrate Thanksgiving on the same day every year"? Aw, I was hoping for the sociopolitical repercussions of the Arminius/Gomarus conflict.
 * Binky: [to Brain] It's your lucky day. I'll trade you.
 * Francine: "Pilgrim cuisine"? Great, five pages about yams. I'm doomed.
 * ''[cut to the library]
 * Buster: Five pages? How will I ever write five pages? This must be what college is like. Except we still have to be in bed by 9:00 and can't drive.
 * ''[they all grunt while hitting Francine with the books falling]
 * Brain: Sorry, Francine. Wow, you have more books than even I take out.
 * Buster: Are you staring your own library?
 * Francine: They're for that Thanksgiving report. I couldn't find any one book that had all information I need.
 * ''[Brain picks an orange book]
 * Francine: I think I strained my back. I probably won't be able to play basketball all season.
 * Brain: I've got a better idea. Come on.
 * ''[they all go the computer lab]
 * Brain: [on computer] You can probably get most of the information you need off the Internet by using a search engine. Just type in what you're looking for. Pilgrim's diet. Then hit "search." You'll get more specific results if you put quotation marks around your search topic. [clicking "search"] Here's a list of some links that might be helpful.
 * ''[Francine grabs some paper]
 * Brain: Be careful, though. Some stuff on the Internet is inaccurate, so it's best to check your facts with other sources.
 * Francine: Thanks.