The Wedding (2)

Michelle: Last week, everything went bananas. We then get flashbacks to Episode 86 The Wedding Part 1, ending with Jesse being stuck in the tree.

We find Jesse still stuck in the tree. Jesse: Hey! Help! Help me! (sees a large truck of tomatoes) Hey, you with the tomato truck, stop! I'm up in the tree, up here! (A red haired man in overalls exits the truck.) Driver: Hey, what are you doing up there fella? Jesse: Oh, just enjoying the view. What do you think I'm doing? Can you help me down please? Driver: Well yeah, sure. I'll tell you what, I'll go get old man Hudson's cherry picker. Jesse: Alright. Well, hurry up! I was supposed to be at my wedding ten minutes ago! Thanks! Driver: I'd imagine we'll have you down in two, three hours tops. Now don't you go anywhere. Jesse: What!? I can't wait that long! (He tries to shake himself loose. The parachute breaks) Mercy! (lands in the back of the tomato truck) Driver: What are you doing? (Jesse spits out some tomato juice) Those are my prize tomatoes you just squashed! Jesse: Well, they're not tomatoes anymore, they're ketchup. I just cut out the middleman. Driver: Is that... is that some sort of tomato joke? You better watch your mouth boy! This here's tomato country! Jesse: Look, I have nothing but the highest regard for tomatoes and the men and women that do grow them. But I need a ride to San Francisco right now! Driver: I don't give rides to tomato squashers! Jesse: Hey Red, this is my life we are talking about here, not some dumb vegetable! Driver: It's a fruit! Jesse: Fruit, vegetable... Look, the point is, I like you Red, and... and I like tomatoes, a lot, believe me. And I like your red hair, and you know what, I like your truck. And I'm going to borrow it, and I'll get it right back to you (gets in the truck and closes the door). Driver: Hey, get back here! Open that door! (Jesse starts the engine) Hey, hold it! (a police car drives up to the scene)! Cousin Harold (the officer gets out of the car) Cousin Harold, that boy just smashed every one of my tomatoes! Harold: Smashed your tomatoes? Driver: Yeah, he's trespassing on my property, and now he's trying to steal my truck! Harold: (walks to the truck with a bull horn) Get out of that truck! Put your hands up now! (Jesse exits the truck) Jesse: Hi guys. Listen, you guys are making a big mistake here. Look, I'm just... I'm late for my wedding. See, look at this, I've got my tuxedo on and everything. See? Harold: Well, here's a bracelet to go with it (slaps the cuffs on Jesse). Jesse: Wait a minute guys... guys, you're making a big mistake here. Harold: No, you made the mistake. Driver: (bull horn) Do you know where you landed? Jesse: Tomato country?

At the church, Stephanie stands in front of the video camera. Stephanie: The Making of a Wedding, the saga continues. The groom is now 25 minutes late, and here's the man who let him jump out of a plane on his wedding day, Joey Gladstone. Joey, how do you feel right now? Joey: Sad, hurt, angry, bitter, scared, used, and I'm pretty hungry. I forgot to eat breakfast. Stephanie: Poor Joey, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. (walks to Becky and her parents) And here's Becky with her loving family. Any words for Uncle Jesse? Becky: (in tears) Darling, I just hoe you are alright, but if you are alright, I'll kill you. Danny is on the phone outside the main hall with Howie and Michelle. Michelle: Daddy, where's Uncle Jesse? Danny: (to the phone) Hold on please. (to Michelle) Honey, that's what I'm trying to find out. Howie: When are you going to find out? Danny: When I find out, Howie. Michelle: Did you find out yet? Danny: Kids, if you don't stop this, I'm going to turn this wedding around and drive right home. Michelle: Daddy you need a nap. Danny: Yes... Please call me if you hear anything. ... Yes sir, and I'll try to squeeze in that nap. Michelle: Daddy, is it time for the wedding cake? Danny: Michelle, we can't have cake until we have a party, and we can't have a party until we have a wedding. (leaves) Michelle: Howie, will you marry me? Howie: Why? Michelle: So we could eat wedding cake. Howie: Is it chocolate cake? Michelle: Who cares? It's this big (motions with her hands), and it's got frosting. The phone rings and Danny picks up. Becky enters behind him. Danny: (to the phone) Hello. (to the family) It's Jesse. (to the phone) Jesse, tell me where... Becky: Let me talk to him! (Danny hands Becky the phone.) (to the phone) Are you okay? (to the family) He's okay. (to the phone) What? ... Well, stay right where you are (hangs up the phone)! Danny, Joey don't let any of the guests leave! I'm coming back and we're going to have a wedding! Dad, I need your car keys and your wallet now! Kenneth: But honey... Nedrah: She said now! Kenneth: Yes dear. Connie: Becky, where are you going? Becky: To tomato country to bail my groom out of jail (leaves the church)! Michelle: She'd better hurry, she's going to miss the wedding! Danny: and Joey reenter the main hall, Kimmy walks up to them. Kimmy: This crowd is getting restless. You guys better lock the exits. Danny: (whispering to Joey) Joey, we have to tell these people something! Joey: We can't tell them the truth. Danny: But I can't lie in church. Joey: Well, neither can I. We'll take them out to the parking lot and lie to them there. Danny: That is a dumb idea. Jesse:'s parents walk up to them. Nick: What's up? Irene: Where's my baby? Danny: Oh... well, the truth is your son... (notices all the guests staring at him) Would everybody like to accompany me to the parking lot? (The guests start to leave) Kimmy: I know why Jesse is late! He's in the slammer! Danny: You can all sit down now.

At the police station, Jesse stands behind a jail cell. Jesse: Look, you've got to let me out of here man! I'm getting married right now! Why don't you believe me? Officer: (eating a tomato) Because nobody jumps out of a plane on there wedding day. Becky: enters Becky: Jesse! Jesse: Told you. Hi honey! Becky: (fake smile) Hello darling. Jesse: You look mad. Are you mad? Becky: (fake smile) Uh-huh. Jesse: You're so cute when you're mad, and right now you're about the cutest I've ever seen you. Becky: Jesse, are you insane? How could you do this on our wedding day? Jesse: Actually, this is really funny. You're going to laugh... okay maybe you won't laugh. No you're not laughing. See, I had this long talk with your dad, and he talked about settling down and being responsible, and I... I just had to go out and get this one last adventure. Becky: What do you mean 'one last adventure'? Jesse, the adventure is just beginning, for both of us. Sharing our lives, and having a family. And hey, if you want to jump out of a plane, just let me know. I'll strap on a chute, I'll be right there next to you. The point is, whatever the adventure, let's do it together. Jesse: Darling, you're the best (they kiss). Officer: (still eating a tomato) This is beautiful. I'm dropping all the charges. Jesse: Really, you're going to let me out of here? Officer: Yeah I am, it's Valentine's Day. (opens the cell) There you go, just call me cupid. Becky: Everybody's waiting, we can still make it. Officer: Hey, hey, hey, hey wait a minute. I've got a little wedding present for you. (hands Becky a basket of tomatoes) Becky: Oh thanks, but I don't really like toma... (Jesse covers her mouth). Jesse: She loves tomatoes. They're her favorite fruit. Becky: I thought they were a vegetable. Jesse: Just go. (they leave the station) Officer: Nice kids. They arrive at the street to see Becky's father's car being towed away. Becky: Hey! Jesse: Woah! Hold up! Becky: My father's car! Jesse: Hey! We've got to get to our wedding! Becky: You can't do this to me! I'm a bride! Jesse: And I'm a groom! (they run down the street yelling for the truck to stop) Becky: Oh, I'm never going to catch that tow truck in these heels. Jesse: There's a bus! Jesse + Becky: Hey, Stop! Stop the bus! (they run into the street to flag down the bus) Becky: We need a ride to San Francisco. Bus driver: Sorry, we're really not going that way. Becky: (panicked) But my wedding, we're late! He jumped out of a plane! Jail, my father's car, I hate tomatoes! Bus driver: Wait aren't you on Wake Up San Francisco? Becky: Yes, I am. Hi, I'm Rebecca Donaldson, and this is my fiance Jesse Katsopolis. Bus driver: Well, hop on. Becky: Oh great! Thank you! Jesse: Thank you, we really appreciate this! (there is a church quire sitting behind them) Quire: Hi. Becky: Okay, you go out to the high way, you turn left. Then you... Why don't I just drive? Bus driver: Hey, it's your wedding day. Jesse: You're going to drive the bus? Becky: You had your adventure, now I am going to have mine. Jesse: Hi everybody. Quire: Hi. Jesse: Hit it.

Back at the church, Danny is leading a sing along with the guests. Danny: Okay, just the bride's side. Danny + Bride's family: You say pa-jaw-mas, you say pa-JAM-as. You say Ba-ha-mas, you say Ba-HAM-as. Outside the bus with a singing quire pulls up to the church. Jesse: Alright, too much! Jesse + Becky: Thank you! Thank you! Jesse: We can still make it! Inside the church:All Ba-ha-mas, Ba-HAM-as, let's call the whole thing... Michelle: enters from outside the main hall. Michelle: Stop the music! Stop the music! Stop the music! Stop the music! Uncle Jesse is here. Stephanie: (with camera) Are you sure, Michelle? Michelle: I know what he looks like he's my uncle! DJ: enters the room. DJ: Uncle Jesse and Becky are back. We're going to start the wedding. (a mass of cheers rises from the guests). Michelle: I just said that. Maybe when I'm five people will listen.

The wedding begins Jesse: Hi! Hi everyone, sorry I'm late! Hi, hi! I was caught in a tree. Well actually, I was caught in a tree... nice suit. Hi mom. Irene: Hi. Jesse: Hello father... woah. (to the violin players) Hit it. They start playing, Michelle enters and starts walking down the aisle and throwing flowers. She gets about half way... Michelle: Stop the wedding! Danny: What's the matter honey? Michelle: I ran out of flowers, I'm sorry (starts picking up some of the flowers). Danny: Sweetheart, it's not your fault you ran out of flowers. The problem is the church, it's much too long. Isn't she terrific everybody? (the guests clap) Michelle: I did the best I could. They start playing Here Comes the Bride, Becky walks down the aisle to her father. Preacher: Who gives this woman to this man? Kenneth: Her mother and I do. Becky: (Jesse takes Becky's arm, Kenneth won't let her move) Dad, let go. Preacher: Dearly beloved, we've waited a long time for this happy occasion. (to Jesse) A very long time. May I have the rings please? (Danny, Joey, and Becky's maid of honor hand the rings to the preacher). Thank you, thank you, and thank you. Joey: Your welcome. Danny: And you're welcome. Preacher: Jesse, place this ring on Rebecca's finger, and say 'with this ring, I be wed.' Jesse: With this ring, I be wed. Preacher: Rebecca, place this ring on Jesse's finger, and say 'with this ring, I be wed.' Becky: With this ring, I be wed. Preacher: At this time, Jesse would like to pledge his love for Rebecca with music. Jesse: (takes a seat at the piano.) If every word I said, could make you laugh, I'd talk forever. I asked the sky just what we had, It showed forever. If the song I sing to you, could fill your heart with joy, I'd sing forever. Chorus:Forever..... Forever..... Jesse:I've been so happy loving you... Chorus:baby let me sing forever, I wanna be loved forever (2x) Jesse:Let the love I have for you, live in your heart, and be forever Chorus:Forever..... Forever..... Jesse:I've been so happy loving you...If every word I said, could make you laugh,I'd talk forever Chorus:Forever..... Forever..... Jesse:I'll be so happy loving you... The guests clap Preacher: May your life be filled with harmony forever. Rebecca, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live? Becky: I do. Preacher: Jesse, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live. Jesse: I do. Preacher: I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may... go on kissing the bride. The group leaves the church to a loud chorus of Halaylooya. At the Tanner house, Danny is handing out coasters to the guests Danny: Excuse me, excuse me. Hi, groom was late, lost the hall. Have a coaster. DJ: enters the kitchen, Michelle is staring at the cake. DJ: Hey you. Michelle: Just looking. DJ: Yeah, just looking for a good spot to dive in. Try some pate. (she hands her a cracker with some pate) Well, what do you think? Michelle: Excuse me while I go spit.

In the living room, Joey and Danny stand at the top of the stairs. Joey: A toast! (the guests cheer) You know, one of the joys of friendship is the happiness you feel when you know how happy your friends are, and I out think we all know how happy Jesse and Becky are. Seeing those two wacky nuts (through tears) so happy... Danny, take it. I'm too happy. Danny: Oh Joey, you big softy. You know, as I look at all of you happy, smiling people with your glasses raised, I can't help but think there are so many of you and so few coasters to go around. So share those coasters... Jesse: Hey, while we're young! (the guests start complaining) Danny: Oh, there's a lot of love in this room. To Jesse and Rebecca, may you have a wonderful life together I love you guys. (the guests cheer) Jesse: Thank you. Thank you everyone. DJ enters from the kitchen. DJ: Attention everyone, attention! It's time for the first dance by the bride and the groom, my Uncle Jesse and my new Aunt Becky. Stephanie: Okay people, move it, move it, move it. Move it or lose it. Come on, these people have to have room to dance now. Come on. Okay, come on. Hurry it up, I don't know how long I can hold these people. Jesse: Alright. Well, as our wedding song, naturally I wanted my favorite song Jailhouse Rock. Becky: But I wanted a romantic ballad. Jesse: So as the first of very many, many, many, many, many, many compromises as husband and wife, we came up with a little thing. It goes something like this. I hope you all enjoy it. (the music starts in the background, Jesse starts singing slowly) Warden threw a party in the county jail. The prison band was there, they began to wail. The band was jumping and the joint began to swing... Becky: Oh that's sweet, now let's rock! Jesse: starts singing the real Jailhouse Rock. We end with scenes of the family dancing and cutting the cake, DJ catching the bridal bouquet, Michelle catching the guarder, and Jesse and Becky driving away on Jesse's motorcycle.


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