K.C. Under Construction

1 Previously There's KC. I knew she believed in me. I'm gonna thank her for recommending me to be a spy. She never recommended you. She can't know that you're a spy and I'm your handler. We think that KC might be giving intel to the Other Side. Your mission is to get her to talk. I have a last-minute mission in Mexico, so I gotta go pack my gear. Let me help you, and you can tell me all about it. - You'd do that? - What are best friends for? Marisa's on board. Doesn't suspect a thing. Uh, excuse me, sir. Have you seen KC? Marisa, it's me. Oh, wow. I knew you were a little self-conscious about that pimple, but isn't that mask a little much? I got a mission on a construction site, so I'm practicing welding. Oh, can I try? No, no. Marisa, you and fire, they don't really mix. Let's not forget the Easy Cake oven incident of 2007. And 2008. And last week. Oh, that reminds me. I forgot my phone. I'll be right back. What part of that reminded you of your phone? Oh, oh, probably because I had to call the fire department, and the ambulance. Oh, yes, and the insurance company. Brady, it's Marisa. (Sing-song) Somebody has a new mission! Oh, right. Sorry. (Clears throat) I just received intel that KC has a new (Sing-song) miss Sorry, I'll work on that. Oh, when danger comes for you You know I'll stand beside you 'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire Don't tell nobody, tell nobody I'm not perfect So many things I wanna tell you But I, I, I, I keep it undercover Livin' my life, on red alert Doin' my thing, gonna make it work Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless But I always got your back Nobody can do it like I can I gotta find out who I am Ain't got to worry about me It's all part of the plan I keep it undercover. I keep it undercover. Okay, uh, I did it, I made it up here. Way up here. I'm talkin' a bird just flew under me. Across the south side of the building, you'll see Reigns Tower. We have intel that a new renegade spy group is meeting on the 42nd floor. Oh, wow, I can't believe what I'm seeing. - You found them already? - No. There's a new vegan spot open on M Street. Oh! Tofu Tuesdays. - KC. - Sorry, sir. I got eyes on 'em. Our informant says they're brainstorming some new form of weaponized technology. Wait a minute. Wouldn't it just be easier for me to be on the 41st floor of that building? Or the 43rd floor of that building? Or any floor in that building? Or any building with floors? Their building is impenetrable. We've already had three agents try to get in, all three failed. So what I'm hearing is I'm your fourth choice. Fifth. Ramirez is on vacation. Ho ho ho! Look here, fellas. It's the new guy. Showed up for work early, huh, new guy? I think the new guy's trying to make us look bad. Is it just my imagination, or do you keep using the word guy, when you can clearly see that I'm a woman? My name is Lisa, and you are? Roy, and I'm real sorry. I hope I didn't offend you too badly. No, you offended me very well. Almost as though you've had some practice at it. (Laughs) Oops. Sorry, new guy. (Derisive laughter) Hey, is it just me, or are those guys a bunch of Sexist pigs. I was gonna go with knuckle-dragging cavemen, but you've known 'em longer. Don't worry, in a couple of days, they'll get tired of messing with you, and it'll get better. So they'll drop the misogynistic attitude? No, they'll just stop talking to you. They haven't said a word to me in three years. And you're okay with that? Sure. I'm all about peace and quiet. (Tool buzzing loudly) Are you sure you chose the right profession? Are you sure you It fell out last night. And my mom said to put my tooth under my pillow, and this time, the tooth fairy left me five dollars. (All exclaiming) Ha! What's so funny, Judy? The tooth fairy? Please. She's just a puppet of capitalist society. No, she's a nice lady. So you're fine with someone breaking into your house, and taking your teeth, just as long as she leaves you a few bucks? I mean, what if she broke in and took your laptop? - Why would she do that? - Who's gonna stop her? You're out cold. (Crying) We're going to have another one of those meetings in the principal's office where she yells at me, aren't we? Don't worry, I know the way. All the construction workers instantly disliked me, and not because I accidentally dropped the bathroom key off the side of the building, but because I'm a woman. Maybe they're just jealous because you still have all of your original fingers. Okay, look. All I'm saying is, it's 2017. Did they not get the memo that men and women are equals? - Hey, Marisa. - Hey. I had such a great time last night. You actually made studying fun. At least until we got kicked out of the library for laughing about Lake Titicaca. Oh, good. It's the largest lake in South America. I don't really see how that's funny. Let's see. Tall, overly serious, doesn't get the joke; you must be KC. Cute, condescending, not really looking to kiss up to Marisa's best friend. You must be clueless I mean, uh, Brady. All right, I take it back. You are funny. Are we still meeting up after school? Earlier, if I can convince Mr. Garcia that my gall bladder needs to come out. For the third time? Dang. Your gall bladder gets taken out more often than I do. Wow, you really are funny. I wasn't joking that time. See you guys later. Bye. So what's up with this Brady guy? He's just a friend. Really? 'Cause you went to the library for this guy. Now you're hanging out after school. Somebody's got a new boyfriend. Uh, no, somebody's got a boy who's a friend. Marisa, I am the only friend that you've ever had that you've never kissed. KC, just a second ago, you were complaining about being treated differently because you're a woman. Now you're doing the exact same thing to me. How am I doing that? You assume that guys can be friends with girls, but this girl can't be friends with guys. Very true. You know what, you're right. I'm sorry. Could you please tell me what's so funny about Lake Titicaca Oh! Ha ha! I get it now. It's funny. What a day. I hate humans! We're not so crazy about you either. I actually got a lecture by my teacher from taking a stand against the tooth fairy. I know. The Organization already called about it. They want you to be more kid-friendly. They think you'll blow your cover if you're too sophisticated. Sophisticated? How ridiculous is that? As William Shakespeare said, "Lord, what fools these mortals be. " Yeah, I don't know why they think you're too sophisticated. All ten-year-olds quote Shakespeare. They assigned you a youth expert to teach you how to be more immature. Seriously? Some sap is gonna come over here and dumb me down? Already here. Ernie Cooper, immaturity expert. Building you up by dumbing you down. Well, I'm in good hands, because I feel dumber already. Oh, no, this is a disaster. What are those renegades doing? No, the vegan place is being shut down. The neighborhood didn't even give it a chance. Wait a minute. - I'm getting some chatter. - What are they talking about? They made a device that literally melts your brain. They're calling it a sonic brain imploder. All right, everybody, that's an hour for lunch. (Men laughing) Oh, looks like you could use some iron in your diet, new lady co-worker. See, I didn't call you guy that time. Right? - Hey. - JOHNSON: Let it go. You think you're such a big tough guy? Listen here, tough guy. It turns out, you messed with the wrong girl. - Hey. - Let it go. - What's going on here? - I have no idea. I was minding my own business, and Lisa comes over and attacks me, even though I have been nothing but nice and supportive to her, right, guys? That is not what happened at all. Tell them, Crystal. Whoa. Leave me out of this. KC, let it go. Apologize to Roy, or you're fired. If you think, in a million years, I would apologize to Roy KC, don't blow the mission. Then you are 100% correct. Sorry, Roy. What was that again? I didn't quite hear you. I said I'm sorry, Roy. One more time, but with some feeling. I said I'm sorry, Roy. Since it will make for a more productive and harmonious workplace, I will be the bigger man and accept your apology. Hm. All right then. He's lucky the foreman was around, or his butt would've been accepting my boot. Marisa, you're doing such a great job. Thanks. Eating spaghetti can be pretty tricky. But if you chop it up and use a spoon, there is zero mess, and it is like eating noodle cereal. How fun is that? Anyway, uh I need you to pump KC for more details about this construction mission, like where exactly is it, and what is she looking for. Fine, as long as she lays off the attitude. Uh, what attitude? She's been teasing me about us being boyfriend and girlfriend. Ha. Actually, maybe we should be posing as boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah, I don't mean to back you up into the friend zone, but, uh beep, beep, beep. We do spend a lot of time together, and it would be a better cover. Yeah, I just made this huge point to KC about how guys and girls can just be friends, so it would just Well, you do still wanna be part of the Organization, right? Well, yeah, of course. Then please stop questioning everything I tell you and just follow orders. Yes, sir. Well, you don't have to be so formal about it. You're my girlfriend. Just call me bae. You should know that I'm ordering two desserts, and, um, you're paying bae. If you're gonna continue to pass for a child, you need to act like one. Now what's the most childish thing you can do? Mmm pee in a pool. Gross first guess. But no. It's throwing a tantrum. Ernie, why would I throw a tantrum when I can simply outwit my opponent, and debase him using logic? - It's what kids do. - Well, I'm not doing it. - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. I am the coach, and you have to do what I say. - No, I don't. - Yes, you do. No, I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't! No, I don't! Okay. Good first lesson. Why don't you put the chair down, preferably not on my head, and we'll resume later. Excuse me, Roy, yeah. Is there any reason why you gave everyone else a job and not me, because I can do anything a guy can do. Okay, and before you say it, yes, I can write my name in the snow. All I need is a big iced tea and about ten minutes. Relax, Lisa. I know you're capable. That's why I saved the most important job for you. Really? Okay. Bring it on. I need you to hold this beam while I bolt it down. Yeah, no problem. All right. Here we go. - You got it? - Yep. - Hold on tight now. - Okay. There you go. All right. Now where did I put that drill? Uh, Roy? This beam's getting a little heavy. Fortunately, you can do anything a guy can do, right? You know what, I just remembered, I don't own a drill. I should buy one. Oh, they got you holding the beam. Another week or so, and they'll ignore you completely. You're on your way, new girl. Thank you. Thanks. Hey, quick question. Is there any reason why you didn't have my back the other day? It's bad enough the guys here treat us like dirt. - We could at least support each other. - Why? Because we're both women. You know the problem with your generation? People in your generation keep telling people in my generation there's something wrong with it? My point is, your whole life, you've been told that girls can do anything, and we're all equal, but guess what, in the real world, it doesn't always work that way. Said the female construction worker. I don't know anybody's grandma who had that job. That right there is called progress. That's what happens when women support each other. So do you think maybe next time, - you could have my back? - No. But you can have mine. That is not what I meant, and you know it. I mean, not only is this mission crushing my spirit, it's crushing my arms. I can't even eat my applesauce. Oh, I am so sorry. You know what, I am here for you. Think of me as your sounding board. So, tell me more about this mission. Well, I mean, this guy Roy And where is this construction site? It's downtown. Anyway, he's just And what is the exact cross streets? K and Constitution. Why do you care? I totally don't. Oh, but just out of curiosity, what is the point of this mission? Something about sonic weaponry. - Anyway, they're so - Oh, gotta go. I thought you were supposed to be my "sounding board. " Where are you going? Just to see my boyfriend Brady. - Uh, your what? - I'm sorry, what? Did you just say your boyfriend Brady? Yeah, so Oh, hey. Did you see this cute necklace he got me? Okay. What exactly are we doing here, because I specifically remember you making a huge deal out of the fact that I assumed Brady was your boyfriend, and now, you're just gonna casually mention it, - and hope I don't notice. - Wow, you would think that my best friend would be happy about my new relationship, but no. I'm just gonna pretend this conversation never happened. Well, you did a great job pretending the last one didn't happen, so it shouldn't be too tough for ya. Thus concludes one of the most important lessons on childlike behavior. Now let's see how much you've retained. Fine. Quiz me. Classic fart. (Makes fart noise) - Horn fart. - (Makes horn fart noise) - Whisper fart. - (Makes whisper fart noise) - Scoot and poot. - (Rhythmic farting noises) Beautiful, Judy. Beautiful. Oh, I'm not done yet. I have an extra one just for you. Silent but deadly. Never been prouder. She's investigating something to do with sonic weapons. Well done, Marisa. - You are turning into quite the spy. - Thank you. Oh, and thank you so much for getting me that bracelet - to go with this necklace. - I never got you a bracelet. Actually, you did. I, uh, borrowed your credit card. Turns out I'm quite the spy. Hey, bad news. The Organization is on to us. KC Cooper is listening in from the construction site next door. They know about the sonic imploder. We got no choice. Eliminate her. One for work and one for me. Huh. Cheddar. Hey, what are you doing over there? Nothing. Don't worry about it. Really? Well, it's kinda my job to worry about it. I'm only gonna ask you this one time. What is that thing? It's a sonic brain imploder. When that timer reaches zero, it's gonna melt your brain. Roy, you need to block the elevator, okay? You cannot let him escape. He just put in a sonic brain imploder. Whatever that is, it's not my problem. He's also stealing your lunch. My lunch?! You piece of garbage! Hey! Yeah, you're on your own. - Come on, back up. - Okay, okay. Back. Let's go, keep going. - Back up. - Okay. I mean, come on, man. We can work this out, right? I agree. Have a good trip. I wish you a happy life. All four minutes you got left. Tell me how to defuse it. Believe me, now that I'm stuck here with you, I'd very much like to help you, but I'm a planter, not a defuser. You, uh, you got everything under control there, right? Yeah, don't worry, Roy. This is a brain imploder. It shouldn't affect you. (Nervous laughter) Okay. What's wrong with the elevator? Crystal, you gotta get outta here. - This thing could blow at any time. - What are you gonna do with that, just throw it over the side of the building? And melt everyone's brain down in the street? - It's an option. - No, it's not! I gotta find a way to stop this thing from detonating. I can help. Give it to me. This is dangerous stuff. Take a walk, honey. Shut your pie hole, Roy! Before I was in construction, I was in demolition. - Bring it over here. - Okay. What good is that gonna do? It can't hurt us if it's encased in concrete. That's right, the sound waves will never penetrate the mix. Are you sure about that? Well, I am now. - Crystal, you did it. - No, we did it. Thank you so much for having my back. Sorry I didn't have it earlier. You were right. You guys are great. I mean, girls. I mean, people. So Roy. Uh-oh. I'm assuming you're gonna be a bit more respectful to the women you work with from now on. Yes, I'll be more respectful. I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that. I said I'll be more respectful. Mm, one more time, with a little bit of feeling. Yes, I'll be more respectful! Now you're gonna cut me outta this cage, yeah? You are a smart, independent man. I'm sure you'll figure it out. Rob, your name's on TV.