Blackout!

(At Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated at night)

Doofenshmirtz: (He laughs evilly) I got you now, Perry the Platypus! This is the most sophisticated trap that I have ever invented.(Chamber shows Agent P trapped) In fact, it's so escape-proof that- that I couldn't get that guy out.

(Chamber shows a skeleton in it) Doofenshmirtz: So, I had to build a whole new trap to catch you. And of course, I had to buy a new plastic skeleton for Halloween. It's a pitiful existence I lead, Perry the Platypus. Do- Do you pity me? You should because I am pitiable. Everyone should pity me. Eh, you don't have to say pity too many times before it stops sounding like a word. Pity. Pity. Pit- See? That is only like two times and it's already just gobbledygook. Gobbledygook, too. I can't- I can't even get through that once. Gobbledy- Now see, I am not even consider the last syllable and it's already... (sighs) Great. Now, I am forgetting what I was talking about... Which is another reason to pity me! YEAH! Back on topic, baby! You see, I- I figured if I get myself big sad eyes, people would pity me and get me whatever I want. And to that end, behold! The Big-Sad-Eye-inator! You like it? It sums up a lot of juice, so I am running at night when the electricity is cheaper.

(Agent P struggles to free from the the trap)

Doofenshmirtz: But the nighttime is the right time for a party. A PITY PARTY! (He laughs) Here we go!

(Doofenshmirtz pulls lever of -inator, it begins to power up)

(Candace. Phineas. and Ferb are all sitting on the couch in their living room)

Candace: (On the phone) Don't worry about a thing Mom everything's under control.

Linda: (In the car with Lawrence) Thanks Candace. It's been too long since your father and I had a date night.

Lawrence: Thirteen days, twenty-two hours, and seventeen minutes.

Linda: How do you know that?

Lawrence: I've got an app on my phone.

Candace: Don't worry about us, bye. (She hangs up) Parents are weird.

Phineas: Yes, yes they are.

Doofenshmirtz: It takes a while to get warmed up, but we're almost there.

(The -inator shoots Doofenshmirtz, but draws enough power to plunge Danville into a blackout)

Doofenshmirtz: See I told you it took up a lot of juice.

(the lights in the Flynn-Fletcher household's living room go out)

Candace: What happened?

Phineas: I think we blew a fuse.

Candace: Don't get all technical on me, just fix it.

Phineas: Relax Candace, Ferb and I'll check the fuse box. In the mean time you go find a flashlight.

Candace: Okay. Find a flashlight, find a flashlight.

Phineas: Hey Ferb, isn't it cool how you can still see people's eyes in -- (doesn't see Ferb) Ferb? Where'd you go?

(Ferb opens his eyes)

Phineas: Oh-ho! You prankster.

Candace: I know we have a flashlight in here somewhere. (begins feeling around in a drawer) Oh, okay, that's a stapler, Oh! Scissors. And, what is this, an old banana? Eww. What happened to all the flashlights? Ah-ha! (The flashlight flickers out) Darn, the batteries are dying. I better conserve them. Phineas? Ferb? (trips) Oh who leaves a chair right next to a table?

(Outside...)

Phineas: Looks like the whole town's in a blackout.

Buford: What'cha dooooin'?

Phineas: Isabella? Your voice sounds horrible.

Buford: Fooled ya'! It's me, Buford! And my voice isn't horrible, it's raspy! You gotta spend hours screamin' in the closet to get it like this. Hours!

Isabella: Hey Phineas, what'cha dooooin'?

Phineas: There's the original. I'm glad your here Isabella. Ferb and I are working on something that will give us all the best blackout ever!

Baljeet: Can I help?

Phineas: Sure you can Baljeet.

Buford: Hey Baljeet.

Baljeet: Hey Buford, your voice is so raspy. It sounds as if sandpaper and a washboard had a baby.

Buford: See, closet time's paying off.

Phineas: Okay guys let's get to work. (they start to work, Candace arrives)

Candace: Hey, hold it right there. Who else is back here? Roll call.

Phineas: Well there's Ferb, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet and me. Oh, and there's that kid in the corner with the eyepatch.

Kid with Eyepatch: (spookly) But is it my left eye, or my right eye? You don't know.

Candace: (On the phone) Hi Mom, yeah we're okay. In fact I was just about to call you. I can't see what Phineas and Ferb are making but I'm sure it's bustable.

Linda: Well, it'll have to wait. Traffic lights are out all over the city. Of course you know I'd like nothing better than to give up my special time with your father, to run home and not see what they may, or may not have done.

Lawrence: I can't remember were you always this sarcastic?

Linda: Shh.

Candace: They're using a wench Mom. They're making something huge, and (Candace trips and loses her phone, to a mechanical buzzing)

Buford: Candace found the wood chipper guys.

Candace: My phone!

Linda: Oh, we got disconnected. Now who's going to grate on my nerves all night?

Lawrence: Oh, so you have always been this sarcastic.

Linda: Oh that's right, it's going to be you.

Lawrence: You betcha, Duckie.

Candace: One way or another, I'm going to see what all you eyeballs are making back here.

Phineas: Sure, I want everyone to see, including Perry. Hey, where's Perry?

Doofenshmirtz isn't illuminated!

(Doofenshmirtz's eyes are bigger and have a sad look due to the effects of the Big-Sad-Eye-inator)

Doofenshmirtz: A blackout? Oh, Perry the Platypus isn't this wonderful? Now people can't see anything but my pitiful eyes. Look at them, Perry the Platypus, don't you feel sorry for me? Don't my sad, lugubrious eyes illicit compassion and mercy? (He pauses) Your secret agent training has taught you to squint well my nemesis. But you can't fight the power of these pathetic, pleading eyes. I guess you can, 'cause you're heartless Perry the Platypus. You know that? Where you're heart should be, a big empty sack of nothing. But the common man will not be able to. I'm going to go find someone on the street and test these babies out. And you're coming with me. Here come on. It's a good thing I put wheels on this trap. Try to keep up.

Phineas: Somebody hand me that wrench.

Isabella: The power transformer is online.

Baljeet: It's a good thing you had this bicycle-powered generator.

Phineas: We like to be prepared for any eventuality. Thanks for pedaling by the way.

Baljeet: Buford was supposed to take over half an hour ago. But I cannot find him anywhere!

Buford: And you're not gonna.

Baljeet: Buford, is that you?

Buford: No.

Candace: Come on you stupid thing, work! (The flashlight turns on) There. Now where is it? (sees a glimpse of mechanical arms) What the -- ? (The flashlight goes out) Ugh, stupid thing. What are you guys building?

(Isabella's, Baljeet's, and Buford's eyes appear above Candace)

Candace: An anti-gravity device?

Phineas: Nah, that's just the crane. Tighten the servomotor.

Isabella: Aye-aye.

Candace: I'm going to fell my way through this. Okay, this feels like, metal. And this is some kind of wooden railing. Ooh, mushy-squshy.

Phineas: We're not using any "mushy-squshy" stuff. But that's Perry's favorite spot.

Candace: Okay, gross. Can you just tell me what you're building?

Phineas: I'd love to. But it's kinda hard to put into words. You really just have to experience it.

Candace: Fine. Fire it up.

Phineas: Great. Put on this helmet. And this mouthguard. And this lead apron. Arms up... and you're ready to go.

(Candace gets lifted up into the invention)

Candace: Okay, okay, this isn't so -- (gets flung around) BAAAAAAAAAAD!

(Song: "What Is This Thing?")

What is this thing that keeps dragging me around?

Is it mechanical, I recognize the sound,

And I'd give anything to be back on the ground

What is this thing?

What is this thing? Yeah.

What is this thing? Is it just a state of mind?

If this is Venice, then I've gone Venetian blind

I think my sanity is starting to unwind,

What is this thing?

What is this thing? Yeah.

What is this thing?

What is this thing? Yeah.

Is it a car wash or a pair of ankle weights?

Is it a ninja or commemorative plates?

There's a phrase that comes to mind,

I'm not sure that it translates,

¿Qué es esto?

What is this thing? Yeah.

What is this thing?

What is this thing? Yeah

Phineas: Wow Candace, we never thought of riding it before.

Candace: I think I swallowed the mouth-guard.

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, Perry the Platypus, I see someone. You'll understand the power of my sad eyes when you see them in action. You ready? Watch this. Excuse me?

Man: Oh, you look so sad. I feel, I feel so sorry for you. What can I do? Here take this. There. And as soon as I find my home, I'll come back and give you more free stuff. You poor, poor thing.

Doofenshmirtz: You see? And I don't even know what it is.

Man 2: Sir, your eyes, they compel me to help. Let me contribute. Here.

Doofenshmirtz: Thank you kind sir. Why is it all warm?

Woman: Your eyes bring out my mercy.

Doofenshmirtz: Don't they just?

Man 3: Here, take all I have.

Doofenshmirtz: You gave me a wig?

Man 3: No.

Crowd: Here take this. Ooh take that. Please take this. Here have my wallet. My toaster. My watermelon.

Man 4: Oh let's all go get him some more stuff.

Man 5: Jetpack squad away!

(The squad flies off)

Doofenshmirtz: Wow, if it worked on that jetpack squad, I bet ya it'll work on my brother, Roger! He'll take pity on me, and make me mayor! And that's just a hop, skip and a jump from having people give me the whole Tri-State Area!

Major Monogram: (On Perry's wristwatch communicator) Thank goodness your wrist communicator is still working Agent P. We traced the blackout to the Danville power plant on 5th street. I know you're busy with Doofenshmirtz, and you don't normally handle stuff like this, but I was in the middle of microwaving a burrito, and center is still totally frozen. Just figured you were close, and uh... Hurry Agent P. it's, it's kind of scary in here, and I'm all alone.(There is a crash sound) Carl? C-Carl, is that you?

Candace: How can I bust you if I don't know what you've made? (A car horn sounds twice) Dad's unmistakable, two honk horn signal. They're home! Mom! Dad! You're home!.

Linda: Hi sweetie. The restaurant was closed because of the blackout.

Lawrence: What's all that noise?

Candace: Phineas and Ferb made a dangerous...thing in the backyard, in the dark. Oh this stupid fence! Why do we have this stupid fence? Dad, tear down this fence!

Linda: What do you think, should we tear down this fence?

Lawrence: That's that sarcasm I like.

Candace: You can feel what they made. Come on!

Linda: Candace, my arm!

Doofenshmirtz: You, you know Perry the Platypus, I d- I didn't realize this trap would be so heavy. City Hall is still a few blocks away, you wouldn't mind if I just leave you here, do you? Hello?

(Doofenshmirtz shakes the trap, and Perry's eyes fall off)

Doofenshmirtz: Where's Perry... the Platypus?

(At the power plant, Perry flips a switch, and all the power is restored)

Worker 1: That's all it was? That big red switch over there?

Worker 2: You think I would've know that. I mean I got a Ph.D.

Worker 1: You work that into every conversation.

(Cut to the backyard, Candace leads Linda in)

Candace: Okay, can you feel it Mom? Can you feel it?

Linda: I feel something...pointy.

''(The lights turn back on; Linda is holding Phineas' nose) '' Phineas: You're right Ferb. (He and Ferb take off the sunglasses they were wearing) We're cooler, even in the dark.

Linda: Hi boys.

Candace: Wait! Where is that incredibly, huge, and dangerous thing that you built?

Phineas: A bunch of guys on jetpacks came by and asked if they could have it. So we gave it to them.

Linda: Oh you boys are so cute.

Candace: But what was it? What was it?!

(At City Hall)

Roger: So why is it that you think I'm just going to hand over my mayorship to you?

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, because I've got these big sad eyes.

(On the end of this, Doofenshmirtz shows Roger his eyes, which are sticking out of his head, and bloodshot)

Roger: Yeah, and they're kind of freaking me out.

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, I guess it probably works better in the dark. Look, it's the jetpack squad.

Man: Here sad eyed man, we brought you this.

(Doofenshmirtz gets crushed by Phineas and Ferb's creation)

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, I think I swallowed my mouth guard.

End Credits
(Song: "What Is This Thing?")

What is this thing? Is it just a state of mind?

If this is Venice, then I've gone Venetian blind

I think my sanity is starting to unwind,

What is this thing?

What is this thing? Yeah.

What is this thing?

What is this thing? Yeah.

Is it a car wash or a pair of ankle weights?

Is it a ninja or commemorative plates?

There's a phrase that comes to mind,

I'm not sure that it translates,

¿Qué es esto?

What is this thing? Yeah.

What is this thing?

What is this thing? Yeah