Curious George


 * ''[first lines, as the music begins "Upside Down" by Jack Johnson playing, then looking at the bubbles, then swimming underwater, with the hippos, then the bird flies at the nest, with George falling down on the vine, then opening the eggs, with the crocodile, then grabbing the crocodile, then roaring at George, then blowing the grass, tooting, then the lions blow grass, then blowing a grass at the lion, then roaring at George, then blowing a grass while changing color, then bringing a hippo, flamingo, crocodile, zebra, lion cub, then they all run around, with the chameleon mix up color, then putting a chameleon up, then swinging on vines with the butterfly, then on the branch, then the red berry lands on George's head, showing the handprints, then putting handprints, then trumpeting at George, then they all laugh, then painting on the elephant, then they all laugh, then the big elephant appears, then the animals walk away, then trumpeting at George, looking at the face of the back of the elephant, then grabbing the elephant, then shaking the leaves, then grabbing the leaves, with the leaf falling on George, sleeping at the evening sky, then cut to the city]
 * Ted: Now, as I was saying, life was a constant struggle for survival. Australopithecus had no time to enjoy himself, because around every corner was danger! [he puts his head back on]
 * Kid 1: Way to go.
 * Kid 2: Oh, good one. [he sighs]
 * Ted: It wasn't until an amazing discovery that man was able to take time and enjoy life. And why was that? What made Ogg and Grogg's life so much better?
 * Kid 3: A video game?
 * Ted: No.
 * Kid 4: The Internet?
 * Ted: No.
 * Kid 5: A rocket sled?
 * Kid 6: A mountain if chocolate?
 * Kid 7: Star stickers?
 * Ted: No, look, it wasn't a real question. That's right. [lights the fire] Fire!
 * ''[the boy drinks the juice box]
 * Ted: Whoa, huh? Look at that. Impressive, huh?
 * Kid 8: [to Maggie] Miss Dunlop, why do we have to come to this boring museum every single week?
 * Maggie: It's not boring. It's very interesting.
 * Ted: This led to hot dinners. Eventually became the microwave.
 * Kid 9: Three, two, one.
 * Ted: [the fire burns Ted's fingers] Ow.
 * Maggie: Oh, oh, no.
 * Ted: [the fire burns the paper] Ow. Ooh. [pounding on the ground with the paper] Hot! Fire's hot.
 * Kid 10: That's what you get.
 * Ted: Yes, where was I?
 * Kid 11: Hey, is that a real spear?
 * Kid 12: Can we play with it?
 * Ted: Kids, a museum is a place where we observe. We don't play.
 * Kid 13: This stinks.
 * Kid 14: What else can we do?
 * Maggie: Children, be polite.
 * Kid 15: Lunchtime!
 * Kid 16: Yeah, lunch!
 * ''[the kids go to lunch]
 * Ted: Lunchtime? It's only 9:00 a.m.
 * Maggie: [to the children] Buddy system. Stay with your buddies!
 * Ted: Huh?
 * Maggie: Oh, well, each kid has a buddy so they can all keep track of each other. Everyone needs a partner, right?
 * Ted: Oh, yeah. I'm not following.
 * Maggie: Um, well...
 * Ted: Hmm. Lungfish!
 * Maggie: Oh, excuse me?
 * Ted: Next Thursday, I'm going to talk to your class about the lungfish, the closest living relative of the tetrapods. It's pretty great.
 * Maggie: I look foward to hearing it. You know I looked to all your Thursday lectures. [grabbing a part] I wish today was Thursday.
 * ''[the parts crash, then they both set it back up]
 * Maggie: I mean, I know that it's Thursday...
 * Ted: Don't worry. It's not a big deal.
 * Maggie: I wish it was. Here. [takes a part to Ted] I should go catch up to my lungfish... I mean, class. Way to go, Maggie. Way to go.
 * Ted: I'll see you next week, Ms. Dunlop.
 * Maggie: [she leaves] Oh, how embarrassing.
 * ''[Ted puts the part back on]
 * Bloomsberry: Ted...
 * Ted: Mr. Bloomsberry.
 * Bloomsberry: Walk with me, Ted. I'm afraid that Ogg and Groog, all of our friends here, they're just not bringing in the crowds like they used to.
 * Ted: What do you mean?
 * Bloomsberry: It breaks my heart, but I have to sell the museum. We're broke.
 * Ted: Broke? Mr. Bloomsberry, the museum can't close.
 * Bloomsberry: I have no choice, Ted. Museum attendance is down. No one is buying anything from the gift shop.
 * Ted: Even the glow-in-the-dark star stickers?
 * Bloomsberry: Even the glow-in-the-dark star stickers. [continues putting out the fire]
 * Ted: Oh, man, I love those. I especially love the Milky Way. Wait. What'll happen to the museum?
 * Junior: Well, I'm glad you asked.
 * Bloomsberry: Junior?
 * Junior: It will be torn down and a parking lot put in its place, with high hourly rates and no daily maximums. Ka-ching!
 * Ted: The world doesn't need another parking lot. The world needs a place where kids' brains can grow.
 * Junior: Exactly. That's why I'm thinking they can grow trying to count all the spaces in the new parking lot. Come on, how fun is that?
 * Ted: He's not serious, is he?
 * Bloomsberry: Well...
 * Junior: It's time, Father. We're not going to get a better offer.
 * Bloomsberry: I know. I know.
 * Ted: [puts his hand on the paper] Wait! What if we did something? What if we got an amazing new exhibit?
 * Junior: [putting the cup down] You know, Ted, you need to worry about finding an amazing new job.
 * Bloomsberry: Well, hold on, Junior.
 * Junior: [dumping the cup] But I was just trying... oh, great.
 * Bloomsberry: Ted, if you have an idea, now is the time to speak up. What exhibit?
 * Ted: Yes, what exhibit? Uh, it's the famous...
 * Junior: Yes? Uh-huh.
 * Ted: ...and rare, of course.
 * Bloomsberry: Yes! Yes!
 * Ted: The incredible...
 * Bloomsberry: Come on.
 * Junior: Spit it out.
 * Bloomsberry: Don't be shy, Ted, come on.
 * Ted: What about the Lost Shrine of Zagawa?
 * Bloomsberry: My goodness!
 * Junior: I'm sorry, the Lost... You lost me at the lost.
 * Bloomsberry: It's an ancient idol. 20 tons of granite carved by 1,000 craftsman over 100 years. [looking at a book] I had all the charts ready. I was all set to go to Africa, when something happened. Slips my mind. Hmm.
 * Junior: [pours in the cup] Hello? How about the birth of your only son? That would be me.
 * Bloomsberry: Yes. Then I began another adventure, raising Junior.
 * Ted: [grabbing a hat to Bloomsberry] Well, now that that's done, you can finally finish what you've started, which is bringing home...
 * Bloomsberry: The Lost Shrine of Zagawa.
 * Ted: You'll put this museum on the map.
 * Bloomsberry: I'll need a team of 10 men.
 * Ted: Oh, at least 10.
 * Bloomsberry: It's a four-day hike into the jungle.
 * Ted: You go, girl! I mean, sir. [puts the book on the desk]
 * Bloomsberry: We'll be cutting through heavy brush for 12 hours a day.
 * Ted: Look out, here comes the Bloomsberry Express.
 * Bloomsberry: Yes. Yes.
 * Ted: Next stop, archaeological fame and fortune!
 * Bloomsberry: I'm going to discover the Lost Shrine of Zagawa!
 * Ted: My cars!
 * Bloomsberry: [continues spinning with the sword] Little help here!
 * Junior: Hey, watch it!
 * ''[Bloomsberry falls to the ground, with the sword at the shelf, then gasping]
 * Bloomsberry: I forgot something. I am really, really old.
 * Junior: Can I have the Bloomsberry Express pull into the reality station? And sign here, initial here... No, not there.
 * Ted: Wait! I guess I could go. [he gasps while he puts the hand on his mouth] Did I just say that? I can't do that. I don't even ride the bus. Maybe they didn't hear me. I'm sorry, sir, you were saying?
 * Bloomsberry: Excellent idea, Ted.
 * Ted: [gasping] He did hear me.
 * Junior: Him? You've got to be kidding me. Ted is not an explorer.
 * Ted: He raises a good point.
 * Junior: Ow!
 * Bloomsberry: Nonsense. With my maps and my journals, a six-year-old could find the shrine. [puts the hat on Ted]
 * Ted: Thank you, I think.
 * Bloomsberry: Come on. Let's get you ready for your big adventure. Now, Ted, the journal won't take you right to the idol.
 * Ted: It won't?
 * Bloomsberry: No. You have to use your instincts.
 * Ted: About that, sir, I don't have any.
 * Bloomsberry: Don't be silly, it'll be fun.
 * ''[cut to the pictures of Junior, Ted and Bloomsberry]
 * Junior: [looking at a book] Sorry, Ted. [rips his book page] But that's as close as your ever going to get to the precious Lost Shrine od Zagawa-wa-wa. Why does my father like you best? It's not fair. I've got the ponytail. [groans weakly while throwing the paper into the fire, burning]
 * ''[cut to Ted, looking at the man]
 * Ted: Okay, Ted. The trick is to look like you know what you're doing. Now, where's the door?
 * Manager: [looking at a shirt] Yellow. Six dozen yellow suits? Tony, what, are you goofy? We can't sell these things.
 * Salesman: Hey, me goofy? Forget about it. Big guys says move 'em, we move 'em.
 * Manager: Oh, yeah, sure. But what kind of meatball would buy these?
 * Ted: [he arrives]'' Uh, excuse me, uh, I'm here to be professionally outfitted for a jungle expedition.
 * Manager: Showtime. [with Australian accent] G'day, mate! You've stepped in the right place. Isn't that right, Nigel?
 * Salesman: I'll say it is, Steve-o. Finally, a real adventurer to suit up.
 * Manager: [to Ted] So, do you like the color yellow?
 * Ted: Yellow?
 * Salesman: Yeah, what are you, goofy? Yellow's the new khaki. [he hits the Salesman] Oof! Uh, mate.
 * Ted: Really? Well, okay.
 * ''[they all laugh]
 * Man: You've gotta be kiddin'. Look at the getup! Look at the six-foot banana.
 * Ted: "The new khaki." Thank you! Thank you very much! I look like an idiot!
 * ''[cut to the book of the map, showing a boat going to Africa, by leading a group, with Ted looking at a book]
 * Ted: Uh, Edu...
 * Edu: Yes, sir.
 * Ted: Don't worry the other men, but we're hopelessly lost.
 * Edu: Sir, your book is upside down.
 * Ted: Oh, good catch. Carry on.
 * Edu: Thank you, sir.
 * Man 1: Wow. What is it?
 * Man 2: Look at this.
 * Man 3: It's beautiful.
 * Edu: Look at the color.
 * Ted: Edu, do you see this?
 * Edu: Yes, it's...
 * Ted: Exciting. We are so close.
 * ''[Edu groans, then cut to George with the banana]
 * Ted: Edu...
 * Edu: Mr. Ted?
 * Ted: It says here Zagawa means enlightenment.
 * Edu: I know, sir. I live here.
 * Ted: Oh, right. Did you know that statue we're looking for is a giant monkey?
 * Edu: Yes, sir, I live here.
 * Ted: Right again. Oh, a rhino!
 * Edu: Sir...
 * Ted: Stand aside, men. This is a tranquilizer gun.
 * Edu: Mr. Ted...
 * Ted: I'm just going to put him to sleep.
 * Edu: That's not a rhino...
 * ''[the gun fires at the rock, and the leg]
 * Edu: Ow! Nice shot, Mr. Ted. [falls to the ground, snoring while sleeping]
 * Ted: Oops. Okay. Uh, let's break for lunch for the next four to six hours, or longer, depending on how much he weighs. [puts a bread on top of the sandwich] I should probably make a sandwich for Edu. He'll have quite an appetite and a headache when he wakes up. [eats a sandwich] Mmm, this is really good.
 * ''[George grabs the yellow hat, then chewing on the top of the hat]
 * Ted: Hey! Oh, a monkey. Hey there, little guy. Um, can I have my hat, please? I kind of need my hat. The sun's hot and I freckle. Not the good kind, either. I blotch. So, please, my hat? Uh huh. That's the one all right.
 * ''[George flies down to the ground with the hat]
 * Ted: Hmm... Hello, anybody in there? [opening the hat] Peek-a-boo. [opening the hat] Peek-a-boo. [continues opening and closing the hat] Peek-a-boo-a-boo-a-boo. Well, look at that. A monkey who likes to play peek-a-boo. [rubs George] Hey, this was fun, my little friend. But sorry. I've got to go. I wonder if Edu is up yet.
 * ''[George tickles Ted, then grabbing the hat]
 * Ted: Hey! Come back here.
 * ''[George runs to the tree]
 * Ted: [groaning, then running around to get the hat] You can run, but you can't hide. I'll catch up. I'm unstoppable. Uh-huh. That's right. I can run all night. [George looks at Ted, running] All day and all night. There's nothing that can stop... [breaks a leg] Cramp! Ow, cramp. Cramp can stop me. Why the cramp? Extra bad cramp too. Ow! What? What now?
 * ''[George looks at Ted, then getting up]
 * Ted: Okay, I have an idea. We'll trade. Sandwich for the hat. On three. One, two, three!
 * ''[they both push back and forth]
 * Ted: Okay. We're not really making any progress here. [puts the sandwich on the head] Okay. Aha! Oh, yeah. [looking at George with the hat, then taking the sandwich off the head, then grabbing the hat, then putting back on, then grabbing the sandwich to George, then putting on the head, giggling] 191, 192, 193, 194... [looking at George] Not now, monkey. [continues counting] 196, 197, 190-monkey 199, 200! Okay, look for two mufuti bushes and you will find "X."
 * Edu: There, sir. Mufutis. Good eye, Edu! [takes the binoculars] Here, hold this.
 * ''[George uses his hands like a binoculars, then Ted uses the binoculars with the men opening the bushes, revealing the idol]
 * Ted: There it is. It's awesome! It's spectacular. It's... [the idol falls to the ground] ...gone? [looks at an idol] What? This can't be it!
 * Edu: Did you find it, sir?
 * Ted: It's supposed to be huge. That isn't huge, okay? That's the opposite of huge. I need the giant monkey.
 * Edu: Who knew it was actual size?
 * Ted: Wait. This looks like ancient Swatabi. "Turn your eye to the light. Go from blindness to sight." That's a clue! Turn your eye to the light. All right. I'm looking directly into the sun. It's very bright. It's starting to sting. I'm not going to lie to you. Okay, now it's burning. And it's counting... Oh, I singed my cornea. Oh, I'm blind. Ooh. Ow. [he groans while he puts hands on his eyes] Okay, water! H20. Just a little liquid refreshment, please. [puts water in his eyes] Oh, there it is. Oh, sweet relief. Thank you, Edu. Edu, Edu, Edu.
 * Edu: [closing the book] All right, men, let's pick it up.
 * Ted: I'll be over here until my vision return. Oh, I traveled 10,000 miles for a paperweight? Oh, what am I going to tell Mr. Bloomsberry? [the cell phone rings with the music of "William Tell Overture" playing, then picking out of the pocket, saying, "Bloomsberry"] Bloomsberry? Wow. Strong signal. [calls on the phone] Hello.
 * Bloomsberry: Ted, it's me. Have you found it yet?
 * Ted: Yeah. I'm looking at it right now.
 * Bloomsberry: Oh, that's great. Is it gigantic?
 * Ted: Well, there is a size issue, sir. I'll send you a photo so you can see for yourself.
 * Bloomsberry: I can't wait.
 * ''[takes a photo of the idol]
 * Ted: Um, do you see it, sir?
 * Bloomsberry: [sobbing] I do.
 * Ted: Oh, sir. Are you crying?
 * Bloomsberry: It's supposed to be 40 feet tall.
 * Ted: I'll explain it all when I get back.
 * Bloomsberry: No need to, I can see it right here.
 * ''[the phone hears a dial tone, then sighing, then cut to a computer]
 * Bloomsberry: I can't believe it. Do you see that, Junior? It's even bigger than I've ever imagined! [starts spinning the chair]
 * Junior: Well, that's impossible. I can't believe he...
 * Bloomsberry: Whoopee!
 * Junior: Hooray! We're saved.
 * ''[cut back to George and Ted]
 * Edu: Mr. Ted. Time to go.
 * ''[George grabs the hat, then opening and closing]
 * Ted: You know what? Keep the hat. Hey, don't look so sad. It's the new khaki. It's true. Bye. [he goes in the vehicle, then George looks at the vehicle]
 * Man: Hey... How come they get to ride?
 * ''[George begins running along with the hat, with the music of "Talk of the Town" by Jack Johnson playing]
 * Ted: Edu, I can't find a seat belt. Will that be a problem?
 * Edu: Not for me.
 * Ted: Edu, it's okay to use the brake!
 * Edu: Oh, relax.
 * ''[they continue driving to the boat, with the village and the boat, then continues going to the boat, then looking at Ted, going to the boat, then going on the plates of woman, then running at the chickens, then trying to go to the boat, then falling in the water, carrying George on an anchor, then climbing up on the chain, then going in the boat, with the men closing at the top]
 * Ted: Mr. Bloomsberry, I would just like to say in my defense that... Sir, when we set out on certain adventures in life...
 * ''[the men close the door, then locking the door]
 * Ted: Sometimes, sometimes they don't quite go as planned. I'm extra sorry. Oh, boy. Maybe I could just work on the ship, be a deckhand or a chef.
 * ''[George wears a hat, then cut to Ted, opening a door]
 * Ted: I'm so glad I upgraded. [the drawer hits the knee and forehead] Oh, the knee! Aah! There's the forehead. [groaning] Knee-forehead combo.
 * ''[cut back to George, going down, then looking at a closet, with the red button, looking at a reflection of button, then opening a closet, with the clothes around George, then opening a chest, then going backwards of the vehicle, with the fruit boxes
 * ''[cut back to Ted, trying to open, with the nuts falling in the vent]
 * Ted: Oh, no, no. Not the honey roasted goodness. [lays down on the bed] Ow, and there's the head again.
 * ''[cut back to George, eating a banana, then throwing, then yawning, then laying down, then cut at night, with the foghorn blowing, while going to the city, with the man unlocking the door, with George getting out]
 * Man: Hey, it's a monkey with a hat! I'll just go ahead and put that under miscellaneous.
 * ''[cut to George running, then looking at a city, with the music of "People Watching" by Jack Johnson playing, then looking at a monorail car, plane]
 * Cabbie: Where you going, Yellow?
 * Ted: Bloomsberry Museum, please. I'll give you 10 bucks extra if you'll stop calling me Yellow.
 * Cabbie: You got it, Sunshine.
 * ''[the car drives to the city, with George running along at the poles, then sliding down, then running down, then climbing at the taxi car, then waving at the woman, then looking at George, with the woman screaming]
 * Cabbie: For crying out loud, lady, there's no screaming in cabs.
 * ''[he looks at the cars, saying, "Taxi", then stopping, then looking at car driving, saying "Over 40 Feet Tall!", then looking at the idol, gasping]
 * Ted: Wait, what does that say? "The Lost Shrine of Zagawa"? Gigantic? Oh, that's not right at all. The shrine is 40 feet tall?
 * Cabbie: I know. That bad boy's a monster. I can't wait to see it. I'm taking the whole family.
 * Ted: Uh, yeah. Well, I hope you get seats up front. [he lays down, then the people yell, then running at the car, then looking at the man]
 * Man: Huh?
 * ''[the dogs bark at the man]
 * Man: Puppies, puppies.
 * Cabbie: Watch the claws. Watch the claws.
 * ''[the dogs tangle up the lady, then feeling dizzy, then grabbing the hat]
 * Cabbie: Yeah sure, I've seen everything in this town.
 * ''[George appears]
 * Cabbie: Oh, yeah, monkey? Seen it.
 * ''[they both take a picture at George, with the hat blowing away, then trying to get the hat, then driving at George while ducking under, then climbing up, looking at the banners, saying, "The Lost Shrine of Zagawa Over 40 Feet Tall!", then looking at all the cars]
 * Cabbie: Construction. Of all the luck.
 * Ted: You know what, sir? I'll just get out right here. Right. This will work. I'm just going to go home, call Mr. Bloomsberry and explain everything.
 * Cabbie: Sure. Whatever. $12.50, pal.
 * Ted: [gives the dollar to Cabbie, then honking at Ted] Whoa! Sorry.
 * ''[he looks at Ted, walking down]
 * Ted: Okay, I'm moving.
 * ''[George goes up, by getting to George, then walking at the banner, then walking at the building]
 * Woman: [honking at Ted] Watch out!
 * Ted: Hey! What, you couldn't see me? Right.
 * ''[George goes down by the lights, then opening the window, with the woman screaming, then looking at Ted, going to the apartment, then going down, with Ted going in to Ivan]
 * Ted" Hey there, Ivan.
 * ''[he grunts]
 * Ted: Good talk. Take care.
 * ''[cut to George, going to the apartment, with Ted going up the elevator, then grabbing the hat, then climbing up, then opening the door]
 * Ted: Ah, home.
 * ''[George continues climbing up, then sitting on the couch]
 * Ted: [sighing] Okay. I just need two seconds of quiet. [lays down on the couch, then hearing a phone ringing] All right, I didn't mean literally. [looking at the phone, saying, "Bloomsberry"] Uh-oh. [calls on the phone] Hello?
 * Bloomsberry: Ted!
 * Ted: Hi, Mr. Bloomsberry. I just walked in the door.
 * Bloomsberry: Well, get down here. All the news reporters are here. I've arranged a press conference just for you. You're the hero of the moment.
 * ''[George continues looking]
 * Bloomsberry: Oh, have you seen the surprise?
 * Ted: Surprise, sir?
 * Bloomsberry: Look out your front window.
 * Ted: My window?
 * Blokmsberry: Yes, yes, take a look-see.
 * Ted: Okay.
 * ''[the hat continues blowing by the wind]
 * Bloomsberry: You're really going to like it. Well, what do you think?
 * ''[he gasps, looking at the sign with Ted and the idol, saying, "I Found It Come See It!"]
 * Bloomsberry: Speechless! [laughing] I knew you'd love it.
 * ''[George grabs the hat by swinging on the pole]
 * Bloomsberry: Ted, you deserved it. I don't know what I would have done. You single-handedly saved the museum.
 * Ted: Mr. Bloomsberry, I have to tell you something.
 * Bloomsberry: Yes, I'm all ears. It's about... Yes, what?
 * Ted: My hat?
 * Bloomsberry: Sure. Wear your hat. Wear your best suit. Just get down here.
 * Ted: Uh-huh. There can't be two hats like that.
 * Ivan: [sniffing] Pet? [looking at the fish, dog, and cat, then sniffing] Pet!
 * Ted: My hat? My yellow hat? No, no, this can't be the same hat.
 * ''[George opens the hat]
 * Ted: It's the same hat! And the same monkey! Wait, you followed me all the way from Africa, to play peek-a-boo?
 * ''[cut to Ivan in an elevator]
 * Ivan: [sniffing] No.
 * ''[the arrow points to 2]
 * Ivan: [sniffing] No again. [sniffing] No. No.
 * ''[the arrow points to 6]
 * Ivan: No. No. No.
 * ''[the arrow points to 8, 9]
 * Ivan: No. No. No.
 * ''[the arrow points to 12]
 * Ivan: No. No. No.
 * ''[the arrow goes faster]
 * Ivan: No.
 * ''[the arrow points to 17]
 * Ivan: Hold the phone.
 * ''[cut back to Ted and George]
 * Ted: No, no, no, no, no. I don't want to play peek-a-boo.
 * ''[Ivan knocks at the door, then gasping]
 * Ivan: Open up, 17-B. I know you are in there. Open up. Ivan don't like to wait.
 * Ted: What? Oh, no, monkey!
 * Ivan: Come on, open the door!
 * Ted: Monkey, where are you? [opens tbe door] Oh. Hi, Ivan.
 * Ivan: I'm smelling pet.
 * Ted: Pet? No, no pet here. Can't have a pet? Wait, isn't there a no-pet policy?
 * Ivan: Yes.
 * Ted: Hey, you can't just barge in here. Apparently you can.
 * ''[Ivan crawls to the floor, sniffing, with George appearing, gasping]
 * Ivan: Pet is close. [continues crawling on the floor, sniffing] Aha!
 * Ted: What?
 * Ivan: Nothing. Just practicing for when I find pet. [he sniffs at the light and the floor]
 * Ted: [whispering] Monkey, monkey no! Down, down, down. No! No! No!
 * Ivan: [to Ted] Why you yell when I'm right next to you?
 * Ted: Uh, no reason.
 * ''[they hear a refrigerator closing, then opening the refrigerator]
 * Ivan: Aha!
 * Ted: [gasping] What?
 * Ivan: Milk is sour. Don't drink. [closing the refrigerator]
 * ''[Ted throws a book to the window]
 * Ivan: Bingo! Now move, please.
 * Ted: [grabs George] New game. New game. Hide and seek. [runs to the bathroom, shaking the hat to get George out] Stay right there. Good monkey. [puts his hat on, then closing the door, then looking at the toilet paper by the wind, then touching the toilet paper, by rolling out all of it, then running to get George, then Ivan appears]
 * Ivan: [to Ted] Did you hear something?
 * Ted: No.
 * ''[George clatters around]
 * Ivan: How 'bout that?
 * Ted: Nope.
 * ''[they hear a toilet flushing]
 * Ted: If you're asking, I didn't hear that either.
 * Ivan: [grabs Ted] Move, sir. [kicks the door] Aha!
 * Ted: Oh, that. I unroll it ahead of time. It helps when you're in a rush.
 * Ivan: Where's the pet? Where's... I can't find pet nowhere. Very strange. Nose does not lie. [walks away]
 * Ted: Well, that was fun. Next time we'll have to do it at your place, okay, Ivan? [gasping] Miss Plushbottom. [he hears an opera] Oh, no, that's trouble. Monkey. Oh, Mr. Monkey! [he gets out of the bathroom, then opening the door to Ivan]
 * Ivan: If I find pet, you are "e-wic-ted."
 * Ted: E-what-ed?
 * Ivan: E-vic-ted.
 * Ted: Good to know. [he slams the door at Ivan, then getting out of the window, then looking down] Oh, no! [closing the windows] Oh, that's a big drop, Ted. Don't look down. Rickety's okay, just as long as there's no wind.
 * ''[the wind howls at Ted on a ladder, screaming, with a paper flying, saying, "Zagawa"]
 * Ted: Sweet mother of science! [holds the ladder] Cramp! Cramp again. Cramp. Cramp. Darn that cramp. Dah!
 * Plushbottom: No, no, no, no, no! These are not the colors I wanted. I told you to match them to the City Opera...
 * Painter 2: Did you see that?
 * Plushbottom: [singing, while grabbing the picture, saying, "Opera Hall"] Hall!
 * ''[cut to George, crawling in a vent]
 * Painter 1: They are the same colors, Miss Plushbottom.
 * Plushbottom: They may look like it, but do they sing to me? [singing while pushing the men] You are fired!
 * Painter 1: Hey, she fired us in song.
 * Painter 2: It still hurts.
 * Plushbottom: And now I must have a soak. [he goes to the tub]
 * ''[cut to George rolling down at the vent, then opening the vent, then swinging up at the ceiling, then getting down, bouncing on the couch, and table, then hearing radio, then blaring at George, with the foot getting on the red paint, then splashing on the floor, then looking at the paints with red, green, blue, and yellow, then putting hands in the paint with green and red, then clapping hands, then splashing at the paint trat, then drawing on the wall, then putting the feet on the wall, then cut to Plushbottom, taking a bath, with cucumbers on her eyes, then drawing on the wall, then looking at the bubbles, popping, then popping the bubbles, then opening a mouth with the bubble popping at George, then poppping all the bubbles, then climbing up the tub, looking at George in a bubble, then popping, with the green paint drop in the water drop, then touching the water, then putting the hands in the water]
 * ''[cut to Ted, climbing up]
 * Ted: Okay fellas, last stop. Everybody off. [the birds fly off the hat, then looking at all the paint cans] No. Paint? You've got to be kidding me. Who leaves eight open cans of paint lying around? Uh-oh. [opens the window, then falling on the chair with the zebra paint, screaming, then looking at the paint] Of course he went in there. [he looks at Plushbottom and George, then gasping] Oh, boy.
 * ''[George dumps the paint out of the can in the water, by mixing the paint]
 * Ted: Monkey, monkey. Over here, come, monkey. Come on. Monkey, peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo. Monkey!
 * ''[the paint can falls in the water]
 * Ted: Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! No, no, no, no, quiet.
 * Plushbottom: [takes the cucumbers off of her eyes] What's that?
 * Ted: Do yourself a favor. You're going to want to put the cucumbers back on. [closing the door, with Plushbottom screaming in the mirror, with Ted running away]
 * Plushbottom: [pressing a button] Ivan!
 * Ivan: I knew it! You are red-handed with pet.
 * Ted: And while we're on the subject, I think you have a serious pest problem in this building, Ivan. I mean, don't you spray for jungle animals every spring? I specifically remember such language in my lease. [to George, whispering] Let go. Not helping.
 * Plushbottom: Look at my walls!
 * Ted: [to Plushbottom] And you!
 * Plushbottom: What?
 * Ted: You hired a monkey to paint your apartment. How do you sleep at night?
 * Ivan: [pointing to George and Ted on a wall painting] Here is your monkey! Now what do you say?
 * Ted: Come on, that could be any guy in a yellow suit, silk starched collar, black spotted tie.
 * Plushbottom: Ivan!
 * ''[he looks at Ivan screaming]
 * Ted: Well, that was fun. Bye-bye. [slides down the door, breaking] Sorry. My fault.
 * ''[Ivan throws the broken door away, then they all scream]
 * Ted: [running to the window] Lovely apartment. Could we borrow your window? Gotta go.
 * Ivan: [opens the door, running over Plushbottom, and the window] You are no more 17-B. You are kick-ed from building.
 * Ted: Just to be clear, the monkey's kick-ed, not me?
 * Ivan: Get out!
 * ''[they both use a ladder, to climb down, with the foot getting caught on a ladder]
 * Ted: Whoa-oh-oh-oh. Foot caught. Ow. Ow.
 * ''[George grabs the necktie of George, sighing]
 * Ted: What am I going to do with you?
 * ''[the music of the reprise of "People Watching" by Jack Johnson playing by getting to the museum]
 * Ted: Come on. We're almost at the museum. Act natural. Try to blend in.
 * Man: Yeah, boy.
 * ''[George holds the leg of George]
 * Ted: Come on.
 * ''[he looks at the baby, then imitating like a baby, then putting at Ted]
 * Ted: [tickling him] Ooh, that tickles. [laughing, then he clears throat] He's grooming me. Everyone's doing it. They're getting small monkeys and... Uh, never mind.
 * Woman: So cute.
 * ''[they both go to the museum]
 * Ted: Oh, I forgot all about them. Quick, monkey, this way! Okay.
 * ''[gets in the store, then the parts crash]
 * Ted: Oh, no! What have they done? These are cheesy, ridiculous. Okay, that's kind of fun.
 * Maggie: How much longer is this going to take?
 * Bloomsberry: Let's all be patient, please. Ted will be more than happy to answer all your questions regarding the giant idol.
 * Ted: Oh, boy. Run, monkey, run! [opening the door] Quick, in here. What am I gonna do? Oh, this is beyond bad.
 * ''[George opens and closes the blinds]
 * Ted: Hey, monkey. Shh! Quiet. Monkey! I said quiet!
 * Junior: Well, we gave it a shot, didn't we? I mean, huge monkey statues, they come and go, but parking lots are forever.
 * Ted: Excuse me, would you please!
 * Junior: Oh, look who's back.
 * Ted: I'm serious. Would you stop that? I have to concentrate.
 * Junior: And he's wearing a yellow suit. What, is he officially the golden child now?
 * ''[George grabs a mask]
 * Ted: Monkey, put that down. No. [puts the mask on Ted's face, sighing] I've got problems. Oh, do I have problems!
 * Junior: Glorious day, Ted has problems.
 * Ted: [takes the mask off] What am I going to do? What can I do? There's no way around it. I have to tell Mr. Bloomsberry the truth. The horrible, awful...
 * Junior: Horrible? Awful?
 * Ted: ...devstatingly crushijg truth.
 * Junior: Devastatingly crushing?
 * Ted: His enormous idol looks like it came out of a cereal box.
 * Junior: That must be a huge box of cereal or...
 * Ted: It's only three inches tall!
 * Junior: Yes! This is great! What a great day for parking lots! Whoa! [falls to the ground] Oh, my body. Hey, a dollar!
 * ''[cut to Ted, watching the globe spin]
 * Ted: Yeah, it spins. Fun, huh?
 * Clovis: [knock at the door] Ted? Hello? Yoo-hoo?
 * ''[Ted stops spinning the globe, then continues spinning]
 * Clovis: Oh, there you are. What's with that?
 * Ted: Clovis, I can explain.
 * ''[George rides on the fan]
 * Clovis: I should hope so, because that is a lot of yellow for one man.
 * Ted: You see it's... I thought you were color-blind.
 * Clovis: I can see that. Oh, before I forget, here's a bill for my services.
 * Ted: [gives a form] $2,000? What's this for?
 * Bloomsberry: The exhibition stage of the Lost Shrine of Zagawa?
 * Ted: Mr. Bloomsberry?
 * Bloomsberry: Watch this. [presses a button, then the lights and smoke appear]
 * Recorded voice: Behold the Eighth Wonder of the World!
 * Bloomsberry: [laughing] Clovis whipped it up. Doesn't it take your breath away?
 * Ted: [gasping] More than you know.
 * ''[cut to George in a fish tank, then growling at George, then he imitates the growl]
 * Bloomsberry: Okay, let's get down to business. Where's the shrine?
 * ''[puts the idol on the floor]
 * Bloomsberry: What's that?
 * ''[Ted presses a button]
 * Recorded voice: Behold the Eighth Wonder of the World!
 * Bloomsberry: What? Ted! That can't be the idol. I don't understand. We saw the picture. The statue's huge.
 * Ted: I'm sorry, sir, but it is. I've been trying to tell you. This is this.
 * ''[he sighs, then closing the phone]
 * Bloomsberry: Oh, Ted, what are we going to do?
 * Junior: Okay, here he is, everybody. Right this way!
 * Ted: Uh-oh.
 * Junior: The man of the hour. Our hero. No pushing. You'll all get a chance. Hey, Ted. They can't wait for you to tell them about the massively gigantic, huge, enormous idol. Don't be shy. Right up there. Come on. Now's not the time for butterflies, Ted. Speak right into the mic. You're good. You've checked that that's working, right?
 * Ted: Uh...
 * Junior: Louder!
 * Ted: Any questions?
 * Boy: Over here. Can you tell how old it is?
 * Ted: Uh...
 * Junior: Sounded like old, but what she said was big. How big is it?
 * Ted: Um, you know, I'm not sure about that.
 * Reporter: Was it difficult to find a boat big enough to bring the idol back?
 * Ted: No. No. Didn't have a problem on the boat thing. It... Yeah, it fit nicely.
 * Reporter: Excuse me, what was your first reaction when you saw the idol?
 * Ted: Uh, I was emotional. Teared up pretty much instantly.
 * Junior: Guys, guys, let's focus here. We're here about the idol.
 * Man: So, Ted, where is the idol now?
 * Junior: Yes, where is the idol?
 * Ted: It's close. It's... it's very close.
 * Junior: What else we got? Come on guys, fire away. Keep 'em coming.
 * Woman: Uh, excuse me, rumor has it the idol has magical powers. Is that true?
 * Ted: Well, that all depends.
 * Clovis: Was it difficult to find?
 * Woman: Is it made of solid gold?
 * Junior: And how big is the idol?
 * ''[George climbs up the dinosaur skeleton]
 * Clovis: Are you gonna write a book?
 * Woman: What about a movie deal?
 * Ted: Oh, no, that's not a good idea.
 * Man: It's not? Why?
 * Ted: Not the Apatosaurus, formerly known as the Brontosaurus.
 * Bloomsberry: I'm sorry, but this is very common...
 * Ted: No, don't...
 * Bloomsberry: ...when you come back from the jungle.
 * Ted: Bad idea. Monkey!
 * Junior: Can we please get back to questions regarding when we will actually see the idol?
 * Ted: Monkey!
 * Man: You can't leave, Ted.
 * Ted: No, no, no! Monkey, please! No!
 * Junior: Ted, where is the idol?
 * Ted: Okay, careful, careful. That's the linchpin to the whole left leg.
 * ''[the dinosaur skeleton breaks completely, then gasping]
 * Ted: Oh, no!
 * ''[the all take a picture]
 * Junior: Wow. I didn't see that coming.
 * Bloomsberry: Oh, Ted, we're doomed.
 * ''[George peeks out, then gasping]
 * Woman: What's a monkey doing here?
 * Man: I guess we should just take a picture. Quick, get a picture
 * Junior: Well, seriously, Ted. Can't say you didn't try. I mean you did bring back a monkey, just not one that anyone cared about. Okay, bye-bye.
 * Ted: Hold on. You're locking me out?
 * Junior: [closing the door] Cabs are right behind you.
 * Ted: Oh, perfect.
 * ''[George grabs on the leg]
 * Ted: Oh, no, no, no, no. No you don't. No, this is not going to work.