The Excelsior Acquisition

(Raj is about to enter the comic book store. He presses a button making his shirt play the Star Wars "Imperial March" theme and walks up to Leonard and Howard).

Leonard: Will you please turn your shirt off?

Raj: What? I'm giving myself dramatic entrance music, people will know I'm awesome. And to be feared.

Howard: Yes, and there's nothing more awesome and fearful than a man with music blasting between his nipples.

(Raj turns his shirt off).

Raj: I can't believe it. I'm going to meet Stan Lee. (Presses a button making his shirt play Pointers Sisters "I'm So Excited" and dances to it while the guys just stare at him).

Howard: I'm sad to say I taught him those moves.

Sheldon: I'm not going to pay a fine. That would imply I'm guilty.

Howard: You ARE guilty.

(Raj presses a button making his shirt play a sound effect from Law & Order making Leonard and Howard laugh).

Howard: ''(Still laughing). ''That one I liked.

Penny: Did he (Sheldon) somehow give me the finger?

Howard: Not just the finger... (in a deeper voice) the moving finger!

Raj: Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Invincible Iron Man, Happy Hogan, Curt Connors...

Howard: OK, just let it go!

Raj: Oh and worst of all, Fin Fang Foom.

(Sheldon comes home with a piece of paper in his hands.)

Leonard: Hey, where have you been?

Sheldon: I'll tell you where I've been. You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee and gotten autographed comics but, I saw the inside of his house. And got an autographed application for a restraining order.

Howard (sarcastically): Sweet.

Sheldon: Plus, I get to hang out with him again: at the hearing. (Sheldon goes to his room and marvels at the restraining order.) This is going to look great hanging next to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy.

(Sheldon has just finished explaining his case.)

Judge Kirby: Impressive.

Sheldon: Thank You.

Judge Kirby: Guilty. Pay the cashier.

Sheldon: I object, you're completely ignoring the law!

Judge Kirby: No, I'm following the law, I'm ignoring you.

Sheldon: Really, well, may I remind you that I am at the top of my profession while you reside over the kiddie table of yours.

Judge Kirby: Dr. Cooper, before I find you in contempt and throw you in jail, I'm gonna give you a chance to apologize for that last remark.

Sheldon: I'm a scientist, I never apologize for the truth.

(Cut to Sheldon in a jail cell as the guard closes the door. He turns to a bench of criminals.)

Sheldon (to guy on the far left end): That's my spot.

Leonard: Look at that. To my friend, Leonard, from Stan Lee, Excelsior!

Howard: Awesome. Mine says, To my friend, Howard, from Stan Lee, Excelsior!

Raj: Mine says, To Raj, from Stan Lee.

Howard: That's 'cause you pissed him off about his character names.

Raj: Hey, I didn't even mention Dum Dum Dugan or Green Goblin, Matt Murdock, Pepper Potts, Victor Von Doom, oh, and worst of all, Millie the Model