Trash Boat

This episode begins when Rigby is watching a commercial about Barracuda Deathwish on TV.)

Announcer: Fame, fortune, ultimate power. Today on behind the bands, we give you an inside look at one of the greatest bands the world has ever known. They are: Barracuda Deathwish.

Rigby: Awesome!

Announcer: I'm here with musical masterminds, Crash, Hawk Daniels, and the brains behind the band, The Urge. You guys are at the top of your game right now. What's the secret to your success?

The Urge: Two words: name change. I love me mum and all, but the name she gave me originally—not so awesome. So I changed my name to The Urge. Just rolls off the tongue better.

Announcer: Fascinating. How did you come up with it?

The Urge: I simply took two words of random and put them together. I picked "The" and "Urge." The Urge. Once I did that...(Vocalizing while a guitar plays in the background) I became the coolest person in the world!

Rigby: Aw, coooool, I wanna change my name to two completely random words! But what words should I pick?

(Rigby looks at a trash can and a picture of a boat)

Rigby:Hmmm hmmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmm.

(Transitions to the house)

Rigby: (With his left arm behind his back) Mordecai, Mordecai! What would you say if I changed my name to ...(Sticks his finger out) Trash Boat!

Mordecai: I'd say you're a total loser.

Rigby: You wouldn't say it was cool?

Mordecai: Not if you're changing your name to Trash Boat. . . wait, you're not actually considering changing your name to Trash Boat, are you?

Rigby: What? No, I was just jokin'.

Mordecai: Then what are you hiding behind your back?

Rigby: Nothing.

(Mordecai lunges at Rigby and laughs)

Rigby: No!

Mordecai: (Holding frame away and looking at it) "Certificate of Name Change?!" (Laughs) You actually did it?!

Rigby: Gimme that!

Mordecai: Oh, man; wait until everyone hears about this! (Runs away) Hey, everybody, Rigby legally changed his name to Trash Boat!

Rigby: No, wait! I gotta change my name back to Rigby.

(Transitions to the Courthouse)

Lady: How can I help you?

Rigby: I'd like to change my name back.

Lady: That'll be fifty dollars.

Rigby: But I don't have fifty dollars.

Lady: It's fifty dollars to change your name, otherwise you're stuck with it forever.

Rigby: Forever?

Lady: Is there anything else I can help you with, Trash Boat?

Rigby: Ugghhh!

(Rigby walks away)

Lady: Next!

(A man walks up)

Man: Uh, I'd like to change my name back to Chad.

Lady: That'll be fifty dollars, Mr. Buttcheeks.

(Transitions back to the house)

Muscle Man: (Looking through binoculars) Hey, dudes, Trash Boat is back!

(All talking while walking down the stairs to see Rigby. A banner that says 'Welcome Home Trash Boat' is strung from the house.)

Pops: Oh, Trash Boat!

Mordecai: Traash Boooat!

Benson: Hey, Trash Boat!

Rigby: Did you have to tell everyone?

Mordecai: Yes, it's that funny. (Breaks into a rueful grin) Trash Boat!

(Laughter)

Benson: When Mordecai told us, we thought it was only right to welcome you back as a new man—a new man called Trash Boat. (Laughs) Here. (Gives him a namecard with the name Trash Boat on it)

Rigby: Yeah, thanks. Look, is there any extra work around that I can do?

Benson: Whoa-ho! Extra work? You really are a new man, Trash Boat. (Laughs)

Rigby: Seriously, I need fifty bucks so I can change my name back.

Benson:  Well, I'm sorry to say that trash ship has sailed. Muscle Man and Hi-Fives have already taken care of all the extra work.

Muscle Man:  Yeah, loser. Don't come begging us for money. Fives and I already spent it all on sweet temporary tattoos. Check it out! (Lifts up his shirt, revealing  a wolf tattoo)

Rigby:  But aren't those things really cheap?

Muscle Man: Not when you get 'em all over. (Turns around, revealing another one)

Pops: Oh, Trash Boat. I can help! (Takes out his wallet and gets out a lollipop)

Rigby: (Holding arm up) Don't worry about it, Pops.

Skips: Hey, don't sweat it. Things were hard for me too when I first changed my name. But after a couple of years, no one cared...but then again, I didn't change my name to Trash Boat.

Rigby: Please, Benson! I just need fifty bucks to change my name back!

Benson: There is one thing you can do.

(Screen transitions to Rigby picking up litter. A chubby guy walks by and throws a ball of paper on the ground.)

Rigby: Hey, what's your problem, dude?! No littering! Use a trash can!

Chubby Guy: (Looks at Rigby's name tag) Well, why use a trash can when I got a trash boat to pick it up? (Walks away laughing)

Rigby: Oh, hahaha! This name sucks! (Throws down name tag) Ugh!

(Benson drives up in the cart)

Benson: Hey, Trash Boat; pick that up! Name tags are mandatory on worktime!

Rigby: What?! But that's only for new employees!

Benson: Exactly. New name, new man! Now put it back on or you're fired!

Rigby: Ugh! (Picks up the name tag and puts it on)

Benson: Hehehe, never gets old. (Drives away)

(Screen transitions to Mordecai, Muscle Man, and Hi Five Ghost in line at the Taco'Clock truck)

Rigby: (Running) Agh! Mordecai, I can't take this anymore. I want to change my name back. Could you please just be a pal and lend me fifty bucks?

Mordecai: Fifty bucks? I don't know. What do you think, Muscle Man?

Muscle Man: I don't think you should do it. I like Trash Boat way better than Rigby anyways. It's way easier to make fun of. (Moving wolf tattoo) Isn't that right, Trash Boat?

Rigby: Please, Mordecai; I just need fifty bucks.

Mordecai: I don't know, dude. I usually lend money to people I know like my buddy Rigby. But I've only known Trash Boat for a day, so I'm not sure.

Rigby: (Angrily) Fine! I'll get the fifty dollars myself!

(Montage of Rigby signing up for jobs, but everyone laughs at his name. Rigby is seen everywhere on the news, and he eventually runs away into an alley and trips and lands in a puddle of water.)

Rigby: (Cries) I'm never gonna get the fifty dollars. I don't wanna be Trash Boat anymore.

(A red light appears and The Urge, wearing futuristic clothing and also obese, scans Rigby with his visor)

The Urge: Trash Boat. We meet at last.

Rigby: Uh... who are you?

The Urge: (Removes his helmet) I'm... The Urge.

Rigby: What happened to you?

The Urge: You happened. (Flashback to the past The Urge) I was the most famous man in this time until you took it all away with your horrible name, Trash Boat. (A billboard with The Urge on it is replaced with a picture of Rigby saying 'Trash Boat') You've robbed me of everything. (A newspaper appears showing the band breaking up) I've even tried changing my name to Urge Boat but it didn't do nothing. (Shows him at a children's party and the children throw tomatoes at him, and the Urge throws a carton of milk at the T.V. when Rigby appears on it) My life was ruined. That's when I realized I had to take matters into my own hands. (Back to the present) So I've come back in time to keep you from changing your name to Trash Boat. (Sings) By killing you! (Normal voice) No Trash Boat, no problem!

(The Urge attacks and chases Rigby by firing lasers from his guitar. Rigby proceeds to run away from The Urge.)

Rigby: (Breathing quickly) Wait! I'm gonna change my name! (Laser is fired at him) Aah!

The Urge: Talk is cheap, Trash Boat.

(The Urge fires another laser at Rigby. Rigby screams as he is running. Scene changes to Pops' house as Mordecai is walking out whistling and picks up a newspaper on the ground.)

Mordecai: (Laughs as he sees Rigby on the front page) Wait 'til Trash Boat sees this!

(Mordecai lowers the newspaper and sees the red glow of the laser, and Rigby screams and appears from the trees)

Mordecai: What the?

Rigby: Get inside, quick!

(Mordecai drops the newspaper and follows Rigby back into the house. The newspaper is left on the ground and The Urge steps on it. Mordecai and Rigby are hiding in their bedroom.)

Mordecai: What the heck is going on?

Rigby: Shhh!

(The Urge is seen through the window and walks out of sight. Rigby looks out the window.)

Rigby: I think he's gone.

(A laser is fired at the window and Rigby screams. The laser leaves a huge hole in the wall of the bedroom.)

The Urge: Trash Boat! I know you're in there! Just come out of there and give yourself up!

Mordecai: Dude, what is this guy's deal??

Rigby: He wants to kill me because I've become more famous than him in the future. All because of my name, Trash Boat!

(Another laser is fired, and the hole in the wall increases in size)

Rigby: I need to change my name back to Rigby! Please help me, Mordecai.

(Mordecai opens the first drawer of their dresser and grabs a roll of money)

Rigby: But that's the money you've been saving for when you asked Margaret out!

Mordecai: Don't worry about it. We gotta hurry though. The court house is gonna close soon. Let's take the back way out; come on!

(Mordecai and Rigby run out the back way of the house. The Urge is standing at the front of the house.)

The Urge: You can't hide forever Trash Boat!

(Mordecai and Rigby are running and see Muscle Man driving the golf cart and stop)

Muscle Man: (Moving wolf tattoo) Tooot tooot! What's your hurry, Trash Boat?

(A hole is made at the back of the house and The Urge walks out)

The Urge: (Sings) There you are!

(Mordecai and Rigby scream. Mordecai pushes Muscle Man out of the golf cart and they quickly drive away from the house. The Urge groans and presses a button on his wrist and activates a jetpack from his shoulder pads. He flies away and chases after Mordecai and Rigby. The Urge fires a laser at Mordecai and Rigby. They scream and try to dodge the lasers.)

Mordecai: We'll cut through the woods and lose him there. Hang on!

(The Urge sings and flies above the woods. He puts his helmet on and tracks Mordecai and Rigby down.)

Mordecai: Yea-heh! We lost him!

(Lasers are fired at the golf cart and Mordecai and Rigby dodge them. The golf cart gets out of the woods and drives onto the road.)

Mordecai: Hold on; I know a shortcut to the courthouse!

(Swerves to the shortcut and a view of the courthouse is seen)

Rigby: There it is!

Mordecai: We're almost there, dude!

(A charged up laser is made by The Urge and is fired at the golf cart, throwing Mordecai and Rigby out of the cart. They groan in pain as a tire on fire rolls away. The Urge walks out of the smoke cloud. Mordecai and Rigby gasp, get up, run up the stairs and burst into the courthouse. They grab the railing stands and Mordecai barricades the door. Rigby gets one and drops it in front of the door. The Urge tries to get in the court but the door is jammed. Mordecai and Rigby hold the door shut.)

Mordecai: Ugh, I got the door! Just change your name back!

Rigby: (Runs to the lady and hands her the money) I wanna change my name back!

Lady: Mmhm.

Mordecai: Hurry up dude!

(The Urge is still trying to break in)

Rigby: I'm trying! I'm trying!

(The lady has a stack of papers in front of her and stamps a red seal on each one. A gun load can be heard and The Urge shoots the door of the courthouse. Mordecai screams and slides across the floor and groans when he hits the wall near Rigby.)

Rigby: Mordecai? (Gasps)

(The Urge walks up to Rigby, the shadow looming over him)

Rigby: Mordecai! (Shakes Mordecai's head)

(The Urge laughs and is about to shoot Mordecai and Rigby as they gasp. The lady finally stamps Rigby's Certificate of Name Change.)

Lady: Your name change is complete: Rigby.

(The lady drops the certificate, and it falls in front of Rigby)

The Urge: Huh? Wait. What did you say your name was?

Rigby: (Holds up his certificate) Rigby! It's Rigby!

The Urge: Wooohooo! The Urge is back! (Sings) BABY!

(A red light appears and reveals a musician)

Duncan Flex: Hey, are you The Urge?

The Urge: Yeah.

Duncan Flex: (Points at The Urge) You robbed me of my fame in the future, so I've come here to the past to stop you!

(The lady closes sliding doors to her station. Duncan Flex plays his keytar and shoots The Urge with it.)

Duncan Flex: Nice!

(Another red light appears, along with another musician)

Velvet Overkill: Are you Duncan Flex?

Duncan Flex: What's it to you?

(Another musician appears at the front of the court house)

Crocodile Deathspin: Oi, which one of you is the Velvet Overkill?

Duncan Flex and Velvet Overkill: (Point to each other) He is.

(Crocodile Deathspin shoots both Duncan Flex and Velvet Overkill)

Crocodile Deathspin: Finally, my fame is secure!

(More musicians appear via red lights)

Musician: Anyone here named Crocodile Deathspin?

(The musicians kill each other for their fame in the future. Mordecai and Rigby manage to escape from the battle. A maraca grenade kills everyone in the courthouse and the courthouse is left in flames. Mordecai and Rigby, covered in smoke, are seen walking away from the courthouse.)

Rigby: Thanks, dude.

Mordecai: Yeah. Don't ever change your name again.

[End of Trash Boat]