Joy Ride

(Opens on Beach)

(Crystal Gems are seen clearing up the debris from Peridot's Ship)

(Steven picks up a small piece of debris)

Steven: Do we really have to get every piece?

(Amethyst grunts and digs up large piece of debris)

(Garnet pick up a huge piece of debris)

Amethyst: Yes!

Garnet: Yes, having a wrecked ship lying around is too dangerous. We've got to take care of it, all of it.

Pearl: And we need to start looking for Peridot's escape pod too, assuming she even made it to Earth.

(Pearl drops some pile)

Garnet: There's a lot of work ahead of us.

(Steven drops the piece he previously picked up)

Steven: On it.

(Steven walks to the other side of the beach and digs up a huge piece of debris)

Steven: Woah, that's a big one.

(Steven continues digging up some debris until he realizes that Jenny, Buck Dewey and Sour Cream are there)

Jenny: Steven, Steven!

Steven: Huh?

Buck Dewey: Yo!

Jenny: Hey Steven, welcome back to Earth.

Steven: What? Who told you?!

Buck Dewey: You looked a million miles away, man.

Steven: Oh, heh heh. Sorry, I was zoning out.

Buck Dewey: We were about to go chill in the parking lot and freak out some squares.

Jenny: You should come with. (To Steven)

Steven: Oh, but I— I don't have anything against squares. I like all basic shapes.

Buck Dewey: (Chuckles) Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. You got that much-needed counterpart to our cynical world view. You have to come.

Sour Cream: It's good energy flow.

Steven: Sorry, guys, but I got a lot of important gem work to do. Maybe later.

Jenny: Aww.

Sour Cream: Bummer.

Buck Dewey: Well, catch you later, then.

(Buck Dewey, Jenny, and Sour Cream walk away.)

(Skips to night.)

(Steven lying on his bed)

Steven: Ugh, the calluses on my hands have calluses. A working man's burden is truly a heavy one.

(Rolls over on his side, sighs)

(A thump comes from window)

Steven: Huh?

(Stares out of window until a piece of pizza hits the window)

Steven: Huh, pizza rain, but no pizza clouds.

(Another piece of pizza hits window and Steven sees Buck Dewey and Sour Cream)

Steven: Wha—?

(Steven walks out front door and approaches Buck Dewey and Sour Cream)

Steven: What are you guys doing here? And why are you making it pizza rain?

Buck Dewey: I only wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rain.

Steven: Is that a reference to something?

Buck Dewey: C'mon. It's time to hang out.

Steven: We can't hang out at night! Night is for dreaming.

Sour Cream: Night is whatever you want it to be, time is an illusion.

Buck Dewey: Aren't you done working for the day?

Steven: Yeah... Okay, let's hang out!

Sour Cream: But first, we have to deliver the rest of this pizza to Mr. Smiley.

(Skip to Jenny, Steven, Buck Dewey and Sour Cream in the delivery car)

Jenny: Whoo! Wind in your face, that's what I'm talking about!

Buck Dewey: Breathe deep, Steven. This is the smell of freedom.

Steven: (Inhales) Freedom smells like pepperoni.

Jenny: (Laughs) That's just the car.

Sour Cream: You know what food definitely doesn't smell like freedom? Fish!

Steven: Why fish?

Jenny: Uh oh, here we go.

Sour Cream: Ugh, my step-dad was all on my case today saying—(makes mumbling noises)—eugh. I'm just like, I don't want to be a fisherman. Everyone knows you can't rave in a raincoat, Step-dad!

Buck Dewey: At least he only bugs you about one thing. My dad's gotta say something about everything I do, 'cause I'm the mayor's son. And I'm like, you can't tell me what to do, I'm the mayor's... wait.

Jenny: *laughs* Puh-lease, you guys are walking in cake with that talk. You guys don't even know what bad is until you have a sister. Look, I don't know why I have to spell it out that I'm the evil twin and she's the good one! Don't ask me to help you with your homework, I'm at some metal concert.

Steven: Family stuff is tricky.

(The kids nod in agreement.)

Steven: A few months back, my dad and the Gems grounded me from TV.

Buck Dewey: That's the worst.

Sour Cream: Bummer.

Jenny: No way!

Steven: And then I found out that the Gems are alien rebels, and there are other Gems out there that want us dead because they think we're traitors. And they tried to take me hostage because they think I'm my mom. And maybe I kinda am? *sighs* I wish I could talk to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl about it, but I think they kinda blame me for my mom not being around.

(silence)

Jenny: *turns off radio* That's heavy.

Steven: I guess.

Buck Dewey: But you always seem so upbeat. You're a real champ, Steven Universe.

Sour Cream: Yeah. I'd turn to fishing in a heartbeat if it meant not dealing with thaaaaat! *points*

(Car screeches to a halt.)

Sour Cream: Look at that!

Jenny: What?! What did I hit?! What is it?!

Sour Cream: Glowing.

(Shows green aura in field.)

Sour Cream: We gotta check it out.

Buck Dewey: I'm down.

Jenny: Alright, hold on. *shifts car into field*

(Skips to Jenny, Steven, Sour Cream, and Buck Dewey walking towards the light.

Sour Cream: That's, like, as bright as like 600 glowsticks.

(The kids see crater with Peridot's escape pod inside.)

Steven: Peridot's escape pod. *inhales* Okay, everybody step back. This is a gem machine and could be extremely dangerous.

Sour Cream: Check it out.

Steven: What are you doing?!

Sour Cream: *throws rock onto pod* Boom!

Steven: Whoa, stop! Peridot might still be in there.

Buck Dewey: Peri-what?

Jenny: This biz is empty.

Buck Dewey: *laughs* It looks so busted.

Steven: You need to get away from there!

Jenny: You need to relax. It's not doing anything.

Steven: It's not just the pod. This means Peridot is just out there somewhere, trying to hurt the earth!

Buck Dewey: Not cool, Earth forever! *kicks the pod*

Sour Cream: Here come the rocks! *dumps rocks on pod*

Jenny: Steven, come take a selfie with me and this thing.

Steven: No, Jenny, I'm serious.

Jenny: So am I. Sour Cream, what about you?

Sour Cream: Sure, I'm down with whatever.

Jenny: Buck?

Buck Dewey: Nah, I like to just experience the moment for what it is sometimes. Plus the lighting is weird.

Jenny: Ugh, okay. Steven. Last call. I got funny stickers.

(The kids have a selfie montage; Steven appears stiff at first but gradually becomes more comfortable.)

Jenny: Uhh, these are so good!

Steven: How do I look?

Jenny: You look great, look, stay right there, I'm going to take one more... *gasps* Steven, you should get in there.

Steven: What?

Jenny: Just for a second, one picture.

(The kids laugh as Steven climbs in the pod.)

Jenny: Okay,ready! 3, 2...

(Jenny takes pictures of him in the pod as Steven activates it.)

Sour Cream: Dude!

Jenny: Oh my gosh, Steven! Whaaaaaa. This is so cool!

Steven: (Starts walking in pod) Whooooaaaaaaaa.

Jenny: Steven, how are you doing that?

Steven: (More rustling in the pod. Gasps.) I think it listens to what my hands do. I really shouldn't be playing with this. I have to take this back to the Temple immediately.

Jenny: No way, you just got it working!

Buck Dewey: C'mon, aren't you your own mom? You can do whatever you want.

Sour Cream: Yeah, you gotta do some donuts in that thing!

Buck Dewey: At least a dozen, baker's dozen.

Jenny: Seriously, Steven, you've been under a lot of pressure. Don't you think you deserve to have a little fun?

(It goes into a montage of the kids playing with the pod. Racing, riding, dancing, etc.)

Jenny: You really got the hang of that thing, huh?

Steven: (Laughs) Yeah, it always hooks to the left. I should really get it back to the gems though. (Cool Kids say no in unison.) ...Right after I jump that haystack!

The Cool Kids: Yeah, do it! Go, Steven! Yeah, whoo! *laugh*

Steven: (Jumps haystack.) I'm okay! (Giggles.) It's not actually so bad if you give it a little... (Punches top of pod.)

(Pod closes up.)

Steven: Aah!

Jenny: Steven?

(A shockwave sends the kids backwards.)

Steven: Guys?

(Green transparent liquid like the one the robonoids use fills the pod. Steven holds his breath, thinking he won't be able to breathe inside the liquid. Shortly afterwards, Steven exhales and discovers he can breathe inside the liquid. The pod shoots lasers everywhere and also sends out a flare. The kids run everywhere and scream.)

Jenny: Steven! What's going on?

Steven: Guys!

(The Crystal Gems arrive.)

Pearl: I knew it! That flare led us right to the escape pod!

Amethyst: What's going on here?!

The Cool Kids: Help! Over here!

Steven: Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!

Pearl: We'll save you, humans! (Throws her spear through the pod.) I can't believe it. Peridot's still inside.

Garnet: She's probably weak from the landing. Don't hold back!

Amethyst: Got it!

(Pearl throws another spear through the pod. Amethyst grabs it with her whip.)

The Cool Kids: Wait! No!

Steven: Whoa!

Garnet: You got a lotta nerve taking refuge here. Of all places! (grabs whip and starts pulling pod down.)

Steven: Garnet?

Garnet: But I don't know where you get off attacking defenseless humans in your dead-beat escape pod. (Continues to pull it down.)

Steven: Garnet! It's me, Steven, can you hear me? Garnet!

Garnet: And if you think you're safe here, well I got news for you. You lost! Now! (Readies her gauntlets and prepares to punch the pod.

Steven: Garnet, Garnet, Garnet!

Garnet: Stay off my planet! (Throws fist at pod.)

Jenny: (Steps in front of Garnet's gauntlet.) Stop! (Gasping) Steven's in there.

(Garnet sees Steven and breaks escape pod.)

Amethyst and Pearl: Steven!

Amethyst: What were you doing?

Pearl: You found Peridot's escape pod and didn't come get us immediately!?

Amethyst: Dude, we almost wrecked you.

Garnet: Steven, this is unacceptable. I'm very disappointed in you.

Steven: *sighs* You're right..

(The Cool Kids run up in front of him.)

Jenny: Hey, cut him some slack!

Buck Dewey: It's not his fault!

Sour Cream: Just let him be a DJ!

Pearl: Wha—?

Sour Cream: We just wanted Steven to have some fun. I don't know what's going on with aliens trying to abduct him, and him being his own mom. But it sounds like he's got a lot on his mind.

Jenny: I'm sure whatever you're having him do is important, but everyone needs a break once in a while.

Buck Dewey: He's just a kid.

Pearl: *sighs* Maybe we have been a little hard on him.

Amethyst: He did just break us out of space jail.

Garnet: *with a stern expression* Steven, *smiles* you're ungrounded from TV.

(Steven, who is astonished, smiles, goes up to Garnet and hugs her. This leads to another selfie montage, which ends the episode, with Sour Cream saying: "I'm invincible!" as he throws another rock at the wrecked escape pod)

[End]