The Ex

Dinner Date



 * Gumball, slow down. You'll get brain freeze.
 * I'll be fine. It's my special skill. I can eat as much ice cream as I want and never get--




 * --brain freeze. Uhh... how'd we get here?
 * So, how about an ice cream?
 * So, how about an ice cream?




 * It's my mortal enemy, Rob! Do you think he saw me? Have I ever told you about Rob?
 * Yeah, once or twice.




 * And then Rob tried to blow up the dam, and then he said "I am your nemesis!" but in a cool British accent that I actually gave him.




 * This reminds me of that time the bus went through the tunnel as Rob tried to blow it up, but obviously I thwarted him by wrestling on the wing of a plane.




 * And then I saw Rob in the mall and explained to Penny about how like, Rob's my nemesis.
 * Yeah, Gumball, that's right now.
 * Oh.




 * He's gone into the hardware store! He's probably getting stuff for me, you know, stuff to destroy me with. Oh my gosh, he can't see me here! What's he buying? Oh, don't tell me. No, tell me! No, don't tell me! Just give me a clue. Okay, two clues!
 * Mmm... he seems to be buying a circular saw.
 * Is the blade diamond edged?
 * No, just a regular blade.
 * That's okay, we're not there yet.
 * Wait! He's leaving. I think he's getting a coffee.
 * Looks like someone wants to stay up all night creating plans to destroy me.
 * It's decaf.
 * Oh... Looks like someone wants to sleep well so he can wake up early and create plans to destroy me.
 * What is it with you two?
 * We're nemesises. Nemesisses? Nemesis?
 * Nemeses.
 * You wouldn't understand.
 * You have one unread threatening message.
 * It's from Rob! I'm too excited, you read it!
 * "I hate you more than anything in the world."
 * "I'm gonna smoosh you out of your yellow skin."
 * Okay, he's color-blind. He never mentioned that before, but secrets are fine!
 * "I hate your slimy bananary guts."
 * It's a bit weird to call my guts bananary, but let's just go with it.
 * "You are my nemesis, Banana Joe?"
 * It's a weird new nickname for me, but it's still good to know he's thinking about me.
 * I don't think that message was for you.
 * It's obviously just some sort of mistake. I'll just ask Rob.
 * Are you okay? You're walking kinda strange.
 * No, this is my normal, casual walk and my normal, casual whistle.
 * Oh, hey Rob. You didn't see me there.
 * What?
 * You'll laugh at this. I got a threatening message from you, and uh, Penny here says it isn't for me.
 * Oh, you got that message. This is awkward... um, that-that wasn't for you.
 * Told you.
 * Yeah, I-I should've let you know. The thing is, I'm nemes-ing someone else now.
 * What?
 * Yeah, that message was for Banana Joe. He's kinda my new nemesis.
 * You're not making any sense!
 * Look, I try to end you, you try to end me. You save me, I save you. It got complicated. I need something more simple right now.
 * Oh, and Banana Joe is simple?! Okay, so I'll give you that. But I thought we had something!
 * I guess you and I just kind of... drifted together. Banana Joe's just easier to hate.
 * You gonna be okay?
 * Gumball? Gumball!
 * I'm fine.
 * I guess you and I just kind of... drifted together. Banana Joe's just easier to hate.
 * You gonna be okay?
 * Gumball? Gumball!
 * I'm fine.
 * Gumball? Gumball!
 * I'm fine.

Exes and Foes

 * He doesn't want to be my nemesis anymore!
 * Well, I'm sure he still hates you. He's just not... in hate with you.
 * I just don't want to go back out there on the hating scene.
 * Don't worry, I'm sure there's someone out there that wants to destroy you. Irate neighbors, outraged friends, humiliated teachers, the list is endless.
 * And with Darwin away too, I just... feel so neglected.
 * I'm not away. I've been here the whole ti--
 * You've got no idea what it's like to feel under-appreciated!
 * I think I do.
 * I think I do.




 * Maybe it's Rob!
 * Gumball!
 * But it could be him!
 * No.
 * But--
 * No.
 * But--
 * No!
 * How did he do that?
 * Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah, sure. Uh, so I'll see you at three tomorrow for you nemesis interview, um... Pied Piper?
 * Really, the Pied Piper? That's the best nemesis you could come up with? I don't even want to get into the fact that you're only wearing underpants and speaking into a TV remote.
 * Oh.
 * What can I do for you?
 * Seeing as I'm now someone else's nemesis, I don't really need this stuff anymore. It's some photos of you taken on long-distance lens, batteries from your smoke alarm. You know, that kinda thing.
 * Oh, thank you. I'll just check it's all here. Yep, that all seems to be in order.
 * Right. Anyway, I better be going.
 * Standing right here.
 * Huh?
 * Right in front of you, babe.
 * Uhh, what are you doing?
 * You used to hate this song.
 * Hm. Not anymore.
 * That's right, straight into my trap.
 * Hey, Rob.
 * Whatcha doin'?
 * Uh, I'm kind of in the middle of something.
 * I see you got some scissors there. Well, I was gonna ride my bike through some heavy traffic. It would be terrible if someone were to cut my brakes.
 * Yep. That would be super dangerous if somebody did that. I'd be obliterated. I mean, there'd be nothing left of me.
 * They'd have to use my dental records to figure out who I was. Yeah, it would be terrible if someone, you know, cut my brakes.
 * Never mind.
 * Rob? Rob?! Rob?
 * Excuse me? I don't mind cutting your brakes.
 * What? Weirdo!
 * I see you got some scissors there. Well, I was gonna ride my bike through some heavy traffic. It would be terrible if someone were to cut my brakes.
 * Yep. That would be super dangerous if somebody did that. I'd be obliterated. I mean, there'd be nothing left of me.
 * They'd have to use my dental records to figure out who I was. Yeah, it would be terrible if someone, you know, cut my brakes.
 * Never mind.
 * Rob? Rob?! Rob?
 * Excuse me? I don't mind cutting your brakes.
 * What? Weirdo!
 * Excuse me? I don't mind cutting your brakes.
 * What? Weirdo!

Cease and Desist

 * And here's your burger, sir.
 * But I didn't order one.
 * It's from a secret admirer.
 * Oh! How nice!
 * That's it. Just one bite, and it's bye-bye--
 * Oh!
 * Huh?
 * Mustn't forget to take out the pickle.
 * Just one bite, and it's bye-bye--
 * Oh!
 * Mustn't forget to take out the onions.
 * Just one bite--
 * Oh! Mustn't forget to take out the sesame seeds. One, two, three...
 * What's he got that I haven't?
 * Is it his voice? Is that it? 'Cause I can change. I can do his voice, easy. Hello Rob, I'm Banana Joe. I'm the poor man's Gumball.
 * Hmph!
 * Look, I can be annoying.
 * Ha! That's gotta be annoying, right? Hit with a spitty straw right in the face! That's gotta be ex-straw-dinarily annoying.
 * Twenty-one...
 * Oh come on! That joke was terrible! Fine, you want me to go full Banana Joe? 'Cause I'll do it!
 * Twenty-seven. Huh?  Gumball Watterson, you've been served.
 * Apparently making terrible jokes, jumping around, and replacing song lyrics with the word "banana" is a breach of intellectual property rights. Ay caramba!
 * Argh! I can't believe it!
 * You're annoyed at me?!
 * No, Banana Joe! He makes me so angry! All that planning, and he didn't touch the burger! Or even let me finish my supervillain quip!
 * It was gonna be, "Bye-bye, banana," right? I'll eat the burger! Look! Oh. It didn't do any--
 * Twenty-seven. Huh?  Gumball Watterson, you've been served.
 * Apparently making terrible jokes, jumping around, and replacing song lyrics with the word "banana" is a breach of intellectual property rights. Ay caramba!
 * Argh! I can't believe it!
 * You're annoyed at me?!
 * No, Banana Joe! He makes me so angry! All that planning, and he didn't touch the burger! Or even let me finish my supervillain quip!
 * It was gonna be, "Bye-bye, banana," right? I'll eat the burger! Look! Oh. It didn't do any--
 * It was gonna be, "Bye-bye, banana," right? I'll eat the burger! Look! Oh. It didn't do any--

My Hate Will Go On

 * What am I gonna do? All the cool guys have nemesesies.
 * Like who?
 * That boy wizard who had that creepy ginger dude following him around.
 * That wasn't his nemesis.
 * Really? He never helped.
 * I've got my nemesis.
 * Who?
 * Don't get him started.
 * Dude, it's a hat.
 * That's just what he wants you to think.
 * Maybe you should just accept it and turn over a new leaf. I mean, it's not like...
 * Maybe I should just accept it and turn over a new leaf.
 * You guys should just be friends.
 * Maybe we should just be friends! Don't worry, I came up with a much better idea while you were blabbering on. Me and Rob are gonna be friends.
 * That is literally what I just said.
 * Aww, we make such a great team.
 * Joe sweetie, when you're finished dancing to no music, don't forget to take out the trash.
 * Okay, Mom!
 * Hey buddy!
 * What?!
 * Oh nothing. Just wanted to hang out. You know, like friends?
 * What?
 * Yeah, I'm just here to help.
 * I booby-trapped his house.
 * What?
 * I booby-trapped his house. To help a buddy out. You know, buddies?
 * Oh. When's it gonna go off?
 * Any minute now.
 * So... why are we watching this house?
 * Because it's where Banana Joe lives?
 * Oh, then who's house did I--
 * WHY?!
 * Oh, Tobias.
 * Never mind. I've rigged Banana Joe's front door handle so that when he opens it to take out the trash, it unhooks a latch on the back of the truck down the street, releasing the oil drums, which will roll down the sidewalk towards him. So just as he lifts the lid, he is obliterated.
 * Wow. You really explained that in a lot of unnecessary detail.
 * Shh. Here he comes.
 * Huh?
 * Agh, what are you doing?! Turn it off!
 * I was gonna take a photo but I switched the torch on by mistake!
 * What is wrong with you?!
 * Did you see that?
 * Uh, yeah.
 * So... What are you doing?
 * Just chilin' with my buddy, Rob. In a bush. Right, Rob?
 * What is wrong with you?! You just ruined the whole thing for me again! I don't believe it! You've got to be the most insufferable, annoying, selfish person I've ever met!
 * Go on.
 * In fact, I think I really, really, REALLY...
 * Say it.
 * HATE YOU!
 * You see, Darwin? It's all bout keeping the hatred interesting. I mean, it's no big deal, but he did say he'd hate me forever.
 * Wow! That's a big commitment.
 * I've smoothed things over with Penny as well. I couldn't find any cards that said, "Sorry I spent all this time ignoring you because I was trying to get some dude to hate me."
 * So what did you do?
 * Thank goodness! I couldn't breathe in there!
 * Yeah, I couldn't find any balloons either. So, it looks like you made up with your nemesis too.
 * What do you mean?
 * The hat?
 * HE'S GOT ME!
 * You see, Darwin? It's all bout keeping the hatred interesting. I mean, it's no big deal, but he did say he'd hate me forever.
 * Wow! That's a big commitment.
 * I've smoothed things over with Penny as well. I couldn't find any cards that said, "Sorry I spent all this time ignoring you because I was trying to get some dude to hate me."
 * So what did you do?
 * Thank goodness! I couldn't breathe in there!
 * Yeah, I couldn't find any balloons either. So, it looks like you made up with your nemesis too.
 * What do you mean?
 * The hat?
 * HE'S GOT ME!
 * What do you mean?
 * The hat?
 * HE'S GOT ME!