Friends with Benefits


 * [Dylan gets a call during a staff meeting]
 * Jamie: Hey, baby where are you? Are you still at work?
 * Dylan: No! Not even close.
 * Jamie: Just so you know, the movie starts in ten minutes.
 * Dylan: I know.
 * [as he’s dropped his coffee on his pants he turns to his co-worker]
 * Dylan: Give me your pants.
 * Male Co-Worker: What?
 * Dylan: Buy you lunch tomorrow. Come on!
 * Male Co-Worker: No.
 * Dylan: I’m your boss. Give me your pants.
 * Jamie: Please, try not to be late really hate missing the beginning.
 * [the co-worker stands and takes off his pants revealing that he has not underpants on]
 * Dylan: I know. I know.
 * [Dylan turns to another male co-worker]
 * Dylan: Give me your pants.
 * [still talking on his cell as he gets out of the office and jumps into his car]
 * Dylan: I’m almost there.
 * Jamie: How far away?
 * [driving in his car as fast as he can]
 * Dylan: I think I see you.
 * Jamie: Where are you? I’m here.
 * Dylan: So am I! So many people. What are you wearing?
 * Jamie: I’m wearing the only clothes outside the theater. Because I’m the only person outside the theater!
 * Dylan: I love that outfit. You look so sexy in that.
 * [we see Jamie standing outside the movie theater talking on her cell phone]
 * Jamie: You know I love this movie! If a prostitute and a ruthless business man can fall in love, then anyone can.
 * [we see Dylan running and talking on this cell phone]
 * Dylan: I know this means a lot to you. Which means it means a lot to me.
 * Jamie: Well, apparently it doesn’t.
 * Dylan: I’m looking at you right now. I can see you!
 * [Jamie hears her name being called turns to see her date which we now realize is not Dylan]
 * [referring to Dylan arriving late to the John Mayer concert]
 * Kayla: Here’s an idea. Next time, instead of being late, just shit on my face. Cause that’s kind of the same thing as missing ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’.
 * Quincy: I just feel should chill for a while, you know?
 * Jamie: You’re doing this?
 * Jamie: You said I was your soul mate!
 * Quincy: I did! When?
 * Jamie: When we were at that Bed & Breakfast having sex.
 * Quincy: But you know, that doesn’t…
 * Jamie: That doesn’t what?
 * Quincy: Count.
 * [she hits the sandwich she’d made him out of his hand]
 * [as Kayla is breaking up with Dylan]
 * Dylan: I was tied up at work. I’m sorry.
 * Kayla: Maybe you should care a little bit less about work and a little more about the girl you’re dating? Cause last time I checked, work doesn’t reassure you that liking a finger up your ass doesn’t make you gay!
 * Dylan: I never said, go up! Okay? I just said, lightly around. It’s like a…like a little button. You know what? Not your issue anymore.
 * Jamie: Is this why you were late? You were worried about how to break up with me?
 * Quincy: Oh! No! No! I was trying to decide what to wear.
 * Jamie: So you went with sneakers and a hoodie?
 * Quincy: Yeah.
 * Jamie: What, are you gonna take the S.A.T’s after this?
 * Quincy: Don’t lash out, okay? You’re better than that.
 * Jamie: I’m really not.
 * Kayla: I just think we’re heading in different directions.
 * Dylan: Yeah. You to the John Mayer concert and me not! Thank you, for doing this before the concert by the way. Best break up.
 * [then mouths the word ‘ever’]
 * Kayla: He is the Sheryl Crow of our generation!