Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot


 * Alan: Hey, Gretchie.
 * Gretchen: I don't want to talk to you right now.
 * Larry: Gretchen's still mad at you, but I'm on your side, Jeff. Bros before hoes.
 * Alan: Oh, uh, oh, good, you're, uh, you're all here. Because I have something to say to everyone.
 * Lyndsey: Are you sure, Jeff? Some things are better left unsaid.
 * Alan: I love you so much, I-I can't imagine my life without you.
 * Gretchen: Just stop.
 * Alan: Maybe this will help.
 * Gretchen: Okay, I appreciate the gesture, but looking for change together isn't gonna work this time.
 * Alan: The only change I want is for us to be husband and wife.
 * All: What?!
 * Alan: Gretchen Martin, will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Alan Harper?
 * Larry: Oh, my God! My sister and my best-- Wait a minute. Who the hell is Alan Harper?
 * Lyndsey: Larry, look, boobs!