Ship of Vipers

1 - Previously on Dynasty - I intend to spend every dime I have before they put me in the ground. - What do you want? - Get my money, or I'm going to the cops! Just take it. That's what you came here for, isn't it? OFFICE ASSISTANT: You are so obsessed with that family. Maybe you should claim to be the real Cristal Flores. I may have gotten someone pregnant. SAM: This baby is exactly what I need. You're unbelievable, Sam. I'll tell you what's unbelievable. The fact that a pre-menopausal woman got knocked up by a gay man she slept with once. ANDERS: The reason I sent you away was because I thought you would be better off in Australia with your mother. I still think that's the case. Kirby Anders all grown up. Thanks for letting me crash. - Uncle Max. - I'm sure Liam mentioned that once you get on my bad side, you'll wish you never heard of the Van Kirks. I'm lucky to have Liam's help, then. He's lucky he has a wife who's heir to an empire I want to buy. Fallon Carrington, will you finally do me the honor of being my wife? Uncle Max is flying us to see the rest of my family. They can't wait to meet my wife. FALLON: Okay, so we've covered your - Great-Uncle Roger. - Yup. Your cousins Carter and Marsha. Is there anyone else you need to warn me about before I meet the entire Van Kirk clan? I mean, I have a niece, Emily, but she's like every girl you ever went to prep school with. And can you tell me why your uncle has so many enemies that he needs armed guards? I think it's more about the quality of enemies versus quantity. That makes me feel better. Now you know why I live in Atlanta. But I do love my family, and Max's wife Mora is really sweet. Though I, uh I think she might still be away at the spa. Oh, I know that code. Listen, let's just get through this, get Max to sign the contract so your family can finally own Carrington Atlantic, and I can stop having to memorize the quirks of your relatives. I'm on board. But since my entire family thinks that we're married, we might have to actually kind of act like we like each other. We can just hold hands. Whoa! That thing is sharp. What happened to the ring I gave you? Culhane replaced it with this one. He proposed to me last night. I said yes. - (phone ringing) - Oh. - Hi. - MICHAEL: Hey, how's it going, babe? I confirmed with the Plaza. Liam and I have separate rooms, and we're not even on the same floor. Fallon, we're engaged. I trust you. That's not why I'm calling. Apparently, your father has some announcement. After sleeping on it, I realize we should talk about what happened at the anniversary party. FALLON: I'm glad you finally came to your senses. That whole "Blake Time" thing was so embarrassing. - Apology accepted. - BLAKE: Oh, I am not apologizing. Blake Time is real. Did you have Anders trademark it? I spent the morning mapping out how I'm going to spend all of my money or die trying, which includes changing my will and cutting - you all out of it. - SAM: What? - I just got in it. - Are you kidding? No, I am not. After the sale of the company goes through, you'll all have plenty of money, which means you will get no more from me, including after I am dead. That's eternal Blake Time. Tell them what happens next. Mr. Carrington has directed that any money left over will be buried with him in the mausoleum. In case they take cash in hell? Do we need to get a 72-hour psych hold? I have never been saner. Morning. Hmm. (sighs) When did you sneak out? Oh, yeah. More than once. Didn't you hear them? Mother, you realize I can see your nipples from New York, right? Would you like me to get you a robe? I am perfectly comfortable. Does this mean we can eat now? Does this mean I can go now? Um, me, too. BLAKE: You can do whatever you want. Anders and I will be spending the day replacing the cars I lost in the fire. Did you two do anything exciting last night? MONICA: Oh, good. You made coffee. I've been up since 5:00 trying to get everything done for tomorrow night. DJ's booked, you hired extra security. Are you forgetting something? If I could think of it, it wouldn't be forgotten. Look, you only get to open this club once with our name on it. I get that you built your fortune on an app that never even saw the light of day, and like you, I want to build a real name for us, apart from the Carringtons, but you've got to trust me. - Okay? - (door closes) - I've got this. - KIRBY: Monica? It's me Kirby Anders. Ah. It's so good to see you. - Um, I just came out to get some clothes. - Yeah. You could definitely use some. Um, Jeff has been telling me all about the club you guys are opening. Congrats. - Thanks. - He also mentioned that you might need some extra help, and I worked at a ton of clubs back home. It's like karma. You need help, I need a job. I think you mean kismet. And the last time I saw you, you were being exiled from Atlanta for attempted arson. If you were me, would you hire you? First of all, digging your honesty, but I was never the crazy one. Let me guess. It was Fallon. I heard about what happened between your two families, so who's the common denominator here? Actually, that was Blake. And Fallon and I are finally in a good place, so don't go here. But you probably could use an extra set of hands, for today at least. - Right? - Fine. But no promises about the future. Whatever you need, I can do it. Uh, I'll-I'll just get changed. (door closes) You slept with Dirty Kirby? Come on. That's just some bitchy nickname Fallon gave her. And the fact that she almost burnt down Carrington Manor? It was a long time ago. Kids love playing with fire. People change. Clearly. Kirby's sleeping with guys now, for one. I'd do it all over again if I could save poor Celia. You mean Cristal Flores? Well, who is she really? A tortured soul with a hard life, stolen identity. (line ringing) It's another one. How can I help you? Yes, um, I'd like to speak to Mr. Blake Carrington if possible. My name is Cristal Jennings. Well, I'm sorry, Miss Jennings, but the Cristal Flores gravy train has left the station. Good luck next time. No. No, you don't understand. If I could just talk to Mr. Blake Carrington. The answer is no. (click, dial tone) (sighs) (knocking) Sam, what are you doing up here? I can't stop thinking about what you told me. I'm worried Melissa Daniels is a liar. You should be. She is a lying, thieving predator. The thing I didn't tell you is that she slept with Steven when he was only 18. Was that before or after you slept with her husband? You know, the point is, she's not getting any money in the divorce, so when she looks at Steven, she sees dimples and dollar signs. I have doubts that she's pregnant with anything other than carbs, but we can't tell Steven until we have proof. He'll think that I'm petty and vindictive. I can't imagine why. (phone chiming) Well, you know what they say. Keep your enemies close, so ingratiate yourself with Melissa, and maybe she'll slip up and we'll catch her in a lie. This is insane. I'm not a detective. Well, maybe you can be now. Law & Order: Fashion Victim. (crowd chatter) Thank you. Aw, thanks. Yours, too. I hope you know that half that wedding present money is mine, right? Well, maybe if you're lucky. - Thank you. - Hi. - (whispers): Hey. - Mmm What are you trying to do consummate the marriage right here? - MAX: Fallon. - Oh, Uncle Max. Hi! Come here. Come here. Come here. - (laughs) - Hey. Wow. Max, let the poor girl go. You're suffocating her. Liam. Aunt Mora. And this must be Fallon Carrington. Are those extensions? Uh no. All mine. Nice to meet you. MAX: Um, I would like to make a toast. To the marriage of the Van Kirks and the Carringtons, both personally and once I sign the paperwork - professionally. - (applause) - Cheers. - OTHERS: Cheers. And I'd like to add just a few words of my own. As some of you may know, I've been away for the last couple of months, recovering from exhaustion, so I just found out about all of this. I may not have a vote in this acquisition, but I do have an opinion. And I think we would be foolish to get mixed up with this kind of new money. New money? My great-grandfather started Carrington Atlantic, and we just celebrated our hundredth year. Doesn't make you old money. It just makes you lucky. And your father is clearly an imbecile. Why else would he leave the company in the hands of some diamond-encrusted CEO Barbie? Okay, that's enough, Mora. Darling, I agree. Our family should kill this deal today. Or else I'll go to the press tomorrow and kill it myself. But in the meantime, congrats to the happy couple. (sighs) - I've forgotten how fun it is to register. - Right? - Yes. - It is the best part of getting married. - (laughs) - Second best. MELISSA: Oh, here, Steven. You pick something you like. (sighs) Yeah, um Oh, yeah. This bouncy bungee cord thing could be fun, right? Yeah. It-it's possibly an accident waiting to happen. Yeah, I'm not even sure why they're selling that. Great. Good to know my fatherly instincts are right on the money. I mean, to be fair, I don't think that my dad knew what to do with us until we were all old enough to golf, and even then MELISSA: You're gonna be a great father, Steven. And our baby's already so lucky just to be a Carrington. SAM: So, how are you feeling these days, Melissa? 'Cause you look perfectly fine. It's almost weird that you haven't been sick all the time, isn't it? Well, the first trimester was not pretty. Believe me. - Mm. - Oh, have you thought more about tomorrow night? The prenatal meditation class? I thought that was more of a mother/baby thing. Are you kidding? That sounds amazing. - We-we could host it here. - (gasps) We never have enough pregnant women around the manor, and could be fun. And real bonding time for all of us. I love it. Just let me think about it. BLAKE: What are you driving these days, Anders? Maybe it's time we get you some new wheels. Hey. What about this Bel Air right here? Well, very generous, but completely unnecessary. Mm. That is where we disagree. Wasn't kidding about spending all my money. Anything looking good, Mr. Carrington? Everything looks good, Charlie. Here's the list of cars that I need to replace. That's a tough break with that fire. Well, that's what I get for storing my cars in a stable. What can you tell me about those two gull-wings? Those back there? I think, uh, Mr. Anders here has his eye on one. Exquisite. Takes you back, doesn't it? Which one were you looking at? Well, both of them. I'd like to corner the market. Well, there is one more left, actually, that's in circulation with a private collector in Florida. Anders? Looks like we'll be making some phone calls to Florida. LIAM: She's usually very sweet, - I promise. - Oh, yeah. Real bag of sugar. MAX: Everything is fine. Mora just had a long flight. She's exhausted. I have to apologize for my wife. I don't care what you do as long as the deal isn't in jeopardy. Well, not anymore, thanks to me. Well, then you are officially my favorite of the Van Kirks. - (chuckles) - No offense, sweetie. Did she say why she freaked out? Apparently, her family had some business dealings with your father in the past that didn't go over so well. I knew nothing about that. But once I told her he didn't approve of the deal, - she perked right up. - Well, look at that. My dad acting like a complete ass finally pays off for me. - (laughing) - It only took 25 years. So, now can we sign the contract - and move forward? - What is it with you? Nothing but business, business, business. We're in New York. Let's celebrate, okay? You got to be getting sick and tired - of that Southern food. - (chuckles) Okay, fine. But we are stopping at Bergdorf's. Barbie needs to change her outfit. Yeah-eah-eah-eah I lay hands, I'm gonna break you I'm a real low, mad chick in the making Wise girlfriends, they usually hate me 'Cause I'm sick, slick, and I know how to make beats Logic gone dead 'cause you know I'm gonna get it Sorry, but I thought these guys would work a little harder if there was a bit more energy. - Wait, what? - I was just saying that I finished everything you asked me to do. And I even started to consolidate the guest list. Hope you don't mind. You know, initiative and all that. That guest list is worthless. I mean, you didn't even look at it. And I used a special font. Migos is playing a surprise show at Purgatory tomorrow night. I don't understand. Migos. They're a hip-hop group. I'm from Australia, not Antarctica. But what's, uh, Purgatory? A club three blocks from here. This is not coincidence. It's sabotage. - So what are we gonna do? - We aren't gonna do anything. I'm gonna call a booker friend of mine and see who I can get to play here in 24 hours' notice. Hold down the fort. I'm gonna fix this. I want my million, not some picture. As much as I value your knowledge of fine art, Hank, this is not just a picture. It's a Rembrandt. But when do I get actual money? Being an idiot is not gonna make it happen any faster. - This painting is collateral. - Well, great. So, where do I sell it? Some kind of art store? You don't sell it anywhere, you moron. You couldn't even if you wanted to. Do you not understand what "collateral" means? Maybe not. It means that you hold onto this until I get you the money next month, and then you give me back the painting, and I return it to Carrington Manor. So I'm not selling it? No! Between the insurance payment and Blake, I will get you real money. But in the meantime, you lay low, you be quiet about our deal, or the two of us are gonna end up in jail. Seems kind of small to be worth anything. Do you have any bigger ones? (sighs) MAX: Wow. I didn't realize my nephew had such good taste. - (chuckles) - How many karats is this? Well, a gentleman never tells. But since I'm not one, I'll tell you it's just a little more than nine. (all laugh) - (phone chimes) - Ah. Excuse me. - Hello? - Well, this has been great, Max. But will you please let me get the bill to thank you for saving the deal? The bill has already been taken care of, dear. But if you really want to thank me, come to my penthouse tomorrow night for dinner. Mora's out at the Hamptons with some girlfriends. LIAM: Sorry about that. Did I miss anything? Just business as usual. I really should get back to the office, but you two You should take her to the Met. They got a couple of new Picassos in. - They're beautiful. - Maybe we'll check it out. Did you know Marie-ThÃ©rÃ¨se Walter was only 17 when Picasso started sleeping with her? He was 45 and married, incidentally. Well, nobody's perfect, right? I suppose we could all forgive a genius for an indiscretion or two. You two have fun, okay? Uh, Max? I think you dropped this. Oh. And it's such a beautiful day. I think we'll check out the park. I'll look forward to hearing from your team soon. Or maybe you'll be hearing from mine. This one keeps you on your toes, doesn't she? (whispers): Oh, yeah. SAM: This is stupid. I followed Melissa through the whole grocery store, and then some old lady hit me in the back with her cart in the freezer aisle. It's definitely gonna bruise. I need you to focus, dear. What did you find out? Well, I don't know what kind of smoking gun you think we're going to find here, but I'm guessing it's not smoked turkey. Or Brie. Now I'm just hungry. She's buying deli meat? A pregnant woman isn't supposed - to eat cold cuts, Sam. - Oh. Or unpasteurized cheeses. And where there's smoked turkey, there's fire. - We could do the Empire Club. - You're a member? Only to impress the girls. Maybe 8:00? We can toast to your success. I think I should make an early night tonight. We can celebrate when the deal's closed. Yeah, of course. - Don't want to jinx anything. - Right. (phone chimes) Do you know Northstone? Northstone Oil? Of course. Apparently, my uncle's having dinner with them tonight. What? But why would he need to take another meeting with an energy company when he's about to own Carrington Atlantic? I don't know. Maybe Mora's getting in his ear again. I mean, everything seemed great when we left lunch. Sorry to disturb you. Well, actually, you're just the man I wanted to see. I think we should build a track for those cars. Custom. Just for us to race. Well, I'll get right onto it. I've been tracking the third gull-wing. The buyer, as it turns out, is in Atlanta. And it may be a coincidence What is it? The buyer's Jeff Colby. What the hell does he want with that car? Well, I think it's less about the cars and more about you, sir. - Hi. - I'm here to see Mr. Van Kirk. And no, he's not expecting me. Fallon. I just took my sleeping pill. I have an early flight. I was looking for your husband. I'm sure you were. I'm sorry to just show up unannounced. It's just I needed to discuss some of the details of our transaction, and it's time-sensitive. Does Liam know you're here? - We hadn't discussed it. - Well, Max and I discuss everything. He told me what you did, you know. I'm sorry, what did I do? He told me you made a pass at him in Atlanta. You're kidding, right? Do you think you're the first little tramp to go after my husband? They all think he's an easy mark. Handsome, rich, older man, stuck in a stale marriage. But you're married to his nephew, for God's sake. If you don't have respect for yourself, at least have some respect for Liam. Look, I don't know what your husband told you, but he's the one who's been crossing lines, not me. And clearly he's gotten to your head if you think for one (scoffs) MAX: Fallon. It's a little late to be talking business, isn't it? You're right. Why don't we talk tomorrow night. Leave that key with the doorman. I'll be there. (indistinct chatter) Good night. - Drive safe. - Thank you. - Hold up, hold up. - Oh, I'm so sorry. - I know you're closing, - Mm-hmm. but I think I left my I. D. in the bathroom. Can I please just run in and check? I'll be really quick. My Uber's gonna leave. (sighs) All right, go ahead. Thank you so much. (rats squeaking) I'm gonna call you Fallon. How many people should I be expecting for this, uh, meditation class tonight? Sammy mentioned something about it being hosted here. Yeah, he's really embraced this whole baby thing. I'm starting to think it's not such a good idea. The meditation class? Or the whole baby thing? I never have been very good at meditation. I don't want to screw up another kid with all of this. Well, I can assure you, you will. Thanks for the honesty, I guess. All parents screw up their kids. I certainly did. I'm sure this place had something to do with it. Well, it didn't do any favors. Uh it's too late now. You owe it to this baby to give it your best. And you owe it to yourself. I'll call Melissa, find out how many people are coming. Ooh. Cubano. Just trust me. Huh? It's pretty good. I used to walk through here on a break when I was writing my book. If my family knew, they probably would've torn up the whole block. Speaking of your family, have you talked to your uncle today? Called him this morning. Turns out it was just a big misunderstanding. I guess the Northstone guys heard about the C. A. acquisition and they asked for the meeting. So he said he took it - just as a courtesy. - So everything's on track, then. He's meeting with his lawyers right now to sign everything. (sighs) That's perfect. Now I don't have to cancel my spa appointment. What, today? I need to get a facial before Monica's tonight. This city clogs my pores. I'll meet you on the plane at 8:00? Yeah. I might go check out that Picasso exhibit. Well, don't forget to take your ring off. You might meet a cute art history major. (chuckles) See you later. Bye. If he can stay in Atlanta for one more night, we'll make it worth his while. But I need to know in the next hour. Yeah. Call me back. Oh, my God. Did you hear about Purgatory? Please don't tell me they got BeyoncÃ©, too. They got shut down. Health code violations. Inspector found rats in the kitchen. How gross is that? Wait a second. So, the health department just happened to be at Purgatory today? Apparently, um, they got an anonymous tip. Did you have anything to do with that? Like I said, it was anonymous. I know how important this place is to you. And I want you to know it means a lot to me that you give me a chance. Well, maybe we can find a place for your initiative around here. FALLON: It's good to see you again, Ali. You look great. - I mean, so New York. - Thank you. I'm still an Atlanta girl at heart. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get into the, - you know - Escort business? Yes. I mean, I assume you weren't doing this at Penley. Oh, God, no. No. I actually came here for fashion. Then I started going to parties and getting requests. Realized I can make more in a month than the lawyers and doctors that I knew. So here we are. Speaking of which, what can I do for you? Let's just say I have a date tonight, one I have no intention of taking to completion, and I need somebody who can fill in. All right. And who's the guy? My uncle. Well, in-law. Sort of. And potential business partner. Long story short, he's a real prize. First, he tries to get in my pants, even though he knows I'm married to his nephew. And then, last night, he convinced his wife that I was the one hitting on him. I didn't sign on to this ship of vipers to become the company whore. I need a contingency plan. You know, somebody on standby. I'll wine and dine him, butter him up. But if he wants more, then I'll tag out and tag her in. And you think he won't know the difference? You'll have to get the right girl, with my measurements. Have her wear this. When he gets laid, I get a very important signature, and your girl gets the biggest payday of her life. Everyone wins. JEFF: Always room for you, my friend. I'm glad to hear you can make it out tonight. Hey, let me call you back. What are you doing here, Blake? What are you doing buying a first-run gull-wing in Florida? Huh? You expect me to believe it was just a coincidence? (chuckles) Charlie and I are friends. We talk. The whole town is talking about your little midlife crisis. No crisis. It was just my turn. My whole life has been about everyone else. You really have the balls to say that to me? I'm not here to relitigate the past. I just want the damn car. You know you just bought it to screw with me. Fine. I'm happy to pay. Just name your price. Not for sale. It's about time you learn what the rest of us had to a long time ago. (chuckles) Can't always get what you want. Fine. I'll race you for it. - Say what, now? - One of my gull-wings against yours. I win, I take your car. You win, you can have both of mine. Why not? But what do you say we raise the stakes a little, hmm? More than just money. Name it. Sorry about yesterday. You caught me off guard. I thought you might be testing me. - Earnest as earnest can be. - (chuckles) I'm just glad you reconsidered. Me, too. And I have to say, I admire your ingenuity, convincing Mora to threaten the deal. Don't worry about Mora. She's in the country house for a week. We've got the whole place to ourselves. I can give you the grand tour, if you'd like. Well, maybe you can show me where you're keeping that signed contract. (chuckles) You - have a one-track mind. - (chuckles) But that's okay. So do I. And I'll have it for you in the morning, barring any unexpected issues. Well In that case, let's stay right here. (clinking) Wow. I have to say, I like your proposal so far. Well, we're just getting started. Mm. (exhales) What are you doing now? Shh. (laughs) The anticipation is killing me. (clicking) Give me your hand. What's that? Just a little jewelry. (laughs) (chuckles) I knew you had some tricks up your sleeve. (chuckles) Well, I might have one more. - (clicking) - (exhales) Ooh. (sighs) Where are you going? Oh. I'm just going to turn on some music. I like a real sensory experience. I like the sound of that. (piano playing jazz) Don't get lost, now. Don't worry, I'm right here. (car engine starts) This is our chance. Let's go. Surveillance is one thing. Breaking and entering is another. It's not breaking if you have a key. How did you even know there was a key under the herb box? We shared a gardener. Let's just say he wet more than her plants. Okay, you know, I-I have to be at that meditation class, too. So maybe we should just go. Sam, this is for Steven. What if she is lying? Doesn't he deserve to know? You check the mail. I'll take the bedroom. (yelps) What? I knew it. What's that? A fake baby bump. But this is way bigger than Melissa's. Well, she must have one for every stage. And I bet you Goldilocks is wearing one right now. Our name looks good in neon. (indistinct chatter) Congratulations, Moni. Expanding the Colby empire. I don't need an empire. I just need to throw a good party. MAN: Ms. Colby, Quan is here. Oh. Right on time. I'm going to make sure everything is ready. You coming? Yeah, I'll be there soon. Just got to take care of something. Don't let that money fool ya Boy, ain't changed We in Miami on Biscayne 40,000 for the big face And they want another 50,000 to bust it down I've been doing this since sixth grade Teachers told me I would never make No money off these words Now I'm not worried 'bout nobody, told that same teacher "Look at me" and I didn't go to college We 'bout to party As we begin, I want to thank you all for bringing your divine energy into this sacred space. She's obviously never been here before. (chuckles) I don't know where Sam is. It's okay. - Relax. - As we consider our intentions for the time and space we have made together, we breathe in the light (inhales) and exhale what is heavy. (exhales) (inhaling) (exhaling) You really went all out. Thought it would be more down and dirty. It's not Tokyo Drift. I don't want to damage the cars. Though that loop-de-loop's pretty filthy. MAN: Rich people are so weird. MAN 2: You know these toy cars cost way more than my real one? Apparently, Carrington saw them at a dealership, and Colby bought one just to screw with him. - Like I said - JEFF: Uh, should we do this or what? I'm all for reliving your childhood, but I got a grown-up party to get back to. First one to the end of the track. Winner takes all. MAN 2: Okay, I got 50 on Carrington. What the hell? I'll take that bet. Make it a hundred. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, y'all. Let's go! - (cheering) - Let's go! (indistinct chatter) - Welcome home. - Thank you. I didn't realize you were bringing a plus-one. Well, I had to come straight from the airport. He offered me a ride. It was only polite to invite him. How's my lipstick? Perfect. I'm gonna go check. (chuckles) - I hear congratulations are in order. - Indeed. I didn't know you were planning on popping the question. Hasn't been that long, right? Four years. Just hope this thing between Fallon and I didn't make you rush into anything. How so? Just that she might not be as excited as you are. (chuckles) She's wearing my ring. I'm good, bro. What about me? I was just saying how gorgeous you look. Oh, well, you always say that. Shall we go in? I think I'm actually gonna head out. - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure. Have fun, guys. Three, two, one. (spectators cheering) Come on, Carrington. Let's go, baby. Let's go! Here we go, Carrington. Here we go! (indistinct shouting and cheering) - I got it. Yeah. - Get off! (indistinct shouting and cheering) No! (whooping) - No! - (whoops) (groans) A bet's a bet. KIRBY: Fallon Carrington? Fancy seeing you here. Well, you remember me, don't you? - Your old mate? - Kirby? What are you doing here? Haven't you heard? I'm back. Wait. Is that my dress? I was supposed to wear that tonight. Yeah. It looks good, doesn't it? And my grandma's necklace? Were you in my house? In my room? Just like old times. Give me my necklace back, psycho. - When I'm done. - When you're done what? Single White Female-ing me? Let's just go upstairs. Hey. - (grunting) - Hey, hey! (both grunting) (bystanders murmuring) - That's right, bitch, come at me! - MICHAEL: Security! INSTRUCTOR: And now, as we fall into the rhythm of our breaths, we can become conscious of our partners - and bring our rhythms into sync. - (door closes, footsteps approach) Where have you been? What are you doing here? I am here to expose you. The jig is up, you lying bitch. Get her, please! Shh, shh, shh. Fallon! (people gasping) Oh. Well, that's My stomach? You know what? Keep it. You think it's your clothes I want? Maybe when I was 12. What the hell do you want? I want everything. Everything you took from me when you had me shipped back to Australia. I'm gonna take your friends, your family, your whole damn world. Is this a joke? It's not my fault. I don't understand. We both saw the fake baby bump in your closet. You broke into her house? MELISSA: I have an event, in two months and I needed to be fitted for my dress ahead of time. I was approximating how big I'll be. And the deli meats, the cheeses? I'm having a dinner party; people need to eat. It's called being a gracious hostess. As much as I'd love to stay here and chat with you about being a law-breaking psycho, your son's baby is pushing on my bladder right now, so I'd like to go home. What the hell is wrong with you? It was an innocent misunderstanding. Maybe we should talk about this later when you're not so upset. This was all her. She manipulated me, and she made me think Melissa was a liar. Don't try to blame this on Alexis. You're a grown man, supposedly. But, no, you chose to believe your crazy mother-in-law instead of trusting your husband. She basically attacked me. You can ask anyone. Or are you gonna try and frame me for this, too? MONICA: I can't believe you'd do this on opening night. You know better than anyone what bad publicity can do. Monica, you need to fire this crazy bitch now. - Excuse me? - Get rid of this lunatic before she burns the place down. You cause a scene, and now you want to tell me how to staff my club? Well, I mean, I am the one that paid for it in the first place. And you'll never let me forget it. So, to solve that problem, here's a check. Seem like you were somebody else For $3. 5 million. That's everything you paid, plus interest. (chuckles) And as far as who I fire, that's my call, 'cause this is my club. And Kirby doesn't even work here. (chuckling) Let's get out of here. Can't say I didn't warn you. That's one down. JEFF: Monica. What is going on? My friends keep texting me that people are fighting? I took care of it while you were out playing kids' games with Blake Carrington, who I thought we were moving on from. So maybe you should just deal with whatever identity crisis you have going on, and leave me alone, okay? I took the liberty of calling the private nurse, sir. I don't need a nurse, Anders. I bruised my hand racing toy cars. I know (gasps) It may be broken. Fortunately, the nurse that I called is waiting for you in your office. I assume, from the injury, that the race didn't work out how you expected? It did not. I lost. Well, I'm relieved to hear it. Excuse me? Well, if you'll excuse the metaphor, you're behaving like a child: throwing tantrums, spinning out of control, all over some toys. I bought those toy cars for you. - For me? - Yeah. They reminded me of the days we spent together racing them when I was a kid. You were always around when my father was, you know, who-knows-where. I was gonna give you the set. Well, I'm touched, sir. Well, they're gone now, so get over it. ALEXIS: Blake, are you okay? I heard you were injured. Ooh. We should get some ice on that. Or is it heat? Anyway, come upstairs. Despite your lengthy stay in hospital, we have a real nurse in there. Good evening. There's been a misunderstanding. I'm not a nurse. I tried to explain to the man at the front gate, but he assumed I was and let me in. And I needed to talk to you. Who are you? My name is Cristal Jennings. I was a friend of your late wife, Cristal Flores. You're the woman on the phone. Oh, God. However you got in here, you can go. - Just tell me how much you want, I'll write you a check. - No, no, no. I don't want anything. (sighs) Here. Look. I think she wanted me to come here and help you. I know that you love me And I think you can help me, too. Though I'm young and stupid JEFF: You sure you're okay? Me? I'm great. I got to show everyone that Fallon is kind of unhinged, and she ripped my dress, which was actually hers. So seems like a win-win. Well, I'm learning that at some point, you got to leave grudges in the past. Otherwise, you start pissing off new people. (doorbell rings) Like Monica who's probably here to chew me out some more. Or fire me from a job I never even had. - (both chuckle) - (door opens) Kirby Anders. That's me. How can I help you? You are under arrest for assaulting Fallon Carrington. I'm just doing what I can You're pretty good at this. What other hidden talents do you have that I don't know about? You'll just have to wait and discover them along the way. Now, if we can just get this deal done, Liam gone I thought you trusted me. - I do. - Okay, then don't worry, babe. I can take care of myself, although I do like it when you take care of me. (phone rings) Oh. This may be the call we've been waiting for. - Hello. - Hello. Is this Fallon? I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. Well, slow down. What's going on? That guy, he was blindfolded and handcuffed, and then he wanted me to gag him. - And then what? - He started freaking out. And so I took out the gag, and then he was turning all red, and he couldn't breathe. He said he was having a heart attack. Well, did you call 911? No. It was all so fast, and then it was too late. He's dead.