Fuller House (Full House)

HEY, STEPH, I JUST CAME FROM MY CONFERENCE WITH YOUR TEACHER. DID YOU HAVE A NICE VISIT? HONEY, EVERYTHING'S FINE. MISS CLAIRE JUST TOLD ME YOU'RE HAVING SOME TROUBLE LEARNING FRACTIONS. I DON'T GET IT. I USED TO BE A MATH WHIZ. NOW I'M A MATH WEENIE. YOU GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE MISS CLAIRE GAVE ME SOME GREAT IDEAS TO SUPPLEMENT EVERYTHING SHE'S DOING IN SCHOOL. YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY IS GONNA TAKE YOU ON A MAGICAL JOURNEY INTO THE EXCITING, WONDERFUL WORLD OF FRACTIONS ALL AROUND US. THEY'RE BACK! THEY'RE BACK! THEY'RE BACK! JESSE AND REBECCA ARE BACK FROM THEIR HONEYMOON? THEY'RE BACK! THEY'RE BACK! THEY'RE BACK! THEY'RE BACK! I JUST SAID THAT! DON'T YOU PEOPLE LISTEN? CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. I MISSED YOU. WHOA! COMET. OH, DOG BREATH. GO BRUSH. STAND BACK. LET ME AT HIM! SHORT STUFF! BIG GUY! YEOW! HOW WAS BORA BORA? IT WAS BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL. I GOT THE WHOLE HONEYMOON ON TAPE. WELL, THE OUTDOOR STUFF. WELL, WE TOOK SOME HOME VIDEOS, TOO. WE FIGURED THAT YOU'D WANT TO SEE EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAPPENED WHILE WE WERE GONE LAST WEEK. START WITH DANNY MAKES TUNA SALAD. YOU'LL LAUGH, YOU'LL CRY. IT'S THE FEEL-GOOD MOVIE OF THE YEAR. JESS, I HATE TO SAY THIS, BUT IF WE'RE GONNA GET YOU PACKED UP AND MOVED OVER TO MY APARTMENT, WE'D BETTER GET STARTED. YEAH. NOW'S AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY. OK. LET'S PACK UP. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? YOU JUST GOT HERE. MICHELLE, I TOLD YOU. NOW THAT I'M MARRIED TO YOUR AUNT BECKY, I'M GONNA LIVE AT AUNT BECKY'S HOUSE NOW. WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH. WELL, YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE TO MISS ME YET. HELP ME PACK. COME ON. MICHELLE, IS SOMETHING WRONG? THIS IS NOT GOOD NEWS. HONEY, WE'RE STILL GONNA BE ONE BIG, HAPPY FAMILY. NOW CHEER UP. IT'S MOVING DAY. WHAT IS MOVING DAY? WELL, THAT'S WHEN WE ALL PUT EVERYTHING INTO BOXES, AND LOAD IT INTO A BIG, RED TRUCK, AND MOVE TO MY APARTMENT. DO YOU WANT TO HELP? YOU GOT IT, DUDE. ALL RIGHT, BABE. WE GOT WORK TO DO. WE'RE MOVING TO AUNT BECKY'S HOUSE. HEY, STEPH, HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOUR FRACTIONS? IT'S HOPELESS. I'LL BE STUCK IN THIRD GRADE FOREVER. I'LL BE THE ONLY CARRYING A BARBIE LUNCH BOX. STEPH, YOU'RE PUTTING WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF. WHY DON'T WE TAKE A LITTLE CUPCAKE BREAK? GOOD IDEA. I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT ONE MORE FRACTION. HEY, I'M WITH YOU. WELL, LET'S SEE. THERE'S TWO OF US AND ONE WHOLE CUPCAKE, SO I GUESS I'LL JUST CUT IT INTO TWO EQUAL PIECES. [GASP] OH, MY GOODNESS. LOOK. THERE'S ONE HALF FOR YOU AND ONE HALF FOR ME. HEY, THAT'S NOT A CUPCAKE, THAT'S A FRACTION! STEPH, I CAN'T HELP IT. FRACTIONS ARE EVERYWHERE. NOW, SUPPOSE I CUT THOSE TWO HALVES IN HALF. WHAT DO YOU CALL THE PIECES? DESSERT? THANKS. DON'T MIND IF I DO. NEXT TIME I GIVE A MATH LESSON, I'M USING LIVER. BYE. SO, SQUIRT, WHEN ARE YOU MOVING INTO JESSE'S OLD ROOM? I DON'T KNOW. WHEN I'M IN THE MOOD. WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO MOVE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WE'LL MOVE FOR YOU. KIMMY, GRAB AN END. WHOA, WHOA! LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS. OK, I'M IN THE MOOD, I'M IN THE MOOD. HMM HMM COMET, HELP ME CLOSE THIS. I NEED A BIGGER DOG. THIS THING'S HEAVY. WHAT THE HECK'S IN HERE? MY HAIR SUPPLIES. PUT 'EM IN THE FRONT SEAT AND BELT THEM IN. YOU GOT IT, DUDE. WHAT DO YOU BENCH? PROBLEM? WELL, THAT'S THE LAST OF IT. YOU KNOW, JESS, I ALWAYS KNEW YOU'D BE MOVING OUT SOMEDAY. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT DAY'S FINALLY HERE. AH, NO SENSE GETTING SENTIMENTAL OVER THIS WHOLE THING. OH, MY LITTLE PINK BUNNY. REMEMBER WHEN YOUR ROOM WAS TOTALLY COVERED WITH STEPHANIE'S PINK BUNNIES? YEAH. I'LL NEVER FORGET THE DAY I MOVED IN HERE. NICE, HUH? ROOMY. NOT OVERLY MASCULINE. OH, GOLLY, IT'S SWELL. YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD LOOK GREAT OVER HERE BY THE WINDOW? BARBIE'S DREAM HOUSE. WE'VE GOT ONE. LOOK, JESSE, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT HAVING YOU AND JOEY HERE REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME. JUST KNOWING SOMEBODY'S HERE WHO CARES ABOUT THE GIRLS. THEY'RE SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE. OH, GOD BLESS YOU. YOU'RE HUGGING ME IN A ROOM WITH PINK BUNNIES. I'M SORRY. I I'M AN EMOTIONAL GUY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. OK, LET'S FACE IT. I'M A LEAN, MEAN HUGGING MACHINE. OK. DANNYLISTEN. PAM WAS MY BIG SISTER, AND I LOVED HER VERY MUCH. AND I LOVE YOUR KIDS. AND I'M HAPPY TO DO WHAT I CAN. OH AAH! YOU'RE HUGGING ME AGAIN. NOW, LISTEN, YOU AND ME WILL SIT DOWN. WE'LL SET ASIDE A SPECIAL TIME FOR HUGGING, BUT NOT NOW. OH, GREAT. I LIVE IN WEBSTER'S ROOM. IT'S AMAZING. I WAS ONLY GONNA MOVE IN HERE FOR 2 WEEKS. I ENDED UP STAYING 4 YEARS. WELL, THINGS SURE HAVE CHANGED, THOUGH. WHEN YOU FIRST CAME HERE, YOU WEREA WILD, MOTORCYCLE-RIDING, ELVIS-OBSESSED ROCK 'N' ROLLER. NOW WELL, YOUR HAIR'S A LITTLE SHORTER IN THE BACK. JESS, IN CASE I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU ENOUGH LATELY, THANKS A LOT FOR HELPING ME ALL THIS TIME. AH, WHAT THE HECK. JUST THIS ONE TIME. AW AW AW AW AND I GET CAUGHT. AW AW AW AW I'M ALL PACKED. LET'S GO, PEOPLE. MICHELLE. DIDN'T YOU HEAR? WE'RE MOVING TO AUNT BECKY'S. SWEETIE, UH I THINK YOU GOT THINGS A LITTLE MIXED UP. YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. UNCLE JESSE'S THE ONE WHO'S LEAVING. BUT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A BIG, HAPPY FAMILY. THE KID'S REALLY HAVING TROUBLE WITH THIS. I'LL GO TRY TO EXPLAIN TO HER WHY I'M LEAVING. MICHELLE, I THINK IT'S TIME FOR ONE OF OUR WORLD-FAMOUS TALKS, MAN TO MUNCHKIN. WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME? DARLING, I'M NOT LEAVING YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I'M MARRIED NOW, AND I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY WIFE. IT'S KIND OF A TRADITION. I'LL BE OVER HERE ALL THE TIME, I PROMISE, AND I'M GONNA BE WORKING WITH JOEY. I'M JUST A 10-MINUTE WALK FROM HERE. 3 SECONDS BY JET. ARE YOU STILL GONNA SING ME THE TEDDY BEAR SONG? NO, NOT EVERY NIGHT, BUT YOUR DADDY AND JOEY, THEY'LL SING FOR YOU. AND THEY SING I'LL TAPE IT FOR YOU. I'M GONNA MISS YOU. I'M GONNA MISS YOU, TOO, PAL. BUT WE-- I HAVE TO PUT ON OUR BRAVEST FACE. WE'VE GOT TO BE REALLY BRAVE ABOUT THIS THING, ALL RIGHT? SO LET ME SEE YOUR BRAVE FACE. CAN YOU SMILE FOR ME? ATTA GIRL. NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THIS BRAVERY THING HAPPENING, I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME THE BIGGEST, MOST GIGANTIC, MOST GREATEST HUG YOU EVER GAVE ME IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. READY? AND GO! HUG, HUG, HUG, HUG! MMM, MMM! ATTA GIRL. THIS IS A GOODBYE PRESENT. MICHELLE, IT'S YOUR PIG. ARE YOU SURE? YES, I'M SURE. IN THAT CASE, HERE. I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS. THIS IS MY PINK BUNNY. PUT IT UP ON THE WALL. AND WHENEVER YOU LOOK AT IT, YOU CAN THINK OF ME, OK? YOU GOT IT, DUDE. GOOD-BYE, MICHELLE. GOOD-BYE, UNCLE JESSE. ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE LAST LOAD. I AM NOT CARRYING ONE MORE THING IN HERE. JESS? AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING? BRIDE. THRESHOLD. ALL RIGHT. HOP ON. JESS! KIDDING! I'M KIDDING. A LITTLE NEWLYWED HUMOR. ALL RIGHT. AND SHE'S UP. SHE'S OVER. THEY KISS. AAH! AND SHE'S DOWN! HA HA HA! WELL, BOY, THIS IS IT. OUR NEW LIFE IN OUR NEW HOME HAS OFFICIALLY STARTED. YEAH. LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS NEW HOME OF OURS, SHALL WE? LET'S REGROUP HERE AND TAKE A LOOK. NOW, UHNO OFFENSE, BUT I THINK THE MOTIF HERE IS A LITTLE ON THE GIRLIE SIDE, IF YOU WILL. WELL, I AM A GIRL. YES, THAT'S ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS I MARRIED YOU. THE POINT IS, A MAN LIVES HERE NOW. WE'VE GOT TO MAKE IT A LITTLE MORE MANLY-- LIKE SOME MANLY NAUGAHYDE OVER THIS, WHICH WILL GO QUITE NICELY WITH MY HUBCAP END TABLES RIGHT HERE. SWEETHEART, COME SIT DOWN. NOW, BEFORE WE START REDECORATING OR PUTTING YOUR STUFF BACK INTO STORAGE, WHY DON'T WE JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX AND PRETEND LIKE WE'RE ALREADY UNPACKED? LOVING IT. LOVING-- MICHELLE'S PIG. YOU KNOW WHAT I'D BE DOING RIGHT NOW IF I WAS HOME? HONEY, YOU ARE HOME. I-- I MEANT MY OLD HOME. ME AND THE GUYS WOULD BE SINGING MICHELLE TO SLEEP. I KNOW, MICHELLE, WE'RE MISSING A THIRD OF OUR TRIO. I MISS UNCLE JESSE. I KNOW, SWEETIE. WE ALL MISS UNCLE JESSE. IT'S JUST GONNA TAKE A LITTLE TIME TO GET USED TO HIM NOT LIVING HERE. BUT YOU'RE GONNA SEE HIM FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. SO THE SOONER YOU FALL ASLEEP, THE SOONER UNCLE JESSE WILL BE HERE. REALLY? I'M GETTING VERY SLEEPY. GOOD NIGHT, HONEY. GOOD NIGHT, JOEY. GOOD NIGHT, DADDY. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, TOO. GOOD NIGHT, UNCLE JESSE. KIMMY, DO YOU KNOW WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW? ON MY SIDE OF THE ROOM. AND GUESS WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW. I'M STILL ON MY SIDE OF THE ROOM. IT'S MINE, ALL MINE. HOWDY, NEIGHBOR. MISS ME? UH-OH. I'LL CALL YOU BACK. I HAVE A VISITOR. MAY I HELP YOU? IT'S LONELY SLEEPING IN UNCLE JESSE'S ROOM. I KNOW. I MISS HIM, TOO. WELL, GOOD NIGHT. TELL ME, WHY ARE WE SO HAPPY WE HAVE OUR OWN ROOMS? BECAUSE SLEEPING IN SEPARATE ROOMS WILL BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER. IT WILL? WELL, SURE. SEE, WE'RE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME, SO WE NEVER HAVE A CHANCE TO MISS EACH OTHER. BUT NOW THAT WE'RE APART, WE CAN MISS EACH OTHER LIKE CRAZY, AND IT'LL BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER. GET IT? I THINK SO. FOR US TO GET CLOSER, I'VE GOT TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU. EXACTLY. NOW TRY IT. I'M MISSING YOU ALREADY. REALLY? OH, YEAH. I'M MISSING YOU EVEN MORE. I GUESS IT'S WORKING. WE HAVE NEVER BEEN CLOSER. YES. OK, EVERYBODY, WHO WANTS MORE PANCAKES? ME! ME! I DO! HERE YOU GO. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU BETTER MAKE MORE. THESE PEOPLE LOOK HUNGRY. HEY! UNCLE JESSE! MY FAMILY! HELLO! OH, I'VE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH. YOU GUYS MISSED THE CUTEST THING. DANNY SAYS, "WHO WANTS MORE PANCAKES?" MICHELLE TOOK THE WHOLE STACK, AND SAID [high voice] "YOU BETTER MAKE MORE. THESE PEOPLE LOOK HUNGRY. " IT WAS FUNNY, UNCLE JESSE. I MISSED IT? DANNY, TAPE THESE THINGS. NO PROBLEM. I'LL JUST QUIT MY JOB AND VIDEOTAPE THEIR EVERY WAKING MOMENT. GOOD. AW ISN'T THIS GREAT? THE WHOLE FAMILY'S BACK TOGETHER. THAT'S RIGHT. ONE WHOLE FAMILY. WHAT A PERFECT TIME FOR A FRACTIONS LESSON. NO! PLEASE DON'T TURN MY PANCAKE INTO HOMEWORK. JUST RELAX. THIS TIME, I'M USING PEOPLE. EVERYBODY STAND UP. ALL RIGHT, NOW LISTEN, WE HAVE 7 PEOPLE HERE. SO EACH PERSON IS 1/7. BUT UNCLE JESSE AND AUNT BECKY, THEY DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. BUT I'M STILL PART OF THE FAMILY, RIGHT? YES, BUT RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE A VISUAL AID. SO AND 5/7 PLUS 2/7 EQUALS 7/7-- ONE WHOLE FAMILY! STEPH, YOU JUST ADDED FRACTIONS. I DID? SURE DID. I DID, I DID, I DID! THANKS, EVERYBODY. I'VE GOT TO GET TO SCHOOL WHILE I'M STILL HOT. YOU KNOW SOMETHING? NOW THAT SHE'S OUT OF MY ROOM, I THINK SHE'S ADORABLE. COME ON, BECKY. WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE STUDIO. ALL RIGHT, MICHELLE, I'M GONNA DRIVE YOU TO PRESCHOOL. UNCLE JESSE, COULD YOU SING ME THE TEDDY BEAR SONG TONIGHT? SURE. WOULD IT BE OK, HONEY? WE'LL JUST HAVE DINNER HERE, THEN I CAN PUT HER TO BED. YOU KNOW WHAT, JESS? THAT REMINDS ME. WE CAN'T SLEEP AT HOME TONIGHT. I COMPLETELY FORGOT. THE EXTERMINATOR IS COMING OVER TO SPRAY FOR TERMITES. I SET IT UP WEEKS AGO. DANNY, IS IT OK IF WE SLEEP IN THE ATTIC TONIGHT? SURE. NO PROBLEM. ALL RIGHT! WE'RE SPENDING THE NIGHT! DID YOU HEAR THAT, BUDDY? WE COULD HAVE A PAJAMA PARTY. GREAT. SHALL I WEAR MY NINJAS OR MY CALIFORNIA RAISINS? TWIN COTS. I HOPE WALLY AND THE BEAV DON'T COME UP AND DISTURB US. WARD? YES, JUNE. I HAVE A CONFESSION. WE DON'T HAVE TERMITES. DON'T TELL ME IT'S SILVERFISH. I HATE SILVERFISH. SWEETHEART, THERE AREN'T ANY INSECTS IN OUR APARTMENT. I MADE IT UP BECAUSE I JUST THOUGHT YOU COULD USE A LITTLE FAMILY REUNION. WAS I THAT OBVIOUS? JESS, YOU SLEPT WITH MICHELLE'S PIG. AW, THIS IS VERY SWEET OF YOU. COME ON, LET'S GO HOME. WE DON'T WANT TO SLEEP IN THIS ATTIC, RIGHT? WELL, IT'SKIND OF NICE. LIKE OUR OWN APARTMENT, YOU KNOW. IT'S COZY AND PRIVATE. FULLY INSULATED, WITH COMPLETE PLUMBING HOOKUPS FOR A FULL BATHROOM-- IDEAL FOR A YOUNG NEWLYWED COUPLE SAVING TO BUY THEIR FIRST HOME. WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT? WELL, I TALKED TO DANNY ABOUT US LIVING UP HERE. HE THINKS IT'S A GREAT IDEA, AND SO DO I. AH, BECK-- NAH, THIS IS NUTS. HONEY, WE'RE A MARRIED COUPLE. WE'RE MAN AND WIFE. WE SHOULD HAVE A PLACE OF OUR OWN. WE COULD MAKE THIS PLACE OUR OWN. WELL, LOOK, I COULD NEVER ASK YOU TO MAKE THAT KIND OF SACRIFICE JUST BECAUSE I MISS MY FAMILY. YEAH, BUT THEY'RE MY FAMILY, TOO, AND I LOVE THEM. AND I LOVE YOU. NOW, ADMIT IT. YOU LIKE THIS IDEA, DON'T YOU? WELL, THERE'S NOTHING IN THE WORLD THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN MOVING BACK IN WITH MY FAMILY, BUT ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS? I INSIST. OK. AS A FAVOR TO YOU, WE'LL MOVE BACK IN. HEY, EVERYBODY, GET UP HERE! HE WENT FOR IT! ALL RIGHT! YAY! START THE PAJAMA PARTY! AW, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. THANK YOU, DANNY. IT'S GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK. JOEY, OUR EQUIPMENT'S UP HERE. WHERE ARE WE GONNA WORK? SIMPLE, JESS. YOU GUYS MOVE INTO THE ATTIC, I MOVE INTO YOUR ROOM, THE STUDIO MOVES INTO MY ROOM, AND STEPH MOVES BACK IN WITH HONEY, I'M HOME! WELL, I GUESS IT'S WORTH IT TO HAVE UNCLE JESSE AND AUNT BECKY HERE. YOU KNOW, THEY SAY YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL, BUT I FEEL LIKE I DO. I GOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WIFE IN THE WORLD, THE GREATEST FAMILY, REALLY COOL HAIR GREAT BIKE, A SHINY BIKE. JESS, WE GET THE PICTURE. SPEAKING OF WHICH, MICHELLE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THE HONORS? IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE. UNCLE JESSE, WELCOME HOME. HIT IT, BOYS! * WELL, BABY LET ME BE * * WOP DOO WA DO * * YOUR LOVING TEDDY BEAR * * WOP DOO WA DO * * PUT A CHAIN AROUND MY NECK ** CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
 * WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PREDICTABILITY * * THE MILKMAN, THE PAPER BOY * * EVENIN' TV? * * HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE? * * SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE * * THIS OLD WORLD'S * * CONFUSIN' ME * * CLOUDS AS MEAN AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN * * AIN'T A BIRD WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE * * THEN A LITTLE VOICE INSIDE YOU WHISPERS * * KID, DON'T SELL YOUR DREAMS SO SOON * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * THERE'S A HEART * * THERE'S A HEART * * A HAND TO HOLD ONTO * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * THERE'S A FACE OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE * * AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE * * A LIGHT IS WAITIN' * * TO CARRY YOU HOME * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * DO BE DO BA BA DA ** HEY! HEY! HEY! WELCOME BACK! OW! OW! HA HA! HEY! HEY! HEY! AH! AH! I MISSED YOU.
 * IT'S MOVING DAY, IT'S MOVING DAY * * HEY, BABY, HEY * [GASP] I SHOULD BE ON THE RADIO.
 * BABY, LET ME BE YOUR LOVING TEDDY BEAR * * PUT YOUR CHAIN AROUND MY NECK * * AND LEAD ME ANYWHERE * * OH, LET HIM BE * * OH, LET ME BE * * YOUR TEDDY BEAR * * YOUR TEDDY BEAR * * YOUR TEDDY BEAR * * YOUR TEDDY BEAR * * I JUST WANT TO BE YOUR TEDDY BEAR * * OOH ** THAT WAS A VERY GOOD TRY.