Do Me a Solid

(The episode begins with Rigby on the couch watching TV, and Mordecai walks up)

Rigby: Hey, Mordecai, do me a solid and get me a lemonade from the kitchen?

Mordecai: Okay, but you owe me a solid!

Rigby: Of course, that's how solids work.

(Mordecai offers Rigby the lemonade. Rigby takes it. A commercial on the television shows a bald, muscular man using a shakeweight)

Mordecai: Uhh! Do me a solid and change the channel?

Rigby: Do me a solid and pass the remote so I don't have to get so close to the commercial?

(Mordecai hands Rigby the remote. The two are now in the kitchen)

Mordecai: Do me a solid and turn this comic book page?

(Cut to upstairs)

Rigby: Do me a solid and dry my hands?

(Rigby flaps his hands while Mordecai looks disgusted)

(Cut to outside on the porch)

Mordecai: Do me a solid and fluff this cushion?

(Cut to Mordecai and Rigby's room)

Rigby: Sharpen my pencil?

Mordecai: Fold these socks?

(Cut to the kitchen)

Rigby: Cheese these nachos?

(The two laugh goofily and cheese the whole box of nachos)

(Cut to outside.)

Pops: (In the cart) You-hoo! Mordecai, Rigby!

Mordecai & Rigby: Hey, Pops. Hey, Skips.

Skips: Ya think ya want some chips with that cheese?

Rigby: Oh, yeah. I guess we over did it with the cheese, huh?

(Rigby throws the nachos at a tree)

Rigby: Huh!

(Pops, Skips, Mordecai and Rigby laugh goofily)

Pops: Aren't you suppose to be working at the Snack Bar today?

(Mordecai and Rigby look at each other)

Rigby: Do us a solid and cover for us?

Skips: You shouldn't abuse the power of the solid. Bad things will happen.

Mordecai: Can you at least pretend you didn't see us?

Skips: Okay. But you owe me a solid.

(Skips and Pops exit the scene)

Rigby: We should probably get out of here.

Mordecai: Do me a solid and buy me a cup of coffee?

(Cuts to the The Coffee Shop )

Rigby: Do me a solid and pull out my seat?

(Mordecai pulls out a chair and Rigby sits in it)

Mordecai: Don't look now dude, but Eileen is totally checking you out''. (Eileen is now at the scene, checking at Rigby while she cleans a table)'' I think she likes you.

Rigby: Shut it!

Mordecai: You should go for it. You'd make a cute couple.

Rigby: STOP TALKING! (Repeatedly punches Mordecai)

Mordecai: Here's your chance. Dude, she's coming this way.

Eileen: Hey guys, here's your order. I triple dipped your sandwich, Rigby, just the way you like it. So, um, Rigby, I was wondering, do you like miniature golf? (Rigby justs stares) Me, too! Uh, you know, in an ironic way. My shift ends early tonight. Wanna go?

Mordecai: Yeah Rigby, wanna go?

Rigby: Yeah, I waxing my car tonight, so..

Eileen: Oh, that's cool. I didn't mean it like a date or anything, it would be a group thing; you, me, Mordecai, and Margaret. (Mordecai looks surprised) But it's cool if you're busy, totally cool, totally. I'll get you a refill. (Eileen then walks away, looking depressed, and speaks quietly to herself) Idiot, idiot.

Rigby: Ugh. Why did we have to come on her shift?

Mordecai: Dude, do me a solid and go out with Eileen so I can go on a date with Margaret.

Rigby: What? Why?

Mordecai: Dude, come on. This is my chance to finally get with Margaret.

Rigby: No, I'm not doing it.

Mordecai: What do you want? I'll do your work for a week. You can be player one at any video game.

Rigby: Dude, there's no way I'm going out with Eileen.

Mordecai: Rigby, please! You have to do me this solid.

Rigby: Alright, I'll do it for 10 solids.

Mordecai: (Mordecai hits the table) What? That's ridiculous!

Rigby: Ok, that's cool. Then I guess you don't mind "Morde-crying" yourself to sleep tonight, instead on going on a hot date with Margaret.

Mordecai: Argh! Fine, I owe you 10 solids.

Rigby: Then it's a date.

(Outside of the coffee shop)

Mordecai: I'm telling you dude, I'm gonna make my move tonight with Margaret. I'm gonna make my move!

Rigby: Yeah, making your move to total loser-dom.

Mordecai: Rigby, be cool.

Rigby: Oh, I'll be cool alright, (To himself) but I might have to use a solid or two to get though.

(Margaret and Eileen come out)

Eileen: Hi Rigby, you look nice.

Rigby: (Flatly) Oh, hey Eileen.

Mordecai: I hope everybody's ready for an awesome night. I was thinking that maybe after mini golf, we can grab dinner and then, uh, maybe a late screening of Fat Heat. You guys like that movie?

Margaret: Wow Mordecai, you really figured out tonight's plans.

Rigby: Yeah, he wants to make it last, (Quietly) cause it will never happen again. (Mordecai punches Rigby) Ow!

Margaret: Well, I guess we better get going if we're gonna fit all that in. (All four walk to Margaret's car) It should be unlocked.

(Mordecai stares at Margaret, and sighs lovingly)

Rigby: Hey, Mordecai? Can you do me a solid and hang back with Eileen?

Mordecai: Agh! Fine. (We go to the next scene, showing the mini golf area) Hey, Margaret check it out! (Sticks two pencils to his teeth, and talks in a transylvanian accent) I want to suck your blood. So red and juicy.

Margaret: (Pretends to defend herself with a putter) Aah! Stay back! I've got a putter, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Eileen: Hey, Rigby, look at me! (She kicks sand over a pile of golf balls) I just laid sea turtle eggs, and now I'm gonna swim out to sea. Although, many of my hatchlings won't live to adulthood.

(The others stare at Eileen)

Rigby: Let's just get this over with. (We now cut to Margaret, ready to putt the ball) Hey, Mordecai. (Rigby gestures Mordecai to come over)

Mordecai: Ugh!

Rigby: Do me a solid, and yell as loud as you can.

Mordecai: What? Why? You don't even get anything out of that.

Rigby: Cool, then we can call off this stupid date and go home.

Mordecai: Okay, okay! I'll do it. (He screams which messes up Margaret's shot) 

Mordecai (continued): (Sheepishly) Ha, ha. Ha...hey.

(Cuts to the next scene where the gang are having lunch)

Mordecai: Sorry about ruining your shot earlier, Margaret.

Margaret: (Gulps) Oh, it's no big deal.

Mordecai: Yeah, especially since you beat us all.

Margaret: I've had a lot of practice. My dad used to bring me here when I was little.

Mordecai: Well, in honor of your big win, I made you a trophy. (Shows her a figure made out of fruit, and he makes monster noises)

Margaret: Oh, wow! I'll tresure it for as long as it stays fresh. (Laughs)

Rigby: Hmph.

(Eileen starts throwing spices at Rigby like confetti)

Eileen: Whoo-hoo! Congratulations on second place, Rigby!

Rigby: (Groans and puts hot sauce on his burrito) Mordecai, can you do me a solid and tell me if this burrito tastes fishy?

Mordecai: Ahh. (Grabs the burrito, takes a bite, and notices the spiciness. He accidentally spits it on Margaret. Then he takes a sip of his drink) Aah! Dude, what did you put in that?

Rigby: Hmph!

Mordecai: Oh, wow. Sorry Margaret.

Margaret: (Wipes the food off her and sighs) It's okay. I didn't like this top, anyway.

(Cuts to the movie theater)

Rigby: Psst, can you do me a solid and get some popcorn?

Mordecai: I'm all out of money!

Rigby: (Clicks his tongue while pointing to Margaret) Eeh.

Mordecai: Ugh! Uh, hey Margaret, can I borrow five bucks?

Margaret: (Annoyed) Sure, Mordecai.

Mordecai: Thank you.

(Mordecai gets out of his seat to get popcorn for Rigby while the movie plays)

Bellhop: You have a telephone call at the front desk.

Man: (On the phone) Yes, I understand. (A lady walks up to him) That was the tailor again. (Mordecai passes by Margaret with the popcorn) He says there's nothing else we can do.

(Mordecai gives the popcorn to Rigby and he starts eating)

Lady: (Gasps) Did he try?

Man: He's tried everything!

Rigby: Hey, do me a solid and get some butter up in this.

(Mordecai gets up again to get the butter, then returns)

Mordecai: Here.

Lady: We can't go in yet. The reactor needs to cool down.

Rigby: (While Rigby eats his popcorn, Eileen reachs out to hold Rigby's hand. Rigby then gives Eileen the popcorn) Dude, my hands are all slick from the butter. Do me a solid and get some napkins.

Mordecai: (Pulls out napkins) You mean these napkins? Ohhhhh! (Throws the napkins in Rigby's face) In your face! Someone just wasted their sixth solid!

Rigby: (Wipes his hands off) Hey, do me a solid and take the heat for this.

Mordecai: Take the heat for what? (Rigby takes a deep breath, and blows out a fake fart) Ugh! (Stands up) Sorry. Sorry, everybody.

(Cuts to the house)

Eileen: This is where you live? Wow!

Mordecai: Ha ha, yeah. Make yourselves at home.

(Rigby, Margaret, and Eileen sit down on the couch)

Rigby: Man, I don't know about you guys, but I can go for some dessert. Mordecai?

Mordecai: (Glaring) Yes, Rigby?

Rigby: Can you do me a solid and get us some ice cream sandwiches? Ahh. Make it a double solid, and get the good ones from the Snack Bar.

Mordecai: (Glares again) I'll be right back. (Walks away)

Eileen: Do you have any board games?

(Mordecai later comes back)

Mordecai: Alright, I brought them.

Muscle Man: It's about time.

Mordecai: Why are Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost here?

Muscle Man: Rigby said there were ice cream sandwiches at this party. (Snatches the bag from Mordecai) Hook it up! (Takes one out and shows it to the girls) Hey ladies, you want some of this?

Margaret: (Takes sandwich form Muscle Man) It's getting pretty late. I think I'm gonna go home.

Mordecai: What? No, the night's still young! Can't you hang out a litte longer?

Eileen: Yeah, Margaret! We haven't even eaten our ice cream sandwiches yet.

Muscle Man: They're the premium kind.

Margaret: Alright.

Mordecai: Great! Rigby, can I see you in the kitchen for a second?

Rigby: What for? (Mordecai grabs him by the arm) Aah! Ok!

Mordecai: (Sternly) We'll be right back.

Muscle Man: Awkward. (Continues eating his sandwich)

Mordecai: Why are you using your solids to ruin my date with Margaret?

Rigby: Why'd you use your solid to ruin my life?

Mordecai: (Facepalms) Aaaugh! Quit being a baby!

Rigby: Watch it! You don't wanna mess with someone who still has one solid left.

Muscle Man: (Off-screen) Hey ladies, watch what else I can do with my ice cream sandwich!

Margaret: (Off-screen) Mordecai, I think I'm gonna go soon.

Mordecai: Fine! Just use your last solid and get it over with. I don't want Margaret to leave.

Rigby: Okay... Can you do me a solid and... (Whispers the solid to Mordecai, and Mordecai seems to be disturbed)

Mordecai: No, no way! I'm not doing that!

(Rumbles can be heard)

Rigby: You have to, it's a solid!

Mordecai: You're insane! I'm not doing it! (Rumbles can be heard again, but Mordecai just ingores them and walks over to Margaret) Hey Margaret, you wanna check out my record collection before you go?

Margaret: I don't--

Eileen: Yeah, Margaret, you love music. I'll stay down here with Rigby.

Margaret: Okay.

Rigby: Mordecai!

Mordecai: Just ignore him.

(Rumbles can be heard again)

Eileen: What was that?

Rigby: You'd better do it!

Mordecai: Lay off, Rigby!

(Margaret and Mordecai begin to go upstairs. A large earthquake occurs, slowly tearing the house apart)

Margaret: What's happening?

Eileen: (Runs to Rigby) Rigby! (A piece of the floor breaks and lifts her up slightly, hitting her in the face)

Rigby: (Points to Mordecai) It's because you didn't do the solid! Do the solid!

Mordecai: No!

(The house rumbles even more; viewed as if trapped in an erupting volcano. Everyone except for Mordecai and Rigby  grab any securing place possible)

Rigby: Do it, or we're gonna die!

(Margaret screams)

Mordecai: I don't care. I'm not doing it.

Rigby: You have to!

(Benson, Skips and Pops walk in)

Benson: What are you two doing?!

Skips: I told you not to abuse the solids!

Mordecai: It wasn't me! It was Rigby! He asked me to do one that was worth like 10 solids!

Skips: What was it? (Mordecai whispers the solid to him) Wow, that's crazy.

Rigby: But he's gotta do it! It's a solid!

Skips: Do us a solid and do your solid!

Mordecai: No! No way!

Margaret: Just do it already, Mordecai!

Mordecai: But you'll never respect me again!

Margaret: Not if you're just doing a solid! That's what friends are for! They come through for each other when they need it most!

Mordecai: (Amazed) Wow, I guess I never thought of it that way before.

Eileen: Margaret does solids for me all the time.

Margaret: Yeah! Like tonight, I broke a date so Eileen could go out with Rigby!

Mordecai: Wait, you're only here because you're doing Eileen a solid? (Looks down in shame)

Rigby: Hey, um, we're really gonna die if you don't do me that solid.

(Margaret screams and jumps as the stairs begin to crumble)

Mordecai: Fine, you win. I'll do it. (Stands in front of everyone and crouches down, making weird noises. Pops covers his eyes and Skips shakes his head)

Muscle Man: Oh no, bro.

(As everyone watches in disgust, Rigby records it on tape. Scene cuts to him, Pops, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost watching it)

Rigby: Ok, ok. Shh, shh. Get ready, here it -- here it comes in 5, 4, 3, 2...

Mordecai (on the tape): Honk, honk. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

(All laugh. Mordecai walks downstairs with a displeased look on his face)

Mordecai: You're watching it again?

Rigby: This is a new version I edited together. Dude, come over here! You gotta see the look on your face, it's the best part!

Muscle Man: Ahaha! Classic!

Mordecai: You know what, Rigby? You're a jerk! Have fun with your little tape. I'm going to the arcade. (Begins to walk away)

Rigby: Aw, come on, Mordecai! Don't be like that. I'll come with you.

Mordecai: No way! I'm done hanging out with you. You're not my friend. I'm outta here.

Rigby: Mordecai, wait! I almost forgot! I still owe you that solid.

Mordecai: What solid? What are you talking about?

Rigby: That solid, remember? The one where you told me to destroy the tape.

Mordecai: Huh?

Rigby: Yeah. I was just about to do it. (Takes out the tape) I hope there's no hard feelings. (Destroys the tape)

Muscle Man: Aw, man?! What is wrong with you?!

Rigby: Sorry, guys. A soild's a solid.

Muscle Man: Aw, what? Come on!

Pops: Oh, well. I suppose it's true.

Mordecai: Hey, Rigby?

Rigby: Yeah?

Mordecai: Do me a solid and come to the arcade with me?

(End of Do Me A Solid)