Bubba Bo Bob Brain

PINKY: Gee, Brain, whaddya want to do tonight? BRAIN: The same thing we do every night, Pinky... TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! {Pinky and the Brain theme} Y,W,D: They're Pinky and the Brain, They're Pinky and the Brain. One is a genius, the other's insane! To prove their mousey worth, They'll overthrow the earth! They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain-Brain-Brain-Brain-Brain! BUBBA-BO-BOB-BRAIN By: SHERRI STONER Directors: GARY HARTLE, AUDU PADEN, DAVE MARSHALL Animation: WANG FILM PRODUCTIONS BRAIN: Pinky, I believe I have conceived my most brilliant plan to date! I shall use subliminal mind-control to take over the world! ... Pinky? TV: Today's inside story is country mega-star Willie Ray Cyprus. CYPRUS: [On television, singing] "Don't tell my head, my empty hollow head" PINKY & CYPRUS: "You know I wouldn't understand!" CYPRUS: "Yep, yep, yep, Yepyepyep, yep!" BRAIN: It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob. PINKY: You have no idea. BRAIN: Pinky, do you know what a subliminal message is? PINKY: Something you leave on a subliminal telephone answering-machine? BRAIN: No. It is a recorded message perceived only by the subconscious human mind. I have recorded such a message! [Brain plays the tape] "Citizens of the world! You are under my control. You will do whatever I say." PINKY: Nice, mix, but it's not exactly danceable, is it? BRAIN: If people heard this message enough times, they would succumb to my control, and we could take over the world! What do you think, Pinky? PINKY: I think I'm getting dizzy, and I rather like it! Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hoo-hoo! Ah-wah-hah-hah-ha-hoo... BRAIN: Sometimes you hurt my head, Pinky. The only problem: how to get this message repeated world-wide airplay. TV: "Don't tell my head, my empty hollow head / You know I wouldn't understand/ Yep, yep, yep, yepyepyep, yep / You know I wouldn't understand!" GIRL #1: [On television] I just adore Willie Ray! GIRL #2: I listen to his song twenty times a day! BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? PINKY: Wuh, I think so, Brain, but -- burlap chafes me so. BRAIN: Country music, Pinky! I will go to Nashville and become the biggest country-music star of all time! Everyone will hear my record! And my subliminal message! And I will take over the world! PINKY: Egad, Brain! Oh, but, no, no -- it takes people years of hard work to become famous, Brain! {I Dream of Jeanie} Like, take Kathie Lee Gifford, for example: she did community theatre and--  BRAIN: Stop talking, Pinky. I must think. BRAIN: I have calculated every ingredient necessary to become a country music megastar. Read me the list, Pinky! PINKY: A cowboy hat! BRAIN: Check. PINKY: A southern dialect! BRAIN: Check... y'all. PINKY: Nice, Brain. Working class values. BRAIN: I enjoy beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check. PINKY: A song. BRAIN: Check. PINKY: A name consisting of no less than three words. BRAIN: From now on, I shall be 'Bubba Bo Bob Brain'. Check. PINKY: And, a height of at least six feet. BRAIN: Aaagh-- Drat. There must be some way for me to increase my height. PINKY: Hmmm. Let me think. BRAIN: Don't hurt yourself, Pinky. {Some Strauss thing} BRAIN: Faster, Pinky, faster! PINKY: Whooa-whoa-whoop! BRAIN: You amaze me, Pinky. PINKY: Well, I do my best! BRAIN: Proceed, Pinky!  Ti-yi-yippee-yi-yo! How do I look? PINKY: Oh, very nice, Brain! BRAIN: It's Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain. You are my manager, Colonel Pinky. {Pinky and the Brain theme} You discovered me playing guitar on the front porch of my humble pig farm. Any questions? PINKY: Oh, just one -- when you farm humble pigs, how far apart do you have to plant them? BRAIN: If I could reach you, I would hurt you. But for now -- on to Nashville! PINKY: On to Nashville! BRAIN:  This is a pain that is going to linger. {Pinky and the Brain Theme} BRAIN: Two tickets to Nashville, please. TICKET-LADY: Whoo-eee! You're a tall drink of water, ain'tcha, darling? BRAIN: Actually, I'm a lab mouse on stilts. LADY: At least he didn't ask me to pull his finger. PINKY: Egad, Bibby-Boo-Bob-Brain, road trips are so exciting! BRAIN: It's Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain, Pinky. PINKY: Right, sorry. Zort! BRAIN: Concentrate, Pinky, concentrate!  YeS! This pain will definitely be with me a while! {Animaniacs Theme} PINKY: The Rowdy Ranch Nightclub. What we doing here, Booby-Baa-Baa-Brain? BRAIN: It's Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain; and according to statistics, an inordinate number of country-western superstars have gotten their start at this very establishment. PINKY: Egad! Do you suppose Minnie Pearl performed here? BRAIN: One can only hope...  GUY: "I am a telephone repairman from this area..." BRAIN: When I give the signal, play the subliminal-message tape. PINKY: Right-o, Bibby-Be-Bop-A-Loola! BRAIN: Sometimes you frighten me, Pinky. ANNOUNCER: And now a newcomer, Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain! BRAIN: Howdy, you all. Here's a little ditty I wrote. Hope you enjoy it. You all. [Singing] "I am a lab mouse, I escaped from my cage. / Never had a job, never earned minimum wage." GUY: [From audience] He ain't half bad. GIRL: [From audience] He ain't half good, either. BRAIN: "But you will respect me, YeS, once my plan is unfurled / You will call me your leader, I'll be king of the world!" Now, Pinky! TAPE: Citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say. Buy my record and listen to it twenty times a day. GUY: Let's buy his record. GIRL: And listen to it twenty times a day. DJ: I don't know about y'all, but I can't get enough Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain. Let's hear it again! HOST: Well, he's the hottest thing to hit Nashville since my mamma's jalapeno grits — here's Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain! DOLLY: I'm your biggest fan! Whaddya say to that? BRAIN: I'd say puberty was inordinately kind to you. AUDIENCE: [Laughs] DOLLY: Ha-ha! G'wan! CAST: Yee-Haw!! GIRL: Hey, Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain! I just got back from France! BRAIN: How'd you find it? GIRL: I used a map! [They laugh] GARTH: ...And the country tune award for best male vocal goes to... GAYLE: Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain!  PINKY: Egad! Yippee! Narf! [Laughs] BRAIN: You're embarrassing me, Pinky. Pardon my effervescence, but your accolade is more than any bucolic mouse merits. GAYLE: What's he sayin'? GARTH: I don't know! BRAIN: I'd like to thank my momma and Elvis. GAYLE: Oh, how nice! GARTH: Well, isn't that nice! MARY HARTLESS: I'm outside the Grand Ole Opry, where tonight's concert featuring country-music sensation Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain is being televised world-wide! In two words, Bubba is hot! KENNY: [Singing] "You gotta know how to cut 'em, know how to shuffle, know how to deal the cards before you play Fish with me." BRAIN: Do you realise what will happen if the world hears my song just one more time? PINKY: An angel will get its wings? BRAIN: No, Pinky! My subliminal message will take permanent hold, and the world will be under my control! PINKY: Oh, that. BRAIN: Now -- do you remember what you have to do? PINKY: Yes -- I need to make a dental appointment. I have horrible plaque build-up. BRAIN: The tape, Pinky, the tape! PINKY: Oh, right! When you give the signal, I play the tape! KENNY: And now, I'd like to introduce-- BRAIN: This is it -- I'm on! PINKY: Good luck, Booba-Bib-Bup-Brain! BRAIN: How many times do I have to tell you! My name is-- KENNY: Bubba-Bo-Bob-Brain! [Audience cheering] BRAIN: Yee-haw! Let's start this hootenanny! "I am a lab mouse, I escaped from my cage. / Never had a job, never earned minimum wage. / But you will respect me, yeS, once my plan is unfurled! [Audience joins in:] You will call me your leader, I'll be king of the world!" BRAIN: Now, Pinky! TAPE: You are under my control. You will do whatever I say. CROWD: I will do whatever he says. Whatever he says. Whatever he says. Whatever he says. PINKY: Way to go, Blubber-Boo-Bean-Brain! Narf! BRAIN: Do me a favour and forget my name! While you're at it, forget you ever knew me!! AUDIENCE: Hey! Who's that skinny guy on stage? Who is he? Get him off! I wanna see someone famous! [Booing] MARY: [On television] Tonight's inside story: a complete unknown somehow made it onto the stage at the Grand Ole Opry... BRAIN: Turn that off, Pinky. I'm trying to concentrate on a better plan for tomorrow night. PINKY: Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night? BRAIN: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world! "They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!"