Book Ends

Narrator: The Mayor is giving a thrilling speech celebrating the opening of the city’s spanking new library!

Mayor: (reading from cue cards) And so, without further ado, I present the city’s sparkling new Go-Cart Park a Go-Go! (The crowd looks confused, and the Mayor’s assistant walks up to him and whispers in his ear, then shuffles some of the cue cards.) Oh, okay. Right. Hmm. (quietly reads through some of the text that he had already covered) Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, so it’s a great honor and a privilege to present…. (returns to a normal voice) … the city’s sparkling new library!

(Everyone claps, but then Tobey approaches the mic and takes it.)

Tobey: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, but there’s been a slight change in plan.

Mayor: There has?

Tobey: Please watch in awe as I, the mighty Tobey,  destroy  the new library! (Three large robots appear surrounding the library building. The crowd gasps.) I said, I’m about to  destroy  the library! Oh, WordGirl! Yoo-hoo? Library being  destroy ed!

Becky: Uh, Mom? Um, I left my library card at home. So--

Mrs. Botsford: Robot! ROBOT!

Becky: (Picks up Bob)  Right. Uh… I’ll be right back! (Goes behind the crowd and transforms) Word UP!

(One of the robots picks up a statue standing at the entrance, and drops it. WordGirl catches it.)

WordGIrl: I’ll take that! (returns it to its original spot, while Tobey primps his hair.)

Tobey: WordGirl! What a pleasant surprise.

WordGirl: I wish I could say the same for you! Sending your robots to  destroy  the library? You’re getting kind of  predictable , you know!

Tobey:  Predictable ? Me? How ridiculous! You really think so?

WordGirl: Uh, well yeah, I mean you always use your robots to  destroy  things! Very  predictable !

Tobey: But each time, I use them to  destroy  a different thing. Therefore, I am not  predictable !

WordGirl: Fine, have it your way. All I can say, is that it’s pretty easy to tell what you’re going to do next!

Tobey: No it’s not!

WordGirl: Yes it is.

(Tobey raises his finger in defiance, and WordGirl and Huggy both raise their fingers at the same time.)

Tobey: No, it’s not!

WordGirl: Yes, it is! (He notices that she is mimicking him.)

(Tobey, WordGirl and Huggy then raises their arms in the air and all shout at the same time, “Robots Attack!” Then WordGirl and Huggy proceeds to take down each of the robots. She lands next to him, and all three of them clench their fists and shake in frustration. Tobey walks forward a few steps, then all three of them raise an arm in the air and shout, “I’ll be back!”)

Tobey: (sighs and walks off)  Didn’t have to make fun of me!

Mayor: Thanks, WordGirl! You really saved the day! Hey, want the library named after you?

WordGirl: Nah, that’s ok!

Mayor: Uh, a park bench?

WordGirl: Nah.

Mayor: Oops, look at the time! I’ve got a go-cart opening to attend! (He leaves, making go-cart noises and pretending he is driving away.)

Narrator: The next day, the Mayor is once again giving a thrilling speech, celebrating the opening of the city’s spanking-new library!

Mayor: Now, where was I, uh-- (His assistant walks over and arranges his cards.) Oh, oh, oh yes! So, without further ado, I present the new public swimming pool! (He puts on a pair of swimming goggle with a snorkel tube.)

Mrs. Botsford: Wait… when did they put a pool in the library?

Mayor: Last one in is a rotten egg-- (His assistant stops him, and whispers to him) I thought it was-- oh-- a library? Okay.

(More robots appear.)

Becky: Um, Mom? I’ll be right back. Bob, uh, forgot his bathing suit!

Mrs. Botsford: Ro-BOTS!

Becky: Word UP!

Tobey: Oh, WordGirl? I’m back! Where are you?

WordGirl: Oh look. More robots.

Tobey: Ten, to be precise! I doubt even you can handle this--

(She proceeds to systematically wipe out all of the robots.)

Tobey: --many.

WordGirl: (Throwing them into the ocean) Anything else?

Tobey: No fair! You know my robots can’t swim!

WordGirl: Then you shouldn’t have come back with more robots!

Tobey: But all I have is robots!

WordGirl: I know, that’s why it’s so  predictable ! On the other hand, there’s a wrecking ball right next to the library. (Huggy is standing atop the wrecking ball.) Hi, Huggy! (to Tobey) Why didn’t you just use that?

Tobey: Hmm! Well, I, I-- hmph.

WordGirl: Or what about that drum of hazardous material teetering on that ladder by the front door?

Tobey: Well, I-- that looks-- dangerous!

WordGirl: All I’m saying is that robots are a little-- crowd say it with me--

Everyone:  Predictable !

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, this is fun!

Tobey: (to WordGirl) Stop using that word! You are the  predictable  one, I mean, how  predictable  of you to use the word  predictable  i--instead of something like… (he and WordGirl say “obvious” at the same time, then “foreseeable”, then “apparent”. Then Tobey goes through a series of conniption fits, and WordGirl and Huggy imitate each one precisely. Tobey then walks away in disgust.)

Mayor: Pick this up tomorrow? (the crowd is looking worn out by the delays.)

Narrator: At the library, the Mayor is giving a thrilling speech about the new library. Again. This is getting a little  predictable .

(WordGirl and Huggy are standing near the Mayor, waiting for Tobey to strike.)

Mayor: And so, without further ado--

(The sound of robots is heard. Tobey is being lowered to the ground by one of them.)

WordGirl: You’re fifteen seconds late!

Tobey: Ahh, absence makes the heart grow fonder!

WordGirl: (sighs) Whatever. C’mon, let’s see your army of robots!

Tobey: How did you--

WordGirl: You’re really not getting this whole  predictable  thing, are you? Because you keep doing the same thing, it’s easy for me to know your next move!

Tobey:  We’ll see! (The robot carries him up again.) Ladies and gentleman, my fifty robots shall hereby  destroy  this library, as a tribute to WordGirl!

WordGirl: (gasps) Fifty robots?

Tobey:  Ha! See, I’m not so  predictable . Robots attack!

(WordGirl and Huggy fight the robots, but after a while they can’t keep up.)

WordGirl: There’s too many of them! Stop! Tobey, make them stop!

Tobey: Ah, so you admit defeat!

WordGirl: (reluctantly) Yes!

Tobey: And my superiority?

WordGirl: Ok, sure!

Tobey: And you’ll accompany me for ice cream this evening?

WordGirl: What?

Tobey: We’ll discuss that later. Um, and you’ll give me your secret identity?

WordGirl: That’s-- a little much!

Tobey: Robots--

WordGirl: Leave the library out of this! Can’t we fight it out some other way?

Tobey: Hmm… ok… I know! How about a battle of words?

WordGirl:  Predictable ! I got it-- how about dodgeball?

Tobey: Fifty against two?!

WordGirl: Sure! Why not?

Tobey: And if I win, you’ll tell me your secret identity?

WordGirl: Ok, fine! But if I win, you and your robots have to work in the library for a whole month!

Tobey: Have it your way-- since you’ll be losing anyway!

Narrator: Here we are at the park, on a perfect day for dodgeball!

(WordGirl and Huggy are doing stretching exercises along with the robots)

Narrator: The mighty WordGirl and the fearless Captain Huggy Face square off against fifty of Tobey’s giant robots!

Tobey: And me! I’m playing too!

Narrator: Right. (pause)  And we’re off! WordGirl’s got three robots in her sights! Boom, boom, boom! (Hits all three of them) Three robots OUT! She’s really tearing it up out there!

(The robots walk off dejected.)

Narrator: Tobey takes aim… (throws it and it lands no more than two feet in front of him) Wow, nice throw. I mean, tough luck, Tobey!

(Five more robots take aim at WordGirl.)

Narrator: Uh-oh… WordGirl is in the direct line of fire. (They all throw their balls at once.) Is this the end for WordGirl? (She catches all five balls., then throws them back at the robots. They are all hit in the face.) Whoa, ladies and gentlemen! Did you see that? They don’t call her the pint-size powerhouse for nothing!

WordGirl: Uh-- nobody calls me that!

Narrator: Leave the announcing to me, okay?

(Tobey picks up another ball.)

Narrator: Uh-oh, looks like Tobey is about to fire! (He licks his finger, and sticks it up to check the wind.) Now’s the time to grab a snack! (narrator laughs)

Tobey: Take this, WordGirl! (He winds up, and then throws the ball backward. It hits one of his robots.)

Narrator: Man, he stinks!

(Captain Huggy Face picks up a ball.)

Narrator: Captain Huggy Face joins the fray! Hurling the ball with all his might! (His ball didn’t have much force, but took a high arc. WordGirl strikes down several of the robots, and then Huggy’s ball bounces off of each of their heads.)

(Huggy then sees a hot dog stand off to the side, and walks over to it. Meanwhile, two more robots take aim at WordGirl, and she dodges both of them. Then she throws two balls at them while facing the other direction, and hits both of them on the head.)

Narrator: Look at WordGirl go, taking ‘em down without even looking! Tobey takes a aim! (in a subdued voice) Guess that means WordGirl’s safe!

(Tobey throws the ball. It hits another robot, then bounces back and hits Tobey on the head.)

Tobey: Ahh!

Narrator: Another robot out! And Tobey’s out! Knocked out by his own ball! That is terrible!

(WordGirl throws another ball, which pierces through the bodies of five other robots, knocking them down.)

Narrator: Nice work, WordGirl!

WordGirl: Huggy, I think we’re home free!

(As Huggy is eating a hot dog, the remaining robot approaches him and takes aim. Instinctively, WordGirl leaps in front of Huggy and blocks the ball from hitting him.)

WordGirl: Nooo! (The ball bounces off of her)

Narrator: And WordGirl is-- out?

WordGirl: Wai-- wha-- I don’t think--

Narrator: That can’t be right-- where’s my script?

Tobey: Ha! I saved a seat for you.

WordGirl: The game’s not over yet, Tobey! And, you only have one robot left!

Tobey: Please, my robot is more than a match for your puny monkey!

(Huggy eats the rest of his hot dog, then returns to the field to face off against the robot.)

Narrator: Has Tobey finally triumphed over WordGirl? Is Captain Huggy Face about to be hit really, really hard? Tune in next time--

WordGirl: What? This isn’t a two-part episode!

Narrator: Oh, right! So, tune in… right now! I mean, don’t change the channel, just-- just watch!

(Huggy throws his ball at the robot, but it flexes its head and avoids being hit. Then the robot takes aim at Huggy, winds up, and throws the ball at high speed. Huggy stares up with a terrified look as it approaches him.)

WordGirl: Huggy!

Tobey: (cackling) You lose, WordGirl!

(Huggy has been knocked over by the ball, but as he gets up, we see that he actually caught the ball in his mouth! Tobey cries out in agony, and WordGirl jumps up and down with joy.)

Narrator: Huggy caught the ball! Team WordGirl wins!

WordGirl: Huggy! You did it!

Narrator: Wow, didn’t see that coming!

WordGirl: Yes! An ending that’s not  predictable !

Tobey: I demand a rematch! Two out of three

WordGirl: Maybe. After you finish what I have in store for you! Remember your end of the deal!

Tobey: Oh, about that… I’m afraid that’s going to be impossible, because of…(WordGirl begins mimicking him again) ...prior engagements. I can’t-- MY MOTHER-- STOP!

(He walks away angry and defeated. Huggy comes over to her, still holding the dodgeball in his mouth.)

WordGirl: You’re all right, Huggy! You’re all right.

(Scene: The library. One of the robots is busy checking out books.)

Robot: This book is six minutes overdue!

Boy: I know, I had strep throat.

Robot: You have five seconds to pay the fine! (Points its finger at the boy, and the end opens up like the barrel of a gun.) Four--

Boy: Uh, uh, just a second…

Robot: Three--

Boy: Wait, uh-- (digs in his pockets)

Robot: Two--  One--

Boy: Here! (Produces a coin)

Robot: Powering down. (It takes the coin) Thank you for your donation.

Boy: (breathing heavily) Right! Sure! You’re welcome!

(Mrs Botsford walks in wearing a swim suit.)

Mrs. Botsford: Becky, have you found the swimming pool yet? (under her breath) Mayor said there was a pool!

Robot: No talking in library!

Mrs. Botsford: Sorry!

Robot: I said no talking! (Point his finger at her, with a gun-like barrel at the tip)

Becky: HIT THE DECK! (The robot begins firing paintballs at them.)

(Meanwhile, Tobey is pushing around a cart full of books.)

Tobey: WordGirl hasn’t heard the last from me! She will rue the day she forced me to engage in manual labor! (Puts a book onto the shelf. One of his robots approaches him.)

Robot: You put that book in the wrong spot!

Tobey: (sarcastically)  Sorry.

Robot: Return it to its proper place or else! You have five seconds. (Points a paintball-gun finger at him.)

Tobey: Excuse me?!

Robot: Four--

Tobey: Hey, I built you!

Robot: Three--

Tobey: Look, bolt barnacle--

Robot: Two-- One--

(Tobey runs out of the library to escape the flying paintballs.)

Narrator: And so, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face save the day again. Not that it’s getting  predictable  or anything. (Tobey is still running from the paintballs.) So tune in next time for another exciting episode of… WordGirl!