Shrinkin' in the Ray

Transcript for Shrinkin' in the Ray
Narrator: The flour is flying at the 10th annual cheesecake celebration, as Josephine’s Bakery puts the finishing touches on what will soon be the world’s largest cheesecake! Oh-ho, that smells good!

Chef: Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby present Josephine’s Bakery with this handsome commemorative plaque declaring this the world’s largest cheese--

(A mouse-shaped blimp approaches the display, and blasts a ray at the cheesecake, shrinking it down to the size of a half-dollar.)

Chef: Eh-- forget it!

Josephine: No! All my hard work! Who would do such a--

(Two-Brains reaches down from a ladder and picks up the mini-cheesecake.)

Josephine: Oh! My mini-cheesecake!

Dr. Two-Brains: It’s my mini-cheesecake now! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Scene: The park. Becky and Bob are reading about Two-Brains’ caper, and Scoops is contemplating it.)

Scoops: Shrinking cheesecake, mad cackle, mouse-shaped blimp. What does it all mean?

Becky: Dr. Two-Brains is back in town?

Scoops: Dr. Two-Brains? Leave the news to the professionals, Becky!

Becky: You mean, like the News, the Post, and and coupon clipper?

Scoops: Holy Toledo! Dr. Two-Brains is back! What a story!

Becky: I guess those news professional sure know what they’re doing!

Scoops: Oh, they do, Becky. But I’m gonna beat ‘em all-- to an exclusive! I’m gonna figure out the scene of his next crime!

Becky: That would be a great scoop! But what would Two-Brains try to steal next?

Scoops: Hmm…

Becky: Hmm… We know he’s got a shrink ray, so the target is probably going to be something big. And we know he’s got the brain of a hungry lab rat, so the target is probably going to be something cheesy. (Bob raises his hands in the air, and chatters something that only Becky can understand.)

Scoops: Something cheesy…

Becky: That’s it! The giant cheese wheel down at the supermarket!

Scoops: Becky, you’re a genius! You’ve got a great brain for the news, you know that?

Becky: Do you think so?

Scoops: Sure! In fact, I could use some help chasing down this story. How’d you like to be this reporter’s official assistant?

Becky: Really? Your assistant?

Scoops: Stick with me, kid, and you’ll go places! (starts walking off)

Becky: (gasps)… he called me kid! (Bob walks past her with a confused look.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, in the lair of Dr. Two-Brains…

Dr. Two-Brains: Who would have thought it would be so easy? Step one-- build a laser beam that shrinks even the biggest piles of cheese to the size of my hand! Step two-- shrink and steal all the cheese in the entire city!

Unnamed henchman: But now the cheesecake is so small.

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha-ha, the cheesecake is small because I used my shrink ray to  decrease  the size of it.

Unnamed henchman: But why make it so small?

Dr. Two-Brains: So it will be easier to steal?

Unnamed henchman: But now there’s hardly any cheesecake!

Dr. Two-Brains: That’s because I haven’t used my grow ray to  increase  it to its full size.

Unnamed henchman: So once you  increase  it, it’ll be big again?

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha! Precisely!

Unnamed henchman: So what’re you waiting for?

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, shrinking things is easy. But growing them to their original size requires a very special type of fuel-- parsnips!

Unnamed henchman: Parsnips?

Dr. Two-Brains: Parsnips! A delicious garden vegetable. In order to  increase  a shrunken cheese item to full size, I need an entire crate of parsnips! I’ve got three crates ready to go!

Unnamed henchman: And, you definitely need all three crates?

Dr. Two-Brains: Yes, parsnips are incredibly hard to find around here! Especially by the crate!

Unnamed henchman: So… if somebody was messing around with the grow ray, and they used up a crate, that would be bad?

Dr. Two-Brains: Extraordinarily bad! But-- that’s not a problem, because I’ve got all three crates right here! (Opens the back of the van.) One, two… TWO? Henchmen? Do you have something you’d like to tell me? (Charlie shakes his head no.) What about YOU? C’mon, fess up!

Unnamed henchman: Um-- I got a new pet bunny. (A gigantic bunny appeared at the window.)

Dr. Two-Brains: (painfully) Ohh---

Narrator: Meanwhile, at the grocery store… Scoops, Becky and Bob are keeping an eye out for Dr. Two-Brains.

Scoops: Hey Becky, stay alert! Dr. Two-Brains could strike at any time!

Becky: Right!

Manager: Can I help you kids find something?

Scoops: Oh, no thanks, we’re just trying to decide what kind of, uh, croutons to buy. For, um, salad!

Manager: You’ve… been here for two hours!

Scoops: Well, the wrong crouton can ruin a perfectly good salad.

Manager: Good point! Carry on!

Becky: Scoops, I don’t get it. Why can’t we just tell him why we’re here?

Scoops: Reporter lesson number one. When you’re on a top-secret stakeout, it’s important to maintain your cover, so that no one knows you’re really a reporter!

Becky: Oh. Of course.

Scoops: Our cover is that we’re salad experts from the French riviera. See, most people don’t know that the crouton was invented by Heimlich von Croutenheim, admiral in the German navy…

(The doors to the grocery store open, and a ray blasts through it, The grocery store manager walks over by Scoops who is standing next to the cheese wheel, and he and Scoops get shrunk along with the cheese.)

Manager: Say kid, we’ve got these great new croutons from Switzerland! (his voice gets higher as he shrinks in size.)

Becky: Scoops! This looks like a job for--

Scoops: Becky!

Becky: Uh, yes?

Scoops: How’d you get so big?

Becky: I hate to break it to you, but I’m the same size I’ve always been! (Bob comes back with a plateful of samples, and his mouth drops open.)

Scoops: Holy cow! That means, I’ve  decreased  in size! Oh, I gotta get this down! “And as the vicious villains reduced this reporter…”

(The henchmen roll by in a container on wheels, and grab the cheese.)

Manager: My cheese! (He grabs onto it.)

Scoops: My story! (Scoops grabs onto the manager’s legs.)

Becky: Word UP!

Narrator: Meanwhile, high above the city in a giant inflatable mouse…

Dr. Two-Brains: At last-- two of the three biggest cheeses in town are mine! One more, and my plan is complete! And it’s about time… I’m getting  increasingly  hungry!

Unnamed henchman: (sadly) Yeah…

Dr. Two-Brains: Alright, what’s your problem? You are ruining a really enjoyable scheme here!

Unnamed henchman: I’m worried about Flopsy! Is he gonna be okay by himself?

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, maybe if you hadn’t used my grow ray to turn him into the world’s biggest bunny, we could’ve brought him along!

Unnamed henchman: Well you don’t have to rub it in!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh never mind, never mind. The important thing is, even though you foolishly  decreased  our supply, we still have enough parsnips to operate the grow ray two more times. (Charlie comes through the back of the ship carrying a gigantic hat.) Oh, now come on!

(Suddenly there is a loud thud. Two-Brains opens a hatch to look out.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Who is bumping my blimp? WordGirl! Knock that off!

WordGirl: Not until you knock off all the cheese shrinking!

Dr. Two-Brains: Eh-- let me think about it. No deal! Ha-ha-ha-ha! (He shoots a ray gun in WordGirl’s direction, but it goes right by her.)

WordGirl: Ha! You’ll have to do better than that!

Dr. Two-Brains: No, I won’t! I don’t want to shrink YOU, I want to shrink THAT!

(She sees a train go by below.)

WordGirl: I should have known! The 4:13 Cheese Express!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh forget it, WordGirl! (rubs his hands together) Over ten thousand tons of delicious, creamy cheese! And it’s all going to fit-- in the palm of my hand! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Huggy leaps off of WordGirl toward Two-Brains, but misses him. Two-Brains fires the ray at the train as it goes by. WordGirl flies down and stands on top of the train as the ray hits it.)

WordGirl: (giggling) That tickles! (looks around and realizes that she has shrunk along with the train) Oh, MAN!

(Two-Brains, who has descended the ladder, prepares to scoop up the train. Huggy, who is watching from above, grabs the gigantic hat and uses it as a parachute. He tries to grab Two-Brains as he falls, but misses and lands on the ground. Two-Brains gets back to the blimp, and holds the train in his hand, with a shrunken WordGirl standing on top of it.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha-ha, too bad WordGIrl, or should I call you Wee Girl? Flick! (flicks WordGirl off of the train with his finger and WordGirl falls toward the ground. Huggy catches her.)

WordGirl: Thanks Huggy, I owe you one. But right now, I’ve got a friend to rescue, and some cheese to recover! (grabs his finger) Word UP! (She takes off carrying Huggy, and it appears that Huggy is flying on his own.)

Narrator: WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face take to the skies in order to find Dr. Two-Brains’ secret lair! Uh, how are you lifting that giant monkey?

WordGirl: Dr. Two-Brains may have  decreased  my size, but my superpowers are as super as ever!

Narrator: I see.

WordGIrl: Now, if only we had some kind of clue as to where he was hiding out!

Narrator: Okay, how about a clue the size of an enormous bunny?

WordGirl: Well, that would be perfect! (long pause) Well?

Narrator: Oh, come on!

WordGIrl: (looking down and seeing Flopsy sleeping next to a building) Ah, okay! That’s a pretty big clue! Thanks!

Narrator: That’s what I’m here for!

(Scene: inside Two-Brains’ lair.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha-ha! At last! Time to  increase  the size of my ill-gotten cheese! (sternly) Of course, thanks to SOME people, I am down to one crate of parsnips with which to fuel my grow ray! But, if I line up the three items single file and set the laser coordinates very precisely--

(He hears the ray gun go off. He turns around to see that Charlie has made his right hand bigger. He tries to hide it behind him.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ohhh! Come on! That was the last crate! Now what are we going to do?

(WordGirl flies in holding Huggy.)

WordGirl: You’ve got bigger problem than a parsnips shortage, Dr. Two-Brains!

Dr. Two-Brains: Huh? Who said that? Is that monkey talking?

WordGirl: No, down here. Hello?

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, hello!

WordGirl: Yeah, great. We’re here to foil your evil plot!

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, you’re too late!

WordGirl: Huh! That’s what YOU think!

Dr. Two-Brains: No, I mean you’re too late, it’s already pretty much foiled! THESE two used up my last crate of parsnips! Without parsnips I can’t  increase  the size of all this cheese!

WordGirl: (gasps) Not to mention me or your captives!

Scoops: WordGirl! The shrink ray got you too!

WordGirl: Yeah. Are you two alright?

Scoops: Alright? I’m getting the best story of my life!

Manager: Well, I’m not alright! I’ve got a lot of work to do! We got a big shipment of parsnips down at the grocery store today, and they’re just sitting there.

WordGirl: Not for long! (flies off with Huggy)

Dr. Two-Brains: Hey, where’s she going?

Scoops: Oh, uh, flying back to the grocery store to get more parsnips.

Dr. Two-Brains: Excellent, I’ll use them to  increase  the size of this cheese! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Scene: Later at Two-Brains’ lair. WordGirl and Huggy arrive with a large case of parsnips. Charlie captures Huggy with his enlarged hand, and WordGirl with the other.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ah! Good work! Well, WordGirl, it looks like your chances for success are  decreasing  rather quickly! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(WordGirl breaks free of Charlie’s grip.)

WordGirl: That’s what YOU think! (She starts flying around him rapidly.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh! Come on! Get out of here! HENCHMEN!

(Charlie drops Huggy, and goes after WordGirl. She buzzes around Charlie, then knocks him over.)

WordGirl: Now, Huggy! Emergency Plan number 568!

(Huggy jumps over to the grow ray, and increases her back to size. Then he points it at the cage and increases Scoops and the grocery store manager back to normal size. The cheese train also gets increased, and breaks through the sides of the warehouse, waking up Flopsy. WordGirl then spots the shrink ray, and turns it on Two-Brains and the henchmen.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Look! LOOK! The cheese is getting even bigger! BIGGER! BIGGER! Oh, my plan is working beyond my wildest dreams! (pause) Uh, something is not right here. (WordGirl scoops them up in a jar.)

Unnamed henchman: I think we’ve been shrunk!

Dr. Two-Brains: Shrunk? Ahh! We’ve been shrunk! You’ll never take me, WordGirl!

WordGirl: Ah, put a lid on it! (She puts a lid on the jar with air holes in it.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Hey! No fair!

WordGirl: Huggy, catch! (Throws the jar to Huggy, who catches it.)

Narrator: And so, WordGirl once again saves the day-- this time from a terrible cheese shortage!  Increase  your chances for fun and excitement by tuning in next time to another episode of… WordGirl!