Where No Mouse Has Gone Before

WHEE! LOOK, BRAIN! POIT! HA HA HA! I'M EXPERIENCING TOTAL WEIGHTLESSNESS! OOH! AH! CURIOUS.

LOOKS MORE LIKE TOTAL MINDLESSNESS, PINKY.

OOF! AH! UH!

THESE EXPERIMENTS ARE DEGRADING.

NARF! I THINK THEY'RE FUN, BRAIN! HA HA HA! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT RIDE.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO DIGNITY, PINKY. ONE DAY, WE WILL LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE A MOUSE RULES, AND IT'S THE HUMANS WHO ARE FORCED INTO THESE HUMILIATING DIVERSIONS.

YOU MEAN ORLANDO?

DID YOU SEE THAT PLAQUE, PINKY?

YES, BRAIN. POIT. HE REALLY OUGHT TO FLOSS MORE OFTEN.

YOUR INTEREST IN DENTAL HYGIENE IS ADMIRABLE, PINKY, BUT THAT PLAQUE DISPLAYS REPRESENTATIONS OF MAN, WOMAN, AND THE RUDIMENTS OF EARTH'S MOST SOPHISTICATED SCIENCE. IT'S BEING SENT ON A PROBE TO THE OUTERMOST EXTREMITIES OF THE GALAXY ALONG WITH A DISK SHOWING EARTH'S ARTS AND MUSIC. IF ALIENS LOOK UPON IT, THEY WILL LEARN EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DOMINANT SPECIES ON EARTH.

NARF. TOO BAD THERE ISN'T A PICTURE OF YOU ON THERE, BRAIN.

EXACTLY, PINKY. ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING?

I THINK SO, BRAIN, BUT PANTS WITH HORIZONTAL STRIPES MAKE ME LOOK CHUBBY.

NO, PINKY. IF I PUT MYSELF ON THAT PLAQUE, THE ALIENS WILL RECOGNIZE ME AS EARTH'S LEADER.

EGAD, BRAIN! I CAN HARDLY RECOGNIZE YOU NOW.

VOILA! YOU SEE, PINKY? I HAVE REPLACED THE HUMAN FIGURES ON THE PLAQUE.

NARF, BRAIN. IT'S BRILLIANT! MARVELOUS! HA HA HA! OH, OH. JUST ONE THING. UM, WHO IS IT?

IT'S ME.

OH, RIGHT, BRAIN. HA HA HA.

PERFECT LIKENESS. YOU SEE, I'VE SLIGHTLY ALTERED THE GREAT ART MASTERPIECES TO ENHANCE MY OWN IMPORTANCE AS EARTH'S LEADER.

OH, THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE, BRAIN. HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE?

AND THEN THEY WILL HEAR SOME SAMPLES OF THE WORLD'S GREAT WORKS OF CLASSICAL MUSIC.

* BRAIN'S THE LEADER, BRAIN'S THE LEADER

** AND AMERICA'S GREATEST CONTRIBUTION TO THE FINE ARTS, ROCK AND ROLL.

* WOP-BOP-A-LOO-BOP, SHEBOP-BAM-BRAIN **

NOW, WE MUST GO TO THE LAUNCH SITE AND SWITCH THESE WITH THE REAL PLAQUE AND LASER DISK.

BUT, BRAIN, WHAT ABOUT BALLET? POIT! AREN'T YOU GOING TO GIVE THEM A SAMPLE OF THE BALLET?

THE ALIENS AREN'T GOING TO CARE ABOUT BALLET, PINKY.

OH, I DON'T KNOW, BRAIN. I ONCE SAW A GROUP OF JAPANESE TOURISTS ABSOLUTELY MELT AT THE FINAL SCENE OF GISELLE.

BE QUIET, PINKY, BEFORE I AM FORCED TO INJURE YOU.

HALT! THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA. SHOW YOUR IDENTIFICATION.

I AM THE FAMOUS JET PROPULSION SCIENTIST VERNER VON BRAIN FROM THE BRAUN INSTITUTE IN BONN.

NARF! AND I'M VERNER VON PINKY FROM THE MINK INSTITUTE IN PINK. UM, OR IS THAT THE COLONEL KLINK INSTITUTE IN BLINK?

WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF GAG?

ACTUALLY, WE'RE TWO LABORATORY MICE WHO ARE PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

HA HA HA! YOU TINY GERMANS SURE HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR. GO ON IN.

FROM NOW ON, PINKY, WHATEVER ANYONE ASKS YOU, JUST SAY JA OR NEIN.

JA. NEIN. JA. NEIN. NARF!

STAND BY FOR IGNITION.

DID YOU HEAR THE COUNTDOWN, PINKY? JA! WHAT NUMBER ARE THEY DOWN TO?

NEIN.

NINE? JA!

EXCELLENT. PLENTY OF TIME.

[ENGINES REVVING]

DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THEY WERE DOWN TO NINE, PINKY? JA! NEIN. POIT.

TELL ME, PINKY, DO YOU PRACTICE BEING DIM, OR IS IT A NATURAL TALENT?

OH, PRACTICE, BRAIN. ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. BLAH!

[MAN] THE PHILBIN SPACE PROBE, SENT BEYOND THE OUTER REACHES OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM SO LONG AGO, EXTENDED AN INVITATION TO THE UNKNOWN, AND THE UNKNOWN HAS RESPONDED. THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. ALIENS FROM THE PLANET FRUNOBULAX ARE LANDING IN WASHINGTON TODAY, AND THEY DEMAND TO MEET OUR LEADER. HERE THEY COME NOW.

TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.

UH, HE MEANS ME.

I CAN FEEL HIS PAIN.

NYET.

I AM THE ONE.

MAIS NON.

C'EST MOI!

OH, REALLY, OLD CHAP, I THINK HE MEANS ME.

UMBALLA LAZOOLOO! HOY SO FONG HAY!

[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]

AAH! AAH!

YOU ARE THE EARTH CREATURE KNOWN AS BRAIN?

YES. I AM THE LEADER OF THIS PLANET, RULER OF ALL I SURVEY. EARTH TREMBLES BEFORE MY MIGHT.

NARF. AND HE REALLY ISN'T JUST A LABORATORY MOUSE WHO PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

QUIET, PINKY. I'LL HANDLE THIS FROM NOW ON.

POIT. NARF. NARF. POIT.

THIS ONE IS QUITE INTELLIGENT.

HE SPEAKS EXCELLENT FRUNOBULAXIAN.

POIT.

YES. I TRAINED HIM.

NARF, POIT, EGAD.

YOU WILL RETURN WITH US TO FRUNOBULAX, WHERE WE WILL CELEBRATE YOUR GLORY.

AT LAST, PINKY, I AM FINALLY APPRECIATED.

WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?

[BRAIN] THEN I INVENTED THE AIRPLANE

OOH! OOH! OOH! JUST BEFORE MY GREATEST DISCOVERY-- AIRLINE FOOD?

NO, PINKY. I WAS REFERRING TO ELECTRICITY.

AHH.

AHH.

BUT, BRAIN, WASN'T THAT BEN FRANKLIN? HUH? HUH? AH HA HA!

THAT IS CONSIDERED A GESTURE OF RESPECT ON EARTH.

ONE CALLED BRAIN, WE WISH TO SHOW OUR RESPECT.

NARF, BRAIN.

YOU MEAN ALL THESE YEARS, YOU WERE JUST SHOWING ME RESPECT? I'M TOUCHED.

YOU CERTAINLY ARE.

NOW QUIET. YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE PIPE BOMBS IN MY THROBBING CEREBELLUM.

WE GIVE GREETINGS TO BRAIN, EMPEROR OF EARTH.

YAY! YAY! [CROWD CHANTING]

NARF, POIT, BRAIN!

NARF, POIT, BRAIN!

AT LAST, PINKY, I HAVE FULFILLED MY DESTINY!

IT COULDN'T HAPPEN TO A NICER MOUSE ATTEMPTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD, BRAIN.

WE ARE APPROACHING YOUR DOMICILE, BRAIN OF EARTH.

WE HOPE IT WILL BE SUITABLE.

FROM NOW ON, PINKY, EVERYTHING WILL BE DIFFERENT.

OH. EGAD, BRAIN! THEY'VE LOCKED US IN!

YES, PINKY, YES.

BUT LET US NOT DWELL ON THIS. UNH! LET US PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.

WHY, BRAIN? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT?

THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER FRUNOBULAX.

THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN!