Thomas and the Guard/Thomas and the Conductor

Ringo Starr UK Version:

 * Ringo Starr: Thomas the Tank Engine is very proud of his branch line. He thinks it’s the most important part of the whole railway. His two coaches, Annie and Clarabel, agree with him. Annie can only passengers, but Clarabel can take passengers, luggage and the Guard. They are both old, and need new paint, but Thomas loves them very much. As they run backwards and forwards along the line, they sing songs to each other. When Thomas starts from a station he sings.
 * Thomas: Oh, come along! We’re rather late. Oh, come along! We’re rather late.
 * Ringo Starr: And the coaches sing.
 * Annie and Clarabel: We’re coming along, we’re coming along.
 * Ringo Starr: They don’t mind what Thomas says to them because they know he is trying to please the Fat Controller; and they know, too, that if Thomas is cross, he’s not cross with them. One day they had to wait for Henry’s train, which made Thomas very cross.
 * Thomas: How can I run my line properly if Henry is always late? He doesn’t realize that the Fat Controller depends on ME.
 * Ringo Starr: Thomas whistled impatiently. He wanted to leave but he had to wait for Henry’s passengers. At last Henry came.
 * Thomas: Where have you been, lazybones?
 * Ringo Starr: Asked Thomas.
 * Henry: Oh dear, my system is out of order; no one understands my case. You don’t know what I suffer.
 * Ringo Starr: Moaned Henry.
 * Thomas: Rubbish!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: You’re too fat; you need exercise!
 * Ringo Starr: The Guard blew his whistle, and Thomas started so quickly that he left him behind. The Guard waved his red flag to stop Thomas but he was already on his way, steaming out of the station.
 * Thomas: Come along! Come along!
 * Ringo Starr: Puffed Thomas, but Clarabel didn’t want to come.
 * Clarabel: I’ve lost my nice Guard, I’ve lost my nice Guard.
 * Ringo Starr: She sobbed. Annie tried to tell Thomas what had happened.
 * Annie: We haven’t a Guard, we haven’t a Guard.
 * Ringo Starr: But he was hurrying, and wouldn’t listen. Annie and Clarabel tried to put on their brakes, but they couldn’t without the Guard.
 * Annie and Clarabel: Where is our Guard? Where is our Guard?
 * Ringo Starr: They cried. But Thomas didn’t stop till they came to a signal.
 * Thomas: Bother that signal!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: What’s the matter?
 * Thomas’ Driver: I don’t know.
 * Ringo Starr: Said his Driver.
 * Thomas’ Driver: The Guard will tell us in a minute.
 * Ringo Starr: They waited and waited, but the Guard didn’t come.
 * Thomas: Peep peep peep peep! Where is the Guard?
 * Ringo Starr: Whistled Thomas.
 * Annie and Clarabel: We’ve left him behind.
 * Ringo Starr: Sobbed Annie and Clarabel together. Everyone looked, and there was the Guard running as fast as he could along the line, with his flags in one hand and his whistle in the other. He was very hot so he had a drink then told them all about it.
 * Thomas: I’m very sorry, Mr Guard.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Thomas.
 * Guard: It wasn’t you fault, Thomas.
 * Ringo Starr: He replied.
 * Guard: Look, the signal is down; we can go. Let’s make up for lost time.
 * Ringo Starr: Annie and Clarabel were so pleased to have their Guard again, that they sang.
 * Annie and Clarabel: As fast as you like, as fast as you like!
 * Ringo Starr: To Thomas all the way, they reached the end of the line quicker than ever before.

Ringo Starr US Version:

 * Ringo Starr: Thomas the Tank Engine is very proud of his branch line. He thinks it’s the most important part of the whole railway. His two coaches, Annie and Clarabel, agree with him. Annie can only passengers, but Clarabel can take passengers, baggage and the Conductor. They are both old, and need new paint, but Thomas loves them very much. As they run backwards and forwards along the line, they sing songs to each other. When Thomas starts from a station he sings.
 * Thomas: Oh, come along! We’re rather late. Oh, come along! We’re rather late.
 * Ringo Starr: And the coaches sing.
 * Annie and Clarabel: We’re coming along, we’re coming along.
 * Ringo Starr: They don’t mind what Thomas says to them because they know he is trying to please Sir Topham Hatt; and they know, too, that if Thomas is cross, he’s not cross with them. One day they had to wait for Henry’s train, which made Thomas very cross.
 * Thomas: How can I run my line properly if Henry is always late? He doesn’t realize that Sir Topham Hatt depends on ME.
 * Ringo Starr: Thomas whistled impatiently. He wanted to leave but he had to wait for Henry’s passengers. At last Henry came.
 * Thomas: Where have you been, lazybones?
 * Ringo Starr: Asked Thomas.
 * Henry: Oh dear, my system is out of order; no one understands my case. You don’t know what I suffer.
 * Ringo Starr: Moaned Henry.
 * Thomas: Rubbish!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: You’re too slow; you need exercise!
 * Ringo Starr: The Conductor blew his whistle, and Thomas started so quickly that he left him behind. The Conductor waved his red flag to stop Thomas but he was already on his way, steaming out of the station.
 * Thomas: Come along! Come along!
 * Ringo Starr: Puffed Thomas, but Clarabel didn’t want to come.
 * Clarabel: I’ve lost my nice Conductor, I’ve lost my nice Conductor.
 * Ringo Starr: She sobbed. Annie tried to tell Thomas what had happened.
 * Annie: We haven’t a Conductor, we haven’t a Conductor.
 * Ringo Starr: But he was hurrying, and wouldn’t listen. Annie and Clarabel tried to put on their brakes, but they couldn’t without the Conductor.
 * Annie and Clarabel: Where is our Conductor? Where is our Conductor?
 * Ringo Starr: They cried. But Thomas didn’t stop till they came to a signal.
 * Thomas: Bother that signal!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: What’s the matter?
 * Thomas’ Driver: I don’t know.
 * Ringo Starr: Said his Driver.
 * Thomas’ Driver: The Conductor will tell us in a minute.
 * Ringo Starr: They waited and waited, but the Conductor didn’t come.
 * Thomas: Peep peep peep! Where is the Conductor?
 * Ringo Starr: Whistled Thomas.
 * Annie and Clarabel: We’ve left him behind.
 * Ringo Starr: Sobbed Annie and Clarabel together. Everyone looked, and there he was running as fast as he could along the line, with his flags in one hand and his whistle in the other. He was very hot so he had a drink then told them all about it.
 * Thomas: I am very sorry.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Thomas.
 * Conductor: We all make mistakes.
 * Ringo Starr: Replied the Conductor.
 * Conductor: Look, the signal is down; we can go. Let’s make up for lost time.
 * Ringo Starr: Annie and Clarabel were so pleased to have their Conductor again, that they sang.
 * Annie and Clarabel: As fast as you like, as fast as you like!
 * Ringo Starr: To Thomas all the way, they reached the end of the line quicker than ever before.

George Carlin US Version:

 * George Carlin: Thomas the Tank Engine is very proud of his branch line. He thinks it’s the most important part of the whole railway. His two coaches, Annie and Clarabel, agree with him. Annie can only passengers, but Clarabel can take passengers, baggage and the Conductor. They are both old, and need new paint, but Thomas loves them very much. As they run backwards and forwards along the line, they sing songs to each other. When Thomas starts from a station he sings.
 * Thomas: Oh, come along! We’re rather late. Oh, come along! We’re rather late.
 * George Carlin: And the coaches sing.
 * Annie and Clarabel: We’re coming along, we’re coming along.
 * George Carlin: They don’t mind what Thomas says to them because they know he is trying to please Sir Topham Hatt; and they know, too, that if Thomas is cross, he’s not cross with them. One day they had to wait for Henry’s train, which made Thomas very cross.
 * Thomas: How can I run my line properly if Henry is always late? He doesn’t realize that Sir Topham Hatt depends on ME.
 * George Carlin: Thomas whistled impatiently. He wanted to leave but he had to wait for Henry’s passengers. At last Henry came.
 * Thomas: Where have you been, lazybones?
 * Henry: Oh dear, my system is out of order; no one understands my case. You don’t know what I suffer.
 * Thomas: Rubbish!
 * George Carlin: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: You’re too slow; you need exercise!
 * George Carlin: The Conductor blew his whistle, and Thomas started so quickly that he left him behind. The Conductor waved his red flag to stop Thomas. But Thomas was well on his way, steaming out of the station.
 * Thomas: Come along! Come along!
 * George Carlin: Puffed Thomas, but Clarabel didn’t want to come.
 * Clarabel: I’ve lost my nice Conductor, I’ve lost my nice Conductor.
 * George Carlin: She sobbed. Annie tried to tell Thomas what had happened.
 * Annie: We haven’t a Conductor, we haven’t a Conductor.
 * George Carlin: But he was hurrying, and wouldn’t listen. Annie and Clarabel tried to put on their brakes, but they couldn’t without the Conductor.
 * Annie and Clarabel: Where is our Conductor? Where is our Conductor?
 * George Carlin: They cried. But Thomas didn’t stop till they came to a signal.
 * Thomas: Bother that signal!
 * George Carlin: Said Thomas.
 * Thomas: What’s the matter?
 * Thomas’ Driver: I don’t know.
 * George Carlin: Said his Driver.
 * Thomas’ Driver: The Conductor will tell us in a minute.
 * George Carlin: They waited and waited, but the Conductor didn’t come.
 * Thomas: Peep peep peep! Where is the Conductor?
 * George Carlin: Whistled Thomas.
 * Annie and Clarabel: We’ve left him behind.
 * George Carlin: Sobbed Annie and Clarabel together. Everyone looked, and there he was running as fast as he could along the line, with his flags in one hand and his whistle in the other. He was very hot so he had a drink then told them that Thomas had left him behind.
 * Thomas: I am very sorry.
 * George Carlin: Said Thomas.
 * Conductor: We all make mistakes.
 * George Carlin: Replied the Conductor.
 * Conductor: Look, the signal is down; we can go. Let’s make up for lost time.
 * George Carlin: Annie and Clarabel were so pleased to have their Conductor again, that they sang.
 * Annie and Clarabel: As fast as you like, as fast as you like!
 * George Carlin: To Thomas all the way, they reached the end of the line quicker than ever before.