Super Cafe: Teens and Titans

Superman: So, did you see that Teen Titans thing?

Batman: Yes I did.

Superman: So what'd you think?

Batman: (referring to Titans) I think Robin better watch his rated R mouth, before he gets punched in it.

Superman: No, not that Titans thing! Ugh. No, I'm talking about the cartoon movie. (Teen Titans Go! To the Movies)

Batman: Oh that. That movie about superheroes wanting to be in the movies instead of actually being heroes? Yeah, I saw it.

Superman: Wasn't it great?!

Batman: Uh, I don't know.

Superman: What? No way! I thought it was super fun. I laughed so many times!

Batman: It just felt like a bunch of poop and fart jokes to me, it wasn't serious at all. Where's the darkness? Where's the intense villain?

Superman: I think we've had plenty of dark and intense, l mean what's wrong with bright and colorful?

Batman: Nothing, but it seems like everything is going the bright and comical route. Shazam, Aquaman.

Superman: You think Aquaman looks like a comedy?

Batman:Looking comical and being a comedy are two totally different things.

Superman: What's wrong with Aquaman?!

Batman: Nothing (shows a scene from the Aquaman film in 2018) I'm sure fighting Fish-Eminem is gonna be the greatest story ever told.

Superman: *gasp* Shame on you! You are in a mood today.

Batman: I'm just tired of the inconsistency. (shows a scene from Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) One day, we're dark, (shows a scene from the Wonder Woman film in 2017) The next, we're epic, (shows a scene from the Aquaman film in 2018) Then, Aquaman's trying to be the Lord of the Water RIngs, (shows a clip of Robin from Titans) Suddenly, Robin's dropping F bombs! (shows a scene from Shazam! in 2019) And Shazam is flossing! I'm just like, what are we doing?!

Superman: They're keeping it fun! And you should be happy, The Teen Titans made you look like the king superhero!

Batman: Well, that's because I am the king superhero. Do you know why?

Superman: I know, I know what you're gonna do right now, and yes, l do know why!

Batman: Because I'm...

Superman: Because you have Alfred. Yes, l know, l don't need your catch phrase every other sentence.

Batman: Well, at least it's not Robin's catch phrase.

Superman: Stop it! You didn't like that?

Batman: What kind of person that fights crime yells "Crack an egg on it! Ka Kaw!"

Superman: I thought that was hysterical!

Batman: I'll tell you who says something like that, a crazy person, that's who.

Superman: You are being WAY too judgmental.

Batman: And you're being way too easy on that story.

Superman: Oh, I'm sorry, I really enjoyed the comedic cartoon movie. l think you forgot what movie you bought tickets for, it was supposed to be light and silly!

Batman: (shows a scene from Teen Titans Go! To the Movies) Yeah, it was really light and silly when they ran over that Michael Bolton cat and left him to die on the road.

Superman: I'm, I'm sure he's fine.

Cut to the Bolton cat in the hospital after the accident.

Bolton Cat: ♪That's why I'm feeling... Upbeat! Upbeat!♪ Can't feel my legs.

Cut back to the New Super Cafe.

Batman: They also left those Unknown guys to die in that dark dimension.

Superman: That was a joke!

Batman: (shows another scene from Teen Titans Go! To the Movies) And, they used time travel to totally save my parents, but then use it again, to make sure they die for real the second time!

Superman: Oh, I see now why you didn't like that story.

Batman: How do you have time travel, and not use it for good, and call yourself a hero?

Superman: Let me try to explain this to you, they are teenagers!

Batman: They're reckless.

Superman: I think we just agree to disagree on this one.

Batman: Yeah, whatever.

Cue the arrival of the cartoon incarnation of The Teen Titans after their movie.

Cyborg: What is up fellas! You see our movie yet?!

Batman: Heck yes, I did! Nice one, guys! l loved every second of it!

Robin: Titans, victory dance! (they do so)

Batman: Not Superman. He thought it sucked.

Superman: What?!

Super Cafe: Teens and Titans

The End