Karaoke & Kalamity

Synced and corrected By Katniss Everdeen Guys! The shipment of maracas just came in! These are even nicer than the last maracas. Ah! Check them out! Right now? Can't you see we're being chased by a tyrannosaurus rex? - He's closing in on us! - We're doomed! Ahhh! That screen is supposed to be a concert simulator to help the students practice performing in front of a crowd, not to practice running away from prehistoric carnivores. Performing for a virtual crowd always bums me out. Reminds me of how much I miss performing in front of a real crowd. I can't believe Jimmy starr still hasn't lifted the ban. Guess who got a job working karaoke night at club-a-dub-dub? Aw, I love that place! I set the record for eating Bones and all! Whoa! Working karaoke is the perfect job for me. I get to sing all night. Mmm, isn't your job to get other people to sing? Why would I do that? They're terrible. Have you heard people do karaoke? You haven't heard me do karaoke. I'm great! Yup, sounds great now. What was wrong with our old maracas? The beans in these are 5% bigger. Can't you hear the difference? Hi. Oh, hi. Can we help you? Nope. That was weird. Actually yes. I'm here for singing lessons. Well, great. Let's just sign you up right now. - Uh, what's your name? - Ridley. You know what? Never mind. Wait, come back. There is nothing to be scared of. Actually, there's a lot to be scared of. You could hate my singing, I could embarrass myself, one of those guitars could fall on my head, aliens could attack. None of that's going to happen. Well, aliens could attack. Ignore him. I am sure you are a great singer. So let's hear what you've got. Okay. Ridley! You have a great voice. Only, uh, I couldn't help but notice you put on a mask before singing. Yeah. You can't be too careful. Did you know the average person accidentally swallows 25 flies a year? Well wait, really? I don't know what I'm doing here. I really want to be a singer, but all my fears keep getting in the way. Well, hang on. Why don't you come back this afternoon? I think I have some ideas to help conquer your fear so you can perform. Are you sure you want to waste your time on someone as odd as me? You're not odd. I have an inflatable life vest in my backpack in case of emergency. Okay, that's a little odd. Odd or prepared? Odd. See you later. Guys, you would not believe what happened at work yesterday. You got fired? No, you would totally believe that. This big hairy lumberjack dude came in and rocked an amazing karaoke performance of one of Austin's songs. Apparently he goes there every night. Seriously? Yeah, he has that Austin Moon swagger. Well the old Austin Moon that used to perform, not the new one that just sits around and does nothing all day. Sorry. You gotta check this guy out. Yeah, this I have to see. Come on, Austin, let's all go tonight. Nah, I can't. I have to give my cat a bath. You don't have a cat. Right. So I gotta go buy a cat and then give it a bath. It's gonna be a long night. See you later. That was strange. Uh, yeah. I can't believe he'd go cat shopping without me. I hope he gets one of those fluffy, grumpy cats with a cute, mean face. Meow! Dez, he is not getting a cat. Meow? Clearly that was just an excuse. Austin doesn't want to go to karaoke because it hurts to see people perform his music when he can't. I don't know, Ally. That's pretty far-fetched. I think bathing a cat that he doesn't even have yet makes way more sense. Okay, Ridley, I know how overwhelming stage fright can be. I used to have it too. It's true. She was a train wreck. It's still all over the Internet. Want to see? Dez! I do have stage fright, but it's not the kind you think. I'm literally afraid of stages. You can fall off, get a drum stuck on your head. The dangers are endless. But you you seem okay performing in front of people. Well, not strangers. Okay, what about performing in front of a crowd of people that you know? Ah! It's like this nightmare I had, but instead of dezes, they were yams. I'm terrified of yams. - Dez, do something. - I got this. Basically the best way to get over stage fright is to picture the audience in their underwear. - Whoo! - Ah! What? Now I'm going to have nightmares. Change it, change it. Yams! Wait, come back. There's nothing to be afraid I think I just swallowed a fly. Did I get it? - Did you get it? - No. Well, we only have time for one more singer. And it's not you, Dez. Sorry nobody on the list got to sing, but the important thing is, I got to sing 15 songs. Is a crowd favorite. He rocks Austin Moon songs better than Austin Moon. You know him, you love him. Club-a-dub-dub is proud once again to present Flermy McGurgen! Let's give it up for Flermy McGurgen! Great job, Flermy. You did it again. That was amazing, bearded dude. Uh, thanks, strangers. So what do you think, Ally? I think He's pretty cute. I can't believe you're cheating on Austin in front of me with this big hairy lumberjack! Guys, I give you Flermy McGurgen. Okay, I'm not really a lumberjack. Austin, you've been secretly performing? If Jimmy finds out, do you know how much trouble you'll be in? So? What kind of cat did you get? So Austin and Flermy are actually the same person? It's been so obvious the whole time. "Austin" is Flermy spelled backwards. Nope. No, it's not. They don't even have one letter in common. Why didn't you tell us? Well, I just couldn't take the chance. I really miss performing and putting on a disguise was the only way I could do it without Jimmy starr finding out. It's like he's everywhere. Hey, look, they're dancing to your song. Nice job, guys. But let me show you how it's really done. Stop! No performing, Austin. Happy Birthday to my little cousin Jessica! Now for a special treat, Austin Moon will sing to you! Yay! No performing, Austin. Stop! No performing, Austin! Wheee! I don't think any of that stuff actually happened. Okay, I may have exaggerated a little. We get it. Wearing a disguise was the only way you could sing. I still can't believe you would even risk it. What if Jimmy catches you? I don't know! I've been going crazy not being able to perform. Poor guy. The only time he gets to sing is in the shower. I'm guessing. It's not like I listen outside the door. We're having a big karaoke competition here this weekend. Flermy McGurgen could take home the top prize. I'm way ahead of you. I already have the perfect song picked out. I just gotta win the contest. You know the top prize is just a basket of chicken wings? What? I thought it was just a trophy. That's way better! Yeah, trophies don't taste nearly as good with buffalo sauce. Whoo! Check this out. "Enter to win the club-a-dub-dub karaoke sing-off. "First prize is a free basket of chicken wings. " So what do you think? I think you've got a pretty good chance. I say go for it. No, not me. I entered you into the karaoke competition. You did what? Trust me, it is the best way to get over your fears. I mean, performing in front of people is my biggest dream. But it's also my worst nightmare. I'm freaking out just thinking about it. Oh, hey. Look. It's like getting into a cold swimming pool. You just have to dive right in. You know how dangerous diving is? You could bump your head, you could belly-flop Ridley, is there anything you're not afraid of? Antibacterial wipes. Okay. I can work with that. Thank you. I know that's my seventh song in a row. But tonight is not all about me. Stay tuned. The karaoke contest is up next. I am so nervous. There's people here, I saw a fly on the way in, and I'm not wearing my life vest. You can do this. Just go to your safe place. Close your eyes and imagine yourself wrapped up in that antibacterial wipe. Is it lemon-scented? It can be whatever you want. I'm gonna go put some more tape on my shoes. That stage looks really slippery. Okay. Okay, yeah. Okay, Flermy. You're up first. Good luck. Thanks, Trish. One day, I hope to perform as Austin Moon again. But until then, I really appreciate you sticking with me. Yeah, yeah. Go wait in the club until I call you up on stage, you hairy wildebeest. It's so moving to see a back-country woodsman living out his dream in the big city. Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy? What are you doing here? Nice to see you too. The owner of this club is a friend of mine. I'm tonight's guest judge for the karaoke contest. Man! I knew I shouldn't have fallen asleep at the last staff meeting. I'm glad I ran into you, though. I've been wanting to talk to you about Austin. I'm thinking of letting him perform again. That's great news. Really? Yeah, as long as he doesn't do anything stupid to make me change my mind. Ah. Well well! The next time I see him, which I have no idea when that will be, because he is nowhere near here, I will give him the good news. Great. Well, I gotta head over to the judge's table. Flermy? Flermy? Flermy McGurgen! Hey, he's doing an Austin Moon song. Wow, he sounds a lot like Austin Moon. A lot. Flermy Jimmy stage career judge Austin help! I think she's trying to tell us something. Ally, isn't it obvious? What she's trying to say is Jimmy starr is here as a guest judge and has offered Austin the chance to perform again if he doesn't do anything behind his back. Of course now, if Jimmy finds out Austin is Flermy McGurgen, he'll blow his shot at a comeback. Duh. You got all that from, "Flermy Jimmy stage career "judge Austin help"? No, I was standing right behind the curtain when they had the conversation. I heard the whole thing. Well, we need to get Flermy off the stage before Jimmy figures it all out. I'm on it. Let's hear it for Flermy McGurgen! Whoo! Hey, I wasn't done. You are now. I'm giving you the axe. Also, here's your axe. Jimmy's here. Don't let him see you. I'm sure we can all agree that last guy was forgettable! So let's just all forget about him. Whew. I don't think I can do this, Ally. You're gonna be great. There's nothing to worry about. Now let's give a big round of applause for our next contestant! Oh, well, not too big. Loud noises startle her. Well, now it just seems like you don't like her. - Could we split the difference? - Trish! Sorry. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Ridley Rogers! Psst, Ally, she's not singing. I see that, Dez. Cool, just letting you know. Ridley, just go to your safe place. Wrap yourself in the wipe. She has a great voice. You know, I've been looking for a new young singer. I'm gonna keep my eye on her. Yams! Yams! Whoa! Sorry. Look at that! An emergency! Flermy McGurgen. Or should I say Austin Moon? What was that? Sorry, I lost my hearing in a lumberjack accident. Austin, I can't believe you would defy me again. I was about to let you start playing shows, but you blew it. Jimmy, I'm sorry. Please give me another chance. You had a chance to do the right thing and you didn't. You're lucky I don't take legal action. I only did it because I miss performing so much. Sorry. You're still banned. And I better not see Flermy McGurgen playing anywhere either. I was confused at first as well. But Flermy and Austin are actually the same person. - Tennis next week? - Nope. Love that guy. I'm so sorry, Austin. I know how much performing means to you, but don't give up. Jimmy will change his mind and you'll be up on that stage as Austin Moon again in no time. It's my fault. I ruined everything. No, it's not. I took a risk and I shouldn't have. You did a great job. Yeah, you were awesome out there. Look, it took time for me to overcome my fear, and it'll take time for you to get over yours. Thanks, Ally. You know, for a moment onstage there, I wasn't afraid of anything. I felt amazing. Well, up until the yams. Yeah, who orders yams at karaoke night anyway? Another round of yams, please! Well, in light of the fact that one contestant got spooked by a yam, one contestant got disqualified, and our celebrity judge quit, I guess the only fair thing to do would be reschedule the contest. No, declare myself the winner! I hereby accept these chicken wings on my behalf. Whoo! Whooo! Whoo! Trish, Trish! Oh, yeah, the beans on the right do sound 5% bigger. Hey, guys, since Austin can't perform as Flermy anymore, I helped him find a new disguise. He's unrecognizable. Oh, an old cowboy. Austin, I love it. Ally, why are you hugging an old cowboy? Yeah, this is my Uncle. He's taking me to the rodeo. Aw. Sorry, buckaroo. Come on, unc. I reckon we better mosey. Hey, guys, I just started working on this new song. What do you think? Stop! No performing, Austin. Wheee!