The Middle-Earth Paradigm


 * (The guys arrive at Penny's party.)
 * Penny: Oh, hey, guys.
 * Leonard: Hey, sorry we're late.
 * Penny: Late? It's 7:05.
 * Sheldon: And you said the party starts at 7:00.
 * Penny: Well, yeah, I mean, when you start a party at 7:00, no one shows up at, you know, 7:00.
 * Sheldon: It's 7:05.


 * Sheldon: Like Jane Goodall observing the apes, I initially saw their interactions as confusing and unstructured, but patterns emerge, they have their own language if you will.
 * Leonard: Go on.
 * Sheldon: Well, it seems that the newcomer approaches the existing group with the greeting “How wasted am I?” which is met with an approving chorus of “Dude.”


 * Penny: Well, I ran into him last week and, he was... just, all apologetic, about how he’s changed, he was just going on and on and I believed him, and I’m an idiot because I always believe guys like that and... I can’t go back to my party because he’s there, and I know you don’t want to hear this and I’m upset and I’m really drunk and I just want to... (Bursts into tears and rests head on Leonard’s shoulder.)
 * Leonard: There, there.
 * Penny: God, what is wrong with me.
 * Leonard: Nothing, you’re perfect.
 * Penny: Gosh, I’m not perfect.
 * Leonard: Yes you are.
 * Penny: You really think so, don’t you? (She kisses him.)
 * Leonard: Penny?
 * Penny: Yeah.
 * Leonard: How much have you had to drink tonight?
 * Penny: Just... a lot.
 * Leonard: Are you sure that your being drunk, and your being angry with Kurt doesn’t have something to do with what’s going on here?
 * Penny: It might. Boy, you’re really smart.
 * Leonard: Yeah, I’m a frickin’ genius.
 * Penny: Leonard, you are so great. Why can’t all guys be like you?
 * Leonard: Because if all guys were like me, the human race couldn’t survive.


 * Leonard: I'll get it. (Wears a Flash costume, opens door)
 * Howard: (Enters at speed, wears a Flash costume) Bjow. (They stare at each other in shock)
 * Leonard: Oh, no.
 * Sheldon: (Wears a flash costume) Oh, no.
 * Raj: Make way for the fastest man alive. (Enters, also in a Flash costume) Oh, no!
 * Sheldon: See, this is why I wanted to have a costume meeting.
 * Leonard: We all have other costumes, we can change.
 * Raj: Or we could walk right behind each other all night and look like one person going really fast.
 * Howard: No, no, no, it's a boy-girl party, this Flash runs solo.
 * Leonard: Okay, how about this? Nobody gets to be the Flash, we all change. Agreed?
 * All: Agreed.
 * Leonard: I call Frodo!
 * All: Damn!


 * Sheldon: Let me remind you while my moral support is absolute in a physical confrontation, I will be less than useless.
 * Leonard: There's not going to be a confrontation. In fact, I doubt if he can even spell "Confrontation".
 * Kurt: (picks Leonard up) C-O-N-frontation.
 * Penny: (walks to Kurt) Kurt, put him down this instant.
 * Kurt: He started it.
 * Penny: I don't care. I'm finishing it. Put him down.
 * Kurt: Fine. (puts Leonard down) You're one lucky little leprechaun.
 * Sheldon: He's a hobbit. (to Leonard) I got your back.


 * Howard: Hey, have you seen Koothrappali?
 * Sheldon: He's not here. Maybe the Avengers summoned him.
 * Howard: He's not the Marvel comics Thor; he's the original Norse god.
 * Sheldon: Thank you for the clarification.
 * Howard: I'm supposed to get him a ride home.
 * Sheldon: I'm sure he'll be fine. He has his hammer.