The Return


 * Ah, it's great to have everyone back together again after summer vacation!
 * But it kinda feels like something's missing.
 * Everyone: Hmm...
 * MY PANTS! MY PANTS ARE MISSING! I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS! I NEVER WEAR pants, I don't wear any pants. Phew, that was close. SHOES! MY SHOES ARE MISSING! I DID IT AGAIN! Why would I wanna wear shoes? I don't have any feet. MY FEET! MY FEET ARE MISSING! WHERE ARE MY FEET?!
 * You're right though, there is something missing. It feels too...nice.
 * Yeah, I've been wearing my new fresh hat for a whole twenty minutes and no one has made fun of it once!
 * Let me rectify that for you. I can see why you left the label on, I'd want a refund too!
 * Eh, first degree burn at best. Won't even leave a scar. Gumball would've come up with something WAY better.
 * Everyone: WHERE ARE GUMBALL AND DARWIN?
 * Kids, KIDS! IT'S HALF PAST SEVEN! YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR YOUR FIRST DAY BACK! MOM LEFT ME IN CHARGE AND IF I DON'T GET YOU TO SCHOOL ON TIME, SHE'LL DESTROY ME! SHE'LL DESTROY YOU! uh--US! AH! (Richard wakes up) Oh, it was just a dream. It's not really 7:30- IT'S 8:30!!!
 * AH! YOU'RE LATE! ARGHHH! Oh no, the kids have turned into school supplies! Or am I still dreaming? Only one way to find out. Hmm, I can't fly, so this definitely isn't a dream. Not dreaming, start panicking. START PANICKING!
 * Elmore Junior High.
 * Helloooo, this is my wife speaking.
 * Whose wife?
 * Uhhh, Richard's.
 * Mr. Watterson, what is it this time?
 * I'm just calling to say that the kids won't be here this morning. They've got uhhh, fat heads!
 * Doesn't sound that bad, send them in!
 * But that was just the start of it! They've also got a cough, their skin is falling off, and they've got black lumps all over their arms.
 * That sounds like the bubonic plague!
 * YES, THAT! I'm giving them vitamins, so they'll be in after lunch! Bye!
 * WAIT, WHAT? NO!
 * THE KIDS STILL HAVE THE PLAGUE!
 * Maybe it's because I just finished my night shift and I desperately need sleep, but I could've sworn you just said the kids have the plague.
 * No I didn't, you did!
 * Did I? Oh, I'm so tired.
 * I know. Me too!
 * Sure, an all night shift in the factory is nothing compared to half an hour of back to school shopping in the mall.
 * Exactly!
 * Well, as long as you got them to school on time.
 * Come on, trust me!
 * I know, I'm sorry for doubting you. Uh, listen, I'll pick them up after school. Love you!
 * Don't know what she's worried about, I'm a good father. What do you know?  Where are they? Okay. The best way to find them is to retrace your steps.  Okay they're not here. So, when did I last see them? It was yesterday afternoon...
 * Come on sleepy heads, Dad's shopping was so tiring, we're going to bed now even though it's only five o' clock.
 * Right, so if the shopping is in the beds, the kids must be... IN THE TRUNK! Gumball! Darwin! Anais! Are you in there? They can't speak! They're running out of air!  Ah! Open Sesame! Abracadabra! Avocado Kredenza! What's the magic word again? Oh yeah.  PLEASE!  Aha!  Wait! This is the key!!  WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING!?
 * Because it's not your car, Watterson.
 * You're right! My car hasn't got all those dents in the trunk. Hmmm. So I have my keys, but I don't have my car. How can that be?
 * : You guys stay here will I go get the ticket. Wait! A good father wouldn't leave his children in a hot car with the windows wide open  Safety first.
 * All right kids. Let's go. Uh?  Prepare to jump into hyper space!  Aw! Asleep already.
 * Wait, my car!
 * The kids must still be locked my car. I'M COMING KIDS!!  My car!
 * Come here kids. BREATHE! Where's my car?
 * Uhh in Section D?
 * Thank you! WHERE'S SECTION D?!
 * Just after section C.
 * Sorry! I forgot to say thanks!
 * Please sir, stop break everything, what's going on!?
 * I can't find my kids!
 * Well when did you last see them?
 * }: Ummm.... Yesterday. After buying their stuff, I went to pick them up from the play center.
 * Thanks, Dad. Did you get everything we need for school tomorrow?
 * Yes son, and now I'm here to take you home.
 * That's wonderful! You're a great dad.
 * I'm a great dad. I'm a- Wait, NO! Come on brain! Tell me the truth. I CAN TAKE IT!!
 * You're a great dad. You're-
 * GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!
 * The demons of guilt!
 * You abandoned your children at a public play center. What kind of father would do that?
 * A tired one doing his best?
 * No! A lazy one doing his worst!
 * You can't even remember precisely what we look and sound like.
 * If I'm reading your subconscious correctly, you left your kids at a ball pit overnight.
 * Well it's better than leaving them in the trunk... I'm still a good father, right?
 * You know what's worse than leaving your kids in a ball pit over night?
 * Standing here talking about it!
 * What??
 * I said, the ball pit had to go. It wasn't safe. All those kids sinking, getting lost, the paper work! In the end we did the only responsible thing. Sold it to a country with less child safety laws.
 * You mean... I exported my kids?
 * Well, technically, he's exporting them.
 * No! A lazy one doing his worst!
 * You can't even remember precisely what we look and sound like.
 * If I'm reading your subconscious correctly, you left your kids at a ball pit overnight.
 * Well it's better than leaving them in the trunk... I'm still a good father, right?
 * You know what's worse than leaving your kids in a ball pit over night?
 * Standing here talking about it!
 * What??
 * I said, the ball pit had to go. It wasn't safe. All those kids sinking, getting lost, the paper work! In the end we did the only responsible thing. Sold it to a country with less child safety laws.
 * You mean... I exported my kids?
 * Well, technically, he's exporting them.
 * I said, the ball pit had to go. It wasn't safe. All those kids sinking, getting lost, the paper work! In the end we did the only responsible thing. Sold it to a country with less child safety laws.
 * You mean... I exported my kids?
 * Well, technically, he's exporting them.


 * Stop! My kids are in there! Stop! Hey! I said STOP! Hey! Pull over! Pull over!
 * This is big neighbor. I got some creepo on my shoulder, all he wants to do is talk about my pull over. Thank goodness he can't see my shoes. l'm gonna shake him off, over.
 * Hey! Whoa! Wait Up!  l'm coming for you kids! I'm coming! I'm coming!  In a minute!
 * Breaker breaker. This is Big Neighbor calling for bank up. I gotta- I gotta 10-17 on my tead dough. Little help please?
 * Rush show her! I have enough time for this!
 * Thanks good buddies see you on the flip flop. Hang over there.
 * MY KIDS! Oh.  Prepare to jump into hyper space!  I am a good father!  Kids! Are you in there!  Answer me!
 * Prepare to jump into hyper....crane! KIDS! Where are you!  It won't get out of his.  I don't know what that is.  Aha! That was think was thousand the plastic balls knock was get the jumping metal detintor.  The Mentatjor! She probultlay to stop shake now.  I'M COMING!
 * Dad help! Get out of there!
 * Where's the door! Kids where's the door! Ha! Aw! Okay! 1 1 1 1 1. 1 1 1 1 2.  Owah! Will never get time for this! When mom has pretty get you school she didn't supposed to time for has beet inside or outside she was to getintainer.  Prepare to jump into hyper-  space?
 * Prepare to jump into- Owah! I'm wiast to much done save love to think. I should let to talk in accident to save done. Thank you mother always this?  YOU'RE MOTHER! She's taking you out in 3 minutes! YOU'RE GONNA BE A SHORTCUT!
 * Awesome 3D!
 * I AM A GOOD FATHER!
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * Thanks good buddies see you on the flip flop. Hang over there.
 * MY KIDS! Oh.  Prepare to jump into hyper space!  I am a good father!  Kids! Are you in there!  Answer me!
 * Prepare to jump into hyper....crane! KIDS! Where are you!  It won't get out of his.  I don't know what that is.  Aha! That was think was thousand the plastic balls knock was get the jumping metal detintor.  The Mentatjor! She probultlay to stop shake now.  I'M COMING!
 * Dad help! Get out of there!
 * Where's the door! Kids where's the door! Ha! Aw! Okay! 1 1 1 1 1. 1 1 1 1 2.  Owah! Will never get time for this! When mom has pretty get you school she didn't supposed to time for has beet inside or outside she was to getintainer.  Prepare to jump into hyper-  space?
 * Prepare to jump into- Owah! I'm wiast to much done save love to think. I should let to talk in accident to save done. Thank you mother always this?  YOU'RE MOTHER! She's taking you out in 3 minutes! YOU'RE GONNA BE A SHORTCUT!
 * Awesome 3D!
 * I AM A GOOD FATHER!
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * Dad help! Get out of there!
 * Where's the door! Kids where's the door! Ha! Aw! Okay! 1 1 1 1 1. 1 1 1 1 2.  Owah! Will never get time for this! When mom has pretty get you school she didn't supposed to time for has beet inside or outside she was to getintainer.  Prepare to jump into hyper-  space?
 * Prepare to jump into- Owah! I'm wiast to much done save love to think. I should let to talk in accident to save done. Thank you mother always this?  YOU'RE MOTHER! She's taking you out in 3 minutes! YOU'RE GONNA BE A SHORTCUT!
 * Awesome 3D!
 * I AM A GOOD FATHER!
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * Prepare to jump into- Owah! I'm wiast to much done save love to think. I should let to talk in accident to save done. Thank you mother always this?  YOU'RE MOTHER! She's taking you out in 3 minutes! YOU'RE GONNA BE A SHORTCUT!
 * Awesome 3D!
 * I AM A GOOD FATHER!
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * Awesome 3D!
 * I AM A GOOD FATHER!
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * I AM A GOOD FATHER!
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * I AM A GOOD FATHER!
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.
 * Hi kids. How's it first day back.