Tommy's Cartoon

Mr. Pickles: Season: 3 - Episode: 9

[incomplete & unfixed/messed]

[opening]
 * Sir, Astronaut Dolphin Detective is doing space drugs!
 * Lock that damn dolphin up!
 * But, sir, he built a giant space bong and is now smoking our office!
 * Whoa! Whoa!
 * Despicable! Drug use on cartoons? Ugh!
 * What are drugs, Dad?
 * Drugs are bad, Tommy. Hmm, whatever happened to good, old-fashioned, wholesome cartoons?
 * Bye, Mr. Pickles! I go learn, now.
 * [PANTING] Now, the Earth is round and flat.
 * Both theories are equally valid.
 * Kids, listen up! I have a special guest here to teach you all about the dangers of Drugs! That's me, guys.
 * So don't do drugs and I'm-a to tell you why Skip ba badoo badow badoodoodoo Bang digidang gading dagong da doodly doo Rebabababow rabadoodidoodoo da Ringidang gadong gading gadong arangatang a vongana - Uh, Sheriff.
 * - Huh? Get to the part where you tell them why drugs are bad.
 * Oh, sorry.
 * I'm still working on the lyrics.
 * - Drugs aren't bad.
 * - Yeah! Haven't you see the cartoon "Astronaut Dolphin Detective"? - He makes drugs look fun! - Yeah! Like the episode where he did drugs and had sex with moon elves.
 * Or when he did drugs and beat the Martians to death with a pipe.
 * Or when he fingers the Tyrannosaurus parrot and then did drugs! - I want to do drugs.
 * - I want to do drugs, too.
 * Kids, just because you see something on TV doesn't mean you should do it.
 * Yeah! My dad says drugs are bad, too.
 * Huh? Why can't they make a cartoon that isn't about drugs? Yeah? Like what? Um, like a cartoon about a pineapple that wears a funny hat! [LAUGHTER] Say that again.
 * That was the dumbest idea ever.
 * Okay.
 * How about a cartoon about a pineapple that wears a funny hat! [LAUGHTER] The kids, they love his idea so, so do I.
 * - Jeffrey.
 * - Yeah? - Stop.
 * Stand.
 * Sit.
 * Fetch him.
 * - Okay! [WHIMPERING] Uh you wanted to see me? Your show, "Astronaut Dolphin Detective," is canceled.
 * What? But I just finished all these scripts.
 * - Jeffrey, stand.
 * Sit.
 * - Okay.
 * Now, roll over to prepare the jet! - Okay.
 * - Huh? You guys got a jet? You're finished in this town.
 * There's a new star, and his name is Tommy! Wait! Whoa! Whoa! Aw.
 * Now, children, there are all kinds of art.
 * [LAUGHS] Wee! Oh, man.
 * Tommy got "ADD" canceled.
 * - What? - Oh, no! - You're the worst! - You suck! - I did what? - Even this is art! Ah! Ah! Aah! Aah! Good job, Tommy! You've gotten a cartoon about drugs off the air! Tommy, my star, how would you like to make your cartoon about a pineapple that wears a funny hat, hmm? - Really? - Jeffrey, stand.
 * Speak.
 * Okay.
 * We'll set your studio up here.
 * Uh, you've got till 3 o'clock to finish before it airs.
 * Pick some friends to help you make the show, Tommy, and hurry up.
 * Time is money! Oh! - Pick me, Tommy! - Pick me, Tommy! Uh Jeffrey, hurry up with that equipment.
 * - I'm trying to - Bad assistant, stand.
 * Stop.
 * Sit.
 * Shake hands.
 * Now, get the equipment in there quick or no dinner for you.
 * Okay.
 * [WHINES, GROWLS] How about an episode where the pineapple that wears a funny hat hides in an alligator's butthole and does drugs? [LAUGHTER] No! No drugs! What else? Pineapple does drugs, and then he does more drugs! Pineapple doesn't do drugs.
 * - Well, what does he do? - He wears a funny hat! What if Pineapple's funny hat does drugs? - Ugh! - Wha? Where's the kid who got my show canceled?! - Him! He did it! - Uh Well, I just wanted to thank you.
 * - Huh? - Making cartoons is really hard, but now I have all this free time to do Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great.
 * Guys, we only have till 3 o'clock to finish, and we haven't come up with a story yet.
 * Oh! Ha ha! You just need some inspiration! Here, try some drugs! - Yay, drugs! - Cool, let's do drugs! No! Drugs are bad! Aah! My drugs! - Aw.
 * - Stupid Tommy! - Oh, you suck, Tommy! - Wait! There's always drugs on the bad side of town.
 * Come on, kids! Let's go do drugs! - Yay, drugs! - What? No! Mr. Pickles, let's go get Sheriff! Ah.
 * And done.
 * What the Why, hey! Ah! What? Hi, Tommy's parents.
 * We work in TV.
 * Tommy is going to make a cartoon for us, hmm.
 * - What? - Absolutely not! The stuff I've seen on cartoons is despicable! Not even for $50? Fifty big ones? Oh, I-I think we can work something out.
 * Drugs! Hey, look, kids, some drug dealers! - Yay, drugs! - Hello there.
 * Me and these kids want to get some drugs.
 * Uh, okay, here.
 * Wait.
 * You need to give us money.
 * Uh, y-yeah, yeah.
 * You got some money? Uh, I'll pay you back tomorrow? - Uh - Okay.
 * - We trust you.
 * - Freeze! Geez, you guys are the worst drug dealers I've ever seen.
 * Doink! Come on, kids! Let's go do drugs! - Yay, drugs! - Oh, no! - Mr. Pickles, stop them! - [BARKS] Sorry to burst your bubble, but you drug dealers are in big trouble! Oh, hey, that would be a good song lyric.
 * Here, hold this a sec.
 * Sorry to burst your bubble But you drug deal Huh? You let him get away with our d-drugs.
 * N-Now, you got to die.
 * You, uh, uh, and the kid.
 * Please, I have a cartoon to finish.
 * - Really? - Really? You need voice actors? I'm a leprechaun.
 * Now, I'm a robot.
 * Now Now, I'm a leprechaun again.
 * - You're amazing! - Really? Hey, look, I'm a f-farmer.
 * Eh, didn't seem believable.
 * Shut up, or I'll kill you, pig.
 * Now, that was a believable farmer.
 * You should hire these guys.
 * Come on, kids.
 * Let's do these drugs! Yum yum yum yum yum.
 * These drugs should kick in any sec.
 * Whoa-oa-oa! Hey, where'd he go? And sign here, here, here, here, here, here Jeffrey, hurry up.
 * Here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here.
 * Jeffrey, stand.
 * Sit.
 * Stand.
 * Sit.
 * Shake hands.
 * Now, give him the check.
 * Okay.
 * Wow, 50 big ones! Oh, boy! Wait.
 * So Tommy is making a cartoon? Yes.
 * Tommy had a brilliant idea about a pineapple that wears a funny hat.
 * Oh, wow.
 * Mr. Pickles is dragging somebody into his doghouse.
 * Oh, you just missed him.
 * That dog is evil! Dad, stop with your crazy stories.
 * An evil dog? - Ooh.
 * - Please, go on.
 * Really? Well, Mr. Pickles has a lair under his doghouse with a river of blood! He has three leather-wearing Steves that guard his lair.
 * One of them was my wife, but he shot her into outer space.
 * Did I mention the river of blood? All right.
 * The script is done.
 * Sheriff, you record the voices.
 * I'll animate.
 * Move it, people! We've only got an hour to finish the cartoon.
 * - Action.
 * - The hat I-is funny.
 * Cut.
 * Try it with more passion.
 * The hat I-is funny.
 * Good enough.
 * Action.
 * This is a funny hat.
 * Cut.
 * It's funnier if you emphasize funny.
 * One more note, and I'll show you what's fu-u-u-nny You, dead.
 * [LAUGHS] See, now, you're getting the hang of this.
 * What? Huh? Where am I? Whoa! These drugs are great.
 * Yum yum yum.
 * Ha ha! I can't believe what I'm seeing.
 * [LAUGHTER] Whoa, look at all the colors.
 * Let's go higher! Yum yum yum.
 * Higher! Yum yum yum.
 * [DING] Whoa! [LAUGHS] Whoa, it looks like my arms and legs are missing, cool! [DISTORTED] Whoa! Whoa.
 * It feels like my face is melting.
 * Yeah! Everybody, listen up.
 * Now I present to you a brand-new cartoon by our very own Tommy Goodman! - Way to go, Tommy! $50! - Yay, Tommy! I'm a pineapple.
 * Look at me walk.
 * Hey, pineap ple.
 * W-W-Want some drugs? Drugs are bad.
 * Oh.
 * We We will be nice now.
 * Also, the is hat is funny.
 * [ALL LAUGH] Want to wear my funny hat? Yeah.
 * [BOING!] This is a fu-u-u-nny hat.
 * [ALL LAUGH] W-We don't do drugs 'cause you told us the hat I-is funny.
 * Right.
 * And that is the end of this cartoon.
 * Cut.
 * Hey, this cartoon needs some theme music.
 * Sheriff, don't interrupt me.
 * Ugh, now, I have to start the cartoon over again.
 * I'm a pineapple.
 * Look at me walk.
 * - Boo! Boo! - This cartoon sucks! [GASPS] What are you doing? Our voices were great.
 * But Tommy's cartoon was terrible.
 * Now Now, you got to die.
 * If you think it's so easy, why don't you make your own cartoon? Perfect.
 * Tommy, you're fired.
 * You're hired.
 * - What? - Yay.
 * We won't sell drugs no more.
 * - Then, where will we get drugs? - Yeah! Aah! Argh! Drugs did this to me! Aah! And that's why drugs are bad.
 * Rababa baba badoodoodoo I'll never do drugs, no way.
 * Yeah, drugs are bad! Hooray! And authorities are still looking for a suspect in the murder of this TV executive.
 * It was an evil dog named Mr. Pickles.
 * Ha ha! That's crazy.
 * In other news, this new TV executive's new show premieres right now.
 * Mr. Pickles is an evil dog who has an underground lair with a river of b-blood.
 * That sounds crazy.
 * I would like to see See that.
 * - We are here.
 * - And I have a fun-funny hat.
 * [ALL LAUGH] Ugh.
 * Who would even watch this crap?