The Holographic Excitation


 * Penny: (reading a text) Ugh, it's from Leonard. He wants to go costume shopping later.
 * Amy: I thought you liked Halloween.
 * Penny: I do. It's just that he wants to go to that party at the comic book store. A lot of the guys that hang out there are kinda creepy.
 * Bernadette: Like my husband?
 * Amy: And my boyfriend?


 * (The scene at the comic store party where the so furious Bernadette snatches the drink off Howard)
 * Bernadette: (she is very cross indeed) Whoa, Drinky Smurf. (she puts the drink back onto the table with fury. Raj looks puzzled) Can I talk to you for a second? (she now pulls Howard's arm angrily)
 * Howard: Great, now I’m in trouble. You happy?
 * Bernadette: (she sends the couple out angrily) You, out! (she's now a billion times angry) You are being very rude.
 * Howard: No, I’m not. They’re all being rude. And you’re being rude.
 * Bernadette: Me? What did I do?
 * Howard: (he's imitating Bernadette) Oh, Howie, stop talking about space so much. Nobody likes it.
 * Bernadette: (she's pouting in low voice) I don't sound like that.
 * Howard: You’re my wife. You’re supposed to be on my side.
 * Bernadette: I’m always on your side.
 * Howard: Then why are you trying to take this away from me? Being an astronaut is the coolest thing I’m ever gonna do. If I stop talking about it, then I’m just…
 * Bernadette: Just what?
 * Howard: Just plain old Howard Wolowitz again.
 * Bernadette: Plain old Howard Wolowitz is the best guy I know.
 * Howard: You’re just saying that.
 * Bernadette: No, I’m not. I married him. On purpose. Come here.
 * Howard: I love you.
 * Bernadette: I love you, too.


 * Sheldon: It’s fascinating. Let me see if I can duplicate the result. Howard, I’ve always thought the lemon was an underrated fruit. Care to weigh in?
 * Howard: Not really.
 * Sheldon: Oh, well.
 * Howard: You know, people say the Soyuz capsule was a lemon. But, hey, that baby got me to space and back.


 * Howard: Boy, it’s nice to sleep in a bed with gravity again. (Bernadette takes her glasses off and puts on the bedside table) Did I tell you about the night my retainer floated out of my mouth and into the air lock?
 * Bernadette: (she's so tired of Howard's space story) Yeah, you mentioned it once or twice.
 * Howard: So, here we are, just a couple of young newlyweds. What to do? What to do to you? Astronaut Wolowitz, reporting for booty. Preparing thrusters. We have liftoff. Are we clear to jettison that nightgown?
 * Bernadette: (she's encourging Howard crossly) Okay, we need to talk.
 * Howard: What?
 * Bernadette: (1st time: she speaks in soft firmness) Howie, I know you went to space. I’m incredibly proud of you. But you might want to try and not bring it up every minute.
 * Howard: I don’t talk about it every minute.
 * Bernadette: (2nd time: she speaks in soft firmness) Tonight at dinner you went on bout it for an hour straight.
 * Howard: What was I supposed to talk about? We were eating at Johnny Rockets.
 * Bernadette: (3rd time: she speaks in soft firmness) I’m just saying, people are getting a little tired of it.
 * Howard: So, I did this amazing thing and I’m never allowed to mention it?
 * Bernadette: Of course you can. But maybe a good rule would be to wait for people to bring it up.
 * Howard: Okay, no problem. It won’t happen again.
 * Bernadette: I love you.
 * Howard: I love you, too. I can’t tell you how many times I dreamed I was in bed here with you when I was… you know. What, I can’t even point?
 * (Bernadette now gives Howard a hard glare just as the scene fades to black)


 * Bernadette: Thanks, so do you. Slutty cop?
 * Penny: No, sexy cop. Slutty cop only came with a skirt and two badges.
 * Bernadette: And Albert Einstein?
 * Leonard: Ja, und later she’s going to arrest me for goink fashter zen da shpeed of light.
 * Penny: I thought we said in the car, no accents?
 * Leonard: Sorry, Officer.


 * (Howard is dressed as Papa Smurf, reading a magazine. Bernadette walks in the room dressed as Smurfette.)
 * Bernadette: How do I look?
 * Howard: Fine.
 * Bernadette: Uh-oh, is someone a little blue? Come on, Howie, that’s like the funniest thing I’ve ever said in my life. What do you say? You ready to go?
 * Howard: To tell you the truth, I’m not really in the mood.
 * Bernadette: What are you talking about? It’ll be fun. All your friends’ll be there.
 * Howard: Yeah, some friends. They all think I’m boring. Maybe you should go without me.
 * Bernadette: No, if I’m there alone, people might think I’m just a really short person from Avatar.
 * Howard: I’m sorry. I just don’t want to go.
 * Bernadette: (she is now very cross) Hey, I just spent the last three hours coloring myself blue. I’m gonna be washing paint out of my Smurf for a month.
 * Howard: Fine. Two weeks ago I was an astronaut.
 * Bernadette: (she is still very cross) Yeah, well, now you’re a Smurf. Keep walking.