Of Moose and Squirrel

(Rocky and Bullwinkle are walking along a country road)

Narrator: When we last left our heroes, Rocky and Bullwinkle were looking for work in dust-bowl America!

Rocky: That lady at our last job sure did get mad when you touched her dress.

Bullwinkle: It was "the gropes of wrath".

Rocky: (agitaged) Or attempted rape.

(Rocky and Bullwinkle approach Boris and Natasha at their farm)

Boris: Howdy, comrades! I am Boris Farmvillainov and this is my wife, Natasha.

Narratorr: And so our heroes were given jobs as farmhands.

Bullwinkle: Did you hear that, Rocky? We're getting handjobs!

Natasha: Dollink, you is such handsome, evil genius.

Boris: The Great Depression is hard enough without your patronizing bullshit!

(cut to Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody sitting on bales of hay while Sherman loads hay into a bailer)

Sherman: Golly, Mr. Peabody. 1930s farmlife sure is hard.

Mr. Peabody: That's nothing, Sherman. This afternoon, you're collecting bull semen. Now freshen up my Arnold Palmer.

Bullwinkle: (patting Mr. Peabody's back) Boy, your fur looks soft. (pats Mr. Peabody's neck so hard, he snaps his neck and kills him)

Sherman: I'm free. I'm finally free! (goes into the WABAC machine and transports to ancient Rome, where he meets with sexy women) It's orgy time, bitches!

(cut to Bullwinkle and Natasha alone in a barn)

Natasha: Dollink, is it true what they say about men with big antlers?

Bullwinkle: Uhhh...I don't know. Want to watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat? (pulls out a hat and puts his hand through it, which hits Natasha and kills her)

(cut to Rocky and Bullwinkle alone in the woods; an angry mob is heard coming for them and Rocky is about to put Bullwinkle out of his misery)

Bullwinkle: Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.

Rocky: Oh Bullwinkle, I'm gonna miss how you were always holding me back. (cocks his shotgun)

Narrator: Can Rocky give his friend a dignified death?

(cut to Boris in the barn holding Natasha's dead, disembodied head)

Narrator: How will Boris cope with Natasha's untimely--oh God, that is just fucked up! (coughs) Sorry. Find out next time on "Mind Over Splatter" or "We Need to Talk About Kevin"!