Oh, Brother!

This is the transcript for The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 episode, "Oh, Brother!".

''[The curtain rises as Pipe Land and the title is shown. It's a dark and stormy day as a thunderstorm's happening throughout the Mushroom Kingdom, so Mario and Co. are inside Toad's house. Luigi's reading the book, Mario's dancing to a record and holding a plunger, and Princess and Toad are staring out the window.]''

Princess: Two straight weeks of rain! Ah, the Mushroom Kingdom is going to flood away if this doesn't stop soon.

Toad: Yeah, but the storm outside the house is nothing compared to the one inside!

[Luigi groans while angry when he puts his book over his head.]

Luigi: Mario, Turn that racket back down, Can't you see I'm trying to read?!

Mario: Well, I want to listen to music! This record's hot!

''[Mario continues to dance when Luigi walks to the gramophone and he picks up the record, The record music stopped. Mario stopped dancing.]''

Mario: Huh?!

[Luigi walks to the fireplace and tosses the record into the fireplace.]

Luigi: There! Now it's even hotter!

[The record melts.]

Mario: That was my favorite record!

Luigi: Well, serves you right for the time you busted my favorite wrench!

[Luigi pulls Mario's hat over his eyes, pulls the straps on his overalls, and pulls on his moustache.]

Mario: Oooh, I hate it when you do that!

Toad: Hey guys, chill out, will ya? It's being cooped up that's making you crazy!

Princess: Toad's right! Whatever happened to Super Mario brotherly love?

[Mario and Luigi starting to beating each other up when they continue to argue about stuff like brothers, The cloud dust appears.]

Luigi: Well, well, My brothers, So doing this!

[Mario and Luigi eventually stop, The cloud dust clears.]

Mario: As a matter of fact, I wish I didn't even have a brother!

Luigi: Oh yeah?! [In the outside, The thunderstorm appearing and hidding.] Well then consider yourself debrotherized! [Luigi walks to the door, Luigi opens up the door and walks outside into the rain.] Yeah, well farewell, ex-brother!

Princess: Luigi, it's really wet out there! You better take your Frog Suit!

Luigi: Hey, forget it.

Princess: Somebody better go after Luigi!

Toad: Yeah! It's not a fit night out for man nor Mushroom!

Mario: Uh, I guess I'll have to go, he's my brother. Even if that hammerhead can be more trouble than a flooded basement!

[Mario heads out after Luigi.]

Princess: Mario! Take your Frog Suit!

[Mario ignores Princess and continues walking, Elsewhere in the Mushroom Kingdom, we can see a bunch of shower heads in the sky that are hooked up to a pipe, which are responsible for all the rain.]

Kooky (heard off-screen): Looks like my brilliant new invention, the Power Shower, is a Koopa colossal success! I make it rain on the surface of the Mushroom Kingdom...

[''The rain pours into a warp zone on the ground, comes out of a pipe in Pipe Land, and starts gushing into all the other pipes. The water then washes away all of the coins inside of the pipes. The coins pour out of a pipe in an underground room and are collected in a strainer, while the water goes down a drain. Koopa and Kooky and standing next to the strainer.]''

Kooky: ...and flush out the gold coins, floating in the underground pipe world, so I can collect them here, in this underground dungeon! *jumps* Isn't that rich? Woah woah woah!

[A nearby pipe breaks and water blasts out, knocking the Koopas onto the floor, and starts to flood the room a little bit.]

Koopa: Hey smarty pants! Your Power Shower sprung a leak! Well don't just stand there, Kooky, FIX IT!

Kooky: I'm a mad genius, not a plumber!

Koopa: Then we'll have to Koopnap a pipe-patching expert! Get me one of the Mario Brothers!

[Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario catches up to Luigi, who's standing next to a tree.]

Mario: There you are, you former brother! I've been looking all over for you!

Luigi: Oh yeah, who asked you, faucet face?

[Luigi pulls on Mario's hat, overalls, and moustache again.]

Mario: Oooh, how many times do I have to tell you not do that?!

[Kooky's looking through a special parascope that he's inserted into a pipe, and has targeted the Brothers.]

Kooky: I've got the Mario Bros. on the Koopascope, King Dad! How should we decide which one toKoopnap? Flip a gold coin?

Koopa: Don't be ridiculous Kooky! We'll choose the scientific way!

''[Koopa walks over to a pair of dartboards, each with one of the Marios' heads on them. Koopa points at the dartboards.]''

Koopa: Eenie meenie minie mo! I Koop you, Mario!

[Koopa ends up pointing at the Mario dartboard.]

Kooky: Say no more, Kooper Dooper dad! Just watch me do my nasty stuff!

[Kooky removes the Koopascope from the pipe and returns with something that resembles a fishing rod.]

Kooky: I'll catch that faucet face with another of my nifty gizmos, the Plumber Pole!

[Kooky casts it into the pipe, Back to the Brothers.]

Mario: Oh yeah! You don't even know enough to wear a Frog Suit out in the wet!

Luigi: I don't NEED a Frog Suit!

[The hook from the line comes out of the pipe and attaches itself to Mario.]

Mario: Hey, where'd this hook and line come from? It's not fishing season!

Kooky: Now, a big jerk for that big plumber jerk!

[Kooky pulls the Plumber Pole back, causing Mario to go along with it.]

Luigi: Yeesh, Mario's been caught like a catfish! And he's getting pulled into a warp zone!

[Mario screams as he enters the Pipe Maze.]

Mario: Uh-oh, a pipe world! I'm going down the drain!

[Kooky continues to reel Mario through the pipes until he comes out in the dungeon.]

Mario: Woah!

[Two Hammer Brothers stand next to Mario.]

Kooky: It worked, my evil daddy-o! Mario's our prisoner!

Koopa: Kooky, you're so bad, I'm proud to be your dad!

[The two of them laugh.]

Mario: Looks like I'm plumber out of luck!

[Mario's now tied up on the ground.]

Mario: Fix your own leaky plumbing, you Koopa crackpot. I'll never help you!

Koopa: Wanna bet, pipesqueek?

[Kooky picks up a helmet with wires and bulbs attached.]

Kooky: We have the power to make you do anything we want, thanks to my latest genius invention, the Lame Brainer!

[Kooky places the Lame Brainer on Mario's head.]

Mario: Heh heh, nice try Koopa, but it's gonna take a lot more than a silly party hat to make me-

''[The Lame Brainer lights up and Mario stops talking. He manages to break open the rope.]''

Mario: (hypnotic voice) Koopmasters, your wish is my command!

Kooky: I'm so smart! Oh, he's plumber's putty in our hands!

Koopa: Quit patting yourself on the back, Kooky! Put him to the ultimate test!

[Kooky runs off and returns with some pasta.]

Kooky: Mario! Here's a tasty, delicious, and all around scrumptious bowl of pasta!

Mario: Mmmm, I'm starving!

Kooky: But Mario, you HATE pasta!

Mario: Ew, I hate pasta! Yuck!

Koopa: Kooptastic! Now make him fix that leak before we're up to our snouts in water!

[Koopa shakes some water off his foot.]

Koopa: Oh, I hate it when my tootsy wootsies get wet!

[Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Luigi is standing next to the warp zone.]

Luigi: Looks like I'm gonna have to save that bilge brain brother of mine! Him and his dumb advice about wearing a *jumps in* Frog Suit!

''[Luigi ends up in the flooded Pipe Maze, A Boss Bass spots Luigi and chases him away. Back at Toad's house, Toad and Princess are reading in front of the fireplace. Luigi runs inside, goes into the closet, exits wearing a Frog Suit, hops out the door, and returns to Pipe Land. The song Brotherly Love starts.]''

Lyrics
🎶 I say yes, You say no, I like rain, You like snow, It's one of the wonders I've made up, We'll call it brotherly love, I feel happy, You feel sad, I stay cool, When you get mad, It's one of the wonders I've made up, We'll call it brotherly love, We call it brotherly love 🎶

Continues to script when the song ended
[''Luigi zooms past the Boss Bass and dodges the attacks of a Lava Lotus. A Blooper Nanny comes out of a pipe and starts to chase Luigi. Luigi tricks her into entering a small compartment and locks her and her kids in. The song ends.]''

Luigi: Well, that oughta hold those fish breath foes! Now to rescue Mario!

[Back in the dungeon, Mario fixes the pipe.]

Mario: There my Koopmasters, the leak in the Power Shower is fixed!

[The Koopas clap their hands when Luigi falls out of the pipe.]

Luigi: Woooaaah!!! Oof! *coughs*

Koopa: It's Luigi! What's that clog clearing clodhopper doing here?

Luigi: Hey you two rancid reptiles! What have you done to my brother?

Kooky: We've turned him into our slave! Thanks to my Super Kooper invention!

Koopa: And here's the proof! Mario; smash, crush, pound, destroy that frog-faced brother of yours!

Mario: Yes Koopmaster!

[Mario goes after Luigi with his wrench.]

Luigi: Hey, Mario, stop! Don't you know who I am? It's Luigi!

Mario: Smash, crush, pound, destroy!

[Mario tries to hit Luigi with the wrench a few times.]

Luigi: Hey, Mamma-mia! Somehow I've got to get Mario to remember I'm his brother!

[Mario tries again but misses.]

Luigi: Mario, think of all the fun we had as kids! All the drains we've unclogged! Remember the time you lost your favorite screwdriver and I gave you one of mine?

Mario: I'll get that frog!

Luigi: Oh boy, looks like I'm gonna have to try another approach!

[Luigi pulls the Lame Brainer over Mario's eyes, and then pulls on his overalls and moustache.]

Mario: (normal voice) Oh, I hate it when you do that!

[The Lame Brainer flies off Mario's head and lands on Kooky's.]

Luigi: Hey, are you alright, brother?

Mario: Fine as a newt fossil, thanks to you, brother! Glad to see you took my advice about wearing a Frog Suit!

[The Lame Brainer reactivates as the brothers walk up to Kooky.]

Mario: Kooky, give old Koopa a Koop where it counts!

Kooky: (hypnotic voice) Your wish is my command, Mario masters!

[Kooky walks up to Koopa.]

Koopa: Aah! Kooky, what are you doing? I'm your dear old King Dad!

[Koopa starts to run off screaming as Kooky follows him.]

Kooky: Smash, crush, pound, destroy!

[Kooky chases Koopa all the way out of the dungeon when Koopa screams.]

Luigi: Heh heh, hey, nice going brother!

[They shake hands.]

Mario: Same to you, brother!

[Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, the Marios are back at Toad's house and it has stopped raining.]

Princess: Thanks to you, Mario and Luigi, the Power Shower has been dismantled, and all the gold coins have been returned to the Pipe World, where they belong!

Toad: Way to go, plumber dudes!

Luigi: Yeah, and best of all, Mario and I have agreed to never fight again!

Mario: That's right! And besides, that argument was all my fault!

Luigi: Well, I beg your pardon, brother, but I believe that argument was all my fault!

Mario: No brother, it was all mine!

Luigi: I insist it was all my fault, brother!

Mario: Well I insist it was all mine, brother!

Princess and Toad: Oh, Brother!

[Luigi does the pulling routine again.]

Mario: Huh. Brothers! Ya can't live with 'em, ya can't live without 'em!

[The curtain falls and the episode fades out.]