Kiss My Granny

(Scene: WordGirl and Huggy are hovering over the city. WordGirl looks around in different directions.)

Narrator: When we last saw WordGirl, she had just flown off in search of Granny May, the sweet old lady who robbed an armored car!

WordGirl: (to Huggy) We better find her quickly! There’s no telling who she’s going to hurt next!

(Scene changes to just outside Ye Olde Fancy Schmancy Jewelry Store. After a few seconds, it fades to inside the store, where Granny May is talking to Reginald, the store clerk.)

Granny May: You are just so cute, I could eat you up!

Reginald: Madame, you are correct. I am simply adorable.

Granny May: Maybe you could help me pick out something nice. (Points to inside the display case) Oooh, I like that!

Reginald: The Hoboken diamond! (Pulls it out and proudly holds it up) Look at it, it’s dazzling!

Granny May: Why is it a jazz ring? I don’t hear any music!

Reginald: No, it’s dazzling! Dazzling means quite shiny, almost blinding.

Granny May: Almost a lime ring? I thought it was a jazz ring!

Reginald: No dear...dazzling! (getting exasperated) Oh-- never mind.

Granny May: I like it! But it’s a little big...

Reginald: I thought so.

Granny May: ...to wear alone! How about I try on all this other stuff, too?

Reginald: (beaming) I love you.

(Scene cuts to WordGirl and Huggy flying over the city)

Narrator: Meanwhile, still flying around…

WordGirl: Where is she?

Narrator: (acting as if he is coughing, so he can subtly provide a clue under his breath) ahem...The jewelry store!

WordGirl: Thanks!

Narrator: Don’t mention it. Meanwhile…

(Back inside the jewelry store, Granny May is shown decked out in all of the jewels from the display case.)

Granny May: How do I look?

Reginald: My dear, you look like a dazzling fashion victim.

Granny May: A sizzling phased Abe Lincoln?

Reginald: Yes.. sure.

Granny May: Excellent, I’ll take it all.

Reginald: Oh, very good! And how will you be paying for it?

Granny May: Oh, I won’t be paying... Eugene!

(Eugene comes through the door, walks up to Reginald, and grabs him tightly with one of his giant hands.)

Reginald: (straining to speak) Uh… would you like a bag?

Granny May: I’ll just wear it out!

Reginald: At your service!

(WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face come through the front door of the jewelry store.)

WordGirl: Put him down!

Granny May: What a cute little girl! Would you and your puppy like a lollipop?

WordGirl: You can stop the sweet old lady act. I’m on to you!

Reginald: Well! Is that how you speak to an elder? Especially one who looks like a sizzling advanced Abe Lincoln?

WordGirl: What?

Reginald: A dazzling fashion victim! Please!

WordGirl: Oh, well that makes more sense! Dazzling means really flashy, even blinding… which you are.

Granny May: Come again? (Begins to reach into her purse for something)

WordGirl: Dazzling. Like that sign across the street!

Granny May: Oh...I see what you mean!

(As she says this, she flings two lollipops toward a set of light switches. They hit the switches, turning on flood lights which reflect off of her jewelry, sending out a bright light that temporarily blinds WordGirl.)

Granny May: How’s THAT for dazzling?

(Granny May then points her knitting needles at them. It shoots out a stream of purple yarn, which wraps itself around WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face, trapping them.)

Granny May: Eugene, show WordGirl how you play “Squish the Knitting”! (Eugene drops Reginald, and walks toward WordGirl)

Narrator: Is this the end for WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face? Is there really a game called Squish the Knitting? We’ll most likely answer these questions in the next thrill-packed episode of WordGirl!