Ono the Tickbird

ONO: This way everyone!

(RHINO GRUNTING IN DISTANCE)

BESHTE: What a mess!

ONO: The rhino's headed for the baboons' tree!

KION: Then we better get there first.

FULI: On it.

(BABOON SCREECHES)

(GRUNTS)

FULI: What just happened?

ONO: Hapana! We're too late!

(ALL SCREECHING)

BUNGA: Un-Bunga-lievable! It's raining baboons!

ONO: Not exactly. Look!

BESHTE: Hey! That's Kifaru! But he's a nice rhino. Why's he smashin' into things?

KION: I dunno, Beshte.

KION & BESHTE: (BOTH GASP)

BABOON: (CHATTERING)

KION: But we've got to stop him before he really hurts somebody. Come on!

BUNGA: Hey, you know, we could just catch the baboons...

BABOON: (SCREECHING)

BUNGA: (GRUNTS) Or... Or maybe not.

KION: Kifaru! Stop shaking that tree!

KIFARU: Don't yell at me. I didn't put the tree here!

BESHTE: Hey, Kifaru? What's the kerbubble?

KIFARU: Oh, Beshte. It's you. I'm kinda stuck.

BESHTE: Don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay. The Lion Guard's here now.

KION: We'll get you loose, Kifaru. Then you can tell us what happened.

KIFARU: Oh, that would be wonderful.

KION: Beshte, you push the tree that way. Fuli, Bunga, and I will move Kifaru the other way. Ono, watch his horn but don't get too close.

ONO: You don't have to tell me twice.

KION: Everybody ready? Now, go!

(ALL GRUNTING)

ONO: Okay, doing great... So close... Yes!

KIFARU: (GROANING) Thank you! You don't know how it felt to be stuck like that!

BUNGA: (STRAINED) I kinda do!

KIFARU: Oh. (GRUNTS) Sorry, Bunga.

BUNGA: And I thought your pointy end was the dangerous one.

KION: So what's going on, Kifaru? Why're you causing so much trouble?

KIFARU: What trouble?

KION: You shook the baboons out of their tree.

KIFARU: So that's what they were shouting about...

ONO: Not to mention knocking down a whole bunch of trees before that.

KIFARU: Oh... I thought it was odd that so many trees were growing on the path to Lake Matope.

BUNGA: Hey! Look out!

KIFARU: Oh, sorry!

FULI: Whoa! Watch where you point that thing!

KIFARU: Sorry! Sorry! I better be on my way.

BESHTE: He's going to run into another tree.

KION: It's like he doesn't know it's there.

ONO: (GASPS) He doesn't! He doesn't have his tickbird! Kifaru! Stop, stop!

KIFARU: Ono? What's wrong?

ONO: You tell me. What happened to your tickbird?

KIFARU: (SIGHS) You mean Mwenzi?

BESHTE: That's right. Mwenzi! I see you guys together all the time.

KIFARU: Not anymore you won't. He left me this morning. No reason or anything. He just flew away.

ONO: That explains everything!

BUNGA: It does?

ONO: Absolutely! Rhinos have very poor eyesight...

BUNGA: Ono! Shh! He's standing right there!

KIFARU: Believe me, I know all about it. My eyesight's worse than most rhinos!

ONO: That's why rhinos partner with tickbirds. The tickbirds ride on the rhinos and warn them about dangers that the rhinos can't see! Common knowledge, really.

BESHTE: That's awfully nice of them!

FULI: What's in it for the tickbirds?

ONO: Ticks, of course.

FULI: Ugh.

KIFARU: And all the other bugs they find on our backs! They eat 'em all up!

BUNGA: Mmm! Sounds like a good deal to me.

KIFARU: Oh, it is!

¶ Tickbirds and rhinos

¶ We're always a pair

¶ Together we go

¶ Everywhere

¶ He's always guiding me along

¶ Cleaning all the pesky bugs

right off of my back

¶ Tickbirds and rhinos

¶ We're always a pair ¶

(SIGHS)

BESHTE: So you didn't mean to cause all that trouble. You just can't see where you're going.

KIFARU: That's right. I'm really sorry. I was just trying to go to Tamasha.

FULI: What's Tamasha?

KIFARU: Every wet season, all us rhinos get together near Lake Matope. And we all spar in the mud. (SOBS) It's great.

BESHTE: Poor guy seems awfully sad he won't get to go.

KION: That's why we need to find Mwenzi and get him to come back.

FULI: But what if we can't find him in time to get Kifaru to Tamasha?

BUNGA: I know! We find him a temporary tickbird to take him there. A tickbird like me!

KION: You?

BUNGA: Sure! Riding around the savannah with all the bugs I can eat? What could be better? Kifaru! Say hello to your new tickbird! Zuka Zama!

KIFARU: Bunga? But you're not a bird!

BUNGA: Trust me! I'll getcha to Lake Matope and have a snack!

KIFARU: Okay.

BESHTE: Uh, well, bye, Kifaru! See ya, Little B!

BUNGA: See ya!

BESHTE: I think Bunga's gonna do a great job guiding Kifaru.

ONO: No, he's not! Kifaru! Kifaru, stop!

KIFARU: Huh?

BUNGA: Huh. Look at that.

ONO: Kifaru. Step back slowly.

KIFARU: Uh, okay, Ono.

ONO: That's it, keep going.

BUNGA: Sorry, Kirafu. I was having so much fun snacking, I forgot to look where we were going!

KION: Wow! Kifaru really listened to you, Ono.

ONO: Well, you know. It's a rhino/bird thing.

BESHTE: Poa! You'd be great at helping Kifaru get to Lake Matope.

FULI: Definitely!

ONO: Wait. You want me to be Kifaru's tickbird?

KION: You are the keenest of sight...

ONO: Which is why you need me to help find Kifaru's real tickbird!

FULI: Kion and I can track Mwenzi by scent.

BESHTE: And I know what he looks like. He's got a bright red beak.

ONO: But I'm a member of the Lion Guard. I can't just sit around on some rhino's back all day!

KION: You won't be just sitting around, Ono. By guiding Kifaru to Tamasha, you'll be protecting the Pride Lands.

ONO: But... But...

KION: And protecting the Pride Lands is the Lion Guard's duty.

ONO: Yeah. You're right.

BUNGA: Hey, Ono. You, uh, want some tips from a former tickbird?

ONO: You have tips? You nearly guided him off a cliff!

BUNGA: Okay, fine, no tips. Suit yourself.

ONO: (SIGHS)

FULI: (SNIFFS) I got the scent. You?

KION: (SNIFFS) Yeah. Let's go find Mwenzi.

BESHTE: See you later, Ono!

ONO: Bye.

BUNGA: Save me some ticks!

KIFARU: Okay Ono. Which way to Lake Matope?

ONO: (SIGHS) To the right.

KIFARU: Righty-o!

ONO: No! No! Your other right! Other right!

KIFARU: Oh, my other right! Why didn't you say so?

ONO: (GROANS) This is going to be a long trip.

KIFARU: (SNORTING AND GRUNTING)

ONO: (GROANS)

KIFARU: Everything okay, Ono?

ONO: Fine. Fine. Everything's fine. Just keep walking.

KIFARU: Okey-dokey. (CONTINUES GRUNTING AND SNORTING)

ONO: Okay. We want to take the path to the right.

KIFARU: Righty-o.

ONO: No, the other right. The other right. It's this way!

KIFARU: Okay, okay. You don't have to shout. Mwenzi never shouted. Until... (SNIFFLES) Until he decided to leave. (CRYING)

ONO: Oh, I'm sorry. I just... (GRUNTS) Ow!

KIFARU: Ono? I have an itch.

ONO: Okay...

KIFARU: When rhinos have itches, their tickbirds scratch them. Mwenzi did it for me all the time.

ONO: I see. Okay. Where's the itch?

KIFARU: Inside my ear.

ONO: Of course it is. (GRUNTING) There you go. Now...

KIFARU: You didn't get it.

ONO: (WHIMPERS)

KIFARU: Up a little... Wait, now down just a little...

ONO: Okay. Why don't we get going to Lake Matope now?

KIFARU: But Mwenzi wouldn't stop scratching till I told him to stop.

ONO: Kifaru, I'm not Mwenzi.

KIFARU: No. No, you're not... (BELCHING LOUDLY) Excuse me.

ONO: (SIGHS) I hope the guard finds Mwenzi soon.

KIFARU: Ono, I may not see very well, but my hearing is perfect. And Mwenzi would never mutter under his breath!

ONO: (SIGHS) Sorry.

KION & FULI: (BOTH SNIFFING)

BESHTE: I think I've seen this tree before.

FULI: You have. We're just going around in circles. We just can't seem to get a good scent!

KION: (SNIFFING)

KION: Hey, I think Mwenzi's been here!

FULI: (SNIFFS) Yeah. Pretty recently too.

BUNGA: Maybe he's still here! I'll check it out! Zuka Zama! (BUNGA EXCLAIMING) Nope! No sign of... Hey, look!

(BIRD CHIRPING)

BUNGA: Is that him?

KION: I didn't see it!

MWENZI: (CHIRPS)

FULI: There! I saw a red beak!

BUNGA: Big B, you know Mwenzi. Is that him?

BESHTE: I'm not sure. He flew by so fast. Mwenzi! I don't know if that's not Mwenzi, or he's just ignoring me.

KION: I have an idea.

BESHTE: Oh, no! I'm a lonely little rhino covered with ticks! If only I had a tickbird to help me out!

MWENZI: Don't worry, little rhino! I'll help you! Hey! I don't have any ticks back here! What gives?

BESHTE: Hey, there, Mwenzi!

MWENZI: Beshte? But you're not a rhino!

BUNGA: Ha! But you're just the tickbird we've been looking for!

MWENZI: (CAWS) Uh-uh? Lion Guard? What do you want with me?

KION: Sorry we tricked you, Mwenzi. But it was the only way to get you to stop and talk to us.

MWENZI: Talk about what?

FULI: Uh, Kifaru.

MWENZI: Oh. Him. What about him?

FULI: Well, without you, he's causing all sorts of damage.

BESHTE: He really needs his tickbird.

KION: You have to come back to him.

MWENZI: After what he did? No way!

FULI: What'd he do?

KION: He said you just flew off for no reason.

MWENZI: No reason? No reason? Is that what he said? No reason?

BUNGA: So you're saying there was a reason?

MWENZI: Uh, yeah! We were running late for Tamasha, and he blamed me! We're always late. It's always Kifaru's fault! But he always blames me! So what would you do?

FULI: (SCOFFS) I'd leave and I wouldn't look back.

KION: (COUGHS)

FULI: But, uh, that doesn't mean it's what you should do.

BESHTE: Yeah, Mwenzi. You and Kifaru were such good friends. He seems pretty lost without you. And not just because he can't see!

BUNGA: Though he really can't see!

KION: Doesn't seem like you're doing so great either. Looked like you were just flying around aimlessly.

MWENZI: Well, uh, I am used to having a job to do.

KION: Looking after Kifaru, right?

MWENZI: Yeah.

BESHTE: Just come with us and talk to him. Real friends work things out.

MWENZI: You really think he misses me?

BESHTE: Of course he does. Look how much time you spent together. How could he not?

MWENZI: (SIGHS) Okay. I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk to him.

KIFARU: (SNORTING AND GRUNTING)

ONO: Whew. (SIGHS) Here you go!

KIFARU: What are these?

ONO: Jackalberry leaves. You asked for them. I had to fly halfway across the savannah to...

KIFARU: But I like the dark green jackalberry leaves.

ONO: How am I supposed to know that?

KIFARU: Well, Mwenzi knows.

ONO: I'm not Mwenzi!

KIFARU: Hmm, you know, Ono... I should actually thank you.

ONO: You think so?

KIFARU: Yes. If you weren't so bad at being a tickbird, I'd never know how wonderful Mwenzi really was.

ONO: Well, you're welcome. Wait, what?

KIFARU: (PANTING)

ONO: Ah! Kifaru! What's wrong?

KIFARU: All this walking's got me overheated.

ONO: Oh! Uh, well, the lake's not too much farther...

KIFARU: Mwenzi'd always make sure I was near mud to cool off. Maybe I can dig for some mud.

ONO: Huh. Here. Let me help.

KIFARU: Oh! Oh, this is nice! Mwenzi's so much smaller than you. He could never do something like this for me.

ONO: (SCOFFS) Did you just say I was better at something than Mwenzi?

KIFARU: Oh, yeah. Little Mwenzi couldn't do this if he tried. Ono, you're the best.

MWENZI: Ono's the best? I thought you said Kifaru was lost without me?

KION: But he was! You should have seen him...

MWENZI: I do see him! And I see that he's doing just fine! Well, if that's what he wants... Kifaru!

ONO: Huh? Mwenzi?

KIFARU: Mwenzi! You came back!

MWENZI: Only to say this. Goodbye forever!

KIFARU: No!

ONO: Mwenzi, wait!

KIFARU: Mwenzi! Well, Ono, looks like you'll have to be my tickbird from now on.

ONO: Mwenzi! Wait, wait! We need to talk!

KION: Ono, stop! What about Kifaru? It's not safe to leave him alone!

ONO: Then you four take care of him! I'm getting that tickbird back!

BUNGA: Hey, Kifaru! We're back in business! Bring on the bugs! Hey! Did Ono eat 'em all?

KION: You okay, Kifaru?

KIFARU: Well, I just lost my tickbird and my backup tickbird. (SIGHS) How do you think I feel?

KION: Know what'll make you feel better? Sparring with other rhinos at Tamasha! Come on, Kifaru. Let's get you to Lake Matope.

KIFARU: Oh, okay... Thanks. Maybe Tamasha will make me feel better.

KION: Hop down, Bunga.

BESHTE: Go straight! Go straight!

KIFARU: Whoops. My bad.

ONO: Mwenzi! Mwenzi! Mwenzi! What are you doing? You can't stay here.

MWENZI: You can't order me around, Ono. I'm not your rhino.

ONO: I don't have a rhino. And I'm not ordering you around. It's just not safe here. Makuu and his crocodiles hang out here. If you don't want to get eaten, you have to move!

MWENZI: Oh, yeah? Why would I listen to you? You were trying to take my place!

ONO: I wasn't! And I couldn't, anyway. The whole time I was with Kifaru, all he did was complain and wish I was you.

MWENZI: That's not what it looked like to me.

ONO: I couldn't do anything right. Speaking of right, how do you get him to make a right turn?

MWENZI: Why should I tell you?

ONO: So you couldn't get him to turn right either?

MWENZI: Of course I could! You just make him turn three lefts!

ONO: Three lefts? Why didn't I think of that? See, that's what makes you a great tickbird.

MWENZI: I did my best. Kifaru never was good with directions.

ONO: So how do you handle the noises? You know, the... (IMITATES LOUD SNORING)

MWENZI: (LAUGHS) No, no, it's more like... (IMITATES SNORTING AND GRUNTING)

ONO: (LAUGHS) Yes! Yes! That's it! That's totally it!

MWENZI: Yeah, he's a mess. (SIGHS) He's kind of my mess, though.

¶ Tickbirds and rhinos

¶ We're always a pair

¶ Together we go

¶ Everywhere

¶ Takin' me for a ride while I eat all those bugs right off his back

¶ Tickbirds and rhinos

We're always a pair ¶

(SIGHS) There's something about a tickbird and his rhino.

ONO: You miss him, don't you?

MWENZI: Oh, he drives me crazy, but he's my best friend. Does that make sense?

ONO: One of my best friends is a honey badger. (CHUCKLES) You should hear the noises he makes.

BOTH: (LAUGH)

MAKUU: Hmm. Lunchtime.

ONO: I'm sure you two can work things out. Just come back with me and talk to him.

MWENZI: You know what? I will.

ONO: Great! Let's go!

MAKUU: (GRUNTS)

MWENZI: Ah! Ono!

ONO: (GASPS) Hapana!

MAKUU: (GROWLING)

ONO: Hold on!

(GRUNTS)

MWENZI: Ono, my wing! I can't fly!

ONO: Just stay here. I'll go get help!

MWENZI: (STUTTERS) Okay, Ono.

MAKUU: (LAUGHS)

KION: Hey, look, Kifaru! We're almost there!

KIFARU: Really?

BESHTE: Take our word for it.

ONO: Everyone, everyone! Mwenzi's in trouble!

KIFARU: Who cares about him?

ONO: Makuu's got him trapped!

KIFARU: Makuu the crocodile? Mwenzi doesn't stand a chance! I gotta save him!

FULI: Any chance he's going the right way?

KIFARU: (GRUNTING) Mwenzi! I'm coming!

ONO: Amazingly enough, he is!

KION: And we better go with him! Till the Pride Lands end...

ALL: Lion Guard defend!

MAKUU: (GRUNTING)

MWENZI: Oh, why don't you just give it up, Makuu? I'm not about to fall, and I'm too high for you to reach.

MAKUU: I might have a trick or two that'll surprise you.

(YELLING)

MWENZI: (GASPS)

(GASPING)

MAKUU: You won't be so lucky next time.

KIFARU: There won't be a next time, Makuu!

MWENZI: Kifaru? You came for me?

KIFARU: Leave my friend alone!

(GRUNTS)

(LOUD THUD)

(GRUNTS)

MAKUU: (LAUGHS) Nice try, rhino. But this does change things. It's no longer a small snack...

CROCODILES: (GROWLING)

MAKUU: (CHUCKLES) A great big meal like this is gonna take more than one croc to bring down!

KIFARU: (GRUNTING) Just wait till I get loose, Makuu!

MAKUU: No, I don't think we will.

KION: Think again, Makuu!

MAKUU: Oh, (GROANS) the Lion Guard... This isn't your business, Kion. Back off!

KION: No chance, Makuu!

(GRUNTS)

FULI: Huwezi!

BUNGA: Pick on someone your own size!

BESHTE: Twende Kiboko!

(GRUNTING)

MWENZI: It's okay, Kifaru! You can do it!

KIFARU: Mwenzi?

MWENZI: Move your foot back and to the right! Your other right! Your other right!

KIFARU: Got it!

MWENZI: Now brace yourself against that rock and pull!

KIFARU: (GRUNTING)

MALE CROCODILE: (GROWLING)

MWENZI: (SCREAMS)

KIFARU: Mwenzi? Uh-oh! What'd I hit? Sorry!

MWENZI: No, you did great! Keep swinging! Keep swinging!

KIFARU: Oh! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS)

BUNGA: Un-Bunga-lievable!

MAKUU: (SIGHS) No meal's worth this. Forget it!

KIFARU: Too late, Makuu!

MAKUU: (GRUNTS)

(SPLASHES)

KIFARU: That's what you get when you mess with my best friend.

KION: Great job, guys.

KIFARU: Thanks. I couldn't have done it without my tickbird.

MWENZI: And I couldn't have done it without my rhino.

¶ Tickbirds

KIFARU: ¶ And rhinos

BOTH: ¶ We're always a pair ¶

KIFARU: Uh, Ono? I'm sorry, but you can't be my tickbird anymore. I hope you're not too upset.

ONO: Oh, I think I'll manage.

RHINOS: (BOTH GRUNTING)

(ALL CHEERING)

KIFARU: Yeah! Go! Hmm? Oh. Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Go!

TICKBIRD: Gotta tell ya, I'm surprised to see you here. I heard you two split up!

MWENZI: Who, us?

BOTH: Never!

KIFARU: Whoo!

KION: Looks like they're having a really great time.

FULI: (CHUCKLES) Totally. I'm glad they made it here together.

BESHTE: It must be great to have a friend with you all the time.

BUNGA: Yeah! Hey, Ono! Wanna be my tickbird?

ONO: (LAUGHS) I'll always be your friend, Bunga. But my tickbird days are over.

(LION GUARD LAUGHING)