Dunder Mifflin Infinity

Michael: We had a foreign exchange student live with us when I was young. And we called him my brother. And that's who I thought he was. Um, then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia, taking all of my blue jeans with him. And I had to spend the entire winter in shorts. That is what Ryan is like. A fake brother who steals your jeans.

 Michael: Where are the turtles? Where? WHERE ARE THE TURTLES? WHERE ARE THEY?

 Michael : I drove my car into a ******* lake.

Dwight Schrute: I'm gonna live for a very long time. My grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My grandpa Manheim, he's 103. He's still puttering down in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once, but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation.