Gary Takes a Bath

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Gary Takes a Bath" from season 2, which aired on March 7, 2001.

Plot
SpongeBob: Gary! Looks like it's that time of week again: bath time. (Gary's pupils get bigger.) Come on, let's go get the water started. You're gonna have to get in that tub, Gary. Now, Gary, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way, or the medium way, or the semi-medium-easy-hard way, or the sorta hard with a touch of awkward-easy-difficulty-challenging way... So that's how you wanna play it, huh? Gary! Check out this new toy. (Throws the ball to Fetch.)..(toy boomerangs back to SpongeBob and reads the box) *New* Boomerang Pet Ball: Really Works! Hmmm. (throws the box but it boomerangs back and hits SpongeBob in the head) Gary! There's a bomb strapped to my chest! It's gonna explode in 3 seconds unless you take a bath!... Please... (bomb explodes)... I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages. (random pictures come up then a Scottish Girl picture appears) "I'm sorry you had to see that." (on the phone) Hello, Fancy French Restaurant? I've got a naughty snail here who won't take a bath. What? Can you say that again? Slow down. It's like your speaking some other language! (hangs up) Hey Gar! How 'bout some leap frog? Weehee! Ok, your turn. (flips Gary into the wall and breaks his shell, then we see Gary with his shell bandaged) Hey Gar! How 'bout some leap frog? (Gay hits him in the head with a cane)... I've got a crisp dollar bill for the next fella to take a bath in this house! (Mr Krabs comes in taking a bath then takes the dollar)... Ya-da-da-da... stops dancing That didn't work either, huh? (SpongeBob dresses as a pirate) Gary! Gary! Look what I found! It's an old, pirate treasure map revealing a location of buried pirate treasure in this very house. Come on, boy, let's go get that treasure. Whoo! Ok, Gary, now 40 paces to the left. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...24, 25, 26, twenty seveeen,... 40. The treasure must be in here! (opens bathroom door) Wow, Gary, look! A pirate treasure chest.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Why no, Gary, this isn't the bathtub. It's treasure. Look, dabloons. (shows 2 bars of soap) Don't drop 'em... Look at this ducky! (shows a rubber duck)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: I don't know what a snail would want with a broach. Now why don't you just get into the tub. (trys to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful) Get in the tub! (trys to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) Get in the tub!! (trys to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) Get in the tub... (trys to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) In the tub. (trys to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) In the tub. (trys to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) Now, Gary, are you gonna get in this tub or am I gonna have to... picks up Gary but both stick to the ceiling Gary, could you... (one of Gary's eyes go back in and SpongeBob loses grip) Gary, no! Gary! (SpongeBob falls in the tub). Alright, Gary, you have dooped, and/or, frustrated me for the last time. So, if I can't get you to come to the bath, I'll just have to bring the bath come to you. (absorbs all the water in the bathtub). Psst, Gary. Bath delivery. (SpongeBob spits water at Gary but misses). Come back, Gary. I have something to share with you. (SpongeBob spits a lot of water at Gary but misses) Now this is more like it. Water you waiting for, Gary?

Gary: (meowing in a tree)

SpongeBob: Aww, stuck in a tree? It's time to clean up your act, Gary. (spits out water at Gary but realizes its a record playing Gary's meows). Oh, no! I bathed Gary too hard and removed his skin. (Gary takes the ladder off the tree) Gary! Bring that ladder back this instant. I am really not amused, mister. You are going to take a bath, and you are going to get clean right now.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: I am so the boss of you!

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: It may be a free country, but you live in my house under my rules.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Don't use that tone of voice with me. You will do what I say when I say. What are you doing? I am talking to you, mister. Do not go near that mud puddle! Gary, the snail, do you hear me? I am giving you three seconds to get away from that mud puddle. One, two, two and a half...don't make me say three. (Gary leans over the puddle) Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! (SpongeBob falls in the mud puddle). I'm a dirty boy.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Yeah, yeah, Gary. I'm getting behind my ears. (Gary grins).