My Face is on Fire


 * Emperor Palpatine: Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth Vader.


 * Darth Vader: Thank you, my master.


 * Emperor Palpatine: Hey, before you go...my face is really warm. Is everything okay up here?


 * Darth Vader: I...don't know. What do you mean?


 * [Palpatine removes his hood and smoke billows up. He touches his face but pulls away]


 * Emperor Palpatine: Ow. Ahh. Ow, my face! It's on fire!


 * Darth Vader: Well, there...is a possibility that you were fighting Mace Windu, he deflected some of your Force lightning back into your face.


 * Emperor Palpatine: Are you kidding me? How much?


 * Darth Vader: A lot. I don't think there was one bolt of Force lightning that didn't bounce off Master Windu's lightsaber directly back into your face.


 * Emperor Palpatine: And you just sat there and watched?


 * Darth Vader: Turning to the Dark Side was a pretty big decision.


 * Emperor Palpatine: [looking into a mirror] Oh, my God! I look like I have a scrotum for a face! What am I supposed to call myself? Darth Syphilis?! If you'd made up your mind five seconds earlier, we could've ruled the galaxy and maybe I could've gotten laid one more time before I die!


 * Darth Vader: [backing away] I can see you're upset. I'm just gonna go slaughter those younglings.


 * Emperor Palpatine: Yeah, whatever.