Collect 'em All

Brain: 1455. IN A SMALL TOWN IN GERMANY, AN INVENTOR NAMED GUTENBERG USHERS IN A NEW ERA.

HA HA! AT LAST! I HAVE PRINTED A BIBLE WITH MOVABLE TYPE.

Brain: WITH THAT, GUTENBERG HAS FULFILLED A LIFELONG AMBITION.

NOW THAT I FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO SELL, I CAN BE A DOOR-TO-DOOR SALESMAN.

Brain: AND, UNBEKNOWNST TO HIM, HE HAS ALSO PAVED THE WAY FOR A MOUSE OF SUPERIOR INTELLIGENCE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

NARF! WHAT DID YOU SAY, BRAIN?

I'M DELIVERING THE EXPOSITION, PINKY. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

POIT! UM, WHAT'S THAT BIG CONTRAPTION IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, BRAIN?

IT'S GUTENBERG'S GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT, PINKY.

AH! YOU MEAN POLICE ACADEMY 4?

NO, PINKY, BUT YOUR RETENTION OF LOW BROW TRIVIA IS IMPRESSIVE. THAT IS A PRINTING PRESS. IT IS THE REASON WE CAME HERE, PINKY.

POIT! I THOUGHT WE CAME FOR THE BRACING ALPINE SCENERY AND THE FRIENDLY SAUSAGES.

THAT IS ONLY A SIDE BENEFIT, MY FRIEND. OUR LITTLE SOJOURN HAS THE MORE SERIOUS PURPOSE OF EXPLOITING A REVOLUTIONARY NEW INVENTION WHICH WILL FOMENT REVOLUTION AND TOPPLE THE AGE-OLD SYSTEM OF MONARCHY.

THE CUCKOO CLOCK, BRAIN? OOF!

THE PRINTING PRESS, PINKY. TRY TO PAY ATTENTION. DO YOU REALIZE THE ENORMOUS POTENTIAL OF PRINTED MATTER TO EXCITE THE MASSES?

YOU MEAN NEWSPAPERS, RELIGIOUS TRACTS, THE VICTORIA'S SECRET CATALOG?

HMM. NO. TRADING CARDS. I WILL PRINT CARDS WITH MY IMAGE, PINKY. SOON, CHILDREN ALL OVER EUROPE WILL BE COLLECTING THEM. I'LL BECOME SO FAMOUS THAT I'LL BE ELECTED RULER BY ACCLAMATION.

[CUCKOO]

THAT IS BRILLIANT, BRAIN.

COME, PINKY. AN ARDUOUS TASK AWAITS US.

OH. RIGHT, BRAIN. OOF! OHH! WAAAH! NARF!

NOW, PINKY. PERFECT. THESE IMAGES WILL INSPIRE PEOPLE TO COME TOGETHER AND ELECT ME THEIR LEADER.

NAAARF. WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT SCARY HOOD, BRAIN?

THESE ARE ALLEGORICAL IMAGES, PINKY, DESIGNED TO STIR THE SUPERSTITIOUS MEDIEVAL MIND. FOR EXAMPLE, HERE I AM ON THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE.

OH, AND LOOK! HA HA HA HA! YOU BOUGHT A VOWEL.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO HURT YOU, PINKY. THESE LETTERS ARE PART OF THE HIDDEN MESSAGE: "AND THUS THE BRAIN SHALL LEAD US." THE MESSAGE IS REVEALED ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE COLLECTED THE WHOLE SET.

EGAD! BRILLIANT, BRAIN. BUT, OH, NO. NO, WAIT. UM, IF YOU PUT THEM TOGETHER WRONG, YOU GET "SHUT THE BRAIN'S NULL SALAD HEAD." HA HA HA HA!

YOUR TALENT FOR ANAGRAMS BORDERS ON THE SAVANT.

I KNOW.

BUT THE CARDS ARE NUMBERED, PINKY. BESIDES, EVEN A CHILD WOULD RECOGNIZE THE SIMPLE PROGRESSION OF THESE IMAGES. SEE? THIS IS ME COURTING INDUSTRY AND SPURNING SLOTH. THIS IS ME ASTRIDE THE BEAST OF IGNORANCE.

AND THIS IS ME PRETENDING TO GO REALLY FAST. WHOO-OOH! NARF!

CEASE, DEMON. THIS IS ME QUESTIONING VANITY. THIS IS ME ADMIRING THE BEAUTY OF TEMPERANCE.

WAAAH! OOF!

THIS IS ME IN GREAT PAIN. [CUCKOO] [CUCKOO] [CUCKOO] [CUCKOO CUCKOO CUCKOO]

EXTRY! EXTRY! GET YOUR TRADING CARDS. TRADING CARDS, MA'AM? UH, IT'S NO USE, BRAIN. NOBODY'S STOPPING.

WE MUST NOT GIVE UP, PINKY. YOU! PUDGY MEDIEVAL BOY. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE THE FIRST ON YOUR BLOCK TO OWN A SET OF THESE HANDSOMELY PRINTED TRADING CARDS WITH MY PICTURE ON THEM?

WHY? WHO ARE YOU?

I AM A MOUSE USING THE POWER OF THIS NEWLY INVENTED MEDIUM TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. I AM GOING TO BE YOUR LEADER.

THAT SOUNDS REALLY DORKY.

BUT, DON'T YOU WANT SOMEONE TO SHOW YOU THE WAY? DON'T YOU WANT TO SURRENDER ALL INITIATIVE AND BLINDLY TRAIL AFTER A SUPERIOR BEING? DON'T YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME?

NO. [FLUTE PLAYS] I WANT TO FOLLOW HIM.

NARF! THE PIED PIPER! OH! OH! OH! CAN WE FOLLOW HIM, TOO, BRAIN? HUH? CAN WE? CAN W--

DON'T DISTRACT ME, PINKY. APPARENTLY, I'VE BEEN OVERLY OPTIMISTIC ABOUT MEDIEVAL APPETITE FOR COLLECTIBLES.

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING, BRAIN.

A FEAT THAT WILL SURELY PLUNGE US BACKWARD.

WHAT IF YOU PACKAGED THE CARDS WITH SOMETHING EVERYONE LIKES? SOMETHING, UM I DON'T KNOW, SOMETHING PINK AND CHEWY?

THAT'S BRILLIANT, PINKY. ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING?

WELL, I THINK SO, BRAIN, BUT WHAT IF WE STICK TO THE SEAT COVERS? NO, PINKY. SOMETHING PINK AND CHEWY. WE WILL PACKAGE THE CARDS WITH SAUSAGES!

AH! FRIENDLY SAUSAGES.

AND I KNOW JUST THE PLACE TO GET SOME.

HURRY! HURRY! GET YOUR TRADING CARDS! NARF! NOW WITH FREE SAUSAGE!

AH! AH! AH! JA! FREE SAUSAGE! JA!

EGAD, BRAIN! IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING.

YES, PINKY! NOW IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.

WHO HAS "VANITY?"

I WILL TRADE YOU FOR "DILIGENCE."

FOR "THE DEFEAT OF LETHARGY."

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

WOW! WHEN YOU PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER, THERE'S A MESSAGE.

ACH! ACH DU LIEBER!

YOU KNOW, BRAIN, IT MIGHT BE A NICE TOUCH TO INCLUDE A LITTLE MUSTARD PACKET WITH EACH SAUSAGE.

GUSTATORILY ADMIRABLE, PINKY, BUT, FROM A SALES STANDPOINT, UNNECESSARY.

Shouting mob: BRAIN! BRAIN! WE WANT ZE BRAIN! BRAIN! BRAIN! WE WANT ZE BRAIN! BRAIN! BRAIN! WE WANT ZE BRAIN!

YOU HEAR THAT? THEY ARE CLAMORING FOR ME.

EGAD! CLAMOR.

YES, PINKY. IT MEANS MY PLAN HAS WORKED. COME. I MUST MEET MY ADORING PUBLIC.

[CLAMORING]

GOOD, SIMPLE PEOPLE, YOU HONOR ME BY COMING HERE TONIGHT.

IS THAT HIM?

HE LOOKS LIKE A RAT.

IT CAN'T BE. WE PAID THE GUY TO GET RID OF ALL THE RATS.

WELL, WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY PAY HIM.

I WILL BE PROUD TO ACCEPT WHEN YOU ELECT ME YOUR LEADER BY ACCLAMATION.

WE DIDN'T COME TO ELECT YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN CORRUPTING OUR CHILDREN.

WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE SAUSAGE?

LOOK AT THIS TRASH YOU'VE EXPOSED OUR CHILDREN TO.

ACH! YOU HAVE PRINTED THE CARDS ON THE BACK OF SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

YOUR INTELLECTUAL TOMES?

YOUR NEWSPAPERS?

NO. THE GIRLIE CALENDARS I PRINTED FOR THE LOCAL BLACKSMITH SHOPS.

PLEASE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. THIS WAS ALL A MISTAKE.

JA, YOU BET IT WAS, AND YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR IT.

JA! JA! YOU'LL PAY!

I ASSURE YOU MY INTENTIONS WERE HONORABLE. I WASN'T TRYING TO LEAD YOUR CHILDREN ASTRAY.

NARF! LOOK BEHIND YOU. HE IS.

Man: YOU THINK WE JUST FELL OFF THE STRUDEL TRUCK?

HA HA! YOU SEE? HE IS TRYING THE OLD "NARF, LOOK BEHIND YOU, HE IS" TRICK.

EGAD! BUT--BUT

DON'T WORRY, PINKY. THEY'LL DISCOVER THEIR FOLLY SOON ENOUGH. BESIDES, WE MUST LOOSEN THESE ROPES SO THAT WE CAN RETURN TO THE CUCKOO CLOCK AND PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT, BRAIN?

THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY, COVER OURSELVES WITH RECUPERATIVE SALVE AND, THEN, TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN