Terror Tales of the Park IV: Part 1

(We begin on a shot of the moon in the sky. The camera pans down to the house where two kids dressed in costumes walk up to the front door. One kid rings the doorbell, and Muscle Man, in a green beast mask, opens the door and tries to scare them. The two kids hold out their bags.)

Muscle Man: You gotta scream first, bro.

Kid 1: But we're not scared.

Muscle Man: (removes the beast mask) Do you want the candy or not?

(The two kids scream, drop their bags, and run away.)

Muscle Man: That's... that's what I thought. (He closes the door and joins his friends in the living room.) Alright, we're closing up shop. No more trick-or-treaters.

Benson: So, what do you guys wanna do? The night is still young. I got a cat sitter, so I can be out for at least another hour.

Muscle Man: I've got an idea, bro. (He turns off the light) Scary stories!

Mordecai: (turning the light back on) Dude, we do that every year.

Rigby: Yeah, let's do something really scary.

Skips: Well, we can rent a few genre films.

Pops: Or we could go to bed early, and be alone with our thoughts.

Rigby: Nah, let's go to a haunted house. Those are the scariest.

Muscle Man: You know who else is the scariest? (He turns off the light) MY MOM!

Mordecai: (turning the light back on) Augh! Not this again.

Muscle Man: No, dudes, she's seriously scary like a haunted house.

Rigby: Yeah, yeah, just like how she eats raw acorns?

Muscle Man: Uh-huh.

Skips: Or that she swam across the ocean with one arm tied behind her back?

Muscle Man: Yep.

Mordecai: Or that she's a registered notary public?

Muscle Man: Yeah, it's all true, bro. Everyone knows all the best comedy is based on truth.

Rigby: Prooooove iiiiiiit!

Muscle Man: What?

Mordecai and Rigby: Proooooove iiiiiiit!

Muscle Man: Woah, let's just slow down and...

Benson: Come to think of it, I've never seen your mom.

Hi-Five Ghost: Yeah, me neither.

Muscle Man: Well, she doesn't really like visitors, so...

Mordecai: What? Even Fives hasn't met her?

Rigby: Now we have to do it!

Muscle Man: What are you angling at, bro?

Mordecai: If your mom is so amazing, let's meet her.

(Everyone starts begging)

Muscle Man: Listen, I think I'm getting tired. (starts sweating) I'm just gonna go home.

Mordecai and Rigby: Booooooooooooooo!

(Everyone starts begging again)

Muscle Man: Augh! Fine! I'll take you to meet my mom on one condition. (He turns off the light) You gotta tell scary stories the whole way there.

Guys: Augh!

(Circle-wipe transfers to the middle of the road, Muscle Man is driving with the guys in his car)

Muscle Man: Alright, chumps, who's first?

Pops: Oh, I have a story.

The Hole (as told by Pops)
(The house is filled with Halloween decorations, Mordecai is in his Earth costume, and Rigby is in his Uranus costume. Mordecai is getting some fruit punch)

Rigby: Augh! This party! I hate dressing like this.

Mordecai: That's only because you chose Uranus. Ha ha. ha.

Rigby: It was the only one that fit!

(Muscle Man is in his Mars costume, and Pops is in his sun costume)

Muscle Man: So I said, "That's not your back scratcher, that's my toothbrush!"

(He and Pops laugh)

Pops: It's true, you did say that to me.

Muscle Man: Yeah, we both remember.

(A bell sound is heard, and Skips, in his Jupiter costume, stops licking his lollipop)

Skips: It's time.

(Cut to the living room where Benson, in his Saturn costume, is ringing a bell and standing in front of a pumpkin bucket.)

Benson: So, like you all know, as per tradition, we pull our names out of this pumpkin bucket, and whoever's last, it's their turn.

Pops: Please, we don't have to do this. Remember what happened to Hi-Five Ghost?

Benson: It's all right, Pops. Maybe it's really fun in there. Let us begin.

(Skips starts tapping a bongo drum.)

Benson: And the first name is... (He pulls a slip of paper from the bucket and unfolds it) ...Skips.

(Skips nods his head.)

Benson: Mordecai.

Mordecai: Whew!

Benson: Muscle Man.

Muscle Man: Ha-ha, yeah! (He pulls his hand into his Mars costume, tears off his underwear, and swings it around.) Whoo-hoo!

(Pops and Rigby look at each other nervously.)

Benson: (pulls another slip of paper) Be-- Oh, that's me. Ha! Boy, what a relief. Well, two more left.

Rigby: (covering his ears and groaning in worry)

Pops: (whimpering)

Rigby: (squealing) Pops is right! We don't need to do this!

Benson: (reading from another slip of paper) Rigby.

Rigby: Whew! Sucks to be you, Pops.

Pops: No, please listen. We can just leave the park.

Muscle Man: We don't know what's out there, bro.

Skips: Sorry, Pops.

Benson: This is the only way to ensure our safety!

Pops: No!

(Benson tries to restrain Pops, but Pops dodges, and Benson falls over toward the others. They look toward the open door and Pops' discarded sun costume.)

Benson: Where'd he go?!

(Cut to Pops running through the forest. The others run after him while making primitive whooping noises. Mordecai catches up with Pops first.)

Mordecai: There he is!

(As he runs, Pops steps on a twig and is caught in a net trap.)

Mordecai: Get him down from there, Uranus.

Rigby: (muttering in mockery)

(The park workers lead Pops to a toothed hole in the ground surrounded by skeletons. Pops falls over near the hole.)

Mordecai: There it is.

(Pops looks down into the hole as it makes gurgling sounds. The hole spits out Hi Five Ghost's skeleton)

Pops: (screams)

Benson: We do this every year, Pops, and every year we stay alive. Therefore, this must be why we're alive.

Pops: Please, just let me say my piece.

Benson: Fine. You've got one minute. But then we're throwing you in that hole. (He sets a stopwatch for one minute)

Pops: Look at what we've become -- tearing at each other like animals. And not the gentle kind. But ever since that fog appeared, we've been feeding each other to this hole. Look me in the eye and remember the times before the raffle. (His eyes start to water) The times before the hole.

(The park workers briefly look at each other.)

Benson: Pops, I think I speak for us all when I say... (He shoves Pops) ...get in the hole!

(Pops screams as he falls into the hole, but his head is too large to fit, so he's just a head sticking out of the ground.)

Benson: Huh. Well, I guess I could...

(Benson stomps on Pops' head to push him down, but he doesn't budge. Because of Pops' giant head plugging its mouth, the hole chokes to death.)

(Title card: 6 MONTHS LATER)

(The park workers all have brunch around the ground-stuck Pops.)

Muscle Man: So I said, "That's not your back scratcher..."

Everyone: "...That's my toothbrush!" (laughing)

(Rigby feeds tea to Pops.)

Pops: Say, where did you get this wonderful tea?

Mordecai: Oh, well... This is actually kind of embarrassing but, uh... We were able to leave the park and nothing bad happened. (sips tea)

Benson: Turns out the fog was all in our minds. It was really more of a psychological, existential kind of fog.

Skips: I guess you could say the fog represented our fear of the outside world.

Pops: Well, how about that?

Everyone: (laughing)

(Ripple transition back to Muscle Man's car. End of "The Hole")

Pops: I call it "The Wonderful Adventure of the Mysterious Hole in the Park".

Muscle Man: No offense, Pops, but I said scary stories, not reimaginings of classic literature. Maybe I should turn around and go home.

Mordecai: Aw, come on, Muscle Man! You said if we told scary stories, we'd get to meet your mom!

Muscle Man: You know who else can't handle the truth about their lame story?

(Everyone starts begging again)

Benson: Fine. I've got a scary story. This story is about two of my favorite people...

Unfinished Business (as told by Benson)
(The scene opens on Mordecai and Rigby's funeral. Benson is giving the eulogy while Skips, Hi Five Ghost, Muscle Man, and Thomas listen.)

Benson: Mordecai and Rigby are dead. Their lives ended tragically while doing what should have been a simple job — haunting the house for Halloween. I did everything I could to motivate them: pep talks, instructional speeches, occasional yelling. I even tried taking away their precious video games. But it was never enough. They were never able to finish haunting the house.

Skips: (gasps)

Muscle Man: Oh, no, bro. Can I see you after this sparsely attended service?

(Circle-wipe to a small clearing, where Benson meets with Muscle Man and Skips.)

Benson: What's this all about? I've got a four o'clock at four o'clock.

Muscle Man: You have to fire Mordecai and Rigby.

Benson: Muscle Man, I don't know how to say this, but you were just at their memorial. I had you personally dig their graves.

Muscle Man: Ugh. Look at the house!

(The house is seen looking scary, with wind blowing and window shutters opening and closing.)

Benson: That's just the wind.

Skips: Mordecai and Rigby have unfinished business. If you don't fire them, they will haunt the house forever.

Muscle Man: Ghost rules, bro.

Benson: Fine. (looks at the house determined) I'll fire Mordecai and Rigby...

(Thunder strikes as Benson enters the house.)

Benson: (talking to himself) Come on, Benson. This is what you were born to do.

(Down the hallway, the ghosts of Mordecai and Rigby stand still with their backs turned. An eerie green glow surrounds their bodies.)

Benson: They are so fired. (He walks up to them) Mordecai and Rigby, you're—

(Scary faces pop out of the backs of Mordecai and Rigby's heads. Benson falls over scared, and Mordecai and Rigby float away into the kitchen laughing. Benson stands up, dusts himself off, and follows them. He hears their laughing coming from the ceiling fan.)

Benson: Mordecai and Rigby, I can hear you up there! You two are officially—

(Rigby falls from the ceiling and breaks the kitchen table. A giant mouth in Rigby's stomach roars at Benson.)

Benson: (screams and runs away) So scary!

(A scene transition shows a calendar moving from October to November. Benson sits in the house hallway with stubble on his chin.)

Benson: Gotta fire 'em... Just gotta fire 'em...

(The ghosts of Mordecai and Rigby pass by Benson and enter his office, phasing into his desk. Benson follows. He opens a desk drawer and sees tiny versions of Mordecai and Rigby.)

Benson: Enough messing around!

(Tiny Mordecai and Rigby start floating around Benson.)

Ghost Mordecai and Rigby:: Hmm. Hmm-hmm-hmm. Hmm-hmm.

(Benson tries to catch them, but he fails. When he land on top of his desk, he tries to swat them like flies. They phase under his skin and crawl up his arm, eventually phasing out of his body through his eyes. Benson falls over. Another calendar scene transition goes from November to December. Benson runs up the stairs as Mordecai, with two rows of teeth, roars and chases after him like a dog. Calendar transition goes from December to January. A tired Benson walks through the hall.)

Benson: Gotta fire 'em...

(Mordecai's ghost taps on Benson's shoulder. Benson turns around, and Mordecai scares him when Rigby appears in his mouth. Behind Benson, Rigby's ghost, wearing pants, scares him by pulling his pants down and mooning him. Rigby's butt looks like his and Mordecai's shrieking faces. Benson falls over and whimpers in fear while Mordecai and Rigby float away into a hall closet. Benson runs after them and opens the closet, but it's empty.)

Benson: Argh!

(When he turns around, Mordecai and Rigby have fused into a big, blob-like monster that roars at him.)

Benson: (screams and falls over backward) So... So scary...

(Benson looks down the hall and spots Mordecai and Rigby's video game console.)

Benson: Their video games!

(Benson hooks up the console in the living room, turns it on, and hides. Mordecai and Rigby's laughing ghosts enter and pick up the game controllers.)

Benson: Hook, line, and sinker...! (runs in front of the TV) You're fired!

(Mordecai and Rigby start shrieking at Benson.)

Benson: No, why?! Why aren't they gone?! Wait.

(Flashback to Mr. Maellard and a young Benson in Benson's office.)

Mr. Maellard: I don't know much about these newfangled computers, but I do know one thing — a worker is not technically fired until you delete them from the employee database.

(The flashback ends.)

Benson: The employee database!

(Benson runs up the stairs while Mordecai and Rigby continue scaring him.)

Benson: Ohhhh... No! How long are these stairs...?

(Benson reaches his office and sees everything in it swirling around in the air. His computer monitor shows the employee database. Benson jumps up and "swims" through the air toward the computer. Mordecai and Rigby appear to scare him again with multiple eyes, rows of teeth, and long wrapped tongues.)

Benson: So scary!

(Benson pushes them out of the way and reaches the keyboard. Mordecai and Rigby appear again as several pop-ups on the screen.)

Benson: Aah! So scary!

(Benson finally deletes Mordecai and Rigby from the employee database, and everything in the office falls to the floor.)

Benson: (He stands up) I did it!

(A green glow starts covering Benson's body.)

Benson: What's... What's going on?! Aah!

(Mordecai and Rigby, no longer ghosts, walk up to him.)

Mordecai: You're dead, dude.

Benson: What?!

Rigby: Yeah, man. You don't remember?

(In another flashback, Benson hangs Halloween decorations on a ladder at the top of the stairs. Mordecai, holding up the beast mask, and Rigby walk up.)

Mordecai: Benson, look at this mask!

Benson: Aah!

(Benson falls down the stairs and dies. His ghost leaves his body.)

Rigby (voiceover): You've been haunting the house for months.

(Benson's ghost scares Rigby while he's eating cereal. When Rigby screams, Benson flees as if he's also scared. The same happens with Mordecai while he's carrying a box up the stairs. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby in the hallway, with Rigby trying to open a bottle of soda.)

Rigby: No, dude. It's "lefty locky, righty relaxy".

Mordecai: That doesn't even rhyme!

(Benson's ghost appears again. It sees Mordecai and Rigby and moans in fright as he leaves. The flashback ends.)

Benson: Then what are you guys doing here? You've ruined my office!

Mordecai: We're not in your office. This is our office.

Rigby: We got promoted!

Mordecai: And this isn't our office. (screen zooms out from Mordecai's face) It's a cemetery.

(Lightning strikes as Mordecai points down.)

Mordecai: And that's your grave!

(Cut to Benson's tombstone, which reads "R.I.P. BENSON. 'YOU'RE FIRED'". Benson falls to his knees next to his tombstone.)

Benson: NOOOOOOOO!

(Ripple transition back to Muscle Man's car, where Benson looks pleased with himself. End of "Unfinished Business")

Rigby: Is that it?

Benson: Yes, that's it. I was dead the whole time. Scary, right?

Mordecai: Dude, that twist's been done, like, a million times.

Benson: What are you talking about? It's way creepier that way!

(Everyone is unimpressed)

Muscle Man: I saw that ending coming the whole time!

Benson: Muscle Man, how long 'til we get there?

Muscle Man: It's gonna be about...

(The car screeches to a halt.)

Muscle Man: ...now.

(The car is stopped in front of Mountain Valley Estates, a trailer park. An oil drum fire burns just next to the gate.)

Muscle Man: All right, ladies. (He unlocks the gate) I hope you brought your adult diapers, 'cause you're gonna need them after either "A" -- this really difficult hike -- or "B" -- once you meet my mom.

(Muscle Man laughs evilly as the camera pans up to a lone trailer on top of a hill and thunder crashes. End of "Terror Tales of the Park IV, Part 1")