The Giant Bacteria (SWAT Kats : The Radical Squadron)

Act One
Razor: Looks like this crazy megalo think he can shreddin' these Enforcer choppers like an old scratchin' post in any refinery in Megakat City.

T-Bone: Well, That guy have his eyes of in the back of his head.

Razor: No excuses, 'Cause we're SWAT Kats, and we're volunteers, Uh, how about you?

T-Bone: Does that crazy megalo think he can blow up every refinery in Megakat City?

Razor: He’s doin’ a good job so far. Any ideas how do we catch ?

T-Bone:

Razor:

T-Bone: He’s shreddin’ those Enforcer choppers like an old scratchin’ post! Guess it’s up to the SWAT Kats to kick some tail! Can ya get a lock on him?

Razor: Okay, Workin’ on it. Locked and loaded, T-Bone! One Octopus Missile, on its way!

T-Bone: Locked and loaded! One Octopus Missile! Bull's eye! Sucker doesn’t even see it comin’! He suckered  us ! How’d you miss him, sure-shot?

Razor: How'd do I miss him?! Ha! That guy must have eyes in the back of his head. Crud! Whoa, he  does  have eyes in the back of his head!

T-Bone: No excuses.

Razor: (mocks) "No excuses.", Huh? (hits T-Bone with a cloth)

T-Bone: Oof!

Razor: Okay, big fella, get goin'!

T-Bone: Aye aye, Captain!

Morbulus: You’ll have to do better than that, SWAT Kats, to catch Morbulus! Or… die trying! ( laughs )

Razor: Looks like who wants to play canyon tag before he's goin' after the Megakat Refinery?

T-Bone: So, four-eyes wants to play canyon tag, huh? Crud! He’s goin’ after the Megakat Refinery!

Razor: Head for that cloud bank, I’ve got an idea!

T-Bone: A cloud bank? I hope it’s better than your aim.

Morbulus: Scratch one more refinery!

Razor: Let’s see if four-eyes has eyes  under  his head! Bingo!

Morbulus: ( screams )

T-Bone: What’ll it be, Razor? Dunk or deliver?

Razor / T-Bone: Dunk!

Morbulus: ( screams )

Razor: Belly flop?

T-Bone:  Mega -belly flop! Guess Feral and the Enforcers can handle it from here.

Feral: Keep away, Deputy Mayor! He could still be dangerous!

Callie: Yes, he could be. If he was here. Looks like you’ve come up empty, Commander Feral. And the SWAT Kats practically gave him to you!

Feral: If they’d held Morbulus until we arrived, he’d be in custody right now!

Reporters: ( indistinct chatter )

Ann: Mayor Manx, is this the end of what has been dubbed “The Refinery Reign of Terror?”

Manx: Absolutely! The authorities have apprehended the villain!

Reporters: ( more indistinct chatter )

Callie: Mayor Manx, I’m afraid that’s not the case…

Manx: Uh, but Callie, you told me on the phone–-

Feral: You were obviously misinformed.

Reporter #1: Well, which is it, Commander? Do you have this wacko or don’t you?

Feral: Despite our valiant efforts, the villain known as Morbulus managed to escape. Although, we believe he may have drowned in the bay.

Morbulus: ( laughs ) No way  I’m  gonna rot in some Megakat City prison!

Dr. Viper:  I’ll  put you to much better ussse than that…

Razor: Fun's over.

T-Bone: Chalk up another one for the SWAT Kats!

( He and T-Bone both take their helmets and then their masks off, becoming Jake and Chance again. )

Jake: Nice flyin’.

Chance: Nice shootin’. Fun’s over.

Jake: Back to the greasepit.

Chance: Back to the greasepit? Are you kiddin'?

Jake: Looks like we sure did a pretty awesome job today, Chance.

Chance: Let’s see if we made the 5:00 news.

Jake: Hey, there’s Feral.

Chance: Guy looks like he hasn’t hit the litterbox in a week! Turn it up, I wanna here him take credit for what we did.

Reporter #2: ( on TV ) So you don’t have Morbulus in custody?

Feral: ( on TV ) Due to the interference of the SWAT Kats,  this  is all we have of Morbulus at the moment!

Jake / Chance: What?!

Feral: ( on TV ) No one asked for their help and they allowed a dangerous criminal to escape!

Jake: Sounds like he's trying to say "Escape", Chance. Looks like we will be a practically giving him a free gift package.

Chance: Escape?! We practically handed Feral a gift package! ( growls )

Feral: (on TV) And if I ever find out who they are, I’ll–- ( Chance smashes the TV before he can finish his threat )

Jake: Aw, great. Morbulus is gone, so’s our TV!

Chance: Yep, I don't need a stinkin' Feral all the time!

Callie: I need your help, guys. This crate pinged all the way from Megakat Bay.

Jake: Hey, Callie! What are you doing' way out there?

Callie: Oh, just kiddin'. What's your name?

Jake: My name is Jake Clawson, Also known as Razor. and this is my trustworthy assistant, Chance.

Callie: Well, you must be Mr. Jake "Razor" Clawson, It will be a good one.

Jake:

Callie:

Jake:

Callie:

Jake:

Callie:

Jake:

Callie:

Jake: Go ahead, Chancey-Boy, Your turn, say something to her.

Chance: Give a best shot. What were you doin’ way out there, Callie?

Callie: Didn’t you guys hear? The SWAT Kats shot down Morbulus! They were magnificent!

Chance: ( feigning ignorance ) Really?

Callie: They tore him right out of his plane!

Chance: ( pretending to be amazed ) No!

Callie: Yes! But somehow Commander Feral managed to lose him…

Jake: Yeah, so we heard. When we had a TV.

Chance: And I don't care about that rotten Feral!

Callie: When do you think I can pick up the car?

Chance: Jake’ll start on it right away. You can wait for it, how ’bout some milk?

Callie: I really can’t. I’ve got to get back into town and help “his Honor” write his speech for tomorrow’s park dedication.

Jake: Well, If you don't mind, Callie.

Callie: Thanks, Jake. (kissing Jake's cheek)

Jake: Anytime, Aren't you gonna be happy to drive or something?

Chance: Why? I’ll be happy to drive you.

Callie: No need. Mayor Manx is waiting for me outside. One of the, um, “perks” of being Deputy Mayor. Thanks, Chance.

Chance: Ha! Did you hear that? She’s crazy about me!

Callie: ( seductively ) Bye, Jake!

Jake: Bye, Callie! (blow kiss at her)

Chance: Oh boy! It sure does Jake's loving Callie, I like it a lot!

Morbulus: So, this is the secret lab of the legendary Dr. Viper.

Dr. Viper: Quite an “eyeful,” isssn’t it, Morbulusss?

Morbulus: Very impressive. Looks like you’ve got everything a mad scientist needs right here.

Dr. Viper: Everything except the rare biochemical compound known as Katalyssst 99.

Morbulus: Well, maybe I could help ya get it, Doc.

Dr. Viper: Ah, we see “eye to eye,” Morbulusss. I  do  have need of someone to get me into Megakat Biochemical Labsss.

Morbulus: Megakat Labs? Are you outta your mind?! That building’s impenetrable!

Dr. Viper: Up until now!

Morbulus: What? ( screams ) What have you done to me?!

Dr. Viper: I’m letting you “help” me! ( chuckles ) As a living tessst tube for my new bacteria ssstrain!

Morbulus: ( voice horribly distorted ) Noooo!

Dr. Viper: Yesss! I have big plansss for you! With your help, I’ll have Katalyst 99 and the power to dessstroy Megakat City!

Act Two
Jake: I’m not sure using these turbo plugs on Callie’s engine is such a good idea, Chance.

Chance: Turbo plugs? I  say she’s gotta have extra horsepower in case of an emergency.

Jake: Extra case of an emergency? No way! I  say you’re gonna blow the engine.

Chance: Jake, I’m a pilot. I know what an engine can handle. See? Purrs like a kitten. Growls like a tiger!

Jake: Blows like a volcano! Now  what’ll we tell Callie?

Chance: I’ll think of somethin’.

Murray: Problems, guys? Maybe we can add to ‘em! ( laughs )

Burke: Hit it, Murray!

Murray: This makes my day, Burke!

Burke: They come a long way from bein’ pilots.

Murray: A looooong way… down! ( laughs ) Sign here. Here’s your copy! We’ll tell Commander Feral you sent your love! ( laughs ) Adios, amigos!

Jake: (imitating Murray) "This makes my day!" And you can't tell us what to do, We are volunteers, Nobody mess with us! (chuckles) I guess those dipsticks knew we built the Turbokat outta things like this.

Chance: ( imitating Murray ) “This makes my day!”. ( chuckles ) If those dipsticks knew we built the Turbokat outta stuff like this.

Jake: They’d cough up a hairball! ( laughs ) Modification! Can ya drop this baby under Callie's hood with a little modification, of course?

Chance: Hey, check it out. We can drop this baby under Callie’s hood. With a little modification, of course. (laughs)

Jake: And I think I found our new TV!

Chance: Not to mention that Feral is going to be extremely upset when we wrecked the city! (laughs)

Farmer: What’s goin’ on out here? Get away!

Dr. Viper: I’ll teach you to tamper with my experiment!

Farmer: ( yelps )

Dr. Viper: And now that you’ve had your breakfassst, it’s time to begin our commute into Megakat City, by ssssewer. ( chuckles ) Follow me!

Manx: ( finishing his speech ) As Mayor of Megakat City, I am proud to dedicate this beautiful new park, which bears my name.

Jake: Ahh, that Callie sure is pretty.

Chance: I like that.

Jake: How about you?

Chance: Ahh, that Callie sure is pretty.

Jake: Yeah, but she’ll be pretty  mad  if we don’t get her car running.

Chance: Yep, Mad I tell you, I didn't see that one coming.

Ann: ( on TV ) From the new Manx Municipal Park, this is Ann Gora for Kat’s Eye News. ( back at the park ) What in the-–? Quick, get a shot of  that !

Manx: ( terrified ) It’s every kat for himself!

Camerman: ( gasps )

Callie: Better let me drive, Mayor!

Manx: ( apoplectic with terror ) Just get me out of here!

Callie: ( screams )

Jake / Chance: Hey, that’s Callie!

Jake: Looks like she's in danger! Code Red!

Callie: Out of my way, slimeball!

Jake: Well, Chance, you know what to do.

Jake / Chance: Let’s hit it!

( They suit up as the SWAT Kats and fly off to the rescue. )

Callie: Come on, Mayor! Hurry!

Manx: ( terrified gibberish )

Feral: Relax, Mayor. The Enforcers are here now.

Callie: ( excited ) So are the SWAT Kats!

Razor: Looks like Callie’s safe.

T-Bone: Not the way Feral flies!

Feral: ( via radio ) Back off, you vigilantes! The authorities are handling this! Fire on my order!

Razor: I don’t think that’s a good idea, Feral. We saw what happened when Callie hit it.

Callie: He’s right!

Feral:  I’m  in command here!

T-Bone: I think he’s blown us off.

Feral: Fire!

Razor: Now he’s done it!

Dr. Viper: ( cackles ) Those fools have given me  three  ways into Megakat Labsss! ( hisses )

Feral: Normal weapons won’t stop those monsters!

Manx:  You’ve > made that abundantly clear, Feral!

Callie: They seem to be heading for the Megakat Biochemical Labs. We’d better get there first!

Razor: Looks like she called us "Razorman and T-Boy". We love it a lot!

T-Bone: Any idea what to throw at these guys?

Razor: How ’bout Feral? Thanks to him we’ve got three to fight!

T-Bone: Then how come I only see  two !?

Razor:> Hey, where’d the other one go?

T-Bone: Use the X-Ray Beam!

Razor: ( in horror ) Oh no, one’s going in the subway!

T-Bone: Gotta move fast!

Motorman: ( gasps )

Passengers: Whoooaaaa! ( scream )

Razor: ( horrified ) Oh no, too late!

T-Bone (horrified) Yeah, too late!

Act Three
Razor: So, it doesn’t like heat, huh? Maybe it’ll follow me onto this electrified rail and give itself a mega hotfoot! Bingo!

Razor: T-Bone, what is cookin' down there?

T-Bone: I have no idea.

Razor: Uh, how about you?

T-Bone: Razor, what is cookin’ down there?

Razor: French-fried bacteria! Rendezvous in t-minus five, Katalina entrance. Three, two, one!

T-Bone: Gotcha! The other two giant zits are closin’ in on Megakat Labs!

Razor: I can handle ‘em.

T-Bone: He went to the subway, He said that electrified rail and give itself an extremely hotfoot in a Rendezvous in t-minus five!

Dr. Zyme: They appear to be giant bacteria. On such short notice, this is the best I could do. It contains the most powerful antibiotics known. Hopefully, it should stop them.

Callie: It better work. Those things are heading right for us!

Dr. Zyme: Don’t worry, Ms. Briggs! These windows are practically indestructible.

Dr. Viper: While the bacteria wreak havoc, I will raid the labsss!

Manx: I’m coming too! I don’t want to be around here if this stuff doesn’t work!

Feral: You’re a coward, Manx.

Manx: You don’t get to be Mayor for ten terms, without being cautious!

Razor: Go ahead, T-Boy!

T-Bone: Say ‘Ahhhh’!

Razor: One Megavolt Missile, away!

T-Bone: I thought you said this would work!

Razor: Give it time. Five, four, three, two, one…

T-Bone: Chaaaarrrge!

Manx: The SWAT Kats took care of that one, Feral!

Feral: And I’ll take care of the other! Got him!

Dr. Zyme: It worked!

Dr. Viper: You were always an arrogant fool, Dr. Zyme! My bacteria is immune to antibioticsss!

Dr. Zyme: ( screams )

Razor: Crud! Looks like the bacteria is getting a mega revenge on us!

T-Bone: No can do, Razorman, Time for another Megavolt Missile, buddy!

Razor: Whoops! Guess I’m one short!

T-Bone: Speak for yourself!

Callie: You won’t get away with this, Dr. Viper!

Dr. Viper: No, Ms. Briggsss. It’sss  you  who won’t get away!

Callie: ( screams )

Razor / T-Bone: Callie!

Razor: Lead him onto the bridge, then double back! Now!

T-Bone: Game’s over, Dr. Viper!

Dr. Viper: Ssstill one more play!

Feral: Ms. Briggs, are you all right?

Callie: Yes, thanks to the SWAT Kats. Whoever they are.

Feral: Thanks to them, half of Megakat City is without power!

Razor: Looks like this is going to get a looooong day, Awesome work, T-Boy!

T-Bone: Hey, you know a better way to cook a giant bacteria? Looks like Burke and Murray have got a looooong day ahead of ‘em.