Granny's Goodtime All-Cure Spritzer

Transcript for Granny's Goodtime All-Cure Spritzer
(SCENE 1 - EXT. CITY - DAY) (WordGirl and Huggy are flying high above the city. Huggy is sleeping.)

Narrator: WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face are flying... around... in the sky.

WordGirl: Uh, yeah. I think they can see that.

Narrator: Sorry. There just doesn’t seem to be a lot going on. I didn’t know what else to say.

WordGirl: Well, I guess things have been slow today. (seeing something) Wait a minute! What’s that?!

(We SEE down below, a crowd is forming in the park around Granny May who’s tying up a man with some blue yarn.)

WordGirl: It’s the notorious Granny May! And she’s got someone tied up!

Narrator: Now that’s more like it! (launching into narrator mode) A crowd forms in City Park as Granny May ties up an innocent civilian.

WordGirl: Let’s check it out, Huggy!

(WordGirl and Huggy head down.)

(DOWN IN THE PARK, WordGirl and Huggy fly up just as Granny points a perfume atomizer at the tied up man’s body.)

WordGirl: Stop right there, Granny May!

(Granny turns slowly, acting the part of a very old, very feeble woman.)

Granny May: But I wasn’t doing anything wrong. This man volunteered.

Man In Yarn: It’s true, I did.

WordGirl: (surprised) Oh. Okay. Really?

(The man nods yes.)

Granny May: Granny May's Goodtime All-Cure Spritzer is so  potent , just one spray can make this man strong enough to escape this cocoon of yarn!

(She spritzes him with the atomizer. The crowd looks on with anticipation, while WordGirl and Huggy watch suspiciously. Just then, the man breaks free of his blue yarn cocoon.)

Man In Yarn: I did it! The spritzer really does work! I’ve never been able to break out of a yarn cocoon before!

(Murmurs of amazement from the audience.  WordGirl stares with her mouth gaping open.)

Granny May: That's right! With just one spray of Granny May's Goodtime All-Cure Spritzer, anyone can feel ten years younger and have the strength to do anything!

(WordGirl flies by her and grabs the bottle from her hand.)

WordGirl: “Granny May’s Good Time All Cure Spritzer”? Are you kidding?

Granny May: Nope, check the label.

WordGirl: Well, I still think your spritzer is a  hoax .

Granny May: You think I spit burps on a boat? That doesn’t even make sense. I think you’ve been flying too close to the sun.

WordGirl: No! A  hoax ! Your spritzer is a  hoax ! A fraud! A scam! A fake!

Granny May: Why, I’d do no such thing. My spritzer really works. (to crowd) Now, who wants some?

(The crowd goes wild, holding out money. Huggy disappears and comes back with a perfume atomizer and goes to squirt himself.)

WordGirl: I don’t understand. We always have trouble getting out of Granny’s yarn. How could one spray from that bottle be  potent  enough to make someone stronger than me? (WordGirl grabs the bottle from him.)

WordGirl: I know Granny’s up to something. I just have to figure out what. C’mon, Huggy.

(WordGirl takes off with the spritzer bottle, forgetting that Huggy can’t fly and leaving him behind. Huggy slumps and sighs, but WordGirl drops the spritzer bottle and Huggy catches it. He gives himself a spray, tosses the bottle aside, stands up tall and jumps as if trying to fly. A man holding a spritzer bottle walks up to him.)

Man #1: “Feel ten years younger and have the strength to do anything..." (looks at Huggy, and speaks directly to him) ...except fly. (The man sprays himself.)

(Huggy sighs and walks toward the bus stop.)

(SCENE 2 - INT. BOTSFORD RESIDENCE - LATER)

Narrator: Later at the Botsford residence...

(Bob arrives home by bus. WordGirl arrives at the front door and changes back into Becky. She opens the door and goes inside.)

Becky: Hi Mom and---

(Becky enters and sees her dad spritzing himself. He is dressed in a track uniform and running shoes.)

Becky: Dad, what are you doing?

Mr. Botsford: Oh, hello, Becky. I’m just spraying myself with some of “Granny May’s Goodtime All Cure Spritzer.” Sure is a long name, but it works wonders.

Becky: How do you know?

Mr. Botsford: I just went for a three mile run. I’ve never done that before.

Becky: That’s because you’ve never owned running shoes before.

Mr. Botsford: True. But it was the spritzer that made me feel good enough to buy these running shoes. (showing them off) Aren’t they great, huh? They’re even good for walking. And standing.

Becky: I’m glad you feel good, dad, but are you sure it’s from the spritzer?

Mr. Botsford: Of course, what else could it be?

Becky: I dunno. I’m just saying Granny May has a history of robbing people, maybe everyone should be a little more cautious of what she’s selling.

Mrs. Botsford: Normally I’d agree with you, Honey. But it’s no  hoax , that spritzer is really  potent !

TJ: I don’t know what  potent  means, but it sure is powerful.

Becky:  Potent  means the same thing as powerful.

TJ: (ignoring Becky) Why, with one spray of Granny’s Spritzer, I’ll be strong enough to replace WordGirl’s sidekick.

(Bob squeaks.)

Becky: I doubt the spritzer is that  potent .

(TJ spritzes himself, then begins doing push-ups.)

TJ: Oh, come on. Even if it only makes me a little stronger, I’ll still be better than that little monkey she works with.

Becky: Hmm, maybe it does work.

(Bob sees this, drops to the ground and begins doing push-ups, trying to compete. Mr. Botsford is seen reading an article in the Daily Rag.)

Mr. Botsford: (excited) Granny May’s at the supermarket and she’s having a sale on her spritzer. If you buy a hundred bottles of it they give you one bottle for free! That's an incredible deal! C’mon, Becky. We’ll get you some, too!

(Mr. Botsford grabs Becky and they head out the door.)

Becky: C’mon, Bob!

(Bob is already out of gas from doing push-ups, and and has collapsed on the floor.)

(SCENE 3 - INT. SUPERMARKET - THE NEXT DAY) (At the end of an aisle, a group of customers is gathered around Granny May who’s selling more of her spritzer. Mr. Botsford, Becky and Bob walk up.)

Mr. Botsford: Look, it’s really her. The lady on my spritzer bottle.

Granny May: So, who would like to volunteer to help me with my demonstration?

Mr. Botsford: I will! (Mr. Botsford hurries over.)

Granny May: Well, aren’t you a handsome young man.

Mr. Botsford: All thanks to your spritzer!

Granny May: What do you say we show everyone how well it works?

(Granny shoots Mr. Botsford with blue yarn, wrapping him up like a cocoon.)

Becky: Dad, you sure you want to do this?

Granny May: Oh, is this your daughter?

Mr. Botsford: Yes, say hi, Becky.

Becky: Hi.

Granny May: (re: Bob) And what a cute little koala.

(Bob reacts and lets out a squeak.)

Granny May: And with just one spray of-- (Granny sprays Mr. Botsford with the spritzer.)

Mr. Botsford: (gives a big reaction) I can feeling it working. It’s so  potent . I’m feeling stronger!

(Mr. Botsford breaks out of the blue yarn cocoon.)

Mr. Botsford: Ya-ha! Look out! (to Becky) I told you it wasn't a  hoax .

(Mr. Botsford begins flexing for the crowd. They applaud and begin holding out money.)

Customer #1: I’ll buy one.

Customer #2: How much for a case?

Granny May: (to Mr. Botsford) You know, I could use a suck-- I mean, a helper like you. Would you like to be my assistant?

Mr. Botsford: I have dreamt about this opportunity since the first time I sprayed myself in the face. Thank you!

(Off to the side, Becky and Bob look on.)

Becky: Now Dad can break out of Granny’s yarn? We’ve got to find out what’s in that spritzer. Word up!

(SCENE 4 - EXT./INT. Granny May’S HIDEOUT - LITTLE LATER)

(Granny finishes pouring some jugs of orange juice into a vat. She then pulls out a couple of cans of spray cheese and begins squirting them into the vat. She’s humming to herself.)

Granny May: There! Almost done with my latest batch of spritzer...

(WG and Huggy enters the scene.)

WordGirl: Orange juice and spray cheese? Ha! I knew it was a  hoax !

Granny May: Oh, hello, WordGirl. (Granny May quickly draws her knitting needles and shoots at WordGirl with purple yarn, knitting her into a cocoon. Huggy jumps clear. WordGirl can’t break free.)

WordGirl: (struggling) Too strong!

WordGirl: But my da-- I mean, Mr. Botsford was able to break free so easily.

Granny May: Well, it's all part of the  hoax , WordGirl. And it worked perfectly. But no one will ever know now that I’ve got you all tied up!

(Granny laughs. Huggy jumps down from the rafters.)

WordGirl: Get her Huggy!

Granny May: Oh, hello fuzzy britches? Here...have a petrified purse mint!

(Granny quickly opens her purse and releases a mint cyclone at Huggy.)

WordGirl: Huggy, look out!

(The cyclone surrounds Huggy and pelts him with mintiness.)

Granny May: Well, I’d love to stay, but I can’t. I'll be late for my next spritzer sale. The P.M. Dinnertime Evening News Show will have cameras there.

WordGirl: They’re going to film your spritzer sale?

Granny May: That’s right, WordGirl. And once it’s on television, the entire city will want my spritzer. I’ll make millions! And there’s nothing you or your fuzzy little chum can do about it. Later!

WordGirl: Grrr...! Huggy, we’ve got to stop her!

(Huggy stumbles into a barrel of spritzer, spilling it onto the mint cyclone. The mints flutter to the ground and twitch spasmodically.)

WordGirl: I guess Granny’s spritzer is good for something! Wait a second-- Huggy, wrap your hands in that blue yarn.

(Huggy puts his hand into a ball of blue yarn. He squeaks, “Now what?”)

WordGirl: Now try to break free.

(Huggy takes a breath and prepares to struggle, but as soon as he tries to break the yarn it snaps easily. Huggy is amazed and holds his hand up victoriously.)

WordGirl: Great! Now wrap your hands in the purple yarn.

(Huggy quickly sticks his hand into a ball of purple yarn. He tries to break free of the purple yarn, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t break it. He squeaks, “What gives?”)

WordGirl: That’s how Dad broke free. Granny’s got two different types of yarn! The purple one that’s amazingly strong and the blue one that’s fragile and weak! Now, find something to get me out of this yarn.

(Huggy sees a spinning wheel and pushes it over to her, then attaches a strand of the yarn to the wheel. Once he gives it a spin, the yarn untangles easily.)

WordGirl: Nice work, Huggy! (preparing to take off) Word U--

(Huggy squeaks, and WordGirl sees that Huggy has been trapped by purple yarn that has become tangled around the spinning wheel. WordGirl stops.)

WordGirl: Oh, right. Sorry!

(SCENE 5 - EXT. PARK - LITTLE LATER)

Narrator: Meanwhile, at the park, Granny May has set up a stage for her big spritzer sales pitch.

(ON THE STAGE, Granny is getting the crowd going.)

Granny May: Yes, with just one spray of “Granny May’s Goodtime All-Cure Spritzer”, any person can feel ten years younger and have the strength to do anything! But don’t take my word for it, listen to Mr. Flopgord.

(Mr. Botsford comes out.)

Mr. Botsford: Actually it’s Botsford.

Granny May: Oh. Right. (then, into mic) Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Bopcorn!

(Mr. Botsford takes the microphone.)

Mr. Botsford: Granny May’s right. Her spritzer is so  potent  it turned me into a regular old He-man! Why it’s made me so strong, I’m going to start my own rock moving business!

Granny May: Okay dear, that’s enough....

(She goes to grab the mic from Mr. Botsford. Meanwhile, we see a roll of blue yarn sitting on a table. WordGirl's hand comes into frame and quickly removes the blue yarn and replaces it with purple yarn.)

Granny May: That’s right, folks, “Granny May’s Goodtime All Cure Spritzer” is so  potent  that after just one spray, this nice little man will be able to break free of an unbreakable yarn cocoon! (calling out) Bring me my yarn!

(Mr. Botsford walks over and picks up the PURPLE ball of yarn, and hands it to Granny May. She does not notice that the yarn is PURPLE, and shoots it at Mr. Botsford. As soon as he’s wrapped up and the swirl of yarn is over, she realizes it’s the wrong yarn!)

Granny May: Purple?!? (She stands there, not sure what to do. WordGirl flies in.)

WordGirl: Is there a problem Granny?

Granny May: (not sure what to do) WordGirl! Wha--problem? No, no...it’s all... it's just...well, that’s not the yarn I was going to use for this demonstration.

WordGirl: Well, that shouldn’t matter, right? With a little of your spritzer Mr. Botsford should have the strength to break through anything.

Granny May: (looking at crowd) Oh right...of course, of course... (gritting teeth at WG) Anything.

WordGirl: Well go ahead Granny...spritz him.

Granny May: Heh...uhh...Okay...here goes...

(Not sure what else to do, Granny spritzes Mr. Botsford.)

Mr. Botsford: (puffing himself up) Ah. Now watch as I break-- (he can’t break free) It’s as easy as-- (he starts to sweat) Usually all you need is just one spray-- (tries one last time, then) Hey, it’s not working.

(Murmurs of confusion from the crowd. WordGirl pulls a ball of blue yarn from behind her.)

WordGirl: (holding the BLUE ball in her hand) It never worked. It’s all a big  hoax ! (She snaps the ball of yarn easily.)

(The crowd GASPS! Huggy is holding the PURPLE yarn, and tries to break it, but only hurts his hand.)

WordGirl: See, the BLUE yarn is fragile... But the PURPLE is virtually unbreakable.

Customer #1: Hey! It’s a  hoax !

Customer #2: I want my money back!

Customer #3: Me too!

(The crowd starts to move towards Granny.)

Granny May: No problem...I will give all of you your money back...when pigs fly! Ha-ha-ha! Suckers!

(Granny goes to touch her pearls to activate her armor, but before she can reach it, a lasso of purple yarn wraps around her hand. Huggy is standing holding the other end. He smiles.)

Granny May: Hey!

WordGirl: Nice work, Huggy!

Granny May: Yeah. Too bad I have another hand.

(Granny touches her pearls and her armor is activated. She takes off, dragging Huggy with her into the air.)

WordGirl: Huggy!

(WordGirl takes off in pursuit. Just as she’s about to catch up, Granny’s rocket starts to stall out.)

Granny May: What the? (looks at fuel gauge on arm) Out of gas?

(The rocket goes dead and she and Huggy start to fall, but are quickly saved by WordGirl.)

(BACK ON THE STAGE WordGirl lands with Granny and Huggy. WordGirl wraps her up in purple yarn. She sits in a yarn cocoon next to Mr. Botsford.)

Granny May: (to Mr. Botsford) I thought I told you to fill up my suit!

Mr. Botsford: Uh, no, you didn’t. You just told me to break out of the yarn.

Granny May: Oh, hmm. (then) Well, a good assistant would have known to do it. You’re fired.

Mr. Botsford: You can’t fire me, because I quit! (pause) Right about now is when I’d storm off really dramatically! But I can't. Because I am tied up in your yarn.

Narrator: Tune in next time for another  potent  episode of... WordGirl!