Lost and Founded

(Setting: Agrabah, in the Marketplace. The streets are packed with people. Banners are hanging everywhere which show the picture of a man who looks similar to the sultan, except younger and with a brown beard.)

(Iago is at one of the stalls and is selling hats, bottles, and other merchandise with pictures of the same man from the banners.)

Iago: Founder's Day souveniers! Get 'em while we got 'em!

(A man and a woman rush past Iago's stall in opposite directions and bump into each other.)

Man: Happy Founder's Day!

Woman: Happy Founder's Day to you!

Iago: Get your limited edition Founder's Day fez right here! And spillproof commuter mugs, goin' fast!

(Iago looks behind the stall, where Genie and Abu are painting several more of the mugs.)

Iago: Forget worksmanship, we need value! Founder's Day comes but once a year. We've gotta milk it for all it's worth!

Aladdin: (approaching the stall) Oh really? Making money off Founder's Day? That's low, Iago.

Iago: What? I'll have you know there's a fine tradition of exploiting holidays for commercial gain!

Jasmine: We're going to hear Father give his speech. Close up shop.

(Aladdin and Jasmine leave. Genie folds up the stall.)

Genie: Shop closed!

Iago: Such business savvy! Why don't we just give this junk away?

Genie: You want to?

Iago: I was being sarcastic! Are you that desensitized to me?!

(Aladdin and Jasmine join the crowd surrounding the balcony where Sultan is giving his speech.)

Sultan: Agrabah was founded not only on sand, but on the vision of one man, my distant ancestor Hamed. (gestures to a banner hanging from the balcony) His dream made all you see possible.

(Setting: at the same time, in the fortune teller's shop. Abis Mal and two of his goons are there.)

Abis Mal: Are you sure this thing is the genuine article?

Fortune teller: (taking an hourglass out of a cupboard) Yes. The Sands of Time are held within. Very powerful, very dangerous.

Abis Mal: Ooh...

Fortune teller: Of course, such a mystic rarity is not for sale.

Abis Mal: (drawing his sword) Everything's negotiable, right?

(Back outside in the Marketplace.)

Sultan: ...and it all began with a—

Fortune teller: Thief!

(Aladdin turns around and sees Abis Mal and his men running out of the fortune teller's shop.)

Aladdin: Abis Mal!

(Aladdin and Jasmine take a short cut and block Abis Mal's path.)

Aladdin: What's your hurry, Abis?

Genie: (behind Abis Mal) You're trapped, Mal. Trapped like a big evil trapped guy! In a trap!

Abis Mal: Not today!

(Abis opens the hourglass holding the Sands of Time, and a green light shoots out of it, creating a green hourglass-shaped portal.)

Abis Mal: Maybe some other time! (runs into the portal, followed by his men)

(Genie creates a force field around Aladdin and his friends. Suddenly, everything around them changes. The buildings are suddenly dilapidated. The banners with Hamed's face are changed to Abis Mal's, and the design of the palace changes.)

Jasmine: (looking at a banner) Abis Mal! What?

Aladdin: He's changed the whole city!

(The portal starts to close.)

Aladdin: We've got to go after him!

(Aladdin and Jasmine run into the portal.)

Iago: I'm not going! There's no telling what's in there!

Genie: Yes there is! (grabs Iago and jumps into the portal)

(Aladdin and his friends come through the other side of the portal and land in the middle of the desert.)

Aladdin: Where are we?

(Genie has fallen upside down into the sand and only his legs are sticking out. He magically turns the legs into his torso.)

Genie: Hmm, I'll go out on a limb here and say... the desert? (pulls himself out of the sand and sees that he now has two torsos) Aah! I'm a freak of nature!

Iago: Every day, nothing but weirdness!

(Abu points towards an approaching caravan. The caravan leader looks exactly like the pictures of Hamed from the Founder's Day decorations.)

Hamed: Whoa! (the caravan stops)

Jasmine: Impossible! He looks like my ancestor Hamed!

Genie: (holding up a mug for comparison) That's him! Founder of Agrabah, merchandising goldmine.

Hamed: I say, are you all right?

Aladdin: Uh, excuse me... Hamed?

Hamed: Yes. How do you know me?

Aladdin: You're famous!

Hamed: Famous? But I'm just a nomad!

Genie: (whispering) He's not famous yet, Al!

Aladdin: Well, we've, uh, heard of your tribe on our own travels.

Hamed: Oh, yes, well, I suppose our quest has become legendary. We have searched many years for someplace that we might call home. Sometimes I fear our quest will never end.

Genie: If you settled here you'd be home right now!

Aladdin: Genie's right! Your nomad days are over!

Jasmine: The city you build here will be glorious!

Hamed: City, here? (laughs) I think not. Look at this place. Nothing but a barren wasteland.

Jasmine: Wasteland?

Genie: Al, if he doesn't settle here...

Jasmine: ...there will never be an Agrabah!

Aladdin: You've got to stay here!

Hamed: I'm sorry, we must move on.

(A man who looks similar to Abis Mal jumps out of a cart and runs to the front of the caravan.)

Man: Hey, hey! Who's holding up the quest?

Aladdin: Abis Mal! (tackles the man) You warped his mind, you twisted fiend!

Hamed: What? Stop! Unhand Abnor!

Aladdin: Abnor?

Abnor: Abnor Mal.

Genie: Ooh, I get it!

Iago: Ancestor number two.

Aladdin: I'm really sorry. I, uh, thought you were someone else.

Hamed: Abnor Mal is our goat herder.

Abnor: (proudly) Actually, I've moved up. I'm the tentmaker now.

Hamed: Aladdin thinks we should settle in this place.

Abnor: (laughs) Who's got the warped mind again?

Jasmine: This is a lovely spot! It just needs a little... love.

Abnor: It's a stinking desert! I'd rather be a nomad living in, I'll say it, a fabulous tent!

Aladdin: But this place is perfect! Look at the... uh, um... there's the... uh... it's got... sand?

Hamed: Plenty, indeed. But what about water?

Genie: Water? You want water? (plunks down a fountain and water comes out of it, which he catches in a mug and hands to Hamed) Spillproof mug. Go ahead, get sloppy. (turns into a real estate agent) But hey, what about housing? No more musty old tents!

Abnor: What? No tents?!

Genie: Millenium Eleven real estate is pleased to announce Agrabah, the perfectly planned community. Homes for any budget, convenient marketplace shopping, commuter's paradise, and pets allowed! (shows Hamed photos of a house, the Marketplace, some people riding a camel, and then shows him Iago and Abu)

Abu: Hey! (chatters angrilly)

Iago: Your worship, take a gander at these blueprints that I took the liberty of whipping up. (shows Hamed a drawing of the palace; points to the largest tower) This is the majestic parrot's quarters. And, uh, oh, you live here. (points to the smallest tower)

Hamed: Oh, well, this is all very impressive!

Abnor: If this desert is your idea of paradise then maybe we need a new leader!

Hamed: Hmm, he may be right. I'm afraid this is another dead end. (shouting) Pass the word! We break camp and continue on in the morning!

Abnor: (walking away from the caravan) Whew, that was close. No tents! Is that kid trying to ruin my business?

(Abnor is pulled behind some rocks where Abis Mal and his men are hiding.)

Abis Mal: (looking at Abnor) Wow, this is weird!

Abnor: Don't hurt me! I'm the tentmaker! I'm important!

Abis Mal: (laughs) Important? I'll give you important that'll make your head spin!

Abnor: Oh! You mean, you mean you can make me elephant driver? (mimes driving an elephant)Oh, like, "Onward, Jumbo!" like this? And with the good hat?

Abis Mal: Listen, Abnor. We're a lot alike, you and I. A lot a lot alike. You've gotta swipe the power from that Hamed dope and found Agrabah yourself!

Abnor: Oh, right. No one'll need tents, and then I'm back to herding goats.

Abis Mal: You don't get it. You will be sultan! Those other saps will be servants to you!

Abnor: Oh! Hey! I like it! Me in charge! Bigger hat! (laughs) But if I wanted to, could I still drive the elephant?

Abis Mal: Eh, what's a tyrant without a hobby?

Abnor: (laughs) I'm in! Boy, sure are a lot of crazy ideas floating around here today, between you and that jerk kid with the nice hair.

Abis Mal: Aladdin?! He followed me?!

Abnor: Yeah, that's him. You know him?

Abis Mal: (worried) We've met. (to himself) Come, come, this changes nothing, just proceed according to my plan.

Abnor: Which is?

Abis Mal: Very top secret. You'll, uh, know it when you see it.

(Setting: that night. Hamed, Aladdin, and Jasmine are sitting around a campfire.)

Hamed: Ah, it would be a place where families grow and prosper. Children could run about and play. And there'd be a market where honest merchants could ply their trade. (sighs) But maybe Abnor Mal is right. Chasing a dream to the middle of nowhere! It's just folly.

Jasmine: No, it's a wonderful dream. (hugs Hamed)

Aladdin: And you can make it real if you don't give up.

Hamed: Perhaps I should sleep on this.

(The three each go back to their tents. When Hamed enters his there's the sound of a struggle and the tent collapses.)

Abis Mal: Gah! Cheap tent!

Abnor: Hey!

Jasmine: (looking out of her tent) Hamed?

Abis Mal: Move it!

(Abis, Abnor, and Abis Mal's men run away, carrying Hamed inside the rolled-up tent.)

Aladdin: Abis Mal!

Genie: Red alert! Red alert!

(Aladdin and his friends chase after them.)

Abis Mal: Move it, snails! Faster!

Genie: (appearing in front of them in a toll booth) Kidnapping toll! That'll be one founder of a city, please! (stops them)

Aladdin: All right, Abis Mal! Now let Hamed go!

Abis Mal: Oh, you want the little butterball? (opens the Sands of Time, creating another portal) Well, then, go get him!

(Abis Mal's men throw Hamed through the portal.)

Aladdin: No!

Jasmine: What's happen— (disappears)

Aladdin: Jasmine!

Genie: Oh, Al!

Aladdin: What... what happened?

Abis Mal: (laughs) I've changed history! No Hamed means no descendants, which means no Princess Jasmine! (laughs) Too bad about your girlfriend being erased from the fabric of time there.

Aladdin: Jasmine! (jumps through the portal)

Genie: Al! (follows him, just before the portal closes)

Abis Mal: Ooh, not bad! Took care of the royal family, my mortal enemy, and that pesky genie! Now, should we get on with the exploitation of the masses?

Abnor: Let's.

(Iago and Abu try to sneak away, but one of Abis Mal's men grabs them.)

Abis Mal: Nuh uh uh! I need strong backs, no matter how puny.

(Setting: in the distant past. Hamed is sinking into a tar pit. There's the skeleton of a triceratops in the background.)

Hamed: Oh my!

(Aladdin falls out of the portal, but grabs a vine before he lands in the tar pit and swings to dry land.)

Genie: I'm with ya, Al!

Aladdin: Genie! The time portal's closing!

(Genie grabs the other side of the portal before it closes as well and struggles to hold it open.

Hamed: Pull me out!

Aladdin: Hang on, Hamed!

(Aladdin lassos Hamed with the vine and tries to pull him out of the tar.)

Hamed: It's not working! Pull harder!

(A sabretooth tiger sneaks up behind Aladdin.)

Aladdin: Uh, here, uh, hold this!

(Aladdin wraps the other end of the vine around the tiger, then runs away, but he comes to the edge of a cliff. Aladdin dodges, and the tiger runs off the edge of the cliff. This pulls Hamed, tied to the other end of the vine, out of the tar.)

Genie: Hurry, Al!

(Aladdin jumps on a tree branch, catapulting himself and Hamed into the air and through the portal. They land in the desert back in Hamed's time.)

Hamed: My word!

Aladdin: Whoa!

(Jasmine reappears.)

Aladdin: Jasmine, you're back! (kisses her)

Jasmine: Back? Was I gone?

Hamed: Gone? Yes, we should all be gone! This place is cursed!

Aladdin: But you can't leave! Abis Mal will get the city!

Hamed: What city? If he wants this desert so bad he can have it! I shall gather my people and leave at once.

Genie: Uh, that's easier said than done.

(Genie points back to the camp, where Abis and Abnor are forcing the other nomads to build a stone wall.)

Abis Mal: Move it! (cracks a whip) Yah, yah! Agrabah will be built in one day. Show the Romans how it's done.

(Iago and Abu are carrying a stone block.)

Iago: Ever hear of a coffee break?

(Abis whips them, and they keep working.)

Aladdin: Okay, create a diversion. Jasmine and I will free Abu and Iago.

(Genie appears next to Abis and Abnor dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase.)

Genie: I'm with the Federal Bureau of Bureucratic Burocracy. We understand you're putting up a city here. Well, you're going to have to fill out a form X slash 479 slash 8 slash slash. Of course, we'll need that in triplicate. (literally buries them with paperwork)

Aladdin: Good job, Genie!

Abis Mal: Aladdin! That's it, you're going to the end of time! (pulls out the Sands of Time)

Abnor: (taking the hourglass from Abis) Hey hey hey hey hey! It's my turn to hurl him to his doom!

Abis Mal: No, no! This is my evil magic!

(While the two fight over the hourglass, Aladdin snatches it away.)

Abnor: Hey!

Aladdin: Looking for this?

(The two men tackle Aladdin, knocking the hourglass out of his hands. It smashes on a rock, creating a giant time portal in the sky that starts sucking everything into it. Aladdin, Abis, and Abnor grab onto a stone block to keep from being pulled in.)

Abis: Time loves a hero! (pushes Aladdin off the block, and he is sucked toward the portal)

Genie: Al!

(Genie lassos Aladdin and stops him from going in, but Abis and Abnor lose their grip and are sucked in instead. Hamed is sucked towards the portal as well, but Aladdin catches him. However, Genie's rope can't hold both their weights, and it breaks, pulling Aladdin and Hamed into the portal as well.)

Jasmine: Aladdin!

(Inside the portal, the four men are looking around at their bizarre surroundings. They seem to be inbetween many differernt time periods. The sky above them is a swirl of blue and black.)

Abis Mal: (draws his sword) You've ruined everything!

(A portal opens behind Abis Mal, showing a futuristic city. Abis's clothes are then transformed into a space suit, and his sword into some kind of ray gun.)

Aladdin: Uh oh!

Abis Mal: That's right! Uh oh! (tries to hit Aladdin over the head with his ray gun, but he misses and accidentally shoots some kind of energy beam out of it) Even better!

(Another portal opens behind Hamed, showing a present day suburban landscape. Hamed is changed into a cook holding a spatula.)

Hamed: What strange weapons are these?

Abis Mal: I don't know, but I like 'em! (flies into the air with a jet pack he is wearing)

(Another portal opens behind Aladding, showing a 1950's diner. Aladdin is suddenly wearing '50's clothes and is holding a bass violin. Abis Mal tries to zap him, but shoots a hole in the bass instead.)

Abnor: Hit 'im again, Abis!

(A portal opens behind Abnor, showing ancient Japan. Abnor turns into a samurai holding a sword.)

Abnor: How about a little off the top, Hamed? Like your head?

Hamed: Beware, Abnor! I too hold a mighty weapon! (brandishes the spatula) I think.

(Aladdin grabs the spatula from Hamed, uses the strings of his bass as a bow, and shoots the spatula into the end of Abis Mal's ray gun, causing it to explode. Abis then falls on top of Abnor.)

(Outside the portal, Genie, dressed as a fisherman, is catching the nomads with a fishing rod when they are pulled toward the portal.)

Genie: Hey, sit down already! You're rocking the boat!

(Jasmine helps pull a woman to safety, while Iago and Abu try to save a little boy.)

Iago: This is not flying weather!

(Abis Mal's two goons are pulled into the portal. One of them is riding a camel and the other tries to hold onto a cart, but they are pulled in as well. The cart is turned into a tank.)

Abis Mal: Pulverize them!

(The tank shoots at Hamed and Aladdin, who jump out of the way. Another portal opens behind Aladdin, showing a medieval European castle, and Aladdin is transformed into a knight holding a spiked mace. The man on the camel is transformed into a caveman with a club riding a miniature triceratops.)

Hamed: Oh, dear!

(The caveman chases after Hamed, who ducks behind the tank. The triceratops and the tank crash into each other, and the front of the tank is pulled down. It tries to fire, but shoots the ground and the force knocks it up into the sky and over the horizon.)

(A portal opens near Hamed, showing Agrabah in Aladdin's time. He sees the palace, the Marketplace, children playing in the street, and the palace fountain.)

Hamed: Oh my! Agrabah!

Aladdin: Hamed! (runs up to him, but is having a hard time walking in the armor and falls over) Too heavy!

(Abnor tries to attack Aladdin with his sword, but another portal opens behind him, showing a present day city, and Abnor is turned into a construction worker holding a jackhammer. The jackhamer breaks Aladdin out of his heavy armor but doesn't hurt him.)

Abnor: Hey!

(Aladdin shoves his knight's helmed over Abnor's head backwards, so he can't see.)

Abnor: Get this off!

(Aladdin tries to pick his mace up off the ground, but Abis Mal blocks him. Abis has been turned into a Rambo-like soldier, holding what look like two AK-47s.)

Abis Mal: Tag, you're it. (aims the guns at Aladdin)

(Outside the portal)

Jasmine: We have to stop it! If all of this magic was held inside a little hourglass there must be another way to contain it!

Genie: Contain it? Is that all? I have the perfect thing!

(Inside the portal, Abis Mal tries to shoot Aladdin, but misses. Aladdin runs over to Hamed.)

Hamed: Aladdin! I understand! This is where we should settle!

Aladdin: I think it's a little too late for that.

(Aladdin and Hamed are surrounded by the four bad guys.)

(Outside, Genie is walking towards the portal.)

Genie: (impersonating William Shatner) There's only one mystical vessel which could possibly contain a rift in the time-space continuum! My mug! My spillproof mug!

(Inside the portal, Aladdin and Hamed are still surrounded.)

Hamed: This is it.

(Genie grows to a giant size, sucks the portal into his mouth and spits it into the mug. He then spits everyone that was inside the portal, except one of Abis Mal's men, back out into the desert. They're all changed back into their normal outfits.)

Genie: Uh oh, do I have bad guy breath?

(The other of Abis Mal's men is stuck between Genie's teeth. Genie takes a toothpick and pries him out.)

Hamed: Aladdin, you've done us an enormous service!

Aladdin: Oh, no. You're the one who's gonna do it all.

Genie: We've got to get back, we're late! Or are we early?

(Genie opens the mug and creates a portal back to their own time. The palace can been seen on the other side.)

Hamed: Goodness!

Genie: In you go! (tosses Abis Mal and his men through the portal)

(Aladdin and his friends walk through the portal.)

Jasmine: Good luck, Hamed!

(The portal closes.)

Hamed: (to the other nomads) Agrabah will be a city more wonderful, more magnificent, than any other on Earth! This shall be our home!

(The nomads all cheer.)

Abnor: Great! When do we start!

(The others glare at him.)

Abnor: Or, I could live in the desert as an outcast. Either's good. (runs away)

Hamed: My friends, we have much work ahead of us! (holds up Iago's drawing of the palace)

(Setting: Agrabah, back in Aladdin's time.)

Jasmine: Ah, just the way it should be.

Aladdin: Genie, where's Abis Mal?

Genie: Ah, don't worry about him.

Aladdin: But where is he?

Genie: He's just cooling his heels for awhile. A day or two, tops.

Aladdin: Genie, where is Abis Mal?!

Genie: Well, Al, it's not so much a matter of where as when.

(Abis Mal is back in the prehistoric landscape that he tried to send Hamed to earlier, and is being growled at by the sabretooth tiger.)

Abis Mal: You know, technically, I won't even be born for another million years, so I exist outside of your food chain! See? Uh, the teeth, they're pretty much for show, right?

(The tiger roars at Abis, who runs away.)

THE END