Max's Secret Girlfriend


 * Alex: [laughing with Harper] Tom Sawyer? That is such an obvious lie. It's the name from the Rush song.
 * Harper: [looks at Alex] And the classic book.
 * Alex: Wow, that song was good. I didn't know they made a book out of it.


 * Max: [comes home] I did it. I told Nancy the truth.
 * Jerry: We're proud of you Max.
 * Theresa: Isn't it easier telling the truth, honey?
 * Max: I'm so relieved that I told her I'm a wizard.

[The Russos and Harper are shocked.]
 * Justin and Jerry: [did a spit take]
 * The Russos: [look at Max] YOU WHAT?!?!
 * Theresa: Max! When I told you to tell the truth to Nancy I meant to her the truth about being a Russo, not being a wizard!
 * Max: You wanted me to tell her the truth but not the whole truth? This truth thing is confusing, mom. To tell you the truth.
 * Alex: Yeah, I mean you tell the truth you get in trouble. You lie you get in trouble. We're probably just better off not talking to each other.
 * Jerry: What did Nancy say when you told her?
 * Max: She didn't believe me.

[The Russos and Harper have a sigh of relief.]
 * Jerry: Max, you really need to work on how you give information when you tell a story. I mean, if I had a ketchup bottle when you said you told her, I would have squeezed it and ketchup would have been flying everywhere.

(Everyone laughs.)
 * Jerry: Harper please hand me the ketchup. [Harper gives Jerry the ketchup]
 * Max: But then I took her on a magic carpet ride and she totally believed me.
 * Jerry: Ahhh! (squeezes the ketchup bottle)''
 * Theresa: [opens her mouth]