Oscar

Creed Bratton: [from a threatening video] If you're watching this video, you've been a very naughty person. I have learned some of your deepest, darkest secrets. And with this knowledge, I have the ability to ruin your world. But it needn't come to that. It's possible I could forget a thing or two if you're willing to compensate me. I'm one hundred percent serious. Pay me now or I will share this with the world. [he watches himself from the laptop] Are my eyes blue? Oscar Martinez: Are you trying to blackmail me? Creed Bratton: Blackmail is an ugly word. I prefer extortion. Oscar Martinez: Why're you doing this? Creed Bratton: How much will you pay me to find out? Oscar Martinez: Creed, this is low. Creed Bratton: Easy on the sass. We're just two amigos having a conversation. Comprende? Oscar Martinez: Si lo comprendo. Creed Bratton: What? Let's switch back to English for a sec. Oscar Martinez: Okay, just spit it out. What do you have on me? Creed Bratton: Why don't I just show you? [he gives Oscar a DVD] Oscar Martinez: What is it? [he inserts the DVD onto his laptop] Creed Bratton: Well, I don't remember exactly but I'm sure you're not gonna like it. [Oscar plays the video] Creed Bratton: Oh, yeah. The sex tape. Okay, there's you. Your little friend. And this is where it gets good. Oscar Martinez: [talking head] He spliced in footage from the film Milk. Totally ruined Gus Van Sant's masterpiece for me. This is pathetic. You're pathetic. Creed Bratton: Well, that's just plain mean, man. [talking head] The world's a different place than the one my grandchildren grew up in. This is an age of information where truth is a commodity. I try to get money out of lies. Shame on me. From now on, I'm only extorting people I have real dirt on. Andy Bernard: [he reads Creed's blackmail article] Oh! Creed Bratton: Juicy, huh? I hope this doesn't affect our friendship.