The Bat Jar Conjecture


 * [After the Physics Bowl, Penny is making Leonard and Sheldon answer Trivial Pursuit questions]
 * Penny: Tweety Bird tawt he taw a what?
 * Sheldon: [thinks for a second] Romulan?
 * Penny: Yes.... he tawt he taw a Romulan.


 * Leslie: Hello, Sheldon.
 * Sheldon: [looking terrified] Leslie Winkle!
 * Leslie: Yeah, Leslie Winkle! The answer to the question, "Who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl?".
 * Sheldon: Yes, well, I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.
 * Leslie: [sarcastically] Ooooh... ouch.


 * Penny: Good afternoon, and welcome to today’s physics bowl practice round. I’m Penny, and I’ll be your host, because apparently I didn't have anything else to do on a Saturday afternoon, and isn't that just a little sad? Gentlemen, are you ready?


 * Howard: Okay, we’re going to need a strong fourth for our team.
 * Raj: You know who’s apparently very smart, is the girl who played TV’s "Blossom". She got a PhD in neuroscience or something.
 * Leonard: Raj, we’re not getting TV’s Blossom to join our physics bowl team.
 * Raj: How about the girl from "The Wonder Years"?
 * Howard: Gentlemen, I believe I've found the solution to all our problems.
 * Leonard: We can’t ask Leslie Winkle.
 * Raj: Why? Because you slept together and when she was done with you she discarded you like last night’s chutney?
 * Leonard: Yes.


 * Dimitri: The answer is minus eight pi alpha.
 * Sheldon: Hang on, hang on a second, that's not our answer. What are you doing?
 * Dimitri: Answering question. Winning physics bowl.
 * Sheldon: How do you know anything about physics?
 * Dimitri: Here, I am janitor. In former Soviet Union, I am physicist. Leningrad Politechnika. Go, polar bears.
 * Sheldon: Well, that's a delightful little story, but our arrangement was that you sit here and not say anything, I answer the questions.
 * Dimitri: You didn't answer question.
 * Sheldon: Hey, look, now maybe you have democracy now in your beloved Russia, but on this physics bowl team, I rule with an iron fist. (makes fist in the air) Ow!


 * Sheldon: Gentlemen.


 * Leonard: Sheldon.


 * Howard: Sheldon.


 * Raj: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee.


 * Penny: Sheldon.


 * Leonard: This is our year! With those guys out, the entire physics bowl will kneel before Zod.


 * Penny: Zod?


 * Howard: Kryptonian villain. Long story.


 * Raj: Good story. (clasps hands to mouth in shock)


 * Leonard: Do I need to quote Spock's dying words to you?
 * Sheldon: No, don't.
 * Leonard: The needs of the many...
 * Howard: Outweigh the needs of the few...
 * Sheldon: Or the one. Damn it, I'll do it. (does a Vulcan salute)


 * Leonard: This is our year! With those guys out, the entire physics bowl will kneel before Zod.
 * Penny: Zod?
 * Howard: Kryptonian villain. Long story.
 * Raj: Good story. (clasps his hands over his mouth in shock, from talking around Penny while sober)