I'm The Best

''[We start with four robbers in front of a bank, having just stolen large amounts of money. The bank's alarms are  sounding.]''

Lead Robber: Where's that new driver you hired?

[Toad and his kart (from Mario Kart 64) rush into the scene, and the robbers jump on board.]

Lead Robber: Who the hell are you?

Toad: I'm the best!

Lead Robber: Let's go!

Toad: There's four of you!

Lead Robber: Who cares?! Just drive!

Toad: The deal was transportation for three men, whose combined weight did not exceed 250 kilos.

Lead Robber: Well, this is a new deal! Now drive!

Toad: One of you has to go!

Lead Robber: Are you nuts?! They're almost here!

[Thinking quickly, he shoots and kills the robber behind him, taking his bag of money afterward.]

Toad: That's better! (laughs) Here we go!

[Toad and the remaining burglars start to zoom off with two police cars pursuing them.]

Robber: Come on, man, they're gaining on us!

Toad: I always come prepared!

[Toad presses the banana button on the control panel, sending banana peels onto the police car behind him.]

Policeman #1: What are you, kidding me? Banana peels?!

[The bananas cover the windshield, blocking the police officers' view.]

Policeman #2: Whoa! Actually, they are surprisingly effective!

[The police car slides out of control and crashes sideways, and then another police car shows up.]

Man: Look out!

[Toad presses the green shell button, making three green Koopa shells pop out and revolve around his kart.]

Policeman #3: Are those green turtles?

Policeman #4: (pulls out a shotgun) Whatever they are, they're getting shot!

Policeman #3: No, green turtles are endangered!

''[He tries to grab the gun, but gets shot. Toad fires the green shells at the police car, also making it slide out of control and crash off-screen. Immediately, another police car shows up, so Toad presses the golden mushroom button three times to speed up.]''

Toad: (after each press) Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!

[However, the kart is heading towards two more police cars that block its path.]

Lead Robber: You're not gonna try and smash through that, are you?

Toad: I've already told you, I'm the best! Yahoo!

[Toad presses the star button on the steering wheel to make him, the robbers, and the kart invincible and knock the police cars out of the way.]

Toad: Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-Yahoo!

''[While invincible, Toad presses the golden mushroom button nine times, blasting three more pairs of police cars in their path. As soon as the invincibility dies down, Toad and the robbers are seen driving in a mountain valley.]''

Toad: Don't worry; they won't follow us out here.

[But by the sound of police sirens, the police have indeed caught up with them.]

Lead Robber: (scared) I thought you said they wouldn't follow us!

Toad: (brave) Once we're across that bridge, we're home free!

Lead Robber: (still scared) He's gaining on us! Do something!

Toad: We're almost there.

Lead Robber: (looks behind him, more panicked) He's gonna catch us! Use one of the things!

[Freaking out, he presses the spiny blue shell button.]

Toad: (gasps in terror) No, not that one!

[The winged blue shell flies ahead of the kart towards a bridge.]

Toad: The blue turtle shell always seeks out...

[The blue shell suddenly stops in the middle of the bridge.]

Toad: (now depressed)...the lead car.

''[The blue shell flies towards the kart, hits it, and sends it (along with its occupants) over a cliff to their presumed doom, as Toad screams. Afterwards, the end credits start.]''