The Misinterpretation Agitation


 * Bernadette: So, what are you working on these days?
 * Amy: I’m studying one-celled organisms to try and find the neurochemicals that lead to the feeling of shame.
 * Bernadette: What would a one-celled organism have to be embarrassed about?
 * Penny: Same as all of us, getting out of a car without underwear.
 * Bernadette: Speaking of underwear, I have some interesting news.
 * Penny: Okay, if it’s sometimes Howie wears yours, Leonard already told us.
 * Bernadette: He was being funny. I’m pretty sure. Anyway, I was asked to be a part of a magazine article about the 50 sexiest female scientists in California. Isn’t that cool?
 * Amy: I think it’s awful.
 * Penny: Why would you say that?
 * Amy: Bernadette is a successful microbiologist. She should be celebrated for her achievements, not her looks. I mean, what kind of message does that send?
 * Penny: I think the message is check out the rack on that scientist.
 * Bernadette: Why can’t someone be thought of as both smart and pretty?
 * Amy: I just don’t think a professional woman should have to flaunt her sexuality in order to get ahead.
 * Penny: Okay, what’s the big deal? Look, if it helps me make a sale with a physician, I don’t think it hurts to flirt a little. I mean, laugh at their joke, touch their arm, maybe crank up the AC in the car beforehand, you know, to wake up the girls.
 * Amy: Maybe it’s different in the world of sales, but it’s already hard enough for women to be taken seriously in science.
 * Bernadette: I was kind of excited about the article, but now you’re making me feel bad.
 * Penny: No, I think you should do whatever you want. You know, maybe if fashion magazines not female scientists in them I would have become a theoretical physicist. [Amy and Bernie smile at each other] Stop smirking at each other.


 * Sheldon: Deliverymen are the unsung soldiers of American commerce. If It wasn't for people like you, people like me can limit their human contact.


 * Dr. Lorvis: So am I to presume that her flirtation was just a sales technique?
 * Leonard: I think so.
 * Dr. Lorvis: When will I learn? It’s just like the cute girl at eh pet store all over again.
 * Leonard: Excuse me?
 * Dr. Lorvis: Oh, uh. She touched my arm for five Mississippi’s and I bought a $2000 iguana habitat. Which she was always too busy to come over and see.


 * Amy: So, how was work today?
 * Bernadette: It was fine, but you’ll be happy to know they pulled the sexy scientists article.
 * Amy: What happened?
 * Bernadette: I don’t know. They just canceled the photo shoot and said they’re rethinking it.
 * Amy: Well, I’m really sorry, but I think it’s for the best. You want people focusing on your achievements, not staring at your breasts in some magazine.
 * Bernadette: I guess. It’s really not that important. Hey, up here.
 * Amy: Sorry, it’s just we’re, we were talking about them. So, look, I, I wasn’t going to say anything, but since you seem to be okay with the article being canceled, I have a little confession. I’m the reason it was pulled.
 * Bernadette: What? How?
 * Amy: I sent the editors of the magazine a pretty scathing e-mail.
 * Bernadette: Amy, what did you say?
 * Amy: I simply pointed out that they would never consider doing an article ranking male scientists on their sexuality, let alone showing them in various stages of undress.
 * Bernadette: (she is now very cross) No one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson in a wet t-shirt bent over the hood of a Porsche.
 * Amy: Well, it doesn’t make a difference, because they agreed it was in bad taste, and now you agree, so Amy saves the day.
 * Bernadette: (1st time: she's still very cross) No, what happened was you got jealous, so you took away a chance for me to get some publicity.
 * Amy: But it was bad publicity.
 * Bernadette: (2nd time: she's still very cross) That’s for me to decide, not you.
 * Amy: I disagree. As a female scientist, I think what you do affects all of us.
 * Bernadette: (3rd time: she's still very cross) And I think you don’t like people expressing their sexuality because no one wants you to express yours.
 * (Amy opens her mouth with a huge shock)
 * Bernadette: Oh, Amy, I’m so sorry. That was over the line.
 * (Amy is now up from the table
 * Amy: (yells at her angrily) You have a nice night.
 * Bernadette: Please don’t go. Up until my vicious attack, you were the one in the wrong.
 * (Amy now strides out of the bar in huff)


 * Dr. Lorvis: Welcome to my Fortress of Solitude. This is where I get away from…all my other solitudes.


 * Leonard: Wow. Donkey Kong. This was my game when I was a kid.
 * Sheldon: Because it’s the story of a pretty blonde girl tirelessly pursued by a small, oddly shaped man?
 * Leonard: No, because I liked it.
 * Sheldon: Well, now, don’t get defensive. You're oddly-shaped, but you got the girl.


 * Penny: Doc, you got see that what you’re doing is a little creepy.
 * Dr. Lorvis: You sound just like Sigourney Weaver when I followed her into a restroom.
 * Penny: You can just go chasing after every girl that’s nice to you.
 * Dr. Lorvis: That’s not what Sheldon says. And he seems to know his way around the ladies. [Amy smiles.]


 * Penny: OK Leonard. Let’s go.
 * Leonard: Just hang on.
 * Dr. Lorvis: Well, while we wait would you like to see Tobey Maguire’s prostrate sonogram.
 * Amy: Sure.
 * Dr. Lorvis: Oh, spoiler alert. He was worried about nothing.


 * Dr. Lorvis: So I noticed that Leonard gets teased a lot about his relationship with Penny.
 * Sheldon: Yes, if you would like to join in. the premise is that their love seems unlikely and doomed to failure.
 * Dr. Lorvis: So, you think she’ll be single soon?
 * Sheldon: So, if you want to get in on the pool you’re too late. All the squares have been purchased.
 * Dr. Lorvis: Interesting. Excuse me. I have to take care of something.


 * Sheldon: You can do this.
 * Raj: One ladder left.
 * Leonard: Oh-hom yeah.
 * Howard: Yes.
 * Leonard: Next level.
 * Penny: Leonard, are you okay?
 * Leonard: Better than okay. I am having the game of my life.
 * Amy: Dr. Lorvis, isn’t there something you want to say?
 * Dr. Lorvis: Yes. I’m very sorry for locking you in my home.
 * Howard: Yeah, that was very uncool. Get the hammer. Get the hammer.
 * Leonard: Got it.
 * Penny: Okay, Leonard, let’s go.
 * Leonard: Just hang on.
 * Dr. Lorvis: Well, while we wait, would you like to see Tobey Maguire’s prostate sonogram?
 * Amy: Sure.
 * Penny: Yeah.
 * Dr. Lorvis: Oh, spoiler alert. He was worried about nothing