SWAT Kats Unplugged

Single Act
FADE IN

Enforcer Dispatch: [voice over] Attention chopper units: confirmed two-eleven at Megakat Trade Towers.

Enforcer Pilot: Roger, we’re in persuit!

Chop Shop: That’s what they think! [laughs as he activates controls]

Razor: Well, T-Bone, Looks like there's a hyena was copying our trademark things.

T-Bone: Did you see that, Razor? Some two-bit crook’s copied our trademark turbo blades.

Razor: Then let’s give him a taste of the real thing! Crud! That chopper must have mega-alloy armor!

T-Bone: Mega-Alloy armor? Where?

Chop Shop: Nice try, SWAT Kats, but you’ll have to do better than that to stop Chop Shop! [laughs]

Razor: (gasps) T-Bone! Who is this hyena?!

T-Bone: Aw, nuts! That laughing hyena’s got triple turbo power.

Ann Gora: This is Ann Gora, Kat’s Eye News… high in the sky above Megakat City, where the SWAT Kats are persuing what seems to be their most elusive adversary.

Razor: Awesome job, T-Bone for stopping this hyena! Bingo!

T-Bone: He’s hooked! Hooked? I don't see any hooks.

Razor: Me neither.

T-Bone: Now to deliver this laughin’ low-life to the Enforcers.

Chop Shop: We’ll see who has the last laugh. [laughs]

Commander Feral: You’re under arrest, Chop Shop!

Ann Gora: Ann Gora here, mid-air with the SWAT Kats. How about a few words, guys? You SWAT Kats have certainly managed to catch your share of villains, with Chop Shop being just the latest. But tell us… why do you do it?

Razor: Me and T-Bone did an awesome job for stopping this terrible hyena, And a mission was clear.

T-Bone: We have a mission, Ann. Down these mean skies a Kat must fly. We want to be the good guys.

Razor: And despite what the Enforcers might think, we just want to make Megakat City a safer place.

T-Bone: Not to mention

Commander Feral: It would be a lot safer without those two reckless hotshots!

Razor: Thanks to my trustworthy sidekick T-Bone, the best pilot who's said these mean skies he flies, 'cause we're volunteers who turned mind sides in to the authorities.

T-Bone: And thanks to my buddy Razor’s high-tech gadgets, we’ve turned quite a few low-lifes in to the authorities.

Dr. Ohm: Even high-tech gadgets will be useless against Puma-Dyne’s anti-weapons scrambler. Luckily, it’ll be in the good hands of the Enforcers. I’ll tell Doctor Cougar that it’s ready.

Dr. Ohm: Eh? Ah, wha… what the? AUGH! It’s–

Hard Drive: Hard Drive! Well, what do we have here? [Hard Drive picks up the scrambler] Thanks, Doc. This should come in mighty handy!

DISSOLVE TO…

Jake: Lookin’ good, buddy. One more coat and we’re all done. Uh… Eh.

Chance: What’s the matter, pal? Can’t invent a gadget for opening a stuck paint can? Heh, heh. Here, let me help ya.

Jake: [sarcastically] Now why didn’t I think of that?

Chance: Oops… (Jake hits Chance with a lid) Oof.

Jake: (angry) Get to work!

Chance: Why me.

Ann Gora: [into microphone] Today marks the debut of Megakat City’s high-speed rail line designed to transport gold bullion quickly and safely from the Megakat Mint to the city vaults.

Hard Drive: Time to go for the gold! Ha, ha, ha!

Train Gunner: You sure picked the wrong train to rob!

Hard Drive: Let’s see who’s scrambling after I scramble their weapons.

Train Gunner: What the? Lasers not responding. Huh?

Hard Drive: This is too easy.

Commander Feral: Lasers are down! He’s stolen Puma-Dyne’s scrambler, and left us defenseless! Fall back! Doctor Ohm. How do we counteract that device of yours?

Dr. Ohm: I’m working on it, Commander.

Commander Feral: Aw, that’s just great. Meanwhile, Hard Drive’s stealing half the gold in Megakat City!

Razor: Not yet, he hasn’t. Buzz-saw missile… deploy!

Hard Drive: The SWAT Kats? Heh, ha! I’ve been expecting them.

Razor: T-Bone! That beam’s knocked out all of my gadgets!

T-Bone: All?!

Razor: Roger. We’re unplugged!

T-Bone: Well, our jets are still operational. Hang on.

T-Bone: Any bright ideas, buddy?

Razor: We can’t fight him, so we’re gonna have to outwit him. Head for the Megakat Tunnel. He’ll wedge his wings trying to follow us. Crud! He’s got retractable wings, too.

T-Bone: Other ideas?

Razor: Yeah. [he points ahead] Hit that water tower!

T-Bone: If you say so.

Razor: Yes! We flooded out his engines.

Hard Drive: [zapping his controls] Ah, ha, ha, ha! Nice try, SWAT Kats, but my engines are waterproof!

T-Bone: No use, buddy. Without your high-tech gadgets, we’re just sitting ducks.

Razor: Then we’re gonna have to go low-tech. Let him get closer, T-Bone. I’m opening the bomb bay doors.

T-Bone: I hope you know what you’re doing, buddy, or we’re gonna get our tail blown off! He’s locked us in!

Razor: I’m only gonna get one shot.

Hard Drive: Augh!

Razor: Bingo!

Hard Drive: Noo… I can’t see!

Razor: Going somewhere, Hard Drive?

Ann Gora: And so, even without their trademark gadgets, the incredible SWAT Kats have brought another criminal to justice and saved Megakat City millions.

Cmdr. Feral: “Saved the city millions,” Ann? What about that water tower they wrecked? Not to mention the train bridge. [black spray paint starts to cover the tv screen] Extensive damage to Megakat Tunnel. A dozen buildings…

Chance: Oh, that Feral. I’m glad we had some paint left over, Jake.

Jake: [smacks forehead] Aw, Chance! Next time you get upset at the tv, how about just turning it off?

FADE OUT