The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation


 * Penny: Leonard, you’re back.
 * Leonard: Yeah, I just stopped by to say… (She grabs him and kisses him passionately.) Yeah, so, hi!
 * Penny: Hi! (They stumble, kissing, into her apartment and slam the door shut.)
 * Howard: Dammit, I should have gone over and told her we were back.
 * Raj: (Sarcastically) Yeah, it was first come, first served.


 * Leonard: Hey. Listen, since we got, you know, interrupted last night, I didn't have a chance to give you this.
 * Penny: Oh, Leonard, you shouldn't have. Oh, boy! What is it?
 * Leonard: It’s a snowflake. From the North Pole.
 * Penny: Are you serious?
 * Leonard: Uh-huh. It’ll last forever. I preserved it in a one percent solution of polyvinyl acetyl resin.
 * Penny: Oh, my God. That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me that I didn't understand.


 * Penny: Well, wait a second, Leonard, come on, how can you not go? He’s your best friend.
 * Leonard: Yeah, but I already saw him naked. Just come here.
 * Penny: No. I promise I will be here when you get back. Just go help Sheldon.
 * Leonard: Really?
 * Penny: Yeah. We waited a few months. We can wait a few more days.
 * Leonard: Maybe you can.


 * (Leonard, Howard and Raj are at Sheldon's mother's place in Galveston, Texas, trying to get Sheldon to come home with them. Howard is wearing a goofy cowboy hat and a mustache. Leonard rings the doorbell.)
 * Leonard: Can you please take that stupid hat off?
 * Howard: No, I wanna blend in.
 * Raj: (he's looking rather puzzled) To what, Toy Story?
 * (Leonard chuckles at Raj's remark. Mary Cooper opens the door.)
 * Mary: Hi, boys.
 * Howard (with Texan accent): Howdy, Ma'am.
 * Mary: Howdy to you too, you got here quick.
 * Leonard: Ah, we took the Red Eye.
 * Mary: Well, come on in.
 * Howard (with Texan accent): Thank you kindly.
 * Mary: Can I, can I get you something to drink?
 * Leonard: Uh, no, thank you.
 * Howard (with Texan accent): Uh, if ya'll don't mind, I'm hankering for a Lone Star Beer.
 * Mary: (she's rather cross with Howard) There's no alcohol in this household, stop talking like that and lose the hat.
 * Howard (In normal voice): Sorry, I'll take a Diet Yoo-hoo if you have it.
 * Mary: You'll take a coke. (To Raj) What about you, Raj, is it? Oh you still having trouble talking to the ladies? (chuckles) Because you know at our church, we have a woman who's an amazing healer. Mostly she does, uh, crutch and wheelchair people, but I bet she'd be willing to take a shot at whatever third world demon is running around inside of you.
 * Leonard: Uh, if you don't mind, Mrs. Cooper there's a 3:05 non-stop back to Los Angeles and you have no idea how much I wanna be on it.
 * Mary: A girl?
 * Leonard: Uh, yes, ma'am.
 * Mary: Good, I've been praying for you.
 * (Sheldon walks into the room.)
 * Mary: Oh. Sheldon.
 * Sheldon: What are they doing here?
 * Leonard: Uh we came to apologize.
 * Howard: Again.
 * Leonard: And bring you home, so why don't you pack up your stuff and we'll head back.
 * Sheldon: No. This is my home now. Thanks to you, my career is over. And I will spend the rest of my life in Texas, trying to teach evolution to creationists.
 * Mary: (she really is cross with Sheldon) You watch your mouth, Shelly. Everyone's entitled to their opinion.
 * Sheldon: Evolution isn't an opinion. It's fact.
 * Mary: (she's completley furious for the last time) And that is your opinion
 * (She now frowns whilst Sheldon is glaring harder at his mother for a few seconds)
 * Sheldon (Turning to the guys): I forgive you, let's go home.
 * (Goes to get his stuff.)
 * Mary: (she chuckles) Don't tell me prayer doesn't work.


 * Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard.
 * Leonard: (whispering) Do not make a sound.
 * Sheldon: Whispering "do not make a sound" is a sound.
 * Leonard: Damn his Vulcan hearing. Not a good time, Sheldon.
 * Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny.
 * Penny: Oh, this is ridiculous. (Opens door) What?
 * Sheldon: Hello, Penny. I realize you're currently at the mercy of your primitive biological urges, but as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?
 * Penny: It's great to see you too. Come on in.