The Romance Recalibration


 * Bernadette: It’s okay. Howie never has on pants. The Domino’s guy brings the pizza like this now. [Covers eyes while holding out her other arm.]


 * Sheldon: I..what [game] would you be happiest at losing at?


 * Penny: When was the last time you got a massage?
 * Amy: Sheldon walked on my back two weeks ago, but that was just ‘cause there was a spider on his pillow and he was trying to get away.
 * Penny: Leonard stood on me once, too, but he was just trying to see the Rose Parade.


 * Sheldon: If you find this draft acceptable, then I believe your new Relationship Agreement is ready to be signed.
 * Penny: Article 8, subsection: Leonard will restrict video-gaming in underpants to hours Penny is not home. This includes boxers, briefs, thongs, G stings or anything else that calls attention to his pasty little thighs.
 * Leonard: Does it really have to say that?
 * Sheldon: I did this for free, let me get a little something.
 * Leonard: Article 10, subsection C: If questioned, Penny may not say that everything is fine if it isn’t. Other unacceptable responses include: “It’s nothing,” “Don’t worry about that,” and “I said it’s nothing, don’t worry about that.”
 * Penny: I think it looks good.
 * Leonard: Me too.
 * Sheldon: Oh, well. Great, then. Here. You sign here, date here. And, Penny, if you could initial here to indicate that you’re accepting Leonard in “as is” condition.
 * Amy: Aw, I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.
 * Sheldon: Mm. You seem to be forgetting the “no nostalgia” clause.
 * Amy: Right, right. Got it.