Encyclopedia Brown and the Missing Balls

Encyclopedia: Encyclopedia Brown is on the case! Aha! Miss September has implants! (overhears his mother talking over the phone and eavesdrop on her in the kitchen)

Mrs. Brown: I swear Hazel, I don't know what to do with that man! He just won't ask his boss for a raise! When I married Roger, he had such balls! Where did his balls go?

Encyclopedia: Dad's balls are missing? (Gasps) A mystery!

(Cut to Mr. Brown's office)

Encyclopedia: (wipes the window outside the office)

Boss: BROWN! YOU REALLY SCREWED UP THESE FIGURES! AGAIN!

Mr. Brown: Yes sir.

Boss: WHO HAS S*** FOR BRAINS?!

Mr. Brown: Me.

Boss: WHAT'S THAT?

Mr. Brown: I do. I have s*** for brains.

Boss: That's better!

Encyclopedia: Hmmm... (takes notes)

(Cut to a bar)

Mr. Brown: (Sobs as his tears fall into his beer)

Bartender: (Cleans glass) Wow. I've been a bartender eighteen years and never seen anyone cry actual tears into their beer. Kudos, chum.

Mr. Brown: (Wipes tear) Thanks.

Encyclopedia Brown: (Disguised as a cowboy and takes notes) Mmmhmmm.

(Cut to a strip club)

Mr. Brown: (Watches happily as a stripper dances in front of him)

Encyclopedia: (Watches stripper and draws stripper's boobs on his notepad)

(Cut to Sea Dee Motel)

Mr. Brown: (Laughs while he unlocks the door) Strippers always get so mad when you assume they're hookers.

Stripper: Well, I'm definitely am one.

Mr. Brown: (Opens door and enters with stripper following him)

Encyclopedia: (Jumps in front of the motel door wearing a ninja suit and takes pictures through the window) Mmmhmmm... Aha!

(Cut to cue-card that says "For the solution of this mystery, turn to page 87" with doorbell sound effect)

(Cue static)