The Peanut Reaction

Quotes

 * Leonard: How did you know my birthday's Saturday?
 * Penny: I did your horoscope remember? I was going to do everybody's until Sheldon went on one of his typical psychotic rants.
 * Sheldon: For the record, that psychotic rant was a concise summation of the research of Bertram Forer, who, in 1948, proved conclusively through meticulously designed experiments, that astrology is nothing, but pseudo-scientific hokum.
 * Penny: Blah, blah, blah, a typical Taurus. So, seriously, we gonna see you Saturday?
 * Leonard: Uh, I don't think so.
 * Penny: Why not?
 * Leonard: I don't celebrate my birthday.
 * Penny: Shut up, yeah, you do.
 * Leonard: It's no big deal; it's just the way I was raised. My parents focused on celebrating achievements, and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them.
 * Penny: Uh, that's so silly.
 * Sheldon: It's actually based on very sound theories; his mother published a paper on it.
 * Penny: Well what was it called, I Hate My Son and That's Why He Can't Have Cake?
 * Sheldon: It was obviously effective, Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist, perhaps if she also denied him Christmas, he'd be a little better at it.
 * Leonard (sarcastically to Sheldon): Thank you.
 * Howard: Well, I love birthdays; waking up to Mom's special French Toast breakfast, wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag with all my friends...
 * Penny: Yeah! See? That's what kids should have!
 * Howard: Actually, that was last year.


 * Penny: Okay, here’s the deal, you either help me throw Leonard a birthday party or, so help me God, I will go into your bedroom and I will unbag all of your most valuable mint condition comic books. And on one of them, you won’t know which; I’ll draw a tiny happy face in ink.
 * Sheldon: You can’t do that, if you make a mark on a mint comic book it’s no longer mint.
 * Penny: Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?


 * Penny: Okay, how about this. You keep him there a little longer and when you get to the party I’ll point out which of my friends are easy.
 * Howard: Don’t toy with me, woman.
 * Penny: I’ve got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem, I've got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around and an alcoholic who’s two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.
 * Howard: Thy will be done. (Thinks. Reaches into back pocket, finds the half a granola bar from earlier. Looks down.) I’m doing this for you, little buddy. (Takes a bite.)


 * Leonard: Excuse me, my friend is having an allergic reaction to peanuts!
 * Nurse Althea: No, he's not.
 * Leonard: (concerned) Yes, he is!
 * Nurse Althea: Look, sir we are very busy here and I just don’t… (sees Howard's peanut allergic face) Holy Crap! [Reaction]
 * Howard: (swollen and mumbling) Please help me.
 * Nurse: (on the intercom) Code 4, I need a gurney, right away, right away.
 * Howard: Thank you.