Bride Wars

-#I found # -#I found # -#I dreamed of # -#Dreamed of,dreamed of # -#But I couldn't think # -#But I couldn't think # the long way out # -# 'Cause it's gonna be # -#It's gonna be # Yeah,yeah # the long way out # -# 'Cause it's gonna be # -#It's gonna be # Yeah,yeah # [ Woman Narrating ] It all began at the Rlaza Hotel::: twenty years ago in the month ofjune: - [ Crowd Chattering ] - Two mothers brought their daughters, Liv and Emma::: here to the Ralm Court for tea: On that afternoon, there was a wedding: There was something blue, something borrowed::: and something completely magical: And two little girls from New jersey::: held in their hands a new dream- that one day they would find that one person::: who would stand by them no matter what::: and when they did, they too::: would havejune weddings at the Rlaza: Thank you. And, yes, Your Honor, I will take this lofty man to be my husband. I always knew my wedding would be the happiest day of my life. Now I will dance with you until we have six babies and a house. Do you think they let pets inside the Plaza? Well, it's not like we're getting married until we're 1 6 at least: Next time, can I play the bride? Emma, you know I always play the bride. [ Woman On Stereo ] - # This will be- ## - Not too shabby. - Caviar cocktail hour- - Cigar roller, white glove service- - Celadon cymbidium orchids. - Great deejay. [ Liv ] So we both admit it's beautiful. - Um,yeah: - But? Do you think it's the work of Marion St: Claire? Oh. Marion's a visionary. Mmm? - Oh. - If it had been my wedding- - Oh,just say it. - It ain'tjune. - And it ain't the Plaza. - It's the elephant in the room. Yeah. [ Gasps ] - And here you are. - Oh, look. A duck made out of ice. Isn't this great? Know what else is great? Going home early and watching your backed-up TiVo? Am I that predictable? How about one more dance... and I'll give you my piece of the cake- if you let me lead. Very funny. - Come on. Come on. - You know I always lead. Hey. Oh. Hi, girls. [ Laughs ] - Are you ready to catch this bouquet? - Gotta go. - I'm so happy all of you are here: - On the other hand, always fun. I know. They take it so seriously. - My work friends, sort of: - [ Guests Laugh ] My college buds- Oh, my God: Emma Allan, is that the same dress you wore to the Delta Gamma... ""Kegs for a Cause'' semiformal, like, a bazillion years ago? [ Murmuring ] - Yeah. - What's your point? Because it's a classic. - If a dress works, you work it hard. - Oh. See, that is sweet. And loyal. Girlfriends sticking up for each other. I like that, a lot: Keep that: - Anyway, are you guys ready to catch this? - Yeah. Just think about it, feel it, catch it- One, two, three! [ Narrator] I would have seen the signs if I'd been there: It's all right there: Look at Emma's eyes-Like a hunter's: And Liv's hand-How would you like that clasped around your throat? Not that either of them can imagine hurting each other at this point: Why should they? They've been inseparable for 20 years: Okay, slow down. - Why can't we run with iPods? - We can't run with iPods because iPods... are for people who can't be alone with their own thoughts. I'm literally running circles around you. Do you know that? Do you know how many things I can think about at once? You know what a multitasker I am. You're not enjoying my conversation? Is that what you're saying? - I'm hurt. I am very hurt, Liv. - I gotta go. - All right. Have a good day. - Love you. - Call me. Tell me how the meeting goes. - Watch this power walk. - Whoo! - WhooI - [ Bell Dings ] - Hey, did you get the changes to the brief? - Read and highlighted in the cab. - Great. Purse. It's like the whole city is made out of lint. It's an aggressive approach, exploiting the weaknesses of our plaintiffs case::: and I think judicially we'll find favor- Particularly if we pulljustice Givens. Thank you, Liv. Our best associate, Mr. Simmons. Maybe your approach is too aggressive. I mean, if we pound them::: as you suggest, they'll hardly be in the mood to settle. Mr. Simmons, you don't- You don't know me, but I- I know you: All you need to know is how badly you want to win... because we won't be settling. - You're right. She's perfect. - [ Bell Rings ] - Oh, Ms. Allan? - Hey, Robert. What's up? I think Ms. Delgado is looking for you. Is she? W-Was she nearby? - She- She's in her room. - She's- Emma, there you are. - Oh, God, Deb. Hi. - I know. Isn't it gorgeous? God, I feel so blessed to have this body. [ Chuckles ] - You know, I am so late- - No, no, no. Listen. You gotta help me out here. - You know the debate team? - Yeah. I cannot go to the state finals. I mean, children talking about their little problems. Ugh! You gotta do it for me. Yeah, Deb, I'm already doing your late bus patrol... and pep squad and your after-school detention. - You're the debate team adviser. I don't think that I should- - I know. I do so much. I wish I could just do the bare minimum. I so admire you for that. Thank you. Anyway, all right, look. Here's how we'll work it out. - I'll do the debate team- - Okay, good. Uh-huh. If you take my Tuesday study halls for the rest of the year. - Okay? - Yeah, that's- No. [ Laughing ] All right. You owe me, girl. - Get out of the hallway, kids! - You know why she does this? - You're the best teacher at that school. - No, I- She's trying to overwork you, so you crack under pressure. - Mm-mmm. - Middle school's a jungle. I don't know. I think she's kind of sad. I mean, she's been divorced, like, three times. She's way ahead of us. I mean, where are our divorces? I gotta get married first. - God, I hate Daniel! [ Laughs ] - ##[ Rhone] No, Kevin. I'm dealing with a crisis. What's your crisis? Uh, that's code for ""I don't want to talk to you.'' Oh, I see. Well, then thank you for putting me through. - See? I told you those jeans would look great on you. - They aren't too tight? No, no: Not at all: But this- I mean, Emma, yellow- Not your color. Okay? Seriously. Oh, but you know what? Try this. Because-You know what? Keep it. - Well- - It never hung right on me anyway. Of course it doesn't hang right on you. It's... my size, and it's new. This is the Dolce blouse I told you about last week. - Liv, I can't. - Hey, hey. It was on sale. - I practically made money on it. - Liv, it's too much. Emma, Emma. Emma- Just say thank you.just- - Thank you. It's beautiful. I love it. - Good: Now this- Emma's stuff. Emma's stuff. Let's get rid of it at one point. You moved out, like, a hundred years ago. Okay. - Daniel's sweater? Cardigan? You wanna try that? - Yeah, love it. [ Both Gasp ] Oh- Tiffany box. - You're getting engaged? - I'm getting engaged. - I'm getting engaged! - You're getting engaged! - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! - Emma- - No! Stop it. No. Liv! - I have to look. - Stop it! No! No! - No, no! - [ Squealing ] - You can't stop me. - [ Screams ] I'm sorry. But he should see your face when you first see the ring. Good call. You always think of others, Emma. It never occurs to me like that. I mean, sometimes it does. I'm really happy for you. Promise me you won't tell anyone until after he proposes. Oh, God. I would never. I'd be out of my mind. - I'm engaged! - [ Screams ] - Can we get four tequila shots? - No. No. No, no, no. None for me. - [ Chuckles ] Oh, right. - I'm fine. Acapulco, 2006- Emma and Fletcher on a break. [ Falsetto Voice ] ""Never talk about that weekend again.'' ""I'm so lonely and confused, and very thirsty. Please, Miguel''- Okay, okay, okay. Make it stop. Please. All right, a toast: To Liv- Congratulations to an amazing friend. And condolences to Emma, Liv's maid of honor. She will surely be the most nightmarish bride ever. It is my burden and mine alone. - I'll be repaying the favor very soon. Cheers. - Drink up. - What did I rush down here for? - Nate! I'm getting married. - Get out. - Yeah. - Oh, my God. Sister's gettin' married here. - [ Chuckles ] - Where's-Where's the groom? - Oh. Oh. He's not here: Well, he hasn't actually popped the question yet. A toast-To Daniel... who in his own world is just working late::: but I guess in Liv's world has just proposed. So God bless him for wanting... to spend his life with my sister in any world. - To Liv. - We love ya. - He's a lucky guy. - [ Woman ] Yep: The biggest day of a girl's life: I'm gonna be right back. - Damn. Should I? - I got it. I mean, they didn't get to see me graduate law school... or read Nate's first story in New York magazine. So I can't share this with 'em. I wish your parents could be here too. Whatever. It's fine. I'm fine. Liv, you're only human. You don't have to have it together every minute of every day. Former chubby girls- We're made of steel. And Splenda. We survive. Well, first of all, you weren't fat. - [ Chuckles ] - But, yes, you do survive. - Thanks, Em. - You're welcome, Liv. You're gonna be the best maid of honor. - Yes, I am. - What do we do first? First- Oh! I was thinking. It might be a good idea to actually get the proposal. See? It's that head for details. Yeah, right? I know. [ Man On TV]
 * 1) [ Rop ]
 * 1) So many things #
 * 1) You fell in love with me #
 * 1) Ofhow it could be #
 * 2) And I finally found him #
 * 3) And I'm takin'
 * 1) Somethin'special to me #
 * 2) Somethin'special to me
 * 1) Days go by and we're still laughing #
 * 2) He's all mine #
 * 3) And I'm never alone #
 * 4) Days go by and we're still happy #
 * 5) He's all mine alone #
 * 6) He's something special to me #
 * 7) He's something special to me #
 * 8) He's something special to me #
 * 9) Yeah,yeah #
 * 10) And I finally found him #
 * 11) And I'm takin'
 * 1) Somethin'special to me #
 * 2) Somethin'special to me
 * 1) Days go by and we're still happy #
 * 2) He's all mine alone ##
 * 1) This will be an everlasting love #
 * 1) [ Rop On R:A:]
 * people watching this performance at home:::

with a huge question mark: Hey, babe? I don't think they sent us any fortune cookies. No, they sent 'em: I got them right here: Oh, good. Okay. Here we are. - I'm just cuing it up. - Mm-hmm. - This guy's gotta go. I'm sorry. I know you like him. - Mm-hmm. - He's very pitchy. - You know, Fletch, that is actually a real thing. Pitchy. It's not just code for someone you don't like. Oh, okay. You're pitchy. Oh, uh, that one's mine. - Please. - You're really calling dibs on fortune cookies now? - Yeah. It's on the right side. - Okay, it's fine. - Yours is the left. - If your fortune's better than mine, I'm claiming it. - I don't think it will be. - Okay. Are you ready? - One- - Two. Three. What's this? I put a lot of thought into where I was gonna do this... and, uh, I wanna do it here. This is our home... and if I'm 99 years old and we're doing exactly this in our home- TV and gettin' Chinese food- that'll be good enough for me. - [ Laughs ] - So, Emma Allan? - Uh-huh? - Will you marry me? - Yes. Yes. - [ Rhone Ringing ] - [ Beeps ] - It didn't happen tonight. - But I'm not worried, 'cause I'm sure Daniel's- - I-I'm engaged. Fletcher just proposed, like, two minutes ago. I'm engaged. - Color? - Colorless. - Cut? - Brilliant. - Clarity? - Slightly included. - Carat? - Almost, maybe just under. [ Whispering ] More than he could afford, I'm sure. - Ohhh. - [ Squeals ] - [ Rhone Ringing ] - Engaged? Wow! Liv's engaged. You're engaged. That's-That's- C-Can I call you back? What do you mean Emma's engaged? No. Of course I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be happy? I think it's great. Yeah. No, you don't have to come here. I'm fine. I'm not gonna eat anything. Okay. And I have the perfect wedding present. - [ Clears Throat ] - [ Beeps ] You are going to live with Emma and Fletcher. [ Sighs ] You're irritating me. I can't believe it. It's so weird having this on my finger. I mean, hey, look. - It even sparkles in the rain. - Blinding. Ouch. So I'm thinking about getting Dj Humble to spin at my party. - I don't know though. Is that weird? - You should go for it. - I'm not really a big band kind of girl. - Whatever. - It's your wedding. - Oh. My mom can't fly up until the wedding. She's too busy with work. But who cares. I've got you, right? - Yeah. I'm so psyched. - So would you come with me to meet her? - I'm sorry. What? Meet who? - Marion St. Claire. Haven't you been listening? I've got an appointment with her on Friday. - You already made an appointment? - Yeah. - You just got engaged last night. - I know. But technically, I'm already behind. You gotta book early if you want the Plaza. The Plaza? I can't believe this. What-What's the matter? Why are you mad? I'm not mad. No, not at you. I just don't know what's taking Daniel so long. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- We don't have to talk about this. Let's just drop it. Don't worry about me. Worry about Daniel. - He's gonna be dead soon. - Why? What- - Call you later. - What are you go- Liv, you let him do this his own way. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me! Honey! Will you just marry me, already? Yeah. Okay. Isn't that what you want? 'Cause it's what I want... and I just wanna know if you want to marry me. - Don't you wanna get married? - Honey, can we talk about this later? Oh, you changed your mind? I saw the Tiffany box in the closet. - Right? - [ Exhales ] - Uh- - Oh, my God. [ Chuckles ] It's not a ring? If it's a key chain I'm gonna kill myself... - and I'm taking you down with me. - Oh. Could you just tell me right here and right now? Is it something that you would want? Would you want- Would you want to get married? You know what I will tell you? I have never met a more obnoxious... complicated, overbearing::: gorgeous, smart, sexy woman in my life. And- [ Laughs ] if you had just waited until tonight- [ Gasps ] - [ Laughs ] - then you wouldn't be the woman I fell in love with... because she doesn't know how to wait. - Will you hold that for a second? - Yeah. Which is fine, as long as I get to spend the rest of my life... trying to catch up with her. - Liv? - Hmm? Will you marry me? - Are you proposing? - Mmm. Really? Honey, it's so out of nowhere. - Liv, shut up. Yes or no? - Yes. Yes. - Babe. - Yes. - This is not how I planned it. - [ Liv ] Are you kidding? Oh! - I love ""Bring Your Hot Girlfriend to Work'' day. - Totally. [ Squeals ] [ Narrator] And that is the journey that brought::: these two young brides to my townhouse on that particular afternoon: - [ Whines ] - No, no, no. Don't do that. Not now. Not now. Let's go. Okay. I'm good. I'm Marion St: Claire::: the most sought-after wedding planner in Manhattan: - Hi. We're Marion's 1 :00. - Mm-hmm. We're both getting married, and we're both each other's maid of honor. No way. That's incredible. Ms. St. Claire will see you now. - Hi. I'm Liv Lerner. - Hi, Ms. St. Claire. Wow. - This is Emma Allan. - What an honor. - We've been best friends for a long time. - I can't believe this. Sit. - Okay. - Got it. A wedding marks the first day... of the rest of your life. You have been dead until now. W-Were you aware of that? You're dead right now. - I understand. - Thank you. Angela, for example, will die dead. Now I've read the brief that she put together on you- [ Laughing ] June weddings at the Plaza. [ Chuckling ] So it's not even a remote possibility? If you'd gone elsewhere, not a chance. But you've come to me. [ Laughs ] Call me dream catcher. I'll answer. Ooh. Dream catcher. I happen to have... - three openings at the Rlaza in june: - [ Typing ] Two the first Saturday... and one the last Saturday. That would be the 6th and the 27 th. Oh! My parents' anniversary is the 6th. That's so meant to be. - Oh, my gosh! - Yeah. - Well, then I'll take the 27 th. - Great. Um, you'll wanna discuss this with your grooms. - [ Together] No. - All right then. Just sign and... date these. - Okay. - This feels pretty good right now, I gotta say. Now, uh, we should discuss themes. - Uh, elegant minimalism- - Classic traditionalism- - with romantic textures. - and trendy infusion. - I'm impressed. - Really? - Well, we love you so much. - She means- She means ""Thank you.'' [ Angela ] Your 1 :1 5 is here, Ms. St. Claire. Thank you... so much. [ Angela ] I have packets for you up front: Bride to bride, there's only onejune opening left at the Plaza. Oh, my God. Thank you. You are so sweet. Ms. St. Claire, first off, I'm obsessed with you. - Uh, it's an honor and a privilege. - Sit. Sure. [ Squealing ] June. At the Plaza. [ Both Screaming, Laughing ] [ Marion Narrating ] Look at them-So blissfully unaware::: of the implications of their wedding date: You see, at this point,june was a mere three and a half months away- A blink of an eye, in wedding time: [ Woman ] Got the sunshine above # beautiful reasons I have to be # Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Miss ***- Ohh- Lace bodice. Basque waist, 1 0-layer tulle- [ Sighs ] You should try it on. No. No, no. I'm wearing my mom's dress. Emma, are you sure? Your mom's dress is beautiful, but is- is it your dream or hers? It's mine. It's mine. I wanna surprise her. But it is your day. Can't you just send her a big box of chocolates on Mother's Day... - and get the dress you want? - It's really pretty. - And I do love strapless. - Me too. I feel like I'm cheating on my mom's dress. I can't. I can't. I've very comfortable with my decision. - I'm just gonna put it back. Put it back. - Okay. But I mean, if you like it... -you should try it on. - No. You saw it first. - Please. - That's a terrible reason. We're gonna try this on, okay? No, uh, I'm gonna... try it on. It's stunning. It's perfect. - [ Exhales ] I know. Right? - Mm-hmm. I should probably keep looking. Do you think there is something better than Vera ***? I'm sorry. Do they keep that next to the something that is better than chocolate? - Liv, get the dress. - What if you change your mind? Just be very careful about any pre-wedding weight gain. You don't alter a Vera to fit you; you alter yourself to fit Vera. Weight gain. Please. Yeah. Right. Me lose control? You see these eyes? You know what that is? Focus. That's right. Well, it's contacts- and focus. - You know, I'll take it. - Perfect. I'll get you more champagne. -##[ Rhone] -[ Rhone Ringing ] [ Together] Marion. A terrible mistake has been made... one I assure you has never happened before... in the House of St. Claire. Your weddings have been booked on the same day. Can you say that again? I'm sorry: What? [ Clears Throat ] Your weddings have been scheduled for the same date. - Mother ""F.'' - Are you insane? The Plaza is our lifelong dream. Angela... mixed up the dates. You are now both set to be married june 6... and the other bride on june 27. The next available date at the Rlaza is june 1 5- - Perfect. I'll take it. - Three years from now. [ Weak Laugh ] - This is no- - No, I can't- It's no problem. Hold on. It's no problem. Because I'll negotiate it. I negotiate for a living. - I'll get the other bride to switch her dates with you. - Trust me. You can't say no to that face. Yes, well, our confidentiality agreement::: means that I cannot tell you who she is... - so which one of you will choose a different venue? - [ Intercom Beeps ] [ Angela ] I'm leaving right now, Ms: St: Claire: Word to the wise, dear- and also to you- do not use me as a reference. - Hello, Angela. -just... tell us where the other bride is... and nobody's gonna get hurt. [ Beeping ] - Hi. - Hello, Stacy. - How are you? - It's Emma and Liv. - You look gorgeous. - Did you lose weight? You want me to change the date of my wedding? - Yeah: - That'd be great. - No. - You take the 6th, give me the 27 th- She can be your wedding buddy. - I'm a ball. Really. I am. - Don't touch me. Let's talk numbers. Every wedding has a price, hon. What's yours? You can't buy me. So again, no. No, no, no. A thousand times, no. Good luck, ladies. There's something wrong with you. You're not leaving until you change your- - [ Screams ] -[ Stacy ] She's crazyI -just change your date. - She's crazy! Somebody call Security. - You won't even change your date! - You're crazy! - It's unnecessary for you to touch me so hard. - Technically, she pushed me too. - Come on. Have a nice day. - Whatever. We could sue. We could sue. You're a lawyer. We could sue 'em all. We could sue the Plaza. We could sue Marion. We could sue Angela- What's the point? None of them are gonna make it right. No. It's up to us. I want you at my wedding. And whichever way this works out... one of us will just have to be married on a different day. Absolutely. I mean, you know, I want you at my wedding. Obviously. If we can't think of any other way out of this... one of us will simply have to be flexible. Yeah. One of us will just have to change venues. Right. One of us could. Rrobably, um, not::: the one of us who's been saving up for a decade... because she makes a pittance compared to the other one of us, but- True. I mean, or it would be... if the other one of us wasn't so desperate to get married at the Plaza... because the Plaza, practically, is the only happy memory she has of her childhood. - So, oops. That's- - Right. - One of us will have to move her date. - Yep. One of us will. And until one of us decides, we shouldn't make any concrete plans. Agreed. There's some time before we lock things in. - Let's just not do anything- - Right. - until one of us moves her date. - Okay. So, um- Talk to you soon. One of us should- Call the other one. One of us hasn't called me yet, but you know what? She's gonna move her date. She always was the bendy one, even as a kid, remember? Yeah, she didn't sound too bendy to me. [ TV: Explosions, Beeps ] [ Beeps ] I called Fletch, and she picked up. He's doin'my taxes tomorrow night: You can't get all buddy-buddy with him. Not now. Anyway, Daniel can do your taxes. He's ""financey.'' It's a hedge fund, babe. We don't do a lot of tax prep. - Whatever. You do our taxes. - Fletch has been my accountant for six years. I'm going. You're being ridiculous: just have a double wedding: What are we, 41 -year-old twin sisters? Babe! Double wedding. [ Fletcher] A double wedding: I think that's a great idea: - It would be a hell of a party. - You know, uh, no. [ Chuckles ] I've shared everything my whole life with Liv. - I'd kinda like my own day just-just once. - [ Calculator Clicking ] I know, bug. Is this everything? This is all your gas receipts- Threw it all in the shoe box. I don't know. - It's my dream too-To get married at the Plaza. - [ Clicking ] I have been saving since I was 1 6. I just need a few more days to::: let it go: I'll find a new dream. Liv's reasons are better than mine. It's like American Idol, all right? Liv is the Simon. Ugh. God. I mean, no offense. But you're the Paula. Even when they can't sing, you compliment their outfit: - It's nice: - Well, but everyone listens to Simon. I wouldn't marry Simon. I'd marry me some Paula. Mmm. - That's nice. -just pick one. I'm fine with any of'em. See? That's why I need a maid of honor. You don't care. I- Hey, you wanna have her back in the game? You know what you're gonna have to do, and the sooner the better. - We need to give our guests some notice. - Exactly. - Which is why save-the-dates are so key, but you don't care. - [ Rhone Rings ] - It's not that I don't care. - Well, get your phone then. - Hello? - Men. Yo, Fletch. No, nothin' much. Just lookin' at save-the-dates or invites. - Are we still on for tomorrow? - Yeah, totally. Any sign of progress on your end? Is Liv softening at all? No way. And there's no way she's gonna blink first. They haven't spoken for a week: That's a century in girl years. What is it about weddings that makes 'em so worked up? I know. I have no idea. It's, like, the wrong time to let the guy know that you're crazy. - You know what I mean? It's not how I'd play it. - Yeah. - [ Door Opens ] - Oh, you know what? She's here now. - I'll see you tomorrow? - All right. [ Emma ] Hey: - Hi, sweetie. - Hi. - How was pep squad? - I hate pep squad. I particularly hate peppy teenage girls... who insist everyone be aggressive- B.E. aggressive. It's, like, there are other pathways in life besides aggression, you know? I'm gonna call Liv. - Really? - Yeah. Amie and Marissa are throwing us that joint shower... and it'd be good to have all this behind us by then. Right? - You sure? - Yeah. Yeah: I agree: I was just talkin' to Daniel: She's on her cell: You should call her. They're out doin' their save-the-dates or whatever. - What? - You should hit her up. You have to know your ""date'' date... to send out your save-the-dates. Oh. We were both gonna wait, and she- she- I ca- I can't believe it. You can't believe this? Really? It's Liv. - She's always thinking about number one. - No: Not this time. No. No, no, no, no, no. I am a bride too. Okay? I'm number one too: I-You are my number one. I know. That's how I feel. Bug, what are you doing? - [ Sighs ] - [ Beeping ] - Subject- - Listen. Listen. No, no, no, no, no. Emergency. This is not spam. - I'm getting married,june 6- - You don't have to slam on the keys. The Plaza Hotel. Be there. X-O-X-O-X-O-X-O. Emma. Address book. B.C.C. everyone. Oops: Not you, Liv: - And send: - [ Beeps ] [ Beeping, Buzzing ] ""Emergen-C-C-C. "Thys' is "nit' spam. - I'm get married.june 6th.'' - [ Sizzling ] - [ Beeping ] - ""K.j.A.''? ""Kuh-jaw''? - [ Beeps ] - ""Emma.'' What is ""kuh-jaw,'' Emma? [ Beeps ] Great. Emma's wedding's gonna be better than ours was. - Glen. - [ Beeps ] Maybe her marriage will be better too. - Not filled with loneliness and sadness. - [ Toilet Flushes ] I hope you can appreciate the positions Amie and I are in. - We're not taking sides. - Relax. - We're not making any plans until we figure this out. - Wow. - You're so cool about it. - Yeah. - How else am I gonna be? - I mean-Without taking sides though, I have to say... Emma's save-the-date e-mail was a smidge tacky. I mean, ""june 6 at the Plaza,'' smiley face? What's next, hearts over her i's? - Come on, really- What was she thinking? - Oh, hey. - I know, right? - That was so tacky. - It's shocking. - [ Emma ] Hi: Hi, Heidi: [ Indistinct ] - Oh, Elizabeth, I love my ring. - [ Woman ] Oh, my gosh: [ Liv ] Emma? You sent out your save-the-dates? Yeah, I did, actually. - [ Woman Clears Throat ] - Uh- Surprised? So one of us... is not moving her date? [ Both Slurping ] Well, you amaze me, Liv. You really do. You-You never ask me what I want. You just figure you know best, end of story. ""Emma, wear this. Emma, say that.'' Well, Emma's pretty frickin' tired of it. - Oh, whoa. - Don't think I didn't notice how totally freaked out... -you were because I had the nerve to get engaged before you did. - Okay, wait: First of all, Daniel bought that ring in December. Okay? So officially, I was first. - Oh, pathetic. Pathetic! - Second, people always make you do things you don't wanna do: Emma, it's like you don't have a spine. Oh, wait. That's right. You don't have a spine. - [ Women Murmuring ] - Wow. No one could accuse you of being soft, Liv. You grabbed the first date in june Marion offered::: without even asking me first. At least I'm not so terrified of being alone... that I people-please my way through life. Emma, you settle. Are you saying that I'm settling with Fletcher? I wasn't thinking about Fletcher. You came up with that one on your own. Ooh. Move your date, Liv. You move your date, Emma. It's done. You lose. Your wedding better watch it. What did you just say? I said your wedding should be very scared right now. If I were your wedding, I'd sleep with one eye open. Why don't you just save your threats for Daniel? After all, isn't that how you got a proposal out of him? - [ Whispering ] That's how I did it. - Your wedding can suck it. What did you just say? My wedding can suck it? - I said your wedding can suck it. - Your wedding can s- be- I mean, yours can be, um- Can-Can be, uh- - [ Snickers ] - not that- Please. - Bye, ladies. - Hey, Liv. [ Whispering ] Yes. Your wedding will be huge. Just like your *** at prom. [ All Gasp ] We're done. 5:00, Saturday,june 6. Done. - Done. - Hmm. - Good. Now we just have to find you another maid of honor, uh, and fast. You'll be spending more time with her than with the groom. - My friends won't take sides. - Who says it has to be a friend? - No! No! Not just a bridesmaid. - [ Man ] This spot okay? Yeah. Maid of honor. Maid of honor. Yeah. We were so close in law school. That study group was nuts. Oh, sweetie, you are my second cousin's best friend. Of course you were at the very top of my maid of honor list. Honestly, Carla. Caitlin? Erin, no. I did not sleep with him. All right, okay. I did, actually. Once. Twice. What difference does it make? He was a loser, and he was lousy in- You did? Really? I didn't hear that- Two kids? Wow. You guys must have had really cute kids. Uh, yeah. Tell him I say hi, and- Actually, I'm hopping into a cab, so I'm gonna give you a call a little later. - Kevin? - Yeah? I'd like to promote you- to mister of honor. Do I get- Is- Is it, like, a pay thing? No.just- It's just an honor. [ Deb ] Uh, have a classmate read your draft: I think that's a great idea: Because by letting a classmate read your draft- Oh, thank God. All right. You guys finish the rest of this. Just read it yourselves. - Did you get my note? - Yeah. Can you take my late bus patrol today? Sure. - Deb? - Yeah? - [ Chuckles ] - [ Chuckling ] Yeah? - I know we're not exactly friends- - We're not? - Then why am I always doing you favors? - You never do me- [ Clears Throat ] Never mind. How'd you like to be my maid of honor? Do I get to pick out my own dress? I tend to draw the eye, so it's gotta be good. Absolutely. I mean, you know, I might make some suggestions, but- Oh, you know, I'm really swamped though. I'd need a lot of help. What do you think the bride is for? To make the maid of honor's life easier, right? [ Chuckling ] I mean, come on. Please. Aw. All right. Since you begged- - Okay. - I'll be your maid of honor. It's gonna be great. - [ Door Shuts ] - It's gonna be great. - ##[ Stereo: Classical ] - [ Slurping ] [ Gargles ] Whew. Hey, can I make a suggestion? Have you ever heard of""pee-not gree-gio''? It's this really nice white wine: It's very elegant. [ Slurps ] Mmm. - Now, your music is- - Yes. still pending, and, sadly, D.j. Humble is no longer available on that date. Oh? But he and I had a deal- in principle. Yes, well, one of my other brides outbid you. I can't give you her name, of course: That ***! Not you. No, a different one. A person. God, she's scary. - You don't think that Liv- - Yeah, I do. No. No. She knew how much that meant to me. - It's too cruel. It's too mean-spirited. - Too in character? Hang on. Wait. Didn't you tell me she's wearing a Vera ***? - Yes. - I read those run really tight... and she's kind of an ex-heifer. No. No, she's- She's- Little bit. Mmm. Oh! That is good. Excellent. Is that like cream cheese? It is cream cheese. Like a hint. [ Inhales ] - Has Emma chosen her cake yet? - Let's keep to our own work, shall we? Now, as for the flowers, Eufloria has put in a bid. We just can't have the same cake, that's all. And I have to have the seven-tiered... white chocolate-curl torte, enrobed in marzipan with edible pearls and flourishes. Well, you're safe. Emma has chosen a less extravagant cake. And she's always saying that she doesn't need... to impress people with how much she can spend. - I'm just going to check my ice sculptor Rolodex. - Right. Oh, my God. That was a dig at me. Emma thinks I'm showing off? I never thought she resented how much money I made, but I guess I was wrong. Really? I didn't get that from what she- Marion's eating it up. [ Sniffs ] [ Exhales ] She likes Emma best. Emma always gets the sympathy vote. I never get the sympathy vote, do I? Well, maybe it's asking a little bit too much of people- I was worried about her cake. It could be two Ding-Dongs and a Yodel for all I care. What's that? What's that? Don't- [ Liv ] Dance lessons? Damn, she's competitive. Their dance is totally gonna be better than ours. Let me see Canary Song again. Dandelion. Canary. - Isn't there something in between? - Sort of like a burnt Canary. Video montage of their lives? Really? - It's gotta be Fletcher's idea: - That's just- It's gonna be, like, pictures of them as babies. You know, Emma with one tooth... and Fletcher in his little superhero outfits. It's tacky. - [ Knocking ] - Can I help you? - Yeah. Delivery for Liv Lerner. - That's chocolate. I'll take that. Mmm. Looks good. ""Liv, you deserve this and more.'' Isn't Daniel the sweetest? - I'll just have one. - Thanks. Just one. - W-Was she up there? - Yeah. - Oh. And it's impossible to go get them back? - No, no, no, no. She ate half the box already, lady. Forty-five dollars. Yes. Okay. That is the agreed upon- But just so you know- [ Chuckles ] if you heard what was actually going on, you would totally side with me. - You gonna tip me? - I thought that was including tip... but anyway, I'll give it to you because I'm the Paula. You know, I've been thinking. - If you really want to mess with Emma's first dance- - Mm-hmm? - There are ways. - Tell me more. I don't know, baby. Dance class? Come on. We know how to dance. It's a slow dance. It's like we did in college. It's a waltz. It's a little more precise than just holding each other up. And besides, Marion says that our first dance... - introduces our couple style to the world. - Oh, well, naturally... - I'm incredibly concerned with our couple style. - [ Door Opens ] SpaceI [ Laughs ] I am Ricky Coo... the Doctor of Dance. I bring you motion. I bring you rhythm. I bring you sex: Rlease, get on your feet, and let's danceI - [ Man On Stereo ] # Y'all ready for this? # - ##[ Techno-Rop Dance Beat ] [ Both Panting ] Maybe Marion shouldn't be recommending Ricky Coo, Doctor of Dance so much. Yeah. I don't know about Ricky. [ Man ] Good for you: Doing warm-ups: Yeah, I got your voice mail saying you wanted to push the lesson from 1 :00 to 4:00. How long have you been here? Oh, my God. [ Scoffs ] - What? - Liv. - Uh,just give us a second. - [ Fletcher] I mean, who does that? She's finally gone completely crazy. Not that I'm surprised at all. - I mean, she's always been nuts. - I know. And messing with our couple style? - There is no way I'm letting her get away with that. - Good. - [ Groans ] - You know who I feel sorry for is Daniel. [ Snorts ] He's not even gonna be able to control his own wife. What? - No, I'm just saying- It's Liv. Because she never thinks about- - And? - I'm going inside. - What? [ Marion Narrating ] The final month before the big day is a litmus test for couples::: ofhow they work together, solve problems, communicate: The early, happy glow is over, and the nerves begin to set in: With some couples, it brings out the fundamental conflicts in their relationship: With other couples, the lucky ones::: it highlights the essential harmony of their partnership: Of course, even the luckiest bride needs something to take the edge off: Ooh, for me! Ajolly Walrus cookie bouquet. Is Daniel a keeper or what? I'd just be careful. Miss *** is a stern mistress. Video montage- If there's gonna be live pictures and, like, video footage- I know. It's, like, verging on being a digital short. I don't know how they're gonna cut me out of the footage. I'm in everything. Oh, this came for you via messenger. I can't wait to get into this one. Mr. Simmons called again asking for the update on the agreement. - Rutherford Rress? That's my hometown. - I'm just gonna take this. Suppose I should just tell them you're dealing with a crisis? Oh, my God. They still print engagement announcements. I'm sort of like a celebrity back there, probably. You know, it's like, local girl makes good. Such sweet people. - Oh, wow! - What the? That's not you: Is it? Emma looks gorgeous. - But not on the inside, which is- - Kevin. It's the best she can do, huh? - So lame. She wants to play dirty? I can play dirty. - [ Dial Tone, Beeping ] You can play dirty. I've seen you do it. I went to law school, people. I'm starting to think that 30 is the cutoff. - Mmm. - Because it's the last time men want to date women their age. A 30-year-old guy will date a 30-year-old girl. But a 3 5-year-old guy wants someone 30. A 40-year-old guy wants someone 30, too, or 28. - Mm-hmm. - It's a terrible planet. I know. You know what I was wondering? What are the real reasons behind Emma and Fletcher having to tie the knot? Why can't they change their date? Think about it. - She's pregnant! Emma's pregnant! - [ Chuckles ] Oh, no. [ Groans ] - Oh, no! - Liv? - Are you all right? What the hell is goin' on? - [ Groaning ] Look, let me inI I gained five pounds. Five pounds. It might as well be 50! The dress doesn't fit! And if the dress doesn't fit... my wedding's gonna be a big black hole in the history of the Plaza! Well, "A it's our wedding, hon: And ""B... so what? Let it out. You don't alter Vera *** to fit you. You alter yourself to fit Vera. - What do boys learn in school? - Sorry: It's not the end of the world: Really. What-What-What can I do to make you feel better? It's what you can stop doing. This is all your fault. - It's sweet of you to send me those treats, but I- - What treats? You know, the treats. The Truffle-opolis. The truffle tray. Thejolly Walrus cookie bouquet? International Butter Club? The- Honey- [ Chuckles ] I didn't send you any of that. Oh, my God, Emma! She's trying to make me fat so I can't fit into my dress! What is that? What is that? The International Butter Club? You mean, you've actually been sitting around... eating sticks of butter from different lands? [ Marion Narrating ] The final week before the wedding is do-or-die: I expect my brides to be flawless: Rerfect hair, skin, nails, everything: [ With English Accent ] Hello there. I need to get to the back really fast. Really, really fast, because I left something there yesterday. - It's very important that I- - I so don't care. Go on back. - Miss Allan: - Oh, hi. Hi. Bit of Honey today? That's the one I loaded. Yes, but, uh,just a pre-wedding glow. - Sure thing. - Okay, thanks. [ Woman ] in time you'll see # on your parade # Wow! What happened to you? You look like a traffic cone: Will it fade? Sort of:[ Whispers ] This is three loofahs: Is it that bad? Fletch said he didn't think it was that bad. Oh, well, honey, ""Filch'' is your fiance. He probably told you you had nice hair too. [ Liv ] This wedding stuff is not a walk in the park: - For sure: - I'm surprised: I don't know: I'm surprised I haven't been, you know, sent into my therapist's office. That's what I've heard. T-U-F-F. You should have heard me on the phone the other day... - talking to the guy who messed up my centerpieces. - Oh, gosh. It was unbelievable. It's like one thing after another, every single time. - It snowballs. - Listen, can I get a little bit more lowlight? Yeah, especially right here. Hold that thought, sweetie. I'm gonna get your color. Just make sure it's not so- Like, more gold base. on your parade # over you # - Maybe I should take up chanting. -##[ Continues ] I think it's kind of- might be necessary at this time of my life. - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God. Is it good? Great! I get to do noth- [ Gasps ] Okay. I-I don't know what happened. Um- I gotta let it sit for a day or two. Maybe I'll try to strip it down to white. My hair's blue! It's blue! I have blue hair! - I'm getting married in a week. - Congratulations. In a week! A week! Come on. I know you're in here. Ah, here's your video montage. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Fletch? Bug? Do you have something you need to tell me? - Um- - Are we about to have a little orange baby? Apparently we're registered at Babies R Us: Isn't that nice? Marissa. Where are you? I can barely hear you. I can't believe you told Emma. Whatever. You guys, don't get too attached to the dancers. They're paid to be nice to you. - Yeah! - #New York and japan # Hello, bride! [ Deejay ] All right, all right: Now a little birdie has just told me::: that we have a bride-to-be in the house tonight. - Over here! - But she has been a very bad bride: Officer Not-Your-Husband is here to arrest youI - #And I do my little turn on the catwalk ## - You're under arrest... for being too sexy. Time to be frisked. Oh, my goodness! Great! We got two brides in the house tonight! [ Women Cheering ] [ Deejay ] Whoa: Whoa, whoa: Hold upI We have two brides in the house tonight. Emma, this party is invitation only. I'm getting married too, baby! [ Deejay ] Well, I'll invite you right up there: - Dj jazzles invites bride number two up on stage: - Why not? Come on up here, girlI We want to see the way you moveI That's what I'm talking aboutI Work it out, girlI You can't even let me have my own bachelorette party? Much the way you couldn't let me have Dj Humble. That was low, Liv. By the way, did you hear? I'm not pregnant, okay? I say it's time for a dance-off. Dance-off!. Dance-off!. Dance-off!. Dance-off!. Dance-off!. [ Cheering ] - #Coming home intoxicated # - Oh! Oh! - #I say I just want to love you # - [ Woman ] Come on, LivI - Aw, come on, Liv. - Come on, bride number one: - I know y'all can do better than that. - #Give it to me, baby # Sprockets! [ Women Cheering ] Break it downI Now the sexiest bride takes first prize: Let's see itI - ##[ Hip-hop ] - We gonna get this party started,y'allI ShowdownI Space! [ Deejay ] Check out bride number twoI Look at 'em droolin'# I keep 'em movin'# It's all right now # the whole night now # Yeah, drink that up, man # Well, that was the plan # Wasn't ready for this # No, I'm talkin'bout Swiss # - [ Cheering ] - # Why would you try # from the hood to Dubai # Bride number two,you are the sexiest bride of the night, baby: Give it up for bride number two,y'allI Sorry, bride number one: Can't win 'em all, girl: It's weird, losing. I gotta say I'm not loving it. No, but you were both so good. Yeah, you really got up there, and you tried. - Forget it. It's my bachelorette party, right? - Yes. - [ Shutter Clicks ] - Good girl. Here you go. It's like you read my mind. [ Car Alarm Honking ] [ Gasps ] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Taxi! Taxi. Kevin. Kevin. I need coffee. Excuse me. I need coffee. I need three Advil. Yeah. Four waters. Get a splash of that Kahlua next to wherever that paralegal is. - Hey, Elana. - Good morning. - You work too hard. I'm gonna treat you to lunch. - Okay. - Where are you, Kev? Are you in the office? - I hear you coming. Liv? - Liv, blue! Hair! - Hey, Advil. - [ Whispering ] You have blue hair! - [ Gasps ] [ Whispering ] Oh, my God. I totally forgot. I was supposed to get it dyed back at 7:00. I think it's very- It's gonna be- They're gonna love it. I got it. I'm gonna figure it out. If we could all refer to the briefs I've drawn up: I've highlighted a few main points: Our discovery process in depositions and document requests- maybe you guys could share that one- has yielded significant results. W-W-Wait. Okay. I am looking at the brief dated two weeks ago. - Where is the latest version? - I could have sworn that I updated these. Just a second. Your hair. Yes, my hair. My hair... is blue! My hair is blue. My wedding's in a week, and I'm paying my maid of honor. Okay? Or rather Mr. Colson is. And,yes, maybe I misplaced the briefl: And, yes, maybe my best friend in the world forever hates me! Hates me! [ Gasps ] Oh, my God. [ Sobs ] I'm gonna be a bald bride. It's so not ideal. This is who's representing us? Not anymore. Miss Lerner's off the case. I'm taking over. No, now look, calm down. I'm gonna get it dyed back. - [ Sighs ] - Miss Lerner. You are excused. [ Sniffs ] I'm not this girl. I just don't screw up: I just don't get demoted: It's like I don't have anybody. I feel so alone. Hey. Babe, I'm right here. [ Sniffs, Sighs ] You miss your friend, especially now. She'd know just what to say. [ Sobs ] I'm mad at her too. She went for the hair. Girlfriends don't do that. You'll fix it. And if you can't, I love it. I do. You're like this very tall, very hot Smurf. [ Chuckles ] Oh, honey. It's not just about the hair. I'm mad because maybe she's right. And it's exhausting having to try to be perfect all the time. That's how I held it together ever since I was a kid. I figured nothing- nothing bad would happen again if I was just... one step ahead of everything and everybody, all the time. - [ Sighs ] - Life isn't perfect, hon. It's messy. You're right. I mean, I was gonna be perfect for you... but now that you say it's impossible- Hey. No, you don't. No, you don't have to be perfect. I've always wanted a human wife. Yeah, the other ones are just... too hard to inflate. - Hey. - Hey. - Almost back to normal, huh? - I know, right? I have, like, one layer of skin left, but that should be okay for our wedding. So, oops, sorry, Liv. I wish I had pictures: You know? It's like I was up there, and there's this spotlight, and when I hit that rope- - Oh, my God! - Hey! Enough, enough, enough! I've heard this story 1 0,000 times, Emma: You've been acting a little wild lately. Okay? And I'm tired of it. So knock it off. Lately you've been very mad and tense and excited. You know what? I just don't know how to deal with this: - Uh-huh. - And quite frankly, you have me questioning whether or not... this is something about- to do with the wedding or if this is permanent. Um, well, Fletcher, it is kind of permanent. You know? It is possible that I might be mad or tense or excited more than once in the next 40 years. Is it? Really? You know what? You're doing it right now. - What? - You're being, not, I mean, not ***, but- I said ""not ***.'' But you're right there in that neighborhood. You should have the cab, like, take a U-turn... drop you off at Pleasant and Nice, where we met. Are you upset because of this thing with Liv, or because I'm having feelings? - Totally: - Because it's kind of hard to read you. My God! That's totally it. I'm upset because you have feelings. You nailed it. Okay. So in other words, then don't have so many feelings, but if I do, don't show 'em. - I shouldn't have so many- - Oh, God! I can't even talk to you right now! You haven't tried yet. Do you realize- Do you know how hard this is for me? - I don't even know who you are: - You have not even tried to ask me about how I'm feeling. - I'm so confused. - I don't even know who you are: All right? I don't want to talk: It's a tense time: We're fine: Whatever: I was gonna go to the gym: Bye. [ Woman ] since you left me # - Emma? - # The closed blinds in my home # - Emma! Emma! - #See no light of day # to hear the radio # - [ Rings ] - #Coffee stains on your favorite book # - [ Drill Whirring ] - Liv Lerner's office. Hey, Kevin. It's Emma. Is Liv there? I'm sorry, can you hold on? Just a minute, I- Sorry. It's my worst nightmare. I'm ""cubicle-ized.'' I'm sorry, Liv's dealing with a crisis right now. Can we return? Fine. That's- Yeah. Okay, I get it. Bye. - Hey! I'm sorry. Who is this? - #I'm scared to face another day # - Hello? - # 'Cause the fear in me just won't go away # Hey! Hi! - How are you? - Long time, huh? - I know. It's my fault. I've been really busy. - Oh, yeah. Right. Busy. Nothing to do with the fact that I'm the brother of your archenemy. I mean, best friend. Hey! I have to rent a tux. You're coming with me. Come on. - Um, okay. - Come on. I'm a little surprised. I would have thought a big magazine writer would have his own tux. How you doing, Em? Hmm? How you feeling? Um, feel fine. Fine's not really a feeling though. Fine's a feeling. ""I feel fine.'' You could say that. People say that. Yeah, sure. You can say that. Okay. It's, like- [ Sighs ] Things are crazy with the wedding. And there are all these details and... I don't know. I had this idea of how it was gonna be in my head, and- - And it's not as much fun as that. - Mm-hmm. [ Crying ] And I don't know why. But mostly, I am fine. [ Sighs ] Let's fix your tie. I can't look at a tie like this. - Yeah. Change the subject. - This doesn't look right without a tie. I'm gonna go with a clip-on 'cause I can't figure this out. - You have no patience. - Really? Mm-mmm. Kind of think I wait around too long. Hey, let me buy you a cup of coffee. Oh, um, I-I can't. I'm late for, um- But I'll call you. Um, when I'm not-You-That- You look, um, you look really- You're gonna make a very handsome bride ""giver-awayer.'' Thank you. And, Em, you're gonna make a beautiful bride. Really. - Yeah? - Yeah: I always thought so: Thanks. Bye. [ Snoring ] [ Marion Narrating ] Despite it all, when morning broke on that sixth ofjune::: it was the perfect day for a wedding: Well, two weddings: T-minus three hours, people. Guard your camps, execute your duties, and we may make it out of here alive. Incoming, people. Roses for Lerner. Peonies for Allan. - Has the Allan officiant reported for duty yet? - Yes, he has. - Linens for Lerner? - Yes: Excellent. Let's move, people. This is not a dress rehearsal. Amazing. You can't even see the blue anymore. - [ Sighs ] - [ Knocking ] Oh, Liv. My God, you're the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. [ Sighs ] Thank you. - [ Beeps ] - Oh, uh, excuse me a sec. She's so weird. God, I'm so nervous. I don't know why. - Is the veil supposed to go like that? - Yes. Why? Oh, no. You look fine. You know, honestly, the pressure we put on brides these days to look perfect. It's just ridiculous. You don't have to look your most beautiful on your wedding day. Okay, everybody? Mom! [ Chuckles ] You know, if you want my opinion- You know what, Deb? I don't. I don't want your opinion. Wh-What? Deb, I have been dealing with versions of you my whole life... and I'm gonna tell you something... that I should've told myself a long time ago. Sometimes it's about me, okay? Not all the time, but every once in a while it's my time. Like today. If you're not okay with that, feel free to go. But if you stay, you have to do your job: And that means smiling and talking about my bridal beauty... and, most importantly, not making it about you. Okay? Can you do that? Yes, I'd like to. Then we're good. Harpist is Allan. Quartet is Lerner. How many times do I have to repeat myself? [ Clears Throat ] - Check on the grooms' status and man your battle stations. - Okay. If you're about to jump ship from one wedding... let someone else know so we can create a diversion. - Okay. - I'm going to Liv's ceremony and Emma's reception. More ***. I'm gonna do a quick head count of the hot drunk single guys and then choose. - Good call. - Allan. Lerner. - Hey, Mr. Allan. How are you? - [ Chuckles ] - I'm good, bud. How're you? - Big day, huh? Yes. Yes, it is. I caught a glimpse of Emma when I was scouting out the enemy camp. - [ Chuckles ] - She is beautiful, sir. Thank you, Nathan. Listen, you think I could have a word with your sister? - Not about the-the fight, about something else. - Oh, yeah. Sure. [ Women Chattering ] - Liv. - [ Chuckles ] Hi! Mr. Allan! Oh, Liv. Wow. Your mom and dad would be so proud. - Thank you. - Of both of you. - Thank you. - Thanks. I just want to pass on a blessing from our generation. Not just from myself but from... f-from my dear friends who would've given anything to be here today. - Good luck, sweetheart. - Oh. - Nate. - Mr. Allan, thank you. - Good to see you. - All right. You too. Such a good man. Emma's so much like him. So, according to Ms. St. Claire, you are allowed one weak nip... before the wedding, to sort of steady the nerves. - So we have scotch- - Okay. Scotch is good. We have *** and tequila. Tequila, tequila? Tequila! Tequila! - Kevin! Tequila. - Tequila's so ***. - No, no, no. Kevin. Kevin, listen to me. - You don't even like tequila. You take this to Marion. You tell her I switched the DVD's. She needs to play this when Emma walks down the aisle. I thought we were rising above this sort of thing. We are, which is why I need you to do this for me right now. Hurry! [ Sighs ] You'll thank me one day. - [ Knocking ] - I'll go get that. - That's very helpful. - Okay: Thank you. Oh, my God. It's your parents. Come on in: Look, isn't she a bridal beauty? She sure is: Oh, my gosh: - Oh, wow, Mom. - Oh, my God! Is that my dress? - [ Chuckles ] - Are you happy? I'm happy if you're happy. Sweetheart, you could get married in a brown paper bag, I wouldn't care. This is your day. Oh, boy, I need a tissue. - Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry. - You're gonna screw up your makeup, honey. I found this when we moved to Boca, and I saved it. - Dad. What is it? - I knew there'd come a day to give it to you. Go ahead: Open it: In case you need something old or blue. It's really Liv's. Well, something borrowed then. Daddy, I need to see her. - I think she feels the same way. - [ Knocking ] I'll get that. Oh, it's Marion. Uh, places, people. We're on in two. Marion, could I just run down the hallway for a second? Emma, you are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Ready. - Bride one, walking. Bride one, walking. - Oh. - # Who dreamed of a little home for me # - It's time. between the trees # bark and leaves # my pretty bed of green # [ Man ] Ma'am: - Oh, my God. - Okay. Okay. - I'm getting married. - Yeah. Are you happy? Uh- [ Walkie Beeps ] When I get visual confirmation on bride one walking::: give video a five count and roll. - ##[ Harpist Rlays ""Bridal Chorus''] - And ready: Walk: [ Emma's Voice] I'm in Acapulco, babyI Spring breakI I'm here with Miguel. [ Gasps ] I love spring breakI I want to danceI [ Women ] Go, EmmaI Go, EmmaI [ Women Cheering ] - I love being EmmaI - I- [ Screams ] We've been hit. Repeat, we've been hit. - [ Liv ] EmmaI - [ Screaming ] [ Liv ] Let me tell you something about that tapeI God, you swore! You swore you'd never show that to anyone. Just... let them go. Emma! Bring it on! [ Liv ] EmmaI I don't want to fightI - Let me just tell you something! - I don't want to fight! It's over. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore: [ Sighs ] Thank God. I'm fine. [ Reople Murmuring ] [ Whispering ] Emma, what the hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind? You just ruined our wedding. You happy now? Your friend? History. 'Cause she's a bad influence on you, and she always has been. Judging by that DVD, you're a lot more like her than I thought. - Good. I hope so. - What? Fletcher, you've been my friend for 1 0 years. I need you to be my friend now and tell me the truth. You're in love with a girl that you met 1 0 years ago. Hey, what's the matter with that? Huh? She's not here anymore. I don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting, Fletch. Or caving. Neither do you. We're different. We want different things. You know that's true, don't you? I knew. Good-bye. Oh, my God. Emma. I'm fine. This is all my fault. That video was never supposed to happen. I mean, it was supposed to happen, but I canceled it: I thought I did: 'Cause I could never do that to you. Emma, you're my best friend. Oh, this fighting is so dumb: I'm so sorry about everything. I'm sorry... too. I'm so sorry. If I ruined it for you, I don't want it anymore. If Fletcher and I were perfect for each other, then... we'd be getting married, and we're not. Are you crying? Yeah. It's like a whole new me. And I just- I cry all the time. - I'm kind of a basket case. - No, Liv, I didn't want that. I'm sorry. No. No, you were right. I don't have to have it constantly together all the time. It's like... this huge wake-up call. And I'm kind of stumbling around a little bit, but... I'm awake. Will you stand up there with me? Where else would I be? Reset, people. Reset. Oh, I almost forgot something. Oh, my God. Em? Where did you find that? Two little girls saved it for us. Come on. [ Laughing, Cheering ] Hi. - Hey. Are you single? - Uh, yeah. - Are you straight? - I don't like labels. So sorry to hear about your divorce. Why? It was only my first. And next time, I'm definitely getting married at the Plaza. I'm about to lose my mind # - # You made me so # - # Very happy # - Do you wanna dance? - Yes. - Let's go. - Okay. Um- No, baby. Baby, let it happen on its own. Uh-oh. Did I make a horrible mistake and marry someone who's smarter than I am? [ Marion Narrating ] It was quite a wedding: And as I stood there watching::: I realized something I'd forgotten a long time ago: Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken: Sometimes,you really can find that one person::: who will stand by you no matter what: Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding: But there's also the chance::: that the one person you can count on for a lifetime- the one person who knows you::: sometimes better than you know yourself- is the same person who's been standing beside you all along: - Wow! You look great. - Hello. Oh, my God. You look great. Well, how was it? How was the vacation? - It was amazing. - I want to know everything about it. Actually, I don't. You married my brother. That's weird. So I don't want to know anything, ever. Should we toast? To marriage? Um, actually, I'm not drinking. Neither am I. [ Together] Are you pregnant? - When are- - Me too. March third. [ Together] When're you due? March third. - [ Shrieking ] - #Do you believe in love # - #I believe it's because I've tried # - #Do, do, do # 'Bout loving anyone # waiting on you # as you get the chance, baby # - #Love me # - #Love me, baby # - #Rlease # - #Do, do, do # - #Say you love me # - #Love me, baby # - #Rretty please # - #just once # - #I can imagine how # - #Do, do, do # - #See I can imagine now # - #Do, do, do # without burning up # - #Love me # - #Love me, baby # - #Rlease # - #Do, do, do # - #Say you love me # - #Love me, baby # - #Rretty please # - #Do, do # you wanna treat me so bad # you've ever had # - #just as soon # - #just as soon # - #just as soon # - #just as soon # - #just as soon # - #just as soon # - #just as soon # - #just as soon # - #Love me # - #Love me, baby # - #Rlease # - #Do, do, do # - #Say you love me # - #Love me, baby # - #Rretty please # - #Do, do # Rretty, pretty please #
 * 1) Got my dreams, got my life, got my love #
 * 2) Got my friends
 * 1) Why am I making this
 * myself #
 * 1) When there's so many
 * 1) Happy #
 * 2) Yeah ##
 * 3) [ Vocalizing ]
 * 1) Dance #
 * 2) Dance #
 * 3) Dance #
 * 1) I wish you well #
 * 2) I hope you survive #
 * 3) I hope you live on, baby #
 * 4) So I can watch you cry #
 * 5) 'Cause I know
 * 1) What you did to me #
 * 2) And you'll come runnin'back #
 * 3) I'm gonna rain
 * Oh, I won't take it again #
 * 1) And I'll keep raining, raining, raining #
 * 2) Over you #
 * 1) I'm gonna rain
 * No, I won't take it again #
 * 1) And I'll keep raining, raining, raining
 * 1) I'm a model, You know what I mean #
 * 1) You say I'm so crazy #
 * 1) I just wanna love you, baby #
 * 1) They be watchin'while we wiggle around
 * 1) They ain't used to this sound
 * 1) All my ladies put your hands in the air
 * 1) We gon'keep you up on your feet
 * 1) Rop them bottles
 * 1) Got you feelin'crazy
 * 1) They was waitin'for me
 * 1) He got the game sewed up
 * 1) We got 'em shakin'everything
 * 1) [ Techno Dance Rop ]
 * it!
 * 1) The blank pages of my diary #
 * 2) That I haven't touched
 * 1) Dust gathers on my stereo #
 * 2) 'Cause I can't bear
 * 1) The piano sits in a shady space #
 * 2) With a picture of your face #
 * 1) In an instant,you were gone #
 * 2) And I'm scared ##
 * 1) I was a little girl #
 * 2) Alone in my little world #
 * 1) I played pretend
 * 1) And fed my houseguests
 * 1) And laughed in
 * 1) I had a dream #
 * 2) That I could fly #
 * 3) From the highest swing #
 * 4) I had a dream #
 * 5) Ooh ##
 * 1) You treated me so kind
 * 1) You made me so very happy ##
 * 1) Yes, I believe in love #
 * 1) And if you know anything
 * 1) Somehow you got to be satisfied #
 * Oh, but don't go changin'#
 * 1) At least not for me, baby #
 * 2) I'm doin'what I gotta do, ooh #
 * 3) I'll be fine #
 * 4) Find a way to pass the time #
 * 5) While I sit here
 * Oh, listen #
 * 1) But as soon
 * 1) You've got to #
 * 1) Know it's hard out there #
 * 1) Who you are in here #
 * 1) Why can't reality #
 * 2) You don't ever have to be #
 * 3) Able to read my mind, ooh #
 * 4) I can hardly walk
 * 1) So I might as well start alive #
 * 2) just as soon as you get a chance #
 * 3) Darlin'#
 * 1) Why, tell me why
 * 1) When you know I love you #
 * 2) Darlin: don't you know #
 * 3) I'm giving you the best lovin'
 * 1) No one else for you #
 * Say, won't you come love me
 * Do, do, do #
 * 1) Said if you got the time, baby #
 * 2) Come and spend it with me ##