Joining The Cult


 * Adam: Hey, man. I'm joining a religious cult.
 * Allen: Now, that's ridiculous.
 * Adam: Well, I'm joining. So, you gotta sign up, too.
 * Allen: What are you talking about?
 * Adam: Hey, don't fuck me on this, man! Just sign up!
 * Allen: No, I'm not gonna join a cult!
 * Adam: I can't believe you're pulling this shit on me after Monday night.
 * Allen: What?
 * Adam: I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to watch that other show. And we watched your show. I did that for you!
 * Allen: Yeah? Well, you kept flipping back to the game.
 * Adam: I WANTED TO SEE THE FUCKING SCORE! What do you gotta do that's so fucking important? You can't join the religious cult with me!
 * Allen:
 * Adam: Oh, boy.
 * Allen:
 * Adam: He was rambling on during one of his speeches about the sun being bad.
 * Allen:
 * Adam:
 * Allen:
 * Adam:
 * Allen:
 * Adam:
 * Allen:
 * Adam:
 * Allen:
 * Adam:
 * Allen: Well, what's the hurry?
 * Adam: There's a girl I want to meet there! What the fuck's your problem!?!
 * Allen: I mean, I don't have to believe in this stuff. Do I?
 * Adam: No, no! Just... fucking tell everybody you believe in this shit. When they say the sun sucks go, "Yeah! Fuck the sun. I fucking hate it, too! Long live the fucking Beast!"
 * Allen:
 * Adam:
 * Allen:
 * Adam: It's gonna be a haircut, alright? You say you need a haircut, they gonna fucking cut your hair! You're going in saving twelve bucks, just fucking do it!
 * Allen:
 * Adam:
 * Allen:
 * Adam: Okay, that's up to you.
 * Narrator: Three weeks later.
 * Cult Members: The nighttime is the right time! The nighttime is the right time!
 * Adam:
 * Allen:
 * Adam:
 * Allen:
 * Adam: You're a good guy.
 * Allen: You're a better one.
 * Cult Members: The nighttime is the right time! The nighttime is the right time!