The new york experiANTs

1 I can't believe Mr. Grundy flew us to New York in his private jet! It was so awesome! Except for that crying baby. Hey, my ears were clogged up. Everyone! Welcome to the grand opening of my flagship z-store! First, the ceremonial ribbon cutting! Where are my comically large scissors? Ah. Sorry. I borrowed them to make these comically large paper dolls. Aw. They're holding hands, we're holding hands. And they're dolls and you're a doll. And he's nauseous and I'm nauseous. Okay, everyone. This is it. One Two Zee! Uh where are you going? It's a work day! What? We have to work here? And wear ugly shirts? Yes. Why pay employees when I can make my students unpaid interns? Welcome to the z-store. You will be zelling all my ztuff with a zmile! Zorry! Zee ya, zucker! Ooh, ooh doo, doo ooh, ooh doo, doo Whoo! Everybody's got that thing something different we all bring don't you let 'em clip your wings you got it you got it we're on fire and we blaze in extraordinary ways 365 days we got it we got it you can dream it you can be it if you can feel it you can believe it 'cause I am, you are, we are exceptional exceptional yeah, I am, you are, we are exceptional exceptional ooh, ooh, ooh ooh, ooh Whoo! Whew! Well At least I caught a few of you. Thank goodness! I'm going to need help handling the crowds. What crowds? Why isn't the store busier? I spent $20 million on advertising and promotion. Well, maybe you should have spent a little bit more on the "we're open" sign. Someone should be here. Where is everybody? Jack be quick, Jack be nimble the z-phone ain't nothin' but a status symbol let me school you gather 'round, my scholars, you're getting poor while they worth fitty billion dollars How could he say that? Z-tech is worth fitty-figh billion dollars. Angus, look what I found outside. Look what I found outside! I'm going to make a fortune! Well, this is even better! Well, for me. They're holding open video auditions for a new Broadway musical. Goldilocks! I'm perfect for it! Why? Because your legs are hairy and you growl a lot? I mean for goldilocks, not the bear! This is my big chance and Chyna cannot steal this from under me! If you whisper one word of this to her, I will maul you! Are you sure you don't want to audition for the bear? This is great. The New York museum of art has something for both of us. You can admire the paintings, and I can correct the people when they mispronounce the artists' names. Everyone, the museum is thrilled to present the latest masterpiece by Ikhagvasuren Balnamdolchoyjijantsan! Ugh! She pronounced it right! Oh, please. His work is so overrated. I don't know why anyone would like his Oh, my gosh! It's beautiful! Fletcher, are you okay? This painting. Something about it just Moves me to tears. You know it's not a real onion, right? I know, but the brush strokes, and the symbolism I'll never paint anything this good. I'm through with art! I might as well just become a plumber. Fletcher, don't be ridiculous. You can't just quit art to become a plumber. Plumbing is way harder. It takes skill. I'm a total failure! You're not a failure, Fletcher. First of all, you have a gorgeous girlfriend, who's way out of your league. And you can paint your own masterpiece. Really? You think so? I know so. Come on, let's go get you some art supplies and you can paint something way better than this Actually quite beautiful onion. Excuse me, sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. As you can see, this sign says, "no loitering. " I've been rapping on this corner long before there was a z-store here. If anyone is loitering, it's you. Do you know who I am? I think so. Yo, yo, check it it's the real z. Grundy he'll sell you fancy phones for three or four hundy. I'm chiseled like a rock you're like a water bed I rap all day while you eat banana bread you think you can beat me? You've been misled I've won more battles than you got hairs up on your head Okay, that was some very hurtful flow. Hi, I'm Chyna. 'Sup? I'm Hudson. Listen, Hudson. I think you're very talented. But maybe you could find a different topic to rap about instead of telling people they shouldn't waste their money on anything in this store. No, it! Wa how may I be of zervice? Hmm, another topic to rap about? Yeah! I could do that. Great. Yo, yo, peep this prissy missy with the fancy shoes from the burbs, don't know what it's like to lose you cruise through life as some rich guy's daughter you probably only bathe in bottled water You know what? I'm tired of being nice. Why don't you just do us all a favor and go home. Maybe because I can't. What? You live this privileged life and just assume everyone else does, too. Well, guess what? I'm from the street. Hudson, I'm so sorry Look! Save it. You don't even know how to talk to someone like me. No, but I do. Mr. Grundy, what are you doing? If 'tis a rap battle he desires, then 'tis a rap battle he shall receive. Straight out of liverpool don't play me as a fool run my own school got a jet with a pool if you got any sense, you'll rap on another block 'cause I gots two hands, like a tickety-tickety clock Well, if you didn't want anyone to take it, you shouldn't have left it on the corner! Fletcher, this is This is beautiful. No, no, no, beautiful doesn't begin to describe it. It's it's stunning. Exquisite. In a word Zazow! Well, of course you like it. It's a painting by someone you love of someone you love even more. But, I'll never be as good as Ikhagvasuren Balnamdolchoyjijantsan. Why does everyone keep pronouncing it right? Come on, if this were hanging in a museum, people would think it's the best thing in the place. In fact, let's go over there and hang it up right now. What? How are we supposed to get that into the museum? What's with your shape? What's with your shape? Mr. Grundy! I thought of how to stop Hudson from hanging around outside of the store. Letting him hang around inside the store! Chyna! You hired him without asking me? Well, maybe you shouldn't have me, a 14-year-old girl, heading up your personnel department! Please, Mr. Grundy. Look, Hudson's had a tough life, but all he needs is someone to give him a chance. I will personally vouch for him. Hey, hey, check out how many of these I can juggle. Zero. I do not know how to juggle. Whoo. All right. If we're going to hang this painting, all you need to do is hammer this nail into the wall. Hammering's going to draw too much attention. I'll use this nail gun instead. Okay, but hurry. I'll keep the curator busy. Excuse me, ma'am, can I ask you a question? Well, that's what I'm here for. Can you help me pick up these toothpicks? I cannot believe what I'm seeing. Uh, I can explain You don't need to explain to me. I have a PHD in art history and this is the most cutting edge example of "installation art" I have ever seen! I mean, everybody does art about society's need to break down walls, but you nailed it! See? You gave Hudson a chance, and now he's attracting customers. He is a good sign spinner. Okay, Chyna's not looking. Let's record my "goldilocks" audition. I don't mind helping, but do I really have to be mama bear? Yes! The papa bear suit was too big on you and the baby bear suit was too small! This one's just right. Chyna's coming! Act natural! As you can see, Ms. Bear, the new z-pad has features that will simplify your life. Hmm? Ooh! Plus, you'll like this. It has a hibernation mode. Did you see that? Hudson just stole a z-phone! I'm with a customer. The z-pad cases come in a variety of colors. Including salmon. Hey, thanks for getting me this job, Chyna. Zee you tomorrow. Wait! I know what you're up to! I'm not up to anything! You stole a z-phone! What? All right, you caught me. I stole it. I don't have a rich daddy to buy me a phone! You have to return this! Once you delete all of these. Why are there photos of you and your family in Bermuda? I stole that family. And, uh, made them take me to Bermuda. Yeah. You're not from the street. Yes I am! My house is on a street. What street? Easy street. Why would you lie to me about who you are? Look, I'm a rapper. The best raps are about having nothing or having everything. There are no hit songs about a comfortable suburban upbringing. Look. I spend every night with a roof above me got a mom and a dad and they both really love me dad's an accountant mom's a Professor we all go to yoga it's the perfect de-stressor I can't believe you. You're a total phony. You know, the minute I met you, I knew you were all condescending, judgmental Pretty Did you just call me pretty? Uh I don't know what I'm saying. Mr. Grundy didn't give me a lunch break. I'm feeling a little lightheaded. I swear I saw a tap-dancing bear in a skirt. Yeah. Listen, you don't have to pretend to be something you're not to impress people. Especially me. You'll find your own voice. You just have to Do your own thing. Gotta lose control everybody knows feel it in your soul it's your own thing! Everybody is moving different way to do it throw your hands up lose it do your own thing rising like a tower independent power it is your finest hour do your own thing! Do do do do do do it do your own thing do do do do do do it do your own thing! Come on, gotta stand up for what you believe in gotta stay fresh as long you're breathing better get used to it we ain't leaving staring so hard looking like you're reading I got the gift of something, baby I'm doing me and I'm doing it daily this is my thing don't call me crazy when I say yes, I ain't ever hazy everybody is moving different way to do it throw your hands up, lose it do your own thing do your own thing do do do do do do it do your own thing do do do do do do it do your own thing! Do do do do do do it do your own thing do do do do do do it do your own thing Now, the song is called "do your own thing," not "do your thing in the middle of my thing. " Sorry, I thought I'm kidding. You were great. And I hope you get the message. You don't need to front. I like the real you. You know, you're pretty smart. Did you just call me pretty again? I think you pretty much hear what you want to hear. Hey, guys. Did we miss anything? Chyna sang a song. And Angus was dressed like a bear. No. Fletcher! Oh, no, it's the museum curator. She probably figured out that my wall damage wasn't really art. Don't worry. I got this. Ugh! That usually works! Fletcher, I've been going through your portfolio online. Your artwork is astounding! I'd like you to be the museum's artist-in-residence. Artist-in-residence? Wait. Is this a trick to get me to paint your house? No. It's a very prestigious fellowship. We want you to move to New York. What? What? See ya! You'd have a rare opportunity to work with the world's greatest artists. We've never offered this to a teenager before. Wow! What an incredible honor. I'm flattered. But I'm going to have to pass. What? Why? My life is in California with my family and friends. And most of all, the girl that I love. Well, I hope you're not doing this for me, because I was just about to break up with you. What? What? Yes! Look, it's not me. It's you. I don't really know why I was even dating you in the first place. If you moved to New York, I would not miss you at all. Olive? What are you doing? Moving on. And you should, too. Sorry, Fletcher. But "zazow" always ends in "ow. " But I don't think I've had enough "zaz" yet! I really like "zaz!" Well, this worked out. I'll start the fellowship paperwork. Angus, they texted me! They loved my video audition! I got the part! I'm goldilocks! Congratulations! I am also having a good day. Finally me, Lexi Reed, not Chyna Parks, is going to be the star of a Broadway musical! Actually, the flyer says it's off-Broadway. Wow, they weren't kidding. This alley is literally off Broadway. What a quaint little cottage in this beautiful forest! Oh, look, three bowls, and they're filled with porridge! All my life I've searched for something I've searched all day and night what are you doing? Get off my stage! And I finally found that something, that something just right This stinks! I beg to differ! Bravo! Bravo! You took the fellowship? So, you're really not coming back to the ant farm with us? Look, it's an incredible opportunity. And even my parents said I should go. I'm going to be living in Brooklyn with my grandma Dottie. Fletcher, not only are you my best friend, but I've loved being roommates with you this past year. And if you ever decide New York isn't for you, our room will always be there. Of course, your bed will be gone and replaced with a soft pretzel machine. I know. You did that two months ago. Fletcher, you and I never got to know each other that well back at school. Thank you for that. You're welcome? Hey, whoa. I barely know you. Fletcher, since the day you showed up at my house in a top hat and monocle, I knew I wanted you to be my friend forever. I can't believe we're saying goodbye. I don't care where I am, you're always going to be a part of my life. I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for you. What do you mean? When you first arrived at the ant farm, I was this scared little kid. And you were so confident and fearless. You made me not be afraid. And now, I'm moving to New York! By myself. I really don't know how I'm going to do it without you. Oh, don't worry. You'll find another girl to obsess over for years and then completely forget about so you can date her best friend. You know, I never thought Olive and I would get together, but on we dice I'd never felt anything so real. I guess I was the only one who felt that way. I think that garbage can is crying. I really should have given myself a lunch break today. Olive? What are you doing in here? Just making sure Fletcher really leaves because I hate him so much. Wait. Did you break up with me just so I wouldn't miss this opportunity? Maybe. Thank you, Olive. I love you, too. There's grandma Dottie. Whoa! Grandma Dottie is grandma hottie. She's actually my step-grandmother. My grandpa Zeke was loaded. So she's a widow who likes wealthy men? Maybe I'll move to New York. Nah. I'd miss you guys too much. Man, it's weird being in the Ant Farm without Fletcher. Yeah. You doing okay? Yeah. I mean, I miss him, But I guess it'll be just us single ladies now. We should do pretty well. I'm zazow! And you're Zaz-okay. Well, I'm cool with some girl time. Just me and you. Ooh, man. This school is on point! Do you guys have a yoga studio? Hudson? What are you doing here? Z-money asked me to join the school. And my new rap label, zip zop. Whoa, whoa, whoa. A rap prodigy? Doesn't that kind of step on someone else's territory?