Give Me A 'K'! Give Me A 'C'!

Ta-da! Wow, what is this for? Do I need a reason to give you a gift? You know me better than anyone in the whole entire world. So why would you get me pom-poms? You're right. Dumb idea. Unless here's a thought just off the top of my head. What if you and I tried out for, hmm, I don't know, the cheerleading squad on Saturday in the south gymnasium at 1:15? Approximately. Try out for cheerleading, huh? Give me an N, give me an O Do you see where I'm going with this? Are you spelling "no thing can keep me from trying out on Saturday in the south gymnasium with my best friend Marisa"? All right, fine. Think it over. No pressure. Now what does Marisa want? Hi, Judy. Can you come out to play? No, I'm not available today, or tomorrow or next year. Check back in 1,000 years. I'll still be here. Will you? Why did you just do that? I'm not playing with that eight-year-old bag of flesh. As a 16-year-old bag of flesh, I find that a tad offensive. Look, I know you're a robot, but you need to start acting like a kid. Or at least not a crusty old sailor. Sometimes, when you wanna keep friends, you need to do what they want to do. Oh, I guess that explains why you're cheerleading with Marisa. Oh, I hate it when you're right. You'll get used to it. I keep it undercover. I keep it undercover. Honey, you almost done with that new employee paperwork for the organization? Yeah, you'd think a professional spy organization would know my phone number. Lookin' good. Lookin' good. Lookin' Hmm. Hmm? What hmm? Oh, nothing, just a little thing I noticed. That "in case of emergency contact," you spelled my name wrong. You put K-i-r-a Cooper, when I believe the correct spelling is C-r-a-i-g Cooper. Dad, are you actually upset that I picked Mom over you? Oh, please. I could care less. Technically, you could care less, 'cause you seem to be caring a lot. Don't you be silly. You go on and have a great day, and enjoy that lunch I spent an hour making that your mom didn't. Craig, you got a little something on your Oh, never mind. It's just jealousy. Excuse me. Get real, honey. You treat Ernie like a second-class citizen, but the moment you're chosen second, you fall apart like a cheap watch. Oh, hey. That was five anniversaries ago, and I said I'm sorry. The dude said it was real. Look, I ain't got time to be discussing all of this. I gotta go make things right with my boy. Oh, K. C., you showed up. Of course I did. I'm so psyched to be here. I cannot wait for these obnoxious mean girls to tell me I'm not pretty enough, peppy enough, or good enough to be on their squad. I'm suddenly getting the feeling that you're just doing this to please me, and that pleases me. Get ready for the mean girl banquet, and I have a feeling we are the main course. Welcome! Way to be here. That shows a ton of confidence, and that's the number one thing a spirit ambassador needs. Our job is to help empower our team, but not just our team. Everyone in the entire school. Heck, if we can, let's make this world a better place to live in while we're at it. Who's with me? You see? Pure evil. Hey there, how's my pride and joy? I don't know. She stayed after school to practice cheerleading. No, I'm talking about my favorite son. I'm your only son. Oh, don't get bogged down in the details. I just wanna spend a little quality time with you. So what you think? Football? Basketball? Baseball! I don't do well with objects that fly through the air. They have a funny way of finding my head. That's because I don't take you to the batting cages enough. Baseball, it is. High five. Yeah, we gonna work on that. I love checkers, don't you? Sure. Who doesn't love an exercise in elementary strategy? Vapid simpleton. Good game! But we didn't finish. I calculated the rest of the moves in my head, ran the odds, and you win. But you never even jumped me. All right, have it your way. Are you happy now? Blades, buckets, candlesticks. Blades, buckets, candlesticks. Hey, Marisa, I think I dropped my candlestick on the ground. Would you do me a favor, pick it up and hit me over the head with it? You guys are doing great! Now, let's take a quick break. But if we take a break, who's gonna make the world a better place? Are you sure you're gonna have time for cheerleading, what with being the leader of the sarcasm squad? Look, Marisa, I'm sorry, okay? I just I don't get this. What's there not to get, because I thought this could be something we could do together. What do you mean? We are always together. Are we, K. C. ? When was the last time we had a hot dog-less hot dog? On a stick? It just seems like lately, I never see you because you're always busy doing I don't know what, 'cause you won't tell me. Marisa, that is not always true. Really? You didn't show up to Becky's party last weekend like you said you would. You didn't come to the movies with everyone on Sunday afternoon, like you said you would. And you didn't come to the library the other night to help me study, like you said you would. So I just thought if we did this cheerleading thing, we'd at least get to spend some time together. Marisa, I am so sorry, okay? I had no idea that you felt this way. It's just that I have been so busy with You know what? It doesn't even matter what I've been busy with, because your friendship is the most important thing to me, and I'm going to make it up to you, okay? Starting right now. All right. Go, team! Starting right now. You can do this, K. C. Okay. Blades, buckets, candlesticks. Blades, buckets, candlesticks. Oh, hey, Mom. Whose mom? My mom. You da bomb. Go, Mom! Actually, when it comes to disabling bombs, I am the bomb. What's up with the pom-poms? I'm trying out for the cheerleading squad. That doesn't sound like you. Doin' it for Marisa. Now that sounds like you. K. C. Being a cheerleader is a huge time commitment, and I don't know if you should be juggling so many things. Remember that street performer we saw? Never should've added that fourth chainsaw. Look, I know it's a lot, but it seems like ever since I started being a spy, I always have to I never have time to just She's my best friend, and I really don't wanna lose her. Come here. I get it, sweetheart. It's not easy. And here's the bad news. It doesn't get any easier. What kind of pep talk was that? I'm assuming you were never a cheerleader. K. C. , I love you. And I don't want you being a spy to get in the way of you being a kid. So if you're feeling like it's too much No, no. I can handle it all, and I know that I can. Well, if you think you can, then I think you can, too. And, as far as me never being a cheerleader Blades, buckets, candlesticks, whoo! Wow, Mom. That's right. I still got it. But I think I broke it. Help me. Easy. Think fast. I'm sorry. But it's like your head has its own gravitational pull. I'm starting to think football may not be my game. In fact, I'm starting to think games may not be my game. Oh, that's because I haven't taken you out to play basketball yet. We're gonna go down to the park, and we're gonna shoot some hoops. - Yay! - Yay! Aw, isn't this great? Just you and me. Aren't I a great dad? Before you answer that, have you noticed I've hardly spent any time with K. C. this week? Yeah. That's right. Oh, hey, Mateo. Sorry I didn't come over. But my dad forced me to hang out with him. Again. Every day this week, it seems like he's throwin' some new object at my head. I know, but it's been horrible. I think I liked it better when he just left me alone. Marisa, I think I got it. This modified basket toss double back is going to guarantee us a spot on the squad. Or in the hospital. This is too hard. Ever since I've started practicing, it's like my skin has been crying. It's called sweat. It's called gross. No, no. Marisa, remember, it's fun. I got spirit, yes, I do. I got spirit, how about you? I've got back pain and a creepy feeling I'm growing muscles. I quit. No. No, Marisa, you cannot quit. Okay? We need this. This is our thing, and we need a thing, because if we don't have a thing, then we have nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Okay, fine. Fine. I'm on board. But could you let go of my arms, 'cause I'm starting to feel nothing. Nothing, nothing. Kids. Rough day, Agent Craig? Judy, you know you can call me Dad, right? Okay. Rough day, Agent Dad? Yeah. It's Ernie. We played basketball, baseball and football. All the things I used to love to do with my dad. But Ernie hated every minute of it. Well, from what I've learned about human interpersonal relationships, sometimes you have to do what the other person wants to do. Even if it makes you wanna pull the circuits right out of your face. Anyway, what does Ernie like to do? Well, he's always, uh Well, I know he really likes to I think I saw him one time do Man. I really do need to bond with this kid. I'm having trouble bonding with a little eight-year-old. Thanks for asking, Dad. All right? Yeah. Okay. Now my turn. - Come on. - Rub-a-dub-dub. Hello. Now? I understand. - We're on it. - Oy! K. C., Ernie, Judy. We have a last-minute mission at the airport. Load the van now. K. C. , come on, let's go. Mom, today is the cheerleading try-outs. I cannot bail on Marisa. The most important part of the modified basket toss double back is kinda the double part. Honey, I told you, it doesn't get any easier. These are the tough choices we have to make as spies. But if I don't show up for Marisa, it could ruin our friendship. And if I don't go with you guys on the mission, something bad could happen. Mom, can't you just tell me what to do? I can't, sweetie. I'll support you whatever you decide. This is your decision to make. Really? You've been telling me what to do for 16 years, and the one time I really need it, you got nothin'? Okay, I have a visual on you guys. Can everyone hear me? Ah-choo! Bless you. I guess everyone can hear me. Our mission is to stop enemy agents from retrieving a piece of luggage in the international cargo hold. Inside is a flash drive with the location of our European safe houses. If that drive gets into the wrong hands, the safety of all our international spies - is at risk. - I'll stall the targets. And I'll slip a tracking device in their pocket. Judy and I will slip into the cargo room and retrieve the bag. Glad you're here, honey. Thanks, Mom. I'm glad you're here, too. Uh, I was never not gonna come. I have a visual on the targets. It's time to bake the biscuits. What does that even mean? I'm trying to come up with a catchphrase. The guy in the van always has a catchphrase. Well, catch a new phrase. Dad, the targets are behind you. You know what to do. Ah! Oh. Never travel without one. Come on. Where's the fire? Little help with my shoe. Sorry about the socks, but my hammer toe cannot be contained. Oh, I am so clumsy today. I hope I get over it before I fly my plane. Come on. Let's just get in another line. They're on the move. Go to the tracking device. K. C. , the targets are heading your way. The biscuits are burning, the biscuits are burning! Enough with the catchphrases. Okay, we're in. Switch the Judy cam. Hey, Marisa. Look, I'm really sorry. Where are you? It's try-outs. I know. I forgot to call, and I'm really sorry, but I cannot make it. You can't make it?! You're bailing on me again? Hey, hey. The good news is, you didn't even want to be there, so you can just leave. Oh, just leave. Just leave, she says. Well, it's not that simple, K. C., and if you bothered to show up, you would know why. Uh, excuse me. Hi. How much longer is this gonna take? So after we're done, if it's okay with you, I was thinking maybe we could play one of those video games you like. I guess we could, if you're sure you want to. Well, I want to, if you want me to. I want you to if you want me to want you to. - Well, I want to - Oh, good grief. Ernie, your dad wants to spend more time with you. Craig, your son wants to spend more time with you. But you don't like to do the same things, and you're making each other miserable. Not to mention me. So why don't you make spying your way of hanging out and bonding? Oh, good. Because next step was bowling. I don't think my head could survive that. Aw, such a touching moment. Now can we get back to our mission? Got it! Green one on the upper level. The targets are almost upon you. You're running out of time. Repeat, running out of time. You know what? I think this calls for a modified basket toss double back. Quit bumping your gums and get up there! I plan on it. All right, cup your hands. Don't even think about it. Bucket, candlesticks, blades. That's right. Your biscuits just got burned. Hey, it is a good catchphrase. Hey. How's it goin'? What's goin' on? Whassup? You're still mad at me. Um, well, if you are, I don't blame you, and I'm really, really sorry. Will I at least be seeing you at lunch? I don't know. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll be sitting there patiently waiting for me, and I'll just decide not to show up with no explanation whatsoever, leaving you all alone to wonder what kind of a best friend I really am. Hey, we're talkin' again. Marisa, I, um I got you an apology gift. Would you at least open it, please? Oh, you know me better than anyone in the whole wide world, so why would you get me a book? It's a book full of friendship coupons. Hmm. Look. This one is for if you're ever in trouble, I will do whatever I have to to get you out of it. And this one is for if you're ever sad, I'll be there to hold your hand for as long as you need me to. And this one is the "just 'cause" hug. Because sometimes, you need a hug, just 'cause. And, um if you read the fine print, it kinda says "These coupons never expire. They're good for a lifetime of friendship. " Oh, I think I need one of those "just 'cause" hugs right now. May I see a coupon? Come here. Judy's new friend will make her cover much more believable. I gotta say, honey, great job in getting her to play like an eight-year-old. Hey, that's what big sisters are for. Ow, ow! Uh, Judy, what's goin' on out there? Playing hopscotch with Quinn. I thought I'd make the game a little more interesting by adding some lasers. You comfort the kid, I'll get the first-aid kit. How about I get the kit and you figure out what to tell the mom? Rob, your name's on TV.