Easter Basket

(cut to Fred and Barney in a sofa) FRED: Eh, Barney boy! This is the life!

BARNEY: You said it, Fred! An entire civilization, not wearin' underwear! Ya gotta love it! (Fred and Barney gives thumb up to each other)

(The door knocks.)

FRED: [Door knocks] Now who could *that* be?!

BARNEY: [laughing]

(Fred opens the door.)

FRED: Yeah?

MR. ROCK: Hi. I'm Mr. Rock from FedEx Stone. I got a delivery for Fred Flintstone from Amazon Boulder.com/pebble.

(Fred looks confused.)

MR. ROCK: [sighs] Look, sometimes the rock puns don't fit too well, buddy. Do you want the package or not?

(Mr. Rock closes the door and leaves.)

FRED: [reading the letter:] "Dear Fred, I hope this distracted you long enough. Signed, Barney. P.S., I invented paper. Bitchin'!"

(Fred looks over to Barney, who tries to sneak out with a box of Fruity Pebbles.)

FRED: BARNEY!!! MY PEBBLES!!!

(Fred gets to Barney, and tries to snatch the Fruity Pebbles away, but Barney manages to escape Fred with the cereal.)

BARNEY : [laughing] Ya can't catch me, Fred! [laughing]

(Fred tackles Barney, and starts punching him in the face. Barney grabs a club and hits Fred in the head with it. Fred falls down on the floor)

BARNEY: (laughs) Good one Fred, Good eh-

(Cut to Fred's corpse, blood pours out from his wounds)

BARNEY: Uh-Oh.

(Later on, Barney buries Fred's dead body in his backyard. Barney is using a bird as a shovel.)

BARNEY: Dammit, Fred. I just wanted some of your (fucking) cereal.

BIRD: Now his head always was full of rocks.

BARNEY: [gasps] A witness!

(Barney kills the bird and runs back into the house.)

BARNEY: Witnesses! The dishwasher!

OCTOPUS: My goodness Cretacious!

BARNEY: The record player!

BIRD: He's off his rocker!

BARNEY: The bidet!

TURTLE: Oh, man, the things, I've witnessed...

(The audience screams as Barney grabs the bird and pulls a pig's tail.)

PIG: Is he stone-cold crazy? You bet, Jurassic!

BARNEY: No more puns!

(Barney stuffs the bird into the pig's mouth.)

BARNEY: [laughing evilly, as the camera spins around him]

(Cut to Wilma and Betty returning home)

WILMA: So, he's trying to sell me a tampon, but I said, "It's just a rock!", and he says, "Well duh, EVERYTHING's a rock!"

BETTY: The nerve of some people.

Wilma & Betty: [gasp] OH MY GOD!!!

(The camera shows all of the dead animals, including Dino who is impailed on the wall with spikes, It then cuts to Barney killing the pig by stuffering something into it's mouth, chuckling evilly, in his other hand, he holds the turtle)

TURTLE: Oh lord, please don't stop him before he kills me.

(Cuts to a box of Fruity Pebbles, Barney is seen hanging in the gallows in the background)

Announcer: Fruity Pebbles are an important part of this complete breakfast.

(the gallow drops, killing Barney)

(cut to static)