A Very Tanner Christmas

[The opening teaser: In the living room, Jesse is busy hanging up the family's stockings on the mantle.]

Jesse: Okay, we got Nicky, Alex, D.J., Stephanie, and Santa's favorite little helper, Michelle.

Michelle: Jesse, I got a problem.

Jesse: Lay it on me, babe.

Michelle: [referring to her stocking] I don't know about that stocking.

Jesse: What's the matter with this stocking? It's a beautiful stocking. Look at it, it says 'Michelle'. It's a great stocking.

Michelle: It's okay, but this would be better. [She pulls out a homemade stocking that consists of a big red plastic gift bag bearing a big gold "M" on it (as shown in infobox photo).]

Jesse: Whose stocking is this, Bigfoot's?

Michelle: What can I say, I've been very good this year!

[He runs over, tickles her, and gives her a big kiss on the cheek.]

[All the presents have been opened.]

Michelle: That's it? No more presents?

Stephanie: Didn't a certain uncle promise us a perfect gift?

Stephanie & Michelle: Hmmm?

Jesse: Yes, he did.

Stephanie & Michelle: Yay!

Jesse: But it's not here...

[Stephanie and Michelle groan.]

Jesse: ...because it's too big.

Stephanie & Michelle: Yay!

Michelle: If it's an elephant, I'll call him Phil.

Danny: Sweetheart, if it's an elephant, it'll sleep in Joey's room. No, Uncle Jesse has something planned to show you the real meaning of Christmas.

Stephanie: All right! We're going to Toys R Us!

Jesse: Wrong are you.

Michelle: We won't miss the Christmas party, will we?

Joey: Oh, you'll be back in plenty of time to see me play Santa. I think I'm going to try a new 'Ho, ho, ho' this year. How about Jerry Lewis? 'Ho, ho, ho, lady! Fly-man!'

[Nobody laughs apart from Nicky and Alex.]

Stephanie: Uncle Jesse took us down to the shelter for homeless people.

Danny: I know. What’d you think?

Stephanie: There were so many people there. Not just grown-ups—kids, too.

Michelle: When I saw them, it made me feel sad.

Jesse: It’s okay to feel sad, Michelle. Those people are in a lot of trouble.

Stephanie: I’m sorry we went so present-crazy.

Jesse: Ah, it’s okay. I remember when I was your age. I bugged my dad for an jumpsuit.

Stephanie: Why?

Jesse: Oh, because I already had the helmet. Anyway, he took me down to the Salvation Army, and I’ll tell you something: it made me feel so good to see you guys’ faces today, because that’s exactly how I felt. And I never forgot that feeling. And I never want you guys to forget that feeling, OK? Merry Christmas, girls.

Michelle: Thanks for our Christmas present, Uncle Jesse.