The Tom and Jerry Cartoon Kit


 * Narrator: [first lines] Anyone can now enter the lucrative field of animated cartoons with the new Tom and Jerry Cartoon Kit. This kit contains everything needed for quiet, sophisticated humor: one mean, stupid cat; one sweet, lovable mouse; and assorted deadly weapons. The coffee and cigarettes are for the cartoonists. Just follow the simple instructions. First, put the sweet, lovable mouse into a simple situation expressing a natural human being, such as eating the slice of watermelon contained with our kit. The result may not make sense, but it will last long enough for you to be comfortably seated before the feature begins.


 * Narrator: [last lines] Our next film will be for the kiddies, and will demonstrate a new poison gas. Thank you and good night.