The Good, the Bad, and Casey Jones

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[Car alarm blaring.][Dog barks.] Mutant monsters and robot ninjas are taking over my city. How long before those freaks hurt somebody close to me like my Dad, my little sister, April? I'm not waiting around to find out. All my life, I knew I was meant for something greater. This is my calling, my destiny. A true warrior has gotta be prepared. Huh? Who do you Who do you think you are, a ninja? Bring it, punk! [Electricity crackling.] Scum-sucking, mutated freaks of the world, prepare to meet Casey Jones.My sons you are truly becoming impressive warriors. But to grow as a team, you must know each other's strengths and weaknesses. - Wah! - Heh! [Burps.] Ugh, right in my face! Really? Garlic and clam pizza! This competition is a free-for-all. Last turtle standing wins. Hajime! I'm still seeing spots. [Yells.] Ooh! [Groans.] Sorry, Donnie, it's a ninja-eat-ninja world. [Laughing.] [Gasps.] [Grunting.] What are you doing, Leo? I was going for Mikey. What part of "last turtle standing" don't you understand? [Gasps.] [Grunts.] Gah! Aw, man! Distraction, misdirection. Powerful weapons in a ninja's arsenal. [Laughs.] Looks like you've leveled up to the boss fight. I'm gonna wipe that smirk off your face permanently. [Both grunting.] [Groans.] Well, Leo won it this time. [Growling.] Uh-oh. He's awoken the beast. [Grunting.] [Groans.] Raph! What are you doing? I'm I didn't mean to hurt him. It was an accident. Seriously. Did you guys get the number of that bus? We have spoken about this time and again, Raphael. Anger is a dangerous ally. It clouds your judgment. You need to control it lest it controls you. But, Sensei, I wasn't angry! I was just determined to win. All: Mm. What? I said I wasn't angry! [Panting.] [Groans.] [Grunting.] This always happens. I'm fine until those guys push my buttons. Ah! It's not like I was trying to hurt Leo. [Crash.] They just don't get it. [Girl screaming, car alarm blaring.] [Glass breaks.] [Sniffing.] My city is infested. A boil, a festering sore. It stinks with evil pure evil only Casey Jones can face. [Sighs.] Actually, crime fighting's pretty boring. [Rat chittering.] [Yells.] [Panting.] I hate those furry little freaks! Phew. [Clatter.] What? What do you want from me? Aah! Check it out a walking ATM. Let me make a withdrawal. [Whimpering.] Attaboy. The watch too! [Laughing.] Ooh! What the You slimeballs picked the wrong night. Nice outfit. [Scoffs.] Who's this clown? [Laughing.] I'm the last guy you see before you wake up in the hospital. [Battle cry.] Ooh! Choke on it, punk! That guy's out of control. Time for a little intervention. [Groaning.] Casey Jones shoots! He scores! Hey, man, enough. We give up. Well, I ain't finished with you two lowlives yet. [Both grunting.] What? Who's back there? Show yourself. Another mutant? Got a problem with that? Wait. What are you, like, some kind of turtle ninja? [Laughing.] [Growling.] [All panting.] Hey, you filthy scum, I'm not done with you! - Let me handle this. - Outta my way! You know, anger is a dangerous ally. Why don't you cool off for a while? That's it, lizard, I'm done with you. Goongalaaaa! [Groans.] [Both grunting.] I told you, back off! You let those muggers go? You're gonna pay for that, freak. Aah! [Both grunting.] Gotta admit. Throwing stars are cool. Let me show you my sai! [Battle cries.] [Groans.] Heh, ain't turtles supposed to be endangered? Only the ones that can't do this. [Yells.] Ugh! [Car alarm blaring.] Let's go. [Grunts.] [Battle cry.] Ugh! Gah. That hurt. [Both yelling.] Ahhh! [Panting.] What am I doing? [Sighs.] Maybe I do have anger issues. [Electricity crackling.] [Babbling.] [Car approaching.] You ain't seen the last of me, turtle. [Tires screeching.] [Grunts.] Yeah! You better run or skitch! Whatever! [School bell rings.] Well, well. Casey Jones finally makes it to class. What a surprise. Ready for the big trig exam? Trig exam? Oh, yeah! - I was up all night studying. - Really? Did your homework punch you in the face? I had, um uh, late-night hockey practice. Isn't the rink closed after dark ever since that mysterious fight broke out there a few weeks back? So how exactly did you get those bruises, Casey? Hmm? What are you, Irma, my interrogator? I saw something crazy last night. As in mutant crazy. Come on, April. We've got our exam, and I will not be late this time. Yo! You ready for 48 hours of mega-thrusting, evil-fighting, galaxy-saving - super sentai action? - I was until you spilled greasy popcorn all over me! My bad. Hey, Leo. You got a minute? I was gonna check out Super Robo Mecha Force. Cool! So here's the deal. See, I Me Ah. I'm, um [Whispering.] Sorry. - What was that? - I said I was Sorry. Sorry! Okay? Sorry! I thought I had my anger under control. Turns out I didn't. But now I do, seriously. He means for now. I give him ten more seconds. Night, eight, seven - What are you saying, Raph? - Six - It's not that you are angry - Five - but we make you angry? - Four - I never said that. - Three Two, one. Shut up! Bing, bing, bing. We have a winner! [Panting.] Raph, wait. I was just busting your shell. Come on, hang out. Ah, let the big green baby go. [Grunting.] [Grunting.] Those guys are making me loopy. They just don't get it. [Sirens blaring.] It's been three days, and my body still feels like a punching bag. That turtle's a worthy opponent, I'll give him that. [Grunting.] [Music.] [Crash.] [Cat yowls.] Anger issues? Who's got anger issues? I don't have anger issues. Maybe they have anger issues. [Mumbling angrily.] And I'm telling you right now [Ominous music.] It can't be! Our great enemy! [Screeching.] Yes, squeakums. It's Cyberoid X! Ha, ha, ha! I have invaded the secret Mecha Force lair of Super Robo Mecha Force five team five. Oh, no! He has trapped us in many force bubbles. Captain Dash, what are we going to do? - Ah! - Calm down, Dr. Blip. Team, I have created powerful shame for the rest of you. But I shall not give up, not now, not ever! - What about now, sir? - Oh, come on. How can one guy infiltrate Super Robo Mecha headquarters? He used his laser tentacle to shut down the defense systems. Duh. You guys watch so much TV, your brains are gonna rot. Yay, Raph's back. There's four of 'em? You cool off yet, man? I'm always cool. Move over. Super! Robo! Mecha! Force! Five! Team! [Fork dings.] Five! Go! An intruder! - Oh, man. - You again? You know this guy, Raph? [Struggling.] Get your stinkin' paws off me! [Growls.] [All scream.] It's face paint. He's just a kid! [Struggling.] Let go of me, you stupid reptiles! Always trust your instincts, April. A well-honed intuition can be sharper than your eyes. - Yes, Sensei. I'll - Let me go! Casey? Casey! - Turtles: You know this guy? - Casey: You know these guys? Don't hurt him, he's my friend! Casey, what are you doing here? A better question is, how do you know these freaks? These are the um, other friends I told you about. Wait, so they're not the bad guys? No way! [Sighs.] Casey Jones, meet Leonardo, Donatello, - Michelangelo - What up? - Ooh! - And the one and only Raphael. So the turtles are all Italian? No. I named them after my favorite painters and sculptors of the Italian renaissance. [Gasps.] [Screams.] [Groans.] Casey? Casey, wake up! Ah! This is Master Splinter, Casey. He's cool. You do not have to fear me, my friend. Rest assured, I do not bite. He's a giant t-t-talking rat? [Laughing.] Big bad vigilante's afraid of rats. [Cockroach chittering.] Ahh! [Laughing.] Just like you and cockroaches, huh, Raph? [Beeping.] [Indistinct whispering.] - What is it, April? - Sensei, we're not alone. [All grunting.] Raph, you led the enemy right to our lair? It's the kid's fault! - He was following me. - My fault? Booya-ka-shaaa! You're the one who did this. They followed you too, dude! Don't "dude" me, dude. - All: Whoa. - Stay alert. More are coming. [Beeping.] [Whirring.] Hey! He'll give away our location! Don't let that robot escape. Casey Jones is on it. Tell Casey Jones I don't need his help. - Yah! What are you doing? - Me? You got in my way! Where'd he go? That bot gets back to Karai and gives away our hideout, you answer to Splinter. The rat? [Robotic squeal.] [Spits.] Yes! Next time, tag it with a real grenade! [All grunting.] Stop messing around. You'll blow us to Philadelphia! Sorry, D. [Yelling.] [Panting.] Faster, man! Move your shell! [Rumbling.] Whoa! - You okay? - Thanks. There he is! [Dramatic music.] [screams.] - Thanks, Raph. - Now we're even. Outta my way! I can take this robot down myself. Aghh! He's going for the street! We can't let him get away! [Electricity crackling.] [Crackling, powering down.] [Panting.] That was too close. You're a pretty good fighter, Jones. Sure, you're raw, unfocused, dangerous, crazy! But not bad. Thanks. You're not so bad yourself. For an amphibian. [Laughing.] Yeah! [Robots powering down.] Is that all of them? Yes. That is all. So what happened to Raph and Casey? Dude, the way we chased that thing down! And what about when I shocked it with my stunner? - How cool was that? - Hey, don't forget the subway chase. That was the awesomest part! Huh? [Gasps.] Aww, what's up? No more robots left for me and Raph? Whoa! Okay. What's up with you two? You're like best friends forever now or something? Gah! - I see you have found a new ally, Raphael. - Yeah, Casey's cool. Thank you for helping my family. No problem, rat dude. Wasn't a bad warm-up. But now it's time to clean the scum off the streets. Let's do this! Both: Yeah! [Both laugh.] Great. You know what this means, right? Now we have two Raphaels! - Ha ha! - Yeah

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