The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary


 * Sheldon: 'Alright, Poindexter, sit down, shut up, and listen!'
 * Leonard: I'm sorry?
 * Sheldon: Oh, that's how my father always began our football conversations - and, if you'd like, after the game, I'll take you outside and teach you to shoot close enough to a raccoon that it craps itself.
 * Howard: Sheldon knows football ...?
 * Leonard: Apparently.
 * Howard: I mean, Quidditch, sure, but football ...?
 * Sheldon: I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, peewee football, in fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a Commie plot.
 * Leonard: Go! Go! Go! Go-Go-Go-Go! Yes! Are you people watching this? Is this amazing or what?
 * Penny: Sweetie, that’s a highlight from the ’98 championship game.


 * Leonard: When are you going to stop making Cylon toast?
 * Sheldon: When I have enough to destroy all the human toast on the battlestar known as Galactica. [sees Leonard in a huge, red football jersey] Is that what you're wearing to watch football at Penny's?
 * Leonard: What's wrong with a football jersey?
 * Sheldon: Nothing. That, however, appears to be a football cocktail dress.