Trial

THE EPISODE OPENS TO A COURT HEARING. THE DEFENDANT: POISON IVY.

JUDGE: Prisoner will stand.

JUDGE: Pamela Lillian Isley, District Attorney Van Dorn has asked that the maximum sentence of life in prison be imposed upon you.

POISON IVY SMILES AT VAN DORN.

JUDGE: However, as your apprehension came at the hands of the Batman and not a recognized agent of the law, this court has no choice but to return you to Arkham Asylum where it is hoped you will complete your rehabilitation.

POISON IVY IS LEAD AWAY BY POLICE OFFICERS. THEY ENTER A CELL BLOCK. HARLEY QUINN PRESSES HER FACE TO THE GLASS OF HER CELL AS SHE SEES IVY PASS.

HARLEY: Hi, Red, hi! Welcome home!

IVY: Hi, Harley.

SHE APPEARS TO BE SAD.

IVY IS LOCKED IN THE CELL ACROSS FROM HERS, WHERE A LONE PLANT SITS IN THE CORNER. SHE PICKS IT UP AND SITS DOWN.

HARLEY: Aw, things didn't go too good, huh?

IVY: Nope.

HARLEY: Well, cheer up! Word is we're gonna throw a little party! And ol' Jervis here has the invitations.

TWO GUARDS ARE SHOWN. THEY APPEAR TO BE IN A TRANCE. THE MAD HATTER EMERGES FROM IN BETWEEN THEM, HOLDING 10/6 CARDS IN HIS HANDS.

SCENE CHANGE: THE GOTHAM COURTHOUSE IS BRIEFLY SHOWN BEFORE A NEWS SEGMENT TAKES ITS PLACE IN SCREEN. WE SEE DISTRICT ATTORNEY VAN DORN BEING INTERVIEWED.

VAN DORN: Not only does Batman create these so-called super criminals, he takes it upon himself to be their judge and jury with no regard for the legal system.

ITERVIEWER: It sounds like you wanna put Batman on trial!

VAN DORNE: Believe me, I'd like nothing better.

THE TV IS TURNED OFF.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: Strong words.

VAN DORN: It's got to stop, Jim! As Gotham's new district attorney, I can't allow your pet nut to run loose in my city! I mean it!

GORDON: Janet, it's a war zone out there and Batman is our best weapon!

VAN DORN: And I say he's a drug the city keeps taking to avoid facing reality!

BATMAN DISCREETLY ENTERS THE ROOM.

VAN DORN: Speak of the devil.

BATMAN: The East Side Skulls are ready to declare war on the other gangs.

VAN DORN: Old news. My department's already planning a sting to catch the Skulls' leader.

BATMAN: Don't bother.

BATMAN TURNS THE BLINDS ASIDE, REVEALING THE SKULLS' LEADER HANGING OUTSIDE, GAGGED AND TIED UP.

VAN DORN. Very cute, mister. You want to support law and order, you take off the mask and put on a uniform.

BATMAN SLIPS OUTSIDE.

VAN DORN: You hear me, Batman?! This is the last time!

GORDON AND VAN DORN ARE LEFT WITH THE SKULLS' LEADER. VAN DORN REMOVES A BAT-A-RANG FROM HIM AND PUTS IT IN HER JACKET.

VAN DORN: Next time I see him, it'll be a whole different story.

SCENE CHANGE: VAN DORN IS IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE A VERY FANCY RESTAURANT, WAITING FOR SOMEONE. A MAN APPEARS.

VAN DORN: Hello, Bruce!

IN THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY, VAN DORN IS DATING BRUCE WAYNE- THE VERY MAN SHE ASPIRES TO JAIL.

BRUCE: Janet! I'm so glad we're able to meet on such short notice.

THEY SIT.

BRUCE: It seems every place I look there's our crusading DA, leading the campaign to rid our city of Batman.

VAN DORN: Oh please, he's the last person I want to talk about tonight.

SHE REMOVES HER GLASSES AND PUTS THEM IN THEIR CASE.

BRUCE: Sorry. Still, even you have to admit Batman's come through now and then.

VAN DORN: But look at the lunatic fringe he's created! The Joker, Two-Face, Poison Ivy and the rest? Batman's responsible for every one of them.

WAITER: Excuse me, Miss Van Dorn, but your office just called. They said it's an emergency.

VAN DORN: I'm sorry, Bruce, I won't be a minute.

SHE FOLLOWS THE WAITER.

BRUCE: Take your time!

AFTER WHAT APPEARS TO BE A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME LATER, BRUCE IS SEEN TO BE WHISTLING WHILE TAPPING HIS GLASS WITH A SPOON. HE CALLS A WAITER AFTER CHECKING THE TIME.

BRUCE: Uh, excuse me. Have you seen Miss Van Dorn?

WAITER: Not in the last half hour, sir.

MAN: Look!

BRUCE AND THE WAITER LOOK TOWARD HIM IN SURPRISE.

WOMAN: Must be trouble!

BRUCE LOOKS OUT A WINDOW, WHERE HE SEES THE BAT-SIGNAL ILLUMINATING THE NIGHT SKY.

HE LOOKS TOWARDS IT MEANINGFULLY.

SCENE CHANGE: BATMAN AND GORDON ARE SEEN ON A ROOFTOP. GORDON PRESENTS VAN DORN'S GLASSES CASE.

GORDON: It's Van Dorn's. It was dropped on the front desk twenty minutes ago, along with this.

GORDON HANDS BATMAN A NOTE. HE READS IT.

BATMAN: "Batman, come alone to where lives hang in the balance or the law in Gotham dies."

SCENE CHANGE: THE GOTHAM COURTHOUSE MAKES A REAPPEARANCE. LADY JUSTICE STANDS PROUDLY IN THE CENTER. A BLACK FIGURE IS SEEN IN THE BACKGROUND.

BATMAN: You there! Come into the light!

SILENCE. BATMAN RUN TOWARD THE FIGURE.

BATMAN: I said-

BATMAN TACKLES IT, BUT THE FIGURE IS REVEALED TO BE THE STATUE OF LADY JUSTICE. BATMAN IS SUDDENLY SHOT WITH AN ARROW. THE LADY JUSTICE STATUE FROM BEFORE IS ACTUALLY POISON IVY. BATMAN ATTEMPTS TO APPREHEND HER, BUT IT TOO SLOW. HARLEY KICKS THE WEAPON OUT OF HIS HAND.

HARLEY: Oh no you don't!

SHE KICKS HIM IN THE HEAD.

HARLEY: Ta-da!

BATMAN GRABS HER AND THROWS HER INTO IVY. THEY ARE SEEN WALKING TOWARDS HIM BEFORE HE PRESUMABLY BLACKS OUT.