Son of Stimpy

[Morning, shot of the house, tweeting birds are singing and the TV appears to be on...]

Voice: Hello boys and girls. [camera zooms in a little until it shows inside...] This here's a true story that we just made up.

[The voice (presumably Stinky Wizzleteats) appears to be on the TV, cartoon sound effects are heard (clanging, springs bouncing etc). Stimpy is sitting in the usual spot watching TV, his eyes bulging in and out. A close up of Stimpy's rear is seen; nothing happens. The cat's face is still glued to the screen. A slight gurgling is suddenly heard. Stimpy looks up in surprise.]

Stimpy: Woo!

[The gurgling continues a little more with a dramatic cue playing until...a relieved Stimpy lets out the wind, followed by a post one, a small cloud escapes his rear. Stimpy is startled and suddenly looks down at his rump, a mark is there from where he was sitting, Stimpy stops for a bit and gives a sniff and suddenly he looks startled and gets up to run on the spot]

Stimpy: RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

[He dashes off to find Ren, he's in a lit room under a tall lamp sitting on a large cushion donned in a red robe with a blue ascot and fez reading a book.]

Stimpy: Ren, Ren, you'll never believe what happened!

Ren: [eyes still fixed onto his book, pages slowly turning through] What happened?

[Stimpy looks around left and right and behind him. Then he leans in close, as though to tell a terrible secret.]

Stimpy: [voice lowered a little] Something came out of my...butt! [Ren looks up, his pages all flickering away]

Ren: [still fixed on his book] That's nice Stimpy. Something came out of your butt.

Stimpy: No no Ren, I'm serious! [voice gaspy again] And not only that...[he looks around again left and right after a pause...] it made a soooouuuuuund. [Ren lowers his book to look up at Stimpy, not amused]

Ren (incredulously): Let's see if I got this straight. Something came out of your butt...[Stimpy stays quiet] and it "made a sound".

Stimpy: And it smelt funny!

[Ren raises a brow]

Ren: You've really lost it this time, you've lost your mind. Something came out of your butt, [Stimpy nods as if to say yes], it made a sound...[Stimpy's still nodding] and it smelt funny.

Stimpy: Yes! [grins]

Ren: [looks at him still not amused] You're an eediot. [Stimpy's grin fades, his nose droops and falls flat above his lip]

Stimpy: [crestfallen] No Ren! Really! Ooh...[He perks up, smiling] I'll make another one!

[Dashes off a little to get in position. Ren has no idea what to make of this. Stimpy's now ready] Watch me now. [up on his toes and soon, the cat starts to strain...] Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh...[smiles, nothing happens, Stimpy sighs a little with his lips pursed, he then strains again, a little harder] HhhhnnnnnnnNNNNNNNGGGGHHH...

[Ren slides into view from the right, Stimpy is out of breath again, to no avail, Stimpy looks down at his rear. Ren is starting to get annoyed]

Ren: Well?

[Stimpy tries one more time, biting his lip and gritting his teeth, straining again...this time, his buttocks go all limp and saggy and droop down to the floor. Ren taps them with his foot]

Ren: You have an overactive imagination.

[Stimpy's lip is trembling]

Ren (cotd.) I don't want to hear anymore of your stinky fantasies!

(He walks off. Stimpy pouts in defeat.)

Stimpy: [upset]: Stinky is not a fantasy [looks up bravely], he is real! [perks up looking cock eyed] D'aaand I will find him! [dashes off to hunt for err..."Stinky"] (offscreen) Stinky! [he's now seen walking into a room] (voice booming like a tenor singer) Stiiinky! [again, but more like he's singing] Oh Stiiiinkeeeeeey! [chuckles and continues walking with his hands behind his back, he's then seen looking under the cushion of a sofa that's covered in gum] Stinky? [next, a flower pot, the plant shakes and Stimpy comes up from inside, two worms on his nose] Stinkeeeyyyey? [he's seen in the middle of the room, pondering to himself] Hmmmmm...[suddenly perks up again, tongue flopping out] Aaaaaaaah...[He spots a piano bench in the corner of the room. Stimpy flops down onto his back and wriggles underneath it to look right under the bench. A lot of boogers are seen hanging from underneath] Eeh-hey guys, it's me.

[all of the little boogers open their eyes, one at a time, they are Stimpy's "Magic Nose Goblins", there are six of them, they all smile when they see their big friend]

Goblins: Hi Stimpy!

Stimpy: Hey listen. Any of you guys seen my friend Stinky?

Goblin 1: I don't think so.

Goblin 2: What's a "stinky"?

Goblin 3: Yeah what's he look like? [Stimpy frowns before he takes his time to answer]

Stimpy: Well err... he's kinda small...and he smells funny...annnd...oh yeah, he came out of my butt!

Goblins: He came out of your butt?

Goblin 1: Does he...talk? [the shortest goblin is shaking a little]

Stimpy: Well um...he did make a sound.

Yellow goblin: (whispering) He talks to farts, man. [the goblin on the right does a spinning finger gesture near the brain whistling "cuckoo" a few times]

Goblin 1: Oh err yeah...err...th-that guy. Err... we haven't seen him but we'll keep an eye out...rrrright guys?

All of the goblins: Ooooh suuuure we wiiilll.

Stimpy: *sighs* Well...see ya.

[He sits up with a jolt, his face hitting the bench. The cat looks at the camera with the bench sticking to his face.]

[Later on, Stimpy is sitting back by the TV, this time completely depressed. The light is out; the TV isn't on. The door behind him creaks open and in comes Ren. He slowly enters looking concerned over his friend]

Ren: *walking up to Stimpy* Hey buddy, what's on TV today?

Stimpy: *miserable* I don't care.

[Ren frowns. He gets out a TV guide]

Ren (cheerfully) Hey look! Commander Hoek and Cadet Stimpy.

Stimpy: *still miserable* I don't care.

[Ren feels bad again and looks through the guide]

Ren: Here we go, it's time for Muddy Mudskipper!

Stimpy: *yet again, miserable* I don't care. *his lip starts quivering, Ren's does too, he then pauses for a bit, starting to feel annoyed and then proceeds*

Ren: Aaaww look man, this moping's gone on long enough. Pull yourself together. *Stimpy won't answer, Ren starts to fume* Come on, Stimpy, it's been three years now *he's now taking Stimpy by the arm shaking it*, I'm starting to worry about you.

Stimpy: *still mopey* I don't care. *Ren lets go again now feeling hopeless, he's just about to get mad when suddenly he perks up, reaches offscreen and dangles something in front of Stimpy*

Ren: Look what I broooought yooou! *a shiny toy mouse on a bit of string* a new catneep mouse!

Stimpy: Ueeeeeeeh....

Ren: Meester catneep mooouuuuse! *continues bobbing it infront of Stimpy who refuses to move, Ren finally stops and feels bad, he chucks the mouse away, it lands on Stimpy squeaking, Ren suddenly screams like a girl and perks up again, noticing something, he dashes off...* (offscreen) Hey look Stimpy! *onto Stimpy's favourite litterbox* It's Mr Litterbox, come on, *he's seen standing on all fours* take a steenky one! *he starts digging at the kitty litter with his back feet a few times* Nice and steeenkyyyyy!

Stimpy: *upon hearing the name Stinky, this makes him more upset* Stinky...*tears form into his eyes and he suddenly starts to sob loudly, sniffs and cries a little softer, Ren walks up to him again*

Ren: So THAT'S it, you're still crying about your imaginery butt stinkiness!

Stimpy *calming down but still sad*: I'm not listening to this anymore, he's real...he's real...he's real!

Ren: Oh look man! It's time to get over this fantasy of yours, let the wound heal! *holds onto Stimpy to comfort him* Come on, man! *shakes his arms a little* I'll help you. Together we'll get through this! Okay buddy?

Stimpy: I don't care. *Ren finally snaps again and this time, he's had enough, he fumes again and stomps on the spot softly*

Ren: Fine! Sit here and wallow! You...you fat...you stupid! You...*frustratingly grunts in disgust and walks off* WHO needs you? *Poor Stimpy just stays put*

[Night time, the two friends are in bed, Ren is fast asleep, the camera pans onto poor Stimpy who's still wide awake, his eyes grow bigger, he's still miserable, the clock is almost past twelve, Stimpy's eyes start to water with tears, he inhales a little and turns over to one side in the bed and exhales. The camera pans to the left and outside the window is the same little trump cloud Stinky, he looks in sadly through the window with his hands on the glass, Stimpy's now asleep (presumably), the camera closes in on the bedspread with Stimpy's rear shining in the moonlight as a sad Mozart piece plays, Stinky sadly floats away and leaves, as he does, snow begins to fall]

[Christmas Eve, snow is still falling, a view of the house a bit of a distance way is seen, Stimpy's seen at the door of the house calling for Stinky]

Stimpy: Stiiiiiiiinkyyyyyyy! *no answer, Stimpy calls again* Stiiiiiiiinkyyyyyyyy! *still no answer* [closer shot, Stimpy's got a turqoise shawl round his head, the cat calls again* Stiiiiiinkyyyyyyyyyyy! *places his hands up over his head, no reply, Ren looks up over from behind him with a worried look on his face, Stimpy cups his hands together again, Ren walks up infront of him*

Ren: *tugs at Stimpy a little in the side* Stimpy! You've been out here for months! Come in and help me decorate the tree! *no answer from Stimpy, Ren suddenly has a thought and tries to get him to smile* (sweetly) You can string the dingleberry garland, *nudges him* huh? Huh?

Stimpy: *after a little pause*...uuueeeeh...*Ren's crestfallen, Stimpy's eyes suddenly start to fill with tears, Ren's eyes suddenly start to fix upwards, he has spotted something*

Ren: *smiling* Hey Stimpy!

[Ren starts pointing upwards, Stimpy looks up too, some mistletoe is seen hanging from the doorway, Ren suddenly looks all seductive, Stimpy looks at Ren who leans in closer and flutters his eyelashes at him waiting for a kiss, Stimpy realizes, Ren grins still waiting. Stimpy fights his anger. He doesn't like this feeling and tries to force it back. But it's no use...]

Stimpy *twitches a little, teeth gritting*: Gosh... Darn it, Ren! *pushes him away from his shoulder and looks at him, astonished and a little apologetically.* That's all you can THINK OF? *Ren cowers back a little, a gust of wind appears and passes by* When poor little Stinky's out there in the cold? Lost? ALONE? *Ren falls flat on his back* *another gust blows* He needs me! *walks off* He needs me.

Ren: *getting up* Stimpy no! *too late, Stimpy takes heavy steps, leaving his footprints behind in the snow* Come back! Sti-himpyyyyy! *he falls to his knees, sniffling and sobbing with his head in his hands, he suddenly looks up at the heavens in the night sky* Please... please bring him back safe...*praying* I'm willing to hold off the pectural muscles, if you'll just... bring him back. *gets up, sobs some more a little and shuts the door behind him, followed by a fade out*

[Naked City, snow is still falling, the sound of Stimpy calling Stinky's name can be heard: "Stinkyyyyyyyyy!"]

Stimpy: Stinkyyyyyyyyyy! *offscreen* [he's suddenly shown still looking and he calls for a third time after a few heavy footsteps] Stinkyyyyyyyyeeeeeyyeeeeeeey! Stinkyyyyyyyy! *view from up below, Stimpy's still slowly walking* STINKYYYYYYY! *his voice echoing along*

[shot of Stimpy's feet wrapped in old bag for warmth, later a shot of Santa is seen, he's ringing a bell next to a stand with a little pot with the sign "GIVE" over it, Jingle Bells is playing]

Santa: Ho ho hoooo! Hooo hooo hwHOAAAAAAH! *he's startled, Stimpy's right behind him, he had tried searching his son for him*

Stimpy: Stinky? *nothing, Santa says nothing, Stimpy feels lost again* Stinky! *walks off*

[The search continues, dramatic Beethoven score plays as Stimpy's feet, now raw and bagless, a nail in one of his toes. Later, posters are on display with a picture of Stinky and the words "Have you smelt me?" written on them. Stimpy holds them up and smiles in hope, an obese man walks by, but ignores him, Stimpy later is seen still walking, his feet now in blocks of ice. Cut to a door at the Police Station, the sketch artist is present, Stimpy is seen silently describing Stinky to him (with no audible dialogue). But could be translated to as "Well he's small and he smells funny...oh yeah andhe came out of my butt!" After Stimpy finishes what he's saying, the artist thinks and is not amused, with that he kicks the cat out of the station through the door, Stimpy's been flung out and into a wall, he lands into a heap of snow. A stench suddenly wafts Stimpy's nose, he sniffs]

Stimpy: Stinky? *slowly gets up hopefully* Stinky?

[He weakly crawls along the pavement, but the stench isn't Stinky, but fresh manure for sale, Mr Horse is seen filing his nails....err...hooves standing next to two towers of five bags of horse manure. Stimpy now weak and cold with icicles hanging from his nostrils drops onto the ground. A car pulls up and runs over his snout. Stinky passes by and sits on top of Stimpy unaware it's him, he too is cold, he sits down on top of Stimpy's rear, tears streaming down his face]

Stinky: Oh why did I ever leave home? I'll never find as warm and snuggly home as the one I left. *sighs a little and hovers off*

[As Stinky floats off, snoring can be heard, two homeless bums are asleep by the trash, Stinky wriggles up close and grabs ahold of their jackets to keep warm.]

Bum 1: *sniffs and eyes snap awake* Heeeeeyy! *the other man sniffs and is alarmed*

Bum 2: Ke-RIPES! Somebody light a match! [With that, the two men hold up lit matches, holding their noses and start waving them behind'em, Stinky is in danger of being burnt, he screams and floats off, hiding under the drain, the two men are soon gone, Stinky now wonders off under the sewer]

[Christmas Day, snow has covered all over the surroundings, tender music plays "We Wish You A Merry Christmas", back at home, Stimpy's side of the bed is boarded up with planks of wood Ren is seen in his nightgown rummaging under the bed sadly singing to himself, he's also wearing a Santa hat]

Ren: *singing miserably* #We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas...*sniffing*...we wish you a merry Christmas...*he pulls out a Christmas present wrapped up in red paper with white polka dots and a blue ribbon, on it is a label that reads: "To Stimpy, love Ren"* AND a happy New Year!# *sobs again, Ren walks over to a picture of Stimpy* here's a Christmas present for you Stimpy, I hope you like it...wherever you are.

[Ren takes off the hat, sighing and sobbing again, the doorbell suddenly rings, Ren walks up to the door, still depressed, as he opens it, he gasps, rubs his eyes and looks at who it is...Stimpy. He is completely frozen, with only his legs and nose sticking out, he is covered in a large block of ice, Ren's eyes start to swell with tears]

Ren: Pal? *Stimpy can't answer, he's frozen solid, Ren's tears drop to the floor and with his arms stretched out wide* PAL! *still no answer, Ren hugs the block of ice now completely touched to have his friend back, he's now seen dragging the ice with him using tongs* It's so good to have you home, come in and sit by the fire.

[Cut to Stinky sitting on a bench, and he spots the house]

Stinky: I've finally found my home!

[The living room, Ren is smiling sweetly. Silent Night starts to play]

Ren: Aaawww there you go, pal! *Stimpy is now shown sat on an armchair wrapped up in a warm blanket by the fire, his feet in a tub of hot water, he's shivering still, the mantel piece is decorated, with a reef on top, the Christmas Tree is close by and the walls are also decorated* Snug as a bug in a rug.

[Poor Stimpy still won't answer, he just sits there still shivering]

Ren: *in a sweet childish tender voice, petting Stimpy on the head* Now you just relax. *gives him a sweet little kiss on the forehead, as he's offscreen, Stimpy's tongue suddenly flops out from under the blanket, Ren still watches over him until the doorbell rings again*

[Ren opens the door, looks around, there's nothing there, he groans a little, but a stench is wafting suddenly underneath his nose, Ren sniffs and looks down and back again and down and suddenly smiles. Ren gasps and places his finger down]

Ren: *returning to Stimpy who's still on the armchair* Oh Stiiimpy! *raises his eyebrows up and down a few times* You have a visitor!

Stimpy: I don't care.

Ren: Oh I think you'll care about... this visitor! *sticks his finger out under Stimpy's nose, Stimpy sniffs deeply a few times and suddenly looks at Ren's finger, the waves suddenly form into a little fart cloud, Stimpy stares, Stinky suddenly smiles, so does Stimpy, the two look at each other with great emotion*

Stimpy: *suddenly perking up* STINKY! *hands right out, Stinky too perks up*

Stinky: *hands out* Dad! *reaches over to hug Stimpy* I've been looking everywhere for you!

Stimpy: I thought...I'd never smell you again! *tears in his eyes* And now...you're back and we can be together...forever! *sobs happily, Stinky suddenly smiles, getting up to push Stimpy away, bravely looks at him*

Stinky: No Dad, we can't. You see, I'm all grown up now and I've got my own life to live. *puts his hand on Stimpy's shoulder* I'm a man now and a man has needs. You understand don't you?

Stimpy: No. *Stinky looks down, but suddenly perks up*

Stinky: Wait here, Pop. *floats off* Maybe this will help you to understand, *opens the door* come on in, honey. Dad, I want you to meet my fiance, Cora. *a dead rotten fish corpse, with only the head in flesh*

Stimpy: Gee, *getting tearful* she's beautiful! *Stinky hugs Cora, both Ren and Stimpy shed happy tears, look at each other*

Ren, Stimpy: Meeeemoriiiiiiiiiiiies...

[Scene of churchbells ringing, Wedding March is heard playing on an Organ, Stinky and Cora are in hand, with Stimpy doing the honors]

Stimpy: And so, by the power infested in me, I now pronounce you fart and wife. You may kiss the cod. *Stinky lifts Cora's veil and shares a long kiss*

[Later, Stinky is seen carrying his newly wedded wife into a new home, the door shuts and a "Do No Disturb" sign is seen hanging on the door, the camera zooms out, the door appears to be attached to Ren's nostril, he's suddenly showered with confetti...]

Stimpy: *throwing kitty litter at Ren from a litterbox* I just love a happy ending! *iris out on the two friends*

End of Son of Stimpy.