The Parent Trap (1998)

L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one l see Vis very, very extraordinary E is even more than anyone that you adore can Love is all that l can give to you Love is more than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made for me and you Love is all that l can give to you Love is more than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made for me and you L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one l see Vis very, very extraordinary E is even more than anyone that you adore can Love is all that l can give to you Love is more than just a game for two... How about a souvenir picture? Can you turn towards each other? Love was made for me and you Love was made for me and you - Oh, God! My phone does not work! - How are we ever gonna live? Thanks. There's a counsellor. Where's the Navajo bunk? lt's right there. You can't miss it. Good afternoon. l'm Marva Kulp, your camp director. Now, let's find our duffels. We have a big first day ahead of us. l'll hand over now to my daughter and right-hand man, Marva Junior. Marva, bunk assignments, if you please. All right. Listen up! We got Berg, Kate - lroquois... Wait a minute, l thought this was a boys' camp. OK, found my duffel. Now the question is, how do l get it out? OK, l can do it. OK... No, l can't. - You must be new. - How can you tell? You didn't grab your duffel before the apes tossed it into the heap. - You need some serious help. - Thanks. lt's the big yellow one. - Whoa! That's my kind of woman. - Yo, tie-dye girl! Could you help with my duffel? lt's buried in there. Sure. Oh, that? No problem. - You're from California? - Do you live in Hollywood? - Near a movie star? - What are you? Lucy and Ethel? l've never even been to Hollywood. l live in Northern California. - And l live by a vineyard. - A what-yard? Where you grow grapes to make wine. That's what we do, me and my dad. - Parker, Hallie. - Right here! - Arapaho. - Same as me! Come on, you guys. So, either of you know how to play poker? - Nah, never played it before. - No? Gee, what a shame. So...how much cash did you guys bring with you this summer? Whoa! Who is in there? OK, Arapahos, come on! Let's go! Well, here we are - Camp Walden for Girls. We travelled all the way from London for this? lt's rather picturesque, don't you think? Not exactly the term l think l would've used. Right, shall we review your mother's list? - Now, let's see. Vitamins. - Check. - Minerals. - Check. - List of fruits and vegetables. - Check, check. Check for fruits, check for vegetables. Sunblock, lip balm, insect repellent, stationery, stamps, photographs of mother, grandfather and, of course, trusty butler - me. - Got it all, l think. - Oh, this is from your grandfather. A spanking new deck of cards. Maybe you'll actually find somebody who can whip you at poker. l doubt it, but thanks. Thanks for bringing me, Martin. Now, if you change your mind and want me to collect you, l'm only a phone call away. Thanks, but l'll be fine. Really. See you in eight weeks, old pal. Missing you already, queen of my heart. - Have fun, old bean. - l will. - Toodle-oo. - Toodle-oo. Airport, please. Such a feeling's coming over me There is wonder in the things l see Not a cloud in the sky Got the sun in my eyes... Mom! Mom! Are you there? Pick up! Mom! No, no, no. Slow down. You've got to have some, too, OK? - Something... - Ooh, it smells good. - l'll save you a seat, Annie. - Thanks. Excuse me, girls. l must have some of these gorgeous strawberries. - Would you care for some? - Oh, no, thanks. l'm allergic. - That's too bad. How about you? - l wish l could, but l'm allergic. Yes, allergic. You just...told me that. How did you get over there? Oh, first day of camp. You'll have to excuse the old girl. At least l'm not putting salt in the sugar shakers. l mean, you know, sugar in the salt sha... Now where did she go? Touch. - Good job. - All right! Excellent, kids! Still undefeated champ, from Napa, California, Miss Hallie Parker! Do we have any challengers? Come on, ladies, let's not be damsels in distress. - l'll take a whack at it. - OK, we got ourselves a challenger. Suit up. Here l go. Thanks. Go, Annie! - Fencers ready? - Ready. All set. En garde! Fence! Oops. Touch! - Nice catch. - Thank you. Touch! Sorry. Let me help you. - Let me help YOU! - Why did you do that? - You pushed me in! - l did not! OK, that was quite a show! l think we got ourselves a new camp champ. From London, England, Miss Annie James! All right, girls, shake hands. Come on, girls. - They look alike! - Look at them! - Why is everyone staring? - Don't you see it? - See what? - The resemblance between us. Resemblance between you and me? Let me see. Turn sideways. Now the other way. Well, your eyes are much closer together than mine. Your ears...well, you'll grow into them. Your teeth are a little crooked. And that nose! Well, don't worry. lt can be fixed. - Want me to deck her? - Hold on. l'm not finished yet. You know the real difference between us? Let me see. l know how to fence and you don't? Or l have class and you don't? - Why, l oughta... - Ladies. Time to break up this love fest. Annie, Hallie... l mean, Hallie, Annie... l mean... Whoa! Sorry, ladies. Two pair. Read 'em and weep. - l'm out. - So, that's it? No more takers? l'll take a whack at it. Take a seat, Parker. Deal me in. On the day l was born The nurses all gathered round And they gazed in wild wonder At the joy they had found The head nurse spoke up Said, Leave this one alone She could tell right away That l was bad to the bone Bad to the bone... Tell you what, l'll make you a deal. Loser jumps into the lake after the game. - Excellent. - Butt-naked. Even more excellent. Start unzipping, Parker. Straight...in diamonds. You're good, James. But...you're just not good enough. ln your honour - a royal flush. - Hot stuff! - Love the birthday suit! Grab her clothes! Right. Fine. lf that's the way you want it, then let the games begin. Your evil clone sneezed all the way across the mess hall this morning. l am so tired. l'm going back into bed and sleeping till lunch. That does not seem like a possibility, babe. - Why not? - That's why not. No way. - Shh! Quiet. - Oh, l hope they're sleeping. The coast is clear. OK, come on. Payback time. Shh! Got milk? Oh, my God! She didn't get me. That girl is without a doubt the lowest, most awful creature that ever walked the planet! Thank you. Thank you very much. - Morning, girls. - Morning, Marvas. Marvas! Surprise inspection! Attention! Navajos! No, Marva. Do not go in there. A girl got sick last night, and it is a big mess. Save yourself the aggravation. lt's really disgusting. Oh, if someone's sick, then l must go in. - Move aside, dear. - No, really. l insist. l can't let you go in there. She's highly contagious. Honest. Actually, we're all quite fine, unless Hallie Parker knows something we don't know. Really, l insist. See for yourself, ma'am. Stand aside, Hallie. Mother! No! - l told you it was a mess in here. - She should know. She did it! You and you... pack your bags! OK, girls, the rest of you, back to your activities. You two, the isolation cabin. Oh, gosh! lt's stuck! - Thanks. - You're welcome. Oh, man! Oh, here's your... Cuppy. - Any of your pictures ruined? - Only the beautiful Leo DiCaprio. - Who? - Leonardo DiCaprio. - How far away is London, anyway? - Well, from here it's 3,000 miles, but sometimes it seems much further. - How far away is your home? - Oh, the other end of the country. Actually, here's a picture of my house. - Wow! lt's beautiful. - We built it when l was little. We've got this incredible porch that looks over the entire vineyard and... - Who's that? - Oh, that's my dad. He didn't know l was taking the picture. He's kind of my best friend. We do everything together. - What's the matter? - lt's chilly in here, that's all. - Want one? - Oh, sure. l love Oreos. At home, l eat them with peanut butter. You do? That is so weird. - So do l. - You're kidding? Most people find that totally disgusting. - l know. l don't get it. - Me, either. What's your dad like? ls he one of those workaholic types that says, ''l'll talk to you later, honey,'' but never really does? l don't have a father, actually. l mean, l had one once, l suppose. But my parents divorced years ago. My mother never even mentions him. lt's like he evaporated into thin air. lt's scary the way nobody stays together any more. - Tell me about it. - How old are you? l'll be 12 on October 11th. - So will l! - Your birthday's on October 11th? - How weird is that? - Extremely. Oh, hey! lt's stopped raining. You wanna go get a popsicle or something? - What's the matter? - Hallie, what's your mother like? l never met her. She and my dad split up when l was a baby. He doesn't talk about her, but l know she was really beautiful. - How do you know that? - My dad had this old picture of her, and l looked at it all the time, so he gave it to me. Look, l'm really thirsty. Sure you don't want something? Stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this. - At a time like what? - Don't you realise what's happening? l mean, think about it. l only have a mother, and you only have a father. You've never seen your mum, and l've never seen my dad. You have one old picture of your mum and l have one old picture of my dad. At least yours is probably a whole picture. Mine's pathetic, all crinkled and ripped down the middle... What are you rummaging in your trunk for? This. lt's a picture of my mom, and it's ripped, too. Right down the middle? Right down the middle. This is so freaky. OK, on the count of three, we'll show them to each other, OK? OK. One... - Two... - Three. - That's my dad. - That's my mum. - That's the lunch bell. - l'm not so hungry any more. So, if your mom is my mom and my dad is your dad... ..and we're both born on October 11th... then you and l are, like...like sisters. Sisters? Hallie, we're, like, twins. l just don't know what to say. What's that you're holding? My locket. l got it when l was born. lt has an H on it. l got mine when l was born, too, except mine has an A on it. Well, now l've got goose bumps. My God, so l'm not an only child. l'm a twin. There's two of me. l mean, two of us. - This is, like... - Mind-boggling. - Totally. - Completely. - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! Tell me, what's Mom like? Well, she designs wedding gowns. - Really? - She's becoming quite famous. A princess in Greece bought one of her gowns. Wow! You know what's interesting? Neither one of our parents ever got married again. - Has Dad ever been close? - Never. He says l'm the only girl in his life. Mum's never come close either. l have a brilliant idea. l'm serious! l am a total genius. - You wanna know what Dad is like. - Right. And l'm dying to know Mom. So, what l'm thinking is... Don't freak out, OK? l think we should switch places. l'll go back to London as you, and you go back to California as me. - What? - We can pull it off. We're twins. Hallie, we're totally and completely 100% different. So? l'll teach you to be me, and you teach me to be you. Look, l can do you already. The difference between us? l have class and you don't. Come on, Annie. l gotta meet my ma. The truth is, you know, if we switch, sooner or later, they'll have to unswitch us. And when they do, they'll have to meet again. - After all these years. - Thank you. l told you l'm brilliant. OK, this is Grandfather. He's so cute! What do we call him? - Grandfather. - Why didn't l think of that? - This is Martin. He's our butler. - We have a butler?! OK, living room. Here's the dining room. We only eat in there on Thanksgiving, Christmas and October 11th. OK. l'm ready. - Don't shut your eyes. - Oh! OK. Right. - Sorry. Just a little nervous. - You're nervous? An 11-year-old is cutting my hair! - You sounded just like me. - l'm supposed to. Go on. Just do it. Don't panic! You look great. Looking good! This is so scary. Honey, you never looked better. Oh, my God. What? l have pierced ears. No. No, no and no. Not happening. Sorry, wrong number. l won't. l refuse. Then cutting your hair was a total waste. l can't go to camp with pierced ears and come home without 'em. Get real. Needle sterilised. You sure you know what you're doing? Relax. l've gone with all my friends to get their ears pierced. Just close your eyes. lt'll be over before you know it. - Earring ready? - Yes. Hand me the apple. Thank you. Just relax. This is not a big deal. On the count of three, remove the ice. One...two...three. Girls, time to say your last goodbyes. The buses are loading. l'll see you guys next summer. l promise. - OK, so call me every single day. - And write me. Don't forget. - OK, this is it. - Find out how Mum and Dad met. - You find out why they broke up. - Annie James. Your car's here. That's you. Here's your ticket. Martin picks you up tomorrow. - What time do you leave? - Not for a while. - Kiss Mum for me. - And kiss Dad for me. Annie James, front and centre! - Bye. Love you. - Last call, Annie James! - Bye-bye. - Bye. Good luck. OK, this is it. Oh, God. l hope she likes me. Please like me. Please. - Annie! - Martin! - Missed you. - Missed you. - What happened to your hair? - Cut it. Do you like it? Love it! lt's the new you. And you've had your ears pierced. Give me five, girlfriend. There she goes There she goes again Racing through my brain And l just can't contain This feeling that remains There she goes There she goes again - She calls my name - There she goes There she goes again - Home again. - Thank you. This is it. Seven Pembroke Lane. Hello? Grandfather? - l'm home. - ls that my little girl? - That tall gangly thing? - Yes, it's me. Oh, welcome home. Did you have a good time, sweet pea? - Great. - What are you doing? - Just smelling. - Smelling? - l'm making a memory. - Oh. Years from now, when l'm grown up, l'll always remember my grandfather, and how he always smelt of... peppermint and pipe tobacco. - Good to have you back. - Annie? Annie? - Mother. - You're back! - l can't believe it's you. - And l can't believe it's you. And with short hair. Who cut it? A girl at camp. Do you hate it? No, l absolutely love it. You got your ears pierced? Well, are there any other surprises? Belly button rings, tattoos? Oh, darling, what is it? l'm sorry. lt's just l've missed you so much. Oh. - l know. lt seems like forever. - You have no idea. So, come on, did you like everyone? Was it fun? Ah, Martin. l found a stowaway in your suitcase. - Oh, my God, Cuppy. - Cuppy? He belongs to the friend l was telling you about. l can't imagine how this happened. Since he's not ours, shall we dispose of the little creature? No! l mean no. l'll mail him to her. She loves this thing a lot. She's slept with it her entire life. She could never be, say, in a foreign country without him. l'll take care of it, Martin. Thank you. Hello? Oh, hi. How's the photo shoot going? Well, can't you manage without me? Annie just got home from camp. Yeah. Here comes the sun Here comes the sun, and l say lt's all right... OK, hold on. Annie, would you really hate coming to the studio with me? No, l'd love it. Here comes the sun Here comes the sun, and l say lt's all right Little darlin' Their smiles are returning to their faces Little darlin' lt seems like years since it's been here Here comes the sun... Wow! That's incredible. You designed that? l had to do something while you were away. lt isn't too...? No, it's gorgeous. l love it. You know who would look really beautiful in that gown? - Who? - You. Me? l think that time change has made you loopy. Let's see what all the fuss is about. - OK, l'm here. - Ah, we're saved. - Hi, Vendela. - Hi. What do we do with the veil? lf she doesn't wear it, it looks... lncomplete. You're right. Can you turn sideways with your chin up? l see the problem. Give me the veil? Annie, darling, pass me one of those hats in the window. - Me? - Yes, you. - Which do you like? - The white one. Me, too. Try this. Now, throw the veil straight back. That's it. Now spin around. That's beautiful. Just how it falls, just down there. Don't worry about the bouquet. You're married now. And look happy. lt is your wedding day. My mom is too cool. - l'll never let you go - Never, never gonna let you go l'll never let you go l'll never let you go l'll never let you go l'll never let you go... Don't all the wedding gowns make you think about getting married again, or at least about the F-word? - The F-word? - My father. Oh, that F-word. Well, no, actually, because l didn't wear a wedding gown when l married the F-word. You didn't? Why not? Why the sudden curiosity about your dad? Maybe because he's never mentioned. You can't blame me for wondering. You can't avoid the subject forever. What was he like? OK. He was quite lovely, to tell the truth. When we met, he was actually entirely lovely. - All right? - So, did you meet him in London? - We met on the QE2. - QE what? lt's an ocean liner that sails from London to New York. l wasn't keen on flying. Neither was your father. We met our first night aboard at dinner. - He's an American. - No kidding! Was it love at first sight? l knew you were gonna ask me all these questions one day. Taxi! Dear old Dad. l wonder what he's doing at this very moment. Thanks. Oh, gosh! lt's him. Hey, Hal! Welcome home, kiddo. - Come here, you little punk! - Dad! Finally. l hope you had a lousy time because you are not going back. l missed you too much. What happened to you, Hal? Something's changed. Are you getting taller? So, what's up, Dad? l mean, how's Chessy and everybody? Great. Everybody's great. Can't wait to see you. Eight weeks really is too long. A lot's been happening. A lot's happened to me, too, Dad. l feel like practically a new woman. What's the matter? l cut myself shaving? No, it's just seeing you for the first time. l mean, you know, in so long. - You look taller to me, too, Dad. - Come on, squirt. Let's get home. Oh, by the way, thanks for all those letters. l'm glad l bought that personalised stationery you just had to have. - We meant to write, Dad, but... - We? Oh! Oh, me and my friend. - Me and this girl got really close. - Great. Practically like sisters. She was a lovely girl. Lovely girl? Suddenly, you're so proper? - Still biting those nails, l see. - Dad, you noticed! Noticed? You've bit 'em since you could chew. But l've decided to stop, Dad. lt's a horrid habit. Lovely girl? Horrid habit? Was it summer camp or finishing school? And why do you keep saying Dad? Sorry. l didn't realise l was doing it, Dad. Sorry, Dad. Do you wanna know why l keep saying Dad? Because you missed your old man so much, right? Exactly. lt's because in my whole life... l mean, you know, for eight weeks... l was never able to say Dad. Never. Not once. And a dad is an irreplaceable person in a girl's life. Think about it. There's a whole day devoted to celebrating fathers. Just imagine someone's life without a father. Never buying a Father's Day card, never sitting on their father's lap, never being able to say, Hi, Dad or Catch you later, Dad. A baby's first words are always da-da. Let me see if l get this. You missed calling me Dad? Yeah. l really have, Dad. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Now you sound like your old self. Oh, hello, gorgeous! Oh, look at you! Oh, you grew! Oh, we missed you so much! Don't let him talk you out of going back to camp. You need adventure. - OK. - Are you hungry? l made cornbread and chilli. What's wrong? Nothing. lt's just... l'm so happy to be home. Hey, did l hear cornbread and chilli? Yeah, it's on the stove. So, something's changed about you, Hal. l can't put my finger on it, but something has definitely changed. Really? Well, it's just the same old me. Honest. Hi, Sammy! What is wrong with you, you goofball? lt's Hallie. Oh, l probably just smell like camp, that's all. What's the matter with you? lt's like you didn't recognise her. Wow! lt's even better than the pictures. OK, kiddo, what do you wanna do first? You wanna eat and then unpack, or we could unpack and then eat, or we could eat while we unpack. l can eat in my room? Yeah, l'd say it's a possibility. Hey, when you're done, there's someone l want you to meet. - OK, Dad. - OK, Hal. Look at you. Always eating. - Did you tell her? - No. - Nicky. - Tell me what? lt is none of my business. He's a big boy. He can do what he wants. OK, OK. So, who is she? Her name's Meredith Blake. She's a publicist from San Francisco. Your father hired her to do some publicity for the vineyard. lf you ask me, she's better at selling herself than the grapes. What do you mean? Oy. Look, we both know your father's not some bachelor-of-the-month type, so what does hot young thing like that see in a guy who walks around with a cereal bowl full of chilli? Then l realised there's about a million reasons why she's giggling. And all of them are at Napa Valley Bank. You don't think she even really likes him? What do l know? But she's got him eating out of the palm of her hand. They do everything together - ride together, swim together, they eat out every night. Know what? See for yourself. Don't let me influence you. There's my girl. Honey, l want you to meet a friend of mine. Hal, this is Meredith Blake. Hi. Hi, Meredith Blake. l can't believe l'm finally meeting the famous Hallie. - l have looked forward to this. - Really? Well, here l am. Oh, Nicky, she's adorable. You know, l expected a little girl, but you are so grown up. l'll be 12 soon. How old are you? - Twenty-six. - Only fifteen years older than me. - How old are you again, Dad? - Suddenly interested in math? Look, l'm gonna get some more chilli, maybe some champagne to celebrate. - What are we celebrating? - Your homecoming, of course. Be right back. Meredith Blake. Hello, Reverend Mosby. Of course. l understand it's a local charity? Oh, yes. l am writing it all down. OK, it sounds very worthwhile, l agree, but, unfortunately, Mr Parker will be out of the country. Yes, absolutely. l will be sure to mention it to him. Thank you. So, how was camp, Hal? Was it fabulous? - My dad's going out of the country? - Oh, no. l had to tell a little white lie to get him out of something. l have never heard a man talk about his daughter the way Nicky does. You two are obviously incredibly close. We're closer than close. We're all each other has. - Sorry. Did l get you wet, Mer? - Just a little, Hal. Hey, guess what. Your daddy took me riding and let me ride your horse. - l hope that's OK with you. - Oh, sure. Sprout's used to strange women riding her. Not that you're strange or anything. Actually, compared to the others, you are relatively normal. - Others? What others? - You want the 4-1-1? - What's the 4-1-1? - The information on other women. Don't blame you. l'd wanna know if l was number 29 in a man's life. - l'm number 29? - Yeah, it's always the same routine. Horseback riding through the vineyards, romantic dinners with special reserve label wine, moonlight swims... Here we go. A bottle of special reserve label. So, did you find something to talk about while l was gone? - Does that mean yes? - lt sure does. Would somebody grab that, please? James residence. - Annie? - Yes, Martin? lt sounds just like you. To whom did you wish to speak? Annie? Of course. One moment, please. A Mildred Plotka for you. Sounds just like your twin. My twin? Very funny. Good one, Martin. Hello? Oh, Mildred, darling! Hi. How are you? - Hey, how's it going over there? - Oh, everything's quite lovely here. Mildred, can you hold on for a moment? OK, but hurry. l've got to talk to you. OK. l can talk. Oh, my God! Mom's incredible. l cannot believe l lived without her. She's beautiful and fun, and l love her designs. - But... - And l got her talking about Dad. - lf you ask me, there's... - Hallie, stop. We've got a problem. Bring Mother here immediately. lmmediately? Are you nuts? l've only had one day with her. - l can't. l won't. - lt's an emergency. Dad's in love. Get out of here. Dad doesn't fall in love. - At least not seriously. - He's serious about this one. He's always holding her hand and waiting on her hand and foot. - He is? - lt's disgusting. Break 'em up. Do whatever you have to. l'm trying, but l'm at a slight disadvantage. l only met the man 12 hours ago. You've got to come and help me. l can't. l want more time with Mom. - What's going on? - Annie, are you still there? - l'm here. What...? - l think l lost you. Hello? Thanks for all the help, Hal. Ahem... Hi. l had a phone call from a friend at camp. lt's an old camp tradition - talk from inside a closet. Kind of stupid, l know, but... So...breakfast, anyone? OK, here we go. Most important meal of the day. Eggs sunny side up, bacon, toast, and if you're really hungry, a stack of chocolate chip pancakes, which smell incredible. Thanks, Chessy. You're not hungry again? You hardly touched your chilli - your favourite. - Are you sick, honey? - l'm fine, l promise. - Where's Dad? - Oh. He and Miss Just-Half-A-Grapefruit left about an hour ago. You overslept, and he didn't wanna wake you. l'd oversleep, too, if l were up at midnight making phone calls. Oh, that. l was calling a friend from camp. Mildred. - She lives in New York. - Oh, l see. So, you waited to call Mildred then because of the time difference? Exactly. Because of the time difference. So you waited until it was 3 a.m. her time? That makes perfect sense. Actually...it was 7 p.m. her time. She lives in New York, but she was on vacation in Bora Bora. Very smooth. OK, your father wants to meet you at his office after breakfast. He does? Thanks. l'm done. That dog has gotten so weird. Bye, Chessy. Thanks again for breakfast. lt was great. Push, Hal. Sorry, l forgot. Honey, l'm really glad you're here. There's something really important l wanna talk about. That's funny. There's something important that l wanna talk about. - Yeah? You go first. - No, you. OK. l wanna talk to you about Meredith. And l wanna talk to you about my mother. What about Meredith? - What about your mother? - Dad, l'm almost 12. How long do you expect me to buy that story about the stork? Hal, we've talked about your mother. No, we haven't. Not really. A girl needs more than a half a crumpled photograph. Dad, l'm almost a teenager. Face it, l need a mother. You know what? You're right. You're absolutely right. You do need a mother, which brings me to... - Meredith. - Hi. Hello, Hal. - Hi. - This is my assistant, Richard. This is Nick's daughter, the one l've told you about. - Oh, hello. How are you? - Hi, there. - Did you tell her? - Almost. Hey, let's all have lunch on the terrace. Well, l promised Hal we'd hang out together. Oh, no problem. l've got plenty to do. l'm working on a label design featuring Y-O-U. You'll love it. - See you for dinner. Bye, Hal. - Bye. The first change l make is to send that little brat to boarding school. - Ooh, ice woman! - And proud of it, babe. Come on, Dad! OK, OK! You win. Hold on. Give that horse a rest. Whoa, Sprout! So, honey, you excited about our camping trip? - What camping trip? - What camping trip?! The one we take every summer. Oh, that camping trip. Yeah, sure. l can't wait. So, er, Hal... what do you think of Meredith? As what, Dad? Your publicist? Your friend? Your...? No, just what do you think of her...as a person? She's cute. She has nice hair, teeth. She can spell the word you. Honestly, Dad, the woman's a complete stranger to me. - Why do you want my opinion? - l'll tell you why, Hal. - Because believe it or not... - Race you back, Dad! Hal! Hal, l'm trying to tell you something! Hey, slow down! l'm in so over my head here. l'm only one kid. Anything you wanna share with the class? Chessy, you gave me a fright. l gave you a fright? You scared me. l didn't know you were, like, here. Are you sure there isn't anything you wanna talk to me about? Like why Sammy never comes near you any more? Or why your appetite's changed? Or why suddenly you're neat as a pin and using expressions like you gave me a fright? Chessy, l changed a lot over the summer, that's all. OK. Boy, if l didn't know any better, l'd say it's almost like you were... Forget it. lt's impossible. - Almost as if l were who, Chessy? - Nobody. Forget l mentioned it. Almost as if l were Annie? - You know about Annie? - l am Annie. Hal? Hal, why did you take off on me like that? l wanted to talk to you about something. Why are you looking at her like that? Like what? l'm not looking at her any special way. l'm looking at her like l have for 11 years. Since the day she came home from the hospital. Six pounds, eleven ounces. This is how l look at her! Can l hug her? Oh, she's so beautiful. And so big. l'm gonna make you something special to eat. What would you like? Anything? lt doesn't matter. l'm just gonna go whip up everything we've got, OK? Hal, come here. - We have to talk. - OK, shoot. OK. Honey, l wanna know what you think about making Meredith part of the family. Part of our family? - Yeah. - l think it's an awesome idea. - Yeah? - lnspired. Brilliant. - Really? You do? - Totally. lt's a dream come true. - l've always wanted a big sister. - Oh, ho... Honey, you're missing the point. No, l'm not. You're going to adopt Meredith. - That is so sweet, Dad. - No, l'm not going to adopt her. l'm...going to marry her. Marry her?! That's insane! She's young enough to be my big sister! Hal... Hal... Hal, calm down. Hal! Are you speaking French? l learned it at camp. OK. l'm sorry. Let's discuss this calmly and rationally. - Yeah. And in English, all right? - OK. Sweetheart, what has gotten into you? Nothing. Nothing. Just... Just... Dad, you can't get married. lt'll totally ruin completely everything! Hal... Hal... Hallie! Don't look at me. l don't know a thing. She thought l was going to adopt her? - Hi, doll. - Hi. You look stressed, baby. - How about a martini? - How about a double? Coming right up. Chessy! Don't you love it? lt's just what we need. Chessy! - You rang? - Two martinis, please. And make Mister Parker's a double. Chess, please? l'm getting a migraine. - l told Hallie. - You did? And? She started yelling in French. l didn't know she spoke French. - l don't know what's got into her. - Oh, Nicky, this reaction is totally classic. lt's Daddy's-Getting-Remarried 101. l'd be worried if she didn't act this way. Look, why don't l go talk to her? You know, woman to woman. l think she's a little sensitive about you right now. That's why l need to do it. We've got to break the ice sometime. Wear your shirt like this. l like it when l can see a little chest hair. Knock, knock. Can l join you? Sure. Guess the engagement came as a shock, huh? Basically. l remember what it was like to be 11. lt's a wonderful age. You're starting to feel like a woman and, believe it or not, soon you'll understand about love. Me? l don't think so. l don't even have my 12-year-old molars yet. Well, take it from someone who got their molars very early in life, being in love is a fantastic mystery that takes a man and a woman... l don't mean to be jerky, but l know what mystery my dad sees in you. - You do? - You're young, beautiful and sexy. The guy's only human, but marriage should be based on more than sex. Boy, your father underestimates you. But you won't...will you, Meredith? Being young and beautiful's not a crime, you know? And for your 4-1-1, l adore your father. He's the kind of man l always planned on marrying. This is the real deal, and nothing you do can come between us. Sorry, angel, but you are no longer the only girl in Nick Parker's life. - Get over it. - lf this is the real deal, then my dad's money has nothing to do with you wanting to marry him, right? OK, puss, l am marrying your father in two weeks, like it or not, so don't tangle with me any more. You are in way over your head. ls that clear? Crystal. Martin, a refill, please. You must've grown three inches, l swear, in six weeks. - Lovely wine, Martin. - Thank you, sir. - May l have a sip? - l don't think you'll like it. Well, the bouquet's a little too robust for a merlot, but then l'm partial to the softer California grape. She learned about wine at the summer camp? She must have. - Darling! You all right? - l had one sip too many, l guess. You know, l could use a bit of fresh air. - May l step outside? - Shall l go with you? Oh, no, no, no. l'll be fine. Just got a touch woozy, that's all. Woozy, huh? Yes, collect call to America, please. - Hello? - What's up? Hal, l'm desperate. Dad's getting married. - What do you mean getting married? - Tie, gown, the whole enchilada. - What?! - The wedding's in two weeks. lf we're getting Mom and Dad back together, we've got to do it fast. OK, Mom and l are going to the theatre tonight. - l'll drop the bomb in the morning. - OK, thanks. - And, Hallie, hurry! - OK, l will. Oh, excuse me, sir... Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Yes. Now, what say you and l take a little stroll, young lady? OK. - Now, what's this all about? - Well, it's a long story. Well, it's a very big park, and we've got plenty of time. Just do it, sweet pea. Allez, au revoir. Come in. l just have to finish this sketch, then how about we go out to lunch and spend the rest of the day in Harrods? l can't, sorry. l have to go out of town today. You have to go out of town? Where, may l ask, are you going? Annie? Annie? That's where l have to go. To Annie. - l see. And where might Annie be? - ln Napa with her father, Nick. - You're not Annie? - That would be correct. You're Hallie? l am. Annie and l met up at camp, and we decided to switch places. l'm sorry, but l'd never seen you, and l dreamt of meeting you my whole life. Annie felt the same way about Dad, so we sort of just switched lives. l hope you're not mad, because l love you so much. l hope that one day you could love me as me, not Annie. Oh, darling... l've loved you your whole life. l've never been so happy in my entire life. So, l... l guess you have to switch us back now? Well, technically, you belong to your dad and Annie belongs to me. His and Hers kids. No offence, Mom, but this arrangement really sucks. - l agree. lt totally sucks. - l say we fly to Napa, see Annie and Dad, and work this whole thing out. And l say you're right. Not to worry, l'll take care of everything. You're not to worry, OK? l'm sorry, l can't handle this. l haven't heard from Nick Parker in over 11 years. Suddenly, l'm flying halfway across the world to... l'm not mature enough for this. lf he didn't make me nuts, l'd be married to him. We did this so we'd never have to see each other. Look at me. Have you ever seen me like this? Don't answer that. What if he doesn't recognise me? No, don't answer that either. So, Hallie said he was a...a hunk? He was rather dishy. His smile made me go weak at the knees. - OK, l'm all set, Mom. - Great. Me, too. Almost. - Mom, your suitcase is empty. - Oh, right, sorry. Did you speak to your father, dear? Yeah, l just hung up. He's really anxious to see you. Anxious-nervous, like he's totally, completely dreading it, or anxious-excited, like he's looking forward to it? - Anxious-excited, definitely. - Oh. He'll meet us tomorrow at the Stafford Hotel in San Francisco. My, my. That's incredibly soon, isn't it? Well, you run downstairs and get our tickets from your grandma...father. - OK. - Liar, liar, pants on fire. Shh! Martin, l have a ridiculous request. You're more than a butler to me. You're like a loveable brother who happens to wait on us. - Anyway, l was wondering if...? - l'd accompany you on the trip? Would you, Martin? Thank you! l'd be so grateful. - You can come just as a friend. - Madam, l'd be honoured. And may l say, as a friend, if l were seeing my ex after 11 years, and l had your legs, l'd wear this little baby. You'll kill in it. - Bye, Daddy, darling. - Bye, darling. - Wish me luck. - Good luck. - Bye, Pop. - Bye, Hal. You're coming to Napa for Thanksgiving, right? l wouldn't miss it for the world. Bye. - Say hello to your father for me. - l will. OK, they'll be here any minute. Now, be nice, Daddy. He's everything you ever wanted for your little girl, plus millions more. Then you know l'll be nice. Oh, OK. There he is. With the whole motley crew. - Hi, darling. - Hi. Hallie, Chessy...and Sammy - what in the world are you doing here? - Honey, a dog at the Stafford? - Hal begged me. Oh, you're such a softie. Good doggie. So, Meredith, these the folks? Yes. Mom, Dad, you finally meet. This is my fianc and the love of my life, Nicholas Parker. Hello, Nicholas. l'm so pleased to meet you. l'm Vicki. And this is Nick's adorable daughter Hallie. This entire prenuptial get-together was her idea. How are you? We've heard nothing but wonderful things about you. Hello, pet. You may call me Aunt Vicki. - Other end, madam. - Whoops! That was a great flight. lt was so quick. l've never seen you quite so thirsty, madam. Would you believe, Martin, darling, l've never tasted vodka before? - Could've fooled me, ma'am. - Come on. Let's rock and roll. l am in such major trouble here. The room is perfect for the wedding. Not too big, not too cramped. l like the idea of a wedding at the house, but this could be amazing. l've checked us in. Let's freshen up and then rendezvous for lunch. - Great. - Meet you in the bar in ten. - Perf. - Sweetheart? Why don't we go check out the honeymoon suite? l bet it is to die for. Ooh, whoops! l forgot my bag. Hey, hang on. Sammy! Sammy! Sammy! - Excuse me, did you find a beige...? - Thank you. - Mum! - You didn't have to wait for me. l could've found the room by myself. Besides, l need a little fresh air. Go on, sweetie. l'll meet you upthstairs. l like that jacket. Were you wearing that on the plane? - Mum, watch ou...! - Sorry. Sorry. She's drunk! She's never had more than one glass of wine in her life, and she chooses today to show up totally zonked. Yeah, well, just do what the woman says and meet her upthstairs. ..that's why they make Do Not Disturb signs. Alone at last. Hallie Parker! Oh, don't do this to me. l'm already seeing double. - lt's me, Mum. Annie. - Oh, darling! You look wonderful. Oh, my girls. l can't believe you're together. - But how could you do this to me? - Excuse me, l hate to interrupt, but might l suggest that we continue this little pow-wow inside? Hi. You probably don't remember me... Chessy! l knew l always liked her. One of you - l'm not sure which one at the moment - told me your father knew l was coming today. The man l saw in the elevator had no idea we were on the same planet, - let alone in the same hotel. - You saw Dad already? Yes, l did. The man went completely ashen, like l was the Ghost of Christmas Past! Can someone get something cold for my head? l've pondered what it would be like to see your father after 11 years. Well, me waving like a mindless idiot while he's wrapped around another woman is not what l had in mind. No, siree. - Martin! What are you doing? - Going for a dip. Do you mind? No, no, no. That's perfectly perfect. Have fun. Someone ought to. Hello. Hello. Hello to you. - Chessy, this is our butler, Martin. - How do you do? l'm her butler. Enchant, mademoiselle. Gee. The pleasure's all mine, monsieur. You were telling me why you brought me here without telling your father. Were they? OK, that's good. Then l'm just gonna go check out the mini-bar. - Allow me to assist you. - Wait! Does everyone here know something l don't know? Mum, Daddy's getting married. To Cruella de Vil. She's awful. We can't let him go through with it. She's wrong for him. The only way he won't marry her is... You tell her. ls if he sees you again. Wait. You're not trying to set me up with your father. Actually, we are. You're perfect for each other. Hold it! You two knew about this? - What? Oh, no. - No! - No, no, no, no. - Madam, absolutely no idea. - Yes. l did know something. - Technically, yes. - Hallie told me the story. - lt was so sweet. - l'm an old romantic. - So am l. OK, OK. Let me say this loud and clear. Nick Parker and l have absolutely nothing in common...any more. Plus, he seems extremely content with his leggy, tight-skirted, bare-backed fiance. l want you to explain to your father that l am here for one purpose only - to switch the two of you back. Now, let's do what we have to do and be done with it. Understood? - Hey, Dad. - Just running down to the lobby. Do me a favour, will you? Will you look after Meredith for me? Thanks. Hallie, Hallie? How do l look? Like, presentable and everything? - Not too old? - You look fab, Dad. Young and fab. - Dad! - l thought you were with Meredith? l was? l mean, l am. Yeah. l was just looking for her, actually. lt's great to see you, Dad. lt's great to see you, too, squirt. - Nice outfit. - Oh, thanks. Well, go on. Get up there. Come on. Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah... - Where's your father? - You talkin' to me? What are you, Robert DeNiro? Yes, l am. Oh, Meredith. Yeah, l just saw him. Well, hello! Where was he? He went that-a-way. l think. - What are you staring at? - Oh, nothing. You're just very pretty, that's all. Don't say you're gonna break your rotten streak and be nice. lf you see your father, tell him he's late and l'm waiting. Whatever you say, Cruella. Here you go. This'll cure anything you've got. - Just don't ask what's in it. - OK. Here's to... Here's to you. May your life be far less complicated than mine. Thank you. Martini, dry, please. l beg your pardon. l think l just drank tar. Here's your Martini and your bill, Miss James. Thank you. - You're Elizabeth James? - Guilty. l saw your wedding dress in Vogue and fell in love with it. l faxed your office yesterday. They said that you were out of town. l can't believe it. lt's fate. - l'm Meredith Blake. - How do you do? Sorry. - Excuse me. - Excuse me. - Where have you been? - This is perfect for the wedding. - The more l see, the more l like it. - Me, too. Absolutely. Now, how many are we expecting from your side of the family? Can l get back to you? l'm not sure at the moment. Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry. - Boss, are you OK? - l'm fine. - Sir... - Dad, watch out! - Hello, Liz. - Hello, Nick. Well, gosh, there you are. What do you know? ls there something going on here? Because l'm stunned to see you, but, er...you don't seem as stunned to see me. l mean, l haven't heard from you in, what, ten, eleven years? - All of a sudden on the very day... - Dad, l can explain why she's here. - Hallie, you know who this is? - Actually, yes. And, actually, l'm not Hallie. Actually, l am. Both of them? Annie? Hallie? l guess you and Mum think alike. You sent us to the same camp, and the whole thing just sort of spilled out. They switched places on us, Nick. l've had Annie with me all this time? l wanted to know what you were like, and Hallie wanted to know Mum, and... - Are you angry? - Oh, honey, of course not. l just can't believe it's you. Last time l saw you, you had diaper rash. You're all wet. - lt's all right. - Look at you! Well, l'm quite grown up now and quite without a father. And l'm headed into my crazy teenage years, and l won't have a mother to fight with. Hallie, you've been in London all this time? Come here, squirt. Mom's amazing, Dad. l don't know how you ever let her go. Girls, why don't you let your father and l talk alone, OK? - Sure, fine. - Take your time. l don't believe this. Seeing them together...seeing you. - Ow! - Let me help you with that. - Do you have a first aid kit? - Yeah, of course. Why don't you lie down? - Here you go. - Thanks. So...how are you, Lizzie? Or does everyone call you Elizabeth now? Oh, no, no. Lizzie's fine. My dad still calls me Lizzie. Yeah, l've been...been terrific. You know, you haven't changed a bit. Finally! There you are. Oh... Oh, good, you've met. Honey, Elizabeth designs wedding gowns. She's making...mine. Wait. l don't understand. How did you two meet? - And, Nicky, why are you all wet? - You're making her wedding gown? - l didn't know she was your fiance. - How did you two meet? - Am l missing something here? - This is one small world. - How small? - Hi, Mer. - Hello. - How you doin'? Honey, did l mention that Hallie was a twin? No, l'm afraid you forgot that little detail. Don't feel bad, Mer. He never told me, either. By the way, l'm Hallie. This is Annie. She was being me while l was being her. And this is our mother, Elizabeth James. - This is your mother? - Yes. - You were married to him? - Guilty again. - Well, this is a small world. - And getting smaller. And what a coincidence that we're all here on the same weekend. My, my, my! How sweet. Hal, l've had enough surprises for one day. Where are we going? You're gonna love it, Dad. Trust me. Hello. Hey. So...do you have any idea where they're taking us? - Not a clue. - Right. Where are we? This is where we're eating? No, actually, that's where we're eating. She's ours for the night. Wow! So, how exactly are we paying for this? - Well, we pooled our allowances. - Yeah, right, Annie. - OK, Grandfather chipped in a bit. - Annie. - OK, he chipped in a lot. - Come on. You'll love it. Pretty snazzy. Elizabeth and Nick, your dinner awaits you. Girls! The table's only set for two. Oh, that's the other part of the surprise. We're not joining you. - You're not? - No, but l am. Good evening. l'm Chessy. l'll be your server this evening. - No wisecracks, please. - And l'm Martin, your sommelier. May l offer you some bubbly, in the hope that you'll get schnockered and not fire this lovely lady and myself for following the orders of these audacious 11-year-olds? Annie, mood music, please. Just relax. Sail through time... back to yesteryear. - You do get all this, don't you? - Yes, l'm beginning to. They're recreating the night we met. - The boat, the music... - The help. - lt's so sweet. - l think l'll take that drink. Thank you, Martin. Oh, yeah. To tell you the truth, l haven't been on a boat since the QE2. Neither have l. - Well, then. Here's to... - Our daughters. Our daughters. Now l know how a goldfish feels. Some time, if we're ever really alone, maybe we could talk about what happened between us. lt all feels a bit hazy to me now. lt ended so fast. lt started so fast. Well, that part l remember perfectly. Things are heating up quite nicely. l'd say it's safe to serve the vichyssoise. You ladle, l'll serve. Yes, l'll...ladle... Right. And then l'll... - Serve? - Right. So, you've done fantastically well. Your dream of owning your own vineyard, it actually came true. What about you? You were always drawing on napkins and newspapers. - Now you're this major designer. - Yeah, it's great. - We both got where we wanted to go. - Yeah. We did. Anyway, what are we going to do about the girls? Well, we can't keep them apart. Well, l could keep them for half the year, then you... They can't go to two different schools. That's nuts. - l agree. - l could keep them for a year... Liz, that's why we came up with... Oh! Sorry. lgnore me. Enjoy your soup. That's why we have the solution that we have. Really? l thought it was because we decided not to see each other again. Not we, Liz. Well, that part's become a bit hazy to me, too. - Remember the day you packed? - That day l remember perfectly. Did l hurt you when l threw that...? What was it? - lt was a hairdryer. - Oh, right. Sorry. You know, l may never be alone with you again, so about that day that you packed...why'd you do it? Oh, Nick. We were so young and we both had tempers. We said stupid things, and so l packed. Got on my very first 747 and...you didn't come after me. l didn't know you wanted me to. Well, it really doesn't matter any more. So, let's put a good face on for the girls and get this show on the road. Yeah, sure. Let's get this show on the road. - Your passport. Have a safe trip. - Thank you. - All set, then. Where's Annie? - She's on her way down. Right. So, l'll send Hallie to you over Christmas. And Annie'll spend Easter with you? Annie, why are you in those clothes? Here's the deal, Mom. We think we're being totally gypped. Dad promised we'd go on our camping trip, and we wanna go...together. - What camping trip? - The one we go on every summer. - Annie, go and put your clothes on. - Sure l'm Annie? - Of course l'm sure! - 100% positive? Girls, this is totally unfunny. Your mother will miss her plane. - Annie! - Yes? This one's Hallie. l'm positive. l hope you're right, Dad. You wouldn't wanna send the wrong kid back to England... ..would you? Here's our proposition. We go back to Dad's house, pack our stuff, and the four of us go camping. - Four of us? - After, we'll tell you who's who. Or you do as we say, and l take one of you to London, like it or not. What am l supposed to do, sit home and knit? Honey, we have kind of a sticky situation. Sticky situation? What do you mean, sticky situation? Excuse me. What is she doing here? That's part of the deal. The four of us, we go together. Are you the Brady Bunch?! This is... - Hello. Everything all right? - Well, no, actually. lt isn't. l didn't realise that you were going on this outing. And l'm not sure that l'm OK with it. l agree. The ex-wife in the next sleeping bag is weird. - Thank you. - l insist that you come. Really. - Liz... - No, honestly, Nick. lt's the least l can do. Really. Please. Dad, what's Meredith doing here? Your mother invited her. - What?! - Be nice. OK, all set? Have fun, everyone. Liz, what are you doing? Well, you and Meredith need some time alone before the big day. - Mom, come on, that's not the plan. - You'll have more fun without me. Wait. lf you're not going, l don't have to go. l'm not a nature girl. But it's your chance to get to know the girls. Starting next week, they're half yours. Have fun, all of you. Bye. l would pay big money to see that woman climb a mountain. Come on, you guys. Oh! l'm gonna kill my trainer. He says l'm in great shape. l can't believe people do this for fun. - Hold on. We're stopping. - Again? At this rate, it'll take us three days just to get there. Meredith isn't used to the altitude. Just chill. OK? l'm in serious pain. Somebody hand me my Evian. l can't move. Sure. Brilliant. Here you go, Mer. Honey, you OK? What happened? This guy was on her Evian bottle. - Oh, he won't hurt you, Mer. - Oh, right, right, right. l know. You...go ahead. l'll be fine. Get it away from me! l hate things that crawl! How can you touch that? - Just put it down. - OK, OK. l'll put it down. - Girls? - What? l'm taking the lead. The two of you help Meredith, all right? Sure you'll help me. Right over a cliff, you'll help me. - Not a bad idea. - Yeah, see any cliffs? - My backpack... - Need a hand, Mer? Not from you. Don't think l can't see right past those angelic faces. One more trick and l promise l will make your lives miserable from the day l say, l do. Got it? Got it, Cruella. What did you call me? - Nothing, nothing. Not a thing. - Cruella. Oh, by the way, Mer, l think there's something on your head. You all right? What happened? Ask...them. What did we do, Dad? We were right behind you. - This is really good. - Yeah, l know. Here we go, girls. This'll hold us for a while. Sure you don't want some trout, Mom? ls that OK, to call you Mom? l think your mother would prefer Meredith. And no, thank you, l do not eat trout, for the thousandth time. l'll wait until breakfast. What are we having? Trout. - lt's part of the experience. - What's the other part? Being eaten to death by mosquitoes? You'd think they like this stuff! Well, what's that you're using? Here, let me see that. You'll attract every mosquito with sugar and water. Where'd you get it? That's it. l am taking one large sleeping pill and going to bed. Meredith? What are you doing? l don't want mountain lions to... There are no mountain lions up here, are there? No. Good night. Girls, l'm telling you - lay off. This isn't her thing. l'm not marrying her because she's Annie Oakley. - Who's Annie Oakley? - Just cool it. - Come on! Come on! - OK. l hope that one large sleeping pill worked. - You take that side. - All right. - Gosh, she's heavy. - She's also, like, snoring. Nicky? Sweet dreams, Mommie dearest. That feels nice. Nicky! Oh, man! - What's going on? - Here's what's going on, buddy! The day we get married, l ship those brats off to Switzerland. Get the picture? lt's me or them. Take your pick. Them. - Excuse me? - T-H-E-M. Them. Get the picture? Hello. You're back so soon. - Did you have fun? - l wouldn't say fun. - You wouldn't? - We're punished for a century. Starting now. Go. - Where's Meredith? - We played some harmless tricks and she freaked out a little. A little? Hmm! She threw this at my head. At least it's smaller than a hair dryer. lt's my fault. lf l hadn't suggested she go... Oh, tricked. Tricked would be more like it. Like mother, like daughters. - l really am sorry. - We are, too, Dad. Really. Up to your room. Now. l gotta remember to thank them one day. So, where's Chessy? l'm starving. Well, she and Martin went off on a picnic around noon...yesterday. Really? Who would've thought? My nanny, your butler. So, shall l whip up something to eat? - You can cook now? - Oh, yeah, l can make pasta... - and pasta and... - Pasta sounds good. Well, pasta it is. OK, l'll take two. - Hey, Dad. - Wow, you look so nice. - Where are you going? - Good night, ladies. - Wow! - This is my private stash. - Did you know l also collect wine? - Really? Mm-hmm. l'm a man of limited interests. Come here. This is a 1921 Burgundy. They say the rain that year made this the best Burgundy ever harvested. Now, you will appreciate this. Come here. Look. VJ Day, 1945? - That's incredible. - l love that. Now, this wine was served at my parents' wedding. A Bordeaux, '52. l think my sister was conceived on this baby. What's this one? ''Where dreams have no end. 1983''. - That one took years to track down. - Why? Where's it from? lt's the wine that we drank at our wedding. l now have every bottle ever made. You do? l do. - Can we open one? - l'd only drink it with you. - You OK? - Oh, yeah. - Just a little dust in my eye. - Want a clean sleeve? No, l'm fine, really. All better. You don't always have to be so brave. Oh, but l do, actually. That will be Chessy. She has a key. Hello? Anybody home? We'll be right up. Oh, every time We say goodbye l die a little Every time We say goodbye l wonder why a little Why the gods above me Who must be in the know Think so little of me... - Take care of yourself. - Yeah, l will. You, too. Bye. - l love you. - l love you, too. l can hear A lark somewhere Begins to sing about it There's no love song finer But how strange the change From major to minor Every time We say goodbye Hello? We're home. - Grandfather? - l'll check the study. Hey, stranger. Hey, Mom, did you know that Concorde takes half the time? Yes, l've heard that. What are you doing here? lt took 30 seconds for us to realise we didn't wanna lose you two again. We? We. l made the mistake of not coming after you once. l won't do that again, no matter how brave you are. And you expect me to go weak at the knees fall into your arms and say, We'll just figure this out. A bi-continental relationship with our girls raised here and there... and you and l just picking up where we left off... and growing old together and... and... Come on, Nick, what do you expect? To live happily ever after? Yes. To all of the above. Except you don't have to cry hysterically. Oh, yes, l do. We actually did it. This will be An everlasting love This will be The one l've waited for This will be The first time anyone has loved me, oh l'm so glad He found me in time And l'm so glad that He rectified my mind This will be An everlasting love for me, whoa Loving you ls some kind of wonderful Because you've shown me Just how much you care You've given me the thrill of a lifetime And made me believe you've got more thrills to spare, oh This will be An everlasting love Oh, yes, it will now You've brought a lot of sunshine into my life You've filled me with happiness l never knew You gave me more joy than l ever dreamed of And no one, no one can take the place of you This will be You and me Yes, siree Eternally Huggin' and squeezin' and kissin' and pleasin' Together forever, through rain or whatever Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You and me So long as l'm livin', true love l'll be givin' To you l'll be servin' cause you're so deservin' Hey, you're so deservin' From now on From now on, yeah From now on From now on, yeah...