The Egg


 * INSCPECTION! Hmm.


 * Look, honey, I still fit into my wedding tux! (little bit winding)


 * RIchard, there's a mirror behind you.


 * Aww, it never used to be there.


 * Okay, I guess I have to ask: what?


 * Respect yo!


 * No, I said you have to look respect-able. Just go put something sensible on. NORMALLY! I said act natural, not au naturale


 * Oh...


 * Too serious?


 * I can understand this kind of stuff from them because... what's a nice way to put it? They're half wits. But you're better than that! So could you please wear something sensible?


 * No.


 * Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Okay that's better.


 * Ugh, why do I have to do my hair like this? It's like trying to groom a coconut. Yes, of course, you made that point very clear.


 * Okay, now how will you great her? A simple handshake will do. Come on!


 * I just don't perform well under pressure.


 * It's simple: she comes in, you say hello, shake your hand vertically, take her coat, Richard take your finger out of your nose, and offer her a refreshment.

,, , and : Ah?


 * If in doubt, do exactly the opposite of what you'd normally do. Am I clear?


 * No. Who's coming over?


 * Look, to get ahead in life sometime you have to meet the right people.


 * What kind of people?


 * You know what we are? The opposite of that. So for once can we please pretend we are not a bunch of savages - Richard, stop picking your nose with your toes!


 * But you said to get my finger out of my nose.


 * Oh, welcome Felicity.


 * I prefer Miss Parham.


 * Sorry, you can call me Mrs. Waterson.


 * Of course... Nicole.


 * I don't believe you've met my family.


 * Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh, Oh-Oh, Oh!


 * Don't worry Billy it's a really good hospi--TAAAAAAAL!!!


 * Just get in!

and :


 * Dah, please come in. Richard, that's not for you. Ah, why don't you pour a drink for miss Parham?


 * Mother, these people scare me, so... I tell, which is to be my playdate?


 * Billy, please meet my daughter Anais.


 * Playdate?!


 * Yes, playdate!


 * Half price, lower two points, buy one get one free, two for one and double discount.


 * That comes that the store's owing you 50 cents.


 * Mother, why is that woman trying to pay for her groceries with scraps of newspaper?


 * She probably didn't study hard at school, dear.


 * Oh, what a charming little boy, he seems very clever for his age. I am - I have a very intelligent daughter, actually.


 * Oh yes, I'm sure she must be a little genius.


 * She's certified. I've got the papers to prove it.


 * Oh, interesting. I have been trying to find an appropriate playdate for Billy.


 * Why don't you guys come over for lunch?


 * Oh, that's very kind of you, but first I've a few questions: what does your husband do? So you're the self-employed husband, I suppose it makes sense. Who else would employ you?


 * Ahah, Richard is the best at what he does. Say something self-employed-ish.


 * Hmm, boss, can I have the day off? The day off? Take the rest of the year off, you're fired! No, please! This is all I have! Nicole... I have some bad news..


 * Ahaha, oh, you! This is Gumball and Darwin. Darwin used to be a goldfish, but through love, care and of course parenting skills became a goldfish with legs! Show 'em, sweety.


 * That's my leg and there's one more where that came from.


 * Very nice.


 * And this is Gumball, who can...


 * Who can do this!


 * Anybody hungry?


 * I really would like to break the ice but I've no idea what to say.


 * Oh, me too. I've been twiddling my thumbs under the table for ages trying to think of something.


 * Allow me to introduce myself: I am William Jeffrey Fitzgerald Kitchener Parham III. Other you can call me Billy.


 * And I am Anais.


 * Anais to meet you.


 * It's Billy nice to meet you, too.


 * Not as quite good, but good effort.


 * Gumball!


 * What? Wrong spoon?


 * No, it's a back scratcher.


 * You said to use the fancy cutlery!


 * Kids...


 * Your kids...


 * Richard, you've got something on your chin. No, the other one. No, the middle one.


 * Well this is an educational experience, but we should probably go before the car gets stolen.


 * No, wait, you can't go yet, you'll miss the... uh, song, that Gumball and Darwin are gonna sing for you.


 * We are?!


 * Yes! What a good idea!


 * Okay-


 * Okay-


 * This is a brand new-


 * This is a classic-


 * Classic-


 * New-


 * Tune-


 * Song- hm, tune. I was walking down the road one day, and I saw a big parade. It was green and had things in it, like balloons and more balloons, fourteen hours-


 * I know, I love them, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one around that still-


 * -feels in contact with reality?


 * I was gonna say "the only one is not", but yeah, you pretty took out the words out of my mouth.


 * and happiness, together, that's why we smile forever.


 * And they did all that without rehearsing.


 * As you can see the arts are very important to our family.


 * Look, Nicole, I get it. You dropped out of college to marry your childhood sweetheart and life was fun until, whoops, your first disappointment, so there you are working all hours to support your family while lover-boy over there is busy growing chins, then, whoops, another disappointment, followed by a third that you still dream is better than the others, I get it. You know you'll never succeed so you want your kids to succeed for you. You hope that being friends with someone like me will help you climb that ladder, but you're living a lie. You're not good enough, they're not good enough, you've either got it or you haven't, and you haven't, so just be happy with who you really are.


 * Fair enough, you wanna see who I really am?


 * This is probably the first time I've had a civilized conversation with anyone in this house.


 * I concur, most social interaction with people of my age's just mere pitiful and whimsy, but with you it's.. it's...


 * Insightful!


 * Delightful!


 * A Positive joy!


 * Mom, MOM!


 * Come on, this is not the first time you see me chew someone else.


 * No, not that, that!


 * This is your fault!


 * No, your fault!


 * This is both of your faults!. They knew you'll never let them be together so they ran away! But if you wanna find them you are gonna have to work together.


 * Quick, get in the car.


 * No, we're taking mine. I can't be seen in that heap of junk.


 * Please, come on, we gotta work together. Like this.


 * He means...


 * Oh.


 * I'm sorry, you're not getting me in that car.


 * Challenge accepted.


 * Uh, do you wanna me to roll down the window?


 * Just a few more times. Okay that'll do. They wouldn't have gone to the museum.


 * No they wouldn't have gone to the library.


 * The museum!


 * The library!


 * THE MUSEUM!


 * Alright, enough! Just in case you haven't noticed we haven't gone anywhere for 15 minutes! And if you can't agreed then I'll deal with it. (?) your heads. Okay, I don't actually know how to make this thing move, so we're gonna run!


 * This is your daughter's influence. Billy has never misbehaved before.


 * 'Cause you're so overbearing, I mean the kid looks like an egg, I bet you even sit on him, you suffocator.


 * Call me that one more time.


 * Suffocator.


 * Dad, step in!


 * Son, when a new mother enters the (?), she test the boundaries of the matriarch dominance.


 * What is that?


 * Oh, that's just territorial sign marking.


 * So what do we do?


 * Just stand back and witness how beautiful and scary nature can be.


 * There they are!


 * Where?

Over th-


 * Dude, we haven't got all day, come on! Guys, listen, you don't have to run away.


 * We didn't run.


 * We walked, sensibly.


 * No, you guys ran away because our two families were standing between your love.


 * What do you mean "love"?


 * Well, we do finish each other's-


 * Conversational sets of words that contain a subject, verb and statement. Oh, and we both love-


 * Russian literature.


 * And german electronic music.


 * And existentialism.


 * And (?) modern architecture.


 * And japanese cuisine.


 * And Daisy the donkey!


 * Ahahah, in a ironically, of course.


 * What? No, I love Daisy.


 * Oh, I am Daisy, the incarnation of the dumbing down of the whole nation of children, or cash or merchandising.


 * What show do you watch?


 * Fireman Pete, of course.


 * Sorry Billy but that's deal-breaker.


 * Oh, thank Gosh, I won't have to pretend to like you.