Krabby Patties

(At the Krusty Krab restaurant, SpongeBob SquarePants bursts open the kitchen door.)

SpongeBob: Your makeking to out of ''crab! (The customers gasp in horror. A green fish retches and spits out his bits from his Krabby Patty.)''

Mr. Krabs: Ha-ha! Everybody knows Krabby Patties are me family's secret recipe, boy.

SpongeBob: Then, explain this! (holds out a box with some crab legs in it) You said you fired Carl the night janitor, but this is his TATTOO! (Holds a crab leg that says "Born 2 Lose" and the camera zooms in on it. Mr. Krabs grabs him by the shirt.)

Mr. Krabs: You little yellow bastard... I treated you like a son, me boy!

(SpongeBob pushes him aside)

SpongeBob: And it's not just crabs. (turns to Squidward, eating calamari rings) Squidward, those calamari rings are SQUID! (Squidward vomits) And your Chicken-of-the-Sea salad?! Ha! Tuna! Chicken-of-the-Sea is TUNA! (A yellow fish gasps in horror and pushes the bowl just out of her reach. The customers mob around Mr. Krabs.)

Green Fish: You fed us to us!

Orange Fish: Are we paying you to kill us?! (points at Mr. Krabs)

SpongeBob: You're disgusting!

Mr. Krabs: No... I'm the last honest man in Bikini Bottom. We're all animals, boys and girls. Eating each other is what nature intended. (The customers beat him up, and the camera pans away to SpongeBob.)

SpongeBob: (sighs) I'm just glad nothing disgusting happens to a sponge.

(At a hospital, a morbidly obese man sits on a bed with a nurse at his side.]

Nurse: Okay, just gotta scrub deep within your rolls of fat and we're done. (Begins scrubbing with a sponge, SpongeBob abruptly pushes the scene aside)

SpongeBob: I said "Nothing disgusting ever happens to a sponge!"

(A splat is heard offscreen)

Nurse: (moans briefly) I hope that's pudding in there... (Spongebob is seen with a weird look on his face)

(static)