Two Brains Forgets

Narrator: In the laboratory lair of the villainous Dr. Two-Brains, two criminal masterminds play a sinister game.

(The henchmen are playing cards.)

Unnamed henchman: Do you have any fours? (The other henchman, Charlie, shakes his head.)

Unnamed henchman; Liar! You do so! I can see them in the mirror! You cheated! (Charlie shakes his head again) Did too! Did too!

Dr. Two-Brains: Agh! Will you two please stop  quarrel ing? I don’t want to have to separate you two again!

Unnamed henchman: Sorry boss.

Dr. Two-Brains: Now, get over here and bask in the glory of my latest cutting-edge creation, the one I call-- the Really Big Mechanical Ear! With this giant ear, I’ll be able to listen in on every conversation in the city! I’ll find out about exotic cheese tastings… stinky cheese contests… cheese rolling marathons… and then, steal the cheese before the events begin! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Unnamed henchman: Yup, it’s an ear all right.

(Two-Brains works with the controls for the mechanical ear. Different conversations can be heard.)

Mechanical Ear: “Does this dress make me look fat?” “What do you think of trees?” “I love ‘em!” “Dana gets the pig farm.” “So we’re all in agreement. We’ll hold the vintage cheese tasting next Saturday at noon!”

Dr. Two-Brains: Woo-hoo! Yes, yes I’ll be there! Just have to find out where.

Mechanical Ear: “... right here at the Civic Center! Meeting adjourned!”

Dr. Two-Brains: Ex-cellent! Now, my handy map machine should tell me the exact coordinates of the Civic Center!

(The Unnamed Henchman reaches over and fiddles with the controls for the Mechanical Ear.)

Mechanical Ear: “...Bob, you can’t be serious! Yes, I’m serious that you can’t be serious! I mean, seriously Bob…”

Dr. Two-Brains: Hmm… there’s something about that high-pitched voice, that authoritative tone… it’s so familiar… could it possibly be…?

Mechanical Ear: “...You can’t possibly want new WordGirl and Huggy uniforms!”

Dr. Two-Brains: It is… it IS WordGirl! And that monkey fellow!

Mechanical Ear: “Look Bob, we considered a lot of designs for our uniforms, and what we have now is for the best. Okay? C’mon, let’s not  quarrel .” “Becky-- Bob-- TJ, it’s time for dinner!” “OK, Mom!”

Dr. Two-Brains: Ooh! Did you hear that? WordGirl’s secret  identity  is a girl named Becky! And with help from my map machine, I can tell where she lives! Prepare to meet Dr. Two-Brains, Becky! Or should I call you… WordGirl?! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

Narrator: Meanwhile, the Botsfords are in the middle of a leisurely family meal.

Mrs. Botsford: So, family, what’s new?

TJ: I want a new sister! One that’s cool like WordGirl!

Mrs. Botsford: That’s nice, dear. Becky?

Becky: Um, let’s see… I got a C in art class on my painting of William Shakespeare!

Mrs. Botsford: Good work!

Mr. Botsford: And a fine president he was!

(Bob is building a hut out of bean pods.)

Mr. Botsford: Now, Bob… any decent cabin needs to have a fence around it. Here!

(The door bell rings.)

Mrs. Botsford: I’ll get it! (Walks to the door and opens it.) Oh! It’s Dr. Two-Brains!

(Becky drops her fork.)

Mr. Botsford: Dr. Two-Brains? Really?

Dr. Two-Brains: Yes, it’s me, Dr. Two-Brains, the truly evil super-villain with an urgent announcement to make!

Mr. Botsford: Well, come on in!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, well, okay, but only for a minute. Should I take my shoes off? Uh, regarding your daughter, Becky--

Mrs. Botsford: Isn’t this exciting, dear? A real live supervillain!

Mr. Botsford: It sure is!

Dr. Two-Brains: Your daughter is-- (Becky and Bob gasp)

Mr. Botsford: You know, I never would have guessed he was evil, he’s seems so normal!

Mrs. Botsford: I know, I know!

Dr. Two-Brains: (attempting to talk over them) Mr. and Mrs. Botsford, I demand you pay attention-- your dau-- your dau-- YOUR DAUGHTER BECKY IS WORDGIRL!

''ITJ and her parents stare at her for a few seconds. Then, they all start laughing.)''

TJ: Yeah right!

Becky: Ha, ha! Not true!

Dr. Two-Brains: No really! I am serious!

Mr. Botsford: Wow! An evil villain, AND a sense of humor! (continues laughing)

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, I just love it! Please, Dr. Two-Brains, join us for dinner!

Becky: Mom!

Mrs. Botsford: A good meal will help you bring you to your senses! (leads him to the table)

Dr. Two-Brains: I assure you there’s nothing wrong with my senses! I can prove your daughter is-- (sniffing) ooh, hey, is that macaroni and cheese? (dumps it all onto his plate, and starts eating with the serving spoon)

Mr. Botsford: Yes, indeedy!

Dr. Two-Brains: Look, I can prove that she is WordGirl! Mmm… cheddar, delicious. For instance, how come you never see WordGirl and Becky in the same place? Salt, please.

Mr. and Mrs. Botsford (together): hmm…

TJ: Oh, I know! Because WordGirl is too cool to be seen with a geek like my sister?

Mrs. Botsford: Now TJ, that’s not nice!

Dr. Two-Brains: Okay, then how come they look so much alike? Hm, hmm? Same height, same weight, same face--

TJ: Nooo, they don’t look anything alike!

Mr. Botsford: TJ’s right, WordGirl has that red outfit and cape. Becky has no cape. Hello?!

Dr. Two-Brains: (getting frustrated) Don’t you find it odd that both WordGirl and Becky have identical monkey sidekicks?

Mr. Botsford: Oh, that’s ridiculous! Bob can’t be a superhero sidekick, he’s afraid of spiders! Or is that me?

Mrs. Botsford: It’s you, dear.

Becky: Uh, interesting idea, Doctor, but I’m afraid you’re quite mistaken! (Starts laughing awkwardly.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha, ha ha! Oh, am I? You really think I’m mistaken about your secret iden- (pretending to be confused) um...identu… identi… oh, what is that word…

Becky: Identi-- (starts to give the correct word, then stops herself) ...I mean, I don’t know, I’m not sure!

Dr. Two-Brains: Ah yes, I have it! You really think I’m mistaken about your true identi-fa-my?

Becky: (gags at the sound of the wrong word)

Mrs. Botsford: Identifamy… what’s that?

Dr. Two-Brains: Identifamy. It means a set of traits which defines a person or thing!

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, right.

Dr. Two-Brains: Right… Becky?

Becky; ummm… let me look it up in the dictionary!

Dr. Two-Brains: (grumbling to himself) Hrmph… Dictionary!

Mrs. Botsford: See, she can’t be WordGirl. She doesn’t even know what identifamy means!

Becky: (looking in the dictionary) Ah, there’s no such word as “identifamy”! The word YOU were looking for is  identity ! It means who or what you are, what makes you different from everybody else, what makes you you.

Dr. Two-Brains: Ah yes…  identity . How clumsy of me. Well, I guess I was wrong. There’s no way your daughter could possibly be WordGirl.

Mr. Botsford: But thanks for the great laugh!

Dr. Two-Brains: Anytime! And thank you for a delicious dinner. Next time, less mac, more cheese.

Mrs. Botsford: You’re welcome. Come again, don’t be a stranger!

Becky: Mom!

(As Two-Brains stands in front of the table, he grabs the tablecloth and whips it off the table, causing everything to go flying. Becky instinctively jumps into action, using super-speed to catch the plates, glasses, utensils and serving bowl before they can hit the ground. After gathering everything up, she smiles triumphantly, then realizes what she’s done)

Becky: Oops.

Narrator: Big oops!

(Her family is staring at her in disbelief.)

Mrs. Botsford: Oh! My… stars! Becky really IS WordGirl!

TJ: Huh?-- NOOOO! Becky’s WordGirl? I can’t-- (starts gasping for air)

Becky: No, wait no, I’m not, Me? Ha-ha-ha! That’s really-- you know what that is? That’s funny! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Mrs. Botsford: But, honey… you’re flying!

Becky: Uh-- but that was, uh… a trick! Yes, a trick! I learned it in, uh… magic class!

Mrs. Botsford: But honey, you don’t take a magic class!

Becky: No, but I’ve always… wanted too!

Dr. Two-Brains: Mind if I cut in? (Pulls out a can of sprays cheese and sprays it on them. Soon, the whole family is trapped in a cheesy web.)

Mr. Botsford: Hey, is this-- string cheese?

Dr. Two-Brains: Yuh-huh!

Mr. Botsford: You know, I like how you stick to this whole cheese theme.

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, thank you for noticing, it’s not always easy, believe you me-- HEY! No more small talk! Back to my lair! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Scene: Dr. Two-Brains’ lair)

Narrator: Back at Two-Brains’ lair, the evil doctor is unveiling the latest in mad scientist gadgetry.

Dr. Two-Brains: Yes, it looks like your ordinary super-slick space ray with titanium finish, but-- its lightning-quick, amnesia-causing rays can erase a person’s memory in seconds!-- Are you guys listening?

Mr. Botsford: I’m sorry, we’re still a little shocked that our daughter is WordGirl!

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, pull it together! This is some great evil plot-explaining I’m doing here!

Mrs. Botsford: Go ahead-- we’re listening!

Dr. Two-Brains: Now, after I turn this ray on Becky, she’ll forget all about her annoying crime-fighting tendencies, and remain just Becky… mild-mannered fifth grader with a great vocabulary! Never again will I have to worry about WordGirl ruining my cheese heists! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Becky: (whispeing) Look guys, I have a plan!

TJ: And to think, I was president of WordGirl’s fan club! Which makes me president of YOUR fan club! Ewww!

Becky; TJ, I need your help!

TJ: Nothing doing!

Becky: I mean, WordGirl needs your help!

TJ: Neither of you are getting anything from me, and now that I know your true  identity , I’m giving you back all my WordGirl stuff! My official WordGirl fan club card, my lucky WordGirl rabbit’s foot, my cereal box decoder ring,

Becky: TJ, this is no time to  quarrel !

TJ: I’m not  quarrel ing, I’m arguing!

Becky:  Quarrel , argue, bicker… they all mean the same thing!

TJ: Mom! Becky’s WordGirl-ing me again!

(Two-Brains aims the ray at them.)

Becky: Uh-oh! WORD UP! (transforms)

Mr. Botsford: Look Sally, it’s our little girl as WordGirl! Hi honey! (waves)

Mrs. Botsford: Makes me so proud!

WordGirl: Everyone SCATTER! Dr. Two-Brains won’t be able to capture all of us if we split up!

Mrs. Botsford: (to Tim) C’mon, honey! You heard our little superhero daughter! It’s time to scatter! (runs off)

Mr. Botsford: Okie-dokie! (runs off, as TJ continues to throw WordGirl memorabilia from his pockets.)

(Two-Brains keeps trying to zap them, but they are moving two fast.)

Mrs. Botsford: Peek-a-boo! (giggles) Oh, this is so much fun!

Dr. Two-Brains: (to Tim Botsford) Hey! No playing with the mechanical ear!

Mr. Botsford: Oh, sorry!

Dr. Two-Brains: (to henchmen) What are you doing?! (They are both fighting over one of the WordGirl dolls that TJ discarded.) GET WORDGIRL!

(Charlie, the taller henchman, grabs WordGirl from the air and holds her against him.)

Mrs. Botsford: Leave my daughter alone!

WordGirl: Um, Mom? I can handle it! (Breaks free)

TJ: And another thing, Becky! You can take back your stinky WordGirl boomerang!

(TJ tosses the boomerang toward her. She dodges it, and it hits the ray gun, moving it slightly so that it is pointing at a mirror. The ray gun then activate, and the beam splits, hitting Mrs. Botsford, Mr. Botsford, TJ, and the henchmen. One of the rays was moving toward Huggy, but WordGirl snatches him up in time. The ray then ends up hitting Dr. Two-Brains.)

Mr. Botsford: Hey, where are we?

Mrs. Botsford: And what happened to dinner?

TJ: (walks toward WordGirl and notices her) WordGirl! My hero!

WordGirl: TJ! You saved the day!

TJ: I did? Really??

Mr. Botsford: Hey, has anyone seen Becky?

WordGirl: (laughs) Don’t look at me, ha-ha-ha!

Dr. Two-Brains: What’s going on? Where am I? Who am I? (to WordGirl) Who are you? Who is everybody?

WordGirl: You mean, you don’t remember your  identity ?

Dr. Two-Brains: Umm… nope. Wow, look at all this cool stuff!

Narrator: So once again, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face saved the day from the forces of evil, keeping their secret  identities  safe for now!

Dr. Two-Brains: (looking in the mirror) Why do I have a mouse brain stuck to my head?!

Narrator: Don’t forget to join us again soon for another amazing episode of WordGirl!