The Stray

(Scene opens on a bleak planet, the upper half showing a town reminiscent of Victorian-era London, the lower half showing a desert. Zoom in on the clock tower; it chimes weakly; tilt down slowly through the landscape until we stop on the street as the citizens do their business. In the center is an alleyway; here, we see a small, lavender cat, looking sad and holding a severed stuffed bear in her right paw and a bunch of mud in the left, and a "Mud 4 Sail" sign stands next to her. In close-up, someone walks by her and she meows; but is unnoticed.)

(Cut to just over her head; in the distance stands a shocked Wander and a grumpy Sylvia. Zoom in on his face; snap to the cat's face, whose violet eyes have dilated, and her mouth quivers in turn. Back to Wander's face; his eyes have dilated as well, also sporting green irises, and his mouth quivers. Extreme close-up of the cat's face as her eyes tear; back to Wander's as his behave the same way...)

Sylvia: (offscreen) Layin' it on a little thick, isn't she?

(...but shrink back to their normal state upon hearing this. Widen to frame her next to him; he gasps.)

Wander: (appalled) Sylvia!!

Sylvia: (scoffs) I'm sorry, but... (mocking, slightly babyish) the goo goo eyes, the trembling widdle lip... (normal) Blegh!

(Snap to black; after which thunder crashes and lightning briefly shows the cat. When it clears, it is now raining, her fur and clothes in a waterlogged mess; and her makeup running on her face. She has ditched the mud in her left paw; Back to Wander and Sylvia, the former turns toward her and gives her his sad eyes, sporting the green irises from earlier, and he whimpers in turn.)

Sylvia: (sighs) Okay.

(Excited, he grabs her reins; the camera follows him, quavering and running at top speed with Sylvia dragged behind him. Close-up on the cat, the space around her clears up, which gets her attention. Widen to reveal Wander using his hat as an umbrella; Sylvia stands next to him, arms folded.)

Wander: Hey, Little Bits. Need some help?

(In close-up, she looks down at her growling stomach and nods. Wander quavers excitedly; cut to Sylvia, rolling her eyes wearily at this unexpected addition. Back to Wander and the cat, named "Little Bits", she is smiling.)

Wander: This little kitty's gonna get... (Zoom out, he puts his hat on her head.) whatever she wants!

(The title card appears, glowing slightly. Freeze-frame.)

(Snap to a house shaped like a teapot; cut to a close-up of Little Bits, dried off and slurping from a bowl. She has doffed Wander's hat; widen to frame the trio at a booth. She is on the left, standing on a pile of books; Sylvia sits in the center, a mug in one hand. Wander is on the right, hands laid up against his cheeks and his hat back on his head.)

Sylvia: (lowly) You've gotta be kidding me.

Wander: (angrily) Sylvia, be nice! (happily, to Little Bits) Now, sweetie pie, tell us where your whelping box is and we'll take you on home!

(He smiles and waits; Little Bits' only response is to shake her head sadly. Wander gasps in shock.)

Wander: You don't have a whelping box? Where does your mama cat live? (Another head shake, he gasps) You don't have a mama cat?! Who takes care of your litter mates? (Head shake.) Any pet sitters? (Head shake.) Kindly neighbors? (Head shake.) Concerned veterinarians? (Head shake.) Groomers? (Head shake.) Milk men? (Head shake.) Sympathetic dogs next door?! (Head shake.)

Sylvia: Do you have anyone to take care of you? A distant relative, or perhaps a kooky cat lady?

(Cut to just behind her head as Little Bits smiles and nods. Wander gasps; cut to Little Bits as he pops out of her bowl.)

Wander: (gasps) Where are they? Can you show us the way to 'em?

(She nods; cut to a close-up of Sylvia.)

Sylvia: Great! So we'll call you a cab and you can — (Wander rounds on her.)

Wander: SYLVIA! We can't send a defenseless... (Close-up on Little Bits, he continues offscreen.) ...lil' ball of fluff like this out alone! (Wide shot, he is now standing on the floor.) Come on, Little Bits! (She gets out of her seat, he takes her paw and walks offscreen.) We're taking you to a distant relative or perhaps a kooky cat lady!

(Snap to black.)

(The darkness resolves into the wall of an alleyway as the camera pans slowly to frame a long shot of the town. Wander holds Little Bits' paw as he walks through; Sylvia follows up behind. Their big shadows are cast on the buildings as they walk.)

Sylvia: Just sayin', when I was your size, I already had a good job scraping grazz bits out of plasma cores.

(Close-up on the three; Little Bits sneezes, stopping everyone. She sniffs and rubs her nose; in close-up, Wander rounds on her, grabbing her cheeks as he gasps.)

Wander: Oh my gosh, she's catching a cold!! (She sniffs; he grabs Sylvia's cheeks.) Sylvia, we have to warm her up immediately!

Sylvia: Jeez, calm down! We'll just get her a – (We hear the sound of knitting.) Warm orange fur coat?

(Cut to Little Bits, she now wears an orange fur coat with a hem that looks like Wander's fur skirt. Zoom out to frame Wander, he is knitting something from his own fur, leaving a bald skin underneath.)

Wander: How's that, sugar lump?

(The fur resolves into an orange ski cap, and he puts it on her head. She blushes and giggles, and he takes her paw and leads her away. Pan to Sylvia, she lays a hand on her chin.)

Sylvia: Hmmmm... (She walks off.)

(Dissolve to an overview of the trio, walking through the town until they cross over the limits, entering the desert. Dissolve to a pronounced curvature, the town slides away and several desert hills pass. Dissolve to the landscape; the three walk forward in the distance, as shadows first, but resolving into themselves. Wander now acquires a dark brown potato sack, worn as a dress to cover his bald spot, and Little Bits holds his hand. Sylvia follows up from behind.)

Sylvia: You sure we're headin' the right way, fuzzball? (Close-up on Little Bits, she nods.) 'Cuz we just left the only town on this entire planet, so...

(She meows; all come to a stop. Wander rounds on her and gasps.)

Wander: Oh, no! What's wrong?

(Close-up on Little Bits, she lifts up one foot and looks at it, and meows sadly. Zoom out, Wander rushes up to her.)

Wander: Oh, no! Your poor exposed little footsies! How could we have been so insensitive?! Sylvia, we're monsters!!

Sylvia: (rolling eyes, sarcastically) Oh, I'm sure our gifts of food and clothing have scarred her for life. (sighs) You want me to carry her?

Wander: (offscreen) What's your preferred style, ma'am?

(Widen to show Wander carrying Little Bits on his back.)

Wander: Piggyback? (Gets down on all fours.) Horsey-saddle? (Jogs in place.) Fireman carry? (She sits in the pouch of his sack.) Kangaroozle? Anything?! Just let me know what 'cha want!

(We hear strange theremin music as Wander's mood changes; he holds Little Bits up to eye level; close on the two, zooming in slowly; Little Bits' eyes dilate, as do Wander's. She looks down, and Wander follows suit. Long moment of silence.)

(Snap to an extreme close-up of Little Bits' feet, now sporting Wander's shoes. Zoom out, Wander still has his socks on, which are dirty. Both are now walking across a thorny landscape, and Wander steps on them grunting in pain with sniffs in between. Zoom out framing Sylvia.)

Sylvia: Wander, buddy, at least let me carry you...

Wander: (between grunts/sniffs) Naw-uh... (looking at her) Gotta keep a close eye... on our girl... (raises head) just in case... (gasps) Watch out!

(He instantly zips away. Cut to a mud puddle as Wander jumps into it, belly first. Little Bits walks up and giggles, then crosses him as a bridge and hops on his head in close-up. Cut to Sylvia as she approaches and bends down, then stands up with the muddy Wander. Widen to frame Little Bits as she skips away, giggling. Close on the two.)

Sylvia: Wander, we need to talk.

Wander: Isn't she adorable?

(We hear screaming which startles them; cut to just behind their heads, showing shadows of Little Bits and a monster. Zoom in, the monster resembles that of a giant bulldog, and both are holding Little Bits' bear by either arm. She struggles hard, but the monster manages to rip the bear out of her grip and run into its cave. Little Bits lies down on the ground and cries; Close on Wander and Sylvia as the former rushes out of frame.)

Sylvia: Wander, don't!

(Not listening, Wander runs into the cave. We hear violent growling and fighting noises as the scene cuts to a cringing Sylvia. Back to the cave, Wander flies out, bear in hand. He bounces across the ground and lands next to Little Bits, belly first; Sylvia has joined them. He holds up the bear, Little Bits laughs and applauds, then grabs the bear out of his grip and speaks indistinctly, before throwing it out of frame. Brief shot of the cave as it bounces back inside; back to the three as Wander stands up, his hat and potato sack deranged and his fur slightly disheveled.)

Wander: Huh, she likes this game!

(Panting, he walks offscreen; the scene vibrates as we hear the fighting noises and Sylvia cringes. Wander bounces back and holds up the bear; Little Bits applauds and grabs it, before throwing it yet again. Sylvia growls as Wander stands up, appearance more deranged, then pants as he runs off. Sylvia cringes as the scene vibrates and the fighting noises plays, and Wander bounces into the scene, holding up the bear. He now sports two black eyes, and Little Bits grabs her bear and shouts excitedly, ready to throw. Sylvia takes it from her.)

Sylvia: Alright, that's enough! (She tries to reach for it.) Yeah, I don't think so, Missy, ya had enough fun with Wander. Now take us to your kooky cat lady or whatever. Wander ain't got nine lives, y'know!

(In close-up, Little Bits stomps her foot and scowls, while folding her arms angrily. Sylvia leans into the scene to stare her down, and she growls. She walks out of frame; widen as she takes Wander's hand and leads him off.)

Wander: (exhausted) She's so cute when she's angry! (now offscreen, sighs)

Sylvia: (Walks off, under breath) Muh, This is why I don't have pets.

(Crossfade to wafting smoke; it is now nighttime. Tilt downwards slowly to the landscape.)

Wander: (offscreen) And now I know all 17 of Lord Hater's secret tickle points.

(On the latter part of this line, we stop on the trio now sitting around a campfire. Wander and Little Bits sit on the left, he is fully cleaned up and rearranged. A bored Sylvia leans against a rock on the right, holding a chicken drumstick. Close-up on Wander and Little Bits; she giggles excitedly and blushes. Cut to Sylvia, she chomps on her drumstick. Back to the other two; Little Bits yawns and smacks her lips; then crosses to Wander and lies down on his lap, purring as she falls asleep.)

Wander: Aw... Sylvia, look! She's usin' me as a pillow!

(Sylvia's only response is to toss the bone from her drumstick into her mouth and chew it loudly. Cut back to Wander and Little Bits; she suddenly flops him to the ground and begins fighting him in her sleep, with him grunting in agony in turn; belly punch three times, face slap twice, flop to either side, slap back of head three times; stretch entire body over head. Wide shot, Sylvia stands up and gets into fighting position.)

Wander: (slightly deranged) No, it's fine!

(She flops him to the ground; now she begins ripping off portions of his potato sack.)

Wander: Ow, ow, ow!

(She finally stops and lies down across his belly, purring. Wander sighs with relief; wide shot framing Sylvia.)

Sylvia: Wander, I know she's...cute...but I gotta say... (Close-up.) There's somethin' real weird...

(We hear the sound of poking; Wander gasps softly.)

Wander: (offscreen, whispering) What's that, Little Bits? (Cut to them, Little Bits is poking his eye.) You want a lullaby?

(She nods; he begins singing softly, to the tune of "Brahms' Lullaby".)

Wander: Close your eyes, rest your head

Let my belly be your bed

I won't move through the night

If it helps you sleep all right

(On the second part of this, cut to Sylvia as she frowns in disgust. Back to the two, Little Bits is purring. Wide shot, framing Sylvia.)

Sylvia: (scoffs) Like I was saying... (Close-up.) There's something bothering me about —

(We hear poking; cut back to Wander, Little Bits is poking his eye again.)

Wander: (whispering) Sorry, Sylvia, just a sec!

You need help, I'm here to stay

I'll do anything you say

(The ending of this sounds rather yawning; Little Bits purrs in return. Wide shot framing Sylvia.)

Sylvia: Doesn't it at least seem suspicious to you that —

(Little Bits pokes Wander's eye yet again, and purrs.)

Wander: And when I say "anything"

I literally mean anything

(In close-up, Wander yawns and closes his eyes. Cut to Sylvia, having seen this.)

Sylvia: Okay, weird lullaby. Wander, your heart's in the right place, but —

(Before she could say any more, we hear snoring; cut to Wander, having turned in. Wide shot framing Sylvia.)

Sylvia: (sighs) Fine, We'll talk tomorrow.

(Tilt slowly up to the sky; dissolve to a smaller waft of smoke. Tilt slowly back down to the campsite; the fire is out, and Sylvia has also turned in. Little Bits is noticeably not here; Cut to a close-up of Sylvia as we hear snickering in the distance. Her eyes pop open, and she turns her head forward. Cut to a distant forest; we see a shadow within green light within. Sylvia sticks her head into view and comes forward; she runs up to a rock and peeks out from behind it. Close on Little Bits, she is holding her bear.)

Sylvia: (offscreen) Oh, just playin' with her bear. (cut to her.) In the woods. (looks at her watch) At midnight?

(Cut to frame Little Bits in the front as she snickers; she now speaks clearly for the first time, her voice taking on a noticeable speech impediment with a lisp.)

Little Bits: I have tested the wimits of my pwisonuh. Wanduh is fuwwy unduh my contwol.

(Something clicks inside her head as she spins around, just in time for a staring Sylvia to hide behind the rock. Cut to frame Sylvia hiding, before we snap to an extreme close-up of Little Bits' face as she narrows her eyes suspiciously. Back to Sylvia, the next line snaps her up.)

Lord Hater: (offscreen, slightly muffled) Very impressive.

(Sylvia looks over; pan slightly to reveal Little Bits with her bear sitting upright, a hologram of Lord Hater's head is coming from it.)

Lord Hater: And you're set to deliver them on schedule?

(Front-on shot of Sylvia.)

Little Bits: (offscreen) Wong as you have my rewawd.

(Cut to the action; Lord Hater struggles to hide laughter, much to Little Bits' annoyance.)

Little Bits: What'th so funny?

Lord Hater: Uh, uh, I'm sorry. It's just...the way you say... (babyish, making goo goo eyes) "Reward!" (chuckles)

Sylvia: Little Bits is a bounty hunter! (pounds a fist) I knew it. Well, I didn't... I didn't know that, but... (gasps) Wander! I gotta tell –

(Something hits her in the head before she could finish; after she faints to the ground, tilt up to frame Little Bits in silhouette, her eyes and smile are the only ones visible. She giggles evilly, and the view snaps to black.)

(Fade up on an extreme close-up of Sylvia's closed eyes; we hear a rooster crow as she opens them slowly then snap wide and flick back and forth. Wide shot of her as she sits up; zoom out to put Wander and Little Bits in view. Wander is staring straight at her, smiling and not even blinking, his eyes dilated and sporting the green irises as in the beginning of the episode. Close-up of Little Bits, then cut to Wander and tilt down slowly; Little Bits has her bear upright, Lord Hater's hologram visible.)

Little Bits: Lord Hatah, I have awwived at wondevue point! Activate the telweportation pad!

Lord Hater: Engaging. But before I do... (talks fast) Say "teleportation" again!

(Little Bits rolls her eyes wearily, not happy at having to do this.)

Little Bits: Telweportation.

(He laughs loud and very long.)

Lord Hater: Okay... okay, okay, okay. N-Now say, um... "Six thick little thick stacks."

(Little Bits' only response is to fold her arms and give him a ruthless glare.)

Lord Hater: Ah, you're no fun.

(The hologram disappears; widen to frame a small bush before her. Wander has joined her, eyes still dilated and staring; she grabs the bush and throws it out of frame, revealing a golden pad beneath. It starts to glow; overhead view of the landscape, showing seven rocky formations around them as green light surges outward. Close-up on Little Bits, she giggles evilly.)

Little Bits: As soon as the pad is chawged... (Widen to frame Wander.) you will be dewivered to Hater for your towture and ultimate destwuction! (Close-up, eyes dilate) Won't you, Wanduh?

(Wander's eyes dilate more and he smiles in turn; cut to side view as he steps slowly forward. The next line stops him.)

Sylvia: (offscreen) No, he won't!

(Little Bits growls angrily; whip pan to Sylvia, she rushes forward with a yell and jumps; but she can't go further, revealing a chain is strapped to her foot. She flops to the ground; cut to Wander in the distance, his next line is spoken in a slow, monotonous trance-like manner.)

Wander: Sylvia, heyyy. (Cut to Sylvia; he continues offscreen.) I like the pretty bracelets Little Bits made for ya.

Sylvia: (grunts while struggling to get it off) Wander, what are ya doing?! (grunts) We've gotta get outta here!!

(Close-up on Wander, he briefly shakes his head rapidly. When he stops, he opens his eyes, revealing them to be normal again as he blinks them twice. He lays a hand on his cheek and slowly steps forward.)

Wander: Well, gosh, uh... (Side view.) I'm sorry, Sylvia. I...I didn't realize you —

(Close-up on Little Bits, she clears her throat, then cut to Wander as he turns around. His perspective of her, pointing toward the pad, whimpering. Close-up on her, eyes dilated and tearing; back to him as he lets his dilate as well, and frowns. Long shot as he slowly steps toward the pad, before the scene changes to put him in the front, with Sylvia in the distance.)

Sylvia: No! I mean...uh...

(She pauses for a bit; in close-up, she lets her eyes dilate.)

Sylvia: Oh, Wanduh!

(Wander turns around; Sylvia lets her lips quiver as he walks slowly towards her.)

Little Bits: (offscreen) Wanduh?

(Wander stops and turns around; close-up of Little Bits, eyes tearing. Wander walks in her direction.)

Sylvia: (offscreen) Oh, Wanduh!

(Wander turns around; brief shot of Sylvia's sad face before Wander walks in her direction.)

Little Bits: (offscreen) Wanduh!

(He turns; close-up of her face, shaped differently. Close-up on Wander.)

Sylvia: (offscreen) Wanduh?

(He turns around; cut from one sad face to another as the opposite speaks offscreen.)

Little Bits: Wanduh?

Sylvia: Wanduh?

Little Bits: Wanduh?

Sylvia: Wanduh?

(Long shot of the landscape; Wander flips around in turn.)

Little Bits: Wanduh!

Sylvia: Wanduh!

Little Bits: Wanduh!

Sylvia: Wanduh!

(Close-up on Wander, zooming in slowly.)

Little Bits: Wan-duh!

Sylvia: Weeee-eee!

Little Bits: Wanduh!

(Cut from one speaker to another as they show their sad faces.)

Sylvia: Wanduh!

Little Bits: Wanduh!

Sylvia: A-Wanduh!

(This last face has disgusted Wander, and he groans as he lets his eyes return to normal.)

Little Bits: (offscreen) Wanduh? (giggles)

(His perspective of Little Bits, glowing as she gives him her sad eyes. Back to him, bathed in the glare as his eyes dilate and take on the green irises.)

Wander: Yes!

(He hurries out of frame; front-on shot of him, arms outstretched and smiling. His perspective of her, behaving the same way as the camera zooms in slowly. Side view, he grabs her and spins as he slides onto the pad, bathed in its green light as she giggles.)

Little Bits: It'th usethleth, Thylvia. (Cut to an angry Sylvia; she continues offscreen.) Wanduh will nevuh weave my thide! (She sticks her paw out.) Justht wike you'll nevuh...weave...hith.

(Close-up on Sylvia, she hangs her head.)

Sylvia: You're right. I'll never leave his side. Wherever he goes, I go.

(Grinning evily. Little Bits holds out her bear and presses its tummy; Close-up on Sylvia's chain, attached to a nail. It opens, and she walks out of frame, and slowly walks up to the pad. She finally joins them, head dropped low as the pad surges brightly. Close-up on the trio; there is silence, then Sylvia's face comes up in a confident smile.)

Sylvia: And we're not goin' anywhere!

(Extreme close-up of her clenched fist; cut to Little Bits as her eyes shrink to points. Shift to slow motion; Sylvia's fist comes into view and punches Wander, causing him to release Little Bits and fly slowly out of frame, eyes turning into stars as a result. Long shot of the landscape; Wander flies upward as the scene slowly dissolves from one freeze-frame to the next, and he hits the ground as the normal speed resumes. Sylvia jumps off the pad; close-up on Little Bits, no longer holding her bear.)

Little Bits: No fair!!

(Zoom out quickly; the screen briefly flashes white as she is yanked upwards. The green light fades away, and there is a small twinkle before the view fades to white and we hear a teleportation noise.)

(Fade in immediately to the now normal landscape; Close-up on a passed out Wander, laying on his side. As Sylvia enters, he opens his eyes, which have returned to their normal state, and he sits up. His eyes remain normal throughout the rest of the episode.)

Wander: Where...who... (hand on head) Ugh, my achin' head. (gasps) Wait, (stands up) there was a little kitty, in the street! Did we help her?!

Sylvia: I like to think we did. Now can we head back to town? (Close-up, she makes goo goo eyes; slightly babyish) Pweeeeeze?!

Wander: Of course! (Then, disgustedly) As soon as we figure out what's wrong with your eyes.

(Long shot of the landscape; the two are seen in silhouette as Sylvia scoops Wander up with her tail and flips him onto her back. Both begin to proceed forward.)

Wander: Also, why am I wearin' a potato sack?

(Snap to black.)