Shen Yi Bu

Jack: Uh-huh. Mhmm. Ah hah. So, Mr. Tubbimura, tell us about yourself. Why should Jack Spicer, Evil Incorporated hire you?

Tubbimura: Hai, well um, I have as you can see, extensive experience wreaking havoc and destruction.

Jack: Yeah, not really looking for H and D.

Tubbimura: Uh, I uh, also have a solid grasp of mayhem.

Wuya: Mayhem is good.

Jack: There's always a need for Mayhem.

Wuya: Wait. I sense a Shen Gong Wu revealing itself. It's the Sword of the Storm.

Jack: Interview over. And don't call us, we'll call you.

Tubbimura: Wait, please. As proof of my skills, I shall bring you this Sword of the Storm free of charge. Hai.

Jack: Free of charge? I like the sound of that.

Dojo: I got good news, and bad news. The good news is a new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself. The bad news is- [SNIFFLES] [SNEEZES] The bad news is this one makes me sneeze.

Raimundo: No, the bad news is I don't have fire proof pants.

Dojo: Ah, thanks. Very supportive. [SNEEZES]

All: [COUGHING]

Omi: Ah, the Sword of the Storm. I studied this particular Shen Gong Wu for many years. There are things of which you must be aware when using this wind Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo: Ah, man. This dude can talk. Get to the point already.

Omi: Once a knowledgable warrior can blah the sword, blah blah blah, it is all blah blah. Blah blah blah blah.

Raimundo: Hoo! Ha! Heh! Ha!

[CHEERING]

Raimundo: So, who wants to catch some waves with me? Today is your lucky day, for I will show you the majesty of the sea as only the world's best surfer can.

Omi: Do you feel prepared for this challenge, Raimundo?

Raimundo: What?

Omi: Do you have any questions about the Sword of the Storm?

Raimundo: Uh, yeah. Just one. Can you stop flapping your lips and let us go get it already?

Dojo: It's somewhere down there, but [SNEEZES] it's hard to be exact with the allergies and all.

Clay: Just get us on the range, Dojo, and we'll do the cattle roppin'.

Raimundo: What?

Kimiko: I think he means get us close, and we'll find it.

Raimundo: So, why didn't he just say it?

Omi: What a vibrant city.

Kimiko: Check it out. That's Montecarlo, Raimundo. You're gonna love it.

Raimundo: Oh, yeah. I like it. This place is almost as good as Rio. Almost.

Omi: This is not a vacation. We are here to find the Sword of the Storm. Stay focused.

Raimundo: Okay, I will. I'm always focused.

Omi: Also remember, if you you have any questions, I am an expert on this Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo: Like you would ever let us forget.

Dojo: [SNEEZES] I'm sorry kids. I can't hold in on this one. You're on your own.

Omi: A net cast wide catches more fish.

Raimundo: What?

Kimiko: I think he's saying we should split up.

Raimundo: Would it kill you guys to just say what you mean? [ ]

Raimundo: I could walk this beach from end to end searching for the Shen Gong Wu, or I could get the big picture from on top of those waves. Surf's up! Raimundo is ready to- aye. Dissed by driftwood. No way! The Sword of the Storm. I got some serious skills.

Tubbimura: Surrender the Sword of the Storm.

Raimundo: [LAUGHS] Let me guess, Jack's new sidekick? Don't deny it. Kimiko saw the position posted on the net.

Tubbimura: Hai. You are correct. I am Tubbimura, mighty warrior of the ninja arts. Hai.

Raimundo: Nice to meet you. I'm Raimundo, Xiaolin Dragon of the wind, in training.

Tubbimura: Enough babble. Surrender the Sword of the Storm or be delta with in the harshest of manners.

Raimundo: I can do harsh. Let's rumble. Wind! Hiya! [KISSING NOISE]

Tubbimura: Hai.

Raimundo: [YELLING] Huh? [SCREAMING]

Tubbimura: Dragon of the wind. Ha.

Raimundo: So you have both swords now, big deal. I'm still gonna sweep the beach with you.

Tubbimura: I think not, dragon in training. Sword of the Storm!

[WIND HOWLING]

[PEOPLE SCREAMING] [COUGHING]

Raimundo: Is that all you got? I thought you were going to do something impressive.

Tubbimura: As you wish.

Raimundo: [SCREAMS]

Tubbimura: [LAUGHS] Farewell, almighty dragon of the wind.

[SEAGULLS]

Omi: Has anyone seen Raimundo? I fear for his safety.

Kimiko: All I saw was a giant sandstorm.

Dojo: Hey, Hallelujah! My sinuses are clear. Hey!

Clay: Whoa, Raimundo, what happened to you?

Raimundo: Well, besides getting sand in my pants, a ninja took the sword.

Dojo: That explains the drained sinuses.

Kimiko: You found the Sword of the Storm?

Raimundo: Yeah.

Clay: But you lost it?

Raimundo: What is it my fault? That Sword didn't' even work.

Omi: Did you not remember what I said about this Shen Gong Wu?

Raimundo: Well, yeah, 'course I did. What?

Kimiko: You didn't hear a word about the Sword of the Storm did you?

Raimundo: I, uh, might'a missed the middle part.

Kimiko: [GROANS]

Omi: [GASPS] [STEAMING]

Clay: [GASPS] Raimundo was defeated by a wind Shen Gong Wu? But ain't wind your dragon element?

Raimundo: Yeah, I get the point, I messed up. Like you guys never make mistakes.

Tubbimura: I have completed my mission, as I said I would. Hai.

Wuya: Well done. I'm impressed.

Jack: Gee, I don't know. I was hoping you'd get it to us an hour ago.

Tubbimura: I shall be more efficient next time.

Jack: If we decide to hire you.

Tubbimura: Hai.

Wuya: What do you mean if? Tubbimura did an excellent job.

Jack: Oh, yeah. But if he knows that we think that, he'll ask for more money.

Wuya: Hmm. Good point.

Jack: Besides, maybe we can get another freebie out of him.

Wuya: Excellent evil thinking, Jack.

Jack: Yeah, I'm evil management material.

Omi: Hiya. Hiya.

Clay: [WHISTLING]

Kimiko: What's up, Raimundo?

Raimundo: Nothing.

Omi: What is wrong with Raimundo? He looks like a sack of sad.

Kimiko: I bet he's still down about losing that sword.

Omi: He should be! It was very foolish and- uh, that is why I shall endeavor to cheer him up with my infectious good spirits. Hello, Raimundo, my usually fun-loving friend. I am here to turn your frown upside and down.

Raimundo: Yeah, whatever.

Omi: I know your most humiliating defeat has saddened you, still you must take hope that one day you will be as skilled and as talented as me. [SCREAMS] I do not think my good spirits infected Raimundo.

Kimiko: Let me try. Check it out. Goo Zombies 2. Over 500 new levels! Wanna play?

Raimundo: No.

Kimiko: You sure? 500 levels.

Raimundo: Not interested.

Kimiko: Okay, but if you change your mind, feel free- [SIGHS] Raimundo's really down, Master Fung. He doesn't even want to play Goo Zombies 2.

Master Fung: Goo Zombies 2?

Kimiko: The sequel to Goo Zombies.

Master Fung: Ah, yes. Of course. I shall talk with Raimundo.

Kimiko: Thanks.

Master Fung: You must not dwell in the house of failure, young one, or you may never be able to leave it.

Raimundo: I shouldn't have lost, Master Fung. I'm more skilled than Tubbimura, and in way better shape.

Master Fung: you weren't defeated by your opponent, Raimundo.

Raimundo: Oh, no? Would you like to see the impression of his boot on my butt?

Master Fung: Uh, that won't be necessary. You were defeated by your lack of knowledge. Remember, a drop of knowledge is more powerful than a sea of force.

Raimundo: Can't anyone speak normally around here?

Master Fung: Reflect on these things. As for me, I think I shall try my hand at Goo Zombies 2.

Clay: Raimundo, pardner, it's pretty late. Maybe you ought to give that stuff a rest.

Raimundo: No way. I'm gonna learn everything I can about the Shen Gong Wu.

Clay: It doesn't do any good to close the barn doors after the horses get out.

Raimundo: What?

Clay: Never mind.

Dojo: [SNEEZES] Remember how I thought I was only allergic to the Sword of the Storm?

Raimudo: Yeah?

Dojo: Well, I was wr- [SNEEZESES] wrong.

Clay: Shroud of Shadows. Whoa.

Omi: Why is he disappearing?

Kimiko: Is there a problem with the scroll?

Raimundo: No. This Shen Gong Wu is the Shroud of Shadows, which allows its user to become invisible.

Kimiko: Really?

Master Fung: Very good, Raimundo.

Dojo: All right, let's go. The sooner we find that Shen Gong Wu, the sooner my sinuses clear up.

Kimiko: There's a pretty picture.

Dojo: Get on.

Kimiko: Tokyo. Home sweet home.

Clay: Whoo-ee! Look at those fish. Sure wish I'd brought my pole.

Raimundo: Look!

Kimko: What? I don't see anything- but just what we're looking for.

Omi: The Shroud of Shadows.

Raimundo: Nothing to it. Whoa!

Tubbimura: [YELLS] Thank you for locating the Shen Gong Wu. We will take possession of it now.

Omi: Water! Hiya!

Kimiko: Fire! Hiya!

Jack: Ahh! Ow. Thorns.

Clay: Earth! Cannonball! Got it!

Raimundo: No way. This is mine.

Tubbimura: There is only one way to determine the winner. I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown.

Raimundo: Bring it.

Tubbimura: We will each stand on a rock in the pond and try to knock the other one into the water.

Raimundo: Sounds good, but just to make it a little more fun, I challenge you to a Shen Yi Bu Dare.

Jack: Shen Yi what? Okay, now I'm sure they're making stuff up.

Clay: You mind fillin' us in pardner?

Omi: I must admit, even an expert like myself does not have this knowledge.

Dojo: The Shen Yi Bu Dare, of course I know what it is, but for everyone else, why don't you fill them in, Raimundo.

Raimundo: No sweat. It's something I came across in my studies. It's like a double dare. Each contestant wagers two Shen Gong Wu. Winner takes all.

Tubbimura: Then I will soon possess five Shen Gong Wu. Hai. Raimundo: Not after I toss your sorry can in the water, you won't.

Tubbimura: Which Shen Gong Wu do you wager?

Raimundo: The Eye of Dashi and the Two-Ton Tunic against your Sword of the Storm and the Fist of Tebigong.

Tubbimura: Hai. On to Shen Yi Bu Dare.

Raimundo: How about every now and again, we swap Shen Gong Wu?

Tubbimura: Hai. Enough talk. To battle.

Raimundo: Let's go!

Both: Xiaolin Showdown!

Clay: I sure hope Raimundo knows what he's doing.

Kimiko: How can he? Even Omi doesn't know what he's doing, and he's an expert.

Raimundo and Tubbimura: Gong Yi Tan Pai.

Tubbimura: Sword of the Storm!

[WIND HOWLING]

Raimundo: Two-Ton Tunic! Sorry, Tubbimura, I'm not going anywhere.

Clay: Hey, you show 'em, pardner!

Dojo: [SNEEZES] Just finish this thing Raimundo. Before I burn my nose off.

Raimundo: Eye of Dashi.

Tubbimura: Fist of Tebigong! You will have to do better than that to defeat me. Back you monster! What trickery is this?

Raimundo: It's the Shen Yi Bu switcheroo.

Clay: Those catfish sure would make fine fillets.

Tubbimura: Now you will feel the full sting of my sword! Sword of the Storm!

Raimundo: [YELLS] Whoa! Whoa! Fist of Tebigong!

Clay: Um, you can look now.

Dojo: What? I wasn't worried.

Clay: Of course you weren't.

Raimundo: Uh-oh. Hey!

Tubbimura: The Shen Yi Bu has turned against you.

Jack: You know, this Tubbimura guy really isn't so bad.

Wuya: You're impressed with his evil taunting aren't you?

Jack: It has a certain flair, not unlike my own. Still waiting to hear the evil laugh though.

Tubbimura: Best of luck using the sword without falling. [LAUGHS]

Jack: Now that's what I'm talkin' about.

Dojo: I am not going to be the one to tell Master Fung we lost all these Shen Gong Wu. [SLAP] Uh, sorry Cowboy.

Tubbimura: You must choose. Drop the Sword of the Storm, or fall.

Raimundo: Okay, I choose fall.

Kimiko: Raimundo!

Raimundo: Eye of Dashi! Sword of the Storm!

Omi: Oh, most inventive. He has combined the two Shen Gong Wu.

Tubbimura: Impossible. Ah!

Raimundo: See, told ya I was a dragon of the wind. Should've done your homework.

Tubbimura: Two-Ton Tunic! Whoa! Put me down!

Raimundo: Okay.

Tubbimura: [SCREAMING]

Raimundo: Later! Ha ha! Enjoy your bath, Tubbimura.

Clay: Good job.

Kimiko: Way to go!

Omi: Well done.

Dojo: Thank goodness that's done. I can breath again! Or not. [SNEEZES]

Jack: Gesundheit.

Master Fung: You did well today, Xiaolin Warriors. Many new Shen Gong Wu are now in the protection of the temple.

Clay: Our hats are off to Raimundo, sir. It would've been a bust without him and that Shen Yi Bu Dare.

Master Fung: There hasn't been a Shen Yi Bu Dare for many centuries. It is difficult to do.

Dojo: So where is the little genius anyways?

Kimiko: Still studying, if you can believe it.

Clay: He wouldn't tell us what it was, just that it was very important.

Omi: [BREATHING LOUDLY] Ow. How did you know I was there?

Raimundo: It's the Shroud of Shadows, not the Shroud of Silence. You breath through your mouth dude.

Omi: Will you please tell me what you are studying?

Raimundo: No.

Omi: Please? I will acknowledge you as the expert.

Raimundo: I'm the expert anyway. No.

Omi: Will you at least give me a hint as to the nature of your study?

Raimundo: Well, let's just say I'm preparing for future challenges.

[BEEPING]