My Dad, My Teacher, My Dad, My Teacher

An aerial view of Becky’s house appears on screen. The Narrator says IT'S ANOTHER EARLY MORNING, AH, EXCUSE ME. AND BECKY AND BOB ARE GETTING A LIFT TO SCHOOL. HMM, THEY USUALLY WALK.

Mr. Botsford drives Becky and Bob to school.

Mr. Botsford says BECKY, YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHY I'M DRIVING YOU TO SCHOOL TODAY.

Becky says ACTUALLY, I HADN'T REALLY...

Mr. Botsford says I HAVE A SURPRISE! AND I CANNOT TELL YOU. OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU. BA, BADA BUM BUM BAH! YOU'RE IN THE CAR WITH THE NEW, OFFICIAL, SUBSTITUTE TEACHER FOR MISS DAVIS' CLASS.

Becky says MY TEACHER, MISS DAVIS?

Mr. Botsford says YUP. SHE CAME DOWN WITH A PARTICULARLY PESKY CASE OF CHICKEN POX. AND AFTER WHAT I UNDERSTOOD TO BE A VERY THOROUGH TEN MINUTE SEARCH, THE PRINCIPAL GAVE ME A CALL. DO YOU BELIEVE IT, BECKY? I'M A TEACHER.

Becky says SO YOU'RE MY NEW TEACHER?

Mr. Botsford says YES. I'M PART OF THE FACULTY. STARTING... NOW. BECKY, GET TO CLASS. HA HA! KIDDING.

Becky says YES, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

Mr. Botsford says HA HA! WAIT, IS THAT THE TIME? BECKY, GET TO CLASS. AND ME, TOO.

[bell ringing] Becky is in the classroom.

Mr. Botsford says GOOD MORNING, CLASS. I AM YOUR SUBSTITUTE TEACHER, Mr. BOTSFORD. BOTSFORD. I'LL WRITE IT ON THE BOARD LATER. POP QUIZ, BECKY. GET IT, BECKY? I'M YOUR POP, AND I'M GIVING YOU A QUIZ? POP QUIZ.

Becky says YES, YES I GUESS IT.

Scoops says GOOD ONE, Mr. BOTSFORD.

Becky says ER, DAD –

The kids laugh.

Becky says I MEAN, Mr. DADFORD, NO, Mr. BOTSDAD, I MEAN, Mr. BOTSFORD.

Mr. Botsford says MAYBE YOU'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME.

Becky says OH!

Mr. Botsford says OKAY, NOW LET THE LEARNING BEGIN.

Now, they go to the schoolyard. The kids swing their arms from left to right.

Mr. Botsford says 10, 11, EXERCISE, POP QUIZ SCOOPS.

Scoops says YES, Mr. BOTSFORD?

Mr. Botsford says HEALTHY BODIES EQUAL WHAT?

Scoops says HEALTHY MINDS?

Mr. Botsford says WELL DONE, SCOOPS. A PLUS. YOUR REWARD, FIVE, MORE, KNEE BENDS.

Scoops says HA! YOUR DAD'S HILARIOUS. DON'T YOU LOVE HAVING HIM AS OUR TEACHER?

Becky says YEAH, WELL, I THINK HE'S DOING OKAY.

Mr. Botsford blows a whistle.

He says BECKY, LET'S CUT DOWN ON THE CHATTER, OKAY? I EXPECT LESS TALKING AND MORE KNEE BENDING.

Now, the kids are back in the classroom. Becky strokes a guinea pig.

Becky says OH! HANK, YOU WANT A LITTLE SCRATCH? YOU LIKE A LITTLE SCREECHY SCRATCH.

Mr. Botsford says NOW BECKY, LET SOMEONE ELSE PET HANK. DON'T GO HOGGING THE GUINEA PIG.

Scoops says HOG THE GUINEA PIG, FUNNY.

Mr. Botsford says THAT WAS A POP QUIZ, SCOOPS. A PLUS. GREAT JOB.

Scoops says THANKS, Mr. BOTSFORD.

Becky says HA, HA, HOG THE PIG.

Mr. Botsford says SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, BECKY, DON'T HOG THE GUINEA PIG.

Later on, Mr. Botsford stands wearing a campaign hat.

He says THIS HAT IS A CLUE. QUICK, POP HAT QUIZ. WHERE'S SASKATCHEWAN? BECKY, I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS.

Becky says YES, I KNOW I KNOW IT. IT'S –

Mr. Botsford says AH, TOO LONG. SCOOPS?

Scoops says CANADA.

Mr. Botsford says NICE!

Becky says OH!

Mr. Botsford says WELL, BECKY, YOU CAN EXPECT TO SPEND THE WEEKEND REVIEWING THESE FLASH CARDS.

He gives Becky a pile of flashcards.

Later on, Mr. Botsford writes on the board.

He says SO LONG STORY SHORT, A MYSTICAL ELF IN A FLANNEL JUMPSUIT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHY RHOMBUSES HAVE FOUR SIDES OF EQUAL LENGTH. KYLE, I HOPE THAT ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION.

[bell ringing]

Mr. Botsford says THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE'VE GOT. GOOD-BYE, MATHEMATICIANS. I'M SO HAPPY TO BE A NEW ADDITION TO YOUR CLASSROOM.

Scoops says HA HA! ANOTHER WINNER, Mr. BOTSFORD.

Mr. Botsford sits on his desk and corrects homework.

He says HMM, OKAY.

Becky says AH, Mr. BOTSFORD?

Mr. Botsford says YOU KNOW WHAT, CLOSE ENOUGH.

Becky says DAD...

Mr. Botsford says NOT RIGHT NOW, BECKY. I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

Becky says RIGHT, BUT SCHOOL'S OVER SO ARE WE LEAVING SOON?

Mr. Botsford says OH, I EXPECT TO BE HERE FOR A WHILE. SO YOU AND BOB SHOULD JUST WALK HOME.

Becky says OH, WELL OKAY. BYE.

The Narrator says LATER, ON THE WALK HOME...

Becky says WOW, SO DAD SEEMED KIND OF DIFFERENT TODAY, HUH?

Bob squeaks.

Becky says IT WAS ALMOST LIKE I WAS JUST ANOTHER KID IN THE CLASS. EXCEPT HE WAS NICER TO THEM THAN HE WAS TO ME. I MEAN, 'NOT RIGHT NOW, BECKY'? HE'S NEVER SAID THAT TO ME.

[alarm ringing]

Becky says OH! TIME TO DO WHAT I DO BEST, 'COS NO ONE EVER SAYS NOT RIGHT NOW WORD GIRL. WORD UP!

Kid Potato and the Butcher are robbing a bank.

Kid Potato says YOU'RE A REAL PRO AT THAT. YOU SURE YOU'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE?

A woman says ACTUALLY, I DO THIS THREE TIMES A WEEK, AT LEAST.

Butcher says COME ON, COME ON! WE'VE GOTTA HURRY BEFORE WORD GIRL...

Word Girl says STOP RIGHT THERE, BUTCHER! AND KID POTATO. HOW ARE YOU, SIR?

Kid Potato says NICE TO SEE YOU.

Butcher says OH, MAN, I KNEW IT!

Kid Potato says REALLY? THE BIG BAD BUTCHER IS SCARED OF A LITTLE GIRL AND A PET KOALA?

Butcher says BUT POP...

Kid Potato says DON'T BUT POP ME. YOU DON'T SEE ANY OF THESE OTHER NICE PEOPLE GETTING WORKED UP OVER MISS RED PAJAMAS OVER THERE.

Word Girl says HEY!

Butcher says THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT THE ONES COMMITTING A CRIME!

Kid Potato says ALWAYS WITH THE EXCUSES.

Word Girl yells HUGGY IS A MONKEY, AND THESE AREN'T PAJAMAS!

Butcher says UH... OKAY.

Word Girl says AND YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE A LITTLE NICER TO YOUR SON.

Kid Potato says BUT HE KEEPS DOING EVERYTHING WRONG.

Word Girl says OH, COME ON, HE'S NOT DOING EVERYTHING WRONG.

Butcher grabs a bag with money. He drops it on the floor.

Butcher says MY BAD.

Kid Potato says YOU WERE SAYING?

Word Girl says DO YOU EXPECT YOUR SON TO BE PERFECT ALL THE TIME?

Butcher says YEAH, DO YOU EXPLOIT ME TO BE PERFECT ALL THE TIME?

Word Girl says ACTUALLY, THE WORD IS EXPECT. IT MEANS TO ANTICIPATE, WATCH FOR, OR LOOK FOR SOMETHING. IF YOUR FATHER, KID POTATO, EXPECTED THERE COULD BE A MISTAKE, HE COULD PREPARE FOR IT, INSTEAD OF BLAMING YOU.

Butcher says OH.

Word Girl says AND HOW DOES HE EXPECT YOU TO DO A GOOD JOB IF HE'S PICKING ON YOU?

Butcher says YEAH.

Word Girl says AND HE SHOULD NOT EXPECT YOU TO BE COMPLETELY QUIET WHEN YOU ARE DOING KNEE BENDS.

Butcher says YEAH! HUH?

Word Girl says I MEAN, SOMEONE ASKS YOU A QUESTION, YOU ANSWER IT, RIGHT? EVEN IF IT IS DURING GYM CLASS.

Butcher says FOR SOME REASON I DON'T THINK WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ME ANYMORE.

Word Girl says OH, SORRY. MY DAD IS MY NEW TEACHER AT SCHOOL.

Butcher says WHOA.

Kid Potato says OOH!

Word Girl says I KNOW, RIGHT? IT'S JUST WEIRD. HE'S NICER TO MY FRIENDS THAN HE IS TO ME. I HAVE TO CALL HIM Mr. BOT... Mr. HIS LAST NAME. IT'S JUST... OH!

Butcher says WOW, WORD GIRL, SEEMS LIKE YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF STUFF ON YOUR MIND.

Word Girl says YEAH.

Butcher says HERE'S SOME MORE STUFF TO GO ON YOUR MIND. PASTRAMI ATTACK!

He throws pastrami slices to Word Girl.

Word Girl says AH!

Butcher says PASTRAMI ON YOUR MIND. GET IT?

Word Girl says GOOD ONE.

Kid Potato says HEY, YOU FORGOT THE FURRYTON.

Captain Huggyface jumps over the Butcher.

Kid Potato says POTATO POW-POW.

He throws potatoes at Huggy.

Butcher says HA! SHOULD I, ER...?

Kid Potato says JUST GET IN THE CAR.

The Narrator says THE NEXT DAY...

Becky says YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE WHEN THE BUTCHER ROBS BANKS, BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WAY KID POTATO TREATS HIS SON. ALWAYS CRITICIZING HIM. PICKING ON HIM IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS.

The Narrator says UM... CLASS?

Becky says AND HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A RIDE TO SCHOOL TODAY.

Bob squeaks.

Becky says NOT KID POTATO, MY DAD. CAN YOU BELIEVE WE HAVE TO WALK TO SCHOOL?

[honking]

Bob squeaks.

Becky says I KNOW WE USUALLY WALK, THAT'S NOT THE POINT. OH, MAN, NOT AGAIN.

Becky sees the Butcher and Potato Kid on a car. Butcher is trying to park.

Butcher says CAN'T QUITE GET THE ANGLE.

Kid Potato says WE GET A GREAT SPACE IN FRONT OF THE STORE WE'RE GOING TO ROB, AND YOU CAN'T PARK.

Bob squeaks.

Becky says I KNOW I CAN'T LET THEM ROB THE STORE, BUT IF WE STOP THEM, I'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.

Bob squeaks.

Becky says YES, I KNOW I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

Kid Potato says GREAT. NOW I'M ALL CAR SICK.

Butcher says WELL, IF YOU JUST STOP COMPLAINING AND LET ME PARK.

Word Girl says YOU CAN START COMPLAINING WHEN I PARK YOU IN JAIL!

Butcher says NICE ONE.

Word Girl says THANK YOU.

Kid Potato says OH, BROTHER.

Butcher says SO HOW'S THE WHOLE TEACHER DAD THING WORKING OUT?

Word Girl says OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DISTRACT ME AGAIN. YEAH, MY DAD'S ON THE FACULTY AT SCHOOL, SO WHAT?

Butcher says WHOA, I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR DAD ON A FACTORY.

Word Girl says NO, NOT A FACTORY, A FACULTY. A FACULTY IS ANOTHER NAME FOR THE GROUP OF TEACHERS AT SCHOOL.

Butcher says OH. JUST THINK, IF A FACTORY MADE TEACHERS, IT WOULD BE A FACULTY FACTORY. HA?

[laughing]

Kid Potato says HEY, KID, WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ENTIRE GROUP OF POTATOES?

Word Girl says I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU CALL...

Kid Potato says A GETAWAY! SPUDAROOS PATOO.

He throws potatoes at Word Girl.

Kid Potato says YOU GOT STOPPED FROM DOING A CRIME BEFORE YOU EVEN GOT IN THE STORE. THAT'S GOTTA BE SOME KIND OF A RECORD.

(siren whistle)

Butcher says JUST LEAVE IT ALONE, POP.

They leave.

Meanwhile, in the classroom.

Mr. Botsford says WELL, BECKY BOTSFORD, NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US. PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEAT.

Becky says OH.

[bell ringing]

Mr. Botsford says AND REMEMBER, EVERYONE, TOMORROW IS DADS AND DONUTS DAY. WE'LL GREET AND EAT. ALL DADS ARE INVITED TO STOP BY AND ENJOY A CINNAMON BUN WITH ME. AH, BECKY, PLEASE SEE ME AFTER CLASS.

Becky says YES, Mr. BOTSFORD.

Mr. Botsford says YOU SEEM A LITTLE DOWN TODAY. IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

Becky says YEAH, I MEAN, NO, I MEAN, WELL, I KIND OF FEEL LIKE YOU'RE PICKING ON ME.

Mr. Botsford says WHAT? BECKY.

Becky says LIKE YOU EXPECT ME TO BE PERFECT, AND WHEN I MAKE A MISTAKE YOU...

Mr. Botsford says WHAT, I TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE WRONG?

Becky says YEAH.

Mr. Botsford says NOW, PUMPKIN, I DON'T THINK I SHOULD GO EASY ON YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER.

Becky says I DON'T WANT YOU TO, TOO MUCH. MAYBE JUST A LITTLE.

Mr. Botsford says BUT BECKY, THE REASON I'M SO HARD ON YOU IS BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH AND SMART ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT. MAYBE I NEED TO REMIND YOU OF THAT MORE OFTEN.

Becky says THANKS, DAD.

Mr. Botsford says I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M SOMETIMES YOUR TEACHER, BUT I'M ALWAYS YOUR DAD. NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE SEAL THIS DEAL WITH AN OFFICIAL BOTSFORD HUG?

They hug. Becky hears Potato Kid.

Kid Potato says GIVE ME THE WHEEL! GIVE ME THE WHEEL!

Becky says ROBBERY AT THE JEWELLERY STORE? ER, DAD, BOB AND I ARE REALLY ENJOYING OUR WALKS HOME, SO WE'RE GOING TO LEAVE NOW AND LET YOU GET BACK TO WORK.

Mr. Botsford says OKAY. AND BECKY, DON'T TELL ANYONE, BUT YOU'RE MY NUMBER ONE FAVOURITE MATHEMATICIAN.

Becky says AW, THANKS, Mr. DADFORD. HA HA.

Bob squeaks.

Meanwhile, the Butcher tries to park his car.

Kid Potato says COME ON. HURRY UP AND PARK. THERE'S STILL TIME LEFT ON THAT METER.

Word Girl says CORRECTION, YOUR TIME'S UP.

Butcher says MEH.

Word Girl says YEAH, NOT MY BEST.

Kid Potato says FLOOR IT, SONNY!

Word Girl lifts up the car.

Butcher says UH-OH.

Word Girl says YOU KNOW, BUTCHER, I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY. I LEARNED THAT, YES, SOMETIMES YOUR DAD CAN BE HARD ON YOU. AND HE MAY EXPECT A LOT MORE FROM YOU THAN HE DOES OTHER PEOPLE, BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU'RE REALLY GREAT.

Kid Potato says MY SON.

Butcher says COME HERE, POP. COME IN FOR THE BIG ONE. COME HERE.

Butcher and Kid Potato hug.

Word Girl tosses away the car.

Kid Potato says OH.

Butcher says OH, YOU KNOW, THIS IS GREAT, POP, BUT WE REALLY GOT TO REMEMBER, GET AWAY FIRST, THEN HUG.

Kid Potato says YOU CAN'T FIGHT YOUR EMOTIONS, SON.

The car falls down.

The next day, at school.

The Narrator says AND SO ON DADS AND DONUTS DAY, THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE FACULTY, Mr. BOTSFORD, WAS BOTH BECKY'S DAD AND HER TEACHER. AND THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO EXPECT FROM EACH OTHER SO THEY'D NEVER BE CONFUSED AGAIN.

Becky and Mr. Botsford eat donuts.

The Narrator says NEXT TIME, GRAB YOUR DAD, OR A DONUT, OR BOTH, AND DRIVE OVER TO JOIN US FOR ANOTHER EMOTIONAL AND ALWAYS POP QUIZZICAL EPISODE OF WORD GIRL.

The Butcher and Kid Potato eat donuts in jail.