Heroes Vs. Villains

[The episode starts with Chef visits Chris in prison with Chris's contract, walking with the police]

[Things flying around in the prison]

Killer: I'm innocent I tell you, innocent!

[Killer glares at Chef, the second inmate makes kissing sounds]

[Chef Hatchet looks nervous]

Chris: The crusty cockroaches have a big lead over the soiled stake bomb!

Killer: (off-screen): Clam it, McLean! [laughs evilly]

Chris: (in his prison cell): Ooh, Lightning slipped past Duncan, the heat is on! Yeah look at that, that's I'm talking about! [a shadow figure of Chef is on the floor] Well, well, well, look who finally came to visit me after a whole year.

Chef: Come on, you finish your sentence for dumping toxic waste.

Chris: Whatever, think I'll stay right here, got everything I need, including Chef 2.0, I made him from a cashew. [Chris's contract is handed by Chef Hatchet] What's this?

Chef: Yo' contract, the producers made another theme, so you in?

Chris: It is on [his teeth shines]

[theme song]

[At Camp Wawanakwa]

Chris: Welcome to Total Drama All-Stars, after my involuntary year-long vacation, I really need to be in a familiar environment surrounded by the people I love - to hurt [he laughs] it's a condition of my parole, except for the hurt part eh, that's all McLean. [Alejandro is still in the Drama Machine holding the $100,000,000 case] So, I'm bringing back fourteen TD All-Stars to battle it out in the most dangerous justifying competition ever, [a helicopter is heard] and here they are now. From Revenge of the Island, say hello to multiple Mike ''[Chef pushes Mike with his hand. Mike falls as he screams with his alternate personalities.] aka, [Mike turns into Chester] Chester, [Mike turns into Svetlana] Svetlana, [Mike turns into Vito] Vito.''

Mike as Manitoba Smith: [screaming] Crickey!

Chris: And Manitoba. [Mike splashes into the water] Mike's crushed pushover turn powerhouse, Zoey.

Zoey: [takes a deep breath] Mike! [She dives]

[Lightning appears inside the helicopter]

Chris: Athletic non-supporter, Lightning.

Lightning: You call that a dive? Watch this, sha-augh!

Chris: Bubble Boy Brainiac, Cameron.

Cameron: [Chef in a military outfit holds Cameron] This is highly [Chef throws him,] [screaming] illogical!

Chris: Gregarious mutant loving Sam [Chef holds him and drops him]

Sam: Not [screaming] cool!

Chris: Challenge throwing third farmer, Scott

[Scott holds on to Chef's legs, Chef puts him and drops him, Scott screams as he falls]

Chris: Bossy bruiser Jo who dominated until her underling turn daughter.

[Jo struggles with Chef]

Jo: You're a dead man, McLean.

[Chef bashes her as Jo screams as he falls]

Chris: [laughs] And from our original cast cranky know it all CIT, Courtney.

[Chef holds one of Courtney's legs while Courtney is upside down]

Courtney: [points at Chef] This is not in my contract [she screams as she falls]

Chris: Courtney's bestie turned boyfriend stealer, Gwen.

Gwen: [screams] He wasn't her boyfriend by the tiiiiiiiiiiiime!

Chris: Broody bad boy, Duncan.

Duncan: Bring it on!

Chris: Devious diva, Heather

Heather: [screams] I hate Chrrrrrrriiis!

Chris: Lovable lamebrain, Lindsay.

Lindsay: I'm flying. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Chris: Super fan Sierra, Total Drama's number one stalker uh, looger.

Sierra: For Codyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

[The rest of the contestants swim away from Sierra's landing, Sierra makes a big splash]

Chris: And feral freak show, Ezekiel.

[Ezekiel makes growling noses as Chef drops him]

[The contestants are confused]

Chris [laughs, as a plunger grabs him which Alejandro is doing] Kidding, no way is that guy coming back again. [Chris snaps his fingers]

[Alejandro launches Ezekiel as he screams]

Chris: [sighs] Man, it's great to be back. [Scene cuts to the wet contestants who are groaning] Greetings, old friends

Heather: [she coughs and spits a starfish] I am not your friend.

Lindsay: Aww, somebody misses her honey bunny.

Heather: Who, Alejandro [she pushes Lindsay] as if, I'm glad he isn't back that handsome jerk.

Courtney: You're gonna play for my dry-cleaning

Chris: No I'm not, new contracts, 'member/

[Static buzzing, Courtney is seen inside the confessional]

Courtney: Same old Chris, same old disgusting island. What was I thinking?

[static buzzing]

Chris: In fact, we've got a lot of big changes for this season. 1: This island is now 100% toxic waste free.

Sam: What, I only came back to get up close personal with some toxic goop so I can be become a kick-butt mutant like my gal Dakota,

Chris: Gee, too bad, 'cause it's gonna be all pay no game for you, huh?