Goodbye Krabby Patty (film)


 * [The story begins with SpongeBob and Patrick having a fun time in Jellyfish Fields. They attempt to catch some jellyfish but snagged themselves with the nets while there are jellyfish on their heads. Patrick removes his net and the jellyfish stings him, swelling his head. The same thing happens to SpongeBob. They both laugh at each other because of how funny they look. The scene changes to them skipping down the road. Then the scene changes to them brushing their teeth near a mirror at a mirror store, which puzzles several bystanders. Then the scene changes to them at the outlet store. They both slip into a large pair of pants. Then they wobble out of the store.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, oh.
 * Patrick: No, no, just—
 * SpongeBob: Whoa. [grunts]
 * [The scene changes to the Barg'N-Mart where SpongeBob and Patrick are wobbling in the freezer aisle. As they wobble, they knock over a few things until they lose their balance and fall over.]
 * Patrick: It's harder to walk, but worth it.
 * [They stand back up.]
 * SpongeBob: Ahh, the perfect end to a perfect day: buying ourselves the perfect ice cream.
 * [SpongeBob's opens the freezer door.]
 * Patrick: So many flavors.
 * [A huge stack of ice cream is shown with various flavors. At the top, a mountain climber appears and yodels. SpongeBob and Patrick jump into the freezer.]
 * Both: Whoo-hoo!
 * SpongeBob: Hmm, what brand should we buy, Hogen Duep?
 * Patrick: No, that's too fancy.
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick search through the pile until they find one carton of ice cream with the flavor rocky road.]
 * Both: Rocky road!
 * Patrick: With real rocks!
 * SpongeBob: Rocky road, unlike our friendship, which is a smooth avenue and will never have any bumps.
 * [Moments later, Mr. Krabs comes by with a shopping cart and unintentionally shuts the freezer door on SpongeBob and Patrick.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Bump. [notices SpongeBob and Patrick trapped in the freezer] When did food get so ugly?
 * [Mr. Krabs opens the freezer door and takes out one of the frozen dinner boxes while SpongeBob and Patrick are stuck to the door.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [reading] "Lonely Krab Dinner for One: Now 30% lonelier." Eee, can't believe what they're charging for this frozen debris, and I can't believe they're selling so much of it. But it sure is convenient.
 * [Mr. Krabs takes out a few frozen dinner boxes and puts them in his cart. SpongeBob and Patrick slide off the door. SpongeBob slides over to the shopping cart, takes one of the boxes, and looks at it.]
 * SpongeBob: Can you imagine if they had frozen Krabby Patties at the supermarket? Oh, that would be so convenient, everyone in the world could enjoy them.
 * [Mr. Krabs' nose ignites like a dynamite and his eyes pops into confetti, which resulted in giving him an idea.]
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, that's a million dollar idea that I just had that you just said before me.
 * [The scene changes to the Krusty Krab being recorded for a commercial. Mr. Krabs is at the front doors where he is in between two tables. One table had a plate of Krabby Patties and the other had a box labled: Frozen Krabby Patties. During the commercial, SpongeBob peeks through the window.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hello, welcome to my commercial. Would you like the convenience of a Krabby Patty at home, without the hassle of going to the Krusty Krab? Well, now you can. [takes a patty] Have delicious Krabby Patties any time you want. [stuffs patty in the box] They're in your grocer's freezer section. Buy them. I want your money! Did you get that, Pearly-girl?
 * Pearl: Yes, Daddy, and stop babying me!
 * [Pearl turns off the camera. The video is shown to a local business executive named Don Grouper. The TV turns off and the picture of Don closes.]
 * Mr. Krabs: So, Mr. Grouper, what do you think?
 * Don Grouper: Call me Don.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, well, okay, Don. Will this make me rich?
 * [Don thinks for a few seconds. As some sort of Easter egg, his thinking face is the same as his picture.]
 * Don Grouper: Mr. Krabs, if you wanna sell zero Krabby Patties and wind up in the poor house, then I say go with your commercial.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh.
 * Don Grouper: But if you really want to be rich, keep your mouth shut, and listen to us, sir. [tooth sparkle]
 * Mr. Krabs: Ooh. Okay.
 * [Don pushes the button on the remote, opens the floor and reveals four more executives.]
 * Don Grouper: Let me introduce you to the team here at GGK. That's Barry Goby, Rob Koi, and Limia with her team from creative. Everyone, this is Mr. Krabs and a yellow box.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, uh, actually, my name is Spon-
 * Don Grouper: Let's say we give a look-see at what we've cooked up for you.
 * [Don pushes the button on the remote, which shuts the blinds on the windows and turns on a hologram of a Krabby Patty.]
 * Don Grouper: The Krabby Patty, a mainstay of dining in Bikini Bottom for a very long time, [SpongeBob tries to touch the hologram, but Mr. Krabs stops him.] like an old friend, but not too old, because research shows us old is gross.
 * Limia: Yes, oh, it's absolutely...
 * Barry Goby: Oh, of course...
 * Rob Koi: Just gross.
 * Barry Goby: Yeah, no, it's disgusting.
 * Old Executive: Well, I don't think old is gross.
 * [Don pushes the button on the remote and opens a trapdoor for the old executive to fall through. The old executive is replaced by a baby executive. The baby spits out its pacifier, takes out her phone and texts it.]
 * Baby Executive: Goo-goo, social networking, ah, ah!
 * Don Grouper: Exactly. Now, here are some of the slogans we've been kicking around.
 * [Don pushes the button on the remote and shows Martin walking with a Krabby Patty.]
 * Don Grouper: "Krabby Patties: Like a friend, but edible." [shows another one with a delivery man] "Krabby Patties: The shut-in's favorite patty." [shows another with two Krabby Patties on a cliff] And finally, "Krabby Patties: Shove 'em in your mouth-hole!" [mouth-hole burps]
 * SpongeBob: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, I have a slogan!
 * [The executives stare at SpongeBob.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, uh, "Krabby Patties: Taste so nice that they... taste nice."
 * [Don is silent. The other executives nod their heads in disagreement. The baby executive blows a raspberry.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Let's just leave it to the professionals, boy-o.
 * Don Grouper: The thing is, Frozen Krabby Patties are a convenience for everyone, and we need a campaign that says exactly that. We need a regular guy to represent all consumers.
 * SpongeBob: Me!
 * Don Grouper: Someone everyone can relate to...
 * SpongeBob: Oh, me, me!
 * Don Grouper: With a face that says, "I love Krabby Patties."
 * [As Don thinks, SpongeBob winks his eyes. One eye has the letter I on it. The other has a heart on it. SpongeBob then reveals a Krabby Patty on his tongue.]
 * Don Grouper: We find that face, and we have our campaign.
 * Mr. Krabs: And I've got the perfect guy for the job.
 * [SpongeBob happily grins. Then a frozen Krabby Patty box is shown being put in the microwave by Patrick. Patrick is sitting on a recliner chair, opens the microwave, takes out the Krabby Patty from the box, and eats it.]
 * Patrick: Krabby Patties: They taste so nice, that they taste nice.
 * [The filmmaker claps the clapperboard and the scene is finished. Patrick gets of the chair.]
 * SpongeBob: Hey, that was my slogan.
 * [Don walks over to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs with Patrick.]
 * Don Grouper: Great stuff, huh? This guy is gonna be a star!
 * Patrick: I'm already a star.
 * Don Grouper: That's the attitude.
 * Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, now that I'm finished doing whatever it is I'm doing, you wanna go play?
 * SpongeBob: [gasps]
 * Limia: Sorry, yellow box, Patrick has to make a personal appearance at the mall.
 * SpongeBob: I—oh...
 * [SpongeBob sadly walks away.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Don, will this commercial really help me make money?
 * Don Grouper: You need to call your bank, Krabs, because they are gonna have to build an extra vault to hold all the extra money.
 * [Mr. Krabs faints into Don's arms.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [in Southern accent] Ooh, I do declare, Mr. Grouper, I believe I have a case of the vapors.
 * Don Grouper: I told you, call me Don. [tooth sparkle]
 * Mr. Krabs: Don.
 * Don Grouper: Of course, you could double, maybe even triple or quadruple that money, if you... No, forget it.
 * Mr. Krabs: What? Forget what? What? What?! What are you saying?
 * Don Grouper: Well, we ran some numbers and realized that you could make a lot more money if you... changed the formula.
 * Mr. Krabs: How much "a lot more"?
 * Don Grouper: A lot "a lot more."
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, then let's fill her up with filler!
 * [SpongeBob walks back in, having heard what Don just said.]
 * SpongeBob: [shocked] Mr. Krabs, are you changing the secret Krabby Patty formula?
 * Mr. Krabs: Heh, no, I-I can— well, it's just a little tweak, me boy.
 * SpongeBob: But what is "filler"?
 * Don Grouper: [walks over to SpongeBob and squishes his head to avoid more questions.] Whoa, hey, this little yellow box sure is full of questions. What do you say we go see where the money's made?
 * Mr. Krabs: Ho-ho, that sounds great!
 * [The scene changes to the Krusty Krab with a large factory built behind it. Don is driving a cart while SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs ride in it.]
 * Don Grouper: Take a look around. It's your dream come true. Through the wonders of automation, this factory can make as many Krabby Patties in one minute as you used to make in a week. Take a whiff of the future, Krabs. Does it smell like money?
 * Mr. Krabs: [sniffs] Oh, yeah.
 * [During the tour, one of the workers ended up on the conveyor belt and is burned and frozen in the process.]
 * SpongeBob: Hey, why does that barrel say "sand"?
 * [SpongeBob point to a filler where workers are suspiciously filling it with sand.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, it's imported. It's spelled "sand" but it's pronounced, "filler."
 * Don Grouper: Hey, let's check in on our taste test area.
 * [Don drives to cart towards the test lab in a fast motion. He stops and SpongeBob flies into the window of the lab. SpongeBob slides off the window. Mr. Krabs and Don looks into the window where a taste test of the frozen Krabby Patty is being performed.]
 * Fish Guy: Hmm. This tastes kind of bad.
 * Limia: [holds up a dinner box with Patrick on it.] Would you buy it, though?
 * Fish Guy: Well, yeah, for the convenience... and the face of that stupid guy [chuckles] Though I have noticed a bit of a side effect. Hmm-hmm.
 * [The fish guy points to his behind as it appears to have gotten bigger. Limia calls for security and the guards carry the fish guy out,]
 * Limia: [laugh] He loves it.
 * [Two executives drive up, one of which resembles the vacation salesman from That's No Lady.]
 * Executive: Great news, Krabs. Sales are going all the way up to the surface of the ocean. Here's your first check.
 * [The executive gives Mr. Krabs a check. His check revealed to be 100 million dollars.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Huh?
 * [Mr. Krabs opens the check further and reveals more zeroes at the end, meaning he has made a lot of money. He gasps and looks at the back and sees even more zeroes. His pupils scream. Mr. Krabs faints in Don's arms again.]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: I'm rich, boy-o, rich!
 * SpongeBob: Great, can we go back to the Krusty Krab now?
 * Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, we can.
 * SpongeBob: Hooray, finally!
 * [The scene changes to the Krusty Krab with a Patrick robot on the roof. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs enter the restaurant as workers are building inside. SpongeBob runs into the kitchen, takes out his spatula and prepares to make Krabby Patties. Mr. Krabs enters the kitchen.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Whatcha doing, boy?
 * SpongeBob: Making Krabby Patties.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, you've made your last Krabby Patty.
 * [Nat comes in and brings a robotic SpongeBob.]
 * SpongeBob: You mean my last one for the morning rush?
 * Mr. Krabs: No, ever.
 * [Nat moves SpongeBob away from his position with a forklift.]
 * SpongeBob: You mean my last one for today-ever?
 * Mr. Krabs: No, I mean forever and ever. You're fired.
 * SpongeBob: [confused] Fired?
 * [Nat takes the spatula.]
 * Mr. Krabs: But I'm ready to re-hire you.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, please, re-hire me Mr. Krabs. I'll do anything.
 * Mr. Krabs: Then follow me.
 * [Mr. Krabs leads SpongeBob out of the kitchen. The robotic SpongeBob looks at SpongeBob with red eyes as he leaves. He shows animatronic robots of Patrick, Squidward, and various customers in the restaurant. The Krusty Krab has somehow turned into a museum under Don Grouper's orders.]
 * Robot Patrick: This tastes nice.
 * [A robotic Plankton is at the safe and is hammered by a robot Mr. Krabs.]
 * Robot Plankton: Ow, curses, foiled again, ow.
 * SpongeBob: You turned the Krusty Krab into some kind of museum?
 * Mr. Krabs: That's right, me boy. It's all history now, but you, you have the most important job of all. [carries SpongeBob to the gift shop.] You give tours and sell tchotchkes in the gift shop.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, but what if someone wants a Krabby Patty?
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, we've got plenty of Krabby Patties right here in the freezer.
 * [Mr. Krabs takes out a frozen Krabby Patty, puts it in the microwave, and heats it up.]
 * Patrick Microwave: Ding.
 * [Mr. Krabs takes out the heated up Krabby Patty.]
 * Mr. Krabs: You see? Customers at the museum can cook the patties themselves, like this.
 * [Mr. Krabs eats the Krabby Patty. However, he does not appear to be enjoying it because of the taste.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah, it's so convenient, see? [chuckles]
 * [Squidward walks in.]
 * Squidward: And what about me?
 * [Mr. Krabs swallows the patty and puts it in his pocket.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, Squidward. You're fired.
 * Squidward: Well, do I get re-hired for a new job at the museum too?
 * Mr. Krabs: Heh! No, you're just fired.
 * Squidward: What? No, you don't fire me—I quit! I got my resignation letter all prepared. [reads resignation letter] "Dear Mr. Krabs—"
 * Mr. Krabs: Do you have a ticket, sir? Can't be in a museum without a ticket.
 * Squidward: What the—what?! [continues reading as he is being carried out by a delivery man] "I-I-I tender my resignation from this greasy establishment. Too long have I toiled under your iron claw. Now I am free—free to live my dreams of being a ballet dancer, ha-ha, and the first chair clarinet in the Bikini Bottom Orchestra, ha-ha, and I am going to finally publish my mystery/thriller novel: 'Dial D for Doily!"
 * [Mr. Krabs places a Krabby Patty shaped hat on SpongeBob's head and opens the front door to let customers in.]
 * SpongeBob: Ahem, [reads card] "hello, and welcome to the Krusty Krab Museum, the original home of the Krabby Patty, now available in the frozen food section of your local supermarket."
 * [The robotic Squidward behind SpongeBob explodes.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, and don't forget to buy souvenirs at the gift shop.
 * Mr. Krabs: Atta boy, embrace the future!
 * [Mr. Krabs leaves. The robotic Squidward's head lands on the floor. As time passes by, customers with larger butts continue to by Frozen Krabby Patties. Mr. Krabs goes to the bank and gives the bank loaner a check. The loaner gives Mr. Krabs a huge sack of money, which resulted in Mr. Krabs fainting. The loaner pushes the bag off of the counter. Patrick is at the Barg'N-Mart signing autographs to his fans. SpongeBob attempts to get Patrick's attention. But due to the popularity, he is being ignored as Patrick is busy signing autographs to his fans. Mr. Krabs is in his swimsuit and goes into a pool of money. He swims all around the pool. Then he pulls down a lever and money pours down on him. The scene then changes to a local hotel where it is built at the spot where Patrick's house used to be. SpongeBob goes into the hotel.]
 * Elevator Operator: Going up?
 * [SpongeBob goes into the elevator.]
 * SpongeBob: I'm going to a party—a party to celebrate my friend's upcoming 400th commercial.
 * Elevator Operator: Uh-huh.
 * SpongeBob: I brought ice cream. Me and my best friend are gonna share the ice cream. Who knows? Maybe we'll even get a chance to share pants. [laughs] Again.
 * Elevator Operator: [grossed out] You should get out. Now.
 * [SpongeBob leaves the elevator and goes into a room filled with rich people at Patrick's party.]
 * SpongeBob: Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, excuse me.
 * Colonel Sandab: Uh, Patrick, did you order something through the mail? 'Cause a yellow box just arrived for you.
 * Patrick: SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.
 * Patrick: Oh, I'm sure glad you made it to my party.
 * Colonel Sandab: Uh, excuse me, yellow box, are you feeling a little overheated? Because I do—I say, I do believe that you are melting. [laughs]
 * [The snotty rich people laugh at SpongeBob as the ice cream melts.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, yeah, I guess I should get this in a freezer. Patrick, where's the kitchen?
 * Patrick: Oh, I don't know.
 * Limia: It's just past the solid gold gym. Take a right at the zoo.
 * SpongeBob: I'll come with you, SpongeBob.
 * Limia: He can find the kitchen by himself. The press needs some photos of you with your new mascot friends.
 * SpongeBob: [sadly] Aww.
 * Patrick: [sadly] Aww.
 * [SpongeBob sulks to the kitchen freezer and opens it. In it is a huge stack of HOGAN DUEP ice cream. A yodel is heard in the background. SpongeBob looks sadly at the freezer. He didn't bother to put the ice cream he brought to the party in the freezer, so he places it on the countertop. He sulks away as Patrick is getting photos from the press.]
 * Press: This way, Mr. Star! Hey, Patrick, over here! Over here, right here! Who are you wearing?
 * French Narrator: The next day...
 * [The scene changes to SpongeBob sulking at the front door of the Krusty Krab Museum. He sighs and puts on the Krabby Patty hat. He walks into the former restaurant and trips over Squidward's foot.]
 * SpongeBob: Whoa, oof!
 * Squidward: Ow.
 * SpongeBob: [his body is face-down but his face come out and sees Squidward] Squidward? What are you doing here? I thought you were off following your dreams.
 * Squidward: I was. They turned out to be nightmares. Apparently, you need more than 17 years behind a cash register to be qualified for dreams. [holds out paper that reveals that Squidward has been a cashier for exactly 17 years.] I never thought I would say this, but I'm begging you, SpongeBob, let me come back and work at the Krusty Krab Museum.
 * SpongeBob: I guess you could help out the animatronic Squidward. There's something about him that seems a little off.
 * Robot Squidward: I love my job. Thanks for coming!
 * Squidward: Totally out of character.
 * [Squidward takes the Krusty Krab hat, pushes the robotic Squidward out of the register boat, and takes over.]
 * Squidward: [mechanical-esque] I hate everyone. [regular] Huh, much better.
 * French Narrator: Later...
 * [The scene changes to the filmmakers at the Krusty Krab Museum setting up for a commercial.]
 * Patrick: [reads script] "Tastes so nice that they—"
 * Squidward: They taste like lice!
 * Patrick: Oh, now I gotta start over! Ooh, someone fix that broken robot.
 * Squidward: Huh?
 * [Nat grabs Squidward and flips him over. Then he takes out a drill and proceeds to painfully drill Squidward in the behind.]
 * Squidward: What are you doing with this—ow!
 * Patrick: [reads script] "Tastes so nice that they taste nice."
 * SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, rehearsing your big 400th commercial, huh?
 * Limia: Excuse me, yellow box, Mr. Star is not to be disturbed. He's very, very busy right now.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, sure. I get it.
 * [SpongeBob sulks away.]
 * Patrick: But he's my friend.
 * Limia: You're a star. You have no friends.
 * [Limia walks away and Don comes to check on Patrick.]
 * Patrick: [sighs] What am I doing again?
 * Don Grouper: Stand over here and say your line. And...action.
 * [Don gives Patrick a Krabby Patty before he leaves for the filming to begin. Patrick is standing next to a table of Frozen Krabby Patties with the number 400 sign. Patrick eats the patty but doesn't appeared to be thrilled with it.]
 * Patrick: Tastes so nice, it... uh... [Patrick throws down the Krabby Patty and starts looking and acting depressed.] blah, blah, blahblahbli-blah...
 * [Patrick becomes depressed as the 400 sign lights up. Confetti is then released.]
 * Don Grouper: And..cut! Alright, you guys can fix that in post. Okay? that's a wrap. Let's pack it up.
 * [Limia walks up with a contract for Patrick to sign.]
 * Limia: Okay, and here. And here. Okay, and then sign here. And again here.
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, there's something weird about these Frozen Krabby Patties.
 * [SpongeBob notices a filmmaker eating one of the Frozen Krabby Patty. After he eats it, he goes to remove the headlight and his behind becomes larger.]
 * Filmmaker 2: Looks like you've been hitting the patties pretty hard there.
 * Filmmaker 1: Speak for yourself.
 * [The other filmmaker's behind is larger than the other.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, nothing's been the same since those frozen patties came out. [continues as filmmaker is carrying SpongeBob] I miss the old Krusty Krab. I miss Patrick—oof!
 * [The filmmaker places SpongeBob in a box that comically contains yellow boxes.]
 * Limia: Come on, Mr. Star. You've got an 11:00 eyeball waxing.
 * Patrick: [sighs] See you later, SpongeBob.
 * [Patrick sulks away.]
 * SpongeBob: [sadly] Aww.
 * [Patrick and Limia walk up to a limo where they are driven away, while a bicyclist follows them with a sign that says "Eat Frozen Krabby Patties." Meanwhile, Plankton sneaks by, hoping that he will finally get the secret formula.]
 * Plankton: Finally, now is my chance to strike.
 * [Plankton runs into the museum.]
 * SpongeBob: Welcome to the original Krusty—
 * [Plankton runs up to the safe where the robotic Plankton and Mr. Krabs are being operated.]
 * Robot Plankton: Curses, foiled again. Curses, foiled again.
 * Plankton: Pfft, never happened.
 * [Plankton jumps into the safe, grabs the formula, and kicks the robotic Plankton.]
 * Plankton: Now to make my escape.
 * [Plankton make his escape as he laughs. Surprisingly, robotic Mr. Krabs's hammer does not smash Plankton. However, he stops to notice that SpongeBob is not in the mood for chasing him.]
 * Plankton: Aren't you gonna try and stop me?
 * SpongeBob: That'll be $1.99, please.
 * Plankton: What do you mean, $1.99? You're not gonna step on me? I've got the secret formula, you know.
 * SpongeBob: Anyone can have a secret formula. We sell them in the gift shop.
 * [SpongeBob takes one of the bottles and pulls out a blank paper.]
 * SpongeBob: See? They're all just fakes. [rips up the paper] Everything here is a fake!
 * Plankton: Eh, forget it. What's the world coming to? [smashes bottle] All right, just give me one Frozen Krabby Patty to go.
 * Patrick Microwave: Ding.
 * [SpongeBob takes the patty out of the microwave and gives it to Plankton.]
 * Plankton: [laughs] Yes, you fools!
 * [Plankton runs off.]
 * Squidward: Shouldn't we chase after him? He didn't pay.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, what's the point? These Frozen Krabby Patties have ruined my life, Squidward. And it was all my idea. Who am I to fight the future?
 * [SpongeBob takes a bite of the Frozen Krabby Patty and doesn't like the taste of it. Then suddenly, without warning, he throws up sand and it forms into a sandcastle. SpongeBob then coughs up a toy shovel.]
 * SpongeBob: Sand?! It tastes like sand! Not good sand, either.
 * Squidward: Of course it does. What do you think Krabs uses as filler?
 * SpongeBob: Krabby Patties aren't made with sand! They're made with love.
 * [SpongeBob runs to the kitchen, retrieves his spatula, and kicks away the robot SpongeBob. He opens his body and takes out the real Krabby Patty formula. He opens the bottle, takes out the formula and reads it. His eyes glimmer with happiness.]
 * SpongeBob: Mm! I am going to show the world what a fresh, [puts Krusty Krab hat on] not frozen Krabby Patty tastes like, and the first one is for my best friend, Patrick.
 * [SpongeBob cooks the patty on the grill. As he cooks, depressed citizens with large butts smell the scent of the Krabby Patty being handmade by SpongeBob. Meanwhile, Patrick is getting interviews from the press with Don and Limia.]
 * Press: Over here. Right here, Patrick. Right here, right here. One, more, Patrick.
 * Agent: Patrick, baby, sweetheart, have you thought about that feature film I pitched youse?
 * [Patrick sadly looks at the picture of himself with SpongeBob until a camera man flashes in Patrick's eyes. Patrick is finally fed up with his popularity.]
 * Patrick: That's it. I can't take it anymore. Everybody out!
 * [Don, Limia, and the press leaves Patrick's hotel.]
 * Patrick: I wish things could go back to the way they were. Mm... [rubs his picture with his hand] I just wanna be able to share one pair of pants with my best friend without it being in the papers.
 * [Meanwhile, SpongeBob has finished his handmade Krabby Patty.]
 * SpongeBob: Freshly grilled Krabby Patty, you and I are going to save the world. And save a friendship.
 * [Patrick sulks at the balcony when he sees SpongeBob running up to him.]
 * SpongeBob: Patrick!
 * Patrick: SpongeBob! [Patrick leaves the hotel and runs to SpongeBob.]
 * SpongeBob: [through a bullhorn] Patrick, the frozen patties are made with sand!
 * Patrick: SpongeBob, what?
 * SpongeBob: [through a cellphone] Patrick, the Frozen Krabby Patties are made with sand!
 * Patrick: [through a telephone] I thought they tasted familiar!
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick crash into each other.]
 * Patrick: SpongeBob?
 * [SpongeBob pulls himself off of Patrick and lands with a big hole in his face. He regenerates his face.]
 * SpongeBob: Missed you.
 * Patrick: I missed you too.
 * SpongeBob: [takes out the Krabby Patty he made himself] I got something for you, from one friend to another.
 * Patrick: No, no, I don't wanna eat another one of those things!
 * [SpongeBob stuffs his handmade Krabby Patty into Patrick's mouth. As he eats it, he begins to feel a sense of happiness. He flies around the air with joy.]
 * Patrick: Mm! Now that's a real Krabby Patty! Oh, as delicious as our real friendship.
 * SpongeBob: Now that we've saved our friendship, we have to save the reputation of the Krabby Patty.
 * Patrick: But I have to speak at a shareholders meeting tonight. How am I gonna say nice things about frozen patties now that I know they're filled with sand? [kicks sand in SpongeBob's face]
 * [SpongeBob wipes the sand off his face.]
 * SpongeBob: Well, Patrick, you're just gonna have to listen to your heart... and your stomach.
 * [The scene changes to the shareholder meeting. Don and Mr. Krabs are on stage speaking to the audience.]
 * Don Grouper: Thank you, everyone, for coming to this gala event celebrating the meteoric success of Frozen Krabby Patties. In honor of this momentous occasion, we are going to premiere our 400th commercial.
 * Mr. Krabs: And here to say a few words is the face of the Frozen Krabby Patty, our own Patrick Star. Come on up, Patrick!
 * [The audience cheers and Patrick walks up to the speaker.]
 * Patrick: Good evening, ladies and... the other ones. I know you're all excited to see the 400th commercial, but before we see it, I just want to say...
 * [Patrick looks at SpongeBob, who gives him a thumbs up. Then he turns to the audience.]
 * Patrick: That...[looks at Don and Mr. Krabs] that...Frozen Krabby Patties are...
 * SpongeBob: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
 * Patrick: ...Made with sand!
 * [The audience gasps in shock.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [shocked] Oh, no!
 * [Mr. Krabs faints in Don's arms again.]
 * Don Grouper: That was cute when you were rich. [drops Mr. Krabs] I'm out of here.
 * [Don leaves the stage as the audience vomit out sand. In doing so, their butts shrink down to their normal size. The scene changes to a graph of the Frozen Krabby Patty sales going down.]
 * Perch Perkins: And in shocking news today, it has been revealed that Frozen Krabby Patties are made with sand.
 * [As everyone is watching the news, various people vomit out sand and their butts shrink back to normal. One of which vomits out palm trees. Another vomits out patty-shaped sand. Another vomits out sand shaped like a rectangular box. Another vomits sand through his eye sockets. Another vomits out sand with a snail in it. Then their butts begins to shrivel up afterwards. Not wanting to take this anymore, the customers decided once and for all to throw away all of the frozen patties they bought. Mr. Krabs is seen near a trashcan, depressed. The Krusty Factory is being closed down and pushed away by construction workers.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, it's gone. Everything I spent me life building is all gone. I'm ruined. [sobs] What?
 * [Mr. Krabs peeks into the Krusty Krab and sees customers eating the handmade Krabby Patties and are enjoying them.]
 * Harold: Now that's the taste I remember.
 * Mr. Krabs: That's strange.
 * [Mr. Krabs walks into the restaurant and sees all of the automatic robots being thrown out.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, what is going on in here?
 * Squidward: Uh, [mechanical-esque] I am Animatronic Squidward. I cannot answer questions.
 * Mr. Krabs: Squidward!
 * Squidward: [regular] It was SpongeBob's idea. Him and Patrick are behind this. They forced me to help.
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick are in the kitchen making Krabby Patties, sharing the same pants they wore in the beginning. Mr. Krabs walks in.]
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, did you do all this?
 * SpongeBob: Absolutely! Well, Patrick helped.
 * Patrick: A friend always helps. It's called "frelping," and I was very frelpful.
 * Mr. Krabs: But how did you get these customers to eat Krabby Patties? They know they're filled with sand.
 * SpongeBob: The frozen ones are, but these are made fresh.
 * Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Fresh?
 * SpongeBob: Go on, have a bite.
 * Mr. Krabs: No, no I—
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, just a nibble.
 * [SpongeBob spreads the patty on Mr. Krabs' face. Mr. Krabs takes a taste of the juice.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Here!
 * [Mr. Krabs nibbles on the fresh patty.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, ooh, the flavor. [rubs his face] The sweet, greasy nectar of the gods. How much are you charging for these patties, boy-o?
 * SpongeBob: Nothing, we're not selling them.
 * Patrick: Yeah, we just give them away.
 * Mr. Krabs: [freaks out] Agh, SpongeBob, me boy, you've done a good thing here, lad, but you could use a little frelp, I think. [jumps into the pants] How about we partner up, and I become your boss and pay you minimum wage while I work you mercilessly? What do you say?
 * SpongeBob: Yeah! The Krusty Krab is back in business!
 * Mr. Krabs: Great, now get back to work! [laughs. Later, it's another beautiful day at the Krusty Krab. A sweet old lady is knitting a scarf with her yarn while enjoying her meal. Mr. Krabs walks up to her.] And how was your meal today, ma'am?
 * Sweet Old Lady: Oh, delicious. I wish I could tell everyone how great my meal was.
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, you're more than welcome to go to each table and tell them about your satisfactory experience.
 * Sweet Old Lady: I don't really have time to do that. Perhaps I will mention it in my will.
 * [The sweet old lady takes her knitting supplies and drives away on her mobility scooter. Mr. Krabs takes out his whip and prepares to hit her.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, that's the way you want it.
 * SpongeBob: Wait! I have an idea!
 * [SpongeBob runs into Mr. Krabs' office and brings out a cork board. He hangs it on the window.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hold on a second! That's me cork board! It's for all me... memos.
 * [The court board shows a memo with the words, "Make More Money" and a picture of money on the bottom.]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, think of it now as a bulletin board for the community. A place where a yearning populous can express themselves freely.
 * [The sweet old lady knits a review about her visit and sticks it on the court board. Then she drives away on her mobility scooter. A customer walks up and reads the review.]
 * Ivy (gray): "My Krusty Krab meal was delicious! I cannot recommend it enough!" Huh. Well, I was just gonna loiter, but now I think I'll get a Krabby Patty.
 * [The customer walks off. Mr. Krabs' eyes became dollar signs and money pops out of his mouth, realizing that it is a fantastic idea. Then he closes his mouth.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hey, everybody! Our community bulletin board is here! Tell your friends and come on down and use it for the good of me business! Me wallet! Me...[stammers] I mean the community.
 * [The scene changes to customers lining up to put their reviews on the bulletin board. SpongeBob sheds a tear.]
 * SpongeBob: [sighs] Community!
 * [SpongeBob and the customers look at the reviews. As time goes by, more court boards were added as more reviews keep stocking up. One puts a lost sign on it while another puts Old Man Jenkins on it. Customers continue to read the bulletin board of reviews while eating their meal. Squidward and SpongeBob continue serving the meals to the customers.]
 * Pearl: Oh, I really hope people like it! [laughs]
 * [Pearl puts a picture of a unicorn dancing under the rainbow on the bulletin board. Random customers put pictures on the bulletin board as well.]
 * Voice #1: Great!
 * Voice #2: Super good!
 * Voice #3: Number 1 with a star!
 * [Pearl laughs. The scene changes to Mr. Krabs gluing money on the walls of his office.]
 * SpongeBob: See, Mr. Krabs? The community bulletin board is a good thing.
 * Mr. Krabs: Yes. Yes it is. It's bringing me closer to my favorite part of the community. Their money!
 * SpongeBob: Let's see what other nice people are saying.
 * [SpongeBob leaves the office, but moments later, SpongeBob screams very loud. His scream causes the money to fall off the wall and makes Mr. Krabs fall into his sack.]
 * Dave: What are you shrieking about?
 * [SpongeBob steps in front of the bulletin board.]
 * SpongeBob: Nothing! I just love to shriek!
 * [Dave tries to look and see the bulletin board, but SpongeBob, while shrieking, prevents him from looking.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Step aside, boy! You're blocking me money-makin' bulletin board!
 * [Mr. Krabs moves SpongeBob away from the bulletin board and Dave reads the blue paper.]
 * Dave: "When I eat at the Krusty Krab, all I get is a dark, empty feeling inside!" P-Star7. Ouch!
 * [The customers murmur in wonder about the review. Mr. Krabs becomes nervous and goes to remove the review.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [growls] Not on my bulletin board!
 * Surfer Fish: Whoa, whoa, dude! What's with the censorship? The community bulletin board is for everybody. You can't just take somethin' down because you think it's bogus.
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, Surfer Fish is right. The board is sacred and it must be respected.
 * [SpongeBob pushes his nose and a pencil comes out of his head. Then he writes on a small pink paper.]
 * SpongeBob: Dear P-Star7, I'm so sorry you had a less than stellar experience at the Krusty Krab and we promise to do better in future. Signed, Fry-Banshee139. Crisis averted.
 * [SpongeBob puts his note on the bulletin board and his pencil back in his head. But he sees another note.]
 * SpongeBob: Huh? "Crisis averted? More like crisis dumb-blurted." Signed, Guybesideu3?
 * [Spongebob sees Tyler whistling beside him. Then he sees more notes on the board.]
 * SpongeBob: Huh? [gasps] "Dumb-blurted! LOL!"?, "What's the Point"?, "I could make a better patty out of mud"?! Where are all these notes coming from?
 * [Mr. Krabs is going around selling paper and pencils to the customers so they can write notes for the bulletin board.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Pencils, paper! Pencils, paper!
 * Martin: I want to express the worst side of myself!
 * Mr. Krabs: Heh, heh, heh. Why not? And don't forget to feed your hatred with a selection from our menu!
 * Squidward: Huh? [points to menu] Hmm.
 * SpongeBob: If only I could figure out who this P-Star7 is.
 * [Patrick walks in the restaurant.]
 * Patrick: [laughs] Hello!
 * [Patrick notices everyone discussing about P-Star7's message on the bulletin board. He then walks through the crowd.]
 * Nat Peterson: P-Star7 is my new hero.
 * Patrick: Hey, that's me!
 * Harold: Yeah, right.
 * Fred: He really knows how to complain.
 * Patrick: But I wasn't com...
 * [Patrick goes up to the board to put a note on it.]
 * Unnamed customer: P-Star7 is cool because he's anonymous.
 * Patrick: [hides his note] Oh, yeah. He's cool because He's a nanny-mouse.
 * Bubble Bass: You may not like what P-Star7 has to say, but you have to agree that he keeps it "real". He's a true hero for our troubled times.
 * SpongeBob: [sighs] Well, I'll just have to make my Krabby Patties better so P-Star7 will like 'em.
 * [SpongeBob goes into the kitchen and attempts to make better Krabby Patties. He examines them closely and takes out a compass to see how round it is.]
 * SpongeBob: No, it's not round enough. Uh, maybe just a little off the edge here.
 * [SpongeBob cuts part of the patty with the spatula and takes out a metric ruler to measure it.]
 * SpongeBob: No, now the other side is wobbly. I'll just even it up a little here.
 * [SpongeBob even up the patty with the spatula and takes out a tape measure to measure it.]
 * SpongeBob: Now it's smaller than that one!
 * [SpongeBob takes out his spatula and tries to flatten the Krabby Patty. However, he ended up splattering it all over the place and made the Krabby Patties into a lump of meat.]
 * SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward!
 * Squidward: Yes?
 * SpongeBob: Has P-Star7 responded to my nice note yet?
 * Squidward: Oh, he responded hours ago.
 * SpongeBob: Well, why didn't you tell me?
 * [SpongeBob runs out of the kitchen.]
 * Squidward: Because I don't care.
 * [SpongeBob goes to the bulletin board a finds a note underneath his.]
 * SpongeBob: That's for me! "Fry-Banshee139, more like Cry-Baby139!" Cordially, P-Star7.
 * Bubble Bass: His vituperative hyperbole has certainly diminished your credibility.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, why did you have to say that?
 * Bubble Bass: You're right. I should have put it on the bulletin board instead. [writes his note and puts it on the board] Signed, HandsomeLad42.
 * SpongeBob: You may be handsome, HandsomeLad42, but you're very mean!
 * [SpongeBob runs away. The customers and Mr. Krabs cruelly laugh at SpongeBob's humiliation.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Alright, that's a good one. Heh, heh. Hey, you know all this note-writing must be making you folks hungry. We have a short line at the register.
 * [Squidward is sleeping at his register.]
 * Sheldon: I brought a bag lunch.
 * [The customers reveal to Mr. Krabs that they've brought bag lunches.]
 * Mr. Krabs: What? Wait a second. None of you bulletin board browsers are buying me patties!
 * Medley Fishbowl: Why would we buy food from a place that quote [reads note on sock] "Smells like stinky armpits"?
 * Mr. Krabs: What?
 * [Mr. Krabs sniffs his armpit and crumbles to dust. Then he comes back up again.]
 * Mr. Krabs: That's not true!
 * Medley Fishbowl: Hey, it's on the board.
 * Bubble Bass: And the board is never wrong.
 * Mr. Krabs: And does anyone need to buy a pen?
 * [Everyone holds up their pens.]
 * Mr. Krabs: How about some paper?
 * [Everyone holds up their paper and Mr. Krabs facepalms himself in disgust. SpongeBob walks up to Patrick in tears.]
 * Patrick: What's wrong?
 * SpongeBob: It's this P-Star7. He's been saying terrible things about me and the Krusty Krab.
 * Patrick: Oh, I think they were all good things.
 * SpongeBob: Not good. He said that the Krusty Krab made him feel dark and empty inside.
 * Patrick: Well, he probably meant his stomach was dark and empty and he was hungry for more.
 * SpongeBob: No. A master of acid-wit like P-Star7 would never express himself so clumsily. He called me Cry-Baby139.
 * Patrick: [gasp] You were Fry-Banshee?!
 * SpongeBob: Yeah.
 * Patrick: Well, maybe he just thought it was funny. And... and when he said that Krabby Patties taste like old baseball gloves...
 * SpongeBob: He said that?!
 * Patrick: Oh, not yet!
 * [The scene changes to the outside of the Krusty Krab being covered by numerous reviews that are written by P-Star7.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Tastes like old baseball gloves, do they?
 * Squidward: [laughs] I don't know who this P-Star7 is, but he's brilliant!
 * Mr. Krabs: He's a diabolical genius! That's what he is!
 * [Patrick is sucking his hand in his mouth.]
 * Patrick: [muffled] No, I'm not.
 * [Patrick puts salt on his hand and continues sucking his hand. SpongeBob is shown wearing a snowsuit, a hat, and earmuffs in the kitchen.]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, the grill's gone cold.
 * Mr. Krabs: Nobody's orderin', son. It's that cursed cork board! I'm gonna take it down! It's nothing but trouble!
 * SpongeBob: You can't Mr. Krabs! It's for the community! I'll still believe in the power of the bulletin board!
 * [Soon, everyone puts random notes on SpongeBob and Squidward seems to be enjoying it as he cruelly laughs at it.]
 * Sandals: [reads note] "You smell!"
 * [Laughter]
 * Gus: [reads note] "One of your eyes is too big!"
 * [Laughter]
 * Bubble Bass: [reads note while eating] "Close your mouth when you eat!"? [spits out food]
 * [Laughter]
 * Pearl: Oh! [reads note] "This picture looks like it was drawn by a Brine Shrimp!" Oh, Daddy! [cries]
 * [Squidward cruelly laughs at this until he reads P-Star7's note about him.]
 * Squidward: Huh? [reads note] "Squidward Tentacles should never be allowed behind a cash register." P-Star7? Oh, that is it! Why can't any of these yocals understand I'm working here? Ironically!
 * Bubble Bass: Oh, sure you are. P-Star7 has your number alright.
 * Squidward: I'm gonna give you a number, of contusions!
 * [Squidward and Bubble Bass fight each other until SpongeBob breaks them up.]
 * SpongeBob: People, can't you see what's happened? This bulletin board has become a bullying board!
 * [All of the customers gasps in realization.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Okay, that's it! Everybody out!
 * [Everyone leaves the Krusty Krab and SpongeBob puts up the closed sign on the window.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, P-Star7 is bringing out the worst in everybody. I'd like to send him a message.
 * Mr. Krabs: We'll teach him a lesson he'll never forget!
 * SpongeBob: A lesson in polite manners.
 * Squidward: Or we could push him off a cliff.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, excellent option, Mr. Squidward.
 * SpongeBob: We have to find out who this P-Star7 is! Gentlemen, I propose a stakeout!
 * [The scene changes to the Krusty Krab late at night. SpongeBob, Squidward and Mr. Krabs are in the register boat as they are prepared to catch P-Star7.]
 * SpongeBob: [through walkie-talkie] Pineapple1 to Maddaddy. Come in, Maddaddy.
 * Mr. Krabs: [through walkie-talkie] This is Maddaddy. I read you, Pineapple1. Any movement?
 * [SpongeBob looks around.]
 * SpongeBob: [through walkie-talkie] Negatory. Pineapple1 to Delicate Flower. Come in, Delicate Flower.
 * [Squidward takes the walkie talkie from SpongeBob.]
 * Squidward: [yells loudly] I AM NOT ANSWERING TO DELICATE FLOWER!
 * [Squidward hides his flower tattoo that is on his left arm and gives the walkie-talkie back to SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs looks around.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Shh. Maintain radio silence. Wait a minute. I see something.
 * [A mysterious round figure opens the front door and rolls across the floors. The figure stops under a nearby table and licks up a ketchup stain with his tongue.]
 * SpongeBob: So that's what happens to the ketchup stains.
 * [SpongeBob, Squidward and Mr. Krabs hide in the register boat. The mysterious figure walks up to the bulletin board and sticks another note on it. Mr. Krabs turns on the light and the mysterious figure turns out to be none other than Patrick Star.]
 * SpongeBob: Surprise, P-Star7!
 * SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward: Patrick?!
 * [Patrick smiles nervously.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [screams in anger] I'll tear ya to pieces!
 * [Patrick cowers in fear as he thinks Mr. Krabs is going to hurt him. However, Mr. Krabs moves Patrick away and breaks his cork board into a million pieces. Then he removes all of the random notes off of the entire restaurant and tosses them all outside on the street.]
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, you're P-Star7?
 * Patrick: Well, that's what my last note was about, SpongeBob. I was upset that people take everything I say the wrong way.
 * SpongeBob: So, when you said that Krabby Patties reminded you of old baseball gloves, you really meant that they gave you the feeling of your carefree youth.
 * [Patrick is chewing on his baseball glove.]
 * Patrick: Yeah, I think.
 * SpongeBob: You hear that, boardy? It wasn't you. It was never you. We were the monsters all along.
 * [SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs felt sorry about their actions and took pity on Patrick. However, Mr. Krabs resumes his anger.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm still angry and I need somethin' to calm me down! Ooh! [picks up paper] This knittin' circle oughta do the trick. And you all are joining me! Especially you, Delicate Flower.
 * Squidward: [takes coupon] Oh, ratfish!
 * [The scene changes to SpongeBob, Squidward, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs knitting with the sweet old lady at the Shady Shoals Rest Home.]
 * SpongeBob: [through walkie-talkie] Pineapple1 to Knitmama. Can I needle you for a little more yarn? [laughs]
 * Squidward: Oh, brother. [puts the yarn bag over his head] Please bring back P-Star7.
 * [Everyone laughs. Later, it's again another beautiful day at the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs once again foils another one of Plankton's attempts to steal the secret Krabby Patty formula and carries him outside through the front doors.]
 * Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me secret Krabby Patty formula, Plankton! Adios!
 * [Mr. Krabs kicks Plankton out and sends him flying through the air, over some of the Bikini Bottomites, and lands on the ground. Plankton's landing makes him slide face down and hits Sandy's boot.]
 * Sandy: Hmm? [sees Plankton near her boot] Plankton, you look like the cheese that fell off the cracker. I bet you tried to get that formula again.
 * Plankton: [spits out sand from his mouth] I don't get it. A crab's brain is smaller than the point of a pencil, but he keeps outsmarting me!
 * [Patrick rides past Sandy and Plankton with his skateboard facing upside down.]
 * Sandy: You should give up that formula. Mr. Krabs would have to be as dumb as Patrick.
 * Plankton: [thinks for a second] Yes. [gets an idea] Yes he would! As dumb as Patrick! [laughs]
 * [The scene changes to Plankton riding on a stream of water on a canoe. The stream turned out to be droll of Patrick who is fast asleep under his rock. Plankton canoes into Patrick's mouth. Plankton then puts his helmet on turns on the light.]
 * Plankton: One swab from the inside of his cheek should do it.
 * [Plankton takes a cotton swab and dabs on Patrick's cheek to abstract some saliva. Suddenly, a vibration shakes inside Patrick's mouth and his tongue shakes Plankton off.]
 * Plankton: Nagging Neptune! [Plankton whacks the tongue with his swab] Back you twisted tongue! You will not lick me!
 * [Patrick's tongue turns Plankton around and licks his butt. Plankton shrieks as he finds this gross. Plankton whacks the tongue again with his swab and the tongue falls. Just then, Patrick unexpectedly burps out gases.]
 * Plankton: Sweet gashes molasses!
 * [The gases sends Plankton and his canoe flying. Plankton changes the canoe into a plane and flies out of Patrick's mouth. Later, Plankton is seen at the Chum Bucket cooking some sauce on the stove. Karen comes in.]
 * Karen: Oh, pee-yew! What's that awful stench? You're not boiling your underpants again, are you?
 * [Laughter is heard.]
 * Plankton: I told you to turn off that laugh track. And if you must know, I made sauce. [holds out his swab with Patrick's saliva on it] But when I add Patrick's DNA to it, it'll become Salsa Imbecilicus.
 * [An image of Patrick forms on the saliva.]
 * Plankton: Idiot sauce! [laughs] I'll serve it to Krabs and it'll make him so dumb, he'll just give me the secret formula! Huh? Huh?
 * Karen: I think I'd prefer the boiling underpants. [turns on the laugh track] Let me do it. You always make a mess.
 * Plankton: Leave me be woman!
 * Karen: Don't tell me... [Plankton turns her off]
 * [Karen angrily leaves the kitchen. Plankton laughs evilly as he dips the swab with Patrick's saliva into the sauce. However, the sauce boils a big bubble. Plankton accidentally pops the bubble with the swab and sauce gets splattered onto him.]
 * Plankton: Oh no.
 * [Plankton drops the swab into the sauce and he tries to shake the sauce off of himself. However, the sauce caused Plankton's body to become like Patrick's body and Plankton began to act dumb. Plankton plays with his lips as the steam from the sauce goes up the chimney and get absorbed into a cloud. The cloud goes over Bikini Bottom and rains the sauce over the town. Soon, everyone ended up acting as dumb as Patrick. The next day, Sandy comes out of her treedome and notices the townsfolk is acting very strangely and appeared to be dumb as Patrick. She goes to Squidward's house and sees it has a clown wig and a clown nose on it. Squidward is outside his house acting very dumb.]
 * Squidward: I've got the best taste in town! Duh! [runs goofily into his house]
 * Sandy: I never thought that folks around here were particularly bright. But this morning everyone seems as dumb as traffic cones.
 * [Dave runs around laughing with a cone on his head. He jumps and continues running. The scene changes to the Krusty Krab and SpongeBob is on the ground flipping dirt with his spatula. Then he somewhat makes a patty out of the dirt.]
 * Sandy: What happened to your head, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Uh, me make Krabby Patties.
 * Sandy: Uh, that's mud.
 * [SpongeBob shoves the dirt into his holes and squeezes them out. He laughs and runs off to a crowd of people surrounding a stop sign. Patrick comes with a yellow balloon and is still riding the skateboard upside down.]
 * Sandy: Hey, Patrick. Have you noticed that everyone's acting a lot like you today?
 * [Patrick eats the balloon and it pops inside his mouth which deflates his head. Patrick lifts his head up.]
 * Patrick: I don't understand the question.
 * [Patrick leaves and continues riding the skateboard upside down. Sandy sees Mr. Krabs laughing and throwing money everywhere. Mr. Krabs pulls out the bottle containing the secret formula, opens it and eats it. He burps out the formula into dozens of pieces.]
 * Sandy: What in Sam Hill?
 * [Sandy sees Mrs. Puff being pushed on her boat upside down by Billy and pretends to drive her boat. Tom is seen wearing the shower curtain and his brushing his back with the scrub brush. Nat Peterson is seen riding his bike sideways on the round while hitting his head against a rock. The several people are chasing a jellyfish who stings them when they touch it.]
 * Sandy: Hey, don't do that!
 * [Sandy goes after them until they stopped at the end of a line at the Chum Bucket.]
 * Sandy: Lining up for the Chum Bucket? Now, I know everyone's got a hole in their screen door. This place is ground zero for zero.
 * [Sandals knocks on Sandy's helmet and puts his mouth on top.]
 * Sandy: [grossed out] Zero as being everyone's collected by goo.
 * [The scene changes to Plankton biting his antenna and rolling on the floor in the kitchen of the Chum Bucket. Sandy is seen talking to Karen as she is explaining what's going on.]
 * Karen: And that's how the idiot sauce spread throughout Bikini Bottom. I guess you weren't affected because you were protected by your treedome.
 * Sandy: And you weren't affected because you're a computer. Looks like it's up to us to find a cure for the town's idiocy.
 * [Plankton is banging his head against the mirror.]
 * Plankton: You not Plankton! Me Plankton! [bangs his head against the mirror]
 * Karen: We need to snap him out of this. What's the opposite of dim?
 * Sandy: Bright.
 * [Karen and Sandy turn on a lamp to try to snap Plankton out of his stupidity but nothing works.]
 * Karen: It's not working! Maybe we can feed him something for brain food. You're smart. What do you eat?
 * [Plankton gets to close to the light bulb and burns his eye.]
 * Sandy: Nuts?
 * [The scene changes to Sandy stuffing Plankton's mouth with acorns, but nothing's working.]
 * Sandy: Oh, it doesn't seem to be working. You know him. How do you get him to change?
 * Karen: I usually just yell at him. Get smart, dummy!
 * Sandy: Wise up!
 * Karen: Be clever, idiot!
 * Sandy: No things!
 * [Nothing is working as Plankton laughs and claps like a seal.]
 * Karen: [sighs] It's no use. Being smart takes work.
 * Sandy: [thinks a second] That gives me an idea.
 * [The scene changes to Sandy and Karen standing at the front doors of a school called Bikini Bottom University.]
 * Sandy: Come one, come all to Bikini Bottom University! A free education for all! There's no more excuse for being a dope! Step right up all you morons! Classes are now beginning!
 * [But the Bikini Bottomites were so dumb, they didn't listen and continued to walk around stupidly.]
 * Sandy: Aww! This isn't working!
 * Karen: Try jiggling the keys!
 * [Sandy pulls the rope and jiggles the keys. The Bikini Bottomites see the keys and goes in. Later, Karen and Sandy are in a classroom.]
 * Sandy: Good mornin', students.
 * [The students continue to act stupid when they are in their desks.]
 * Sandy: A whole school full of Patricks? Looks like we've got our work cut out for us.
 * [The scene changes to Sandy teaching Jimmy Gus how to put on pants. She gives him a demonstration. Jimmy chews on the pants, but realizes it's not something to eat. Jimmy puts his pants on backwards, but Sandy gives him a thumbs-up. In doing so, the point on Jimmy's head gets smaller. Karen is in the other classroom teaching the students how to eat. She demonstrates on how to eat with a spoon. Frank flips some food at Tom with the spoon and Debbie Rechid dips her head in the food. Nat Peterson seems to get it and ate the food with the spoon. The point on Nat's head gets smaller. In another classroom called Home EC, Mr. Krabs is attempting to make a Krabby Patty. He makes it, but it has the carton of milk in the middle and the patty is on top of the bun. Mr. Krabs eats the patty along with the milk carton and the plate. Karen seemed unsure if that was ok, but gives Mr. Krabs a thumbs up.]
 * French Narrator: One semester later...
 * [All of the Bikini Bottomites, who have now returned to their normal selves after a long semester, leave the classroom.]
 * Sandy: And don't forget your last homework assignment!
 * Karen: Looks like we were able to educate the whole town in one semester!
 * Sandy: Yep! Day after tomorrow is graduation! And everybody learned so well.
 * Karen: Everybody but one.
 * [Plankton is still acting stupid and is writing on the locker doors with a pen.]
 * Plankton: [laughs] Yeah!
 * Mr. Krabs: School is dumb? You've misspelled every word.
 * Plankton: Shut up, dweeb!
 * [Mr. Krabs freaks out and drops his books.]
 * Plankton: Cook books, eh? You holdin' out on me, Krabs?
 * [Mr. Krabs picks up his books.]
 * Mr. Krabs: I don't know what you're talkin' about, Plankton! Leave me alone!
 * [Mr. Krabs runs off crying.]
 * Plankton: I know you're cookin' up something special in Home EC, Eugene! I want that formula!
 * SpongeBob: Um, Plankton, can I come out now?
 * Plankton: Did you finish my homework for me, nerd?
 * SpongeBob: Yeah.
 * [SpongeBob pushes Plankton's homework out from the holes of the locker door. Plankton opens on the door and SpongeBob comes out.]
 * SpongeBob: You know, you really ought to do your own homework. It's the only way you'll learn.
 * Plankton: I'll never learn!
 * [Patrick, who is working as janitor, sweeps the skateboard across the floor and accidentally crushes Plankton.]
 * Plankton: Not again!
 * French Narrator: Ahh. Graduation Day.
 * [All of the Bikini Bottomites are in their cap and gown and is having a graduation ceremony for attending the university.]
 * Sandy: This is a proud day for everyone in Bikini Bottom! And as a treat, Squidward will play Pomp and Circumstance on the clarinet.
 * [Squidward begins playing Pomp and Circumstance, but ends up playing the wrong notes which aggravates the crowd. Meanwhile, in Home EC, Mr. Krabs is busy making a Krabby Patty.]
 * SpongeBob: Hurry up, Mr. Krabs. They're handing out the diplomas.
 * Mr. Krabs: Just a minute. I think I've perfected the Krabby Patty formula! [takes a bite of the patty and it tastes good] Yes! That's it!
 * SpongeBob: Great! Well, see ya out there.
 * [SpongeBob leaves and Plankton enters the classroom.]
 * Plankton: Somethin' smells good!
 * [Mr. Krabs finishes writing the formula but when he sees Plankton, he hides it in his graduation gown.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh! P...P...Plankton? What are you doin' here?
 * Plankton: It's the last day of school, baby. No need to be formal. Call me Sheldon. [takes a bite of the patty]Great Neptune! That's perfection! Well, with this recipe, I could own the most popular fast food restaurant in Bikini Bottom!
 * Mr. Krabs: [frightened] No, please! Not that! Anything but that!
 * Plankton: Hand over that secret formula, Krabs!
 * [Meanwhile at the graduation ceremony, all of the Bikini Bottomites throw their caps in the air and have become graduates of the Bikini Bottom University.]
 * Karen: Congratulations, SpongeBob! You're smart now! It's funny that Mr. Krabs never showed up to get his diploma.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah. The only two people who didn't show up are Mr. Krabs and Plankton. [gasps] Let me have that diploma!
 * [SpongeBob grabs the diploma, takes of his cap and gown and runs across the hallway.]
 * Patrick: Uh, hey. No running in the halls!
 * [SpongeBob runs slowly. Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs is cornered by Plankton and he reluctantly gives the formula to him.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Here you go, Plankton.
 * [All of a sudden, SpongeBob bursts in the classroom.]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, your diploma!
 * [SpongeBob throws the diploma and Mr. Krabs catches it, preventing him from giving the formula to Plankton.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Thanks to this here diploma, I'm suddenly smart enough to never give you me secret formula!
 * Plankton: What?! If I knew education worked like that, I would have bought a diploma years ago!
 * Mr. Krabs: Of course it doesn't work like that, you microscopic meathead! I took accelerated classes and graduated months ago! This diploma is just a formality!
 * Plankton: But... but you were just about to give me the formula! Y..You were scared of me!
 * [Sandy turns on a light from behind the chalkboard.]
 * Sandy: Excellent, Mr. Krabs! [writes a grade for Mr. Krabs] Here's your final grade for acting class. A+. [gives Mr. Krabs his grade] I've really felt the fear.
 * Plankton: Wait, what?! Acting class?! [Mr. Krabs picks up Plankton] No!!
 * Mr. Krabs: You've finally been schooled, drop-out!
 * [Mr. Krabs stuffs Plankton in his diploma and blows him out the window. Plankton was sent flying onto Karen's computer screen where she turns on the laugh track.]
 * Karen: Come on, evil genius. Time to start your post-college years.
 * [Plankton groans in defeat as Karen carries him away. Transition to outside of SpongeBob's house.]
 * French Narrator: Ahh, a happy pineapple under the sea. Let's take a peek inside, shall we? [Inside SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob is sitting on his chair, feeling bored.] You will notice that the sponge is bored, because his best friend Patrick is away.
 * [SpongeBob slides onto the floor.]
 * SpongeBob: Ohh! [He picks up Mermaid man and Barnacle Boy magazine.] Hmm... what's this? [Reading the pen pal article.] All alone? No one to talk to? Why not write to a total stranger? Connect with other Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Pen Pals Today! Oh, I've never had a pen pal! [SpongeBob pulls out a paper and a pencil from his head. He sharpens his pencil with his teeth like a pencil sharpener. He lays on the floor and begins writing on the paper.] Hmm... "Dear Pen Pal, my name is SpongeBob SquarePants..." Oh, that's great! "I work at a restaurant. I love frying and I'm very good at it. Sincerely, your new best friend!" Behold, the perfect letter! Now for the envelope. [SpongeBob leaps over Gary and runs into the kitchen to get an envelope. However, when he came back, Gary is slithering slime all over his letter.] Gary, get off of that! You'll spot my masterpiece!
 * Gary: Meow, meow.
 * [Gary slithers away. SpongeBob picks up his letter, now covered in slime.]
 * French Narrator: Uh-oh. It looks as if the domesticated snail has unintentionally deformed the word "Frying." Making it look like the word "Flying." This is probably going to be a problem later on.
 * SpongeBob: Nah, it's just a little slime.
 * [SpongeBob puts the slimy letter in the envelope and seals it with his tongue.]
 * SpongeBob: Ah, perfect!
 * French Narrator: 4 to 6 days later...
 * [The mailfish, Norton, comes to SpongeBob's house and opens the mailbox to deliver his letter. When he opens it, SpongeBob sticks out his tongue and Norton puts his letter in SpongeBob's mouth. Norton closes the mailbox and sighs as he walks off. SpongeBob bursts out of his mailbox and runs inside his house. SpongeBob opens the envelope and begins the read.]
 * SpongeBob: "Dear SpongeBob, Wow! You know how to fly?" Fly? What does he mean by... [gasps]
 * French Narrator: See? What did I tell you?
 * SpongeBob: Gary, my pen pal thinks I can fly!
 * Gary: Meow?
 * SpongeBob: Ha! What a silly misunderstanding. "I can't believe I know a real life pilot! I wish I could watch you fly, because I am dying!" [gasps] Dying?! Not Pen Pal! [cries]
 * [Gary gives SpongeBob a box of tissues and SpongeBob blows his nose in the box. Gary is grossed out and slithers away.]
 * SpongeBob: I don't want to let him down and say that I can't fly! 'Cause then, his dying wish will never come true!
 * [SpongeBob imagines his pen pal's funeral.]
 * Priest: We're gathered here today to celebrate the life of Pen Pal. He died disappointed.
 * [The four mailfish dump the carcass of Pen Pal into a mailbox and salutes him. The mailbox sinks into the ground as lightning flashes the sky. SpongeBob's imagination ends. SpongeBob comes up with an idea and jumps on his chair.]
 * SpongeBob: Time to make Pen Pal's wish come true with a tiny white lie!
 * [SpongeBob pulls out another piece of paper and a pencil and begins writing a letter.]
 * SpongeBob: "Dearest Pen Pal, yes, I can fly! Boy, do I love flying! Fly, fly, fly, fly, fly!"
 * French Narrator: 4 to 6 more days later...
 * [The mailfish, Norton, comes to SpongeBob's house and opens the mail slot to deliver his letter. When he opens it, SpongeBob sticks out his tongue and Norton puts his letter in SpongeBob's mouth. Norton closes the mail slot and sighs as he walks off. SpongeBob opens the envelope with his nose and begins the read.]
 * SpongeBob: "Dear SpongeBob, I'll be at the Bikini Bottom Air Show tomorrow. Please meet me there so I can finally see you fly?!" [screams] Oh no! What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? I can't fly, Gary! I'm not a flier! I'm a liar!
 * [SpongeBob freaks out and runs all over his house in panic. Gary throws water at SpongeBob to calm him down.]
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: Good thinking, Gary. [wrings himself out] Sandy will know just what to do.
 * [The scene changes to Sandy's Treedome. Inside, Sandy is working on one of her inventions.]
 * Sandy: What can I do ya for, SquarePants?
 * SpongeBob: I did a bad thing, Sandy! I did a very bad thing!
 * [Sandy gives SpongeBob a pair of underpants.]
 * Sandy: Here. Take these. They're clean.
 * SpongeBob: No, no. It's not that. It's... it's...
 * [SpongeBob hyperventilates himself and frantically takes off his water helmet.]
 * SpongeBob: I lied! [puts his helmet back on and fills it up with his tears] I lied! I lied! I lied! I lied! I lied! [pulls his pants up in embarrassment]
 * Sandy: Relax, SpongeBob. You're twitchin' like a prairie dog on a cow-skin rug.
 * SpongeBob: Uh, what on a which?
 * Sandy: What's got your behind a-buzzin'?
 * SpongeBob: By who I've a where's in?
 * Sandy: [sighs] What did you lie about, SpongeBob?
 * [SpongeBob feels hesitant about telling Sandy about his lie. But he eventually gives in. He takes a deep breath and as talks to her, bubbles foam around his helmet.]
 * SpongeBob: Well, there was this big misunderstanding and now my pen pal thinks I can fly! And I don't think I ever mean it, but now I have to! He doesn't see me fly and I don't know how! If I don't fly, he'll die disappointed! I made a horrible mistake, Sandy! Please help!
 * [SpongeBob inhales the bubbles in his mouth and belches.]
 * Sandy: Well, it ain't no lie if you actually learn how to fly. And I can help you with that!
 * SpongeBob: Really?
 * Sandy: Sure.
 * [The scene changes to Sandy putting SpongeBob in a flight training machine.]
 * SpongeBob: Seatbelt, check. Controls, check.
 * [Sandy turns on her machine. On the screen, it shows a video game version of an airplane getting ready to fly. As SpongeBob begins his flight training, the airplane on the screen starts flying.]
 * Sandy: Proper take off, check. How are ya doing in there?
 * SpongeBob: Oh, I'm good.
 * [SpongeBob continues his training until he sees his pineapple house.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, there's my house!
 * [SpongeBob parachutes off and goes inside his house.]
 * SpongeBob: Oop. I've forgot to feed Gary.
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, hi Gary.
 * [The airplane crash lands near SpongeBob's house and the screen shows Game Over.]
 * Sandy: [sighs] Failed. Alright, let's try that again! SpongeBob? Hmm?
 * [Sandy turns and sees her flight training machine severely damaged and SpongeBob is no where in sight. The scene changes to SpongeBob in a wooden airplane tied up with a rope.]
 * Sandy: Alright, SpongeBob. I tied ya up to a rope so you won't be able to go too far off course.
 * [Sandy turns the propeller.]
 * Sandy: Contact!
 * [SpongeBob's wooden airplane lifts into the air and starts to fly.]
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
 * [As the wooden airplane flies around in a circle, the rope starts to ravel around the pole, getting the airplane tangled on it.]
 * SpongeBob: Did I do it?
 * Sandy: Hmm. Good enough.
 * [Sandy stamps the word "Ready" on her checklist. The scene changes to the Bikini Bottom Air Show where pilots are preparing to entertain the audience with their planes. SpongeBob walks into the arena with a pilot suit on and is ready to perform in the show. He sees an old man on a wheel chair, coughing. SpongeBob rushes over to meet him.]
 * SpongeBob: Hey, you must be Pen Pal!
 * Frail Fish: [coughs]
 * SpongeBob: What an honor it is to finally meet you! Oh, you pretty, pretty pen pal you.
 * Frail Fish: Hmm? [coughs]
 * SpongeBob: I just wanted to say that today... Today... [reads the writing on his hand] "Today is the first day of the rest of your life. I promise to fly to the best of my ability just for you." Oh, I will not let you down.
 * Frail Fish: [coughs and then punches his chest]
 * [SpongeBob punches his chest as if he believes that he is putting his hand on his heart.]
 * SpongeBob: My heart is full too, Pen Pal. [sniffs] My heart is full too.
 * [SpongeBob runs back to the starting line. The old man coughs up a Krabby Patty that had been stuck in his throat.]
 * Frail Fish: Whew! That was a close one! What was that guy talking about? [eats Krabby Patty]
 * Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Feast your eyes upon one daring, death-defying, the Polaris, the incredible, flying sponge!
 * [The audience cheers]
 * SpongeBob: Take off. Don't die. Fly a few seconds lower to the ground. Don't die. Slam. Don't die. So simple.
 * [Something taps SpongeBob on his shoulder. SpongeBob turns around and sees a strange figure that looked like the grim reaper. SpongeBob shrieks.]
 * Steve: [uncovers his hood] Steve's the name and scythes on the game! You need a scythe? Steve's got ya covered! One scythe fits all!
 * Sandy: Get outta here, Steve!
 * Steve: [walks away] Oh, I gotta say in it.
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, I'm nervous.
 * [Sandy gives SpongeBob a pair of underpants.]
 * SpongeBob: No, it's still not that.
 * Sandy: Don't worry, SpongeBob. You'll be, uh, just fine. Yeah.
 * [Sandy backs away and walks over to a group of firefighters and paramedics.]
 * Sandy: Get ready, boys! The bronco is loose! I repeat, the bronco is loose!
 * SpongeBob: [looks at the control panel in nervousness] Just fine.
 * [SpongeBob presses several buttons and the plane begins to warm up.]
 * SpongeBob: Pen Pal, this one's for you.
 * [SpongeBob's plane drives down the runway and slowly begins to take off. SpongeBob pulls down the lever and the plane starts to fly. The audience cheers in astonishment.]
 * SpongeBob: Whoo-hoo! I'm flying! Yee-haw!
 * [Suddenly, to SpongeBob's surprise, Patrick is running on the runway below him.]
 * Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! I can't believe you can actually fly like you said in your letter!
 * SpongeBob: Patrick? You're Pen Pal?
 * Patrick: [laughs] Duh! [laughs]
 * SpongeBob: But... but you said you were dying! You're not dying!
 * Patrick: Dying? Oh, oh! You didn't read the whole letter!
 * SpongeBob: [pulls out the letter] See? It says, "I wish I could watch you fly because I am dying!"
 * Patrick: [pulls out his second letter] And here's the second page! "To see you as a real pilot, SpongeBob. Here are some other things I like to see: candy rain, a firetruck full of clowns, and... a bunch of other stuff."
 * SpongeBob: It all makes sense now! [laughs] Oh, Patrick! [laughs]
 * Patrick: [laughs as his letter slips off his hands] You thought I was dying!
 * [As SpongeBob laughs, Patrick's second half of his letter flies into SpongeBob's face. SpongeBob screams in fear and he accidentally makes to plane fly out of control. The plane's wing scoops Patrick up and Patrick falls into the cockpit. The plane turns around and gets its landing gear caught on a candy stand. SpongeBob continues to scream until Patrick takes the letter off SpongeBob's face.]
 * Patrick: Watch out!
 * [SpongeBob's sees that his plane is flying straight towards Sandy, the firefighters and the paramedics. SpongeBob desperately tries to control the plane and makes it fly upwards. The plane is now flying upside down and begins to rain candy from the candy stand as the firefighters gives a chase.]
 * Patrick: Candy rain, check!
 * [The plane then flies towards a food vendor with two children. The kids and the vendor ran away and the plane flies upwards. The candy stand hits the ice cream stand and splatters ice cream all over Sandy and the firefighters, making them appear with clown faces.]
 * Patrick: Firetruck clowns, check!
 * [The plane then flies into a flower-shaped cloud and bounces back and forth. The plane then spirals out of control and flies directly into a first class airplane.]
 * SpongeBob: Excuse me, pardon me, pardon me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, pardon me, excuse me!
 * [SpongeBob's plane comes out of the first class airplane. The airplane splits into two halves.]
 * Passengers and crew: Heave-ho!
 * [The passengers and crew pulls the airplane back in place.]
 * Patrick: Fly first class, check!
 * [SpongeBob's plane turns around. SpongeBob and Patrick gasps in horror when they see the plane's left wing is falling apart.]
 * SpongeBob: Ah, something's wrong with the plane! Here, take the controls!
 * [SpongeBob jumps out of the cockpit and goes to fix the wing.]
 * Patrick: Take what now?
 * [Patrick grabs on the handle. SpongeBob fixes the wing and the plane continues to fly out of control. The plane then scoops up Abigail Marge, who is playing tennis with Sadie, and Perry, who is acting as referee. The firetruck with Sandy and the firefighters continues chasing after SpongeBob's plane. SpongeBob and Abigail play tennis as the plane continues to fly. SpongeBob hits the tennis ball and accidentally breaks Abigail's racket.]
 * Perry: Match point, SpongeBob.
 * Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Check and check!
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] Hey, Patrick. Who's flying the plane?!
 * Patrick: I am!
 * [SpongeBob runs back into the cockpit.]
 * Patrick: No, wait.
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick both hop in the cockpit. The plane begins to break down and shakes Abigail and Perry off. Sandy and the firefighters catch Perry and Abigail with a safety net. The plane flies around and is now driven off course.]
 * SpongeBob: Hold on! We're going down!
 * [SpongeBob's plane breaks down and descends downward. SpongeBob and Patrick scream in terror. But just as the plane is about to hit the ground, it stops in midair. SpongeBob and Patrick stop screaming. SpongeBob sees that the plane's gas tank is completely empty.]
 * SpongeBob: Whew! We ran out of gas.
 * Patrick: Uh, don't worry! I've got this! [fills SpongeBob's plane with gas] Yep!
 * [SpongeBob's plane starts up again and smashes into the ground. Sandy and the firefighters arrive and try to put out the fire caused by the plane crash. SpongeBob and Patrick exit the plane unharmed.]
 * Patrick: Thanks for helping me finish my list, SpongeBob.
 * [Sandy gives SpongeBob a pair of underpants. This time, SpongeBob takes it.]
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, it was my pleasure.
 * Patrick: Really? Well, if you don't mind, I have a couple of other things I'd like to see. [pulls out his list]
 * SpongeBob: Let's hear 'em.
 * Patrick: [reads list] "An edible balloon, a skateboarding snail, a tower of loose meat that tastes like ice cream, some ghosts..."
 * [As SpongeBob and Patrick walk off into the sunset, Sandy and the firefighters struggle to put out the fire while two planes and a blimp fly around in the sky and people running around in panic, thus transitioning to the fist falling off the roof of the Chum Bucket. Plankton walks out on the roof and appears to be covering something in his wagon with an old rag.]
 * Plankton: I'm ready, I'm ready! Ready to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula! Prepare to initiate plan number... hmmm... number. What's the number? Oh well. Who cares?
 * Karen: Good question.
 * Plankton: Say what?
 * Karen: I said good luck!
 * [Karen pushes the wagon.]
 * Plankton: That formula will be mine!
 * [Plankton drives across the street and into front doors of the Krusty Krab.]
 * Plankton: [driving through the customers] Out of my way, pinheads! Move it, move it, move it! [rings the bell at Squidward's cash register] Hey there, snazola! I'm about to show you the advantage of not having a nose. Say hello to... Mr. Stinky!
 * [Plankton takes of the rag and reveals a skunk named Mr. Stinky. The customers think Mr. Stinky is a cat and look at it in awe.]
 * Plankton: That's right, everyone. Gather in real close. [pulls out remote] Time to trigger the stench! [pushes button] Yoink!
 * [The siren on Mr. Stinky's helmet lights up and the helmet lets in a bumble bee. Mr. Stinky gets really scared and sprays fumes of his horrible smell all over the Krusty Krab. The customers including Squidward couldn't take the smell and ran out of the restaurant. The fumes went into the kitchen where SpongeBob was flipping Krabby Patties.]
 * SpongeBob: Huh? [tries to wave away the fumes with his spatula] No, no, no, no, no, no!
 * [The Krabby Patties get engulfed with the fumes.]
 * SpongeBob: Not the patties! I'll save you!
 * [SpongeBob absorbs the fumes with his nose. But because the stench smelled so terrible, he teared up. Mr. Krabs, disturbed by the noise, comes out of his office.]
 * Mr. Krabs: What's all the racket out here?
 * [Mr. Krabs sniffs the air. But when he smelled the skunk fumes, his eyes turned green and popped like balloons. The customers continue to panic outside as the HAZMAT Unit condemns the restaurant so they can rid the horrible smell. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs run out with fumes all over them. A firefighter sprays the fumes off of them with a hose.]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, are you alright? What happened?
 * Mr. Krabs: I don't know. Me eyes were burnin'! All I saw was a little eyeball and a pair of antenna and... [pauses] Plankton! [SpongeBob gasps] He's still in there! Alone! With me secret formula! He could be doing anything with it! [grabs SpongeBob] He could be reading it!
 * [Mr. Krabs lets go of SpongeBob and takes off his nose.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Give me your hand, boy-oh! [grabs SpongeBob's arm] I need to borrow this. [cuts off SpongeBob's arm and puts it on his face as a nose plug] Ok, I'm going in!
 * SpongeBob: Good luck, Mr. Krabs!
 * [Mr. Krabs walks back into the restaurant and, using SpongeBob's hand as a fan, waves some of the fumes away for him to see where he's going. Mr. Stinky eats the bumble bee and didn't notice Mr. Krabs sneaking past him. Mr. Krabs makes it to his office and sees Plankton planting dynamite sticks around the safe.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Why you little...
 * Plankton: I hope you like percussion, Eugene. Because these drumsticks really go bongo! [laughs]
 * [Plankton jumps off the safe and ignites the dynamite sticks with the battery on Mr. Krabs' desk, creating a loud explosion. As the smoke clears, the safe opens. But much to Plankton's chargin, there is another safe inside.]
 * Plankton: What? The old safe in the safe routine?
 * [Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton with SpongeBob's arm.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Here's another routine! You're the meat in me knuckle sandwich!
 * Plankton: I'm not hungry!
 * [Mr. Krabs crushes Plankton with his fists. Plankton is now spattered on his left fist.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Eww. [throws away Plankton's antenna] SpongeBob!
 * [SpongeBob comes in with his right leg on the spot where his nose is.]
 * SpongeBob: Yes, sir. I see the problem.
 * [SpongeBob regrows his left arm and right leg. He uses his spatula to scoop Plankton off of Mr. Krabs' fist. Mr. Krabs opens the window and SpongeBob flings Plankton out with his spatula. Meanwhile, the HAZMAT Unit takes Mr. Stinky out of the restaurant, puts him in a basket tied with balloons, and lets him float back up to the surface. However, the wind blows the balloons and makes the basket go the other direction. The basket floats into Bikini Bottom where Mr. Stinky sprays his fumes once more. The Bikini Bottomites frantically scream and run around as the horrible smell drives them crazy. Back in the restaurant, SpongeBob blows the fumes out with a fan.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Whew! That was too close my lad. Three more safes and he would've had me secret formula.
 * [Mr. Krabs unlocks the second safe.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Looks like I'm gonna have to beef up security around here.
 * [Mr. Krabs pushes the buttons on the third safe and opens up, revealing a steel container inside. Mr. Krabs takes it out and puts it on his desk.]
 * Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna need you to do me a big favor, laddie.
 * [Mr. Krabs pushes the buttons on the container and it opens up, revealing the bottle with the secret formula inside.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [gives SpongeBob the bottle] Take this home with ya and hide it while I reevaluate my security situation.
 * [Mr. Krabs throws away the container and pounds on his desk. The vibrations of Mr. Krabs' fists shakes the room which also made SpongeBob drop the bottle.]
 * SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, how do you know it will be safe from Plankton at my house?
 * Mr. Krabs: Pisha! He'll think it's still here! His tiny brain is incapable of the kind of abstract thinking that is required for reflection. Or thoughtful reasoning and deduction. He cannot ruminate.
 * [As Mr. Krabs talks to SpongeBob, the antenna Plankton lost was recording everything and Plankton was listening from outside.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [voiceover] He cannot define the hypothesis. He's a tired clown. He'll never know it's in your house!
 * Plankton: [gets an idea] Oh, you're right, Professor Krabface! I'm much too simple-minded to look there! [laughs]
 * [The scene changes to closing time at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob quietly sneaks out and tries to go home with the secret formula. Plankton is seen standing by the sign.]
 * Plankton: Hey, there.
 * [SpongeBob hides the formula in one of his holes on his back.]
 * Plankton: Pleasant night, eh SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: [laughs nervously] Oh, uh, yes. It's a very nighty-night for a walkie.
 * Plankton: Ain't that the truth? Hey, nothing gets past you. One could say you have the formula for honesty.
 * SpongeBob: Uh, yeah. One could say that I guess. Uh, anyway. I gotta go wash my formula. [freaks out] Hair! Hair! I gotta go wash my hair! Uh, good night, Plankton.
 * [SpongeBob tips his hat, literally revealing the formula on his head. Plankton paused for a bit but relaxes.]
 * Plankton: Yeah. Gotta keep that hair clean and in a safe place.
 * SpongeBob: [laughs nervously] Okay, bye!
 * [SpongeBob leaves to go home.]
 * French Narrator: The next morning...
 * SpongeBob: Now remember, Gary. I'm entrusting you with the secret formula.
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: Stay sharp, Gary. Don't let anyone inside.
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: Bye, Gary!
 * [Plankton is on a rock, watching SpongeBob and Gary. He sees SpongeBob leave his home to work at the Krusty Krab. Plankton laughs and comes up with a plan. Inside SpongeBob's house, Gary guards the door until he hears a knock.]
 * Gary: Meow.
 * [Gary answers the door and sees Plankton in the disguise as a salesman. Plankton gently pets Gary's snail, but Gary growls angrily at him.]
 * Plankton: Why, hey there, little fella! Is SpongeBob.. [clears throat] I mean your master at home? [Plankton's fake ear slips, but he pushes it back.] Eh, perhaps I could just come inside for a minute and demonstrate our fine snail products.
 * [Plankton opens his case and shows snail care products.]
 * Plankton: Shell polish, slime deodorant, chew toys...
 * Gary: Meow! [Gary slams the door on Plankton, breaking off part of his disguise.]
 * Plankton: My leg!
 * [Gary looks through the window and sees Plankton hopping away on one of his stilts from his disguise.]
 * Plankton: Your friends won't tell ya this, but you can really use the slime deodorant, Smelly!
 * French Narrator: Moments later...
 * [Gary is seen reading the paper on SpongeBob's chair, until he hears the doorbell ringing.]
 * Gary: Meow?
 * [Gary answers the door and sees Plankton disguise as a girl scout selling cookies.]
 * Plankton: Hello, sir... [clears throat and talks in a higher voice] Hello, sir! I'm selling Sweetie Patrol cookies! We have a lovely assortment of fungi and algae flavors.
 * [Plankton sits on the sofa with the cookie box and holds out a list.]
 * Plankton: How many delicious boxes can I put you down for? If you order ten boxes, I'll qualify for my bottom-dweller badge. If you order a hundred boxes, I'll get my bling-bling badge. You know, you should hide these from your roommate. She'll eat all of them. [regular voice] If you show me your best hiding place, I'd be happy to help.
 * [It's soon shown that the sofa was pushed outside of the house with Plankton on it.]
 * Gary: Meow, meow!
 * [Gary slams the door. Plankton got so mad, he threw the cookie box on the ground and the box exploded.]
 * Plankton: [dazed] Note to self: Nitroglycerin is not a substitute for vanilla extract. [his antennas are blown to dust and he faints]
 * French Narrator: More moments later...
 * [Gary is seen growling at the window where he spots Plankton making faces at him. Gary comes out of the house.]
 * Gary: Meow?
 * [Gary discovers that it was just a decoy and growls in frustration. As he goes to look for Plankton, a hole is seen on the bottom of the house. Inside, it's revealed that the hole was made by Plankton who was actually biting his way in. Plankton spits the pineapple out of his mouth.]
 * Plankton: I forgot how much I hate pineapple.
 * [Gary continues to look for Plankton from the living room to the kitchen. As Gary slithered by his litter box, Plankton pops his head out. Gary looked suspiciously at his litter box, but continues looking for Plankton.]
 * Plankton: [munches on the snail litter] Hey, this snail litter tastes better than pineapple. [swallows] Now, where is that secret formula?
 * [Plankton hops out and runs into the living room]
 * Plankton: Where is it? Where is it? Gotta be here somewhere.
 * [Plankton knocks down a table with a plant.]
 * Plankton: Nothin' in there. [sees one of the hooks on SpongeBob's decoration] Ooh, look at that.
 * [Plankton grabs the hook and pops SpongeBob's chair. He knocks over the table and looks in the shellphone.]
 * Plankton: Hello!
 * [His voice echoes. Plankton jumps on the wall and rips of wallpaper off.]
 * Plankton: Where the barnacles is it?
 * [Plankton rips the floor and sees nothing underneath.]
 * Plankton: Where is it? Where is it? I know you're in here! You're not foolin' anybody! I went to college!
 * [Plankton runs into the kitchen, opens the fridge, and jumps up and down to find the formula. He climbs on the stove and knocks over the fridge. Then he knocks over the stove, walks through the pipe and went into the cupboards.]
 * Plankton: Nope, nope, nope.
 * [As he is searching, he throws some dishes, kitchen appliances, and a huge trash can. He comes out with a turkey baster. Plankton thought that the baster could come in handy and puts it in his pocket. Gary is napping in SpongeBob's room until he hears the commotion from downstairs.]
 * [He goes to see what's making the noise. Plankton manages to hide himself from Gary. Once the coast is clear, he runs upstairs to SpongeBob's room. Gary spots Plankton going upstairs and shutting the door. Plankton searches through SpongeBob's room to find the formula.]
 * [A light bulb pops out from Gary's eye and lights up, giving Gary an idea on how to catch Plankton.]
 * [Plankton comes out of SpongeBob's room and heads downstairs. On his way down, he slips on Gary's slime, lands and bounces off a mattress and gets flown into the ceiling fan. The fan spins him around and throws him through the basketball net. Plankton falls through the pipe and lands on a record player. Gary snickers as he caught Plankton into his trap. The player spins Plankton around until he gets caught on the needle. The player flies Plankton onto a board and he lands on a puddle of glue where he gets stuck. The bowling ball on the stool rolls down and board, squishes Plankton, rolls across the floor, and hits ten flower pots like knocking down bowling pins. Then a small vacuum cleaner comes out, sucks up the dirt and broken pottery, and traps Plankton inside. Plankton pops out of the vacuum gasping for air.]
 * Plankton: Alright, Snail! Let's go! Just you and me!
 * Gary: Meow!
 * Plankton: Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
 * [Gary fights Plankton with his eye stalks. During the fight, Plankton notices an opening in Gary's shell.]
 * Plankton: Of course! What a fool I've been!
 * [Plankton climbs into Gary's shell. Inside, the shell has random things covered in slime.]
 * Plankton: SpongeBob's hidden the secret formula inside Gary's shell! Sheesh! This place is disgusting! I bet it reeks. Good thing I don't have a nose. Huh? [turns around and sees Gary's eye following him] Aye yae yae!
 * [Gary's eye chases Plankton up, down, left, and right all around the inside of his shell. It wasn't long until SpongeBob returned home from work.]
 * SpongeBob: Gary, I'm home!
 * [SpongeBob gasps in shock to see that his house is completely demolished.]
 * SpongeBob: What happened here? [gasps] My first Krabby Patty! I had it bronzed! Oh, and I was gonna give that to my grandchildren! [gasps] My Mermaid Man collectible underpants! Oh, I could've worn them a thousand more times! [gasps] My glass of water! [teary] I was gonna drink that! Oh, the Krabby Patty formula!
 * [It's revealed that SpongeBob hid the formula on top of his television in disguise as an antenna.]
 * SpongeBob: Whew! It's safe and right where I left it.
 * [SpongeBob notices Gary with his left eye in his shell and growling.]
 * SpongeBob: Gary, did you do this?
 * Gary: [growls]
 * SpongeBob: What's the matter, Gary? Something wrong with your shell?
 * Gary: Meow, meow!
 * SpongeBob: Something's not right, Gary.
 * [Gary pulls his eye back out of his shell.]
 * SpongeBob: I'd better get you to the vet.
 * Gary: Meow.
 * [Meanwhile, inside Gary's shell, Plankton continues running around until he reaches a dead-end, which he almost falls into a deep hole.]
 * Plankton: Ha! I lost him! Now, I'm lost!
 * [Suddenly, something tilts the shell and Plankton falls into the hole. He lands into the shell's center.]
 * Plankton: Ah, my head. Oh, I must be in the center of the shell. [he sees a piece of paper stuck in the slime]What's that? [opens it] This is it! Just like I thought! It was hidden here all the time! The secret Krabby Patty formula! It's beautiful!
 * [Just then, a shimmering light appears.]
 * Plankton: The heavenly light! I always knew I'd see it once I've gotten the formula! Let me bask in its glory! [sighs]
 * [However, the light was actually coming from the vet where the doctor opened Gary's shell to find Plankton hallucinating from the fumes inside. And the paper he found is actually a shopping list.]
 * Doctor: Well, that's odd. Who's that?
 * SpongeBob: Hey, it's Plankton.
 * Doctor: What's he got there?
 * SpongeBob: Looks like one of my old grocery lists.
 * Doctor: I don't know how he got in there, but the gases inside this shell are making the little guy hallucinate. He would've smelled the gases if he had a nose like most good-hearted people. [sniffs]
 * Plankton: Ha, ha! I got it! I got it!
 * [Plankton, still hallucinating, runs out of the vet with the shopping list. The doctor, Gary, and SpongeBob watch strangely as he runs off into the sunset.]
 * Plankton: I've finally got the formula! It's mine, it's mine, it's mine, it's mine! Open the sparkling apple juice, Karen! Daddy's bringing the bacon home! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! [We transition to Sandy's Treedome with Sandy, SpongeBob, and Patrick all eating Krabby Patties.]
 * Patrick: Watch this. [opens up water helmet to insert Krabby Patties, sucks them into his mouth and burps]
 * [Both SpongeBob and Sandy giggle.]
 * [SpongeBob reaches for the Krabby Patty but gets stopped by Sandy. Then the same thing happens to Sandy, and they both repeat the same process.]
 * SpongeBob: Mmm-hey!
 * Sandy: Hey!
 * SpongeBob: Hey!
 * Sandy: Hey!
 * SpongeBob: Hey!
 * Sandy: Hey!
 * [They glare at each other and begin a karate duel.]
 * Sandy: Hiyah, hiyah! Hiyah!
 * SpongeBob: [screaming "hiyah"]
 * [They both run at each other and Sandy kicks him in the face, sending SpongeBob into her tree. As SpongeBob falls, a pile of leaves fall down on him, causing SpongeBob to dance out like a leprechaun.]
 * SpongeBob: Isn't it a little early for autumn, Sandy?
 * Patrick: Yeah, it's only, um... [looks at his bandage with a clock drawn on it] June o'clock. [eats Krabby Patty]
 * Sandy: It ain't autumn! [picks up an acorn to sniff] [gasps] Oh, my tree is dying!
 * Patrick: [hits tree with hatchet] Good, we can use the wood.
 * Sandy: Patrick, stop! I can save it with science.
 * Patrick: Okay. Hmm. [throws hatchet at her window, causing it to crack and spew water]
 * Sandy: [groans]
 * [The scene transitions to Sandy, who appears to be working on her solution for her tree.]
 * Sandy: [looks at an old-looking acorn with microscope]
 * Acorn: Feed me!
 * Sandy: Jumpin' beans on a trampoline! You're starvin'! I got to make you the best fertilizer known to critter-kind!
 * [Sandy then pours four different solutions for four trees exactly the same. The solution gives them all different reactions.]
 * Sandy: [pours first solution on one plant, causing it to burst] [gasps then screams] [pours second solution to plant, causing a tree branch to form into a human hand, which grabs Sandy by the neck] [stabs it with broom, gasps, and pants, she takes out a bottle of growth pills] Ah, growth pills. [pours third solution to plant, causing it to expand] Hi! [plant blows up in her face] Nuts. [opens her desk and pulls out her chemistry set, she takes out a baster with serum in it] Ah-ha! [pours last solution on plant, causing it to form into a miniature tree, which grows acorns] Yee-haw!
 * [The scene transitions to Sandy who is seen spraying her solution onto her tree.]
 * Sandy: [humming cheerfully] Aw, I hope this is the pick-me-up you needed ole' girl. [an acorn grows and falls onto Sandy's head] Well, kiss my grits! This here's the biggest acorn I ever did see! [more acorns fall, causing a big pile of acorns] And so are those! I'd better start storing these for winter. [shoves a whole load of acorns into her mouth] I might need an alternate storage solution.
 * [The scene cuts to Sandy, who is trying to push all her food into her storage space, which ends up failing and getting covered with acorns. She then uses her tongue to call SpongeBob.]
 * Sandy: Hey there, SpongeBob? Could you swing by my place?
 * [Sandy's tree continues to rain down acorns. Sandy and SpongeBob are in the tree where her room is filled with acorns.]
 * Sandy: I love squirreling away nuts, but this is just too much!
 * SpongeBob: I'd say you've certainly got a real nutmare on your hands.
 * [Sandy slaps SpongeBob in the face.]
 * Sandy: Just dump these somewhere! I'm gonna put more under my bed.
 * SpongeBob: Yes, ma'am!
 * [The scene changes to SpongeBob in a mythical-looking area, carrying a huge pile of acorns in a wheel barrel. He dumps the acorns over a cliff.]
 * Shalmon: [offscreen] Stop!
 * [SpongeBob turns around and sees an old fish wearing a red robe and a jellyfish hat, who is pointing his clam staff at him.]
 * SpongeBob: Whoa. Who are you?
 * Shalmon: [floats down] I am the spirit guide of the salmon people! I am the Shalmon!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, hey there, Shalmon. Uh, my name is SpongeBob.
 * Shalmon: Why do you dump your nuts on my people's land, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Oh, they're not mine. They're my friend, Sandy's.
 * Shalmon: Allow me to give you some sage advice. You must not squander nature's bounty. Nuts are meant to be eatin'. [pulls out his secrets book] It's all in my book.
 * [The Shalmon drops his book on SpongeBob, squishing him in the sand. SpongeBob pops out and reads the book.]
 * SpongeBob: Meant to be eatin' eh?
 * Shalmon: Of course! The earth provides our food and we must care for her in return. [balances on a rock] It's all about balance, my friend. Look at my garden.
 * [SpongeBob looks through his telescope and sees plants growing.]
 * SpongeBob: Wow. It's coming in great.
 * [SpongeBob adjusts the telescope to look closer, but ends up seeing armpit hair in the Shalmon's sleeve. SpongeBob laughs in embarrassment and the Shalmon pulls his sleeve back up.]
 * Shalmon: [sighs] Over there!
 * [SpongeBob looks and sees a much beautiful looking garden with real plants growing.]
 * SpongeBob: Even better!
 * [The scene changes to Sandy's tree continuing to rain down acorns. Sandy is storing her nuts in her fridge.]
 * Sandy: So some Shalmon guy told you people would want to eat my nuts and you believe it?
 * SpongeBob: Uh huh. Uh huh. Surely the Shalmon isn't a sham.
 * Sandy: Shertainly not! I mean certainly not! [pulls out her cookbook] Let's see what we can cook up. Aged Nut Brie. Ghost Nut Chili. How 'bout Nutty Butter? Seems easy enough to make.
 * [Sandy pulls a branch and a huge bundle of acorns rain down. She takes a cleaver and cuts a small amount of acorns she needs to make Nutty Butter. She rolls the acorns into liquid with her log-shaped rolling pin. Then she scoops the liquefied acorns into a bowl and stirs it all up before adding a dash of lard to it. She mixes them together and adds some salt on it. She then tastes the Nutty Butter.]
 * Sandy: Woo-hoo! That's delicious!
 * [Sandy gives a handful of Nutty Butter to SpongeBob for him to taste.]
 * SpongeBob: Wow! Patrick would wanna try this.
 * Patrick: [arrives at the scene] Try what?
 * [Sandy and SpongeBob are startled by Patrick's sudden appearance. Patrick takes a handful of Nutty Butter and rubs it on his stomach.]
 * Sandy: Patrick, that Nutty Butter is for eating.
 * Patrick: I know. [takes off his helmet and bites on his stomach] Ow! [sucks the butter and bites again] Ow! [sucks the butter and bites again] Ow!
 * Sandy: Hmm. Why don't you boys take some for the road?
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: Thanks!
 * [Sandy gives SpongeBob and Patrick two jars full of her Nutty Butter and they leave. Sandy begins to clean up until she hears a knock. She answers and finds that it's Patrick.]
 * Patrick: Can I have some more? [points to his back that is smeared by her Nutty Butter] It's hard to eat off this side of me. [tries to reach with his tongue but couldn't]
 * Sandy: Sure, Patrick! Here's the last of it!
 * [Sandy gives Patrick seven jars full of her Nutty Butter.]
 * Patrick: Thanks, Sandy!
 * [The scene changes to Sandy finally getting her tree all cleaned up from the acorns.]
 * Sandy: There. Everything is back to normal. [she hears noise outside her treedome] What in tarnation?
 * [Sandy walks out of her treedome and sees a crowd of people chanting "We Want Nutty Butter!" at her front door. Patrick appears in the crowd.]
 * Patrick: Hey, Sandy!
 * Sandy: Patrick, what's going on here?
 * Patrick: I want more Nutty Butter.
 * Sandy: Who are all these people?
 * [The crowd continues to chant.]
 * Patrick: Oh. [laughs] They licked the Nutty Butter off my back. [Patrick's back is all clean but there is one particle of Nutty Butter leftover. Frankie Billy licks it off his back.] And now they're here for more.
 * Sandy: Aw, gosh Patrick. I don't have enough to feed everyone.
 * Abigail Marge: But it's the only thing my boy will eat!
 * Archie: Guess I'll have to go to bed hungry again.
 * [The crowd grumbles in disgust at Sandy's inconsideration.]
 * Sandy: Well, I don't want to let anyone down. I can make some more acorns!
 * [The scene changes to Sandy at her booth selling her Nutty Butter to the crowd. SpongeBob helps Sandy by selling the Nutty Butter to the people in the streets and to a worm. Everything was going fantastic until Sandy gives the last jar to the last customer in line while Patrick eats some Nutty Butter from his own jar.]
 * Sandy: Making everyone's day with my Nutty Butter really gives me the warm and tinglies!
 * Patrick: Uh huh.
 * Sandy: In fact, demands have been so high, I scienced up a way to increase my production.
 * [Sandy's tree is being conducted by a fertilizer tank she made and it provides more acorns for her to make Nutty Butter.]
 * Sandy: SpongeBob, here, scoops acorns onto my conveyor belt. [SpongeBob shovels some acorns on the conveyor belt] Then the tubes take them inside [the tube sucks up the acorns and Sandy pulls the lever down on her Nutty Butter machine to put some in a jar] where I turn them into Nutty Butter.
 * [Sandy's fertilizer tank makes the tree provide more acorns.]
 * SpongeBob: [reading the Shalmon's book] Sandy, according to the Shalmon's book, we shouldn't try to force nature to give us more than she's able.
 * Sandy: Don't worry about my tree, SpongeBob. Worry about the crowd of Nutty Butter fans outside.
 * Crowd: We want Nutty Butter! We want Nutty Butter!
 * Sandy: We're gonna need a lot more acorns to feed them all.
 * [Sandy injects some serum into the root and the tree provides more acorns. She goes outside with her wagon full of Nutty Butter to sell to the crowd, but unbeknownst to her, her tree slowly begins to wilt. SpongeBob shovels more acorns onto the conveyor belt until he notices what's happening to the tree as acorns and dead leaves begin to fall.]
 * SpongeBob: Uh oh. Sandy's tree's not lookin' so good. I don't think it can take much more of this, Patrick.
 * Patrick: Uh. Well, it's like Sandy said, "Something, something, something, science." And who are we to argue with science?
 * [SpongeBob wasn't so sure about it but he continues shoveling acorns on the conveyor belt. Suddenly, the fertilizer machine stops working and the tree stops making more acorns.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh no! The nuts stopped!
 * Patrick: Hold on! I got this!
 * [Patrick pokes the tree with his umbrella, but much to his horror, the tree cracks, loses its leaves and inexplicably dies. SpongeBob and Patrick scream.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh no! Patrick, we have to do something! Sandy'll never forgive us if we ruined her tree!
 * Patrick: And I'll never forgive her if she runs out of Nutty Butter!
 * [SpongeBob tries to fix the tree by stapling some dead leaves on it while Patrick tries to make more Nutty Butter by eating some acorns and spitting them into a bucket. The scene changes to Sandy selling the remaining jars of Nutty Butter to the crowd.]
 * Sandy: Please, please no pushing! I'll make more! Remember, Sandy's the squirrel you can count on!
 * [Sandy goes back inside her treedome when she sees her wilted tree, much to her horror.]
 * Sandy: Oh no! What in the Sam Hill is goin' on around here?
 * SpongeBob: The tree got real sick!
 * Patrick: Don't worry. I made more Nutty Butter with the rest of the nuts.
 * Sandy: You used all the nuts? Jumpin' Jiminy! Time for another dose of fertilizer!
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, wait! I don't think that's what your tree needs!
 * Shalmon: [appears at the top of Sandy's wilted tree] The boy is right! Why do you hurt your tree? The tree would never hurt you. [gets pricked by a splinter] Ouch! Dang splinters!
 * SpongeBob: Shalmon?
 * Sandy: Wait, you're the one who said I should feed my nuts to the people?
 * Shalmon: Indeed. But to feed so many from a single tree... Let me share with you a story. Long ago, before fish walked the seas, there lived in the sky one sun.
 * [As the Shalmon tells his story, the sun appears in the image of SpongeBob.]
 * Sun: [laughs]
 * Shalmon: One star.
 * [The star appears in the image of Patrick.]
 * Star: Hello!
 * Shalmon: And one moon.
 * [The moon appears in the image of Squidward.]
 * Moon: What the?
 * [In the story, the sun plays baseball with the star.]
 * Shalmon: During the day, the star would play with the sun.
 * [The star is seen chasing the moon.]
 * Shalmon: At night, the star would play with the moon.
 * Moon: Get away from me!
 * [The star spins the moon and throws him.]
 * Shalmon: The star did not want to let his friends down. But he alone could not keep up with both the sun and the moon.
 * [The star is seen sleeping as the sun circles around him. The star sleeps on top of the sun but is burned. The sun goes back up in the sky as it changes to night.]
 * Moon: Finally. Some peace.
 * Shalmon: That is when the star had an idea.
 * [The star wakes up, buffs up and explodes into millions of stars.]
 * Moon: Hmm? Hmm? Ahh! [sees multiple stars] Oh no. There goes the neighborhood.
 * [The stars chase the moon.]
 * Shalmon: By creating many copies, the star was able to keep the sun and moon happy without wearing himself out. Do you understand why I tell you this tale?
 * [The Shalmon sees Sandy, SpongeBob and Patrick sleeping below, meaning that they fell asleep during his story.]
 * Shalmon: Hello? Wake up!
 * [Sandy, SpongeBob and Patrick wake up.]
 * Patrick: [angry] I didn't know there was gonna be a test!
 * Sandy: Oh, I got so wrapped up in not letting anyone down that I asked too much of my tree and my friends.
 * Shalmon: Perhaps with many trees, you can continue serving your community in a natural and sustainable manner. [thinks for a second] I mean pretty much anything is better than this mess! Yeesh!
 * Sandy: Thanks, Shammy. But I'm a one tree kind of squirrel. I'm gonna do what I should've done in the first place. Order the ole' girl some nutritious new dirt from Texas!
 * [The scene changes to Sandy reviving the tree with some new fertilizer from Texas while SpongeBob and Patrick help her. The Shalmon is watching outside from Sandy's treedome.]
 * Shalmon: Well, my work here is done. It's time I return to my people.
 * [A bus drives up and the Shalmon enters it.]
 * Shalmon: Let me offer some sage advice. You must listen to the earth and the stars, for only they can guide you!... To my stop at the corner of Olive and Victory.
 * Nat Peterson: Sir, stand behind the white line please.
 * Shalmon: Typical. It never ends!
 * [The bus drives away. Later, at the Krusty Krab, Squidward is blowing a bunch of paper from straws onto a large stack.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [bursts through the front door] Rev your excitement engines, Mr. Squidward! [shaking Squidward] Do you not know what tomorrow is?
 * Squidward: Another monotonous day I spend walking in slow motion towards an empty horizon?
 * Mr. Krabs: No, that's today! Tomorrow is Food Con!
 * SpongeBob: [appears from the blown paper straw stack]Whoo! Food Con! Wait, what's a Food Con?
 * Squidward: Additionally, who cares?
 * Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! Food Con is the biggest convention of food fans in the entire ocean! [cue an imaginary sequence with Mr. Krabs and others are at Food Con] The best chefs and cooks gather together and compete for the top prize: The Golden Cornucopia! [an image is shown with the Mayor giving Mr. Krabs the Golden Cornucopia]
 * SpongeBob: Oh boy! The Krabby Patty is a sure bet to win the Golden Cornucopia!
 * Mr. Krabs: You darn tootin' it is! And you two will be me right claw men! Eh, could use some extra muscle to set up the booth. [he looks over to see Patrick trying to eat a Krabby Patty and ends up lifting the table to eat it] Perfect! Let's hit the road!
 * [The scene changes to outside the Krusty Krab.]
 * Mr. Krabs: As you can see gentlemen, I have spared no expense on our transportation! [camera pans over to a nice, looking boat]
 * SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Whoa!
 * [The nicer boat suddenly drives away and smaller, run-down boat with a trailer on the back is shown.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Ta da!
 * SpongeBob: Woo!
 * Patrick: What a ride!
 * Squidward: [groans]
 * Mr. Krabs: [opens the trailer revealing it is full of Krabby Patties] And I brought plenty of free samples to sell!
 * SpongeBob: This is the best day ever!
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: Road trip!
 * [They both play the air guitar as Squidward gets covered in exhaust from Mr. Krabs' boat. The scene changes to Mr. Krabs driving out of Bikini Bottom in his boat. Squidward is knitting a seatbelt warmer while SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing and playing in the back seat.]
 * SpongeBob: [holds his left eye] I spy with my little eye...
 * Patrick: Mr. Krabs!
 * SpongeBob: Yes!
 * Patrick: [laughs] I spy with my little eye... [opens his left eye and pulls out a smaller eyeball]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs?
 * Patrick: Oh ho! Yes! Yes!
 * [SpongeBob pops his eyes out of his body.]
 * SpongeBob: I spy with my little eye...
 * Patrick: Mr. Krabs?
 * SpongeBob: Oh, how did you know?
 * Mr. Krabs: [irritated] Enough!! You both are barnacles on me brain!
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: [points to a billboard] Whoa! Look at that!
 * SpongeBob: The world's second biggest lump is only 50 miles away! We gotta see it!
 * Squidward and Mr. Krabs: No.
 * Patrick: The world's least exciting sweater! My parents fell in love there! We gotta go!
 * Squidward and Mr. Krabs: No.
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: Cool toilet!
 * Squidward and Mr. Krabs: No.
 * Mr. Krabs: We are not stoppin' 'til we get to Food Con!
 * [The scene changes to Mr. Krabs driving next to a truck.]
 * SpongeBob: Hey!
 * [SpongeBob motions the truck driver to pull down his lever and honk his horn. The truck driver did so but wakes Squidward up from his nap.]
 * Patrick: Hey!
 * [Patrick motions to another truck driver to pull down his lever and honk his horn. The truck driver did so but wakes Squidward up from his nap again.]
 * Squidward: Grr!! For the last time, we get it! Trucks have horns!
 * SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward! Give it a try!
 * Squidward: If I do, will you promise to stop?
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: Yes!
 * Squidward: Alright. Hey!
 * [Squidward motions to another truck driver to pull down his lever and honk his horn. But instead of honking his horn, the truck driver pulls his lever and his truck exhaust blows some smoke in Squidward's face.]
 * Squidward: Typical.
 * Patrick: You did it wrong, Squidward.
 * Squidward: [annoyed] I did it exactly the way you did it!
 * Mr. Krabs: [extremely irritated] Everybody pipe down!!! I don't wanna hear another peep from anyone until we get to Food Con!
 * SpongeBob: Peep!
 * Mr. Krabs: Not a peep!
 * SpongeBob: Peep!
 * Mr. Krabs: Not a peep!
 * SpongeBob: Peep! [points ahead]
 * Everyone: PEEP'S CLIFF!!! [screams]
 * [Mr. Krabs drives his boat over Peep's Cliff and ends up falling into a river. The river drifts the boat over the waterfall and through the pipe of a flowing dam. The pipe spits the boat out and sends it flying around a tornado. The boat flies past two airplanes as everyone in the boat continues to scream. The boat lands safely on a dessert wasteland.]
 * Everyone: Whew!
 * [The boat drives slowly until it bumps into a flower. The boat comes apart and the air bag blows up in Mr. Krabs' face. Mr. Krabs moans in disgust.]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? [grabs Mr. Krabs' eyes] Blink if you're alive.
 * [Mr. Krabs blinks his eyes.]
 * SpongeBob: Whew! Thank Neptune, we're ok!
 * Squidward: Well, at least we have plenty of food while we're stuck out here.
 * [Squidward opens the trailer but much to his horror finds it completely empty. Patrick is shown sitting on top of a pile of food wrappers, meaning that Patrick ate all of the free samples during the trip.]
 * Patrick: [burps] It was an accident that it fell into my mouth!
 * [Squidward, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs freak out at Patrick's gluttonous behavior. SpongeBob searches through the wrappers to find some extra food and finds the last remaining Krabby Patty.]
 * SpongeBob: Don't worry, guys. We can still win Food Con. There's one patty left.
 * Mr. Krabs: We gotta get movin'! The judgin' starts tomorrow! Now, since you boys caused the accident, you'll be haulin' the trailer.
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick lift the trailer.]
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah! Haulin' the trailer!
 * [The trailer crushes SpongeBob and Patrick underneath. The scene changes to them pulling the trailer with a rope on the road while Squidward and Mr. Krabs sit on it.]
 * French Narrator: And so, SpongeBob and Patrick begin their narrowing task. [a wild snail howls] Tell it to the wagon, not just by ropes, but by their own foolish mistakes. Onward, they trench.
 * [As they travel, a tentacle from a giant octopus grabs a sunken ship and pulls it down a trench. The scene changes to SpongeBob and Patrick pulling the trailer up a snowy mountain. Mr. Krabs, blinded by his own selfishness and greed, whips them to make them go faster while Squidward freezes.]
 * French Narrator: Pushed by Mr. Krabs, whose desires blind him to the pain he influenced. In short, this whole trip is beginning to look like a whoopsie.
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick stop at a forest where they collapse from exhaustion and are worn out from pulling the trailer.]
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, are you ok? [falls flat on his face]
 * Patrick: 100%.
 * [Patrick's feet pop like balloons and Patrick falls flat on his back.]
 * Squidward: Mr. Krabs, we've got to stop for the night if you want SpongeBob and Patrick to live! I'm not saying that's what I want, I'm just telling you the facts.
 * [The scene changes to SpongeBob, Squidward, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs sitting around the campfire and set up a campsite for them to spend the night. As they sit together, strange sounds begin to scare them. A howling sound frightens them.]
 * SpongeBob: We must guard this last patty with our very lives! It's the only way to win Food Con! And who knows what scary, hungry things are out there in the woods waiting to gobble it up!
 * [Various eyes appear behind SpongeBob and he puts the patty on a stump.]
 * SpongeBob: Positions everyone!
 * [SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward position themselves to protect the Krabby Patty at all costs. Suddenly, they hear something growling in the bushes. They get scared by the growling sound until a small snail pops out and meows.]
 * SpongeBob: Aww. Hey, little fella.
 * [SpongeBob thought the snail was harmless and friendly. But to his surprise, the snail transforms into a monster and roars at them. Everyone screams and the snail monster grabs the Krabby Patty.]
 * Everyone: The patty!
 * [The snail monster begins to fly away with the Krabby Patty.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, what are we gonna do?!
 * Mr. Krabs: Don't eat my patty!
 * [Mr. Krabs grabs Squidward and throws him in the air. Squidward ends up in the snail monster's claws and the monster eats Squidward. However, the monster spits Squidward out and rubs his tongue, meaning that he didn't like the taste of Squidward. Squidward falls flat on his face in the ground and SpongeBob catches the Krabby Patty.]
 * SpongeBob: Squidward, you've saved the Krabby Patty!
 * Squidward: Whoopee.
 * [Soon, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs begin to grow hungry and their stomach are growling like crazy. They all look at the Krabby Patty.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Maybe I could just eat a pickle.
 * Squidward: Maybe I could just eat the corner of the lettuce.
 * Patrick: I don't wanna be a hog. I'll just eat what's leftover.
 * [They try to get the Krabby Patty but they are blocked by SpongeBob.]
 * SpongeBob: No, we can't do that! I know we're all hungry, but we must stay focused! Remember Food Con! Remember the cornucopia!
 * Mr. Krabs: [whispers to Squidward] He says "Food Con". But all I hear is "food".
 * [The scene changes to SpongeBob guarding the patty from the others and the fire is doused. SpongeBob is becoming very tired.]
 * Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob. You look tired. You want me to guard the patty for a bit?
 * SpongeBob: [yawns] Thanks, Patrick. That'll be great.
 * [Patrick takes the Krabby Patty and SpongeBob goes to sleep. However, SpongeBob immediately wakes up when he realizes what Patrick's going to do. He stops Patrick from eating the Krabby Patty.]
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, no!
 * Patrick: I can't believe you thought I would eat it!
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm just hungry and tired and I feel like I'm all alone doing the right thing and I...
 * [SpongeBob sees Patrick trying to eat the patty with his foot and stops him from doing so.]
 * SpongeBob: Hey!
 * Patrick: But I'm hungry!
 * [SpongeBob punches Patrick's foot and pushes his mouth back up to his head.]
 * Patrick: Ow! [laughs nervously]
 * [The scene changes to Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs grinning evilly at each other.]
 * Squidward: I'll lure him to sleep with a lovely lullaby.
 * Mr. Krabs: Ooh, good idea. Music soothes the savage beast.
 * [Squidward attempts to play music on his clarinet to put SpongeBob to sleep, but his plan utterly fails when the snail monster grabs him and carries him off.]
 * Squidward: What the? [screams]
 * Mr. Krabs: Did I say "soothe"? I guess I meant enrages.
 * [Squidward continues to scream until the snail monster drops him to the ground. Squidward falls flat on his face and his clarinet breaks.]
 * Squidward: Everybody's a critic.
 * [The scene changes to SpongeBob guarding the patty and Mr. Krabs comes up with a safe he made himself.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hey there, boy-oh! I've taken the liberty of creatin' a safe to secure our precious patty.
 * SpongeBob: Great idea, Mr. Krabs!
 * Mr. Krabs: [opens his safe] Just put in right in here. I'll even step away while you do it.
 * [As SpongeBob puts the Krabby Patty in the safe, Mr. Krabs uses the extra hole in his safe as an opening for the patty to enter his mouth.]
 * SpongeBob: Pew, it smells really bad in there.
 * Mr. Krabs: Ok, just do it already!
 * [SpongeBob closes the safe on Mr. Krabs' mouth.]
 * SpongeBob: No!
 * [Mr. Krabs throws the safe away.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Enough of this! I am your boss and I order you to give me that patty!
 * SpongeBob: No, Mr. Krabs! I will not! But I will give you these.
 * [SpongeBob presents them with some patties he made out of the leaves, dirt, rocks, sticks, worms and mud.]
 * SpongeBob: Nature Patties!
 * Patrick: Oh boy!
 * Squidward: How delightful!
 * Mr. Krabs: Dig in, boys!
 * [Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs taken a bite of the Nature Patties, but they find it very disgusting.]
 * Squidward: Oh! It's like eating the inside of a lawn mower!
 * Mr. Krabs: I think mine is mostly stones!
 * SpongeBob: [swings above them] Out here, we call them forest tomatoes.
 * [Mr. Krabs and Squidward spit the Nature Patties out and glare at SpongeBob. Patrick, however, seems to enjoy it and swallows it.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Enough of this! [tries to grab the patty but is halted by SpongeBob]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, remember Food Con!
 * Mr. Krabs: You can't win Food Con if you starve to death! Now, give me that Krabby Patty boy-oh!
 * SpongeBob: No! I'm doing this for your own good! I'm protecting you all from yourselves!
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, in that case, you leave me no choice. Get him!!!
 * SpongeBob: Yeow!!
 * [Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs chase SpongeBob all over the forest in a barbaric rage.]
 * Patrick: Hunger!
 * [Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs continue to chase SpongeBob until SpongeBob hides behind a tree and loses sight of them. SpongeBob's stomach growls in hunger and begins to hallucinate.]
 * Krabby Patty: Hey! Psst! It's me! The patty!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, hi.
 * Krabby Patty: It's just me and you out here, now. So, just do it. Eat me.
 * SpongeBob: What about Food Con?
 * Krabby Patty: [floats above SpongeBob] Oh, forget Food Con. You're starving and I'm right here. [licks SpongeBob]
 * SpongeBob: Maybe you're right.
 * Krabby Patty: Of course, I'm right. I'm a talking sandwich.
 * SpongeBob: [grabs the patty] Yes, a sandwich has no reason to lie.
 * [SpongeBob slowly but surely attempts to eat the Krabby Patty but suddenly snaps out of his hallucination.]
 * SpongeBob: [gasps] No! I made a vow! I will not eat you!
 * Mr. Krabs: [offscreen] Shh! Shh! I hear him over there! He's arguing with the patty! Get him!
 * [Mr. Krabs jumps out but misses. Squidward jumps out but also misses. Patrick tries to jump out but trips over the stump. SpongeBob walks over Patrick and continues to run from his barbaric friends.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Don't let him get away!
 * [SpongeBob runs through the bushes until he reaches his way out of the forest. He bumps into a line of people wearing food costumes standing in front of Food Con.]
 * SpongeBob: What? [gasps] Food Con!
 * [SpongeBob looks at Food Con in awe until his friends, who are still in a barbaric rage, find him.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Get him!
 * SpongeBob: Guys, we're here!
 * [Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs chase SpongeBob through the line.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry!
 * SpongeBob: You're all not eating the patty!
 * [Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs continue to chase SpongeBob until they reached inside the building. They accidently bump into a man in a soda suit, causing him to spill soda on the ground and makes SpongeBob slip. Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs all pounce on SpongeBob and the mayor is on the stage announcing the winners.]
 * Mayor: And I hereby award the Golden Cornucopia too...
 * [SpongeBob squeezes out of Squidward, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs and makes it to the stage with the patty.]
 * SpongeBob: Please! Try a delicious Krabby Patty!
 * Mayor: What's this? A late entry? Hmm...
 * [As the mayor looks at the patty it is revealed that the real Krabby Patty had been switched by one of SpongeBob's Nature Patties.]
 * SpongeBob: [slow motion] Nature Patty?!
 * [SpongeBob looks at his friends and sees Patrick holding the real Krabby Patty.]
 * Patrick: [slow motion] Mmm! Krabby Patty!
 * [Patrick selfishly eats the Krabby Patty out of greed and SpongeBob becomes extremely worried. SpongeBob gasps in horror as the mayor eats the Nature Patty.]
 * Mayor: Oh, this is the most complex... organic... irresistible flavor I have ever had the pleasure of tasting!
 * [The mayor eats the Nature Patty as SpongeBob appears speechless at the amazing but unexpected results.]
 * Mayor: The winner is... the Krabby Patty!
 * [The mayor presents SpongeBob the Golden Cornucopia.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, excuse me, sir. That's not the real Krabby...
 * [Mr. Krabs shuts SpongeBob's mouth and grabs the Golden Cornucopia.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Put your truth in, boy! We won!
 * [The crowd cheers.]
 * Patrick: The Krabby Patty won! It won! [eats a clam]
 * Squidward: Yes!
 * [The truck exhaust blows smoke in Squidward's face and Squidward throws away his hot dog.]
 * Squidward: [groans]
 * [The story ends.]