The Get Along Vault

Hey, you wanna go to that new Ryan Gosling movie? A spy thriller? That's what you wanna do on your night off from spying? Ryan Gosling is shirtless. It could be about chalk, and I would still go. Ooh, chocolate bonbons. No, no, no, no. Those are not bonbons. Those are bomb bombs. They're chocolate-covered explosives. It's a spy gadget. You know what? How about you just have an apple? If all you got is fresh fruit, I might as well eat at home. Hey, that's my juice. Sorry. Here you go. I'm really looking forward to you growing out of this annoying phase. Oh, but that's right. You're done growing. You take that back. You keep pointing that finger at me, you're gonna be the only nine-fingered kid in your class. I'm not pointing at you. I'm pointing around you. I'm pointing over you. I'm pointing next to you. I think I made my point. - I let you throw me. - (Arguing) Hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop it now. Your mother and I are tired of you not getting along. - It's not my fault! - (Both arguing) Shut it, shut it! That's right. I shut you down. I'm putting a stop to this once and for all. We've got a mission, and you're doing it together. - Just you two. - And Judy. And Judy. Just you two and Judy. You have to work together, figure out how to get along, and successfully complete the assignment. Why does this seem so familiar? Stop pointing at me. I'm not pointing at you. I'm pointing around you. - You're a butt. - You're a butt. - No, you are. - Hey! If you can't figure out how to get along, we will figure it out for you. This is your get-along shirt. Now get along. Work together and figure it out. Work together and figure it out. Bank robber Andrew "The Phantom" Krivsky has been breaking into high-security vaults. Your mission is to watch how he does it, and report back. I bet I can figure out how to break into a vault. Just like you figured out how to break Mom's collectible President Lincoln plate. You promised you wouldn't say anything. - Well, I just did. - (Arguing) Ah-ah-ah-ah! You want me to get the shirt? Wait, did something happen to my Lincoln plate? Mom, relax. You got it from the back of a catalog, not from Lincoln. Oh, when danger comes for you You know I'll stand beside you 'Cause ain't nobody keep things hustle cool I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire Don't tell nobody, tell nobody I'm not perfect So many things I wanna tell you But I, I, I, I keep it undercover Livin' my life, no way to learn Doin' my thing, gonna make it work Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless But I always got your back Nobody can do it like I can I gotta find out who I am Ain't got to worry about me It's all part of the plan I keep it undercover. I keep it undercover. GPS said 48 minutes. I got us here in 12. Who's the GPS now? Well, I guess it is a lot quicker when you avoid driving on the actual road. Did I get us here or not? Judy, please, okay? We need to watch every move that that safecracker makes. Why do you get to bark the orders? We're both in charge. Judy, please, we need to watch every move that that safecracker makes. Good to know, because you both just missed the safecracker trying to crack open the safe. What's he doing? I think fixing his hair. No, he's using the hairspray to disable the door's thermal sensors. Ooh, now he's blocking the door's magnetic field with a sheet of foil. Simple and ingenious. Like you, but without the ingenious part. Now he's not doing anything at all. That's weird. He should be cracking the code to the vault by now. You should be cracking the code to facial hair, but I guess we all gotta go at our own pace, right? - What's he waiting for? - I think we should go in. I think we should wait. - I think we should go in. - I think we should wait. - We need to go in. - We need to Wait. Finally we're on the same page. No. You see that itsy-bitsy spider? It's the fourth time it crawled up the wall and didn't make it. So you're saying we've been watching a loop of a spider crawling up a wall Do you know what that means? It means that we're easily entertained. No, it means that the bank robber switched over to pre-recorded surveillance footage. He's probably already cracked the code, and gotten in and we didn't see any of it. We gotta go in. That was my idea to go in. I said it first. I'm getting too old for this nonsense. (Knock on door) - Hi, Jody. - Hi, Kira. - What are you doing tonight? - Nothing. Why? - Well, it's my birthday - Oh. - and all of my friends are busy. - Oh. - And I already booked a sitter for Petey. - Oh. So I thought maybe you and I could grab a bite. Oh. Well, I said I had no plans, so I can't think of any reason why I can't go. Although, man, I am trying. Hi, Craig. What are you doing tonight? I have plans, very important plans that I can't get out of no matter what. That's right. Wasn't I supposed to do that thing with you? Nope, just me. Craig Gals' night out! I'll pick you up in an hour. Oh, and don't forget your wallet. The birthday girl eats for free. See? I was right. He set up a video loop. Now he's gone. You're right about the video loop, but you're wrong about him being gone. (Screams) Ow! You kicked the wrong butt. So you admit you're a butt. Great. We're locked in here. It's all your fault, Ernie. Me? How is this my fault? I don't know, but it is. Oh, relax. We'll get out eventually. No, I'll get out eventually. You two I'm not so sure of. What are you talking about? According to my calculations, there's only enough air in here to last you six hours. Ha ha, breathers. We're running out of air. I'm not gonna make it. I'm not gonna make it! Ernie, if you don't shut up, you're definitely not gonna make it. Don't tell me what to do. You're not in charge of this mission. What mission? We are locked in a vault. You wanna be in charge? Be my guest. (Clears throat loudly) Excuse me. Everyone. Listen up. Stop what you're doing. I've got a big announcement. From now on, Ernie's in charge. Please, Ernie, tell us, what would you like to do? Pee. I need to pee. Ernie, you just need to focus on something else. Look into my eyes. You're evil. We need to get out of here now. I say we call Mom and Dad. No, we can solve this using old-fashioned brain power. Or should I say, nail power. Ow! If we ever get out of here, you owe me some new pants. Noted. Buy Ernie new mom jeans. Plan B. We use Judy as a battering ram. Do I get a say in this? One more time, one more time. It's not working. It hasn't even made a dent. Speak for yourself. And by the way, all that energy just used up an extra hour of air. Now you're down to four-and-a-half hours. Great. Time to get in contact with Mom and Dad. You know, it takes a real skill to take credit for other people's ideas. But you make it look so easy. (Kids arguing) Kids, kids, calm down. Just take a deep breath. On second thought, don't. Don't worry. We'll be there as soon as we can. Well time for Jody's birthday. And yes, this is the dress I wore to Aunt Lucille's funeral. It seemed appropriate. Baby, I'm gonna tell you something, and I want you to remain calm. Okay. The kids are locked in that vault, and they're running out of air. That's great! You're happy our kids are in danger? No. Now I have an excuse not to go out with Jody Goldfeder. Let's save our kids. I'm not gonna wait for Mom and Dad. I'm gonna figure out the combination to this keypad. One, one, one, one. - (Buzzer) - Nope. One, one, one, two. - (Buzzer) - Nope. One, one, one, three. - (Buzzer) - Nope. Are you trying to annoy us to death because suffocating just isn't fun enough for you? Fine. You figure out the combination. No. There's gotta be a million possibilities. That'll just drain her battery. It's not a good use of her resources. Compared to what? When you slammed her repeatedly into a metal door? Okay, how about this? Judy, do you have a drill bit? Do I have a drill bit? Okay, two drills are on a ship when a fire alarm goes off. One drill says to the other drill, "Don't worry. It's just a drill. " Sorry. Kira!! Kira! Oh, it's you, Mrs. Goldfeder. Sounds like a cat was trapped in a mulcher. I'm going out with Kira. Or I was. Nobody's home. Unless. . She's throwing me a surprise party. That's weird, I'm supposed to go out with KC. Maybe we should just wait here. No. I'm waiting inside. They gave you a key? Gave, took. It's a fine line. Actually, it's larceny. Don't worry, babies, we're here. That's right, kids. We'll crack this safe. How the heck do we crack this safe? KC, Ernie, tell us exactly how Krivsky broke in so we can do the same thing and get you out. Yeah, about that. Um we didn't actually find out. You see, there was this itsy-bitsy spider. Itsy-bitsy spider? We better act fast. The lack of oxygen is already affecting his brain. Kira's taking me to a fancy steakhouse for dinner. She doesn't know it yet, but she is. Lucky her. I'm gonna try KC again. Ooh, chocolate bonbons. Happy birthday to me. Tell me you didn't just eat one of those chocolates. (Muffled) I sure did. They're the bomb. You have no idea. No pressure or anything, Dad, but if you don't get us out of here in the next 90 minutes, you're definitely not getting anything for Father's Day. Wait. What's wrong with me? Kids, I just realized. Judy's with you. She can generate oxygen for up to 24 hours. As long as she's on, you're fine. That that is great wait. Judy, why didn't you tell us that before? Because nobody asked me. Oh, no. How much oxygen do we have left? Well, now we have no way of knowing, thanks to you, because the one who was counting down is now down for the count. (Wheezing inhalation) (Exhales slowly) - What are you doing? - Trying to conserve air. By sucking in ten times more than you need? Fine. What are you doing now? Saving it for later. Do you even know how air works? Do you know how shutting your pie hole works? You know what? I'm never talking to you again for as long as I live. Oh, great. It'll be the best one hour and 15 minutes of my life. We're running out of time, Craig. The time it takes me to stop doing what I'm doing to listen to you say we're running out of time is time I could be using to figure this thing out. That's exactly what you said when you were deactivating that bomb in Argentina. Your eyebrows grew back, didn't they? You always do this, Craig. Always, Kira? I always do this? As in every time I try to open a bank vault my kids are trapped in while their oxygen runs out? Now, please. Give me some space. I can feel you breathing on the back of my neck. Okay, fine. But for the record, my right eyebrow has never been the same. Thank you for noticing. Some birthday. I'm just gonna go home. No! No, you can't go. You might hurt Petey. What are you talking about? I mean, uh, you might hurt Petey's feelings by not being out on your birthday. That makes no sense. Well, this is gonna make even less sense, but if you stay, I will give you a birthday foot massage. All right. If you insist. But be careful. I haven't had a pedicure in six months. I'm like a hawk down there. I'm getting so tired. You're fine. Just don't go to sleep. Mom, tick-tock. Your dad's working on it, honey. It's going really, really well. Couldn't be going better. Won't be long now. We're never getting out of here. Why do you say that? Because Mom's being super positive. Oh, no. This can't be the end. I never wore an ascot. I never ate escargot. Never even found out what escargot is. Really? Those are your big dreams? What about graduating college, or traveling the world? Getting married? You really think someone will marry me? Yeah, of course. Oh, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. Well, just in case we don't make it out of here, you should know that even though you're annoying, and you smell weird, and when you eat, you sound like a hippopotamus with a sinus infection you're my brother, and I love you. I love you, too. Aw. We haven't been this close since Mom and Dad put us in that (Both) get-along shirt. Get-along shirt. Get-along shirt. Bro, that's it. That's why our parents haven't gotten us out yet. It's not that they can't. It's that they don't want to. What are you talking about? We're not running out of air. They're trying to teach us a lesson. This is our get-along vault. Oh! Nope, still not following. They want us to work together to figure out how to get out of here. We have nothing to worry about. Mom and Dad could get us out any time they want. I can't do it. I can't do it! We're never gonna get 'em out in time. I have another birthday surprise for you. You mean in addition to shaving off my corns? I'm a lucky girl. Ooh, perfume. Memory spray. I'm not familiar with that brand. - And you still won't be when you wake up. - What? Don't explode, don't explode. Don't explode, don't explode. Don't explode, don't explode, don't explode. Okay. Note to self: if I'm ever in this situation again, get her outside and then knock her out. I don't know if you guys are still alive, but we never should've put you in this situation. We love you guys so much. You're the best thing that ever happened to us. Man, they are really committed to this whole "you might run outta oxygen" thing. Oh, let me try, let me try. We love you, too. And we'd tell you how much, but I don't wanna run out of air. Okay, so they want us to figure out how to get outta here together. Um, we tried drilling. We tried keypad, we tried lasers. Maybe we're overthinking this. Maybe it's just something real simple. Yes. Occam's razor. I said something simple, not something I never heard of. No, no. Occam's razor it's a principle that states that the simplest way is usually the best. What would be the simplest way to get outta here? I got it. Open sesame. Maybe a tad bit more complicated. Wait a minute. This one moves. Could it be that simple? (Door buzzing) I guess not. Let me check my side. - (Buzzing) - Nothing. Oh, maybe we should to them both at the same time. All right, ready? One, two, three. (Craig) It's a miracle! (Kira) We were so worried about you guys. - Would you two please cut it out? - I know, seriously. We know that you were just doing this to make us get along. What are you talking about? Well, the vault. It's like a big get-along T-shirt. That would make us the smartest parents ever. Instead of the version where we almost wound up childless. Let's just go with their version. - Busted! - You figured us out! You got us. Time to charge up the little one. Psst! KC. What's going on? (Snoring) What did you do to Mrs. Goldfeder? She ate one of the bonbons, so I sprayed her with memory spray and dragged her outside. I am doing the best to contain the explosion. (Laughing) You think this is funny? Yeah. Yeah, and I hope you will, too. Look, they're not actually bombs. I just told you that so you wouldn't eat 'em. I'm sorry. You can have the rest of my candy. I rubbed that woman's feet. Trust me, I have lost my appetite. Rob, your name's on TV.