The Sands of Fate

(Setting: the desert, at dusk. Aladdin and his friends are watching the sun set behind a rock formation.)

Iago: Need I remind you it is going to be freezing when that sun goes down, and we have miles to go!

Aladdin: I just love this time of the day in the desert. It's so peaceful.

(Annoying music starts playing, and they turn around to see Genie dressed as an organ grinder, with Abu as his monkey.)

Genie: Al! You said this was a scenic spot, but tourism is nil!

Iago: I'll pay you to stop!

(Genie turns into a painter and paints the sunset, complete with a smiling sun.)

Genie: Take a picture, it'll last longer.

Aladdin: (laughs) Close, Genie, but—

(There is the sound of an elephant trumpeting.)

Aladdin: Hey, what's that?

(A caravan exits a canyon going through the rock formation. There are three men on horseback, followed by an elephant carrying a chest on its back.)

Genie: Tourists! (turns back into an organ grinder) Not many, though. Must be a no-frills excursion.

Aladdin: I think they're out there alone.

(The caravan starts to cross the desert in front of them. Suddenly there is the sound of yelling coming from behind a dune to the east.)

Iago: Not anymore!

(A group of attackers ride over the dune towards the caravan. Their faces are covered, and they are all wielding spiked maces. The caravan's animals are spooked, but the men ignore the attackers closing in on them.)

Aladdin: Marauder attack! We've got to help!

Iago: These are adults! They'll work something out! Just once, can't we look the other way?

(They all fly closer to the caravan and the marauders.)

Rider 1: Marauders.

Rider 2: Only six.

Rider 1: (drawing his sword) The Riders of Ramond fear no man!

(The marauders attack, but none of them can defeat the riders, who throw them off their horses. The leader of the marauders attacks the first rider, and they seem evenly matched, until the rider forces the marauder back.)

Iago: I told you, they're big boys, they can take care of themselves.

Aladdin: All right, so they're tough. They're also outnumbered. Let's go, Carpet!

(Carpet and Aladdin fly towards the battle.)

(A marauder rides towards the elephant and knocks its chest to the ground with his mace. The chest opens, and there's a bright light coming from inside. The riders and marauders freeze, then they all vanish.)

Aladdin: That's impossible! They're gone! All of them! Genie, what happened?

Iago: I saw it too, monkey. Not that I'd admit to it on a job application.

Genie: Al, all I can tell you is… I have no idea.

(Setting: the same place, that night. Aladdin and the others have built a campfire and are sitting around it.)

Aladdin: It couldn't have been a mirage. We all saw the same thing.

Iago: You've all been in the sun too long! I didn't see a thing. (whispers to Abu) You know, these little reality detours can really follow a guy.

Genie: Total denial. Works for me.

(Genie suddenly notices Fasir standing behind him and screams.)

Genie: Fasir! Don't you ever knock?

Fasir: Tell me what it was you saw in the desert today.

Aladdin: Three horsemen were attacked by a gang of marauders. Then they all disappeared!

Genie: Allow me to be a little more specific. (turns into a rider and a marauder, who fight) And then, all of a sudden! (disappears in a puff of smoke and hums The Twilight Show theme) Ring any bells?

Fasir: You have witnessed one of the great mysteries of the desert.

Aladdin: Tell us, what do you know?

Fasir: Years ago, the Riders of Ramond were guarding a magical cargo. Deep in the desert they were attacked by marauders, and something went wrong.

Iago: No kidding.

Fasir: Neither the riders or their cargo ever arrived at their destination. All that is known is that the riders are doomed to repeat their mission over and over again. Their fate is sealed.

Aladdin: There must be a way to break the spell!

Iago: To quote the mystic man, sealed! As in, cannot be broken!

Aladdin: Fasir, tell me more about the— (turns around and sees Fasir has vanished)

Iago: Whatever happened to, "goodbye, nice seeing you again"?

Aladdin: We've got to help those riders. There has to be a way to break this weird cycle.

Iago: You can't mess with fate!

Aladdin: Well, Iago, I guess it was fate that we showed up to help.

Iago: You're missing the point entirely!

(Setting: the same place, the next evening.)

Aladdin: They'll be back. I know it.

Iago: How do you know it happens every day? What if it's a bi-monthly thing?

Aladdin: I'll make sure they see me this time.

Iago: Oh, they're probably just waiting for a guy like you to direct 'em!

Genie: Sunset, Al!

(The Riders of Ramond emerge from the canyon.)

Aladdin: The Riders of Ramond…

Iago: And there's their blind date for the evening.

(The marauders ride towards them.)

Aladdin: (running in front of the riders) You have to turn back! Those are fierce marauders!

Rider 1: We fear no attack, boy! (throws Aladdin out of the way)

Aladdin: You don't understand, you have to stop!

(The fight between the riders and marauders begins, and is exactly the same as the previous day.)

Genie: It's too late, Al!

Aladdin: (runs between the riders' and marauders' horses) Stop! You can't!

(A marauder swings his mace at Aladdin, who ducks. A rider then swings at him with his sword, and Aladdin ducks again and falls to the ground.)

Aladdin: Listen to me!

(Aladdin sees a marauder going for the chest again and runs towards him. He jumps on the back of the marauder's horse, but the marauder pushes him off, throwing Aladdin into the chest and knocking him to the ground. The chest also is knocked to the ground, there is a glow from inside it, and the marauders and riders all vanish again, as does Aladdin.)

Genie: Al! Al! Al! Al's in way over his head on this one!

Iago: I wouldn't worry. If we stick around long enough he'll be back.

Genie: Yeah! He disappeared with those riders, so he's bound to turn up with them for the next performance! Every day they come from that direction. Come on!

(Setting: in the canyon, the next day. Aladdin is walking around dizzily. The others are at the top of the canyon, looking down at him.)

Genie: There he is! Let's get down there and find out what's going on.

Iago: Oh, I can't wait for this story.

(Aladdin walks along the canyon. He hears the riders behind him and turns around to face them.)

Rider 1: Stop! Move and you die!

(Aladdin turns and sees a giant cobra behind him, ready to strike.)

Rider 1: Who wants this one?

Rider 2: I took the last one. It's your turn.

(The third rider laughs and walks towards the snake. He grabs it, ties it in a huge knot, then throws it away.)

Aladdin: Wow…

(The men laugh and ride away.)

Genie: (tapping Aladdin's shoulder) Whoa, those guys are the best snake charmers I've ever seen.

Iago: Oh, they're charmers, all right…

Aladdin: Do I know you?

Iago: Oh yeah, he's gone!

(Genie smashes cymbals in front of Aladdin's face.)

Aladdin: Genie! What happened?

Iago: Fate! You messed with it, and you took a ride on the cuckoo caravan!

Aladdin: The riders are starting their journey again. We've got to stop them! (jumps on Carpet and flies in front of the riders) Wait! You're going right into an ambush!

Rider 1: Nice rug.

Aladdin: There are marauders up ahead! Six of them!

Rider 1: Only six? We are the Riders of Ramond! And the Riders of Ramond fear no marauders!

Genie: They don't know they've done this all before. Better come up with something else.

Aladdin: I know a shortcut! Take the southern route; it's easier!

Rider 1: Easier?

Iago: Wrong approach, professor…

Aladdin: Uh, did I say "easier"? I meant, full of hazards! Only the toughest of the tough can take this route.

Rider 1: The Riders of Ramond fear no hazard. To the south!

(Later that day, the riders are out of the canyon and riding through the desert. Aladdin and his friends are following them.)

Aladdin: Yeah, there's nothing that can't be done if you put your mind to it.

Iago: A mind can be a dangerous thing to put.

Aladdin: The fact is, we're on the southern route and the marauders are on the northern route. What could happen?

(A sandstorm starts up.)

Aladdin: A sandstorm!

Rider 1: The Riders of Ramond fear no wind!

(The sandstorm gets worse, and then they are suddenly back to the place where the battle happens every day.)

Aladdin: It can't be!

Genie: You can't change what's meant to be! Sorry, Al. Looks like Iago's right.

Iago: Although I wouldn't mind being wrong right about now!

(The marauders are approaching them.)

Marauder: Surround them!

Aladdin: It'll all happen again if we don't do something!

Genie: Better keep your distance! You've seen this battle before and it gets ugly!

(Aladdin runs towards the battle.)

Iago: I'll just hang back and monitor the body count.

(Aladdin tries to intervene in the fight, with no success. He then sees a fallen mace and picks it up.)

Aladdin: Not bad!

Marauder: Fight with the riders? So shall you fall with them!

(The marauder attacks Aladdin and knocks him down. The second rider picks him up.)

Rider 2: Begone, boy. The Riders of Ramond have a victory to claim.

(The rider tosses Aladdin backwards, and he lands on top of the chest.)

Iago: Oh, yeah, he's making a difference.

(A marauder tries to knock the chest down off the elephant's back, but Aladdin fights him off.)

Aladdin: Yeah!

(Another marauder rides toward the chest, and Aladdin falls off the elephant, pulling the chest down with him. The chest opens and a crystal is thrown out of it. It hits the ground and shatters, creating a bright glowing light. The marauders, riders, and Aladdin all disappear.)

Genie: Al! Al! Did you see it? The magic glowing crystal thingie? (looks around) They got 'im again. It's okay, we know where he is!

(Setting: the canyon, the next day.)

Genie: Here they come! Right on… wait a minute.

(Aladdin is dressed like one of the Riders of Ramond and is riding with them.)

Iago: Looks like they stopped at a tailor's shop on the way to infinity.

(The giant cobra from the previous day is in front of them, poised to strike.)

Aladdin: I'll take this one.

(Aladdin ties the snake in a knot and tosses it away.)

Rider 1: Good work, lad.

Aladdin: It was nothing for a Rider of Ramond.

Rider 1: Our mission awaits!

(Genie flies down to them on Carpet.)

Genie: Al! I think I figured it out!

Aladdin: A blue genie? Nice rug.

Genie: Mission control to Aladdin! You are cleared for your return to reality!

Aladdin: Begone! You block our path! (throws Genie into the canyon wall)

Iago: New attire, new attitude, new Aladdin. I warned him about getting involved. Now what do we do?

Genie: Get involved!

(Setting: at dusk, in the desert. The battle is happening again, only this time Aladdin is fighting as one of the riders.)

Genie: We've gotta stop 'em from hitting that chest!

(Abu jumps on Carpet, and they fly into the battle. Carpet wraps himself around a marauder's face, while Abu bites his arm. The marauder throws Abu off of him, and he hits the chest.)

Genie: No, Abu! Not the chest! Stay away from the chest!

(Abu and the chest fall to the ground. The chest opens, the crystal falls out and breaks, and the marauders and riders disappear. This time, Abu and Carpet are gone as well.)

Iago: And then there were two. Any other bright ideas?!

Genie: Okay, let's not panic here. So Abu and Carpet got a little too close. At least we know they're with Al.

Iago: Well, what a relief knowing they're one big happy family… stuck in time!

(A black cloud appears over Genie's head with lightning bolts shooting out of it.)

Genie: I just had a brainstorm!

Iago: Do tell.

Genie: Since we can't stop the riders, we'll stop the marauders!

(Setting: another canyon, the next day. Iago is looking down at the marauders, who are heading towards the site of the battle.)

Iago: Looks like they're dressed up and ready to go. You better—

(Genie, who has been jumping on a pogo stick, lands on Iago.)

Genie: Oops! Sorry!

Iago: You're supposed to be dealing with those marauders. Go bounce on their spines!

Genie: I'm on top of the marauder situation. Observe.

(Genie starts bouncing harder, starting a rockslide.)

Iago: Hey!

(The rockslide has blocked the canyon.)

Genie: We did it! They can't get out of the canyon! And if they can't get out of the canyon, they can't attack the riders! Let's go tell Al!

Iago: Well, I didn't think it could be done, but…

(The leader of the marauders rises over the fallen rocks on Carpet. Abu is on his shoulder, dressed as a marauder. He swings at Genie and Iago with his sword, and they fly away.)

Genie: Okay, you were right about fate. Fate is one tough customer!

Marauder: See, little one? They all fear the sword of Zarasto the Marauder!

(Zarasto and Abu laugh.)

(Setting: that evening, at the exit of the riders' canyon.)

Genie: What do the words "fool-proof plan" mean to you?

Iago: Just tell me what happens if it fails.

Genie: Al, Abu, and Carpet are doomed to live a perpetual rerun, locked in eternal conflict on opposing teams.

Iago: Just checking.

(The riders exit the canyon. Genie appears in front of them in a giant, muscular form and throwing lighting bolts.)

Genie: Stop! I am the genie of the desert! I command you to go back to… uh…

Iago: Just tell them to go home!

Genie: Uh, go home! Or face my semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic wrath!

Rider 1: The Riders of Ramond fear no genie! Who wants him?

Aladdin: He's mine. Got a lamp?

(The third rider hands him a bottle.)

Aladdin: Yes, this'll do.

Rider 1: Narim kept his last genie in there for two years. I hope he cleaned it out!

Aladdin: Any genie can hurl lightning bolts from the sky! Come face me, man to man!

Iago: It's a trick!

Genie: Never refuse an invitation, you'll never be lonely. (turns into a sumo wrestler)

Aladdin: We are on an important mission, there is no time for a nasty battle. What say we flip for it? I win, we continue on. You win, we retreat. Fair?

Iago: No, no! It's not fair! You're not up against him, you're up against fate!

Genie: I've had about enough of your negative attitude! No guts, no glory. Heads.

(Aladdin flips a coin, and it lands inside the bottle.)

Aladdin: Oh, I'm sorry!

Genie: Oh, let me get it!

(Genie flies into the bottle, and Aladdin puts the cork in it, trapping him inside.)

Aladdin: Foolish genie!

Genie: I should have seen that coming.

Iago: No, you should see what's coming now!

(The marauders have arrived. Aladdin ties the bottle to his saddle and climbs back on his horse.)

Genie: You're our last chance, Iago! Keep that chest from opening or we're all goners!

(The battle begins again.)

Iago: (walking away) I told you, you can't beat fate! Just don't look back. Whatever you do, don't look back. (looks back, then covers his eyes) If you don't see them, your conscience won't bother you. (looks back again and sees Abu and Carpet fighting Aladdin) At least I'll always know my schedule.

(Iago flies into the battle and gets between the first rider and Zarasto.)

Iago: All right, break it up! (they both swing at him) What was I thinking? Don't let me interrupt! Yah! (lands on Aladdin's shoulder) Hey, kid, glad I caught you, these guys are wound way too tight! (Aladdin gives him a funny look) I forgot! It's contagious!

(Abu, riding Carpet and wielding a sword, dives at Aladdin again. Aladdin and Iago duck.)

Iago: Enough with the pointy weapons! You could put someone's eye out!

Aladdin: (knocking Iago away) Silence, winged vermin! You will distract me from battle!

Iago: It would be easier to save them if they weren't trying to slice and dice each other!

Genie: Iago, get to that chest! Keep it from opening!

Iago: Yeah, right. I'll just stand in front of it and ask them politely to surrender. Well, here goes.

(Iago flies up to the chest and lands in front of it, just as a marauder is climbing up to get it.)

Iago: Excuse me! The chest is off limits!

(The marauder smashes the lock on the chest, but Aladdin tackles him before he can knock it down.)

Iago: Yikes!

(Abu swoops down and stabs at the chest with his sword. The sword gets stuck in its lid, and Iago and Abu both try to pull it out.)

Iago: Give it up, monkey!

(Iago pulls the sword out and lands on the ground. Abu is knocked backwards. The chest opens but doesn't fall, it just is balanced sideways on top of the elephant.)

Iago: The chest! Hey, nothing happened.

(Iago sees the crystal start to fall out of the chest.)

Iago: The crystal!

(Iago catches the crystal before it hits the ground.)

Iago: I did it! I caught the magic… eh, whatever it is!

(The crystal glows, and Aladdin and the others return to normal. The marauders flee from the riders.)

Aladdin: Yes!

Rider 1: (taking the crystal from Iago) This was a fortunate day, boy.

Aladdin: Yeah, you guys sure—

Rider 2: Saved you and your pitiful band.

Iago: WHAT?!

Rider 1: It was nothing! We are the Riders of Ramond!

Aladdin: Uh, sure. And, uh, thank you.

(The Riders of Ramond ride away.)

Iago: Yeah, thanks for nothing, you—

(Genie covers Iago's mouth, and they all wave goodbye to the riders.)

(Setting: that night, elsewhere in the desert. Someone wearing a cape and hood is standing by a campfire. The Riders of Ramond approach him.)

Rider 1: As promised, we have completed our mission.

(The other two riders take the chest down and place it on the ground.)

Fasir: My thanks, brave riders. At last, the magic is safe. (takes the crystal out of the chest and holds it up) What is meant to be comes about because of what one does. And a young man and his friends are meant to be heroes.

THE END