All Stood Up

Gia: Steph, I’ve got to talk to you.

Stephanie: Oh, and I have to talk to you. Ryan apologized.

Gia: I know. The whole school knows. Your dad chased him down the hall, clobbered him with a canned ham and then shoved him in a locker.

Danny: It was not a canned ham, it was.

Stephanie: You clobbered him with Spam?

Danny: I didn’t clobber him with anything.

Stephanie: You talked to him? Oh no. What did you say?

Danny: Nothing. [Stephanie gives him a look] Okay, I told him that what he did was wrong, and that he was missing out on knowing a really great person, and that he really hurt you.

Stephanie: You didn’t tell him I cried?

Danny: No! Never! Of course not! No way! [sees Stephanie’s look again] Yeah, yeah, I did.

Stephanie: [growls a little in frustration] I want to transfer.

Danny: Steph, I’m not going to let you change schools.

Stephanie: I want to change dads.

Danny: Look, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. It just hurt me to see how much he hurt you. I’m sorry. I hope someday you’ll understand.

Gia: Wait. Who says you even have to go?

Stephanie: [smiles] Hey, you’re right. I mean, he doesn’t want to be there. I don’t want to be there. I’ll do us both a favor and stand him up.

[Jesse and Joey set up an amplifier and a ton of speakers in an attempt to stop Kimmy's bagpipe playing.]

Joey: You know, Jess, this can't possibly be good for your blood pressure. You should think about having a. I find that sucking out the creme filling is doggone relaxing. [He takes a bite out of his Ho Ho – and sucks out the creme filling.]

Jesse: [albeit angrily] Joseph, and I mean this in the nicest way: Shut your 'Ho Ho Ho!'

Joey: [in a military style] 'Ho Ho Ho!' secured, [salutes] sir! [He tosses what's left of his Ho Ho aside.]