The Apology Insufficiency


 * Sheldon: No, the cushion is merely symbolic. I'm giving you my spot on the couch.
 * Howard: [aghast] But... You love that spot!
 * Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe... And now it's yours.


 * Sheldon: If only there was a way to force Howard to accept my apology to escape this miasma of guilt!
 * Penny: You know, sometimes stuff just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade because no matter how much you apologize, you can't go back and un-dry-hump someone's boyfriend.


 * Howard: I got to tell you, Sheldon, I understand why you chose this spot. I mean, the temperature is good, but there’s no draft. I can see the television, but I can still talk to…
 * Sheldon: I changed my mind. Get out of my spot.
 * Penny: How long?
 * Leonard: 94 seconds.


 * Penny: I’m sorry, honey, I don’t know milliliters.
 * Sheldon: Ah. Blame President James “Jimmy” Carter. He started America on a path to the metric system, but then just gave up. He wonders why he was a one-term president.