Dance Class

Dance Class is the seventh episode of the British sitcom Peep Show. It originally aired on November 12, 2004. Lines in parentheses represent internal monologues spoken by the characters via voice-over.

[Opening credits]

''[Inside Mark and Jez’s flat, Jez is at the front door, looking out through the peephole at Toni, who is in the hallway searching her purse for her keys.]''

Jez: Mmm.

Mark: Jeremy, what are you doing?

Jez: It's Toni. She's rummaging. I'm watching her rummage. God, do you know what? I think I love her.

Mark: You love her? What do you love about her?

Jez: Mmm, everything. Her vibe. Oh, God, why does the world have to be so wrong?

Mark: Come on, Jez! You don't love her. You're just jealous ‘cause her husband's back.

Jez: There's only so much happiness in the world, Mark, and they're hoarding it all.

Mark: That's not how happiness works. (It completely is.)

Jez: Yeah, what would you know about love or happiness?

''[At JLB Credit, in Mark’s office. He is typing in passwords, trying unsuccessfully to hack into Sophie’s email.]''

Mark:  (What do I know about love and happiness? I know you have to play dirty, my friend. Just can't seem to crack it. Got to go! Can't believe Personnel issued happy hats.) ''[Mark picks up a shiny party hat]'' Johnson's our new boss. Course we're going to be happy.) [Mark picks up an invite to a 3rd floor welcome party for Alan Johnson.]

''[At the welcome party, Alan is giving a speech to a crowd of office workers around him.]''

Johnson: I'd like to thank everyone for such a warm welcome to JLB…

Mark: (Maybe I should stop trying to break into her e-mail. Just have a nice big talk to Sophie. A proper chat. Really get down to it.)

Johnson: ...what this department needs a kick up the arse so hard my foot'll go right up your digestive tract and wiggle out your mouth like a little leather tongue.

Mark: (Yeah, fuck carrot and stick, he's making the stick out of carrot. Jesus, he's good. Careful, there's man love and there's business love and never the twain shall meet. OK, Sophie, here goes. No running away, just stay here and let it all flood out.)

Sophie: Hey, Mark! How's it hanging?

Mark: OK, thanks. Sophie, I was wondering-- I was hoping that we could have a chat. A proper chat.

Sophie: Oh. Yeah?

Mark: Yeah. So… tell me, what was the name of your first childhood pet?

Sophie: Gerbil, the gerbil.

''[“Dancing In The Moonlight” starts playing in the background.]''

Sophie: I love this song! Why?

Mark: Oh, Jeremy and I were having a bet. Only wine gums, but it makes the evenings go a bit quicker.

Sophie: Uh huh. So, did you want to dance?

Mark: I can't, really, it's not—

Jeff: Hi, Soph. You dancing?

Sophie: Oh, you betcha!

Mark: (Yeah, you won't be so cocky, Jeff, when I come into the office with a Kalashnikov and 200 rounds of ammunition.) ''[Mark leaves the party and walks back to his office.] '' I'm probably exactly the sort of person who could end up doing something like that.)

''[Mark is back at the computer, again attempting to hack into Sophie’s email.]''

Mark: (Come on, gerbil! Ah, cock-knobs! All right, what's her favorite TV show? Sex and the City. S-A-T-C. Bollocks. Maybe she thinks it's Sex In the City. Yes! I'm in! Bollocks to emoting, I've got my hands on her innards! Hallo, ‘Mark vs Jeff’, this I have to see. Blah, blah, ‘Jeff's a laugh, but he can be a bit of an arsehole, but I do fancy him. Mark's clever and funny, but he's so serious. I wish we could just be mates for a while but he's so uptight.’ OK.)

''[Mark returns to the party wearing his shiny party hat at a jaunty angle.]''

Mark: Hey, Soph!

Sophie: Hey, Mark! So, you wanted to have a big chat and everything? [she pulls an unpleasant face]

Mark: Yeah, we could do, but then why be so serious and uptight all the time? We’re mates, we should relax, do matey things, yeah?

Sophie: Absolutely!

Mark: Like a movie. A movie on a wet Saturday. That's what mates do, right?

Sophie: Sure. Or what about a dance class? If you think you can face it you can come to my dance class!

Mark: Dancing? Yes, dancing, I love dancing. (Because it makes me look like a coma victim being stood up and zapped with a cattle prod.)

''[In Toni’s apartment, Jez sits alone in one chair while Toni and her husband Tony sit together on a couch across the room. Jez looks forlornly across at Toni while “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks plays in the background.]''

Toni: How about biscotti? Jeremy, would you like some biscotti?

Jez: Uh, sure.

''[Toni turns and looks pointedly at Tony.]''

Tony: I'll get them.

[Tony exits to the kitchen.]

Toni: So, have you heard? Brand New Heavies are releasing a new album.

''[Jez lunges across the room to join Toni on the couch.]''

Jez: Toni, I love you. I can't hold it in, I absolutely fucking love you.

Toni: Jeremy, what are you-- really?

[Tony re-enters with a biscotti tin and offers it to Jez.]

Toni: I was just telling Jeremy about the Brand New Heavies new album.

Tony: Yeah. That's something to look forward to, isn't it?

Jez: I'd like a ginger nut, if there are any.

Tony: Yeah, I think there are some.

''[Tony exits to the kitchen again.]''

Jez: I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

Toni: Jeremy…

Jez: God, you're so-- I mean –

''[Tony re-enters the room and sees them close together on the couch.]''

Tony: What's going on?

Toni: Tony, Jeremy loves me.

Jez: Um, no, I didn't actually—

Tony: Of course you do. You're a moth, sucked in by the light. I've been banging my head for 15 years against that beautiful light bulb, and I wouldn't change a day.

''[Tony pulls Toni up off the couch for a passionate kiss. Toni dances alone to “Bitch” while Tony and Jez sit watching together.]''

Tony: She’s the beautiful poison, my friend.

Jez: (God, this is such a mess. It's fantastic.)

''[At a community church, Mark and Jeremy are walking down a hall toward Sophie’s dance class.]''

Mark: This is the best thing for you, mate. Take your mind off it.

Jez: Maybe I should send her a bit of ear. Or a finger. Just to show I'm really serious.

Sophie: ''[enters the hall wearing comfortable gym clothes] ''Hi, guys! ''[notices Mark’s rather formal clothes and shoes] ''There's a changing room round there if you want to—

Mark: Um, I thought these would be-- this is salsa, isn't it?

Sophie: No. Oh, no, salsa's on Tuesdays. No this is Rainbow Rhythms, it's quite full-on. Mark, are you all right with that?

Mark: Me? ''[walks to doorway to look in at the class, sees several people loosely freestyle dancing independently, meditating, and stretching to slow, new-age type music] ''Totally. This looks…cool. (I've walked into my own personal nightmare. Must remain non-uptight for Sophie. Even if they make me play trust exercises with their genitals.)

''[The class is now at a mid-point, energetic music plays in the background, people are freestyle dancing as the instructor walks around the room.]''

Dance teacher: OK, so now we move into red, the color of primal urges.

''[Mark is standing alone stiffly, trying to sway and bounce to the music while glancing around nervously.]''

Jez: (Jesus. Mark's such a honky. I'm definitely the alpha-est male here. [starts looking around the room at all the other men] He's probably here for community service. He looks like he's actually getting a bonk on. I'm definitely king of the hippy jungle.)

Dance teacher: Now, take a partner. And with that partner, let the music take you into your primal self.

''[A beautiful young dancing blonde suddenly appears in front of Jez.]''

Jez: (Jesus Christ! She must be a tranny.) ''[glances down at her body] ''(She's no tranny!)

Mark: [still awkwardly dancing alone] (I'm not really here, it's research. I'm Louis Theroux. I'm Louis Theroux.) ''[notices that Sophie is dancing with another man] ''Hey! No fair, that's my fun! ''[starts trying to make his way across the dance floor to get to Sophie.] (Got to get in there.) [Another man appears in his path, attempting to dance with him]. ''Look, can you please just get out of my way? ''[the disgruntled man steps aside] ''Thank you. ''[reaches Sophie and her dance partner] ''Hey, Soph! I came with her. It's really hot! Do you fancy ducking out for a while?

Sophie: We're right in the middle.

Mark: ''[sees Jez running around the room with the blond woman draped over his shoulders] (''Is this it? Is this what my granddad died for? The freedom to do this? Jesus!)

''[Class is over, the participants all sit on the floor, holding hands in a circle around a candle.]''

Dance teacher: So, how did we all experience the class?

'''Mark’s brief dance partner: '''Well, um I felt a lot of stuff to do with rejection coming up for me tonight. Um, I was dancing with someone and they made it very clear that they didn't want to be with me. Uh and it just brought up a lot of feelings. That's all. Thanks.

'''Sophie’s male dance partner: '''Yeah, there was a lot of new energy in the room tonight, and some of it was just so Rainbow Rhythms ''[looks toward Jez]'', and some of it was just so not Rainbow Rhythms. [looks toward Mark.] Thanks.

Mark: Why don't you just say who you're talking about? You're talking about me, aren't you?

'''Sophie’s male dance partner: '''Well, yes, all right, I am.

Mark: Well, listen. I'm sorry if I didn't do it right, and I'm sorry if you assume that I eat red meat and don't necessarily think money or Tony Blair are a bad thing, but if there isn't room here for people who stand against everything you believe in, then what sort of a hippy free-for-all is this?

''[In Jez’s room, seeing his perspective as he stares up at the ceiling and exotic music plays in the background.]''

Jez: (I can't believe yesterday morning I was trying to jerk off to Toni's answerphone message 'and this morning) ''[Nancy, wearing only a bra, appears on top of Jez, in the throes of pleasure]''

Nancy: Oh, Jesus!

Jez: Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus!

Nancy: Oh, Jesus, thank you for this experience!

Jez: Yeah, thanks, Jesus.

Nancy: OK, now stop.

Jez: What?

Nancy: Don't move a muscle. Now we hold this moment for as long as we can in total silence. [she brings her fingers to her lips, then to Jez’s lips as he struggles to control himself]

''[There is a rapid knocking at Jez’s door.]''

Mark: Jeremy!

Jez: [strained voice] Go…away!

Mark: No, Jez. Look, we've discussed this. Early in morning counts as late at night and we agreed no reggae music late at night, so—

''[Jez whips open the door, wearing a silk dressing gown and sporting a very obvious erection.]''

Jez: What?!

Mark: Oh, for God's sake, Jeremy. I can't talk to you with that.

Jez: What? Oh for God's sake, Mark, we've both got one, haven't we?

Mark: Look, Jez, can you please just keep it quiet? Because some of us have jobs to go to.

Jez: Mark, your job is going to the office. My job is having sex. Yeah? That's what I do now. That's what I am. I'm a sexer. OK?

''[Nancy appears at the doorway with Jez.]''

Nancy: Sorry, Mark, did we wake you? We were both coming so hard we didn't notice the volume.

Mark: An explanation. Finally. Thank you, Nancy. Thanks for the explanation.

''[At JLB Credit, Mark is snooping in Sophie’s email.]''

Mark: (OK, so, dance class. Ali-kazoo, ali-kazam, let's find out just how fucked I am. OK, here we go. ‘And last night Mark was a bit weird.’ Fair comment. ‘He didn't really get it.’ What's to get? ‘But, shit! He came, so that was pretty amazing.’ OK! ‘Had dinner with Jeff later.’ Ooh, naughty. ‘Gave him a kiss, but not sure. He can be so pushy.’ He kissed her?! I've got to make a move!) [squeezes stress ball vigorously] (Maybe I should try tapping her phone.)

''[Mark is entering his apartment.]''

Mark: (Hope they're not doing it in the hall. There's nothing erotic about a hall, is there?) Hello?! I'm coming in now! This is me coming into my house!

Jez: Hey Mark.

Mark: All right, Jez. Is Nancy around?

Jez: Just gone. I'm seeing her down the Rhythms.

Mark: Right, OK. ''[notices the kitchen is in disarray, furniture moved and food spread all over the counter] ''Jez, why's the chair-- and what's all this strawberry? And my yogurt? Jez, what's happened to my Muller? Oh, no, you haven't, have you? You haven't been sexing it up in here with my yogurt?

Jez: Relax, Mark, it's all right. We were just feeling very horny.

Mark: I don't want to know! OK? I don't want to hear about it! And I don't want it using up all my yogurt and bloody shower gel?!

Jez: Mark, I'm just in a very erotic relationship right now. I mean, we're systematically breaking down all the taboos that society has.

Mark: ''[marching into the bathroom to wash his hands] ''Right. And love? Romance? I mean, is there any romance in any of this at all?

Jez: Who needs romance when you're doing it up the bum?

Mark: Exactly. Exactly my point. I mean, if you've actually done that, which, by the way, I can see no point whatsoever in myself –

Jez: [smirking] You'd love to try it.

Mark: I honestly would not! What is this modern obsession with, that? Look, Jez, what I'm trying to say is, so, for better, for worse, the '60s happened, and now sex is, fine. But can't we take the best of that, the nice music, the colors, the "I have a dream", et cetera, but not have to face the, squalor? [he turns to grab his electric toothbrush and toothpaste from the sink]

Jez: Uh, you might want to give that a bit of a rinse, actually, mate.

''[In Jez’s bedroom, Nancy is painting Jez’s face and body with dark brown paint.]''

Jez: Do I really have to do this?

Nancy: What are you afraid of, Jeremy? ''[dabs a bit more paint on his ear] ''All done.

Jez: I dunno, it just feels almost… wrong.

Nancy: We're breaking a taboo, of course it feels wrong. We've got boundaries to smash, Jeremy. It's our duty to God, Shiva, NASDAQ, whatever you want to call him.

Jez: But are you sure this isn't …racist?

Nancy: Jeremy, I come from America. I've seen the problems race brings up. [turns and presents herself doggy-style] Now fuck me and pretend I'm your mom!

Jez: What?! Why?!

Nancy: You can't imagine your mom having sex with a black man? That's pretty racist, Jeremy.

Jez: It's not that, it's just Mum? Really? Mummy? I-I'm sorry, Nancy, I can't do it. I'm not getting anything. I'm sorry. I just can't.

''[Jez sidles out of the room into the hallway, in full view of Mark who is seated in the kitchen reading a newspaper. The two lock eyes, and Jez’s only response to Mark’s look of horrified disbelief is a silent stutter before he walks away.]''

''[Back at the church, and Rainbow Rhythms class. Mark again dances alone while looking around the room. He spots Jez and Nancy dancing intimately.]''

Mark: (I wonder which of my treasured possessions they'll be putting in each other's anuses tonight.)

Jez: [looking at Nancy dancing with him] (God, she's amazing. Got to keep her interested. Prove I can keep breaking taboos. But what? Take a crap on the floor? No.)

''[suddenly Toni appears in between Jez and Nancy]''

Toni:  Hi, honey, I managed to make it!

Jez: Oh. Brilliant.

Toni: Tony and I have talked it all through, the whole horrible situation.

Jez: What situation?

Toni: You being in love with me!

Jez: Oh, right. Yeah.

Dance teacher: Now, as we flow into yellow, remember, stop thinking. Let your body dance you.

Mark: (Next she'll be telling us to use the Force. lf you ask me, Skywalker was bloody lucky to get away with turning off his guidance system. No, if I want to act relaxed, it’s gonna take all my cunning, skill and concentration.)

Jez: ''[looks over to see another man dancing with Nancy] ''(Shit! Who's Mr. New Pants? Fuck, he's crossing a boundary. Bollocks, why did we come somewhere with no boundaries? This would never happen at the pub.)

Dance teacher: [music transitions to faster pace] Now, as we move into red, let it all go my super-luminaries. Open the box.

Mark: (Yeah, sure, honey. Appear to be opening the box while in fact, the lid stays very firmly on.) ''[Mark begins flailing wildly, sees Sophie smiling nervously at him] (''She's buying it! God, it's so easy being a freak, no wonder they're ten a penny. I should get extra marks for not feeling a fucking thing.)

''[Inside the Oval Tavern after dance class, Jez, Mark, Nancy, Sophie, Toni, Tony, and Gwyn from class are seated around a table together]''

Sophie: Mark, how are you feeling? You looked like you were really getting in touch with something in there.

Mark: (Oh, for God's sake!) Yeah, well, it wasn't really me as such, it was almost as if something was flowing out of me.

Nancy: Mmm, that literally happened to me the first time I went. I opened up so much I puked!

Jez: Oh blimey.

Gwyn: I think that's fantastic.

Jez: No, brilliant. I mean, that's brilliant, honey. You're such a bloody trooper.

Nancy: Well that's when I decided to live in the open 24/7. No more crap: crap sex, crap relationships.

Jez: Absolutely, sweetheart.

Nancy: I mean, we have a great time together and obviously we both know it's an open relationship.

Jez: Exactly. We're open in our relationship.

Nancy: And we're open with other people.

Jez: We…are?

Nancy: That's what we're all about, right, Jez? Freedom?

Jez: Sure, Nance, sure, yeah. Freedom, loyalty, commitment, monogamy. In a sense, that's the final taboo, isn't it?

Toni: That's funny, you weren't worried about monogamy the other day when you came ‘round and told me you were in love with me.

Jez: Right, yeah. I mean, that was a bit of a -- not mistake, or joke, but just… wrong. I mean, you can't love two people at once.

Toni: Yes, you can.

Nancy: Of course you can.

Jez: No, sure, obviously you can, but you don't. You work out who you like best and then you pretend not to like anyone else.

Mark: What do you think, Soph? Can you love more than one person at a time?

Sophie: Well, um, I mean, it depends what type of love you're talking about…

Mark: (Yeah, but what does she really think? Probably shouldn't look again today. More than once every four hours would be obsessive.)

Sophie: …very confusing.

Mark: Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Tell you what, I'm off to the bog. For a wee! ''[Mark leaves the table and enters a bathroom stall with a bag, then logs into his handheld to check Sophie’s email again.]'' (Conversation is rubbish. You could literally waste years talking to someone and never get the bottom line. OK, still nothing interesting in the outbox. She needs to express her feelings more. Ha! Just, check the inbox. A-ha! Jeff. Just arrived. What's your game? “Soph, just a thought, d'you fancy going punting on Saturday? Thought it might be a laugh. Bell me. Love, Jeffy.” Jeffy, ugh. Punting? Punting equals shunting. Got to get in first, ask her out on a day trip. What's a banker?)

''[In Nancy’s VW van parked on the side of a road surrounded by wilderness, Jez and Nancy in front, Mark and Sophie in back.]''

Mark: And we'd be exploring the miracles of flight and human endeavour. It's a spiritual thing, really.

Jez: Mark, we are not going to RAF Duxford.

Sophie: And I'm sorry, but we did vote, so the Toddsford stone circle it is.

Mark: Yes. Yes, I know. Well, it'll be good to go to a field and look at some stones.

Jez: Ah shit. We've gone into the crease. I can't make out anything in the crease.

Nancy: Jez, we've been lost for four hours now. Fuck it, I'm going to Tollesbury.

Jez: Tollesbury?

Nancy Yeah. We can surprise Gwyn from dance class! He's got a boathouse there.

Jez: Oh right, Gwyn. Brilliant. (Shit. Got to stop this. Grab the wheel, cause an accident. There's definitely a taboo against that. Plus, if she got disfigured, she'd be more likely to stick with me. But what if I came off worse, lost a limb? I'm punching above my weight as it is.) Or, listen, if we take a right up ahead, we could make it to this really wicked-looking public weighbridge!

[Peaceful scene of a cottage on a lake with a dock, Gwyn walks up with his hands full of beers.]

Gwyn: This is great, so great to see you guys down here.

Nancy: This place is just fantastic, Gwyn. Isn't it fantastic?

Sophie: Amazing.

Mark: Brilliant.

Jez: Yeah. We should probably think about heading off.

Gwyn: Nonsense. You're here, enjoy. Hey, I tell you what. Let's all take a swim.

Jez: Yeah, nice idea but no stuff, so we'd better be off.

Gwyn: On a day like this, what stuff do you need? ‘Sorry, I can't possibly enjoy the fresh water against my skin, I haven't got my stuff.’

Jez: All right, I don't need stuff, either. Yeah forget stuff, let's have it.

Mark: Is there no stuff I can borrow? I really do feel much more comfortable with stuff.

''[A splash is heard as Gwyn jumps into the lake to join the others. Mark is still on the dock, with pants on.]''

Sophie: Oh, this is amazing! I love this!

Jez: Come on, Mark!

Gwyn: Get the pants off dude and come on in!

Mark: Heh heh, I might keep them on, actually.

Jez: Oh come on Mark, don't be a party pooper, get 'em off!

Sophie & Nancy: Yeah! Yay, come on!

Mark: (No way. No fucking way.) I'm not sure I want to swim, actually. I might just watch.

Jez: Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!

Sophie & Nancy: Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!

Jez: Come on, we've all got 'em off, get 'em off! We're having fun! [Jez reaches up and begins tugging at Mark’s pants]

Mark: Jez Jez, seriously, don't!

Jez: I'm pulling your pants down, Mark!

Mark: Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off me! I'll do it. All right? I'll do it. In my own time, I'll do it. ''[Mark drops his pants and jumps in.]''

All: Yay!

''[Inside Gwyn’s cabin, it’s evening, and the group are all lounging on the floor.]''

Mark: (Ok, done the hard part. They've seen and rated my penis, now it's time to take advantage of the '60s vibe to get it on with Sophie.)

Nancy: This place is amazing, Gwyn. How can you afford it all?

Gwyn: I guess I've just been very lucky. Money's an energy and lots of it has always flowed towards me. Particularly after my parents died.

Jez: Cosmic.

Gwyn: Yeah well, that might sound funny to you, but it was actually quite a painful time.

Jez: No I just meant—(You're not gonna out-hippie me, you fucking hippie) -- this place has great energy.

Gwyn: Yeah. I remember when I first spent time down here. I was 14 years old, and I came down here all alone, just with a candle and an old, old copy of Henry Miller. And I just had the most amazing wank. I mean it really just bust me open. I couldn't believe that I had this instrument right there. Isn't it amazing, that first big wank?

Nancy: Oh, yeah.

Jez: Oh, yeah.

Mark: Yeh.

Gwyn: I tell you what we used to do down here when we were kids. Spin the bottle, that whole thing. Hey. Why not? Why don't we just fucking go for it?

Nancy: Yeah!

Gwyn: OK, so, whoever's on kisses whoever the bottle stops at. Cool?

Sophie: Yeah. Mark?

Mark: (Say no, ask her to go for a walk.) Sure, yeah.

Gwyn: OK, so, Jez, you're on, and it's… [spins bottle]

Jez: (Nancy, Nancy, Nancy)

''[bottle stops, pointing at Mark]''

Gwyn: Mark.

Jez: Ok, so, what happens? Spin again?

Gwyn: Sure. If you can't handle it, spin again.

Jez: Oh, I can handle it. I just wasn't sure about, Mark, where you stand on taboos.

Mark: (I'm not uptight. I'm not uptight.) I hate taboos.

Jez: Well, me too. I break them.

Mark: Me too, I love breaking them. (Oh, no! No! No!) ''[the two meet in the middle to share an intense kiss] (''I can't believe this is happening. He doesn't even floss. I tell him, but he won't. Jesus, when can we stop?)

Jez: (Don't stop first. If I don't mind looking gay, I'll seem the most hetero. At least it's Mark. Oh, Jesus, it's Mark!) ''[the two break apart suddenly]''

Sophie: Wow, Mark! Well done.

Mark: Thank you.

Gwyn: OK, so, Nancy's on. [Gwyn spins the bottle again]

Mark: (This is probably how the Manson family started.)

''[The bottle stops, pointing at Gwyn]''

Gwyn: Come here, you. ''[Gwyn and Nancy begin kissing passionately in the center of the circle]''

Jez: Uh hey, come on, folks, there are other people waiting to – [Nancy begins rubbing Jez’s leg] Hmm, ok.

Mark: (The squalor. It's happening. It's Woodstock, it's Altamont, it's My Lai. Although, Sophie's hand on my thigh, maybe there's a time and a place for squalor.)

[As Mark looks at Sophie, she reaches up with both hands to put her hair up.]

Mark: Sophie, your hand. Oh, look. Gwyn's feeling me up. (I'm Louis Theroux. I'm Louis Theroux and his wry smile at the orgy.)

Sophie: Mark, are you into this? Cos you don't look that into this.

Mark: No, no, this is great. I'm, I'm into this.

Sophie: Because I'm not sure I'm into this.

Mark: You're not? Brilliant.

''[Mark and Sophie are outside the cabin, walking along the dock and looking at the lake at dusk.]''

Mark: (Sure, an orgy sounds great, but you're basically just multiplying the number of people you’re not going to be able to look in the eye afterwards.)

Sophie: I suppose it would be interesting to try something like that one day, but you’ve got to think there are inevitably going to be complications.

Mark: If you're into something like that, you probably see the inevitable complications as part of the fun.

Sophie: Yeah.

Mark: Isn't this beautiful?

Sophie: It really is.

''[Mark takes the cardigan from his shoulders and wraps it around Sophie.]''

Mark: Here you go. (Yeah, you can keep your VD and your barricades and your talking and your drugs, I'm back to basics: moonlight, lake, cardigan. Perfect. I should do something romantic. Surely I'm not about to sing.)  ''[breaks into song] '' I may be right I may be wrong, but I'm perfectly willing to swear, that when you turned and smiled at me, a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.

''[Back inside the cabin, Jeremy looks out the window, watching Sophie and Mark out on the dock]''

Jez: (He looked like he was singing. He couldn't have been singing.)

''[Jez turns from the window to see Nancy on and Gwyn on the floor, under a blanket, clearly in the midst of having sex.]''

Jez: (This is good. This is like watching a porno. Except I can't see anything, I haven't got a hard-on and I want to cry.)

''[Back at JLB Credit, Mark is logging on to his computer using Sophie’s credentials in order to access her emails again.]''

Mark: (OK, this is the last time. I've really got to stop it, at least ration it. Three times a day.) ''[Mark scrolls through a recently sent message.] (Yak, yak, yak. ‘Mark was so sweet, feel like we could have something special if we see more of each other.’) [Mark jumps up from his chair with an enthusiastic gesture] ''Henmania!

''[Sophie suddenly appears at Mark’s cube]''

Sophie: Hey, Mark, what are you celebrating?

Mark: Oh, it's just -- weren't we meeting outside?

Sophie: Go on, what is it? Let me see!

Mark: Honestly, it's nothing. ''[Mark shoves Sophie’s face away in an unsuccessful attempt to block her from seeing the screen.]''

Sophie: How did you? Mark, is that my e-mail?!

Mark: No, it's not! It's just, uh – ''[frantically mashes the keyboard]'' (Escape! Escape! Escape!)

Sophie: Mark, I can't believe you'd actually— ''[Sophie turns on her heel and storms away.]''

Mark: Sophie, but please! Don't! We have something special! Not my words, yours! We can't throw that all away just because I spy on you! Can we?

''[Closing credits. End of “Dance Class”]''