Sex and the Daten City

Panty/Stocking: Sex and the Daten City.

Panty: I don't see no ghost.

Stocking: Who you gonna call, mother bitches?

Speaker 10: Coming this winter.

Panty: All I want is for him to tell me I'm the one. Is that too much to ask?

Stocking: I'm sorry, but he's just not that into you.

Panty: Girlfriend, fuck you.

Speaker 11: That's it, Panty. Work it baby, yeah. That's it be the tiger, be the tiger.

Panty: Meow.

Speaker 11: Great that's a wrap.

Speaker 12: You were un-f-ing-believable today, Panty.

Panty: Tell me something I don't know. When can we go shopping?

Speaker 12: That's going to have to wait til next week. Right now you have three commercials for hair products, a talk show with four bitter lesbians, and then you need to make an appearance at a party.

Speaker 13: Careful not to flash the naughty bits!

Panty: Fabulous. I'd also like to break a window and design a cheap trashy teen fashion line.

Speaker 12: That's the best idea I've ever heard in my entire life. I'm gonna pencil that shit in right now. Meeting with Bubbles next Tuesday, and it's Blossom's birthday week, send a Louis with a card signed love Panty.

Panty: You know what else? I wanna make a CD. I'm tired of all these rumors starting, and sick of being followed, and need to sing about it.

Speaker 12: Oh, I can't think of a better way to get the public to leave you alone. We'll get Timber-brand to produce. Take that, America!

Stocking: Innocent yet sexy are the words most commonly used to describe the luscious young sex symbol who has recently made a come back. No more dangling babies over balconies, or breaking windows. Panty has made a fresh new start... Shit-balls she is not that innocent. Ugh, come on. I just had a pudding-gasm. Best sticky goo in my mouth all day. She's here ten thousand years later, whore.

Stocking: How's it going over there, Panty?

Panty: Just dandy. Hey remember that time you made a really fucked up commercial?

Stocking: Place my doughnut, eat my doughnut, I've got a doughnut for you!

Panty: Fucking with a chainsaw, girl, that was hilarious.

Stocking: Suck a cow tit, skank!

Panty: Only if you're serving it with your glazed doughnut holes. Too bad you got fired.

Stocking: I wasn't fired; I just refused sell out unlike some whores I know. I prefer to keep it on the DL. I don't wanna fuck up our premiere unlike you.

Panty: Fine, sit there and flick it while my pampered white ass gets famous without you.

Stocking: That reminds me. Make sure to warn ushers at the movie to leave an extra seat for that pampered ass to spread out.

Panty: Thank you so much for coming here tonight.

Stocking: We've both been looking forward to this day.

Panty: Some might say we are just in it for the money, but that's only partly true. We do it for you guys!

Speaker 14: Can you believe it, ladies and gentlemen, Roman Polanski was released from prison just so he could direct this risque film. Sex and the Daten City is a real hit. And as a bonus, tonight also marks Miss Panty's on screen debut.

Panty: Did you just suggest that this was my first time for anything, shlong breath? Do you know who I am? I make movies all the time. This is number two, you dick. Bring it on Chuck-meister.

Stocking: What did you just pull out of your ass?

Panty: Oh please, like you don't know. Here why don't you throw this on? And next time do some mother fucking research. Debut my ass, fuck-wit.

Panty: Wait, I forgot to put on panties today.

Speaker 15: What a strange coincidence. I'm not wearing anything under these jeans either.

Panty: Oh then I guess we'll fuck fully. Fuck me proper.

Panty: Not a whole lot of actresses in this town can handle a role that huge, but the director knew I had what it takes.

Speaker 13: I can see all of her naughty bits.

Speaker 12: We're going to need some hush money.

Panty: Make me burst for it. Make. Me. Work. Oh yeah.

Panty: The director said I'm the best he ever had. There's hucking Oscars, cam festivals, even 24 hour video races which is great if your into that and I'm pretty sure I am. Hey how jealous of me are you right now? What the fuck! Put it back on! Seriously he's about to hog tie me, you don't want to miss it.

Speaker 12: What the hell were you thinking Panty? My God, were you even thinking at all. Betsy Johnson your debut film is porn. You made a sex tape.

Panty: What! Serious.

Speaker 12: There's genital warts.

Panty: So it was just direct to video? Well that explains why I haven't won an Oscar yet.

Speaker 12: That's not it! There's a bigger problem. You don't understand.

Panty: I'm not any good? Is that what your trying to tell me?

Speaker 12: Oh no, you're very good honey. That's not the point.

Panty: What the fuck is the point then? Shit!

Stocking: The point is you have three brain cells left and there all fighting for your attention. Why would you play your cracker-fied porno to a movie premiere? Now its all anyone can think about.

Speaker 12: I hate to be the one to pretend to be the one to break it to you, but leaking sex tapes is known as career suicide.

Panty: So it's over? No more group sex? No more naked men covered in sushi? No more spring break body shots? God I hate it here.

Stocking: I know, why don't you go shoplift. It'll take the edge off.

Panty: Hold the ballsack, I've got an idea. Fuck it, the whole thing never happened. That was easier than I thought it would be. I do love happy endings.

Stocking: You stupid constipation. That was one copy, someone already put that shit on the internet. Can you imagine ape in HD or better yet how's blu-ray sound to you? Damn it! How slow can you possibly be. God just did not design you for thinking did he? Either that or he put your brain in your clit.

Panty: I don't know what the fuck kind of shit you're trying to say but know it reeks of asshole, asshole. Why don't you just admit that you're jealous. It kills you to see classic bone structure and ass that won't quit on the big screen. No need to clean up, my maid will get... What the fuck?

Stocking: Guess your ass that won't quit was too much for them, or maybe they don't want their careers to sink along with yours. Send me some postcards from has-been city. I mean, why give up porn for a legitimate movie career right?

Panty: Maybe I over reacted a little bit. You really are the sweetest, smartest little shit in the world.

Panty: Have I told you how fuck-able you are to me right now? Seriously everyone should have a sister like you.

Stocking: Creepy. I'm only doing this for the movie by the way.

Panty: Of course. What's the plan?

Stocking: I managed to grab a list of buyers from your porn distributor, and we're going to pay a visit to every single perv on it.

Panty: You are one brilliant bitch.

Speaker 16: Great doughnut hole. Its Panty Anarchy. Baby squirrel tits I can't believe Deep Throat Panatella of Hot and Horny Baby Doll Bitches is actually in my room right now.

Panty: You breathe one word of this to anyone and I will come back here and blow your freaky loser brains out, and I mean with a gun. You want that, fucknut?

Speaker 16: I don't.

Stocking: You haven't made any copies of that shit have you?

Speaker 16: No ma'am.

Panty: Right answer. Lets go, Stocking.

Speaker 17: Eat it. It will put hair on your chest.

Speaker 18: That's bullshit.

Speaker 17: If you don't eat the red ones you'll die.

Speaker 19: More bullshit.

Speaker 17: If you don't eat the orange ones you'll go blind.

Speaker 18: Bullshit.

Speaker 19: More bullshit!

Speaker 19: Bye see you later.

Panty: What the fuck? Are you serious? You're selling this masterpiece for two bucks. I'm worth more than that.

Panty: Nothing like a wine break to refresh. So Giza's next? Where the fuck is that, Florida?

Stocking: Egypt. (Gibberish) Curry rice.

Panty: Gross, he hid it in his camel's face.

Stocking: I save the day again! Panty, we can leave now!

Panty: Yeah.

Panty: Fuck me proper. Fuck me proper.

Panty: Open wide Chucky. I found it!

Stocking: It's over here!

Panty: Got it!

Stocking: That jack-wagon had my copies.

Panty: Where were you hiding this?

Stocking: It's covered in goo, but I'm pretty sure this is it.

Panty: So where did you say the last one is? Fuck!

Stocking: How about that? Here in a space spankbank.

Panty: Whatever. At least its over with. You know ,it wouldn't hurt to keep just one.

Stocking: I mean it was your film debut. Give it to me, and I'll keep it somewhere safe for you.

Panty: If anyone has my porn it should be you.

Panty: One more time. Some might say that we're just in it for the money, but that's only partly true. You see, the real reason we do it is for you guys.

Speaker 14: This glorious movie also marks Miss Panty's on screen debut. Isn't that right darling?

Panty: Yes, that is correct. I've never done a film or sex tape before this one. Yay!

Speaker 14: Fantastic, well then it comes as no surprise that this is Miss Stocking's first movie as well.

Stocking: Thank you! Doing this film with my sister has been amazing.

Panty: Actually funny story, Stocking started out as my co-star, charity and whatnot, but then we realized she didn't fit the theme we were going for. You know, we wanted bright and shiny glamor, yet all she brought was dark and moody goth. So I did everyone a favor and made myself the only star! I knew you guys would prefer it that way, and since you all mean so much to me I made sure you got what you wanted. And mad props should be given to our talented CG staff who took the time to go back and delete every scene Stocking was in. Now you don't have to gag while watching her face. That's just the first fantastic thing about this movie. You guys are going to love it.

Panty: I love it here. Who wants body shots? The name's Panty, boys, no cock carrying specimen is immune to my sexy powers. Watch yourself.

Briefs: Panty, for real?

Panty: Oh, give it to me daddy. Yeah. Make me work for it.