It's a Trap!


 * Darth Vader: Oh, my God, that was absolute hell! I just...I don't understand why...I mean, we're in a galaxy far, far away, and we still have to change in Atlanta.
 * [Roger as Moff Jerjerrod enters]
 * Moff Jerjerrod: Hi, Darth. You got any bags, or did you leave Mrs. Vader at home?
 * Darth Vader: Wow, it's you? Are we already out of our own characters?
 * Tiaan Jerjerrod: What?
 * Darth Vader: How's the construction going?
 * Tiaan Jerjerrod: Oh, fantabulously. Remember how last time they skimmed along a trench and then blew it up by shooting through a hole?
 * Darth Vader: Yeah.
 * Tiaan Jerjerrod: Well, now there's no trench.
 * Darth Vader: Great. Is there a hole?
 * Tiaan Jerjerrod: [pause] Yes.
 * Darth Vader: What?
 * Tiaan Jerjerrod: There is.
 * Darth Vader: Well, if I were you, I'd repair that hole before the Emperor arrives.
 * Tiaan Jerjerrod: The Emperor is coming here?
 * Darth Vader: Yeah, he loves this place. I was there when he came up with the idea for the Death Star.


 * [Flashback to Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader at the Mos Eisley Cantina]
 * Emperor Palpatine: Hey...Hey, Darth? Darth?
 * Darth Vader: Yeah? What?
 * [the Emperor draws a circle on his napkin]
 * Emperor Palpatine: That. That's what.
 * Darth Vader: What? It's a circle. It's a good circle, I'll give you that.
 * Emperor Palpatine: No. No, no. Space station.
 * Darth Vader: What?
 * Emperor Palpatine: Yep.
 * Darth Vader: What?
 * Emperor Palpatine: Yep, it is.
 * Darth Vader: No way!
 * Emperor Palpatine: It is. It is, big time.


 * [Jabba's palace, Bounty Hunter walks up and pushes a couple of buttons, unfreezing Han, a huge fart follows]
 * Han Solo: Sorry, sorry, been buildin' up for a while. Sorry. I'm so sorry about this.


 * Luke: [after stealing Yoda's credit card] Yes, I'd like to order the wall-sized crossword puzzle. Yes, I have a credit card my name's Yoda... Parseegian?


 * Luke: I can't believe Yoda is dead.
 * Obi-Wan's spirit: He will always be with you, Luke.
 * R2D2: [gasps and jumps into the air] A g..g..g..ghost!


 * Han Solo: You've got something right there.
 * [points to Scout trooper's chest Scout he looks and Han flicks him]
 * Han: Boop!


 * Darth Vader: Join us, Luke. Turn to the backside of the force!
 * Luke Skywalker: What?
 * Darth Vader: Dark side-turn-turn to the-long day.


 * Palpatine: If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed!
 * Luke Skywalker: Oh, yeah? You and what lightning hands?
 * Darth Vader: Oh, now you've done it.


 * Anakin Skywalker: What the hell, man? I was going to make it!
 * Luke Skywalker: Thanks for watching over me and keeping me safe.
 * Anakin Skywalker: Fuck you, you murdered me, you ass!


 * [The Griffins' power comes back on after Peter finishes retelling "Return of the Jedi"]
 * Peter: The end. And that's the final chapter in the Star Wars saga.
 * Meg: What about the prequels?
 * Peter: I think The Cleveland Show is gonna do those.
 * Chris: Dad, one question. What do you got against Seth Green?
 * Peter: I just think he's a douche. You got a problem with that?
 * Chris: Well, we're all entitled to our own opinion. For example, me, I think Seth MacFarlane is a douche.
 * Peter: What's that, now?
 * Lois: Yeah, I don't like him, either.
 * Meg: Yeah, me neither.
 * Stewie: Wait a second. I hear he's a pretty nice guy.
 * Brian: Yeah, good-looking guy. Talented, young...
 * Chris: Talented? He ripped off The Simpsons.
 * Lois: Yeah, he watched TV in the '80s. We get it.
 * Meg: And he only puts out, like, ten new episodes a year.
 * Chris: And then he splits those up into five DVD sets.
 * Peter: He doesn't make those decisions, Chris. Those decisions are made at the corporate level.
 * Chris: But he still takes the money every week. How noble.
 * Lois: And doesn't he have a whole staff that writes those episodes anyway?
 * Peter: Well, I wouldn't know about that, but I think, and I hope, Chris, that ultimately, people will just remember the laughter.