The Proposal Proposal


 * Sheldon: [talking to Stephen Hawking via Skype] They've had one of the greatest minds in the world sitting next to them, and all they wanted to talk about was their stupid nonsense!
 * Hawking: Do you see the irony in that sentence? How about now?


 * Amy: [noticing Ramona sitting at a table nearby] Is that the woman who kissed Sheldon?
 * Leonard: Maybe. Tell us about Princeton.
 * Amy: Excuse me. Dr. Nowitzki?
 * Ramona: [looking up at Amy] Oh. Dr. Fowler. Hello.
 * Amy: [hugging Ramona] Thank you, thank you so much. [Ramona nervously pats Amy's arm with a smile]


 * Leonard: Hey, where you been? We've been calling you for hours.
 * Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. My phone was on "airplane" mode.
 * Leonard: Why?
 * Sheldon: Because I was on an airplane. [he gives Amy a "duh" look]


 * Penny: You asked Stephen Hawking and not her father?
 * Sheldon: Stephen Hawking's a genius. If he said no, I wasn't gonna waste my time on her father.
 * Amy: But you did ask my father?
 * Sheldon: I did. He said yes. Although not in a robot voice, so it wasn't nearly as cool.
 * Penny: Okay. Oh, my god, I can't believe you guys are engaged.
 * Sheldon: We're not engaged yet. She's taking forever to answer.
 * Amy: [irked] Because you're on the phone!
 * Sheldon: We'll call you back. [he hangs up; Leonard hangs up his end, as well; a second later, the phone rings] She said yes.


 * Sheldon: There's something I need to say to you.
 * Amy: I'm listening.
 * Sheldon: I've been thinking about the Avengers.
 * Amy: I believe that. But I don't think that's something you needed to say to me.
 * Sheldon: I realized that Iron Man is great. And also, that Captain America is great. And sometimes, Iron Man is in a Captain America movie, and he's not mad it's not an Iron Man movie. You know, he can fly in, give the audience a thrill, and then fly away. And that should've been me tonight. I should have been the delightful cameo in your movie.
 * Amy: Thank you, Sheldon.
 * Sheldon: Instead, I was like the Hulk, and I...
 * Amy: Okay, please stop talking about the Avengers.


 * Sheldon: Will you marry me? [his phone rings] One moment, please.
 * Amy: [incredulous] Really? You're gonna answer that right now?
 * Sheldon: It's Leonard. I don't want to be rude.
 * Penny: Hey, where are you?
 * Sheldon: I came to Princeton to see Amy. It's a funny story, actually. I was having lunch with Dr. Nowitzki, and she kissed me.
 * Penny: Excuse me?
 * Leonard: What?
 * Amy: I'm sorry?
 * Sheldon: And in that moment, I realized that Amy was the only woman I ever wanted to kiss for the rest of my life. So I came to New Jersey to ask her to marry me.


 * Sheldon: Mother, I have some good news to share.
 * Amy: [giddily] We're engaged!
 * Mary Cooper: I am so happy for you two, but I'm not surprised. I've been praying for this.
 * Sheldon: Well, God had nothing to do with it. It happened because I was kissing another woman, and it made me realize I wanted to be with Amy.
 * Mary Cooper: More than one woman was interested in you? I might have prayed a little too hard.
 * Sheldon: I want to let you know right now that we are not getting married in a church.
 * Mary Cooper: That's all right, Sheldon. Anywhere Jesus is is a church.
 * Sheldon: Well, he won't be at our wedding.
 * Mary Cooper: He's in my heart, so if I'm there, he'll be there.
 * Sheldon: Okay, well, then he's your plus-one. You don't get to bring anyone else.
 * Mary Cooper: That's fine. Love you.
 * Sheldon: Love you, too. Bye.
 * Mary Cooper: [they hang up] Lord, thank you. Even though you can do anything, that was mighty impressive.


 * Sheldon: We're engaged.
 * Raj: Oh, my god, that's amazing! Wait, uh, tell me everything.
 * Sheldon: Well, Dr. Nowitzki was kissing me...
 * Amy: Okay, you can stop leading with that part of the story.


 * Howard: [on the phone with Sheldon] Well, congratulations. I'm so happy for you two. Hold on, I have to tell Bernadette. [knocking on the closed bathroom door. Hey, Bernie, guess what? Sheldon and Amy got engaged. Can you believe it?
 * Bernadette: [staring in worry at a pregnancy test] Oh, my god. I cannot believe it.
 * Howard: [obliviously] She's so happy... I think she's crying.


 * Bernadette: Look, I'm gonna tell you something, but you can't freak out because I'm already freaking out.
 * Penny: Oh, my god. What is it?
 * Bernadette: I'm pregnant again.
 * Penny: Wha... [realizing she's about to freak out, she composes herself] Interesting.
 * Bernadette: Howard's gonna lose his mind.
 * Penny: Wait, you haven't told him yet?
 * Bernadette: No.
 * Penny: [touched] You told me first? Oh, Bernie!
 * Bernadette: This wasn't supposed to happen. We were careful.
 * Penny: Yeah, I didn't even think you could get pregnant while you were breastfeeding.
 * Bernadette: Well, guess what? You can.
 * Penny: Okay, look... look, this is a good thing. Halley's gonna have a little brother or sister to play with.
 * Bernadette: I guess that would be pretty cute.
 * Penny: And, you know, I was a surprise to my parents, and my dad said it was the best thing that ever happened to them.
 * Bernadette: Okay. Maybe this baby actually is a blessing.
 * Penny: Oh, my god, honey, of course it is.
 * Bernadette: [pause] How am I pregnant again?
 * Penny: Yeah, what were you thinking?


 * Sheldon: All right, I'm all checked in to my flight.
 * Amy: Well, I'm sad you're leaving. Why'd you only book a flight for one day?
 * Sheldon: I came here to propose. If you'd said no, I wouldn't want to stick around looking at your stupid face. [seeing her expression] Now, mind you, your face is only stupid in the "no" version of the story.
 * Amy: But I said yes, so I get a lifetime of this.
 * Sheldon: Yes, you do, smart face.


 * Amy: Why don't you stay a few extra days?
 * Sheldon: Well, I don't have any other clothes.
 * Amy: We'll get you some.
 * Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty particular.
 * Amy: Well, there's a comic book store less than a mile from here.
 * Sheldon: Perfect. Let's go shopping.


 * Amy: I'm having dinner with some colleagues tonight. I'm sure they'd love to meet you. [he lets out a moan of disinterest] Come on, what do you say?
 * Sheldon: Aw, you're nagging me. It's like we're already married.
 * Amy: Is that a yes or a no?
 * Sheldon: Jeez, save some for the honeymoon.


 * Raj: Now that Sheldon's out of the picture, I could give you one more chance to go out with me.
 * Ramona Nowitzki: Nope. I'm good.
 * Raj: You sure? I will not ask again.
 * Ramona Nowitzki: I sincerely hope not.
 * Raj: Very well. I'm going to leave before this gets awkward.


 * Amy: Sheldon, these are the heads of my research team.
 * Sheldon: [shaking hands] Hello.
 * Amy: Dr. Zane, Dr. Harris, this is my fiancé, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. That's the first time I've said that, and it kind of gave me the goosebumps.


 * Dr. Harris: Dr. Cooper, we are so excited to meet you.
 * Sheldon: Oh. Well, that's very kind of you. If you'd like, I could autograph your menus after dinner, yeah? But I'd better not see those on eBay.
 * Dr. Zhang: [he laughs] No, no, no. We're just excited to meet the man who landed this brilliant woman here.
 * Sheldon: Oh! That wasn't hard. She threw herself at me. Now, getting the universe to show me her naughty bits, that... that took some doing.


 * Dr. Zhang: I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to sit here and listen to a bunch of work talk.
 * Sheldon: Oh, no, I love it. No, but let's talk about work. Amy's work, my work. You know what? Why don't we start with my work?
 * Dr. Harris: Actually, I do have a question for Dr. Cooper. When Amy first told you about her approach to synaptic tracing, did you think it was gonna revolutionize the field?
 * Sheldon: I d... really? That's your question? What are you, "Entertainment Tonight"? You know what? I'm gonna give you a better question. Here, um... "Dr. Cooper, I heard you were working on a top-secret project for the U.S. military. Why don't you tell us about that?". See, that's a great question.
 * Dr. Harris: Okay, what was that like?
 * Sheldon: Oh, I can't tell you that. It's top secret.


 * Sheldon: Boy, that was exhausting. You know, no offense, but your colleagues were pretty rude.
 * Amy: Really? They were rude?
 * Sheldon: Yes. They just kept talking about you and how great you are, no matter how many times I brought me up.
 * Amy: You know, these are my colleagues, and they want to talk about my work. Why does that bother you so much?
 * Sheldon: Because I was there. It's like having Optimus Prime over to dinner and not asking him to turn into a truck.


 * Amy: You know what, Sheldon? You're not always the smartest person in every room. You may not even be the smartest person in this room.
 * Sheldon: Oh, I am sorry. What, is Neil deGrasse Tyson hiding behind the couch? 'Cause if he is, he's not that smart; it's pretty dusty back there. [Amy storms off] Hey, where are you going?
 * Amy: I'm storming off to my room.
 * Sheldon: Wait, where am I supposed to storm off to?
 * Amy: Well, you're so smart. Why don't you figure it out?
 * Sheldon: [looking around as her door closes] Is there another bedroom? Perhaps a... a den?


 * Leonard: So, how are you guys doing with all the new events in your... womb?
 * Bernadette: Good, you know? Obviously, it was a surprise. There was some crying and some yelling.
 * Howard: Some suggestion of make-up sex that did not go over well, even though it's not like we can get more pregnant.
 * Bernadette: But then we realized that it's a gift, in the sense that we didn't ask for it, and we may not have chosen it...
 * Howard: And we already have one.
 * Penny: You know, whenever I find a top I like, I always go back and get a second one in a different color. [realizing what her statement sounds like] Which I hope is not the case for your baby.


 * Leonard: I know you guys are freaked out, but you're great parents, and if you ever need help, we are here for you.
 * Penny: Yeah. Anything at all, just ask.
 * Bernadette: Ooh, you know what you could do? You could have a baby, too.
 * Penny: I'm sorry, what?
 * Howard: No, that's a great idea. We could go through it together. Wouldn't that be fun?
 * Leonard: You guys were just saying how freaked out and miserable you are.
 * Bernadette: I say a lot of crazy things. I'm pregnant and hormonal. Do it! Have a baby, do it!
 * Howard: Come on, it'd be so cute, our kids playing together? What do you say? Why don't you two hit the old mattress and whip up a family?
 * Penny: Okay, we're not gonna have a baby just to make you guys feel better.
 * Leonard: Yeah. If we're gonna have a baby, it's gonna be when we are ready, or when I'm certain Penny is gonna leave me.
 * Penny: Exactly.


 * Leonard: [offering Penny a cake] Surprise!
 * Penny: Oh, crap. Is it our anniversary?
 * Leonard: No. Wait. [thinking for a moment] No.
 * Penny: No. All right, so what are we celebrating?
 * Leonard: Well, you know, Bernadette and Howard are pregnant again, and Amy and Sheldon are getting married. I didn't want you to feel left out.
 * Penny: Oh. Left out? Well, Bernadette has to grow a baby inside of her, and Amy has to marry one. My life is great.
 * Leonard: So, do you not want the cake?
 * Penny: [he moves to take it back] Try and take it away, see what happens.
 * Leonard: [pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking it] Oh, crap. It is our anniversary.
 * Penny: [through a mouthful of cake] Happy anniversary!


 * Sheldon: I'm proud of you. And I'm going to try to do a better job of sharing the spotlight, because we're a team. You know? Much like... t-the Dodgers. If they had superpowers, and fought crime. And Thor was in them.
 * Amy: Sheldon, I know this isn't easy, but you'll have a whole lifetime to practice.
 * Sheldon: I... it could take that long. I'm really bad at it. [they hug] You know, maybe, um, I should start right now and go back to Pasadena and let you have this experience to yourself.
 * Amy: You just want to go back 'cause that's where everybody makes a fuss over you.
 * Sheldon: You know, your colleagues are right. You are brilliant.


 * Stuart: Who would've thought that Sheldon and Amy would be the next two to tie the knot?
 * Raj: Tell me about. I'm the one who caught the bouquet at Leonard and Penny's wedding.
 * Stuart: Okay. Uh, you know, they might like this. Superman and Wonder Woman, it's kind of romantic.
 * Raj: Hmm. You know what? Why am I buying them a gift? They have love. Screw them and their happiness. What do you have for: someone who's bitter and alone?
 * Stuart: [gesturing around the store] Literally everything.


 * Raj: They're my friends, and I should be happy for them. And... and I'm trying, but all I feel is this gnawing, empty sensation in my gut.
 * Stuart: I had that once. Turned out it was a tapeworm.
 * Raj: Cool. Uh... it's just... it's hard talking to my other friends about this, but I knew you'd understand.
 * Stuart: Why is that?
 * Raj: Because you and I are both alone, which is actually kind of comforting, because at least we can be alone together.
 * Stuart: Mmm. This is... this is awkward. I, um... I was actually gonna close up a little early tonight 'cause I have a date.
 * Raj: Really?
 * Stuart: Yeah.
 * Raj: Forgive me if I'm having trouble being happy for you.
 * Stuart: Don't be silly. I'm loving your pain.


 * Penny: Do you think Sheldon's gonna want some weird "Star Trek" wedding?
 * Bernadette: [distracted] I don't know.
 * Penny: Well, Leonard could barely finish the words "Doctor Who wedding cake" before I shut that down hard.
 * Bernadette: Mmm-hmm.
 * Penny: Are you listening to me?
 * Bernadette: Yeah, you're mean to Leonard. I heard you.