The Uncle

Neighborhood



 * You're late too?!


 * Yeah, the alarm clock went back to sleep mode, and I didn't have the heart to wake it up. You?


 * My alarm clock didn't dare wake me up, not after what I did to the last one!


 * Right, uh, well, see you at school!



It's Mario!



 * How did you get here first?!


 * Yeah, my Uncle Mario gave me a lift.


 * What, in his go-kart?


 * Nah, he only races at the weekend. During the week, he's too busy with his plumbing business.


 * Wait, is he scared of ghosts, by any chance?


 * Yeah.


 * And he likes stars, dinosaurs, and princesses?


 * Mm.


 * And he's your uncle?


 * Yeah. So?


 * Marry me!




 * Called it.


 * Guess I owe you twenty bucks.


 * No, okay, I get it. I'm moving too fast. I meant adopt me.


 * What?


 * Date! Uh, should we d-date first?


 * You mean you want to be friends?


 * Best friends!


 * Uh, okay...




 * The rest will follow naturally.


 * Gumball, it's a bad idea to manipulate someone's feelings for your own gain. Especially if that someone's Ocho.


 * Yeah, I get your point, but on the other hand... Mario!


 * Let's just take a moment to remember what Ocho's like when he's angry.




 * Eh, he's not that bad if you think about it with different music.




 * You'll regret this.


 * Yeah, but my tombstone will say, "This dude met Mario."

Ocho's Tests

 * Follow me! I need to test you before you can enter my circle of trust.


 * Okay, where do we start?


 * I need to see if you've got my back in a fight.




 * I'm gonna punch you so hard, you're gonna beg for your baby teeth back!


 * Yeah? Well, I'm gonna punch you so hard, it'll make the Big Bang seem like the Little Pop!


 * How did this situation escalate so quickly? I was literally two steps behind you!


 * Get them!




 * Okay, don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just gonna take a swing, and you just go, "Aah!" and take a fall and we're good, all right?




 * Okay, great. You're right. It looks better if you put up more of a fight. So next, I--




 * So now I'm gonna pretend to kick. You dodge, and then pretend to fall on a right hook.




 * What?




 * Uh, yeah! That-That's what you get!


 * Very good, but we're not done yet.


 * Good job. You really sold it.


 * Please call an ambulance.


 * Okay, now you're just being hammy.




 * Now I need to test if you keep a secret. Ocho isn't my real name. This is my real name.


 * Harry Tootmorsel.


 * But real friends don't laugh at each other's misfortune.


 * Of course, Tootmorsel... Is it Nordic?


 * Old Flemish, actually. It means "the hot wind from the south." It's a family name that's been passed down the generations. My grandfather passed it. My father passed it. One day, I will pass it.




 * Cool secret. Anything else?


 * I still sleep with the blanket I had as a baby.


 * Awww!


 * I use it as a gag when I take people's pets hostage.




 * Uh-huh. There's no punch line 'cause it's not a joke, is it?




 * Why did you agree to lend Ocho a hundred dollars?!


 * Because it was another one of his tests.


 * That's not a valid reason.


 * Because... Mario.


 * That's even worse! Anyway, where'd you get the money from? Even mom and dad don't have a hundred dollars.


 * Not anymore they don't.




 * But, that's what credit cards are for, right? What's the worst that could happen?




 * So one-hundred expired doughnuts comes to... one dollar.


 * Bargain! Oh, better put it on the credit card.


 * The card's been declined, sir.


 * What?


 * I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cut it up.


 * Ohh, this couldn't get any worse.


 * But, we have our own store credit-card scheme that lets you borrow as much as you like. With interest, of course.


 * Fine!


 * Thank you. According to our interest scheme, you now owe us seventy-five hundred and seventy-eight dollars.


 * This really couldn't get any worse.


 * Unfortunately, the interest rate doubles every second, so you now owe us fifteen-thousand one-hundred and fifty-six dollars.


 * It really, really couldn't get any worse.


 * Thirty-thousand three-hundred and twelve dollars, sixty-thousand six-hundred and twenty-four dollars--


 * Touché, universe. Touché.


 * One-hundred and twenty-one thousand two-hundred and forty-eight dollars.




 * Gah! Aah! What is this?! What is going on?!


 * You took my best friend from me!


 * Who are you?! What do you want?!




 * You took Ocho from me! Now you're gonna have to make a choice.


 * What?! What do you mean?!




 * Choose between yourself and Ocho. One of you has to go. Option A: Jump, and I spare him. Option B: Don't jump, and he goes down. So what's your answer?


 * Y-Yes.


 * "Yes" what?!




 * What?!




 * Hold on, let me get closer. I can't hear a word of what you're saying.


 * Ha! You fell into my trap!


 * I'm on the other side.


 * Aw.


 * Fine. You've made your choice.




 * Make your decision! It's him or you! You're running out of time! Choose, NOW!




 * Huh?


 * Good choice.




 * A true friend always puts the other before himself. Also, funny prank, right?




 * Yeah. You really got me there.

The Circle of Trust



 * Um, what's this?


 * The circle of trust. To complete the ritual, you must forsake all other friends and declare your loyalty to me alone.


 * What do you mean?


 * You must sacrifice Darwin.




 * "Darwin is no longer my best friend. Best friendship is begun with Ocho?" Uh, ouch.


 * Trust me. It's way better than what he suggested I use this for. And this was the final hoop I had to jump through to be friends with that nut case. You know you'll always be my bae...


 * And you'll always be my boo.


 * and : Your friendship gets me through the trials of the day, and through the darkness of the evening too.


 * All right, then, so when do you get to see Mario?


 * Apparently, he's taking me and Ocho for golf! I mean, that's probably the most boring game you can play with Mario, but still. Yahoo!




 * Let's a go!




 * Da-bop-a-doo gross.




 * Budda-ba shouldn't have done that. Wah, ha, wahoo!




 * Hey, man!


 * Oh, hey, dude. This is my uncle.




 * Hey, it's me, Mario.


 * Uh.

This Friendship is Over!



 * You must be really disappointed it wasn't the real Mario. Still, makes sense. I mean, any guy would like go-karting, stars, and princesses.


 * I think I'm more upset about the amount of butt he flashed every time he picked up the ball. It looked like a huge purple apricot stuffed into a cheap pair of polyester pants.




 * So what now?


 * I refuse to hang out with a kid whose own parents have to lock their bedroom door to feel safe at night.


 * Uh, how do you let someone that dangerous down?


 * Off the edge of a cliff.


 * You mean that metaphorically, right?


 * Yeah, o-of course.


 * How are you gonna break it to him?


 * A strongly worded letter!




 * A mildly worded poem?




 * I wanna say you're a real good guy


 * But we both know that would be a lie


 * It's been a nightmare being your friend


 * So it's time for this charade to end


 * I can't say goodbye


 * Cause you might grind me down into meat pie


 * I'll tell the school that you've got avian flu


 * So it'll be their job to get rid of you


 * I hope they put you into quarantine


 * Or lock you up until you turn eighteen


 * So maybe then I'll never have to fear


 * That you might suddenly bite off my ear


 * Please don't bite off my ear


 * I can't say goodbye


 * My face will be too mangled to identify


 * If I could get your house repossessed


 * You'll be forced to relocate to your gran's in the Northwest


 * I could get you arrested for stealing a car


 * I could get you a job as a miner


 * I could ship you in a crate to Qatar


 * Or sell you as kebab to a dirty diner


 * It's not real meat, anyway


 * I could get your folks to forget you on the freeway


 * Sell you to a freak show on its way to Uruguay


 * I could get you stuck on a fairground ride, forever


 * Send you to a wedding in Somewhere-stan with you as the bride


 * I can't say goodbye


 * But it's no use trying to deny


 * That I don't wanna be friends with you


 * So do whatever you have to do




 * I get it. Too intense, right?


 * If I had to rate my stress on a scale of one to ten, I'd score a--




 * I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tested you like that. It's just, I got trust issues. I always wonder if people really want to be friends with me, or, you know, because of my uncle being so famous and stuff.


 * What? Mario?


 * No, the other one. The blue hedgehog who can run very fast.




 * But it's cool. After all we've been through. I think I'm more able to trust people now, so thanks for that.


 * Wait!


 * Not worth it.


 * You're right.