How Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Should Have Ended


 * Indiana Jones: What will happen if we cross the seal?
 * Knight: Oh, you will be mortal again. But if you remove the grail, this whole place will collapse and everyone will die.
 * Indiana Jones: So what's the point then in having you stand guard here for over 700 years??
 * Knight: So that... Ummmmm.
 * Indiana Jones: I mean, it seems like you could have everything you just told me on the wall or something and then you wouldn't have to sit here alone the whole time.
 * Knight: (Gasps) I've wasted my life!!! Tip toe, tip toe, don't step on the wrong one... Oh, I hope my girlfriend is still alive! (Gasps)
 * Indiana Jones' Dad: Was that a knight?
 * Indiana Jones: Here, grail's all yours.
 * All: (Gasps)
 * Indiana Jones: Ok, dad, we're out of here.
 * All: Hahahaha! We got the grail, we got the grail! We got the grail!! We got the grail!! We got the grail!!


 * Indiana Jones' Dad: But she's one of them!
 * Indiana Jones: Wh- eh? How do you know that?
 * Indiana Jones' Dad: She talks in her sleep.
 * Indiana Jones: What!?!? Dad, how do you know that?
 * Indiana Jones' Dad: She and I... well... you know.
 * Indiana Jones: You slept with my dad???
 * Girl: Uhh, no!!
 * Indiana Jones' Dad: Oh yes she did.
 * Indiana Jones: What kind of person does that?!?
 * Girl: I don't know what he's talking about!
 * Indiana Jones: You knew I was his son, Elsa.
 * Elsa: Indy, please!
 * Indiana Jones: Hold on, hold on... (Gagging) Hold on. (Gagging) Uhh, I think I'm gonna throw up. (Barfs)
 * Indiana Jones' Dad: Well it isn't disgusting is it?
 * Elsa: No.
 * Indiana Jones: Yes it is. (Barfs)
 * Nazi Guy: Ya, that is pretty messed up.
 * Indiana Jones' Dad: But she's one of them! But she's one of them. But she's... kind of sounds like I'm saying "butt cheese". Hahahaha!