Prisoner in the Pipe

GIRL: No, Daddy, I can't. Don't make me.

MAN: Sweetie... there's no monster in the toilet.

I promise you, Princess, okay?

I poop by myself.

And Mommy poops by herself, right?

You can, too. Look at you.

You are a big girl now.

But I'm scared.

That's okay, sweetie.

That's okay. We're all scared sometimes.

But that's why you get to have as much ice cream as you want.

And... a cat.

Okay?

Okay.

Go ahead, sweetie.

Daddy's going to stay right here, Princess.

That's a good girl. A good, brave girl.

Everything's gonna be just fine, I promise.

I want a brown cat and a turtle!

(toilet lid opens)

(screams)

What's the matter?

(screaming)

(both screaming)

You'll receive excellent care at St. George's.

Our maternity facilities are number one in all categories.

Including the incidence of staph infection.

No, this is a great hospital, okay?

They've got great doctors, plus they have the best lactation specialist in the world.

She's so good, I bet she could teach me how to lactate.

Okay, you have made your preference for our baby being born in a Catholic hospital very clear. Catholic has nothing to do with it, okay? It's just, it's an outstanding hospital, right?

Mm-hmm. I want a home birth, where I can control things.

A lot safer in the hospital, Bones, come on.

No. leading to a high incidence of E. coli and staphylococcus infections.

I'm sorry, is that true? BOOTH: No! No.

No.

Based on the spatter patterns and viscosity, I see indications of blood, blood, cerebrospinal fluid, amniotic fluid, blood, more blood...

Is there a problem back there?

(cell phone rings)

Don't touch anything.

Brennan. Put the light away.

Oh. Cam just found an eyeball in a toilet.

BOOTH: Oh.

I didn't check the toilets.

Let's-let's get out of here.

Great tour. Great hospital.

We'll be in touch, all right? I'll get that, uh, lactation specialist's number from you, all right?

Don't need that. Right?

I'm lactating right now. This is a great spot.

There are no signs of anyone being killed or dismembered in the house.

Which means the remains must have come up through the pipe.

BOOTH: Wow! Okay, the rest of the body's probably blocking the lines. This kid is going to have some serious issues with toilet training, huh?

Okay, I have a sphenoid, and what looks like several fragments of the maxilla.

Oh.

You're good. I'm still trying to get a hold of this eyeball.

Hey, how did the, uh, hospital tour go?

May I?

Booth liked it.

But he seems very comfortable around germs.

Yeah. Boys are like that.

It was a great hospital. Shiny machines, masks all over the place.

Exactly what you need when you're about to have a baby, right, Bones?

I'll need more bones if we're going to learn anything about this victim.

Oh, local cops say roots clogged up the sewer lines, and stuff is backing up all over the neighborhood.

The question is, how did the vic wind up in so many pieces?

Well, the deceased could have become trapped in the sewer, and then decomposed, which I have never seen, but I'd certainly like to.

I could write a paper and-and cite you.

That's okay, Bones.

Maybe the victim was flushed down more than one toilet.

Another fascinating prospect.

Okay. Sorry I asked.

Animals could have eaten the tendons and the cartilage, causing him to break apart into multiple pieces.

Bones, you don't have to get so excited, okay?

This-this is not a game.

Yes. Yes! A winner.

Oh...

Ha-ha! Whew. Good one.

Whoo!

Oof. Sorry.

(under her breath): There we go.

♪ Bones 7x07 ♪ The Prisoner in the Pipe Original Air Date on April 2, 2012

♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method

♪

These are from the species ailanthus altissima.

It originated in China, where it's called tree of heaven, and we find it clogging a sewer pipe.

There's a joke in there somewhere, if anyone wants to knock it loose.

Thanks. I'll pass.

I see the irony, I-I don't see the joke.

But this stage in my pregnancy, my IQ could be eight to ten points lower than normal.

Which is why we all need to pitch in and help out every way we can.

I'm becoming a certified doula.

You aren't getting anywhere near my cervix, Ms. Wick.

Just saying.

Should you find yourself in need, I could stop at the perineum.

What I need to know is what progress you've made with the bones.

We only have fragments, so it's difficult to determine much.

But since there's no duplication of elements, the remains originate from one victim.

And I have found enough bones that form the maxillary sinus to indicate the victim is male.

SAROYAN: A man, in pieces, in a sewer.

Well, at least we're getting somewhere.

Would the lady care for some tendon?

Why, thank you, sir. My favorite cut.

Run your headlamp over the table again.

He has a lens implant.

Oh...

Okay...

SAROYAN: And it has a serial number.

We can ID our victim.

Nice, Dr. Brennan.

Hey. I'll have a couple black.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, whoa. What is that thing?

We're trying to rub out Mocha Joe's down the street.

Ooh. What can you tell me about the, uh, spice-a-chino?

It's like a cappuccino, but with four different spices?

Sweets, just get on with this, okay, so I don't have to look at that thing.

What do you have against the cappuccino machine?

This is a diner.

I come here because there is no cappuccino machine.

You understand? Some things, they need to be sacred.

Right? Preserved.

All right? In this country, there is a line between coffee and foamy crap.

And when that line gets blurred, people, they just become animals.

You okay?

No! No, I'm not okay.

I'm not dunking my donut into some cappuccino.

That's not why I joined the Army.

I didn't join the Army for that, you know?

We'll take two regular coffees, please. Thanks.

BOOTH: Two black.

Let's sit. What?

Let's sit down.

(sighs)

Uh...

Gotta be honest: tiny issue... somewhat... somewhat oversized reaction.

What's going on?

(sighs)

Okay. I, uh...

Okay.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

I need to ask you for some help.

Here you go, boys.

BOOTH: Look at that!

Black coffee. Um...

Bones, she wants to have the baby at home, and I want to have the baby at the hospital, and, you know...

Have you discussed this with her?

Oh, she's dug her heels in. Come on, you know Bones.

What do you want me to do?

I mean, if she's not going to listen to you, she's not going to listen to me.

Okay, look, I'm thinking that maybe you have some of that, you know, heavy-duty, "in case of emergency" shrinky stuff that you could throw at her?

You know, that... Look.

I'm desperate. I'm desperate.

Yeah. I'm not... see, I'm not really supposed to, um... take sides, when it comes to co-workers and personal issues.

No, no, no. It's not coming from a co-worker place, here.

Look, it's, uh... I'm asking you as a friend.

Oh.

I'm touched.

It's nice to hear you acknowledge me as a friend.

So you'll do it?

That's what friends do. (mimics explosion)

(laughing) All right.

We should... we should do more stuff together, right?

I mean, we don't... We don't ever...

Let's grab a beer sometime, for the heck of it.

Watch soccer.

Soccer?

Why not?

Baby steps. Okay.

Okay? First, let's deal with the hospital thing.

Yeah! Okay? Yeah?

Yeah! Hey? Friend?

Yeah.

(cell phone rings) All right. Booth.

So I cross-checked the serial number on the lens implant against the manufacturer's database, and a name came up.

Rob Lazebnik.

BOOTH: Lazebnik?

That name sounds familiar.

Did you, uh, run it through the NCIC?

ANGELA: Yep. Lazebnik was a fugitive.

He escaped from the federal penitentiary at Jamestown four weeks ago.

BOOTH: Well, it looks like he was better off behind bars.

CLAIRE: So someone killed my husband.

No surprise there.

He was ripping off his clients; it was a Ponzi scheme.

Like with Bernie Madoff.

If only.

Madoff's wife ended up with something to live on.

Rob?

Burned through everything he ever had.

Must have been fun while it lasted.

Oh. Yeah.

For him.

He got to act like a high roller.

He blew it all at casinos, buying fancy yachts... oh, and there were plenty of hookers.

There wasn't a dime left for me.

Right. So who did your husband try to contact after he escaped from prison? For help?

Nobody.

Robbie burned every bridge he had.

Which means that leaves you. Did he try and contact you?

Not a chance.

I told that son of a bitch I would slit his throat if he ever tried to talk to me again.

Really?

It's a figure of speech. Right.

Probably best if you don't leave town during this investigation.

Don't worry.

Can't afford to.

BRENNAN: Almost all of the bones appear to have been fractured post-mortem.

Yeah. They were probably broken up so they could fit down the drain.

Booth is pressuring me to have the baby in a hospital.

Well, that's not his decision.

Booth says that he's worried about complications, but I'm healthy, and I don't mean to be boastful, but my mucosal plug is superb.

All right. Girl's got good plug.

And now we all know.

I ran a tox screen on the ocular fluid, and it came back negative, which eliminates poison as cause of death.

You have anything? There's a fragment of the right ninth rib with striations that are consistent with a stab wound.

But there's so little evidence, it would be irresponsible for me to form a conclusion at this point.

Come on.

Just this once.

No. SAROYAN: You can do it.

Just say "it's a stabbing."

I can't.

We'll think you're cool if you do.

Well, I want to be cool.

But I can't.

(Angela sighs)

It's okay, honey. We still love you just the same.

(Daisy gasps)

It's adorable!

What else can you make it do?

Okay, this is not a toy.

Who am I kidding? It's the coolest toy ever.

It's a Sewerbot.

Right now, its identical twin is about to crawl into the sewer pipes by the house with the magic toilet.

Now, your job is to stare at muck.

Give a shout if you see anything that could be evidence.

(clears throat)

Mm, nothing here.

Nothing yet.

Nothing now.

Nope.

Still nothing.

Nothing there.

Nada. Nothing...

Is that really necessary?

I thought...

You're right.

(sighs)

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Do you think I overstepped my bounds by becoming a doula?

Yes.

No, really.

Yes, really.

But it was so nice of me.

It's more creepy than nice.

You're joking.

Wish I was.

(shouts) Oh, God.

Okay, yes, I'm sorry.

I was joking. No.

I found a partial scapula.

You said shout.

BRENNAN: We have a lot of work today.

I don't understand why we have to spend any of it with Sweets.

BOOTH: Bureau procedure. You know how it is.

Right, Sweets?

Yeah, yeah.

So I need to, uh...

I need to do a partner assessment to see how you function, so Agent Booth can be paired with the proper person while you're on leave.

I've never heard of such an assessment.

Oh, it's new.

You know how the bureau is.

BRENNAN: Fine.

Then assess me.

Hurry it along here, Sweets.

Okay.

Uh, first question.

Would you describe yourself as overly cautious, appropriately cautious or a risk taker?

Appropriately cautious.

Okay.

Do you tend to make decisions based on gut instinct or on expertly compiled data?

The latter.

All right.

Question three.

How would it affect your decision-making process if, uh... expertly compiled data proved something, uh, conclusively despite your belief system?

I'd have to have an example.

An example.

Um, I don't know-- uh, I don't know where, uh...

Say, the safest place to give birth is in a well-respected hospital or...

Why you looking at me like that?

You are using this partner assessment to influence me on a personal matter.

That is extremely unethical. Wait.

Assuming that psychologists have ethics.

I don't know. SWEETS: Uh, okay.

Uh, Dr. Brennan, perhaps the... the emotions that you're experiencing during pregnancy are affecting what... what should be a carefully reasoned decision.

I mean, for your sake and the baby's, the safest place to give birth is a hospital.

BRENNAN: No, that's not true.

Are you the one who has to undergo wave after wave of mind-searing pain that only ends after a writhing, screaming object the size of a... a... a jack-o-lantern pushes its way through your v*g1n*?

No.

I thought you'd use the word "watermelon."

I couldn't think of the word.

When you give birth to a baby, you can make the decisions.

Right now, I don't want to hear any more about this from you. Understood?

Yes, ma'am.

We should go. Yeah.

You two should be ashamed of yourselves.

Nice going.

Oh... okay, okay, it wasn't my finest moment, but we'll get through this together.

If anything, it'll make our friendship stronger.

No soccer.

Don't say that.

This looks like part of his tibia.

And some teeth!

Yeah, well, enjoy it, 'cause it's our last.

The Sewerbot's reached the end of the line.

Why would there be bars in a sewer?

I don't know.

Because the sewer line ends at Jamestown Federal Prison.

Wait... wait a minute.

This guy never escaped.

He was killed in prison, and then dumped in the sewer.

Jamestown's a hard-core lockup.

All right, so just stay close to me.

No eye contact, and I want you to keep an arm's length from the bars.

Prisoners won't hurt a child.

It's one of their strongest taboos.

And since I am obviously just a few weeks from delivery, I feel quite confident I will be safe.

Okay, work with me on this, okay, Bones?

You have to learn how to compromise.

I can compromise.

I'm willing to let you have our daughter baptized.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Children need mythology.

It helps them make sense of the world.

My religion is not a myth.

I'm an author, Booth.

I understand how narrative works, and so does your Bible.

A pregnant woman is about to give birth.

She finds an inn, but they won't let her stay there, so she is forced to give birth in a barn.

Whoever wrote that really knew how to manipulate an audience.

Well, it happened.

Fine.

You can baptize our daughter, and I will make sure that she is born at home.

Perfect compromise.

SAROYAN: Anything new, Miss Wick?

We have so many pieces of bone, and I haven't found any evidence of kerf marks.

So, he wasn't cut up with a knife or a saw.

Absolutely not.

His bones are fractured.

(sighs)

Do you smell roses?

Yes.

Rose water.

It's a uterine relaxant.

I learned about it in doula class.

Uh, it's inert, so it won't compromise the bones.

You put rose water on the bones?

Yep, so when Dr. Brennan's working, she will also be relaxing uterinely.

And the bones needed a little freshening up after four weeks in the sewer.

Who-who wouldn't?

Not all these breaks happened after he died.

I found some remodeled fracturing of the manubrium, the distal end of the left clavicle and two of the upper ribs.

Those breaks occurred about a year ago.

That's when Lazebnik went to jail.

He must have been beaten when he got there.

(buzzer sounds)

BOOTH: So Lazebnik's remains show evidence that he was beaten a year ago. No surprise there.

The food here's all cooked by the inmates, but the beef stew isn't half bad.

Oh, so you know about the beatings.

Well, he was probably beaten to learn the prison hierarchy. Exactly.

Hey, you want some beef stew, you let me know.

My wife was always starving before she burst.

Thank you, but I'm a vegetarian.

So is my wife, except when she's pregnant.

Then she can't eat enough cow.

You know what, you should try the...

I am not your wife. Right.

Lazebnik was dumped into the sewer system in pieces.

I'll need to see the blueprints for the prison to see what drains could have been used.

Sure. Operations should have those.

Great.

How about a cookie, then?

Who did it, pal?

I baked them myself.

No, the beating, all right?

Which one of these Boy Scouts beat him?

Uh, it's impossible to tell.

They pick their target, they form a ring around him-- you can't see inside-- and then they go to town on him.

Another prisoner jumped in and broke it up before any of us guards got out there.

Do you know who broke it up?

Yep. He's right there.

Haze Jackson.

But he won't talk.

Huh. Let me give him a try.

You check out the blueprints.

MONTENEGRO: So Daisy said the bones were so fragmented that it could take days to piece them back together by hand, so I did a digital reconstruction.

Now, the red indicates the bones that we're missing.

Dr. Brennan found striations on the right ninth rib that indicated the possibility of a stab wound.

Once we had more bones to look at, I found a nick on the anterior aspect of the L1 vertebra that confirmed the victim was stabbed in the abdomen.

Of course it was a stab wound.

Why couldn't she just say it?

Because she's Brennan.

Okay, so the knife went in at the rib and stopped when it hit the spine.

That's nine inches and change, and it'd be difficult to find a knife that long in prison.

Hmm.

What if he doubled over?

This compresses the distance between the rib and the L1.

Yes, to 3.75 inches.

Is it possible to add the major abdominal blood vessels?

Sure.

SAROYAN: If the weapon began at the right ninth rib and nicked the L1, the inferior vena cava would be directly in its path.

That would cause massive internal hemorrhaging.

Looks like we have our cause of death.

HAZE: If they say I knew Lazebnik, then I guess I knew him, but I didn't help him escape.

I've only got two weeks left in here.

I wouldn't risk screwing up now.

Lazebnik didn't escape.

What do you mean?

He was killed in here.

What?

Yeah.

Do they know who did it? No.

But you should. We know you stepped in and saved Lazebnik from getting a beating about a year ago.

So we know you two were looking out for each other, right?

I just did what I would do for a friend. That's it.

Tell me about the beating.

Who was after him?

I told you--

I'm getting released in two weeks.

But it ain't gonna mean much if I'm dead before that.

They can make sure that doesn't happen.

Not a chance. Fine.

I'll just extend your stay.

You can't do that. Oh, yeah?

You know, impede on a federal murder investigation, we'll see what happens, okay?

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay.

The last time I saw Lazebnik, the warden had just pulled him off his job in accounting because she needed to see him.

Why? Dude was in here for financial fraud or whatever, then he does the books for this place?

Put it together yourself.

All I know is... he went to the warden's office, and I never saw him again.

Just... don't say you heard it from me.

They sic a guard on me, I might wind up in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.

WARDEN: I don't know how Lazebnik got assigned to accounting.

Is that not your responsibility?

I have a lot of responsibilities.

That's why I delegate.

When I found out where he was assigned, I pulled him off the job.

That's all that matters.

BRENNAN: There are over 500 drains that Lazebnik could have been dumped in.

It would take weeks for us to check every single one of them.

Should you be on a case?

You look like you're ready to give birth here.

That's exactly why we'd like to move this along. Shall we now?

I don't know how he got the job in the first place, but it was a no-brainer for me to transfer him once I found some funds had gone missing.

Gone missing? I'm sorry.

Why didn't you tell me that on the phone?

Lazebnik siphoned off a small amount-- less than $500.

I nipped it in the bud.

Doesn't make you look good, now, does it?

Huh, prisoners stealing from you?

Rob Lazebnik was a criminal, and criminals steal.

There was nothing unusual about it.

The judge would have given him another six months.

(cell phone ringing)

This is Brennan.

MONTENEGRO: I've got a new one for your big book of stereolithographic firsts.

I-I don't have that book.

Okay.

Doesn't matter.

I used the vector points of the victim's internal wounds to make a negative of the murder weapon.

And from that, I could print out a positive 3-D image of it.

It's conical. 3.75 in length.

It's a shiv.

The dimensions of the murder weapon indicate that it was a shiv.

So when's the last time you tossed the cells?

We did a full sweep just last week.

BOOTH: Wow.

Knock yourself out.

Wow, there's of lot of them here, huh, Bones?

Lots of blood, too.

This is really excellent field technique.

Each of one of these shivs is tagged with the number of the cell in which it was found.

It will be useful if I find a likely murder weapon.

Bones, don't you think you'd be better off back in the lab?

No, we are far more effective on-site.

Plus, we have the equipment from the infirmary.

You're about to pop, and I'm looking at 148 homemade murder weapons.

I think you'd be better off back at the lab. More effective, okay?

Let's go.

Booth, look at this one.

It's nasty.

It matches the photo Angela sent to us.

I am quite certain this is the murder weapon.

Ah, we could have a winner, huh!

The tag on this one says that it was found in cell number Y203.

Y203 isn't a cell.

It's an area of the yard.

Who has access to that?

Every convict who isn't sick or in solitary.

It looks like this was made from paper.

Paper?

Strong, heavy stock tightly compressed, glued together.

It's a very effective weapon.

BOOTH: Now what?

There's something printed on this.

If Angela can find out where this paper came from, it could might lead us back to the killer.

How's it going?

Not well.

I thought if I sat at Dr. Brennan's desk and looked at these bones like she does, it would clarify things for me.

Aah, it's no use! I still can't figure it out!

There are no kerf marks at the ends of the humeri, the tibias or either femur.

Why is that a problem? Because it means that the body wasn't dismembered with a cutting implement.

I have no idea how the remains were broken up.

You'll get it.

You know what might help? No!

No, we can't. Not in this office.

Not in any office.

Well, I need a distraction.

It clears the mind.

Daisy, we can't!

The walls are glass.

We don't have to take off all our clothes, and those crates will block us.

I know you want to.

I don't, I don't.

Your nose is growing, Pinocchio.

Okay.

I can't... Oh, wait, Lance!

(both giggling)

Whoo!

DAISY: Oh, no! Oh, no!

Wait a minute!

Really?

There's micro-pitting on these, and I'd totally missed the point!

I thought it was decomp from the sewage, but it's not.

It means the bones were exposed to acid.

That could be how the body was dismembered!

See, I told you that I just needed to clear my mind.

This is great!

Not so much for me.

I have to show these to Dr. Hodgins.

Now?

Uh-huh.

Thank you, Lancelot. Thank you!

(sighs)

Oh.

Hi. I was looking for a...

I dropped a thing down here. I was just...

Why is my coat like that?

I was looking for...

I'm down here 'cause I've lost a...

(sighs)

(hissing)

Whoa-ho! This is the Mailbox Works.

The prison's been building them for the Postal Service since 1957.

And they use acid in the process? Sure.

They clean the mailboxes in an acid bath before the paint goes on.

Hydrochloric.

Definitely could've dropped the body in there, Bones.

Mm. Certainly large enough.

I'll take samples and have them sent back to the lab to see if the acid matches the damage to the bones.

Look, I'll need a roster of the work crew the night that Lazebnik disappeared.

You got it? - You got it.

Okay.

MAN: Yeah, I've been supervisor of the Mailbox Works for over a year now. So?

So, Lazebnik, he took advantage of your parents, didn't he, huh?

Wiped out their entire savings.

I'm saying nothing.

Somebody does that to my family, I'd want to kill 'em, too.

What would I do?

I'd make myself a shiv.

I didn't make no shiv.

You're in charge of the paint crew, aren't you? You could have easily disposed of the body in the acid bath.

Look, I didn't kill Lazebnik. I never killed anybody.

But you gave him a good beating when he showed up here in Jamestown. What was that, about a year ago?

Who told you about that?

That was a lucky guess.

You know, you're getting things out of me I didn't say, so we're done here.

I'll tell you when we're done. I may have to sit here.

Nothing I can do about that.

But I'm saying nothing else without a lawyer, so...

BOOTH: Trust me, okay? He's the guy.

Okay, what, I'm just supposed to accept your hunch?

He's got motive, he's got his own personal acid bath!

What more do you want?

That is all circumstantial, Booth, and you know it.

You're pressuring me.

You look tired. I mean, you look exhausted. I mean, I can see it.

You've been on your feet all day, huh?

These guys aren't going anywhere.

Come on. We can come back tomorrow.

Let's just get back home, huh?

We'll get some sleep. We'll come back if we have to.

Look, Bones, you're not Superwoman, okay?

You're nine months pregnant.

You can't overexert yourself.

I mean, even you know that.

Look at me. Hey, I love you.

And if anything happens to this child, I would die.

So let's just go home, get some rest. We'll come back here tomorrow, okay?

Okay.

Here we go.

That's it. (phone rings)

Make your favorite soup.

Oh. Brennan.

I just finished testing hydrochloric acid on some bone, all different concentrations.

The micro-pitting does not match.

There's another kind of acid in that prison.

Now what?

We have to go back in.

No, we do not have to go back in.

It wasn't hydrochloric acid, Booth.

There's some other acid in there.

I know how fast word travels in prison, and the killer could be destroying evidence already.

No, Bones, we don't have to go back in.

Let's just turn around and get...

What did I just say? We don't have to go back in.

We have to do this, Booth. Then I'll give you 15 minutes.

I need to find out if there's another source of acid in the prison.

And I need you to do that fast for us.

Well, there's only hydrochloric acid in the Mailbox Works.

I can't think of any other.

(gasps)

Bones, you all right?

Yes. It's just Braxton-Hicks contractions.

I've been having them for the past month. I'm fine.

(phone rings) Okay, well, then that's. exactly why that you should...

Brennan. (frustrated groan)

I was able to restore part of the text from the paper scraps that you sent me.

One contains a fraction, "1/3," and the letters, "a-r-g-a-r."

It comes from the word "margarine," and the "1/3" is a 1/3 of a cup.

The papers were from a cookbook.

Eight different pages.

Is there any way to tell which cookbook?

Yeah. I ran the typeface through the Library of Congress database, and I got the name and the date of publication and a lot of tips on how to cook for prisoners.

It's The Gordon Institutional Recipe Index, 1993 edition.

Apparently, prisoners really like cookies.

Okay, we need a copy of The Gordon Institutional Recipe Index, the 1993 edition.

There should be at least eight pages missing.

I have no idea what that is.

It's got to be in the kitchen, ace. Oh, sure.

Uh, I'll get it for you right now.

No, just show us where the kitchen is.

I like to see it in context.

No, no, no, you're gonna sit tight, okay? I'll go get it.

Why?

'Cause I don't want our baby born in a prison!

Why not? Their infirmary is an accredited healthcare facility.

Isn't that what you wanted?

That drain by the coffeemakers is big enough to flush the bones.

Hey, look at that, Bones. No screws.

Found it.

Found it. Okay, great.

Let's head back. Come on. Come on.

And there's pages missing. Whoever ripped these out must've left their prints on the opposite page.

Well, let's head back to the lab so you can pull the prints.

No. No time. We have to lift the prints right here.

You don't have a print kit.

We do now.

Cocoa. Right, cocoa.

BOOTH: Cocoa.

I'll send these prints to Angela.

HODGINS: I found some particulates in the pitting, ran them through the mass spec.

They turned out to be a synthetic rubber.

And look. This formulation is made by one and only one manufacturer, in Dayton, Ohio.

They use it to make shoes for prisoners.

Yes, of course!!

His bones would be super brittle after being immersed in hydrochloric acid.

The killer stomped on his bones so they'd fit down a drain.

And that's how the rubber got on them.

We are brilliant!

Yeah, except it wasn't hydrochloric acid.

And there don't seem to be any other acids at the prison.

Angela said that Lazebnik was killed with a cookbook.

Are there any acids in a kitchen?

Vinegar, but it's a little hard to dissolve someone in salad dressing.

Unless...

This is gonna be good, isn't it?

I hope so.

Yes, it is.

It is very, very good.

You can take vinegar and evaporate it down to acetic acid.

That would match the micro-pitting we found on the bones.

Actually, I found the pitting, but this acetic acid thing is awesome, too.

SAROYAN: This looks like my mom's old muffin recipe.

Only she used about 20 pounds less flour.

Brennan did a great job with these prints.

I'm gonna run them through the FBI database.

The Bureau of Prisons has a database, and you can limit the search to the Jamestown facility.

Ooh.

Got it.

SAROYAN: Haze Jackson.

And look at his file.

He works in the kitchen.

Jackson dissolved Lazebnik in the acid and then stomped on his bones until they could be flushed down the drain.

He never had to leave the kitchen.

Okay, perfect. You solved it. Now let's go.

No, I need Jackson's shoes.

There should be bone fragments in the soles that will tie him to the murder.

Okay, fine. I'll do it, not you.

No, it's too dangerous for you, Booth.

They won't touch me. I'm pregnant.

We're not gonna test that here, Bones.

Haze Jackson!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I want Haze Jackson!

BOOTH: Hey, Bones!

MAN: Hey, man, get out the way; she's pregnant.

Haze Jackson?

Get out of my way.

Bones!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Get back.

Bones! She's pregnant. Move back!

BRENNAN: I want Haze Jackson!

I don't know, man.

She's calling for somebody.

(grunting)

(clamoring)

Bones!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Bones, Bones, Bones, Bones!

Haze!

BOOTH: Bones!

(alarm buzzing)

BOOTH: Bones!

Bones!

(alarm buzzing, prisoners clamoring)

BOOTH: Bones!

Haze!

Bones!

Bones! Get out of the way!

The woman's pregnant.

Haze!

Get back!

Mr. Jackson, I want your shoes.

BOOTH: Wh-Wh-Whoa!

He wouldn't have hurt me, Booth.

Okay, well, I'm being overprotective.

(whistle blows)

Get down! Get down!

That's it.

On the ground now!

Nobody moves!

Oh, you.

You risked your life protecting this Lazebnik guy, huh? Why'd you kill him?

Because he was gonna pay me.

Then you found out that Lazebnik didn't have anything left.

He played me!

Get his shoes. We have to run.

Why? Where you going?

I'm in labor!

Right, she's in labor now--

Labor?! Bones!

Labor, labor, labor.

Okay, here we go.

I'm not gonna rush you.

Here, watch your step there.

Just keep breathing heavily, all right?

Look, there's a hospital up ahead about ten miles or so.

(vehicle hits bump, both yell)

Oh, whoa! (groaning)

Stupid road! Stupid, stupid road!

Sorry, Bones.

I'm burning up. Will you turn off the heat?

I got the AC blasting in here.

Oh, God, you're in labor, you're in labor!

I'm in a very uncomfortable position.

Okay, just relax, just try to relax.

Try to put the seat back. Decline.

(panting heavily)

Try to breathe this out.

We're gonna be at the hospital within a half an hour, all right?

No, we're not going to have the baby at a hospital, Booth.

Yes, we are. We're having a baby in the hospital.

There's no argument anymore.

I'm not arguing!

We're not gonna make it to a hospital. Just pull over.

We're gonna make it. Pull over now!

Okay, okay!

Okay.

I'm pulling over. (groaning loudly)

Oh!

(panting)

(tires screech)

All right, stay right there.

Just don't move. Breathe.

Hey, you! Yes, I need a room.

May I help you?

I'm having a baby. No, we're having--

She's having a baby, I need a room.

No, no. No, no, no, no, no.

I'm sorry, no room.

I'm going to have to ask you to move on.

There is a hospital about ten miles down the road.

She's not gonna make it!

Sir, please, keep your voice down.

We are totally booked.

(panting heavily) This country's most important wine connoisseurs and sommeliers have paid $5,000 each for tonight's event.

(screams) BOOTH: Hear that?! Right?!

She gonna have the baby right there in a car if you don't get us a room right now. Is that what you want?

Try to see this from my perspective.

I have laid out $50,000 for this weekend, even purchased a case of '62 Margeaux.

If I have to refund their money, I'm done.

(groans loudly)

I'm about to push this baby out right now!

And if you don't find me a place to do that, I'm gonna get out of this car, squat down on the lawn, and have this baby right here!

She'll squat on the lawn. I...

Okay, okay, okay.

There is a lovely building around back that you can use.

Just-just down the drive.

Okay! There's no availability at the inn.

Can't believe this.

Okay, coming in.

(groaning)

There's no available...

Hurry up!

Right! Got you! Got--

Okay.

(Brennan groaning loudly, panting)

Shh, shh.

Okay, breathe.

All right?

I'm so sorry, Bones.

Why?

Look where we are, you know.

I should've been able to make it to the hospital.

It's not your fault.

This is a perfect place. This is a perfect place.

And children who grow up on farms develop far fewer allergies and...

(groaning): respiratory issues!

BOOTH: Right, okay.

(groaning loudly)

Okay. Yeah, and it's hard not to believe in a higher power when you've just been turned away from the inn, and you're about to give birth in a manger.

That doesn't make your mythology true, okay?

You're not gonna start with that again, are we? I really...

(groans loudly) What?

I want to push.

Right, push! Oh!

Okay, easy, easy, easy, easy.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Okay, all right.

Whoa, whoa! All right.

You're gonna push? Push one.

Push, Bones!

(yells)

That's it. There you go.

Good job.

(panting heavily)

There are some things that you just can't explain.

Why can't you just admit that there's a mystery to life, Bones?

Oh, oh!

(grunts)

You're doing good, you're doing good.

Okay, push, one more time.

(both yell)

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

(yells)

You're doing, you're doing great, okay?

Ready to push.

All right? You're really close.

I can see her head. Push!

You're doing great, Bones.

(yells)

Push! Push!

(straining)

(baby crying, Brennan laughing)

Okay.

Oh. Here.

All right, here.

All right.

Okay, yeah, easy.

There she is. Right there.

(laughing)

Hi.

Look at that.

Hey.

BRENNAN: Oh. Hi.

(crying)

BOOTH: Oh. It's all right.

There is a mystery to life.

(laughing)

Look at that.

Hi.

BOOTH: Would you just look at that.

BRENNAN: You're beautiful.

Wow. Hey.

It's your dad.

Look at us.

(laughing)

We're a family.

♪ ♪ ♪ The world's yours when you turn 18 ♪ ♪ And you feel like you could have anything ♪ ♪ Whichever way you go ♪ ♪ 'Cause it's a great big world and you're rolling down ♪ ♪ Rolling down... ♪

(door opens)

Bones, just be careful coming in.

(thud)

Someone here?

Stay there.

ALL: Surprise!

(cheering)

Oh, hey, look at that.

Hi. Hey, hey.

Let me see her.

Oh, wait! Don't move.

Wash your hands first.

Actually, the more exposure she has to germs in her formative years, the stronger her immune system will be.

Here you go.

A little sanitizer never hurt.

Right? Just remember that.

Oh, she is beautiful.

I know.

Oh, Lance, we need to make one of those.

We'll, uh, talk.

HODGINS: Wow.

Worthy of a manger.

Uh, and we brought you dinners for the next few nights.

MONTENEGRO: And we got some diapers and some towels, because they do like to spit up.

A lot.

SAROYAN: And some champagne, because you can drink it now. (laughs)

(chuckles)

BOOTH: Look at that.

Champagne, huh, Bones?

What is that?

"Welcome Stapes"?

(chuckles)

It's the smallest bone in the human body.

Well, we didn't know her name, so...

Thanks.

She's so lucky to have all of you.

(fussing)

BOOTH: Ah, she's up.

So what is her name?

We named her after Bones's mom.

Christine.

Our daughter's name is Christine.

(chuckles)

Oh...

Christine Angela.

Oh, my God.

♪ Hm, hm, hm, mm, mm, mm ♪

To Christine Angela.

Welcome home.

(all chuckling, chattering)

♪ Hm, hm, hm, mm, mm, mm ♪ ♪ Life is too far to walk alone ♪ ♪ You can't do it on your own ♪ ♪ It's like bare hands dig into stone ♪ ♪ And if things go down the steeper hills ♪ ♪ Even money won't pay these bills ♪ ♪ But time will show ♪ ♪ That people are gonna be okay ♪ ♪ Storms never come to stay ♪ ♪ That just shows how badly we need each other ♪ ♪ How badly we need each other ♪ ♪ And the trials every day ♪ ♪ There are signs along the way ♪ ♪ That remind us how badly we need each other ♪ ♪ How badly we need each other... ♪