The Commitment Determination


 * (Sheldon and Amy making out on the couch)
 * Amy: Can you believe it’s been five years since our first date?
 * Sheldon: I know. Do you think I should start watching "The Flash" TV show?
 * Amy: That’s what you’re thinking about?
 * Sheldon: Well, one of the things.
 * Amy: Are any of them me?
 * Sheldon: Yes. I thought, “I can’t decide if I should watch the Flash TV show. I know, I’ll ask Amy.” Anyway..
 * (Tries to kiss Amy).
 * Amy: What are you doing?
 * Sheldon: You’re right, you did kind of kill the mood.
 * Amy: I didn't kill anything. You did, talking about your stupid TV show.
 * Sheldon: Excuse me. Starting to watch a television show that might run for years isn't a decision you take lightly. I’m wrestling with a big commitment issue here.
 * Amy: Really? That’s the commitment issue you’re wrestling with? Sheldon, do you understand the irony of your fixation on a man with super speed, while after five years, all I can get out of you is a distracted make-out session on a couch?
 * Sheldon: Irony’s not really my strong suit. But I have been getting better with sarcasm, if you want to give that a try.
 * Amy: (sarcastically) “Oh, sure, I’d love to.”
 * Sheldon: Whenever you’re ready.


 * Emily: If I stick a light bulb on this, wouldn't it make a great lamp for my bedroom?
 * Raj: You’re kidding, right?
 * Emily: Oh, is this freaking you out?
 * Raj: No, I guess I’m more of a Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel kind of guy. Maybe Pier 1 if I really want to cut loose.
 * Emily: All right. Never mind.
 * Raj: No, no, no. Hey, you should totally get it. In fact, I’ll buy it for you.
 * Stuart: (enthusiastically) SOLD!
 * Emily: Raj, you don’t have to do that.
 * Stuart: Too late. No returns!


 * Leonard: That was really intense.
 * Penny: Well, now we know. Next time we go to the farmer’s market, the order is petting zoo first, then buy vegetables.


 * Sheldon: Amy’s mad at me and I’m not clear why.
 * Penny: Okay. Were you talking before she got upset?
 * Sheldon: Yes.
 * Penny: That’s probably it.


 * (The scene at the Wolowitz kitchen where Bernadette is angrily stirring meat loaf stew in a saucepan while Howard and Raj are setting the table)
 * Raj: You guys ever notice that Emily has a bit of a twisted side?
 * Bernadette: (she's asking Raj crossly) You mean ’cause she has weird tattoos?
 * Raj: No, because she wants to have sex with me in a graveyard.
 * (Bernadette silently opens her mouth crossly and Raj looks at Howard).
 * Howard: (he's asking Raj with soft excitement) One more time?
 * Raj: She and I were supposed to watch the new Avengers movie tonight, but it was sold out. So I said, what else do you want to do? She said, let’s go to a cemetery and do it on somebody’s grave.
 * Howard: Like, a random person or somebody she knew?
 * Raj: What difference does it make?
 * Howard: Well, if it’s her father’s grave and they didn’t get along, then you know she holds a grudge.
 * Bernadette: (through her smile of fury) The only issue is that everybody has their own thing, and as long as it’s two consenting adults, I guess I don’t see the harm in it.
 * Raj: Well, what if it’s one consenting adult and one adult who pretends to consent because he’s afraid of being alone?
 * (Bernadette continues stirring the meat loaf stew with a little angry frown)
 * Bernadette: (snaps at him with double fury) Well, then I guess bring a blanket. The grass gets damp at night.
 * (Raj is sad while Howard has a shifty smile at Raj whilst he is dressing the salad)
 * Raj: I don’t know, guys. Maybe this relationship isn’t for me. (sits down) Maybe I should break up with her.
 * Howard: (chuckles) Right. You’re gonna break up with a girl who has sex with you. Can you believe this guy?
 * (Bernadette now strides up to her husband in small fury)
 * Bernadette: (she's still a tiny bit cross) I think if Raj wants to break up with a girl, he can do it.
 * Howard: (in a muttering voice) How are you saying that with a straight face?
 * Bernadette: (laughs loudly) I don’t know.
 * Raj: You guys are being jerks.
 * Howard: (sits down and puts the salad on the table) Buddy, other than Jenny Craig, you’ve never broken up with a girl in your life.
 * Raj: You’re one to talk. You’ve been complaining about Stuart living here for the past year. I don’t see you showing him the door.
 * Howard: That’s not the same thing. Emily’s a person. Stuart’s more like an infestation, something you spray for.
 * Raj: Baloney, okay? You two are as afraid of hurting someone’s feelings as I am.
 * Bernadette: (with an extremely cross smile) That’s not true. We were just laughing right in your face.
 * (She touches Raj's shoulder for a second and exits the kitchen).


 * Penny: Okay, I don’t think she’s wrong about you going too slow in the relationship.
 * Sheldon: Too slow?
 * Penny: Yeah, you've been going out for years. You haven’t even slept together.
 * Sheldon: That’s right. It’s called foreplay. And I could make the case that you two aren't moving forward in your relationship.
 * Penny: Uh, hello. (Waves hand with ring).
 * Sheldon: Hello. (Waves his hand in a similar fashion)
 * Penny: No, Sheldon. We’re getting married.
 * Sheldon: But, you've been engaged for over a year now and you don’t even have a wedding date.
 * Penny: Well, we will. We're just not in a rush.
 * Sheldon: Okay.
 * Leonard: We’re gonna set a date.
 * Sheldon: Okay, if you say so.
 * Penny: Good.
 * Leonard: Really good.
 * Penny: I’m focusing on my job.
 * Leonard: And weave been busy with our paper.
 * Penny: So busy.
 * Leonard: Yeah, we’ll pick a date when we pick a date.
 * Sheldon: Okay.
 * Penny: You know, I can see why Amy’s mad at you.
 * Leonard: Yeah, shut up, Sheldon.


 * (The scene of a fierce Bernadette entering the lounge of the Wolowitz house while Howard is sitting on the couch with his laptop)
 * Bernadette: (she's asking Howard crossly) Did you eat all my yogurt?
 * Howard: (he's asking Bernadette rather shiftily) You mean the one that makes ladies do the thing that ladies pretend they don’t do even though they do?
 * (Bernadette is so very cross indeed with Howard's jokey question)
 * Bernadette: (she speaks with a huge angry whisper) You know which yogurt I mean.
 * Howard: (quietly and shiftily) I didn’t touch it. Must have been Stuart.
 * (Bernadette sighs angrily)
 * Bernadette: (she's extremely upset) Maybe Raj is right. Maybe it’s time we tell him he needs to move out.
 * (She slides down on the couch with extreme sadness)
 * Howard: We should have done it months ago.
 * Bernadette: (she is still very cross) I know, but his store was reopening, and then there were the holidays, and then he was sick.
 * Howard: Yeah, right. Sick. (He slams his laptop lid down with anger) He didn’t have jaundice. He just looks like that.
 * (Bernadette puts on angry smile, Howard rubs his hands on the top of his legs and then he rubs his nose with them and outs them down the top of his legs and starts thinking seriously to himself)
 * Bernadette: (she is still really sad and cross) All right, tonight’s the night.
 * Howard: Agreed. When he gets home, I’m dropping the hammer.
 * Bernadette: (she rubs his leg with joy) Oh, I like it when you take charge.
 * Howard: Oh, I’m not taking charge. You’re the hammer.
 * (Bernadette now says nothing and continues smiling with ginormous anger at what Howard had said)


 * Leonard: So, why haven’t we set a date?
 * Penny: You know why.
 * Leonard: Well, of course I know why. But just for fun…why?
 * Penny: Not in a rush, busy with work…
 * Sheldon: Things are good right now.
 * Penny: Really good.
 * Leonard: You still want to get married, right?
 * Penny: Oh my God, yes. Why would you even ask that?
 * Leonard: I don’t know. Because we don’t have a date?
 * Penny: Well, you want a date. Pick a date.
 * Leonard: It’s not just the date. We haven’t talk about anything. Big wedding, small wedding, indoor, outdoor…
 * Sheldon: Outdoor? I can RSVP “no” right now.
 * Penny: Indoor it is. Big or small?
 * Leonard: Is your Dad paying for it?
 * Penny: I doubt it.
 * Leonard: Okay, two friends each.
 * Penny: All right, well I want it in a church.
 * Leonard: Fine. I want black tie.
 * Penny: Fine. I want to release butterflies.
 * Sheldon: Seriously? Airborne worms?
 * Leonard: Okay. Well, then it’s settled. Small indoor church wedding, black-tie, no butterflies.
 * Penny: Sounds perfect.
 * Leonard: Great.
 * Sheldon: You still didn't pick a date.
 * Penny: Stay out of it.
 * Leonard: Shut up.


 * Emily: Mmm. It’s a beautiful night.
 * Raj: Oh yes, we've got the moon and the trees and… Elizabeth McNulty, who apparently died when she was the same age I am.
 * Emily: Makes you feel alive, doesn't it?
 * Raj: So does enjoying a meal at a well-lit restaurant, but here we are.
 * Emily: You aren't scared, are you?
 * Raj: Of ghosts, no. Of you, a little bit.


 * Sheldon: Well, look at that. Even when I’m causing problems, I make the world a better place. Hey, next why don’t we tackle your penchant for whining and Penny’s love for the old glug-glug.


 * Penny: Why is everyone so concerned with us setting a date? We’re committed to each other. We’re happy. A ceremony isn't gonna change anything.
 * Sheldon: So you’re never getting married? It’s his whining, isn't it?
 * Leonard: Sheldon, I’m not a whiner.
 * Sheldon: It’s amusing he doesn't hear it.
 * Leonard: Look, all she’s saying is that we are in love. So it doesn't matter if we’re getting married tomorrow or a year from now or fifty years from now.
 * Penny: Ew, 50? We’ll be old and gross.
 * Leonard: Yeah, but we'll be old and gross together


 * Penny: (she is at looking at Leonard lovingly) Um, I’m free tonight.
 * Leonard: Are you saying you want to get married?
 * Penny: Vegas isn't that far away.
 * Leonard: I’m in. Let’s do it.
 * Penny: (Penny squeals)
 * Sheldon: After all these years. I’m really happy for the two of you.
 * Penny: Aw, thank you.
 * Leonard: Thanks.
 * Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.


 * (The scene at the Wolowitz house of Howard shutting the drape and turning to his wife).
 * Howard: Bernie, Stuart just pulled up.
 * (Howard now tells his wife his plan)
 * Howard: So remember, the key is to be firm. Show no weakness.
 * Bernadette: (she is mega-fully sad) Right.
 * Howard: Good luck.
 * (Howard runs up the stairs and Bernadette now gets extremely angry).
 * Bernadette: (she yells to him with gigantic anger) Howard Joel Wolowitz, you get back here.
 * (Howard now turns back down the stairs in fury)
 * Howard: (he mutters with anger) Never should have told you my middle name.
 * (Stuart arrives excitingly)
 * Stuart: Hey, guys.
 * Howard: Hey, you got a minute?
 * (Stuart strides to the kitchen with his bag of goodies)
 * Stuart: Sure. Uh, let me just put this stuff in the fridge. I felt bad for finishing your yoghurt, so I bought more. And, Howard, your favorite fruit is in season. (he takes out a packet of cereal and shakes it to Howard) Crunch Berries.
 * (Stuart exits to the kitchen, Howard storms down onto the couch and Bernadette suddenly tells Howard off).
 * Bernadette: (she is still completely cross) Don’t let that sway you.
 * Howard: It’s hard not to. They taste so much better than real berries.
 * (Stuart returns to the lounge)
 * Stuart: What’s up?
 * Bernadette: (with a smile of firmness) So, we need to talk.
 * (The graveyard scene of Emily kissing Raj).
 * Emily: (concerned) You okay?
 * Raj: I think we should talk.
 * (Emily gets more worried. Pan to the scene at the lounge of Wolowitz house of Stuart asking a happy question).
 * Stuart: Is everything okay?
 * (Howard just had a quiet nod and Bernadette tells Stuart her speech)
 * Bernadette: Well, you’ve been living here a while now.
 * Stuart: I know. I may sell comic books at work, but the real superheroes are sitting right in front of me.
 * (Howard struggles with feeling proud by Stuart's remark and Bernadette now smiles proudly by this)
 * Bernadette: (happily) Yeah.
 * (Howard now has a smile of quick excitement)
 * Howard: His middle name is David. Go.
 * (Bernadette and Stuart now smile sweetly at each other. Now comes the graveyard scene of Howard holding Emily's hands while he talks to her)
 * Raj: (sadly) Look, I care about you a lot, but we are very different people.
 * Emily: (asking Raj crossly) Are you breaking up with me?
 * (Raj looks at Emily for a couple of seconds)
 * Raj: No, no, I’m just pointing out that you’re dark on the inside and I’m dark on the outside.
 * (Raj thinks for a bit and the scene pans back to the lounge of the Wolowitz house)
 * Bernadette: (informing Stuart sadly) So, anyway, what I’m trying to say is…
 * (Stuart's phone rings)
 * Howard: (informing Stuart) You need to take that?
 * Stuart: It’s just my dad, probably calling to wish me a happy birthday.
 * (Howard and Bernadette look crossly at each other for one second)
 * Stuart: I’ll call him back.
 * (He then claps his hands and asks Howard and Bernadette a quick question)
 * Stuart: You were saying?
 * (Both Bernadette and Howard are silently cross and they both say nothing. It now pans to the last graveyard scene where Emily is still very angry with Raj)
 * Emily: (sad with double anger) Look, Raj. Be honest with me. If you want to end things, just do it. Don’t expect me to do it for you.
 * (Raj thinks for a couple of second and she now tells he the truth)
 * Raj: End things? I’m trying to tell you that I love you.
 * (He starts kissing her again and the scene finally pans to the cupcake and candle scene in the lounge of the Wolowitz house)
 * Howard and Bernadette: (singing slowly to Stuart): Happy birthday to you.
 * (Stuart quickly blows out the candle, he twists himself while he looks up at Howard and Bernadette for a few seconds and both Bernadette and Howard now have quiet 'here we go again with Stuart not leaving us' expressions on their faces).


 * (The scene of Leonard driving Penny to Vegas)
 * Penny: Wow, there’s a Denny’s in Vegas you can actually get married in.
 * Leonard: Doesn't sound very romantic.
 * Penny: Yeah, but we could get heart shaped pancakes.
 * Leonard: I’m sure we’ll find a decent chapel.
 * Penny: Yeah. This is crazy!
 * Leonard: I know! Do you think that people will be mad?
 * Penny: Maybe. But this isn't about them; it’s about us.
 * Leonard: It is. It is about us.
 * Penny: And you know what the best part is? We took our time. I mean, we met, we were friends for a couple of years, then we got together, and then we got untogether, then we worked out all our problems, and now we know everything about each other, we can just go forward with no surprises and no regrets.
 * Leonard: Right. No surprises.
 * Penny: And no regrets.
 * Leonard: Uh, well there’s one thing I feel I should tell you.
 * Penny: What?
 * Leonard: You know, so we can go into this with no secrets between us.
 * Penny: What?
 * Leonard: Remember, uh, a couple years back when I was on that research ship on the North Sea?
 * Penny: Yeah.
 * Leonard: Okay, well, there-there was a lot of drinking and craziness going on..
 * Penny: No, you told me.
 * Leonard: Okay, um.. Well, there was this girl.
 * Penny: What did you do?
 * Leonard: Nothing, really. It was just kissing.
 * Penny: And then what?
 * Leonard: And then nothing. I stopped it. But it still bothers me…I wanted you to know.
 * Penny: All right.
 * Leonard: Did you ever do anything like this since we've been…
 * Penny: Nope, never.
 * Leonard: Oh, that’s too bad.
 * Penny: You know, can I ask you a question?
 * Leonard: Hmm?
 * Penny: Why are you telling me this now?
 * Leonard: Well, like I said, we’re about to get married and I want a clean slate. No secrets.
 * Penny: Really? Because to me, it’s seems like since we’re about to get married, and you’re trying to sabotage it.
 * Leonard: Would you rather I didn't tell you?
 * Penny: No, I don’t want there to be secrets between us.
 * Leonard: See, now I’m confused. I mean. What-what am I supposed to do?
 * Penny: Um, keep your mouth off other women.
 * Leonard: I can do that. Uh, uh, from now on this mouth, you and food, that’s it.
 * Penny: Okay.
 * Leonard: Yeah?
 * Penny: Look. Like I’m not happy this happened, but I think I can get past it. I mean, we weren't engaged at the time, and it was just kissing.
 * Leonard: Right.
 * Penny: Just kissing.
 * Leonard: It wasn't even very good. She was a smoker. I’d just been seasick…
 * Penny: Okay. That’s enough. Stop talking.
 * Leonard: So…we’re still getting married.
 * Penny: Yes.
 * Leonard: Because we love each other.
 * Penny: Yes.
 * Leonard: And today is the happiest day of our lives.
 * Penny: (Laughs) Don’t push it.


 * Amy: (On Skype) Hello.
 * Sheldon: Hello. Listen, I've been thinking a lot about relationships and how difficult they can be and I think...
 * Amy: I've been thinking about them, too, Sheldon. Being your girlfriend is so challenging. Emotionally, physically, I've been incredibly patient for years.
 * Sheldon: Strongly disagree. Go on.
 * Amy: Okay, well…this isn't easy to say because I love you, but…I need some time to take a step back and reevaluate our situation.
 * Sheldon: Oh.
 * Amy: I hope you understand.
 * Sheldon: Okay.
 * Amy: Bye, Sheldon. (Amy signs off)
 * Sheldon: (Turning to the Gollum statue on his desk). Well, Gollum. You’re an expert on rings. What do I do with this one? (Takes an engagement ring out of his desk).