Temporary Insanity

AH-CHOO! MR. PLOTZ, I'M SICK, SIR. I'M GOING HOME. HOME? BUT--BUT-- BUT WHO'LL DO ALL MY IMPORTANT LITTLE EXECUTIVE THINGS? HE'S THE PHONE NUMBER FOR A TEMP AGENCY. THEY'LL SEND SOMEONE OVER. CALL THEM? ON THE PHONE? WITH ALL THOSE NUMBERS AND BUTTONS? BUT I-- AH-CHOO! I'M SORRY, SIR. GOODBYE, SIR. [MUTTERING] 5. SO I PRESS THIS 5. IS THAT IT? NO. WAIT. 4. DO I PRESS THIS 4? OH, I CAN' DO THIS BY MYSELF. [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] I'LL GET IT! I'LL GET IT! I'LL GET IT! LET ME GET IT! I WANT TO GET IT! ALL RIGHT. NOBODY GETS IT. FINE. FINE. [RING RING RING] I'LL GET IT! LOOK! THE HORROR! WHAT? WHAT? HELLO, NURSE. I NEVER GET TO GET IT. MAY I HELP YOU? OH, THANK HEAVEN. FINALLY. THIS IS THE CEO OF WARNER BROS. I NEED HELP OVER HERE BECAUSE-- WHO IS THIS? IT'S ME--YAKKO. DON'T WORRY, T. P. WE'LL BE RIGHT OVER. I DIALED THE WRONG NUMBER. STAY AWAY FROM ME, DO YOU HEAR? HELLO! HELLO! OH, MY. WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHERE'S MY ASPIRIN? REPORTING FOR WORK, SIR. GET BACK IN YOUR TOWER. YOU NEEDED US TO BE SCELECATARIES. NEVER! AND GIVE ME BACK MY PAPERWEIGHT. O. K. BUT YOU HAVE TO WAIT A WHILE. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. EWW! [RING] THE PHONE. [RING] [RING] [RING] HELLO. HELLO. I SAID HELLO! HELLO! OH, HOW DOES THIS WORK? I'LL GET IT! I'LL GET IT! LOOK! WAYNE NEWTON! WHERE? [RING] MR. PLOTZ' OFFICE. MAY I HELP YOU? I NEVER GET TO GET IT. YES, MR. COSTNER. THURSDAY AT 2 IS FINE. YES. UH-HUH. OKEY-DOKEY. YOU BET. OH, ISN'T THAT SWEET? O. K. YOU BET. UH-HUH. BYE-BYE. WELL, I GUESS IT WOULDN'T HUR FOR YOU TO STAY THE DAY TO HELP OUT. YOU'LL NEVER LIVE TO REGRET IT. HEAVEN HELP ME. STILL HOLDING, MR. SCHWARZENEGGER? O. K. OH, I'D LOVE THAT RECIPE. AREN'T YOU A DOLL? STAY ON THE LINE. STILL THERE, MR. EASTWOOD? PLEASE HOLD. MR. KATZENBERG? YOU'LL BE HOLDING. MISS PFEIFFER, HOLD. MISS FONDA, TAKE A BIG BREATH AND HOLD. WHEW. WHY IS EVERYBODY ON HOLD? 'CAUSE MR. PLOTZ IS VERY BUSY. MY HEAVENS, IT'S A SLOW DAY. I HAVEN' GOTTEN ANY CALLS. [KNOCK KNOCK] COME IN. HELLO. AAH! DON'T DO THAT! I'M SORRY, T. P. THESE THINGS NEED YOUR SIGNATURE. OH, GOODIE. I LIKE DOING THAT. SIGN HERE HERE, HERE, AND HERE. BY THE WAY, WHAT AM I SIGNING? A LITTLE OF THAT, A LITTLE OF THIS. MOSTLY THIS. MR. SINATRA, HOLD. MR. REDFORD, HOLDME. MR. PRESIDENT, GET TO WORK. HELLO, MEL! I'D LIKE TO SEE MR. PLOTZ. HE'S BUSY. LET'S TALK ABOUT US. WHY DON'T I, UH, JUST WAIT. NO! LET'S STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER! HE TOUCHED ME. [GASP] DIDN'T I MEET YOU ON A SUMMER CRUISE? I'VE NEVER BEEN ON ONE. WANT TO? I HAVE TICKETS. HA HA. ON SECOND THOUGHT, I'LL JUST CALL. I'M GOING TO MARRY THAT MAN. HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE. SORRY. I GO CARRIED AWAY. WHAT HAPPENED? WE'RE RICH! WE'RE POOR! WAKKO, MAKE COPIES. YAKKO, TYPE THIS MEMO. DOT, FILE THESE. WELL, GET TO WORK! [CRACK] [IMITATING TYPEWRITER] [DING] [DING] [DING DING] [DING DING DING] [DING DING DING DING] [DING] [DING DING] [DING] [DING DING] [DING DING DING] [DING DING DING DING] [DING] I'M DONE. I'M DONE. ME, TOO. [RING] I'LL GET IT! I'LL GET IT! [RING] LOOK! IT'S A BIG FAT FANNY! HELLO, NURSE! HOLD, PLEASE. I NEVER GET TO GET IT! WAKKO, COME IN MY OFFICE. PPLLBBT! SIT DOWN. TAKE A LETTER. WHERE TO? NO. I WANT YOU TO WRITE A LETTER. O. K. DEAR SANTA, I'VE BEEN SO GOOD THIS YEAR. I'D LIKE A NEW MALLE AND A BRASS ANVIL. NO, NO, NO, NO! WRITE A LETTER FOR ME! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS. DOT, GET IN HERE. I NEED TO DICTATE A LETTER. JUST A MOMENT, MR. PLOTZ. IN CONCLUSION, IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT THIS MOVIE BE BROUGHT IN UNDER BUDGE AND ON TIME. SINCERELY, THADDEUS PLOTZ. DOT, READ THAT BACK. READ WHAT BACK? THE LETTER I DICTATED. WHAT LETTER? I'M SORRY. WERE YOU SAYING SOMETHING? OUT! YAKKO, CAN YOU TAKE DICTATION? SURE, BOSS. FINALLY. TAKE IT WHERE? AAH! WHY, YOU-- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. TAKE IT EASY, THAD. WHO SCREAMED? HE DID. HE BLEW. GET OUT OF MY LIFE! [TELEPHONE RINGS] I'LL GET IT! I'LL GET IT! [RING] [RING] AHA! [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] [RING] STOP! TIME OUT. WHEN WILL THIS INSANITY END? WHEN ONE OF US ANSWERS THE PHONE, SILLY. I DID NOT KNOW THAT. TIME IN. [RING] [RING] I'LL GET IT. HELLO. UH-HUH. UH-HUH. O. K. BYE-BYE. THAT WAS YOUR SCELECATARY. SHE'S STILL SICK. YOU GET US FOR ONE MORE DAY.

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