Walking Dead Lobster

[start scene]

[Kim Possible is seen incising a hole through a ceiling window in Kim Jong-un's palace, followed by her placing a rope down and sliding on it.]

Kim Possible: If I don't steal North Korea's nuclear launch codes, it could mean World War III.

[a cage falls down on Kim Possible, and she exclaims about it]

[Kim Jong-un walks out of the bathroom to notice his bounty]

Kim Jong-un: Well, well, well, have I caught the great Kim Possible? Or am I just... "kim-agining" things? [kim-agining = imagining]

Kim Possible: Kim Jong-un, war is not the answer.

Kim Jong-un: How do you like my security system? I've made certain... "kim-provements." [kim-provements = improvements]

[floor opens up underneath Kim Possible, and a hungry alligator comes out of the hole, hungry for Kim Possible, but she hangs on to the bars of her cage]

Kim Possible: You're a madman!

Kim Jong-un: You are "kim-prisoned." [kim-prisoned = imprisoned]

Kim Possible: Stop mocking my name!

Kim Jong-un: "Kim-itation" is the sincerest form of flattery. [kim-itation = imitation]

Kim Possible: Okay, Kim, so where's your "kim-aginary" wife? [kim-aginary = imaginary]

Kim Jong-un: She's uh... on vacation, "kim-becile." [kim-becile = imbecile]

Kim Possible: More like you're "kim-potent." [kim-potent = impotent]

Kim Jong-un: That's a lie! It's "kim-mense!" [kim-mense = immense]

Kim Possible: You're so "kim-mature." [kim-mature = immature]

Kim Jong-un: My wife's real, not like your "kim-plants!" [kim-plants = implants]

Kim Possible: What are you "kim-plying?!" [kim-plying = implying]

[cut to inside the alligator pit]

Kim Jong-un: Natural breasts don't form a perfect right angle.

Alligator #1: Geez, these two should just bang and get it over with!

Alligator #2: Yeah, he's a "kim-pregnator." [kim-pregnator = impregnator]

Alligator #1: You are dead to me, David.

[end scene]

You can take my life, but you can never improve my shitty audio quality! Yaaaaaaah! This is George. He's a monkey in Africa. He's very curious. One day, a man in a yellow hat came along. George accidentally scratched the man in the yellow hat. But George gave the man such an adorable sorry face, he decided to take George to live with him in New York City! The man in the yellow hat was feeling sick, so George went out to explore by himself. George was so curious. He put his mouth on everything! After a few days, George thought he saw the man in the yellow hat, but it was a different man in yellow. Then George saw the biggest bird he'd ever seen. And then it took a poop Oh, my God! George, run! George, stop being curious for one freakin' minute! Take cover! You ever played roulette? Occasionally. Well, let me give you a word of advice Always bet on black! And when black wins, pay your taxes. Always pay your taxes. Don't burn through your retirement savings too fast, Frank! Oh, I'm set for life. Oh. 401 K? Mutual funds? I. R. A? Nah, those are for suckers. I played it smart. Real smart. Angie! We're gonna be cruising to Applebee's in matching Humvees! This shelf here should buy a Gulfstream! Is this a joke? These are toys. These are Beanie Babies! Have you been living under a rock? I know what Beanie Babies are. By 1999, they were worthless. I really should have checked the value more than once every 16 years. Where you going? To live with my sister's family, and on the way, get an application to be a Walmart greeter. Spare a quarter. Damn, y'all! Is that a fur coat made out of Beanie Babies? Yeah. Them things is like gold! At least the last time I checked. You must be the richest pimp in town! Pimp? No! No, no, no, I That's right, baby. I'm the richest pimp in town! Mess with my hoes, will you?! Damn straight you won't! Come here! Nah, nah, nah! This is my block, motherfucker. Oh, hell no! Aah-ha! I just flew into the Caribbean on my very own Gulfstream jet. This is the retirement I always dreamed of! Thank you, Beanie Babies! Oh, baby. Um, son, did you pay for those Fritos? Aah! Fuckin' Frank! Enjoying your night with Ariel? Maybe you want to show your appreciation to the house? Why do you deserve a tip? Oh? You think a swamp is naturally romantic? You owe me and my team a little taste for setting the mood! No way. If anything, you are cock blocking me right now. Ohh! Ow! No, no, no! I'm just a crab who cuts fools. You a fool, Eric? Pick him up at Isengard?! That's a three-hour flight! He thought you'd say that. He said, "You're a bird. You can sit in your nest and do nothing some other day. " What?! Oh, what an asshole. Hey, hate to do this, but he wants you to pick up food on the way. "Just something quick," he said. Something quick? What, does he think I'm gonna stumble upon a fuckin' Arby's? Durin stew is 10 farthings. When I asked about money, he was like, "Uh I don't think I" Aah! Do not trifle with the power of the ring! There is only one Lord of the Ring, and he does not share power. Aah! Damn it, Gandalf! I think you ruptured a disc! We must fly to Rivendell on the quick! Screw Rivendell! I'm gonna go see my chiropractor! Could you stop at an Arby's on the way? And now back to "Gullah Gullah Island"! This sure is fun, Binyah Binyah! Binyah Binyah have fun, too! I'll get it! Hello, sir. We're investigating a tip. A criminal might be in the area. He's robbed a bank and shot three policemen. Oh, no! Well, there's nobody here but me, my wife, our three children, and our man-sized pet polliwog. Binyah Binyah! Yeah, no, no, no. That's a man in a frog suit. What? No! He's just the giant polliwog we rescued! Where did you find him? Oh, behind an amphibious-animal costume shop! I'm gonna need him out of that frog suit by the count of three. One - Binyah Binyah! two Binyah Binyah! three. Aah! No! Don't shoot! Down on the ground, frog man! What's on his skin?! Sores, you dumbass! From wearing a polliwog costume for four months straight! Binyah Binyah! Binyah Binyah! Ohh! Oh, no. Oh Ah ah Ah-choo! Eugene! I am a Time Lord. I need you to be my companion on a grand adventure. I've waited my whole life for something this cool to happen! Well, then, step into my Tardis. It's an acronym that stands for No way! The Tardis from "Doctor Who"! I've never seen the show, but I feel like I've absorbed the gist of it through nerd osmosis! the fabric of time itself! Eugene? You look different. Well, come on, then! Yaaaaaay! Cooooool! It's much bigger on the inside than the outside. I bet that's mind-blowing for you. Uh, not really. Snoopy's doghouse does the same thing. I bet Snoopy's doghouse can't fly. You clearly don't know dick about Snoopy. Smells kind of rank in here. You ever think about opening a window? No! Don't! You almost killed us both! It's kind of a design flaw. Snoopy would not approve. Shut up about Snoopy! Wow! This soundstage is amazing! An easy mistake to make, given your limited experience. This is the City of Flurr jazz. These costumes are cool considering they probably cost a dollar! I mean, a pound, or a ha' penny. I don't know British money. They are not costumes. They are clothes. How much did your clothes cost? Half a penny. Ha ha! Knew it. Where are we going next? Our mission is here on Flurr jazz! You see, on this planet, people express joy as fear! This is less cool than I thought. It's a parable for how Earth people have too much stress in their lives! A Dalek! My greatest arch-enemy! Okay, Bollocks to this. It came back! Yeah, it's all yours. Go for it. My adventure finally begins! No, thanks. I know. Right? By the way, I really need to apologize Hey, kids! Whoever gets the high score on "Starfighter" gets to fly to outer space with me! Aaaaah! Ba-gawk! Bawk. Stupid monkey!