Mr. Nonsense's Strange Illness




 * Little Miss Scatterbrain: I wonder what's going on? There's nobody in the streets today. [Little Miss Late runs past her.] Hmm? Miss Late, why are you running so fast?
 * Little Miss Late: [Stops running and starts panting] Oh dear. Oh dear, Miss Scatterbrain. I'm late. I'm late for the Nonsenseland competition, and it's about to begin.
 * Little Miss Scatterbrain: Nonsenseland competition? [Gasps] My goodness. I have completely forgotten. That's the one for the most nonsensical idea. Who do you think will win?
 * Little Miss Late: Oh... Mr. Nonsense as usual.


 * Narrator: Meanwhile in Nonsenseland, Mr. Nonsense was playing cards with his two best friends, Little Miss Dotty and Mr. Silly.
 * [Cards come raining down from the ceiling.]
 * Nr. Nonsense: It's your turn, Miss Dotty.
 * Little Miss Dotty: [Tossing the cards in the air] Yip-pee!
 * [The cards make a tower on the floor.]
 * Nr. Nonsense: It's your turn, Mr. Silly.
 * Mr. Silly: [Tossing the cards in the air] Ye-hay!
 * [They laugh as his cards stick to the ceiling.]
 * Nr. Nonsense: My friends, we still have an hour before the Nonsenseland competition begins.
 * Little Miss Dotty: How about a game of tennis.


 * [Mr. Nonsense, Little Miss Dotty, Mr. Silly and a pig are at the tennis court holding a racquet each. Nr. Nonsense serves the ball. The game keeps going until suddenly, the ball hits Mr. Nonsense's head. He falls to the ground and drops his racquet. The rest of his friends gather round and check on him.]
 * Mr. Silly: Hey, Mr. Nonsense? Yoohoo, Mr Nonsense?
 * Little Miss Dotty: I'm so sorry. Mr. Nonsense, how do you feel?
 * [Mr. Nonsense gets up.]
 * Mr. Nonsense: Well, fine. Perfectly fine thank you very much.[Looking at the pig] What's he doing here? Pigs don't play tennis.
 * Mr. Silly: [Laughs] But Mr. Nonsense.
 * Little Miss Dotty: But Mr. Nonsense. This is Nonsenseland.
 * Mr. Nonsense: Nonsenseland? What on earth are you talking about? I am not Mr. Nonsense.
 * Little Miss Dotty: [Worried] Hmm?
 * Mr. Silly: You're not Mr. Nonsense? [Laughs] Why? That's utter nonsense.
 * Little Miss Dotty: [Starts crying] This is terrible. Poor Mr. Nonsense. He has lost his memory.


 * [The scene changes to the show. A character has a blue wire attached to a pair of wings. He pulls the wire and floats in the air, exciting the crowd.]
 * Narrator: Meanwhile the Nonsenseland competition have begun under the watchful eye of Little Miss Brainy the judge.
 * [Little Miss Brainy walks on stage. The crowd clap and cheer.]
 * Little Miss Brainy: Mr. Quiet. What is your nonsensical idea?
 * [Mr. Quiet brings onto the stage a radio wrapped under a blanket. He pulls the blanket off and switches on the radio.]
 * Mr. Quiet: [Quietly] It's a radio that makes no noise.
 * [The crowd clap and cheer. Mr. Quiet takes the radio and leaves the stage.]
 * Little Miss Brainy: Mr. Lazy?
 * [Mr. Lazy brings in an alarm clock.]
 * Mr. Lazy: [Tired] It's an alarm clock with no hands. [Yawns] So I don't have to wake up.


 * [Back outside, Little Miss Dotty and Mr. Silly guides Mr. Nonsense to his house.]
 * Mr. Silly: Mr. Nonsense.
 * Mr. Nonsense: [Angrily] I am not Mr. Nonsense!
 * Little Miss Dotty: No, Mr. er... Silly. Don't you recognise your own house?
 * Mr. Nonsense: My house? You must be joking. [The others gasp] Only birds live in trees.


 * Narrator: Meanwhile, contestants who hope to win the Nonsenseland competition continue to pile on stage.
 * [Mr. Bounce walks on stage holding an egg.]
 * Little Miss Brainy: Mr. Bounce?
 * [Mr. Bounce drops the egg. It bounces higher and higher in the air, impressing the crowd.]
 * Little Miss Brainy: We still have one last contestant, but I do not see him. Where is Mr. Nonsense?
 * [Suddenly, Mr. Nonsense is pushed onto the stage by Little Miss Dotty. The egg bounces again]
 * Little Miss Brainy: So what is your nonsensical idea, Mr. Nonsense?
 * Mr. Nonsense: But, but, I'm not Mr. Nonsense.
 * [The egg bounces again]
 * Little Miss Brainy: You are not Mr. Nonsense?
 * Mr. Nonsense: No. I am not Mr. Nonsense!
 * [The audience groan. Little Miss Brainy laughs out loud.]
 * Little Miss Brainy: That is the silliest idea I've heard all afternoon. Congratulations, Mr. Nonsense. You win this year's Nonsenseland hour.
 * [The crowd clap and cheer at Mr. Nonsense. The egg bounces up in the air and hits Mr. Nonsense on the head, falling on his back. The audience groan. Little Miss Dotty checks on him.]
 * Little Miss Dotty: Are you OK, Mr. Nonsense?
 * Mr. Nonsense: Er, yes thanks you, Miss Dotty. But I do feel a bit hungry.
 * Mr. Silly: [Laughs] What would you like to eat, Mr. Nonsense?
 * Mr. Nonsense: A toasted custard salad!
 * Little Miss Dotty: A toasted custard sandwich?
 * [She and Mr. Silly laugh. Applause sounds as the screen fades to black.]