Jasper, the Douchebag Ghost

(A ghost named Jasper floats up to a man)

Man Oh, hi there, Casper!

(Jasper pulls the guy's pants down, and the guy pulls them back up)

Jasper: (Laughs) Someone call UPS, there's a small package that needs to be delivered!

Man: I thought you were supposed to be a friendly ghost.

Jasper: Idiot! I'm his brother, Jasper, the Douchebag Ghost!

(A chorus sings Jasper's theme, with clips of Jasper playing rude jokes on people all the while)

Chorus: ''Jasper, the Douchebag Ghost, the douchiest ghost possessed! He'll call you names and act real mean until you feel depressed! He'll always say...''

[Jasper flips off the viewers]

Jasper: Fuck you!

[Jasper flashes the viewers his testicles]

Jasper and Chorus: "...and 'Lick my sack, you fairy!'"

Chorus: ''He's so damn crude and so damn rude! Jasper, the Douchebag Ghost!''

[At the end of the song, Jasper kicks away an old woman's walker. The old woman falls to the ground and dies. Jasper flies away. The scene then cuts to the woman's funeral]

Priest: We will all miss Annie, but she truly is in a better place.

(Jasper possesses Annie's corpse, and makes her stand up and climb out of the casket)

(Everyone gasps. She is approached by her grandson Herman)

Herman: Oh, Grandma, I'm so glad you're alive!

(Everyone sighs)

Jasper: (Fake voice) Herman, you were always my least favorite grandchild.

(Jasper then jumps out of Annie's body, which falls on top of Herman)

Jasper: Ha ha! Retards!

(Everyone starts jeering at Jasper)

Chorus: Jasper, the Douchebag Ghost!

Jasper: Lick my sack!