In Memoriam

[We start with executive producers Seth Green and Matthew Senreich sitting in their office and talking to us.]

Seth: Hi, I'm Robot Chicken executive producer, Seth Green.

Matthew: And I'm executive producer, Matthew Senreich.

Seth: As our third season draws to a close, we'd like to take a moment to remember those we've lost along the way.

''[A title card that says: "In Memoriam" shows up for a few seconds, and then we fade to a workshop where several people, including character fabricator Rob Ronning, are working on action figures. While working on one, Rob accidentally cuts his wrist with a knife, causing it to bleed uncontrollably. He and the other workers scream in terror, but the man next to him only looks puzzled and doesn't scream.]''

Rob: Oh, God!

''[Rob, groaning, slides off of his chair and another title card that says: "Rob Ronning, Co-Head of Character Fabrication, 1963-2008" fades in. After that, we cut to Jeff Gardner, the director of photography, at the top of a ladder and talking on his cellphone. Jeff tries to reach a wire, but he accidentally falls to the ground and hits the studio lights, causing one of them to collapse onto him, brutally electrocuting him. A group of people that are watching scream in fright, and Jeff groans from the pain. A few seconds later, a third card that says: "Jeff Gardner, Director of Photography, 1973-2008" shows up, and we fade back to Seth and Matthew, who both look confused.]''

Matthew: That's it? Only two?

Seth: Jeez, the Oscars always have a billion of those things.

[Matthew Ireland Beans, the producers' assistant, knocks at the door.]

Ireland: (coming into the office with a tray, with two smoothies from Jamba Juice on top of it) Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt, I've got your Jamba Juice!

''[Matthew and Seth, now having an idea, happily look at each other. Ireland's smile turns to confusion as Matthew jumps over to him. Then Matthew kicks Ireland in the groin, making him grasp it in pain and causing the tray to fly out of his hands. Ireland falls to his knees as Matthew grabs his neck. Ireland's hands move from his crotch to his neck, trying to loosen Matthew's grip. As he does this, Seth stabs Ireland in the stomach and his intestines leak out to the floor, causing him to grunt in shock. Then Seth slices Ireland's right cheek.]''

Ireland: (screams) My beautiful face!

''[Seth slices Ireland's left cheek; as this happens, the juices drop to the floor, spilling out of their cups. As Ireland lets out his final screams, a fourth title card that says: "Matthew Ireland Beans, Producers' Assistant, 1977-2008" briefly shows up; Matthew and Seth walk back to their chairs and sigh in relief from what they have just done.]''

Seth: Three's pretty good, right?

Matthew: Yeah, pretty good, but... (picks up a mallet) I think we can do better.

[Yet another title card that says: "Seth Green, Co-Executive Producer, 1974-2008" briefly fades in, making Seth shocked and angry.]

Seth: What the hell was that?!

Matthew: (whispers to the right) You brought the card up too early.

Seth: What, you think you're gonna fucking kill me?! (slaps Matthew on the cheek) Not if I fucking kill you!

[Matthew and Seth each grab a sword and start to fight with each other; Seth kicks Matthew through the office door.]

Seth: I am Robot Chicken!

[The next shot is of the main studio set, where a lot of the Robot Chicken staff members run away from the fighting men.]

Matthew: Ah! I am Robot Chicken!

Seth: Stupid partner!

[Seth, attempting to slice Matthew (who jumps out of the way), accidentally cuts art director Ross Shuman's stomach open, making it spew blood and his intestines spill out.]

Ross: Oh! Jesus, what the fuck?!

''[He succumbs to his injury, and a sixth title card that says: "Ross Shuman, Art Director, 1971-2008" appears on the screen. After that, we cut to Seth still fighting Matthew and accidentally slicing character animator Ethan A. Marak's neck open, also causing it bleed out of control. Ethan holds his neck to try and stop the bleeding, but is too weak from the massive blood loss.]''

Ethan: (screams in pain) Why?! No!

''[Ethan also succumbs to his injury, and a seventh title card that says: "Ethan A. Marak, Character Animator, 1972-2008" appears on the screen. The next scene shows more of the staff members screaming at the sight of Seth and Matthew fighting each other; Seth attempts to slice Matthew again, but accidentally chops co-character fabricator Rosa Tran's head off, making it bounce onto the floor in front of three staff members. At the sight of this, they run in panic and kick Rosa's head around on the floor. Then an eighth title card that says: "Rosa Tran, Co-Head of Character Fabrication, 1979-2008" shows up, and the two men continue to fight until they hear Adult Swim President Mike Lazzo's voice.]''

Mike: Yo, what in tarnation is all this commotion in this hen house?

[Seth and Matthew stop fighting and turn to see Mike, who has his arms folded at the sight of the murdered staff.]

Seth: Hey, everybody, it's Adult Swim President, Mike Lazzo!

Mike: Man, just look at all the dead folks lying around here like possums on the side of the road. Our insurance is gonna skyrocket, y'all!

Matthew: Wait; do you mean we're-?

Mike: Hell yeah, fellas! Robot Chicken is cancelled!

''[That word echoes, and a ninth title card that says: "Robot Chicken, Emmy Award Winning Animated Series, 2005-2008" appears on the screen. After that, Seth and Matthew get another idea, charge at Mike, and presumably kill him, as the sound of his screams and dripping blood can be heard. As they do this, a final title card that says: "Mike Lazzo, President of Adult Swim, 1958-2008" shows up on the screen, closing the third season of the show.]''