The Authority


 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm!
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm!
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm!
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm...

At The Hospital

 * What happened?
 * You are very lucky Mr. Watterson, it appears your skull is so thick you were able to survive a half a ton of tiles and a satellite dish falling on your head.
 * Is he going to be OK, doctor?
 * Apart from being living proof that we're doomed as a species, he's fine, I just need a signature from whoever is responsible for him.
 * Oh that would be me.
 * I don't think so!
 * That would be his mother.
 * Granny Jojo, what a pleasure.
 * I wish I could say the same but it seems I have no other choice but to move in and sort out your family which you are clearly incapable of taking care of.
 * Uh doctor, what's the cheapest object in this room?
 * Probably that.
 * That was still worth about 300 dollars.
 * Uh doctor, what's the cheapest object in this room?
 * Probably that.
 * That was still worth about 300 dollars.
 * That was still worth about 300 dollars.

Crossing The Road

 * So, Granny Jojo, why are you staying with us?
 * Because someone has to look after your safety, kid.
 * I think they're perfectly safe with me, now look left then right before you cross that road Gumball.
 * No you look right then left, that way you see the nearest car first.
 * But while you're looking left, something maybe coming from the other direction, look right again sweetie.
 * No, look left!
 * Look right.
 * Left!
 * Right!
 * LEFT!
 * RIGHT!
 * LEFT!
 * RIGHT!
 * LEFT!
 * RIGHT!
 * LEFTTTTTTT!
 * Now run, it's better to cross the road as quickly as possible.
 * No, you might trip and fall, just walk.
 * Oh don't worry Billy, its a really good hospital-AAHH
 * LEFTTTTTTT!
 * Now run, it's better to cross the road as quickly as possible.
 * No, you might trip and fall, just walk.
 * Oh don't worry Billy, its a really good hospital-AAHH
 * No, you might trip and fall, just walk.
 * Oh don't worry Billy, its a really good hospital-AAHH
 * Oh don't worry Billy, its a really good hospital-AAHH

Bad Mother

 * Dude, I think the board is supposed to jump as well.
 * See, this is exactly the kind of thing I was worried about.
 * How would you know, you're not even tall enough to look out the window!
 * I don't need to, I know how dangerous the world is.
 * Oh come on, he's wearing all the protective gear, what the worst that could happen?
 * Argh, you stupid board-
 * Oh my gosh, you're right, I'm a terrible mother.
 * Follow me.
 * Corner padding,
 * Socket covers.
 * Stair guard.
 * A good mother prevents the incident before it happens.
 * The worst part is that it's working.
 * I always thought I was a good mother...
 * But you're not, are you?
 * Maybe its because of stress or something-
 * Don't worry about it.
 * But they're my family, they need me!
 * They need me more.
 * A good mother prevents the incident before it happens.
 * The worst part is that it's working.
 * I always thought I was a good mother...
 * But you're not, are you?
 * Maybe its because of stress or something-
 * Don't worry about it.
 * But they're my family, they need me!
 * They need me more.
 * Don't worry about it.
 * But they're my family, they need me!
 * They need me more.

It's Not Safe

 * Excuse me sweetie, I forgot to ask your mom to buy some milk before she left for work, do you mind running to the store to pick some up?
 * Sure.
 * Good boy, now you be careful outside.
 * Yeah right, who knows? I might get jumped by a garden gnome.
 * Ahhhhh!
 * What the what?
 * This lesson shows that nobody is safe the moment they leave their house.
 * What are you doing sweetie?
 * Just making a sandwich.
 * Well let me show you how to do it safely.
 * That lesson shows that nobody is safe when there's a knife around, so get out of here!
 * Ah hold on sweetie, let me get that for you.
 * And this lesson shows that nobody is safe around windows.
 * And this is why you don't play with tools! Oh, looks like my work here is done.
 * That lesson shows that nobody is safe when there's a knife around, so get out of here!
 * Ah hold on sweetie, let me get that for you.
 * And this lesson shows that nobody is safe around windows.
 * And this is why you don't play with tools! Oh, looks like my work here is done.
 * And this lesson shows that nobody is safe around windows.
 * And this is why you don't play with tools! Oh, looks like my work here is done.
 * And this is why you don't play with tools! Oh, looks like my work here is done.
 * And this is why you don't play with tools! Oh, looks like my work here is done.

Turned Into Richard

 * Why are we eating like this?
 * Because its the only thing... ...I'm not terrified of doing.
 * I don't think its very good to stop using our brains like this, I can feel myself getting dumber-rer.
 * You have nothing to worry about anymore, all you'll ever need is right here.
 * Wuh?
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm...
 * What the? What have you done to them? They've all have turned into Richard.
 * Well at least they're SAFE!
 * It's because of your parenting that Richard had that accident. Wait, its because of your parenting that he has no common sense whatsoever, you protected him his entire life, never letting him thinking for himself, and now he could hardly think at all!
 * Richard, Richard, RICHARD!
 * Huh?
 * Take the kids and go buy some milk.
 * What do you think you're doing!?
 * I'm trying to revive their brains.
 * Uhh...does anyone remember how to open a door?
 * Yeah, I think you're supposed to turn that.
 * ,, and : Huh?
 * If you think I'm letting you send them out into danger, you got another thing coming!
 * If you think I'm gonna let you mess with my family anymore, YOU GOT THIS CHAIR COMING!
 * What the?
 * Good luck trying to stop me Nicole, I've safe-proofed this whole house.
 * Everything breakable is now plastic.
 * Everything else is rubber.
 * Apart from that, which was paper. A good mother prevents accidents before they happen.
 * I AM A GOOD MOTHER!
 * Say it!
 * No.
 * SAY IT!
 * No!
 * SAY I'M A GOOD MOTHER!
 * Hmmmm...
 * Everything breakable is now plastic.
 * Everything else is rubber.
 * Apart from that, which was paper. A good mother prevents accidents before they happen.
 * I AM A GOOD MOTHER!
 * Say it!
 * No.
 * SAY IT!
 * No!
 * SAY I'M A GOOD MOTHER!
 * Hmmmm...
 * No.
 * SAY IT!
 * No!
 * SAY I'M A GOOD MOTHER!
 * Hmmmm...
 * Hmmmm...

The Expressway Chase

 * NOOOOOO, you've sent them to a highway of eternal doom in a chariot of pain and despair! MY BABIES, MY BABIESSSSSSSSSS!
 * Oh please, Richard is perfectly capable of driving to the store.
 * I'll get the car.
 * Dad, you need to stop the car!
 * I can't, I can't remember how to drive!
 * Hmm, you're clearly doing something wrong, I just don't know what.
 * ,, and :  Hmmmm...
 * Oh oh I got it, you forgot your seat belt.
 * Stop the car!
 * I don't know how!
 * Well start by looking the right way!
 * Don't give them the answers, they have to figure it out by themselves. Just use your common sense honey, its OK to make mistakes!
 * Ok, I need a little help here, how do you stop a car?
 * Well it depends, are we moving forward or is the world moving backwards?
 * Whatever it is, the answer must be in this car!
 * ,, and : LET'S PUSH ALL THE BUTTONS!
 * Agh, what we do now?
 * I think the right thing to do is flail our arms and scream in panic.
 * Uh ok, that was a pretty good mistake, what did you learn from that?
 * Nicole, I have to put a end to this right now.
 * Nooooooo!
 * Your family is in danger and you-
 * My family is fine, they just need the right incentive.
 * No no, don't leave us!
 * We've got to stop the car!
 * But how?
 * Have you tried saying please?
 * Don't be silly, just do as I do.
 * ,, and :  AH, get off the road!
 * No, you can do it honey!
 * Are you crazy?!
 * Come on guys, I believe in you, remember everything you've learned!
 * Learned, learned, learned, learned, learned.
 * Uh pap pap.
 * Remember...
 * We've got to stop the car!
 * But how?
 * Have you tried saying please?
 * Don't be silly, just do as I do.
 * ,, and :  AH, get off the road!
 * No, you can do it honey!
 * Are you crazy?!
 * Come on guys, I believe in you, remember everything you've learned!
 * Learned, learned, learned, learned, learned.
 * Uh pap pap.
 * Remember...
 * Learned, learned, learned, learned, learned.
 * Uh pap pap.
 * Remember...
 * Remember...
 * Remember...


 * Remember...


 * Ha ha ha!
 * Remember...
 * ,, and :  The brake!
 * Nicole, I-I-I'm sorry I ever doubted you, you are a good mother.
 * Its OK to make mistakes if you learn from them Granny Jojo, now if you'll excuse me, I just need to pass out as well.
 * Nicole, I-I-I'm sorry I ever doubted you, you are a good mother.
 * Its OK to make mistakes if you learn from them Granny Jojo, now if you'll excuse me, I just need to pass out as well.