The Gyroscopic Collapse


 * Penny: Hey, what's going on?
 * Leonard: You won't believe it; the military confiscated our project!
 * Penny: (shocked; sits down next to Bernadette) What?!
 * Bernadette: (in disbelief) You're kidding! Why would they do that?
 * Howard: They wouldn't say.
 * Sheldon: (still outraged) I feel so betrayed. All my life, I thought Uncle Sam was a friendly uncle who gave you presents. Turns out, he's the other kind.
 * Amy: Sheldon, I am so sorry.


 * Bernadette: So what happens next?
 * Howard: It's phase two. We test it, perfect it, and hope to live long enough to see the movie based on our lives starring more attractive versions of ourselves.


 * Sheldon: All my life I thought Uncle Sam was a friendly uncle who brought you presents. Turns out he's the other kind.

[First lines]
 * Penny: Champagne, champagne, and for the world's tallest two grader, apple juice.
 * Sheldon: No bendy straw. Some party.


 * Leonard: Sir, I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. You came into our lab in the middle of the night and took our prototype and all of our research and didn't even tell us?
 * Colonel Williams: Sounds like you get it.
 * Howard: Why would you do that?
 * Colonel Williams: You guys completed Phase One, we'll take it from here.
 * Sheldon: Where did you move it?
 * Colonel Williams: I can't tell you that.
 * Leonard:Colonel Richard Williams: I can't tell you that.
 * Sheldon: Wait, so you're just going to take all the work we've done for the last year and toss us aside?
 * Colonel Williams: That one I can tell you: yes.
 * Howard: This is all very upsetting.
 * Colonel Williams: I'm sorry to hear that. As you know, the primary focus of the United States Military is people's feelings.
 * Sheldon: If that's sarcasm, please save it for our enemies.


 * Howard: How can you work on something for a year and they just take it?
 * Leonard: I can't believe the Air Force would treat us like that.
 * Sheldon: You know, I have a good mind to stop paying my taxes. It's too bad I enjoy doing them so much.


 * Amy: This might cheer you up. I made your favorite oatmeal: plain.


 * Sheldon: Princeton. A fine institution. It's where Einstein taught. It's also where Leonard got his PhD, so it may have gone downhill since then.


 * Sheldon: [Walks into an empty apartment by mistake] The Air Force did it again! They're erasing our lives!
 * Leonard: [Sees number on door] Third floor. Wrong apartment.
 * Howard: Although, if anyone's gonna clean out your apartment and disappear, it'd be Penny.
 * Leonard: She might disappear, but she's definitely not going to clean anything.


 * Leonard: Are you excited to have your own place again?
 * Raj: I am, but I'll miss you guys.
 * Leonard: We'll miss you too.
 * Raj: You could try saying that without smiling.
 * Leonard: I'm trying. This is the best I can do.


 * Raj: Come on, Sheldon. Amy's only gone for a few months. And now that I'm moving out, your old room is empty, so you can stay there whenever you want.
 * Leonard: Raj, could I talk to you on the hall for a second?
 * Raj: Sure. [Raj steps out, Leonard closes the door behind him and locks it]


 * Computerized Voice: Leonard Hofstadter. Access granted.
 * Leonard: I don't care if this thing's burning out my retinas. Makes me feel special.