The Game


 * Ugh, what's the point of cleaning under the bed? It's like cleaning a dumpster! It's designed to be filthy.
 * Because this room smells like dog burp.  Ugh! What is this?
 * Oh, that's a glass of milk.
 * ...Cheese. That's a glass of cheese.
 * ...Stone. That's a glass of stone.
 * Are you kidding me? That milk had to be at least ten years old.
 * Well, at least there's nothing alive under there.
 * Darwin The First? So that's where you were hiding, Oh!
 * Wait, I thought you said that Darwin the First left to live happier life on a farm with other fishes.
 * Huhuh huh, he did... He did...
 * Uhh... Hey, Look what I found, the game you made.
 * Hang on, I'm not three anymore, you're not going to distract me with- what the what!?
 * Dodj or Daar, it's calling us...
 * No! We swore we'd never play that game again.
 * Huhuh huh, he did... He did...
 * Uhh... Hey, Look what I found, the game you made.
 * Hang on, I'm not three anymore, you're not going to distract me with- what the what!?
 * Dodj or Daar, it's calling us...
 * No! We swore we'd never play that game again.
 * Dodj or Daar, it's calling us...
 * No! We swore we'd never play that game again.
 * Dodj or Daar, it's calling us...
 * No! We swore we'd never play that game again.

The Game Starting

 * Just ignore the calls.
 * We have to destroy that game.
 * It's gone!
 * and : Wait!
 * It's gone!
 * and : Wait!
 * and : Wait!
 * and : Wait!
 * and : Wait!


 * and : Don't throw the dice!
 * You don't know what you're doing!
 * Yeah, cause you didn't write any instructions.
 * But what you did write was spelled wrong, Dodj or Daar? Sounds like an alien choosing a baby name.
 * Let's just pack it away.
 * No, you can't stop! Once you start Dodj or Daar, it has to be finished!
 * You don't know what you're doing!
 * Yeah, cause you didn't write any instructions.
 * But what you did write was spelled wrong, Dodj or Daar? Sounds like an alien choosing a baby name.
 * Let's just pack it away.
 * No, you can't stop! Once you start Dodj or Daar, it has to be finished!

Playing the Game

 * Ok, the rules are pretty simple. You roll the dice and pick a Daar card. If you do the Daar, then you go forward that many spaces. If you don't then you have to take a Dodj card and move half the spaces.
 * Okay, and how do you win?
 * You don't win, you survive!
 * Okay... but how do you actually win?
 * Oh, you have to roll an exact number to land on the last square. Dad, you're up.
 * I feel sorry for whoever's gonna do this one!
 * Officer please, I need to report a theft.
 * Yes, finally! What did the thief look like?
 * Well, he was wearing a monocle.
 * Okay... Uh, anything else?
 * Yes, he had a big furry mustache!
 * Okay... any other distinguishing features?
 * Yes, he was dressed as a yodeller! .... Aren't you gonna write that down?
 * Just testing something.
 * Ah! And what did that man steal?
 * A kiss.
 * Okay... any other distinguishing features?
 * Yes, he was dressed as a yodeller! .... Aren't you gonna write that down?
 * Just testing something.
 * Ah! And what did that man steal?
 * A kiss.
 * A kiss.

Prank Pizza



 * You actually did it!?


 * Oh yeah. That's how it always starts with the laughing and the daars and then later...  the horror and fear...


 * My go.  Hmmm...order a prank pizza.


 * Uh huh, and what's the address?


 * 420 Grove Street. Oh, and can you add some turkey gizzards?


 * Along with the ice cream, pigs foot, and oysters?


 * Yes, it's an old family recipe invented by my grandfather. Old Joe Windybags!


 * Oh man,  I wish I could be there to see that pizza arrive!


 * Ok, 420 Grove Street, here we go.  Pizza guy! What are you talking about? I sell pizzas, why would I buy one?!  Well someone's gotta pay for this.  I'm not paying for something I didn't order!  What am I suppose to do with this now?  Give it to me I'll show ya!  I think all these jobs are messing with my head.

The First Dodj



 * I'm now wearing everything... in the house!  Ok, can someone move me forward?  I meant my piece on the -- UH!


 * Ok, that's six spaces putting you ahead of Gumball, Darwin, Dad, and... me. Although technically it says every thing in the house.


 * I am wearing everything! Even Dad's fat camp girdle!


 * Everything, Anais, Not just clothes. The couch is a thing, are you wearing that?


 * What?! But...


 * No arguing, young lady. You need to learn to be a good loser. Now take your Dodj.  "The floor is now red hot lava".




 * [The bottom of her socks turn red, she rubs them] I actually felt that through six pairs of shoes!


 * IT'S STARTING! We have to finish the game quickly before it gets a hold of us and destroys us all!


 * Dude, keep it together!
 * : Get a grip on yourself, you're under-reacting!
 * : THANKS, MAN! I got bit calm for a second but now I realized how serious this is!
 * [Darwin rolls the dice; picks a Daar card on the Daar desk]
 * : AAH! DARE! "RUN PAST A DOG WEARING A SUIT OF HAM!" That doesn't sound too bad.
 * : Really? Don't you remember when I got that one?
 * : The worst part is it took four weeks to stitch that suit together and it was gone in under a minute.
 * : You're right, I'll take a Dodj!  "Your left arm must do like the player to your right's arm does and vice versa".
 * : What does that mean?
 * : It means I can do this!
 * : Hey!
 * : Dare, "take a dodge". Aww, man.  "CSD".
 * : What's CSD?
 * : Compulsive Singing Disorder. It means that I could sing at ANYTIME.
 * : "Eat 100 hot dogs in under a minute". That's not a dare! That's Tuesday.
 * : I think he stopped. (his left hand moves to his mouth) Aw dude, he's drinking the brine!
 * : Boys, I'm not using spray cheese instead of deodorant. Give me a dodge card. From now on, you will doubt every thought you have. That's ridiculous. There's no way a board game can make that happen.
 * A freaky head suddenly grows on Nicole's head.
 * Freaky head: Or can it?
 * : Is that head real?
 * : It's as real as you believe it is, until the game ends.
 * : Maybe now you're starting to realize... HOW DANGEROUS THIS GAME REALLY IS... That came out way less ominous than I was hoping for.
 * : Give me the dice. (steps on the floor and jumps onto couch, rubbing her burning socks) AH-Ah-ah-- WHY IS IT STILL BURNING!?
 * : We told you, nothing stops until you finish the game.
 * : Well then, I'm finishing the game right now.
 * Freaky head: Or are you?
 * : (sigh) Every sentence you say is going to start with "or" isn't it?
 * Freaky head: Or is it?
 * : I'll take that as a yes.
 * Freaky head: Or will--
 * : YES!!
 * : It won't make any difference, Mom. The game's too powerful.
 * : The only power this game has is the power you give it.
 * : Then why's my hand moving again?
 * : The game's finished, Richard.
 * : But these pickled eggs aren't!
 * : (sigh)
 * Nicole comes to Darwin, takes his right hand and hit the left one. In the kitchen, Richard drops the food he's eating.
 * : Oh! Aww...
 * : But these pickled eggs aren't!
 * : (sigh)
 * Nicole comes to Darwin, takes his right hand and hit the left one. In the kitchen, Richard drops the food he's eating.
 * : Oh! Aww...

At Nicole's office

 * Phone ringing.
 * : Rainbow Complaints Office. How can I help you? This sounds like a very simple problem.
 * Freaky head: Or is it?
 * : Zip it, you goblin-faced lump! No, sir, I wasn't talking to you. (to the client on the line, who's angrily shouting at her) I'm sure you're a very handsome man.
 * Freaky head: Or is he?
 * : Don't you think it's hard enough to deal with idiots all day without you pestering me, too? (to the client who's yelling) Sorry, yes, sir, I suppose some of that was directed at you. (client yelling) Yes, of course I'll put you through to my supervisor.
 * Freaky head: Or will you?
 * : I'm gonna pop you, you-- (hits herself very hard with the headset and knocks herself out.)

At Mr. Small's class

 * Gumball is reading aloud his essay in front of the class.
 * : And so, in conclusion, if earth temperature were to rise by just one degree, average sea levels would rise, leading to a MASSIVE TRAGEDY. (he sings the last part cheerfully, and the class laughs)
 * : (looking upset) Oh, I didn't realize you thought global warming was such a laughing matter. Three hours detention. (to the class; Gumball goes back to his place) Now, who would like to volunteer for my outdoor meditation retreat instead of having a summer vacation?
 * : (raising his left arm) What the? (Darwin pulls his arm down. At the shed at home, Richard's left hand his pulled down too. He tries to raise it again to get the chainsaw).
 * : Come--on--
 * : Very good Darwin. And who wants to take the vow of silence, as well?
 * [Darwin's trying to pull his arm down again]
 * : Come--on--
 * : You won't regret it. And finally, we also need a volunteer for the eco protest this weekend where we chain ourselves to a doomed tree for 48 hours.
 * [Darwin's arm keep being raised against his will.]
 * : Are you sure, Darwin? I'm not gonna lie to you, buddy. We're gonna get maced.
 * [Darwin manages to get his arm down. Meanwhile, the chainsaw in Richard's uncontrolled hand destroys part of the shed.]

It's Do or Die Time

 * : We have to finish the game!
 * : Just roll the cards and pick the dice! Just get on with it!
 * : OK. We need maximum rolls every turn, which means no Dodjs, no matter how bad the Daars are. Agreed? Dodj.
 * : What happened to taking every Daar?
 * : Do you really want to see me clean myself with my tongue?
 * : EW!
 * : Dodj! Dodj! Dodj!
 * : Dramatic music will play 'til the end of the game.
 * : Daar! Juggle flaming knives.
 * : Come on, Richard! You can do it!
 * : Never mind! We'll deal with that later. Drive a car from the back seat.
 * : I can do it! I can do it!
 * : Or can you?
 * : SHUT UP, WILL YOU?
 * : Dodj bomb. What's that?
 * : Everyone, TAKE A DODJ CARD.
 * : Freeze frame. Does that mean I'll--
 * : See? That's what we told you! If we all get stuck by a dodge, we'll remain like this forever!
 * : Groovy earthquake. (Gumball's shaking) Whoaa, whoaa.
 * : Gravity is your enemy, what does that--
 * : Giant hands.
 * : Or are they?
 * : Inverted mermaid!
 * : Nothing happened.
 * : Well, I'm kind of that already... Fish head, legs.
 * : Come on! Roll the dice!
 * : Date a sheep. I'll have the lamb, uh... I mean chicken  I meant the check!
 * : Bathtub sledge.
 * : We're nearly there!
 * : Now we need to land on the last square with an exact roll.
 * : Here we go! Five! Oh no, Dodj bomb again.  No one is allowed to breathe until the game is over.
 * : Or are they?
 * : Please... be a six.
 * : Are you kidding me?
 * : Yes! We survived, all the effects of the game have been reversed... almost.
 * : Bathtub sledge.
 * : We're nearly there!
 * : Now we need to land on the last square with an exact roll.
 * : Here we go! Five! Oh no, Dodj bomb again.  No one is allowed to breathe until the game is over.
 * : Or are they?
 * : Please... be a six.
 * : Are you kidding me?
 * : Yes! We survived, all the effects of the game have been reversed... almost.
 * : Are you kidding me?
 * : Yes! We survived, all the effects of the game have been reversed... almost.
 * : Yes! We survived, all the effects of the game have been reversed... almost.
 * : Yes! We survived, all the effects of the game have been reversed... almost.