Three Minus Bree

Well, Bree, you smashed your chip so badly, it's useless, but I was able to replicate my brother's original chip, and like my face, it's flawless. Forget the chip. We need to get this dude a mirror. Wait, so I'm actually gonna be bionic again? - Yeah. - Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! - Your chip's almost ready. - (Bell dings) Ooh, snacks are done. For the last time, this is not a microwave. It's a chip fabricator. Hey, call it whatever you want. I'm still making my mini pizzas in here. Okay, Bree, hop in your capsule and get ready for your new chip. You know, big D., if this works, maybe you can make a chip for me. Please. Your body can't handle high fiber cereal. So? How does it feel? Like a piece of metal just got jammed into my neck and fused to my nervous system. Whoo! Success! All right. Now give it a try, see how it works. Okay. Well, she's still more useful than Chase. The world's first bionic superhumans. They're stronger than us. Faster, smarter. The next generation of the human race is Living in my basement? You know, technically speaking, your bionics are working. (Distorted deep voice) You call this working?! (High-pitched voice) I can't control my vocal manipulation. I can't control anything. I'm so close. It just needs a few tweaks. Dude, we're in big trouble if he can't fix her. We need her speed and agility for missions. Maybe we'll just find someone to replace her. We can't just replace her. You're right. Let's just forget about her and move on. She's dead to me. What's wrong? I miss Bree! No offense, big D., but if your brother's the one who created her original chip, then maybe we should just call no, forget about it. I never wanna see that waste of space again. But he's our only hope, and he's not all bad. He did save us from crane. Yeah, you know what else he did? He blew up the lab, kidnapped you, and stole all my money. All I'm hearing is adventure and excitement. Look, I do not need any help from Douglas. I will fix this. Give me a little credit. I happen to be a tech genius. Okay. Let's give it another go. (Crashing noises) Oh, Mr. Davenport, you are not good at your job. Ah, good news, Chase. I found a way to replace Bree's super speed. Come on in. I found her outside of the supermarket. She couldn't remember where she parked, so she's ours now. You wanna replace Bree With an old lady. More importantly, you stole an old lady?! No, it's not stealing if she thinks you're her grandson. No, it's perfect. She's so old, no one would ever suspect she's bionic. Dude, quiet. Don't worry, she can't hear a thing. Come on, Chase, picture it. Oh, bionic grandma, I'm cold. Toasty. But now I'm hungry. Sugar-free with chunks of carob? My favorite. Dude, you're ruining my fantasy. Thanks, bionic grandma. Look, it doesn't work like that. You can't just give super speed to a random person. But she's my Nana. There's no substitute for Bree's speed. The best we can do is find a way to get to missions faster. Fine. I'll take her home. Hey, Nana, do you remember where you live, 'cause I have no idea. Did you try it? Yes, I tried that. Maybe maybe you should stand over there so that your peanut butter breath wouldn't distract me, and I could think! Ow! Know what? I need a break. That's it, I just need a break, that's all. Whoo, break time! Ha ha ha! Wow! I have never seen him like this. I have. Remember last Christmas when he gained two pounds? Those fluffy sweaters weren't fooling anybody. I'm scared, Leo. What if he can't fix my chip? I had a gift, and then, I just threw it away. By destroying that chip, I destroyed our team. Excuse me, ma'am, I'm looking for a guy named Douglas. Have you seen him? Short, creepy, porcupine hair? (Deep voice) I wouldn't call it porcupine hair. It's really more of a spiky lion's mane. Douglas? You could be anybody with that cyber mask. Why would you go with That? Two reasons hides me from crane, scares the pigeons away. How'd you find me? Well, I could make up an impressive story about a high-tech satellite search that narrowed down your exact coordinates, but the truth is, you butt-dialed me. Look, we need your help. Bree wrecked her chip. She what?! It took me years to perfect that thing. Yeah, well, it took her three seconds to destroy it. (Frustrated sigh) The bigger problem is, big D. Can't fix it. Of course he can't. I win again. Oh, I can't wait to shove his face in this one. It's not about you beating your brother. He doesn't even know I'm here. But I had no other choice. You're the only one who can help Bree. I wish I could, Leo, but I don't even have a lab anymore. I'll sneak you into ours while big D. 'S out. I don't know. Please Dad. I'm not your dad. You're everybody else's dad. I thought it might work. Look, now is not the time for hurt egos or grudges. Bree's my sister, and I have to fix this. She needs your help. Okay. Guess I'll just have to be the bigger man. Ta-da! You're gonna teach me how to catch a football? No, I'm trying to fix the Bree problem, not do the impossible. (Woman screams) Sorry, Mrs. rosenblatt. How is this going to get us to missions faster? It launches footballs at high speeds, so I figure, you make it bigger, do some type-y type-y, and it will launch us to our missions. Any questions? Just one. Did it sound stupid when you said it? Look, I have a better idea. Mr. Davenport's motorcycle goes 250 Miles per hour. If I soup it up, I can make it do 350 easy. All right, super bike. I like-y. All I have to do is open up I don't need to know how the sausage gets made. Just call me when the dog's on the bun. Big d. 'S gonna be back any minute. Do something! I'm sorry, I couldn't hear ya. Could you say it a little louder?! There. It's as close to the original design as I can get. If your micro chips are as good as your pita chips, I think we're in good shape. Leo, what is he doing here? It's okay. I brought him. He's the only one who can help you. I don't know about this. We don't have a choice. Do you wanna be bionic or not? (Bell dings) Ah, chip's ready if you are. Why does it smell like pepperoni? Okay, fine. But this better work. Wait. You're not gonna, like, turn me evil, are you? I already tried. Didn't take. Don't worry, Bree. I think we can trust him. What bad guy makes baba ghanoush this good? Got a really good feeling about this. Okay, go ahead. Test it out. - (Laughs) - Yes! You did it! I can't stop! I thought you knew what you were doing. I'm a little rusty, okay? How did he get in here? I let him in. But before you get mad, you've got to taste this. Help me! I specifically told you not to contact him. How could you betray me? Hey, in my defense, I'm just a little boy. Oh, lay off the kid. He was just trying to help. Help her? She's worse off than she was before. I was this close to fixing this. I saw your chip. You were not close. (Mocking) You were not close. Do something! Bree, do you mind? The adults are trying to have a conversation. We're never gonna be able to fix that chip unless we can get Bree to stay in one place. How are we supposed to stop someone running at the speed of sound? Spike strip? Sure, why not? It worked for wile e. Coyote. Help! Maybe we can construct some sort of giant air bag. Oh, yeah, 'cause that's not cartoony at all. Spike strip where'd you get that idea, your hair? Where'd you get the air bag idea your belly? I'll have you know I lost that Christmas weight Ballistic gel. What? The gel that forensics labs use to test firearms. That's not a bad idea. I thought it wasn't a bad idea before you did. Spike strip. Air bag. Okay, it's set. Next time she runs through here, she'll get stuck in there like a rat. Yes! It worked! Both: I know. I'm a genius. Both: I'm a genius. Hey, check it out. I gave it a boost. All I had to do was swap in a high-volume fuel pump, mount the exhaust yeah, yeah, yeah. Sausage. Let's ride. I don't know why Mr. Davenport didn't do this sooner. This bad boy's gonna hit 400, no problem. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - What are you doing? - I'm driving. You're not driving. I souped up the bike, I'm driving. Everyone knows big guy rides in front, children in the back. You know, for their safety. Look, I'm not just gonna sit there with my arms wrapped around you. You wouldn't be able to with those scrawny little sticks. There's gotta be a way for the two of us to ride that's not completely embarrassing. Not working, not working. It's not working. Put me down. (Screams) Well, this isn't it. Nope. Well, it made sense in my head. It's a classic for a reason. (Both screaming) What happened? It's out of gas. It goes 400 Miles per hour, but apparently only gets 12 inches to the gallon. - Now what? - Already on it. Myrtle, Adam Davenport. You're back in the mix. I said you're back in the mix. Stop hitting the buttons. Can someone please do something? Her heart rate's 200 and rising. While I'm not a doctor, I feel that's unsafe. This is all your fault. You overloaded her chip. My fault? It was your chip I was trying to fix, which was flawed, much like your original nose. (Gasping) Get this chip out of me! We can't remove your chip while your bionics are in use, but we can reprogram it wirelessly with this. Hurry. She's red lining. If you don't do something, her heart could my heart could what? What's another word for explode? I'll enable a diagnostic app that will help us isolate the problem areas in the code. We don't have time for that. I'll fix the code. You fixed enough. I got it. Oh, no, what's wrong with her head? Stop! We're running out of time! Wait. This line of code hasn't been debugged. That's why her neural array keeps re-indexing. What does that mean?! Both: I found the problem. Complex asterisk p equals null. Value equals one. Here goes. Yes! Her heart rate's going down. It's headed for normal. (Wearily) Yay! I wish my heart exploded before I saw that. Hey, guys, guess what. I'm back, losers. You got your speed back. That's too bad, 'cause we kinda already moved on. - Hey, boys. - Douglas? What's going on? He fixed her chip. Actually, we fixed her chip. That's right. The Davenport boys, together again. Yeah, not quite. Look, I'm grateful for your help, and I couldn't have done it without you, but I can't forgive you for what you've done to this family. You should go. Oh. You can't throw your own brother out on the street. Why not? I'd do it to you. He's tried to hurt us too many times. But he's also saved our lives. Twice. Plus, dude can cook. Speaking of, you've eaten Pay up. You heard the man. Out! Come on, Mr. Davenport, let the guy stay. - Give him a chance. - This isn't fair. Guys, it's okay. He's right. I messed up. I'll see ya around. Thank you, Leo. I mean, if not for you, none of this would've ever worked out. I promise I will never do anything that stupid ever again. It's okay. We all make mistakes. And everybody deserves a second chance. Everybody? Oh, snap! Hey, Douglas. I don't think that's Douglas. Yeah, she has much bigger hands. Trust me, guys. This is no lady. Get off me! Come on, Douglas. Ditch the mask. Where's the button on this thing? I'm warning you, kid. Stop poking me, or you're gonna meet the wrong end of these tongs. It's okay, greta. - They're with me. - (Shrieks) So that's Douglas. Uh-huh. And you're a real lady. Uh-huh! Help me! What are you guys doing here? Uh, we we're going on a family jog. Leo gets winded on the last mile, so we all have to carry him. Can't go alone. Bye. Oh, no, you don't. Okay, I may have been a little harsh yesterday. A little? Don't push it. You're sleeping in a bush. Continue. I realize that everybody deserves a second chance. Even you. So as soon as you apologize for all the things you've done to hurt our family, and say that I'm better than you, maybe you can come stay with us for a while. If you don't want to, you don't have to. No, no, it's Clear that you need me. So I'm sorry. And thank you. Now let's go home. Okay. I only brought the motorcycle, so you're gonna have to ride on back. That's okay. I'll just drive it. Drive my motorcycle? I don't think so. Everybody knows the big guy rides in front. I'm not just sitting there with my arms wrapped around you. I'm not crazy about it myself. I'm not touching your tummy. Wow! So immature. Yeah. Who acts like that? Hey, Chase, you want a snack? - Sure. - Oh, myrtle. Whoa! What did you do? Now that Mr. Davenport fixed Bree's chip, I made a copy and stuck it in myrtle. She thinks it's a pacemaker. You put a chip in an old lady, and it works? Mr. Davenport is never gonna believe this. Did he really think you were smart enough to do that? I'm as shocked as you are.