The Ollie

Skater Boy

 * NO!
 * What are you doing?!
 * I was trying to fix the roof. And you saved me.
 * Uh, no, I just saved my skateboard.
 * Oh, is that what this thing is?
 * Yeah, why? What did you use it for?
 * Uhh...
 * Hmm...
 * Hmm...
 * Stop right there!
 * Hmm...
 * I've been using it for that thing Gumball said. Land surfing.
 * Skateboarding, Dad.
 * Yeah, but that still doesn't explain why you own a skateboard.
 * Uh, duh! 'Cause I'm a skater!
 * What? Why is everyone laughing.
 * I'm pretty sure Mr. Dad is laughing so he doesn't feel left out. But the others are laughing because you're clearly a poseur.
 * Oh, oh! What do you mean I'm a poseur?
 * Well, I've never seen you ride a skateboard before.
 * Yeah, there's a lot of things you've never seen me do.
 * You mean like how I've never seen you from profile?
 * What do you mean?
 * Well, like how you always hold your head at a three-quarter angle because you look weird otherwise.
 * I don't see how that proves I'm a poseur.
 * So you're saying you're a skater?
 * Totally.
 * So you can skate?
 * Yes?
 * So if I were to ask you to do a trick right now with this very board, you could?
 * Sure?
 * Awesome! Then you can teach me!
 * What are you wearing?!
 * What's wrong?
 * Dude, you don't wear safety stuff. You just carry it with you at all times, so people know you're choosing not to wear it.
 * But what if I hurt myself bad?
 * Then you get to feature in Elmore Streams' fail compilation of the week.
 * What if I hurt myself really, really bad?
 * Then you get to feature in Elmore Streams' fail compilation of the month.
 * Don't worry, before you can even get on the board, you need to look the part.
 * Awesome! Then you can teach me!
 * What are you wearing?!
 * What's wrong?
 * Dude, you don't wear safety stuff. You just carry it with you at all times, so people know you're choosing not to wear it.
 * But what if I hurt myself bad?
 * Then you get to feature in Elmore Streams' fail compilation of the week.
 * What if I hurt myself really, really bad?
 * Then you get to feature in Elmore Streams' fail compilation of the month.
 * Don't worry, before you can even get on the board, you need to look the part.
 * Don't worry, before you can even get on the board, you need to look the part.
 * Don't worry, before you can even get on the board, you need to look the part.

Wear And Tear

 * Skaters wear like, rags, and shoelaces for belts, because their identities can't be bought.
 * Where do they get their clothes from, then? The thrift store?
 * No, from the skate shop.
 * What's the difference?
 * Everything costs ten times as much.
 * Ha! You sad conformist drone!
 * Ha! You sad conformist drone!
 * That's right.
 * Okay, now we have to figure out whether you ride goofy or regular.
 * I do feel kind of goofy right now.
 * I'm talking about how you stand on the board, dude. Do you lead with your left foot, or with your right foot?
 * I believe all feet were created equal.
 * Okay, which foot do you write with?
 * What?
 * Okay, just let yourself fall forward.
 * What was that?
 * I thought that was some kinda skater trust exercise.
 * It was a test to see which foot you would put forward fist, and-- Okay, do it again.
 * You said "Do it again."
 * Forget it. Come on, let's roll.
 * I meant it like, let's split dude.
 * Oh, sorry.
 * I thought that was some kinda skater trust exercise.
 * It was a test to see which foot you would put forward fist, and-- Okay, do it again.
 * You said "Do it again."
 * Forget it. Come on, let's roll.
 * I meant it like, let's split dude.
 * Oh, sorry.
 * I meant it like, let's split dude.
 * Oh, sorry.

Historical Inaccuracy

 * So who invented skateboarding?
 * No one really knows the true history. It's origins are clouded in the mystery of many concussions.
 * Dude, it's okay to say "I don't know," or "I'll look it up online later."
 * Of course I know! It all started a long time ago...
 * There he is, Lord Hamilton. The ruffian who stole your pocket watch.
 * Criminy! I need to find a way to escape from these here gentlemen. Maybe there's something I can use in this alley.
 * There's nowhere to run, scallywag!
 * Hmm. Hmm.  Hmm--
 * Got ya!
 * Take that! And that!
 * I say, chaps. I wager one could fashion some sort of vehicle from these.
 * Capital idea, old boy.
 * Good day to you, sir.
 * Yes, a good day to you.
 * Very good day, sir.
 * Oh, wonderful. Toodle-pip.
 * That story sounds like a load of poppycock, m'lad.
 * It doesn't matter, dude. What's important is for you to understand the spirit behind skateboarding.
 * M'kay, what is it?
 * It's a deep and profound philosophy... that mostly centers around ragging on kids on scooters, and people on roller skates.
 * I thought it was about connecting your mind with the street.
 * No, that's what your face is for. But first, we need to get you a board.
 * Oh, wonderful. Toodle-pip.
 * That story sounds like a load of poppycock, m'lad.
 * It doesn't matter, dude. What's important is for you to understand the spirit behind skateboarding.
 * M'kay, what is it?
 * It's a deep and profound philosophy... that mostly centers around ragging on kids on scooters, and people on roller skates.
 * I thought it was about connecting your mind with the street.
 * No, that's what your face is for. But first, we need to get you a board.
 * No, that's what your face is for. But first, we need to get you a board.

All Decked Out

 * I've been expecting you.
 * Then why are you not... wearing any pants?
 * All right, I'm gonna level with you. I was not expecting you. What do you want?
 * For you to wear pants. And a skateboard for my brother.
 * Hmm... Ah! I think I've just the one. This one is made of birch and plywood.
 * Aah!
 * Do you have something a little more... flexible?
 * Yes, yes, yes. Of-Of course. This one is made of bamboo and the tears of factory workers.
 * I guess the tears rotted the bamboo. There is... this one.
 * Whoa! She's the one.
 * Good choice. It's also a bargain, at only a hundred and ninety-nine d--
 * Okay, when do we start to skate?
 * Well, first you have to learn the tricks. Here, then here,  and, uh, here,  then... here.
 * Then here?
 * No. Then... here.
 * I have to smell the tricks?
 * Uh... yes.
 * You know what I smell right now? Garbage!
 * Oh, well maybe it's, uh, garbage collecting day.
 * That means they'll be collecting you.
 * M-My garbage, you mean.
 * Mm, yeah.
 * Wha? Wh-What are we talking about here?
 * I'm saying it looks to me like you don't know how to skate!
 * Hmm. I doubted you for a second, but it's obvious from this over-the-top reaction that you can definitely skate! Come on, teach me some tricks!
 * That means they'll be collecting you.
 * M-My garbage, you mean.
 * Mm, yeah.
 * Wha? Wh-What are we talking about here?
 * I'm saying it looks to me like you don't know how to skate!
 * Hmm. I doubted you for a second, but it's obvious from this over-the-top reaction that you can definitely skate! Come on, teach me some tricks!
 * Hmm. I doubted you for a second, but it's obvious from this over-the-top reaction that you can definitely skate! Come on, teach me some tricks!

Do-Or-Die

 * And that's called a... mute air?
 * Yes, and the next trick is called the hospital flip.
 * Why is it called a hospital-- Aah!  Right.
 * Moving on, the next one is called riding fakie. Look over there!
 * Ah!
 * Oh man, you just missed me riding fakie. That was awesome.
 * Okay, so show me the dark side grind again.
 * Uhh, I think I'm ready now. Can we just move on to the part where I actually skate? Come on! Teach me to ollie!
 * Uh-uh I don't think you're ready yet.
 * What do you mean? I'm already doing it.
 * Uh, yeah, and you're going a little too fast.
 * Oh. Uh, where are the brakes on this vehicle?
 * Dude, jump!
 * It's too fast! Save me!
 * I can't!
 * I thought you were an expert in skateboarding!
 * Ah-ah-ah, I said I was an expert in skateboarding, not an expert skateboarder. There's a subtle but important difference.
 * What do you mean?!
 * I'm a poseur, all right?! I never skated because I'm scared of hurting myself, okay?!
 * Hm!
 * HELP ME!
 * Wh-Wh-Whoah-whoah! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
 * Come on, jump! I'll catch you.
 * Ew.
 * Stop in the name of the law!
 * Dude, come on!
 * Mmh-mnh-mnh-mnh!
 * Did you see that?! Dude, I can skaaa--
 * Let's see if you're still laughing after this.
 * There! Come back! Come back! I'll do it again.
 * Aw, come on! If you can only skateboard when people aren't looking, then what's the point in skateboard--
 * Gah!
 * Stop in the name of the law!
 * Dude, come on!
 * Mmh-mnh-mnh-mnh!
 * Did you see that?! Dude, I can skaaa--
 * Let's see if you're still laughing after this.
 * There! Come back! Come back! I'll do it again.
 * Aw, come on! If you can only skateboard when people aren't looking, then what's the point in skateboard--
 * Gah!
 * There! Come back! Come back! I'll do it again.
 * Aw, come on! If you can only skateboard when people aren't looking, then what's the point in skateboard--
 * Gah!
 * Aw, come on! If you can only skateboard when people aren't looking, then what's the point in skateboard--
 * Gah!
 * Gah!