Hermit Ren

[The episode begins at the Cowhouse, Stimpy plays Accordion.]

Stimpy: [singing] Someone's dying my lored! Kumbaya! Someone's dying my lored! A Kumbaya. [plays faster and normal] Oh lored! Someone's dying my lored! Kumbaya. [Taxi Cab stops offscreen]

Ren: [offscreen] Watch where you going, you FOOL?!? [shuts the cab offscreen] Hey lady, GET THAT CLAWS OFF OF MY LAWN! [kicks the dog and opens the door onscreen and glass are breaken and he pants, he's bored and looks at Stimpy.]

Stimpy: [singing] Someone's a la laaa! Jumblelyaaa! [plays faster and normal, Stimpy humming, Ren was twitching his eye and they got tired] A la la laaa! La la laaaa! [plays faster and normal] Ma ma maaa! [normal voice] Ren, you're home! Did ya have a nice day at work? [Ren's back are have knife and paper says "Kick me" and got Pink slip on his hand] You did it the-

Ren: Well, get it myself. [walks off, Stimpy don't know the answer, he continues play accordion and walks off. Ren was open the oven and burny chicken are appeared and eats a burnt chicken and Ren was have a dust his mouth and mouth was on fire and starts screaming, Stimpy was very shocking, Stimpy grabs the milk and pour the rotten milk.]

Stimpy: Duh, I'm coming, Ren! [Ren drinks the rotten milk, he fully shocked, he spits all the rotten milk and he spit it all out.]

Ren: [disgusting, points to Stimpy] YOU stay away from me! I... just... want to be... ALOOOOOOONE! [runs offscreen, Stimpy looks at rotten milk then he drinks it. Ren was on the dirty bathroom.] That's what I need is a good shave. [Ren was looking at the razor. Ren was angry and the face turns red as steam. Stimpy was hammering the picture.] [offscreen] Where's my RAZOR?!?!? [Stimpy looks at the sharpen razor.]

Stimpy: Here, Ren! [Ren grabs the sharpen razor and shuts the door. Ren scars the sharpen razor on his chin and screams on pain. Ren opens the door and it has a skeleton on his chin.]

Ren: Why you... [steps the accordion and he shocked. He tries to let the accordion go, Ren looks at TV, he looked at the phone was ringing and he looked at Stimpy picking his nose.]

Stimpy: Duhhhh...

Ren: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I can't take anymore! I've had it with YOU! You and the whole world! I'm going... when I can be... ALONE... ONCE and for all, and I NEVER, COMING BACK!!!! [slams the door, Stimpy looks at the door, The door opened, Ren's hand was throwing according on Stimpy's mouth, Ren slams the door. Stimpy look at the viewers. Fades to the mountain with Salesman (as the Hermit Union Worker) and Ren.]

Salesman: Now to be a perfectional hermit, Mr. Hoek. You need your very own private cave!

Ren: Wow!

Salesman: Now, remember the Hermit Union Rules. No sunlight... [Ren nods "yes".] No bathing... [Ren nods "yes".] And absolutely... NO FRIENDS! [Salesman pets Ren]

Ren: Absolutely no problem with that, chief. Now if you don't mind, I'll be checking in. See ya, ever again. [walks to the private cave.]

Salesman: Heh-heh. Enjoy... [press the button] Loser. [closes the cave, Fades to inside the hermit cave with Ren]

Ren: [sighs] Alone at last. [walks] No more annoyances, just peace and solidute. And best of all.... [echoing] NO STIMPYYY!!! [normal voice] Yep, doesn't get any better to this. Just a little bit refreshment of furniture and... HUH? [Ren looks at Mummified Bog Man] A Mummified Bog Man! [picks up the Bog Man] Wow! Someone to talk to who can't talk back! [Bog Man falls down] Whoops. [chuckles, picks up the Bog Man] Well, Buddy, now that I'm finally alone, I'm gonna do all the things, I always want it to do. Like writing a nobel. Clip my toenails. Build the Goat engine and I'm gonna script my uniola. Listen to our freaking franklin records and do it- [Fades to Cowhouse, Stimpy are on the kitchen.]

Stimpy: Duhhh... Duh, I wonder when Ren's coming home. He's gonna miss his dinner. [Stimpy has a burnt accordion and walks offscreen] Duhhh... [Fades to the next month or the next or the next or the next or the next after that, and after that, This month was on January. The winter was a snowy day. Ren was put the rock up to the tower of rocks. Ren was stranded, and do nothing. It's got tic-tac-toes and sign says "Home sweet home". They got all the tower rocks. Ren stomach growling, Ren sighs and walks offscreen.]

Ren: I should go find some food. Hold the ford while I'm gone. [walks and stomps on mud and looks at the Bats.]

Bat: Man, that coffee works.

[Ren was imagining a bats turns to cow. Ren was drooling happily, Ren pulls the bat. The bat pulls off on Ren's hand and slaps Ren.]

Bat: What are you think you're DOING?!? I'm a MAN, not a cow! [Ren was dizzy. Ren gets up and imagines coaf into Oldman Farmer Hoek.]

Ren: Oldman Farmer Hoek. Oh father, I'm starving! What should I do?

Oldman Farmer Hoek: Don't be a darn weak often, Boy! We hoek exclaimation us dinner or stuff. Why, would you love one is a natural corn scavenger!

Ren: Yes?

Oldman Farmer Hoek: Look around you, man! There's a walth of sitance before you. Sporl. Like it with fun guide to you. Entire herds on fleas, ticks and shickers to raise and rich. Why, YOU can live like a king! [Ren was screeches happily like a monkey, Ren pull the Sporl out and Ren bites on Sporl fourth times and starts chewing it.] Well, son, Gotta go! [chuckles] You didn't have any sense. [disappears]

[Fades to Cowhouse, Stimpy was making ear germ to Ren Hoek. Stimpy tearing up and thinking, and Stimpy puts the spoon on his ear and pulls out the ear's germ and put on Ren, Stimpy kisses and hugs him, Stimpy sighs. Fades that night on Mountain, Ren was still stranded. No food and no water. Ticks are going out Ren's mouth and looks up when raindrops by. Ren was raising the hands and hands are melting and he made the skeleton hand. Ren looks at Mummified Bog Man and Ren shocked at Ren's face on Bog Man's body. Ren was frightened and he starts running and smash on mud and Ren was stopped by Mud.]

Bat: Man, gonna lay off can chinney in the company!

Ren: Need... some... real.. [throws the mud away] COMPANY! Huh? [Stimpy as the mud and Ren hugs Stimpy.] Oh at last, you're a real friend.

Bog Man: What a bunch of mush. [Ren looks at Bog Man] That's right. You heard me. [Ren rubs his eyes] What are ya playing with dirt for?

Ren: I just wanted some company.

Bog Man: But, you're the own guest company.

Ren: ME?

Bog Man: That's right. YOU and your feelings. BEHOLD! Anger.... Fear... and Ignorance.

Ren's Ignorance: Duhhhh...

Ren: WOW! COMPANY! Let's have a party! [Ignorance, Fear, Anger and Ren are playing BlackJack.] Hey, how about the game of BlackJack!

Ren's Anger: I hate games.

Ren's Fear: Call 911!

Ren's Ignorance: Duhh, I want a pretzel.

Ren: Come on, guys. You'll have fun.

Ren's Anger: I hate fun!

Ren's Fear: This is gonna hurt!

Ren's Ignorance: Duhh, go fish!

Ren: Guys?!? [Ren's Ignorance eats cards.] HEY! You're trying to CHEAT!

Ren's Anger: Yeah! Your whole life's a cheat! [Ren shivers]

Ren's Fear: He's a cheat! [Ren looks at the eyes]

Ren's Ignorance: Did somebody say cheese? [burps offscreen, Ren covers his ears and the teeth chatters, hearing the people saying "CHEAT!" the he stand up and yells loudly] STOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!! [lifts off his table] Who are you? You're not my friends! You're just here to TRICK ME! For week to steal all my stuff! While Amonia! [looks at Bog Man and rips the Bog Man's off.] One force move till the MUMMY GETS IT!! I know all about your BOSS! Yeah yeah, you're it to gather. [waves his Bog Man's head and start aiming the imaginary friends.] Each and out everyone of you. Sleeping on the gravel BED! Eating all my SAAAAAAND! Well, here's something you can REALLY have! HI-YA!!! [Ren smashes the Bog Man repeatedly on the coaf and shakes the screen, Ren stops and looks at the Jasper dressed up as Hermit Union Leader.]

Ren's Anger: Oh no! The Hermit Union Leader!

Jasper: Alright, This is a musk! YOU! [points to Ren] You broken a certain-o-roo of Hermintood. Appanion ship. And what's with all these imaginary friends! You're violating the law HEADGOAL! YOU are officially kicked out of the Hermit Union!! [Fades to outside, Jasper ripped his beard off Ren. Jasper salutes Ren, Ren carrying mud Stimpy and walking to home. Jasper salutes, Ren's anger, fear and Ignorance salutes as well, Mummified Bog Man salutes too, Oldman Farmer Hoek salutes and Salesman salutes too and even bats salutes as well. Fades to Cowhouse, Ren looks at Cowhouse and he opens it.]

Stimpy: Giddyup, horsey! Giddyup! [Ren looks at Stimpy dressed up as a lady with Mud Ren.] Ren! You're back! [smiles]

Ren: So, I turned back for 10 years and you find yourself up for a chihuahua! [Stimpy was sad and gets an idea]

Stimpy: Ahem! But Ren. [Ren looks at Mud Stimpy]

Ren: Oh. [chuckles] Yeah, Sure. Well, it's great to be back, BUDDY! [Ren hugs Stimpy, Mud Ren and Mud Stimpy was winking at the viewers smiley and hugs together. The two iris was closing completely at the end of the episode.]