Frisky Business


 * (episode starts at Dudley's home; his mother is done with packing up her mountain of luggage)


 * Peg: "Dudley! I'm leaving for my trip! Are you sure you're gonna be okay while I'm gone? You've never been on your own before."


 * Dudley: (approaches his mother; has a toothbrush with toothpaste on his head) "I'll be fine mom." (points to head) "See, I already combed my hair and brushed my teeth." (holds out hairbrush and points) "I think I need another toothbrush though; this one's got hair in it." (hairs pop out of his mouth)


 * Peg: "Dudley, that's a comb." (takes comb) "Your toothbrush.. is on your head."


 * Dudley: (takes toothbrush off his head) "So that's why I never get cavities in my hair!" (Dudley guides his mom out the door) "Now stop worrying about me, and have fun at the monster truck rally."


 * Peg: (putting on skull helmet) "I will have fun alright, crushing my opponents into a pudding-like goo." (excited; zooms out to show Peg in her monster truck with ridiculously huge wheels - Pegzilla; her luggage is in the back) "See ya Sunday Sunday SUNDAY!"  (exhaust ignites and monster truck takes off; some baggage falls off and Peg runs over the neighbors' cars)


 * Dudley: "Whoa. Three days without mom.. What am I gonna do?" (jumps and shouts) "ANYTHING I WANT!"


 * (cut to a scene parodying Tom Cruise's rendition of "Old Time Rock and Roll" in Risky Business; music plays as Dudley slides across the floor while wearing sunglasses and a blue dress shirt; he flips and loses control, injuring himself as he falls off-screen.. and continues to fall)


 * Dudley: (echoes) "Why do we have a second basement?!"


 * (T.U.F.F. transition to the Chief, Kitty and Keswick enjoying a cup of hot cocoa on the ground floor of T.U.F.F. headquarters)


 * The Chief: "Mm-mm! Nothing like starting the day with a nice, scalding hot cup 'o cocoa!"


 * (The Chief, Kitty and Keswick start sipping from their cups; Dudley busts in through the front door)


 * Dudley: "FREEDOOOM!"


 * (the three are shocked; they scream and drop their cups onto their heads, drenching themselves in hot cocoa)


 * Dudley: (handstand flips all over the place; talks fast) "Hey guys! Guess who's out of town? It's my mom. Guess how long she's gone? Three days. Guess who fell down the stairs? I did. Guess how many times?!" (jumps, spins and lands) Not sure, I blacked out." (the three are confused; cocoa drips off them) "Boy you are slow guessers."


 * The Chief: (lifts cup off self) "Agent Puppy, what's gotten into you?! You look like you ate a box of Super Duper Sugar O's!"


 * Dudley: (red-eyed) "Wrong Chief!" (holds out cereal box) I ate a box of new, improved Super Duper Sugar O's! Now with more sugar and less O's!"


 * (cuts to Dudley throwing a frisbee)


 * Dudley: "I'm living on the edge Keswick!" (frisbee travels a foot or two in the air, then Dudley catches it with his mouth; he digs a hole, buries the frisbee and covers up the hole) "Doing everything my mom won't let me do. I set off fireworks in my room, -" (roof on Dudley's house is shown being blasted off by fireworks) "-took in a stray gorilla, -" (gorilla shown beating its chest) "-and get this, I went swimming, right after I ate breakfast!-" (Dudley is shown floating in his pool while eating a stack of pancakes) "Haha. CRAMP!" (his body stiffens in pain and he collapses to the ground)


 * (courier approaches them)


 * Courier: (holding a basket of fruit) "Special delivery for T.U.F.F."


 * Keswick: (receives fruit basket; attached to the pineapple is a card from Bird Brain: "Love, Bird Brain) "It's a fruit basket from b-beh-Bird Brain."


 * The Chief: (hops onto basket and lifts pineapple to reveal timer [:30]) "Oooh look, the pineapple has a clock that tells you when it's ripe! Oh-hoh, what a whimsical gift!"


 * Kitty: "That pineapple's a bomb! " (jumps into action; grabs pineapple from basket and sets it on floor; [:10]) "Stand back, I'll defuse it."


 * (Kitty breaks a sweat as she concentrates of defusing the bomb.. It counts down from :3 to :1 just as she is about to clip the wire; suddenly, Dudley jumps up and shouts...)


 * Dudley: "CRAMP'S GONE!"


 * (Kitty bolts away in shock; pineapple bomb explodes, creating a massive cloud of smoke and spewing debris everywhere; smoke rises from the ruins of the T.U.F.F. building)


 * (cut to Kitty standing dumbfounded, her hair all gone; the Chief and Keswick are standing burnt, in the background; Dudley pops up from the rubble, his fur charred and missing a tooth)


 * Dudley: (holding a comb with toothpaste) "Hey Kitty, your fur's messed up. I'd give you my comb but there's toothpaste on it."


 * (Kitty falls over)


 * (Day Two: T.U.F.F. transition to same scene, but one day in the future [Day Two]; smoke still rises from the pile of debris on what used to be the foundations of the T.U.F.F. building; helicopters land a brand new T.U.F.F. headquarters building over the lot, and then fly away)


 * (cut to the Chief, Kitty and Keswick enjoying bowls of oatmeal, in the exact same positions they were in the previous day)


 * The Chief: "Ahhh, nothing like starting the day with scalding hot bowls of oatmeal."


 * (Dudley and a bunch of other animals barge in through the front door, shouting hurray; Dudley blows a party horn: Chief, Kitty and Keswick shout in surprise and they drop their bowls onto their heads)


 * Keswick: "BURN!"


 * Dudley: (approaches the group while riding a mini donkey and wearing a lampshade on his head) "Hey guys! Guess who had a wild party at my house last night?" (talks in the Chief's face) "Me!" (pestering Kitty) "Guess who met a girl? The stray gorilla." (talks in Keswick's face) "All I did was fall down the stairs again."


 * The Chief: (lifts bowl off himself) "Huh?! Who are they?" (points to the people Dudley brought in)


 * Dudley: "I hired them for my party. I couldn't decide whether to get a clown, magician or a pirate... so I got all three!" (quick cut: a rhinoceros clown speedily twists two balloons together to make a model of the Chief) "This is Bobo-" (view pans to show Dudley being pulled out of a hat by a kangaroo magician) ", Presto, and what's your name again Mr. Pirate?"


 * Rat: "I'm not a pirate! I just had eye surgery!" (pulls off eyepatch to show his swollen eye)


 * (alert starts ringing and images are displayed on monitors; Dudley [still on the donkey], Kitty and the Chief rush to Keswick)


 * Keswick: (points to screen) "I just received intel that Snaptrap is committing a robbery."


 * Snaptrap: (via video; points blaster at a rabbit) "All right Peter, give your wallet to Paul." (points to a pink hippo, who is waiting to receive the money)


 * The Chief: "Oh no! He's robbing Peter to pay Paul! Agents Puppy and Katswell, you've got to stop him." (Dudley and Kitty salute)


 * (T.U.F.F. transition to the next scene: Kitty and Dudley are driving the T.U.F.F. mobile down the streets of Petropolis; the clown, magician and "pirate" Dudley hired are sitting in the back)


 * Kitty: (controlling the wheel; infuriated) "I can't believe you brought them with us.


 * Dudley: (relaxing) "Hey I hired them for twenty-four hours and I'm getting my money's worth! Presto, make something disappear!"


 * (Presto waves his magic wand and makes the T.U.F.F. mobile disappear; now resting on air, everyone inside falls onto the road; everyone except for Presto is run over by a cargo truck, who manages to run to the sidewalk just in time)


 * Presto: "Ta da!"


 * Dudley: (tire marks all over his body) "Worth.. every.. penny! (to Kitty, who is annoyed and hurt) "Actually I have no idea what they cost. I just give him my mom's credit card." (holds his mom's handbag)


 * (cut back to Snaptrap, in the alley)


 * Snaptrap: (hands over wallet to hippo) "Here you go Paul. Sorry I took so long to pay you back." (twirls handgun blaster)


 * Ollie: (points) "Boss, it's T.U.F.F.!"


 * (Dudley, Kitty, the rat pirate, Bobo and Presto are running to intercept Snaptrap; he notices) 


 * Snaptrap: "Hey that's Bobo! I owe him money. I guess I could always rob Paul to pay him. Anywho, let's get outta here! (Ollie and Snaptrap flee, but Snaptrap first steals the wallet from Paul; Snaptrap starts up the D.O.O.M. buggy and drives off: the agents are just behind)


 * Kitty: "Presto, quick, we need the car." (Presto conjures a motor scooter with a sidecar; Kitty is disappointed) "Close enough."(Dudley yawns, Kitty is sitting in the sidecar with helmet on; angrily sarcastic) "I'm sorry.. is crimefighting boring you?"


 * Dudley: (puts on helmet) "No, motorcycle magic always makes me sleepy." (sits on driver's seat; whispers to Kitty) "Also, I was up all night. The stray gorilla ate my pillow."


 * (Dudley kick starts the scooter and starts pursuing Snaptrap, who is maniacally laughing in his buggy; Snaptrap drives erratically to the left)


 * Kitty: "Dudley, turn left!"


 * (she observes Dudley is fast asleep; unattended, the scooter collides with a stop sign pole, right at the place where the scooter connects with the sidecard. The scooter and sidecar are broken apart and both go in opposite direction; Kitty yelps as she is helps to do anything as her sidecar continues to travel)


 * (it rides into the Petropolis Cactus Garden; she screams as cactus piles up on her)


 * Kitty: "Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!"


 * (she spits the cacti from her mouth and removes the rest off; just as she does this, she screams when she notices that her sidecard is about to drive right into a land mine testing facility; she rolls straight in and the impact from three landmine explosions causes burns, wrecks the sidecar and flings her up into the air and onto railroad tracks; several seconds later, an electric train runs over her, causing a massive collision) 


 * (frame cuts to Dudley [still on the scooter] just as he is about to wake up from his nap; the damaged sidecard returns to the side of the scooter)


 * Dudley: (stretches) "Mmm my, nothing like a nap to recharge your battery!" (sees a dazed Kitty emerge from the beaten-up sidecard) "Boy you look awful. Maybe you should take a nap."


 * Kitty: (furious, exclaims) "You let Snaptrap get away!" (sidecard detaches from scooter, again)


 * Dudley: "Watch out for that mousetrap store!"


 * Kitty: (as mousetraps fly past) "Ow, ow, ow! Ow ow ow!"


 *  (Day Three: T.U.F.F. transition to similar scenes from previous days; The Chief, Kitty and Keswick are enjoying pot roast for breakfast at T.U.F.F. headquarters) 


 * The Chief: "Mm-mm! Nothing like starting the day with some scalding hot pot roast! I know it's weird, but we're out of oatmeal."
 * (loud, gunfire-like noises; in surprise, the three drop their pots of roast onto their heads, spilling broth over themselves)
 * Kitty: "We're under attack!
 * The Chief: (throws pot off himself) "OW! I burned my tiny thighs!"


 * (Dudley dives in through the door, wearing a shirt of bubble wrap)


 * Dudley: "Yaay!" (grunts as he hits the ground; he rolls around, causing the bubbles to pop; he stands, flexing his arms)
 * Kitty: (lifts pot off head) "Dudley, why are you wearing bubblewrap?!"
 * Dudley: "All my clothes are dirty. It was either this or my mom's wedding dress. And I'm saving that for Casual Friday."
 * (alert beeps; intel flashes on a monitor and the Chameleon is shown)
 * Keswick: "I'm receiving intel that the Chameleon is about to turn himself into a winning la-la-lottery ticket."


 * The Chief: "Agents Puppy and Katswell, you've gotta stop him!" (Dudley and Kitty salute) "Oh, and bring me back some aloe for my tiny thighs!" (his burnt thighs are shown)
 * (T.U.F.F. transition to the Petropolis Grocery: the bird cashier is inside, behind the counter)
 * Cashier: (holding ticket) "Hey, a winning lottery ticket! But no one's here to claim it."
 * (ticket transforms back into the Chameleon)
 * The Chameleon: "Oh darn it! I didn't think this through!" (aims blaster handgun at the cashier, who throws his hands into the air) "Just give me a hotdog and these sporty sunglasses." (shoots tongue at sunglasses and puts them onto his face.. only for his eyes to bulge out of the slits) "Oh okay, just a hotdog."
 * (Dudley and Kitty are hiding inside an aisle of canned food; they move aside some cans and observe the Chameleon)
 * Kitty: (makes a quiet signal) "Shhh."
 * Dudley: (gives a thumbs up, only for his bubble wrap to starting popping) "Huh!"
 * (Chameleon is alerted)
 * The Chameleon: "Huh? Uh-oh, it's the Man! (transforms into a rocket and blasts out through the ceiling while laughing maniacally; leaves his hotdog behind) 
 * (cracks in the ceiling caused by the hole the Chameleon blasted through travel towards the ceiling above Kitty; several chunks fall onto Kitty, crushing her; meanwhile, Dudley is about to walk out, slurping a frozen drink)
 * Kitty: (arises) "Dudley! You let another bad guy escape!" (wipes rubble off; annoyed) "You've been a mess ever since your mom went away." (points) "Face it: you don't know how to take care of yourself, and it's affecting your job."
 * Dudley: (offended) "That's ridiculous!" (throws down drink, which rebounds onto his face) "I don't need my mom!" (slips on the ground) "See!" (stands back up) "You'll see." (takes teddy bear and bag of chips) "I'm gonna go home, eat a healthy dinner, have a good night's sleep, and not fall down the stairs." (nearly slips, but regains balance and walks out) "Then tomorrow, I'll be bright and early to catch tons of bad guys." (walks off)
 * (Kitty stands, annoyed; then the rocket Chameleon lands on top of Kitty, burning her to a crisp)
 * The Chameleon: (transforms into himself) "Ooh, I forgot my hot dog." (takes hot dog, transforms back into rocket and blasts into the sky while chuckling to himself; Kitty lies on the ground, severely charred)
 *  (T.U.F.F. transition to darkness) 
 * Kitty: (disembodied voice; knocks on door) "Dudley.."
 * Dudley: (visualized by his eyes; wakes up) "Ah! Kitty? What are you doing here, it's the middle of the night." (approaches door)
 * Kitty: "It's one o'clock in the afternoon; I was worried about you." (opens door)
 * Dudley: "Aaaahh! The light.. it burns!"
 * Kitty: "Look at this place!" (light fills the darkness, revealing the interior of Dudley's house near the front door; piles of garbage fill the room and Dudley is wearing a wedding dress and red lipstick) "I thought you said you could take care of yourself."
 * Dudley: (smiles) "What makes you think I can't?"
 * Kitty: "You're wearing a wedding dress in a room full of garbage and there's a stray gorilla hanging from your chandelier." (view pans past garbage and to a gorilla hanging from a chandelier)
 * Dudley: "Lester isn't a stray." (wiggles fingers) "He's more of a mysterious drifter."
 * Lester: "I got nowhere else to go." (falls off chandelier)
 * Kitty: (peeved) "Oh forget it Dudley. You're a disaster without your mom. And if you can't admit that, I'm just gonna leave." (walks out the door; only to be grabbed by the feet just as she leaves Dudley's house)
 * Dudley: (grabs Kitty by the feet, on the floor crying) "No! Please don't go! I-I'm sorry you were right! I ran out of the clothes 'cause I don't know how to wash them-" (Dudley is shown banging his head against a broken washing machine full of clothes) "-and I was in the dark 'cause I don't know how to turn on the lights." (Dudley is shown banging his head against a light switch; cut back to Dudley in the wedding dress, crying) "I need my mommy...!" (rocks back and forth; falls) "mommy...!"
 * Kitty: (sympathetic) "Ohhh, it's okay Dudley. I'll help you. We can start by taking out the trash."
 * Dudley: "I already took out the trash." (moans) "It just makes things worse!" (empties trashcan onto welcome mat) "See!"
 * Kitty: "Um, taking out the trash doesn't mean taking it out of the can."
 * Dudley: "Aaaaaahhhh! How do you know these things?!" (motions with his arms; gasps falls to the ground before Kitty, who is startled) "Teach mee!" (receives a call; answers bone phone) "Hello?"
 * (cut to Peg, who driving in her monster truck; she speaks via a headset)
 * Peg: "Hi Dudley. I won the monster truck championship and I'm coming home early." (holds out #1 trophy) "I'll be there right after I get my truck washed."


 * (Peg crashes into something, throwing her off-balance; she gets back up and looks out her window; although she right onto the car wash station and crushed the building, her truck is now clean)
 * Peg: (to Dudley) "Strike that, I'll be right home."
 * (cut back to Dudley)
 * Dudley: "Aaahhhh! Kitty, my mom's on her way! I can't let her see me like this. You gotta help me clean this place up!" (waste sliding out of the house buries Dudley)
 * Kitty: "It's okay Dudley, I'll handle this." (presses button on T.U.F.F. wristwatch) "Guys, we have a 901."
 * (cut to a T.U.F.F. garage; alarm rings, door opens and tank trucks drive out; sirens ring; scene cuts to a T.U.F.F. propeller plane: troopers parachute out)
 * (cut to the tank trucks arriving at Dudley's house and paratroopers about to land; the Chief arrives in his tiny green car, ties a bandana to his head and pulls out a feather duster and jumps into action; one of the tank trucks opens to reveal Keswick in a tractor robot; he grabs a broom and dustpan from another tank that opens)
 * The Chief: (jumps to to Dudley) "Why are you in a wedding dress Agent Puppy? It's not Casual Friday."
 * (inside, Keswick is using the robot to shove a massive pile of garbage [include Lester] into a small room; he shuts the door; the paratroopers land - one of them enters the house and throws a Mr. Soapy grenade; it explodes, sending bubbles everywhere; helicopters hover over the house, blowing them away)
 * (cut back to Dudley, whose wedding dress is blown away by wind from the helicopters leaving him naked)
 * Dudley: "Aaah! I'm naked! Don't look!"
 * Kitty: (sighs and hands over a black shirt) "Here."
 * Dudley: (puts on shirt) "Okay, you can look now."
 * (the interior of the house is shown; everything is sparkly clean)
 * The Chief: (standing on Dudley's snout) "We did it agents! Once again T.U.F.F. has saved the day."
 * Keswick: (in the robot) "Oh please. We cleaned someone's house before their m-meh-mom came home."
 * The Chief: "And your sacrifice will not go unrewarded." (places medal on his chest) "It's been an honor, Keswick." (salutes)
 * Dudley: "Thanks guys." (loud crash outside) "Uh-oh, it's my mom!"
 * (Peg's monster truck is outside, on top of the T.U.F.F. tank trucks she crushed; she rolls down a ladder and disembarks)
 * Dudley: "She's home!"
 * Kitty: "Let's go Keswick!" (Kitty jumps onto Keswick's robot and clings; he drives out Dudley's back door)
 * (Peg walks in through front door)
 * Peg: (holding #1 trophy) "Dudley I'm home..." (notices) "Wow, the house looks great.. I thought I'd find you in a dark garbage-filled room wearing a wedding dress, but you did just fine without me." (pinches his cheeks)
 * Dudley: (smug) "What can I say mom? Your little Dudley is all grown up."
 * (Peg opens the door into the room where Keswick shoved all the trash; a wave of trash bursts out, knocking Peg back - she screams; the trash spreads out across the house, causing a tidal wave and it collides into a mortified Dudley; cut)
 * (Peg is standing in a sea of garbage; a bird lands on her head and rats run past)
 * Dudley: (cries) "I'm sorry mom, I didn't know who to take care of myself without you! I was a mess at work and I totally wrecked the house!" (begs) Please don't be angry." (points to Lester) "By the way, this is Lester."
 * Lester: "I slept in your bed."
 * (frame zooms into Peg's blank face; Dudley is nervously sweating)
 * Peg: (smiles) "I'm not angry sweetheart, the truth is: I'm happy. It's nice to know you still need me." (holds Dudley)
 * Dudley: (happy) "Really? Will you teach me how to turn on the lights?"
 * Peg: (flips switch; lights go on) "You just flip the switch."
 * Dudley: "AWWW! WHY DOES EVERYBODY KNOW THAT BUT ME?!"
 * (ending gag with Dudley and Peg over an ending card)
 * (THE END)