The Dentist in the Ditch

THE DENTIST IN THE DITCH

TEASER

(Fade in: Exterior -- Civil War reenactment site -- daytime. Soldiers walking about, riding horses, marching in formation. Indistinct conversation.)

(Cut to: Two reenactors, Union soldier JASPER ALMAN and Confederate soldier DUVAL MILTOE, walking past a unit marching in formation.)

ALMAN: Sayler's Creek was the beginning of the end for the South.

MILTOE: We dug in and held you Yankees off for two days.

ALMAN: Pfft. Which is why we live in the Confederate States of America, I guess, right?

(Cut to: MILTOE digging a ditch in an old, dry creek bed as ALMAN stands by watching.)

MILTOE: Our boys had set up a perimeter along this here creek. If we had been able to get supplies-...

ALMAN: Oh, I hate to rub it in, Duvall, but you Rebels had more soldiers surrender at Farmville than in any other battle of the war. You could always switch sides, you know; join the winners.

MILTOE: What the-... (brushes leaves away from what appears to be the bones of a leg)

ALMAN: (kneeling to help clear debris; uncovers a hand) What is this?

MILTOE: Oh, my God. Is that a dead soldier?

(ALMAN continues to clear debris; uncovers a skull. Both reenactors jump up.)

MILTOE: That's one of them Yankees we killed.

ALMAN: Yankee? That's a... That's a Rebel Yell if I've ever seen one.

MILTOE: He's screaming for his mother; that's how you can tell he's a Yankee.

ALMAN: General Sheridan, we got a dead Rebel over here, sir.

MILTOE: No, way. (calling out to nearby reenactors) Dead Yankee!

ALMAN: Yes, we do! Dead Rebel!

(Close up on the skull still buried in the ditch, as ALMAN and MILTOE continue to argue over the indistinct exclamations of gathering reenactors.)

ALMAN (O.S.): Rebel!

MILTOE (O.S.): Yankee!

ALMAN (O.S.): Clearly a Rebel!

MILTOE (O.S.): Clearly a Yankee!

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Hoover Building -- daytime.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- SPECIAL AGENT SEELY BOOTH's office. BOOTH is doing paperwork as JARED BOOTH appears in the open doorway.)

JARED: Is that work or Solitaire?

BOOTH: Ha-ha, little brother; look at you. (BOOTH rounds his desk.) Hey!

JARED: (enters the office and hugs BOOTH) How are you?

BOOTH: Hey, good to see you. I thought you were biking across India.

JARED: I was. You know what else? I survived.

BOOTH: (returning to his chair) Survived.

JARED: (laughs as they sit across from each other) I biked through Sikkim. I hiked to the top of Himachal Pradesh. I even learned a few dirty jokes in Hindi. You want to hear one?

BOOTH: You didn't get yourself in any more trouble, did you?

JARED: Not unless you count falling in love.

BOOTH: Wow. Falling in love. Really? How?

JARED: I was swimming with elephants in the Andaman Islands, when out of nowhere, Padme swan dives off a cliff, nearly killing both of us.

BOOTH: Padme?

JARED: Padme Dalaj. It's a beautiful name, right? Seely... I'm thinking of asking this girl to marry me.

BOOTH: You... Congratulations. That's... (phone rings) I gotta get that; it's my special murder line.

JARED: (laughs) Okay... You... You go ahead and save the world.

BOOTH: All right, I'll...ah... I'll catch up with you later, okay?

JARED: All right.

BOOTH: Okay. (Answers phone as JARED exits the office.) Booth.

(Cut to: Exterior -- Civil War reenactment site -- daytime. BOOTH and DR. TEMPERANCE BRENNAN are walking from their vehicle to the site of the recently discovered skeletal remains.)

BOOTH: Jared's only known her for a month. One month.

BRENNAN: Confederate soldiers at Farmville were so hungry, they scavenged seed and corn from horse excrement.

BOOTH: Tasty. But, who marries someone after a month?

BRENNAN: I thought you believed in love at first sight.

BOOTH: Only in the movies, all right? And, not for Jared.

(BOOTH and BRENNAN arrive at the ditch, where MILTOE and ALMAN are still standing.)

BOOTH: Oh-ho! Look at this. What is with the red dirt?

MILTOE: Well, the pine needles left behind tannic acid, which acts like red dye.

BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) Who are these guys?

BRENNAN: (descending into the creek to look over the remains) Well, he's right. And, years of tobacco farming drained the land of nutrients.

ALMAN: Which caused the topsoil to wash away, which left behind red clay.

BRENNAN: You're better informed scientifically than your attire might suggest.

MILTOE: Well, as amateur historians, we've studied this battle, the terrain, military maneuvers...

BOOTH: You don't say?

ALMAN: (to BRENNAN) Could you, by any chance, tell us if that's a fallen Union soldier, or a dead Rebel?

BRENNAN: The angle of the jaw indicates male. Otherwise... (shaking her head) I can't tell anything until I get the remains back to the lab.

BOOTH: (to the Crime Scene Technicians) All right, you know what? We're going to need a backhoe.

BRENNAN: And a cement cutter.

BOOTH: (to the Crime Scene Technicians) And a cement cutter. (to BRENNAN, O.S.) You really love the heavy machinery.

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- the Jeffersonian Institute -- daytime.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. BRENNAN, DR. CAMILLE SAROYAN, and VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY are on the platform discussing the body, still incased in a block of red clay.)

BRENNAN: This trauma to the sternum is degraded. It's as though the bone demineralized over time.

CAM: Maybe he got bayoneted, and then the clay leeched out the calcium.

VINCENT: During the American Civil War, diseases such as typhoid fever, dysentery, and tuberculosis killed twice as many men as battle wounds.

(BRENNAN begins reviewing x-rays on the computer.)

CAM: That could be relevant.

BRENNAN: It is not.

CAM: Why?

BRENNAN: This was not a Civil War casualty.

VINCENT: Ah. Reconstructive surgery.

BRENNAN: (points to the x-ray of an elbow joint) Titanium screws.

VINCENT: Which were not introduced until the mid-60s. (quickly, after a look from CAM) Completely relevant to the matter at hand, I believe.

(CAM begins looking over the block of clay with a flashlight.)

BRENNAN: It's going to be very difficult to extract the remains from this clay without damaging the bones.

VINCENT: Perhaps we could spray it with liquid nitrogen? Give it a short, sharp shock?

BRENNAN: No, freezing the clay with gas would make the bones brittle and destroy evidence.

VINCENT: But, as an idea...the fast-freezing option, it needed stating.

(BRENNAN gives VINCENT a bemused look. CAM has focused her light on a crack in the side of the block of clay; a large number of small spiders begin crawling out. CAM screams and backs away quickly.)

CAM: Whoa!

BRENNAN: What...what happened?

CAM: (pointing to the crack) Spiders. I don't like spiders, and...

VINCENT: (sees the spiders) Oh.

CAM: ...there are thousands of little spiders coming out of...

VINCENT: I'll go get Hodgins. (runs off the platform)

CAM: Uh... I really don't like spiders.

BRENNAN: I don't mind them, actually.

(Fade to: Opening Credits)

ACT 1

(Fade in: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. DR. JACK HODGINS is vacuuming up the spiders, still crawling around the floor. VINCENT is examining the skull, while CAM is standing off to the side, clearly still intimidated by the spiders.)

HODGINS: The spider eggs were on the body before it was encased in the clay. The heat in the lab caused the eggs to hatch, and when you shone your flashlight, they headed for the light.

VINCENT: Based on mandibular dentition, the victim is late-20s, early-30s.

CAM: Dr. Hodgins, I can...uh...still see one in his mouth.

HODGINS: Yup. (vacuums the skull's mouth) These bad boys are Frontinella communis; they're non-poisonous.

CAM: Yeah, still with those gross spider faces and legs, though...

HODGINS: This spider's not found in the area where the body was discovered.

(CAM begins scratching herself.)

VINCENT: Indicating that the victim was probably offed elsewhere.

CAM: Any idea how to...uh...remove the body from the sediment?

HODGINS: Well, I mean, if we remove the moisture from the clay, then it should just fall away without affecting the bones, at all. I just need four dehumidifiers. (notices CAM scratching) You okay, there, Dr. Saroyan?

CAM: Yeah, I'm just...itchy all over. I'm gonna go burn all of these clothes, and maybe my hair. (exits the platform)

VINCENT: Some male spiders are known to actually...to pluck their webs like a guitar, to attract the females.

HODGINS: Someone should tell them it's drummers that get the girls.

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Founding Fathers -- daytime.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Founding Fathers' dining room. JARED and PADME DALAJ are sitting at a table across from BOOTH.)

PADME: We were in Bangalore visiting the Karnataka Belur Temple, when a pickpocket stole my wallet. Jared climbed onto the roof of a building and tackled the thief. (laughs)

JARED: You know all that hero stuff? I learned it from my big brother. That, along with hotwiring a car and stealing cable.

PADME: Jared's very proud of you.

BOOTH: Yeah... What can I say? You know, it's normal big brother stuff, that's all. I'm amazed how good your English is: it's perfect.

PADME: That happens when you grow up in Alexandria, Virginia. I'm third-generation American.

BOOTH: Yes, you are. (to JARED) Thank you for setting me up and making me look like an idiot.

JARED: Yeah, it's just normal little brother stuff.

BOOTH: So, basically, you went all the way to India to meet a girl who lives down the street from you?

JARED: Seely thinks every decision I make is wrong.

PADME: (pacifying) Like you said, typical big brother.

JARED: Yeah.

BOOTH: (chuckles) So, what is it you do for a living, Padme?

JARED: She's a bank robber.

BOOTH: It's a normal question, you know? She's very glamorous; I thought maybe she worked at some glamorous job.

PADME: Hardly; I teach grade school.

JARED: Seely's got a kid in third grade. His name's Parker.

PADME: There's no one named Parker at my school.

JARED: She's the kids' favorite teacher, Seely. (kisses PADME)

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. VINCENT is working on the victim's teeth as BRENNAN enters onto the platform.)

VINCENT: Phosphate and calcium have leaked from the bones into the clay in several places, making the bones softer and the clay harder.

BRENNAN: I see you started with dentition.

VINCENT: Interesting juxtaposition: Substandard dental work, but top-of-the-line materials. I thought that might help with identification.

BRENNAN: I've seen that before in people who get their treatment for free at a dental school.

VINCENT: Suggesting that the victim was poor.

BRENNAN: Specious leap, Mr. Nigel-Murray. The hook of the hamate shows wear from torque, rotational force, and repeated tugging...

VINCENT: (begins to speak, then thinks better of it) I only have inappropriate comments off the phrase "repeated tugging."

BRENNAN: These are occupational markers for many professions, including funeral directors, surgeons, dentists, mechanics...

VINCENT: (catching BRENNAN's hint) A dentist would most likely have his dental work done by other students, while in dental school. That would explain the work on his teeth.

BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. Next, I'd like theories as to what might have caused the initial damage to the sternum.

VINCENT: E-even though it's been severely degraded by demineralization?

BRENNAN: Yes.

VINCENT: Okay. (BRENNAN begins to leave) I'll have to remove the rest of the clay, first. (quietly, to himself) Oh, I will get you to praise me, Dr. Brennan. I will have you look at me with admiration and astonishment at all-...

BRENNAN: I'm sorry, Mr. Nigel-Murray; were you talking to me?

VINCENT: No, Dr. Brennan, I was simply... I was running through my...uh...knowledge...of clay.

(Cut to: Interior -- BOOTH's car -- daytime. BOOTH is driving BRENNAN to the victim's house.)

BRENNAN: You think your brother's girlfriend is hinky? Is that slang for "pretty" or "buxom?"

BOOTH: No, it's just slang for "iffy."

BRENNAN: Well, "iffy" is already slang. I don't see the need for slang for slang.

BOOTH: Okay, look, the point is, there was just a...a hinky vibe between me and her. Look, you know what? I don't expect you to understand, Bones. The victim's dental records confirm his identity.

BRENNAN: (takes a file folder from BOOTH and opens) Dan Pinard.

BOOTH: Mm-hmm.

BRENNAN: Dentist. Lives alone. Are they happy together?

BOOTH: What?

BRENNAN: Jared and Padme; do they seem happy? You've put a high premium on feelings.

BOOTH: Don't go twisting this around, Bones.

BRENNAN: Well, you used to think that people could find true love.

BOOTH: I still do, okay? But, this is Jared, all right? He only just got sober.

BRENNAN: Well, if he's sober, he should be able to find love. I don't understand the rules.

BOOTH: Ah, there are no rules; there's just life, okay? There's just life.

(Cut to: Exterior -- Dan Pinard's house -- daytime. BOOTH and BRENNAN arrive in the truck, pulling in the driveway full of paving stones and construction equipment. They exit the truck and approach the house.)

BRENNAN: Big house for a single man.

BOOTH: Looks like he's doing some serious remodeling, huh? Door's open. Hold on. (draws his gun as he approaches the front door)

(Cut to: Interior -- Dan Pinard's house. BOOTH and BRENNAN enter the front door. There is the sound of a sports program on television emanating from nearby. They pass through the living room and dining room and enter the den, finding LUCAS PICKFORD sitting on the couch.)

BOOTH: Hands up.

PICKFORD: (stands quickly, hands raised) No, no, no. Okay. Okay, this is not what it looks like; I'm allowed to be here.

BOOTH: Who are you?

PICKFORD: Uh, Lucas Pickford. My-my Social Security number is three zero eight, one two-...

BOOTH: Okay, Mr. Pickford, what are you doing here?

PICKFORD: I'm Danny's contractor. I-I live over the garage. He said I could come in any time and use his TV.

BRENNAN: (as BOOTH lowers his gun) Danny is dead.

PICKFORD: He's dead? That's where he's been?

BOOTH: Oh, that's right; he's been dead.

PICKFORD: I thought he just...met someone. Danny once took off for three weeks and never said a word.

BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) Ah, big-screen TV, cold beer... I mean, it's not a great motive for murder, but I've seen people kill for less.

PICKFORD: Why would I kill Danny? He-he owes me money. Like, three grand. You shouldn't be hassling me. You should talk to his ex; they had a bad breakup.

BOOTH: Right. What's her name?

PICKFORD: Chris. But...she's a him. I mean, it's a...Christopher Chris, not a Christine Chris. He rents a place on Dalgren Road.

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. VINCENT is cleaning the victim's bones with an electric tooth brush as CAM enters onto the platform and approaches.)

CAM: There's no faster way to clean the skeleton?

VINCENT: Oddly, no. Not in a localized fashion. Dr. Brennan seemed very anxious to get at the sternum. Uh, Dr. Saroyan, not to come across as in any way needy, but...have you ever seen Dr. Brennan, um, compliment or praise one of us interns?

CAM: I wouldn't worry about praise, Mr. Nigel-Murray; strive for...mild approval.

VINCENT: (nervous chuckle) Then, back to work I go. Heigh-ho, heigh-ho.

CAM: Did you...clean the victim's teeth?

VINCENT: A small sign of respect for a dentist.

CAM: If you want praise, I'd concentrate on the sternum if I were you; something hit him there. Hard. Let's see if we can't figure out what that was and, uh, whether it killed him.

VINCENT: Okay. (sighs loudly as CAM exits the platform)

(Cut to: Exterior -- Chris Fife's house -- evening. BOOTH and BRENNAN are questioning CHRIS FIFE.)

FIFE: I worked two jobs to put Dan through dental school. As soon as his practice was up and running, he dumped me.

BOOTH: And since Virginia doesn't recognize gay marriage or civil unions, you weren't entitled to anything when he left you.

FIFE: How is that fair?

BRENNAN: It's not. I'm sorry to inform you that we have identified some human remains as Daniel Pinard.

FIFE: Wait. Uh, Danny's dead?

BOOTH: (after BRENNAN nods, answering the question) When was the last time you saw him?

FIFE: I haven't heard from him, but... It's got to be a year.

(BRENNAN notices a silver arrowhead stuck in the trunk of a tree and moves to investigate.)

BOOTH: All right. Were you, uh... (watches BRENNAN walk away) Were you upset when he broke it off with you?

FIFE: What?

BOOTH: Well, like you said, you...you didn't have any legal options.

FIFE: Not upset enough to kill. I moved on. I met someone after a couple months, and bygones are bygones, right? Is that everything now? Because, Danny was a part of my past, and like I said, I've moved on.

(BRENNAN takes a glove from her bag and uses it to remove the arrowhead from the tree trunk.)

BOOTH: Actually, no. I'd like to ask you, uh, quite a few more questions, if you don't mind.

FIFE: I do mind, so, excuse me...

BRENNAN: Booth?

BOOTH: Yeah. (BRENNAN approaches, holding out the arrowhead) What do you got there? Looks like an arrowhead. Is that yours?

FIFE: I'm a bow hunter; whitetail deer. Yeah, I'm gay and I hunt. Get over it.

BRENNAN: (pointing to the bow hung in the rear window of FIFE's truck) That bow in his truck would generate sufficient velocity for this arrowhead to cause the trauma on the victim's sternum.

BOOTH: Hmm.

FIFE: What is she saying?

BOOTH: Basically, she's saying you have a choice: Either you come with us willingly and answer my questions or...I arrest you.

ACT 2

(Fade in: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. VINCENT and CAM are on the platform, discussing the victim and cause of death in light of the possible murder weapon found by BRENNAN.)

VINCENT: The damage to the sternum is not the cause of death.

CAM: So, the ex-boyfriend's off the hook.

VINCENT: At a velocity of 82 meters-per-second, a-a hunting arrow would not only pierce the sternum and the heart, but would sever the spinal column. I will point out, uh, however, that the angry ex-boyfriend might still have killed the victim, but either he didn't use a hunting bow or he-he made an amazing shot from the-the absolute, the limit of the bow's range, which-which would be...is...is very far. I sounded very much like Dr. Brennan then, did I not?

CAM: Up until the "very far," yes. What did strike our victim in the chest?

VINCENT: It could easily have been postmortem. Probably as a result of being tipped into a creek...

CAM: So, we don't have cause of death.

VINCENT: (suddenly, clapping his hands together) Rhubarb!

CAM: Uh...rhubarb...yeah...uh, the victim was killed by rhubarb...?

VINCENT: Approximately ten kilos.

CAM: All right, I'm usually pretty good with following your jumpy little brain, but you've totally left me in the dust on this one.

VINCENT: If you can acquire for me the rhubarb, I can deliver unto you a skeleton free of clay. Rhubarb!

CAM: (as she is exiting the platform) Rhubarb, it is.

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Hoover Building -- daytime.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building hallway. BOOTH and DR. LANCE SWEETS are walking to the Interrogation Room.)

BOOTH: Okay, well, you know, our victim wasn't killed by an arrow.

SWEETS: Yeah.

BOOTH: But hey, you know, the good news: our victim's dental hygienist says that he gave her hepatitis C.

SWEETS: The dental hygienist is gay, too?

BOOTH: I don't know. I'm going to ask her.

SWEETS: Her? Did the victim have heterosexual relations with his hygienist?

BOOTH: I don't know. I'm going to ask her.

(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- Interrogation Room. GRACE BRYSON is sitting at the table as BOOTH enters.)

BOOTH: Miss Bryson, I'm Agent Booth.

BRYSON: They said Dan is dead? What happened?

BOOTH: Well, we were hoping that maybe you would be able to help us with that.

BRYSON: Me?

BOOTH: Mm-hmm.

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab experiment room. HODGINS and VINCENT are preparing the victim for a soak in rhubarb-infused water.)

HODGINS: How did you work this up without me?

VINCENT: When I told Dr. Saroyan that the sternum wound was not caused by a hunting arrow, my brain jumped to different types of arrows... (lifts the body with HODGINS up into the container) ...which led me to the image of a giant wasp, which was silly, but which then led me to stinging nettles, which are covered in thousands of tiny little arrows, and on the tip of each tiny little arrow is a drop of oxalic acid, which not only stings, but works very well at dissolving silicates.

HODGINS: Silicate causes clay to adhere...

VINCENT: ...and rhubarb is full of oxalic acid.

HODGINS: Okay. Next time someone says your brain is a jumble of disconnected chaos, you just send them to me.

VINCENT: (chuckles) I wi-... (realizes what was said) People say that?

HODGINS: You need me to stir?

VINCENT: Don't you have lots of spiders to trace?

HODGINS: Well, there's over 30 separate breeding grounds within a 200-mile radius of the body site. I'm analyzing the egg sacks to see if I can narrow it down further, but... I've got some time. And this is so cool.

(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building interrogation room. BOOTH continues to interrogate BRYSON.)

BRYSON: You want to know if I had s*x with Dan?

BOOTH: Well, you filed a grievance against him requesting the ADA revoke his license because he gave you hepatitis C.

BRYSON: No, we didn't have s*x. Dan nicked me during a procedure.

BOOTH: Really? So, he nicked himself and you? What about the patient?

BRYSON: It was while preparing a syringe. My husband and I tested positive after that.

BOOTH: Who believes that story? Did your husband believe that story?

BRYSON: It ha-... It happened.

BOOTH: How did you really get hepatitis C? Tell you what, before you answer that question, this here's a report from the ADA saying that Dan never had hepatitis C.

BRYSON: I had an affair. I... I got hep C. I just... I needed a way to explain it to my husband.

BOOTH: Right, so maybe you killed Dan so your husband wouldn't find out the truth, or your husband did.

BRYSON: No. No, neither of those things happened.

BOOTH: On the day that Dan Pinard disappeared, he canceled all of his appointments so he could, uh, go see Dr. Hibbert. Only problem is, we can't find this Dr. Hibbert.

BRYSON: D-Dr. Hibbert is the name that Dan wrote in his appointment book when he canceled patients at the last minute.

BOOTH: Any idea who it might have been that day?

BRYSON: I was already fired.

BOOTH: Right.

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- the Jeffersonian Institute -- daytime.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. BOOTH and BRENNAN leave BRENNAN's office together, walking a circuit around the platform.)

BRENNAN: You ran a background check on Jared's girlfriend?

BOOTH: Well, yeah; you do things like that for people you care about.

BRENNAN: Do you do that when I go out with someone?

BOOTH: Look, Bones, you're the one who says not to jump to conclusions without all the facts.

BRENNAN: But you always say, in matters of the heart-...

BOOTH: Ah, the heart is just a muscle. See? I'm learning from you, huh? Anyways, this whole background check came up hinky.

BRENNAN: Hinky, how?

BOOTH: Four years ago, this woman was an escort. Jared's going to be crushed.

BRENNAN: Why? I'm sure she possesses sophisticated sexual skills, and if she's reformed...

BOOTH: She's just...reformed. She's a reformed escort.

BRENNAN: Well, maybe Jared already knows.

BOOTH: No, he doesn't know.

BRENNAN: How do you know he doesn't know?

BOOTH: Because, if he knew, he wouldn't be talking about getting married. He wouldn't be saying stuff like that. (sighs as BRENNAN walks away from him)

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab experiment room. HODGINS and VINCENT are fishing bones from the rhubarb bath as BRENNAN enters.)

HODGINS: Hey. Look what Vincent did; he turned our victim into rhubarb pie.

VINCENT: Uh, fractures are evident on at least half a dozen bones, including possible cause of death. (points to the skull)

BRENNAN: Hmm. Fracture to the glabellar region on the frontal bone. Head trauma could definitely be cause of death.

VINCENT: Tendonitis of the shoulder, broken ribs, knee trauma, and a nick to the ankle. That's all just the right side.

HODGINS: Sounds like he was tortured.

BRENNAN: He also had Bennett's fracture of the thumb, broken left clavicle, and his knee...

HODGINS: You know what? These are all common football injuries.

BRENNAN: Some of the injuries are over a decade old, but others show almost no remodeling, which means-...

VINCENT: He was still active in the sport.

HODGINS: A gay dentist who plays football.

BRENNAN: Do the significant looks you are exchanging mean that you doubt a gay man can play football and be a dentist?

VINCENT: No. I mean, for me, the answer is no. What I'm thinking is that American football is a bastion of testosterone-fueled masculinity.

HODGINS: Maybe one too many lingering glances in the locker room got him in trouble.

BRENNAN: What, does that happen often?

HODGINS: (as VINCENT chuckles) Yeah. I mean, with me, it happened all the time.

VINCENT: If I'd killed everyone who looked at me lustily, I wouldn't have made it out of school.

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Washington, D.C. -- daytime. BOOTH's truck drives past the Capital.)

(Cut to: Exterior -- Cardinals' football field -- daytime. COACH JASON HENDLER stands by as the Cardinals run a scrimmage during practice. The quarterback calls the play, and the subsequent sounds of men blocking one another precede BOOTH and BRENNAN's entrance onto the field.)

BOOTH: There's only one amateur full-contact league in the DC area, so it wasn't hard to find out which team Dan played for.

BRENNAN: Well, they are not unlike mountain rams that butt heads in an attempt to attract a mate. (watches as BOOTH catches a stray football) It's hard to believe that brain damage isn't a result.

BOOTH: It's amazing; you can even make football sound bad, Bones. (throws the football offscreen)

HENDLER: Come on, ladies... My little sister hits harder than that. Filmore, do you want me to get you a skirt?

BRENNAN: He's challenging their masculinity to enhance aggression.

BOOTH: That's coach talk; it's the way coaches talk. Let me handle this. Excuse me, Coach, FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. This here is my partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan. Like to ask you a few questions about Dan Pinard.

HENDLER: Yeah, well, he better be in prison; that's the only excuse I'll accept for how long he's been gone.

BOOTH: We found his body.

HENDLER: Oh, my God.

BOOTH: I'm sorry, did any of Dan's teammates or opponents have any problems with him?

HENDLER: What, he was murdered? (BOOTH nods) No. Oh, no. Uh, all the guys loved Dan.

BRENNAN: Is it possible that someone's masculinity was threatened, and that person killed Dan because he was a homosexual?

BOOTH: Way to ease into that one, Bones. That's smooth.

HENDLER: No, that's definitely not an issue with my guys.

BOOTH: What makes your team so highly evolved, Coach?

HENDLER: Meet the Cardinals, Agent Booth. We're all gay. (two players collide in front of them) Good hit!

ACT 3

(Fade in: Exterior -- Cardinals' football field -- daytime. The CARDINALS, which include a player named GREG, and HENDLER are gathered on the sidelines as BOOTH questions them.)

BOOTH: So, anybody here have any problems with Dan? Disagreements, arguments, fights?

GREG: Everyone here joined this team because a lot of the straight players don't want us on their teams. We're like family. No one here hurt Dan. No way.

BOOTH: And you're all...gay?

HENDLER: Oh, I suppose, statistically, we could have two or three straights who are still in the closet. (the team chuckles)

BRENNAN: (entering from off field) Booth, this is Dan's equipment bag. I found his protective headgear inside.

BOOTH: That's a helmet, Bones.

BRENNAN: There's blood on the inside of the lip. It approximates the location of the fracture on Dan's forehead. The force could have cracked his skull and killed him.

BOOTH: (to HENDLER) Are you sure nothing happened here? One of your guys, they probably could have hit Dan, you know, in practice a little too hard, try to cover it up.

HENDLER: What are you saying?

BOOTH: I mean, you lose your insurance, you're kicked out of the league. But, hey, it's just an accident, right? (to the CARDINALS) All right, I'll tell you what: Anybody who's got plans for this weekend, just cancel 'em.

HENDLER: (as the team grumbles) Because of blood on a football helmet?

BOOTH: Because of blood inside of a football helmet. Isn't that right, Bones?

BRENNAN: That's correct.

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab -- HODGINS' office. HODGINS is examining the spiders from the clay when VINCENT enters.)

VINCENT: I was draining the vat when I noticed these white things floating in the rhubarb stew. Spider eggs, right?

HODGINS: No. No, the boiling water would have destroyed the eggs.

VINCENT: So what are they?

HODGINS: (bring them up on the microscope) I have no idea.

VINCENT: Always glad to sow confusion. This man endured a remarkable amount of abuse. It must have been tough.

HODGINS: Yeah, this ain't England, pal; being gay in America is still a tough go.

VINCENT: I was referring to being a football player.

HODGINS: Yeah, I-I knew that.

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- the Jeffersonian Institute -- daytime.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab bone room. ANGELA MONTENEGRO is conversing with BRENNAN as she reexamines the victim's skeleton.)

ANGELA: Four years ago Jared's girlfriend was a hooker?

BRENNAN: Well, an escort. I believe, in the hierarchy of prostitution, an escort ranks equal to high-class call girl.

ANGELA: And now she teaches grade school?

BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. I don't see any other injuries to the bone that could be cause of death. That leads us back to the head trauma. Apparently the rule is: once a s*x worker, always a s*x worker.

ANGELA: You know, it really would have been better if Booth never ran her record.

BRENNAN: He said it was my influence, that it was the rational thing to do.

ANGELA: No, sweetie; he's rationalizing, which makes what he did irrational because he's rationalizing that Jared cannot make rational decisions for himself. You do the same thing all the time. Maybe that's what he learned from you.

BRENNAN: In order to be fatal, whatever struck the frontal bone had to be pointed enough to pierce the brain.

ANGELA: Now, wait a second... Is Booth going to tell Jared about this?

BRENNAN: I believe that's his plan.

ANGELA: What if Jared and this woman are really in love? Booth could ruin everything.

BRENNAN: Well, not if, as Booth always asserts, love conquers all.

ANGELA: Yeah, well, this is going to be one hell of a test case.

CAM: (entering) I ran blood tests on the items in Dan's athletic bag. I found evidence of someone else's blood. (pulls up the report on one of the computer screens)

BRENNAN: Football is a contact sport; there are bound to be traces of other people's DNA on his uniform.

CAM: This was more than a trace, and it wasn't on his uniform; it was all over his towel. We ran it through CODIS and got a match. (shows CYD ZIGLER's CODIS entry on the screen) 32-year-old man named Cyd Zigler.

(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- Break Room. BOOTH is sharing the new suspect's file with SWEETS as he makes himself a cup of coffee.)

BOOTH: Zigler is a firefighter and a former Marine. He lives in Greenbelt, Maryland. He plays for one of, uh, the other teams in Dan's league.

SWEETS: One of the straight teams?

BOOTH: Yeah, there's a big game. Zigler fumbles, uh, the victim recovers, scores a touchdown, game over.

SWEETS: Well, I doubt even a homophobe would kill for that.

BOOTH: Yeah, but a fight ensues.

SWEETS: Oh, so they fought? If Dan won a physical altercation, uh, in front of both teams, then there-there's a certain personality type that might feel impugned enough to strike back.

BOOTH: Go on.

SWEETS: (following BOOTH out of the break room toward his office) Gay guy beats up a certain type of straight guy, straight guy can't handle it.

BOOTH: Well, see, th-that's what I wanted to know.

SWEETS: Now, did the victim and Zigler have any contact since their fistfight?

BOOTH: Well, the two of 'em, they played against each other in a game the weekend before Dan disappeared.

SWEETS: Okay.

BOOTH: (finds JARED waiting for him in his office) Jared.

JARED: Hey, Seeley, your message sounded urgent. What's going on?

BOOTH: Uh... (whispered to SWEETS as he closes the door) Thanks for the gay insights.

SWEETS: (as he leaves) You're welcome.

(BOOTH turns and sighs.)

JARED: Oh... You got that big brother look all over your face, like the time you had to tell me the puppy I brought home was a rat.

BOOTH: (chuckles) Uh, well, um, that sort of happened again.

JARED: Okay, what the hell are you talking about?

BOOTH: There are some things that you need to know about Padme.

JARED: You ran a background check on my girlfriend?

BOOTH: What, no, she was arrested for prostitution four years ago.

JARED: Shut up, Seeley, shut up.

BOOTH: The charges, they didn't stick, but you need to know that she was an escort.

JARED: You just can't stand to see me happy, can you?

BOOTH: No, that's not true. If I were in your shoes, I'd want to know if my girlfriend was hiding something.

JARED: No, you wouldn't. Okay, I have watched you for years. I learned. You would make your own judgment. You wouldn't care what other people said. You'd say exactly what I'm gonna say: Go to hell. (exits the office)

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Hoover Building -- daytime.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- Interrogation Room. ZIGLER is sitting at the table, being questioned by BOOTH.)

ZIGLER: Look, I called him a fag, the dude kicked my ass. End of story.

BOOTH: You got a problem with gays?

ZIGLER: No, that was over a year ago. Look, what's this all about?

BOOTH: I'm trying to put together a sequence of events before Dan Pinard disappeared.

ZIGLER: Disappeared? Wh-What do you mean "disappeared?"

BOOTH: We, uh, found your blood on his towel.

ZIGLER: I-I cut myself during a game, a big gash on my leg. Danny used his towel to stop the bleeding. What do you mean "disappeared?"

BOOTH: He came up to you in the locker room and he presses that towel on your leg?

ZIGLER: I thought... I thought it was only me. I thought Danny didn't want to see me anymore. And, I-I called him, I...I went by his place a hundred times. Nothing.

BOOTH: Hmm. Why do you think he didn't want to see you again?

ZIGLER: 'Cause, I mean, Danny had it all figured...who he was. I wasn't ready.

BOOTH: To come out of the closet?

ZIGLER: For any of it. And, that made Danny mad sometimes, you know? Frustrated. Is Danny dead? (BOOTH nods) You, uh, you think I killed him. (takes a picture of himself and the victim out of his wallet and shows BOOTH) Danny was, uh... The only time I've ever been happy was with Danny. I wouldn't expect you to understand. I don't guess anyone would understand.

ACT 4

(Fade in: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. HODGINS and VINCENT are in the bone room examining the victim's remain, still searching for the cause of death.)

HODGINS: Looks like cause of death to me.

VINCENT: Cause of death, yes, yes, but I cannot discern the cause of the cause of death, so to speak.

HODGINS: Okay, bugs and slime, pal. Different discipline entirely, sorry.

VINCENT: (addressing the magnified image of the victim's skull on the computer screen) There appear to be three separate fractures on the skull. We-We couldn't see them before because all of the fracture lines connect.

HODGINS: Okay, so the victim was hit three times instead of once.

VINCENT: Dr. Brennan thinks that the brain was pierced when the skull was hit.

HODGINS: Brain piercing? Yeah, sounds very death-causing to me.

VINCENT: The beveling on the exterior of the skull suggests that all three fracture points emanate from inside the skull. His forehead exploded from the inside out.

HODGINS: Again, very deathy. Wait a minute. Wh-What would cause someone's forehead to explode from the inside?

VINCENT: I was hoping that you'd say it had something to do with those bulbous seedy jobbers that I thought were spider eggs.

HODGINS: No. I mean... Oh. Wow. (exits quickly)

VINCENT: Wow? What wow?

(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building. BOOTH, BRENNAN, and SWEETS are eating lunch and discussing the case in the Conference Room.)

BOOTH: So, Zigler was a Marine. He gets married to a woman, it lasts six years. Why?

BRENNAN: Why did his marriage last six years?

BOOTH: No, why did he get married?

SWEETS: Well, most likely Zigler was trying to conform to social norms.

BRENNAN: In many cultures, homosexuality is revered. Anthropologically, it makes no sense for heterosexuals to be threatened by homosexuals because they are actually removing themselves from competition for mates.

BOOTH: Right, so Zigler forces himself to conform, and the dentist comes along and forces, you know, Zigler to confront...

SWEETS: Zigler couldn't come to terms with his sexual orientation, so when the victim elicited this flood of unwanted feelings in him, he transferred the self-loathing from himself to the victim.

BRENNAN: Native Americans believed that homosexuals were of two spirits, held them in high esteem. So what's the problem?

BOOTH: It's no problem. Why are you looking at me like that? I was a soldier. I mean, gay guys...they saved my life in battle more than once.

BRENNAN: So, are you saying that if a former prostitute saved your life in battle, that would solve the problem with Jared's girlfriend?

SWEETS: What?

BOOTH: Seriously, you're going to bring that up in front of Sweets right now?

BRENNAN: It's a rational question.

SWEETS: I'm sorry... Jared's involved with a prostitute?

BRENNAN: Former. Former prostitute.

BOOTH: Bones.

BRENNAN: What?

SWEETS: Oh, did you run a background check on Jared's girlfriend?

BOOTH: Okay, why is everybody saying that to me like it's some sort of terrible thing?

SWEETS: 'Cause it's kind of terrible.

BOOTH: Look, I'm just looking out for my brother, that's all. So, can we just, you know, focus on the case?

SWEETS: Yeah... Uh, well, the fact that the suspect carries in his wallet a photo of them together...it doesn't really jibe with homosexual panic.

BOOTH: Great, thanks, that's all I need to know. I got enough. Thanks, appreciate it, Sweets. (exits)

SWEETS: (to BRENNAN) Wow, that was-...

BRENNAN: I have to go, too. (exits)

SWEETS: Thank you, Dr. Sweets, for your invaluable psychological insights into the human condition.

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab -- ANGELA's office. BRENNAN enters to find HODGINS, ANGELA, and VINCENT present.)

HODGINS: Do you know what Vincent Nigel-Murray is? He's a genius.

BRENNAN: Yes, but, so are we all. Except for Angela.

ANGELA: Oh, right. And yet, who do you turn to when you need pretty pictures?

VINCENT: Dr. Hodgins figured out what caused the fracture to the frontal bone.

HODGINS: Vincent found these small particulates floating in the rhubarb stew, right? Well, I identified them as silica phytolith, which is a...a razor-thin, clear, hard shell which protects seeds.

ANGELA: Now, the victim was tossed into the creek bed where his body quickly decomposed.

HODGINS: (as ANGELA queues up the simulation on the Angelator) Flooding from the rain washed the clay and debris into that creek bed, which encased the body. Now, in all that muck, three periwinkle seeds became embedded within the victim's skull.

BRENNAN: Okay.

HODGINS: It's called floral turbation. Over time, soft can become even harder than hard, like, uh, a sliver of grass that grows through cement.

VINCENT: The same kind of process that causes tree roots to destroy pipes.

BRENNAN: So a seedling fractured the frontal bone?

ANGELA: Three of them.

BRENNAN: So...head trauma was not cause of death. (as she exits) We have no cause of death.

VINCENT: Did she seem disappointed to anyone else? She definitely seemed disappointed to me.

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. Musical montage of BRENNAN in the bone room examining the skeleton meticulously one last time to try to find a cause of death. VINCENT walks past and tries to catch her attention in an effort to offer his assistance, but is ignored. He walks away just before BRENNAN appears to have found the cause of death.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab -- HODGINS' office. HODGINS and VINCENT are going over evidence.)

HODGINS: The pollen from the egg sack is from hickory pine trees, but they don't grow where the body was found.

VINCENT: She didn't even want me to help her examine the bones.

HODGINS: Okay, you're not listening to me.

VINCENT: Yes, the, um...the-the keening shriek of intern anxiety is interfering with my hearing.

BRENNAN: (entering) There is a slice on the medial malleolus.

VINCENT: Yes, uh, duly noted in my report.

BRENNAN: But you didn't note what that might mean.

VINCENT: I would, uh, most definitely have done so, if-if I had the slightest inkling of what it might mean.

BRENNAN: Whatever caused the nick on this bone must have cut the posterior tibial artery.

VINCENT: Oh, yes. Tissue. Um, posterior tibial artery wou-... Massive bleeding.

HODGINS: Dude, you should totally just toss culpability onto Cam.

BRENNAN: I need to know if the weapon that caused this left any trace in the bone.

HODGINS: Well, Vincent's rhubarb stew completely washed away all the surface particulates. (to VINCENT) See how that's done?

VINCENT: We can sand down the top layer of bones cells and analyze what lies beneath.

BRENNAN: (handing the bone to VINCENT before leaving) Thank you.

(HODGINS holds up a rotary saw. It turns on as VINCENT reaches for it, and VINCENT pulls his hand away.)

HODGINS: (turning the saw off as he hands it to VINCENT) My bad.

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab -- BRENNAN's office. CAM enters to find BRENNAN at her desk, working on her laptop.)

CAM: You can't blame Mr. Nigel-Murray; the nick was on the bone, but I should've realized the implications for the flesh, and I didn't.

BRENNAN: I agree.

CAM: Then why are you letting him worry that he's disappointing you?

BRENNAN: Mr. Nigel-Murray should be aware by now that I don't hold others to my level of expertise. Otherwise I'd have no one to help me.

CAM: How would he know that if you don't tell him?

HODGINS: (entering with VINCENT) Tungsten carbide, which is a compound used to coat various types of tools.

VINCENT: Including dental tools.

BRENNAN: (after a reaffirming nod from CAM) I distinctly remember saying to you once, "Good job, Mr. Nigel-Murray." I'm saying it again now.

VINCENT: Cheers. Brilliant, that.

BRENNAN: One of the suspects was Dan's dental hygienist...

CAM: Grace Bryson.

BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.

HODGINS: Hey, where does she live?

BRENNAN: Fairfax, Virginia.

HODGINS: Okay, the pollen I found in the sheet weaver spider's egg sack came from hickory pine trees. They don't grow where the body was found, but you can find them all over that part of Virginia.

CAM: Motive, theoretical weapon, spiders... That should be enough for an arrest.

(Fade in: Exterior establishing shot -- daytime. BOOTH's truck is traveling down a D.C. area street.)

(Cut to: Interior -- BOOTH's truck. BOOTH is driving BRENNAN and himself to BRYSON's house.)

BOOTH: So, according to Grace Bryson's statement, she and her husband were at a yoga retreat when Dan Pinard disappeared.

BRENNAN: Well, the retreat was in Silver Spring; that's close enough to drive back, kill Dan and then return to the spa.

BOOTH: Right. It could be both her and her husband.

BRENNAN: Hmm. When your gut speaks to you, do you think it could be an increase in stomach acid, due to anxiety?

BOOTH: Huh?

BRENNAN: I-I...feel some anxiety.

BOOTH: Okay, about what?

BRENNAN: About your sudden abandonment of a belief system. Really, it's-it's making my stomach upset.

BOOTH: Okay, you know what? You are really just, um...crack a window there, Bones, all right. Just get some air.

BRENNAN: You told me that my father's criminal past didn't matter, that the love between us was real and that was all that mattered. Because I believed you, my father and I have a relationship today.

BOOTH: Okay. I'm glad I could help out.

BRENNAN: But, I'm anxious because I can't see any meaningful difference between my father and your brother's girlfriend. Can you explain that to me? It's a question of logic, so I'm just going to be quiet now while you work your way through it.

(Cut: Exterior establishing shot -- daytime. BOOTH's truck travels down a D.C. street.)

(Cut to: Exterior -- BRYSON's house -- daytime. BRYSON is raking leaves as BOOTH and BRENNAN question her about her alibi.)

BRYSON: I already told you where I was: at the yoga retreat.

BOOTH: Yeah, we know that. But you would have had more than enough time to, uh, leave the retreat and return.

BRYSON: Well, I didn't, so, can you leave me alone?

BOOTH: After Dan fired you, you couldn't find a job, could you?

BRYSON: Well, that wasn't Dan's fault; that was the hepatitis.

BRENNAN: Ms. Bryson, do you own a set of dental tools?

BRYSON: Well, I had to buy a set when I was in school. Why?

BOOTH: Can we see 'em?

BRYSON: (sighs) No. Not without a warrant. (picks up a bag of leaves and walks toward the house, to a trashcan in the driveway)

BRENNAN: When did you put in this driveway?

BRYSON: Excuse me?

BRENNAN: When were these paving stones laid?

BRYSON: A few months ago. Is there something illegal now about doing home improvements?

BOOTH: What's going on, Bones?

BRENNAN: Look at the stones.

BOOTH: Well, you know these stones look just like the ones that were at Dan's house.

BRYSON: It's the same contractor: Lucas. I met him at Dan's office, before I was fired. Well, he said he had some extra materials left over from Dan's job and he could give me a good deal.

BOOTH: That's a scam; Lucas was reselling the supplies that Dan had already paid for.

BRYSON: Well, I didn't know that.

BRENNAN: Was Lucas working on the driveway when you were at the yoga retreat?

BRYSON: Yeah. He was finished by the time we got back. It was the fastest he ever finished anything.

BRENNAN: We need to dig these up.

BOOTH: Backhoe and a cement cutter.

(Cut to: Interior -- Jeffersonian Medico-Legal Lab. CAM is in the autopsy room working on a computer when BRENNAN enters.)

CAM: The bottom of the paving stones are covered in blood. All the samples I've taken are a match for the victim.

BRENNAN: He bled out on the ground, then it was paved over.

VINCENT: (entering with HODGINS) Behold, Lucas Pickford's grout scraper. He used it for installing the paving stones.

HODGINS: Coated in tungsten carbide.

CAM: Please tell me it's a match.

VINCENT: I-It is, in fact, a perfect match for the injury to the victim's ankle. (noticing BRENNAN's smile) Yeah? Cheers. Brilliant.

HODGINS: Hmm? No, she didn't say anything.

BRENNAN: I-I discerned a lovely...a little glint of approbation in her eye. (exits, followed by HODGINS)

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Hoover Building -- daytime.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Hoover Building -- Interrogation Room. PICKFORD is sitting at the table across from BOOTH and BRENNAN.)

PICKFORD: I-I admit it: We had an argument.

BRENNAN: About the paving stones?

PICKFORD: Yeah.

BOOTH: Did you call him something?

BRENNAN: A vulgar slur for "homosexual?"

PICKFORD: In the heat of the moment, maybe. I mean, but you should've heard what he was calling me. Dan knocked me down and he started kicking me. So I grabbed the-the scraper, and swung it at him to get him off me.

BOOTH: Self-defense.

PICKFORD: Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I-I'll admit it. It was self-defense.

BOOTH: Yeah, except, um, you didn't call 911.

BRENNAN: No. You just watched him bleed to death, and then you dumped his body in a ditch.

PICKFORD: If he charged me with theft, I lose my contractor's license, my whole livelihood, for what? A few dozen paving stones? The guy attacked me for a few dozen paving stones.

BOOTH: You robbed him, you lied about it, and you called him a "fag." To him, that was a big deal.

TAG

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Jefferson Memorial -- evening.)

(Cut to: Exterior establishing shot -- Founding Fathers.)

(Cut to: Interior -- Founding Fathers bar area. BOOTH and BRENNAN are sitting at a table near the bar.)

BRENNAN: I'm sure Jared wants to talk to you alone, Booth.

BOOTH: No, he asked for you to be here.

BRENNAN: I really don't want to be in the middle of a fight.

BOOTH: I'm not going to fight. There's going to be no fighting, I promise, all right? So, you really think I was wrong?

BRENNAN: I don't know if you were wrong, but I fail to see the point of being right.

BOOTH: Okay. I've really been thinking about what you said. What if I ruined it for him? What if he was really happy with her?

BRENNAN: I imagine you would never forgive yourself.

BOOTH: Thanks.

BRENNAN: Well, on the bright side, he might totally ignore you.

BOOTH: Great, thank you.

BRENNAN: Well, perhaps Jared will think for himself. Isn't that all you've ever really wanted for him?

BOOTH: Well-...

JARED: (entering with PADME) Hey, sorry we're late. Padme, this is Temperance Brennan.

PADME: Hi.

JARED: This is my, uh, brother's partner-slash-friend.

BRENNAN: Nice to meet you.

PADME: Pleasure.

JARED: So...here we are.

BOOTH: Think we can talk outside, privately?

JARED: No. Whatever you want to say, you can say to both of us. See, we don't have secrets, Seeley. Never did. About anything.

BRENNAN: I suspect Jared is implying that he already knew about Padme's past as an escort.

BOOTH: Great, thanks, Bones. I got that.

PADME: Jared and I have come to grips with...everything.

JARED: Yeah. So, the question is: Are you in or are you out?

BOOTH: I'm in.

JARED: That's good, 'cause, uh, I really wanted to know if you'd be my best man.

BOOTH: Wow. Uh...so soon. It's only been, what, a month?

JARED: Ow.

BOOTH: What?

BRENNAN: Oh.

JARED: Temperance, she kicked me under the table. Pretty sure she was aiming for you.

BOOTH: Definitely meant for me.

PADME: Well, if that's true, I like her.

BRENNAN: (standing) I'd like to make a toast.

JARED: What is this?

BOOTH: It's her new thing. She likes to make--... She's really good at making toasts, though. M-Maybe we should get some champagne, though.

BRENNAN: No, Jared is an alcoholic, Booth.

JARED: No secrets.

BRENNAN: When Booth and I first met, I didn't believe that such a thing as love existed. I maintained that it was simply brain chemistry. But, perhaps Booth is correct; perhaps love comes first, and then creates the reaction. I have no tangible proof, but...I'm willing to accept Booth's premise.

BOOTH: To love.

JARED: To love.

PADME: To love.

BRENNAN: To love.

(They all clink glasses. JARED whispers "To love" again to PADME before kissing her, as BOOTH says something undecipherable to BRENNAN. Fade to credits.)

END.