The Lonely Mutation of Baxter Stockman

,[Keyboard keys clacking.] [Ominous music.] [Sighs.] Baxter stockman [Gasps.] I ordered you to build me a mutant army, and you give me this? [Whimpers.] [Duck quacks.] No, no. Don't you see? It swims, flies, and know tae Kwon do. It's a triple threat. [Gasps.] And it quacks? Can it, stinkman. This is the last time you mess up. Mess up? But look at you, Rahzar. You're twice the dog. Uh, man you were before. [Snarls.] No, Bradford. I have a more suitable fate in mind. You have failed me too many times. No! I mean, please, master Shredder. I've got plans, huge plans. Mutant pigs and rhinos [grunts.] Pigs? And rhinos. What are you doing? No! The mutagen? You can't. I wouldn't be of any use to you as a mutant. Please, don't. [Mutagen collar beeping.] [Gasps.] I am not a man of idle threats. Heh, bet you'll end up. A bigger freak than me, stinkman. There's nothing wrong with idle threats! [Whimpering, wailing.] [Fly buzzing.] [Screams.] [Mutagen collar beeps flatly.] Huh? Oh. [Sighs.] Yes. Yes! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. [Glass shatters.] [Whimpering.] [Mutagen sizzling.] [Glass shattering.] [Screaming.] [Whimpering softly.] [Fly buzzes.] [liquid pouring.] Almost got it. Almost got it. Are we done yet, Donnie? We've been up for, like, a million hours. [Yawns.] Oh, no, no no worries, April. This time, it's gonna work. [Knob creaks.] We'll finally be able to turn your dad human again. Now I'm adding a sample of your DNA. [Chuckles.] So brace yourself. For the scientific breakthrough of the century! Retromutagen! [Snoring.] Okay, mutant cells. Please turn normal. Please turn normal. Oh. [Gasps.] Eureka. I did it! I really did it! Whoohoohoohoohoo! [Whoops.] You did it? You really did it? Did what? Invent pizza that doesn't get soggy in milk? I finally made it. Retromutagen, you guys! The key to turning Mr. o'Neil human again. And you too, Sensei. Human once more? Save April's father first, and then I will consider it. Ooh, what if I turned myself human again? I wonder what I'd look like. What up? We were never human to begin with, genius. We'd just turn back into turtles. Give me that. I've only got enough for two doses, one for April's dad. And one for Master Splinter. Can you make more of the stuff? Yeah, but it takes Ten canisters of mutagen. To refine just one tiny dose of Retromutagen, and I don't have any left. But at least we can find your dad. And change him back. Oh, I'm just speechless. Thank you. Thank you so much, Donnie. You're the best. Muah! [Babbling.] [Flies buzzing.] [Buzzes.] [Grunts.] Ooh. [Vomiting.] [Acid sizzling.] [Slurping.] [Belches.] [Panting harshly.] What am I? [Buzzes.] I'm nothing anymore. I'm a freak. I'll never be taken ssseriously. As a ssscientist. Oh, wait. Wait. [Panting.] Yesss. Yesss. [Buzzing.] Stockman DNA Mmmmmm Combined with purestrain human DNA. [Buzzes.] I could be normal again. Better than normal. Twice the man stockman was. Stinkman. Where are you? I want to see what you turned into. [Buzzing.] Come on out. [Fluorescent lights humming erratically.] [Growls.] Scared to show yourself, stinkman? It's not like you can get much uglier. Huh? [Growls.] Show yourself, mutant. [Spits.] [Yells.] [Growls.] [Growls.] [Screeches.] [Slurping.] Dad. All right, April. Hang back. We don't want to rile up your dad like last time. But I can help. I can calm him down. Last time you tried that, he took you to his nest. And tried to feed you dead rats. Good point. [Buzzing.] All right. Got to do this quick. Raph and Mikey, we can't let him escape. Donnie, spray him fast. It's the Turtlesss! They're close. Now I have the power to squash them like bugs! [Snoring quietly.] [Yelps.] [Startles, screeches.] Dad, no! [Screeching.] Sssentimental humansss. Give me the Retromutagen. Now! [All gasp.] Another mutant? Retromutagen. Mine! [Yelps.] No! Get your claws off that vial. [Both grunt.] [Yells.] No! [Retromutagen sizzling.] [Yells angrily.] [Screams.] Let me go, you ugly germ farm! [Grunts.] [Screams.] Silenccce! I know who that is. It's Derek Stockboy! It's Baxter Ssstockman! Come to my lab. And you will bring more Retromutagen, or the girl mutates with me! [Screams.] Wow, we really messed that one up. I only have one vial left. It'll take months to synthesize more. Don't worry, Donnie. We'll get her back. And make her dad human again. Let's hope so. Let's really hope so. Ugh! Aw, man, what am I gonna do? Save April and Mr. o'Neil. But what about Master Splinter? What about me? [Yelps.] Oh, um [Chuckles.] Hey, Sensei. Leonardo informed me of the situation. You must split up to rescue April. And to find her father. [Sighs.] I'm sorry, Sensei. This is all the Retromutagen I have left. I may not be human, but I am fortunate enough to have my humanity. Save Kirby. All right, who's the soon to be slapshotted goon. That kidnapped April? Long story, Casey. We need your help bigtime. And yes, you'll get to hit someone with a hockey stick. Probably more than once. Heh. Yes! So you and me are batwrangling tonight, Mikey. Aww, yeah! You know what that means, right? Please don't. The return to Turflytle, dog! You annoy me to no end. Buzz buzz is buzz back! Buzz! [Grunting.] Ssstay! Baxter, you don't have to do this. Donnie can help you. He can make more Retromutagen. It'll only take a few months I mean, hours! If he fails, I have a backup plan. So do I. [Grunts.] [Gasps.] Nnnno escape! [Cat meows, hisses.] [Screeches.] [Pulley squeaking.] [Gasps.] You go here, and I presses a button. You fall! And I I jump in. We cccome apart and then we come together. You, me, as one. More human than I am now. Baxter, listen to me. Dropping us into a vat of ooze isn't going to save you. You got to trust me on that. [Vomits.] [Slurping.] No! This is only way. Only way! Stockmanfly ccccannot trust anyone. [Fly buzzing.] [Slaps.] Turtles! You tried, yesss. Tried to sneak in. No Retromutagen, no trade. I got your Retromutajunk right here! [Electric guitar music.] [Spits.] [Grunting.] [Buzzing.] [All grunting.] [Dramatic music.] Whoa! Whoaoaoaoa! [Grunts, screams.] [Spitting.] Baxter, stop. Let us help you. We don't want to hurt you. [Grunts.] [Snaps.] Well, Casey does. Ah! Um, guys? Little help here? [Grunting.] Not fast enough. [Screaming.] April! Two become one! Eat it, bug! [Grunts.] [Grunts.] Is she. [coughing.] Blegh, nice catch, Donnie. April! You're okay! But how did [gasps.] You're immune to mutagen! Whwhoa! That's why your DNA worked to create Retromutagen. [Yells.] Amazing. I'll devour you all! I'll drink you like blobs of delicious filth! Augh! Buzz buzz! Help me! Buzz buzz! [Screeching.] [Yelling.] Got him on the run, Leo! Get over here before I let him eat Mikey. No problem. We're on our way. Get your claws off of me! [Explosion booms.] [Roars.] I heard you say Retromutagen. I can become human again? On second thought, we might be a little late. Bring me that vial. [Footbots screeching.] Time to go! [Metallic clashing.] [Roars.] Back, you hideous arthropod! Give me Retromutagen! Get off of him! [Grunting.] [Buzzes.] No! [Grunts.] We found April's dad. Let's get out of here. No escape! No escape. [Footbot beeping weakly.] Get me that vial before stinkman uses it. That Retromutagen belongs to me. [Tires squealing.] It's gaining on us! Firing garbage Cannon! Mmm, delicious. Take a right! Whoa! [Groaning.] Now a left! Dad's this way. Whoaoa! How do you know? I just do. I told you I get certain feelings about things. Faster, Leo! Another right! [Grunts.] [Yelling.] [Screeching.] Raph! Kirbybat wants to suck. My turtle blood! Help! Maybe I'll give him just a little taste. Raph! I'm kidding. I'm kidding. [Grunts.] [Screeches.] [Groaning.] Wait! April? Let me talk to him. [Groaning.] Stay calm, dad. [Snorting in alarm.] We're here to help you. Just calm down. Calm. [Snorts, coos.] Sorry this took so long, Mr. o'Neil. Just a quick spray on your skin And you'll be good as new. [Buzzing.] I have it! Mine. Mine! Seriously? Again? [Footbots screeching.] Flying footbots? Dude, this is getting out of control. Let's move, turtles. [Grunting.] Now, let's get that vial back. Turflytle and his sidekick maggot boy to the rescue! Maggot boy! I'm gonna make you eat That stupid costume. April, you and Casey stay put. And keep an eye on your dad. [Sighs.] You getting one of those feelings again? Nope, just a bad idea. [Buzzing.] [Growls.] Stupid childproof Cap. Taste the sting of Turflytle! Ah! Buzz buzz! Ha! Nice hit, tur. Er, Mikey. [Footbots screeching.] [Grunts.] Hey! Whoaoaoa, whoa! [Grunting.] You like that? [Grunts.] Ha! Yes! Get him, dad! Knock him out of the sky! [Screeches.] So we're, like, riding your giant mutant dad? This is so weird. [Yells.] Got it! No! [Yelling.] [Cat screeches.] [Groaning.] Whoa! [Yelling.] Swallow this, you ugly goopdrooling. Whoa! [Buzzes, spits.] Ugh, gross. Catch up to him! He's getting away! Oh, no, you don't! Get him, dad! [Screeches.] At last. [Grunts.] Yes! [Grunts.] [Groaning.] There! [All grunt.] Go, dad! No! [Growls.] [Grunts.] [Screeches, grunts.] [Dramatic music.] [Shimmering tone.] [Screeches.] [Screeching.] [Grunting.] [Screeching, snorting.] All right! Yes! Whoohoo! Kirby's back! Dad! I can't believe it. I missed you so much! Aapril? What happened? Where am I? And why am I nude? Dude, when you hear what happened, you are gonna laugh so hard! You did it, Donnie! You're the best of the best of the best! Muah! Two kisses in one day. Eat it, Casey Jones. Eat it! [Cackles.] Bow chika bow bow! [Yelps.] Heh. No sign of stockmanfly. Add him to the list of stray, mutated bad guy freaks Running around New York. Stockmanfly is Turflytle's ultimate superhero enemy, buzz buzz. But if he's out there, buzz buzz, I'll find him, buzz bu. Enough with the buzz buzz! Okay. Don't. Don't. Buzz buzz, dog. [Yells.] I'm sorry, Master Splinter. I wanted to change you back. But I swear, if it's the last thing I do, I'll. Do not fret, my son. I am content with what I have become. I have no place in the human world anymore. This is my home, and you four are my family. [Buzzing weakly.] [Growling.] Well, look at you, stinkbug. I'd squash you right here, but Shredder has other plans for you. I have one last mutant I want you to create, or I will pluck your wings like the lowly insect you are. Yes, master Shredder. [Buzzes.] Thank you for your generosity [Vomits.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-2012&episode=s02e16