The Opera in the Outback Caper

Theme music playing.

Player (in an Australian accent): G'day, mate! Crikey! Australia's one big country!

Carmen: That's some accent, Player.

Player: Been practicing. I wanted to brush up on the latest leg of your nonstop tour, Red. So, what's playing at the famous Sydney Opera House tonight?

Carmen: Something V.I.L.E. won't care to see if they decide to show. Carmen.

Player: Whoa. Good sign, or bad omen?

Carmen: Depends. Don't most operas have tragic endings?

Player: Like I ever sat through one. But check it out. This Carmen's a gypsy, she likes to read, and she hangs out with smugglers.

Carmen: Guess I have a new BFF.

A song from Carmen plays as the performance takes place on stage.

Player: So... what's going on with Carmen, Carmen?

Carmen: Nothing suspicious so far. If a V.I.L.E. operative's here, they have yet to show their face.

Gray: You there!

Carmen: Scratch that.

Gray: What are you doing back here?

Carmen: You first.

Gray: What? I'm working!

Carmen: I know. "Lights out, baby." Come on, Gray. What job are you pulling tonight?

Gray: First, it's Graham. And second, since electricians don't seem to intimidate you, I'll be more than happy to have security escort you out.

Carmen: Wait, what? You don't expect me to believe this innocent act, do you?

Gray: No wristband, no backstage access. I don't make the rules.

Carmen: You... really don't remember me?

Gray: Fashion statement aside, Mate, you'd be hard to forget. If there is a next time, I promise not to make that mistake again.

Carmen: Guess you just, uh... remind me of someone I used to know.

Gray: I have one of those faces. Enjoy the show.

Carmen: Player, did you...

Player: Yeah, I heard all of it. So what's your old classmate's game?

Carmen: Not sure he has one. He had no idea who I was. What did they do to him?

Player: Red, our intel indicates a V.I.L.E. operative's inside the opera house right now. Crackle worked there as an electrician before you knew him at V.I.L.E. Academy. He knows the layout. How can you be sure he isn't playing you?

Carmen: Besides the look in his eye? I'm staring at another V.I.L.E. operative right now. It's Le Chevre, and he's brought some sort of shiny new toy.

She steals it from him.

Chevre: Ugh! Carmen?

Carmen: Do you mean me, or the opera?

He scurries toward her on the rafters.

Carmen: What have we here?

''He launches at her, causing her to drop the device and nearly fall off the rafters. The device falls to a lower rafter. He goes to retrieve it while Carmen gets down safely. When he picks it up, he puts in earplugs.''

Chevre: This will do.

''Carmen takes it. They fight for it. Ultimately, he grabs it and activates it, causing waves to be emitted. The soundboard and lights fizzle. The singer on stage finishes her aria, apparently unaware of anything happening.''

Carmen: What was that all about? Player, I have no idea what I just heard, but it had to be a V.I.L.E. note.

Player: Good thing I was in record mode. Let's play it back and find out.

On a screen, Le Chevre hums a few notes from the aria.

Chevre: Phase one accomplished, Dr. Bellum. The seed has been planted.

Bellum: Superb. But skip the singing. You bleat like a goat. Oh, and did you happen to see my dear boy?

Chevre: El Topo? He is tunneling, according to plan.

Bellum: Not your dear boy. Mine. Crackle. Such a fine student. I shall never forget him.

Chevre: And he shall never remember us. [laughs]

Bellum: I would not make light, Le Chevre. Slip up on the job like he did, and I could be draining your brain-pan someday.

Chevre: Uh... [clears throat] And on the topic of former students, a certain Carmen made a guest appearance at tonight's performance of Carmen.

Bellum: Then I do hope she had the opportunity to hear my remix.

''Player's analysis is complete. A sound file is playing on his computer.''

Bellum: Launch the Boomerang. Launch the Boomerang. Launch the Boomerang.

Carmen: It's Dr. Saira Bellum. Not exactly the voice of an angel.

Player: Concealed in the sound wave projected from Goat Boy's device. Most likely a subliminal message, designed to make the listener follow its command.

Carmen: As in, that's one tune I don't want stuck in my head.

Player: As in, let's hope it isn't. You were at the opera too.

Carmen: Except I wasn't the target. I don't have a boomerang to launch, whatever that means.

Player: Thought you'd never ask. There's only one launchable Boomerang I could find, a rocket, and it happens to be right there in Australia. It's owned by HelioGem, a private company with a 4 billion dollar space flight contract. So I poked around the data in V.I.L.E.'s hard drive, and guess what. Your former teachers have been trying to get a piece of the space flight business too.

Carmen: And all this has what to do with an opera?

Player: My thought exactly, which is why I hacked into the opera house box office and HelioGem's employee database. And one name in common turned up. Dr. Jeanine Dennam, lead engineer of the Boomerang and avid opera buff. Guess who purchased a ticket for tonight's performance of Carmen.

Carmen: So Bellum's subliminal message was directed at Dr. Dennam.

Player: You got it. And I imagine whatever tune happened to be playing at that time would trigger her into obeying the command. I just can't figure out what the Villains International League of Evil would have to gain by forcing her to launch her own rocket.

Carmen: Considering it's V.I.L.E., I say we hightail it to HelioGem ASAP and see if we can't find out.

Player: Easier said than done, Red. The HelioGem base is pretty deep in harsh outback territory. I'd recommend finding a guide.

Carmen: Found one.

Player: Wait, Crackle again? You're playing with a live wire, Red. Don't forget, he once tried to electrocute you on a train.

Carmen: On direct orders from V.I.L.E., whom he doesn't seem to know even exists anymore.

She glides down on her hang-glider and approaches Gray.

Gray: Hey, I remember you. Ol' Red Sneakeroo.

Carmen: Good memory.

Gray: Not really. So... looking to get backstage for an autograph?

Carmen: No. To the outback for some sight-seeing. Thought you could be my guide.

Gray: I wish. Something fried the soundboard tonight. I have to pull an early morning shift to troubleshoot.

Carmen: You mentioned having a bad memory. Why's that?

Gray: Well, I... I-I kind of messed up on the job a while back, got a little "jolt" as we sparkies say. Complete blackout, long hospital stay, blah, blah. Heh. There's more than an entire year of my life I can't remember.

Carmen: A whole year?

Gray: I'd say I'm lucky to have my job back if electrician weren't such a dangerous occupation.

Carmen: Oh, I can think of worse ones. Is this the address of an outback guide?

Gray: A good guide's easy to find online. This is the address of my favorite Cafe in Sydney. I'll be there Friday night at 8pm. You?

Carmen: Let's see if I make it back from my tour in one piece.

Gray: Hey, I never got your name!

Carmen: Carmen.

He laughs.

Gray: You are a cheeky one.

Player: The outback: It may sound like someone's backyard, but it's a huge wilderness that covers more than 80% of Australia. That's over half the size of the US or China.

Carmen: Tons of room to roam for all the local critters, like dingoes, crocodiles, and kangaroos.

Player: Yo, what's up, joey?

Carmen: Smack in the middle of all that real estate sits Ayers Rock.

Player: Whoa! What kind of rock is 2 miles long and over 1,000 feet tall?

Carmen: One the Aboriginal people who live there consider sacred. Their name for it is Uluru.

Player: Just be careful, Red. Like I said, there's some pretty harsh terrain out there in the outback.

''They drive across the outback. Driving is their tour guide, Miro.''

Zack: I hear kangaroos are wicked good boxers. Ever go a few rounds with one, Miro?

Miro: I can't say that I have.

Zack: Oh well, how about a crocodile? Ever wrestle one of those?

Miro: No, sorry.

Zack: Ooh, what about koalas? Are they really as vicious as everyone says they are? Oh, no wait, is that dingoes?

Ivy: What about that rock, Zack? I'd shove it in your mouth to shut you up, but I don't think it's big enough.

Carmen: Uluru.

Miro: Very good. The ground it occupies has been home to my people for at least 22,000 years.

Carmen: We're on sacred land.

Miro: That's right.

Player: Yo, Red.

Carmen: Excuse me, Miro.

Player: Good news. Turns out HelioGem delayed the launch of the Boomerang to do some serious repair work. The rocket's defective. So there's no launch to stop. Boy will V.I.L.E. be surprised.

Carmen: No, this is their plan.

Player: What?

Carmen: Miro, how far are we from HelioGem?

Miro: It's not too far outside the park boundaries.

Carmen: Player, what happens if a defective rocket prematurely launches?

Player: Depends on the defect. It might not achieve orbit.

Carmen: Or explode before it reaches the atmosphere, raining debris down on sacred Aboriginal land? The public outcry would be so great, HelioGem would lose their contract.

Player: Paving the way for V.I.L.E. to step in and take it over, since they pulled strings to make it look like HelioGem's incompetence was at fault.

Carmen: We have to prevent the desecration of Uluru.

Miro: You aren't tourists, are you?

Carmen: We're rocket scientists.

They arrive at HelioGem.

Carmen: Divide and conquer, crew. We know the trigger's in the music. You two need to find Dr. Dennam and make sure she doesn't decide she's in the mood to hear Carmen.

Ivy: We hear you, Carmen. [to Zack] Our boss, not the opera.

Carmen: And I'll see to it no one launches the Boomerang until it's ready to soar.

They split up.

Carmen: Player, let's steal some launch codes.

''She gets in and looks around. Zack and Ivy sneak around. They locate Dr. Dennam, who is about to listen to music.''

Ivy: There she is! ...Oh no! Dr. Jeanine Dennam, stop!

Dennam: Pardon?

Ivy: We're... your new interns.

Dennam: You are?

Ivy: So, what you listening to, Doc?

Dennam: Uh, a podcast about exploring Proxima b.

Ivy: Not an opera?

Dennam: Goodness, I find opera far too distracting when I'm working.

''Ivy sighs in relief. Zack has taken her headphones and is listening.''

Zack: Haha, whoa! This guy says there's a second Earth that might have aliens on it! We have got to visit this planet.

Carmen is typing on a computer.

Carmen: And... I'm in.

Player: Good thing, Red. Because it would take me hours to hack through the HelioGem firewalls from where I sit.

The keyboards part to reveal a large red button.

Carmen: Whoa, that's a big button.

Player: System default. Once you delete the launch codes, it'll retract. Until then, just don't press it, whatever you do.

Chevre: Are you ready, Mon Ami?

Topo: Hold on to your horns, Mi Amigo, for the show is about to begin.

''El Topo has connected a computer to a satellite and begins to play the aria. It begins to blast through speakers.''

Dennam: ...Then my colleagues found me huddled in the corner of the laboratory, weeping. [sigh] Puccini never fails to reduce me to tears. That was the day I decided the laboratory is no place for opera.

The song starts to play through the speakers in the lab.

Dennam: Ah! I love Bizet! ...Launch the Boomerang. Launch the Boomerang.

Ivy and Zack: Uh-oh!

Ivy: We can't let her get to mission control.

Dennam: Launch the Boomerang.

Ivy: No Boomerangs this way, that's for sure.

Dennam, undeterred: Launch the Boomerang.

Zack: What do you wanna do that for, anyway?

She does not react to anything.

Dennam: Launch the Boomerang.

Ivy: You got some determination, Doc.

Dennam: Launch the Boomerang.

Zack: All this talk about lunch is making me hungry.

Ivy: Focus, Zack!

Dennam: Launch the Boomerang.

Ivy has retrieved a hose and uses it to bind Dr. Dennam.

Dennam: Launch the Boomerang.

''Despite not being able to walk, she hops forward. Zack and Ivy pick her up.''

Zack: The lab is totally no place for opera.

Dennam: Launch the Boomerang. Launch the Boomerang.

They shut her inside a room.

Zack: Oh-ho-ho! We did Carmen wicked proud! Our boss, not the opera.

Player: One more sequence should do it.

The aria begins to play through the speakers in the computer room, and Carmen goes into a trance too.

Carmen: Launch the Boomerang. Launch the Boomerang. Launch the Boomerang.

Player: The subliminal message! Red, snap out of it!

Carmen: Launch the Boomerang. Launch the Boomerang.

She presses the button.

Carmen: Launch the Boomerang.

Man's Voice: Launch sequence activated. Liftoff in T-minus 3 minutes.

Carmen: Launch the Boomerang.

''Alarms go off. The rocket's engine starts up.''

Zack: Whoa! Sweet subwoofer.

Ivy's phone goes off.

Ivy: Player?

Player: Guys, Carmen activated the rocket. It launches in less than 3 minutes!

Ivy: What!?

Zack: Carm went to the dark side!?

Player: She's hypnotized, and she'll stay that way as long as that music's playing. I've pinpointed the audio source. It's coming from a utility tunnel under the facility. You need to shut it down so Carmen can snap to her senses. We need her to disable the rocket.

Ivy: I can handle that last part. Go axe a DJ, Bro.

''He runs to where El Topo is. Ivy runs to the rocket.''

Player: Okay, Ivy, you'll need to get to the control panel and remove the launch drive.

Ivy: What control panel?

Player: It's on the rocket's payload. Top of the tower.

Ivy: Ooh, that's really up there...

Chevre: 90 seconds to launch.

With his binoculars, he looks at the rocket and sees Ivy climbing up.

Chevre: You cannot out-climb a goat!

Zack: Have you not heard the alert, mate?

Topo: What alert?

Zack: The dingo alert. The doggies are going wild out there. It's... It's the high notes. They, uh... gets them all crazed and bloodthirsty!

Topo: Do they come below ground?

Zack: Heh-heh, I'm a rocket scientist, not a zookeeper. Oh, uh, but they're out there, and they mangled some French dude!

Topo: Le Chevre!

''He runs out. Zack goes to the computer.''

Carmen: Launch the Boomerang.

Zack has ripped out some cables.

Zack: Nails on a chalkboard.

Carmen: Launch the Boomera--

She comes to and takes in the current situation.

Carmen: What!? What have I done?

Ivy: Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

''It's getting close to launch. She pries the door open and is about to stop it, one minute left, when Le Chevre grabs her ankle and throws her off the platform. She grabs onto his arm.''

Chevre: What!? Let go!

She climbs over him to get back onto the platform.

Ivy: Get out of my way!

Chevre: My face!

''They fight and end up falling off the platform. Ivy is holding onto the side of the rocket, and Le Chevre is holding onto Ivy.''

Ivy: Oh boy.

Topo, in the car: Le Chevre, it is safe to come down. The dingoes have all gone.

Chevre: What are you talking about? ...Enjoy the flight.

He swings himself and then lands on a lower platform.

Ivy: You can't leave me here! I'm no space cadet!

''She tries to climb up, but nearly falls. 10 seconds to launch. She loses her grip and starts to fall, but is saved by Carmen and her grappling hook.''

Carmen: I've got you.

''Letting Ivy hit the platform, Carmen pulls the hardware right out of the rocket, stopping its launch. The engine stops, and Miro breathes a sigh of relief. There were only 2 seconds left on the clock.''

Carmen: Good work, Ivy.

Ivy: Number two, huh? I think I just did that in my pants.

''Gray is waiting at the cafe. Carmen approaches.''

Player: Remember, Red. Crackle once tried to--

Carmen: Turn out my lights with a sizzle stick, I know, but... before he was Crackle, he was Gray. And Gray was like a big brother to me. I thought I lost him for good, but this could be... I don't know... some sort of do-over? A second chance?

Player: Okay, let's say that I buy that Gray, Crackle, Graham, whoever really is a happy electrician with a bright future now. We know Dr. Bellum's into mind-control experiments. What if she played him some opera music too? What if V.I.L.E. is waiting to see you with him so they can flip a switch? Bam. Instead of launching a rocket, Crackle's crunching a Carmen.

Carmen: You have a point, Player. I can't let V.I.L.E. see me with him. But not for my safety. For his.

Player: What? Why?

Carmen: For whatever strange reason, Gray has a fresh start now. And having Carmen Sandiego back in his life would only complicate that.

Maelstrom: My star student. Thank you for coming. I was wondering if you would be up for a certain task. Bring me the hat of Carmen Sandiego.

The student before him turns an origami sheep into an origami throwing star and throws it at a skeleton, slicing its skull clear off.

Maelstrom: I will take that as a "yes."

Ending credit music plays.