A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow up, Timmy Turner!


 * [First lines of the movie]
 * Wanda: He's so cute when he sleeps!
 * Cosmo: Our little angel!
 * Wanda: Shh, don't wake him up!
 * Both: Happy birthday, Timmy!
 * Timmy: Wanda? Cosmo? What are you guys, crazy?
 * Wanda: You're a grown man still wearing horsey pajamas and you're asking us if we're crazy?
 * Cosmo: Crazy with excitement!


 * Timmy: Yep, my birthdays just keep getting better every year, thanks to you guys!
 * Wanda: Don't we always have the best time?
 * Cosmo: I can't tell time!
 * [Jorgen suddenly enters the room in a flash of lightning and a puff of smoke]
 * Jorgen: Timmy Turner! This is the last birthday party you and your fairies will ever have together! [gives Timmy a present] By the way, happy birthday.
 * Timmy: [opening his present] Da Rules?
 * Jorgen: Yes! And look at this, right here! Page 14-38, paragraph 3, subsection D!
 * Timmy: [reading] "A godchild loses his fairies when he grows up..." Not me.
 * Cosmo and Wanda: Yay!
 * Timmy: "...he leaves home..." Not me.
 * Cosmo and Wanda: Yeah!
 * Timmy: "...or experiences life's true magic - love." [Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof gasp]
 * Jorgen: Well?
 * Timmy: Again, not me. The only girl I've ever kissed was Tootie. It was thirteen years ago, it was forced upon me, and I did not enjoy it.
 * Cosmo: Look out!
 * [A thought balloon of young Tootie making a kissy face appears beside Timmy's head; Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Jorgen all grimace at it]
 * Timmy: Anyway, she moved away and no one ever saw her again. So, love - not even an issue.
 * Wanda: True! According to Timmy's Love Meter, he's not in love!
 * Jorgen: This is not a game! The longer you keep Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof, the more you put them in danger of being exposed or captured!
 * Timmy: Like I said, not an issue! Relax! Have some cake.
 * Jorgen: Keep your cake for the inevitable fairy-go-bye-bye party. I will find a way. I will make you grow up! I am Jorgen, the most powerful fairy ever! [disappears]
 * Cosmo: Can I have some cake?


 * Timmy: [regarding his parents' birthday gifts for him] The want ads?
 * Mr. Turner: [gasps] Really? Ooh! They need unskilled workers at that new dynamite factory! Sounds exciting and dangerous!


 * [After Timmy collides with Vicky's sign]
 * Vicky: Well, look who it is trashing my day care center - the biggest twerp in Dimmsdale, Timmy Turner!
 * Timmy: Yeecch. Icky Vicky. [kids giggle] Still molding young minds, I see.
 * [The kids start shaking their squirtable cheese containers]
 * Vicky: Don't you shake your ba-bas at me! It's not snack time till I say it's snack time!
 * Timmy: And nothing enhances snacktime like moldy rotten string cheese in your ba-bas, huh kids?
 * [The kids start squirting their string cheese at Vicky.]
 * Vicky: Aaaaahhh! Aaaaahhh! This isn't over, Timmy Turner!


 * Mr. Crocker: Riddle me this, class! How does a 23-year-old man still manage to stay in the fifth grade all these years? How'd he do it? How is it even possible, hmmm?
 * Katie: Oh boy, here we go.
 * Mr. Crocker: Yes! [snaps fingers] Now I remember! He has... [children gasp and cover their ears] ...FAIRY GODPARENTS!! FAIRY GODPARENTS!! FAIRY GODPARENTS!! Ohh...
 * Timmy: Well, I've been in this class for thirteen years. How come no one's ever seen these fairy godparents?
 * Mr. Crocker: Oh, they will, Turner. See, I know you're remaining childlike in order to keep your FAIRIES! But I'll play along with your game, 'cause soon I will catch them. And then, it will be I, Mr. Denzel Crocker, who will be making the wishes around here!!! [the students stare at him] Heh. Go on... make a wish. I dare you.
 * Timmy: OK. [Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof appear as the badges on Timmy's backpack] I wish you had the atomic runs.
 * Mr. Crocker: [makes uncomfortable noises] Oooh. I need to use the restroom. Silent study until I return! Enjoy this one, Turner... because it will be your last.


 * Katie: Best day ever! Crocker has diarrhea.
 * Ravi: And school has let out early due to impending tornadoes...
 * Howie: ...when it's totally sunny out! Crazy, huh, Mouse?
 * Timmy: Crazy? If gettin' out of school early on my birthday and having more time to be a kid is crazy, well then people, slap me in a straightjacket!


 * Cosmo: We're so proud of you, Timmy!
 * Wanda: We'll always be together.
 * Timmy: You got that right! There's nothing in this world that I'd ever give you guys up for.
 * [Suddenly, Timmy sees Tootie walking by and is so lovestruck by her that he doesn't see where he's going and collides with a mailbox, falling off his bike.]
 * Cosmo: Timmy! Are you okay?
 * Timmy: Yeah.
 * Cosmo: Good! Then can we do it again? It was fun!


 * Magnate: Ladies and gentlemen, ever since Daddy slapped a shovel in my little hand, I have been looking for fuel to run our everyday lives. And so, when my high-tech thermal satellites detected a massive untapped combustible resource field under the city, I decided to come here to Dummsdale and... see for myself. [laughs]
 * Janice: Dimmsdale.
 * Magnate: What?
 * Janice: Dimmsdale.
 * Magnate: Well whatever. Dim, Dumm, what difference does it make? By the time I'm done with the place, you're gonna want to change its name to Stinking-Richdale!


 * Chester: Look who it is - Mr. Never Grew Up, Timmy Turner.
 * A.J.: He's checkin' us out!
 * Chester: Just like the ladies.
 * [Two girls nearby groan at them.]
 * A.J.: Yeah, that's right, Timmy T. Looks like A.J.'s all grown up and stylin' in a brand-new argyle sweater.
 * Chester: And me, professional security expert, fighting crime with my smarty melon and multiple keys on a retractable wire! [bites into his sandwich, causing ketchup to spill on A.J.'s sweater] He's just jealous.


 * Wanda: Timmy's staring at that girl!
 * Cosmo: I'll give him a slushee! [makes a slushee appear in Timmy's hand] See? It worked! [Timmy starts sipping the slushee and continues staring at Tootie] Oh wait, he's still staring.
 * Tootie: There's nothing wrong with the old Dimmsdale! And there's nothing wrong with the Dimmsdale Dogwood...
 * [Magnate snaps his fingers and his two goons start chasing Tootie. Timmy watches as she flips over a police line barrier and rushes towards the Dogwood tree.]
 * Timmy: Nice move!
 * Tootie: [as she chains herself to the tree] ...the tree I grew up with and climbed in this very park!
 * Magnate: Listen, Sister Suzie Saffron Wheat-Grassgulper, whatever your tree-hugging name is. You don't wanna mess around with Hugh J. Magnate Jr. So why don't you just toddle off to your yurt or wherever home is.
 * Tootie: This is home. I was raised right here in Dimmsdale! And the name's not Saffron Sippin' Wheat-Grass Gurglin' anything, it's Tootie!
 * [Timmy does a spit take and Cosmo and Wanda's eyes pop]
 * Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda: Tootie!?
 * Cosmo: Here it comes again!
 * [A thought balloon of young Tootie giggling appears beside Timmy's head]
 * Magnate: I suggest you move your conifer-kissing keister, missy.
 * Tootie: Not gonna happen. Not if you're gonna knock down this tree.
 * Magnate: Well, have it your way. Boys! Tear down this tree.
 * Timmy: She is awesome!
 * Cosmo and Wanda: Awesome?!


 * Timmy: Hey, you can't tear down that tree with a girl chained to it!
 * Magnate: Don't get your knickers in a bunch, pimple-monkey! She'll move; they always do. [Janice glares at him] Well, they usually do.


 * Timmy: Tootie? Wow, I-I-I-I gotta tell ya, that was incredible!
 * Tootie: Timmy Turner. [giggles] Look at you! You haven't changed a bit. Not even a little.
 * Timmy: Where have you been?
 * Tootie: Oh you know, just traveling the world, making a difference, and trying to help helpless creatures. What have you been up to?
 * Timmy: Oh, uh, I'm still in school.
 * Tootie: Wow, an educated man. And look at this - you show up, and all these amazing things happen. It's like magic!
 * Timmy: M-magic? [Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof whistle innocently] No, no no. Me? No magic. No, not here. You kidding? Come on, no no no no.
 * Tootie: Well, it's great to see you.
 * [They share a hug. Cosmo and Wanda notice the Love Meter is rising, gasp, and cover Poof's eyes. Timmy then suddenly pulls out of the embrace.]
 * Timmy: Daah! Aah. Aah.
 * Tootie: What's the matter?
 * Timmy: Uh, uh, sunburn on my back. No hugs till it heals, doctor said. Gotta go! [leaves]
 * Cosmo: He is soooo smooth.


 * Magnate: [answering his cell phone] What?
 * Mr. Crocker: [speaking on the other line in a deep voice] I hear your perfect plan just got un-perfect. If you want answers, meet me tonight, 8-ish, in the Alley, corner of Hall and Oates.
 * Crocker's mother: Denzel, who are you talking to?
 * Mr. Crocker: [in his regular voice] Quiet, mother! I'm on the phone using my voice disguiser!
 * Crocker's mother: But your mac and cheese is ready!
 * Mr. Crocker: Oh boy! Mac and-- [deep voice] I mean, uh, come alone.


 * Wanda: Timmy, what's the matter? Sad that your birthday's over?
 * Timmy: I think I need to go to the doctor. My stomach's all in knots, and my heart is racing.
 * Cosmo: [turns into a doctor] Dr. Cosmo in the hizzouse! Ahh, no fever. [putting on a glove] Time for a full exam!
 * Wanda: You've been acting sick since you saw Tootie in the park yesterday.
 * Timmy: Sick? No, I just have a cold or something. Still, she's so brave, so sure of herself.
 * Wanda: [looks at the Love Meter] Oh no! You're falling in love with Tootie! That means you're growing up and you'll lose us forever!
 * Timmy: Uh-oh!
 * Cosmo: It also means I don't get to use the glove, doesn't it?


 * Tootie: It was nice meeting you! [leaves]
 * Mrs. Turner: No!
 * Mr. Turner: Wait! Don't go! Wait! Don't! Stay!
 * Mrs. Turner: Our vacation's already paid for!
 * Mr. Turner: We'll give you money!
 * Mrs. Turner: Livestock!
 * Mr. Turner: Raisins!


 * Wanda: Cosmo, we got to stop Tootie before she breaks up our family!
 * Cosmo: For once, I agree with your shrill, commanding, and authoritative voice! [Wanda glares at him] I mean, I love you!


 * Cosmo: Hey Timmy, let's do something really, really fun!
 * Poof: Pooh-pooh-poof!
 * Wanda: Yeah! Super fun!
 * Cosmo: Like shave Crocker, turn your dad into a woman, [Wanda and Poof look at him oddly] turn Wanda into a woman... [Wanda glares at him] I mean, you're the wind beneath my wings!


 * Tootie: You know what I wish for?
 * Timmy: No.
 * Tootie: I wish that we could help rebuild the park around the Dimmsdale Dogwood. You know, the way it used to be when we were kids.
 * Timmy: Wow. Nice wish. I mean, 'cause it's not a wish for yourself. You don't really hear wishes like that everyday.


 * [Cosmo and Wanda transform themselves into humans]
 * Wanda: Oh my gosh, we're humans! And look! I've got legs... that need to be shaved. Ewwww.
 * Cosmo: Woo, and I've got underarm hair! I'm definitely not shaving that.


 * Cosmo: Good evening, everyone. We're your perfectly normal not-magic-fairy human waiters with unbelievably super-hairy legs and underarms!


 * Timmy: What are you guys doing? And what have you done to yourselves?
 * Cosmo: We're waiters! 'Course, it's just a stepping stone on our path to becoming actors. STELLA!!


 * Katie: Hey Timmy, we were gonna go get ice cream. Wanna come?
 * Timmy: No thanks. I'm good, surprisingly.
 * Howie: But you always want ice cream!
 * Ravi: How about you wanna not come but give us some money for ice cream? [Timmy tosses him some money] He's totally distracted, which means we can keep the change!


 * Howie: Check it out!
 * Katie: They got Tootie!
 * Ravi: And I got tooty-fruity with hot fudge. I mean, we have to help her!
 * Howie: Let's get Timmy. [kids run]
 * Tootie: You?
 * Magnate: Ironic, isn't it? Someone who cares so much about helping this little creature got betrayed by a helplessing creature. [Magnate and bunny makes an evil laugh]
 * Wanda: Magnate's got Tootie! Hurray!
 * Cosmo: Yay! [Poof stares at them angrily]
 * Wanda: Well, I mean it's good that she gets to ride in a limo, right?
 * Cosmo: Yah. This means that we can always be with Timmy and things never have to change, right? [Poof stares at them more angry than before]
 * Wanda: Poof's intense stare of guilt is right, Cosmo. Here we are wanting Poof to grow up and we're keeping Timmy from doing the same thing.
 * Cosmo: You're right, Wanda. We have to do what's best for Timmy! [Poof grins]
 * Wanda: Aww. I'm proud of us, Cosmo. And thanks for staring such sense into us, Poof. [Poof glides to Cosmo and Wanda] Let's tell Timmy and save Tootie!
 * Crocker: Don't worry little FAIRIES! [He sucks Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof into a device]
 * Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof: AHHHHH!
 * Crocker: Thanks to my Atomic Fairy Incarcerator, I'll show Timmy Turner that I now have possession of his [spazzes] FAIRY... GODPARENTS!
 * Howie: Timmy, are you ok?
 * Timmy: What is it?
 * Howie: Tootie got kidnapped by a bunny in Magnate's limo.
 * Ravi: And there is no change. The ice cream came to exactly $20.
 * Timmy: Tootie's in trouble? Well, then I guess I wish she was right here back next to me. [kids stare at each other confused] I wish she was right back here next to me.
 * Katie: I think something's wrong with Timmy's brain.
 * Timmy: [looks at backpack; the buttons CW&P were on read HELP US TIMMY!] Mangnate just doesn't have Tootie. He's got..... [runs off]


 * Vicky: Hey twerp! Thought you might like a slice of my faceplant pizza!


 * Magnate: Any last words before I blast you out of existence?
 * Timmy: Uh, yes. I should have done this a long time ago. It's time for me to grow up!
 * Poof: Huh?
 * Timmy: I love you guys.
 * Cosmo and Wanda: We love you too.
 * Magnate: I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Time's up! [pushes his wish button and prepares to blast them]
 * Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof: [getting shocked] Aaaaaaah!
 * Timmy: [embraces Tootie] I love you, Tootie!
 * [Timmy kisses Tootie passionately. As he does so, CW&P are revived and Magnate's power fades away.]
 * Poof: Huh?
 * Cosmo: [as he, Wanda, and Poof begin to fade away] What's happening?
 * Wanda: [looks at the Love Meter, which now displays "In Love" and is rapidly beeping] Cosmo, he's saving us!


 * Cosmo: [as he, Wanda, and Poof fade away] Don't forget to feed the dog!
 * Wanda: Cosmo, he doesn't have a dog!
 * Cosmo: Well, if you get one, don't forget to feed it!
 * Timmy: I'm gonna miss you guys forever!
 * Cosmo and Wanda: Goodbye, Timmy!


 * Tootie: Not bad, Turner. You saved my tree and stole my heart.
 * Timmy: It's amazing what you can do when you're grown up, huh?
 * Tootie: I can't believe it. All these years, you had fairy godparents and couldn't tell anyone. [giggles] That's pretty amazing.
 * Timmy: Ya, it really was. They were my best friends too. I-I just wish I could see them again.


 * Timmy: Cool your jets, Jorgen, okay? I already gave up Cosmo and Wanda, and I'm a full-fledged adult now. Tomorrow, I'm even buying deodorant.


 * Wanda: Isn't this great, Cosmo? After all these years, Timmy and Tootie finally ended up together!
 * Cosmo: I give them two weeks tops!


 * Timmy: Hey, I think Poof is trying to say something!
 * Cosmo and Wanda: Finally! His first words!
 * Poof: (Randy Jackson voice) Yo, man. This gonna be so cool, man. We're going to be bumpin', man. Tryin' to help the boys out. You know how we do it. You feel me, dawg? (Record scratches and plays)
 * Wanda: Uh... that's gonna take some getting used to.


 * [Mom and Dad sit at what seems like a beach laughing]
 * Dad: Finally we're on vacation.
 * Mom: Oh, who says you need to vacation in paradise? With Timmy gone....
 * Both: This is paradise!
 * Crocker: [Falls from the sky] Ahhhh! Everything ends at Turner's.
 * Dad: That's the worst waiter we ever had.