Roger Dodger

Scene I: Penguin Habitat (Night)
The Penguins are seen in their habitat one night trying out their habitat’s new defense grid when Marlene suddenly appears from behind Rico all of them are shocked.

Marlene: Hey guys!

Skipper: Marlene! You really have to say something before you burst in on us like that?!

Private: Lucky you didn’t set off our habitat’s new defense grid.

We then roll through the defense grid.

Kowalski: Tear gas, blow darts, land mines...the whole enchilada.

Marlene: Isn’t all that a little severe?

Skipper: Is it? One of these days you’re going to learn there is only one universal language: Force.

Kowalski: And math.

Skipper: Hmm… right force and math.

Marlene: Music also.

Skipper: Force, math and music are really the only….

Private: Laughter?

Skipper slaps Private.

Skipper: The point is we speak through in force around here. We fell safe of knowing that no-one and I mean NO-ONE can get into our lair.

Roger: # I like hoppy frogs and belly flops#

Skipper: HUH!?

Scene II: Penguin HQ (Night)
Roger's singing voice comes from behind the door leading to Kowalski’s lab Skipper, Kowalski and Private slide to the door.

Roger: #Not big meanies and special ops#

Rico then takes out a metal object intended to break down doors and runs with it

Rico: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

The Penguins here him coming and all run back and then the door opens revealing Roger himself

Roger: Hi! How are ya?

Rico then deliberately misses the door.

Rico: '''YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!.................... (SMASH!) OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!'''

Rico then smashes into something glass off screen after that the others then slide forward

Skipper: ROGER! How could you possibly get through my defense grid?!?!

Rico then comes in and babbles then falls flat on the floor

Roger: Me? Oh I just let myself in through the front door. Over there.

The penguins then look at the door confused then Skipper turns to Kowalski

Kowalski: Well then according to the security protocol you’re either an enemy agent or our guest

Roger: Are you sure it’s no bother if I hang out here for a while?

Rico then gets down to prevent himself from being squashed but Skipper gets pushed by Roger’s tail and is squashed against the window

Skipper: Well actually we might…..

He then gets squashed again

Private: Make yourself right at home.

Roger: Home… that’s my problem

Scene III: The Sewer
[the rats are at Rogers home]

Rat king: Take everything that ain't nailed down... then take the nailed stuff too! [they all laugh] [roger and the penguins are about 17 feet away unoticed kowaski has penguin binoculars on backwards]

Kowalski: I estimate the target to be approximately 17 miles [Private turns them the right way]

Kowalski: Ooh make that 17 feet [zoom out]

Roger:[sad music plays] First they called me names, then [he puts his hands on his jaw] they start taking my lunch and now...

Skipper:[sad music pauses] Now there taking your home and that ain't gonna fly.

Roger:[sad music continues] But I tried everything! I tried being nice, i tried baking them muffins! [sad music stops] [Rico babbles]

Skipper: Hmm good point Rico [zooms in on skipper]. Have you tried hammering them until they run crying to their little rat mamas? [zoom out to penguins and roger]

Roger: That sounds kind of violent.

Skipper: If it's done proper.

Roger:Uhh I don't know guys. I don't think I'm comfortable with you actually hurting anyone.

Skipper: Oh don't worry, we're not gonna hurt anybody. You are!

Roger: What? [camera changes to penguins pushing roger towards the rats]

Skipper: Go on show 'em that vicious primeval instinct [zooms in to Roger]

Roger: But I'm not sure I have one of those [Skipper stands on his nose lifting up his hand]

Skipper: What do you think these claws are for? [he lets go of Roger's arm and opens his mouth] How about these teeth?

Roger: Well, they come in handy for arts and crafts and scrap-booking and...

Skipper: Look at yourself man! You're an alligator! Prehistoric killing machine! Those are just rodents [points at the rats] Now all you have to do is let nature take its course. Say it.

Roger: Let nature take its course, let nature take its course, let nature take its course. [Roger walks of screen and the penguins are left looking at him] Gentlemen I feel... [there is a sound of glass cracking][the screen rolls to the penguins horrified faces. Rico is the only one not horrified]

Rat king: How about you take a course of this! [hitting him with sound effects every time he says this] And this! How about these! And those right there! And how about over here! And right behind your ear!

[Skipper, Kowalski and Private look away in horror; Rico smiles blankly and licks his beak]

Skipper: Nature can be cruel, gentlemen.

Scene VI: The Park
[the penguins have set up "bowling pin ninjas" to try and train Roger in the park]

Skipper: Fear not Roger, we will mold you into an instrument of destruction and mayhem! [knocking over a pin as he says mayhem. Private puts it back] In order to coach you, I need to know what I'm dealing with. Take [camera moves to Rico juggling a knife, a crowbar, and a bomb with its fuse lit] Rico, for example. He's clearly a world class psychopath. [throws what he's juggling in the air] So we just.. [the knife lands left of Rico, crowbar right and the bomb on his head] kinda took that ball and ran with it.

Rico: Tadaaa! [the camera moves to Roger then the bomb explodes] [the camera then moves to Kowalski with Rico passing with his head feathers burnt]

Kowalski: We can use any talent you have. [zooms to all the penguins and Roger. Rico falls down]  Roger: Well there is one thing, but I don't think its gonna be very helpful.

Skipper:[chuckling] Nonsense. [camera moves to skipper and Kowalski] Anything you say will be helpful. [zooms in to skipper only] Anything. [zooms out to all of them]

Roger: I've always dreamed of being a singer. [music starts Roger coughs] [in singing voice] When you hear the night's last flush, then my dear it's time to hush. One or two, either number [Rico starts to sleep] says to you peaceful slumber. [Rico yawns] Feel the drench from the broken pipe, ooh, that stench, it's...

Skipper: Whoa, whoa, you know how I said that anything you say will be helpful?  Roger: Uh huh?

Skipper:Well, I was wrong. [zoom out to Skipper and Rico. Skipper pats Rico's back] Rico [Rico wakes up], nap-time's over.

Private: I think we just have to let Roger be Roger, Skipper. [Private walks towards Roger]. There's nothing we can do to change who he is inside [camera changes to Private, Skipper, and Rico]

Skipper: [as Rico fights a ninja pin] You're right, Private. It's not like we can just take Rico's berserker rage and drop it into Roger. [Rico appears in front of Private chewing a pin with his beak] Can we? [camera changes to Kowalski writing on his clipboard, then his face shows. He turns to Skipper and smiles as lightning strikes]

Scene V: Penguin HQ
[the penguins hook Roger and Rico to a mind switching machine and Rico on top of a lot of bricks at Roger's height. The camera is on Roger]

Roger: A mind switching machine. Huh. Is this gonna hurt?   [camera to the other three penguins and a blender with wires]

Kowalski: Just a little pinch, followed by the brief sensation of a thousand suns exploding in your skull. [the camera moves to Kowalski and Roger]

Roger: Do I get a lollipop? [then back to Kowalski. Kowalski pulls a lollipop from behind his back then the camera moves the the three penguins]

Private: I don't know, Skipper. Couldn't we just accept Roger for who he is?

Skipper: You're an idealist, Private. [then camera to Kowalski pointing at the blender]

Kowalski: We are now go to switch the minds of Roger and Rico [as he says the camera moves to Roger then Rico then back to Kowalski] using this 17-speed kitchen blender [then camera to Private]

Private: So after Rico trounces the rats inside Roger's body, we switch them back? [camera to Skipper]

Skipper: Exactly. It's 100% foolproof. [then camera to Kowalski and the blender again]

Kowalski: More acurately, it is 2.7% foolproof. [camera to Kowalski] There's a 97.3% chance that this will backfire and result in in a horrific abomination that will be an affront to the most elemental laws of nature and the universe. [while he says so the camera moves to Roger, Rico, Kowalski, then Skipper]

Skipper: I like those odds. [then camera moves to Kowalski turning on the blender after he does so to Roger and Rico then Kowalski]

Kowalski: [as he pushes buttons on the blender] Switching from grind to chop. Now grate, cream, mince, beat, whip, crushed ice. [zoom out skipper is standing next to Kowalski]

Skipper: Really? That's a handy feature. [then the camera moves to the blender, Rico and Roger, Rico then Rico scratches his chest, Roger is holding his helmet and shaking then to Kowalski and the blender again]

Kowalski: Shred, liquify, puree! [then camera moves to Rico and roger in split screen then ghosted versions of themselves go into each others body then zooms out to the penguin habitat the water flashes green then bubbles appear as it zooms in to the water and flashes green once more then the plate with their fish covering the entrance to the lair gets blown of with a big fiery explosion then the fish and plate lands after it stops then it goes to Skipper and Kowalski stuck to the wall then they fall off revealing Private is behind Skipper then falls down the blender is broken and sparks are flying skipper walks towards the smoke then the others follow then it clears with Rico and his helmet on next to a brick then Skipper takes off the helmet]

Skipper: Rico, talk to me. [then Rico regains consciousness]

Roger: [in Rico's body] No, its me, Roger. [the camera moves to Skipper and Kowalski]

Skipper and Kowalski: Roger?

Skipper: It worked.

Kowalski: [at the same time as skipper] We did it!

Private: Uh, Skipper, [camera goes to Private] if that's Roger, [zooms out to Private standing next to a gator shaped hole in the wall] then where's Rico?

Scene VI: The Sewer
To be continued