The Military Miniaturization


 * Colonel Williams: And because of the quantum vortices, this can run perpetually?
 * Leonard: Exactly. Yeah, you have a good grasp with the physics.
 * Colonel Williams: Well, I'm a scientist by training.
 * Howard: Really? You're a physicist?
 * Colonel Williams: Better. I'm an engineer. (Sheldon shocked.)
 * Leonard: Where did you go to school?
 * Colonel Willaims: MIT.
 * Howard: Wha-- Hey! Me too! (Sheldon shocked.)
 * Colonel Williams: I should have known behind every great inventions at MIT mine. I'll cut to the chase: The Air Force believes there is an application to this technology and we're interested in funding your research.
 * Howard: Thanks. But you should know we're a little concerned about this being used in weapons.
 * Colonel Williams: Oh. Well, let me put your mind at ease. What we use it for is none of your business.
 * Leonard: I don't know how I feel about this.
 * Colonel Williams: Look, guys. It's just a guidance system. It's not like you're handing us the Death Star from Star Trek. (Sheldon goes silently ballistic.)


 * Penny: How did you think you were gonna hide your pregnancy?
 * Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove Bar wrappers to explain any weight-gaining.
 * Amy: Where did you get empty Dove Bar wrappers?
 * Bernadette: (angrily) From all the Dove Bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!
 * (Amy's expression is gloomy)
 * Bernadette: I'm sorry. I-I have to go find out if my boss knows.
 * Amy: Whatever happens, we're here for you.
 * Bernadette: Thanks. You guys are the best.
 * Penny: Okay. Drive safe. We love you and give us a call when (Bernadette closes the door and disappears and Penny suddenly speaks in a freak-out voice)-- Oh, my god! It was me, it was me! I'm the one who blabbed she's pregnant!
 * Amy: (shocked) What?
 * Penny: I didn't mean to. It just slipped out of her system when they asked--(Bernadette comes back in)
 * Bernadette: Sorry, I forgot my--
 * Penny: Ooh, here's your coat, honey! That's such a cute jacket! Oh!
 * (Both Penny and Amy are shocked)


 * Penny: Okay, all right, honey, you know what? There was something I was too scared to tell you yesterday, and now…I’m just balls-out terrified to tell you, but…the truth is it…wasn’t Barbara Chen, it was me. I’m the reason everyone knows.
 * Bernadette: Why did you do that?
 * Penny: Well, it was an accident. I am so sorry I lied.
 * Bernadette: Get out.


 * Amy: You really think they’re gonna start treating you differently?
 * Bernadette: Are you kidding? I’ve always been treated differently! Look at me! Listen to me! I mean, the first thought when you see me isn’t. “That’s a scientist.” It’s, “I wonder if her mommy knows where she is.”


 * Leonard: You’re not a lawyer. Sheldon, you’re just a know-it-all.
 * Sheldon: I am not a know-it-all. I’m a person who knows lots of things and likes to correct other people when they’re wrong.
 * Leonard:That’s the definition of being a know-it-all.
 * Sheldon: Or in German; a Besserwisser.


 * Penny: God, I feel so bad-I just lied to her.
 * Amy: Oh, but you did it so well. That’s amazing. It’s like watching a sculptor, but your clay was lies.
 * Penny: is that really what’s important right now?
 * Amy: I mean seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain when you’re being dishonest so I can see what lights up.
 * Penny: That’s super helpful, Amy. Thanks a lot. I can’t wait to do that.
 * Amy: I see a clump of bitch cells lighting up from here.