Surviving Sid


 * (TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX ANIMATION PRESENTS)
 * (A BLUE SKY STUDIOS PRODUCTION)
 * (STARRING SID)
 * (Scrat climbs up a tree next to Sid in the circle.)
 * (WITH SPECIAL GUEST STAR SCRAT)
 * (Scrat angrily reaches out for Sid, who pushes him away, then styles his eyebrow.
 * (STARRING SID IN...)
 * (SURVIVING SID)
 * (A group of animal kids are walking in the forest.)
 * Claire: My mom says that camping trips are a most informative experience.
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: I don't know. Everything seems so wild. Do you think we'll be safe?
 * Molehog: Relax, you wimp. Do you think they'd just let some idiot be our camp counselor?
 * (Whip pan to Sid shaking a beehive.)
 * Sid: Show me the honey!
 * (Sid pokes his eye into the beehive. A swarm of bees blast out and attack Sid. He screams as he runs away from the bees.)
 * Sid: (loses his balance) AAAAAH! (falls down a cliff) WHO'S UP FOR A HIKE?!
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: Yep. We're not dead.
 * Sid: (leading the kids) Hiking is great exercise!
 * Kids: You could use a thunder thighs.
 * Sid: Nature is the place to be!
 * Kids: (pointing with their fingers and trunks) Look out for that maple tree. (Sid smacks his head on a maple tree branch)
 * Sid: Hiking is my greatest thrill!
 * Kids: That's 'cuz you're an imbecile.
 * Sid: (looks back) Hmm...
 * (The kids all bump into Sid.)
 * Sid: I'm beginning to sense some hostility.
 * Claire: We've been hiking for 3.7 hours, and I think we're lost.
 * Molehog: Yeah. No offense, Captain Klutz, but we signed up for nature camp, not boot camp.
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: I sure do. (etches his face into a tree) I always leave my tad to mark where we're going. (shows more etches) See?
 * Molehog: Whoa. That's a whole lot of ugly.
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: I thought this was supposed to build confidence.
 * Sid: Son, you just earned yourself. a merit badge for whining. (licks leaf and sticks it on beaver's belly)
 * Claire: Actually, sir, that's poison oak.
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: (wipes leaf off) AAAAAHHH!
 * Sid: (grabs Claire's trunk) Oh, Claire, it's adorable when you undermine my authorities. But if that was poison oak, (laughs) don't you think I'd be (chin bulges, then both eyes bulge) experiencing... (head swells up more, including forehead, nose, and tongue) ...some... (more bumps grow on his cheeks; drools) side efferrrrrs.... (holds onto his big head, gags, faints, and wheezes)
 * Aardvark: Hey, guys! Over here!
 * (The kids find a lake.)
 * Kids: Whoo-hoo! Awesome! This is fun! Let's go fishing!
 * Sid: (swollen voice; lifts finger up) I think it's wearing off... (hand swells) Ah...
 * (Whiny Beaver Boy casts his line into the lake.)
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: I got one. I got one! I'm actually having a good time!
 * Sid: (lifts fishing rod; beaver's fish drops back into the lake) Oh, you kids are doing it the hard way.
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: Aaand it's over.
 * Sid: (wearing a fin made out of leaves on his head) To catch a fish, you must become the fish. (pretends to be a fish and jumps into the water) Think like a fish. Move like a fish. (tries to catch the scared fish, then a big fish traps Sid's top half inside his mouth)
 * Claire: Ouch. (Sid walks out onto the dry land with the big fish on his head) You poor thing. I feel terrible for you.
 * Sid: Why, thank you, Claire. (fish bites down to his legs)
 * Claire: I was talking to the fish.
 * (Sid walks around with the fish on his head, transitioning later that night.)
 * Kids: I'm hungry. Me too.
 * Sid: (grabs mushrooms and dung of some sort) Well, the s'mores are ready. (passes s'mores to the kids) Bon appetit-uh.
 * Molehog: Augh! (looks into s'more) What kind of s'more is this?
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: Mine tastes like crud.
 * Claire: Mine tastes like feet.
 * Whiny Beaverbeaver Boy: Wanna trade?
 * Aardvark: At least yours didn't run away.
 * S'more: So long! (runs away, laughing)
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: Yuck.
 * Sid: Okay. Time for a (holds torch to his face) ghost story. ...Then, the little sloth heard a scratch... scratch... outside the mother's cave. And when he got up to see what the noise was, what do you think he saw?
 * Molehog: The end of this lame story?
 * Sid: No. I heard a vicious, horrible, bloodthirsty monster.
 * Claire: Monsters are manifestations of subconscious fear.
 * Sid: ...You are so much fun to take on a camping trip. Anywho, (a shadow casts behind him, depicting claws) this monster had long, jagged claws. (the kids gasp, then a head with sharp teeth grows on the shadow) And razor sharp teeth. (the kids gasp again) And its favorite thing to eat... was... CHILDREN! (the kids scream and run away) ...Well, Sidney, you surely payed the... (nervously stammers when he turns around and drops his torch; he sees a giant shadow of a monster with sharp teeth and claws) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs away) AAAAAAHH!
 * (The shadow really came from Scrat choking on his acorn. He performs the Heimlich maneuver on himself. The acorn gets stuck in his throat. He pulls it out and falls to the ground. He watches as the S'more laughs as he takes his acorn. Scrat screams, and chases after it. The next morning, Sid is seen laying on his belly in his sleep. He wakes up, and yawns as he sits up.)
 * Sid: Good morning, kids. Sleep well?
 * (Cuts to the kids huddling together, scared.)
 * Kids: No.
 * Sid: What's the matter? Did I scare you with my story?
 * Whiny Beaver Boy: You scared us with you.
 * Molehog: You're gonna get us killed out here, dude.
 * Aardvark: We'll starve to death!
 * Glyptodon: You'll lead us off a cliff!
 * Sid: Oh, that's just ridiculous. (runs up to a tree) I'm the master of the woods. (hugs tree) I am Mother Nature's son. I wouldn't even hurt a flower. (tries to pull flower out of the ground) Come on, you... beautiful... miracle!
 * (Sid falls over after pulling out the flower as a tree falls down. It slams on top of a rock. The rock breaks and slides down the steep hill. It slides with a bigger rock, then and even bigger rock. The three rocks bump into a very big ice block. The ice block moves down a bit. Sid and the kids are in shock. The ice block tips over, and slides into the ground, creating a canyon.)
 * Sid: (nervously looks at his flower and laughs) (throws flower into the canyon) You know what happened? Global warming.