Great Granny May

Transcript for Great Granny May
Narrator: Today is “Bring your daughter and pet monkey to work” day at the county courthouse, which means Becky Botsford gets to watch her mom, district attorney Sally Botsford, in action!

Mrs. Botsford: Are you having fun, honey?

Becky: Yep!

Mrs. Botsford: Are you hungry?

Becky: No thanks.

Mrs. Botsford: I have granola bars.

Becky: Mom, you don’t have to  dote  on me. I’m fine.

Mrs. Botsford: Alright, kiddo. Now, stay here and watch Mommy pin six to twelve on Granny May for robbery, okay?

Becky: Go get her, Mom!

Mrs. Botsford: (giggling) I love my work!

(The judge strikes his gavel.)

Mrs. Botsford: Granny May! In spite of all this  evidence , you claim you did not rob Devon’s Salon last Thursday?

(Granny May is sitting in the witness stand, and next to district attorney Botsford is a table containing items for the trial'. A female officer stands behind the table.)

Granny May: You must have me confused with someone else.

Mrs. Botsford: Even though you were caught by WordGirl outside the front door sporting a new hairdo, and holding the cash register?’

Granny May: Bath register? Sorry, I only take showers.

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, I think you heard me, Granny. What about the fact that WordGirl found Devon himself pinned to the wall with THESE?

(She holds up a bag containing a pair of hair pins bearing the likeness of Granny May.)

Granny May: Oh, those pins could have come from anywhere.

Mrs. Botsford: Marked property of Granny May?!

Granny May: Oh, uh…

Mrs. Botsford: The VERY same hair pins that you’re wearing RIGHT NOW!

(She pulls the hair pins out of Granny May’s hair and displays them. The spectators gasp. Becky glances over at Bob, and gives him a thumbs up.)

Granny May: Well, I-- I’m just a poor little old lady.

Mrs. Botsford: That old yarn’s not gonna cut it, Granny!

Granny May: No? Well, how about THIS old yarn?

(She leaps from the witness stand onto the table, and grabs the knitting needles.)

Granny May: Hi-YAAH!

Judge: Somebody stop her!

Becky: Uh-oh!

(Becky stands up and places her fingers on her chest, preparing to change into WordGirl. Bob stops her. Granny May points the knitting needles at Sally Botsford, but the officer grabs them out of her hand.)

Granny May: HEY! You give those back! No fair!

(Now that the situation is under control, Becky lets out a sigh of relief that she did not have to publicly change into WordGirl.)

Becky: Phew! That was close.

Judge: Granny May! In light of this  evidence , you are hereby found GUILTY! And sentence to six to twelve months of house arrest! (bangs his gavel)

Becky: Way to go, Mom!

(She hugs her mom, and Bob displays a drawing he made of Mrs. Botsford holding a sword and the scales of justice.)

(Scene: Later, in front of a house. Granny May stands in front of the door, accompanied by the same police officer.)

Granny May: Hey, where are we?

Officer: Says here, “G.G. May.”

Granny May: This looks familiar… but this isn’t MY house!

Officer: You’re going to a relative’s house, so they can keep an eye on you.

Granny May: Gahh…

Officer: And to make sure you don’t wander off, you get to wear this bun bracelet so I can track your every move!

(She clamps an electronic tracker around her hair bun. Then she rings the doorbell, which is nothing more than a bell with a chain hanging from it.)

Voice from inside: Be right there, darlin’!

Granny May: Wait a minute-- I know this house! AND that voice!

(The front door opens, and an elderly lady appears driving a mobility scooter.)

Great Granny May: Now give your mama a big old kiss!

(She moves close to Granny May and kisses her on the cheek.)

Granny May: Oh, gross!

Officer: You’re Granny May’s mother?

Great Granny May: You’re darn tootin’ I am!

Officer: I’ll let her to you. Just remember, Granny… no leaving the house, or else!

(The officer puts her fingers to her eyes then points them at Granny May, then walks away. Granny’s mother uses a handkerchief to wipe Granny May’s head.)

Great Granny May: I still don’t know how you got mixed up in all this trouble, Jellybean! Are you eatin’ enough? When’s the last time you washed behind those ears?

Granny May: Aooh, mama, quit  doting  on me! That hurts! Don’t spit on it!

Narrator: Meanwhile, at the district attorney’s office…

(Scene: City Hall. Mrs. Botsford, Becky and Bob are in her office.)

Becky: Wow, Mom. You really let Granny May have it today! Nice work!

(Bob picks up a mug off of her desk and starts spinning it on his finger.)

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, I don’t know. WordGirl was the one who really cracked the case. She gave us all the  evidence , I just clean up the messes and send the bad guys and gals to their rooms! (giggles)

(The Mayor walks by her door.)

Mayor: Ah, here’s my favorite district attorney. Hey, nice work with the-- (brings out his note cards and reads) --Granny May case!

Mrs. Botsford: Thank you, Mister Mayor, but we really relied on WordGirl for the key  evidence .

Becky: But being a district attorney is an important job too, Mom! Just look at all the criminals you sent to jail over the years!

(She motions toward Mrs. Botsford’s wall which contains photos of all the criminals she has prosecuted, with some notable additions such as Li’l Mittens and one of Tobey’s robots.)

Mrs. Botsford: Oh-- well, I have. (laughs)

Becky: I’d say that’s pretty strong  evidence  that you’re doing a great job.

Mrs. Botsford: Thank you!

Mayor: Right!  Evidence . (Frowns, then looks at his cards)  Ev-i-dence … uh,  evidence …

Becky:  Evidence  is the proof that tells you something is true or false. Like Bob, for example. The fact that he’s been spinning that mug for three straight minutes is  evidence  that he’s good at-- spinning mugs.

Mayor: Right. I knew that. Well friends, I say you two deserve some time off for good behavior. I am officially declaring the rest of today… take your daughter to the mall day!

Becky: Yes!

Mrs. Botsford: Thank you, Mr. Mayor!

Mayor: You are welcome!

(As he prepares to leave, the mayor bumps into Bob, causing the mug to fly off of his finger. It hits the ground a smashes.)

Mrs. Botsford: Well-- looks like we could use a new mug. (laughs again, then pushes down on Becky’s head.) And you could use a new head band for that pretty little noggin’ of yours!

(She puts her arm around Becky, and pinches her cheek.)

Becky: Oh, Mom-- stop  doting  on me.

Mrs. Botsford: Just enjoying you!

(Scene: Great Granny May’s house. Great Granny May is knitting, while Granny May lies back on the sofa.)

Great Granny May: Jellybean, why don’t you knit with me for a while?

Granny May: I’m not Jellybean, and the took away my knitting needles, mama! I’m on house arrest, remember?

Great Granny May: Would you like some soup?

Granny May: No!

Great Granny May: Are you grumpy because you’re cold? Should mama knit a sweater for you?

Granny May: NO! No, no! And stop  doting  on me!

(The phone rings.)

Granny May: The phone is ringing.

Great Granny May: What?

Granny May: The phone is ringing!

Great Granny May: I think that’s the phone ringing. I’ll get it!

(Picks up the receiver)

Great Granny May: Great Granny May’s residence. (pause) Well, hi Roberta. (pause) What’s that, now? Oooh, ya don’t say? (pause) Well sure, I’m goin’ down there right now! Thank you kindly, Roberta. Bye-bye.

(Hangs up)

Great Granny May: That was Roberta.

Granny May: I know that, mother, what did she say?

Great Granny May: She said they’ve discovered the fountain of youth!

Granny May: Here?

Great Granny May: Roberta said you just take one little dip in the waters, and it’ll make you young again!

Granny May: Then where’s the  evidence ? Where’s the proof?

Great Granny May: Roberta says it’s downtown next to that new-fangled market where you can spend all your money in one place?

Granny May: Oh, mama, it’s called a mall.

Great Granny May: The mall, that’s right!

Granny May: (to herself) Hmm… now if I went through the fountain of youth, I’d be young and quick again! Not even WordGirl could stop me! And, that mall is full of lovely cash registers… all under one roof! (laughs)

(She stands up )

Granny May: Hold on, mama! I’m coming!

Great Granny May: I’m sorry dearest, but you can’t come. You’re under house arrest.

Granny May: Doh! But mama…

Great Granny May: But nothin’. You stay here and behave yourself until I get back. Your dinner’s in the icebox. And if you eat your greens, I’ll bring you back a balloon!

Granny May: Don’t want one. Hmmph! I never get--

(Granny May sess that she is alone with the yarn and knitting needles. She gets an idea, and creates a yarn version of herself, then attaches the bun bracelet to it.)

Granny May: Ooh!

(She admires her creation, then changes into her jet suit and takes off.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, at the city mall…

(Scene: The city mall. Mrs. Botsford, Becky and Bob are posing for a photo at a photo cart. They say “cheese”, then the shutter clicks and the flash goes off.)

Mrs. Botsford: THAT adorable picture is concrete  evidence  of a fun afternoon! (chuckles)

(The walk up to the person running the photo booth, and find him wrapped in purple yarn, all the way up to his nose.)

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, dear!

(The man talks in a muffled voice.)

Mrs. Botsford: Looks like I only have a twenty. Do you need exact change?

(He continues trying to speak.)

Mrs. Botsford: Well, let me see what I can do… cute sweater by the way!

(He says “thank you” in a muffled tone.)

Becky: (to Bob) That yarn cocoon is  evidence  that Granny May has escaped her house arrest!

(With her super hearing, she hears an old lady exclaim, “The fountain of youth! I’ve found it!")

Becky: Sounds like Granny May. Hmm, we’d better check it out.

(She turns to her mom.)

Becky: Um, Mom? We need to go into Stuff on your Face to buy Bob some… fur cleaner.

Mrs. Botsford: Okay. You two go ahead, I’ll meet you in there.

(Becky and Bob are next seen standing in the elevator. The doors close, and when they open, WordGirl and Huggy are standing there.)

WordGirl: Word UP! (takes off with Huggy)

Narrator: Meanwhile, at Stuff on your Face cosmetics boutique…

(Scene: a cosmetics store at the mall. Inside the window, there is a statue that has the figure of a woman standing on a sea shell, using an eyelash brush and putting on lipstick, while standing in the middle of a fountain. Great Granny May pulls her scooter up to the window)

Great Granny May: The fountain of youth!

(Behind her, Granny May is riding an escalator carrying bags in her hands.)

Granny May: Mama? MAMA?

(She comes to the store and walks up behind her.)

Great Granny May: Oh, Jellybean! They let you out early! I knew they would!

(She pinches Granny May’s cheeks.)

Granny May: Stop it! No, mother, they did NOT set me free. I outsmarted them. Boom, boom!

Great Granny May: Well, good for you! Ready to take a dip in the fountain of youth?

Granny May: (cackles) You’re darn right I am, mama!

(They go into the store together, and walk toward the fountain. The cosmetic clerk walks up to them.)

Clerk: And just what do you think you’re doing?

Granny May: What does it look like we’re doing?

Great Granny May: We’d like to bathe in your fountain of youth, please.

Clerk: This fountain is full of Fountain of Youth makeup. It makes you feel years younger, it doesn’t actually make you younger.

Great Granny May: It doesn’t?

Clerk: Oh, heavens no! There’s no  evidence  of that at all. It’s just makeup.

Great Granny May: Just-- makeup?

Clerk: M-hmm. (walks away)

Granny May: (Holds up her bags) Oh, well, the trip wasn’t a total bust! (starts to laugh, then coughs.)

Great Granny May: Gwendolyn Igna May, did you steal all that money?

Granny May: No. Uh, yes. Maybe!

Great Granny May: Well, you’re gonna go around and give it all back! This instant!

Granny May: But I don’t want to give it back!

(WordGirl arrives.)

WordGirl: Sounds like you should listen to your mother, Granny May!

(Huggy shows up behind her, carrying shopping bags and slurping his drink through a straw.)

Granny May: Don’t come any closer. Or I’ll dump all this stolen money into the fountain and ruin your precious evidence!

Great Granny May: Now, that’s no way to talk. And to such a nice polite young lady too!

(She drives her scooter over to WordGirl.)

Great Granny May: How old are you, dear?

WordGirl: Ten and a half, ma’am.

(Great Granny May grabs WordGirl’s cheeks and starts pinching them.)

Great Granny May: Well, aren’t you just the sweetest little angel? You’re just as cute as a june bug, you are!

Granny May: Mama, stop  doting  on WordGirl!

Great Granny May: Well, who says I’m  doting ?

WordGirl: Actually, you are. You’re being overly nice and making a big fuss over me, almost spoiling me. And that’s what  doting  means. And I don’t mind a bit!

Great Granny May: And so smart! Bright as a new penny!

WordGirl: (blushing) Gosh, thanks!

Granny May: Ugh, sickening! That’s it! I’m getting out of here, and I’m taking all this loot with me!

(She changes into her jet suit and starts hovering.)

Granny May: Eat my dust, baby!

WordGirl: Huggy, heads up!

(Huggy grabs a makeup applier pad, and throws it at Granny May. It hits her, and a pink cloud of makeup billows up in front of her. WordGirl flies up to block her path.)

WordGirl: Hold it right there, Granny!

Granny May: Says you… granny perfume!

(She holds out her atomizer and squeezes it several times into WordGirl’s face.)

WordGirl: Ugh! Uh-- smells like-- mothballs! Can’t-- see!

Granny May: Ha ha ha, sorry babies, but I gotta scoot!

(Just then, Mrs. Botsford comes into the store.)

Mrs. Botsford: Becky, Bob!

(She sees Granny May flying directly toward her. Granny May bounces off of her and crashes into the fountain.)

Granny May: Oh-- can’t run-- WordGirl-- oh--

Great Granny May: Leave my baby girl alone!

(The police officer arrives, carrying the tracking device for Granny May.)

Officer: Phew. Good job, district attorney Botsford. You caught Granny May!

Mrs. Botsford: Oh! I did? (giggles) Oh, I did!

Narrator: And so, our heroes-- and Sally Botsford-- send Granny May back behind bars. And the  doting  Great Granny May back to her knitting circle. Remember, for  evidence  of fun, thrills and adventure, be sure to check out the next episode of-- WordGirl!

(For the ending scene, WordGirl and Huggy are standing at the photo vendor wearing t-shirts and caps with the Botsford family photo on them, next to the photo booth clerk who is still wrapped up in yarn.)