Snow Way Out

''[The Loud House at a snowy weather on the outside. Inside the house, Leni turns on her dryer and points it to a pot of goulash, as her way of defrosting it.]'' Leni: "Dinner's almost ready, guys!" [The camera zooms out, showing the Loud siblings (except Lana and Lily) watching what Leni is doing.] Lincoln: "Uh, Leni, what are you doing?" Leni: "Defrosting the goulash Dad left us." Lori: "Maybe you should try the stove." Leni: "Good idea. I was worried this would give goulash split-ends, anyway." Lana: "Forget the goulash! My favorite racecar driver Bobbie Fletcher is holding a contest tonight at the Burpin' Burger!" [fantasy of Lana winning the wrapper appears.] "Whoever finds a burger with a tire mark wrapper gets to be an honorary member of her pit crew!" Bobbie: [in Lana's imagination, opens the window of her car and the window of her racing helmet.] "I see you got the winning wrapper! Welcome aboard, Lana!" ''[Lana, in a racing outfit, holds a burger wrapper with tire tracks that reads WINNER. End fantasy with Lana in the same pose]'' Lana: "I know what you're gonna say. Mom and Dad left us plenty of food to eat while they're away for the weekend, but-" ''[The horn on Vanzilla honks. Lana notices her siblings left and are now in the car]'' Lincoln: "You had us at "Burpin' Burger"!" Lana: [eagerly grabs her coat] "HOPS! JACKET JUMP!" [Hops hops right into Lana's jacket and winks at Lana] Lana: [rushes out the door] "Whoo-hoo! Yeah!" Lisa: "Siblings, I'd like to call your attention to the rapidly descending ice crystals, street name, snow!" Lana: "Fine, Lis. You can stay here and eat the goulash." Lisa: "I call shotgun!" [rushes in]

''[Burpin' Burger. Lori parks Vanzilla and the kids get out to the promotion stand]'' Announcer: "Please welcome racing champion, Bobbie Fletcher!" ''[Bobbie's car comes up onto the stage with the crowd cheering. She gets out and takes off her helmet]'' Lana: "Yes!" Lola: "There she is!" Bobbie: "Thanks for coming out, racing fans! I wanna give a huge thanks to my sponsor, Burpin' Burger. Let me tell ya, you can't get past the starting line without quality fuel, and mine is right here." [holds up a burger] "The Big Belcher with extra pickles." [takes a bite] [The crowd cheers some more] Bobbie: "I can't wait to have one of you folks on my pit crew. All you gotta do is find the burger wrapper that looks just like this." [holds up the wrapper with tired tracks that reads WINNER] "Ladies and gentlemen, start your stomachs!" [waves the green flag] [A horn blares and the crowd rushes into the restaurant, but Flip cuts right to the front] Flip: "Give me a dozen burgers, and try to make one of them the winner!" Employee: "A dozen? Wow. You must really want to be on that pit crew." Flip: [sarcastic] "Oh, yeah. Bippity Fletchman, huge fan." Employee: "Actually, her name is-" Flip: "Don't care! Just gonna sell the winning wrapper to some sucker for big bucks." [The employee brings him his burgers] Flip: "Come to Flippy!" [starts opening up his wrappers] Lana: [begging with her fingers crossed] "No wrapper, no wrapper, no wrapper." Flip: "Dang it! All losers! Keep those burgers cookin', slim, 'cuz I'll be back for more once I scratch up some moolah." [leaves] [The Loud Kids are next] Lana: "We'd like ten Big Belchers and one Baby Belcher, please." Employee: "Okay, that'll be $25." Lana: "Uh, don't worry, guys. I got this." [rummages through her pocket and picks out a gross wad with a bunch of stuff stuck to it] "Let's see. My gum collection...banana peel...owl's foot...ah, here it is." [gives the employee a coupon] Employee: "Oh. One of our Kids Eat Free coupons. Great." [beat] "Wait. Did you just say owl's foot?" Luan: "Yeah! Isn't she a hoot?" [laughs] Employee: [unimpressed] "Next."

[The others are waiting and Lana brings them their burgers] Lana: "Alright, guys, dig in." ''[The kids chow down on their burgers. When they finish, Lana looks for the wrapper, but none of them are the one]'' Leni: "Sorry we didn't find the winning wrapper, Lana." ''[Hops wipes a tear from Lana with his tongue. Lisa is observing the snow]'' Lisa: "The frozen precipitation is accumulating rapidly. I suggest we skedaddle." Lana: "Wait! Don't you guys want another round?" Lynn: [astonished] "We can have seconds?" Lincoln: "How are we gonna pay for it?"

[Lana peeks out from behind the trash bin and notices the coupon still jutting out from the register] Lana: "Hops. Sticky snag." [Hops grabs the coupon with his tongue] Lana: [snatches it] "Bull's eye." [goes to the counter] "I'll take 11 more burgers, please. And I have another coupon." [gives it to the employee] Employee: [groans with the coupon stuck to his hand] "Why is it so sticky?" ''[Lana and Hops wink. Another round of burgers later, everyone except Lana looks queasy from eating their seconds. Lola belches]'' Lana: "Ugh. Still nothing. We have to order more burgers!" Lisa: "Uh, in light of the worsening meteorological conditions..." [burps] "...perhaps we should follow the lead of the other patrons and amscray." [The others are leaving] Hefty Blonde: "Come on. Hurry, hurry, hurry." Unknown Woman: "I do not like the look of that sky." Lana: "Oh, let them leave. That'll make our chances even better. Come on, you guys, one more round." [The others groan in nausea] Lincoln: [queasy] "I can't eat anything else." Luan: [nauseated] "I can't even joke about burgers right now." Lana: "You don't have to eat 'em. Hops and I will take them home for breakfast." [Hops burps and the others sigh] Lana: "Great. Be right back. Don't move." [grabs Hops and steps on Leni's legs out of the booth to the dumb blonde's shock]

''[Lana is behind the bin again and the coupon is still jutting out. Hops fires his tongue, but this time, the employee puts a meal on the counter, causing his tongue to hide the shake dispenser, pouring shake on the floor and making the employee slip and fall]'' Lana: "Let's try that again, buddy." [Hops lands his tongue on the coupon this time, but the employee grabs it] Employee: "Hey, you little sneak!" [tears up the coupon] "You want more burgers, you gotta pay for them!" Lana: [nervous] "Okay, um, not a prob." [gathers up loose change under the booths, in the potted plants plus a worm for Hops, under the table with some gum, and in the ball pit; pours little change and some junk on the counter] "11 more burgers, please." Employee: [grossed out] "Jeez." [reaches for one of the pieces of junk] Lana: [grabs it] "Whoops. That's my chicken beak." [The employee, disgusted, takes the rest, puts it in the register, and gives Lana the burgers] Employee: "Are you guys almost done? I wanna get outta here. I rode my bike to work." Lana: "Don't worry. We'll be leaving soon. I got a great feeling about this batch."

[All the wrappers are unwrapped] Lincoln: "Sorry, Lana. I don't have it." Luna: "Me neither, dude." Luan: "Same here. I guess that's a wrap!" [laughs and realizes the bad timing] "Oh. Sorry." ''[Only one wrapper left. Lana opens it up, and it's not the winner]'' Lana: [heartbroken] "Dang it. I guess I'm not gonna be on Bobbie Fletcher's pit crew." Leni: [grossed out] "Ew. Someone wrapped my burger in this dirty old rag." [She's actually holding the winning wrapper] Lana: [overjoyed] "LENI! YOU FOUND IT! YOU FOUND IT!" [takes it and laughs] Employee: "Finally." [puts on his helmet and closes up the counter] Lana: [laughs some more] "Finding this wrapper means the world to me. Thanks for all your help, guys." Lynn: "Alright, now let's get home so I can let 'em rip in privacy." Lucy: [gags; to Luna and Luan] "Can I bunk with you guys tonight?" ''[They're about to leave. Leni opens the door and walks into some white stuff, making her siblings gasp]'' Leni: "Oops. This must be the closet where they keep their snow." Lincoln: "No, Leni. We're snowed in." [Outside shows that they are indeed trapped] Luna: "Aw, man. Are we gonna be stuck here all night?" Employee: [devastated] "No! I just worked a 12-hour shift! I can't take another second in this greasy dungeon!" ''[He tries to cycle his way through the snow, but it's useless. The kids pull him out and put him in a chair]'' Luan: "Sorry, buddy, there's snow way out!" [giggles] ''[The employee starts crying. Suddenly, a loud engine is heard and some tires screech, causing a thud, and it turns out to be Flip]'' Flip: "Guess who just earned a bunch of cheddar digging stranded suckers out of the snow?" [holds out his money] "Lay a dozen burgers on me, bicycle boy!" Lana: "You can save your cheddar. I already found the winning wrapper." Flip: "What?! Bull hockey! That baby was gonna make me a fortune! I'm out!" Lincoln: "Flip, wait! Can you give us a ride home? We're stuck here." Flip: "Stuck, are ya? I can help you out...for a price. Let's say, uh, I don't know...one winning wrapper?" Lana: "What? No way! Guys, we worked so hard for this. I'll get us home, I promise." Flip: "Suit yourself, but this offer expires the second that door hits my keister." [The employee latches onto Flip] Employee: [frantic] "Wait! I'll give you anything! My employee discount!" Flip: "Throw in a jumbo sack of curly fries and you got a deal." Employee: [grabs the sack and runs out] "I'm free!" Flip: [to the kids] "Catch ya on the Flip side!" [leaves] Lori: "Well, I hope you know what you're doing, Lana, because I am literally not sleeping on hamburger wrappers." Lana: "No worries. Flip's truck cleared the path, so we just need to make it to Vanzilla." [Flip's truck backs right into the restaurant] Flip: "Whoops!" [As he drives away, more snow falls and blocks the exit, making the kids groan] Lana: "Guys, I got this. Trust me. I'll get us out." [looks behind the counter and finds some fry scoops] "And I know just how to do it."

[Lana is digging through the snow with the fry scoops and smells something] Lana: "Leaky gas and old string cheese." [sniffs some more] "We're close to Vanzilla. Charles has been giving me bloodhound lessons." [digs all the way to one of Vanzilla's doors] "There you are, old girl! I'll have you out in a jiffy." [unearths Vanzilla] "Hey, guys! We're going home!"

[The kids are now in Vanzilla] Lori: "You literally did it, Lans!" Lana: "Thanks." [the others cheer for her] "Ha. And you guys wanted me to give my wrapper to Flip." [Lori tries to start the engine up, but it doesn't start] Lana: "Hmm...better check the engine block." [opens the hood] "Of ice?" [The others groan] Lola: "If you'd just let Flip give us a ride, we'd be home by now!" Lori: [groans while looking at her phone] "There's no signal here! I'm gonna warm up inside and use the landline!" [The others go back in the restaurant] Lana: "Don't worry, Hops. We'll figure this out." [gets an idea] "I know just the thing." [goes inside and brings back something] "Burger warming lamp!" [She turns it on, but it short circuits and causes a blackout in the restaurant] Lana's Siblings: "Dang it."

[The kids are shivering in the dark] Lori: "No signal. No landline. Bobby has no idea where I am. I feel so alone." Lola: "Bobby is the least of our problems! I'm so cold I can't feel my tushie!" Lincoln: "Come on, guys. We need to stay positive. We could be here all night." [Hops notices this, hops to Lana, and gets her attention while she's trying to defrost the engine] Lana: "Hops, not now. We'll play later." [Hops grabs her and leads her back to the restaurant] "Hops." ''[Hops shows Lana the condition her siblings are in. Lily starts coughing]'' Lori: "Oh, poor thing. I'll keep you warm." Leni: [with napkins she put together] "I made cute shawls. Who wants one?" Lola: "I'd rather freeze my tushie off than be seen wearing n-n-napkins." Lucy: "If we huddle together and conserve our dwindling body heat, we may be able to stave off hypothermia." [They all huddle up] Lucy: "I forgot how much I hate huddling." Lana: [guilty] "Aw, man. I've been so selfish." [crawls back]

[Later, a rumbling occurs and in comes what looks like a snow monster, making Lana's siblings scream in horror, but it shakes and reveals to be Flip] Lincoln: "Flip? What are you doing here?" Lana: [appears behind him] "I tracked him down. I just followed the smell of curly fries and B.O." Lisa: "You went out in these conditions? You could have lost a digit to frostbite." Lana: "I had to. I couldn't let you guys suffer all night because of me. So now Flip will take us home." Flip: "Right after I get that wrapper." [Lana reluctantly hands the wrapper over to Flip, to everyone's shock] Lincoln: "We know how much that wrapper meant to you. Thanks for giving it up and getting us out of here." [hugs Lana] [The others join in] Lynn: "Thanks, Lans."Luna: "Mighty dece of you."Luan: "We know how much this means to you, Lana."

[Flip's truck is pushing through the snow when they notice someone else out there] Flip: "Well, lookie here, another sucker." [It's revealed to be Bobbie Fletcher, and Flip just drives right past her] Flip: "Sit tight, chief! I'll be back for you later!" Lana: "Wait! That's Bobbie Fletcher! Stop, Flip! We have to help her!" [Flip sighs and backs up to Bobbie's car and Lana gets out to her hero] Lana: "Excuse me, Ms. Fletcher? What happened?" Bobbie: "Engine died. This baby can hit 210 in the straightaway, but throw a little snow at her and she conks out." [Lana looks at the engine] Lana: "Mind if I-" Bobbie: "It's all yours."

[Lana is working on the engine] Lana: "See if she'll turn over now." [Bobbie tries it and it works] Bobbie: "Dang. My pit crew isn't even that fast. What's your name, sport?" Lana: [proud] "Lana Loud." Bobbie: "Well, thank you, Lana Loud." [gives Lana her business card] "Give me a call when you're 18. I could use someone like you on my team." Lana: "Wow! Thanks!" [goes back into Flip's truck] [Her siblings cheer] Lori: "Way to go, Lana." [Flip is unimpressed and rolls down his window] Flip: "Hey, Blippity Fletchman! She may have fixed your car, but I'm the one who brought her here. How about a little something for me?" Bobbie: "Coming right up, pal." [Bobbie revs up her engine and speeds off, blasting some snow all over Flip]