Chuck Makes a Buck

Narrator: Just another  stupendous  day in the city, and Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy is pumping himself up for another day of villainous dare-devilness.

Chuck: I am the most evil of all the villains! So I guess that makes me the, um, oh, I’m not sure…

Narrator: The evilest?

Chuck: Yes! The evilest. I guess I’m the evilest sandwich-making guy! Yeah! That’s right! Why am I the evilest, you ask?

Narrator: Uh…

Chuck: Okay, I’ll tell you. Because I will stop at nothing to convince everyone that I am the greatest sandwich maker in the world… or the country… or at least the city, right? And I must be careful not to get caught by that tricky WordGirl. So I will lurk in the shadows. I lurk… I lurk like crazy!

Chuck’s Mom: (from upstairs) Chuckie-boo! Mommy needs a favor!

Chuck: Ma, I’m lurk-- I, I mean, I’m working down here!

Chuck’s Mom: But there’s nothing  edible  in this whole house! Go get your mother something to eat.

Chuck: When I’m finished here. Where was I? Oh, yes-- I was lurking in the shadows. Maybe I should wear a cape.

Chuck’s Mom: Chuckie, I’m hungry!

Chuck: I’ll be right there. (to himself) I wonder if they come in sizes though?

Chuck’s Mom: Chuckie!!

Chuck: Coming, ma.

Narrator: Later, at  Edible   Edible s Sandwich Shop…

(Scene: a sandwich-shaped building which has toppings such as lettuce, cheese, and tomato slices peering down from the roof. Chuck is inside, staring at a plate full of tiny sandwiches.)

Chuck: You call what you make here sandwiches? You’re afraid to answer me?

(The shop owner, Reuben Grinder, is behind the counter covered in yellow mustard.)

Reuben: Well, a little. This is my first robbery. But please continue, I’m listening.

Chuck: I- I could make better sandwiches with both hands tied behind my back! Well… I might need my hands to make the sandwiches…

(WordGirl and Huggy come through the door.)

WordGirl: Give it up, Chuck!

Reuben: Oh! Thank you WordGirl.

WordGirl: You’re welcome-- sandwich shop boss.

Reuben: Oh sweetheart, call me Reuben.

WordGirl: Reuben. You’re welcome, Reuben.

(Chuck pulls out his condiment ray.)

Chuck: You can’t stop me, WordGirl!

WordGirl: Oh yeah? Watch me.

(She picks up the plate of miniature sandwiches.)

Chuck: You wouldn’t!

(She tips the plate over, and the sandwiches fall toward the ground.)

Chuck: NO!

(He quickly leaps toward it, and catches the sandwiches before they can hit the floor.)

Chuck: No sandwich, not even these horrible ones should touch the floor!

(WordGirl grabs a ticket giver and wraps it around him.)

Reuben: WordGirl, my name’s Reuben Grinder and I own this place. I want to say thank you. Here’s your coupon for a free drink when you buy a combo meal!

WordGirl: Hey, thanks!

Reuben: Oh sure.

WordGirl: Now, come on Chuck. There’s a jail cell downtown with your name on it!

Chuck: Really? I must be pretty dangerous. I hope they spelled it right.

Reuben: Uh-- excuse me, Mr. Evil Sandwich-Making Guy,..

Chuck: J-- Just Chuck.

Reuben: Okay, well-- I found myself staring at that gorgeous face of yours, thinking, “It’s a shame you’re so evil, because your sandwich-shaped face could sell a lot of sandwiches! It’s an advertising goldmine!

WordGirl: Hey, yeah! Chuck would make a great spokesperson for your store!

Reuben: He sure would!

WordGirl: Hey, I have a  stupendous  idea.

Chuck: Uh, WordGirl, if you have a stupid idea, why would we want to hear it?

WordGirl: No, not a stupid idea, a  stupendous  idea. See,  stupendous  means something that’s huge and exciting and marvelous! Like my  stupendous  idea. Which is, if I promise to watch Chuck and make sure he behaves, would you let him be your spokesperson?

Reuben: I don’t know… he did try to rob me, and he insulted my sandwich making… but, that sandwich shaped face, it looks--  edible !

WordGirl: And it would really boost sales.

Reuben: What the heck, I’ll hire him!

WordGirl: Congratulations, Chuck! You’re the new spokesperson for  Edible   Edible s.

Chuck: Umm… well, it’s sounds a little too much like a job to me.

WordGirl: A job could be the thing that puts you on the straight and narrow. Just think of it like community service.

Chuck: I don’t think so.

WordGirl: And if you refuse, I’m taking you to jail.

Chuck: When you put it that way, this job could be my chance to show the world my sandwich-making skills. (to Reuben) I’ll be your new sandwich maker!

Reuben: Sandwich making? No, absolutely not. With that face, you were born to sell sandwiches. Now, go stand outside the shop, and point people in the right direction.

Chuck: Oh… darn this gorgeous face of mine!

(A montage of scenes involving Chuck: First, outside the sandwich shop, Chuck holds up a sandwich on a plate to entice potential customers. A crowd has gathered and seems to be excited as he presents the sandwich. WordGirl sits on top of the store sign, and Huggy takes pictures. People cry out, “We love you Chuck!” and “Chuck, you’re awesome!” Customers are seen running up to Reuben holding out cash to pay for sandwiches. Outside Chuck is posing for pictures with customers. One woman cries out, “Chuck! Of all the sandwich spokesmen, you’re the dreamiest!”-- but unfortunately Sammy Sub is standing behind her, and his feelings are hurt by this. Chuck’s face appears on magazine covers, and on giant Chuck balloons. He becomes so popular that WordGirl even has to help him escape several times from pursuing crowds.)

WordGirl: Hey, you okay Chuck?

Chuck: I don’t know about this job.

WordGirl: Ah, come on, you should be happy. You’re always talking about how you want people to notice you.

Chuck: Yeah, but I want to be known for my sandwich making skills, not my stunning good looks.

WordGirl: It’s still better than being in jail, isn’t it? (pause) Isn’t it? (pause) ISN’T IT?

Narrator: Later, at  Edible   Edible s, Reuben Grinder is up to his elbows in finger sandwiches.

Reuben: Oh, Chuck… I need your help! I have to make hundreds of sandwiches for the Fancy People’s Annual Awards Dinner.

Chuck: I FiNALLY get to make sandwiches! Yes!

WordGirl: Hey, I’LL be at that Fancy People’s Annual Awards Dinner. They’re giving me an award. In fact, I’ll need to get ready Hey Chuck, if I leave, will you behave yourself?

Chuck: Of course, what could go wrong? I’ll be doing what I love. Making sandwiches.

Reuben: Yeah, don’t worry, WordGirl. He’ll be fine here with me.

(Reuben pulls a plate of sandwiches away from Huggy.)

WordGirl: Oh, alright. I guess it’ll be okay. Come on, Captain Huggy Face! I have to go practice my speech.

(She takes off with Huggy.)

Chuck: This is gonna be great! Chuck, the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy actually making sandwiches! Who would have ever believed it?

Reuben: Okay Chuck, put on this apron.

Chuck: An apron?

Reuben: Yeah, put it on then I’ll show you how to make a sandwich.

Chuck: Show ME how to make a sandwich? Do you have any idea who you’re talking to? I am an ar-TEEST! I do things my way, and I don’t do aprons!

Reuben: Listen, I don’t have time to argue. If you don’t wanna wear the apron, then don’t wear it! Now, help me make more of these tiny teeny sandwiches.

Chuck: But those sandwiches, they’re so-- small!

Reuben: They’re supposed to be that size.

Chuck: (laughing) What? Come on, let’s make BIG sandwiches.

Reuben: Oh no, nothing offends the fancy more than a big sandwich.

Chuck: But--

Reuben: But, no buts! And no crusts, either.

Chuck: No-- crusts? Reuben--

Reuben: Oh please, it’s Mr. Grinder.

Chuck: Right. I can’t make these teeny things, they don’t even look  edible . Let me show these fancy people what a real is.

(Reuben has finally reached the boiling point with Chuck.)

Reuben: Chuck, make the sandwiches the way I asked you to! That is an order!

Chuck: No, I refuse. If I don’t make the sandwiches, are you gonna fire me?

Reuben: Oh, goodness no, I’ve never fired anyone, I hate confrontation.

Chuck: Good. Because I quit! I don’t need you, I’m Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy, not Chuck the Teeny Sandwich-Making and Promoting Guy! I’m off... to lurk in the shadows! Darn-- I really do need to get a cape.

Reuben: It would help!

Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Annual Fancy People’s Awards Dinner…

(Scene: The awards dinner. Despite the narrator’s comments, this must happen later than the previous scene, because Reuben is now at the banquet hall serving the sandwiches. Reginald the jewelry store owner and the Rich Old Lady are eating sandwiches with delight.)

Reginald: Hmm…  stupendous ! I haven’t seen sandwiches this tiny since I was a lad in short pants. You should have seen my wonderful little legs.

Rich Old Lady: Mmm, yum! What a  stupendous ly  edible  treat!

Reginald: Why do you call them  edible ?

Rich Old Lady: Because they’re okay to be eaten! That is the definition of  edible .

(WordGirl and Huggy walk by them.)

Rich Old Lady: Correct, WordGirl?

WordGirl: Yes, you’re right!  Edible  can be use to describe anything that’s okay to eat. Why, I’d love to share an  edible  treat with you right now. But I have to practice my speech. (laughs) That’s the usage of the word  edible . (She and Huggy walk off.)

(The Rich Old Lady giggles as she and Reginald grab another sandwich from Reuben’s plate.)

Reginald: Mmm. What a delight!

WordGirl: (practicing her speech) I’d like to thank all the fancy people who voted for me--

(Suddenly Reginald’s voice comes over the loudspeaker. He is standing at a podium speaking to those who are gathered.)

Reginald: Excuse me everyone, attención. Let’s salute the gentleman who brought us these tiny treats!

(There is a smattering of applause, and Reuben smiles and raises his hands.)

Reuben: Oh no, it’s nothing.

(A cart with a picture of Chuck on it rolls up next to Reginald. Chuck pushes Reginald out of the way and takes over the podium.)

Chuck: Attention, fancy people! You and Reuben Grinder don’t know anything about sandwiches. They’re supposed to be  stupendous  works of art, loaded with condiments!

(Chuck holds up a fire hose and sprays the room with mayonnaise, covering the guests.)

Reginald: Oh no!

Rich Old Lady: Eww! Oh my! Why, this whole time we’ve been part of a giant open-faced sandwich!

(She realizes that all of them have been standing on a carpet made out of a giant slice of bread. The Rich Old Lady starts to faint, but WordGirl holds her up.)

WordGirl: Gotcha!

Reginald: Oh dear, I’m up to my sock garters in mayonnaise!

Chuck: Your love of tiny sandwiches is a crime against… sandwiches, and sandwich makers! And I’m the best darn sandwich maker in the world! Or at least in the city. No, I’m sticking to, in the world. Is that okay with everyone?

(WordGirl flies next to him with Huggy.)

WordGirl: Not with me, Chuck!

Chuck: Hi, WordGirl! I quit my job, you know.

WordGirl: Yeah, I kind of figured that when you broke in here and covered everyone in mayonnaise. Why did you quit?

Chuck: I’m an ar-TEEST! I can’t be told what to do!

WordGirl: But sometimes-- arteests have to compromise.

Chuck: Not sandwich arteests!

WordGirl: (in a whisper) This is really embarrassing, Chuck! I’m supposed to be responsible for you, and you crash a party where I’m getting a reward.

(She slaps herself on the forehead.)

Chuck: I’m sorry, I guess I didn’t think about your award.

WordGirl: So why don’t you leave now, and we’ll forget this whole thing ever happened, okay?

Chuck: Sure.

(A short pause. WordGirl smiles, thinking she has won.)

Chuck: Are you crazy?? Do you know how hard it is to change a floor into a giant piece of bread?

(He turns the fire hose onto WordGirl and Huggy, covering them in mayonnaise as well.)

Chuck: (speaking into the microphone) You people don’t know sandwiches, but maybe if you spend some time BEING one, you’ll know what a REAL sandwich is!

(Chuck presses a button on a remote, and a large slice of bread starts coming down from the ceiling, threatening to press down on the guests.)

Reginald: For the love of all things fancy, the upper crust is going to crush the upper crust!

Narrator: The fancy people are in quite a pickle! Oh, the humanity!

WordGirl: Chuck, you made your point. Please stop it now!

Chuck: Are you kidding? I’m about to make sandwich history!

WordGirl: And I’m about to rewrite your sandwich history! Hi- YA!

(She breaks free of the mayonnaise trap. Then she flies underneath the bread slice coming down on the others, and breaks it into crumbs.)

Reginald: Oh. Thanks to WordGirl, we don’t have to experience the horror of being a  stupendous ly large sandwich!

Rich Old Lady: Oh, and the tiny sandwiches are saved!

(WordGirl flies next to Chuck.)

WordGirl: (in a sad voice) I really thought I helped you find a path to the straight and narrow.

Chuck: You can’t change me, WordGirl. It’s only be a matter of time before I’ll be back lurking in the shadows! (sighs) I really need to get a cape.

(The police sergeant walks up to him, and takes him away. Then WordGirl frees Huggy from the mayonnaise.)

WordGirl: Come on, Huggy! Let’s go help clean up this sandwich mess! I hope you brought your appetite!

(Huggy ties a tablecloth to his back, and holds it up like a cape. He and WordGirl then clear the mayonnaise off of all the guests.)

Narrator: Another  stupendous  job by WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face! And please, for all your  edible  needs, go to  Edible   Edible s. And stop by and say hello to the new spokesperson, yours truly. Tune in next time for another  stupendous  adventure of-- WordGirl!

(At the closing scene, WordGirl is hovering in front of the fancy people, eating one of Reuben’s tiny sandwiches.)