That Smarts

[MUTTERING] CORE, MATHEMATICAL ESSENCE. O. K. , WHERE IS THAT THING? HMM. AND ENTERING IN FACTORING INHMM. [MUTTERING] NUMERICAL EQUIVALENT THE PROBLEM THERE AHH! PINKY. PINKY! WHOA! NARF! WHAT WERE YOU DOING UP THERE, PINKY? OH, I WAS HAVING A DEVIL OF A TIME CLEANING THE CHIMNEY, BRAIN. WE DON'T HAVE A CHIMNEY. OH, WELL, THERE YOU ARE, THEN. NO, PINKY. THERE YOU ARE. I AM ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THAT VICINITY. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT, PINKY, WHY IT IS THAT WE HAVEN'T YET SUCCEEDED IN TAKING OVER THE WORLD? OH, I KNOW WHY, BRAIN-- GREMLINS. LITTLE SPRINKLY SPRITES THAT CONFUSE US AND MIX US UP, ALWAYS TWIDDLING THEIR LITTLE FINGERS IN OUR EARS. GRRRR! AN INTERESTING THEORY, BUT I'VE REVIEWED OUR PAST EFFORTS, PINKY, TURNING THE SITUATIONS INTO NUMBERS IN AN EFFORT TO LOCATE THE EXACT PROBLEM. OH. WELL, THAT SOUNDS VERY, UM NARF! YES, I'M SURE IT DOES. I'VE PLOTTED THE NUMBERS AND THE RESULT IS QUITE INTERESTING. EGAD, BRAIN! THAT LOOKS LIKE ME, BUT FLAT! IT IS YOU, PINKY. MY CALCULATIONS SHOW THAT YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. PINKY? YES. PINKY. SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING, IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE A SPAZZY BEETLE-HEADED DUFUS WITH THE INTELLECT OF A MULE HOOF THAT I HAVE YET TO CONQUER THE WORLD! OH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET RID OF ME, ARE YOU, BRAIN? I MEAN, YOU, WORKING AS A SINGLE? LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO JERRY LEWIS AFTER HE SPLIT WITH DEAN. ALL THAT STUFF IN YOUR HAIR. POINT TAKEN. BUT FEAR NOT, I HAVE ANOTHER PLAN. PINKY, I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU SMART. II DON'T UNDERSTAND, BRAIN. EXACTLY. BUT YOU WILL, MY FRIEND YOU WILL. EGAD, BRAIN! WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY JUST MAKE THEMSELVES REALLY SMART? I MEAN, THIS ALL SEEMS SO SIMPLE. LIKE ALL GREAT THINGS, PINKY, THE IDEA IS SIMPLE, BUT THE EXECUTION-- OH, THERE LIES THE DIFFICULTY. THERE LIES THE GENIUS. TAKING A LITTLE NAP, IS HE? PINKY, OPERATING THIS MACHINE REQUIRES CALCULATIONS ON THE FLY, SPLIT-SECOND DECISIONS, HUGE AMOUNTS OF DATA, INCREDIBLE MENTAL ABILITIES, AND PRECISE TIMING. IN OTHER WORDS-- I COULDN'T DO IT. NO. WHAA! HA HA HA! HEE HEE HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA! HMM47 AUGHT 6. FIBONACCI "N" MINUS ONE COMING, COMING NOW! PINKY? HA HA! HA HA HA! WHOO! THAT WAS FUN, BRAIN. HA HA HA! NARF! OOH, I'M ALL TINGLY. FUN, PERHAPS, BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT SUCCESSFUL. NO, NO, NO. I THINK IT WAS. AT FIRST IT SEEMED LIKE THE FOLDED DIPOLE WASN'T WORKING AS YOUR CENTER-FED HORIZONTALLY MOUNTED CONDUCTOR, BUT FREQUENCIES BELOW 30 MEGAHERTZ-- LOUD AND CLEAR! AND I MUST SAY, BRAIN, THE PEAK VALUE WAVE SHAPE OF THE IMPULSE VOLTAGE? GLORIOUS! NARF! I MEAN, HITTING THAT MAXIMUM VALUE WITHOUT APPRECIABLE SUPERIMPOSED OSCILLATIONS-- EGAD, BRAIN! BRILLIANT! HA HA HA! YES! HERE IS TONIGHT'S PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION, PINKY. I'M CURIOUS AS TO YOUR OPINION. RIGHT-O, BRAIN. NARF! I WILL POSE AS JIMMY HOFFA, BACK FROM VACATION. LABOR LEADERS WILL BOW BEFORE ME AND HELP ME UTILIZE THE GIANT INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX TO BUILD THIS-- THE FORCED VERTO-CONVECTOR. IT WILL CREATE MILLIONS OF STEAMING, TINY GEYSERS THAT WILL ACTUALLY LIFT PEOPLE SEVERAL INCHES OFF THE GROUND, IMMOBILIZING THEM. EGAD, BRAIN! IT'S LIKE GIANT AIR HOCKEY. BRILLIANT! OH, WAIT. NO, NO, NO. YES, PINKY? WELL, THE COEFFICIENT VALUES OF YOUR FOURIERS-- I MEAN, THIS SHOULD BE SINE, NOT COSINE. POIT. KIND OF FLIPS THE WHOLE THING AROUND. WON'T WORK. PINKYTHAT'S RIGHT. ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? YES, I AM. THIS IS FANTASTIC. DO YOU SEE? YOU'VE SAVED US AN ENTIRE EVENING. TREMENDOUS! FORGET THAT PLAN. LOOK AT THIS ONE COLLEAGUE. OH, BRAIN! HA HA! POIT! WE WILL PROGRAM A COMPUTER TO GENERATE A FANTASTICALLY POPULAR ROMANCE NOVEL. OH, LOVELY! IT WILL CONTAIN A HYPNO-PHONETIC SENTENCE SO LONG AND SO CONFUSING, THE READER WILL BE FORCED TO REREAD IT ENDLESSLY OUT LOUD. AND THE FREQUENCIES OF THOSE SOUNDS WILL HYPNOTIZE ALL AROUND THEM, PRIMED FOR MY SUGGESTION THAT I RULE THE WORLD! ZOUNDS! ANOTHER GOOD ONE, BRAIN! OH, WAIT. NO, NO. UM THE FREQUENCY NEEDS TO BE AN EXACT INTEGRAL MULTIPLE OF THE INPUT, DOESN'T IT? OR, UM, IT WILL BE ALL WOBBLE-WOBBLE. NOT HYPNOTIC AT ALL. NOPE, WON'T WORK. YES. HMM. YOU'RE RIGHT. TOO BAD. [BRAIN] WELL, HERE'S ANOTHER. BY CONVERTING OUR CAGE INTO A NUCLEAR REACTOR, WE CAN PRODUCE ENOUGH ENERGY-- UH-UH. YOUR MIGRATION AREA IS TINY, BRAIN. THE NEUTRON WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SLOW DOWN FROM FISSION TO THERMAL IN HERE. PLEASE, PINKY, LET ME FINISH. I MEAN, IT'S GOT TO BE AT LEAST 1/6 OF THE MEAN SQUARE DISTANCE BETWEEN-- PLEASE STOP! BUT, BRAIN-- PINKY! IT SEEMS TO ME, BRAIN, THAT IT'S NOT MY FAULT AT ALL THAT THESE PLANS HAVEN'T WORKED. WELL, OF COURSE IT IS. LOOK! I FIGURED IT OUT MYSELF. THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE. HMM ACTUALLY, THERE SEEMS TO BE A LITTLE BOO-BOO RIGHT HERE. OH, HERE, TOO. AND HERE. OH, YES. LOTS OF ERRORS. STOP IT, PINKY! STOP! THESETHIS IT'S PREPOSTEROUS WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! IT'S--IT'S RIDICULOUS! IT'S ABSURD! BUT--BUT, BRAIN. JUST GO. JUST MOVE AWAY FROM ME. GO! BUT NARF. NO. NO! IT IS ME. OH, NO. OH! NO NO UH NO! HE'S EVEN SMARTER THAN I! SMARTER! ACCEPTING MY OWN ERRORS. THE TEAM NEEDS BALANCE. BALANCEYES. THEREFORE, TO SUCCESSFULLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD, A SACRIFICE MUST BE MADE. ONE OF US MUST BE AN IMBECILE. I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN IT WAS, "NO, PINKY," THIS, BOP ON THE HEAD. "NO, PINKY," THAT, BOP ON THE HEAD. BUT NOWEGAD! BEING A SMARTY IS NO FUN. BRAIN DOESN'T LIKE ME. I MEAN, WE HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD ONCE TONIGHT. I'M SMART ENOUGH NOW. I COULD DO IT! FIBONACCI "N" PLUS ONE COMING. NARF! COMING [WHISTLE BLOWS] PINKY. OH, PINK--OOF! HA HA! PINKY, LOOK AT ME! I'M A NINNY, A WOODEN-HEADED DUM-DUM. DUH! DUH! DUH! DUH! NOT A SMART THOUGHT IN MY WHOLE EMPTY HEAD. NARF! NARF TO THE WORLD. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TONIGHT, PINKY? POIT! I SAY, POIT! PINKY? [MACHINE TURNS ON] HA HA HA! HA HA HA! IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK! BRAIN, I FIXED IT. I'M A NITWIT! HA HA! HURRAH! I'VE FIXED IT, AS WELL, PINKY. I'M AS DENSE AS A TREE STUMP. YOU MEAN YES. WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE YOU SMART AGAIN, WON'T WE? WE CAN'T, PINKY. WE'RE BOTH TOO STUPID TO OPERATE THE MACHINE. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT, BRAIN? SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY. WHAT'S THAT? I HAVE NO IDEA. POIT. NARF. THEY'RE DINKY, THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN.