The Indecision Amalgamation


 * Leonard (on phone): Don’t worry about it, buddy. Okay, bye. That was Wil, he’s feeling a lot better. Apparently, he’s 12-down in the TV Guide crossword puzzle.
 * Raj: Did he help you make a decision about the movie?
 * Penny: No. Did you figure out what you’re gonna do about the two girls?
 * Raj: As a matter of fact, I did. I’ve spent so many years living in fear, saying no to new experiences, but from now on, I’m gonna say yes, yes to love, yes to adventure, yes to life. Whatever it may be, the answer’s going to be yes.
 * Howard: He’s gonna die alone, right?
 * Leonard: Yes.
 * Penny: Yes.
 * Bernadette: (out of vision) Yes.


 * Sheldon: You'd think after Xbox, there'd be Xbox 2. But no, next came Xbox 360. And now, after 360, comes Xbox One. Why "one"? Maybe that's how many seconds of thought they put into naming it.


 * Amy: This is a nightmare! How will you ever make a decision?
 * Sheldon: You see? I don't know! What should I do?
 * Amy: (Shouting, while pounding the table with both hands) PLEASE PASS THE BUTTER!


 * Amy: I've heard that if you flip a coin, it will tell you how you actually feel, because you'll either be disappointed or excited by the outcome.
 * Sheldon: Interesting.
 * Amy: So, heads it's PS4, tails it's Xbox One.
 * Sheldon: All right, I'll try.
 * Amy: [flips coin, and Sheldon catches it] What is it?
 * Sheldon: A quarter. [throws quarter away, to Amy's annoyance]
 * Amy: Could've given it back to me. That was a choice.


 * Sheldon: On the one hand, the Xbox One has a better camera, but the PS4 has a removable hard drive. Thoughts?
 * Amy: I can't feel my legs.


 * Leonard: Oh. How did the audition go?
 * Penny: I killed it. I was even able to cry real tears right on the spot.
 * Leonard: Oh, that’s great.
 * Penny: I know. Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here comes the waterworks.
 * Sheldon: Here comes the waterworks! [dashes to the bathroom]
 * Leonard: Aren't you going to ask?
 * Penny: What is this, my first day?


 * Emily: Your friend e-mailed me because you were afraid to, then you tracked me down and acted like a lunatic?
 * Raj: Yes. Rajesh Koothrappali.


 * Penny: Sometimes I feel like I can control the killer gorilla instinct inside of me, but then I see these bananas and I just want to eat them and then kill people.


 * Raj: And if it's a clear night, I'm gonna lay some romantic astronomy on her.
 * Penny: Like what? Show me.
 * Raj: I can't do that to Leonard. This is some powerful panty-dropping stuff.
 * Leonard: You have my blessing. Go for it.
 * Raj: Okay. Penny, two of the brightest stars in the night sky are Altair and Vega. And it is said they were deeply in love, but forever separated by the celestial river of the Milky Way.
 * Penny: Oh, that’s sad.
 * Raj: It is. But once a year on the seventh day of the seventh month, Vega cries so hard that all the magpies of the world fly up and create a bridge with their wings so the two lovers can be together for a single night of passion.
 * Penny: Wow.
 * Leonard: Okay, that's enough.


 * (The Apartment 4A scene where Sheldon enters the room. Penny and Leonard look surprised to the sound of door slamming open. Scene of Sheldon getting the five folks to take a vote)
 * Sheldon: Quick poll. PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
 * Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
 * Sheldon: Penny.
 * Penny: Huh?
 * Sheldon: Leonard.
 * Leonard: PS4.
 * Sheldon: Wolowitz.
 * Howard: Both great.
 * Sheldon: Bernadette.
 * Bernadette: I like the Wii.
 * Sheldon: Thanks, grandma.


 * Raj: What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to choose between Emily and Lucy?
 * Howard: Why do you have to choose? Date both of them.
 * Raj: I can’t date two women at once. Zero women, that’s my sweet spot.
 * Penny: Unless you’re sleeping with one of them, seeing other people isn’t a big deal.
 * Raj: But what if one of them asks me what I was up to the night before and I was with the other one? Then, what, do I lie?
 * Howard and Bernadette (together): Yes.
 * Bernadette: (shocked) What do you mean, yes?
 * Howard: (shocked as well) What do you mean, yes?
 * Bernadette: Were you seeing other women when we started dating?
 * Howard: No. Were you seeing other men?
 * Bernadette: No!
 * Leonard: Were you seeing other men?
 * Penny: No.
 * [beat of silence]
 * Leonard: Aren’t you gonna ask me?
 * Penny: Come on, really?


 * Wil:  (in the bikini orangutan costume) Penny!? (removes his mask) We're working together! Awesome! (holds up his arm as Penny awkwardly hi-fives him.)