Borderlands 2

My First Gun
(Waking up in a snow-capped wasteland)

Claptrap: Great - another dead Vault Hunter. Handsome Jack's been busy.

Claptrap: Wait a minute - you're not dead! YES! Now I can get off this glacier! Claptrap, your metaphorical ship has finally come in!

Claptrap: Allow me to introduce myself - I am a CL4P-TP steward bot, but my friends call me Claptrap!

Claptrap: Or they would, if any of them were still alive. Or had existed in the first place! Oh - I've got something for you.

Claptrap: Here - take this ECHO communicator that I totally didn't loot from one of these corpses! It comes with a class-twelve heads-up display, complete with a minimap! Now – come, come, friend. Let’s get you inside.

(ECHO communicator: BOOT SEQUENCE INITIATED)

(ECHO communicator: INITIALIZING… HEALTH DISPLAY MODULE)

(ECHO communicator: INITIALIZING… EXPERIENCE POINT MODULE)

(ECHO communicator: INITIALIZING… DIGITAL MAP MODULE)

Claptrap: Man, this is great! Now that I’ve met a mighty Vault Hunter, I can finally join the resistance in Sanctuary, take vengeance against Jack for killing my product line, and repair my central processor so I stop thinking out loud! I wonder what it’s like to have a belly button.

Unknown woman: I’ll explain everything soon, but know this – you’re alive for a reason, and I… am here to help you.

Claptrap: Well done! Your ability to walk short distances without dying will surely be Handsome Jack’s downfall!

Claptrap: Aaaaaand open!

Claptrap: Just a little added security. Gotta keep those Bullymongs at bay, or they’ll rip your eyes out!

Claptrap: Sorry about the mess. Everything Jack kills, he dumps here – bandits, Vault Hunters, Claptrap units… If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed!

Claptrap: Now, the creatures around here are dangerous, none more  than this Bullymong named Knuckle Dragger – killed everyone I know. Anywho, I keep a pistol in the cabinet over there for emergencies, but in here, we should be pretty safe!

Claptrap: Ohohoh! Ohohoh! (Unsure) (Not Subtitled)

(Knuckle Dragger climbs down into Claptrap’s place from a hole in the ceiling and grabs Claptrap with its right arm.)

(Not subtitled)

Claptrap: WAAAAH!

(Knuckle Dragger pulls out Claptrap’s “eye” and leaves the place through the same hole in the ceiling.)

Claptrap: MY EYE! AHHHHHH!

(ECHO communicator: INITIALIZING… OBJECTIVE INDICATOR)

Claptrap: The gun. The gun in the cabinet.

(Unable to see, Claptrap knocks into various obstacles)

Claptrap: Ah!

Claptrap: Oof!

Claptrap: Ow!

Blindsided
Unknown woman: Once upon a time, four Vault Hunters changed Pandora forever. But their time has passed -- thanks to Handsome Jack. Pandora needs a new hero. I know that hero is you.

Claptrap: Apart from the excruciating pain, this is great! I’ve been waiting for a mighty Vault Hunter to help me reach Sanctuary! I will be your wise leader, and you shall be my fearsome minion! Ahahaha!

Claptrap: Great! Just let me get this door open and we’ll hunt ourselves a Bullymong.

Claptrap: Onward, seeing-eye minion! Let me know if I’m gonna run into anything!

(Claptrap rolls straight into an ice block)

Claptrap: Ow!

Claptrap: I’ll just assume you didn’t see that.

Claptrap: Even though Knuckle Dragger blindsided me, I know my way around this glacier. I bet  we’ll find my eye in Frostbite Crevasse.

Unknown woman: Stick close to the robot – he will help you get off this glacier, and into the city of Sanctuary. That is the only place you will be safe.

Claptrap: Ahhh! I hear Bullymongs! Sic ‘em, minion!

Claptrap: PROTECT ME, SQUIRE!

( All Bullymongs are killed )

Claptrap: Let’s go! If we don’t get my eye back, we’ll never get to Sanctuary!

(A faint rumbling sound is heard, the ground trembles slightly and Claptrap falls flat on his face)

Claptrap: Ooh!

Claptrap: Ugh – AGAIN?! Jack’s tearing Pandora apart to find the Vault. They say Jack’s drilling operations are causing those earthquakes. That, or your mom just got outta bed, ZING!

Unknown woman: You’ll need that funny little robot’s help to reach Sanctuary, the last bastion of the resistance against Jack, and the only place you will be truly safe. Get to Sanctuary.

(Entering Frostbite Crevasse)

(Claptrap falls off a short cliff and plants headfirst firmly into snow)

Claptrap: Hey! What’s that noise? Are you fighting?

(All Bullymongs are killed)

Claptrap: …you still there? I don’t hear Bullymongs anymore. Kinda just waiting on you. To get me outta here. But please, take your time. Can’t help but notice you’re not getting me out of here. Maybe you’re thinking, 'Oh, Claptrap’s such a strong and noble paragon of justice and skill, he can get out himself.' Which, most of the time, you would be totally right about. But as it stands right now, I could use some help. And if you don‘t I’m gonna have to pull out the big guns: I’ll hit ya with the silent treatment. See how you like that, … Yep. Giving you the silent treatment. Feel the sting of my passive aggression. Being totally silent, … Not talking to you. Not at all. Silence, … Total silence.

(Claptrap is dug out of the snow)

Claptrap: Many thanks, friend of friends! Onward!

Handsome Jack: Hey, kiddo. Jack here – President of Hyperion. Lemme explain how things work here: Vault Hunter shows up. Vault Hunter looks for the new Vault. Vault Hunter gets killed. By me. You see- seeing the problem here? You’re still alive. So, if you could just do me a favour and off yourself, that’d be great. Thanks, pumpkin.

Claptrap: Aaaaaand open!

Claptrap: Oh! My eye just switched back on! I see a tough-looking minion, and an incredibly handsome robot. Which means that whoever has my eye…

Claptrap: …is very close.

(Title card for Knuckle Dragger: This is gonna hurt)

(Knuckle Dragger moderately wounded, more Bullymongs arrive)

Claptrap: Oh GOD! They’re coming outta the wall-sphincters!

(All Bullymongs defeated)

Claptrap: Woohoo! If you would retrieve my eye for me, i'd be grateful. Oh, and I apologize for saying 'wall-sphincters.' I say that a lot when I’m frightened.

(Vault Hunter picks up another weapon)

(ECHO communicator: INITIALIZING: WEAPON DISPLAY MODULE)

(Vault Hunter picks up Claptrap’s eye)

Claptrap: Got my eye? Great! Now we just gotta find someone to put it back into me. Much as I’m sure you’d like to jam your fist into my skull, optic surgery is best left to professionals -- my pal Hammerlock in Liar’s Berg can fix me up! Allons-y!

Claptrap: Liar’s Berg’s on the other side of this Hyperion barge. What say we cut through it, chum?

Claptrap: HA! This door’s Hyperion tech – child’s play! Aaaaaaand OPEN!

(Claptrap stands in front of a digital-optical scanner next to the door and gets scanned by it)

Hyperion AI: Intruders detected. Locking door.

(The door to the barge is locked and reinforced)

Claptrap: Well, it was nice knowing ya! I hear getting eating alive by Bullymongs isn’t such a bad way to go.

Unknown woman: Let me get that for ya.

Unknown woman: Executing phase shift.

(Door opens)

Claptrap: Yes! I knew I'd get it eventually.

Unknown woman: You’re welcome! Perks of being an Artificial Intelligence. I’m networked into almost everything in this planet.

Mysterious AI: It’s a long way to Sanctuary -- please take whatever you need for the journey ahead.

Claptrap: Lemme know when you’re ready to go meet with Sir Hammerlock, minion.

Claptrap: This way to Southern Shelf, minion -- let's go! …or, not! We’ll go at your pace! I’m obviously the brains of this operation of course, but you’re the Vault Hunter with the brawn. And the guns. And the power of sight. Which is exactly what you want out of a minion, really. That’s like, three of the top four things one generally wants out of a minion. You’ll figure out the fourth when the time is right. The fourth is pizzazz.