Impeach Fuzz

(Opening shot: the city skyline at night.)

Narrator: The city of Townsville!

(Close-up of the Mayor's fist in the air.)

Mayor: (from o.c., echoing) I have a dream!

(Back to the skyline, turning down toward the street.)

Narrator: A city of growth and prosperity.

(Extreme close-up of the Mayor\s face, turning up toward his raised hand.)

Mayor: (echoing) Of the people, for the people, and by the people!

(Pan along the skyline.)

Narrator: A city run by one man.

(Pan slowly across the Mayor\s face.)

Mayor: (echoing) That we, the citizens of Townsville...

(The steps of Townsville Hall, turning up toward its dome.)

Narrator: A man of strength and integrity.

(Close-up of the Mayor from behind, turning up toward his head. He is at a podium.)

Mayor: (echoing) ...promise to uphold the virtues of our city.

(The dome, seen from between other buildings.)

Narrator: Yes, this city. (Zoom in on the dome.) Our city. Run by... (Close-up of the Mayor at the podium.) ...the Mayor!

Mayor: And furthermore...(raising two "V for Victory" hand signs) Ich bin ein Townsviller!

(Pull back to the sound of clapping. He stands on his desk in the office, facing Ms. Bellum.)

Ms. Bellum: Uh...that was quite a speech, Mayor. (She stops clapping.) But why did you even bother writing it? No one's running against you. No one ever does.

Mayor: Oh, my dear girl! If George Washington used snails instead of greyhounds to pull his sled, there'd be no trees for Honest Abe to shove from the highest mountain.

Ms. Bellum: What?

Mayor: That's right! (jumping down, crossing to her) I'm a fierce political creature, and I never give up the fight. Besides, I love to kiss all of those adorable babies! (He crooks his arms as if cradling an infant and kisses the air loudly.)

(Balloons and streamers rain down, and the scene changes to a large campaign banner strung up outside: "VOTE FOR MAYOR FOR MAYOR.")

Mayor: (from o.c.) Vote for Mayor for Mayor! (Pull back; he is stumping in front of a crowd of apathetic people.) Vote for Mayor for Mayor! Vote for Mayor for Mayor!

(Pan across the city as he repeats this 'slogan' over and over; the farther out we go, the more his voice echoes. Stop on the forest outside Townsville and zoom in; the trees part to reveal Fuzzy Lumkins' shack. Inside, Fuzzy is asleep in his bed. He suddenly wakes up, looking very angry. Back to the Mayor.)

Mayor: Vote for Mayor for Mayor!

Fuzzy: (from o.c., echoing) SHUT UP!! (Pan to him, now standing in the park.) I says, shut up!

(Quick series of close-ups of surprised onlookers, including the Talking Dog and the Mayor himself, then pull back to show Fuzzy facing the Mayor from the back of the crowd.)

Man: (with mounting enthusiasm) "Shut up"?..."Shut up"?..."Shut up"? Yeah! I like it! "Shut up"! I like it a lot! "Shut up"! What an excellent campaign!

Talking Dog: Yes, yes, very concise.

Woman 1: And straightforward.

Woman 2: He's got my vote!

Man: Yeah! Fuzzy should run for Mayor!

Talking Dog: Yeah!

Woman 1: Yeah!

Woman 2: Yeah!

Mayor: (small voice) No.

(A newspaper spins into view. The front page shows a photo of an irritated Fuzzy and the following headline: "FUZZY ENTERS CAUCUS IN LOUD RAUCUS." A campaign poster for the Mayor is seen, and he puts on a button and hat promoting himself. Another paper spins up; this time, the picture of Fuzzy shows him looking a bit bewildered. This headline reads "COUNTRY BUMKIN LUMKINS LEADS IN POLLS!!!!!" We see Fuzzy asleep in a hammock in the woods, then the Mayor's campaign-mobile rolling through the streets. Back to Fuzzy, napping in bed, then to an assembly line of crying babies rolling past the Mayor. He kisses each one on the head. Another paper appears, with the headline "FUZZY POPULAR AMONG POPULOUS." Close-up of a ballot as it receives a check mark by Fuzzy's name; next we see a stream of ballots being dropped into boxes.)

(One final newspaper spins toward the camera - its headline: "FUZZY WINS!" Before it reaches us, cut to Fuzzy asleep in his porch rocking chair. A paper is flung into view, plastering itself across his face. He instantly wakes up and yanks it away.)

Fuzzy: GET OFFA MY...Huh?

(He raises the paper to look at the front page. Now we see it with the aforementioned headline and a picture of a rather bleary Fuzzy. He drops it and smiles broadly. Dissolve to him in the Mayor's office, pointing and laughing stupidly at the loser of the election, then cut to outside Townsville Hall. The Mayor crashes through the window and lands headfirst, well away from the city, as the laughter continues. Back in the office, Fuzzy - now dressed in a much larger version of the Mayor's suit - lowers the small top hat onto his head. Pull back from him, sitting behind an old wooden crate for a desk. The office is strewn with worn-out tires, chickens, and random junk - an instant bit of the backwoods. Dissolve to the Mayor, sitting dejected and disheveled among garbage far from the city. He whimpers softly as a bird lands near him. Fade to black.)

(Snap to an intercom speaker on Fuzzy's desk.)

Fuzzy: (from o.c., as if calling a hog) Bel-LUM!

Ms. Bellum: (over intercom, wearily) Yes, Mayor? (Pull back to show Fuzzy.)

Fuzzy: Scoot your purty little self in here, and let's take a gander at you!

Ms. Bellum: (over intercom) Do I have to?

Fuzzy: I said... (hog call) ...sco-OOT!

(Cut to the office door at floor level. Ms. Bellum steps into view, in bare feet rather than her customary red high heels. Turn up to show her red suit gone; she wears denim cutoffs, with a piece of rope for a belt, and a short white top with red polka dots tied in front. Her hair is in two pigtails. Fuzzy lets off a wolf whistle from o.c. Cut back and forth between the two of them.)

Ms. Bellum: (dryly) Charming. Is there anything else I can do for you, Mayor?

Fuzzy: (cupping hand to ear) Wha-a-at?

Ms. Bellum: (sighing, then adopting backwoods drawl) Well, uh, howdy, Your Fuzziness. Is thar anything else I can do fer ye?

Fuzzy: Hoo doggie, I likes that! (He laughs briefly.) Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! I almost forgotted. I gots me an emergency! What am I 'posed to do?

Ms. Bellum: (normal voice) Well, first off...

(Cut to Fuzzy, who clears his throat, then back to her.)

Ms. Bellum: (sighing, adopting drawl) I reckon you all should call them thar Powerpuff Girls.

(Close-up of the hotline, buzzing. Pull back as Blossom picks it up. She is in the bedroom.)

Blossom: Um...howdy. This is Blossom.

Fuzzy: (over hotline, garbled) I gots me an urgent emergency over here! (He trails off into loud gibberish, which goes on for some time.)

Blossom: Pardon me?

Fuzzy: (over hotline) I said... (More gibberish.)

Blossom: (as Fuzzy continues) Mayor, it sounds like you're talking into a...

(Close-up of a tin can in Fuzzy's hand. Pull back to show him yelling into it; a string emerges from its base.)

Fuzzy: I gots an emergency! Get here quick!

(There is a crash o.c.; he turns around, and we see the girls standing in the office below the hole they have just smashed in the ceiling. Back to Fuzzy.)

Fuzzy: (pointing o.c.) Help me catch my pig!

(A squealing porker runs past the girls, and they give chase all over the office, flying in different directions. Blossom and Bubbles crash into each other, and Buttercup is knocked into the air as the pig escapes through an open door. Extreme close-up of Fuzzy, tin can in hand.)

Fuzzy: Emergency!

(Cut to Blossom in the office, scrubbing laundry on a washboard. Pan to Bubbles, who is working the wringer, then to a long clothesline festooned with wet wash. Buttercup is at the far end, hanging up the clothes. None of them look particularly happy with this assignment. Extreme close-up of Fuzzy's mouth as he yells into the can.)

Fuzzy: Emergency!

(Cut to an old jalopy in the office, its hood up. Blossom wrenches on the engine. We see Buttercup milking a goat, then Bubbles squeezing a potato for juice - a feedstock for moonshine vodka, perhaps. Again they look quite displeased. Extreme close-up of Fuzzy, yelling.)

Fuzzy: E-MER-GEN-CY!

(Now the girls appear in hillbilly clothes, playing as a washboard band. Blossom plucks a makeshift bass built from a washtub, broom handle, and piece of rope. Buttercup plays the board, and Bubbles blows into an empty jug. Pan from them to Fuzzy; he claps his hands and stomps his foot - this is heaven for him. After a few moments, he reaches o.c, then comes up with his banjo and starts to play along with them. Fade to black.)

(Fade in to the exterior of the girls' house and zoom in slowly. Inside, turn down from the bedroom windows as Blossom speaks. The girls are sprawled out on the floor. Bubbles blows wearily into a jug.)

Blossom: Here, pig...Soo-wee, pig...Piggy pig...

Buttercup: We haven't fought crime in weeks. And if I have to milk another goat, I'm gonna be sick! (She sticks out her tongue.)

Blossom: Fuzzy isn't a real Mayor. He doesn't care about our town, he only cares about himself.

Buttercup: Yeah. Mayor or not, we gotta impeach Fuzzy and get our old Mayor back.

Bubbles: But...we don't know where he is.

Blossom: No, but we know someone who does.

(Close-up of the tin-can "phone" in Fuzzy's office. It begins to rattle. Cut to him asleep on a run-down bed; Ms. Bellum, seen from the knees down, tiptoes into view past him and stops at the stand the can sits on. She picks it up.)

Ms. Bellum: (drawling) Howdy... (normal voice, softly) Er, I-I mean, hello. (Cut to head level; excited talking is heard over the line.) Thank goodness it's you, girls!...Yes...Yes, of course. Meet me at the park outside of town in fifteen minutes.

(Wipe to a bird pulling at what appears to be a blade of grass. Pull back to show it on top of the Mayor's head - the "grass" is a strand of his hair. This bird is the one that landed next to him after he was kicked out of his old office.)

Mayor: (to the tune of "The Old Gray Mare") The old gray Mayor, he ain't what he used to be, ain't what he used to be... (The girls fly into view.)

Blossom: Mayor! We found you! We need you back, Mayor. You need to run Townsville again!

Mayor: I'm all washed up, girls. (The bird pulls the hair loose and flies o.c.) Nobody wants me as Mayor anymore.

Buttercup: But we don't get to fight crime anymore!

Mayor: I don't care.

Bubbles: He's turned your office into a pigsty - literally!

Mayor: I don't care.

Blossom: He's tarnishing the image of what it is to be the Mayor!

Mayor: I don't care. (Cut to Ms. Bellum, also on the scene.)

Ms. Bellum: He's wearing your hat. (This gets his attention.)

(Cut to inside Fuzzy's office; the Mayor kicks the door open. The little man is hopping mad.)

Mayor: FUZZY!!

(He begins to cross the room; passing the items he mentions in sequence.)

Mayor: You can throw away my things, and I don't mind the hay on the floor, and the chicken wire's a nice touch, and I kinda like that beat-up old flivver. (stopping in front of Fuzzy) But no one, I mean no one, wears my mayorin' hat! Now give it back!

Fuzzy: I'll rassle you for it.

(Close-up of a bell being rung to start a fight. Pull back to show an arena full of cheering spectators, with a wrestling ring in the middle. Flashbulbs pop all around.)

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen!

(Close-up of a referee, microphone in hand. He is calling the fight.)

Announcer (Referee): (pointing left o.c.) In this corner, weighing in at ninety-five pounds, defending his title as Mayor and his hat: ex-Mayor, Mayor!

(Pan quickly in the direction he is pointing. The Mayor stands in that corner and waves timidly; he has stripped down to trunks and undershirt. The crowd cheers wildly. Back to the referee.)

Referee: (pointing right o.c.) And in this corner, weighing in at two hundred fifty pounds, the present Mayor: Fuzzy Lumkins!

(Pan to him in the opposite corner of the ring, dressed in his overalls and the top hat and ready for a scrap. The crowd boos him.)

Fuzzy: Don't forgets my kin...

(In time with the next line, three other creatures step into view. The first appears on his right and is tall and thin. The second, on his left, is very fat. Fuzzy lifts his leg to allow the third - very short, with pink fur on his head and white on his body - to come forward. The fat and skinny ones wear overalls like Fuzzy's.)

Fuzzy: ...Furry, Fluffy, and Hairy! (The crowd boos again.)

Mayor: Hey! That's not fair!

Fuzzy: If you rassles one Lumkin, you rassles 'em all!

Mayor: But it's four against one!

Fuzzy: Oh, all right, fine. Pick someone!

Mayor: Oh, well, okay. Then I pick...

(Cut to his perspective of the girls, panning across them to the Professor, and stop on him.)

Mayor: ...uh...Professor Utonium! (This choice surprises the whole family.)

Professor: What?

Blossom: What?

Buttercup: What?

Bubbles: What? (Back to the Mayor at the corner post.)

Mayor: (also surprised) What?

Professor: What's wrong with you?! Take my girls, please!

Mayor: No, no, no. Get up here, Professor, and show Fuzzy what for!

[Dialogue/animation goof: In this sequence, the girls are shown speaking in the following order: Buttercup, Bubbles, Blossom.]

(The Professor climbs nervously into the ring. No sooner does he stand upright than a huge pink fist slams into the side of his head for a knockout punch. He is reduced to a shaking wreck on the canvas; the Mayor watches uneasily as two paramedics carry him away on a stretcher. The Professor groans softly.)

Mayor: (sarcastically) Thanks a lot.

(The bell rings. Fuzzy picks the Mayor up, spins him in one hand, and throws him across the ring. He hits one of the ropes, which catapults him back to slam into Fuzzy's rear end. He tumbles to the canvas. A tag is exchanged, and Fluffy, the fat one, rolls back and forth across the Mayor to squash him flat. Another tag is made; now Furry, the thin one, peels the man off the mat and runs across the ring with him. The Mayor is rammed into the corner post face first and thrown down. Furry tags out, and Hairy, the short white one, jumps in and performs a suplex on the Mayor - pulling him up by his shoulders and turning him to slam down on his back.)

(Fuzzy and his three kinsmen each leap onto a corner post. The Mayor looks around, realizing what they are about to do, and begins to scream. The four leap from their perches toward the center of the ring. Cut to the girls, still at ringside.)

Blossom: Hey! That's not fair! (They dash in.)

(In midair, Buttercup plows into Furry, Bubbles rams Hairy, and Blossom charges Fluffy. These three are disposed of in short order. Overhead view of the Mayor, who has continued screaming through all of this. He finally stops and looks around; pan slowly across the ring and the three unconscious fighters, to the sound of wild cheering. Back to the Mayor, who flexes his muscles thinking he did it while screaming.)

Mayor: Oh! Well, I guess I don't know my own strength.

(The words are barely out of his mouth before Fuzzy lands on him. He pokes his head out from underneath the pink oaf as the referee slides in to start the count.)

Referee: One! (He pounds the mat.)

Fuzzy: Well... (laughing) ...I whomped your butt. Which means I'm still the Mayor. (laughing, holding up hat) And I get your hat!

(The Mayor's eye pops wide open; Fuzzy slowly lowers the hat toward his head. The referee raises his hand to deliver the second count, and the hat moves closer toward Fuzzy's antennae. Close-up of the Mayor, then of the referee's hand as it hits the mat.)

Referee: (from o.c., half speed, reverberating) Two!

(The hat continues its descent, and the referee's hand goes up for the third and final count that will end the match. Extreme close-up of the Mayor's monocle, then pull back; Fuzzy has now donned the hat. A low rumble begins to make itself heard, and a very worried look comes over Fuzzy's face as he begins to shake a bit. Suddenly he flies into the air and o.c.)

Mayor: FUZZY!!

(The referee stops his count and looks up, surprised. Back to the Mayor.)

Mayor: NOBODY WEARS MY HAT!!

(He tears off his shirt, revealing an impressively bulked-up physique. Fuzzy looks worriedly up at the hat and back to the camera, realizing he's screwed now that he's awoken the beast inside the Mayor.)

Mayor: (low, menacing voice) Let's get it on.

(''Before Fuzzy can do anything, the Mayor rushes up, grabs him, and slams him to the mat twice. He administers a pile driver, smashing him headfirst onto the canvas, then delivers several punches to the face of the dazed hick. Now the Mayor backhands him across the face, backs up across the ring, and uses the ropes to sling himself toward his opponent again. He pulls his fist back to deliver a flying punch; the blow spins Fuzzy around and deposits him face up on the mat. Now the Mayor stands atop the corner post, flashing bullhorns with both hands, as the crowd cheers. Camera turns around to show Fuzzy, still prone and dazed, before the little man jumps. Flashbulbs pop behind him as he sails through the air in slow motion; he lands squarely on Fuzzy's midsection. The impact is seen three times at normal speed, zooming in closer each time, after which the green-nosed head falls back in slow motion, hitting the mat with Fuzzy's eyes changing to Xs. He's out for the count. The referee leans into view.'')

Referee: (pounding mat in time) One, two, three! You're out!

(The crowd cheers once again as more flashbulbs explode all around the ring. Close-up of the Mayor, standing atop the unconscious Fuzzy with his arms raised in triumph. After a moment, his adversary raises his head as he comes to again.)

Fuzzy: (dazed) What happened?

Mayor: I'll take that. (He picks the hat from Fuzzy's head and sets it on his own.)

Referee: (from o.c.) The winner... (Cut to him at the mic.) ...and new Mayor, the ex-Mayor, Mayor!

(Pull back; the girls are in the ring as well, looking on, as yet more flashbulbs go off. Cut to a close-up of the home hotline, buzzing. Pull back as Blossom picks it up; her sisters float nearby.)

Blossom: Yes, Mayor. (Cut to him in his office, properly dressed and with phone in hand.)

Mayor: Emergency!

(A crash shakes the camera. The girls are in the office, having smashed in through the ceiling.)

Blossom: What is it, Mayor?

Mayor: Help me catch my pig!

(On the end of this, a pig runs across in front of him. The girls give chase, with him close behind.)

Narrator: (laughing) Oh, Mayor! You've always got my vote.

(The standard end shot comes up.)

Narrator: And so once again the day is saved - thanks to the Powerpuff Girls! (drawling) Y'all come back now, hear?