Giant Woman

[Open Ext. Crystal Temple]

(Amethyst and Pearl play checkers on the beach. Steven, perched on a life guard chair, pelts them with water balloons if they lose. Amethyst concentrates on her next move.)

Amethyst: *puts her piece forward* Ha, take that!

Pearl: Wow, Amethyst, I'm impressed. *gets pelted by a water balloon thrown by Steven*

Steven: Now it's your move, Pearl.

Pearl: Steven, are the water balloons really necessary?

Steven: Yeah, this way the moves really matter.

Pearl: But it's checkers! Every single move matters.

Amethyst: *twirls a strand of her wet hair around her finger* It sounds like someone's being a sore loser.

Pearl: *holding anger* I'm not a sore loser, *defeats Amethyst in one move* because I just won the game.

Amethyst: Whaaa—?!! *realizes that she'll get pelted by the water balloons* *happily* Here it comes! *holds arms out, Steven pelts her with all water balloons* *lies down on her back* Aaah!, feels good to lose.

Pearl: *stands up* Ahem, I certainly hope that's not the same attitude you have during battle.

Amethyst: Ugh, you're no fun anymore. *motions hands* This is why we never form Opal.

Pearl: *moves head closer to Amethyst's face* We don't form Opal because you're difficult and a mess.

Amethyst: *moves head closer to Pearl's face* We don't form Opal because you're uptight and—

Steven: *jumps in between them* *pushes their faces apart* Guys! Guys! What is Opal?

Amethyst: Oh it's the two of us, mashed together. *clasps hands*

Pearl: *scoffs* Is water just hydrogen and oxygen "mashed" together? (Amethyst and Steven look clueless.) ... Analogy wasted. Look here, Steven. *manipulates the sand to demonstrate* When we synchronize our forms we can combine into a powerful fusion gem named Opal.

Amethyst: *stomps sand* Except I don't dance like that.

Pearl: Amethyst?!

Steven: *to Amethyst* Wow, that's so cool! But tell me more about Opal!

Amethyst: Well, Steven, she's an ultra powerful, stone cold Betty— that part's me. And she's like, kinda tall— *whispers* that part's Pearl.

Pearl: What Amethyst is attempting to say is, Opal is an amalgam of our combined magical and physical attributes fused into a single entity.

Steven: Wow, can you do it right now? Come on, form Opal!

Amethyst: *scoffs*

Pearl: We only form Opal when it's absolutely necessary. *light emits from the house*

Steven: Garnet's back!

[Trans. Int. Beach House]

(Gems enter house to greet Garnet)

Steven: Ooh! Ooh! Did you bring me anything? (Garnet presents a rock.) Whoa, a rock! Thanks, Garnet.

Pearl: So, was your mission a success?

Garnet: I have located the Geode beetles of Heaven and Earth. We should split up to retrieve them.

Amethyst: Well I'm going with not Pearl. (Steven starts biting the rock.)

Pearl: Well that's perfect because I don't want to go with grammatically incorrect people anyway.

Steven: *while biting rock* Is her talking about me?

Garnet: You three go together, I go alone.

Pearl & Amethyst: *surprised* What? Why?

Garnet: The Earth Beetle's at the bottom of the boiling lava lake, and only I can swim in lava. *summons goggles* You'll find the Heaven Beetle at the top of the Sky Spire. It's safer.

Amethyst: You mean boring-er.

Pearl: You mean more boring.

Amethyst: So you agree with me.

Pearl: *looks at Amethyst annoyed* Ugh! Come on, you two, lets go. (Steven puts the rock down on the floor, Gems sans Garnet walk towards warp pad.)

Garnet: Steven, be sure to keep the harmony.

Steven: No problem. *gets on warp pad* Today's going to be all about HAR-MON— *warps*

[Trans. Ext. Sky Spire]

Steven: —NY... ! *falls* Oomph! Woah... is this where the Heaven Beetle lives?

Pearl: Apparently.

Amethyst: All the way at the top.

Steven: So, when you fuse, do you turn into a giant giant woman, or just a regular-sized giant woman? (Amethyst groans.) Does one of you control the right arm and the other control the left arm?

Pearl: Come on, Steven. (Pearl and Amethyst walk away.)

Steven: Wait, these are extremely important questions. *catches up*

Steven: *at the base of a long stairway* Phew, there sure are a lot of stairs, how about you form Opal and give me a piggy back ride?

Pearl & Amethyst: No.

Steven: What about if you eat a hotdog? Whose stomach does it go into? Or do you share the same stomach? *laughs* That would be gross.

(A rustling in a bush causes the gems to summon their weapons, a goat jumps out eating a thicket.)

Steven: *gasp* Look out! It's a magical goat guardian! Quick, you have to form Opal! It's the only way to defeat it! *pretends to cower* Hurry before it kills us all! *peeks up at them*

Pearl: *walks up to goat* Ugh, Steven, we only fuse for deadly situations, does this look like a deadly situation? *points at goat, goat bites her hand* Ow! Hey, bad mountain goat! *goat bleats, and Amethyst laughs so hard she falls over*

Steven: Darn it. Aw, I'm never going to get to see Opal.

(''Steven sings Giant Woman.)

(Pearl and Amethyst antagonize each other. They reach a broken pass leading to the Heaven Beetle's temple with several broken pieces of floating land connecting them, the goat jumps the pieces to the temple.)

Steven: Wait up Steven Jr.! *tries to jump*

Pearl: *stops him* Wait, Steven! I'm not sure you can make those jumps.

Steven: Oh, you should fuse into Opal, and then lay across the rocks like a bridge!

Pearl: We don't need Opal to get across.

Steven: *begs* Can you do it anyway? Pleeease? It would be easier, wouldn't it?

Amethyst: Not as easy as this! *picks Steven up, throws him on a floating platform and then jumps to him*

Steven: Oh wow, Amethyst, that was a really good idea.

Amethyst: Hah, I know, I'm full of 'em. (Pearl reacts worriedly.)

Steven: Ah, come on Pearl, it's safe. Just look.

(Steven jumps around on the floating rock, Amethyst joins him, jumping him off and he falls, Pearl quickly jumps after him with Amethyst's whip wrapped around her and grabs Steven, Amethyst pulls them both up.)

Steven: That was so great how you worked together. Why don't you do that all the time? *both look away stubbornly*

[Trans. Int. Sky Spire]

(The Gems arrive atop the spire.)

Steven: *panting* I can't feel my legs anymore. *looks up* Hey, look at that! *runs over to smaller temple* It's a tiny temple!

Pearl: It's just where Garnet said it would be. The Heaven Beetle should be inside.

Steven: *peers inside small temple, laughs* Check it out, it's even got a little beetle bedroom, and little beetle bongos, and a little beetle baby book.

Pearl: *peers* But where's the beetle? It's supposed to be here, the heaven beetle wouldn't leave, would it? Oh, it could be anywhere!

Amethyst: *chuckles* Maybe you should freak out some more, that's really gonna help us find it.

Pearl: *angered* I can't believe your attitude, Amethyst. And now you're just slouching over here doing nothing.

Amethyst: Hey, it's not my fault the beetle isn't there. Why do you have to make things worse by squawking at me?! (Steven Jr. begins to bleat.)

Pearl: I don't squawk!

Amethyst: Yeah, you're squawking at me and commenting on my posture!

Pearl: THIS is squawking! SQUAWK, SQUAWK!

Steven: *runs over* Hey, cut it out! You're scaring Steven Jr.!

(Just then a giant bird creature emerges from under the small lake the tiny temple resided upon and eats Steven Jr. whole.)

Steven: *gasp* My son...

(Pearl summons her spear and throws it at the monster, which it swallows, forcing the Gems to retreat into a small room in the spire.)

Amethyst: In here, guys!

Pearl: It swallowed my spear!

Steven: Guys this is great! Now's the perfect time for you two to form Opal! (The bird begins to peck at the roof of the room.)

(Pearl and Amethyst attempt the fusion dance but fail.)

Amethyst: So you wanna try that again? With less hitting me in the face this time?

Pearl: Well, it would have worked if your movements weren't so erratic and formless.

Amethyst: So it's all my fault? Ho ho, you totally weren't even trying to sync with my dancing. You should know how I dance by now! (Pearl pushes Amethyst.)

Steven: *stops both* Stop! Come on, guys, please stop fighting. If you can't get along with each other, I might never get to see your awesome fusion powers. (The bird squawks.) And I might get eaten by a giant bird!

(Just then, the giant bird breaks through the roof and swallows Steven whole.)

Pearl & Amethyst: Steven!

[Trans. Int. Giant Bird]

(Steven is swallowed, the inside of the bird is littered with junk and the dead, Steven finds Steven Jr. eating the Heaven Beetle on pile of junk.)

Steven: Steven Jr.! How can you eat at a time like this? Hey, is that the Heaven Beetle? Let me see it. *grabs beetle but goat refuses to let go* Hey, be a good goat and give me the magic bug! (A rumbling causes piles to break and both fall.) I got it! (Steven Jr. attempts to eat it.) No! B-bad goat! You're no son of mine! (Several giant arms penetrate the bird.) What's going on? (An arm grabs the goat.) Steven Jr.! *gets grabbed and pulled out*

[Trans. Sky Spire]

(Opal grabs Steven and Steven Jr. from the bird, destroying the bird's main form. Opal lands on the water while holding Steven and Steven Jr., which she puts him down.)

Steven: Opal?

(Opal looks on while blinking as the bird's form into the smaller versions, attacking Opal and Steven. Opal slides down the spire and jumps across the platforms landing safely on the main spire and puts Steven down.)

Opal: Stay low.

(Opal summons both a whip and spear and combines them into a large bow, drawing back an energy arrow which hits the flock and destroys all of them, poofing them. Opal turns back to Steven and offers her hand.)

Steven: *nervous* Uh... do you... know who I am?

Opal: *chuckles, sings* All you wanna do, is see me turn into—

Steven: *gasps* A giant woman!

[Trans. Int. Beach House]

(Opal and Steven return on the warp pad, Garnet has already returned and is drying her hair.)

Steven: We're back!

Garnet: The Heaven Beetle.

Opal: *gasp* I don't have it. (Opal transforms back into Amethyst and Pearl.)

Pearl: Amethyst, you got distracted!

Amethyst: Hey, you were the one getting carried away with all those fancy backflips!

Steven: Wait a sec! *takes out Heaven Beetle* I've got the beetle!

Garnet: Good job, Steven. *takes beetle, places it in a cage with the Earth Beetle, and bubbles it* I also see you helped your teammates fuse.

(Amethyst and Pearl stare in surprise at each other.)

Steven: And all I had to do was get eaten by a bird.

Garnet: Nice work, you'll be great at fusing one day.

Steven: Yeah... Wait! I can do that too?!

[END]