Snooty


 * [Gantu and 625 are watching a competition on TV]
 * Gantu: Do you think Jenny will make it to the final two?
 * 625: Who cares? This show is lame! Everyone's such a sap!
 * Gantu: What about Jack? He's just pretending to be a sap to increase his chance of winning!
 * 625: Oh... is that why you act like a sap? 'Cause it's not working. You're still a loser.
 * Gantu: Quiet! I'm trying to--
 * Computer: Warning, Experiment 277 activated. [Gantu groans in frustration] Primary function: mine and enrich Snootonium.
 * Gantu: Snootonium? There's no Snootonium on Earth. This experiment is useless. [Hämsterviel's contact interrupts the show] Hey, the TV!
 * Hämsterviel: TV, schmeevee! Get up off your enormously useless behind and go capture that experiment or I will cancel all your useless entertainment service!
 * Gantu: [sighs] Yes, sir. I suppose I'll miss the big season finale.
 * 625: Want me to record for ya?
 * Gantu: You wouldn't mind?
 * 625: Hey, what are friends for? Trust me.


 * [Victoria is afraid of Experiment 277, believing it's a vampire; Gantu appear]
 * Lilo: No wonder the vampire exterminator didn't work on him. He's an experiment.
 * Gantu: Give me the abomination right now!
 * Victoria: Take it, please! I'd knew you'd fix the problem.
 * Lilo: Victoria, you don't understand.
 * Gantu: Come to Papa. [reaches to grab Snooty until Stitch bites his finger]
 * Victoria: What's Stitch doing? That big guy's gonna take the vampire for us.
 * Lilo: That little guy isn't a vampire. He's an illegal genetic experiment from another planet, like Stitch.
 * Victoria: Stitch is an alien?!
 * Lilo: Yeah, sorry. I should have told you.


 * [Gantu to his ship returns after failing to catch Snooty]
 * 625: Catch anything? No, of course you didn't.
 * Gantu: Please, not now, I sustained an injury.
 * 625: Know how I know you didn't catch anything? BECAUSE BIG H CUT THE CABLE!! THAT'S HOW!!!
 * Gantu: He cut the cable? But what about--
 * 625: Your show? Sorry, didn't get it.
 * Gantu: But-but what happened to Jack and Jenny? What will we do without television?!
 * 625: Well, Hämsterviel did let us keep one channel. [turns on the TV]
 * Gantu: No, no...
 * Announcer: Coming up on The Sandwich Channel: The Mysteries of Mayonnaise.
 * Gantu: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


 * [while Lilo finds out that Snooty sucks mucus from people, Victoria teams up with Gantu to capture Snooty; Pleakley drives Lilo and a drowsy Stitch to Snooty's mountain lair really slowly]
 * Lilo: Can't you go any faster?
 * Pleakley: These are steep mountain roads. Safety first driving techniques demand that I take control of the vehicle at all times.
 * Lilo: This thing flies, you know.
 * Pleakley: [gasps] Flying?! Through these jagged canyons?!
 * [Stitch pulls a lever, causing the buggy to fly off the road]
 * Pleakley: Flying?! Flying?! Can't keep the eye on the road when I'm flying!
 * Stitch: Aga blahblah!


 * [Victoria learns that Gantu was using her as bait to lure Snooty to him; she stops Gantu and sets Snooty free]
 * Lilo: You saved him!
 * Victoria: You were right, Lilo. He's not a monster at all. I should have trusted you.
 * Lilo: You were kinda right, too. Snooty actually is a vampire. You know, a snot vampire.
 * Victoria: No wonder he kept chasing me! My allergies! [Snooty leaps up to Victoria's face and sucks the mucus out through her nose] I can breathe!
 * Lilo: I think he likes you.
 * Victoria: Maybe he could come live with me.
 * Lilo: Really?
 * Victoria: He could keep my sinuses clear!
 * Pleakley: [starts the engine of the buggy] Ah-ha! Finally! [drives the buggy in reverse and crashes into Gantu's jet] I hope he had insurance.


 * [625 is channel-surfing as Gantu returns]
 * Gantu: No, I didn't capture the experiment.
 * 625: Oh, hey, Gantu! Hi! You're home early, aren't ya?
 * Gantu: 625, that's not the sandwich channel. When did we get the cable back?
 * 625: Ah, y'know, just now. Right this second! Amazing coinkeydink, huh?
 * Gantu: It was never out! You just said that so you could have it all to yourself!
 * 625: I always said you were a semi-intelligent species.
 * Gantu: To think I trusted you.
 * 625: Eh, you live, you learn.