WWe Bought a ZOO / 2 Broke Powerpuff Girls

(The scene begins.)

Benjamin Mee: There it is, kids. Our new home. It has everything we need to start over! Wide-open spaces, fresh air, (Animal noises.) and wild animals.

Mr. Stevens: You do realize you're buying a ZOO, right?

Benjamin Mee: No one else seems to want it!

Mr. Stevens: Actually, that's not true, but since you seem normal, we're going with you! (Hands the deed to Benjamin.)

Benjamin Mee: YAY! Look, gang! We bought a zoo!

(BAM! John Cena hits Benjamin Mee with a folding chair.)

John Cena: Correction: WE bought a zoo!

(Title card: WWe Bought a ZOO)

Benjamin Mee: You can't just take over! I'm the deed holder! (Shows his deed.)

John Cena: (Takes the deed.) ZOINK! Now I'm the deed holder!

Benjamin Mee: Yeah, that's not how land ownership works.

Rey Mysterio: No, but this is how a bodyslam works! (Bodyslams Benjamin.)

(Triple H and John Cena laugh.)

Benjamin Mee: Why do you even want a zoo?

Triple H: Well, they bought all the wrestling leagues, so the next logical step was the zoo!

Benjamin Mee: I don't follow.

Rey Mysterio: Oh, can you follow this? '''Bodyslam! '''(Bodyslams Benjamin again.)

(Scene goes to Triple H and an injured Benjamin Mee walking in the zoo.)

Triple H: See, the reason this zoo went out of business was because it's boring. We're gonna fix this place up and make it exciting!

Benjamin Mee: EXACTLY! Now I was thinking a gift shop would spice things up.

Triple H: Really? I was thinking we teach the animals how to WRESTLE!

Rey Mysterio: You need a "persona"! Without a mask, people will realize you don't have a personality. See? (Points to his mask.) Personality. (Points to a raccoon.) Personality. (Points to Benjamin Mee.) No personality. (Animal noise. Scene cuts to John Cena rapping with a lion.)

John Cena: If you want people to like you, you need to learn how to rap! You think you're a lion? Well, you are just a rat! OH! I rhyme "rap" with "rat"!

(They get into a fight, showing a sign saying "WARNING: Do not battle rap with the lion". Scene cuts to Triple H, Benjamin Mee, and a rhino dressed as a wrestler.)

Triple H: Okay, it's good, but it's not great.

Benjamin Mee: How about balloons?

Triple H: Did you say "drama"? (Scene zooms in on him.) That's perfect! People love drama!

Benjamin Mee: I don't think you understand.

(Rey Mysterio pops out of the bushes.)

Rey Mysterio: Did you say you want a bodyslam?

Benjamin Mee: (Pulls out a pitchfork.) NO, I DON'T! I don't want a bodyslam!

Rey Mysterio: Oh, I never realized that bothered you! I'll stop. Use your words, man. Use your words.

(John Cena and Kelly Kelly are seen with a zebra. John Cena is wearing a white t-shirt and holding a porcupine.)

John Cena: All right, porcupine! The key to wrestling is talking smack! Now insult that zebra's stupid stripes!

(The porcupine mumbles.)

Kelly Kelly: Aw, come on, stripey horse! Don't let that sharp, pointy cat talk to you like that?

John Cena: You wanna talk smack, Kelly, please! You think you can rap? Well, my shirt's full of bees! (Chuckles, the screen zooms out to reveal bees flying all over his shirt.) '''Oh, no! My shirt IS full of bees! '''OW! They're sting me! Now they're colonizing! Wait, oh! I think they're making honey! (A bear walks up to John.) OH, NO! Now the bear smells the honey! (The bear attacks him.)

Triple H: See, Drama.

Benjamin Mee: Is he gonna be okay?

Triple H: Wrestling is all fake man, you know that.

John Cena (weakly): I don't think the bear knows that. (Gets attacked by the bear again.) NO!

Narrator: Girls... Utonium... cartoon pandemonium. These were the ingredients for the perfect cartoon. And the head honchos added an extra ingredient to the concoction: permanent hiatus. (BOOM!) Now, Bubbles and Buttercup are completely broke, and working at a diner. They are... 2 BROKE POWERPUFF GIRLS! Blossom's doing great by the way.

(Title card: 2 Broke Powerpuff Girls)

Buttercup: Ugh, I hate being a waitress!

Bubbles: Because of the hours?

Buttercup: Because I have no fingers! Why do we take these jobs?

("Him" appears.)

"Him": (effeminate voice) Because you squandered all your money! (demonic voice) And now you work for "Him!"

(Scene zooms to some old guy.)

"Him": (effeminate voice) No, not him "Him," me "Him!" Ugh, this never gets easy.

("Him" disapears.)

Customer: Hey, uh, small flying child! Get me a burger, medium-medium rare.

(Buttercup prepares the burger and hands it to the customer.)

Customer: I said medium-medium rare! This is medium-medium-medium-rare!

(Buttercup gets angry.)

Bubbles: Buttercup, let it go.

Buttercup: You're right, I'll let it go... into space!! (Buttercup punches the customer into space.) Don't come back without a tip!

("Him" appears.)

"Him": (demonic voice) '''You're fired! '''(effeminate voice) Thank you, come again! ("Him" bites into the burger and disapears.)

(scene cuts to apartment)

Buttercup: Now we're broke and jobless!

Bubbles: We could always go out of Blossom, she's made a fortune as a motivational speaker.

(Scene cuts to theater.)

Blossom: And what's the key to success?

Crowd: Never stop blossoming.

Blossom: Never stop blossoming, very good people!

(scene cuts back to apartment)

Buttercup: We told Blossom we could do this on our own and we're not going back to her!

Bubbles: Don't worry, I have a plan. And all it needs is a big cup of sugar.

(scene cuts to Time Square. Man drops coin in a cup.)

Bubbles: A quarter! Hurray!

Buttercup: How much is rent?

(Bubbles pulls out a calculator and starts doing math.)

Bubbles: 5,200 quarters.

(Bubbles and Buttercup start weeping.)

(The two girls get kicked out.)

Mojo Jojo: You have not paid your rent, therefore you will be evicted! Eviction costs are at the price you'll pay when your rent is not paid to me, Mojo Jojo, your landlord, who invested much money wisely and bought real estate with a loaner chief with a 30-year rate streak of 4.2! (Slams door.)

Buttercup: GREAT! We're broke, jobless, AND living under a billboard for Whitney!

Bubbles: Well, it can't get any worse!

(The "Whitney: Half of all Sitcoms end in Cancellation," billboard gets replaced with a billboard that says "Blossom into Blossom: On Sale Now!")

Buttercup: Fine. (Gets dragged by Bubbles.)

Blossom: Pfft! Just another puff piece. Well, look who came crawling back!!

Buttercup: I was dragged.

Bubbles: We need money!

Blossom: Have you tried working?

Buttercup: These pupils aren't drawn big for effects, sister! It's from the lack of sleep!

Blossom: Very well, just admit it that I was right and you need me.

Buttercup: Fine, you were right. Can we have money now?!

Blossom: I'll do you one better: I'll give you a job at my master Blossom empire. I've got a record label, a TV show, a petting zoo, and... (Scene cuts back to the diner.) ...a diner. So, good luck, girls! (Blossom heads back to the industry.)

Buttercup: Great, we're back where we started...

Bubbles: Yay! Now we're just broke again! 2 Broke Powerpuff Girls!

(The customer lands.)

Buttercup: I said not to come back without a tip!

Customer: Uh, here you go.

(Segment ends.)