The Locomotive Manipulation


 * (The dining car scene of Amy having a bit of a game with Howard and Bernadette)
 * Amy: See if you guys can guess this one. Bang! Splat! Thud!


 * (The scene of Howard in the dining car saying a joke to Bernadette)
 * Howard: Fun fact, I'm gonna jump off this train.


 * Penny: Happy Valentine’s Day.
 * Leonard: Flowers and chocolates? You trying to get me out of my panties?
 * Penny: Don’t be surprised if you find five chocolates missing and three gross coconut ones with a bite taken out. Came that way when I bought it.
 * Leonard: I got you a little something too.
 * Penny: Oh my. Jewelry. Oh, my God. Lakers’ tickets!
 * Leonard: It gets better. Instead of me, you can take someone who will actually enjoy it.
 * Penny: Aww! You are the best boyfriend ever!
 * Leonard: Thank you, seriously, please don't make me go.


 * (The dining car scene where Amy tells Sheldon off for ignoring her after Eric has left).
 * Sheldon: What is your problem?
 * Amy: It’s Valentine’s Day! We’re supposed to be having a romantic weekend.
 * Sheldon: Oh really? Because I remember you saying that trip was going to be something we could both enjoy. Did you really mean that, or were you just trying to trick me?
 * Amy: Fine, it’s true. I deserve romance and...I didn't know how else to make it happen.
 * Sheldon: Well, if you want romance, let’s have romance. Oh, look, there’s wine. (take Amy's wine glass and drink) Grape juice that burns. Um, now let’s gaze into each other’s eyes. (looks at Amy's eyes in a childish way) You blinked, I win.
 * Amy: Sheldon.
 * Sheldon: What’s next? Oh, kissing’s romantic.
 * (Sheldon kisses Amy for 12 seconds, first time ever in the whole series. Amy seems to enjoy it).
 * Amy: That was nice.
 * Sheldon: Good. Um. The Conductor said if I come back to the engine room, he’d show me how to bring the train through a crossing.
 * Amy: O.K, have fun.
 * Sheldon: Do you want to come with me?
 * Amy: Really? I do.


 * Amy: Item 28 your pet name for me. Time’s running out on this. You need to make decision.
 * Sheldon: I submitted you a notarized list.
 * Amy: I sorry, but Gollum and Flaky are not acceptable.
 * Sheldon: Well, you don’t like Princess Corncob. You don’t like Fester. You’re just impossible to please.


 * Amy: I propose we spend a weekend at a bed-and-breakfast in Napa Valley.
 * Sheldon: I hate every word in that sentence. Including in, at, we and a.
 * Amy: Come on, Sheldon. Why not?
 * Sheldon: For starters, a bed-and-breakfast forces you to eat with strangers at your table.
 * Amy: One step ahead of you, Bernadette and Wolowitz are going with us.
 * Sheldon: Oh, very well. What are the sleeping arrangements? We’ve only been dating for three years. If we were to share a room, people might talk.


 * (The scene at the gang's apartment dinner where Bernadette pours herself some wine furiously)
 * Bernadette: You sure you guys don’t want to come with us to Napa. You can probably still get a room.
 * Penny: No. I think we’ll just have a quiet weekend at home.
 * Leonard: Of course I’m not sure it’s a great idea to take Penny where wine comes from.
 * (Penny looks so disgusted by Leonard's comment)
 * Leonard: What? It’s a joke. Oh, come on. We bust on each other. I wear dorky glasses and you might have a problem. It’s all for laughs.
 * Penny: That would really piss me off if I didn't have a buzz going on.


 * Raj: Since you two are gonna be around for Valentine’s, would you mind watching Cinnamon?
 * Penny: You have Valentine’s plans? Which came out sounding way more surprised than I meant. Here, let me try that again. You have Valent… See? I can’t do it.
 * Raj: I don’t have plans which is why I booked time on the big telescope that night.
 * Amy: Well, an evening looking at the stars, that’s still kind of romantic.
 * Raj: Except I’ll be alone.
 * Amy: I’m trying to put lipstick on a pig here. Work with me.
 * Leonard: We’d be happy to watch Cinnamon.
 * Penny: Yeah.


 * (The scene at the gang's apartment dinner after Raj has thanked Penny and Leonard for watching Cinnamon)
 * Raj: Oh and I’d like for at least one of us to see some action so if you guys happen to have sex is it cool if she stays in the room?
 * Penny: The same goes with the two of you with Amy.
 * (Bernadette and Howard are rather cross by Penny's idea, Amy happily sips her wine and Sheldon just gazes around the room)


 * (The scene of the 'Howardette' couple and 'Shamy' duo entering the dinging car)
 * Amy: What do you think, Sheldon?
 * Sheldon: It’s magnificent. This is going to be the best Valentine’s Day ever.
 * Amy: I’m so glad you like it.
 * Sheldon: I’m prepared to say I love it, as soon as I confirm there are no hobos aboard.


 * Penny: Should we take this little party to the bedroom?
 * Leonard: We don’t have to. We have the whole place to ourselves.
 * Penny: Oh that’s true.
 * Leonard: In fact, if you want we can do it right here on Sheldon’s spot.
 * Penny: That is the least sexy thing anyone’s ever said to me.
 * Leonard: To the bedroom!


 * (The dining car scene where Amy complains to Howard and Bernadette for a second after listening to Eric and Sheldon's conversation about trains and stuff)
 * Amy: Why do I even try?
 * Bernadette: (she speaks to Howard crossly) I’m going to fix this right now.
 * Howard: OK. Just make it look like an accident
 * (Bernadette storms up to Sheldon's and Eric's table)
 * Bernadette: (she is so very cross with Sheldon) Excuse me. You're at a Valentine’s dinner with your girlfriend. Now get back over there and be with her.
 * Sheldon: (feels guilty) You’re right. That was insensitive of me. I have to go back to my table now. You should join us.
 * Eric: All right.
 * (Both Eric and Sheldon make for Amy and Howard's table)
 * Bernadette: (she is still very cross) Great. (sighs angrily) Now there’s two of them.
 * (She angrily walks out of view and the scene fades to black).


 * (The scene at the ward of the vet surgery where a female vet is rubbing Cinnamon's fur)
 * Vet: (asking Penny) How much chocolate did she eat?
 * Penny: (telling the vet sadly) A whole box.
 * Leonard: Well, to be fair, you ate a lot of it before you gave it to me.
 * Penny: So the point is I may have saved her life.
 * Vet: I’m sorry, is this a joke to you?
 * Leonard: No. Maybe to her.
 * (Penny sadly shakes her head)
 * Vet: How big a box of chocolate was it?
 * Penny: Uh, something like this. I don’t know. It came free with a full tank of gas.
 * Leonard: Really? Do you know how much those Lakers tickets were?
 * Penny: Do you know how much gas is?
 * Vet: Hey.
 * Penny: Sorry.
 * Leonard: Sorry.
 * (The ward door bursts open by a completely furious Raj who runs up to the sick Cinnamon)
 * Raj: (he worries about Cinnamon) Oh, my God, Cinnamon, are you okay? (he angrily shouts at Penny and Leonard) I can’t believe you two. (he angrily shouts so loudly to the vet) You do whatever it takes to save her life. If she needs new organs, I’ll buy any dog necessary and scrap them for parts.
 * Vet: You’re the owner?
 * Raj: Owner, father, soul mate, and if anything happens to her, your worst nightmare.
 * Vet: Well, she’s not throwing up, which is a good sign. So, I’m gonna take her in back, put her on fluids and give her something to absorb the toxins.
 * Raj: Okay. Okay, thank you. Oh, if she’s scared, you can sing to her. She likes Katy Perry. Oh, but don’t do "Firework", that gets her all riled up.
 * Vet: Got it. (grumbles to herself in the corridor) Should have been a dentist.


 * Leonard: Hey, Cinnamon, guess who just did it human style.
 * Penny: Oh, my God.
 * Leonard: It’s a little late, but I’ll take it.
 * Penny: No, Cinnamon ate the chocolates. That’s really bad for dogs.
 * Leonard: Oh, crap. What are we gonna do?
 * Penny: We gotta get her to a vet right now.
 * Leonard: I don’t have a vet. I have a podiatrist, an optometrist, an allergist, a dermatologist, a urologist. You’d think I’d have a vet.
 * Penny: Okay. There’s one not far from here. Come on. Let’s go.
 * Leonard: Okay. Koothrappali was right. We should have let her watch.


 * Leonard: (on phone) Okay. Raj, I got it. Bye. (To Cinnamon) That was your daddy. He wanted me to say that he misses… Why am I doing this?


 * Howard: A world I don’t want to live in. Seriously, I no longer want to live in this world.


 * Sheldon: I never want this day to end.
 * Amy: I'm feeling like it never will.
 * Sheldon: Come on.


 * (The dining car where Amy has seen Sheldon gone off into thin air. She now turns to Howard and Bernadette)
 * Howard: (extremely concerned) You okay?
 * Amy: Why? Because my boyfriend’s off playing choo-choo with some weirdo?
 * Howard: Well, to be fair, they’re both weirdos.
 * Amy: I don’t know what made me think tonight would be any different.
 * Bernadette: Well, just the fact that you got him up here still says a lot. To be honest, I bet Howie 200 bucks it wasn’t gonna happen.
 * Howard: I’m going to the Lego store to get a big-ass R2-D2.
 * Bernadette: See? It’s not just Sheldon. They’re all idiots.
 * (Amy pulls a frown at Bernadette's remark)
 * Howard: She’s right.
 * Bernadette: So, your boyfriend’s a fixer-upper. Most of them are. I mean, look at this guy. You think he came like this? When I met him, he was a hot, goofy mess. Now, he’s been to space. That’s all me.
 * Howard: I had a little to do with it.
 * Bernadette: Oh, sure you did. (imitates smooching to Howard) Who’s Mama’s big space man?
 * Howard: (giggles) I am.
 * (Bernadette continues smooching Howard and smiles crossly about Sheldon's behavior).


 * (The dining car scene of Howard and Bernadette doing their last few kisses. They both stop kissing and speak to each other)
 * Howard: I love you so much.
 * Bernadette: I love you, too.
 * Howard: Sorry.
 * Bernadette: Sorry.
 * (Sheldon and Eric are now returning to Amy and Howardette's table)
 * Eric: You guys missed a pretty great time.
 * Sheldon: The conductor and I have the same pocket watch.
 * (Amy, Howard and Bernadette are so not happy by the pocket watch Sheldon has showed them)
 * Eric: It was crazy.
 * Sheldon: Dare I say loco? Oh, and, Amy, guess what? The conductor said as soon as he gets off work, he can come back to the bed and breakfast and play his banjo for us.
 * Amy: Okay. I need to speak to my boyfriend in private, like, right now.
 * Howard: There’s a car with a glass roof. Want to go look at the stars?
 * Bernadette: Oh, that sounds so romantic.
 * Amy: (yells to them with loud anger) Oh, give it a rest.
 * Bernadette: (shiftily) Let’s go.
 * (Both Howard and Bernadette exit the table)
 * Amy: (she is furious with Eric) Why are you still here?
 * Sheldon: Excuse me. (referring to Eric) I think you’re being a little rude.
 * Amy: (now fully furious with Sheldon) I’m being rude? You’ve been rude to me this entire evening.
 * Sheldon: How is that possible? I’ve hardly spoken to you since we got on the train.
 * Eric: I’m detecting a little friction between you two, and I don’t want to be a third rail. Get it?
 * Sheldon: I get it.
 * Amy: (yells at Eric angrily) Leave.
 * (Eric now exits)