The Hankering


 * [The episode begins at the Krusty Krab.]
 * Tina Fran: Oh, these are delicious.
 * [Suddenly, a loud roar is heard and it shook the whole restaurant.]
 * Jennifer Millie: What was that?
 * Nathiel Waters: Think it came from Krabs' office. Maybe he's in trouble.
 * SpongeBob: [comes out of the kitchen] I'll save you, Mr. Krabs! [attempts to enter Mr. Krabs' office, but Mr. Krabs slams the door in SpongeBob's face; Mr. Krabs moans and groans as his stomach growls] Ooh, Mr. Krabs, thank Neptune you're okay. [Mr. Krabs' stomach growls really loud] Eww, what was that noise?
 * Mr. Krabs: Huh? [turns his body around] Uh, I didn't hear nothing. Everything's completely normal. Okay, closing time! Everyone out! [pulls down a rope and makes the floor push SpongeBob, Squidward and the customers out; then he frantically locks the door as everyone looks at Mr. Krabs suspiciously] Eh..o-okay... [laughs nervously] See you tomorrow.
 * SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, Squidward and I don't want to leave work early. Right, Squidward?
 * [Squidward happily runs away from the Krusty Krab.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, I could still— [Mr. Krabs and everyone else is gone, leaving with only a nickel] A nickel? [licks the nickel] And it's the same temperature as Mr. Krabs. [picks up the nickel] Ooh, he's gonna want this back. [runs off]
 * [Mr. Krabs runs all over the streets of Bikini Bottom in a frantic panic. He hides behind the building and sees a taxi pulling over for a customer. He rolls over to the taxi and hides underneath it before it drives away. SpongeBob appears and fails to stop Mr. Krabs. He waves for another taxi.]
 * SpongeBob: Follow that boat! [crawls under the taxi before it drives away]
 * [The driver stops the taxi boat at a place that's located outside of Bikini Bottom, the Slop Pail. SpongeBob comes out from under the taxi and is completely beaten up.]
 * Taxi driver: Sorry about all those speed bumps, kid. And the cactus patch and the demolition derby.
 * SpongeBob: [dizzily] "Roast moblem, Orfficer." [pays the taxi driver and faints]
 * [Mr. Krabs is sitting at a picnic table, waiting impatiently for something. He checks his watch and frantically looks around. SpongeBob appears through the wood of the picnic table.]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
 * Mr. Krabs: [shrieks as SpongeBob's appearance startles him] SpongeBob, what are you doing here, boy-o?
 * SpongeBob: [pulls himself out of the table] I brought your nickel, silly. [pauses and looks around] What is this place? And what are you doing here?
 * Mr. Krabs: Nothing, [takes the nickel] I've never been here before in my life.
 * [Just then, a man, who is the chef of the Slop Pail, appears and gives Mr. Krabs a bowl full of chum.]
 * Sal: Eugene, got your usual here: one big steaming plate of chum! Enjoy.
 * [The chum belches slime in SpongeBob's face.]
 * SpongeBob: "Usual?" "Chum?" "Enjoy?" Oh, I don't understand, Mr. Krabs.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, I suppose there's no hiding it, boy-o. It all started back in me old Navy days. [a flashback of Mr. Krabs' Navy days is shown] I was a young seaman on a dangerous mission deep in enemy territory.
 * [The flashback shows all of Mr. Krabs' Navy friends having a fun time at the beach. Mr. Krabs is sleeping in a hammock.]
 * Navy chef: [rings his triangle] Meal time.
 * [Mr. Krabs Navy friends run over the chef and climb onto the ship to eat their meals. Mr. Krabs continues to sleep in his hammock.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [voiceover] Somehow, in the madness of battle, I became separated from me crew. [his past self yawns and wakes up from his nap; he goes into the ship and sees everyone sleeping after eating too much] It took hours of fighting and sneaking and scraping to get back to me ship, but by the time I got there, our supplies have been decimated. [his past self sits in a chair and the chef feeds him chum] All we had left was chum...and I hadn't eaten since noon. [his past self starts to eat chum] I was starting to feel peckish. [his past self starts to take a liking to chum] But, oh, that flavor. Sweet and gamy with a cream, chunky mouthfeel. [a chum monkey appears as his past self continuously eats chum] Oh, I've had a chum monkey on my back ever since. [his chum monkey screeches before coming back to the present day] Been eating the stuff in secret for years now. [eats some of Sal's chum] Just got a taste for it. One of them survival things, I suppose. [a piece of Sal's chum gurgles for a bit before Mr. Krabs slurps it in his mouth] Oh, uh, look, SpongeBob, I don't want this getting out, you understand? [laughs] Especially to Plankton. So what do you say, huh? Keep me shame a secret, huh? For old Mr. Krabsy?
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] You got it, Mr. Krabs. My lips are sealed. [zips his mouth]
 * Mr. Krabs: Glad to hear it. Okay, see you tomorrow. [pushes SpongeBob away] Sal, I'm feeling hungry tonight. How's about another plate of chum?
 * Sal: Oh, sorry, Eugene, but that was my last plate of chum, ever! I'm closing the Slop Pail forever. [closes his restaurant]
 * Mr. Krabs: [gasps] What?! [gulps]
 * Sal: Yup, I'm moving to Shell City to make it big in the pictures. Just imagine this mug on a movie screen 30 feet wide! [a closeup of his face is shown while laughing] I'll see you in the movies! [drives away]
 * Mr. Krabs: But where will I get me chum from?
 * [Mr. Krabs is now stranded in the middle of nowhere alone. The scene changes back to the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs is pacing back and forth about where he'll get more chum.]
 * SpongeBob: Gosh, Mr. Krabs, I've never tried to make chum before. I don't even know what the ingredients are.
 * Mr. Krabs: Ugh, well, uh, it's, uh—it's made from... [whispers in SpongeBob's ear about what the actual ingredients of chum are and from what SpongeBob hears, it is really disgusting]
 * SpongeBob: [gags and groans in disgust] Eww. [as Mr. Krabs is done talking, SpongeBob turns pale and his yellow color melts off; he mops up his color and washes himself with it] Um, I don't think I can make that for you, Mr. Krabs, but I can make you some chum-free chum. You won't even be able to tell the difference.
 * Mr. Krabs: I sure hope you're right.
 * French narrator: Later…
 * [The scene changes to SpongeBob serving three kinds of chum for Mr. Krabs to enjoy.]
 * SpongeBob: Behold: three takes on chum à la SpongeBob. [Mr. Krabs gives a taste on the first plate of chum] The secret ingredient in this one? Krabby Patties. Well? Huh?
 * Mr. Krabs: It's delicious! [suddenly gets angry] Too delicious! [swats the first plate of chum away] Next!
 * SpongeBob: [gives Mr. Krabs another plate full of chum and Mr. Krabs gives another taste] To capture the natural bouquet of the chum, I made this batch entirely from old snail litter.
 * Mr. Krabs: [gasps, spits out some snail litter and his face shrivels] A little dry. [shakes his head back to normal] Next! [swats the second plate of chum away]
 * SpongeBob: [gives Mr. Krabs another plate full of chum] Ooh, I think you'll like this one. [Mr. Krabs gives it a taste] I know you do. [giggles] It's made from wishes and love.
 * [Mr. Krabs belches out hearts and sparkles. His face turns into SpongeBob's face and laughs like SpongeBob.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [rubs his face back to normal] It's too sweet. Oh, none of these are right, SpongeBob. I think this old chum chewer needs some time alone. [leaves the Krusty Krab and sulks away]
 * [Later that night, Mr. Krabs stops at a brick wall and wails in sadness. His stomach moans and groans in hunger, giving Mr. Krabs so much pain.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, the Chum Bucket's the only place in town still selling chum, but I can't go crawling to Plankton for help. No, I won't. I got too much pride for that. [cuts to Mr. Krabs invading Plankton's trash can, looking for some chum] Oh, come on, there's gotta be some chum in here somewhere!