The Bus

[Bus pulls up to curb, opens door]


 * Hey guys! Eh, why the long face? Feelin' gloomy?


 * One, his face is long because he tried to stretch his skin to make it look like he's too old to go to school. Two, no, Mom didn't buy it.


 * And three, yes, I'm feeling gloomy.

[''Gumball and Darwin get on bus, and Gumball trips on his own face. Bus drives off.'']


 * Oh, man, I don't know how you guys do it.


 * Eh, it's not that difficult to learn how to stretch your face. There's an online tutorial for everything now-a-days. (to Leslie) So, did you finish...


 * No, I mean I don't know how you go to school every day.


 * Rocky, you drive us there.


 * Well... I don't have to.


 * (grinning) Reeeeaaaalllyyyy....? (neck cracks as he turns his head) Aah! Aah...


 * Well, we're on a bus. We could go anywhere.

(excitedly) Like under the sea, or to outer space, or up a rainbow?


 * Well, anywhere with a road. But not up steep hills... or under low bridges.


 * Let's do it! After all, we've got the rest of our lives to go to school.


 * Well, I think we should go to school, so we can work hard and get the best possible start in li--


 * (sighs) (walks over and pops Alan off-screen) Anyone else wanna go to school?


 * No, no, no no no...


 * Okay! No school it is!

[bus drives past school]


 * So, where should we go instead?


 * Daisyland!


 * The beach!


 * The school bus!


 * We're already on the school bus!


 * (ecstatically) Ya-hah!


 * What about the water park?


 * (chatter in agreement)


 * Aww, the beach!


 * All-righty, we just gotta make one more stop.

[bus stops, door opens]


 * Is that all of you, Mr. Pink? (winks)


 * (off-screen) Almost. Looks like Mr. Yellow didn't make it.

[bus door closes, bus drives off] [Banana Bob looks on from overpass]


 * (chuckles sinisterly) Why catch the bus when the bus can catch you?

[Bob jumps from overpass but lands on road]


 * Uh... the binoculars made it look closer than it was. (looks through binoculars backwards) So I guess it's still quite fa--

[Bob is run over by bus.]


 * Ugh...

[On bus, students are still discussing destination]


 * (to Tobias) Alright, we'll go to the water park, then the beach!

[Tobias opens mouth to protest, but a foot stomps and startles the students]


 * (clears throat) Good afternoon, children, my name is Mr. Brown. This is Mr. Pink, Mr. Rainbow, and Mr. White, and we'll be your captors for the day. The exits are... (loudly) irrelevant, 'cause you're going nowhere!"


 * Nobody move, or I'll be forced to use this! (holds out briefcase)

All Students but Gumball: (gasp) It's a briefcase!


 * (ticking sound comes from briefcase) No, more than that.

All Students but Gumball: (gasp) It's a ticking briefcase!


 * No, more than that.

All Students but Gumball: (gasp) It's a bo--


 * (panicking) No no, no no no no no, less than that!


 * Uh, yes, we are legally obliged to say it's not one of those.

All Students but Gumball: Oh my gosh, they've got a b-- (cut off by sound of bus)


 * (sighs) Oh, come on guys. It's obviously not a bo--


 * But it's ticking!


 * And masked strangers have taken over the bus!


 * But they're clearly our parents trying to teach us some sort of lesson! Principal Brown hasn't even changed his name!


 * Yes I have! I-I mean he has. I-I mean he hasn't... I mean... who is this 'Principal Brown'?


 * (whispering) You are!


 * Shh! (phone vibrates) Oh, uh, yes... (reading text) we are going to call the cops and tell them we won't release you until our demands are met! Make the call, Mr. Rainbow.


 * (whispering) I thought we were gonna disguise my voice!


 * Um...


 * (sighs) Alright.( blows air into Harold's mouth)

(high-pitched voice) Hello, police? We have taken control of the school bus, and you'd better do what we say, or (voice deepens) there'll be consequences. Oh, sorry... (Dexter blows air into Harold's mouth again) (high-pitched voice) or there'll be consequences.


 * Oh, come on, Alan. You're telling me you don't even recognize the balloon?


 * Wait... I do recognize him.


 * Yeah?


 * I saw him in our house last night!


 * Yeah?


 * On TV. Elmore's most wanted.


 * (sighs) It's just  our parents trying to teach us a lesson. Like when my dad tried to teach us the dangers of texting while walking.

[cut to Gumball and Darwin, walking around a manhole and texting, with Richard inside]


 * (fake-sounding voice) Help me! I've fallen down this manhole because I was texting while walking!

[cut back to bus]


 * Darwin, you can't seriously be scared of these guys!


 * Of course I am! They're criminal masterminds!


 * (to other adults) I just think it would be fun, I've never been in a hovercraft.


 * No, we should ask for a private jet. They always ask for a private jet.


 * Could it be a private hovercraft?


 * (phone vibrates) (reads text) We need to ask for money!


 * How much?


 * It doesn't matter, the police know this is all fake!


 * See, they're not scary.


 * (determinedly) You're right! We just need a leader to reason with them. (dramatic music plays) Someone brave.


 * (clears throat)


 * Someone who's not afraid to look the enemy in the eye!


 * (clears throat loudly)


 * Someone who laughs in the face of danger!


 * (clears throat loudly) (laughs) (clears throat again)


 * I would say you, Gumball, but you're obviously sick. Hm... maybe Leslie.


 * No! Me! I'll do it!


 * Oh, but hovercrafts are... (Gumball taps on Richard's shoulder) Hm?


 * Uh, Dad?


 * It's Mr. Pink.


 * (unimpressed) Fine, Mr. Pink. I know it's you, Dad.


 * Uh... (nervously) I've never heard of this 'dad' of whom you speak. I'm just a criminal. How did I become a criminal, you ask?


 * I didn't ask.


 * I suppose it all started when I was eleven years old and skipped a math class.


 * Uh-huh.


 * And for this crime, the punishment was harsh and swift. I spent twelve years in juvie, then five years inside, then twenty-four years on the run, then thirty years back in the big house, then a further seven in solitary.


 * That makes you eighty-nine. That doesn't add up.


 * (laughs) Well, I wouldn't know, 'cause I skipped that math class.


 * Sure. So, I assume you all ended up in a life of crime through skipping school?

,, and ''': Uh-huh. Yeah. Mm-hm.'''


 * Well, uh, my tragic story starts on the right side of the tracks, but boy, it sure doesn't stay there.


 * Yeah, yeah, we get it.


 * But I learned the whole thing! Don't I get to... ohh... (disappointed)


 * See, I told you. It's a load of hooey.

[siren sounds come from outside, and a fleet of police cars pursue the bus]


 * Take the wheel and get me closer! (climbs out window) Closer... closer... closer! (through speaker) We are willing... (breaks window) Okay, too close. (car backs away) We are willing to meet your demands! I'll throw the money over in three, two, one... (throws money, misses, hits police car)


 * Aaaagh! (cars fly out of control)


 * That one's gonna hurt the taxpayer. Control, we need another million dollars.


 * They doubled their demands?


 * Uh, uh... yeah! They doubled their demands! Uh...


 * Wow, they're really going big on this.


 * If only they responded this fast to real crimes.


 * Where do you want the money?


 * (phone vibrates) (reading text) Leave the million dollops of unmasked bulls on the cold desert toad!


 * What? (through loudspeaker) What?


 * Oh, sorry, auto-correct. Leave the million dollars of unmarked bills on the old desert road!


 * All units fall back, ahead of second drop-off.

[at old desert road, bus approaches]


 * Any sign of him, chief? I'm cooking out here.


 * They're on their way. Make the drop.

[Hamburger Cop leaves briefcase on road]


 * Okay, you hold onto me, and I'll reach out and grab the briefcase! [goes out bus door but is caught in wind] Maybe we should switch!

[Richard leans out and grabs briefcase]


 * Did you get it?


 * (briefcase in mouth) Uh-huh.


 * (on phone) Okay, we have the money. Now we don't want to see any red lights between here and the airport.

[lights on street all turn green, and Doughnut Sheriff notices]


 * They're heading for the airport! We've gotta take 'em down! (loud voice shatters french fry cop)

[''police cars crash into one another as they chase the speeding bus. The 'hijackers' open the briefcase and discover real money'']

,, , and : (gasp)


 * Wait, this wasn't supposed to be real money!


 * It was just a trick to teach the kids a lesson!


 * Well, I guess the lesson you've actually taught is that crime does pay. Well done, chaps. You've done good.


 * GET 'EM!

All Students but Gumball: AAAAGH! (attack and subdue adults)


 * We got 'eeeem!


 * Kinda...


 * And now to reveal their true identities! (students remove masks)

All Students but Gumball: (gasp)


 * They were our parents all along?!


 * Really?


 * (guiltily) You've got me, it's true. I am Richard Watersonnn....nn's EVIL TWIN BROTHER!


 * Give it up, Dad!


 * We just wanted to teach you that skipping school isn't cool or exciting.


 * By involving us in a million-dollar high-speed police chase, which is probably the most cool or exciting thing we've ever done?


 * Yes! But we thought it was all going to be pretend! Hang on... if the money's genuine, then the cops are for real... (holds up ticking briefcase) does that mean this is a real...?


 * Bada-BOOM!


 * (scream in terror)


 * Whose insane idea was this?


 * (phone vibrates) (reading text) Stick to the pan, or everyone dines.


 * Darn auto-correct... stupid thing never works. (stares at class awkwardly)


 * (gasps) Rob?!


 * (sarcastically) Oh NOW, you remember my name! It's Dr. Wrecker to you, and yes, this whole thing was my idea! All I had to do was suggest the plan to Principal Brown, make sure the police thought it was real, and switch the briefcase for something a little more.. shall we say... explosive.


 * But why??


 * Because... I... am... your... NEMESIS! And also for the money...

[bus drives quickly over speed bump, throwing everyone into the air]


 * (dazed) Sorry, it's kind of hard to keep your eyes on the road when there's a crucial plot twist happening in the back of your bu--

[''Rocky passes out on the wheel. The bus begins driving wildly, and the money slides to Rob.'']


 * The money!


 * (laughs sinisterly)