The Gripes

Grumpy Morning

 * Ughhhhh.
 * Problem, buddy?
 * I really like this song, but I want to sleep some more.
 * [Laugh] Okay. I’ll turn it off, then. [Switches off]
 * Ugh! But I really liked that song.
 * Ha! Oh, no problem! [Switches on] Listen to the song then.
 * Ughhhhh! But I want to sleep some more.
 * [Laughs impatiently] Let’s just have breakfast.
 * Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
 * Ughhhhh! There’s too much food in the fridge, and the milk is at the back! But the back is cold.
 * Breakfast!
 * [Drops toaster] [Laughs] It’s okay. Dad made us breakfast!
 * Ugh! He used the sausage for the eyebrows instead of the mouth, so my breakfast face looks mildly alarmed instead of smiling.
 * Okay. Can we stop with the bad vibes, please? You’re turning my milk sour.
 * Ugh! You don’t understand my pain. So don’t judge my life, okay?
 * [Laughs irritably] Let’s just watch some TV.
 * Ughhhhh! The remote is too far from the couch!
 * No problem! I’ll get it!
 * Gumball looks sad today. What should we do?
 * [Sarcastically] I know! We should go and buy this poor, privileged kid an incredible surprise present. So he can have something new to gripe about.
 * Okay!
 * Really? Is everyone in this family immune to sarcasm?
 * [Sarcastically] I know! We should go and buy this poor, privileged kid an incredible surprise present. So he can have something new to gripe about.
 * Okay!
 * Really? Is everyone in this family immune to sarcasm?

Complaints Galore

 * Ughhhh! I love this game, but I don’t have the patience to get into the story. [Skips dialogue] Ughhh! I pressed a time too many! Now we have to go through that whole dialogue again.
 * Ehhhh… [Explodes with fury and burns background] [In deep voice] THERE? YOU HAPPY NOW? YOU PUT ME IN A BAD MOOD TOO!
 * Ughhhh! You’re setting the couch on fire!
 * Ugh! You’re so annoying!
 * Ughh!
 * Ughhh!
 * Ughh!
 * Ughhh!
 * Ughh!
 * Ughhh!
 * and : Ughh!
 * Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ve run out of things to moan about.
 * Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ve run out of things to moan about.

Out In The Streets

 * Ughh! Dude, your new sneakers are too bright. They’re burning my retinas!
 * Dude, you’re making me foot-conscious. Come on, help me dirty them up.
 * [Wipes feet on Darwin's shoes]
 * Dirtier.
 * [Wipes feet on Darwin's shoes again]
 * A little more.
 * [Wipes feet on Darwin's shoes]
 * A little more.
 * Ughhhh! Too dirty. [Throws shoes away] Thanks a lot. Now I’m naked!
 * Ohh! You’re so moany. [Grabs garbage bags]  Just wear these.
 * Aah-ohh! Now I look like I got my feet from a grocery store.
 * Now I feel overdressed next to you. [Darwin rips Gumball's sweater] That was my favourite sweater.
 * and : Ughhhhh!
 * Guys, are you okay? You look really, uh...waterproof.
 * Ughh! Life is horrible, man.
 * What’s wrong?
 * What is not wrong? I’m starving. I’m wearing rags. I’m-
 * [Covers mouth] Shhhh! Say no more. I can see the pain in your eyes. [Shouts] THESE CHILDREN NEED HEEEEEELP!
 * Oh, my gosh! [Runs off only to come back and take Hobo's hat] They might need this, as well. [Runs off again only to come back and take Hobo's wallet] And this. [Approaches Gumball and Darwin] Please take these. [Takes off boots] And these. [Takes off ring] And this. Oh! [Takes kidney out] [Wheezes] And this.
 * I’m pretty sure you’re gonna need that kidney.
 * Maybe. [Falls down]
 * Aw, I always knew you guys had problems. But I never realized how bad it was.
 * [Stomach growls]
 * Have you eaten today, son?
 * No, I haven’t. But it’s because-
 * Eat! [Holds out burger with flies and a worm in it]
 * Oh-ho-ho! [Laughs] I think there’s a misunderstanding here.
 * Pride is important, but sometimes you have to accept the help of others.
 * Heh. No, sir. You don’t understand.
 * Swallow your pride and eat!
 * Aah! Okay. Okay. [Takes a bite and slurps worm] [Gags]
 * He’s so grateful, he’s got tears in his eyes.
 * Here you go, kid. [Donates money]
 * It’s not much, but it’ll help. [Donates money]
 * People, please! Seriously, we’re not poor!
 * Of course you’re not. You’re richer than all of us, in here. [Points to Gumball's stomach] That’s not your heart, is it? Sorry, I’m a vegetable. I don’t really know how you people work.
 * Trust me, guys! We’re fine! It’s not like we’re on the streets or anything!
 * Although, technically, we kind of are, since dad took the car and left.
 * [Gasp]
 * I always knew he was a bad parent. [Fastens seatbelt around groceries] His big, happy, fat, evil face, his sinister dimples, and those beady doe eyes. [Puts Billy in the trunk]
 * [Gasp]
 * I always knew he was a bad parent. [Fastens seatbelt around groceries] His big, happy, fat, evil face, his sinister dimples, and those beady doe eyes. [Puts Billy in the trunk]

In The Store

 * So, what do you think will make him happiest? A go-kart or a real pony?
 * [Sarcastically] Why not buy the whole store? It only comes to a billion dollars.
 * Oh. Okay! [Grabs everything he can]
 * [Grabs a glove, and facepalms]
 * High five!
 * Was that sarcasm again?
 * Yes! So, do you get it now?
 * Yeah!
 * Are you lying?
 * Yeah.
 * Would you like me to explain it again?
 * Yeah.

Raising Money

 * So. How are we gonna raise money for these poor, broken little children?
 * Let’s do a charity calendar!
 * Can we make it a naked calendar?
 * Let’s put on a music festival!
 * Can we make it a naked music festival?
 * Let’s do a charity bake!
 * Can we do it naked?
 * All right. Who keeps saying that?
 * What? All I have is a mustache, and I really want to be involved. You guys have to tell me if I need to buy a hat or something.
 * Okay. I’m going to say this now in a way that is impossible for you to misunderstand. I mean only the words I am saying right now. There are no hidden meaning or subtexts: we do not need your charity!
 * [Sobs] [Hugs Gumball] You’re such a brave soul.
 * Mm! Mm! Ohh.
 * Awww!
 * Awww!

Shopping Again

 * Okay. So, sarcasm is when you say something you don’t mean but with an eyebrow raised?
 * [Facepalms]
 * High five!
 * Close enough. Look, why not try it on this lady here?
 * My dimples are purple! [Whispers] Not really. That was sarcasm.
 * High five!
 * High five!

We're Not Poor

 * [Singing] Love can set you free. Because love has got the key! Love can cross the sea because love can water-ski. Love can make you live for eternity! Well, not literally.
 * Thank you! Thank you! The response so far has been amazing, but please continue giving so we can spark hope in these kids' hearts and let their spirits burn as bright as these symbolic candles.
 * Okay, dude. This has gone too far. Tell them the truth.
 * Why me?
 * Because [Gives megaphone] you have the megaphone.
 * Our young friend Darwin wants to say something to you all!
 * We’re not poor.
 * They lied to u-u-u-us!
 * Hahahahahahaha! People, please! Put down these pitchforks… that you took to the mall for whatever reason. We didn’t lie! We’re mega poor, right, Darwin?
 * Prove it!
 * Sure! We’re, um… we’re like, so poor that we can’t afford free stuff! We’re so poor that we lick stamps for breakfast! We’re so poor that we opened an e-mail account just to eat the spam!
 * That’s not proof! That’s just jokes stolen from the internet! These guys are fakes!
 * What do you want from us?! Do you really want to see us eat dog food in our squalor dump of a house, wearing garbage bags?! Is that it?! Would that make you happy?!
 * No, no. I believe you. I’m sorry we ever doubted you.
 * NO DUDE! Come to our house! Come on! Our house’s not good enough for you?!
 * Oh, no, no, no. I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your hospitality. S-sure, we’ll come.
 * [Nervously] Hahahahaha! Okay! Okay. Uh, just give us five minutes to tidy up.
 * No, no. I believe you. I’m sorry we ever doubted you.
 * NO DUDE! Come to our house! Come on! Our house’s not good enough for you?!
 * Oh, no, no, no. I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your hospitality. S-sure, we’ll come.
 * [Nervously] Hahahahaha! Okay! Okay. Uh, just give us five minutes to tidy up.

"Tidying" Up

 * So, what’s the plan?
 * We got to show them what they expect to see. Let’s trash everything, fix it all with their big check, and go back to our lives.
 * I-
 * Zip! Before you say anything, do you have a better plan? Then you have two seconds to look as disapproving as you can.
 * [Looks disapproving]
 * Good! Now let’s get on with it! [Starts trashing house]
 * I don’t feel comfortable doing this.
 * Just remember… It’s all for charity.
 * Dude, we’re on the clock here! Smash faster!
 * I’m doing it as fast as I can!
 * Then smash smarter!
 * Uh…yeah. More like that. [Throws washing machine and jumps on clothes]
 * Hmm. We’re gonna need help. [Breaks window] [Sings] Come and help, my little friends!
 * Hahaha! Very good! Very good! [SIngs to mouse hole]
 * Come out and spread your disease! [Rats stampede onto the floor] Haha! Very good! [Gets bitten and infected by disease]
 * Excellent! Good work, everyone!
 * [Squeaks]
 * What’s that, my little friend? [Gasps] You’re right. We need a final touch.
 * Hahahaha! Good job! Good job! [Sings] [Gags]
 * [Cuts clothes] So, ready yet?!
 * [Throws mattress out of window] Almost! [Sees a cube dog] Oh, a disreputable dog breed. Nice touch.
 * “Friendship, understanding, acceptance”?
 * Well, if we have to be vandals, we should at least carry a positive message.
 * Uhh! Get in the house! Get in the house!
 * Love can cross the sea.
 * Okay, here it goes. [Scratches himself with rat] How do I look?
 * Contagious.
 * Good.
 * Well, if we have to be vandals, we should at least carry a positive message.
 * Uhh! Get in the house! Get in the house!
 * Love can cross the sea.
 * Okay, here it goes. [Scratches himself with rat] How do I look?
 * Contagious.
 * Good.
 * Good.

Visitors

 * [Knocks on door] [Knocks down door] Even in my worst nightmares, I wouldn’t have imagined it would be this bad. [Points to a group of rats with their tails tied together] Is that what people call a rat king?
 * No, Mr. Small. It’s what we call “terror”.
 * Bring forth the check!
 * Sorry, I just thought it would sound more impressive with some music. Ne-never mind.
 * [Arrives] What is going on here?! Who trashed the house?!
 * They trashed the house on purpose! They lie-e-e-ed!
 * [Raises pitchforks in the air]
 * Well, you won’t be needing this! [Tries to tear check apart] Well, you get the idea.
 * No, wait! Now the house is actually trashed, we really do need your help!
 * Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]
 * [Honks horn while arriving in the car] Hey kids! I got you jet skis!
 * Your dad is not a monster!
 * [Raises pitchforks in the air]
 * No, wait! You should see how much dad spent on these! We are broke now!
 * So, are you poor or not?
 * Yeah, sure. [Sarcastically] I’m un unemployed man with three children. I’m obviously a millionaire.
 * [Raises pitchforks in the air once more]
 * Eh, bad timing. But good sarcasm.
 * Please stop! You guys are insane! You change your mind for yes-
 * Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]
 * Or no-
 * [Raises pitchforks in the air once more]
 * Hello-
 * Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]
 * Or goodbye-
 * [Raises pitchforks in the air once more]
 * An apple-
 * Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]
 * Or an orange-
 * [Raises pitchforks in the air once more]
 * A durp-
 * Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]
 * Or a blurp.
 * [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Replaces pitchforks with candles]
 * Everybody listen! I think we all learned a very important lesson today, and this lesson is… don’t complain! Be happy with what you got. No that’s not the quite right. Uh, be careful of what you say! Nah, no, that’s not it either. Uh, don’t jump to conclusions! No, no. Don’t try to be something you’re not, cause, uh… Be yourself? I don’t know, man. Maybe the lesson is sometimes some people do stuff, things happen and it kind of goes nowhere. Anyway [Takes check] thanks for the check. Bye!
 * [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Replaces pitchforks with candles]
 * Everybody listen! I think we all learned a very important lesson today, and this lesson is… don’t complain! Be happy with what you got. No that’s not the quite right. Uh, be careful of what you say! Nah, no, that’s not it either. Uh, don’t jump to conclusions! No, no. Don’t try to be something you’re not, cause, uh… Be yourself? I don’t know, man. Maybe the lesson is sometimes some people do stuff, things happen and it kind of goes nowhere. Anyway [Takes check] thanks for the check. Bye!
 * Everybody listen! I think we all learned a very important lesson today, and this lesson is… don’t complain! Be happy with what you got. No that’s not the quite right. Uh, be careful of what you say! Nah, no, that’s not it either. Uh, don’t jump to conclusions! No, no. Don’t try to be something you’re not, cause, uh… Be yourself? I don’t know, man. Maybe the lesson is sometimes some people do stuff, things happen and it kind of goes nowhere. Anyway [Takes check] thanks for the check. Bye!