Off the Rails/Gordon Takes a Dip

Ringo Starr UK Version:

 * Ringo Starr: Gordon was resting in a siding.
 * Gordon: Sometimes.
 * Ringo Starr: He thought.
 * Gordon: It’s really tiring to be such a large and splendid engine. One does have to keep up appearances so.
 * Henry: Peep peep! Peep peep! Hullo, Fatface!
 * Ringo Starr: Whistled Henry.
 * Gordon: What cheek!
 * Ringo Starr: Spluttered Gordon.
 * Gordon: That Henry is too big for his wheels; fancy speaking to me like that! Me e e e who has never had an accident!
 * Percy: Aren’t jammed whistles and burst safety valves accidents?
 * Ringo Starr: Asked Percy innocently.
 * Gordon: No indeed! High spirits – might happen to any engine; but to come off the rails like Henry did, well I ask you! Is it right? Is it decent?
 * Ringo Starr: Then it was Henry’s turn to take the Express. Gordon watched him getting ready.
 * Gordon: Be careful, Henry. You’re not pulling the “Flying Kipper” now; mind you keep on the rails today.
 * Ringo Starr: Henry went off in a huff, and Gordon yawned and went to sleep. But not for long.
 * Gordon’s Driver: Wake up, Gordon.
 * Ringo Starr: Said his Driver.
 * Gordon’s Driver: A Special train’s coming and we’re to pull it.
 * Gordon: Is it Coaches or Trucks?
 * Gordon’s Driver: Trucks.
 * Ringo Starr: Said his Driver.
 * Gordon: Trucks!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: Pah!
 * Ringo Starr: Gordon’s fire was slow to start, so Edward had to push Gordon to the turntable to get him facing the right way.
 * Gordon: I won’t go, I won’t go.
 * Ringo Starr: Grumbled Gordon.
 * Edward: Don’t be silly, don’t be silly.
 * Ringo Starr: Puffed Edward. At last Gordon was on the turntable. The movement had shaken his fire; it was now burning nicely and making steam. Gordon was cross, and didn’t care what he did. He waited till the table was half-way round.
 * Gordon: I’ll show them! I’ll show them!
 * Ringo Starr: He hissed. He moved slowly forward, to “jam” the table. But he couldn’t stop himself, and slithered into a ditch.
 * Gordon: Oooosh!
 * Ringo Starr: He hissed.
 * Gordon: Get me out! Get me out!
 * Gordon’s Driver and Fireman: Not a hope.
 * Ringo Starr: Said his Driver and Fireman.
 * Gordon’s Driver and Fireman: You’re stuck, you silly great engine, don’t you understand that?
 * Ringo Starr: They telephoned the Fat Controller.
 * The Fat Controller: So Gordon didn’t want to take the Special train and ran into a ditch. What’s that you say? The Special’s waiting – tell Edward to take it please – and Gordon? Oh leave him where he is; we haven’t time to bother with him now.
 * Ringo Starr: On the other side of the ditch some little boys were chattering.
 * Boys: Coo! Doesn’t he look silly! They’ll never get him out.
 * Ringo Starr: They began to sing.
 * Boys: Silly old Gordon fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, Silly old Gordon fell in a ditch, All on a Monday morning.
 * Ringo Starr: Gordon lay in the ditch all day.
 * Gordon: Oh dear!
 * Ringo Starr: He thought.
 * Gordon: I shall never get out.
 * Ringo Starr: But that evening they lifted Gordon and made a road of sleepers under his wheels to keep him from the mud. Strong ropes were fastened to his back end, and James and Henry, pulling hard, managed to bring him to safety. Late that night Gordon crawled home a sadder and wiser engine!

Ringo Starr US Version:

 * Ringo Starr: Gordon was resting in a siding.
 * Gordon: Sometimes.
 * Ringo Starr: He thought.
 * Gordon: It’s really tiring to be such a large and splendid engine. One does have to keep up appearances so.
 * Henry: Peep peep! Peep peep! Hullo, lazybones!
 * Ringo Starr: Whistled Henry.
 * Gordon: What cheek!
 * Ringo Starr: Spluttered Gordon.
 * Gordon: That Henry is too big for his wheels; fancy speaking to me like that! Me e e e who has never had an accident!
 * Percy: Aren’t jammed whistles and burst safety valves accidents?
 * Ringo Starr: Asked Percy innocently.
 * Gordon: No indeed! High spirits – might happen to any engine; but to come off the rails like Henry did, well I ask you! Is it right? Is it decent?
 * Ringo Starr: Then it was Henry’s turn to take the Express. Gordon watched him getting ready.
 * Gordon: Be careful, Henry. You’re not pulling the “Flying Kipper” now; mind you keep on the rails today.
 * Ringo Starr: Henry went off in a huff, and Gordon yawned and went to sleep. But not for long.
 * Gordon’s Driver: Wake up, Gordon.
 * Ringo Starr: Said his Driver.
 * Gordon’s Driver: A Special train’s coming and we’re to pull it.
 * Gordon: Is it Coaches or Freight Cars?
 * Gordon’s Driver: Cars.
 * Ringo Starr: Said his Driver.
 * Gordon: Cars!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: Pah!
 * Ringo Starr: Gordon’s fire was slow to start, so Edward had to push Gordon to the turntable to get him facing the right way.
 * Gordon: I won’t go, I won’t go.
 * Ringo Starr: Grumbled Gordon.
 * Edward: Don’t be silly, don’t be silly.
 * Ringo Starr: Puffed Edward. At last Gordon was on the turntable. The movement had shaken his fire; it was now burning nicely and making steam. Gordon was cross, and didn’t care what he did. He waited till the table was half-way round.
 * Gordon: I’ll show them! I’ll show them!
 * Ringo Starr: He hissed. He moved slowly forward, to “jam” the table. But he couldn’t stop himself, and slithered into a ditch.
 * Gordon: Oooosh!
 * Ringo Starr: He hissed.
 * Gordon: Get me out! Get me out!
 * Gordon’s Driver and Fireman: Not a hope.
 * Ringo Starr: Said his Driver and Fireman.
 * Gordon’s Driver and Fireman: You’re stuck, you silly great engine, don’t you understand that?
 * Ringo Starr: They telephoned Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: So Gordon didn’t want to take the Special train and ran into a ditch. What’s that you say? The Special’s waiting – tell Edward to take it please – and Gordon? Oh leave him where he is; we'll get him out later.
 * Ringo Starr: On the other side of the ditch some little boys were chattering.
 * Boys: Coo! Doesn’t he look silly! They’ll never get him out.
 * Ringo Starr: They began to sing.
 * Boys: Silly old Gordon fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, Silly old Gordon fell in a ditch, All on a Monday morning.
 * Ringo Starr: Gordon lay in the ditch all day.
 * Gordon: Oh dear!
 * Ringo Starr: He thought.
 * Gordon: I shall never get out.
 * Ringo Starr: But that evening they lifted Gordon and made a road of sleepers under his wheels to keep him from the mud. Strong ropes were fastened to his back end, and James and Henry, pulling hard, managed to bring him to safety. Late that night Gordon crawled home a sadder and wiser engine!

George Carlin US Version:

 * George Carlin: Gordon was resting in a siding. Sometimes he thought.
 * Gordon: It’s really tiring to be such a large and splendid engine. One does have to keep up appearances so.
 * Henry: Peep peep! Peep peep! Hullo, lazybones!
 * George Carlin: Whistled Henry.
 * Gordon: What cheek!
 * George Carlin: Spluttered Gordon.
 * Gordon: That Henry is too big for his wheels; fancy speaking to me like that! Me e e e who has never had an accident!
 * Percy: Aren’t jammed whistles and burst safety valves accidents?
 * George Carlin: Asked Percy innocently.
 * Gordon: No indeed! High spirits – might happen to any engine; but to come off the rails like Henry did, well I ask you! Is that right? Is it decent?
 * George Carlin: Then it was Henry’s turn to take the Express. Gordon watched him getting ready.
 * Gordon: Be careful, Henry. You’re not pulling the “Flying Kipper” now; mind you keep on the rails today.
 * George Carlin: Henry went off in a huff, and Gordon yawned and went to sleep. But not for long.
 * Gordon’s Driver: Wake up, Gordon.
 * George Carlin: Said his Driver.
 * Gordon’s Driver: A Special train’s coming and we’re to pull it.
 * Gordon: Is it Coaches or Freight Cars?
 * Gordon’s Driver: Cars.
 * George Carlin: Said his Driver.
 * Gordon: Cars!
 * George Carlin: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: Pah!
 * George Carlin: Gordon’s fire was slow to start, so Edward had to push Gordon to the turntable to get him facing the right way.
 * Gordon: I won’t go, I won’t go.
 * George Carlin: Grumbled Gordon.
 * Edward: Don’t be silly, don’t be silly.
 * George Carlin: Puffed Edward. At last Gordon was on the turntable. The movement had shaken his fire; it was now burning nicely and making steam. Gordon was cross, and didn’t care what he did. He waited till the table was half-way round.
 * Gordon: I’ll show them! I’ll show them!
 * George Carlin: He hissed. He moved slowly forward, to “jam” the table. But he couldn’t stop himself, and slithered into a ditch.
 * Gordon: Oooosh!
 * George Carlin: He hissed.
 * Gordon: Get me out! Get me out!
 * Gordon’s Driver and Fireman: Not a hope.
 * George Carlin: Said his Driver and Fireman.
 * Gordon’s Driver and Fireman: You’re stuck, you silly great engine, don’t you understand that?
 * George Carlin: They telephoned Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: So Gordon didn’t want to take the Special train and ran into a ditch. What’s that you say? The Special’s waiting – tell Edward to take it please – and Gordon? Leave him where he is; we'll get him out later.
 * George Carlin: On the other side of the ditch some little boys were chattering.
 * Boys: Oh! Doesn’t he look silly! They’ll never get him out.
 * George Carlin: They began to sing.
 * Boys: Silly old Gordon fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, Silly old Gordon fell in a ditch, All on a Monday morning.
 * George Carlin: Gordon lay in the ditch all day.
 * Gordon: Oh dear!
 * George Carlin: He thought.
 * Gordon: I shall never get out.
 * George Carlin: But that evening they lifted Gordon and made a road of sleepers under his wheels to keep him from the mud. Strong ropes were fastened to his back end, and James and Henry, pulling hard, managed to bring him to safety. Late that night Gordon crawled home a sadder and wiser engine!