Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror

Introduction
(Open on a rather spooky landscape. A wolf howls in the background. A truck with the sign "The Macabre Book Mobile" pulls up. The sign lifts up revealing a cavalcade of books. A rather grim looking narrator, Mr. Macabre, arises from under with an ominous light beneath him as we hear the "Toccata and Fugue in D minor".)

Mr. Macabre: Hello, children. Welcome to the Macabre Book Mobile. What is your pleasure tonight? How about a fright? Well, you are in luck, because I have three stories that are guaranteed to make you scream with delight. Mwa...Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (a hand tickles him with a feather) Stop it! (takes the feather) Enough with the feather, Renfield. We talked about this. Now, knock it off and go stand over there by the Chifferobe. And stay off of those olives. I'm saving them. (zoom in) For company. Mwa...Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hipster Guy: (offscreen) Uh, excuse me?

Mr. Macabre: What?

Hipster Guy: Can I get a free-range organic grilled cheese slider?

Mr. Macabre: This isn't a food truck, you baboon. It's a Macabre Book Mobile.

Hipster Guy: (takes out phone and leaves) Yeah, I'm totally giving you a bad review.

Mr. Macabre: (shakes fist) May the ancient moths of Sumeria feast upon your skinny jeans! (phone buzzes) One star? Man, that burns. Now where was I? Oh, yes. The first story in our (blood red title appears on screen) Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror... (notices the title on screen) Oh, for crying out loud! (Takes out a squeegee and wipes off the words, line by line.) Sorry about that. Now where were we?

Ducky Momo Turns Evil
Mr. Macabre: Chapter one. A teenage girl chats idly (Crossfade to the Flynn-Fletcher house.) to her friend alone in her room as a storm rages outside. （A lightning flashes on background) Little does she know what evil awaits her as she discovers how dangerous careless words can be.

(Crossfade to Candace's bedroom. Candace is in a bathrobe and towel sitting by the window with her Ducky Momo doll and Mr. Miggins.)

Candace: (on phone) No, Stacy, I have the whole place to myself. Mom and Dad are at the movies, and the boys are playing ping pong over at Buford's. Oh, so listen to this weird book I've been readin'. "If one repeats this incantation in the presence of a doll, then alive it shall be!" Ha ha! But check this out: "The light of a full moon will make it evil." Oh, (picks up Ducky Momo doll) I'm so totally doing it! Oh, relax, Stacy, it's funny! Ukka-samma-hi, oona-mooda-salla. I will you alive, Ducky Momo! (in a demonic voice) "Candace, this is Ducky Momo! You must buy more of my memorabilia, like my 50th anniversary collector's item bobblehead!" (normal voice) But, y'know, I'm really concerned about its resale value. (puts the doll on her face) Aaah! Help! Help! Ha ha ha! Sorry, okay, just havin' a little fun! (leaves her windowsill and walks to her closet and while at her closet) So, what's up? Y'know I just use this new exfoliating and moisturizing scrub in the bath, which is totally confusing (Candace changes her clothes) because why exfoliate off all the cells you just moisturized?...Weird. (hears something move) Hold on, Stacy. I thought I heard a sound coming from under the bed. (reaches under her bed and a black cat screeches and scurries from under it) Cheese and crackers! Hey, we don't even have a cat. (reaches back under the bed and gets her Ducky Momo doll) How did you get under there? (picks back up the phone) Oh, it's nothing. Ducky Momo must've fallen under my bed. (to the doll) Now stay put. (lightning flash as the doll moves) Okay, so let me tell you about my day with Jeremy. So he picks me up and the same song I've been playing in my room was the same song he was playing in his car! (The doll crawls onto the bed behind her.) The same song! I mean, what are the chances of that? (Candace drops the towel onto the doll.) And then he says, "You wanna get grilled cheeses at that place?" And I was just thinkin' I wanted grilled cheese so he gets one!

(Candace kicks the doll out the window and it lands in the yard. It rises up from under the towel like Frankenstein's monster. A raccoon approaches it and it growls at the raccoon, which scurries away. The doll then looks at the house and attempts to waddle up to it, but gets crushed by a fallen tree branch. Cut to the kitchen.)

Candace: Me? I'm just makin' a snack. Just thought I'd have, you know, somethin' healthy. What? Oh, okay, you caught me. Donuts and cheesy popcorn. (The Ducky Momo doll peers behind the door. The door handle jiggles. Cut to outside as the doll attempts to open the door. The doll reaches into its stuffing and takes out a credit card and slides it through the door. Cut to Candace getting a glass of water.) Ah, Jeremy was so great, he took us out for mani-pedis. (The door opens.) Is someone there? Oh, the storm just blew the door open. Yeah, I know. Creepy. (The Ducky Momo doll attempts to walk between Candace's legs. Candace closes the door with her leg, slamming it on the doll.) Anyway, since Jeremy's mom is a regular at the mani-pedi place, we got special treatment. Yeah, they served us sparkling apple juice and finger sandwiches and made fun of us in Thai. It was all so classy. What can I say? (closes the fridge door with her foot) I love a well-groomed foot.

(Cut to outside as a now disfigured Ducky Momo doll reconfigures itself.)

(Song: "No Mo Mo")

You thought you were alone,

But then you hear a floorboard creak.

And from the shadows you see two crazy eyes

And a little orange beak.

Then you hear a noise that makes your heart skip a beat.

It's the creepy pitter patter of his little webbed feet.

You say, "No, no, no! No Momo!"

Might as well say, "Hello". You can sense that he's near.

But now you know why yellow is the color of fear.

You say, "No, no, no! No Momo!"

(Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo)

You say, "No, no, no! No Momo!"

(Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo)

Candace: Is someone there? (gasps and dials her phone) Stacy, I know you're gonna think this is crazy, but I honestly think something is in the room with me. Have you ever been in a situation where your whole body, like, senses a presence? Like, you can't see it, but it's, like...it's, like, right next to...you? (Zoom out to reveal the Ducky Momo doll on the arm of the couch. The doll quacks and stretches his arms out. Candace screams and runs off.) Upstairs! The only logical escape! (Candace runs upstairs but gets her ankle caught in a curtain. The doll approaches the stairs quacking. Candace screams and bites the curtain off. The doll climbs up the stairs. Candace frees herself from the curtain, hides behind a wall and dials her phone.) Stacy, you gotta help me! The spell from that weird book worked! Ducky Momo is alive and he's trying to get me!! No, he's downstairs. He—Would you stop laughing? Yes, you are! I can hear the milk shooting out of your nose! (She looks behind her and sees the doll and yells, dropping her phone.) My phone! (The phone lands by the doll's webbed feet. It ends the call.) Back! Stay back! Ah! (Takes down a picture) Stay away from me! (Takes down a poster and crumples it up.) You stay away! I'm serious! Uh! (She slides a table across the hall.) Oh, come on! (The doll sees the crumpled poster on the floor and walks around it.) No! He's unstoppable! (Cut to Candace pulling on her bedroom door handle.) Come on! Open! Open! Open! Oh, yeah. It's an innie. (Pushes the door open and pants.) Keep it together, Candace, think! Think think think! Block the door! Block the door! (She blocks the door with everything but the kitchen sink. She then pulls up the doll and screams and hides under her bed.) I didn't really mean to wish you to life! I was just goofing around! I don't understand! What do you want?! (The doll jumps on the bed, reaches out his arms and quacks.) Huh? It almost looks like you want a...a hug. (The doll jumps up and down excitedly.) Seriously? You just want a hug? Well, okay. (Hugs the doll.) But I don't get it. If the incantation made you alive, then the moonlight should've made you evil. (The doll shakes his head quacking and points out the window.) What? What? Oh, the moon was behind the clouds, so you're not evil. (The clouds uncover the full moon shining on Mr. Miggins, who comes to life and roars evilly.) But now Mr. Miggins is!! AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

(Cut to outside the house as lightning flashes.)

Night of the Giant Floating Baby Head
(Open on the Macabre Book Mobile. Mr. Macabre is playing with an olive in his hand.)

Mr. Macabre: Ah, you have returned for more. (Throws away the olive.) Our second story starts upon a dark and stormy night, where a platypus will soon show an evil scientist that every wish has a twist and the wisher might not wish for what he wished. Mwa..Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Crossfade to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, where Agent P is climbing the roof and sees Doofenshmirtz reading the Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror book by an inator. Perry ropes his way down. Doofenshmirtz turns the page. There is an awkward moment of silence until Doof finally looks behind him.)

Doofenshmirtz: Hey. (Beat. He finally realizes who is behind him and stammers, almost dropping the book.) Doggone it! You...You should know better than to sneak up on a guy like that! Especially on a dark and stormy night! Anyway, I was reading this weird book, and there's a chapter in here I think might interest you. (Doofenshmirtz shows Perry a chapter. Perry looks at it, but not before Doofenshmirtz closes the book on him.) Ha! Sucker! Surprised you fell for that old "slam the platypus in a book" trick. (places Perry and the book in a shelf) Actually, I'm surprised it took me that long to think of it. Anywho, you should know that that mysterious book that you are trapped in has a very interesting chapter about... Bum bum bum!! ...the inexplicable Giant Floating Baby Head! (Thunder and lightning) Wow! That was weird. Wonder if that's gonna happen every time I say, "The inexplicable Giant Floating Baby Head." (Thunder and lightning) Oh, cool! Hey, watch this! The inexplicable Giant Floating Baby HHHHam Sandwich. (thunder and lightning) Ah! Anyway, the chapter says that if you get close enough to touch the...uh, the inexplicable Giant Floating (whispers) you know... (normal voice) you get three wishes. Pretty sweet, huh? The rest of the chapter was devoted to the Giant Floating...Rest of the Baby, but since I've never seen one in Danville, I never finished. So how am I going to get the Baby Head to come to me? Behold! (walks up to the inator) The Inexplicable-Giant-Floating-Baby-Head-Attract-inator! (Thunder and lightning) Everything I know about getting a baby's attention has gone into this inator. (Zoom to top of -inator, a set of keys is on it) Yes! Babies like keys, right? When you shake your keys.(Zoom back) Yeah, it's...it's one of the things they like. (He pushes a button on a remote and the roof opens up. Thunder and lightning as the Giant Floating Baby Head floats up silhouetted. It floats into the light cooing.) It's so horrible! (Walks up to it.) Gently, gently. Don't kill me. Just one...small...touch. (He touches the Baby Head and falls backwards into a pile of empty boxes.) It's gone! (He gasps as he sees that three of his four fingers now have baby faces on them.) Perry the Platypus, look at my hand! It's-It's kind of disturbing, but it worked! I get three wishes! Okay, we'll give this a whirl. I'll use one wish just to test it out. Hmm. I wish for an iced tea! (Poof!) Well, look at that! It worked! Hmm. Not bad, though it could really use some sugar and one of those lemon slices. I wasn't, see, I wasn't specific enough. Oh, right, I forgot, in these kinds of stories, there's always a twist, but, but I'm too smart for that. All I have to do is be really clear about what I want. Like, my next wish, I'll be really sure to clearly say, "I wish to control..." (Perry struggles to get out of his trap and crashes the bookshelf on Doofenshmirtz's foot) Ow! Cheese and crackers! (Poof) Oh, you think you're so clever, don't you, Perry the Platypus, making me waste a wish? Nice try, pal, but what you don't realize is that this guy knows the real waste of a wasted wish is to waste the wish that was wished wastefully. And I am not wasting this wasteful wish. The point is I now have control over cheese and crackers! Cheese, advance! (The refrigerator opens up and several cheeses come out.) Swiss, smoky Gouda, string, individually wrapped cheese food substitute! A'ight? Cheese, snack attack! You, Limburger, h-h-hold on a second, you're a strong cheese. Get this bookshelf off my foot.

(The cheeses fling themselves at Agent P, but miss him. Perry opens a drawer and gets out a cheese grater. A cheese block flings itself at Perry, and, in slow motion, Perry attacks the block with the grater. Perry grates every single block of cheese in the apartment.)

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, man, if I wasn't so hungry, this would be horrifying. (Perry is surrounded by several strands of shredded cheeses.) Well, you may have shredded it, but you haven't stopped it! (The shreds all come at Perry. Doofenshmirtz laughs evilly. Perry then kneels down and begins eating the shreds.) Oh, I see. I don't know how I forgot that cheese is edible. By the way, I believe you're over the five-second rule there, Perry the Platy— (Perry flings himself at Doofenshmirtz's head.) Ow! Well, I hope you didn't leave room for crackers! Crackers, go get 'im! (A cabinet opens and several boxes of oyster crackers fly out.) Why do I have six boxes of oyster crackers? Must've been on sale. (The boxes open and fire crackers at Perry.) Eh?

(Perry jumps behind a table. The crackers tip the table over. Perry finds a meat grinder on the floor. Using the table as a barricade, he puts the grinder on it. He picks up a box of toothpicks. He puts the toothpicks in the grinder and fires it like a machine gun.)

Doofenshmirtz: Very clever, Perry the Platypus, but let's see how you do against the hard stuff. Parmesan, give 'im a taste of your crystalline texture.

(A big wheel of Parmesan cheese emerges from a floor cabinet and wheels out breaking the table in half. Perry takes off his fedora and gets out a mouse whistle. He blows the whistle and several mice come out of a hole chasing after the cheese wheel.)

Doofenshmirtz: Ah, so you beat up a bunch of snacks. Big deal. But you forget, Perry the Platypus, I still have one wish left and I've learned from my past two mistakes. I'm going to do this one right! You know what it is I want, Perry the Platypus? I want to be the biggest ruler of the...What? Oh, you're right. I say "ruler" and I could end up being like a big wooden yardstick or something. G-Good catch. Good, good catch, Perry the Platypus. Let me rephrase that. I want to be, specifically, the monarch of—No, no. No, you're right, that's a butterfly. Well, how about, the super-inten—no, no. Wait, wait, I know! I wish to be the head of the Tri-State Area! Oh, shoot, I just heard that!

(Poof! The smoke clears as Doofenshmirtz is replaced by a Giant Floating Doofy Head.)

Giant Floating Doofy Head: Yep. Yep, I'm a head. A big old head, Perry the Platypus. That's what I wished for. (Perry leaves.) Where're you goin'? So what? I don't need your help! That's right! Just walk away,(Agent P walks to the door. He opens the door and leaves with a smiling) Perry the Platypus! Oh, you're giving me the smirk face! Nice, fine! Maybe I like being a giant head, huh? Uh, oh. Uhp, I have to itch my nose! Oh, no! I can't...Ah...AH-CHOO! (The Giant Floating Doofy Head's sneeze causes him to crash into the computer. An inexplicable cat screech is heard.) Ow! Curse you, Perry the Platypus, and you, too, you Giant inexplicable Floating Baby Head!! (Thunder and lightning) Ah, knock it off!

Invasion of the Evil Platypus Clones
(Open on the book mobile. Mr. Macabre is texting on his phone.)

Mr. Macabre: At dot dot dot, "funny what?", add the picture and...(notices the viewer) Ah! Back from the commercial, are we? (picks up the book) Shall I continue, hmm? The final grim installment in our Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror takes place in an unassuming suburban backyard, where five happy campers and their platypus discover they may not know what they're going to do today.

(Crossfade to the backyard, where Phineas and the gang are in a tent.)

Buford: Suddenly, from out of the shadows, (making a shadow puppet) the zombie bunny rabbit appeared and then he...ate up all the marshmallows!!! Numnumnumnumnumnunmnum!!!

Baljeet: Remember, those marshmallows are for everyone!

Buford: Zombie bunny don't care!

Phineas: Okay, it's my turn to tell a scary story.

Isabella: Ooh! What's it gonna be? Suspense, stalker, horror, action adventure, or my personal favorite, the campy costume alien teen romance comedy?

Phineas: Well, let's see what's in this weird book. "Make a Doll Come Alive," "How to Get Three Wishes," "Giant Floating Rest of Baby"...Hey, check it out! It says here you have to be careful not to spill grape juice on a platypus, or it will make an evil platypus clone. I'm not really sure why anyone would—

(Cut to Buford pouring some grape juice onto Perry.)

Buford: Keep readin'.

Phineas: Buford, stop! (dries Perry off with a towel and bundles him like a baby) Aw, poor little guy. Buford, you shouldn't pour anything on a platypus!

Buford: (offscreen) I just wanted to see what would happen.

(Perry chatters.)

Phineas: (unbundling Perry) Well, he's dry, but now he's purple. (The purple stain jumps off of Perry and creates a purple platypus.) Whoa!

Buford: Cool! It actually worked! (sticking a finger out) Who's my little platypus clone? (The clone snarls at Buford.) What was that all about?

Baljeet: What part of "evil clone" are you not getting?

Buford: Obviously, the "evil" part.

(The evil platypus clone gets hairy and snarls grabs the juice box and runs out of the tent.)

Isabella: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit! It's the only way to be sure.

Buford: Cheese and crackers!

(Cut to outside the tent. Phineas unzips it and the gang walk out with Perry.)

Baljeet: Oh no! Look! They are using our grape juice box to make more!

(The evil platypus clones all snarl at the gang and run off.)

Phineas: Wow, this is such a Halloween thing to happen in the middle of summer.

Isabella: What are we gonna do, Phineas?

Phineas: We have to contain these duplicating evil platypuses somehow. (paces) Uh, we could build a vacuum that attracts only platypus fur. No, no, then Perry would be in danger. Uh, maybe an alpha-ray grid to...No, no...

Buford: (aside to Baljeet) I can smell his brain workin'.

Baljeet: Oh, sure, blame it on Phineas.

Phineas: I dunno, gang. I'm kinda stumped on this one.

Baljeet: Fear not! I know someone who can help us! Follow me!

(The gang all walk out the gate, passing by the evil platypus clones doing damage to police cars, chopping telephone poles and destroying their wires, and...playing a game of tennis? Cut to an old western style building.)

Phineas: I don't get it, Baljeet. Where are we going?

Baljeet: Whenever I need counsel on a problem, I go to my life coach.

Buford: Life coach?! I am so hurt!

Baljeet: (ringing the doorbell) Buford, this man is the embodiment of pure thought and wisdom.

(The door opens revealing a cowboy.)

Cowboy: Well, well, if'n it ain't Baljeet!

Baljeet: Everyone, this is Rusty Britches. Rusty, this is everyone.

Rusty: Well, I'm right pleased to meet you kids!

Isabella: Wha...Howdy?

Rusty: Well, don't just stand there with your hair on your head and your socks tucked into your boots, come on in!

(Cut to inside the house. The gang is seen sitting on barrel chairs drinking glasses of lemonade.)

Isabella: Thank you for the lemonade, Rusty.

Rusty: You're surely welcome! Now, what can I do you for?

Phineas: If I may, Mr. Britches, the city's been overrun by evil platypuses and we can't figure out how to get rid of 'em.

Rusty: Well, that's a real beehive in your well water. Lemme get my thinkin' bench. (He walks off and a loud creaking noise is heard. He comes back and drags a bench across the floor. He puts one boot on it.) Well, it's like old Pap used to say, "When your horse starts drawin' a bath instead of a wagon, it's time to change the welcome mat."

Buford: Does anyone else get the feelin' we're really takin' our time with this thing?

Phineas: Look, Rusty, we really appreciate your colloquial prairie wisdom, but I think we have to move along before things get worse out there.

Rusty: Well, I reckon you know best. It was right fine to meet you... (His foot accidentally tips the lemonade glass on the bench over.) Aw, cheese and crackers! (He gets out a small brush and cleans up the spilt lemonade.) This is supposed to be for cleanin' boats, but sometimes, ya gotta wash with the wrong brush to get a colt to the chaparral.

Phineas: Wash? Brush?

Ferb: Chaparral?

Phineas: That's it! You're a genius, Mr. Britches!

Rusty: Aw, shucks. I'm just a simple cowboy life coach.

Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!

(The gang build and strap on some kind of cleaning fluid backpacks with nozzles on them.)

Phineas: So since the evil platypuses are made out of grape juice stains and dark magic, these high-powered bubble washers oughta do the trick. Okay, suds up, people! We're goin' platy-scrubbin'!

Rusty: (picking up a guitar) Hey, Phineas, how 'bout some good ol', down-home, granny-slappin', platy-scrubbin' musical accompaniment?

All: Yeah!

(Cut to outside. The gang and Rusty trod out.)

(Song: "Rusty Britches Song 1")

Rusty: The chips were down, the stakes were high

The kids knew it was do or die.

Ripped to shreds with razor-like claws,

Their doom was all but nigh.

Screamin' in pain, they'd be eaten alive—

Buford: Hey, hey hey hey! What the heck, man?! Ya bringin' us down!

Phineas: It's really...a good song, but, uh...

Isabella: Maybe you could play something a little more, you know, up-tempo.

Rusty: Oh, right! Gotcha!

Well, we were shootin' 'em, washin' 'em, scrubbin' 'em,

Terminatin' all the livelong day,

Happy little kids with a happy little chore

Just a-yodelin' all the way!

(Yodels off-key)

(Before he can finish his song, the evil platypuses jump on Rusty.)

Baljeet: Rusty!

Rusty: G'wan without me! It's like I always say, "You gotta..." (Before he can finish his saying, the platypuses pinch his nose and pull him down.)

Phineas: This doesn't look too good, Ferb! Everybody retreat to that factory!

(Cut to a factory. The gang run up to it. The evil platypuses follow them. Cut to inside the factory. The gang open the doors.)

Phineas: Oh, no, guys! This is a grape juice box factory!

Baljeet: How terrifyingly specific!

(The doors pound.)

Isabella: They're here!

Buford: Run!!!

(The platypuses burst through the door chasing the gang.)

Isabella: There's too many of them! PHINEAS!! (The platypuses attack Isabella and Baljeet.)

Phineas: Isabella!! (Phineas runs back, but gets attacked.)

Buford: I'm gettin' tired of runnin' from these jerks! (The platypuses attack Buford and Ferb.)

Phineas: (voiceover) And so our heroes were ripped to shreds...

(Cut to reveal Phineas back in the tent holding a flashlight under his chin.)

Phineas: ...and left to die.

Isabella: Wait a minute! That was a pretty grim ending, don't you think?

Buford: Talk about your unlightful endings.

Baljeet: He means "delightful" and he means the opposite of that.

Phineas: Okay, okay. I'll give you the Hollywood ending.

(Cut back to the gang in the factory running from the platypuses.)

Phineas: I have a plan. Everyone keep your eye out for the sprinkler system supply housing.

Isabella: There it is!

Phineas: Isabella, you, Baljeet, and Buford hold them back while we get the soap into the sprinkler system!

Isabella: You better hurry, Phineas!

Baljeet: There are too many of them!

Phineas: Oh, no! The manual override is way up there! There's no way I can reach it!

Isabella: Uh, guys, I'm out!

Baljeet: I am out, too!

Buford: What are we gonna do?!

(A bugle fanfare plays and the doors burst open revealing Rusty riding a white unicorn.)

Rusty: Yeehaw!!

Buford: Look, everyone! It's Baljeet's cowboy life coach! On a unicorn! Straining all credulity, he has come to save us!

Rusty: Soap's on, little tykes!

(The soap dissolves all the clones away.)

Baljeet: Rusty, you did it! They are all melting away!

(A bugle fanfare is heard again and the doors burst open revealing a talking grape juice box wearing sunglasses and a police officer's hat with a voice similar to Grunkle Stan's.)

Grape Juice Cop: You've saved my factory!

Baljeet: Look, everyone! It is Officer Concord the Juice Time Juice Box Flavor Cop!

Officer Concord: Well done, everyone! Let's dance!

(Song: "Platypus Walk" (instrumental))

(As everyone dances to the music, the Parmesan cheese wheel and the mice chasing after it from the second story and the Ducky Momo doll from the first story dances with them.)

(Cut back to the tent as the music warps down.)

Buford: Whoa...whoa...whoa.....whoa!! Totally unbelievable!

Baljeet: Which part? The unicorn or Officer Concord the Juice Time Juice Box Flavor Cop?

Buford: Nah. The cowboy.

Baljeet: You do not believe in cowboys?

Buford: Have you ever seen one in real life?

(Scary music plays as Baljeet widens his eyes and looks at the camera, then Isabella, then Phineas, then Ferb.)

Epilogue
(Cut to reveal Mr. Macabre in a bank holding a light under him.)

Mr. Macabre: So, you see, if I had a Macabre Book Mobile, those are the kinds of things that could happen.

Bank Officer: I'm gonna be blunt, Mr. Macabre...

Mr. Macabre: It's Macabré.

Bank Officer: Mr. Macabré, I'm not gonna give ya a loan to buy a Macabre Book Mobile.

Mr. Macabre: And why not?

Bank Officer: You have no detailed records of assets, no inventory, nothing you could use as collateral. Your stories don't even make sense! It's a bad business proposition.

Mr. Macabre: What if I were to say, "Please"?

Bank Officer: That's not gonna work.

Mr. Macabre: Please?

Bank Officer: Get out!

Mr. Macabre: Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Bank Officer: A cherry, huh? Okay, but it is the last loan I am giving you.

End credits
(Rusty is seen playing guitar on the front step of the Flynn-Fletcher house.)

Rusty: All is well that ends well

With a happy little cowboy song

(walking down the steps) Happy little steps with a happy little—

OW! (trips and falls over) Dangit!! Ah! I'm alright! You go ahead and read the credits. I...I'll just wait down here. (beat) Kinda nice down here, actually. There's a...There's a dandelion. It's all puffy and ready to go. Here ya go. (Blows, and the dandelion seeds float away.) Logo oughta be comin' up any minute. (Cue the logo.) There it is!