Tiptoe Through The Tulips

Evil Con Carne: Season: Grim and Evil Segments Episode: 6

Part 1
''[The episode begins as the sun rises at Bunny Island. The trumpets go off and all the soldiers wake up. They jump out of their beds, hop into their boots and march off. A flag is being pulled up the flagpole. The scene changes to Reginald Skarr, who is awakened by the sunrise.]''

Reginald Skarr: Whoopee! Ha, ha, ha! Today's the day!

''[Skarr hops out of bed and takes of his pajamas. Three soldiers play their drums. The scene then changes to Dr. Ghastly, who hyper sleeping in her sleeping container. Her sleeping container opens and a laser melts the ice that's holding her. She falls on the floor. The trumpets go off again.]''

Dr. Ghastly: [yawns] Today is the big day. Okay, you enjoy your work. You like world domination.

''[Dr. Ghastly puts her hair up. She looks at the reflection in the mirror. She was happy at first, but turns bored.]''

Dr. Ghastly: Oh, who am I kidding?

''[She pulls down the lever. Her machine changes her into her scientist outfit.]''

Dr. Ghastly: I'd rather be working in fast food.

''[The scene changes to the soldiers brushing their teeth. Dr. Ghastly gargles some mouth wash. Skarr puts tablets of dental cleaners to clean his dentures. The soldiers are shaving their faces. Skarr shaves his back. Dr. Ghastly shaves her armpits. Then the soldiers do push-ups and clean themselves in the showers. Skarr takes out his ologne and sprays himself with it. Then everyone suits up into their uniforms and are ready to begin their day of invasion. The trumpets go off again. The soldiers march out as the drummers play. Dr. Ghastly teleports herself to the main field. General Skarr marches up to the stand and meets up with Dr. Ghastly. All of the soldiers are standing in straight lines, waiting for further orders.]''

Reginald Skarr: Attention!

''[The soldiers give their salute to Skarr. Then they wait for Hector Con Carne to come out. But after a few seconds, Dr. Ghastly notices that Hector is not showing up. She looks at the doors and sees no one is coming out.]''

Dr. Ghastly: Hey, where's the chief?

Reginald Skarr: Uh oh. He's never been late for an invasion before.

Dr. Ghastly: Where could he be?

Reginald Skarr: Maybe he's calling it off.

Dr. Ghastly: Are you nuts?! He's been playing in big New Zealand with a G.I. Jerk doll for two weeks solid! I'm telling you something's wrong.

Reginald Skarr: Hmm. I know! This is some kind of test. He'd love to see us screw up the invasion. He could be watching our every move. Just waiting for us to goof up.

''[The scene changes to various locations that are empty like the soldiers beds, the clothing machine, and the showers. Then the scene slides to Boscov's room where he is hibernating, much to Hector's dismay.]''

Hector Con Carne: Get up! No, you are not doing this! Not today! Will you wake up, you big fat imbecile?! We are late for morning inspection! Operation Z-Day! Ring a bell?! Boscov!!! [growls] Skarr! Ghastly! Get in here on the double! BOSCOV, WAKE UP!!!!!

''[The scene changes back to the main field, where everyone is still waiting for Hector. As they wait, many soldiers are starting to sweat and become bored. Dr. Ghastly yawns.]''

Reginald Skarr: Ahem!

''[Dr. Ghastly repositions herself. The scene changes back to Boscov sleeping, while Hector is still trying to wake him up.]''

Hector Con Carne: This is your supreme commander! I order someone to get me out of this stupid snow dome! Wake up, blast you!

''[The scene changes back to the main field. Everyone including Skarr and Ghastly are starting to get bored. Dr. Ghastly takes off her glove and it pours a waterfall of sweat out. It stops pouring, but she sakes it as it pours out some more sweat.]''

Hector Con Carne: Why today of all the days?!

''[Hector spins around in anger. Then the scene changes back outside as Skarr and Ghastly continue to sweat.]''

Reginald Skarr: [voiceover; sighs] There's no excuse for this. Just look at them. Those poor men. They need a new leader. A competent leader. Why do they not chant the name of Skarr I revolt?

Dr. Ghastly: [voiceover] Why am I the only woman at inspection? I'm a scientist. My job description doesn't include military drills, marching, doing dishes, or recharging electronic missiles.

''[Some of Ghastly's sweat rains down on one of the soldier's head. The scene changes back to Boscov's room.]''

Hector Con Carne: Wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! [growls] If only my body hadn't been destroyed, I wouldn't be stuck in this stupid bubble hat with you! [growls as he spins around in anger, turning his green liquid into red liquid] Listen, mister! There's a big difference between hibernation and dereliction of duty! This is unacceptable! [growls] Ah, hot! Too hot! Ah, ah! You're trying to boil me! Oh, why you! [his tank begins to bubble over and he coughs] I'm boiling alive! [coughs]

''[As Boscov sleeps, Hector's tank begins to steam. Boscov then dreams of Hector being toasted in a toaster shaped tank]''

Hector Con Carne: [screams] HELP ME!! AH, AH! WHY YOU! [screams] BOSCOV, WAKE UP! AH!

[The episode ends when Hector's tank is about to explode, leaving it with a cliffhanger.]