The Code




 * Are you guys having problems with the wi-fi as well?


 * I dunno, but I— I've been— been waiting for th— this video to load for ages.


 * What?


 * Sorry, we're so dependent on the Internet that our brains literally can't function without it.


 * So, do you have a problem with the wi-fi or not?


 * Well I— I— I—


 * Come on.


 * Sorry, I'm just really confused by dad.




 * Has thou fair imps encountered trouble with the sacred thread of communion?




 * I'm in character. I'm a dark elf. I was in the middle of a raid on a dwarf burial ground. So, do you have wi-fi or what?


 * No, the Internet's down.


 * I knew this day would come. Kids, there's something I have to tell you.


 * You're not my father?!


 * How did you guess?!




 * No. We've just been using Robinson's wi-fi for years.


 * That would explain why the network is called "Get off my lawn Watterson."


 * Yeah, well, when he asked me to set up his Internet, I kinda grabbed the opportunity to—


 * , & : Leech off it?


 * Mr. Dad, how could you?!


 * Easy! You just turn it on, choose a passcode and— Oh. You meant in a moral sense.


 * Well, Mr. Robinson must've finally got wise and changed the code. No problemo, we'll just get some wi-fi of our own!


 * Excuso little burrito, it's mucho problemo.




 * You see, we got bad credito. Why do you think we have a coin-operated fridge?




 * What are we gonna do without the Internet?!


 * Wait! I remember something. Something from a time long forgotten. A mystical repository of long lost knowledge. What the ancient people called...a booek.


 * Are you trying to say book?


 * Exactly! A byook.




 * Entertain me!




 * Hm. It's not touch-sensitive and it looks like a double keyboard with the letters all messed up.


 * What is wrong with you?! It's like you've only got one neuron left and you're using it for stupidity.


 * It's because we don't have to retain any knowledge! It's always readily available online.


 * Well I guess you'll just have to take what the Internet does and do it yourselves.


 * & : Hmm...




 * Dude! I think I found a way to reproduce the Elmoreflix experience. Now we can get back to looking at thumbnails for hours without actually watching anything.


 * Well in that case, you may also like...




 * What's that?


 * Your inbox.




 * Ah, cute. It's like the little e-mail icon.




 * "Hey, look who got stuck in a lawnchair!" He had to drive to the hospital to get it removed!




 * "Did you know that you copied Mr. Dad in your e-mail?" Oh no! How?






 * Hey, maybe you should just e-mail him to apologize.


 * Nah, this manual e-mail's way too complicated.


 * Yeah, much easier to bounce digital messages from server to server between interlinked computers. What about Mr. Dad though?




 * Did you get these pictures of that guy stuck in a lawnchair? What a fool!




 * You know what I miss most about the Internet?


 * Your royal Nigerian penpal?


 * Yeah, him too. But I meant playing online with other nice kids from all over the world.




 * Say cheese, 'cause you're about to get your head shot!


 * Oh yeah? Well I hope you like the taste of your own butt, because that's what you're getting handed for dinner!


 * Hey, have you ever noticed that if you say, I'm gonna "insert made-up verb" your "insert made-up noun," everything sounds like a really rude alien insult? Like, I'm gonna cybernize your thrusters.


 * I'm gonna galafret your tonatron.


 * I'm gonna cryptify your proto-eggs with this word.




 * "Xenopus." It's a type of frog. Scores thirty-two.


 * Meh, the insults are on point, but the gameplay is boring and the graphics are terrible.




 * Huh?




 * "I bought these ping pong balls two months ago and was shocked when they turned into small chickens. I have to say they don't function as well as the more common ping pong balls and it's very hard to give backspin to a chicken." What is this?




 * "Very disappointing. I purchased this sledhammer to enjoy the snowy slopes of Vermont and only managed to slide a couple inches. I would not purchase again." What the heck dollar sign at sign asterisk is going on here?!




 * "This tank is completely unsuitable for modern warfare. Though the glass panels provide a wide field of vision, I'm worried my fish will be exposed to enemy fire."




 * Dude, Larry's coming!


 * Nah, it's fine. The beauty of trolling is that you're anonymous.




 * You Wattersons are banned! Thank you for shopping at Food N' Stuff.


 * Don't worry. All I have to do is change my IP address.


 * How?


 * You reboot your router.




 * Did it work?


 * No, I still remember my name.




 * Maybe we just move on.




 * Gumball just checked into the cafeteria!


 * What are you doing?


 * Exactly what I do on Elmore Plus.


 * What, looking at people's pictures and being jealous of their lives?




 * What was that?


 * LMBO! Laughing My Butt Off?


 * You forgot the laughing bit.


 * Nah, no one really laughs on the Internet. They just go:




 * I am walking to a table! Hey, look at my food! Look at it, you like it?


 * You like my face? Hashtag no filter! Come on, gimme a thumbs up.




 * Dude, he doesn't have thumbs. I'll try something else.




 * This boy was diagnosed with a rare condition. One like equals one prayer. Ignore if you don't care about his pain.




 * Hm, maybe he's not online?


 * Let's poke him!




 * Look! I don't feel like g—


 * Dude, you have to type or we don't know what you're saying.


 * Look, I— I don't feel like goofing around today. My grandma's really sick.


 * Aww. I like that!


 * W-what do you mean, you like it?!


 * Sorry man, there is no button to express sympathy without having to do all that typing. I mean after all, we're only Elmore Plus friends.


 * That's it, I'm deleting you from my friends list! ...how do you delete someone in real life?


 * I suggest we run before he works it out.






 * What are you guys up to?


 * We're crowdfunding to pay for our own Internet.


 * I think you mean you're begging.


 * No, it's not begging if you offer perks.


 * What perks?


 * For one dollar, you get a verbal thank you.


 * For ten dollars, you get a smile and a warm feeling in your heart.


 * Yeah, that's begging.


 * Anais!


 * We really need that wi-fi back. Dad usually looks online for tips on raising kids, but now he has to improvise.




 * Mom said I have to take you to the park!


 * You're gonna have to hack Mr. Robinson to get the password.




 * How?


 * Ow! I left instructions for you!


 * Where?


 * Check your BoxDrop!




 * What's a BoxDro—






 * What is this place?


 * This is cyberspace, Darwin. Better switch to incognito mode so the cyberpolice can't trace us.




 * Who's that?


 * Probably a fellow hacker. We should greet him in a friendly fashion.




 * This is Robinson's house!




 * Access denied?! How do we get in?


 * Anais says we need to find a backdoor.




 * You gotta hand it to Mr. Robinson, he keeps a tidy desktop.


 * Look, he left a window open!




 * Almost there!




 * Ah! Do something!




 * Do something useful!


 * Oh, sorry.




 * Maximize the window!




 * It's not working! Oh, hold on.




 * Sorry buddy, should've known that clicking faster never works.




 * What's that?


 * The firewall!




 * Quick, we don't have much time before someone spots us!


 * What do we do?


 * We're gonna have to use a Trojan horse.




 * I have trouble seeing how this will save us from being detected.




 * The antivirus!


 * Where?


 * There!




 * Quick, let's hide in one of these folders!


 * We won't fit!


 * We can compress our files.




 * I think our files got corrupted.


 * What now?


 * Ctrl-Z!




 * Too far. Ctrl-Y!




 * Now for Anais' next step, we need to get Mr. Robinson to accept cookies.




 * Hm, nothing is happening.


 * Maybe 'cause he's in sleep mode.


 * Let's try a worm.




 * Guys! What are you doing?!




 * Hacking Mr. Robinson, like you said.


 * I meant hack his computer, not his face. What exactly have you been doing this whole time?




 * How do you do, good sir?




 * The antivirus!




 * Yeah, well you should have been more specific.


 * Let me in.




 * That's weird, he never changed his password. Wait a minute, the wi-fi isn't down. He's using all of it up with all these stupid toolbars!


 * Well, fix it then. Quick!




 * I need more time!


 * I got this. All I have to do is hack into the mainframe, adjust the power options, and put it to sleep.


 * What?




 * Oh, that was less stupid than I thought it was gonna be.






 * , & : Yay, the Internet is back!


 * We can get back to refusing invites from obscure relatives to play lame games on Elmore Plus!


 * Reposting someone's original content and pretending it's ours!


 * And correcting people's grammar in their Elmore Stream comments!




 * Anybody got a quarter for the electric meter?