A View From The Top

DONNA:

Every story starts somewhere.

And mine begins in a small town

called Silver Springs, Nevada.

My mother was an ex-show girl.

Emphasis on the "ex. "

There's my father.

He came by for the beer.

Whoa. Oh, my God.

Look at this.

Oh, my God!

Happy birthday, Donna

Whoa, whoa

I didn't get to blow out

my candles.

But I do remember my wish.

That I could get as far away

from Silver Springs

as possible.

Well, that didn't happen.

Come on, sweetie.

My mom, always optimistic,

was on her fourth

husband, Pete.

Come on, baby.

Come on.

RODNEY:

Ugh. What happened?

Rodney. His son.

No need for DNA testing

on that one.

I still had my mind

on a different life

beyond Silver Springs.

Then I met Tommy,

the high school quarterback.

Boy, was he a great kisser.

Together, I knew

we were going places.

He went as far as

assistant manager at Big Lots

and used his pull to get me a

job in the luggage department.

This is the best bag

money can buy. Bar none.

You've got the nylon twill

with DuPont protective coating.

This is the bag you use

when you fly?

Well...

I've actually never been

on an airplane,

but if I ever get to go on one,

this thing is gonna follow me

around like my own little dog.

My birthday came,

and I didn't have to make

the same old wish.

Tommy and I had found

our way out.

Hey. I caught you.

Donna. Hey.

I thought you didn't get off

till :.

I got Becky to cover for me.

Oh.

Oh!

Now that you're here...

Let me have the card.

No, no.

It's silly.

Just forget about it.

It's actually kind of corny.

Hey, I brought that dress

that you like.

Want to watch me change?

-No, hey, Donna.

-Ah!

Don't read that.

Come on.

I like things that are corny.

You're breaking up with me?

In a birthday card?

Why?

Well, they don't make

breaking-up cards.

[ Gasps ]

I thought that...

We had plans.

[ Sighs, groans ]

Donna, don't take this

the wrong way.

I decided to take

somebody else to Tucson.

Somebody else?

Yeah.

Linda from Lawn Chairs.

Actually, it's Brenda

in Barbecues.

Look, Donna,

you're a great girl.

Really, you are.

But with this promotion

and transfer to Tucson,

I just need to

shake things up a bit.

Business is business.

Come on, Donna.

Face it.

You're a small-town girl.

You belong here.

ANNOUNCER: We're back

with more "Pure Oxygen,"

talking to Sally Weston.

Can you tell our viewers

the moment you decided

to change your life?

I left my job at Big Lots

and thought about becoming

an alcoholic.

Just kidding.

[ Sighs ]

But then something happened.

There I was

with garbage in front of me.

The worst moment of my life.

I thought,

"What am I gonna do?"

For a second I was real scared.

Since I was a girl,

all I heard from people was,

"You are nothing.

Nothing is what you deserve."

But that night

something clicked.

And I just knew

I was worth something.

From a little girl

in West Texas

to the world's most famous

flight attendant.

Author of "My Life in the Sky."

Can we get a shot of that?

Motivational speaker.

I'm curious.

Why'd you pick flying?

No matter how much I love

that sleepy little town,

none of my dreams

were waiting down there.

They were waiting up there.

And frankly, people,

no matter where you're from,

no matter who people

think you are,

you can be whatever you want.

But you got to start right now.

Right this second, in fact.

But how?

You should start

by buying my book.

I agree.

But you can't have my copy.

"My Life in the Sky."

We'll be right back

with more "Pure Oxygen."

[ Tires screech ]

I took Sally's advice.

Sure, Sierra Airlines wasn't

the biggest and the best.

It was the smallest

and the absolute worst.

But everybody

has to start somewhere.

Donna, why do you want to be

a stewardess?

Well, for all

the travel opportunities.

And for the excitement.

We're a budget airline.

We fly from Laughlin to Fresno.

Once a week to Bakersfield.

We got five planes.

We fly gamblers and drunks.

Right.

I want to provide

those gamblers and drunks

with the best service

in the sky.

You're gonna love

the uniform.

Our motto is "Big hair,

short skirts,

and service with a smile."

Sir, please fasten

your seat belt.

[ Toilet flushes ]

You nervous?

I'm Sherry.

Donna.

Welcome to Sierra.

As much as you can today,

sweetie, just stick by me.

I hear we're full,

but it's a piece of cake.

Okay.

Okay, the overhead bins are

closed and the cabin is secure.

Good job.

I'll do the safety.

Go tell the captain we're ready.

Okay.

Welcome aboard Sierra Airlines

flight    to Fresno.

There are three emergency exits.

Captain, we are --

[ Snoring ]

Captain?

Is he all right?

Don't worry about him.

He'll be fine.

I'll poke him with a stick,

and he'll get at it.

If not, I'll give him

his blanky and...

take matters into my own hands.

Steve.

Steve Bench.

Call me Copilot Steve.

I'm Donna Jensen.

I'm a trainee.

You nervous, Donna?

Nah.

Well, yeah.

A little bit.

Well, don't worry.

I've had only two near-misses

and a couple of minor crashes.

I chalk it up to experience,

and I'm feeling better about it.

I'm joking.

I knew that.

If there's anything I can do,

you come up here. Okay?

Put your hands on your knees.

They don't want them

flailing about if we crash.

I'm gonna teach you

All about lovin'

Sit yourself down

and take a seat

All you gotta do

is repeat after me

A-B-C

Easy as - -

As simple as do-re-mi

A-B-C

- - baby,

you and me, girl

It's just like a roller coaster.

You ever been

on a plane before?

Well, yeah.

I mean, you know.

Sometimes it helps

if you don't look down.

[ Breathing heavily ]

I'm doing great.

[ Whirring loudly ]

Shit!

-It's just the wheels.

-We lost the wheels?

No, Donna. Relax.

[ Breathing heavily ]

I am relaxed!

[ Whimpers ]

Oh! Oh!

We're gonna crash!

Oh, my God!

We're gonna crash!

-Come back here!

-We're gonna crash!

We're gonna crash!

[ Screams ]

MAN:

Sit down!

[ Screaming continues ]

SHERRY:

Thank you. Fly with us again.

-Enjoy the sights.

-Thanks.

How you doing?

I was terrible.

I couldn't walk.

I spilled the coffee.

I totally freaked out

the passengers.

It wasn't exactly

a frozen lake up there.

Turbulence is tough.

You'll get the hang of it.

Am I gonna get fired?

-I'm gonna get fired.

-Nobody's getting fired.

Really.

You're gonna be a pro.

You're going places.

You think?

I'm a pilot. It's my job to know

where people are going.

One for you.

Put your seat

in the upright position.

Ma'am, would you put

your tray table up?

To fasten your seat belt,

insert the metal fitting.

Before long, I was flying

full-speed ahead.

I even got my own trainee.

Christine.

There wasn't a lot to do

on weekends.

There was always tanning

at Lake Havasu.

I can't believe your boyfriend

owns this whole houseboat.

If you don't marry him,

I am gonna kill you.

First of all, sweetie,

Herb ain't asked me.

Oh, my God!

What's wrong?

[ Laughs ]

My clasp broke.

There's some safety pins in

a shoebox in the bedroom closet.

CHRlSTlNE:

Go topless.

You are a very bad

influence on me.

Thank you.

[ Horn honks ]

[ Horn honking ]

SHERRY: Mmm-mmm.

Lake Patrol at :.

Hey, Sherry.

Herb around?

Don't know.

Might be inside.

What'd he do?

Take a leak in the lake?

The guy ran off with my

flare gun and never returned it.

Well, you have my permission

to teach that man a lesson.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, Ted, this is Christine.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Hey, let me know if you need

any backup.

I might take you up on that.

[ Clattering ]

-[ Grunts ] Freeze!

-[ Screams ]

I am so sorry.

I thought you were Herb.

Do I look like a Herb?

No, ma'am.

You look nothing like a Herb.

I'd appreciate it

if you could find it

in your heart to forgive me.

It's all right.

Who are you, anyway?

I'm no one.

I mean I'm Ted.

My name's Ted.

Well, Ted, I'm Donna.

You can uncover your eyes now.

It's nice to meet you, Donna.

My clasp broke.

I was looking for a safety pin.

Don't move.

Help is on the way.

Clasp, huh?

What are you gonna do

with those?

Turn, please.

[ Whistles ]

Okay.

You new around here?

Yeah.

I work with Sherry

down at Sierra.

Oh.

Uh-huh.

Okay. All set.

Thank you.

It was the least I can do.

Being that you're new

around here, I have to tell you

that it is my official duty

to give all newcomers

a special guided tour

on my boat.

-Oops.

-Oops. There you go.

Hey.

You mind if I come with?

Okay, sure. Yeah.

Suddenly

you're in this fight alone

[ Engine roaring ]

-Whoa!

-Whoa!

And the night's

the hardest time

When the doubts

run through your mind

'Cause suddenly

you find yourself

[ Engine shuts off ]

Beautiful, huh?

Thank you.

It really is.

Ted, would you oil my back?

Okay. Yeah.

-Thank you.

-Sure.

So, how'd you become

an officer of the law?

Oh, I'm not.

I'm a student.

A law student.

Or I was.

At Ohio State.

My family's from Cleveland.

Was?

Yeah, I quit my final semester.

And then I went bumming around

for a few months.

And now I'm here for a while.

Yeah, I quit high school.

Would you do

my shoulders for me?

Why'd you quit?

-Well, I was...

-I don't...

Everything was on track.

I was on my way to being

a big-shot attorney.

I had a hot law firm

all lined up.

And then I thought,

"What am I doing?

Is this what I want?"

My whole life was over

before it had begun.

I wanted to travel.

I wanted to see the world.

Eat, drink, enjoy myself.

And then I had this crazy idea

that I would look for the thing

that would make me most happy.

Would you mind

if I saw you next weekend?

-No, I swear, they do!

-[ Women giggling ]

Can you believe

we had to refuel here?

I mean, where are we?

Bedrock?

-What was the bathroom like?

-Awful.

-I love that lipstick.

-Chanel.

Remind me. As soon

as we get to New York...

I have to go straight

to Vuitton.

-Are those new earrings?

-The guy in Rome.

The guy in London.

Thank God we're out of here.

I think I need to take

a flea dip.

[ Laughter ]

We better go.

Don't forget you wanted to go

to the gift shop

and get a Toblerone.

Right.

You know what?

What?

We are as good as they are.

-We are?

-We are?

We don't have to spend our lives

working at Sierra

for some weaselly ex-bookie.

You know,

I once worked for Pan Am.

Three whole months.

Uniforms were natural fiber.

What happened?

They went bust.

So you started working

for Sierra?

I needed a job.

Nobody else was hiring.

Well, they're hiring now.

Royalty Airlines job fair.

This weekend at the

Marriot Hotel in San Francisco.

You guys,

this could be so good.

Who's in?

Oh, oh

Livin' on a prayer

Take my hand

We can make it, I swear

Oh, oh

Livin' on a prayer

Ohhh, we're halfway there

Oh, Oh

Livin' on a prayer

Take my hand

We'll make it, I swear

Oh, Oh

Livin' on a prayer

WOMAN:

This is our brochure.

If you have any questions,

feel free to ask.

"No person may serve

as a flight attendant

unless that person

has demonstrated

to the pilot in command

familiarity with

the necessary functions

to be performed in --"

Oh, my God.

You dot your l's

with little hearts?

That's so cute.

Yeah, well,

it's my trademark.

That and my hickeys.

Well, a girl's got to have

a skill.

I was excited to be interviewed

by the legendary John Whitney.

He had been with Royalty

a long time.

Hi.

I'm John Whitney.

Maybe a little too long.

This one.

Head of the Royalty flight-

attendant trainee program.

T ell me, why do you want to work

for Royalty Airlines?

I believe that I have a lot

to offer your airline.

Because the planes are...

They're so much bigger.

Oh. My gum.

Why do you want to work

for Royalty Airlines?

Oh, well...

[ Chuckles ]

I've got a lot of answers.

I just got to think

of the right one.

Take your time.

Collect. Gather. Go.

Because I'm organized

and efficient.

I worked for Sierra Airlines,

you know.

I put that down there.

Yeah, right above Hooters.

Hooters.

Right. Oh, yes.

If there is a task,

I will not stop

until I have completed it

perfectly.

Did I say "organized"?

-Got a question for you.

-Okay.

What's your tolerance level

for pain?

Physical pain.

Like, sexual pain?

Would you consider yourself

a people person?

Oh, definitely.

Big people person.

-Not just big people.

-Not just giants.

-You got it.

-Okay.

To learn and to follow through

with all the tasks.

I'm just gonna say a few words.

-Okay.

-Okay.

Didgeridoo.

Scooby Doo-Doo.

Tectonic plates.

Tectonic plates.

Dishware.

-Do you handle surprises well?

-[ Both laugh ]

Do you handle surprises well?

[ Both laugh ]

I scared you, didn't l?

No, no.

It has always been my dream

to work for the best.

And I think you guys

are the best.

That's just terrific.

You're terrific, how about?

No. This one.

It's called strabismus.

There's no business

like "strobusiness."

I get to make jokes.

Does anything frighten you?

Oh, you mean the eye?

I didn't notice.

Oh, my God.

You're kidding.

That's the way

the cookie crumbles.

But this is so unfair.

You're a better flight attendant

than we'll ever be.

I'll be fine.

I been thinking about

quitting anyway.

I'm sure gonna miss you guys.

We're gonna miss you, too.

Study hard.

And make me proud.

Congratulations

to Donna Jensen.

Getting into

the Royalty Learning Center.

[ Sighs ]

I'm nervous.

People say it's really hard.

A lot of people don't make it

past the first two weeks.

I don't want to be one of them.

Are you kidding me?

They would have never

picked you

unless they thought

you could handle it.

You're smart. You're beautiful.

You're charming.

You're gonna do great.

Wow!

You give one hell of a pep talk.

I got a lot of that back home.

My parents are big cheerleaders.

Sally always says that the

greatest asset somebody can have

is having people

who believe in them.

Who's Sally?

Your aunt?

She's kind of like a friend.

[ Donna laughing ]

-Oh.

-Yeah.

Oh, you know, we're gonna have

a little goodbye party

Friday night

from :   to whenever.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm probably

not gonna make it.

Why not?

I can be happy for you

that you're leaving for an hour.

But :   till whenever,

the smile won't last.

Yeah, our timing is

kind of terrible, huh?

I had a really good time,

and I was hoping you'd be a jerk

so I wouldn't feel like I was

missing out by moving to Texas.

Well, I'm parked out there.

Yeah, I'm...

Right.

So...

[ Sighs ]

The only kiss we got here

is a goodbye kiss,

which, as kisses go,

not my favorite.

So...

[ Clears throat ]

-Goodbye, Donna Jensen.

-Bye.

Good luck in school.

Oh, thank you.

Don't run with scissors.

Why can't all choices

be simple?

Why can't they all be

window or aisle?

Coffee or tea?

Not career or romance.

JOHN:

B. That's a fun one.

Now take off.

[ Laughs ]

-Hi.

-Hi.

I'm John Whitney.

Head of the Royalty flight-

attendant trainee program.

Welcome and

congratulations, Dana.

It's Donna.

Sure. Okay.

Good to see you, Mary.

It's Christine, actually.

Sure. Okay. Great.

What we have here is your

Royalty Airlines amenities kit

containing airport codes

and regulation manuals,

your registration packet,

campus rules,

and information

about our mentor program.

Yeah.

You two will be staying

in dorm C.

That's a fun one. Yeah.

Questions?

None. Good.

All right.

Take off.

-Hi.

-Hi, Cindy.

-Oh, my God.

-Janette.

Sure. Okay.

Sally Weston is a mentor?

Sally Weston!

So, who is this

Sally Weston person, anyway?

Who is Sally Weston?

Only the author

of "My Life in the Sky."

Hmm.

Sally Weston represents

an ideal

of poise and beauty

and accomplishment

that every flight attendant

should strive to achieve.

Oh, I like her hair.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Yes, this is she.

We'd love to.

Oh, my God.

Would you like to ride

in my beautiful balloon?

Would you like to ride

in my beautiful balloon?

We could float

among the stars together

You and I

For we can fly

Up-up and away

Howdy!

Welcome aboard!

ALL: Howdy!

More white wine, girls?

ALL: Yes, please.

Oh, I'm sorry.

How about you, Randy?

Just consider me

one of the girls, Mr. W.

This is a really big house

you have, Mrs. Weston.

Thank you.

Jack built it.

Along with the rest

of Rancho Esmeralda community.

-The whole thing?

-With my bare hands.

How did you all meet?

Oh, that is a cute story.

Jack was flying to Maui to build

the Kaanapali Towers resort.

I was serving him.

This was first-class.

He must have pushed

that call button   times.

"More warm nuts.

More warm nuts."

No man alive could eat

that many warm nuts.

So then,

when I saw this huge pile

of warm nuts under his seat,

it hit me.

It wasn't the nuts he wanted.

It was me!

ALL: Oh!

Where have you been

all my life, Mr. Man?

What was it like, Mrs. Weston,

when you started flying?

Sally, please.

Oh, it was wonderful.

The exotic cities.

Yeah, I hear all those

Europe guys are uncircumcised.

Nope. Not all.

So, is it difficult to get

those international routes?

-You have to have seniority.

-Should I apply now?

And even then, you have to

speak several languages

and serve impeccably.

Oh, but it was worth it.

It was different then.

People dressed for flights.

It was like every night

going to the opera.

Every night was...

Magic.

-Oh!

-[ Laughs ]

-You scared me.

-Sorry.

There's something

I want to show you.

This is all yours?

You bet.

It's everything I wanted.

You can have everything you

want, too, if you stay focused.

Follow your head,

not your heart.

What do you mean?

I sense something in you, Donna.

Something special.

What is it?

Hunger.

You do?

Mm-hmm.

I had it myself.

I wanted Paris.

First-class international.

And nothing less.

So today this is all mine.

You're just like me, Donna.

My old uniform.

Oh, that is so beautiful.

Well, of course it is.

We're Royalty.

Oh, it suits you.

Feel the fabric.

It's so...

Soft?

And luxurious?

Paris.

First-class international.

Donna, say it.

Paris.

First-class international.

It's the only road

to happiness.

Paris.

First-class international.

It's your destiny.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Ten-hut!

At ease.

[ Chuckles ]

Welcome aboard.

You should all be very,

very proud.

The simple fact

that you're here

at the Royalty Learning Center

means you've joined

a very special family.

The Royal...ty family.

Our first goal

here at Royalty Airlines

is to bring back the style

and the glamour

to the art of flying.

In the coming weeks,

I'll impart to you

the necessary hands-on training

for you to function

at the highest level.

Up there.

But don't expect an easy road.

[ Laughing ]

No, no, no.

An easy road -- comma --

don't expect one.

I will not hold your hand.

I'm not even gonna touch it.

[ Laughter ]

Now, what I want all of you

to do is to stand up.

Come on. Let's go.

Stand up.

And I want you to look

underneath your seat. Go ahead.

Taped to the bottom,

each of you will find a $ bill.

Now, what did we learn

from this exercise?

We learned you have to get off

your ass to make a buck.

[ Laughter ]

Down.

[ Chuckling ]

Thank you.

Now, we don't actually learn

to make bucks here,

but we do learn

to treat our passengers...

...Iike royalty.

Yeah.

So, shall we get started?

[ Buzzer ]

There's an oxygen mask

up above you...

ALL:

On a hidden shelf.

Before helping the people

who love you,

put it on yourself.

-Excuse me, miss.

-Yes?

This is first class.

I want my hand towels.

I want my little booties.

And I want my warm nuts!

Warm nuts.

Here you go.

You call these warm nuts?

I've felt warmer nuts

on a polar bear!

-Stop it!

-[ Woman gasps ]

No.

What did we learn here?

Upon encountering a DP,

or a disgruntled passenger,

take the following steps.

"A" -- Listen.

Two -- Acknowledge.

And "C" -- Explain.

And on a more personal note,

I have actually felt

a polar bear's nuts. Yeah.

Quite toasty warm.

[ Buzzer ]

Get those masks on!

Louder!

[ Muffled ] There's

an oxygen mask up above you

on a hidden shelf.

Before helping the people

who love you...

JOHN:

We learned to keep our heads,

to stay calm, and to not get

freaked out, okay?

Just remember

the H.A.L.T. principle.

Disgruntled passengers are

hungry, angry, lonely, tired,

and have a skewed vision

of the world.

Okay.

So that's H.A.L.T.S.

Hungry, angry, lonely, tired,

skewed vision.

H.A.L.T.S.V.W.

Go!

"Asses the window --"

Okay. Stop.

CHRlSTlNE: What?

It's assess the window.

Not "asses" the window.

You put the wrong em-phasis

on the wrong syl-lable.

...with a skewed world view,

so really,

it's V.I.C.T.I.M.S.W.V.

But you get my point.

Assess the window!

Is it good to go?

Drop! Drop!

Remove your shoes!

Don't take anything with you!

Whoa! Yes.

Eleven seconds!

The trainee record!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Mumbling ]

What's the matter?

Who am I kidding?

I'm never gonna fly a.

Headed right

for Royalty Express.

Probably wind up in Cleveland.

Christine, stop being so hard

on yourself.

-You just have to concentrate.

-That's easy for you to say.

You're headed for New York

and London.

I am not smarter than you, okay?

Who cares, anyway,

what to do in a water landing?

They don't land

in the damn water.

They crash.

People always say that

everyone's good at something.

That everyone has

some sort of hidden skill.

What if I don't?

What if there's nothing

that I'm good at?

What about your hickeys?

Yeah.

Oh. Come on.

Would you stop

beating yourself up?

You are gonna get through this.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Dry those little eyes.

Where'd you get these?

Oh, from Sally Weston's house.

There's a whole bunch of them.

Aren't they cool?

You stole them?

No.

They're guest soap.

We were guests.

They were there for us.

Yeah, to use, you know?

Not to take.

Come on.

Everybody does it.

It's no big deal.

Excuse me.

Didn't you read chapter ?

-Chapter.

-Employment and ethics.

If you get caught

stealing anything,

you will get fired like that.

You're not mad at me, are you?

No.

Yes!

[ Bell rings ]

Time's up.

Pencils down.

Books closed.

Remember to write

your identification number

on the front of the exam booklet

and pass it forward.

So, how'd you do?

New York, here I come.

[ Applause ]

SALLY:

Thank you.

Thanks so much for listening.

Thank you.

Can I get my picture with you?

I would love that.

Where do you want to do it?

-Okay.

-Can you get the "R" in it?

Say "Royalty."

Repeat after me.

First-class international.

DONNA:

First-class international.

WOMAN: Cincinnati.

That's not that bad.

MAN:

Miami! I got Miami!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

I can't believe it!

[ Cheering, laughter ]

Hey, Donna!

I got New York.

[ Laughs ]

There must be some mistake.

Ms. Jensen, try and take this

news with the poise and grace

that one associates

with Royalty Airlines.

We expect our employees to

behave in a professional manner

and to handle setbacks

with integrity.

Screw integrity!

I am not going back to commuter!

DONNA:

Oh, my God.

I can't believe

this is happening.

This cannot be happening.

JOHN: Royalty Express,

although commuter,

is still a member

of the Royalty family, okay?

It's not my destiny.

I want my destiny.

Well, I'm sorry.

But you'll be eligible

to reapply after one year.

One year?

I was the best in my class.

You were there.

I've seen it a hundred times.

You peaked too soon.

I don't understand.

How do I explain this?

You're what we

in the trainee business call

a "peak-too-sooner."

Yeah.

It happens.

I aced that test.

I want to see it.

-That's not procedure.

-Call Sally Weston.

-She'll tell you.

-Sally Weston.

Although an excellent mentor,

she has no authority

in these matters.

-That is bullshit.

-Want to know what's bullshit?

Eye exams!

That's what's bullshit!

I wanted my destiny, too,

you know!

I wanted to be

a flight attendant, but no!

There's a shit stick out there

called procedure, Ms. Jensen!

And I'm here to tell you

that everyone gets hit

with the shit stick!

Eye exam! Eye exam!

Eye exam!

[ Breathing heavily ]

Forgive me.

[ Chuckles ]

Dr. Tim at the center says

when I get like this,

I need to refocus.

So just give me a second, okay?

[ Bell rings ]

[ Chanting softly ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

Better. Okay.

Look, you can fly

Royalty Express for a year,

or you can leave the airline.

Where am I going?

Let me have a look here.

Welcome to Cleveland

Hopkins lnternational Airport.

Remain seated until the aircraft

has come to a complete stop

and the captain has turned off

the "fasten seat belt" sign.

We know you have a choice

when you travel.

We thank you for choosing

Royalty Express.

I don't know if I mentioned it.

I'm glad I'm working with you.

In Cleveland!

Don't you love it?

Terminal Tower.

Lake Erie.

It's like Paris,

except everybody speaks English

and they're   pounds

overweight.

We are gonna look so thin.

WOMAN: When you meet someone

in the daytime,

you can greet them with

"Bonjour!"

DONNA: Bonjour!

-Bonjour!

-Bonjour!

If you are talking to a man,

you usually add "monsieur. "

Bonjour, monsieur.

Bonjour, monsieur.

-Bonjour, monsieur.

-Bonjour, monsieur.

Good afternoon.

Welcome aboard

Royalty Express flight.

Two in the rear

and two in the front.

-Cheese sandwich for you?

-Thanks.

Cheese.

We have one cheese left.

-Bologna or cheese?

-Whatever.

Can I take this chair?

Sure.

-Hey!

-What?

You told me to take it.

Ted!

Hey, Donna.

Oh, my God!

I'm great.

Oh. You didn't ask me

how I was.

No, but now that you told me.

What are you doing

in Cleveland?

I live here.

Around the corner. Yeah.

This is Royalty's hub.

Well, express.

You're kidding.

MARY: Ted.

Oh, one sec.

That's my partner, Mary.

Hello.

Hi.

Wow.

She's pretty.

Oh, no.

My school partner.

Oh.

I'm in law school.

Oh, my God!

That is so great.

It's unbelievable, huh?

So I've got one year

in Cleveland.

Then I can reapply.

I've been here for six weeks,

and it's not so bad.

Well, you're basically

halfway there

if you're just really,

really bad at math.

So, why'd you go back

to law school?

I had dinner

with this incredible woman

who was charging after

her dreams and not hiding out.

I thought to myself,

"l could do that."

So I'm here now for a year.

It's flying by.

I really miss my family,

which is uncool.

So please don't tell anybody

I told you.

I promise.

Okay, here's how I look at it.

Cleveland is like this

great, big, giant waiting room.

All we have to do

is put in our year

and somebody's gonna call

our name.

Cleveland's like this great,

big dentist's office,

and we're next on the list.

Exactly.

Now all we have to do

is think about something

to occupy our time.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

For once in my life,

I have someone who needs me

Someone I've needed so long

For once, unafraid,

I can go where life leads me

Somehow

I know I'll be strong

For once, I can touch

What my heart

used to dream of

Sometimes, just when

you brace yourself

for a really bumpy flight,

it's amazing how the skies

can suddenly clear.

But between my busy schedule

and the extra job Ted took

to pay for school,

I spent too many nights

ordering pizza

and watching TNT.

[ Knock on door ]

Just a minute.

Small cheese pizza

with everything.

$ even.

Just call me a sucker

for a man in uniform.

I cannot believe

we got this route.

Oh, my God.

A real business class?

[ Laughs ]

And guess what I get to do

in half an hour.

-Bake cookies.

-Oh, my God.

You are so not

Royalty Express material.

I can't believe on a test

you're as bad as me.

You studied like crazy.

Get out of here.

The more I think

about that test,

the more convinced I am

that something got screwed up.

I might hire a lawyer

to check into it.

Hey, you could help me out

with that.

I'm not a lawyer.

Well, you're gonna be.

You think so, huh?

Mm-hmm.

How is it that

you believe in me so much?

-Somebody's got to.

-[ Chuckles ]

Check out B.

Isn't he cute?

Aside from the headphone hair.

When I asked him to put his tray

in its upright position,

he said, "That too?"

I mean, hello.

And those arms.

My God.

He's like something

out of "Men's Health."

Well, I'll root for you

even though it's against policy.

You rat me out and I'll stop

letting you do my paperwork.

All I want is a little

of what you've got with Ted.

Oh, God.

He is great.

Did I tell you he wants me to

meet his family for Christmas?

And that's bad news why?

For me, anything that ever

has to do with family

is always bad news.

Please.

Don't make me cry.

The thing is, Randy,

I've always been this girl

from Silver Springs

that everybody's said,

"You're never gonna do anything,

never gonna get out of here."

I just worry that

if I fall in love with Ted,

what's gonna happen

to everything I've worked

so hard for?

Okay. Fine.

Don't fall in love with him.

That's kind of why

I'm having the problem.

It just takes willpower.

You didn't fall in love

with me, did you?

You're gay.

But it still took willpower,

didn't it?

Thanks, Donna.

MR. STEWART:

Come over here, Justin.

Okay. Who's next?

TED: Grandma!

-It's from me and Ted.

-What?

[ Shouting ]

She can't hear very well!

It's from Donna and me!

Thank you, dear.

What is it?

It's an all-in-one

remote control!

Now you don't have to fuss

with all those gadgets anymore!

Thank you, dear.

Oh, Merry Christmas, Ted.

Thank you, Donna.

Now it's your turn.

You said we weren't

gonna do presents.

Just open it.

He said we weren't

gonna do presents.

TED:

I said that.

-Oh, my God.

-What do you think?

-You like it?

-It's so beautiful.

It has two time zones.

If a passenger asks you

what time it is,

you can think about me.

[ Laughs ]

I love it.

MR. STEWART:

She's a great gal.

I think so.

Oh, you're not out

of the woods yet, Donna.

You got one more present.

-From all of us.

-[ Laughter ]

It's the annual

Stewart family uniform!

[ Laughter ]

I got you a medium.

-I hope you like it baggy.

-Thank you.

Time for the team photo!

Everybody get over by Grandma.

-Come on, Donna.

-Jensen, get in here.

It's a family picture.

Oh, no, Donna.

Don't be shy.

Come on, Donna.

-It's flashing.

-Quick!

TED:

Quick. Smile.

ALL: Cheese.

Well, you survived your first

Stewart family Christmas.

It was good.

I never knew a family

could be like that.

No fighting.

No yelling.

Normally, that "everyone

dressing the same" thing

would kind of freak me out.

But I even like

that dorky red sweater.

Is that all that's going on

in that head of yours?

I'm just not used to all that,

you know?

Dan.

Hi, Donna.

How's life treating you?

All right. I want to get

a confirmation for tomorrow.

Sure.

[ Typing ]

We got you going to Pittsburgh

on flight    at.

Any chance of that Dallas route

opening up?

Let me have a look.

Sorry.

Nothing yet.

All right.

Well, thank you.

Have a good trip, Donna.

Oh, my God.

Christine?

Donna!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

What are you doing

in Cleveland?

My New York-L.A. flight had

mechanical problems,

so they dumped us here

for the night.

Oh, right.

God.

Look at your hair.

Oh, yeah, I know.

I'm going for

a more classic look.

Goes better with Chanel.

Right.

I have the sweetest little

apartment on West  rd Street.

Oh, you would be

so proud of me.

You know what, Ted?

If it wasn't for Donna,

I would've never made it

through basic training.

Oh, now,

that's not really true.

It is.

Actually, just last week,

I was thinking about

how well you trained me.

I was on the New York-to-Chicago

flight, right?

This guy gets on.

He has this huge musical case.

He's trying to stuff it

into the overhead compartment.

Clearly the thing is too big.

He refuses to check it.

So I thought, "What would

Donna do right now?"

So I politely said to him,

"Either you check it

or you deplane."

That's not what I would do.

What do you mean?

Well, you must,

as a flight attendant,

offer the option of buying

another seat at half price

for that oversized item.

It's section.

of the manual.

Well, I can't remember

everything.

[ Laughs ]

But you should've

remembered that one.

It was the last question

on our exam.

Say, Christine, do you have

any of those little wings?

My nephew's been begging me

for some.

They don't have them

on express.

Let me look.

Let's see

what we've got in here.

Whoa.

[ Clears throat ]

Oh, I love these.

Love it, love it.

I have so much garbage in here.

Ah. Here we go.

Future pilot.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

There.

We could do shots

if you want to.

Let's do shots.

Want to?

SALLY: Paris.

First-class international.

Paris.

First-class international.

[ Airplane engines roaring ]

I think I'm doing very well

at express.

But I just can't

stop thinking there was

some kind of mix-up

with my test.

Some kind

of computer malfunction.

Those things mess up.

They lose luggage or send bags

to the wrong city.

I'm afraid that's impossible.

The tests are hand-graded.

Oh, right.

I forgot about that.

I'm sorry.

I'm sure there's nothing

you can do anyway.

Who says

there is nothing I can do?

I am Sally Weston.

I invented this.

Before me, they just pointed.

True story.

Wow.

I did speak to John.

I asked him

if I could see my test.

I begged him.

He said no.

I asked him if you could see

the test, and he said no.

Don't you worry about John.

Did you see me on "Oprah"?

I scared the hell out of that

little wiener Dr. Phil.

It's test.

Hello.

It's Sally Weston.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

What is it, Donna?

This isn't my test.

It's my number.

It's number.

But it isn't mine.

Look at those little hearts.

Time's up.

Pencils down. Books closed.

Remember to write

your identification number

on the front of the exam booklet

and pass it forward.

So, how'd you do?

New York, here I come.

I can't believe it.

I trusted her.

She was my best friend.

Oh, my God.

These answers.

No wonder we sent you

to express.

We were being nice.

I can't believe

she'd steal my test!

Wait a minute.

That night I had you kids

over for dinner,

someone took my airplane soaps.

Oh, my God.

She is probably

stealing us blind.

Hell, I'll bet she's got

a whole closetful

of airline property.

Headsets. Booze.

Kosher meals.

There's two things

we've got to do.

We got to get you retested.

There's a group next week.

If you do as well as I think,

we can reassign you right away.

How soon can you leave

Cleveland?

I'd just have to talk to Ted.

Who's Ted?

This really great guy

that I'm seeing.

Oh.

Well, I'm afraid you've got

a decision to make.

Yeah.

Well, what would you do?

Well, I know what I did.

And so do you,

if you read my book.

But, honey, it's your life.

It's your decision.

Right.

Well, I'll call you later.

I've got a flight

back to Cleveland at :.

You said there were two things.

I'll take care of that.

Just skedaddle.

Don't miss that flight.

Okay. Thanks.

WOMAN:

Royalty Airlines.

Hello.

Internal security, please.

MAN:

Security.

This is Sally Weston.

I'm calling to report a code

blue for Christine Montgomery.

Put a ghost rider

on her next flight.

If you see any violations,

I want that klepto picked up

as soon as the plane

hits pavement.

-Miss Montgomery?

-Yeah?

I have to ask you

to come with me.

Why? Who are you?

Royalty Security.

Please step this way.

[ Horn honks ]

Hey, Jensen!

You were right.

I can't believe it.

I'm top of my class.

Oh, my God.

Ted, that is so great.

So get your damn coat on,

Jensen.

We're going out to celebrate.

I have to talk to you.

I flew to Dallas today.

Christine stole my test.

You're kidding.

So they're gonna retest me.

Wow.

That's great.

When are they doing that?

I got to leave right away.

Okay. Sure.

No problem.

We'll celebrate

when you get back.

The thing is,

if I do well on the test,

I might not be back.

I could get placed

in New York.

That's it?

We don't talk about it?

I come home.

You're leaving?

Well, we've always said

that Cleveland is

just a big waiting room.

For me, the waiting room was

my life until I met you.

I'm in love with you.

I can't let somebody tell me

that I've seen enough.

Not again.

Got it.

Point taken.

I hated leaving Ted.

Ted made me feel

like I'd finally found home.

The problem was, I wasn't

so sure I was ready to be home.

[ Bell rings ]

Time's up.

Pencils down.

Books closed.

Be sure to put

your identification number

on the front of the exam booklet

and pass it forward.

Well, well.

Congratulations.

I just want you to know

that I was against

this retesting at this time.

That's not procedure.

But apparently,

Miss Sally Weston doesn't have

the same respect for procedure

some of us have had to.

So you'll be happy to know

you got a perfect score.

First time in seven years.

The last time was me.

So I imagine you'll have fun.

Up there.

Living out your destiny.

Must be nice.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Mr. Whitney,

I just want you to know

I couldn't have done this

without you.

Yeah, right.

I mean it.

You are an excellent instructor.

I am?

Yes.

That's the nicest damn thing

anyone's ever said to me.

I'd say we're both

living our destiny.

You do it, Donna Jensen.

You do it for those of us

that can't.

I will.

Thatagirl.

Now you get out of here.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, and, Donna.

Fly away.

It's a long way

out the gate

Just to glimpse your fate

Just to see

whether it all works out

And it's a long road,

a heavy load

You got to really wanna go

And just let the others

walk around you, now

Up and down again,

but this time, it's different

It took some bleeding

to straighten me up again

Oh, in and out of life

At times, it was difficult

I got a new life, baby

It takes some

getting used to, but

No sign of any rain

My skies are clear today

I keep bracing

for that rain

But there's no sign of any

No obstacles in sight

My skies are clear tonight

I keep thinking

I might see that cloud arrive

Oh, but there's no sign

of it

No, no sign of it

I got a new life, baby

It takes some

getting used to, but

No sign of it

No, no sign of it

Donna.

Christine.

-Hi.

-God.

Did you hear the bad news?

What?

I got fired.

Busted for stealing.

Yeah.

So I just wanted to come here

and say goodbye.

Donna.

[ Exhales deeply ]

You know, isn't it amazing

how there was a ghost rider

on my flight?

Well...

And another thing.

I just can't help wondering.

How does someone go

from Royalty Express

to lnternational in such

a short period of time?

[ Breathes deeply ]

Excuse me, Christine.

I had you figured out

from day one, Donna.

What did you say?

You just couldn't stand the fact

that I was prettier than you.

That I was more fun than you.

That everyone loved me.

All I did

was try to help you out.

And you stabbed me in the back.

I never stabbed you

in the back, Donna.

You switched our exams.

Well, if you're gonna nitpick.

And you left me rotting

in Cleveland

while you went

and dotted your l's

with those tacky, little hearts

in New York City.

Someone had to put you

in your place.

Little miss perfect.

"Oh, excellent, Donna."

"Way to go, Donna."

"ls it hard to get international

lines, Mrs. Weston?"

Throwing yourself

all over that stupid Ted.

You know what?

You make me sick.

Leave Ted out of this.

Just because you're pissed off

that he wanted me and not you.

Get your hands off me.

Oh, I'm scared, Donna.

What are you gonna do,

throw one of your books at me?

Don't you walk away from me.

[ Grunting ]

Ow!

Good Lord.

Out of the way, please.

Get her leg.

[ Grunting ]

You know what?

You got that fancy uniform

and that [Spits] $  haircut!

But I see right through you!

Right to the inside!

Welcome aboard.

-Champagne or caviar?

-Nothing for me. Thanks.

Sir, champagne or caviar?

I'm fine.

Thank you.

Would you care for

some champagne or caviar?

No, thank you.

I would like a vodka

straight up, though.

Champagne and caviar.

Extra-wide seats.

And no bologna or cheese.

This was first class.

Bonne journee, madame.

[ T elephone rings ]

Hello?

Bonjour.

Donna?

I'm in Paris.

Well, good for you.

I knew you'd get there.

Can I pick 'em

or can I pick 'em?

Rudolph, you're not tenderizing

meat, for God's sake!

I really wanted to say

thank you.

Well, don't spend all day

on the phone.

Go out and see the city.

[ Woman singing in French ]

What was I gonna write?

"I love you but I left you"?

I'll just start with,

"Paris is beautiful. "

[ Man speaking French ]

[ Speaking French ]

Miss, thank you very much.

As soon as everyone takes

their seats,

we'll be ready to leave

the gate.

[ Shouting in French ]

[ Speaking French ]

If we're going to be late,

I have to make a call.

[ Man speaking French ]

Oui, oui.

-Oh!

-[ Gasps ]

-Oh, monsieur!

-Oh! Oh!

-[ Speaking French ]

-Oh! Oh!

Thank you.

Good morning.

[ Answering machine beeps ]

This is a call for Donna Jensen.

This is Jim Donahue with Royalty

lnternational scheduling.

You're on for tomorrow.



[ Beep ]

Donna, it's Joan

with Royalty lnternational.

Your schedule has been changed.

You're headed to Lisbon

on flight    at      hours.

-You'll be back...

-[ Beep ]

You'll be on flight   ...

[ Beep ]

Donna, Jim Donahue.

[ Beep ]

Hi, Donna.

This is Joan with Royalty.

You're flying to Stockholm

via London.

That's in two weeks.

Flight    with Captain Hanson.

[ Beep ]

Hi, Donna.

It's Paige.

I know you just got back

from Geneva.

How about a quick trip

to Brooklyn?

We're having our Christmas

open house tonight.

Please come.

It'll be fun.

Some of the other girls

are gonna be there.

Call me, okay?

Donna!

-Hi.

-Hey.

I'm so glad you came.

-Thanks for having me.

-Come on in.

Oh, my.

That looks so good.

Thank you so much.

Donna, you got to get in there

and start mingling

with some of the straight guys.

We had them shipped in here

especially for you

from Jim's work.

Oh, thank you.

God, you look really nice.

Are you serious?

Man, I'm so beat.

I really need this rest.

Well, I think you look great.

-[ Telephone rings ]

-Oh, shoot.

Can you just give them

the address?

Clinton.

Clinton and Pierpont.

Hello?

Oh, Bob.

It's Donna Jensen.

Oh, when do you need her?

Really? Tomorrow?

But that's Christmas Eve.

You know what?

I'll take it.

Yeah, I could really use

the shift.

Christmas in Paris?

It's a dream.

Okay.

I'll see you there.

Was that Kim and Nancy?

Are you happy with

your long-distance carrier?

-I said you were.

-Can you believe them?

I guess they just figure

everyone's home.

Will you pose for photos?

So I'm waiting by the phone

For the blessed ring

Like a holy grail

For the Fisher King

Time is ticking down

Like a metronome

Rhythm for my brain

And its ceaseless games

I never seem to play them

to the beat I hear

Though my heartbeat

is a beat that beats so near

So I'm changing who I am

'Cause what I am's not good

And I know you love me now

Is that Donna Jensen?

[ Laughs ]

Sally!

What are you doing here?

We're creatures of habit.

Jack and l.

We have Christmas in Paris.

New Year's in New York.

Wow. How exciting.

Really not.

Were you here

for Christmas, too?

Yes, I was.

Gosh.

The Champs-Elysees

and the lights.

I loved it.

Did I ever tell you

about a nasty habit

flight attendants

pick up on the job?

No.

We learn to always keep smiling.

Even when we're out

of Bloody Mary mix.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Do you remember that guy

I was telling you about? Ted.

Of course.

Oh, I just really miss him.

That's all.

Well, what's the problem?

Go fly and see him.

Well, I can't.

I took your advice,

and we broke up.

My advice?

Well, sort of.

In your book, you say,

"Don't ever let anything get

in the way of your destiny."

Darling, I don't think

you read carefully enough.

What I also said was that

every pilot needs a copilot.

And it is awful nice

to have someone

sitting there beside you.

Especially when you hit

some bumpy air.

Oh, I just really miss him.

I just wish

I could get him back.

The last time I checked,

you were a girl

who could make things happen.

So stop feeling sorry

for yourself.

And stop worrying

about what he'll say.

You're right.

I'm gonna do it.

All right.

But we have to move fast.

There is a :   p.m. direct

from Paris to Chicago.

If you got the last connection

out of O'Hare,

that would put you

into Cleveland in...

BOTH:

hours.

Who am I gonna get

to cover my shift?

Are you kidding?

I still give

the best oxygen-mask demo

in the business.

Get going.

Pierre, I need a uniform

tout de suite.

Welcome to New York, where

the local time is :   a.m.

I'd like to personally thank you

for flying with us today

and remind you that the last one

off the plane has to clean it.

Lying in my bed

I hear the clock tick

And think of you

Caught up in circles

Confusion is nothing new

You say go slow

I fall behind

The second hand unwinds

If you're lost, you can look

and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall,

I will catch you

I'll be waiting

Time after time

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hello?

Ted?

Hi, Mrs. Stewart.

I'm Donna.

I don't know if you remember me.

I'm Ted's friend.

We got you that little

clicker thing for the TV.

Remember?

Is Ted here?

[ Exhales deeply ]

I messed up.

I really did.

I thought

that I was getting everything

that I wanted, and...

I thought Paris and...

first class

would make me happy.

But...it didn't.

'Cause...

if you don't have that person

to come home to,

then going away is just...

I love him.

[ Sniffles ]

And I just wanted to tell him

that he made me happy.

Who are you?

You haven't heard a single word

I've said, have you?

I did.

I love you.

And I want to stay.

I do.

Are you sure?

And you're gonna be happy?

Yep.

In Cleveland?

How are you gonna be happy

in Cleveland?

'Cause you're in Cleveland.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Sally had said

that life is a series

of arrivals and departures.

But I learned

there is more than one way

to spread your wings.

DONNA:

Ladies and gentlemen...

welcome to Cleveland

Hopkins lnternational Airport.

Keep your seat belts fastened

until we reach the gate.

We know you have a choice

when you travel.

We thank you for choosing

Royalty Express.

If this is just

a stopover for you,

we wish you a safe, pleasant

continuation of your journey.

If Cleveland

is your final destination...

welcome home.

Don't stop believin'

Mark.

Mark.

[ Sighs ]

That is bull S.

You want to know what's bull S?

Eye exams!

You can't keep laughing at that.

That's evil.

I'll get it.

[ Muffled shouting ]

MAN: Cut!

Infinity flight

two-niner-niner-zero,

you are cleared for takeoff

on runway six.

Nine!

D'oh!

[ Bell ringing ]

I am a kitten.

I am a kitten.

I'm okay.

Got to take off.

Don't I wish.

I can't do it.

I can't hear you!

ALL: Before helping

the people who love you,

put it on yourself.

This ain't your mama's house!

Questions?

None.

Got to take off.

Don't I wish.

[ Laughter ]

I am Sally Weston.

Muffin! [ Sighs ]

How long do dogs live?

I love being a turtle!

Like the Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Okay.

What did we learn?

Okay. Let me try it again.

[ Whistle blows ]

Okay, class,

what did Randy forget?

-Mary?

-Christine.

No.

Donna?

I know this.

Randy?

I forgot to buy him a drink?

[ Laughter ]

[ Whistle blows ]

And that is procedure.

Oh.

We are Royalty

Flying just as high

as can be

We are Royalty

Safety is our policy

There's an oxygen mask

up above you

On a hidden shelf

Before helping the people

who love you

Put it on yourself

Use your seat belts,

as if you don't know

Make it nice and tight

Take a look at the exits

They're up ahead

To your left and right

We are Royalty

Flying just as high

as can be

We are Royalty

Safety is our policy