Two-Brain Highway

Narrator: Outside the city maximum security prison, Warden Chalmers is holding a press conference.

Warden: Today is an historic day in history! For on this historic day, history will show that we have indeed made history! I give you the newest innovation in prison security, the Giant Maze! It is absolutely escape-proof! And that’s a  guarantee !

Scoops: (to Becky) Hey, what does  guarantee  mean?

Becky: It’s a promise that what he says is true.

Warden: And to cut the ceremonial ribbon, straight from the District Attorney’s office, Sally Botsford!

Sally: Oh, stop! (cuts the ribbon with a giant pair of scissors)

Warden: The Giant Maze is officially open!

Scoops: I have a question.

Warden: What is it?

Scoops: How do you know no one can get out of this maze? Have you tested it?

Warden: Funny you should mention that! (guffaws) No! But we’re gonna test it right now! Bring him out!

(The doors of a police transport open, revealing Dr. Two-Brains accompanied by two guards.)

WordGirl: (gasps) Dr. Two-Brains!

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha ha, ha ha ha ha! (He starts sniffing)

Warden: You see? Under control. Now, in order to prove to you that this maze is totally escape-proof, I will set Dr. Two-Brains free!

(Someone is watching Two-Brains through a pair of binoculars. From a nearby van, we see that it Two-Brains’ henchmen watching.)

Unnamed henchman: They’re just about to release him. Get ready! (The other henchman, Charlie, puts a clothespin onto his nose.)

Warden: OK, boys, put him in!

(The guard slams the door locking him in.)

Warden: See? It works!

Unnamed henchman: He’s in. Release the cheese! (Charlie removes a wheel of stinky cheese from a barrel,) Quick! Put it in front of the exit. (He sets in front of the exit door, which is open and unguarded. The smell permeates through the maze, and reaches the nose of Dr. Two-Brains, who immediately begins following it.)

Warden: And so, to sum up, my glorious, beautiful maze is a complete 100%...

(As he speaks, Dr. Two-Brains has made his way to the exit, jumps into the van, and drives away past the crowd.)

Warden: (with a dejected tone) ...suc-cess… Okay boys, take her down! (A demolition crew moves in and knocks down the maze. Sally walks over to where Scoops and Becky are standing.)

Sally: Well, that was exciting, huh?

Becky: Uh, yeah Mom. (Bits of smashed concrete fly by.)

Sally: So-- who wants lunch?

Scoops: (Scoops raises his hand) I do! (Bob raises his hand too.)

Becky: Oh, um, I can’t. Uh, I have to take Bob to, uh… obedience school! (Bob looks stunned.) Uh, sit Bob, roll over. (He ignores her)

Sally: I see what you mean!

Becky; (looking at her forearm as if she’s wearing a watch) Ooh, we’re late! C’mon Bob! (They walk off)

Becky: (to Bob) I’m sorry, it was the best I could come up with!

(Scene: Dr. Two-Brains’ lair)

Narrator: Meanwhile, in the lair of Dr. Two-Brains…

Dr. Two-Brains: Excellent work, gentlemen!

Unnamed henchman: Thanks, Doc!

Dr. Two-Brains: So, let’s break some laws, eh boys? It’s a great big city out there, and it’s time I get my paws on some cheese! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Unnamed henchman: They got a bunch of cheese at the museum. (Holds up a pamphlet)

Dr. Two-Brains: Hmm… a rare cheese exhibit, eh? And just when I was having a craving! What a  coincidence ! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Charlie whispers something, and the other henchman nods.)

Unnamed henchman: Uh, Doc?

Dr. Two-Brains: Yes, what is it?

Unnamed henchman: Me and Charlie were talking, see, and while you were in prison, we worked for this other guy for a little bit, and we got to wear these really nice uniforms! (Holds up a photo of them dressed in tuxedos with top hats.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Yeah-- well, a little formal…

Unnamed henchman: And, well, not that these jumpsuits ain’t nice, but me and Charlie thought that maybe we could get something new!

Dr. Two-Brains: New uniforms, eh? I’ll see what I can do. No  guarantee s though! But no time for that now, boys-- because we have a robbery to plan! Ha-ha-ha!

Narrator: Meanwhile, searching the city…

(WordGirl is flying with Huggy, looking around.)

WordGirl: Still no sign of Dr. Two-Brains! If only there was some sort of big event going on having to do with cheese… (Huggy chatters) You’re right. What are the odds of that… a big cheese event?

(Huggy points at something in front of the grocery store, which looks like someone wearing a large cheese costume.)

Becky: Oh! (Flies down. The man wearing the costume hands her a brochure.) “Rare cheese exhibit at the Museum of Art and History.” Wow, that seems like a bit of a  coincidence !

Cheese Man: Uh, what?

Becky; A  coincidence ! It’s two events that seem unlikely to happen at the same time, but do, almost as if they’re planned. For example, the fact that there’s a rare cheese exhibit at the museum the very same day that Dr. Two-Brains escapes from prison, is a  coincidence .

Cheese Man: Oh.

Becky: Especially since before today, I’m never even heard of a rare cheese exhibit!

Cheese Man: Yes, I was wondering about that myself.

Becky: Word UP! (Takes off with Huggy, knocking the cheese guy over.)

Narrator: (whispering) Later that night, in the museum…

(Scene: The Museum of Art and History. A mysterious figure is moving through the halls with a flashlight. The figure walks up to a door with a control panel next to it, and keys ‘1337’ into the panel. The door opens, and the figure walks through)

WordGirl: Nice looking pile of cheese, isn’t it, DOC? (WordGirl, who has been waiting inside with Huggy, turns on the lights. The mysterious figure turns around, and it is Dr. Two-Brains.)

Dr. Two-Brains: WordGirl! How did you--

WordGirl: Oh, come on! A rare cheese exhibit?!

Dr. Two-Brains: Yeah, I know. Quite a  coincidence !

WordGirl: Did you plan this before you escaped from prison?

Dr. Two-Brains: No! Sure seems that way though, huh? Crazy old world!

WordGirl: Sure is, yeah.

(The henchmen show up next to Two-Brains.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, my backup’s here, should we, uh, pick this up? (assumes a fighting pose)

WordGirl: Yeah, might as well! (She and Huggy assume fighting positions)

Dr. Two-Brains: A-ha, WordGirl! It looks like we have you outnumb-- (he gets his by a flying cheese wheel, knocking him over, and the henchmen raise this hands to surrender.)

WordGirl: Well, that was easy!

Narrator: (whispering) Psst! WordGirl! You can’t defeat Dr. Two-Brains yet, we’re only halfway through the show!

WordGirl: Really?

Narrator: Yeah.

WordGirl: Well I don’t know what to tell you, he’s out.

Narrator: Oh no! Look up! (the chandelier above is rattling and creaking.)

WordGirl: Ugh! (She flies up and grabs the chandelier to keep it from falling.) Quick Huggy!

(Huggy jump on top of it, and uses an electric screwdriver to secure the chandelier. By the time she returns to the ground, Two-Brains and the henchmen are gone!)

WordGirl: Are you kidding me?!

Narrator: What?

WordGirl: Why’d that lighting fixture fall out of the ceiling at the very moment Dr. Two-Brains needed to escape?

Narrator: Just a  coincidence , I guess.

WordGirl: Right. Come on, Huggy, we have-- have to… (suddenly yawns) What time is it? (Huggy points at his wrist.) Oh, past our bedtime! Word up. (gives another yawn then takes off.)

Narrator: The next morning, at the secret lair of Dr. Two-Brains…

(Scene: Two-Brains’ lair. The henchmen are playing cards.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, henchmen! I have a surprise for you! Here! (Holds out two boxes, wrapped up as presents.)

Unnamed henchman: I-- I don’t know what to say!

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, go ahead, go ahead, open them!

(They proceed to tear open the packages, then look confused when they see what is inside: mouse costumes.)

Unnamed henchman: Umm… what?

Dr. Two-Brains: You asked for new uniforms!

Unnamed henchman: Uhhh… yeah.

Dr. Two-Brains: Look at the whiskers. Aren’t those a kick?

(They both stare at them with a disappointed look.)

Dr. Two-Brains: You... don’t like them.

Unnamed henchman: No! No… it’s just that… well… they seem a bit big.

Dr. Two-Brains: I know, you have to be big if you want to make an impression! It’s like… pow!

Unnamed henchman: Yeah, but you gotta realize…

Dr. Two-Brains: That’s the new uniform, ok? If you’re gonna work for me, you’re gonna have to wear it! Now go put it on!

(They pick up the costumes and walk away.)

Dr. Two-Brains: And hurry up, we have some cheese to steal! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Narrator: Meanwhile, over at the Botsfords…

(Scene: The Botsford house. Becky and Bob are sitting at the table, looking worn out.)

Becky: Oh man, I’m exhausted! (She yawns, and Bob’s head drops into his cereal bowl.) I’m toast. (At that moment, the toast pops up.)

Mrs. Botsford: What a  coincidence ! Breakfast is ready! (looks over at them) Becky?

Becky: (jarred out of her nap) Hah! Got you, Two-Brains! Oh… heh-heh, I must have been dreaming about being WordGirl. Ha-ha-ha.

Mrs. Botsford: Speaking of WordGirl, she’s in for a busy day today!

Becky: Why?

Mrs. Botsford: Look at all these cheese events! There’s the Cheese on Ice show over at the arena, the premiere of that new musical “I Love You (but I love your cheddar more)”, not to mention the Days of Gorgonzola Festival, in the park. Dr. Two-Brains is gonna have a field day!

Becky: There’s three big cheese events going on today?

Mrs. Botsford: Actually, four! Warden Chalmers is showing off his 140-year-old limburger, the world’s rarest cheese!

Becky: How come all these cheese events are going on in one day? Seems awfully unlikely.

Mrs. Botsford: Hmm! Just a  coincidence , I guess! (walks off)

Becky: Oh man! Four cheese events in one day? How do we know where Two-Brains is gonna strike first, huh Bob? (She looks over, and he is still buried head first in the cereal bowl.) BOB! (He jumps up, startled, assuming a fighting pose.)

(This is followed by a montage of the different events.)

''IAt the Days of Gorgonzola festival, Two-Brains arrives by his mouse blimp, and uses a large vacuum to suck up the cheese from the table. WordGirl and Huggy arrive as he flies away.)''

''IAt the premiere of the musical, Two-Brains and the henchman leave the theater carrying bags of cheese. WordGirl and Huggy race toward the scene, but Two-Brains sprays cheese on the ground, causing them to slide past them as they make their escape.)''

(At the Cheese on Ice show, the henchmen (dressed in their new mouse uniforms) skate on the ice pushing carts filled with cheese, with Two-Brains behind them in an acrobatic pose. They find themselves skating toward WordGirl and Huggy, but Two-Brains pushes a button on a remote control, causing a large slice of swiss cheese to drop onto the superheroes, allowing them to escape.)

(Finally, the Warden is about to present his 140-year-old limburger cheese.)

Warden: Alright, alright, quiet down. QUIET DOWN! (The reporters are yawning, otherwise making no noise.) Now then, this moment is truly a momentous occasion. In fact, it’s a momentous and historical momentous moment, and that’s a  guarantee ! For what I have here is one of only three in the world… a beautiful hunk of 140-year-old limburger cheese! (Lifts a cover to reveal the cheese sitting on a podium.) Questions? Queries?

Unnamed henchman: (coming in wearing a fake mustache) Hi, sorry I’m late.

Warden: Oh, that’s OK, no problem. You didn’t miss much, I’ll recap. What newspaper are you from?

Unnamed henchman: (reading off of cards) You’re probably wondering what newspaper I am from. Well I am from the New Cheddar Review.

Warden: Ha, excellent! Fine paper.

(WordGirl and Huggy come through the door.)

WordGirl: A-ha! Look out! He works for Dr. Two-Brains!

(The henchman’s fake mustache falls off. He quickly produces a remote, and presses the button on it. The room goes dark, and there is a lot of stumbling around. After a few seconds, the lights come back on. Huggy is attacking the Warden, then quickly lets go. Next to him, the cheese has been stolen off of the podium.)

Warden: (sarcastically) Aw, well, that’s just dandy!

WordGirl: Don’t worry, Warden! I’ll have your limburger cheese back to you in no time! (She examines dirt samples on the floor.) C’mon, Huggy! Word Up! (takes off)

(Scene: Two-Brains’ lair. He is examining the cheese as the henchmen sit next to him in their mouse uniforms.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ooh! (sniff) One hundred forty-year-old limburger! I long to taste you!

(WordGirl appears through the window.)

WordGirl: Put down that limburger!

Dr. Two-Brains: How in the world did you find me?

WordGirl: You left a little of THIS behind! (holds up a bag containing dirt)

Dr. Two-Brains: What’s that?

WordGirl: It’s dirt! A very specific kind of dirt that can only be found in two places in the world: the African Congo, and right on our city’s waterfront!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh boy. And how do you know about this dirt?

WordGirl: I watched a special about it on TV!

Dr. Two-Brains: When?

WordGirl: This morning!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh-- well, that is ridiculous! What a  coincidence .

WordGirl: You didn’t seem to mind when a  coincidence  helped you escape the other night!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, you mean the whole thing with the falling light in the museum?

WordGirl: The falling light in the museum, right!

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha, ha, ha. It helped ME get out of there though, didn’t it?

WordGirl: Well, it landed BOOM right on my head!

Dr. Two-Brains: That was a good  coincidence !

WordGirl: Well…

Dr. Two-Brains: ...for ME…

WordGirl: For you!

Dr. Two-Brains: Not so great for you.

WordGirl: Yep, yep yep.

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, by the way-- I have you outnumbered again! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

WordGirl: (looking at henchmen) Oh-ho-ho, you guys look so CUTE!

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, are you hench-MICE, or hench-MEN? Get her! (They move in, and Huggy jumps down onto them from the ceiling, knocking them over.)

Unnamed henchman: Ow!

WordGirl: Great job, Huggy!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, WordGirl! (He is waving a ray gun around. Suddenly, something snaps above him, and a light fixture falls onto him) Ahhh!

WordGirl: Was that a lighting fixture that just fell on him?

Narrator: Do I even have to say it?...

WordGirl and Narrator (together):  Coincidence !

Narrator: And so, with a little help from a big  coincidence , WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face once again defeats the evil Dr. Two-Brains. Tune in again next time for another exciting episode of… WordGirl!