The Understanding

Peter Comes To School



 * No no, too Christmasy.




 * Too Birthday-ish.




 * Too morbid.




 * Ah, that will do.


 * Attention everybody! We are being joined by a new student today. Now, he’s previously been home schooled, so he is bound to be a little self conscious about his possible bizarre behavior, or total lack of social skills. We should not stare at him,  point,  or draw attention to him, in any way. So, will Peter Pepperoni please come to my office.  Actually... I probably should have just said that last bit, oh well, never mind, just style it out Nigel.

Trying To Understand Him



 * Homeschooling sounds great! You’d be the most popular kid in school.


 * Yeah, and when you think about it, the least popular kid in school.


 * Remember when Mr. Dad tried to homeschool us?




 * Seventy-eight plus thirty-nine plus fourteen plus sixty-two plus fifty-one is?


 * Oh! Spring rolls, egg, fried rice, sweet and sour pork, kung pow chicken, and chow mein.


 * Correct.




 * Yeah, if we had stuck with that I’d have a doctorate in takeout menus by now. And a serious weight problem.




 * Ah, boys, if I might have a quick word. It’s the new boy, I don’t understand a single word he’s saying.


 * Mabye it’s slang.


 * Ah, Yes, slang, Which of course is also slang. For slanguage.


 * Well, I can see why you came to us. You want a pair of guys down with the streets, just a couple of cool dudes who were so confident with their fashion choices, they haven’t changed their outfits in six years.


 * Leave it to us. We’re- ssssss.


 * Dude, no that means smoking hot.


 * No, it means cool, my finger is cooling things down!


 * Anyway, he’s your problem now. So, just show Peter around, I have some very important school work to attend to.




 * So Peter, what do you wanna do first?


 * Well, wherever round cool, lunch over the canteen there the locker the hunger sandwich and maybe some ketchup?



Montage Of Confusion



 * Is school nice to be on in, maybe lots of maybe people here, is the fun always on, or is the fun not?


 * Uh, sorry I didn’t quite catch that, one more time?


 * Ha ha ha, what I was I said,-




 * Excuse me?


 * Sorry could you repeat that please?


 * Uh, wh-what?


 * Run that by me again?


 * Could you maybe spell that for me?


 * Say what?


 * A little slower?


 * Huh?


 * Wha-


 * What now?


 * I beg your pardo-


 * Er...


 * Whaa-


 * Errr-


 * Uhhh-


 * Wait!


 * I-


 * No.


 * I-


 * Erm


 * Hurrrrr-


 * I think I got it! Are you saying you wanna grease a stanking leopard at the hacky-sack convention?


 * I was saying just now, there too much of it. Am I right?




 * Are wes frienyclose?
 * Uh...


 * Catchacatch?


 * Dude, I have no-
 * Everyboth, catch a potato! [Leaves]
 * Okay, it’s been two days now and I have no idea what that guy is saying. And there is no way I can ask him to repeat himself again!
 * You don’t have to. You just play back what he’s been saying, and listen to it.
 * How?
 * I’ve been wearing a wire this whole time!




 * Darwin, wearing a wire means wearing a microphone, that’s just a piece of the fence.
 * Note to self, connect wire to something.
 * Why don’t we just smile at him and nod along to whatever it is he’s saying?
 * Well that wouldn’t be honest with him or ourselves. But, on the plus side, it is the easiest way out of things.
 * Okay, cool. Wait when you’re weighing things isn’t the heavier thing better?
 * No, the lighter one’s best.
 * When would you want the lighter one of anything?
 * A summer coat? A Soufflé? A case of chicken pox?
 * Whatever, we’ll just nod along to whatever he says. I mean, it’s gotta be easier than what we’re doing now.

Nodding



 * Hey guys, I mean I’m here just wanna play this now?




 * Dalay!




 * And if you skip one little flight that’s all you need to go.




 * Ah I get the winner before! Never just life lost the first.




 * Okay so it’s been all three two movies on TV, but now it’s time for four!




 * Of course it’s keeping in coordinate the first side and then the edge and- the edge-piece corner, which is triple picture because down the box.




 * Piece, piece, ah you! Uh- can I believe it? A penny of history. Golden brown.




 * Dude, if my smile gets any bigger, I’ll bankrupt myself on toothpaste.


 * That’s nothing. I’ve been nodding so much I’ve developed a six pack. Here. I say we get out of here before my neck gets scouted for a football scholarship. Besides, I’ve been clawing a hole in the floor with my feet.


 * So we can escape?


 * No, just ‘cause I was really bored, but yeah I guess we can use it for that.

Meeting His Parents



 * I feel kind of bad Gumball.
 * Yeah, even through we just crawled through twenty feet of sewage water, that’s not what’s making me feel dirty.
 * Yeah, he’s new and he only wanted to make friends. We should go back.
 * Okay, But no more smiling and nodding and agreeing to stuff we don’t understand.




 * That’s the spirit!




 * Oh hello! It must be Gumball and Darwin!
 * Huh, oh yeah, hi. You must be Peter’s parents.
 * Oh, he’s mentioned us?
 * Probably.
 * We are so thrilled that Peter’s finally found some friends that speak the same language.
 * We do?
 * And he’s so excited that you said you’re up for coming along tonight.
 * We did?
 * I mean, I’m not surprised, you guys are inseparable these days. What is it you call yourselves? Uhh... not The Three Musketeers, no, uh... something like, The Three Amigos? Uh... ah, cheesecakes, what is it sweetheart?
 * Pete’s saying it all the time. The Three- uh-
 * The Three... Guys?
 * That’s it! [They laugh]
 * Ah, he's a funny fella, eh?
 * Oh, he's... definitely got a way with words!
 * [Catches up with them] Buddies! After the time in meeting!
 * Oh, Petey, you're the one that's late! Your buddies were on time!
 * Peter 'course! Doctor told me the seconds. Her mistakes!
 * Hey, don't worry. We totally understand.
 * We do?
 * Well, you comin' or what?
 * [As he and Darwin nod and laugh awkwardly] Ahh, here we go again.

The Pepperonis' Day Out
[Gumball, Darwin, and the Pepperonis are all in the car together]


 * So, what's your head size? Let's see. [Points at Darwin] Okay, so that's one small, [points at Gumball] and one extra-extra-extra-extra-extra large.


 * [blushing] Whoa, that was pretty insensitive. [To Gumball] Are you okay?


 * I'm fine. I'm totally cool with people saying how big your head is.


 * Maybe she's buying us party hats! [gasps] It must be Peter's birthday! Oh, but we haven't got him anything... Maybe we should improvise something! Whatcha got in your pockets?


 * Something that swam in my pants when we were in the sewer and now, I'm too afraid to look.


 * Let's put that in the "maybe" pile.


 * Okey-cokie, here we are at the town hall!

[The car swerves recklessly into a parking space but parks without a scratch]


 * [puts black beanies on Gumball and Darwin's heads] There you go!


 * See? It is a party hat!


 * Woolen ones. How...very warm.


 * Oh-ho, sweetie, they're not party hats!

''[Quattro, Siciliana, and Peter put on black ski masks and get out of the car. Gumball and Darwin turn around and watch them from the back window.]''


 * It still could be his birthday!


 * Who'd hold a kid's party at the town hall?


 * I don't know. Maybe instead of a clown tripping over his long shoes, it's a democratically elected official making long and administrative errands?

''[Quattro hoists Siciliana up into a window. She opens it and whistles for Peter, who throws her a hand grenade. She pulls the pin out and throws it into the building, covering her ears when it explodes. They put on gas masks and everyone in the town hall runs out in a puff of smoke. They run in]''


 * Dude, I knew something was weird! Party hats only come in one size!


 * That's all you think is weird? Not the ski masks or grappling hooks?

''[Peter grabs a grappling hook from the back of the car, swings it, and throws it at the town hall balcony. Siciliana grabs it and pulls it taut. She and Quattro zip line down.]''


 * Well, we should have at least got him a card!


 * Darwin, I don't think--

''[The Pepperonis get back into the car and they take off. They jerk to a halt, but keep pushing. The grappling hook on the back is pulling on a safe inside the building]''


 * HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO--AAAAHHHHH!!!

''[They break the wall and the safe breaks through, dragging behind the car. They recklessly drive through the streets, destroying cars with the safe. Darwin screams all the while. They pass by the Doughnut Sheriff's car]''


 * This one's mine! [Smashes his coffee cup in the side of the window, leaving a stain.] Ah, I coulda sworn that window was open. [He blares the siren and drives after them.]


 * WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!


 * Oh! I thought Peter explained all this to you!


 * Yeah, he might've, heh!


 * Well, we know you boys share our views! Peter's always saying how you agree with him on practically everything!


 * About WHAT?!


 * About the government!


 * The government?!


 * DAAAAHHHH!!! THE GOVERNMENT! Don't get me started on the government, with their endless forms and their right change!! GAAAHHH!!! Oh, it's the next left honey!

''[They take a wide left turn, and the safe destroys Pantsbully's hot dog stand. A piece of paper lands on his face. He reads it]''


 * ID violation order?! I guess servin' hot dogs in my underwear for six years was gonna catch up to me someday.

''[They take a right turn, and the safe destroys some scaffolding on the side of a building. Another paper lands in the hand of a construction worker]''


 * Structure permit denied?! [The entire building crumbles around him] Well, they work fast.

''[They keep straight, and more papers fly out behind them. One lands in the Hobo's hands]''


 * Eviction notice? Ah, come on! I don't even have a house! [Crumples it and throws it away. Another one lands in his face.] Littering?! Aaahh!!

[Cut back to the Pepperonis' car, still recklessly driving]


 * But what did the-AAAHHH!!!!-What did the government ever do to you?!


 * Always telling us what to do and what not to do!! You can't take your son out of school, you can't teach him at home, you can't teach him how to speak!! DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN'T TEACH MY OWN SON HOW TO SPEAK PROPERLY??!!!

[Gumball and Darwin laugh awkwardly and nod]


 * I'm glad you guys share our views!

[As they keep driving, another paper lands in front of Mr. and Mrs. Robinson.]


 * Our marriage certificate?! It's going up in flames! [Holds out a lighted match, but a passing car puts it out] Any minute now.

''[Meanwhile, the Pepperonis' car swerves and knocks over a truck. Back to Mr. Robinson with another match]''


 * Aha! [His breath puts it out] Uh oh. [Margaret holds out a lighter to him.] Thanks, honey.

''[The Pepperonis have been chased by the police all the way to the desert. They screech to a halt right at the edge of a cliff and get out.]''


 * Okay, so I've removed the license plates, put the fake ones on, wiped everything down for prints, and...I found some candies in the glove compartment! Who wants one?


 * For the love of Mike!! Will someone tell me WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!! And yes, I will be having one of those candies.


 * Once these records are destroyed, the people of Elmore will be able to live like we do!


 * Freely, without the GOVERNMENT!!!! telling them what to do!

[Two police cars pull up, sirens blaring]


 * Step away from the vehicle!


 * Are you telling me what to do?! [He discreetly puts the car into drive]


 * Yes! Step away!


 * Whatever you say...Uncle Sam! [He puts his hands up and the car plummets down the cliff, taking the safe of records with it. It explodes behind the Pepperonis as they pose smugly, while Gumball and Darwin cower in fear. The cops watch in disbelief as records fly around them.}


 * You're under arrest!

''[Two cops handcuff Quattro and Siciliana. Peter looks down, defeated, until he gets an idea.]''


 * Officers! [They all turn to look at him] Please. Do not judge these actions in facts of one or both. Or all! [Dramatic music swells. Fade to the officers, with tears in their eyes.] But understand that is not the deed, or even the doer that is. For was Benjamin Washington Abrams, who liberty said that they do but do not sometimes! And if so, two in the bush, and one left free stone. So I ask, please. [Quattro and Siciliana smile at each other.] My old lady, we found it's not them. It was society's. And no independences. But--for America!!


 * I don't know what he's saying... [takes off hat] but it's beautiful!


 * Yeah. ...And I'll be jiggered if I'm writin' all that down for evidence, so you're off the hook! [Takes handcuffs off Quattro and Siciliana and gets in his car]  'Cuz that's how the law works! Oh--and all those files you destroyed? They're on the internet anyway! Bye! [drives off]


 * [exchange confused looks] What on the flat earth is the internet?!


 * I'll let Peter explain. [nudges Peter forward]


 * Well, the intersna--[The episode ends.]