Robot Rodeo

(Scene opens up in the backyard)

Phineas: What to do, what to do?

Isabella: Hi, guys. What'cha doin'?

Phineas: Well, that's what we're trying to figure out. Hey, are you Fireside Girls missing any specific accomplishment patches?

Isabella: Let's see. What's next on the list? (reads a list of patches until she comes to the right one; snaps fingers) "Rodeo Clown" patch!

Baljeet: What does a rodeo clown do?

Buford: They keep the bulls from knockin' you over, like this! (knocks Baljeet over)

Baljeet: Oh, I can see how that would be helpful.

Phineas: We can build mechanical bulls and have a robot rodeo. Hey, where's Perry?

(Scene shifts to Perry's lair)

Major Monogram: Ah, Agent P. Seems the Tri-State Area's association of evil geniuses, the League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness, is having some sort of huge gathering. All of the other agents have been deployed, but none have reported back. We fear they've been captured. Now, see what you can do, Agent P. (salutes) Monogram out.

(Perry salutes)

(In Candace's room...)

Candace: Tiny Cowboy live in concert!

Stacy: Um, Candace? Candace?!

Candace: Tiny Cowboy is our favorite band ever! AHH!

Stacy: CANDACE! I can't go.

Candace: Wha...?

Stacy: It...it's my mom. She doesn't want me to go to the concert with you.

Candace: What? Doesn't she like me?

Stacy: No, no. She likes you just fine, she just thinks...you're, I don't know, flighty and unfocused from time to time.

Candace: "Unfocused"? What could possibly give her that... (hears motor whirring) Wait, did... did you hear that? Was that Ferb's band-saw?

Stacy: Candace?

Candace: Yes?

Stacy: Focus.

Candace: Oh, yeah, right.

Stacy: Mom said if I'm going to a grown-up concert, she wants me to go with someone more...grounded and mature.

Candace: I can be grounded and mature.

Stacy: Really?

Candace: Well, I can certainly fake it long enough to convince your mom. Remember that time I pretended to be Irish for a whole week?

Stacy: Indeed I do, Miss O'Flynn!

Candace: We can do this!

Candace/Stacy: AHHHHH!

(At the Quantity Inn...)

Judge: Welcome, one and all, to the second annual Inator Creator contest. And now, please welcome last year's winner, Rodney!

Rodney: Thank you. Feast your eyes, boys. (reveals trophy belt) Ta-daaaa!

(Everyone gasps)

Rodney: Look upon this belt of victory.

Doofenshmirtz: Ooh, I'm taking that puppy home with me, 'cause I'll have a greater Inator this year. Not a greater, it's...I-I'm not gonna break a block of cheese and make nachos for you guys. It's-it's greater in the sense that it's better than it was last year. (pause, walks away) That's what I mean.

(Scene shifts back to Candace's room)

Stacy: All right, let's concentrate on your look. Ta-da!

Candace: (wearing fake glasses) But... they're just a pair of fake glasses.

Stacy: Exactly. Nothing says real focus like fake glasses.

(mike tone)

Candace: What's that?

Ferb: (in the background) Cowgirls and cowpokes, welcome to the Flynn-Fletcher Bros' Rodeo!

Candace: Wait a minute! What's going on out there?

Stacy: Candace?

Candace: They'd better not be... (gasps) Feeling...busting...urge!

Stacy: Easy, girl.

(Camera pans to the robot rodeo in the backyard)

(Robot bulls mooing)

Phineas: Great job on these cowboy hat helmets, Ferb.

Candace: A rodeo?! (dials phone) Got tell Mom!

Stacy: Wait. Following all over yourself to bust your brothers is exactly what makes you look so flighty and unfocused.

Candace: I must repress my basic urges to bust.

Stacy: Repressing basic urges to bust is pretty responsible, isn't it?

Candace: Is it ever! Look at my mom!

(Linda is in the kitchen, staring at a cake)

Linda: Cake is a sometimes food. Cake is a sometimes food.

(At the robot rodeo...)

Ferb: All right, cowboys and cowgirls, it's time to get along, little doggy. Or even a short little doggy. I'm here all week. Try the veal!

(Song: Robot Rodeo)

You're not a cow, I'm just a boy

With a mechanical bovine toy!

I'm just a boy, or just a girl

And you rock my mechanical bovine world!

Yipee-kiyay, yipee-kiyo

Give me a lasso and I'll give it a throw.

Yipee-kiyay, yipee-kiyo

In my robot rodeo.

Yipee-kiyay, yipee-kiyo, yipee-kiyay!

Yipee-kiyay, yipee-kiyo, yipee-kiyay!

(Perry arrives at the Quantity Inn, but gets trapped in a leash)

Doofenshmirtz: Finally, Perry the Platypus! All the other animal agents were here on time before they got captured. I'm just saying. It's embarrassing. Anyway, join your friends in the inhospitality suite! (tosses Perry into metal container) Ha ha! Oh, and Perry the...

Rodney: Heinz, stop monologuing with your nemesis and show us that supposed Inator of yours already! (to his cronies) Doofy rented a private room off the convention floor, because he's still working on his! (they laugh)

Doofenshmirtz: Laugh enough, now, Rodney, but soon, you'll be crying like a...uh, like a...like a...something that's cries.

(Rodney's cronies laugh)

Rodney: Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo!

Doofenshmirtz: OH, he makes me so angry! I'm... uh, because he's so right! I need time to finish my Inator! All I've got so far is the fog machine and that's just to add some "pizazz" to the presentation. I could turn it on and fog out the whole contest, but all that would do is buy me some time...hey!

(Candace and Stacy are leaving the house)

Stacy: Okay, shoulders back.

Candace: Check!

Stacy: Steady walk?

Candace: Check.

Stacy: Serious look.

Candace: Check! Uh, Stacy?

Stacy: Yes?

Candace: I'm feeling the busting urge.

Phineas: Howdy, Candace! Enjoying the rodeo?

Candace: Uhhhh!

Stacy: Eyes on the prize, Candace, stay in character.

(Scene shifts to the Hirano household)

Linda: I'm sure your mom let you go to a concert by yourself when you were a teenager.

Dr. Hirano: Mmm...no.

(door closes)

Candace: Ahem. Good afternoon, Mother. Good afternoon, Dr. Hirano. Pardon the interruption, but is there any tediously responsible errand of a focused and mature nature that I can perform for you? Balance a checkbook, pay the bills, perhaps file some taxes?

Linda: Why do I feel that all of this has something to do with busting your brothers?

Candace: What?! (hears mechanical bull) Eh-heh, no. That would be childish of me.

Stacy: You see? Candace level-headed and responsible. She's not a bit worried about what Phineas and Ferb are doing right now.

Candace: (hears mechanical bull) What?! Yes! No, yes, I mean, i-if a responsible focused person...

Stacy: Like Candace...

Candace: Were to see her brothers engaged in some potential reckless activity,... (gets elbowed) Ow! THAT was childish.

(Doofenshmirtz puts out his fog machine, which fogs the entire contest grounds, causing everyone to cough.)

Man 1: There's no case to ruin it whatsoever!

Man 2: This is hideous.

''(The fog floods the entire town as well as the rodeo.) '' Baljeet: It is getting pretty foggy. Should we call the rodeo off?

Phineas: Nah, we'll just incorporate it and have a foggy robot rodeo! YEE-HAW! Ride 'em, cowboy!

Baljeet: Ride 'em where?

Buford: You should see what I'm doin'!

Isabella: This fog is making my hair frizzy!

(Scene shifts back to the Hirano household; Candace is fidgeting)

Stacy: It's so nice to sit and be responsible for a change. Just...focused, you know? And Candace and I were thinking that, oh, a live musical event might be a good opportunity for us to really...

Candace: Ma...ma...m-m-m-m-m...

Stacy: Candace? Tiny Cowboy.

Candace: Ma... ma...

Stacy: (whispering) Candace, the concert!

Candace: I can't help myself! MOM! PHINEAS AND FERB BUILT A RODEO IN THE BACKYARD WITH MECHANICAL BULLS AND BLEACHERS AND IS REALLY DANGEROUS! COME ON, YOU GOTTA BUST THEM! (drags Linda with her)

Dr. Hirano: This even I have to see.

Candace: (opening door) Come on... hey! What happened to Danville?

Linda: That's quite a fog bank.

Candace: (blows) Follow me, come on, come on. This way, ladies. Pick up the pace!

Linda: Candace, slow down!

(Doofenshmirtz is busy working)

Doofenshmirtz: Focus, must finish Inator. (hears applause) Wha... what's all that noise out there? I don't get it, what... what's there to applaud? My fog machine should've obscured everyone's Inators. What could it be...

Rodney: I give you, the Fog Clearer-Inator!

Judge: Once again, Rodney gives us just what we need, just when we need it. That puts him in the lead.

Doofenshmirtz: WHAT!? An electric fan? I knew I could beat that if I just had a little more time! (sighs) Wait! (Stares at the Agent Containment Unit)

(In the fog...)

Linda: Candace, we've been walking forever! Where's the backyard?

Candace: Hmm... (sniffs, licks, sniffs again) That way! I can smell Phineas and Ferb!

Dr. Hirano: And what exactly do they smell like?

Candace: Motor oil and competence!

(Buford's bull is acting erratically)

Buford: Hey! Oh! Heyhey!

Phineas: What's wrong, Buford?

Buford: I don't know, something's making my bull go whacko!

(Camera zooms to a close up of a red balloon one of the kids is holding)

(Doofenshmirtz backs up to the Agent Containment Unit and throws an escape blueprint in it. Perry reads it, and the agents form a ladder for him to escape. He then swings the agents out and they strike their fighting poses.)

Scientist 1: The animal agents are free!

(Perry knocks over one of the inators)

Scientist 2: My Inator! How disquieting!

Scientist 3: No, Agent C!

(Agent C smashes another inator)

Scientist 3: Oh, my Mom's gonna kill me-e-e!

Rodney: No, it's just an electric fan! It's been official to mankind!

(Agent Kitty starts to destroy the inator, but runs away)

Rodney: Heh heh heh.

(The agents continue to destroy the inators and attack the scientists)

(Back at the rodeo...)

Buford: That balloon! It's making the bulls angry!

Phineas: Hey, kid, you think you can let go of that balloon?

Kid: This balloon cost me fifty cents!

Audience: LET GO OF THE BALLOON!

(The kid lets go of the balloon. The bulls knock Buford and Ferb away and notice it. They chase after it, taking the rodeo with them)

Candace: Mom! Mom! The fog is lifting! (enters backyard) Aha! (fog lifts fully) Uh...rodeo? Bu--bu-bu-bu-but the... there was an... and I saw... a-and the bulls...

Phineas: Hey, Candace.

Stacy: Well, so much for Tiny Cowboy.

Dr. Hirano: Ohhhh, you can go to the concert. Candace's single-minded determination to bust her brothers shows focus. Something she hopes rubs off on you, young lady.

(Doofenshmirtz brings out his finished inator)

Rodney: Doofenshmirtz, I see you finally managed to cobble something together. What do you call it? A...Later-inator? (sarcastic laugh)

Doofenshmirtz: Noooo, I give you...the Eradicate Rodney's-Inator-inator!

(He presses a remote, the inator fires a boxing glove and destroys Rodney's inator)

Rodney: What?! No fair! (sobs)

Doofenshmirtz: LIKE A BABY! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! That's what I was looking for. AND... IT'S THE LAST INATOR STANDING!

Judge: Doofenshmirtz wins by default!

Doofenshmirtz: By default, my favorite way to win!

Judge: Unfortunately, the trophy belt was destroyed in the fight. So...uh, oh! (grabs the balloon that just floated by) Here, take this balloon instead.

Doofenshmirtz: (takes the balloon) Eh, a prize is a prize. (at the balloon) I'm going to call you...Balloony II. (hears mooing) What's that?

(the bulls come stampeding into the room and destroy the Quantity Inn)

(Doofenshmirtz screams)

(Back in the backyard, Phineas and Ferb are under the tree when Perry comes by)

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.

(Camera pans out to show Isabella, hair all frizzed up from the fog)

Isabella: Well, this was fun, but I'm gonna go wash my hair, now.

(Song: Izzy's Got the Frizzies)

Whoa, whoa, yeah!

She's gonna be a big sensation

Izzy's got the frizzies!

Izzy's, (Ow) Izzy's got the frizzies

Cause she's sportin' major kinkification

Izzy's got the frizzies!

Izzy's, (Ow) Izzy's got the frizzies

And now she's gonna tell you how

Izzy's got the frizzies!

Isabella: It's because of the humidity!

End Credits
(Song: Izzy's Got the Frizzies)

Whoa, whoa, yeah!

She's gonna be a big sensation

Izzy's got the frizzies!

Izzy's, (Ow) Izzy's got the frizzies

Cause she's sportin' major kinkification

Izzy's got the frizzies!

Izzy's, (Ow) Izzy's got the frizzies

And now she's gonna tell you how

Izzy's got the frizzies!