Imperfect Storm

(Scene opens up at Googolplex Mall. Cut to Candace and Stacy browsing clothes.)

Candace: Hi, Mom. Stacy and I are gonna have lunch here at the mall so we'll be hanging out a little longer. (Stacy shows a ferret headband to Candace as she gives Stacy a thumbs up)

(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher House. Linda is seen reading the newspaper.)

Linda: I thought you probably would.

Candace: (voiceover) Are the boys doing anything bustable yet?

Linda: Not yet. Although they are trying to figure out how they can both use the push broom at the same time.

Candace: OK, keep me posted. (hangs up)

(Phineas and Ferb are seen using the push broom: Phineas pushing the broom while Ferb guides him by standing on the broom and pointing straight.)

Phineas: Hey, Mom. We're going down to the park to fly our kites.

Linda: You guys wanna ride or something?

Phineas: I thought you had to meet with those landscaper guys.

Linda: Oh right, I forgot. (reads leaflet) Du Bois (Du-bwa) Landscape Artists.

Du Bois (Du-Bwa) Landscape Artists!

Phineas: Also, that's yesterday's paper.

Linda: I thought the city council was getting a little redundant.

(A truck honks outside. Cut to front yard, where two men step out of their truck)

Man With Glasses: Hello. I'm Pierre Du Bois (Du-Boise). One-day landscape artist. (shakes hands with Linda)

Linda: Hi! Oh, it's not Du Bois (Du-Bwa)?

Pierre: No. It's just like it's spelled. It's French!

Du Bois Landscape Artists! (slightly faster) It's just like it's spelled, it's French!

Pierre: Except Floraine ain't French. He's from Dutch.

Floraine: (speaks in Dutch)

Pierre: That's Dutch for "It's nice to meet you.".

Linda: Huh. To my American ears, it almost sounded like, "Where's Perry?"

(Cut to an arcade store with a sign that said "Richard's Arcade". Perry is seen walking into it, putting on his fedora, and jumps into the P-Drop arcade game, becoming part of it while jumping over chimneys and bouncing off a banana tree down a tunnel to his lair.)

Major Monogram: Ah, Agent P. Special surveillance photos tells us that Doof is outfitting his skiff with something. It's hard to tell--

Carl: (offscreen) Sir, I looked up the window at his building just now, and saw the mysterious object was actually a bucket. A huge bucket.

Major Monogram: (to Carl) Carl!? Why didn't we just look out the window in the first place?

Carl: I don't know sir.

Major Monogram: Doggone it Carl, we can't keep wasting out funds like this! (to Agent P) Well anyway Agent P, I guess you can go over there and see what he's gonna do with that large bucket. (Agent P leaves)

Carl: Is he gone sir?

Major Monogram: Yeah, c'mon, let's go to Vegas.

(Cut to Baljeet holding a large silver stick with a spiral at the end. Buford runs to him while holding a pirate ship model.)

Buford: Hey Baljeet, check this out! It's a kite, but it totally looks like a pirate ship!

Baljeet: That is very nice! (He walks up a ladder supported by a huge dragon kite as the scene pans out. Chinese music plays.) Have you seen my kite?

Buford: Wow! Is it there even be enough wind for something like that?

Baljeet: There should be, with Phineas's wind amplification device.

(Cut to the wind amplification device at work, then cut to Phineas and Isabella near it.)

Isabella: So, how does this work again?

Phineas: You start by blowing a bit of wind into the intake funnel. (Phineas inhales, then blows into the funnel. Pan to a tank filled with liquid that looks like water, in which Phineas points at it.) Then we have super cool liquid nitrogen to cool things down. Cold air sinks, until it starts to warm back up again. (Pan to a huge blow torch) And that's where we heat it up with a giant blow torch. And then, as it accelerates, it sucks up more air volume, and eventually blows it out with acceleration. (Pan to a huge funnel that opens up to let wind out. A bird flying into it loses all its feathers and is blown away.)

Isabella: But that was just one big puff of air! How can we fly kites like that?

Phineas: Simple! Irving has volunteered to keep puffing air into the intake. (Irving is seen climbing up a ladder.)

Irving: I've been eating mint all morning! (shows a bunch of mint) You know, so it won't be stinky!

Isabella: That's very thoughtful of you, Irving.

Irving: (snidely) I didn't really do it for you.

(Cut to Flynn-Fletcher backyard. Linda, Pierre, and Floraine are seen walking into it.)

Linda: So here's the yard. I want something nice out here. I think you know what to do. (everyone stops walking, Linda turns to landscapers) You are the landscapers after all.

Floraine: ''Daar heeft ze is gelijk in. ("She's right about that.")''

Pierre: Actually, we are landscape artists. (picks up car door with poster) Do I need to show you the car door again?

Du Bois It's Lands--

Linda: No, no. It's fine. I'll be inside if you need me. (walks away)

Floraine: ''Een - nul. ("One - nil.")''

Pierre: No, I didn't get the money up front.

(Cut to Phineas on a gigantic robot kite.)

(Song: "Quirky Worky Song")

Phineas: Is everyone's kite ready?

(Cut to all five kites. Ferb is on a pterodactyl-like kite, Isabella is on a horse-like kite, Buford is on a ship-like kite, and Baljeet is on a dragon-like kite.)

Baljeet: All set.

Buford, Isabella: Ready!

Phineas: OK Irving, let her rip!

(Cut to Irving.)

Irving: Roger wilco! (He inhales and then blows with all his might into the wind amplifier. The amplifier then blows out a huge amount of wind. The kites start to fly.)

Isabella: It's working!

Buford: Wow, minty! (Cut to him) Ah hoy! Avast ye sworty dogs!

(Cut to Baljeet.)

Baljeet: Wow Buford, you look like a real pirate!

Buford: That's nothing. Watch this. Fire! (A cannon in the ship shoots out cannonballs.)

Baljeet: (getting hit by the cannonballs) Ow, ow, ow ow ow!

(Cut to Isabella.)

Isabella: Hey Phineas, watch this! I'm jumping clouds! Whee!

(Cut to Phineas.)

Phineas: That's awesome, Isabella. Watch this! (His robot kite turns into an automobile.) Now I'm in a car!

(Pan to Ferb. The same bird who got its feathers blown away gets eaten by the pterodactyl-like kite. Ferb gets the bird from the mouth and releases the bird.)

(Cut to the exterior of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, then to Doofenshmirtz holding a pair of binoculars.)

Doofenshmirtz: Enjoy your welcome-to-Danville lunch and ladies. (Point of view shot from Doof.) Soon, Grulinda, you shall taste the wrath of--(Perry suddenly appears in front of binoculars) Perry the Platypus?! (Cut to Doof and Perry.) Oh, before I forget, I got you a little lair-warming gift. (Doof gives him a ring box. Perry opens it, and a yellow rope is tied tightly around him.) Ha ha! You fell for the old spring-loaded-cable-trap-hidden-in-a-ring-box trick. What the? Th-that's a thing. Obviously. I bet you're wondering why I'm spying on a garden party. (Cut to Doof.) OK, maybe not wondering, but I'm going to tell you anyway. (Flashback.)

Doofenshmirtz: (voiceover) It all started when I was a child, back in Drusselstein. There was this mean girl named Grulinda. Every day she would pour water on my head. (Young Grulinda laughs after pouring water over young Doofenshmirtz's head.) No matter where I was, (Young Grulinda again pours water over young Doofenshmirtz's head and laughs.) or what I was doing, (Young Grulinda again pours water over young Doofenshmirtz's head and laughs.)

Young and Present-day Doofenshmirtz: (together) Stop pouring water on me!

(in the flashback)

Mr. Doofenshmirtz: Bewege dich nicht! (Don't move!)

(End flashback.)

Doofenshmirtz: But by some wonderful twist of fate, (Doof shows Perry a magazine with a picture of an ugly girl and a beautiful one.) she has moved here to Danville! See? (reads caption underneath picture) Grulinda Boubenweir moves to Danville, party being held in her honor at Danville Park. (stops reading, cut to Doof and Perry.) And the party just started, I don't know how they got this picture in the magazine so quick. Eh, I guess they're trying to compete with the internet. (closes magazine) But, I digress! (cut to a giant bucket of water.) I can finally have my revenge! With this! (turns to Perry) The Sog-inator! (evil laugh) Now I will fly over her party, and douse her, with a lifetime of soggy humiliation! (pause) What? Oh, you think that it's petty that I held onto this grudge for so long. Oh, it's not petty. It's not. (looks at Perry sarcastically) It's evil or something; it's not petty.

Linda: Okay guys, I'm dying to see what you-- (gets shocked and drops tray of lemonade. The lemonade falls to the ground and breaks. A cat's yowl is heard.) What is that?

(Cut to landscapers and a landscape that looks like a bucket spilling out water.)

Pierre: Well it's not finished yet. But it's juxtaposition of the irrigated world of the suburban lawn the dryness of the natural summer environment. A water bucket dumping desert cacti, honey suckle basket, weak glass handle, extra spiky bubble cacti in place of the water.

Linda: (angrily) That looks- that's- (groans, walks away)

(Pierre smiles at this)

Floraine: ''Volgens mij vindt ze het niks. ("I don't think she likes it.")''

Pierre: Not to worry, great art always takes time before it's accepted.

(Cut to inside of Flynn-Fletcher House. Linda is having a headache, and the telephone rings.)

Linda: Hello?

Candace: Mom, I need you to go into my closet and tell me what--

Linda: (places hand on forehead) Candace, I- look- call me in a few minutes. I'm a little ticked off right now.

Candace: (she gets a surprised expression on her face.) What happened?

Linda: Du Bois made a huge mess in the yard; they ripped off the lawn, there's a giant bucket, and a bunch of catuses. (raises voice in an angry way) I'm so mad! I gotta go.

(scene switches to mall)

Stacy: Candace, what's wrong?

Candace: (weakly, referring to Phineas and Ferb) It's the boys, they're busted. (She falls over.)

(Cut to Candace lying on the floor in disbelief, zooming in on her and rotating slowly.)

(Song: "Straight Up Bust")

Candace: I don't believe it, Stacy

The moment is here

My brothers are busted

Put it on the blogosphere

I've been vindicated

There is no more to discuss

I did not anticipate it, it's a straight up bust!

It's a straight up bust, say it all over town

Things are looking up because my brothers went down

It's a brand new day to take a while to address

And it makes me wanna say, everybody, it's a straight up bust!

(Cut to Danville Park, then pan up to Doofenshmirtz's hovering machine)

Doofenshmirtz: We should be over Grulinda's party any minute. Then it's soggy revenge time! (part of water from giant bucket falls off) Whoa! It's windy up here. If that keeps up, I don't have enough water to dump on her. (Perry thinks for a while, then bumps giant bucket on purpose. He does this one more time.) What? Did you hear that? (Perry just keeps quiet)

(Cut to Irving about to inhale air, then blows. Drops of water fall on him, then gets sucked in by the intake funnel.)

Irving: Uh oh.

(The amplifier causes the huge amount of water to fly out, causing a great storm.)

Baljeet: Whoa!

Isabella: It's getting a little "rainy".

Buford: A little!

(Cut to inside of car kite with Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella inside.)

Phineas: Looks like we better climb down.

(Cut to pirate ship kite with Baljeet and Buford clinging on to the deck.)

Buford: Just remember, Baljeet, a captain always goes down with the ship. (gives hat to Baljeet) Baljeet: Oh boy, a promotion. (Buford jumps down, and he realizes.) Hey!

(The gang jumps down, but Baljeet is the last one.)

(Cut to Doofenshmirtz and his hovering machine.)

Doofenshmirtz: What's that noise? (the huge amount of water splashes onto the machine, causing Doofenshmirtz to hold on to the handle.) What the heck there? You've been dumping out my water? Oh, this had better not not be empty.

(Cut to Linda with a sarcastic look on her face.)

Pierre: (offscreen) Okay Linda, I know you're gonna love this. (Cut to landscapers standing next to a giant spinning wheel.) This is the irrigation wheel! Each section represents a different section of the garden. (spins wheel) It's a comment on the capricious nature of our existence. (wheel stops spinning, and arrow points on a band of flowers) Some get water and live, others go dry and die!

Linda: (facepalm) This is ridiculous. I don't want to end up with a yard full of (pause) dead plants!

Floraine: ''Ik heb water in mijn laarzen. ("I've got water in my boots.")''

Linda: (with still hand on forehead) What did he say?

Pierre: He said, (angrily) "GREAT ART TAKES TIME!" (normal voice) in Dutch.

(Cut to Doofenshmirtz and his hovering machine again. Doofenshmirtz is climbing up onto the giant bucket of water using a ladder. Perry goes up onto the handle.)

Doofenshmirtz: Hey, watch it. (falls over) Ugh! Now watch the ailerons! (He falls into bucket again. He climbs out of the bucket. The bucket falls over and crashes onto the wind amplifier. It breaks, causing Doofenshmirtz to fly into the air carried by a huge amount of water. The water shoots into the clouds, and Doofenshmirtz falls back down to earth. Perry tears apart his trap, jumps off, and catches Doofenshmirtz by his left leg. The parachute goes off. As Perry and Doofenshmirtz, the storm clears, but Doofenshmirtz falls off again, and Perry is left with only his left shoe. He lands into a tree, and the tree flings him onto the ground, causing him to roll to Grulinda's party. He stops at a woman's feet, and thinks it is Grulinda.) Oh, you! I almost dumped a giant bucket of water on you and your party. And there was this whole mishap with the platyp- but I will get you next time! Revenge is a dish best served soggy, Grulinda!

Mean Woman: Uh, Grulinda's over there, bub.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, you're not... (turns to the other person and clears throat) All right, Gruuuuuuu...

Grulinda: Wait! Is that... hold on one second. (reaches for glasses and puts them on, then gasps) Soggy bottom Heinz Doofenshmirtz! It is you.

Doofenshmirtz: Wow, you've changed. You used to be so... you know, what's the polite way to say... you know, like this one? (points to mean woman) Ugly.

Mean Woman: Oh oh, you're on my list now, buddy.

Doofenshmirtz: So why are you being so nice to me.

Grulinda: Nice? I don't understand.

Doofenshmirtz: You picked on me all through grade school.

Grulinda: (chuckles) I poured all that water on you, because I liked you.

Doofenshmirtz: Really? We, we, well I guess you must have liked me a lot, 'cause there was a lot of, you know, water.

(Cut back to the song)

Candace: I got more time to play

(And this is totally a straight up bust!)

My life's a big buffet

(And this is totally a straight up bust!)

I know this sounds cliché

But this is totally a straight up bust!

Candace: Wait, what am I doing? (Reveal she is on a forklift.) Stacy, get me off of this thing! I need to see what the boys have done!

(Cut to landscapers showing off a garden sculpture of a woman, part-body, holding a bunch of flowers and thorns with her eyes closed.)

Pierre: She holds the thorns, which symbolizes the hardships of being a mom, and she holds pink jasmine, which symbolizes the joy of children.

Linda: This, is, the most, (does the puppy eye look) sweet and adorable thing I've ever seen. (walks away)

Pierre: (in a loud and not-so-happy voice) Sweet and adorable? (angrily) She's mocking us!

Floraine: ''Nee, volgens mij vindt ze het echt wat. ("No, I think she really likes it.")''

(Cut to Grulinda and Doofenshmirtz holding hands.)

Grulinda: It is so good to see you after all these years, just look at you! Oh, come here, my little soggy bottom. (hugs Doofenshmirtz)

Doofenshmirtz: Eh, well, eh, now, you hug now.

Grulinda: Oh, why are you all wet?

Doofenshmirtz: He, he, funny thing. I was flying over your party with a giant bucket of water, and this platypus hit me with a--

Grulinda: Why are you flying over my party with a big bucket of water?

(The mean woman appears)

Mean Woman: He's gonna dump on you for revenge.

Doofenshmirtz: OK, now you're on my list.

Grulinda: Revenge? For what?

Doofenshmirtz: Well, you know, you did dump water on me when we were little.

(The mean woman walks away.)

Grulinda: Heinz! I was eight! Have you been holding this petty grudge all these years?

(The mean woman reappears with a cup of water.)

Doofenshmirtz: Oh no, it's not petty; I was explaining to the platypus earlier; it's not--

Grulinda: (angrily) Well, here you go. I pour water on your head. (pours water on Doof's head. She then throws the cup to Doof, and she and the mean woman walk away.)

(Zoom out to reveal Perry walking to Doof.)

Doofenshmirtz: Wait. Was that for the vengeance thing or do you still like me? (Water is thrown onto Doof. To Perry) Yeah, it was the vengeance thing. (a cup is thrown onto Doof.)

(Cut to living room where Linda is sitting down reading a book, just as Candace runs to her.)

Candace: (excitedly) Tell me. What are the boys doing at the backyard? How much trouble are they in?

Linda: Well, at first, I thought Du Bois were the world's worst landscapers, but they're growing on me.

Candace: (suddenly surprised) Landscapers?

Linda: Yeah, here, let me show you.

(Cut to the gang in the backyard.)

Phineas: So I figure we can attach the seat right here--

Candace: (offscreen) There they are, Mom. (onscreen) Show me what they did.

Phineas: What did who do?

(Cut to Linda.)

Linda: Whoa, wait. Where did it all go?

Candace: (sarcastically) Ha ha.

Linda: (surprisingly) How is that even possible?

Candace: Very funny, Mom.

(Close-up look of Candace and Linda.)

Linda: It was all here just a second ago.

(Cut to the landscapers driving away with the landscaping supplies shown earlier.)

Pierre: (angrily) I have never been so insulted in my life! (Cut to inside of truck.) She called it sweet and adorable!

Floraine: ''Zere voeten en steeds nat. ("My feet hurt and they are wet.")''

Pierre: (normal tone) By the way, Floraine, I have no idea what you are saying.

Floraine: Would you rather I spoke in English?

Pierre: Well yeah, now that you mentioned it, yeah.

(Cut to truck driving away.)

End Credits
(Song: "Straight Up Bust")

Candace: I don't believe it, Stacy

The moment is here

My brothers are busted

Put it on the blogosphere

I've been vindicated

There is no more to discuss

I did not anticipate it, it's a straight up bust!

It's a straight up bust, say it all over town

Things are looking up because my brothers will be down

It's a brand new day to take a while to address

And it makes me wanna say, everybody, it's a straight up bust!