The Pirate Solution


 * Leonard:  What do you mean he's getting deported?
 * Sheldon:  I believe it means that the U.S. government is going to expel him from the country. He can then either return to his native India, emigrate to another country that's willing to accept him, or wander the high seas as a stateless pirate. (long pause ensues) Personally, I'd choose pirate.


 * Raj: I don't want to go back to India. It's hot and loud, and there are so many people, (pauses) you have no idea, they are everywhere.


 * (Sheldon is doing some research)
 * Raj: Sheldon, are you busy?
 * Sheldon: "Of course," I'm busy.
 * Raj: Shall I wait?
 * Sheldon: Yes, please.
 * (Raj waits)
 * Sheldon: (8 seconds later) How may I help you?
 * Raj: I've reconsidered your offer to let me work with you.
 * Sheldon: For me.
 * Raj: Yes, for you.


 * Penny: Hey, want to get a little crazy?
 * Leonard: What are you thinking?
 * Penny: Let's slide over to Sheldon's spot and make out.
 * Leonard: (turned on)  You are a dirty girl!


 * Howard: Well, usually, on Sundays, I go with Raj to scam on hippie chicks at the farmers market, but he’s still working with Sheldon, so I thought I’d come over here and make you guys scrambled eggs and salami. It’s the perfect meal for apres l’amour.
 * Penny: Oh, kill me.
 * Howard: By the way, I couldn’t help overhearing your big finish. Bravo, Leonard.
 * Penny: See, if you had killed me when I said kill me, I wouldn’t have had to hear that.


 * Sheldon: Dr. Koothrappali, as your superior, I forbid you from writing on my board!
 * Raj: You are not my superior.
 * Sheldon: I am in every way.
 * Raj: Oh, yeah? Can you do this? (performs complex finger trick)


 * Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Raj. (Knock, knock, knock) Raj. (Knock, knock, knock) Raj.
 * Raj: (opens door) I’m busy.
 * Sheldon: Doing what?
 * Raj: (Performs finger trick again)
 * Sheldon: All right, you’ve made your point.