Carnage

I'm calling this one early. It's gonna be a perfect day. 2x08 - Carnage Hard to say why exactly, but things are just going my way. Jonah's "dumbo-trons" are offline, so I'm swinging the rant-free skies. What? I had almost nothing to do with it. Even the birds are singing. My life is good. Hold up. Whoa. Whoa, hey. Whoa! Whoa! Exploding killer bats? Auto-pilot, on! I have a "bat" feeling about this. Ha. Get it? Bat. Hear about the sick vampire? He went from bat to worse. Why do I have the feeling I've been herded towards something vile and hideous? J. Jonah Jameson, back on the air to prove that the antics of that wall-crawling menace Whoa! Spider-man, you never call, you never write. The Goblin ferocious, deadly, and, worst of all, he's my best friend Harry's dad. What's your beef, chief? Aside from being, you know, insane. It's a special day, arachnid. I want to make sure you don't spoil it. Take your little goblins to work day? Surprisingly close. You're not the only one who spent his allowance on cool, new tech. Centripetal force, don't let me down. Please let it have been that easy. Your antics have escalated from amusement to aggravation. People, clear out of here. Go! Go! Get out! It's gonna be okay. Just run. Rest in torment, Spider-man. I have a family matter to attend to. Family matter? No! Rumors of my flattening to a pancake have been greatly exaggerated. Thanks, Tiger. I almost had him. You survived a full two minutes against the Goblin. That's a win. Maybe. But it won't count for squat if we don't move now. Gobbie said it was a family matter. It can only mean he's after Harry. Goblin is crazy in the cabeza, Webs. Can't trust anything he says. - Do you have a plan? - I'm just gonna wing it. Wing it. Where was that quip when I was fighting robo-bats? Kidding. I have a plan. Hang in the shadows while I get up close and personal. Are you sure about seeing Harry again? You two haven't exactly been on great terms lately. Not to mention that he hates Spider-man. You kiddin'? We're the bestest of pals. So to what do I owe the pleasure of a Parker sighting? Yeah. Awkward. Truth is, between being ultimate spider "me" and life in general, I haven't made time for Harry. So how do I tell him his crazy, super-villain father is coming to get him? Wheel of bad news! Your dad was giving away exploding pumpkins at the office. Have you ever been any help? If you're here to tell me about my dad, it's old news. Yeah, I saw him. On tv. And I was worried. What if Norman still has the goop that made you into Venom? He could try again. Don't worry. Man, monster, doesn't matter. He's given up on me. I'm used to being alone. Ouch. Should I tell Harry the truth? That I'm Spider-man and I know exactly why his dad went off the deep end? Harry, there's something I need to tell you. Get down! - Goblin? - Dad? - Gentlemen. - Run! My costume! Yoo-hoo, Petey, don't catch cold crime fighting without me. Brilliant, Pete. Come on, backup. Do your backup thing. Hey, get away from P from that random kid who we do not know personally. Yeah. That random, defenseless, and wimpy kid. Hey. You had me at "random. " This way. There's gotta be a way out. Come on. Up here. Uh-oh. Stay back, Pete. I got this. Leave him out of this, dad. It's me you want. Hardly. Okay. This is creepy even for you. Peter Parker, I want you. Ah, welcome home, son. What do you want? Let me go. Did you just say "son"? The son I've always wanted. Harry and I share a few recessant genes, but nothing more. You're smarter, more driven. And as a wimpy, defenseless kid, you appreciate power. You can be a greater creation than the late, great Spider-man. What did you just put in me? What am I gonna turn into? Spider-Goblin? Human spider? Uh miscellaneous? It's just an old family recipe. Help you grow big and strong. Yes. Hoo. Obey, Symbiote. Perfect. Look at the absolute carnage you've wrought. Hmm. "Carnage. " I like it! Still alive? No! Find them, rip them to shreds. Bring me Spider-man. Then you can be part of the family. Nooo! You said he took the Parker boy. Any idea why? No. And he was after Pete specifically. It was like I wasn't even there. - He must have gone after Goblin. - Not unless he did so without this. Maybe Gobbie knows about Parker's icky sticky side. It was an Oscorp spider that gave Pete his powers. Osborn could consider him his son. Don't worry. SHIELD will take care of everything. - What is what is that? - You okay, kid? Hold up. Look. Problem solved. - How many costumes does he have? - That's not Spider-man. Who else travels by web? - Uh-oh. - The Symbiote. Venom? That is not Venom. It is the Symbiote, but, no Pete! This Venom indeed seems different. It's definitely pointier. Whoa! And peppier. I'm guessing too much caffeine. Or the Goblin improved on the original formula. No! Stop! Did I do that? I didn't do that. I said stop. You know who I am. We were Venom. We have a bond. That's right. We're friends. We're family. That's it, Harry! We're doing it. You're doing it. We are Venom. And we are going to end this once and for all. End it? Harry, no, wait! Stop! You guys take care of Fury. I've got a family feud to stop. Venom, buddy, you did some great work back there. Great work. Go. Or be destroyed. Look, I know I'm not your BFF or anything, but if we stand any chance against the Goblin, I need you and you need me. Truce? Look what we have here. Temporary truce? Spider-man, right where I want you. Under foot. Carnage. Truly you are my son. A triumph. Unlike Venom. Yes, father. I want to prove myself. By ridding the world of you! Obey your creator, Symbiote. Come to me. Better. Now oh! You will obey! Okay, that's enough! Ah. Working together? Intriguing. Just because he's confused doesn't mean you have to be. Rewind. Whoops. Too far back. - Truce? - Yes. This time only. To get it over with. Good. Now give me the alley-oop on three. Alley oop! Actually, forget I showed you that. That's what I call teamwork. Dad, stop! What do you think? The Arachna men? Webbed wonders? Spider-man and his amazing goo-covered frenemy? - Ow. - Shut up and get the job done. I want this over. Because we have a score to settle. Kinda giving me mixed signals, Venom. You got faced in your freaky face, Goblin. It's over. - Not quite. - Whoa. Harry. Venom, both of you, we won. It's done. Oh! It won't be done until he's gone. Touching, Spider-man, but I can take care of my own mess. Gah! Not helping. Hey! That one almost hit me. I can't let you do this. No matter what he's done. Only one chance. Spidey to team. Lock onto my coordinates. I need you guys now. We're almost there. Iron Fist, good. Try not to be shocked, but I have an actual plan. Give up, Harry. We both know you don't have it in you. I just wanted to make you proud. But since that will never happen I'll just make you go away. Forever! - Harry. Stop. - Parker. You don't need to do this. I know you've been hurt, Harry. I know I've let you down too. But we can't give up on the people we care about, Harry. Not ever. You didn't give up on me. I won't give up on you. He's a monster. I'm a monster. No. That suit is the monster. You're my friend. My best friend. My family. And I know my friend Harry still believes his dad can be saved. Dad? No! Father is gone forever. You and I is family. We is one. I won my father back, and I won't give up. I won't. In spite of everything, I love him. Get out! No! Okay. That was just wow. Wow indeed. But I find it more intriguing that young Mr. Parker just happened to arrive when Spider-man is nowhere to be found. Something you're not telling us, Pe Still kicking? Indeed. I do. Kick a lot. With my feet. Not much left in the clever quips reserve. To me, Harry. We've got unfinished business. Whoa! Your father would be proud of you today. Son. Harry! I've got him. Puke face is making a break for it! Look, Harry, it's Spider-man. Yeah, I see him, Pete. Right in front of us. Yup, you did it again, Spidey. No wonder all chicks dig you ynd all men want to be you. Yes, it is I, the Spider-man. It is as I always say. With great power comes inner peace, oneness, and tranquility. Plus I shoot webs. Yes, Siree. Thanks for that pearl of whatever. Don't you have a Goblin to chase? Namaste. Psst. Hey. How do I thwip? Two fingers. And do not use up all my web fluid. Hyah! - Good job, pal. - Back at you, buddy. He got away? After the trouncing we gave him, he was trashed. Yeah, so were we, arach-nerd. It was far from a loss, Spider-man. SHIELD recovered the Venom Symbiote. It finally won't be causing anymore trouble. - You have something of mine? - Hard to let go, isn't it? Go on. Tell 'em what it was like to play everyone's favorite web-slinger? The suit was binding in the armpits, and the mask smelled of stale milkshake. If you'll excuse me, I gotta go be non-super. Give a bud a ride? - And do what? - Just hang out. - Hop in. - Thanks for not giving up on me. Same. And I'm sure you see Spider-man in a new light. Let's not push it. - Agree to disagree? - I can live with that. Catch a movie? PS I have no cash. Oscorp owns the theater. Okay, so maybe not a perfect day, but I've got my friend back. Let's just call it a win.