Here's Mud in Your Ed

''[Sarah, Jimmy, and Jonny are playing in the sandbox. Sarah and Jimmy are on one side, making castles.]'' Sarah: "Ready? Whee!" [She lifts the bucket, revealing a perfectly formed castle.] Jimmy: "I'm as happy as the day is long, Sarah!" Jonny: [looking through binoculars] "Okay, you tell me, because I am stumped!" [He lets Plank look.] ''[Jimmy puts icing all over the castle. Sarah then adds four candles. Jonny and Plank look at each other, confused. Sarah then adds a cherry to the top.]'' Jonny: "Well if they can make a cake out of dirt, we can make a doughnut!" [He grabs a shovel only to find Sarah holding on to the end of it.] "Me and Plank are making a doughnut!" Sarah: "So what? We were using that." Jonny: "Don't you like doughnuts?" [Sarah throws him into the cake.] "Are you a doughnut hater?" Sarah: [swinging Jonny around] "Gimme it, Jonny!" [Plank is hit into a mud puddle.] "You and Plank can get your own shovel!" [Plank swells up to enormous proportions.] Jonny: "You got Plank wet!" ''[He draws the shovel back, and then lets Sarah have it. The shovel hits Sarah in the face.]'' Jimmy: "Let's share! Please? We were having so much fun!" Sarah: [getting up] "JONNY!" [She proceeds to pound Jonny.] Jimmy: "Stop it! Stop it, you two! My heart is sinking into a sea of sadness!" Eddy: [by the fence, with Ed] "It's the match of the century, huh Lumpy? Mammoth Mouth versus Gargantuan Head!" Ed: "Not for me, Eddy. Without the bun, a sausage has no home." [Edd approaches.] Jimmy: "I'm so unhappy!" ''[He runs away crying. Eddy laughs.]'' Edd: "Oh dear! Jimmy's upset. Perhaps I can help." [He moves to go to Jimmy.] Eddy: [hauling Edd back] "Oh no you don't! If there's any helpin'-doin' around here, we do it for cash. 'Cause that's how we work." Ed: [dancing] "Work that body, work that body, don't you go hurt nobody."

Edd: [as Eddy examines himself in a mirror] "Are we all set, gentlemen?" ''[Ed puts a clothes hanger in his mouth to make a huge fake grin. Jimmy comes by crying.]'' Edd: "Having a bad day, friend?" Eddy: "Kiss that sourpuss goodbye, cuz it's nothing but good times at Smileyville!" Jimmy: "Smileyville?" Edd: "Cast away those melancholy blues! Exit your cave of despair! And get ready for a day of merriment and joyity!" [He shows Jimmy a map.] Jimmy: "A friendly Ferris wheel? A teddy bear's picnic? A candy lane!" [He smiles.] Eddy: "You're looking chipper already!" [solemnly] "But like in real life, happiness costs dough, my friend. A measly quarter is all it takes." [He makes puppy dog eyes.] Jimmy: [handing over a 25¢ piece] "Worth every penny, friend." Ed: [opening the door] "Allow me." Jimmy: "You guys are the greatest! Thank you thank you thank you!" Edd: [Waving goodbye] "Have fun, Jimmy! A merry heart goes all day! Ta-ta!" [The door shuts behind Jimmy.] "Oh, Eddy! I know Jimmy's going to love all that hard work you and Ed did inside Smileyville!" Eddy: "Let's go get a jawbreaker before he finds out."

Jimmy: [inside Smileyville] "Friendly Ferris wheel, here I come!" [He turns around and gets a shock.] "Huh?" ''[The Eds have tricked him: there was no Smileyville after all. Behind the doors lie only the lane, in its drab, un-smiley glory.]''

''[A river of tears is flowing from Jimmy to a gutter. Jimmy is crouched on a sidewalk, bawling his eyes out from the disappointment. A feather suddenly floats down beside him. He looks up to see Rolf wearing a pair of wings.]'' Rolf: "Today Rolf is forced to celebrate his traditional thank you to the noble Guardian Pigeon!" [He dances around, flapping his arms.] Jimmy: [listlessly] "If only I had a guardian pigeon." [grabbing Rolf] "Hug me, Rolf!" Rolf: [uncomfortable] "What are you doing? Someone may be looking!" [He pushes Jimmy away.] Jimmy: "BUT I'VE HAD A HORRIBLE DAY! Filled with conflict, turmoil, and Eddy, who tricked me out of all my money!" Rolf: "Son of a gun! The Ed-boy? He has now just defaced two jovial moods, yes?" [plotting revenge] "Make a funny face, boy Jimmy, for the spirit of the Guardian Pigeon shall displace itself on the head of this mischief maker!" [He holds out a leg, and Jimmy leaps on it.] Jimmy: "Where are we going, Rolf?" Rolf: [hopping away] "Ask no questions! Come, Wilfred." [Wilfred drags the next scene into place.]

Eddy: [outside the candy shop, hysterical] "I swear, I just had it! Maybe I dropped it! For crying out loud, find that quarter, Double D!" Edd: "Eddy, remember? You gave the quarter to Ed for safekeeping." Eddy: "What am I, nuts?" ''[We hear Ed laughing and see him in a ride outside the candy store. The ride, coincidentally, costs exactly twenty-five cents.]'' Edd: [seeing Eddy's anger] "Now Eddy, be gentle." Eddy: "ED!" ''[Eddy leaps towards Ed. Just before he can attack, though, he stops in midair. Eddy sniffs the air once, twice...and then recognizes the scent.]'' Eddy: [dreamily] "Moolah." [He drifts towards the smell.] Edd: [disappointed] "But Eddy! What about Ed?"

''[Eddy drifts through the lane and across the street. He runs into a fence, but his nose leads him onward. He sniffs his way under the fence, where he sees an amazing sight.]'' Eddy: "Tree? Leaves? Cash? It's a Money Tree!" ''[He dives at the tree, ripping a few leaves off. He rolls around in the dollar bills.]'' "I'm rich! And it's all mine!" Rolf: "Stop, you!" [Eddy turns around slowly and sees Rolf, wearing an odd hat.] Rolf: "What are you doing to Rolf's money tree?" Eddy: "Yours?" [begging] "Let me just have a little! You can grow some more. It's a money tree, for Pete's sake!" Rolf: "What do you think, boy Jimmy?" Jimmy: "Oh!" [reading off of his hands] "Why not give him a magic money seed so Eddy can grow his own money tree in only three days?" Eddy: [excited] "Yeah Rolf! What he said!" Rolf: "Boy oh boy!" [pretending to be unsure] "Rolf is very unsure of this. Rolf cannot simply give the money tree seed to the Ed-boy. Could he? Oh, what to do, what to do." Eddy: "I'd give you anything for it. Name it! It's yours." Rolf: "Anything? Hmm. Well, this is just off the top of Rolf's head, but Rolf would like...all your worldly possessions." Eddy: [instantly accepting it] "You got it! No changing your mind, too late, it's a deal!" Rolf: "Very good! Rolf will wait at his dwelling, yes?" [Eddy runs off.] Jimmy: "Wowie wow! The Guardian Pigeon is watching over me, Rolf!" Rolf: "Tolerate the day, nauseatingly cute one, as the Guardian Pigeon has yet to drop its full load."

[Edd is reading a book called "How to Wait" while Ed continues his ride.] Eddy: [running up] "Double D! You aren't gonna believe this. Rolf got this tree! And it grows cash! Bushels full! And Rolf's giving me a seed! I'll be rich!" Edd: "Calm down, Eddy. Bother–" Eddy: [leaping into the ride with Ed] "Ed! Muscle!" ''[He carries Ed. Edd chases him.]'' Edd: "Eddy, wait! I'm confused!" [He hears something through a missing part of the fence and goes back to look.] Rolf: "Rolf could put up a roof with the brain of that Ed-boy!" Jimmy: "How gullible can you get?" Rolf: "Come, poofy-haired one, and see the wisdom of the Guardian Pigeon." ''[After they leave, Edd goes over and picks up one of the dollar bills. He looks it over. On the back is a soup label.]'' Edd: "What an effortless attempt at reproducing common currency. Not to mention a complete waste of an otherwise fine soup label." [He realizes he's all alone.] "I've really got to learn to stop talking to myself."

[Jimmy and Rolf are on Rolf's doorstep, having drinks.] Jimmy: "You know, Rolf, I have some skin moisturizers you really must try!" Rolf: "Uh...thank you, no, Rolf is good." ''[Jimmy and Rolf each sip their drinks. Ed and Eddy come trundling up, carrying the contents of Eddy's room on their backs.]'' Eddy: "Here you go, Dracula, everything I own in this whole stinking world! Now gimme that seed! C'mon! Gimme it!" Rolf: [handing over the seed bag] "A deal is a deal." Eddy: "I'm rich! Let's plant it and rake in!" [He grabs Ed's jacket.] Ed: "Cold!" Jimmy: "My cheeks are cramping, I'm so giddy! This is the bestest day I've ever had!" [He hugs Rolf.] "Let's celebrate with cookies and milk, Rolf!" Rolf: [peeling Jimmy off] "Cookies and Milk? Do you wish Rolf ridiculed at the Son-of-a-Shepherd Social Club? Come, let us stuff innards into the membrane of a sow." Edd: [showing up too late] "Eddy?!?"

[Ed is ripping boards up in Eddy's room.] Ed: "Cluck cluck cluck. This is fun!" ''[Edd takes in the scene. Everything from Eddy's room is gone, and Ed is pulling up boards to create a dirt patch in Eddy's room. Eddy is happily tossing the seed bag too himself.]'' Ed: "Ooh! Look at me!" Edd: [appalled] "Have your mother and father seen what you've done, Eddy? Because when they do, YOU'LL PAY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR GREED!" Ed: "Yes he will, Double D, 'cause Eddy's gonna buy them a new house." Eddy: "Cuz I got a magic money tree seed." [Edd stands there, stupefied.] "And when it sprouts, I'll buy you a new hat." Edd: [holding out the fake banknote] "What, with this Eddy? A crudely drawn bank note on the back of a soup label?" [Eddy looks at the label.] Eddy: "No, with the oodles of dough from my money tree!" [He opens the bag, revealing the seed.] Edd: "That is not a seed, Eddy. That is a discarded spool." [Eddy stands there, stunned into silence.] Eddy: "THEY HAD THE NERVE TO FLEECE ME?!? Well, two can play at this game! Quick, I got a plan!" ''[He grabs Ed. He reaches for Edd, but Edd does not immediately comply.]'' "Plan, I said!" Edd: [hopping from one foot to the other] "I can't, Eddy!" Eddy: "Whaddya mean, you can't?" Edd: "Because I desperately need to use the lavatory! An unfortunate reaction to this stressful situation, I'm sure." Ed: "You still got me, Eddy!" Eddy: [sarcastic] "Boy, ain't I lucky."

''[Rolf is in bed, wide awake. On the other side of his, room, Jimmy is humming as he puts up flowered wallpaper.]'' Rolf: "Boy Jimmy, when might you be going home?" Eddy: [from outside] "Holy cow! Look at this?" [Under a streetlight sits a bush covered in meat.] "It's a bush that grows meat!" Ed: "Let's get some gravy!" [He pulls out a puppet of Edd.] Puppet Edd: "Yep! Even me as Double D finds this really kinda logical!" Eddy: "You said it, Double D!" [holding up a jar of dirt] "I just used this magic, meat-growing dirt! I'll take everything you got for a trade, huh?" Rolf: [not buying a syllable of this] "Ha ha ho! This fool thinks Rolf and boy Jimmy will fall for his shenanigans!" Jimmy: "Goofy Grape" Rolf: "Manure boy!" ''[He pulls his shutters closed. Edd arrives.]'' Edd: "Well well well. Seems one can't tend to their natural functions without being REPLACED by some RAG-TAG HAND PUPPET!" Eddy: "Hold this." [He throws the jar of dirt in Edd's face.] Puppet Edd: "Oh dear. I fell!"

[Eddy is hammering on Rolf's door.] Eddy: "GIVE ME BACK MY STUFF! YOU JERKS RIPPED ME OFF!" [He throws his body against the door.] Rolf: "Ed boy! Please stop! I beg of you, don't wake Nana! Silence, yes? Thank you." Eddy: "Silence? I'll give you silence!" [He picks Ed up and uses him to batter the door.] Ed: [each time he hits the door] "Who's there? Who's there? Who is there?" Rolf: "Ed-boy! Have mercy! Forgive Rolf, and Rolf will make good by giving you...the real money tree seed?" Eddy: [questioning] "Real money tree seed?" Edd: [sure Eddy isn't that gullible] "Oh, puh-leeze! Do you really think Eddy would fall for that old–" Eddy: "Deal!" ''[Rolf holds Jimmy out the window. In Jimmy's hand is clutched a bolt.]'' Eddy: "I'm rich!" ''[He runs over and kicks the meat bush out of the way. Eddy plunges the seed into the ground and waters it. He then puts up a small fence and a sign saying "Eddy's Plant."]'' "And it's mine. ALL mine!" [He giggles greedily.] Ed: "Even I am not that dumb, Double D." Edd: "An iris-in would be appropriate, don't you think?" [The camera irises-in on Eddy's plant as Eddy continues to chortle gleefully.] Edd: "Thank you."