Put Your Head on My Shoulders


 * [Opening Credits. Caption: Not Based On The Novel by James Fenimore Cooper.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. On the TV the heads of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln sit on podiums in front of a red curtain.]

Lincoln: [on TV] Four score and 1145 years ago our forefathers' foreheads conceived a new nation. Washington: [on TV] And this Presidents' Day we honoureth those values that my body fought and died for.
 * [Behind the heads the curtain opens and reveals a car showroom. The salesman, a robot with pieces falling off, points to a car.]

Malfunctioning Eddie: [on TV] Values like this brand new Plymouth V'Ger! Hi, I'm Malfunctioning Eddie and I'm malfunctioning so badly I'm practically giving these cars away! Amy: Hey, let's go car shopping! My parents promised if I got all B's they'd buy me a bar, and I got all C's! Bender: Mind if I tag along? I gotta bring my ass in for servicing. [He picks up a recall notice.] The recall notice says it could burst into flames in a low-speed collision. Fry: No wonder you've been staying at the back of conga lines lately. Leela: I'll get my coat. Let's go, Bender.
 * [She taps his ass with a rolled-up newspaper and it bursts into flames. Amy, Fry and Leela recoil in horror.]
 * [Scene: Malfunctioning Eddie's Showroom. A man with an accent introduces himself to Amy.]

Victor: Hello, I am Victor and I know many things about the art of unloading fine cars on beautiful women.
 * [He kisses her hand.]

Leela: Uh-huh. Now tell us she's witty and sophisticated. Victor: Ah-ah-ah! A gentleman always sells a lady a car first. [He takes Amy over to a car.] This is the Beta Romeo. Yes, the Beta Romeo. Note the cross-your-heart seat belt which protects, lifts and separates.
 * [At the coffee machine Fry pours himself a cup. A salesman puts his hand on his shoulder.]

Thundercougarfalconbird salesman: Spotted her the minute you walked in, didn't you, sir? She's a real beauty. Fry: Yup, she's beautiful coffee alright. Salesman: No, the Ford Thundercougarfalconbird! [He takes Fry over to a car.] Nothing makes you feel more like a man than a Thundercougarfalconbird. So how much were you thinking of spending on this Thundercougarfalconbird? Fry: Sorry, I'm not here to buy. Salesman: I understand, and it's wonderful you don't care whether anyone questions your sexual orientation. Fry: I care! I care plenty! I just don't know how to make them stop! Salesman: One word: Thundercougarfalconbird!
 * [Amy and Victor sit in the Beta Romeo.]

Victor: The luxurious seats are stuffed with eagle down and the dashboard inlaid with the beaks of a thousand eagles. Also, there are some eagles under the floorboards. Amy: That's an awful lot of eagle. Victor: Yes, and yet--
 * [He sighs.]

Amy: What's wrong? Victor: It is just ... the luxury edition has so much more eagle. It saddens me to think of you missing out. Amy: Oh, don't be sad. My parents are paying and they're incredibly rich.
 * [Victor raises his right eyebrow and pushes it down again with his finger.]
 * [Scene: Service Department. Bender lies on a raised platform and a mechanic drills into his back, causing him pain. The mechanic lowers him to the floor and he gets up.]

Mechanic: I installed shock-absorbing bumpers to reduce the risk of catastrophic butt failure.
 * [Bender turns around and gasps at what he sees grafted to his butt.]

Bender: You, sir, have defaced a national treasure! I demand you restore my buttocks to their former glory.
 * [He gets back onto the platform.]

Mechanic: Alright. But sooner or later that ass is gonna blow, and when it does, I just pray you're not moonin' someone you care about.
 * [Scene: Malfunctioning Eddie's Showroom. Amy and Leela look under the bonnet of the Beta Romeo.]

Amy: Smeesh, Leela! This car has everything a beautiful woman like me needs. Victor said so.
 * [Victor chuckles.]

Victor: [quietly; to himself] No dog food for Victor tonight.
 * [Leela closes the bonnet.]

Leela: OK, the sticker says 55,000, but we'll only go as high as, say--
 * [Amy puts her hand in the air.]

Amy: 60,000!
 * [Leela sighs.]

Victor: Oh, I will have to ask my manager.
 * [He walks into Malfunctioning Eddie's office.]

Leela: Amy, you don't go up from the sticker price. Amy: I thought it was an auction.
 * [Through the office window, we see Victor say something to Eddie. Eddie smiles and they both dance. Victor comes back out again.]

Victor: He is not too happy. Amy: I'm sorry. 80,000?
 * [Eddie's head explodes.]
 * [Scene: New New York City Street. Amy and the others drive back to the Planet Express building. Outside, she prepares to park the car.]

Amy: Uh-oh. I'm terrible at parallel parking.
 * [The car moves into a space sideways then shunts two cars in front and behind it.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express Corridor. Fry and Leela walk past Hermes' office.]

Hermes: [from inside] And now you're asking for a day off? Get out of my and my sight! [Fry and Leela look at each other and shrug.] You're bogarting my patience.
 * [The door opens and Hermes walks out.]

Leela: Hermes, who were you yelling at? Hermes: Myself. I asked myself a Valentine's Day off, but I was in no mood for any of my shenanigans. Fry: Valentine's Day's coming? Oh, crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again. Well, since neither of us has a date, why don't we...? Leela: You just assume I can't get a Valentine's date? Fry: Shall we say eight o'clock?
 * [Enter Amy.]

Amy: Hey, I'm taking my new car out for a spin to Mercury. Anybody wanna come? Fry: Yeah, OK. What's the weather like? Amy: The usual: Boiling lead, oceans of lava. Fry: So, what? Shorts?
 * [Scene: Amy's Car. They drive across the Mercurial surface listening to music.]

Fry: Boy, this A.C. is incredible! [He shivers.] I'd better turn on the heater too. ''[He does and the fuel gauge starts to go down. They pass Hg's Fuel, the only fuel station on the planet.] [shouting]'' Boy, this heater is incredible! I'd better turn up the A.C. some more. Amy: [shouting] Hey, how about some icy margaritas? Fry: [shouting] Yeah! ''[He pushes a button and two glasses and a mixer comes out. The fuel gauge drops further.]'' We're slowing down! Amy: [shouting] Don't worry. I'll hit the fuel guzzler!
 * [She presses a button and the car accelerates.]

Fry: [shouting] Who wants pop-tarts? ''[He puts the pop-tarts in the toaster and turns it on full. The engine stops, the heater and A.C. go off, the mixer stops and the car jerks to a halt, then falls to the ground. Amy gasps and sees the fuel gauge is empty. Fry takes his shades off and sees the sign to Hg's Fuel; 4750 miles one way, 4750 miles the other way.]'' Uh-oh! Amy: It's OK, I have an emergency phone.
 * [She picks up a make-up case and applies blusher to her cheeks.]

Fry: What are you doing? Amy: Spluh! It's a video-phone. ''[She presses a button on the steering wheel and a screen and dialling pad fold out. She dials.]'' Lucky I'm a member of the Astro-Afro-Antarctico-Amer-Asian Auto Association. [A man appears on the screen.] Hello? Septuple-A?
 * [The sun beats down on the planet. Beads of sweat pour down Fry's face. He leans back over the seat and pulls the hood over the car.]

Fry: Phew!
 * [Amy finishes her call and sighs.]

Amy: It'll be a couple hours. Oh, I'm gonna get sweat on my sweat-suit.
 * [She pulls the zip on her top down.]

Fry: Hey, tell me something: You've got all this money, how come you always dress like you're doing your laundry? Amy: I guess 'cause my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. [She scoffs.] As though! Fry: I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the Pope?
 * [Amy laughs.]

Amy: Yeah, and if you were the Pope they'd be all, "Straighten your Pope hat," and, "Put on your good vestments." [Fry laughs then Amy joins in.] You know, Fry, it's nice to find someone I can talk to about stuff, and junk. Fry: Yeah, it's like we feel the same way about junk and stuff, or, whatever.
 * [He smiles. She smiles back.]
 * [Scene: Mercury Surface. Later, the sun is setting and the Septuple-A recovery truck arrives. A man gets out and sees the car hood is steamed up. He laughs, rubs off the condensation and peers inside. Amy and Fry each hold a hand of cards. The man sighs disappointedly.]
 * [Cut to: Amy's Car. The recovery truck tows it.]

Amy: So while they're towin' us, you wanna do it? Fry: Yeah.
 * [They kiss and disappear below the seats. The man laughs again.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. The next morning, the staff sit around the table as Hermes presents a chart to them.]

Hermes: Which concludes the summary of the movie I saw last night. Now, any old business? All: [simultaneous] No. Hermes: Any new business? All: [simultaneous] No. Hermes: Anyone spend the night together?
 * [Everyone except Fry and Amy replies "No".]

Amy: Yep. Fry: Kind of.
 * [Everyone gasps.]

Bender: What? Hermes: Oh, my God! Amy: We ran out of fuel on Mercury and one thing led to another. Fry: And it led there again when we got home.
 * [He and Amy chuckle.]

Bender: Congratulations, Fry, you snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she's probably got other characteristics. Leela: Bender! Romance isn't about money. Bender: Oh, so it's just coincidence that Zoidberg here is desperately poor and miserably lonely? Puh-lease! Leela: For your information, it's because he's hideous.
 * [Zoidberg sighs.]

Hermes: Well I think Amy and Fry go together like a lime and coconut. Farnsworth: Do I hear wedding bells? Fry: What? No! Farnsworth: Really? Oh, dear.
 * [He pats the side of his head. Zoidberg sighs.]

Zoidberg: You're both very lucky. I'd pay anything to end my miserable loneliness. If only I weren't so desperately poor. Bender: Wait. You mean people will pay good money for romance? Hmm. I think I have a scheme so deviously clever that I--
 * [Scene: Courtroom. The judge bangs his gavel.]

Judge: $500 and time served. Bender: Stupid anti-pimping laws! [He turns to Leela.] Well, pay the man!
 * [He struts out. His two Hookerbots follow him.]

Hookerbot: Bender, honey, we love you! Bender: Shut up, baby, I know it!
 * [Scene: Planet Express Corridor. Bender hammers a sign on a door that has "Bender's Computing Dating Service. Discreet And Discrete" written on it.]

Bender: Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head". Leela: Bender, this is stupid. Why would anyone come to you for romantic help? Bender: Hey! Don't make me go upside your head!
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Zoidberg's Office. Zoidberg files his claws while Hermes knocks on the supply room door.]

Hermes: [shouting] Fry! Amy! Put your pants back on! I need a stapler.
 * [He struggles to open the locked door. Zoidberg blocks his way.]

Zoidberg: Stop! Stop! If you interrupt the mating dance the male will become enraged and maul us with his fearsome gonad.
 * [Cut to: Planet Express: Supply Room.]

Fry: [whispering] It's working, they think we're making out. [They laugh then juggle.] Wait, why aren't we making out? Amy: I 'unno.
 * [They kiss and drop to the floor.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express Corridor. Outside the lounge, Larry, Lou and a saleswoman from Alien Overlord &amp; Taylor queue to use Bender's dating service.]
 * [Cut to: Planet Express: Lounge. Bender has set up his dating service at the table and is about to interview a client.]

Bender: OK, Mister...? Zapp: Uh, Smith! Zapp Smith. Uh, Brannigan. Bender: Just check off the things you're looking for in a love partner.
 * [He hands Zapp a sheet of paper.]

Zapp: Let's see ... Oh, yes! [He punches out a hole.] Yes, definitely. [He punches out another.] Oh, I'd like some of that. [Another one.] Mmm, I'll just have everything on the menu.
 * [He punches out the rest of the holes and hands it back to Bender.]

Bender: Now to run it through our high-speed romance-a-logical data-fier. ''[He screws up the sheet and throws it in his chest cabinet and imitates a computer by beeping. He then pulls out a random sheet and hands it to Zapp.]'' Say hello to Miss Right! Zapp: [sexfully] Hello!
 * [He rubs the paper against his chest.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Supply Room. Amy and Fry finish making out. Fry gasps.]

Fry: Wow! We're great kissers! Amy: Yeah! Hey, later, you wanna drive out to Europa? We could have a picnic and spit watermelon seeds at Jupiter. Fry: Hey, yeah! I used to spit at stuff back in the 20th century. Ah, it's cool how we sort of think exactly alike, and junk. Amy: Yeah. Y'know, Fry, I really like hanging out with you.
 * [Fry is shocked.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Hangar. Leela welds a section of the cargo lift while Fry paces backwards and forwards.]

Fry: Everything was going great. Then, all of a sudden, she's talking about hanging out. Hanging out? She's getting way too serious. I'm not a one woman man, Leela. Leela: You'll be back to zero soon enough. Fry: Don't you get it? She's smothering me.
 * [Amy walks past.]

Amy: Hi. Fry: You see? You see? Now she's bothering me when I'm at work. Leela: Fry-- Fry: I'm doing my job, there's Amy; I spend a few hours selecting a candy from the machine, there's Amy; I wake up the morning after sleeping with Amy, there's Amy! Leela: I think you're over reacting. Fry: Am I? [shouting] Am I? [talking] Face it, I'm a prize catch. [He belches.] I mean, I'm pulling down delivery boy money. Leela: Fry, she's pulling down billionaire trust-fund money. Fry: Then she wants me as a trophy husband. Leela, you gotta come to Europa with us. I can't be alone with her.
 * [Amy arrives with a picnic basket.]

Amy: So, ready for a secluded picnic with just you and me? Fry: Hey, you know who loves secluded picnics with just you and me? ''[He looks over Amy's shoulder at Leela. She shakes her head.]'' Uh, Dr. Zoidberg.
 * [Zoidberg, scavenging through a dustbin, looks up.]

Zoidberg: Did someone say something about a free hot meal?
 * [Scene: Amy, Fry and Zoidberg listen to Scruffy the Cat's Moons of Jupiter as they drive to Europa. They pass the orbiting Monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey which has an "Out of Order" note taped to it and drive across the icy surface.]
 * [Cut to: Amy's Car. Zoidberg eats the contents of the picnic basket.]

Zoidberg: Mmm, I haven't eaten since Tuesday! Bird eggs, animal slices ... [He gobbles down the food.] ... dry woven reeds! [He eats the basket.] All gone! Can I drive? Amy: No. So, Fry, you busy tomorrow? I got two tickets to the big ape fight. Fry: Jeez, we're already planning to spend Valentine's Day together. Isn't that enough? Amy: OK, sure. What do you wanna do for Valentine's Day? Fry: Oh, so all of a sudden we're spending Valentine's Day together? Amy: But you just said-- Fry: That's it, Amy, we have to talk. Zoidberg, you drive. Zoidberg: Wahoo!
 * [Cut to: Outside Amy's Car. The car tips as they change places.]

Fry: [from inside] Pardon me, excuse me.
 * [Cut to: Amy's Car. Zoidberg is at the wheel while Fry and Amy are in the back.]

Zoidberg: Ah, I'll just turn the wheel to maximum fastness!
 * [He turns it. Amy screams.]

Fry: Amy, you know how at first you like chocolate but then you start to get tired of it because it always wants to hang out with you? Amy: Huh? You don't like chocolate? Fry: Look, could chocolate just let me finish? Zoidberg: Vroom, vroom! And the winner of the big car race is ... Hot Rod Zoidberg!
 * [He mimes a crowd cheering.]

Fry: Amy, what I'm trying to say is, I think maybe you and I should stop--
 * [Something in the front snaps. Zoidberg has pulled the wheel off.]

Zoidberg: Uh-oh. Here, you drive!
 * [He offers the wheel to Fry. The car spins out of control, hitting chunks of ice. It heads straight for a huge mountain of ice. Fry screams and the car crashes.]
 * [Scene: Europa Surface. Fry comes to. Zoidberg looks over him.]

Zoidberg: Fry? Are you alright? Fry: Ow! My head is killing me. What happened? Was anybody hurt? Zoidberg: No, no, no, no, no, of course not. Nobody but you. I'm afraid your body was badly damaged in the crash. Fry: How badly? Zoidberg: That's it over there. ''[He points to Fry's headless body. Fry screams.]'' Don't worry, I managed to keep your head alive with some quick surgery.
 * [Fry moves his eyes up and down.]

Fry: Where is it?
 * [Zoidberg points.]

Zoidberg: There.
 * [Fry turns to his right and sees Amy's head. Zoidberg has grafted his head onto her left shoulder.]

Amy: Looks like we'll be spending a lot more time together, Fry!
 * [Fry screams.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Farnsworth and Zoidberg inspect Fry's body. Leela tuts.]

Leela: This sort of thing always happens with office romances. Zoidberg: Don't worry, Fry, we'll have your body all fixed up in a few days. [He lifts Fry's body up over his shoulder.] Upsy daisy!
 * [He walks out of the room, hitting the body on the walls on the way out. Fry whimpers.]

Fry: Well, Amy, I'll try not to interfere with your life too much.
 * [Amy appears to pick her nose.]

Amy: Fry! Fry: Ooh, sorry. I guess I control that arm.
 * [He waves the arm around and hoots.]

Amy: So, what was it you wanted to talk about before we crashed anyway? Fry: Oh, that. [He turns and sees Farnsworth sweeping behind them.] Maybe we'd better talk in private. [whispering] I'll meet you in the closet.
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Supply Room.]

Fry: Amy, I really like you, as a friend. But I think we're spending too much time together. Amy: You're breaking up with me? Fry: I just think we should start seeing other people. Amy: But, I was really having fun. [She sighs.] If that's how you feel. Fry: I'm sorry, but it is. Amy: Well, whatever. Hey, listen, as long as we're not seeing each other, you mind if I ask someone else out for Valentine's Day? Fry: Huh? Amy: I mean, unless it would make you feel bad, being a third wheel. Fry: Hey, I can get a date too. Now that I'm single, I'll attract all sorts of women! Amy: With my body I think you might only attract one sort of woman. Fry: [happy] Oh! [disappointed] Oh!
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Bender drinks from a bottle. Leela sits down and plays with his "Dating Consultant" nameplate nonchalantly.]

Leela: So, how's business?
 * [Bender opens his chest cabinet, revealing a huge pile of money. He pulls out a $500 note.]

Bender: Are you familiar with my friend Al Gore? I'm tellin' you, losers get really desperate around Valentine's Day. Leela: Yeah, it's pathetic alright! ''[She whistles. Bender hums.]'' How much? Bender: 500 bucks. Leela: Done. Bender: Zapp Brannigan OK? Leela: No! Bender: 600.
 * [Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. Enter Leela who sees Fry and Amy playing table tennis. Fry sees Leela.]

Fry: Oh, hey, Leela, uh, can I talk to you for a minute? [He turns to Amy.] In private? Amy: Oh, no problem.
 * [She puts her fingers in her ears and sings to herself in Chinese.]

Fry: This is an emergency. Amy made Valentine's plans with some goon and I'm gonna be stuck there, lonely and miserable. Will you be my date, please? Leela: You're too late, Fry. I'm sharing Valentine's Day with a very special man. He's not Zapp Brannigan or anything! Fry: Then I have no choice but to do something so pitiful and embarrassing that I'm ashamed to tell you about it. Leela: Bender's in his office. Fry: Thanks.
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Amy continues to sing while Fry does business with Bender.]

Bender: I got your hook-up, Fry. Now, my usual fee's 500 bucks, but seeing as how it's you, I'll need it in advance.
 * [Scene: Amy's Apartment. Amy dresses herself while Fry "helps".]

Amy: OK, Fry, we're done putting on the bra. Fry: Why exactly did you shave your legs anyway? Are you expecting something to happen with your Valentine's date? Amy: What business is it of yours? Fry: And another thing: You're using an awful lot of make-up there. Amy: This is deodorant. Fry: What does it do?
 * [The doorbell rings. Amy reaches for her dress.]

Amy: [shouting] C'mon in, Gary! I'll just be another 20 minutes. Gary: [from outside] I'll be waiting. Fry: 20 minutes? You're practically ready now! Amy: Yeah, but it's good to make them wait a little. Fry: Oh, God, it's true!
 * [Scene: Elzar's Fine Cuisine. Amy, Gary and Fry sit at a table. Fry eats a hamburger.]

Gary: That dress looks great on you. Amy: [simultaneous] Thanks. Fry: [simultaneous] Thanks. [He watches the door.] Where is she? Gary: I must say, Amy, you're all made up, just like Fry's date. Get it?
 * [Amy shakes her head.]

Amy: Mm-mm. Fry: I've got a date. She'll be along any minute.
 * [Enter Bender with an old woman.]

Bender: Fry, look who I found! It's Petunia, your dream girl! Petunia: How's them eats? Fry: Uh-- Petunia: Don't mind if I do. [She puts the hamburger into her handbag.] Kids'll be hungry. Fry: [whispering] She seems a little old for me. Bender: She is well-travelled. And I don't mean she travels a lot! Petunia: Wheels fell off my house. Bender: Now how about a rose for the lady? Five bucks a pop! Gary: I'll take one. Fry: Oh, yeah? Well I want one too. Bender: Eight bucks. Fry: But you just said-- Bender: Demand suddenly skyrocketed. You all saw it!
 * [On another table, Leela sits alone. She sighs. Bender arrives.]

Bender: Leela, meet your future husband Sal.
 * [Sal wears blue overalls and has a cigarette in his mouth. He cringes.]

Sal: Nice eyeball, eyeball. Leela: Nice ass, ass. Bender: Ooh, sparks! [whispering] Buy her a rose, I guarantee she'll put out!
 * [Sal considers then sits down.]

Sal: Eh, I'll take my chances.
 * [Time Lapse. Bender's other clients are also there. Larry eats from Hattie's fork and Zapp makes a toast with his woman who has a five-o'clock shadow.]

Zapp: Cheers! &quot;Woman&quot;: Cheers! Petunia: So tell me about your prospects. You a good gambler? Fry: Well, ma'am, I-- Petunia: What's your game? Bingo? Keno? Wait a minute! You don't have your own body. Fry: No, but I control this arm. Petunia: Slots player, huh? Sorry, but I think I can do better.
 * [She gets up from the table.]

Fry: Wait, come back, uh, darling. Petunia: Can't, hon', I gotta catch my bus back to Nutley. I'd kiss you goodnight but I lost my teeth pulling out a stump.
 * [She walks towards the exit.]

Sal: So anyways, Leela, I'd love to take a whack at ya but that 10:15 to Nutley ain't goin' nowheres without yours truly behinds the wheel. Petunia: Excuse me, did you say "10:15 to Nutley"? Sal: Why, yes I dids.
 * [They stare into each others eyes and passionately kiss. Leela turns to Bender.]

Leela: [whispering] Bender! Did you just round up our dates at the bus station? Bender: Of course not. Sal: [shouting] Anybodys else for Nutley?
 * [Bender's customers get up and head for the door. Zapp's date also leaves.]

Zapp: Baby, wait! You didn't show me your surprise.
 * [Gary has his arm around Amy.]

Gary: [whispering] You know what I'd like to do...? Fry: Oh, jeez, get a room! Gary: Maybe later.
 * [Fry is shocked.]

Fry: Hey, I have an idea: Let's all go out for ice cream. Gary: Actually, I thought Amy might like to come back to my place for coffee. Amy: I don't really like coffee. Gary: Neither do I.
 * [Fry is shocked again.]

Amy: Ooh, I feel a little tipsy!
 * [Fry is shocked again.]

Gary: Let me pick up the check. Fry: Nooo! [Gary drops his card onto the check.] That's it I'm gettin' the hell outta here. [He tugs at his head.] Ooh! Ow!
 * [Leela hears Fry and walks to their table just as Amy and Gary are about to leave.]

Leela: Why, if it isn't my favourite head on Amy's body: Fry. Fry: Oh, Leela! Amy: We were just on our way out. Leela: Nonsense, the evening's young. So, Gary, what do you do for a living? Gary: I'm a banking industry regulator.
 * [Amy sighs.]

Leela: Really? Y'know, I heard that banking industry regulations are really very simple. Gary: Oh, no, that's not true. You see, modern banking regulations are a product of five different regulatory traditions. Six if you wanna get technical. Leela: Oh, I do. Gary: It all began in 1410 when a number of noblemen convened...
 * [Fry and Leela look at each other.]

Fry: [whispering] Thank you.
 * [They smile.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Zoidberg finishes stitching Fry's head to his neck.]

Zoidberg: There you are, good as new. Except for your dorsal fin. I'm afraid I couldn't find it after the crash. Fry: Can I live without it? Zoidberg: If you call that living. Farnsworth: I still don't understand why you wouldn't let me graft a laser cannon onto your chest. To crush those who disobey you. [He sighs.] But I guess we're just two different people.
 * [He and Zoidberg leave.]

Fry: So, uh, thanks for the ride, Amy. And I hope there are no hard feelings about your date, or stuff. Amy: It's OK, I had fun. And if I ever feel lonely I can just look over at this disfiguring scar and think of you.
 * [They smile. Amy leaves. Fry sighs.]

Fry: Well, anyway, it's nice to have my own body back.
 * [He yawns, stretches and pats his chest. He looks down and sighs. Enter Leela and Bender.]

Leela: So how's the old corpse? Everything hooked up OK?
 * [Fry stands up.]

Fry: Seems to be. My neck's just a little tender. [He touches his neck and kicks himself.] Ow! Cool! [He does it again.] Ow! Listen, Leela. Thanks for rescuing me last night. Leela: Anytime. I actually enjoyed hanging out with you.
 * [Enter Bender, counting his profits.]

Bender: Yep, everything worked out great thanks to good old Bender. Leela: Come on! It's not like you intentionally set us up with bad dates so we'd spend Valentine's Day together. Bender: Didn't I, Leela? Didn't I?
 * [He winks and a heart wipe closes the scene but opens up again.]

Leela: No! You didn't! You just corralled a bunch of stiffs at the bus station and pocketed our money! Bender: True. But in the end, isn't that what Valentine's Day is really all about? Leela: Yeah. Fry: I guess so. [Bender laughs and puts his arms around Fry and Leela and pats them.] Watch the neck! Watch the neck!
 * [He kicks Bender's ass and it sparks.]

Bender: My ass! My beautiful ass!
 * [It explodes.]