For the Man Who Has Everything

A little sharp on the turn, don't you think? Sorry if I scared you.

What'd you get him? I'm not saying anything.

He'll hear and spoil the surprise.

He can hear that too.

How about you? He's not the easiest person in the world to buy birthday presents for.

Bruce, you didn't get him a gift certificate? No.

Cash.

I mean, what do you buy for the man who has everythin-- Looks like some kind of plant.

Seems to be to be growing through his costume and into his body.

Is he breathing? Barely.

Someone must have breached the fortress.

Agreed.

Have a look around.

Pupils aren't contracting even slightly.

He must be cut off from all sensation.

Kent, where are you? This is your wake-up alarm.

Good morning, Kal-El, and happy birthday.

Thanks, Brainiac.

Windows, please.

Please don't tell me it's morning already.

That's what you get for partying all night.

I was working.

Come on, honey.

You call that work, covering the opening of the Argo City Museum of Modern Art? Hobnobbing with all the movers and shakers? A bunch of bores.

You could have come, you know? Next time.

Oh, please.

I couldn't get you off this farm if I exploded a quantum bomb under your-- Did you? Ugh! Come here, handsome.

A gentle reminder.

Kal-El and Van-El are expected at Jor-El's laboratory in precisely two hours and 12 minutes, and the vac-40 is overdue for inspection.

Shut up.

Hmm.

So it was a gift.

Teleported here from some alien culture, some grateful world, or someone wanting you to think they were grateful.

How remarkable.

You animals really are almost intelligent, aren't you? That's exactly what happened.

Mongul.

You recognize me.

I'm flattered.

I suppose Superman told you all about our previous encounter.

You mean, how he humiliated you? Ajaundiced account.

What inferior specimens he surrounds himself with.

I took her down before she even knew I was there, and I'll take this planet just as easily.

Hyah! Maybe not as easily as you think.

We "inferior specimens" call it "playing possum.

" No.

No? Clearly the males on this world are the smart ones.

He wants to know about the plant.

The Black Mercy is a telepathic species.

It reads the heart's desire and feeds the individual a totally convincing simulation of it.

So he's dreaming? Oh, far deeper than any dream.

I wonder where he thinks he is.

Sitting on a throne ruling the universe, all you human garbage fawning at his feet? More honest, don't you think, than this pretense of being a selfless hero? You don't understand.

He was the only obstacle in my way.

The rest of you are already dead.

Van! Van, your breakfast is getting cold! I'm coming.

Ugh! Looks like the dog left you a present.

Brainiac, could you clean up that--? No, Brainiac.

Van was supposed to walk the dog.

It's his job to clean it up.

Van-El, I want you down here right-- I'm here, I'm here! It's okay, Krypto.

How many times do I have to tell you, Van? When you asked for a dog, you-- Promised to take care of it.

I know.

Sorry, Dad.

Sorry's not always enough.

We have to-- Live up to our responsibilities.

I know, I know.

This mean I can't come to the party? Oops.

What party is that? Uh, the, uh You're confused, Van.

Little Zod's party isn't till next-- I told you I didn't want a surprise party.

And you're not getting one.

Eat your breakfast, Van.

You and Dad don't want to be late visiting Grandpa Jor-El.

Indeed.

Traffic on the Kandor skyway is backed up to the Gold Volcano.

Kandor! I forgot.

I don't want a surprise party.

It's just a small one.

How nice of you to volunteer to be the first of your race to die.

He'll kill her, Clark, and then he'll kill us all.

Shake it off.

Come back to us.

Please.

Oh, dear.

Is that a neural impactor? I didn't know they were still making those.

I'd advise you to try the plasma disruptor.

It's more of a woman's weapon.

Go to Ugh! Nothing's working! She's in the hall of weapons.

That will buy her time, but not enough.

She's fighting for her life, Clark.

You've got to fight too.

I can't believe you left all this to live on a farm.

It's a nice place to visit, but-- Van, did you--? Grandpa! Brainiac? A minor and completely harmless tremor predicted several weeks ago by the Seismic Institute.

First, I'll kill you and the bat, and then I'll take this planet.

You won't win.

Of course I will.

What's this one, Grandpa? And this? Whoa! Where'd you get--? One minute, Van.

Something's bothering you.

Here, and here and here.

A series of mild tremors.

Not unusual.

I don't see what-- Something's wrong, Dad.

Something's going to happen.

I can feel it in-- Oh, so you're a scientist now? Dad.

Do I have to remind you about a certain prediction of my own? Made, I'm embarrassed to say, when you were only a few days old.

I announced to the world that Krypton was going to explode, and it took me years to salvage my reputation.

But maybe you were right.

Maybe-- Maybe I've just been working too hard.

The past is dead.

Focus on the future.

Can we go up to the roof, Grandpa? Somebody wants to see the macroscope.

Go on up with your father, Van.

I'll be along in a few minutes.

Let's go.

It's not right.

Yes.

That's it.

Fight it, Clark.

Fight it.

Fight it.

Dad? Dad? You've got to look at thi-- What's--? What's the matter? Why are you? Van, when you were born, it was the happiest day of my life.

When I first saw your beautiful little face, your tiny fingers squeezed my hand so tight, like you never wanted to let go.

I've watched every step, every struggle.

I've-- But, Van, I-- Oh, help me.

But I don't think you're real.

I don't think any of this is-- Is real.

Don't say that, Daddy.

Please.

You're scaring me.

No, no.

I don't want to scare you, Van.

You are everything I ever wanted in a son.

This-- This is everything I ever wanted in a life.

But I've got responsibilities, Van, and I have to go now.

Daddy.

I promise you, I'll never forget.

Yes! Beware my terrible sword.

Ha-ha! Let all evildoers beware my-- We'll start with the pretty pearls around the lady's neck.

Now.

Yes! Ugh! Do you have any idea what you did to me? Aagh! Ooh! Ugh! I fashioned a prison that you couldn't leave without sacrificing your heart's desire.

It must have been like tearing off your own arm.

Ugh! Bruce.

Happy birthday, Kryptonian.

I give you oblivion.

Burn.

Hera, no.

Bruce! Get him, Dad, get him! Bruce! Ugh! Ugh.

You should have stayed in whatever happy fantasy the Black Mercy granted you.

Aaaaghh! Aagh! Happy?! Do you know what I've lost? What I've-- You know, for a moment there, I almost believed you were gonna kill me.

How stupid of you to hesitate like that.

Not a mistake I'll make, I can assure you.

Excuse me.

But I think this is yours.

This This was your birthday present.

A new breed of rose called the Krypton, but Don't worry about it.

I promise you, I'll never forget.

I wonder what he's seeing.

Whatever it is, it's too good for him.

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