Sketchy Beginnings

Now let's get back to "so random!" Okay, here's the plan. When that girl gets out of class, You are gonna ask her to the dance. Are you nervous? - Nah. when he gets nervous, better bring your mop it's not on porpoise when he blows his top he's dolphin boy! - Who da mammal?! I thought you said you weren't nervous, man. Of course i am. I mean, look at her. A girl like that would never go for a guy like me. I'm half dolphin And she's all woman. Come on, man, at least give it a shot. I know you can do this. You're right, i can. But i'd better empty myself first. You done? Almost. Now i'm done. All right. Now i'm done. Just in time, 'cause here she comes. Randy, dolphin boy. Caitlin, i was wondering if you'd like To go with me to the dance. Dolphin boy, of course, i'll go to the dance with you. Who doesn't love dolphins? Yes! You got a date! Who da mammal?! See you saturday, dolphin boy. Until then, milady. when he gets nervous, better bring your mop it's not on porpoise when he blows his top he's dolphin boy! - Who da mammal?! And don't forget, next week your favorite Sketch comedy show "so random!" Welcomes a brand-New cast member-- Sonny munroe! That's me! I guess dreams really do come true. off to the races, i'm going places might be a long shot, not gonna waste it this is the big break and it's calling my name yeah! so far, so great, get with it at least that's how i see it having a dream is just the beginning so far, so great, believe it can't take away this feeling taking a ride with chance on my side yeah, i can't wait so far, so great so far, so great I can't believe i'm really here. Mom! Aah! This is so exciting! - All right, come here, hold still. - Okay. Mom, stop it, stop it. Cut it out. We don't need more sun block. I'm inside. All right, i'm sorry. It's not every day That i hand my beautiful daughter over to show business. Look, mom, we talked about this. Show business is not going to change me. You've got a big head. I do not. I'm the same girl that i was back home in wisconsin. With a much bigger head. My head is the exact same size-- Whoa! I do have a big head. Cool. There she is. There's my new star. - Mr. Pike. - Please, it's marshall. Connie, we are so thrilled to have sonny join our family. And i promise you, she's in very good hands here. Good because you know what we do to people in wisconsin Who make promises they can't keep. You make 'em into cheese. I can see where sonny gets her sense of humor. Actually, i get it from my dad. She's not kidding. - But she is hovering. - All right. All right, i can t take a hint. Someone wants their mom to leave. Okay, come here before i go. Now i know i have said this a million times, but-- Don't talk to strangers. No but yes. Don't swim after eating? No but yes. Don't skateboard with a sucker in your mouth. I am trying to tell you how proud i am of you. I just couldn't be prouder. You just put a little bit more sun block on me, didn't you? No but yes. Bye. Well, here we are, kiddo. This is the prop house. Oh, my gosh. This is so cool. I've read about this place. Wow, this is where the cast hangs out. This is the gnome from the gnome sketch. And that's the sarcophagus From "the mummy dearest" sketch. Wow! And that's a pink hat That i've never really seen before. Yep, one day there'll be props in here from sketches you're in, Or maybe one of your hats. Anyway, just know as executive producer, I'm always here for you. Woman over p. A.
 * Marshall, your mother is on line four.

Take a message. - And five. - I gotta go. Don't you knock? Sorry, i didn't realize anyone was here. But you're zora and i'm sonny. I'm new. Obviously, otherwise you would have knocked. Now if you don't mind. Come on. You and your shortcuts, man. How come you get to be the chicken anyway? Because i have more of a chicken body, And you have more of an egg body. It's not fair. I always have to play the thing that comes out of you. No no, i come out of you sometimes. Oh, please. You played the mother, I played the baby. You played the stomach, I played the barf. I thought you liked being the barf, bro. I love being the barf. It's the funniest thing that comes out of you. But you know - hey, guys. - Hello, there. Nico. But you knew that. Grady, but you knew that. And i'm sonny, But i knew that. But i knew that. Wait. You're that funny girl from the internet. And you're the barf and you're the stomach. That was an amazing sketch. Oh, my gosh. I loved your ( imitates vomiting ) And your ( imitates vomiting ) Good times. Good times. It's easy for you to say. You weren't playing the toilet. Hey, everyone. Did you see? I'm on the cover of "tween weekly" again! Yeah, yeah, we're all on the cover. Really? 'Cause all i see is me. Hi, tawni. I just wanted to say i am such a huge fan. And honestly, you've been a role model to me And my friends back in wisconsin. We kind of feel like you're one of us. Hi, i'm sonny. Why am i being touched? Sorry. I'm a hugger. Small world, so am i. Good, i see you've met everyone. Yes, and i just wanted to say It is such an honor being here working with you guys. Marshall, What does she mean "working with us"? Well, she's our newest cast member, tawn. You're remember? We said goodbye to mandy on our last show? I remember the goodbye. I just didn't think there was gonna be a hello. What are you talking about? He showed us her website. Yeah, and we all got her photo, remember? Don't need another girl! I'm the funny girl. And the pretty one! Nope, nope, don't remember. But welcome aboard. Marshall: that's the attitude, tawn. You two are gonna be fast friends. Hey, as a matter of fact, you could give sonny the tour. I would love that. Let's go someone-Y. It's sonny. My first day in hollywood and i've already got a nickname. I've been in hollywood 40 years. Never had a nickname. Okay, the tour is starting. Keep up. This is where i get my snacks. This is where i learn. This is a camera, which loves me. And finally, This is where i do my costume changes, My makeup, my preshow chillaxin. Cool. So where do i do my preshow chillaxin? I'm sorry. This concludes our tour. Wow, you're a fast changer. And you're a slow leaver. You think i'm a slow leaver? You should have seen my mom this morning. I couldn't get her to leave. You wouldn't happen to know where my dressing room is, do you? Wow, i don't wanna interrupt your workout or anything, But you got quite a wingspan there. You know, if i didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to kick me in the face. Whoa, zora smells trouble. - What's up there? - Right now best seat in the house. As you were. You know, for some reason, she prefers to live up there Like a common bat, rather than down here with me. Yeah, that's a real brain teaser. Just wanted to see how you were settling in. Why is there gym equipment on sonny's side of the room? This is my side of the room? This is her side of the room? Don't you remember? I was very clear when mandy left That sonny would get this side of the room. Nope, doesn't ring a bell. All right, well, we'll get all this equipment back to the studio gym And let's give sonny some space. I can feel the chemistry already. No no, it's okay. I can make this work. I'm a make-Do kind of person, so watch me make-Do. I'll just-- I'll put my jacket right here. And i'll just chillax right here. - My make-Do isn't really working, is it? - No. You wanna talk about it? Sure, grab a seat and scooch on over Comfortable, roomie? Less so by the minute. Let's think of the studio as a school. I'm the head cheerleader and you're the new kid. And you're all gung-Ho and wanting to join the squad. You've got all these great ideas and you're full of enthusiasm. Yeah, that's right. I am. - Well, knock it off. You're not wanted on the squad. But i'm already on the squad. Yes yes, But we don't need you on the squad. Do we, pootie two shoes? Pootie two shoes? And we certainly don't wanna hear your cheers. Not your "sis," or your "boom" or your "bah. " But what if i have a really awesome "bah"? I don't care if it's the greatest "bah" since-- Since sheep independence day. So stay on your side, don't touch my stuff And keep out of my spotlight. Okay, then. Let's go rehearse. If you could talk, would you scream? You happy now? Exact same costumes. Nobody's coming out of anybody's anything. - How come your wings are bigger? - Your antennas are longer. The good thing is you both have the same sized brains. Okay, people, Let's start rehearsing tawni's queen bee sketch. Hey, heard you got the whole "sis, boom, bah" speech. People are talking about that already? Oh, no no. I was eavesdropping. It's kind of my thing right now. That and revenge. Wanna get some? No, i'm good. But thanks. This is tawni's sketch. She's the queen bee. I'm just the worker bee. So i'm just gonna lay low, Stay out of the way and mind my own buzzness. All right, places, everybody. The good knight's approach. Hello, good knights. Good night? But it's 2:00 in the afternoon. No no, not good night, - Good knight. - Silence! Which is exactly what we're gonna hear if the audience watches this sketch. Stop, cut! This isn't working. I agree. What is everybody else doing wrong? Kids, this sketch stinks on ice. What are we gonna do? Maybe the problem is there's one too many bees. No, that's not it. We gotta think bigger, Bolder some other "b" word. Boogers! Not boogers. It has to be bee related. - Hand down. Ahem. - Nico: i got it! What we need is pool filled with honey. Whenever you say you got it, You never got it. How about you, new girl, you got something? - Well, i might got something. Go on. Yes, please. Sprinkle us with your wisconsin funny dust. Well, what if tawni was like a clumsy bee, You know, like a bumbling bee? And then we could get distracted by things that, I don't know, bees get distracted by, like flowers. - Bzzzzz! - Oh, yeah! 'Cause you know we love the flowers. That's terrible. Terribly good. What else you got? Well, what else do bees love? - They love to sting things. - Yeah. Yes, okay, well, what if a really old lady walks in With a really huge butt? That's great, because old lady butts Make great targets. So she walks over. And then she sees a penny. "Oh, look, i found a penny. " "Oh, look, i found a penny. " All-You-Can-Sting buttfet is open. That's beautiful. I love it. Queen bee's out. Bumbling bee is in. Lunch. You wanna buzz over And get some lunch? Honey, look at this. Oranges, avocados, Tube socks. All purchased from a guy standing On a freeway off-Ramp. I didn't even have to get out of the car. What a town! Well, at least one of us had a good day. Oh, come on. Was it that bad? Let me put it this way: You slapping sunscreen on my face was the highlight. Marshall's making me do this bee sketch with tawni and she hates me. Do you want me to write a note? Mom! Look, come here. Honey, when chasing your dreams, There's always gonna be bumps on the road. Like that deer we hit in colorado. What i'm trying to say is that we did not travel All the way from wisconsin for you to give up on your very first day. Well i didn't say i was giving up. Okay, that's the spirit. Now just like that deer, you get up and dust off your antlers And angrily kick in our headlights. You want me to kick her in her headlights? No. Look, i'll tell you what you do. Go down there tomorrow and you talk to tawni. Get away from me. Look, i'm trying to apologize I feel really bad about getting off on the wrong foot. And i was thinking Maybe we could start fresh. Are you shredding fan mail? Not mine. Done with grady. Where's the nico pile? What's this? Oh, well, i got you a little something to say i'm sorry. Go ahead. Oh, look! It's a fuzzy little friend For pootie two shoes. Oh! It's a peace offering. Oh, a peace offering? Well, now it's a million peace offerings. Look, you don't have to forgive me, But we still have to do that bee sketch together. Not gonna happen. But i just wanna be as good as you in my first show As you are in every show. You have so much to teach me and i have so much to learn. Flattery won't get you anywhere. You're the funniest and prettiest one on the show. My approach to comedy is simple if we're going to play those bumbling bees of yours, Here's something you need to know about me. I don't play bumbling bees. Well, that's okay, because i've got millions of ideas. I'm just glad we're finally getting along better. Oh, so you're working on sonny's sketch? No no no no, it's our sketch. It used to be my sketch. Used to be my dressing room. Used to be my show. Remember? We're bees We're happy happy bees. Fine, we're bees. Let's say a new bee Arrives at the hive. And on her first day she buzzed in And she thought she knew everything And she threw out one of her millions of ideas And she stung the queen bee right in the back. How would that make you feel? I can't believe you stabbed me. I didn't stab you. You stabbed yourself. You just stood there and watched, which is just like stabbing. So it's really your fault. I knew you were out to get me. I'm not out to get you. Here, you need to rinse it off. I'm sorry. We need ointment and a bandage. Here. My queen bee cape. That's my favorite cape! How many capes do you have? Here. Here we go. Just-- No no no. - You're out of your mind. - No, i'm not. - Get away from me. - Sorry, here. Take pootie. Pootie makes everything better. Don't touch my pootie! Pootie! Look at me. I'm covered in pootie. I'm sorry. Sorry isn't gonna bring pootie back now, is it? We'll get you a new pootie two shoes. A better pootie two shoes. We'll get you a pootie three shoes. Well, what about my pride, huh? That's been shredded too. Look, tawni, the last thing i ever wanted to do was hurt your pride, And if i did, i'm really sorry. But now i just want to make things better. Marshall, do you think you can add the queen bee sketch back into the show? I think the bumbling bee sketch is funnier. I don't, and let's see how funny it is without me. But i can't do the sketch without you. Then i guess just like pootie, The sketch is no longer with us. - You know that pootie was a stuffed anim-- - La la la la la la! Okay, that's it. Ever since i've gotten here, I've been walking on eggshells trying to keep the head cheerleader happy, But apparently, that's impossible. I can "sis," and i can "boom" And my "bah" kicks butt, thank you very much. 'Cause i am one bad bee. Oh, my gosh-- One bad bee. I got an idea for a new sketch, And it doesn't include tawni. I gotta go. Sis, boom, bye. You go, girl. You can go too. Announcer: let's get back to "so random!" sis boom buzz, sis boom buzz - You heard me. - sis boom buzzity buzz, sis boom buzz - sis boom buzz, - You heard me. - sis boom buzz, sis boom buzzity buzz there's a new bee and it's kind of hard to fit in when the queen bee has the thinnest skin no matter how nice you try to be - she's always mean, mean, mean, mean - Ow! Sorry. i try to be nice but you see what it gets, it's like jamming a stick inside a hornet's nest sis boom buzz, sis boom buzz - You heard me. - sis boom buzz, sis boom buzz - i'm not a stumbling bee - No! - a groveling bee - No! - a stumbling, a fumbling, a mumbling bee - No! - a jumbling bee - No! - a rumbling bee - No! guess the only bee that i can be is me. Yeah! Word to the hive! - Yeah! - Okay! Okay, people, great show. Coming back to the signoff in five. Nice job out there tonight, kiddo. Thank you, marshall. Since it's your first show, why don't you say good night? - Both: what? - In five four, three announcer: now let's welcome the cast of "so random!" Well, that's our show, everybody, and i just wanted to say For as long as i could remember It's always been a dream of mine Meeting the boys, hanging with zora. And best of all, Getting to work with one of my true heroes And the inspiration for our last sketch. Give up it for tawni hart. Well, that's our show, everybody. Good night. So, we have a tradition on so ramdom First time you start an sketch. You get to hang out a prop in the prop house So, i can hang this anywehere? Anywhere you like It's also a tradition we get ice cream at the end of the show I'm gonna hang here for a sec All right cool. -We'll see you at the cafeteria then -Cool Okay i'm on the show i'm in "so random!" i'm in the show i'm in hollywood, yeah-- Oh my gosh! Sweet! I'm no longer the weird one.