The Doomstroyer

IRON MAN: Okay, Avengers, we've just entered Latverian airspace. Suit up.

HAWKEYE: Why are we wasting our time? Doom's gone. He rode that Midgard Serpent into a great, big portal to nowhere. We won.

IRON MAN: And ever since, Hydra had its eyes on his weapons cache.

FALCON: S.H.I.E.L.D. has had the border secured. But we picked up seismic readings from the capital this morning. Asgardian energy signatures all over the place. Something big is going on down there.

BLACK WIDOW: Asgardian? That's your department. [JETS ROAR] Any ideas what we're heading into? –

THOR: None that would make sense.

HAWKEYE: Well, that's encouraging. [LOUD CRASH] [GRUNTS]

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Heads up!

HULK: [GRUNTS] Where'd that come from?

BLACK WIDOW: Ground fire! We've been hit!

CAPTAIN AMERICA: We're going down, people.

THOR: [GRUNTS] Huh?

[COMPUTER WHIRS]

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Hydra and A.I.M.? This is not good.

IRON MAN: Looks like S.H.I.E.L.D. lost control of the border.

HULK: They want to play? Let's play! [HULK ROARS] Ha! I didn't even do anything yet.

FALCON: Wait! I don't think it's you they're running from, big green.

IRON MAN: Buckle up. We're about to eat Doom's front lawn.

[LOUD CRASH] [STRAINS]

THOR: Odin's beard, no! The Destroyer!

BLACK WIDOW: The Destroyer?

[ZAP]

FALCON: Man, what is that thing? It took out the Hulk like he was the Incredible Nothing.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Asgardian super-weapon, bad, really bad, Odin's beard bad.

DOOM: You have tread upon the sovereign ground of Latveria.

HAWKEYE: My eyes must be going, "Is that the Destroyer or Doom?"

DOOM: Prepare to face your Doom.

IRON MAN: Thor, you're our resident Asgardian tour guide. How do we shut this thing down?

THOR: Heimdall, open the Bifrost!

[THUNDER CRASHING]

HAWKEYE: Did our best hope of stopping this thing just leave town?

IRON MAN: Jarvis, tell me Thor did not just do what I think he did.

J.A.R.V.I.S.: Regrettably, sir. The energy signatures would suggest that Thor's no longer on this planet.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: He must've gone to Asgard for help, only explanation.

DOOM: Flee, dogs! Tell the Red Skull that Doom shall soon visit his vengeance upon him! [HYDRA SOLDIERS CRY OUT] You're not worthy of my rule.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: This is not like Thor. Whatever his self-doubts are, he's not going to leave us in a lurch.

IRON MAN: One problem at a time. And Doomstroyer here just put himself at the head of the line.

HAWKEYE: Doomstroyer, really? We-- we're calling it that? Okay, works for me.

IRON MAN: Hit him hard! Hit him fast! Hit him a lot!

FALCON: Could you be a little more specific? The usual isn't working!

BLACK WIDOW: You can start by staying out of his face blasts.

HAWKEYE: Less talking. More fighting.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Iron Man, how about some stats? Any weak points?

DOOM: Fools! I have no weakness. I wield a weapon of Asgard. I am the most powerful being in all of the nine realms.

HULK: Wrong! I am the most powerful being in the whole nine whatevers!

IRON MAN: Doom, first the Midgard Serpent, now the Destroyer? What's with the Asgardian obsession?

DOOM: Is that jealousy I hear, Stark? Thanks to you and the aid of your friends, I have visited worlds, seen wonders beyond any earthly intellect.

IRON MAN: And evidently, stolen a few. [GRUNTS]

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Big, powerful weapons, like the Destroyer, have a tendency to be missed by their big, powerful owners.

DOOM: You refer to the all-seeing father Odin in his eternal slumber? Or his belligerent, witless son Thor, the one you put so much faith in? Neither can stop me now.

HULK: You talk too much, metal head.

BLACK WIDOW: The town! This is wrong. For all his "Take over the world" talk, Doom always protected his own people.

IRON MAN: I'm hacking the Latverian emergency system. Broadcasting evacuation in all the local dialects. But we need to draw his fire. And calling for us to make a tactical

HULK: Do not say, "Retreat."

IRON MAN: Think of it as smashing backwards.

DOOM: You dare set foot in my home!

[HULK STRAINS]

FALCON: Oh, this is much better. Everything in here is designed to vaporize an intruder. And guess what we are.

IRON MAN: Activating Doom's defenses. Stasis fields. Adamantium gates. Laser grids. That should slow him down a bit.

DOOM: Fools! You can't turn my own weapons against me!

HAWKEYE: Okay, I'm going to say it. We are Doomed.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: We need to take this attack to him.

IRON MAN: You got a plan that can stop Asgardian weaponry, I'm all ears.

THOR: Then it is good that I have one.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: We're glad you're back, but where did you go? –

HAWKEYE: Sweet entrance.

HULK: Why is everyone so excited?

THOR: My friends, I am sorry I vanished on you. But after seeing the Destroyer, I hastened to Asgard to bring help.

IRON MAN: Who? Lady Sif? The Warriors Three?

THOR: I believe you know my brother, Loki.

LOKI: Greetings, Avengers, good to see you again.

HAWKEYE: Loki? Are you serious? Yeah, 'cause this situation is not insane enough already.

THOR: No, because Loki is our only hope.

[CRASH}

FALCON: Doom's broken through the outer defenses.

LOKI: Stay behind me. [STRAINS]

DOOM: All of you burn! [RUMBLE] [CRASH[

IRON MAN: Didn't see that coming.

LOKI: So will you be bowing to me now or later? I'll also accept a simple thank you, then bowing.

HULK: Thank you? You probably gave Doom that thing.

LOKI: And here I thought we let bygones be bygones. I am not behind Von Doom's recent outbreak.The means to indwell the armor had long since been lost. If Doom has rediscovered its secrets, then we are all at risk. I am here because my brother thought you mortals could help us.

THOR: If we do not act, Earth and all the nine realms will fall. And Loki

HAWKEYE: Is the biggest liar in all of them.

LOKI: This was a waste of time, brother. It is only a matter of hours before the Destroyer consumes Doom's psyche.

IRON MAN: Psyche? Wait, are you saying Doom's not actually inside the armor?

LOKI: Doom is running the weapon by Oh, what's your term? Remote control? He could be anywhere. Fortunately, I am adept enough to track the energies to Doom's true location.

HULK: Then why don't I smash the location out of you?

LOKI: Even if you could, you primates have no hope of getting there without me.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Translation, you'd get your butt handed to you if you went alone.

THOR: Friends, I am responsible for this. Had I faced the Midgard Serpent and my destiny, Doom would not have the power he now possesses. I do not ask you to trust my brother. I only ask you to trust me.

IRON MAN: Okay, two teams. Thor, this is your party. Take Cap and Falcon to keep an eye on Loki. Find Doom and stop him by any means necessary. Hulk, Hawkeye, Widow, we're defense. We'll hold off the Doomstroyer as long as we can.

HULK: Defense? Do I look like a defender to you?

IRON MAN: I trust Loki about as far as Jarvis can throw him.

THOR: Then it is well the Hulk remains with you.[STRAINS] Helheim? Doom is here?

LOKI: So it would seem.

[GRUNTS]

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Thor, what's the matter?

THOR: We are deep below Asgard in the domain of the trolls. Take heed.

FALCON: Trolls? As in trolls?

TROLL: The Odinson himself? Sound the alarm! Destroy them! Destroy them all! [TROLLS YELL]

FALCON: You're not as sneaky as you thought, eh, Loki? Loki? Okay, actually you're pretty sneaky.

HAWKEYE: Why do I think I got the short end of the "Split up the team" stick?

HULK: Anything Thor can smash, I can – [GRUNTS]

BLACK WIDOW: Not sure about this plan.What if separating us is what Loki wanted?

IRON MAN: Guess we'll have to trust Thor on this one.

HAWKEYE: Use a little help here! Stark, what are you doing?

IRON MAN: Being awesome. I just activated Doom's internal defense systems. Oh, I also canceled his digital movie queue.

THOR: I have no time for this! [CRASH] [TROLLS CRY OUT] Where's Loki?

CAPTAIN AMERICA: He went AWOL the moment the hostiles attacked.

FALCON: Who needs him? We're Avengers! Loki led us into a trap. We're probably nowhere near Doom.

THOR: This would explain Loki's gutless retreat.

LOKI: Retreat? Why, I'm hurt. Had I not gone after this troll messenger, we'd all be up to our necks in axes. And I would not have been able to discover this.

THOR: The Vault of Geirrodur! The very seat of troll power. Victor Von Doom! Cease your assault upon Earth or face my wrath! So say the Sons of Asgard!

LOKI: He can't hear you. He sits upon the Helhorn, the Destroyer's original power source. Lost long ago to father.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: And that crown Doom is wearing?

LOKI: That I cannot say.

THOR: If we break Doom's connection to the throne

LOKI: The Destroyer becomes an inert husk. And you'll return to another pathetic Earth hero's welcome.

FALCON: Fly over some lava and take down a napping super villain. Now, can it be that easy? Whoa! [LAVA SPLASHES]

THOR: It can't be. Doom is protected by – [ROARS] Midgard Serpent?!

FALCON: Why isn't he eating Doom? [ROARS]

LOKI: Doom has tamed the Midgard Serpent? Impressive.

FALCON: You're not going to fight that thing, are you?

THOR: Aye, no matter how many times my destiny is altered, I am.

[LOKI GRUNTS]

CAPTAIN AMERICA: This is why you wanted Thor. Liar! You knew Doom gained control of the Midgard Serpent.

LOKI: I promised to take him to Doom and so I have.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Thor, you don't have to do this alone.

THOR: I do, and willingly. For the sake of the nine realms, I must. Thank you, brother. Now, come, foul worm. Let us embrace!

HAWKEYE: I say we cut out and let Doom have his home back?

DOOM: My land is infested with parasites. The only way to defend Latveria is to extend its borders to the ends of the Earth!

HULK: World domination, knew that was coming.

BLACK WIDOW: Tony, Doom is losing it. This isn't right. He's a tyrant, but he's always been insanely protective of his own people.

HULK: Doesn't look like he wants to be re-elected.

IRON MAN: Maybe the doctor needs a wake-up call. Okay, everybody, new plan, strike and retreat, rapid fire.

HAWKEYE: It's only going to rile him up and make him more -- Oh, I get it.

HULK: Stupid plan. Sounds fun. [ROARS]

HAWKEYE: I got to say, this is kind of fun.

BLACK WIDOW: You're weird.

IRON MAN: Victor, up here. Jealous this! - Avengers, heads up! –

HAWKEYE: Technically heads down.

HULK: A pun? Should have let it crush you.

DOOM: You have defiled my nation!

IRON MAN: No, we've been trying to save it. You've been destroying it.

DOOM: No. I was defending my -- my lands, my kingdom, my people. What have I –

IRON MAN: Decades of glory, Victor, wiped out in a day by you. What did you expect when you merged with the Destroyer?

[METAL CREAKS.] [The Destroyer falls, uninhabited.]

DOOM: No! The Avengers? Here?

LOKI: Doom's connection broken? How?

FALCON: You obviously haven't hung around Tony Stark enough. He has a way of driving anybody out of their mind.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Team defense did their job. Now it's our turn. Falcon, I could use an airlift.

FALCON: Buckle up.

[MIDGARD SERPENT SHRIEKS]

LOKI: Doom must not reconnect to the Destroyer. If that buffoon regains his focus, all this is for nothing.

THOR: To me, beast! You shall not hurt my brother. [MIDGARD SERPENT SHRIEKS]

LOKI: Huh?

[THOR STRAINS]

LOKI: Adopted brother. Let's get this done, shall we? [YELLS]

DOOM: Away from me, you fools!

CAPTAIN AMERICA: [YELLS] You've been dethroned.

DOOM: The crown! No! [ROARS]

THOR: You never fail to surprise me, brother.

LOKI: And you never fail to disappoint me with your ability to cheat death.

DOOM: This is far from over, Avengers. I will find a way to make you all pay!

FALCON: Trolls? Again?

LOKI: This is a battle for another day. Quickly, through the portal!

THOR: Come with me, brother! –

LOKI: Seriously, Thor is there any trick you won't fall for?

[ELECTRICITY SNAPS]

IRON MAN: I'm sorry for your lands, Doctor. Stark Industries will contribute to the rebuilding effort. Now, if you'll come with us, we, uh --

DOOM: Latveria does not require your charity, Stark. And your authority to detain me amounts to precisely nothing. Every incident has occurred, entirely within my sovereign borders.

HAWKEYE: What? Tell me he's not right.

DOOM: Now, I suggest you leave, before I detain you for violating my laws. Besides, I expect you'll have more pressing matters to attend.

IRON MAN: What's that supposed to mean?

THOR: Loki, you have proven yourself a hero this day. Why not remain one?

LOKI: Your friends were right, you should not trust me. You may have defeated your destiny today, but our struggle is far from over. It will only end with one of us dead!

THOR: We are brothers. And I will fight to my last breath to save you. Even if it is from yourself.

LOKI: Save me? Save me! I stand upon the Helhorn! The power of the Destroyer is mine! You are the one who is in the need of saving! –

[The Destroyer hums]

HAWKEYE: I know those horns.

HULK: Everyone says I'm the dumb one. You can't trust Loki.

IRON MAN: Not as far as you can throw him. Think you can reach it?

HULK: Watch me. [GROWLS] [PANTS] [LOUD EXPLOSION ERUPTS] [ROARS] [YELLS]

[COMPUTER WHIRS]

IRON MAN: Hmm, took more out of me than I thought. Hulk, a little help here! [CRASHES] High five. Loki's about to get a big wake up call.

LOKI: Where-- where's Midgard? No! Thor! [GROANS]

[TROLLS CHEER]

LOKI: I will make you pay dearly.

THOR: I am sure you will and it will be a glorious battle. But for now, you have angry trolls to deal with.

LOKI: Trolls?

THOR: Goodbye, brother. [THUNDER CRASHES]