The Lunar Excitation


 * (Howard. Sheldon and Raj are at the café waiting to meet Amy Farrah Fowler.)
 * Amy Farrah Fowler: Excuse me, I'm Amy Farrah Fowler, you're Sheldon Cooper.
 * Sheldon: Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I am being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.
 * Amy: If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it. If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery. In any case, I am here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.
 * Sheldon: Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.
 * Amy: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I am baffled by the notion of one who takes attendance.
 * Sheldon: Well then, you might want to avoid East Texas.
 * Amy: Noted. Now before this goes any further, you should know, that all forms of physical contact, up to, and including coitus, are off the table.
 * Sheldon: May I buy you a beverage?
 * Amy: Tepid water, please.
 * (Both go to the counter, while Raj and Howard just stare.)
 * Howard: Good God, what have we done?

(Sheldon notices Penny taking Leonard to his bedroom)
 * Sheldon: What's going on?
 * Penny: Get your noise-cancelling headphones, 'cause it's gonna get loud.
 * Sheldon: Oh, not this again!


 * Sheldon: That's not afternoon. That's prevening.


 * Penny: Damn you, you rat bastard! In the olden days, I never would have known he was that stupid!


 * Zack: Is that the laser? It's bitchin'.
 * Sheldon: Yes. In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
 * Zack: Well, mission accomplished.


 * Leonard: (Explaining the significance of the experiment to Zack) Think about what this represents. The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon, put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.
 * Zack: (Astonishingly) What species is that?


 * Zack: One question. How can you be sure it won't blow up?
 * Leonard: The laser?
 * Zack: The moon.


 * Leonard: Okay, we’ve got power to the laser.
 * Sheldon: I should’ve brought an umbrella.
 * Leonard: What for? It’s not going to rain.
 * Sheldon: I know that, but with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
 * Howard: That’s a bazinga, right?
 * Sheldon: One of my best, don’t you think?