Jack-Jack Attack

Transcript

 * [chair creaking]
 * Kari: Wow, it's dark in here.
 * [thud]
 * Kari: Now it's too bright.
 * Rick: File 82-7-0-2. Agent Rick Dicker interrogating. State your name, please.
 * Kari: Kari. Kari McKeen. It's like Carrie, only with a K instead of a C, and an "ah" instead of an "a", only one R, and an I instead of an I-E.
 * Rick: Tell me about the incident.
 * Kari: Well, it started out like any normal sitting gig, you know, with the reassuring of the parent and all. Mrs. Parr, I can totally handle anything this baby can dish out. Can't I, little boo boo? Who can handle it? Who can handle it?
 * [giggling]
 * Kari: Mrs. Parr? Mrs. Parr?
 * [dial tone]
 * Kari: Oh. Well, she knows you're in good hands. Now, who's ready for some neurological stimulation?
 * [Jack-Jack cooing]
 * [Mozart plays]
 * [Jack-Jack coos]
 * Kari: It's time for cognitive develop...
 * [Jack-Jack screeches]
 * Kari: Oh. Who's the goo-goo baby? Where's the hiding... That was really weird. Wait right here.
 * [dials, phone rings]
 * Kari: Hello, Mrs. Parr, this is Kari. I have a question about Jack-Jack. Can you call me? [yelps] Jack-Jack? Baby? Where are you? Where...? [screams] Mrs. Parr, it's me. Jack-Jack is fine, but weird things are happening, and you need to tell me what to do, 'cause I'm... [gasps]
 * [Jack-Jack laughs]
 * Kari: How'd you get...? [screams] [panting]
 * [Jack-Jack laughing]
 * Kari: We're gonna calm things down a bit now, and look at flash cards. Won't that be fun?
 * [laughing]
 * Kari: Triangle. Good. House. Good. Campfire. [screams] Don't panic. Baby on fire.
 * [Jack-Jack giggling]
 * [steam hissing]
 * Kari: Good baby! Nice baby.
 * [Jack-Jack coos]
 * [laughs]
 * [hiccups]
 * [doorbell rings]
 * Kari: Yes?
 * Syndrome: Is this the Parr's residence?
 * Kari: Yes, I'm Kari, the babysitter.
 * Syndrome: Well, hello, uh, Kari. I'm...
 * Kari: You're my replacement. Thank heaven you've come! What does the "S" stand for?
 * Syndrome: For... sitter. Yeah, sitter. Originally, I was gonna have initials for babysitter, but then I would have been going around wearing a big "BS." You understand why I couldn't go with that.
 * Rick: And you believed him?
 * Kari: [shouting] The baby was exploding! You ever sit an exploding baby before, Mr. Dicker? What's that?
 * Rick: Have you told anyone else about this? Your parents?
 * Kari: They thought I was being funny. But you believe me, don't you, Mr. Dicker?
 * Rick: Sure, kid.
 * Kari: I wish I could forget the whole thing.
 * Rick: You will, kid. You will.
 * [Jack-Jack cooing]