Son of the Cursed Black of Darkness

Doris Deer: (gasps)

Gopher Thug 1 (Trevor): Huh. All right, lady. Take it easy, okay?

Gopher Thug 2: Let's have the purse, toots?

Doris Deer: Why, you little hooligans?

Gopher Thug 1 (Trevor): 'Ay! Who are you callin' a hooligan?

Gopher Thug 2: Yeah. I'm not even Irish.

Doris Deer: Who? P-Pith Possum?!

Super Water Buffalo: No, it's not Pith Possum, baby, but an entirely new defender of public order: Super Water Buffalo!

Doris Deer: Well, Super Water Buffalo, I can't thank you enough. But, I wonder where Pith Possum is; he usually shows up just in the nick of time.

Super Water Buffalo: Well, perhaps, he's just not as alert as he used to be. Let me call you a cab.

Doris Deer: Thank you again, Mr. Super Water Buffalo.

Super Water Buffalo: Don't mention it, miss. You see, it's all in a day's work for Super Water Buffalo. All right, you guys. You did a good job for me. Now, lam out of town for a few days.

Gopher Thug 1 (Trevor): Woah, you sure are a rotten disgraceful bogus character, Super Water Buffalo.

Super Water Buffalo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hit the road, Trevor!

Wolf Thug 1: (laughing) All right, Zeke! That's everything!

Wolf Thug 2 (Zeke): Let's ride!

Pith Possum: Never fear! Pith Possum is here! Where are the crooks?

Female Duck: Well, Pith Possum, you're a little late!

Old Dog: Yeah, they took all our valuables and left! Where have you been!

Elephant: Hey! Are you supposed to be the Super-Dynamic Possum of Tomorrow?

Female Duck: Maybe, we should call you Late Possum, the stupid lazy uncaring bum of some time tomorrow if he's not so busy!

Pith Possum: Now, hold on! Obediah and I will get your thingies back. We just need a little time to track this crook. Now if you can just give us a description-

Super Water Buffalo: Hello, citizens! I've captured the crooks and retrieved your property.

Old Dog: Hey, it's Super Water Buffalo!

Citizens: (cheering)

Elephant: Thanks, Super Water Buffalo! You're the greatest! And maybe, you should be looking for a job, Mr. Loafer!

Super Water Buffalo: Oh, well. Better go save some more citizens. So long old timer.

Pith Possum: Old timer?! Obediah, that twit is making us look bad!

Obediah: Yes, it seems he's been beating us to the scene of every crime.

Pith Possum: Ah, Commissioner Stress. What can we do for you?

Commissioner Stress: Well, nothing. I'm just calling to let you know that the mayor has rented out Possum Place to Super Water Buffalo. Seeing this now, you're washed up.

Pith Possum: Washed up?! Hey wait a minute! You police can't do that!

Commissioner Stress: Oh, yes, we can. We have guns! (chortles) We can do whatever we want to. So long, Pith Possum.

Pith Possum: My gosh, Obediah. This is hard to believe. Is it really over?

Obediah: Nothing is over, sir. Somewhere, there are citizens who still believe in you.

Rabbit: Uh, hey! Pith Possum?

Obediah: See, sir? A fan!

Pith Possum: Why, yes. I'm Pith Possum. Would you like an autograph?

Rabbit: Huh, no. I mean I'm sure you're fabulous, but I'm here to repossess your car, huh? Commissioner Stress told me it's city property and to deliver it to, uh-ooh. Oh! Some guy named Super Water Buffalo! Keys in it?

Pith Possum: This is terrible, Obediah! I don't know what to do!

Obediah: You'll think of something sir. You always do. See, sir? Your magnificent brain is already at work on an ingenious plan. That didn't take long. What is it, sir? Some brilliant, energetic plan to put us back in favor with the citizens by showing them all that they need us?!

Pith Possum: No.

Obediah: What is it, sir? What?

Pith Possum: What do you think?

Super Water Buffalo: (laughs)

Newscaster: Yes, the city has a new hero; a faster more efficient one named Super Water Buffalo. The mayor has declared tomorrow Super Water Buffalo Day. And so, we thank Super Water Buffalo wherever you are.

Super Water Buffalo: What a bunch of knob heads. I set up all those crimes and then pretend to solve it myself. Soon, I'll have this city lulled into a false sense of security. Hey, the mayor's already given me the combinations to most of the burglar alarms and even the key to the Possum City Gold and Acorn Reserve! (laughs evilly) What a bunch of suckers.

Obediah: Well, sir. maybe it's the name Possum Squeezins. I'm not sure that's gonna make people thirsty.

Pith Possum: What do you mean? It's an old family recipe from my granny Pearl.

Obediah: What exactly is a squeezin made of sir?

Pith Possum: Dirt, bugs, and pieces of wood. Why?

Obediah: Maybe, we should sell something a bit more, uh, you know, mainstream.

Pith Possum: Like what?

Obediah: Well, what about lemonade?

Pith Possum: Oh, pshaw! Lemonade! How typical, Obediah! C'mon, boy! Lemonade is passe. People want the strange; the exotic nowadays.

Obediah: Can't we just try, sir?

Pith Possum: All right. (chuckles forcefully)

Pith Possum: You know, Obediah, that lemonade idea of ours really paid off. But, I miss superheroing.

Obediah: I know what you mean, sir. Me, too. I'd give anything to be back at Possum Place.

Newscaster: We're here at the Gold and Acorn Reserve waiting for the arrival of Super Water Buffalo. He's going to dedicate the new alarm system today and- Here he comes now!

Pith Possum: Turn it off, Obediah! I can't bear to watch.

Newscaster: Super Water Buffalo, do you have anything to say to the good critters of Possum City?

Super Water Buffalo: Well, yeah. Get out of my way, 'cause this is a stick-up!

Newscaster: (chuckles) What a sense of humor, folks.

Super Water Buffalo: So long, you gullible wooden-headed thieves!

Pig: Hey, he stole our stuff.

Pith Possum: You know, all this life, although lucrative, has left us as bored as two... bored animals who... who are bored.

Obediah: You're right about that, sir.

Pith Possum: Well, may as well check on one of our eight million lemonade stands, huh. let's see about this one.

Super Water Buffalo: Hand over all the cash, you worthless teenager!

Pith Possum: Good Scott! Super Water Buffalo is robbing one of our stands! Quick! To the Lemonmobile! I knew there was a reason I never liked you Super Water Buffalo! Besides the odor, I mean.

Super Water Buffalo: Pith Possum! I thought I ruined you!

Pith Possum: It'll take a lot more than a bilious bison like you to ruin me, Mr. Stupid Water-Head Buffalo Face!

Super Water Buffalo: (laughs) My eye!

Pith Possum: Good work, Obediah!

Citizens: Hurray, Pith Possum! Yay! Yay!

Commissioner Stress: Pith Possum, thank goodness! You saved our city! We'll never doubt you again.

Pith Possum: Thanks, Commissioner Stress. There.will never be a need

Commissioner Stress: Here's your keys to the Possummobile and keys to Possum Place. Please forgive us, Pith Possum, Super-Dynamic Possum of Tomorrow!

Pith Possum: Don't give it another thought, sir. Obediah and I are happy to return to our vigil.

Commissioner Stress: Say, do you think I could get a glass of that lemonade?

Pith Possum: Certainly, sir. That'll be $40,000.

(Pith and Obediah laugh at Commissioner Stress' misfortune.)