In the Heat of the Fright

(Setting: the desert. A group of cats, which appear to be made of fire, are standing at the top of a sand dune, looking down on a village on the banks of a river. They turn into balls of fire and fly down into the village, where they turn back into cats. They scratch at the village's grass huts with their fiery claws, setting them alight. A family, a man, woman, and their daughter, run out of one of the huts.)

Woman:   Yama!

Man:  Run! Run!

(Setting: another part of the river. Aladdin, Genie, Carpet, Iago, and Abu are in a boat, floating down the river. Genie is dressed as a cruise ship captain, Abu is steering, and Aladdin is writing in a book.)

Genie:  Attention, passengers! Don't miss lambada lessons on the Leto deck with Jerry!

Iago:  Bend in river, shallow shoreline...

Aladdin:  (writing)  Got it!

Genie:   (clears throat)  Sir? The chef would like to know if you'll be dining at the captain's table. (Carpet is standing behind him wearing a chef's hat.)

Aladdin:  Genie, I promised the sultan I'd chart the river. (holds up the book; we can see a map of the river inside)

Iago:  Fallen tree... keep up!

Genie:  You'll be missing baklava bingo!

Aladdin:   (laughs)  Very tempting, but I have work to do.

Iago:  Fallen tree, fez-shaped rock, village on fire...

Aladdin:  Fire?! We have to help!

Iago:  Who says? (Aladdin scowls at him)  I mean, uh, did I say "village on fire"? I meant, "village having big weenie roast". There's really no reason to stop.

Aladdin:  Genie, get us ashore.

(The villagers are still fleeing their homes. The fire cats jump from roof to roof, spreading the fire.)

Man:  Yama!

(A boy is inside one of the huts, which is starting to collapse in flames.)

Boy:  No! No! Aah!

(Aladdin runs in, picks up the boy, and carries him outside.)

Boy:   (coughing)  I...

Aladdin:  It's all right. I'm—

(Two fire cats leap at Aladdin and the boy, but Carpet swoops down and carries them away, landing them on a hill on the other side of the river.)

Aladdin:  You'll be safe here. Okay?

Boy:  But, my sister!

Aladdin:  Sister?!

(Aladdin and Carpet fly back into the burning hut and a second later fly out, carrying a girl. Three men run out of another burning building.)

Men:   Yama! Yama! Yama!

(Iago is hiding in a sock on a clothesline as the men run past him.)

Iago:   Yama?

(A fire cat sees Iago and scratches at the sock; Iago flies out with his tail on fire.)

Iago:   Yama! (flies to a palm tree on the opposite side of the river and puts out the fire on his tail) They're fire and they're cats. These things give me the creeps on a variety of levels!

(The cat sees Iago and starts chasing him up the tree. Carpet and Abu see him and swoop down and rescue him.)

Iago:  Monkey, you saved me! (suddenly angry)  Now get your dirty paws off!

(Two fire cats turn into giant balls of flame and start chasing after Carpet. Carpet ducks and weaves, but can't lose them.)

Iago:  We're broiled!

(Carpet suddenly stops.)

Iago:  You stopped! What're you doing?! You stopped!

(Carpet flies back in the direction that he came, hitting the fire cats and knocking them out of the sky. Screeching like cats in pain, they burn down to tiny flaming patches on the ground.)

Iago:  Hey, I'm still uncooked!

(Carpet pulls up next to Genie, who is floating in the air, watching television.)

Iago:  Uh, Genie, if you haven't noticed, we have kind of a situation down below.

Genie:  Shh, shh! Here comes the sad part! Bambi, run! Man is in the forest! Oh no!

(Genie starts to cry, and his tears put out all the fires in the village below. The fire cats turn to smoke when the water hits them.)

Aladdin:  Thanks, Genie!

Genie:   (blows his nose)  You're welcome! And you know what? The movie had a happy ending, too!

(The children Aladdin saved and their father approach them.)

Boy:  Look! The fire is going!

(The remaining cats, as balls of flame, fly off in the direction of the setting sun.)

Father:  You have saved our village from complete destruction!

Iago:  Oh, please, it was nothing... nothing short of stupendous! Are we talkin' reward?

Aladdin:  Iago!

(Setting:   a dark void, with rock floating in all directions. On one of the larger rocks is a building shaped like the Sphinx.)

Woman's voice:  I grow unsettled, here in Morbia.

(The fire cats stand in front of the sphinx-shaped building, where a large fire is burning.)

Woman's voice:  I await my pets' return from a simple task.

(A cat-headed woman in ancient Egyptian clothing rises out of the flame.)

Cat-headed woman:  Are the peasants destroyed, I wonder? Surely we have at least broken their spirit? But with my own eyes I witness the unthinkable! You bowed down! You inflicted bruises; I ordered lacerations!

(The cat-woman scratches the air with her claws, and green magic slices through the air, scratching the fire cats, who shriek in pain. They land in two braziers at the front of sphinx, turning into bonfires.)

Cat-headed woman:  But from the ashes of your humiliation I will forge sweet victory.

(The fires from the two bonfires rise and start to swirl in a circle; in the center we can see a vision of the earlier scene where Aladdin saves the boy from the burning building.)

Cat-headed woman:  If it were not for this defiant one those farmers would be mine. Scratch a hero deep enough and you'll find the coward inside. (creates a giant cloud of smoke)

(Setting: back at the village)

Boy:  You are very brave!

Aladdin:  (chuckles)  Well, I...

(Something appears in the sky; the villagers look up at it in horror.)

Iago:  Now what?!

(A giant silhouette of the cat-woman's head appears in the sky, with glowing green eyes.

Father:   (covering his daughter's eyes)  The sky! It is... evil!

Iago:  Oh, great.

(The silhouette disappears, and the cat-woman herself appears in its place, floating over the village. She floats past Aladdin and lands on the roof of one of the huts.)

Cat-headed woman:  And... who are you?

Aladdin:  I'm Aladdin!

Genie:  Who wants to know?

Cat-headed woman:  I am... Mirage. (scratches the air, sending streaks of green magic flying at Aladdin and Genie)

Genie:  So! That violent display of magic is in lieu of a handshake?

Mirage:  A bold hero and an amusing genie. What a delightful duo. And a delicious challenge! We are not finished! (vanishes)

Iago:  Do you have any idea who that was?!

Genie:  Well, she called herself Mirage. Are you saying she used a fake name?

Iago:  I'm saying she's mean! Beyond mean! She invented mean!

Father:  The people of Fellahim till the soil and grow food for the whole river valley! I don't understand why anyone would attack our small village.

Iago:  Eh, let me spell it out for you, Old MacDonald. You people are doing something nice.

Genie:  That's good!

Iago:  That's bad. She hates good. She annihilates good. Evil is all she does.

(Abu chatters worriedly to Aladdin.)

Aladdin:  Don't worry, she's gone now.

Father:  It is late, Aladdin. Please, accept our hospitality and stay the night. Our food, it is very good!

Abu:  Ooh, yummy!

Aladdin:  Okay...

Genie:  (tying a napkin around his neck)  Ooh, this is the best part of all that hero stuff!

Iago:  You don't get it! Evil Incarnate does not just go away!

Genie:  I thought Evil Incarnate was a hyperintelligent wombat with a forked tongue.

Iago:  You were in a lamp for ten thousand years—things change! Mirage is Evil Incarnate now, and she goes through genies like catnip. Well, I'm not missin' dinner! Could be our last. (exits)

(Genie looks worried.)

(Setting: Fellahim, later that night. Inside one of the huts, everyone is sleeping except Genie, who is dressed as a security guard watching monitors showing different views of the village. He is struggling to stay awake, and creates a cup of coffee. As he takes a sip, Mirage appears on all monitors. Genie spits out his coffee, and Mirage disappears. All the monitors now show static.)

Genie:  Al? (makes a trumpet sound to wake him)

Aladdin:  What?

Genie:  Up and at 'em!

Aladdin:   (yawns)  It's still dark!

Genie:  Never hurts to get an early start! By morning that river will be bumper-to-bumper. (goes to the boat)  The Riverboat Red-Eye is ready for immediate departure! All aboard!

(The others get onto the boat.)

Iago:  Like we had a choice.

(Abu and Iago go back to sleep, using Carpet as a blanket.)

Aladdin:   (yawning)  I'll man the rudder.

Genie:  No, get some shut-eye, Al.

Aladdin:  Okay. (falls asleep)

Genie:  Snooze as you cruise,  (yawn)  that's our motto. (starts to nod off while steering)

(Mirage's face appears in the sky, and part of the river, carrying the boat, starts to lift up towards it.)

(Setting: The river, the next morning. The boat floats along, with everyone in it asleep. Suddenly Genie wakes with a start.)

Genie:  I'll take "Cartoon Characters" for 200, Alex! (looks around)  Huh? Oh...

(Aladdin wakes up, then Carpet. When Carpet moves we can see that Iago and Abu have snuggled up next to each other while sleeping. They then wake up, see what they're doing, and jump apart.)

Iago:  Just a bad dream! Just a bad dream!

Aladdin:  What's the report, Captain?

Genie:   (panicking)  Uh, uh... Right on course, mate!

(A rock starts to magically rise out of the water, and the boat hits it.)

Iago:  Collision course, as usual.

(The boat has a hole in it where it hit the rock.)

Aladdin:  (smirking)  Awaiting your orders, Captain.

Genie:   (as a mechanic)  Rug-man, think we can patch up this tub?

(Carpet gives a thumbs up. Genie turns the fingers on one of his hands into a pencil, a saw, a hammer, and a screwdriver.)

Genie:  Rush job! Pit crew, suit up! (he zaps Iago and Abu, who are now wearing overalls and baseball caps)

Aladdin:   (jumps out of the boat)  I'll scout for some breakfast.

Genie:  Don't dawdle, Al! I want to get as far away from her—ha ha, I mean  here— as possible.

(A few minutes later, Aladdin is climbing a tree to pick a bunch of bananas. There is the sound of a woman singing; it sounds like Jasmine.)

Aladdin:  It can't be!

(Aladdin jumps to the ground, where he sees Jasmine, looking at a flower.)

Aladdin:  Jasmine?

(Jasmine scowls at him and walks away.)

Aladdin:  Jasmine, wait! (runs off after her)

(Back at the river, the boat is fixed, and the others are waiting impatiently for Aladdin to return.)

Genie:  Ooh, what's taking Al so long?

(Genie looks at his watch, which has a Genie head on it.)

Genie watch:  Did he say breakfast or brunch?

Genie:  Where is he?!

Iago:  Well, why don't you go find him?

Abu:  Yeah, yeah!

Genie:  No! I mean, uh... no, that wouldn't be wise, because... uh, I, uh, have to review Al's map! Check it for accuracy, you know.

Iago:  Oh, sure. It's not like you're... scared!

Genie:  No, no, no really! (reading)  Okay, we passed the bend in the river, and the fallen tree. Hmm...

(He looks around and sees an eerily similar riverbend and fallen tree to the one they passed yesterday.)

Genie:  Fez-shaped rock?

(The rock is also there.)

Genie:  We sailed all night, and we're right where we started! It's Mirage! It's her magic, isn't it?! That's it, stand back!

Iago:  What're you doing?!

(Genie turns the boat into a PT boat with a cannon at the front. Genie sits behind the cannon, dressed as a soldier.)

Genie:  I'm bringin' down anything that flies!

(Back in the forest, Aladdin has finally caught up with Jasmine.)

Aladdin:  Aha! Jasmine... (takes her hand)

Jasmine:  Let go of me! Your little river trip gave me time to realize something. You could never be good enough for me!

(A deep pit appears behind Aladdin.)

Aladdin:  But, Jasmine...

Jasmine:  Farewell, street rat! (pushes Aladdin into the pit)

Aladdin:  No! (grabs a root growing out the wall of the pit to stop his fall)  Jasmine, help me!

("Jasmine's" eyes glow green. Aladdin climbs the root and manages to climb out of the pit.)

Aladdin:  You're not Jasmine! You're...

Jasmine:   (with Mirage's voice)  A nightmare?

("Jasmine" changes into Mirage, and the forest starts to fade away, turning into the starry void from earlier in the episode.)

Mirage:  Welcome to my world. Welcome to Morbia.

(Meanwhile at the river, Iago is screaming.)

Genie:  Oh, my mistake! I'm a tad... itchy. I thought you were Evil Incarnate!

(Iago's tail feathers are charred, and there's smoke coming out of the cannon. Then the scenery starts to disappear, revealing that they are in Morbia as well.)

Genie:  Yah! Oh! (his head flies off and his eyes pop out)  What's happening?! Where are we?!

Iago:  In a world of trouble! Mirage's world, Morbia!

Genie:   (panicking)  I knew it! I tried to get away, but now she's here! I mean, we're there! Which is here!

Iago:  Snap out of it! You're the only magic we have on our side!

Genie:   (calming down)  Right. At least we're all together. Except Al. Where's Al?!

(Aladdin is now clinging to the edge of some floating debris, and Mirage is floating above him.)

Mirage:  I almost had you, hero. No matter. I have eternity to teach you fear. And even if it takes that long, you will learn fear, Aladdin! (hisses at Aladdin, then laughs when he jumps back)

(Aladdin loses his grip and falls, screaming. He falls past the others, who are flying past on Carpet.)

Genie:  Al?

(They dive after Aladdin and catch him.)

(Setting: Later, in a cave inside one of the larger asteroids floating around Morbia, where the gang are hiding.)

Aladdin:  Thanks, guys. I'm glad you caught me instead of her.

Genie:   (shining a flashlight on Aladdin)  No problem, Al. We were just fleeing for our own pathetic lives at the time.

Iago:  Uh, ya might wanna keep the kid out of the spotlight!

Genie:  Whadda you mean?

Iago:  In case you haven't noticed, Aladdin's the one she wants to pulverize into kitty litter!

Aladdin:  Me?

Iago:  Yes, sir. Heroes and Evil Incarnate don't mix!

Aladdin:  You got that part right. We need a way to defeat her.

Genie:  But, Al...

Aladdin:  We can't hide here forever!

Genie:  Sure, we can! (creates a reclining chair, a standing lamp, and curtains over the cave entrance)  It has a spectacular view! Albeit, into a terrible black nothingness...

(They see the fire cats jumping from rock to rock, searching for them.)

Mirage:   (voice)  Aladdin!

Genie:   (gasps)  She  is  after you!

Mirage:   (voice)  You can't hide. My fire cats are famished! They shall find you, Aladdin...

Genie:   (to himself)  Not if they find me first. Am I a genie or a weenie? (disappears)

Aladdin:  We can beat her, we just have to find her weakness. Genie? Genie?

(Goes to tap "Genie", who is floating in front of the cave entrance, on the shoulder, but when he gets closer he sees it's an inflatable Genie.)

Aladdin:  What? He's gone. It's just a dummy.

Iago:  So, shove it in the lamp and let's call it even!

Aladdin:  The lamp! That's it!

(Aladdin takes the lamp out of his sash and rubs it. It makes a sound like a telephone ringing.)

Genie:   (voice)  Hi. Can't come to the lamp right now. Leave a wish, and I'll get back to you... I hope.

Iago:  Hey, if the fire cats are after him, we're in the clear!

Aladdin:  Carpet, let's go! (he and Abu get on Carpet)  There's no way we can let Genie face them alone.

Iago:  Oh, it's easy. We just lay low and—

(Aladdin grabs Iago and they fly out of the cave.)

(Setting: Mirage's palace. Genie is just outside the entrance.)

Genie:  This was a very stupid idea. Glad I'm genie enough to admit my mistakes. Time to turn back. (starts to sneak away)

Mirage:   (voice)  Genie! You have come to fight me?

Genie:   (turns yellow from fear)  F-f-fight?

Mirage:  (voice)  Where is Aladdin? He's the challenger I long to vanquish.

Genie:   (changes back to his normal color)  Well, you've got one  baaaad  genie standing in the way!

Mirage:   (voice)  Oh, really?

(The fires in the two braziers in front of Mirage's palace turn into two giant fire cats. Genie screams when he sees them and runs into the palace to hide.)

Genie:  Fire cats right behind me! But I'm ready... (turns his hand into a super soaker)  I've got a water pistol and I'm not afraid to use it!

(Genie shoots a thin stream of water at the cats, who are unhurt and snarl at him. Seeing this, Genie turns bright yellow again.)

Genie:  Okay, I'm afraid.

(The two fire cats grow even larger, filling almost the entire room.)

Genie:  Well, at least Al is safe as long as the fire cats are after me!

(Genie runs into a different room, which has Egyptian coffins in it.)

Genie:  Hey, I know! (wraps himself in bandages like a mummy)  Hello! (climbs into a coffin)

(A fire cat enters the room. It opens the coffin Genie is hiding in and starts to sniff him.)

Genie:   (thinking)  I am a mummy, not a genie. I am a mummy, not a genie. I am a mummy, not a genie.

(The fire cat moves on. Genie breathes a sigh of relief, but as soon as he does the cat is back and snarling at him. Genie tries to run away, but the cat steps on the end of his bandages. He ends up being spun back out to the entrance of the palace. Two more giant fire cats appear out of the braziers, and one of the cats from inside has followed him out.)

Mirage:   (voice)  Do you like it hot, Genie?

(Mirage is floating behind Genie.)

Genie:   (frightened)  I prefer mildly spicy.

Mirage:  Oh, but I like it burning hot! (hisses)

Genie:  This can't be healthy! In fact, I'm pretty sure there's a Surgeon General's warning that covers this! Am I shrinking?

Mirage:  Of course not, Genie. (laughs)  My beasts are growing! Your cowardice is a sweet treat for them.

Genie:  Well, if it's cowardice they want, I've got the market cornered!

Aladdin:  You're wrong, Genie!

Genie:  Al!

(Aladdin and the others have arrived, and are floating behind Mirage.)

Aladdin:  What you have is courage.

Mirage:  Your genie is a craven creature.

Aladdin:  No, Mirage. Genie put himself on the line for us. That's true friendship and true bravery.

Genie:  Hey, Al's right! I was so busy being afraid I didn't even know how brave I was! (turns back to his normal blue color)

Aladdin:  Look, Genie! (points to the two fire cats in the braziers, which are shrinking)  Without your fear to feed them—

Genie:  They're shrinking!

Mirage:  Fire cats, attack!

(The third cat leaps at Genie, who turns into a lion tamer.)

Genie:  Cool down!

(The cat starts to shrink when it nears Genie, then flies away from him as a ball of fire.)

Aladdin:  Come on! Let's get that stray! (he and Abu fly after the cat on Carpet, leaving Iago behind)

Iago:  Hey!

(The cat leaps from rock to rock. Aladdin catches up to it and stares it down. Abu makes faces at it, and it shrinks to only a few inches high, then disappears.)

Mirage:  Do not lose your strength, my pets! Find their fear and feed!

Iago:  Feed on fear, okay. I can't be scared. I am not scared...

(The fourth cat is now behind Iago, growling.)

Iago:  Correction: I am very much scared!

(The cat chases Iago. It corners him and is about to finish him off, when Genie appears behind the cat, in the form of a bulldog. The cat shrinks and disappears.)

Aladdin:  Genie, you beat 'em!

Mirage:   (voice)  No!

(Mirage's palace disappears, replaced by a giant, floating disembodied head of Mirage, with glowing green eyes.)

Mirage:  This defeat will only fuel my victory next time, Aladdin!

(There's a flash of light, and suddenly the gang are back in their boat, floating down the river.)

Aladdin:  Genie, we did it.

Genie:  We did do it! Yup, there's nothing like conquering Evil Incarnate.

Mirage:   (voice)  Conquered, am I?

(Genie screams and jumps into the river. Then we can see that it's really Iago imitating Mirage's voice.)

Iago:   (with Mirage's voice)  Oh that Genie... (starts laughing, in his normal voice)  What a scaredy cat!

(A fire cat's paw appears and scratches at Iago, who squawks and flies away. We can then see it's Genie with one hand turned into a cat's paw.)

Genie:  Better a cat than a chicken. (winks)

THE END