American Reunion


 * Kevin: Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?
 * Finch: Not us, our generation, we were more mature.
 * Stifler: Check it out. Vagina shark.
 * [He goes under water, girls scream]
 * Finch: I take that back.


 * Finch: How is your mother, Stifler?
 * Stifler: You stay away from my mom, Shitbrick!


 * Michelle: Hey, remember that one time at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each other's hairy wet pussies...
 * Selena: [interrupts Michelle] Yes, yes. I remember.


 * Jim Levenstein: Stifler's having a party tonight. Okay, I know that doesn't sound romantic or anything, but remember our first time was at a Stifler party. You made me your bitch.
 * Michelle: Yes. Yes I did.


 * Jim's Dad: It is so great to see all you kids back in town. And what a terrific soiree are you throwing here tonight. Just wonderful.
 * Stifler: You know what? I'm gonna get you fucked up.


 * Jim's Dad: Is it an erectile problem? Because sometimes, you can buy a little time... with a well-placed thumb.


 * MILF Guy #1: Milf?
 * MILF Guy #2: Milf...?
 * MILF Guy #1: Milf!
 * MILF Guy #2: Milf!
 * MILF Guy #1, MILF Guy #2: Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf!


 * Kara: Jim? I can't believe it's you. You don't remember me, do you? Remember Teletubbies Tuesdays?
 * Jim Levenstein: Kara? No, oh my god, what? You're not a kid anymore.
 * Kara: It's been a long time since I needed a babysitter.
 * Jim Levenstein: I can't believe how much you've grown up.
 * Kara: Thanks. It's actually my 18th birthday tomorrow.
 * Jim Levenstein: 18, wow.
 * Kara: You should come to my party.
 * Jim Levenstein: Oh, thank you, no, I... that might be...
 * Kara: Please I want you to cum so bad.


 * Kevin: You destroyed their Jet Skis.
 * Stifler: They splashed us, so...


 * Stifler: Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
 * Jim's Dad: [drunk] The name's Noah, motherfucker!


 * AJ: Did you just refer to yourself as the Stifmeister? Coz that's, like, the lamest name ever.
 * Stifler: I'm gonna fucking kill you.


 * [from trailer]
 * Stifler: Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually, you were. Not you.


 * Mia: What's with you jacking my style, bitch?


 * Kara's Mom: Remember this song?
 * [puts My First Kiss on and starts dancing to it]


 * Sherman: [talking about his divorce] At least I got to keep little Furlong.
 * Stifler: You named your kid after Eddie Furlong?
 * Sherman: Yes I did. You know why? Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made.
 * Stifler: Dude, you need to get banged bad.


 * MILF Guy #2: [after seeing Oz rip his undershirt] Dude, you have an amazing body!


 * Stifler: [whispering as he drops his shorts and sits on some high school students' cooler] I'm shitting in their cooler.
 * Jim Levenstein: [gagging] I'm going to throw up.