Granny-Sitter

Narrator: Just another typical evening in a serene suburban city…

(Scene: The Botsford house. Becky is sitting on the couch reading, Bob is holding a cluster of grapes, and TJ is playing with a road racing set on the coffee table.)

Mr. Botsford: (yelling upstairs) Come on, Sally, we’re going to be late! (in a normal voice Boy, this cat art exhibit is going to be a hoot!

Becky: Cat art exhibit? That’s a lot of pictures of cats.

Mrs. Botsford: Don’t be silly, they’re not paintings OF cats, they’re paintings BY cats! (Holds up brochure) Now TJ, I want you to behave for the babysitter this time. Promise?

TJ: Okay, okay, I promise! Hrmph. It’s bad enough I’m missing the solid gold Mazo-racer sports car with ejector seats! The car’s gonna be tearing up the streets!

Mr. Botsford: The Mazo-racer? That’s tonight? Oh, man, I wanna go! They say that baby can  accelerate  from 0 to 100 in five seconds!

Mrs. Botsford: (putting her hand on his shoulder) Honey-- cat art!

Mr. Botsford: Right! (laughs) I’m excited for that too.

(The doorbell rings.)

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, that must be the sitter! (opens the door)

Granny May: Hello everyone, I’m Granny May.

(Becky drops her book, and Bob swallows a mouthful of grapes.)

Mrs. Botsford: Come in, come in!

Granny May: (squeezing TJ’s cheek) Ooh, what adorable little children!

Becky: (to Bob) Why is the dastardly crook Granny May here to babysit us?

Mrs. Botsford: Now, let me go over a few things with you…

(Becky walks over to her dad.)

Becky: So Dad, which prison yard did you recruit Granny May from?

Mr. Botsford: I don’t think we got her from prison-- did we? (looks at a form) Nope! We found her through the Senior Center.

Becky: Did you  investigate  her background? You know, check her rap sheet, I mean, references?

Mr. Botsford: Of course we did, honey. Says here, she’s worked for hundreds of upstanding families… let’s see, Abe and Mary Lincoln, The Leonardo Da Vinci’s, the Queen of England…

Becky: And did you call any of these references?

Mr. Botsford: Honey, I can’t just call the Queen of England!

Mrs. Botsford: Okay, time to go! Have fun kids, and remember to obey Granny May!

Becky: But--

Mrs. Botsford: Bu- bye!

Mr. Botsford: Bye-bye, kids! Have a good night! (The door closes.)

Mrs. Botsford: I’m driving.

Mr. Botsford: Op-- well, yes you are.

Mrs. Botsford: (laughs) I’m a good driver.

Mr. Botsford: I hope we don’t get into a-- cat-astrophe! (elbows her as they laugh) I wanna drive.

(Back inside the house)

Granny May: Why, aren’t you three precious.

Becky: Precious like a rare jewel? That someone might steal?

Granny May: Fight seals? Oh-ho-ho, I would never fight seals. They’re so cute and cuddly. Well, it was nice talking to ya. Time for bed!

TJ: But it’s only five thirty!

Granny May: Don’t forget what your mother said...

TJ: But--

Granny: Obey Granny May!

Becky: (to Bob) She’s up to something no good. And with a little  investigation , I’ll find out what!

(A little later, downstairs)

Granny May: I love babysitting! It makes the best alibi, and you get paid for it! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Now that the children are asleep, I can finally steal that precious gold Mazo-racer! (She inflates a large doll that looks like her, then turns around and sees Becky standing there.) Aah! (chuckles) You startled poor sweet Granny May!

Becky: Sorry. What were you saying about the Mazo-racer?

Granny May: I don’t have an eraser on me. But I think I saw one in your bedroom. Come on!

Becky: No, the Mazo-racer! You know, the solid gold race car that’s supposed to  accelerate  from 0 to 100 in five seconds?

Granny May: Speaking of  accelerate , why don’t you  accelerate  yourself back up to your room? Oh my, you’re a strong little girl, aren’t you? (shoves her in and closes the door, then puts a monitor on her and TJ’s doors.) If one of these children leaves their rooms, I’m gonna know about it! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Becky: (to Bob) I should have known! She’s going to steal the Mazo-racer! We just have to do a little  investigation  to find out when and how. (Looks out the window and sees Granny May transform into her jet suit and take off.) Come on, she’s leaving! Word--

(hears TJ knocking on the wall)

Becky: What is it?

TJ: Becky, it’s me! I’m bored. Let’s play a game!

Becky: Um, sure, OK. We’ll play the quiet game!

TJ: The quiet game?

Becky: The first one to talk loses!

TJ: Yeah, but I don’t want--

Becky: Starting… NOW! (whispering) Word UP! (takes off with Bob)

Narrator: Meanwhile, in another part of town, the Mazo-racer is racing down the streets at breakneck speed! That is, breakneck speed for a snail! (We then see that he is actually standing still, while traffic is zooming past him in the other lane.)

Driver: This car has no  acceleration ! All this gold is weighing it down.

Narrator: Um, did you check to see if the emergency brake is on?

Driver: (laughing) Of course I-- (looks down) Oh. Oops! (Releases the emergency brake, and takes off.)

Driver: All right! That  acceleration  really kicks in! Now to-- WHOA! (Sees Granny May standing in the middle of the road with a walker, and puts on the brake.)

Granny May: Hello, young man! What a flashing gold car you’ve got there.

Driver: (getting out of the car) Here, let me walk you across the street.

Granny May: Why, thank you!

(She lifts up her walker so that he is enclosed by its legs, and then presses on the handles. The rest of the walker propels him across the street and traps him against a brick wall.)

Granny May: Why walk when you can drive? Ha-ha-ha!

(WordGirl swoops down and lands between her and the car.)

WordGirl: Stop right there, Granny May!

Granny May: White hair? Actually, mine is more gray.

WordGirl: Quit pretending you’re deaf! There’s nothing wrong with your hearing!

Granny May: What? I lost my earring? Where? (Picks up her purse and tries to hit WordGirl with it, but she avoids it. Granny changes into her jet-powered suit.)

WordGirl: Ha! Now to deliver my--

(A red light flashes on the jet suit and it starts beeping.)

WordGirl: Um--

Granny May: Ahh--

Together: Got to go! (they both take off)

(Back at the Botsford house, TJ had snuck out of his bedroom, which set off the alarm. He tiptoes quietly toward Becky’s door, when she opens it.)

Becky: TJ, where are you going?

TJ: Ha, you lose! You talked first! Ha-ha-ha! Yeah!

Granny May: What are you two doing out of your rooms?

TJ: I want water.

Becky: With ice.

Granny May: Fine! Granny May will get it for you.

(She walks off, then seconds later zips back with a cup of water.)

TJ: Whoa! She started slow, then took off!

Becky: Yeah, she really  accelerated !

TJ: (drinks the water) And she is fast too!

Becky: TJ, that’s what  accelerate  means. To gain speed. You know, get faster and faster!

Granny May: (chuckles) Well aren’t you a bright little thing? You’re going to wear yourself out though, get back in bed! Go, go, go! (They both go in and close their doors.)

(Becky begins inflating a life-sized blow-up doll of herself.)

Becky: This high-tech, voice-activated sound machine should convince TJ I’m still in my room.

(Bob also inflates a doll of himself, then says something.)

Becky: That’s ridiculous, that dummy does not make you look fat!

(She sees Granny May take off again.)

Becky: There she goes again! Word--

TJ: Becky! I’m bored!

Becky: Okay, well then, uh, tell me a story! A long story!

TJ: Really? You actually want to hear one of my stories?

Becky: Yes! I mean-- yes. (She turns on the sound machine and places it by the wall.)

TJ: Okay… once upon a time, there was this super-hero named WordGirl!

Sound Machine: Uh-huh… Yeah! Go on.

TJ: And she had a really big secret!

Becky: (picks up Bob and whispers) Word UP! (takes off)

Sound Machine: Uh-huh... Yeah! Go on.

TJ: She wanted this really awesome kid named TJ to be her crime-fighting partner! But she was afraid he’d say no!

Narrator: Meanwhile…

(Scene: The driver has evidently freed himself, and is back on the road with the Mazo-racer. Suddenly, flashing lights come up behind him, which appears to be a motorcycle officer. He pulls over.)

Driver: Whoo! That is one speedy bicycle!

Granny May: Excuse me, young man, but you were speeding!

Driver: Oh-ho, no I wasn’t! I barely had a chance to  accelerate  away from that stoplight.

Granny May: Uh, well then, you weren’t wearing your seat belt!

Driver: Oh, yes I was! See? It’s still on.

Granny May: Went through a stop sign?

Driver: There weren’t any stop signs.

Granny May: Headlight out?

Driver: No.

Granny May: Headlight off?

Driver: Try again.

Granny May: Um-- A-Ha! Your passenger side window is not rolled up all the way!

Driver: Ahh, you got me there! That was quite an  investigation ! You were really giving me the third degree.

Granny May: Well, just doin’ my job. Could you please step out of your car, sir?

Driver: (gets out of the car) Hey, why are you taking out your wallet?

Granny May: Oh, to show you picture of my grandbabies! Now here’s my grandson Milton, and my grandson Eugene, and-- well, I’ll just let you look for yourself. (She presses a button on the wallet, and the photos wrap themselves around him tightly.

(Just then, WordGirl and Huggy arrive.)

Granny May: WordGirl! I mean-- ooh, what a cute little outfit. Have I told you I have a grandbaby about your age?

WordGirl: Oh yeah? And would you leave her at home without a sitter? I mean-- don’t change the subject!

(Huggy has unwrapped the driver from the photos.)

Driver: Oh, thank you! That’s a good dog.

(Huggy groans, then throws the plastic photo holders at WordGirl.)

WordGirl: The jig is up, Granny May! (She wraps Granny May up in her own photos, and the signalling light on Granny’s suit goes off again.)

WordGirl: Oh!

Granny May: Oh, there’s my reminder to take my lifesaving medicine. Could you please untie this so I can take my sugar pills? (coughs)

WordGirl: Nice try. I’ll be right back. Something’s come up that I-- uh, have to  investigate ! Word UP! (She takes off with Huggy.)

(Back at the Botsford house, TJ has once again left his room, and is sneaking over past Becky’s room. Becky, having arrived and changed back, opens the door.)

Becky: TJ, where are you going now?

TJ: I just told you! I finished my story, and I’m gonna get a glass of chocolate milk! I hope Granny May won’t be upset!

Becky: Trust me! She’s got a lot more to be upset about than--

(Granny May comes up the stairs)

Becky: Hey! How’d you get away from the-- (Bob tugs at her arm) --uh, couch? I mean, the couch is so comfortable, it’s hard to get up!

Granny May: Children, I am not gonna tell you again! Back in your rooms!

Becky: Fine! (They close their doors)

TJ:  (through the wall)  Becky? I’m still bored.

Becky: (yawns) Sorry, Teej, I’m pooped! See you in the morning! (She switches on the sound machine, which starts playing a recording of her snoring.)

TJ: Oh, she fell asleep fast!

Becky: Word UP! (takes off with Bob)

(Scene: WordGirl is flying around the city with Huggy.)

WordGirl: Be on the lookout for a gold car! (Huggy points down) Are you sure that’s them, CHF? (He nods, and she swoops down. The Mazo-racer is dangling from a giant magnet.)

Driver: Hey, try not to scratch the gold!

(Granny May has hijacked a giant construction crane, and it using it to pick up the car. As WordGirl and Huggy get close, the magnet pulls Huggy away.)

WordGirl: Good thinking, Huggy! You pull the car free, I’ll capture Granny May! (Huggy lands against the magnet.)

(WordGirl flies down to the controls of the crane, where Granny May is sitting.)

WordGirl: Granny May, you’re going down!

Granny May: Put them down? Okay, you asked for it!

(She pulls the levers, releasing the Mazo-racer and Huggy from the magnet, and they plummet toward the ground.)

Narrator: Is this the end of Captain Huggy Face, the driver, and the Mazo-racer? Does the Mazo-racer have good insurance?

(WordGirl rushes over and catches the racer. Huggy bounces against the top of the car and lands on the hood, apparently unharmed. Granny May has started jetting away, but Huggy jumps onto her and knocks her to the ground.)

WordGirl: Good work, Huggy! (A police car arrives.)

Granny May: You may have gotten me this time, WordGirl, but I’ll be back!

(Scene: the Botsford house, a little later. Their car pulls up to the house, and Sally comes in the front door.)

Mrs. Botsford: Becky!

Mr. Botsford: TJ!

(Becky and TJ are sitting at the kitchen counter playing cards.)

Mr. Botsford: What are you kids doing up?

TJ: Mom!

Becky: Dad! Um, did you guys have a nice time?

Mrs. Botsford: Honey-- cat art does not disappoint! (Unrolls a painting she picked up.)

Mr. Botsford: What are you kids doing up?

Becky: Umm…

Mrs. Botsford: Up to bed you go! Go on!

TJ: Fine. (Becky and TJ head toward the stairs.)

Mr. Botsford and Mrs. Botsford (together): Good night, kids!

Becky and TJ (together): Good night!

(Mr. Botsford walks up to the blow-up doll of Granny May sitting on the couch.)

Mr. Botsford: So, all set then? Granny May? You can go home now. Oh! (reaches into his pocket and brings out cash) Of course! There you go, all paid up. (pause) Ok, we agreed on forty, but-- fifty! No, okay I’ll leave my wallet out, you take what you think you deserve! (He throws the wallet at the doll, and it falls onto the floor.  He walks away whistling.)

Narrator: Hmm, looks like Mr. Botsford needs to  accelerate  his  investigation  of Granny May, or he may be there all night! Oh well, tune in next time for another exciting episode of… WordGirl!