The Refund

Episode Starts

 * Look, Darwin. We waited more than seven months for this.
 * I know! We waited so long, I had time to grow hair.
 * Huh?
 * Whoa. May I touch it?
 * You may.
 * Nice.
 * Thanks. C'mon! Put the game on!
 * C'mon, c'mon. Oh, there you are.  There's something wrong with it.
 * TRY THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
 * C'MON! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M FRANTICALLY FLIPPING MY FLIPPERS!
 * What is that supposed to mean?
 * IT MEANS PUT THE GAME ON!!
 * I CAN'T! IT'S NOT WORKING!
 * I think we got stiffed.
 * IT MEANS PUT THE GAME ON!!
 * I CAN'T! IT'S NOT WORKING!
 * I think we got stiffed.
 * I think we got stiffed.

At Ripley 2000

 * I'm sorry, kids, but it's store policy. I can't give you a refund.
 * What?! You have to, we asked you a ton of questions before we bought it, remember?
 * What's bigger: a lion or a tiger?
 * A tiger.
 * Why is the sky blue?
 * Refraction of light through nitrogen.
 * Can anything escape from a black hole?
 * Not unless it's a super heated quasar.
 * What is 2,352 times 1,035?
 * 2,434,320.
 * If you know all this stuff, how come you're a store clerk?
 * Look, you want this game or not?
 * We'll take it.
 * Actually, you never asked me anything about the game.
 * Oh, you're right But whatever, you have to give us a refund!! It's been less than twenty four hours.
 * Look, guys, if it was up to me I'd totally give you a refund... But the manager won't allow it.  I-I'm sorry, but thats the way it is. Thank you for shopping at Ripley 2000.
 * This is not the end of it, Larry Needlemeyer! Mark my words: WE WILL GET A REFUND!
 * Hi, Larry. Can we have a refund, please?
 * Get outta here!
 * Ripley 2000... MORE LIKE RIP-OFF 2000!
 * Why is it 2000, anyways? It's not like it's the future anymore.
 * Hi. Yes, Mr. Manager. Uh, no, Sir, I certainly didn't give a refund to those kids. Yes, I brought your suit to the dry cleaners and walked your dogs. Actually, the big one bit me. Oh, yes! He can be playful. This is why I was seven minutes late. Oh, yes, Mr. Manager, Sir, it was entirely my fault. It wont happen again Sir! Have a nice... Ohh.
 * This is the police! You're surrounded! Put your hands where I can see them!
 * Now put your hands on the cash register and take out 20 dollars!
 * Now come outside and swap it for this computer game!
 * Hey! What kinda police are you?!
 * The... super real police. The Refund department... of... justice!
 * Nice try kids!
 * DARN!
 * Oh, look, kids, I'm not gonna give you a refund.
 * We're not here to ask for a refund! We just want you to look at my new, shiny watch
 * I, uh, it's kinda hard when.. you.. swing.. it.. like.. thaaaaaat....
 * Did it work? Is he hypnotized?
 * Let's test it.. Okay. You're the world's most amazing dancer.
 * Ok, now.. now you're an ostrich!
 * No, a gorilla!
 * A gorilla ostrich!
 * Now, you have roller skates on!
 * And your butt's on fire!
 * And now you're a store clerk giving us a refund?
 * Sorry, it's against store policy.
 * Now your butt's on fire again.
 * Ahhhhhhhh!
 * Oh, come on. I told you -- no refund!
 * Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We're not going to ask you for a refund. We just want two minutes of your time.
 * Every year, hundreds of children buy faulty computer games.. and don't get refunds. This is Jimmy.  Jimmy really needed a refund, but the store manager wouldn't give it to him.
 * I don't care that you're sad, Jimmy. It's store policy!
 * Jimmy's life is now very bad... and he lives in a shoe box.  What's that, Jimmy? Yes, yes, Jimmy.  I know you're sad and lonely.
 * Refund the world! Refund it sooner!
 * Uphold the rights that little Jimmy has as a consumer!
 * Now he's living in a box.
 * As a victim of deceit.
 * and : And even though he still had the receipt...
 * Poor Jimmy, I-I had no idea it was such a big problem Is there anything I can do?
 * Well, you could look into your heart and...
 * and : GIVE US A REFUND?
 * I'm sorry but no.
 * Well, you leave us no choice, Larry. I'm gonna slap myself and Darwin's gonna hold his breath until you do something. Aah! Aah! This is on you, Larry.  Oh! You can just stop all this suffering with just one word. Aah! Oh!
 * Okay, okay! Please stop. Look, maybe I could- I'm sorry, but "no" means "no"!
 * Every year, hundreds of children buy faulty computer games.. and don't get refunds. This is Jimmy.  Jimmy really needed a refund, but the store manager wouldn't give it to him.
 * I don't care that you're sad, Jimmy. It's store policy!
 * Jimmy's life is now very bad... and he lives in a shoe box.  What's that, Jimmy? Yes, yes, Jimmy.  I know you're sad and lonely.
 * Refund the world! Refund it sooner!
 * Uphold the rights that little Jimmy has as a consumer!
 * Now he's living in a box.
 * As a victim of deceit.
 * and : And even though he still had the receipt...
 * Poor Jimmy, I-I had no idea it was such a big problem Is there anything I can do?
 * Well, you could look into your heart and...
 * and : GIVE US A REFUND?
 * I'm sorry but no.
 * Well, you leave us no choice, Larry. I'm gonna slap myself and Darwin's gonna hold his breath until you do something. Aah! Aah! This is on you, Larry.  Oh! You can just stop all this suffering with just one word. Aah! Oh!
 * Okay, okay! Please stop. Look, maybe I could- I'm sorry, but "no" means "no"!
 * I'm sorry but no.
 * Well, you leave us no choice, Larry. I'm gonna slap myself and Darwin's gonna hold his breath until you do something. Aah! Aah! This is on you, Larry.  Oh! You can just stop all this suffering with just one word. Aah! Oh!
 * Okay, okay! Please stop. Look, maybe I could- I'm sorry, but "no" means "no"!

At Home

 * Hey, kids! What's up?
 * We couldn't get a refund and now we're really cheesed off!
 * Watch your language, young man! Cheese is not to be invoked in vain in this house, but if it's a refund you're after, you've came to the right place -- person -- man -- rabbit.
 * Really? Lets go there right now!
 * Wait. If you're gonna do something, you gotta do it right.
 * Now how do I look?
 * Actually, you look like your wedding picture.
 * Perfect, now hand me that game.
 * Actually, you look like your wedding picture.
 * Perfect, now hand me that game.

Back at Ripley 2000

 * What do you want from me, you nut burger?!
 * Oh, you know what we want.
 * We want what's rightfully ours, and we brought our dad!
 * Exactly!
 * For the last time, I CAN'T-
 * Uhp! I wish to speak to your manager.
 * You don't realize -- he's a vile, cruel BEAST! Uh, sorry. No refund!
 * Shhh. Tch tch tch. Okay. Here's what's gonna happen.. I'm gonna return this game, and get a refund. Look, I am putting the game on the counter.
 * B-But--
 * Easy. Easy, pal. Now, I'm opening the register.
 * No, no, no! Sir, sir, sir, I wouldn't do that if I were you!
 * Well, lucky for me, I'm not you. So now I'm going to take what you owe us. See my hand? I slowly, slowly...
 * Wait. Isn't that, like, stealing?
 * But you don't understand! You can't take money out of the register, you can only put it in!
 * Nooooooo! We're doomed!
 * Ahh! What's going on?!
 * He's coming!
 * Who's coming?!
 * The manager!
 * Aaah! I'm putting it back! I'm putting it back! I'm putting it back!! Ahhhhhh! Please, don't hurt me!  It's not even my fault, it's their fault!
 * WHAT?! When you said you'd get us a refund we didn't expect you to steal from the register!
 * You know very well I can't be trusted!
 * ARGHHH!
 * You know very well I can't be trusted!
 * ARGHHH!
 * ARGHHH!

The Manager

 * Look at you! I thought you were going to be some huge dude! The look on our faces. Whoa! I mean, where's the light in your office? It must be on the floor in the back of the room or something!  Phew! So, can we have our refund now?
 * No refund!
 * Oh, come on. We've all had a laugh and a little fright, but I think it's time to just give us our money back and we'll be on our way.
 * I've had it with you and your brats trying to mess with my money! You think you can steal from me and laugh in my face?
 * Oh, you're adorable! But, seriously, though, you don't want this to get physical. You're lucky I'm a pacifist.
 * Ow... OW! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF!
 * and : Go dad! Whoo-hoo!
 * and : Come on, Dad! You got him!
 * He's inside my pants! Aah!
 * Get him out!
 * Yeah, kick his butt, Dad!
 * Come on, dad! You can take him!
 * Dad?
 * GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF! AHH! OW!
 * He's not winning, is he?
 * No.
 * What's wrong with you? Ow! Ow! Doesn't really hurt that much, but ow!
 * Oh no! My beautiful face! Gumball! Darwin! Do something!
 * Eh, this is getting kind of embarrassing.
 * No! Don't abandon me, please! Oww! Ow! Ow!  Ahh!! He's biting my neck with his little teeth, and it tickles!
 * Stop right there, little man!
 * Yeah, leave Mr. Dad alone! Otherwise--
 * -Otherwise what?
 * Otherwise, we'll put the security video online. What do you think the internet will say when it sees you slapping your customers with your little hands?
 * That it's pretty funny?
 * Yeah, it was pretty funny.. But you'll probably get a modest fine and a couple of days of community service.
 * So?
 * So the shop will be closed.
 * And?
 * And you'll lose money.
 * Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to get excited. Okay, look, I can't give you a refund. It's a matter of principle. But since I find you quite pathetic, I'll give you a one-percent discount on this new games console. That way, you can play the game you've already got. What do you say?
 * Hmm. One-percent. So, seven-hundred dollars.. That's like, seven dollars off!
 * Now that's what I call a bargain!
 * Can we have your credit card, Mr. Dad?
 * Totally.
 * , and : Whoo-hoo!
 * So the shop will be closed.
 * And?
 * And you'll lose money.
 * Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to get excited. Okay, look, I can't give you a refund. It's a matter of principle. But since I find you quite pathetic, I'll give you a one-percent discount on this new games console. That way, you can play the game you've already got. What do you say?
 * Hmm. One-percent. So, seven-hundred dollars.. That's like, seven dollars off!
 * Now that's what I call a bargain!
 * Can we have your credit card, Mr. Dad?
 * Totally.
 * , and : Whoo-hoo!

Back at Home

 * Ugh! Can't believe I got beat up by a garden gnome.
 * Oh, come on. It was pretty funny.
 * Like when you were screaming, "no, no, my beautiful face!"
 * And when he was pounding on you from above, and it looked like a tennis ball bouncing on a melon.
 * And thanks to me we did get a huge discount on the console.
 * Come on! Put the game on!
 * Yes!
 * Dad.. He sold us a shredder.
 * Dad.. He sold us a shredder.
 * Dad.. He sold us a shredder.