User blog:Kettlon/Wacky Races (1968) scripts for last lines of every episode

Several years ago, before I even registered on Fandom, I recorded the final lines of every episode of Wacky Races (1968). I thought I might release them here in this blog. Here they are; the episodes are in no particular order.

See Saw to Arkansas Narrator: And can you believe it? Dick Dastardly stopped to pose for his picture. The big ham. Dastardly: Nehehehe Muttley: Hehehehee...

The Dopey Dakota Derby Dastardly: What's the idea, Sheriff? Can't you see I'm Dastardly? Sheriff: You sure are dastardly, Dead-weed Dick, but your dastardly doings are done. It's the Gopher Gulch hoosegow for you. Dastardly: Drat! Muttley: Hehehehee... Shadofashuwagufa

Traffic Jambalaya Narrator: Well, well, look what the dog dragged in. Muttley: Hehehehee... Dastardly: Stop that snickering and find me a Boy Scout to untie these knots before I need a finger retread. Ouch, oo, ee, oo, Ow...

Wacky Race to Ripsaw Narrator: I wonder what's happened to dirty Dick Dastardly? Dastardly: I should have won that race, Muttley. Instead, all I got is a clean car. Ouch, oo, ee, oo, Ow... Muttley: Hehehehee...

Mish Mash Missouri Dash Peter Perfect: Nice kitty Kitten: Meow, Meow! Narrator: And speaking of kitties, look what the cat dragged in last, Droopy Dick Dastardly! Dastardly: Oh Drat! Muttley: Hehehehee...

Ballpoint Penn. Or Bust Narrator: What a Finish! And as for Dick Dastardly... Officer: You'll get days for littering the highway,  days for obstructing traffic. Dastardly: Drat! Double drat! Muttley: Shadofashuwagufa Officer: And days for arguing with an officer! Muttley: Hehehehee...

The Great Cold Rush Race Narrator: And Dick Dastardly floats across the finish line in last place Dastardly: Drat! Muttley, do something, Help! Muttley: Hehehehee...

The Baja Ha Ha Race Narrator: They're all in now, and bringing up the rear is Dick Dastardly in a one-horse power special Muttley: Hehehehee...

Beat the Clock to Yellow Rock Narrator: All the cars are through except. Where's Dastardly? Muttley: Hehehehee... Dastardly: Help! Help! Narrator: As usual the evil plans of Dastardly turned out to be all wet.

Free Wheeling to Wheeling Narrator: Somewhere near Albuquerque, there's a fast freight lumbering west, with a loose caboose. Dastardly: Hey, stop the train! Let me out of here! Stop the train! Muttley: Hehehehee...

Creepy Trip to Lemon Twist Dastardly: Drat, drat, drat and a double drat! Muttley: Hehehehee... Shadofashuwagufa Dastardly: Ouch, oo, ee, oo, Ow, Muttley: Hehehehee...

Whizzin to Washington Narrator: The has yet to reach the finish line. What happened Dick? Dastardly: I stopped to give someone my autograph. Narrator: You're kidding. Who would want your autograph? Dastardly: Him! Muttley: Hehehehee...

Oils well that ends well Dastardly: Muttley, get me down! Narrator: And the Mean Machine crosses the finish line last. Dastardly: Drat, drat and drat again! Muttley: Hehehehee...

The Ski Resort Road Race Narrator: Tough luck Dastardly, All that effort, and nothing to show for it. You have something to show for it? What? Dastardly: I think I have a cold in my head! Atishoo! Muttley: Gesundheit. Hehehehee...

Race to Racine Narrator: Oh boy, what a wacky race this has been. Dastardly: Muttley, you dum-dum. Can't you do anything right Nincompoop? Muttley: Hehehehee...

The Wrong Lumber Race Muttley: Hehehehee...

The Super Silly Swamp Sprint

Narrator: But where is Dick Dastardly? Where can he be? Muttley: Hehehehee... Dastardly: Look, Miss gator, maybe to you, I am irresistible but believe me, this will never work. I was afraid you'd say that.

Hot Race at Chillicothe Narrator: While up, up, and away goes Dick Dastardly. Dastardly: Muttley, do something! Get me down! Muttley: Hehehehee...

Real Gone Ape . Dastardly: Yes, master. Watch the swinging watch. Back and forth, back and forth, Yes master. I'm in your power. Muttley: Hehehehee...

Dash to Delaware . Narrator: And in last place, our perennial loser, Dick Dastardly. What happened, Dick? Dastardly: We got lost. Narrator: With a combination bloodhound, pointer, and hunting dog? How could you get lost? Dastardly: Ask him! Muttley: Hehehehee...

Idaho a Go Go. Narrator: Meanwhile, meet a real loser: Dick Dastardly! Dastardly: Keep running Muttley! Keep running! He's got to run out of gas some time!

The Carlsbad or Bust Bash . Narrator: All the Wacky racers have finished except Dick Dastardly. There he is. Behind the eight ball. Dastardly: I hope we find our way out of here in time for the next Wacky Race. Muttley: Hehehehee...

Scout Scatter Narrator: While Dick Dastardly is stranded above the road. Dastardly: Drat! Secret weapon!

The Dipsy Doodle Desert Derby Genie: Pardon me for laughing, but you look ridiculous. Dastardly: I'd teach you to laugh if I were in your place. Genie: Your wish shall be granted. Now you are in my place, former Master. Dastardly: Drat! Muttley: Hehehehee...

Eeny Miny Missouri Go Narrator,: But, what about Dick Dastardly? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's Dick Dastardly! Muttley: Hehehehee... Dastardly: Oh shut up, Muttley...

The Zippy Mississippi Race Narrator: Listen to that crowd applaud! Peter Perfect and his turbo Terrific are mighty popular.

Speeding for Smogland Narrator: Oh, boy! What a smashing finish! Some of the cars are a real mess after this race! Tough luck Muttley! Where is your master? Dastardly: Double drat! Muttley: Hehehehee...

By Rollercoaster to Upsan Downs . Dastardly: Do something. Get me out! Oh no, No no! Not that way! Thanks for nothing! Muttley: Hehehehee...

The Speedy Arkansas Traveller . Narrator: But where is Dick Dastardly? Dastardly: Muttley, get me out of here! Muttley: Hehehehee...

Rhode Island Road Race Dastardly: Drat! Double Drat! My motor! Some low down, despicable crook stole my motor! Muttley! Why you... Muttley! Come back with that motor! Do you hear me Muttley? Come back, you crook!

Why o why Wyoming Narrator: And coming up fast to finish last is that villain Dick Dastardly. Dastardly: Drat, lost again! Muttley: Hehehehee...

Race Rally to Raleigh Narrator: What a race this has been! Dastardly: Who wanted to win the old race anyway? I did! I wanted to win this race! I never get to win a race! Uhuhuhuhuhuhuh Muttley: Hehehehee...

Fast Track to Hackensack Narrator: What a race this has been! Dastardly: Drat! Double drat! And triple drat! Sheriff: Hope you like our little town of Law 'n Order, cause you're gonna be there for quite a spell! Dastardly: Law 'n Order? I hate it already. Muttley: Hehehehee...

Overseas Hi-Way Race Narrator: Too bad, Dastardly, you almost made it. Dastardly: Uhuhuhuhuuhuhuuh Narrator: Please, Mr Dastardly, we don't like to see a grown man cry... do we Muttley? Muttley: Hehehehee...