Sadie's Song

[Open Ext. Beach City Boardwalk]

(Steven is shown giving out Beach-a-Palooza flyers.)

Steven: Here you are-s, my Lars. (Lars walks away ignoring Steven.) Uh, I'll just leave it here for you! *places flyer on the ground*

[Int. Big Donut]

Steven: Sadie, my lady, I was wondering if I could hang one of these Beach-a-Palooza flyers in... Sadie? Sadie?

(Steven walks into the back room of the Big Donut and sees Sadie stacking boxes on shelves while singing along with "Haven't You Noticed (I'm a Star)".)

Steven: *claps* Yeah, woo-hoo! Yeah, that was amazing! Woo-hoo-hoo, awesome!

Sadie: *throws a box on the ground, flustered* No, I— I was just— I wasn't, uh— *turns off radio*

Steven: I didn't know you could sing!

Sadie: Nobody does. So, um, do you need something?

Steven: Oh! I'm just going around helping Mr. Smiley hand out flyers for Beach-a-Palooza this year. *gasp* You should sign up!

Sadie: Uhhh, why?

Steven: Because your voice is beautiful!

Sadie: Aw, anybody can sound fine singing along with that song. It's so cheesy, and dumb, and-and catchy, and... I know every single word.

Steven: Perfect! Now you just need a routine. I can help you put one together!

Sadie: Uh, really? You think people would want to hear me sing?

Steven: Of course they would, you're great! Besides, everyone in town is doing something!

Sadie: Yeah, you know what? Yeah! Who cares, right? What am I afraid of? This could be fun!

[Int. Sadie's Room]

Steven: Your house is so cool.

Sadie: Just down here.

Steven: Woah! You sleep in a basement?

Sadie: I like to think of it like a bunker.

Steven: *looks at a pile of plush toys* *gasp* Are these all yours?

Sadie: Yeah, but, they're not really my thing. You can have one if you want.

Steven: Err... I don't wanna break up a family!

Sadie: So, now I have the CD, I guess I can practice singing.

Steven: First we gotta figure out what you're going to wear.

Sadie: Does it matter?

Steven: Ever since my act two years ago, there's been a rule that you gotta wear clothes.

Sadie: *chuckles* Well, I wasn't planning on going in my underwear.

Steven: How about something, flashy, and sparkly, or wait, what do you think that should be your gimmick?

Sadie: Woah, no no no, no gimmicks, the singing's already a stretch. Um, maybe this? Or maybe even... (Sadie pulls out a couple of outfits.)

Steven: That one's pretty.

Sadie: Uh, I think its a little much, I'll use something comfortable.

(A door slam can be heard on the background.)

Sadie: *gasp*

Steven: What's that?

Sadie: Maybe we'll do this another time!

(Barbara suddenly barges in.)

Barbara: Hey Sadie!

Sadie: Hi Mom. *tosses the clothes away* You're home early.

Barbara: I just had to rush home to show you this! Look at this little guy I got for you. Ain't he the cutest? *hands her a pink teddy bear*

Sadie: Oh, thanks Mom. *tosses the bear onto the pile of plushies*

Barbara: Sadie, what are you doing hanging out with Greg's boy?

Steven: Barb! I knew you delivered mail but I didn't know you delivered Sadie!

Sadie: Yeah, my mom's the mailman.

Barbara: That she is. Best dang mailman, woman, or animal on the force. *chuckles* At least until they catch me taking from the lost mail bin. But that's between us, eh? So Steven, what are your intentions with my daughter?

Steven: We're planning a stage show for *Sadie covers Steven's mouth* Beach-a-Palooza.

(Barbara's expression becomes stunned as Steven's voice repeats dramatically.)

Barbara: ... What was that?

Sadie: *sighs* I'm going to sing a song at Beach-a-Palooza.

Barbara: What!? Oh-oh-oh-oh, Sadie, you're gonna sing!?

Sadie: Yeah.

Barbara: Then c'mon! We have to start planing now! Steven! Help me find an outfit!

Steven: Okay!

Sadie: Ahh, you know I can probably do this by myself.

Barbara: It's no trouble. We'd love to help you out. Right, Steven?

Steven: Right!

Barbara: Oh! Look, its your old ballet outfit!

Steven: You're a ballerina?

Sadie: When I was like, 10.

Barbara: Oh! It's your swimsuit! She used to be a competitive swimmer.

Sadie: For like a month, when I was 11.

Steven: Barb, what's this?

Barbara: Oh! Look! Look! Remember when I used to drive you to your softball games?

Sadie: I remember when you punched the umpire.

Barbara: That's what he gets for trying to cheat MY daughter out of a double!

Sadie: And then I wasn't really allowed in the league anymore.

Barbara: Them's the breaks. So what we got planned so far for your show?

Sadie: Nothing, I guess...

Barbara: Well don't you worry, me and Steven will figure out the show for you. We'll make sure the world will hear your voice!

Sadie: Well... lets just try to keep it simple?

Barbara: What was that?

(A montage plays with Haven't You Noticed (I'm a Star) playing in the background. The montage features Steven and Barbara coming up with Sadie's dance routine, showing Sadie becoming less and less enthused with the process. The two also work on Sadie's makeup.)

Barbara: I think we did an excellent job.

Steven: We just need to tell Mr. Smiley to add our name to the flyer.

Sadie: Uh, maybe don't put my name on it... ?

Barbara: Yeah... what if she was a surprise!?

Steven: That's a great idea! She'll be a mystery final act!

[Trans. Ext. Beach-a-Palooza stage]

(Cheering can be heard in the background.)

Mr. Smiley: Thank you, Beach-a-Palooza! You get this next act from their day job, delivering pizza! But tonight, they're delivering jokes! ... That was a joke! Let me hear a big round of applause for Kiki and her ventriloquist dummy!

(Nanefua is sitting on Kiki's lap, pretending to be a ventriloquist puppet.)

Nanefua: Kiki, that rude Mr. Smiley just called me a dummy!

Kiki: That's just our act, Gunga. Why don't you show them your jokes?

Nanefua: How does a pizza tie its shoes?

Kiki: How?

Nanefua: With a garlic knot! *chuckles*

(A rimshot is played, while the crowd starts laughing. Kiki and Nanefua leave the stage while Ronaldo stands near the stage waiting with his chalkboard.)

Mr. Smiley: Haha, alright! Well, we're gettin' closer to our mystery guest! Even I don't know who it is, and I'm the host! But first, Ronaldo Fryman with, "A Lecture on Rock People: Identification and Defense"!

(Ronaldo goes onstage while Steven and Barbara continue to work on Sadie backstage.)

Steven: I can't believe it, the flyers really worked! The whole town is here, plus some!

Barbara: Oh, my Sadie, such a big star! Never even went to the prom, and look at you now!

Sadie: ... Am I on yet?

Mr. Smiley: Sadie Miller!? You're the mystery guest!? I never even would've recognized ya!

Sadie: Oh, uh, hi Mr. Smiley. (Steven begins brushing her, but Sadie pushes him away.) Uh, um, mm, how uh, how are you?

Mr. Smiley: ... I'm fine. But it looks like someone here has a case of... the "showbiz shakes". You know what a friend of mine told me once? A little smile never hurt anybody. *starts smiling widely*

(Steven and Barbara lean in, also smiling. Sadie cracks a nervous smile.)

Mr. Smiley: Aww... lookin' good!

Steven and Barbara: Thank you!

(Sadie stops smiling and sighs heavily. She becomes agitated again as Barbara starts showering her with glitter.)

Steven: More sparkles!

Barbara: Yes, sir!

Mr. Smiley: Next up, ladies and gentlemen, your mailman and mime, *chuckles* Jamie!

(Jamie goes up on stage and starts encapsulating himself in an invisible box. Old-timey piano music starts playing.)

Jenny: Oh, it's a box, he's... he's, he's doing a box.

Barbara: *gasps* Uh-oh, no more glitter. I'll have to run and get the emergency supply from the car. Guard m'girl, Steven.

(Steven nods, only to find Sadie walking off to look at the crowd.)

Steven: *gasps* Sadie, come back here!

(Sadie peers at the crowd. She spots Lars hanging out with the cool kids.)

Jenny: I can't wait for this mystery act! You think it's a juggler? Maybe they'll juggle something sharp. *hands the flyer to Lars* I'm gonna have my phone ready in case someone gets hurt.

(Sadie gasps and hides backstage.)

Steven: Sadie!

Sadie: Ugh, I - I can't breathe!

(Sadie runs and gets a drink of water from the water tank, gasping heavily.)

Steven: Okay, okay, if you're not gonna come back and let me work on you, then let's work on the routine!

Sadie: Okay... just let me -

Steven: Oh no! You ruined my lipstick! Never fear, Steven's here.

(Steven draws a crude smile over Sadie's frown. Sadie starts screaming, knocks the top off of the water tank, and submerges her face into the water.)

Steven: Sadie... ? Why did you do that?

Sadie: *pulls herself out of the tank* AGH! Because, you're just as bad as my mom!

(Sadie quickly covers her mouth, as Barbara appears with a bucket of glitter, which she drops after hearing Sadie.)

Barbara: What!?

Sadie: Please, Mom. Don't make me do this!

Barbara: Make you!? You said you wanted to sing!

Sadie: Yeah, I did! I did! I did, I did! Just like I say lots of things! Like, "Hey Mom, swimming looks fun," then bam, suddenly I'm anchoring a 400-meter relay for the Beach City Seals! "Hey Mom, I thought signing up for softball would be nice!" Six birthdays later, I'm still getting nothing but knee pads and batting helmets! "Hey Mom, I want to sing in this year's Beach-a-Palooza," and what do I get!? THIS! I just thought, for once, I'd get to do things my way, but you came in and took over everything like you always do!

Barbara: I just wanted everyone to know how talented my daughter is!

Sadie: This is not your daughter!

Barbara: ... I'm sorry, I didn't -

Mr. Smiley: Next up, the one you've all been waiting for, the one, the only, mystery guest!

Sadie: Aggh! How did I let this happen!? I don't wanna do this!

Steven: You never did. I-It was always me.

(Haven't You Noticed (I'm a Star) starts playing.)

Mr. Smiley: Give it up for...

(Steven runs onstage wearing Sadie's outfit.)

Kiki: Looks like you called it, Gunga.

Nanefua: That mystery guest bit had Steven written all over it.

(Steven starts singing the song, the crowd cheering him om with the exception of Lars, who is on his phone. At the end of his act, Steven tosses the glitter in the bucket into the air. The scene then transitions into the Big Donut, where Sadie sings the last verse of the song, to Steven's ukulele. The star-shaped iris closes on Sadie's face, ending the episode.)

[END]