Johnny's Big Snow Job

This is a transcript of the Johnny Test episode, Johnny's Big Snow Job.


 * [In Johnny's bedroom, the alarm clock rings. Johnny - wearing a winter outfit, stops it and gets up.]
 * Johnny: Let's gooo!
 * [He and Dukey jump out of bed.]
 * Johnny: Hello, snowstorm and goodbye, School Day!
 * [he grabs the snowboard and surfs down the banister. Dukey opens the front door and joins Johnny's ride.]
 * Dukey and Johnny: Woohoo!
 * Johnny: Uh oh.
 * [They bounce off the grass and crash into a tree. Johnny feels his head.]
 * Johnny: [Angrily] Hey! The weatherman said massive snow and massive school closings!
 * Hank Anchorman: And now I say it looks like it's off to school, kids. That massive snowstorm I predicted passed north of Porkbelly and instead headed our way is an extreme heat wave.
 * Johnny: [Chuckles but gets annoyed] Heat wave?! It's winter! I'm sure you'll get that one wrong just like you got the snowstorm wrong.
 * [As Johnny and Dukey approach home, the screen goes blurry and a rumbling noise is heard. They flinch.]
 * Hank: And a heat wave is a great time to enjoy the cool taste of Red Gush. Feel the crush of a Gush.
 * [Johnny and Dukey are on the ground heat-exhausted.]
 * Johnny: [Straining] But that gets... no gear... so... hot.
 * [They both faint unconscious.]


 * [the School bus arrives at Johnny's house. Johnny is carrying a tall pile of books.]
 * Johnny: [Grunts angrily] It's wintertime, and I should be snowboarding and not having to do a ton of homework!
 * Dukey: What are you gonna do? It's not like you can magically make it snow.
 * Mary and Susan: Hey guys.
 * [Johnny sees her sisters walk past.]
 * Johnny: No, but my sisters can.
 * [Zizrar and two other moles emerge from the ground.]
 * Zizrar: Ahaah! It is I, Zizrar! King of the Mole People and we are here to invade the earth, and we cannot be stopped, thanks to our special macho mole sunglasses! Now with rhinestones. Now prepare to be invaded!
 * Johnny: Cool sunglasses. Let me see.
 * [He takes off Zizrar's sunglasses. However, the mole screams and shuts his eyes.]
 * Zizrar: Bright light! Retreat! Retreat!
 * [The moles dig back in their hole.]


 * [The heroic duo walk inside the lab.]
 * Johnny: Dukey, don't I have the smartest and most beautiful sisters in the world?
 * Dukey: Yes you do, Johnny. In fact I think they're--
 * Susan: The answer's no.
 * Johnny: [Annoyed] Why are you saying no? We haven't even asked for anything.
 * [Mary walks the duo out of the lab.]
 * Mary: You're right. We shouldn't be so quick to judge. Thanks for the compliment. Have a nice day.
 * [The door is shut behind them.]
 * Johnny: Well, I guess there's only one thing to do.
 * [They bang on the doors in desperation.]
 * Johnny and Dukey: [Begging] Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?
 * [The door opens.]
 * Johnny: [Upset] Will you make it snow?
 * Mary: No.
 * Susan: And all the begging in the world, Johnny will not get us to shoot water vapor into the air to shift atmospheric patterns in order to create snow in Porkbelly! Johnny!
 * [The door is shut.]
 * Dukey: Fear not my friend, who puts food in my belly and scratches me behind my ears, because they put a challenge on the table and I am the king of begging.
 * [A doorbell is heard. Susan opens the door.]
 * Johnny and Dukey: [Begging] Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?
 * Mary and Susan: No!
 * [The door is shut. Mary opens the closet door. Johnny and Dukey are inside.]
 * Johnny and Dukey: [Begging] Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?
 * Mary and Susan: No!
 * [The door is shut. Mary and Susan are outside. Johnny and Dukey appear above their heads.]
 * Johnny and Dukey: [Begging] Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?
 * Mary and Susan: No!
 * [The girls run together. However, Johnny and Dukey stop in front of them and beg.]
 * Johnny and Dukey: [Begging] Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?
 * Susan: Okay, okay. We'll give you one snowstorm! :Mary: Just please please no more begging.
 * [The roof of Johnny's house folds outwards. A large cannon rises up.]
 * Susan: Behold, the instant snowmaking machine.
 * Johnny and Dukey: Now!
 * [They look outside the window in excitement. Susan presses a button. A snowball is fired from the cannon. While Johnny and Dukey continues watching, nothing else happens.]
 * Susan: It's gonna take a while for the snow to get here, Johnny. Johnny! Eventually they will get tired and fall asleep.
 * [Indeed, The duo are falling asleep. Dukey's tail touches Johnny. Johnny stirs and gets a fright after looking at Dukey's backside. Tired, he opens the window. A blizzard rages. The screen fades to the next scene, where Johnny's face turns blue and is covered with ice.]
 * Johnny: [Shivering] It's snowing. All right! So cool!


 * Johnny and Dukey: Woohoo!
 * [Johnny and Dukey snowboard down the hill. The moles emerge out of a snowy hole.]
 * Zizrar: We have returned to invade the earth! With new protective sunglasses that cannot be removed!
 * [He laughs. However, he and the other moles are run over by Dukey's snowboard.]
 * Zizrar: Retreat! Again!
 * [With the crowd watching, Johnny jumps up a half-pipe. He then jumps and does a somersault.]


 * [The heroic duo go home.]
 * Dukey: Man, that was one hot snow day!
 * Johnny: I've gotta have another.
 * Dukey: Forget it, Johnny. There's no way Susan and Mary will let you use the snow machine again.
 * Johnny: You're right! So we won't ask them.


 * [Johnny walks inside the lab humming a tune over to the window.]
 * Johnny: Hey... [To Mary and Susan] Isn't that Gil looking up here and waving?
 * Mary and Susan: Gil? Next door?!
 * [The sisters run and look out the window while Johnny speeds over to press the button and activate The Instant Snow-making Machine. Another snowball is fired from the cannon.]
 * Johnny: [Sarcastically] Or was that my perfect snow Gil? Snow days rule!
 * [He runs outside. Dukey follows him.]
 * Susan: Well that is the last time we fall for the old snow-Gil trick.
 * Mary: Definitely! But it is a great likeness.
 * Mary and Susan: Ahh... Snow-Gil...


 * Hank: Looks like Porkbelly got hit with another freaky wave of unpredicted snow and the kids...
 * [At that point, Johnny is snowboarding up a ramp.]
 * Hank: ...are enjoying themselves by legally sled riding.
 * [Johnny surfs onto him and continues onward with Dukey.]
 * Zizrar: Aha! We have returned, again. Ow! Oh, come on!


 * [Johnny and Dukey walk home again.]
 * Johnny: Okay. Honey, just one more snow day and then let's get to school and then I'll do all my homework!
 * Dukey: Yeah but there's absolutely no way Susan and Mary will fall for the old Snow-Gil trick again.
 * [In the lab, Johnny walks past the girls to the window.]
 * Johnny: Hey. Isn't that Gil waving again?
 * [Susan and Mary ignore Johnny.]
 * Johnny: [Annoyed] What's he doing? Taking off his shirt and flexing his muscles?! Whoa! Check out those abs!
 * [Susan and Mary rush out to the window while Johnny speeds over to press the button and activate The Instant Snow-making Machine. Another snowball is fired from the cannon.]
 * Mary and Susan: Johnny Test! This is the last time you'll make it snow!
 * Johnny: [Slowly] If you say so.
 * [Johnny quickly and repeatedly presses the button. Multiple snowballs are fired from the cannon.]
 * Mary: Johnny, how many times did you hit that button?
 * Johnny: I don't know. Why?
 * [The TV screen shows Hank submerged in snow apart from his arm and microphone.]
 * Hank: We are now in day thirty of the freaky Porkbelly marathon snowstorm!
 * Johnny: [Excitedly] Okay, the bad news is we've been trapped in our house for like a month. But the good news is I still don't have to do my homework!
 * Hugh: Dinnertime!
 * Johnny: [Excitedly] All right I'm starving!
 * Hugh: Here you go kids, Coatloaf! Since Porkbelly ran out of food last week tonight we're eating my leather coat. Enjoy!
 * Johnny: [Angrily] Coatloaf?! Who wanna eat this?!
 * Dukey: Can you pass the ketchup?
 * Johnny: [Angrily] I'm a growing boy! I need protein that's not from a coat. There's gotta be something out there!
 * [Johnny races to the front door and opens it. A huge clump of snow falls through the entrance and forces him back. He pops out, shivers and walks away, until another clump of snow falls into him, turning him into an ice cube.]


 * [Susan uses a hammer and nail to break the remaining ice off Johnny's leg.]
 * Johnny: [Annoyed] Okay, I'm sorry for over blasting the snowstorm, but can't you fire something up in the air to stop it?!
 * Susan: We would, but the roof to the lab is frozen shut.
 * Mary: And your little snowstorms have left all of Porkbelly without power!
 * Susan: The only thing that could stop it would be a heat source strong enough to melt the snow. But what?
 * [Johnny thinks. Several flashbacks of earlier scenes play. Each scene includes moles emerging out of holes. The flashbacks end. Johnny looks at a drill machine, - known as the Earth-Dozer - then turns to Susan and Mary.]
 * Johnny: Well, if we can't go up to melt the snow, then maybe we can go down! To the Earth-Dozer!


 * Zizrar: Finally, it is our time to invade the earth! [Cackles] And with our sunglasses that don't come off and with Porkbelly under 20 feet of snow, nothing can stop us now! Nothing!
 * [The voice echos. The Earth-Dozer docks a hole under the ground. Zizrar is submerged under rock. Johnny and Dukey walk inside. Just as they do so Zizrar pops out.]
 * Zizrar: All right. We give up. You win once again, flaming headed earth boy.
 * Johnny: Yeah whatever. Can you guys help us out?
 * Zizrar: You want our help.
 * Johnny: We were thinking, since you control the Earth's underground can you somehow release the heat from the Earth's center to melt all the snow in Porkbelly? We'll owe you one.
 * Zizrar: Ha! What could you possibly have that we could want?
 * Mole: He could help us with the plans.
 * Dukey: What? Then forget it. We will not help you take over our world!
 * [The moles laugh.]
 * Zizrar: Take over you. [Laughs.] Take over you, that's funny! We have better things to do than take over your world.
 * Johnny: [Hesitating] Then... What do you want?
 * Zizrar: We just want to invade the surface to get some red gush for our fiesta.
 * Johnny: Deal!
 * Zizrar: Soldiers, open the ceremone tunnel!
 * [The mole henchmen rotate the felloes. Water rises from the geysers all over Porkbelly. The snow melts. Johnny and Dukey watch outside the window from home.]
 * Johnny: It's working!
 * Dukey: Hey so where will all the snow go when it melts?
 * Zizrar: Oh that's a good question. Hmm, where will all the melted snow go. Oh! I know! It'll fall down the mole hole and... uh oh. Now I need a favor from you.


 * Hank: Well, now that all the snow is finally melted away, people no longer have to eat Coatloaf. And kids, you better get that homework done because tomorrow it's back to school.
 * [The moles' fiesta is seen to be taking place up in Johnny's bedroom. Music is playing and moles are dancing while Johnny stressfully tries to do his homework.]
 * Zizrar: The answer!
 * Johnny: [Annoyed] Can you keep it down? I've got homework to do!
 * Zizrar: Well we could, but this is my favorite song!
 * [He turns the volume up to maximum. Dukey plonks a hat on Johnny's head.]
 * Dukey: Come on! It's a fiesta! Yeah!
 * Johnny: Well, should have seen this coming.
 * [The screen fades to black and the credits appear.]