Video Game References

Below is the transcript for the episode, "Video Game References"

Transcript
[EPISODE BEGINS]

[Scene: Interior of Titans tower in front of a mystery door]

Robin: Titans! On the other side of this door, lies a world of adventure, intrigue and danger…

Beast Boy: Don't you ever get tired of being excited about everything?

Robin: Yes I do! That's why I'm in therapy to lower my blood pressure! But this time I have reason to be excited! Because I am about to show you some thing truly beyond your…imagination.

Starfire: Ooh! Imagination!

Cyborg: And don't you ever get tired of saying "Ooh!" to everything Robin says?

Starfire: Yes I do! I am only trying to be the polite!

Robin: Now as I was saying-

Raven: Just open the door Robin.

Robin : Fine. Behold! The wonders of…(enters "imagination" into a keypad by the door) imagination!

(The door opens and the Titans enter an empty room)

Cyborg: It's just an empty room.

Robin: Until we fill it!

Raven: Yeah, that's how empty rooms work; they're empty until you fill them.

Robin: But we're goping to fill it with imagination!

Starfire: Ooh!

Robin: We are standing in a state-of-the-art virtual reality room that can simulate any environment imaginable…

Cyborg: Ok! That is cool!

Robin: …for training purposes!

Other Titans: *all groan*

Raven: Training? Don't you ever get tired of making cool things boring?

Robin: Yes I do! And I'm in therapy for that as well! (Winks) Now watch as cutting-edge technology transforms this empty room into a world of…

Starfire: [unenthusiastically] …imagination.

Beast Boy:  [unenthusiastically] …imagination.

(Robin inserts what looks like a Nintendo DS game chip into a slot in the wall and presses a button. When nothing happens he presses the button three more times but eventually takes the game chip out of the wall, blows gently on it, reinserts it and presses the button again. This time the room starts powering up and an alarm starts ringing. Robin runs back to the Titans. Smoke fills the room and when it clears, the Titans look like they are in an "old-fashioned" video game)

[Scene: Old-fashioned video game]

Cyborg: Uh, I thought you said this was "cutting-edge".

Raven: Yeah, these graphics are terrible.

Robin: They're not terrible! (Turns his hand and watches become 2-d)

Cyborg: Wait, are you sure this is a virtual reality machine and not some souled-up video game?

Robin: Does this look like a video game?

Beast Boy: Sure does.

Cyborg: Mm-hmm.

Starfire: Indeed.

Raven: Yes.

Robin: Well it's not! Now I've set up different simulated missions to test each of you individually. Now, Titans, are you ready to experience a world of…*gasps* imagination!

("IMAGINATION" along with "push start button" appears onscreen)

Starfire: Ooh! [sarcastically] Imagination!

Robin: Love that patronising attitude, Star! You're up first! (Pulls out a rectangular video game with three buttons and a control pad. Moves a character-selector box cross the Titans and selects Starfire)

[Scene: Start screen of Starfire's simulated mission]

(Starfire is on a mountain near a waterfall)

Starfire: Ooh! This battle simulation looks like the beginning of a great quest of legends! (Flies away and "Starfire's Quest: The Legend of the Legendary Quest" start screen appears)

(Starfire lands some where and walks into a cave)

[Scene: Inside of the cave]

(Starfire walks into the cave and sees an Old Man and a wooden sword)

Old Man: It's dangerous to go alone. Take this. (Wooden sword glows brightly)

Starfire: Thank you. But I will be fine without the stick.

Old Man: But you are alone and it's dangerous to go alone…

Starfire: Are you not also alone?

Old Man: It's…well…yes, it has been sometime since I've talked to anyone. My wife used to visit before she left me…That was years ago…

Starfire: Ummmm…

Old Man: I'm very lonely.

Starfire: I…should…continue my quest… (starts to leave)

Old Man: Yes, yes of course. Don't mind this old man. You're young you have things to do. I'll just be here sad and alone with a wooden sword no-one wants.

Starfire: (flies back) I suppose you could come with me.

Old Man: You mean, leave the cave?

Starfire: Yes! Yes! Join me in the quest of the legends, sad old man!

Old Man: Hot dog! I'll bring the sword! (Picks up the sword and it glows brightly)

Starfire: A wooden sword is useless…but wonderful! (She and the Old Man leave the cave and are about to be attacked by Land Squids)

Old Man: Be careful, hero. These are dangerous creatures. I'll handle this. (Approaches a squid and gets squirted with ink) Ouch! That smarts! (Hides behind Starfire) Protect me from this vicious beast, hero!

Starfire: This beast is not vicious, sad old man. He merely desires the scratchy-scratchies (Scratches the squids while singing) [singing] Scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratch. All the livey-long days and months! [normal voice] *giggles* Adorable!

(Everyone starts dancing and eventually every Land Squid leaves except one)

Starfire: Land Squid, will you join us on our quest of the legend?

Land Squid: *beeps in agreement*

Starfire: Joy! (Hugs the squid)

(A screen reading "Land Squid has joined your party" appears)

[Scene: Outside a house]

(A woman is running around chasing a chicken when Starfire and her party show up)

Distressed Woman: Hero, help! My Coocalacka has escaped!

Starfire: You mean, the chicken?

Distressed Woman: No! Coocalacka!

Old Man: I'll handle this. (Swings the sword at Coocalacka) Ha-uh! (Coocalacka pecks him rapidly) *screams* Ow! Oh, my eye! Oh, the pecking! *screams*

Distressed Woman: Please, hero, catch my Coocalacka and I'll reward you with this empty bottle.

Starfire: That is the useless reward. (Scratches Coocalacka while singing) [singing] Scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, scratch. All the livey-long days and months!

(Everyone starts dancing again and a screen reading "Coocalacka has joined your party" appears)

Old Man: You are gathering an army. (Starts bowing to Starfire) You are truly the hero of legend! You will slay the villain for sure!

Starfire: Slay? Oh, but I just wish to dance!

Old Man: Works for me!

(Starfire and her party, now including the Distressed Woman, dance through the land and are joined by several globs of slime, five skeletons, and three big knights. Later, a new screen comes up and showing an evil wizard, with the message "While you were dancing, the evil wizard took over the world!")

[Scene: Beast Boy's simulated mission. "Cross the Street" start screen appears]

(Beast Boy is on a sidewalk next to a busy highway)

Beast Boy: Cross the street? Come on! Why doesn't anyone think I can do anything hard? Ugh, whatever. (Turns into a frog) I'll just transform into a little froggy-frog and… (hops onto the road and gets run over) *screams* (regenerates on the sidewalk)

Ok, that guy totally came out of nowhere! (Tries crossing the road six more times but keeps getting run over) Why won't anyone stop for a frog? (Gets run over) Ow! Come on! (Regenerates)

Who taught you how to drive?! (Tries crossing the road again but a snake appears) *screams* A snake! (Gets eaten and regenerates)

What's a snake doing on the highway?! How am I supposed to cross this stupid road?! Oh! I just need to use the crosswalk. Easy! (Uses the cross walk and gets run over) *screams* (regenerates)

I had the right of way, you fool! *sighs* I don't understand how this is supposed to teach anyone how to cross the road! *gasps* "Cross the road"? Ah-ha! That's it! This is a job for a chicken! (Turns into a chicken and starts crossing the road) Yeah! I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Yeah! Ha-ha! Whoo! Can't hit me! Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Almost there! (Jumps onto a lily pad and gets eaten by an alligator) *screams* Gator! *screams*

(A skull flashes red and white on the screen)

[Scene: Raven's simulated mission. "Circle Guy" start screen appears]

(Raven and her Red, Pink and Purple emoticlones are acting as ghosts in their box)

Raven: Look at us! We're dressed nice.

(Circle Guy appears and starts eating the dots)

Raven:  Hey, who's that Circle Guy? Why is he eating our balls? We have to stop him go! Raven and her emoticlones exit their box and move around the screen randomly) Guys gonna help or what? Seriously, look at you guys. No wonder Circle Guy just takes all your stuff! Look now he's eating your cherries! Come on! (Gathers her emoticlones into a line) Now, let's focus. Move in formation on my command. Go, go, go! (She and her emoticlones move rapidly towards Circle Guy)

(Circle Guy eats a Power Pellet and grows and starts going crazy)

Raven:  I don't know what he ate, but it's making him nuts! Pull back! Pull back! Pull back! (She and her emoticlones retreat but Pink gets eaten) NOOOOOOOO!!! I'll never forget you, Stinky. Let's end this!

(Circle Guy turns back to normal and Raven and her emoticlones close in on Circle Guy. Suddenly Circle Girl appears and eats Raven and her emoticlones)

Raven:  NO!! *screams* (gets eaten)

(Circle Guy and Circle Girl kiss)

Raven:  Ugh!

[Scene: Cyborg's simulated mission. "Pie Hunter" start screen appears]

Cyborg: Ooh! Pie Hunter! "Pie in four miles". Rev it up baby. Vroom-vroom! And, check the mirrors, seat belt on, turn signal and merging. (Drives onto the road. Cars speed past him on all sides, scaring him) Hey! *screams* Slow down, you maniacs! I am going the posted speed limit! (A car honks his horn behind Cyborg) Just go around me! GO AROUND ME! Why is everybody in such a rush nowadays? Driving us a privilege, not a right! Gosh! (The Pie Hunter's car goes up behind Cyborg's car) Oh, look at Tailgate Johnny back there. You like my bumper stickers or what?! (Pie Hunter crashes his car into Cyborg's) HEY! Great, just what I need today!

Pie Hunter: Now you are going to pay!

Cyborg: What?! You're gonna pay little buddy! No way that that accident my fault! You'd better have insurance!

Pie Hunter: Can we handle this without insurance? I cannot have another accident on my record.

Cyborg: Well, you should've thought of that before you decided to drive so recklessly.

Pie Hunter: Come on now, I will pay for the repairs in cash? Uh huh, OK?

Cyborg: Nuh uh! No-Kay!

Pie Hunter: Ugh! Fine!

(Drives away in his car, Cyborg looks back to see a billboard, saying "Pie: Next Exit"

Cyborg: Hey, look at that! Pie! I love pie! (The pie hunter comes back with a machine gun on his car and fires on Cyborg) AAA!!

Pie Hunter: Grr! Mess up driving record, I mess up your pie!!

Cyborg: (Terrified) AAA! OH! OH MY GODNESS! (He jumps in his car and flees for his life. Pie hunter gives chase in his car, and continues firing at him) This is so scary! I just wanted to get some pie! Get away! You are a careless motorist!

Pie Hunter: No pie for you! I make you DIE now! (he rams into Cyborgs car, making him scream in terror) MWAHAHAHAHA!

(A pothole appears on the road)

Cyborg: POTHOLE!!!

(Cyborg avoids it but the Pie Hunter hits it, and spins out of control)

Pie Hunter: Woah! WOAH! WOAH! AAAAA...

(His car spins off the road and hits a tree, making it explode)

Cyborg: Oohh! That's what you get for being a carless motorist! Booyah! (arrives at Pie resturaunt) Just in time for pie. (He parks and gets out of his car, and starts singing and dancing) ''When I say I want you say pie! I want pie! I want pie! When I say yummy...''(The pie hunter, who survived the crash arrives in a helicopter, and fires on him again) AAAA!!

Pie Hunter: HAHA! I bet you didn't know I had helicopter!

(He destroys Cyborgs car)

Cyborg: My Car!

Pie Hunter: I KILL YOUR STUPID PIE! (He destroys the pie place)

Cyborg: NOOO!! (he collapses in despair)

Pie Hunter: HAHA! Okay I go now. (He flies away)

Cyborg: I hate you pie hunter.

(Game Ends)