Becky's Bad-itude

The Narrator says ANOTHER PEACEFUL SATURDAY MORNING AS BECKY AND BOB WATCH A LITTLE TV.

The TV show song says IT'S VANILLY AND BILLY GO VANILLY AND...

The Narrator says UGHHH, SHE'S WATCHING THAT AGAIN?

Becky sings IT'S VANILLY AND BILLY! GO VANILLY AND BILLY! OH, NO, VANILLY AND BILLY!

Bob cover his ears.

Becky says YOU'RE MISSING THE BEST PART!

Bob whoops.

Becky says WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO BEST PART? THIS SHOW IS, UH... GREAT! YOU SEE, VANILLY AND BILLY ARE COUSINS WHO ARE SECRETLY A PRINCE AND PRINCESS, WHO WORK UNDERCOVER IN OUTER SPACE AS ROCK 'N' ROLL NINJAS!

Bob says AHH, AHH.

Becky says YEAH, I KINDA DIDN'T GET IT AT FIRST. BUT EVERYONE IN MY CLASS LIKES IT, AND IF YOU FORCE YOURSELF TO WATCH IT, IT GROWS ON YOU... EVENTUALLY.

[guitar riff playing]

Billy and Vanilly play the guitars on TV.

Becky says UGH. I MEAN... AWESOME! OKAY, SO MAYBE THEIR MUSIC DOES LACK A LITTLE MELODY... UGH, AND IS SOMETIMES PAINFUL TO LISTEN TO. BUT EVERYONE AT SCHOOL SAYS THEY'RE BETTER LIVE, AND THEY'RE HAVING A CONCERT THIS WEEKEND. MAYBE WE CAN GET TICKETS!

Mr. Botsford opens the door. He carries camping gear.

He says SWEET FRONT ROW CENTRE! DID SOMEBODY SAY "TICKETS"?

Becky says HEY, DAD! UH, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CAMPING GEAR?

Mr. Botsford says WELL, BECKY, I HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU. I JUST SPENT THE DAY CAMPED OUT IN FRONT OF THE CITY THEATRE TO GET US TICKETS - FOR SOMETHING!

Becky says YOU DID? PLEASE SAY VANILLY AND BILLY, VANILLY AND BILLY, VANILLY AND BILLY...

Mr. Botsford says WELL, IT WAS KIND OF HARD TO CHOOSE. I MEAN, THERE ARE THREE EVENTS HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME! THERE'S AN ANTIQUES COLLECTIBLE CHEESE AUCTION. HARD TO SAY, FUN TO GO TO. AND THEN THERE'S SOMETHING CALLED VANILLY AND BULLY?

Becky says BILLY.

Mr. Botsford says AND THEN THERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING CALLED... THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS ROLLERAMA!

Mr. Botsford shows the tickets.

Becky says WHAT?!

Mr. Botsford says I'VE GOT SQUISHY FUNBOTS TICKETS - IN MY HAND!

Bob says AHH, AHH, AHH!

TJ SAYS SQUISHY FUNBOTS TICKETS?! WAY TO GO, DAD!

A yellow robotic creature giggles on TV.

It sings HAPPY, HAPPY, NAPPY TIME MUNCHY, MUNCHY, LUNCHY TIME MAKES ME HAPPY

TJ Sings MAKES ME HAPPY...

Mr. Botsford says WOO, WORK IT, ALL RIGHT!

Becky says BUT -

Mr. Botsford says YOU KIDS HAVE LOVED THESE SQUISHIES SINCE YOU WERE IN DIAPERS. AND YOU'RE STILL IN A DIAPER, BOB, SO OF COURSE YOU LOVE 'EM.

Becky says BUT, DAD, WE'RE TOO OLD FOR THIS SHOW. IT'S TOO JUVENILE. WE'VE OUTGROWN IT.

TJ SAYS YOU OUTGROW YOUR PANTS, BECKY; YOU DON'T OUTGROW FUN!

Becky says BUT –

TJ, Dad and Bob dance.

TJ sings HAPPY, HAPPY, NAPPY TIME SLEEPY, SLEEPY NAPPY TIME

The Narrator says THE NEXT DAY...

Becky and Bob walk around.

Becky says BEEP-BEEP, BOP-BOP, BOOP-BOOP-BOOP TWEET-TWEET, LA-LA, TOOT-TOOT-TOOT

The Narrator says HEY, ISN'T THAT'S A SQUISHY FUNBOTS SONG? I THOUGHT THAT SHOW WAS TOO...

Becky says JUVENILE? IT IS, BUT WHAT CAN I SAY? WHEN I WAS LITTLE, THEIR SONGS ALWAYS CHEERED ME UP.

The Narrator says SO, YOU'RE SINGING A SQUISHY FUNBOTS SONG BECAUSE YOU'RE UPSET THAT YOU HAVE TICKETS TO SEE THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS?

Becky says IT'S A LITTLE MORE COMPLICATED THAN, UHH...

They keep walking.

Becky hums and sings MAKES ME HAPPY, MAKES ME HAPPY...

Victoria and Hunter pass by.

[sheepish laughter]

Scoops says HEY, BECKY, BECKY! WAIT'LL YOU HEAR MY LATEST SUPER COLOSSAL SCOOP! I, TODD "SCOOPS" MING, REPORTER EXTRAORDINAIRE, JUST LANDED AN EXCLUSIVE BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW WITH NONE OTHER THAN... VANILLY!

Becky says FROM VANILLY AND BILLY?

Scoops says THE NINJA ROCK PRINCESS HERSELF!

Becky says THAT'S SO COOL! WAIT, WHAT ABOUT BILLY?

Scoops says BILLY SPEAKS TO NO ONE.

[dramatic music]

Scoop says ANYWAY, THEY'RE SOLD OUT, SO I HOPE YOU GOT A TICKET.

Becky says OH, YES, I HAVE A TICKET. I DEFINITELY DON'T LACK A TICKET.

Scoops says UHH, LACK?

Becky says OH, YEAH. WHEN YOU LACK SOMETHING, IT MEANS YOU DON'T HAVE IT. LIKE, JUST SAY I DIDN'T TECHNICALLY HAVE A TICKET TO VANILLY AND BILLY; THEN I'D LACK A TICKET. BUT I'M NOT. I MEAN, I HAVE A TICKET, SO, YOU KNOW... YEAH.

A boy wearing a yellow funbots t-shirt passes by singing HAPPY, HAPPY, NAPPY TIME! MUNCHY, MUNCHY, LUNCHY TIME!

Scoops chuckles and says HEY, REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO LIKE THAT JUVENILE MUSIC?

Becky says BARELY! IT WAS SO LONG AGO. WHAT?

The Narrator says LATER THAT NIGHT, IN LINE AT THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS CONCERT...

Becky says SHHHH!!

The Narrator says YOU DO KNOW PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU, RIGHT?

Becky says ARGH! WHY IS THIS LINE SO SLOW?

TJ says HEY, BECKY, AREN'T THOSE YOUR FRIENDS STANDING IN LINE TO SEE VANILLY AND BILLY?

Becky says AHHH!

She hides under a squishy funbot helmet.

A boy says HEY, EVERYONE, PUFFY THE FUNBOT'S HERE!

Lots of kids surround Becky.

[cheering]

Becky says UGH.

That and the kids wait for the show to start.

TJ says DAD, THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER!

Mr. Botsford says I'M JUST HAPPY WE CAN ENJOY THE FUNBOTS AS A FAMILY! HEY, I KNOW - LET'S TAKE A PHOTO AND SEND IT TO EVERYONE WE KNOW. AND ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS, AND THEIR FRIENDS!

He takes a picture.

Mr. Botsford says HMM, TELL ME I'M WRONG, BECKY, BUT I'M SENSING YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.

Becky says WHAT?! NOOOO, I USED TO LOVE THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS!

TJ says DON'T YOU MEAN, STILL LOVE THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS?

Becky says OH, SURE, FUN IS IN THEIR NAME! THEY'RE SQUISHILICIOUS!

Bob holds a pair of binoculars.

Becky grabs them and says LET ME SEE THOSE.

[irritated shriek]

Becky says I WANT TO MAKE SURE I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY HERE. OKAY, DON'T KNOW THEM... NOPE, STRANGERS... OH, SHE'S PRETTY; DON'T KNOW HER... WAIT, THAT HAT LOOKS A LOT LIKE THE ONE SCOOPS WEARS.

Scoop turns around. He wears a fake moustache and a beard.

The Narrator says WHAT'S Dr. TWO-BRAINS DOING BACKSTAGE AT THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS CONCERT?

Dr. Two-Brains grabs two sketches and hands them to his henchmen.

Dr. Two-Brains says OKAY, BOYS, YOU KNOW THE PLAN. WE GET IN, GRAB ALL THE TICKET MONEY, GET OUT, GO TO THE CHEESE AUCTION ACROSS THE STREET, AND USE ALL THE STOLEN MONEY TO BID ON THE CHEESE AT THE AUCTION.

One of the henchmen raises his hand.

Dr. Two-Brains says YES, WHAT IS IT?

Henchman says BOSS, WHY DON'T WE JUST STEAL THE CHEESE FROM THE AUCTION?

Dr. Two-Brains says HEY, IT'S NEVER A STRAIGHT PATH WITH ME; YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW! A pink robotic creature passes by, then a blue one.

Dr. Two-Brains says UGH, LET'S HUSTLE. THIS PLACE IS... TOO SQUISHY!

Henchman says BUT THEY'RE SQUISHY FUNBOTS. THEY CAN'T BE SQUISHY FUNBOTS IF THEY'RE NOT SQUISHY! OR CAN THEY?

Dr. Two-Brains says WILL YOU STOP SAYING SQUISHY? LET'S GO, WE HAVE TO FIND THAT...

[whistling]

A henchman lies over piles of bags with money.

[triumphant music]

Dr. Two-Brains says SERIOUSLY, THEY JUST LEAVE BAGS OF MONEY LYING AROUND? WHAT, DO THEY LACK A SAFE OR SOMETHING?

A henchman lifts up a bag.

He says HMM, NOT BAD! WAY LIGHTER THAN A BAG OF CHEESE, HUH, CHARLIE?

Dr. Two-Brains says OKAY, NOW GRAB THOSE MONEY BAGS AND - HEY, LIGHT AS A FEATHER; YOU'RE RIGHT! NOW, LET'S GET THIS CASH OVER TO THAT CHEESE AUCTION BEFORE EDITH VON HOOSINGHAUS GETS HER CRACKERS ON MY CAMEMBERT!

A Stage Manager pops up and says HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING BACK HERE? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON STAGE FOR THE OPENING NUMBER!

Dr. Two-Brains says WHAT?!

A blue squishy funbot pushes Dr. Two-Brains to the stage.

He says HEY, NO!

Henchman says WE'RE PUTTIN' ON A SHOW! FINALLY!

[orchestra warming up]

The curtains open. A pink oval creature with antennas, keyboard teeth and a star on the belly appears on screen. Then, other creatures in different colours appear, too. Dr. Two-Brains and his henchmen appear on stage.

They sing SAY, HELLO HELLO! HELLO! IT'S THE WAY WE START THE DAY THE DAY! SAY, HI!

Dr. Two-Brains says HI!

The song continues AND CHASE YOUR CARES AWAY! YOU WON'T HAVE ANY WOES

Dr. Two-Brains says WOES

The pink creature sings IF YOU GLADLY GREET THE DAY

Dr. Two-Brains says DAY

The song continues BE KIND TO FOLKS AND THEY'LL LIKE YOU!

Dr. Two-Brains says I LIKE ME! THAT'S THE SQUISHY... FUNBOT WAAAAAAY!!!

Dr. Two-Brains pops up in between two funbots and says YEESH, THEY EVEN FEEL SQUISHY.

[cheering and applause]

Becky says Dr. TWO-BRAINS, HERE?! WEIRD. WELL, HE MUST BE UP TO SOMETHING EVIL... I GUESS?

Bob is delighted with the play.

Becky says UH, BOB?

She stands in front of the binoculars and points to the stage.

Henchman says HEY, NICE FINISH, BOSS!

Dr. Two-Brains says WELL, THANKS. YOU KNOW, I DID PUT ON A FEW SHOWS IN COLLEGE.

Word Girl comes up flying.

She says YEAH? MAYBE YOU CAN PUT ON A FEW MORE SHOWS... IN JAIL!

Dr. Two-Brains says WORD GIRL! THEY DO SHOWS IN JAIL?

Word Girl says OH, UM... DO THEY DO SHOWS IN JAIL?

Captain Huggyface says AHH?

Becky says UM... I... DON'T KNOW! BUT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO CHECK FOR YOURSELF WHEN YOU GET THERE! HA, TOTALLY SAVED THAT ONE.

Dr. Two-Brains says HEY, WAIT A SECOND, WORD GIRL. HOW'D YOU EVEN KNOW I WAS GOING TO BE HERE?

Word Girl says WELL... UHH, 'CAUSE... LOOK, I WASN'T IN THE AUDIENCE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE THINKING.

Dr. Two-Brains says I WASN'T THINKING THAT. BUT HEY, NOW I AM! YOU ACTUALLY LIKE THESE SQUISHY THINGS, DON'T YOU? AREN'T THEY A LITTLE, UH -

Word Girl says WHAT, JUVENILE?!

Dr. Two-Brains says I WAS GOING TO SAY GROSS, BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT...

Word Girl says SO THEY'RE A LITTLE JUVENILE; SO WHAT? THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T LIKE THEM!

Dr. Two-Brains says OUCH, I THINK WE HIT A NERVE, BOYS! IMAGINE, WORD GIRL WATCHING A JUVENILE SHOW LIKE THIS!

[laughing]

The henchmen stare at him.

Dr. Two-Brains says WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS LAUGHING?

Henchman says WE DON'T KNOW WHAT JUVENILE MEANS.

Word Girl says OH, WELL, JUVENILE MEANS IT'S MORE FOR KIDS THAN FOR GROWNUPS. LIKE, THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS IS A SHOW MADE FOR VERY YOUNG KIDS, SO IT'S KIND OF JUVENILE.

Henchman says OH. WELL, ME AND CHARLIE KINDA LIKE IT TOO. DOES THAT MAKE US JUVENILE?

Dr. Two-Brains says YEAH!

Word Girl says NO!

[heavy sigh]

Dr. Two-Brains says I KNEW I SHOULD'VE ROBBED THAT SHOW ACROSS THE STREET. THAT - WHAT WAS IT CALLED, STINKY AND BLINKY?

Word Girl says IT'S CALLED VANILLY AND BILLY.

Dr. Two-Brains says VANILLY AND BILLY. UGH, THEIR MUSIC IS TERRIBLE!

Word Girl says HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?! THEIR MUSIC IS... TERRIBLE. NO, YEAH, IT'S JUST AWFUL.

Dr. Two-Brains and the henchmen run with the money.

Captain Huggyface says AHHH!

Word Girl says GET HIM, HUGGY!

She tosses Huggy. He falls over a henchman.

Henchman says OOF! BOSS, HELP!

Captain Huggyface runs with a bag of money.

Dr. Two-Brains says GIMME THAT CASH; I HAVE TO GET OVER TO THAT CHEESE AUCTION.

He jumps over Huggyface and grabs the money.

Dr. Two-Brains says OOPS!

He runs away. Word Girl flies and stands on the door. The henchmen turn around. Word Girl flies and ties them up with a rope.

Dr. Two-Brains laughs and says BYE, WORD GIRL!

[maniacal laughter]

Word Girl says HUGGY, STOP HIM!

Huggyface jumps over Dr. Two-Brains’ head and covers his eyes.

Word Girl says HA!

Dr. Two-Brains says OH, HUH? WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS? TELL ME IT'S NOT ONE OF THOSE SQUISHY THINGS, PLEASE!

The Director of the show says to the assistant ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THE FUNBOTS OUT THERE AND START THE SHOW.

The funbots walk to the stage.

[beeping]

Dr. Two-Brains runs and says AHHHHH!

He walks out to the stage. He manages to get rid of Huggyface.

Captain Huggyface says AHH, AHH, AHH!

Dr. Two-Brains says HA, I'M FREE!

[beeping]

The funbots surround Dr. Two-Brains.

He says OH, NO.

[beeping]

The funbots bump into Dr. Two-Brains.

He says AHHHHHH, NO! SQUISHY!!! WHOA! WHOA! OW!

Mr. Botsford says BEEP-BOP, BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. TWEET-TWEET-TWEET-TWEET, DOODLE DOO DOO - EVERYONE!

TJ and the funbots sing HAPPY, HAPPY, NAPPY TIME SLEEPY, SLEEPY, NAPPY TIME MAKES ME HAPPY MAKES ME HAPPY

Dr. Two-Brains says NO, PLEASE! NO MORE SINGING! AND NO MORE SQUISHING! MAKE IT STOP!

Word Girl says SURE THING!

Word Girl holds Dr. Two-Brains. He sighs heavily. The show ends.

[cheering and applause]

Becky and Bob get back to their seats.

TJ says YOU GUYS MISSED IT! Dr. TWO BRAINS MADE A SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE! WHICH, NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, DIDN'T MAKE A WHOLE LOT OF SENSE. BUT IT WAS AWESOME!

Becky says UH, HEARD WORD GIRL WAS HERE, AND HELPED CAPTURE HIM.

TJ says WORD GIRL? SHE LIKES THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS TOO?!

Becky says WELL, I HEARD SHE KINDA SORTA LIKES VANILLY AND BILLY. NOT A LOT... OR AT ALL. SHE'S TRYING! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE HAS TO STOP LIKING THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS! EVEN IF THEY ARE A LITTLE JUVENILE.

Scoops says CAN I REPORT THAT? I MEAN... CAN I REPORT THAT, YOUNG JUVENILE, WHO I DO NOT KNOW AND HAVE NEVER MET?

Becky removes Scoop’s fake moustache and beard.

She says SCOOPS. WHAT A SURPRISE.

Scoops says VANILLY CANCELLED MY INTERVIEW AND, WELL, THEIR MUSIC SORTA HURTS MY STOMACH. AND I LOVE THE SQUISHY FUNBOTS! I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!

Becky says ME, TOO!

A pink Squishy Funbot says C'MON, HUMANS, SING IT WITH ME!

She sings BU-DUM-BUM-BUM SLEEPY, SLEEPY, NAPPY TIME HUNGRY, HUNGRY, TUMMY TIME

The Narrator says AND SO, ONCE AGAIN WORD GIRL SAVED THE DAY AND THE SHOW! AND MAYBE IT'S A LITTLE JUVENILE OF ME TO SAY, BUT I AGREE WITH TJ. YOU MIGHT OUTGROW YOUR PANTS, BUT YOU NEVER OUTGROW FUN! TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER FUN-FILLED, NEVER-LACKS-EXCITEMENT EPISODE OF WORD GIRL!