The Barbarian Sublimation


 * Sheldon: Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She's interfering with my sleep, she's interfering with my work...and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that, too.
 * Leonard: Why should I do something? You're the one who introduced her to online gaming.
 * Sheldon: Yes, but you're the one who said hello to her when she moved in. If you'd simply restrained yourself, none of this would be happening.
 * Leonard: Why don't you just tell her to leave you alone?
 * Sheldon: I did! I told her, I texted her, I sent out a very emphatic Twitter, I even changed my Facebook status to "Sheldon Cooper wishes Penny would leave him alone"! I don't know what else to do!
 * Leonard: Well, what am I supposed to do?
 * Sheldon: I don’t know, but if you don’t figure something out, I warn you I shall become very difficult to live with.
 * Leonard: You mean, up until now we’ve been experiencing the happy funtime Sheldon?
 * Sheldon: Yes.
 * Leonard: I’ll go talk to her.


 * Penny: [whispering] Sheldon.
 * Sheldon: [Jerking awake] Danger! Danger!
 * Penny: Sheldon, it's me.
 * Sheldon: You're in my bedroom.
 * Penny: I need your help.


 * Penny: Why? I’ll tell you why. Because today I had an audition, it took me two hours to get there, I waited an hour for my turn, and before I could even start they told me I looked too Midwest for the part. Too Midwest? What the hell does that even mean?
 * Sheldon: Well, the American Midwest was mostly settled by Scandinavian and Germanic peoples who, well they have a characteristic facial bone structure….
 * Penny: I know what it means, Sheldon! God, you know, I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, and I haven’t got a single acting job, I have accomplished nothing, haven’t gotten a raise at work, haven’t even had sex in six months, and just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it.
 * Sheldon: Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures, they’re almost pure protein.


 * Penny: Uh, Queen Penelope AFK. What?
 * Leonard: Okay, um, here’s the thing, um, sometimes people, good people, you know, they start playing these games and they find themselves through no fault of their own, you know, kind of, addicted.
 * Penny: Yeah, get to the point, I’m about to level up here.
 * Leonard: Well, i-i-i-it’s just if a person doesn’t have a sense of achievement in their real life it’s easy to lose themselves in a virtual world where they get a false sense of accomplishment.
 * Penny: Yeah, jabber jabber jabber, okay boys, Queen Penelope’s back online.
 * Leonard: Penny, you’ve got Cheetos in your hair.
 * Penny: (pulling cheeto out of hair) Oh, thanks. (Eats it.)