Plunder the Sea

(Setting: On a ship at sea, at night. The captain and a sailor are out on the deck. Suddenly, bubbles start rising up out of the ocean, and the sailor notices this.)

Sailor: The sea! It boils!

''Giant tentacles start rising out of the sea and begin to smash the ship to pieces. In a matter of seconds there is nothing left of it. The captain has survived and is trying to cling to pieces of wreckage to stay afloat, when the thing that attacked the ship starts to rise out of the sea beneath him. It has a giant human head with a beard, glowing eyes, and tentacles coming out of the "neck".)''

Captain (voice-over): Never have my eyes beheld such horror as that loathsome face lurking in the depths.

(Setting: Agrabah. The captain is in the throne room of the palace, telling his story to the sultan, Jasmine, and Aladdin.)

Sultan: We should send a salvage crew to retrieve the cargo, but who would brave the dangers of Neptune's Triangle for a mere ten percent of a chest full of gold?

(Iago and Abu are also in the throne room. They haven't been paying attention up until this point, but at the mention of a treasure they sit up and take notice.)

Iago: Uh, how big a chest are we actually talkin' about?

Aladdin: No problem, Sultan. I'll do it.

Captain: It's much too dangerous. No ship could survive! Why, you'd have to have the courage of… Captain al-Butros.

Sultan: The nautical hero? Who defeated the Seven Fleets of Jambalaya?

Jasmine: A man of his courage and ability could definitely do it!

Aladdin: So, you don't think I could handle it?

Jasmine: Aladdin, no one is doubting you…

Iago: (to Abu) I see that gold slippin' through our fingers. (to Aladdin) You're gonna let this al-Butros guy hog the spotlight? I say we go with him.

Aladdin: Yeah! And we'll just see who's the great hero! (stomps away)

Jasmine: (rolling her eyes) Men.

(Setting: later, down at the docks. Aladdin, Iago, and Abu arrive.)

Aladdin: Great hero, huh? I'll bet he hasn't faced mud creatures or—

(Aladdin sees al-Butros's ship; the rigging is covered with little red flags.)

Aladdin: Okay, so his ship has dozens of victory flags.

(Captain al-Butros walks into view. He is very tall and muscular.)

Aladdin: And, yeah, yeah, I guess he looks kind of impressive.

(A rope holding up a heavy load of cargo begins to snap, and there is a seagull directly underneath it. al-Butros sees this, runs down and catches the cargo before it crushes the bird.)

Aladdin: (sigh) And I guess he is a lot braver and stronger than I am.

Abu: Nuh uh!

Aladdin: (looking at his clothes) I must look pretty stupid. (takes Genie's lamp out of his vest and rubs it)

(Genie is wearing a pink ballerina's outfit and dances around for a few seconds before Aladdin taps him on the shoulder, which knocks him over.)

Genie: Aw, darn it, Al! We're just getting to the part where the fawn dies!

Aladdin: Genie, you've gotta help me! I don't want to meet Captain al-Butros looking like a landlubber!

Genie: (gasps) The Captain al-Butros? Who defeated the Seven Fleets of Jambalaya?

Aladdin: Whatever! Just make me look like a sailor, would ya?

(Genie gives Aladdin a fancy pirate outfit, then turns himself into a parrot.)

Genie: Awk! Polly wanna cracker! Awk!

Iago: As a parrot, I find that stereotype very offensive!

Genie: He'll never mistake you for a landlubber in this disguise!

(Aladdin walks up to al-Butros, who is raising his ship's anchor by himself, with his bare hands.)

Aladdin: Captain al-Butros? I am Aladdin. I come—

al-Butros: (sarcastically) Terrific. A landlubber.

Aladdin: (glaring at Genie) Uh, yeah. (handing al-Butros a scroll) By order of the sultan, you must prepare your ship to salvage precious lost cargo. Uh, where's your crew?

al-Butros: Ha! Crew? Crews are for weaklings! You'll be my crew! Make yourself useful, finish pulling up the anchor!

(al-Butros gives the chain holding the anchor to Aladdin, but he can't hold the weight and is pulled overboard into the water)

al-Butros: This is no time for a swim, boy! We sail at once! Into glory!

(Setting: night. al-Butros's ship is out at sea in the middle of a storm. The cabin door opens and Aladdin steps out, with Abu clinging to his neck, and slowly crosses the deck, fighting against the wind. He finally makes it to the ship's wheel, where al-Butros is standing, laughing.)

Aladdin: Captain, shouldn't you go below deck?

al-Butros: Haha, and miss all this? Never is one so alive as when facing a fine, strong storm at sea! You must look death in the eye and laugh! (laughs)

(Abu waves goodbye to Aladdin, lets go, and lets the wind blow him back into the cabin.)

Aladdin: But, I see I've overestimated ya. You are afraid.

(Aladdin takes a rope and ties himself to the ship's mast. al-Butros continues laughing at the storm. Aladdin laughs nervously.)

(Setting: the next morning. The sea is calm now, but the ship's sails are in tatters from the storm. Genie, Iago, and Abu come up on deck and see Aladdin, asleep, soaked with seawater and still tied to the mast.)

Genie: Al, are you okay?

Aladdin: (waking up) Agh, that's the dumbest thing I've ever—

al-Butros: Wasn't that exciting, boy?

Aladdin: Exciting? Obviously you've never faced the poisoned winds of Garleeka!

al-Butros: No… but you've probably never endured the razor whips of Dyspepsia!

(Abu chatters excitedly and points at something in the ocean.)

Aladdin: It's the figurehead from the lost ship!

al-Butros: Listen… It's too quiet. The sea is dead calm. Even the birds won't venture into these waters. We're in… Neptune's Triangle!

Genie: Neptune's Triangle! The deadliest waters known to man! Graveyard of lost ships! Doom of a thousand sailors!

al-Butros: My kinda place! We dive here!

Iago: Dive?! You mean into the water?! I mean, uh, Abu and I had better stay up here and, uh, help Genie haul up my gold. I mean, the sultan's gold.

Abu: Uh huh, uh huh!

al-Butros: Good! We men will dive, while your pets remain behind.

Iago and Genie: Pets?

Aladdin: Uh, I'll get the harpoons in case that… that thing shows up.

al-Butros: (tying weights to his belt) Harpoons? Bah! A real man needs no weapons. I'll rip that filthy monstrosity apart with my teeth.

Iago: Ick! Be sure to floss afterwards.

Aladdin: Uh, how are we supposed to breathe down there?

al-Butros: Breathe? Bah!

Genie: (creating two large bubbles) No problem, Al! Breathing's no trouble with the magic Genie bubble! Order now, supplies are limited! As seen on TV.

(The bubbles cover Aladdin and al-Butros's heads like diving helmets. al-Butros is annoyed and tries to pull his off, but it won't budge.)

Aladdin: (handing one end of a rope to Genie) Genie, when you feel me tug on the rope, pull the cargo up.

Genie: I'm down wit' that, homie!

(Aladdin jumps overboard. al-Butros, still struggling with his bubble-helmet, is pushed overboard by Genie. As they sink towards the ocean floor, a school of bright yellow fish swims by.)

Aladdin: Incredible!

(Aladdin tries to pet one of the fish. al-Butros yells at it and scares it away. They finally reach the ocean floor.)

al-Butros: Come, let's find a shark! I've always wanted to wrestle one in his own element.

Aladdin: Uh, why don't we find the gold first and then you can get yourself killed?

al-Butros: Ha ha ha! A shark, kill me? Never lose your sense of humor, boy!

(Aladdin sees the shipwreck off in the distance.)

Aladdin: Wow! Captain! Over here!

(A short while later, Aladdin is tying the rope to the treasure chest.)

Aladdin: That oughta do it! (tugs on the rope)

(Back up on deck, Genie, dressed as a fisherman, feels the tug. He turns the rope into a fishing line and starts to reel it in.)

Genie: Ooh, feels like a big one!

(Abu chatters excitedly.)

Iago: Ooh, there's nothing I like better than a big golden chest!

Aladdin: I've got a bad feeling about this place.

al-Butros: (teasing) Oh, afraid of that sea monster, eh?

Aladdin: Uh, of course not! It's just that slaying demons gets dull after the first few hundred. Besides, I don't believe all that nonsense about a giant—

(A giant red, glowing eye appears in front of Aladdin.)

Aladdin: Sea monster!

(Tentacles start reaching through the hull of the shipwreck after them. Aladdin grabs a piece of wood and starts hitting one, while al-Butros grabs another tentacle and arm-wrestles it.

al-Butros: Come on, you slimy little…

(More tentacles appear and grab Aladdin and al-Butros and pull them out of the shipwreck, towards the monster's mouth.)

(Later, back on the ship…)

(Iago is throwing the treasure from the chest up into the air and laughing maniacally, while Genie and Abu watch, bored.)

Genie: I really thought he'd quiet down after the first hour.

(Abu chatters something to Genie.)

Genie: You're right! They've been down there too long! We'd better go check on them.

(Genie creates a bubble for Abu's head, and one covering Iago's whole body.)

Iago: No, I don't wanna go down there! It's wet and it's spooky!

(Abu kicks Iago into the water, and the others jump in after him.)

(Aladdin and al-Butros are in what looks like a control room, full of levers and gears. They are just now regaining consciousness.)

al-Butros: The afterlife!

Aladdin: …is a boiler room?

Mechanicles: (stepping out of the shadows) Wrong! You are inside my latest diabolical invention!

Aladdin: Mechanicles?!

Mechanicles: Yes, Mechanicles! Greatest of the great Greek geniuses!

al-Butros: Come on, boy! We'll make shark bait out of this pencil-necked Greek!

(They run at Mechanikles, but he pulls a lever and bars raise out of the floor, caging them.)

Mechanicles: Now down to business. (holds up two outfits, one dirtier than the other) Which of these two tunics would you say is the cleanest?

Aladdin: Uh…

Mechanicles: Correct! The one on the left. That is because this one was washed in the ordinary way, while this one was steam cleaned.

Aladdin: Don't tell me: you're gonna boil the ocean and steam clean the Earth.

Mechanicles: Gold star for Aladdin!

al-Butros: How did you figure that out?

Mechanicles: This vessel is actually a giant steam cleaner! Pumps suck water in, zoom, then, woosh! Out comes lovely steam! Isn't it just lovely? Couldn't you just spit? At last, I'll exterminate all the Earth's filthy germs and all the filthy people that carry them! But, to get the materials to build this thing — my my my, what a chore — I had to wreck thirty or forty ships all by myself.

Aladdin: Life's rough when you're your own boss.

al-Butros: I am master of the Seven Seas! Violate them and you answer to me! (bends the bars of the cage)

Mechanicles: Impressive! Tell me, who's your fitness trainer?

(Aladdin and al-Butros climb out of the cage, but Mechanicles pulls another lever and a trapdoor opens beneath them.)

Aladdin: This guy has a lever for everything!

al-Butros: No trap can hold the mighty Captain al-Butros!

Aladdin: Do you ever get tired of talking like that?

al-Butros: A true man never tires!

Mechanicles: The time has come to execute my fiendish plan and get my revenge on you, Aladdin!

Aladdin: You see? It's me he wants revenge on. Uh, what did you just mean by "revenge"?

Mechanicles: You are in the salt filter! I cannot clean the Earth with salt water! In five minutes this chamber will be filled with salt and you'll suffocate! (laughs, and the trap door closes)

(Mechanicles starts pulling lots of levers and his machine rises up to the ocean surface. It then starts sucking in seawater and expelling steam out of its mouth.)

(Aladdin stands on al-Butros's shoulders and tries to push the trapdoor open again.)

Aladdin: It's sealed tight!

(Genie, Iago, and Abu are swimming along the ocean floor.)

Genie: Welcome to the saltwater world of Cap'n Genie!

(A yellow and purple fish swims past them.)

Genie: Ah, the rockfish. A miracle of nature's subtle camouflage.(examining a piece of wood on the sea floor) A piece-of-wood fish! Shrewdly concealed, it fears no predator.

Iago: Some underwater expert the blue boy turned out to be!

Abu: Hey! (points at something)

Iago: You've got two seconds to tell me that I'm dreaming. One, two… aaaaah!

Genie: ''Oo la la! C'est un grand monstre!''

(The three of them are sucked into Mechanikles's machine, go through lots of pipes, and finally land in the salt filter, which is now full up to the two men's necks.)

Genie: Al, buddy! You're okay!

Aladdin: Genie, get us outta here!

al-Butros: Wait! I won't stand for being rescued. It's unmanly!

Iago: Okay, how about he rescues me, and you just come along to protect me?

al-Butros: I could live with that.

Aladdin: Can you do something?

Genie: Well, I guess I could pull out this plug I'm standing on.

Aladdin: Just do it!

(Genie pulls out the plug and they're all sucked back out into the ocean. They start swimming up to the surface, but Aladdin is caught in the current and sucked back toward the machine. He's caught in the intake valve for a few seconds, causing the whole machine to shake and groan. Genie turns into a seahorse and carries Aladdin away from the machine. He then turns into a whale and swims towards the others with his mouth open. He grabs them in his mouth and carries everyone to the surface. Whale-genie then shoots them all back onto the ship's deck with his blowhole.)

Aladdin: (pointing to the machine, with clouds of steam rising from it) It's the monster! It's started!

al-Butros: We'll ram it head-on! (raises the sails, then steers the ship towards the machine)

Aladdin: No! You'll wreak the ship! You saw how that thing shook when I was blocking the hole! It was from pressure! If we could—

al-Butros: (pushes Aladdin away) Coward! We'll do this the manly way!

Aladdin: There's nothing manly about getting us all killed! I'm through trying to prove I'm your kind of hero! I'm taking over the ship!

(Aladdin and al-Butros fight over the ship's wheel.)

al-Butros: Never! I am master of this ship!

(The two continue fighting, until they accidentally roll overboard, pulling Abu with them.)

Genie: Hang on, Al! I'm coming! (turns into a life preserver and jumps into the water)

Iago: Nuh uh! No way! This time I am not getting off the ship!

(Mechanicles sees the ship coming towards him.)

Mechanicles: Another ship? This is getting ridiculous! (making notes on a scroll) "Smash ship to bits… again."

(The machine's tentacles rise out of the water around the ship. Iago sees them, screams, and flies away.)

(Underwater, Aladdin and al-Butros are still fighting. Aladdin passes out from lack of oxygen. al-Butros sees the machine passing by overhead and swims after it, while Abu saves Aladdin. They all reach the surface in time to see the ship being destroyed.)

al-Butros: My ship!

Aladdin: (to Genie) We've gotta do something!

(Aladdin sees the treasure chest floating on a piece of driftwood.)

Aladdin: Genie! Grab the chest!

Iago: Good idea! Save the gold!

Aladdin: We can use it to plug that hole!

Genie: (as a giant rubber duckie) You got it, duckie! (picks up the chest)

Iago: Wait, Genie! Bad idea! (weeping) Not the gold! Not the gold!

al-Butros: My ship!

Mechanikles: (seeing that Aladdin and his friends have survived) Well, these guys certainly are hard to get rid of! (pulls a lever) But not impossible!

(The machine's tentacles start heading towards them again.)

al-Butros: My ship! I'll get you for this!

(al-Butros swims toward a tentacle, which wraps around him. Another tentacle grabs Abu. Aladdin starts climbing up the tentacle that has al-Butros, trying to free him.)

al-Butros: Forget about me, boy! Get that barracuda who destroyed my ship!

Aladdin: But you'll be crushed!

al-Butros: Then I shall go out in a blaze of glory such as—

Aladdin: All right, all right, I'll go, just shut up!

(Genie swims toward the hole, carrying the treasure chest.)

Genie: Let's see, divide the rate of suction by speed of rotation… (is sucked toward the machine)Whoops! Deja vu!

(Genie is sucked into the machine, but the treasure chest gets lodged in the hole after him. The machine starts to shut down.)

Aladdin: (climbing up the machine's face) Way to go, Genie! (jumps into its mouth)

(Aladdin enters the machine's control room, where Mechanicles is still trying to pilot it.)

Aladdin: Time to give up the ship, Mechanicles!

Mechanicles: Ha ha! Not as long as I have my secret weapon! (pulls a lever; nothing happens, then he makes a note on a scroll) "Repair secret weapon."

(Aladdin dives at Mechanicles, who jumps out of the way.)

(al-Butros and Abu are still being held by the tentacles. Iago flies up to Abu.)

Iago: Uh, look, would it help if I fled in terror?

(Another tentacle swats Iago away.)

(Genie is pushed through the pipes of the machine and ends up coming out of its nose.)

Genie: Ooh, I hope no one gets a picture of me like this.

Aladdin: (still chasing Mechanicles) You're faster than you look! (stops to rest by a control panel)

Mechanikles: Stay away from that lever!

Aladdin: Why?

Mechanikles: It'll destroy my precious invention!

(Aladdin pulls the lever.)

Mechanikles: (writing) "Never tell enemy which lever will destroy invention."

(The machine explodes. Aladdin and Abu swim toward a large piece of driftwood, where Iago also lands.)

Aladdin: You guys all right?

Iago: (coughing) Don't worry about me. How's the gold?

(Genie emerges from the water carrying the treasure chest.)

Genie: Look what I found!

Aladdin: Good going, Genie!

Iago: Score! (high-fives Abu)

Genie: Oh, and I found this, too! (pulls al-Butros out of the water)

al-Butros: I have destroyed the monster of Neptune's Triangle! Another glorious victory for Captain al-Butros!

Aladdin: Fine, you're the great hero. Happy now?

al-Butros: Yes!

Genie: (pushing their driftwood raft off towards the horizon) Next stop, Agrabah! Goodbye, Neptune's Triangle! Goodbye! We'll miss you!

Iago: Like a lobster misses melted butter!

Abu: Oh…

THE END