Robo-Camping

Transcript for Robo-Camping
Narrator: Who’s excited? I sure am! And so are Becky and Violet, because they’re headed to Fair City Scouts Camp for a weekend of fun with nature.

(Scene: the camping area. Various parents are dropping off their kids, and Mr. Botsford is talking to Becky, Violet, and Bob.)

Mr. Botsford: In a few minutes, it’s back to city life for me, but you two will be getting in touch with Mother Nature! Leaving behind all modern conveniences, enjoying  serene  views of mountains and lakes--

(Huggy chatters at him.)

Becky:  Serene  means calm and peaceful!

Mr. Botsford: And don’t forget your sasquatch repellent.

(He holds up a canister and sprays some of the contents into the air. A large creature comes up from behind some bushes, but immediately holds its nose and stomps away. No one else seems to notice it)

Becky: Thanks. (takes the spray can) See you in two days, Dad.

Narrator: Meanwhile, Tobey, evil boy genius, is also being dropped off.

(Tobey and his mother pull up in their vehicle.)

Mrs. McCallister: This is going to be an important trip for you, Tobey, because you’re going to learn to appreciate nature. And hopefully grow out of this silly robot phase.

Tobey: Yes, Mother. That would make sense, except that nature is a thing of the past! Technology and robots are--

Mrs. McCallister: TOBEY! No robots! I don’t want a repeat of what happened last summer at basketball camp!

(We then see a flashback scene from basketball camp. Johnson is trying to play defense against one of Tobey’s robots, but it leaps over him and dunks the basket. Tobey exclaims, “I win again!”)

Mrs. McCallister: Or two summers ago at baseball camp!

(Another flashback from that summer, showing Johnson pitching to one of Tobey’s robots, which uses a telephone pole as a bat and sends the ball flying. Tobey exclaims, “I win again.” and Johnson says, “Aw, that was our last ball!”)

Mrs. McCallister: Or last, last, LAST summer at drama camp!

(A flashback shows Johnson dressed as Macbeth and holding a skull, exclaiming, “To be or not to be, that is the question.” The robot responds, “My data indicates the answer is ‘to be’.” Tobey exclaims, “I win again!” Johnson shouts, “That doesn’t even make sense in this situation!”)

Mrs. McCallister: I mean it, Tobey! No giant robots, end of story! You need to be more  independent , and learn to do things on your own!

(Tobey is now standing outside the car talking to her.)

Tobey: Okay Mother, I promise. No giant robots!

(She drives off. Once she is gone, Tobey ponders to himself.)

Tobey: I didn’t say anything about SMALL robots that turn INTO giant robots! Heh-heh-heh-heh!

(He retrieves a small robot from his pocket and sets it on the ground. He presses a button on a remote, and the robot grows to giant size.)

(Scene: at the campsite. Warden Chalmers is putting up a tent, and there are a couple other tents set up already. Becky and Violet are preparing to pitch their tent.)

Becky: (excited) This is so fun!

Violet: I feel very  independent  being away from home.

Warden Chalmers: Hey kids! Allow me to officially welcome y’all to Fair City’s Scouts Camp. Now, some of you may know me as your local prison warden. But from time to time, I need to… make my escape!

(He pauses and waits for a response. The kids just stare at him.)

Warden Chalmers: To nature, that is! Heh-heh! Y’all get that escape joke? ‘Cause I’m a prison warden. That’s my day job.

(Still no reaction from anyone.)

Warden Chalmers: Anyway, everyone’s doin’ a bang-up job settin’ up the old camp, and I promise you right here and now, that if you don’t have the best time of your lives this weekend, well I’ll eat my hat!

Becky: It’s okay, Warden, you don’t have to--

Warden Chalmers: I’ll eat it!! But right now, let’s all take a moment to soak in the sights and sounds of nature.

(He takes a deep whiff.)

Warden Chalmers: Smell the blossomy marigolds. Look at them-- bending gently in the breeze. Can we all bend like marigolds?

(He raises his hands above his head and sways. The kids follow suit.)

Warden Chalmers: Good. And hear the  serene  call--

(Tobey’s robot plants its foot in front of the Warden.)

Warden Chalmers: Hey! Get off those marigolds!

(The robot steps over him and the kids. Tobey walks over to them carrying a remote.)

Tobey: Would you just look at these adorable tents? It’s like I’ve been-- transported back to a time… I would never want to be transported back to! Robot, build my new home now!

(He presses the button on the remote. The robot lifts up a tree and a hand saw. Then it goes to work behind him, and sets down a finished log cabin, complete with a fireplace and a chair on the front porch.)

Ryder: That cabin looks so comfortable!

Johnson: And you didn’t even have to do any work!

(Tobey is sitting on the chair, pouring himself a glass of lemonade.)

Tobey: Well, congratulations, you’re both capable of stating the obvious. Would you like a tour of the place?

(All of the kids except Becky, Bob and Violet run over to see it.)

Becky: Tobey, why would you bring a robot to a camping trip? I’m pretty sure the whole point of this camp is to learn to respect nature and be  independent ?

Tobey: I AM being  independent ! I only brought one robot. I normally travel with at least a baker’s dozen! But I thought, eh, what the hey… throw caution to the wind. Uh, speaking of which, wind please!

(The robot’s hand comes down with a built-in fan, which blows onto him.)

Becky: Being  independent  means thinking and acting for yourself.

Violet: That is a pretty nice cabin his robot built.

(Meanwhile, the Warden is busy replanting the marigolds.)

Warden Chalmers: Aw, there we go, little marigoldies! (Walking over to Becky and Violet) So, what did I miss?

(He looks up and sees the robot.)

Warden Chalmers: Whoa!

Narrator: As the weekend continues, the campers grow closer to nature… sort of.

(The scene cuts to two fishing lines submerged in water, each with worms on the hooks. Then it pans back to show that the Warden and all of the kids, except Tobey, are fishing. Tobey’s robot is standing behind him.)

Warden Chalmers: Boy, boy! You’re not gonna get anywhere with that roboto-ton fishin’ for ya! I’m sure the robot doesn’t know how to--

(They look over and see that the robot has picked up a fishing boat with a net full of fish. It takes the net and drops the boat back into the water. It then deposits the net behind Tobey.)

Tobey: Oh, look at all of you working so hard. You’re even pretending to enjoy it. How cute!

Becky: We ARE having fun!

(Bob feels a tug on his fishing line, and pulls it back in. It has a boot hooked onto it.)

(Scene: Later, back at the campsite. The Warden kneels in front of a pile of sticks.)

Warden Chalmers: Now one of the hardest but most important skills for survival in the nature is startin’ a good fire!

(He rubs two sticks together frantically, while Bob imitates him. After several unsuccessful attempts, the robot extends a finger toward the pile of sticks. A flame shoots out and ignites the sticks. Bob throws his sticks into the fire in frustration.)

Becky: Don’t even pay attention to him, Bob! We want to learn the REAL way to make a fire. Am I right, everyone?

Emma: (shrugging) I guess.

Ryder: Uh…

Johnson: Not really.

(Scene: Later in the woods. Bob is wearing a belt, which is attached to a knot. We then see a wider view, with Warden Chalmers and the kids standing at the bottom of a cliff. The rope has been slung over an overhanging tree above them.)

Warden Chalmers: And there you have it, campers. Say hello to the world’s strongest knot! Pull on that bad boy.

(Bob pulls hard on his end of the rope while the Warden holds onto the other end.)

Warden Chalmers: I’d eat my hat if that knot didn’t hold up!

(Bob starts to climb the rocky cliff. When he reaches the top, he jump onto the ground and raises his arms in the air in victory. However, he sees that Tobey is already there, sitting in a lawn chair next to a TV built into the chest of his robot, and watching a rock-climbing program.)

Ryder: Oh man, that sounds awesome!

(Scene: Later, back at the campsite. The Warden and most of the kids are sitting on a log around the campfire, roasting hot dogs over the fire. Tobey is sitting on the porch of his log cabin reading a book.)

Becky: Tobey, you’re missing the best part… learning to cook outside!

(He looks up from his book and glances over at her, while a bug zapper above his head attracts insects.)

Becky: Come on! We’re roasting hot dogs.

(His robot slowly lowers a dining table behind him, containing salad, sushi rolls and tacos.)

Tobey: (putting down his book) What? What’s that now?

Becky: Well, we’re also going to roast marshmallows and use them to make delicious--

Tobey: S’mores?

Becky: Yeah, exactly!

Tobey: No, that was a command, I was talking to the robot.

(Tobey has already fixed a plate from the items on the dining table, and his robot delivers him a s’more. He picks it up and eats it.)

Tobey: Mmm, ohh-- delicious. Enjoy eating off of nature’s dirty tree branches, everyone!

(He goes into his cabin and closes the door. Meanwhile, the branch Bob was using to hold his hot dogs broke, and Johnson appears to be covered in marshmallows.)

Johnson: Is this being  independent ?

(Shelby Joy takes a marshmallow from the pile covering Johnson and eats it.)

Warden Chalmers: Okay everyone, fill your bellies and then hit the hay! Tomorrow’s the big hike, and if it isn’t the most enjoyable nature hike you’ve ever taken, I’ll--

Everyone: --Eat my hat!

Warden Chalmers: Ha-ha!

Narrator: The next morning, all the campers are enjoying their  serene  nature hike--even Tobey.

(Behind the campers, Tobey is sleeping in a hammock which is being carried by his robot.)

Warden Chalmers: Hike, hike, hike-- ooh!

(He stops and grabs his knee. The robot stops behind him, waking up Tobey.)

Warden Chalmers: Argh-- trick knee is acting up. That can only mean one thing… big thunderstorm’s on the way.

Tobey: Yes, with all due respect to your trick knee, I happen to know that there is no chance of rain for the next seven days-- I checked my weather bot before leaving on this trip, and planned accordingly.

Warden Chalmers: Heh-heh, little boy, a prison warden’s knee is never wrong. And if it is, I’ll eat my hat!

Tobey: How nice. Still, I prefer to rely on my robots, the technology is slightly more accurate than your leg joint.

Warden Chalmers: Huh… well, perhaps you’re right. We’ll keep goin’!

(They come to an overlook.)

Violet: It’s so beautiful here! I don’t think I can paint anything this amazing. Yes I could.

Becky: I know, it’s so  serene . Tobey, don’t you think it’s  serene ?

(Tobey is wearing headphones.)

Tobey: I’m sorry, I can’t-- (turns off the music player) --I’m sorry, I missed your blathering?

Becky: We were wondering if you were appreciating the peaceful,  serene  view?

Tobey: Peaceful  serene -- Look, I really don’t understand your devotion to nature. All I see are trees, it’s boring.

Violet: But Tobey, trees and nature are so cool. Look how tall the trees are! Can you imagine what it would be like to be that high in the sky?

Tobey: Yeah, I-- well, I guess that could be interesting, looking DOWN on everything from high above…

(The robot lifts him to the top of a tree, and drops him on a branch that extends out.)

Tobey: Yes! Robots win again!

Johnson: It sure would be cool to be up there!

Violet: Sure would. He’s having more fun than any of us.

Warden Chalmers: Yeah, sure looks that way. (He starts eating his hat.)

Narrator: Just then, a freak thunderstorm rolled in.

Tobey: Eh, excuse me? Freak thunder-WHAT?

(Clouds move in, and rain pours down.)

Tobey: Uh, take me down now, robot!

(A bolt of lightning strikes the robot, frying its circuits.)

Tobey: Oh, how could this be? HELP!

Warden Chalmers: I knew it! My trick knee is never wrong!

Tobey: You don’t understand! It wasn’t supposed to rain, so I didn’t waterproof my robot! Come back, robot! I’m stuck!

Ryder: We have to get Tobey down!

Violet: But how?

Warden Chalmers: We can use this rock climbing rope that I brought for rock climbing!

(He throws the rope up to Tobey, and he catches it. But it’s only a short rope.)

Tobey: No, it’s not long enough, it’s useless!

(Bob chatters at Becky.)

Becky: (whispering) No, Bob, I think we should try to do this as a team. Without WordGirl.

(Becky then announces a plan to the rest of them.)

Becky: Why don’t we put our skills to work, guys?

(They all cheer.)

Violet: To work!

Warden Chalmers: Yeah! How?

Becky: Get out your rock climbing ropes! Great! Now let’s use our knot-tying skills to make a rope long enough for Tobey to climb down!

Warden Chalmers: If that knot doesn’t hold, I’ll have to--

Becky: Eat your hat. We know. No time.

Warden Chalmers: Just tryin’ to make a point.

(Bob grabs the rope from them, and flings it at Tobey. He grabs it.)

Tobey: Ooh. That hurt my hand.

Becky: Ugh… Okay, now tie a firm knot to the tree and climb down!

Tobey: Tie a firm… Well, I-- I-- It’s okay, this is just a light drizzle.I’m sure this will pass, then I’ll-- then I’ll just wait for my robot to dry off.

(There is another lightning strike and a loud crack of thunder.)

Tobey: Ahh! Okay, save me now!

Becky: Bob!

(She points at the tree, and he jumps over to it and climbs up to where Tobey is.)

Tobey: Hooray!

(Bob grabs the rope from him, and ties a secure knot to the branch. Then he takes the rope and guides Tobey down to the bottom. Everyone cheers.)

Boy: That chipmunk’s cool!

Narrator: Well, looks like Tobey is safe. Becky and the gang worked together to save the day, and--

Becky: Um, hello, the whole evil robot thing? Remember?

(The robot is grabbing trees and tossing them aside.)

Narrator: Ooh, somebody should do something about that!

(Becky sneaks off with Bob into the woods. They run into a sasquatch. Becky pulls out the can of sasquatch repellent, and sprays it at him, causing him to run off.)

Becky: Word UP! (She changes into WordGirl and takes off with Bob.)

(The robot grabs another tree and tears it in two.)

Tobey: Oh, crackers and jam, this isn’t going to end well. Eh, too bad!

Warden Chalmers: Hey, robot! You stop that right now or I’ll have to-- oooh!

(He pulls the hat off of his head and starts eating it.)

Warden Chalmers: You see what you made me do?

WordGirl: We better act fast, Captain Huggy Face!

(She quickly wraps the rope around the robot, pinning its arms to its body. Huggy kicks it, and it falls over. The kids cheer.)

Warden Chalmers: Campers, I never thought you’d be learning this lesson out in the nature, but a robot is the one thing we DON’T want being too  independent ! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(The kids laugh along with him.)

Violet: Okay. Hey! Where’d Becky go?

WordGirl: I-- don’t know! But I gotta go! See ya! (Takes off with Huggy)

Violet: Okay.

(Becky and Bob come up to join them.)

Becky: Oh, hey Violet!

Violet: Becky, Becky you missed the craziest thing!

Becky: (winking to the audience) Uh-huh!

Narrator: Well, even with Becky aka WordGirl looking for a  serene  weekend out of the city, another crisis is averted, another day saved. And it looks like everyone’s learned a little something about being  independent . Well, except for Tobey. He never really gets it. Join us next time for another exciting, colossal adventure of-- WordGirl!

(At the closing scene, they are all sitting around the campfire, including Tobey. As he tries to get a marshmallow onto a tree branch, the sasquatch comes up and he runs behind the warden to hide. The sasquatch joins them, and they all sit there toasting marshmallows together.)