First One to Win Wins

Transcript for First One to Win Wins
Narrator:  Ah yes, another exciting day in the city...

(Scene:  The park.  TJ is going down one half of a double slide.  As he gets to the bottom, Becky comes down the other slide, arriving right after him.)

TJ:  I win!

Becky:  Oh, come on!

TJ:  I am the  victor !

Narrator:  ...where Becky has been getting beaten by TJ in competition all day long!

Becky:   (sarcastically) Yeah, thanks for noticing.

Narrator:  Don’t get mad at me, that’s my job!

(Becky sits at the bottom of the slide grumbling, and Bob comes down the slide behind her and bumps into her.)

TJ:  First one to touch THAT lamp post,..

Becky:  (runs over and touches the lamp post)  Ha! Looks like I won this time!

TJ:  No Becky, you didn’t even let me finish. I was about to say, first one to touch this lamp post… (touches the lamp post)  … then jump over this piece of wood wins! (he jumps over a wooden board on the ground)  Ha! I am the  victor !

Becky:  Urrg! (clenches her fists as TJ walks away)

(Nearby, Tim Botsford is talking to a hot dog vendor.)

Mr. Botsford:  I’ll take four hot dogs, please. (The vendor hands them to him as TJ and Becky approach)  ...and then, one for each of them, too!

TJ:  Oh, Becky! (TJ grabs his hot dog and begins eating it, then shoves it in his mouth and speaks in a garbled voice)  First one to finish eating the hot dog wins! (swallows the rest of the hot dog)  Done!  Victor ! I win!

Becky:  Wait, that wasn’t fair! Plus, it’s bad manners to talk with your mouth full! (The vendor tries to hand her a hot dog as she walks away, then holds out another one for Bob, who grabs both of them.)

TJ:  First one to… get in trouble for using bad manners wins!

Mr. Botsford:  Well, what do you know? I was just about to ask you to mind your manners. I guess TJ wins again!

Becky:  But, Dad…

TJ:  Sorry Becky, but you heard the man. First person who wins wins! I win AGAIN! I am the  VICTOR ! (Becky continues to grunt in frustration, then finally calms herself down)

Becky:  Why are you talking like that?!

TJ:  Oh-- it’s the catchphrase of my favorite wrestler, Victor the  Victor . Every time after he wins, he stands on the ropes and yells, “I am the  VICTOR !”

Becky:  Do you even know what “ victor ” means?

TJ:  Reminds me of the word “victory”... which is a win. Does  victor  mean winner?

Becky:  No, it means-- oh, well yeah, actually  victor  DOES mean winner!

TJ:  Ooh! I am the  victor  at defining  victor !

(Tim Botsford and Bob are sitting on a bench nearby, listening to the conversation.)

Mr. Botsford:  (laughing)  Oh, TJ!

Becky:  But-- what-- everybody quit laughing at him! It’s not funny!

(TJ sits on the bench next to Bob)

Mr. Botsford:  Becky, we’re just having fun. Don’t take TJ’s games too seriously!

Becky:  (yelling) I’M NOT! Can we please just go home? (walks into the board next to the lamp post, and trips)  TJ, you should probably pick that up before someone else trips on it! (walks off)

Mr. Botsford:  Wow, Becky’s  fuming !

TJ:  And I can see why!

Mr. Botsford:  You do?

TJ:  Yeah, I mean… it must be tough having a little brother who always wins… at everything!

(Tim Botsford, Bob and TJ all laugh together.  Meanwhile, Becky is sitting nearby on the slide, gritting her teeth.)

(Scene:  The Botsford house.  Becky is talking to Bob in the living room.)

Becky:  Ugh! Of course I’m  fuming , Bob! I didn’t beat TJ in one game today!

(Bob holds up his hands and chatters at her.)

Becky:  I don’t know why it bothers me so much. But it does! And it will until… I am the  VICTOR ! Bob-- put up your hand! Hey, TJ!

(TJ is sitting at the dining room table, eating a bowl of ice cream)

Becky:  First person to high-five Bob WINS!

(TJ stops eating and stares at Becky, with his mouth hanging open.  Becky prepares to deliver a high-five to Bob, but suddenly sees The Butcher walk by their window.  He seems to be pushing some sort of cart full of money and a trophy, and turns to talk to someone or something.)

Butcher:  C’mon! I got some meat for ya! (The view shifts to outside, where it is seen that a poodle is following him.)  Anything you want! Hot dogs… all right, stop licking my finger..

Becky:  Suspicious…

(While Becky is distracted, TJ has come over to Bob, and gives him a high five)

TJ:  Yah! I am the  victor ! (TJ walks away with a smug look)

Becky:  Nooo! That did not just happen! Ok, Becky. (trying to calm herself down)  Focus on the job. Stopping the Butcher. That’s what matters! Not beating TJ at some made-up game! There! All better! Come on, Bob! Let’s go! (Goes out the door with Bob, her voice noticably distraught)  WORD UP!

(Scene:  A sidewalk near the Botsfords’.  The Butcher is pushing his cart past some buildings,  when it stops abruptly.)

Butcher:  Aw, come on! What’s wrong with this thing? (Several meat items has fallen out of the bottom.)  It’s gonna take me all day.

(WordGirl arrives on the scene.)

WordGirl:  Looks like you’ve officially gone to the dogs, eh, Butcher?

Butcher:  WordGirl! I’m not exactly sure what you mean by gone to the dogs, but frankly it sounds a little insulting! To both me and the dog.

WordGirl:  I can tell you just stole Mrs. Van Hoosinghaus’ prize-winning dog, and her prize money! (to dog)  You a good little woofie-woofie-woof! (The dog returns a good-natured bark.)  I love dogs. Anyway, you’re in big trouble, Butcher!

Butcher:  Oh yeah? (puts his palms out)  Kielbasa Ka-blam! (WordGirl holds up a trash can lid to deflect the attack.  A couple sausages stick to the lid.)

Gavin Dunnaher:  (walks by, sees the kielbasa links and grabs one)  Ooh, don’t mind if I do!

WordGirl:  You’re gonna have to do better than that, Butcher!

Butcher:  Huh! Okay, uh… then… Bratwurst Blast! (Butcher launches another attack, and Huggy jumps in front of WordGirl and ends up wearing an outfit of bratwurst.)

Butcher:  Monkey in a meat sweater! It’s nice!

WordGirl:  You might as well face it, Butcher! Your meat missed its mark today, and now YOU’RE going down! I WILL BE A  VICTOR !

Butcher:  What’s with all the shouting today, huh? It’s like you’re purfumin’ or something!

WordGirl:  You mean “ fuming ”, not “perfuming”!  FUMING !

Butcher:  Right, right! Uh,  fuming … I think. Help me out here?

WordGirl:  The word “ fuming ” means really, really, really annoyed and bugged and fed up and irritated and angry and all those things put together!

Butcher:  Oh yeah, you’re  fumin ’ all right! But, uh… why?

WordGirl:  I’m  fuming  because… uh… let’s just say there’s a certain family member who needs to win at every little thing! It’s like my whole life has become a contest!

Butcher:  Oh yeah, tell me about it! My dad, Kid Potato, he’s the same way.

WordGirl:  Really?

Butcher:  (sits down)  Yeah, he’s always sayin’ he’s a better villain than me when he was my age. And I mean, how does he think that makes me feel?

WordGirl:  RIGHT?! And you don’t know why it makes you feel that way, it just DOES!

Butcher:  (quietly repairing his cart)  Uh huh, uh huh…

WordGirl:  And the more you think about it, the more it makes you want to SCREAM!

Butcher:  So this is really bugging you, huh? (he has now repaired the cart and is standing behind it)

WordGirl:  Oh, yeah…

Butcher:  Oh well, great! HAMBURGER HAMMER!

WordGirl:  Exactly… wait, what now? (Gets pummelled by flying meat)

Butcher:  Come on, Wolfgang! Don’t eat the trap! So long! Ha-ha-ha-haa!

WordGirl:  (breaking her head through the meat trap)  Aah! I lost AGAIN!

Narrator:  First TJ, now the Butcher?? Rough day!

(Several unidentified cameras appear to take picture of WordGirl trapped in the meat, as if rubbing salt in the wound.)

(Scene:  The Botsford house.  WordGirl and Huggy land by the house and change back.)

Narrator:  Later, back at the Botsfords’... Becky returns home, still  fuming !

Becky:  Don’t worry. I’ll feel much better once I’m the  victor . Which will be any minute now, because I’m not going to let myself be tricked again! (gives a nervous laugh)

(TJ is in the back yard, holding a rake.)

TJ:  Becky, it’s great to see you!

Becky:  Wait, really?

TJ:  Yeah, now I can go back to winning everything!

Becky:  Well I have some bad news for you, TJ! For the rest of the day, I’M going to be the  victor  in any game you think up!

TJ:  (thinks for a minute)  I’ll bet you can’t rake up more leaves than me!

Becky:  Oh, yeah? (grabs the rake from him)  We’ll see about that! (TJ walks away smiling)

(Becky rakes all the leaves into a pile, and throws her hands up in triumph.)

Becky:  Ha! I won! Finally! I AM THE -- (She looks around, and sees TJ relaxing in a hammock beside her, holding a drink.)  TJ?

TJ:  Thanks for doing my chores for me, sis! DOUBLE win!

Becky:  Wha--? Ah--  (drops rake, smiling)  I’m really the winner here, because I like a clean yard! (The wind picks up, blowing the leaves at her, along with a newspaper.  She looks at the front page-- with a picture of her and Huggy covered in meat!)  Hey! Seriously?! How could this even be in the newspaper already?!

TJ:  First one to sip this lemonade wins!  (He takes a sip of it)  I’m the  victor !

Becky:  Argh!

(Scene:  Becky’s bedroom.  Becky and Bob are sitting on the bed.)

Becky:  Because of TJ’s games, I went from annoyed, to angry, to really angry, to  FUMING ! I’m so upset I can barely think straight!

(Her dad walks by the door.)

Mr. Botsford:  Becky, I understand that you’re upset, but this is your fault too, you know.

Becky:  Huh?

Mr. Botsford:  You know, you don’t have to accept TJ’s challenges    by getting angry. If he wants to play the  victor  and eat a hot dog first, or touch a lamp post before you do, so what? What does it matter?

Becky:  I don’t know! But somehow TJ makes it matter!

Mr. Botsford:  (laughing)  TJ’s just doing what little brothers sometimes do. But don’t worry-- some things are more important than being the  victor .

Becky:  Like what?

Mr. Botsford:  Like doing the right thing.

Becky:  (thinking this over)  Huh… maybe you’re right.

Mr. Botsford:  Oh, and Becky-- the first person to tie their shoe wins!

(Becky looks frantically at her shoes, then starts giggling)

Becky:  Nice try, Dad! I know you’re just testing me.

Mr. Botsford:  You got me! (leaves, just as TJ shows up)

TJ:  First one to the kitchen wins! (takes off)

Becky:  Aha-ha. Go ahead, be the first one. See if I care. (becomes visibly uncomfortable)  Aah! I care!  (gets up and runs toward stairs)

(TJ reaches bottom of the stairs with his arms raised)

TJ:  Ah, yeah, I’m the v-- what??? (Sees Becky sitting at the dining room table)

Becky:  Ha! Now I am the  victor ! Woo-hoo! (dancing)  You know it, I won it, you know it, the  victor , I’m the  victor , I’m the  victor --

TJ:  Well gee, Becky, who cares who got to the kitchen anyway, right Dad? Becky, why does that matter so much to you? It doesn’t matter at all to me!

Mr. Botsford:  It’s nice to know someone around here has the right attitude. (Turns and walks back up the stairs.)

(Becky stands there gaping, and TJ raises his arms)

TJ:  (whispering)  I am the  victor !

Becky:  Aah! I won, and I still lost! (Hears a burglar alarm in the distance)  That has to be the Butcher! And my chance to finally be THE  VICTOR ! WORD UP!

(Scene:  The National National Bank, where The Butcher is sitting on top of the bank vault, which he has somehow dragged out through a hole in the side of the bank.  He has strapped Wolfgang to the front of it with sausage links, like a reindeer, while he sits on top holding the reins)

The Butcher:  All right, Wolfgang, hit it! (Wolfgang just sits there eating sausages.)  C’mon! Mush! (The dog tries to move, but collapses)  Huh. In blindside, this probably wasn’t the best idea!

WordGirl:  (arriving on the scene)  I think you mean hindsight, Butcher!

Butcher:  Ahh, WordGirl! Back for more, huh?

WordGirl:  That’s right! And this time, I’ll end up the  victor !

Butcher:  Oh, we’ll see about that! First one to barrage WordGirl with a blast of meatballs wins! (WordGirl and Huggy jump out of the way, and Wolfgang gets covered in meatballs.)

Butcher:  First one to trap WordGirl in a hot link fence wins! (Once again they avoid the attack, and the links pile up around Wolfgang.)

(The Butcher jumps down off of the vault, and WordGirl and Huggy land in front of him.)

Butcher;  Firsts one to bury WordGirl in a pastrami storm wins! (He generates a tornado of pastrami, which pulls the bank vault off the ground and onto the roof.)

WordGirl:  Ha! You didn’t even win one, Butcher!

Butcher:  Ha! Neither did you!

WordGirl:  (frustrated)  No, maybe not yet, but I will -- be -- THE  VICTOR !

(Huggy chatters and points at the roof of the bank, where the vault is teetering ominously, threatening to fall onto Wolfgang.)

Butcher:  Heh-heh-heh! First person to safely escape while WordGirl is busy saving Wolfgang, WINS! (runs off)

WordGirl:  If I save Wolfgang, the Butcher will go free!

(She then hears her dad saying “Remember Becky, some things are more important than being the  victor , like doing the right thing!”)

WordGirl:  The right thing to do here is, save Wolfgang! (She flies over and catches the falling vault, saving Wolfgang.)

Butcher:  (running through the park, gloating)  Ha! I win again, WordGirl! I did it! I’m the winner! I beat WordGirl! WHOA! (falls down suddenly)  Oh man!

(WordGirl and Huggy arrive.  It is revealed that The Butcher tripped over the same board that TJ had jumped over at the start of the episode.)

WordGirl:  Looks like you took an unplanned trip! (elbows Huggy)  Heh-heh, get it? Trip?

Butcher:  Yeah, I get it. And who leaves a piece of wood where someone can trip on it?!

TJ:  (jumping out of the bushes)  Woo-hoo! First person to trip The Butcher wins! I am the  victor ! (the Hot Dog Vendor hands him a hot dog.)  I wish Becky was here to see this. Becky? Becky?

(Two officers are on the scene to drag the Butcher off to jail.)

WordGirl:  Well, I’m glad everything turned out right in the end!

Narrator:  So, you’re not  fuming , even though it was more of a win for TJ than it was for you?

WordGirl:  NO! Heh-heh, no. Because in that moment, choosing to save Wolfgang was more important than defeating the Butcher, and… ahem… thanks to TJ, we still defeated the Butcher! So the way I look at it, I’m still the  victor ! Right?

Narrator:  Yeah yeah, I get it. You are the  victor ! So I guess there’s just one thing left to say--

WordGirl:  What’s that?

Narrator:  First person to wrap up the episode wins!

WordGirl and Narrator (together):  Join us next time for more exciting adventures of WordGirl! (laughs)

WordGirl:  First one to fly away wins!

Narrator:  Hey, I can’t fly!