The Truth in the Lye

"The Truth in the Lye" Episode 2x05 Written By: Scott Williams Directed by: Steven DePaul Transcribed by: everywhereto_me

Disclaimer: The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned by Hart Hanson, all rights reserved. This transcript is not authorized or endorsed by Hart Hanson or Fox.

TEASER

(Open: Hallway of house. We hear moaning; mattress bouncing. Pan to bed.)

BOOTH: [Out of breath] Wow! [Sighs] God, that was- Yeah, that was-

REBECCA STINSON, Booth's ex: Amazing.

BOOTH: And a huge mistake.

REBECCA: Huge.

BOOTH: Huge.

[Both start to put clothes on]

REBECCA: Why do we keep doing this?

BOOTH: Well, you know, we don't. I mean, what's it been? Twice in the past year?

REBECCA: Three. Four, if you count that stakeout.

BOOTH, putting on underwear: Okay, you know what? That wasn't s*x.

REBECCA: Maybe not for you. But... this is it.

BOOTH: You know what? You're right. But, I mean... it's not like we're doing anything wrong. I mean, you and Drew are-

REBECCA: We needed to take a break. To gain...perspective. But, um, this isn't helping.

BOOTH: And that's why it's over.

[looking at each other]

REBECCA: Done.

[Cell phone ringing]

BOOTH: That's mine.

REBECCA: Yeah.

[Booth climbs over her, giving us a nice shot of Booth in his tightie-whities.]

[climbing over her-]

BOOTH: Ow. Oh. Ow!

[Booth falls off bed, picking up phone-]

[Rebecca begins to make the bed]

BOOTH: Booth. Yeah. Address. [picks up paper] Hey, you know, I, uh-

REBECCA: Oh, no, no, no. Me too. I have to pick up Parker from school.

[Rebecca gets off bed]

[Booth stands up, begins dressing-]

BOOTH: Oh, you know what? Make sure that you bring him the comic that I got him. He loves that.

REBECCA: Yeah, sure.

[Booth enters the bathroom, closes the door]

[Booth's cell phone, on the bed, rings. Rebecca picks it up, glances toward closed door.]

[Opening phone-]

REBECCA: Uh- uh- Agent Booth's phone.

[Cut to- BRENNAN at the Jeffersonian, at her computer]

[Looking shocked, confused-]

BRENNAN: Oh, hi. It's Dr. Brennan. Is Agent Booth... available?

[Cut to- REBECCA, putting on clothes, looking uncomfortable]

REBECCA: Uh, available? Yeah, Dr. Brennan, I-

[Booth steps out of bathroom, with no shirt on, looking at Rebecca. Rebecca urgently hands him the phone.]

[Cut to BRENNAN-, who still looks confused]

BOOTH [on the phone]: Yeah, Bones. What's up?

BRENNAN: Nothing, just seeing if you got the call, and if you were swinging by to pick me up or-

[Cut to BOOTH, who is putting on his shirt-]

BOOTH: Oh yeah. Um, I'm just gonna have to meet you there, okay?

[Cut to BRENNAN-]

BRENNAN: [fast] Okay, bye.

[hangs up the phone]

[Cut to BOOTH]

[Cut to BRENNAN]

[Cut to BOOTH]

BOOTH: [to Rebecca] You don't, uh, think she thought-

REBECCA: No. No, we have a child together. It's perfectly normal for us to- to be together.

BOOTH: Right, uh, it's not like this is ever gonna happen again.

[mouth's really close, almost kissing this entire conversation]

REBECCA: No. Exactly. Okay, um, are you done with the bathroom?

BOOTH: Yeah.

REBECCA: Okay, thanks.

[she walks off screen]

[Cut to- the CRIME SCENE. It's a construction site. There is lots of yelling, and a "You're clear!" as Booth drives in.]

[He gets out of the car.]

BRENNAN: Sorry if I interrupted anything.

[they walk]

BOOTH: [obviously lying] What? Oh! No. No, you didn't.

BRENNAN: Good.

BOOTH: Okay. But if you must know, you know, Rebecca, my ex... she stopped by my place to pick up a comic that I got Parker.

BRENNAN: Okay.

BOOTH: She just so happened to pick up the phone. That's it. You know? Nothing more, nothing less.

[turning a corner]

BRENNAN: I'm sorry. Did I say I must know?

[cut to- a condominium under construction. It is all wooden beams.]

[They enter an unfinished bathroom]

[There is a bathtub, filled with what cannot be described with words. It is a deteriorated corpse floating in a chemical combination of household cleaning products]

BOOTH: [off screen] Ooh, very nice. [groans]

[Booth puts on a mask]

[Brennan, talking into a tape recorder-]

BRENNAN: Age and s*x undetermined.

[Close up on an arm sticking out of the tub of nastiness.]

BRENNAN: Victim is immersed in a pool of- [sniffs] what smells like a composite of domestic corrosives-

BOOTH: It smells more like, uh-

BRENNAN: -Common drain declogger, acid wash, bleach. Submerged two to three days.

BOOTH: [takes off mask, points to tub] All right, are you saying that he's been here all weekend just dissolving?

BRENNAN: [circling tub] Allowing the killer time for the corrosives to do their thing.

MAN: [off screen] Excuse me. Can I get in here, please?

[Booth turns around, revealing-]

MAN: Yeah, I'm Pete Valero. I'm the development contractor.

BOOTH: Okay.

PETE VALERO: [walking into room] Yeah, I came as soon as-

[tub bubbles]

[Pete turns around, vomiting in the sink]

BRENNAN: There could be evidence in there.

BOOTH: [gesturing to tub] I'd say most of it's right in there.

BRENNAN: I'll need Zack to help me extract the remains and whatever else is beneath the surface.

BOOTH: Wouldn't it be a lot easier if we took the whole tub?

PETE: No, no, no, wait. That, that tub is a- is a Godive 3000. These things aren't cheap.

BOOTH: Oh do you think anybody is actually gonna want this Godive 3000 after this?

PETE: Well, would they have to know?

[Brennan scoffs]

PETE: [defensive] Look, I'm just saying, with subsidized housing the government wants every nickel accounted for.

BOOTH: I'll get you a receipt... if you can tell me why the boss of the job is just showing up right now.

PETE: [looking at Booth] I was at the dentist. I got a call in the middle of a root canal. Who knew... [looks at tub] I'd be better off there?

BOOTH: [points to tub] Do you know who this is?

PETE: How would I know?

[Brennan has gloves on and is using tongs]

PETE: I got over 200 workers on this site alone... not to mention all the kids and the- the vandals coming through here on the weekend.

[splash]

[Brennan is pulling skin out of the tub using tongs]

PETE: [turning away, looking sick again] Oh, my god.

BOOTH: Oh, god. Bones! [to Pete] Wait out there.

BRENNAN: [holds up the skin with tongs] It's only skin. Okay, I'll need that window, a forklift, and a flatbed.

BOOTH: Why?

BRENNAN: You called it. We want answers... [taps tub] the tub is coming with us.

[removes what looks like a person's hair with the tongs]

[Close up on the tub. It bubbles]

[END TEASER]

[CREDITS]

[COMMERCIAL SET]

[ACT ONE]

[At the lab with Zack, Angela and Hodgins. The tub is being lowered onto a metal platform]

HODGINS: Down. Lower, lower, lower. Keep going, keep goin'. Aand...good! [removing straps from tub] Oh, this is gonna be fun.

ZACK: I should get my video camera.

ANGELA: I may need a Compazine. (NOTE: Compazine: a drug used to control severe nausea and vomiting)

CAM: [walking on screen] They'll be none of that. No fun, no video, no vomit. [close up of tub] Ooh! Then again=

BRENNAN: [walking on screen] We have to hurry. Those chemicals are eating away at our victim.

[Zack hands Brennan goggles and gloves.]

ANGELA: Is there any chance he was... put in there alive?

HODGINS: If we find any rope or duct tape on the body, I'd say there's a good chance.

CAM: Okay, people. Let's start with the who. We'll worry about the why and the how later.

BRENNAN: But if we find the why and the how first, we'll gladly take it.

[Cam and Brennan are staring at each other]

CAM: Though "who" is clearly the priority.

BRENNAN: The who is not going to change. But the clues might if we don't hurry.

[Hodgins and Angela look at each other and roll their eyes]

CAM: [giving up on Brennan] What's our starting weight, Zack?

ZACK: Starting weight is [looks at display] 542.13.

BRENNAN: The tub itself weighs about 200 pounds. Capacity is 34 gallons.

CAM: Which at about 8.3 pounds a gallon comes to 270. 275.

HODGINS: And two-thirds full makes it about 180... putting this guy somewhere in the 160-pound weight class.

[Brennan nods]

[Cam is stirring the tub, where orange is starting to appear]

CAM: The cream always rises. Or in this case, melted body fat. [raises tong, melted body fat drips off] I'll measure its volume to determine body type.

HODGINS: [scooping some disintegrated body substance into a beaker] I'll start separating all things chemical from organic.

ZACK:[off screen] And I know you requested a strainer of some sort, Dr. Brennan... [he comes on screen, holding a pitchfork] but I thought this could be of use.

BRENNAN: For the big pieces, maybe.

CAM: After that, old McZacky, get on the horn with the coroner's office and tell them I want two field-unit water sifters sent here ASAP.

ZACK: They get mad when I drop your name.

CAM: Then drop it twice.

[Zack sticks pitchfork into tub]

ANGELA: Talk about the proof in the pudding.

BRENNAN: Oh, even for me, this is disgusting.

ANGELA: [grinning] Was this too much even for Booth?

BRENNAN: [giving Angela a look] He's still questioning workers at the site. [turning around] Hopefully, [picks up tray with what looks to be a pile of hair on it] there's enough skull here for a partial reconstruction. [hands the tray to Angela]

ANGELA: [looking at the tray] Hmm. I've worked with less.

[Using the pitchfork, Zack picks up a long, orange...thing from the tub]

ZACK: Right femur's pitted and brittle. [looks at it closely] Marrow's practically gelatinized.

BRENNAN: [looking at the bone] Our victim's elderly.

CAM: [looking up] Well, that's a bit of a leap.

BRENNAN: Well, not really. Zack hold still. [She grabs a paper towel and wipes a part of the bone, revealing something metal] It's a hip replacement.

CAM: [peering at the hip replacement] Don't these things usually come engraved with serial numbers?

BRENNAN: Uh, not this one. It looks like the chemicals burned those off too.

[Zack puts down his plastic face cover. He carefully puts the hip replacement on a tray using the pitchfork.]

[Cut to- Booth walks into Cam's lab]

BOOTH: Hey, so where is Mr. Tub-O-Lard? [pan to Cam, putting something in a strainer] I figured they'd bring him here.

CAM: Lard, I've got plenty of. The rest of him's in the "ookey" room where he belongs.

BOOTH: Oh! Wow, so then that nasty yellow goop is-

CAM: Fat. 9.3 liters so far.

[Zack walks into the lab]

ZACK: Oh, good, Booth, I'm sure you'll want to see this too.

[Zack is holding a jar of brown goop]

BOOTH: What is it?

ZACK: Guess.

CAM: Maybe not, Zack.

ZACK: [excited] It's our victim's wallet. Can you believe it? Leather, cash, cards- every shred of identification, completely emulsified.

BOOTH: Mmm, wow. You know what, Zack? I'd like to go back to the old arrangement, where you don't talk to me directly, okay? [Booth pats Zack's shoulder]

CAM: [to Zack] Have my water sifters arrived yet?

ZACK: Yes, that's how I found the wallet.

BOOTH: Okay so the point of this is?

CAM: Doing what the wallet can't. Right now, I'd say our victim's an ectomorph. Thin, linear, narrow features. And I hear you're back with your ex.

BOOTH: I'm sorry?

CAM: Rebecca, right? Reliving old times?

[Booth chuckles. Sort of]

[Booth glares at Zack[

ZACK: Uh, I'll just keep sifting.

BOOTH: Yeah. [Zack leaves] [to Cam] Dr. Brennan told you?

CAM: Oh, relax.

BOOTH: She did, didn't she?

CAM: We all have our weak moments.

BOOTH: No. Mm-mmm. We don't, okay? [starts to leave, turns around] I don't.

CAM: Please, Seeley. Like we haven't shared enough of them for me to know better. [They look at each other. Cam chuckles. Booth leaves]

[Cut to the forensic platform. Brennan is examining something under a microscope. Booth is in the background sitting on a chair]

BRENNAN: I was not gossiping.

BOOTH: Ooh, really? So then what would you call it?

BRENNAN: Merely sharing a point of interest.

BOOTH: Great. So now what am I, huh? [Booth gets up and starts to walk toward Brennan] The world's largest ball of string?

BOOTH: Not you, your behavior. [Brennan lifts her head up from the microscope and turns around] It was a textbook example of just how helpless we higher primates can be to our biological urges.

BOOTH: I am not helpless.

[Brennan sighs and turns back to the microscope[

BRENNAN: He's not elderly.

BOOTH: I can control my, uh- Who?

BRENNAN: Our victim. You see these marrow cells? The lack of collagen indicates osteogenesis imperfecta. Brittle bone disease.

BOOTH: And that's supposed to tell me he's not...old?

BRENNAN: Not necessarily. And if you're not helpless, then why did you sleep with her?

BOOTH: Oh, I really don't recall saying that I did.

BRENNAN: You didn't have to. I could hear it in your voice. I might as well as walked in on you having s*x.

BOOTH: [scoffing] You didn't and we weren't. [starts walking away]

BRENNAN: Well, it's nothing to be ashamed of, Booth. [Booth turns around, fake smiling] Humans act upon a hierarchy of needs, and s*x is very highly ranked. It's an anthropological inevitability.

BOOTH: Thank you, Bones. I really appreciate you boiling me down to your anthropological inevitabilities.

BRENNAN: Sure.

BOOTH: Anytime.

BRENNAN: You know, if our victim had brittle bone, there could be a web site of some kind. He might have been listed.

[cut to- The Angelator. Brennan and Booth are standing next to Angela, who is seated next to her computer.

ANGELA: Afraid not, honey. There's no official database. But I did track down eight cases of brittle bone in the area.

BOOTH: How many of them are adult male?

ANGELA: Give me a second. [types]

[Brennan glances at Booth. She looks away. Booth glances at Brennan. Angela notices]

ANGELA: What's wrong?

BRENNAN: With what?

ANGELA: This is usually where I type and you talk. You two are never not talking.

BRENNAN: Well, we're not not talking.

BOOTH: Or maybe we're not not...not.

ANGELA: [grinning] Okeydoke. Number of adult males with brittle bone in the metropolitan area is...zero- same with adult females. These are all kids.

BOOTH: Why is that? High mortality rate?

BRENNAN: No. When O.I. is fatal, it's mainly to infants. And only in severe cases.

BOOTH: So our guy has a mild case.

BRENNAN: Type 1. Near normal stature, fragile bones and joints, off-white sclera.

[Angela looks thoughtful. She looks at the computer.]

ANGELA: Is this disease hereditary?

BRENNAN: Mild cases can be. The more severe forms, types 2 and 3, are often the result of a genetic mutation.

ANGELA: But if our guy is type 1 and these kids got it passed on from a parent-

BOOTH: Then all we have to do is contact these kids' families and find out which one is missing a dad. \

ANGELA: Well, let me print you the list.

BOOTH: Print two. We'll split up.

[Brennan looks at Booth then looks away with her jaw clenched]

ANGELA: Hmm.

[cut to- Brennan is holding a card, the print out from Angela, and ringing the doorbell to a house. A woman opens the door]

BRENNAN: Mrs. Seaver?

MRS. SEAVER: Yes?

BRENNAN: I'm Dr. Brennan with the Jeffersonian Institute working in collaboration with the F.B.I.

MRS. SEAVER: The F.B.I.? Is this to do with Larry?

BRENNAN: That would be your husband, Lawrence Seaver? Raymond's father?

MRS. SEAVER: He hasn't answered his cell phone in days. I've left so many messages. Please come in.

[Brennan walks in]

WOMAN ON TV: Meerkats form-

MRS. SEAVER: Ray, honey. We have company.

[There is a boy sitting on a couch]

RAY: Who's she? Did they find Daddy?

BRENNAN: My name is Temperance, Ray. And I'm just here to ask a few questions.

[Brennan picks up a framed picture of the family- Larry, Ray, and Mrs. Seaver]

BRENNAN: You're husband's been missing since-

MRS. SEAVER: Thursday. We didn't think of him as missing. He just left on his business trip like he does every week. But he never fails to at least call us back.

[pan to- Ray's arm. It's in a white cast with lots of signatures on it.]

BRENNAN: That must've hurt.

RAY: Not so much. I'm used to it.

MRS. SEAVER: Ray has brittle bone. It's just a mild form, though, like Larry's.

BRENNAN: [to Ray] You think I could sign your cast?

RAY: [smiling] Sure, I'll get a pen.

[Ray walks off]

BRENNAN: [still holding the picture frame] Mrs. Seaver, I need to borrow this photo.

MRS. SEAVER: Okay. Why?

BRENNAN: Well, we found a body.

MRS. SEAVER: [starting to cry] Oh, god.

[cut to- Brennan and Angela are observing the top of a skull in the Angelator. Brennan is holding the framed photo]

ANGELA: Sorry I couldn't do more. [she presses some things on her notepad PC] Skullcap was falling apart faster than I could put a face on it.

BRENNAN: I'm not sure we'd have a match either way with so little to work with.

[Booth walks in]

BOOTH: Okay, here we go. Got our guy. [he is holding a framed photo]

BRENNAN: What?

BOOTH: Mother and her daughter up in Maryland. Dad missing since Thursday. [he holds up the photo for Brennan to see]

[Brennan holds up her photo with wide eyes]

BOOTH: Who's that?

BRENNAN: Mother and son down in Virginia. Father missing since Thursday.

[Booth takes the two photos. We zoom in on the two pictures. Seeing that the same man is in both pictures, with two different families.]

BOOTH: Whoa. Mine's Lawrence Turner, 35, commercial electrician.

ANGELA: Oh-

BRENNAN: And I've got Lawrence Seaver, 35.

ANGELA: my-

BRENNAN: Commercial electrician.

ANGELA: God.

BOOTH: I think old Larry's got two wives.

BRENNAN: More like two lives.

[END OF ACT ONE]

[commercial set]

[ACT TWO]

[Booth's office. The woman from Booth's picture is sitting in a chair talking on the phone as Booth walks in with a glass of water. Booth sits in the chair on the other side of the desk]

WOMAN: [Into phone] Just make sure Jenny takes her meds. And tell her Mommy will see her in the morning. Thanks Betty.

[Brennan enters as woman hangs up phone]

BRENNAN: How old's your daughter?

[Brennan sits down in a chair besides the woman]

WOMAN: Six and a half. She and Larry, they have a special bond.

BRENNAN: Brittle bone.

WOMAN: You know about that?

BRENNAN: She's type 1 like your husband?

WOMAN: [nodding] He's always felt so guilty about that. He really dotes on her, on both of us.

BOOTH: Mrs. Turner, your husband ever talk about any conflicts at work?

MRS. TURNER: Never. Everyone loves Larry. He's fun, smart, hardworking. That's what keeps him out of town so much.

[Booth and Brennan share a look]

BOOTH: [Uncomfortable, kind of guiltily] Yeah, about that- I didn't realize electricians were called upon to be away from home so much.

MRS. TURNER: There's just so much underbidding. And it's not like we can get by on what I make.

BOOTH: As?

MRS. TURNER: I teach. Eighth-grade science.

BOOTH: Got it.

MRS. TURNER: So he has to travel. [pan to Brennan, who gives Booth a look like 'get on with it'] Go where the money is. Not that he ever complains. [Brennan clears her throat and give Booth a look] It makes coming home to us all the more sweeter, he says. [tearing up] Oh, god! What are we gonna do?

BOOTH: Will you just excuse me for one moment. I'm so sorry. [Gives Brennan a look and gets up from chair]

[outside in the hall]

BRENNAN: These women have to know the truth about their husbands.

BOOTH: They could be in cahoots.

BRENNAN: Cahoots?

BOOTH: If they somehow found out that Larry was two-timing them, they could both want him dead.

BRENNAN: Okay, so what now? We ask them?

BOOTH: No, no, no, no, no. [smoothly] It's all taken care of.

[Booth walks back into the office]

BOOTH: Mrs. Turner, could you please come with me? [leading her out of the office] Right this way. Just wait here in the visitors' lounge. We won't be long. Help yourself to a cup of coffee.

MRS. TURNER: Thank you.

[she goes into a room]

BRENNAN: [walking with Booth] That's the interrogation room.

BOOTH: Not tonight.

[They walk into the viewing room and watch Mrs. Turner through the glass. She is preparing a cup of coffee. There are couches and lamps]

BOOTH: Hmm, nice touch with the kitty posters.

BRENNAN: Who are you talking to?

BOOTH: That couple in there. [Booth looks to a man and woman sitting next to each other on a couch] Agent Curry and Moran. They set up the room.

BRENNAN: I'll never drink FBI coffee again.

[a phone beeps, Booth picks it up]

BOOTH: [into phone] Whenever you're ready, Charlie. [he hangs up the phone]

BOOTH: You know, I almost married her, you know.

BRENNAN: Agent Curry?

BOOTH: Rebecca. My ex.

BRENNAN: Oh. You can talk about her now.

BOOTH: Yeah, she got pregnant. I wanted to do the right thing, but, you know, she said no.

BRENNAN: You've told me this before. Not that you've ever said why.

BOOTH: Well, issues with my job. She wanted to start her own career. She wanted to finish graduate school.

BRENNAN: [skeptical] Alone with a baby?

BOOTH: Logic. Right? You're applying logic?

BRENNAN: Do you still love her?

BOOTH: Not...like I did. Not like that.

BRENNAN: Then why can't it just be s*x?

BOOTH: There's nothing "just" about s*x, Bones.

BRENNAN: But all mammals need it. That release of serotonin. The rush of endorphins. Naturally, you seek it with someone with whom you share a sexual rapport.

BOOTH: Rapport, right. That's the word.

BRENNAN: I know when I'm in need of a release..there's a former partner or two I'm...sure I could call.

BOOTH: Okay, Bones. Thanks so much. I feel so much better now, huh? [looking back towards window. An agent is walking in with Mrs. Seaver] Here we go.

AGENT: [over speaker] Help yourself to coffee, Mrs. Seaver.

[Mrs. Seaver sits down on a couch across from Mrs. Turner]

BRENNAN: Oh, I get it. Very smart.

BOOTH: Well, it's my job, Bones. It's, you know, what I do for a living.

BRENNAN: [looking at Mrs. Seaver and Mrs. Turner] They don't seem like- wait.

[Mrs. Turner is getting up at walking towards Mrs. Seaver. She hands her a tissue, and sits back down]

BOOTH: Hmm, they may as well be in separate rooms.

BRENNAN: Making them either great actresses who are in cahoots-

BOOTH: Or...they have no idea what's going on.

[cut to- the lab. Angela walks up to Cam, who is examining bones on her table]

ANGELA: How could these women not know?

CAM: Brennan was pretty sure that they didn't. And still don't apparently. Booth wants to wait to tell them.

ANGELA: Wait for what? To summon the nerve?

CAM: Maybe. I just wouldn't want these women finding out at the funeral.

ANGELA: I'll take a front row seat for that. [Cam looks at Angela incredulously] Sorry. Did I say that out loud?

CAM: [to Zack, at a table close to Cam] Have you found anything resembling a weapon in the tub yet?

ZACK: Not yet. Why?

CAM: [looking at a close up on her computer] These skull fragments may feel like wet cardboard, but I'm pretty sure we're looking at blunt force trauma.

ZACK: [looking at the close up] I'll second that. Roughly "V" shaped.

ANGELA: Corner of a 2-by-4, maybe?

CAM: Specks of blood at the point of impact. Could've been the lethal blow.

ANGELA: Making him dead before he was doused with lye. Oh, happy day.

HODGINS: [entering] I've isolated our corrosive culprits. [putting on gloves] Sodium hypochlorite, calcium hypochlorite, and hydrochloric acid.

CAM: Available at your local market.

ANGELA: Lucky the whole tub didn't explode.

ZACK: [walking over] It practically did. Along with teeth, I keep finding these tiny shards of copper from the fixtures. [he hands Cam a dish with the shards]

HODGINS: Is that what this is? [using forceps, he holds up a ring]

ZACK: No. That would would be a wedding band.

HODGINS: Braided gold and platinum. Preserved by true love, no doubt.

ANGELA: One metal for each desperate housewife.

CAM: People, can we at least fake some sense of decorum.

ANGELA: I can't help it. It's so Jerry Springer. First of all, how does anyone juggle two spouses?

HODGINS: I can think of ways. Of course, by juggles, I mean quite literally-

CAM: I have a scalpel.

ANGELA: Maybe he dissolved himself so there'd be more of him to go around. [Cam gives her a look] I'm going to hell, aren't I?

HODGINS: I'll save you a seat.

[Angela grins. Cam looks at the two of them.]

[cut to- the construction developer's building. Booth is speaking with the secretary, CHLOE DANIELS, at her desk]

CHLOE DANIELS: Oh, no. Not sweet Mr. Seaver! It can't be him!

BOOTH: Yeah. Well, um, is that your boss in there? [looking into a room behind Chloe]

CHLOE: [ignoring Booth] I mean, who would do something like that? Everybody loves the man.

[MR. VALERO, the contractor from the construction site, looks up and sees Booth.]

BOOTH: Well, you know, not everyone.

VALERO: [to Chloe] Hey, what's goin' on?

CHLOE: Mr. Valero, you won't believe it.

BOOTH: [to Valero] Agent Booth. We met yesterday.

CHLOE: It was Mr. Seaver. That's who was in the bathtub.

VALERO: Wait, Larry? The electrician?

BOOTH: Yeah. Larry the electrician. Now-

VALERO: Son of a bitch! Now I'm never gonna see my money.

[Booth looks at him, surprised by what he just said. He and Chloe look at each other.]

[cut to- another room at the office, only Booth and Valero are present]

BOOTH: You know, I must say, uh, Pete, you're the first person I've come across who's ever had a bad word to say about Larry.

VALERO: Well, the guy does have a way with people. Or, he did. I mean, I liked him too before he got all slippery.

BOOTH: Slippery.

VALERO: I fronted the guy 85 grand to cover electrical supplies. Last week, I got the inspector walking around, and she cites me for cheap materials. Substandard circuit breakers, insufficient G.F.I.'s.

BOOTH: Where'd the 85 grand go?

VALERO: Exactly what I asked Larry. "Show me receipts," I said. [sitting down with his legs up on the table] What do I get? Sob stories of bad bookkeeping, his son's health, problems with the wife.

BOOTH: His wife?

VALERO: Yeah. Like I don't got a wife of my own, right? [chuckles]

BOOTH: [sitting down opposite Valero] You know, you realize, Pete, that everything you're telling me sounds a lot like motive.

VALERO: [scoffs] Great. Do I need a lawyer?

BOOTH: I don't know. You tell me.

VALERO: All right, look. I can't say that I wasn't angry enough to want the guy dead. But like always, I fell back on the old builders' code.

BOOTH: [quoting] "Can't squeeze money from the dead man"?

VALERO: [surprised] You know it.

BOOTH: Well, you know, as codes go, it's hardly limited to builders.

VALERO: No, no, no. It's our code. You can look it up.

BOOTH: No, no. Maybe later. Hey you wouldn't happen to have any of Larry's old paperwork on file? Accounts, receipts..?

VALERO: Yeah, yeah. Sure. [he gets up]

[cut to- Medico Legal Lab - Autopsy Bay]

ZACK: [walking in] I think I've stumbled upon an anomaly, Dr. Saroyan. [he holds up a small item]

CAM: [taking the item] It looks like a splintered ulna bone.

ZACK: But it's not. It's ivory.

CAM: From the tusk of a small elephant?

ZACK: I was hoping you'd know. If you notice these indentations here.

CAM: Like teeth marks on a pencil. See what Angela can make of it. [hands it to Zack] And after that, I'll need you to go back to the crime scene with the photos I'm taking. See what you can find with the approximate shape and dimension of this blunt force wound.

ZACK: Like a murder weapon?

CAM: It needn't look like on. [pointing to the computer] Anything that replicates this pattern.

[Zack walks away as Hodgins enters]

ZACK: [to Hodgins in passing] I'm going on police business.

HODGINS: So proud. [to Cam] Wait, does he mean out? In the world?

CAM: We'll pin our phone number on his shirt. What's that you got there?

HODGINS: Well, having finally hit the very bottom of the tub, I found it plugged with a ceramic stopper, which I lifted and viola. [Cam takes from his hand a short tubular item] What do you make of this?

[Cam examines it]

[Cut to- Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office]

[Brennan is on the couch, reading something]

BOOTH: [walking in] Bones [laughs] are you ready for this?

BRENNAN: Did you tell the wives yet?

BOOTH: No, not yet. [Brennan shakes her head] But I did some checking into two-time Larry's finances. Under the last name Seaver, he's got a half-a-million-dollar life insurance policy.

BRENNAN: Assigning motive to Gayle Seaver.

BOOTH: However, under the last name Turner he's got a living will leaving everything to Lila and their daughter.

BRENNAN: Giving both women motive.

BOOTH: Right. Which is just a matter of which one needed the money more than they needed their Larry.

CAM: [walking in carrying the thing Hodgins gave her] I might be able to help.

BOOTH: With what? A very small used condom?

CAM: It's the finger from a rubber glove. Hodgins just found it wedged under the tub's drain stopper.

BRENNAN: [standing up] Well it was spared the corrosive effects of the lye. Meaning we may be able to pull a fingerprint from the inside.

CAM: No maybes about it. If there's a print, I'll pull it. And when I pull it-

BOOTH: We'll have our killer.

[commercial set]

[ACT THREE]

[cut to-FBI]

BOOTH: It's just standard procedure, Lila. Just press four fingers firmly and hold. [she is getting her fingerprints taken] Our investigation turned up a print at the crime scene. [now Booth is taking Mrs. Seaver's prints] And we just need yours, Gayle, to avoid any possible confusion.

[cut to-FBI]

[Brennan, Booth, and Mrs. Seaver are walking towards Booth's office]

MRS. SEAVER: This isn't gonna take long, is it?

BOOTH: [to Brennan] Our tech has the print you pulled?

BRENNAN: Ring finger, left hand.

BOOTH: [to Mrs. Seaver] Then this shouldn't take long at all. Just wait here. [he usures her into his office]

[outside the office-]

BRENNAN: Wait. Are you sure this is the best time to tell them?

BOOTH: What does that mean? After two days of nagging me, you're just now you're getting cold feet?

BRENNAN: What? I do not nag.

BOOTH: Well, you know, it's an anthropological inevitability for women to gossip and nag. [walks into his office]

[Mrs. Turner is seated, Mrs. Seaver is still standing]

BOOTH: Can I get anyone a soda?

MRS. TURNER: No thank you. [to Mrs. Seaver] Are you on my husband's case too?

MRS. SEAVER: No. I don't work here. You're the, um, lady from the waiting room. You gave me a tissue? [she sits down]

MRS. TURNER: Oh, yeah. That was you?

MRS. SEAVER: Yeah.

MRS. TURNER: Sorry, I'm a little out of it.

MRS. SEAVER: Yeah, I know how that feels.

BOOTH: Actually, ladies, let me make some introductions. Uh, Gayle Seaver, Lila Turner. Lila, Gayle.

MRS. TURNER: Hi. Lila, that was very sweet of you. I- I'd just lost my husband.

MRS. SEAVER: You did? So did I.

BOOTH: Actually, that's...why you're both here really. Um, for the same reason, for the same husband.

MRS. TURNER: I'm sorry?

BOOTH: Yeah. Me too.

BRENNAN: What Agent Booth's trying to say is that your husbands, Larry...are the same Larry.

[Mrs. Turner and Mrs. Seaver look at each other]

BOOTH: Uh, this will help. A little show and tell. Um- [he hands a photo of the Seaver family to Mrs. Turner, and hands a photo of the Turner family to Mrs. Seaver.]

MRS. TURNER: [looking at the photo] Well, this is wrong.

MRS. SEAVER: It's a joke. A sick joke.

BOOTH: Actually, it's not-

MRS. SEAVER: [standing up] My Larry would never-

MRS. TURNER: [standing up] Your Larry?

MRS. SEAVER: Yes-

MRS. TURNER AND MRS. SEAVER: This is my Larry!

MRS. TURNER: He's my husband. What are you talking about?

MRS. SEAVER: [being held back by Booth] Just go ahead and lie like that? [they get physical]

BOOTH: Bones?

BONES: Okay. Let's sit! Everyone just sit down.

MRS. TURNER: This is ridiculous. [she sits down] Fine.

[Booth's office phone rings]

BOOTH: [into phone] Booth. Yeah? Yeah, I'm meeting with them right now. Right. The one from the glove.

BRENNAN: [to Mrs. Seaver and Mrs. Turner] I'm sorry. I can't imagine-

MRS. SEAVER: [holding up photo of Turner family] Whose kid is this?

MRS. TURNER: [holding up photo of Seaver family] Whose little girl is that?

BOOTH: [into phone] Are you sure? Thanks. [he hangs up phone]

BRENNAN: What?

BOOTH: [looking uncomfortable. Out the side of his mouth] Um- The print we found on the rubber glove at the crime scene... it doesn't match either wife.

BRENNAN: [quietly] Oh, so it's back to square one.

BOOTH: [to the wives] Are you sure I can't get anyone a soda?

[cut to- Brennan walking out of Booth's office. Rebecca is walking toward her.

REBECCA: Hey. Dr. Brennan, right?

BRENNAN: Rebecca, hi.

REBECCA: Is he in there?

BRENNAN: He is, but, it's not a good time. Not that my powers of discernment have ever been particularly sharp...vis-a-vis good times from bad, but in this instance, it's bad.

REBECCA: And I thought Seeley was exaggerating about you.

BRENNAN: With regard to...?

REBECCA: Just tell him to give me a call.

[Brennan nods, and Rebecca walks away.]

BRENNAN: Hey.

[Rebecca stops]

BRENNAN: Can I ask you something? [walks to Rebecca] Why did you say no?

REBECCA: Excuse me?

BRENNAN: When he asked you to marry him? I mean, he seems an ideal candidate. Strong, alpha male, good protective instincts.

REBECCA: And I should discuss this with you why?

BRENNAN: It's just- I'm not sure he knows. And... I think it bothers him.

[Rebecca struggles for words. She moves off to the side, Brennan follows]

REBECCA: I've always taken care of myself. To a fault, sometimes. And we got pregnant, Seeley proposed. But I didn't want to be one of those women who gets married out of need. So I said no.

BRENNAN: I can see that.

REBECCA: By the time that I realized I'd made a mistake... that I'd still be the same person- I think there's a moment for two people. A single moment where they can either catch fire or- Seeley and I, we missed our moment. Do you understand?

BRENNAN: I'm trying. But the "single moment" thesis doesn't explain-

REBECCA: Why we still get together. Fall together, really. Because, I think that we just feel what used to be there. And we miss it.

BRENNAN: I think Booth thinks you didn't marry him because he wouldn't make a good father.

REBECCA: What?

BRENNAN: He worries about it himself. What he does for a living. His past as a sniper.

REBECCA: Oh god. [she pauses] Uh, do me a favor? Don't tell him that I came by, okay? Please.

[Brennan nods. Rebecca leaves.]

[cut to- Medico Legal Lab - Platform]

[the tub is almost empty]

HODGINS: Man, what I would've given to have been a fly on the wall when you told those wives.

BRENNAN: You would've been swatted, trust me.

BOOTH: No match on the prints from our nationwide database either.

BRENNAN: At least we can assume our killer was a first-time offender.

BOOTH: Great. Thanks, Bones. That narrows it down.

HODGINS: So I hear you're back with your ex.

[Booth glares at Brennan]

BRENNAN: Don't look at me.

HODGINS: [oblivious] Your son must be thrilled. I mean I know I may thumb my nose at the hypocrisy of marriage as a sacred institution, but I think a boy truly benefits-

BOOTH: I am not back with my ex.

HODGINS: Let me finish. A boy truly benefits from knowing where his parents stand, together or not. Like I once had this dancer down in Miami whose stage name was Abbey Road. Anyway, she had a kid too, right?

BOOTH: That'll do, Ringo.

[Zack walks in holding a bag and a file]

ZACK: I think I scored, Dr. Brennan.

BOOTH: Somebody just kill me right now.

ZACK: [holding up an evidence bag] Dr. Saroyan sent me back to the crime scene. [handing the bag to Brennan] That's a junction box with a single brown hair embedded.

BRENNAN: This is at floor level?

ZACK: Across from where the bathtub had been. [holding up case file] You'll find its contours match our trauma wound.

BRENNAN: Then let's see if this hair is a match for Larry. [begins walking out]

HODGINS: Before you go, are we sure these copper bits are from the tub?

ZACK: I assumed they'd come off the fixtures.

HODGIN: Yeah, but- but the drain, the faucet and the spigots...they're all pristine outside a scratch or two.

BOOTH: Wait. Let me see that. [picks up pieces] It's bird shot. Or it was. [looks around] It's compressed copper that's frangible so it breaks apart on impact.

ZACK: Could they kill a man?

HODGINS: I think our vice president disproved that possibility.

BOOTH: Look, any ammo at close range will do the job.

BRENNAN: But at the very least, a gunshot would've sent Larry flying, causing his head to hit this junction box.

HODGINS: Which given his condition-

BRENNAN: Would be fatal.

[cut to- Medico Legal Lab - Angela's computer]

[Hodgins, Cam, and Zack are all present]

ANGELA: Okay. What you thought were teeth marks, Dr. Saroyan, turned out to be Chinese characters engraved along the side.

HODGINS: What do they say?

ANGELA: They say: "What make foolish man think I speak Chinese?" [smirks at Hodgins]

HODGINS: I thought you were half Chinese?

ANGELA: And I think you're half Swedish. Let's hear some Swedish.

CAM: What is it, Angela, please?

ANGELA: [grinning] It's a chopstick. Only it's not the kind you eat with.

HODGINS: There's another kind?

ANGELA: Well, you wouldn't comb your hair with a fork, would you?

HODGINS: My hair?

ANGELA: All right, look. The one character that I was able to translate, [to Hodgins] off the internet, is the word "beauty," and I realized it's meant for hair.

CAM: Where you twist it in a bun and stick this through to hold it in place? [Angela nods] But if that's what this is, we can be pretty sure it wasn't Larry's.

[cut to- Booth's car]

BOOTH: [into phone] Thanks. [hangs up. To Brennan-] Roommate says he went to go meet some friends at the Beltway Burger.

BRENNAN: And you think it's this Chloe girl because-

BOOTH: Of the chopsticks, right? As soon as Cam said it, I knew it. Because when I went to go see Pete, she had chopsticks in the back of her hair. And how did Hodgins find out?

BRENNAN: I'm sorry?

BOOTH: "Yeah, I hear you're back with your ex."

BRENNAN: I don't know. I assume it was Cam. I was only trying to engage her in social intercourse.

BOOTH: Excuse me?

BRENNAN: Just trying to be normal. Congenial exchange with a coworker. And if that's what gossip is, I don't like it at all.

BOOTH: Yeah, you think you don't like it? I can't stand- There it is. Beltway Burger.

[horn honking, music playing. Booth pulls in. We see Chloe setting a tray of food down on a table. She is listening to headphones. She has chopsticks in her hair. Booth and Brennan walk up]

BOOTH: Hey Chloe. Meetin' some friends?

CHLOE: [yelling] Oh, hi! You're that FBI guy!

BOOTH: [pulls headphones out of her ears] Yes, I'm the FBI guy.

CHLOE: So you worship at the temple of Beltway Burger too, huh?

BOOTH: Yeah, on occasion.

CHLOE: Yeah, I may be 90% vegetarian but their burgers- can't get enough of 'em lately.

BRENNAN: How many weeks are you?

CHLOE: Excuse me?

BRENNAN: Pregnant. I could tell by your gait. Your ilia- they've already started shifting to widen the birth canal.

CHLOE: You can tell that?

BOOTH: So you are pregnant?

CHLOE: 14 weeks.

BRENNAN: Booth- [we see Mrs. Seaver and her daughter, and Mrs. Turner and her son approaching] Chloe's friends.

BOOTH: Chloe's friends. [to the women] Taking the kids out for a little late night snack, ladies?

BRENNAN: Don't tell me. Larry's the father. [Chloe sighs]

[cut to- FBI - Interrogation 1]

MRS. TURNER: There's a playground about halfway between Gayle and me...designed for kids with special needs. Rubber surfacing, high-back swings.

[Interrogation 2]

MRS. SEAVER: I took Ray there last week, and Lila was there with Jenny. The kids started playing. We started talking. And one topic led to another.

BRENNAN: And- small world.

MRS. SEAVER: Yeah, too small.

BOOTH: What about Chloe?

MRS. SEAVER: Well, after we got over the initial shock, like yesterday but real, we decided to follow Larry to work the next morning- straight to a motel, where Chloe was waiting.

[Interrogation 1]

MRS. TURNER: And if that wasn't enough to make our heads explode, we then had to find out about Chloe's...condition.

BRENNAN: At which point you knew it was time to confront Larry.

[Interrogation 3]

CHLOE: I had no idea that Larry was married.

BOOTH: Let alone twice.

BRENNAN: But since your prints match the one left in the rubber glove, we assume it wasn't long before you found out.

[Interrogation 2]

BOOTH: We checked your phone records, Gayle, and, uh- you didn't leave Larry any messages after Friday night.

BRENNAN: The night you, Lila, and Chloe told him you were going to see him together to get answers.

[Interrogation 1]

BOOTH: So you found Larry at his job. You shot him point-blank. And you dragged his sorry ass back to the bathtub.

BRENNAN: Where you doused him in sodium hypochlorite, calcium hypochlorite.

BOOTH: Or as you and I like to call 'em, bleach and Quickie Plumber.

BRENNAN: Which, as an eighth-grade teacher, you knew would do the trick.

BOOTH: Simple earth science.

MRS. TURNER: Look all that's true. But we didn't kill him.

BOOTH: Really, then who did?

MRS. TURNER: He killed himself.

[Interrogation 2]

MRS. SEAVER: He killed himself.

[Interrogation 3]

CHLOE: He killed himself.

BRENNAN: Larry was dead when you got there?

CHLOE: On the bathroom floor.

[Interrogation 2]

MRS. SEAVER: The gun was still in his mouth.

[Interrogation 1]

MRS. TURNER: The coward must've freaked at the thought of facing us together.

[Interrogation 2]

MRS. SEAVER: If we'd surprised him, maybe he'd still be alive.

BOOTH: Back up. You're saying that the gun was still in his mouth?

MRS. SEAVER: His finger was on the trigger. It was awful.

BOOTH: And where's the gun now?

MRS. SEAVER: I buried it in my backyard.

BRENNAN: That's a good place for it.

[cut to- FBI]

BRENNAN: Unbelievable.

BOOTH: Yeah, you got that right. You know what, they're lying.

BRENNAN: How do you know?

BOOTH: Oh, come on. They've been lying since day one. Between all of them, they should have a dozen Oscars by now.

BRENNAN: I know what those are.

BOOTH: I mean, come on. Suicide? Mm-mom. Bird shot, or not, okay, every self-inflicted I've seen, the guy shoots himself, and he drops the gun. Right? It's an automatic reaction. Bang, drop. There's no way the gun ends up in his mouth.

BRENNAN: Then we'd better go dig up that gun.

[Rebecca walks in]

REBECCA: Seeley.

BRENNAN: I'll get the ball rolling. [she exits]

REBECCA: Was that Dr. Brennan?

BOOTH: Uh-huh. Why are you here?

REBECCA: I needed to know if you were gonna coach Parker's T-ball team this year.

BOOTH: You know I always coach Parker's T-ball team.

REBECCA: I didn't wanna assume-

BOOTH: Okay, whoa. What is going on here, Rebecca? Okay? [he pulls her into an empty room] Because look. I thought we agreed here. We cannot end up groping each other in the FBI closet. We can't do that. We're done.

REBECCA: I know.

BOOTH: Really?

REBECCA: Seeley, all the excuses I gave you for not wanting to get married...my independence, your work-

BOOTH: I know.

REBECCA: No, you don't. You are a wonderful father. And Parker is a lucky kid. Such a lucky kid. And obviously, we still have feelings for each other. Do you still wanna marry me?

BOOTH: Rebecca- No. I don't.

REBECCA: I don't wanna marry you either. Here are the forms for T-ball. I'll miss you.

BOOTH: Yeah. And I'm gonna miss you too.

REBECCA: You know what I'm gonna miss the most?

BOOTH: Yeah. But let's not go there.

[Rebecca exits, Booth watches her go]

[cut to- Medico Legal Lab - Platform]

BRENNAN: Okay. DNA on the barrel confirms it was in Larry's mouth at some point.

BOOTH: [poking at an enormous shot gun] Yeah. Well, I still don't but it. You know, the kickback alone would've forced it out.

BRENNAN: Unless he was dead before the shot.

BOOTH: Well, yeah, that's true. But, uh- Wait, what?

BRENNAN: The inside of Larry's skull is pitted, which I had always attributed to the effects of the lye. But each tiny hole matches perfectly with the bird shot, right down to these specks of copper.

BOOTH: Are you saying that it was suicide?

BRENNAN: I would, except these holes are void of blood, which would suggest they were self inflicted after blood stopped pumping through Larry's head.

BOOTH: No, keep talking. I'll catch up.

BRENNAN: Well unlike this blunt force trauma- no shortage of blood here. Proving he was dead before he was shot.

BOOTH: So now we're talking about a faked homicide to cover up a faked suicide?

BRENNAN: A faked suicide meant to cover up an actual, original murder.

BOOTH: Now, just when you think things couldn't get any more twisted-

CAM: [entering] How's this for a curveball?

BOOTH:-in walks Cam.

CAM: After retrieving and reassembling every tooth from that tub...I now discover that I had one extra. [she hands an evidence bag to Brennan]

BRENNAN: Well, this is not a tooth. It's a crown.

CAM: Exactly. Any of your women happen to be missing one?

BOOTH: Not that I could see.

BRENNAN: [chuckling] Well, it wouldn't be theirs anyway. It's sized for a man.

CAM: I knew that.

BOOTH: A man's tooth and it's not Larry's.

BRENNAN: It's not a tooth. It's a crown, whereby a dentist files down an existing tooth-

BOOTH: I know what a crown is, Bones.

BRENNAN: Except Pete called it a root canal.

BOOTH: Pete.

[cut to- the construction site]

MAN: Yeah, right there.

[Booth and Brennan enter]

PETE: Well, look who's here. Returning to the scene of the crime.

BOOTH: Funny. I was gonna say that to you. [to workers] Okay boys, that's lunch. Let's go.

PETE: Why? No, no. I'm talking about that. Look at my wall there. [points to broken wires] Who's gonna pay for that.

BRENNAN: Let's find out. Smile for me, Pete. [she shines a LED light in his face]

PETE: Who! Back off! What's this about?

BRENNAN: Temporary crown, maxillary central incisor.

BOOTH: [taking out cuffs] Turn around, Pete.

PETE: Like I have any idea how Larry got in that tub?

BRENNAN: Actually, on that detail, we're quite sure you don't.

BOOTH: Making that look on your face when you saw it all the more priceless.

PETE: That's because I didn't know what happened-

BOOTH: Well, let me tell you what I know, Pete. Okay? I know Larry owed you 85 grand. So Friday night you come here to have a little talk to him about it. About the same time, he gets a phone call from his very unhappy wives.

PETE: Wives?

BOOTH: Yeah. Which puts Larry in a really bad place. So when you asked him, "Hey, you know, where's my money?" He pretty much blows you off.

BRENNAN: Like he has more important things to worry about.

BOOTH: Bad enough that Larry rips you off, but he disrespects you on top of it? That's not gonna happen in this lifetime.

BRENNAN: So it got physical. Larry knocked your crown loose. And you shoved him down here where he hit his head on the socket casing.

PETE: I-I-I swear he didn't land hard.

BRENNAN: With his O.I. condition, it didn't matter. Wouldn't take much.

PETE: It was an accident. I'm sorry.

BRENNAN: So sorry you had to cover it up?

BOOTH: Stick a cheap shotgun in his mouth, pull the trigger, and make manslaughter look like suicide.

PETE: The guy had ripped me off for enough. I couldn't let him ruin me too.

BRENNAN: And you can live with that?

PETE: A person can live with anything if they don't think too hard.

BOOTH: Let's try this again, Pete. Turn around.

PETE: [getting cuffed] How did he get in the tub? It's been driving me nuts.

BRENNAN: You know what? Try not to think about it.

BOOTH: Come on.

[cut to- Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office]

ANGELA: The irony is that I cannot think of a single woman who would want three husbands.

HODGINS: Good thing. A guy would never be stupid enough to let it happen.

ANGELA: Excuse me. These women were not stupid. [turning around- Hodgins is lounging in the now empty tub] And that is completely gross.

HODGINS: But comfy. [Angela smiles] Welcome back by the way.

ANGELA: What?

HODGINS: Well after two days of inappropriate comments, you're back to judging me for gross behavior.

ANGELA: When am I ever appropriate?

HODGINS: Good point. [she is leaning on the edge of the tub] Maybe it was just the judging me I missed. Ah, the woman I know and love- [Angela raises her eyebrows] in a purely nonromantic, happy-to-be-judged way.

ANGELA: Well- Anyway.

HODGINS: These women.

ANGELA: Right. Not stupid. And frankly, that they allowed themselves to be duped, is a sad statement on how lean the market is out there.

HODGINS: I resent that. I'm out there.

ANGELA: You certainly are.

HODGINS: Well how not stupid could these women have been to think that they could get away with faking a murder?

ANGELA: Or how compassionate were they to recognize that they were all in the same boat. So why let Larry take his insurance money with him?

HODGINS: Yeah. A lot of good it'll do 'em in jail.

[cut to- Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's office]

BRENNAN: So you never said how it ended up with Rebecca.

BOOTH: Well, yeah, it ended. The only time we'll ever spend together is with Parker.

BRENNAN: You sure that's what you want?

BOOTH: You know what, Bones? It might be all anthropology to you, but there are certain people that you just can't sleep with. I mean, you can pretend that it's just s*x. You can lie to yourself, and you can say that it's all good. But, um, there's just- There's too many strings and- and too much at stake, you know? Too much to lose.

BRENNAN: Yeah. I can see that.

BOOTH: [standing up] It's over, you know? I'd appreciate, you know, your support in that.

BRENNAN: I will. And if you should slip, I will...keep my mouth shut about it.

BOOTH: Thank you. But, I mean, it's not like I'm gonna-

BRENNAN: No, I mean with anybody. I'm sure Rebecca's not your only option for satisfying your biological urges. [they hold sexy eye contact]

ANGELA: [entering] Please tell me these women are not going to jail.

HODGINS: [behind her] After trying to bilk the insurance system, they'll get nothing less than a firing squad.

ANGELA: Not if they never filed a claim.

HODGINS: Because our friends here caught them.

BOOTH: Well you're both kinda right. Given their kids and the circumstances, the D.A. is gonna offer probation provided that all three women show remorse and attend mandatory counseling.

HODGINS: In exchange for movie rights I hope. [to Angela] You know they're gonna get calls.

ANGELA: I hope so. [Hodgins exits] Hey nice going by the way. Cam tells me your back with your ex.

BOOTH: Cam.

ANGELA: Mmm.

BOOTH: Cam in her office? [he exits]

ANGELA: [inhales] I said something wrong.

BRENNAN: Ooh, would it be gossip if I told you?

ANGELA: I hope so. [they both leave]

[cut to-hallway, the same hallway we saw in the teaser. It sounds like s*x]

[we see Booth, only Booth]

BOOTH: Wow. That was, uh- That was-

[pan to...]

CAM: Wicked?

BOOTH: Yeah. And a huge mistake.

CAM: Not if we don't do it again.

BOOTH: Deal.

CAM: Deal. Not after tonight, I mean.

BOOTH: Never again.

CAM: No.

[they kiss]

[THE END]