King Scoopa Koopa

King Scoopa Koopa

Submitted by Hip

(Mario, Luigi and Princess are at home sitting at the table. Princess puts a plate of sandwiches on the table.)

Mario: Oh, not rabbit food again!

Princess: It’s good for you, Mario!

Mario: Yeah, but how come everything I don’t like is good for me, and everything I do, isn’t?

Princess: Heh heh heh! You sound just like Yoshi!

Mario: Hmm, speaking of Yoshi, where is he? He never misses lunch!

Luigi: Neither do you, unless you’re in trouble.

(They hear a roar and run outside. They notice a sign and Mario reads it.)

Mario: (reading) Grand opening! Scoopa Koopa’s fast food! Free samples? (stops reading). Heh heh, free!

(A nearby Dinosaur wearing a fast food hat holds up a plate and points to some sandwiches. They walk up to him. Luigi takes a sandwich and eats it.)

Luigi: Hmm, egg! Teesh! Delish!

Mario: Egg? Yuck! But I think I know where we’ll find Yoshi!

(They look to the left and see cave people lined up at a fast food stand. A man pays the Dinosaur cashier and receives a bag which he leaves with. Yoshi is next. The cashier rolls his eyes at Koopa, who’s wearing a chef’s hat and an apron in the kitchen in the back, who gives him a hand signal. The cashier roars in Yoshi’s face.)

Yoshi: Oooga! Okay, I ready to order! Four coconut shakes, six orders papaya fries, eight egg Scoopa Koopas!

(The cashier roars to the kitchen. Some Chickadactyls hear him and lay eggs onto a conveyor belt that’s powered by another Dinosaur.)

Koopa: Eight egg Scoopa Koopas coming up! Cook ‘em good! No one likes runny eggs, dino brain!

(A Dinosaur breaks the shells and throws them into a pipe. He breathes fire on the eggs to cook them. At the end of the conveyor belt, another Dinosaur scoops them into buns with a spatula.)

Koopa: Hey, don’t forget the special Scoopa sauce! A little scoop will do you!

(The Dinosaur grabs some moldy vegetables and squeezes some juice out of them onto the Scoopas. Then he throws the used vegetables down the pipe.)

Koopa: Hurry up with those fries!

(Another Dinosaur picks up a potato and slices it with his claws. The slices fall into a fryer that gets heated by a Dino Torch. The Dinosaur attempts to eat a fry.)

Koopa: Hey, no eating up the profits, I’ll take it out of your pay!

(The Dinosaur puts it back.)

Koopa: Shake it up, time is money!

(Another Dinosaur grabs a coconut and slices it in half with his nail. He puts a straw and a lemon piece in both halves, making two coconut shakes.)

Koopa: Ha ha ha ha ha! What a deal! Not only will I make Egg Scoopa Koopa addicts out of these silly cave people, and make myself filthy rich at the same time (holds up a moneybag), ha ha! Just wait till they discover the side effects! Ha ha ha ha ha! Those bird brains will never know what hit ‘em! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Yoshi: Um, I forgot money.

(The cashier roars at him. Koopa walks up to him.)

Koopa: You little dino dweeb, what do you think this is, a charity operation? I’ll make special Scoopa sauce out of you!

(Mario walks up to them.)

Mario: Step off, you nasty green bully! What’s he owe?

Koopa: 18 smackeroos, flange face! Absolutely no credit to actors, writers, or plumbers!

Mario: 18 coins? I call that highway robbery!

Koopa: Well I call it inflation! (to himself) In more ways than one! Wait till the calories start piling up in his waste line, heh heh heh!

(Mario pays Koopa.)

Mario: I smell a rat here, Koopa.

Koopa: That’s not rat you smell, that’s my special Scoopa sauce! Ha ha ha ha!

(Koopa hands Mario Yoshi’s food and an extra Egg Scoopa Koopa.)

Koopa: Here, complements of the chef!

(Later, Mario, Luigi, Princess, and Yoshi are sitting at a table. Everyone but Princess is eating the food.)

Luigi: It’s a good thing you don’t like eggs, Mario, Means more for me! These Egg Scoopa Koopas are fabuloso!

Yoshi: Mmm, tastes good too!

Mario: You ought to try some, Princess! The shakes fries are great!

Princess: I wouldn’t put anything in my stomach that King Koopa had his dirty claws on!

Mario: Well, maybe he finally decided to earn an honest buck for a change, Princess!

(Later, they finish up all the food and are bloated.)

Mario: I think he’s got a gold mine here!

(Yoshi burps.)

Yoshi: Excuse me.

Luigi: My sentiments exactly, Yoshi! How about another round, brother-meo?

Mario: Let’s go! I have some coins left!

Princess: Why didn’t Koopa invent vitamins first and fast food second?

(Later at home, Mario is sleeping on top of all the wrappers and is bloated. Luigi and Yoshi are posing like chickens and clucking. Princess walks in.)

Princess: Oh, this is disgusting! You’ve been eating nothing but King Koopa’s junk food for days! Take a break!

Luigi: Bawk! Luigi hungry!

Yoshi: Yoshi hungry! Bawk bawk!

Princess: Stop squawking! You sound like birds! You’re going on a diet, all of you!

Mario: A diet? Aw Princess, anything but that! Help me up, would ya?

Princess: Forget it! I’m locking all of you in!

Mario: Oh no, we’ll starve!

Yoshi: Bawk bawk bawk! Oh, Yoshi hate diet!

(Princess leaves and shuts the door. Later, Mario bangs on the door.)

Mario: Princess, let me out! Luigi and Yoshi have flown the coup!

(Princess opens the door and walks in.)

Princess: They took our treasure chest too! But how did they do it? The door was locked the whole time!

(Mario points to the window.)

Mario: Just like I said, they flew the coup!

Princess: Right, they grew wings and flew away. Give me a break, Mario!

(Luigi and Yoshi, who now have wings and chicken-shaped bodies fly to the line at Scoopa Koopa’s with the chest. Everyone else in line is also chicken-shaped.)

Luigi: Boy, am I hungry!

Koopa: Patience, my little chickadees! Egg Scoopa Koopas for everyone! Cash in advance, of course! (to himself) Look at those dumb clucks hand over their life savings for a few brief moments of mouth-watering bliss!

(Luigi and Yoshi hand the cashier the chest and receive their food.)

Koopa: Hmm, but what am I gonna do when all my paying customers have turned into useless Chickadactyls? Koopa, you capitalistic fiend, ha ha, you’re a genius! I’ll open up a Flew the Koopas Fried Chickadactyl Stand! Fortune number two coming up! Like they say, you can’t be too rich, or too evil! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(Koopa imagines serving fried Chickadactyls to other Dinosaurs while he is talking. Luigi and Yoshi bring their food to a table and sit down.)

Luigi: Bawk bawk bawk! Boy, am I excited!

(Mario and Princess walk up to them and grab their bags.)

Mario: Give me that!

Princess: You traded our treasure chest full of coins for this? Shame on you!

(Luigi and Yoshi start clucking and fly.)

Luigi: You make Luigi mad!

Princess: Wings? They grew wings?

(Mario and Princess run off and drop the food.)

Mario: That does it! We’re shutting down Scoopa Koopa’s before the damage is permanent!

Koopa: You and who else, plumb dumb? My customers and employees might not agree with you! One more day and it will be too late! Your friends will go from the fried egg to the fryer! And the next stop is the frying pan! He wants to shut us down, friends! What are you gonna do about it?

(The Chickadactyl cave people and Dinosaur employees chase after them.)

Mario: We need a plan, quick!

Princess: Since we can’t fly, I suggest we run!

(The song Keep on Running starts.)

When darkness rains down from the sky And you don't know where to turn Just say the word And leave the night As we watch our prison burn Just follow me (keep running) Don't be afraid (keep on running) No matter what we say Just take my hand and hold on tight (keep running, keep on running) Together we'll finish the race Right now, it's do or die (keep running, keep on keep on running) When darkness rains down from the sky And you don't know where to turn Just say the word And leave the night As we watch our prison burn Just follow me (keep running) Don't be afraid (keep on running) No matter what we say Just take my hand and hold on tight (keep running, keep on running) Together we'll finish the race Right now, it's do or die (keep running, keep on keep on running) But don't look back Now is time to run (keep running, keep on keep on running) Right now, we're under a gun (keep running, keep on keep on running) But don't look back Now is time to run

(Mario and Princess hide behind a building. Mario runs over to some ? Blocks but he can’t reach them. Princess hits a ? Block and a Springboard pops out which she throws to Mario. Mario uses it to hit a block containing a Fire Flower to gain fire power. He shoots some Dinosaurs, but Princess tells him to not to hurt the cave people. A dinosaur taps his shoulder and he loses fire power. Princess grabs Mario by the arm. They run up a Triangular Block and up the side of a cliff. At the tops is a Star Road pad that takes them to Star Road. There they jump into a pipe and lose the cave people. The pipe leads to an underwater area with a Rip Van Fish. He chases them into another warp pipe which leads to a cave as the song ends.)

Mario: Whew, safe at last!

Princess: Lost at last is more like it! Where are we?

Mario: Ew, yuck! Do I detect a savory aroma of old gym socks?

Princess: It’s coming from over there.

(Princess points to a pile of garbage with a pipe above it dropping more garbage. They walk up to the garbage.)

Mario: Rotten fruit? Egg shells? It must be coming out of-

(A coconut shell falls out of the pipe and onto Mario’s head.)

Mario: Yuck!

(Mario wipes off the shell and juice.)

Princess: PU! It stinks like that horrible special Scoopa sauce of Koopa’s! This must be where Scoopa Koopa sends its garbage! That warp pipe must go right into the kitchen!

Mario: We can’t just bust in, they’ll French fry us! We’ll be sitting ducks!

Princess: Let’s bash blocks!

(They run up to some blocks.)

Mario: Heh heh, not if I beat you to the punch!

(Mario hits a block and some coins fly out.)

Princess: Try that one up there!

(Princess points to a clear block with a changing item inside.)

Mario: Gotta time it just right!

(Mario jumps and hits it and a Feather comes out which he uses to gain a cape.)

Mario: Ladies first?

Princess: Not on your life!

(Cut to the kitchen.)

Koopa: Let’s see some hustle! Move it!

(Mario flies out of the pipe.)

Mario: Health inspection!

Koopa: Whaa?

(Mario spin dashes some employees and knocks them out. )

Mario: You’re next, Koopa!

Koopa: Don’t egg me on, Mario!

(Koopa picks up a Dino Torch and it almost scorches Mario. Princess comes out of the pipe and throws some coconuts at Koopa.)

Princess: Nuts to you, Koopa!

Koopa: Yeowch! I think it’s time to take the money and run!

(Koopa takes off his apron and hat, grabs a sack of coins, and jumps into the pipe, followed by some employees. Princess picks up the Chickadactyls and puts them the pipe.)

Princess: I’m sending you where the pecking’s good! You can be free range Chickadactyls from now on!

(Princess and Mario walk to the front of the stand.)

Mario: This joint is hereby closed by order of the health inspector!

Luigi and Yoshi: What?

Mario: And just to make sure...

(Mario jumps into the air and spins around to the point where the stand collapses.)

Mario: Now go home and eat some vegetables! Dr. Mario’s orders!

(Later, the four of them have returned home. Luigi and Yoshi are back to normal. They are sitting at the table as Princess serves them some sandwiches that they eat.)

Yoshi: I really clucked like a chicken?

Princess: You and Luigi both, Yoshi!

Yoshi: Oh, I embarrassed!

Luigi: Well, that makes two of us, kiddo! Hey, pass the veggies please, Mario.

Mario: My pleasure!

(Mario picks up the plate of vegetables but they go flying.)

Mario: Oops, I just invented the tossed salad! Ha ha ha!

The End