The Cow with Four Eyes!

Flem: I hear they is buildin' a new indoor swimming pool.

Larry: They're just puttin' a wall over our heinies! They're really building a dungeon for bad kids with so many detentions! It's a conspiracy I say! The clever ruse! They're coming for us! Coming for us, I say!

Chicken, Flem, and Earl: A dungeon?

Chicken: Wow! What, a cool job! I bet I could drive dat thing!

Cow: Only if you have a Class Double A operator's permit, which is much harder to obtain than a light machinery permit, but necessary as you'll be operating the Dear John 2000 Planet Pounder.

Flem : Y'all notice since your sister got her new glasses, it's almost as if she's more smarter or somethin',

Kid 1: Can you help me with my homework?

Kid 2: Can you teach my frog to whistle?

Kid 3: Hey, Cow, can you show me how to make stupid armpit sounds?

Kid 1:  My friend Cow's a genius!

Kid 3 :  Must be those new glasses that make her so smart.

Flem : Man, wearin' glasses show me your sister's intelligence all of a sudden.

Earl: Yeah. At least there's one Einstein in the family, huh?

Chicken : You know what? I might be needing glasses, too.

Cow : You can't get glasses, unless the eye doctor says so. You need a prescription.

Chicken : Yeah? Then, I'll get a subscription.

Red Guy: Well, you've come to Seymour Butts, have you? You've come to the right place! Read 'em and weep.

Chicken : Uh, let's see. Um, A Hundred-Yard Dash Through the Bedroom by Willie Mays Jitter, illustrated by Betty Won't. Rusty Bed Springs by I. P. Freely. That is a pretty weird chart, doc. You let lil' kids read dat?

Red Guy :  Tell you what. Let's make it a little easier on you, feller. TRY THIS!

Chicken : Uh, four score and a hundred years ago, my dad bought me a fuzzy pickle from the Slurp-n-Burp! Hey, what do you think, doc?

Red Guy :  I think I need a new prescription. I'm gonna fit you with some glasses. this won't hurt! For very long. Better OR WORSE?!

Chicken : Worse! Worser! YEAH, WORSEST! That's a little better. '''HORIBBLE! AAAHH! '''Oh, there you go.

Red Guy :  Okay, four-eyes. You're all set! Our strongest prescription.

Chicken : Man, I think I'm already feelin' myself get smart! Thanks, Dr. Butts!

Cow : And that is why he put the word "whiz" on the can.

Earl : What's a spleen?!

Cow : Well, the spleen is a part of the body that-

Chicken : The spleen are an aggressive alien race from the Gamma Beta Cavity star system who plan to take over the earth!

Earl : Wow! Chicken's smart now!

Kid 4: Hey, Chicken, can you help me with my math?

Chicken Here you go, child.

Kid 4 :  Hey, thanks, Chicken!

Cow : (moos sadly)

Chicken : Of course, it is a wildly known fact that the first man on the moon was actually Poopy the Clown. Although Poopy was not the first clown in space in clown circles, he is most revered.

Cow : How come you are wearing glasses, too? You think they make you smarter?

Chicken : They is makin' me smarter, dummy! You are just jealous! Now, let me go or I will tell everyone you milked the bed!

Cow : (whimpers)

Chicken : So, anyways, the earth is flat as well as the other 37 planets, thus making our solar system like a giant corn collection.

Larry : Ah! That's it!

Chicken : What is it?

Larry : Chicken can use his real high intelligence to operate the big machine and destroy the dungeon before it's finished! it's up to you to save us, Chicken!

Chicken : Duh, I, well, uh-

Kid 1: Save us, Chicken!

Earl : Yeah, Chicken! You-uh...

Flem : Save us.

Earl : Yeah, save us.

All: Save us! Save us! Save us! Save us!

Cow : Stop, brother! You're going to get hurt!

Teacher: C'mon, Chicken! Save these kids from the evil school dungeon!

Chicken : All right! Dis dungeon is toast! Oops.

Flem : There goes the sandbox.

Earl : At least, he didn't hit the- basketball courts.

Cow : Oh, no! Chicken is heading for the Rancho Tumores Nuclear Power Plant next to our school! Moo!

Earl : Check it out! Supercow has glasses just like Cow does!

Supercow: ¡Supercow al rescate! ¡Te salvaré, hermano!

Chicken : Supercow?

Principal: I'm afraid I'll have to give you detention for this nuclear thing, Chicken. Not only did you level the school, but you blew up the indoor swimming pool we were building.

Chicken : Thanks loads, Larry! Hey, Cow, I appreciate you not tellin' Mom and Dad about that, uh, nuclear incident. What are you doin', Cow?

Cow : Oh, Mom bought me these new fashion contact lenses that go with my muzzle color. Now I'll be really popular.

Chicken : Yeah, I'm happy for ya, Cow. That does nothin' for my popularity. I know. I will get also pink shoes and run for class president! Or maybe braces! Yeah, or both! End!