Major Competition

(Opening shot: the city skyline in flames.)

Narrator: THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE IS ON FIRE!

(Cut to the girls in flight, en route to the blaze, then pull back as they take a deep breath and prepare to blow it out. Before they can do so, though, a huge gust of air sweeps in from behind them, extinguishing the flames and sending them tumbling o.c.)

 

Narrator: The fire is out, and Townsville is saved - thanks to...

(Cut to the girls, who are now quite disheveled and confused at this turn of events.)

 

Narrator: Uh...uh, no. (Pan quickly across the city.) Thanks to...

(Stop on an empty patch of sky.)

 

Narrator: No...wait! (Another quick pan.) Maybe over here! (Stop on the park, empty.) No... where did... (Another quick pan.) ...wait a second!

(Stop on more empty sky. A duck flaps into view.)

 

Narrator: Who did save Townsville? (Cut to ground level; a crowd looks up.)

Man 1: Wait! Look up in the sky!

Man 2: Is it a man?

Woman 1: A gentleman?

Man 3: A fellow?

George Jetson: (English accent) A lad, perhaps?

Talking Dog: No, it's...

(Cut to an extreme close-up of a muscular, white-clad leg, its foot in a blue boot, and turn up. A red cape trails behind the figure, which also wears blue tights; at its waist is a belt with a large buckle labeled "MM." A huge blue M is emblazoned across the broad chest. The right arm, with a blue glove on the hand, is equally impressive in its musculature. As the crowd watches in awe, the figure's shadow falls across them and descends to the ground. He lands with his back to the camera; cut to his feet and turn up slowly again. Now we see all of this individual: boots, tights, belt, cape, big M across chest, and his face. He has a prominent chin, a confident smile on his face, and blond hair swept forward in a pompadour. The crowd expresses its awe.)

 

Man 4: The Mysterious Maestro!

Man 1: Naw, it's the mailman.

Man 3: No, he's not. He's the Midnight Marauder!

Man 4: Nah, it's obviously the Muscle Master.

[Note: The man's appearance is the same as before, but his voice is different.]

(The onlookers begin to argue among themselves as to what "MM" stands for. After a few seconds, the girls land in front of him.)

 

Blossom: Excuse me, sir, but who exactly are you?

(The blond fellow raises one eyebrow at this query. When he speaks, his voice booms out - a cross between the old Superman cartoons and the Douglas Fairbanks/Errol Flynn sort of action movie hero. He is seen from various angles.)

 

Blond hero: I am the crusher of crime! The demolisher of disorder! And the eliminator of evil! I am...

(He raises his left hand, the first two fingers extended, and snaps a military salute.)

 

Blond hero: ...MAJOR MAN!

(He releases the salute and grins, revealing a mouthful of brilliant white teeth. The girls seem rather less than awestruck by the entire display.)

 

Blossom: Major Man? What kind of name is that?

Woman 2: (leaning into view) Wow! Now that's a superhero!

Man 2: (leaning into view) You said it!

(Another man pops up, camera in hand. The crowd turns its entire collective attention to this new arrival, completely forgetting that the girls are even present.)

 

Voice: All right!

(The sound of a gun being cocked is heard, and the girls quickly turn around. The source of the voice is a mugger, holding an old woman at gunpoint.)

 

Mugger: Uh...everybody freeze or the old lady gets it! (The crowd gasps in terror.)

Blond hero (Major Man): Halt, vile villain, or taste the bitter flavor of justice that Major Man will serve you!

Buttercup: Corny! (The crowd shushes her.)

Mugger: I'm sorry, Major Man. My doctor told me to cut down on justice. (snickering) But he did say I can have all the greens I want!

(On the end of this line, he reaches into the old woman's purse, coming up with a fistful of cash on the word "greens." He runs off, snickering, as the crowd gasps again. Major Man pushes them aside.)

 

Major Man: Stand back! (He takes off, straight up; the girls look after him.)

Blossom: Where's he going?

(From outer space, we see Earth - and Major Man flying straight out from it. He stops, then plunges back toward the atmosphere feet first. The mugger keeps running down the street, cash in hand, but is stopped when the superhero lands just in front of him; the shock wave throws him to the ground. This action is shown three times, zooming in each time, with the last repetition in slow motion. The crowd cheers wildly.)

 

Narrator: Wow! Now that's a hero! (The girls float away, slowly and sadly.) Sorry, girls. Looks like Townsville's got a new protector - Major Man!

(Dramatic music begins as the camera cuts to a train barreling along a bridge. Zoom in on the engineer, his expression changing from contentment to shock and terror. Pull back; the train careens down through a break in the tracks. Major Man lifts it back into view as a male chorus begins to sing.)

Male chorus: Major Man, a hero to everyone,

(He straightens the rails and welds them together with laser beams from his eyes.)

Fights his battles to the end, never giving up.

(He flies along, then stops short in surprise.)

Seeking justice, never far away,

(A man in a wheelchair skids on a banana peel; he tumbles down a flight of steps.)

Always there to help the weak, fending off the bad.

(Major Man catches him, gets a hug, and sets him back in his chair.)

Loved by all, he'll never let us down,

(The superhero salutes and takes off. The man also salutes, his eyes tearing up.)

We'll never lose the faith for Major Man.

(Various shots are seen of Major Man in action.)

Seeking truth, defeating lies,

Flying high through clear blue skies.

Finding ways to protect us all,

He's our man, standing strong and tall.

(He turns his head, catching sight of something. An old man is being threatened by a gang of thugs.)

Male chorus:  Major Man, a hero to everyone,

(He appears on the scene; the thugs are quickly dispatched.)

Fights his battles to the end, never giving up.

(The old man hugs him and is set safely on the ground.)

Loved by all, he'll never let us down,

(His reflection appears in the man's dark glasses as he takes off.)

We will never lose the faith...

(Pull back from Major Man to show him atop the Statue of Liberty. His figure is blue; the sky behind him is in red and white stripes.)

...for Major Man!

(Cut to the living room in the girls' house, with the hotline in the foreground. Bubbles sits next to it, looking dejectedly toward it; Buttercup is across the room on the couch, wearing a frustrated expression.)

 

Blossom: (floating into view) Boy. The hotline hasn't rung in ages.

(It immediately does so, and all three faces brighten in a flash. Blossom picks it up.)

 

Blossom: (eagerly) Hello, Mayor? What can we do for you? Blow out a fire? Save a helpless child?

(Cut to the Mayor in his office, receiver in hand.)

 

Mayor: Uh...no. (stammering) You see...

Blossom: Don't be scared, Mayor. We can handle it. Go ahead.

Mayor: (stammering) We've...just grown apart, you see, and... (very quickly) ...well, there's somebody else, I'm sorry, we can still be friends, goodbye.

(In the living room, Blossom looks in disbelief at the receiver. A click and dial tone are heard over the line.)

 

Buttercup: What? What is it? What happened?

Bubbles: Blossom?

(Back to the Mayor. His head is bowed in sadness, and his hand still rests on the hotline.)

 

Mayor: (crying) That was...so hard to do!

(Major Man's hand lands on his shoulder, and he raises his head. Pan to the superhero, looking down at him in encouragement, then cut back to him. He brightens.)

 

Mayor: (pushing hotline off desk) Anyway, time to move on and forget about the past. Gotta make room for...

(He reaches under the desk and comes up with a rotary phone that bears a statuette of Major Man as its receiver.)

 

Mayor: ...the future!

(He jumps up and hugs Major Man at hip level. Turn up to the hero's face, a sly grin at the corner of his mouth. Back to the girls, now stunned. Blossom still has her hand on the receiver, which is now hung up.)

 

Bubbles: I...I...I can't believe this is happening.

Professor: (from o.c., hoarsely) Girls! Hurry! Come quick!

Blossom: Professor's in trouble!

(They fly down the hall and stop at the couch, ready for anything.)

 

Bubbles: Professor?

Buttercup: Professor! (He pops up from behind the couch, wearing a Major Man mask.)

Professor: Hey! (They gasp sharply; he lifts the mask.) Hurry, girls! Major Man is on TV!

(His news does not elicit much enthusiasm from them, but they poke their heads up over his shoulders as he watches the broadcast. He is transfixed. On TV, the Mayor addresses a crowd, with Major Man on the stage next to him.)

 

Mayor: Thank you, Major Man. Thank you for saving Townsville. (Major Man salutes and grins.) Boy, what I wouldn't do to be able to fight the forces of evil like you! (saluting) Major Mayor, that's what I'd be called. (losing steam) Uh, but...I'd never be able to get to the crime scene as fast as you do.

Major Man: (chuckling) Of course not, Mayor. You'd have to know about it in advance, like I do.

Mayor: What?!

(The girls' eyes pop wide open; the Professor's expression does not change.)

 

Major Man: Um...I mean...that's right, Mayor, you wouldn't have a chance. Now how about that theme song, huh?

Mayor: Oh, yes! (It starts up.)

(The Professor stands up, obviously lost in his own superhero fantasy, having neglected even his own daughters.)

 

Professor: I'm strong like Major Man! Major Professor to the rescue!

(He starts to run back and forth, making whooshing noises as if flying. Blossom and Buttercup turn to each other; Bubbles watches him.)

 

Blossom: Did you hear that?

Buttercup: Yeah!

[Animation goof: Blossom's mouth, rather than Buttercup's, moves on this line.]

 

Blossom: You know, there's something major fishy about that Major Man.

Bubbles: (turning around) Hey! Did you guys know the Professor could fly?

(Silence. Buttercup shoots her a disgusted look.)

 

Blossom: (as all three fly o.c.) Come on, let's go! (The Professor keeps "flying" around.)

(Cut to Major Man in flight. The girls pull up behind him, keeping their distance. He stops, noticing a dog next to a fire hydrant at a street corner.)

 

Major Man: Hmmm.

(Blossom and Buttercup duck into a nearby cloud. Bubbles stays put, but is yanked inside a moment later. Major Man looks around, then flies down as the first two girls poke their heads out of the cloud to watch what happens. He ducks behind a building, well away from the dog, and pokes his head around to watch it. Nothing. Now he zips across the street and just around the corner from the hydrant. Still nothing. He steps up just next to the dog, waits for a long, silent moment, and then boots it into the street.)

(The animal suddenly finds several cars bearing down on it with horns blaring. It covers its eyes with its paws and hunches down, waiting to get flattened. A huge crash is heard, and the screen fills with smoke. Quick cut to Blossom and Buttercup, still watching from their cloud; they gasp in shock and fear. Back to the smoke-filled screen at the crash site. When the view clears, Major Man is holding two of the vehicles apart, the dog cowering between his spread legs.)

(Close-up of the dog as it opens its eyes and looks around in bewilderment, then turn up to Major Man's face. Pull back to show a jubilant crowd around him.)

 

Crowd: Hey, look! Major Man saved a puppy!

(They talk excitedly as he holds the dog up; it looks back at him with a very puzzled expression. Turn up to the girls' cloud. Blossom and Buttercup look quite disgusted with the situation.)

 

Buttercup: Did you see that? What a creep! Major Man's been setting up his own disasters the whole time!

Blossom: That's how he always knew to be there before the crime happened!

Buttercup: Let's beat the stuffing out of him!

Blossom: No. We have to expose him for the phony that he is. But how?

(She begins thinking; after a moment, something pops up between the two girls and roars. The color of its eyes gives it away as Bubbles' the rest of her is covered with bits of cloud. Her pigtails look like horns now. Blossom's face lights up.)

 

Blossom: That's it! Come on! (She and Buttercup fly o.c.)

(Bubbles looks after them for a moment and follows, the layer of cloud still adhering to her. Cut to a section of the skyline, with nothing of great importance going on. A large reptilian beast rears up, roars, and begins stomping buildings flat.)

 

Narrator: (bored) Oh, no. The city of Townsville is under attack.

(The monster spits a beam of energy down toward the street, blowing a hole in the pavement. A woman pushes a baby carriage into view near this. She is not particularly concerned.)

 

Woman 3: Nothing to worry about. Major Man will save us. (She moves o.c.)

(A building collapses and cracks open; a man pokes his head out of the wreckage. He too seems rather chipper.)

 

Man 5: That's right, leave it to Major Man.

(We see the creature wreaking havoc. Pull back to show the view as that through the window in the Mayor's office. He is at his desk, looking quite bored, with the Major Man hotline at his elbow. He picks up the receiver and talks into it.)

 

Mayor: Oh, hello, Major Man. Say, did you know that there's a giant monster destroying Townsville? (Cut to Major Man at his home, phone in hand.)

Major Man: Impossible! I didn't set up for any...

(He trails off into a yell of surprise as the monster's hand smashes through the window and seizes him. It holds him up in front of its face and roars.)

 

Major Man: (sobbing) Help! Help! (Cut to the crowd at ground level; he continues o.c.) Help me!

(The onlookers scream and run in all directions, panicked. Back to Major Man, now in the creature's jaws and trying desperately to keep them from closing on him. The Narrator cries out in fear.)

 

Narrator: Won't somebody please help this hero in distress? (Back to the crowd.)

Man 1: Look up in the sky!

Woman 2: It's some bugs!

Man 2: No! Flying lollipops!

Talking Dog: No! It's the Supersockem Girls!

Narrator: No, that's not right.

(Cut to an extreme close-up of each girl's body in turn as they fly in, then pull back to show the entire group. Bubbles no longer has the layer of cloud on her.)

 

Narrator: It's the Powderpuff - (They glare angrily toward the camera.) - I mean the Powerpuff Girls! (Back to ground level.)

Crowd: Who?

Narrator: You know... (The girls fly over their heads and approach the monster.) ...the Powerpuff Girls!

Crowd: Oh, yeah! Hooray!

(Close-up of Major Man, who is still not faring too well.)

 

Major Man: (sobbing) Help! Please, help me!

Blossom: (from o.c.) Why? (Pull back; the girls are watching.) You've been doing fine on your own.

Buttercup: Why don't you destroy the monster yourself?

Girls: Hmmm?

Major Man: (softly.) I-I can't. Well, you see... (He trails off.)

Bubbles: (moving closer, cupping hand to ear) We can't hear you!

Major Man: I set up all of those other disasters so I could go in, save everyone, and get all the fame and glory. Now please help!

(The crowd gasps in shock at this revelation.)

 

Blossom: You mean the giant fire?

Major Man: I started it. (The crowd gasps.)

Buttercup: The robber and the old lady?

Major Man: My cousin and grandmother. (The crowd gasps.)

Bubbles: The train wreck?

Major Man: Bent the tracks. (The crowd gasps.)

Blossom: And the kids who beat up the old man?

Major Man: Paid them. (The crowd boos.) Please, help me!

Blossom: Do you promise to leave the heroics up to the real heroes?

Major Man: Yes, yes! (The monster's jaws snap shut.)

Girls: Well... (He forces the mouth open again.)

Major Man: Oh, please! Oh, please!

Girls: Okay.

(They move in on the creature and pound it from all sides as it tries to swat them away without success. Blossom hits it in the nose, Buttercup knocks the wind out of it with a flying kick, and Bubbles decks it with an uppercut. Next Buttercup grabs it by the tail, swings it over her head, and lets fly; she pulls ahead of it, her sisters joining her, and all three do a U-turn to deliver a triple flying jab. The monster wobbles woozily for a bit before it collapses senseless to the pavement, the girls landing by its head. The mouth opens up, creaking like the hood of a rusty old car and revealing a very chastened Major Man.)

 

Buttercup: (pointing o.c.) Now get!

(He floats in the direction she has indicated. Close-up of the girls, looking after him with unbridled contempt.)

 

Mayor: (from o.c.) Powerpuff Girls... (Pull back; he and the crowd are next to them. Blossom and Bubbles' expressions have softened as they turn to look at them, but Buttercup's remains locked in anger, possibly still upset over Townsville abandoning them for Major Man.) ...we want to apologize. We didn't realize how special you are to us. We didn't know how good we had it. We're all very sorry. Will you give us another chance?

Girls: (Now Buttercup's expression softens as she and her sisters ponder their decision over.)Well...okay. (The crowd cheers.)

Mayor: Come on, everybody! (walking o.c.) Let's go reinstall the hotline!

Crowd: (following him) Yeah!

(When they clear out, we see the monster once again - they were standing in front of it.)

 

Blossom: Coast is clear, Fred. (It opens its eyes.) Sorry we had to rough you up so much.

Monster (Fred): (rather neurotic-sounding) That's okay. I was good, wasn't I? Wasn't I?

Blossom: You were perfect. No one suspected we set the whole thing up. Thanks.

Fred: Aw...anytime, girls. Oh, but next time, girls...not so rough?

(He and the girls laugh at this for a few moments.)

 

Bubbles: Oh, Fred. (She thumps him in the nose.)

Fred: Ow! (The girls laugh again and continue under the next line.)

Narrator: Oh, Powerpuff Girls. I knew he was a big fake all the time. Major Man! Why, I betcha he wasn't even a real major. Hmm! (He clears his throat.)

(The standard end shot comes up.)

 

Narrator: So once again the day is saved - thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!