The Insecta Trifecta

It's taking too long, Stockman. I grow severely impatient. Zir, normal mutagen izz unstable, and can warp your mind. With thizz new mutagen serum, I can control the outcome. But it will[buzzing.] take time [buzzing.] . Time is what I do not have. Every moment that passes, I lose more control of this city. My henchmen have grown useless. Heh, it is ironic that my most loyal servant is a lowly housefly. After everything, I must completely rely on you, Stockman. Thank you, Mazzter Shredder. I will not let you down. [buzzing.] [machinery buzzing.] I muzzt be diligent. These old designs will be most awezzome. [laughs.] Now izz the time for Zztockman-Fly to rise! For the glory of Zzhredder! [rousing hip-hop music.] Ha ha, yeah. Take this! And this! Oh, and how about three of these? Huh! Huh! And the winner is: Casey Jones! Cha-ching! Ah, old school games are stupid. I'm more into a modern, fully-immersive 3-D experience. I'll give you a fully-immersive P-D experience. "P" as in "Pizza," and "D" as in "Delicious. " - [grunts.] - Yeah, boy! What, this is all we get, Mikey? And you keep the rest? You're right, brah. I'm being greedy. Remind me to smack you later. Uh, Raph? [sighs.] You're not freaking out? Eh, after you've been to a planet full of bugs, nothing bothers you anymore. Even after Mona Lisa betrayed you, and you were almost eaten by a giant scorpion monster? Can we drop the Mona Lisa thing already? Seriously! Well it's awesome you got over your bug phobia, Raph. That's really hard to do. All right, ninjas, finish fueling up fast, 'cause we're heading out on patrol. Shredder's out there somewhere. Who knows what he's cooking up? Robots? Mutants? Maybe something even worse. [computers beeping.] Listen, you disgusting vagrant. You don't realize how valuable my time is. Let me go! I have a meeting with the shareholders at 9:00 a. m. sharp! If I miss that [laughing.] What you won't be mizzing is your appointment with mutazzion. You will zzoon become a half-beetle, half spider, zzuper mutant! [laughing.] Drop him! You'll be hearing from my lawy-ahh! [suspenseful music.] [roaring.] [bubbling.] [roars.] Huh? [dramatic music.] Finally, now I get to be the bozz. I can order you to be my friendzz. We will watch sci-fi moviezz. Eat candy, play Mazes and Mutants. And cause total chaos and dezztruction! But firzzt, we must replenish the Master'zz money vaults. And there'zz no better way than the old-fashioned way. [laughing.] If you need money zzteal it! [maniacal laughter.] So what's the plan, D? We each take a borough, looking for any signs of Shredder activity. Um, Brooklyn is huge, Donnie. Needle? Haystack? We should be able to turn up something as long as the whole team stays focused. [horn honking.] No way, dude! Crognard is like the greatest cartoon ever! Hello, are you serious? "Space Heroes"! Captain Ryan! I mean, come on! Didn't you see the episode where they fought the Cortexicons? I hate to break up this vastly important conversation, but any signs of the Foot? Nada, Bromeo. This is pointless. Shredder's out of commission. We don't know that! He could be out there right around the corner. - [alarm blaring.] - both: Huh? Um, I say we patrol in that direction. Yes! [alarm blaring.] Come out with your hands up. [growling.] Which ones? What the heck are they, Jim? Dirty, filthy hippies. Let's take 'em down for the good ol' U. S. of A. Stupid cops. [growling.] both: Huh? Ah ooh! Get the cazzh! [grumbling.] [groans.] I am your bozz! You lizzten to me! Or no candy. [screeching.] Yes, yes! They're lizztening. They like me. They really like me! Okay, so not Shredder, but got to say, these insect dudes look pretty cool. [buzzes.] But just 'cause you have a sweet thorax doesn't make you too cool to squash. Right, Raph? [whimpering.] Uh, hello? Earth to Raph? [whimpering.] Goongala! [grunting.] Whoa, look at this one, Raph. Those dripping mandibles are so cool and deadly-looking. Yeah. Mandibles. Great. Call me the Exterminator, 'cause I'm here to swat some bugs. [growling.] Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Bugs! Too many bugs! Ah! Dregg? It can't be! Ah! [gasps.] Mona Lisa? [panting.] Ah! No! Not you! Anybody but you! Ah! Snap out of it! Kind of need a little help, dude. [screaming.] Ah, totally not cool. [grunting.] Ah! Exzzellent. Thizz human ally izz part of our haul now. Bind him! With pleasure, Dexter. It's Baxter. Baxter. Baxter! [grunting.] [gasping.] [growling.] Ah, sick! It's like, seeping into my undies, brah! Ah! Ah! They have to be near here. Yeah, their T-phones pinged off a nearby cell tower not long before we lost contact. What up? Knowing Casey, they probably got into a pickup street hockey game in the Bronx. Get away, get away, get away, get away, get away! I hear a voice, but no way it's Raph. It's way too high and whiny [screaming.] [all gasp.] [thudding.] Raph? Oh, my gosh. Are you okay? No, get off of me! Get away! I don't want to be eaten. Ah! Ah! [whimpering.] I got this. You just have to be sweet, sensitive, and caring. Ow! Mikey! Why you You You snapped me out of it. Thanks, little bro. No problemo. That's my role in the group: to bring sanity. - [sighs.] - So where are they? They got away, didn't they? Define "They. " Stockman's got two new mutants. An ant that splits itself into copies, and a big buggy spider freak. They got away with millions of dollars and Casey because of me. Um, are you sure it wasn't part of your hallucination? I mean, why would bugs need money? Because they want to buy jetpacks. It's lame having to use your wings all the time, dude. - Trust me. - We have to get Casey back. Raph, show us where all this went down. Casey's goalie stick. Donnie, you have anything? Well, looks like we're not gonna be able to track him by GPS. There's another way to track them. A telepathic scan? Tracking mutants is way easier than tracking humans. I've been practicing with my Aeon crystal. Oh, yeah. I am a true artist. Really funny. Keep it classy, Scumbug. That's slander, you vile monkey. You really have bug-sized brains, don't you? This hideout is weak sauce. How about one right there? Get him! [laughing.] No, the filthy human is right. When the Turtles realize their pet monkey is missing Thizz is going to be the first place they look! We need a new hideout. Someplace fortified. Hard to reach. But first, we solve a bigger problem. One that izz destroying Shredder's empire. Karai! Well? No sign of the Shredder. He must no longer be in the city. Go! Keep looking. Take your search to New Jersey, upstate look everywhere. Now, leave me. [clacking footsteps.] What the [grunting.] Stockman? Karai. No ninjazz to help you? Of all the freaks Shredder would send to take me down, he sends his lowly bug. I am his indizzpensible ally! I can't wait to dispense with you. Yah! Ah! [screeching.] Ugh! Okay, that's just gross! Ah! Gah! [grunting.] - Firzzt we will end you - [grunts.] Then we'll get thozze stupid Turtles. Who you calling zztupid, zztupid? Ha! Ha! Oof. [tweeting birds.] [gasps.] [dramatic music.] You just can't seem to keep away from us mutants, can you? Just get me out! Back off, Antrax! Wow, see how fast I came up with that? Ah! Ah! Ooh! Whoa! Little help? We need some wings. These guys are too whoa! Ah! Mandibles! Ah! [roaring.] Ugh! Ah, ah Huh? Mona. [screaming.] I'm coming! Hold on, Mona Lisa! [screaming.] [romantic harp music.] Mm - [gasps.] Ew. - Ah. Ah! Ah! Was I I was gone again! What happened? The bugs not only got Karai, they got April and Leo too! Oh, no. I'm fine, Master Splinter. We need to find the others. Those buggy freaks have 'em. If you do not allow yourself to heal, you will be of no help to anyone. This wound runs deep. It's just a bug bite. I speak not of the wound here, but of the wound here. [sighs.] I thought I was past my bug phobia. But clearly I'm not, and the team's suffering because of it. It takes time, my son. Damage to the mind and spirit are no less grave than injuries to the body. But Sensei, I was on an entire planet of bugs. That should have cured me just by exposure, right? Not necessarily. It is clear that you are still shell-shocked. [clears throat.] Pardon the pun. What do I do to get un-shell-shocked? Find your center. Meditation will enlighten your path. No offense, Master, but I don't think daydreaming will help. Not daydreaming. Meditation. I will teach you a personal mantra to chant. It will focus you. [deep breath.] Kore wa nanimo imi shinai. Kore wa nanimo imi shinai. Repeat. Kore wa nanimo imi shinai. Yes. Continue. Kore wa nanimo imi shinai. Wow, dude! Is that a girdle? Looks comfy. It's not a girdle! It's something I started before we took off for space. With these air-launched grappling hooks, we can travel vertically up a building, or at any angle we want, like Stockman-Fly and his bugs! You know, in theory. Then let's put that theory into practice, yo! No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. [screaming.] [screaming.] Uh - Ah! - [breaking glass.] [screaming.] [sighs.] - Huh? - It worked! We rule! - Booyakabunga! - Whoohoo! This izz the perfect new lair. High up in the cloudzz, where an inzzect belongs. We'll fill the place with money and riches for Mazzter Shredder. [squealing.] He's right. We don't need anyone now, Baxter. That money belongs to us! No! It izz about loyalty! - Friendship! - Um, Tyler? Hello? What about us? Why, you[buzzing.] will make a wonderful organic food zzupply. - Food supply? - [gasps.] You're going to eat us? He's going to eat us? Boss! They're coming. Ah! The trap izz set! Ready your webzz. You just had to be Turflytle, didn't you? Are you ready, buzz buzz? Ninja harness away! - Ah! - Yeah! They'll never get pazzt us, my insect brotherzz. - Ah! - Wha? After them! [screeching.] - Guys! Yes! - All right! Picnic time's over, you pathetic drone. Ugh! [laughing.] What are those harness things? Why don't I have a harness thing? [laughing.] Ah! Ah! - What? A fellow bug? - Ah! It worked! I'm in your head, fool! [dramatic music.] Whoa! Huh? Ah ah Ah! No! Master Splinter said to focus. Kore wa nanimo imi shinai. Kore wa nanimo imi shinai. [screaming.] [triumphant music.] Finally! - You ready? - Today? You better believe it. [grunting.] [panting.] Ah! Get me out! I'm missing the fight! Yes! [whimpers.] I'm gonna tear you apart, reptile! Come get some. [dramatic music.] Buzz buzz! Thanks, Turflytle. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. That means, "No problemo, my brother. " Look out! You're in my house now, homiezz. [laughing.] Ah! Yeah! Nice! We did it! Great job, team. You got to be kidding me. These jokers are still kicking? Ah! Good-bye, my friendzz. No! Boss! Wait! Oh. What about us? Well, at least we got the money. And Stockman's bug-thugs. Abandoned, huh? Some friend he was to you guys. Master, thank you. Whatever that mantra was, it worked. You are quite welcome, my son. So, um, what did it mean, anyway? It is Japanese for, "This means nothing. " It it isn't some magical chant? No. The mantra meant nothing. Just as fear means nothing. Neither of them has any power, except the power you give them in your mind. Whoa. That's deep. I think I get it, Sensei. Good. Now, do not tell your brothers. I might use that trick on them one day. [laughing.] Mazzter Shredder, I have to report that my mission was a failure. Stockman Your mutagen drip Y-yes mazzter? It's working. It's finally working. [laughing.]