What Ifs & Where's Austin

Rise and shine, sleepyheads. Time for Dez's world-famous tour bus breakfast. - What time is it? - I just told you. Time for Dez's world-famous tour bus breakfast. Ah-ha! Dez! Every time you cook, it's a complete mess. Yesterday, you burnt the toast so bad, we had to evacuate the bus. Then you forgot to put a lid on the blender and splattered smoothies everywhere. I'm still pulling blueberries out of my hair. - Mm. - Ewe. Well, no messes today. Now, how do you want your omelets? Forget it, Dez. I'm just gonna go to the diner and get us some breakfast burritos. Nonsense. I have fresh eggs. - Whoa! - Dez! Dez! Dez, is that a real chicken?! Dez, where did you get the chicken from?! - Give me the chicken. - What are you doing? You're picking that up! - Oh! - He did say fresh. You should probably go to the diner. When the crowd wants more, I bring on the thunder. 'Cause you've got my back, and I'm not going under. You're my point, you're my guard. You're the perfect chord. And I see our names together on every billboard. We're headed for the top, we've got it on lock. We'll make 'em say "hey!" And we'll keep rockin'. Oh, there's no way I could make it without ya. Do it without ya, be here without ya. It's no fun when you're doing it solo. With you it's like, "whoa". Yeah, and I know. I own this dream. 'Cause I got you with me. There's no way I could make it without ya. Do it without ya, be here without ya. You know what, you guys? I'm a little worried about Austin. He should have been back already. Oh, that's him now. Hey, Austin, what's up? What?! He said there was an accident. Are you okay? Oh no, that's terrible! - All right, I'll break the news. - What news? Is he hurt? No, he tripped and dropped our breakfast burritos. Now he has to wait for them to make new ones. I'm starving. You scared me. I thought something bad happened to Austin. Me too! I don't know what I'd do without that blonde-haired little he-devil. My life would be a total disaster. He's my only friend. But we're your friends too. Thank you, Ally, but that doesn't help. All I'm saying is, I can't imagine what my life would be like if me and Austin had never met. I love Austin too, but I don't think my life would have been all that different. Well, I know he's completely changed my life. Before we met, I was just a shy songwriter with stage fright. And now look at me. You don't actually have to look at me. My point is, who knows what would have happened with all of us if things had turned out differently that first day we met? Excuse me. Excuse me! Do you not see the "please do not play the drums" sign? Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave now. Guess who got a job at Cupcake City. What happened to your old job? Oh, I got fired from the recycling center. You mean you got canned? - Get it? - Unfortunately, I do. So how's the songwriting coming? I just wrote a huge hit. All I have to do is get over my stage fright and sing it without throwing up on everyone. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Don't give up, Ally. I believe in you. You're gonna be a big star one day. Thanks, Trish. Look, it's that weird kid from school who's always filming everything. Hey, do you guys want to be my friends? - I don't have any. - What a surprise. My sister says it's because I'm weird, but I don't believe her. Ham? You don't know, know, know, my name, name, name. Gonna make, make Make you do a double take. It's good. But if you really want to make it great I need to speed it up? No, you should slow it down even more. Make it soulful. Here, I'll show you. Don't touch my book. Just read the lyrics. Okay, it should go like this. You don't know, know, know, know, know My name, name, name, name. I'm gonna make, make Make you do a double take. You're so talented, Ally. You're gonna nail that audition I got you tomorrow with Jimmy Starr. From Starr Records? You got me an audition? Wow! Wait, did you say tomorrow? I can't sing in front of him tomorrow. - I'll throw up on him. - Oh, you better not. Ally, this could be your big break. But I always freak out when I have to perform in front of people. You didn't freak out in front of me. - How long have you been there? - The whole time. Want to watch me break the world record for spinning a basketball? Whoa sh I We really need to get that guy a friend. Okay, this is how you play Banjo Badminton. Huh! Normally, I'd be mad at you, but I am too nervous about performing for Jimmy Starr. What's the worst that could happen? You yak all over Jimmy, don't get signed to Starr Records, give up on your dream and work at your dad's music store for the rest of your life? Ally Dawson. Trish has told me a lot about you. I'm excited to hear you perform. Well, I'm excited to hear me perform too. I mean, for you to hear me while you perform. I mean, I'll just go play now. - She's a little nervous. - Yeah, I can see that. Who are you? Oh, he's just some annoying customer. Thank you for shopping at Sonic Boom, now get out. Hit it, Ally. That's is a long intro. I I I'm sorry. I just need to warm up my voice. Let me do a quick vocal exercise. Do, re, mi Trish can I talk to you for a sec? La, ti, do. Uh, I can't go through with it. You two have wasted enough of my time. Do, re, mi I'm leaving now la, ti, do. Jimmy, wait. Ally may have stage fright, but you can still hire her as a songwriter. She's amazing. She's that good, huh? Oh yeah. She's that good. What are you doing? Xylo-grilling. Burger? Ally, you play. I'll sing. We'll show him how great you are. You don't know, know, know, know, know. My name, name, name, name. Gonna make, make, make, make. Make you do a double take Make you do a double take Wow. That song was incredible. You really liked it? I more than like it. I think I just found my newest star. Trish De La Rosa, I'm signing you to Starr Records. - Wait, Trish? - Really? I love jumping. Guess who's famous. I'm on the cover of "Guess Who's Famous" magazine. Ooh! Can I have your autograph too? You can just make it out to me. First name, Dez. Last name I don't have time for last names. I can't believe you're famous already. That was fast. Starr Records released my song "Double Take" on the Internet, and it got over 2,000,000 downloads. I'm an overnight Internet sensation. My first hit song! This is a dream come true! Yeah, because of me, millions of people are hearing your music. You're welcome. Uh, thank you? Look, Trish, I know when some people get famous, they start to think that they're better than everyone else. Don't worry, Ally. That's not gonna happen with me. I've always known I'm better than everyone else. So, Trish, did you talk to Jimmy about me directing your first video? Of course not. But I do have a job for you. How would you like to be the personal assistant to a huge star? You expect me to just give up my dream of being a Director to run around doing errands for you. You're right. I can't ask you to do that. Instead of being my assistant, how would you like to be my friend? Yes! I've always wanted one of those! What do friends do? They go pick up my dry cleaning. How fun! Woo! So, Ally, we need a new hit. But can you start writing without me? I got to go get my nails done. Oh, so I'm just supposed to close up Sonic Boom, drop everything, and write you a song because I've got nothing better to do? Perfect. Uh Totally set myself up for that one. Guess who's ready to write a song. I've been ready for the past three hours. That's the spirit. But first, check out all of this cool Trish merchandise. This is Trish's signature perfume, "De La Rosa". Rosa, rosa. Try some. Oh, oh. It got in my eye. It got in my eye. That's why we have Trish tissue paper. We call them "Trish-ues". Look, Trish, we really need to work on these songs. Oh, you're right. Dez, leave us alone for a few hours. Great! I can finally work on my movie idea. It's about a giant crab who terrorizes Yeah yeah yeah, no time for that. I need you to go to the store and buy this stuff for me. "Big-screen TV, leopard-print couch, diamond necklace". Man, having a friend is expensive. Okay, this song's called "finally me". It's about a girl who overcame her fears and can finally show the world who she truly is. I've never felt this before. I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid anymore. Been writing words on a page. Because I got so much to say. Now, I'm taking the stage. Whoa-oh. I'm finally me Aw I can tell you wrote that from the heart. But my fans don't want to hear that sweet heartfelt junk. They want to hear how awesome I am. Here, I've been working on some lyrics myself. We'll use these. I'm so much better than you. I'm a 10, you're a two. I'm a Queen, you're a fool I'm throne, you're a stool. You'll never be this cool. No, you wish you were me Wow. I know. They're good, right? Oh, this one's my favorite. "I'm a Queen, you're a fool". - Hey, Dez. - Hey, Ally. You look upset. I think we have the same problem. Yep. Trish. I was gonna say we're both having a bad hair day. But I guess the Trish thing, too. I just feel like ever since Trish became famous I don't know my best friend anymore. Wait, she said you were her best friend? She told me, I was her best friend. Clearly, she lied. - Oh, I feel terrible, Dez. - Well, of course you do. Trish lied to you. But it's not just the friendship. Working with Trish is taking the fun out of music. I hear you. I have to put my film making on hold because of her, I want to be a Director. Not some guy who runs every time Trish calls. Oh, wait. Hey, Trish, I'll be right there. Ah! Man, I was going for a world record. Well maybe instead of spinning a basketball you should watch where you're going. I feel like I know you. I feel like I've known you my whole life. Oh, I know. We met here the other day. That's right. You yelled at me for playing drums with corn dogs. Well, see ya. Oh! Uh, there you are! I've been waiting almost five whole minutes for you. I waited three hours for you yesterday. Yeah, but stars don't wait. Regular people like you do. Anyway, did you finish my new songs yet? No, listen, Trish Since I can't write meaningful songs for you and I'm clearly never gonna be a performer I've lost interest. So what are you saying? I'm quitting music Forever. How long have you been here? The whole time. Whoa. - What happened to the practice room? - I turned it into a chemistry lab. It's my new hobby since I gave up songwriting. Don't touch my science book. Why did you pick chemistry? Because, duh, it's totally fun. See, I pour this blue liquid into this beaker And wait for the magic to happen. What's the magic? In three hours, it turns A lighter blue. I'm getting chills. So you're really giving up your dream of making music to become a scientist? You gave up your dream of directing to be Trish's assistant. Oh, hey! I am her friend. Would an assistant run all her errands, make all of her meals, and assist her with everything? Yes, that's the dictionary definition of "assistant". Well Since when is the dictionary the authority on what words mean? I am so much better than you. I'm a 10, you're a two. I'm a 10, you're a two. I'm a Queen, you're a fool. I'm a throne, you're a stool. You'll never be this cool. No, I sing to you on this stage. No, I sing to you on this stage. I'm at the top of my game. I'm at the top of my game. I'm a star and you're lame. I am cash, you are change. You'll never have my fame. So You wish you were me. Got everything you need. Got no time for jealousy. Ah, ah. Yeah, you wish you were me. I don't care if you don't like my song. You're all just jealous of my awesome talent. This concert's over! Don't forget to buy Trish merchandise on the way out. I'm so sorry, Trish. You should be. That song was terrible. Don't blame me. Those were your lyrics. Yeah, because you quit on me. I thought you were my songwriter. And I thought you were my friend. I guess you were both wrong. Tangy. Sweet. Nasty. Hey, Dez. I just finished arranging your jelly beans to bring to your dressing room. I organized them just how you like them, fruitiest to tangiest. I'll do it again. Uh, don't bother. The concert's off. Guess who's not famous anymore. I'm on the cover of "Guess Who's Not Famous" magazine. Well, don't give up. You'll be on the cover of "Guess Who Just Made A Comeback" magazine in no time. Nah, I don't think I'm cut out for this. Ally's the real talent. So what are you going to do? Well, I kind of liked all the behind-the-scenes stuff Booking concerts and negotiating deals. Maybe I should become a manager. Then you just need to find someone to manage. Who? Pop stars don't just walk through the door every day. Excuse me. I lost everything, Dez My record deal, my fame Best friend. I don't have anybody. I'm all alone. You're not all alone. I'm still here for you. You're right. All this time, I thought you were just my assistant. But it turns out you were really A friend? I think we both know you're more than just a friend. Our lives would have been awful without Austin. - I'd have given up my dream. - I'd have never become a manager. I'd have done the most disgusting things because I was desperate for a friend. - I can't believe I - Kissed me? I know. I was going to say I can't believe I gave up directing. Come on, kissing me isn't the worst thing in the world. Yes, Dez. Yes, it is. I'm so happy to see you. - Never leave us. - I don't want to kiss Dez again! What went on in here? I was only gone an hour. I'll explain over a game of Banjo Badminton. Come on, friend. Okay, friend. Austin, wait. I'm just going outside. No, leave the burritos. I'm starving. You really think things would have turned out that way? We were just imagining the worst. We were friends before we met Austin. I'd like to think we'd still be friends without him. Me too, because kissing Dez wasn't the worst thing in the world. Losing my best friend was. Ha! I knew kissing me wasn't the worst thing in the world. And I bubble wrapped all corners on the bus so if you bump into anything, you won't get hurt. Ooh! Ah! And I put training wheels on your skateboard so you won't fall. And here, I made you an extra-safe breakfast so you can't choke. Thanks. I love oatmeal. Well, that's not oatmeal. It's bacon and eggs, I pre-chewed it for you. Guy's you think you're overdoing it a little? I mean, I know you're worried, but nothing's going to happen to me. I'm sure nothing will. Whoa! - I hope he's not hurt. - I'm sure Austin's fine. No, I was talking about Clucky. Clucky!