An All Dogs Christmas Carol

(laughter) (barks) Can't catch me, slowpoke. Scruffy, where are you going? We're gonna be late for story time. (laughs) - Scruffy, come back. - Whoa. Ha! I lost her. Whoopee! - You cheated! - Sore loser. - Are we late, Anabelle? - It was all her fault. Was not. Do you angels want to hear this story or not? Oh, yes, Anabelle. OK, OK, OK. This is a holiday story about three ghosts, two bad dogs, and an evil witch. - Ghosts? - (whimpering) Huh! So it is a dumb old fairy tale. No. No, no, no. It's all true. In fact, the witch was my evil cousin, Belladonna. You mean the Boogy-Dog? Yes. This is how my two best guardian angels tried to stop her from ruining Christmas. - Meet Charles Barkin and ltchy ltchiford. - Are they the ghosts? Well, I'll start at the beginning and let you figure it out. It was Christmas Eve, and San Francisco was preparing for a beautiful, silent night. (puppies) Wow! Cool! (* "Deck the Hall") (* "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing") (* "O, Tannenbaum") (barks) (* "Jingle Bells") - * Feasting - * And friendship from kibble from fall into winter with our hopes rising high - * The holly - * The candy (howls) (laughter and barking) - Wait a second. This snow isn't cold. - Yeah, it's tropical snow. - It's popcorn. - Tasty tropical snow. (chomps) - We want some. - Yeah, come on. We want real snow. I'm just a reindeer. I can't promise you real snow. Hey, over here. Psst. Charlie, I got the stuff. But I can promise you each a present. Hurray! Yippee! Presents, yay! Just remember to donate something for Timmy. Well, hello, Sasha. Hello yourself, tall, dark and Blitzen. For you, Cupid, I'm a Dasher. So, you got lots of loot for Timmy? Cha-ching. Yes, and it's really gonna help the little guy, Charlie. Look at him. Every day his leg gets worse, but he never complains. Man, I hope the little squirt gets that operation. He deserves it. Hey, Charlie, I only got four paws. - Charlie. Woof! - Hey, I know. Hey, how about we distract the little tykes with another song? Yeah, let's all sing now. - One more time. - One more time. Bah! Humbug! Oh, no. It's Carface and Killer. Grr! Don't stop on my account. I'm just here to collect a few debts. Hey, mister, that wasn't nice. Boohoo. Now beat it, gimpy. Well, I might get better, but you'll be ugly forever. (laughs) Not bad, kid. You got ***. But don't push your luck. Big dope. OK, Killer, who's first? Uh-huh. Mm-hm. Sasha. Ten bones. What? Ten? No. I only borrowed four. Interest, honey. I'm running a business, not a charity. Oh, come on, Carface, it's Christmas Eve - a time of giving. Hm? Hm? Then gimme the eight bones you owe me. It's not due yet, you tightwad, so I'm not payin' now. You'll pay now, Charlie. In fact, you all will. Oh, allow me, boss. (screaming) Oh, no... - Give. - Give. Give. Give, give, give, give. Ah, well, aren't you too generous? - Wow! - OK, start loadin' up the stuff, Killer. We're movin' out. I said, let's go. Killer. Killer! I used to have one of these in blue. Hey. Now hop to it, ya peabrain. Oh, and grab them toys, too. (cackles) Season's greetings... losers. Killer, move your tailbone! - What was that? - Boy! Food. - What have we here? - Hey! No! That's for Timmy's operation. He won't recover without it. Stop! Timmy needs that cash. So do I, sister. So do I. (evil laugh) (Sasha) Hey, everybody, wake up. Come on. We were robbed. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie, quick! Over here. Look! He stole Timmy's operation money. I just... Ooh! Let me at him. What kind of creep would do that? Charlie, why'd that guy take all our stuff? Hey, never fear, little ones. Santa's favourite reindeer and his No.1 elf will get your presents back. Every single one. (cheering) Thanks, Charlie. We'll get those goodies back before the mistletoe gets cold. It's gettin' late. I think it's time to get you home. Aw. I wanted to stay at the party. But it's Christmas Eve and you know Martha must be missing you. Yeah. You know, she's not so bad, for a human. Am I going too fast, Timmy? No, no. I'm OK. Look! There's Martha. (barks) Timmy. Come here, puppy. Come here, boy. Thanks, Sasha. Merry Christmas. Oh... Let's get you out of the cold and I'll bandage your leg again, OK? Hey, watch it, watch it. Watch what? I can't see a thing. Whoa! Easy, pal. Too much partyin', huh? (Carface) Four, and five, and six... 97, 98, 99, 100! Oh, boy, boss, you sure know how to... (muffled laughter) - Hi, there. I'm here to read the meter. - Nine o'clock on Christmas Eve? Yeah, holiday service. Just point us - I mean, me - to the meter, sir. Right up here, guys... Oh, sir. Left. Right, I mean right. Oh, careful. I just... Oh, be careful, be careful. OK, we're at the top of the stairs, so turn a right. (evil cackle) (screams) Nice try. And a Merry Humbug. Maybe we shoulda tried a wig. Are you sure this is a good idea, Charlie? I mean, a chimney? Hey, it works for Santa, right? - Quit shovin'. - I'm stuck on something. - You're kiddin'? - No, I really am. "And in a twinkling, I heard on the roof..." "The prancing and yowling of each little goof." - Charlie, stop hissing at me. - I'm not hissing. What? (screams) (Charlie) It could have been worse! (Charlie) Steal Timmy's money, huh? Drop me in the trash, huh? Shoot me up a chimney, huh? OK, that's it. Now we're gonna deck his halls. Ready. Yahoo! Four, three, two, one. Now. (crash) Told you we'd get in. OK, Carface, give back Timmy's... dough. You can't just waltz into our party and steal our stuff. Sure I can. I've got this, remember? - Hand it over, smart guy. - Uh-uh-uh. I'd love to, Charlie, but my boss just won't let me. Boss? You don't have a boss. Forgot me already, Chuckie? (evil cackle) - Belladonna! - That's my name. Don't wear it out. So, Chuckie, seems you stumbled onto my little plan. Don't talk to her, Charlie, she's evil and nasty and... and bad. At least I'm more fun than my goody-two-shoes cousin. Oh, look at me. Miss Perfect Anabelle. Head angel. Queen of the clouds. Watch me make it snow for the kiddies. (gruff laugh) - Gimme that. - So, what's this hotsy-totsy plan of yours? Killer, do the honours. At midnight, when every dog in town is tucked into bed, we're gonna blow a magic dog whistle. Well... and all those darling Fidos and Fidettes will get that zombie look. Give, give, give. (laughs) Give! And they'll drag their master's gift right out of the doggy doors and bring 'em here to me. If Chuckles here gets all the goodies, what do you get? Me? I get to ruin Christmas. (laughs) Except for one small point. This little toot couldn't wake a whole city. No, but this could. It's gigantically humongous. Youse gotta stop her, Carface. I'm beggin' ya. Santa's watching. "He knows if you've been sleeping, he knows if you're awake." (growls) Forget it, ltch. You can't reason with flunkies. You gotta go to the source. OK, Spikey, where's that big whistle? Ouch! Somewhere where you'll never find it, hotshot. We're not leaving till you tell us where it is. Hey, even Killer and me don't know. - Do we? - Yeah, we don't know anything. (cackling) Oh, you'll be leaving all right. Meet my fire imps. - Come on, ltch. Let's go! - Wait for me! Down here! Come on! Ow! - Left. - This way. Down here. Charlie, where do you suppose Belladonna hid that giant whistle? Aaah! Ooh, ooh, ooh. That's gonna be tender. That's gonna be tender till the Rose Parade. Maybe even till June. Big yuks, ltch. Really big yuks. Charlie, what do we do now? - Ya got me, ltch. - (Anabelle) You mustn't give up, Charles. Whatever you say, Anabelle. Anabelle? Oh, goody. We can use her help. I have an urgent angelic mission for you both. You must stop Belladonna's evil plot. This affects thousands of families, so failure is not an option. Anabelle, for once, you don't have to ask me twice. Yeah, Charlie. Nobody rips off kids while we're on duty. (growls) Now, I've left you something to help with your assignment. It will provide you with enough magic to devise a major plan. A miracle dog tag. Great! We'll find that big whistle in no time. Sorry, Charles. There's only so much I'm allowed to do. This tag won't locate the whistle. It will, however, help you find a way to foil Belladonna's plans. So think, boys, think. It's up to you to save Christmas. I don't know. Do you think we could turn Carface into a good guy? Good guy? Ha! Don't make me laugh. That mutt is a total Scrooge. Itchy, baby, that's brilliant! - It is? - Yeah. We're going to run a scam on old Carface. A Dickens of a scam. - Dickens? - You know, that English guy who wrote... A Christmas Carol. Right! Remember how those three ghosts came to visit Scrooge? (ghostly wails) No. I don't like ghosts. Nothin' doin', Charlie. Don't worry, ltchy. You won't see any ghosts. - You sure? - Cos you're gonna be one. Come on, ltchikins, my boy. Are you serious? You talkin' ghosts? Not for me, Charlie. No way. Mm-mm. Oh, tag, a little Christmas Carol magic, if you please. Whaddaya want? What are you doing in bed anyway? Our big heist is at midnight. I need my beauty rest so as I can look good. Now scram! Watch it. Television. Bah! Humbug! I hate these Christmas specials. (TV) Welcome to CCN. The Carface Caruthers Network. That... that's me. Good evening. I'm Jacob Charlie. Welcome to our holiday special "It's a Wonderful Carface". (splutters) Uh-uh. I don't think so. In this story, you will be visited by three ghosts. Each will arrive at the chiming of a bell. I'll ring your bell, buddy. (bell chimes) Ah, there's the first one. Time for ghost No. 1. So let's go back to a simpler time. That's where I was born. Hey. What gives? (gasps) (tries out ghostly sounds) Ltchy, what's goin' on? I am not ltchy. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. With short legs. Ow. Do I look like I was born yesterday? Huh? As a matter of fact, yes. Mom? That's my mom. Yeah, and that's you, only smaller. Mom, it's me - Carface. She can't hear you. This is the past. You know, like a flashback. Boy, this really brings back memories. I miss my brothers and sisters. I bet they don't miss you. Wasn't I precious? - Pushy is more like it. - Yeah, but Mom still loved me. That was our last Christmas together. I never spent another holiday with Mom. Wow, Mom. - I miss you. - Come, we have other places to see. But I wanna watch how cute I am. What the? Hey, what took ya? Hey, it's the Parker house. This was my first human family. And there's Bobby. And there I am. There I am. I got away with *** in this place. Yeah, right from the get-go I was a heck-raiser, boy. Just like now. Sharp, slick, fast-livin'. (chuckles) I dream about my puppyhood who took me in one day I still can hear him say cos you're my pal" that squirt was all right from 6am to midnight like tug of war with boxer shorts and Christmas was funnest of all plum pudding and cakes looked just like snowflakes? I had to make a pit stop fast no powder room under the tree (sigh of relief) it's like you lost your puppyhood we would have been OK twice as long as any puppy could cos you're my pal" But he didn't say it, did he? - Aw, man. - Nah, the kid blamed it all on me. So I stopped being a good little pup and turned into a hood. Yadda-yadda-yadda. Anyways, nowadays, talk about pals. who ever threw a game of blackjack kicked Chihuahuas' puny rumps ain't no way on earth I can lose I dream about my puppyhood I never hear him say cos you're my pal" (ltchy) Aw, poor little guy. (Carface) Tell me about it. (whimpers) From that day on I never trusted nobody again. And that nobody includes you! I'd forgot how much I hated Christmas. Thanks for reminding me, ya dumb ghost! Ya dumb ghost, ya dumb ghost, ya... Oh. Huh? Oh. Just a bad dream. I musta ate some bad moo goo or somethin'. (wind howls) (banging) Hey. Ah, let's go to sleep. Bah! Humbug! (yelling) Ltchy. So, how'd it go? Not good. Carface is madder than ever. I didn't know he had such a rough puppyhood. A lot of us did, but we didn't all go turnin' nasty. We're just gonna have to work a little harder. But, Charlie, there's only an hour and a half left till Christmas. I know that, ltch. That's why we've got to unleash part two of the miracle. Come ye storms and grow in strife, split the sky with lightning rife. Strike at midnight, like a knife, and bring to my creation life! Christmas is finished. Finished! (evil cackle) (bell chimes) Aah! Another ghost! (streetcar bell) Aw. Stupid dreams. Aaah! Huh? Argh! Maybe a little music will calm my nerves. (radio) Locally, a sudden low-pressure system has hit the bay area causing unexpected storm clouds. And at the tone, the time will be... Past your bedtime, Carface. - Carface? - (bell chimes) Another bell. No! No, not again! No more ghosts. No more ghosts, do you hear me? Nada! This isn't happening! Aaah! Did you call? Boss? Yoo-hoo! Must have gone out for more junk food. Aaah! What is this place? I don't like this. Anyone here? (gasps) Now, look, lady. I'd like to go home now. OK? Please? I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. Touch my robe. Nice. Is this a cotton blend? Follow me. We have scenes of holiday joy to visit. No. No, no, no. I hate Christmas. No, no, no, no. Oh, come on, ya big baby. Behold a familiar sight. Hey, this is my place. I don't celebrate no holiday joy. No, but someone else does. whatever rhymes with bells - (hums) - Killer? This baby will cut through bank safes like butter. And it's monogrammed, too. I hope the boss likes it. Ow! A blowtorch for me? I didn't know he cared. And after the rotten way I treat him, too... Why would he do that? It makes him feel good. See? Ha, ha! at Christmas time or out there bustin' heads I start seein' red and green is prancing round my heart it oughta be a crime I'm feeling awful icky or setting dolls on fire a big surprise with bugs from outer space what thrill is more sublime? more time to do my baking ain't it true? my card gets so confusing don't you? I'm spending every dime I've dipped in slime it's a fact that I'm He's not such a bad guy, is he? I mean, I've known the little weasel for years, but... who knew? - There's a lot you don't know. - And what's that supposed to mean? Huh? Not again. Aaah! Oh, brother. I've eaten out of dumpsters classier than this joint. Sister, what's the big draw here? It's Timmy. Cute kid. Looks kinda familiar, too. (barks) Hey, I remember this kid. You should. You robbed him. Aw, but it was only a few bucks. Meant for his operation. It's... it's more than just a bum leg? Oh, wake up. Unless the future is changed somehow, Timmy will not make it. Five to one says he makes it. You see? He's a scrapper, like me. Attaboy! (whimpers) (crash) Oh, Timmy! Are you OK? Oh. Oh, no! The plate. (mother) Martha, what's going on in there? Did I hear something break? Well, Timmy, you really did it this time. (whimpers) Martha, was is Timmy again? - Uh... - Uh-oh. Busted. Young lady, this puppy is your responsibility. Oh, not again! You watch. The kid'll blame the pup and he'll get tossed. Um... I thought I heard Santa, so I rushed over and it sort of broke. Hey, she took the rap for him. You mean you broke the plate? (whimpers) No, no, no, no, kid. Don't tell her that. Good boy. You did the right thing, and I'm proud of you. Aw, man. I thought he was a goner for sure. The lucky pup. Yes, lucky to have an understanding family. (barks) Boy, this kid's got it made in the shade. Not really. You see, these people are quite poor. You mean they may have to get rid of Timmy? They can't! He might get sicker. That's right. And without proper care, this will be his last Christmas. - Someone should look out for him. - Why? Cos nobody ever did that for me. Poor puppy. Poor pup. Aw, poor puppy. Poor me. Hey! I'm sick of you ghosts, you hear me? In an hour I'm gonna blow that whistle! And you can't stop me! Bah! Humbug! Oh, no! We're losing him. I'm not scared of you, you see? (Charlie) Don't worry, Sasha, the miracle tag has one more trick. Hey! Hey! I'm not scared at all. Huh? Hey, the comics. (laughs) "It was a dark and stormy night, and Carface was..." "Carface was up to no good." - Hey, what gives? - (bell-like clanging) Oh, no. Another bell? Oh, great. Argh! Oh, no! Not again! No more! Pleeeeease! Ow! Aaaah! Oh. Help! Are you the Ghost of Christmas Future? And you're gonna show me what will happen? (nervous laugh) (teeth chatter) Ah! Hey, I know this place. OK, here you go. Here's to Carface. No more crummy loans. And no more lost silverware. And no more him. May he never return. - Hear, hear! - Never return? Where'd I go? Tell me, please. It's showtime. into every one a pack o' cards and a pair o' dice You get it? Pair of dice. Paradise. - Huh? Ha, ha, ha, ha! - Huh? really bad, makes-me-mad state - * I think it's time - * High time and that's a fact the kind of dog you were born to be you could be a saint that obviously you ain't and soon you're gonna fall with nothing left at all - * But you've got time - * Got time you've whacked every dog has his judgment day clean up your act when the show is through to spend with Wonder Who the script is in your paws - * It's your time to shine - * Be divine (* Mussorgsky's "Night on the Bare Mountain") Aaah! Going down? Yaaah! the things you do to clean up your act and that's a fact you'll be saved, you'll be free the kind of dog you were born to be Aaah! Timmy's place? Wait a sec. What happened to the little guy? Huh? (sighs) I... You had me spooked there. What's that you've got? Hey, hold on. It's tonight, isn't it? Belladonna's gonna blow that whistle. Timmy, don't you listen. Block your ears. No, kid. No, don't do it. You got a great home here. Don't ruin it. Don't ruin it. It's not him! It's that whistle! It's that whistle! Hey, snap out of it. Fight it, Timmy, fight it. (whistles) Stop! Oh, no, no, no! This is my fault, not his. Don't let this happen! Oh! How do I stop this? Tell me! Tell me! You know all the angles. You figure it out. Aaah! It's not midnight yet. There's still a chance to change things. And I will. I'm gonna stop Belladonna. Thank you, ghosts. Thanks for the wake-up call. Wake-up call. It's time to go! - Wow! - No, I can't. This plan is evil. I gotta stop the plan. Yeah, I gotta stop that plan. You're mumbling, boss. You need some more rest? No, it's not right. It's not. B-B-B-B... B-B-B... Almost midnight, boys. Let's mambo. (evil cackle) The miracle tag has worn off. I guess our jobs are done. So what do we do now? Now? Not now. Oh... We just sit back and trust Carface to do the right thing. Quick! We gotta find that whistle! Now! Now? Not now! Whatever. (Carface) Wait a minute! I got a better idea. (fire imps cackle) Just think. Here sits the worst threat to Christmas ever. And nobody suspects that it's right here on Alcatraz Island. Ha, ha, ha! Pull the tarp! Soon lightning will race down here to the steam generator. And the whistle will blow and every mutt in San Francisco will fall under my spell. Ha, ha, ha! Now get to work, slugs. It's almost midnight. Ha, ha, ha! Carface, get to the console. Yes, sir... uh, ma'am. Am I really gonna do this? What about Timmy? Ready on the controls? (cackles) - Any luck? - I'm sorry, Charlie. We ran our paws off, but we couldn't find a trace of that whistle anywhere. - Yeah, me neither. - You tried, Charlie. We did everything heavenly possible. (whimpering) Don't worry. It'll be OK. (both gasp) One minute to Christmas! Suckers! (fire imps cackle) Pull the lever. It's working! Christmas is ruined. Youse gotta stop her, Carface! I'm beggin' ya. You know all the angles. You figure it out. Without proper care, this will be his last Christmas. No, no, no. I won't let it happen. Put it back! (evil cackle) I've gotta do somethin'. Get off. Let go. I've gotta stop this. I've gotta save Timmy. Give him another chance for that operation. (fire imps chatter) Ah. This is for Timmy! You got zapped and not me! You got zapped and not me! You got zapped and not me! ...zapped and not me. Ow! What happened? - It was all... - Yes-ssss? ...my fault. For once, he took the rap. - Wow. - I don't care who takes the rap. You're both going to get it. Nobody double-crosses Belladonna and lives. Halt! You will not harm these two. Anabelle, get out of my line of fire. Try it and I'll clip your wings. That bug belongs to me. No, cousin. People belong to themselves. So they can choose between good or evil. And it's my duty to protect that. (growls) (laughs) You, protect him from me? With what? A smile and a sunbeam? Your ways are big and fiery, so I will stop you with something small and cool. (growls) (squealing and chattering) Snowflakes? Ha! Snow can't stop me! (evil cackle) Dang. Nobody messes with heaven. Thanks, Anabelle. Pish. Think nothing of it. You did all the work, Mr Caruthers. Oh, yeah. Great work, big guy. I feel a group hug coming on. Or not. Somewhere deep inside you is a sliver of good, Mr Caruthers. Try to let it out more often. Oh, boss. We're headed for home. Oh, and good work. (sniffs) (cheerful yap) Snow, snow. Hey. Hey, Mr Reindeer, look. You made it snow after all. Thanks. Whoa. Charlie, what does this mean? It means our plan worked. We convinced Carface to save Christmas. Actually, Charlie, the final decision belonged to Carface. Yes, and he chose correctly. See? I told you all along we could trust him. Well, congratulations on your most important mission. This will be a story to repeat for years to come. I just feel so bad for those pups because we don't have any p-r-e-s... um, gifts left. - You know? - Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! It's easy for him to be jolly. He's not pulling this darned thing. Ow! Here you go, kids. Here you are. (cheering) Really noble, Carface, bringin' back the gifts you stole. Hey, you kiddin'? I added lots of new stuff, too. No foolin'? Hey, nice goin'. Ain't I a little Dickens? Hey, I want you to meet my new pal. Timmy! Look, Charlie, Uncle Carface filled it up full. Uncle? I never thought I'd hear myself bark these words, but... you did the right thing for once. Don't expect it to last long. I've still got a business to run, you know. - At least you were sweet for a day. - Aw, this calls for a song. - OK, now, go... now? - Now! La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la... Now? from fall into winter... Why don't you stick around for the party, big boy? I'd love to, but I'm gonna go visit my mom. It's been a long time. - Mush! - Yeow! Ow! Easy on the pelt. Merry Christmas. God bless! Yep. God bless us, every one. (* "Joy to the World") And all I can add to that is Merry Christmas. And that goes double for us. Visiontext Subtitles: Marisa Castle de Joncaire ENHOH
 * When we hear a Christmas carol
 * We know that it's Christmas at last
 * Every time we hear a Christmas carol
 * We know that it's Christmas at last
 * Snowflakes on shiny round noses
 * An icy lake under your claws
 * The little ones tucked in their basket
 * Dreaming sweetly of Santa Paws
 * And laughter
 * The joy that this season brings
 * Every time I hear a Christmas carol
 * I think of these lovely things
 * Every time I hear a Christmas carol
 * I think of these lovely things
 * Let's make the place look like Toyland
 * With tinsel and winking white lights
 * We'll make our own garlands
 * Warm up cider for frosty nights
 * The mistletoe's gotta go somewhere
 * So I can get cosy with you
 * Every time I hear a Christmas carol
 * There's nothing I'd rather do
 * Every time I hear a Christmas carol
 * There's nothing I'd rather do
 * We've gone from spring into summer,
 * And soon this December will end
 * We'll tell the old year goodbye
 * As the star on the tree, brightly shining
 * When we hear a Christmas carol
 * Our spirits begin to sing
 * Every time we hear a Christmas carol
 * Our spirits begin to sing
 * The music might play on till midnight
 * We're hoping our neighbours won't mind
 * Tonight we are one happy family
 * With goodwill toward all caninekind
 * The presents
 * Always start my heart beating fast
 * But it's when I hear a Christmas carol
 * I know that it's Christmas at last
 * But it's when we hear a Christmas carol
 * We know that it's Christmas at last
 * When we hear the Christmas carol
 * We know that it's Christmas at last
 * And we...
 * Now I'm dashin' through the snow
 * With a big sack full of dough
 * When the lights go out,
 * And this pint-sized mug
 * Oh, sure, I broke a rule or two
 * The same as any puppy would
 * But in these crazy dreams
 * "You didn't mean to do it, Carface"
 * "I guess ya kinda blew it, Carface"
 * "But I'm gonna see ya through it all,
 * I gotta admit
 * Yeah, we was tight,
 * We used to trash the joint
 * Play tag and all them indoor sports
 * Had what you'd call a regular ball
 * Boxes of steaks,
 * Hey, who knew teddy bears' insides
 * But then too many hours had passed,
 * I couldn't see, unfortunately,
 * When you're double-crossed,
 * If he'd copped a plea
 * I swear I musta held it
 * And when that dame yelled "Scram!"
 * I hoped the kid would say
 * "You didn't mean to do it, Carface"
 * "I guess you kinda blew it, Carface"
 * "But I'm gonna see ya through it all,
 * He was a sweetie pie who turned into a...
 * Puppy hood
 * I got me a pack
 * The meanest mutts
 * We hit the dumpsters then the dumps,
 * At night I snooze wherever I choose,
 * But when the lights go out,
 * And in these crazy dreams
 * "You didn't mean to do it, Carface"
 * "I guess you kinda blew it, Carface"
 * "But I'm gonna see ya through it all,
 * Jingle bells, jingle bells,
 * I always get emotional
 * That heavenly time of year
 * Whether I'm home with friends
 * I'm blinking back a sad or happy tear
 * Round February
 * Brass knuckles tied up in bows
 * It's like a herd of tiny reindeer
 * And I become the me that nobody knows
 * I laugh, I cry, I totally lose my cool
 * Oh me, oh my, I'm a Yuletide fool
 * This eggnog is so creamy
 * I always get emotional at Christmas time
 * Tell old Saint Nicky
 * About the really naughty stuff I did
 * I'm so ashamed
 * After a beatin', I'll find myself repeatin'
 * "Say hi to the wife and kid. Don't forget"
 * I always get emotional at Christmas time
 * I'm doing so much good cheer
 * Whether I'm poisoning punch
 * I try to fill the world with grief and fear
 * What fun to send each family
 * As gruesome as it can be
 * I might infest the boughs of holly
 * Or slide the local toy store into the sea
 * I laugh, I cry, I totally lose my cool
 * Oh me, oh my, I'm a Yuletide fool
 * To give the gift of chaos,
 * I always get emotional at Christmas time
 * This year I'm taking
 * You're always short on pumpkin,
 * Carefully choosing
 * I like the cats with Santa hats,
 * I laugh, I cry, I totally lose my cool
 * Oh me, oh my, I'm a Yuletide fool
 * When fruitcake goes on sale
 * It's time to pass out candy canes
 * So call me sentimental,
 * A fool for trees with flocking
 * En route to steal your stocking
 * I always get emotional at Christmas time
 * I laugh, I cry
 * I totally lose my cool
 * Oh me, oh my, I'm a Yuletide fool
 * They look so doggone cosy
 * It oughta be a crime
 * I always get emotional at Christmas time
 * Look what you've done
 * You've been a very bad dog, my son
 * Packin' seven years of evil
 * Greed and vice,
 * Ain't gonna get you into paradise
 * You're in a sad, sad, so sad,
 * Old friend
 * Is this the end?
 * Wooooh
 * To clean up your act
 * If you don't, you're doomed
 * Take a look and you'll see
 * Clean up your act
 * You could be a leader,
 * You could be a million things
 * You're slippin' and you're slidin'
 * You'll be outta work and outta luck
 * To clean up your act
 * Make amends for all those mutts
 * Listen close to what I say,
 * Hey, hey, hey, hey,
 * When the music's over,
 * You'll still have eternity
 * You're writin' your own ticket,
 * Wait for that applause
 * I think it's time
 * High time
 * To clean up your act
 * Search for that integrity you've lacked
 * Change your ways, get a clue
 * They're mean and rotten,
 * Pee-yew, pee-yew
 * Clean up your act
 * Now it's time, high time,
 * If you don't, you're doomed
 * Have a heart, that's the key,
 * Take a look and you'll see
 * Oo-eee, oo-eee
 * Clean up your...
 * Clean up your act
 * When we hear a Christmas carol
 * We know that we...
 * When we hear a Christmas carol
 * We know that it's Christmas at last
 * When we hear a Christmas carol
 * We know that it's Christmas at last
 * Every time we hear a Christmas carol
 * We know that it's Christmas at last
 * We've gone from spring into summer,