Meat with a Side of Cute

Transcript for Meat with a Side of Cute
Narrator: Becky Botsford, otherwise known as WordGirl, must face her greatest enemy in the world of family games-- charades!

(Scene: The Botsford family’s living room. Mr. Botsford is making gestures.)

Becky: Um… uh, waving your arms  frantic ally! Um, um, I know this! Um…

(Bob stands up and points to the ceiling, then chatters something.)

Becky: The leaning tower of Pisa? There’s no way!

Mr. Botsford: He’s right!

Becky: Ugh!

Mr. Botsford: Well played, Bob.

Becky: (to Bob) It’s your turn, smarty! (Bob gives her a raspberry, then gets up for his turn. He puts his finger to his chin and starts to think.)

Mr. Botsford: Oh, oh, I know this! Rotten eggs! Rotten eggs!

(Bob chatters at him.)

Becky: Um, actually Dad, Bob says he hasn’t started yet.

Mr. Botsford: Oh! My bad.

(Becky hears a distant alarm with her super hearing.)

Becky: Uh-oh-- (whispers to Bob) --an alarm! (Grabs his arm and walks out the door) Um, Bob also said he need to walk around the city for a while to try to think of what he wants to do!

Mr. Botsford: Hm, Bob sure said a lot with just one squeak!

Becky: That’s monkey talk, Dad. Come on, Bob!

Mr. Botsford: Bye, guys! Well, might as well do a little practicing on my own. (Walks dramatically inside.)

(Scene: The shoe store. The alarm is going off.)

Narrator: Across town, we see the reason behind the latest alarm bell-- the master of meaty mayhem himself, the Butcher.

Butcher: I thought I told you not to sound the alarm.

Sales Clerk: I-- goofed.

Butcher: (sighs) Whatever. Just fill this sackel with money, please.

Sales Clerk: Fill the what?

Butcher: Sackel! You know… sackel? (Holds up the bag)

Sales Clerk: Oh… you mean sack. Sack is another word for bag.

Butcher: Yeah. Great. What’s another word for right now?!

Sales Clerk: Immediately?

Butcher: Oh, I didn’t know that! Thank you!

(The sales clerk removes cash from the register, and puts in in the bag.)

Sales Clerk: Say, you look like a size 12, sir. Am I correct?

Butcher: Yeah?

Sales Clerk: Well, we have the perfect shoes for you. Here, take a look. (Puts a box on the counter and opens it, revealing a stylish pair of white shoes with gold chains on them.)

Butcher: Those are very nice, but it’s not like I get invited to a lot of fancy parties. Then again, you never know. Alright, put ‘em in the bag..

(WordGirl and Huggy arrive on the scene.)

WordGirl: You’d better be fitted for jail shoes instead, Butcher!

Butcher: WordGirl!

WordGirl: Huggy, let’s take him down!

Butcher: Two against one, huh? Well, not anymore! ‘Cause now I got a fuzzy helper too! Meet-- the Meathook!

(Butcher is holding a small yellow kitten that is wearing a butcher’s hat, similar to the one he wears. He meows at them.)

WordGirl: Oh my gosh! He’s  adorable ! Where did you get him?

Butcher: Um, I found him hangin’ outside, uh, Butcher headquarters. He was lookin’ to join my gang. It was four in the morning, see. And he was outside, he was all like, meow, meow. That’s when I knew he was bad news. Bad news.

WordGirl: Can I pet him, please please please, can I pet him?

Butcher: No! I don’t ask to pet YOUR sidekick! Meathook, let ‘em have it with your venom claw!

(He sets the kitten down, and it purrs happily.)

WordGirl: Ah-haww, so  adorable !

Butcher: Uh-- uh, what, are you kiddin’? This thing is the meanest kitten in the whole world! Meathook! Tenderize them!

(The kitten looks around, continuing to be cute.)

WordGirl: Ah-haww. So cute!

Butcher: (to himself) This is embarrassing. (louder) Uh, uh, while he’s warmin’ up, uh, PASTRAMI ATTACK!

(He unleashes a barrage of pastrami onto WordGirl and Huggy, then the Butcher picks up the kitten.)

Butcher: Come on, Meathook. (to salesperson) Hey, thanks for the shoes.

Sales Clerk: You’re welcome.

(Scene: Later on at Butcher’s lair. The kitten is resting on a table.)

Butcher: Listen, ‘Hook. I know it was your first time out and all, but I have to say-- I was expecting a little more from you. Why didn’t you do to WordGirl what you did to the arms of my easy chair, huh? All you did was roll around and look cute! I don’t know if I can take you out on any more missions until you’re ready. Maybe you can answer the phone until then… I don’t know. (sighs) I mean, if I hadn’t blasted them when they were all distracted by you--

(He suddenly gets an idea.)

Butcher: Hold on a second… when you did that, WordGirl wasn’t paying any attention to me! She was powerless against you and your cuteness! THAT’S your power! Meathook, you’re a cuteness genius! And to think I was about to fire you! Meathook, it’s time to give you a new name-- something that lets everyone know that you mean business! Something like… Li’l Mittens! Oh yeah! This town’s about to get cutified!

Narrator: Meanwhile, back at the Botsford house…

(Scene: The Botsford house. Becky, Bob and Mr. Botsford are in the living room playing more charades. Her Dad is acting out the phrase to be guessed.)

Becky: (to Bob) I don’t know what to do, Bob! How do we defend ourselves against something so  adorable ?

(Bob reminds her that they are still playing charades)

Becky: (blurting out a guess) The  frantic  Declaration of Independence!

Mr. Botsford: It’s a movie!

Becky: Dad, you weren’t supposed to talk!

Mr. Botsford: Well, you aren’t even paying attention. Every guess is  frantic  this, or  frantic  that!

Becky: Uh, well, you look so  frantic . You know,  frantic … moving around quickly, wild with excitement? Like THIS! (She jumps up and moves  frantic ally around the room.)

Mr. Botsford: I look like that? Wow! I should act out something else before I hurt myself. What should I do? What should I do?

(Becky hears an alarm going off in the distance.)

Becky: Uh-oh. Uh, while you’re thinking about it, Dad, Bob wants to go for another walk. To-- get ready for his next turn!

Mr. Botsford: Ooh-hoo, that Bob! Always prepared. Have fun, you guys! Yaa!

(Scene: The bank. The Butcher is leaving with a bag of money, while the bank tellers are gathered around in a circle with happy looks on their faces.)

Male Bank Teller 1: Look at the kitten!

Male Bank Teller 2: It is so  adorable !

Female Bank Teller 1: Hey, does anyone have any string?

(The Butcher sticks his hand back through the door holding a piece of meat, and waves it to attract the kitten’s attention.)

Everyone: (disappointed that Li’l Mittens is leaving) Awww….

Female Bank Teller 1: Well, that was enough cuteness for today. Now back to work.

(She looks over at the bank vault, and sees the door is wide open and the vault is empty.)

Female Bank Teller 1: Say, don’t we usually keep money in our bank?

(Outside, the Butcher is holding Li’l Mittens.)

Butcher: Great job, Li’l Mittens! Now to escrape before WordGirl shows up!

(WordGirl and Huggy fly down in front of him.)

WordGirl: The word is escape, Butcher! And you’re too late!

Butcher: Am I, WordGirl? (Holds the kitten in front of them.) Li’l Mittens, feed ‘em a slice of cutie-pie!

WordGirl: Ahh-- I’m not looking, I’m not looking! Captain Huggy Face, get him!

(Unfortunately, Huggy is paralyzed by Li’l Mittens’ cuteness.)

Butcher: Ah-ha-ha! Nobody can resist the adorkable power of Li’l Mittens!

WordGirl: Adorkable? No, no, no, you mean  adorable ! It means really, really cute! Like what Li’l Mittens is doing right now… oh, it’s so  adorable ! Yes you are, yes you are!

Butcher: SALAMI SLAM! (He launches another meat attack on both of them, covering them in salami.)

Butcher: Ta-ta, WordGirl! C’mon, Mit. (Walks away)

Narrator: Back at the Butcher’s lair, Li’l Mittens’ reign of cuteness continues.

Butcher: You did it, Li’l Mittens! You took care of WordGirl and her sidekick practically all by yourself! Who’s a cute little criminal, huh? You are! Yes you are! (He snuggles his face against the kitten, who purrs at him.) Yes you are! You know, I’m sorry I doubted you, little guy! You had it in you all along. Now, let’s CELEBRATE!

(This is followed by a montage of scenes of Butcher and Li’l Mittens doing different activities. First, they are seen together at a baseball game, and when someone else catches a foul ball in front of them, the Butcher covers him with with meat and gives the ball to Li’l Mittens. Next, Butcher is seen riding on a scooter, with Li’l Mittens in the sidecar, both wearing scarves that flap in the wind. Then, Butcher is getting ready to eat a steak back at the lair, and gives Li’l Mittens a plate with a small cut of meat, but the kitten begs for more, and Butcher switches plates giving Li’l Mittens the large cut. He jumps onto the Butcher’s shoulder and licks his face.)

(Scene: The Botsford house. Becky and Bob are sitting on the sofa.)

Becky: I wasn’t going to look. But I was counting on you not looking either! It’s just so hard. It’s like I have this cuteness sense that just goes off as soon as he’s around.

(Mr. Botsford bursts through the front door, carrying a bag of groceries, panting heavily.)

Becky: Hi, Dad! You okay? You seem a little  frantic !

Mr. Botsford: Why sure, I’m  frantic ! I raced home from shopping so we could finish our game!

Becky: Oh, great. (sighs)

Mr. Botsford: Funny thing. On the way home, I saw the cutest little kitten sitting in front of the jewelry store. Almost tripped over the little guy.

Becky: A kitten? What did it look like?

Mr. Botsford: Well, was he ever  adorable ! He had one of those little paper hats that they wear in the butcher shop… (he carries the groceries into the kitchen)

Becky: (gasps, then whispers to Bob) Let’s go! (They both take off)

Mr. Botsford: Becky? Bob? Hello? (pause) I’m alone.

(Scene: outside the jewelry store. The Butcher is talking to Li’l Mittens.)

Butcher: Okay, now remember-- stick to the plan. No unnecessary chances, you got it? (Li’l Mittens meows softly, and Butcher sighs.) You are the cutest little thing. (He kisses him on the head)

(WordGirl and Huggy land behind them.)

WordGirl: Hold it right there, Butcher!

Butcher: Oh yeah? Li’l Mittens, stop, bop and roll! (sets him on the pavement)

WordGirl: (with her eyes closed) Oh, no! Not this time, Butcher! Come on, bring on the cute! (She quickly opens her eyes and assumes a fighting stance.) Heyy- (She looks down at Li’l Mttens, and quickly succumbs to the cuteness.) ---Ohhh!

(Huggy, keeping his eyes closes, chatters something.)

WordGirl: Right, stay focused! (closes her eyes again) You won’t get me so easily this time, Butcher!

Butcher: Fine by me. I’m itchin’ for an old-fashioned throwdown! (Li’l Mittens meows.) Oh, hold on, time out.

WordGirl: T-time out? For real?

Butcher: Yeah. (Puts Li’l Mittens into a car carrier, and closes the door.) There you go! Daddy’ll be right back. Okay? (He walks over to WordGirl.) What? This is no place for a little kitty!

WordGirl: Okay.

(Butcher and WordGirl face off against each other in the street.)

Butcher: Time in! PORK CHOP CHOP!

(WordGirl and Huggy avoid the attack. Then WordGirl tosses Huggy toward the Butcher.)

WordGirl: Monkey throw!

(Huggy misses, then the Butcher launches another meat attack on WordGirl.)

Butcher: SALAMI SLAM!

(As the fight continues, Li’l Mittens sees a butterfly go by the front of the carrier. He manages to open the front of the carrier, and starts chasing the butterfly unbeknownst to anyone. After a few minutes of fighting, the Butcher decides to check on his kitten.)

Butcher: Hold it, hold it, time out!

WordGirl: Time out?

Butcher: Yeah, time out! I gotta check on--

(The Butcher looks over at the empty cage and freezes, letting out a gasp.)

Butcher: NO! Li’l Mittens! Li’l Mittens, where’d you go?

WordGirl: Uh-oh!

Butcher: Li’l Mittens! (He is truly in a panic.) This-- isn’t-- happening!

WordGirl: It’s okay, go find him.

Butcher: I just want my Li’l Mittens back! He could be hurt! I have to find him!

WordGirl: Don’t get so  frantic .

Butcher: (jumping up and down) I’M NOT GETTING  FRANTIC !

WordGirl: Sounds  frantic  to me!

Butcher: Thanks! You’re a big help! You know what? Hamalanch!

Wordgirl: Hamalanch? (Hundreds of hams rain down on her and Huggy, trapping them.)

Butcher: Li’l Mittens!

(He runs off  frantic ally. From inside the hams, Huggy chatters at Wordgirl.)

WordGirl: You’re right, Huggy. We have to get out of here and find Li’l Mittens! Oh, and stop the Butcher.

Narrator: A little later, and still no sign of that  adorable  little kitten, Li’l Mittens.

Butcher: Li’l Mittens!

(WordGIrl and Huggy arrive behind him. Butcher looks around hopefully, with a tear in his eye.)

Butcher: Li’l Mittens! (realizes who it is) Oh. It’s you. What do you want?

WordGirl: We just saw you down here  frantic ally looking for Li’l Mittens. I thought we could help! Then we could finish battling, and I could take you to jail.

Butcher: I don’t need your help! In fact, it’s your fault that Li’l Mittens is gone!

WordGIrl: MY fault?! Maybe if you didn’t try to lead him into a life of crime, Li’l Mittens would still be around!

Butcher: Hey, he came to ME looking to join up, okay? He came to ME! If you’d just let us get away, he wouldn’t be lost right now! This is all your fault! YOUR FAULT!

(The Butcher creates a giant meatball that floats above them.)

WordGirl: Huggy! Duck for cover! (He gets under her cape.)

(Suddenly, a meow comes from nearby. A little girl is holding Li’l Mittens.)

Star-shirted girl: Is this your kitty cat?

Butcher: Li’l Mittens! Where have you been? Are ya hurt? Let me look at you!

(The Butcher lets go of the meatball, and WordGirl grabs it and carries it off.)

Butcher: Where did you find him?

Star-shirted girl: He was just on the street chasing a butterfly!

Butcher: Thank you so much! Thank you! (to Li’l Mittens, crying) You’re a naughty little kitty! Yes you are, you scared the ham out of me! Don’t you run away like that, okay? Oh, Li’l Mittens!

(WordGirl flies back down with Huggy.)

WordGirl: I hate to break up this reunion, but we do have to take you to jail!

Officer Jim: Alright, Butcher, come with us!

Butcher: Li’l Mittens! Li’l Mittens!

Star-shirted girl: Do you want me to take care of him while you’re gone?

Butcher: Really? You’d do that for me? Thank you!

(He hands Li’l Mittens back to her, as the police take him away.)

Butcher: You got references, right?

Narrator: And with the Butcher safely captured--

Butcher: (yelling from inside the squad car) Make sure he has enough water! Spring water!

Narrator: --and with the Butcher--

Butcher: Not tap! (Waves at Li’l Mittens, and he waves back.)

WordGirl and the Narrator: Aww!

Narrator: Aww, indeed. And so, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face have once again saved the day, this time from a  frantic  Butcher and an  adorable  kitty cat! Join us next time for another exciting installment of-- WordGirl!