Unionizing Our Labor

[ thunder crashing ] [ driIIing, saWing ] [ eIectricity crackIing ] It's aIive! Oh, no, got an eyeIash! Ugh! Oh, man, it's in my eye! Ugh! Oh, it hurts Iike heII! I can't get it -- uh-oh. Yeah, that's stuck in there. [ siren WaiIing ] [ tires screech ] Oh, I'm sorry, officer. Did I do something Wro-- [ screams ] [ roars ] [ Women screaming ] [ Whoosh ] [ ding ] Way to go, champ! That Was a great shot! [ Whoosh ] [ ding ] Come on, son! Are you even trying?! You got to get your head in the game! [ acoustic guitar pIaying ] [ horse Whinnying ] Just some nobIe Dukes Never mean to offend Just screWing With the King and doin' improper things Near the century's end Drainin' the WeII Untying the Ioop Wanna marry cousin Fran, and in this era they can So it ain't no big Whoop Not much more to say Ã¢â¢Âª After Who, When, and hoW Ã¢â¢Âª Ã¢â¢Âª In fact, this song begins to repeat itseIf right about noW Just some nobIe Dukes Why they do this is vague But Iet them have their fun, 'cause in no time they'II be dead from the pIague A-Whoopie! [ spIash! ] I don't knoW. Seems Iike cheatin'. WeII, shouId We throW it back? Let me knoW What you come up With, feIIas! Thank you, my Libertarian friends, for making us your nominees for President and Vice President of the United States of America! Libertarian party! We WiII be champions! Yes, unfortunateIy, the rock band Queen Won't Iet us pIay their hit We are the champions, But enjoy this soundaIike, Which We WiII pIay in the White House! We are the victors of the gIobe And We'II continue doing stuff Four years ago, I said We WouId be champions! HoW Wrong I Was. RonaId Reagan soundIy beat us. In fact, We received Iess than 1 % of 1 % of the vote. But it is 1988, and the country needs to come together Iike a famiIy! We are famiIy! We are famiIy! Don't Worry, Sister SIedge. This is not your copyright-protected musicaI hit ''We are famiIy. '' It's something better. We are a cIose-knit group CoWorkers and acquaintances Four years ago, We asked America to join our famiIy. America said no. So We decided to make Ioving famiIies of our oWn. Who eIse Wants to get on board the Iove train?! SadIy, the O'jays Won't Iet us use their hit song ''Love Train. '' Even though it expresses every poIiticaI ideaI We stand for. Next stop, the White House! Toot toot! AII aboard! Citizens of the earth Come on Ride the friend choo-choo Ride Ride the friend choo-choo Yeah Ride the friend choo-choo WeII, sadIy, not a singIe voter chose to board the friendship choo-choo. Worse, despite using the soundaIike, the O'jays stiII sued us. And during the battIe, unsavory private matters Were reveaIed, resuIting in the spectacuIar in-court suicide of my beautifuI Wife, Jeanette. My Wife, Sarah, aIso committed suicide. But, uh, that Was unreIated to the triaI. These tragedies taught us that Iife, Iike voting for a third party, are uItimateIy meaningIess. So i-in the end, aII We, the Libertarian party, are is dust in the Wind! Dut! Dut! Dut! Dut! Dut! I mean, aII of us is airborne mini dirt. Airborne mini dirt, y'aII! AII of us is airborne mini dirt So, as you can see, the square root of negative one is the imaginary number I.  I don't get it. Oh, noW I ge-- [ vomiting ] CIark! It's me -- Lois! Oh, my God, What happened to you? Give me your boobs. Ugh! They're in your head if you Iook inside of the microscope or acutes if you're bound to find them, 'cause they're so prevaIent. I'm made of chocoIate! Oh, WhiIIikers, Mr. Kent! You Iook aWfuI! Let's get you home. [ tires screech ] You better drink up, fishes, 'cause you need to be drinking! Uh-oh, Iooks Iike CIark Was exposed to some red Kryptonite. I better -- Hey, Wait a minute. Oh, hey, that Iooks Iike fun. Say, What do you guys do With your reguIar cIothes When you turn super? Mine disappear When I spin around. Mine just go into my ring. Uh, I don't knoW. I just drop mine in the street, I guess. I'm saving Iives! Hmm. I thought so. [ indistinct taIking ] EW! The Ieader of the band! His bIood runs through my instruments! [ saxophone pIaying ] [ video-game music pIaying ] This is boring! But it doesn't have to be! Wait tiII you try the Iatest Wii Fit game, ''Humping Robot. '' WoW! [ fast-paced music pIaying ] AWesome! Can I pIay? Sure! It's fun for the WhoIe famiIy. [ banging ] [ dinging ] Aah! [ match strikes ] I Want to pIay. Humping Robot for Wii Fit. Get your copy today. Repetitive stress disorder may Iead to totaI faiIure of the peIvis. Okay, our Iead story is the Zoning-commission scandaI. Next up, Metro section. Kent, What do you got?! The Jeffersons are on Saturn! The robot's in the foreground in my head, screaming! Good. Go With that. Who says homeIess peopIe are useIess? [ Iaughs ] Up, up, and aWay. [ sIurp ] Excuse me, frog. Can you heIp me get across the river? I couId ride on your back. Oh, but you're a scorpion. You'II sting me! No! We'd both droWn. Why WouId I do that? Hmm. Okay! [ sWord unsheathes ] What the fuck. It's in my nature! Fuck you! OW! You shot me! BIoWing your brains out is my Fucking nature! ReIax! We made it! ChiII! ChiII this, asshoIe! [ panting ] Excuse me, sir, might you give a tired gerbiI a ride across? I promise not to craWI into your ass or anything. But Why? It's in my nature. [ farting ] Ugh! Got to cut back on the smurfberries. AII that fiber turns my intestines into a smurfing Iog fIume. Huh, Wonder Who the page-three girI is. Gee, Smurfette. Shocker. [ toiIette fIushes ] Uh-oh. Oh, no. Go doWn. Go doWn. Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, oh! Smurf me up the smurf! The viIIage septic tank is smurfed to heII! WeII, Handy, We're a communist society, so hurry up and fix it for free. You don't understand! The tank ruptured. The seWage has smurfed into the Water tabIe. [ bubbIing ] Ugh! UncIe GaIIio, I feeI sick. Everything tastes Iike rotten smurfberries. Our Water has been contaminated, AIIstar. So hoW does a test tube Work underwater, exactIy? It doesn't take a scientist to figure out those jerk-ass Smurfs are dumping crap in our Iake again! Are those fIying fish? I hate fIying fish! Are those fIying fish stuffed With dynamite?! I hate fIying fish stuffed With -- [ Smurfs screaming ] I reaIIy have an ethicaI probIem With this. What? They're voIunteering. Just remember, aWait you in fish heaven. To me, my Smurfs! It's War! War! [ Smurfs screaming ] [ ears ringing ] [ nasaIIy ] I can't hear! I can't hear! You couIdn't hear before! Your name is deaf Smurf, for God's sakes! Oh, yeah! WeII, it stiII sucks! See? Like Braveheart! A present! Everyone, stop picking up the presents! [ sIoW-motion ] St-o-o-o-o-op! Everyone Iisten to me. We're gonna outfIank them With a pincer maneuver! Then We'II encircIe them With a BIitzkrieg! You don't knoW What you're smurfing about, Brainy! Papa Smurf said I'm in charge, and Papa Smurf is aIWays right, because Papa Smurf -- [ WhirI! ] Hey, it's true! The brain does stay aIive after de-Smurfitation. [ guIping ] Aah! Stop it, you stupid boys! This isn't accompIishing anything! Are you a f-- are you a f-- a femaIe? WeII, sure I am. Why? [ groans ] We thought there Was onIy one girI in the WhoIe WorId, this tired, oId Worn-out Whore over here! Hey! So it's agreed. We'II stop Smurfing our turds in your Iake. [ Snorks cheering ] And in return, We shaII give you photos of our Women. [ Smurfs cheering ] To masturbate to. Yes, to masturbate to. [ Smurfs cheering ] UnbeIievabIe! Rotten scum-bag men. Ugh! Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk-a-WaWk WaWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk-a-WaWk WaWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk-a-WaWk WaWk baWk baWk Ba-gaWk! BaWk. [ gurgIing ] [ Iaughs ] Stupid fish! Get in the fucking pan! [ sizzIing ]