Spider-Man: Far From Home



[A car drives up to a destroyed village in Ixtenco, Mexico. Maria Hill and Nick Fury get out]

Maria Hill: Nick, this was a tragedy, but it's not why we're here. What, are we fighting the weather now?

Nick Fury: Locals say the cyclone had a face.

Maria Hill: People say things when they're under stress. Okay, that does not mean that this is the start to another big world-

[A green cloud of smoke appears in front of them. Both pull out their guns, looking towards a strangely dressed man.]

Quentin Beck: Who are you?

[The Earth Elemental, that appeares to be made from rocks, comes from the ground in the village.]

Quentin Beck: You don't want any part of this. [he steps forward, green blasts shooting from his hands]

[marvel intro plays to 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston. A poorly edited video in tribute of the fallen Avengers, Tony Stark/Iron Man, Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, and Vision plays. It shifts to show Midtown School's news show with Betty Brant and Jason Ionello]

Betty Brant: Gone. But not forgotten.

Jason Ionello: Thanks to Kenneth Laymour and Fian Reymor for their help with that touching video tribute.

Betty Brant: This year has been nothing short of-

Jason Ionello: [a beep blocks out what he said] crazy. It's like insane.

Betty Brant: Jason.

Jason Ionello: What?

Betty Brant: No swearing.

Jason Ionello: Yeah, it's like the last day of school, we're good.

Betty Brant: Historic. Over five years ago, half of all life in the universe, including our own Midtown High was wiped from existence. But then eight months ago, a band of brave heroes brought us back. They called it the Blip. Those of us who blipped away came back the same age. But our classmates that didn't blip grew five years older.

Jason Ionello: Yeah, like my little brother is now older than me.

Betty Brant: (annoyed) Yeah, it's math. And even know we had blipped away half way through the school year and had already taken midterms, the school made us start the whole year over from the beginning.

Jason Ionello: Totally unfair. It's not right.

Betty Brant: Tigers, it's been a long, dramatic, somewhat confusing road. As we draw this year to a close, it's time to move on to a new phase of our lives.

Jason Ionello: Pray nothing crazy happens again because are the Avengers even a thing anymore? Does anyone even have a plan?!

[In a classroom, Peter Parker sits down next to Ned Leeds.]

Peter: I have a plan. (enthusiastic) Okay, first, I sit next to MJ on the flight.

Ned: Mhm.

Peter: Second, I’m gonna buy a dual headphone adapter and watch movies with her the whole time.

Ned: Okay.

Peter: Three, while we go to Venice, Venice is super famous for making stuff out of glass, right?

Ned: True.

Peter: So, I’m gonna buy her a Black Dahlia necklace, because her favorite flower is the Black Dahlia, because of, well...

Ned: The Murder.

Peter: The Murder. Four, when we go to Paris, I’m gonna take her to the top of the Eiffel Tower, give her the necklace...

Ned: Oh!

Peter: And then five, I’m gonna tell her how I feel...And then six, hopefully she tells me she feels the same way.

Ned: Oh! Don’t forget step seven.

Peter: (thinking)  Step seven...

Ned: Don’t do any of that.

[Peter looks up, confused.]

Peter: Why?

Ned: Because we’re gonna be bachelors in Europe, Peter!

Peter: Ned, look.

Ned: I may not know much, but I do know one thing: Europeans love Americans.

Peter: ...Really?

Ned: And more than half of them are women!

Peter: Okay, sure, but...I really like MJ, man. Okay? She’s awesome, she’s funny in a sort of dork way, and sometimes I catch her looking at me, and I feel stood up...Wait. Dude, she’s coming now. Just don’t say anything.

[Michelle Jones walks over to them.]

MJ: What’s up, dorks? Excited about the science trip?

Peter: Hey, uh, yeah. We’re just talking about the trip.

Ned: Yeah, and Peter’s plan.

MJ: You have a plan?

Peter: I don’t have a plan.

Ned: No, he’s just going to collect tiny spoons while we’re traveling to other countries. (winks at Peter)

MJ: Like a grandmother?

Peter: I’m not collecting tiny spoons. He’s collecting tiny spoons.

MJ: Oh. Okay, well, that was a real roller coaster.

Peter: Mhm...

Mj: By the way, travel tip: You should probably download a VPN on your phone, just so that the government can’t track you while we’re abroad.

Peter: Smart. Will do.

[MJ leaves.]

Ned: Dude, I think that went really great!

[Peter seems to disagree.]

[In the Homeless Support building, Spider-Man (in his Iron Spider suit) and his Aunt May are on stage.]

Aunt May: When I first blipped back to my apartment, the family living there was very confused. The wife thought that I was a mistress. (the audience laughs) The Grandma thought that I was a ghost. (more laughter) It was, (laughs) it was really a mess. Thank you all for coming oyt to support those who we’re misplaced by the Blip, and, of course, thank you Spider-Man!

[The audience erupts in applause for Spider-Man. Aunt May gestures Peter to the microphone.]

Peter: Thank you, Ms. Parker, for having me. And thank you you guys for having me. [Awkwardly gives the audience a thumbs-up.]

[The audience cheers once more.]

Aunt May: Thank you Spider-Man, he’ll be right back out to take photos and videos, thank you!

[Peter and Aunt May head backstage. Peter unmasks himself.]

Peter: That was amazing.

Aunt May: That was great. (high-fives Peter)

'''Peter. '''Ah, that was so cool. I was a little nervous!

Aunt May: My body was a little stiff, I felt like I wasn’t in the pocket.

Peter: No, I thought you did great!

Aunt May: Yeah, well, actually, I did think you were a little stiff.

Peter: (shrugs) I felt that, too, I felt that, too.

Aunt May: It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine. Did you get your passport?

Peter: Yeah.

Aunt May: Mini toothpaste?

Peter: Yeah.

Happy Hogan enters. He’s carrying a big check for the homeless.

Happy: Hey, sorry I’m late.

Peter: Happy, hey!

Happy: (to May) Oh, you look lovely.

Aunt May: Thanks, you too.

Happy: Thanks. New dress?

Aunt May: Uh, yeah. Yes, it is.

[Peter looks back in forth between the two, confused.]