The Great Batsby / Big Time Gold Rush.


 * scene in mansion during party*

Nick:  (narrating) "In my younger and vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice I've been turning over in my mind ever since. He told me, 'Nick, always be the narrator. Nothing bad ever happens to the narrator." (out loud) "Good advice."

Woman: *gasps* "There he is! The man who's hosting this party. They say he's a mysterious millionaire playboy with a dark secret."

Nick: "So, this is the great Gatsby I've heard so much about."

Woman: "Gatsby?! You mean the guy from the book? No one wants to see a movie about a book! No, that's Bruce Wayne! Ha! A book! Hey everybody, this guy was talking about books! Come over here and let's old-timey laugh at him."

* crowd laughs*

The Great Batsby

* scene change to courtyard*

Nick: (narrating) "Gotham in the twenties was a strange place, and Bruce Wayne was a strange man. You know what would also be strange? A full-grown horse hatching out of an egg. I bet seeing that would kind of mess you up. Anyway, I had an uneasy feeling about Bruce Wayne: that he was guarding secrets."

Bruce: "Quit talking to yourself and come on over, old sport! I have something I want to show you. Look over there, old sport. You see that light, flashing on the other side of the bay? What does that represent to you?"

Nick: "The American dream?"

Bruce: "No, it means that somebody needs Batman! Come on!"

* grabs Nick and rushes to Batpole, passing Gatsby*

Gatsby: "Hey, where is everybody? I thought I was going to be in this sketch!"

* Nick and Bruce reach bottom of pole; Bruce is dressed as Batman and Nick is dressed as Robin*

Nick: "Wait, you're Batman? That's your secret?"

Batman: "I'll explain everything. Just get in the Batmobile."

* yellow Batmobile rises from floor*

Nick: "Wow, that is really... yellow."

Batman: "They had a black one, but it was five hundred dollars more."

Nick: "I thought you were rich."

Batman: "You don't get rich by spending money. Now get in."

* Nick and Batman drive out into city*

Batman: "I'll tell you the truth. I'm the son of some very wealthy people. They're all dead now, so I honor them by dressing up like a bat and punching clowns."

Nick: "That's pretty loco, man."

Batman: "I'm telling you all this, because... I need your help. To win the heart of Daisy Buchanan."

Nick: "Why me?"

Batman: "Well, for one, you're Daisy's cousin. And two, your narrating helps bridge the scenes."

* scene change to second party*

Nick: (narrating) "And so, I agreed to invite Daisy to Bruce's next party, so he could impress her. Wow, that did work well. Anyway, Bruce was the subject of many whispered conversations..."

Gatsby: "Oh come on, you have to let me in this sketch! It's a Great Gatsby parody! I-I'm Gatsby!"

Sketch Stork: "Sorry, pal, you're not on the list."

Gatsby: "Ugh! You're killing me, Sketch Stork!"

Batman: (whispering) "I hear that Batman is very cool and mysterious!" *jumps* "I hear that yellow cars are in this year, and that Batman is the coolest!" *jumps* "Batman cool, Batman cool, cool Batman..." *jumps* "Cool Batman Batman cool."

* Nick and Daisy spot Batman*

Batman: (awkwardly) "Uh, hello! I'm Batman! Would you like to take a ride in my yellow car? It's cool."

Daisy: *gasps* "I've heard they're in this year!"

* Batman thumbs-up camera*

* scene change to outside house*

Daisy: "Can I drive?"

Batman: "Sure. I don't see why not."

Myrtle: "Hey, everybody, it's me, Myrtle! Am I late to the sketch?"

* Daisy rams into Myrtle*

Batman: "Uh... hey! Gatsby! Come over here!"

Gatsby: "Finally!"

Batman: "Hey, Wilson, this guy just ran over your wife."

Wilson: "Oh he did, did he?!"

* freezes Gatsby*

* Bruce walks away whistling*

Nick: (narrating) "And that's how Bruce's dream ended. But not mine. For as my father said, nothing bad ever happens to the narrator."

* Daisy rams into Nick*

Daisy: (driving away) "I can not drive..."