George's Relatively Bad Idea

Yeah, tammy and I broke up. 00:00:00	The wedding's off. 00:00:03	What happened? 00:00:03	Well, we had irreconcilable differences. 00:00:07	I wanted to communicate more, and she wanted to have sex with strangers while I was at work, .. 00:00:14	Wow, that's tough, man. 00:00:15	Maybe you ought to take a break from dating, forget about women for a while. 00:00:19	Yeah, you're probably right. 00:00:21	So, your sister's single, right? 00:00:24	Ernie, you're like a brother to me. 00:00:26	That's my sister. 00:00:26	It would be too weird. 00:00:28	I never considered you a brother. 00:00:30	Yeah, really, we just work together. 00:00:32	Yeah, excuse me. 00:00:33	I got business over here. 00:00:35	[ Cheers and applause ] I can't do that. 00:00:45	Milk the cow,vato. 00:00:48	Oh, what the heck. 00:00:51	Eat corn. eat corn. 00:00:51	[ Makes robotic beeps ] oh, no, no, no, no. 00:00:57	You're gonna die alone. 00:00:58	you just have to find a beat and move to it. 00:01:02	Good job. 00:01:05	Teachmehow to dance! 00:01:08	Okay, the main tng is you have to feel the rhythm. 00:01:11	Want me to show you? 00:01:13	Uh-huh. 00:01:18	You know, I'm more of a hands-on person. 00:01:20	I could do it a lot better if I had a partner. 00:01:23	Ah, come here, you. 00:01:27	You must surrender your pelvis to the music. 00:01:31	Ai! ai! ai! 00:01:34	You know, my pelvis is really uncomfortable with this. 00:01:37	Can we switch partners, please? 00:01:39	Uh, sure. 00:01:42	Want to relive senior prom? 00:01:49	[ Intro to war's "low rider" plays ] ♪ all my friends know the low rider ♪ 00:02:06	♪ 00:02:10	presents a fine fragrance breakthrough. 00:02:11	♪ ♪ 00:02:17	The world's first body wash with fragrance release pearls. 00:02:23	Touch your skin to release fragrance up to 12 hours. 00:02:28	New Caress Love Forever. 00:02:30	For an unforgettable fragrance up to 12 hours. 00:02:51	brookside, and discover an exciting combination of tastes. 00:02:54	Rich, dark chocolate covering soft centers. 00:02:57	Flavored with exotic fruit juices. 00:02:59	It's chocolate and fruit flavors like you've never experienced before. 00:03:03	Discover brookside. 00:03:06	infection can take days. 00:03:07	Relieving the itch... 00:03:08	can happen instantly. 00:03:09	Vagisil Max StrengthAnti-Itch Wipes relieve itch and odor instantly as they cleanse. 00:03:15	So why wait to feel comfortable? 00:03:16	Trust Vagisil. 00:03:18	The number one wipe for itch. 00:03:52	statue! 00:03:52	Just like a statue. 00:03:53	Look here! 00:03:55	When your day goes on and on, you need 48 hour odor protection that goes on clear for no white marks. 00:04:01	New Secret Outlast Clear Gel. 00:04:07	Denny's put the magic of Dreamworks into their new kids' menu? 00:04:08	That's a secret... 00:04:09	kind of. 00:04:12	Introducing Dreamworks to the New Denny's Kid's Menu. 00:04:14	Denny's. 00:04:16	Welcome to America's Diner. 00:04:17	Kids eat free on Tuesdays 4:00Pm-10:00pm. 00:04:36	forthe visionary. 00:04:37	The dreamer. 00:04:38	Feria Power Violet by L'Oréal. 00:04:39	Multi-faceted,shimmering hair color. 00:04:41	This Feria has an extrashot of pure dyes. 00:04:44	Live in color. 00:04:47	Live in Feria Power Violet byL'Oréal Paris Thanks! 00:05:06	The move's wrapped up and ournew house is insured! 00:05:07	Lucky we have that goodneighbor! 00:05:09	Go Riley! 00:05:11	With State Farm helping protectwhat matters... 00:05:12	...you can focus your emotionson the goals ahead. 00:05:14	Come on everyone! 00:05:16	Joy!!! 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Free up your emotions for what matters most, and let State Farm handle the rest. 00:05:31	See Disney Pixar's Inside Out in3D June 19th. 00:05:51	Kellogg's® FrostedMini-Wheats®... 00:05:52	8 layers of wheat... 00:05:53	and one that's sweet. 00:05:54	For the adult....and kid - in all of us. 00:05:55	(Supergrass' "Alright")(plays throughout) ♪♪♪ 00:06:00	Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats® Feed your inner Kidult... 00:06:09	Linda. 00:06:09	Hi. 00:06:10	Wow, what a nice surprise seeing you two days in a row. 00:06:14	You know, some people " some people " what's going on? 00:06:21	I'm helping carmen look through some college scholarships. 00:06:24	Dad, we found one where all I have to do is write an essay about the biggest obstacle I had to overcome in my life. 00:06:31	Can you help me? 00:06:31	I got it. 00:06:33	"Dear college, once I lost my cell phone, "so I went to a pay phone and called it, "and my purse started ringing. 00:06:38	"I thought, 'this is so weird. 00:06:40	"Someone's calling me ' so give me " [ Laughing ] Stop. 00:06:47	I'll help you with your essay this weekend. 00:06:51	So, um, you probably have big plans this weekend, huh? 00:06:56	No. not really. 00:06:57	I'm gonna go home, get some pizza, maybe watch tv. 00:07:00	.. 00:07:02	Make sure you get up and stretch every couple hours. 00:07:06	Or, you know, you could -- you could get a blood clot and die. it's thrombosis. 00:07:10	Yeah, you could wear control pantyhose, but that's really for varicose veins. 00:07:15	You know, I keep talking, and I don't mean to. 00:07:20	He stopped for a breath. 00:07:20	Run. 00:07:22	Okay, good night, ernie. 00:07:22	I'll see you guys game night. 00:07:29	I told you, man, you can't go out with my sister. 00:07:31	Hey, ifihad a sister, I'd letyougo out with her. 00:07:35	I wouldn't go out with your sister. 00:07:37	Oh, so my imaginary sister's ! 00:07:43	Look, I don't want .. 00:07:47	I just know she'd be nasty. 00:07:50	Yeah, probably. 00:07:55	George, daddy's gonna be staying with us while they tent his condo for termites. 00:07:59	You don't need exterminator vic. 00:08:01	Just get all the bugs together, tell them stories about cuba. 00:08:04	They'll kill themselves. 00:08:05	What's with the tux? 00:08:08	Thursday night is the cardiologist association dinner at the beverly hills hotel. 00:08:12	You're gonna have to go to jason's playoff game alone. 00:08:14	I should go with daddy to his cardiologist dinner. 00:08:18	That is sweet, but no. 00:08:20	It will be too hard for me seeing you in a roomful of men youshouldhave married. 00:08:28	I guess angie could have married a cardiologist, huh? 00:08:31	Got divorced, taken half his money, hooked up with some young stud. 00:08:34	Oh, that's whatyourwife did. 00:08:35	Did I hit a nerve? 00:08:42	Look, all the other doctors know my wife left me. 00:08:47	So if I go alone, I will be pitied. 00:08:50	I really need a date. 00:08:51	That shouldn't be hard. 00:08:52	You got a lot going for you. 00:08:55	You're a doctor. 00:08:55	You're rich. 00:08:57	Uh, you're a cardiologist. 00:09:00	You're wealthy. 00:09:03	You've been to medical school. 00:09:03	You got bucks. 00:09:06	That's six things right there off the top of my head. 00:09:10	George, I'm sure I would make quite an impression with your sister on my arm. 00:09:15	Do you think linda would accompany me? 00:09:18	No way! 00:09:19	She's part of the family. 00:09:19	I'm just getting to know her. 00:09:22	What is she gonna think? 00:09:23	"Welcome to the lopezes. 00:09:24	"Friday night we play board games. 00:09:26	Saturday night's " I'm not talking about dating her. 00:09:32	I'm just talking about her companionship foroneevening. 00:09:35	Forget that she's family. 00:09:36	She's way too young for you. 00:09:39	Are you kidding? 00:09:39	Half the doctors there have dumped the loyal women that put them through medical school and now are dating hot, hot hotties! 00:09:47	Okay, you're not going on a date with linda. 00:09:50	Forget about it. 00:09:50	End of discussion. 00:09:52	Would $1,000 reopen the discussion? 00:09:54	No, but you're my father-in-law, and I respect you, so if you have something to say, say it. 00:10:00	You owe me $1,000 for the loan to rebuild your garage. 00:10:03	Convince linda to be my escort for the evening, and I will forgive the loan. 00:10:09	What would I tell angie? 00:10:10	Nothing. 00:10:11	Okay, let me get this straight -- you're offering me $2,000 to set you up with my sister. 00:10:18	I said$1,000. 00:10:20	I'm selling you my sister, dude. 00:10:21	Don't lowball me. 00:10:28	[ Sighs ] it's so quiet with the kids out. 00:10:33	You know what we should do? 00:10:34	WATCH "SportsCenter" .. 00:10:37	[ Whistles ] the priest at our wedding was right. wehavebecome one. 00:10:44	[ Banging ] [ gasps ] why is my father kissing your sister? 00:10:57	Uh, did I tell you, angie? 00:10:58	I paid off the garage. 00:11:05	♪ 00:11:08	♪ 00:11:13	HP Instant Ink can save you up to 50% on ink delivered to your door, so print all you want and never run out. 00:11:22	Plans start at $2.99 a month. 00:11:22	Right now, buy an eligible printer and get three months of free ink with HP Instant Ink. 00:11:29	Available at participating retailers. 00:11:31	The most affordable way to print. 00:11:33	HP Instant Ink. 00:11:35	Once we were dreamers. 00:11:37	Adventurers set out to discover new lands. 00:11:40	New people. new ways. 00:11:43	Once we were great explorers. 00:11:46	In search of hidden treasure. 00:11:48	Secret hideouts. 00:11:50	Magic lands. 00:11:51	The treasure is still here. 00:11:53	And waiting to inspire a new generation of dreamers. 00:11:56	Come uover the riches and bounty of pure michigan. 00:12:01	YOUR TRIP BEGINS AT Michigan.org. 00:12:06	switched breakfast what do you eat? 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More doing. 00:26:24	Ugh. 00:26:26	So, who's coming tonight? 00:26:28	I invited everyone, angie, including linda and your dad. 00:26:32	George, no! 00:26:32	I know you're still mad at vic, but they both need to be here. 00:26:36	We have things we have to settle. 00:26:37	I can't pretend I'm okay with this and play board games while I watch my dad make eyes at someone just a couple years older than me. 00:26:44	You and I are the same age. 00:26:45	She's my younger sister. 00:26:50	My point is that you're beautiful. 00:27:07	Hey, I got to ask you, vic -- when did you fall headfirst into the la brea tar pits? 00:27:16	I dyed it myself. 00:27:17	Apparently, when the box says "four minutes," " I think it looks good, really. 00:27:24	I mean, if you don't mind, I got some old dress shoes I'd like to buff on your head. 00:27:30	You know, maybe if you were dating someone your age, you wouldn't feel the need to try to look younger. 00:27:36	Who says that's why I dyed my hair? 00:27:39	Why else would you do it? 00:27:40	Maybe he wanted the drapes to match the carpet. 00:27:45	Ugh. oy. 00:27:51	Shh. Don't move. 00:27:52	There's a black cat on vic's head. 00:27:59	Probably after the black mouse under his nose. 00:28:04	Hey, george. 00:28:06	Could I talk to you for a sec? 00:28:06	It's important. 00:28:09	What's going on? 00:28:10	What-tcha. check it out. 00:28:13	That's $2,500. 00:28:14	That's more than vic paid. 00:28:17	I want to buy a date with your sister. 00:28:22	You're not buying my sister! 00:28:23	Oh, come on. 00:28:24	But I do have an older model that's taking up valuable showroom space. 00:28:31	Oh, linda. 00:28:34	You look beautiful. 00:28:36	.. 00:28:38	You did that to your hair. 00:28:41	It was an accident. 00:28:44	You hate it, don't you? 00:28:46	Well, it's really -- put her on the spot there, super mario. 00:28:54	Okay, now that we're all here, we're gonna start with a different game tonight. 00:28:59	" in the suburbs, it's called "you might want to sit down " in the hood, it's called "oh, no, you didn'" what are you talking about? 00:29:14	Angie, there's something you need to know about your dad. 00:29:17	.. 00:29:17	He kissed our mommy. 00:29:21	And I'm not talking a peck on the cheek. 00:29:23	I'm talking full-on mustache to mustache. 00:29:27	! 00:29:33	Daddy? 00:29:35	You told. 00:29:36	No, it was ernie. 00:29:37	Hey, I only told because it wasn't fair! 00:29:39	The only reason george let him go out with linda is because vic gave him $2,000! 00:29:44	Dude! 00:29:47	! 00:29:48	You pimped me out ! 00:29:52	Why you got to say it like that -- negative? 00:29:57	I didn't know you guys were gonna end up kissing. 00:30:00	It was to forgive a debt and, you know, some mad money. 00:30:04	Linda, please believe me. 00:30:05	The kiss with benny meant absolutely nothing. 00:30:09	Oh! 00:30:10	This is so sick! 00:30:13	You are using my daughter to win me over. 00:30:25	What? am I way off? 00:30:28	Look, whatever happened between me and your mother doesn't change the way I feel about you. 00:30:35	That's sweet. 00:30:37	But I'm kind of nauseous. 00:30:39	.. 00:30:40	I think you have a lot of issues you need to work on before we ever go out again. 00:30:44	.. 00:30:45	We're going out again? 00:30:49	[ Both groaning ] come on, vic, she's trying to be nice. 00:30:52	Don't make her say it. 00:30:54	Say what? 00:30:55	I think it's probably best if we just stay friends. 00:30:59	Ooh. ouch. 00:30:59	That hurt from over here. 00:31:03	So, thank you all for playing " [ ernie laughs ] George: What-tcha. 00:31:11	.. 00:31:13	I think it's best if we played a game and never mention this again. 00:31:17	Okay, we need three teams. 00:31:18	Who wants to pick? 00:31:20	Oh, I think it's obvious how we divide up now. 00:31:24	You and george .. 00:31:27	The two people linda willneversleep with. 00:31:34	And the mother/ daughter team who got tongued by the hairy cuban. 00:31:42	Who's got the dice? 00:31:56	I'm starting to think this wasn't such a good idea. 00:31:58	it's gonna help me get elected for student council. 00:32:01	All the girls will vote for me, and some of the guys. 00:32:04	"Carmen lopez--abs-olutely " hey, dad, guess what? 00:32:11	I'm running for student council at st. theresa's. 00:32:14	Good luck. very proud. 00:32:14	Game's on. 00:32:16	Ooh, grandma's got just the spot for this. 00:32:18	I built a model earth that floats. 00:32:22	Good luck. very proud. 00:32:22	Game's on. 00:32:26	Unlike the bigger wedding planners, I don't take on several clients at once. 00:32:30	So if you choose me, you get my undivided attention. 00:32:35	Oh, angie, i-i didn't know YOU WERE IN HERE. Shh. 00:32:36	What are you doing? 00:32:37	I'm trying to work. 00:32:37	Well, we were listening to the lakers on the radio in the car. 00:32:42	It's the last minute, and they're tied with houston. 00:32:44	They came back and tied it up? 00:32:45	I got to see this. 00:32:47	George. 00:32:48	It's just for a minute, baby. 00:32:48	I'll put it on mute. 00:32:50	Okay, you won't even know we're here. 00:32:52	I can take care of everything from the engagement party to the actual wedding ceremony. 00:32:58	In fact, I can help you plan your trip for your honeymoon.