The Job


 * Mom! Wake up!
 * Ah! Oh!
 * Mom? Are you okay?
 * Oh, I had the weirdest dream, I was on the front lawn, and your father had a job as a pizza delivery guy!
 * Ha! That wasn't a dream, that's what I just told you! And you fainted! Ha ha ha!
 * Eh. Uh, I guess I was just overcome by a strange new feeling!
 * What do you mean?
 * I think I'm pruhhh - I think i'm puhrulll - I think I'm prood of you, Richard!
 * You mean "proud"?
 * Yes, I think so. It's just, I'm not used to saying that word much, particularly to describe your father. Uh, uh, I think I need to go lie down. Something about this is not right. Please follow him to make sure nothing goes wrong!
 * I gotta say, Dad, I never thought you were gonna get a job!
 * Neither did I! I found a number for Fervidus Pizza Delivery, but I didn't realize it was a job application. Should've known it was strange they wanted my Social Security number, but look at me now!! I am an Italian Food Distribution Engineer! Your mother is prood of me, and best of all, I can eat as much pizza as I like!
 * and : [both gasp] THEY GIVE YOU FREE PIZZA?
 * Technically, no. But what I do is...
 * Step 1: Remove a slice from the center of the pizza. Step 2: Eat the pizza slice. Step 3: Push the remaining halves of the pizza back together, and cover your tracks. Step 4: Put the pizza in its box. Step 5: Enjoy how clever you are. Step 6: Repeat.
 * Gawwh... Well, these pizzas aren't gonna deliver themselves! Whoa whoa whoa! whoa! Ha ha ha, GAAAH!
 * Look at him... He's not gonna keep this job for long unless we give him a hand.
 * Step 1: Remove a slice from the center of the pizza. Step 2: Eat the pizza slice. Step 3: Push the remaining halves of the pizza back together, and cover your tracks. Step 4: Put the pizza in its box. Step 5: Enjoy how clever you are. Step 6: Repeat.
 * Gawwh... Well, these pizzas aren't gonna deliver themselves! Whoa whoa whoa! whoa! Ha ha ha, GAAAH!
 * Look at him... He's not gonna keep this job for long unless we give him a hand.

Whispers of Doom

 * Your father has a job... Your father has a job. SOMETHING'S GOING TO GO TERRIBLY WRONG, ISN'T IT?!
 * No, this is a good thing! We can finally buy all the things we need!
 * What do you mean? We've got everything we need.
 * Mom... We've all been wearing the same clothes for the past year, you three don't even have any shoes...  And I think it's time Darwin wore some pants.
 * Huh... Wait a minute, show me that. Look at the crack down the earth, and your father's eyes!  I've got a bad feeling about this.
 * Mom, please. It's just delivering pizzas! How wrong can it go?
 * Very wrong....

A Very Special Delivery

 * Okay, 438 Elm Street. That's the place.
 * Siciliana, come see what the stork brought us!
 * Oh look, he's got his father's eyes! Oh he's beautiful.
 * Thank you so much. Here's a twenty.
 * Oh look, he's got his father's eyes! Oh he's beautiful.
 * Thank you so much. Here's a twenty.

Richard on the Job

 * Here I am, I got a J-O-B
 * Earnin' plenty o' dough for my family
 * Yeah, I'm Richard Watterson, employee
 * So have some R-E-S-P-C-K-T
 * I got a pizza in the box
 * I got a cola in the bottle
 * And I'll get it to ya' faster when I'm pullin' on the throttl-AHHHH!

Made with All-Natural Ingredients

 * Oh man, we gave them the vegetarian! What are we gonna do?!
 * Improvise!
 * Are you sure this is going to work? Because right now-
 * -it kinda looks like a load of grass and dirt...
 * Ehhh, it just needs some mozzarella.
 * There!
 * Ohhh, finally! I've been on this Tibetan diet where you're supposed to eat nothing but sunlight, but it's been really cloudy! I think I need to eat something that actually exists!! At least it was organic...
 * DUDE! I think he stopped breathing!
 * That'll be twenty dollars.
 * Ohhh, finally! I've been on this Tibetan diet where you're supposed to eat nothing but sunlight, but it's been really cloudy! I think I need to eat something that actually exists!! At least it was organic...
 * DUDE! I think he stopped breathing!
 * That'll be twenty dollars.
 * That'll be twenty dollars.
 * That'll be twenty dollars.

A Healthy Dose of Unreality

 * Anais! Did you see that?!
 * See what?
 * Yeah, I know, running water! Wasn't like that in your day, huh? You know...when the world was in black and white, and you could leave your front door open, and everyone cycled to school in a bike with one big wheel at the front...
 * I don't claim to understand it, Anais, but something is going wrong. Seriously wrong. And I think it has to do with your father.
 * I think we're going to stop with the coffee...
 * DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE I'M HYSTERICAL!
 * I think we're going to stop with the coffee...
 * DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE I'M HYSTERICAL!

A Creepy Bunch of Bananas

 * Ah, pizza!
 * Okay...um, so...guess what's in the box!
 * Correct! And for ten points, what's round, from Italy, and sometimes has olives on it?
 * Right again! And, for double or nothing: what is the name of the tower that leans to one side?
 * Eh, it's "Pisa", but I'll give you that one. O-okay, okay, game's over, guys.
 * and : Riiight.
 * I'm just going to put the box down here. O-okay, bye now...
 * Well, somebody likes pizza...
 * That's one creepy bunch of bananas, man.
 * Eh, it's "Pisa", but I'll give you that one. O-okay, okay, game's over, guys.
 * and : Riiight.
 * I'm just going to put the box down here. O-okay, bye now...
 * Well, somebody likes pizza...
 * That's one creepy bunch of bananas, man.
 * That's one creepy bunch of bananas, man.
 * That's one creepy bunch of bananas, man.

Media Blitz

 * Mom, when you say "Dad having a job has upset the fundamental balance of the universe", are you sure you don't just mean he's changed the balance of power in the house, and that upsets you because you're a little bit of a control freak?
 * No...well, maybe uh, I don't know anymore!
 * Boys! What's going on with your father? Has something terrible happened?
 * Um, he dropped a few pizzas so...we delivered 'em. That's about it.
 * Maybe I should just try to forget about this...
 * Reports of strange occurences all around Elmore! At Food 'n' Stuff, it's been nighttime all day!
 * It's supposed to be noon!
 * Meanwhile, residents were confused by unseasonal snow!
 * It's supposed to be June!
 * And one senior citizen seems to have inverted gravity!
 * I'm supposed to be on the ground!
 * SEE? I told you! This is all because of your father! Some things are not meant to be! Dogs shouldn't get on with cats, men shouldn't have ponytails, and your father is not meant to have a job!
 * What are we gonna do?!
 * We have to stop him.
 * SEE? I told you! This is all because of your father! Some things are not meant to be! Dogs shouldn't get on with cats, men shouldn't have ponytails, and your father is not meant to have a job!
 * What are we gonna do?!
 * We have to stop him.
 * We have to stop him.

The Eleventh Hour

 * Look, I'm sorry, but tearing apart the fabric of the universe is not a dismissible offence! Now please let me go!
 * Don't you understand?! You need to fire him!
 * But he's doing okay!
 * What if he delivers a pizza late?
 * Uh, well, yeah I guess I could fire him for that...
 * Then he's not gonna deliver this one.
 * Then he's not gonna deliver this one.

In Utter Darkness

 * Mild or spicy, my flavors will exhilarate
 * You get them double-quickly when I'm twisting the accelerator!
 * Twisting the accelerator!
 * Twisting the accelerator!
 * We must be getting close. That was him!
 * The closer we get to dad, the more warped the universe becomes! We've gotta be careful!
 * Then you better hold on tight...
 * What's happened? I feel really smart!
 * I don't...
 * DAAAAHHHHH!
 * DON'T FORGET TO CHECK YOUR MIRRORS!
 * This is not so bad...
 * I think the worst is ov-
 * CAN'T... TAKE IT... ANY... meow.  Where's he delivering this pizza?
 * Ah, 34th street!
 * I know a shortcut! We'll be there in no-
 * Look, I'm sorry, but tearing apart the fabric of the universe is not a dismissible offense! Now please let me go!
 * What th-? Oh, man, we went back in time!
 * We'll never catch up with him!
 * We'll see about that!
 * We'll go this way... What's the house number?
 * Uh, I don't know!
 * Well make an effort! This street is two miles long!
 * Uh, I think I know which house it is!
 * There he is!
 * RUUUUUN!
 * FOR HEAVENS' SAKE LARRY, FIRE HIM!
 * But he hasn't done anything wrong!
 * He's destroying the univers-urgh
 * , and : MOM!!
 * I'm all right! I guess... Now go and stop your father!
 * Gumball, look!
 * , and : DAD!  DON'T DELIVER THE PIZZA!
 * ,, , and :  NOOOOOO!
 * Hey!
 * Have you been eating this pizza?!
 * Just a little bit from the middle.
 * Watterson, in accordance with article 34 of the Fervidus Pizza handbook... I fire thee!
 * NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * ...I'm sorry I lost my job, Nicole. I know you were really prood of me.
 * It's all right, honey.
 * But don't worry! I'll get another one!
 * , and : MOM!!
 * I'm all right! I guess... Now go and stop your father!
 * Gumball, look!
 * , and : DAD!  DON'T DELIVER THE PIZZA!
 * ,, , and :  NOOOOOO!
 * Hey!
 * Have you been eating this pizza?!
 * Just a little bit from the middle.
 * Watterson, in accordance with article 34 of the Fervidus Pizza handbook... I fire thee!
 * NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * ...I'm sorry I lost my job, Nicole. I know you were really prood of me.
 * It's all right, honey.
 * But don't worry! I'll get another one!
 * Just a little bit from the middle.
 * Watterson, in accordance with article 34 of the Fervidus Pizza handbook... I fire thee!
 * NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * ...I'm sorry I lost my job, Nicole. I know you were really prood of me.
 * It's all right, honey.
 * But don't worry! I'll get another one!
 * But don't worry! I'll get another one!
 * But don't worry! I'll get another one!