Bob And Larry Solve The Mideast Crisis 2025

Opening Countertop

 * [opening credits, music]
 * Bob: Hi, folks. I'm Bob the Tomato.
 * Larry: And I'm Larry the Cucumber.
 * Bob: Welcome to VeggieTales. [to Larry] Ah, Larry. What are you doing?
 * Larry: [displays a tube of toothpaste] Trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube.
 * Bob: Trying to...
 * Larry: Yeah, I wasn't looking. I squirted too much of it out. [to the camera] It's important to brush your teeth kids, but you see, with only one tooth, I don't need that much. It's not putting it back in the tube. Don't want to be wasteful.
 * Bob: Well, but Larry, I don't think that there's much way you can...
 * Larry: No, I gotta figure it out here, Bob. You just squeeze it here and...
 * Bob: No Larry. I don't think that... [Larry squirts the toothpaste out of the tube making Bob furious] Larry!
 * Larry: Oh no. That wasn't supposed to happen. Now I've got toothpaste all over the place.
 * Bob: You mean all over me!
 * Larry: [notices Bob has toothpaste all over him] Whoops. Sorry, Bob.
 * Bob: Mmph! Somebody got a towel? [he wipes the toothpaste off him] Okay. Now where was I? Oh yeah. [finds a sheet of paper] Larry. Today we have a letter from a kid named Landon. Landon said that he accidentally stepped his friend Brandon's foot, and that Brandon said that he has the right to step on Landon's foot and return. He wants to know if Brandon is right about individual rights. Should they always be equal?
 * Larry: [still holding the tube of toothpaste] Hey, that's a question I can't relate to, I mean... considering that we don't have any feet.
 * Bob: Well, the same question could apply to other thing. I mean... Suppose Landon has accidentally poked someone in the eye. Or since we were on the subject of teeth, what if he had knocked someone's tooth out?
 * Larry: Hmm, the old eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth question.
 * Bob: I think we might have a video that would address that, Larry.
 * Larry: Oh, really?
 * Bob: Yes. Except this one's about trees.
 * Larry: Trees? It'll never work, Bob. You see, trees don't have eyes, or feet, or teeth. They have a lot of leaves, though, and plenty of bark. In fact, since they don't have any teeth, it might be said that their bark is worse than their bite.
 * Bob: Ah, Larry. Let's just watch the movie.
 * Larry: [shows the tube of toothpaste again] Okay, Bob. While we do, I'll look for a better way to get the toothpaste back in the tube.
 * Bob: Oh, yeah. And I'll stand a safe distance away. [scene fades to black]

Muslims and Jews

 * [cars driving on road, music again, Junior and Laura are standing at a bus stop near the street]
 * Laura: Missed the bus again! We've got to stop spending so much time cleaning off those erasers.
 * Junior: Yeah. Maybe we should just bang them together like all the other kids do. Maybe we don't need the Dustbuster.
 * Laura: Yeah. Let's start walking. I've got homework to do.
 * Junior: Me too. Did you get that assignment about planting a tree?
 * Laura: I sure did. I don't know either of those two kids they mash me out with. Some girl named Sarah, and another one named Hagar. I don't think they knew each other either.
 * Junior: Yeah. I got paired up with some kid named Ishmael, and another one named Isaac. Why don't they want us to plant a tree with some stranger?
 * Laura: Something about Christians working together with Muslims and Jews.
 * Junior: I know what a Jew is. They are the people in the Bible, but what's a Muslim?
 * Laura: I don't know. It has something to do with a religion that is similar to, but not exactly like Christians. Apparently, the three of us haven't gotten along too well in the past, so they want us to get practiced working together.
 * Junior: Oh, brother. How am I going to work together with people I don't get along with, and planting a tree at that?
 * Laura: Well, just because our families haven't gotten along too well, doesn't mean we can't get along with Sarah, and Hagar, and Ishmael, and Isaac.
 * Junior: I don't know.
 * Laura: Hey, your dad's a pastor. Maybe he can tell you something about these guys.
 * Junior: Yeah. Let's go ask him.
 * [scene cuts to the Bumblyburg Seventh-Day Adventist Church]
 * Junior: Dad? You around?
 * Dad: I'm in the office, Junior. Oh, hi, Laura.
 * Laura: Hi, pastor.
 * Junior: Dad, we need to know something about Muslims and Jews.
 * Dad: Muslims and Jews?
 * Junior: Yeah. We got a homework assignment about planting a tree with two of them.
 * Dad: Sounds like an interesting assignment.
 * Laura: Yeah, but we were told that they haven't always gotten along to well with Christians.
 * Dad: Well that's unfortunately true, but remember that Jesus got together with a lot of people, and haven't always gotten along too well themselves. A pharisee named Nicodemus, a publican named Matthew, and one named Zacchaeus. A Samaritan woman, a Phoenician woman, a Roman centurion, he helped them all to work together in spite of their differences.
 * Junior: Well, yeah. We heard about all those people in Sunday school. But why don't the Muslims and the Jews get along?
 * Dad: Well right now, there's a big dispute over who has a right to the Promised Land. And especially the city of Jerusalem. You see, the Jews owned the land up until 70 A.D. But they were governed over by the Roman Empire. And then the Roman Caesar got angry with them and had his soldiers drive them out of the land. Sometime after that, the Palestinian people began to settle in the land. But after World War 1 in 1916, the British took control of the land, and allowed the Palestinians to stay there. And then in World War 2, an evil man named Hitler treated the Jews real bad. And he had many of them killed.
 * Junior and Laura: Wow!
 * Dad: So anyway, when the war ended, a man by the name of Winston Churchill suggested that they let the Jews have their land back. That was met with a lot of resistance. Because they wanted the Palestinians to go somewhere else.
 * Laura: Yeah. I know how they felt. When my little brother came along, Mom and Dad made me move into another room. I want my own room back. Because it had a nice view of our... our backyard and plenty of good memories.
 * Dad: Right. And a decision was held up for a number of years by the politicians. And eventually, the British decided to give the land back to the Jewish people. But unfortunately, in the meantime, people on both sides called terrorists began first to argue, and then take things into their own hands.
 * Laura: Terrorists? We studied about them in school. They have done some really bad things.
 * Junior: So Muslims and Jews are terrorists?
 * Dad: Well, not all of them. In fact, not even most of them. Only a very small portion. But they have done some really hateful things and harmed people from each side. In fact, there had been times when people who have been calling themselves Christians have been terrorists.
 * Junior: Christians? I thought Christians were good people.
 * Dad: Well, they usually are. But remember that there are times when Christians don't act like Christians. And there are people who call themselves Christians, instead, act like the devil.
 * Laura: Well, that's sure true. Like that kid Tommy in my class. He goes to church every week, and yet, he dipped my hair in ink last week.
 * Junior: Well, why don't the Jews and the Muslims just share the land, instead of arguing over it, and doing bad things to each other?
 * Laura: Maybe, it's the same thing with them. Maybe some of them don't always act like God's people, and maybe some of them aren't really living for God anyway.
 * Dad: I think you're probably right, Laura. But really, that's a question that I'd better let them answer. Look, you guys have made a good start, and coming to me, to get our side of the story. But maybe, it would be good if you got together with the Muslim and the Jewish students, and ask their parents as well. I happen to know Sarah's father, Rabbi Levi, and Ishmael's father, Imam Abdul. I'll tell them you're coming. But before you go, I should tell you that Christians, or so-called Christians haven't always been innocent by-standers in this either. There was something called the Crusades, and the Inquisition which took place, which Christians really need to apologize to both Jews and Muslims for.
 * Junior: Wow. Well, okay. I'll talk to Isaac and Ishmael tomorrow, and hopefully, we can go meet their parents.
 * Laura: And I'll talk to Sarah and Hagar.

Rabbi Levi

 * Bob: So, Junior and Laura got together with Sarah, Hagar, Isaac, and Ishmael, and went to see their parents.
 * Larry: They went first to see Sarah's father, Rabbi Levi.
 * [scene fades to black and cuts to Junior and Laura at Sarah's house]
 * Levi: Well, Laura and Junior, that's a very good question. Why don't we just want to share the land? The answer is that we're concerned, because there are so many more Palestinians than there are Jews in the world. You see, many years ago, the Hebrew people were in Egypt. and were made slaves by the Pharaoh and his people. Years after that, those in the Northern Kingdom were taken over by the Assyrians, and their leader Sennacherib did some even worse things to the Jews. Then the whole nation was taken over by the Babylonians who were just as bad. And it was the Greeks. And during Jesus time, it was the Romans. And finally, a lot of the Jews wound up in Nazi, Germany under a man by the name of Adolf Hitler.
 * Junior and Laura: Hitler?!?
 * Laura: We've studied about him in school.
 * Junior: Yeah. He was a very, very, very bad man.
 * Levi: That's right. And most of the Germans were good people. But Hitler was in charge. And the Jews were just a minority. Ask your parents or your teacher about a thing called the Holocaust, and they will tell you what happened.
 * Laura: I think we already know. The Holocaust is one of the meanest things that ever happened.
 * Junior: It sure was. Hitler must have been one of those people who called himself a Christian, but really wasn't.
 * Levi: Well, actually, he didn't believe in God at all. When that was politically adventageous, he called himself a Christian.
 * Junior: Yeah. My dad once said, that he could get four tires, a tank of gasoline, and go stand in the garage, but that wouldn't make him a car, and that some people dress and talk like Christians, but really act like the devil.
 * Levi: That's right, Junior. And believe me, we had them on each side.
 * Laura: But why won't the Jews just share the land with the Palestinians?
 * Levi: Well, it sounds like it's a simple solution, Laura. But there's a great concern that we will end up being a minority again, and might end up in a situation like we were in Egypt, or in Babylon, or Greece, or Rome.
 * Laura: Yeah, I get the point.
 * Levi: Or Nazi, Germany. [scene fades to black]

Erma Bombeck 3000

 * [scene cuts back to the countertop]
 * Bob: So, at last, Junior and Laura understood the Jews' concern. It wasn't that they hated the Palestinians. They just didn't want to become a minority and run the risk of being in slavery again.
 * LarryBoy: Right, or even worse: Another Holocaust.
 * Bob: Yes. And... [he sees Larry in his superhero outfit] Oh, LarryBoy. Hey, you're here fast. [to the camera] Pardon me, folks. I'd like you to meet the world's most famous superhero, LarryBoy, the guardian of Bumblyburg [to LarryBoy] Say, where did Larry go?
 * LarryBoy: Looking for a way to get the toothpaste back in the tube.
 * Bob: Oh, yeah. [dramatic music plays]
 * LarryBoy: By the meantime, he wanted me to share a solution to unscrambling eggs.
 * Bob: What? You can unscramble eggs?
 * LarryBoy: Well, I mean not specifically. I brought in my assistant, Alfred. [shows Alfred on the screen]
 * Bob: Oh. Hi, Alfred.
 * LarryBoy: You see, whereas LarryBoy is occupied with catching dangerous criminals such as the pigeon, the broker, and the fiddler, Alfred is an expert at saving dinner parties. So I brought him to come in, and present his new invention. [displays a mechanical whisking machine]
 * Bob: Woah. What is that thing?
 * Alfred: It's my newest invention. The Super Turbo Deluxe Erma Bombeck Spectacular!
 * Bob: Erma Bombeck?
 * Alfred: Yeah. You see, she's the one who got the idea that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.
 * Bob: Well, okay. But that machine looks dangerous.
 * Alfred: No, not at all. It actually serves to make lemonade, applesauce, and scrambled eggs.
 * Bob: But we need to unscramble eggs, not make more of them.
 * Alfred: Oh. Master Larry didn't tell me that.
 * LarryBoy: [holding the machine] There's no need to worry, Alfred. I've got it all figured out. Frying the Super Turbo Deluxe Erma Bombeck Spectacular can scramble eggs and running it backwards will unscramble them.
 * Bob: I don't know.
 * Alfred: Well, I suppose we could reverse the polarity on the machine, but I'm not sure if it...
 * LarryBoy: Of course it will. [turns on the machine]
 * Bob: I don't see anything yet.
 * LarryBoy: Hmm, let's speed it up [speeds up the machine]
 * Bob: Wait! No! [LarryBoy is flying with the machine] What kind of a machine is this? [LarryBoy is spins around the room with the machine which spats eggs all over Bob's face]
 * Alfred: Use your super-suction ears!
 * LarryBoy: [LarryBoy stops the machine and lands on Bob] All right. I guess I gave it too much juice.
 * Bob: Will you please get off of me?
 * Alfred: Uh, Master Larry, I think we'd better get going. Oh, Larry's signal is in the sky. I just got word of a major crime spree in Bumblyburg. The pigeon is in Central Park, and the broker is at the New York Stock Exchange.
 * LarryBoy: What about the fiddler?
 * Alfred: He's on the roof!
 * LarryBoy: Well, see you around. I gotta get back to catching the bad guys. To the LarryMobile, Alfred. [flashback to LarryBoy! and the Fib from Outer Space! with Larry driving away in his LarryMobile]
 * Bob: [covered with scrambled eggs which form eyebrows and a mouth] Hey! Who's gonna clean up all this mess?!? Oh, never mind. I know who. Wow. If I didn't know better, I bet that superhero was just as destructive as Larry. [forms a neutral face, to the camera] Well, anyways, let's get back to Junior and Laura. You remember they had spoken to Rabbi Levi and learned why the Jews did not want to get the citizenship back to the Palestinians. But Junior's dad had suggested that they'd go see Imam Abdul to get both sides.
 * [scene fades to black, then cuts to Junior and Laura walking down the street}
 * Laura: Wow! So that's why the Jews want to live in a land by themselves.
 * Junior: Yeah. I can sure see their point. But I guess we ought to do what Dad said and go see Hagar and Ishmael's parents too. [scene fades to black]

Imam Abdul

 * Bob: So, they ended up in the home os Ishmael's father, Imam Abdul.
 * Larry: Right. At least, this way, they could hear both sides.
 * Bob: Oh, Larry. You're back. Help me wipe these scrambled eggs of my face, would you. While we're doing that, let's get back to Junior and Laura at Imam Abdul's house.
 * [scene fades to black, cuts to Junior and Laura at Ishmael's house]
 * Abdul: Well, Junior and Laura, thank you for coming to see me. That took a lot of courage. You see, ever since 9/11, it seems that many Christians have been afraid to even talk with Muslims.
 * Junior: Well, we were a bit afraid. Someone told us that you guys wanted to kill all of us.
 * Abdul: A lot of people think that, Junior. You see, they misunderstand some verses in our book called the Quran. You see, many years ago, our prophet Muhammad met up with some Christian missionaries, and realized that there was only one true god, and that he loved the whole world and wanted them to know him better. So Muhammad went back to his people who were called kourosh and kali radians, and told him the good news. Many of them accepted this willingly. But some of them refused to leave their old religion.
 * Laura: Well, that was the right, I guess.
 * Abdul: It certainly was. But unfortunately, these old religions were just as bad as Hitler. And he started attacking Muhammad's people. We call them infidels. And instructed his people to go to war to defend themselves and their children.
 * Junior: Yeah. That's sort of like the United States Military. After 9/11, my dad said that he was opposed to war, but that sometimes it was necessary for our soldiers to fight in order to protect everybody else.
 * Abdul: Exactly. Most military soldiers were really good people, who aren't looking to conquer anybody, but rather to protect the innocent But unfortunately, some people, including Muslims had got the idea that the infidels that Muhammad wrote about were actually the Christians and the Jews, and wars have started as a result.
 * Laura: Well, we talked to Rabbi Levi, and he told us that the Jews don't want to be outnumbered because of what happened to them in places like Rome and Nazi, Germany.
 * Abdul: Well, that's a reasonable concern, Laura. Unfortunately, in order to give Israelis their own land, the former owners took away the Palestinians' right to be citizens and to vote.
 * Laura: That was probably to keep the Jews from becoming a minority.
 * Abdul: You're probably right, Laura. In the process, they made the Palestinians into people denied of human rights. You see, they aren't allowed to vote, can't move around freely. A lot of Palestinians would like to visit the holy city of Jerusalem, but, they're forbidden. And even more, many of them can't get a job. Because Israelis are afraid to hire them. So they hired people from Europe instead.
 * Junior and Laura: Wow!
 * Laura: Uh, Imam Abdul, can I ask you one more thing before we leave?
 * Abdul: Of course, Laura.
 * Laura: Someone also told me that Muslim men are always beating up women.
 * Abdul: Well, again, Laura, that's a misunderstanding as well. I'm afraid it's one that was started by someone who called himself a Muslim, but really wasn't. You see, there's a passage in the Quran in which Muhammad tells the men that if they meet a woman who is ungodly, they shouldn't get married to her and raise a family.
 * Junior: That makes sense. My dad says that's what they call unequally yoked.
 * Abdul: Exactly. But you see, Muhammad wrote this in the Arabic language. And in Arabic, the term for avoiding people sounds similar to the word for punching or hitting them. Actually, true Muslims believe the same as Christians and Jews on this subject, and all women are precious in God's site, and that he loves them very much.
 * [scene fades to black]

One Big Mess!

 * [scene cuts to a "rainbow colored" countertop]
 * Bob: So anyway, Junior and Laura came to see Larry and I.
 * Larry: Right. I remember. They were really frustrated and confused.
 * [scene fades to black with Junior and Laura visiting Bob and Larry]
 * Laura: This whole thing is really one big mess!
 * Junior: Yeah. If the Jews welcome the Palestinians, in as citizen, they are afraid of being outnumbered and having some evil dictator like Hitler takeover.
 * Laura: And yet, if they don't welcome them, the Palestinians will be stuck living in a messed-up situation where they aren't citizens. Can't vote, and get a job, and can't even move around. Freely.
 * Larry: Wow! What a mess! It's like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube, or like trying to unscramble eggs.
 * Bob: But maybe there's a solution.
 * Larry: No, Bob. It's hopeless. You ever try and put toothpaste back in the tube, what a mess.
 * Bob: Not that.
 * Larry: Well you certainly can't unscramble eggs either, Bob. You're just stuck eating them the way they are.
 * Bob: Larry, forget about the toothpaste and the eggs. I'm talking about Israel and Palestine.
 * Larry: You got something in mind, Bob?
 * Bob: Well, no. But with God, all things are possible. Maybe if you and I and the kids go see Grandpa George, he might have some advice.
 * Larry: Hey, that's right. I forgot about Grandpa George. He helped us out that one time we got into that big mess with Buzz-Saw Louie.
 * [scene fades to black, neighborhood tour, music again]

Grandpa George

 * Bob: So anyway, all four of us went to see Grandpa George.
 * [scene cuts to Bob, Larry, Junior, and Laura visiting Grandpa George]
 * George: Well, this is a tough one. Sort of like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube.
 * Larry: You see, Bob? I told you. You forgot the part about unscrambling eggs.
 * Bob: Quiet, Larry.
 * George: You see, this whole problem actually didn't start with the Christians, Muslims, or the Jews.
 * Bob, Larry, Junior, and Laura: No?!?
 * George: No! It actually started with a king by the name of Hammurabi. He wasn't part of any of those people.
 * Bob: Who?
 * Larry: Hammurabi, Bob. That's the fellow who works down at the hardware store.
 * George: No, Hammurabi. He was a king who lived more than 4000 years ago.
 * Laura: Well, what did he do?
 * George: Well, he probably meant well, but he came up with this idea called the eye-for-an-eye, tooth-for-a-tooth law. That meant even if somebody happened to hit you in the eye by accident, then you're allowed to punch the other guy in the eye.
 * Esther: Sorry, fella. Uh-oh... [punch! looses a tooth] Hey! I lost a tooth.
 * Jonah: Well, fair is fair. [punch! Jonah looses another tooth] I knocked two teeth out! [punch! Esther looses another tooth]
 * Esther: Hey! [the Jonah continuously punches Esther in the face]
 * George: And there was no stopping it. People just went right on trying to get revenge and even the score. Even the Jews were required by it when they were traveling through the wilderness in Hammurabi's backyard. It was opposed to end when they entered the Promised Land. But even the day, a lot of people lived by it.
 * Bob: The eye-for-an-eye, tooth-for-a-tooth law? So there was a chain reaction and no way of stopping it?
 * George: Well, actually, there was. A lot of people rejected it. You see, when the Romans ruled over Israel, they came up with a law that any soldier carrying a heavy load through the land was allowed to single out any Jew in the crowd, and forcing him to carry his bag one mile.
 * Esther: Hey, you!
 * Jonah: Are you talking to me now?
 * Esther: You!
 * Jonah: Me?
 * Esther: Yes, you. Now carry my bag for one mile.
 * Jonah: A whole mile?
 * Esther: Yes. A whole mile. 1,760 yards.
 * George: And a person carrying a bag would actually fuss and grumble and shout insult with the soldier. As the soldier got mad at him, the next time he came to town, he brought a heavier bag.
 * Jonah: Hey, this thing's so hard!
 * Esther: Yeah, now let's go! One mile. 1,760 yards.
 * George: But then you see, Jesus came on the scene and taught people to try a different approach. That meant to be turning your enemy into a friend. Jesus said, if a soldier compels you to carry his bag one mile, carry it two. And along the way, you can turn the enemy into a friend.
 * Jonah: Say, by the way, how have you been?
 * Esther: What? Oh, fine, I guess.
 * Jonah: And how are the sis and parents?
 * Esther: Well, good.
 * Jonah: There's some really great friends you have. You should be very proud.
 * Esther: Oh, well I am. I looks...that's far enough.
 * Jonah: Now let's go another mile.
 * Esther: Well, I was sort of thinking that maybe I shouldn't have...
 * George: And the next time the soldier came to town, he would carry his own bag. He might offer to carry yours.
 * Bob, Larry, Junior, and Laura: Wow!