The Chamber Pot

[A parody of the "Be Our Guest" song from Beauty and the Beast is shown, as Lumiere, Cogsworth, Ms. Potts and Chip appear on the table]
 * Lumiere: (sung) So you're dining with a beast
 * That doesn't mean you shouldn't feast.
 * Cogsworth: Let us handle reservations
 * Give your taste buds a sensation!
 * [The sentient chamber pot Defecacchi appears, butting into the song]
 * Defeccachi: Have your fill, eat more still, There's no need to slow your pace.
 * After dinner, you'll be thinner once you sit down on my face.
 * Lumiere: [pushes Defeccachii away] So have seconds, eat a lot-
 * Defeccachi: Then come meet your chamber pooooooot...
 * Lumiere: [speaking, as music stops completely] We are trying to serve dinner here!
 * Defeccachi: What? Defecacchi doesn't get to sing along? I'm a person too! Defecacchi didn't asked to be a chamber pot!
 * Lumiere: None of us asked to be stuck in the form of household items, but people are eating!
 * Defeccachi: S,o Defecacchi only useful after dinner, eh? I have to live a solitary existence punctuated by people pooping in my-
 * Lumiere: [angrily] I said, people are EATING!
 * Defeccachi: [bounding away, muttering] Ohh, porca miseria...
 * Lumiere: OK, let's just get through this dinner, so the Beast can bang this bitch, and-- Belle? Where did Belle go?
 * [Cuts away to Belle pooping into Defeccachi]
 * Defeccachi: (sung) Ring the bell, sound the horn!
 * Looks like someone's eating corn.
 * Belle: [in disgust] Does everything have to be a f**king song?!