The White Elephant Gift Exchange

(Episode opens to the workers outside)

Benson: Alright, everybody. It's the holiday season, so we've got a lot of things on the agenda. We've got to hang the lights on the tree, prepare the track for the annual sled-a-thon, and last, but not least, tonight is our yearly white elephant gift exchange.

(Everyone, except Muscle Man, groans)

Muscle Man: Whoo! Hear that, sugar plums? White Elephant. You all know Muscle Man brings it with the gifts. I'm gonna start bringing in the holiday cheer right now. (He takes off his shirt, swings his shirt over his head, and leaves) Whooooooo!!!

(Circle-wipe transfers to everyone in Benson's office, and they start complaining)

Rigby: Benson, you've gotta call off the white elephant.

Mordecai: Yeah, you know Muscle Man always pranks us by getting terrible gifts.

Pops: Every year, his gifts ruin Christmas.

Hi-Five Ghost: Yeah, I love the guy, but he doesn't know when to quit.

Skips: You remember the glove incident?

(Benson covers his mouth to stop himself from throwing up, and then breaths)

Benson: Don't remind me. Every time, you think you're gonna get something you want, then bam! Muscle Man swoops in, steals your good gift, and you're stuck with his prank one. But this year's gonna be different, this year, we're gonna give him the horrible gifts.

Mordecai: Really?

Hi-Five Ghost: Okay.

Rigby: Nice.

Mordecai: But there's no way of knowing if he'll pick the right gift.

Skips: It's impossible to rig it.

Benson: It's not impossible if the odds are stacked in your favor.

Rigby: What do you mean?

Benson: I mean, I've got a plan.

(Scenario begns to everyone in the living room during the white elephant gift exchange)

Benson (V.O): The order of the white elephant gift exchange is decided by picking random numbers out of a hat.

Benson: Next up is, Number 6!

Rigby: OOOOOOOH! Lucky number 6!

Benson (V.O): But what if it wasn't random? What if we write the exact same number on every slip of paper, pretend to have our numbers called?

Rigby: Lucky number 6! (He picks up a gift and prepares to open it) I wonder what it could be!

Benson (VO):  Yes what could it be? What's something Muscle Man  wouldn't want to steal, something that even he  would find absolutley horrible?

(Rigby opens the gift)

Skips (V.O): Deodorant.

Pops (V.O): Ooohh, a new tie!

Hi-Five Ghost (V.O): A Hugstable doll?

Benson: Close, but no.

(A salad bowl and spoon appear.)

Rigby: Aww, salad acceseories?

Benson (VO):  Yes, salad accessories! It's a known fact that Muscle Man hates anything salad related.

Others: Ahhhh! (all nod)

Benson (VO): Keep doing this gift after gift, nothing but salad accessories, until Muscle Man is the only one left in the game who hasn't stolen anything...

(Muscle Man makes a sour motion.)

Benson (VO): ...leaving him no choice but to pick the last remaining gift we set up for him. And when he goes to open the gift...

Others: Yeah? Yeah?

Benson: I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead.

(The others groan.)

Benson (continued): But that's where you guys come in. I already bought all the salad stuff. We just need to find something that will make the worst possible gift for Muscle Man.

Mordecai: Hmm hmm. With pleasure.

Rigby: Yeah, we could totally do that.

Benson: Alright then. Let's split up and get shopping. We're out for revenge here, people, so go, go, go!

(Cut to a food shop called Naughty 9 Cent. Fives can be heard laughing. Inside, he picks a can of tuna from a food aisle. Pops is with him.)

Hi Five Ghost: What about this? Can't get any worse than expired tuna.

Pops: Isn't that a bit much?

Hi Five Ghost: No way! Remember what he did to you at last year's White Elephant?

(Zoom in on Pops'. A flashback to last year, where Pops' get a ship in a bottle as a gift.)

Pops: Oh, it's perfect! It looks just like the SS Constantinople!

Benson: I was hoping you'd pick that one, Pops.

Pops: I love it.

Muscle Man: Not so fast, Pops.

(Muscle Man holds up his number, which is unseen.)

Muscle Man (continued): It's my turn now, and I choose to steal...this gift!

(He steals Pops' gift, causing him to begin whimpering.)

Muscle Man (continued): Don't worry, Pops. It's all part of the game.