The Pizza

The Worst Day Ever

 * : Worst Day Ever!
 * : Richard, it's your turn to make dinner! The only thing I feel like serving up today is a knuckle sandwich!
 * : Gumball, it's your turn to make dinner!
 * : Why!?
 * : Because I'm too angry to think of a valid excuse!
 * : Darwin, make dinner!
 * : Why me?
 * : Because- [Hisses like an alien monster]
 * : Anais-!
 * : [Hits Darwin]
 * : Ow.
 * : Look. We've all had a difficult day. What we need is a balanced meal with meat and vegetables. I'm thinking tomatoes, and ham served on a bread base for a slow release of energy with melted cheese on top because dairy products are good for growing children's bone structure. It should minimize dish washing, and be round in shape negating any sharp edges to avoid oral injuries.
 * ,, and : Hmm. Pizza.
 * : Dagnabit, I thought I just invented a new food. I was gonna call it "The circular half-sandwich with stuff on it." [Sigh] I guess my greatest invention will remain to be the potato sticks fried in oil.
 * : [Walks over to phone] Okay. Then we'll get pizza to deliver. [Literally punches in numbers angrily ]
 * : I think you're still a little bit intense, mom. You shouldn't touch anything for a while and let dad do it.
 * : [Walks over to phone] Okay. Then we'll get pizza to deliver. [Literally punches in numbers angrily ]
 * : I think you're still a little bit intense, mom. You shouldn't touch anything for a while and let dad do it.

Pizza Time

 * : Okay, have you got it?
 * : Yes. We have a family sized pizza with one-fifth margherita, one-fifth vegetarian, one-fifth surf, one-fifth turf, and one-fifth mega meat. None of the fifths will be cooked in the same oven, but must be at an identical temperature on delivery.
 * : And a toy.
 * : I'm sorry sir. We don't do toys.
 * : AND A TOY.
 * : I guess I can run by the toy store. Your pizza will be there in forty-five minutes.
 * : [Stomach growls] I don't have forty-five minutes! Faster!
 * : Fine. If I skip my break, I can be there in half an hour.
 * : [Stomach growls]
 * : FINE. If I run the red lights, I can be there in fifteen minutes!
 * : [Stomach growls approvingly] That is acceptable.
 * : That'll be $9.99, and would you look to add a tip?
 * : Nnnn-I don't know. Does it taste good?
 * : No sir. I mean do you want to pay a good utility, for service and in compensation for the half-hour long order you just made?
 * : Do I have a choice?
 * : Always sir!
 * : Great! Then no! [Hangs up phone] We're getting a pizza, and I saved us money! This day just got as twice as good!

Waiting for the Order

 * Ugh! This is taking forever.
 * Be patient boys. It's only been sixteen minutes. Let's take our minds of it. [Switches on TV]
 * (on TV): Good evening. Our biggest story today is of course the sudden spike and renovation in Elmore. To illustrate the situation, here's a pie chart. [Points to pie chart]
 * [Stomach growls] Turn it off! Pie charts make me hungry!
 * [Switches off TV] Why don't we all tell each other about our day, and why we got upset in the first place. I'll go first. I was on my way to work-
 * When the car broke down.
 * Well, the damage is only superficial. [Closes car hood] So it shouldn't cost more than $100.
 * $100? [Breaks headlight] EXCUSE ME!?
 * Better make that 200.
 * WHAT? [Breaks windows]
 * Uh, 500?
 * WHAT? [Whole car falls apart]
 * [Yelps] [Whispers] 750?
 * Before I do what I'm about to do, I want you to know this is not your fault. You're just doing your job, but someone has to suffer for what happened and unfortunately you're the only one around. [Inhales deeply]
 * YOU ARE A WORM! YOU'RE A THIEVING, BOTTOM-FEEDING, MONEY-GRUBBING CROOK! PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE SQUEEZING THE VERY LAST CENT OUT OF HARD-WORKING FAMILIES! YOU'RE THE REASON ICE CAPS ARE MELTING AND BABY POLAR BEARS ARE HOMELESS! [Returns to normal] [Sighs in relief] I think that's all there was. Here. [Hand money]
 * Uh. Would you like to add a tip?
 * Sure, a little extra twelve percent? [Inhales deeply]
 * YOU'RE A WORTHLESS MAGGOT, A POINTLESS LITTLE--
 * Anyway, I feel much better now.
 * Oh. Sorry. A little too much in the moment there. [Head shrinks to normal]
 * [Groans] Where's the pizza! I'm so hungry I'm beginning to digest myself.
 * YOU'RE A WORTHLESS MAGGOT, A POINTLESS LITTLE--
 * Anyway, I feel much better now.
 * Oh. Sorry. A little too much in the moment there. [Head shrinks to normal]
 * [Groans] Where's the pizza! I'm so hungry I'm beginning to digest myself.
 * Oh. Sorry. A little too much in the moment there. [Head shrinks to normal]
 * [Groans] Where's the pizza! I'm so hungry I'm beginning to digest myself.
 * [Groans] Where's the pizza! I'm so hungry I'm beginning to digest myself.

Still Waiting

 * Alright, fine! Richard, how was your day?
 * I don't want to talk about it!
 * Richard, you obviously want the attention.
 * Fine, if you all insist.
 * …Come on. Insist!
 * Ugh just tell the story already!
 * Alright. So, I was in the burger joint-
 * Five double cheeseburgers, and three cookies and cream shakes.
 * Sir, please! You just ingested 12,000 calories an hour ago! To burn that off, you'll literally have to catch fire. I can't in good conscious serve you another meal before you exercise!
 * But I did exercise.
 * [Whispers] Sir, I saw you. You just walked outside, stared at your watch for an hour, and walked straight back in.
 * Sir, stop that!
 * [Grabs and eats ketchup and mustard]
 * Sir, you need to leave! You've had enough!
 * I'll telly you when I've had enough![Continues consuming condiments]
 * Sir! I'm gonna have to ask you to pay for that!
 * [Throws money at Larry]
 * Huh. I'm sorry, but it's company policy to ask. Would you like to add a tip?
 * Okay.
 * Well, the customer is always right. So even though you were very clearly in the wrong, you were in the right.
 * Ugh! WHERE'S THE PIZZA!?
 * What?
 * I'm so hungry I'm starting to hallucinate.
 * I'm so hungry I can't even hallucinate right.
 * Well, the customer is always right. So even though you were very clearly in the wrong, you were in the right.
 * Ugh! WHERE'S THE PIZZA!?
 * What?
 * I'm so hungry I'm starting to hallucinate.
 * I'm so hungry I can't even hallucinate right.
 * I'm so hungry I'm starting to hallucinate.
 * I'm so hungry I can't even hallucinate right.
 * I'm so hungry I can't even hallucinate right.

And Still Waiting

 * Well. Since the pizza still hasn't arrived, I might as well tell you why we're in such a bad mood. So, earlier on we went to the video store…
 * Exactly what I'm saying dude! These days, the trailers show you the whole thing, apart from the end credits.
 * Yeah! What's the point of watching the whole movie when you already know what happens in it? It's like going up to this guy [Gestures to Dr. Butt] and saying "Oh, you know that movie about the wizard kid under the stairs? Well, at the end the bearded dude gets iced by the goth guy.
 * [Farts in anger]
 * Or like that one with the asthmatic robot who turns out to be the laser samurai's dad.
 * [Rips off hair, and screams] [Walks away]
 * Yeah! Or at the end of the planet in the monkeys when we realize that it was Earth all along.
 * [Drops down on knees] You maniacs! GOSHDARN YOU!
 * Guys, please! You're killing my business here.
 * Dude, there's no one here.
 * You need to rethink your financial motto. No one rents DVDs anymore.
 * Then what are you doing here?
 * [Hands payment] Supporting my favorite store!
 * Well, how 'bout a tip?
 * [Takes money from the tip jar] Well, sure. Thank you. Hey look, a Twenty.
 * GET OUTTA HEEE-
 * What kind of store bans its own customers?
 * [Sigh] Worst day EVER!
 * …Wait. Do you know who really had the worst day ever?
 * ,, and : Me!
 * No, guys. Who really suffered all day?
 * ,, and : Me.
 * No! Who always puts up with us without ever getting any respect or gratitude?
 * ,, and : Oh. Me!
 * NO! Who's the person who's probably spitting in our pizza because of how we've all treated him?
 * ,, and : …you?
 * NO! LARRY! It's Larry, guys.
 * ,, and : [Mumbles about not knowing who Larry is]
 * The guy that does every job in this town.
 * Ohhh. Barry!
 * I always thought he was called "Harry."
 * Wait. Mary is a man?
 * [Sighs and facepalms] I think this man deserves an apology. [Dials pizza phone number]
 * (through phone): Welcome to Fervidus Pizza. Unfortunately we cannot take your call right now, because…[Angry] Er-because I can't take it anymore! I have only one thing left to say to you, Elmore! [Normal] Try our family deals for five dollars, ninety-nine. [Despairing] Goodbye Elmore! I quit. [Hang up phone]
 * We're never gonna get our pizza!
 * No, this is really bad! This town doesn't function without Larry.
 * Let's not panic. How bad can things get in fifteen minutes?
 * Okay, I think we'd better apologize to Larry.
 * (through phone): Welcome to Fervidus Pizza. Unfortunately we cannot take your call right now, because…[Angry] Er-because I can't take it anymore! I have only one thing left to say to you, Elmore! [Normal] Try our family deals for five dollars, ninety-nine. [Despairing] Goodbye Elmore! I quit. [Hang up phone]
 * We're never gonna get our pizza!
 * No, this is really bad! This town doesn't function without Larry.
 * Let's not panic. How bad can things get in fifteen minutes?
 * Okay, I think we'd better apologize to Larry.
 * Okay, I think we'd better apologize to Larry.
 * Okay, I think we'd better apologize to Larry.

Elmore-pocalypse

 * Someone's siphoned down all of our gas!
 * I think they took a little more than that.
 * Well, I-I guess we'll just have to…um…
 * How can things get this bad?
 * This is what happens when Larry's on strike!
 * Wait! Think for a second. Stealing TVs in the middle of the apocalypse? Can't you see how wrong and stupid this is?
 * Yeah, you're right! There's no TV signal! [Steals more equipment] Thanks kid.
 * : [Cuffs Sal] I'll have that [Grabs TV] Thank you very much.
 * What! Aren't you supposed to fight crime?
 * : Larry also worked as the police force accountant. I haven't been paid, so goshdarn you all!
 * Dad, what're you doing?
 * I'm getting provisions for our life in the broken world. You'll thank me when you're sleeping in your comfy canoe. [Grabs a canoe and a mattress]
 * Can't we just sleep on the mattress?
 * Don't worry! That's our emergency raft in case the town floods.
 * Oh come on! We don't have time for this. We have to find Larry before things get worse.
 * How can they get any worse?
 * How about a plague of locusts?
 * A whaaaa?
 * [Panicking] Locusts!
 * This is turning apocalyptic!
 * No. It's just that Larry was in charge of pest control. [Notices something] Guys, it's Principal Brown! I think he might be hurt!
 * Principal Brown? Are you alive?
 * Principal Brown?
 * No Darwin! It's an ambush!
 * I am no longer Principal Brown. I am the eagle of the rooooost!
 * AH! What do you want!
 * This is our territory, and you are now our prey.
 * What? Are you planning to eat us?
 * Yes, I ran out of tofu and soy milk. So you guys aren't on any antibiotics, are you? If I have to eat meat, I want it to be organic.
 * [Gasps]
 * Are you serious!?
 * I'm sorry. But it's survival of the fittest.
 * Good. Then you won't mind me doing this.
 * Hey!
 * HUH?
 * YEAH!
 * AH! What do you want!
 * This is our territory, and you are now our prey.
 * What? Are you planning to eat us?
 * Yes, I ran out of tofu and soy milk. So you guys aren't on any antibiotics, are you? If I have to eat meat, I want it to be organic.
 * [Gasps]
 * Are you serious!?
 * I'm sorry. But it's survival of the fittest.
 * Good. Then you won't mind me doing this.
 * Hey!
 * HUH?
 * YEAH!
 * Hey!
 * HUH?
 * YEAH!
 * YEAH!

Apologies

 * Why are you guys here? And why are you dressed like that?
 * Because, it's the apocalypse and because…well, it-it's the apocalypse.
 * Society collapsed as soon as you resigned.
 * But that was only twenty minutes ago.
 * Yeah, and that's all the time it took for us to realize our mistake. We needed to be reminded of how precious you are. So this is for you, Gary.
 * A hundred-dollar bill? Thank you.
 * Yeah. Don't get too excited. Without you, there is no business and since nothing was being bought, which ruined the economy and forced up inflation, this one-hundred dollar bill can probably just about get you a rat burger, or a kick in the teeth.
 * Still, it came from the heart. But in that case, this pizza now costs nine-thousand dollars.
 * Do you mind if I write you a roadkill cheque?
 * Sure! We now also accept payment in uranium, antibiotics, and melee weapons.
 * [Hands over a cheque]
 * And here's your tip.
 * Sure! We now also accept payment in uranium, antibiotics, and melee weapons.
 * [Hands over a cheque]
 * And here's your tip.