Safety Training

Dwight: Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday... for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.

Darryl: We do safety training every year...or after an accident...We've never made it a full year - this particular time, I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, when one office worker - who, shall...remain nameless - kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled...

Michael: "Hey, Darrell, how's it hangin'?"

Darryl: ...And I fell and busted my ankle...I'm legitimately scared for my workers.

Pam: Jim wins!

Kevin: That is not fair - he has spent hours up here at reception, with you - hours and hours!

Karen: I don't know this place as well as I thought I did - I'm getting cleaned out!

Michael: My life!

Dwight: Michael - what's wrong?

Michael: Everything - the stress...of my modern office...has caused me to go into a depression!

Dwight: "Depression"? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?

Michael: Dwight, you ignorant slut!

Michael: My life!

Dwight: Michael - what's wrong?

Michael: Everything is wrong, Dwight - the stress of my modern office...has made me depressed!

Dwight: "Depressed"? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?

Michael: Dwight, you ignorant slut!

Jim: Well, you know - the first performance was a little off...but I really think they hit their stride in the second show...might even bring my parents tomorrow, to the...matinee.

Pam: Oh, God...oh my God, he's gonna jump!

Jim: Oh...he's going to kill himself pretending to kill himself!