Home Visit! (And Homes Not Visited)

(After a rainy day, Kanna and Saikawa are walking home from school. Saikawa moves ahead and starts walking backwards, facing Kanna)

Saikawa: Hey, so um, Kanna. Do you wanna come play with me at my house?

Kanna: ...you want me to play at your house?

Saikawa: Mm-hm! Mm-hm!

Kanna: Will it be fun?

Saikawa: 🙋 Are you kidding me? We have tons of games and all the toys and snacks, oh yeah, we have a maid too!

Kanna: A maid...?

Saikawa: Yeah, you can bring your maid with you if you wanted to! You know, the one who played dodgeball with us? After I told my maid about it, she said she would really love to meet her! She wants to talk maid shops and that kind of stuff. So, does that sound okay to you?

Kanna: Yeah, sure.

Saikawa: 😍 Uwaaa-hahahaha-hah!

(Intro)

(Soon, Kanna brings Kobayashi and Tohru to Saikawa's home)

Tohru: This is it? So the loser who dares to challenge my maid-dom lives in this house? ...I'll crush her.

Kobayashi: Sorry, why am I here too?

Kanna: Because you're the one who knows the most about maids.

(The door opens)

Saikawa: 😄 Hello, and welcome to my lovely home! I see you brought your maid. And your... uh...

Kanna: This is Kobayashi, she's my guardian.

(Saikawa bows)

Saikawa: Oh, very nice to meet you, Kanna's mother.

Kobayashi: 😰 What?! (to Tohru) Do I look old enough to be her mom?

Tohru: Don't worry, Miss Kobayashi. After all, if you were my age you'd be old enough to be every human's mom!

(Another female is walking down the stairs to join Saikawa. Tohru notices)

???: Young lady, I believe introductions are due.

Saikawa: I-if you say so. Introducing our, um, our family's maid!

???: Pleasure to meet you. My name is Georgie, and I'm proud to serve this wonderful family.

(While Kobayashi struggles to speak...)

Tohru: What's that outfit about, Georgie? You don't look like much of a maid to me. Where's the basic black and white?

(Kobayashi adjusts her glasses, and gestures grandly with her arms during her next line)

Kobayashi: No. There's actually not a set uniform for the maids in this world. Unfortunately, as the role of servant grew larger and more formal over long periods of history, their outfits evolved into what is commonly thought of today.

Georgie: Thank you. This maid outfit is a simple one, created with the wages of a girl who's recently entered the service. I am humbled, you have a discerning eye.

Kobayashi: You mean...

Georgie: That's right, we are...

(Georgie and Kobayashi clasp hands)

Georgie and Kobayashi: Allies!

Tohru: 😲 Hu-u-u-u-h?

(Tohru flails her right arm about)

Tohru: Please, Miss Kobayashi, you can't let yourself be influenced by this maid and her ugly outfit!

Georgie: Oh, yes. You must be Tohru. I've heard rumors about you in the shopping district. Well honestly, I've wanted to discuss maids and, well, anything with you for a while now!

Kobayashi: We're so ready!

(Kobayashi grabs Tohru's arm, to the latter's surprise)

Georgie: Please, come this way!

(As Kobayashi rushes up the stairs...)

Tohru: 💭🤩 Oh, God...! This is the first time Miss Kobayashi's pulled me along with such passion!

(The door to Georgie's room slams shut)

Saikawa: ...okay, so um, you wanna play at my room, Kanna?

Kanna: Mmhm.

(The door to Saikawa's room slams shut. Kanna plops herself on the bed)

Saikawa: Mm... so what should we play, any ideas?

Kanna: What is that game?

(Kanna looks over at a board game on the table)

Saikawa: Oh, yeah. This is Twister. It's a kid's game.

(As Saikawa lays the Twister mat on the floor)

Kanna: I wanna try it.

Saikawa: Sounds good to me, let's give her a go!

[audio]: Player 1, Left Hand Yellow.

Saikawa: You just gotta follow the instructions, so I put my left hand on yellow.

[audio]: Player 2, Right Hand Blue.

Saikawa: You do player two, Kanna.

(Kanna puts her right hand on the blue tile opposite Saikawa's left hand, catching her by surprise)

[audio]: Player 1, Left Foot Red.

Saikawa: Oh, red. Here I go.

(From this point, Kanna and Saikawa are not presumed to be following the instructions in order)

[audio]: Player 2, Right Hand Blue.

Kanna: Blue.

[audio]: Left Foot Red.

Saikawa: Okay.

[audio]: Left Foot-

Kanna: Green.

Saikawa: 💭 Aaahh... Kanna's so, so, soft...!

(After a few Twister rounds, Saikawa falls on the mat, too steamed up to continue. She breathes heavily)

Kanna: I'd like to play a video game.

(Saikawa gets up and looks in a box)

Saikawa: Yes, totally, I have a ton of those!

Kanna: A fun one, please.

Saikawa: Sure thing, a fun one!

(Meanwhile, in Georgie's room, Georgie serves Kobayashi some tea while Tohru sits on the bed looking glum)

Kobayashi: Mmm, smells so good! Is it a first flush?

Georgie: Impressive. Interestingly, I've recently acquired some first flush Darjeeling.

Tohru: Yes, I've heard about that! It's a good fresh tea, right? You see, there are a few things I know too.

(But Kobayashi stares at the tea cup and plate)

Kobayashi: Wow, this is beautiful. Must be antique! From the Victorian era, obviously.

Georgie: Can you believe I picked it up at a flea market?

Kobayashi: Georgie, mind if I asked what made you such a fan of maids?

Tohru: 😯

Georgie: It was a children's book I read that told the story of a young girl becoming a maid.

Kobayashi: I know that book, I read it too!

Tohru: 🙁

Georgie: Really, you did, Kobayashi?

Kobayashi: They were professionals entrusted with taking care of the home.

Georgie: The pride they had along with such dignified character moved me on a different level!

Kobayashi: What about all those costume changes?

Georgie: Loved them, and loved how they had to pay attention to their appearance, even when they were working!

Kobayashi: Oh my god, I died over their posture!

(Back in Saikawa's room)

Saikawa: How about this game?

Kanna: Sure.

Saikawa: Oh-

(Saikawa loads up the Vegetable Racer game)

Saikawa: Here you go!

Kanna: You sit there.

Saikawa: What?

(Saikawa kneels on the cushion)

Saikawa: Right here? Wait, um-

(Kanna sits on Saikawa's lap, to the latter's surprise)

Kanna: It's perfect. You're comfortable, thanks.

(Saikawa suddenly hugs around Kanna's neck)

Saikawa: 😍 Yes! You're welcome.

Kanna: Saikawa, I can't breathe.

Saikawa: Oh, I'm sorry! I couldn't help myself!

Kanna: ...hey, I have a question.

Saikawa: Okay...?

Kanna: Do you think I'm getting along with the kids in our class?

Saikawa: Well, of course you are! You can do everything and everyone praises you because of it!

Kanna: I guess it just feels different to me. I can't explain this well, but I want what Kobayashi and Tohru have. It's special, and I like that.

Saikawa: (sighs) Listen, Kanna. I think you know by now that I like you a lot. But I wanna be even closer to you than this. Like married. Oh gosh, I said it!

(As Saikawa rests on Kanna's head, Kanna suddenly turns around...)

Kanna: Fine.

Saikawa: Uh-

(..and pins Saikawa to the floor like a dominatrix)

Kanna: I'm fine with that kind of close. Ready?

Saikawa: Um... Yeah, but first, I need to prepare my heart!

Kanna: Saikawa...

(Tohru suddenly bursts in)

Tohru: 😖 No, no...!

(And is being restrained by "zombies" Georgie and Kobayashi)

Kobayashi: Don't run.

Georgie: Trying to escape our maid conversation?

Kobayashi: Ha ha ha ha.

Tohru: 🥺 Save me, Kanna.

(Kanna gets up)

Saikawa: Uh...?!

(Saikawa remains on the floor as Kanna addresses Georgie. Later, Tohru, Kanna and Kobayashi are returning home)

Kobayashi: So Georgie is Saikawa's older sister, then. Huh, I wonder if Georgie's her real name or just what she uses when she's dressed up like a maid.

Tohru: She wasn't actually a maid, merely a maid fanatic.

(Later that night, Saikawa lies on her bed in her room)

Saikawa: I'm confused... So confused... What was Kanna gonna do to me earlier?

(At the Kobayashi household, Kanna opens her mouth but we only hear her say...)

Kanna: ...dragon style.

(The next day, the weather's not so good)

Kobayashi: Ugh... will it ever stop raining?

(Tohru suddenly slides the balcony door open)

Tohru: Say no more! Aaa-

(Tohru prepares to fire a beam into the clouds)

Kobayashi: Please don't do that!

(The day after, it stops raining anyway. The Kobayashi household welcomes a familiar guest)

Kobayashi: Hold up, you mean you also decided to move from your world to this one?

Lucoa: Mm-hm.

Kobayashi: But why would you do that?

Lucoa: Well, lately I've been hanging out with you guys more regularly, and travel can be such a beast, you know. I dunno, I guess I just like being closer.

Kobayashi: What, closer?

Lucoa: Yeah, I'm staying at someone's house not too far away, just like Tohru's doing with you. Hey, do you maybe wanna swing by and see it?

Kobayashi: As long as it's okay, yes. Definitely.

Lucoa: Great, you can help with the misunderstanding.

Kobayashi: The what?

Lucoa: So funny. But our silly little mixup is partly why I thought staying in this world would be a good idea. It all started one day when I was on my way home from here, mostly minding my own business.

(Flashback to a previous night, in which Lucoa looks around)

Lucoa: Hey, it feels like someone is performing a ritual nearby. What? A kiddo?

(Lucoa casts her spell in response, opening up a portal)

Lucoa: Might as well!

(Lucoa leaps up into the portal, and through a cauldron overseen by a young purple-haired spellcaster, who cries out in shock. End flashback, as Lucoa leads Tohru and Kobayashi to "her" new home)

Tohru: So you seriously let yourself get summoned by a ritual performed by a curious child? And then you said, "Sure, I'll be your servant, kid!"

Lucoa: Don't be so judgy! Besides, his family is apparently part of a long line of mages, so it could all wind up for the best.

Kobayashi: Mind clarifying the misunderstanding that needs clearing up?

Lucoa: Yeah, so he got it into his head that I'm a demon. I was hoping you would be willing to talk some sense into him and make my life easier.

(After a while)

Lucoa: Yay, we're here, guys! Welcome to Shouta's house.

(Pronounced "Show-tuh". Lucoa leads Tohru and Kobayashi past the living room)

Lucoa: Well, come on in!

Kobayashi: Uh, sure it's okay?

Lucoa: No one's at home now, I swear, you're so paranoid. Just follow me, I'm crashing in one of the rooms upstairs so we can chill out in there.

(After Tohru and Kobayashi take off their shoes)

Lucoa: You want some tea? I'd offer something else but I don't have that.

Kobayashi: Hey...

Lucoa: Yeah?

Kobayashi: I wanna ask something but I'm afraid it might sound rude.

Lucoa: Hm?

Kobayashi: What the hell are you, Lucoa?

Lucoa: Yeah, sounds rude.

Kobayashi: Sorry, it's just I thought you were a dragon like Tohru but now I'm thinking that might not be the case.

Lucoa: 😉 My bad. Talk about rude, I didn't tell you! I don't have a category per se, but I guess you could call me an ex-goddess, yeah, I like ex-goddess.

Kobayashi: Why ex?

Tohru: Because she was served that cursed liquor and when she was drunk she-

(Lucoa covers Tohru's mouth)

Lucoa: Yah-ha-ha-ha-ah!

Kobayashi: ...oh yeah, you've mentioned that before.

Tohru: Long story short, she was forced out of being a goddess.

Kobayashi: Then you might as well be a demon.

Lucoa: Well, I'm still responsible for spreading civilization far and wide, so it's hard to call myself a demon, plus I'm like a really good being, so... I prefer ex-goddess, or feathered serpent. Or Venusian, even!

Kobayashi: Okay, ex-goddess is gonna work for me too.

(Someone opens the front door)

Kobayashi: Oh, sounds like someone's home now.

Lucoa: It's Shouta. He's the one who summoned me.

(Lucoa projects a vision of the front door. Kobayashi and Tohru see Shouta)

Tohru: For a kid, seems super fidgety.

Lucoa: Right? He's always like that when I'm home.

Kobayashi: Well, when he's with an older woman whose body is an agitator of lust, it's gotta be kinda unsettling.

(Lucoa shuts off the vision)

Lucoa: I know, and that's why I've tried to study his nerves! I've snuggled with him, I've taken more baths with him, but none of it seems to work!

Kobayashi: Ugh...

(The door to Lucoa's room opens)

Shouta: Ah...! She invited people.

Lucoa: Welcome home, Shouta-baby.

Shouta: 👉 Bad demon! I know you know a familiar can't act on their own! You're gathering allies...! Are you planning to take over our home because no, ma'am!

Kobayashi: Fancy... he really wants to be the strong guy.

Lucoa: I know, he's adorable!

Shouta: Mmh...

(Lucoa kneels in front of Shouta)

Lucoa: Sorry, can you forgive me?

Shouta: Mmh...! Yes, as long as you behave!

(Shouta turns around, embarrassed)

Lucoa: Look, I get it's scary to have people at your house you don't know, but I invited them here to help you understand me better.

Shouta: Uh... whad'you mean?

Lucoa: I want you to know, I'm not a demon, I'm a dragon, isn't that fun?

Shouta: Stop lying, I used a demon summoning circle!

Lucoa: Which I noticed and thought might be a little dangerous for someone your age, so before a mean old demon could show up, I decided to answer the call first!

Shouta: What? No way. I-I don't have enough magical power to summon a dragon yet. Ah... No, you're just bluffing to make yourself seem more powerful and trustworthy! 👉 Bad demon! You won't fool me!

Lucoa: Literally does this every time I try, it's so cute!

Kobayashi: Womb-crippling.

Tohru: Hey, Shouta?

Shouta: Yes?

Tohru: I've heard about how you're from a family of mages, so, why perform a summoning ritual?

Shouta: Um... 🙁 it's cause, I wanted to be accepted now, to be a full-grown mage. ...Mages live pretty quietly here, but we maintain our power from when we return to our world. My father's been in charge of that all by himself. He's working hard to pass down his knowledge and strength to me but it seems like he's taking forever. I just wanna be better faster.

Kobayashi: Ah... so you summoned Lucoa in order to prove that you have your own power because of daddy issues... Wow. Kind of makes me feel bad for Lucoa.

Shouta: Uh...! I-I never thought about it like that.

Lucoa: Hm?

Kobayashi: Let's say she was a demon, sure would suck to be summoned for no reason and what exactly were you planning to do after she materialized in front of you, take her along to elementary school? Why would any demon stay with you?

Shouta: You're right, everything you say is the truth!

Lucoa: For real?

Shouta: She's right, Lucoa, and I'm sorry.

Lucoa: 😰💭 Wait, does this mean he's gonna want me to leave?! 💬 Please don't send me away, I don't wanna go home!

Shouta: ...do you wanna stay?

Tohru: But you can't just stay at someone's house and do nothing in return, Lucoa. I mean, take a look at me and Miss Kobayashi. I'm working as a splendid maid to help her.

Kobayashi: Uh... splendid?

Tohru: Don't be mean!

Shouta: My mom takes care of all the housework and stuff like that.

Lucoa: Huh... in other words, what you're saying is that I need to do something specific for Shouta if I wanna live in his house. ☝️ How would you feel about me giving you more gold than you could ever use?

Shouta: I don't need it because my dad is really good at alchemy.

Lucoa: Does agricultural technology sound like fun?

Shouta: No way, I don't wanna be a farmer.

Lucoa: Everyone could use some crazy, strong charisma, am I right?

Shouta: I think that could just cause more problems than it's worth.

Lucoa: How about vast, magical powers, then?

Shouta: Hm... now that one is kind of appealing.

Lucoa: Consider it settled!

Shouta: But no thanks.

Lucoa: No?! But why...?!

Shouta: I don't believe there's a point in having vast power if you haven't worked hard to earn it for yourself.

Lucoa: Wha...?!

(Lucoa slumps forwards in dejection)

Kobayashi: Gotta admire the integrity.

Tohru: Lucoa, doesn't look like you're gonna be any help to him.

(Lucoa opens her eyes and gets serious, towering over Shouta)

Lucoa: There's one more thing, and it's all I have left.

(Lucoa pins Shouta against the door with...)

Shouta: Aahh...

Lucoa: My body.

Shouta: Ah... I knew it, you're a demonic succubus...!

(Shouta leaves through the door he was pinned against)

Lucoa: What? Oh no...

Tohru: 😑 Yeah, he basically tied you round the noose with that one.

(Later, Kobayashi and Tohru walk home)

Kobayashi: That was awesome. It's nice to see Lucoa getting flustered every once in a while.

Tohru: All that effort and she's just gonna be treated like a succubus! Hehe...

Kobayashi: By the way...

Tohru: By the what?

Kobayashi: I noticed something that struck me as unnerving about that house.

Tohru: Oh, really? Do tell. From what I could see it was pretty ordinary.

Kobayashi: It's about who Shouta's father is. I saw some pictures of him around the house. I think he's the director of my company.

Tohru: What? Small world, huh?

(Meanwhile, back at Shouta's house, Lucoa intrudes Shouta at bathtime again)

Shouta: Ah...!

Lucoa: Hey, Shouta!

Shouta: Ah! 😫 Stay back, get outta here, demon!

Lucoa: C'mon, I told you I'm not a demon.

Shouta: Go away, succubus! Bad girl!

Lucoa: Please, just look at me.

Shouta: Don't come near me!

(The next day, it rains again. In the Kobayashi household, Tohru and Kanna are peering at the window)

Tohru: It's still pouring... This must be what rainy season means.

Kobayashi: Let's hang these up.

(Kobayashi hangs three doll-like figures above the window)

Tohru: Hm? What is that...? A ghost?

Kobayashi: A teru teru bozu.

Kanna: Teru teru bozu...?

(Kanna stares at the three dolls hanging from the wall. They are drawn with the faces of Kobayashi, Tohru and Kanna, including with the horns of the latter two)

Tohru: Will something that simple really make the rain stop?

Kobayashi: Eventually, yeah.

(Title screen)

(In the evening, at Kobayashi's workplace, Takiya gets up from his desk)

Takiya: I'm off, Kobayashi. Have a good evening.

Kobayashi: Yeah, same to you. Guess I should head home, too. I'm hungry, anyway.

(At the Kobayashi household, Kanna is drawing something while Tohru prepares dinner)

Tohru: Looks like someone didn't put in overtime today. I gotta admit, I'm happy you came home early!

Kobayashi: I come home when I can. Takiya went home at the regular time too.

Tohru: Stul-toose...

Kobayashi: You know, I haven't heard anything lately from Takiya about Fafnir. I hope they've been getting along okay.

Tohru: Now that you mention it, I haven't seen Fafnir much lately.

Kanna: I saw him today.

Kobayashi: What? Where?

Kanna: On the way home from school. He was in the park jumping in circles over and over. He was mumbling something too.

Tohru: That cursed dragon, what on earth could he be up to? Jeez...

Kobayashi: Yeah, no way that's innocent.

(At Takiya's home)

Takiya: What do kids do?!

Fafnir: They rule.

Takiya: Citizens?!

Fafnir: They suck.

Takiya: Nyami-nyami!

Fafnir: Rules.

Takiya: Kaboom!

(Fafnir "jumps in circles")

Fafnir: Kaboom.

Takiya: ...nice! You're really nailing this! You've improved so much, Faf-kun!

Fafnir: That's great, but who's Faf-kun?

Takiya: Not you if you don't want it to be, my apologies, Fafnir!

(A while later)

Takiya: How do you feel knowing you're ready for the call-and-respond part of tomorrow's event?

Fafnir: I can now obtain a limited edition item at said event, yes?

Takiya: Indeed.

(A microwave signals "done")

Takiya: We're having curry for dinner tonight.

Fafnir: Mild?

Takiya: As requested.

(After they finish eating their microwaveable curry, Takiya finishes a prayer)

Takiya: Thank you for everything. Let's roll.

(Takiya immediately puts his table away and gets his game controller out just as Fafnir does)

Fafnir: I will not lose.

(during gameplay)

Fafnir: Dammit. Traps.

Takiya: What are you doing? Where'd ya hide?

Fafnir: You idiot. You can't go that way.

Takiya: Boom! Jacka-wacka.

(Fafnir reaches Game Over)

Fafnir: I fainted.

Takiya: Victory's mine anew.

Fafnir: I know.

(Fafnir gets up to wash the plates)

Fafnir: I'll win next time.

Takiya: Bring it on any time, man!

(A while later, both are on computers sitting away from each other)

Takiya: Hey, uh, Fafnir, I got this game I'd like you to try playing for just a little bit.

Fafnir: The one you're selling at Comiket again?

Takiya: Yep, that's the one. I'm about through the 80% mark now.

(Fafnir looks at Takiya's screen)

Fafnir: Where's that?

Takiya: About there, give or take, yeah?

(Fafnir grinds through levels of Takiya's video game)

Fafnir: Can you not add something here?

Takiya: Gotcha. Y'know, I thought this felt slow too.

(Soon, Takiya's back on his desk)

Takiya: I've been wondering, do you know how many hours a day you're logged in roughly?

Fafnir: Somewhere around twenty-one hours.

Takiya: And what level are you at the moment?

Fafnir: Level 280. I've cleared all the limited time events, so I'm free now.

Takiya: Hm, no bad cap to game addiction, huh?

(Fafnir is reading and responding on a chat interface with his Takeshi Ooyama moniker. The respondents, not aware that Fafnir's a dragon, thinks he's good at roleplaying)

Takiya: Oh, right. I got a surprise for ya.

Fafnir: What is it?

Takiya: I grabbed some shampoo conditioner on my way home from work for ya.

Fafnir: And that will help me with my hair?

Takiya: It should, yeah.

(Fafnir takes some time in Takiya's shower, before then returning to play online)

Takiya: You shooting for another all-nighter? Wish I could, but I gotta sleep. Good night, Fafnir. Stay strong, man.

(The next morning)

Takiya: Morning, Fafnir. I knew you could do it.

(As Takiya makes the morning meal)

Takiya: We're having natto for breakfast, okay?

Fafnir: Is it mild?

Takiya: Sure, why not?

(Meanwhile, Kobayashi, Tohru and Kanna are out shopping, having brought their umbrellas. Kanna skips on the spot while holding hers)

Kanna: Rain, rain, rain. Rain, rain, rain...

Tohru: I can't not love how happy Kanna is about her new umbrella!

Kobayashi: Mmhm.

(Tohru puts away her umbrella and sneaks underneath Kobayashi's)

Kobayashi: What are you doing?

Tohru: You really don't know, Miss Kobayashi? This is called sharing a lover's umbrella.

Kobayashi: I know that's what you think it is, but you have your own umbrella.

Tohru: 😊 M-hmhm! Yes, but I prefer yours!

Kobayashi: Hmmh...

(As Kanna looks at a snail on a leaf, Tohru suddenly sees Fafnir on the other side of the road)

Tohru: Uh...

Kobayashi: Hm?

(Kobayashi gasps. Takiya is with Fafnir too)

Kobayashi: 🙂 Good, seems they're getting along okay.

Tohru: I shouldn't say this after recommending him, but Mr Takiya's incredible! Being able to live with Fafnir is no easy feat.

(As Fafnir waits for Takiya outside a Comic Game shop)

Fafnir: 💭 Humans are either hits or misses. The misses make themselves known quickly, but it takes time to know if you've found a hit. Spending that much time on every person would be too aggravating. As far as I'm concerned, the misses that trespass on my home to steal my treasure are my favourite humans.

(Takiya meets up with Fafnir again)

Takiya: Why did you wait outside?

Fafnir: 💭 And yet...

Takiya: I can't wait for today's event, can you, Faf-kun? Uh...

(Fafnir puts his umbrella up)

Fafnir: I don't mind. You're a hit, Takiya.

Takiya: I am?

Fafnir: Hurry up.

(Takiya puts up his umbrella and follows Fafnir)

Takiya: Right behind ya!

(Kobayashi, Tohru and Kanna return home)

Tohru: Our teru teru bozu ghosts aren't working at all.

Kobayashi: 😑 Nope. Rain rain go away...

Kanna: I love rain. I love it so much.

Tohru: Uhh...

Kobayashi: Yeah, you're right. Rain's not all that bad.

Tohru: 😊

(credits)

(The next episode...)

Shouta: Lucoa, you're forbidden from approaching me naked from now on, that's an order!

Lucoa: But my clothes are my scales, I'm always naked. I'm naked right this minute.

Shouta: What? No! Bad demon! Agh...