What Goes Around

Scene I: Central Park Zoo - Closing Time
''Fade in to the Central Park Zoo in the early evening. Alice is eagerly looking at the Bell tower. The clock strikes six.''

Alice: YEEESSS!!! (shoving visitors out) Closing time, let's go! Come on, move it or lose it! (takes a man's ice cream) Whoops! Lost it.

At the Penguin Habitat, the penguins are waving to the leaving visitors.

Skipper: Ah, closing time. Are there two sweeter words known to man or beast?

Private: Puppy love?

Rico: Ka...boom?

Kowalski: Plutonium-fueled DNAmutatingnature-abominating-monstermaker!

The penguins stare at him, confused.

Rico: Uh...

Kowalski: The first word was hyphenated!

Skipper: Yeah, great, all good. But I'm sticking with...

Girl: (offscreen) My dolly!

''Before Skipper can finish, the girl screams out. Private sniggers at this.''

Private: Skipper?

Skipper: That wasn't me, it was-!

Scene II: Rescue Operation
A lady is dragging her daughter to the exit.

Girl: I lost my dolly! Help!

A doll identical to Rico's Ms Perky sits forlornly on a bench.

Skipper: (off screen) Hot molded plastic!

Cut to the Penguin Habitat.

Skipper: Dolly down! Rescue operation is go! Go! Go!

''The penguins mobilize and load the doll into Rico's mouth. Skipper comes out from behind a trash can, with Rico as a gun. The doll is in Rico's mouth.''

Skipper: (aiming) Target acquired.

''He fires, ejecting the doll from Rico's mouth. The doll taps the girl in the back, bouncing off her. It lands dangerously close to a sewer grate. The penguins gasp as the doll tips over into the sewers.''

Girl: (getting dragged out) MY DOOOLLYYYYY!!

Skipper: Kowalski, strike this one from the Skipper's Log.

''Kowalski takes out his clipboard, and dumps the paper into Rico. Rico promptly shreds the paper.''

Scene III: Alice's Office
''The same lady and little girl are talking to Alice in her office. Alice is writing a lost toy report.''

Girl: (crying) And her name...is Princess Pony Princess. And her favorite food is...Sparkle Glitter!(bursts into sobs)

Alice: Glit...ter. Great! And we are gonna do all we can to bring Princess home from the sewer. Mmkay?

Lady: Come on, sweetheart.

''The lady and her daughter walk out. Alice goes up to a file cabinet.''

Alice: Ugh, Lost Toy file.

She opens the cabinet and put the report in, unaware that Skipper is in the drawer.

Alice: Well, I've done all I can do.

She closes the drawer and leaves, Skipper stops it and pops out, report in hand.

Skipper: No little girl will shed a tear on my watch!

Scene IV: Penguin HQ
Skipper, Private, and Kowalski are looking at the report.

Kowalski: Well, the chimps can crack the girl's address, but that dolly could be anywhere in the 6,000 miles of the New York City sewer system.

Skipper: So? We'll have to split up.

Kowalski takes out his abacus set.

Kowalski: Let's see, that's...

He calculates quickly, moving the beads of the abacus around.

Kowalski: ...1,500 miles of sewer each? Wow.

Skipper: Hmm. That is a lot of sewer.

Private: What about a replacement dolly?

Kowalski: We'd need an exact duplicate, and where would we even find her?

''The three hear Rico serenading Ms Perky while brushing her hair behind them. The penguins get an idea and approach Rico, who protectively hugs his doll. He then looks at the other penguins.''

Rico: What?

''Kowalski draws the dress of the lost doll on his notepad. He tears out the page, compares it to Ms Perky and shows it to the penguins.''

Kowalski: Perfect match. All we need is a dress.

Private: I'll get my sewing kit.

Kowalski: I'll get the glitter glue.

''Kowalski and Private leave. Rico regurgitates a rolling pin and waves it at Skipper ferociously, apparently having got the general idea.''

Skipper: Whoa, hey, it's your call, compadre! Just try to think about that weepy little miss with an empty place in her heart where her dolly used to be.

''Rico hesitates, looks at his doll for a moment, and sadly complies. As Private returns, Rico hands the doll to Skipper.''

Private: Way to go, Rico!

Scene V: Apartment Building
''At an apartment building, a bellhop leers at a girl passing by. While he's distracted, Rico lowers Ms Perky, now complete with new dress. As soon as the bellhop looks behind him, Rico knocks him out cold with the doll. Rico pulls the doll back up and high fives her. Skipper signals for the penguins to go, and they jump down. Rico regurgitates change into the bellhop's hat. Now inside the apartment, the penguins approach a room. Rico is still upset about leaving his 'girlfriend' forever.''

Private: It'll be okay, Rico. It's like my Gran always told me: you do a good deed and good comes back to you.

''Rico kisses his doll and leaves it in front of the door. He starts to leave, but suddenly races back frantically.''

Rico: Wait!

''Skipper and Kowalski drag him away. Skipper races back again and knocks on the door. ''

Girl: (opening it) Hello? Who's...

She sees her doll.

Girl: Princess Pony Princess! (picks it up) Mom! Mom! She came back! (shuts the door) Moooom!!

Penguins: Awww...

The penguins high five one another, Rico is visibly still upset.

Private: Remember, Rico. Good things always come back around.

''Rico perks up and follows the penguins out of the hallway, abeit minus their usual high level of paranoia, which proves unwise. At the security station, cameras have spotted them.''

Guard: Yo, Sally, you seein' this?! Hey, what's the number for animal control?

Scene VI: Alley
The penguins climb down into an alley.

Private: Any warm, fuzzy feelings yet?

Rico regurgitates a firefly.

Rico: Uh-uh.

Private: Well, the universe does still owe you one. I'm sure any minute now.

''Rico trips over something. The penguins look behind them to find a box of sardines. Rico stands up excitedly.''

Skipper: Sardines!

Kowalski: Ooh, econo-sized!

Rico: (hungrily) Fiiish!

Private: (Rico goes up to the box) See? Good things do come around!

''As soon as Rico picks up the box, a string attached to the box is pulled. A shadow falls over the penguins.''

Rico: Huh? Uh oh.

A cage drops on them.

Skipper: What in the name of pickled schnauzers?!

''A red van drives up to the cage containing the penguins. Kowalski sees the van and immediately falls in love with it.''

Kowalski: She's beautiful!

He sees the schematics and it's rainbows and fantasies for Kowalski...until Skipper slaps him, snapping him out of his daze.

Skipper: Kowalski!

The door opens and out steps Officer X.

Officer X: Got a call on a 415-P Disturbance. Penguins involved. Now, how'd I know it'd be you punks?

Private: It's Officer X!

Rico gasps.

Kowalski: The deranged animal control supercop!

Officer X: (approaching the cage) You birds are a loong way from the zoo. (takes out a sharp hook) That's awfully unsafe, considering what time it is.

Kowalski shrugs.

Kowalski: 7:30, maybe?

Officer X: Payback time!

Kowalski: Oh, payback! Hey, that makes much more...

''Officer X raises the hook. The penguins yell out in fear, only to see him placing the hook on the cage. They sigh in relief, but get pulled closer.''

Officer X: Zoo's not good enough, huh? Well, guess what? Out here, you're stray animals, and that makes you mine!

While he brings the cage closer to the van, Skipper turns to Rico.

Rico: Kaboom?

Skipper: Now more than ever.

''Rico hurriedly regurgitates a stick of dynamite, while Kowalski reaches out and grabs a nearby metal dish. Officer X continues to monologue as he winches the cage to the van, unaware of the events unfolding behind him.''

...to be continued...