A Little Off the Top

Narrator: SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME, THERE HAVE BEEN THOSE AMONG MEN WHO'VE FOUND GREAT STRENGTH IN THE HUMBLEST OF CIRCUMSTANCES. SUCH A MAN WAS THE MIGHTY SAMSON. UNH! BUT THIS STORY ISN'T ABOUT HIM.

Pinky: EGAD, BRAIN, THAT SAMSON IS UNBELIEVABLY STRONG.

HE IS, PINKY. IMAGINE IF A MOUSE WERE THAT STRONG.

ZOUNDS, BRAIN! YOU COULD INDIVIDUALLY BEAT UP EVERYONE ON THE PLANET. YES, BUT THAT WOULD BE EASY. BESIDES, GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE IS BENEATH ME.

THEN WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BOP ME ON THE HEAD, BRAIN?

THAT'S NOT GRATUITOUS. IT'S INVOLUNTARY.

[BAA]

AAH!

DON'T YOU SEE, PINKY? IF I HAD SAMSON'S STRENGTH, NOTHING WOULD STOP MY QUEST TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

EGAD, BRAIN, BRILLIANT! OH, NO. WAIT. WHAT ABOUT IF THE WHOLE CITY CAUGHT ON FIRE AND ANYONE WHO LOOKED TURNED INTO A PILLAR OF SALT?

WELL, MAYBE, BUT BESIDES THAT, NOTHING COULD STOP ME FROM RULING THE WORLD.

RIGHT, BRAIN. OH, WHAT ABOUT A GIANT FLOOD THAT WOULD LAST FOR 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS?

OK, MAYBE, BUT OTHER THAN THAT--

A PLAGUE OF REALLY HORRIBLE BOILS AND FROGS AND LOCUSTS AND ALL SORTS-

ENOUGH, PINKY! LET'S JUST SAY MY ODDS OF TAKING OVER THE WORLD WOULD BE DRAMATICALLY INCREASED IF I HAD THE STRENGTH OF SAMSON. NOW FOLLOW. "A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS!" THE ONLY QUESTION IS, WHAT IS THE SECRET OF SAMSON'S STRENGTH?

UM HIS MUSCLES?

PLEASE, PINKY.

[GERMAN ACCENT, LISP] ACH, THAMSON! DU IST ZO STRONG MIT DA BOOTIFUL HAIREN MIT DER KOPFEN CURLEN.

WHAT, DELILAH?

BRAIN, ISN'T SHE TALKING ABOUT HIS-

QUIET, PINKY. WE MUST LISTEN, OBSERVE, DISCOVER.

SAMSON, YOU ARE THE PRISONER OF THE PHILISTINES. YOU WILL BE MADE TO SERVE DAGON, OUR GIANT PAPIER-MÃCHÃ WEASEL GOD.

I SHALL NOT BE FORSWORN INTO THE HANDS OF MINE ENEMIES!

SAMSON'S OVERACTING! SAMSON'S OVERACTING! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

CHARGE! DESTROY SAMSON.

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-OOF!

THAT'S IT, PINKY. THAT MAGIC JAWBONE MUST BE THE SECRET OF HIS STRENGTH. NOW, WE MUST PROCURE IT FOR OUR OWN.

I, THE GREAT SARAN, CONQUEROR OF THE DANITES, SCOURGE OF CANAAN, DEFEATED BY THE JAWBONE OF AN ASS?

QUICKLY, PINKY. THERE IT IS.

I, WHO HAVE RULED OVER HALF A DOZEN BIBLICAL EPICS, DEFEATED BY THE JAWBONE OF AN ASS?!

NOW, PINKY.

I, WHO WON AN OSCAR FOR ALL ABOUT EVE AND SURVIVED MARRIAGE WITH 2 OUT OF 3 GABOR SISTERS, DEFEATED BY THE JAWBONE OF AN ASS?!

AS SOON AS IT FALLS INTO MY WAITING ARMS, I WILL HAVE THE POWER OF THE JAWBONE OF AN ASS! OOF!

BRAIN? PERHAPS WE NEED A SMALLER-- UHH!

ACH, THAMSON! DER LION IST GEH-LUNCHEN MACHEN!

WHAT?!

[ROAR]

STAND YE BACK, DELILAH, FOR I SHALL SMITE THE BEAST OF THE FIELD AND PROTECT THEE FROM THE CLAWS OF CERTAIN DOOM.

SAMSON'S OVERACTING SAMSON'S OVERACTING

[ROAR]

WHOA-OH-OH-OH.

PINKY, I THINK I'VE DEDUCED THE SECRET OF SAMSON'S STRENGTH.

AHHH! DU BIST DER MUSSELS FROM DE HAIREN IS ZO STRONGEN MACHEN.

BRAIN, POIT! ISN'T SHE TALKING ABOUT HIS--

CLOAK. ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING?

I THINK SO, BRAIN, BUT IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY DOES HE KEEP DOING IT?

NO, PINKY. THE SECRET OF HIS STRENGTH MUST BE HIS ENCHANTED CLOAK. QUICKLY. GRAB THAT STRING. ONCE I HAVE THE STRENGTH OF SAMSON, THEY WILL WRITE MY NAME IN THE BOOK OF JUDGES.

KNIT 1, PURL 2. OR IS THAT PURL 2, KNIT 1? HA! OH, HEH, HERE, BRAIN. I MADE IT JUST FOR YOU. [GASPS]

[MEOW]

EGAD, BRAIN!

COWER, O KING OF THE BEASTS! FOR I HAVE THE STRENGTH OF MANY MEN! UNNHHH! OHH! OW! OW AGAIN! AAH! YOUCH! YAA! YAA! UHH!

NARF! WHAT'S THE VERDICT, BRAIN?

IT WASN'T THE CLOAK.

GET YOUR DELILAH DOLLS! THE COURTESAN OF THE PHILISTINES! GET YOUR DELILAH DOLLS RIGHT HERE!

POIT! OH, BRAIN, BRAIN! CAN I HAVE A DOLL? CAN I, PLEASE?

PLEASE, PINKY, FOCUS. WE'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. BESIDES, YOU HAVE ALL SORTS OF DOLLS YOU NEVER EVEN PLAY WITH.

NARF! IT'S ALWAYS "TAKE OVER THE WORLD" THIS AND "TAKE OVER THE WORLD" THAT! WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS, EH?! WHAT ABOUT-- [WAILING] OOF! OHH.OH, THANKS, BRAIN. POIT! OHH. I NEEDED THAT.

THAMSON, I VANT DAS ORANGES.

WHAT? OH. [CLEARING THROAT] THERE IS NO FRUIT FAIRER THAN MY SUCCULENT PEACH DELILAH. THESE ORANGES MUST WITNESS THY BEAUTY IN SHAME.

JA. DAS IS DER HAIREN VAS IST DU BIGGEN MUSSELS GEBEN.

DID YOU OBSERVE THE WAY HE ADJUSTED HIS RING BEFORE HE LIFTED THAT TREE?

BUT, BRAIN, NARF! I THINK SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HIS--

YOU MUST WOO HIM INTO GIVING UP HIS RING.

RIGHT, BRAIN. I'LL WOO HIM. WOO HIM? WOO? AHH!

GET YOUR DELILAH DOLLS RIGHT HE--OOH,

OH! THAMSON, SVEETIE, DU VOULD BE SO BOOTIFUL MACHEN MIT DER HAIREN SHNIPPEN ALL CREW CUTTEN.

OOF!

WHAT?

UH, WHAT I SAID WAS-- NARF! POIT! EGAD!

DELILAH, WHAT HAS OVERTAKEN THEE? THOU LOOKEST SO PETITE AND SMALL OF STATURE, WHICH IS TINY AS WELL.

OOH. HEH. THANK YOU, SAMSON. I TRY TO STAY TRIM.

MINE EYES. THEY PLAY TRICKS ON ME. TRICKS, I SAY.

NO. IT'S AN OPTICAL ILLUSION. WE'RE REALLY VERY FAR AWAY.

WHO ARE YOU?

ACTUALLY, I'M A MOUSE WHO INTENDS TO PURLOIN YOUR STRENGTH AND USE THAT POWER TO FORCE MY WILL UPON AN UNSUSPECTING WORLD.

WHAT?

I'M DELILAH'S SLAVE.

OH.

MY MISTRESS WILL ENTERTAIN YOU WITH THE EXOTIC DANCE OF THE 7 VEILS WHILE I MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE AND REMOVE YOUR RING.

ACTUALLY, BRAIN, I'VE ONLY GOT 6 VEILS AND A HANDKERCHIEF.

IMPROVISE.

[BLOWING]

I'VE GOT THE RING, PINKY. COME ON.

BUT WAIT. YOU AMUSE ME WITH YOUR DANCE OF THE 6 VEILS AND A HANDKERCHIEF. DO NOT LEAVE ME FORSAKEN WITHOUT LOVE.

AT LAST! I FEEL THE STRENGTH OF SAMSON COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS. I SHALL STOP THIS CART WITH BUT A SINGLE-- OOF!

VERDICT?

NOT THE RING, EITHER. UHH!

AT LAST! I VILL MACHEN DER THAMSON'S HAIREN GESCHNIPPETY-SCHNIP.

I MUST FACE THE FACTS, PINKY. I'LL NEVER HAVE THE STRENGTH OF SAMSON.

NARF! WELL, AT LEAST YOU CAN LOOK LIKE HIM.

HMMPH! A LOT OF GOOD THAT'LL DO ME. DARN! SHOOT! PHOOEY!

THE HAIR, BRAIN. SAMSON'S STRENGTH IS IN HIS HAIR!

YES! HIS-- OOF! IT'S GONE.

OHH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BRAIN. IT WASN'T YOUR SHADE, ANYWAY. I SEE YOU AS MORE OF AN AUTUMN, REALLY.

WELL, NEVER MIND, PINKY. WE MUST GO BACK TO THE APOTHECARY AND PREPARE FOR THE NEXT MILLENNIUM.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO IN THE NEXT MILLENNIUM, BRAIN?

THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY MILLENNIUM, PINKY, TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

THEY'RE DINKY, THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN!