Mice Don't Dance

[Pinky and Brain screaming]

Why did you have to blow on that infernal pocket comb, Pinky?

Well, I thought we should have some lighter-than- a ir music for our lighter- t han-air ship. Zort! [Playing Turkey in the Straw]

Aah!

Ohh!

Unfortunately, the static electricity generated by your lighter-than-Air music ignited the hydrogen in our lighter- t han-air ship, turning it into one big l ighter- t han- a ir lighter!

Poit! Oh, i'm sorry, Brain. Music is supposed to make everyone happy. Look at those people over there.

[Humming tune]

See? Happy! Happy! La la la la la--Aah!

Pinky? Ow! Oof! Oh, my-Yes!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

See, Pinky? Music is dangerous.

Oh, you're wrong, Brain. Shoes are dangerous. Narf! Music is all happy-wappy, fizzy-fuzzy, squishy-wishy, and warm and shiny all over.

Pinky, get a grip. Music puts people into a dangerous trance-like state.

Oh. Well, only if you mean by that that music renders people completely suggestible and lacking in self-control.

That is precisely what I-That's brilliant!

[Telegraph clicking] [Tapping]

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Well, I think so, Brain, but wouldn't anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

No, Pinky. Come. I will tap out a subliminal world domination message in Morse code using a pair of tap dancing steam-powered legs of my own creation.

Ooh! Steam-powered legs! You can press your pants while you wear them.

Sartorial splendor is not my primary concern, Pinky. I have something more ambitious in mind.

Our venue, the 1939 New York World's Fair, where the world will come to see the future, and the future will be yours truly!

Narf!

I give you that marvel of modern technology, your companion of the future: Television.

Ooh!

Brain, maybe someday, there'll be one of those in every home.

Don't be foolish, Pinky. People don't want their radios staring back at them.

P.A.: Welcome to our scale model of the city of the future where freeways will end traffic jams forever.

Look, Brain! Troz! Ha! In the city of the future, I'll be a giant! Mwah ha ha!

But apparently, your mind will retain its current Lilliputian dimensions.

Oh, well.

One can only hope. Come, Pinky. Victory looms imminent. The fair's opening ceremonies commence in precisely 10 minutes. We have but mere moments to remove the one fly from our ointment.

Mmm, yummy! I like ointment. Zort!

Pinky, if you had a mind, it would be a terrible thing to waste.

Whoo-hoo! Ha-ha-ha! Whee! Ha-ha-ha! Hoo-hoo-hoo!

[Ring]

Hello. Bill "Bojangles" Robinson? Greatest tap dancer on the planet?

Some do say so. Who's this?

This is, uh--Ahem-- President Franklin Delano Roosevelt! And I want to have a, uh, fireside chat with you right here on the phone. I'm ordering you to go immediately to Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, and give a goodwill performance to boost military morale.

But, Mr. President, I'm afraid I've got to lead the World's Fair parade in 9 minutes.

You have nothing to fear but fear itself! We'll get a replacement. Your country needs you.

Oh, well. It is Hawaii.

Everything is in place, Pinky. Soon, I shall take over the world using steam-powered legs.

Zort! It's enough to make me want to start wearing pants. Aah!

Prepare all systems, Pinky. I hear world's fair president Grover Weyland And his coterie of officials approaching.

Ooh! I'm tingling all over! Poit!

We must find someone to replace Bojangles. The World of Tomorrow won't wait for yesterday.

You said it, Mr. Weyland!

Ahem! Allow me to introduce myself. [Whispering] Now, Pinky, and be sure to keep the music going no matter what.

[Music playing]

Ooh! Ooh! Aah!

[Music ends]

He's the cat's pajamas! I love it! The technology of tomorrow meets the arts of today! You're hired! I want a total publicity blitz on this guy today. Not tomorrow, or it'll seem like yesterday.

Yes, sir!

Uh, who did you say you are? Right now, today.

Just refer to me as a highly proficient lab mouse poised to take over the world!

That's rich!

A techno marvel with a sense of humor. It makes tomorrow seem like yesterday today. You've got to get to the opening parade before today turns into last week.

Brother, you said a mouthful!

[Tapping]

For some astounding reason, I feel that I should follow his dancing footsteps into the world of tomorrow right now.

Now, you're talkin', Grover!

[Puttin' on the Ritz melody playing]

If you don't know where to be,

Don't fight the urge,

Come on and tap dance here with me,

Undividedly. Yes!

Don't delay,

Come tap with me,

And let them say,

You're gonna see where genius sits:

In the pinnacle of wits.

Folks will never need to beg or borrow.

No, no!

When they live in my world of tomorrow.

No more sorrow!

Step this way,

Life will be sweeter,

Start today,

I'll be your leader, clap your mitts.

In the pinnacle of wits!

[Cheering]

Aaahhh! Uh-Oh. Brain!

Don't bother me now, Pinky.

I nearly have them completely under my steam power. Just keep the music going no matter what.

Poit!

At long last, Pinky! One more burst of steam-driven morse code terpsichore, and the world shall belong to--

Egad!

Huh?

Pinky, where's the music?

Aah! Eek! Troz! Poit!

[Grumbling]

[Inhales] [Playing Turkey in the Straw]

What's going on? This is the music of yesterday today. It's a solid drag!

Narf! Nyaaahhh!

Look, everybody!

All: Conga! 1, 2, 3, 4, conga! 1, 2, 3, 4, conga! 1, 2, 3, 4, conga! 1, 2, 3, 4, conga!

Brain: Aaahhh! Aah! Aah!

I just talked to the real president, and no steam-driving tap dancer's gonna trick me out of my place at the head of this parade! Watch how it's done, hot pants.

You realize what this means, pinky? Hmmmpoit! Um, shirley temple needs a new partner? Yes, pinky.

But it also means we must ready ourselves For the next New York World's Fair in 1964.

Why, brain? What are we going to do at the next World's Fair?

The same thing we do at every world's fair, Pinky. Try to take over the world!

Yay! [Playing Pinky and the Brain theme on comb]

Pinky, lend me your comb. [Crunch]

(scat-singing) They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.