Fredless

Previously on Angel:

Librarian: "Fred disappeared five years ago. They never found her."

Wes: "Cordy's been sucked into the portal. She's in the Host's dimension."

Fred: "They use you as a slave and then your body gives."

Constable: "Fugitive!"

Fred: "Oh no!"

Angel kills the demon Guard Captain.

Fred: "Handsome man - saved me from the monsters."

Fred: "I love tacos. D-do they still have them?"

Wes: "The host reads their souls, senses their futures."

Cordy: "Yes, but he can only do it when they sing Karaoke."

Fred sings "Crazy."

Gunn's old gang comes in and shoots the place up.

Lorne: "Ah! My club! Friends of yours, Gunn?"

Wes is looking past the naked sword blade to the person holding it.

Wes: "You wouldn't dare. - You were just going to toss in a Prothgarian broadsword with a third-century ceremonial Sancteus dagger?"

Cordy turns the sword in her hands to give it a second look.

Cordy: "Hmm. Let's see. Long, metal, pointy. - Yup."

Wes: "Cordy! The purpose of an inventory..."

Gunn: "Yes, give us that (mimics Wes English accent) purpose of an inventory speech - again."

Wes: "This wasn't my idea."

Cordy: "No. Angel - keeps complaining that the weapons cabinet is all different. But, Wesley, who's the boss around here? You - or the guy with the pancreas dagger."

Fred: "What time is it?"

Wes holds up his wrist to Cordy and read his watch.

Cordy: "Six twenty four, and for those of you who are playing the home game: that's exactly three minutes from the last time you asked."

Fred fumbles around with the strange contraption (looks like a hybrid between a suitcase, a crossbow and a sowing machine - or something like that).

Fred: "I'm sorry. I just - I have this theory that the more you are aware of time the more slowly it moves, which *could* make light speed travel possible, but only if you were to concentrate really..."

Cordy: "He'll be back when he's back."

Fred: "So - now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?"

Wes: "Well - *Fred* - that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say - no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also 'nuh-uh.'"

Fred: "But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, because he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sort of thing, why wouldn't it work?"

Cordy: "Let me break it down for you, Fred."

Cordy steps away from the reception counter and pretends to be Buffy.

Cordy: "Oh - Angel! I know that I'm a Slayer and you a vampire - and it would be *impossible* for us to *be* together - *but!*"

Gunn laughs at Cordy's act.

Wes stands up: "But!"

Cordy turns to look at him. Wes pulls his glasses off and lays them to the side.

Wes: "My gypsy curse sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy!"

Cordy: "Yes, Angel?"

Wes: "Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to *brood!*"

Fred watches wide-eyed. Gunn is laughing.

Cordy: "And just because I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends."

Wes grabs a hold of Cordy's wrist.

Cordy: "Oh!"

Wes: "Or possibly more."

Cordy gasps: "Gasp! No! We mustn't."

Wes pulls Cordy close.

Wes: "Kiss me."

Cordy: "Bite me!"

Wes bends Cordy back over his arm and pretends to sink his fangs into her neck.

Angel off screen: "How about you both bite me."

Fred jumps up: "You're back!"

Cordy and Wes see Angel watching them and quickly scurry apart.

Gunn: "How'd it go?"

Angel: "I think those two pretty much summed it up. To be honest - I *really* don't wanna talk about it."

Cordy tugs her mini skirt back in place.

Cordy: "But... ah, Angel - we're your friends. (Gives him a big, friendly smile) and, and it-it's not healthy to repress stuff like *this.* You-you need to share your - pain, express those feelings of grief and longing or... The curiosity is gonna kill me!"

Angel quietly: "Oh, no. Wouldn't want that."

Fred: "Personally, I don't care at all what happened."

Cordy as she walks past Fred: "Shut up, Fred."

Angel quietly: "Actually, you know what I need right now? - Ice cream. (Looks at Fred) You wanna get some ice cream?"

Fred with a big grin: "I like Ice cream!"

She walks over to Angel and they leave the hotel together.

Cordy: "Now we'll never, ever know."

Angel off screen: "That's right."

Angel and Fred are walking along a dimly lit sewer tunnel with Fred holding a big ice cream cone.

Fred: "This has been the best night ever! First there's you taking me to ice cream, then there is the ice cream, then that monster jumps out of the freezer and you're all brave and "Fred, watch out!", and then we get to chase it down into the sewers, which are just so bleak and oppressive and - homey. And, and I could build a condo down here."

Angel: "I'm glad you're having fun."

Fred: "You think maybe the monster just wanted a sugar cone?"

Angel: "I doubt it. Durslar beasts don't usually come above ground like that. They tend to stick to the sewers."

Fred: "Lucky stiffs. They get to lead lives of mysterious sewage while I'm just plain ol' boring ol' Fred."

Angel: "Boring? That's not a word I'd use for you."

Fred: "Fine. Nutty-ol'-goonie-bird-up-in her-room-doin'-nothin'-but-moochin'-off-Angel Fred. I swear I don't know how you all put up with me. I practically need flashcards to understand my (looks past Angel) pretty crystals. Oh, look. They're everywhere."

A dull roaring sounds and Fred jumps back.

Fred: "It wasn't me."

Angel: "Oh, no, no, no. We must be near the Durslar's lair. Why don't you head back on to the hotel. I can take it from here."

Fred: "But shouldn't we call Wesley first and maybe, you know, the army?"

Angel: "Nah. Durslar beasts are pretty Faulknerian. Lotta sound, no fury. Think you can find your way back okay?"

Fred: "I think so. 128 meters back, eastward fork, 207 meters to the southward fork, hang a right, 12 meters in... I'm just being a big nerd again, aren't I? (Angel nods) I'm gonna go now."

Fred heads down the tunnel and Angel turns to walk towards the Durslar's lair.

Fred turning back around: "A-are you sure you're gonna be okay? Because I can stay with you. I really don't mind."

Angel: "I'll be fine."

Fred: "You don't need me. Okay. Bye!"

Fred disappears around the corner then sticks her head out to look back around it.

Fred: "Are you sure?"

Angel with a little laugh: "I'm fine!"

Fred: "Okay. Bye then!"

Finally leaves for good, with Angel watching her go, big smile on his face - not noticing the Durslar coming up behind him.

Intro

Back at the Hyperion Wes, Cordy and Gunn are still busy with the weapons inventory.

Wes: "Three-pronged Scythian death spear, category six. Weapons cabinet, third shelf."

Cordy takes the tagged spear and puts it in the weapons cabinet.

Wes: "You know, back in my days as a rogue demon hunter I once used that very spear to pin down what I thought was a small Rodentius demon - of course the poodle's owners weren't very happy."

Gunn to Cordy: "Would you hurry up and get a vision already?"

Cordy straightens up and backs away from the weapons cabinet.

Cordy: "Ah, gee, Gunn, much as I would *love* to endure another soul-splittingly agonizing psychic invasion for your benef-ow! Ow! Ow!"

Wes and Gunn hurry over to where Cordy is hunching over in pain.

Gunn: "Yes! Yes!"

Cordy: "No! Ow, Fred! Ouch. I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys lying around!"

Cordy walks over to sit on the round settee, rubbing her shin after having bumped in Fred's contraption.

Gunn: "Ooh! Pretty wicked looking toy!"

Wes: "I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device."

Cordy: "Or it makes toast. With her you never know."

Man's voice: "Ah. Excuse me! Ah, is this Angel Investigations?"

The gang looks up to see a middle-aged couple standing on the landing just inside the front doors.

Wes: "Yes. Can we help you?"

Roger: "I sure hope so. I'm Roger, and this is my wife, Trish. Ah, we're sorry to barge in on your... arsenal here, but - we really need to talk to you."

Wes: "Of course. Please, step into my office."

Craning his neck to get another look at the arsenal of weapons on display, Roger ushers his wife down the stairs.

They all enter Wes' office.

Wes: "I'm Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. These are my colleagues, Cordelia Chase and Charles Gunn."

They shake hands.

Wes: "What can we do for you?"

The couple sits down in the chairs in front of Wes' desk as Wes settles in his chair as well.

Trish: "It's our daughter. She's missing."

Cordy: "Oh, no. Kidnapped by evil fiends?"

Trish: "We're not sure."

Wes making notes: "I see. Was your daughter involved in any kind of demon worship?"

Roger: "Of course not!"

Gunn: "Could be a vampire. Hard luck tracking one of those in a city this big, but don't worry. We're detectives. We can find anyone."

Roger: "We already hired a detective."

Wes: "And he couldn't locate her."

Roger: "He said she was staying here - in your hotel."

Trish: "Her name is Winifred Burkle. We call her Fred."

Wes looks up at Gunn and Cordy.

Fred is coming up into the lobby through the basement door, still licking her ice cream cone. She hears voices, glances at the open door to Wes' office. She sees Roger and Trish and runs up the stairs to her room.

Gunn: "Fred's your daughter?"

Trish: "Yes. You know her?"

Roger: "Is she here? Is she alright?"

Wes: "She's fine and - out at the moment - with one of our associates."

Cordy: "Who is not an evil fiend - or a vampire - because they don't exist. In - case you aren't familiar with our LA gumshoe detective slang."

Roger: "But what happened to her? It's been five years -- has she been with y'all this whole time?"

Wes: "No. Ah, we've only known Fred for a few months, really. - You see we found her in..."

Wes looks at Cordy and Gunn.

Cordy: "Ah, a fit of depression."

Trish: "Fred was depressed? (Cordy nods) Over what?"

Cordy looks at Wes.

Wes: "She had recently relocated and was - having trouble adjusting. So, how did you come to find her again?"

Trish: "Oh, about a month ago we got a letter from her in the mail."

Roger: "But she didn't leave her return address. In fact she said she was fine and we shouldn't bother looking for her, but..."

Trish: "Five years of not knowing whether your daughter's alive or... Well, how could we just let it go?"

Roger: "So we hired the private eye."

Gunn: "And he tracked her down through an un-addressed envelope? We could do that."

Angel: "Wait til you guys hear what happened at Haagen Dazs! Ordinarily these things don't put up much of a fight, but this one? Hoo! I think I'm gonna have it..."

Angel walks into the office, carrying the Durslar's severed head. Sees Fred's parents.

Angel: "...mounted. - Hello."

Cordy: "Angel. you're -- alone. And - and you brought ... a prop! From your movie! (to parents) This is Angel. - *Angel* - makes - monster movies. - Angel, these are Fred's very *normal* parents."

Angel puts the head behind his back.

Angel: "Ah. - Fred has parents."

Fred is up in her room, trying to (unsuccessfully) wipe off the writing on the wall using a towel. Looks around the room and grabs the pieces of clothing lying on the nightstand and bed.

Angel smiling: "Well it sure is - nice to meet you both."

Roger: "Ah. Son, you-your prop is dripping."

Angel looks down at the green blood dripping from the severed demon neck.

Angel laughing: "Oh, yeah. This (swings the demon head up by the hair, causing Roger and Trish to duck back) - fake. You know, a little glue, paper machee..."

Angel tosses the head back behind himself without looking into the lobby - where we hear a big crash of glass as it lands.

Angel: "...possibly some lead. So, Fred's parents - we've heard so - much... Well, uhm, sure is nice to meet you folks."

Gunn: "No address anywhere on the envelope?"

Roger: "No. None."

Gunn: "Ah."

Roger to Angel: "Do you know when Fred will be back?"

Angel looks towards Cordy and Gunn, who give him pointed looks in return.

Angel: "Oh, me. Well, yeah, ah, I sent her right back here, right before I... picked up that - prop. So I'm sure she's - up in her room (Trish and Roger smile at each other) - right now."

Fred's parents and the gang survey Fred's room - which is remarkably clean and organized.

Trish: "Fred?"

Roger: "She's not here."

Angel picks up the crumpled ice cream cone wrapper from the floor.

Angel: "No. But she was."

Trish looks at the walls.

Trish: "This - it's her writing. But what does this mean? It's just crazy."

Roger quietly to Trish: "We might have to call them in sooner than we thought."

Cordy is whispering to Wes and Gunn: "Guys - when was the last time Fred ever left the hotel by herself?"

Gunn: "A couple of weeks after never."

Roger: "We want our daughter."

Wes: "So, what is she running from?"

The three of them turn to look at Fred's parents, standing across the room from them.

Fred is hurrying a darkened street, wearing a backpack and looking scared.

Break

The gang is alone in Wesley's office.

Cordy: "There's just something - off about them. I can't put my finger on what."

Wes: "Fred must have returned while we were in here, seen her parents and..."

Angel: "Took off. That's not a good sign."

Gunn: "They said she sent them a letter. Can you picture Fred sneaking off to send a letter?"

Cordy: "Pfft! Sneaking off, right. Fred can barely tie her shoes without Mr. 'oh, you're my big, fat hero!' around."

Angel quietly: "You think I'm fat?"

Wes: "This could be a ruse, to trick us into letting them get close to her. Making it seem as though she'd initiated contact."

Angel: "On the other hand if the letter is real and she told them not to look for her, there's got to be a reason for that."

Cordy: "Fred never talks about her family."

Angel: "So, where do we start?"

Angel looks form one to the other, but they all stay silent.

Angel: "Where would Fred go?"

Gunn: "We could hit all the local taco stands. (Everyone looks at him) Joke! - Kind of."

Angel: "Come on, guys, think! What do we know about Fred?"

Gunn: "Well, I knew about the tacos."

Angel: "All right. She seemed pretty comfortable in the sewers. They're dark, cave-like. She felt safe there. I'll head back down there, see if I can find her."

Wes: "She worked at the Public Library. There may be colleagues there she trusted."

Cordy has been peeking out into the lobby at ma and pa Burkle sitting on the settee, talking quietly to each other.

Cordy: "What about them? We can't just leave them there! (The guys look at each other) What if Fred comes back?"

The Burkle's look up, catching sight of Cordy watching them and Cordy quickly pulls her head back out of sight.

Cordy: "Oh!"

Roger: "Is it time?"

Trish: "Not yet."

The gang follows Wes out of the office into the lobby.

Wes: "Mr. and Mrs. Burkle, we're gonna try a few places we think Fred may have gone. Would you like to come along?"

Roger: "Ah, all six of us? Wouldn't it make more sense to split up, cover more territory?"

Gunn after a beat: "Perhaps."

Angel: "Well, I'm gonna check out some of my, ah, industry contacts. So it'll just be the five of you."

Trish: "Industry contacts? Why would... - Fred's not - 'making movies,' is she?"

Angel: "Movies? Oh, you mean... No! No, no, of course not. It's just some of these contacts they-they know things sometimes. They're, ah, underground."

Wes: "Right. Uh - shall we go?"

The Burkles follow Cordy and Gunn out the door. Angel grabs a hold of Wes' arm as he passes him.

Angel: "Call me if..."

Wes: "Yeah."

Lorne, smoking a cigarette and wearing a white, terry bathrobe, makes his way through a bead curtain to answer the banging on the door.

Lorne: "Oh, figures. Right when Judge Judy is about to lay the smack down. (More banging) I'm coming! I'm not death, you know."

Lorne puts his cigarette into an ashtray sitting on one of the tables in his deserted bar. The table collapses, sending the bottles sitting on top of it crashing to the floor. Lorne doesn't react, just continues to shuffle towards the bar, where he pushes a button that unlocks the door.

Lorne: "Can't you read the sign on the door? Se habla 'closed.' (Fred comes down the steps) Oh, Fred, it's you. The bar is closed. (Turns away) Good seeing you. It's been fun. Bye-bye."

Fred takes a deep breath and launches into "Row, row, row your boat" as she hurries after Lorne.

Lorne: "Ouch! Turn the sirens down a notch, would you? All that fear and panic's blowing out my fuses."

Fred: "I'm sorry. It's just - something awful has happened."

Lorne: "Oh really? (Sweeps a hand out to encompass his club - still as trashed as Gunn's former gang left it) I wonder what that's like."

Fred: "Oh, no. Was there another massacre?"

Lorne: "Oh, no. No. Just the one. But it turns out massacres are a lot like sitting through Godfather three: once is enough."

Fred: "I'm not... I mean, I don't wanna sound... Why is it still like this?"

Lorne: "Ah, Fred, honey, I don't think you're here to discuss interior decorating. Am I wrong?"

Lorne pulls out a chair at an intact table, rights the overturned lamp on it and indicates the chair opposite from his.

Lorne: "Now, what can I do for you?"

Fred sits down: "I - I need cash. I don't wanna talk about it, because I think my head might go a little twang and I'll sing if I have to. (Starts singing) Row, row, row..."

Lorne: "Easy! Easy! Forget the singing, sweetheart. Your aura is practically screaming! - Yeah, you are in a bad place, aren't you doll? - You thought you could outrun them - and maybe you were free. - But those old monsters hunted you down. - I know why you're running away, Fred. You know what your problem is?"

Fred: "I'm not strong enough to stay and face my fear."

Lorne: "No. You haven't run far enough."

Fred just looks at him.

A rat runs along on top of a pipe running along the ceiling of a sewer tunnel.

Angel: 'Fred? - Fred, it's just me! - I'm alone. - Listen - whatever that thing is with your parents? - You know, we can help you. - Fred?"

Two glowing blue eyes peek around a recess behind Angel as he walks on.

Night, Los Angeles Public Library

Trish: "Does Fred come to the library often?"

Cordy: "Uh, well, this was the first place I ever saw her."

Trish: "She used to love our little community library back home. Every afternoon, I'd pick her up there after my rounds."

Cordy: "Oh, a doctor! No wonder Fred's so smart!"

Trish: "I drive a school bus."

Cordy: "Oh. Well, I-I've actually never - ridden in one of those, but I hear they're very nice."

Roger: "What exactly does Fred do for you people? It strikes me a little odd, a physicist working for a detective agency."

Cordy: "Uh, well, Fred's ah... gone through some changes."

Roger: "And whose fault is that?"

Cordy is still thinking when Wes and Gunn walk in.

Wes: "We've swept all the floors. Nothing."

Trish: "Oh!"

Roger: "So. What's next?"

Wes: "Give me one second to confer with my colleagues."

He pulls Cordy away with him and Gunn.

Gunn: "I could have *told* you she wasn't going to be at the library."

Wes: "Then if you know so much about her, Gunn, why don't you just tell us where she is?"

Gunn: "Bet that taco stand's not looking so bad now, is it?"

Cordy: "Hey! Mr. and Mrs. Bickerson, a little focus, please. There is *definitely* something going on with them."

They looks over at the Burkles talking quietly to each other.

Wes: "So, where *do* we go next? - Where would Fred go for help? For guidance?"

Angel is still slowly walking along the sewer looking for Fred.

Angel: "Fred? - Nothing to be afraid of."

Angel jumps as his cell phone rings. He pulls it out of the breast pocket of his coat and opens it.

Angel: "What? - No. You?"

We get a distorted shot of Angel in the sewer tunnel as if seen from above.

Angel lets out a deep breath: "Oh! You mean the place where she would go for help and guidance! (Turns to go back the way he came) And we call ourselves detectives."

We get another distorted shot of Angel walking away.

Angel: "I'll meet you there."

Angel walks past the camera and we see a strange silhouette with blue glowing bug eyes in the tunnel behind him, watching him walk away.

Lorne: "Well, isn't this a lovely surprise."

Cordy: "*He's* surprised. I didn't think he *owned* terry cloth."

Lorne: "Hmm. Such a small entourage tonight. Hey, Gunn, why didn't you bring your other friends? 'cause they make a party."

Gunn looks from Wes to Angel, to Lorne: "Maybe I should wait outside."

Lorne: "You know, I'm - I'm not entirely uncomfortable with that suggestion."

Gunn leaves.

Trish: "What kind of a place is this?"

Lorne: "Oh, do you like it? I was kinda going for a Dresden after the bombing sort of feel."

Roger: "Ah, is this one of your big 'industry contacts?' Some guy in a bathrobe, wearing makeup and fake horns?"

Lorne: "They're not fake! And it's - only a little eyeliner."

Wes: "Lorne, I'd like you to meet Fred's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Burkle. They're here visiting - from the country."

Roger: "Yeah. You have to forgive us hicks. Down in Texas we don't get a lot of guys who wear eyeliner - not for long anyway."

Cordy: "He's just teasing you. He probably just got back from a shoot. He and Angel do monster movies together! Right, Lorne?!"

Lorne: "Ah... No."

Angel walks up to Lorne and pulls him aside.

Angel: "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Trish, leaning against the bar: "Some detectives! You have no idea where our daughter is, do you?"

Cordy and Wes stay quiet.

Roger: "Maybe they do. Maybe they just don't want us to find her."

Angel: "Look, Lorne, I'm sorry about the bar, but right now Fred is missing and we need your help."

Lorne: "Oh, really? Yeah, well, I'm not some mystical vending machine here to spit out answers every time *you* waltz in with a problem. I have a heart. Granted it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart. And that heart is broken! I mean, why is it no one ever cares about *my* destiny? Everyone who walks through that door is all about me, me, me. Well, what about my me? My me's important."

Angel: "You know where she is, don't you?"

Lorne: " A-and another thing, how... how do they get the pimentos in the olives, huh? There's a mystery for you. You know, do they stuff each one by hand, 'cause that seems a little time consuming, or do you think they have a - little - pimento - stuffing - machine ..."

Angel just looks at Lorne.

Lorne sighs: "Fred doesn't want to see her parents. She has reason for that. I mean, why force a showdown if you don't have to?"

Angel: "Because it won't be over. They found her once, they'll do it again. At least this time we can be there to protect her. (Lorne shakes his head a little and looks away) Please. - Tell me where Fred is. - I know you're not a slot machine."

Lorne: "Vending machine, you big palooka. (sighs) Alright, but play this one delicately, bro. Because it's gonna get messy."

Fred is clutching a ticket in her hands as she is sitting on a bench next to an elderly homeless man.

Fred: "I can do this. Sure I can. I can just get right up on that bus and be a whole new person - like origami - or plastic. Move some place I've never been with no money, no friends, no job. Easy as pie. 3.14 159265..."

The homeless guy gets up and moves away.

Fred: "Oh, hey, I was just calculating pi - to relax. I'm not dangerous."

We get a distorted picture of Fred sitting on the bench in the bus terminal as if seen from above (like the one we got of Angel in the sewer earlier).

Fred: "I could go to Vegas. Learn to play Black Jack. Memorize four hundred fifty two consecutive digits of pi a few hundred measly cards are easy."

Through the potted palm fronds behind Fred's bench we can see her parents and the fang gang enter the bus terminal.

Fred: "Nine, ten, Jack. (looks over and sees her parents talking to one of the clerks) Queen, King. No!"

Trish turns and sees Fred getting up from the bench.

Trish: "Fred?"

Fred: "No, you're not here! Go away!"

Trish: "Fred, honey, it's us!"

Fred shakes her head: "No. You're not them. You can't be them, because they don't know."

Roger: "Sweetie, it's mom and dad."

Fred: "Shh! Stop saying that. You *can't* be!"

Trish: "Honey, don't you remember us?"

Fred: "I was - I was five years and so lost and, and at night I would... I was all by myself and you weren't there!"

Fred starts to cry.

Roger: "Fred, I don't understand."

Fred: "I got lost. I got lost, and they did terrible things to me, but, but it was just a storybook. It was just a story with monsters, not real. (keeps shaking her head) Not in the world but - but if you're here and you see me then - then it's real! And it did happen. If you see what they made of me... I - I didn't mean to get so lost!"

Trish also crying takes Fred's face into her hands.

Trish: "Oh, honey, it doesn't matter what they did to you."

Embraces her daughter.

Fred: "Mommy."

Trish: "Oh, we're gonna make it all right."

Fred: "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I got so lost."

Roger: "It don't matter. You're our little girl."

Fred: "I missed you so much. I didn't mean to..."

Trish: "Shh..."

Roger: "Everything's okay now. You'll see. You're safe now."

Suddenly a big insect (like an overgrown hybrid between a spider and a cockroach) drops screeching from the ceiling.

Roger: "Whoa! - Tell me *that's* something from the movies!"

Cordy: "No. That's something that's gonna kill us."

Break.

Angel: "Everybody outside."

Wes: "Angel..."

Angel: "Get them out of here. I can handle this. Move!"

Gunn: "Let's go!"

Angel ducks a stab of the creature's front legs.

The gang and the Burles run out of the doors of the terminal.

Roger: "What the hell is that?"

Cordy: "All our weapons are back at the hotel!"

Gunn: "Angel said he could handle..."

Angel comes flying through the closed doors, smashing them, coming to rest across the street at Gunn's feet.

Gunn: "...it."

The bug follows Angel through the door. Angel turns to look up at it. He's wearing his vamp face.

Gunn: "Maybe there's something in the trunk."

As they run to the car:

Roger: "What happened to his face?"

Wes: "Angel's a vampire. He has a soul, but it's a long story. I'll tell you about it if we don't end up dying."

Wes sees a pile of luggage and changed direction.

Wes: "Cordy! Here."

The bug is still stabbing and slicing at Angel with its pincers. Angel manages to duck most of them before getting swiped off his feet.

Gunn: "Hey! Bug boy!"

Gunn has found a compound sports bow and loosens an arrow. The bug shrieks and goes for the downed Angel again only to have Cordy and Wes attacking it with golf clubs. Gunn grabs a club of his own and joins the fray. The bug manages to knock a club out of someone's hands and it slides across the ground to come to rest in front of Fred.

Angel is back up and slugging as well. The bug manages to send him flying against the wheel of one of the parked busses. As Angel gets back up, the bug stabs him in each shoulder with its pincers, pinning him up against the bus.

Fred hits on the bug from behind with the golf club and it lets go of Angel to turn on Fred.

Angel: "Fred, get out of the..."

Angel pushes Fred out of the way, but the bug still scores on Fred's arm - before getting hit over the head hard with a metal cylinder by Roger.

Roger: "That's my *daughter* you damn cockroach!"

Angel jumps on the bugs back, pinning its forelegs against its body, immobilizing them. Roger helps Fred up.

Roger: "Here, baby. Come on, come on."

Roger leads Fred over to the side.

The bug breaks Angel's grip and shakes him off then turns around and sends him flying through the air to impact with the side of a parked bus.

The bug goes after Angel - only to get splatted by a bus barreling by.

The bus stops and Trish gets out.

Trish: "Did I get it? Did I get it, y'all?"

They are all back in the lobby of the Hyperion. Cordy is doctoring the scratch on Fred's arm.

Trish: "I almost hate to ask, but - you do a lot of bandaging in your line of work?"

Cordy: "Mmm. Occupational hazard. I mean, sure there is the occasional demon who tries to kill us with pillows, but, sadly, those cases are few and far between."

Roger is looking at the Durslar's head. It has some of the same pretty crystals that Fred spotted in the sewer around its lair stuck to its side.

Roger: "How about this guy? Was he a demon?"

Cordy: "I think Angel called it a Durslar beast."

Fred touches the crystals with her finger.

Cordy: "He and Fred tracked it down after it attacked them when they went out for ice cream."

Roger: "You mean you know how to track these things, Fred?"

Fred: "No. Mostly I was just there for the ice cream."

Trish: "I wish he hadn't brought that thing out again. It gives me the willies."

Roger: "Oh, don't be silly Trish. It's just a severed head."

Gunn picks up the head to move it out of Trish's sight.

Gunn: "I got it. The lady makes bug soup with a ten ton bus, but show her a paper-mache head, she gets the willies. Ha. Women."

Gunn sets to head down on the reception counter beside Angel.

Angel: "Uh, Gunn, you *do* know it's not paper-mache?"

Gunn quickly takes his hands off the head.

Gunn: "We still got that bleach in the bathroom?"

Gunn runs for the bathroom.

Angel and Wes watch the Burkles fuss over Fred.

Angel: "I got to say this is not how I pictured this turning out."

Wes: "They look happy, don't they?"

Cordy: "Voila! That's French for 'I think we stopped the bleeding.'"

Fred: "Thanks Cordelia."

Cordy: "Next up: multiple stab wounds. Angel!"

Angel jumps of his stool and hurries over to the settee.

Angel: "Uh, it's my turn. Oh, yay!"

Cordy: "What a dork."

Fred walks over to Wes.

Wes: "How does it feel, Fred?"

Fred: "Like my heart's been put in one of those orange juice squeezers... (Looks down at her arm) Oh. Kind of like a giant bug tried to rip my arm off and Angel saved me."

Trish: "He seems to do *that* a lot, doesn't he?"

Fred: "It's what he does. Angel's the champion, and Wesley's the brains of the operation, Gunn's the muscle and Cordy's the heart, and I'm..."

Roger: "And to think, we were wondering when to call the cops on a bunch of superheroes!"

Angel: "Oh, I'm not really a hero."

Gunn: "More like a bloodsucking fiend."

Angel gives him a look.

Roger: "Frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cows blood, or those froofy, little, imported beers. You saved my little girl."

Angel: "Well, I wouldn't 've had to if she hadn't gone all Amazonian and whacked that thing with a golf club."

Roger: "Well, I tell ya, I hadn't seen a stroke like that since Nicklaus took on Gary Player in the '63..."

Angel and Roger: "Bob Hope Dessert Classic."

They look at each other, laugh and shake hands.

Angel: "Alright!"

Fred: "I wanna go home."

Everyone gets real quiet and looks at her.

Fred: "I'm - I'm just not cut out for this. I mean, if Angel hadn't gotten me out of the way, you'd all be laughing in the morgue right now. - Okay, maybe not laughing, but - the point is, I think I should go home where it's quiet and safe and - monsters don't eat your family. - You're not - disappointed in me, are you?"

Trish: "Oh, Fred. Never! Oh, it's gonna be so good to have you home!"

The Burkles share a family hug.

Gunn: "She probably be happier there."

Wes: "Yeah. That's good."

Fred stands in her room contemplating the writing on the wall. Angel appears in the open door behind her and knocks on it to get her attention.

Fred: "Oh, Angel. Hi. I invite you in."

Angel: "Thanks, but you only have to do that the first time. Once I'm invited..."

Fred: "I know. I just figured since I'm going home now I'm not gonna be inviting you in anywhere. - Unless, of course, you come to Texas."

Angel: "Or if you build that condo in the sewer."

Silence.

Angel: "So how you doing?"

Fred: "Oh, ah - fizzy. - Kinda weird and... fizzy. But excited. - And a little sad. - Thankful. Sorta cautiously happy. Relieved and worried at the same time. Slightly nauseous while still bein', hopeful?"

Angel: "And that about covers it. (Looks at the walls) Are you gonna remember everything that's up there?"

Fred: "Well, sure. It's a story. (They both look at the walls) Once upon a time - there was a girl who lived all alone in a horrible cave - so far from home it made her chest hurt. - And every day in that horrible cave, the girl tried to figure out a way to escape. - None of her plans ever succeeded, of course, - and she'd almost given up hopin' - when one day, just like in a fairy tale - a handsome man rode up on a horse and saved her, - and took her back to his castle. - - Now you'd think that was the end, wouldn'tcha? Dumb old fairy tales and their happily ever afters."

Fred sits down on the edge of her bed and Angel sits down beside her.

Fred: "But see, the minute they got back to the castle, - the handsome man went away again. - And even though she didn't mean to, - didn't want to - high up in that castle the girl just built herself another cave. Hoping he would save her again. (Looks at Angel) But you can't save me *this* time. - Can you?"

Angel remains silent and Fred looks down at her hands.

Roger is talking to Wes and Gunn at reception counter, while Trish and Cordy sit on the settee together.

Trish: " I mean, Rog's always had a thing for those disgusting "Alien" movies with all the slime and teeth. He just can't get enough of 'em. - Except for that last one they made I think he dozed off. - I just can't believe it's all real."

Cordy: "Well, I don't know about aliens, but demons and alternate dimensions I know. It takes a little getting used to."

Trish: "I'm so glad Fred's coming home. This place is too dangerous for her."

Roger and Gunn carry Fred's contraption over to the settee.

Roger: "Hey, honey, would you look at this? Fred *made* this."

Gunn: "Cool, ain't it?"

Wes: " We think it's some sort of mechanized weapon, possibly influenced by the medieval catapult, designed for serious to fatal wounding, if not complete decapitation."

Roger: "Or it makes toast."

Wes: "Or it makes toast."

Trish sees Fred and Angel coming down the stairs.

Trish: "Hey! You got everything packed, baby? What about that shirt with the bug guts on it? You-you threw that out, right? You're not taking it home, right?"

Fred: "I don't know. I kinda thought I'd take it with me - guts and all. You know, as a souvenir."

Roger: "Ah. That's my girl!"

Fred looks at the gang: " You know, in the shower I had all these pretty things I was gonna say and I was gonna be all fancy and... aw, hell. (glancing at parents) I mean heck."

Goes and give Gunn a big hug. Gunn holds on to her tightly for a moment then clears his throat and lets her go.

Fred walks over to Wes. They dance around awkwardly for a moment trying to figure out whose arm will go where before hugging as well.

Fred goes to hug Cordy.

Cordy whispers: "Between you and me, I'm almost a little jealous."

Fred walks over to Angel and the look at each other.

Fred: "Thank you - for everything."

Angel silently hands her the suitcase he carried down the steps for her.

Angel: "Bye Fred."

Fred gives him a smile and turns to her parents.

Fred: "We better go before I get all runny."

The Burkles walks up the steps to the front doors. Fred turns around one last time and waves at them all before the doors close behind them.

The Burkles are sitting together in the back of a Taxi cab.

Roger: "You're room is exactly how you left it. - All except for the guy renting it out, but his lease is up in a month."

Fred: "You rented out my room?"

Roger: "Well, honey, after the forth year... We didn't hear nothing from you!"

Fred: "Daddy, I was kidnapped into an alternate dimension."

The taxi driver kind of turns his head at that.

Trish to driver: "Well, she *was*."

Fred unzips her bag and takes out shirt she wore during the bug fight.

Fred: "I'm just gonna miss 'em, that's..."

She sees that the bug juice as turned into the same pretty crystals that where on the walls down in the sewer and on the demon's head back at the Hyperion.

Fred: "Turn the car around. Now!"

The gang is sprawled out in the chairs of Wes' office.

Cordy: "In a really weird way, you know who I miss?"

Wes: "Fred."

Cordy: "Actually I was gonna say her parents. - Is that wrong."

Angel: "I don't think so. They were very - nice."

Cordy: "Nice? - They weren't just nice, Angel. They were..."

Gunn: "Parents."

Wes: " They loved her. - Supported her. - Didn't grind her down into a - tiny self-conscious nub with their constant berating. Their never ending tirade of debasement, and scorn and..."

Wes trails off as he notices that all of the others are looking at him, makes as if to say something else, but then just stays silent.

Cordy: "At least now Fred's got a shot at a normal life. Not that I don't love you guys, and LA, and my work, but - things are just never normal around here. You know?"

We get a close up of the Durslar's severed head. Something is moving beneath its skin.

Break

Wes: "She was so smart."

Angel: "I'm gonna miss her. She was just this nice, quiet kind of crazy. - I found that - soothing."

Cordy: "And what? I'm not soothing? (Cordy sits up) I can be soothing. I could soothe your ass off, pal."

Gunn: "Plus, she was pretty handy with a five iron."

Gunn and Wes look at each other sharing a laugh.

Cordy: "Right before she almost got killed. Personally, I'm *glad* she's gone. It's gonna be a load off not having to worry about crazy taco lady anymore."

Angel: "She'll come back to visit."

Cordy: "Do you really think she'll come back and visit?"

The Durslar head is bubbling like crazy now and a giant insect looking just like the one from the bus terminal is looking in the window - but the gang doesn't notice either of that.

Cordy: "Well, that's it. I'm not gonna sit around here and mope like you - bunch - of - mopers. I'm gonna go home (She puts on her shoes) Eat some comfort food. (Gets up and starts to walk out) Have a good cry. Crawl under my big, fluffy... (enters the lobby and sees the bug entering the hotel) giant bug!"

Cordy screams and runs back into the office just as the guys come running out.

Gunn: "We hit that thing with a bus. You're telling me a bus won't kill it?"

Angel: "I don't think it's the same one."

Angel is looking out into the garden court which is crawling with giant bugs.

Cordy: "We are so immensely dead."

Wes: "Weapons."

Angel runs and rolls over the counter to engage the bug while the others run for the weapons cabinet.

Weapons in hand Wes turns only to see the bug throwing Angel to the floor.

Wes: "Angel, we.."

The door opens and Fred runs in.

Fred: "Here! I'm here."

Wes: "Fred?"

Fred: "Oh, I'm late!"

Roger helps her to drag her contraption into position.

The bug is still stabbing at the downed Angel. Gunn and Wes raise their weapons trying to block it's pincers.

Angel: "Who's helping me here?"

Fred: "I am!"

She stomps down on her contraption. A battle axe sails through the air and splits the Durslar head like an over ripe melon. Green goop spatters the wall and a bunch of little cockroaches crawl free of it.

The bug leaves off Angel and the gang, instead going to collect the bug filled bottom part of the head.

The bug heads for the garden court. The little bugs follow after it.

Fred and her parents come down the front steps.

Gunn: "So. *Not* a toaster."

Angel: "Fred, how did you..."

Fred: "The crystals. The ones we saw in the sewer? They were on the Durslar head, too. And at first I thought they came from the Durslar, but then I saw *this*. - Daddy?"

Roger hands her the crystal covered shirt.

Fred: "Those crystals are just dried up bug goop. It must have laid its eggs in the Durslar's head, which would explain the Durslar coming up out of the sewer, 'cause, I mean, wouldn't you be a little crazy if you had eggs in your head? I know I would. (Cordy opens her mouth, glances at Angel and closes it again) Anyway, that'd be all fine and Darwinian, except Angel killed the Durslar and brought the head back here, so the Bug had to track him down to get its babies back."

Wes: "And at the bus station, when Trish ran over the mother..."

Fred: "Or father. I think it might be a hive species gender neutral, but I'd have to do some research to back that up."

Wes: "The whole hive showed up in order to reclaim its offspring. (Fred nods) Brilliant deduction, Fred!"

Gunn: "Not to mention, that little axe gadget is tight."

Fred laughing: "That was just a random thought I had. What if you had to do battle with your arms cut off? Sure, you'd hemorrhage to death pretty quick, but at least you could take your enemy with you!"

Angel: "Nice going, Fred."

Fred: "Aw, it was nothing. Just a stunning revelation of my true path in life, that's all."

Roger: "Come again, honey?"

Fred walks over to her parents: "Look - I could go home with you and pretend the last five years didn't happen. - I could even pretend to have a normal life. - But the truth of it is... Well, I'm not normal anymore. (Roger and Trish exchange a look) I guess what I'm getting at is... - I-I missed you both so bad. But - I belong here. (Turns to the gang) Un-unless I don't. Which if- if you all don't wanna put up with me, I completely understand..."

Wes: "Lets put it to a vote, shall we? All in favor say aye. Aye. Motion passed. Good. You're staying."

The gang smile at each other, then turn to smile at Fred.

Fred: "Mamma. - Daddy. This is my life now."

Trish: "We were kinda hoping you wouldn't figure that out."

Roger: "Of course we'd have to sick around for another couple of weeks."

Fred leans against him: "Daddy!"

Roger laughs: "Days. You know, just to catch up and get reacquainted, and to make *sure* that you are positive about your decision."

Fred: "Oh, I think I know where I'll end up."

Hyperion day. Fred and Angel have paint rollers in their hand and are painting over the walls in Fred's room.

Roger: "Now, Spiro Agnew, I *know* he was..."

Angel: "A Grathnar demon! You knew that? I thought I was the only one that knew that!"

Roger: "What else would he be, but a demon?"

Wes comes in carrying another can of paint. Sees Gunn painting the wall.

Wes: "Not horizontally, vertically! Other wise you..."

Gunn: "Look, I'm telling you, if you do it vertically you're gonna get those ugly drops..."

Trish also painting: "Now, boys, I don't wanna hear any fighting over there."

Gunn and Wes: "Okay."

Cordy comes in, carrying two pizza boxes.

Cordy: "Did someone here order a pizza? Hey Fred? Pizza?"

Fred walking to anther part of the wall: "In a minute, I just wanna finish this section."

Fred looks at a line drawing of two people on top of a horse for a moment, then lifts her paint roller and paints over it.