Granny Mayor

Transcript for Granny Mayor
Narrator: Another peaceful high-speed chase down the center of Main Street.

(Scene: Outside the National National Bank. Granny May’s car drives by filled with cash, and with WordGirl in pursuit. WordGirl grabs the bumper of the car and brings it to a stop.)

WordGirl: Give it up, Granny May!

(Huggy gets in the car and faces off against her, but she pulls out her granny perfume and squirts it at him. Then she turns it on WordGirl.)

WordGirl: Ugh! Granny perfume! So… so bad!

Granny May: (cackling as she runs off) So long, WordGirl!

(She runs into the mayor as he is eating a sandwich. The collision knocks him down, and knocks the sandwich out of his hand.)

Mayor: (holding his head) Oh. Hey, my lunch!

(Granny May gets up.)

Granny May: (gasping) That’s your lunch? Oh, you poor boy. What YOU need is a homecooked meal, like some nice chicken soup!

Mayor: My nanna used to make me chicken soup!

(WordGirl and Huggy arrive.)

WordGirl: Hold it right there, Granny May! You’re under arrest for bank robbery!

Granny May: A--rest? Oh, no thank you, I got plenty of sleep last night.

WordGirl: Gah! Don’t pretend like you don’t understand me! I’ve got the money you stole right here! (holds up the bag)

Granny May: Me? Steal money? Well, I never! (moves closer to the mayor) Children these days… now, (talking to the mayor) how about that chicken soup?

WordGirl: Ha-ha! Oh, please. The mayor’s not going to fall for that nice old lady  masquerade !

Mayor: Mmm… chicken soup, my favorite. (He walks off with Granny May.)

WordGirl: Wow. He fell for it.

Narrator: Back at the mayor’s office, Granny May doles out a giant spoonful of tender loving care to her clueless victim.

(Scene: The mayor’s office at City Hall. Granny May is putting a pair of soft bear slippers onto the mayor’s feet.)

Granny May: And here are some nice fuzzy slippers for your wittle feet, and a pillow.

Mayor: Thank you, Granny!

Granny May: It just feels good to help people. Ohh… I wish I could do more.

Mayor: Wh- what do you mean?

Granny May: Funny you should ask! I have a couple of ideas that would really improve life for the fine citizens of this city.

(She shows him a list that she had written up. He takes it and reads from it.)

Mayor: “Replace all police squad cars with roller skates?” Uh, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.

(Granny May starts choking and coughing.)

Granny May: Oh, you know it’s all that terrible car exhaust polluting the air! And makes it tough for an old woman to breathe.

Mayor: Hmm… cutting air pollution is important. Okay, uh, no more police cars. Next… “Cut the sound of burglar alarms by seventy-five percent?”

Granny May: With less noise pollution, people will be much happier.

Mayor: Hard to imagine a happy person robbing a bank!

Granny May: Exactly!

Mayor: Okay, done! And last on the list, “All security guard will only have to work from noon to three”...

Granny May: So they’ll have more time to spend with their nannas, to show how much they  appreciate  them!

Mayor: Huh! Well, uh…

Granny May: Now, how would you like me to knit you a nice little blankie?

Mayor: Just for me?

Granny May: You betcha! Just sign right here…

(She holds up a tray with cookies, a rubber stamp and a pen.)

Granny May: Initial here…

Mayor: Uh-huh…

Granny May: And stamp it here! Wonderful!

(He grabs the cookies and starts eating them.)

Granny May: Now then, one homemade blanket coming up!

Mayor: Ah. You take such good care of me, Granny May.

Granny May: (to herself) Heh-heh-heh-heh.

(Scene: the Botsford house. Becky is working on something at the table, with Bob looking on.)

Becky: I can’t believe the mayor was so easily deceived by Granny’s  masquerade ! But don’t worry, Huggy-- sooner or later Granny will try to pull off some other crime. And when she does-- we’ll be there! And… done!

(She holds up a tangled ball made up of different small items. Bob chatters.)

Becky: What do you mean, what is it? It’s a keychain! I made it for Mom, to show her how much I  appreciate  her.

(Bob chatters again.)

Becky: That’s true, it’s not quite right… I’ve got it! It needs more stuff! Let’s go into town and get another kit.

(Bob slaps his head.)

(Scene: Downtown, a little later. Becky and Bob are walking together.)

Becky: You know, making a keychain is not as easy as it looks.

(Granny May drives by, honking her horn.)

Becky: Hey, that was Granny May!

Bank Teller: Help! We’ve been robbed!

Becky: (gasping) Come on, Huggy! Word UP! (They transform and fly over to the front of the bank.)

WordGirl: What happened? Why didn’t you sound the burglar alarm?

Bank Teller: I did! It’s on now!

(She points to the front of the building, where an extremely quiet alarm is going off. All that can be heard from it is a clacking sound.)

WordGirl: That’s the alarm?

Bank Teller: Uh-huh.

WordGirl: Aren’t alarms supposed to be… you know, loud?

Bank Teller: Tell it to the mayor, his new law calls for seventy-five percent quieter burglar alarms!

WordGirl: Strange… well, why didn’t the security guards try to stop her?

Bank Teller: Another new law. Security guards can only work from noon to three, they can spend more time with their nannas!

WordGirl: Nannas?

Bank Teller: Yeah.

(A security guard walks by with his nanna, carrying an ice cream cone.)

WordGirl: Hmm. Huggy, I think it’s time we had a little talk with the mayor. Word UP! (takes off)

(Scene: The mayor’s office. He is covered up with a blanket that Granny May is still knitting.)

Mayor: You’re so sweet, Granny May!

Granny May: And you’re such a good boy.

(WordGirl and Huggy come through the door.)

WordGirl: Mayor, we need to have a talk about--

(She gasps when she sees that Granny May is with him.)

WordGirl: Granny May, what are you doing here?

Mayor: She’s my new senior aide!

WordGirl: Senior aide? But, she’s a criminal! She just robbed a bank!

Granny May: I did? I don’t remember doing that. Hmm. Let me sit my old bones down and think for a second. Oooh…

Mayor: How dare you accuse a sweet old lady of being a criminal! Does she look like a bank robber to you?

(Her arms shake while she slowly settles lowers herself into the rocking chair.)

WordGirl: But Mayor, she’s just pretending to be sweet. It’s just an act, a  masquerade . It’s not real!

Granny May: Ahh… feels good to rest my feet. Now, what was the problem again?

WordGirl: You robbed a bank.

Granny May: Rob a bank? With these bunions?

Mayor: That’s it. WordGirl, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave!

Granny May: (getting back up) Yeah, I’ll see you out.

WordGirl: You may have won this round, Granny But Huggy and I will--

(Granny May slams the door shut on them.)

Granny May: My, my. It’s almost four o’clock. Time for your nappy-poo!

(The mayor stretches and yawns.)

Mayor: Maybe I’ll rest my eyes for just a minute.

Granny May: (softly) That’s right, sleep tight. Heh-heh-heh-heh.

(Scene: WordGirl flies around with Huggy, with a even larger “keychain” on her left wrist.)

WordGirl: Argh! I don’t know what’s more frustrating… Granny May or finishing this keychain!

(Huggy chatters.)

WordGirl: Uh-oh! More trouble! Let’s go! (flies down)

(WordGirl lands in front of Granny May’s car and puts her hand up, stopping it.)

WordGirl: Freeze, Granny! You’re not getting away this time!

Granny May: Oh yeah? Well, just try to-- wait. What is that thing?

WordGirl: What thi-- oh. It’s, uh-- a keychain for my mom. To show her how much I  appreciate  her.

Granny May: With that? You sure you know what  appreciate  means, dear?

WordGirl: Yeah, uh, it means to be really grateful or thankful for something or someone. Ah, like how I  appreciate  Captain Huggy Face. Why?

Granny May: Uh… never mind.

(Two police officers arrive in roller skates. They struggle to stay on their feet.)

Granny May: Well, it’s been nice talkin to ya. But I gotta run! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(She backs up and drives off.)

WordGirl: Hey come back here--

(The officers on skates run into her, knocking them down.)

Officer: Sorry about that.

(The keychain, which had flown out of WordGirl’s hand during the collision, falls down onto Huggy. As they notice it, the officers cringe.)

(Scene: Back at the mayor’s office, a little later. WordGirl is trying to convince the mayor that something needs to be done about Granny May.)

WordGirl: But you have to listen to us, Mayor! Your new laws have caused a record crime spree! See?

(She shows him the headlines of the newspaper, showing empty vaults, confused guards, and officers stumbling on roller skates.)

Mayor: (reading) Uh, “record crime spree, new laws to blame”... hmm, let me discuss this with my senior aide.

WordGirl: But your senior aide is the one committing all the crimes! She’s just  masquerading  as a sweet old lady!

(Granny May comes in, humming to herself.)

Granny May: Hello, dear. Have you finished your keychain yet, sweetie?

WordGirl: Forget about the keychain! I’m more worried about this crime spree!

Mayor: Right… Granny, WordGirl says the city is in the middle of a crime wave. Maybe we should rethink some of those laws.

Granny May: Now, now, remember what I said about focusing on happy things? That’s why we cancelled all those pesky emergency council meetings, remember?

WordGirl: You what? This is preposterous! She’s a criminal, hello!

Mayor: THAT’s preposterous! She’s my senior aide!

Granny May: Oooh! All this yelling! I need to sit down.

(WordGirl smiles as she suddenly gets an idea.)

WordGirl: Uh, you know what, Mister Mayor, you’re right. We could all use a little more relaxing. Let’s go, Huggy!

(Granny May glares at her while knitting.)

WordGirl: This crime wave sure is bad, but at least the city’s million bars of gold will be safe, since they’re stored in a bank vault with a super-powerful electronic lock!

(She and Huggy walk toward the door.)

Mayor: Well, now I just have to, um-- is everything alright, Granny?

(Since hearing about the bars of gold, Granny May has had a blank stare on her face.)

Granny May: Oh, I was just thinking about all the electricity being wasted by those bank vault locks. Why, just think of how much we could save if we turned them off at night!

Mayor: Uh… yes, but then, someone could steal whatever’s in them.

Granny May: Oh, that’s silly. Who’s gonna rob banks at night? Everybody’s asleep!

Mayor: Good point. I’ll write up a law--

Granny May: Already written, just sign, initial and stamp!

Mayor: Oh! Okay.

Narrator: That very evening...

(Scene: The mayor’s office, later that evening. The mayor sits in his chair covered by his blankie, holding his teddy bear. Granny May stands next to him, holding a copy of Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum.)

Mayor: Oh, boy. It’s late. I’m sleepy.

(Granny May walks away carrying the book.)

Mayor: Wait-- uh, where are you going? A-aren’t you going to tuck me in?

Granny May: No, I can’t tonight, dum-dum-- I mean, sugar plum. It’s, uh-- my bingo night!

Mayor: Oh, well-- good luck! I hope you win a little money.

Granny May: (to herself) Yeah, me too! Heh-heh-heh! (out loud) Goodnight!

(As she leaves, the phone rings. The mayor answers it.)

Mayor: Mister Mayor’s office, Mister Mayor speaking.

WordGirl: Mister Mayor, it’s WordGirl.

Mayor: Hi, WordGirl!

WordGirl: This is really important. Is Granny there?

Mayor: Nope, she just left.

WordGirl: I knew it! Listen, Mister Mayor, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to meet me at the park--

(The conversation switches back to the mayor, so we don’t hear everything that WordGirl tells him.)

Mayor: Oh, uh, I don’t know, uh-- I get to wear what? Oh, boy! I’ll be right there!

(Scene: A little later at the bank vault holding the gold. Granny May sneaks into the vault, which is now open, and looks down at the gold bars in front of her. Suddenly, WordGirl and a very large monkey appear behind her.)

WordGirl: Going somewhere, Granny May?

Granny May: WordGirl! And Captain Huggy-- wait a minute, what happened to your monkey?

(The large figure with a monkey head goes “eeep”.)

WordGirl: Uh, well, it’s past Huggy’s bedtime, and I didn’t want to wake him, so I called in a last-minute replacement!

Man in monkey suit: I’m a monkey!

Granny May: Well, it doesn’t matter which monkey you have. You haven’t stopped me before, and you’re not stopping me now!

WordGirl: We’ll see about that!

Granny May: Even if you do take me in, the mayor will just let me go! I got him wrapped around my little finger!

WordGirl: By doing your sweet old lady  masquerade ?

Granny May: That’s right! I turn on the charm, and he gives me whatever I want! Ha!

Man in monkey suit: Is that so? (He takes off his monkey head, revealing that he is actually the mayor.)

Granny May: What? You?

WordGirl: Gotcha! You’re not the only one who  appreciate s  masquerade s and disguises!

Narrator: Really? Nobody saw that coming?

Mayor: Granny, how could you? I thought you  appreciated  me.

Granny May: I do, sweetie. It’s just that I  appreciate  this gold more! Now, if you’ll excuse me--so long!

(She changes into her armored suit, and starts to take off. Huggy, who has been crouched on a light fixture, jumps onto her, knocking her back to the ground.)

WordGirl: Now to put her away!

(She flies over and builds a jail cell around her out of gold bars.)

WordGirl: That should keep you till the police arrive.

(Scene: Back at the Botsford house. Becky lands and changes back, then enters the house, where her mother is unpacking groceries. Becky hides the bulky keychain behind her back )

Becky: Hi, Mom! Guess what? I made this, to show how much I  appreciate  you. I think you’re the best mom in the whole world! (holds out the tangled mess) Ta-da!

Mrs. Botsford: (with a look of shock) Holy cow!

(Huggy chatters and puts his hands over his face.)

Narrator: I’m with you, Bob.

(Becky throws her arms around her mother and gives her a big hug.)

Narrator: No use  masquerading  my true feelings! That’s a whole lot of ugly. Oh well! Hey audience, if you  appreciate  action and adventure, be sure to join us next time for another exciting episode of WordGirl!

(During the closing sequence, WordGirl flies into the scene holding the mayor by the wrist while he is dressed in the Captain Huggy Face suit. He gives a thumbs up, but WordGirl struggles to hold onto him.)