Rodeotis

The Beginning
(The scene opens up with everyone playing Pass the Skunk)
 * Otis: Okay, folks, the name of the game is Hot Skunk. Hot Skunk. Whosever holding Skunky wakes up gets a face full of stink

(The truck pulls into the farmer’s house) (Chrous)
 * Abby: Uh, Otis, there’s a truck coming.
 * Otis: Ha, nice try Abby. You can’t psych me out
 * Peck: Otis, she’s not joking.
 * Otis: Oh please, Peck, how gullible do you think I---(hears a truck and Skunkie sprays in his face) Bad smell coma! (faints)
 * Pig: Oh, you sure did; right in his face. (laughs)
 * Farmer: Hello, may I--(surprised when he sees the driver was a cowgirl and suddenly fell in love)
 * Bronco Betsy: Howdy Hun, name’s Bronco Betsy and I’m scouting talent for my rodeo
 * Farmer: (still in love) Nice..eyes.
 * Otis: (wakes up) What’d I miss?
 * Pip: The farmer’s in love again.
 * -What kind of girl is it this time?
 * -A gardener.
 * -Another farmer.
 * -Nope, looks like a cowgirl this time.
 * Abby: Hopefully, she’ll stick around pass the drool stage.
 * Bronco Betsy: You got any rodeo acts around here? Maybe a farm hand that can bust a bronc or a monkey that rides a pig?
 * Farmer: Can’t says I do. Though I am bit of a sharp shooter. Mail box at 50 paces! (shoots a apple at it but it hit the mailman, off the tree, in a goat’s face and into Besty’s window)
 * -Uh oh.
 * Lisa: His aim was off by 103 degrees.
 * Besty: Ok, I gonna go now
 * Farmer: (depressed) Ok.
 * Freddy: Now, we’ll never have a new mommy.
 * Abby: If only there was someway to help.
 * -I have an idea. What if we made him a bull rider so Betsy will have to date him
 * -I don’t know about that. He doesn’t look like bull riding material.
 * -Yeah, besides there’s no bulls around here for miles.
 * Otis: Maybe there is. Pip, get my horns! Pig, glue my back up!
 * Pip: Coming up! (put horns on his head)
 * Pig: You got it! (glues his back)
 * Otis: Do I look like a fearsome bull?
 * -Try tucking in your udders.
 * Otis: I am. Now to turn that dungaree wearing couch jockey into a rootin-tootin rodeo hunk.
 * Pig: Go, get’em Otis! What’s happening?
 * -We’re trying the farmer to fall for Betsy by making Otis into a bull.
 * Pig: Oh.
 * Farmer: Maybe we can have lunch sometime. (sees Otis coming) Ahh, mad bull! (Otis kicks him on his back and makes it looks like he’s riding him)
 * Bronco Betsy: What in the hay?
 * Farmer: Calm the ocean there boy. Whoa.
 * Bronco Betsy: Whoo-who, mister. Why didn’t you tell me you could ride like that?
 * Farmer: Um, I don’t like to brag?
 * Bronco Betsy: You’re my new starting act. Be at the Cow Palace Tomorrow at 7. You keep riding like that, and you might just win my heart.
 * Farmer: You hear that, strange bull I never met before. We’re going to the rodeo
 * Narrator: The next day, at the missile defense complex...Whoops wrong show. I mean rodeo….
 * Guard: (sees the farmer and Otis) Oh you must be that new bull rider. Go on in.
 * Farmer: Much obliged.
 * Guard: (sees everyone else) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you folks aren’t on my list.
 * Abby: Uh, we’re part of the show. I’m a trick ropping, full figure cowgirl
 * Freddy: And we’re rodeo clowns. (sprays water on Peck)
 * Peck: Yeah, I think he get’s it.
 * Guard: And what are you supposed to be?
 * -These are my tiny monkeys, Pingo and Scruf riding on a pig.
 * Pip: What she said. I mean-- (howlers)
 * Guard: Works for me. Go on in.
 * Peck: (annoyed by the water) FREDDY!!!
 * Bronco Betsy: (makes a opening entrance on a horse)Thank you kindly, folks. Now in a few moments we’re gonna bring out the hard ridest bull jockey you ever did see. A cowboy who calls himself the Farmer. But first, a special performance by these little doggies call….The Buckeroos!
 * Ferb: All right, cowboys and cowgirls, it's time to get along, little doggy. Or even a short little doggy. I'm here all week. Try the veal!

''You're not a cow, I'm just a boy with a mechanical bovine toy! I'm just a boy, or just a girl and you rock my mechanical bovine world!''

''Yipee-kiyay, yipee-kiyo give me a lasso and I'll give it a throw. Yipee-kiyay, yipee-kiyo in my robot rodeo!''

''Yipee-kiyay, yipee-kiyo, yipee-kiyay! Yipee-kiyay, yipee-kiyo, yipee-kiyay!''

(The crowd applauded for them) (Not knowing, Psycho hears the whole thing) (Everyone wonders that too) (The vet finishes wrapping Otis' leg) (Finally, Psycho kicks the farmer getting his head stuck into a fence) (Psycho laughs as he targets the Farmer)
 * Farmer: Hi, Bronco Betsy
 * Bronco Betsy: Hey, farmer. Those kids you brought with you did a good opening act.
 * -Oh, it was nothing.
 * -It's good to have friends who have friends who grew up on a ranch.
 * Human Applejack: It's a living.
 * Bronco Betsy: You can put your bull in stall number 1 until your ride. Just keep clear of stall number 2.
 * -What kind of bull is in there?
 * Betsy: That there is Psycho, the most violent bull in all rodeo; put every cowboy who ever rode him in the hospital.
 * All: (gasps)
 * -That really scary.
 * -The farmer must be terrified.
 * Farmer: You smell nice
 * -Or maybe not.
 * Bronco Betsy: All it nothing but leather and sweat. Good luck out there. (kisses him) I’ll be watching.
 * Farmer: (giggle for a while) In you go, bull. I’m gonna go to the little cowboy’s room to put on my sparking chaps.
 * Abby: Otis, this is so exciting. When do we get to go on?
 * Otis: Guys, this isn’t about us. It’s about getting Bronco Betsy to fall for the farmer. And if I happen to become a famous rodeo star in the process, well that’s a risk we’ll have to take.
 * Speaker: Bull riding in 10 minutes
 * Otis: Ok, ok, (stutters). How do I look?
 * Abby: Still got them udders.
 * Otis: I sure do.
 * Psycho: Hey, new guy!
 * Pip: Holy cow!
 * Abby: It’s that crazy bull!
 * Peck: He eats cowboys for breakfast
 * Freddy: And accountants for a light snack at 4!
 * Psycho: What, come on, don’t tell me you believe that story.
 * Abby: Well, ain’t it true?
 * Psycho: No, that’s all tinsel and fak’em ups. I’m just entertaining the nice people. It’s showbiz and Hey, look at me, am I right?
 * Otis: You know I thought so. People will realize how hard it is for us professional show bulls to act all tough and mean.
 * Abby: Otis, stay away from him.
 * Pip: Yeah, you heard the rodeo lady
 * Otis: Oh, guys, it’s fine. I’m just gonna talk a little shop here with my bull buddy.
 * Psycho: Sure. Hey, I like you guys. The pink one is funny, the monkeys are very cute, I don’t know what that thing is next to the duck. Hey, guys, come here, come here, here some rodeo fun money. (Gives them money) Get something nice at the concession stand. Here. Here some for you and some for the wierd guy. We’re good friends now, right?
 * Otis: So, Pyscho, got any crowd pleasing tricks you wanna share with me before I go on?
 * Psycho: Oh, sure. That’s good to do. But before that, could you help me move my couch? I had the miniature ponies over for fondue last night and it got a little roudy, you know what I’m saying
 * Otis: Oh, those cheese eating freaks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, let me just come inside and trustfully enter your dwelling. (heads inside)
 * Psycho: Yeah, it’s small, but it gets a nice light. So anyway if you could just grab that end
 * Otis: Sure no problem, new friend. Just tell me where you want--(suddenly Psycho smashes the couch on Otis' leg) Furniture betrayal!
 * Psycho: Not so cocky now, are you new bull. Let me tell you something, hotshot, there’s only room for one star in this rodeo. And now that you’re out of the way, tonight, Pyscho rides again! How are you doing there
 * Otis: Not too good.
 * Psycho: (laughs again)
 * Narrator: 10 minutes later…
 * Otis: Ow.
 * Bronco Betsy: Now don’t you worry, farmer, this vet the best there is. How is he, doc?
 * Vet: Well, this bull gotta...What is it when the bone is all...uh...you know there’s a big crack and it’s hurts a lot?
 * Otis: (whispers) Broken.
 * Vet: Right, yeah, that’s it. His leg broken. Uh, he won’t be doing any riding tonight.
 * Bronco Betsy: Oh, that’s a shame hon,and I so wanted to see you ride again. Then possibly, married you. But, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
 * Farmer: W-w-w-wait, I’ll ride an bull you got. Even that Pyscho fella.
 * Bronco Betsy: No farmer, that’s crazy talk!
 * Farmer: Well, maybe I am crazy. Crazy in love. Let’s do this thing. (catapults over the stall and rides Psycho out on stage)
 * Pig: Hey, where’s Pyscho? We brought him some chocolate covered raisins.
 * Abby: (gasps) Otis, what happened to your leg
 * Otis: Pyscho asked me to help him out to move his couch and then busted my leg and said mean things. And then the farmer decided to ride him to win love for Bronco Betsy and now he’s doomed!
 * Pig: I get his raisins! (Everyone gets angry) I mean, after we get over the initial shock of this.
 * Abby: He’ll pulverized his delicate old man bones!
 * Pig: The horror. (eats raisins) Mmm, raisins.
 * Farmer: (knocked out) Pretty rodeo lady.
 * Otis: We gotta save him! Freddy, Peck, get in there and distract Psycho with some rodeo clowning
 * Freddy and Peck: Right
 * Otis:Abby, you try to rope Psycho
 * Abby: I’m on it
 * Otis: Pig, Scruffy and Pip, do...whatever tiny monkeys on a pig does.

(Everyone cheers for the Farmer) (Suddenly, Freddy Peck, crashed into the happy new couple) (Everyone agree and slowly walks away)
 * Psycho: Ah, it’s true what they say, Do what you love. Ok, showtime! Here we go.
 * Freddy: Yoo-hoo
 * Peck: Oh mister Psycho
 * Psycho: Oh-ho-ho, it’s the duck and the wierd guy. Well, as long as I’m out here. (charges at them only to stop at a anvil behind the cape) Oh, the red cape, anvil fake out. You guys are old school. I love that. (knocks them high into the air)
 * Peck: How long will you think this will go on?
 * Freddy: Not sure keep screaming.
 * Psycho: I’m here all week.
 * Abby: Ha, gotcha.
 * Psycho: The lasso on the horns, that’s cute. So is this. (hurls Abby and Applejack into a barrel)
 * Pip: Hey, bully, check it out. Tiny monkeys riding a pig.
 * Psycho:The monkeys hurling fake raisin poop at me, I’m so distracted. Just kidding, no I’m not. (Kicks Pig, Pip and Scruffy)
 * Man: I got it! I got it! (crushed by them)
 * Psycho: Now, where was I? Oh right, squishing The Farmer.
 * Otis: Looks like it’s all up to me. (whistles)
 * Psycho: Huh? (sees Otis) Oh, this guy. He is a worthy adversary, for me to squish! (snorts)
 * Otis: (snorts and suddenly his horns came off) Milk me
 * Farmer: (gets his head out of the fence) Huh, it’s my cow, Otis! He must’ve followed my scent here. (pulls out slingshot) I’d better use my sharp-shooting skills to save him!
 * Abby: Oh no!
 * Pip: The farmer’s a terrible shot
 * (in Freddy's voice) Otis is a goner!
 * Otis: Let’s see: he shot this morning, pull 27 ft to the left. So if I can adjust his shooting angle 103 degrees, he should hit Psycho dead on. (throws crutch at the farmer making the slingshot shoot off the speaker, off a clipboard, off a mailman, off Bronco Betsy and into the leg of the announcer stand)
 * Psycho: Oh, come on. (crushed by the stand)
 * Otis: That also works
 * Bronco Betsy: First prize for taming the wildest bull in the rodeo goes to: The Farmer! (gives him a blue ribbon) And that’s not all you’ve won. (Kisses him)
 * Abby: Aww, ain’t that nice?
 * Pig: Looks like we’re getting a new mommy.
 * Pig: Or maybe not.

The End.