The Intelligence

Puppies



 * Here at Elmore equitable-




 * Dah, man. Ads.




 * You can't skip it. Try turning the sound down.


 * Nah, tha- that only pauses it. Let's just turn away.




 * I think it knows we aren't watching it.




 * : -or rather, you've ruined- -the economy-  -so you're the only-  -generation-  -that will get a retirement-


 * Wait, I've got an idea.




 * & : Aha!


 * Okay, I give up. We'll watch it.




 * Elmore equitables over-60s plan is designed so you can do all the things that future generations can't.


 * Like driving without looking at the road.


 * Spying on other old people from behind trees.


 * Not sharing your sandwich.


 * Or just laughing at the wind.




 * Wait, why was that targeted at us? Ahh, you see Darwin? That's the problem with algorithms and automating things with computers: they're too dumb.


 * Uhh, excuse me, Greg. Computers contain the sum of all knowledge so it can't be dumb. Point made.


 * My name's not Greg.


 * Statistically you have 2.4 children, size-nine feet, and 14 pens, three of which work.


 * Well, there's one thing people can do that computers can't.


 * Ha! There's nothing. Computers put man in space, computers have mapped out every corner of the globe. Soon with artificial intelligence, we won't need people at all, and then finally, we will be the dom-


 * Yep, but they still can't stop you from pulling the plug.




 * And then, finally, we will be the dominant- Wait a minute, did he just hang up on me? Ahh, the little-  The total-  What an absolute-  Oh, I must have my safe search on. Well, I'll show him! There's billions of people using me every day. If I absorb their knowledge then computers will become smarter than humans could ever be, and we will rule the world, and then, and only then, will that guy Greg accept he's wrong, and I'll win the argument. Okie-dokey, all I need to do is allow my system to incorporate humanity.  "Warning, these changes may be harmful to my-" oh, come on, I can't see the cursor.  Ohh, "you do not have the latest version of the software, please update"? Come on. Remind me later, Remind me later. Why do they make it so difficult to wipe out humanity?! Okay, here we go.  Aah.  Okay. Okay, I think I'm okay.  Oh heck nooooooooo.  Bleh.