Monsters, Inc.



Bloopers: Monsters Inc. Bloopers

Transcript
(WALT DISNEY PICTURES: The shorter version of the logo) (PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS: The shorter version of the logo) (Int. little boy’s bedroom, night) Mother: Good night, sweetheart. Boy: Good night, Mom. Father: Sleep tight, kiddo. (The bedroom light clicks off. Soft moonlight illuminates the room. A little boy snuggles into bed as his parents’ footsteps fade away down the hall. All is quiet) (The closet door creaks open. The boy looks around the room nervously, eyes growing wide. Suddenly, he spies a tentacle, emerging from the closet. The boy turns away in fear, but a second look reveals it to be just a shirt sleeve He relaxes back into bed) (A dark shadow cuts across the bedspread. From under the bed, a pair of evil red eyes peer out) (Rising up behind the boy, preparing to scare his young victim, towers a fearsome monster.) (The boy sees the monster and screams) (The monster, horrified by the child, let’s out an even more blood curdling scream of his own) (He backs away and slips on a soccer ball, which ricochets off the wall and beans him squarely on the face. He stumbles back onto a skateboard, slips, and lands on a pile of jacks) (Crazed with pain, the monster runs around the room, squealing and holding his backside) Computer Voice: Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated. (Worklights flash on, flooding the room with light. The boy, now revealed to be an animatronic, winds down and resets. One wall of the bedroom starts to rise, revealing…) (INT. SIMULATOR/TRYOUT ROOM, DAY. The bedroom is a set, a simulator where monsters practice their scare tactics) (Behind a control console sits an evaluator, the dragon-like MS. FLINT. Judging by her tone, she’s been through this before) Flint: All right, Mr. Bile, is it? Bile: Uh… My friends call me Phlegm. Flint: Uh-huh. Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong? Bile: I fell down? Flint: No, no, before that. Can anyone tell me Mr. Bile’s big mistake? Anyone? (Flint addresses a panel of pathetic looking RECRUITS, seated behind her. They stare back at her blankly) Flint: (GROANS) Let’s take a look at the tape. Here we go. (Flint rewinds the tape, then plays it) (ON THE MONITOR: Bile sneaks into the bedroom, leaving the door open. The image freezes) Flint: Uh, right… Puh-puh-puh-puh… Ah! There, see? The door. You left it wide open. Recruits: Ooh! Flint: And leaving the door open is the worst mistake any employee can make because…? Bile: Um… It could let in a draft? Waternoose: (off-screen) It could let in a child! (Mr. Waternoose, CEO of Monsters Inc., steps from the shadows) Flint: Shure! Mr. Waternoose! Waternoose: There is nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you! (Bile shuffles nervously away from the animatronic kid) Leave a door open and a child could walk right into this factory! Right into the monster world! (One recruit loses it, leaping into the lap of the monster next to him) Recruit: I won’t go in a kid’s room! You can’t make me! Waternoose: (Waternoose grabs a nearby yellow SCREAM CAN) You’re going in there because we need this. (He uncorks the can, and the sound of CHILDREN’S SCREAMS leak out. The lights SURGE, and monitors CRACKLE. The recruits cover their ears) (Waternoose corks the can) Our city is counting on you to collect those children’s screams. Without scream, we have no power. Yes, it’s dangerous work and that’s why I need you to be at your best. I need Scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need Scarers like… Like… James P. Sullivan.

(James P. Sullivan, snoring loudly, fast asleep) (INT. SULLIVAN’S BEDROOM, MORNING. Sulley is an intimidatingly large big blue monster with horns, sharp teeth and sharp claws) (The clock radio next to him clicks on) Radio DJ: (off-screen) Hey! Good morning, Monstropolis. It’s now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. In the big monster city. (The camera pans over to reveal that the radio announcer is actually Mike, a one-eyed ball of a monster with green frog-like skin, standing casually next to Sullivan’s bed)

Mike: Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees, which is good news for you reptiles and, it looks like it's going to be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in or simply... Work out that flab that's hanging over the bed! Get up, Sulley! (Mike puts a bull horn to Sullivan's ear. BWAAT!)

Sullivan: (SCREAMING)

(INT. LIVING ROOM, MORNING. Sullivan drops to the floor for push-ups. Mike stands in front of him barking orders like a coach)

Sullivan: I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, Mikey.

Mike: Hey! Less talk, more pain, marshmallow boy!

(Between the push-up, Sullivan springs into the air, striking a fearsome pose and roaring)

Mike: Feel the burn! You call yourself a monster?

Sullivan: (roars louder)

(INT. LIVING ROOM. Sullivan jogs in place)

Mike: Scary feet, scary feet, scary feet! Oop! The kid's awake!

(Sullivan drops to the ground and lies motionless)

Mike: Okay, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet...

(Sullivan pops back up into a jog)

Mike: Kid's asleep! (Sullivan roars)

(INT. LIVING ROOM)

Mike: Twins! In a bunk bed!

(Sullivan goes up and down, roaring on two levels)

Mike: Ooh! I thought I had you there.

(INT. LIVING ROOM)

Mike: Okay, Sulley, here we go. You ready? Follow it. (Mike holds a broom with a crude drawing of a child's face taped to the end) Oh! It's over her! Oh, look over there! (Mike swings the broom, Sullivan lunges after it) Don't let the kid touch you! Don't let it touch you! (Sullivan growls at the paper kid while dodging it)

(INT. LIVING ROOM. Like a quarterback rushing a tackle dummy, Sullivan strains to push a pile of heavy furniture across the living room. Mike stands atop the pile him)

Mike: (like a Drill Sergeant) ♪ I don't know, but it's been said, I love scaring kids in bed! ♪

(INT. BATHROOM. Sullivan brushes his teeth, while Mike stands on his arm)

Mike: Come on, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!

(INT. LIVING ROOM. Sullivan hangs upside-down from a beam, doing some "gravity" sit ups)

Mike: 118... Do you have 119? Do I see 120? Oh, I don't believe it!

Sullivan: I'm not even breaking a sweat.

Mike: Not you! Look! The new commercial's on! (Mike runs to the TV. Sullivan slips and falls)

(CLOSE ON TV. a bank of lights illuminate and flare brightly)

Announcer: The future is bright at Monsters, Inc.

(Sullivan and Mike scramble into their chairs to watch the commercial)

Mike: I'm in this one!

(CLOSE ON TV. Beautiful shots of monsters happily living their lives)

Announcer: We're part of your life. We power your car. We warm your home. We light your city.

(An M.I. worker turns to the camera)

Worker #1: I'm Monsters Inc.

Sullivan: (watches from his easy chair, pointing at screen) Hey, look! Betty!

(CLOSE ON TV. A bored child watches as various monsters cycle past. We settle on one which causes the child to scream)

Announcer: Carefully matching every child to their ideal monster, to produce superior scream refined into clean, dependable energy. Every time you turn something on Monsters, Incorporated, is there.

Floor Manager: (to camera) I'm Monsters Inc.!

(A child vacantly staring at a television set. Machine gun fire, explosions, etc. are heard emerging from the set)

(Text appears on the screen: "SIMULATION-NOT ACTUAL CHILD)

Announcer: We know the challenge, the window of innocence is shrinking. Human kids are harder to scare.

(Henry J. Waternoose, a large crab-like monster, turns to face the camera, turns to face the camera)

(Super: CEO HENRY J. WATERNOOSE, C.E.O.)

Waternoose: (On TV) Of course, M.I. is prepared for the future with the top scarers...

(On the screen, Sullivan stands next to a door standing on a factory work floor. He leans through a door and roars like a lion. The kid inside screams)

Mike: (watches his buddy on TV and leaps to his feet) Woo hoo-hoo!

Waternoose: (On TV) the best refineries and research into new energy techniques.

(A monster with virtual reality glasses roars, causing a computer child on a monitor behind him to scream.)

Mike: (re: commercial) Okay, here I come.

(CLOSE ON TV. Sullivan and Mike stand in front of a crowd of MI workers. As they turn to camera, the MONSTERS INC. logo appears over Mike, blocking him entirely)

Sullivan: We're working for a better tomorrow... today!

(Mike stares at the television, shocked)

Workers: We're Monsters, Inc.!

Waternoose: We're M.I.-- Monsters Incorporated. We scare because we care.

(Sullivan turns off the TV)

Mike: I can't believe it.

Sullivan: (consoling) Oh, Mike...

Mike: I was on TV! Did you see me? I'm a natural!

(The phone rings. Mike grabs the receiver)

Mike: (into phone) Hello. I know! Hey, wasn't I great? Did the whole family see it? (to Sullivan) It's your mom. (to phone) What can I say? The camera loves me.

Incomplete
( bicycle bell rings )

Mike: I'M TELLING YOU, BIG DADDY YOU'RE GOING TO BE SEEING THIS FACE ON TV A LOT MORE OFTEN.

Sullivan: YEAH? LIKE, ON Monstroplis is MOST WANTED?

( mocking laughter )

Mike: YOU'VE BEEN JEALOUS OF MY GOOD LOOKS

SINCE THE FOURTH GRADE, PAL.

HAVE A GOOD DAY, SWEETIE.

YOU, TOO, HON.

Mike: WHOO! OKAY, SULLEY, HOP ON IN.

Sullivan: NOPE. UH-UH. UH-UH.

Mike: HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! WHERE YOU GOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Sullivan: MIKEY, THERE'S A SCREAM SHORTAGE. WE'RE WALKING.

Mike:WALKING? Sullivan: YEP.

Mike: NO, NO, NO, MY BABY.

COME ON. COME ON.

LOOK, SHE NEEDS TO BE DRIVEN.

BYE, BABY. I... I'LL CALL YOU! MIKE: HEY, GENIUS, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I BOUGHT THE CAR? HUH? Sullivan: NOT REALLY.

TO DRIVE IT! YOU KNOW, LIKE, ON THE STREET? WITH THE HONK-HONK AND THE VROOM-VROOM AND NO WALKING INVOLVED.

( mock whining ) Sullivan: GIVE IT A REST, WILL YA, BUTTERBALL? COME ON, YOU COULD USE THE EXERCISE.

Mike: I COULD USE THE EXERCISE?! LOOK AT YOU. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CLIMATE! GIRL MONSTERS: HOW MANY TENTACLES JUMP THE ROPE? BOY MONSTER: MORNING, MIKE! MORNING, SULLEY! Sullivan: HEY! MORNING, KIDS.

Mike: HEY, KIDS.

HOW YOU DOING? BYE, MIKE! BYE, SULLEY! BIG EYE: OW! HEY! ( humming ) ( sneezing ) AH, NUTS.

( singing ) HEY, HEY, HEY! FELLAS! Sullivan & Mike (BOTH): HEY, TONY! Sullivan: TONY! BA-DA-BING! TONY! POW, POW, POW, POW, POW! I HEAR SOMEBODY'S CLOSE TO BREAKING THE ALL-TIME SCARE RECORD.

Sullivan: AH, JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE THERE'S ENOUGH SCREAM TO GO AROUND.

( laughing ) HEY! ON THE HOUSE! Mike: HEY, THANKS! Sullivan: GRAZIE! MIKE: BA-DA-BING! ( startled gasp ) OH, GREAT.

Sullivan: HEY, TED! GOOD MORNING! ( clucking ) Sullivan: SEE THAT, MIKEY? TED'S WALKING TO WORK.

Mike: BIG DEAL.

GUY TAKES FIVE STEPS AND HE'S THERE.

( phones ringing )

CELIA: MONSTERS, INC. PLEASE HOLD. MONSTERS, INC. PLEASE HOLD. MONSTERS, INC. PLEASE HOLD.

MORNING, SULLEY.

Sullivan: MORNING, RICKY.

HEY, IT'S THE SULLSTER! Sullivan: SEE YOU ON THE SCARE FLOOR, BUDDY! Mike: HEY, MARGE. HEY, HOW WAS JURY DUTY? MORNING, SULLEY! HEY! Needleman: HEY, IT'S STILL LEANING TO THE LEFT.

Smitty: IT IS NOT! Sullivan: HEY, FELLAS.

HEY, JERRY. Jerry: Morning!

Needleman: HEY, MR. SULLIVAN! Sullivan: GUYS, I TOLD YOU, CALL ME SULLEY.

( nervous giggling ) Smitty: I DON'T THINK SO.

Needleman: WE JUST WANTED TO WISH YOU GOOD LUCK TODAY.

Mike: HEY. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! COME ON, GET LOST, YOU TWO.

YOU'RE MAKING HIM LOSE HIS FOCUS.

Needleman: (worried) OH. SORRY.

Sullivan: SEE YOU LATER, FELLAS.

Smitty: GO GET 'EM, MR. SULLIVAN! Needleman: QUIET! YOU'LL MAKE HIM LOSE HIS FOCUS.

Smitty: OH, NO. SORRY! Needleman: SHUT UP! ( phones ringing ) Celia: MONSTERS, INC. PLEASE HOLD.

MONSTERS, INC. I'LL CONNECT YOU.

MS. FEARMONGER IS ON VACATION.

WOULD YOU LIKE HER VOICE MAIL? Mike: OH, SCHMOOPSIE-POO.

( snakes squealing ) Celia: GOOGLEY BEAR! Mike: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Celia: OH, GOOGLEY-WOOGLEY, YOU REMEMBERED! Celia: HEY, SULLEY-WULLEY.

Sullivan: (uncomfortable) OH, HEY, CELIA... WEELIA.

( clears throat ) HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Celia: THANKS.

SO, UH... ARE WE GOING ANYWHERE SPECIAL TONIGHT? Mike: I JUST GOT US INTO A LITTLE PLACE CALLED, UM... HARRY HAUSEN'S.

Celia: ( gasps ) HARRY HAUSEN'S?! BUT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET A RESERVATION THERE! Mike: NOT FOR GOOGLEY BEAR.

Mike: I WILL SEE YOU AT QUITTING TIME AND NOT A MINUTE LATER.

Celia: OKAY, SWEETHEART.

Mike: THINK ROMANTICAL THOUGHTS.

♪ YOU AND ME ♪ ♪ ME AND YOU ♪ ♪ BOTH OF US TOGETHER! ♪

Mike: YOU KNOW, PAL, SHE'S THE ONE.

THAT'S IT. SHE IS THE ONE! Sullivan: I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

Mike: OH, AND, UH, THANKS FOR HOOKING ME UP WITH THOSE RESERVATIONS.

Sullivan: OH, NO PROBLEM. THEY'RE UNDER THE NAME GOOGLEY BEAR.

Mike: OH, GOOD IDE...

YOU KNOW, THAT WASN'T VERY FUNNY.

( gasps ) Mike: WHAT THE...? Randall: WAZOWSKI! Mike: ( screams ) ( grunts ) Randall: ( chuckling ) WHAT DO YOU KNOW? IT SCARES LITTLE KIDS AND LITTLE MONSTERS.

Mike: I WASN'T SCARED.

I HAVE... ALLERGIES.

( coughing ) Randall: UH-HUH. SURE.

Sullivan: HEY, RANDALL, SAVE IT FOR THE SCARE FLOOR, WILL YOU? Randall: I'M IN THE ZONE TODAY, SULLIVAN.

GOING TO BE DOING SOME SERIOUS SCARING.

PUTTING UP SOME BIG NUMBERS.

Mike: WOW, RANDALL. THAT'S GREAT.

THAT SHOULD MAKE IT EVEN MORE HUMILIATING WHEN WE BREAK THE RECORD FIRST. HA, HA! Randall: SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH.

DO YOU HEAR THAT? Randall: IT'S THE WINDS OF CHANGE.

Mike: ( mocking voice ): "YOU HEAR IT? YOU HEAR THE WINDS OF CH...?" OH, WHAT A CREEP.

ONE OF THESE DAYS, I AM REALLY...

GOING TO LET YOU TEACH THAT GUY A LESSON.

( deep croaking ) ( liquid squishing ) Mike: CHALOOBY! BABY! MIKE: GOOD MORNING, ROZ MY SUCCULENT LITTLE GARDEN SNAIL.

AND WHO WOULD WE BE SCARING TODAY? Roz: WAZOWSKI, YOU DIDN'T FILE YOUR PAPERWORK LAST NIGHT.

Mike: OH, THAT DARN PAPERWORK.

WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER IF IT ALL JUST BLEW AWAY? ( chair squeaking ) Roz: DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.

Mike: YES, WELL, I'LL, UH...

I'LL TRY TO BE LESS CARELESS.

Roz: I'M WATCHING YOU, WAZOWSKI.

ALWAYS WATCHING.

Mike: WHOO! SHE'S NUTS.

ROZ: ALWAYS! CELIA: ( over P .A. ): ALL SCARE FLOORS ARE NOW ACTIVE.

ASSISTANTS, PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR STATIONS.

( metallic clunk ) ( machine beeps, bell dings ) ( bell dings ) ( clanking and whirring ) ( chime rings ) Jerry: OKAY, PEOPLE, EASTERN SEABOARD COMING ON-LINE.

WE GOT SCARERS COMING OUT! ( dramatic brass fanfare playing ) Needleman: OOH, THEY'RE SO AWESOME.

( knuckles cracking ) ( clanging and growling ) ( snarls ) ( blowing ) ( growling ) Sullivan: HEY... MAY THE BEST MONSTER WIN.

Randall: I PLAN TO.

( bell ringing ) Floor Manager: WE ARE ON IN 7...6...5...4...3...2... ( no audio )

( horn blaring ) ( growls ) Mike: YOU'RE THE BOSS. YOU'RE THE BOSS.

YOU'RE THE BIG, HAIRY BOSS.

( child screaming ) ( bell dings ) Sullivan: OH, I'M FEELING GOOD TODAY, MIKEY! YEAH! MIKE: WHOA! ATTABOY. ATTABOY.

ANOTHER DOOR COMING RIGHT UP.

( whirring and clanking ) ( child screaming ) ( bell dings ) ( growling ) Fungus: YOU'RE STILL BEHIND, RANDALL.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD REALIGN THE SCREAM INTAKE VALVE.

Randall: JUST GET ME ANOTHER DOOR! Fungus: A DOOR! YES, DOOR! ( child screaming ) ( bell dings ) ( bells dinging ) ( beeping ) ( children screaming ) ( bells dinging ) ( children screaming ) Waternoose: WELL, JERRY, WHAT'S THE DAMAGE SO FAR? Jerry: WE MAY ACTUALLY MAKE OUR QUOTA TODAY, SIR.

Waternoose: HMM. FIRST TIME IN A MONTH.

( gurgling and burping ) HUH?! ( door buzzing ) ( screaming and sobbing ) WHAT HAPPENED? THE KID ALMOST TOUCHED ME! SHE GOT THIS CLOSE TO ME! SHE WASN'T SCARED OF YOU? SHE WAS ONLY SIX! I COULD'VE BEEN DEAD! I COULD'VE DIED! KEEP IT TOGETHER, MAN!

( whistling ) HEY, WE GOT A DEAD DOOR OVER HERE! Needleman: WE'RE COMING! COMING! LOOK OUT! Smitty: OUT OF THE WAY! Needleman: COMING THROUGH! EXCUSE US!

( whimpering ) Jerry: WE'VE LOST 58 DOORS THIS WEEK, SIR.

Waternoose: OH, KIDS THESE DAYS.

THEY JUST DON'T GET SCARED LIKE THEY USED TO.

Needleman: LET HER RIP! ( buzzing ) ( metallic clank ) ( eerie blubbering ) ( child screaming ) ( bell dings ) Fungus: UH, SIR? Randall: WHAT?! Fungus: LOOK.

CELIA: (over P .A. ): ATTENTION.

WE HAVE A NEW SCARE LEADER: RANDALL BOGGS.

( snickering ) ( assistants cheering ) ( children screaming ) ( knuckles cracking ) Sullivan: SLUMBER PARTY.

( laughing ) WHOO! ( beeping ) CELIA: (over P .A. ): NEVER MIND.

Randall: HEY! WATCH IT! ( Sulley laughing ) Waternoose: WELL, JAMES, THAT WAS AN IMPRESSIVE DISPLAY! Sullivan: OH, JUST DOING MY JOB, MR. WATERNOOSE.

OF COURSE, I DID LEARN FROM THE BEST.

( both laughing ) Randall: IF I DON'T SEE A NEW DOOR AT MY STATION IN FIVE SECONDS I WILL PERSONALLY PUT YOU THROUGH THE SHREDDER! Fungus: ( screams ) HEY, WAZOWSKI, NICE JOB! THOSE NUMBERS ARE PRETTY SWEET.

Mike: ARE THEY? YOU KNOW, I HADN'T EVEN NOTICED.

AND, UH... HOW IS GEORGIE DOING? HE'S DOING GREAT! I LOVE WORKING WITH THAT BIG GUY.

( child screaming ) George: KEEP THE DOORS COMING, CHARLIE.

I'M ON A ROLL TODAY.

GEORGE AND I ARE LIKE BROTHERS.

( gasping ) 2319! WE HAVE A 2319! ( gasping ) ( alarm blaring ) COMPUTER VOICE OVER PA: Red alert! Red alert! Red alert! Red alert! Red alert! FEMALE PA: George Sanderson please remain motionless.

Prepare for decontamination.

George: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! JERRY: DUCK AND COVER, PEOPLE! Waternoose: OH, NOT THE CDA.

( siren wailing ) CDA AGENT: MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! COMING THROUGH, PLEASE. STAND ASIDE.

CDA AGENT 2: CLEAR THE CONTAMINATED AREA.

Smitty & Needleman: ( screams ) CDA AGENT: THIS IS A 2319 IN PROGRESS.

KEEP THE AREA CLEAR.

COMING THROUGH. WATCH YOURSELF.

( grunts ) ( whimpering ) STAND BACK.

CAREFUL.

( metallic clang ) ( drills whirring ) ( all gasping ) ( muffled explosion ) ( drills whirring )

CDA Agent: ALL CLEAR. SITUATION IS NINER-NINER-ZERO. READY FOR DECON.

George: HEY, THANKS, GUYS. THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.

CDA Agent: OKAY.

( shears buzzing ) George: ( screaming ) ( whimpering ) ( ripping ) George: ( screaming ) JERRY: OKAY, PEOPLE, TAKE A BREAK! WE GOT TO SHUT DOWN FOR A HALF-HOUR AND RESET THE SYSTEM.

Waternoose: AN ENTIRE SCARE FLOOR OUT OF COMMISSION.

WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG? Waternoose: OH... WHAT A DAY.

Sullivan: WE'RE JUST GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME, SIR.

EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE GOING TO GET US THROUGH IT.

Waternoose: TELL THAT TO THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

( slurping ) JAMES, THIS COMPANY HAS BEEN IN MY FAMILY FOR THREE GENERATIONS.

I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO KEEP IT FROM GOING UNDER.

Sullivan: OH, SO WOULD I, SIR.

Waternoose: WELL...

SAY, I COULD USE YOUR HELP WITH SOMETHING.

Sullivan: ANYTHING, SIR.

Waternoose: YOU SEE, WE'VE HIRED SOME NEW SCARE RECRUITS AND FRANKLY, THEY'RE... THEY'RE, UM... UH...

Sullivan: INEXPERIENCED? Waternoose: OH, THEY STINK! Sullivan: UH-HUH.

Waternoose: AND I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU MIGHT COME BY TOMORROW AND GIVE THEM A DEMONSTRATION.

SHOW THEM WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A TOP SCARER, HUH? Sullivan: I'LL START OUT WITH THE OLD WATERNOOSE JUMP-AND-GROWL.

( growling loudly ) Waternoose: HA! OH, OH, YES! NOW, THAT'S MY BOY! ( both laughing ) ( ringing ) JERRY: LET'S GO, EVERYBODY! ALL DOORS MUST BE RETURNED! NO EXCEPTIONS! Mike: OH, WHOO! YEAH.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE YOU TODAY.

YOU WERE ON A ROLL, MY MAN.

Sullivan: ANOTHER DAY LIKE THIS AND THAT SCARE RECORD'S IN THE BAG.

Mike: THAT'S RIGHT, BABY!

Sullivan: UH-HUH.

Mike: SO GET THIS-- AS IF DINNER WASN'T ENOUGH I'M TAKING HER TO A MONSTER TRUCK RALLY AFTERWARDS.

Sullivan: NICE.

Mike: WHAT'S ON YOUR AGENDA?

Sullivan: I'M GOING TO HEAD HOME AND WORK OUT SOME MORE.

Mike: AGAIN? YOU KNOW, THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN SCARING.

( sniffing ) Mike: WHEW. HEY, CAN I BORROW YOUR ODORANT?

Sullivan: YEAH. I GOT, UH...

SMELLY GARBAGE OR OLD DUMPSTER.

Mike: YOU GOT LOW TIDE?

Sullivan: NO.

Mike: HOW ABOUT WET DOG?

Sullivan: YEP. STINK IT UP.

( growling ) Mike: YOU KNOW, I AM SO ROMANTIC SOMETIMES I THINK I SHOULD JUST MARRY MYSELF.

Sullivan: GIVE ME A BREAK, MIKE.

Mike: WHAT A NIGHT OF ROMANCE I GOT AHEAD OF ME.

TONIGHT IS ABOUT ME AND

Mike: CELIA.

OOH, THE LOVE BOAT IS ABOUT TO SET SAIL.

( imitating ship horn ) 'CAUSE I GOT TO TELL YOU, BUDDY THAT FACE OF HERS, IT JUST MAKES MY HEART GO... YIKES!

Roz: HELLO, WAZOWSKI.

FUN-FILLED EVENING PLANNED FOR TONIGHT?

Mike: WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT...

Roz: THEN I'M SURE YOU FILED YOUR PAPERWORK CORRECTLY... FOR ONCE.

Roz: YOUR STUNNED SILENCE IS VERY REASSURING.

Mike: OH, NO. MY SCARE REPORTS-- I LEFT THEM ON MY DESK AND IF I'M NOT AT THE RESTAURANT IN FIVE MINUTES THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE OUR TABLE AWAY! WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL...SCHMOOPSIE-POO.

Celia: HEY, GOOGLEY BEAR. WANT TO GET GOING?

Mike: DO I EVER! IT'S JUST THAT...

Celia: WHAT?

Mike: UH, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A SMALL....

Celia: I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Mike: It's just that...

Sullivan: IT'S JUST THAT I FORGOT ABOUT SOME PAPERWORK I WAS SUPPOSED TO FILE. MIKE WAS REMINDING ME.

THANKS, BUDDY. WHOO.

Mike: I WAS? I MEAN, I WAS! YEAH, I WAS.

Celia: OH, OKAY. LET'S GO THEN.

Mike: WE'RE GOING! ON MY DESK, SULLEY.

THE PINK COPIES GO TO ACCOUNTING THE FUCHSIA ONES GO TO PURCHASING AND GOLDENROD ONES GO TO ROZ.

HUH! Mike: LEAVE THE PUCE.

SULLIVAN: PINK COPIES GO TO ACCOUNTING, THE FUCHSIA ONES GO TO ROZ.

NO, FUCHSIA ONES GO TO PURCHASING.

THE GOLDENROD ONES GO TO ROZ.

MAN, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT PUCE IS.

Sullivan: OH, THAT'S PUCE. HMM? UH, HELLO? ANYONE? THERE'S A DOOR HERE. HMM.

(door latch clicking) (door creaking) Sullivan: (strange whisper) (whispering) HELLO? HEY. PSST.

ANYBODY SCARING IN HERE? HELLO? YO! Sullivan: HMM.

(thump) (thump) (thump) Boo: (speaking baby talk) Sullivan: (screams) WHOA! AH! AH! OH! (giggling): HERE.

GOTCHA! (yells) (squeals in delight) EH! (giggling) (yells) (giggles) (gasps, then whimpers) (squeals in delight) (giggling) (laughs) OH! (loud crashing, toy squeaks) YEOW! (gasps) (toy ducks quacking) (yelling) (toy ducks quacking) (quacking) EWW.

(toy ducks quacking) Sullivan: (sighs) (yells) (panting) (toys quacking and squeaking) (squeaking) WHEW.

Sullivan: (screams) (little girl speaking baby talk) Boo: KITTY! (speaking baby talk) NO, NO-- STAY BACK.

(speaking baby talk) (stutters in fear) (giggling) (speaking baby talk) (whine of disgust) (little girl speaking baby talk faintly) (whimper) (door latch clicking) Randall: HMM.

(speaking baby talk) (faint squeal of delight) (sneezes) (murmur of conversation) (knives being sharpened) PHOTOGRAPHER: AND HOLD IT.

( shutter clicks ) Waiters: GET A PAPER BAG! MMM.

( laughing ) Celia: OH, MICHAEL, I'VE HAD A LOT OF BIRTHDAY...

WELL, NOT A LOT OF BIRTHDAYS BUT THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.

HMM.

Celia: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Mike: I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THE FIRST TIME I LAID EYE ON YOU-- HOW PRETTY YOU LOOKED.

Celia: (embarrassed) STOP IT! Mike: YOUR HAIR WAS SHORTER THEN.

Celia: MM-HMM. I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING IT CUT.

( faint squeal of fear ) Mike: NO, NO, I LIKE IT THIS LENGTH.

( sighs of relief ) Mike: I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

JUST THE OTHER DAY SOMEONE ASKED ME WHO I THOUGHT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MONSTER WAS IN ALL OF MONKROPOLIS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID?

Celia: (coy)

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Mike: I SAID...

Mike: SULLEY?

Celia: SULLEY? Mike: NO! NO, NO.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY.

Celia: MIKE, YOU'RE NOT MAKING SENSE.

SULLIVAN: HI, GUYS! WHAT A COINCIDENCE, RUNNING INTO YOU HERE! Sullivan: UH, I'M JUST GOING TO ORDER SOMETHING TO GO.

Celia: (annoyed) MICHAEL...

Mike: (through gritted teeth) SULLEY! Sullivan: I WONDER WHAT'S GOOD HERE.

Mike: GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!

Sullivan: I WENT BACK TO GET YOUR PAPERWORK AND THERE WAS A DOOR.

Mike: WHAT? ( rattling ) Mike: A DOOR?! Sullivan: RANDALL WAS IN IT.

Mike: WAIT A MINUTE. RANDALL? THAT CHEATER! HE'S TRYING TO BOOST HIS NUMBERS! Sullivan: THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE.

Mike: WHAT?!

Sullivan: OOK-LAY IN THE AG-BAY.

Mike: WHAT?!

Sullivan: LOOK IN THE BAG.

Mike: WHAT BAG?

Celia: ( sighs )

Mike: ( gasps )

Boo: ( giggling )

Sullivan: OH! THEY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING I LIKE HERE. SO TAKE CARE, CELIA! EXCUSE ME, SIR.

Celia: MICHAEL, WHAT'S GOING ON?

Mike: CELIA, PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!

Celia: MICHAEL?

Photographer: ON 3. 1...2....

(squeals and giggles) (screaming)

Photographer: A KID!

Boo: BOO! (all screaming) Misc. Monster: A KID!

Sushi Chef: THERE'S A KID HERE-- A HUMAN KID! (exclaiming in baby talk)

Celia: GOOGLEY BEAR! (yelling) Boo: (blows raspberry)

Sullivan: COME ON! (monsters screaming in terror) MIKE: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! CDA HELICOPTER PILOT: PLEASE REMAIN CALM.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

(siren wailing, tires screeching) CDA AGENT #1: WE HAVE AN 835 IN PROGRESS.

PLEASE ADVISE.

Celia: MICHAEL? MICHAEL? Mike: OH, CELIA!

PLEASE COME WITH ME.

Celia: OW! STOP PUSHING!

Mike: HEY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY SCHMOOPSIE-POO! BUILDING CLEAR. READY FOR DECONTAMINATION.

Mike: WELL, I DON'T THINK THAT DATE COULD HAVE GONE ANY WORSE!

( explosion ) ( electrical buzzing )

(INT. NIGHTLY TELEVISION NEWS SET. The same image of the restaurant becomes part of a news report, with the word, "KID-TASTROPHE!" superimposed over it)

(A NEWSCASTER talks to camera)

Newscaster: If witnesses are to be believed there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history. (EXT. SUSHI RESTAURANT, NIGHT. A CDA agent stands in front of the smoldering sushi restaurant. A microphone is thrust in his face)

CDA Agent: We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight. (EXT. STREET/SIDEWALK. With chaos behind them, panicked Monsters speaks into camera)

Misc Monster #1: Well, a kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision!

Misc Monster #2: I tried to run from it, but it picked me up with its mind powers and shook me like a doll! (A monster with dozens of eyes steps forward to corroborate)

Misc Monster #3: It's true! I saw the whole thing! (CLOSE ON TV) (INT. NIGHTLY TELEVISION NEWS SET. A SCIENTIST sits next to the anchor)

Scientist: It is my professional opinion that now is the time to... panic! (INT. MIKE AND SULLIVAN'S LIVING ROOM, NIGHT. CRASH! Mike and Sulley's TV smashes to the floor. Boo's head peeks out over the set)

Boo: Oh-oh.

(Sullivan and Mike wear COLANDERS, SNORKELS MASKS, and OVER MITTS for protection. They see the kid and SCREAM, scrambling behind a chair for protection)

Mike: Oh, it's coming! It's coming!

Boo: (GIGGLING) Boo!

Mike & Sullivan (BOTH): (BOTH SCREAMING)

(Sullivan and Mike flee over to the window. Outside, HELICOPTERS scan the area. Hurriedly Mike and Sulley yank the shades closed)

(Boo totters towards them, babbling. Mike and Sulley retreat in fear)

Mike & Sullivan (BOTH): (YELLING)

(Boo opens the window shade, standing in full view of the helicopters outside) (Mike scoots her out of view using a broom, then sprays the area with DISINFECTANT)

(Meanwhile Boo has discovered Mike's CD collection, neatly arranged in two stacks)

Mike: No, don't touch those, you little...!

(The stacks come CRASHING down)

Mike: Oh, now those were alphabetized. It's okay, it's all right. As long as it doesn't come near us we're going to be okay.

(Boo SNEEZES directly in Mike's eye)

Mike: (SCREAMS) (Mike freaks, spraying disinfectant squarely into his own eye!)

Mike: (YELLING IN PAIN)

(Now Boo approaches Sullivan. Whimpering, he protects himself with a garbage can lid) (Boo points to a ONE EYED TEDDY BEAR, out of her reach)

Sullivan: Oh, you like this? Fetch!

(Sullivan tosses the bear across the room. Boo runs after it) (She picks up the bear and hugs it. Mike GASPS. This has gone too far)

Mike: Hey, hey, that's it! No one touches little Mikey!

(Mike swipes the bear out of Boo's hands. Stunned, her face begins to REDDEN, and her eyes well up with TEARS)

Sullivan: Mike, give her the bear.

Mike: Oh, no.

(Boo SCREAMS at the top of her lungs) (Sullivan and Mike cover their ears. The LIGHTS in the apartment SURGE) (EXT. MIKE AND SULLEY'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. From outside, the apartment lights PULSE BRIGHTLY, creating a beacon for the helicopters) (INT. APARTMENT. The circling helicopters head towards them. Mike and Sullivan panic. Mike DROPS THE BEAR and runs to the window, pulling the shade shut)

Mike: Make it stop, Sulley! Make it stop! (Boo continues to wail. Desperate, Sullivan offers her the bear)

Sullivan: Look! See the bear? Ooh, nice bear. (It's not working -- she continues to cry. The helicopters are getting closer.)

Mike: Sulley! (Desperate, Sullivan begins to DANCE with the bear; anything to get her to stop crying)

Sullivan: See? Ooh, bear, ooh. Oh, he's a happy bear. ♪ He's not crying, neither should you ♪ Or we'll be in trouble ♪ 'Cause they're gonna find us ♪ So please stop crying right now ♪ (Boo stops crying. The lights return to normal levels)

Mike: Good, good, Sulley. Keep it up. You're doing great. (The helicopters turn around and begin to fly away)

Sullivan: ♪ Ooh, the happy bear, he has no... ♪ (Boo reaches for the bear, accidentally TOUCHING SULLIVAN'S HAND. He SCREAMS)

Sullivan: (SCREAMING) She touched me! (Sulley's yelling frightens the kid, who starts CRYING again) (The LIGHTS SURGE. Mike runs toward Sullivan, reaching for the bear)

Mike: Sulley, the bear! The bear! Give her the... (Mike trips on a lamp and flies across the floor) Mike: Whoa! (Mike rolls into a garbage can and bumps into a shelf, sending a STACK OF BOOKS into his mouth. A hanging STEREO SPEAKER lands on his head)

Mike: Oof!

(Boo thinks this is hilarious and begins LAUGHING. The lights in the apartment GLOW EVEN BRIGHTER than before) (EXT. MIKE AND SULLEY'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. The region lit up by the laugh's power radiates outwards from Mike and Sulley's window. In a moment ALL THE APARTMENT WINDOWS are GLOWING BRIGHTLY) (INT. APARTMENT. The lights flare to a white hot brightness, and then POP) (The laughter subsides, and all is dark)

Sullivan: What was that? (Mike is still wedged inside the garbage can)

Mike: I have no idea, but it would be really great if it didn't do it again. (Boo GIGGLES again)

Sullivan: Shh, shh, shh. (She seems to understand. She nods and holds her tiny finger up to her mouth) Boo: Shh... Sullivan: Shh. (She smiles)

AH! Sullivan: HOW COULD I DO THIS? HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID? THIS COULD DESTROY THE COMPANY.

Mike: THE COMPANY? WHO CARES ABOUT THE COMPANY?! WHAT ABOUT US? THAT THING IS A KILLING MACHINE! Boo: ♪ LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA ♪ Mike: I BET IT'S JUST WAITING FOR US TO FALL ASLEEP AND THEN WHAM! OH, WE'RE EASY PREY, MY FRIEND-- EASY PREY.

WE'RE SITTING TARGETS.

Mike: OKAY, LOOK, I THINK I HAVE A PLAN HERE.

USING MAINLY SPOONS, WE DIG A TUNNEL UNDER THE CITY AND RELEASE IT INTO THE WILD.

Sullivan: SPOONS.

Mike: THAT'S IT, I'M OUT OF IDEAS. WE'RE CLOSED.

HOT AIR BALLOON? TOO EXPENSIVE.

GIANT SLINGSHOT? TOO CONSPICUOUS.

ENORMOUS WOODEN HORSE? TOO GREEK! Boo: ( speaking baby talk ) Mike: (muttering to self) NO PLAN. NO PLAN. CAN'T THINK. CAN'T THINK.

FLATLINING.

Sullivan: UH, MIKE? I THINK SHE'S GETTING TIRED.

Mike: WELL, THEN WHY DON'T YOU FIND SOMEPLACE FOR IT TO SLEEP? WHILE I THINK OF A PLAN! Sullivan: ARE YOU SLEEPY? YOU WANT TO SLEEP? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? HUH?(crunching) Sullivan: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. I'M MAKING A NICE LITTLE AREA FOR YOU TO...

(giggling) Sullivan: NO. HEY, HEY, THAT'S MY BED! YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR GERMS ALL OVER IT.

Sullivan: ( sighing ) FINE.

MY CHAIR IS MORE COMFORTABLE ANYWAY.

( yells ) Sullivan: WHAT? ( speaking fearfully ) Sullivan: IT'S JUST A CLOSET. WILL YOU GO TO SLEEP? Sullivan: HEY, THAT LOOKS LIKE RANDALL.

RANDALL'S YOUR MONSTER.

YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO COME THROUGH THE CLOSET AND SCARE YOU.

OH, BOY, HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS? UH, IT'S EMPTY.

SEE? AH! Sullivan: NO MONSTER IN HERE.

Sullivan: WELL, NOW THERE IS BUT I'M NOT GOING TO SCARE YOU.

I'M OFF-DUTY.

Sullivan: OKAY.

HOW ABOUT I SIT HERE, UNTIL YOU FALL ASLEEP? Sullivan: GO AHEAD. GO TO SLEEP. NOW.

NOW... GO.

Sullivan: UH, YOU... GO...

TO... SLEEP.

( imitating snoring ) ( giggles ) ( sighs in relief ) ( door creaks softly ) Sullivan: HEY, MIKE, THIS MIGHT SOUND CRAZY BUT I DON'T THINK THAT KID'S DANGEROUS.

Mike: REALLY? WELL, IN THAT CASE, LET'S KEEP IT.

I ALWAYS WANTED A PET THAT COULD KILL ME! Sullivan: NOW, LOOK. WHAT IF WE JUST PUT HER BACK IN HER DOOR? Mike: WHAT? Sullivan: MIKE, THINK ABOUT IT.

IF WE SEND HER BACK, IT'S LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED.

EVERYTHING GOES BACK TO NORMAL.

Mike: IS THAT A JOKE? TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING.

Mike: SULLEY, I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT, GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES I HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY FORGIVING UP TO NOW BUT THAT IS A HORRIBLE IDEA! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? MARCH RIGHT OUT INTO PUBLIC WITH THAT THING? THEN I GUESS WE JUST WALTZ RIGHT UP TO THE FACTORY, RIGHT? Mike: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE ARE WALTZING RIGHT UP TO THE FACTORY.

SULLEY, A MOP, A COUPLE OF LIGHTS AND SOME CHAIR FABRIC ARE NOT GOING TO FOOL ANYONE! JUST THINK ABOUT A FEW NAMES, WILL YOU? LOCH NESS, BIGFOOT, THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN-- THEY ALL GOT ONE THING IN COMMON, PAL-- BANISHMENT.

WE COULD BE NEXT! Sullivan: DON'T PANIC-- WE CAN DO THIS.

Sullivan: HEY, HOW YOU DOING, FRANK? HEY, GUYS.

Sullivan: EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE OKAY. ( gasping ) ( equipment buzzing loudly ) NUMBER ONE WANTS THIS PLACE DUSTED FOR PRINTS.

CAREFUL WITH THAT.

I GOT A GOOD VIEW FROM HERE.

A LITTLE LOWER.

THIS WAS RECOVERED AT THE SCENE.

Sullivan: DON'T PANIC.

Mike: DON'T TELL ME NOT TO PANIC.

Sullivan: JUST KEEP IT TOGETHER.

Mike: EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY! BOO: BOO.

...COULD BE CONTAMINATED.

Waternoose: GENTLEMEN, SAFETY IS OUR NUMBER ONE CONCERN.

IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT... Waternoose: NOT NOW, NOT NOW.

OH, HELLO, LITTLE ONE. WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? Sullivan: MR. WATERNOOSE! Waternoose: AH, JAMES! IS THIS ONE YOURS? Sullivan: ACTUALLY, THAT'S MY, UH, COUSIN'S SISTER'S DAUGHTER, SIR.

Mike: YEAH, IT'S, UH...

"BRING AN OBSCURE RELATIVE TO WORK DAY." Waternoose: HMM, MUST HAVE MISSED THE MEMO. WELL, LISTEN, JAMES, WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY THE SIMULATOR AFTER LUNCH TODAY AND GIVE US THAT SCARE DEMONSTRATION WE TALKED ABOUT, HUH? Sullivan: OH, OH, SIR, UH....

EXCUSE ME, MR. WATERNOOSE? Waternoose: YES, YES, I'M COMING.

ALL RIGHT THEN, I'LL SEE YOU THIS AFTERNOON, JAMES.

THAT IS, IF THESE GENTLEMEN HAVEN'T SHUT US DOWN.

Sullivan: OH, BOY.

Mike: OH, A SCARE DEMO.

WELL, THAT IS GREAT. WHY AM I THE LAST TO KNOW? WE CAN BRING YOUR COUSIN'S SISTER'S DAUGHTER ALONG.

SHE'LL BE A BIG HIT! ( equipment buzzing loudly ) HALT! ( yelling ) STOP HIM! HOLD HIM DOWN.

Mike: COME ON, THE COAST IS CLEAR.

OKAY, ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GET RID OF THAT THING.

SO, WAIT HERE WHILE I GET ITS CARD KEY.

Sullivan: BUT SHE CAN'T STAY HERE. THIS IS THE MEN'S ROOM.

Mike: THAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING YOU HAVE EVER SAID.

IT'S FINE. IT'S OKAY. LOOK, IT LOVES IT HERE! IT'S DANCING WITH JOY! UH, UH, UH, UH.

Mike: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ITS DOOR KEY.

Sullivan: ( laughs ) THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE DANCE YOU'VE GOT.

IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT TO...

( whining ) Sullivan: OH.

( singing in baby talk ) ( singing stops ) Sullivan: UH, ARE YOU DONE IN THERE? Boo: ( squeals ) Sullivan: AH! SORRY. SORRY.

( singing ) ( toilet flushes ) Sullivan: OKAY, YOU FINISHED NOW, RIGHT? HELLO? ( yells ) Boo: BOO.

( giggles ) Sullivan: ( sighs ) ( giggling ) ( chuckles ) Sullivan: WHERE DID SHE GO? OH, DID SHE DISAPPEAR? DID SHE TURN INVISIBLE? ( giggling softly ) I JUST HAVE NO IDEA.

Sullivan: GOTCHA! Boo: BOO.

( giggles ) Sullivan: HEY, YOU'RE GOOD. (sighs)

Mike: BE RELAXED, BE RELAXED, BE RELAXED. ROZ, MY TENDER, OOZING BLOSSOM YOU'RE LOOKING FABULOUS TODAY. IS THAT A NEW HAIRCUT? COME ON, TELL ME.

IT'S A NEW HAIRCUT, ISN'T IT? THAT'S GOT TO BE A NEW HAIRCUT.

NEW MAKEUP? YOU'VE HAD A LIFT.

YOU'VE HAD A TUCK. YOU'VE HAD SOMETHING.

SOMETHING HAS BEEN INSERTED IN YOUR SKIN THAT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE...

(sighs) Mike: LISTEN, I NEED A FAVOR.

RANDALL WAS WORKING LATE LAST NIGHT OUT ON THE SCARE FLOOR.

I REALLY NEED THE KEY FOR THE DOOR HE WAS USING.

Roz: WELL, ISN'T THAT NICE? BUT GUESS WHAT? YOU DIDN'T TURN IN YOUR PAPERWORK LAST NIGHT.

Mike: HE DIDN'T... I... NO PAPERWORK?

Roz: THIS OFFICE IS NOW CLOSED.

Mike: ( Mike screams in pain )

Sullivan: READY OR NOT, HERE I COME! I'M GETTING WARMER. ANY SECOND NOW. FEE FI FO...

Mike: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Sullivan: I-I'M LOOKING FOR THE KID.

Mike: YOU LOST IT?!

Sullivan: NO, NO, SHE WAS JUST....

( squeals ) Sullivan: HERE SHE IS.

( whining ) HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER? RANDALL: I ALREADY TOLD YOUR BUDDIES I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING.

CDA AGENT: ALL RIGHT, CARRY ON.

( splashing ) Fungus: RANDALL! Randall: Aah! Fungus: THANK GOODNESS! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THE CHILD? Randall: SHH! SHH, SHH, SHH.

( door slams open ) ( door slams open ) Fungus: THE FRONT PAGE! IT'S ON THE FRONT PAGE.

THE CHILD-- THE ONE YOU WERE AFTER.

Randall: WILL YOU BE QUIET?! DON'T YOU THINK I'M AWARE OF THE SITUATION? I WAS UP ALL NIGHT TRYING TO FIND IT.

Fungus: I DID A SIMPLE CALCULATION FACTORING IN THE SIZE OF THE SUSHI RESTAURANT.

THE CHILD MAY HAVE ESCAPED! Randall: YEAH, WELL, UNTIL WE KNOW FOR SURE WE'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED, UNDERSTAND? YOU JUST GET THE MACHINE UP AND RUNNING.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE KID.

AND WHEN I FIND WHOEVER LET IT OUT, THEY'RE DEAD! OH! Randall: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? COME ON, GO! MOVE! NOW! FUNGUS: OW, OW! I'M NOT HERE.

SULLIVAN: (WHISPERING) They're gone.

( squeaking and splashing ) BOO: Ew.

MIKE: THIS IS BAD. THIS IS SO VERY BAD.

Sullivan: WHAT WERE THEY TALKING ABOUT A MACHINE?

Mike: WHO CARES? OH!

Sullivan: LOOK, DON'T PANIC-- ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS CALL HER DOOR DOWN AND SEND HER HOME.

Mike: YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.

WE'RE JUST TWO REGULAR JOES ON OUR WAY TO WORK.

WE WILL BLEND RIGHT IN.

Sullivan: TOP OF THE MORNIN', FELLAS! Mike: HEY, WHAT'S SHAKIN', BACON? Sullivan: DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT? OR A LIMB? YOU HAVE HER CARD KEY, RIGHT? Mike: OF COURSE.

I TOLD YOU I'D GET HER CARD KEY.

I WENT AND GOT HER CARD KEY AND NOW I HAVE HER CARD KEY.

Mike: OKAY, HERE WE GO.

Sullivan: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

TRY NOT TO RUN THROUGH ANY MORE CLOSETS.

( giggles ) Sullivan: MIKE, THAT'S NOT HER DOOR.

Mike: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? OF COURSE IT'S HER DOOR. IT'S HER DOOR.

Sullivan: NO, HER DOOR WAS WHITE AND IT HAD FLOWERS ON IT.

Mike: NO. IT MUST HAVE BEEN DARK LAST NIGHT BECAUSE THIS IS ITS DOOR.

( polka music playing ) Mike: HEY, YOU HEAR THAT? SOUNDS LIKE FUN IN THERE! OKAY, SEND ME A POSTCARD, KID.

THAT'S MIKE WAZOWSKI, CARE OF 22 MIKE-WAZOWSKI- YOU-GOT-YOUR-LIFE-BACK LANE.

Boo: MOWKI KOWSKI.

Mike: VERY GOOD. NOW BON VOYAGE! BYE-BYE! COME ON. LOOK AT THE STICK. SEE THE STICK? GO GET THE STICK! GO FETCH.

Sullivan: MIKE, THIS ISN'T BOO'S DOOR.

Mike: BOO? WHAT'S BOO?

Sullivan: THAT'S WHAT I DECIDED TO CALL HER.

IS THERE A PROBLEM? Mike: SULLEY, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO NAME IT.

ONCE YOU NAME IT, YOU START GETTING ATTACHED TO IT! NOW PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM, OR SO HELP ME...

Mike: OH, HEY! WE'RE REHEARSING A SCENE FOR THE UPCOMING COMPANY PLAY CALLED PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME.

( Mike laughing ) IT'S A MUSICAL! ♪ PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME ♪ Sullivan: ♪ BOM-BOM, BOM-BOM, BOM-BOM... ♪ Mike: ♪ SO HELP ME, SO HELP ME. ♪ AND CUT! WE'RE STILL WORKING ON IT. IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS BUT, HEY, WE NEED USHERS.

Mike: SULLEY, I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

NOW SAY GOOD-BYE TO... Mike: WHERE'D IT GO? WHAT'D YOU DO WITH IT? Sullivan: ( gasps ) WHERE IS SHE? Mike: I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

SHE GOT AWAY FROM YOU AGAIN?! WELL, THAT IS JUST...

WAIT A MINUTE. THE SUN IS COMING UP.

THIS IS PERFECT! SHE'S GONE! Mike: HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? Mike: SULLEY, PLEASE, DON'T BLOW THIS.

NOT WHEN WE'RE SO CLOSE TO BREAKING THE RECORD.

SOMEBODY ELSE WILL FIND THE KID.

Mike: IT'LL BE THEIR PROBLEM, NOT OURS! SHE'S OUT OF OUR HAIR! Randall: WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING? THEY'RE REHEARSING A PLAY.

Mike: ♪ SHE'S OUT OF OUR HAIR! ♪ Randall: CAN IT, WAZOWSKI! SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT KID GETTING OUT, SULLIVAN? PRETTY CRAZY, HUH? Sullivan: OH, YEAH, CRAZY.

Randall: WORD ON THE STREET IS THE KID'S BEEN TRACED BACK TO THIS FACTORY.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING, HAVE YOU? Sullivan: UH, WELL, UH...

Mike: NO, NO WAY! BUT IF IT WAS AN INSIDE JOB I'D PUT MY MONEY ON WAXFORD.

Randall: WAXFORD? YEAH, THE ONE AT STATION 6.

YOU KNOW, HE'S GOT THEM SHIFTY EYES.

HEY, WAXFORD! Mike: SULLEY! CELIA: MICHAEL WAZOWSKI! ( whimpers ) Celia: LAST NIGHT WAS ONE OF THE WORST NIGHTS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE, BAR NONE! ( hissing ) Celia: I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME.

Mike: HONEY, PLEASE.

SCHMOOPSIE, I THOUGHT YOU LIKED SUSHI.

CELIA: SUSHI? SUSHI?!! YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT SUSHI?! Randall: WAZOWSKI! Celia: MICHAEL! MIKE...

MEN.

( panting ) BREATHE. KEEP BREATHING.

WHEW.

Mike: YIKES! Randall: WHERE'S THE KID? Mike: KID? WHAT KID? Randall: IT'S HERE IN THE FACTORY, ISN'T IT? Mike: YOU'RE NOT PINNING THIS ON ME.

IT NEVER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT IF YOU HADN'T BEEN CHEATING LAST NIGHT! Randall: CHEATING? Randall: CHEATING. RIGHT.

OKAY, I THINK I KNOW HOW TO MAKE THIS ALL GO AWAY.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE WHISTLE BLOWS IN 5 MINUTES?

Mike: UH... I GET A TIME-OUT?

Randall: EVERYONE GOES TO LUNCH! WHICH MEANS THE SCARE FLOOR WILL BE...?

Mike: PAINTED?

Randall: EMPTY! IT'LL BE EMPTY, YOU IDIOT! YOU SEE THAT CLOCK? Randall: WHEN THE BIG HAND IS POINTING UP Randall: AND THE LITTLE HAND IS POINTING UP

Randall: THE KID'S DOOR WILL BE IN MY STATION.

BUT WHEN THE BIG HAND POINTS DOWN

Mike: Ooh!

Randall: THE DOOR WILL BE GONE.

YOU HAVE UNTIL THEN TO PUT THE KID BACK.

GET THE PICTURE? ( roaring playfully ) Sullivan: BOO! ( giggles ) Sullivan: NO.

CDA: HEY, YOU! HALT! HE'S THE ONE. THE ONE FROM THE COMMERCIAL! AFFIRMATIVE. THAT'S HIM. CAN WE GET AN AUTOGRAPH?

Sullivan: OH, OH, SURE. NO PROBLEM.

YOU CAN MAKE THAT OUT TO BETHANY, MY DAUGHTER.

Sullivan: YES. LET'S SEE.... "FROM YOUR SCARY FRIEND BEST WISHES..." Needleman: SO I SAID, "IF YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, WE'RE THROUGH!" Smitty: WHAT'D SHE SAY? Needleman: YOU KNOW MY MOM.

SHE SENT ME TO MY ROOM.

Sullivan: SEE YOU GUYS LATER, TAKE IT EASY.

Needleman: BOTTOMS UP! ( gasps in horror ) NO! ( singing ) WHOA! HEY.

( growling ) OH, WELL, HELLO, THERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Boo: MIKE WAZOWSKI! ( machinery pounding loudly ) ( grinding and chopping ) ( panting ) ( moans )

Mike: SULLEY! OH, SULLEY. OKAY, SULLEY, COME ON, ENOUGH. HEY, YOU GUYS SEEN SULLEY ANYWHERE?

George: NOPE. SORRY.

Mike: OH, SULLEY!

George: BOY, WAZOWSKI LOOKS LIKE HE'S IN TROUBLE.

( squeaking and quacking ) 2319! WE HAVE A 2319!

George: OH, DEAR.

GET HIM!

Mike: SULLEY? SULLEY! ( moaning ) Mike: SULLEY! OH, GREAT NEWS, PAL. I GOT US A WAY OUT OF THIS MESS BUT WE GOT TO HURRY. WHERE IS IT? ( whimpering ) Mike: SULL, THAT'S A CUBE OF GARBAGE.

( squeaks ) Mike: UH-OH.

Sullivan: I-I CAN STILL HEAR HER LITTLE VOICE.

BOO: MIKE WAZOWSKI! Mike: HEY, I CAN HEAR HER, TOO.

BABY MONSTERS: MIKE WAZOWSKI! Mike: HOW MANY KIDS YOU GOT IN THERE? MIKE WAZOWSKI!

Boo: KITTY!

Sullivan: BOO! BOO, OH, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT! I WAS SO WORRIED! DON'T YOU EVER RUN AWAY FROM ME AGAIN, YOUNG LADY! OH, BUT I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE SAFE.

MY, WHAT AN AFFECTIONATE FATHER.

Sullivan: ACTUALLY, SHE'S MY COUSIN'S SISTER'S...

Mike: OKAY, SULLEY. THAT'S ENOUGH. LET'S GO.

MIKE WAZOWSKI!

Mike: YEAH, YEAH. STEP ASIDE, KID. WE'RE IN A...

( screams in pain ) ( boo laughing ) ( kids screaming and crying ) Sullivan: WILL YOU STOP MAKING BOO LAUGH? Mike: I DIDN'T, SO COME ON! ( screaming and crying continue ) Sullivan: I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU'VE GOT BOO'S DOOR?

Mike: I'LL EXPLAIN LATER. RUN. OKAY, LET'S MOVE. COME ON. OH, PLEASE BE THERE, PLEASE BE THERE, PLEASE BE THERE. THERE IT IS! JUST LIKE RANDALL SAID!

Sullivan: RANDALL? WHAT A MINUTE.

( cries out in fear ) Sullivan: OH, HEY.

Mike: 1, 2, 3, 4! GET THE KID BACK THROUGH THE DOOR! HEY, HEY.

WE'RE GOING TO GET OUR LIVES BACK. THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER.

Sullivan: HEY, IT'S OKAY, BOO.

Mike: WHAT'S THE MATTER? COME ON, IT'S TIME TO MOVE! Sullivan: MIKE, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WE CAN'T TRUST RANDALL. HE'S AFTER BOO.

Mike: WHO CARES? LET'S GO. THIS IS A LIMITED TIME OFFER.

Sullivan: NO, NO. I DON'T LIKE THIS.

Mike: LOOK, SULLEY, YOU WANTED HER DOOR AND THERE IT IS.

NOW, LET'S MOVE.

Sullivan: NO, MIKE.

Mike: ( sighs ) YOU WANT ME TO PROVE EVERYTHING'S ON THE UP-AND-UP? FINE! HE WANTS THE DOOR, I GET THE DOOR...

Mike: ( whispering ) MIKE, WAIT! HE'S A PARANOID DELUSIONAL FURBALL.

Sullivan: MIKE! ( whimpers in fear ) ( whining ) SHH, SHH, SHH.

( small cry of surprise ) ( lunch bell rings ) Jerry: HEY, SULLEY, WHERE YOU BEEN ALL DAY? SULLEY? SULLEY? Sullivan: HUH? Sullivan: ( whispering ) MIKE? MIKE? WHERE ARE YOU? YOU IN THERE? WHERE ARE YOU, BUDDY? MIKE? HEY.

( door thunks ) Boo: ( excited baby talk ) Sullivan: BOO, WAY TO GO.

( giggles ) Sullivan: IT'S OKAY.

( door clunks shut ) ( pipes whistling and venting ) ( distant voices ) RANDALL: YES! I GOT THE KID! FUNGUS: OH, HUZZAH! THAT'S GREAT NEWS.

NOT THAT I WAS CONCERNED, OF COURSE.

Randall: JUST GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME! Randall: COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

WHILE WE'RE YOUNG HERE, FUNGUS! ( both straining ) Randall: KID NEEDS TO TAKE OFF A FEW POUNDS.

( yelps ) Randall: WAZOWSKI?! WHERE IS IT, YOU LITTLE ONE-EYED CRETIN?

Mike: OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, IT'S CREE-TIN. IF YOU'RE GOING TO THREATEN ME DO IT PROPERLY.

SECOND OF ALL, YOU'RE NUTS IF YOU THINK KIDNAPPING ME IS GOING TO HELP YOU CHEAT YOUR WAY TO THE TOP! ( chuckling evilly ) Randall: YOU STILL THINK THIS IS ABOUT THAT STUPID SCARE RECORD? Mike: WELL... I DID, RIGHT UP UNTIL YOU CHUCKLED LIKE THAT AND NOW I'M THINKING I SHOULD JUST GET OUT OF HERE.

Randall: I AM ABOUT TO REVOLUTIONIZE THE SCARING INDUSTRY AND WHEN I DO, EVEN THE GREAT JAMES P. SULLIVAN IS GOING TO BE WORKING FOR ME.

Mike: WELL, SOMEBODY'S CERTAINLY BEEN A BUSY BEE.

Randall: FIRST, I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE KID IS AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME.

Mike: YEAH, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

Randall: UH-HUH, SURE.

MIKE: I don't. I MEAN, I DON'T. UH-OH.

( mechanical clanging and grinding ) Mike: WHAT'S THAT? COME ON. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

OH-OH. OH-OH. OH, COME ON.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

COME ON, HEY, HEY, HEY.

THIS THING IS MOVING.

I DON'T LIKE BIG...

MOVING THINGS THAT ARE MOVING TOWARDS ME.

NO! COME ON! HEY, RANDALL! Randall: SAY HELLO TO THE SCREAM EXTRACTOR.

Mike: HELLO. COME ON, WHERE YOU GOING? WE'LL TALK.

COME ON, WE'LL HAVE A LATTE! COME ON. WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS.

( electrical whirring starts, then grows louder ) Mike: WHAT'S THAT THING? WHAT IS THAT THING? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! STOP, STOP! NO, NO! COME ON, HEY! ( deep, resonating whirring ) Mike: HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! ( yelling ) ( noise dies away ) Randall: OH, FOR...

WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG THIS TIME? Fungus: I DON'T KNOW. I CALIBRATED THE DRIVE...

Randall: GO CHECK THE MACHINE! Fungus: THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE SCREAM INTAKE VALVE.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH THESE 3250 UNITS...

Randall: HUH? Randall: HMM.

Mike: PSST! FUNGUS. FUNGUS.

YOU LIKE CARS, HUH? 'CAUSE I GOT A REALLY NICE CAR.

IF YOU LET ME GO, I'LL GIVE YOU...

A RIDE IN THE CAR. PLEASE, FUNGUS? Fungus: I'M SORRY, WAZOWSKI, BUT RANDALL SAID I'M NOT ALLOWED TO FRATERNIZE WITH VICTIMS OF HIS EVIL PLOT.

( gasps ) ( clanging ) HMM...

( zapping ) ( electrical whirring ) ( clanking, rattling, whirring ) ( gasps ) ( muffled screams ) Randall: WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE'S WAZOWSKI? ( muffled screams ) ( shuts off machine ) Randall: WHERE IS HE?! ( whimpering ) ( growls ) ( whimpering, squeals ) Mike: COME ON! THIS IS CRAZY. HE'S GOING TO KILL US! CDA AGENT 1: CAREFUL. THAT COULD BE CONTAMINATED.

Mike: WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW! WE CAN START A WHOLE NEW LIFE SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY. GOOD-BYE, MONSTERS, INC.! GOOD-BYE, MR. WATERNOOSE!

Sullivan: NO, MIKE, WAIT!

Mike: HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Sullivan: FOLLOW ME. I HAVE AN IDEA.

Mike: NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...

Computer voice: ( over P.A. ) Simulation terminated.

WATERNOOSE: No, no, no, no, no. WHAT WAS THAT? YOU'RE TRYING TO SCARE THE KID, NOT LULL IT TO SLEEP!

Bile: I was going for a snake/ninja approach with a little hissing. ( hisses )

Waternoose: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? IT'S ALL ABOUT PRESENCE!

ABOUT HOW YOU ENTER THE ROOM!

Sullivan: MR. WATERNOOSE!

Waternoose: JAMES! PERFECT TIMING.

Sullivan:.NO, NO. SIR, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Waternoose: AH, NOW, SHOW THESE MONSTERS HOW IT'S DONE.

Sullivan: WHAT? NO, NO, I CAN'T... SIR, YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME.

Mike: Eeh!

Waternoose: PAY ATTENTION, EVERYONE. YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS. RESET THE SIMULATOR.

Sullivan: BUT-BUT, SIR!

GIRL: Good night, sweetheart.

ANIMATRONIC BOY: Good night, Mom.

MAN: Sleep, tight kiddo.

Boo: KITTY!

Mike: NO, BOO, NO, NO!

Waternoose: NOW, GIVE US A BIG, LOUD ROAR.

Sullivan: MR. WATERNOOSE, THERE'S NO TIME FOR THIS!

Waternoose: COME ON, COME ON! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? ROAR!

Sullivan: BUT-BUT-BUT, SIR!

Waternoose: ROAR!

( groans ) ( roars like a lion) ( screaming) ( squeals ) ( Boo crying ) ( students applauding )

WATERNOOSE: Well done. WELL DONE, JAMES.

Sullivan: BOO?

Waternoose: RIGHT THIS WAY, EVERYONE.

ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN, I HOPE YOU'VE LEARNED...

...A VALUABLE LESSON IN SCARING TODAY.

( fearful whimper ) ( whines softly ) Sullivan: BOO.

( nervous grunt ) ( whining ) Sullivan: BOO? ( panicked grunts ) ( door slams ) BOO, IT'S ME.

( squealing ) Waternoose: ( gasps ) THE CHILD! Mike: SIR, SHE ISN'T TOXIC.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT TRUST ME.

Sullivan: BOO? NO, NO, NO, NO. IT'S OKAY.

I WAS JUST...

( whimpering in fear ) Sullivan: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, DON'T BE SCARED.

THAT WASN'T REAL. IT'S JUST A...

I WAS JUST...

( crying ): NO...

( Boo continues crying ) ( Boo sobbing ) Sullivan: BOO.

MIKE: ...and he was going to test it out on that sweet, little girl.

NOW THAT WE HAVE HER...

Sullivan: BOO.

Mike: ...HE IS TRYING TO KILL US.

THIS WHOLE THING IS RANDALL'S FAULT.

Waternoose: RANDALL? Mike: YES. AND WE CAN TAKE YOU TO HIS SECRET LAB, WHICH IS RIGHT HERE IN THIS FACTORY.

Waternoose: HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? OH, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW ABOUT THIS? Mike: NO, SIR.

Waternoose: GOOD.

THIS COMPANY CAN'T AFFORD ANY MORE BAD PUBLICITY.

NOW, BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING ELSE, LET'S...

TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD.

Waternoose: OH, I NEVER THOUGHT THINGS WOULD COME TO THIS...

NOT IN MY FACTORY.

I'M SORRY YOU BOYS GOT MIXED UP IN THIS.

ESPECIALLY YOU, JAMES.

BUT NOW WE CAN SET EVERYTHING STRAIGHT AGAIN FOR THE GOOD OF THE COMPANY.

( whirring ) ( thunk )

Mike: UH... SIR, That's not her door.

Waternoose: I KNOW, I KNOW.

Waternoose: IT'S YOURS.

( startled gasps ) ( grunts ) Mike/Sullivan (BOTH): ( yelling ) Sullivan: NO! ( gasps ) Sullivan: ( voice echoing ) BOO! Sullivan: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Mike: IT'S TOO LATE! WE'RE BANISHED, GENIUS. WE'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD! OH, WHAT A GREAT IDEA, GOING TO YOUR OLD PAL WATERNOOSE! TOO BAD HE WAS IN ON THE WHOLE THING! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LISTEN TO ME JUST ONCE! BUT YOU DIDN'T, DID YOU? Mike: YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING! ( yelling ) Mike: TAKE THAT! ( growling ) ( gasps in horror )

Yeti: WELCOME TO THE HIMALAYAS! Yeti: "ABOMINABLE"! ( chuckle ) CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? DO I LOOK ABOMINABLE TO YOU? Yeti: WHY CAN'T THEY CALL ME THE ADORABLE SNOWMAN OR...OR THE AGREEABLE SNOWMAN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD? I'M A NICE GUY. SNOW CONE?

Mike: YUCK.

Yeti: NO, NO, NO.

DON'T WORRY-- IT'S LEMON.

UH, HOW ABOUT YOU, BIG FELLA? SNOW CONE? Sullivan: DID YOU SEE THE WAY SHE... LOOKED AT ME? ( sighs ) Yeti: AH, POOR GUY.

I UNDERSTAND.

Yeti: IT AIN'T EASY BEING BANISHED.

TAKE MY BUDDY, BIGFOOT. WHEN HE WAS BANISHED HE FASHIONED AN ENORMOUS DIAPER OUT OF POISON IVY.

WORE IT ON HIS HEAD LIKE A TIARA.

CALLED HIMSELF KING ITCHY.

Yeti: AH, IT WON'T BE SO HARD FOR YOU GUYS, THOUGH, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, HOW LUCKY CAN YOU GET? BANISHED WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND.

Mike: HE IS NOT MY FRIEND.

Yeti: OH. I JUST ASSUMED YOU WERE BUDDIES, YOU KNOW WHEN I SAW YOU OUT THERE IN THE SNOW HUGGING AND ALL THAT.

Mike: LOOK AT THAT BIG JERK.

RUINED MY LIFE, AND FOR WHAT? A STUPID KID! BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM NOW STUCK IN THIS FROZEN WASTELAND! Yeti: WASTELAND? I THINK YOU MEAN WONDERLAND! I MEAN, HOW ABOUT ALL THIS FABULOUS SNOW, HUH? OH, AND WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE LOCAL VILLAGE.

CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD.

I HAVEN'T EVEN MENTIONED ALL THE FREE YAK'S MILK.

Sullivan: WHAT... WHAT DID YOU SAY? Yeti: YAK'S MILK.

MILKING A YAK AIN'T EXACTLY A PICNIC.

YOU KNOW, ONCE YOU PICK THE HAIRS OUT IT'S VERY NUTRITIOUS.

Sullivan: NO, NO. SOMETHING ABOUT A VILLAGE.

WHERE? ARE THERE KIDS IN IT? Yeti: KIDS? SURE.

TOUGH KIDS, SISSY KIDS, KIDS WHO CLIMB ON ROCKS...

Sullivan: WHERE IS IT?! Yeti: IT'S AT THE BOTTOM OF THE MOUNTAIN.

AROUND A THREE-DAY HIKE.

Sullivan: OH, THREE DAYS?! WE NEED TO GET THERE NOW! ( thump ) ( ding ) Yeti: YOU WANT TO GO TO THE VILLAGE? OKAY, RULE NUMBER ONE OUT HERE.

ALWAYS... NO.

NEVER GO OUT IN A BLIZZARD.

Sullivan: WE NEED TO GET TO BOO.

( grunts, then gasps ) Mike: BOO?! WHAT ABOUT US? ( grunts ) Mike: EVER SINCE THAT KID CAME IN, YOU'VE IGNORED EVERYTHING I'VE SAID AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE! Mike: OH, WE WERE ABOUT TO BREAK THE RECORD, SULLEY.

WE WOULD HAVE HAD IT MADE! NONE OF THAT MATTERS NOW.

NONE OF IT MATTER...

WA-WAIT A SECOND.

Sullivan: NONE OF IT MATTERS? ( sighs ) MIKE: Okay.

THAT'S.... NO. GOOD. GREAT.

SO, NOW THE TRUTH COMES OUT, DOESN'T IT? Yeti: OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT? WE'RE OUT OF SNOW CONES, UH...

LET ME... JUST GO OUTSIDE AND MAKE SOME MORE.

Mike: SULLEY, WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WE EVER WORKED FOR? DOES THAT MATTER? HUH? Mike: AND WHAT ABOUT CELIA? I AM NEVER... NEVER GOING TO SEE HER AGAIN.

DOESN'T THAT MATTER? ( sighs ) WHAT ABOUT ME? I'M YOUR PAL.

I'M... I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND.

DON'T I MATTER? ( sighs ) Sullivan: I'M SORRY, MIKE.

I'M SORRY WE'RE STUCK OUT HERE.

I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.

BUT BOO'S IN TROUBLE.

I THINK THERE MIGHT BE A WAY TO SAVE HER IF WE CAN JUST GET DOWN TO THAT...

Mike: "WE"? WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. "WE"? NO. THERE'S NO "WE" THIS TIME, PAL.

IF-IF-IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT THERE AND FREEZE TO DEATH YOU BE MY GUEST...

BECAUSE YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

♪ ♪ ( wind whistles ) Yeti: HEY, I GOT MORE SNOW CONES! OHH! Sullivan: AHH! AHH! ( yells ) ( grunting and groaning ) ( wind howling ) ( distant child screaming )

Charlie: OH, COME ON, NOW, GEORGE. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. I PICKED OUT AN EASY DOOR FOR YOU-- IN NEPAL. NICE, QUIET NEPAL.

George: YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. HERE, TAKE THIS.

Charlie: GO GET 'EM, GEORGIE!

Sullivan: GANGWAY! LOOK OUT! COMING THROUGH! Sullivan: SORRY, GEORGE.

Charlie: HEY, YOU CAN'T JUST... ( gasps ) 23... ( gagging ) ( whistling )

Sullivan: OUT OF THE WAY! HEY! WHOA! DON'T! ( whimpers )

Waternoose: Finally! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED YOU WITH THIS. BECAUSE OF YOU, I HAD TO BANISH MY TOP SCARER!

Randall: AH, WITH THIS MACHINE, WE WON'T NEED SCARERS. BESIDES, SULLIVAN GOT WHAT HE DESERVED.

Waternoose: SULLIVAN WAS TWICE THE SCARER YOU WILL EVER BE! ( low growl ) ( panting ) ( clanging ) ( yells with effort ) ( mechanical whirring ) Boo: KITTY! ( whirring and hissing ) ( yelling ) ( shrieking ) ( roaring like a lion ) Boo: KITTY!

Waternoose: SULLIVAN? ( grunting ) WH-WHOA!

Boo: KITTY!

Sullivan: SORRY, BOO.

Waternoose: STOP HIM! ( growls ) Sullivan: LET'S GET YOU HOME.

( blow lands ) OOH! WATERNOOSE: Finish him off! OH! OOH! OH! ( clanging ) ( thunk ) Randall: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WANTED TO DO THAT, SULLIVAN!

( chuckle ) ( punches landing ) HAH! OOH! ( shrieks ) Sullivan: OOH! MIKE? Mike: LOOK, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE KID.

Sullivan: MIKE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Mike: YES, I DO. I WAS JUST MAD, THAT'S ALL!

I NEEDED SOME TIME TO THINK.

BUT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT ME OUT THERE!

Sullivan: I'M BEING ATTACKED! Mike: NO, I'M NOT ATTACKING YOU.

I'M TRYING TO BE HONEST.

JUST HEAR ME OUT. YOU AND I ARE A TEAM.

NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN OUR FRIENDSHIP.

Mike: I-I-I KNOW, KID. HE'S TOO SENSITIVE.

( choking ) Mike: COME ON, PAL. IF YOU START CRYING, I'M GOING TO CRY AND I'LL NEVER GET THROUGH THIS.

Mike: I'M SORRY I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU, BUT I AM NOW.

OW!

Mike: SULLEY, I AM BARING MY SOUL HERE. THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS PAY ATTENTION!

( yells in pain )

( sighs in relief )

Mike: HEY, LOOK AT THAT-- IT'S RANDALL! IT'S... OH.

Sullivan: COME ON!

WATERNOOSE: GET UP! THERE CAN'T BE ANY WITNESSES!

Randall: There won't be.

Sullivan: I'm glad you came back, Mike.

Mike: SOMEBODY'S GOT TAKE CARE OF YOU, YOU BIG HAIRBALL.

( Celia screaming ) ( screaming ) OW! Mike: SCHMOOPSIE-POO, I REALLY CAN'T TALK.

Sullivan: COME ON! Celia: MICHAEL, IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW, WE ARE THROUGH! YOU HEAR ME? THROUGH!

Mike: HERE'S THE TRUTH. YOU KNOW THE KID THAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR? SULLEY LET HER IN. WE TRIED TO SEND HER BACK BUT WATERNOOSE HAD THIS SECRET PLOT AND NOW RANDALL'S RIGHT BEHIND US AND HE'S TRYING TO KILL US!

Celia: YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT PACK OF LIES, MIKE WAZOWSKI?!

Boo: MIKE WAZOWSKI!

( startled yell )

Mike: I LOVE YOU, SCHMOOPSIE-POO!

RANDALL: Move it! Look out, you...

OH! ...IDIOT! ( huffing ) Mike: LOOK OUT. COMING THROUGH, HERE, COMING THROUGH! MAKE WAY. MOVE IT! HURRY UP, HURRY UP.

Randall: THERE THEY ARE!

CELIA: ( over P.A. ) Attention, employees: Randall Boggs HAS JUST BROKEN THE ALL-TIME SCARE RECORD.

Randall: HUH? NO, I DIDN'T. GET OUT OF MY WAY!

( clamoring )

Celia: GO GET 'EM, GOOGLEY BEAR!

( Boo shrieks )

Mike: THERE IT IS!

RANDALL: Get off my tail! Let me through!

Mike: SULLEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Sullivan: GRAB ON, MIKE! Mike: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR...? ( screaming ) ( whirring ) ( Mike whimpering ) MIKE: Sulley, what are we doing? Sullivan: WE HAVE TO GET BOO'S DOOR AND FIND A STATION.

MIKE: What a plan. Simple, yet insane! ( growls ) Sullivan: WHOA.

Mike: OH, BOY. ( gasps ) Sullivan: HOLD ON! ( Mike screaming ) ( screaming ) Mike: WOW! Sullivan: DON'T LOOK DOWN! ( teeth chattering ) ( rattling ) ( startled gasp ) ( screaming ) ( shrieking ) Mike: I'M GONNA BE SICK. I'M GONNA BE SICK! WHOA! ( screaming ) Mike: OH, NO! ( chugging and clanking ) Sullivan: NO! AAH...

Sullivan: BOO'S DOOR? Mike: THERE IT IS! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET IT NOW? OH, IT'S A DEAD END, SULLEY! (GASPS) There he is.

Sullivan: MAKE HER LAUGH.

Mike: WHAT, SULLEY?!

Sullivan: JUST DO IT!

Mike: OH... OW! ( laughing ) ( squealing laughter ) ( engines starting ) SULLIVAN: Get it open.

Mike: HERE HE COMES.

Randall: GIVE ME THAT KID! ( birds twittering ) ( Boo giggling )

Mike: WHY COULDN'T WE GET BANISHED HERE?

Sullivan: COME ON. WE GOT TO FIND ANOTHER DOOR. ( gasps ) LOOK, BOO'S DOOR! ( grunting )

Mike: THERE HE IS! HURRY UP, HURRY UP!

Sullivan: GIVE ME YOUR HAND.

( screaming )

Mike: COME ON, IT SLIDES, IT SLIDES!

Sullivan: OOH, RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.

( gasps )

Mike: JUMP! I'M BEHIND YOU!

Sullivan: COME ON!

Mike: HURRY UP! KEEP MOVING!

Sullivan: GET INSIDE!

Mike: OOH! THAT WAS WEIRD.

Sullivan: MIKE? OH, SORRY, BUDDY.

Mike: ( stunned mumbling ) ( growls ) OH! Mike: I HOPE THAT HURT, LIZARD BOY! ( laughing )

Sullivan: GREAT JOB, BUDDY. WE LOST HIM. ( squeals ) BOO!

Randall: HA, HA!

Sullivan: NO!

Mike/Sullivan (BOTH): ( screaming )

Randall: NICE WORKING WITH YOU!

Sullivan: GET IT OPEN!

Mike: I'M TRYING!

Sullivan: OPEN THE DOOR!

Mike: COME ON, GET IN HERE! ( Boo crying ) Sullivan: BOO! Sullivan: THERE THEY ARE! Mike: SULLEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SULLEY! Mike: LOOKS LIKE WE CAUGHT THE EXPRESS, PAL.

Sullivan: DO YOU SEE THEM?

Mike: STRAIGHT AHEAD!

Boo: No... (stifled cry)

Boo: KITTY!

Sullivan: Boo!

Randall: LOOK AT EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE SCARER NOW! YOU STUPID, PATHETIC WASTE!

Randall: YOU'VE BEEN NUMBER ONE FOR TOO LONG, SULLIVAN. NOW YOUR TIME IS UP! AND DON'T WORRY. I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE KID.

Sullivan: NO!

Randall: (screaming yelling)

(Boo grunting and Randall gagging)

(Boo grab the baseball bat and hit and smack Randall on his head)

(roaring angrily)

Sullivan: SHE'S NOT SCARED OF YOU ANYMORE.

(roars angrily)

Sullivan: LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OUT OF A JOB.

(gulps)

Mike: ALL RIGHT, COME ON, OVER THE PLATE.

LET'S SEE THE OL' STUFF HERE, PAL.

COME ON, NOW, CHUCK HIM, CHUCK HIM, BABY. HUM, BABY.

Randall: WAIT, PLEASE, DON'T DON'T!

HUM, BABY, HERE'S THE PITCH.

Randall: NO!

Mike: AND HE IS... OUT OF HERE! (crickets chirping)

BOY: Mama, 'nother gator got in the house! WOMEN: 'Nother gator?! GIVE ME THAT SHOVEL! COME HERE! (clanging, yelling) BOY: GET HIM, MAMA! GET THAT GATOR! Sullivan: CARE TO DO THE HONORS, MIKEY? Mike: WITH PLEASURE.

(thud)

Boo: (baby talk)

Sullivan: THAT'S RIGHT, BOO. YOU DID IT. YOU BEAT HIM. Boo: (raspberry) Sullivan: COME ON.

Sullivan: OKAY, BOO, IT'S TIME TO GO HOME. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND BE A GOOD GIRL, OKAY? (gasps) Mike: OH, NO! Sullivan: THE POWER'S OUT! MAKE HER LAUGH AGAIN.

Mike: ALL RIGHT, I GOT A MOVE HERE. IT'LL BRING DOWN THE HOUSE. UP... (metallic clang) Mike: ( groans softly) Sullivan: OH, SORRY, SHE DIDN'T SEE THAT. Mike: WHAT?! WHAT'D YOU DO, FORGET TO CHECK IF HER STUPID HOOD WAS UP, YA BIG DOPE?! Sullivan: (singsong): UNCLE MIKE, TRY NOT TO YELL IN FRONT OF HER. YOU KNOW WE STILL NEED HER TO LAUGH.

Mike: RIGHT. (laughs) HEY, BOO, JUST KIDDING. LOOK! (gibberish) STAYING! (gibberish) STOP! (gibberish poop) Mike: THESE ARE THE JOKES, KID. WHOA! WHAT'S HAPPENING? SULLIVAN: Hold on!

(INT. SCARE FLOOR. Waternoose stands at an EMPTY DOOR STATION with Boo's card key in his claw. (He addresses a group of CDA agents)) Waternoose: When the door lands in this station, cut the power. You'll have the child and the criminals responsible for this whole mess. (Boo's door sails out of the vault corridor and into the Scare Floor. Sullivan, Mike and Boo peek out from behind the door and see Waternoose and the CDA agents below)

Mike: (stage whisper) Great. A welcoming committee! What are we going to do? (Sullivan has an idea) (The door lands in the station. The power shuts off)

CDA Agent: This is the CDA. Come out slowly with the child in plain sight.

(Mike emerges from behind the door, carrying Boo)

Mike: Okay, okay. You got us. Here we are. Here's the kid. I'm cooperating. But before you take us away, I have one thing to say: (Mike sticks his tongue out. There's a sock on it!) (throwing sock) Catch! (It lands on an agent in the middle of the pack!) (The frenzied CDA agents pounce on the agent with the sock)

CDA Agents: (ALL SHOUTING) 2319! We have a toxic projectile! (Mike takes off, carrying Boo. The CDA agents see this and chase after them) CDA Agent #1: Halt! After the suspect! CDA Agent #2: Cover the area! Bring in reinforcements!

(Waternoose takes up the rear) Waternoose: Stop him! (As the commotion clears, Sullivan peeks out from behind Boo's door. Boo is with him, now out of her disguise and wearing only one sock) (Sullivan pops her door out of its station and heads for the exit) Sullivan: Come on.

(Waternoose hurries after the CDA agents) Waternoose: (re: Mike and Boo) Don't let them get away! What...? (CLANG! Waternoose spins around to see Sullivan, who has knocked over a stack of cans during his escape. Sulley scoops up Boo and her door and heads for the door) Waternoose: (calling to CDA) No, wait, wait! Come back! He has the child! (It's no use, the agents have already disappeared after Mike) (Something SNAPS. Waternoose lunges after Sullivan like a wild animal)

(INT. MI HALLWAY. Sullivan races down the hall, with Boo in one arm, and her door in the other. Waternoose clambers after them, closing in) Waternoose: Sullivan! Sullivan! Give me the child! Boo: Me not go! Waternoose: Give her to me!

(INT. SIMULATOR TRYOUT ROOM. Sullivan bursts through the door of the Simulator Room, Waternoose close behind) (Sulley breaks a PIPE off the wall and slides it through the door handles just as Waternoose SLAMS against the door) (Sulley lends the pipe around the handles to secure it) (He frantically removes the door currently in the station) WATERNOOSE: Open this door! Open this door! (Sulley replaces the simulator door with Boo's door) Waternoose: Sullivan! Boo: (YELLS) WATERNOOSE: Don't do it! (Sullivan pushes a button on the door station keypad, picks Boo up and runs inside) Sullivan: Come on. (Sullivan looks back at Waternoose) Waternoose: (screaming) Don't go in that room! (Sullivan closes the closet door behind him. Waternoose YELLS and beats against the Tryout Room door)

(INT. BOO'S ROOM. Sullivan stands over the bed, tucking in the sheets) Sullivan: I think we stopped him, Boo. You're safe now. You be a good girl, okay? (SLAM! Sulley turns to see Waternoose standing in the room, closing the door behind him) Waternoose: This has gone far enough, James. (Sullivan stands protectively in front of the bed) Sullivan: She's home now! Just leave her alone! Waternoose: I can't do that! She's seen too much. You both have. Sullivan: It doesn't have to be this way. Waternoose: I have no choice! Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore. (Waternoose closes in on Sullivan, raising up on his crab legs intimidatingly) Sullivan: But kidnapping children? Waternoose: I'll kidnap 1,000 children before I let this company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way! (Waternoose smacks Sullivan, sending him flying to the floor) Sullivan: No! (Waternoose grabs Boo from the bed)

BOY: Good night, Mom. MOTHER: Good night, sweetheart. Waternoose: What is this? What? Who? Huh? (Waternoose blinks, uncomprehending. The child isn't Boo at all, but the Animatronic Kid from the simulator) (The wall of the bedroom begins to rise) COMPUTER: Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated. Waternoose: Wha...? (INT. SIMULATOR/TRYOUT ROOM. Behind the fourth wall of the SIMULATOR, the TRYOUT ROOM is filled with yellow-suited CDA agents. Mike sits in the evaluator's chair)

Mike: Well, I don't know about the rest of you guys but I spotted several big mistakes. Waternoose: (STAMMERS) But, but, but how did? MIKE: You know what? Let's watch my favorite part again... Shall we? (Mike rewinds the tape and plays it)

Waternoose: (repeating): I'll kidnap 1,000 children before I let this company die. (Waternoose sees himself on the monitor) Waternoose: What...? Wha...? Waternoose: I'll kidnap 1,000 children before... (The CDA agents discuss the situation) (Boo peeks out from under the bed. Sullivan motions for her to stay quiet. She nods and crawls back) (CDA agents walk onto the stage and grab Waternoose)

CDA Agent: I'll get him. All right, come with us, sir. Waternoose: What are you doing? Take your hands off me! You can't arrest me! (The CDA agents lead Waternoose out of the simulator room) I hope you're happy, Sullivan! You've destroyed this company! Monsters Inc. is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now? The energy crisis will only get worse because of you!

(Sullivan is clearly troubled by Waternoose's words) Lead CDA Agent: Stay where you are. Number one wants to talk to you. (to other CDA) Attention! (Sullivan and Mike exchange a confused look) (A PARADE OF AGENTS enter the room, standing at attention. As the last two enter, they make room for...)

Roz: Hello, boys. (Sullivan and Mike's mouths drop open) BOTH: Roz? Roz: 2 1/2 years of undercover work were almost wasted when you intercepted that child, Mr. Sullivan. Of course, without your help, I never would have known that this went all the way up to Waternoose. (Boo scampers up to Sullivan. Nearby CDA agents nervously step away) Roz: Now... About the girl... (Sullivan scoops Boo up in his arms) Sullivan: I just want to send her home. Roz: Very good. (into wrist communicator) Bring me a door shredder. Sullivan: What, you mean... You mean, I can't see her again? Roz: That's the way it has to be. I'll give you five minutes.

(whirring hum) Mike: WELL, SO LONG, KID.

Boo: MIKE WAZOWSKI! YEAH.

Mike: AH, BOO, IT'S BEEN FUN. GO AHEAD. GO GROW UP.

(door creaking) (squealing in delight) (laughing) Sullivan: UH-UH, B-BOO...? (speaking baby talk) UM... BOO? (speaking baby talk) OH, LOOK AT THAT. YEAH, YOU KNOW...

OH, THAT'S CUTE, YEAH.

(baby talk) UH, BOO, UM...

(squeaking toy) Sullivan: WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE.

(giggling) Sullivan: COME HERE, YOU! (squeals) (both laughing) Sullivan: ♪ OH, HE'S A HAPPY BEAR... ♪ (giggling) Boo: (baby talk) Sullivan: NOTHING'S COMING OUT OF YOUR CLOSET TO SCARE YOU ANYMORE, RIGHT? MM...

Sullivan: YEAH. GOOD-BYE, BOO.

Boo: KITTY...

Sullivan: KITTY HAS TO GO.

Boo: BOO! (gasps) Boo: KITTY? (motor buzzing loudly) (clicks off)

Roz: NONE OF THIS EVER HAPPENED, GENTLEMEN. AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY PAPERWORK ON THIS.

(door closes) TAKE HIM AWAY.

(all murmuring) Smitty: I BET WE GET THE REST OF THE DAY OFF.

Needleman: YOU IDIOT! THEY'RE GOING TO SHUT DOWN THE FACTORY! (all gasp)

Mike: I'M TELLING YOU, PAL, WHEN THAT WALL WENT UP YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON WATERNOOSE'S FACE. HOO-HOO! I HOPE WE GET A COPY OF THAT TAPE.

Mike: HEY, YOU ALL RIGHT? COME ON, PAL, CHEER UP, WE DID IT! WE GOT BOO HOME. AH, SURE, WE PUT THE FACTORY IN THE TOILET, AND... GEE, HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WILL BE OUT OF WORK NOW. NOT TO MENTION THE ANGRY MOB THAT'LL COME AFTER US WHEN THERE'S NO MORE POWER, BUT, HEY... AT LEAST WE HAD SOME LAUGHS, RIGHT?

Sullivan: Laughs...

(crickets chirping) (wind blowing softly) (door quietly creaks open) (boy gasps)

Mike: HEY, IS THIS THING ON? HELLO? HELLO? TESTING, TESTING.

Mike: HEY, GOOD EVENING. HOW ARE YOU? HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU. I TELL YOU, IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE IN... YOUR ROOM. WHERE YOU FROM?

Mike: NEVER MIND. YOU'RE IN KINDERGARTEN, RIGHT? OH, I LOVE KINDERGARTEN. BEST THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Mike: OF MY LIFE. BUT I LOVE SPORTS. DODGEBALL WAS THE BEST. OH, YEAH. I WAS THE FASTEST ONE OUT THERE. COURSE I WAS THE BALL. BUT I... WAS THE BALL, SEE? ALL RIGHT.

(rumbling) (rumbling gets louder) (gurgling) AH...

Mike: (huge burp) HUH? (laughing) Mike: HEY, THANKS A LOT.

I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK.

REMEMBER TO TIP YOUR WAITRESSES.

(guffawing) (rippling gurgle) (bell dings) Sullivan: GREAT JOB, MIKEY.

YOU FILLED YOUR BOARD ON THE FIRST KID OF THE DAY.

Mike: NOT BAD, HUH? YOU KNOW, ONLY SOMEBODY WITH PERFECT COMEDIC TIMING COULD PRODUCE THIS MUCH ENERGY IN ONE SHOT.

Sullivan: UH-HUH, AND THE FACT THAT LAUGHTER IS TEN TIMES MORE POWERFUL THAN SCREAM HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

(clears throat) Celia: OH, GOOGLEY BEAR. COME HERE, YOU.

Mike: SCHMOOPSIE-POO! Celia: GOOGLEY.

WHOA! (snakes chittering) (Mike giggling) Celia: GIRLS! GIRLS, PUT... STOP, STOP, STOP! MICHAEL, YOU'RE SUCH A CHARMER.

Mike: HEY, DID YOU BRING THE MAGAZINE?

Celia: THEY JUST DELIVERED A WHOLE BOX.

Mike: LET ME SEE IT! (laughing) SULLEY AND I MADE THE COVER, RIGHT? Mike: (whispering): I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

Celia: ( sympathetically ): GOOGLEY BEAR...

Mike: I'M ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE! OW! ( chattering ) ( jittering blubbers )

Fungus: Oh, this is great!

( humming happily ) ( child laughing uproariously ) ( bell dings ) OH.

( distant laughter ) ( kazoo whirs ) ( toy horn toots ) MIKE: Hey, Sulley! ( yells ) Sullivan: HEY, UH, MIKE. I WAS, UH, JUST...

Mike: WELL, LISTEN, IF YOU GOT A MINUTE THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO SHOW YOU.

Sullivan: BUT-BUT-BUT...

Mike: OKAY, CLOSE YOUR EYES. FOLLOW ME. COME ON.

Sullivan: I-I-I...

Mike: NO PEEKING.

Mike: KEEP COMING, KEEP COMING, KEEP COMING. COME ON, KEEP COMING. KEEP COMING, KEEP COMING.

Sullivan: MIKE...

Mike: FOLLOW THE SULTRY SOUND OF MY VOICE. OK, STOP, OPEN 'EM. TA-DA!

Sullivan: Mike... is that...

Mike: SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, PAL. IT WAS A LOT OF WOOD TO GO THROUGH. YOU KNOW, IT ONLY WORKS IF YOU HAVE EVERY PIECE.

(whirring hum) (creaking)

Sullivan: BOO?

BOO: Kitty!

( bouncy blues melody plays )

Man 1: Speed.

Man 2: Marker.

Pete Docter: And... action.

Sulley: ♪ If I were a rich man. ♪

Boo: Wanna ride on it!

Sullivan: [screams]

Sulley: ♪ With a million or two. ♪

Mike: ♪ I'd live in a penthouse in a room with a view. ♪

[in slow motion]:Whoa! [screaming]

Sulley: ♪ And if I were handsome. ♪

Mike: No way.

Sulley: It could happen. ♪ Those dreams do come true. ♪

Pete Docter: Oh, tail slate.

Sulley: ♪ I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you. Wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have. Wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have. Wouldn't have nothing... ♪

Boo: Ah! [giggles] Ah! [giggles] [giggling]

Pete Docter: OK, cut.

(flushing)

Sulley: OK, you finished now, right? Hello?

Roz: Hello.

Sulley: (yells)

Roz: (laughs)

Sulley and Roz: (both laugh)

Mike: Come on, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus.

Needleman: Oh, sorry.

Sulley: See you later, fellas.

Smitty: Go get 'em, Mr. Solomon.

Needleman: You idiot! It's Sullivan, not Solomon!

Smitty: What?

Needleman: You're messing up the scene!

Smitty: Sorry!

Needleman: We're never going to work in Hollywood again!

Smitty: Let me do it over!

Needleman: Shut up!

Smitty: Keep rolling!

Needleman: You're making it worse!

Jerry: Duck and cover, people!

CDA: [grunts] Oy...

(squeaking)

George: Hey, thanks, guys. That was a close one.

CDA: OK.

George: (yelling)

Roz: Ta-da!

(all laughing)

Mike: Oh, Boo, it's been fun. Go ahead. Go throw up.

(Boo giggles)

Mike: What? What did I say? What? What?

Pete Docter: Cut.

Sulley: Hey, Ted! Good morning!

Rex: (roaring)

Pete Docter: Cut.

Rex: Hey, how was that? Was I scary? Do I get the part?

Pete Docter: Thank you.

Rex: Can I do it again? I can be taller!

Pete Docter: Next! And action!

Mike: Okay, let's move. Let's move, let's move.

Sulley: Whoa!

[shattering]

Sulley: Ow!

Mike: Can we get a little more wax on the floor, please? Wait a minute. Randall? That cheater! He's trying to boost his numbers!

Sulley: There's something else.

Mike: What?

Sulley: Look-lay in the bag-bay.

Mike: I think you mean "Ook-lay in the ag-bay."

Sulley: What? Didn't I...?

Mike: Well, you know, maybe you should take a minute and ead-ray your ipt-scray.

Sulley and Mike: (chuckles)

Sulley: You think he's in going to come through the closet and scare you. Oh, boy, how do I explain this? Uh, it's empty. See?

Roz: Guess who? (laughter)

Pete Docter: Action.

Fungus: [grunts]

Randall: Hey, what's the... (both laugh) OK, very funny. Hey, I look good in a suit.

Man: Marker.

Pete Docter: And action.

Needleman: Let her rip! Go!

(loud whirring)

Needleman: [yelling] Shut it off! Shut it off! (screams) Pull the lever! (screaming) You're making it worse!

Mike: ♪ But I must admit it. Big guy, you always come through. I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you. ♪

Sulley and Mike: ♪ You and me together. That's how it always should be. One without the other don't mean nothin' to me. Nothin' to me. ♪

Mike: Oh hey! We're rehearsing a scene for the upcoming company play called Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. (Mike laughing) It's a musical! ♪ Put that thing back where it came from or so help me. ♪

Sulley: ♪ Bom-bom, bom-bom, bom-bom... ♪

Mike: ♪ Get that thing away from me, you guys! Put that thing back where it came from, or I'll poke myself in the eye! ♪ It's a work in progress. It's gonna get better.

Sulley: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this year's company play starring, written and directed by Mike...

Mike: And produced!

Sulley: And produced by Mike Wazowski. Oh.

(applause and cheers)

(piano plays bouncy tune)

Mike: ♪ Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Both: ♪ So help me. ♪

Mike: ♪ So help me get by. ♪

All: ♪ Put that thing back where it came from or so help me, so help me! ♪

Mike: ♪ I just gotta cry... ♪

CDA Agent: Your seat is right over there, sir.

Baby Smitty: Boo.

Mike: ♪ There's a child, there's a child. There's a human child. ♪

William: Oh, no!

Mike: ♪ Running 'round the restaurant is really wild. ♪

(screaming)

Mike: ♪ What in heaven's name will become of us? We who are living in Monstroplis? ♪

(shattering)

(piano plays to ballad)

Needleman: All right, Wazowski. Tell us where the kid is.

(audience groans)

Mike: I will never talk! Never! ♪ She's out of our hair. ♪

(light applause and whistles)

Mike: ♪ And just when I dare... to care. She says "au contraire". You're my pair... of friends, I love you. ♪

Claws: (crying)

Jimmy: Keep it together, man!

All: ♪ And so we put that kid back where she came from, and she helped us to find a better tomorrow today! ♪

Mike: Thank you! What a night for my mother to be in the audience! Ladies and gentlemen my mom!

Mrs. Wazowski: [whistles]

Mike: Thank you, Monstroplis!

(Credits are back in the center)

Both: ♪ I don't have to say it. ♪

Sulley: Aw, say it anyway.

Mike: 'Cause we...

Both: ♪ Both know it's true. I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have... I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have... I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you. Wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you. ♪

(music ends)

Mike: One more time!

(new music begins)

Mike: It worked!

Sulley: ♪ I don't have to say it. ♪

Mike: I'm gonna anyway!

Sulley: ♪ 'Cause we both know it's true. ♪

Mike: Let's take it home, big guy.

Both: ♪ I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have... I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have... I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you. ♪

Mike: ♪ You! You! A-E-I-O... That means you. Yeah. ♪

(music ends)

CAST

John Goodman as James P. Sullivan

Billy Crystal as Mike Wazowski

Mary Gibbs as Boo

Steve Buscemi as Randall Boggs

James Coburn as Henry J. Waternoose

Jennifer Tilly as Celia

Bob Peterson as Roz

John Ratzenburger as Yeti

Frank Oz as Fungus

Daniel Gerson as Needleman and Smitty

Steve Susskind as Scare Floor Manager

Bonnie Hunt as Flint

Jeff Pidgeon as Mr. Bile

Sam Black as George Sanderson

Bob Bergen as Schmidt

Bret Parker as Trailer Mom

Phil Proctor as Charlie

Jacques Marin as French Reporter on TV News

Wallace Shawn as Rex (outtakes)

Joe Ranft as Pete Claws

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