Homer's Night Out


 * Marge: (showing a copy of the photograph in his face) What is the meaning of this?!
 * Homer: Whyarreeuumpht... Meaningless! Marge...Don't even attempt to find meaning in it. There's nothing between me and Princess Kashmir!
 * Marge: Princess who?
 * (Bart walks in)
 * Bart: Hey, my photo!
 * Homer and Marge: YOUR PHOTO?!?!?!
 * Bart: Uh-oh.
 * Homer: Why you little...!
 * (He goes towards Bart, about to choke him)
 * Marge: Why you big...! (She chokes Homer) Bart! Go to your room!
 * Bart': I'm outta here!


 * Mr. Burns: What in blue blazes do you think you're doing, Simpson?!
 * Homer: What do you mean, sir?
 * Mr. Burns: I mean this! (holds up the picture)
 * (Homer gasps)
 * Mr. Burns: A plant employee carrying on like an over-sexed orangutan in heat! This is a family nuclear power plant, Simpson. Our research indicates that over fifty percent of our power is used by women. (wrinkles up the picture into a ball) I will not have you offending my customers with your bawdy shenanigans!
 * Homer: It won't happen again, sir. I promise! Can I get outta your sight now?
 * Mr. Burns: Wait a minute, Simpson! Smithers, could you please leave the room?
 * Smithers: Yes, sir.
 * Mr. Burns: (sadly) Simpson...I am, by most measures, a successful man. I have wealth and power beyond the dreams of you and your clock-punching ilk, and yet, I've led a solitary life. The fair sex remains a mystery to me. You seem to have a way with women. A certain—how should I put it?—"Animal magnétisme." (begging) Help me, Simpson. Tell me your secret.
 * Homer: Uh, Mr. Burns, in spite of what everybody thinks, I'm no loverboy.
 * Mr. Burns: (pleasantly) Simpson, I'm asking you nicely.
 * Homer: I don't really know, sir--
 * Mr. Burns: (angrily) Simpson!
 * Homer: (scared) Well, oh, wine 'em! Dine 'em. Bring them flowers. Write them love poetry...sir.
 * Mr. Burns: Of course! It's simplicity itself! I won't forget this, Simpson. (angrily) Now return to your work, and tell no one of what transpired here.


 * Lisa: (saw Bart trying to take a picture of his butt) Ew, gross. Mom! Bart was taking a picture of his butt!
 * Bart: Oh, sure, like I'm really gonna take a picture of my butt.