Mighty Wakko at the Bat

Yakko : The outlook wasn't brilliant For the Warner team that day The championship was almost done With one game left to play. The final inning found our team In something of a bind Our last time up to bat And we were still one run behind. In the dugout everybody watched As Coach Plotz threw a fit Plotz : We're going to lose this game Unless somebody gets a hit! Yakko : And then he spoke those words That make a baseball team afraid Plotz : If we don't win this game today Then no one's getting paid! Yakko : They all jumped up and rallied With a hearty rousing shout Then Scratchansniff went up to bat And immediately struck out. UmpireH: Yer out! DrSns : Awwh... Yakko : Pesto batted next And nailed a grounder deep and wide He made it down the base line But they tagged him in the slide. Umpire1: Yer out! Pesto : What are you -- out of your mind? I was safe by a mile! Umpire1: I said yer out! Pesto : Out, huh? I'll show ya out! Here's yer out! Bobby : Hey! What's the matter with you? You crazy or what? Pesto : I was safe, I tell ya! Safe! Let go! Get yer wings offa me! Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em! Yakko : The Warner fans fell silent For they knew that that was that They were losing; they had two men out And one time left at bat. It was hopeless; it was tragic It was somber; it was tense The only way out now Would be to hit it past the fence. And then a cry went up         As all the fans began to shout They could not believe their luck When they saw *him* walking out. The homerun king whose monster swing Could hit that ball so hard Exactly what they needed now Here came Ralph the Guard! There was ease in Ralph's whole manner As he strode up to the plate He saw the crowd, lightly bowed Then stood up nice and straight. He waved as they applauded And he smiled a little grin Then he turned and faced the pitcher And he signaled, "Let's begin." The pitcher snarled in hate And ground the ball into his hip Ralph clutched the bat intensely In a savage, crushing grip. He shot a glance, he took a stance To knock that baseball dead The ball flew straight right towards the plate And beaned him in the head. "No!" cried the maddened crowd As they dragged him off the field That was it; without a hit The Warners' fate was sealed. If only they had had a chance But now it was too late But then a tiny figure Started walking towards the plate. At first the crowd was silent Then they gave a startled gasp It seemed hopeless now to think The game could still be in their grasp. They stared, and someone shouted Kid   : Will you take a look at that! Yakko : For little Wakko Warner Was advancing to the bat. The bat was kind of heavy And he dragged it on the ground And some laughter started coming From atop the pitcher's mound. Pitcher: Look at that! It's just a kid! 1stBase: Hey! Whatcha gonna do? Yakko : And the people in the bleachers They all started laughing too. While they howled in wild hysterics Which then grew to a feverish state Little Wakko Warner Dragged his bat up to the plate. He stood there like a tiny fixture Only three feet tall The players jeered; the pitcher sneered And then he hurled the ball. It sped on past, lightning fast Then Wakko got a hit The ball went up, and up and up         And through the sky it split... And then it started dropping Toward the center fielder's mitt. Plotz : Oh, please don't let them catch it! Yakko : Plotz was pounding on the wall No use, though; the fielders all Were right beneath the ball. And they'd have caught it too Except there came a sudden noise From Minerva Mink and Hello Nurse Who both said, M+N   :                Howdy, boys! Yakko : They turned to look; their bodies shook Their tongues came wagging down And amidst it all, they missed the ball Which landed on the ground. Wakko got to base And he was not the only one For Skippy crossed the plate at home And scored the tying run. Wakko tagged at second Then made his way to third And the cheering of the crowd Was like a thing you've never heard. Wakko rounded third for home The game could now be won But he'd have to cross the plate at home To score the winning run. The center fielder heaved the ball The outcome still in doubt Wakko would have to get there first Or else they'd tag him out. The catcher caught the ball And turned to Wakko to collide Wakko Warner hit the dirt And went into a slide! The dirt, it flew; the rocks did too And when it all was done They waited for the dust to clear To see which side had won. Oh, somewhere in this favored land The sun is shining bright The band is playing somewhere And somewhere, hearts are light. And somewhere, men are laughing And somewhere, children shout But there is no joy in Burbank 'Cause the umpire said, UmpireH:                        You're out! (Wakko pops up from under the plate) Wakko : Hello! UmpireH: You're safe! Catcher: What?! (Crowd cheers; team lifts Wakko) Wakko : Don't you just love a happy ending? (Team carries Wakko away) Mindy : OK, I love you! Bye bye!