The Opening Night Excitation


 * (in Amy's bedroom. Amy emerges from the bathroom in her nightgown, Sheldon is already in her bed)
 * Amy: Hi.
 * Sheldon: Hello.
 * Amy: So, um... should I get under the covers with you?
 * Sheldon: All right. (clears throat)
 * Sheldon: Hello.
 * Amy: Hi!
 * Sheldon: Why are you shaking? Are you cold?
 * Amy: I'm just, um... really nervous.
 * Sheldon: Why?
 * Amy: Well... I've been waiting for this for so long, I've just... built it up in my head. I don't know what to expect.
 * Sheldon: Neither do I. But... we can find out together.
 * Amy: Okay.
 * (They lean in and share a tender kiss)
 * (Cut to movie theater; the guys are waiting for the movie to start)
 * Leonard: I'm really nervous.
 * Howard: I know. We've been waiting so long for this.
 * Raj: And we've built it up in our heads so much.
 * Wil Wheaton: Guys, it's just a movie. That's true. He's right. It is.
 * Wil Wheaton: Although, we all remember Jar Jar.
 * Raj: Leonard, I-I'm scared again.


 * (The caption scene that reads "A few hours later in a bedroom, not far away" is played for one second. It now opens to the scene of a naked Sheldon on his pillow in bed with Amy)
 * Sheldon: Well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
 * (Then here is a scene of the naked messy bed-haired Amy in bed with Sheldon)
 * Amy: (her belly is expanding and shrinking with delight) Me, too.
 * Sheldon: I look forward to your next birthday when we do it again.
 * Amy: (with a laugh) That works for me.
 * (Cut to Movie theater; the movie has ended)
 * Wil Wheaton: I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
 * Raj: I don't think I can walk right now.


 * Sheldon (off): (knocking) Penny. (knocking) Penny? (knocking) Penny?
 * Bernadette: What happens if I say, “Come in”?
 * Penny: Well, find out.
 * Bernadette: Come in!
 * Sheldon: (Momentary silence) (knocking) Bernadette? (knocking) Bernadette? (knocking) Bernadette?
 * Penny: Come in!
 * Sheldon: (out of vision) Keep it up. I got nowhere else to be.
 * Bernadette: Just come in.
 * Sheldon: For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I'll stream it on Netflix.
 * Penny: We're sorry. What do you need?
 * Sheldon: Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift.
 * Bernadette: Sure.
 * Sheldon: Well, so far, I've come up with three ideas. The first is a chance for her to play the harp with the L.A. Philharmonic.
 * Penny: Wow. You can really arrange that?
 * Sheldon: Well, I said a chance, you know. When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's, they make a fuss. I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.
 * Bernadette: How about something a little more realistic?
 * Sheldon: Well, Amy enjoys knitting her own sweaters, so I was thinking of getting her an all-expense-paid trip to the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival.
 * Penny: Sorry. I was waiting for the bazinga.
 * Bernadette: Hold on. It could be romantic. The two of them away together, keeping each other warm in snowy Wisconsin.
 * Sheldon: No, no, no, no. She'd be going alone. Well, if you think I'm afraid of birds, you should see me around sheep.
 * Penny: Okay, well, what's the third option?
 * Sheldon: That I have coitus with her.
 * (Penny is so shocked she breaks the wine glass in her hand and glass shatters on floor)


 * Amy: Thanks for taking me out.
 * Penny: Well, you're spending your birthday with Sheldon. Why not celebrate early?
 * Bernadette: So where do you want to go?
 * Amy: I heard that new Mexican place on Green Street is good.
 * Penny: Sure, sure. Or we could take you to get a bikini wax.
 * Amy: Why would I get a bikini wax for my birthday?
 * Penny: Uh, I don't know. It was just a thought.
 * Amy: I think I'll just stick to Mexican.
 * Bernadette: Great. And then maybe after, we can watch a dirty movie, and if anybody has any questions about what happened or how, we can answer them.
 * Amy: Okay, what is going on?
 * Penny: Oh, we just want you to be prepared for any surprises that might happen tomorrow.
 * Amy: What surprises? Oh.
 * Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
 * Amy: YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH! You actually heard him say this?
 * Penny: Yes. He said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
 * Amy: (exhales) I-I can't believe it. I... I don't know what to say.
 * Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you, and we know how much he cares...
 * Amy: I do know what to say! Let's get me waxed!


 * Raj: Tonight's the night!
 * Leonard: Yeah, the wait is finally over!
 * Penny: I know. Then you'll finally stop talking about it!
 * Howard: Ready to go?
 * Raj: Let's do this.
 * Penny: Have fun, guys!
 * Howard: We will.
 * Raj: I can't believe Sheldon gave this up.
 * Howard: I know.
 * Leonard: We're gonna have so much more fun than him.
 * Bernadette: (sing-songy voice) No, they're not.
 * Penny: Knowing them, they will.