Sea No Evil

Narrator: In a dark land, upon a dark peak, a gateway to the evil Netherworld stood in the form of a tree. Evil spirits used this gateway to enter into the realm of the living.

(We see a fresco painting of the tree, with an evil spirit emerging from it.)

Narrator: Dark sorcerers sought the tree and fashioned it into a ship's figurehead.

(There is a painting of hooded figures carrying the figurehead, which is carved into a demonic shape.)

Narrator: They mounted the gateway upon their vessel, the Black Viper, and ventured forth to spread evil to every shore of the seven seas.

(Painting of the sorcerers sailing on the Black Viper.)

Narrator: But their ill fate was met upon stormy waters, as though nature herself was protecting the world from the dark forces beyond the gateway, which even now plot to lure someone with the false promise of treasure. Someone of flesh, whose touch will bring their release.

(The painting shows the Black Viper being struck by lightning and sunk, then at the bottom of the ocean, surrounded by eels.)

(Setting: the beach. There are several deep holes in the sand, one of them with sand being thrown out of it, while Iago and Abu look down into the hole.)

Iago: I'm tellin' ya, the map says the treasure's right here! (points to a giant X on a map)

Aladdin: (climbing out of the hole) Where did you say you got this map?

Iago: Crazy Shahib's Map Emporium.

Aladdin: Crazy Shahib? The guy who'll stand on his head on a bed of nails to make a deal? The guy who gives away free candied bananas with every purchase?

Iago: Uh, must be a different Crazy Shahib. Sound familiar, Abu?

(Abu is eating a candied banana.)

Iago: Heh heh, hey, Abu, where'd you get the candied banana?

Aladdin: (sighs) You guys should know better!

Genie: (appears dressed as a gardener) I've planted the charges, Iago! (turns into a construction worker and puts hard hats on the others)

Iago: Blowing up the next sand dune will save us a lot of digging.

Aladdin: Blowing up the—

Genie: If there's treasure in there, we'll know in a flash.

(Genie hits the detonator, the dune explodes, and they are all buried in sand.):

Aladdin: I'm… I'm tired of your harebrained schemes!

Iago: (to Abu) Hear that, hair-brains?

Aladdin: You, Iago! Read my lips: no more treasure hunts! (is stuck in the sand) Genie, a little help?

(Genie creates playground equipment on top of the dune, and Aladdin slides out on the slide. Aladdin then storms off, followed by Genie.)

Genie: Al!

Abu: Uh oh…

(A figure rises out of the sea, behind Abu and Iago.)

Iago: What's with him? Just because a guy has a ten-gallon turban and a gimmick does not mean he's dishonest.

Abu: Oh yeah?! (chatters angrily)

Iago: Oh, now you're questioning my judgment?

(A shadow falls over Abu and Iago. Abu sees what it is and falls silent, but Iago keeps talking.)

Iago: Look, if you're such a good judge of character, why do you let me talk you into these things?

(Abu points frantically at the hooded figure behind Iago which has just walked out of the ocean.)

Iago: Huh? What? What is it? You look like you've seen a g— (turns around) a g— a g— a g— (holds up the map) Would you like to towel off?

Herald: I seek the one called Aladdin.

Iago: Uh, Aladdin?

Herald: I am a herald come to bring him the key to unimaginable treasure.

Iago: Uh, that's very interesting. And, uh, where did you say this treasure was located?

Herald: That information is for Aladdin and only Aladdin.

Iago: Well, Al and myself are pals, see? Why don't you tell me the info and I'll pass it along? Whadaya say, Harold? Can I call ya Hal?

Herald: Aladdin and only Aladdin.

Iago: Oh boy, what are we— (sees Abu hiding behind a rock) Say… you've never actually seen Aladdin, have you?

Herald: I have not.

Iago: I see. (flies over to Abu) Oh, Aladdin! There you are! Hal here has been lookin' all over for you, Aladdin. (pushes Abu toward the herald) Why didn't you speak up?

Abu: Huh? Me?

Iago: (whispering) Just play along, chimp!

Herald: Greetings, Aladdin. I grant you passage to the greatest treasure ship ever lost at sea. (pulls a conch shell out of his robe and holds it out to Abu with a skeletal hand) Blow the shell, hear its sound, your path will unveil and riches be found.

(As he bends over to hand the shell to Abu, we can see the skull under the herald's hood. Abu tries to run away, but Iago catches him.)

Iago: Aladdin is so humble, the thought of giving up squalor is too much for him! Don't be rude to the nice herald, Aladdin! Take it!

(Abu takes the shell.)

Herald: My task is complete.

(The herald collapses, and his skull rolls over to Abu, who screams and faints.)

Iago: All right, so Crazy Shahib's a con man with a bad hat. But this guy is for real. Uh, was, anyway. And since Al is so sick of "harebrained treasure hunts" we'll just have to keep this baby to ourselves. Blow the shell, huh? Seems weird, but here it goes. (blows into it but now sound comes out) Of course it would help if I had lips! Here, you blow it.

(Abu shakes his head and backs away.)

Iago: What?

(Abu points at the skeleton.)

Iago: That? Relax. Skeletons are a good sign! Haven't you ever heard the old saying: "A skeleton's visit is worth a king's ransom."

Abu: Really?

Iago: It's an old saying. Now come on, it's all up to you. Don't blow it by not blowing it.

Abu: Well… okay.

Iago: That a boy, we're gonna be rich!

(Abu takes a deep breath, but can't get a sound out of the shell either.)

Iago: Come on! Big breaths, big breaths! Use those big ape lungs!

(Abu collapses, exhausted.)

Iago: We're going to need a bigger ape.

Abu: Aladdin?

Iago: D'oh, Al had to choose today to give up treasure hunting! He'll never do it! We're ruined! Wait, Al doesn't need to know that part. What if he thinks we're gonna, say, rescue someone? I've got an idea.

(Setting: that night, just outside Aladdin's hovel. Iago and Abu are wearing the herald's cloak. Iago is in the head, holding the skull, while Abu is wearing stilts and is below him, holding a candle.)

Iago: Okay. Hand me the candle.

(Abu hands it up to Iago, but burns his tail feathers accidentally.)

Iago: Yaah! Watch it! (puts the candle inside the skull)

Aladdin: (wakes and sees a hooded skeletal figure) Huh?

Iago: (in a ghostly voice) Ooooohhhh…

Aladdin: Who are you?!

Iago: I am the ghost of a poor sailor, doomed when my ship went down in cursed waters.

Aladdin: I'm… sorry. But why come to me?

Iago: Oh, woe is me! If only… no, it is too much to ask.

Aladdin: What? What's too much to ask?

Abu: (whispering to Abu) We're playin' him like a zither! (out loud) If only someone from your living world could release me.

(Abu holds out the herald's arm, which has been stuck back together, and has the shell stuck to its hand.)

Iago: Blow this at the ocean, and your way, uh, will be set in motion.

(Aladdin tries to take the shell, but it's stuck to the skeleton hand. He ends up pulling the entire arm out of Abu's grasp.)

Iago: Uh, keep it.

Aladdin: But, wait! I don't understand!

(Abu and Iago back out of the hovel door.)

Iago: Just blow the shell! I've got to get wandering! Uh, curse, you know.

(They collapse down the stairs. Aladdin hold the conch shell and stares at it wonderingly.)

(Setting: the beach, the next morning.)

Genie: Oh, I don't know, Al. Skeletons are a bad omen. Haven't you heard the old saying? "A skeleton's visit can cost you a king's ransom!"

(Abu glares at Iago.)

Iago: Eh, that's the old old saying.

Aladdin: Well somebody needs my help. I have to try. "Blow this at the ocean and your way will be set in motion." Wonder how?

(Aladdin blows the shell, making a loud sound. The sea bubbles, then parts, making a path. They start to walk along the path, staring up at the walls of water on either side.)

Iago: That skeleton packs some pretty powerful magic!

(Aladdin feels the wall of water then sticks a finger through toward a fish on the other side. A school of fish then swims out of that wall, flies past them through the open air, then back through the wall of water on the other side. A manta ray slides beneath Iago's feet.)

Iago: Whoa!

(Abu looks at some anemones, while Aladdin and Genie watch a jellyfish and a squid swim past. The squid shoots ink at Genie. A seahorse then swims up to Aladdin's face.)

Aladdin: (laughs) Hello little fella!

(The seahorse swims away, and a shark suddenly appears and just misses taking a bite out of Aladdin. While he runs away from it, Genie turns into a sailor and grabs the shark's tail.)

Genie: Not so fast! (spins the shark around, then tosses it far away)

Aladdin: (panting) Thanks, Genie.

Genie: Al, you were almost seafood! Sure we should go ahead?

Abu: Nuh uh! Nuh uh!

Aladdin: Genie, if this was just some treasure hunt I'd say no, but that poor soul is counting on me.

Abu: Huh?

Iago: That's right, boys, this isn't just some treasure hunt! So let's move!

Genie: (turns into a doctor and takes Iago's temperature) You feeling okay, bird?

Iago: Yeah, well, who knows? Maybe this, uh, grateful soul will give us a reward? Huh?

(They continue following the path into the deep ocean. The walls of water are now hundreds of feet high.)

Aladdin: I'd hate to be down here when these walls come down.

Genie: Yeah, that's a lot of tonnage. We'd be crushed like… uh, easily crushed things. I'll hang on to this just in case. (puts the shell in his sash)

Abu: Easily crushed things?

Iago: Just relax, Chihuahua. The only danger's gonna be if Al finds out we're down here on a treasure hunt.

(Abu sees a fish skeleton on the ground and screams. They look around and there are similar skeletons all over the sea floor.)

Aladdin: What is this place?

Genie: (as a vampire) Looks like a graveyard for eels! Hey, I've heard about this place! Legend has it the eels' graveyard marks a sunken ship… but it wasn't just any ship. There was something special about it. What was it? I know, I'll look it up. (a giant book appears) "Undersea Almanac, Eel Edition." Let's see… moose lodge of the eels…

Iago: If Genie finds out it's a treasure ship we'll be sunk! (gulp) So to speak.

Genie: (walking as he reads) Dreaded dentist of the eels… Funeral home of the eels… ah, getting warm!

(Iago turns a sand dollar Genie has stepped on, sending him walking off in a different direction, off through the wall of water and into the ocean. He is so engrossed in his book that he doesn't notice.)

Genie: Here it is! Graveyard of the eels… now what's it say?

Abu: Aladdin! Alad— (Iago claps his wings over Abu's mouth)

Iago: Shh, don't tell Al! We're so close!

Abu: Aladdin! (runs to Aladdin, who is out ahead of them) Aladdin!

Iago: No, wait! Come—

(They can now see the shipwreck nearby.)

Iago: Ah!

Aladdin: We found it.

(There is a close up of the ship's figurehead. We can see it is the same as the one on the Black Viper from the beginning of the episode. Abu shakes with fear and gibbers something.)

Abu: (shivering with fear) Creepy feeling on my neck!

Iago: What creepy feeling on your neck? It's all that monkey fuzz. Now relax and smell the treasure.

Abu: Hey, where's Genie?

(Abu starts to tell him, but Iago pushes him out of the way.)

Iago: Excellent question! You look around outside, I'll search the ship. You know, smuggling panels, treasure hold, things like that.

Aladdin: Iago, what's up? You've been acting strange lately.

Abu: Ala— (Iago tackles him)

Iago: Strange? Whatever do you mean?

Voice: Ah, you have come.

Aladdin: Where are you?

Voice: Over here. The figurehead.

Iago: Hey, what's with the spirit? I thought we made that part up.

Abu: Uh oh…

Voice: Touch the figurehead and the treasure shall be yours.

Aladdin: Treasure? What treasure?

Iago: Uh, he means, where is the treasure?

Voice: You must release me first.

Iago: Okay, fine. Then we get the treasure?

Aladdin: Iago!

Iago: Look, Al, we were promised big treasure, so go and touch the figurehead like the guy says!

Aladdin: We weren't promised any treasure!

Iago: You weren't, we were.

Aladdin: What are you talking about, Iago?

Iago: We knew you wouldn't go for the gold, so we threw on a cloak and made up the rescue story. Uh, me and Abu, that is.

Aladdin: You what?!

Abu: Oh no…

Aladdin: If you made up the story about the spirit, then who is this guy?

Iago: Beats me, but there's one way to find out. Let the money flow, baby!

(Iago pushes Aladdin's hand onto the figurehead. There's a flash of light and Aladdin is gone. Iago is now holding a gray, clawed hand.)

Aladdin: (voice) Iago? Where am I?

Iago: (looking up) It's you!

(We now see the hand belongs to Ayam Aghoul.)

Ayam: Yes! Once again Ayam Aghoul is free! And I owe it all to you, little living thing. You and my old friend Aladdin.

Aladdin: (voice coming from the figurehead) It's dark here. What's going on?

Ayam: Revenge, silly boy. I want you to see what it's like in the Netherworld. Maybe you'll think twice next time you decide to banish someone there. If there is a next time. (laughs)

Iago: Oh, man, this is bad.

Ayam: So, how's the weather been, fellas? (cracks his back) Oh, that subzero Netherworld climate's bad for my lumbago, you know. Yes, I'm really looking forward to summer. Hmm, a plague of locusts might be nice in Agrabah this time of year. And an infestation of bloodworms will really liven my spirits. (laughs and starts to walk away)

Iago: Al! Poor kid! I had no idea! Why do you let me talk you into these things! What're we gonna do?

Aladdin: Reverse the spell! Make Aghoul touch the figurehead!

Iago: Make him touch the figurehead. Oh, sure! Piece of cake!

(Abu chatters angrily at Iago.)

Iago: Okay, okay! You're callin' the shots!

(Abu and Iago tie a rope around Ayam and try to drag him back.)

Ayam: Hey! (disappears in a puff of smoke) Wretched little creatures! You cannot contain the duke of decay!

Iago: Oh well. We tried and he got away.

(Ayam's hand emerges from the sea floor and grabs at Iago, who dodges; he and Abu run away.)

Iago: Okay, so maybe skeletons are a bad omen!

Ayam: (out of the ground now) You've put me in a rotten mood! Now you will suffer!

(Abu takes a deep breath, then jumps into the wall of water, pulling Iago with him. Ayam reaches in after them, but they swim away.)

Ayam: Your little lungs thirsty for air?

(Abu's hat sticks out of the water. Ayam grabs at it; while he does, Iago sticks his head out and takes a breath. Ayam reaches after Iago, while Abu takes a breath. While he reaches after where Abu was, Abu reaches out behind Ayam's back and steals his hat back.)

Ayam: Hmm, perhaps a little assistance from the locals.

(Ayam sends magic through the wall of water, where it hits two eels, who then charge at Abu and Iago. They swim away, back out into the air, where Ayam grabs them.)

Ayam: Gotcha! (laughs) Perhaps my pets would like to feast on your brains.

(The eels stick their heads out into the air and snap at Abu and Iago.)

Iago: (crossing his eyes) Uh, no brains here.

(Abu lets his tongue hang out of his mouth and stares off into space.)

Ayam: Then they'll have to make do eating your mangy bodies!

Abu: Help!

Iago: Did I mention I'm sorry I ditched the genie?

(Elsewhere, Genie is still walking along the ocean floor, reading his book. He is being followed by three fish.)

Genie: Let's see… sunken ships, sunken ships… ah, here it is! Sunken ships in the graveyard of the eels! Hmm, the only one listed is the Black Viper. (reading) "The Black Viper's figurehead is a gateway to the Netherworld that feeds on human victims. Under no circumstances should the figurehead be touched." (gasps) The Black Viper! Ooh, we've got to get out of here! (sees the three fish) Guys, you've devolved! Hey, I'm wet. Where'd everybody go? I've gotta warn the guys!

(A giant shadow passes over Genie.)

(Setting: back in the graveyard of the eels.)

Iago: Well, look, you don't wanna hurt us. We let you out, right? We're your friends!

Ayam: Friends? Let me introduce you to my friends.

(There are four floating hooded figures in front of the Black Viper.)

Iago: Uh, mention it. Hey, you guys must know Harold! Hal! Our old buddy!

Abu: (nervous) Yeah, Hal!

Ayam: The original dark sorcerers of the Black Viper. Dedicated to bringing more humans to the Netherworld.

Iago: And more of you guys out here?

Ayam: They're good people.

(Ayam hears a sound behind him and turns around. Genie rides up to them on a whale. The whale knocks into the four skeleton sorcerers, breaking them into pieces.)

Ayam: Fine! Your friends for mine!

(Ayam throws Abu and Iago to the eels. Iago manages to stop in mid air before he hits the wall of water and grabs Abu, flying off with him. The eels chase after them. Meanwhile Genie swims past a second time on the whale.)

Genie: (waving a cowboy hat) Yee ha! Oh, you gotta love that food chain!

(The whale chases the eels back into the water. When the whale goes through the wall of water, Genie smacks into it and falls to the ground. The shell falls out of his pants and lands at Ayam's feet.)

Genie: (as a surfer) Whoa, wipe out! Next time I stay in the kiddie pool! (to Abu and Iago) Guys, whatever you do, don't touch that figurehead!

Aladdin: (voice) Genie?

Genie: Al? (covers his face) He touched the figurehead.

Iago: Well, basically. Yes. Look, we gotta get death-breath to touch it if we wanna get Al back.

Genie: (as a policeman) Sorry, this is the living world. If you don't have a permit to rot I'm gonna have to send you back.

Ayam: You can't send me back without a gateway. (crushes the shell, then disappears)

Iago: Uh oh.

Genie: Easily crushed things!

(The walls of water begin to crash down. Genie grabs Iago and Abu and carries them up to the surface. They emerge from the water in an elevator and look down at the water. The top half of the figurehead is floating there.)

Genie: Al! (picks up the broken figurehead) Al, are you in there? Speak to me! We've gotta find the other half, or Al's gone for good!

Ayam: (laughs, we can now see he is floating in the air near the bottom half of the figurehead) What a shame. Now all my zombie friends are trapped for eternity… with that dolt Aladdin! (picks up the second half of the figurehead) Well, I'm sure another gateway to the Netherworld will open up… in a thousand years or so!

(Genie throws the top half of the figurehead at Ayam. It lands on top of the bottom half. Since Ayam is now touching the complete figurehead, he vanishes, and Aladdin appears.)

Ayam: No!

Aladdin: Whoa!

Abu: Aladdin!

Iago: Al, you're back!

Genie: (holding the figurehead with tongs) I think this will be safer in orbit. (throws it into the sky)

(Genie creates a boat for them; they are lying on it on deck chairs.)

Aladdin: Thanks, Genie.

Genie: Don't mention it.

Aladdin: So, thought we'd go on a little treasure hunt, eh, Iago?

Iago: Well, yeah, at least there was no harm done, right? I mean, seeing how you made it back okay.

(Aladdin and Genie wink at each other.)

Aladdin: Oh, no harm done at all.

Iago: (sigh) Glad to hear it.

(Everything suddenly goes dark.)

Iago: Hey, what happened? Everything went dark!

Aladdin: There must have been another gateway! Don't worry Iago, we'll save you!

(We can now see Genie is holding a jar, which Iago is inside.)

Aladdin: …even if it takes years.

Abu: Yeah! (laughs)

Genie: Watch out for those zombies!

Iago: No, wait, guys! I gotta get out of here! It's… it's cold and there's zombies! Aah! Zombies! I can see 'em now! Help! Guys!