Doug Out

{{TranscriptH| {{TD|| (Steven takes a bag of Fry Bits from Peedee Fryman.)}} {{TD|Steven| Thanks for the bits, Peedee. *Him and Connie walk off* Oh, and tell Ronaldo I hope his weird rash clears up soon. *Steven and Connie sit on a bench and eat the Fry Bits* Life can get really intense, huh?}} {{TD|Connie| Yeah, especially your life. Let's see, alien abduction.}} {{TD|Steven| Going to a weird zoo for humans in space.}} {{TD|Connie| And sneaking out past a pair of intergalactic tyrants!}} {{TD|| (Steven and Connie laugh.)}} {{TD|Steven| *Takes a Fry Bit from the bag and lifts it up to the sky* Well, it's nice to know that we can still have peaceful days like this without any trouble. *He throws it in attempt to catch it in his mouth but fails and laughs*}} {{TD|Connie|Almost.}} {{TD|Doug Maheswaran| *Yells through microphone* Hey, kid!}} {{TD|| (Steven and Connie look over.)}} {{TD|Doug| Drop those fry bits! drop em'!}} {{TD|Steven| Oh no, it's the cops!}} {{TD|Connie| Huh?}} {{TD|Steven| All the years of ordering off menu have finally come back to taunt me!}} {{TD|Connie| You meant haunt you? Steven that's not even a police car, it's just-}} {{TD|Steven| I surrender! *He gets off the bench and runs towards Doug* I knew I was breaking the rules but, I did it anyway! The bits had their hooks in meee.}} {{TD|Connie| *Runs over to Steven and laughs* Dad, quit joking around!}} {{TD|Doug| Come on, Connie I almost had him! *He takes the microphone away from his mouth*}} {{TD|Steven| Mr. Maheswaran!? *Sighs and falls to the ground*}} {{TD|Doug| *Puts microphone back into his car and walks over to Steven* Wow, I didn't think he would take it that seriously. *Squats down* You okay there Steven?}} {{TD|Steven| Oh, yeah, I love it down here.}} {{TD|Doug| And how's my swashbuckling swashbuckler doing?}} {{TD|Connie| I'm good.}} {{TD|Doug| You know, Steven, maybe you're dehydrated. Probably from eating all that garbage before dinner.}} {{TD|Steven| Respectfully, Fry Bits are not garbage.}} {{TD|Connie| Don't worry, Steven, he's just messing with you.}} {{TD|Doug| *Chuckles* Sorry Steven, Let's get you up.}} {{TD|| (They all walk to the car)}} {{TD|Connie| So what are you even doing in Beach City dad?}} {{TD|Doug| *Takes a note from car* I'm out here on a job, actually. *Lifts paper up* The private security company I work for got a call from a Mr. Harold Smiley stating that someones been lurking around Funland after hours. So I'll be here all night. On, *Grabs side of glasses and the lenses shine* a stakeout.}} {{TD|Steven| Woah, a stakeout!}} {{TD|Connie| Dad, that's so cool!}} {{TD|Doug| Yeah, it is pretty cool, huh? *blushes* Protecting the citizens of Beach City. Just like you guys!}} {{TD|Connie| Wouldn't that be fun, Steven?}} {{TD|Steven| Yeah! I'd love to go on a stakeout sometime.}} {{TD|Doug| Maybe you guys, could help out tonight.}} {{TD|Steven and Connie| What?!}} {{TD|Connie| Even though we're not officially sanctioned security personnel?}} {{TD|Doug| Hey, why not. It's probably just some kit loitering. Hey, kid!}} {{TD|| (Onion looks over and puts his arm up.)}} {{TD|Doug| Yes, hello! The sign above you says no loitering!}} {{TD|Onion| *Shrugs and walks off*}} {{TD|Doug| They get younger every year. So, ya'll ready for this? Some of these teens can use some pretty strong language.}} {{TD|Connie| Hey Steven, you wanna help ruin some teen's night?}} {{TD|Steven| Always.}} {{TD|| (They drive up to Funland)}} {{TD|Steven| *Whispering* Coast is all clear behind us.}} {{TD|Connie| Things seem pretty quiet so far.}} {{TD|Doug| Well yeah, nobody's gonna even try hopping the fence with us here. But you never know, sometimes, I actually leave the car.}} {{TD|Steven and Connie| Wow.}} {{TD|Doug| I'm sure you guys do lots of waiting when you're saving the world. It can't be all bam, pow action all the time.}} {{TD|Steven| Aw, I wish. There's a lot of fighting, I mean, I kind of inherited a intergalactic war.}} {{TD|Connie| *Reaches arm into box* Hey dad, what's this box?}} {{TD|Doug| Oh, I just confiscated that from a kid who was shoplifting in a costume shop.}} {{TD|Steven| Woah! *Takes a mustache out and holds to mouth* You could totally use these for disguises! Don't you ever need to go.. Undercover?}} {{TD|Doug| How do you know I'm not undercover *Lifts glasses up* Right now?}} {{TD|| (Steven and Connie look surprised)}} {{TD|Doug| Just kidding *Chuckles* I need these to see. But if you guys want to play with that stuff go ahead.}} {{TD|Connie| Okay, well I want to be undercover. I'll be.. Veronica Cucamonga.}} {{TD|Steven| *Puts green hat on* *Italian accent* It's a-me, Peter Pizzapoppolis, from Italia!}} {{TD|Connie| Pizzapoppolis? That sounds Greek. You sure you don't want anything dad? There's a clown nose back here. *Squeaks the clown nose*}} {{TD|Doug| No thanks, being a security guard is no joke. Which is why, they equip us with these. *Pulls flashlight out*}} {{TD|Connie| Wow, a flashlight!}} {{TD|Doug| Yeah. It gets pretty dark out there.}} {{TD|| (Loud crash)}} {{TD|Doug| What was that?}} {{TD||(The three of them walk up to the smashed-in part of the fence)}} {{TD|Steven| Mama mia the fence-a!}} {{TD|Doug| How on earth did this happen? *Him and the others walk closer* If this were some punk with a pair of bolt cutters this would have been a clean cut. *Leans down and grabs a piece from the fence* But this chain looks like it was torn apart. This was no kid.}} {{TD|Connie| Well, if it wasn't a misguided teen, what could it be?}} {{TD|Doug| It's up to us to find out! Sounds like we better investigate. Cucamonga, Pizzapoppolis.}} {{TD|Connie| Right!}} {{TD|Steven| Right-a!}} {{TD|| (They all start walking in before Connie leans down to pick up a ripped piece of leather from the fence)}} {{TD|Connie| Huh? *She stands up and puts it in her pocket*}} {{TD|Doug| Hello? This is security! You are trespassing on private property. Do not attempt to make yourself a corn dog. Funland incorporated is not liable for the harm you may incur on trying to operate a deep fryer without a license.}} {{TD|Steven| You need a license to operate a deep fryer?}} {{TD|| (Loud crash)}} {{TD|Connie| Woah.}} {{TD|| (A big shadow appears)}} {{TD|Doug| Hey, stop right there!}} {{TD|| (They all run towards the shadow)}} {{TD|Doug| Follow my lead.}} {{TD|| (They somersault across the ground one by one)}} {{TD|Doug| *Shines flashlight* Don't move!}} {{TD|Connie| Did we lose them?}} {{TD|Steven| Which a-way did they go so fast-a?}} {{TD|Doug| Mouths closed, eyes and ears open.}} {{TD|| (They all put their hands to their ears)}} {{TD|| (Hyper Space door creaks)}} {{TD|Doug| Bad move chump, that space ship's permanently earthbound. *They run into the ride* Gotcha! I mean freeze! Oh, man. *Shines light at control panel* Are we dealing with some sort of escape artist?}} {{TD|Connie| Hey Steven, maybe we should get our weapons.}} {{TD|Doug| That won't be neccessary. We're not here to escalate the situation. Besides, a good security guard only needs their trusty flashlight.}} {{TD|| (Door creaks and slams)}} {{TD|Doug| Hey! *pulls on handle* Open up this instant!}} {{TD|Connie| Yeah let us out! *Her and Steven attempt to open the door*}} {{TD|| (The lights turn on and the ride starts moving)}} {{TD|Steven and Connie| The ride's moving!}} {{TD|Connie| We gotta shut it off!}} {{TD|Doug| Don't worry! I'll just use my trusty flashlight. *Throws it towards the Off button but it misses*}} {{TD|Steven| Oh no!}} {{TD|Connie| The laws of physics!}} {{TD|Doug| *Flashlight hits face* Ouch!}} {{TD|Connie| You okay, dad?}} {{TD|Doug| Yeah, I've got a new idea, though. This time, I'll throw it at a angle!}} {{TD|Connie| Dad, I don't think that'll work.}} {{TD|Doug| Go! *Throws flashlight and it hits all three of their heads multiple times*}} {{TD|| (All of them scream)}} {{TD|Steven| We got to get out of this spicy meat-a-ball! *Grunts while trying to push himself off the wall and lands on the middle of the ride* Hey, this part isn't moving at all!}} {{TD|Connie| Steven!}} {{TD|Doug| *Gets hit with flashlight* Augh!}} {{TD|Steven| Sorry! *Pushes Off button*}} {{TD|| (The ride stops and they all climb out of the ride groaning)}} {{TD|Doug| Listen, you bodybuilding escape artist criminal. This isn't a game. You've endangered a officer of the law and two small children. Show yourself before you get into serious trouble!}} {{TD|Connie| Steven, do you think it's some sort of Gem Mutant or Monster?}} {{TD|Steven| It could be, but, it trapped us. The monsters and mutants aren't that smart.}} {{TD|Connie| Could, we be dealing with a Homeworld Gem?}} {{TD|Doug| Homeworld? Gem? Mutant? I, uh - well, whatever it is *Takes batteries out of flashlight* if someone's trespassing *Takes new batteries out of pocket and puts them into the flashlight then turning it on* they'll have to answer to me.}} {{TD|Connie| It's so.. Quiet.}} {{TD|| (The streetlights turn on and music starts playing, making them all gasp)}} {{TD|Doug| I can't believe this. They're mocking us. Show yourself! What is it that you want here?! Prizes? Fun? You think this is the place to get your kicks? You sick monster. Destroying the sanctity of this land of fun!}} {{TD|| (A small shadow appears above a small minigame)}} {{TD|Connie| Behind you!}} {{TD|| (The fence falls onto Doug)}} {{TD|Connie| Dad!}} {{TD|Steven| Mr. Maheswaren!}} {{TD|Doug| Ugh, don't worry, I'm fine. Just-}} {{TD|| (Shadow runs past them)}} {{TD|Doug| *Gasp* There they are!}} {{TD|| (Steven and Connie gasp)}} {{TD|Connie| Come on Steven! *They get up and follow the shadow*}} {{TD|Doug| I'm right behind you!}} {{TD|Connie| You're not getting away this time!}} {{TD|| (The shadow knocks over a trash can and a gumball machine)}} {{TD|Connie| That's a lot of gumballs!}} {{TD|Steven| Jump!}} {{TD|| (Connie jumps and Steven grabs her hands, then floats over the gumballs, then run to a dead end)}} {{TD|Connie| It's time to give up!}} {{TD|Steven|There's no way out!}} {{TD|Doug| Gumballs? Aaah! *Falls* *Groans and walks over* Hey, kids.}} {{TD|Connie| The culprits at the end of this corner, dad.}} {{TD|Doug| Good work you two. Now, let's shed some light on this subject *Turns flashlight on and shines it onto Onion*}} {{TD|Steven| Wait. Onion!}} {{TD|| (Onion looks towards them squinting)}} {{TD|Doug| You? What are you doing here? We're in the middle of a very important investigation.}} {{TD|Connie| Dad, I think this is who's been causing all this trouble.}} {{TD|Steven| Onion, It's me, Steven. *Takes mustache and hat off* Steven Universe.}} {{TD|Onion| *Murmurs frantically and hides behind Steven*}} {{TD|Steven| That's just Mr. Maheswaren. Oh my gosh did you think a bunch of strangers were chasing you? No wonder you were trying to throw us off your trail. Onion, everything's okay.}} {{TD|| (Onion smiles and steps back)}} {{TD|Doug| *Walks up to them* It can't just be a kid. It doesn't make any since! What about that huge shadow?}} {{TD|| (Connie turns the flashlight on and shines it on Onion, a big shadow appearing behind him)}} {{TD|Connie| I think the flashlight just made him look big.}} {{TD|Doug| But the fence was ripped apart!}} {{TD|Steven| I have seen him use a blowtorch before.}} {{TD|Connie| *Walks up to them* I also found this piece of fabric stuck in the fence.}} {{TD|| (They look over at Onion, Onion shows his foot to reveal a tear in the heel)}} {{TD|Doug| *Groans* Of course. It's never actually something.}} {{TD|Connie| What's wrong?}} {{TD|Doug| Nothing's wrong, It's just my job isn't the exhilarating adventures you've been having with Steven. Or the life-threatening emergencies your mom deals with at the hospital. The most action I see is telling kids to stop loitering around. I was hoping maybe you'd get to see me take on a serious job. But I guess all i'm good at is being your silly, old dad. *Trips on a gumball and falls, grunting*}} {{TD|Connie| You're right, you are silly. But that's why I like hanging out with you. I've got enough serious things going on in my life. Sometimes I just wanna spend time with my dad.}} {{TD|Doug| *They both smile* Thanks. *Chuckles* You're a keeper Veronica Cucamonga.}} {{TD|Connie| *Laughs*}} {{TD|Doug| Well, kid. This may have been a big misunderstanding. But you're still in trouble for this fence.}} {{TD|Onion| *Looks and shakes his head*}} {{TD|Doug| Oh, yes you are.}} {{TD|Steven| Just let him off the hook on this one. We already scared him straight.}} {{TD|Connie| The law must be different for someone his age.}} {{TD|Doug| *Sigh* You learned your lesson?}} {{TD|Onion| *Nods*}} {{TD|Doug| Then you're free to go.}} {{TD|| (Car door opens and closes and the engine starts)}} {{TD|Doug| And rememember kid, no loitering. *Backs the car up* I don't know how I'm gonna explain this back at the office.}} {{TD|| (Onion walks forward, a stomp is heard and a large shadow appears behind him, and a smaller shadow with wings flies up next to the other one)}} {{TD|| (The episode ends)}}