The Troll Manifestation


 * Penny: So tell me about your day. How is it going with the particle detector?
 * Leonard: Wow, you remember that?
 * Penny: Yeah, I listen to what you say. You’re building a particle detector using superfluid helium.
 * Leonard: You know, when you talk like that I want to take you right here on this table.
 * Penny: And you know from past experience that this table cannot support both our weight.


 * Leonard: Come on, is..is this good or not?
 * Sheldon: Ummm. It’s good. I like it.
 * Leonard: Really?
 * Sheldon: I think you’re on to something.


 * Leonard: When did my idea become our idea?
 * Sheldon: When I mixed it with Sheldon-y goodness and cooked it in the easy-Bake Oven of my mind.


 * Hawking: Well, hello there.
 * Sheldon: Professor Hawking?
 * Hawking: Oh brother, you should see the look on your faces.
 * Leonard: You really didn't like our paper?
 * Hawking: I liked your paper very much. The premise is intriguing.
 * Sheldon: Then why are you attacking us?
 * Hawking: If you were sitting in a chair for forty years, you’d get bored, too. Anyway, got to go, I promised to help the neighbor kid with his math homework. Ciao.


 * Leonard: You’re sure it’s good?
 * Sheldon: My name is right on there with yours. That is a surefire mark of quality. That might as well say, “Directed by Joss Whedon.”


 * Opening to movie: “Bananas, get your fresh bananas.”


 * Penny: Doctor, please help me. I might be turning onto a killer gorilla.
 * Doctor: Why do you think you’re turning into a killer gorilla and not just a regular gorilla?
 * Penny: Because regular gorilla are vegetarians, and I just bit the fingers off your receptionist.


 * Bernadette: Okay, movie night, what do you want to watch?
 * Amy: Whatever happened to that ape movie you were in?
 * Penny: Oh, God. Probably nothing. I think I saw the director twirling a sign outside the Verizon store.
 * Bernadette: Search for it.
 * Penny: What, no, why?
 * Bernadette: ‘Cause it would be fun to watch.
 * Penny: It would be humiliating.
 * Bernadette: Well, now we have two reasons.
 * Amy: They have it.
 * Bernadette: Please, can we watch it?
 * Amy: Please?
 * Penny: Fine, but I’m telling you, it’s terrible.
 * Amy: Have you even seen it?
 * Penny: No.
 * Bernadette: Well, maybe it turned out better than you think.


 * Leonard: “Upon review I have changed my mind about the Cooper-Hofstadter hypothesis that space-time is like a super-fluid. In fact, it inspired me to come up with my own theory. Maybe space-time is like two clowns with their head in a bucket much like Cooper and Hofstadter.”
 * Sheldon: Can I respond now?
 * Leonard: Do it.
 * Sheldon: You mess with the bull you get the horns. I’m about to show this guy how horny I can be.
 * Leonard: Someone else do it.


 * Penny: Okay, we’ve seen plenty.
 * Bernadette: No, give me the remote.
 * Amy: Careful. She’ll bite your fingers off.
 * Penny: Okay, well, I’ve been poking around the internet, and I think I found something we’ll enjoy watching even more.
 * Amy: What is it?
 * Penny: Oh, just a video of Bernadette in a beauty pageant.
 * Amy: What?
 * Bernadette: (yelling to Penny crossly) Okay, I learned my lesson. Making fun of people is wrong.
 * Amy: I haven’t learned my lesson. Play it. Play it.
 * Bernadette: (in the video) Hi. I’m Bernadette Marianne Rostenkowski from Yorba Linda, California.
 * Penny: (laughs) You look like a talking cupcake.
 * Bernadette: (in the video) And you should pick me for Miss California Quiznos of 1999 because I want to…tell you what I want, what I really really want. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want . I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really, really, really be Miss California Quiznos 1999.
 * Amy: Play it again. Play it again.
 * (Bernadette is really embarrassed and very cross by this as Amy and Penny laugh)


 * Bernadette: Ho-ho, it really didn’t.


 * Penny: How could you not tell us you were in beauty pageants?
 * Bernadette: ‘Cause it’s embarrassing.
 * Penny: It is; it truly is.
 * Bernadette: (she is now very cross) Yeah, well, Amy writes Little House on the Prairie fan fiction about herself and posts it on the Internet.
 * (Penny has a shocked look on her face)
 * Penny: No.
 * Amy: (yells with huge anger) Why? What did I do?
 * Bernadette: (she speaks to Amy crossly) Sorry, I had to get the spotlight off me, and tearing down other women is part of my pageant training.
 * Penny: Okay. We are reading that right now.
 * Amy: No, please don’t.
 * Bernadette: (she's very cross again) We got embarrassed tonight. Come on.
 * Amy: But it’s personal.
 * Penny: Why? Is it about you and Sheldon?
 * Amy: (Smiles nervously) No.
 * Penny: Oh, my God, it’s about her and Sheldon.
 * Amy: It’s not about me and Sheldon. It’s about a young woman in the 1800s named Amelia, and the time-traveling physicist named Cooper she falls in love with.
 * Penny: Please show us?
 * Bernadette: Please?
 * Amy: No.
 * Penny: You know I’m gonna read it either way.
 * Amy: Good luck finding it.
 * Penny: Amelia and the time-trav… found it. It was just past dawn on the prairie, and like every morning, Amelia prepared to do her chores. Except something about this morning felt different.
 * Bernadette: Why? Why did it feel different?
 * Penny: Maybe it was the first whisper of winter in the air, or maybe it was the unconscious handsome man with porcelain skin and curious clothing she was about to discover lying in the field. A man who would open her mind to new possibilities and her body to new feelings. (Penny and Bernadette squeal)
 * Amy: You know, there was a time when I was alone and had no friends. I’m starting to miss that.


 * Penny: “Time travel? I don’t understand,” said Amelia. Cooper stared at her. ‘Which word don’t you understand, time or travel?”
 * Bernadette: (she's so very cross by this) Wow, even in your fantasies Sheldon’s kind of exhausting.
 * Amy: He’s like that in the beginning, so she can change him. It’s called good writing. And wishful thinking.
 * Penny: It stung Amelia when he spoke to her this way. In her little one-room schoolhouse, she was always the smartest student, regularly besting the boys in her class, but this was no boy in front of her, this was a man.
 * Bernadette: Here we go.
 * Penny: Cooper told Amelia about all the strange and incredible things the future would hold, like computers and living past 30. He asked her if she had any questions. All she longed to ask was if his heart was beating as fast as hers, but she was too afraid to hear the answer.
 * Bernadette: Oh, Amelia.
 * Penny: So instead she asked if, in the future, Montana ever became a state.
 * Amy: In the 1800s that was considered flirting.


 * Penny: With a heavy heart, Amelia stood before the newly repaired time machine. She regretted giving Cooper the part he needed.
 * Bernadette: Because she wanted him to give her the part she needed. (she and Penny laugh)
 * Amy: Okay, that’s enough.
 * Penny: What? No, I really want to know what happens, and Bernadette really, really, really wants to know what happens.
 * Amy: You’re just making fun of me.
 * Bernadette: I was just kidding. I’m sorry. And the story’s really good.
 * Penny: No, it is. Does he stay? Do they kiss? Does she find out about Montana?
 * Bernadette: Please?
 * Amy: Fine. As Cooper prepared to depart, tears filled Amelia’s eyes. He took her hand in his and said, “I can’t stay, but I will never forget you.” He brushed his fingers against her cheek, then quickly stepped into the machine. “Please don’t go,” she whispered. But it was too late. The engine hummed to life.
 * Bernadette: But they didn’t even kiss.
 * Amy: She turned away, wiping her eyes. She couldn’t bear to watch her one chance at true love disappear forever. Then she felt a strong hand on her shoulder spin her around. It was Cooper.
 * Penny: (whispering) Yes.
 * Amy: “What about the future?” asked Amelia. He looked deeply into her eyes and whispered, “There is no future without you.” He pulled her in close. She began to tremble all over. She felt his warm breath…
 * Leonard: You will not believe what Stephen Hawking just said.
 * Penny and Bernadette: (together with enormous anger) GET OUT!
 * (Leonard runs away in frightened hurry and the sound of door slamming is played to the shocked and very angry Penny and Bernadette. Amy stares at them while the scenes fades to black)


 * Amelia: Is the water warm enough?
 * Cooper: Given the fact that you took the time to build a wood fire, draw the water from the well and heat it, it would be rude to complain. But since you asked, it’s a little nippy.
 * Amelia: I can fix that. I couldn’t help but notice your unusual undergarments.
 * Cooper: They’re not undergarments. They’re Underoos. Where I come from, they’re known as underwear that’s fun to wear.
 * Amelia: And what’s the significance of the spider?
 * Cooper: Oh, that represents Spider-Man. He does whatever a spider can.
 * Amelia: There’s a lot of rhyming in the future, isn’t there?
 * Leonard (in bed): You’re right. This is even weirder than I thought.
 * Penny: You want me to stop reading?
 * Leonard: Are you kidding? No, no.
 * Penny: As he stood for Amelia to dry him…
 * Amelia: So, tell me, Cooper, are the ways of physical love different in the future?
 * Leonard: Yeah, okay, I’m good.
 * (Leonard takes his glasses off and puts them on he bedside. he now tosses back onto his pillow)