Krusty Gets Busted


 * Apu: What's the matter, sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream.
 * Homer: The reason I look unhappy is that tonight I have to see a slideshow starring my wife's sisters. Or as I call them "The Gruesome Twosome." (chuckles and accidentally steps on Sideshow Bob's foot)
 * Sideshow Bob: (disguised as Krusty) Ow! My foot, you lousy stupid clumsy..."!!!
 * Homer: Sorry, pal. (gasps in horror when he notices Krusty holding a handgun and dives head first into a potato chip display)
 * Sideshow Bob: (disguised as Krusty and pointing gun at Apu) Hand over all your money in a paper bag!
 * Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know. (hands over a paper bag after which Krusty flees)
 * Apu: (to Homer) You can emerge now from my chips. The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone.
 * Homer gasps with relief.

(flashback of the store surveillance)
 * Homer: (on the TV) Sorry, pal. (gasps in horror when he notices Krusty holding a handgun and dives head first into a potato chip display. later it cuts to the jury laughing)
 * Homer: D'oh!


 * Springfield Courthouse. Krusty is being indicted.
 * Judge Synder: How does the defendant plead?
 * Krusty: I plead guilty, Your Honor.
 * Entire courtroom gasps. Defense attorney looks annoyed.
 * Defense attorney: No, no! (Defense attorney covers microphone and whispers to Krusty)
 * Krusty: Oops, heheh, I meant not guilty, Your Honor. Opening night jitters!


 * Krusty's trial. The prosecution attorney is attempting to prove Krusty's motivation for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart
 * Prosecutor: Krusty, will you point out Exhibit B?
 * Krusty: Huh? Wh-What do you mean?
 * Prosecutor: The one with the big "B" on it.
 * Krusty: Uh...Uh...
 * Prosecutor: What's the matter, can't you read?
 * Krusty: (distraught) NO, I CAN'T! I can't read and write. I ADMIT IT: I'm totally illiterate! Now are you happy?
 * Courtroom audience and jury are surprised by Krusty's admission given his past history of encouraging literacy to children
 * Judge Snyder: Could it be that the champion of child literacy can't read himself?
 * Krusty: Is it a crime to be illiterate?
 * Prosecutor: Alright, alright, so Krusty, this is a "B", and this is Exhibit B. BETTING SLIPS! Indicating to this court you have lost substantial amounts of money wagering on sporting events!
 * Krusty: Is it a crime to bet on sporting events?
 * Prosecutor: Yes, it is!
 * Krusty: Oh.


 * Reverend Lovejoy spearheads a bonfire of all Krusty products
 * Peddler: Krusty dolls for sale, $2! Buy 'em and burn 'em!


 * Simpsons residence. Homer confiscates all of Bart's Krusty toys and loads them in a wheelbarrow.
 * Bart: Dad, you are giving in to mob mentality!
 * Homer: No I am not, I'm helping on the badnwagon! Now come on, son, get on with the winning team!


 * Apu: Hey hey, this is not a lending library! If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off!


 * Sideshow Bob: Bart, open your heart. I admit I have some mighty big shoes to fill.
 * Bart's brain: (echoing) Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill...
 * The words "big shoes to fill" start echoing in Bart's mind, droning out Bob's talking. And he starts to catch onto something that others hadn't before. Homer stepped on the thief's toes, resulting in him screaming in pain. But Bart noticed Krusty's feet were small as he walked up the court's steps. Sideshow Bob's feet, on the other hand, are unbelievably long. That's when it all comes together...
 * Sideshow Bob: In ancient Greece, there was a school of thought called stoicism...
 * Bart: Wait a minute. YOU did it!
 * Sideshow Bob: Excuse me?
 * Bart: (grabs Bob's microphone) Attention, fellow children! Krusty didn't rob that store! Sideshow Bob framed him, and I've got proof!
 * Bart grabs a giant mallet and brings it down upon Bob's toes.
 * Sideshow Bob: Ow! My foot, you lousy stupid clumsy...
 * Bart holds the microphone up to Bob. The kids in the audience gasp.
 * Bart: See that? Krusty wore big, floppy shoes, but he's got little feet like all good-hearted people!
 * Bart whacks Bob's other foot, causing Bob to scream and fall over on his back.
 * Bart: Sideshow Bob really fills his shoes with big, ugly feet!
 * Bart pulls off one of Bob's shoes, exposing his foot-long foot. The kids in the audience start booing and denounce Bob for his actions against Krusty. The camera pulls back to reveal that the police are watching the show on TV and eating donuts.
 * Lou: Kid's right.
 * Eddie: How do you figure we missed that?
 * Clancy Wiggum: (also eating a donut) Get off your duffs, boys! Get down to that studio!


 * (Outside the studio, the police arrest Sideshow Bob much to Bart's relief. The media is there as they record his dramatic confession.
 * Sideshow Bob: Yes, I admit it. I hated him. His hackneyed shenanigans robbed me of my dignity for years. I played the buffoon, while he squandered a fortune on his vulgar appetites. That's why I framed Krusty! And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for these meddling kids.
 * Bart: Take him away, boys.
 * Sideshow Bob: (being carted off to jail) Treat kids like equals, they're people too! They're smarter than you think! They were smart enough to catch me!