A Little Learning

A Little Learning

Submitted by Hip

(Princess is standing on the porch of the schoolhouse ringing a bell. Oogtar and Yoshi come running up to her with their lunchboxes. Hip and Hop, both wearing backpacks, poke their heads out from behind a pipe and spy on them. Oogtar hands Princess an apple.)

Oogtar: Oogtar bring teacher!

Princess: Why thank you, Oogtar!

(Princess bites into the apple and discovers a caterpillar.)

Princess: Ugh! A caterpillar!

(Yoshi grabs the apple with his tongue and eats it.)

Oogtar: Heh heh heh! Wormabunga dude!

Yoshi: Mmm! *burp*

Princess: That’s not funny, Oogtar! I could’ve eaten that worm! Inside, now! Both of you!

Yoshi: Yoshi no understand why Princess mad! Caterpillar delicious!

(Hip and Hop giggle.)

Hop: School looks like-

Hip: A blast!

Hop: Let’s go!

(Hip and Hop start to run off, but Koopa reaches his arms out and grabs them.)

Koopa: You will not go to school! No lizard of mine is gonna learn good citizenship!

Hop: Aw c’mon-

Hip: King Dad!

(Koopa drops them.)

Koopa: No! You will grow up to be sneaky two-faced cheating illiterates! Just like your dad!

Hop: You forgot-

Hip: Lying!

Koopa: Lying! Of course! An excellent trait! No school! Understand?

(Hip and Hop cross their fingers behind their backs.)

Hip and Hop: Yes King Dad!

(Koopa walks off.)

Hop: Why King Dad mad?

Hip: Lying is an excellent trait!

(Hip and Hop run up to the schoolhouse, knocking over two cavepeople.)

Man: Koopa Kids? What they do here? Me no like!

(In the schoolhouse, Princess and the students are standing and looking at the flag.)

Everyone: I pledge allegience, to the flag, of the United Land of Dinosaur World!

(Hip and Hop show up.)

Hip and Hop: And to the repulsiveness for which he stands, one Koopa, underground, reprehensible, with lizards and Goombas for all!

Princess: Hip? Hop? What are you doing here?

Hop: We wanna go-

Hip: To school!

Hop: ‘Cept King Dad-

Hip: Doesn’t want us to!

Princess: I’m sure he doesn’t! You might learn how to behave yourselves!

(The cavepeople and Mario show up at the door.)

Man: No way, Princess! Cavepeople just say no to Koopa Kids!

Mario: The whole town’s upset, Princess!

Princess: I’ll be right back, class!

(Princess leaves and closes the door.)

Oogtar: Look bad for you, Koopa dudes! But Oogtar know how get lizard kids on Princess good side! Here!

(Oogtar hands Hip and Hop two large gumballs and laughs.)

Yoshi: Gum? But Yoshi thought-

(Oogtar elbows Yoshi out of the way.)

Oogtar: Fresh from trickle tree! Teacher dig dude blow bubbles!

(Hip and Hop start to chew the gum.)

Oogtar: Biggest bubbles best!

(The grown-ups are arguing on the porch.)

Princess: You complain about the Koopas, but when they decide to do something to improve themselves, you’re against it!

Mario: Well, she’s got a point! Don’t you think we should give them a chance?

Man: Maybe one chance!

Princess: Good! I’m sure even a Koopa can be made into a good citizen!

(Princess walks inside, only to have Hip and Hop’s bubbles burst and get gum all over the three of them. Oogtar and Yoshi laugh. They manage to get most of the gum off.)

Princess: I don’t like gum in my classroom, and this is why!

Hip: But we thought-

Princess: You’re new here, so I won’t punish you. But from now on, no gum! Unless you’ve got enough to share with everyone!

(Hip and Hop nod as Oogtar smirks at them.)

Princess: Now Oogtar, I want you and Yoshi to show Hip and Hop around today!

Oogtar: What? No way cave babe!

Princess: It’s that, or clean the wooly mammoth stable after school!

(Oogtar grumbles.)

Princess: Good!

(Princess blows a whistle.)

Princess: Outside, everyone! Time for recess!

(Cut to the playground. A caveboy throws a ball next to Hip, who picks it up.)

Hop: Time to heat up-

Hip: This wimpy game!

(Hip and Hop laugh. Hip punctures a hole in the ball with his fingernail and it deflates. He throws it next to Princess and she picks it up.)

Princess: Hang on, kids! I’ll get another one!

(Hip pulls a fireball out of his backpack as Princess runs off for a replacement ball.)

Hip: Hey cave klutz! Try dodging this!

(Hip throws the fireball at Oogtar.)

Oogtar: Fireballs! Help!

(Yoshi eats the fireball.)

Yoshi: Fireballs! Yum!

(More fireballs are thrown at them and Yoshi just eats them up. The students dodge the ones Yoshi missed. Hip and Hop chase after Oogtar and hurl more fireballs.)

Hop: Now this is hot!

(Oogtar runs into a swing and gets spun into the air towards the way he came.)

Oogtar: Woah!

(Yoshi runs into the other swing and goes flying too.)

Yoshi: Yaaah!

Oogtar: Whoa!

(Oogtar lands on a seesaw. Yoshi lands on the other end and Oogtar goes flying into the air. He flies into the jungle gym and gets tangled in some vines. Hip and Hop run up with fireballs in their hands.)

Hip: Zeroing in on target!

Hop: Five, four, three, two-

Hip and Hop: One!

(They throw the fireballs at the bone bar holding up the vines and Oogtar falls to the ground. Hip and Hop grin, but Yoshi eats up their backpacks as they reach in for more fireballs.)

Hip: Hey! Where’s my-

(Yoshi burps.)

(Hip, Hop, Yoshi, and Oogtar start beating each other up. Yoshi sticks his tongue out to grab a berry from a bush. Princess runs up to them and blows her whistle. They stop fighting and line up.)

Princess: Oogtar! I’m ashamed of you!

Oogtar: Me? Hey, but-

(Hip and Hop hide behind Princess and make goony faces at Oogtar.)

Princess: It’s hard being a new student, Oogtar! We should make them feel at home! From now on, I want you all to be good friends! Alright?

(Hip and Hop nod.)

Princess: Good! Let’s all get back to the classroom.)

(Princess walks off.)

Hip, Hop, Oogtar, and Yoshi: Augh!

(Cut to Neon Castle. Koopa is sitting on his throne.)

Koopa: Sure is quiet around here! I wonder where Hip and Hop are? Well, whatever they’re doing, I hope they’re up to no good! Think I’ll take a look around!

(Koopa walks off. Cut to the schoolhouse. Everyone is inside.)

Princess: Alright students! We’re going to have a science fair!

(Oogtar sticks some leaves together in a flowerpot.)

Oogtar: Cross eggplant with rutabaga, get eggabaga!

Hip: Or cross Oogtar-

Hop: With broccoli-

Hip and Hop: And get Oogli!

(They laugh. Oogtar starts to walk over to them but Princess gets in his way. Later, everyone is working on their science projects. Hip and Hop are working on a volcano, while Oogtar and Yoshi are working on the eggabaga.)

Oogtar: Oh!

(Yoshi uses his tongue to tilt the stool Hop is standing on. He falls on Hip, who lands face-first in the volcano. Hip shakes the clay off his face and looks at Oogtar and Yoshi, who just smile at each other. Cut to nighttime. Hip and Hop have snuck into the schoolhouse and Hip places a Piranha Plant in the eggabaga pot.

Hip: Oogli’s in for a surprise tomorrow-

Hop: When his eggabaga turns out to be-

Hip: A Piranha mama!

(Hip hides the Piranha Plant.)

Hip: Now to make our volcano-

Hop: A real blowout!

(Hop hands Hip a fireball and he places it into the volcano. Hop hands Hip a pipe which also gets placed inside.)

Hop: I love-

Hip: School!

(Cut to morning. Princess is standing on the porch as cavepeople walk in.)

Princess: Welcome to Dome City’s very first science fair!

(Mario and Luigi walk up to Princess.)

Princess: And here are my judges!

Mario: I’ve got to hand it to you, Princess! I still can’t believe you’ve turned Hip and Hop into good students!

Princess: Good might be stretching it, but still, I’m awfully proud of them! Wait ‘til you see their project!

(They walk inside. Hip and Hop are in a cave underneath the schoolhouse. There is a pipe with a valve leading up to the volcano in the cave.)

Hip: And she hasn’t seen-

Hop: The best of it!

Hip: Remember how it goes?

Hop: You tap once, I turn it a little.

Hip: I tap twice-

Hop: I give it a lot!

(Koopa is walking through the castle.)

Koopa: Hip! Hop! Where are you?

(Koopa trips over a pipe.)

Koopa: Ow! Dawdling dinosaurs! When will those awful offspring of mine learn to pick up their... pipes?

(Koopa follows the pipeline out of the castle and sees it goes into a warp pipe.)

Koopa: The warp pipe to Dome City? I wonder. Only one way to find out!

(Koopa jumps in. Cut to the classroom. Hip is standing next to the volcano and is surrounded by everyone.)

Princess: Hip, you want to explain your project to the judges?

Hip: This is a volcano!

(Hip stomps once and Hop turns the valve a bit. Some smokes comes out of the volcano.)

Mario: Hmm, how’d he do that?

Princess: Very impressive!

Yoshi: Like real volcano, Oogtar!

Oogtar: Yeah, make our eggabaga look like day-old stegosaurus burger! Hey! Me get idea! Come on!

(Oogtar walks over to a bag of fertilizer and pours it on the eggabaga.)

Oogtar: Maybe with lots of fertilizer, plant grow extra fast!

(They turn around as the Piranha Plant starts to grow bigger. Koopa comes out of the warp pipe in Dome City.)

Koopa: I knew it! The little scaleface snuck off to school!

(Koopa enters the cave and picks up Hop.)

Hop: Woah! King Dad! You don’t belong here!

Koopa: Neither do you! When I get you and your brother home-

Hop: Give us a chance! We’re doing an experiment even you’d be proud of! Yeow!

(Koopa pulls Hop away and the lever goes spinning out of control.)

Hip: You can never predict when exactly a volcano is going to erupt!

(Lava starts blasting out of the volcano and everyone screams. The song Rockin' the High School starts up.)

The temperature's risin' It's getting' hot Rock rock Rockin' the high school Boys are comin' Ready or not Rock rock Rockin' the high school One big tree's gonna steal the show Goin' down easy Gonna swallow you whole We can't stop it now It's gonna explode (gonna explode) We're rockin' the high school (yeah) Rock rock Rockin' the high school Rockin' the high school Rock rock Rockin' the high school One big tree's gonna steal the show Goin' down easy Gonna swallow you whole We can't stop it now Cuz it's gonna explode That's right, it's gonna explode Rock rock Rockin' the high school (yeah)

(Everyone else runs out of the schoolhouse as the lava breaks a hole in the roof. Hop and Koopa climb out of the cave. Hip jumps out of a window and lands on Hop. He looks at Koopa and they run off. Koopa chases after them. He chases them through the jungle gym but falls off. The Piranha Plant jumps out of a window. It chases Koopa, who jumps into Hip and Hop’s arms. They bump into a tree and the Piranha Plant starts munching away. It eats the Koopas whole. Yoshi then eats the Piranha Plant. The song ends.)

Yoshi: Oh, Yoshi no feel good!

(Princess tilts the warp pipe so it faces Yoshi.)

Princess: Here, Yoshi!

(Yoshi spits out the Koopas and they go flying into the pipe.)

Princess: No school tomorrow, boys!

Hop: You mean it’s a holiday?

Princess: No! You’re expelled! Forever! The lava’s headed for the city!

Mario: No problemo, Princess!

(Mario and Luigi pull out their wrenches. They disassemble the pipeline and direct it back into the warp pipe. Mario goes in with it.)

Mario: I’ll be right back!

(Mario jumps out.)

Princess: What did you do with it?

Mario: A little bed warming for Papa Koopa!

(Koopa is on his bed, as the lava is coming out of a pipe in his bedroom and flooding the room.)

Koopa: Hip! Hop! Get me out of here! I’ll send you to school! Gladly!

The End