Granny Baby


 * [Granny sits across from the Jimmy Dummy, trying to open a small bottle, as the real Jimmy enters with the Tonic behind his back.]
 * Granny: Good morning. [points to the dummy] I was just telling you over there about my deviated spatchum. On cold mornings it rattles like the Tin Man throwing up a hoagie full of wood screws
 * Jimmy: What’s in the bottle?
 * Granny: Tongue De-Furrer. Your tongue gets furry when you’re old. Sometimes I wake up it has chewing on it.
 * Jimmy: Let me open that for you. [Jimmy takes the bottle, turns his back - and when he turns back granny’s medicine is GLOWING and his flask is empty.] I think you’ll feel much better and quieter - after you drink this. [She up-ends it and smacks her lips distastefully.]
 * Granny: Tastes funny. Of course, what do I know – after sixty your sense of taste completely disapp- [Granny transform into a baby]
 * Jimmy: Granny?!


 * Granny Baby: Holy fiber cast I'm topless.
 * Jimmy: Oh man this isn't good Where'd you get the diaper?
 * Granny Baby: "I was already wearing one. [Poops in her diaper] Ooohh...I need my diapie changed!
 * Jimmy: Problem. Goddard, change diaper. [He refuses]
 * Granny Baby: Change me now! [cries]


 * Libby: What was your first clue?
 * Jimmy: So you’ll do it?
 * Cindy: As much as I detest helping smug pseudo-brainiacs, my nurturing female instincts will not let me leave a helpless infant in your care. Where’s the new diaper?
 * Jimmy: New diaper? What's wrong the one she's wearing?
 * Cindy: It's full of poo! I though you were a geinus.
 * Granny Baby: Hey he's a guy. ha ha ha ha
 * Libby: [gasps] He...she she talked.


 * Granny Baby: Could we hurry up? I'm getting dizzy from my own fumes here! Ooohh Dolly
 * Cindy: How long she gonna be a baby?


 * Cindy: Well, how many diapers do we need?
 * Granny Baby: [Poops purposely 3 times] Well, I'll err, on the side of hundreds.


 * [Jimmy picks up bottles of DANGEROUS CHEMICALS (labeled as such). Cindy looks at a shelf, carrying Granny, who holds a rattle.]
 * Granny Baby: I’m bored! Make a funny face and let me hit you with a rattle.
 * Cindy: No.[Granny Baby cries.] Okay, okay! [Cindy does a funny face and Granny Baby hits her in a face with her rattle.]
 * Granny Baby: It's fun hitting you. Ha ha ha ha!
 * Jimmy: [whispering] Granny Granny quiet.
 * Guy: Did that baby just talk?
 * Jimmy: No. Ha ha, why? Everyone know babies can't talk.
 * Granny Baby: [To People] That's right. 'Cos if we could the Videotubbies’d became the subway, it’d make their head aerials spin. Ha ha ha ha!
 * [The people gasp. Jimmy and Cindy running from the clamoring mob.]


 * Crowd: We want the talking baby! We want the talking baby!
 * Jimmy: Goddard! Compare antidote completion with mother’s return time!


 * Jimmy: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the amazing talking baby!
 * Crowd: Oooooh!
 * [Jimmy pulls a talking doll-type STRING rigged to Granny’s back. He WINDS IT UP with his hidden fingers.]
 * Baby Granny: Hey, give me a cuddle. And a diaper change while you’re at it. Ha ha ha
 * Crowd Member #1: Hey, hey there’s a string in her back.
 * Jimmy: Oh no I have been found out!
 * Crowd Member #1: Yes you have, son!