Two Feet High and Rising

Scene I: The Lemur Habitat
(King Julien is seen sitting on a bamboo lawn chair. Maurice is heard off screen filling up balloons)

Maurice: Oooh, that’s a good one. Oooh, and now even bigger! My, that one tied off nicely.

Julien: Merciful mercies! What is taking so long?!

(Maurice, standing on their boom-box next to an air compressor, finishes filling up one last balloon)

Maurice: Sorry your majesty. Just securing these balloons onto your… er... uh...

Julien: (Quick and eagerly) Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time-Floaty-Throne?

Maurice: (Slowly) Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time-Floaty-Throne? Sure. Let’s go with that. All right, let’s get the pampering over with. (Shudders)

(Maurice is seen brushing Julien’s teeth, brushing his back, and grooming Julien)

Julien: Oooh yeah, baby. Brushy brushy! That’s right, groom me. Groom me like you mean it! Give me all the grooming you’ve got!

(Maurice goes to clean Julien’s feet, but Julien shoos him away)

Julien: Ah, ah, ah, ah! There is only one set of hands that is fitting to be touching the royal feet. And that is…

(Mort stares hopefully)

Julien: The hands of the king himself.

(Mort sighs sadly. Julien begins washing his feet while Mort stares. He hops down from his throne)

Julien: There! It is time to be beholding the shiny, clean and perfectly polished royal...

Mort: (Runs over joyfully to Julien's feet) Feet!

(Julien attempts to shake Mort off of his feet)

Julien: No, Mort! Not the minty fresh king feet!

(Julien succeeds at shaking Mort off of his feet. Mort is sent flying, lands on the air compressor, knocks the valve off, and is sent rocketing into Julien. Mort smiles at Julien, who has nearly been impaled by the compressor and glares angrily at Mort.

Mort: Hi!

''They bounce off of the fake volcano and go skywards, screaming. They land on and destroy the Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time-Floaty-Throne. Julien snarls at Mort)''

Mort: (Apologetically) Oopsie.

Scene II: The Lemur Habitat (Later)
''King Julien and Maurice are seen standing on top of a rock in front of the fake volcano, preparing to give a speech. All the other animals appear to be in attendance. ''

Maurice: Ahem. You have all been called hear to dig a royal proclamation from King Julien himself.

Marlene: (Quietly to Burt’s trunk) Thirty peanuts says this is about his feet.

Burt: Make it forty.

Marlene: Deal.

Julien:  (Clears his throat) From this moment, that is happening now and on, those who touch the king's feet, which are mine, shall be punished most savagely! (He unrolls a piece of parchment with a picture of a foot in a "No" sign) I drew that. Me. I did.'' ''

''The crowd collectively groans. Marlene holds out her hand and Burt spits out peanuts from his trunk.''

Skipper: (Barely heard above the groaning) Aww man.

Mort:  (Shocked) No feet?

Some of the animals begin to leave.

Skipper: (To Kowalski) Well, that’s five minutes of our lives we’re not getting back. (walks away)

Kowalski: Until I get my time machine fully functioning. (Kowalski follows Skipper)

King Julien: Wait! (Angrily) This is a very serious proclamation that I am proclaiming!

King Julien slaps the parchment onto the side of the volcano and points to it with both hands.

King Julien: Look! It is posted right here, on the plastic volcano! And anyone who dares to be touching my beautiful feets shall be banish-ed from my kingdom, FOREVER!

Maurice: (More quietly each time) Ever, ever, ever.

King Julien: What are you doing?

Maurice: Echoing you for dramatic effect.

King Julien: Oh, nice. I like it. Now, go to rebuilding my Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time-Floaty-Throne and make it floatier and SUPER-DUPER comfy.

''Maurice walks off. Mort leans in towards King Julien’s feet.''

Mort: (Sadly) Banished... forever?

King Julien: FOREVER!

Maurice: (More quietly each time) Ever, ever, ever.

Scene III: The Lemur Habitat (Night)
(Mort is seen trying to fall asleep. He looks at King Julien’s feet. Julien is sleeping.

Mort: Must not think about feet. Must... count sheep.

(Mort lays down to sleep and dreams that he is in a meadow.)

Mort: Yay, sheep! (Sheep begin jumping over a small fence in front of him) One, two... (yawning) Three…

(In a puff of smoke, the sheep turn into King Julien’s foot.)

Foot: (With King Julien's voice) Feet, Mort. You must count feet!

Mort: Okay!

(Mort skips after the feet and wakes up hugging the real feet. Mort gasps and leaps away.)

Mort: (Scared and quietly) Oh no! Not the feet! But I must touch. No, no, no, no.

(Mort locks himself to a tree)

Mort: Oh, that’s good. Much better.

Scene IV: The Lemur Habitat (The next day)
(Mort, still chained to the tree, again wakes up to find himself hugging Julien’s feet. Mort screams, causing Julien to wake up, screaming too. Mort screams again, Julien screams again, Mort screams again.)

Julien: What in the feets are you doing?

Julien kicks Mort, causing the tree to collide with the top of the Royal Bouncy, and come flying down to crush Julien.

Mort: (nervous) I... I... I... You... You... You...

Julien: (angry) You... You... You are hereby banish-ed from my kingdom'' forever! ''(silence) Maurice!

Maurice: (More quietly each time) Ever... ever... ev... W-w-wait. You mean that Mort is exiled for eternity?

Julien: Forever or for eternity. I’m flexible, but the no feet-touching law must be of zero tolerance!

(Mort looks sadly, Julien turns his back to Mort, and Mort drags the tree off screen, crying)

Scene V: The Zoo
''Mort is seen unchained from his tree, still walking slowly and sadly away. A foot poofs into existence in front of Mort.''

Foot: You cannot escape us, Mort.

(Another foot appears)

Foot 2: Hug us. We need hugs!

Mort begins swinging his arms at the imaginary feet.

Mort: Oh get away.

Marlene is confused by Mort’s behavior and walks over to talk to him.

Marlene: Hey. Hey, Mort. Yeah I heard about the whole foot banishing thing, and if there’s anything I can do—

Mort jumps into Marlene’s arms.

Mort: (Quickly) Trust me, cure me, fix me, save me!!!

Marlene: Whoa whoa, okay I’m an otter, not a miracle worker, but I do know someone who takes the hard cases.

Mort: (Brushes Marlene’s face with his tail) Yipee!

Scene VI: The Penguin HQ
Mort is seen drawing feet on the ground with blue chalk

Skipper: Negative Marlene, we’re not accepting new recruits at this time.

Marlene: Oh come on! Have a heart.

Skipper: No thank you! Mort would never pass our psych screening. How Rico slipped through is still shrouded in mystery.

''Rico is seen inside the TV tapping his beak against the glass. Kowalski is taking notes. Rico waves and Private claps.''

Rico: Ehhhyyyy!!!

Marlene: Mort really isn’t that bad, are ya Mort? Mort?

''Mort is seen running into pairs of feet he has drawn on walls with chalk. Kowalski, Rico and Private are all watching intently.''

Marlene: Okay, yeah, he is that bad. But that’s why he needs you! You’re the only one who can help him! You are a role model. You are a natural leader!

Skipper: (flattered) Well… guilty as charged.

''Mort is stuck on the wall and twitching. ''

Mort: Please… help… me.

Skipper: Sad-eyes! Fall in, now.

Mort stands next to Skipper, at attention.

Skipper: Recruit, I’m going to mold you like a lump of wet clay.

Marlene: (leaving) Yeah… have fun with that.

Mort: Oh goodie, I’m wet clay!

Scene VII: Top of the Penguin HQ
''Skipper and Mort are up top. Skipper blows a whistle and Mort runs. A board carving of a foot (if that's what that it) appears'' Mort: What's that, Mr. Foot? You want a hug? Okay- OWWWW! (gets shocked and another carving comes up) Oh all right; hug then- OOOWW! (gets shocked again; another one comes in) Well if you must- OWWWW! ''After another shocking Mort climbs on the monkey bars. Kowalski shows up with a down arrow sign, showing Rico putting another foot carving underneath the bars.'' Mort: If you insist on hug... OWWWWW! (drops and gets shocked. Mort goes to Skipper dazed) Di-he-he-he-d I-I-I-I-I-I do-o-o-o-o go-o-o-o-o-o-od? (Skipper sighs)

Scene VIII: The Penguins HQ
Mort is sitting on a chair with Private as the pycodtrist. Private: Say it with me: They're just feet, not love. Mort: They're just feet, not love.

Scene IX: Top of the Penguin HQ
Skipper blows the whistle and Mort runs, coming to the electrical foot. Mort: Hmm, what's that? You want a hug? OK- OWWW! (gets shock and another foot comes up) No! No hug for you! (runs into another foot) Say please. OWWWWW! (gets shocked again, making Skipper annoyed)

Scene X: The Lemur Habitat
''Julien is on his Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time Floaty Throne, sipping a smoothie. Maurice is putting more balloons on and inflating them.'' Maurice: Oh, sure is empty around here without Mort. Julien: Yes, and quiet. Maurice: (More quietly each time) Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet... Julien: (a little upset) Yes. I do not miss him one little bit. ''Maurice, surprised, lets go of the inflated balloon making it deflate, flying around the habitat. Maurice: (serious) Now, your Majesty, you don't really mean... Julien: Maurice, I am not hearing the phffft. Without the phffft, my Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time-Floaty-Throne would just sit here and be a stupid chair... on the ground. Phffft!

Scene XI: Top of the Penguin HQ
''As Mort jumps onto a pile of sacks, the foot carving pops up. Mort closes his eyes, looks away from the foot, and holds his hand out to it.''

Mort: No! No hug for you!

''Mort runs off, with his eyes open. Another foot carving pops up behind him.''

Mort: Or you!

''Mort hops off the sacks, as another foot carving pops up. Mort looks at it for second, but says nothing, then runs off again.''

Skipper: (suddenly smiling and impressed) Ahhh!

''Mort runs under the monkey bars, evading another foot carving, which was under the monkey bars. After emerging from the monkey bars, another foot carving pops up as he runs towards it.''

Mort: (cutely) Don't look at me like that! (giving in) Alright, a little-AHHHHHH! (gets electrocuted)

Skipper: (in despair) Ughhh!

Scene XII: Outside Alice's Office
The window is open, and we can see Alice hopping up and down.

Alice: (talking to herself) When I find the wise acre who took my shoe, I'm gonna-BOUAHHHH! (knocks into something, glass breaking sounds are heard)

The penguins, wearing gas masks, pop their heads around the wall very briefly, before hiding behind it again.

Scene XIII: The Penguin HQ
''Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico walk into the Penguin HQ. All three of them are wearing gas masks. Kowalski and Rico are holding a long stick, which has a large, pungent boot hanging from it.''

Skipper (through gas mask): Quickly. Long exposure could contaminate the entire sector.

Private, who is also wearing a gas mask, takes a blindfold off Mort.

Private (through gas mask): This is for your own good, Mort!

''Mort walks towards a large cardboard cutting of a foot, just like those which had appeared on his training course. Kowalski is holding it.''

Mort: Oh, I wanna hug it! (stopping himself from doing it) But I shouldn't! Skipper (through gas mask): You'll do more than hug it, recruit! (turns to Rico) Rico! Engage!

''Rico picks up Mort, while Kowalski lifts away the cardboard cutting of the foot, revealing the large boot. Rico shoves Mort head-first into the boot.''

Private (through gas mask): (disgusted) Oh, the horror!

''After a few seconds of being inside the boot, Mort emerges from it, walking backwards clumsily. He gasps.''

Mort: (dazed) King Julien, feet...bad! (falls to the floor) Private (through gas mask): It worked! (hi-fives Skipper)

Scene XIV: The Penguin Habitat
''Skipper blows the whistle to start the training exercise. Mort runs onto a pile of sacks. A cardboard cutting of a foot pops up.''

Mort: Bad feet. No.

''Mort runs towards another foot carving. He does not say anything, and goes towards another.''

Mort: No!

''Mort climbs under the monkey bars. At the end, another foot pops up.''

Mort: Bad feet!

''Mort, nearing the end of the exercise, runs up to another foot carving. He gasps in awe.''

Mort: (seemingly wanting to hug the foot) Aw, sweet foot! (runs off)

Mort comes back with an uprooted palm tree.

Mort: (angrily) HUG THIS! (smashes the foot with the tree.)

Marlene: Wow, he's violent! But cured! Skipper: (happily) Like a Christmas ham!

''Kowalski puts a golden medal with a cross through a foot on Mort's neck. Mort falls over due to the heaviness.''

Kowalski: He is 100% lemur foot-phobic! Skipper: He won't even be touching his own toes!

Suddenly, a shriek is heard.

Private: (pointing to the sky) Skipper! Look! Skipper: Rico!

''Rico regurgitates a pair of binoculars for Skipper to look through. Skipper looks through them, and sees Julien floating away on his Super-Comfy Pamper Time Floaty Throne.''

King Julien: Help! I am in need of helping! Skipper: Kowalski! Kowalski: (taking notes on his clipboard) Gaining altitude at the current rate, and, given the cross-wind, I project the balloons will be punctured in...(the binoculars zoom in on the clock) 22.6 seconds.

The binoculars see Julien and his throne floating towards the clock tower, then show a hot dog cart right below.

Skipper: Hot dog! (takes off the binoculars) Ringtail's in trouble! Mort: King Julien! Skipper: Suit up, men! (looks at Mort) You too, Private. Private: But I'm Private! Skipper: Alright, he's Private Number 2. Mort: (happily) I like number two!

Scene XV: Central Park Zoo/Zoo Entrance
''A man is seen giving a balloon to a kid, as the penguins slide past. The penguins then take the other balloons.''

''Meanwhile, at the zoo entrance, a boy is flying a kite. However, the penguins snip it.''

''Skipper is then seen tying a rope to a wooden plank. The penguins are then seen holding onto each other's feet, with Rico at the top. They are flying on a kite with balloons attached.''

Skipper: Operation: Luftballoons - is a go!

''A man is then seen frying hot dogs at the zoo entrance. Julien notices this from his Super-Comfy Pamper Time Floaty Throne.''

Julien: What? (feels the heat and jumps around) Oh, hot hot hot! Help!

''The clock strikes forward a minute. The penguins then coming flying in to try and save Julien. The balloons attached to Julien's throne pop, one-by-one. Julien frantically tries to scramble to safety.''

Skipper: (as the penguins approach Julien) Cheese and crackers! Struggling will just make it worse!

Julien: (struggling) Aahh! I cannot hear you over my frantic and panicked struggling! (the balloons continue to pop)

Kowalski: (approaching Julien with his flipper out) Hold...still...(the balloons are still popping) Almost..got you...

''Julien's last balloon pops, and Julien falls seemingly to his death, missing Kowalski's flipper, and yelling. However, Mort saves Julien by catching his foot in a rope.''

Mort: (looking down at King Julien) I got you! Yay!

''Mort pulls Julien up. However, he sees Julien's feet, and remembers that Julien's feet are bad.''

Mort: Oh no.

Mort lets Julien go down a bit.

King Julien: What? What is it with the stopping? Yank me into safety already!

Mort: King Julien, feet...(turns his head away) bad.

King Julien: What? No...(a bit of the rope snaps) no...feet good! (points at his feet) Please...I never thought I'd say this, but-TOUCH MY FEET! GRAB THEM!

Skipper (in Mort's memory): The boy will never touch Julien's feet again in his life!

King Julien: Hold my feet! (another bit of the rope snaps) Squeeze them!

Kowalski (in Mort's memory): (slowly) He is 100% lemur foot-phobic. (another bit of the rope snaps)

King Julien: Mort! Love them!

Private (in Mort's memory): They're just feet - not love!

Mort's attitude changes.

Mort: FEEEET!

''The final bit of rope on Julien's foot snaps, and Julien falls downwards. However, Mort manages to hold onto his foot at the last second.''

Mort: (happily) Yay!

Scene XVI: The Lemur Habitat
The animals are all seen crowding around the Lemur Habitat, with Julien standing at the plastic volcano.

Marlene: This is about feet again, isn't it? Burt: (quietly) Déjà vu!

Private: We tried to make Mort foot-phobic, but we - failed. Kowalski: Ironically, if not for our failure, Julien would be...sleeping with the hot dogs.

Marlene looks at Kowalski, confused.

Kowalski: Dead. Skipper: Exactly. That's not failure, that's redefined objectives. Marlene: (still confused) Riiiight.

Julien is shown standing at the plastic volcano, besides the parchment, which is still on the volcano.

Julien: Attention peoples! I am hereby decreeing that my new no-feet touching decree, is a decree I am undecreeing FOREVER! Maurice: (from the side, more quietly each time) Ever, ever, ever. (takes off the parchment and falls down)

''The animals all groan and all of them leave, with the exception of the penguins and Marlene. Mort is revealed to have been behind Burt's foot, sitting down. Mort smiles at Skipper, everyone looks at Mort, then they turn to look at Julien with serious looks on their faces.''

Julien: What? Okay, fine. (quickly) I also officially thank Mort for saving me, welcome him back to the kingdom, blah blah blah blah blah. Mort: I'm home! (jumps towards King Julien's feet) Julien: No! Not the feet!

Mort looks up at Julien very sadly, as if he is about to cry.

Julien: Fine. I shall be permitting one hug. How bad could one hug be?

''Mort giggles, runs to the feet, and wraps himself around them. Julien screams.''

Julien: It's bad! Maurice: (More quietly each time) Bad, bad, bad.

THE END