Swapper


 * Victoria: I'd like some lemonade please.
 * Lilo: Uh... one glass of lemonade coming right up. Stitch? [Stitch jumps out of the lemonade bowl and starts changing color] I'm sorry. My dog drank all the lemonade.
 * [Stitch turns orange]
 * Victoria: Oh, he's turning my favorite color!
 * Lilo: Hey, orange is my favorite color, too!
 * Victoria: Really? Most girls like pink.
 * Lilo: I hate pink.
 * Victoria: Me too!
 * [at that moment, Stitch turns pink, making the girls laugh]
 * Victoria: My name's Victoria.
 * Lilo: I have to stop talking to you now.
 * Victoria: Why?
 * Lilo: 'Cause after your vacation, you'll just leave with your family like all the others. So, even though I take pictures of tourists, I don't see them socially. It's a defense mechanism.
 * Victoria: But I'm not a tourist. I just moved here.
 * Lilo: Moved? Okay, I can talk to you. I'm Lilo.
 * Victoria: Hi, Lilo. So... do you take hula?
 * Lilo: Are you kidding? Hula is my life!
 * Victoria: I'm starting hula class tomorrow. Maybe I'll see you there.
 * Lilo: Oh, you will.
 * Stitch: Ih!
 * Victoria: Okay, well, bye... I mean, aloha.


 * [Experiment 355 escapes just before Gantu can transport him to Hämsterviel and swaps their minds via eye beam]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Why didn't I just fire you and--?! And... What is going on here? I'm so large and rubbery!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Ugh! A big fluffy rat! Wait, no... THAT'S ME!!
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: You mean, I have become you?!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: And you've become me! [sneezes loudly]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Why are you making such annoying noises?!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: [begins scratching so hard that his fur sheds] Apparently, I'm allergic to your dandruff, sir. [sneezes again] But not to worry. I'm sure the experiment will swap us back to our normal bodies.
 * [Swapper escapes the ship via elevator]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: NO! Come back here! [tries to press the buttons] Buttons too tiny! Oh! How do you do anything with these flabby sloth-like appendages?!
 * [Swapper escapes into the forest]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Once again, I am forced to pay for your incompetence! Now I must go and capture that experiment myself!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Yes, sir. Then you can swap us back?
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Yes, or maybe... NO! For me, that would be going back to prison!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Yes, I suppose it... [sneezes] would.
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: [laughs maniacally] I'm free at last!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: But, sir, that's not fair!
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: WHO CARE'S ABOUT FAIR?!


 * [Lilo is hurt after Mertle told Victoria that she's weird]
 * Pleakley: Lilo, you haven't eaten a thing. And I made your favorite: Chocolate Green Bean Surprise!
 * Jumba: There is hardly any radioactivity this time.
 * Pleakley: You did it! Not again!
 * Jumba: Ah, relax! I'm joking! Mostly...
 * Pleakley: Well, Lilo didn't think it was funny, and I didn't, either!
 * Jumba: Please! Little girl is sad because you managed to ruin perfectly good chocolate with disgusting green beanses.
 * Lilo: I'm not sad because of the food. I'm sad because I almost made a friend that doesn't think I'm weird, and Mertle ruined it.
 * Pleakley: Whoo! Thank goodness! I thought it was something serious, like my green bean recipe! Uh... I mean, you almost made a friend today? That's nice.
 * Lilo: Everybody thinks I'm weird. Mertle, and Yuki, Teresa, and Elena. I thought maybe Victoria thought I was normal and be my friend.
 * Pleakley: It's never too late to make a friend. You just need to reach out to her, and show her you can be a friend right back.
 * Lilo: I guess I can throw a welcome party for her.
 * Pleakley: Did you say party?! I'm all about parties! What's the theme?
 * Lilo: I've got a theme: Lilo's Not Weird.
 * Pleakley: Hmm, "Lilo's Not Weird". I'm not sure that's a good theme, because objectively, you are pretty... [Lilo glares at him] Pretty! You are so pretty! Oh, so pretty, and witty! So, "Lilo's Not Weird" is the theme then. I have some great non-weird recipes. Oh! And we can supplies from the exciting new super store just outside of town. They have incredible party platters with incredible prices!
 * Lilo: It's official! We're throwing a party!
 * Stitch: Yeah, yeah, yeah!


 * [while running errand's for Victoria's party, Lilo and Stitch find capture Swapper, who swaps their bodies shortly afterward]
 * Lilo/Stitch: What happened? How come I'm you?
 * Stitch/Lilo: Cousin!
 * Lilo/Stitch: But... I can't be you for the party! That would be so not normal! Make him swap us back, Stitch.
 * Stitch/Lilo: [stands up Swapper's container] Ahem. Kemike twan toka?
 * [Swapper blows a raspberry at Stitch, infuriating him to punch the container; unfortunately, since Lilo's body isn't as strong as Stitch's, the only thing that occurred was Stitch's hand hurting]
 * Lilo/Stitch: Stitch, you can try to break stuff when you're me. I'm not built for mayhem and destruction. We gotta talk to Jumba. But... if we go back now, we won't have time to shop for the party. We're gonna have to split up to do our chores.
 * Stitch/Lilo: Oh.... Okeetaka!


 * [after failing to buy the party platters, Lilo checks on Stitch at the beauty parlor]
 * Lilo/Stitch: Stitch, the theme of the party is "Lilo's Not Weird". I can't show up with that hair, because that hair is weird. [points to Stitch's hairstyle, which is a wild blue Mohawk]
 * Stitch/Lilo: Sorry. All my fault.
 * Lilo/Stitch: It's okay. I'll just wear a hat and serve peanut butter and jelly because there's no party platter. Just as long as we get our own bodies back.


 * [Lilo and Stitch return home with Swapper]
 * Jumba: Well, well, well! Experiment 355, we meet again.
 * [Swapper's eyes glow, but Jumba quickly covers the container with a towel]
 * Jumba: Uh, uh, uh! None of your tricky trickiness with Jumba. Jumba likes evil genius brain.
 * Lilo/Stitch: We kinda figured out what his power is. He's a brain-swapper, right?
 * Jumba: He once swapped me and wife for an entire month.
 * Lilo/Stitch: You must've learned a lot about each other.
 * Jumba: Oh, yeah. Now she's ex-wife. [chuckles] Long story, don't ask.
 * Lilo/Stitch: We've gotta get him to swap us back.
 * Jumba: 355 will swap you back when he is good and ready. Has mind of his own. [laughs] "Mind of his own." Is funny, no?


 * [Pleakley lifts the towel covering Swapper's container, causing him to swap Jumba and Pleakley's minds]
 * Pleakley/Jumba: Oh, no! I've been zapped into an alternate dimension! A place where the laws of time and space are topsy-turvy!
 * Jumba/Pleakley: Don't be ridiculous! Our minds have been swapped. You are seeing world through my infinite superior eyes.
 * Pleakley/Jumba: Superior?! But the world looks so... weird! And to tell you the truth, tubby!
 * Jumba/Pleakley: Ah! At least I can see difference between near and far. [slips and falls] Stupid single eye!


 * [Hämsterviel is sitting at a sidewalk]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Oh, this is inconceivable! I am Doctor Jacques Von Hämsterviel! How is it that I cannot find one stupid little experiment?!
 * Man: [hands Hämsterviel a few dollars] Here ya, fella. Chin up, big guy! I'm sure it'll get better.
 * [Hämsterviel growls with rage and contacts Gantu via cell phone]
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Hello?
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: It is I!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: I knew you'd call.
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Oh, alright, I admit it! It isn't easy being so big and clumsy! There! Are you happy now?!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Getting there. What do you want?
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: I want to know where we can find that stupid experiment so we can swap bodies again!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: I know just the place you should check. [sneezes and wipes his nose]


 * [Mertle and the other girls leave but Victoria stays because she's having fun; Hämsterviel lifts the roof of the house]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Greetings, Earthling pack people! I have come for the experiment known as 355!
 * Victoria: Whoa!
 * Stitch/Lilo: Meega nala kweesta!
 * Jumba/Pleakley: Ah, new roof insist on my install working perfectly! Keeps repedials down.
 * Pleakley/Jumba: Very thoughtful!


 * [after defeating Hämsterviel and returning to their original bodies, Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley stand outside]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Please, put me back in my own body! PUT ME BACK IN PRISON!!
 * Lilo: If you insist. Stitch, would you do the honors? After 355 swaps him back, we'll find his one true place.
 * Jumba: That 355 will not swap back willy-nilly. Must be properly motivated.
 * Stitch: Ih! [cracks his knuckles]
 * Pleakley: Wait a minute! Why not try a little positive assentive? Like offering the little guy some of my delicious cuisine as a reward?
 * Jumba: Ah, excellent idea. If 355 does not swap Hämsterviel and Gantu, he will be given nothing to eat except Aunt Pleakley's famous Chocolate Green Beanses Surprise.
 * [Swapper quivers in fear]
 * Pleakley: Must you twist everything?!