Don't Vote for This Episode

And if you're anything like your cousin Shelley, we'd be lucky to have you. Her and Frank are the best shelf stockers we've ever had.
 * Jimmy: Sorry about the diaper, but your grandfather bought adult small instead of kids small. I'd go out and get your size, but me and Maw Maw's birthday party is starting. It used to bother me that U had to share my birthday with Maw Maw, because she had way more friends than I did. And okay wouldn't give me any cake unless I sang for them in a funny voice. But tonight's birthday party is going to be great, 'cause I have any more friends then Maw Maw these days thanks to strokes, pneumonia and a bus crash on the way to Atlantic City. But I'm willing to share so we can still have a combo surprise party.
 * All: Surprise!
 * Maw Maw: My goodness. For me? I'm going to get my camera. Oh!
 * Jimmy: Seeing how happy it makes her, and knowing how forgetful she is, we can't help ourselves from doing it every time she comes back in the room.
 * Maw Maw: Why am I holding this camera?
 * All: Surprise!
 * Maw Maw: Oh, my goodness. For me?
 * Jimmy: Every year the number of candles grows, but the size of the cake stays the same. It's a tradition we've done every year. Well, almost every year. Although it was only five years ago, things were a lot different than they are today. For one, the Hungry Hungry Hippos game had all its marbles.
 * Maw Maw: New York Times crossword, you are my bitch.
 * Jimmy: And five years ago, your great-great Maw Maw hadn't lost her marbles yet either.
 * Virginia: You're in a good mood.
 * Maw Maw: Well, of course I am. I'm turning 80 tomorrow. And I can still do this. Now let's get those breakfast orders in.
 * Both: Two eggs over easy, slightly runny - Two eggs over easy, slightly runny - with bacon and buttered toast. - with bacon and buttered toast. I love you.
 * Virginia: He's awake.
 * Maw Maw: Well, somebody find out what he wants for breakfast.
 * Jimmy: And five years ago Well, let's just say I was going through a phase.
 * Burt: He, buddy.
 * Jimmy: Get out!
 * Burt: (Whimpering)
 * Virginia: Hey, big birthday tomorrow, huh? Eighteen years old. You excited?
 * Maw Maw: I have a surprise for you.
 * Virginia: Did you hear that? Maw Maw's got a surprise for you, Jimmy.
 * Jimmy: You know that's not my name! If you want to address me, you must call me "Drakkar Noir."
 * Virginia: Like the men's perfume, right?
 * Jimmy: It means "Black Dragon Ship.
 * Burt: Your makeup looks nice today.
 * Lucy: That was the third time you called me stupid today.
 * Lucy's Boyfriend: Because that's the third stupid thing you've said today. If someday we did have a daughter, naming her Princess Beyonce would be stupid.
 * Sabrina: Well, thanks for taking the time to look at my application. My cousin says you're a very busy man.
 * Barney: Yeah, I am a busy man. But never too busy to meet a new friend-slash-employee.
 * Sabrina: Wow.
 * Frank: Barney, you totally gotta hire that chick. Girls with braces have absolutely no self-esteem.
 * Barney: My mother has braces, Frank.
 * Frank: Have her stop by.
 * Maw Maw: It's after midnight. It's your birthday. It's time for you surprise. It's in the front yard.
 * Burt: Trampoline. Trampoline. Trampoline. Trampoline.
 * Jimmy: What's all that?
 * Burt: I think it's our stuff.
 * Maw Maw: Sayonara, suckers!