Hero of the Year

This is the Transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Hero of the Year".

[''The episode begins at a mountain as a long limousine with a helicopter parked atop it turns a corner. A Bulldog Chauffeur is seen driving the limo as the camera moves over to a trio of cat band members playing Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" on string instruments. A phone rings, and the camera moves over to Wes Weasely, who has a cigar in his mouth as he sits in a hot tub.'']
 * Wes Weasely: Mobius Luxury Limo Sales,

[A right hand holding a phone receiver appears from the right side of the screen.]
 * Weasely: Wes Weasely speaking. How are ya, how are ya, how are ya?

[The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view, revealing a hound butler to be holding the phone.]
 * Weasely: Look, Pallsey, I got your deluxe model out for a test drive. Rides real nice!

[As Weasely talks on the phone, the limo turns across a difficult bend in the mountain road.]
 * Weasely: I'll take two dozen. Have them delivered to my new yacht!

[''The Bulldog Chauffer screams as he stares in shock. The limo screeches to a halt as it reaches a barrier made of rocks and logs. The camera moves over to Weasely, who is promptly launched out of his hot tub. Weasely screams as he flies through the air, and grunts as he lands on his head. The water from his hot tub splashes him.'']
 * Scratch: Nobody move!

[''Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are wearing ski masks, run out from behind the barrier. Scratch is holding a laser in both his hands, and Grounder has a rope around his left arm.'']
 * Scratch: This is a limo-jacking, and we're about to change drivers!

[Scratch runs up to the limo and grabs the Bulldog Chauffeur by his collar with his right hand.]
 * Scratch: Get lost, pretty boy!

[Scratch tosses the Bulldog Chauffeur aside.]
 * Scratch: Hey, hey, hey!

[Grounder points at Scratch with his right drill.]
 * Grounder: Yeah?

[Scratch is now behind the wheel of the limo.]
 * Scratch: Ain't you gonna tie Weasely up?
 * Grounder: Well, Scratch, you said not to move!
 * Scratch: Not us! Them!

[Scratch points at Grounder with his right index finger.]
 * Scratch: We're the bad guys, we're supposed to move! Now move!

[''Scratch chomps angrily. Grounder now has the rope in both his drills.'']
 * Grounder [muttering]: Aww, gee whiz, Scratch! "Don't move! Move!"

[As Grounder continues muttering, he rolls up to Weasely and ties the rope around his body.]
 * Grounder [muttering]: I wish he would make up his stupid mind!

[''Scratch turns the key with his right hand, and the engine starts up. The car alarm sounds, and Scratch squawks as he plugs his ears with his index fingers. The hood of the limo opens, and fireworks fire from it. They launch into the air, and form an S.U.S.. Sonic and Tails have covered their ears with their hands, then Sonic looks up and points with his left index finger.'']
 * Sonic: Look, Tails! It's a "Save Us, Sonic!" distress call! Speed time, keed!
 * Tails: Gotcha!

[''Sonic jumps and spins away. Tails flies behind him. Back at the barrier, Grounder is now in the limo with Scratch.'']
 * Scratch: Do something about that alarm! It's driving me crazy!

[Scratch plugs his ears with his index fingers.]
 * Grounder: Okay!

[''Grounder presses a button on the control panel with his right drill. The car alarm becomes louder.'']
 * Scratch: No! Not louder!

[Grounder turns his head to his right side.]
 * Grounder: Look! here comes the Hedgehog!

[''Grounder points at Sonic with his right drill. Scratch turns to face Grounder.'']
 * Scratch: What?
 * Grounder: What?

[Scratch stares in shock.]
 * Scratch: Let's get out of here!
 * Grounder: What do you think? Should we get out of here?

[''As Grounder talks to Scratch, Scratch starts up the limo and drives it away, creating a cloud of dust. As the dust clears, Sonic stops near Weasely.'']
 * Sonic: Who tied you up, Wes Weasely?
 * Weasely: Robotnik's badniks.

[Tails flies up to Sonic.]
 * Weasely: They stole my new limo!

[Sonic holds up his left index finger.]
 * Sonic: Tails, you untie Wes Weasely! I'm going after em'!

[''Sonic runs away. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Tails lands behind Weasely.'']
 * Tails: Are you okay, Weasely?

[Weasely stands up, and Tails unties the rope with both his hands.]
 * Weasely: Sure am, Pallsey! You can always count on that Sonic! Whenever there's trouble, he shows up fast!

[Weasely dusts himself off with both his hands.]
 * Tails: Yeah, he's a real hero!
 * Weasely: I was just saying that to myself! He's everybody's hero! Bout' time we did something for him!
 * Tails: You were saying that?
 * Weasely: Yeah. We've had our differences, but not after today!

[As Weasely talks to Tails, he puts his left hand behind his back and points at him with his right index finger.]
 * Weasely: Listen, can you keep a secret, Pallsey?
 * Tails: What kind of secret?
 * Weasely: I want you to invite all of Sonic's best friends to a surprise testimonial dinner aboard my new yacht!

[Weasely picks up his cigar with his left hand.]
 * Tails: What's the catch?

[Weasely puts the cigar back in his mouth.]
 * Tails: How much will it cost him?
 * Weasely: Pallsey, you're talking to the new Wes Weasely!

[Weasely points at himself with his right thumb.]
 * Weasely: I hit it rich! The whole bash'll be on me! Sonic deserves it!
 * Tails: He sure does!

[Weasely picks up his cigar with his left hand.]
 * Weasely: Knew I could count on you, pallsey!

[''Weasely puts his cigar back in his mouth. He then reaches into his bathing suit with his right hand and pulls out a wad of money.'']
 * Weasely: Now, here's some dough for travel money for his pals!

[As Weasely talks to Tails, he flips through the money with the fingers on his left hand, then uses the same hand to hand the money to Tails.]
 * Weasely: You get em' together, while I make the dinner arrangements!

[Tails grabs the money with both his hands.]
 * Tails: Golly, you're serious!

[Weasely holds up his right index finger as he pushes Tails away with his left hand.]
 * Weasely: I want Sonic to know how much I care!
 * Tails: I'll get his friends together!

[Weasely holds his right hand up to his mouth.]
 * Tails: Remember, not one word to Sonic! We want to surprise him!

[''Meanwhile, Scratch and Grounder continue driving the limo, which Sonic continues to chase after, and its alarm is no longer blaring. Scratch and Grounder are no longer wearing their ski masks.'']
 * Grounder: The hedgehog's gainin'!
 * Scratch: Can you see the hedgehog?
 * Grounder: I can't hear you!

[Grounder turns his head to his right side.]
 * Scratch: Sonic's too near?

[Grounder turns his head to face Scratch.]
 * Grounder: I said I can't hear!

[Grounder turns his head back to his right side.]
 * Scratch: I guess if Sonic's too near, we'd better abandon limo!

[''Scratch presses a button on the limo's control panel with his right index finger. The seats he and Grounder are in launch into the air through jet boosters below them. The jet boosters eventually stop, and a parachute deploys from Scratch's seat. A parachute then deploys from Grounder's seat, and the two seats float slowly down.'']
 * Scratch: Now, I'll put the limo on Automatic Chase Mode,

[Scratch reaches behind his back with his left hand and pulls out a remote control.]
 * Scratch: And it'll keep that hedgehog busy for the rest of the day! Bwahaha!

[''Scratch pushes the lever on the remote with his right hand, and a laser zaps from it. The laser makes the limo drive by itself even faster. The screen transitions to a view outside Robotnik's fortress as the camera zooms in on it.'']
 * Dr. Robotnik: Can this be true? Can these very words actually be flowing from my smiling lips? I can't believe it!

[The camera cuts to a view inside Robotnik's fortress as the camera zooms in on Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder.]
 * Robotnik: My sterling Scratch! My gorgeous Grounder! Congratulations!

[Robotnik pats Scratch and Grounder on their heads with his respective left and right hands.]
 * Robotnik: Everything went perfectly!
 * Grounder [whispering to Scratch]: Eh, nothing's ever gone perfect before! What do we do now?
 * Scratch [whispering to Grounder]: How should I know?

[Robotnik rubs his hands in delight.]
 * Robotnik: And best of all, you're both being so modest!

[Scratch covers his beak with both his hands, and Grounder hides both his drills behind his back.]
 * Grounder: Aw, gee! Thanks, Dr. Robotnik!
 * Scratch: It was nothin', really!
 * Robotnik: Nothing? It was everything! The beginning of the end of Sonic the Hedgehog!
 * Weasely: Hold it, pallsey!

[Wes Weasely, still in his bathing suit, walks in and holds up his left index finger.]
 * Weasely: Aren't you forgetting the real hero of this little con?

[Weasely points to himself with his right thumb.]
 * Weasely: Me, yours truly! The one, the only, Wes Weasely!

[''Weasely takes his cigar out of his mouth with his right hand. Robotnik runs up to Weasely and pats his head with his left hand.'']
 * Robotnik: Oh, I could never forget you, my dear and respected friend!

[Weasely puts his cigar back in his mouth, and holds up his right index finger.]
 * Weasely: And you better not forget our deal!
 * Robotnik: It's right here in black and white!

[The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view, revealing Robotnik to be holding a contract in both his hands.]
 * Robotnik: You help me catch Sonic with this testimonial dinner scheme, and I will provide you with your very own shopping channel!

[Weasely takes the contract from Robotnik with both his hands.]
 * Weasely: You guarantee no competition, and I get all the dough?
 * Robotnik: Every mobium!

[Weasely turns to face Robotnik, then pulls up the contract with his right hand.]
 * Weasely: Yeah, I got a contract.

[Weasely puts the contract in his bathing suit with both his hands.]
 * Weasely: So let's start hopin' that two-tailed little fox brat does what I told him!

[''Weasely holds up his right index finger. An exclamation point is used as a transition to the next scene, where Tails is standing next to Robotnik Jr. and Breezie outside their house.'']
 * Breezie: A dinner? Honoring Sonic?
 * Tails: That's right, Breezie!

[Breezie bends down to face Junior.]
 * Breezie: Robotnik Jr. and I will be there for sure!

[A heart is used as a transition to the next scene, where Tails is outside Sergeant Doberman's house, flying next to Sergeant Doberman.]
 * Tails: Can you come, Sgt. Doberman?
 * Sgt. Doberman: Affirmative!

[Sgt. Doberman pokes Tails in the stomach with his right index finger.]
 * Sgt. Doberman: You're getting a little soft, little guy! Now get down there and give me fifty!

[''Sgt. Doberman points to the ground with his right index finger, and Tails flies down. Tails does some push-ups as Sgt. Doberman counts.'']
 * Sgt. Doberman: One, two! One, two! One, two! One, two!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Tails is in Professor Von Schlemmer's Lab as Von Schlemmer is pulling a lever back and forth with his left hand.]
 * Tails: It's a tribute to Sonic, Professor Von Schlemmer! Can you come?
 * Professor Von Schlemmer: Of course! Professor Von Schlemmer is a brilliant scientist! He deserves a tribute, and I've always wanted to meet him!

[Tails points at Von Schlemmer with his left index finger.]
 * Tails: You're Professor Von Schlemmer! Remember?
 * Von Schlemmer: I am? That's wonderful! Ha ha ha! Then I can be the one to introduce me to him! When's the tribute again?

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Tails is at Big Griz and Mad Mike's repair shop, standing next to Big Griz and Mad Mike.]
 * Mad Mike: Sure we'll be there! And if anybody refuses to come, just tell em' Mad Mike and Big Griz will drag em' there personally! Cause we're...

[Big Griz puts his right arm on Mad Mike's shoulder.]
 * Big Griz and Mad Mike: Da Bearz!

[The screen transitions to a view of Tails in the desert, talking to Robot the Robot.]
 * Tails: That's right, Robot! The dinner's tonight! Can you make it?

[Robot beeps excitedly as he jumps into the air and sparks emit from his antennae.]
 * Tails: Great! I'll see you there!

[''Tails flies away. The screen transitions to a view of Weasely's yact in port that night, then to a view inside the Yacht.'']
 * Sonic's Friends: Surprise! Yay, Sonic!

[Sonic's friends cheer, and Sonic points at Tails with his right index finger.]
 * Sonic: What's goin' on, little bro?
 * Tails: People love you, Sonic, and they're here to prove it!

[The camera moves past the tables, revealing Mad Mike, Bert Whoo and Roxyy from "Untouchable Sonic", Miss Possum from "Magnificent Sonic", Sketch Lampoon from "Sonic Breakout", MacHopper from the episode of the same name, Big Griz, and Professor Caninestein, the last of whom is waving his arms.]
 * Weasely: Sonic the Hedgehog! How are ya, how are ya, pallsey?

[''Weasely, who is now dressed in his salesman attire, runs up to Sonic and grabs his left wrist with his right hand. He pulls him away, then sits down next to Breezie, and seats Sonic next to him.'']
 * Weasely: We're here to honor you as Hero of the Year!

[Weasely runs away, and Tails walks up to Sonic, who turns his head to face him and points behind him with his right thumb.]
 * Sonic: Wes Weasely's involved? I don't like this, kiddo!
 * Tails: You saved his life! He wants to thank you! Lay back and enjoy!
 * Weasely: Fellow Mobians, this is a great occasion!

[As Weasely talks, the camera moves from Mad Mike to Big Griz.]
 * Weasely: I have invited you all here tonight because you are all Sonic's dearest friends.

[Sonic walks up to Weasely and holds up his right index finger.]
 * Sonic: May I say something?
 * Weasely: Not yet, pallsey!

[''Weasely pushes Sonic away with his left hand. Sonic lands in an empty chair.'']
 * Weasely: This is our night to say things to you! It gives me great honor to introduce our first speaker, Miss Breezie Hedgebot Robotnik!"

[''Weasely puts his right hand on Breezie's back, and Sonic's friends applaud. Breeize stands up.'']
 * Breezie: Sonic, sweetie,

[As Breezie talks, the curtain behind her rolls up, revealing Sonic's image behind it.]
 * Breezie: Do you remember how you saved my life?

[''The lights go out. The camera zooms in on Sonic's image as a film rolls. A clip from "Lovesick Sonic" is shown, where Breezie is near an unconcious Sonic.'']
 * Breezie: You all right? Speak to me!

[''Scratch picks up the remote with his left hand and presses a button on it with the same hand. The remote activates a trap, and Sonic suddenly awakens.'']
 * Sonic: Wuh-oh!

[''Sonic grabs Breezie and runs off with her just in time, as the giant smasher smashes the ground, forming huge cracks in it. One of which, Scratch is standing above. He looks down, then jumps up and screams as he stares in shock. In the next scene, he is carrying Grounder in his arms.'']
 * Grounder: Save me!

[''The crack expands and Scratch and Grounder scream as they fall in the hole, ending up in pieces. Meanwhile, Sonic stops at a hill.'']
 * Breezie: You saved my life!
 * Sonic: You saved mine!

[As the clip ends, Sonic's friends cheer.]
 * Breezie: Not only did you save my life, but then you made sure I found my true love, my own Robotnik Jr.!

[''Breezie turns to face Junior and waves her right hand at him. Junior walks up to Breezie.'']
 * Junior: And, even though Dr. Robotnik made me to carry on his evil ways,

[Junior points at Sonic with his left index finger.]
 * Junior: You made sure I knew the difference between right and wrong!

[''The lights go out, and the camera zooms in on the projection screen as a film rolls. A clip from "Robotnik, Jr." is shown, where Junior shakes Sonic's right hand with both his hands.'']
 * Robotnik: Junior, where are you?

[''Sonic, Tails, and Junior stare in shock at Robotnik, who is standing in front of the wall of his destroyed fortress, which Scratch and Grounder are behind. Robotnik shakes his right fist in anger.'']
 * Robotnik: Get in here, young man, and start doing what I tell you to before I disown you!
 * Junior: Big whoop! I'm disowning you! From now on, I'm on Sonic's side!

[Junior puts his right arm over Sonic's back.]
 * Sonic: Way to go, Junior! Way to go!

[''As the clip ends, Sonic's friends cheer. The camera zooms out on the projection screen, and Weasely stands up.'']
 * Weasely: And now, Sonic, Pallsey, here's a word from your friend and mine, Sgt. Doberman!

[''Weasely points at Sgt. Doberman with his left index finger. St. Doberman appears in an iris.'']
 * Sgt. Doberman: Ahem. Listen up, Sonic!

[Sgt. Doberman holds up his left index finger.]
 * Sgt. Doberman: I wouldn't be here tonight, if you hadn't saved me from the Boss Scorpion!

[''The lights go out, and the camera zooms in on the projection screen as a film rolls. A clip from "Attack on Pinball Fortress" is shown, as Robotnik's image appears in Boss Scorpion's eyes. Boss Scorpion pinches its claws.'']
 * Robotnik: If you're quite done...

[''Boss Scorpion spins its tail, and Robotnik pulls the levers back and forth. Sonic, Weasely, and Sgt. Doberman all stare blankly, then Sonic runs towards Boss Scorpion as it pinches its claws, then fires a laser from its tail. Sonic dodges the laser, then as Boss Scorpion fires another laser, Sonic runs around it, causing the ground around it to crack apart. Robotnik watches from the monitor in his lair as Boss Scorpion sinks into the lava.'']
 * Robotnik: What? No!

[''Boss Scorpion tries to swim its way out of the lava with its left arm, but to no avail. The clip ends, and Sgt. Doberman points at Sonic with his left index finger.'']
 * Sgt. Doberman: Sonic the Hedgehog, I salute you!

[Sgt. Doberman solutes Sonic with his left hand, and Sonic's friends cheer.]
 * Weasely: Quiet, pallseys! Quiet, please!

[Sonic's friends stop cheering.]
 * Weasely: It's time for a word from the younger generation. Here's Robot the Robot!

[''Weasely points at Robot with his left index finger. Robot beeps excitedly as he rolls up to the table, then jumps onto it. He beeps excitedly, then the lights go out, and the camera zooms in on the projection screen as a film rolls. A clip from "The Robots' Robot" is shown of Robot falling off a cliff and beeping in panic. Scratch and Grounder watch from atop the cliff.'']
 * Grounder: Schnookums!

[Grounder gasps.]
 * Grounder: Oh, no!

[As Robot continues falling, Sonic runs down the cliff, until he reaches the bottom.]
 * Sonic: What we need here is a little soft water!

[''Sonic spins into the ground, then jumps out. A geyser bursts out of the ground, and Robot lands in it. The geyser launches Robot into the air, and he lands safely at the top of the cliff. The clip ends, and the screen transitions to a view of Robot beeping tears of joy near Breezie, Weasely, Sonic, and Tails. He wipes his eyes with his left claw, and a tear rolls down Weasely's left eye.'']
 * Weasely: Oh, tell me the truth, Pallseys!

[Weasely wipes his eyes with a hankerchief he is holding in his right hand.]
 * Weasely: Have you ever heard a more moving tribute?

[''Weasely holds out his left hand. The camera moves from Mad Mike to Sketch Lampoon, and everyone has tears rolling down their eyes.'']
 * Weasely: It's gonna be a long evening, folks! I know every one of Sonic's friends is gonna want to say something about our great hero!

[''Weasely wipes his eyes with the hankerchief he is holding in his right hand, then holds out his left hand again. Robotnik appears on the projection screen.'']
 * Robotnik: I've got something to say!

[''Sonic and Tails stare in shock. Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all walk onto the stage.'']
 * Robotnik: I hate that hedgehog!

[Robotnik points at Sonic with his left index finger, and a cage falls down over Sonic's friends.]
 * Robotnik: Sonic, the game is up!

[Robotnik points at Sonic with his right index finger.]
 * Robotnik: If you don't surrender instantly, I'll sink this ship and all of your friends will go down with it!

[''Weasely, Breezie, and Junior all stare in shock. Sonic walks up to Robotnik.'']
 * Sonic: It's your show, Eggbelly! I give up!

[''The screen transitions to the next scene, where Robotnik and Weasely are standing next to a winch Scratch and Grounder are turning. Robotnik is holding a megaphone in his left hand.'']
 * Robotnik: Not even you can escape from this jail cell, Hedgehog!

[The jail cell gets lowered into the water, and Sonic looks out one of the windows.]
 * Robotnik: You'll be trapped at the bottom of the ocean!

[Inside the jail cell, Sonic turns to face a loudspeaker.]
 * Robotnik: Under a thousand feet of water! If anyone comes within 100 yards of you, your oxygen will automatically cut off! Never again will you interfere with my plans of conquest! Mobius is mine!

[Robotnik turns to face Scratch and Grounder, then points down with his right index finger.]
 * Robotnik: Drop him to the bottom!

[''Scratch and Grounder lower Sonic's jail cell into the water. Bubbles rise from the surface, and the screen fades to black. In the next scene, as Scratch and Grounder continue to lower Sonic's jail cell, Robotnik turns to face them, and points down with his left index finger.'']
 * Robotnik: Send that hedgehog to the bottom! Faster! Faster!
 * Scratch: You got it, your blubberness!
 * Grounder: Faster! Faster!

[Scratch and Grounder turn the winch faster.]
 * Scratch: Slower! Slower!

[''As Grounder turns the winch even faster, Scratch squawks. Sonic's jail cell is lowered until it reaches the bottom of the sea. Sonic grunts when he hits the bottom, then picks himself back up.'']
 * Sonic: Looks bad, but at least I saved all my friends!

[On the yacht, Robotnik speaks into the megaphone he is holding in his left hand.]
 * Robotnik: One more thing, hedgehog, about your friends;

[Sonic turns to face the loudspeaker.]
 * Robotnik: Just in case one of them might be tempted to rescue you, I'm keeping them in those cages, and sinking the yacht!
 * Sonic: No!
 * Robotnik: I know I lied, I know it's despicable and cruel,

[On the yacht, Robotnik drops the megaphone in his left hand and strokes his mustache with the fingers from the same hand.]
 * Robotnik: But despicableness and cruelty are my favorite hobbies!

[''Robotnik laughs evilly. He turns to face Weasely, who is standing near a lifeboat.'']
 * Weasely: Well, if you don't need me anymore, Pallsey, I'll be leaving. Thanks to you, I've got a shopping channel to run.

[Weasely climbs into the lifeboat.]
 * Robotnik: You're excused, Mr. Weasely.

[''The lifeboat lowers into the water, and Weasely rows away. The screen transitions to the next scdne, where Scratch and Grounder are standing near a drain plug.'']
 * Scratch: It's gonna be real fun watching this old tub sink to the bottom! Bwahaha!

[''Grounder turns his head to face Scratch and nods it, "Yes", then pulls out the plug with his right hand. Water emits from the hole in the yacht. Robotnik growls, and Scratch and Grounder gasp and turn to face him.'']
 * Scratch and Grounder: Huh?
 * Robotnik: We don't have time for such trivial pleasures!
 * Scratch: We don't?
 * Robotnik: No! We got to get to my testimonial dinner!

[As water fills up the floor, Scratch points at Robotnik with his right index finger.]
 * Robotnik: Of course! It's not that I'm jealous, you understand, but,

[Robotnik walks up to Scratch and Grounder, wrapping the former in his left arm, and the later in his right, squeezing them to the point of nuts and bolts flying out them.]
 * Robotnik: I deserve one a lot more than Sonic the Hedgehog ever did!
 * Scratch: Oh, yes, Right! Oh! Roger-Dodger!
 * Grounder: Oh, yes! Right, sure! Okay, heh heh!

[Scratch turns his head to face Robotnik.]
 * Scratch: By the way, your repulsiveness, who's giving this dinner?
 * Robotnik: I am, and I just know all my friends will be delighted to come!

[The screen transitions to a view outside Robotnik's fortress, and a fanfare plays.]
 * Scratch: Ahem! Fellow Mobians! This is indeex, a great occasion!

[The screen transitions to a view inside Robotnik's fortress, and the camera moves down to Scratch, who is dressed in a top hat and a purple tuxedo.]
 * Scratch: I have invited you here tonight, because you are Dr. Robotnik's closest and dearest friends! All of you!

[The camera moves past the tables, revealing all of them to be empty, except for the last one, which has Robotnik and Grounder, both of whom are dressed in top hats and purple tuxedos.]
 * Scratch: We are here tonight to honor Dr. Ivo Robotnik as Villain of the Year!

[''The curtains behind Scratch open, revealing a projection screen. Robotnik's image appears on the screen. Robotnik applauds, then raises his right fist!'']
 * Robotnik: Robotnik! Robotnik! Yeah yeah yeah!

[''Robotnik blows a whistle with the fingers in his right hand, then turns into a steam whistle. When he turns back to normal, he smashes the table with his right fist. Grounder gasps, then Robotnik kicks him with his left foot.'']
 * Grounder: Whoa!
 * Robotnik:Robotnik! Robotnik! Rah rah rah!

[The camera zooms out, revealing all the tables to be empty.]
 * Robotnik: It gives me great honor to introduce our first, and only distinguised speaker,

[Grounder rolls in, holding a piece of paper in both his hands.]
 * Scratch: Mr. Grounder Robot!
 * Grounder: Ahem! Oh, thank you, Mr. Scratch, thank you. Hello. Can I talk now? Okay. Uh, Dr. Robotnik, do you remember how Mobius used to be a peaceful and happy planet?

[''Robotnik grins evilly. A clip from "Lovesick Sonic" is shown of a village. In the village, three kids are playing with a jump rope and an elderly lady is knitting in a rocking chair. An elderly man passes by her and she waves to him. The clip ends, and Grounder rolls in and holds up his right index finger.'']
 * Grounder: And then you came along to make everything really rotten!

[A clip from "Sonic's Song" is shown as the Music Destroyer takes a Penguin's violin with his left hand and tosses it into the hull of the garbage truck Scratch and Grounder are driving behind him.]
 * Grounder: Remember when you sent the Music Destroyer Robot to stop all of the planet's music?
 * Music Destroyer: Destroy your music!

[''M.D. then runs into a music store, which even has a sign that says, MUSIC, and walks out, carrying various musical instruments. Scratch and Grounder pull their garbage truck up to him, and he puts the musical instruments in the garbage truck's scoop.'']
 * M.D.: Music is against the law of Robotnik! No more music!

[''Scratch and Grounder's garbage truck dumps the musical instruments into its hull. The clip ends, and Robotnik grins evilly.'']
 * Grounder: And how bout' the time when you strip mined half the countryside?

[''A clip from "Subterranean Sonic" is shown, where the scoop of Scratch's Chickdozer One scoops up the ground. The clip ends, and Robotnik grins evilly. An image of Robotnik wearing a purple bikini and lying on his left side is shown on the screen.'']
 * Robotnik: Hooray! Yay! Hooray for me!

[Robotnik pounds both his fists on the table.]
 * Robotnik: I just wish all of Sonic's miserable friends on the yacht could be here! But they're too busy suffering!

[''A close-up of Robotnik's mouth is shown as he laughs evilly. The screen transitions to the next scene, where the yacht continues to sink.'']
 * Sonic's Friends: Help! Sonic! Save us! Help us!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Grounder is holding the piece of paper in his left hand as he points to the screen with his right.]
 * Grounder: Remember when you terrorized Mobius with Big Daddy Ape?

[A clip from "Big Daddy" is shown, where Robotnik is holding a remote control in his left hand.]
 * Robotnik: Smash that bridge!

[''Robotnik presses the button on his remote with his right index finger again. Big Daddy walks toward a rope bridge and pulls it out by one end. He then tosses the bridge aside.'']
 * Robotnik: Break that dam!

[''Robotnik presses the button on his remote with his right index finger again. Big Daddy walks towards a dam and smashes it with his right hand three times, causing water to flow from it. The clip ends, and Robotnik, who is holding a noisemaker in his right hand, stands atop the table Scratch is sitting at. He blows into the noisemaker, and tosses it aside.'']
 * Robotnik: I'm such a genius at maliciousness! No wonder I deserve this award!
 * Scratch: And it's no wonder we couldn't find him any friends!

[''Grounder is now holding the piece of paper in his right hand. He points at Robotnik with his left index finger.'']
 * Grounder: Remember when you destroyed Mobius' national park?

[''A clip from "Momma Robotnik's Birthday" is shown. In the clip, three Tree-Killer robots; one with a green tank and green number 1, one with a blank tank and a black letter W, and one with an orange tank and an orange number 2, spray green clouds at trees, causing them to lose their leaves and have their branches fall down. The clip ends, and Robotnik applauds. He then turns to face Scratch.'']
 * Robotnik: You're not applauding!

[Scratch jumps onto the table, squawks, and applauds.]
 * Scratch: Oh, hooray! Uh, yay! Three cheers for Dr. Robotnik!

[As Robotnik talks, Scratch crows.]
 * Robotnik: Hmmm, I could really use more audience to appreciate me. I should have made Wes Weasely come here instead of going to his stupid shopping channel!

[''The screen transitions to the next scene, where Weasely, who is now dressed in his bathing suit and slippers, is in a TV studio. The camera zooms in on him.'']
 * Weasely: Listen to me, Pallseys, this is your last chance!

[Weasely points at a shower clog with his right index finger.]
 * Weasely: If you buy this genuine imitation gold-plated left-foot shower clog for only 99.99 Mobiums,

[The camera moves over to a combination nose hair trimmer/weed eater, which Weasely points at with his left index finger.]
 * Weasely: I'll throw in this handy-dandy combination nose-hair trimmer and weed-eater for free! That's right! For free!

[''Weasely jumps excitedly. He then looks over at a phone, which sprouts a left hand and holds up a sign that says, NARY A RING. Weasely then turns away from it and jumps excitedly again.'']
 * Weasely: Okay, call now, and you get both for free!

[''Weasely runs up to the phone and holds his right hand over it. He then takes the cigar out of his mouth with his left hand as he scratches his head with his right.'']
 * Weasely: I don't get it! That phone should be ringing off the hook! There's millions of Mobians out there just waiting for this junk! Wait a second!

[Weasely picks up a telephone wire with his right hand.]
 * Weasely: This phone isn't hooked up!

[''Weasely runs away. A view of a robot who is also a camera is now shown.'']
 * Camera Robot: Ah, that's okay. Neither is this camera.

[''The camera robot picks up the wire leading to him with his right hand and points at it with his left index finger. Weasely stares in shock.'']
 * Weasely: What?!

[The Camera Robot points at Weasely with his right index finger.]
 * Camera Robot: Dr. Robotnik said you could have a shopping channel, but you weren't allowed to broadcast!

[Weasely jumps in fury, then reaches into his bathing suit with his left hand and pulls out his contract.]
 * Weasely: But I got a contract!

[Weasely looks over the contract, then stares in shock and screams.]
 * Camera Robot: It was written in disappearing ink.

[''The contract falls to the floor. Weasely jumps on the contract angrily.'']
 * Weasely: I'll show that Robotnik! I'll show him!

[''The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place under the sea. An orange fish in a bowler hat swims past Sonic's jail cell, and a submarine floats towards it. Inside the submarine, Weasely is revealed to be pedaling it with his feet.'']
 * Weasely: Good thing I used to be in the used submarine racket!

[The submarine hits the rope to Sonic's jail cell, causing it to rumble.]
 * Sonic: Whoa!

[''Sonic turns to face the porthole and stares angrily at it. Wes Weasely pops his head out through it.'']
 * Weasely: Sonic, pallsey! I made a little mistake.
 * Sonic: Don't tell me you're switching sides again!
 * Weasely: Yeah, this time for good! Now, get up there and save that sinking ship!

[''Sonic runs out of the jail cell and up to the surface. He creates a trail of bubbles, which explode, and the explosion is used as a transition to the next scene, where the moon watches as the yacht has now sunk completely as Sonic's friends continue screaming for help. Tails, Breezie, Junior, Sgt. Doberman, Professor Caninestein, Big Griz, and Mad Mike are revealed to be locked in a cage.'']
 * Breezie: Without Sonic to help us, it's hopeless!

[The camera moves over to Tails.]
 * Tails: I can't believe it! Robotnik may have finally won!

[''Sonic runs into the hole at the bottom of the ship, and grunts as he pulls the drain plug he is holding in both his hands through the drain, plugging it back up. He then jumps out of the water and onto the cage.'']
 * Sonic: Hi, guys!
 * Tails: Sonic! All right!
 * Breezie: Where'd you come from?
 * Sonic: We can talk later. Right now, I need something to bail with!

[Tails gasps, then holds up his right index finger.]
 * Tails: Just a sec!

[''Tails dives into the water, splashing Breezie and Big Griz. He then reaches out of the cage, holding a trophy with Sonic's image on it in his right hand.'']
 * Tails: Here! It's your Hero of the Year award! We were gonna give it to you after the dinner!

[Sonic grabs the trophy with both his hands and picks it up.]
 * Sonic: Great! Okay, guys! Hang on tight!

[''Sonic runs away, leaving the trophy spinning in midair. He then reaches from offscreen with his right hand and grabs the trophy. He spins and scoops the water in the trophy, then dumps it out the porthole. He does so again, then several views of water being dumped out of the porthole are shown until the yacht resurfaces. Sonic's friends cheer, and Sonic spins through the bars of the cage. They fall over, and Sonic's friends all run out, cheering. Tails runs up to Sonic and hugs him.'']
 * Sonic: Okay, little buddy! Get this boat back to shore! I'll catch you later!

[''Sonic runs away, and into the air. A view outside Robotnik's fortress is now shown as the camera zooms in on it.'']
 * Grounder: And now, Dr. Robotnik,

[Inside Robotnik's fortress, Grounder is standing near the podium as an image of Robotnik wearing a banner that says, GOLDEN GLOVES 1948 is shown onscreen.]
 * Grounder: We are about to watch the greatest moment in your evil career!
 * Robotnik: I'm so impressive! I can hardly wait to see this!

[''A clip from "The Robotnik Express" is shown. In the clip, Grounder is holding his phone in his left hand.]''
 * Grounder: Me? Uh, Hi, Dr. Robotnik! Yeah, it was all Sonic's fault, your sir wonderful badness, because, uh..
 * Robotnik [heard over the phone]: Just get to the point!
 * Grounder: We can't stop the train!

[The Robotnik Express drives straight into Robotnik's Emporium of Devastation, Destruction, and Demolition. Scratch and Grounder scream as the train crashes, causing bombs to fly into the air, and the bombs onboard the box cars to explode. The explosion causes the Engine to land on the missile, launching it into the air. Robotnik screams and stares in shock as the missile heads straight towards him. Outside the building, the bombs continue destroying the building as the Missile, now with Robotnik onboard, flies into the air. Scratch is now holding onto the cab with both his hands for his life, and Grounder is holding onto Scratch's legs with both his arms for his life. They scream as the missile flies into the air. Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder watch as the clip ends, and static appears onscreen.]
 * Robotnik: Who put that tape on there?

[''Sonic's image appears onscreen and blows a raspberry at Robotnik. Sonic then runs up to Robotnik.'']
 * Sonic: Three guesses, Eggbelly!

[Weasely peeks out from behind a pillar and points his right index finger at Robotnik.]
 * Weasely: And the first two will cost you!

[Robotnik points at Sonic with his left index finger.]
 * Robotnik: How did you get out?

[Sonic points at Robotnik with his left index finger.]
 * Sonic: Go ahead, Robuttnik! It's your party, cry if you want to!
 * Robotnik: You had no right to spoil my dinner by running that tape!
 * Sonic: We've just begun spoiling! It was so great seeing you guys caught on the front of that train, we're gonna see it again!

[''Weasely nods his head, "Yes" in approval. Sonic then points at him with his right index finger.'']
 * Sonic: Wes, you ready?

[Weasely picks up a remote control with his right hand.]
 * Weasely: Ready, pallsey! Good thing I used to be in the used train racket.

[''Weasely presses the button on the remote control with his right index finger. Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all watch with frowns on their faces as a steam engine pulling many coaches and ballast wagons breaks through the wall and rolls towards them. They run away from it, and scream as it pushes them away. Sonic waves at the train with a yellow hankerchief he is holding in his right hand.'']
 * Robotnik: I hate that hedgehog!

[''The train crashes into the wall and explodes, creating a cloud of red dust. When the dust clears, the train rolls away. The screen transitions to the next scene, where back on the yacht, Sonic's friends applaud. A clip of the train rolling away is shown on the screen, and Weasely, who is now dressed in his salesman attire, leans against one of the chairs.'']
 * Weasely: I love that hedgehog!

[A view of Sketch Lampoon, Spelunk from "Subterranean Sonic", Mad Mike, Rocket the Sloth from "Slowwww Going", Ms. Possum, and Sgt. Doberman is now shown.]
 * Sonic's Friends: We love that hedgehog!

[''The camera moves over to Sonic as his friends cheer and applaud. Sonic takes a bow, then holds up his right thumb. The screen irises out on him, but before it can close completely, Weasely pushes it open with both his hands and pokes his head through it.'']
 * Weasely: If you'd like souvenir pictures of the evening, just check with me. They'll be only 10 Mobiums at the door!
 * Sonic: Weasely!
 * Weasely: See you, pallseys!

[Weasely ducks, and the screen irises out, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says
[Scratch and Grounder are in a field, and the latter is holding a cannister of liquor in his right hand as he guzzles the liquor down.]

Scratch: D'oh, hurry up, Ding-bot! I want to try this booze!

[''Scratch takes the cannister from Grounder with his left hand. As Grounder sighs, Scratch guzzles the liquor down.'']

Grounder [drunkedly]: Whoo-wee! Good stuff!

[Tails walks up to Scratch and Grounder.]

Tails: Don't you bots know liquor is bad for you?

[Scratch mumbles unintelligibly.]

Scratch: Try it, kid!

[Sonic runs up to Scratch and Grounder and takes the cannister from the former with his left hand.]

Sonic: Hold it! Only dumb-bots drink liquor!

[''Scratch and Grounder stare at Sonic, then fall over. Sonic turns to face the viewers.'']

Sonic [to the viewers]: Stay away from liquor, kids! Like all drugs, alcohol is dangerous, and you could get hooked! Just remember!