There's a Sponge in My Soup


 * [The episode begins on a cold, wintry day at the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs is helping Spongebob make preparations for his latest item on the menu, the Krabby Soup.]
 * Mr. Krabs: I got some fresh ingredients for our new Krabby Soup! A half eaten Krabby Patty. [dumps it in the soup] Two moldy pickles. [dumps them in the soup] And some smashed potatoes that look like Squidward. [dumps them in the soup]
 * Spongebob: Mr. Krabs, did you get those ingredients from the trash?
 * Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Of course not! [flashback shows Mr. Krabs grabbing food from the trash] That wouldn't be legal! I intercepted these items on their way to the trash. I want everybody in Bikini Bottom to buy my soup. Yuppies, guppies, puppies...
 * Spongebob: Hippies?
 * Mr. Krabs: Hippies? [growls]
 * Spongebob: Yeah. There's a group of hippies living out back by the hydothermal vent.
 * Mr. Krabs: Hippies? [stretches his eyes in disrelief] On my property?! Why I oughta!
 * [Outside, three hippies, Crystal Dave, Moon Gills, and Sunshine, are warming themselves by the hydrothermal vent in the back of the resturant.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [grabs a spoon and trashcan lid and bangs them] All right, you long hairs, beat it! This here's private property!
 * Moon Gills: We're just keeping warm, dude.
 * Crystal Dave: Yeah, baby, We like to hang near hydrothermal vents. [puts a flower in Mr. Krabs' left eye]
 * Sunshine: We're vent creatures. We get cold real fast. [giggles]
 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I don't care. You're trespassin'. [sees paisleys on the ground] And litterin' Paisleys! [drops a paisley] Ha, ha! Back! Back you! Oh! [falls in the hydrothermal vent]
 * Crystal Dave: Hey, freaky friends, it's warm in here.
 * [The three hippies walk into the kitchen. Mr. Krabs pulls himself out of the hydrothermal vent. His eyes are completely burned.]
 * Mr. Krabs: And keep running, you dead meats!
 * [The hippies climb on the stove.]
 * Sunshine: This seems just as good as a heat vent. [giggles]
 * Crystal Dave: Let's crash this pad.
 * [The three hippies jump into the soup vat. Mr. Krabs is sealing the hydrothermal vent shut outside.]
 * Mr. Krabs: That should discourage those bohemians.
 * [Spongebob goes to drop lettuce, a potato, and an onion in the soup.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hey, hold on there, lad. You might be overdoing the ingredients. [stirs the soup and takes a sip of it] Huh, it's just broth.
 * Spongebob: Huh. That's funny. [pulls up his arm sleeve and dips his arm in the soup] It was loaded with stuff a few minutes ago.
 * Mr. Krabs: Hmm. Well, go ahead and add some more. We got customers waitin'!
 * Spongebob: Aye-aye, Mr. Krabs!
 * [The scene changes to Spongebob peeling a potato and adding it to the soup. Moon Gills pops up and eats the potato. Spongebob sees the potato gone and peels another one. Crystal Dave pops up and eats the potato. Spongebob sees the potato gon again.]
 * Spongebob: Hmm. Guess I brought the disappearing kind of potatoes.
 * [Spongebob cuts up some carrots and adds them to the soup. Sunshine pops up and eats the carrots. Spongebob looks in the soup, grabs a bunch of carrots and dips it in the soup. The hippies in the soup munch on the carrots, leaving nothing but leaves.]
 * Spongebob: Huh? [groans] Oh, hungry soup, eh? Let's see if you'll like onions! [pulls out an onion and drops it in the soup; Spongebob pushes the onion down, but the hippies push it back up] Today's special is Onion Soup a la Spongebob. [the hippies toss the onion at Spongebob] Whoa! [gets angry] All right, listen, Soup, you want me to get tough? [pulls up his pants] All right, I'll get tough! I made you from scratch and I can unscratch you! [stomps real hard on the stool and falls over] Whoa!
 * Squidward: When you're done fighting with the food, we have an order for three soups.
 * [The scene changes to several customers having the Krabby Soup. Shubie goes to eat her soup, but Crystal Dave pops up and eats it in front of her.]
 * Crystal Dave: Make soup, not war.
 * Shubie: Well, I never.
 * [Bubble Bass puts pepper in his soup.]
 * Moon Gills: Ah-achoo! [grabs Bubble Bass' bib and blows his nose in it]
 * [Sunshine pops out of Octavius Rex's soup and gives him a kiss. Debbie Rechit hits Octavius Rex in the head with her spoon.]
 * Debbie Rechid: You obviously love your soup more than you love me!
 * Shubie: Take this soup back!
 * Debbie Rechid: I'm returning my husband's soup, too! [Sunshine blows a raspberry at her; Debbie gasps]
 * Squidward: What's the problem?
 * Debbie Rechid: There are hippies in the soup!
 * [Debbie Rechid and Shubie glare at Squidward and walk off.]
 * Squidward: Ha! Hippies in the soup? Ha! That's a new one. [goes to dump the soup in the trash; but Mr. Krabs pops out from under his shirt]
 * Mr. Krabs: Avast there, ye invertebrate! You're throwin' away me money! [grabs the soups and hides back in Squidward's shirt]
 * Squidward: [confused] Anyone else down there?
 * [Mr. Krabs walks into the kitchen with the soups. Spongebob is looking into the soup vat with his magnifying glass.]
 * Spongebob: Hmm... Mr. Krabs, I think the soup might be haunted.
 * Mr. Krabs: Son, did you forget to pay your brain bill again? [goes to dump the soup in the vat, but to his surprise, the hippies slide into it] Wha-What?
 * [The hippies pop out and stratle Spongebob and Mr. Krabs.]
 * Crystal Dave, Moon Gills, and Sunshine: Hey, Hey, Mr. K! How much money did you make today? [crawl back in the soup]
 * Mr. Krabs: [gets angry] Oh, you HIPPIES!! [his eyes explode; he jumps on the soup vat and speaks through a megaphone] All right, you deadbeats! This is an eviction! You are to leave this soup immediately!
 * Crystal Dave, Moon Gills, and Sunshine; [push out picket signs, push away Mr. Krabs and march around] Heck, no! We won't go!
 * Spongebob, Crystal Dave, Moon Gills, and Sunshine: Heck, no! We won't go! Heck, no! We won't go! Heck, no! We won't go!
 * Mr. Krabs: Spongebob!
 * Spongebob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs, it's just so catchy.
 * Squidward: [chuckles] Why don't you just dump the soup out?
 * Mr. Krabs: And lose all the money I've already put into it? Heck, no! They gotta go!
 * [The scene changes to Mr. Krabs putting something on his fishing line.]
 * Spongebob: Whatcha using for bait?
 * Mr. Krabs: Something hippies love. Long hair.
 * [Mr. Krabs lures the hair into the soup vat. Spongebob begins to talk but Mr. Krabs shushes him. Then he feels a tug.]
 * Mr. Krabs: I got one! [but instead of a hippie, the long hair is all braided; he groans]
 * [The scene changes to Mr. Krabs and Spongebob playing with a footbag.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hippies can't resist playing with this little crochet foot bag.
 * Spongebob: Neither can I!
 * [Moon Gills sticks his head out and becomes mesmerized by the footbag. He goes to get it, but is held back by Crystal Dave.]
 * Crystal Dave: Resist the temptation, dude.
 * [Spongebob kicks the footbag high in the air.]
 * Moon Gills: Aw, but we can't let that little bag hit the ground, man! [Crystal Dave jumps out and kicks the footbag in the soup vat] Cool, man! You saved the sack from gravity like forever.
 * Crystal Dave: [kicks the footbag] Beautiful, man.
 * [The scene changes to Spongebob, Squidward and Mr. Krabs playing drums in a drum circle.]
 * Spongebob: Mr. Krabs, why are we in a drum circle?
 * Mr. Krabs: It's something that all hippies are required to paricipate in.
 * [The hippies in the soup vat hear the drumming music.]
 * Sunshine: Hey, dig that beat!
 * Moon Gills: Oh, this is a wild drum circle, dudes!
 * Spongebob: [gets tired] My hands are starting to hurt!
 * Squidward: Couldn't we have gotten softer drums?
 * [The hippies peak through the window.]
 * Spongebob: [his hands crack] Whoa! I'm out! [falls backwards]
 * Squidward: Me too! [his suction cups puff up]
 * Mr. Krabs: Get up, you tender palms! It's working!
 * [The hippies step out the kitchen door. Mr. Krabs plays really hard on the drums until his claws crack into pieces.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [screams] Oh, my claws! [falls back] My claws! I wish we had another drummer.
 * Spongebob: I've got a drummer, Mr. Krabs!
 * [Spongebob takes out a toy monkey with a drum and plays it. The hippies, however, don't like the drumming sound of the toy.]
 * Crystal Dave: Oh, man! Drum machines ain't cool.
 * [The hippies jump back into the soup vat. The scene changes to Spongebob wearing a scuba mask.]
 * Mr. Krabs: It's your job to go into that soup and remove those hippies!
 * [Spongebob dives into the soup vat. He looks around for the hippies and a magic carpet flies under him. A volkswagen drives up and the hippies come out to greet Spongebob and laugh.]
 * Spongebob: [laughs] Hello, I'm Spongebob.
 * Crystal Dave: [whispers] Dude, it's a square.
 * Moon Gills: No, man, it's that crazy cook that's been feeding us.
 * Sunshine: [removes Spongebob scuba gear and gives him a carrot necklace] Have some carrot love beads, Spongebob.
 * Spongebob: [eats a carrot from the necklace] Mmm. [swallows it] Thank you! Oh, Mr. Krabs sent me here to tell you guys you have to leave.
 * Moon Gills: Old man Krabs needs to mellow out.
 * Sunshine: Yeah, he should try meditation.
 * Spongebob: Ooh! Like this? [meditates with sunshine]
 * Moon Gills: Hey, you're far out. [meditates as well while Crystal Dave meditates upside-down]
 * Spongebob: It's cool. Up is down. Down is up. It's all relative. Relative.
 * Moon Gills: Oh, wow, Spongebob, you just blew our minds.
 * [Spongebob becomes mesmerized by the meditation and immendiatly starts to act like a hippy. He is now wearing hippy clothing and starts walking a cool fashion. Suddenly, a ladle comes down and scoops Spongebob out from the soup.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Son, how's the eviction going?
 * Spongebob: Oh, wow, you're beautiful.
 * Mr. Krabs: [gasps] You went too deep! You've gone full flower, child. [drops the ladle] Oh, no!
 * [Spongebob falls on a bean bag chair and notices Patrick dressed as a hippy as well.]
 * Patrick: What's happening, man?
 * Spongebob: Patrick, what are you doing here?
 * Patrick: Just tubing down the river of life, baby. [eats an onion]
 * Spongebob: Does Mr. Krabs know you're in here?
 * Patrick: [holds up a no crabs picket sign] No Krabs. [eats the picket sign and spits out the no sign] Can't stand those things!
 * Spongebob: [groans] Ah, suddenly everything's becoming very confusing! I-I-I know! I'll have a Krabby Patty. That always calms me down.
 * [Spongebob swims up to the surface and pops out of the soup vat. Spongebob sees everything in the kitchen boarded up as if the Krusty Krab has been shut down.]
 * Spongebob: Hello? Anybody here? [turns on the light and sees everything dusty and covered with cobwebs] Whoa! How long was I in that soup? [sees Mr. Krabs dressed as a hippy] Mr. Krabs, is that you?
 * Mr. Krabs: [inhales and wakes up from his meditation] Spongebob, I thought you split the scene, hipster.
 * Spongebob: What happened here?
 * Mr. Krabs: [does some yoga] Well, I had to close down the Krusty Krabs since you weren't around to make the Krabby Patties.
 * Spongebob: Close down the Krusty Krab?
 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I was just being a capitalist tool. But it's all groovy now. I'm a far out hippy. And I'm flyin' my free flag high.
 * [Mr. Krabs free flag is actually his pajamas flying on the pole off the closed down Krusty Krab.]
 * Spongebob: [sniffs] Making Krabby Patties was my number one favorite thing every to do in the whole world!
 * Mr. Krabs: Bummer, right? Let's dance our cares away, man!
 * [Mr. Krabs plays music on the radio and dances along with it. Spongebob joins in but is sad about what has happened to the resturant.]
 * Spongebob: [sniffs] Do you think that maybe we could reopen the Krusty Krab and go back to how things were?
 * Mr. Krabs: [rips off his hippy clothing] I thought you'd never ask!
 * Spongebob: Yeah! But Mr. Krabs, what about our new hippy friends?
 * Mr. Krabs: They say they need to be somewhere warm, right? I have an idea!
 * [The scene changes to the hippies resting in their new place that is warmer than the soup vat.]
 * Moon Gills: You know what? That old man Krabs wasn't such a bad dude after all.
 * [The hippies hear a splashing sound above.]
 * Sunshine: [giggles] Whoa!
 * Crystal Dave: Someone just crashed our new pad.
 * [Their new place turns out to be Squidward's bathtub where Squidward is about to take a nice, hot bath. The hippies pops out.]
 * Moon Gills: Yo, bro, potato?
 * Squidward: Oh, thanks, man. [eats the potato and swallows it; he opens his eyes and screams] Hippies!!!