Teen Drama

1 Previously I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk to the Organization about officially recruiting me. (Cackles) Oh, you're serious. Interesting. You wanna go to college, but the Organization is trying to stop you, sort of like how I want to be a spy, and you're trying to stop me. Marisa, I'm just trying to protect you. Maybe I don't need protecting. Maybe I'm not the dumb weak friend that you seem to think I am. I didn't mean And you don't care about protecting me. It is all about you and what you want. It is always about you, and I am so sick of it, so you know what? I am making a choice. I'm backing off this friendship. Taking a break from you. Hey, stranger. Haven't talked to you all day, except if you count earlier, you know, in the hallway where I said, "Hey, Marisa," and you ignored me and ran away. I didn't know you can run that fast. You should try out for track. Well, is this seat taken? Oh, no. Have a seat. Oh, cool. Over there. On second thought, I will just stand. Mmm. Yummy. Spaghetti. Remember. Remember when we were kids, we used to call it "pasketti"? Aw! Good times. (Clears throat) Okay, Marisa, come on. How long are you gonna be mad at me? KC, what part of "taking a break" do you not understand? I'm not saying I'm never gonna talk to you again, because clearly, I'm talking to you right now, but I'm only talking to you right now to tell you I don't wanna talk to you anymore, so if you could go away so I can stop talking to you. Okay, Marisa, we both know that eventually, we're just gonna hug it out, get fro-yo and be besties again. Can we just skip to the fro-yo part, and get this over with, please? Oh, KC, thank you for explaining it to me, because as you previously mentioned, when I said I wanted to be a spy, that I'm not very bright. But now, thanks to you, I understand everything, and in case you missed it, I'm being sarcastic. Nope. Pretty much nailed that. Well, can I at least sit with you, 'cause I know you hate eating alone. I'm not eating alone. I'm having lunch with my good friend Joe. Uh, I'm not Joe. My name is Brady. Yeah, right. But we're such good friends that I call him Joe. It's a nickname for Brady. Actually, it's a nickname for Joseph. - Yeah, she's right. - (Forced laughter) You're so funny, Joe. Hey, remember when we were kids, and we used to call this "pasketti"? No, 'cause I just met you. Okay, well, I'm starting to sense you won't be forgiving me any time soon, so I will just eat lunch with this guy. Cool. Pull up a chair. On second thought, I'll go to the library. Oh, when danger comes for you You know I'll stand beside you 'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire Don't tell nobody, tell nobody I'm not perfect So many things I wanna tell you But I, I, I, I keep it undercover Livin' my life, on red alert Doin' my thing, gonna make it work Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless But I always got your back Nobody can do it like I can I gotta find out who I am Ain't got to worry about me It's all part of the plan I keep it undercover. I keep it undercover. No. No, no, no. This cannot be happening. Mom! What, are we under attack? Or worse, is Mrs. Goldfeder coming over with family vacation photos? No. Marisa is walking to school with some lanky guy named Brady. I'm supposed to be her only lanky friend. Now I'm completely friendless. Unless she's just doing this to annoy me. If you're telling this story to annoy me, it's working. Judy, can't you see that KC's upset? Honey, look, it's gonna be all right. Marisa's been your best friend since you were three years old. She's a part of your life, and a part of this family. Part of the reason this town has a teen curfew. But Mom, you weren't there, okay? You didn't hear the things she said to me. Honey, these things happen. I used to fight like two cats in a pillowcase with my best friend Josie. You didn't invent teen drama. This is not teen drama. This is the end of my life! I guess she really did save the drama for her mama. Judy, please. I mean, what else was I supposed to do? Go to the Organization and say, "Yeah, my best friend Marisa, who hasn't read a book since Where's Waldo, is completely qualified to be a spy. " Now she'll never talk to me, and I'm gonna die all alone. All right. Calm down. Just go and make it right between the two of you. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to be your new best friend. Yep, and we'll get matching track pants, and spend all our time together. Okay, I'll apologize to Marisa until she forgives me. Can I ask you a question about parenting? Mm-hmm. What's up? Is it hard for you to pretend that you actually care about this stuff? Don't you ever just wanna laugh in her face? You know something, Judy. If you wanna pass as a human being, you might try acting like one. You need to learn empathy, missy. Instead of making your little snide remarks, try actually taking an interest in people. If you want interest, open a savings account at the bank of who cares! Oh. That does sound kinda bad. Oh, whoops a daisy. Dropped my papers. Oh. Hey, Monique. Hi, Ernie. Our model UN team really killed it this week against Madison High, huh? Yeah, in fact, I'm throwing a little celebration for the team at my house tomorrow night. France is coming, Italy's coming, India's coming. - You should come too, Canada. - I'd love to. - I'll wear my traditional Canadian garb. - Which is? - Exactly what I'm wearing. - All right. - What time does the party start. - Whenever you get there. Who the man, who the man Who the man, I'm the man I'm the man Okay. Hey, Marisa, um I just wanted to say that you were 100% right and I was 100% wrong. Wouldn't that make me 200% right? Okay, you're not making this very easy. But look, I hate this, okay? I miss you, and I miss us, and I will do anything to make it up to you. - Wow, you really are sorry. - Yes, I am. And you'll do anything to make it up to me? Well except that. Then we have nothing else to talk about. Fine. Hey, Marisa. Who's that girl again? No one. Just someone I used to be friends with. Let's go. Hey, is this Joanna? Hey, yeah, this is KC. Um, I was just connecting with some old friends to see if you wanted to hang out tonight. KC Cooper. Uh, from Girl Scouts. Tall, dark brown hair. Big feet. Uh, oh, you remember that time I accidentally got gum stuck in your hair, and then your mom had to cut it out, and it left a little bald patch, and we just laughed and laughed and Hello? Hello. Well, there goes both of 'em. Oh, hey, Judy. Will you hang out with me? Sure. Just until I find my headphones. Oh, there they are. Hang's over. Wait, wait, wait. It's just, you know, Marisa's not talking to me, and I don't really have anything else to do tonight. Believe it or not, I don't have that many friends. No, I believe it. Oh ho ho, oh, oui, oui. (Knocking on door) (Clears throat) Hello, Canada. On behalf of Japan, I want to welcome you to my Model UN feast-ival. I made food from every country represented by our team. Impressive. The only thing you don't have is our team. Where is everyone? Oh, yeah, they all canceled at the last minute, except for Switzerland, who never committed in the first place. (Forced laughter) Ah, UN humor. Never gets old, huh? So it's just the two of us? Hey, their loss is our gain. Our weight gain. So what country are tater skins from? The People's Republic of Idaho? (Forced laughter) That's funny. I love you I mean, I love that joke. Hey, what's going on down here? Oh, we're celebrating the success of our Model UN team. Oh, cool. Hey, can I have some? - There's not enough. - Don't be silly, Ernie. There's literally enough for the actual UN. Would you like to join us? Absolutely. Join us. Yeah, everyone else canceled. The more, the merrier. Come on, what do you say? Make sure you say the right thing. You know what? I will join you. And here I was thinking I had nothing to do tonight. Turns out there's a party in my own house. (Laughs) Oh, this looks dope. Where's this from? It's an Estonian cheese from a region known as Buttinsky. Huh. Never heard of it. Really, KC? Because I'm pretty sure you've been there many times. Some might say you're the honorary mayor of Buttinsky. Wait a minute. KC? How did I not put this together? You're the KC Cooper who founded Hamilton High's Model UN group. Guilty. I can't believe I'm here with the KC Cooper. You're, like, a legend. Oh, stop it. Yes, it's true, she's a legend. And like most legends, she doesn't like to talk about her accomplishments. She likes to sit alone in her room, and remember the good old days. Go ahead, KC. Go back to your room. Go remember. Go on. You were just a freshman when your Model UN team got to the New York finals. Yeah. You know, I will never forget giving my keynote address in front of the actual General Assembly. No way! You have to tell us all about it. Does she? Does she really? Ernie, sh! KC's talking. You know, honestly, guys, it's been so long, I barely remember the details. Hey, how about some tacos? But I do believe it went a little something like this. My esteemed colleagues at the United Nations. I believe it was Boutros Boutros-Ghali who once said, "With the rise of our economic globalization, it is more pressing now than ever that we not leave behind the developing nations of the world. " Is she kidding me? No. Boutros Boutros-Ghali really said that. Now sh! Yeah, okay? While you're at it, make me a taco. It's gonna be a long speech. That was the best nap I have ever had. I love algebra class. Wait, this isn't algebra class. Am I in a dream? I hope it's not that one where I'm a fish, and I spend all my time in school. (Distorted voice) Marisa Miller. Yes. We've been watching you. We know what you did to bring down the head of the Other Side. We're very impressed. I'm sorry. Can you say that again? I can barely understand what you're saying, and it sounded like something important, like a compliment. Is this better? (Voice deepens) Is this better? Much. As I was saying, we're impressed with your intelligence, and we'd like you to join the Organization. I'd love to! You're not interested. No, I totally am. Just tell us, and we'll wipe your memory. No, I'm committed. - What? - I said I'm committed. You know what? I'm having trouble hearing you now. I'll just come in. Welcome to the Organization, Marisa. Brady? You are a spy? Yes, I am. What a coincidence that we just, like, randomly met at school. Wait, it wasn't a coincidence, was it? I'm gonna be good at this. After you. Hey. You're already here. Wait, am I late? No, you're right on time. I always arrive early so I can practice saying the hard-to-pronounce menu items. You know, my friend Marisa, she actually once pronounced scissors as "skissors. " (Laughter) Forget about her, 'cause tonight is about new friendships. I really like your jacket. Oh, thanks. Okay, go ahead. - Let the fire storm of mocking begin. - Excuse me? No, it's all right, girl, I can handle it. Um, try something like this. KC, nice shoes. Do they come in girl sizes? It's funny because I got big feet, and you know, guy shoes. I actually think your look is really cool. Oh. Thanks. Did you ever consider dying your hair blonde? - Why would I do that? - No reason. Look, there's KC. I knew she believed in me. I'm gonna go over and thank her for recommending me to be a spy. She never recommended you. Of course she did. Why else would you have invited me to play? You mean recruited you. Right. Still learning the lingo. So wait. KC didn't recommend me? Then why did you recruit me? Marisa, we've been keeping an eye on you. We think that you are really smart, and have the potential to be a great spy. Thank you. I can't wait to rub this in KC's face. Actually, she can't know that you're a spy and that I'm your handler. - Why not? - No idea. The Organization just wants her to think I'm another student at Hamilton. Just following orders. So she really never recommended me? Sorry, no. You know what? Let's get out of here. Hey, it's me. Yeah, Marisa's on board. Doesn't suspect a thing. I can't believe you. I was the one who was interested in Monique and now, all of a sudden, she's your best friend? I went through a lot of trouble Into deceiving her into thinking there was a party here? There was a party. A party of two. Until you came in and hypnotized her with your Boutros Boutros-Ghali talk. You stole her from me. If I could steal her, she probably wasn't yours to begin with. You know what? I've noticed a disturbing pattern with you, KC. First, you don't listen to people. Then you dump on 'em. And finally, you alienate 'em. You did it to me, you did it to Marisa, and then you did it to Monique. Okay, that is not true. Monique and I had a great time last night. - You tried to turn her into Marisa. - I did not. You asked her to dye her hair blonde. As a style choice. I thought it would make her blue eyes pop. Marisa's eyes are blue. Monique's are brown. Uh, not if she wore the contacts I gave her. Okay, I'm being ridiculous. I'm sorry. Okay, I just I miss my best friend, and I know it's no excuse, so I'm sorry, Ernie. Don't apologize to me. I'm your brother. I'm stuck with you. It's Monique you should be apologizing to. While you're at it, put in a good word for me. It's not too late to turn this thing around. Yeah, you're right. I'll apologize to her on Friday when I hang out with her. No, I want to hang out with her on Friday. Sorry, just girls only. Me and Marisa. Her name's Monique. I knew that. Here's the deal, Marisa. You're gonna make up with KC, and you're gonna do it today. - That's right. Today. - Why do you even care? Because she's trying to steal my girl, and it has to stop. Got it? Never gonna happen. So what I'm hearing is, you'll think it over? No, what you're hearing is, never gonna happen. Great. So you'll get back to me in a couple of days with your definitive answer? I am done with KC. I'm never gonna have a girlfriend. Hey. I got your first assignment. Oh, I'm ready. Just name it. You're going to be best friends with KC again. Can't I do something more pleasant, like take a math test or rip up my own fingernails? Marisa we think that KC might be giving intel to the Other Side. Your mission is to regain her trust and get her to talk. Are you sure? KC never does anything wrong. Well, she negotiated with the head of the Other Side - behind our back. - She did. And stole a helicopter. She did. Oh, and she told you that she was a spy, and didn't memory spray you. She did and she didn't. Anyway we don't know for sure if the Other Side has turned her. That's why we need you to make up with her and find out anything you can. Mission accomplished. Wait, I say that when I'm done, right? I'm still learning the lingo. Announcer: Coming up after the break, Lulu introduces her top choices for her Prince Charming to her bestie Cassandra. Will Cassandra approve? Who cares what Cassandra thinks? She may be your friend now, Lulu, but the second you say one wrong thing to her, she'll never talk to you again, and you wind up being alone, yelling at the TV. - So what are we watching? - Hey, Marisa. Marisa! Hey! Hey, you're here. And you're talking to me. Wait, are we making up? - Please tell me we're making up. - We're making up. You're welcome. Marisa, I am so sorry. Honestly, you're my best friend, and I never meant to hurt your feelings. No, it was all my fault. I thought about what you said. Like I was actually gonna ever be in the Organization. I mean, what was I thinking? I don't know the first thing about spying. So let's hang out. Catch up. You know what, I would love to. - (Bracelet chimes) - But it turns out I can't, 'cause I have a last-minute mission in Mexico, so I gotta go pack my gear. Sorry. Oh, well, let me help you, and you can tell me all about it. Really? You'd do that? - What are best friends for? - Thanks. Rob, your name's on TV.