The Solo Oscillation


 * Sheldon: I'm trying to come up with a new approach to dark matter, but people keep distracting me. First, my mother kept answering the phone when I called, even though she knew I was busy. And now you show up with my favorite shape of food-- a circle made of triangles served in a square box.


 * Penny: [knock knock knock] Sheldon? [knock knock knock] Sheldon? [knock knock knock] Sheldon?
 * Sheldon: [opens door] It's annoying when you do it.


 * Leonard: What are you doing?
 * Penny: Making a boat. When I was a kid, my dad showed me how.
 * Leonard: Boy, you'll do anything to avoid reading.


 * Raj: Hey! Look what I got everybody.
 * Leonard: Newspapers? Did you find a portal back to the 1990s?
 * Penny: No. If he had that, he'd be trying to prevent *NSYNC from breaking up.
 * Raj: Oh, please, I'm glad they broke up. Otherwise, Justin would never have brought sexy back.
 * Sheldon: One thing you can't get on an iPad, the smell of ink and paper. One more reason iPads are better.


 * Raj: Hey, uh, what do you think we should open our show with? Uh, "Thor and Dr. Jones" or "Let's Get Astrophysical"?
 * Howard: I think we should start with something that gets them up on their feet. Maybe "Sherlock Around the Clock".


 * Amy: Do you remember any of your high school projects?
 * Penny: Uh... well, I remember telling Jenny Runyon that I would teach her how to flirt with boys if she put my name on her project. I got an "A", she got pregnant.
 * Amy: Girls like you are why I had to come straight home after school.


 * Bert: Hey, you want to hear one of my geology songs?
 * Raj: So it's about rocks?
 * Bert: Better. It's about a boulder.
 * Raj: Isn't that the same thing?
 * Bert: Far from it. A boulder has a diameter greater than 25.6 centimeters.
 * Raj: Is that fact in the song?
 * Bert: No. Yes. It's sung from the viewpoint of the boulder that chases Indiana Jones.


 * Amy: I was gonna ask if being married felt any different.
 * Leonard: Oh. Uh... not really. Sorry. That probably wasn't the answer you were looking for.
 * Amy: No, actually it is. I mean, Sheldon and I are in a really great place right now, and I just... I don't want anything to mess that up.
 * Leonard: Mm-hmm. You do remember you're here because he kicked you out of your apartment?


 * Sheldon: And then I was thinking about inventing a new dark matter particle to evade the omega baryon constraints, but that just seems like something anyone could come up with.
 * Penny: Mm. Agreed. You know what's blowing my mind? Somebody thought about putting cheese in this crust.
 * Sheldon: I just wish I could find something that excites me.
 * Penny: You...you do understand that crust doesn't normally come with cheese in it?


 * Penny: What got you excited about dark matter in the first place?
 * Sheldon: Well, I left string theory, which I'd been working on for a long time, and everyone was talking about how cool dark matter was, and I thought "Well, sure, I'll give that a whirl."
 * Penny: So it's your rebound science?
 * Sheldon: What's that?
 * Penny: Well, not the science you spend the rest of your life with, but the one you use to make yourself feel pretty again.


 * Penny: So it's sort of like a guitar string, but instead of making an actual sound, each vibration is a different particle.
 * Sheldon: Precisely. And when you express it in eleven dimensions, Einstein's relativity equations pop out. Does that sound like a coincidence?
 * Penny: It does not.
 * Sheldon: Yup. That's what I think.
 * Penny: So... so, did we do it? Did we just solve string theory?
 * Sheldon: [chuckling] Oh. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but this is not the sort of thing we can figure out in a night. People have been stuck on this for decades.
 * Penny: What, decades? Really? It's... it's a string. How hard can it be? It-it... it's straight, it's in a loop, it gets knotted up with other strings. Uh...
 * Sheldon: Well, actually, there are no knots in anything greater than four dimensions. Ooh, unless we get around that by considering them as sheets. You know, topologically speaking, that has a lot of interesting possibilities.
 * Penny: See? How long did that take me, like a minute?


 * Leonard: Thought you were getting us dinner.
 * Penny: Sorry. I had to stop at Sheldon's and help him solve string theory.
 * Amy: [befuddled] What?
 * Penny: Yeah, turns out the answer's knots.
 * Leonard: That's cute, but you can't have knots in more than four dimensions.
 * Penny: [heading towards their bedroom] Mm... You can if you consider them sheets. Good night.