Stephanie's Wild Ride

[In the opening teaser:]

Joey: Okay, boys, now tonight, Mr. Woodchuck's gonna help me tell you a story.

Mr. Woodchuck: Is it about... wood?

Joey: No, it's called the "Three Billy Goats Gruff".

Alex: That's our favorite story.

Joey: OK. Once upon a time, there were three...

Mr. Woodchuck: ...woodchucks!

Nicky: No, billy goats.

[Michelle is playing a video game and Nicky & Alex come running in.]

Alex: Can we play?

Michelle: Guys, Montezuma's Quest is a very complicated game. It takes timing, skill, and plenty of brain power.

Video Game: You have failed! Ha ha ha!

Nicky & Alex: You have failed! Ha ha ha!

[Jesse enters the room.]

Michelle: Uncle Jesse, can you help me with this video game?

Jesse: Oh, Michelle, I'm sorry. Video games have never really been my thing. Now, pinball! There's a game.

Michelle: What's pinball?

Jesse: 'What's pinb...'? You don't know what pinball is? Haven't you ever heard of Tommy?

Michelle: Who?

Jesse: Right.

Michelle: Who's right?

Jesse: No. Who's on first.

Michelle: Let me guess: Tommy?

Jesse: No. I'm just kidding ya. It's an old routine.

Michelle: Who?

Kimmy: Hey, you're the losers who drilled the peephole in the girls' locker room.

Jason: You're the reason we plugged it up. [The guys shake hands.]

Kimmy: That hole works both ways, zit butt.

[D.J. comes in, and calls everyone for dinner.]

D.J.: I hate to interrupt this moment of tranquility, but I really don't feel like eating alone at a table set for nine.

Danny: Yeah, D.J.'s right. It might be a good time to take a break from our little quest, noble as it is.

Jesse: Yeah, let's just put the game on pause. [to Becky] Honey! Put the game on pause! We'll come back after we have a nice leisurely dinner.

[Danny, Joey, Jesse, and Becky are eating dinner very quickly, so they can get back to the video game.]

Joey: Done?

Jesse: Game time! [They get up and leave.]

D.J.: Thank you. I'll do the dishes. Don't worry about a thing. Buh-bye. Buh-bye, now.

[Gia invites Stephanie out for another joyride. Stephanie grabs her coat and purse and starts to leave.]

Stephanie: That was almost too easy. [A little too easy.]

D.J.: [as she blocks her sister's exit] Steph... are you sure you wanna do this?

Stephanie: Let me think about it. Thinking... Thinking... I'm outta here!

D.J.: [snatches both items out of her sister's hand as she tries to leave] Steph, you're not going.

Stephanie: What are you talking about?

D.J.: I'm sorry, I can't let you go.

[Car honks.]

Stephanie: Gia, tell the guys to hang. I'll be right out.

Gia: I thought you said your sister was cool.

Stephanie: She used to be. [Gia exits out the door, while Stephanie confronts her sister.] Deej, forget it! There's no way you can make me stay!

D.J.: I'll tell Dad.

Stephanie: Okay, there's one way. I can't believe you'd squeal on me!

D.J.: I can't believe you'd put me in this position!

Stephanie: What about all those times you snuck in after curfew and I never said a word?

D.J.: That's different. This is dangerous!

[Danny, Joey, Jesse, and Becky all fight for the video game controller. After walking over to the game console, Michelle takes out the cartridge – without even hitting the eject button or turning the console off!]

Danny, Jesse, Becky & Joey: Hey!

Michelle: Game over.

Danny: Michelle, why did you do that?

Michelle: I had to stop the madness. Look at you! You were fighting over a silly game. You oughta be ashamed.

Alex: Shame on you!

Nicky: Double shame!

Jesse: The boys are right. I mean, we were completely obsessed over this thing.

Danny: Yeah. Michelle, thank you for snapping us out of it. I don't know, I just kind of got in and I zoned out and I didn't know what was happening. It's like when I empty Joey's hamper.

Joey: You know what? I think we just need to get back to our normal lives around here. I'm gonna go play with Mr. Woodchuck.

Becky: Tell him I said 'hi' [Joey leaves].

Jesse: Thanks, Michelle.

Becky: Thanks, Michelle.

Danny: Yeah, thanks [kisses Michelle].

[Upstairs, Stephanie is studying when D.J. walks in.]

D.J.: Steph, we need to talk about this [joyriding].

Stephanie: There's nothing to talk about. You just hate to see me have fun.

D.J.: Oh yeah, Steph, that's real bright. You know, the first thing on my mind when I wake up is, "How can I make Steph miserable today?"

Stephanie: So you admit it.

D.J.: Oh, you're losing it.

[They end up arguing.]

Stephanie: No Deej, you don't understand. I was having fun and I was--

D.J.: No, you don't understand. You can't just get in a car with somebody you don't know--

[Danny, hearing the commotion, enters the room.]

Danny: Guys. Guys. Guys, guys. Take it easy. Whatever this is about, it can wait, OK? [He and Stephanie sit down on her bed.] Um, Steph, I just got off the phone with Gia's mom. She was in a car accident tonight.

Stephanie: [shocked] No.

Danny: [nods] Yeah.

Stephanie: She OK?

Danny: Well, she got some bumps and some bruises, and she's gonna be in the hospital overnight.

Stephanie: Oh my God.

Danny: She was with two other guys, and one of them broke his leg and got cut up pretty badly. They were really lucky they were wearing their seat belts; the car was totaled.

Stephanie: I could've been in that car.

D.J.: But you weren't.

Stephanie: Thanks to you.

Stephanie: You hitchhiked?! What are you, nuts? That's so dangerous.

D.J.: Well... I know that now, but back then I was young and stupid like you.

Stephanie: So how do you get to be old and smart?

D.J.: Well, after a while you just get this little voice inside that tells you when something's dangerous... and if you're lucky you learn to listen to it.

Stephanie: I think I heard that voice before I got in the car with those guys. ... It sounded a lot like Dad.