I'm Not D.J.

[The doorbell rings.]

Joey: I'll get it. [And at the door, are the two Jennifers.] Hello.

Jennifer S.: Hi, is Stephanie here? I'm Jennifer.

Jennifer P.: And I'm Jennifer, too. Not the number two, but also.

Joey: Well... hi, Jennifer [S.], Jennifer [P.]. Stephanie's in her room room. [He giggles as he closes the door.]

Jennifer S.: Oh, look, Jennifer [P.], what cute little girls.

Jesse: Oh, oh, oh, ah, ah. They're not girls. They are boys. Future men.

Jennifers: [in unison] No way!

Jesse: [mimicking their voices] Yes way!

[Stephanie is playing 'tea party' with Michelle when there is a knock on their door. Stephanie goes to answer it.]

Stephanie: Jennifer [S.]! Jennifer [P.]! What are you doing here?

Jennifer S.: We thought we'd stop by. We were on our way to Jennifer's house. Not this Jennifer [motioning to Jennifer P.], the other one.

Stephanie: Great! Welcome! So, what's going on?

Michelle: Stephanie, we're playing 'tea party'.

Jennifers: 'Tea party'?

Stephanie: She must be running a fever. [She touches her roommate's head.] Ooh! She's burning up. I'll be right back. I have to pack her in ice. [She grabs her roommate by the head and forces her out of the room.]

Michelle: I don't feel sick!

Stephanie: Of course you're not sick! I just need some privacy [a lesson she learned the hard way in "Take My Sister, Please"]! If the Jennifers like me I get to sit at the cafeteria 'power table' [taking a cue from "Back to School Blues"].

Michelle: [sarcastically] Big wow.

Stephanie: Look, these are the coolest girls in the 5th grade! Just stay out! [to the Jennifers, as she walks back in] Excuse the interruption. [But apparently, her roommate doesn't listen, as she follows her big sister back in.]

Michelle: [looks them over] They don't look so cool.

[The Jennifers look at each other in disbelief.]

Stephanie: That fever. She's delirious. [And she grabs her roommate by the shoulders this time as she takes her back out.] Michelle, I am begging you! Just stay out.

Michelle: It's my room, too!

Stephanie: Look, go away now and I promise: the next time I do something really, really important, you can stay. Deal?

Michelle: Deal. [They shake hands, and Stephanie heads back into the room and closes the door, leaving her roommate to ponder her next move.] Who can I bother? D.J.! [She walks that way.]

[D.J. is studying in her room with Kimmy and Steve, when her former roommate enters without knocking.]

D.J.: Rules. [Stephanie then leaves, closes the door behind her, and then knocks.] Enter.

Stephanie: Deej, you have to take me down to the mall to get my ears pierced.

D.J.: I can't. You need a parent. Ask Dad.

Stephanie: Dad?! He wouldn't even let me put holes in my jeans!

Steve: Hey Steph, what's the big deal? My dad tried it to be hip, but he looked just like a pirate accountant.

[Stephanie wants to get her ears pierced but...]

Danny: D.J. got her ears pierced when she got to junior high. You can get your ears pierced when you get to junior high.

Stephanie: [saying the episode's title] But I'm Not D.J.!

Danny: Hey, I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules. [Back that up.] Actually, I do.

[Stephanie enters her and her sister's room with Kimmy, and both put a stop to Michelle's tea party with Comet.]

Stephanie: Out, Michelle.

Michelle: But I have a guest [motioning to Comet].

Stephanie: Your guest drinks out of the toilet.

Michelle: So does yours [Kimmy].

Stephanie: Michelle, Kimmy and I have something important to do.

Michelle: Well, well, well.

Stephanie: Michelle!

Michelle: [reminding her big sister of their 'deal' from earlier] You said if it's something important, I get to stay.

Kimmy: Oh, let the runt watch. I work better with an audience.

Stephanie: OK. Whatever goes on between us is top secret. Pinky swear.

Michelle: Wow! Pinky swear. This is big. [She hooks up.]

Kimmy: [as she pulls out the chair from the desk near Stephanie's bed] OK, park your lobes right here.

Stephanie: [as she sits down] Dad won't let me get my ears pierced, so I'm letting Kimmy do it.

Michelle: Are you nuts?

Stephanie: No! I'm desperate.

Danny: Steph, sit down. You lied to me, and you deliberately disobeyed me! I told you you could get your ears pierced when you got to junior high like D.J.

Stephanie: Why do I have to do everything like D.J.? When D.J. did it, how D.J. did it. I want to be treated like an individual.

Danny: Okay. Okay. That's a good point.

Stephanie: It is? I mean, it is.

Danny: Steph, let me ask you a question. Why did you want pierced ears?

Stephanie: All my friends have them.

Danny: So you wanted to be an individual so you can be exactly like your friends?

Stephanie: Well, no. I guess... maybe.

Danny: Honey, if your friends didn't have pierced ears, would you still want them?

Stephanie: I don't know. Is this a trick question?