The Stink

A Lesson in Recycling



 * GUMBALL!! Think about what you're doing!


 * I have... to save... THE PLANET!!


 * Yes, but you're supposed to rinse it out and peel off the label first!


 * Ugh. Why do they have to make recycling so complicated?


 * Dude, any time you recycle anything, you act as if you're single-handedly saving the world!


 * Ugh, I'll just throw it in the regular trash. It's easier to carry the guilt than to carry the bottle.




 * ​​​​: NOOOOO!!


 * I misjudged! You have to recycle this!


 * Ugh, but I never know which bin to use!




 * ​​​​: Then you need to learn more about recycling! Take a leaf from my book. Well, don't actually take a leaf, 'cuz that would harm the tree that the book was made from. Actually, don't make a book at all, because the trees are dying! Just--use recycled paper, okay?


 * Who wants to use something that's already been used? Isn't it weird making new stuff out of old stuff?




 * ​​​​: With today's sophisticated recycling techniques, you can reuse old stuff and most people can never tell the difference!


 * Nah, I think it just looks cheap.


 * ​​​​: All I'm saying is, we all need to be aware of the impact we're having on the planet. Look at me. I have so little impact that when I'm gone, it'll be like I never even existed! Doesn't that sound fulfilling?


 * No! If we ruin this planet, can't we just move on to the next one? It's what the founding fathers would have done!


 * ​​​​: It's exactly that kind of glib attitude that led to the near-extinction of the great Stink Ape of Elmore Woods!


 * Wow. That ape must've been seriously glib for it to lead to its own extinction.


 * ​​​​: I will make this as clear as I possibly can. The people were glib; the ape was not glib.


 * How do you  know the ape wasn't glib?


 * I guess everyone has a bad day sometimes!


 * ​​​​: Right. I-I-I feel like we're getting away from the point.


 * That's true. I don't even know what glib means. Uh--why is this Bigfoot-creature thing called the Stink Ape anyway?


 * ​​​​: Its scent was reminiscent of a skunk. Or rotting flesh. Or rotting skunk flesh.


 * And just to confirm, you wanna save  this animal, not destroy it with fire? Wait-- I can definitely smell something! Can you smell it, Darwin?


 * It smells like miscellaneous herbs and body odor.


 * Uh, I was going for THE STINK OF HYPOCRISY!!!


 * ​​​​: Excuse me!


 * Well, everything you do has an impact on something!


 * ​​​​: Not me! Come, walk a mile in my  sandals, I'll show you! [walks off]


 * I don't think those things can last a mile, but whatever. [They follow him]

I've Never Harmed A Single Living Thing!



 * Welcome to Organic 'n' Stuff!


 * ​​​​: [to Gumball and Darwin]  I think all ethical living has to start with what you buy. Which is why I never buy from big corporations! I shop at thirteen different free trade, independent grocery stores like this one. [picks up a basket and starts filling it]  Sure, it may take me roughly three tanks of gas and a full set of tires to get me my groceries, but all the food here is locally sourced.


 * Really? Were the coconuts locally sourced? And the Hungarian goulash? And this Himalayan goat curd? How did that  get here? [hands a tub of goat curd to Darwin]


 * [reading back of container]  Truck, truck, boat, train, plane, truck, tanker, moped, truck, unicycle.


 * ​​​​: Well, it was locally sourced in its country of origin! [Takes his basket to the checkout]  Thanks, Larry! Hey, am I paying extra for this warm feeling inside?


 * Ha ha! Yes.




 * But Mr. Small, how can you justify having money? It's made from paper, which comes from trees, which need to be cut down!


 * ​​​​: But--I also use a bank card!


 * A plastic bank card, perchance?


 * ​​​​: FINE!! [throws his bank card on the ground] 


 * Littering, Mr. Small? Really?


 * ​​​​: Ugh. [walks off]




 * Welcome to Tea 'n' Stuff! What kind of blend are you vibing today?


 * ​​​​: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just my usual.


 * [looks around suspiciously]  Haven't we already been in here?


 * [nervously] Ha-ha, no! Tea 'n' Stuff is not connected to Organic 'n' Stuff, and neither of them are affiliates or subsidiaries of Chanax Incorporated!


 * Are you sure about that?


 * ​​​​: Of course! They do poetry readings and jazz nights! There's a chalkboard with inspirational messages on it! [The chalkboard on the wall is shown to say "Coffee Helps make A Normal Afternoon Xtra-special"]  It can't be a big corporation!


 * Look closer, Mr. Small.




 * ​​​​: Fine! Then I'll just drink tap water! [takes a paper cup, fills it with water from the water cooler and takes a big sip]


 * Just accept it! Everyone has an impact on something!


 * ​​​​: Well, not me! I have never harmed a single living thing! [Walks out holding the cup]


 * Hey, he hasn't paid!


 * But it says the water's complimentary!


 * Yes, but the paper cup is $13.50.

Living In The Forest



 * ​​​​: [in his head] I've never harmed a single living thing! I've never harmed a single living thing! [suddenly out loud] I've never harmed a single living thing! [smugly] Wow. I really nailed that line. But--maybe he's right! [Looks into his water cup. A microscope image of four microbes is seen.]


 * I'm home!


 * [barks]


 * Oh hey, Patch! Hey, buddy! Mom, Dad, I've got some news! I got into Yale! For microbes.


 * Oh, we're so proud of you!


 * A chip off the old cell lining. Twenty-four generations of our family have lived in this water for almost an hour and you'll be the first to go to university, son!




 * ​​​​: What have I done?! [A fly lands on his windshield]


 * What did I ever do to you?!


 * ​​​​: I'm so sorry! Let me just- [Turns on his windshield wipers to free the fly, but only ends up squishing him more. Mr. Small screams and veers off the road, bumping into a tree. A branch bends downward. He looks up and from his perspective, it looks like the tree is pointing at him accusingly, with a face and all. He screams again and runs off into the wilderness]


 * ​​​​: AAAHHHHH!! I'M A MONSTER!!! [Hears some annoyed-sounding animal noises]  Sorry. Sorry. Sorry!


 * [Later, in a sun-filled forest clearing.] 


 * ​​​​: Ah. Maybe this is meant to be. I am meant to be completely at one with nature! EMBRACE ME, EARTH MOTHER!!! [Out of nowhere, it starts to downpour]  Or don't. I guess you wanna be more of an earth aunt who only calls once a year.


 * [A few days later. It's a beautiful day in the forest, but Mr. Small is exhausted, hungry, and covered in dirt and twigs. He finds a squirrel, who mimes to him that he is hungry.]


 * ​​​​: Hungry? Yeah, I am hungry. Lead on, little buddy.


 * [The squirrel hops off, and Mr. Small crawls after him. They arrive at a small clearing, where a hungry horde of squirrels awaits. They all ravenously attack him and start biting.]


 * ​​​​: AAHH! AAAAAHHHH!! He meant he  was hungry!


 * [Mr. Small is now walking through a river. He lifts up his leg and finds a leech]


 * ​​​​: AAHH! A LEECH!! Well, take what you need, I've got more than enough. [The leech sucks him completely dry.]  A little too much! [He squeezes the leech and returns to normal, then pulls it off and throws it away.]


 * [Some time later, Mr. Small is meditating and some butterflies land on him.]


 * ​​​​: Ah, beautiful. Not all nature is out to get me! [More butterflies land on him and start lifting him up.]  Huh? [They slowly lift him into the mouth of a giant leech.] AHHHH! [The worm starts to swallow him]

The Pain of Guilt

 * [Meanwhile, at Elmore Junior High in Miss Simian's classroom]


 * Now class, it seems Mr. Small has taken a leave of absence. And his senses... so I'll be taking his class today.


 * Do you feel bad about Mr. Small?


 * No, I mean he's always struck me as the type of guy who would eventually throw his life away and go live in the woods. I don’t think it has anything to with me. My conscience is clear.
 * [Enters Gumball's conscience, with different Gumballs trying to put up with the guilt]


 * [Russian accent] Captain, what is wrong?


 * Nothing's wrong. Put up the denial shields.


 * They're already at maximum! They won't take any more.


 * Captain, we appear to be running low on soda on one of the vending machines on level three.


 * Why would you tell me that now?


 * Well, excuse me for wanting to a be part of something.


 * The denial shields are down! Facts are getting in!


 * Prepare for emotional impact.


 * [Back to Miss Simian’s classroom]


 * Yeah, you’re right, I feel super guilty. And the ship's out of soda.


 * Huh?


 * Nothing. Look, we gotta see if he’s okay. I mean, it’s probably too late, but maybe we can help identify him.

Finding Mister Small

 * [Nighttime. Gumball and Darwin are out in Elmore Woods.]


 * MISTER SMALL!!! MISTER SMALL!!!


 * Dude, don't shout! There could be anything out here. You'll make us a target!


 * Good point. I'll do a different voice. He won't know it's us! [sing-songy] Mister Sma-all!! Mister Sma-AAAAAHHHH!!


 * [They fall into a hole and land in front of a cave. Heavy breathing is heard from inside the cave.]


 * Uh- you okay? [Darwin nods and moves his mouth with the breathing noises] Dude, you need to get some exercise. You sound like a French bulldog in a sauna.


 * That's not me. And... [sniffs] Can you smell something?


 * [sniffs] Yeah, it kinda smells like rotting flesh!


 * Or a skunk!


 * and : OR ROTTING SKUNK FLESH!!


 * [Two bright red eyes open from inside the cave. The two turn around in fear.]


 * [whimpering] It's the ape!


 * On three. One, two, three...[Darwin runs away] STAY PERFECTLY STILL!! [He notices this and catches up with Darwin.] Why did you run?!


 * You counted down! Who does a countdown to nothing?!


 * Lonely people on New Year's Eve?


 * Yeah. Fair point. [They speed up.] IT'S COMING!!! [A shadowy figure walks towards them.]


 * [sees a log on the path] Quick! In here!! [They crawl in, but the figure keeps coming closer.]


 * It's right outside! What do we do?!


 * We're gonna roll this thing! [He pushes on the side of the log, and it rolls down a cliff. They land, but with swapped limbs.] Maybe one more roll?


 * Yeah. [They keep rolling, and hit the side of a rock, back to normal.]


 * Ah, that's better. Okay, the coast is cle-AAAAHHHH!!! [The figure's hand blocks the side of the log, and his leg blocks the other side. He punches into the top, but his arm gets stuck.] Its arm is stuck! Go, go, go!!! [They crawl under his arm, get out of the log, and suddenly find themselves cornered by the figure.] This is it. It's all over.


 * [Darwin reaches out his hand, and Gumball takes it. He quickly pulls back.]


 * Ugh! Your hands are really sweaty!


 * Yeah, I know, I'm sorry about that, but I didn't want to leave you hanging. And I didn't have time to wipe.


 * [The shadow gets closer. The boys grab each other.]


 * and : DAAAAAHHHHH!!!!


 * [The light comes on the shadowy figure. It's none other than Mr. Small, battered and filthy.]


 * ​​​​: Boys! I'm so glad you're okay!


 * Mr. Small!!


 * Why were you chasing us?


 * ​​​​: I was trying to warn you! These woods are not safe! Trust me. These have been the hardest eight months of my life!


 * You've been gone half a day.


 * ​​​​: I figured I would not survive another winter. [His eye twitches]


 * But on the plus side, you're living at one with nature!


 * ​​​​: And it's all thanks to you! [Gives Gumball and Darwin a big hug. Gumball's face dries up in disgust.]


 * It seems you've buried the stink of hypocrisy under a far worse smell!


 * We thought you were the Stink Ape!


 * ​​​​: Ho-ho! I'm afraid it doesn't exist. I've been out here long enough to know that there's no such thing.


 * But if there's no Stink Ape, what's so dangerous about the woods?


 * ​​​​: Oh, I've set traps everywhere.


 * Wait, traps?! You're a vegetarian! What happened to living on nuts and berries?


 * ​​​​: Turns out there's competition for the nuts and berries! And...turns out the competition is tastier than the nuts and berries.


 * Okay, but if there's no Stink Ape....what's that?


 * [Another shadowy figure walks towards them. Glowing mushrooms grow on the ground where he steps. 


 * ​​​​: Oh my goodness! It's real! [The light comes on him. Sure enough, it's the real Stink Ape.] It's come to greet me as a brother of the forest! Embrace me, noble creature-[The ape falls into a deep hole. Mr. Small gasps.]


 * Will it be okay?!


 * ​​​​: I don't know. This is one of my more brutal traps.


 * Eh, it's just a hole. I guess he'll-[Darts fly into the hole, and a huge boulder falls on top. The ape lets out a muffled groan]


 * ​​​​: I think I was doing less damage in the real world.


 * Uh, see you back at school tomorrow?


 * ​​​​: Yeah. [Episode ends.]