Tiger Millionaire

[Open Int. Crystal Temple: Warp Pad]

(The Gems warp into the Crystal Temple, Pearl scolds Amethyst for her recklessness.)

Pearl: How could you possibly think punching a blood polyp was a good idea? Look at all the gunk you got on me! *flicks away a small piece of gunk on her arm* And look at Steven! *points at Steven*

Steven: (His whole body except his face is covered in goo.) It's not so bad once you get used to it.

Amethyst: See? He likes it.

Pearl: He certainly won't like it when it hardens.

Steven: *starts to get worried* Uhh, what? Umm, I'm gonna go wash. *begins to waddle away*

Pearl: *off-screen* He shouldn't have been so close in the first place. (Steven hardens in place near fridge.)

Amethyst: How was I supposed to know they pop?

Steven: Uh, guys?

Pearl: You're always putting us in danger with your little outbursts! (Amethyst puts fingers in ears and sticks out tongue.) Ugh, you are just... so... CHILDISH!

Amethyst: Yeah, yeah. And don't forget: *counts on fingers* Reckless, vulgar, "loud mouth". And that's just what makes me so awesome! *to Garnet* *yells* RIGHT, GARNET?

Garnet: *shifts visor* Amethyst, you are a Crystal Gem. You need to act like it.

Amethyst: *looks hurt* *turns around* Fine. (The Temple Gate activates.) *walks into room*

Pearl: *finally smiles* I think we really got through to her! (Garnet groans.) Right, Garnet? (They both leave the house, ignoring Steven.)

Steven: *still trapped* Guys?

[Time Skip- nighttime]

(Steven is asleep in a hardened shell of gunk. Temple Door opens, waking Steven. Amethyst rushes out wearing a cape and leaves, Steven falls over and shatters the mold, freeing him.)

Steven: *on ground* Amethyst?

(Steven follows her to a warehouse.)

[Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse]

(Amethyst transforms into Purple Puma, introduced by Mr. Smiley, the M.C. of the Beach City Underground Wrestling tournament and stands in the center of the ring, Steven watches from the window.)

Mr. Smiley: *announcing* For those of you befuddled by the events of athleticism, you are about to see: the Purple Puma, rrrah, is the single most hated wrestler in Beach City Underground's... HIS-TO-RYYY! *crowd boos*

Steven: *whispers* Whaaat? (Amethyst eggs on the crowd.)

Mr. Smiley: Alright ladies and gentlemen, let's introduce his opponent, or should I say: victim. *laughs* The Loch Ness Bloggster!

Ronaldo: *dressed as Loch Ness Bloggster* I'm, uh, going to end your reign of terror! Aah! *runs at her and almost immediately gets knocked out with a block*

Mr. Smiley: *laughs* Well, now, now that was quick. *crowd boos* Yeah, yeah, I don't like it either but hey, what do you do? (Puma throws Ronaldo at the crowd.)

[Trans. Ext. Abandoned Warehouse]

(Purple Puma bursts through back doors, roars in victory, shapeshifts back into Amethyst and sighs as Steven sneaks up behind her.)

Steven: Amethyst! *attempts to put her in a head lock, only for Amethyst to flip him on his back*

Amethyst: *shocked then looks around* What are you doing here?

Steven: *still on the ground and looking up* Are you a secret wrestler?

Amethyst: *pauses* Yyyeah.

Steven: *gasps* *excitedly* *stands up* But HOW? But WHEN? But WHY?

Amethyst: *looks at him* Come here. Lemme explain something to you. (Steven goes to Amethyst.) *puts arm around him* In the ring, nobody can tell me what to do! And if they try, I HIT 'EM IN THE FACE WITH A CHAIR!

Steven: *looks at Amethyst's arm* And people... like that?

Amethyst: "Like it"? They LOVE it! Aha, *thinks about it* well, they hate it, but it's all part of the fun you know? *becomes uncomfortable for a minute* E-everyone here, gets that. *annoyed* Urggh! You don't know what it's like having Pearl and Garnet on your back all the time!

Steven: *feels the same* Are you kidding me? *impersonates Pearl* Oh Steven, I told you before not to take peanut butter on missions. *impersonates Garnet* I'm not going to say anything, but I expect you to understand that was wrong. (Amethyst laughs.) Let me be a wrestler with you! I'm so stifled!

Amethyst: *thinks about it* Well, I haven't won the tag team belt yet. But you can't tell Pearl and Garnet.

Steven: Deal!

[Trans. Int. Beach House]

(''Steven slicks back his hair with Margarine, wears suspenders and places a small whisker mask on, thus becoming the wrestler Tiger Millionaire.)

Steven: Are you READY? Presenting: Tiger Millionaire! Rich feline industrialist from Jungle Island, once the single child of the wealthy Tiger Family, he clawed out his own destiny making money in the coconut mines.

Amethyst: *interrupts his imagination* Wow, you just came up with all that?

Steven: Well, yeah. What's your backstory?

Amethyst: Pumas are cool.

Steven: Uhh... we'll workshop that later.

[Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse]

Mr. Smiley: Two local heroes in the ring tonight, they build hospitals for the sick, and they build muscles that look slick! Give it up for.... Concrete Heat and Chunk Truck!; Facing off against the Purple Puma and our newest, mewest competitor: Tiger Millionaire! *crowd boos*

Lars: That little guy's gonna get creamed.

Sadie: From here *chews popcorn* he kinda looks like Steven.

Lars: Pfft! Yeah, right.

(Steven prepares to step into the ring.)

Amethyst: Steven, wait! *blocks him from entering the ring* I'm just using you to get the tag team belt, I'll do all the actual fighting.

Steven: Do I still get to wear the costume?

Amethyst: I don't care!

Steven: Okay! *gives Amethyst a thumbs up*

(Amethyst as Purple Puma roars and charges at Chunk Trunk.)

Mr. Smiley: Oh! Devastating move by Puma!

Steven: Uh?- Purple! Purple Puma! Look out! (Concrete Heat places a traffic cone on Purple Puma's head.)

Mr. Smiley: What a gross usage of safety equipment, and your tax dollars.

Steven: That's not fair!

Mr. Smiley: It may not seem fair, but hey, anything goes in wrestling.

Steven: It DOES?!

Mr. Smiley: Oh YES it does!

Steven: *to self* Looks like this Tiger's gotta turn cheetah! *to Chunk Truck* Hey Chunk Truck! I'll give you a million jungle bucks to throw the match!

Mr. Smiley: What's this? It looks like Tiger Millionaire is offering a bribe!

Chunk Truck: Why, we could fill a thousand potholes with&mdash; (Chunk Truck gets hit by Tiger Millionaire's briefcase.) Ahuh!

Lars: Oh snap! Did you see that? *swats away Sadie's popcorn making her glare at him*

(Purple Puma knocks out Chunk Truck.)

Mr. Smiley: Oh! I mean just wow!

Amethyst: Way to go, Tiger! *holds Tiger Millionaire's hand as he blushes*

[Montage of Amethyst and Steven winning several more matches and Pearl and Garnet slowly finding pieces of Steven's props]

Mr. Smiley: *sweats* Record breaking heat tonight folks! Could it be? Tiger Millionaire has bought out our soda stand. Maybe he'll share with his thirsty fans... oh! (Steven drops soda all over the ground.) Now there's no sodas for anybody. Wha&mdash; and now he's putting on galoshes? (Steven stomps in the puddle.) Wow folks, this is really hard to watch.

Lars: Aahahahaha! Classic! Tiger! Hey Tiger! Would you sign this? It'd be so rad!

Steven: You couldn't AFFORD it! (Steven knocks Lars' soda on the ground.)

(Lars looks crushed and blushes in embarrassment.)

Mr. Smiley: Woah... Never thought I'd live to see the day when a contender turned down his own fan. (Lars throws Tiger Millionaire's tie on the ground.)

Steven: I thought we were just having fun!

Mr. Smiley: Tiger Millionaire, you're the cruelest creature on the planet.

(The crowd jeers and boos at him.)

[Trans. Int. Steven's house]

Amethyst: Hey Tiger! Are ya ready to win our final match?

Steven: *in his underwear looking at his Tiger Mask sadly* Amethyst... Am I the cruelest creature on the planet?

Amethyst: *chuckles* Oh Steven, those are just words people use to describe how they feel about you.

(Steven grows sadder.)

Amethyst: Listen, Steven you can't let anyone make you feel like garbage.

Steven: Is that how you feel?

Amethyst: I only feel how I wanna feel. *walks off with a mad expression*

[Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse]

Mr. Smiley: Ladies and gentlemen, fans of wrestling, welcome to the tag team championship! In the ring tonight: They stomped their way through the tournament and into out hearts, give it up y'all! Give it up! For Dashing Danny Doober and Handsome Hank Hackleschmidt! Only one thing would make these men look better folks: it's the tag team belt! But! Standing in their way are the ruthless kings of the jungle, they'll eat your kids and fire your parents! Ooh! Yes, it can only be: the Purple Puma and Tiiiger Millionaire! (Severe booing from crowd.)

Random Man: Don't you dare hurt those men, you monsters!

Sadie: Man, people are really hating on Tiger M.

Lars: He's awful because he hurt me specifically. *holds up "TIGER IS A JERK!" sign*

(The match is about to begin then suddenly the lights turn on and Pearl and Garnet jump down from above.)

Steven: Pearl? Ah... Garnet?

Amethyst: *shouts* What are you doing?

Pearl: What are WE doing? What is THIS? *holds up Steven's promotional flyer*

Steven: I thought we could use some promotion. (Purple Puma looks angrily at him.)

Mr. Smiley: Looks like we have some new opponents!

Pearl: No you don't! This match *turns to crowd* is cancelled!

Steven: What? Why?

Pearl: *incredulously* "Why"?! I can't believe you've been sneaking off to this... this circus of violence! *to Amethyst* And you! *whispers* Using your Gem powers on humans?!

Amethyst: It's not enough that you're on my case all the time, you have to ruin this for me too? *starts to get furious*

Pearl: We're not here to fight.

(Crowd cheers "Fight!".)

Garnet: Steven, Amethyst.

Amethyst: What?

Garnet: Go back to the temple.

Amethyst: I don't wanna! *shoves Garnet*

(Everyone gasps.)

Garnet: Don't do this. *summons gauntlet and is locked in a short fight with Amethyst*

Steven: (Amethyst squeezes Garnet.) Guys! Stop! (Garnet decks Amethyst into the ground.)

(Microphone rolls over to Steven.)

Steven: *into microphone* Wait! I want to tell you Purple Puma's backstory. He was the wildest cat in the jungle, so wild, the others cats couldn't take it. So she, I mean he, went to look for somewhere he fit in, somewhere with other people who felt misunderstood.

Sadie: That really sounds like Steven. (Lars shushes Sadie.)

Steven: That's why we're all here. To be wild and free, and body slam each other, and wear cool costumes, and make up nicknames and uh... so can't we just have this? Can't we just wrestle? (Garnet takes microphone.)

Garnet: No. (Everyone gasps.) Because we are the... Notorious O-order of... Wrestling... Haters.

Pearl: That's right! Um... we wanna stop all wrestling everywhere! Are you going to let us destroy all wrestling? *laughs nervously* Hee-huh?

Lars: You gotta save wrestling! Come on! Tiger! Puma! Tiger! Puma! (He holds up his renewed sign that says "TIGER IS NOT A JERK" and stands on the chair to get the crowd to chant for Tiger and Puma.)

(Crowd starts chanting "Tiger! Puma!".)

Steven: We'll stop you!

Mr. Smiley: What a stunning turn around! (Steven pretends to defeat Pearl.) The jungle duo are fighting back! (Amethyst and Steven pretend to defeat Garnet.) And they've taken down Captain Square, but wait wait, it's the... it's the good looking gang with a ladder! Are they planning to steal the belt? No! Oh, they're actually helping Tiger up! (Mr. Smiley's words fade into the background.)

Amethyst: *kneels beside Garnet, who is laying on the floor* Sorry for... uh... sorry.

Garnet: Same here.

Mr. Smiley: Tiger Millionaire has claimed the Tag Team Belts! Tiger and Puma have won the championship! And saved wrestling!

Sadie: Lars, I'm really confused. *claps slowly*

Lars: I love you, Tiger Millionaire. *sheds tear*

[The star iris closes on Lars' tear]

[END]