Dog Show

[The episode begins at the Dog Show event.]

Announcer: Today is the biggest event of the year! The all-breed dog show! [All the dogs are locked. George Liquor got Ren.

George Liquor: Hello! I'm George Liquor... American! Now I want you to meet real champion showdog. [George Liquor pets Ren] My prize mantion big name "Champy"! [George Liquor opens up and Ren gets out of cell. George Liquor picks up Ren] Look at that little rascal. Chow as your lipstick. That's a good boy. Now our champion show that dog processes many fine treats. Like dinner hygene for instense. [Close-up to Ren's teeth.] Just look at those gums. Does gums does this come CHEAP!? No sir, you've got to massage them. [George Liquor rubs Ren's gums] There ya go. Now don't be stinky if you loved. [Ren sighs happily] How about that? [George Liquor looks at Ren's tail] What's this crap? You only got one of these? Yeah, I'll bet it does. To be a real champion, your dog must have the tail off. Easy now. [String pops the tail off.] There, that's pretty. Now know all this smooth butt, that's illegal to appears to your showdog. [George Liquor picks Stimpy] Looky, here's another one. See that?

Stimpy: Duhhh, but I'm a cat!

George Liquor: Let it go, Rex. Finally, let's start over look at the importants of the showdogs FUR! Look at those fine coats! [Ren and Stimpy are shiny as a fur.] I will born this way, only a deary buffine can read up that time. [George Liquor has a Big buffine and shaves both furs.] Ah, yes. [Stimpy got backskinned.]

Stimpy: My! You're look might handsome! [Ren has a back skeleton]

Ren: Shut up, or I'll tear your tonsils out. [buzzers]

Salesman (as Megaphone): Pre-Judging will begin in 5 minutes.

George Liquor: Don't sweat it, boys. You can lick 'em, you can lick 'em ALL. [dashing with Ren and Stimpy offscreen. 5 minutes later, all the dogs and humans are going.] Ahh, no conscience. [giggles, cuts to the Pre-Judging here with George Liquor, Ren and Stimpy] Psst. Hey boys. [giggles] Well his judge feeding out of plums around my hands. [Ren and Stimpy's hands are made of rotten plums.] Psst. There's the man now. [Cuts to Mr. Horse and Mrs. Buttloaves.]

Mr. Horse: Alright, let's have a look at your dog, ma'am. [Mr. Horse sees the curly puppy.]

George Liquor: Pah, he call out of dog. Whipped with the hippy wig. [Mr. Horse puts the curly puppy and checks the Pre-Judge meter. The meter was in the middle.]

Mr. Horse: Mmm-hmm? [Mr. Horse use the measure the curly puppy.] Mmm-hmm? Hmmm...

George Liquor: Ahhh, it's an the bag. It's too easy. [Mr. Horse eats the curly puppy and chews it. Mr. Horse spits his curly puppy out.]

Mrs. Buttloaves: Does Periwinkle measured, Hon? No ma'am, I don't like it. [Mr. Horse throws the curly puppy.]

Mrs. Buttloaves: [offscreen] GASP! [Bulldog was sleeping. Bulldog eats the curly puppy and swallows it. Bulldog spits the eye out. Curly puppy's eyes blinks twice. Ren and Stimpy are shocking and got scared.]

Ren: [tearing up, hugs Stimpy] It's been a good life.

Mr. Horse: Next! [Mr. Horse saws a Black Dog with Man's hand. Black Dog barks wildly and crazy. Mr. Horse looks at the Man and Black Dog. Mr. Horse looks at the viewers.] This cripe. [Mr. Horse covers his hands at Black Dog.] GIVE ME THAT! [Bulldog opens his mouth, Black Dog pushs his Mr. Horse hands off.]

Black Dog: WAIT!! It's not my fault! You think that guy wanna see the hair like THIS!? HUH?!?

George Liquor: Man, would you look at that? Makes me wanna PUKE!!

Black Dog: It's him! HE makes me do it! It's HIS fault! KILL HIM!!! OH PLEASE, don't protect me, ple-e-e-ease!

George Liquor: It's in the bag.

Mr. Horse: [turns red to anger, turns to gray for normal self] Look at you, you're begging! Shame on YOU!

Black Dog: Alright alright. You're right. I'm gonna take it like... A MAN! [Black Dog was slowly walk to the Bulldog's mouth and Black Dog closes his Bulldog's mouth.]

Mr. Horse: Next!

George Liquor: HERE! Take a look at this!

Mr. Horse: [Mr. Horse looks at Ren's eyes] Hmmm... Asthma Chihuahua, huh? Look at that. [Mr. Horse looks at Ren's ears, full of bugs] Well, this is representive of this sickness brain. Alright, he's in. [Mr. Horse puts Ren to the Final Contestants.]

Ren: Stimpy.

Mr. Horse: Hmm... [Mr. Horse looks at Stimpy's mouth] Never seen this breed before. [Mr. Horse looks at Stimpy's butt] Hmmm... [Mr. Horse covers Stimpy] No sir, this butt's too smooth. Never heard of that. [Bulldog tries to open his mouth]

George Liquor: TAKE A CLOSER LOOK, YA MORON! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT CORNIE'S BACK SIDE WHEN YOU SEE ONE?!?

Mr. Horse: Maybe I won't!

George Liquor: [growls] ARRRGH!!! [George Liquor bumps Mr. Horse to see Stimpy.] Well, take the nasty look!

Mr. Horse: [George Liquor bonks Mr. Horse head with Stimpy] OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!!

George Liquor: ARE YOU GET CLOSER NOW?!? HUH?!? HUH?!? BIG SHOT?!? WHAT DO YA THINK NOW?!? HUH?!?

Mr. Horse: I think he looks good! [smiles]

Stimpy: Thank you.

George Liquor: LOUDER! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Mr. Horse: [sweat] It looks good! MIND AGAIN!

Stimpy: Thanks again.

George Liquor: Yeah, I thought so. [George Liquor, Ren and Stimpy goes to the finals.] Well boys, this is a big time. Make me proud. [smiles]

Salesman: Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the all new Breed Dog Show Finals! I'm your judge!

George Liquor: Now here's a real judge for them. A man's man.

Salesman: Only the finest showdogs from all over the world have come to compete with this spectacular event! And now, our first contestant, a stunning as Italian Prey Hound. [Italian Prey Hound shines.]

George Liquor: Boys, this is getting harder than I thought.

Salesman: Remarkable... Perfect high corners...

George Liquor: Don't worry, boys, if we don't make it, we'll just going back to our guard dog training.

Salesman: A solid breastskit. He gets a nine. [Italian Prey Hound walks away] And next, we have a fabulous cornish Rex Hound.

George Liquor: Go to it, Rex. [Stimpy will join Salesman and do the pose.]

Salesman: Mmm, good completion?

George Liquor: Atta girl, Rex.

Salesman: Nice hops, man.

George Liquor: He likes him! He likes him!

Salesman: Let's take a closer look, shall we? [squeezes Stimpy's leg] Ahh.. YES! Good muscle tops. What's this!? [Ingrown Dew Claw on Stimpy's leg] Ohhhh, an Ingrown Dew Claw! [Salesman has a thumb down] Disqualified! [Stimpy was shocked]

George Liquor: [shocked] WHAT?!?

Salesman: Take it away. [Pole picks Stimpy away, George Liquor stretches his face angry and rips off his shirt during big roars and gets mad. George Liquor pants.]

George Liquor: YA LOUSY ROTTEN BUM YA!!! IT TOOK ME MONTHS TO PUSH IN THAT DEW CLAW!!!

Salesman: And next, A prize as a hound Chihuahua!

George Liquor: [groans] It's up to YOU now! You're gonna bring me my trophy! You're gonna make dream come true! YOU GOT THAT?!?

Ren: Ohhh no! I ain't going up there! Why don't you do it yourself, Mr. Big Shot! [Ren covers his mouth]

George Liquor: OH, A SMARTMOUTH HUH?!? [shivers the screen] Alright, okay! I'll... [Screen stops shaking, echoing loudly] DO IT!!! [normal voice] And I'm gonna win too. [George Liquor joins to see Salesman. George Liquor do the pose.]

Salesman: WOW! Look at those lines! A perfect chest for the withers to briscet! Such as smooth BUTT!

Audiences: Ohh! Ahh!

Salesman: [tearing off] I tell ya I've never seen a finer dog in my lung career! Ladies and Gentlemen, for outstanding excellence among all breeds.. I present these 1st prize to our finest showdog the Royal American, Charge hound! [Salesman claps his hands and audiences cheering and show a confetti. Audience holds the George Liquor smiles and audience walks to the left. Cuts to Ren and Stimpy was having tears of joy.]

Ren and Stimpy: [sobbing] Oh  Joy....

[Fades to black at the end of the episode.]