Force Code / Flammable

(Segment begins with DNA buzzing around)

(DNA goes to Captain Colter Stevens who is just waking up.)

Colter Stevens: Wha-- Where am I? (Scene looks around to a camera, TV screen turning on with "static" sounds, and... blue underwear...?) All I remember is an explosion, and then--

(TV monitor turns on, establishing contact with Colleen Goodwin of Project: Beleaguered Castle)

Colleen Goodwin: Captain, you are part of the Source Code, a military project that allows you to take over someone else's body.

Colter Stevens: (Holding a mirror) Ah, thank goodness. I thought this was my real face.

Colleen Goodwin: Actually, it is. We haven't sent you back yet.

Colter Stevens: Oh. Well, how about putting me into the body of Ryan Reynolds? I've always like his... career.

Colleen Goodwin: Captain! There's no time! There was an explosion, and we need you to keep going back until you can stop it.

(Colleen presses the button and sends Colter... as a member of an army of stormtroopers stationed aboard the Death Star, the last word in planet-killing superweapons.)

Colter Stevens: Whoa, what a rush!

Stormtrooper: Hey, buddy. You should put your helmet on. This is probably gonna hurt.

Colter Stevens: What's gonna hurt?

(BAM! That's gonna hurt: the Death Star goes out with a bang - after Luke's proton torpedo run, of course)

(Title card: Force Code)

(Scene goes to Colter's eyes)

Colleen Goodwin: What did you find out?

Colter Stevens: (While head looking damaged) That those helmets don't protect diddly squat.

Colleen Goodwin: Then we'll have to keep sending you back. [Takes up timer] I'm giving you eight minutes. [Sets timer on 8 minutes and puts it down.] Don't let anything get in the way of you stopping that bomb.

(Colleen presses button)

Colter Stevens: Wait. Tha--

(Too late. Colten is transferred as another stormtrooper, standing on guard at the Millennium Falcon)

Han Solo (Voice Only): Hey, down there! Can you give us a hand with this?

Colter Stevens: Heh, I got eight minutes.

(Colter and another stormtrooper go into the ship to help... only to get both blasted by the bounty hunter.)

(Death Star gets destroyed (for the 2nd time))

(Colter is transferred as a stormtrooper, with access to the Death Star brig controls)

Stormtrooper: Prisoner transfer.

Colter Stevens: Heh, I got eight minutes.

Chewbacca: (Roars)

(Chewbacca nails Colter with a blaster bolt)

(Death Star gets destroyed (for the 3rd time))

(Colter is transferred as a stormtrooper in a hallway)

(Scene goes to a man giving a massage to an alien, for 10 minutes)

[Sign: 10 Minute Massage]

Colter Stevens: Heh, I got eight minutes.

(Death Star gets destroyed (for the 4th time))

(Scene goes back to Colter (who is badly damaged) back to the Geodesic Dome)

Colter Stevens: Maybe you should send me back as someone else.

Colleen Goodwin: Worth a shot.

(Colleen presses button and Colter is transferred into Obi-Wan Kenobi, complete with lightsaber and cloak - right in the middle of the lightsaber duel with the dread Darth Vader.)

Colter Stevens: A lightsaber? Now, this oughta do the trick.

(Pan right to reveal Darth Vader, red lightsaber on the ready and primed for the kill.)

Dark Vader: (Wheezes)

Colter Stevens: Oh no wai--

(SLASH! Too late - Dark Vader slices Colter Stevens in half in one motion.)

(Death Star gets destroyed (for the 5th time))

(Scene goes back to Colter (Who is more badly damaged than before) back to the Geodesic Dome)

Colter Stevens: This is starting to annoy me.

Colleen Goodwin: How do you think the audience feels?

(Colleen presses the button and Colter is transferred as a stormtrooper near Escape Pod 5)

Colter Stevens: Forget her! (Throws away blaster rifle) I'm getting off this ticking timebomb!

(Colter goes into the TIE Fighter-style escape pod, launches, heads for - and lands on - Alderaan, here of all planets.)

Colter Stevens: Heh. Suckers. Let's see who's laughing n--

(Scene goes to Colter staring at a sign: "Welcome to Alderaan - Re-Elect Mayor Bail Organa". Baaaaaad omen.)

(The Death Star fires its superlaser at Alderaan, wiping it out in one shot)

(Scene goes back to Colter (Who is now in a full cast) back to the Geodesic Dome)

Colter Stevens: Enough! I can't take this anymore! How are you even doing this?

Colleen Goodwin: It's quite simple, really. A person's brain stays alive long enough for us to send a second person back in the first person's body (An energy hum builds up as Colter's head slowly starts to blow from this information overload) while speaking about it in the third person. Send the second person back--

KA-BLOOEY!!!

Dr. Rutledge: I told you it would blow his mind.

(DING!)

(Scene becomes corrupted and goes to Animated Marginals, terminating the segment)

High School Gang: (Singing) Singing in high school...

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