Anaconda

- Miss Flores. - Professor. When did you get in? A couple of days ago. l've been out asking about our tribe. - Any luck? - The evidence is they're out there. And can be found ... or so l told the grant people! My guide thinks they're here. He found one of their markers. - That's good! - l think we have a chance. - Get me there, and l'll shoot it. - That's why I hired you. - l appreciate the work. - l wanted the best director. l think we'll make a good team. You're a mess. What happened? Just a small piranha attack. l barely escaped with my life. - Somebody's up awfully early. - Well, today's a good day. Not every day my home girl gets to direct a documentary. - You ready? - l think so. - Congratulations. - Thanks. ls this a pleasure cruise? You know me. l don't mix business with pleasure. lf we go up through here ..? This way better. lf not, l cannot be responsible. Well, it's only 55 kilometers more. Better safe than sorry. - Mateo, you understand me? - Sure. - l need some shots over there. - As you say, cheffe. - Where's Westridge? He checked in. - Probably getting his beauty sleep. Careful! Careful! Bordeaux! Fragile. Expensive wine. - Christ! Good morning. - Morning. How was your flight? Actually, it was a bloody nightmare. Ongoing, l think. - One zoom lens ... - You! Stow this in my room. l'm the production manager. - Then manage them into my room! - One pompous ass ... ln some cultures, asking you to carry bags shows respect. Respect this! Terri Flores. l've seen some of your films. They were ... promising. - lt's hot! Are we on the equator? - Welcome aboard ... l guess. - He likes you! - You felt that too? lt's Jacques Cousteau! - Joinez-moi avec mon equipe ... - Whatever the hell that means ... Ready for Rio Negro! Everybody! Check your gear and pray you remembered bug spray. Our adventure begins 1,000 miles from the mouth of the Amazon. From here, we travel unexplored backwaters - - in search of the Mist People, the Shirishama. On of the last mysteries of the Rain Forest. ls it just me, or does the jungle make you horny? - l think it's the jungle. - l've got one thing on my mind. Can l work, please? Help! Save me! l'm stranded. My boat is stranded in the ropes. Help me! There's a dude on a boat over there. Pull over to his boat! We'll bring you on board. Thank the Lord for you! - Are you okay? - The roots tore off my propeller. We can't take you back to Manaus. At the next village, l know the people. They will help me. - l apologize for the trouble. - There's no need. We're all at the mercy of machines. Yours broke. Mateo, vamonos. - Fish, river style! - Not bad! We should get that on film. - Ever work in a sushi bar, Mr ..? - Paul Sarone. - Where are you from, Mr. Sarone? - Paraguay. l studied to be a priest. But then l needed to see the real world. So l ended up in the jungle. l seem to fit. What does a failed priest do here? Who says l failed? l didn't fail. So what is your calling now? Snakes. l catch them. - For zoos and collectors. - Poaching? Poaching is illegal. What are you hunting? We're not hunting anything. We're making a documentary on the Shirishama lndians. - The People of the Mist? - You know of them? - l've seen them. - Could you show me where? You saved my life. l can show you exactly where l saw them. So slurs every river rat after five whiskies in any Manaus bar. Five whiskies? That's breakfast on the river. Does salad go well with fish river style? Salad would be perfect, little baby bird. Look at that. Are they fireflies? Pretty, huh? Family Lampyridae. They use their night flashes to announce that they're ready to mate. - Who flashes? Males or females? - Both, actually. The females with short, dainty, feminine flashes, - - and the males with long, drawn-out, manly flashes. l like that. No pick-up lines, no misunderstandings. Just instinct and nature. l've missed you. Bloody racket! Hey! Don't touch my radio! l could cheerfully hire someone to kill you. - 15 dollars should cover it. - l could just kill you for free. - You and whose army? - Your mama's! Are we getting close? - Just around this bend. - Perfect. A snake totem pole. lt's the Shirishama's. They worship giant snakes. Anacondas. As gods and protectors. They have a legend of a journey to a sacred lake. First you pass a waterfall with warrior snakes. Then you travel through the land of the Shirishama, - - until you come to a wall so high, it blots out the sky ... Then after five days, you reach the head of a giant anaconda. - You know the story. - A beautiful legend ... ... of the Maku. - Also the Shirishama. - Not to my knowledge. Their village was right here. They're down this fork. - l know. l trap snakes. - And l'm sure you're good at it. l locate tribes. l'm very good at that. The water is high, so this side is flooded. So our tribe would seek higher ground over here. - Which way? - This way. l want a shot of you with the totem. Gary, roll sound. Camera rolling. Our first piece of luck: a Shirishama idol. l know what l know. Leave me at the next village. With pleasure. What the hell was that all about? - We'll go get some wild sound. - Just be careful. See you guys. Gary ... lt's unbelievable. - Gary ... - What? Oh my God! Wait. Do you hear that? The silence. - What was that? - l don't know. Mateo, shine the light over there. These two are fortunate to be alive. - What happened? - You should have seen it! He just blasted this thing coming right at us. Wild boar. Gores with his tusks. Goes for the eyes. - Denise, are you okay? - Yeah, thanks. - Everybody stays on board at night. - That's a smart idea. Mateo, let's cut him up. Food for a week. Food? - My turn? - lt's my turn. Mateo, do you have control of this vessel? Lie, if you must. The rope's caught in the propeller. l'll cut us loose. Let me. This river can kill you 1,000 ways. l can handle it. The only thing l'm afraid of is the candiru acu. lt's a tiny little catfish. lt swims up into your urethra, - - spreads its little spines and refuses to budge. - You have to cut it out. - That's it! l'm going back to L.A. Terri, something's wrong! Cale? - He's hurt. l'm going. - Hold up! Hurry up! ls he breathing? Faster, come on! Hurry! What is it? Careful. - Get something for his head. - He's not breathing. ln his mouth. - Oh my God! - Damn! What's that? A wasp. Deadly. Poisonous. He's not breathing. What do we do? - How did this happen? - Alcohol. l've got whiskey in my flask. - Quickly. - What's that for? - He's breathing! - That's it. He'll be all right. - He seems okay, we should go now. - The radio don't work. - l can't fix, okay? - We can start now. No ... fog. We must get him to hospital soon, or he'll die. What? Terri, we got lights. Good. Mateo, we'll just double back. Fighting the current, lose two days. Cut back to this tributary, save us fifty miles. - The route you suggested yesterday. - For a different reason. Now, it's to get Professor Cale to hospital as fast as possible. l hope you know what you're doing. l don't know about this dude. What choice do l have? What the hell is this? Terri, come here. - This is the river you know? - No, this is new. But no cause for panic. l'm not panicking. l'm just looking at this wall blocking our way. - Let's see what we can do. - Dynamite? lt's always good to be prepared. - But it must be there for a reason. - Yeah, to keep us out. We could upset the ecological balance of the river. l can blow it in ten minutes, - - or we can turn around and lose two days. Terri? For God's sake, blow the bloody thing! Just give me ten minutes, people. l need help. Gary, get the little boat. - There's something down there. - Yes. - l mean it. - l mean it too. Hurry. Damn it! Snakes! - Babies! - How do we get them off the boat? Come on, back to Mama. They're not all babies. Calm. - You little shit! - Sarone, help him. Someone get this bloody thing off my hand! - So young, and so lethal. - Get it off me! Later, Sweetie! - You knew there were snakes here! - lt was a pleasant surprise. - What about the fuel? - There's only enough for 100 km. About a day's ride. That will have to do. Back to your mother. - How's he doing? - He's breathing normally now. - We'll get him home. - l just don't know what's going on. He's supposed to get us to hospital. But he acts like he owns this river. And we run into a barrier full of snakes. Where's he taking us? Mateo. Stop the boat. Why are we stopping now? There'll be fuel. - You know that boat? - There's lots of boats like that. l get the impression there's nobody home. Mateo, come with me. Hold up. - l'lI get this on film. - You don't need sound, do you? Go aft. - Kind of spooky. - You think so? What the ... - Help me. - What's that? Treasures. Here. Careful, my camera's in here. Mateo, let's go! l'm coming. - What about the fuel? - There wasn't any. - Where's Mateo? - He was right behind us. Mateo! - l'm going back. - Sarone, go with him. - Maybe some other time. - Asshole. Now we've lost our driver! Mateo! Come on man, stop playing! Danny? - Yeah. - You okay? - l'm all right. l didn't see him. - How very reassuring! - This is it. - This is all you found? - What the hell is this? - Anaconda skin. - This big? - It's maybe four years old. lt's grown by now. Something like this made a meal of our captain. - Snakes don't eat people. - They don't? Anacondas are killing machines. They have heat sensors. A warm body like Mateo's wasn't hard to find. They wrap around you. Hold you tighter than your lover. You get to hear your bones break before your veins explode. - Mateo's probably just lost. - Oh, wake up! lmagine capturing it alive. That's worth a lot of money, Gary. Please people, don't make me out to be a monster. l didn't eat Mateo. Come on, everybody ... We are not sure that Mateo is dead. - We'll wait here till morning. - Are you insane? You think he went for a walk? We've got to get out of here. Get a grip! lf it was you, you'd want us to stay. Listen! lf it was me out there, l'd be dead. - Go to your cabin, lock the door. - Like a bad boy. All right. Where are my shoes? - We'll aim some lights at the boat. - That's a good idea. l'm not so sure he didn't eat the captain. He sure looks satiated. You think he's still alive? No. Let's go to bed. Danger ... Danger is exciting, huh, Gary? You go on to bed, l'll just talk to him a second. - Hurry up, l'm scared. - l'll be right there. - So ... lt's out there, isn't it? - Yeah. - And you know how to catch it? - That's right. But you can't catch it by yourself, you need a partner. Capture alive ... Maybe a million dollars, Gary. REPTlLE TRANQUlLLlZER Still no Mateo. Keep it steady, Westridge! - What the fuck are you doing? - Anaconda bait. Oh my God! - Let's go. - Stop! Not on my boat. You speak for everybody? Gary? Does she speak for everybody? Gary? With Cale sick, the movie's off. Why not salvage something? Let's film Sarone capturing a big snake. - Have you lost your mind? - No, l'm completely lucid. lt's you who need to open your eyes. We were taking Cale to hospital, now we're catching a snake? You're in the middle of the jungle! You question and criticize, - - but you don't know shit about all this. Neither do l. But l know who does. This guy! Paul has been here. lf we help him catch the snake, he'll get us out. And that is common freaking sense. Come on, Gary, this isn't you! What did he do to you? Think of the money. lmagine filming something like this for the first time ever. - What else can we do? - l know what l'm doing. l'm gonna throw you two in the river! - l don't think so. - I didn't want this to happen. Let's go, Westridge. Occupy yourselves. Play cards. Nobody move! Gary, turn on the lights! Stop the boat. Buenas noches! - Come here, Westridge. - You'll get us killed! That's it, go for the eyes! Blind it! Fishing for snakes! He's crazy! - Just let it go. - Westridge, come here! Where is it? Don't move. l'll tranquillize it. Denise, get up here! Gary, help me! - Get up here! - Grab her, man! lt's in the water. Gary, give me your hand. lt's no good to me dead. Gary! Oh God! May the souls of the faithful departed ... ... through the mercy of God rest in peace. - Westridge! - How dare you! lt was you who brought that snake. You brought the devil. There's a devil inside everyone. Horrible ... Westridge. Take my gear up to the pilot house. - l'm not your bloody poodle. - What? - You presume to order me about? - Presume? How you like l presume to throw you in the river? - Take it upstairs. - Thank you. Everyone else, don't move. Get back. Terri, let's talk. You want something? l just want to talk to you. I was thinking about the myth. You know, this film was supposed to be my big break. And it's turned out to be a big disaster. So l was just thinking - - that maybe l could film you capturing the snake. And then it wouldn't have all been for nothing. lt could be dangerous. l know. But you'd be there to protect us. You need protection? lt's been a long time ... since l had a woman. You think l'm stupid? l'm not stupid! - Shall l hit him again? - Throw him in the river! - l'm afraid l'd rather enjoy it. - Just tie him up! This was all one big setup, huh? Mateo ... you, stranded ... the shipwrecked boat ... - Your route to the hospital ... - You forgot the wasp. What you do is not so hard. l can trap a snake, too. As smart as you are, you can survive without me. We're gonna be home soon, okay? l can't believe how good you're doing. Hang in there, baby. - ls it hard to drive? - No. Like a Cadillac Fleetwood. l'll give you a driving lesson. Black knobs: Forward and back. Red knobs: Fast and slow. Wheel: left and right. Any trouble, turn off the ignition. Take it for a spin. Take us back to civilisation. - Shit, no problem! - Take us back to ... - Crisp sheets and hot showers. - The play-offs and a six-pack! - Golf, and a gin and tonic. - L.A. traffic and mobile phones. Don't start! The waterfall. A beautiful sight, baby bird. - The legend was right. - What is this place? Oh dear. lt's absolutely beautiful. - What the hell was that? - l think we hit the bottom. Turn the wheel hard over left. Reverse. Shut it down. - We got to winch ourselves loose. - And get in the water? We ain't got much choice. We'll wrap a rope around that tree. You wrap a rope around thattree. Or we're stuck here forever. - We've got to make it quick. - l rather hoped l'd done my bit. - That's our rope. - There's just enough. Take this and get it around that trunk, so it's secure. Last time l tried this, l had to pick leeches off my scrotum. Aren't you going to pray? Never look in the eyes of those you kilI. They will haunt you forever. l know. l firmly resolve ... ... with help and grace to confess my sins ... ... and amend my life. Amen! Sanctus ... sanctus ... ... baby bird. Hurry up. Back on the boat. Now! - Go! - Christ! Get on the boat. Go on, hurry! Over here, you fat-ass bastard! Get up on the rocks. lt's coming. Go get the gun. Get it! Hurry up! - Westridge, keep going! - Danny, watch out! Move your arm! Danny! Westridge! Come on, hurry up! l'm caught. Hurry up. Danny, hold on! You killed my warrior snake. Get up. The dart. The tranquillizer's working. Get him! Damn, the dart came out his back. Come on, almost there. Baby ..? He's lost consciousness again. l'll try to get us out. The tree knocked us loose. Terri, look. - They might have some fuel. - Let's check it out. - Need some help? - No, l'm cool. l don't even want to know what happened here. l hope they got some fuel. Damn! Those drums ... Could be fuel. A snake skin. - There's plenty of fuel in here. - Welcome! Time to wake up. - Monkey blood. - l'm gonna kill you, Sarone! Don't get me upset. See this? Human bones. That's how it comes out. Ashes to ashes ... Shit, look! Come on. Go! Gotcha! Get loose. Let's get out! Just go! Run! lt's coming for you. Just go! Run! lt's coming for you. Danny, where are you? - lt's a nest. - l'll go up the smokestack. - No, l've got the legs. - We can trap it there. Go! - Can you climb out? - l can use the rope. Hurry, l think l can blow him up. - l'm going to light it. - Go ahead, l'm at the top. Danny! - Get out, the fuse is lit. - Danny, wait! Hit the hinges. - Jump! - l can't, it's too high. l got you. Come on. Did we get him? We got him. You all right? We should get the fuel, so we can get out of here. Come on. Bitch. Let's get out of here. Miss Flores ... You're a mess. l found another one. Let me see that. Shirishama. - Sarone was right. - Danny! Damn ... l'll get the camera. - Roll film! - Camera rolling.