Haunted Habitat

Scene I: Central Park Zoo - Closing Time
''The episode opens on the Central Park Zoo at closing time. Camera pans through Zoo.''

Scene II: Chimp Habitat
''Mason and Phil sleeping. Mason is snoring and Phil is sign-languaging "zzzz".''

Scene III: Lemur Habitat
''The lemurs sleeping. King Julien is sleeping on a chair, Maurice is sleeping by his side, and Mort is sleeping, hugging Julien's feet. Julien, in his sleep, pushes Mort away''.

Scene IV: Penguin Habitat -- HQ
The penguins are sleeping in their bunks- Skipper on top, Private on second, Kowalski on third, and Rico on the bottom.

Skipper: Men, rollover, on my mark... (yawns) Now.

''They do so. Someone suddenly screams in fear. The penguins roll back, now wide awake. They jumped out of their bunks, and into their combat positions.''

Skipper: Code Red.

Skipper kicks the food dish, that covers the entrance to their HQ.

Scene V: Penguin Habitat -- Up top
Skipper jumps out, followed by Kowalski, Rico, and Private.

Scene VI: En-route to Otter Habitat
They jumped into the Otter Habitat.

Scene VII: Otter Habitat - Internal
''They jumped into the entrance and with flashlights jumped inside yelling, "Hi-yah!" and startle Marlene.''

Marlene: What?!

Skipper: Kowalski, analysis.

Kowalski: Subject: Marlene. Species: Otter. Sound...

''Rico imitates the scream. Skipper and Privates shone their flashlights on Marlene and Kowalski takes notes on his clipboard.''

Marlene: OK, I can explain the scream.

Skipper: Private, what do you make of the victim's scream?

Private: I don't know Skipper. Perhaps she had a fright.

Skipper: Interesting theory, but how can we prove it?

Private: Marlene, did you have a fright, then?

Marlene: Uh, yes.

Kowalski: Mm-hm.

Marlene: But, uh, I'm fine now, so you guys can go back to sleep. Night-night.

Skipper: We can't just leave a helpless victim in her time of need.

Marlene: Who's a helpless victim?

The lemurs walk in the habitat.

King Julien: What is all the commotion? I was having a dream where I'm the last mammal on Earth.

Mort: Was I in it?

King Julien: Yes, but you were roadkill.

Mort: But I was in it!

Skipper: Otter hysteria. Marlene probably saw her own shadow.

''Skipper shines his flashlight at Marlene, showing her shadow with ears and and horn; but it turned out to be Rico, using his flippers as the ears and his Mohawk the horn. Rico smiles, chuckling and Marlene glances at him angrily.''

King Julien: Six more weeks of winter, everyone!

Kowalski continues taking notes on his clipboard.

Marlene: A weird noise woke me up. Okay? That's all. I'm not a hysterical, helpless victim and we don;t need to turn this into some kind of commando operation.

Skipper: Private, recon.

Private looks around.

Skipper: Kowalski, perimeter check.

''Kowalski has headphones on with a tracking device. Marlene groans, shaking her head as Kowalski searches ahead.''

Kowalski: Scanning for weird noises, Skipper.

''Pause. Kowalski hears a rumble.''

Kowalski: Wait. I'm getting something.

''Turns out to be Rico. When Kowalski pushes his gadget on Rico's stomach, he belches, disgusting Kowalski. Private tries to comfort Marlene.''

Private: Perhaps it was just a bad dream?

Marlene: No, no, this was real and real loud. It was like... like a ghostly moan.

Mort: Oh no. What if- What if- What if it was a ghost?

''Mort holds onto Julien's feet. Julien shakes him off''

King Julien: Then you can touch the ghost's feet!

''A crash sound is heard off-screen. Kowalski looks through his clipboard.''

Kowalski: Rumor has it that the previous occupant of this habitat did disappear...

Private: Under mysterious circumstances.

Marlene: (sighs) He was transferred to Toledo.

Mort: Toledo?

''Close in on Rico, Julien, a little of Maurice, Kowalski, and Mort, who is trembling. Skipper shines a flashlight on Mort.''

Skipper: Ohio.

Mort screams and runs, but hits the wall.

King Julien: As king, it it in my power to command any and all spooky spirits to get the heck out. Do it, Maurice!

Maurice: OK. How?

King Julien: (sigh) Oh, Maurice. What am I going to... Fine. This will require a tremendous amount of dancing skill. Look out!

Maurice pushes Skipper and Rico aside.

Maurice: Give him some room folks. (aside) Trust me.

''Julien does a couple of stretching moves. Then Mort turns the flashlight on, which shone on his face. Julien hops over to the light and does a dance. (see: Spirits Of the Night video)''

King Julien: Oh, spirits of the night, who may or may not bite, you bring the otter fright. You bring the otter fright, though you are out of sight.

Maurice is beating drums and Julien chants and dances with a staff with a tennis ball on it.

King Julien: Go away, go away.

Maurice: Go way, away.

King Julien: I say don't stay.

Maurice: I say don't stay.

King Julien: Go away, go away.

Maurice: Go way, away.

King Julien: I say don't stay.

Maurice: I say don't stay.

Skipper sighs in annoyance.

King Julien: Go away, go away.

Maurice: Ha-ha, go way, away.

King Julien: I say don't stay.

Maurice: I say don't stay.

King Julien: Go away, go away.

The song continues.

Skipper: Come on, men.

King Julien: I say don't stay.

Skipper: Let's leave this to the tiny dancer and get us some shut-eye.

The penguins leave and Private was the last to leave.

King Julien: My ghost mojo is working. Can you feel it.

Scene VIII: Penguin HQ
Private is sitting in his bunk.

Private: Do you suppose Julien's singing really scared away the ghost?

The top bunk is empty.

Private: Skipper?

Skipper is near the periscope with his mug and fish.

Skipper: Sempra alerta, Private.

''After Skipper takes a sip, a scream is heard. It's Marlene.''

Skipper: Our turn, boys. Commence Operation: Our Turn!

Scene IX: Otter Habitat - Interior
''The penguins arrived at Marlene's home. Kowalski has his headphones, his tracking device, and a reading chart, that looks like a radar dish.''

Skipper: Talk to me, Kowalski.

Kowalski: This readings are off the charts!

Skipper: Well, get bigger charts; taken out of petty cash.

Marlene: Do you ever knock, or...

Kowalski: Such pleasantries will only slow us down.

Private: We do pride ourselves in our rapid response.

Marlene: Okay, yes I heard the ghost again. Yes, I screamed again. No, 

She pushes Kowalski and Private.

Marlene: I don't need you guys on guard duty.

The Lemurs enter and Julien chuckles.

King Julien: Obviously, this is a new ghost, since the old ghost was just eliminated by me, your king.

Skipper: Your little song and dance did BUPKIS!

King Julien: Oh, and what did you do?

Julien flicks Skipper on the beak.

King Julien: Double bupkis. So, shut up.

Skipper: Rico.

Rico takes out a stick of dynamite with a lit fuse out of his mouth.

Skipper: I meant see them out. It's penguin time.

Rico groans, putting the fuse, then takes a flashlight out of his mouth, and shows them the exit, and they do.

King Julien: Fine. Have at it. You will come back begging and I will say, mmm, "Maybe I help, but maybe not."

Julien exits.

Scene X: Otter Habitat - Hours later
Marlene is sleeping, Kowalski, Rico, and Private are sleeping on popcorn bags, and Skipper makes a log on a tape recorder.

Skipper: Skipper's log. 0200 hours. All is quiet. Little too quiet. The temptation of warm, soft slumber. It's also too much to bear.

''He falls asleep on the recorder until snoring in heard. Skipper wakes up and the other penguins woke up and got into their combat stances saying "Hi-yah!" Skipper pushes the black button to record the snoring. The snoring came from Marlene. Skipper walks to her.''

Skipper: Marlene.

The other penguins come to their sides.

Skipper: Marlene. Marlene!

Marlene: (waking up) AAAAAHH!!

Skipper: At ease, Marlene. At ease.

Marlene: (sighs in relief) Hoo. I was dreaming of screaming. Huh. Weird.

Kowalski: It appears that the ghostly death rattle is coming from your own respiratory system.

Marlene: Oh, well, yeah, of course. Can somebody just spit it out in English?

Rico lays on his back and demonstrates the snoring.

Marlene: Snoring? But, I don't snore.

Skipper pushes the blue button of the recorder to play the snoring and Rico gets up.

Skipper: Mystery solved. You spooked yourself.

Marlene: That's not the scary sound.

Skipper: Oh come on. It's bloodcurdling.

Just then, a deep moaning sound is heard and Marlene trembles in fear.

Marlene: That's the sound!

''Skipper pushes the black button. Kowalski, with his headphones and tracking device, looks at the rug.''

Kowalski: The ghostly moan appears to be coming from down here.

Rico pulls the rug away, revealing a manhole cover.

Private: From the sewer? Eww!

Skipper tries to pull the cover open, but no success.

Skipper: No dice. It's knock-knock time, Rico.

Rico spat out a stick of dynamite, with a lit fuse, into Skipper's flipper.

Marlene: Isn't that kind of, um, extreme?

Skipper: No.

He drops the stick through the cover.

Skipper: Two sticks of dynamite would be extreme. This would just let the specter know we mean business.

''The dynamite explodes, sending the cover up to the ceiling. The penguins and Marlene emerged from a rock. Skipper went to the hole, holds out the recorder, and Marlene walks to him with a flashlight.''

Marlene: Anything?

Skipper: Negatory. Nada. Zippo.

The cover starts to slip off.

Marlene: I'm telling you, there is something...

The cover falls on Skipper and Marlene, knocking them in the hole.

Private: Skipper!

Scene XI: Sewer
''Skipper and Marlene fell into the waters. Marlene swims to Skipper, who is unconscious, and puts his flippers out for a stance. Marlene grabs Skipper, and brings him to surface and tosses the flashlight and the recorder. Marlene gets out and she pushes Skipper's stomach. Water came out of his beak. He coughs and looks at Marlene dazed.''

Skipper: (dazed) Are you my mommy?

Marlene: Oh, Skipper, are you okay?

She shines the flashlight in his face and Skipper snaps out of it.

Skipper: Never better.

He picks up the recorder.

Skipper: Skipper's log. Through mysterious means, I've escaped a watery doom.

Marlene: It wasn't mysterious. It was me.

Skipper: Marlene, please. The Skipper's log is no place for flights of fancy.

Marlene growls.

Skipper: I have entered the mysterious realm of the specter.

A toilet flush is heard.

Marlene: It's the sewer.

Skipper: Haunted sewer? Kowalski, give me options.

They realize that they are alone.

Scene XII: Otter Habitat - Internal
Back at Marlene's habitat, the other penguins are wondering what to do.

Kowalski: I've, uh, come up with options. Anybody want to hear them?

Rico shrugs, okay.

Private: Okay, why not?

Scene XIII: Sewer
Skipper gets into combat position.

Skipper: It's just you and me, Marlene.

Marlene goes ahead with the flashlight.

Marlene: I say we do some recon. I'll take point.

Skipper: But, I usually take point.

He sees her ahead.

Skipper: Hey, wait up!

''He catches up, recorder in his wing. Suddenly, a splash is heard.''

Marlene: (gasps) What was that?

The flashlight flickers out and dies.

Marlene: Oh, okay, that's just great.

''Marlene tries to get the flashlight to work. Skipper hands her the recorder.''

Skipper: Here. You take the recorder.

He takes the flashlight.

Skipper: Let me see that flashlight. Sometimes it just requires the magic touch.

Skipper pounds the flashlight on the ground and it flashes.

Skipper: There we go.

Then the light goes out.

Skipper: Ah, who needs it?

He throws the flashlight away.

Skipper: It's just giving away our position to the enemy.

Marlene: A-about that enemy, um, I'm starting to think it's not a ghost.

Skipper: And why is that?

''Marlene turns him around to see a gigantic creature with a pair of unfriendly eyes. The creature heads toward them.''

Skipper: By golly, you're right. That's no ghost. Clearly, that's some sort of humongous SEWER MONSTER!! RETREAT!

''Marlene grabs onto the pipe and grabs Skipper, and pulls him up, dodging the creature. They let go. Skipper lands on the blue button, playing Marlene's snoring. The creature moans and jumps into the water. Marlene turns it off and they see the creature.''

Skipper: Looks like some kind of monster from the darkest abyss.

''The monster jumps out of the water. Skipper and Marlene scream, holding onto each other. It heads straight for them!''

Skipper: Back up. I'm gonna need a perimeter.

''Skipper walks to the beast. Marlene looks at the creature, then the recorder. She pushes the play button to start the snoring and the creature moans and groans.''

Marlene: It's afraid! Afraid of me?

Marlene grabs the recorder and heads toward it.

Skipper: Marlene, what are you doing?!

''Marlene holds out the recorder and the beast is still moaning and groaning. Skipper goes to Marlene's side with the flashlight. He smacks it, turning the light on.''

Skipper: Huh?

''The flashlight shines to reveal a sewer alligator. He screams in fright.''

Alligator: Oh, guys, guys. Help me! Save me from the monster!

Skipper turns the recorder off.

Skipper: Well, what do you know? He's just a gator.

Marlene: Yeah. Who makes monster sounds!

Alligator: No. Nuh-uh. The monster is all...

Roger imitates Marlene's snoring.

Alligator: Oh, it's terri- It's horri- I'm just, oh!

Skipper: Back up a minute, uh...

Roger: Uh, it's Roger.

Skipper: Right. Roger, do you hear this "monster", around the same time, every night?

Roger: Oooh. How'd you know?

Skipper: From up above.

Roger: Yes! You heard it too?

Skipper: Roger that, Roger. I want you to meet your monster, also known as, Marlene.

''Skipper pushes the play button, that started the snoring. Roger is scared.''

Roger: Oooooh! That's it! AH! That's the monster!

Skipper turns off the recorder.

Skipper: At ease, Roger. She's actually very nice.

All of a sudden, a string lassoed up Roger's snout, tail, and legs, It turns out to be Rico, Kowalski, and Private doing the job.

Skipper: Oooh, aren't you boys tardy to the party. Marlene and I had the situation under control.

The two smiled at each other.

Scene XIV: Otter Habitat - Interior
Later, the penguins, Marlene, and Roger are at Marlene's home, Roger tells them his life story.

Roger: So, the Friedman's youngest, Benny, picks me up on vacation in Florida.

Private: Uh-huh.

Roger: They were visiting their nanny in Tampa, but that's neither here or there.

Private: Uh-huh.

Roger: I was just a baby at the time, but you know you change, you grow. Next thing you know, you're flushed down the toilet.

Kowalski: Fascinating!

Roger: Actually, it's not as bad as you think.

Kowalski goes to Skipper's side.

Kowalski: Lucky break you went down there to rescue Marlene, isn't it, Skipper?

Skipper: Actually, Kowalski, I didn't so much rescue Marlene as...

Marlene: (glances a look) Hmm?

Skipper: Well let's just say, next time I find myself caught in the swirling currents of raw sewage, I hope that Marlene is at my side.

''Skipper smiles at her; Kowalski just stared curiously. Marlene puts on her cute face and smiles back sweetly.''

Marlene: Awww. That's so sweet.

Then she glances that look again.

Marlene: I think.

Scene XV: Otter Habitat - External
''The lemurs are outside. Mort holds onto Julien's hand.''

Mort: But I don't want to go into the haunted place!

Julien pulls Mort up as Roger exits Marlene's home.

King Julien: Be brave, Mort.

He swings him down, letting Mort go of his grip of his hand.

King Julien: Like me.

Roger: Hello.

King Julien: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

''The lemurs run, screaming. Skipper is at Roger's side.''

Roger: What's the matter with the guy in the funny hat?

Skipper: I wish I knew, Roger.

The camera zooms-out.

Skipper: I wish I knew.

The camera shows the full moon and the episode ends.