Garfield Gets Real

Oh, man, that's too much energy to get back up. Oh, boy, gosh. Okay... I hate Mondays. Hot, hot, hot. Good morning, Odie. Are you hungry, boy? Attaboy. Well, breakfast is nearly ready. We'll eat as soon as I roust Mr. Grumpy. Garfield. Breakfast. Well, what do you know? I guess every cloud does have a silver lining. Oh, no. Oh, my. Good morning, Garfield. Good morning? Good morning? Jon. It's Monday. Monday is the armpit of the week. It's like a black hole on the calendar... ...that just sucks all the joy out of your entire being. Lighten up, Garfield. You're the star of a comic strip. Work is a big part of the problem. Well, you'd better cheer up fast, pal... ...because we leave for work in 20 minutes. I could just cry. Good morning. Hey, stop. Hello there. There they are. - Morning, guys. - Why don't you sit in the back, Odie? Good morning, Garfield. Good morning, Arlene. Hey, why don't you sit up here with me? Hey, Garfield. Get in the back, Nermal. L'll just sit in back. Buckle up, kids. It's gonna be a long drive. Hey, Garfield, guess what day it is today. I know what day it is, Nermal. Oh, come on, guess. - Nermal. - I guess you don't know. It's Monday. It's what? Monday. And you hate Mondays M to the "ondays" You hate them You hate them, yeah Not as much as I hate you, Nermal. Hey, come on, we're gonna be late for school. - Hey, Jack. - Howdy. - Those three scenes are dumb there. - I like them. I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse. Good morning, Billy Bear. Hey, that's my name. Don't wear it out. - How are you, Randy Rabbit? - Jon, I'm fantastic. Oh, man, here we go. Zelda, Zelda, Zelda, how's my favorite catering wench today? What's your poison du jour? Cat creole. Care for some? You ever thought of just letting your hair down? L'll bet you'd be a heartbreaker, baby cakes. Walter, please. Sorry, dear. Why must you always be fiddling with things? I mean, why can't you just sit quietly like a good husband? Yes, dear. - Yo, Wally. - Hey, Garfield. So, what's the world's greatest inventor up to today? Watch. I thought I had another cookie. Hey, where can I get one of those, Wally? L'll put you on the list. Contrary to popular belief, nose blowing is an art. Let me demonstrate. The toot. Not bad. Oh, man. I gotta get out of this place. A whoopee cushion. I love when he does that. - Thanks. - Live it up, pal. And, my fave, the party blowout. There she blows. You are disgusting. Now you're getting it. Walter, let's go. Yes, dear. Look. Rest my case. Here comes Betty. Everybody act naturally. - Oh, okay. - Okay. Good morning, everyone. - Hi, Betty. - Morning. Oh, my heavens. Oh, Randy. Oh, my dear. Oh, I didn't realize. Oh, sweetheart, I'm so, so sorry. You. That was a good one, guys. Are you okay, Garfield? You seem to be depressed. I prefer to think of it as pensive. Well, if pensive means being a butt, then l'll go with that. I'm just tired of doing the comic strip. Going through the same routine every day. Hearing the same tired jokes every day, every day. Oh, man. A change of scenery would be wonderful. - I need a break. - A break from me? This isn't about you, Arlene. It's about me. Did you ever notice it's always about you? - A few more to go. - Okay. Hey, I meant to you give this. Why, Garfield, how sweet. Oh, and here I am being all paranoid. Paranoia's good. It's, you know, it's good to... Nobody should take a relationship for granted. Monday roughs. How about that, time to go to work. Here you go, Betty. - Oh, thank you. - Any time. The scripts are here, people. We have a comics page to get out. Tempus fugit, people. Today I need Garfield and Odie. Are you sure I'm not in the script? Did I ask for Nermal to step forward? Keith, did the name Nermal escape my lips? I don't think so. There you go. I don't think so. Oh, prop boy. - Yes, you called, sir? - The script calls for a bone. A bone, let's see. L'll be back in one second. Hey, don't get too attached to that bone, dog. It's the official property of the Prop Department. Can Jon do my lines today? I need a nap. How about, the sooner you do what I tell you to do... ...the sooner you get to take a nap? Why do I put up with this? All right, let's shoot, people. Eli. Bring up the park set. You got it. Are we ready to shoot? Where is Garfield? Garfield. Get over here. I really need a break. Places, people. Action. Odie and I enjoy each other's company. Take it. - Bring up the roller coaster set. - Coming up. Action. Whether it's going to an amusement park: Take it. - Bring up the kitchen set. - Yes, sir. Action. Or just getting together for kicks. Take it. Perfect. That's a wrap on Garfield. Keep moving people, we have two more strips to do. What's up, dog? You're in love with the bone. And you don't want the prop boy to take the bone back. What would a smart dog do with that bone? A smart dog would hide it from the prop boy. Good luck. Fishing is stupid, Billy. You won't say that come dinnertime, Randy. Take it. - Why? What are we having for dinner? - Take it. - Pizza. - We're fishing for pizza. Take it. Perfect. Let's get everything ready for the Stegman's. Was that good for you? I really felt I was the shark that time. Yes, kid, you were marvelous, absolutely marvelous. Keep it moving, people. Yeah. Okay, dog, where's my prop bone? I don't know. I am keeping an eye on you, dog. - Hey, Eli. - Hey, Garfield. Would you mind if I just slip under your control station for a little nap? - Help yourself. - Thanks. Maybe a nap will put you in a better mood. I'm in a rut, Eli. I'm just tired of this job. I'm tired of doing the same thing over and over, I need a change. Garfield. Don't touch that. A lot of people would kill to do what you do. You have adoring fans. You're a celebrity, man. Wow, it must be nice. What's nice? Sitting around pushing buttons all day. Why do I even talk to you? Hey, Bonita, why did the existential chicken cross the road? Take it. An existential chicken wouldn't have to cross the road... ...if he didn't perceive a road, Walter. Take it. Now be a good boy and take out the trash. I don't perceive any trash, Bonita. Take it. Perfect. That's a wrap, people. Put it to bed and print it, Betty. Aye, aye, captain. Right away, sir. Odie and I enjoy each other's company. Whether it's going to an amusement park... ...or just getting together for kicks. Attention, Eli. Attention, Eli. The comic strips are ready for transmission. I repeat, the comic strips are ready for transmission. Betty, why do you use the intercom? Well, because it's kind of neat, that's why, Eli. All right, let's get the screen ready. It's show time. Smells good, sweetie. Kids, breakfast. And the funnies are here. Yay! All right, let's see what's going on in the comics. Let's watch someone read the comics. Billy Bear says, "Pizza." "We're fishing for pizza?" And what does Billy Bear say? You got it, Rusty. What a great kid. He's one of my biggest fans. Give me a break. Hey, Eli. Show us some more newspapers. Yeah. Change the channel. Here you go. Whoa, back it up. Eli, look over at the hot dogs and zoom in. You got it, Garfield. That is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. Oh, hello, little hot dogs. Oh, yeah, that's beautiful. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on over. Oh, boy. Yummy. The real world. Hey. Hey, wha...? What's going...? Wait, wait, there must be something... Hey, that's my bone. Great. Good gracious. What's going on? Step away from the patch in the screen, Odie. Everybody stay away from the patch in the screen... ...or you'll end up in the real world with no way back, like Odie's bone. The real world. That's the change I need. Prop boy. Bring me the special tape. Okay, let's see. Special tape, just a second. What's happening? What's wrong? You better come back. Garfield. Garfield. Garfield. I'm in the real world. Look, I'm a real cat. This is the real deal. Oh, man, this is just the change I needed. Oh, yes. What is that smell? Yeah. Get out of here, you crazy cat. Come on, get out of here. I know you people in the real world can't understand what I'm saying but... - I love you, man. - Crazy cat. This is great. No more boring job at the comic, no more slobbering dog to bug me. I'm free to do whatever I want. Here's to my new life. I don't believe it. My cat, gone. Eli, what just happened? All right. Everybody, listen up. This screen separates the comic world from the real world. The comic world is pressurized like an airplane. If you get sucked into the real world, there's no way back. Special tape. Are there any questions? Get away from there. - Didn't you just hear what I said? - Help. Everybody stay away from the patch. - Got it? - You don't need to tell me twice. Give me that special tape. I hope you've all learned your lesson. I think Garfield learned his lesson. Garfield's just getting started on his lesson. My bone. My bone. My bone. Odie? Oh, no, you don't. You're not gonna ruin my new life. You can go right back where you came from. See you in the funny papers, Odie. That didn't work. There must be an easier way of sending you back, Odie. Where are you going, Arlene? I'm going to join Garfield. Oh, no, you're not. We have a strip to do, lady. Nermal's right. This is where we belong. Garfield too. He's just a little confused right now. And if you stay, Garfield will have one more reason to find a way back. Oh, he'd better come back. Well, Odie, it looks like I'm stuck with you. Let's find some real food to eat. Eli, we lost them. Don't worry, it'll just take me a second to find them. There we go. Come on, Odie. We should have found a buffet by now. This is the buffet, pal. Wh...? A talking trash can. I didn't know they had those in the real world. I ain't no trash can, fella. You must not be from this neighborhood. I'm not from this world. I'm Garfield the cat, you know, from the comic strip? Right. And your dog friend there must be Odie. Hey, Odie. A fan. Looks like Odie's made some new friends. Well, I'm Shecky. Glad to meet you, Shecky. So when do they serve dinner around here? How are we going to have a funny comic strip without our star? We need a funny cat. Hey, hey, hey. What am I? Chopped liver? First, we'll change the name of the strip to Nermal. The hilarious adventures of a wacky kitten. And his slow-witted but well-meaning sidekick, Arlene. What do you say? Let me at him. L'll kill him. I'm gonna kill him. Arlene, chill, babe. Just trying to help. Me and some buddies are going to dinner and a show. - Wanna come? - Yeah, sure. Just as soon as I help Odie out of this situation. Hey, Odie. Throw me the bone. There's more than one way to skin a dog. Now, that's what I call a calorie burner. Here you go, Odie. The real world is certainly more exciting than the comic world. Sure, whatever. Hey, the show begins soon. Sounds good. Lead on, Mr. Shecky. Here we are, gentlemen. Hey, bloody twit. This is Waldo. He's not as bright as he looks. Thank you. And this is Sheila. Cheers, lads. I'd want her covering my back in any catfight. Guys, this is Garfield and Odie. You know, the comic strip characters? Wink, wink. I love you, guys. I read you all the time. Just mostly, I look at the pictures, you know. Why, thank you. Hello, hello. You're kind of cute, darling. What? You want cute, lady? L'll give you cute. Welcome to Club Shecky. This is where we come for dinner and a show. We put on a show and people throw dinner at us. This I gotta see. Allow me to demonstrate. Okay, Waldo, this course is yours. Goody, goody. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Our first performer this evening is none other than the man himself. For crying out loud. Please welcome Shecky. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, it's great to be back at Club Shecky. A funny thing happened on the way to the fence tonight... ...I was run over by a milk truck. That's the first time the drinks were ever on me. Go on. Thank you. Thank you. For my first number... Hey. Be quiet. We're trying to sleep up here. - I'd like to sing something from my latest album. Shut up, you stupid cat. Get ready, here comes dinner. It goes something like this. You only got me when you got me You only squeeze me When you squeeze me Hey, knock it off. Shut up. Knock it off. Thank you. Thank you. I love you all. Excuse me. - Our next act will be out momentarily. - Over here. How did we do, Waldo? We did great. We got a bone with a little turkey on it. There's a sardine left in this can. All kinds of good stuff. - Okay, Garfield, it's your... - Out of my way, amateur. There are a couple of things you really should know. Shecky, let's not keep my fans waiting. Okay, break a leg. Our next performer is a comic's comic. Please put your paws together for Garfield. Good evening, ladies and... You gotta bob and weave out there, Garfield. A moving target is harder to hit. Hey, I know how to handle a rowdy crowd. A smaller target would be harder to hit too. As I was saying, good ev... I'm seriously considering retiring from showbiz. It's dinnertime. Hey, you know, I think you're kind of cute too. What? Oh, Garfield, really? Oh, yeah. Say, are you gonna finish that fish? Touch it and l'll break your arm, lover boy. Just like a man. He's truer to his stomach than he is to me. Well, we're home. - See you, mates. - Good night, guys. - Night, Sheila. - Night. Got plenty of room. You'll have to excuse the mess. I gave the cleaning lady the week off. Oh, and the elevator is temporarily out of service. Watch out for that step. You mean this step. Yeah, that's the one. I know it's a bit of a climb, but the view is worth it. Tell that to my legs and my back and my feet and my... Nice. A room with a view, and well ventilated too. My dump is your dump. You wouldn't happen to have anything to eat? Nope. Is that coffee? Probably, but it's been sitting there for a while. That's the way I like it. Yeah. What just happened? - What do you mean? - Your head. - What about it? - Never mind. I think I need to get some sleep. See you in the morning. Good night. There you go, buddy. Today was just our first day in the real world. Tomorrow will be a better day. You'll see. Well, great. Good night, Arlene. Good night, Garfield. Sleep well. Top of the morning to you, Garfield. - Hungry? - Is that a trick question? What say we go to the park for a little dumpster diving... ...before the trash collectors show up? That sounds good. Every time I think I've hit bottom, someone hands me a shovel. Hey, Odie. Let's see how the folks back home are faring with our strip. What? They're canceling my strip? They can't do that. This wasn 't supposed to happen. It's all your fault, traitor. Hey, the newspaper's having a contest to replace my strip. Hey, guys. I have an idea. Odie and l'll go to the newspaper and make sure they don't replace our strip. - What's he doing? - That is one crazy cat. All you guys have to do is figure out a way to get us back home. See you there. - We can do this, guys. - That's the spirit, Garfield. Good luck at the newspaper contest. - We're here for you, Garfield. - Yeah. Let's go, Odie. Odie? We're here to come up with a plan to get Garfield and Odie. Don't be afraid to speak up. Remember, there are no bad ideas. - Me, me, me. - Yes, Wally? What if we built a device, an interdimensional escape hatch... ...that would pass through the screen, equalize the pressure... You'll have to excuse Walter. He's given to flights of fancy. Walter, dear, your silly dreams for inventions... ...have never worked and they never will. Yes, dear. Okay, any more ideas? Anyone? Have a nice day. Done playing with our little friends, are we? Good. Now let's go tell the newspaper we're going home. This is it. Let's go, Odie. This is my comic strip, Dicky Dot. I think he's relevant, and quite humoresque. - Unlike you. - Next. I never get picked for anything. Let me guess. Siamese twins, right? - Right. - Right. - Funny. - Sad. - Funny, in a sad sort of way. - Take your ugly friend home. But he's not ugly. I wasn't talking to you. Next. This way, come on. Next. There they are. We just gotta get up there and show them we're back. Now what? Okay, so, like, this is really funny. Like, when people die, my guy, like, takes them away. - So, like, why don't you go away? - Next. What else have we got? - Good afternoon, folks. - Who are these guys? I don't see them on the list. See the resemblance? Hey, they do kind of look like them. That's because it is me. We are pleased to announce that we're ready to go back to work. What's with that dog's tongue? Must be some sort of glandular condition. Not a very dignified representative of the canine family. Hey, can a real cat do this? And that cat has one big belly on him. He would set a bad example for the overweight youth of our nation. - Can't have that. - Hold on. Hold on. We are the real Garfield and Odie. And to leave no doubt in your mind... ...we will now perform a classic gag from our comic strip. Odie, if you please. You know, folks, a day without kicking Odie off the table... ...is like a day without sunshine. That cat just kicked the dog off the table. Oh, the horror. How violent. Hey, lighten up, lady. Nobody really gets hurt in a comic strip, right, Odie? Sorry, pal, I forgot you can really get hurt in the real world. We've seen quite enough. - Did I mention we'll work for scale? - Next. - But you're making a big mistake. - Next. Oh, boy. They can't do that. This does not bode well. Sid, Bobby, Eric, Mike here. I have with me today a licensing phenomenon... ...destined to take the publishing biz by storm. Introducing, Hale and Hardy. We're toast. These boys are positive, appealing... ...and can generate massive licensing income for your newspaper. They're toast. These two can have your fat, lazy readers... ...dieting and exercising in no time flat. Imagine dieting with Hale and Hardy mineral water. Imagine exercising with... ...Hale and Hardy leotards. And Hale and Hardy dumbbells. In one of your franchised Hale and Hardy wellness centers. But are they funny? Well? What do you think? I think we have our new comic strip. Hale and Hardy. - I can't believe this is happening. - Oh, believe it, tubby. I just happen to have a contract right here. No, don't do it. That's me. Hold on a minute. Garfield was the best comic strip we ever had. I'm gonna give them one last chance. If the strip isn't back in the paper in 24 hours... ...we've got a deal with Hale and Hardy. No problemo. We'll see you tomorrow. Sid. You can't be serious. You don't honestly believe that cat and that dog... ...are really Garfield and Odie? At my age, nothing surprises me. Humor me. The Garfield strip has one more day to make it back. Yes, sir. You're the man, Sid. You're the man. - Thank you. - Way to go, Garfield. We're in the comics We're in the comics Back in the comics That strip is ours. Sorry "Muscles For Brains," but our strip is going back in the paper tomorrow. - We'll see about that. - Dog abuser. Losers. Come on, Odie. We gotta find a way back home. Comic world, here we come. On your mark. Get set. Go. - Bye-bye, guys. - They're not going anywhere. Leap. Okay. On your mark. Get set. Leap. Okay, I hope this works. Because if it doesn't, well, at least no one will doubt our courage... ...or our stupidity. We're out of here. That was close, Odie. Odie? Odie. Oh, no. It's not working. Nothing's working. Come on, Garfield, it's time to go. I gotta figure out a way to get back to the comic world. Well, my door is always open. Good luck getting back into the paper. - Yeah, good luck. - Cheers. Yeah. Luck's all I have left. Hello? Anybody home? Just us 'toons. I've tried everything I know to get back, but nothing works. I need some help here. I don't even know if you're watching this paper. Wait. Yes. Arlene, Eli, everybody. I'm sorry. I can 't believe I ever gave a thought to coming here. You know what? This isn 't the real world. Reality is where you heart is... ...and my heart is with the comics, with you guys. If there's a way back, I promise you, l'll find it. Good night, Garfield. Looks like you finally got it figured out, Garfield. Hey. Odie, I have an idea. Odie, hold up the paper. Eli, I hope you're watching because I need you to get to Wally. And hurry. There's no time to waste. Wally, come to the screen immediately. Wally, come to the screen. That was the most beautiful music I ever heard. Hey, kitty. Wally, are you there? Mostly. This could be our way back. What do you mean? Remember your concertina? The one you rigged to steal Bonita's cookies? What? Well, make a bigger one to rescue us. Put doors on each end and stretch it through the screen. Like this. Of course. It could work. That's brilliant. You stole my cookies. But I need materials. I need people with tools. My cookies? Come on, guys. We have a concertina to build. Well, Odie. It's out of our hands now. Oh, hey. Nice work on the arpeggios there. Bye. Tires. I need four tires. Tires. My car. I need all the folding doors you can find. Hey, Dagwood. Hey, Shecky. Did you give up on that crazy plan of yours? No, things are working out fine. We're just a little tired. There you go, puppy. We've had quite an adventure here in the real world... ...but tomorrow will be a better day. And we'll be back home and our strip will be back in the paper. For once you are right, kitty-cat. Tomorrow will be a better day... ...for us. Look, we are both laughing together. Too bad you can't help your strip. Yeah, but we see you are all tied up. We laugh in your face again. And tomorrow we are going to be on the comics page. We will be so funny, I find myself laughing already. - Look at me laughing. - We're laughing in your face. You won't get away with this. - Just watch us. - Let us now get out of this dump. - Yeah, let's. - Who is the losers now, losers? Yeah, losers. We are laughing at you. Losers. Who are those guys? Don't worry. We have a plan with the comic characters back home. - Knock it off, Garfield, this is serious. - No, really, they're gonna rescue us. Unless, of course, we die first. Let's see what Garfield's up to. What? Attention. Everyone to the screen. Everyone to the screen. This is an emergency. Hot. Hot. Somebody... Oh, no. I'm going through the screen. I don't care if I ever make it back. No, you're not. We're going to rescue them with Wally's machine. Right, Wally? Yeah, Wally. But it's not quite done. So let's finish it. But, I haven't tested it. I don't know if it works. There's no time for that now. You're the man, Wally. Me? Wally, you're gonna save the day. You're gonna be a hero. Me? A hero. Doors. I need two doors. I got it. Hi. Ladies and gentlemen... ...I present, The Bonitanator. We worked on it, but... You don't expect it to work, do you? You're about to find out. - Move the Bonitanator into position. - Okey-doke. Hold it there. Why did you name it the Bonitanator, Walter? Because the blade on the front reminds me of that big... ...honking nose of yours, dear. Now I have a job to do. And by the way, I did steal your cookies. Oh, Wally. You... You're so... So... Forceful. What are you doing? It's too dangerous to send you guys into the hotel. If the paper you go through burns up, there's no way back. I'm trying to find a safer paper out in the street. There we go. Anchor down the back end of the Bonitanator. Okay. I need three volunteers. I'm one. - I'm two. - I'm three. I'm three. This calls for a strong back, Arlene. Let's go, men. - I'm fat. - Push us through the screen. - Hurry up. - Take the right side. - Got it. - On the count of three. One. Two. Three. We made it. - Let's go, men. - Okay. - It's stuck. - Step aside. This is a job for a big bear. That's definitely not a comic door. Look. This way. Prepare to be rescued. I knew you guys would come. That's right. Hey, you're Billy Bear. That's my name, don't wear it out. You are cartoon characters. You're darn tooting. Hey, what's Snoopy really like? Hurry, guys. Hurry. - Oh, no. - Not good. Not good at all. Yeah, this way. What do we do now? Fear not gents... ...we can ride through the flames in this trash cart. It may be a little rusty, but I assure you, it is fireproof. Everybody climb in. My bone, my bone. My bone. Odie? Get back here. My bone. Here we go. Odie. My bone. Odie. Get the chandelier swinging, Odie. We'll grab you from the second-floor balcony. - Let's do this. - Heads down everyone. Here we go. Lean right, everybody. Lean right. Odie, grab my hand. Odie, you were supposed to let go of the chandelier. Garfield, swing to the main staircase. We'll grab you there. Come on, Odie, we've got a cart to catch. You know, this isn't working out as planned. Hold on, Odie. Need a lift? Come on. Everybody down. All clear. We did it. Oh, Wally. Oh, my hero. Look out comic world, here I come. Hello, everybody. Hey, Arlene. Hey. I love you, Garfield. Don't you ever leave me again. Boy, am I glad you don't hate me. It's good to be back. There's nothing to eat in these lousy trash cans. I'm so hungry I could cry. Don't be such a girly-dog. Look. That should be us. Yeah. And then we wouldn't be so hungry. - It's all your fault. - Your fault. - No, don't say it's my fault. - Yours. - It is your fault. Don't start with me. - Yours, yours. Your fault. Yo... Will you look at that. Shecky finally made it big in entertainment. Who's gonna sing for food on the fence now? How does this sound? Sheila and the Sheilettes. Got a ring, eh? You can wear a tight dress and sing backup for me. We're gonna starve. - Hit it, Eli. - You got it, Garfield. Party time. Hey, all right. Care to dance? You guys. Odie. Come back here with my bone.