Two Mice and a Baby

[PEOPLE SCREAMING] TELL ME AGAIN IT'S THE ONLY WAY. IT IS THE ONLY WAY. A CHILD NEEDS HIS PARENTS. A CHILD NEEDS TO SURVIVE. [BABY GURGLES] THIS SHIP WILL PROTECT HIM, TEACH HIM, AND NURTURE HIM. LIFE SUPPORT COMING ON-LINE. GUIDANCE SET FOR THE THIRD PLANET UNDER THE YELLOW SUN. THE NATIVES CALL IT EARTH. [EXPLOSION] AAH! LAUNCH! LAUNCH! PINKY, I'M PICKING UP A STRANGE SIGNAL. BUT, BRAIN, YOU ALWAYS TELL ME NEVER TO PICK UP STRANGE THINGS. AAH! THAT'S BECAUSE YOU PUT EVERYTHING IN YOUR MOUTH. LISTEN, PINKY, THAT'S A DISTRESS SIGNAL FROM AN ALIEN SPACECRAFT. IT MAY CONTAIN A VISITOR FROM ANOTHER PLANET. OH, MY. NARF! I SHALL HAVE TO GET THE GOOD DISHES OUT OF STORAGE. THEY'RE NOT COMING FOR TEA, PINKY. THEY'RE ABOUT TO CRASH. JUST IMAGINE ALL THE ADVANCED SCIENTIFIC EQUIPMENT WE'LL FIND ONBOARD. OOH! MAYBE THEY'LL HAVE A SALAD SPINNER. Brain: MILES AND MILES OF WHEAT FIELDS. SOMEHOW WE HAVE TO FIND THAT CRASH SITE. UMWOULD IT LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THAT, BRAIN? YES! AAH! APPARENTLY, NO ONE ELSE KNOWS ABOUT THIS YET, PINKY. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? MORE LOVELY SCRAP METAL FOR US. YAY! NARF! NOT JUST SCRAP METAL, BUT WHATEVER UNEARTHLY PAYLOAD AWAITS ONBOARD. [CRYING] A BABY? WAAH! AW! KOOTCHY, KOOTCHY. BOING! [LAUGHING] THERE MUST BE SOMETHING ELSE HERE: ADVANCED COMPUTERS, RAY GUNS, A PHASER, SOMETHING! NARF! OH, I LIKE PLAYING WITH THIS LITTLE FELLOW. HA HA HA! I'M SURE YOU TWO HAVE MUCH IN COMMON. WAIT A MINUTE. THIS CHILD IS NO MORE THAN A YEAR OLD, YET THE NEAREST STAR IS MORE THAN 4 LIGHT YEARS AWAY. THAT MEANS THIS SHIP IS CAPABLE OF FASTER THAN LIGHT TRAVEL. I HAVE TO GET THE ENGINE! IF I ATTACH THE WINCH TO THE NOSE CONE AND DRIVE FORWARD AT A 30 DEGREE ANGLE-- BRAIN. YES, PINKY? ARE SPACESHIPS VERY HEAVY? AS A RULE, YES. HE'S VERY STRONG THEN, ISN'T HE? AND HE FLIES! PINKY, IMAGINE WHAT WE COULD DO WITH A CHILD WITH THOSE POWERS. TEACH HIM TO CARRY ON A NEVER-ENDING BATTLE FOR TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN WAY? DON'T BE FOOLISH. THIS BABY IS OUR TICKET TO GLOBAL DOMINATION. COME, PINKY, WE'LL STOP FOR SUPPLIES AND THEN HEAD BACK TO THE LAB TO TRAIN HIM. HA HA! [GIGGLING] PERHAPS WE CAN FIND AN URGENT CARE FACILITY ALONG THE WAY. [GURGLING] THERE. BABY'S HAD ENOUGH. AAH! THAT MAKES TWO OF US. NOW, FOR OUR POSTPRANDIAL LESSON OH, I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, BRAIN, RIGHT AFTER HE'S EATEN AND ALL. NONSENSE, PINKY. THERE'S NO BETTER TIME. STOMACH IS FULL AND THE MIND IS EMPTY. NOW REPEAT AFTER ME. WORLD DOMINATION. WORLD DOMINATION. WAA-- WOR [BELCH] NO LESSONS AFTER MEALS. I'LL MAKE A NOTE. IF WE TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE DYNAMICS OBSERVED SO FAR, WHY, EVERYTHING THIS CHILD DOES WILL BE OF MASSIVE PROPORTIONS. UM, BRAIN? POIT! HE'S MADE A LITTLE BOO-BOO OF, UM MASSIVE PROPORTIONS. MOTHER OF MERCY! [GURGLING] WIPE. POWDER. SAFETY PIN. PERHAPS THESE FLASH CARDS FROM THE YOUNG DICTATORS COLLECTION WILL STIMULATE HIS INTEREST. THIS IS NAPOLEON, A MAN OF SMALL STATURE AND LARGE AMBITIONS. UH, EXCUSE ME. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU PAY ATTENTION. I ONLY WISH I HAD SOME OF THESE ADVANTAGES WHEN I WAS A CHILD. OH, LOOK AT THE PRETTY CARD, BABY. NARF! HA HA HA! BA BA BA BA! OH, WHAT A FUNNY TRICK. DOESN'T HE DO THE CUTEST THINGS, BRAIN? HE'S ADORABLE, PINKY. OOF! HEE HEE HEE! IN FACT, HE'S PAINFULLY ADORABLE. NOW, THE BIG YELLOW GIRAFFE IS THE INTERNATIONAL TRIBUNAL AT THE HAGUE. THEY SETTLE BORDER DISPUTES. BRRRR! [GIBBERISH] ISN'T HE CLEVER, BRAIN? HE WILL BE. NOW, UNDER MY RULE, THEIR FUNCTION WILL BE SUBSUMED BY THE OFFICE OF PRIME MINISTER PINKY. HEY! HEE HEE HEE! NO! YOU CAN COLOR LATER. WHOA! AAH! PERHAPS JUDICIAL PROTOCOL IS BETTER TAUGHT WITH PUPPETS. GOOD AFTERNOON. COULD YOU, BY CHANCE, POINT ME TOWARDS THE AIRPORT? [BABY CRYING] POIT! OH, I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK, BRAIN. THE BABY'S BEEN A LITTLE CRANKY LATELY. [SOFTLY] He's teething. [BABY YELLS AND CRIES] I TRIED TO ENTERTAIN HIM. I'VE PLAYED THE SINGING NUN ALBUM IT JUST UPSETS HIM. I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY KEEP THAT RECORD IN A LAB. IF YOU MUST TURN TO THE MASS MEDIA, PINKY, AT LEAST TRY SOME OF THE FINE PROGRAMS ON EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION. LOOK! IT'S EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE BIG ORANGE DINOSAUR BALONEY! TV: HUH HUH HUH! HUH HUH HUH HUH! IT'S A YUM YUM DOODLE DUM * GOSH, OH, GOLLY, DOODLE JOLLY DAY * HUH HUH HUH HUH! AAH! MAYBE HE'D PREFER THE FLYING NUN. WE'LL NEVER KNOW UNLESS WE FIND HIM. FUEL UP THE ATV. CHANCES ARE HE'S RETURNED TO THE SHIP, PINKY. IT'S THE ONLY OTHER PLACE HE KNOWS. WELL, MAYBE HE LEFT HIS PACIFIER IN THE GLOVE BOX. [BABY GURGLING] LISTEN, PINKY. THROUGH THERE. IT JUST DON'T SEEM RIGHT, A LITTLE BABY OUT HERE ALL BY HISSELF. WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, YOUNG'UN? WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED A CHILD, JONATHAN. WELL, IF THE SHERIFF CAN'T FIND HIS PARENTS, I SUPPOSE WE COULD TAKE CARE OF HIM. WE COULD CALL HIM CLARK AND RAISE HIM LIKE HE WAS OUR OWN. WHAT'LL WE DO, PINKY? THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T HAVE THE PROPER SCIENTIFIC EXPERTISE TO RAISE A CHILD. YOU KNOW, BRAIN, SISTER PATRIA ALWAYS SAYS, "IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, SET THEM FREE. " REALLY, PINKY? OH, YES. THEN PERHAPS SHE'S ALSO FAMILIAR WITH THE COROLLARY STATEMENT: IF SOMEONE TRASHES YOUR LAB, KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT, CAUSES YOU NOTHING BUT PAIN, AND THEN DESERTS YOU, GOOD RIDDANCE! STILL, I I HOPE THE LITTLE FELLA WILL BE ALL RIGHT. Pinky: THEY LOOK LIKE NICE PEOPLE, BRAIN. BYE-BYEDADA. BRAIN, HE CALLED YOU-- HUSH, PINKY. WE MUST STEEL OURSELVES AGAINST MAWKISH SENTIMENTALITY AND HEAD BACK TO THE LAB TO PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT. WHY, BRAIN? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT, MAKE A SCRAPBOOK? YES, PINKY. AND THEN TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN