Tough Man in the Tender Chicken

HE TOUGH MAN IN THE TENDER CHICKEN

ACT ONE

(At the Jeffersonian lab. Hodgins and Brennan are seen walking in from the lab entrance)

HODGINS: Had a feeling that my Melolonta melolonta might hatch this morning, so I came in the crack of dawn, and there they were. Lined up at the door.

BRENNAN: What? Your Melolonta melolonta?

HODGINS: No. The woodchucks.

(A group of girls in scout uniforms are seen standing in front of the lab platform)

BRENNAN: They appear to be little girls.

HODGINS: Yeah. Woodchucks are like girl scouts, only scientific and administered by the Jeffersonian. They brought in a dead body.

BRENNAN: A bunch of little girls brought a dead body here?

HODGINS: Woodchucks are very industrious mire mucks. (to the woodchucks) Okay! Now this is Dr Temperance Brennan. (the woodchucks starts clapping)

BRENNAN: (confused) Why are they applauding?

CAM: Apparently you're their role model.

HODGINS: I wanna know is why aren't they all freaked out or getting trauma counseling.

CAM: Because, of the type of children who idolizes Dr Brennan.

HODGINS: So they were eco-camping by the banks of the savage river.

CAM: These remains are completely saturated.

HODGINS: The girls fished the body out of the river and brought it to us.

BRENNAN: How?

WOODCHUCK GIRL #1: In our woodchuck bus.

CAM: Very impressive!

BRENNAN: I disagree. Those woodchucks disturbed a federal crime scene. The area should be secured, samples taken-

HODGINS: Yeah. They did all that. Water samples from where the body was found.

WOODCHUCK GIRL #2: Digital photographs of the entire area.

HODGINS: Plants, insects, soil samples; tagged with GPS coordinates. Now I know my soil samples, let me tell you; these ladies, they are pros!

CAM: (whispers to Brennan) Perhaps you should throw them a bone. (Brennan seems surprised) Not literally, metaphorically. After all, they were all very professional.

BRENNAN: (clears throat) Attention, woodchucks! You were thorough and insidious in your treatment of the body and the crime scene. (woodchucks clap) But next time, please leave the evidence where you found it and let the experienced professionals do their job.

(Woodchucks making sounds in protest)

WOODCHUCK GIRL #1: But we helped!

WOODCHUCK GIRL #2: You're mean!

(Woodchucks booing at Brennan)

BRENNAN: (to Cam and Hodgins) Their moods are capricious.

CAM: You couldn't have just let them have that one just go by.

BRENNAN: Then they'll never learn.

(Hodgins smile at Brennan while Cam is speechless)

(Cut to: Autopsy room. Wendell and Cam are examining the corpse.)

WENDELL: Ugh. What causes a corpse to smell like a fart?

CAM: Uh. A number of things. Compromised intestinal tract, methane, some mining processes, oiling gas refining, volcanoes?

WENDELL: Volcanoes? Awesome! Which of those is it this time?

CAM: Probably sulphur. Tissue samples indicate a high concentration of hydrogen sulphide.

WENDELL: X-rays indicate this is a middle aged male, between 170 to 190 cm tall. Skeleton is...pretty banged up.

CAM: Bouncing around savage river for 2 months can do that.

WENDELL: (looking at the x-rays) All the distal phalanges are missing from interphalangeal joints.

CAM: He's missing his fingers, what does that tell you?

WENDELL: Tells me it was the mobs sweeping off fingerprints.

CAM: That, very well may be. But what it tells me that you are going out to look for fingertips, in case the woodchucks missed them.

WENDELL: Body was found by woodchucks?

CAM: Take Hodgins. He'll explain.

(Cut to: Parking lot. Wendell and Hodgins are carrying their forensics kits)

HODGINS: Hydrogen sulphide?

WENDELL: Yeah. Guy's full of it.

HODGINS: So he smells basically like a fart.

WENDELL: Pretty strong to cover up the rotting corpse smell, right? Hey. Maybe somebody drenched in sulphur to deal with the dead body stench. Or maybe someone tried to put him in suspended animation, that would involve sulphides.

HODGINS: Whoa whoa whoa. You're referring to ultra secret military experiments who prolong life by inducing hibernation?

WENDELL: Uh. It's not ultra secret. The army is doing field trials. I got a cousin in Iraq, it may be saved his life.

HODGINS: It's not ultra secret?

WENDELL: The trouble with getting your infill from conspiracy nuts is that they never know when to turn it off.

HODGINS: Hey, you wait and see. We're going to find that our victim was tortured a little too enthusiastically when the government tried to bring him back to life.

WENDELL: Proving my point there, Hodgins. Totally proving my point. Hey, should we call the military possibility in to Booth?

HODGINS: Yeah! (toss phone at Wendell) Ooh, just leave out my torture theory.

(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab. Booth enters a room and greets Brennan & Angela)

BOOTH: Bones! So you got a face for my victim?

BRENNAN: Why are you here? I would've call.

BOOTH: (hands Angela a file) Well, uh, I thought Hodgins might have something on this whole suspension animated thing.

ANGELA: Hey, you listened to Hodgins?

BOOTH: I listen to Wendell.

BRENNAN: What is DARPA?

ANGELA: It's a department of defense agency. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Hodgins say they're into some pretty weird stuff. Like creating super-soliders who don't need sleep and can kill with their laser beam eyes.

BOOTH: I don't know about the laser beam eye thing, but they did have a master sergeant missing a few months ago.

BRENNAN: Was this sergeant involved in the hydrogen sulphide trials?

BOOTH: Well, they wouldn't confirm. But tell you what, they sounded nervous.

ANGELA: (flips through the file) There's no photograph in here.

BOOTH: DARPA doesn't give out photos. You give me a reconstruction though, I can show them that and tell them if we got their guy. What'd you have?

(Brennan in silence while looking at Angela; Angela finally speaks)

ANGELA: Okay. Before you freaked out, you should know that I double and triple check the measurements and indicators.

BOOTH: (chuckles) Look, I don't freak out.

BRENNAN: (looks at Booth) Some- Sometimes.

BOOTH: Can we just see the image, please? (face reconstruction shows a chicken-like visage; Booth laughs) Yeah. What's that supposed to be?

ANGELA: Half man, half chicken?

BOOTH: Come on!

BRENNAN: I believe this is fairly accurate.

BOOTH: So you want me to go ask the defense department if their experimented super soldier is half man, half chicken?

(Brennan smiles at Booth; while the screen cuts to the facial reconstruction image)

(Opening credits start playing)

ACT TWO

(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab. Autopsy room.)

HODGINS: DARPA created a chicken soldier?!

WENDELL: I do not see the United States military making chicken soldiers, eagle maybe.

HODGINS: Maybe that's why we couldn't find the so-called fingers. Cause they transformed into talons. (Brennan shoots Hodgins a look) Talons would be much better weapons.

CAM: Human remains in water tend to lose all their fingers and toes due to predation.

BRENNAN: But if I were to combine human and animal DNA with an idea to create a super soldier, I would go with a flatworm.

WENDELL: Why?

BRENNAN: Self-regeneration, obviously. (Wendell is amused)

CAM: People, let's break this down as though we're not in a comic book. No water in the sinuses or lungs, no pulmonary edema.

HODGINS: He didn't drown.

BRENNAN: Well his sinus cavity is abnormally large.

CAM: His whole sinus cavity is scarred, the septum's almost gone. Evidence of multiple constrictions of the arterial zypolexics. (Brennan inserts microscopic tube)

WENDELL: (on the screen) That is a lot of scar tissues we're talking here. Plastic surgery?

BRENNAN: The scarring could explain why he has a beak-like nose.

WENDELL: Polyps and tumors in the maxillary sphenoid could enlarge the cavity.

CAM: The closest thing I've ever seen to that is a cocaine addict who ran out of drugs and started snorting things like sugar and powder-like detergent.

HODGINS: (points on the screen) Does anyone has an explanation for these red stripes extending from the soft pellet down to the oesophagus?

CAM: Lacerations?

HODGINS: Hmm. (to Cam) May I? (Cam shows sign of approval to Hodgins to examine the body; Hodgins examines the inside of the oesophagus) I don't think these are lacerations. (collects red string-like from inside)

BRENNAN: Is that an organism?

HODGINS: Syngamus trachea. It's a gapeworm.

WENDELL: Where it'd come from?

HODGINS: I think you're not gonna like my answer. Uh, it's a parasite found in...chickens.

CAM: Do not tell me we're back to super chicken soldier again.

(All of them are speechless)

(Cut to: FBI Building. Booth's office)

BRENNAN: Wendell thinks maybe he was supposed to be an eagle.

BOOTH: (says something on the phone; then talks to Brennan) You make a super soldier, you'd think it'd be a robot or something invisible.

BRENNAN: Now you're just delving into pure science fiction.

BOOTH: (mocking) Like a flatworm, that's not a pure science fiction, or a half chicken; that's not considered science fiction. (over the phone) Yeah. Okay, so we agree he doesn't look like a chicken. No, it's not a joke. Just tell me whoever you're missing at DARPA. (pause) Does your missing sergeant look anything like an animal? Any kind of animal. (pause, then annoyed; ends call) A bulldog.

BRENNAN: So the defense department won't be claiming the body.

BOOTH: Nope.

(Both are in silence; suddenly DMV photo database on Booth's computer shows a hit)

BOOTH: Ooh. We got a hit off on Angela's chicken man picture. (chuckles) Probably it's from animal shelter. Whoa. God.

BRENNAN: What?

BOOTH: (takes image and compare) Wow. Is Angela good, or is she good?

BRENNAN: Those are the same question.

BOOTH: Take a look. (turns monitor to Brennan and comparing it to Angela's image)

BRENNAN: (takes a closer look) Nick Rabin. He's head personnel of a Clucksten Farms. A chicken farm?

BOOTH: This is getting weirder and weirder.

(Cut to: Clucksten Farms entrance. A group of activists are seen standing at the entrance outside; protesting, holding signs going against the activities of the chicken farm.)

BOOTH: Wonder what they're protesting.

BRENNAN: My first guess, the stench.

BOOTH: At least they're not throwing eggs at us, huh? (winds down the car window)

GUARD: Are you the FBI folks?

BOOTH: Yeap. (shows FBI ID and badge)

GUARD: Come on in. We'll find a quieter place to talk.

(Cut to: Inside of Clucksten Farms)

BOOTH: So what's with the protestors?

GUARD: Well, half of them are animal rights nuts.

BOOTH: (sees large amount of chickens in storage) Whoa. They might have a point.

BRENNAN: The other half must've hate the smell.

GUARD: Clucksten Farms has been around since the 1940's. We didn't ask anyone to build a development down here. (walks away; followed by Brennan and Booth)

BOOTH: Ugh. What's that smell?

(Cut to: Clucksten Farms personnel office where a woman is seen; the wife of Nick Rabin, Gaynor Rabin)

GAYNOR: (knock on the door is heard) Yeah. (the guard is seen entering along with Booth and Brennan) Hey John.

JOHN: Mrs. Rabin. This is Agent Booth and his associate Dr. Brennan from the FBI. (GAYNOR proceeds to shake hands with them) This is Gaynor Rabin. The accountant here at Clucksten Farms, and she's also Nick's wife. (leaves room)

GAYNOR: This is about my husband. He's dead, isn't he?

BOOTH: I'm afraid so. I'm very sorry for your loss.

GAYNOR: What happened to him?

BRENNAN: We're still in the process of figuring that out.

BOOTH: You don't seem too surprised.

GAYNOR: Nick was never the type who just disappear, I knew right away it was something terrible. Where'd you find him?

BRENNAN: In a savage river. Approximately 16 kilometers from here.

GAYNOR: He drowned? (Brennan doesn't reply) I don't understand. He never swam in that river.

BRENNAN: Your husband's nose and sinuses were deformed. He didn't take the proper precautions at work, did he?

GAYNOR: No, I told him but he didn't care.

BOOTH: (whispers to Brennan) Precautions from turning him into a chicken?

BRENNAN: It's the hydrogen sulphide. We smell without breathing apparatus, high concentrations over a period of time would deform the sinuses.

GAYNOR: Nick worked here since he was a teenager. He said he was a chicken farmer and he would take the consequences. How did my husband end up in the river?

BOOTH: We were hoping maybe you could help us with that.

GAYNOR: When I filed the missing persons report, I told the police everything. He just disappeared.

BRENNAN: We have reason to believe this wasn't an accidental drowning.

GAYNOR: (in disbelief) You think my husband was murdered?

BOOTH: Yes.

GAYNOR: Mr Clucksten said Nick was next in line to take over the business. (furious) The first people that you wanna check out are those anti chicken fanatics at the gate. They always threatened to make an example out of someone.

(Cut to Jeffersonian Lab. Hodgins is examining some samples while Angela walks in.)

ANGELA: 5 months and 14 days, I have been celibate.

HODGINS: Angela, that is very impressive.

ANGELA: Thank you. Sweets was right. Taking s*x out of that equation made me relate to people in a totally different way.

HODGINS: Yeah. You got past that mega horny stage.

ANGELA: The point is, that my six months is almost up. So..(smiles at Hodgins)

HODGINS: (smiles back) No.

ANGELA: No what?

HODGINS: I'm not going to be the one who breaks your fast.

ANGELA: I-Iwasn't asking! In fact, you should know that I'm considering a year.

HODGINS: (laughs) It's definitely a chicken parasite we found in the victim's oesophagus.

ANGELA: (in disbelief) I wasn't asking, Jack. I was just-keeping you in the loop. (walks away)

HODGINS: Okay.

ANGELA: Okay.

(Cut to Clucksten Farms. Head of Security JOHN COLLINS takes Brennan and Booth to meet the protesters when they witness a farm worker, GINA MCNAMARA, being confronted by the angry mob.)

PROTESTER 1#: Cluck you, cluck you!

GINA: Get outta my face, go get a job!

PROTESTER 1#: Murderer!

GINA: What'd you want me to do?!

(Gina and protester continues to argue; John tries to break up the fight by confronting Gina)

JOHN: You're just giving them what they want.

GINA: Look, damnit. I just wanna do my job, that's all!

JOHN: Just go. You don't want to be late for your shift. (Gina walks away; Booth and Brennan looks on)

BRENNAN: (to John) These people don't seem to like the way you treat the chickens.

JOHN: So how do you treat your chickens? Like delicious birds that people love to eat.

BOOTH: Look, anyone here in particular who had a beef with Nick Rabin?

JOHN: (points out to a guy) Josh Parsons. He snuck in, he took some unauthorized video, cut it together in a damning manner and put it on the Internet. Nick popped him one too.

BOOTH: (approaches Josh) FBI Special Agent Booth. This here is Dr Temperance Brennan.

JOSH: You here to protect them while they mistreat and torture these chickens on this farm and the people who downwind of this elimination?

BOOTH: You practice that speech much, pal?

BRENNAN: We found Nick Rabin's body.

BOOTH: As of now, you are our No 1 suspect.

JOSH: Oh please, I didn't kill anyone. I'm an extreme pacifist.

BRENNAN: That's an oxymoron. You're either extreme or pacifist. You can't be both.

JOSH: You, are working as a tool of the poultry lobbyist. Code Yellow! Code Yellow!

(The protesters poured corn syrup and paper feathers onto them)

BOOTH: Okay, you do know that you're all under arrest, right?

ACT THREE

(Cut to: FBI building. Interrogation room. Sweets and Booth are interrogating Josh Parsons after they played the footage edited by Josh)

SWEETS: That's your voice, isn't it?

JOSH: Yes. And I'm proud of my work.

SWEETS: The FBI believes you snuck into the premises to record a second video. You were caught by Nick Rabin and you killed him.

BOOTH: That's exactly what happened.

SWEETS: I don't think it played out that way.

BOOTH: Ducky Sweets here says you're not the type who could kill except in self defense.

JOSH: I never attacked anyone.

BOOTH: Oh really? Because you tar and feathered me.

JOSH: It was just corn syrup and paper feathers. And I didn't sneak in and take that video footage. I got back to my bicycle one night and there was an envelope.

BOOTH: I'm gonna need the name of your chicken spy inside.

JOSH: No.

BOOTH: And the original footage, not the stuff you cut out here.

JOSH: I will absolutely not turn over to you any information entrusted to me by a courageous individual who risks his or her job to aid innocent creatures who aren't able to defend themselves.

BOOTH: Oh, you know what, you don't want to hand in the original footage, I'm gonna charge you for assaulting a federal agent.

SWEETS: Hmm, that's what, $200,000 fine and one year in a federal prison.

BOOTH: You know, if you're locked up, who's going to speak for the chickens, huh pal? [attempts to leave the room]

JOSH: Okay, okay! Just hold on. (takes out a USB drive from his pocket & tosses it to Booth) That's the raw video footage, exactly how I got it.

SWEETS: See, it all worked out great.

(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab)

CAM: Cause of death, Mr Bray?

WENDELL: Most of the fractures are post-mortem. And the bone bruising prior to the dam and getting stuck to the whirlpool at the bottom.

CAM: Like going through a giant washing machine.

WENDELL: Yeah. But, this cervical vertrabrae damage is not post mortem. This is an on-damage cervical section. Here's our victim. The C2 vertabrae rotated laterally while the ligaments and facets of the transverse process were severed and locked.

CAM: A broken neck.

WENDELL: Fracture patterns suggest a writhing motion.

CAM: You mean wrung?

WENDELL: Yeah.

CAM: You mean the chicken man was killed by having his neck wrung?

WENDELL: Yeah. Ironic right?

CAM: We are going to have to catalogue all these injuries chronologically. Talk to Angela, see if she has any imaging technique that can help.

(Cut to: Angela's room. She watches the chicken footage with Brennan.)

ANGELA: Nearly 10 billion chickens are hatched annually. Most in places like this.

BRENNAN: It's like a warhouse.

ANGELA: Yeah, each chicken is given a less than half foot space. And look at this part, the little baby chicks get their beaks cut off.

BRENNAN: Why?

ANGELA: Supposedly to keep them from fighting.

BRENNAN: Why would they fight if they're penned up?

ANGELA: The stress of being jammed together, it gets crazy.

BRENNAN: You upset?

ANGELA: Yeah. I am. Aren't you?

BRENNAN: I'm-- not certain how sension these chickens are.

ANGELA: (frustrated) Yeah, but they can feel. I mean you can see that they can. And you know what else? If it turns out there was a chicken revolution and they off this guy, I am with them.

BRENNAN: It's our job to figure out who killed this human being.

ANGELA: Yeah. I guess.

BRENNAN: Because it probably wasn't a chicken revolution. It was probably another human being.

ANGELA: (smiles) Fine. I was able to extract the metadata that was embedded in the original video file. Time and date the video was taken and aperture make and model of the camera including the serial number.

BRENNAN: Could you trace the serial number?

ANGELA: Yeah. The owner sent in the manufacturer's warranty which included the serial number.

BRENNAN: (squints at the name) Gaynor Rabin. The victim's wife. Thank you, Angela. And I'm sorry that the chickens made you feel bad. (leaves the room)

(Angela chases after Brennan; showing her something)

ANGELA: Hey. What about pigs? Pigs are sension.

BRENNAN: That's a non sequitur.

ANGELA: Pigs make bacon. Not only are they sension, they're smarter than dogs.

BRENNAN: I don't eat bacon. I'm vegetarian.

ANGELA: Yeah, for health reasons. Listen, Brennan. (holds up a photo of a piglet) I wanna save this little piglet.

BRENNAN: That particular specific piglet?

ANGELA: Yeah. And that would be $1500. Are you in?

BRENNAN: (laughs) No.

ANGELA: Yeah, but look at his face. How can you resist this face?

BRENNAN: Saving one chicken or pig is symbolic at best.

ANGELA: This is not a symbol, this is a face. It worries me that you can look into these eyes and be so cold.

BRENNAN: I'm sure he's a fine piglet-

ANGELA: How are we friends? How is it possible? We have nothing in common.

BRENNAN: What, you don't want to be friends anymore, because the pig is cute?

(Angela walks away from Brennan)

(Cut to: Royal Diner)

SWEETS: What if the victim used the wife's camera to strike back at the company that disfigured him?

BOOTH: Maybe, he was having an affair.

SWEETS: Or maybe she was sick of kissing the guy with a beak. Oh woah! Hey, today's specials; chicken. Ironic.

BOOTH: Everything okay there, Bones? I know when there is something wrong with you, something's wrong, alright? What can I do to help you?

BRENNAN: Angela and I had a fight.

BOOTH: Nothing I can do to help.

BRENNAN: You want to hear about it.

BOOTH: No.

SWEETS: Why not?

BOOTH: Because her and Angela are best friends. And Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree Angela was wrong and those two are gonna make up, and they're both going to be mad at me. No thank you.

SWEETS: That's very interesting.

BOOTH: You know the way you say 'very interesting' is very irritating. (Sweets didn't reply) Listen, Bones, I would do anything for you. I would die for you, I would kill for you, but I am not getting in between two best friends.

BRENNAN: Okay. What were you saying, Sweets?

SWEETS: Hmm? Oh! Oh uh, I've been considering the symbolism of this murder. Tossing him into a dam isn't very chicken-ny. You'd think the victim would show up in a rotisserie or a deep frier.

BRENNAN: I remember a month ago, a chicken restaurant chain reported human phalanges in deep fried treats.

BOOTH: Kid bit into a thumb.

SWEETS: Mom ate a toe. It was uh, Buck Buck Chicken's Hut.

BOOTH: Maybe the toes are our victim's.

SWEETS: Totally pulled the justice.

BRENNAN: If you could get the body parts from the chicken treats to the Jeffersonian, we'll see if it match our victim.

BOOTH: Okay.

BRENNAN: I'm going back to the lab. Send the fingers over when you find them. (about to leave)

BOOTH: (grabs Brennan's hand) Whoa, Bones. Everything is going to be okay between you and Angela. Alright? You two are like sisters.

BRENNAN: I'm just not used-to not getting along with people.

SWEETS: Seriously? Cause it seems like- (Booth kicks Sweets under the table; Booth smiles at Brennan reassuring her everything will be alright)

BRENNAN: Thanks, Booth. Just bring in the human parts tomorrow and (pats his hand; giving him a reassuring smile) I'll take a look. (walks away)

SWEETS: You combined your 'don't get between women' rule and 'you're like sisters' observation, I come up with you dated sisters.

BOOTH: [laughs] They're identical twins. Yeah, it was all wrong.

SWEETS: No, it's all right!

(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab. Cam and Brennan are at the lab platform)

CAM: These have been frozen, fried, microwaved, bitten, spat out and preserved as evidence.

BRENNAN: Bone density would indicate that all 4 digits came from the same person.

CAM: They all came from the same local chain chicken restaurant.

BRENNAN: Buck Buck.

CAM: Beg your pardon?

BRENNAN: Buck Buck Chicken's Hut. Is Clucksten a supplier?

CAM: They're one of them. No way in telling where these particular human nuggets came from.

BRENNAN: So lack of bruising on the bone at the precision point-

CAM: Removed post mortem. So not torture obviously.

BRENNAN: There are some symmetrical slice marks, pitching from the center of the bone tissue.

CAM: Removed with shears?

BRENNAN: You should do a DNA test of course. I'm confident all 4 body parts came from Nick Rabin.

ACT FOUR

(Cut to: Sweets' office. Sweets walks in to see Angela already seated in one of the sofas)

ANGELA: Hey.

SWEETS: Are you here because of your argument with Dr Brennan?

ANGELA: No- no. I'm here for a donation. She told you about our fight?

SWEETS: No. Booth figured it out. Donation for what?

ANGELA: (holds up a picture of a piglet) It's gonna cost $1500 to save this piglet. (Sweets is speechless) How much are you in for?

SWEETS: Are those tears in your eyes?

ANGELA: I just can't stop thinking about this little piglet.

SWEETS: Okay. I'm gonna suggest perhaps it's time for you to, abandon celibacy a little early.

ANGELA: What does that have to do with anything?

SWEETS: You're forming an inappropriately strong attachments to photographs of baby animals. Your libido is being rerouted. You need to come back to the world.

ANGELA: Wait a minute, inappropriate my ass. (gets up to leave) Can I ask, what is wrong with everyone here?

SWEETS: Uh, you had a falling out with your best friend over a pig. Your perspective is skewed. It's time to reconnect with humanity. Gain a little perspective.

ANGELA: Okay. Alright, so if I have s*x, will you donate to save my pig?

SWEET:S It's not really- the point I was gonna- We'll revisit the pig question.

ANGELA: (hands over photo to Sweets) You can keep this. I have multiples. (walks out)

(Cut to: FBI Building. Interrogation room where Gaynor Rabins is being interrogated by Booth)

GAYNOR: You think I kill my husband? Cut off his thumbs? Dump him over the savage river dam?

BOOTH: Thumbs and toes, yes. Oh, do you recognize this? (plays chicken footage)

GAYNOR: It's the video those peg people put on the internet.

BOOTH: Right, it was taken with your camera.

GAYNOR: You're making that up, you can't possibly know that.

BOOTH: We can prove that. Let's start this all over again. Did you, take this footage?

GAYNOR: Yes, I took it.

BOOTH: Did you give it to Josh Parsons?

GAYNOR: Yes, I did. I wanted Clucksten shut down.

BOOTH: Why? I mean, your husband is next in line to take over the business.

GAYNOR: Because I was tired of getting threatening phone calls, tired of being hated in my own town, but most of all, Agent Booth, is I wanted my husband to get his real face back. So I gave the footage to the activists.

BOOTH: How is it possible that your husband's thumbs ended up on the menu?

GAYNOR: Easy. Toss them into the nuggets before they're breaded, fried, and frozen for shipment.

BOOTH: Are you suggesting that the killer was working in Clucksten Farms? (Gaynor nods) You realized Clucksten is doomed after this.

GAYNOR: Yeah.

BOOTH: So you got exactly what you wanted.

GAYNOR: No Agent Booth, I did not. What I wanted was my husband back.

BOOTH: I understand. Is there anyone else who benefits from Clucksten Farms going under?

GAYNOR: Probably the anti-smell people. The people who stay downwind.

BOOTH: I need a name. That's all.

GAYNOR: The main clear-air nut is Roy Meyers. He's a baker with a shop two miles down Clucksten Farms.

(Cut to Jeffersonian Lab. Angela's room. Wendell works in to see Angela with a file)

WENDELL: Hey, I got some more date on the bone bruising.

ANGELA: Hey. So I need $1500.

WENDELL: I need about $14000 to repay student loans. What'd you need your money for?

ANGELA: (holds up photo of pig) I need to save this pig.

WENDELL: Being made into bacon?

ANGELA: Yeah.

WENDELL: (pauses) I love bacon. I love ribs. I love steak. I love meat- I'm a meater. And I'm not apologetic about it.

ANGELA: Look at his face. (holds up the photo higher; waiting for a response from Wendell)

WENDELL: Look Angela, I'm sorry. Here's 20- 25- 45 dollars? Take it all. (smiles at her) It'll save your pig.

(Touched and thrilled, Angela kisses him, and he passionately kisses her back)

(Cut to: Roy Meyer's bakery. Booth and Brennan approaches Roy Meyer)

BOOTH: Roy Meyers?

MEYERS: Yes.

BOOTH: FBI. Agent Booth. This here is Dr Temperance Brennan. We understand you're trying to get the state to shut down Clucksten Farms?

MEYERS: Sure. Because no one would come in and make it through the stench.

BRENNAN: They were here first?

MEYERS: Yeah. Back when it was a free range chicken ranch but it's a beast now. Factory farm; heartless. Reasonable people call it. Uh, you'll excuse me, [takes out a cigar] I took this in a way to get fresh air, as ironic as that sounds.

BRENNAN: Considering your malodorous habit, would you say that your dispute with Clucksten Farms is more financially motivated than health related?

MEYERS: Sure. You know how a baker sells its wares?

BOOTH: Yeah. People smell the bread from outside, they go inside, they spend a dough.

MEYERS: Thanks to Clucksten Farms, to smell my cinnamon buns, people have to jam their noses right in that damn thing.

BOOTH: Clucksten Farms is trying to put you out of business.

BRENNAN: Can I take a look at that?

MEYERS: Yeah [gives her the cigar cutter] Me and anybody else who relies on the sense of smell, sense of taste.

BRENNAN: [holds the cigar cutter] Will your thumb fir into this hole?

BOOTH: Whoa whoa oh. You don't stick that into my thumb. It's like a mini gilatin.

MEYERS: You wanna be careful with that. It's sharp as a razor. It'll nip your thumb off in a jippy. [Booth & Brennan looks at him] What? It's a federal crime to own a cigar clipper?

ACT FIVE

(Cut to Jeffersonian Lab, Bone Room.)

ANGELA: The human eye can also receive colors between wavelengths of 400 and 750 nanometers.

WENDELL: This full spectrum light source simulate both the visible and UV spectrum. Angela is brilliant.

ANGELA: [smiles at Wendell] So we run the image through the spectroscope, then now we can detect the color difference that is not visible to the human eye.

WENDELL: [points at screen] I was able to confirm these are post mortem bruises, likely caused my rocks and debris while the victim was travelling down river.

ANGELA: Right, then we assigned all post mortem bruising with one distinct color, and peri mortem with another. Injuries sustained before death will appear red and after death, black.

WENDELL: Save me hours and hours of work.

CAM: This is what happens when two people with different disciplines find each other and work closely. [Wendell & Angela look awkwardly at each other; Cam notices] Can you highlight the peri mortem bruising?

WENDELL: Evenly spaced circular impact bruises on the right temporal sphenoid region continuing along the frontal and pivotal bones; all of them have identical directionality.

CAM: What the hell would leave marks like that?

WENDELL: What kind of machine?

CAM: And why they stop there?

WENDELL: Something stops the weapon from striking down into the skull in this area.

HODGINS: (walks in) The microscopic metal deposits on the thumb bone does not match the baker's cigar cutter. But fortunately, I'm very thorough and tenacious.

(Cut to: Hodgins' lab)

HODGINS: There was evidence of streaming nuclei in the bone cells.

WENDELL: That was my job to find.

HODGINS: It's okay, kid. Around here, we step in for each other when needed.

ANGELA: [surprised] What?

HODGINS: [turns to look at Angela] Hmm?

ANGELA: [Wendell looks at her; she recalls] Oh you mean work.

HODGINS: Yeah, what did you mean?

ANGELA: Work. I agree, it's work. Can we move on?

CAM: So we have electricity?

ANGELA: Who?

CAM: Streaming nuclei suggest voltage.

ANGELA: Oh, oh, I know.

WENDELL: Like self cauterizing blade.

HODGINS: There's gotta be something like that in a place that kills thousands of chickens everyday. Ahh, here we go. This has narrowed it down. He had beak and feather disease virus.

WENDELL: Beak and feather disease in his thumb?

CAM: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that what we're looking for is a self cauterizing instrument that cuts beak and feathers.

ANGELA: Wait a minute, the video.

(Cut to: FBI interrogation room. Video footage of chicken is playing and then is paused at a scene)

BOOTH: That's you right, Miss McNamara?

McNAMARA: Yeah.

BRENNAN: Your occupation is "Beak Clipper"?

McNAMARA: Baby chicks are jammed so close together, they get stressed, attack each other; it's my job to cut off the tip of their beaks.

BOOTH: [disgusted] It isn't a good job to have.

McNAMARA: I got demoted from Plucker. Bet you didn't know there was something worse than Plucker.

BOOTH: When you were demoted, was that before or after you charged Nick Rabin for sexual harassment?

McNAMARA: After. Go figure. Nick was a groper. Never saw the guy coming. It got over, real fast.

BRENNAN: How much training do you need to run the "Beak Clipping" machine?

McNAMARA: None. It got to be a person who is willing to cut off the beak of the newborn chicks. Why?

BRENNAN: Because your machine was used to remove Nick's thumbs and big toes.

McNAMARA: Hey! If I was to cut something off Nick Rabin, it would not be his thumb.

BOOTH: Okay. Usually what people do right now is they insist they didn't kill anyone.

McNAMARA: Well, maybe I fantasize about it too many times, I actually did it.

BOOTH: Do you know anything about Nick Rabin's death or his mutilation body?

McNAMARA: No. But still, if you could arrange it, I wouldn't mind getting away from Clucksten and spending a few days in jail.

(Booth and Brennan looks in disbelief)

(Cut to: FBI Building, Sweets' room)

BRENNAN: I don't need a professional consultation, Sweets.

SWEETS: Well, this is not that. This is just a friendly conversation.

BRENNAN: Angela will come around.

SWEETS: You're certain she will?

BRENNAN: Yeah. Eventually, Angela will see the rational nature of my argument.

SWEETS: [repeats] She will come around.

BRENNAN: I already said that.

SWEETS: Hey! Crazy thought. What if, this time you came around?

BRENNAN: Saving one pig is an irrational act. Are you suggesting that I should point that out to Angela more clearly? Because that would make this conversation very much like a professional consultation.

SWEETS: No, I'm suggesting in a very friendly conversational way, that you help her save that one pig.

BRENNAN: But we both agreed that it's a meaningless act.

SWEETS: Meaningless by your definition, not Angela's.

BRENNAN: My definition is correct.

SWEETS: Yes. And if life was simply a debate, you would win, hands down. But we know, this isn't a debate. It's something much tougher. You know our very work shows us that, that those people, that call the world an abattoir -- a slaughterhouse -- they have a point. Now you handle that knowledge by imposing this, gossamer web of rationality, over the ugliness. Angela has a very different way of handling. Sometimes you don't save the world, Dr. Brennan. (pauses) Sometimes you just make your friend happy.

BRENNAN: But, even if it's irrational? (Sweets doesn't reply; Brennan slowly smiles in understanding. She picks up the photo of the pig) He is very, very cute. I mean, almost like he's smiling.

(Brennan and Sweets smile at each other)

(Cut to: Jeffersonian Lab)

HODGINS: Wendell and I have been testing chicken factory implements in order to find something that would leave symmetrical marks on the victim.

(Brennan walks in)

CAM: Searching for the murder weapon.

BRENNAN: Did you find it yet?

WENDELL: Uh no, but we have the parameters.

HODGINS: Mr Bray, please resume in position. (gesturing him to take a seat)

WENDELL: The skull was struck repeatedly.

HODGINS: We need somebody to actually spin Wendell on the stool.

CAM: (hesitant) Yeah, I don't roll the interns. Perhaps Angela would do it.

(Wendell snaps the headcap suddenly)

BRENNAN: I'll do it.

HODGINS: (using paintbrush on Wendell) Okay, it appears as if the victim was turning and, or rolling.

CAM: Someone rolling?

HODGINS: As it appears.

BRENNAN: The directionality indicates that.

WENDELL: (still spinning) Can I stop turning while you discuss this?

HODGINS: Not yet, dude. Now we haven't determined is what he would've rolled on that would've done this.

BRENNAN: Oh! What if! What if, the victim wasn't spinning. What if, the weapon was spinning.

WENDELL: Oh, thank you God. (Brennan pushes him forward)

BRENNAN: The bruises had common directionality, it's likely that the victim was faced down (twist Wendell's head slightly) at an angle. If the implement striking the victim's head, was spinning (taking the paintbrush & hitting it on Wendell's head; Cam feels sorry for him) I- I know, which piece of equipment causes these bone bruises and the victim's neck at the same time.

ACT SIX

(Cut to Jeffersonian Lab, Booth is bringing in the chicken machinery on Brennan's request)

BOOTH: Yeaap, here we go. (starts making machine sounds) Hey Bones! Look at this, huh? Serve the warrant for your chicken plucker!

CAM: Oh,we got blood (flashes UV light on machinery)

BOOTH: From the chickens?

BRENNAN: No. The chickens are drained by the time they get here. They'll barely be any blood left. (Brennan picks up a piece of fibre found)

BOOTH: Whoa kay, what's that?

BRENNAN: If my theory turn out to be correct, it'll turn out to be a fragment of the victim's necktie. (places it in evidence bag) I'm going to need your tie to test the theory.

BOOTH: You mean the tie I'm wearing right now? But-

BRENNAN: (ignoring him) Uh-huh. (unties Booth's necktie) I'm not certain if the tie will be ruined. (turns out the machine)

CAM: The Jeffersonian will reimbursed it if needed.

BOOTH: It's just a tie.

BRENNAN: The murderer and victim struggle. Victim's tie enter the chicken plucker (places tie inside) That amount of force would definitely wrung the victim's neck.

CAM: Uh-oh.

BRENNAN: What? My reasoning is flawless.

BOOTH: Shut that off, will ya? Your theory suggest it was an accident.

BRENNAN: No. I disagree.

CAM: They fight, tie gets caught inevitably.

BRENNAN: No. (points at screen) This pattern has a missing component. Here. Suggest something block the strike. Obviously the murderer's hand. Like this. (places her hand on the side of Booth's face) You should see if an employee of Clucksten Farms was treated for a broken hand.

(Cam nods in agreement)

(Cut to: FBI interrogation room. John Collins is being brought in.)

BRENNAN: (holds up an xray) These fractures to your 2nd and 3rd metacarpals in your left hand, they are caused by being struck.

BOOTH: That ain't smart.

COLLINS: How did you get my xrays?

BOOTH: The judge decided that we have reasonable cause. Pulled a warrant. So why would the Head of Security reaches into a moving chicken plucker?

COLLINS: 8 years, I worked in that hell hole. Why? (takes out a photo from his wallet)

BRENNAN: (looks at photo) Your wife?

COLLINS: We were going to have kids. But she got sick because she worked at Cluckstens.

BRENNAN: Did you have evidence of that?

COLLINS: That's exactly what Nick asked. When we move into the next county, she got better. That's evidence enough, if you ask me. All I wanted from Nick, was gas allowance.

BOOTH: And he said no.

COLLINS: We shoved each other a bit, I guess. His tie got stuck into the chicken plucker. I reached in, I tried to save him, and that's how my hand got broke!

BOOTH: You didn't intend to kill him?

COLLINS: No! God, no.

BOOTH: (feeling sorry for him) Oh okay, I understand.

BRENNAN: (shocked by Booth's reply) Booth. I know you trust your gut, but you're wrong this time. (to Collins) The directionality of these fractures show that your hand was on Nick Rabin's face when it went into the machine. You pushed him, you killed him.

(Booth & Brennan exchange glances; Collins finally admits)

COLLINS: I drive 68 miles to work everyday, and all I wanted was gas allowance. I worked there 8 years! Just a gas allowance, so my wife can stay healthy.

(Booth finds it difficult to accept that Collins was lying earlier after he confesses to committing a murder)

(Cut to: Founding Fathers bar. The entire team is seen having a drink or two)

BRENNAN: Would you like one of those fruity drinks?

BOOTH: No.

(Brennan and Angela exchange glances)

BOOTH: You know he fooled me, he fooled me. I actually believed he was trying to save the victim.

BRENNAN: He's a very good liar.

BOOTH: Bones, I can tell, when people are lying. Or I could tell, before my whole, rectal cerebral - infracture.

BRENNAN: (chuckles) That's not a real medical condition.

BOOTH: (not amused) You sure? Cause that's not what I'm feeling right now.

BRENNAN: If it were real, it would be pretty disgusting. Rectal, cerebral-

BOOTH: Bones, I'm losing it. I'm- I'm not up to speed here. I woke up this morning, and I realized I didn't even know if I like brown sugar ion my oatmeal.

BRENNAN: Well next time, call me. You like brown sugar on everything.

BOOTH: I'm the one, who's supposed to know when people are lying. Who do I call up for that?

BRENNAN: (thinks) Sweets.

BOOTH: Sweets?

BRENNAN: You said he's like a human lie detector test.

BOOTH: I don't like things at half speed okay? I'm a full-speed kinda guy.

BRENNAN: Well even at half speed, you're still twice as fast as anyone else.

BOOTH: (slowly smiles) You wanna see the fastest draw in the west?

BRENNAN: Sure.

BOOTH: You want to see it again?

BRENNAN: (laughs; then recalls something & takes out a photo of Angela's pig) Sweets thinks I should humor Angela.

BOOTH: Sweets is a bright kid.

BRENNAN: But I want to know what you think. As a full grown man of experience. I need to know what you think.

BOOTH: I think you should let her have this one. (Brennan smiles at him; turns to leave) Where you going? (she holds up her chequebook) What, you mean now? I don't mean, this second.

(Brennan is seen making her way to Angela, they talk for a while before they both started smiling and hugging each other. Booth smiles while watching them. Brennan passes Angela the cheque. Booth observes the intimacy between Wendell and Angela before Wendell realizes. Brennan returns back to her seat)

BRENNAN: Angela seems to be very happy.

BOOTH: I can see that.

BRENNAN: You certainly said that in a funny way. (realizes that Booth is hiding something) You noticed something! See? You still got it! (smiles widely)

BOOTH: You're not gonna ask me what I saw?

BRENNAN: Do I wanna know?

BOOTH: No. (chuckles) Do you wanna know anyway?

BRENNAN: Nope! It can wait. I trust you.

(They both share a toast)

END.