Terror Tales of the Park IV: Part 2

(Muscle Man leads Mordecai, Rigby, Skips, Pops, Benson, and Hi Five Ghost through a forest. Rigby nervously eats trail mix as an owl looks down at him from a tree branch.)

Owl: (hooting)

Rigby: Aah! (falls over and covers his head)

(The owl flies away.)

Muscle Man: You know who doesn't drop their trail mix when they get scared? My mom! (He high-fives Hi Five Ghost)

Rigby: Ugh! How far is it to your mom's place anyway?

Muscle Man: We'll get there when we get there! Do you want to meet the woman who brought me into this world or not?

Benson: We didn't come all this way just to turn back now.

Rigby: But, like, if you had to just give a rough estimate of how far?

Muscle Man: It'd go a lot faster with another scary story, bro.

Mordecai: Augh! Duuuude!

Rigby: No, Mordecai, it's okay. I got this one. Hold my trail mix. (He hands his bag of trail mix to Mordecai) I'm gonna tell a story that covers every freaky thing you can think of!

Muscle Man: ...I'll allow it.

Rigby: It was a scary movie night like any other. We were watching "Heads, You're Dead" on the couch.

Scary Movie Night (as told by Rigby)
(Mordecai, CJ, Eileen, and Rigby sit on the living room couch watching "Heads, You're Dead". In the movie, an escaped convict stands in front of a toll booth operator.)

Convict: Heads, I win. Tails, you're dead!

Toll booth operator: (cowering in fear) No! No! No!

(The convict laughs evilly as he flips a coin. As the coin travels up, the man's laughter becomes low and distorted, and the coin turns into a crow and flies away. Title card: "Directed by SHANK NUTKIN". The movie ends.)

Mordecai: Augh!

Rigby: Lame!

Eileen: I thought it was provocative, leaving the end ambiguous so the viewer is forced to reckon with her own assumptions.

Rigby: Oh, if you want to see something provocative... (He pulls out a video cassette labeled "Triple Threat" from under the couch cushions) ...then check this out! In my hands, I hold the scariest movie ever made!

Mordecai: Pffft. Doubt it.

Rigby: No, dude, the internet says. There's a whole backstory and everything. It was a stormy night in the '70s when a VHS marketing team was working late.

(Thunder crashes. Flashback to the '70s, outside the VHEssence Distribution building. Three executives sit at a small table in a lounge.)

Executive #1: All right, guys. This is our last hope. If the VHS we release isn't the scariest thing on the market, this company's going under.

Executive #2: Okay, okay. What about... werewolves? (She holds out a VHS cover labeled "Wolf Woods") Hack-and-slash brings in the cash.

Dale Sanders: Great idea... if teenagers actually had any money. It's their parents we should be selling to. (He holds up a VHS cover labeled "The Barber") And they want classy. Restrained.

Executive #1: (sighing) If someone wants to watch a black-and-white movie, they'll do it at the ancient history museum, Dale! (He holds up a VHS cover labeled "微笑み (smile.)") It's gotta be cutting-edge. One word, two syllables -- Japan.

Rigby (voiceover): They had no idea that ball lightning was heading straight towards them!

(A ball of lightning falls from the sky toward the building.)

Executive #2: What's that heading towards us?

(Executive #2 points out the window, and Executive #1 and Dale look outside to see the ball lightning.)

Executive #1: Ball lightning!

(The three executives jump out of the way as the ball lightning crashes through the window. When the smoke clears, a video cassette that looks like three cassette pieces sewn together lies on the floor. It's labeled "Triple Threat". Dale picks up the cassette.)

Dale Sanders: This... This is it! The scary movie that'll save our company!

(Cut back to Rigby on the couch.)

Rigby: But it didn't save the company. They put the tape in, just as you would any tape not created by ball lightning fusion, and it sucked them into the movie!

Mordecai: Hmmmm.

Rigby: Legend has it that no one's ever survived to see the end, which is why it only cost $1.99 with free shipping. Ohhhhhhhh!

Mordecai: Dude, come on. There's no way that story's true.

Eileen: Yeah, really. Sucked into the tape? That's not even that scary-sounding.

Rigby: Hey, fine. If you don't think your lives are in danger, then there's no reason not to watch it, right?

CJ: We don't have anything better to do. Play the tape, Rigby!

Rigby: This is gonna be awesome! Hope everybody brought backup underpants.

(Rigby puts the tape in the VCR and sits back down on the couch.)

Rigby: (sighing)

(On the TV screen, the logos for "Wolf Woods", "The Barber", and "微笑み (smile.)" merge to form the bloody logo for "Triple Threat". The first part of the movie, "Wolf Woods", begins on a shot of the full moon as a wolf howls off-screen. In front of a house, two teenagers make out.)

Hellen: Do you have a feeling like we're being watched?

Freddy: Trust me, we're the only ones out here.

(Something growls off-screen.)

Hellen and Freddy: (They hold each other close) What was that?!

(Close-up of a creature's red eyes in a bush. The growling gets louder. Hellen and Freddy scream in terror as the camera pans up to a shot of a city and the movie turns black and white. Zoom in on a barbershop, where someone inside turns the "OPEN" sign over to "CLOSED (DUE TO INSANITY)". The unseen barber approaches a man sitting in a chair.)

Barber: So glad to see you again, sir. My client list has been dwindling of late.

(The barber casts a shadow on the wall as he holds up a pair of scissors.)

Wyatt: Uh... I-I-I just... (He hears a girl off-screen speaking in Japanese) I didn't know you had a daughter.

Barber: I don't.

(Distorted scene transition to a playground. A Japanese schoolgirl sits on a swing.)

Schoolgirl: ''Watashi to asobou yo. Anata ga inakute sabishii.''

(A group of schoolgirls skips across the playground and they notice the girl. She turns to them with big anime-esque eyes. The other schoolgirls scream in terror. Cut to Mordecai and the others on the couch.)

Mordecai: This movie's super-lame, dude.

CJ: Why's everybody being so dumb?

Eileen: Yeah, you see a threat and you run, people.

Rigby: Sorry, guys. I guess it was just cheap 'cause it sucked.

(Lightning strikes, and the power in the house goes out. Everyone screams.)

Eileen: The power's out!

Mordecai: Then how's the VCR still on?

(The VCR still has power and reads 9:25 PM.)

Rigby: Man, the guy at the yard sale said this thing was gonna outlive us all. (He looks inside the cassette port) Huh.

(A clawed hand reaches out of the VCR and grabs Rigby by the neck. Three additional hands grab CJ, Eileen, and Mordecai. CJ and Eileen scream.)

Mordecai: I think the story's true!

(The four of them get pulled into the VCR and end up in a forest.)

Rigby: Whoa. This is awesome! I told you we'd get sucked in and now we're sucked in!

Mordecai: Dude, this isn't awesome! We're stuck in a horror movie!

Rigby: Three horror movies!

CJ: And we're not the only ones.

(CJ discovers the skeletal remains of Executive #2 and Dale Sanders. She looks at Dale's company ID card.)

CJ: VHEssence Distribution? I guess they never did figure out how to save the company.

Eileen: Weren't there three of them?

(Behind the four friends, a werewolf loots the dead body of Executive #1. He looks over at them while taking money from the executive's wallet. The four scream and run away, and the werewolf chases after them. They run into a house, and Mordecai slams the door in the werewolf's face. Inside the house, the windows are boarded up, and the furniture is covered in tarps. Eileen sits on the floor and rocks back and forth.)

Eileen: I'm sorry I abused my power when I was a hall monitor! I'm sorry I intentionally didn't return that prism to the lab! I'm sorry I--

Hellen: Do you hear something?

Freddy: No, babe. I can only hear our love for each other.

Eileen: What was that?

Rigby: It sounded like it came from the closet.

Mordecai: No, dude! Don't!

(Rigby opens the closet door, and Hellen and Freddy are inside making out. They stop and turn to the four friends.)

Freddy: Huh?

Rigby: It's those teenagers from the movie.

(There's a pounding and snarling at the door, and the friends gasp.)

CJ: We've gotta get out of here.

Freddy: Yeah, you guys should totally go. Six is a crowd, right, baby?

Hellen: (giggling)

Mordecai: What?! No! That's how you die! Don't you get it?! We just have to make it to the end of the movie!

Werewolf: (from behind the door) Package delivery.

Hellen: It's a trick. Leave it on the doorstep!

Werewolf: Uh... It needs a signature.

Hellen: Oh, well, in that case... (She walks toward the door)

CJ: Wait!

Hellen: But it could be my special-order legwarmers! I don't want to have to go pick them up at the warehouse.

(Hellen opens the door, and there's no one there.)

Werewolf: I'm back here, in the bushes.

Hellen: Oh, okay. (She approaches the bushes) I don't have a pen on me.

(A pair of clawed hands reach out and pull Hellen into the bushes. She screams.)

Freddy: Hey! She's my ride home, buddy!

(Freddy runs out and jumps into the bushes. There are sounds of growling and tearing.)

Rigby: Guys!

(Mordecai, CJ, and Eileen turn to Rigby, who's standing by the house's back door.)

Rigby: Come on! Now's our chance while he's busy chowing down on those chumps!

(Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen exit through the back door and run into the woods. They slide down a small dirt slope.

Everyone: (groaning)

(They end up in front of Screeching Gables Asylum, and the movie turns black-and-white. Mordecai opens the doors, and they run inside.)

Rigby: Oh, man...

(Wyatt is seen trying to free himself from a straitjacket.)

Eileen: Oh, no! Inmate!

Wyatt: (He pulls off the straitjacket and laughs) I'm not an inmate. My name's Wyatt. I'm just here for a haircut.

Mordecai: Why would you come to a mental asylum for a haircut?

Wyatt: Well, my barber told me to meet him here. Hmm. Made sense at the time.

(The asylum's front doors slam shut.)

Mordecai: Look!

(Mordecai points to a trail of hair leading down the hall. The barber casts a shadow on the wall, laughing maniacally and holding up a pair of scissors. Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, Eileen, and Wyatt scream and retreat up the stairs, and the barber follows. They stop in the asylum's morgue.)

Eileen: And somehow this just got creepier.

(Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen run toward the window, but Wyatt stops.)

Eileen: Come on, Wyatt! What are you waiting for?!

Wyatt: (He looks at his reflection in a mirror) He might not be trying to kill us. And I really need a haircut...

Mordecai: What?! You look fine! Let's just go!

Wyatt: (He backs up into the hallway) No. He might be cool. I'm gonna chance it! (He runs toward the barber)

Eileen: Wyatt, no!

(Wyatt and the barber's shadows are cast on the wall.)

Barber: What'll it be, sir?

Wyatt: Just a little off the top.

Barber: You got it! (laughing maniacally)

(Wyatt's severed head rolls into the morgue.)

Wyatt: How does it look?

(Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen scream.)

Wyatt: Oh, come on. It's not that bad, is it?

(CJ and Rigby try to open the window, but they're unable to. CJ looks hopeless.)

CJ: That's it. We're done. There's no way out of this madhouse.

Wyatt: You guys could just use that door over there.

(Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen see an open door next to the closed window.)

Mordecai: Let's go!

(They immediately run through it and fall screaming into an old Japanese village.)

Rigby: Oh, great. Now who's that?!

(A young Japanese schoolgirl plays on the seesaw by herself. Another schoolgirl walks up to her.)

Kimiko: You must be very lonely. Everyone is afraid of you because you're different. You just want someone to play with.

(The schoolgirl on the seesaw cries tears and smiles. She stands up and joins hands with Kimiko.)

Kimiko: I will play with you! Our friendship will be a butterfly floating on the breeze of--

(The schoolgirl's mouth covers Kimiko's body and she eats her whole. She looks at Mordecai and the others.)

School Girl Villain: Do you want to play too?

(Mordecai and the others scream and run away. As they run, the Japanese village fades into a black and purple landscape with text on the ground and walls.)

Eileen: Wake up, Eileen! Wake up!

CJ: I'll never forgive you for playing this movie, Rigby!

Rigby: Hey, I thought it would be fun!

Eileen: Wait a second. What's this?

Mordecai: It looks like a bunch of names and titles?

Rigby: "Best boy grip"? What's that?

Eileen: We're in the credits! We must be near the end!

CJ: Well, if the movie's over, then we're out of danger, right?

Rigby: Uh, CJ?

(Rigby points to a ball of lightning surging behind CJ.)

Rigby: Ball lightning!

CJ: Auuugghh!

(CJ runs and jumps out of the way of the ball lightning's electric zap, leaving her boots behind. The zap leaves the boots slightly burnt.)

Eileen: Those really are all-weather boots.

Rigby: Run!

(Mordecai and the others run away from the ball lightning as it chases them through the movie's credits, dodging its electrical attacks.)

Rigby: Look! Up ahead! (He points to the VCR's cassette port) It's the end of the movie! Ha-ha! Finally!

(The ball lightning zaps at Rigby, and he falls over.)

Eileen: Rigby!

(Rigby whimpers in fear at the ball lightning. Eileen pulls off the cassette port's metal flap.)

Eileen: No lightning can resist metal!

(Eileen sticks the metal sheet in the ground, and the ball lightning's zap is attracted to it like a lightning rod. Eileen gets zapped.)

Eileen: Okay, that kinda hurt.

Rigby: Eileeeeeen!

Mordecai: Hurry! The way out!

(Rigby supports Eileen as they continue running toward the exit. The ball lightning zaps at them one more time, and they jump out of the VCR, landing in a pile of cassette filmstrip.

Everyone: (groaning)

Rigby: You guys okay?

Mordecai: (coughing and groaning) Yeah.

Eileen: I gotta admit, that movie was pretty cool.

CJ: Yeah, but not as cool as ball lightning fusing all of our butt cheeks together.

Rigby: Huh?

(The screen zooms out to show that Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen have been fused together at the butt cheeks. Mordecai, CJ, and Eileen laugh.)

Rigby: NOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU, "TRIPLE THREAT"!

(Cut back to Rigby and the others in the forest. End of "Scary Movie Night")

Rigby: Oh no! I got Eileen's arm! And she's got my leg! And Mordecai's got my face! The End! You're welcome!

Skips: Well, that was uncomfortable.

Muscle Man: I had no idea you were such an expert on lightning balls.

Rigby: Ball Lightning! It's a thing!

Muscle Man: Whatever, dude! We're here. (screen pans over to Muscle Man's mom's trailer, howling is heard)

Mordecai: This is where your mom lives?

Benson: Are you surprised?

Rigby: Let's just meet her and get out of here, this place is creeping me out!

Muscle Man: In a minute. I've gotta go in first and tell her she's got company. She doesn't take too kindly to surprise visitors.

Pops: Oh no? But her halloween decorations are so lovely! (the screen shows some gravestones next to her trailer)

Muscle Man: Those aren't decorations.

(Pops is worried)

Muscle Man: You guys stay here! (he runs into Muscle Man's mom's trailer)

Benson: This better not be another one of his pranks!

(the trailer's door creaks open)

Muscle Man: Alright! She's ready for you!

(the guys enter the trailer)

Mordecai: Muscle Man? Mrs. Sorrenstein?

(knocking is heard behind a shutter on a window, Benson opens the shutter but nothing is there)

Benson: Hmm, nobody's there.

(a green face wearing a hockey mask pops up behind the window, everybody screams)

Mordecai: Aw, weak Muscle Man! I knew this was a prank!

Muscle Man: (walks through door) What prank?

(everybody screams)

Muscle Man: (laughs) Oh, man! I got you guys! I got you good! This isn't my mom's house! You really think she'd live in this dump? I had this all planned out! That's just Muscle Bro! He was waiting here the whole time!

(Muscle Bro walks in)

Muscle Bro: Someone call me?

(everybody screams)

Muscle Man: If that's not you, then who is that? (Muscle Man shines a light at the window)

Female Voice: You know who else likes scaring people? (she takes the mask off, it is revealed to be Muscle Man's mom) Me! (she jumps through the window) Aargh!

(everybody screams)

(everybody runs out, Muscle Man's mom smashes through the trailer door)

Muscle Mom: Wait, Mitchy! You forgot your candy! (she eats some candy) Happy Halloween! (she howls, then unzips a costume, revealing that she is the same size as Muscle Man) Ha! This costume gets my boys every year!

(Episode ends)