A Muppet Family Christmas

[incomplete]

Haul out the holly We're heading home so we can start to celebrate Fill up the stockings We may be rushing things But we can hardly wait now For we need a little Christmas right this very minute Candles in the window Carols at the spinet Yes, we need a little Christmas right this very minute It hasn't snowed a single flurry Fozzie, we're all in a hurry Guys, this is the best idea we've had in years-- Christmas at my mother's farm. Sounds great, but don't you think we should have called your mother... to let her know we were coming? How little you understand bears. My mother loves surprises. - Good thing. She's in for a beauty. - Surprise, surprise! You see, I know what she is doing this very second. There she is in the old farmhouse on the snowy hill... nice and cozy by a roaring fire. All the Christmas decorations will be up... and Ma will be in her rocking chair, knitting... and feeling just a little sad... that she's all alone for the holidays. Well, the plane leaves for California in three hours. Ho-ho, Christmas in Malibu! I'm going to lie on the beach and catch some rays. Wocka, wocka! Oh, this is going to be such a surprise! Haul out the holly Turn on the brightest string of Lights we've ever seen Slice up the fruitcake It's time we hung some tinsel On that evergreen bough For we need a little music need a little laughter Need a little singing ringing through the rafter And we need a little slappy happy ever after We need a little Christmas Now Well, I think I have everything. Yes, the airline ticket, my suntan lotion, the-- Come in. Hello, is this Grizzly Farm? Oh, you must be the renter. Come in, come in! Yes, yes, I'm Doc. Are you my landlady? No, Sprocket, I didn't know I was renting from a bear. Oh, mind your step! Be careful. There's an icy patch there. I'm just so glad someone's going to be staying in the house while I'm gone. Yes, well, Sprocket and I-- He's my dog, Sprocket. We're certainly delighted to be renting the place. We've been wanting to spend a nice, quiet Christmas in the country. You've come to the right place. Put your things in the bedroom at the top of the stairs. Thank you. Now who could that be?

Fozzie: Merry Christmas! - Son! - Mom! It's so good to see you.

Emily Bear: Well, what the-- A surprise!

Fozzie: No, no, the real surprise is... I brought all my friends with me!

Emily Bear: What? - Come on, everybody! - Merry Christmas! Be careful of the icy patch. - Aren't you glad to see us all? - Well, I should say. Excuse me, Mrs. Bear. Remember me? I rented this place to have a nice, quiet Christmas. Peace on earth! Give me present. Be careful, Sprocket. These could be from some foreign planet. Actually, they're from television. I recognized Fozzie's weirdo friends. - Yeah, we're proud of it too. - Why am I here? Tell me, are these anything like these Fraggles you keep telling me about? Come on! Mom, I want you to meet someone. This is my boss, my friend, my inspiration. The one who gave me my big break in the show business-- Kermit. - Oh, yeah, the lizard. - Well, frog, actually. Listen, Mrs. Bear, I know there are an awful lot of us here, so I just-- Don't you worry about it. There's plenty of room for everybody. Excuse me. You promised me a nice, quiet Christmas. You think you're disappointed? I just took three months of surfing lessons for zip. Telephone! Telephone! That's just Animal. Hello, hello, hello! Give me present! Pig. Hello? Piggy? Kermie, my dear cher. It's you. Yes, Piggy, it's me. Hey, listen, where are you? You were supposed to come to the farmhouse with us. I know, Kermie, but I forgot about... a teensy-weensy photo session I just scheduled. Now give me more over the shoulder, honey. Hold it. Well, hurry up. Do not worry so, my little green hunk. - Oh, yeah, couldn't be nicer. - Thank you. My chauffeurJerome is ready to whisk me away... into your arms at the farmhouse. - Oh, beautiful, beautiful. - I must go. I'm rather busy. See you. Okay, bye. Kissy-kissy! Bye-bye! - Now do that pouty thing. - Oh, yes. Fabulous! You'll find more bedrooms up the stairs. But those are our bedrooms! We rented this place. - Not more. - Fozzie, get that door! - Okay, Mom! - Up the stairs. Swedish Chef!. Watch out for that icy patch there. You mean, you're here to cook the Christmas turkey for us. Let's go to the kitchen! Now, where did my little chickiepoo Camilla get to? I'll get it. - Yes? - Hi there. - You're a turkey. - Of course. Come on outside. We gotta talk. Sure, there are rats and chickens here. We always have rats and chickens. You're in the wrong place at the wrong time now. Take a walk, fly south for the winter. Anything! I was invited for Christmas by some guy who spoke Swedish. - Oh, brother. - Had a white chef's hat on. Sounds like a nice vacation. Listen. That guy is a chef. Don't you realize it could be very dangerous for turkeys around here? Not to worry. I'm a survivor. Now, where's my room? If you're not careful, it'll be in the oven. So long, bucko.

Gonzo: See you at dinner. What seems to be the trouble, Fozzie? The chef is a little bit angry... because of all the rats and chickens in his kitchen. How about we send them to his bedroom instead?

Fozzie: All right, let's go. Come on, head 'em out. - Yeah! - Up to the bedroom! Up to the bedroom! Here we go, guys. - Another crisis solved. - There sure are a lot of us here. Well, the whole family's starting to come together. - We always come together at Christmas. - Yeah. Life would just pass in a blur if it weren't for times like this. Hmm? jingle bells,jingle bells jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh jingle bell,jingle bell jingle bell rock jingle bell swing and jingle bell ring Snowin'and blowin'up bushels of fun Now the jingle hop has begun jingle bell,jingle bell jingle bell rock jingle bells chime in jingle bell time Dancin'and prancin' in jingle bell square In the frosty air What a bright time It's the right time - To rock the night away - Away jingle bell time is a swell time To go riding in a one-horse sleigh Giddy-up,jingle horse pick up your feet jingle around the clock Mix and mingle in a jingling beat That's the jingle bell rock Go, Zoot! So giddy-up,jingle horse pick up your feet jingle around the clock Mix and mingle in a jingling beat - That's the jingle bell - That's the jingle bell That's the jingle bell That's the jingle bell rock That's the jingle bell rock! Timber! That's going to be a terrific Christmas tree. Just bring it inside, guys. Thanks. Yo, Fozzie, I finally made it. Hey, Rowlf, welcome. You're late. Yeah, I've been chasing a truck all the way, and boy, am I exhausted. Oh, I get it. Truck, exhaust. That's funny. - Yeah, that's a dog joke. - Go inside and tell Mom that. - Gotcha. - She loves canine humor. Okay, boys, put it over there in the corner. Come on, Doc, let's get this holly up here. Oh, Mrs. Bear! I've been chasing a truck, and boy-- Whoa! Oh, my! I guess Fozzie didn't tell you about the icy patch. Yeah, I guess he didn't. Anyhow, my name's Rowlf the Dog. - I've come for the holidays. - More? More people? I'll go out and see if there's a spare pillow in the kennel. Yeah, bark, bark. Don't you just hate it when you can't speak the language? Stay right where you are. - Kermit, where are you? - In the kitchen, Fozzie. I got some wonderful news! Kermit, let me tell you about this new act I found. - Listen to this. - I'm listening. - I was outside building a snowman-- -Just a second. Kermit, wait. See-- Hello. Emily Bear's residence. This is Kermit the Fro-- I just wanted to tell you I have an itsy bit of Christmas shopping to do... before I come out to the farmhouse. But, Piggy, tonight's Christmas eve. Not never you fear, dear. I shall be there soon. Ta-ta. Oh, green fuzzy flipper slippers. Divine. Have them gift-wrapped. Kermit, now can I tell you about my new act? I'm all ears. Now what can that be? What does he mean, he's all ears? Frogs don't even have ears. This is my dog Sprocket. He is not a Christmas turkey! I don't care if the turkey says the dog is a turkey. The dog is not a turkey. The turkey's the turkey, you turkey! Come on, Sprocket! This is starting to be fun. Whoa, speaking of fun-- Hey, mama, how you doin'? Look what I have! It's home movies! I found this old film in the closet. It's the very first Christmas the Muppets ever spent together. Great. I haven't seen that film in years. Turn off the lights and roll the film! Yep, some things never change. Oh, that was fun. Even weirdos are cute when they're babies. - I knew you'd learn to love us. - I didn't say that. What's that? I tell you, Chicken Little, you're my kind of poultry. Camilla, what's going on here? You got some drumsticks there, my fine-feathered mama. But Camilla's my girlfriend. You gotta be kidding. You're not even a bird. Nobody's perfect. Come on, Henny Penny, let's me and you got out to the farmyard... for a little friendly scratching and squawking. All right, cut! That does it. Let me at him. - I'm gonna rip off his waddle. - You and what other nerds? - Put up your wings, turkey toes. - You're pulling my leg, hose nose. I'll be pulling your wishbone, cranberry breath. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Kermit: Hark! What do I hear?

Gonzo: You hear me about to make some turkey hash.

Kermit: No, listen. Methinks me hears carolers. Here we come a-caroling among the leaves so green Here we come a-wandering so fair to be seen Love and joy come to you And to you glad tidings too And God bless you and send you a happy new year And God send you a happy new year

Kermit: It's the Sesame Street gang!

Big Bird: Merry Christmas from Sesame Street!

Sesame Street Gang: Merry Christmas! Deck the halls with boughs of holly 'Tis the season to be jolly Don we now our gay apparel Troll the ancient yuletide carol Okay, Ernie, you're next. See the blazing yule before us Strike the harp and join the chorus I will not sing this song. While I count the yuletide treasure Your turn, Hairy Monster. That's the way the old year passes Build anew ye lads and lasses Sing ye joyous all together Deck the halls with boughs of holly 'Tis the season to be jolly That was fun! I love carols! It's nice to have everyone here. You can feel the peace of the holiday season. Watch out!

Emily Bear: Well, Doc, you know what this means?

Doc: Sprocket and I will have to give up our hammock in the attic, right?

Emily Bear: Either that or build bunk beds in the broom closet.

Doc: Sprocket, go get me a hammer, will you?

Ernie: Hi there. We're Ernie and Bert. - Yeah. Well, hi there yourself. I'm Doc. Did you know that Doc starts with the letter D? - Why, yes. - Yes. Yes starts with the letter Y. - True. - And true starts with the letter T. -What is this? -Where we come from, this is small talk. Whatever you say. It's nice to meet you... but I've gotta go and build some bunk beds. - Bunk beds! - B words.

The Christmas Turkey: You got me wrong. I'm a dairy cow. Moo! Hey, all right, okay, I'm a-- I'm a birdie, I'm a birdie! I'm a seagull, all right? Okay, all right, I admit it! The jig is up! Here I am, the Christmas turkey. Watch it there, will ya? Oh, yeah, I recognize it now. This is the traditional fitting, right... to see if the roasting pan is big enough for the nice fat bird? Of course, before we go any further... there is one thing I think you should see. If you think I'm a nice fat bird, look at this! Ain't it the truth.

Oscar: Hey, everyone, quiet down. There's a bulletin on TV.

Newsman: And now for this news flash. The worst blizzard in 50 years is approaching us at a great rate. The weather service reports that barometers are falling sharply. He's right. Look at the snow. One snowflake, two snowflake-- But Miss Piggy's out there in that storm. All right, the huge canary sleeps in the attic with the cookie eater. Check. The blue monster said he'd sleep in the bathtub. Check. Ernie and Bert will bunk out with the lizard here. - Frog. Kermit the Frog. - What about Oscar? I'll be nicely miserable in my trash can here.

Rizzo the Rat: Hey, maybe I could bunk out here with you.

Oscar: I've never had a rat in my trash can before. That might be nice.

Janice: Hey, everybody, look what I've got Christmas cookies! Cookie! Oh, thank you. Who was that strange blue creature? That my kind of fella. Hey, everybody, it's time to rehearse for our Sesame Street pageant. It's called 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. - Come on out, Bert. - I won't. - Come on, Bert. - Ernie, please don't make me. Bert, listen, everybody's waiting. Ernie, why must you always humiliate me? Come on. Somebody has to play Mama, and you lost the toss. All right, well, just get it over with. 'Twas the Night Before Christmas by Clement Moore. Hit it, Rowlf. Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house... not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. - Cue the mouse. - I'm here, I'm here! - The Grover mouse is here. - What's the bowl for? Oh! So that you can see that I am not stirring. Note how the hand never touches the spoon. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, public. I was great. - Oh, aren't they adorable? - Hey, don't encourage them. Mama in her kerchief-- That's you, Bert. - I know. - And I in my cap... had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter... I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Open the curtain! Monsters as reindeer? This is crazy. Where's Santa Claus? Don't worry, Bert. We're getting to him. With a little old driver so lively and quick... I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick. - Is nothing sacred? - Now wait a minute! Now, who let the two-headed monster be Santa Claus? But he said he'd never been in a play before. I mean, they said it. Both of him said it. Please go to the big finish, will you? But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight-- Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. - Close the curtain! - Thank you. Sorry to break up your fun in here, but have you folks seen the weather? There's a real storm out there. Lordy, I haven't seen a sky like that since the blizzard of'41. I tell you, Mr. Lizard, it's a good thing all your friends... are safe and warm inside the farmhouse. Yeah, but all my friends are not safe and warm. Sorry to hear that it's cold enough out there to freeze your Winnebago. I've finished my shopping. Unfortunately,Jerome got the limo stuck in the snowbank... so I'll have to catch a taxi to the farmhouse. Listen, Piggy, there's a terrible storm outside... and I really think it's too dangerous to travel. So why don't you and wait for the storm to end before you join us? Nonsense. And miss Christmas eve with vous? It's just a little bit of snow. See you soon. Bye-bye. Yo, taxi! I'm sure Miss Piggy will be all right. Kermit, you look worried. I know exactly what you need. - Comedy. Yeah, come on. - What? Now's the time for you to meet my new partner. - Who's your new partner? - A snowman. - The heck you say. - Yeah. Come outside. We'll do our act. Outside? Fozzie, it's too cold to go outside. - It's not cold. - It is cold. Can I come in and warm up? Okay, so it's cold. I'm Kermit the Frog. You must be Fozzie's new partner. - I'll say, We're terrific. - Yeah, yeah, come on. You are coming in a snowman, but you are going out a star. Hey, everybody, would you like to see our new act? - We'd love to see your act. - In fact, we'd hate to miss your act. In fact, we'd love to hate your act. Statler, Waldorf, where'd you guys come from? They're friends of mine, Fozzie. They come visit me every Christmas. My mother is friends with you guys? These two comics are made for each other. The snowman is ice cold, and the bear's not so hot. Oh, please. After all, there's no business like snow business. Come on, ignore them. Do the straight line. Here we go. - Okay. Hey, Fozzie. - Yes, Mr. Snowman? Did you hear about the church that burned down? Holy smoke! That was our best joke. That does it, Fozzie. Forget the act. I'm starting to melt. It's too hot in here. Well, you know what they say. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the farmhouse. Come on, you'll be okay on the back porch. Boy, that storm is really getting worse. Yeah, I hope Miss Piggy is okay. There is one worried frog. That's one. One worried frog. He's not the only one. That's two. Two worried frogs. Search me. More small talk, I think. Hey, I'd better go out and get some firewood. Hi there. Did you wish to talk to me about something, Mr. Cook, sir? Gee, nice kitchen. Hey, are you gonna have cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes? Oh, boy. I just want to hear about the whole meal. But first, I want to give this little present to you. It's chocolate-covered birdseed. I made it myself. I wanted to give it to you because, well... I know that you're from Sweden and it must be hard for you... because you're away from your family and loved ones during the holidays. At Christmas, there are places and people and things... that become very, very special. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire jack Frost nipping at your nose Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe Though it's been said many times, many ways Merry Christmas Merry Christmas To you Now there, Mr. Cook, tell me... exactly what are you going to fix for Christmas dinner? Shredded wheat and cranberry sauce? My absolute favorite. Going to be lots of snow for me to shovel tomorrow. It's getting worse and worse out there. Aren't you glad you're in here all warm and toasty? I just wish Miss Piggy were. Okay, when I yell, Three, gun it! One, two, three! You're really worried about your friend, aren't you? Hmm? Oh, well, yeah, a little. I'll tell you what. I'll go out looking for her. Really? But you've never even met Miss Piggy. We never met any of you until a little while ago. And now we're friends. See, Sprockey and I were gonna spend Christmas alone, but this is better! Now, what's your friend look like? Well, to begin with, she's a pig. Well, up to a short while ago, I would have thought that strange. - I'll give it a try. - Gee, thanks, Doc. You'll be sorry. It's cold enough to freeze your Winnebago. What a sweet guy. Uncle Kermit! - Robin? Where are you? - In the cellar. - What are you doing down there? - I made a discovery. Oh, yeah? What are you talking about? Remember telling me about Fraggle holes? Yeah, so? And how if I ever found one, we could go into Fraggle Rock... and maybe meet some Fraggles? - So? - Is that one? Look at that. Well, it certainly looks like one. You never know where you're going to find these things. Can we go in, Uncle Kermit? Well, maybe just a little ways, see if we can meet anyone. Watch your step, Robin. Gee, it's kind of scary. These are beautiful caves. Hey, Uncle Kermit, wait up. Do you think this is really Fraggle Rock? If I were a Fraggle, I think this is the kind of place I'd hang out. Wait a second. I thought I heard something. Guess not. Well, anyhow. Well, hi there. - Hi yourself. - You're Fraggles. - I'll say. - But you're not. - I'll say. - No, I'm Kermit. This is Robin. We're frogs. - What's a frog? - They're frogs. I'll say. Don't touch them. Frogs are probably noted germ carriers. Actually, we just came down here to wish you all a merry Christmas. - Thank you. - That's nice. - What's Christmas? - Yeah. - Don't you have Christmas? - No. That's when you gather together with the people you love... and you wish each other peace on earth. We have a time like that. Yes, we do. As a matter of fact, we're celebrating it right now. You see, we give each other little presents. I'm giving Goober this nice yellow pebble. And I gave Mokie that pebble last year. And I gave it to Red the year before that. And I gave it to you, Wembley, the year before that. That pebble's been a gift 37 times. - Thirty-seven times? - Yeah. Pass it on When it's nice and bright and it brings delight Let your heart choose right Gotta pass it on When it feels real good like a feeling should When it's understood Gotta pass it on When you're giving love away love will come again to stay What you give is what you gain when you pass it on When I give a gift to you I know you're gonna give it too That's why giving's what we do as we pass it on Pass it on Wish upon all the good things that you do When it's gone it will bring good luck to you And that's the way Fraggle presents work. I love it! Oh, Goober, I almost forgot. I want you to have this pebble. - So here. - Wow! Thank you, Mokie. Hey, listen, Fraggles, this has all been great, but we gotta be going. - What a shame. - I'll say. No, wait. Robin, before you go... I'd like you to have this pebble. - Wow! - Gee! Well, Merry Christmas, Fraggles. Merry Christmas, frogs! Bye! - Gosh, that was fun. - Yeah. Well, it's nice to be with friends at Christmas. Kermit, we hear shouting outside. It could be Miss Piggy. Oh, well, let's go. Anyone see her out there? Well, at least the storm has eased up a bit. Chef, why don't you make some hot soup? And Mrs. Bear... would you put some extra blankets on a bed? - Wait a minute. There she is. - What? Yeah, and she don't look bad... for a pig. Merry Christmas, Kermie. Am I late? I don't know how to explain this... but I was searching through the snow and suddenly... there was Miss Piggy with this costume for me. You don't have to explain, Doc. If there's one thing Piggy knows, it's how to make an entrance. Hey, everybody, quiet. My mother has an announcement. Thank you, Fozzie. I'd like to welcome you all here. You are all here, aren't you? I think so, yeah. Good, because I'm afraid we're running out of room. Two of you will have to sleep hung on hangers on a hook on the wall. - What a fabulous idea! - Love hanger, love hanger. It's the only way Animal ever sleeps, ma'am. See, Mom, I told you it'd be easy. - They're weirdos, Fozzie. - Yeah? - But they're nice weirdos. - Yeah. Well, everybody, it's Christmas Eve, and the tree is trimmed. So it's time for our annual carol sing. Take it, Rowlf. - Happy holiday - Happy holiday May the calendar keep bringing Happy holidays to you May the merry bells keep ringing May your every wish come true Ding, dong, merrily on high in Heaven the bells are ringing Ding, dong, verily the sky is riven with angels singing Gloria Hosanna in excelsis - What's that? - It's pretty. - Let's go see, eh? - Yeah! I saw three ships come sailing in On Christmas day On Christmas day I saw three ships come sailing in On Christmas day in the morning And what was in those ships all three On Christmas day On Christmas day And what was in those ships all three On Christmas day in the morning Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Feast of Stephen When the snow lay round about deep and crisp and even Brightly shone the moon that night Though the frost was cruel When a poor man came in sight gathering winter fuel The holly and the ivy When they are both full grown Of all the trees that are in the wood The holly bears the crown Oh, the rising of the sun And the running of the deer The playing of the merry organ Sweet singing in the choir I'll be home for Christmas You can count on me You'll have snow And mistletoe And presents on the tree Happy holidays May the calendar keep bringing Happy holidays to you Caroling, caroling now we go Christmas bells are ringing Caroling, caroling through the snow Christmas bells are ringing joyous voices sweet and clear sing the sad of heart to cheer Ding, dong, ding, dong Christmas bells are ringing Caroling, caroling near and far Following, following yonder star Mighty well the song we sing Gladsome tidings now we bring Christmas bells are ringing It's in every One of us To be wise Find your heart Open up both Your eyes We can all know Everything Without ever knowing why It's in every One of us By and by Old friends, new friends Home with the family We'll be together at Christmas Snowflakes, sleigh bells Bringing back memories We'll be together at Christmas Some things change With passing years Let this feeling stay Old friends, new friends Hoping we'll always be Here with each other Together on Christmas Day You know, Miss Piggy, I think it's time I gave you your present. Oh, really? Tell me, what is it, what is it? Well, your present is a mink. - A mink! - A mink. I've always wanted it. Where is it? Maurine. Hi, I'm Maurine, the mink. - What? - She said, Hi, I'm Maurine, the mink. I heard her, I heard her. - Well, this is the mink? My mink? - Of course. Oh, Miss Piggy, I've seen everything you've done. I'm your biggest fan. I worship the ground you walk on. What a wonderful present. Speaking of presents, Grover... I'd like you to have this Fraggle pebble. This Fraggle pebble here is for me? Oh, I just love Christmas. Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, everyone! We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year They certainly seem to be having a good time out there, Sprocket. Yeah, I like it when they have a good time. But I'll tell you what. Somebody's gotta do something about these dishes. Come on. I'll wash and you dry. Okay? Good tidings to you wherever you are We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year - Look up, dear. - Uh-oh, mistletoe. Merry Christmas, Kermie.


 * Kermit: Merry Christmas, Piggy.


 * All: Merry Christmas, everyone!