Gone Girl (2014)


 * [first lines; Nick is stroking his wife’s hair]
 * Nick Dunne: [voice over] When I think of my wife, I always think of her head. I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brains, trying to get answers. The primal questions of any marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? What have we done to each other?
 * [July 5th – the morning of; Nick goes to a bar he co-owns with his sister Margo]
 * Margo Dunne: Well, the Irish prince graces us with his presence.
 * [she flicks water in his face]
 * Nick Dunne: His majesty prefers not to be moistened. I got you a present.
 * [he places the board game “Master Mind” on the counter that he’s brought from home]
 * Margo Dunne: Oh. I hated this game.
 * Nick Dunne: You loved it.
 * Margo Dunne: You loved it. Thank you. I’ll add it to the collection.
 * [she places it with all the other board games at the back shelf of the bar]
 * Nick Dunne: Can you pour me a bourbon?
 * [she places two glasses on the counter and starts to pour the drink]
 * Margo Dunne: What’s up, jitters?
 * [Nick doesn’t reply]
 * Margo Dunne: Well, if you’re not going to talk, I’m gonna have to fill the silence with another excruciating story by Margo Dunne. Let’s see, I could tell you about my recent customer service experience changing Internet service providers.
 * Nick Dunne: I like that one.
 * Margo Dunne: Or how about the time I saw that woman who looked exactly like my friend Monica? But it wasn’t Monica, it was a total stranger.
 * Nick Dunne: Who was also named Monica.
 * Margo Dunne: Made it kind of interesting.
 * Nick Dunne: It’s great. I’m just having a bad day.
 * Margo Dunne: Amy?
 * Nick Dunne: It’s our anniversary. Five years.
 * Margo Dunne: Five? That came fast.
 * Nick Dunne: And furious.
 * [we see Amy writing in her diary dated January 8th, 2005]
 * Amy Dunne: [voice over] I’m so crazy, stupid happy. I met a boy. A great, sweet, gorgeous, cool-ass guy.
 * [flashback to Amy at a party meeting Nick for the first time]
 * Nick Dunne: Excuse me, miss? You know, I just want you to be careful where you put down that, uh, monk-brewed Belgian wheat beer. Because the party’s down to three beast lights and a bottle of pucker.
 * Amy Dunne: It might attract some desperate characters.
 * Nick Dunne: It could. I mean, the Amish are on a rumspringa.
 * [Amy looks across the room at the three Amish looking men and chuckles]
 * Amy Dunne: They already relieved me of my artisanal meat platter.
 * Nick Dunne: Finally, someone tells me how to pronounce that word.
 * Amy Dunne: “Meat”?
 * Nick Dunne: Yes, “meat.” One syllable. Thank you. Whose beer am I about to drink? Don’t tell me. Let’s see, who’s your type?
 * [he looks around the room and points to an intellectual looking guy across the room]
 * Nick Dunne: I don’t see you sitting quietly while he bloviates on his postgrad thesis about Proust.
 * [he points to another guy]
 * Nick Dunne: Uh-oh. Is that him? Ironic hipster, so self-aware, he makes everything a joke.
 * Amy Dunne: I prefer men who are funny, not “funny.”
 * Amy Dunne: What type are you?
 * Nick Dunne: Corn-fed, salt-of-the-earth Missouri guy.
 * Amy Dunne: Oh, Missouri?
 * Nick Dunne: Mm-hm.
 * Amy Dunne: Cute.
 * Nick Dunne: Native New Yorker?
 * Amy Dunne: World ends at the Hudson.
 * Nick Dunne: What’s your name?
 * Amy Dunne: Amy.
 * Nick Dunne: Well, Amy, who are you?
 * Amy Dunne: A: I’m an award-winning scrimshander. B: I’m a moderately influential warlord.
 * Nick Dunne: Hm.
 * Amy Dunne: C: I write personality quizzes for magazines.
 * Nick Dunne: Okay. Well your hands are far too delicate for real scrimshaw work. And I happen to be a charter subscriber to middling warlord weekly, so I’d recognize you. I’m gonna go with C.
 * Amy Dunne: And you? Who are you?
 * Nick Dunne: I’m the guy to save you from all this awesomeness.
 * [Amy laughs]
 * [Nick and Amy leave the party together and get into the elevator]
 * Amy Dunne: Oh, so you write for a men’s magazine. God, does that make you an expert on being a man?
 * [Nick chuckles]
 * Nick Dunne: No. It’s, you know, what to wear, what to drink.
 * Amy Dunne: How to bullshit.
 * Nick Dunne: Never with you.
 * Amy Dunne: Ha-ha.
 * Nick Dunne: No, I mean it.
 * Amy Dunne: It’s hard to believe you.
 * Nick Dunne: Why?
 * [Amy laughs]
 * Amy Dunne: I think it’s your chin.
 * Nick Dunne: My chin?
 * Amy Dunne: Yeah, it’s quite villainous.
 * Nick Dunne: Okay, how’s this?
 * [he puts two fingers on his chin]
 * Nick Dunne: A hundred percent true, no bullshit.
 * Amy Dunne: Okay.
 * [they get out of the elevator]
 * [they take a walk together]
 * Nick Dunne: We all move to New York and we end up living in these little cubby holes, and that’s not it. Come outside. Then, you’re in it.
 * [Nick stops and looks to his right]
 * Nick Dunne: You have to see this.
 * [they walk passed a bakery that is getting a sugar delivery and all the sugar is floating around everywhere]
 * Nick Dunne: I have to kiss you now.
 * Amy Dunne: Is that right?
 * Nick Dunne: I can’t let you go through a sugar storm unkissed.
 * Amy Dunne: Mm.
 * Nick Dunne: Wait a second.
 * [he wipes some sugar off her lips]
 * Nick Dunne: There you go.
 * [he kisses; later Nick is making love to Amy]
 * Amy Dunne: Nick Dunne. I really like you.
 * [back to present day at the bar with Margo and Nick where they’re playing Master Mind]
 * Margo Dunne: So, is Amy gonna do one of those anniversary treasure hunts?
 * Nick Dunne: You mean the forced march designed to prove what an oblivious and uncaring asshole her husband is?
 * Margo Dunne: Wow.
 * [Nick spins the board]
 * Nick Dunne: Life. I don’t remember the point.
 * Margo Dunne: Deep Hasbro thoughts. Spin.
 * [Nick spins the board again]
 * Margo Dunne: What was the clue last year she got so mad about?
 * Nick Dunne: “When your poor Amy has a cold, this dessert just must be sold.”
 * Margo Dunne: The answer?
 * Nick Dunne: I still don’t know the answer, Go.
 * Margo Dunne: A few years ago, you’d have known.
 * Nick Dunne: A few years ago, it was fun.
 * Nick Dunne: Year one, the traditional gift was paper. She got me a beautiful notebook. Told me to go write my novel.
 * Margo Dunne: What did you get her?
 * Nick Dunne: A kite.
 * Margo Dunne: Oh.
 * Nick Dunne: She’d never flown a kite.
 * Margo Dunne: Okay.
 * Nick Dunne: Anyway. Year four, flowers. She led me outside to the dying rosebush in the backyard.
 * Margo Dunne: That’s symbolic.
 * Nick Dunne: Yeah.
 * Margo Dunne: What’s the gift for five?
 * Nick Dunne: Wood.
 * Margo Dunne: So, what did you get her?
 * Nick Dunne: There’s no good gift for wood.
 * Margo Dunne: I know! Go home, fuck her brains out, slap her with your penis. “There’s some wood for you, bitch.”
 * [the bar phone rings and Margo answers]
 * Margo Dunne: The Bar. Why, yes. Hang on one second.
 * [to Nick]
 * Margo Dunne: Hey, it’s watchful Wally.
 * [Nick takes the phone]
 * Nick Dunne: Hey, Walt. What’s going on?
 * [Nick listens for a moment before replying]
 * Nick Dunne: Oh. Thanks very much. I’ll be right there. Alright, bye-bye.