Bathroom Break

This article is a transcript of the Beavis and Butt-Head episode, "Bathroom Break" from season 8, which aired on November 17, 2011.

Plot
Damn it, Butt-head, you were gone a long time!

Yeah. I took a big poop.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, can we get some service?

Yeah, do you work here or what?

Hey, Beavis, I just thought of something.

I'm at work, but like, I wasn't working.

I just got paid to take a dump.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe they'd pay us to go pee too.

Only one way to find out.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm still waiting for my damn food!

This is cool.

Yeah. Better than out there.

I'll have a coffee...

hello?

Hello?

Hello? Anyone there?

Hello?

What the hell's going on around here?

Come on, Butt-head, let me sit down.

No way. This is mine.

Damn it. Let me see here.

Nah. This'll do.

Ahhh, that's better. Yeah.

This is cool.

I... I'm sorry.

You're gonna have to wait your turn, sir.

Yeah. Check it out.

We're getting paid.

I've been waiting a half hour.

Screw this. I'm going somewhere else.

Ahhh, that's better. I needed that.

Yeah. Bathroom breaks kick ass.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

I want a milkshake.

Let's go to the bathroom, Beavis.

I can't deal with this right now.

This is cool.

Hello? Anybody here?

What the hell?

Excuse me.

We're gonna be a while, so, you know...

Just lock the door, Beavis.

These damn people won't stop bothering us!

How are we supposed to earn a living?

Yeah, really.

It's lunchtime, Beavis.

Yeah.

About time.

Finally!

I'll have a cheeseburger, fries...

Yeah, yeah. Cheeseburger.

Medium orange soda, no ice...

Good idea.

See ya later.

Where are you going?

I'm working.

Hello?

What's going on out there?

This is ridiculous. Man...

Beavis, Butt-head!

Where are those two?

Hey, are you gonna take our order?

Yes. Yes. I'm so sorry.

Just one moment, please.

I will be right with all of you, okay?

Hurry up!

Beavis, Butt-head, open this door right now!

We're taking a dump, sir. I'm sorry.

You're gonna have to wait your turn.

Yeah. We need some privacy.

We're going to the bathroom, buttmunch.

What are you two doing?

We had to use the bathroom, sir.

They said you've been in there for a half hour!

Well, I think the food here gave us diarrhea, sir.

It always does.

Look, I don't care how bad you have to go to the bathroom,

You get back to work right now, or you're fired!

Wait just a minute.

I'm a lawyer for the Labor Safety Organization.

God...

So what?

These workers have the right to take as long of a bathroom break as they need.

Really?

Yeah. It's the law.

The law rules.

Well... I...

Well, I'm sorry.

I wasn't aware of that then.

Can you get my order now?

We've been waiting for a long time here!

Come on already!

Yes, yes, of course.

I'm so sorry, everybody.

Okay, Beavis, take the register.

Butt-head, you get in the kitchen.

No.

We're on our bathroom break.

Yeah, it's the law.

Poop!

Where's my burgers?

Okay, I'm so sorry.

I will get your order in just a moment.

I ordered a vanilla shake, not strawberry!

Okay. I apologize. Let me fix that.

I just... Okay...

I'll clean that... Mop. Where...

Okay, everyone, just bear with me, okay?

I... I... I just...

I'll take your order in just a moment, sir.

I just need to get these fries in, and then...

Where's the manager?

I gotta go to the bathroom so bad. I...

I'll be right back.

Right back

Where are you going?

No.

Excuse me, sir. How we doing today?

Please go back inside.

I'll be there in just a minute.

Okay, sir, why don't you go ahead and put it away, zip it up, and put your hands against the wall.

No, I... I'm the manager here, Okay?

We've had a problem...

Sir, hands against the wall, feet apart, now!

You cannot do that here. That's public urination.

Look, if you would just go... God!

And that's indecent exposure.

We got a 311 at Burger World. We're gonna need backup.

Work kicks ass.

Yeah, yeah.

You punched in, right?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna see if I can, like, get more hours now...

If it's gonna be like this

This is cool.