The Return of Slade


 * Woo-hoo! Yay!
 * Titans! Crime alert!
 * Yeah, so call the police.
 * I believe the number is nine and the one and the one in that order.
 * You don't understand. It's Slade.
 * Slade!
 * That’s right. Slade. Our greatest villain has returned to settle the score.
 * Are we ready for this?
 * I don't know, but we have no choice. Titans, go!
 * Whoo-hoo! I can't believe what just happened!
 * The menace known as Slade [takes out Slade's mask.] has been vanquished once and for all! [throws the mask down.] Oh, yeah!
 * Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
 * And it wasn't just the fight that was amazing, in the end, so many compelling storylines came together and resolved in such a satisfying way.
 * A perfect balance of the action and drama. Along with light moments of the comedy!
 * And I finally got that kiss!
 * [Giggles.]
 * Well, it's too bad people will never see any of it.
 * No! That's a good thing, bro. It was just too epic!
 * You know what, Titans? After saving the world, I think we've earned ourselves a party!
 * Whipped cream!
 * Oh, whoo!
 * We'll have food, dancing, and any type of entertainment you guys want! A DJ? Rock band? Magician? You name it!
 * and : A clown!
 * What?
 * We said ...
 * and : A clown!
 * Please, what is the clown?
 * This is a clown, Star. [Holds up a picture of a clown.]
 * [Screams. Flies to a corner.] What do they do? What do they do? [Breathes heavily.]
 * Well, they entertain small children.
 * [As she slams Robin against a door.] Who would let such a creature near a child?
 * No, Star. Clowns are the coolest!
 * Yeah! We loved clowns since we were kids!
 * So cool, and they have that great music!
 * and : [Vocalize clown music.]
 * When I hear that, I know it means good times! Or the ice cream truck.
 * So, yeah, clowns.
 * We haven't seen one in years!
 * Yeah, clowns are great for little kids! You guys are too old for clowns.
 * Oh, yeah? How’s season six of Pretty Pretty Pegasus?
 * Oh, my gosh! [A scene from the series begins playing.] Well, Butterbean and Sparkleface have to save King Jellybean who has been frozen in cake frosting and ...
 * and : [Scream upon seeing King Jellybean.]
 * [Clears throat.] That's completely different.
 * [Sighs.] So, I'm really going to hire a clown?
 * Oh, no, no! No, no, please! Please, do not do it! I beg of you!
 * and : A clown!
 * [Stunned by the thought of a clown as evil laughter plays.]
 * A clown it is.
 * Attention, Titans. I know we're all having a good time but the [clears throat.] clown is here.
 * [Laughs.]
 * [Screams and hides in a plant.]
 * [Laughs excitedly.]
 * Oh, yeah!
 * This is gonna be so good!
 * [Laughs goofily. Throws pins into the air and they fall on him.] Ow!
 * and : [Smiles fade.]
 * [Laughs while he rides a small tricycle and falls off.]
 * and : [Glance at each other in confusion.]
 * [Hits a pie onto his face.]
 * Wait a minute. This clown is horrible!
 * Yeah. Why you doing lame kiddy stuff?
 * [His pants fall off whenever he picks them up.]
 * and : Boo!
 * I told you, you're too old for clowns.
 * [Kicking his legs to the side as he is down to half a head in his pants.]
 * No, it's him! This is not the way we remember his act!
 * Guys, this is a classic clown act! Look at the shoes, the nose, the makeup.
 * No way! This clown is for kids!
 * Yes! Clowns are for kids!
 * When I was a kid, clowns were way cooler!
 * They had depth and meaning!
 * This clown is garbage. Kids today don't know what they're missing.
 * You know, maybe we can fix him. Make him as cool as he used to be.
 * Clowns were never cool. You're letting nostalgia cloud your memory.
 * Guys. Kids' entertainment is not something to be messed with. It's sacred. I worry that altering this clown could have disastrous consequences!
 * Sorry, mama, but we're making this clown cool again.
 * Man, look at this clown.
 * I know. He looks like some kind of clown!
 * What a disgrace! But we'll just dress him up like we remember him.
 * I don't really remember what he looked like, bro. Just that he was cool!
 * Then let's make him cool!
 * With science! [To the clown.] Just sign this here waiver stating that we can do anything we want to your mind, body, and spiritual being.
 * [Presses the clown's flower, causing ink to sign the waiver.]
 * Thanks, bro.
 * and : [Both laugh maniacally.]
 * The clown's gone, Star. It's safe to come out. [Makes kissing noises and pats the floor.]
 * Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
 * You guys!
 * We made our clown cool again!
 * Keep him away from me! [Hisses and retreats further under the couch.]
 * Check it! [Uncovers the tarp, revealing the menacing clown.]
 * [Laughs maniacally.]
 * [Screams and flies through the roof. She dives into the ocean and comes out underneath the rocks, panting.]
 * Doesn't look very funny to me.
 * Oh, yeah?
 * Do your act, yo.
 * [Growls. Picks up Robin.]
 * Ahhh! [Is thrown onto the TV.] The clown is trying to kill me! [Is choked by the clown and then thrown onto the window. Groans. Is sprayed with a chemical.] It burns! [Is punched by the clown.]
 * and : [Laugh.]
 * Oh, it's like a pie to the face! But cooler!
 * [Is punched by clown.]
 * Told you, clowns are funny!
 * Guys! This is wrong! [Chuckles.] Okay, it's a little funny. But still wrong! You've taken something that's meant to be for kids and made it totally inappropriate just so you can still enjoy something you should have outgrown!
 * We just made him like we remember!
 * And now, we're gonna release him so he can spread joy to all the kids in the world!
 * That clown's not for children. And I'm worried what the influence of something like that could have on all kids' entertainment!
 * What? You worried it's gonna make it better? [Extends the Xtreme-ifier to Beast Boy.]
 * [Grabs the Xtreme-ifier.] Yo, clownie! Get out of here and go make some kids happy!
 * [Takes the Xtreme-ifier and rolls through the side of Titans Tower. Laughs manically and a unicycle is activated with jet rockets to transport him to Jump City.]
 * [Groans.]
 * [On her bed.] Time for the latest episode of Pretty Pretty Pegasus!
 * King Jellybean has betrayed us! We may never eat candy again.
 * I don't want any filthy candy! I just want blood! [Laughs maniacally.]
 * and : [Growl while standing on a pile of bones.]
 * [Gasps.] What is this? This is supposed to be a kids' show! What's happened?
 * [Appears on the screen.] Ha, ha, ha!
 * The clown.
 * How dastardly! If that clown has his way, all children's entertainment will be tainted!
 * I guess we lost sight of what made clowns cool in the first place as being age-appropriate entertainment.
 * We can't hold on to our childhood forever. Things change.
 * Well, it's time to grow up.
 * Are we going in guns blazing?
 * No. The only way to stop him is to remind him of who he truly is.
 * Titans, go!
 * [Vocalizes clown music and throws pins into the air that falls on him.] Ow! Ow! Ow!
 * [Laughs.]
 * [Kicks Robin.]
 * [Laughs.]
 * and : [Beast Boy rides a unicycle while Cyborg rides a small tricycle. The two crash into each other.]
 * [Laughs.]
 * [Throws a pie onto her face.]
 * [Laughs and falls onto the floor, kicking.]
 * It's working! Now, for the big finish!
 * Thanks for the laughs, Titans.
 * This was a horrible plan, Raven. Why did you think this would work?
 * [Squeezes her clown nose, causing it to honk.]
 * Children's entertainment is doomed!
 * [Laughs manically, but honks when his nose is punched and falls.]
 * Starfire?
 * I will never trust the clowns.
 * [Laughs.]
 * and : [Beast Boy rides a unicycle while Cyborg rides a small tricycle. The two crash into each other.]
 * [Laughs.]
 * [Throws a pie onto her face.]
 * [Laughs and falls onto the floor, kicking.]
 * It's working! Now, for the big finish!
 * Thanks for the laughs, Titans.
 * This was a horrible plan, Raven. Why did you think this would work?
 * [Squeezes her clown nose, causing it to honk.]
 * Children's entertainment is doomed!
 * [Laughs manically, but honks when his nose is punched and falls.]
 * Starfire?
 * I will never trust the clowns.
 * I will never trust the clowns.

Episode ends.