Tangled in the Web

Scene I: Top of the Penguin HQ
''Skipper is seen yawning with his morning cup of coffee, looking side to side, suspiciously. Kowalski, Private and Rico are standing around Skipper, staring at him'' Skipper: Ever get the feeling somebody’s watching your every move? Private: Our sincerest apologies, Skipper. Skipper: Not you, soldier. (Skipper looks around) Follow my lead. ''The penguins strike kung-fu poses and roll into the water. When they resurface, Kowalski is seen holding binoculars with their lens cap still on.'' Skipper: Kowalski, recon. What do you see? Kowalski: Not sure. The enemy must have some sort of cloaking device. ''Skipper, noticing the cap, smiles and knocks it off. '' Skipper: How about now? ''A security camera is seen through the binoculars, fixed on the penguins’ habitat. '' Kowalski: Oh. Yes. We are under surveillance. ''Skipper waves his flippers in front of his face. '' Skipper: Evasive maneuvers! ''The penguins begin sliding around on the top of their habitat. The security camera is following their movements. The penguins then do flips from the center of their habitat to the water. Kowalski peaks around a corner to see if the camera is still watching them.'' Kowalski: Still there. (Slowly) Still watching. Skipper: (Shocked) Impossible! (He waves his flippers in front of his face again) We used evasive maneuvers!

Scene II: The Zoo
''Alice is seen installing another camera, humming along to her music when she is interrupted by another employee over her walky-talky. '' Other Employee: Yo, Alice. Alice: (Singing along with her song, unable to hear the other employee) On the jungle scene, he is the funk--. Other Employee: (Loud enough to cause feedback through the walky-talky) Yo, Alice!!! ''This startles Alice, causing her to fall down the ladder.  Alice: (Angrily'') I’M WORKING HERE! Other Employee: You done installing those web-cams, or what? Alice: Yes, but I still think this whole internet thing is stupid. Who wants to watch animals on the computer?

Scene III: The Zoovenir Shop'''
King Julien is seen addressing the other animals. King Julien: I want to watch animals on the computer. Well, I want to watch me on the computer, you know. Eh, what is a computer? Mort: I like computers! King Julien: So you know…? Mort: (Sadly) No… but I don’t have to know, to like! Marlene: (Drawing a box in front of her in the air with her hands) A computer is a machine the people use to avoid work, mainly by watching silly little videos. Maurice: (With disbelief) You’re saying those cameras are there so the whole world can watch us? Skipper: Like hawks. Kowalski: Except for the swooping down and devouring us part. Private: Hopefully. (Blinks twice and smiles) Skipper: Don’t you get it? They’re trying to get inside our heads, stealing our secrets. Marlene: Wait, what? Skipper jumps up onto the barrel Marlene is standing on Skipper: (Loudly) Stealing our secrets! Marlene: No, they’re not. It’s just for fun. ''Skipper looks at Marlene in disbelief. He leans in and gives Marlene a questioning look. '' Skipper:  They’ve gotten to you! There’s no one we can trust, boys. ''Skipper jumps back down to the other three. '' Skipper: Rico. ''Rico regurgitates a smoke bomb, and the penguins jump out of the zoovenir shop, slamming the door behind them. King Julien waves the smoke away.'' King Julien: (Interested) Tell me more about this “people want to watch me” thing. Marlene: They watch us online and then vote for their favorite animal. (Proudly) Yeah, back at my old aquarium, I was, I was the winner three years in a row. King Julien: Which is not very interesting to me, because it is not about me. See how that works? Marlene: Maybe you didn’t hear me. (She pulls three large, gold trophies out from behind her back) Three time, internet popularity contest winner, right here! King Julien sees himself reflected on the trophies and leans in for a closer look. King Julien: Ooooh! I can see me, but wider! I would like very much to have it! Marlene pulls the trophies out of King Julien’s reach. Marlene: Well, since I’m out of competition – ah, scandal, long story – I could help you, if you want. King Julien: (Laughing) Silly otter, I do not need this thing called “help”. Marlene: (Sarcastically) Hmmkay, whatever. If you change your mind, you know where to find me. ''Marlene jumps down from the barrel and walks out. '' King Julien: Heh-yes, okay, but I don’t change my mind, I have people for that.

Scene IV: Top of the Penguin HQ
''A security camera is seen watching the penguins whom are all standing still. '' Skipper: Here’s the plan: we give them zip, don’t move a muscle. Private: (Obviously needing to use the bathroom) Skipper, uh, I really, need to— Skipper: --Go, go, go! ''Private walks off screen and a toilet flushing is heard. Private walks back and stands in line.  Private: (Relieved'') Ahhh, much better, thank you. ''Rico regurgitates a news paper, and he and Kowalski walk off screen in different directions. Skipper sighs. Two toilets are heard flushing. ''

Scene V: The Lemur Habitat
''King Julien notices a camera pointed in his direction and attempts to gain his internet popularity. '' King Julien: Maurice! Hit it! ''Maurice turns on their boom-box. '' Boom-box: Feel the beats, yall. ''King Julien begins jumping on the Royal Bouncy and attempts to get the camera’s attention. '' King Julien: Over here, silly camera! Yehehehes! Yehehehes! I can feel my interweb popularity skyrocketing! ''King Julien begins striking poses in mid air. '' King Julien: The Egyptian! The sleeping bear. The angry sloth! ''The camera turns away from King Julien King Julien: Yehehehes! (Notices the camera has turned away) No! Wait, what is the matter with you? Look at me! (Desperately) Look at me! (Angrily) LOOK AT THE ANGRY SLOTH!

Scene VI: Top of the Penguin HQ
''The cameras continue fixing their lenses on the stationary penguins. Private’s stomach rumbles.'' Private: (Whimpering) Guahh… ''A fly lands on the tip of Kowalski’s beak and he shakes it off. The fly causes Rico to sneeze up a pair of roller-skates. Rico whistles and the penguins begin to kick the roller-skates out of sight.  Skipper: (Slowly'') Hold formation.

Scene VII: Top of the Penguin HQ at night
The penguins are all asleep except for Skipper and are leaning on each other. Skipper: (Yawning heavily) Yohh-old for-maysion. Just a few more years of this and we’re in the clear.

Scene VIII: Top of the Penguin HQ
''Alice walks by and throws the penguins some fish while talking on her walky-talky. '' Alice: I’m telling you, these webcams are not going to catch on. The animals don’t do anything interesting, they just stand around. ''Private’s stomach begins rumbling again. '' Private: Oh dear. Skipper: Stand strong, Private. Private: (Standing at attention) Aye-aye, Skipper. ''Private begins smelling the fish and imagines they are talking to him.  The fish: (In a deep, slow voice'') Oooh, Private. Why don’t you come over and hang out with us, tasty, tasty, tasty fish? ''Private looks at the fish and his stomach rumbles again. '' Private: The tastiness… Skipper: Rico, talk some sense into him. ''Rico slaps Private across the face. '' Private: Much better, sir. Skipper: I knew you’d listen to reason. The fish: Oh, Private. ''Private gives into his hunger and walks towards the fish, tripping on the roller-skate. He begins to slide around the habitat, eventually knocking the others over.  Private: (Screaming'') Guaahhhhhhhhhh! ''Private lands head first on the fish bowl. People watching at home find it hilarious and vote Private as their favorite animal.''

Scene IX: Top of the Penguin HQ
''The penguins are sleeping again and a crowd is seen gathering around their habitat.  Skipper: (Waking up'') We’re surrounded! Crowd Guy: Hey look! It’s that funny penguin! The one that slips! Hey Slippy! Private: Who's Slippy? ''The crowd begins cheering. Private raises his flipper up and down and the crowd’s loudness changes with its position.'' Kowalski: Apparently you are Slippy. Private: (Sadly) I don’t want to be Slippy…

Scene X: Marlene’s Habitat
''Marlene is watching the penguin habitat. '' Marlene: Oh this is just sad, where is the showmanship? ''King Julien appears beside her, hanging on a tree branch. '' King Julien: Oh hello, Marlene. What are doing here? Marlene: I live here. King Julien: Really? Who knew? I didn’t. Marlene: Julien, you never visit. You must really be stinking up the internet. King Julien: Yes… (Falls out of the tree) I mean, no, no, I could not be more populars. Everybody loves the king, that is me. Marlene: Huh. (Polishing a trophy) Well, I guess I should let you get back to it then. King Julien: Well yes, I guess… (Staring longingly at the trophy) Probably so… they… (close to tears) they hate me! They hate me! I’ve got to have the pretty shiny trophy, (angrily) and that rolley-polley penguin is hogging all the glory that should be de king’s! (Begging) I need your help! Please! Please, I’ll say it one more time, please! Marlene: Okay, since you are pathetically begging. King Julien: I don’t know if I’d say… pathetic. Marlene: I would. King Julien: Okay, it’s just a word. Help me now! Marlene: Okay, here’s what I see. Lights, music, artsy hats, a performance that will knock-em dead! King Julien: Yes! And if they are dead then they cannot vote for that ridiculous penguin!

Scene XI: Top of the Penguin HQ
''A camera repeatedly spots Kowalski’s options as he reveals them to Skipper. '' Skipper: We don’t have much time, Kowalski. Counter-spying scenarios, s'il vous plaît. ''Kowalski scribbles something on a dry erase board and shows it to Skipper. '' Skipper: Outstanding! Blast, the enemy saw it. We need another plan. ''Kowalski scribbles another plan and shows it to Skipper. '' Skipper: Ooh, even better than the last one. Blast! The enemy saw this one too. ''Alice has entered the penguins’ habitat, grabs Private and walks away. '' Alice: Well, our little internet star. Skipper: Private, retreat, double-time! Private: Oh dear. Skipper! I’m captured! Skipper! ''Skipper makes a lunge for Alice but misses. '' Skipper: He’s just a boy!

Scene XII: Slippy’s Stage
Alice places Private inside of a stage built for him to slip on and entertain the guests. Alice: Here you are, Slippy. Your own little stage. ''Private looks around his stage, whimpering, when a light is shone upon him and he sees a crowd outside chanting his stage name. Private steps backwards onto a skate and begins sliding around his stage, screaming. After falling and getting up the crowd begins cheering and he is showered with fish.'' Private: Slippy… could get used to this. ''Private purposefully falls and is again showered with fish. ''

Scene XIIl: The Zoo at night
Skipper releases three wind-up penguins to distract the cameras while he, Kowalski, and Rico make their escape.

Skipper: Top side slide, men. (Sadly) Minus Private (sniff).

''They slide along camera power cables as another camera focuses on the lemur habitat where Marlene and King Julien are putting on a performance. ''

Marlene: Welcome to Circus So Great!

''The volcano erupts pink, sparkling smoke. Maurice and King Julien are seen in the volcano. ''

Maurice: That really what we’re going with?

King Julien: Yes, because it is awesome, just like me. Now hoist your king.

''Maurice pulls on a rope tied to King Julien, raising him out of the volcano where he flies through the air with the greatest of ease. He then does a mock one finger push-up. Afterward he catches Marlene who jumps down from the volcano. ''

Julien: Yes!

Maurice: (Struggling to pull the combined weight of Marlene and King Julien) I’m. pretty. sure. this. ain’t in my job description!

Scene XIV: Slippy’s Stage
''Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico are seen peeking around a corner, ever vigilant for cameras. '' Skipper: Kowalski, camouflage. ''Kowalski makes a very rough sketch of the stage and sticks it in front of a camera. '' Skipper: Rico, commence drilling, pronto. ''Rico rapidly drills a whole in the ground using two “shovels” (spoons). ''

Scene XV: The Lemur Habitat
''Marlene is seen standing on the end of a lever.  Marlene: (Sing-song'') This routine is gonna rock the house. ''Mort jumps on the other end of the lever, catapulting Marlene into the air where she lands on KING JULIEN’s back. King Julien: Yes! I am a staaaarrr! ''Maurice loses his grip on the rope causing Marlene and King Julien to fall on the end of the lever, sending Mort flying through the air into the distance. ''

Scene XVI: Slippy’s Stage
Drilling is heard as the penguins jump out of the ground where they find Private lounging on a couch, eating fish. Skipper: This madness ends now. Private: Hello Skipper, care for a bite? Skipper: We’re busting you out. Private: Ooh, really? Uh, today might not work for me actually, between all the slipping and the falling, I’m booked solid. ''Skipper walks forward and drags Private off the couch by his face. '' Skipper: It’s just as I feared; you’ve been brainwashed. Private: I’ve been… brainwashed? Skipper: (Hypnotically) Yes, you’ve been brainwashed. Private: (Hypnotized) Brainwashed. Skipper: (Hypnotically) You don’t want your brain, washed. Private: (Still hypnotized) I don’t want my brain washed. ''Mort is heard falling out of the sky, where he collides with the top of the stage and causes the whole thing to come crashing down. '' Skipper: Incoming! Private: Ahhh!

Scene XVIl: Zoo Grounds
One of the cameras is knocked out of position and re-aligns in the breakroom window...

Scene XVIII: The Penguin HQ
Kowalski and Rico are seen storing cameras and wind-up penguin dolls and Private and Skipper are sitting at their table. Skipper: Good to have you back, young Private. Private: Although I do quite miss the Slippy life style. Skipper: Ahh, still a little brainwashed, eh? Rico! ''Rico slaps Private.  Private: Much better, Sir. King Julien, Marlene, and Kowalski are angrily watching the TV.'' King Julien: I am not believing that the people voted this most popularest? ''Alice is shown on the TV air-guitaring. Alice slaps her behind. The penguins, Julien, and Marlene stared and open their mouth widely in complete shock and Kowalski blindfolds Private’s eyes with his flipper. ''