The Clam Whisperer


 * [The episode begins with the clam migration.]
 * French Narrator: Ah, behold the migration of the mjestic clams. To search for warmer climates, and plentiful food.
 * [The clams begin to signal each other in different formations.]
 * French Narrator: The clams have begun to signal each other. A hospitable location has been found. The grace that exhibit is truly- [a submarine comes in and the clams form a stop sign] Zut alors! Dive! Dive!
 * [The submarine dives down and the clams form a go sign. Meanwhile, on the ground, Spongebob is surveying the migration with his binoculars.]
 * Spongebob: Wow!
 * Patrick: [sneaks up behind Spongebob] What are you doing, Spongebob?
 * Spongebob: [screams in surprise] I'm just checking out the beautiful clams. Did you know it's migration season?
 * Patrick: Yeah, I know. [whimpers, starts bawling] I don't know! I lied to you! [whimpers and sobs]
 * [Patrick sprays his tears at Spongebob.]
 * Spongebob: Patrick, it's okay!
 * Patrick: [whimpers] Okay.
 * Spongebob: Do you need to blow your nose?
 * [Patrick grabs Spongebob and blows his nose on him. Then he wipes the tear puddle off the ground.]
 * Patrick: You're a good friend. [sets Spongebob down and Spongebob giggles] So can I see the clams?
 * Spongebob: Sure! Here, use these. [hand Patrick the binoculars]
 * Patrick: Thanks!
 * [Patrick goes to try out the binoculars but is tangled up by the strap.]
 * Patrick: Hey! [struggles with the binocular strap] The binoculars are attacking! [gets choked on by the strap]
 * Spongebob: Patrick!
 * [Spongebob jumps on Patrick and removes the binoculars off of him.]
 * Both: Phew!
 * Spongebob: Maybe we better just use our eyes.
 * Patrick: Good idea.
 * [Patrick and Spongebob punch their eyes up to look at the clam migration. A clam flies up above them.]
 * Patrick: Ooh! Clams are so pretty!
 * Spongebob: Just look at all those majestic species! There's the Soft Shell Clam.
 * [Frankie Billy walks up, yawns and falls asleep on the Soft Shell Clam.]
 * Spongebob: The Hard Shell Clam.
 * [An anchor drops on the Hard Shell Clam and it breaks into pieces.]
 * Spongebob: The Giant Clam.
 * [A driver in a car drives up to the Giant Clam.]
 * Paco: Come on! Get out of the way! [gets swallowed by the Giant Clam]
 * Spongebob: Even a Razor Clam.
 * Bearded Fish: Just clean me up, as usual.
 * [The Razor Clam nods and shaves his entire beard. The Razor Clam then lifts up a mirror for the fish to see.]
 * Bearded Fish: [bewildered laughter] I'm beautiful!
 * Spongebob: Aw, I wish the clams were closer to us so we can get a better look.
 * [Spongebob and Patrick shake themselves.]
 * Spongebob: Wait! I know! They're always hungry when they migrate!
 * [Patrick stomach rumbles. The scene changes to Spongebob taking chunks of a Krabby Patty and puts them on the ground around his house. Patrick follows but eats the Krabby Patty chunks. Spongebob stops and sees what Patrick is doing.]
 * Spongebob: Patrick, the patties are for the clams!
 * Patrick: I'm sorry, Spongebob. [eats the Krabby Patty]
 * Spongebob: Patrick!
 * Patrick: What? I'm not perfect. [wipes his mouth with a napkin] But I am full. Nap time! [falls asleep on the ground]
 * Spongebob: Aw. [chuckles and puts a blanket on Patrick]
 * [Spongeob tip-toes away. The scene changes to Spongebob  continuing to drop chunks of Krabby Patties on the ground in front of his house and Squidward's house. Soon, the flock of clams arrive and start eating the Krabby Patties.]
 * Spongebob: It's working! [gasps] Huh? [sees the clams swimming in Patrick's drool pool] Isn't that beautiful?
 * [Inside Squidward's house, Squidward is reciting a poem that he has been working on.]
 * Squidward: What is in a Squidward? A Squidward by any other name would-[squawking sounds are heard; Squidward groans] Uh. Where was I? Ah, yes! A Squidward, dancing fast, moving like grace it- [squawking sounds are heard again] Oh, that is it! Will you clams CLAM UP?!?!? [looks up and sees the clams pooping on the roof of his house] Oh, look at what the clams are doing to my beautiful home! Spongebob, will you stop feeding those clams?
 * Spongebob: Why, Squidward?
 * Squidward: Because they're making a me- [looks up and sees angry clams glaring at him] AGH! STOP!
 * [The clams poor on Squidward.]
 * [Squidward closes the window and goes into the bathtub to clam the poop off him.]
 * Squidward: [sobs] I'll never be clean again!
 * [The scene changes to Spongebob walking to the Krusty Krab.]