The Plimpton Stimulation


 * [The scene: Raj's apartment. Howard knocks at the door and Raj answers.]
 * Raj: [irritated] What?
 * Howard: What do you mean, "What?" It's Halo night.
 * Raj: I can't. I'm too sick. [coughs] Go away!
 * Howard: That's why we moved Halo night here. [holds up a paper bag] Look, I brought my mom's chicken soup.
 * Raj: I'm not hungry.
 * Elizabeth: [from inside the apartment] Don't send him away. Let him in.
 * Howard: Who’s that?
 * Raj: I bought a parrot.
 * Howard: Yeah, right. [goes in and sees Elizabeth on the couch] Dr. Plimpton?
 * Elizabeth: Hi. Howard, right?
 * Howard: Uh, yeah.
 * Elizabeth: Do you like ?
 * Howard: Yeah, sure. In fact, I'm a.
 * Elizabeth: Not tonight. Tonight, you are a delivery man. You brought soup, but, uh-oh! Raj and I don't have enough money to pay you. So we'll have to come to some other kind of arrangement.
 * Howard: Beg your pardon?
 * Elizabeth: You two figure out the details. I'm going to change into something I don't mind getting ripped off my milky flesh. [She goes into the bedroom and closes the door behind her.]
 * Howard: What the frak?!
 * Raj: Go away! She wants New Delhi, not kosher deli. Besides, you have a girlfriend.
 * Howard: We broke up weeks ago.
 * Raj: Why didn't you say anything?
 * Howard: I was waiting for the right time. This is the right time.
 * [Leonard arrives.]
 * Leonard: Hey, who's ready for Halo?
 * Raj: Oh, this is like a nightmare. Get lost!
 * Howard: He's right. The numbers are shaky enough as it is.
 * Leonard: I don't understand.
 * Elizabeth: [opens the bedroom door slightly and peeks through] Oh, good. Leonard's here!
 * Raj: Good?!
 * Leonard: Elizabeth? What's going on?
 * Elizabeth: What's going on is you and Howard are my moving men and Raj is my new landlord and I don't have enough money to pay any of you! [She goes back inside the bedroom and closes the door.]
 * Leonard: Is she suggesting what I think she's suggesting?
 * Howard: Yep! Welcome to the Penthouse Forum.
 * Raj: Okay, show of hands. Who’s up for this? [Howard quickly raises his hand, but is the only one to do so.]
 * Leonard: We’ll all be naked in front of each other.
 * Howard: [quickly lowering his hand] I’m out.
 * [Elizabeth emerges from the bedroom wearing a bra and a very short skirt.]
 * Elizabeth: Everybody ready?
 * Raj: [whispering to Howard and Leonard] Follow my lead! [to Elizabeth] Almost. We’re, we’re going to go out into the hallway and, uh, make a dramatic entrance.
 * Elizabeth: Oh, good. It’s so much better when everyone commits! [She sits on the couch.]
 * Raj: Run. Run, run, run. Don’t look back.
 * [He hustles Howard and Leonard through the doorway. After they're out, he quickly closes and locks the door, then turns around and looks at Elizabeth.]
 * Raj: So. You say you can’t pay your rent?


 * [In Leonard's and Sheldon's building, Leonard happens on Penny in the lobby as she's on her way up from the laundry room.]
 * Penny: Oh, Leonard?
 * Leonard: Hey.
 * Penny: I found these in the dryer. [holds up a pair of briefs] I’m assuming they belong to Sheldon.
 * Leonard: Thanks. It’s really hard to find these in his size. [They start walking up the stairs.] So, listen. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the other morning.
 * Penny: You mean, you and Dr. Slutbunny?
 * Leonard: Yeah, I wanted to explain.
 * Penny: Well, you don’t owe me an explanation.
 * Leonard: I don’t?
 * Penny: No, you don’t.
 * Leonard: So you’re not judging me?
 * Penny: Oh, I’m judging you nine ways to Sunday, but you don’t owe me an explanation.
 * Leonard: Nevertheless, I’d like to get one on the record so you can understand why I did what I did.
 * Penny: I’m listening.
 * Leonard: [after a long, long pause] She let me.


 * Elizabeth: Ah, Dr. Cooper, thank goodness. I completely forgot your address. But then I remembered that I’d written it on my hand. Lucky for me, I didn’t confuse it with what I’d written on my other hand, which are the coordinates for a newly discovered neutron star. ‘Cause if I tried to go there, I’d be crushed by hyper-gravity. Anyway, hello.


 * Penny: You know what? It’s, it’s none of my business. If you want to sleep with Sheldon’s doctor buddy right after we stopped seeing each other, go for it.
 * Leonard: Well, now…
 * Sheldon: Excuse me. I’m uncomfortable with you recommending that Leonard pursue having intercourse with Dr. Plimpton, who I assure you has better things to do.
 * Penny: I’m not recommending it. I’m saying it already happened.
 * Sheldon: That’s preposterous. Tell her, Leonard.
 * Leonard: Well…
 * Sheldon: No.
 * Leonard: Come on. It wasn’t my fault.
 * Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?
 * Penny: You know what? I’m just gonna take the bus to work.
 * Leonard: Penny, I can still drive you.
 * Penny: Oh, no, no, it’s okay. You might slip on a banana peel and get me pregnant.