Antz


 * ''[fist lines, as Z begins to narrate]
 * Z: All my life, I've live and worked in the big city, which, now what I think of it, is kind of a problem, since I always feel uncomfortable around crowds. I mean it. I have this fear of enclosed spaces. I-I-I... Everything makes me feel trapped all the time. You know, I always tell myself there's gotta be something better out there. But maybe I... maybe I think too much. I-I-I think everything must go back to the fact that I had a very anxious childhood. You know, my mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of 5 million, you don't get any attention. I mean, how is it possible? And-And I've always had these abandonment issues which plague me. My father was-was basically a drom, like I've said. And, you know, the guy flew away when I was just a larva. And my job, don't get me started on, because it really annoys me. I-I was not cut out to be a worker, I'll tell you right now. [getting up out of bed] I-I-I feel physically inadequate. My whole life, I've never been able to lift more than 10 times my own body weight. And, and, when you get down to it, handling dirt is, you know... [shuddering] ...is not my idea of a rewarding career. It's this whole gung ho, superorganism thing, that... that, you know, I can't get. I try, but I don't get it. I mean, you know, I'm... What is it? I'm supposed to do everything for the colony. And-And what about my needs? What about me? I've gotta believe there's someplace out there that's better than this. Otherwise, I would just curl up in a larval position and weep. [he sighs] The whole system makes me feel... [exhales] insignificant.
 * Psychologist: [to Z] Excellent. You've made a real breakthrough.
 * Z: I have?
 * Psychologist: Yes, Z. You are insignificant.
 * Z: I am?
 * ''[the title card appears, with all of the ants going down, saying, "Let's Work!"]
 * Man: Ground floor.
 * ''[the ant goes back up, with the ants going to Conquer Idleness, then looking at the crystals, with the ants bringing the babies in]
 * Weaver: Uh, worker.
 * ''[puts an ax on the baby, then grabbing the baby]
 * Weaver: Soldier. [puts the hat on the baby, then putting another baby]
 * Ant: Worker. [puts an ax on the baby, then grabbing the baby, crying]
 * Bartender: Let's try it again.
 * ''[the ant plays on the drum]
 * Bartender: Firm grip. Swing hard. Back straight. Concentrate. Follow through.
 * ''[the ants bring rocks, while the ants continue walking to Mega Tunnel Construction Ahead, with the ant throwing rocks at the ants with Z walking]
 * Z: Okay. I've got to keep a positive attitude. A good attitude, even though I'm utterly insignificant. [grabs an ax] I'm-I'm insignificant, um, but with attitude. [the rock falls on Z, coughing]
 * Azteca: Oh, sorry, Z. I didn'g see ya.
 * Z: Great, Azteca. It's working already. I'm so meaningless, I'm invisible. [he tries to get the ax out]
 * Azteca: Now, you're getting it. [takes the ax out] After all, it's not about you. It's about us, the team. It's about this.
 * Z: Uh, a giant hole in the ground?
 * Foreman: Okay, people. Are we feeling good?
 * All: Yeah.
 * Z: Yeah.
 * Foreman: Great. Now, R-1734 through Z-7829, you guys are on wrecking ball.
 * Azteca: You got it.
 * Z: Swell. You got it.
 * ''[the ants walk up]
 * Man: All right. Swing time. Let's get physical. I love this job. Let's go.
 * Z: Now, remember, Azteca, "Be the ball." That's the main thing. Now, remember that. You know, gotta be one with the ball.
 * Azteca: Would you cut it out already? Jeez. I love my work. And you, well... You think too much. Come on, Z. Help us build a bigger, better colony. And, for cryin' out loud, try to be happy about it.
 * Ant: Sure, you know. I mean, why-why...
 * Z: I mean, how could I possibly be unhappy being a piece of construction equipment?
 * Foreman: Okay, workers, remember.
 * Z: Here it comes.
 * Foreman: Be the ball. Let the energy flow through you.
 * ''[they all swing the ball]
 * Z: Grin and bear it. This is... This is for the colony. Oh.
 * ''[they all hit the rock, breaking while yelling]
 * Z: Ow. This is... This is just a lawsuot waiting to happen.
 * Ant: Hang on. Here we go. Faster.
 * Z: Did I happen to mention that heights make me nauseous?
 * Ant: No. This is a ball. Hey.
 * ''[he lets go of the ant, yelling with the indistinct, then gagging, then letting go the ant, falling down, then rolling]
 * Azteca: Oh, Z.
 * Z: Yes. Yes. I understand. I dropped the ball.
 * General: Workers. They're weak. They lack discipline. They lack comment.
 * Foreman: [he comes in] General, I know there's been a glitch or two. But everybody is working full tilt as it is, and...
 * General: [pounds the table, then gasping] You can't help it, it's your nature. But in spite of your limitations, you are going to finish this tunnel on schedule. Come hell or high water. For now on, anyone who falls behind is going to have to explain themselves to Colonel Cutter. And let me assure you, the colonel is not as understanding as I am. Dismissed.
 * ''[they all walk with the ant guards and Foreman]
 * General: Four more days, Cutter. Four more days. Then we can bid final farewell to their kind of incompetence.
 * Cutter: Yes, sir.
 * General: A fresh start. Imagine it!
 * Cutter: A strong colony, sir. A colony we can be proud of.
 * General: Yes, but we're not there yet. Cutter, we just got word that a termite army has mobilized against us.
 * Cutter: Against us?
 * General: We'll have to send troops deep into hostile territory to attack their colony.
 * Cutter: Attack a termite colony, sir? That's suicide.
 * General: Exactly. Do you have the list I asked for?
 * Cutter: Yes, General. [takes the list to General] These are the units loyal to the queen.
 * General: Hm. Then they're the ones we'll be sending. It's a shame. There's some fine officers here.
 * Cutter: Don't we need the queen's approval to declare war?
 * General: Our very next stop, Cutter.
 * ''[they both walk]
 * Queen: General, we've been at peace with that colony for years. Why would they attack us?
 * General: They want our land. They're desperate for more foraging territory. Perhaps they think we've grown soft or weak.
 * Queen: [takes a baby] Why don't we dispatch an ambassador, negotiate a new treaty? Certainly, we don't need to send soldiers.
 * General: Believe me. [takes a baby] Every ant in this colony is so precious to me. [takes the baby to Cutter] That's why we must strike now, when we have the element of surprise. If the termite shock troops enter our colony, well...
 * Queen: Yes, General, I know what they can do to us. Very well.
 * General: You've made a wise decision. In fact, you've insured the future of this colony.
 * Bala: [she arrives] Hello, General.
 * General: Princess Bala. What a nice surprise. You look lovelier each time I see you. [gives a kiss]
 * Bala: Thanks. I hope you're not just here on business.
 * General: Oh, of course... [chuckling] ...of course not.
 * Bala: Because, um, it might be nice if we had a conversation once before we get married.
 * General: You're absolutely right. Cutter, schedule some private time for me and Princess Bala.
 * Cutter: Uh, in fact, sir, there is time right now for a personal moment. We're a few seconds ahead of schedule.
 * General: Excellent. Princess.
 * Bala: Well, a few seconds isn't much, but I guess if it's quality time. So, how was your day? Anything interesting happen?
 * General: We declared war.
 * Bala: Declared war? Boy, talk about a rough day.
 * Cutter: Sir, I hate to interrupt, but time stands still for no ant.
 * General: Princess.
 * ''[Cutter takes the baby to Bala]
 * Bala: Mom, could you remind me, why am I marrying this guy?
 * Queen: Bala, do we have to argue about this again?
 * Bala: We don't seem to have anything in common. The guy's a stiff.
 * Queen: Yes, darling. I know the general may be a little gruff and somewhat overbearing at times, but I know that he cares about you. He's just not particulary good at showing it. But you should have seen how persistently he asked for your hand in marriage.
 * Bala: But why me?
 * Queen: Because you're the one who has to continue my work. It's your place, dear.
 * Bala: What if they don't like my place?
 * Queen: Everyone has their place, Bala, you, the soldiers, the workers. [takes the baby to Bala] Now, it's not all that bad being princess, is it? Would you prefer to be carting dirt all day?
 * Bala: Mother, don't be so dramatic. [looking at it, reading "Chug"] At least, they seem to have some fun every now and then.
 * ''[cut to Z in a cafe]
 * Man: Two aphid beers.
 * Z: Why'd I have to be born a worker? Soldiers get all the glory, plus you get to go out in the world. You meet interesting insects, you get to kill them.
 * Weaver: Yeah. But you get to spend all day with those beautiful worker girls.
 * Z: Weaver, they're career girls. They're obsessed with digging. [sighs] I don't think I'm ever gonna meet the right girl for me.
 * Weaver: [to Z] Who said a girl for you? I was talking about a girl for me. [chuckles, then putting the aphid beer down] Don't you want your aphid beer?
 * Z: Call me crazy, but... [clears throat] I have a thing about drinking from the anus of another creature. Okay?
 * Weaver: Suit yourself. [drinks the aphid beer] Ahhh. Me, I'm cuttin' lose. We got a royal inspection comin' up.
 * Z: Inspection, meaning you're gonna stand around like an idiot while a bunch of blue bloods smirk at you. I don't know how you put up with it, Weaver.
 * Weaver: Z, I've known you for a long time. Right?
 * Z: Definitely. You were born two seconds after me.
 * Weaver: Yeah. And ever since we were little, I've been listenin' to you complain. What are you bitching about? In case you haven't noticed, we ants are running the show. We're the lords of the Earth.
 * Z: Hey. Don't talk to me about earth, okay? 'Cause I just spent all day hauling it around. [he sighs] There's just gotta be a better place.
 * Grebs: There is. I've been there. [drinks an aphid beer, then slurping]
 * Z:I'm sor... I'm sorry. Were you talking to me?
 * Grebs: There is a better place, Insectopia.
 * Z: Oh, really. Lunatic at 3:00.
 * Grebs: You can't understand until you go there and see it yourself. You can be your own ant there. The streets are paved with food. Nobody tellin' you what to do. No wars. No colony. I shoulda never left.
 * Z: [chuckling] Oh, yeah. Fascinating.
 * Grebs: We were on a long-range recon. I got cut off from my unit.
 * Z: Nothing like post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
 * Grebs: Then I saw it, Insectopia!
 * Z: Hey!
 * Grebs: You head towards the monolith. Ten clicks past the great canyons to the land of red and white.
 * Barbatus: [takes Grebs] Hey, gramps. You've had enough for one tonight. Come on. Before you get in trouble.
 * Grebs: Head for the monolith. Listen to me! The monolith!
 * Weaver: [chuckling] That guy's got a screw loose.
 * Grebs: Cross the lake!
 * Z: Insectopia. [he scoffs] Wouldn't it be great if it were that easy?
 * Weaver: [chuckling] Yeah. Dream on, Z.
 * Grebs: Cross the lake. Look for the land of red and white.
 * Bala: Wow! This is so gritty.
 * Ant: Ten minutes and we're out of here. Right? This place is off limits.
 * Bala: Just blame it on me. Say it was all my idea.
 * Ant: It is all your idea.
 * Bala: Besides, no one's gonna recognize us. Come on, girls. What do you say? Let's take a walk on the wild side.
 * Man: [on loud speaker] Okay, everybody. 6:15. Time to dance.
 * Weaver: [to Z] Time to cut a rug, Z.
 * Z: Oh, no. That's okay. I'm gonna leave the rug just the way it is, Weaver.
 * ''[they all walk to join the dance while they hear drums playing with the ants dancing]
 * Bala: Step back, ladies. I'm gonna ask one of these workers to dance with me. [she walks to Z]
 * Z: What a bunch of losers. Mindless zombies capitulating to an oppresive system.
 * Bala: [to Z] Hi. Want to dance?
 * Z: Absolutely.
 * Bala: Follow me.
 * ''[they both walk to join to meet]
 * Z: So, how come I haven't seen you around here before?
 * Bala: Oh, I don't get out much. I, uh, I work over at the palace.
 * Z: Oh, the palace, huh? I bet those royals really live it up. Course they're all a little, you know, from inbreeding.
 * Bala: What?
 * ''[Z joins the dance, then touching Z's toe while hurting]
 * Z: Yowch! Ya-Ya... Yowch! Yowch.
 * ''[Bala joins the dance with Z]
 * Z: Youch.
 * Bala: What on earth are you doing?
 * Z: Well, actually, to tell you the truth, I'm sort of making it up.
 * Bala: Really?
 * Z: You know. Why does everybody have to dance the same way? You know, that's completely boring. It's... It's monotonous.
 * Bala: It's no fun.
 * ''[the music begins with Latin by Orchestra playing while Z and Bala dance, with Weaver looking at them, then they continue dancing, then shaking their tails, then moving around their eyes, then moving their feet, then hitting General when the music stops]
 * General: Hey. Watch your step, worker.
 * Bala: You watch yours, buddy, or you'll be in big trouble.
 * Z: Th-Th-That's okay. I'll... I'm gonna let him off this time. What? Are you crazy? This guy's built like a pebble.
 * Bala: Aren't you even gonna defend yourself?
 * Ant: Hey, buddy. Get back in place.
 * Z: Me? Uh... Uh...
 * Bala: What if he doesn't want to?
 * Z: [clears throat] Yeah. What if I don't like my place?
 * Ant: What's he talkin' about?
 * Cutter: We got us a troublemaker.
 * Ant: Buckle up, Spanky. This one goes out to all the lazy workers.
 * ''[they all gasp, then hitting Weaver]
 * Weaver: You ought to watch that aggressive behavior, buddy.
 * Cutter: He's just a worker. [puts his hand on the face with muffled talking, then throwing while crashing the drums, then chuckling, then hitting Weaver, then hitting the ant while falling to the ground, then they all start to attack, with Z]
 * Ant: Princess Bala! Princess Bala! The guards are coming.
 * Bala: Let's get outta here.
 * Z: Wait.