Watermelon Steven

[Open. Ext. It's A Wash]

(Steven and Greg are sitting and eating watermelons.)

Steven: Mmm. *spits out a seed as it lands on his face* Look, Dad! I'm Amadeus! *in a German accent* My father, he disapproves of me!

Greg: Ha! Well check this out.

(He chews a watermelon, lays back, closes his eyes, spits out two seeds, and the seeds land on his eyes.)

Greg: Ta-da!

Steven: *laughing*

Greg: Betcha can't top that.

Steven: Bet I can.

(He spits a seed, chews a watermelon, stands up, inhales and hits a can off a cone by spitting the seed at it.)

(Greg is shocked.)

Steven: *raises both arms* Haha! *points finger to Greg* Beat that!

Greg: Haaa... That was impressive my son, but the name of the game ain't distance nor accuracy.

Steven: It ain't?

Greg: No Steven, this challenge is all about who can spit the coolest. Allow me to demonstrate. *winks at Steven and then leans over and spits three seeds into a watermelon, which flings them back into his hand*

Steven: Wow, Dad! *realizes that Greg isn't responding* Uh... Dad? You okay?

Greg: *crouched over* ... Help me, son! *gets back on his feet with Steven's help, groans heavily and then collapses into lawn chair* ... Beat... that.

Steven: What! You're asking for it! *proceeds to eat several watermelons* You're really asking for it! *pauses* Hurricane... Spin... Spiiiiiiit!!!! *shoots watermelon seeds everywhere* My hurricane spin spit is unbeatable!

Greg: *shocked* By jove! It's full of seeds!

Steven: Dad?

Greg: Congratulations, son. You win by a mile. *starts to make a crown out of a watermelon slice and crowns Steven* I crown thee, Your Water-Melojesty. (Greg bows and Steven bows back.) My liege.

Greg & Steven: *both start laughing uncontrollably and scene suddenly cuts to black momentarily*

[Time Skip—next morning]

[Open. Ext. It's A Wash]

(Steven wakes up still in a lawn chair in front of It's A Wash. He yawns and looks around, noticing tons of oddly-shaped watermelons all around him.)

Steven: Huh... ? Holy watermelon! (Steven picks up a watermelon resembling himself.) Is this... ? *gasp* Can it be... ? They're me! They're all me!

[Time Skip—a little later]

Garnet: Hmm. This is really impressive.

Pearl: I suppose... Your mother had the power to grow sentient plant life to act as her defenders.

Amethyst: But Rose's plants moved and stuff. These guys don't do (Amethyst picks up Baby Melon.) ... anything.

Steven: Amethyst, be careful. This one's just a baby. Aww! Look at him, so precious.

Greg: Ugh... *groans as he steps on a Watermelon Steven* Ohh... This is really weird... What are we gonna do with all of them?

Steven: *gasps*

[Open. Ext. Beach City Funland]

Steven: There. That's a mighty fine looking table, right Baby Melon? Mm-hmm.

Mr. Smiley: Steven! What's going on here? Do you got a permit for this setup?

Steven: Oh, uh... Hey Mr. Smiley! Um, here. Try one of my Watermelon Stevens!

Mr Smiley: Hmm, man I don't know, it's kinda weird lookin'. Buut....I'll go ahead and accept your bribe.

Steven: Hey there!

Sadie: Hey Steven! What's all this about?

Steven: Just a little side project that I got going on.

Sadie: Oh, really? Ha, that's great. How did you get such handsome watermelons?

Steven: Let's just say there's a little Steven in every one of them.

Sadie: *laughs* Great sales pitch, dude. So, how much for one?

Steven: How much? Uh, I was just gonna give you one, Sadie.

Sadie: Come on, I insist. I love supporting local businesses.

Ronaldo: Whoa! What's going on here?

Steven: Hey Ronaldo.

Ronaldo: Don't mind me, just doing some live blogging about your weird watermelons. Check... out... these weird... watermelon guys... down by the Funland... entrance... it's... really... weird...

Sadie: Steven, you shouldn't keep your customers waiting like this. I'll just give you five bucks and take one, okay?

Steven: Sadie, wai-

Ronaldo: What? You're only selling them for five dollars!? Hey everybody!! Come get a Watermelon Steven! He's practically giving them away! Hurry before they're gone forever!

(A crowd of people rush over and buy Watermelon Stevens.)

Steven: And another, and another, and another, and another... Cool, one hundred pieces of money.

(Onion gets out from under the table.)

Steven: Oh, hey Onion.

(Onion gestures with his hand.)

Steven: Umm, you want... my money?

(Onion looks up and shakes his head, repeats hand gesture.)

Steven: Oh, sorry for the misunderstanding. I'm all out of Watermelon Stevens.

(Onion Points at Baby Melon.)

Steven: Sorry Onion, Baby Melon is not for sale.

(Onion steals Baby Melon and runs away.)

Steven: Ooniiiooon!!

(Steven runs off, following Onion.)

Steven: *growls* Give me back my Baby Melon!

(Baby Melon jumps out of Onion's grip, goes to hug Steven.)

Steven: My Baby Melon! Aah, my precious... I... thought I'd never see you again...

(Steven looks surprised at the living baby watermelon. Baby Melon winks.)

Steven: You're... ALIVE?! I really shouldn't be so surprised about this.... Oh man, the other ones must be alive too, right?

(Baby Melon hugs Steven.)

(Steven goes all over town and retrieves the Watermelon Stevens and returns buyers' money.)

(Ronaldo starts recording a live video for Weirdstar.Stream.)

Ronaldo: "Keep Beach City Weird" presents— oh hang on a second... *gets out spatula and hand mixer* ... first, ever, official, mutant, watermelon, autopsy.

Steven: Ronaldo! STOOOP!

Ronaldo: Steven! Get out of here! You're gonna ruin my web-sclusive!

Steven: Ronaldo, it's ALIVE!

Ronaldo: Not for long.

Steven: No, don't do it!!

(Ronaldo hits Steven's hand with spatula as Steven reaches for Watermelon Steven.)

Steven: Ow...

(Watermelon Stevens take a step forward.)

Ronaldo: Wha— G-get away from me! Stay back!

(Watermelon Stevens hiss at Ronaldo and begin to attack him.)

Ronaldo: *screams* Noo! *distress sounds*

Steven: Nooo!

Steven: Ronaldo! I'll go get help!

Ronaldo: Steven, is the camera getting all of this!?

(Steven adjusts the camera.)

Ronaldo: Sweeeet!!

Ronaldo: *more distress, getting kicked by Watermelon feet sounds*

[Open. Ext. Crystal Temple]

Steven: Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst!

Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst: What?

Steven: My watermelons came to life, and they're attacking people!

Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst: What!?!?

(Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst gasp in amazement as they walk outside and see crowd of Watermelon Stevens.)

Amethyst: Wooow...

Pearl: You said they're hurting people?

(Steven nods.)

Garnet: Rose's plants lived to fight.

Pearl: He can't control them.

(Pearl places her hands on Steven's shoulders.)

Pearl: Steven-

(A Watermelon Steven takes a step forward, looking angry.)

Pearl: Get in the house.

Steven: But-

Pearl: Now!

(Pearl pushes him inside, making the watermelons hiss loudly.)

Amethyst: Oooh what!? Bring it, melons!

Garnet: Gems, do your thing.

(Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst begin destroying the watermelons.)

Steven: Wait, don't! Come on Baby Melon, we have to stop this.

Garnet: Come on!

(Garnet is tackled by many watermelons, bringing her down.)

Steven: Everyone! Please stop! I'm okay, look! *raises hands in the air* You don't have to fight anymore!

Amethyst: *cries* They're gonna put me in the ground! *cries more* Noo! Noo! Aaah!

(One Watermelon Steven goes to where others are digging a hole, holding purplish flowers.)

Amethyst: Those flowers are lovely!! *screams and cries*

Pearl: Let go of my spear, you little twerps! I'll destroy you!

(Garnet is still trying to get all the watermelons off her.)

Steven: This is bad, Baby Melly. How do we end this carnage?

(Baby Melon closes eyes and punches Steven in the belly, making Steven collapse and grasping the other watermelons' attention.)

Steven: Baby... Melon?

(Watermelons tackle Baby Melon, destroying him.)

Steven: Wha- Woaaah!

(The crowd of watermelons surround Baby Melon.)

Steven: Ugh, let me through, you melon heads!

(Steven stares at the remains of Baby Melon.)

Steven: Ba-Baby Melon.... *starts walking to remains* I understand... You stopped the watermelons from fighting everyone else.... by making them fight you.

(Steven holds the remains up for the other watermelons to see, angered.)

Steven: Look at what you've done! You think I wanted this?! You should all be ashamed! He knew this is what it would take to calm your rage! ... He understood true loyalty.

[Momentary silence]

Steven: Go! Think about what you've done! And don't come back until you understand what he did for me, for all of us!

(Watermelon Stevens begin walking away, taking different paths (into the ocean; on land, etc.'')

Garnet: Spoken like a true king.

Steven: They don't need a king. They're their own melons now.

(Pearl and Amethyst proudly place a hand on Steven's shoulder, smiling.)

(Steven silently begins munching on Baby Melon's remains. Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet frown, glancing at Steven.)

[END]