The Rothman Disintegration


 * Sheldon: (walks into the university restroom, referring to a ) Kripke!
 * Kripke: Yes?
 * Sheldon: You're in my spot.


 * Bernadette: (1st time: so not very happy) That is big.
 * Penny: (1st time: so not very happy too) So big.
 * Bernadette: (2nd time: so not very happy) And ugly.
 * Penny: (2nd time: so not very happy too) So ugly. (shakes her head and complains) What am I gonna do?
 * Bernadette: (concerned) I don’t know. You can’t take it down. You’ll break her heart. (indicates the painting to Penny) Look at that face. (very disgusted) That enormous, unsettling, crazy face.
 * Penny: (asking Bernadette grumpily) Is there any chance I’ll learn to love it?
 * Bernadette: (very disgusted again) That depends. (asking Penny crossly) Do you like pictures of yourself where you look like a man?
 * Penny: All right, it’s got to go.
 * Bernadette: (she has no plans) What will you tell Amy?
 * Penny: (sighs and speaks defensively) How about I tell her the painting makes you feel jealous because you’re not in it?
 * Bernadette: (horrified) Nuh-uh. What if she gets me one?
 * (They both look at the painting for another second)
 * Bernadette: (completely worried) I already have a picture of me and Howard’s mom getting our hair cornrowed in Venice Beach. I’ve suffered enough.
 * Penny: Well, I guess I could take it down and put it up when she comes over, but it’s kind of heavy.
 * Bernadette: Mmm, too bad you’re not as strong as the dude in the painting.
 * (Penny and Bernadette now look mega-fully horrified at each other)


 * Sheldon: And let him win? Do I look crazy to you?


 * Leonard: All right, this is one-on-one. First person to five wins. Any questions? (Sheldon raises his hand) Yes, Sheldon?
 * Sheldon: Five what?
 * Leonard: Balls in the basket.
 * (Sheldon gives Leonard a thumbs up)


 * Sheldon: Use the Force, Sheldon! (throws the basketball, but it does not even reach the height of the hoop) I may need more Force.


 * Sheldon: I see no other option but to challenge you to a . I'd smack you with a glove, but just last week, I packed away my winter things.


 * Raj: I'm glad that men are wearing hats again. They're so distinguished.


 * (The scene where Penny opens her apartment door and sees Amy)
 * Amy: I got you a little something.
 * Penny: A little something? Oh, it… what, this is huge.
 * Amy: What’s huge is what you’ve done for me.
 * Penny: (defensively) Oh, no, Amy, I haven’t done anything.
 * Amy: No, no, before I met you, I was a . But look at me now. I’m like some kind of downtown  party girl. With a, a  and a new lace bra that hooks in the front, of all things. Open it. Open it.
 * Penny: Okay. (Opens parcel to find a huge and not at all flattering painting of Penny and Amy)
 * Amy: I wanted to get you something you didn’t have.
 * Penny: Wow. I-I don’t know what to s… Wow.
 * Amy: Do you like it?
 * Penny: Do I like it? Wow.
 * Amy: So, uh, where are you gonna hang it?
 * Penny: Oh, my God. Hang it. Wow. Um, you know, I’d have to go get a hook and nails and a hammer and…
 * Amy: No problem.
 * Penny: Oh, look. You, huh, you just, you got it all right there. Wow.
 * (The scene of painting plays for five seconds)


 * Raj: Would you look at this? I pay $25 to some kid on for a handcrafted . He sent me a . He went into his backyard and picked up a stick.
 * Howard: It's numbered.
 * Raj: Ooh, --nice!


 * Sheldon: We're gonna work this office situation out like gentleman. And if that doesn't work, I'm gonna poison his tea.


 * Sheldon: We're trying to think down here, you geode-loving feldspar jockeys! And you, the notes are C, D, E, G, and A! You pick one, or I'm chopping off that tree!


 * Professor Rothman: Oh. Hello.
 * Sheldon: Professor Rothman, This isn't your office anymore. You're retired.
 * Professor Rothman: I think the word you're looking for is "invisible".


 * Howard: Sheldon was higher.
 * Leonard: Congratulations, Sheldon, you win the office.
 * Sheldon: Who's unsatisfactory in P.E. now?


 * Amy: Oh, what a great movie.
 * Penny: I cannot believe you’ve never seen "Grease".
 * Amy: My mother didn’t allow me to watch it. She was afraid it might encourage me to join a gang.
 * Bernadette: I’ve got to go. I’ve got to get up early. My company’s testing a new steroid that supposedly doesn’t shrink testicles, and the last one there has to do the measuring.
 * Amy: I guess I should get going, too. Good night, painting Penny. Good night, real Penny.
 * Penny: Good night, real Amy.
 * Amy: You don’t have to say good night to painting Amy, ’cause she’s never leaving.
 * Bernadette: Good night, real Penny.
 * Penny: Bye.
 * Bernadette: Good night, transvestite Penny.
 * (Penny is about to bend down just a sound of door slamming is heard. She now sighs and walks to the painting)
 * Penny: Ah, okay. Let us take you off the wall. Out of sight, out of mind. I wish.
 * Amy (entering): You know, can I borrow that movie? Those singing hooligans really got my motor running.
 * Penny: Sure, sure. Enjoy. I mean, get it back to me when you can, or, you know what, actually, you keep it. It’s just going to be my gift to you. Bye.
 * Amy: Thank you. Wait. Where’d the painting go?
 * Penny: It’s right over there.
 * Amy: Why?
 * Penny: I have no idea. That is weird.
 * Amy: You hate it.
 * Penny: No. No, no. It’s just, it’s a little big.
 * Amy: I feel like an idiot.
 * Penny: No, come on, you’re not an idiot. Look, just help me put it back up.
 * Amy: Why? So you can just take it down when I leave? I don’t need your pity.
 * Penny: Oh, Amy, come on.
 * Amy: (she is now huge tears) I’m just glad I didn’t go for the sculpture.


 * Sheldon: Help! Somebody help!
 * Leonard: What happened?
 * Sheldon: I was trying to see what was in here and my head got stuck.
 * Leonard: Why would you do that?
 * Sheldon: It’s called scientific curiosity. Now go get butter.
 * Leonard: Hang in there. I’ll be right back. (Takes out phone and takes a photo. Sits down and starts posting it online.)


 * Amy: I was a fool from Summer Lovin’ to the very last rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong.