Spike


 * Moses: Good work, today, class. But before you go, I have a reminder: Tomorrow is the Ohana-rama Trivia Championship. And this year, we have an outstanding grand prize. [hands fliers to Lilo and the hula girls]
 * Mertle: Oh, goody. I get a prize!
 * Lilo: And what makes you think your family's gonna win, Mertle?
 * Mertle: Because we always win.
 * Moses: It's a brand new computer! [the girls squeal in delight] So brush up on your trivia!
 * Lilo: But you already have a computer!
 * Mertle: Three, actually. That's why I'm a child progidy.
 * Teresa: I bet Lilo's not smart enough to even have a computer.
 * Lilo: I have advanced alien technology computers. And then there's my dog. He knows molecular physics!
 * [Stitch dashes away and back, showing his model of DNA strand made of bamboo shoots and coconuts]
 * Stitch: Bark, bark!
 * Mertle: I always knew you were dense, Lilo, but I didn't know you could be outsmarted by a dog.
 * Yuki, Teresa, and Elena: YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!
 * Mertle: But I know one thing for sure: If your family is half as thick as you are, you don't stand a chance at the Ohana-Rama.


 * [Stitch has successfully captured Experiment 319; unfortunately, he was pricked by a quill and is acting goofy]
 * Lilo: Jumba, why aren't you affected by Spike?
 * Pleakley: Spike?
 * Lilo: Experiment 319. I'm calling him Spike.
 * Jumba: Name is all too appropriate. But to answer question, even Jumba's superior alien bottom is not immune to spiky spikes.
 * Lilo: Then how come you're not acting dopey like Stitch?
 * Stitch: La-la-la.... La-la-la...
 * Jumba: Ah, for because Jumba designed Experiment 319 to take normally intelligent planetary population, and increase silly goof factor by 99%, leaving only 1% clever.
 * Lilo: So?
 * Jumba: So, even 1% Jumba brains is super genius. [laughs]


 * [while Lilo teaches Stitch from scratch, Pleakley gathers up Fibber, Bonnie, Clyde, Nosy, Slushy, Yaarp, Splodyhead, and Spike in the living room]
 * Pleakley: It looks like we're all here, so let's begin. Using my extensive Earth expertise, I've adapted Dr. Okra's theories into my very own seminar entitled "Evil Attitude Remodification and Wayward Anger Extraction." Or as I like to call it, E.A.R.W.A.X.! [Nosy groans] We'll begin with Level 1: Sharing. Fibber here will buzz if you don't tell the truth, so please speak openly and honestly. Does anyone have anything they like to share with the group? [the experiments all stare at him in boredom] Anybody?
 * Nosy: Well, I have something, but...
 * Pleakley: Oh, no, no! Please, go on, Nosy. You'll feel much better if you just get it off your chest.
 * Nosy: Okay! His antenna thingy, it isn't really green. [the experiments gasp in shock; Pleakley gives a shocked look on his face]
 * Pleakley: Wait a minute, you...
 * Nosy: Nope! He's going prematurely orange, but dyes it green at night so no one would notice!
 * Pleakley: No, I don't!
 * [Fibber beeps loudly]
 * Nosy: And that's not all: he plucks his unibrow!
 * Pleakley: [clamps Nosy's mouth shut] That's enough! You're supposed to share things about yourself, not other people, especially me!
 * Bonnie: I'll share something about myself: I'm bored! I'm too smart for this stuff!
 * [Fibber beeps again; Bonnie tries to grab him, but Clyde grabs her with his mechanical arm]
 * Clyde: Hey, Bonnie, if you're so smart, how come we ended up in the slammer?
 * Bonnie: Ah, can it, Clyde! It's your fault we got nabbed in the first place!
 * [Fibber beeps again; Clyde laughs while Bonnie angrily raves]


 * [a big fight occurs during Pleakley's E.A.R.W.A.X. session; Pleakley is enraged that nothing went according to plan]
 * Pleakley: THAT'S IT!! DR. OKRA SAYS WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HUGGING AND CRYING!! WE'RE GONNA HUG AND CRY!!!! [Spike turns towards Pleakley] Oh, boy. Me and my big mouth! [dashes away and comes back wearing a suit of armor] I don't think you're evil! I think you're special! You just need a great big hug.
 * [Pleakley picks up Spike and hugs him, making him cry sadly, making the other experiment shed tears]
 * Bonnie: [tearfully] I'm sorry, Clyde.
 * Clyde: I'm sorry, Bonnie. [they both hug; Slushy and Splodyhead do the same]
 * Nosy: I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry!
 * [Fibber beeps loudly and Nosy sobs]


 * [Lilo, Jumba and Pleakley compete against Mertle, her mom, and her aunt in the Ohana-rama]
 * Moses: True or false: There is firm evidence of aliens from other planets visiting Earth.
 * Lilo: [gasps] True! [Yaarp adds 10 points to the Pelekai's score chart]
 * Moses: I'm sorry that's incorrect. [Yaarp reluctantly takes the ten points away] Edmonds?
 * Mertle: False! Only Weirdlo's weird enough to believe in aliens!


 * [Lilo finds out that Mertle is cheating by making Teresa look up the answers; she makes Spike hug Teresa to make her too goofy to help Mertle]
 * Moses: Mertle, this next question is for you. Complete this phrase: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite... blank."
 * Mertle: Oh, a science question. That's easy. For every action, there is an equal and opposite...
 * Teresa: Bucket of monkeys!
 * Mertle: Bucket of monkeys. [the audience laughs] That's not what I meant! I meant...
 * Moses: I'm sorry. That's incorrect.