Not So Awesome Blossom

(Opening shot: the city skyline during the day.)

Narrator: The city of Townsville...is once again under siege by...

(Cut to a street filled with people running scared; a laser blast strikes one of the buildings.)

Narrator: ...Mojo Jojo!

(We see several unicycle-mounted robots sporting the basic elements of Mojo's outfit and firing lasers from the pincers on the end of their arms.)

Narrator: This time with the help of his robot army! (The girls gather in midair.)

Buttercup: We can't get close enough to them!

Bubbles: And there's too many of them!

Buttercup: (to Blossom) Come on, genius, what do we do now?

(Cut to Blossom. She thinks for a moment, seeing two robots approaching an intersection from different directions. Back to her; her eyes show that she has hit on something.)

Buttercup: (from o.c.) Come on, Blossom! We're wasting time!

Blossom: Wait here!

(She zips down and stops in front of one of the robots.)

Blossom: Okay! It's just you and me! Let's see what you've got!

(She blows a raspberry at the robot. It raises its arms and fires a laser blast, which she dodges by swinging around to the rear. The screen fills with smoke when the beam hits; this clears to reveal that the Museum of Fine Arts has taken heavy damage as a result. A shocked gasp rises from o.c. onlookers at ground level. Blossom does likewise.)

Blossom: Oh, my gosh!

(She sidesteps another shot, which connects with the opera house and trashes its dome. Another collective gasp.)

Blossom: What's happening?

(Another laser blast, another dodge; this time, the 96-cent Store gets wiped out. The o.c. crowd voices its displeasure most loudly now.)

Buttercup: (groaning disgustedly) What's wrong with Blossom?

Bubbles: Maybe we should do something, but -

Buttercup: No "maybe"s about it! (She zips down.)

Bubbles: But...

(Yelling, Buttercup reaches ground level and stops at an intersection to face one robot. A second one rolls into view behind her; she bails out as the first fires its laser, which misses her and blows up the second. Now she does a quick pass near another robot, which shoots at her and gets an attacker instead. Next, she stops in the middle of the street, with two robots approaching from opposite directions. She holds her ground until the instant they both fire on her position; the screen fills with a pair of explosions, then clears to show her sisters amid a pile of wreckage. Blossom is absolutely crushed at the devastation that occurred during her charge, but Bubbles is looking off into the sky. The crowd is talking excitedly.)

Bubbles: Look! There's Buttercup! (Said sister lands by them; she has escaped untouched.)

Buttercup: What's going on?

Bubbles: You did it! You stopped 'em!

Buttercup: I did? (dancing) I did it! I did it!

(She continues in this vein as the camera pans away from her and Bubbles to stop on Blossom, who turns away from the celebration to stare morosely into the sparking debris. Her hair bow seems to sag dejectedly under its own weight. A lens on a long metal stalk protrudes from the mess and points at her; this focuses itself as the crackling stops.)

(Cut to a long shot of the observatory and zoom in slowly.)

Mojo: (from inside) Aha!

(Dissolve to him at a panel of monitors inside and pull back. One of them shows Blossom sitting in the wreckage before the image disintegrates into static; he turns away from the panel. This has been a transmission from the robot whose camera eye we saw a moment ago.)

[Animation goof: In this shot, her ponytail is completely straight, not curled at the end as usual.]

Mojo: There is a weakness!

(He smiles wickedly. Fade to black.)

(Snap to the exterior of the house during the evening.)

Buttercup: (from the inside, excitedly) And remember then, Blossom didn't know what to do, and then...

(Cut to her in the bedroom; she is reenacting the day's events.)

Buttercup: ...I came diving in... (She imitates the swoop.) ...and then, a-and then ZOOM, and then WHAMMO, and then POW!

(On the end of this, pull back to frame all three girls. Bubbles is on the floor, building a tower of blocks and looking a bit irritated at the distraction, while Blossom sits at the head of the bed and looks as if she is trying to wish herself away. A doll is near her. Buttercup has been doing her thing while standing on the foot of the bed.)

Bubbles: All right already! We get the picture! We were there, remember?

Buttercup: (sing-song voice) You're just jealous!

Bubbles: I am not! Just because Blossom blew it doesn't mean I would!

Buttercup: Uh-huh!

Bubbles: Uh-uh!

Buttercup: Uh-huh!

Bubbles: Uh-uh!

Buttercup: Uh-huh!

Bubbles: Uh-UH!

(She hits Buttercup with a flying tackle; both go sailing across the room and o.c. right. The sounds of their scuffle are heard as the camera shakes briefly and zooms in on Blossom, who talks to the doll.)

Blossom: It was an accident. (picking it up, hugging it) It was a good plan. Really.

(The doll's head falls off, sending her a little lower into the dumps. Wipe to the tower, which Bubbles and Buttercup are both working on now - it has grown considerably thanks to their combined efforts. Pull back to show Blossom sitting across the room and not watching them.)

Bubbles: Hey, Blossom, want to put the last block on top? (She brightens at this offer.)

Blossom: Yeah!

(She zips across, grabs a block out of Bubbles' hands, and flies to the pinnacle.)

Blossom: You bet!

(As soon as she puts it in place, though, the structure crumbles to the ground, crushing her mood yet more. Bubbles surveys the rubble with concern, Buttercup with anger.)

Bubbles: Oh, my.

(Cut to a dartboard on the wall. Three darts sail into view and hit the bullseye. Buttercup floats over and retrieves them, passing Bubbles as she goes. The camera follows her.)

Bubbles: Come on, Blossom. You can beat Buttercup. (Buttercup gives the darts to Blossom.)

Buttercup: No, she can't. Not anymore!

(As Blossom takes aim, Buttercup hovers behind her and does the old "booga-booga" bit to put a hex on her. Finally, she lets fly, one by one.)

Bubbles: (now o.c.) Ow! Ow! OWWW! (Three hits, wrong target; both sisters are taken aback.)

Buttercup: Bubbles?

(Cut to Blossom, trudging slowly across the room. She reaches the Professor.)

Professor: Why, Blossom. (picking her up) Why the long face?

Blossom: I've turned into a jinx. I'm no good anymore.

Professor: (chuckling) Oh, honey, I'll hear nothing of that. I was about to fix a nice hot cup of tea. (carrying her away) Would you like to pour us some?

Blossom: (brightening) I can do that!

(Cut to a small table in the kitchen. Blossom is in one of the two chairs, perched on a booster seat and holding a teapot. A cup sits on the table in front of the Professor, who is still standing.)

Professor: Now be careful, Blossom, that's scalding hot.

Blossom: (a bit rattled) I know, Professor. Hurry. Sit. Sit. (He does so.) I can't mess this up!

(Murphy's Law immediately asserts itself, in the form of the teapot's handle breaking. Its contents start to pour into the Professor's lap - and judging from the contorted expression on his face, they hit in the one place every adult male tries to protect from trauma. His next two lines sound exactly as you would expect them to if the speaker had just suffered this type of injury.)

Blossom: Uh-oh. (He grunts in pain, and the whole pot falls into his lap.) Nooo! Oh, Professor...

Professor: Excuse me, Blossom. (He puts the pot on the table.)

Blossom: I'm so sorry!

Professor: (wheezing, sliding off his chair) Oh, you - you did your best.

(She hangs her head - if her spirits could go any lower, they would come out in China. Now she walks sadly toward the front door.)

Blossom: I just cause nothing but problems. I guess I'm not needed here anymore.

(Outside, she tapes a note to the door and floats away. A moment later, Mojo reaches into view and attaches a note of his own; the doorbell rings, and his silhouette steals away. As he goes, we can see Blossom making her way toward the city proper, a bundle slung over her shoulder.)

(The Professor answers the door and sees her note first.)

Professor: Oh! A note! (He takes it down and starts to read.) "Professor, I have run away." (His perspective; her writing is quite neat and matches that on the note in "Keen on Keane.")

Blossom: (voice-over) "I'm afraid if I stay, I'll just cause nothing but trouble and make everyone unhappy. I need to find a way to serve people and do good." (Back to the Professor.)

Professor: "Love, Blossom." Oh, no! (He sees Mojo's note and pulls it off the door.) What's this?

[Errors: Blossom's note starts with "Dear Professor" and uses "I am" instead of "I'm."]

(His perspective of this note, which uses printed letters, and not very neat ones at that. The camera turns down slowly to take in the entire document as it is read.)

Mojo: (voice-over) "Professor: Please disregard first note. I have Blossom. Come alone to my lair. Do not bring Buttercup or Bubbles. You must come without them! When you arrive, you must not be accompanied by anyone, especially Buttercup and Bubbles; they are to remain uninformed by you by not telling them anything. Remember, Mojo know you no fool, so come alone without Buttercup or Bubbles, by yourself, with no one with you, alone, yourself. Mojo."

[Error: The note says "Do not bring Buttercup and Bubbles."]

(Back to the Professor, who has been struck dumb by this message. Fade to black.)

(Snap to a close-up of the buzzing hotline in the bedroom. Bubbles answers it.)

Bubbles: Hel - (She is dealt a mighty blow.) Ow!

(Buttercup has struck the receiver from her hands and taken it for herself.)

Buttercup: I'm the leader now; I answer the hotline! (into the receiver, but holding it upside down) Powerpuff hotline.

(There is silence for several seconds, during which Bubbles looks away disgustedly. Finally, her sister glares at the unresponsive receiver.)

Buttercup: What is wrong with this stupid thing?!

Bubbles: You're holding it upside down, dum-dum-head!

(The dum-dum-head in question looks at the receiver for a moment.)

Buttercup: (dismissively) I knew that. (turning it around, speaking into it) Hello?

Professor: (over the hotline, woodenly) Bubbles, Buttercup, or whichever of the two remaining Powerpuff Girls has answered the hotline, listen closely.

(Cut to a close-up of the Professor. Mojo is holding a cell phone to the man's ear - it is white and bears the hotline's happy face. As he continues in the wooden tone, pull back to show them in the observatory. The Professor is tied up and reading from a script held before him by Mojo.)

Professor: Pay attention; concentrate intently on the words coming from my mouth. I, the Professor... (Back to the room; he is heard over the line.) ...am being held prisoner. I am being kept against my will in a location not of my choosing. If you desire my safe return, you must...

(Back to the observatory; he addresses Mojo now.)

Professor: Oh, excuse me, could you please move your finger? (Back to the room.)

Mojo: (over hotline) Sorry.

Professor: (over hotline) Thank you. (resuming) ...come to the lair of Mojo Jojo together, not alone. Independently. (He continues under the next two lines.)

Buttercup: (to Bubbles) I think we're supposed to go to Mojo's and save the Professor.

Bubbles: Again?!

(Cut to a fast-food joint, Hot Dog on a Skewer, and zoom in. Through the window, we can see a familiar little silhouette. Close-up of Blossom at the counter inside; she wears a red, yellow, and green shirt with a nametag, and what can be seen of her cap matches this color scheme - she is on the job here. Remarkably, she is actually smiling at her new frankfurter-slinging lot in life.)

Man 1: (from o.c.) Why thank you.

Blossom: I'm happy to be of service.

Man 1: (from o.c., angrily) Hey!

(Pull back a bit. The man is still not in view, but her cap is, about the size of a ten-gallon hat, with her bow stuck on top. Now her face falls.)

Man 1: (from o.c.) Where's the ketchup? (shoving a hot dog into view) You forgot the ketchup!

Blossom: Sorry. (She squirts it on; he pulls the food away.)

Man 2: (from o.c.) What is this? (Pull back; he is on the other side.) Mustard, onions, kraut...

(Close-up of Blossom; he shoves a hot dog into view. It drips with condiments but has no bun.)

Man 2: (from o.c.) ...where's the bun?! You forgot the bun! (He throws it onto the counter; pull back to frame him as he storms out, groaning.) What kind of lousy service is this?!

Blossom: Sir, wait!

(Now a mother drags her young son by the arm up to the counter. The lad is voicing his discontent quite loudly, and the woman is rather put out as well.)

Mother: Little girl, my son has been waiting for a hot dog for fifteen minutes!

Blossom: I'm sorry, ma'am. I'll get right on that.

Mother: Don't bother. (She hauls her son out, leaving Blossom alone.)

Blossom: THAT'S IT!! (kicking ketchup bottle away) I can't take this anymore! (throwing down mustard bottle) I can't even make a decent hot...

(When the mustard hits the floor, it squirts her in the face. Her fury evaporates into weary defeat.)

Blossom: ...dog. (The phone rings; she answers it.) Hot Dog on a Skewer, can I help you?

Mojo: (over the phone) No, but you can help your sisters and your dad. (Her eyes pop wide open.)

Blossom: (gasping) Mojo!

Mojo: (over the phone) That's right! I have your family. They are my captives. They are not here of their own volition.

(Cut to him at a desk in the observatory; he is using a telephone headset.)

Mojo: If you want to ensure their safety, you must hurry, make haste, come quickly, transport yourself rapidly to my observatory! And, Blossom... (Zoom in on him; the lights dim.) ...bring me two jumbo dogs. (Back to Blossom; he is heard over the line.) And don't forget the ketchup! (Mad laughter.)

Blossom: (gasping sharply) I sure hope I don't screw this up.

(Cut to inside the observatory. Blossom crashes in, her fast-food outfit gone and a pair of franks in hand, and lands facing Buttercup. Bubbles is behind her, placed so that all three are in line.)

Bubbles: Blossom! Thank goodness!

Buttercup: Am I glad to see you!

Blossom: Don't joke with me, Buttercup. I know you think I'm a jinx.

Buttercup: No, I've learned a lesson. (Cut to Bubbles and Blossom and stay on them.)

Bubbles: Me too.

Blossom: Really?

Buttercup: (from o.c.) We're a team! (Cut to behind Bubbles, framing all three.) We need to stick together.

Bubbles: Especially now!

Blossom: All right. If you say so. Let's get to work! Where's Mojo?

(A floodlight's beam falls on them from above; Blossom looks up towards its source, surprised.)

Buttercup: We were getting to that.

Mojo: (from o.c., amplified) Welcome.

(Cut to behind Blossom. Mojo is on a wall ledge at a distance in front of her, sitting in a chair on a platform within a glass booth. The floodlight is above this; his voice remains amplified until otherwise noted.)

Mojo: So nice of you to join us. I'm starving!

(The hot dogs are flung into view and splatter against the glass.)

Mojo: I'm not paying for those!

Blossom: (to her sisters) Let's go!

Buttercup: We can't.

Blossom: What are you talking about? We've beat Mojo before. We always beat Mojo!

Bubbles: No. She means, we can't move. (Mojo has his hand on a lever; the amplifier is off.)

Mojo: Let me explain.

(He throws the lever. The floor begins to shake and pull away in sections; Buttercup and Bubbles find themselves stranded on small, floating circular platforms. Blossom, near the center of the floor, gasps as she is left standing on a narrow catwalk with a large circular area at its end behind her. The catwalk runs between her sisters' perches. Red light pours up from below, and in an overhead shot, we see the source; the lava within the volcano on which the observatory stands. A network of levers connects the two free-floating platforms to a cylindrical enclosure that is mounted vertically beneath Blossom's end of the catwalk. She gets ready to charge.)

Blossom: Mojo -

Bubbles: Blossom!

Buttercup: No! (Blossom stops, but almost falls forward due to her arrested momentum.)

Blossom: What? Why?

(The end of the catwalk opens, and she looks down to find the Professor standing on a small platform of his own within the enclosure. The levers are connected to this. He is bound and gagged, and the bottom end of the enclosure is open - if he falls, he will die instantly in the lava.)

Blossom: Professor!

(He squirms and protests as best he can - not too well, that is, given the situation. Steam rises from the boiling rock below the four of them.)

Buttercup: That's why we can't move...well, we can't move off these pads, anyway.

Blossom: Well, I'm not on a pad. I can do it! (Close-up of a button on Mojo's chair arm; he reaches for it.)

Mojo: (from o.c.) That would be ill-advised. (Pull back to frame him.) You see, just as in life, everything is in a delicate balance.

[Animation goof: During Blossom's line, one shot shows the Professor with his gag gone.]

(Cut to Buttercup at the end of this. As he continues, cut to Blossom and Bubbles, then to below floor level to show just how desperate the situation really is.)

 

Mojo: (from o.c.) If Buttercup or Bubbles should move from their pads, it would offset a very delicate balance of the apparatus, tipping the Professor into the boiling magma of my volcano. (Back to him.) And you, Blossom, if you should feel a need to become foolishly brave... (The button again; he continues o.c.) ...a light touch will also send the Professor tumbling to...well, you get the picture.

Blossom: I can beat you to that button! (Back to Mojo.)

Mojo: (menacingly, reaching to it) Are you prepared to take that risk?

(Back to her. She mulls this over for a tense moment, then hangs her head.)

Blossom: What do you want?

Mojo: (from o.c.) First... (Pull back to frame him.) ...you will bow down before me! Next... (Back to Blossom; he continues o.c.) ...you will pledge your allegiance and devotion to serve me!

Blossom: How do you know I won't lie?

Mojo: Because you're Blossom.

Blossom: Shoot!

Bubbles: Don't do it, Blossom!

Buttercup: Come on, Blossom, you can think of something!

Blossom: (to herself) Think of something...

(The camera rotates away from her to point toward Mojo, then cuts to a close-up of him.)

Mojo: The decision is yours.

Blossom: (resignedly) I have no choice.

Buttercup: Blossom! (The Professor lets off a muffled shout.)

Bubbles: Oh, no!

Mojo: Yes!

(Blossom stands with her head bowed and her knees about to bend - and then stomps her end of the catwalk as hard as she can. It turns on a central pivot and launches Mojo out of his chair like a catapult. The Professor slips from his platform and tumbles to...well, you get the picture.)

Blossom: Buttercup, the Professor!

(Buttercup dives from her perch and makes her catch just in time.)

Blossom: Bubbles, Mojo!

(Bubbles flies up from hers and rushes at the plummeting Mojo, only to miss her grab.)

Bubbles: I missed!

(Mojo grabs hold of the low end of the catwalk and hangs on by his fingertips.)

Blossom: Bubbles, help Buttercup!

(The once and future boss charges in as Mojo loses his grip and hurtles into the volcano's crater. He is plucked from the air and then subjected to the usual three-course thrashing, all of which is delivered by said boss. It ends with him landing in a semi-conscious heap within a prison cell.)

Mojo: (weakly) Ohh...it was a good plan... (He groans as the cell door closes.)

(Dissolve to the exterior of Hot Dog on a Skewer and zoom in. The family can be seen through the window, enjoying a meal.)

Bubbles: That was some fast thinking, Blossom! (Cut to them inside.)

Buttercup: (her mouth full) Yeah! That was awesome, Blossom!

Blossom: Why thank you. (eyeing her hot dog) Hey! WHERE'S THE KETCHUP?!

(The standard end shot comes up.)

Narrator: (laughing) Don't be a wiener, Blossom. So once again the day is saved - thanks to the Powerpuff Girls! Hot dog!