Cows/A Cow on the Line

Ringo Starr UK Version:

 * Ringo Starr: Edward was getting old. His bearings were worn, and he clanked as he puffed along. He was taking empty cattle trucks to a market-town. The sun shone, birds sang, but Edward was heading for trouble.
 * Edward: Come on! Come on!
 * Ringo Starr: He puffed.
 * Trucks: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
 * Ringo Starr: Screamed the trucks. Edward puffed and clanked; the trucks rattled and screamed. Some cows were grazing nearby. They were not used to trains; the noise and smoke disturbed them. As Edward clanked by, they broke through the fence, and ran across the line. A coupling was broke, and some trucks were left behind. Edward felt a jerk but didn’t take much notice. He was used to trucks.
 * Edward: Bother those trucks!
 * Ringo Starr: He thought.
 * Edward: Why can’t they come quietly?
 * Ringo Starr: He was at the next station before either he or his Driver realised what had happened. When Gordon and Henry heard about the accident, they laughed and boasted.
 * Henry and Gordon: Fancy allowing cows to break his train! They wouldn’t dare do that to US. WE’d show them!
 * Ringo Starr: Toby was cross.
 * Toby: You couldn’t help it, Edward. They’ve never met cows. I have, and I know the trouble they are.
 * Ringo Starr: Some days later Gordon rushed through Edward’s station.
 * Gordon: Poop poop! Mind the cows! Hurry, hurry, hurry.
 * Ringo Starr: Puffed Gordon.
 * Coaches: Don’t make such a fuss! Don’t make such a fuss!
 * Ringo Starr: Grumbled his coaches. A long stretch of line lay ahead. In the distance was a bridge. It seemed to Gordon that there was something on the bridge. His Driver thought so too.
 * Gordon’s Driver: Whoa, Gordon.
 * Ringo Starr: He said, and shut off steam.
 * Gordon: Pooh!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: It’s only a cow! SHOOH! SHOOH!
 * Ringo Starr: He moved slowly on to the bridge. But the cow wouldn’t “Shooh”! She had lost her calf, and felt lonely. “Mooooh!” she said sadly. Everyone tried to send her away, but she wouldn’t go. Henry arrived.
 * Henry: What’s this? A cow? I’ll soon settle her. Be off! Be off!
 * Ringo Starr: “Mooooh!” said the cow. Henry backed away nervously.
 * Henry: I don’t want to hurt her.
 * Ringo Starr: At the next station, Henry’s Guard told them about the cow and warned the Signalman that the line was blocked.
 * Porter: That must be Bluebell.
 * Ringo Starr: Said the Porter.
 * Porter: Her calf is here, ready to go to market. Percy shall take it along.
 * Ringo Starr: At the bridge, Bluebell was very pleased to see her calf again, and the porter led them away.
 * Henry and Gordon: Not a word. Keep it dark.
 * Ringo Starr: Whispered Gordon and Henry to each other. They felt rather silly. But the story soon spread.
 * Edward: Well, well, well!
 * Ringo Starr: Chuckled Edward.
 * Edward: Two big engine afraid of a cow!
 * Gordon: Afraid – Rubbish.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: We didn’t want the poor thing to hurt herself by running up against us. We stopped so as not to excite her. You see what I mean, my dear Edward.
 * Edward: Yes, Gordon.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Edward. Gordon felt somehow that Edward “saw” only too well.

Ringo Starr US Version:

 * Ringo Starr: Edward was getting old. His bearings were worn, and he clanked as he puffed along. He was taking empty cattle cars to a market-town. The sun shone, birds sang, but Edward was heading for trouble.
 * Edward: Come on! Come on!
 * Ringo Starr: He puffed.
 * Freight Trucks: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
 * Ringo Starr: Screamed the cars. Edward puffed and clanked; the cars rattled and screamed. Some cows were grazing nearby. They were not used to trains; the noise and smoke disturbed them. As Edward clanked by, they broke through the fence, and ran across the line. A coupling was broke, and some cars were left behind. Edward felt a jerk but didn’t take much notice. He was used to cattle cars.
 * Edward: Bother those cars!
 * Ringo Starr: He thought.
 * Edward: Why can’t they come quietly?
 * Ringo Starr: He was at the next station before either he or his Driver realised what had happened. When Gordon and Henry heard about the accident, they laughed and boasted.
 * Henry and Gordon: Fancy allowing cows to break his train! They wouldn’t dare do that to US. WE’d show them!
 * Ringo Starr: Old Toby was cross.
 * Toby: You couldn’t help it, Edward. They’ve never met cows. I have, and I know the trouble they are.
 * Ringo Starr: Some days later Gordon rushed through Edward’s station.
 * Gordon: Poop poop! Mind the cows! Hurry, hurry, hurry.
 * Ringo Starr: Puffed Gordon.
 * Coaches: Don’t make such a fuss! Don’t make such a fuss!
 * Ringo Starr: Grumbled his coaches. A long stretch of line lay ahead. In the distance was a bridge. It seemed to Gordon that there was something on the bridge. His Driver thought so too.
 * Gordon’s Driver: Whoa, Gordon.
 * Ringo Starr: He said, and shut off steam.
 * Gordon: Pooh!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: It’s only a cow! SHOOH! SHOOH!
 * Ringo Starr: He moved slowly on to the bridge. But the cow wouldn’t “Shooh”! She had lost her calf, and felt lonely. “Mooooh!” she said sadly. Everyone tried to send her away, but she wouldn’t go. Henry arrived.
 * Henry: What’s this? A cow? I’ll soon settle her. Be off! Be off!
 * Ringo Starr: “Mooooh!” said the cow. Henry backed away nervously.
 * Henry: I don’t want to hurt her.
 * Ringo Starr: At the next station, Henry’s Conductor told them about the cow and warned the Signalman that the line was blocked.
 * Porter: That must be Bluebell.
 * Ringo Starr: Said the Porter.
 * Porter: Her calf is here, looking for her mother. Percy will take her along.
 * Ringo Starr: At the bridge, Bluebell was very pleased to see her calf again, and the porter led them away.
 * Henry and Gordon: Not a word. Keep it dark.
 * Ringo Starr: Whispered Gordon and Henry to each other. They felt rather silly. But the story soon spread.
 * Edward: Well, well, well!
 * Ringo Starr: Chuckled Edward.
 * Edward: Two big engine afraid of a cow!
 * Gordon: Afraid – Rubbish.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: We didn’t want the poor thing to hurt herself by running up against us. We stopped so as not to excite her. You see what I mean, my dear Edward.
 * Edward: Yes, Gordon.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Edward. Gordon felt somehow that Edward “saw” only too well.

George Carlin US Version:

 * George Carlin: Edward was getting old. His bearings were worn, and he clanked as he puffed along. He was taking empty cattle cars to a market-town. The sun shone, birds sang, but Edward was heading for trouble.
 * Edward: Come on! Come on!
 * George Carlin: He puffed.
 * Freight Trucks: Oh! Oh!
 * George Carlin: Screamed the cars. Edward puffed and clanked; the cars rattled and screamed. Some cows were grazing nearby. They were not used to trains; the noise and smoke disturbed them. As Edward clanked by, they broke through the fence, and ran across the line. A coupling was broke, and some cars were left behind. Edward felt a jerk but didn’t take much notice. He was used to cattle cars.
 * Edward: Bother those cars!
 * George Carlin: He thought.
 * Edward: Why can’t they come quietly?
 * George Carlin: He was at the next station before either he or his Driver realised what had happened. When Gordon and Henry heard about the accident, they laughed and boasted.
 * Henry and Gordon: Fancy allowing cows to break your train! They wouldn’t dare do that to US. WE’d show them!
 * George Carlin: Old Toby was cross.
 * Toby: You couldn’t help it, Edward. They’ve never met cows. I have, and I know the trouble they are.
 * George Carlin: Some days later Gordon rushed through Edward’s station.
 * Gordon: Poop poop! Mind the cows! Hurry, hurry.
 * George Carlin: Puffed Gordon.
 * Coaches: Don’t make such a fuss! Don’t make such a fuss!
 * George Carlin: Grumbled his coaches. A long stretch of line lay ahead. In the distance was a bridge. It seemed to Gordon that there was something on the bridge. His Driver thought so too.
 * Gordon’s Driver: Whoa, Gordon.
 * George Carlin: He said, and shut off steam.
 * Gordon: Pooh!
 * George Carlin: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: It’s only a cow! SHOOH! SHOOH!
 * George Carlin: He moved slowly on to the bridge. But the cow wouldn’t “Shooh”! She had lost her calf, and felt lonely. “Mooooh!” she said sadly. Everyone tried to send her away, but she wouldn’t go. Henry arrived.
 * Henry: What’s this? A cow? I’ll soon settle her. Be off! Be off!
 * George Carlin: “Mooooh!” Henry backed away nervously.
 * Henry: I don’t want to hurt her.
 * George Carlin: At the next station, Henry’s Conductor told them about the cow and warned the Signalman that the line was blocked.
 * Porter: That must be Bluebell.
 * George Carlin: Said the Porter.
 * Porter: Her calf is here, looking for her mother. Percy will take her along.
 * George Carlin: At the bridge, Bluebell was very pleased to see her calf again, and the porter led them away.
 * Henry and Gordon: Not a word. Keep it secret.
 * George Carlin: Whispered Gordon and Henry to each other. They felt rather silly. But the story soon spread.
 * Edward: Well, well, well!
 * George Carlin: Chuckled Edward.
 * Edward: Two big engine afraid of a cow!
 * Gordon: Afraid – Rubbish.
 * George Carlin: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: We didn’t want the poor thing to hurt herself by running up against us. We stopped so as not to excite her. You see what I mean, my dear Edward.
 * Edward: Yes, Gordon.
 * George Carlin: Said Edward. Gordon felt somehow that Edward “saw” only too well.