Cop Cow

The Beginning
(The scene opens up with Otis bringing in a rusty garbage can) (They load the cannon with the garbage) (They played a cannon version of Spin the Bottle) (But the mess landed in the middle of the road and made Officer Fred drive into a tree) (The anvil lands on Officer Fred's foot and he screamed in pain) (An ambulance takes Officer Fred away) (Later, at Mayor office, the Mayor is playing a video game) (Everyone was playing card until they heard a siren) (Everyone came out surprised and amazed when they saw Otis in police uniform) (Everyone wanted to head to the car) (Flashback to when Pig was a speed ticketer) (Driver takes off) (Everyone drove in the police car)
 * Otis: Guys, I found out what's been stinking up the barn for the last 3 weeks.
 * Sunset Shimmer: What is it?
 * Human Rarity: Looks disgusting.
 * Sora: And smells disgusting.
 * Scruffy: I've smelled alot of thing but that takes the cake.
 * Pip: Is it toxic sludge?
 * Peck: Is it Expired fish paste?
 * Luan: Lily's smelly diapers?
 * Lily: (raspberry)
 * Freddy: Pig's old gym clothes?
 * Otis: Yes. Now, to dispose of this junk in a safe and non-hazardous manner.
 * Winnie the Pooh: Does it involve the shooting it somewhere else?
 * Otis: Yes it does.
 * Abby: I'll get the giant cannon.
 * Peck: Lock and loaded.
 * Otis: Excellent. (to Freddy) Now, make sure you aim in a precise scientific manner.
 * Freddy: Right. (Closes his eyes)
 * Otis: (shoots the cannon) Nice work, everyone. That mess won't be troubling us anymore.
 * Human Fluttershy: Um, you might we to look again.
 * Otis: Oh, that's not good.
 * Eeyore: To make the story short, uh oh.
 * Officer Fred: (comes out dizzy) Wow, that was a close one. It's all right, mustache. You're safe now. Oh, you're so brave and bushy.
 * Spike the dog: He's alright.
 * Everyone: (reveled)
 * Freddy: Now let's get rid of this anvil.
 * Cosmo: FIRE!!!
 * Human Rainbow Dash: Who shot that anvil?!
 * Freddy: Peck did it.
 * Rabbit: (moans)
 * Lisa: The paramedics says he'll be alright but it gonna take a few days to get him back on his feet.
 * Winnie the Pooh: Oh bother.
 * Abby: Poor Officer Fred.
 * Pip: Now who's gonna give out parking tickets?
 * Peck: And get cats out of trees?
 * Mickey Mouse: Stop criminals from bank robberies?
 * Pig: And keep us safe from swamp goblins?
 * Otis: Worry not. I have a barely formulated plan that has a slim chance of not failing.
 * Otis: (disguised) I am a human man who would like to apply for the police human position.
 * Mayor: You got the job.
 * Otis: Really? Isn't there some kind of cop test you want me to take?
 * Mayor: Good idea. What's a red light mean?
 * Otis: Oh, red light. (thinking) Oh wait. Oh, I know this one. Oh, um... fruit merchants crossing.
 * Mayor: You got the job.
 * Otis: Really? I not even sure that that was--
 * Mayor: Too late. You got the job. Get out.
 * Otis: Are you positive? 'Cause I--
 * Mayor: You got the job
 * Otis: I'm actually--
 * Mayor: Job.
 * Otis: Okay.
 * Mayor: Got. Out. Get.
 * Otis: I'm actually...
 * Mayor: Now.
 * Otis: Just a cow. I'm not even a person--
 * Mayor: Job, gotten.
 * Otis: Your not listening to anything I'm saying, are you?
 * Mayor: Out. Get.
 * Piglet: What was that?
 * Otis: Attention, Barn animals, kids, and fairies! This is the fun police. Come out with your party on.
 * Timmy Turner: Dude, you look awesome.
 * Mickey Mouse: So amazing.
 * Luna: You're rocking the style, dude.
 * Goofy: I agree.
 * Otis: Yep, I got a badge and pants and everything.
 * Otis: Guys, Guys, I can't allow non-commissioned civilians to use official city equipment.
 * All: (Groans)
 * Otis: Which is why I'm going deputized you!. Badges for everyone.
 * Everyone: (excited)
 * Donald Duck: Sweet, we're police officers.
 * Lola: This is perfect practice for hall montering at school. We already locked up Luan for telling bad jokes.
 * Luan: Hey! Did you hear the one about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months! Get it?
 * Lola: That's five more minutes, dirt bag!
 * Otis: Here you go Pig.
 * Pig: (denies the badge) No thanks, Otis. Let's just say I'm not cut out for law enforcement.
 * Pig: What makes you think you can go 180?
 * Man: Uh.. I'm having a baby?
 * Pig: A baby? Well why didn't you say so? Go, go!
 * Otis: I see. Well, how about we make you official donut getter instead?
 * Pig: What does it pay?
 * Otis: Zero dollars.
 * Pig: Then I'm in.
 * Abby: Me and Sunset wanna be dispatchers.
 * Pip: I'll head off the cheese crime unit.
 * Peck: Dibs on Meter Maid.
 * Freddy: Dibs of Assistant Meter Maid.
 * Otis: Yes, weird, yes, and stop talking. Ok, let's do police things.

The Middle
(The follow day, at downtown) (They tackle the man) (Elsewhere, Cosmo and Freddy are ticketing a car) (Later in the park) (They meet up with the others) (Back at the station, Everyone plays Spin the Taser and it lands on Freddy and Cosmo) (Pig comes in with donuts) (Everyone comes in for donuts, when a call comes in) (Everyone went out to the donut store to check out the crime) (The computer started to scan the footprint) (3 familiar pictures showed up) (Few mintues later) (Snotty skateboards away) (They are catching up to Snotty) (They tackled Snotty Boy) (A tag falls out) (Back at the police station) (A phone goes off) (At Mrs. Beady's House)
 * Otis: (looking at a man) Officers, look at that suspicious character.
 * Lincoln: What's the problem? It's just a guy carrying his lunch.
 * Otis: Guy carrying his lunch or cyber terror mastermind taking to-secret defense plan to spy master's drop off point!
 * Winnie the Pooh: When you put it that way--
 * Pip: Let's take him down.
 * Tigger: After that spy!
 * Otis: Hold right there.
 * Sora: Dog pile!
 * Man: Hey, that's my lunch.
 * Otis: Ha! A likely story. What's in the bag, Officer Pip?
 * Pip: Looks like peanut butter and jelly.
 * Lincoln: Oops.
 * Tigger: I think we're in big trouble.
 * Winnie the Pooh: Oh bother.
 * Otis: Ah, Well, perhaps next time get a license before you put--RUN AWAY!
 * Cosmo: This is breaking a lot laws.
 * Freddy: (writing tickets) Expired tags. Missing hove-cap. Assertive tire pressure. Stupid color.
 * Wanda: What are you two doing?
 * Cosmo: Writing tickets for this illegally parked car.
 * Peck: Uh, Cosmo? I think this is our car.
 * Freddy: Back talk eh? (Pulls up pepper spray)
 * Goofy: Freddy, your holding it--
 * Freddy: (sprayed himself) AHHHH!!! Officer down! Officer down!
 * Otis: All right, buddy, stop right there.
 * Tigger: That's a statue.
 * Otis: Right, carry on citizen.
 * Freddy: Otis, we're bored.
 * Peck: Yeah, there's no crime in this town.
 * Timmy Turner: This is even more boring than school or listening to my parents, or both.
 * Lincoln: Yeah, I've been listening to the scanner all day and the worst crime I've heard about is someone not picking up their dog poop.
 * Lana: Where? I'll pick it up!
 * Human Fluttershy: So, what should we do now?
 * Otis: Well we could go door to door informing citizen about county water regulations.
 * All: (Thinking)
 * Pip: Or we could go back to the station and a play Spin the Taser.
 * All: (agreeing)
 * Freddy: Again? It's must our lucky day. (shocked)
 * Cosmo: (shocked) Mmmm. Burnt tongue flavor.
 * Pig: Who wants donuts?
 * Abby: Ooo, call.
 * Sunset Shimmer: Wonder what's going on?
 * Abby: Police Department. Dispatch Officer Abby and Sunset speaking. (person talking) What's that?
 * Sunset Shimmer: Hey guys, a masked bandit just stole all fresh donuts from the donut store!
 * Tigger: (mutters gibberish and gasps) WHAT!?!?
 * Piglet: WHAT!!?!?
 * Pooh: WHAT!?!?!
 * Rabbit: WHAT!?!?!?
 * Eeyore: HUH!?!??!
 * Timmy Turner: What?!?
 * Cosmo and Wanda: What?!?
 * Lincoln: WHAT?!?!
 * Girl Louds: WHAT!?!?!
 * Scruffy: What?
 * Sunset Shimmer: Wait, what?!?
 * Human Pinkie Pie: WHAT!!?!?
 * Mickey, Donald and Sora: What?!?!
 * Goofy: Huh!?!
 * Pig: The donut store? I was just there, I could've been killed.
 * Otis: A real crime. This is what we been waiting for. Come on, deuties.
 * Otis: Freddy, Cosmo, anything on the store security camera?
 * Cosmo: Nothing.
 * Freddy: (strecthing the video) Yeah, just a bunch of brown tape.
 * Otis: You're an idiot. Pip, any clues?
 * Spike the dog: (sniffing) I found something.
 * Pip: We got a footprint.
 * Peck: And it looks like a size 8.
 * Freddy: So we're looking for someone with a foot.
 * Otis: Still an idiot. To the Foot Print Database!
 * Computer: Processing. 3 matches found.
 * Otis: And they said this was a waste of $48 million dollars.
 * Donald Duck: Snotty Boy.
 * Human Rarity: Mrs. Beady.
 * All: The farmer?!?!
 * Otis: No way it's him! This has Snotty's stink all over it.
 * Freddy: Here, let me spray some air freshener. (pulls out can)
 * Sci-Twi: Wait, that's the---
 * Freddy: (sprays himself with pepper spray) I need backup.
 * Sci-Twi: Pepper spray.
 * Otis: Okay, guys. Be on the lookout for a 4-foot, redheaded sack of hate.
 * Cosmo: Roger.
 * Scruffy: No, his name is Otis.
 * Freddy: He's know. We we're talking to Roger. Roger, could you file this report with the D.A. and tell we're still on for golf tomorrow?
 * Roger: 10-4.
 * Freddy: Actually, we need it done by 9:00. Now go!
 * Roger: (jumps out of the car) I love jumping out of cars.
 * Pluto: (starts barking)
 * Mickey Mouse: What is it boy?
 * Human Applejack: Guys, there's Snotty Boy.
 * Pip: And he's got a bag of donuts.
 * Otis: Stop in the name of the long udder of the law.
 * Lana: He's making a run for it!
 * Otis: (sees a boy on a bike) Police. I need to borrow your tricycle. (takes the bike) Let's ride. (takes off)
 * Freddy: (licks the boy's ice cream)
 * Human Pinkie Pie: Freddy?!!?
 * Otis: Boys, take him down.
 * Snotty Boy: Stupid tricycle cops. You have nothing on me.
 * Otis: Aha! Donuts.
 * Pip: And a receipt for their purchase.
 * Otis: What!?! Milk me.
 * Eeyore: To make the story short, uh oh.
 * Snotty Boy: You guys are the worst cops ever. You should be on that show, Real Stories of the Stupidest Cops in the World.
 * Narrator: Real Stories of the Stupidest Cops in the World.
 * Cop: You're going away for a long time, buddy. (locks the cell, on the other side while the criminal escapes) Ah, nuts.
 * Snotty Boy: Here, have a roundy, stupid cop. (throws donuts)
 * Otis: Thanks you for helping us with our training exercise.
 * Snotty Boy: Wait, this wasn't--
 * Otis: Carry on.
 * Pig: Hey guys, got a new batch of donuts for the kitchen!
 * Lori: Thanks!
 * Pig: Boy those donut people are really nice. They keep--
 * Abby: Hold on Pig. Police Department. Dispatch officer Abby and Sunset speaking. (listens) What!?!
 * Sunset Shimmer: Calling Otis! The masked bandit just robbed another batch of donuts.
 * Human Applejack: That's the second time today.
 * Pig: Say what? I just left the place. Boy, my donut angel was really looking out for me. Thank you, Donut angel!
 * Angel: No problem, honey. (eats a donut)
 * Human Fluttershy: What are we doing here?
 * Human Rainbow Dash: I thought we're back to the donut store
 * Otis: Sunset's call came in two minutes ago. I guessing the other size 8 is already eating the loot.
 * Peck: Police! Open up!
 * Mrs. Beady: Hello?
 * Otis: You're under arrest for grand theft donut.
 * Pip: You're going away for a long time.
 * Lana: Freddy, cuff her!
 * Mrs. Beady: But officers, I've been hear all morning.
 * Lola: Lana, is this maggot giving you lip?
 * Otis: Oh really? Then how you explain that plates of donuts on your table?
 * Mrs. Beady: I just made those with my own hands.
 * Otis: A likely story. (takes one)
 * Mrs.Beady: Oh careful. Those are--
 * Otis: (started to burn) AH, SWEET CUD, THAT HOT!!! MY FACE FLESH IS MELTING!!!! Well your story checks out. Come on, guys ,let's get out of here.
 * Mrs. Beady: Wait, where are you going? What about these handcuffs? Hello!?!?

The Ending
(At the Farmer's House) (They rammed into the house) (They heard a truck taking off) (At the Donut shop) (The masked man comes in) (They all jump on the robber) (Flashback) (Flashback ends) (Officer Fred comes in) (On Real Stories of the Stupidest Cops in the World) THE END!
 * Otis: Two suspects down. I hate to say it, guys. But it looks like the farmer is our donut bandit.
 * Everyone: (in despression)
 * Rabbit: Oh dear. Mercy me
 * Piglet: Oh dear. Mercy me too.
 * Otis: But at least now we can try out our new battering ram. (pulls up Roger)
 * Roger: Let's rock and roll.
 * Lucy: He's not here.
 * Otis: Okay, Farmer, come out with your--
 * Lynn: There he goes!
 * Pip: He's getting away!
 * Peck: Probably to steal more donuts.
 * Otis: Not if we get there first.
 * Roger: That all you need?
 * Otis: Ok guys, this stakeout should nabbed us our perp. Ready Abby?
 * Abby: Ready.
 * Otis: Freddy, Peck?
 * Both: Ready.
 * Otis: Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, Rabbit, Eeyore, Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Mickey, Donald Goofy, Applejack, Sci-Twi, Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Shimmer, Pinkie?
 * Winnie the Pooh: We're ready, Otis.
 * Otis: What about the Louds?
 * Loud's Sisters: (yelling) WE ARE! (whispers) We are.
 * Otis: Okay guys. The Farmer should be here any minute.
 * Pip: (outside) Otis, Otis! There's a masked man heading into the store.
 * Abby: Hello ordinary costumer. Welcome to the Donut Store. How may I--TAKE HIM DOWN!!!!
 * Rabbit: Take no Prisoners!
 * Mickey Mouse: Let's Get him!
 * Otis: Police tackle!
 * Peck: Freeze, dirtbag!
 * Freddy: (sprayed himself) AHH, MY EYES!!! (sprays Peck)
 * Luna: We got him!
 * Otis: (takes off the mask) Aha! Huh?
 * Tigger: (mutters gibberish and gasps) WHAT!?!?
 * Piglet: WHAT!!?!?
 * Pooh: WHAT!?!?!
 * Rabbit: WHAT!?!?!?
 * Eeyore: HUH!?!??!
 * Timmy Turner: WHAT?!?!
 * Cosmo and Wanda: What?!?!
 * Lincoln: WHAT?!?!
 * Girl Louds: WHAT!?!?!
 * Sunset Shimmer: Wait, what?!?!
 * Human Pinkie Pie: WHAT!!?!?
 * Mickey, Donald and Goofy: What?!?!
 * All: Pig!?!?
 * Otis: Pig, your ruining the whole stakeout!
 * Goofy: I'm think Pig is the thief.
 * Pig: I am not.
 * Otis: Then how do you explain the ski mask and cat burglar outfit?
 * Pig: Oh, I just put this on so no one I'm a pig, and for some reason I keep getting free donuts.
 * Pig: Give me 3 vanillia sprinkles, a couple of old fashions and 46 jelly fills and make it snappy!
 * Worker: Don't hurt me!
 * Otis: Gee Pig. Did you ever wonder why the donuts were free?
 * Pig: I did not.
 * Leni: I did not see that coming.
 * Cosmo: Yeah, or did we?
 * Wanda: Did we?
 * Cosmo: I don't know.
 * Officer Fred: Nice work, guys. I'll take it from here.
 * All: Officer Fred!?!?
 * Officer Fred: Fully recovered and back on duty. So where's the perp?
 * Otis: Right, the perp. Yes, well--Look over there! (Fred searches and Otis puts a mask on a plant) Now look over here!
 * Officer Fred: I got him! Police Tackle! (beats up plant) You're mine, buddy. Don't make this ugly. Hands where I can see them!
 * Otis: I think it's time to leave.
 * Pig: Oh, hold on. I still haven't put my order in.
 * All: Pig!
 * Otis: Come on.
 * Officer Fred: You're going away for a long time, buddy. (locks the cell, on the other side while the plant escapes) Ah, nuts.