Plague of Babies

It is night. The Voot Cruiser hurtles from the sky towards Zim's house, smoke spewing out of the back of it. Inside, Zim and GIR scream (both of them out of their disguises), GIR holding a hotdog. Sparks of electricity flicker on the inside of the Voot Cruiser. Zim quickly hits some buttons on the control panel. The roof of Zim's house opens up, and the Voot Cruiser flies over it and then drops inside.

Zim: Computer! Repair bay.

GIR sucks on a SuckMunkey slushie in a plastic suck munkey cup made to look like a monkey. GIR stops sucking and coughs.

Zim: After we fix the Voot Cruiser, GIR, I wanna run a few tests on your artificial intelligence chip.

The roof starts to close over the Voot Cruiser.

Zim: It seems to be... bad. I- UH!

Zim notices the silhouette of a baby watching from the window of a neighbor's house right before the roof closes completely.

Zim: Oh no!

The living room floor opens up and the Voot Cruiser lowers down. Zim hops off of it onto the floor as the Voot Runner lowers towards the repair bay.

Zim: Hurry GIR! The mission's been compromised! I think we've been seen out of our disguises... by a human!

GIR: But Dib's seen us before.

GIR hops off of the Voot Cruiser onto the floor next to Zim as the Voot Cruiser lowers completely beneath the floor.

GIR: And he knows where we live.

Zim chuckles.

Zim: Dib. No, this is different. This is serious.

GIR screams. He walks over to the TV making 'doo dee doo' noises. He turns it on to the Scary Monkey Show. The scary monkey growls.

Zim: GIR!

GIR: Oh yeah.

GIR screams and then follows Zim out. Cut to the back of Zim's house. On the wall, electricity creates a window. On the other side of the wall, Zim peers out the new window. His insectoid binocular helmet extends over his face. He moans.

Zim: Yes! A spy! In the top window of that house! Something must be done before he gets to the Earth authorities!

GIR pops up next to Zim and looks out the window.

Zim: Who knows what-

GIR: Awww... He's cute! And stinky lookin'!

Zim leaps backwards and his binocular helmet retracts.

Zim: Cute!?! This is a serious threat to our mission!

GIR: He's just a baby!

GIR flips on a light switch and waves at the baby.

GIR: Hi baby!

Zim tackles GIR and shuts off the light. The baby breaths heavily creating fog on the window of its bedroom. Zim holds GIR down.

Zim: What are you doing!?! It'll see you!

GIR: So?

Zim: You think it's not a threat?

GIR nods.

Zim: As far as we know that's exactly what it wants us to think, GIR! I must find out what it knows!

Electricity shoots from the window making it disappear. Zim stands outside of the neighbor's house wearing a modified disguise, holding a clipboard and a pen. The new disguise includes a coat, a fake mustache and eyebrows, a red rubber nose, and a headlight helmet. Zim rings the doorbell. The baby's mother, who has a band-aid on her head, answers the door.

Mother: Yes?

Zim: I am the neighborhood baby inspector! I have come to inspect the baby.

Mother: Oh goodness! Inspect him for what?

Zim: Your resistance will be noted!

Mother: Oh...

Zim walks inside.

Zim: Where may I interrogate the little one?

Mother: Well what's wrong with Noogums? He's always so well behaved, I uh-

Zim: There's probably nothing to worry about, but we just wanna to be sure.

Zim looks over at a row of pictures on the wall of Noogums over the years. They show Noogums from when he was 1-7, and he looks identical in every picture.

Mother: He's upstairs, I'll go get him.

Zim is already at the top of the staircase.

Zim: Stay! Due to the threat of contamination, I must speak with Noogums alone.

Mother: Oh my...

Zim walks into Noogums' room. It is a typical baby's room, with a crib and toys scattered everywhere. Noogums sits on the floor playing with blocks.

Zim: And you must be Noogums. Cease the silent act, sticky worm!

Zim walks up and knocks away some of Noogum's blocks.

Zim: Your pathetic facade is as transparent as the drool on your face. What are you up too?

Noogum's pupils shake. He drools. He then smiles as he starts to wet himself.

Zim: Tell me what you know! I will not be-

Zim sniffs Noogums and screams.

Zim: What is that (Zim screams again) stink!?!

Zim groans.

Zim: Some kind of defense mechanism!

Zim falls to the ground.

Zim: So powerful... Smell!

Zim crawls across the carpet, groaning. His rubber nose and one of his eyebrows fall off. A stack of stuffed animals falls on top of him. He bursts out of the pile and screams. He then runs away. Noogums simply watches, drooling. In the repair bay of Zim's lab, a mechanical arm works on the Voot Cruiser, sending out sparks of electricity. The arm retracts into a large mechanical arm that it was extending from. More mechanical arms unfold from another larger mechanical arm. Zim is out of disguise.

Zim: The human (Zim gags) infant is much stronger than I (Zim gags) suspected. I'll have to use a higher percentage of my brain skills to outwit him.

A spider-like hovering device flies by in the foreground. Zim gags, putting his hands over his mouth. In the background, GIR (who is out of disguise) has wires attached to the top of his head. The wires are connected to a power amplifier. GIR presses a button on the power amplifier and blue electricity surges through him, lifting him off of the ground. GIR howls. The electricity goes out and GIR drops back to the ground.

Zim: Either that or through some miracle of chance.

GIR presses some more buttons on the power amplifier. GIR is lifted into the air, sending out a wave of the blue energy.

Zim: You were right about him being harmless. Perhaps I overestimated him, or underestimated m-

Zim groans as the blue wave sweeps over him, making him stupid. His eye color goes solid and he fills to the ground, groaning. The wave drifts away. Zim twitches. Zim's Irken utility pack blinks.

Computer: Reactivate.

Electricity surges through Zim's body. Zim recovers, smoke drifting from him. He gets up and sees GIR floating in the air with the blue energy surrounding him.

Zim: GIR! Get away from that power amplifier!

GIR: But I-

The blue energy dies down and GIR lowers to the ground.

Zim: I should worry less about what a baby can do, and worry more about the damage you can do.

Zim grabs the wires attached to GIR's head and yanks them out. He lets go of them, and they recoil back into the power amplifier.

Zim: Stay away from the power amplifier! It's sending out deadly waves of stupidness!

The doorbell rings. Zim looks up.

Zim: Hmmm?

Zim screams.

Zim: The doorbell! But the security system should have warned me as soon as anything set foot in the perimeter!

Zim grabs onto one of the larger mechanical arms. It lifts him up to a higher level where the exit is. Zim drops off of it as the door opens. Zim exits. GIR grabs one of the wires from the power amplifier and attaches it to his head. He lifts above the ground, creating a field of blue energy around him. Outside of Zim's house, Zim peers out of the door, now in disguise. Zim glances around and then shuts the door after finding nothing.

Zim: Computer, run a diagnostic on the doorbe-

Zim stops mid-sentence as he turns around to see a crowd of babies huddled in the center of the living room, with Noogums in the front.

Zim: What are you babies doing here!?! Get out! Shoo! At least I know why the alarm didn't go off.

Noogums' eye twitches.

Zim: You're too small to-

Noogums yells at Zim in a deep voice.

Noogums: Seize the enemy!

The babies run towards Zim.

Zim: What are you-? Noooo!

The babies leap on Zim. Cut to Zim tied to a chair in the living room, out of disguise except for his left contact. One of the babies yoinks the contact out.

Zim: Noogums, I should've known.

Noogums: Don't call me by that name. It is demeaning to a leader of the proud and fierce race of the Nhar-Gh'ok to be dubbed Noogums.

Zim: What should I call you then?

Noogums: Shnooky! Gorkspace Sergeant Shnooky!

Zim: I knew it! Earth babies come from space!

Shnooky (formerly known as Noogums): No. Our people look exactly like human babies. But we didn't know that when we landed here seven years ago.

Flashback to seven years ago, in the maternity ward of a hospital. The Nhar-Gh'ok soldiers crouch up against a wall.

Shnooky (voice over): It was our first information gathering mission on this planet. Everything was going fine until-

A nurse walks by. Once she is out of sight, Shnooky carefully peers out of the hallway. Private Fooby gives a hand motion from a nearby hallway. Shnooky motions to the soldiers with him. A Nhar-Gh'ok soldier in the very back of the soldiers behind Shnooky runs forward and out of cover. More follow, hiding behind objects in the hallway before running back into the open and then into the hallway where Private Fooby is. The hallway is dark.

Shnooky: Report, Private Fooby.

Private Fooby: You won't believe it, sir!

The Nhar-Gh'ok soldiers peer above into a window. On the other side of the window is the human maternaty ward.

Shnooky (voice over): Private Fooby had found the human maternity ward. We thought that somehow, the Earth military was keeping our people hostage. How could we have known any better? And then, disaster!

Suddenly, the light switch goes on. The soldiers scatter. Some of them launch grappling hooks into the ceiling and pull themselves upwards. Shnooky and Fooby hop into the laundry bin.

Shnooky (voice over): Fooby panicked and hailed the mother ship, calling for emergency rescue.

In the maternity ward, the babies get sucked out of their cribs right before a Red Cross soldier walks by.

Shnooky (voice over): He gave the wrong coordinates.

The Red Cross soldier walks over to the laundry bin and sees one of their feet sticking out. He chuckles and pulls out Shnooky and Fooby by their feet.

Red Cross soldier: How'd you little fellas get out here?

The two Nhar-Gh'ok soldiers clinging to the ceiling fall off as the ceiling tile breaks. They fall right into the Red Cross soldiers arms.

Shnooky (voice over): They eventually caught the entire landing party.

One Nhar-Gh'ok soldier is found when the Red Cross soldier lifts off the top of a trash bin. Another is found when a doctor cuts open the bandages on a patients head and finds the Nhar-Gh'ok inside.

Shnooky (voice over): By the time we were left alone long enough to call the mother ship again, it was out of range.

Another Nhar-Gh'ok is found in the Urine Sample Storage locker.

Shnooky (Voice over): They left us here, stranded.

The Nhar-Gh'ok soldiers are put in the maternity ward cribs, now in baby clothes.

Shnooky (voice over): We had no choice but to assume the identities of the babies that had been beamed aboard the ship.

One of the Nhar-Gh'ok soldiers cries. The flashback ends.

Shnooky: It's been seven long years since that terrible night.

Zim: What do you want with me?

Shnooky: Your ship! We're going home.

Zim: You can't take my ship, it's mine!

Shnooky: We'll tell the humans all about you if you resist us!

Zim: Computer! Open the entrance to storage room two!

Zim hops with the chair he is tied to and uses it to knock away the two Nhar-Gh'oks standing on either side of him. The couch starts to rise, revealing the entrance to the storage level. Zim grunts as he hops backwards in the chair into the entrance. Zim falls a long way down. When he reaches the storage level, he hits the ground, breaking apart the chair. Zim grunts.

Shnooky: Get him! Eat his feet off!

The Nhar-Gh'oks hiss, revealing sharp teeth. Their eyes bulge out and go pupil-less. The couch lowers to cover the entrance of storage level 2, but the Nhar-Gh'oks place a toy piggy under it to keep it from lower all of the way. They then lift the couch back up. Zim screams as the toy piggy falls and hits him on the head. Zim runs over to the elevator shaft. He pants as he goes inside the elevator.

Zim: Computer, take me down to the Voot Cruiser repair bay.

Zim falls over as the elevator shakes. The sound of the Nhar-Gh'oks laughing evilly is heard. The Nhar-Gh'oks pound dents into the top of the elevator.

Zim: The ship is mine Noogums, or Shmoogy, or whatever your name is!

Shnooky: It's Shnooky!

Zim: It's invader property! You won't get your filthy little nub hands on it!

Four mechanical spider legs extend from Zim's Irken Utility pack. They curl in front of Zim and created a square shaped welding tool. The welding tool sends a blast through the elevator shaft, knocking out a square shaped chunk of the elevator wall. Zim crawls into that space. From that space, Zim watches as the elevator continues to go down with the Nhar-Gh'oks on top of it. Zim uses the mechanical spider legs to scamper around. Zim finds a grate covering a shaft. Zim removes the grate. The spider legs latch together to create two prongs. The prongs create an energy shield around Zim. Zim slides down the shaft with his energy shield. The shaft ends right above the Voot Cruiser. Zim falls on top of the voot cruiser, causing his shield to go out. He bounces off of the ship and falls to the ground. He looks over and sees GIR beat boxing into one of the wires of the power amplifier while he stands on the power amplifier.

Zim: GIR!

GIR: Yes?

Zim walks over using the mechanical spider legs.

Zim: The babies are inside the base, GIR.

Zim uses one of the spider legs to grab GIR and put him on the floor.

Zim: They're after the Voot Cruiser.

GIR: I like babies!

Zim: I have to get the cruiser out of here!

Zim uses the spider legs to crawl into the Voot Cruiser. The spider legs retract back into the Irken Utility Pack.

Zim: I only hope the repairs are finished. You hold the babies off while I-

GIR: I'm gonna play with the babies!

Zim presses a button on the Voot Cruiser control panel.

Computer: Malfunction.

Zim groans as a blanket thing wraps around him and grips him tightly and two pads from the ceiling extend down to cover Zim's head. The Nhar-Gh'oks laugh evilly as they start pounding on the door to the repair bay. Zim gasps as he struggles to get out of the thing wrapped around him. In the background, GIR attaches wires from the power amplifier to his head.

Zim: They're getting in, GIR! Do something!

GIR: Okay!

GIR turns the power amplifier on. He shouts happily as he flies into the air, the blue energy surrounding him. Zim gets out of the thing wrapped around him and hops out of the Voot Cruiser. He runs towards the power amplifier, dodging GIR's energy wave. Zim makes it to the power amplifier and shuts it off, sending GIR to the floor. Suddenly, the Nhar-Gh'oks burn through the door using acid saliva.

GIR: Babies!

The Nhar-Gh'oks run towards Zim.

Shnooky: We will take your ship, and for the trouble you caused, we're going to destroy your base, leaving you stranded here, just like we were. And we'll tell the humans all about you. Now my minions, form Giganto Baby!

All of the Nhar-Gh'oks jump into Shnooky, melding together to form one large mass. The mass of babies still has the faces of the Nhar-Gh'oks sticking out. Zim gasps. Zim mass sprouts out two lumps of babies connected to the original mass as feet. The Giganto-Baby stands up. It is wearing diapers. Another lump attached to the original mass sprouts out as an arm. Yet another lump begins to sprout, but it gets stuck. Giganto Baby uses its one arm to help pull the new lump out, creating a second arm. One of the babies projects an electronic face from its mouth. Giganto Baby starts tearing up the ground around it. It yanks on a wire, causing an explosion. Zim uses his spider legs to hop into the air and grab one of the smaller mechanical arms. He swings on it over to Giganto Baby and sticks it into the top of Giganto Baby, falling through its view screen head. Zim grunts as he struggles to jump away. Giganto Baby tugs on the mechanical arm, pulling down the larger mechanical arm. The larger mechanical arm falls on top of it. Zim falls to the ground next to Giganto Baby. One of the Nhar-Gh'oks pops out of Giganto Baby and swings a claw at Zim. That Nhar-Gh'ok then jumps back into Giganto Baby and hisses.

Zim: Hey, quit it!

Zim kicks Giganto Baby. The Nhar-Gh'ok frowns. Giganto Baby uses one of its arms to knock Zim against the wall. Zim groans.

GIR: Wooo-hooo!

GIR pulls out a large drumstick from a bucket of fried chicken and prepares to eat it. Giganto Baby gets back up. Zim uses his mechanical spider legs to spring away as Giganto Baby launches a fist at him. Zim scampers away, narrowly avoiding fist after fist. Zim grunts as he crawls past wires, the Giganto Baby close behind. The Giganto Baby breaks apart one wire, causing an explosion. GIR dips his chicken drumstick in mayo while wearing the empty bucket of fried chicken on his head. He eats all of the chicken off of the bone in one bite. Giganto Baby gets tangled in the wires. Zim makes it out and reaches the platform where GIR is. GIR dips a live, featherless chicken in mayo and lifts it towards his mouth.

Zim: The amplifier!

Zim grabs GIR and attaches GIR's head to the wires of the power amplifier. Giganto Baby breaks through the wires and lifts up. Zim dangles GIR down in front of Giganto Baby, then turns the amplifier on at full power. GIR screams as the blue energy overtakes the room. It blasts upwards, so the platform underneath Zim protects him from getting hit. Giganto Baby is engulfed in the energy.

Giganto Baby: Am...dumb!

Giganto Baby screams. The power amplifier shuts off and Giganto Baby falls apart into individual Nhar-Gh'oks. The Nhar-Gh'oks cry. GIR dangles from the wires, smoking. Zim climbs down to where the Nhar-Gh'oks are with the help of his mechanical spider legs.

Zim: It worked!

GIR: Aw... I wanted to explode!

Later, Shnooky is launched through the window of his room and bounces against the wall into his crib. He starts drooling. At Zim's house, a baby launcher sticks out of the new window. The baby launcher retracts.

GIR: Bye, baby!

Zim groans and knocks him down. The window disappears. Shnooky lies in his crib.