Purple Giraffe

"Lily"

- Look who I ran into.

"Ted"

- I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.

"Marshall"

- So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Robin shows up?

"Barney"

- Solid plan, my little friend.

"Marshall"

- Hey, where the hell is my...oh! OK. Introduction to Contract Tort and Restitution Statutes from 1865 to 1923 is not a coaster! Ted! I'm jeopardizing my law career so you can throw, not one, not two, but three parties for some girl that you just met who's probably not even going to show up. I mean, where is she, Ted, huh? Where's Robin?... (notices Robin at the party) Hi. Hi, Robin.

"Ted"

- Hey, don't you have a paper to write?

"Ted"

- You know it's so funny I ran into you. We're having a party next Friday if you'd like to swing by, but, you know, whatever.

"Lily"

- Hey I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. My beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong... my shirt. Kinda don't wanna wear my shirt any more. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.

"Ted"

- My friends are gonna love you. Like you. You know, as a friend...

"Robin"

- You can't turn off the way you feel.

"Lily"

- Okay, buddy, time for the tough talk... Robin seems great. But let's look at the facts, you wanna get married. And right now there's a million women in New York looking for exactly you... but Robin ain't one of them.

"Robin"

- Sorry I missed your party again.

"Ted"

- Hello?

"Barney"

- Ted, let's rap. Statistics: At every New York party there is always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see... where I'm going... with this?

"Ted"

- (to Robin) I love dip. Well, I don't love dip, I like dip. As a friend

"Marshall"

- Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me: I will not have sex with Marshall.

"Barney"

- The girl from last night, I took her back to my place, then this morning spun her around a couple of times and sent her walking. She'll never find her way back and there she is!

"Ted"

- (about the kid who got stuck in the claw machine) Did they let him keep the purple giraffe?

"Barney"

- Beep, target acquired. Now it's time to play a little game I'd like to call: Haaave you met Ted?

"Robin"

- I don't know, Ted. I mean, we barely know each other and you're looking at me with that look, and it's like-

"Ted"

- She wants casual. Okay, I'll be casual. I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual. You know why? 'Cause it's a game; I wanted to skip to the end and do the whole happily ever after thing, but you don't get there, unless you play the game!

"Barney"

- This is so lame.

"Barney"

- What does Carlos have that I don't?