Goons on the Moon


 * [The episode begins at Sandy's treedome at night. Sandy is leading her Science Scouts on a very important mission.]
 * Sandy: All right, Science Scouts. One last check on supplies. We all need to be prepared for a campout on the moon. [points to SpongeBob] SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: [digs into his backpack and pulls out a pack of Fizz Bomb Cola] Six-pack of Fizz Bomb Cola. [pulls out a bubble wand] Bubble wand. [blows a bubble shaped like the Moon and pulls out a tank top] Mesh tank top. [purrs] And I'm waiting on a Krabby Patty delivery.
 * Sandy: Well, that's not what I had in mind when I said supplies. How 'bout you, Pearl?
 * Pearl: Oh. [digs in her bag and pulls out pom-poms] Pom-poms, [pulls out a megaphone and screams in SpongeBob's face] megaphone, and spirit! [jumps and shakes the treedome, knocking everyone over.]
 * Squidina: Uh. Do you always have to rub it in my face that you're a cheerleader?
 * Pearl: [rubs pom-poms on Squidina's face] Yes I do! [blows raspberry]
 * Sandy: Scouts, I don't think you cotton to what we're doin'. We're going to the moon!
 * [Bubble Bass shows his butt outside the treedome.]
 * SpongeBob, Pearl, & Squidina: Eww!
 * Bubble Bass: Huh? [pulls up his pants] Mm! [scoffs and leaves]
 * Sandy: No, that moon. [points to the moon in the sky]
 * SpongeBob, Pearl, & Squidina: Ohh!
 * Sandy: Squidina, what did you bring?
 * Squidina: [digs in her bag and pulls out a pair of glasses] Eyeglasses, [pulls out comic books] comic books, [pulls out action figures] and action figures.
 * Pearl: Ugh, can a person be any nerdier?
 * SpongeBob: I can. [holds up an ugly picture of himself]
 * Pearl: Ew!
 * Sandy: Remember, Scouts, we're scientists. Let's behave like it.
 * [SpongeBob washes his tank top, hangs it on the clothes line and blows bubbles through the holes.]
 * SpongeBob: Science!
 * Sandy: [grumbles and opens the door] Everyone on board for lift-off.
 * [Squidina and Pearl enter the tree. Pearl's enormous head gets stuck in the door and Sandy pushes her in.]
 * Pearl: Ouch!
 * Sandy: Let's go, Scout!
 * SpongeBob: But I'm still waiting for my Krabby Patty delivery guy.
 * [Sandy takes out her telescope and looks through it. The moon moves directly to the right spot where the X is.]
 * Sandy: The moon is in perfect position for us to launch. [puts her telescope away] We gotta leave now! [grabs SpongeBob and drags him in her tree]
 * [Outside the treedome, someone is ringing the doorbell. It turns out to be Squidward, who was supposedly delivering a Krabby Patty to SpongeBob.]
 * Squidward: Hello? Delivery. [grumbles and enters the treedome] Did someone order a Krabby Patty? [walks over to the picnic table and leaves the delivery there; he picks one of Sandy's records and looks at it] Uhh. Yuck. Hokey hoo-ha for hicks. [the treedome starts to shake and Squidward starts to panic] Ahh! I take it back! I could learn to like songs about tractors...maybe.
 * [Sandy pushes some buttons on her control panel, which causes a shaking motion that scares her scouts.]
 * Sandy: Uh, sorry about that. Just some backfire is all.
 * SpongeBob: Safety first.
 * [Squidina and Pearl fasten their seatbelts. SpongeBob attempts to fasten his, but his seatbelt rolls back. He attempts to tie the seatbelt in a knot, but it unravels and slaps him in the face.]
 * SpongeBob: Uh, why you! [pulls his seatbelt up, but gets all tangled up in it]
 * Sandy: Uhh, everything okay back there, SpongeBob?
 * [SpongeBob gives Sandy a thumbs up after getting tangled up by his seatbelt. The seatbelt untangles him and flips him in his helmet. Sandy pulls out a lasso and ties SpongeBob down.]
 * SpongeBob: Thanks!
 * Sandy: Three, two, one, launch! [pushes the lunch button and it flips over, revealing a sandwich, an apple, and a carton of milk] Whoops! Lunch. [pushes the launch button]
 * [The treedome begins shaking and is about to launch into space. Squidward runs to the door and attempts to leave, but the vibration makes him fall over. The treedome, now redesigned as a rocket ship, blasts off from the ground and starts flying. Sandy, Squidina, Pearl, and SpongeBob's faces distort as the rocket launches upward. SpongeBob laughs and Squidward's face distorts as well. Squidward crawls over to the dome's glass and sees Bikini Bottom getting smaller below him. The rocket emerges from the ocean, exits the Earth's stratosphere, and directly heads into outer space. Squidward panics, screams, and runs around like crazy. But suddenly, he starts floating since there is no gravity in space.]
 * Squidward: Eh, did I die? Am I a ghost? [screams as he floats around]
 * Sandy: [turns off the rocket's engines] Okay, Scouts, you're free to move about the cabin.
 * SpongeBob: [starts floating] Ooh, whoa! I'm flying, I'm flying! [his skirt falls down, revealing his underwear]Whoop! [covers his underwear and laughs]
 * [SpongeBob's helmet falls off. Then SpongeBob's eyes, nose, and mouth fall off his body while he laughs.]
 * Sandy: [checking the peanut plant's pulse] This peanut plant's pulse is staying steady in zero G.
 * Pearl: I've never been so light before. [spins around uncontrollably, flies directly into some wires and gets zapped by them; she sighs and chuckles]
 * Sandy: Uhh, I gotta fix that.
 * Squidina: [playing with her action figures] Teenage Action Girl, rise to the rescue of Action Dog while Teenage Action Boy floats in the corner and mopes. [imitating] I don't care. Oh, no! Help me! [Pearl floats past Squidina, almost knocking her over] Hey! Watch it, you big orca!
 * Pearl: You watch it, you big dorka!
 * [Squidina blows a raspberry. Meanwhile in Sandy's treedome, the record playing begins playing country music. The tree's acorns. the running wheel, the Fixin' to Go Nuts record, and the picnic table are floating everywhere. Squidward is cowering in fear, completely unaware of the fact that he is in outer space.]
 * Squidward: There can only be one explanation. I've lost my mind! [starting to lose sanity] All those years working at the Krusty Krab and I finally snapped! [hits his head against the glass and floats down] Ohh, going crazy is actually a relief. [sighs] All my stress is gone. [spins an acorn on his tentacle; suddenly, the rocket is getting hit by asteroids and space junk outside; Squidward screams in panic] All my stress is back!
 * Sandy: Uh-oh, we've got space junk! [hops into her chair and begins pushing buttons on her control panel]Everybody, back in your seats. Trays in upright positions. Head between your knees. Your mama can't save you now!
 * [SpongeBob, Squidina, and Pearl sit back into their seats and fasten their seatbelts. The rocket continues flying through the asteroid belt despite getting hit by space junk. A bowling ball crashes into the window and Sandy hits it back outside with a bat.]
 * SpongeBob: [cheers with Squidina and Pearl] Home run! [whistles]
 * [Sandy closes the damaged window with a pair of trousers. The rocket safely makes it out of the asteroid belt.]
 * Sandy: We've still get a few Astro Belts to get through. Brace yourselves for the cold belt!
 * [The rocket flies directly into the cold belt, which is a ring of snowmen, igloos, freezers, and icebergs. Squidward floats around while frozen in a block of ice. SpongeBob is building a snowman version of Patrick Star and laughs. Pearl and Squidina hover themselves and shiver. Sandy is wearing a warm coat and holding a mug of hot chocolate. She looks out through the telescope.]
 * Sandy: Next up, we got a hot belt!
 * [The rocket flies directly into the hot belt, which is a ring of flaming asteroids and stoves. SpongeBob's Patrick-snowman melts from the hot belt's heat.]
 * SpongeBob: [chuckles] Patty melt.
 * [Sandy breathes heavily and fans herself with her tail; she goes to look through the telescope, but burns her hands]
 * Sandy: Ow! [blows her hands, looks through the telescope and sees the radiation belt up ahead] Huh! We're going through the radiation belt! That could cause mutations! Everyone, get under your lead blankets!
 * Pearl: [gasps] Mutations?! I must protect my beautiful face! [puts a lead blanket over her]
 * [SpongeBob pulls a lead blanket out from his bag and puts it over him. The rocket flies directly through the radiation belt. Sandy, Pearl, Squidina, and SpongeBob take cover under their lead blankets. SpongeBob sticks his hand out from under the blanket and his hand becomes mutated. SpongeBob laughs and his hand roars. His hand begins gnawing on his helmet.]
 * SpongeBob: Aww. [chuckles]
 * [Back in the treedome, Squidward begins to suffer from the effects of the radiation belt. The belt's effects mutates Squidward's body into different shapes.]
 * Squidward: Oh, good Neptune! I'm going through puberty again! [his body keeps changing shapes and he shrinks into a baby version of himself]
 * [The rocket makes it safely through the radiation belt and resumes flying to the moon.]
 * Sandy: Okay, Scouts, it's all safe now. [Squidina, Pearl, and SpongeBob uncover themselves; pulls down her telescope] Let's see where we are. [looks through] Craters, craters—[a giant eyeball appears] Oh! Giant eyeball? Now I'm as confused as a goat on Astroturf. [hears SpongeBob laughing outside]SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: [appears outside and looking through the telescope] Hey, there's a tiny little squirrel in here. [Sandy is angrily wagging her tail] How'd you get in there, you little fuzz ball?
 * Sandy: I love the guy, but if his brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.
 * [The rocket lands and makes a successful touchdown on the moon's surface. The rocket deploys its anchor so it won't float away. Back in the treedome, Squidward pops out from under the picnic table.]
 * Squidward: Huh? We've stopped. It's all over! I'm back home! [laughs as he runs to the front door; he exits the dome and begins walking, but he floats downward since there's no gravity; he then notices the planet Earth in front of him] Wait a minute. That's the Earth. And that down there is the moon? So, somehow the treedome flew here. [looks down] Good Neptune, I'm falling! Wait, if I remember my high school science, on the moon, I'm much lighter than on Earth. Which means...ha! This fall won't hurt me.
 * [But unfortunately for Squidward, as he lands on the moon and despite the zero gravity, he ends up getting crushed and smooshed into his helmet. He starts waddling around on the Moon's surface until he trips and falls into one of the moon's craters. He gets up and pulls himself together from the fall's impact.]
 * Squidward: [blubbers as he shakes his head] Oh, shrimp. Now where am I? Maybe this is the way out. [peaks through the tube and ends up in the desert; a vulture looks down and screeches at him; and pulls his head back from the tube; he runs over to another one] Maybe this one? [peaks through the second tube and ends up in the guitar of the cowboy squirrel]
 * Country squirrel: Are y'all ready to go nuts for some hokey hoo-ha?
 * [The crowd cheers. Squidward screams and pulls himself back from the tube.]
 * Squidward: [walks over to another tube] Third time's a charm? [peaks through the tube and ends up in a storyboard artist's drawing, he and the storyboard artist scream at each other; he pulls himself back from the tube and runs off]
 * [Back on the moon's surface, Sandy, Pearl, and Squidina exit the rocket and make their first steps on the moon.]
 * Sandy: One small step for a squirrel...
 * SpongeBob: Ooh! [goes to exit the rocket, but trips; he falls on top of Pearl and Squidina and they crash into Sandy's pile of camp supplies] One giant leap for SpongeKind. [laughs]
 * [Sandy activates her camp supplies and all of the tents get set up for camp.]
 * Sandy: All right, Science Scouts, everyone's got an assignment. Pearl, you measure the moon's gravity.
 * Pearl: Rah, rah, sis, moon, bahhh! [floats upward]
 * Sandy: Squidina, you collect moon rocks.
 * Squidina: Way ahead of you, Ms. Scout Ma'am Cheeks! [throws a moon rock and starts looking for more]
 * Pearl: [emerges from underneath a large moon boulder] Grrr-avity!
 * [Squidina sighs and continues her search on more moon rocks.]
 * Sandy: SpongeBob, you can search for intelligent life.
 * SpongeBob: Aye, aye! Hmm...mmm...
 * Sandy: You do know how to recognize intelligent life, right?
 * SpongeBob: Oh, sure. [holds up a saw] I cut open their heads to see if they have any brains.
 * Sandy: [sighs, takes the saw, and gives SpongeBob a horn] If you find anything, just toot. [SpongeBob takes the horn and floats away with it] Now to study the moon's gravitational effects on my nuts. [walks over to her gravitational experiments and begins her tests]
 * [Squidina continues gathering moon rocks until Pearl rubs her pom-poms on her face.]
 * Pearl: I'm number one! You're number two! I'm gonna beat the nerd out of you!
 * Squidina: [huffs] No one beats the nerd out of Squidina! [throws a moon rock at Pearl]
 * Pearl: Whoa! [ducks from the incoming moon rock] Missed me! [laughs and blows a raspberry]
 * [Squidina's moon rock float around the moon and hits Pearl in the face.]
 * Squidina: Science! Yay!
 * [Meanwhile, Squidward runs out from the moon's crater and boards it shut. He pants from exhaustion, throws his hammer away, and looks at the Earth again.]
 * Squidward: Well, maybe being on the moon isn't so bad. After all, [takes out a tape measure and extends it] SpongeBob is over 238,000 miles away. [pauses and lets go of the tape measure]
 * Random citizen: [gets hit by the tape measure] Ow!
 * Squidward: [gasps] This moon is a no SpongeBob zone! [places a flag with a "No SpongeBob" sign on the moon's surface] Here, I'm the man on the moon! [his outburst creates a really loud echo; it was so loud that SpongeBob even heard it]
 * SpongeBob: [pulls out a plastic ear and sticks it on his helmet] Um, did someone say, "Man on the Moon?" [looks in the crater] Hello? [stands on a stalagmite] Intelligent life? [peaks out from the crater] How about average smarts? [his bottom sticks out from another crater] I'd settle for common sense! [sighs until he sees Squidward's footprints on the moon's surface] Ooh! Intelligent footprints. [follows the footprints and climbs over the cliff, where he sees the Krabby Patty delivery Squidward was supposed to deliver; he walks over to the bag and honks the horn] Huh? [honks the horn once more] Wha-hoo! [marches around while honking the horn] I found it! I found it!
 * Sandy: [pants as she arrived] What'd you find, SpaceBob?
 * SpongeBob: Intelligent life. [honks the horn and points to the bag]
 * Sandy: [digs into the bag] I'm not so sure about that. [pulls out a Krabby Patty] If they were intelligent, they would have eaten this Krabby Patty.
 * SpongeBob: Ooh! Mmm, speaking of eating [his stomach rumbles]
 * Sandy: You're right! It's lunch time. [puts the Krabby Patty back in the bag] Would you mind fetching the lunch I prepared?
 * SpongeBob: You bet! Just call me LunchBob.
 * [SpongeBob begins running in place while floating. Sandy pushes SpongeBob down to help him walk on the moon's surface.]
 * Sandy: Just press the button labeled "lunch!"
 * [Meanwhile, Squidward is skipping around on the moon's surface like an stupid idiot. He believes that SpongeBob doesn't exist on the moon and is completely unaware that he's already on it.]
 * Squidward: No SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no SpongeBob, no Sp—[stops at the dark side of the moon] Whoa! The dark side of the moon. [whimpers and peaks into it] SpongeBob? Are you in here? [pulls his head back out] No SpongeBob. [blubbers as he shakes his head] I have a strange feeling suddenly coming over me. Could it be...that I'm...happy? [stupidly walks into the dark side of the moon]
 * [Meanwhile, SpongeBob is inside Sandy's rocket trying to figure out which button is the lunch button.]
 * SpongeBob: Lunch, lunch, where's lunch? Oh, there it is. [accidentally pushes the launch button and activates the rocket's engines]
 * Computer: Preparing to launch.
 * SpongeBob: No! [frantically pushes the launch button to stop] No, not launch! Lunch! [grabs a screwdriver and tries to pry the button off]
 * [The rocket reactivates itself and starts to fly away. The anchor hooks itself on the moon's crater and begins pulling the moon into a different direction.]
 * Pearl: Uh, wait, wait—what's going on? [falls over]
 * Squidina: [whimpers] How should I know? [falls over]
 * Sandy: You guys wait here! [climbs up the anchor's chain, enters the rocket and stops the engine] Phew! SpongeBob? [sees SpongeBob outside the rocket] SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, uh, Sandy! [chuckles] Hey, girl. I was just gonna run back home. I forgot, uh...my reading glasses. [sighs and pants while running in space]
 * [Sandy activates a lasso, grabs SpongeBob and drags him back into the rocket.]
 * Sandy: It's okay, SpongeBob. It's my fault for putting the launch and lunch button so close together. [looks at the monitor] Oh, no! The moon's been pulled out of its regular orbit. That could have disastrous effects on the Earth's tides.
 * [Back on Earth and without the moon in its regular orbit, the ocean's tides are lowered. Bikini Atoll has no water and the ocean level in Bikini Bottom is decreasing.]
 * Nat Peterson: Water's a little dry today.
 * [The Bikini Bottomites are doing all that they can to stay alive as long as they can from decreased ocean level.]
 * Sandy: And that last launch depleted our fuel.
 * Santa: [off-screen] Ho-ho-ho.
 * Sandy: That's weird.
 * [Back on the moon, Pearl and Squidina hover together.]
 * Squidina: [pants] I'm so sorry you're a cheerleader!
 * Pearl: I'm sorry you're a nerd!
 * Pearl & Squidina: That came out wrong! [cries]
 * [SpongeBob and Sandy arrive back to Pearl and Squidina.]
 * SpongeBob: Ooh, moon hugs! Make room for me. [hugs Pearl and Squidina] Come on, Sandy, bring it on in. [pulls Sandy in]
 * Sandy: It's all right, Scouts. We just gotta figure out a way to get back to Earth.
 * Pearl: But Sandy, we heard strange laughing coming from...[points to the dark side of the moon] in there.
 * Santa: [off-screen] Ho-ho-ho.
 * [Squidward appears from the dark side of the moon while being held by a mysterious being.]
 * Pearl, Squidina, Sandy, & SpongeBob: Huh? [gasps]
 * SpongeBob: Squidward? You're the man on the moon?
 * Squidward: SpongeBob?! [sighs in defeat] Of course. Why not?
 * [The mysterious being comes out from the dark side of the moon. The being turns out to be none other than the jolly old elf himself: Santa Claus. Santa drops Squidward down.]
 * Squidward: Ohh! [falls on the moon's surface and gets crushed and smooshed in his helmet again] Oh! Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
 * Santa: [notices SpongeBob] SpongeBob? Ho-ho! I should've known you'd have something to do with this.
 * SpongeBob: Santy Claus! Well, Santa, you know the saying, where SpongeBob goes...
 * Santa: I know, trouble follows.
 * SpongeBob: I was gonna say laughter follows. [laughs]
 * Sandy: Mr. Claus, what are you doing on the dark side?
 * Santa: The dark side of the moon is the only place dark enough for me to get any sleep. [holds up a book and shows a picture of himself sleeping in his sleigh] I was sleeping like a baby—visions of sugar plums. [turns the page and shows picture of Squidward stumbling in Santa's sleigh] Then this bad boy goes and bangs into my sleigh and wakes me up!
 * Squidward: Well, I guess I'm getting nothing for Christmas...again.
 * Santa: [notices the Earth is far away] Holy night, SpongeBob! Did you shrink the Earth?
 * SpongeBob: [stammers nervously] Good question, Mr. Claus.
 * Sandy: We're actually further from the Earth now. We could have moved the moon back into its regular orbit if we hadn't run out of fuel. [looks angrily at SpongeBob as he whistles nervously]
 * Squidina: A controlled explosion might move the moon back.
 * Pearl: [blows her bubble gum and pops] Ha, you're so smart. How do we do that?
 * [SpongeBob strains himself as he thinks. He comes up with a really good idea and forms into a lightbulb. He takes out his pack of Fizz Bomb Cola.]
 * SpongeBob: Ooh! Fizz Bomb Cola! A burp explosion in every can.
 * [Sandy, Pearl, and Squidina grab a can of Fizz Bomb Cola. SpongeBob opens his can.]
 * Sandy: Yee-haw! That's my Science Scouts!
 * [SpongeBob, Pearl, Squidina, and Sandy open a hole in their helmets and start drinking their soda. The soda's chemicals build up in their stomachs. They all take off their helmets and make the loudest belch in order to move the moon back into place. But nothing happens, since the moon is too heavy to move from such force.]
 * Sandy: No go, the moon's too heavy. [belches and cover her mouth]
 * Santa: [laughs] I think some children might be needing some brains for Christmas. [chuckles]
 * [Pearl, Squidina, and SpongeBob came up with a different idea. They form a sail using their clothes in hopes of blowing the moon back into its orbit, leaving themselves in their underpants. They hoist the sail up with the mast.]
 * Squidina: Perfection!
 * SpongeBob: Now we just wait for a gust of wind.
 * [They wait for a gust of wind. But since there is no air in space, nothing happens.]
 * Sandy: Uh, interesting science fact: there's no atmosphere on the moon, therefore there's no wind.
 * [Santa laughs really hard which causes his belt buckle to fall off.]
 * SpongeBob: [dodges Santa's belt buckle] Why don't we just push the moon back?
 * [Sandy, Squidina, Pearl, and Santa look strangely at SpongeBob. SpongeBob warms up and attempts to push the moon back with all his might. Squidina and Pearl attempt to do the same, but the moon is too heavy for them to move.]
 * Santa: [laughs] You all should be a sea monster because you're Kraken me up! Get it? Kraken? [laughs]
 * Sandy: [hops on his sleigh and grabs his beard] Santa Claus, you can do more than just say, "Ho-ho-ho!" at us! You can dig into that toy sack of yours and find something to help!
 * Santa: But I'm having such a jolly, holly time! [Sandy grumbles angrily at Santa] You're right. I'm being naughty, not nice.
 * [The scene changes back to Sandy's rocket. Sandy, Squidward, Squidina, and Pearl fasten their seatbelts. Santa peaks in the rocket through the window.]
 * Santa: Everyone nestled all snug?
 * Sandy: We're all snug, Santa. But why is SpongeBob with you?
 * SpongeBob: [sitting in Santa's sleigh] Yeah, why am I riding with you? Not that it isn't a pleasure.
 * Santa: I want you close to me so I can keep an eye on you. You're a menace! [flies his sleigh above Sandy's rocket; SpongeBob falls on Santa's face, but Santa pulls him off] First, I'll push Sandy's rocket ship out of harm's way. SpongeBob, hand me that jack-in-the-box.
 * SpongeBob: [digs in Santa's sack and pulls out a jack-in-the-box] Jack-in-the-box.
 * [Santa winds up the jack-in-the-box and launches it at Sandy's rocket. The toy pushes the rocket off the moon's surface.]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, oh! Let me try! [begins winding the jack-in-the-box]
 * Santa: Be careful! Don't overwind it!
 * SpongeBob: But it's gotta be strong enough to move the moon. [carelessly overwinds the jack-in-the-box really tight; the jack-in-the-box stops winding and breaks]
 * Santa: You broke it, and it was my last one.
 * SpongeBob: Hmm. [the handle begins turning slowly] Oh, wait. I think I can hear the last note struggling to get out. Come on, Jack, you can do it. I believe in you!
 * [The jack-in-the-box launches out from the box in a fast pace.]
 * Santa: Ho-ho-ho-ho!
 * [The jack-in-the-box hits the moon. But instead of moving it back as it was supposed to, it ends up destroying the moon completely. Various moon rocks float in all directions. SpongeBob and Santa stare in shock.]
 * SpongeBob: What happened? [Santa grumbles angrily at SpongeBob] Oh. Okay, sorry. It was my bad.
 * [Moon rocks and debris fly around Sandy's rocket. Sandy, Pearl, Squidina, and Squidward look in shock now that the moon is destroyed. Back on Earth and with the moon gone, the ocean level has decreased even more and there is nothing but standing water. Bikini Bottomites are now crawling on their legs and arms.]
 * Frankie Billy: [runs into Martha Smith] Oh, excuse me. Sorry. [chuckles]
 * [Frankie Billy gets up and dries up from the heat so Martha can walk by. Back in space, Santa is overwhelmed at what SpongeBob did to the moon.]
 * Santa: Oh-oh-oh.
 * SpongeBob: Oh-oh-oh?
 * Santa: Ho-ho-ho backwards. [sulks on his sleigh]
 * [SpongeBob thinks and comes up with an idea to fix this problem once and for all.]
 * SpongeBob: [leans closer to Santa's ear] Santa, do you have any water shooters in your bag?
 * Santa: Yes, the whole sack is full of 'em.
 * [SpongeBob digs in Santa's sack and finds a pile of water shooters. SpongeBob grabs a water shooter and gives it to Santa.]
 * SpongeBob: All right, Santa, squirt me.
 * Santa: [takes the water shooter] Oh, I get it.
 * [SpongeBob takes off his helmet and Santa sprays SpongeBob with water to make him bigger.]
 * SpongeBob: Whoo! Keep 'em coming, Santa!
 * [Santa grabs another water shooter and sprays SpongeBob with water to make him even more bigger. Back on Earth, the Bikini Bottomites are flopping around due to the decreased water level. But then, something miraculous happened. The water level rises up and the oceans are back to normal. Sandy's rocket flies back down to Earth and Sandy's treedome flies back into its rightful place on the ground. Sandy, Squidina, and Squidward exit the tree.]
 * Sandy: Using the leftover Fizz Bomb Cola made an excellent rocket fuel, Science Scout Squidina.
 * Squidina: Yep, the rocket burped us back. [laughs]
 * Pearl: [pulls herself out of Sandy's tree] Wow! Would you mind teaching me some nerdy science stuff?
 * Squidina: Sure, if you'll teach me some airhead cheerleader stuff.
 * [Pearl and Squidina, who have now put aside their differences, skip happily out of Sandy's treedome, nearly knocking over Sandy and Squidward.]
 * Sandy: Why don't you join the Science Scouts, Squidward?
 * Squidward: No, thanks! Science is crazy and filled with lunatics! [leaves in disgust]
 * Sandy: Speaking of luna, I wonder how old SpongeBob is doing.
 * [The scene changes to New York City at night. SpongeBob, now as a temporary moon until Santa creates a brand new one, rises in the night sky and look down at the city.]
 * SpongeBob: Good night, Earth! Hey, I'm mooning you. [laughs] Hello, lady. You sure look lovely by moonlight.
 * Lady: Aww!
 * SpongeBob: Hey, mister! I can see your bald spot.
 * Man #1: Hey!
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] Don't be alarmed, people. I'm only here 'til December, when Santa brings everybody a new moon for Christmas.
 * [The citizens on the ground are honking their horns and groan as they start complaining.]
 * Man #2: Come on!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, sorry. Just gave away the big surprise, didn't I? Oh, well. Merry early Christmas!
 * Santa: [flies past SpongeBob with his sleigh] Ho-ho-ho! You're a menace!
 * [SpongeBob giggles and winks at the audience, ending the episode.]