At the Movies

(Tommy hums with the pop up vacuum toy coming into the living room.)

TV: (Starting off with a loud roar.) Just when you thought it was safe to visit New York, here comes Reptar.

Tommy: Reptar,

TV: He's big, he's mean, he's green, and he's back. He's Reptar.

Tommy: Reptar.

TV: And this time, he means business. Rated MGR. Minor Guidance Recommended, now playing in theaters everywhere including the Westside Octoplex.

Stu: Up we go, champ. (Tommy starts gibberishing to leave the house.) Yeah, Rehreh. (Starts talking backwards.) Time to go. (Tommy starts crying as he wants to go see Reptar.) Ah, cheer up, Tommy. Tonight we're all going to the Octoplex to see your first movie.

Tommy: (Tommy cries out for Reptar.) Ruh ruh!

(At that moment, we'll follow the Westside Octoplex into the movie.)

Lou: The Dummi Bears in The Land Without Smiles?! Do we really have to see this one?

Stu: Ah, come on, Pop. The kids'll love it.

Tommy: Ruh ruh!

Didi: Yes, Tommy, wawa, we're going to a movie.

(They go in the theater, which is full of loud, rowdy kids and wailing babies...)

Lou: We should've gone bowling.

Tommy: (Now conversing with the other kids.) Chuckie, Phil, Lil! I've gotta tell you about this great thing I saw.

All: What?

Tommy: Reptar.

All: Reptar?

Tommy: Reptar. This big Dinosaur on the TV. It knocked over some buildings and stuff.

All: Wow!

Lou: I told ya, we should've gone bowling!

Stu: (Hurredly interrupts.) Shhh, Dad. It's starting.

(The whole theater quiets down.)

(Dummi Bears are making pink hearts, putting on the arrows and sending out happy thoughts at the cloud kingdom)

Dummi Bear 1: Here goes a happy thought to a sad little boy in Texas. (sends out happy thought in Texas)

Dummi Bear 2: And here goes one to a lonely little girl in New York. (sends out happy thought in New York)

Female Dummi Bear: Help! Help! Someone's stolen the magic list!! (The whole theater gasps.)

Dummi Bear 1: Stolen? But-but without the list of sad little boys and girls..., this'll become..., The Land Without Smiles.

Lou: (after seeing the title card for the Dummi Bears movie) Land without Brains is more like it! (His complaint gets shushed.)

Chuckie: So, Tommy? How big was Reptar?

Tommy: I don't know. But there were a bunch of tiny grown-ups running around his feet.

Twins: Wow. We wanna see Reptar.

Tommy: Okay. Lets go find him.

Chuckie: But he was on TV, Tommy, back at your house.

Tommy: I saw his picture outside, Chuckie. I think he's here somewhere. Maybe he's... this way!

(The babies start walking off.)

Tommy: Come on!

Chuckie: Maybe Reptar's in here.

(In Love auditorium it's not Reptar)

Man: Hey you! Down in front!

Chuckie: Aah! Monster! Run away!

Tommy: Phil, Lil! Up here!

Chuckie: There you are.

Lil: I hate kissing movies. Nothing ever happens.

Phil: Hey, what's that? (they looked for the refreshment stand)

Larry: No way, beanie boards are by far the coolest.

Steve: You lie! Beanies are bogus. Grodie boards rule.

Larry: Aw, forget you!

Steve: Forget you too, man!

Tommy: Reptar! (Tommy looks for the air popcorn booth, Tommy digs for popcorn, now Phil has to find the orange soda)

Chuckie: (Chuckie eats Nestle Alpine White and Milk Chocolate bars. Lil pushes grape soda and Phil pushes orange soda. Chuckie starts to monkey weep while Phil and Lil start playing with the Ketchup and Mustard dispensers, ketchup & mustard gurgles by the pumps on the floor)

Tommy: Reptar! (While he finds the popcorn)

Chuckie: Hey, Tommy! Come and look at this! I think I found where Reptar is!

(Phil and Lil spill all the straws.)

Steve: You, manager? Ha! Hardly.

Larry: Why not?

Steve: After Mr. Wilkie caught you drinking a carton of artificial popcorn butter? (He chuckles.) Dream on.

Larry: I had to, man, a bets a bet.

Steve: I betcha a buck you won't do it again.

Larry: You're on, dude.

Larry and Steve: WHOA! (There was havoc in the concession stand: candies, ketchup, mustard, straws, popcorn, tubs, napkins, lids, orange soda, grape soda, and cups on the floor.)

Chuckie: What is it?

Phil: The sun?

Lil: The moon?

Tommy: No. It's Reptar.

All: Wow! (it's projector is humming in the room)

Tommy: Pasketty merry-go-round.

Chuckie: Yeah! Look at this one.

(Lou wanted to eat popcorn with extra butter. In a scene from the Dummi Bears film, little Shawna is lying sick on a hospital bed).

Shawna: Just get valentines to the other needy children, Squeaky Bear. It's too late for me. (She coughs)

Lou: (Watching film, dryly) It's too late for me, too.

Didi: Shh!

Lou: I'm gonna get some candy. (Getting up from seat) I'd rather rot my teeth than sit here and rot my brain.

Tommy: I've seen this one already. Come on.

(Tommy and Chuckie peek through a projection window to see an Indiana Jones-esque adventure movie, with the protagonist swining away from spear throwing natives... )

Chuckie: Reptar?

Tommy: Nope. Reptar's green.

(They peek through another window and see a weird movie featuring a mohawked tough guy holding a banana instead of a gun...)

Chuckie: Is this it, Tommy?

Tough Guy: Hey! You talkin' to me?

Chuckie: (Stuttering.) N-No, I was talking to Tommy. Let's try another one.

(They walk to another projector window and hear loud roars. It's the Reptar film!)

Chuckie: Reptar?

Tommy: Reptar.

All: (As they stare at the screen.) Wow!

Phil: Hey! Let me see!

Lil: Quit pushin'. I got here first!

Phil: You had your turn! Whoa! (falls into the projector tapes)

Lil: Hey! Let me try!

(They all laugh. In the process, they cause the film projectors to malfunction and start breaking down, with strips of film falling everywhere.)

Man: Huh? (He notices all the mess.) Aaaahh!

Chuckie: I think we better go now, Tommy.

Tommy: Yep.

Lou: What a mess! Why in my day a youngster knew how to run a snack bar. And he'd walk 15 miles through the snow to get there too.

Larry: Yeah right, old dude.

Lou: Well, hello there. Guess you little sprouts had enough of that brainless bear adventure too, ay? Well, I got us some snacks anyway, come on, now, get along little doggies. (The film brokers in a stairway)

(Grandpa Lou takes the babies back to the theater, unaware of the chaos the babies had caused; in the movie...)

Squeaky Bear (Doctor): I know you're all wondering if Little Shawna is going to pull through. Oh well, looks like Little Shawna... (the audio suddenly makes weird garbled sounds as the film gets caught in the projector and melts)

Audience: (groans and now mumbling to go home, Grandpa Lou eats all the popcorn with butter and Tommy gasps)

Guy: (in the parking lot) What nerve. They didn't give us our money back. Right when you're about to find out if the guy's a ghost, the picture just goes black. (the moneys broken is a ghost)

Woman: Worst theater I've ever been to.

Guy: You're telling me. The popcorn here tastes like soda pop.

(Lou puts on a seatbelt, and Stu starts the car)

Stu: I just wish I knew if Little Shawna pulled through!

Didi: Aww. I guess we'll have to wait until it comes out on video.

Stu: It just isn't fair!

Didi: Well, at least we know Tommy can get through a whole movie without making any trouble.

Stu: Mm. You're right. At least there's that.

Didi: Why don't we go see movie again next week?

Stu: Ok. But next time, let's go to another theater. (Lou eats the candy bar without movie The Land Without Smiles)

Tommy: Reptar. (It's Reptar sign for the lights tonight)