The Kraang Conspiracy

[Distant sirens blare] Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Let's do this! Yeah! [Panting] I never understood how How turtles could Could be so. So fast. [Groans] Come on, April. This is just the warm-up. The warm-up? For two hours? That's what ninjas do. Training sometimes lasts four, five hours at a time. Awesome, right? [Laughs] Yeah. [Groans] Are you kidding me? I'm gonna puke. What about a real mission? It took 15 years of training before Master Splinter let us go on a "real mission. " You got a long way to go, sister. Not that long. A decade or two will fly by like that. [Snaps fingers] For a turtle. Maybe we should take her on more missions, Leo. It makes sense. Yeah! The best training she could have is hanging with the ninjas. Uh-uh. No way. It's too dangerous. What if something happens to her? [Groaning] My head. Guys, I think there's someone watching us Right over there. All: Get him! â« Teenage mutant ninja turtles â« â« teenage mutant ninja turtles â« â« teenage mutant ninja turtles â« â« heroes in a half shell, turtle power â« â« here we go â« â« it's a lean, green, ninja team on the scene â« â« cool teens doing ninja things â« â« so extreme, out the sewer like laser beams â« â« get rocked with the shell-shocked pizza kings â« â« can't stop these radical dudes â« â« the secret of the ooze made the chosen few â« â« emerge from the shadows to make their move â« â« the good guys win, and the bad guys lose â« â« â« Leonardo's the Leader in blue â« â« does anything it takes to get his ninjas through â« â« Donatello is the fellow who has a way with machines â« â« Raphael's got the most attitude on the team â« â« Michelangelo, he's one of a kind, and you know â« â« just where to find him when it's party time â« â« Master Splinter taught 'em every single skill they need â« â« to be one lean, mean, green, incredible team â« â« teenage mutant ninja turtles â« â« teenage mutant ninja turtles â« â« teenage mutant ninja turtles â« â« heroes in a half shell, turtle power â« [Distant sirens blare] Grappling hooks! Aw, yeah! [Grappling hook clicks] [Grunts] Stupid grappling hook. [All grunt] [Grunts] Oh! [Sighs] Maybe I should just take the stairs. April, use my rope! "April, use my rope. " She's already slowing us down, Donnie. [Groans] [Screams] [Both grunt] This way. Let's move, people. It's quiet. Too quiet. [Gasps] [Gasps] It's us. Not just us. Photos of mutants and Kraang. Lots and lots of Kraang. So what's with all the creep-tastic pictures? [Floorboard creaks] Well, I guess we've seen enough here, guys. Let's get out of here. [Gasps] Whoa! Don't hurt me. I'm a friend. "Stalker's" more like it. After all these months, finally face-to-face with the talking ninja turtles, and April o'Neil herself. [Gasps] [Grunts] You better start talking, pal. What's with the photos? Who are you? The name's Kurtzman. I was a journalist on the case of the missing scientist last year, and then I discovered something much bigger. The Kraang. The alien infiltration is long-lived. Ancient, in fact. The Kraang have been trying to use mutagen to terraform the Earth for thousands of years. But they couldn't use the mutagen in our universe without a specific chain of human DNA. They spent millennia capturing people, shaping humankind's genetic code, until finally [Gasps] That's me. Your mother was taken by the Kraang before you were born. Then, she was experimented on. My mom? That's why you're so special, April. Your DNA can perfect the mutagen in this dimension. Wow. I. I think I need to sit down. They found me. I don't know how, but they found me. Kraang, the human known as "Kurtzman" has allied himself with the ones called "the turtles," who are turtles. Observe, Kraang. Disintegrate first. Capture for interrogation later. [All yelp] [Grunting] [Screaming] [Gasps] [Yells] I'll protect you, April. Protect yourself. [Sighs] [Shouts] [Gasps] Takes a little practice, April. So I'm told. Retreat! Uhoh. I can't leave without my notebook. No. My My [Screams] Gotcha. [Whimpers] This way. Move! [Tires screech] Get him! [All yelp and grunt] [Screams] Everyone, brace yourselves. [Squeals] Here's the plan. You infiltrate T. C. R. I., then wipe out all the data the Kraang have on April's DNA. Infiltrate T. C. R. I. ? I thought you guys blew that place up. Whoa. They rebuilt T. C. R. I. ? Already? We break in, erase April's DNA codes, and get out. Infiltration only. Let's do this. Great. You and Kurtzman stay outside on lookout. Stay outside? On lookout? No problem. Take this. It's a key card I stole from one of their vans. It'll get you into T. C. R. I. Thanks, Mr. Kurtzman. Good luck. [Grunts] [Groans] All right, April. Stay here and maintain radio communication. [Scoffs] But I want in on the action too. Whoohoo! Don't worry. We'll be back in two shakes of a Kraang tentacle. Wait outside Like some stupid sidekick? I don't think so. [Gasps] [Screams] It's okay. It's all right. I think these androids are just Charging. Weird. I wonder if there's Kraang inside of 'em. [Laughs] Dudes, their faces are all rubbery and stuff. Check it out. [Jabbering] Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Donnie stinks. Blah, blah, blah. Stop that. We gotta move before they wake up. [All scream] April? What are you doing here? I told you, I'm sick of sitting on the sidelines. Fine. Just be quiet, stay close, and do not let Mikey touch anything. [Buzzer buzzes] [Gasps] Wasn't me. I think they're done charging. Let's get out of here! Huh? Whoo-whoo-whoo! Kraang, does this human suit make Kraang look fat? [Whimpers] The floor known as level 40 has been accessed to Kraang. Whew! Not bad so far. [Elevator music plays] â« This music is makin' my ears bleed. What's goin' on, Donnie? It's a Kraang sweet 16 birthday party. How am I supposed to know? [Groans] It's Kraang prime. They're meditating, communicating. I can hear their thoughts. Whoa, man. You're like "tele-pathetic. " The experiment is nearly complete. Despite setbacks, the mutagen will be ready as planned. They're talking about invasion. Soon, we will transform the Earth and all of its hideous people. [Gasps] What? Intruders? [All shrieking] Um, guys, what are we thinkin'? Run! Some stealth mission. Dudes! It's that freaky chick with the exploding elbows. [Panting] [Screams] [Panting] April! [Both grunting] [Gasps] Look out! [Grunting] We got to get to that door. It is the human known as April o'Neil. [Grunting] I am not gonna Ask for help. Dumb! Help! Help! Donnie! Wah! April! [Both grunting] Raph, take down "miss rocket arms. " Already on it. [Grunts] [Screams] [Grunts] Let's get April! [Grunts] Run! In here. So why are we hiding in a dead end? [Grunting] Door's locked. We're trapped. [Laughing] Poison gas? April, why are you doing this? [Laughing] [Laughing] [Both grunting] [Coughs] Got to get out. There is no escape, turtles. April, what's wrong with you? Are you mind controlled? Try again. [Grunting] Donnie! No. [Coughing] It's not April, Mikey. It's an android. Get her! [Screams] Hey! Ooh. Whoa! [Screams and grunts] I hate having to do this, but. [Screams and grunts] 'Kay. It was some kind of replica. [Coughing] A fake April. But she looked so real. [Coughs] Like Tofu bacon. Come on. [Coughs] We got to find the real April. [Coughs] And Tofu bacon does not look real. It tastes real, though. [Screaming] I bet whatever's behind that door is pretty important. By Darwin's beard. April clones. Weird. They're perfect genetic duplicates. Weird. I bet the Kraang have been growing them to harvest her DNA. [Gasps] Weird. I got it, okay? So where's the real April? [Grunting] The DNA that belongs to the April clones is lacking, Kraang. Kraang needs more real April DNA. Uh, how 'bout I just give you some hair or something? That has DNA. That is correct. But this is far more entertaining to Kraang. Hurry, Donnie. Faster. I'm hurrying as fast as I can. [Screaming] April! The turtles survived. Open the bin that is known as "the reject bin. " [All screaming] [Roars] Uhoh. What the heck is that? Derp, derp, derp. [Growls] It's some kind of a reject clone. A genetic mishap. An "April-derp. " [Growling] "Derp, derp, derp. " Get it? [Both grunting] [Screams] You guys take care of the derp. I'll rescue April. Oh, man. I wanted to do that. [Roars] [Grunting] April. Oh Great. Saved by Raph. I'm never gonna live this down. Well, we've all been there, April. [Grunting] Let me go. Raph! [Growling] [Screams] [Groans] Donnie, you wipe out those computers yet? Still working on it. Work faster! She's crushing my face! Derp, derp. [Groaning] April give hugs. Derp, derp, derp. [Grunts] [Computer whines] Yes! I did it. I wiped the computers clean. [Grunting] Aah! [Grunting] [Grunts] April! [Shuddering] Do not struggle. The one called "April o'Neil" will soon expire. No. No! [All screaming] [Grunts] [Howling] Yes! Good-bye, April derp. [Both grunting] You okay? Brain on fire, ready to pop. Other than that, meh. April! Oh, I'm so glad you're alive. [Alarm blares] Uhoh. Time to haul shell. Where are you going, guys? - Trying to ditch me? - Let's get out of here. - We got to hurry. - Come on. - It's me, April. - Where are you going, guys? - Come on. - Let's get out of here. Don't listen to them. I'm the real April. It's me, April. April! - No, I'm the real April. - I am. - It's me. - No, I am. Whoa. Which one is which? - We got to hurry. - Come on. - No, I'm the real April. - It's me. - I am. - It's me. No, I am. [Grunting] Yep, that's the real April. [All shout] Okay, that was just gross, dudes. There's "April derp" on my chucks. Let's move. [Distance ambulance siren] Hurry! [Car tires screeching] Get in. Escaping from the Kraang in their own van. [Laughs] [Car horn blares] Thanks for the save, Mr. Kurtzman. I owed you one. So did you wipe out the Kraang computers? We did, by the skin of our noses. The only reason we survived was because of April. Whatever you did back there saved us all. [Sighs] I have no clue what I did. I was freaking out, and then, "zap," the Kraang were toast. You walk from here. Well, I'm off. Somebody's got to keep an eye on the Kraang. They're everywhere. If you ever need my expertise, you know where to find me. Well, what'd you find out, Donnie? This doesn't seem possible. What is it? What's wrong? Based on all the info I've culled from the clone lab, your cellular makeup is actually a morphogenesic blend of human and Kraang DNA. Wait. Are you saying you're not entirely human, April. That's why you have psychic powers. In fact, you are a half-human, half-alien mutant. All: A mutant? Aw, yeah! Welcome to the family.

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