You Are Arthur

Arthur's Bedroom
Arthur: Treasure Island, one of my favorite books. When I read it, I imagine I'm a pirate, like Long John Silver. Avast. Thar lies the X. Dig up the buried treasure lad. (Pal digs and retrieves a bone.) Human treasure, lad, not buried treasure. Keep digging. Okay, you can stop digging now. Imagining I'm someone else is one of the things I love about reading. But I wonder what it'd be like if I could actually be someone else, like Mr. Ratburn.

Mr. Ratburn: Good morning, class. Let's start the day off with a little math quiz. (students groan) That wasn't a very big groan. Maybe I'm getting too soft on them. On second thought, let's start the day with a big math test! (students groan louder) Ah! That's more like it.

Arthur: Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you imagine what it's like to be me for a day and I'll imagine what it's like to be you? Okay, ready? (hypnotically) You are becoming me... You are becoming me... You are becoming me... You are becoming me...

Arthur's House
Arthur: Ten toes, ten fingers. Yep, I'm all here. (yawns) (grunts) (doll squeaks) Good morning, Arthur.

D.W.: Arthur! Stop talking to yourself. Do you have any idea what time it is?

Arthur: It's only 7:30.

D.W.: Oh, so that's what it says. Well, you better get moving or you'll be late for training.

Arthur: Training? For what? (Pal whimpers) The 3K race-- it's today! Oh, no, I completely forgot I signed up for it.

Library
Mrs. Turner: Care to enter the library's 3K race, Arthur? It's to raise money for a new children's reading room.

Arthur: Gee, I don't know. How far is three kilometers?

Brain: It's exactly 1.86 miles. The most we've ever run in school is half a mile. It might be too long for you.

Arthur: So, why are you signing up?

Brain: My dad and I run on the weekends. Three kilometers will be a snap for me.

Arthur: Huh! too long for me? We'll see about that. (clears throat) 3K, huh? No sweat.

Bathroom
Arthur: 1.86 miles-- that really seems like a lot now but I'd like to show the Brain I can run just as far as he can. I guess a little training couldn't hurt.

Backyard
Arthur: Ouch! Ouch! Hey! Ow! Ow! You're hurting me.

D.W.: It's for your own good, Arthur. You should stretch before your trainers get here.

Arthur: Trainers? I thought you were my trainer.

Tommy: Hi, Arthur.

Timmy: Ready for your workout?

Arthur: Oh, no.

D.W.: Trust me, Arthur. If you can survive an hour with them, the race will be a snap. (Arthur groans) (panting)

Tommy: (giggling): I've got you now!

Arthur: That was close.

Timmy: Not close enough!

Arthur: No! (Arthur sputtering)

D.W:...19...20... 20...

Arthur: You already said 20.

D.W.: I don't know what comes after 20.

Tommy: Hey, Timmy! I bet I can spin the rope faster than you.

Timmy: Cannot.

Tommy: Can, too.

Timmy: Cannot.

Arthur: Hey, guys, slow down. It's too fast. I can't keep up. Stop. Aah!

D.W.: Arthur, never say "stop" when you're jumping rope. (Arthur groans)

Tommy: Okay, run to that tree. And back. Now to the sandbox. (panting heavily) Pick up the purple dinosaur. Now bring it back... quick. (panting and gasping) Thanks. (twins giggling)

D.W.: Hey! They stole my dinosaur!

Kitchen
D.W.: (Arthur chewing noisily, gulping) Arthur wants some more pancakes, Dad.

Arthur: I do?

D.W.: You need lots of crabs so you'll have energy for the race.

David: "Carbs," D.W. It's short for "carbohydrates."

D.W.: Trust me, Arthur. (Arthur groaning)

Car Ride
Arthur: I ate too much. Mom, could you slow down? I feel a little carsick.

David: You know, Arthur, if you feel nauseous you don't have to run.

Arthur: I could just skip the race. But what if the library can't raise enough money for the children's reading room?

Mrs. Turner: Isn't it wonderful?

Mr. Haney: It certainly is. (knocking on wall)

Man: Haney, this is the foreman of the building crew. You are five dollars short so we had to leave out some features like doors and windows.

Mr. Haney: Wait, don't go. I have five dollars right here!

Foreman: Throw in another ten, and we'll give you a roof, too. (thunder)

Mr. Haney: We're doomed!

Mrs. Turner: And it's all because Arthur signed up for the race but didn't run.

Mr. Haney: Hmm.

Arthur: No, I should run. I feel okay.

D.W.: I know what you need, Arthur. Let's see... I had it just last week. Something to settle your stomach. (insect buzzing) Arthur: Eww. Mom, pull over... quick.

Before The Race
Buster: Hi, Arthur. You don't look quite yourself today.

Arthur: Really? I was a little carsick on the ride over but now I feel fine.

Buster: No, that's not it. Is there someone inside your head watching everything you do on a TV set? (knocks glass)

Arthur: Cut it out.

Brain: Hey, Arthur.

Arthur: Whoa!

Brain: Oh, these are my new condor 86x low riders with pump action. They inflate when I clap my hands... (claps) and give me an extra spring to my step.

Arthur: Oh, yeah. Well, these are my, uh, lucky sneakers. I wear them for all my races.

Brain: Well, don't push yourself too hard. Remember, Arthur, walking across the finish line still counts.

Arthur: Yeah, but finishing before you would be a lot of fun.

The Race
Mr. Haney: On your mark...

Muffy: Wait! Isn't the Elwood City Times covering the race? I want to look my best.

Mr. Haney: Ahem. On your mark, get set... (starter pistol fires) (Arthur gasps)

Arthur: Oh, no! (cheering and applause) (Arthur panting) Huh? Hey! Hi, grandma. Hi... Brain.

Brain: Hmm? How did you...

Arthur: Sorry, can't talk now. Got to run. (panting) (chuckling) Actually, this isn't so bad. I don't feel tired at all. Hey, I might even win this race. (cheering)

Mr. Haney: Congratulations, Arthur. Yours was the fastest time in Elwood City history.

Mrs. Turner: And we've decided to name the new reading room the Read Reading Room, after you.

Mr. Haney: You ran a great race! You should be very proud of yourself.

Brain: You're doing really well. You know, we should run together someday.

Arthur: Okay.

Brain: But not today! (claps) (shoes squeaking as they inflate)

Muffy: Yoo-hoo, over here! Try to get my good side.

Arthur: Muffy, watch out. There's a...

Muffy: Ow! Ow! (sobbing)

Arthur: Muffy, are you all right? (sobbing)

Muffy: No, I'm not all right. My new outfit is ruined.

Arthur: I'll never catch up with the brain now. Oh, well, there will be other races. (panting) (crowd cheering)

D.W.: Come on, Arthur! Just a few more steps. You can do it! (crowd cheering) (applause)

Dad: Yay! Way to go! That's my boy!

Arthur: Thanks. (gulping loudly)

D.W.: Don't drink too much, Arthur. You don't want to practice on a full stomach.

Arthur: Practice? For what?

D.W.: The marathon, of course. It can't be much longer than this race. Maybe it's ten Ks or four Ls or a Q. We'll ask Tommy and Timmy this afternoon.

Arthur: Oh, brother! (gulping loudly)

At Home
Arthur: Wow! Check it out. I'm famous. That's even better than winning the race. Well, I hope you enjoyed being me for a day. I really liked being you. But next time, let's switch. You run the race, and I'll watch me on TV.