The Two-Brains Boogie

Narrator: One funkadelic day at the Botsford residence…

(Scene: The Botsford house. A boombox is playing dance music. Mr. Botsford is trying to teach Becky to dance.)

Mr. Botsford: Hey! Now, shake with the beat!

(Becky tries to move her arms, while Bob seems to glide effortlessly.)

Mr. Botsford: WITH the beat!

Becky: The beat?

Mr. Botsford: The beat! Shake! Like this-- bah bah da doo dah! Bah bah bah dah dah dah!

Becky: Eh, okay.

(She begins to move her arms up and down awkwardly with her tongue hanging out, which has become a signature dance move for her throughout the series. Her dad grimaces.)

Mr. Botsford: Okay… not-- bad…

Becky: Ah, come on Dad, be honest. Dancing isn’t exactly my strong suit.

Mr. Botsford: Nonsense, honey! All you need is a little… practice! You’ll get better. Anybody can learn, it’s-- easy for-- almost everybody!

Becky: I’m still not sure why you thought entering us in a boogie-oogie-oogie contest was a good idea.

Mr. Botsford: Not just A boogie-oogie-oogie contest, Becky… the City Annual Boogie-oogie-oogie Contest!

Becky: Right, but--

Mr. Botsford: Imagine… you and me, facing off against hundred of dancers, knockin’ ‘em out with the Botsford  Shimmy ! Whoooaaa!

Becky: (laughs nervously) Nice!

Mr. Botsford: Thanks! Plus, I have a reputation to protect, when I was a kid my mom and I were three-time champions, you know.

Becky: I’m not going to have to wear an outfit like that, am I?

Mr. Botsford: I rode that success all the way to the top of the dancing mountain… my own instructional dance video!

(Becky and Bob giggle at his picture on the cover.)

Mr. Botsford: If we don’t win that boogie-oogie-oogie contest today, this video will be useless! No one will ever take it seriously again, and I’ll be ruined on the boogie-oogie-oogie circuit! Ruined! But no pressure.

(He puts the video into the VCR.)

Mr. Botsford: You just relax, clear your mind and let younger me transport you to the land of boogie-oogie-oogie. Yeah!

(Becky watches his dance moves for a few minutes.)

Becky: Wow, look at that!

Mr. Botsford: Now, I have to go off to Meditation Hill and go through my free dance relaxation ritual. So just watch and learn, Becky!

Becky: Okay, great. Thanks. Bye.

(He leaves.)

Becky: Oh, man. Look at him  shimmy ! There’s no way anyone can learn how to dance like that in just one--

(She looks over and sees that Bob is following along with the moves.)

Becky: Wow, Bob. You’re really… boogie-oogie’ing. Show-off!

(She suddenly hears a distant cry for help.)

Becky: Someone in the distance calling for help! Word-- Bob!

(Bob, who has continued to dance along with the video, stops suddenly and smiles with a guilty look.)

Narrator: Out past the city limits…

(Scene: Outside the city. WordGirl is flying around with Huggy, who is using binoculars to search for the person in trouble.)

WordGirl: Huggy, do you see him?

(Huggy points down.)

WordGirl: Great job! Let’s go.

(She zips toward the ground. Someone appears to be going down a hill in a wagon, saying “Help me” over and over. The wagon goes over a cliff, and WordGirl catches it before it can fall. She and Huggy land on the ground with the wagon.)

WordGirl: Phew, that was a close one! You’re safe now, si--

(She realizes that it is a stuffed doll inside the wagon, with a tape player tied to it.)

WordGirl: Oh! Mannequin? Why--

(The tape repeats “Help me” a couple more times before dying out.)

WordGirl: Thanks.

(She hears a loud noise behind her. She looks back toward the city, and sees that a huge dome has appeared around it. Huggy chatters.)

WordGirl: Yeah, I agree. It does look like some kind of energy field. Come on!

(She takes off with Huggy and flies up to the edge of the energy field.)

WordGirl: Okay Huggy, let’s take it out!

(She slams her fist into it, but it bounces back with no effect. She rubs her hand in apparent pain.)

WordGirl: Nothing. And that was my best punch. Huggy, this energy field may be  indestructible . We could be stuck out here for a while.

(Huggy chatters.)

WordGirl: No, I’m not just saying that so I’ll miss the dance contest! Fine, believe what you want. Meanwhile, we have to figure out who’s behind this.

(She hears a distorted laugh coming from inside the force field. Dr. Two-Brains and one of the henchmen walk up to edge. The henchman is carrying a pedestal with what looks like a present on the top of it.)

WordGirl: Dr. Two-Brains? You lured us out of the city with this mannequin so we’d be trapped outside this force field!

Dr. Two-Brains: Looks like you’re going to have a hard time stopping my scheme, WordGirl, now that you’re stuck outside the city!

WordGirl: Hey, let us back in! That’s not fair!

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, since you put it that way, alright.

WordGirl: Really?

Dr. Two-Brains: Sure, I want to be fair.

(The henchman removes the wrapping on top of the pedestal, revealing a control panel.)

Dr. Two-Brains: I’m going to put it right here, where you can see it but not touch it! Isn’t that extra mean? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

WordGirl: Hey!

Dr. Two-Brains: Ohhh… it’s so close you could practically touch it, eh? If only you could just reach through this  indestructible  energy field, you’d be able to press that little button and shut it down! But you can’t! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

WordGirl: Yeah, but if I could reach through the energy field, I wouldn’t NEED to shut it down!

Henchman 1: She has a point, Doc.

Dr. Two-Brains: Right, I know, but l-let’s not get hung up on details while I’m gloating, okay? I was gloating.

WordGirl: Well, you’re not very good at the gloating.

Dr. Two-Brains: I don’t care what you think, WordGirl, I’m at peace with my gloating skills! And my new weapon!

(Charlie is standing on top of the van “modeling” the weapon, which is some sort of ray gun.)

WordGirl: Oh wait, let me guess. Uh, another ray that turns stuff into cheese, huh?

Dr. Two-Brains: No-- (pauses) Well, maybe-- Hey, so what if it is? I like cheese! It’s a gift that I enjoy giving to myself.

WordGirl: Trust me, we know.

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, the whole city’s going to know, because this little mama turns whole BUILDINGS into cheese! Ha-ha-ha! (Points to Charlie) Hit it!

(Charlie pulls the lever on the ray, which has been pointed toward a nearby building. It transforms into cheese.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha, it worked!

WordGirl: Alright, so you turned an abandoned building into cheese. Is that it? Are we done here?

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh noo, not by a long shot! If that cheese building tastes good, I’m going to zap the entire city! And there’s not a thing you can do about it! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to eat a building.

Henchman 1: Boss, did you know there is a town in England called Cheddar?

Dr. Two-Brains: There is not-- really?

(There is a montage of scenes showing both WordGirl fighting the energy field, and Two-Brains attacking the city. First, WordGirl takes a whole tree and smashes it against the field, with no effect. Next, Two-Brains turns a dry cleaning store into cheese. Next, WordGirl brings a meteor from space and throws it against the force field, but it just bounces off and nearly hits Huggy, who is attempting to chisel away at the force field. Next, Two-Brains attacks the bowling alley, turning it into cheese. Next, WordGirl tries digging under the ground, but finds that the force field extends below ground. Finally, Two-Brains turns the library into cheese.)

WordGirl: I guess that thing really IS  indestructible ! We can’t break it!

Narrator: Will WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face find a way to get back in before Dr. Two-Brains turns the city into cheese? Will WordGirl learn how to boogie-oogie-oogie before the big dance? Will WordGirl discover a way to use boogie-oogie-oogie’ing to destroy Dr. Two-Brains’ energy field? Hmm?

WordGirl: (gasps) Wait a minute, that’s it! I’ve got an idea that’s just crazy enough to work! If I can boogie-oogie-oogie at super-speed,  shimmy ing at just the right rhythm and frequency, maybe, just maybe, I can disrupt the energy field and make my way back in. Well, let’s face the music and dance!

(She begins dancing as horribly as she did earlier.)

Narrator: Oh, my.

WordGirl: Da-da-da-da!

(Huggy whimpers as he watches. He then covers his eyes.)

WordGirl: Hoo-waa!

Narrator: Stop.

(Two-Brains and the henchmen drive by in the van. Two-Brains spots WordGirl as she pathetically tries to dance. He spits cheese out of his mouth.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Wait, what are you doing? (to henchmen) What is she doing?

WordGirl: Boogie-oogie-oogie’ing my way back into the city!

(Scene: on nearby Meditation Hill. Mr. Botsford sits atop the hill meditating, along with others who are meditating on other parts of the hill.)

Mr. Botsford: Ahh. Well, that was refreshing. Now I am ready to-- SWEET BABY CARROTS!

(He looks over and sees WordGirl trying to boogie-oogie-oogie.)

Mr. Botsford: I have to put a stop to this right now! Out of my way, relaxers! Namaste! Keep it mellow. Sorry. EMERGENCY!

(He grabs his boombox and runs down the hill, knocking people over in the process. Meanwhile, back at the force field, Two-Brains has come over to witness WordGirl’s dance.)

WordGirl: Get ready, doc! I’m going to  shimmy  right through this energy field!

Dr. Two-Brains:  Shimmy ?

WordGirl: Yeah,  shimmy ! To shake and dance.

Dr. Two-Brains: I know what  shimmy  means, have you seen my high school yearbook? I’m just-- surprised.

WordGirl: Why? Because I figured out your energy field’s weakness?

(She tries to run through it, but bounces off and falls to the ground.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Uh no, I’m surprised you thought that would work! You can’t  shimmy  through an  indestructible  energy field, come on! It’s  shimmy -proof!

(Mr. Botsford runs over to where Two-Brains is standing.)

Mr. Botsford: Stop, it’s horrible! Horrible!

WordGirl: I know, anonymous concerned citizen, but I’ll figure out a way to disarm this energy field, don’t you worry!

Mr. Botsford: No! Not the energy field-- although it is scary looking. No, I was talking about your dancing! It’s even scarier looking!

WordGirl: Oh, right. Well, dancing isn’t really my strong suit, I’m more of a superhero.

Mr. Botsford: Yes, but I have just the thing for you. My own personal boogie-oogie-oogie instructional video. You can borrow it when my daughter’s finished watching it.

WordGirl: No, no, that’s okay.

Mr. Botsford: No, really! I insist.

Dr. Two-Brains: I hate to break this up, but-- no, that’s not true, ‘cause I don’t. Anyway, I’m going to turn this whole city into admittedly mediocre cheese, and no one can stop me! Ba-ha-ha-ha!

WordGirl: Listen, stranger who i’ve never seen before, you see that remote control right there?

Mr. Botsford: Yes?

WordGirl: Well, that’s the button that turns this  indestructible  energy field off. You have to hit it so I can stop Dr. Two-Brains!

Mr. Botsford: You’ve got it, WordGirl!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, no you don’t! Henchmen, grab Mr.  Shimmy !

WordGirl: Oh no, look out!

Mr. Botsford: Ha! Not to worry. Watch closely, WordGirl. Here’s your first boogie-oogie-oogie lesson!

(He starts the player on the boombox, and leaps over to the henchmen. He starts dancing in front of them, and soon they get wrapped up in the music and start dancing themselves.)

Mr. Botsford: Yay, oh, ha look out! Shake it don't break it, ha!

Dr. Two-Brains: No, wait! Stop! Stop!

Mr. Botsford: Oh, did you say stop? You can’t stop the boogie!

(He reaches over and presses the button on the remote, turning off the energy field.)

WordGirl: Way to go, Dad!

Mr. Botsford: Yeah! (pause) Did you just call me Dad?

WordGirl: No.

Mr. Botsford: Are you sure? I thought--

WordGirl: Okay, Two-Brains! You might as well give up!

(She flies over to Two-Brains, and Mr. Botsford shrugs and goes back to dancing.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha-ha-ha, I don’t think so! Check it out! My ray is now pointed at the city skyline! There’s absolutely nothing you can--

(She flies over and grabs him, and Huggy lands on the ray and yanks some wires out of it.)

WordGirl: Okay, let’s wrap this up!

(She runs into the henchman with Two-Brains, knocking all three of them into a pile next to the remote. She presses a button on the remote, creating a small energy field around him and the henchmen.)

WordGirl: Looks like you’re going to boogie-oogie-oogie into prison, Doc! Ha-ha!

Mr. Botsford: Great polyester leisure suits! What time is it?

(Huggy holds up his wrist so Mr. Botsford can see his watch.)

Mr. Botsford: Four o’clock? The dance contest is starting soon, I have to hustle!

WordGirl: Oh, me too!

Mr. Botsford: Why? Are you in the contest?

WordGirl: Y-y- Ha-ha, you’d better hurry!

Mr. Botsford: Right!

WordGirl: Right. Word UP! (takes off with Huggy)

Mr. Botsford: Boogie DOWN!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, man. You think they’ll forget to call the police again?

Henchman 1: Can someone scratch my nose?

(Scene: The dance contest. A crowd has gathered, and the contestants are lined up next to the stage. Mr. Botsford is with them, looking concerned, when Becky and Bob show up.)

Mr. Botsford: Oh, great! We all made it! Wait! Becky, where’s your costume? I’ll look silly if you’re not in costume!

Becky: Uh, yeah. It kind of got ruined? Sorry?

Mr. Botsford: Impossible. It’s made from  indestructible  spandex! Watch. (He pulls on his lapels, and they snap back.)

Becky: Right… listen Dad. I don’t really want to do this.

Mr. Botsford: Oh yes you do!

Becky: No, look Dad. Winning this contest is important to you, and if you dance with me, there’s no way you’ll win.

Mr. Botsford: Oh, honey. I don’t care about winning. (stops and thinks) Okay, I do care about winning. But do you know what I care more about? Dancing with my daughter.

Becky: Aww, thanks Dad. (Hugs him.)

Mr. Botsford: So come on, what do you say?

Becky: Yeah, still no. I’ll dance with you, just not in a big competition in front of the whole city! Deal?

Mr. Botsford: Deal. But now what am I gonna do? This is a two-person dance competition! Oh…

Becky: I think I have an idea!

(Mrs. Botsford walks up behind Bob with a costume in her hands.)

(Scene: After the competition.)

Host: And the winners for this year’s City-Wide Boogie-oogie-oogie Dance Contest are…

(The spotlight zooms in on Mr. Botsford and his partner, Bob)

Host: Tim and Bob Botsford!

(The crowd cheers and throws roses.)

Narrator: And so, Dr. Two-Brains’  indestructible  energy field was no match for the power of the boogie-oogie-oogie! And Becky didn’t have to  shimmy  in front of the entire city.

Becky: Phew!

Narrator: Tune in again next time for another thrill-packed adventure of… WordGirl!

(Mr. Botsford and Bob have been boogie-oogie-oogie’ing during the closing remarks, and at the end all of the competitors do jazz hands.)