The Age of Tony Stark

Hawkeye: You won't get anything out of him.

Guy's lost his marbles.

He lost more than that. The Infinity stones are out there.

We need to find them, Hawkeye.

Careful, Tony. If there's one thing I've learned all these years, never let your guard down on Red Skull for a second.

That was evil-mastermind Skull.

This is cosmic brain-fry Skull.

I prefer this one.

(Grunting)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tony: Skull?

Huh?

Your Infinity stones are playing hard to get.

(Beeping)

Huh?

Except this energy Spike.

Either you lost your cell phone, or this is some kind of homing signal.

Time!

Great. Got him all riled up. Any other brilliant ideas, Tony?

Tony: "Time."

"Space".

"Power".

"Mind".

"Reality".

He just gave me everything I needed. Thanks, Skull.

Did you know Tony speaks gibberish?

Reality, mind, power, space, and time.

Heard you the first 10 times. That a list of every subject you're a Doctor in?

They're the powers of the five infinity stones. I've been looking at this wrong.

It's not where the Time stone is...

But when it is. Awesome!

This thing better not send us into the past.

I never wanna relive grade school.

(Shudders)

It couldn't have been that bad, Hawkeye.

I try to draw strength from my past.

History is filled with glory.

You kidding?

History's a series of bad ideas we are now improving on.

Come on, Tony. Even you have to see value in where you've come from.

I'm a man of the future. You're a nostalgia guy.

It's okay. Keeps you interesting.

(Beeping)

Fascinating conversation, but we're here.

Okay.

If my calculations are correct, and of course they are, the Time stone should reappear right here.

In three, two, one.

And look at that. Right again.

Aah!

Why do I always have to be right?

Jarvis, reboot! Jarvis!

Tony!

This is why Asgardian armor requires no batteries.

Well, at least we weren't zapped back in time.

(Chuckles)

You'd all hate my grade school, too.

(Screaming)

(Screeching)

Oh, okay, what's next, prom?

(screeching)

Dinosaur attack? No, thank you!

Love dinosaur attacks.

Anyone wanna play catch the genius?

My power's out.

My hammer never stops working.

Not the time, Thor.

(Grunts)

(Screeching continues)

(Yelling)

See, Cap, this is why I hate the past.

(Screeching)

Falcon: You can return your prom tux, Hawkeye.

According to the data, we're still in the present.

Looks like someone forgot to tell them.

If we're not in the past, where'd these things come from?

The savage land?

Dinosaurs.

And I wasted my time saving Iron Man?

Excuse me?

(Grunts)

(Chuckles)

I haven't fought a dinosaur in weeks.

Not again.

(Grunts)

Watch where you throw that thing!

All: Whoa.

(Grunts)

Any explanations, Einstein?

Either we just stumbled into some awesome amusement park, or I accidentally ripped a hole through the fabric of time.

Can you repair the rift?

Have you met me? Of course I can.

Just gotta get the stone out of my ARC reactor.

Reboot.

These are the times you always proclaim, "reboot"!

Tried that. Didn't work.

(Voice cracking) Something's seriously wrong.

Uh, yeah, with your voice.

There a problem with your speaker?

(Clears throat)

Better?

Nope.

Jarvis: The armor is perfectly functional, Sir, but it doesn't recognize your specific body signature.

It thinks someone else is in the armor.

Who does it think I am?

Get it off me. I'm so done with this. don't you think you're being a little impatient?

You get trapped in a tin can, and we'll see how patient you are.

Hulk, faceplate.

Off. Now.

It's gonna get crushed.

I don't care! Just get it off me!

(Grunts)

Huh.

(Chuckles)

Tony's beard!

Worst... day... ever.

Jarvis: It appears you've reversed-aged into a teenager, Sir.

I have eyes, Jarvis.

You wanted to know why the armor didn't recognize you.

It was designed for an adult Tony Stark.

Aah!

(Gasps)

What's causing these shifts?

His ARC reactor's attached to his heart.

Maybe heart rate triggers it.

Not worried about the why, guys.

Worried about the "how do I stop this"?

These time blasts have to end before I...

Is that a zit?

Every time that stone de-ages you, the temporal waves draw in stuff from other eras.

What kind of stuff?

Man: Aah! Run!

Hulk: Ooh, a T-Rex!

(Clamoring) (Roars)

(Sighs)

Okay. Maybe this is worse than grade school.

(Clamoring)

And up here on Broadway... uh...

(Thuds)

(Growling)

Aah!

(All clamoring)

(Roars) (Screaming)

Woman: Giant creature!

Welcome to the big apple.

Arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, if you wanna keep them.

Dinos hate fire, right?

Not as much as hammers.

(Grunts)

Hawkeye: Show off.

Captain America: Avengers, herd them to midtown. Create a perimeter.

(All gasp)

(Roaring)

(Sirens wailing)

(Roaring)

Wow. That was impressive.

Speaks my language.

Thor, 6:00.

(Yells)

(Chuckles) I so enjoy this.

Perhaps you don't need to repair that Time stone after all.

There's more at stake than bashing dinosaurs.

I don't need a babysitter, Cap.

I'm still brilliant, even if I'm a teenager.

I'm not babysitting. I'm here to help. don't need it. Watch this.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Yes. Maybe.

I've never had a Time stone stuck in my chest before.

But whatever. Here we go.

(Yells)

(Grunts)

Why'd you let me do that?

I tried to warn you... don't act like my dad.

He thought you were so awesome that I should just be like you.

Guess what. I'm not the great Captain America.

(Gasping)

(In boyish voice) I need your help, Cap.

(Growling)

Hey, you! This way!

Time to reintroduce you to some old friends.

(Grunts)

Taking down dinosaurs... mastered.

(Rumbling)

What now?

Time stream disruption detected. Primary programming destroyed.

Thoughts on deadly robots from the future?

Always up for something new.

(Straining)

(Roaring)

I really need to go bowling again.

Robot: Maestro detected.

Huh?

Eliminate.

(Grunting)

No matter what era they are from, everyone fears lightning.

(Grunts)

Captain America: Uh, Thor, lead them away from the building.

That is a superior plan!

(Alarm buzzing) (Zapping)

Why can't I get this to work?

This is so lame.

Try to have patience, Tony.

(Explosion)

Jarvis: Young Sir, there's an intrusion on the holding cell floor.

I'll handle it. Focus on rebuilding the armor.

Red Skull.

Avengers, we have a breach.

(Grunts) (Growling)

(Grunts)

(Growling)

(Groans)

Stark.

Stone...

Mine!

What a freak.

Jarvis, can't you shut off the elevator or something?

The damage to the tower put the defenses offline, Sir.

Remind me to invent you better next time.

There's too many of them. We need a new angle.

(Roars)

Now, that's my kind of bowling.

Bowling robots with dinosaurs?

You'll smash half the city.

No fun.

(Grunts)

(Beeping)

Stark.

Time stone.

(Grunts)

Marbles!

Tony: Watch where you're going, ugly.

(Growls)

(Grunts)

(Panting)

Nowhere to run.

(Yells)

(Grunts)

Huh?

Classic hologram trick. Gets them every time.

Soon!

Why do you want this thing so bad?

It's nothing but a pain in my butt.

Well, actually, my chest.

Mine!

Activating Captain America training sequence.

(Grunts)

(Grunting)

Stark.

(Growling)

(Gasps)

(Gasping)

(Roars)

(Grunting)

(Growling)

Punking Skull is actually kind of fun.

Sweet!

(Reading) Sorry I missed your party again this year, dad ugh! Why did I keep this junk?

Whoa!

My first armor design.

Brilliant but never worked.

Without an ARC reactor.

(Monster growling)

(Grunting)

(Straining)

Stark!

(Yells)

(Grunts)

Tony, report in.

But how would the joints...

Oh, I get it. Nice job, me. You've always been a genius.

Ugh!

(Grunting)

(Metallic clacking) (Grunts)

Twenty more robots, three more arrows.

Then the odds are in our favor.

I hope the next time quake brings us something we don't have to fight.

Oh, yeah? I hope there's no next time quake.

Looks like your unlucky day, Hawkeye.

Great.

(Screeching)

So, that's what happened to the lost Hydra squadron.

Should've stayed lost.

(Grunting)

(Car alarm blaring)

(Grunts)

You'll not feed on Asgardian today, beast!

(Grunts)

Come out.

(Rattling)

Little boy...

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

(Door opens)

Yes.

Get away from me! don't be such a baby.

(Grunts)

Time stone!

(Heart beating)

Aah!

(Grunts)

(Laughing)

(Sighs)

Younger. It's good to be back.

The Avengers are gonna be here any minute to kick your red can.

Your friends are occupied with the chaos you've created.

Now...

Picking on kids?

That's a new low, which is a lot considering it's you.

(Whirrs)

(Grunts)

Jet skates deploy.

Aah!

(Grunting)

I have been waiting to do that.

Come on. Come on!

All right, gang. We're outnumbered and outgunned.

We've handled worse, right?

I'm not sure that's true.

Hawkeye: And since Cap and Tony aren't here, I finally get to say it.

Ave....

Avengers, assemble!

Oh, come on!

The Time stone is mine!

(Grunts) (Grunts)

The last place that kind of power belongs is in your hands.

(Grunts) (Grunts)

Now that my mind has returned, you'll never contain me again!

(Grunting)

(Grunting)

(Grunts)

Right mind or not, you're going back to your cell, Skull.

(Both grunting)

(Grunts)

Let go of me!

The Time stone is mine.

As if. Now!

(Grunts) (Grunts)

(Grunting)

Whoa!

Whoa!

(Grunts)

(Straining)

(Grunts)

(Laughs)

(Groans)

I am Iron Kid!

Pathetic.

(Grunts)

Aah!

Ugh!

(Yelling)

(Yelling)

(Screeches)

Tony, you okay?

I'm awesome.

Uh, can you help me up?

I can't control...

Focus, Tony. You have the power to stop the time slips.

What if it doesn't work?

What if I de-age into nothing?

What if I destroy the universe?

Cap, I'm scared.

No need to be, son.

Easy for you to say.

You're a big, brave superhero.

I was brave long before I was Captain America.

And Tony Stark was a hero long before he was Iron Man.

(Sobbing)

(Growls)

The last one. Untested energy arrow.

Experimental.

So experiment.

Oh, I'm sorry. Was that me? Was that the best shot ever?

I've contained the Time stone.

(Mechanical humming)

That should solve our problems.

That was you, Tony?

Uh...

(Sighs)

It was still a mighty shot, Hawkeye.

Right?

You designed this when you were eight?

I should go through my old sketchbooks.

One Infinity stone down.

Imagine if Thanos got his hands on this thing.

He'd probably do worse than send me back to grade school.

Any clue why there's a bilgesnipe in our stairwell?

Who let Bilgy out of my room?

(Grunts)

(Clanging)

Jarvis, pause the training session.

I thought having a photographic memory meant I'd never forget anything.

Tony Stark actually forgot something?

How tough being a kid can be.

You were right. The past can teach us things.

Like what being a hero is.

I made that shield myself.

Come on. I'll let you practice with the real thing.

You know, I can take this to the lab and make some modern improvements.

Kidding. Sort of.

Jarvis, resume the training session.