Alive!

(The episode opens on Cow and Chicken's house, where inside the living room, Chicken is seen with his parents.)

Dad: "We sure are glad you could pop over on such short notice and babysit Cow.

Mom: "Where would we be without you, Boneless Chicken?"

(The camera pans right to focus on Boneless Chicken, Chicken's cousin without a skeleton.)

Boneless Chicken: "Where? Well, you'd be up a creek without a paddle or burning your bridges before they're hatched. Who can say, really?"

[Mom, Dad, and Chicken laugh at Boneless' joke.]

Dad: "Oh, Boneless, you always kill us!"

Boneless Chicken: "Ah, go on."

Dad: "Will you be needing anything while we're away?"

Boneless Chicken: "Sure, how 'bout a spine for my limp and lifeless body?" (Mom, Dad, and Chicken laugh once more as they soon head for Chicken's parent-teacher conference.) "No, really. I could use a spine." (He then watches TV until the house shakes, as Cow comes in the living room.)

Cow: "Oh, Boneless Chicken! Oh, my favorite cousin! Have you missed me, cousin? I missed you. Oh, oh! Let's take our wittle selves out to play "Catch Cousin Bonewess"!"

Boneless Chicken : "Yeah, I'd love to, Cow. But, I promised the TV here I'd keep an eye on him."

(Cow moos hesitantly and hops down on the love seat, squashing Boneless. She pulls him out of her backside.)

Cow : "I know! We'll play Catch now and watch TV later, okay?" (She kisses Boneless and puts him in her teeth.)

Boneless Chicken : "Let the games begin!" (Cow dashes outside the house and throws Boneless in the air.) "Wheeeeee!" (Cow catches him in her teeth.) "Touchdown!"

Cow: "A home run, too!" (She throws him on a tree branch, where he twists around the branch.)

Boneless Chicken : "Ha-ha-ha! Hey, you've been practicin', huh?"

(She pulls Boneless off the branch and throws him higher in the air.)

Both: "Wheeeeee!"

Boneless Chicken : "Yahoo!" (He lands on the roof. Cow waits for Boneless to land in her arms, until she opens her eyes, noticing Boneless is gone, and looks around herself for Boneless, until she sees Boneless on the roof.) "'Ey, kid! Game over!" (Cow gasps and sees Boneless sizzling on the roof by the sun.) "Help me!"

Cow : "Oh! The hot sun is going to cook Boneless Chicken!" (She runs off and fetches a ladder. She puts it by the roof.) "I've never been way up on the roof before." (She cautiously climbs the ladder and reaches the roof, where she turns to Boneless.)

Boneless Chicken : "Oh, thank goodness. You made it, Cow. The heat's really starting to get to me."

Cow : (grabs Boneless) "Gotcha, Boneless Chicken!" (She bumps into the ladder by accident, causing it to topple. Cow desperately tries to reach it, but the ladder then lands in the backyard, causing them to be stranded on the roof.) "Oh!" (gasps, dropping Boneless) "We're stuck!"

Boneless Chicken : "I can't argue with you there, Cow. We're about as stuck as it gets."

(Cow flops down on the roof and cries hopelessly.)

Cow : "Mom and Dad will never find us! We're lost! We're marooned! Forever! What about food?" (She grabs Boneless.) "Oh, I'm starving!" (whines) "Without food or water, we will die!"

Boneless Chicken : "I don't think anyone's ever died from being stuck on a roof."

(Cow drops Boneless and sees three skeletons of a pair of TV repairmen and their dog.)

Cow : (gasping) "I gotta eat something! Anything!" (pants) "Oh! Oh! I'll even eat Buh-Buh-Buh..." (She imagines Boneless as a main course meal.)

Boneless Chicken : "Bad idea."

Cow : "Don't move, Boneless! I-" (Her conscience takes over, as Cow gives up and cries some more, grabbing Boneless.) "I CAN'T! But, I'm so hungry!"

(Later, Cow has set up a box trap for some bait to come by, as a crow caws nearby.)

Cow : "Okay, Boneless. Lunch is on its way." (A fish hops onto the roof.) "Come on, you wittle fishy. Get in the box."

(The fish hops under the box. Cow yanks the cord, trapping him. She then opens the box and grabs the fish. But, just as Cow is about to eat the fish, a bigger fish jumps up and eats her prey instead. Later, Cow marks the days that Cow and Boneless have been stranded on a chimney.)

Cow : "The days seem to be turning into weeks." (wipes some sweat off her brow) "How long we've been up here, Boneless? Boneless?" (She freaks out.) "BONELESS!"

(Poor Boneless is being sizzled by the sun's rays so painfully that he has developed heat marks and lumps on his skin, as some bacon and eggs appear next to him.)

Boneless Chicken : (moaning painfully) "Is that you, Grandpa?" (Cow squirts him with milk to survive.) "Grandma!"

(Later, as Cow and Boneless lay dehydrated on the roof, Cow perks up her ear for the sound of helicopter. She looks up and sees one flying above the neighborhood.)

Cow : (to Boneless, excitedly) "We're going to be rescued, Boneless! Oh! Moo!" (She jumps up and down for the helicopter pilot to see.) "Hey, Mr. Helicopter! We're here, and we're alive!" (She sees the helicopter pass by them, forcing her to think fast. She dives into the attic.)

Helicopter Pilot: "There's a 10 minute tie-up on the southbound 105 and-Wait a minute! Somebody's up on the roof spelling out something and..." (Cow quickly lays each card out on the roof to form the message.) "It says, uh, "My cousin and I were playing catch..." (He sees the message laid out on the roof missing the word, "Help".) "And I tossed him too high, and he got stuck on the roof, and then I came up. And now, we need..." Need what?" (He crashes his helicopter into a tree.)

Cow : (shattered) "Oh! Oh, no! That was our last hope!" (She faints, bouncing Boneless on his spot.)

(Later, Mom, Dad, and Chicken have returned from his parent-teacher conference. Dad is standing on the ladder leading to the roof.)

Dad : "Cow, wake up, sweetheart."

(Cow wakes up and sees her family having come home.)

Cow: (happily) "Dad!"

Boneless Chicken : "Cow's dad!"

(Cow flops next to Boneless.)

Cow: (happily) "Oh, we're saved!"

Dad: "Grab your cousin and come on down."

(Cow puts Boneless in her teeth and hops down, crash-landing on the ground.)

Cow: "I'm alive!" (She spits out Boneless, who lands in front of Chicken.) "Oh, Mom and Dad! I have missed you both so much these long months of being marooned."

Dad: "Sweetheart, we've only been gone a half an hour at Chicken's parent-teacher conference."

(Cow hugs Chicken.)

Cow : "Oh, I missed you..." (sobs) "The most, brother!"

Mom: "Oh, now, isn't that cute, Dad?"

Dad : (chuckles) "Sends shivers up and down my legs." (Cousin Boneless is put on a stretcher cart by a team of paramedics.) "Well, looks like Cousin Boneless is gonna be okay." (His tone becomes serious.) "Cow, we need to talk about your poor for the passage of time. I was going to wait 'til your wedding day to give you this, but I think you may need it now." (He passes down a clock to Cow, who gasps in delight.)

Mom : "It's a clock, Cow."

Dad : "It was worn by my mother; something passed down from generation to generation to all the girls in my family." (He starts sobbing.) "My mother gave it to me. And now, I present it to you, Cow."

Cow : (tearfully) "I wove you, Dad!"

Chicken: (uncaringly) "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Boneless Chicken : (breaking the silence) "Hey, remind me to never to go into the roofing business again with Cow! I know I'll get burned!"

(He starts laughing, followed by Mom, Dad, Cow, Chicken, and the paramedics, as they go into a laugh riot. Only Chicken stops laughing and turns to the camera.)

Chicken : (to the audience) "Remind me to put myself up for adoption.)

(Iris Out)

(Cut to 'End' card)

Chicken : "End!"

(Black Out)