The Brain

Diagnosing Anais

 * Okay let me see.




 * One-hundred and ten.


 * One-hundred and ten degrees? She's burning up!


 * No, that's just how much we charge for removing the thermometer. Her temperature is normal. Ninety-eight.




 * No, ninety-eight is how much it cost for me to explain that to you.




 * Now, follow my finger.




 * Interesting. How about...




 * Well, as a medical practitioner, I don't like the sound of this at all. But as a part-time deejay, I'm kind of feeling it. Me and my dogs we keep it a hundred, hundred. Money in the way twenty-twenty focused, skree. Stacks and stacks skrilla up to the ceiling, ceiling. Hands in the air, you know the feeling, skree.


 * Doctor, please. Can you tell us what's wrong with her?


 * Yes, allow me to demonstrate. Could one of you do something stupid?




 * I got it!




 * Just as I suspected. Your daughter's been facepalming at your stupidity for so long it's becoming dangerous. Take a look at this X-ray.




 * There will be serous consequences for her brain if she facepalms again. Let's assume this is a standard Watterson brain. If the facepalming continues, in six months, she'll go from a  Nicole to a Gumball.  In nine months, she'll be a Darwin.  By twelves months, she'll have the intelligence of an amoeba. . And at eighteen months, she'll have gone full Richard.


 * Oh no! Richard am sad!


 * What should we do Doctor?


 * I'm afraid there's only one cure. Anais cannot be exposed to any form of stupidity for an entire week.


 * Nine whole days?!

Trying not to mess up



 * It's gonna be pretty hard not to mess up, even with her wearing noise-cancelling headphones. I mean, dumbness kind of runs in our family. Just look at the Watterson coat of arms.


 * What does that Latin stuff mean?


 * "Insert Family Motto Here."


 * Yeah, okay guys, can you just get on with it?


 * Oh yeah, sorry. Five milkshakes and a double-triple cheeseburger.


 * For the fifth time, sir, this is a hospital parking lot, there's no food here.


 * What about those mints?




 * You forgot the napkins.




 * No, more to the left.




 * Almost there.




 * Little but further.




 * There you go. Thank you.


 * I think I'm gonna put these noise-cancelling headphones right here.




 * Two cheeseburgers please, and hold the pickle.






 * She's asleep.


 * Good, then that is probably the time we drain ourselves.


 * What do you mean?


 * Well, I feel like a giant udder of stupidity, bloating and bursting waiting for someone, anyone to milk me.