Hunkahunka


 * [Lilo runs into the house; Stitch is exhausted]
 * Lilo: AAAAAH!!!! HE'S COMING! THIS IS A CATASTROPHE! HE'S ON HIS WAY RIGHT NOW!!
 * Pleakley: Hold it! HOLD EVERYTHING!! Now explain to me slowly and clearly exactly what happened.
 * Lilo: Okay. Keoni Jameson was holding a bouquet of flowers, when he asked Tino directions to our house. When Tino asked why he wanted directions, he said he had to ask a real cutie something. It's so obvious what he has in mind.
 * Pleakley: Now explain to me slowly and clearly exactly what happened.
 * Lilo: Keoni is going to ask me to the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe festival! [pause] The annual Valentine's Day festival!
 * Pleakley: And this is a catastrophe how?
 * Lilo: Only because I'm so not ready! Stitch, you stall him. Act like I'm too pretty to come to the door. And Pleakley, stay out of the way.
 * Pleakley: Oh, you won't even know I'm here! All of Galactic Federation observers, such as myself, are masters of the art of seamlessly blending in.
 * [the doorbell rings]
 * Lilo: That's him!
 * Pleakley: WAIT!! I'm not seamlessly blended in yet! I'm un-seamlessly un-blended!


 * [Lilo kicks Keoni out of the house after she finds out he really has a crush on Pleakley in his female disguise]
 * Lilo: It's a world gone mad!
 * Pleakley: Lilo, it's called camouflage. He's supposed to think I'm an attractive Earth woman.
 * Jumba: [chuckles] Someone found Pleakley attractive?
 * Lilo: Not someone! KEONI!!! Poor guy must have ear bugs eating his brain.
 * Jumba: Hmm, I fear it could be possibly something far in the way worse. Here, look your eyeballs on this. Is Experiment 323. It must have been activated, and is loose on island. One peck from its beak causes victim to fall head over feet in love with the very next person they see! [laughs maniacally but then falls off his chair] Lovesickness is very destructive. Can bring entire societies crashing to standstill.
 * Lilo: Oh! So, Keoni just got pecked by your Hunkahunka Bird of Love experiment.
 * Jumba: He is only thing could explain sensible tweenage boy having crush on one-eyed noodle like Pleakley.
 * Pleakley: Oh, and I suppose he couldn't have just fallen for my brilliant Earth female disguise.
 * Lilo: I don't think so.
 * Jumba: Impossible!
 * Stitch: Naga.


 * [Pleakley approaches a group of surfers while dressed as a Spanish flamenco dancer]
 * Pleakley: Hi, boys. Could one of you help with some sunblock? [the surfers stare at him] That is a completely believable request from a beautiful Earth woman, right?
 * Surfer: Um... I guess so.
 * Pleakley: Good. Let me get out my lotion. [as he looks in his bag, his wig falls off]
 * Surfer: No! I mean, on second thought, we gotta go catch some choice waves. Now! Seeya! [he and the other surfer dash away]
 * Pleakley: Wait! Come back here! I'm beautiful! [sighs]


 * [Lilo is trying to ask Keoni to the dance]
 * Lilo: So, Keoni, if you're going to the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe, it's accustomed to bring a date.
 * Keoni: Yeah, I know. That's why I asked your Aunt Pleakley. She is such a hottie.
 * Stitch: [drags the cooler containing Hunkahunka toward Lilo] Maka maka, sassa!
 * Lilo: Not now, Stitch. I'm trying to get Keoni to ask me to the dance. [a rattle is heard from the cooler] Oh, you caught Hunkahunka! [picks up Hunkahunka] Perfect!
 * Stitch: Naga, naga!
 * Lilo: Keoni, do I have something in my teeth?
 * Keoni: Not that I can see. [Lilo puts Hunkahunka behind Keoni's neck, causing him to peck Keoni and look straight at Lilo] I think I love you.
 * Lilo: Attaboy, Stitch! Good thinking.
 * Stitch: Aba tooka! [puts Hunkahunka back in the cooler] Cousin, home.
 * Lilo: Oh, we can find the one true place he truly belongs later. Right now, Keoni and I are gonna spend some quality time together. Right, Keoni?
 * Keoni: Whatever you say, Lilo.
 * [Stitch groans in frustation]


 * [Stitch returns home with Hunkahunka waiting in the cooler]
 * Jumba: Ah, 626, good. Here you are. I have found antidote for lovesickness. Victim of 323 is affected by the proboscis injection in coordination with retinal stimuli. Therefore, a rehydration of optical nerves and surrounding sensory sensors will negate the effect.
 * Stitch: [confused] Huh?
 * Jumba: Spraying of water in face will cure lovesickness.


 * Lilo: Hey, wanna play Skip Rocks? I'll go first, because I'm the lady.
 * Keoni: So, what do I do?
 * Lilo: Um, you have to skip a stone and see if you can win. [throws a flat stone that skips across the water]
 * Keoni: Do you want me to win?
 * Lilo: Well, no.... I wanna win, that's the game.
 * Keoni: [simply picks up a large stone and drops into the water] You won!
 * Lilo: Yeah....


 * [Stitch zaps Hunkahunka and puts him in the doorprize drawing box outside the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe dance]
 * Lilo: Stitch! Good thing you're here! Man, I never should have used Hunkahunka to peck Keoni. This fakey love is the worst! Did Jumba give you the antidote?
 * Stitch: Ih!
 * Lilo: Good. I need to get some to Keoni fast. Is it in here? [takes the box]
 * Stitch: Naga! Naga! [as soon as the box opens, Hunkahunka flees into the dance room] Doonga!
 * Lilo: Oops. Well, how was I supposed to know? Why was it in a box?


 * [Gantu captures Hunkahunka and Stitch uses the fire alarm to break everybody out of their lovesickness]
 * Pleakley: So it was all an experiment's fault. I guess my attractive Earth woman's camouflage was a miserable failure after all.
 * Keoni: Miss Pleakley? You look really nice tonight.
 * Lilo: Uh-oh. Keoni must not have gotten wet.
 * Pleakley: Time to get over it, kiddo. [sprays water into Keoni's face]
 * Keoni: Wow. You're beautiful and quirky.
 * Pleakley: I am? I am, aren't I?! Woo-hoo! My camouflage is beautiful after all!
 * Lilo: Wow, Keoni had a real crush on Pleakley all along.
 * Stitch: Ooh! Naga botifa!


 * [Gantu transports Hunkahunka to Hämsterviel]
 * Hämsterviel: You have an experiment? Give it to me! FASTER!!! Why are you so slow, you slow sharky thing?! You are the most incompetent of incompetence! And another I have been meaning to tell you... [Hunkahunka pecks him, causing him to feel a love connection with Gantu] I think I love you!
 * Gantu: Really? Tell me more.
 * Hämsterviel: Like that idiotic look on your face when you have no clue what you are doing, it is so disgustingly cute! And all those stupid things you say, oh, how you make me laugh! I love it!
 * Gantu: Oh, blitznack.