The Internet


 * and : Ooh!
 * Dude, his foot is pointed in the wrong direction!
 * He’s going to be walking in circles for the rest of his life! Pick something else! Pick something else!!
 * and : Aw!
 * Gosh, this is so cute, it should be illegal. What’s up with you?
 * Dude, please click something else. These puppies are so sweet, they’re making me fat!
 * Huh? There’s no ghost in this video.  It’s just a car driving down the r--
 * Pbht! Wasn't scary at all. Let’s watch some more people making fools of themselves.
 * What the what?! How did that happen?! What’s going on here?! Stop it!
 * It’s your fat fingers, dude. You started the webcam and uploaded yourself by mistake.
 * Stop laughing, and do something!
 * I’m doomed! I broke the number-one rule of the Internet -- don’t put yourself on the Internet!
 * Come on, man. Do you know how many videos there are on the Internet? You’re just a drop of embarrassment in an ocean of shame. I’m sure no one’s seen it yet.
 * No! Man, how is that even possible?! That’s more views than there are people on Earth!
 * Well, on the plus side, it can’t get any worse. Anyway, it’s the Internet, dude. It’ll die out as fast as it started.
 * Delete it! Do something!
 * I can’t. You can’t delete anything on the web.
 * Do something! Do something now! Do something!!
 * Oh, yeah. That’s better.
 * I... think that's enough internet for today.
 * I’m doomed! I broke the number-one rule of the Internet -- don’t put yourself on the Internet!
 * Come on, man. Do you know how many videos there are on the Internet? You’re just a drop of embarrassment in an ocean of shame. I’m sure no one’s seen it yet.
 * No! Man, how is that even possible?! That’s more views than there are people on Earth!
 * Well, on the plus side, it can’t get any worse. Anyway, it’s the Internet, dude. It’ll die out as fast as it started.
 * Delete it! Do something!
 * I can’t. You can’t delete anything on the web.
 * Do something! Do something now! Do something!!
 * Oh, yeah. That’s better.
 * I... think that's enough internet for today.
 * Oh, yeah. That’s better.
 * I... think that's enough internet for today.
 * I... think that's enough internet for today.

At the Library

 * I'm really enjoying this time off from the internet. I can finally develop my brain, and study the big classics of literature!
 * [Sees what Gumball is reading] "The Little Platypus Who Took the Wrong Bus"?
 * Oh man, it's intense! It's this platypus baby on his quest for family and identity. Is he a duck? Is he a beaver? An otter? And more to the point, where's his mother? [Slams table] A platypus child needs his mother, dude! [Sobs]
 * Well, I'm glad that's taken your mind off that video.
 * Oh yeah. No one's even mentioned it. Now that I think about it, where is everyone?
 * [Warily] What's that?
 * You've gone kind of viral, dude. You're famous!
 * What kind of famous is that!? This is stupid. I mean, what's next? The stupid face wearing a sombrero, shooting lasers at kittens, or something!?
 * That's it, I'm calling the cyber police. [Walks away] [Walks back and kicks trash bin] [Walks away]
 * That's it, I'm calling the cyber police. [Walks away] [Walks back and kicks trash bin] [Walks away]
 * That's it, I'm calling the cyber police. [Walks away] [Walks back and kicks trash bin] [Walks away]

The "Cyber" Police's Office

 * Okay. Let's have a look at these pictures, and see if I can backtrace them.
 * Ooh! Win a new car.
 * Come on, man. Everyone knows you shouldn't click on pop ups.
 * Step back, children! It's a hacker attack! Ahh! [Imitates lazers]
 * Dude, just click the pop up blocker ups.
 * What the-? That's amazing! I must send an email to the HQ.
 * What are you doing? That's not how you send emails.
 * Let the professionals do their job, kid. I've been doing this since the 80s.
 * What? In the future?
 * No. The 1980s.
 * There was a 19?
 * [Sighs] You can't delete those videos from the internet, can you?
 * Nooo. But I can delete the internet. Watch and learn, kid.
 * I'm not sure that's gonna be enough.
 * You're right! [Takes CPU off, and throws it at the floor] How's that?
 * [Sarcastically] Yeah, sure.
 * Thank you for your help, sir.
 * I'm not sure that's gonna be enough.
 * You're right! [Takes CPU off, and throws it at the floor] How's that?
 * [Sarcastically] Yeah, sure.
 * Thank you for your help, sir.
 * Thank you for your help, sir.

Darwin's Video

 * Okay. One, two, three- [Inhales deeply]
 * Darwin, there's no point. The internet has no heart, man. It's like a goatee. It's made out of pure evil.
 * Gumball, there's a beating heart in everything.
 * Really? What about zombies?
 * [Sighs] Okay. Everyone apart from people whose hearts don't beat.
 * What about jellyfish?
 * Okay, I get your point. They technically don't have hearts either, but everyone else does.
 * What about lawyers?
 * Ugh. Just press record please.
 * ''There's a beating heart in everything, except zombies, lawyers and jellyfish.
 * ''There's a beating heart in everything, except zombies, lawyers and jellyfish.
 * ''There's a beating heart in everything, except zombies, lawyers and jellyfish.

Look inside yourself, Internet, and think you see that you are being childish. You are adding sombreros and lasers, to a kid who looked like he was tasered. You laugh about it thinking it's funny, but is it, internet? Is it really? He's just a small boy with a heart like you, why'd you keep on trying to make him blue? There's a beating heart in everything, and I know that there is one in you.'' Come on, internet. I know you're better than that.
 * What's wrong with the internet, man? This video goes on for at least 20 minutes!
 * THAT'S IT! I've had it with you, internet! I'M COMING FOR YOU! I'M GONNA GO CYBER-WARRIOR ON YOUR BUTT!
 * THAT'S IT! I've had it with you, internet! I'M COMING FOR YOU! I'M GONNA GO CYBER-WARRIOR ON YOUR BUTT!

Entering the Internet

 * Du du du tun-tu tun! [Imitates airlock opening as he bends over a scanner, naked] Du du du tun-tu tun!
 * Control operator to virtual soldier. Commencing digital scan process.
 * [Whistles as he is scanned]
 * Scanning in progress. Prepare to enter the internet in 3… 2… [Sees Gumball's underside] AGHH-WHAT THE-AH! ABORT! ABORT! [Types repeatedly while covering his eyes] ABORT!

In The Bathroom

 * Mrs. Mom was right. We really didn't need that high definition scanner.
 * Alright, never mind. We'll just have to find the internet's address, and deal with this in the normal world, I guess.
 * [Stops washing his eyes] Don't be ridiculous. The internet is a thing, not a person.
 * Yeah dude. Can't you see the difference?
 * Dumb nut.
 * Dumb nut.
 * Dumb nut.

Finding The Internet

 * Ha! I knew it. The internet lives only three blocks from here! Let's go-
 * Oooh…100 funny animals in hats…click! [Clicks]
 * Aww. Okay! Let's go.
 * [Gasps] 100 greatest fails of all-time? Click! [Clicks]
 * and : OH!
 * [Clicks]
 * and : AH!
 * [Clicks]
 * and : [Covers each other's faces] [Flinches and groans]
 * Dude, wait! Can't you see what's happening? The internet is tricking us with its deadliest weapon: time-wasting.
 * You're right! Just one more, and then we'll go. [Clicks]
 * and : No no no no no-ohh!
 * Alright, just one more. [Clicks]
 * Big mistake, internet. That was a repost.
 * HA! Now that we're away from the computer, there's no way the internet can stop us finding him!
 * AH! Dude, the internet is hacking into the traffic system. It's trying to get us creamed! Come on, let's run-
 * Up-up-up! [Stops Gumball] No. We've been taught to always respect the rules of the road. [Cars pass by and crash into each other] These rules were invented to protect us, and they will.
 * Come on, it's green. [Car almost runs over him]
 * Up-up-up! Wait, stop!
 * Gumball! Do you realize how dangerous that was? If you don't respect the rules, then how do you expect cars to drive safely?
 * The rules of the road are all about trust, and you cant expect full trust- [Truck passes over him, its bottom barely touching Darwin] if you don't have any trust. Know what I mean?
 * A…
 * See? How hard was that?
 * A-er-uh…never mind, let's go.
 * Euh…Gumball and Darwin Watterson. Wanted for fraud, embezzlement, unlicensed practice of medicine, and-
 * Huh? [Gasps]
 * Okay! [Drives]
 * Hey! Come back here!
 * Wait! [Pulls out taser] Stop! I said stop!
 * Darnit, I'm out of shape.
 * (through camera): Okay, (???). It's just another block away.
 * Hmm. What's that noise?
 * I dunno. I can't hear it with that gyrating sound.
 * AH! Watch out!
 * What're we gonna do!?
 * I don't know! There's no way place to escape the internet! Technology is everywhere!
 * Except for the park.
 * Yeah, I should have thought about this earlier.
 * A-er-uh…never mind, let's go.
 * Euh…Gumball and Darwin Watterson. Wanted for fraud, embezzlement, unlicensed practice of medicine, and-
 * Huh? [Gasps]
 * Okay! [Drives]
 * Hey! Come back here!
 * Wait! [Pulls out taser] Stop! I said stop!
 * Darnit, I'm out of shape.
 * (through camera): Okay, (???). It's just another block away.
 * Hmm. What's that noise?
 * I dunno. I can't hear it with that gyrating sound.
 * AH! Watch out!
 * What're we gonna do!?
 * I don't know! There's no way place to escape the internet! Technology is everywhere!
 * Except for the park.
 * Yeah, I should have thought about this earlier.
 * (through camera): Okay, (???). It's just another block away.
 * Hmm. What's that noise?
 * I dunno. I can't hear it with that gyrating sound.
 * AH! Watch out!
 * What're we gonna do!?
 * I don't know! There's no way place to escape the internet! Technology is everywhere!
 * Except for the park.
 * Yeah, I should have thought about this earlier.
 * I don't know! There's no way place to escape the internet! Technology is everywhere!
 * Except for the park.
 * Yeah, I should have thought about this earlier.
 * Yeah, I should have thought about this earlier.

In The Internet's Lair

 * [Laughs] I can be a jerk to anyone, while I'm behind the screen, in the safety and comfort of my own home.
 * Who let you in?
 * Your mom.
 * Mom! You let enemies in to my secret base?
 * You know very well that I have no friends!
 * [Whispers to Gumball] Wow. The internet is way less impressive in real life than I thought it would be.
 * Alright dude. Delete my video, now! Or you're going offline. [Grabs a plug]
 * Huh? I can't! Nothing can be deleted from the internet!
 * You have five seconds. One…
 * Don't you realize? Think about everything the world would lose!
 * Two…
 * Think about the educational content!
 * Three…
 * Think about the freedom of speech- [Muttering] Apart from the two thirds of the world that don't have it.
 * Four…
 * THINK ABOUT THE KITTIES!
 * Five-!
 * Wait, Gumball! He's right. Think about it...
 * Yo, you okay? You're been staring at the ceiling for about fifteen minutes.
 * [Affectionately] You're so beautiful.
 * Really?
 * [Whispering] Don't ever change, internet. You were meant to be free.
 * Ughhh! Physical contact!
 * [Whispering affectionately] Just try, and take some responsibilities for your actions from time to time.
 * NEVER.
 * And maybe try to laugh with people instead of always laughing at them.
 * Yeah, that's right. Keep hoping!
 * You've got to remember that other people have hearts too.
 * Get back! This is the internet you're talking to!
 * And maybe try to laugh with people instead of always laughing at them.
 * Yeah, that's right. Keep hoping!
 * You've got to remember that other people have hearts too.
 * Get back! This is the internet you're talking to!