Gold Watch

(Episode opens at Wing Kingdom)

Benson: Guys, guys! I'd like to propose a toast. I know I'm the one being honored tomorrow with the gold watch for showing up to work 1,000 consecutive days in a row, but I want you to know: it's actually about you guys, (Claps) so thank you.

(Muscle Man, Fives, Thomas, Pops and Skips applaud.)

Skips: Thanks, Benson. That means a lot.

Thomas: How do you do it? How do you always get to work on time?

Benson: That is a great question, Thomas. Did everybody hear that? (Gestures to his forehead) The guy knows how to think. I've gotten this far in life by doing one thing, and that's playing it safe. I set three alarm clocks every night, including (Points to his watch) this one. And then, I leave my toast and coffee out the night before so that it's ready for me when I wake up.

Muscle Man: You eat stale toast?

Benson: Yes. And I don't like it, not one bit. But I know that it'll all be worth it the moment that Mr. Maellard honors me with that gold watch.

Hi Five Ghost: You must want that watch pretty bad, huh?

Benson: Oh, you have no idea how long I've wanted that thing! But tonight, I can finally stand before you guys and say: "I did it!"

(They all cheer)

Muscle Man: Hey, man, I don't mean to be a Debbie H. Downer here, but don't you think it's a little bit early to be celebrating? I mean, you still have to make it on time tomorrow.

Benson: Oh, come on, Muscle Man. What could possibly go wrong between now and then?

(Mordecai and Rigby show up with two guys)

Mordecai: Hey, Benson. You're not gonna believe this—these guys are celebrating 1,000 of something, too!

Tango: 1,000 test missions.

Benson: You guys are test pilots?

Stache: We sure are.

Tango: Hey, I'm Tango and this is Stache.

Benson: Wait, you're not Stache?

Tango: No, I'm Tango. (Gestures to the other man) He's Stache.

Stache: Why don't you join us for some wings, and we'll celebrate our 1000s together?

Benson: More wings? Benson likey, and I'm Benson!

Skips: I'm not sure more wings is a good idea, Benson. You don't wanna eat yourself into a food coma again.

Pops: Yes. Perhaps you've done enough winging for one night.

Benson: Look, I can handle it, guys. It's just one round.

Skips: It's just, uh... well, sometimes people do things they regret on a bellyful of wings.

Pops: That's all we're saying.

Benson: Don't worry, guys. I got it under control.

(Cut to black. An alarm sound is heard, then it fades to the next day in a desert as Benson wakes up and checks his watch. The time is shown to be six a.m.)

Benson: Ow... my head.

(He's seen stranded in the desert with a military jumpsuit strapped to an ejector's seat with a parachute behind it) 

Benson (continued): What happened to me?

Benson: (Voice-over) What could possibly go wrong between now and then?

Mordecai: (Voice-over) Hey, Benson. You're not gonna believe this—these guys are celebrating 1,000 of something, too!

Benson (continued): URRRRGH, MORDECAI AND RIGBY!!!!

(A clock transition to Benson's feet as he runs through the desert, then cut to Benson running through the desert) 

Benson (continued): Where am I?

(Checks his watch)

Benson (continued): Augh! I only have three hours to get back. How am I ever...

(He sees a road with a telephone booth on the other side of the desert) 

Benson (continued): Wait, a road. I'm saved!

(He runs up to the phone booth, puts his quarter in, and dials a number)

Benson (continued): Come on, come on, pick up.

Pops: (On the phone) Hello?

Benson: Pops, it's Benson.

Pops: Oh, Benson; are you okay?

Benson: I'm fine, Pops. Listen, could you put Mordecai and Rigby on so I can scream at them for ruining my life?

Pops: They're not with you? Oh, dear, they didn't come home last night. We're all worried sick!

Benson: What the heck happened last night?

Pops: I'm afraid I don't know.

Benson: (Sighs) Well, whatever it was left me stranded out in the desert. Could you come pick me up?

Pops: Oh, of course. Where in the desert are you exactly?

Benson: Uh, hold on, let me see. (He looks around the desert) Great.

(He sees a police car coming)

Benson (continued): Oh, a car.

(A sheriff is seen driving the police car) 

Benson (continued): Hey! Hey, stop!

(The sheriff stops driving and exits his car. The camera then proceeds to pan up to his face. The sheriff sniffs.) 

Benson (continued): Can you tell me what road this is?

Sheriff: Sure. How about right after you tell me if this hurts or not?

(He punches Benson, proceeds to arrest him, and drives away)

Pops: (On the phone) Benson? Hello?

(Cut to the sheriff's office next to a prison cell, which has Mordecai, Rigby, Tango, and Stache in it.)

Benson: What on earth are you arresting me for?

Mordecai: Benson, you're alright!

Benson: You!

Sheriff: (Puts Benson behind the prison bars) Ha! Knock yourselves out.

(The sheriff closes the door as Benson grabs Mordecai by the neck)

Benson: What did you do to me?!

Mordecai: (Choking) Do you not.... remember anything?

Benson: No!

Mordecai: Get off of me and I'll tell you!

(Benson lets go of him as he takes a deep breath) 

Mordecai (continued): Here's what happened.

(A flashback begins of the night before at Wing Kingdom) 

Mordecai (continued): The wings just kept coming.

(The guys repeatedly shout "Benson!" as Benson pours a cup of wings into his mouth)

Guys: Whooooooo!!!!

(Fade)

Stache: Both of our engines were on fire, but somehow we managed to crash-land right in the middle of a hot-tub party.

Benson: I wish I was cool like you guys. Instead, I'm being honored tomorrow for 'playing it safe.'

Rigby: Ouch.

Stache: Yeah, that's rough.

Tango: If you want to be honored tomorrow with some Grade-A-Guts, you should drive up to the ceremony in th Mach Infinity.

Stache: Yeah, it's the supersonic car we just test-drove.

Benson: Seriously?

Mordecai: I didn't know that car actually existed!

Rigby: Nothing can drive that fast.

(Benson chuckles deeply)

Stache: You'd be taking a big risk, but in a cool way.

Rigby: I don't know, Benson.

Mordecai: You might be risking more than just that gold watch.

Benson: (Pounds on the table) It's worth it!

(Cut to the guys outside. Benson is patiently awaiting their instructions in the Mach Infinity.)

Stache: Just make sure your lift-to-drag ratio stays level. You don't wanna go into a high-G maneuvor.

Rigby: Whooooo! High-G maneuvor!

Benson: Alright, here goes. (Sets car to Drive)

(Benson starts speeding straight ahead and screams as he goes over the limit)

Benson: Stop! Stop! Stop!

(Fearing for his life, he yanks a cord and ejects out of the seat, landing out far in the desert. He passes out as the seat comes to a halt. A parachute pops out.)

(Flashback ends)

Benson: That's crazy.

Tango: Yeah. You landed about a mile away, but the car kept going and ended up on the road.

Mordecai: Yeah, when we went to go find you, the cop arrested us for speeding.

Stache: We even showed him our government clearance card which allows us to speed. But he just ripped it up.

Rigby: He was like, "nyah, nyah"....

(Makes tearing motions with his hands)

Benson: I'll go try and talk to this guy.

(Walks up)

Benson (continued): Uh, hi sir? I kind of have to be somewhere by nine and...

Sheriff: Well, we wouldn't want you to be late, now would we?

Benson: No we wouldn't, sir.

Sheriff: Well, son, the soonest I can open that door for you is, uh... 9:01 A.M.

(Benson bangs his head on the prison bars)

Mordecai: You didn't even look at anything! You just made that time up to be a jerk!

Sheriff: (Points) You open your mouth again, pretty boy, and you're getting the hose!

Pops: (Offscreen) That won't be necessary!

All: Pops!

Benson: How did you find us?

Pops: Oh, it was quite simple.

(A flashback begins to earlier where the sheriff arrests Benson, and a chicken vulture is on top of the police car.)

Pops (continued): While you we're being arrested, I happened to hear the distinct mating call of a chubby-necked chicken in the background.

(Cut to Pops using the computer to look for information about the chubby-necked chicken vulture)

Pops (continued): I tried to use your computing device to look up its habitat on the internet.

(It shows a man with orange hair, big muscles and doesn't have a shirt on, then Pops covered his eyes, and ran away)

Pops (continued): But, I got scared.

(Cut to Thomas looking for information about the chubby-necked chicken vulture, while Pops is standing up, looking scared)

Pops (continued): So, I called Thomas over, and he found it without any trouble at all.

(Flashback ends)

Benson: Wow, Pops, that's amazing.

Pops: Now, Officer, allow me to pay you whatever finds they re-crude, and we'll be on our merry way.

Sheriff: Are you trying to bribe me, sir?

Pops: Bribe?

(The sheriff throws Pops in behind the prison bars)

All: Pops!

Mordecai: You can't arrest him for no reason!

Rigby: Yeah, you think you're above the law?!

Sheriff: On this quarter mile stretcher highway, I am the law!

(The sheriff picks up a hose and sprays on them, and then closes the prison door)

Sheriff (continued): Y'all sit tight while I find the bigger hose.

(The sheriff leaves to get the bigger hose)

Benson: (Sighs) Well, you ruined my life again.

Rigby: What?! We have nothing to do with this!

Benson: I woke up in a military jumpsuit, strapped to an ejector's seat. Of course you have something to do with this!

Stache: Woah, Benson.

Tango: Nobody put those wings inside you but you.

Stache: Just because we party like handsome maniacs doesn't mean you didn't have a choice.

Benson: (sighs) You're right. I decided to take risks and this is the price I pay. We've tried everything but this cop won't listen to reason.

Tango: Maybe you can't reason your way out of this one.

Stache: Maybe the solution is...

Benson: ...another risk. Ok, I got an idea.

(The cop  comes in with the bigger hose, whistling. He sees only Pops, who is groaning on the ground, and drops the hose.)

Sheriff: What in tarnation happened here?!

(Pops slowly gets up.)

Pops: Oh, it was terrible!

(We see the others hiding and clinging onto Pops head.)

Pops (continued): They ganged up on me and beat me up before they escaped!

Sheriff: Escaped?! (unlocks the cell) Nobody escapes from my-

Pops: Now!

(Everyone appears.)

Sheriff: What?!

(Benson and the guys tackle the sheriff. They are seen running out through the door.)

Mordecai: I can't believe that worked!

Rigby: Yeah. I figured Pops' head would only hide two of three of us tops.

Mordecai: How much time until the ceremony?

(Benson checks his watch.)

Benson: Less than an hour.

Pops: (pointing) We can take Carmenita.

Benson: She's too slow!

(Tango clears his throat and shows Benson the keys to the Mach Infinity.)

Stache: It's your only chance, Benson.

Tango: How bad do you want that watch?

(Benson puts his hand out.)

Benson: More than anything.

(The others go into Carmenita.)

Tango: Perfect! Let's go!

(Tango throws the keys to Benson. Carmenita takes off.)

Rigby: See you at the ceremony!

(Benson looks over to the Mach Infinity. Cut back to the sheriff in the cell, getting up)

Sheriff: What?!

(He moves to the seat, slamming it, and reveals a compartment with guns, nunchucks, a grenade and other items. He takes the big gun and shoots the cell door open. Meanwhile Benson is trying to start the Infinity. He holds down on a button.)

Benson: Come on, come on.....yes!

(The sheriff runs up to him.)

Sheriff: Get out of the car!

(As Benson, drives away, the rudder slices off the sheriff's mustache in slow-motion, then the sheriff is knocked down to the ground. Benson escapes through the gate in the Infinity through the desert)

Sheriff: It took me thirty years to grow this thing!

(He gets up and starts running. On the road, he is in the police car, shooting his gun out. He tries to hit the Infinity.)

Benson: What the-?!

(He thrusts the Infinity forward. It speeds up, heading for 700 kph.)

Sheriff: Where're you goin', boy?!

(He oushes a button, and his car's engine pwers up some more. While the Infinity is still speeding up, the police car's engine starts catching on fire. The front opens up.)

Sheriff (continued): Noooooooo!

(He and the car get obliterated. Benson continues to speed in the Infinity as the scene changes to rainy weather. A wing floats in front of Benson. The Infinity finally stops in the Park. The time on Benson's watch is 8:59.)

Benson: Yes! I made it.

(Benson walks up to the park groundskeepers, Tango, Stache and Mr. Maellard, who are wearing suit and holding umbrellas. Standing with them are some men.)

Benson (continued): Hey, how did you guys get here before me?

(The park members gasp.)

Pops: It's a miracle!

Benson: Well, I don't know about miracle, but...

Mordecai: Dude, where have you been for the last 3 months?

Benson: What?

Tango: What probably happened is that you went so fast, that you actually travelled three months into the future.

Rigby: We all thought you were dead, man!

Benson: Then if this isn't my gold watch ceremony, it's my...

(We are shown a gravestone that says 'Benson "You're Fired"'.)

Skips: Memorial serivce.

Benson: And who are all of these guys?

Skips: They're applicants for the park manger position. They're waiting until after the service to be interviewed.

(Benson goes up to his boss.)

Benson: Mr. Maellard, about the gold watch...

Mr. Maellard: Uh, I'm gonna have to say no. I've always been a stickler for the rules.

Rigby: Hey, man. At least you're not dead.

Benson: No!

(He runs back to the Infinity.)

Benson (continued): Without that watch, I am dead.

(He turns on the Infinity, and puts it in reverse before looking behind. Tango and Stache run after him.)

Tango and Stache: Benson, stop!

Stache: The Infinity's reverse gear could tear a hole in space time!

Benson: I have to take that chance!

(With that, the Infinity zips off.)

Stache: Now, there goes a man who takes risks.

(The Infinity is reversing down the road.)

Benson: Come on!

(A screw loosens out, and the glass begins to crack. As it zips out on the ocean, Benson's face appears distorted in slow motion. The Infinity begins to enter space time.)

Benson (continued): (whispering) I...I never knew.

(Benson screams as the Infinity reverses around the Earth. He looks at his watch as its reversing in time.)

Benson (continued): It's..... working!

(He accidently dismantles the stick shift, and there is a bright spark. Parts of the Infinity begin to break off, and Benson pulls the parachute and screams as he exits space time and stops in front of the ceremony.)

Muscle Man: Told you he'd make it.

(The boss walks up to Benson with a small red box.)

Mr. Maellard: 9:00 A.M. on the dot! You did it, my boy.

(He reveals the gold watch, shining brightly.)

Benson: (sighs) It's beautiful.

Muscle Man: I brought us some wings to help us celebrate.

Benson: (chuckles) Sorry, Muscle Man, not this time.

Mr. Maellard: Come on, it's only one wing.

Benson: Well....

(Cut to black. We fade to Benson.)

Benson (continued): Oh, my head. Where...

(We zoom out to see him out in the middle of the ocean.)

Benson (continued): Ah, come on!

(End of Gold Watch)