Unauthorized Mission

Nice work, guys. That mission was a total success. Maybe for you. Nothing caught on fire or blew up. To me: colossal failure. Well, good news, you've got heat vision and a whole afternoon ahead of you. Go make something happen. Hey, Adam, check it out. While you were gone I got to boogie board with the dolphins. Bob, those weren't dolphins. These are clearly the bites of an angry catfish. Wow, is there anything you don't know? I don't think we should let those two play together anymore. Uh-uh. Hey, Chase, on the next mission do you think I might actually be able to do something? You did get to do something. You watched me be an amazing mission leader. Most people would pay to see that. And then demand a refund. I'm just saying the whole purpose for me going on the mission was to get some hands-on training. And you did. You handed me my flashlight and my lip balm. Thank you. But I'm the best student here. I've been acing all of my training exercises. Without practice how am I ever gonna be mission leader? Oh, that's just it, you won't. 'Cause I'm mission leader. Yeah, dude, you can't be mission leader, too, because then I would have to make fun of both of you, and there just aren't enough hours in the day. I need some me time. Hey, Chase, stop being such a control freak, okay? Sebastian seems perfectly capable. Oh, thanks. My pleasure. Oh. Okay, our next mission is stopping that. Bob: Hey, look! I'm riding an angry catfish! Whoa, look at him go! Yeah, that is not a catfish. Bob! Announcer: The world's first bionic superhumans, they're stronger than us, faster, smarter, the next generation of the human race is Living in my basement? Ah! Hey! I just heard Leo got to go on a mission. Why'd he get picked and not me? Well, Spin, Leo and Sebastian both excelled in their training this week. Plus, Mr. Davenport considered many other factors, like experience, bionic ability, social dynamics Too short, too young. Bye-bye. Mr. Davenport, do you think I'm too young to go on missions? Yes. And too short. I thought Leo just covered this. But Leo always brags about how you sent him on a mission when he was young to stop a runaway train. Uh, yeah, technically he wasn't "sent," he snuck on the train. But I was there. And I was awesome. Look, just focus on your training and eventually your time will come. This isn't fair. I'm never gonna get to go on a mission. See how I handled that, Leo? These kids are so lucky to have me. Too old, too vain. Bye-bye. Look, I got to admit, Mr. Davenport, you did a really good job designing this place. This academy is my greatest achievement. Of all the things I've built this is the thing I'm most proud of. Morning, Don. Morning, girl. The island is contaminated. Get everyone to the life boats. We can blow it up. I wasn't that attached to it anyways. How did you get on our hydraloop? I dated your security guard for 3 weeks to gain his trust. When that didn't work, I knocked him out and stole his keys. How much ocean do we have to put between us to get away from you? Ain't enough water in the world. My webbed toes double as flippers. When I spread them out, they look like baby pterodactyls. Why are you here? I retired. The school just wasn't the same without my favorite freaks to torment. I tried, but I couldn't hate the new kids as much as I hate you guys. Anyhoo, a little birdie told me your robot school is looking for an administrator. Yeah, we're not. But tell you what, leave your resume and we'll call you if we lose our minds. Oh, how about a gardener? No. Short order cook? No. Unlicensed psychotherapist? No! Look, I'm bored and I want to get back in the game. Just tell me what you need. I could be your barber. Nobody likes a pretty girl with long hair. Okay. The only thing we need is a security guard to keep people like you out. Yes, I could be your head of security. I've been a warden, a guard, any position in prison, I've held it, including inmate. Sorry, cell block Sally, we're not hiring. But you need me! (Ripping) Her shirt got stuck. Yeah, that's the mainland's problem now. Okay, using the technique I just taught you, attack me. Whoo-hoo! Not all at once. Just everybody take five. Okay? Let's just take five. Thank you. Thank you. You take ten. This is ridiculous. There are too many kids here for me to train them all at the same time. (Sighs) And I don't want a single student to be denied the Donald Davenport experience. You mean the Bionic Academy experience. No, you mean the Bionic Academy experience. Hey, maybe I can design a new virtual training simulator. And each group can take turns using it. Or even better, I can design one that will allow every student to train at the same time. Whoa, whoa, whoa. If anyone's gonna design this thing it's gonna be me. Control freak. How about this, you guys design it together. After all, two minds are better than one. Unless of course it's this mind. And then after that, maybe you can build something that'll shrink his ego. Bree, there's no machine in the world that could do that. But if anybody could build it, it'd be me. Oh. Hey, Bob, what are you doing? Drawing a self portrait. It's just a butt. I got to start somewhere. (Beeping) Whoa! A mission alert. A dam broke and a group of hikers got caught in a flash flood. I'll go get Mr. Davenport. No, wait. What? What are you doing? Why would you delete a mission alert? Because we are going on that mission. No way. Uh-uh. I'm not getting in trouble. Again. Bob, we're the youngest guys here. Until we prove ourselves, nobody is gonna take us seriously. Well, look at us. Can you blame them? Okay. Fine, we won't go. Good. So you want to go get something to eat? I know this great restaurant by a broken dam. I don't know. They'll let you draw butts on the placemats. Let's do this. All right, a few more tweaks and we should be done. I have to admit, this is working out way better than I thought. I know, I figured you were going to ignore me and do all the work yourself. And I thought you were gonna be totally incompetent. Adam: Incoming! Get up! (Charlie groaning) Adam, what are you doing? Seeing if Charlie here has the ability to fly. So far the answer is no. Get out. Can you do that somewhere else? We're working here. Fine. Okay, where were we? (Charlie groans) Adam, I thought I told you to go do that somewhere else. Yeah, you know I thought about that and then I just decided to ignore you. Come on, Sebastian, let's move our stuff before one of those idiots ruins it. (Adam groans) (Clattering) Hey! Adam! Look what you did! Hey, don't blame me, blame Charlie. He can't fly but he sure can throw. Can you believe him? He just destroyed all of our hard work. Don't worry, Chase, we can fix this. And when we're done, we're gonna need someone to test it on. And I think it's time we give Adam a taste of his own medicine. Where have you been all my life? Okay, let's test our new video conferencing system. I'll try and call you. You rang? Turn it off! Turn it off! How did you break into my secure line? Better question is, how did I get in your equipment room to steal this. Give me that. Or into your bedroom to steal this. That is island wear. Mm-hmm. Still think you don't need a head of security? No. A couple more tweaks and I'll have this place locked down tight. And then we will never see you again. Bree, any parting words? Yes. Get out. Mm-hmm. But you need me. No, we don't. Wait, wait, wait. (Ripping) Really? She needs to start wearing tighter clothes. No, she doesn't. No, she doesn't. I can't believe those rescue workers got to the hikers before we did. I can't believe we can't find that restaurant. I can't believe you still believe we're looking for it. Argh! This is so frustrating. If I don't complete a mission, I'll never prove myself. (Squishing) Uh, Spin, I think we have bigger problems. Oh, no, that's quicksand. Yep, that's exactly what I thought when I was sinking into it. I can't get out. I'm sinking. Try using your levitation ability. Good idea. (Grunting) Okay, stop. Even if it works I don't want to hear that anymore. Maybe you should just call for help. No. I can rescue you myself. Close your eyes, I'm gonna try to spin you out. Uh-oh. Relax, once you get used to it, it's a good squishy. Okay, I'll call Leo. Cool, tell him I said hi. (Phone beeps) Mission veteran Dooley speaking. Leo, it's Spin. It's a long story, but Bob and I left the island and we need your help. What a surprise. You need my help? Just hurry! Fine, I'll track your GPS location and be right there. What? You didn't tell him I said hi. Hey, Adam, how would you like to be the first to test out our brand new bionic training simulator? Oh, hold on. You want me to be your human guinea pig? Well, I wouldn't say I'm in. Here, put these on. They'll sync with your bionic chip to give you the ultimate sensory experience. Anything that happens in the virtual world will feel totally real. What's the vest for? That part's a surprise. Whoa! It looks like I'm in a jungle. And what do you feel? Oh, feel like I'm in the jungle with you talking to me. (Monkey screeches) Aw, look. It's a cute little monkey. Aw, and he's holding a cute little bazooka. Wait, why is he holding a bazooka? Whoa whoa! He shot at me. Argh! That's it. I'm gonna use my heat vision. That doesn't work in a virtual world. (Monkey screeches) Oh, no, the monkey called for back-up. Now there's a ton of a (Biffing) (Groans) They got me. Oh, man, that didn't feel virtual at all. Wait until you feel this. (Biffing) (Grunts) Wait, does this thing have any weapons I can use? Of course. Oh, good. But unfortunately those are sold separately. What? (Grunts) Okay, I reset the security settings. So the island is finally on lockdown? Mm-hmm. Nobody in, nobody out? Yep, and I control it all with this one remote. Perry: Yoo-hoo! Looking for this? (Both grunting) What's taking Leo so long? Maybe he got stuck in quicksand, too. Well, well, well. Leo! What do we do? Well, first things first. I'm sorry, but this is hilarious. Take another one, my eyes were closed. What are you even doing here? Well, we got a mission alert about Wait, mission alert? You two went on a mission alone? Why would you do that? Well, I was promised a fine dining experience. I just wanted to prove I was ready to go on missions. The same way you did. The only difference is, I was awesome and you're stuck in mud. Look, I get it. But just like Big D said, focus on your training. Trust me, you'll get there. Thanks, Leo. Aw, this would be such a nice moment if I could feel my legs. Uh, what are you gonna do with that? I think he's gonna put us out of our misery. No. No. No. I'm gonna use this as a lever to push you out from below. Here goes. (Grunting) It's working. Leo, you saved us. Oh! That was awesome. Oh, no, I lost my cell phone in there. Don't worry, I'll get it. Wait, Bob, no! Bob, no! (Squishing) Can we just leave him here? I'm thinking about it. (Biffing) I have to find cover. I'm heading for that mountain. Oh, good idea, except it's not a mountain. It's a volcano. Hot lava. Hot lava. It burns. It burns. Wow, that was awesome. We work pretty well together. Yeah, we do. You might even say we're becoming friends. Yeah, which is pretty weird considering the two of us tried to kill each other. You know, I still haven't gotten that whole story. What actually happened? Well, I'm probably not supposed to say anything, but the guy who created you was pure evil. His name was Victor Krane. He controlled your minds and he made you his bionic soldiers. Why would he do that if he was our father? It was all part of his twisted plan to build a superior bionic race. The only way to stop him was to take him out. So we did what we had to do. Wow. Yeah. But at least you're safe now. Yeah. I guess I'm just lucky Mr. Davenport was nice enough to take us in. Whoa! They're still after me! I can't take it anymore! Shut it off! Shut it off! Oh. Oh, that wall felt so real. Where were you guys? On a mission. What? Don't worry. We didn't help anyone. Leo, how could you take them on a mission? No, he didn't take us, he saved us. It was all my fault. If it wasn't for Leo, we wouldn't be standing here right now. Is that true? Well, I don't want to brag, but, yes, I was there. And I was awesome. You two head over to the capsule dorms to get cleaned up. We'll discuss this later. Wow, Leo, it sounds like you really stepped up and acted like a true bionic hero. I think it's time we bump you up a color. Really? Bob, I thought I told you to go back to the dorms. You might have told Bob but you didn't tell me. Ahh! Who let that in here? Stay away, evil woman! Where did you get that cyber cloak? From your equipment room, which, by the way, is still not secure. You know, if I was your head of security, I could have stopped those two runts from sneaking out. And no one would have to know that you wear these. Give me those. You're not gonna stop this until I give you this job, are you? Nope, and I've got nothing but time. The average lifespan of a Perry is 112 years. And I'm one of the healthy ones. Ah-ahem. Okay, fine. You win. You're hired. Whoo, ka-ta-ta-ta-ta! Ka-to! Leo, where are you going? To bury myself in quicksand. Ladies and gentlemen, Chase Davenport and Sebastian last name to be determined, proudly present to you the future of bionic education: the Bionic Training Simulator. Now to demonstrate, we'll need a volunteer. How about Mr. Davenport? I mean, he is the reason we're all here. What, me be the center of attention? I couldn't. Go ahead and power up the mainframe. Alrighty. Mr. Davenport! That's nothing. Wait till he meets the monkeys. (Groans) Big D, are you all right? I think so. I don't get it. Our design was flawless. No, come on, let's get him to the medic. Good idea, go. You took away my father I'm gonna take away yours.