Mr. Big Words

(Scene: An aerial view of Mr. Big’s office building.)

Narrator: Just another typical day in our fair city. That’s funny-- I don’t remember seeing that ominous-looking radio tower before!

(There is a tower on top of the building. A helicopter appears, with Mr. Big sitting in the passenger seat.)

Mr. Big: Well, that’s because it wasn’t there before!

Narrator: Oh… Mr. Big.

Mr. Big: Soon, the city will be under my control! With a little help from-- WordGirl! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! (clears throat) Leslie?

Leslie: Yes sir?

Mr. Big: One of these on the side of every building in town!

Leslie: Yes, sir.

(Mr. Big’s assistant Leslie is wearing a parachute, and jumps out of the plane holding a bag full of strange devices.)

Mr. Big: It’s time to start phase one!

(He presses the button on a remote, and the tower begins to emit one of Mr. Big’s typical mind control signals throughout the city.)

(Scene: The grocery store.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, in the grocery store…

(Becky and Bob are shopping. Bob points to the frozen food section and chatters.)

Becky: Relax, no grocery store would be complete without banana bon-bons!

(The grocery store manager is pricing apples, and a customer walks up to him. As he starts to speak, the mind control signal penetrates the store, and Leslie walks up behind them with a large microphone.)

Green-jacketed man: Excuse me, I’m looking for a tube of -- (pauses as he succumbs to mind control)

Grocery Store Manager: I’m sorry, what were you looking for?

Green-jacketed man: I seek a cylindrical container full of mouth cleaner!

Grocery Store Manager: Cylindri-who? Why, if it’s cleaner you want, we’ve got tile cleaner, spot cleaner, chrome cleaner, why we’ve even got cleaner cleaner!

Green-jacketed man: Negative! I require a cylndrical container filled with mouth cleaner!

Grocery Store Manager: Ohh, containers! Well, we’ve got--

(Having overheard the conversation, WordGirl appears between them.)

WordGirl: Uh, excuse me, maybe I can help  clarify . A cylindrical container is a tube, and mouth cleaner, that probably means toothpaste! So what your customer is looking for is a tube of toothpaste!

Grocery Store Manager: A tube of toothpaste! Well, why didn’t you just say so?

Green-jacketed man: I-- thought I just did.

(The grocery store manager returns with a tube of toothpaste and hands it to him.)

Grocery Store Manager: There you go!

Green-jacketed man: Oh, thanks! (walks away)

Grocery Store Manager: Say, if it’s cylindrical tubes you’re looking for, how about some cheese? Or pudding? Or car wax? Or--

(In the background, Bob is having fun pushing the cart around. Off screen, he crashes into something with a loud thud.)

(Scene: a little later, Becky and Bob are walking home from the supermarket. Huggy chatters something.)

Becky: Yeah, a cylindrical container of mouth cleaner IS an odd way to ask for a tube of toothpaste. (chuckles) It’s nice when my vocabulary skills come in handy!

(Huggy chatters at her.)

Becky: Yeah, I guess I hear a hum… well, it doesn’t automatically mean something’s going on. Sometimes a hum is just a hum.

(There is a traffic jam at the intersection. Leslie can be seen carrying a microphone down the sidewalk. In the middle of the intersection, a police officer is trying to direct traffic.)

Officer:  Proceed  with your automobile!

Oak Street lady: What? I have no idea what you want me to do!

(The man in the car behind her is honking his horn.)

Becky: Uh-oh! Communication breakdown. This looks like a job for WordGirl! (grabs Huggy) Word UP!

Officer: One last time!  Proceed  or you will be apprehended!

Oak Street lady: But how can I  proceed  when I don’t know what  proceed  means?!

(WordGirl and Huggy arrive.)

WordGirl:  Proceed  means to go forward, or continue doing something.

Oak Street lady: So I should just go?

WordGirl: Yep. Continue driving.  Proceed .

Oak Street lady: WordGirl, you are a genius!

WordGirl: Oh! Well… I don’t know about that. Just  clarify ing another misunderstanding! (Gives her a high five, then the woman drives off.)

(WordGirl hears another distant conversation.)

WordGirl: That’s odd… sounds like another heated quarrel on the other side of the town.

(Huggy chatters at her.)

WordGirl: Yes, I hear the hum too, but-- uh-oh, the quarrel’s getting out of control. Let’s go! Word UP!

(Scene: across town, a dump truck driver has dumped a pile of dirt into a swimming pool, and is arguing with his supervisor.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, at the public swimming pool…

Supervisor: No, no, no. I instructed you to deposit the soil into the chasm across the pool!

Driver: Huh? All I heard was pool.

(WordGirl and Huggy arrive.)

Supervisor: WordGirl! Thank goodness!

Driver: Yes, we got us a word-based misunderstanding here!

(Leslie is seen standing in the truck bed, holding a microphone over them)

WordGirl: I’ll do my best to  clarify  the situation.

Driver: Wha?

WordGirl:  Clarify ! You know, clear things up? To help someone understand something.

Driver: Oh! Now it’s clear.

WordGirl: Your boss wanted you to dump the dirt into the chasm across the street from the pool. A chasm is a really big hole.

Driver: Oh, there it is! Thanks, WordGirl. You’re really smart!

WordGirl: (blushing) We-ell! Let’s just say I know a thing or two about vocabulary.

(She hears other distant conversations, such as “I can’t understand you!” and “Help, WordGirl!”)

WordGirl: Whoops! That’s my cue. Come on, Huggy!

(Huggy is sitting on the dirt mound with some kids, building a sand castle. Suddenly a large kid comes by and yells out “Hey, dirt pool!” and jumps toward his castle. WordGirl swoops him up.)

(Scene: the exterior of Mr. Big’s building.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, at an evil villain’s penthouse apartment…

(Scene shifts to the inside, where Mr. Big is looking out onto the city.)

Mr. Big: Yeee-ess! People are using big words all over the city, confusion and chaos, and WordGirl swooping around defining words and saving the day! Phase one is a success! Now onto phase two. Leslie?

Leslie: Yes? (She wheels in a large device.)

Mr. Big: Have you finished placing all of the word suckers?

Leslie: You mean the microphones?

Mr. Big: Y-- No-- well, those big things that suck all the words out of the air, you know… word suckers.

Leslie: Then yes.

(Mr. Big reaches down to the device and presses a red button. Through a speaker he hears WordGirl defining words.)

Mr. Big: It works! A-ha! A-ha-ha-ha! (He collapses on the floor.)

(Meanwhile, the device continues to broadcast. This is followed by several different scenes in which WordGirl is defining words to needy citizens.)

WordGirl: Trousers is another word for pants! He wants to buy a pair of pants!

(She zips off to another location, where Tessa and Kirillee are having a word problem related to a dog.)

WordGirl: Canine is another word for dog. She wants to know if she can pet your dog.

(Kirillee nods yes, and Tessa pets the dog. A crowd that has gathered starts cheering. And interestingly, WordGirl and the others continue to ignore the microphones that appear. TJ walks out from the back.)

TJ: WordGirl, I believe I speak for this entire collective assemblage when I say, kudos to you!

WordGirl: (glancing down at Huggy) Gotta go! (takes off)

TJ: Ahh, WordGirl, fair thee well!

(High above them, WordGirl contemplates the situation.)

WordGirl: TJ has a huge vocabulary?! This is getting weird!

(Scene: Mr. Big’s penthouse. He watches WordGirl fly frantically around the city.)

Mr. Big: Hoo! Back and forth, like a little red ping-pong ball! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Leslie is recording info from the large playback device.)

Device: “Canine is another word for dog!”

Mr. Big: Phase two is a success! The city is in chaos, and the only thing that will save it will be my new product! Something brand new… something that no one has ever seen before!

(Scene: A building rooftop. WordGirl and Huggy land.)

WordGirl: I’m exhausted!

(Huggy chatters.)

WordGirl: Okay, I admit it, I’m having fun. I’ve never felt so needed, in such a specific word-centric kind of way!

(As she speaks, Huggy sees a microphone being lowered in front of her. He points at it, and she turns and bumps her head into it.)

WordGirl: What?-- Whoa! What is that thing? (reading a label on the microphone) “The Word Sucker. Another fine product from… (gasps) Mr. Big Incorporated?! Come on, Huggy! It’s time we paid Mr. Big a little visit! (takes off)

(Scene: A loading dock at Mr. Big’s building. Leslie is carrying large boxes toward the truck.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, down at the loading dock…

Mr. Big: Be careful with those, Leslie!

Leslie: (grunting) Yes, sir!

Mr. Big: Those crates contain my latest and greatest invention. Don’t you want to know what it is?

Leslie: I already know, sir.

Mr. Big: Right, right.

(WordGirl and Huggy arrive.)

Mr. Big: WordGirl!

WordGirl: Lose something, big guy? (throws the microphone at him)

Mr. Big: My word sucker! That’s private property, you know!

WordGirl: Were you recording all those definitions I gave to people?

Mr. Big: Maybe.

WordGirl: But why? What are you up to?

Mr. Big: Nothing… ooh, alright, I can’t hold it in any longer, I’ve been sabotaging the city with my big word mind control ray, then recording all of your definitions!

WordGirl: Why?

Mr. Big: So I could create these! (points to the box under his foot)

WordGirl: Big boxes?

Mr. Big: No, what’s inside these big boxes.

WordGirl: What’s inside those big boxes?

Mr. Big: Well I can’t tell you that-- yet. That’s for phase three. But I think you’ll like them!

WordGirl: I wouldn’t bet on it! I’m taking you down, Big!

Mr. Big: Oh, come now! You’ve enjoyed every minute of this! Everyone confused by big words, begging you for help… the attention, the appreciation, the applause?

WordGirl: NO! (She clenches her fists and stands firm, then Huggy chatters at her and she relaxes her stance.) Maybe just a little.

Mr. Big: Ha-ha! I knew it! Admit it, WordGirl-- bigger is always better!

WordGirl: No it’s not! It’s more important to use the right word than the biggest word!

Mr. Big: (mimicking her with his hand) Oh-kay!

WordGirl: Come on, Huggy! Let’s take him!

(She and Huggy prepare to swoop in on him from above, but as they approach he pulls out a remote.)

Mr. Big: Na-ah, not so fast! (He presses the button on the remote, sending out another mind control signal across the city.) I just cranked up my big word machine to eleven! Now the city is really going berserk! Everyone is using big words, and nobody can understand anyone else!

(WordGirl hears hundreds of different word arguments going on simultaneously.)

Mr. Big: Well, WordGirl, looks like you can stick around here and see what phase three is, or save the city by doing what you do best. What’s it going to be?

WordGirl: Oh-- (struggling to decide) --Word up! (takes off)

Mr. Big: I thought so! Mwah-ha, mwah-ha-ha, mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(WordGirl flies with Huggy above the city.)

WordGirl: Oh my gosh! We’ve got so much to  clarify ! (flies over to a concert) To the concert!-- no-- (flies over to the mall) To the mall-- no-- (flies over to the freeway) To the freeway--

(Huggy chatters at her.)

WordGirl: Yes, I still hear the hum! You think that’s from Mr. Big’s big word ray? I don’t know, I mean, that hum could be coming from anywhere…

Narrator: Actually, it’s coming from a giant radio tower sitting right on top of Mr. Big’s building.

(Huggy nods.)

WordGirl: Fine. You told me so.

(She flies up to the radio tower.)

WordGirl: Seems kind of obvious now! Oh well…

(She lands on the roof of the building.)

WordGirl: One big word mind control radio tower going down!

Mr. Big: Not so fast, WordGirl!

(He and Leslie arrive on the roof from an elevator. Next to him is a huge vacuum cleaner. He presses the button on a remote, and the vacuum aims itself at them and sucks them in. They end up being trapped against the brushes of the vacuum.)

Mr. Big: Ha ha, gotcha!

WordGirl: Hey! What is this thing?

Mr. Big: It’s my hero sucker!

WordGirl: Let us go, Mr. Big!

Mr. Big: No! Not until I tell you the end of my brilliant plan! I’ve waited all episode.

WordGirl: Fine. What is your big, big plan? I can’t wait to hear it!

Mr. Big: Okay. To recap-- Phase One: Use mind control to make people say big words. Phase Two: Suck all the big words, with the definitions that you so helpfully provided, out of the air. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

WordGirl: Oh! Sneaky!

(Leslie tosses a book to him.)

Mr. Big: And now, Phase Three: I wrote down all those big words and their meanings and made them into a book! Now the only thing that will save the city from falling into a big mess of big word confusion will be THIS-- Mr. Big’s Big Book of Big Words! I’ll make millions! Wa-ha-ha-ha!

(WordGirl is laughing along with him.)

WordGirl: Ha-ha-ha! (snickers)

Mr. Big: Wait! Why are you laughing? I’M triumphant! I’M the only one who should be laughing!

WordGirl: So, you made a dictionary, did ya?

Mr. Big: I made what now?

WordGirl: A dictionary! You know, a big book of words and their definitions? (pause) You’ve never heard of a dictionary?

Mr. Big: Well-- no, I-- I took a lot of business classes in school, it never came up… Leslie! Did you know about this?

Leslie: Of course, sir.

Mr. Big: Why didn’t you say something?

Leslie: I thought you just really wanted to write a dictionary.

WordGirl: Hey! You mind if I destroy this radio tower now?

Mr. Big: (throwing the book down) No, I don’t care. Do what you want.

(WordGirl and Huggy break free of the vacuum cleaner, then she picks up the vacuum and swings it at the radio tower, knocking it over. Down on the street, everyone is released from the mind control and stop their arguing.)

Supervisor: (to dump truck driver) Hey, want a piece of gum?

Driver: Oh I’d love one, thanks!

Supervisor: Right on!

(Back on the roof)

Mr. Big: A whole big plan down the tubes! I tell you, this just isn’t my day!

WordGirl: Well, it just might be MY day, because YOU’RE about to be incarcerated!

Mr. Big: I’m sorry, could you--

WordGirl: -- clarify ? Sure! That means you’re going to jail, mister! Now, Huggy!

(They both hold out handcuffs and clamp them around the wrists of Mr. Big and Leslie. Leslie is shown filing her nails after being handcuffed.)

Mr. Big: Should have seen that coming.

Narrator: So once again, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face save the city, and  clarify  a whole bunch of words along the way! Join us again next time for another fabulous, miraculous, remarkable and just plain good episode of-- WordGirl!