Ray Home Alone


 * (This episode begins at Barone's house)
 * Debra: What are you doing?
 * Ray: I never remember where I get these black and blue marks. It freaks me out.
 * Debra: So you're starting a bruise journal?
 * Ray: Yeah, yeah. I just hurt myself. Shin on toilet; Light to medium impact.
 * Debra: Maybe I shouldn't leave you alone here for the weekend.
 * Ray: No, no, no. Come on. The kids-- kids have to see their other grandparents. We can't have them growing up thinking what's across the street is normal, right?
 * Ally: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
 * Doll: Daddy! Daddy!
 * Ally: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
 * Doll: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
 * Ray: See? I told you she'd love that doll.
 * Debra: Yeah, thanks a lot, Ray. That's gonna be fun all the way to Connecticut.
 * Ray: Man, I wish I was going. The game's a joke. It's a blowout. Let's see what else is on.
 * Man: I can do it!
 * Ray: It's my house.
 * Doug: Can I ask you guys something? When was the last time you cried?
 * Gianni: What do you mean? About sports?
 * Doug: No, something real. I mean really cried.
 * Gianni: So nothing with sports?
 * Doug: No. Like last week I was watching "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. The guy was looking for his shrunken kids and I cried 'cause I didn't think my father would come looking for me.
 * Gianni: It wouldn't be hard to find you.
 * Man: Yeah, you just look under the cookie that's moving across the floor.
 * Ray: No, no, no. No, guys. I know what he's talking about with the crying thing. The other day, I dropped my twins off at pre-school and I was watching them go in, you know? And just as the door was closing, I saw Michael take Geoffrey's hand and I don't know.
 * Gianni: I'm going home before you guys start making out.
 * Man: Yeah, I gotta go. It's getting late. I gotta go.
 * Ray: Whoa! Wait, wait!
 * Man: Hey, Gianni. I'll tell you my cry story in the car.
 * Gianni: Great! That'll be my throw-up story.
 * Ray: Whoa! What are you talking about? We're just getting started here.
 * Doug: Ray, we've been here like four hours.
 * Ray: Oh come on, man. It's not even 1 1 :00.
 * Man: I've been up since 6:00 A.M. I'm tired.
 * Ray: Come on. What, you can't take it, huh? You're wimps. What, you're not men?
 * Gianni: Ray, you're the one that just told us you cry because you think your twins are gay.
 * Ray: That wasn't the point of the story!
 * Gianni: I don't want to know the point of the story.
 * Ray: Come on, it's my one night of freedom here, guys! Doug! Oh, come on!
 * Aileen: I probably should get going. I have to get up early.
 * Rob: Oh, is it getting late?
 * Aileen: Maybe not.
 * Rob: What the hell is that? It's 12:30.