Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem

Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem is a 2012 Annie Award-winning 3D motion simulator.

First Preshow
the first preshow begins with Gru standing in front of the camera.

Gru: Testing... Testing... Ah-o-wee-a-hoo-ha. [clears his throat, then backpedals] Greetings, recruits. Welcome to my home. I am Gru, master villain, scourge of humanity. So... you want to be a Minion? Your training will begin soon, but be warned danger lurks... [sinisterly] at every turn.

Suddenly, Agnes enters the room, chasing Kyle, causing Gru to back away from the camera.

Agnes: Kyle! Come here, Kyle!

Gru: Agnes, please! Please! Uhh... Daddy's trying to be evil!

Meanwhile, Edith and Margo also enter the room. The former makes a funny face in front of the camera while the latter approaches Gru.

Margo: [scoffs] What are you doing?

Gru: [turns to her] I am trying to... [suddenly turns to Agnes, who's holding Kyle]

Agnes: [singsong; to the audience] Who's the cutest puppy in the world? [continues chasing Kyle]

Gru: [sighs] Now, where was I?

Margo approaches the camera and breaths on before Kyle's smudge with her shirt.

Gru: [looks behind her suspiciously] Margo!

Margo: [turns to Gru] What? There was a smudge.

Suddenly, Edith pops up in front of Gru again, this time holding a sock puppet.

Edith: [impersonating] I am Evil Clown! Fear my red nose! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

When Gru and Margo notice Edith inpersonating, the latter is satisfied, but the former is insecure. Gru

Gru: [furious] That's enough! [the girls, including Edith, turn to him] Girls, will you please just let me do this?! [gestures the audience irately]

Edith: [approaches him] Oh! We're trying to keep things interesting.

Margo motions Agnes to listen to Gru.

Agnes: [disappointed] Sheesh.

Gru: [calmly] Okay, just... just be still. Don't say anymore... words. [clears his throat before turning to the audience] These are my daughters. [turns to his daughters] Say hello briefly''. [turns his head to each of the girls'']

Edith: Hello out there!

Margo: S'up?

Agnes: [singsong] Greetings from the television!

Gru: [turns to the audience] Anyway, let's begin. We're going to start with a written exam. [snaps his fingers, signalling a Minion holding a paper stack] The test should be longer than three hours. You do this exam and depart. Ha ha!

Margo: [cuts him off] Hey, hey!

Gru: [turns to Margo] Hmm?

Margo: [whispering] We're not doing a written exam, remember?

Gru: [to himself; calmly] What? We're not? Oh right. [to the Minion] Ditch that.

The Minion leaves

Gru: [turns to the audience] Hopefully, you were given your Minion Goggles.

The video reveals a blueprint of the goggles before revealing Nefario showing a dozen of models to a Minion.

Gru: [voice-over] These goggles were designed by our own loveable and disturbingly old scientist Doctor Nefario. After spending months sampling the latest in eyewear technology, he would not rest until he found the perfect model of goggles. Doctor Nefario was looking for functionality, comfort and little bit of flair. Finally, he chose the chiq but sensible goggles that you're holding in your hot little hands.

The Minion, sleeping of boredness, falls off his chair; Nefario simply shrugs. The video then reveals a duo of Minions manufacturing a pair of goggles.

Gru: [voice-over] They went through the most restrained testing to ensure maximum quality and durability.

The tall Minion holding the goggles checks them before giving a thumbs up. The short one holds up a mallet, hitting the former's thumb, causing him to scream in pain. However, the latter smiles innocently. Next, the video reveals another duo of Minions. One wears a pair of goggles while the other controls a ray gun which he aims

Gru: [voice-over] We had to make sure that they could withstand any outside force.

The gun is fired at the Minion wearing goggles, but leaves him unharmed. He takes off the goggles before giving a thumbs up. The video then reveals five Minions. A tall one, wearing a pair of goggles, is standing in the mold.

Gru: [voice-over] Oh, yes! [the mold drops on the Minion, sticking him between the two halves] These babies were built to last.

The video now reveals another Minion.

Gru: [voice-over] You have Nefario's gurantee: the goggles will last five times longer...

The Minion waves from a distance until he explodes.

Gru: [voice-over] ...than the person wearing them.

The Minion holds up his goggles to see if it's okay. The video then shows the Grus, each one holding a pair of 3D glasses in their hands.

Gru: You must wear the goggles once you're seated in the Transformation Pods, but remember:

A safety spiel reveals a duo of Minions, each holding a pair of goggles; one donses his already.

Gru: [voice-over] Do not put on the goggles until you're told to do so, or this could happen. [the Minion smacks his face into a chemical reactor] I'm not saying this WILL happen... [the Minion smacks into the camera] just that it COULD happen! [the Minion hits a rake] And if it did, it would be funny,... [the Minion accidentally presses a button] ...to me. [a lot of bombs drop onto the Minion wearing glasses, making other laugh] You'd be too busy getting hit by things to appreciate it.

The video then cuts to another duo of Minions, this time standing near water. One of them is wearing goggles.

Gru: [voice-over] In the event of a water landing... [the Minion without goggles kicks the other in water] ...your goggles can be used a flotation device.

Seeing the Minion with goggles now floating, the other laughs until a large bomb drops on him. Cut to yet another duo of Minions sitting at a dinner table. One of the two puts off his goggles and puts some jalapeno sauce in it.

Gru: However, in the event of a dinner party, goggles cannot be used to hold cheese and/or jalapeno dip. [the Minion dips a chip in the jalapeno] Ever. [Once he digests it, the other laughs at him until he turns red and breathes fire at him] It's gross.

Cut on two Minions, each putting on the goggles at different places.

Gru: [voice-over] If you are unsure on how to put on the goggles, ask a lab assistant. But come on. Who doesn't know how to put these things on?

Cut to a one-eyed Minion trying to put on a pair of goggles, but starts crying once realising he can't until a possibly five-eyed Minion appears. Noticing the problem, the latter hands the former a Minion Goggle with a single, who happily hugs him.

Gru: [voice-over] If your number of eyes does not match the number of lenses, please tell a lab assistant. We have Minion Goggles for every ocular variety. Enjoy your Minion Goggles, future-Minions!

The safety spiel ends, now revealing the Grus.

Gru: Okay, got all that? Good! Do as I say, heed my words, or pay the price!

Margo: And have fun!

Edith: [impersonating] It's gonna be great! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

Agnes: [adjusting his jaws] Come on! Smile, Gru!

Pause

Gru: [sighs] I hate smiling.

The video ends, revealing Gru's logo onscreen

Announcer: This is a motion simulator involving sudden and extreme movement. Expectant mothers, and individuals with heart, back or neck conditions, abnormal blood pressure, or those to motion sickness or dizziness are advised not to ride this attraction. For your safety, please remain seated, hold on to the lap restrain and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. Please supervise children to make sure everyone has the right seat. Children may not sit on laps. Secure all loose items. Finally, the use of still or video cameras is not permitted.

The doors open to the second preshow room.

Gru: All right, future-Minions. I hope you finally enjoy my pre-recorded message. Let's see how well you take direction. Come meet me in the Minionisation Prep Room so we can all can get started. Please stay in your row and move foward, feeling all the available space in front of you and so help me. Do not put on your Minion Goggles yet. Don't delay! This is going to be really fun... for me. You'll all be great Minion, I can tell. You want to know who is my favorite Minion? You are! Well, you soon will be. Remember: No goggles yet. You don't want to test me on this one, believe me!