Phineas and Ferb Busters!

(Scene opens up with Candace pressing her face against a window, waiting for her mother's arrival)

Candace: (chaotic laugh) Ooooooh, you are so busted this time! (laughs) Busted, busted, busted, busted, tra-la-la, hey, hey! (car horn) Huh? Mom!!

(Candace runs to the car)

Candace: (giggles) Mom, Mom, Mom! (opens car door)

Linda: Hi, honey.

Candace: (grabs Linda's arm with eyes closed) Wait til you see what Phineas and Ferb are up to now!

(Candace opens the gate)

Candace: (laughs) See?!?...What?

(her perspective, all that's left are Phineas and Ferb under the tree)

Phineas: Hey Mom, hey Candace.

Candace: But, but but -- !

Linda: (with disdain) I'm going to go check on my roast.

Candace: URRRRRGH! (ties hair into bow) But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but...but...but...but...but...but...

(Scene shifts to night, then back to the following day)

Buford: (as he walks by a dismayed Candace) You've inspired me; I'm growing out my bangs.

Baljeet: (as he also walks by) Namaste, compadres.

Candace: (untying her hair) Ohhhhh, no matter what I try, I just can't do it! It's impossible!

Isabella: The impossible is possible! With a little teamwork. That's what the Fireside Girls say.

Candace: Teamwork?

Isabella: Sure! How do you think I got this mountain-moving patch?

Candace: (pause) By...mindlessly repeating a flawed busting strategy?

Isabella: Noooo, through teamwork! See that mountain over there? It used to be over there. With a little teamwork, you can do anything.

Candace: Teamwork. Teamwork! (dials phone) Stacy? I know what we're gonna do today.

Baljeet: Thank you for letting me choose today's activity.

Phineas: No worries, Baljeet.

Buford: It is Nerd Awareness Week.

Baljeet: It is called "spinning tops."

Buford: LAME!

Baljeet: Of DOOM!

Buford: Alright I'll give it a shot.

(Later...)

Baljeet: Okay, everyone! Here is how you play: You hold your top...and then...you SPIN!

(Everyone spins their tops, they spin for a short moment and drop)

Isabella: So then, what?

Baljeet: YOU DO IT AGAIN! AH-HA-HA-HA! Ah. It is lame, isn't it?

Phineas: Not at all, Baljeet. It just needs a little more oomph.

Baljeet: I was hoping you would say that!

Phineas: Anybody notice a distinct lack of egg-laying mammals in the backyard? Baljeet, would you do the honors?

Baljeet: Boy howdy! Aham. Ah...

(Cut to Perry's lair)

Major Monogram: Where's Perry? Oh, there you are. Didn't uh...see ya...sittin' there. Anyway -- our sources tell us that Doofenshmirtz is up to something and if we're gonna put a stop to it, we'll need a little of that old egg-laying mammalian magic.

(Perry disappears)

Major Monogram: (gasp) Why how did -- oh, why that little scamp?

(Perry leaves)

Candace: Alright, ladies. I've got a crew, I've got a plan, I wanna bust. Questions? (Stacy raises her hand) Stacy?

Stacy: Do you have this jumpsuit in pink? Cause I'm not really a tangerine kind of gal.

Candace: (eye twitches) WHY IS EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT?!? (sobs)

Jenny: Maybe if we help her bust her brothers, she'll be done with all this busting stuff for good.

Stacy: You're absolutely right, Jenny. Hey, Candace?

Candace: Uh...

Stacy: I was just kidding about the color, I love orange.

Jenny: And I'm all about persimmon. So, what do we do next?

Candace: You've heard of Boot Camp? Well, ladies, welcome to Bust Camp!

(Song: Bust Your Brothers)

Oh yeah!

Stacy: Mom.

You've got to bust your brothers

Make sure that there's no way around it!

You got to bust your brothers

And don't you stop until they're grounded.

Show your mom what they've been doing,

The trouble they've been brewing,

You know these two are due, and how!

You got to bust your brothers

You've got to bust your brothers now!

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

Doofenshmirtz: Norm, hurry up with that coffee! I still got that terrible morning taste in my mouth. (smacks lips)

Norm: Coming right up, sir! Scalding hot, just the way you -- (trips on rug, spills coffee) Whoopsie daisy!

Doofenshmirtz: AAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Ow! I know I didn't make you that smart, but you can't even walk straight? (doorbell rings)

Norm: I'll get it. (opens door, delivery guy is there) You'll be so delighted when your package arrives in six-to-eight weeks.

(Cut to Doof drying himself off.)

Doofenshmirtz: My new nemesis toy! Go run my bubble bath while I open it. I wonder which one it is. (opens it) Oh, not another platypus. I was hoping for something more like Manny the Mongoose or something. Hey, let's see if it lays eggs. (The "platypus toy" kicks him.) PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!?! Say hello to my little friend! (He pushes a button on his watch, and an inator rolls in.) My new Straitjacket-inator! Ha ha! it was tailor-made just for you by my other little friend. (Whip pan to reveal a small robot.) It may be small, but it's stronger and smarter than Norm and it's so much more efficient.

(Cut to Norm blowing bubbles into the bath.)

Norm: 847...848...

(Cut to the garage. Candace is standing in front of a blackboard.)

Candace: Listen up, team, I'll be at the front of the house tracking Mom on my GPS device. (Cut to Stacy and Jenny asleep.) Jenny, (Jenny wakes up.) you'll guard the gate. See to it that Phineas and Ferb stay in the hot zone. Stacy, (Stacy wakes up.) you make sure whatever they built stays there 'til Mom comes home. To achieve that goal, we use the following busting jargon: When Mom comes home, the cue is "The condor is in the nest." When the boys are in prime busting position, it's "The peas are in the pod." And if what they have built somehow disappears, I want you to scream, "The banana has split!" Got it? (Stacy and Jenny salute.) Good. Now, in the event that any of us should be captured— (alarm blares) That's the Mom Signal! Ladies, it's go time! So move it, move it, move it!

(The Phineas and Ferb-busters take off.)

Stacy: The pea is in the pod!

Jenny: The condor is in the nest!

Candace: Mom! Mom! Phineas and Ferb have built outer space in our backyard! (Cut to reveal crudely drawn cardboard cutouts of Phineas and Ferb and the "project". Cut back to Candace to reveal "Linda" is just a dummy.) Nice drill, ladies. I'm-a lovin' teamwork!

Phineas: Hey, Candace, nice us's! When did you make those?

(beat)

Candace: (wheeling the dummy out) Pay no attention to them, "Mom".

(Cut back to Doof.)

Doofenshmirtz: Yes, this new robot of mine is much more evil than Norm. Course, it can't talk, but that can be a good thing. And it even has a convenient blender attachment. (The robot's dome opens and produces a smoothie.) Next, I'm thinking of a platypus purée. (cut to Norm's room) This new model requires so little energy to run it really makes clumsy old Norm quite obsolete. (Norm peaks out from behind the door.)

Norm: Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking.

(The "Norm" sign falls off to reveal the word "Closet" behind it.)

(Cut back to the backyard.)

Phineas: We're ready to go. You sure you don't want one, Buford?

Buford: Naw, I still say it's lame.

Phineas: Fair enough. Canopies down, everybody.

Isabella: Ready!

Baljeet: (the canopy closes on his fingers) Ah! (he reopens it and closes it properly) Ready.

Phineas: Okay, Ferb, bring out the radiant power source.

(Ferb gives a thumbs up and climbs out of his top.)

Isabella: What's that?

Phineas: You can't plug the tops in or the cords would get all wrapped up. So we created a power source that will radiate energy across the yard to anything that needs it. (Ferb activates the power source and climbs back into his top.) Okay, everybody, now, the secret to a good top spin, if I can call it that—

(Baljeet bumps into him laughing.)

Phineas: Ha, good one, Baljeet!

Baljeet: This is almost as fun—

Isabella: (bumps Baljeet) I'm going for my bumper patc— (gets bumped by Ferb)

(Overhead camera shot of the gang in the tops as they laugh.)

(Cut to Candace looking on her GPS device.)

Candace: Code red, busters! The condor is on the wing! I want feet on the ground! It's real this time!

Stacy: Moving in! (swings down from the top of the tree)

Jenny: Rock and roll!

(Cut to Buford.)

Buford: Ah, still lame. (walks to the power source) Maybe I can liven things up a bit.

(He changes the dial into the danger zone. A huge blast emerges from the source. The blast effects not only the tops but Stacy and Jenny's headsets, which explode.)

Stacy: What's going on?! Why are they going so fast?!

(Cut to downtown Danville. The blast effects the entire town, which causes a car to drive off without its driver, an electric razor to shave its user bald, and a cymbal banging monkey to make a baby cry. Cut to D.E.I.  The blast effects the building.)

Doofenshmirtz: Ah, look at him, he's— He's positively shaking with anticipation at the thought of helping me take over the Tri-State Area. He's— (The robot suddenly begins to transform and grow.) Hoo-hoo-hoo! I-I didn't even know he could do that, whatever it is. Wow! I'm a better evil scientist than I thought!

Robot: Doofenshmirtz, your pathetic schemes have all failed! Step aside and let the true master take over!

Doofenshmirtz: (gasps) He can talk! (gets blasted by the robot) And shoot, too! Ow! Save me! Save me, Perry the Platypus! AAAAAHHH!

(Perry manages to escape from his straitjacket. He fires a grappling hook from his wristwatch and it latches onto the robot.  He swings onto the robot's arm and gets into a fighting position.)

Robot: Perry the Platypus, my fight is with Doofenshmirtz, not you. (He flicks Perry off and Perry flings out of the building.)

(Cut to outside. Perry's wristwatch communicator beeps.)

Major Monogram: Agent P, an unusual power wave has struck the city with potentially disastrous consequences. Forget Doofenshmirtz, find the source of that power wave, and dismantle it.

Perry!

(Perry launches his hang-glider.)

(Cut back to the timid Doof and the giant robot.)

Robot: Prepare to meet your maker, maker! (He powers up his hand and blasts, but misses when Doof trips.)

Doofenshmirtz: I'm feeling such an odd mixture of pride and mortal terror.

(The robot opens his dome and a giant spinning blade emerges from it. Cut to outside D.E.I.)

Doofenshmirtz: (offscreen) Mostly terror! Mostly terror!

(Cut to the house.)

Candace: The condor is in the nest! Let's go, condor!

Linda: Candace, what is going on?

Candace: You'll see! Just wait.

Linda: So, I'm guessing your brothers are doing something wildly dangerous?

Candace: Uh...

Linda: Well, I've got a few seconds to kill before my bladder bursts like a water balloon, so let's get this over with. (walks in the direction of the backyard, but Candace stops her)

Candace: No! Teamwork! I mean, we've got to wait for the signal! Any second now. Come on, girls, give me the code!

(Cut to the backyard.)

Stacy: Without the headsets, how can we signal Candace?!

Jenny: I don't know!

Stacy: How can she not hear this racket?!

(Cut back to Linda.)

Linda: That's quite a racket back there. Are you sure you don't want me to take a look?

Candace: No way! Not until I get the signal.

(Tops are heard crashing.)

(Cut back to Doof.)

Doofenshmirtz: Norm! Norm, help me, I'm gonna be puréed!

Norm: Sorry, sir, no can do. I'm bringing coffee to the new boss.

Robot: Sounds delicious. Just a moment.

Doofenshmirtz: AAAh! I don't want to be a smoothie!

Norm: Here you go, sir. Just the way you— ("accidentally" throws the coffee mug) Whoopsie-daisy.

(The coffee splashes onto the robot's screen causing it to electrocute. Doof falls into the arms of Norm.)

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, it's lucky for me you tripped on that rug again.

Norm: There was no rug, sir.

(Cut to reveal a blank shiny space where the rug should be.)

Doofenshmirtz: Awww, thank you, Norm. I shouldn't have been so hard on you, but how come you were not affected by that strange energy thingy?

Norm: (puts Doof down) Don't you remember? I run on squirrel power! (opens his cavity to reveal a squirrel running on a wheel)

Doofenshmirtz: Wow! I should really read your operation manual.

(Cut back to Linda and Candace)

Candace: Wait for the signal. Wait for it.

(Cut to the backyard.)

Phineas: This is getting a little uncomfortable. Eject, everybody! (He ejects from his top.)

(Cut to Baljeet, who attempts to eject, but his canopy is still closed. He does it successfully, as do Isabella and Ferb. They land under the tree.  The tops fly away from the backyard.  Perry arrives to taken the switch out of the power source.)

Jenny: I lied about the persimmon.

(Cut back to Linda and Candace)

Linda: Alright, Candace, enough's enough!

Candace: No! (grabs her mother, on her headset) Is the pea in the pod?! Is the pea in the pod??! What's up with the pea?!?! (They finally get into the backyard.) Not again!

Linda: Hey, kids. So what was all the big racket back here?

Phineas: We were just playing with our tops.

Linda: Oh. Jenny and Stacy: Giant tops of doom!

Buford: (offscreen) LAME!

Linda: You girls are beginning to sound a lot like Candace. Candace: Oh, will you two give it up already?

Jenny: But you said to wait until she offers pie.

Linda: Ooh! Good idea! Who wants pie?

Jenny: (raises hand) Me!

Stacy: (raises hand) Me!

Candace: (raises hand slightly) Me.

Phineas and the Gang: Us!

Perry: (chatters)

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry! (He pets Perry and his leg kicks.)

End credits
Oh yeah!

Stacy: Mom.

You've got to bust your brothers

Make sure that there's no way around it!

You got to bust your brothers

And don't you stop until they're grounded.

Show your mom what they've been doing,

The trouble they've been brewing,

You know these two are due, and how!

You got to bust your brothers

You've got to bust your brothers now!