Catching the Wave

(Episode opens with Pops sitting down by the creek. He takes a deep breath.)

Pops: Oh, look. A squirrel.

(He sees a squirrel up on a branch. A butterfly flies over to give it an acorn, and the squirrel gnaws on it. It then bends over to the ground to drink some water provided by a fish in the creek. The squirrel then stretches out and starts taking a nap. Birds fly over it with a leaf in their beaks and they place it on the squirrel.)

Pops: I admire you, Mr. Squirrel. You're in perfect harmony with nature. I am also one with nature. In fact, I wrote a poem about being one with nature. Ahem. (Places a blade of grass over his eyes) A brow of grass, (Places moss on head) and hair of moss. Puddles are my dipping sauce. (Runs across the creek) A petal, a wing, an arm or two, presenting a hug from me to you! (Prepares to hug the bush, but gets prickled by a thorn) Oh! (Bees stings him) Oooh! (Wind picks up and a branch hits him. He runs away from the bush while holding his head. He falls into the creek, where snapping turtles start biting him.) Oh why, nature? WHYYYYYYYYY?!!

(Cut to the park house TV. A dude is shown surfing at the beach.)

Announcer: Surfers love riding the waves, but they also love having fun.

(Cut to a surfer on the shore at night)

Surfer #1: Ahahaha, brah. You see Duke in that last wave, brah?

Duke: Brah, I tried to pull out, brah.

Surfer #3: Dude, brah. You were just so deep in that barrel, I was like, "Brah!"

(The three surfers laugh. Mordecai and Rigby are watching this. Mordecai laughs while Rigby is eating chips.)

Mordecai: Is that really how they talk?

Rigby: Haha, yeah. "Brah. Hey, brah. Sup, brah. Brah-brah-brah-brah-brah."

Mordecai: Haha, yeah. What a bunch of losers. (Rigby gobbles up the chip crumbs) Dude, did you just eat the last of the chips, dude?

Rigby: Relax, dude. It was just crumbs.

Mordecai: Yeah, dude, but you ate the last of the chips before you ate the last of the crumbs, dude. When am I supposed to get my chip on? (Pops walks in, crying from earlier) Woah, Pops, what's wrong?

Pops: Oh, I'm just having a bad day with nature, I suppose. You mind if I sit here with you guys for a while?

Mordecai: Of course not.

Rigby: Yeah, take a loadoff.

(Pops sits down. Cut back to the surfing show.)

Surfer #4: Catching your first wave, it's just like, "Ahh"! I mean, I don't wanna sound like I'm bragging or whatever, but I really just feel sorry for dudes who can't ride waves. Cause you just pop up on that board, and you're just in it. (Starts riding a surfboard with seagulls around him) Just totally one with nature.

Pops: Oh, boy! (Starts clapping) That's what I have to do to be one with nature: surfing! (Cut to the City Beach. Pops holds up a book.) "Peachy Perry's 3 P's to Surfing Perfect". (Opens book) The 3 P's are: (Watches a surfer) paddling, pivoting, popping up! Seems easy enough. (Starts paddling on his board) Paddling. (Sand goes on dudes and dudettes) Pivoting! Popping..(Tries to gets up but fails. Three surfers come over to him.)

Hurl: Haha. Gramps can't even get up on his board.

Pops: Salutations, fellows. (finally gets back up) My name is Pops.

(The surfers laugh)

Hurl: What kind of stupid name is that?

Pops: What's your name?

Hurl: Hurl Hurlbutt. And these are my associates, Murl and Burl.

Murl: Hey, we should call this guy Mondo Cabezo.

Burl: Hey, Mondo Cabezo, can I rub your head for good luck?

(He and Pops laugh)

Hurl: Hey, Mondo! I think I can see your family on the water!

(Points to the round buoys. He and his friends laugh.)

Pops: I am as mother nature made me, sir.

Hurl: Mother nature gave you the worst body for surfing ever, brah!

Pops: (Holds up book) Peachy says anybody can catch a wave with enough practice.

Hurl: Uh, yeah. Peachy's'' dead. (Snickers)''

(The three surfers laugh at Pops when they notice the other surfers going to catch a big wave)

Hurl: Primo surf. (The four grab their boards) Whoo! Yeah! (Noticing Pops) Ugh, get outta here, Mondo! You're gonna harsh our ride!

Pops: No! (Groans as the waves splash him) Paddle! Pivot! (Turns away from the wave) Pop up!

(Pops is dragged deeper into the wave and ends up knocking the three surfers off of their boards. Pops is washed ashore, and Hurl and his friends are standing over him, glaring. Pops nervously smiles and waves before screaming and running to Carmenita, flying off as all the surfers drive him away from the beach. Cut back to Pops's house, where Mordecai is with Rigby holding a tennis ball. Rigby chuckles.)

Mordecai: (Moving the ball) Dude, quiet. I'm trying to focus.

(Throws the ball onto the garage switch, causing the door to go down onto a perfectlly placed pencil) 

Mordecai (continued): Hahaha. Garage beats pencil.

(They high five just as Pops arrives)

Rigby: Uh, how'd surfing work out for you, Pops?

Pops: Hideous! Not only did I not become one with nature, but I made surfer enemies.

Mordecai: Maybe it's better if you just forgot the whole surfing thing.

Rigby: Yeah. Try sticking to lollipops and fanciness. Your comfort zone. I mean, look at me! I've never left my comfort zone, and I'm doing great!

Mordecai: Plus, those jerk surfers basically proved they're not one with nature if they ran you off the beach.

Pops: (Shakes his head and puts on his hat) Oh, Mordecai. I don't mean to offend your reasoning, but surfers are most certainly one with nature. The fine people who live inside the television do not lie.

Mordecai: Uhh, no offense taken, but maybe you can at least take a break from the other surfers for a while, until you get the hang of it.

Rigby: Yeah, you're rich. Why don't you just build a beach here at the park?

Pops: Oooh, Rigby, that's brilliant! (Claps hands) And you and Mordecai can import dolphins for atmosphere!

Mordecai: Ok... (Scratches his chin)... or maybe just a wave machine for the lake?

(Cut to the Park lakefront, where the Wavy Train has been called.)

Wavy Train Guy: Wave on!

(He cranks the newly added wave machine up, causing the waves to build. Pops begins paddling.)

Pops: (laughing) Watch, this everyone!

(He turns the board around as he draws into the wave.)

Mordecai: You think this is gonna work?

(Pops starts to pop up, but is too late as he is tumbling over the wave. He splashes in. He swims back over to his board and waves to the guys. When he tries to hop back on, he struggles around.)

Rigby: Lookin' good, Pops! (to Mordecai) Yeah, this is never gonna work.

(Pops has faced away from the wave again. He goes over the wave and drowns underneath, where he get sucked into a pipe. This blocks the water from the machine.)

Mordecai: Uh-oh.

(We cut to Pops in his room with Dr. Henry and Benson with the guys.)

Dr. Henry: So you were saying Pops was surfing out on the park lake.?

Benson: Yes. He, uh, wanted to be one with nature or something, I don't know.

Dr. Henry: Well, we can't have that.

(He walks over to Pops' x-ray.)

Dr. Henry (continued): Just look at tis x-ray. Jumping to a standing position, with a head of this size, put too much strain on the feeble spine. Like trying to hold a bowling ball on a stick of angel hair pasta. Pops, I have to recommend that you stay on land.

Pops: But...but I'll never become one with nature on land!

Dr. Henry: Let me put this in terms you'll understand.

(He pulls out a lollipop from his pocket.)

Dr. Henry (continued): This is your body. And this is your body on surfing.

(He cracks the lollipop.)

Dr. Henry (continued): Any questions?

Pops: Well, I thank you for your medical opinion, Dr. Henry, but I intend to keep chasing said waves unitl I chase one down and then ride it!

(Clock trainsition)

Dr. Henry: But I'm trusting you boys to keep him off that board come morning.

Mordecai: Don't worry, we'll stay up all night and guard the door.

Rigby: Yeah, he'll never make it past our security team.

(Mordecai and Rigby place chairs on either side of the door and sit on them with their arms folded.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm!

(A split second later, they fall asleep. We cut back to the park lake, where Pops has somehow escaped outside to try surfing again. When he pivots from the wave, he sees Hurl Hurlbutt coming through.)

Hurl: Alright! Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Ahahaha!

(The other two surfer friends are there with him.)

Hurl (continued): You were right about the sweet break at this place, brah.

(Pops stumbles over the wave like before. He rides back around the wave and the surfers.)

Hurl (continued): No chop no sharks...(spots Pops) Ahh! How'd Mondo Cabezo find out about our wave, brah?

(Pops gets back on his board.)

Pops: This is my wave.

(Cut back to the house. Mordecai wakes up from sleeping. He notices Rigby drooling and screams. Rigby wakes up.)

Rigby: What?

(They get up.)

Mordecai: We fell asleep?!

(Mordecai opens the door to Pops' room.)

Rigby: Dude, there's no way he got past us. Plus his head is too big to fit through the win-

(It's revealed that Pops sawed a big hole in the wall big the windows to escape. Mordecai and Rigby scream at this, scream at each other, and run out. Back on the lake, Hurl and the surfers are harassing Pops, surfing around him.)

Hurl: Get off our wave, Mondo!

(Pops falls off his board, his head in the bottom.) The other groundskeepers are at the scene with Mordecai and Rigby.)

Benson: What's going on?

Mordecai: Pops is in trouble!

Benson: To the lake boats!

(They run to get them while the surfers keep surfing at Pops.)

Benson (continued): Hey! Get away from him!

(The groundskeepers are rowing the boats towards the surfers.)

Hurl: Brace, brahs!

(The surfers get knocked off their boards and bashed on their heads with oars. The groundskeepers cheer as they swim off to land.)

Murl: Hurl! We gotta call for reinforcements!

Hurl: Let us perform the ancient call of the surfers.

(The three surfers grab bongos from their van.)

Hurl (continued): (laughs gleefully) Wipeout.

(They play the call on their bongos, and Murl then points a signal in the sky. Random vehicles with dudes and dudettes in them, along with a band arrive at the park lake. They get out of their vehicles, hop on their boards and get in. Two surfers get into the lae windsurfing. Skips begins fighting them.)

Skips: There's too  many of 'em!

(The park workers start getting trampled by the surfers, and knocked into the water. Pops follows the surfers as they approach the wave.)

Groundskeepers: Pops, no!

Hurl: Time to crank this baby up to 11.

(Hurls cranks the wave machine up, causing the wave to rise up and push all the surfers, except Pops, offboard.)

Pops: Pivot, pop- ooh!

Benson: We gotta help Pops!

(The park workers swim off to stop the 3 surfers, while Pops is hanging onto his board for dear life, whimpering.)

Hurl: Mondo?! Get him off there.

(Murl and Burl surf off to Pops.)

Pops: Pop... up....

(The two surfers begin to try and knock Pops off his board, while Hurl is laughing.)

Mordecai: Hey!

Benson: Hand it over!

(Hurl immediately cranks the machine "Gnarly to the MAX" when Mordecai punches him in the face, causing him to drop the control and fall off, crushing it in the process. This in turn causes the wave machine to explode, knocking the park workers away. The wave gathers up all the water and rises up, and Murl and Burl fall off. The water shoots up into the sky, and comes back down, emerging as an ultimate wave, Pops being the only surfer on it. The wave rushes towards the park workers and the surfers. The dudes and dudettes run for their lives.)

Murl: The ultimate wave!

(He and Burl proceed to ride it, but Hurl stops them.)

Hurl: No brahs, it's suicide to ride that wave. Let Mondo have this one.

(Pops screams and desperately holds on.)

Mordecai: Pops! If you wipe out, you'll die!

(The park workers and the 3 surfers run off screaming as the wave draws in even closer.)

Pops: Pop up, Pops! Ride the wave, Pops! But, but I'm so afraid! Afraid of those rufians, afraid of my body failing, but mostly I'm...I'm afraid of you, nature! Why have you been so mean to me? Well, whether you like it or not, I'm gonna ride this wave!

(Pops finally pops up on his surfboard and laughs joyfully. The park workers cheer him on. He continues to dance and laugh.)

Pops: Finally! I'm one with nature!

(He begins to glow.)

Hurl: No way!

(As Pops continues to surf on the ultimate wave, he is joined by a flock of seagulls. A sun shines over the wave, a rainbow appearing. A shadowy figure is seen in the wave, revealing itself under Pops to be a humpback whale.)

Humpback Whale: (speaking through subtitles) Pops...You have passed the test. You are one with nature once more.

Pops: Let's never fight again! Ooh!

(The whale shoots water out of its spout, sending Pops really high, spinning while surfing. Four dolphins rise out of the wave. Hurl and his friends are standing on the van watching the nature scene.)

Hurl: Man, this was a bust. Let's go get some fish tacos.

(Before they can leave, however, the four dolphins crush them. The park workers are stunned at what they are seeing.)

Mordecai: Do you think he'll ever be back?

Benson: He's with nature now, Mordecai. He's with nature.

(He wipes tears from his eyes. Pops continues to laugh as he surfs off through the city with the seagulls, while unknowingly leaving it wrecked.)

(End of Catching the Wave)