Who is Supercow?

(The episode opens up on a houseboat named HMS Hiney which belongs to the Red Guy and is tied up to a small dock at night.)

Chicken: "Help! Somebody! Help!"

(The camera cuts to the inside of Red's houseboat, where the Red Guy, wearing a chef's uniform, is lowering Chicken into a boiling kettle.)

Red Guy: "Oh, what's the matter, Chicken? DON'T YOU LIKE MY COOKING?!"

Supercow: (offscreen) "¡Al rescate!" (Red looks up to see Supercow crashing in.) "¡Oye, Diablo! Toma!"

(The houseboat rocks in the bay as Supercow beats Red to a pulp. She then puts Chicken in her mouth, laughing victoriously, and flies off for home.)

Red Guy: (spits out some soup and moans) "Oh, I hate that Supercow." (moans again, leaning his head back into the soup)

(Cut to: HMS Hiney, ext.)

Red Guy: (continues, frustrated) "Supercow! Supercow!" (The camera cuts back inside the houseboat to see newspaper clippings of Supercow.) "I've got to know who is Supercow! Think!" (He puts a dart in his head to "think" and then notices it's still in his head. He laughs embarrassingly and pulls it off.) "I hate Supercow!" (He tosses the dart to a picture of Supercow on his dartboard.) "I must find her true identity. THEN, I CAN DIE HAPPY! (slides on the floor) But, where would I find her? How could I get her attention? (comes with an idea) I'VE GOT IT!"

(Cut to: Cow and Chicken's house, ext.)

TV Announcer: "We will return to our feature presentation of The Legend of Piles the Beaver after these messages.)

(The camera cuts to Cow and Chicken watching TV the next morning.)

Red Guy: (dressed as a dry cleaning owner) "Superheroes, are your leotards starting to stink? Are your booties getting brittle? IS YOUR CAPE KINDA CRUDDY?! Then, come on to the Hiney Beau Dry Cleaners, where if you're a superhero, YOUR CLEANING is free!"

(Cow thinks about the TV commercial.)

(Cut to: Hiney Beau Dry Cleaners, ext.)

Red Guy: "Now, whoever brings in the Supercow outfit is the real Supercow. (The doorbell rings.) Ooh, sounds like I've got my first customer."

(A gang of superheroes rush inside, drop off their costumes, and run off in their underwear with their claim checks. The Red Guy is buried under the pile of outfits and sticks his head out. He holds up an outfit belonging to Corn Cob Man.)

Red Guy: "Corn Cob Man? There's a lot of sick people in this town." (digs through the pile) "Ooh, that Supercow costume has got to be in here somewhere! (finds the Supercow costume, cackling) At last, I'll find out who Supercow really is!"

(First, he puts it in the washer.)

Red Guy: "WASH!" (The washer runs for a few seconds and stops, and Red pulls out the costume, now in a tiny size. He brings it over to the dryer.) "DRY! Oops." (He pulls out a hammer as a "fabric softener".) "Fabric softener." (He turns on the dryer and whistles a short tune. When the dryer finishes its job, Red pulls out the costume, already giant-sized, to the iron press.) "STARCH! Press." (He shuts the lid and lets the iron press run for a few seconds. It finishes, and Red pulls the costume off from the iron press' surface.) "Voila! Now, all I have to do is wait and see who picks it up!"

(The doorbell rings, and Chicken comes in with a claim check. Chicken then rings the service bell, just as the Red Guy arrives at the counter.)

Red Guy: "Can you be helped?"

Chicken: "Yeah, I'm here to pick up dat costume!"

Red Guy: "What? This?" (brings his hand to the costume)

Chicken: "Yeah! The one in your hand!"

Red Guy: "Are you sure this is yours?"

Chicken: (losing patience) "Yeah, I got the claim check, do I not?"

Red Guy: (looks at the check, chortling) "I'm curious." (pointing to the udder holes in the costume) "What is it you put in these four holes, hmmm?"

Chicken: "Gimme dat! I am picking it up as a favor already! (leaves the dry cleaners with his sister's costume, grumbling)

(The Red Guy ponders to himself, as the camera cuts back to Cow and Chicken's house, where Chicken comes inside through the front door with the costume. The camera pans left to see Red poke his head and his read from both sides of a tree."

Red Guy: "Oooh, Cow and Chicken's house. Supercow must be inside, but how do I tell who it is? (thinking) What do I know about Supercow? Oh, she speaks Spanish!"

(The camera cuts to Cow polishing in hooves in red, humming. She hears the doorbell ring and opens the door, where the Red Guy is dressed as a maraca player.)

Red Guy: "¡Hola! Anyone here speak a el española?"

Cow: "Oh, I'm so sorry. But, I do not understand a thing you are saying. Bye-bye now." (She shuts the door.)

Red Guy: (muttering)

(Cow hears the doorbell again and opens the door again, where the Red Guy is this time dressed as a superhero and has a chunk of kryptonite on top of him.)

Red Guy: "Help! Oh, superhero down. (pretends to be weakened by the kryptonite's affects) Need... assistance."

Cow: "Oh, I'm sorry. I can't do anything. I'm just a wittle cow. Good luck." (shuts the door)

(The Red Guy snaps. He throws the chunk away and throws off his costume.)

Red Guy: "WHAT ELSE DO I KNOW ABOUT SUPERCOW?! WHAT ELSE?! Okay, THINK! (bangs his head against the wall) "A! She speaks Spanish. Two! She's a superhero." (Two visions of Cow's head and udders appear next to Red.)

Cow: (earlier) "I'm just a wittle cow."

(The visions disappear, and Red finally gets the answer!"

Red Guy: "Oh, that's it! She's a cow!"

(Cow hears the doorbell ring one last time and opens the door to see Red in his casual nude.)

Cow: "Hello."

Red Guy: "Hello. Did you just say you were a cow?"

Cow: "Uh-huh!"

Red Guy: (grabs Cow) "A-ha! Gotcha!" (dashes off with Cow)

Cow: "Help! Help, big brother! Help!" (moos in distress)

Chicken: (rushing to the door) "But, what could I do? I'm just a little chicken!"

Cow: "Then, get Supercow!"

Chicken: (gets an idea) "Yeah! Supercow!"

(Cut to: Hiney Beau Dry Cleaners, ext.)

(The camera then cuts inside to see Cow tied up to the ceiling and Red armed with a steam cleaner.)

Red Guy: (cackles evilly) "Without you, Cow, I'll have no problem picking on that wittle chicken. (snickers) Well, Cow, are you ready FOR YOUR FREE STEAM CLEANING?!"

Chicken: (offscreen, as Supercow) "¡Al rescate!"

Cow: "Supercow!"

(Chicken jumps in wearing the Supercow outfit. He pulls out a Spanish-English dictionary and finds a pick-up line.)

Chicken: "A-ha! ¡¿Oye, donde esta el baño?!"

Red Guy: "I don't know what you just said, BUT I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU SAID IT!"

(Chicken slaps the dictionary in Red's face and runs off, with Red chasing him to the counter. Chicken stops at the end of the counter and jumps to get out of Red's way, as Red crashes into the counter, breaking it into pieces, as the cash register falls on his head. He pulls it off his head and chases after Chicken back to the laundry room. Red chucks the cash register towards Chicken's head, but Chicken ducks his head, and the cash register lands inside the dryer, causing blast out the laundry and then land on top of Red's head with Chicken on board.)

Cow: "Oh, you did it, big brother! You saved me!"

Chicken: "Yeah! I did, didn't I?" (carries Cow in his arms and stuffs Cow in his teeth, speaking through clenched teeth)   "Supercow!" (leaves the building with her sister)

Red Guy: (bruised) "Well, that wasn't so bad."

Superhero 1: "Hey! What happened to our costumes?"

Superhero 2: "Someone's going to pay for this!"

(The superheroes then beat up Red as payback.)

Red Guy: (continues to get bruised by the superheroes) "I take that back. This is real bad." (laughs embarrassingly)

(The camera cuts to the 'End' card.)

Red Guy: "End."

(Black out)