How Thor: Ragnarok Should Have Ended


 * Guy: Awe Man! Come on!
 * Both: Aaaagh!
 * Skurge: I'm just a janitor.
 * Hela: You look like a smart boy. How'd you like a job?
 * Skurge: Um... sure.
 * Hela: Excellent! Then you could start by grabbing that sword.
 * Skurge: Right away!
 * Hela: It's kind of the key to this whole thing, so I wouldn't want to leave it behind to get stolen.
 * Heimdall: Awe poop!


 * Korg: Don't worry, everyone! This is just a minor set back. All we need to do is extricate ourselves from this ginormous spear here. And then we can back to escaping.
 * Skurge: For Asgard!
 * Korg: Oh no. The ship has perished. It looks like we're all gonna die here. Sorry everyone. The revolution has ended.
 * Thor: Aaagh! Hela! Come on!
 * Hela: Mwahahahahahaha! It's over, brother! Your lightning and Led Zeppelin have failed!
 * Loki: Hmm?
 * Hela: You can't defeat me!
 * Thor: No I can't. But he can! Uh... I said... But he can!
 * Valkyrie: Um... Thor?
 * Loki: I'm sorry brother! But you know I can't be trusted!
 * Thor: Son of a...
 * Loki: Ice Giant!
 * All: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
 * Loki: So I left them all, and got the heck out of there!
 * All: Hahahahahaha!
 * Guy: And then what happened?
 * Hela: And then I defeated all of them!
 * All: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
 * Loki: And I took the tesseract!
 * Guy: OH SNAP!
 * All: AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
 * Thanos: Finally! I'll take that thanks! Now... Let's get this party started. Hey! How you doin? Someone's lookin... Hela fine!
 * Hela: Ugh! You can't defeat me!
 * Thor: No I can't. But she can! Wow. Those things are ridiculously powerful.
 * Valkyrie: Mmm hmm.
 * Thor: It's not possible!
 * Hela: Darling, you have no idea what's possible.
 * Thor: Gasp! My hammer! Nooooo! The hammer was just like a hammer to me!
 * (Doctor Strange arrives)
 * Doctor Strange: Okay you guys were supposed to leave promptly but instead I'm detecting even more inter-dimensional activity... Who is she?
 * Hela: Kneel!
 * Thor: This is our evil sister! She broke my hammer! She's going to destroy Asgard and who knows what else!
 * Doctor Strange: Okay well we can't have that can we?
 * Hela: I said kneel before your que...
 * Doctor Strange: She's going to be falling for a really... REALLY long time. Okay NOW you guys need to leave.
 * Thor: But my hammer! And the cafe.
 * Doctor Strange: (Sighs) Okay. Fine.
 * Thor: So the Doctor fixed my hammer... our sister if falling in an eternal abyss... I'm gonna be the king of Asgard... And everyone is happy and good! Isn't that right brother?
 * Loki: Yes... Everyone is happy... and... good.
 * Batman: Hrrmmmmm.


 * Loki: What do I look like? The Justice League? Mwahahahahaha! Zing!


 * Batman: This is all wrong! He's not supposed to be here!
 * Superman: Yeah can I just turn back time and make things back to normal?
 * Thor: What do you mean? Everything is back to normal? My brother and I are together again... I have my hammer... I have my hair... I don't have a girlfriend currently, but that's not even a problem for me. Everything IS back to normal.
 * Batman: Except... uh... well...
 * Thor: Except what? Except Father?
 * Superman: Except Hulk is still missing.
 * Thor: Oh! I forgot! Banner.
 * Loki: I'm not sad.
 * Thor: I wonder where he is.
 * Hulk: Don't worry! Hulk fine!
 * The Collector: Ahaa! Yes you are!