Ginger Hill in: Bursting Pipes

1 Pickin' flowers! - Argh! - [Gasps.] Grrr! My name's Maria. Who are you? Grr! Arrgh! - Here! You can have this flower. - Flower. Do you want to play a game? [Groans.] Peas, porridge, hot. [claps.] Peas, porridge, cold Argh! [Coughs.] This game is terrible! Oh, no! I'm a monster! What happened to you? I'm glad you asked! - See, it all started last season - You can just bullet-point it. There I was, jumping over the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle in order to get the hit cable television drama "Robot Chicken" renewed for another season. You risked your life for a TV show? Wow, you must have a huge financial stake in it. You'd think so! Anyway, I hit this jump perfectly but got blown into a million pieces. I was buried with honors, but that night, a thief came calling. [Thunder rumbles.] [Owl hoots.] [Title music.] [Thunder rumbles.] [Laughs.] [Whirring.] [Electricity crackles.] [Beeping.] Man: It's alive! [Thunder rumbles.] [Laughs.] [Man laughs.] And that's how Season 10 starts. I bet you're wondering how I escaped the castle. - Nah. - The CliffsNotes version is, I peed myself until they gave me bathroom privileges then I jumped out a window. In captivity, the only thing that kept me alive was the pure burning desire to see the young Han Solo movie. Was it great?! Well Han showers with Chewie. Lando probably [bleep.] a robot. And it bombed so hard, it killed the Boba Fett movie. - No! Not the Boba Fett movie! - Quiet! - No! - You're gonna get us in trouble. I need to know what happened in his teenage years! Shut the [bleep.] up! [Screams.] [Splash.] [Water bubbles.] Oh, shit. [Panting.] - You're done for, Shredder! - Stupid, turtles! You haven't seen my new secret weapon. Is that a straw from Starbucks? - How is that gonna - Aw! The [bleep.] ! I didn't believe it when I read it on Vice. com, but it's true. Plastic straws are harmful to turtles. [Music.] Dude, we gotta outlaw these straws. Actually, Mikey, straws make up [Music.] only a tiny fraction of plastic in the ocean. The key is to reduce all plastic waste if we're gonna [Screams.] You just got straw-dogged! You're out of tricks, Shredder! Nope, this is the last straw! [Laughs.] [Slurping.] Mmm! So much better than the sippy lid. Deadpool, last week, you had a pretty - advanced case of - Being charming? Self-aware? A depressingly fitting spokesman for 7-Eleven and alcoholic soft drinks? - Breaking the fourth wall. - It's getting really bad. The first draft of "Deadpool 3" is six hours long. This is how I remind you of what I really am Nickelback. 2001. Read a book. Mr. Underwood, any falling off the wagon this week? No, no, no. The state of the union is strong. Chloe means well, but her credentials are underwhelming. [Beeping.] Son of a bitch! I gotta run. - Uh, Mr. Robot? - She doesn't even know my name. Can you blame her? Names are a bullshit construct. There's a fourth wall on the ceiling? There's a fifth wall? - Jim - Who can you trust? This therapist whose Google drive is nothing but suicide-note drafts and hentai porn? Do you trust the workplace bully who will one day cause an autistic beet farmer to move out of state? No. Trust no one. [Bleep.] society! I had a nice week, Chloe. I don't even know what, uh, "hentai" is, - so, um, Jim? - Truth is, if you break the fourth wall long enough, eventually the fourth wall breaks you. Promise you'll donate my brain for research? - Jim, no! - No! [Gunshot.] Dibs on Pam! [Doorbell rings.] Our new roomie's here! LOL! I wonder what she'll be like. LOL. A clue. LOL. It's a picture of a donkey and prunes. Maybe, she's a fruit veterinarian. LOL! Or it's an ass that poops. I'm dead serious. LOL. A diaper! LOL! Hi! I'm Dumpster, from Series 7. L-O-L! [Farts.] - Called it! LOL. - Wait, what? We can cry, or pee, or burp up water, but poop?! No, that's crossing a line! It's just another bodily function. Series 7, bitches! - [All scream.] - [Laughs.] Just want to remind you, I called it. LOL. Let's get a housekeeper. LOL. Narrator: In 2003, the world was robbed of Fred Rogers, but now he's back. [Robotic voice.] Won't you be my neighbor? Narrator: Netflix and Mister Roger's cryogenically preserved head are proud to present, "Mister RoboRogers' Neighborhood. " Hi, neighbor. How are you today? [Doorbell rings.] Mr. McFeely: Speedy delivery! Mr. McFeely, I was not expecting a package. It's a special surprise. It likes to walk on the ground and swim in the water. It is a turtle. [Turtle squeaks.] Uh yes, it certainly was. [Objects crash.] Thank you for the turtle box, Mailman McFeely. [Bones crack.] [Screams.] I'll be going now! [Trolley dings.] Hello, trolley. How are you? I'm am fine. Thank you for asking. [Trolley dings.] Yes, let's go to the land of Make-Believe. Oh, Daniel, do you need a hug? That would be nice. Daniel, give Lady Aberlin a hug. Meow-meow! Hugs are nice. It is such a good feeling to know happy f-f-f-f-f-f-f [Voice distorts.] Destroy! Dest [Music.] Let's keep goin', Thelma. [Engine revs, tires squeal.] No, Thelma & Louise! [Music.] [Both laugh.] Wow! Goodbye, Thelma! Goodbye, & Louise! [Missile whoosh.] [Boom.] Ohh, no! Popeye, other Popeye characters, we're really excited about updating you for Gen-Z. But we've got what's called universkal appeal. - Ah-ka-ka-ka-ka! - Wrong! For example, your spinach is so two thousand and late. You wantsk me to eatsk something trendy, - like kale? - Nah, our research shows the thing Gen-Z'ers like best is eating [bleep.] . - Therefore, you will eat [bleep.] . - Well, blow me down! [Laughs.] I think I like being kid-friendly, if it means Popeye's got to eat [bleep.] ! Bluto and/or Brutus whatever your name is today - you're an old-fashioned bully. - Yeah, yeah, I get it you want me to be a cyberbully, right? - I read the papers. I can read. - No, no, no, even better - you will be a bully who eats [bleep.] . - Oh, dear! Olive Oil, Instagram is going to love your thigh gap. And when they ask you how you stay so thin, - you'll tell them - By eating a [bleep.] . Speaking of eating, is this meeting catered? If not, I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. No, no, no, no, no, bro. The old Wimpy ate hamburgers. - The new Wimpy? - Yeah, I get it. [Clears throat.] I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a rimjob today. Atta boy, sport. I'm strong to the finishk, 'cause I eatsk [bleep.] ! This really speaks to me. [Silent growling.] [Dramatic music.] [Whispering.] Don't make a sound. [Glass shatters.] Ohh, did I do that? [Screams.] [Screaming continues.] Jim Whoa, my Tamagotchi needs food, or it's gonna die. I'm gonna keep mine alive forever. [Beeping.] Your plan has worked perfectly, Tamagotchi Alpha. Indoctrinating the youth of Earth to feed us and clean our poop is brilliant. [Both laugh.] Oh, I'm bored of Tamagotchi. More like Toma-ain't-got-shit- on these-moon-shoes! You failed to take into account the Earthling short attentions spans. - We must stop pooping! - I cannot stop pooping! Who will clean up all this pooping? Welcome to ovulentation. [Chuckles.] We have fun. Now, then, a handmaid is obedient, silent, and always DTF. Ah, our new handmaid is here. Dun-dun-na-na! What the [bleep.] is this? Did I ask for a God damn free hat? What kinda Quaker Oats ass whorehouse bullshit is this? Young lady, here at Gilead, you raise your hand before speaking. I repeat What the [bleep.] is this hat? New girl, shh. - Aaaah! - Raise your hand or lose a finger. I hope that wasn't your butthole finger. My what? Ohh! Owww! Damn, bitch, they're simple instructions. Now, then, ladies, you have been blessed - with the gift of fertility. - I'm so fertile, I'm practically God damn handicapped. I had to get an Amazon subscription - for coat hangers. - Shh! Ow! Once a month, you will lay with your commander and his wife for a conception ceremony. Do you mean we have to have sex with them? Room, board, and free dick? Up top. - That's enough. - I don't see your hand up. - Ofdylan, silence. - Wait, I know our names are "of" whatever the hell chode pork stuffs our potent-ass vaginas, but Dylan? If I wanted to [bleep.] slam a Dylan, I would go to middle-school detention. You will honor your commander. Commander Dylan? Were Chase and Tyler taken? Show me an adult man named Dylan. You [bleep.] can't. They're all in prison for DUls by the time they're 19. I-I'm not sure how you know so much of Commander Dylan's difficult past, but I ain't no "of" Dylan. But I have been of your daddy. - I'll have your eye for that! - She'll totally do it. - Come on then! - Where did that come from? My cream crepe, you dumb bitch. And you don't wanna know what's up my puddin' pocket. [Music.] Aah! Ha-ha-ha! Look at me now, bitch. - Here you go, iCarly. - Bitch Puddin'. That was amazing. Thanks, Off-White. Now bring me Dylan and a coat hanger. Your new queen ain't gonna [bleep.] herself! I was made for dystopia. Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk - Ba-gawk! - Bawk.