Doom-mates

Transcript

 *  (The episode starts with an exterior shot of the T.U.F.F. headquarters) 
 * Kitty Katswell: "Okay Agent Puppy, we'll start today's training in the T.U.F.F. Headquarters' secret weapons room."
 * Dudley Puppy: "Awesome!" (runs to kitchen area and grabs toaster) "What's this?" (holds toaster to eyes)
 * Kitty: (annoyed) "It's called a toaster."
 * Dudley: "So it toasts bad guys."
 * Kitty: (annoyed) "No, it toasts bagels."
 * (Dudley picks up a green ball with two razor sharp blades, from an open yellow briefcase)
 * Dudley: "Cooool! What does this do to bagels?" (holds object)
 * Kitty: "Whoa, whoa, careful. That's a laser boomerang. Rule number one: Never use a weapon without first reading the manual." (points to laser boomerang manual in hand)
 * Dudley: (disregards Kitty and throws boomerang) "Ha-ha!"
 * (loud explosion and screams; a hole is blasted through the wall; thick, black smoke fumes from the hole and then disappears. Kitty and Dudley pop their heads through the hole to take a look)
 * (the boomerang with its weapons engaged wreaks havoc on T.U.F.F. headquarters, firing lasers and throwing grenades; agents flee in panic)
 * The Chief: "Everybody run for your lives!! And don't forget to get your parking validated on the way out!" (hit by laser)
 * (chicken agent puts parking slip on Sally Mander's desk)
 * Sally Mander: "I can only give you two hours." (stamps slip)
 * (laserbeam slices Kitty's whiskers off)
 * Kitty: "Uh-oh! No whiskers, no balance!" (tries to balance herself, but falls)
 * (boomerang retracts its weapons and returns to Dudley)
 * Kitty: "You lunatic! You destroyed HQ!" (zooms out to show destruction)
 * Dudley: (defensive) "Not totally. We still have that window." (points to window; window is broken by a rock that hits Kitty and lands in Dudley's hand) "I mean, we still have this rock." (sniffs) "Hey, there's a note tied to it." (opens note and reads) '"Dearest Kitty, you ruined my life by putting me in prison. But I've escaped and I'm going to make you pay. Kindest regards, the... Cham-ah-lee-on. Who's the Cham-ah-lee-on?"
 * Keswick: *emerging from rubble* "Uh, it's pronounced "kah-mee-lee-un". He's a criminal genius and a.. ma.. ma.. ma.. master of disguise."
 * The Chief: "But how did he escape from jail? Keswick, bring up the Petropolis prison cam."
 * (monitor screen from the ceiling is lowered, on screen: an empty cell with a pipe organ and a light bulb inside)
 * Rabbit Prison Guard: "Oh no! The Cham-ah-lee-on has escaped!" (slides jail cell door open)
 * Turtle Prison Guard: "Hey! It's pronounced "kah-mee-lee-un"!"
 * Dudley: (watching screen) "Duh! He's disguised as the pipe organ! Thank you."
 * The Chief: "No! Every cell has a pipe organ, but not every cell has a light bulb!" (points at bulb on screen)
 * (guards run off, light bulb flickers and transforms into a chameleon-shaped silhouette)
 * The Chameleon: "FOOLS! There isn't a maximum security prison, or pet store that can hold me." (looks at prison cam) "I'm coming for you, Kitty!" (sees worm) "Oooh, mealworm!" (seizes it with tongue)
 * (prison cam then dies, turning screen to static)
 * The Chief: "With The Chameleon on the loose, Kitty is in terrible danger. Dudley, as the only T.U.F.F. agent not buried under smoldering rubble, I assign you to protect her." (points at Dudley)
 * Kitty: (confident) "What? No way, Chief, I can take care of myself." (falls)
 * Keswick: "Careful, Agent Puppy. The Chameleon wears a molecular transformation suit that enables him to disguise himself as a..a..a..a.. anything."
 * Dudley: "So you're saying he could be anyone in this room Keswick. Or should I call you THE CHAMELEON?!?" (points at Keswick, grabs Kitty and whacks Keswick in the head with her)
 * The Chief: "You dodo! That really is Keswick!"
 * Dudley: "Sorry Chief. Or should I call you THE CHAMELEON?!?" (whacks the Chief with Kitty)
 * Kitty: (frees herself) "Stop using me to hit people Dudley! Or should I call you THE IDIOT?!?" (whacks Dudley in the head with her fist)
 * (Dudley growls; Kitty and Dudley slap each other and fight in a cloud of violence)
 * The Chief: "ENOUGH! Agent Puppy, take Kitty back to her place and keep her safe. We'll sift through the rubble and look for her whiskers."
 * Dudley: "On it, Chief! To the T.U.F.F. mobileee!  (grabs Kitty and jumps down chute, landing in T.U.F.F. mobile) "You're safe with me Kitty."
 * The Chameleon: "Well, if, by safe, you mean doomed, then I agree!" (lights dim and car shapeshifts into The Chameleon)
 * Kitty: "It's The Chameleon!"
 * The Chameleon: "Right you are, Agent Katswell. And now it's payback time!"
 * Dudley: (looks at The Chameleon's crooked eyes) "Dude, I'm sorry but what is up with your eyes?!? They're freaking me out!
 * (The Chameleon shoots his tongue at Kitty, but ends up hitting himself with bricks. Dudley and Kitty hop into the real T.U.F.F. mobile)
 * The Chameleon: (angry) "Grrr.."
 * Dudley: "Hang on Kitty, I'm backing out! (shifts vehicle into gear but ends up driving forwards through the wall, running over The Chameleon in the process, instead of backing out) "Probably should have read the manual."
 *  (Scene switches to Kitty's apartment at night; Dudley carries Kitty inside and sets her down) 
 * Kitty: (angry) "Grrr.. huh?" (loses balance) "Still no whiskers! Aaagh!" (falls into vase upside-down and struggles to free herself but fails)
 * Dudley: (pats vase) "That's right, you relax while I use my canine senses to look for signs of The Chameleooooonnnn. (eyes narrow; Dudley starts sniffing around, wrecking Kitty's apartment in the process)
 * Kitty: (already free, catches cat vase) "Will you be careful? I just had this place redecorated."
 * Dudley: "Oh, really? Did your redecorating include this ceramic CHAMELEON?!? (destroys ceramic chameleon with laser blaster)
 * Kitty: (irritated) "Yes it did."
 * Dudley: "I liked it. It really brightened up the room." (searches for The Chameleon) "Now listen up Chameleon! I know you're in here... disguised as something and I'm gonna find you if I have to blow up everything Kitty owns. Starting with that... really expensive-looking vase!" (blasts vase into pieces, then blasts photo album) "Take that, irreplaceable photo album of Kitty's precious childhood memories!"
 * Kitty: (grabs Dudley's legs) "Stop it! You numbskull, this place has a high-tech security system." (flicks switch to reveal laser security grid) "There's no way the Chameleon could get in here unless someone was stupid enough to open a window!" (window is opened)
 * Dudley: (sweating) "Man, it's hot in here." (Kitty's eyes narrow in anger)
 * (red alert, alarm bell rings; The Chameleon disguised as a fly sneaks through the window)
 * The Chameleon: (laughing, transforms into normal form) "It is I, The Cham-ah-lee-on! Oh drat, I mean "The Chameleon"!"
 * Dudley: (whispers to Kitty) "Is he talking to us? I can't tell. One eye's looking at the floor and the other's just freaking me out."
 * Kitty: "Just blast him!" (The Chameleon seizes Dudley's blaster with his tongue)
 * The Chameleon: (with blaster in mouth) "Kitty Katswell, feel my wrath!"
 * Dudley: ""Billy Batswell, peel my rat!"?"
 * The Chameleon: (annoyed) "I said "Kitty Katswell, feel my wrath!"!" (shoots tongue at Kitty, capturing her)
 * Dudley: "Okay, now that makes sense. See?" (realizes Kitty is gone)
 * (The Chameleon tries to escape with Kitty, but Dudley grabs his tail)
 * Dudley: "Bad move, dude. I'm part Boxer. Now let her go!" (pulls his tail and puppy punches him; Chameleon flies out of the window with Kitty still held captive) "Probably should have waited till he let her gooo..."
 * Kitty: (somehow freeing herself, she manages to climb up inside) "That's it. I've had it. I want you out of my apartment, right now!"
 * Dudley: "Okay, have it your way, Kitty. Or should I say, ""...THE CHAMELEON."?!?"
 * Kitty: "Oh, come on!" (blasts Kitty)
 * Dudley: (smells) "Eww. Burned cat. Not The Chameleon." (Kitty presses trap door button; Dudley falls into chute)
 * Kitty: "Finally He's gone."
 * Fake Dudley (The Chameleon disguised): (via front door cam) "Kitty, I'm back!"
 * Kitty: (annoyed) "Note to self: Install spikes at bottom of chute." (presses button; lasers and cannons appear at front door, aimed at Fake Dudley)
 * Fake Dudley: "Okay. I get it. You're still mad. I just came back to say "I'm sorry.". You're my partner... and I was just trying to protect you. (gasp) Please, give me another chance!" (crying) "Pleaseeeee!" (more crying)
 * Kitty: (opens door, sighs) "Okay. One more chance. But if you break anything else, I'll break your neck. Got it, Dudley?"
 * Fake Dudley: "Or should you say, (in the Chameleon's voice) "...THE CHAM-AH-LEE-ON?"?" (transforms into Chameleon)
 * The Chameleon: "Oh, darn it! You know what I mean! I have you, now, Kitty Katswell." (The Chameleon kidnaps Kitty)
 *  (outside the apartment, in the streets of Petropolis) 
 * Dudley: (falls from pipes into litter box) "Boy, I really feel bad about wrecking Kitty's place. But the important thing is that she's safe!"
 * (bouncing down the street The Chameleon hauls Kitty away, disguised as a pogo stick)
 * Dudley: "Hey, it's Kitty on a pogo stick!"
 * Kitty: (frees her mouth from The Chameleon's tongue) "It's The Chameleon, you idiot!"
 * Dudley: "Oh, no! It's The Chameleon on a pogo stick! Hang on!" (rushes to T.U.F.F. mobile and tries unlocking it with remote control keys; instead, it takes off into the air and the exhaust burns Dudley) "Really should have read the manual."
 * (scene changes to morning; The Chameleon's suburban rock lair. Kitty is tied to a chair)
 * The Chameleon: (eating bug) "Welcome to my top-secret hideout Kitty, where no one can hear you scream!"(laughs) "Except Mrs. Ungerman next door, but she's at pilates 'til five." (pulls switch, trapping Kitty in glass dome with a cat-shaped bomb inside) "Behold, my Cat Atomic Bomb! It's designed to blow up not once, but nine times! Once for each of your Kitty lives! Ehehehehehehe! It's clever. Hehehe."
 * Kitty: "You'll never get away with this, Chameleon. Or should I say "...CHAMELEON!"?!? Oh, great. Now Dudley's got me doing it."
 * The Chameleon: "Time to destroy you, but, first, to put on my blast-resistant goggles. Hehe." (puts them on, but his eyes are too far-spaced apart) "Oh, these are no help at all. Well, bombs away!" (triggers plunger detonator; bomb explodes) "One..."
 * Kitty: (thrown back against the dome's walls) "Ow."
 * The Chameleon: (triggers detonator again) "Two..."
 * Kitty: (burnt) "Ow."
 * The Chameleon: (and again) "Three..."
 * Kitty: (burnt even more) "Ow."
 * The Chameleon: "Ladybug!" (shoots tongue at ladybug)
 * (scene changes to Dudley in the neighborhood's vicinity, looking for The Chameleon)
 * Dudley: (sniffing around) "My bloodhound nose tells me The Chameleon is around here somewhere." (camera pans around houses) "But which one of these houses could possibly be his?" (camera stops at rock house; an explosion can be heard)
 * The Chameleon: (disembodied voice) "Eight..."
 * Kitty: (disembodied voice) "Ow!"
 * Dudley: (smells) "Burned cat. Hang on Kitty!" (digs into ground)
 * (back in The Chameleon's lair)
 * The Chameleon: "You are about to lose your ninth life, Kitty! Hehehehe! And I get to watch from two angles!"
 * Voice: "Not if I can help it!" (Dudley appears after jumping down hole he dug) "You're goin' down, Chameleon!" (attacks hat rack)
 * Kitty: (very burnt) "Dudley, that's the hat rack. He's over here!"
 * Dudley: (ashamed) "I knew that. I knew it." (takes out laser boomerang and throws it at The Chameleon)
 * The Chameleon: "You'll never stop me!" (boomerang whizzes past him, releasing a bear trap loaded with a silverfish) "Oooh, silverfish!" (shoots tongue; ensnared by trap)
 * (Dudley pulls the lever and frees Kitty from the glass dome, then dumps the Chameleon there instead, trapping him)
 * The Chameleon: "No!"
 * (Dudley and Kitty are standing besides the detonator)
 * Dudley: "How awesome was that?" (leans and accidentally triggers the detonator, blowing the Chameleon up) "Oops. Didn't mean to do that."
 * Kitty: "Yeah, we have to be careful." (Dudley and Kitty glance at each other, with an idea) (pretending) "Oh, no, my whiskers are still gone!"
 * Dudley: (pretending) "Oh no, don't fall on the bomb dee-toh-nay-tor."
 * (Kitty pretends to accidentally blow the Chameleon up)
 * The Chameleon: (messed-up) "I will now defeat you, by turning into a pile of smoldering goo!" (shapeshifts with a fart noise) "Feeeaar meeeee...!"
 * Kitty: "Thanks for saving me Dudley."
 * Dudley: "No problemo. I would've been here sooner but I stopped to read the BOOMERANG MANUAL. (points to manual)
 * Kitty: "That's the manual for the fax machine."
 * Dudley: (looks up) "Then we better run." (laser boomerang whizzes, with weapons aimed at them)
 * (They run out of The Chameleon's lair and into the streets, but are chased by the laser boomerang which continues to cause destruction)
 * (ending gag with Dudley and Kitty striking a pose)
 * THE END