The Warrior in the Wuss

DOUG: So, when I called in sick this morning, I hung upside down in gravity boots (chuckles) so my voice sound all nasally.

For me, it's all about the setup the day before.

A well-planted cough here, the sneeze there.

My boss wound up telling me to stay home.

(chuckles)

Dude, we are so set.

BEN: Hey, slow down. I don't want to end up with a broken leg which I can't explain.

Ah, damn it! Whoa!

Hold up! I'm caught on a branch or something.

What?

(screaming)

Help, Doug! Help me!

I think I really am going to be sick.

(yells)

Help me!

SAROYAN: Dr. Hodgins...

Yeah? Help, please.

Oh, wow. (chuckles)

This just came for you, whatever it is.

Oh, my God.

It's my evaporator.

God, it looks beautiful, doesn't it?

It looks expensive.

Yeah, well, nothing but the best for the Justice League.

You've been buying a lot of toys lately.

These are the latest in high-tech scientific equipment.

I mean, look at this: I just used the variable thermostatic incubator to hatch a chlamydosaurus.

You have a budget, Dr. Hodgins, which I oversee.

Do these things fall within that budget?

Oh, come on.

What business doesn't operate on credit?

Ours-- and your department is tapped out.

Well, hey, I mean, there's just one more thing.

(cell phone rings) I saw this TEC-Cooled...

This is Dr. Saroyan.

Of course I can spare him.

They're going to text you the location.

And start thinking about which machines you're sending back.

What? No. Wait, I can't get rid of any of these.

These are like my children.

Make the choice or I'll make it for you.

(sighs)

I love you.

You know, I would buy them myself, but it is against Jeffersonian policy.

Really not that interested, Hodgins.

Let's just focus on the work, all right, buddy?

Victim is male, judging by a heart-shaped pelvic inlet.

BOOTH: Right. Not to mention his oversized wedding ring right there on the left hand.

Can we hurry this up, Bones?

Do you have another murder I don't know about?

Booth's son is coming back from England today.

His plane lands at 11:00.

HODGINS: Oh, right. Parker's been gone for a while, right?

BOOTH: Actually, four months, okay?

Hope he's not calling soccer football.

Parker's very excited to meet his new sister.

I can imagine.

And a new house, a new room.

I bet he gets to buy a new toy every now and then.

Enough.

Right. Okay.

Given the size of this blowfly larvae, I'd say our victim died three days ago.

Great! Perfect!

Let's just bag this puppy up and get it back to Jeffersonian.

I don't want to leave Parker stranded at the air...

We're still missing the victim's head, Booth.

You really need that?

Right, okay.

That was a bad question. Okay?

I'll tell you what. You look over there and I'll look over here.

We have to be methodical.

Skull retrieval requires the use of physics, anatomy, and the careful reading of geological terrain.

Ah, that sounds like it's going to take a long time.

And I gotta... Since the head is commonly the first to dislodge during decomp, it could have washed down the hill during last night's rain.

These rivulets from the downpour probably acted as troughs.

Great, okay. So it's somewhere down there. Let's go.

To the untrained eye, yes, but I can actually analyze the viscosity of the mud...

And factor in the orifices in the human head that can catch or snag on debris and alter its course. See, when you're an expert, you can actually see the trajectory...

Guys, you know what? It's taking too long.

All right, I don't know why you make such a big deal about...

(screaming)

Oh! (grunts)

Ooh, ah!

(panting)

Hey, you found me.

Well, we found it. (chuckles)

Hey, can we go to the airport now? Huh?

♪ Bones 7x10 ♪ The Warrior in the Wuss Original Air Date on April 23, 2012

♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method

♪

BOOTH: I'm so glad you're back, buddy.

And so is Christine.

She's so little.

Yeah. Oh, I think she's smiling at you.

PARKER: You think?

Yeah.

So, what do you think of your room, bud?

It's just like your old one. -Awesome.

(fussing)

I think you should take her. Right.

Yeah. Okay. Easy.

I don't want her to hate me.

She's not going to hate you. You're her big brother.

Come on, huh?

It's all right.

What do you think of that?

I got the old RC truck out. Found it.

You think it still works? Of course it does.

Me and Christine, we put some batteries in it this morning.

And we took it for a few laps.

Listen, Bones had to go to the lab, and, so maybe later, you, me, and Christine-- we can make spaghetti meatballs, huh?

Christine can't really do the things you say, Dad.

I know, buddy.

We're all just really happy that you're back.

(Christine coos)

You like her.

I love her.

Just like I love you.

Okay?

Okay? Look at that.

Can I just lie down? I'm tired.

Sure, yeah, um...

Yeah, it's probably just jet lag, right?

Before you know it, you'll be back on American time, right?

Hey, buddy.

I'm really glad you're back.

See ya.

(door locks)

The stomach and the pyloric sphincter are intact, so there's a good chance I'll get a look at this guy's last meal. Yummy.

Pulp cavity depth on the maxillary central incisor gives us an approximate age of 26 to 36 years old.

Yeah, didn't Parker get here today?

Yeah, just a couple of hours ago.

How did it go with him and Christine?

Christine met him at the airport with us.

Parker hugged her and she spit up on him, but Parker didn't seem to care.

So, you think it's working out?

Yes, why wouldn't it?

Well, as an anthropologist, you know that every culture has stories about the dangers of having stepchildren.

Cinderella. Exactly.

Sibling rivalry is a common and necessary sociological imperative.

Since it is, it doesn't concern me any more than the discomfort of childbirth.

Your attitude is very impressive.

Of course it is.

There's a perimortem wound on the victim's right ischial spine.

Well, it is consistent with a stabbing injury.

If the external iliac artery was severed when he was stabbed, that could give us cause of death.

Your equipment costs millions.

Hey, I haven't been allowed to upgrade my system all year.

But we are still best.

Yeah, but you haven't gotten a hit on your facial reconstruction yet.

Well, nothing over a 20% match.

All I'm saying is there's probably a piece of equipment that could help.

Or he has no record or driver's license, or anyone who reported him missing.

Hey.

Whose side are you on?

I'm just saying that sometimes you can go a little overboard.

What's that supposed to mean?

The motion sensors in our bedroom that control the blinds?

When we have s*x, they open and close and open and close.

EDISON (chuckling): Okay.

Sorry. I didn't mean to listen to that.

I just happened to be here and my ears opened...

Cut to the chase, Clark. Right!

Okay, listen, I think I know why you can't get a hit.

We've got the victim listed at 5".

Yeah, because that's what you told me.

I know, but that's before I discovered his pump bump and his mallet toe.

That doesn't sound good.

EDISON: Well, markers on his right distal interphalangeal joints and calcaneus-- now, usually that's associated with women who wear heels, but they're also found in men who wear lifts.

So try listing his height at 5'8".

(beeps) MONTENEGRO: Oh, that did it.

HODGINS: Tony Cole.

Hey, look, reported missing by his wife.

Talk about issues.

This guy lies about his height on his driver's license.

Lucky you knew about the lifts, Clark.

Oh, don't get snotty, Ms. Montenegro.

I could tell this whole lab about your blinds.

Open, close. Open, close.

(chuckling)

So, when was the last time you heard from your husband, Mrs. Cole?

Last Friday.

Tony sent me a text after work.

It said, "Don't hold dinner. I'm going to be late."

Was it typical for him to stay out late?

No, he was always home with his family.

He helped my son with his homework every night.

He practiced karate with him on the weekends.

He was a good man.

We're not saying he wasn't a good man.

We're just trying to understand what happened that night.

SWEETS: Did you notice any unusual behavior?

Was he under stress?

Tony's work was really getting to him.

He owned, uh... a Spark & Steel truck.

And this new guy, uh... Karl something was horning in on his territory.

Tony said he was just awful.

Awful how?

He would make fun of how short he is, to intimidate him.

SWEETS: Um, so your husband was self-conscious about his height.

We noticed he wore lifts.

Tony took enough grief in school to last a lifetime.

And now this jerk is trying to take his route too.

I mean, that would stress out anybody, wouldn't it?

(sniffles)

Would you, um, know where we could find this Karl?

Well, it shouldn't be hard.

Just check with the Spark & Steel Company.

Spark & Steel, right.

Are you in a hurry?

Yes, I am.

My son's coming home from a weeklong class trip, and I have to find a way to tell him that his father's dead.

I examined the cleaned ischial spine and I found more than we bargained for.

HODGINS: Yeah, that looks like the typical weapon.

It was lodged deep in the bone.

SAROYAN: If the victim was stabbed in a front-facing attack, we should be able to figure out the length of the weapon.

At least seven inches long.

That would definitely have severed the right common and external iliac arteries.

You found cause of death, dude.

That I did, bro.

Can you determine what the metal is? HODGINS: Sure.

Yeah, I will use my new mass spec, which I intend to keep.

That'll narrow down... it'll determine, you know, the tensile strength, and I can also use it to narrow down what he was stabbed with.

What?

BOOTH: Right, okay. Just call when you find out the tool truck's next stop. Thanks.

They should have the guy's route.

So, he should be close by.

I think when we get home, we should do something together as a family since Parker's home now. Great, great.

I'd love that idea. Like what?

Well, there's a wooded area behind the house.

Yeah.

I thought we could search for carrion and rearticulate their skeletons.

You know, a family project.

Really, but what do you do with them?

We could mount them and then hang them up as decoration.

Or we could just have dinner together.

Maybe the place with the bottomless bowl of breadsticks.

Everybody loves breadsticks.

I thought a project might bring us together as a family, and might help make the adjustment easier for Parker.

Wait. What do you mean, adjustment? Parker's fine.

Since siblings can develop acrimonious rivalries.

I know, I appreciate the thought.

I really do, Bones.

But I really don't think playing with dead animals is going to make things all that better.

If you think breadsticks are enough...

Garlic ones? Yeah... (phone rings)

Geez.

Booth.

Okay, that's great.

We're about, uh, two minutes away. Thanks.

Guy's truck is about a half mile from here. We're good.

And Bones, listen, thanks for worrying about Parker.

(laughing)

Judging by the size of the crowd, it seems a very lucrative business.

Spark & Steel specializes in high-end tools.

A truck like this would give him a nice income.

Extra nice if they added a route.

So there I was, about 20 minutes left, all right?

I hadn't caught so much as a guppy all day long.

Karl Singler. FBI.

Save that whopper story for later.

Okay, let's go. Clear out, guys. Come on. Get back to work.

BRENNAN: Excuse us. Thank you.

I don't know what this is about, but I don't lie about fishing.

I got this belt from winning the Trout Classic.

What'd you get yours for?

To hold my pants up.

We have some questions about Tony Cole.

What about him? Little guy get himself into some trouble?

No, he went and got himself murdered.

Rumor has it you wanted him out of your way.

W-W-Wait. T-that's just not true.

You're trying to steal his route, weren't you?

Well, I mean, look, the economy's not so great right now.

So, we were competing for clients, yeah, but t-t-that doesn't mean murder.

Financial gain-- that's a good motive in my book.

Definitely.

Where were you last Friday?

Friday, I was, uh, I was at work all day.

And then night, I was playing poker, which I won.

I got witnesses, purchase orders...

We believe the victim was stabbed with a metal implement measuring at least seven inches.

Do you have any tools matching that description in your truck?

Metal, seven inches? What? Are you kidding?

No...

I got awls, picks, scribes, screwdrivers, hand saws, Swiss needle files, chisels, drill bits, hammers.

Knock yourselves out.

Wow.

SWEETS: Consider the victim's profile.

I mean, here's a guy who was bullied his entire life, right?

He's subjugated his own feelings of inadequacy by wearing lifts, choosing an overtly masculine profession.

Oh, okay, so he wanted to be a guy's guy.

I'm liking this so far. Keep going. Don't stop.

Okay, now commonly, that means that he wouldn't want to talk about his problems with any woman, even his wife.

Right, because it would make him look less like a man.

Yeah, I mean, I would have said that it was a gender role compliance advantage, but...

No one will understand what you're talking about, Sweets.

Okay, well, he was close with his son.

His wife said that he was helping his kid karate.

Probably didn't want him to get bullied the same that he did, which would explain this.

It's a police report filed the day before Tony was murdered.

He tried to instigate a fight.

With the karate teacher? Mm-hmm.

Why didn't you just lead with this?

I'm sorry.

But look who made the 911 call.

His son.

Batter up.

Time to get shrinky with the kid.

Hey, so the metal fragment is an alloy comprised of iron, chromium, nickel, molybdenum, and a just a pinch of carbon.

Ah, stainless steel.

That means it could be one of the tools that Booth and Dr. Brennan found.

Yeah, but the tensile strength wouldn't match.

I mean, we're looking for a knife with a relatively thin blade.

This could be a penknife.

I've never seen a seven-inch penknife.

All right, well, I'm going to keep working on it.

Dr. Hodgins.

Yeah?

I would really love to be able to give you all the equipment you desire.

But the Jeffersonian's suffering from cutbacks, just like every other government agency.

They've even cancelled the Founder's Day party.

What?!

There's always the Founder's Day party.

Not this year.

Who do these bozos think they are?

Don't they realize by, like, spending on a party, we're actually fueling the economy?

You know, creating demand for, like, booze and food, and a DJ.

I mean, come on!

This is simple Keynesian economics.

Sorry, no party.

God...

Don't you just hate the neoclassicists?

Come on!

What's this country coming to? Seriously.

SWEETS: Can you tell me why you called 911, Danny?

I got into a fight after school one day.

It was with my sensei's kid, Blake.

Mm-hmm.

It was my fault.

No, it wasn't. It was a misunderstanding.

(sighs) No.

I started it.

I thought that maybe if I could take Blake down, that Dad... finally, he would just...

You thought you could make him proud of you by showing him how tough you are.

Pretty dumb, huh?

I'm the one who got beat.

That must have made him angry.

I mean, he doesn't want you to have to go through what he did.

That's why he made me practice all the time.

I stunk at karate.

So, he took you, uh, with him when he went to talk to your karate teacher, right?

He just wanted to work things out.

He flipped out, Mom.

I mean, the sensei was so much bigger than him.

And Dad just kept yelling. It was so embarrassing.

That's why I called 911.

I didn't know what else to do.

I just wanted it to stop. Right.

And when they came home, did your husband talk to you at all about what happened, Ms. Cole?

No.

He didn't.

He was upset, but he... didn't like to talk.

Okay, what about you, Danny?

Did he talk to you at all?

The next morning, before my class trip, he said he wasn't done yet.

And that he'd keep fighting for me.

MONTENEGRO: Hey, you wanted to see me?

Yes, I was hoping you could help me with something.

MONTENEGRO: Oh, God, no, no.

I can't even look at that.

No, not this.

No, no, no, no, no...

Oh... wow.

Looks like the victim ate a lot of peanuts the night he died.

(sighs) Okay...

Um, could we just... move this along, please?

It's about Hodgins.

He seems to be dragging his feet, and I was hoping that you could help me get him to return some of his equipment.

Oh.

So you want me to use my position as his wife to manipulate him.

That's an ugly way of putting it.

No, no, I mean, that's the way it works.

I manipulate Hodgins all the time.

(chuckles)

Oh, great!

Uh, no. No can do.

See, there are only so many manipulations a wife has.

I don't want to waste one of mine on something like fiscal responsibilities at the Jeffersonian.

Oh, hey, wait.

Does this look like a worm to you or a sun-dried tomato?

(sighs) Beats me.

But that sounds like a job for one of Hodgins' new machines.

BOOTH: Hey, buddy, you here?

Just had a quick break.

Wanted to see if you wanted to grab a bite... or something.

Parker?

Parker? Great.

(sighs)

Dad? Yeah?

There you are.

Where were you?

What are you doing home?

I came by to see you, obviously, of course.

And I was going to pick up my gym bag.

I haven't seen it.

Right, of course you haven't seen... my gym bag.

Why would you... have seen my bag?

Where were you just now? Uh...

Nowhere. Just exploring the woods out back.

Out back exploring the woods.

Okay, well, why didn't you tell the babysitter where you were?

Because I'm not a baby. Christine's the baby.

(cell phone rings)

Booth.

I just had the pleasure of emptying the victim's stomach, and I found a very unusual, very nasty-looking worm.

I'm passing it on to Hodgins.

Great, I'm sure he's going to be really excited, so is there anything else, or is this just all about worms?

BRENNAN: Yes, a lot more.

Cam found points of compromised periosteum on the skeleton over the pelvis and lower extremities.

Bruising.

All right, so he was beaten up.

But it wasn't a one-sided fight.

Bruising suggests the victim actually got a few punches in.

Which couldn't have been easy.

Each bruise matrix has a highly localized point of impact.

He fought someone proficient in martial arts.

The karate teacher. I'll tell you what.

I'll come by and pick you up.

And we can see if his hands match the wounds and stuff.

I'll see you in 15.

Hey, buddy.

I need to get back to work, okay?

So, stay tight and I'll see you later on.

If you go anywhere, you tell the babysitter...

Right-- you tell the sitter where you're going to be, all right?

Yeah.

Okay.

BRENNAN: Because of the pattern of injury to the bone,

I agree Danny's sensei is an excellent suspect.

Do you think he'll let me measure his extremities?

Hmm?

Are you listening, Booth?

No. I mean, look.

Um... Parker lied to me today.

You know, he said he was out playing in the woods but, you know, the sneakers were clean, and there was nothing in his treads.

Maybe he cleaned his sneakers.

(sighs)

Bones, he's 11.

Also, he acted weird.

Why do you think he lied?

I don't know what to think.

You know, it's probably nothing.

You know what? The karate place is just up here.

(instructor yelling karate commands)

INSTRUCTOR: ...focusing on our chi.

(students grunting)

INSTRUCTOR: Excellent...

(chuckling)

This guy's a kung fu celebrity.

BRENNAN: It's not kung fu.

It's shotokan ryu. What?

It's a style of karate which itself means "empty hand."

Right, a lot of weapons there with that empty hand.

INSTRUCTOR: Ya-me!

I'm sorry. This is a private class reserved for black belts. FBI.

I have to ask you a few questions about Tony Cole.

He was murdered. Oh, my God.

Jiyu kumite!

I had no idea. That's terrible.

Cole came to you last week 'cause your two kids-- they got into a fight?

Yes, um, he was very upset.

And I didn't handle it as well as I should have; I raised my voice.

It might have sounded a little threatening.

That's it?

You didn't have at him?

That would never happen. Hmm.

What are you doing?

Examining your hands. Bones.

Please don't.

The whole point of what we do here is to make violence unnecessary.

BRENNAN: It's true.

One of tenets of the Bushido is "the fight avoided is the fight best fought."

Well, what if it can't be avoided?

All right, rumor is that Tony couldn't let it drop.

He came here last Thursday; I never saw him again.

Fine, then you wouldn't mind if Dr. Brennan here takes a mold of your hand and your feet, uh, so we can compare that to the injuries from the victim.

Actually, I would mind.

I have classes all day.

That's not necessary, Booth.

I can find all the measurements I need from this DVD.

Look at that. See you soon.

Sensei.

Ni rei.

He just ran through all 27 kata.

Fortunately, I was able to capture each strike surface as it was exposed.

And if we now compare, Sensei Sherman's strike point surfaces with the victim's bone bruises, for both size and shape.

Yeah, like a glass slipper, only for a fist.

I don't believe these two things are analogous.

Cut me some slack.

I've been reading Michael Vincent fairytales.

How's it going with Parker?

Booth is worried.

Parker spends a lot of time in his room, and when he goes out, he lies about where he's been.

Okay, well, I'd be worried, too.

But he looks at Christine with such affection.

Adolescents in many tribes are encouraged to develop independent lives when new siblings arrive.

Are they encouraged to lie?

Nothing matched up. Okay, so whoever did this was considerably smaller than the karate guy.

Like, a lot smaller.

Could we maybe be looking for a child?

It's possible if the child was adept at karate.

Maybe when Cole got nowhere with the sensei, he confronted the sensei's kid.

Dr. Hodgins, what on earth... Shh!

No vibrations.

What are you doing in my autopsy room?

What's it look like?

Performing an autopsy on a worm?

Yeah, the worm you found in the victim's stomach.

It's a Scyphophorous acupunctatus, known to discerning drunks as the common mescal worm.

So, that tells us our victim was drinking mescal.

What else do we need to know?

His origin. Ready.

After I rehydrate our visitor from the south, I plan on opening him up to see what his stomach contents are.

Needle.

I, of course, could accomplish the same thing in half the time with a new piece of technology from Sumner & Company, but I don't have the funds for it.

(clears throat)

Truth be told, I find this makes me feel closer to him.

I'm hoping our mescali friend gave his life so that we might avenge the life of our victim.

You're serious.

Would you care to assist?

It would make me feel a little less foolish.

What the hell.

♪ ♪

(panting): Okay.

Okay.

His death was not in vain.

I got what I needed.

You have dirt.

Oh, worms use their muscular pharynx to suck in soil.

They extract the nutrients and give the rest back. That's a nice way of saying worm turd.

Yeah, well, this little turd could turn out to be our Rosetta Stone.

(knocking)

BRENNAN: Parker?

It's Temperance; I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me and Christine?

Parker?

Parker, are you okay?

Hyah!

Oy!

Hyah.

So, which one of you is Blake?

Hyah!

Blake's a girl?

Ya-me.

Ya-sume.

Rest of the class, mokuso!

(sighs) How can I help you this time?

We'd like to ask your daughter a few questions.

Why?

We think she may have some information about Mr. Cole's death.

Yeah, we don't want to have to take you both into the FBI.

We think it would be much more comfortable to talk here.

So...

Blake.

Wow.

You, uh, seem to have won a lot of awards.

SHERMAN: She was a regional champion and a state finalist for the past three years.

I hope I can win state this year. So, Blake, were you aware that Danny's father was murdered last Friday?

Yes, it's so sad.

I'm very sorry.

Did you happen to see him that day?

Yeah, he stopped me on my way home from school.

Blake, why didn't you tell me about this?

I handled it. Sir, please, if we could ask the questions.

Uh, so why'd you strike him?

Mr. Cole didn't like it that I defended myself from his son Danny.

He thought I was the aggressor.

He said since my dad wasn't going to teach me the difference between right and wrong, he would.

Then you struck him. No.

I handled it according to code.

I said I felt threatened and to please leave me alone.

He wouldn't.

Wouldn't happened to have used any weapons from around here?

Knife or a penknife or anything?

I don't like your accusation.

Cole goaded her. He was a grown man.

The guy had issues.

He was having problems at work, clearly with his son. This isn't her fault.

Right, then it shouldn't be a problem for Blake here to clear that up.

Right, Blake?

I would never use a weapon.

I would have no need.

I merely struck Mr. Cole to disable him.

It was self-defense; I can prove it.

My friend Shana got the whole thing on her phone.

It's on WeTube now.

"Grown man in little girl beat-down."

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

(laughs)

That was awesome.

It was... it was... Sweets.

I'm sorry.

But it-it was.

Hey, Bones, I was just gonna call.

The sensei's kid didn't kill him.

Although, she could.

That's not why I'm here, Booth.

What's the problem?

We have to talk about Parker.

I know.

He-he's not acting like himself.

I-I'll take care of it. I was just at home, and I found some evidence in his room.

Evidence? Okay, Parker is my son.

He's not a suspect.

I take no pleasure in this, Booth.

The radio car the two of you built is destroyed.

He stole one of my lab coats and pictures, the... the one you like so much of Christine and me.

Yeah?

He took apart the frame, and the picture's missing.

I'm sorry, but... we have our daughter to think about too.

Okay, um, I just rarely get a chance to see him, and...

I'll take care of it.

All right, I will.

Okay.

I should get back to the lab to help determine what the weapon might be.

Bones, I-I got it, okay?

Okay.

(squishing)

Doesn't look like you found the weapon, Dr. Edison.

I've given us seven inches of simulated tissue, but I can't get any of the tips to break off into the bone substitute.

The blades need more resistance.

I know.

So, I reexamined the ischial spine, and I magnified the injury time 1,500; look.

The bone is scratched.

This looks like it was caused when the weapon was removed. I agree, but how could it be removed in that direction?

Well, the killer would have to stab the victim from the front, but pull the blade out from behind.

Which is impossible.

Yeah.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm asking myself the same thing.

You're preserving him.

I grew strangely attached to our little friend.

Please tell me he's spoken from beyond the grave.

Shouted to us, actually.

I did, however, use my new incubator and evaporator to get these results.

So you wouldn't have to return them.

Hey, if you feel that these results are ill-gotten gains, I respect the budgetary integrity of this institution, and I will just throw these away.

And since I'm your boss, I'm perfectly capable of throwing you away.

Good point.

Okay.

The contents of the worm's digestive tract contained trace elements of silver, bat guano, and a fungus known as Fusarium oxysporum.

Okay, I know what bat guano is.

Now, the fungus and other soil particulates tell us that our pequeño amigo hailed from Mexico's Jalisco region, more specifically, the southwest face of Cerro Negro, or black hill.

Your worm Spanish is excellent. Si.

Es muy bueno.

Now, one of the finest distilleries in all of Mexico, they harvest agave there, right?

Maguey del Sol, or the worm of the son.

While an interesting fact, you've got us in Mexico when our victim was killed in D.C.

Oh, no problemo, señorita.

There are only three bars in the area that are licensed to sell Maguey del Sol, and one is right on the victim's Spark & Steel sales route: Cantina Carreras.

Pretty good, huh?

Exactly how many of your new toys did you manage to use to come up with this?

All of them.

SWEETS: I don't understand why you needed me to come along.

I mean, there's no profiling involved.

You're just tracking down potential witnesses, right?

Oh, we're going to a bar, and since bartenders are shrinks of the food and beverage industry, I figure that you can translate that.

I'm not buying it.

You've got something on your mind.

(sighs) No, I don't.

Come on!

You always do this.

Do what? You make an excuse to get me alone so you can ask me something, and then you deny it, and then we have to do this stupid dance, and... I'm not gonna do it anymore, okay?

So just stop the car. What?

What part of "stop the car" is confusing to you?

What are you doing? (opens door) You know what?

If you don't have a problem, then you don't need me here tonight.

So I'm going.

Eh, put your seat belt on, will ya?

We're coming up on a red light.

Close the door! All right, all right, it's Parker!

It's Parker, okay?

That wasn't so hard, was it? All right, you know, really, the attitude is really not necessary.

Okay?

Ever since Parker got back, he's been locking himself up in his room.

You think it's because of Christine.

And that's normal, right?

I mean, everyone says so. Yeah, it is.

And since you know that, what's the problem?

Well, he's also been stealing things, and he's been lying, and he also... he smashed this toy that he and I built.

Now, who would do that? Look, he's a good kid.

Yeah, I don't think that's in doubt.

But Parker's behavior, it must make you angry.

What did, uh, what did he say when you talked to him about it?

I haven't yet. You have to talk to him.

I don't want him to feel like I'm ganging up on him, that's all.

You're not your father, Agent Booth.

I mean, it's okay for you to be angry at Parker.

You're a good dad.

You'll... figure it out.

You know how to handle it.

This'll turn out a lot better than you think.

Okay? Next time, let's just cut the dance, please.

For the record, I didn't need this talk, just so you know.

I just wanted you to feel useful.

Pull over.

Pull over. Pull over. No. We're on a case.

Excuse me. FBI. Special Agent Booth.

This here is Dr. Sweets, my colleague.

Cops. How can I help you?

Well, we're here to ask you a few questions.

Ever see this guy before? That's Tiny Cole.

What'd he do, kill someone?

He was murdered.

That's rough. Poor little guy.

Well, you don't seem too surprised. I'm not surprised.

About a week ago, Cole came in.

Nothing was going right for him; I could tell he needed a little something to make the world look a little better, so I gave him the best I got.

Right. Maguey del Sol, right? Must've been into his third drink when it started.

Everyone in the place was laughing, pointing at Tony.

What were they laughing at? A video of Tony getting beat up by this little girl on their phone.

A lot of them were his customers, so he flipped.

Started threatening everyone, but that just made them laugh harder.

Short guy, teased and bullied his whole life, that kind of humiliation, he'd do anything to make them stop laughing.

Looks like he did something that got him killed.

Blake's friend posted the video on WeTube, but she didn't make it go viral.

There was minimal activity at first.

Just some kids passing it around the school.

But then at 5:23 p.m., we have the first viewing away from the school.

Within five minutes of that viewing, the lights start to spread, and then you have activity everywhere.

Hey, that looks like it could be the bar where Cole was last seen alive.

Yeah.

That was caused by our active inducer.

And then it just spread like wildfire.

Now, can you get an I.D. of the inducer?

Uh, I can only pinpoint a location.

(beeping)

Can we cross-reference that point with our suspects' addresses? Yeah.

Hey, Karl Singler.

Isn't that...? That's the guy that was trying to steal Cole's customers.

BOOTH: Karl Singler spread it to every one of Tony Cole's customers.

Why?

Why? Well, because he wanted to humiliate him, make him feel like a loser.

If he does that, then Singler has a chance to steal his customers.

We still don't have any physical evidence to tie him to the crime. We got nothing?

We have to determine a weapon.

It appears as if he was stabbed from the front, but the knife was removed from behind.

That's impossible, Bones. Hence our problem providing you with the evidence you need.

Right.

Are you upset, Booth?

(sets object down)

Yeah, it's a Parker thing.

You know, we have... (clears throat)

We need to talk to him together.

We? Yeah, we.

Together, you know, as a family, we need to... attack this problem head-on and talk to him.

If we have problem, we have to do this together.

Fish sandwich for you.

Veggie burger for you. Thank you.

WAITRESS: Enjoy it.

Fish sandwich? And a veggie burger-- yes, I know.

The fish! It's the fish that killed him!

You can't stab someone with a fish, Booth.

The weapon, it was a fishing blade on one of those multitool knives.

The front tip of it curves back, right?

So he wasn't stabbed in the front.

He was stabbed from behind.

So the tip-- it breaks off when he pulls it out. That would also explain the scraping from front to back.

And Karl Singler is a fisherman.

Hey, Karl. How's business?

Again?

This is harassment.

May I see the multitool on your belt?

Yeah.

Get yourself a warrant. That fast enough for you?

Right there. Mm-hmm.

BOOTH: Ha-ha!

Hand it over. Let's go.

Be careful with that.

I won it.

BOOTH: That's it.

That's the curved blade.

BRENNAN: The tip is intact.

The blade looks new. Yeah, I replaced it last year. You satisfied?

Hmm-mm. No.

There's blood in the gears.

You replaced the blade because the tip broke off?

Why didn't you just throw out the knife?

Why? Because it's his trophy. Right?

But now it's evidence.

Right?

Okay, look, it was self-defense, all right?

That little b*st*rd attacked me because he couldn't take a joke.

So you stabbed him in the back? Come on!

That's not self-defense.

That's picking on a little guy.

You're under arrest. (grunting)

(grunts)

♪ ♪

(mariachi music playing)

(Montenegro laughs)

Are you people drinking?

Yes, we are.

But y... Have one.

It's not allowed. You know that.

Dr. Hodgins brewed an exceptional artisanal tequila.

Hey, the rotary evaporator makes a brilliant still.

And I don't know how he makes guacamole in that centrifuge, but this is the best I've ever had.

You just... you got to slice the onions with the laser first.

Have the decency to hide this from your boss.

I thought that we should have our own Founder's Day party.

Without costing the Jeffersonian any more money.

I suppose you're not taking into consideration how much that evaporator costs.

(chuckles) Just... try one.

MONTENEGRO: You know, you're off the clock, Cam.

Just be bad.

It's worth it. Take a whiff.

HODGINS: Come on. I got the idea from our little wormy friend there.

Just drink.

One toast to our wormy friend.

He solved the case.

Come on.

Damn, that's good!

Yes!

EDISON: I think it's an excellent use of the Jeffersonian's facility and equipment.

Thank you. Do I want to know where you got the agave to make this?

Uh, that's... locally sourced.

How locally?

You just don't want to take a stroll through the "Mexican Succulents" exhibit anytime soon, 'cause it's just... it's a little sparse.

There are so many things wrong here, I don't even know how I'm gonna deal with this.

HODGINS: Well, I'll tell you what.

I think we'll just give you a little bit more of this to help you think, what do you say?

(soft gasp): Just a little bit.

(laughs) HODGINS: Ladies and gentlemen, to the Founders.

To the Founders.

(laughing) To the Founders.

MAN: To the Founders!

(whooping, chattering) SAROYAN: Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

PARKER: I haven't done anything wrong, I swear.

BOOTH: You've been destroying things.

You've been lying to us. You've stolen pictures.

I haven't stolen anything.

You know, it's best to stop right now, bud.

You don't want to make it any worse.

You don't understand. BRENNAN: I do.

There's an anthropological necessity for you to seek superior status within the family structure.

I don't understand.

Well, she just means that we understand that it's hard for you to accept Christine.

No! I like her.

She's my sister; I love her.

You guys are ruining everything. BRENNAN: Us? Wh-What did we do?

It was supposed to be a surprise.

You would see it when you put Christine to bed.

I might as well show you now.

I wanted to make her something. That's all.

See? It's Christine's family. (Booth chuckles)

Here's a picture of Temperance...

Dad... and your FBI patch. That's the patch you took from my gym bag. Yeah. But it was an extra.

I made sure.

See? And here's a picture of all of us.

BRENNAN: Well, it's beautiful, Parker.

BRENNAN: Let's see how Christine likes it.

♪ ♪

Turn it on, Dad. All right.

I used the motor from our truck.

Right, from the RC truck. Mm-hmm.

(lullaby music playing) Look at that.

I got the music from a chip in a greeting card.

And I got a picture of my face in the middle.

That way, Christine'll know me the next time I come to visit.

I'm sorry, buddy.

It's all right.

(Christine laughs)

(laughs)

She likes it.

She loves it.

(squeals)

♪ ♪

(indistinct talking, Christine laughs and squeals)