The Spies Who Loved Me

[In her room, Ronnie Anne is packing her backpack with a brown bag and a water bottle, when she gets a video chat request from Lincoln, she answers.] Ronnie Anne: "Hey, Lincoln." Lincoln: "Hey, Ronnie Anne, guess where I am." [Completely unaware that the sign is in the shot.] Ronnie Anne: [Seeing the sign] "Well, the sign's right behind you so, I'm gonna say Flip's." Lincoln: [Realizing what Ronnie Anne said turns around and sees the sign.] "Oh, right," [moves the camera lower] "they're unveiling the new Flippee flavour today, gotta make sure I don't miss out. Ronnie Anne: "Awesome, I have a big day too. I'm going downtown to check out street murals." Lincoln: "City life sounds pretty cool." [Looks over] "Clyde, over here! Sorry, I gotta go." Ronnie Anne: "Okay, good luck with the Flippees." Lincoln: "Good luck with the murals." [Signs off] [Ronnie Anne gets ready to leave and as she opens her door, her grandparents are standing there.] Rosa and Hector: [Horrified] "Downtown?!" Ronnie Anne: [Displeased] "You were listening at my door?" Hector: "It's a good thing we were." Rosa: "We're in charge of you while your mom's away this weekend, and you can't go downtown by yourself." Ronnie Anne: "It's no big deal, I'm used to going everywhere by myself." Hector: "Sure, in Royal Woods, but this is the city, there's all kinds of dangers you don't know about." Rosa: "Especially downtown, even I won't go there without lighting five candles first." Ronnie Anne: "I'll be fine, I have my Metro card, I've got my route planned out, if there's any problem, I'll call you. Rosa: "But Mija." Ronnie Anne: "Bobby's the one you should be worried about, you know how he's always getting stuck in the dairy case." ''[Brief flashback to Bobby in the dairy case. End flashback.]'' Rosa: "But at least we know he's safe, and has plenty to eat." Ronnie Anne: "Don't worry," [kisses them both on her way out.] "I got this." ''[Ronnie Anne leaves the apartment, Rosa and Hector follow her out, but get jammed in the door, they tumble out and look at each other with annoyance. Just then Carlos and Frida come out of the other apartment, wondering what all the commotion is.]'' Frida: "What's the rush? Is there a sale on VapoRub?" Carlos: [Knowing his parents better] "They only move this fast if they're following someone." [To his parents] "Who is it?" Rosa: "Ronnie Anne, she's going, downtown." [The kids come out of the second apartment and they all gasp with horror.] Frida: [Horrified] "Downtown? At her age?" Carlos: "Is she crazy?" Hector: "We tried to talk her out of it, but you know how she is, stubborn like an ox." Carlota: "Are you sure you're the ones who should follow her? You're kind of, um, uh..." CJ: [Stepping in] "You're old." Sergio: [Flies past, squawks] "What a burn." Carlota: "Hey, why don't I go? I'll make sure she's safe." Rosa: "No, no, all my grandbabies are too precious." [Squeezes her grandbabies] Carlos: "Actually, it's not a bad idea, Carlota knows downtown better than any of us." Carl: "And I will go with her." [Drinks his juice box and exhales] "She'll need a man for protection." [Crushes his juice box] Frida: "Okay, but you have to hold your sister's hand." Carl: "No way! How will the ladies know I'm single?" Carlota: "I'll tell them." [Gleefully grabs her brother and off they go.]

''[Later downtown, Ronnie Anne is taking a picture of a mural, and eating a soft pretzel. Carlota and Carl are watching her from behind a dumpster.]'' Carlota: [On video chat with the rest of the Casagrandes.] "Alright, she seems okay so far." Rosa: [Seeing a pigeon land beside her.] "Okay?!" [More pigeons gather round.] "She's surrounded by pigeons!" [Everyone gasps] Hector: "And eating a pretzel! She has no idea what city critters will do for food!" Carl: "Ey, don't sweat it, fam, I got this." ''[Carl goes dumpster diving, while Ronnie Anne gives the pigeons some crumbs, pats one on the head, and continues on. The Casagrandes sigh with relief.]'' Rosa: "It's a good thing I lit my special candle, or Ronnie Anne could have been bird food." Carl: ''[Having missed all that, finally comes out of the dumpster, with popcorn and a slice of pizza. He steadies himself on the garage can he's standing on, and starts waving the popcorn and pizza around.]'' "Hey pigeons! Come get some lunch!" ''[Falls off the can, but the pigeons heard all that and look at him. Carl gets up and, realizing that probably wasn't the best idea.]'' "Uh-oh." [The pigeons start chasing him, he screams and makes a run for it, Carlota follows after them.]

[Later, Ronnie Anne is looking at another mural, Carlota and Carl are watching from a news stand using magazines with the eyes cut out, Carlota shows the family what she and Carl see.] Frida: "Why is she standing in the middle of the sidewalk? She may as well wear a sign that says 'Country Bumpkin'." CJ: [Hearing something] "Do you hear that? Carlota, look up." [Carlota turns the camera up and everyone sees an air conditioner shaking, and gasp.] Rosa: "She doesn't know about city air conditioners." Frida: "They fall on people all the time." Hector: "Vito Filliponio knows a guy, who read a story about a guy, who almost got hit by one. The threat is real." [Just then, a drop of water lands on Ronnie Anne's phone, she looks up wondering where it came from, but then she just casually leaves, her family sighs with relief.] Rosa: "It didn't fall because I was rubbing my lucky wishbone, otherwise she would have been flattened like a tortilla."

''[Later, Ronnie Anne is walking along the sidewalk, minding her own business, unaware that Carlota and Carl are tiptoeing right behind her. They hide behind some crates, and show the family Ronnie Anne.]'' Hector: "She's not watching where she walks." Rosa: "Is your phone really more important than your life, Mija?" [Ronnie Anne is walking along, in front of her is an open cellar door.] Frida: [Gasps] "Aye, Madra Mia, there's an open cellar door up ahead." [Passes out] Hector: "Ronnie Anne doesn't know about city cellars." Rosa: "They're death traps." Carl: "Not to worry, I'll go close it." ''[Carl rolls out from their hiding spot, jumps on a crate, and then up to a street light and swing onto an awning. He jumps down and runs forward, but stops dead in his tracks when he sees another pigeon right in front of him. Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne approaches the cellar, and casually walks around it, much to her family's relief.]'' Frida: [After Lalo licks her awake, she's still worried.] "Is she still alive?" Rosa: "Yes, but only because I had my worry beads." [Meanwhile Carl manages to roll past the pigeon.] Carl: "Ha-ha!" ''[But, not watching where he's going, falls into the cellar door. Carlota comes over to see if he's okay. He comes out of the cellar, dazed, and spits out some packing peanuts.]'' Hector: "Carl, quit horsing around! And go follow Ronnie Anne!"

[The family later sees Ronnie Anne looking at another mural, and a bike messenger headed her way.] Frida: [Worried] "Wait, look at that bike messenger." Hector: "She doesn't know about city cyclists." [Holds his wife] Rosa: "They're pigeons on wheels." CJ: "He's headed right for her." Carl: [Popping out behind a mailbox] "I'll save her!" [Carl runs to rescue Ronnie Anne, but she hears the messenger's bell and looks.] Ronnie Anne: "Hey! Slow down!" [The messenger stops and slowly pedals around Ronnie Anne.] Carl: "Yikes!" [Runs to hide from Ronnie Anne, but runs into a postwoman, Ronnie Anne hears this and turns to see what's happening.] Ronnie Anne: [Confused to see her cousin] "Carl?" [Agitated to see her other cousin hiding behind a mailbox awkwardly laughing.] "Carlota?! Are you guys following me?" Carlota: "Wha, no, no, I ju-, just, what a crazy coincidence seeing you here." Rosa: "What's going on? We can't see Ronnie Anne." [Ronnie Anne grabs the phone from Carlota and sees the rest of her family.] Ronnie Anne: [Unhappy] "So you've all been spying on me?" Hector: "We were worried about you." Ronnie Anne: "I told you, I can take care of myself, you really need to chill out and trust me, I'll be home in a couple hours, no one follow me." Rosa: "Of course." Hector: "We promise." ''[Ronnie Anne gives Carlota her phone back and leaves, annoyed. Carlota looks at her family.]'' Rosa: "Carlota, follow her." Carlota: "What? No, I don't want her to hate me." Carl: [Jumps up on to the mailbox] "Relax, your boy Carl has once again saved the day." [Takes Carlota's phone] "Dad, you know that tracking chip you sewed into my jacket." [Carlos is surprised by what Carl said.] CJ: "Busted, dad." Carlos: [Sheepishly stutters] "You knew about that?" Carl: "Water under the bridge, Pops, I stuck it in Ronnie Anne's backpack so you can track her on your phone." [Carlos takes out his phone and sees that Carl is right.] Carlos: "Ha! Good job, son." Carl: "Looks like I'm the brawn and the brains of this operation." Frida: "Sweetie, did you find the booger wipes I put in your jacket?" [Carl groans with embarrassment, making Carlota laugh.]

[Ronnie Anne is looking at another mural, when she gets a call from Lincoln again, she answers.] Ronnie Anne: "Hey, Lincoln, how's the new Flippee?" Lincoln: "I haven't gotten one yet, the machine's down, but Flip says he's got it under control." [In the background, Flip is smacking the machine with a mop.] Ronnie Anne: "Well, I hope you get your Flippee." Lincoln: "How's it going with the murals?" [Flip tears his shirt off and screams in frustration.] Ronnie Anne: "They're great, but, my family's nuts. They sent Carlota and Carl to spy on me." Lincoln: "Been there." Ronnie Anne: "Anyway, I put a stop to that." [Meanwhile, Rosa, Hector, and Carlitos are monitoring the tracking chip.] Hector: "She stopped at George Washington Blvd and 10th Street." CJ: [Marks it on a map of the city.] "Got it." Carlos: [Looks through a book] "Okay, let's see, nearest emergency room is at St. Anthony's, there's also a fire station a block away." ''[Cuts to Ronnie Anne taking a picture of another mural. She then takes her skateboard out of her backpack with so much pride, that she doesn't even notice the tracking chip fall out and land in a wad of chewed up gum. Ronnie Anne rides her SMOOCH skateboard away, and a rat sniffs the gum and tries to eat it, but winds up covered in it instead, and has the tracking chip stuck to it, the rat scurries off, and the Casagrandes are confused now.]'' Rosa: "Why is she moving so fast?" Hector: "She could skate right into traffic." Frida: "Hold on," [takes the phone] "it looks like she's on 4th Street headed east." Carlos: "That street dead ends at the river," [gasps] "and the jail." Rosa: "Aye, Madra Mia, what if she has a, secret prison penpal and she's going to visit him?" [Pulls out some tarot cards.] "I'd better look in the cards, I need to know more about this creep." Frida: "I, I can't take all this uncertainty, we have to call her." Hector: "If we call her, she'll know we're spying on her." Rosa: [Making the call] "That's better than her falling into the river." [Ronnie Anne is photographing another mural, when her abuela calls.] Ronnie Anne: [In complete disbelief] "Another phone call, seriously? They are so paranoid." [Declines] "De-cline." Rosa: [Even more worried] "She's not picking up." Carlos: "Maybe her phone's dead." Rosa: "Or some thug, stole it!" Hector: "Whatever it is, she's in trouble, we gotta go get her." Frida: "Wait, we can't all go, someone has to stay here and watch the baby." Hector: "And Bobby." CJ: "I'm on it." Frida: [Giving him Carlitos] "Thanks, CJ, call if you need us." [In the hallway, Carlota and Carl are casually waiting outside the other apartment, Carlota looking through her purse for the keys, when suddenly their parents, and grandparents all get jammed in the other door frame and pop out.] Hector: "Oh good, you're home. Now come on, we're going back out." [Carlota and Carl look at each other.]

[Downtown, everyone is looking at Carlos' phone.] Carlos: "Okay, let's see, the dot says she's here." [The street they're on seems very peaceful.] Rosa: "This doesn't look so bad." Carlos: " Oh wait." [Turn his phone right side up, and turns around.] "Actually, she's over here." ''[The others turn around and they all see an abandoned housing complex, a crow squawks at them and they all jump. They go inside to look for Ronnie Anne, scared.]'' Frida: "Ronnie Anne! Are you here?!" Carlos: [Seeing the tracking chip is getting closer.] "Oh, look." [They all hear squeaking and turn around, everyone but Carl freak out when they see the rat.] Carl: [Trying to protect his family.] "Everyone, stand behind me." [But the rat snarls at him, prompting him to jump right into his parents arms.] "Mommy!" Carlota: [gasps] "If the tracker is on the rat, that means-" Hector: "The rat ate Ronnie Anne!" Rosa: "Don't be ridiculous, Hector, she was obviously turned into a rat by some kind of dark magic." Carlota: "Or, here's a crazy idea, maybe the tracker just fell out of her backpack, got stuck to the rat, and Ronnie Anne is somewhere else." Rosa: "Seems like a stretch." [Suddenly, the rat population starts growing bigger and bigger in size, creating a huge wave.] Hector: [whimpers] "The rat that ate Ronnie Anne has friends!" ''[They back into a corner and the rats surround them, making them all scream, except for Frida, who passes out in the process. Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne skateboards back to the bodega and enters. CJ is sitting on a barrel having a lollipop, and Carlitos is sitting on the counter with a bunch of lollipops in his mouth.]'' Ronnie Anne: "Hey, CJ, I was just upstairs. Where is everyone?" CJ: "They all went out to look for you." Ronnie Anne: "Went out to look for me?" CJ: "Yep, except me. I'm watching Bobby." ''[CJ sees that Bobby is stuck in the dairy case again, smacks his forehead playfully, and goes over there to let him out. Just then, the bodega's phone rings, making Carlitos spit out the lollipops, and Ronnie Anne answers it.]'' Ronnie Anne: "Casagrande Mercado." [Cue split screen to show that Carlos made the call.] Hector: "Wait." [takes the phone] "Is this Ronnie Anne? You're home?" Ronnie Anne: "Yeah, and why are you guys out looking for me? I told you I'd be fine." Rosa: "Uh... [gives the phone to Carlos] Tio Carlos will explain everything." [Carlos gives an annoyed expression before explaining the whole situation to Ronnie Anne.] Ronnie Anne: "Uh-huh. Abandoned building? Rats? [sighs] I'll be right there." ''[She skateboards out of the bodega to go rescue her family. Speaking of her family, they are seen trying to protect themselves from the rats.]'' Rosa: "They're going to devour us!" Carlota: "She needs to come quick!" Carlos: "Auxilio." [Right on cue, Ronnie Anne kicks the doors open and her family gasps.] Ronnie Anne: "Don't worry." [She goes into her backpack and pulls out the soft pretzel from earlier.] "I got this." Hector: "That's your plan?! A half-eaten pretzel?!" Ronnie Anne: "I don't know if you know this, but city critters will do anything for food." Rosa: "Actually, we did know that. We didn't know you knew that." Ronnie Anne: "Didn't know? Watch this." ''[She skateboards toward the rats with determination and they notice this stunt and go after her. She immediately turns around with the rats on her tail, tosses the pretzel into the elevator, and presses the button, closing it on them with a satisfied grin. She skateboards toward her family, who are cowering in fear.]'' Rosa: [squeezes Ronnie Anne] "Thank you, Ronnie Anne." Carlota: "That was amazing." Carlos: "I think we've learned an important lesson today." Hector: "Yes. Next time, Rosa and I will do all the spying ourselves." Carlos: [sighs] "No, Dad, I mean Ronnie Anne can obviously take care of herself." Carlota: "Yeah, maybe even better than we can." Ronnie Anne: "Thanks, guys, I appreciate that. And if you worry this much about me, maybe I can make things easier for you." Rosa: "Oh, good. So, you'll wear the tracker?" Ronnie Anne: "Uh, not quite. But how about a phone check-in every couple hours?" Rosa: "Agreed. But only if you'll carry my lucky crystal, too." [pulls out the said crystal.] Ronnie Anne: "Deal." ''[takes the crystal and they all hug. Just then, the elevator dings again, meaning one thing...]'' "Uh, we better get out of here before that elevator door opens." [They all run out the abandoned building, screaming, and the elevator door opens, revealing the rats.]

[Later, Ronnie Anne is video chatting with Lincoln in her room about what happened with her and her family.] Lincoln: "Well, I'm glad things worked out with your family." Ronnie Anne: "Me too. So did you ever get to try the new Flippee?" Lincoln: "No. Flip couldn't fix the machine, but he's giving out free nachos, as soon as he fixes that machine." [In the background, Flip is smacking the nacho cheese machine with the mop and rips off his shirt again with an anguished scream.]