The Cooper Extraction


 * Amy: (Skiing) Well, I have an extremely low center of gravity; I’m like a pyramid.


 * Raj: So Star Wars and Star Trek characters can go on the same branch?
 * Leonard: I know, it’s crazy. Welcome to the Thunderdome, people.
 * Howard: I've never done this before. It’s kind of fun.
 * Raj: If your Mom could see her little Bar mitzvah boy right now, she’d have a heart attack.
 * Bernadette: Good idea. I’ll take a picture.


 * Sheldon: The second I go out of town, you throw a Christmas party without me?
 * Amy: Yeah, kinda.
 * Sheldon: That’s so thoughtful. You guys are the best.


 * Sheldon: She chose to have a home birth because she wants to live in the stone age and a cave wasn't available.
 * Raj: You know, many people believe that home births are better because the mothers are in a warm environment where they can be nurtured by love ones.
 * Sheldon: And turn the bedroom floor into an amniotic Slip n’ Slide.


 * Leonard: You know, maybe you and I wouldn't be together, but you wouldn't have done so great yourself.
 * Penny: Why?
 * Leonard: Because I know exactly the kind of guy you would have ended up with.
 * Zack: Hey, babe.
 * Penny: Hey, did you remember to pay the rent?
 * Zack: Better. I used the money to buy these magic beans.


 * Bernadette: You know, I was thinking. Without Sheldon, most of us would have never met, but Penny would have still lived across from him.
 * Amy: And with Leonard out of the picture, we all know what that would mean.
 * Penny: We do?
 * Penny: Hey, Sheldon. [Fantasy Penny enters laundry as Sheldon sorts his.]
 * Sheldon: Hello.
 * Penny: Doing laundry?
 * Sheldon: Of course I’m doing laundry. Saturday night is laundry night and I’m in a laundry room, so… I believe your inference is justified.
 * Penny: Oh, my inference is justified. Sheldon, you are so funny, Anyway, I need to do my laundry, too, because these clothes are so dirty. Almost as dirty as the dirty girl who is wearing them.
 * Penny: [Listening to the story.] OK, that’s enough.
 * Guys: Disagree.
 * Penny: So what do you think?
 * Sheldon: A tad asymmetrical, but nothing to be concerned about.
 * Penny: Please, Sheldon, I need you.
 * Sheldon: To what?
 * Penny: To take me.
 * Sheldon: I’m not taking you anywhere till you put on a shirt.
 * Penny: Come on, Sheldon. You and me right here.
 * Sheldon: Penny, for the thousandth time, I’m saving myself for someone special. Perhaps a cute bespectacled neuroscientist with hair the color of mud.
 * Penny: I think I know how to change your mind.
 * Guys: That’s enough.
 * Stuart: I was okay with it.


 * Amy: Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. There’s tears in the frosting. Happy birthday to me.


 * Amy: Did you hold the baby?
 * Sheldon: I did.
 * Amy: And …how did it make you feel?
 * Sheldon: Looking into the blank innocent eyes of a creature who couldn't begin to comprehend anything I was saying? Basically another day at the office.


 * Amy: I missed you.
 * Sheldon: To quote Han Solo – I know.
 * Amy: Did you miss me?
 * Sheldon: I would've preferred to have you there with me. Or instead of me.


 * Mary Cooper: Sheldon Lee Cooper, you get back in this room right now! And bring a mop!
 * Sheldon: Did you hear that? A mop. I've two PhD's, yet somehow, I’m the janitor of my sister’s birth canal.


 * Zack: Oh, babe, I peed myself.
 * Penny: Oh! Me too!


 * Amy: You make jokes about Sheldon, but if It weren't for him I don’t think any of us would be sitting in this room right now.
 * Howard: Really? Sheldon not being here is the main reason I’m in this room.
 * Amy: It’s true. None of you would know me. You wouldn't know Bernadette. You wouldn't be dating Penny.
 * Leonard: You don’t know that. I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years. I could have picked her up.
 * Penny: [Everybody laughs.] Oh, you weren't joking.
 * Leonard: No.
 * Penny: OK, sweetie. Let me tell exactly how that would have gone down.
 * Leonard: [Penny’s fantasy story.] I’m going to do it. I’m going to ask her out.
 * Howard: I’m going to squirt chocolate milk out of my nipples. Sorry. I thought we were saying things that are never going to happen.
 * Raj: Maybe this time he’s going to do it.
 * Howard: Hope you’re thirsty. Here it comes!
 * Leonard: Watch me.
 * Penny: Hi. You guys ready to order or do you need a few minutes?
 * Leonard: I..I..um.
 * Penny: A few minutes it is.
 * Raj: Hey, you knocked her out, but that was a lot of sound.
 * Leonard: You guys are making me nervous.
 * Howard: Fine. Go talk to her on your own.
 * Leonard: I will. Excuse me.
 * Penny: Yep.
 * Leonard: Hi, um, I’m Leonard.
 * Penny: Really? You don’t sound so sure.
 * Leonard: No, I am he. And anyway there is something I wanted to ask you for a long time. Um.
 * Penny: What’s that?
 * Leonard: Well, I was wondering if you’re not too busy..um..if you’d be interested in telling me where the restroom is?
 * Penny: I think you’re too late.
 * Leonard: [Back in 4A.] Come on. I would have not peed my pants.