The Late Philip J. Fry


 * [Opening Credits: If you don't watch it, someone else will.]
 * [Scene: Robot Arms Apts.: Fry's bedroom. Fry is sleeping. Bender and a ladybot sneak around in the hallway. The ladybot is giggling.]

Bender: Don't wake up Fry.
 * [They exit the scene. They return the other way, the ladybot is still giggling.]

Bender: My roommate's sleeping.
 * [Close up on Fry. Bender's hands are shaking him.]

Bender: Wake up already! [Fry wakes up and looks at Bender.] I'm about to get down and funky with this ladybot. And I'd appreciate it if as many people as possible could know about it. [They walk off to Bender's room.] [angry] Now can we get some privacy?
 * ''[Confused, Fry gets back to sleep. But it doesn't last long. The noises from Bender's room are keeping him awake. The sound of a truck going backwards is heard.]

Bender: Ah yeah, backing on up.
 * [Time lapse. It's morning. Bender and the ladybot are playing music in Fry's room.]

Bender: [singing] Hambone! Hambone! Hambone. [talking] Okay, hambone break's over. Back to the bedroom.
 * ''[Him and the ladybot exit. Fry remains unable to sleep.]

Bender: [off-screen; singing] Hambone! Hambone! Hambone.
 * [In frustration, Fry tries to cover his head with his pillow.]
 * [Time lapse. Fry is finally asleep.]

Bender: Wake up and feel the coffee.
 * [Bender pours coffee on Fry. Fry wakes up, spitting out the coffee. He looks at his alarm clock. It is 11:55.]

Fry: Oh no! I'm late for work again!
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Conference room. Bender, Farnsworth, Hermes, Zoidberg and Amy are there. Bender is smoking a cigar. Fry enters.]

Fry: Sorry, I'm late. Bender: Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up. Farnsworth: I've had it with your tardiness, Fry. I expect you to arrive the same time as everyone else. Fry: Well, wait a second. Leela's not here yet. Amy: She left a while ago. She said some idiot were taking her to lunch for her birthday.
 * [Fry realises. Looks at his watch.]

Fry: Oh no! I'm late.
 * [Scene: Elzar's Fine Cuisine. Leela is sitting by a table for two alone. Looking annoyed. A party blower enters the scene. Leela is awaken. It's Elzar blowing it.]

Elzar: Since you got stood up, I thought this might cheer you up a notch.
 * [He hands her a cake slice with a lit candle in it.]

Leela: That's not necessary. Elzar: [singing] What day is today? It's Leela's birthday Leela: Please stop. Elzar: [singing] What a day for a birthday Leela: I really would like you to stop singing. Elzar: [singing] Let's all have some cake. [talking] You want to buy a slice of a birthday cake for 11.95? Leela: Yes, please.
 * [Elzar exits the shot. Enter Fry.]

Fry: Ooh, nice cake. Sorry, I'm late. Leela: [angry] Where have you&mdash;? [calm] Nah, it's fine. Fry: You're not mad? Leela: I was. But then I realised it's actually my fault for thinking you might be on time for once. [She cleans her mouth with a napkin.] Anyhow, I ate both our lunches. You ordered the Lobster Pilé. It wasn't cheap.
 * [She drags the bill towards Fry. She leaves with the cake slice.]

Elzar: Bam!
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Hangar. On top of the Planet Express ship are Fry and Leela. They are cleaning the cannon with giant cotton buds.]

Fry: Please, let me make it up to you. I'll treat you to a fancy birthday dinner tonight at Cavern on the Green. Leela: Wow. That'll be the nicest place I've ever been stood up.
 * [They take out the cotton buds. It has some wax on it and they turn it around to continue the process.]

Fry: Not this time. No matter what happens, I'll swear I be there.
 * [Enter Bender with a piece of paper.]

Bender: Guys, guys! Hedonism bot is finally settling down and marrying a nice house in the suburb. [He is holding an announcement of Hedonism together with his house with the text 'I'm Getting Married!'.] But tonight, he's having the girls gone wildest bachelor party of all time.
 * [Fry lifts his arms in excitement.]

Fry: Woohoohoohoo... [He notices Leela is not pleased.] ... cares? I'm having dinner with Leela.
 * [Leela sighs.]

Leela: Just go to your stupid party. We can have dinner on my birthday some other year. Fry: No. I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight, I wanna not throw up. On you.
 * [Leela is glad again.]

Leela: Really? Bender: Your loss. ''[He turns around. Farnsworth and Cubert are in the laboratory.]'' Hey, Professor, you're my wingman. Farnsworth: Very well. Eh, Cubert, fetch my drinking teeth.
 * [Farnsworth takes out his regular teeth, Cubert picks up a new set of teeth with a straw in the middle and inserts into Farnsworth's mouth.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Conference room. It's evening. Fry and Amy are there. Fry is signing a birthday card. On the front it says 'Happy Birthday to Mew!'.]

Fry: I just have to sign Leela's birthday card. How do you spell XO? Amy: Guh. It's a record-your-own-message card. You don't sign it. You leave a nude video greeting. Fry: Does it have to be nude? Amy: I guess not. That never occurred to me.
 * [Amy leaves.]

Fry: If I leave now, record a birthday greeting on the way, score some fancy cologne at the newsstand, I'll be exactly on time!
 * [He runs off to the door, but is interrupted by the entrance of Bender and Farnsworth.]

Farnsworth: You're not going anywhere. Fry: But I have a date. Farnsworth: You were late this morning. So you'll have to stay and test my latest invention. ''[They walk over to a giant sheet covering something. He reveals a time travelling machine.]'' Behold! A time travelling machine!
 * [Fry and Bender gasp.]

Bender: Time? I can't go back there. Farnsworth: Ah, but this time machine only goes forward in time. That way you can't accidentally change history. Or do something disgusting like sleep with your own grandmother. Fry: I wouldn't wanna do that again. Farnsworth: We're going to test it by going forward in time one minute. ''[He takes out a remote and opens the time machine. The sound of a car being unlock is heard.]'' Get in. Fry: Okay, hurry. Let's get it over with. I can record Leela's birthday card while we're in there.
 * [They all enter.]
 * [Scene: Time machine. Fry has opened the birthday card and is beginning to record his message.]

Fry: [to card] Happy birthday, Leela. I'm really sorry I'm gonna be one minute late, 'cause we're testing the professor's dumb time machine.
 * [Camera pans to Farnsworth and Fry is muffled out of hearing range. Farnsworth is standing by the controls to the time machine. The current date reads 29 July, 3010, 10:05 pm.]

Farnsworth: Okay. I'll just nudge us forward exactly one minute into the&mdash;
 * [Farnsworth trips and falls, pulling the leaver too hard. The machine starts moving forward in time. Fry is losing the card in the confusion as it leaps out of the machine.]

Fry: My card!
 * [Farnsworth gets up and stops the machine. They look outside and are amazed at what they are seeing. New New York is entirely in ruins.]

Fry: Did we go too far? What time is it?
 * [They look at the machine. It reads 3 December, 10 000, 4:55 pm.]

Bender: [dramatically] The year ten thousand!
 * [Scene: Outside the time machine. The camera zooms out. We see the entirety of New New York in ruins.]

Farnsworth: [voice over] Whoopsie.
 * [Time lapse. The caption 'The Year 10,000' appears.]
 * ''[Scene: Time machine.]

Farnsworth: Oh dear. I mean, oh my. Fry: The year ten thousand? But I promised Leela I'll be on time for dinner. Farnsworth: Relax, Fry. Everyone we ever knew died thousands of years ago. Bender: Everyone we ever knew? Nah, I never liked those guys.
 * [Scene: Outside time machine. They leave the time machine. They walk until they come near the Statue of Liberty. They gasp. Fry gets on his knees.]

Fry: [frustrated] No! They did it! They blew it up! [The camera pans to reveal a monkey Statue of Liberty.] And then the apes blew up their society too. How could this happen? [Camera pans to reveal a bird Statue of Liberty.] And then the birds took over and ruined their society. [Camera pans to reveal a cow Statue of Liberty.] And then the cows. And then... [Camera pans to reveal a strange slug-like Statue of Liberty.] ... I don't know, is that a slug, maybe? [screaming] Noooo!
 * [Scene: Cavern on the Green. The year 3010. Leela is waiting alone. A waiter comes over.]

Waiter: While you await your [He does a quotation mark hand gesture.] friend. Allow me to read from a prepared history of our cavern. [He takes out a brochure titled 'History of Cavern on the Green'.] These unique rock formations were created over millions of years by mineral rich water dripping from pores in the ceiling. Dripping and dripping. [voice slowed down into a dark tone] year on year, [even slower] century after century.
 * [Enter Elzar with a birthday cake slice.]

Elzar: [singing] What day is today? [talking] Hey, aren't you the loser who got stood up on my other restaurant? Leela: Just shut up and bring me two dinners.
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Employee lounge. Cubert, Amy, Zoidberg and Hermes are watching television. Enter Leela.]

Leela: Has anyone seen Fry's ass? It's late for a date with my boot. Cubert: Fry's not here. Obviously he went to that pervert party with Bender and the professor.
 * [He grunts.]

Leela: Fry went to the party?
 * [She grunts. A news bulletin comes on.]

Linda: [on television] We interrupt Hypnotoad on Ice to bring you breaking coverage ... [The title card reads 'Sorrow at the soirée'.] ... of the disaster at Hedonism bot's bachelor party.
 * [The crew gasps. On the television, Morbo is in the field.]

Morbo: [on television] Linda, what began as innocent fun ended in tragedy tonight when a nuclear powered robot stripper suffered a catastrophic reactor meltdown. There is only one survivor.
 * [Scene: New New York: Near the disaster. Hedonism bot is clearly damaged.]

Hedonism bot: Everywhere I looked there were piles of bodies. And then the explosion struck.
 * [He laughs, but then begins crying.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Employee lounge.]

Zoidberg: The three coworkers I liked... all dead! Leela: Fry stood me up and died? [angry] I'm so angry. [sad] I mean, I'm so sad. [angry] But I'm still pretty angry. [sad] But also sad. [to Hermes] Can I be both? Hermes: It's what he'd want. Leela: Then that's what I am! Hi-yah!
 * [She kicks the television and begins sobbing.]
 * [Scene: New New York: Around where the Planet Express building were. The year 10,000. Fry, Farnsworth and Bender are sitting around a fire place. Bender throws some books on the fire; a kindle, The History of the Human Race and Backwards Time Travel Made Easy (written in Alien Language 1).]

Bender: Man, the future is a total craphole. Whoever lives here is a crapface sack of crap. [He turns around to some natives.] No offence, fellows. Native #1: Don't sweat it, man.
 * [Fry sighs.]

Fry: I'll never see Leela again. Farnsworth: No, without a backwards time machine we're stuck in this craphole. Native #1: Dude, give it a rest. Farnsworth: Hold on! I got it. We can't go back in time, but we can keep going forward until people invent the backwards time machine. Fry: And then we can go home. Bender: Hit it.
 * [A song begins playing to the tune of Zager & Evans' In the year 2525.]

Song: [verse 1] In the year one-o-five, one-o-five If man is still alive If robot can survive They may find

[verse 2] In the year twenty-five twenty-five twenty-five The backwards time machine still won't have arrived In all the world, there's only one technology A rusty sword for practicing proctology

[verse 3] In the future year that ends with a twenty A slumpy merman is gonna try to get chummy He may look like a watery wimp When in fact he's a blood thirsty schrimp

[verse 4] In the year one million and a half Human kind is enslaved by giraffe Men must pay for all his misdeeds When the tree tops are stripped off their leaves

Woah-wow
 * [Montage during the song: In the year 105105 (verse 1), the world is covered in ice and Eskimos chase the crew on seals with handguns. They travel forward. In the year 252525 (verse 2), they meet a mediaeval castle where a knight riding a ostrich stabs Bender in the back with a sword. They travel forward. In the year 351120 (verse 3), the world is covered in water. The time machine floats, and Fry and Farnsworth use Bender's legs for oars. A merman tries to greet them, but it turns out to be a giant schrimp. They travel forward. In the year one million and a half (verse 4), they meet once again a mediaeval castle, but this time its door is very tall, and out of it comes a giraffe being pulled by six enslaved humans. They go a to a tree with one leaf left and the giraffe eats it. They travel forward]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Conference room. The year 3030. Planet Express is now a giant delivery company with many many copies of the Planet Express ship. Leaving and entering. An old Hermes and old Leela looks over the hangar which now have 3 stories of ships which are all leaving and entering.]

Old Hermes: Sometimes I can't believe how successful Planet Express became once the professor was killed and you seized control. Old Leela: There were tough times. But we all pulled together.
 * [An old Zoidberg enters the conversation.]

Old Zoidberg: I've been crunching the numbers on our transgalactic strategy&mdash; Old Leela: What are you doing here? I laid you off twenty years ago.
 * [Zoidberg flees. But he can't keep it up.]

Old Zoidberg: Oh, the claws can't flee like they used to. Old Leela: Success is nice, but I do kinda miss the old days.
 * [She takes out a photo of her and Fry, who is drinking a can of Slurm. Behind the photo stands an older Cubert.]

Old Cubert: Hey, Leels.
 * [Leela strokes her hair.]

Old Leela: Hi, Cubert.
 * [Cubert's eyes widen.]
 * [Scene: The year five million. The planet is covered with futuristic buildings and its beings are short and pink, with pointy ears, carrying a headband with a red circle in front. They can even fly. The crew's time machine lands in a park and they meet two inhabitants.]

Male inhabitant: May we help you, strange ones? Bender: We are travellers from the past, my good runt. Female inhabitant: I see, since your time, human evolution has diverged.
 * [She opens up a holographic presentation above their heads. A human figure is split in two; one side is the pink ones.]

Male inhabitant: There are we; advanced in intellect and morality.
 * [The other side becomes a big blue creature.]

Female inhabitant: And the Dumblocks; stupid vicious brutes, who live underground. Farnsworth: Advanced in intellect, you say? Have you invented a backwards time machine? Female inhabitant: No, but if we apply our superior minds, we can perfect such a device within five years. Farnsworth: See you then!
 * [They travel forward in time.]
 * [Five years later.]

Bender: We're back for our time machine.
 * [However, this time the Dumblocks have taken over and one hits Bender on the head.]
 * [Scene: The year ten million. Here, many ruins cover the Earth, while giant robots with laser beams rage war upon the humans. Some wounded soldiers pass by the time machine as it arrives.]

Farnsworth: Yuhoo, boys! What's this era in human history like? Soldier #1: The... the machines, we built them to make our lives easier, but they rebelled. They won't stop until every human is dead.
 * [Farnsworth and Fry aren't pleased with this future, but Bender, on the other hand, seems to be enjoying the prospect.]

Bender: This seems like a nice future. Let's just stay here. We can settle down on that mountain of skulls.
 * [Farnsworth and Fry look at each other. Farnsworth pull the switch.]
 * [Scene: Time machine.]

Bender: Hey! That place had a gorgeous view of Blood Lake.
 * [Scene: The year fifty million. The Earth is now covered with grass and few structures. Its inhabitants are all beautiful human females. As they arrive, the ladies immediately notice them as time travellers.]

Lady #1: Greetings, time travellers.
 * [Bender is mumbling behind them.]

Bender: Stupid jerks wouldn't let me stay in the good future. Fry: How do you know we're time travellers? Lady #2: We too studied the time travel enigma. Lady #3: We have perfected a method using negative mass neutrino fields that allow us to travel backwards in time. Farnsworth: My name's Hubert. Fry: [joyous] All right! We can go home! Bender: [mocking] Nah-nah! We can go...
 * [He makes a fart sound and does a thumbs down in disapproval.]

Lady #1: We can talk about our research tomorrow. Men are very rare in our society. Even very old and stupid males are priced. [Farnsworth and Fry smiles.] Tonight, please be the guests of honour at our fertility banquet. Farnsworth: Well, there is certainly no harm in a fertility banquet. Fry: I can eat. And fertilise. Lady #1: Very well, let us anoint our guests in oil without using our hands. Bender: [interrupting] Oh, so we can stay in the future you like? But not the future I like? Next!
 * [He pulls the switch, all the others gasp.]
 * [Scene: Time machine. Farnsworth cries and Fry is displeased.]

Farnsworth: No! I was about to close the deal. Fry: Bender, they had a backwards time machine. Bender: The other place had a lot of good things too. Did you even see that mountain of skulls? Farnsworth: Why you!
 * [He gives Bender a very weak slap.]

Bender: Oh no, you didn't.
 * [They fight. Fry gets up.]

Fry: Stop. Somewhere, some time, Leela's waiting for me. We need to keep looking for a backwards time machine.
 * [Farnsworth and Bender get up too.]

Farnsworth: Fry is right. Bender: Yes, we have to work together. Not have this fight which I was definitely winning.
 * [Farnsworth stops the time machine. Its interface reads 3 December, 1,000,000,000 AD, 8:05 pm.]

Farnsworth: The year one billion.
 * [Scene: Outside the time machine. They exit.]

Farnsworth: I got a feeling this could be exactly the point in time we've been looking for. [This future is entirely covered in a dead desert, covering as far as the eyes can see.] Nope. [Farnsworth takes up a device that scans the area and turns up an X on its screen and buzzes.] In fact, all life is extinct.
 * [Bender laughs.]

Fry: So let's keeping going forward. Farnsworth: Oh, it's no use. Earth is dead. This is the end of all things.
 * [Fry weeps. And begins to walk around alone in the desert. He sees a cave.]

Fry: The Cavern on the Green.
 * [Scene: Cavern on the Green. It's just a cavern.]

Fry: I made it, Leela. Sorry, I'm a billion years late.
 * [Fry notices some text written in the rock formations on the ground, starting with 'Dear Fry'.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Conference room. The year 3050. Planet Express is an even bigger company than before. Cubert is an old man who is playing with his yoyo. Enter an even older Leela who looks clearly annoyed.]

Old Leela: You'll get your alimony cheque, Cubert. Now get lost. Old Cubert: Chill out, I'm just here to see Amy.
 * [Enter Amy. Old Amy is just Amy's head on a robot.]

Old Amy: Move it, boy-toy. Granny's taking you to Atlantic City.
 * [Leela is not amused. Amy hits Cubert on the butt as they leave. Enter Hermes' head in a jar hopping on a pogo-stick.]

Old Hermes: I don't know why you ever married that pig-nose punk. Old Leela: I don't know either. I'm married to the job now. [The faint reveal of the time machine appears behind Leela and the birthday card comes flying out.] I used to think there was someone for me, but&mdash; [She gets hit by the card and falls over.] Aw! [She sits up with the card.] How odd, it's one of those old record-your-own-message birthday cards.
 * [She opens it, Fry is on screen.]

Fry: [on card] Happy birthday, Leela. I'm really sorry I'm gonna be one minute late, because we are testing the professor's dumb time machine. But you know, happy birthday and all and... [He leans closer to the card.] ... I love you. ''[In the background, the time machine goes off. The card vanishes away from Fry.]'' My card!
 * [The video continues as it leaves the time machine. It hits Leela in the head. It ends.]

Old Leela: My whole life I've been mad at him. And it wasn't his fault.
 * [Scene: New New York: Street level. The year 3050. Old Leela is walking alone, depressed. She reaches the Cavern on the Green which has now been closed. She enters.]
 * [Scene: Cavern on the green. The year 3050. It still has signs of having been a restaurant. Leela looks around the empty room. She begins to shoot up at the ceiling. Confident, she leaves. Time lapses as drops fall from the ceiling to create the rock formations on the ground that contains the message, 'Dear Fry, our time together was short, but it was the best time of my life. -Leela'. The lapse ends as Fry is standing there reading it in 1,000,000,000 A.D.]

Leela: [voice-over] Dear Fry, our time together was short, but it was the best time of my life.
 * [Fry sheds a tear.]
 * [Scene: Outside the time machine. The year one billion. Fry is returning. Bender and Farnsworth are just hanging around.]

Fry: You know, all in all, I had a good life. What you say the three of us grab a six pack and watch the universe end? Farnsworth: Hear, hear! Bender: That's basically what I do every day.
 * [He pulls out a six pack.]
 * [Scene: Time machine. They all open their beer cans and toast.]

Fry: To the end of the universe.
 * [He pulls the switch. The machine starts ticking. They sit down and wait. Outside the sun explodes and the Earth crumbles before them.]

Fry: So long, Earth. Thanks for the air and whatnot.
 * [The sun vanishes into nothing and the universe behind is revealed. A set of white explosions occur. They gasp in awe.]

Fry: Hey, uh, what was the purpose of life anyway? Farnsworth: Who knows? Probably some hogwash about the human spirit. Bender: Mm-hm. Fry: Sounds about right.
 * [Before them, the universe expands in size as the galaxies float away from one another making the universe darker and darker.]

Farnsworth: The stars are receding. Oh, the vast emptiness.
 * [He shakes his can at Bender.]

Bender: Yeah, yeah, I can take a hint.
 * [He takes Farnsworth's old can and gives him a new one. Farnsworth takes a sip.]

Farnsworth: Ah, the last proton should be decaying about now.
 * [The machine's indicator is ticking up from 1 × 1035 AD.]

Fry: Bye, last proton.
 * [Scene: Outside the time machine.]

Farnsworth: And... [He stands up.] ... here we are; the end of the universe.
 * [The camera zooms out to reveal that there is literally nothing left. With the exception of the time machine, of course.]
 * [Scene: Time machine. Farnsworth sits back down.]

Fry: Well, now what? You guys wanna talk? Bender: No thanks.
 * [Suddenly a giant explosion occurs in front of them. They gasp in shock and cover their eyes from the immense lighting.]

Fry: Did anyone else see that? Farnsworth: Unbelievable. It's a second big bang. ''[In front of them, the sun is forming. Fry is covering his eyes.]'' My God, is it possible? Fry: It must be possible. It's happening. By the way, what's happening? Farnsworth: It appears, this universe is exactly identical to the old one. If so, we just need to keep going forward in time to the point when we left. ''[The Earth is forming in front of them. Volcanoes and ashes cover the surface.]'' The Earth is born! ''[It begins raining. A rock hits the Earth and the moon appears.]'' Ladies and gentlemen, the moon.
 * [Scene: Outside the time machine.]

Fry: Look. The first fish to crawl up on land.
 * [A legged fish crawls up on land. Bender crushes it with his footcuff.]

Bender: [off screen] It was coming right at us.
 * [Scene: Time machine.]

Bender: You saw it. Fry: I'm gonna grab another beer.
 * [He leans into Bender's chest cabinet.]

Bender: Fry, Fry, you're missing the dinosaurs. Fry: It's okay. They're not going anywhere. [He finally retrieves a beer and stands up.] Where'd they go?
 * [Montage: Outside the time machine. As time pass by, we see some cavemen getting hit by arrows in a rocky environment, some Indians enter in an area covered in plains, but are shot by Dutch settlers in a forest environment. Some redcoats enter and shoot the Dutchmen in an early populated environment. At last some American revolutionaries enter and shoot the redcoats.]
 * [Scene: Time machine.]

Bender: Now what's going on there? Fry: History. Farnsworth: Hang on, I just want to make one stop.
 * [He takes out a giant laser weapon and leaves the time machine.]
 * [Scene: Nuremberg Rally. Hitler is addressing his supporters.]

Hitler: Betrachten Sie meinen Schnurrbart.
 * [He is hit by a laser and explodes.]
 * [Scene: Time machine. Farnsworth reenters. And pulls the switch forward.]
 * [Montage: Time lapse in front of them, when they first see the streets, some construction sites and buildings. Which are then destroyed by an alien invasion. The rubble decays and a mediaeval castle is build in its place. This too is destroyed by an alien invasion. New New York is then built, and the street they are standing on is closed as buildings on it decay. Instead, Planet Express is build around it and soon they are inside the conference room. We see Farnsworth talking about Vergon 6 as in "Love's Labours Lost in Space", Kif and Zapp talking to Leela and Amy as in "Amazon Women in the Mood", Fry and Steve Castle enter from "Future Stock", Fry and Zoidberg dancing from "A Taste of Freedom", Farnsworth being possessed by Yivo from The Beast with a Billion Backs and Leela getting herself smacked on the table from "Attack of the Killer App".]

Farnsworth: Easy. Easy. Taking her in for a landing.
 * [Scene: Time machine. Farnsworth is slowing pulling the switch to a halt.]

Farnsworth: One year to go. [He moves the switch.] Six months. Fry: I'm almost there, Leela. Farnsworth: One month. [He moves the switch.] Two weeks. [He moves the switch.] One hour. [He moves the switch.] Thirty seconds and here we&mdash;
 * [Farnsworth falls over pulling down the switch and let it go forward in time at full speed.]

Fry: Stop! Bender: Give me the keys, Magoo.
 * [Bender stops the time machine.]
 * [Cut to: Outside the time machine. They are back in the year 10 000. Fry is annoyed.]
 * [Scene: Time machine.]

Farnsworth: We'll have to bring her around again.
 * [He pulls the leaver to full.]
 * [Montage: Outside the ruins disappear into being covered in snow. Then the medieval castle. Then the water world with the merman. Then the giraffe castles. Then the diverged humans, first ruled by the pink ones and then the Dumblocks. Then the giant robots whose only wish is to destroy humanity. Then the world covered with grass and inhabited by women. Then the dead world as the sun explodes. Which vanishes, creating sparks as the universe thins out. Then the big bang reoccurs. The sun forms. The Earth is formed, it begins raining, the moon appears.]

Farnsworth: Just slow it down, I'll shoot Hitler out the window. [He takes out his weapon again and aims out the window and shoots.] Darn! I hit Eleanor Roosevelt by mistake. [He drops the weapon.] Okay. Nearing our era again. [Bender moves the leaver.] Here we go. [Bender moves the leaver.] Careful this time. [Bender moves the leaver.] Careful.
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Conference room. The year 3010. Bender, Fry and Farnsworth are gathered in front of the time machine.]

New Farnsworth: We're going to test it by going forward in time one minute. [He opens the time machine with his remote.] Get in. New Fry: Okay, hurry, let's get it over with.
 * [The time machine appears above them.]

New Farnsworth: But, err, wha–? Farnsworth: Oh uh.
 * ''[Scene: Time machine. The original time machine.]

Farnsworth: This new universe is about ten feet lower than our old one.
 * [Scene: Planet Express: Conference room. The time machine crashes on the new versions of Bender, Fry and Farnsworth, killing them. The original ones leave.]

Farnsworth: Pow. We took care of the time travel paradox.
 * [They all cheer.]

Fry: All right! Bender: Yabba dabba doo.
 * [Fry looks at his watch.]

Fry: Oh uh, I'm late for dinner with Leela.
 * [He leaves.]
 * [Scene: Cavern on the Green. Leela is waiting. The waiter comes over.]

Waiter: Welcome to Cavern on the Green. May I offer you some meatloaf while you wait?
 * [Enter Fry. He is dressed fancy.]

Fry: Sorry, I'm late. Leela: Actually, you're on time. Fry: Really? Leela: I have to admit, I was afraid you wouldn't make it. Fry: That was the old Fry. He's dead now.
 * [Scene: New New York Central Park: Bridge. Fry and Leela are standing on the bridge looking at the moon.]

Fry: Happy birthday, Leela. I got you a card, but I guess I kinda lost it. Leela: That's okay. I don't really like cards. What I'll remember is our time together.
 * [She leans closer. The wide shot reveals Bender digging a hole for the three bodies under the bridge.]
 * [Closing Credits.]