The Bikini in the Soup

(three quick beeps)

(clinking, clank)

Señora?

Señora?

(sniffing)

Señora, are you trying to cook again?

Why do you do that?

You burn the pots, and then I have to clean.

(sighs)

Cerda.

(sniffs)

Doesn't smell good, señora.

Whatever you cooked, don't eat it.

Señora?

Señora?

Oh...

I-I think you've been in there too long.

You smell all sweaty.

(sniffs, sighs)

Trust me, no one needs to be that brown.

Señora?

Señora?

(screams)

Who the hell has a home tanning bed?

Aren't there easier ways to get cancer?

Exposed mastoid process and rounded frontal bones suggest female.

I think the bikini is a big hint, too.

Right. Porous sternal rib end indicates she was in her 30s.

Tanned complexion was considered unattractive until 1920, when Coco Chanel went to the South of France and returned with a tan.

Think she fell asleep in here?

Probably an accident, right?

Well, I have no idea.

I have to thoroughly examine the remains.

No, it's just that, before I left the lab, Cam said something about having plans tonight-- being Valentine's Day and all-- so... I think she's probably going to want to put this to bed early.

Are you suggesting that we not do our jobs properly?

No! Hey! Not me!

Cam. My boss.

I'm just passing on the information here.

Guess today is such a special day for her because of her new boyfriend.

Valentine's Day was originally meant to commemorate a Christian martyr who died in a quite horrific way.

Investigating this death is a more appropriate way to celebrate.

Yeah, I'm going to let you tell her that one.

Right, so, okay.

The housekeeper I.D.'d the body as a Wendy Bovitz.

She was a wedding planner.

Well, that explains all the... decorations and pictures.

It's kind of sad, isn't it?

Someone who specializes in love would be found dead on Valentine's Day?

Just another day, Hodgins. Just another day.

Not when you have a pregnant wife.

BOOTH: All right, so the alarm was on when the housekeeper got here. There's, uh, no sign of a break-in.

Nothing was stolen.

Hey, Bones, don't these things have timers anywhere?

It's broken. Oh. Maybe she just fell asleep and she turned to stew.

Yeah. That makes sense.

I think Cam can sign off on that.

Oh... No, no, no, no. Doesn't Cam want to take this goo back to the lab and analyze it?

She has Valentine's Day plans. Right.

Okay, look... I know you and Hannah broke up, but... for most people, Valentine's Day...

You don't want to finish that sentence.

No. No, I don't.

So, I'm assuming that you want to take all of this back to the lab. Correct?

Yes.

Yes, of course.

Oh. Huh.

Happy Valentine's Day, Bones.

BRENNAN: Based on the decomp, which was accelerated by the heat and the UV rays, the victim has been dead between 32 and 38 hours.

I don't have to get a Valentine's Day present for Nora, because every year, Nora sends me a request.

I can't lose.

Were we talking about you and your girlfriend? Oh, I'm sorry.

I was just thinking about her. Love's funny that way.

Remember when you were so professional that you wouldn't mention anything about your personal life?

I know. What a drag I was.

EDISON: Fracture to the zygomatic arch and a mandibular fracture at the symphysis.

This could be murder.

No... murder.

Paul has this amazing evening planned-- dinner at L'Ami Jean, ending in a gorgeous room at the Hampshire House-- and a complicated case would mess that up, and that would make me very cranky.

Remodeling suggests that these injuries are a few years old.

Thank God! Tox screen indicates alcohol consumption and traces of diazepam.

There we have it.

She had a glass of wine, popped a pill, fell asleep.

We have more bones to examine.

Knock yourself out.

You know, last year, she wanted to go to this cabin in the mountains, and we got snowed in.

And the only way we could keep ourselves warm was to just...

Well, it was a wonderful Valentine's Day. (clears throat)

(cell phone ringing)

Brennan.

Oh, hello, Douglas.

No. I can't tonight. I'm busy.

I'm sorry. Okay, good-bye.

So you have plans tonight. That's nice.

No. No.

A date on Valentine's Day comes with the expectation of affectionate companionship and probably s*x.

I have no intention of engaging in either.

Oh, I do.

Uh-oh. No.

Sharp force trauma to the ribs.

And no remodeling.

Left anterior fourth and fifth ribs.

The wounds are penetrating. Dr. Edison, we need to check the corresponding section of the thoracic spine.

EDISON: Yep. SAROYAN: What is it?

There are some nicks on the front of some of the thoracic vertebrae.

Which means the wedding planner was stabbed through the heart.

I'm sorry, Dr. Saroyan.

This is murder.

♪ Bones 6x14 ♪ The Bikini in the Soup Original Air Date on February 17, 2011

♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method People! People! Can I have your attention, please?

Thank you.

Apparently, there's a chance that this may be a murder.

Oh, it's definitely a murder, Dr Saroyan.

Okay, since it is a murder, you have exactly... eight hours and 22 minutes to solve it.

Uh, excuse me, Cam.

Why? Because, at exactly 6:45 p.m., I am exiting this building to observe Valentine's Day with Paul.

Well, what if the murder isn't solved?

People, there is death in this world and there is romance.

Today, death is the loser and romance wins.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

HODGINS: What about justice?

SAROYAN: Good.

Go. Solve.

(beeping)

HODGINS: So, you know what this means, right? ANGELA: What?

We can get out of here early, make a night of it.

(chuckles) We don't have to do that.

Come on. Dinner... and dancing... (giggles)

(laughing): Dancing?

Okay, dinner and... and a walk.

A very... short walk.

You don't have to worry about Valentine's anymore.

We're married people.

Well, come on, now. Married people have romance.

I am going to prove it to you.

(computer beeping)

HODGINS: Here's our confirmation.

The murder victim was Wendy Bovitz.

Wow. A wedding planner killed just before Valentine's Day.

That is ironic.

Yeah, but we have an I.D., which is good. Right.

You have plans. Okay, uh, I'll check with Clark and see if he needs help with anything resembling a weapon.

Great.

(sighs)

HODGINS: Hey.

You're the expert on Valentine's romance.

I got a question for you.

Fine-- as long as you ask it on the way back to your office to solve this murder.

Okay. All right. So, uh, Angela just said to me that because we're married, we don't have to be romantic.

Not true. Well, yes, I know it's hard to believe, but that is exactly what she just said.

No. Married or not, you still have to be romantic.

I knew it. She's testing me.

No, no, she's not testing you.

She's pregnant, and her feet hurt, and she may not feel up for initiating the romance, but if you don't, she'll never forgive you.

It's the estrogen. It's all right.

I'll initiate all right. Okay.

How? You know that emerald necklace I bought her Christmas before last?

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Wow. Matching earrings.

Oh. What?

Angela doesn't really like that necklace so much.

What? She loves it. She told me so.

Of course she did, but have you ever seen her wear it?

Uh... yes.

When you didn't ask?

Oh. Yeah.

Think of something else.

But wait until after we solve the murder.

(sighs)

Wen-Wendy's dead?

Are-are you sure it was her?

Without a doubt. Oh, my God.

This is a disaster.

BOOTH: Especially for Wendy.

So... you are her assistant.

Executive assistant, yes.

Is that important? Executive assistant?

Well, I guess, right now, in the grand scheme of things, no, it probably isn't.

BOOTH: All right.

When was the last time you saw her?

A couple days ago.

I've, uh, been trying to reach her.

I must have left her a dozen messages.

And you weren't surprised when she didn't respond?

Not really. No.

It was sort of Wendy's M.O.

Wendy gets, um...

Wendy got overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by... Uh, well, uh, well, the Erickson wedding, for one thing.

As in... as in Warren Erickson.

No? Really?

Do you people know anything that goes on in this town?

Anything important, anyway?

I'm sorry. It's just that this wedding, which is massive, is tonight, and I don't know how I'm going to pull it off without Wendy.

In fact, I don't know how I'm going to live without Wendy.

(stifled sobbing)

So you have your own numerical code to her alarm system?

Ah, yes. The assistant's code.

Um, I also have, uh, a set of keys.

According to Postern Security, the code was used to set the alarm yesterday.

Uh, yeah.

I-I stopped by to pick up some fabric swatches, uh... but Wendy wasn't there. Thank you.

Did you, uh, check the tanning bed?

No.

She left the fabric by the door. Why?

Well, that's where we found her body.

Um... are you saying that she might have, uh, been... been dead when I was in the house?

Definitely there and definitely dead.

Dead. Yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh... oh, I'm going to be sick.

(gulps)

No, I-I'm fine.

Okay.

Ooh! No, I'm not.

(sighs) All right. I'm all right.

(sobbing): Oh, God, I loved that woman.

I loved her.

(sobbing)

Well, I've been removing the liquefaction and came across something that belongs to you.

I don't know what it is-- a butterfly, maybe.

It was in her hair.

Well, Lepidoptera is attracted to the smell of decomp.

Perhaps he flew a little too close and was ensnared.

Instead of musing, maybe you could be running, classifying and hurrying.

BRENNAN: I was looking at the X-rays.

This finger appears to be broken.

Skeleton hand or the still fleshy hand? Fleshy.

The fracture occurred around the time of death.

It could indicate a struggle.

I'll take samples from under the fingernails (phone rings) to see if there's any evidence.

Brennan.

Oh, hello, Scott. How are you?

No, I have no Valentine's plans.

When you say Valentine's dinner, do you mean... a romantic dinner or a... normal meal amongst colleagues?

Oh, uh, okay. Then, no, thank you.

Okay, bye, now.

I wish you had said yes. Why?

Because, then, you'd be motivated to move more quickly.

I understand that Valentine's Day may... have significance for you.

You do?

Yes. You've reached an age where every male must be treated as a prospective mate.

I'm not that much older than you, and I have someone.

I'm sorry.

I'm on edge.

No.

You're correct.

This is the victim's laptop? MONTENEGRO: Yeah.

I thought you might find this interesting.

When it boots up. BOOTH: Mm-hmm.

So, this must be a tough one, huh?

What, the case?

Valentine's Day.

I mean, so soon after your breakup with Hannah.

Not really.

Really? Not really? Really.

Can we just focus on the case?

No twinges at all?

It's over, okay?

Hannah and I are done.

I've moved on. Okay.

So what are you gonna do? Nothing.

Valentine's Day is not a holiday.

It's just made up by these greeting card companies and florists. Well, then, maybe you should find somebody else who's doing nothing, so that you two can do nothing together.

(computer beeps) Look at that, good news-- it's booted up.

So, what do you want to show me?

Okay. One of the password-protected files.

(beeping)

"In case of death."

BOOTH: Oh.

Well, Clark said that she was probably in a car accident.

That would explain the injuries.

Yeah. Or...

BOOTH: "If anything happens to me, it was my husband"?

Did you know that she was married?

No.

(siren whoops)

(horse whinnies)

(siren whoops)

(horse whinnies)

Greg Bovitz?

What are you doing, man?

You spook my horses, I'm not responsible for what happens.

Just need a minute of your time.

Well, that's all I got.

I'm supposed to be at a wedding.

Of course, the bride's just going to complain the horse smells, but... Your wife is dead.

What?

She was murdered.

(sighs)

Are you sure it's Wendy?

Yeah, we're sure.

(trembling sigh) I don't believe this.

You two were separated, right? Temporary.

We had some troubles. Why?

What kind of troubles? This.

I wasn't crazy about this whole wedding thing.

Sounds like you still aren't.

Hey, I'm a horse trainer by trade, okay?

I belong on a ranch.

But we were working it out. Right.

You must feel kind of foolish in this outfit.

Is that why you beat her up? What?

I never laid a hand on Wendy. I loved her.

Found this picture on her computer.

It said, if anything happens, go find her husband.

Sh-she didn't mean me.

It's her first husband.

It's Tom Barry. After their divorce, Wendy took out a restraining order.

She put in one of those fancy alarm systems, okay, man?

This guy, he was a piece of work.

You know where I can find him? Yeah.

Hillmount Cemetery-- he was killed in a bar fight last year.

Have you talked to that rich b*st*rd Erickson?

Erickson? Yeah.

He freaked Wendy out the other day.

He shows up at her place, he's screaming at her, he's saying she's over budget, he's-he's tossing stuff around.

Anyway, Wendy was scared.

If that b*st*rd hurt her, I don't care how rich he is...

I'll handle it.

(sighs) If there's anything that I can do...

I'll let you know.

EDISON: Okay, okay, how's it coming?

Ticktock, ticktock.

Um, speaking clock doesn't really help.

Look, I'm sorry-- Dr. Saroyan is breathing down my neck.

Is there anything I can tell her?

I can tell you what it isn't. So can I-- it's not a toaster.

But she needs an "is" and not an "isn't."

Okay, look... I want to get out of here as much as she does.

I have to make this Valentine's Day one to remember, in case I forget one in the future. Look, I understand.

Nora's waiting on me, too.

Do you know this woman is now calling me, talking low and breathy on the phone?

It is making it very difficult to concentrate on my work.

Really? Oh, yeah.

All right. All right.

I thought it might be a moth or a butterfly, but then the cells would have membranes, and these don't.

They have ridged, polarized walls, which means it's some sort of vegetation.

So I'll run a capillary electrophoresis and get back to you. I'll tell her.

Hey, um, before you go...

I really need to nail this Valentine's Day thing.

Can you give me a little feedback? Sure.

I'm honored you asked me.

Cool.

Mmm.

(gasps)

Oh, wow, that...

What-what is it?

It's an Egyptian tear vase.

A Valentine's Day tear vase? Yeah.

Hmm. They gave them to the pharaoh's slaves when they were buried with him in the pyramid.

To cry into? Mmm.

'Cause they were so sad the pharaoh was gone.

Oh, I'm thinking they were crying because they were slaves and they're being buried alive.

Angela saw it right here in the gift shop.

She thought it was so cool.

You know, this is almost 5,000 years old.

The Jeffersonian gift shop? Yeah.

Dr. Hodgins, no. Mmm.

She liked it. Mmm, no, mmm, no, no, no, no, no, no and no.

That's not for Valentine's Day.

Okay. Cam already nixed the earrings that I bought her.

What is left? Look, I know I haven't been that close to you all, but I have observed quite a bit.

And? Angela doesn't care about things.

Remember that poem you wrote her?

"I am not to speak to you, "I am to think of you.

"When I sit alone, "awake at night, alone, "I am to see to it that I do not lose you."

She repeated that ad nauseam.

I mean, it was like a Kool and the Gang song.

Man, I couldn't get it out of my head.

That was Walt Whitman.

Oh, who cares? She didn't know that.

Look, it's from the heart, Dr. Hodgins.

Just give her something that only you can give her.

Trust me, that's why Nora still calls me breathing heavy on the phone after three years of being together.

Thanks, Clark.

Sure.

Oh, and remember, Dr. Saroyan needs to know what those ridged cell walls are now.

(laughing): Tear vase!

(sighs, whispers): Oh, man.

Oh, there she is.

Cam.

Hey.

Hello, beautiful lady who works with the dead.

Oh, my God.

And hello, handsome man who works with...

You're a gynecologist, Paul-- I shouldn't finish that.

Yeah, I... understand.

Listen, uh, I know it's wrong to bother you at work, but I saw these flowers, thought of today, and you.

I just lost control.

And I'm glad you did. (chuckles) Yeah.

So I hope nothing here is going to prevent you from... No.

Just a little murder, is all.

A child could solve it. And I have another doctor covering for me, so... we are set.

We are set.

I won't kiss you in the workplace, 'cause... I'm also a professional, but let's just close our eyes and take a moment to think about how great it would be if we did kiss.

Okay, then.

Very nice. Yeah.

Should keep us going till dinner. Yeah.

I'll see you.

Can't wait.

(sighs)

Dr. Hodgins is making progress.

And you? Progress.

Beautiful roses. Cut the small talk, Dr. Edison.

Just move your ass and solve this case.

I think we can get it all in one load.

BOOTH: Yeah, really stupid holiday when you think about it.

The only memorable thing that ever happened on February 14 was the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

No, not the only thing-- James Polk, in 1849, was the first president to have his photograph taken.

Okay. And Oregon was accepted into the Union in 1859.

Bones, I get it. Alexander Graham Bell applied for his telephone patent on the 14th.

None of those things scream romance.

That's all I'm saying. Oh, yes, I know, but Cam and the others seem quite invested in the idea.

Well, they can have it, right?

Right.

Right.

A budget is a budget, Raina.

We're rich!

What does it matter if I want another kind of wine?

Yeah, we're rich because I don't piss away our money.

Tell her it's not in the budget.

Well, sir, I haven't seen the final figures, so we...

Did you not hear me?

It turns out it's not in the budget.

It is my wedding day, for God sakes.

I want that wine!

Wendy said it's like love in a bottle. Sweetheart, I have been married four times.

It's ridiculous to spend all this money on a wedding when it's probably not going to last anyway.

I hate you.

Excuse me, Mr. Erickson?

May we have a word?

I'm kind of in the middle of marrying off my kid here.

FBI. Have a few questions about Wendy Bovitz.

Yeah. Yeah, so do I.

Haven't heard from the bitch in days.

BOOTH: Wow.

BRENNAN: Uh, you didn't tell them that your boss is dead?

Wendy's dead?

HARGROVE: I just didn't want to darken her special day... like you just did.

If you'll excuse me, I need to speak to the caterer.

When was the last time you saw Wendy Bovitz?

I don't know. A couple days ago, I guess.

We were told that you went to her house.

Yeah, I like to do business face-to-face.

And there was a heated exchange face-to-face. She was going over budget; she was taking advantage of me.

She was promising Raina some sort of crazy-ass expensive orchids.

I don't like to be taken advantage of.

RAINA: Look, I'm sorry Wendy's dead, but...

I'm getting married tonight.

Can we do all this after? Sweetheart, go play with your dress, or whatever you women do before you get hitched.

RAINA: I hate you.

So... sounds like I need a lawyer.

(phone rings) Yeah. You do.

Brennan.

I did a closer examination of the fractured fingers you discovered.

One showed a dislocation at the articular capsule.

Indicating a struggle.

Exactly.

And Dr. Saroyan found epithelial cells under one of the fingernails.

Enough for a DNA profile?

Yeah, she just needs a suspect to compare it to.

Okay, thanks.

I'm going to need a DNA sample, Mr. Erickson.

I just need to swab the inside of your cheek.

You do see I'm looking at you now, right?

Yes. In fact, I can see my reflection in your cornea.

Good.

Then, let's be clear-- that's never, ever going to happen.

Right. Okay, thank you.

Yeah, so do you want the good news first or the bad news?

Is the order at all relevant?

Ah, some, you know, people-- they like to get the bad news first so, you know, the conversation ends in happiness.

All right, then, what's the bad news?

Well, the court refuses to compel a... a, uh, DNA sample from Erickson based on what we have so far.

(phone ringing)

Do you mind? It... it's not work-related.

Go right ahead.

Brennan.

I'll be right here.

Oh, uh, for Valentine's Day?

Oh. Valentine's Day, huh?

A Secret Service agent from my gym.

Of course.

(laughs)

No, uh, it's not my mother.

Wait. He thinks that you're my mother.

Okay, look, I'm not her mother.

Okay, I-I don't have a mother.

Could I phone you back to tell you no?

Thanks.

All right. What's the good news so that we may end this conversation on a happy note?

Erickson has a son in prison for insider trading.

Why is that good news? It seems the entire family is degenerate.

Bones, it's good news because that means his son's DNA is on file with CODIS.

Right, so Cam can compare it to the sample from the victim's fingernails and see if there are sufficient alleles in common to match his dad.

You see, always start with the bad news first, then go to the good news.

You happy now?

It's good news. You happy?

I'm happy.

Hey. I'm checking...

I know. Ticktock, ticktock.

Look, could you tell Dr. Saroyan that I am going as fast as I can?

And you can assure her that my ass is indeed moving.

(chuckles) Yeah, I guess we're just all a little on edge.

Yeah, I'm casting a mold of the bone damage to determine the murder weapon.

And how long is that going to take?

Longer than it's going to take Dr. Hodgins to analyze the weapon's chemical composition from the micro-slice of bone I removed at the terminus.

Right.

So you want me to leave and hurry along Hodgins rather than you? Yes.

But could I ask a personal question first?

Absolutely.

Okay. You're a woman with a very open mind.

Is this going to get creepy?

No, no. Absolutely not, I hope.

Okay. Okay, look.

Nora sent me a text with a request for Valentine's Day.

Oh, and you're wondering whether I can cover for you so you can go and pick up the gift, right?

No. If Cam finds out about this, Clark, I could get the rack.

No, no, no. I'm not going anywhere.

The request wasn't for something that I can go buy or reserve or...

Oh, really?

Well, I'm intrigued.

It's the first time I have ever felt hesitant about giving Nora what she wants.

Can I say no?

I mean, I never have before.

Is it illegal?

No, of course not.

Will it hurt? Good God, no.

And you love her?

More than anything.

Well, then, show her.

I guarantee you, that's the only thing she really wants.

So what is it?

Thank you for all your help, Ms. Montenegro.

Erickson is a self-made man.

Never finished high school, took courses in welding, built his business from the ground up.

Now he is the leading supplier of shelving on the Eastern Seaboard.

That's very impressive.

Yeah, but the thing about self-made men is that they're often extremely insecure and egomaniacal.

Right.

That means that they can be really self-defensive.

They want everyone to do exactly what they say.

What, like kill 'em when they don't?

He lacks compassion.

He tends to fire employees once they reach a certain pay grade.

All right. Sweets, did he kill her?

His daughter's wedding, lots of tension-- yeah, yeah, a man like Erickson could snap under that kind of pressure.

What are you doing for Valentine's?

Hey, what does that have to do with anything?

Nothing. Just being friendly.

Yeah, well, don't be.

You know, Daisy has something special planned for me, and I got her...

That's nice, and a good afternoon to you, too. Enjoy.

...bouquet of daisies.

What is it?

At first, like you, I thought it was some sort of winged insect, right, maybe a butterfly.

What is it? But then I determined it was flora, not fauna.

What is it?

It's oncidium.

What is it?

Why do you keep saying that?

Because you won't tell me what it is.

It's an orchid blossom.

So... she was wearing an orchid in her hair?

Certainly a possibility, but she also could have been smacked on the head.

With an orchid? I'm guessing, so don't tell Dr. Brennan, but the father of the bride was furious when the flower budget was exceeded, and these oncidium-- they cost, baby.

And by "baby," I mean "Dr. Saroyan."

So you're saying the father of the bride got mad, tossed an orchid at her, then stabbed her, then shoved her into the tanning bed?

I can see it.

Could happen.

Good. Now, one other thing: everything I get Angela is wrong.

What do I do? Oh, Dr. Hodgins, we've got a deadline.

Yeah, and your deadline for Valentine's is the exact same as my deadline.

Now, I am doing everything I can to help you make your deadline for Valentine's.

Now, why won't you help me?

Look at me-- I'm desperate here.

You're right.

Thank you. Thank you.

(sighs)

Dr. Hodgins, look around you.

I mean, you may have the most beautiful room in the Jeffersonian, aside from the molds and "fungis" and creepy-crawlies.

Are you telling me that there isn't something here that you've worked on that wouldn't make a great gift?

Are you just trying to get me to stay at work?

Dr. Saroyan, I think there's something you're going to want to see.

I am insulted that you would think I'm so self-serving.

(sighs)

This might help get you out of here very quickly.

Sounds good. I'm ready.

Now, I came in looking for you and couldn't help but look at your monitor.

I see-- you've arranged them for me.

Mm-hmm. These are the DNA results of the tissue found under the victim's fingernails, and that's Erickson Jr.'s DNA profile off CODIS.

They match.

Now, if I was petty as, uh, Dr. Hodgins, I would just crown myself King of the Lab.

Not so fast, Dr. Edison.

Bones are your thing, not DNA.

This is not a match.

But the DNA samples share 65% of their profile at each locus, indicating that they are immediate relatives.

Yes, that's true.

(sighs)

Okay, that's a "yes, that's true, but..."

But it's not the father of the bride.

It's not Warren Erickson.

The DNA shows that the skin under the victim's fingernails is female.

Oh. Well, then, it's the mother of the bride.

The mother of the bride's been deceased for seven years.

It's the bride.

I need to get dressed.

Cannot believe you people keep ruining my wedding day.

A woman has been murdered, Raina.

And that's bad-- I know-- but I'm still alive, and this is supposed to be the most wonderful day of my life.

Well, I'll tell you what.

You can answer our questions here or we can take you downtown.

It's up to you.

RAINA (sighing): Okay. Okay.

Ask.

All right. Why'd you go over to Wendy's house?

What?

I didn't.

Your DNA was found under her fingernails.

You mean that DNA stuff is really true?

Yeah.

Well, I went there.

She said she was available anytime and that all she wanted was for me to have the most wonderful wedding in the world.

And you fought. Yes.

My dad had gone there to tell her to pull the orchids and the wine, and I wanted them, especially those orchids.

She still had the sample there.

BRENNAN: That must be how the flower petal got into her hair.

So I told her that I didn't care about my dad and she better find a way to get those freaking orchids on the tables or else.

Or else what? Or else...

I would call my father and have him hire a new wedding planner and she'd never get another penny.

She started screaming that she'd already laid out thousands and thousands of dollars, but I told her, "Tough crap."

Wow. That's aggressive.

Look, I don't like being that way.

It just runs in my family.

Anyway, I grabbed the phone to call my father, and Wendy tried to take it away from me, so we kind of got into it.

I pushed her and she scratched me, but we made up.

Because you got your orchids.

Look, I know I'm a bitch, but I am not a killer bitch.

HODGINS: So, any information from the microsil cast of the entry wound?

Well, I managed to use the ribs as well as the section of the spine to recreate the wound track.

Now, I took a photo of the cast and magnified the image.

Now, once I had the track, we could extrapolate the shape of the weapon, and with Angela's help, we could take all the elements that we discovered and render a 3-D visual of the murder weapon.

Great. What is it?

I have no idea.

Well, that's a letdown.

Yeah, I checked it against numerous databases and haven't found any weapons that match.

The rough edges suggest that it was hand-forged.

You know, it would help if you could tell me what the weapon was made from.

You're going to tell Dr. Saroyan that it's me that's holding this up, aren't you?

No.

Not unless absolutely necessary.

(chuckling): No.

No, you don't.

This will not be my fault.

BRENNAN: Hodgins got the results back on the trace found on the entry wound.

The weapon is made out of cast iron.

So what are you saying-- she was stabbed with a frying pan?

Hodgins couldn't find any weapon that is made out of cast iron.

(phone ringing)

Brennan.

Oh, uh, hello, Jean-Paul.

Jean-Paul?

Yes, that does sound wonderful, but I can't...

I-I can't go to Montreal tonight.

I'm sorry.

Okay, good-bye.

I find it a little bit insulting that they think I'd be available at the last minute.

Well, you are. Yes, but they don't know that, and it's by choice, like you.

It's a ridiculous holiday.

The banks don't even close. I agree with you there.

It is a ridiculous holiday. I think I'll just end up at the shooting range. I mean, it seems fitting.

In honor of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre?

I never thought of it that way, but yeah, yeah, that's right.

(phone ringing)

Sounds like fun.

Booth.

Okay, great.

So, Raina Erickson's alibi checks out.

She was at a bar with her girlfriend, getting in one last fling.

Cam wants to know if you have enough so she can leave.

I'm definitely close.

I found another password-protected file on Wendy's computer.

The articles of incorporation for Wendy's business.

So?

It gives her assistant, Darren, 50% ownership and-- get this-- rights of survivorship.

Wait a minute.

If Wendy dies, Darren gets the entire business for himself?

I don't know about you, but it says motive to me.

Yeah.

Look, Wendy was my friend, but she was also my meal ticket.

Well, it seems like your meal ticket left you an even bigger meal ticket, pal.

I'm sorry. What?

Wendy left you the business in her will.

Sh-she did? The... the whole thing?

Hey, are you aware that she recently transferred half the business to you?

(crying): Oh, my God.

That seemed very sincere.

Or he's just probably feeling guilty that he killed her.

Oh, she, um... she told me she had a surprise for me on, uh, Valentine's Day, but, wow, this is beyond sweet.

God, I loved that woman.

You've said that many times.

No, I loved her.

You know, loved her, loved her.

Like, uh, romantically.

Sexually.

Uh, I...

I was under the impression that you were a homosexual.

Oh, uh, yeah, I get that a lot.

I know I seem like Jane, but, nope, all Tarzan.

Been like this since I was a kid.

It's had precisely two advantages.

One: I got laid a lot in high school.

And the other is, uh, my career.

I'm a wedding planner.

I mean, I-I guess I could have been a choreographer, but you have to have talent for that.

So, is that why Wendy, uh, hired you?

Well, she hired me because I'm very good at the job, but, yes, she... assumed I was gay until one night, we, uh... we got into the champagne.

Well, gay, straight or in between, you definitely have the best motive.

Inheriting the company?

Very sweet, bu uh... well, let's face it.

Without Wendy, the company's not worth much.

(phone ringing)

She's the face, the personality.

I'm just the muscle.

BRENNAN: Booth? Yeah.

Hodgins and Angela sent a rendering of what the murder weapon looked like.

BOOTH: Wait a second.

That's... Pull that.

HARGROVE: Excuse me.

That's a $7,000...

Aha. Look at that, would you?

Almost had me going there for a second, pal.

Not anymore.

You are under arrest.

MONTENEGRO: In checking the victim's e-mails,

I found that someone else used her computer to check his e-mails 38 hours before you found the body.

That would have been very close to her time of her death. Who was it?

Greg Bovitz, the victim's estranged husband.

Bovitz already admitted to being there.

But did he admit to breaking into her computer?

It couldn't have been someone else?

Within 20 seconds of checking his own e-mail?

Did he get in? Yup.

He would have found that his wife gave away half the business to her business partner.

Hey, Bones.

Oh, there you are.

We found the victim's blood on the murder weapon, but Hodgins found something else.

Oh, what else?

An oily substance.

Anything more than that?

Take a look. Take a look.

Okay, I'm taking a look.

Really?

After all this time, you expect me to know what this stuff says?

It's a compound containing neat's-foot, Stockholm tar, saligari, silicone and eucalyptus oil. Those are all generic terms, and not at all scientific.

Don't make me beg.

What does this mean?

It's horse hoof oil. Oh.

The victim's estranged husband keeps horses.

He-he drives brides and grooms around in his carriage.

He killed her. Okay, I get it.

But this evidence is not enough to make an arrest, let alone convict.

But statistically, he's the only viable suspect.

Bones, any chance that your acting's gotten better in the last couple of years?

Oh, yes.

Who will I be playing?

Darren Hargrove's not gay?

(laughs) That's bull. He's totally gay.

Mmm, tell you what.

We're convinced that your wife was having an affair.

Yeah, I don't... I don't think so.

Do you think Darren killed her?

Oh, I have another theory.

What do you think is the number one motive in a murder?

Would it be money or jealousy?

I want a lawyer.

Fine.

Fine. You don't have to talk.

That's your right, but... you might want to listen.

Thank you, Bones.

This is the murder weapon.

BRENNAN: On the murder weapon is the same oil you use on your horse.

Anyone can buy horse oil.

Horse oil and...

Your DNA where you held it when you stabbed her.

BOOTH: Okay, tell you what.

You give us your DNA, maybe you're innocent.

If you don't, you're definitely guilty.

So what's it going to be?

This isn't fair.

What?

BRENNAN: I'm a law enforcement professional.

I've seen it all, but this... this isn't fair.

(sighs)

You're like Heathcliff.

Who's Heathcliff?

Heathcliff from... from Wuthering Heights.

Heathcliff was a real man, but misunderstood, forced to be something less.

The way you had to give up your dreams, to... to drive a carriage.

I...

I can only imagine what that is like.

Then, the woman you do all of that for-- she goes and gives her heart and the business to another man.

Not even a full man.

A half man.

It's him I should have killed.

Not Wendy.

I was very good.

(taps table) Damn good!

Damn good.

I-I lied about the DNA, too.

I was very good.

♪ I'm feelin' ♪ ♪ I wanna love you ♪ ♪ I want to love and treat you right ♪ ♪ I wanna love you ♪

Thank you.

♪ Every day and every night ♪ ♪ We'll be together ♪ ♪ With a roof over our heads ♪ ♪ To share the shelter... ♪

The flowers were enough, Paul.

Well...

(clears throat) Come here.

SAROYAN: Oh!

♪ That I'm feelin'... ♪

(laughs)

What can I say?

Happy Valentine's Day.

♪ Is this love that I'm feelin'? ♪

(laughs) Mmm, let's go.

(Paul laughs)

(indistinct chatter and laughter)

Something tells me this is not a box of chocolates.

No. Wait. Why?

Is that what you wanted?

You don't need to give me a gift.

No, I really, really do.

It's the only way I can show you what a gift you've been to me.

Oh, God. Have you been working on that one all day?

Pretty much. Okay, open your eyes.

It's-it's...

It's here. I, uh...

I made it myself.

Take a whiff.

Okay.

That smells like roses.

Yeah, it's a hybrid slime mold.

I spliced in a segment of rose DNA.

You made this? Yes.

It's called Angelicus montenegris, and it's going to be very famous in, you know, certain circles.

I should have gone with the tear vase, right?

(laughs)

♪ Is this love, is this love, is this love? ♪

I guess not.

♪ Is this love that I'm feelin'? ♪ ♪ That I'm feelin'? ♪

Clark, baby, are you okay in there?

Clark?

There's no Clark here, baby.

It is I, Cupid, god of love.

(grunts)

Oh, baby, this is going to be a happy, happy Valentine's Day.

♪ Love ♪ ♪ Love, love... ♪

Oh, no. You have your bow.

Mm-hmm.

Where's your arrow?

Do you really need to ask?

(laughing)

♪ Love that I'm feelin'? ♪ ♪ That I'm feelin'? ♪

♪ Is this love? ♪

I love you.

♪ Is this love, is this love? ♪ ♪ Is this love that I'm feelin'? ♪ ♪ Mmm ♪ ♪ Is this love? ♪ ♪ Love, love... ♪

Bones, what are you doing here?

This is my Valentine's Day gift to you.

Come on, Bones.

I told you.

Just open it.

What is it?

Just open it.

No.

What?!

(laughs) Always wanted to fire one of these.

Well, you told me that Valentine's was all about the Valentine's Day Massacre for you, so I thought...

Is this a good idea?

I got them from the Roaring '20s exhibit.

Great idea. (laughs)

Ah, you ready, Bones? Ready.

Ah. Take that, you dirty rat!

(rapid gunfire)

Yeah, take that, you dirty rat!

(laughs)

I made it, Ma! Top of the world!

Happy Valentine's Day Massacre, Booth.

Take that!

(rapid gunfire)

Ah! Yeah!