Terror Tales of the Park II

Part 1
(We begin in Skips' car, driving through the woods. The eight groundskeepers are all dressed in Halloween costumes.)

Muscle Man: (dressed like a president, most likely Abe Lincoln) Man, I can't wait to get to the party. (to HFG, wearing a fake mustache) It's going to be all like "What's up, Mr. President?" (He laughs. He and HFG then hi-five each other.) You know who else is like "What's up, Mr. President?" My mom!

Benson: (dressed like pirate) Muscle Man, enough.

Pops: (dressed like mummy) Do you think they'll have snacks?

Mordecai: (dressed like Frankenstein's monster) It's the biggest Halloween party in town, Pops. They'll have all the candy you can eat.

Rigby: (dressed like Beef Burrito) Yeah, but all the good stuff will be gone before will get there! This drive is taking forever!

Benson: The map says it should be right around here.

Muscle Man: Stop reading the map wrong, Thomas! You're gonna get us lost!

Thomas: (dressed like Lone Ranger) I don't even have the map!

Muscle Man: You shut it, Thomas! What did I tell you about talking to me?

Benson: Leave him alone, Muscle Man, he's just an intern. It's bad enough he doesn't get paid.

Thomas: Wait, you guys are getting paid?

Skips: (dressed like Dracula) Benson, you sure you know where we're going? I haven't seen a house for miles!

Benson: It's fine, I know what I'm doing. (flips his eyepatch to other eye)

Rigby: (groans) I'm dying of boredom back here.

Pops: We could pass the time with a game of "I Spy".

Rigby: No way. You got carsick the last time we played that.

Mordecai: I know! (in signature word stretch) How about some scary stories?

Rigby: Yeah-yuh!

Benson: No. Pops can't handle it.

Pops: Oh nonsense, I'll be fine.

Benson: Okay. (to Mordecai and Rigby) But if he gets scared, you two are in serious trouble.

Rigby: Yeah, yeah.

Mordecai: All right. It all started at the Bowling Alley on a dark and stormy night.

Payback
(Fade to Stardust Lanes. Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost, and Steve, Mordecai's uncle, are playing a free-for-all bowling match. Mordecai bowls a strike.)

Mordecai: WHOAAAAA!? That's game! (Rigby, Muscle Man and HFG mumble to themselves.)

Uncle Steve: Yeah, you show them how you roll them, Mordy. Heyyyyy!

Mordecai: (laughs nervously) Yeah, thanks, Uncle Steve.

Muscle Man: Man, forget this! You already won three games in a row! (points back to Uncle Steve) Plus, your weirdo uncle is making me uncomfortable with his lame tie.

Uncle Steve: Just dressing for the occasion, man, don't act like you're jealous of this. (He pulls his tie and it lights up.)

Muscle Man: Come on, Fives, let's bail.

Rigby: Yeah, let's go, Mordecai.

Mordecai: Aw, come on, one more game. Or are you guys afraid to lose?

Muscle Man: No way, bro.

Rigby: Oh, it is on.

Mordecai: Ha ha, yeah-a. Uncle Steve, you down to play another game?

Uncle Steve: I don't know Mordy, I'm kinda low on fundage. This tie wasn't cheap, you know.

Mordecai: It's cool, Uncle Steve, I got five bucks.

Uncle Steve: Oh no, Mordy, I couldn't.

Mordecai: Don't worry about it, you can pay me back later. I know you're good for it.

Uncle Steve: Okay, I promise I'll get you back.

Mordecai: (He hands Uncle Steve his five bucks.) Yeah-a, game on! Uh-uh-uh-uh! Hee-hee! (He then bumps into Uncle Steve and his tie gets stuck in the ball return.)

Uncle Steve: Oh no, my tie!

Mordecai: Uncle Steve! (Uncle Steve then gets sucked into the ball return, but cuts to the next scene where it shows a tree branch being fed into a wood chipper and shows Mordecai and Rigby at Uncle Steve's grave.) I can't believe he's gone. This is all my fault! If I hadn't pressured everybody to play that extra game, my uncle would still be alive.

Rigby: Ah, don't talk like that man. Life just does its thing, you know? If I were you, I'll be more upset about losing the five bucks. (He gets punched by Mordecai) Ow!

Mordecai: Not helping, dude. (We now go back to the house, and we see Mordecai in his bed) My fault... It's all my fault. (We now see inside Mordecai's dream where he is with Uncle Steve who Mordecai is handing five bucks to him like what happened before) Yeah-a! Hee-hee! (He bumps into Uncle Steve and gets sucked into the ball return like before.) Uncle Steve!

Uncle Steve: Mordy, why did you have to play another gameeeeeeeeee! (He then is disintegrated.)

Mordecai: Noooooooooo! (He wakes up) Rigby? (Then he sees undead Uncle Steve, and screams. He then rubs his eyes, hoping it was just an illusion. Going into bathroom to wash his face, he sees Uncle Steve in the mirror.) Get a hold of yourself, Mordecai, all the guilt is making you see things. It’s not real, it’s not real. (He glances up and sees Uncle Steve in the mirror again.) Ahh! (Runs down hall into living room where all the portraits turn into Uncle Steve.) Rigby, I can't stop seeing my dead uncle!

Rigby: Ahh. Me either.

Uncle Steve: Mordy...

Mordecai and Rigby: Ahh! (Uncle Steve lights his tie up...) Ahh! Ahh! (...As he crawls out the television set...) Ahh!? (Mordecai and Rigby run out of the house.)

Rigby: Dude! I thought your uncle was dead!

Mordecai: He is! (Uncle Steve is seen running after Mordecai and Rigby.)

Uncle Steve: Mordy...

Rigby: (Mordecai and Rigby run into cemetery) Did we lose him? (They trip onto Uncle Steve’s grave.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Ahhh!

Uncle Steve: (Coughs) Mordy, hey I bet you thought I forgot. Well here you go. (Gives Mordecai money.)

Mordecai: Uhhhhhh...

Rigby: Dude, it's your five bucks!

Uncle Steve: Hey, a promise is a promise.

Mordecai: Uh, thanks, Uncle Steve.

Uncle Steve: Ah, no problem. Take care now.

(Steve then burrows into the dirt. End of "Payback".)

Mordecai: The end.

Benson: What’s wrong with you!?!?

Mordecai: What?

Benson: Just look at Pops!

Pops: (Scared) Oh, it’s all right, I’m fine really. (Shaking) (Phone Rings) Ah!

Rigby: Pops, chill. It's just the phone.

Mordecai: I’m gonna take this. (answers phone) Hello?

Margaret: Mordecai!

Mordecai: Oh, hey Margaret.

Margaret: We just got to the party. Are you inside?

Mordecai: No, actually we’re still driving. We got a little lost.

Margaret: Ahh man, that’s a bummer.

Mordecai: It's cool though, we’ve been telling scary stories.

Margaret: Hey, I’ve got a good one, put me on speaker phone. (Mordecai puts Margaret on speaker phone.)

Mordecai: Hey, Margaret's gonna tell a story. (Mordecai puts Margaret on speaker phone.)

Benson: It'd better not be scary!

Margaret: Don't worry, it's a funny one. It all started we were getting into the cart to go to a Halloween movie.

Party Bus
(The story starts off with Mordecai, Rigby, Margaret, and Eileen getting into the cart dressed up in costumes.)

Mordecai: Aw yeah-a! Halloween movie time.

Rigby: Shotgun!

Benson: Ah, ah. What do you think you're doing?

Rigby: Going to the movies.

Benson: No you're not, we need that cart to patrol delinquents T.P'ing the park.

Mordecai: But Margaret's car is in the shop. How are we gonna get to the theater?

Benson: Not my problem.

(A duo of punks appear out of nowhere. They've already toilet-papered the trees.)

Teenager 1: Ha, ha. Trick or treat, losers.

Teenager 2: Yeah, trick or treat, losers.

Benson: Let's roll. (Benson and Skips drive the cart, and leave the scene.)

Margaret: I guess that's it. There's no way we'll make it there in time now.

Mordecai: What? We can't give up yet.

Eileen: Yeah, I'll call a taxi.

Mordecai: There's still some time. We'll probably just miss the previews.

Eileen: (on phone) Thank you. (Hangs up the phone) They said ten minutes.

(A bus shows up.)

Mordecai: That was fast.

Rigby: I thought you said you called a taxi.

Bus Driver: Need a ride?

Mordecai: Uh, could you takes to the movie theater downtown?

Bus Driver: We'll take you wherever you need to go. Climb aboard the party bus, and join the party.

Rigby: Cool!

(Rigby and Eileen run inside the bus.)

Mordecai: See, nothing to worry about.

Margaret: Yeah.

(Mordecai and Margaret walk inside the bus and we see a sign on the bus that says "The Party's Killer". The bus drives out of the park, and see a taxi pull up.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoaaa.

(We see other people on the bus partying.)

Party guy 1: Welcome, fellow citizens, to the party bus!

All party people: Party bus!

Mordecai: Ha, ha. Whooooooooo!

Rigby: Yeah-a!

Eileen: Sweet!

(Mordecai and Eileen are dancing, and Rigby is eating snacks.)

Mordecai: Margaret!

Margaret: This is crazy!

Mordecai: I know, right?

Eileen: Come on! (Margaret laughs) There's some great costumes in here!

Margaret: Yeah, there must have been a huge sale on white wigs or something.

Mordecai: Soda?

Margaret: Thanks. (gasp) Mordecai, look! (Mordecai and Margaret notice a couple of people getting older.) Are they all right?

Party guy 1: Oh, yeah, they're cool. Just partied a little too hard, I guess.

Mordecai: Pfft! Ha, ha.

Margaret: Oh! Heh.

Party guy 1: Party bus! Party bus!

Mordecai: Yeah! (laughs) See? Isn't this great?

Margaret: You're right. Party bus!

Mordecai: Yea-uh!

(While the four continue dancing, Margaret notices that that they passed the movie theater.)

Margaret: Hey! He's passing the movie theater. Driver, stop the bus! Let us off! Stop the bus! (The bus driver just ignores her, and turns up the music.) Ugh. Mordecai, the bus isn't stopping!

Party guy 1: (elder voice) You can't stop now, the party's just getting started.

Mordecai: You don't look so good, man.

Rigby: Yeah, how long have you been here?

Party guy 1: Fifteen...minutes. (He then disintegrates, and the four scream in shock.)

Margaret: Those weren't white wigs, everybody's getting older!

Eileen: (gasps) Mordecai, your face!

Mordecai: What? (Then we see him all wrinkled up.) Huh?

Margaret: (elder voice) You're getting older!

Mordecai: (elder voice) So are you! (We see Margaret now wrinkled up. And Rigby is starting to get wrinkled up, and Eileen takes off her glasses while she is all wrinkled up.) We need to get off this bus now! Stop the bus, stop the bus!

Bus Driver: You can't stop the party bus once it's started. Right,everybody? (The four look behind them showing that all the citizens are now turned into dust, and now Mordecai, Rigby, Margaret, and Eileen are now in shock.) What's that saying again? Party till you drop! (His wrappings around get taken off, revealing that he's a skeleton, while he laughs evilly.)

Mordecai, Rigby, Margaret and Eileen: (elder voice) Ahhhhhhhh!

(The Bus Driver speeds the bus up, and the gang get pushed away.)

Margaret: (elder voice) (to Eileen) Help me with the door. (The bus driver continues to laugh evilly.) It won't open!

Mordecai: (elder voice) Stop the bus! (He throws the bus driver and he breaks apart, while he still laughs. Then he gets in the driver seat, and stomps on the breaks, but the bus doesn't stop.) The brakes don't work!

Rigby: (elder voice) Try the emergency break!

(Mordecai pulls the emergency break, and it breaks off. Desperately searching around for another way, he shifts the stick into reverse and the bus stops, which results with the dust from all the citizens on the bus to land on Rigby, Margaret, and Eileen.)

Mordecai: (elder voice) Well, at least we still--.

(The bus starts going again but goes in reverse.)

Margaret: (elder voice) Why did you put it in reverse?

Mordecai: (elder voice) It was the only thing I could think of!

Rigby: (He looks at his hands, returning to the gang's real age.) Guys, look!

Margaret: We're getting younger!

(But the de-aging doesn't stop, since the bus is still in motion. The gang starts shrinking, turning them younger until they're kids again.)

Mordecai: (younger voice) We gotta get off this bus!

Eileen: (younger voice) Guys look, an emergency hatch! (Eileen points at a hatch in the roof.)

Mordecai: (younger voice) Come on, everybody up! (Rigby opens the hatch. Mordecai lifts everyone on top of the bus, but when Mordecai finally gets out, he notices they all have turned into babies.)

Rigby, Margaret and Eileen: (younger voice) Now what?

Mordecai: (younger voice) We gotta jump! (The gang holds each other's hands, and then they all jump off of the bus, giggling.) We did it! We got off the party bus.

Mordecai, Rigby, Margaret and Eileen: (younger voice) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(They all pop out of existence. As the Party Bus falls apart, the bus driver's maniacal laughter is heard. End of "Party Bus".)

(The driver's laughter is quickly replaced with Margaret's.)

Rigby: Uh, was that supposed to be funny?

Margaret: Yeah, "The party's killer". Get it? (Pops is trembling and Benson gets angry) Mordecai? You there?

Mordecai: Um, I gotta go. I'll see you there. (Hangs up the phone)

Benson: That's it, no more stories from anyone.

Mordecai and Rigby: Aw, what?

Rigby: Come on, Benson, don't act like this is our fault. If you haven't gotten us lost, we wouldn't be telling stories, now would we?

Benson: DON'T MAKE ME MAKE SKIPS TURN THIS VAN AROUND!

Rigby: Skips, don't make Benson make you turn this van around! I have to go to this party, I just have to!

Skips: Hey, knock it off or I'll--.

(A truck gets in the gang's way, there is a close up of them screaming. We then cut to black. End of "Terror Tales of the Park II, Part 1")

Part 2
(A tow truck pulls Skips' car out of a tree, the group's alive! But not all of them are happy.)

Benson: I hope you two are proud of yourselves, look where your "scary stories" got us now!

Rigby: Hey! Skips should've watched where he was going!

Benson: JUST GET IN THE TOW TRUCK!

Rigby: Okay! Okay!

Benson: Listen, there's a party we need to get to, do you mind dropping us off?

Tow Truck Guy: No problem, chief.

(The gang get on the road again, till they get stuck in traffic.)

Rigby: This is going to take forever! Anyone got another story?

Mordecai: Yeah-ah!

Benson: Are you kidding me? We just got in an accident, Pops is scared half to death, and you want to tell more stories?!

Pops: Actually, I wouldn't mind hearing one more tale.

Muscle Man: Yeah, they've been pretty good.

Thomas: I'm down.

Skips: It would be nice to hear one while I'm not driving.

Rigby: See, Benson, even Skips wants to hear one!

Benson: Ugh! Okay! Okay! Okay! You all just have to hear one more story? Fine! But this time I'm telling the story!

Rigby: Aw, what?

Benson: Now pay attention, you just might learn something.

Wallpaper Man
(The story starts off with Mordecai and Rigby exiting their room, laughing)

Rigby: Pickles. (chuckles) (Benson throws wallpaper equipment at Mordecai and Rigby.) Whoa, watch it!

Mordecai: What's all this?!

Benson: You two are re-wallpapering the house today.

Mordecai: Aw, what?!

Rigby: Why?!

Benson: Because of that!

(We see a drawing of Rigby saying 'This job is like prison!' and a drawing of Mordecai saying 'I found a way out!' and pointing to a hole in the wall, and Mordecai and Rigby laugh.)

Rigby: Wait, how do you know it was us?!

(Benson groans)

Mordecai: Okay, okay, fine, we'll just patch up that one spot!

Benson: No, you can't, because that wallpaper is discontinued, so you gotta do the whole house with this new stuff so it all matches!

Rigby: But we don't even know how to wallpaper walls!

Benson: (throws instructions at Mordecai and Rigby) Just follow the instructions, and make it nice or you're doing it over again.

Rigby: You didn't have to throw the equipment at us!

Benson:(Off-screen) Yes, I did!

Rigby: No, no, no! Step 5A: Smooth the glue paste before applying the paper, 5B: Smooth the paper and apply the glue paste.

Mordecai: Wait, what?

Rigby: Gah! I don't know, man! These don't make any sense.

Mordecai: Agh! I hate wallpapering! I just wish we could get someone else to do it.

(The TV slides into the hallway with them.)

Jan: Do you hate wallpapering, trying to do it yourself, but the instructions just don't make sense?

Mordecai: Did you turn on the TV?

Rigby: No.

Jan: Hi. I'm Jan, the wallpaper man. I'm here to do away with all your wallpaper problems, and believe me, I've been there. Nobody likes wallpapering, not even me! I've just been doing it for over 40 years and have gotten pretty darn good at it, so let me deal with all the headaches for you.

Rigby: Yeah if only we had a million bucks!

Jan: (Off-screen) Now you're probably thinking "Yeah, if only we had a million bucks!" And normally, you'd be right! (Cuts to TV) But with Jan the wallpaper man, the first job's free!!

Mordecai & Rigby: Wwwhhhaatttt???

Jan: That's right. I'll wallpaper your whole house for free, but in return I only ask that for your next wallpaper job, you call old Jan here first. (Cuts Off-screen) A free job for first dibs on your second job, now that sounds like a good deal, right!? (Cuts to TV) So call 555-01WALLPAPERMAN and I'll wallpaper your house, I really will! (TV turns off)

Muscle Man: Why is the TV in the hallway?

Mordecai: Hey Muscle Man, do you ever order stuff off the TV?

Muscle Man: Oh for sure! Especially if it's a local business. I once bought some sweet old-replica hand grenades from this old army dude off the TV, and it turns out they were the real deal!

Mordecai: What? No way!

Muscle Man: Remember when the shed exploded last week and I told you it was lightning?

Rigby: Yeah it wasn't even raining.

Muscle Man: Exactly. I'm getting a second shipment today. I'm telling you, local TV dudes always come through for you.

(Cuts to the front of the house. The doorbell rings and Mordecai opens the door.)

Jan: Hi there. Jan the wallpaper man.

Mordecai: Oh great. Come in, Come in.

Jan: Well okay.

(Jan enters the house)

Mordecai: So this is it, you'll do the whole house, right?

Rigby: For free, right?

Jan: Yes, yes, the whole house for free.

Rigby: We don't even have to tip you?

Jan: Nope, nope, nothing like that. I promise.

Mordecai: Ha ha, great.

Jan: And it's just you two here?

Rigby: Ah, no, there bunch of people out of this place. Should we clear everyone out?

Jan: Oh, no, no, that's fine. I'll deal with them if I see them.

Mordecai: Well, we got some important video games to play. So we'll leave you to it. (Mordecai and Rigby going upstars.)

Jan: Okay, thank you, sirs! I'll be done in no time.

(Three hours later. Mordecai and Rigby playing video game it says "Game Over".)

Rigby: Augh!

Mordecai:Let's take a break.

Rigby: I can't feel my thumbs.

Mordecai: (sighs) Let's go check and see that wallpaper guy's done. (He and Rigby open the door and see the wallpaper. It's a peculiar red and deep purple color.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa!

Rigby: Nice! Check out this new wall shine.

Mordecai: Dude, this is the best idea we've ever had.

Rigby: Let's check out the rest of our house.

(Suddenly, they hear Pops scream in terror.)

Mordecai and Rigby: POPS!

(The two rush to the staircase and see Jan putting up wallpaper over Pops.)

Pops: (panicked mumbling)

Mordecai: Stop! What are you doing?

(Jan turns at them and hisses. He now has pointed teeth. He then scampers up the walls and into the next room.)

Mordecai: Are you okay? What happened? (He pulls down the wallpaper.)

Pops: I don't know! I was just heading to the kitchen for an ice lolly when that man fell upon me.

Rigby: This guy must be nuts!

Mordecai: We gotta get him outta here before Benson sees.

(A scream is heard.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Benson!!!

(They all turn a corner and enter the kitchen, but everything is covered in wallpaper. everything seems to lead off into darkness. Mordecai is confused.)

Rigby: What did that guy do?

Benson (O/S):  HELP!!

Mordecai: Come on. (They all hurry down the hallway.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Benson!!!

(They come to a point where the hallway splits up in different directions.)

Mordecai: Come on. (They head down one of the paths. Mordecai realizes they've come to a dead end.) Aaagh! We gotta go back. Go back!

(They race back to the junction point and head down another path. They come to a point where this path splits up into two. Mordecai looks left, then right, then left again. He sees Jan scurry past, laughing wickedly.)

Mordecai: HEY!

Benson (O/S): Help!

Pops: Benson!!!

Mordecai: Okay, you and Pops go find Benson. I'm going after the wallpaper man.

Rigby: Come on, Pops.

(Mordecai is in pursuit of Jan, who is crawling along the ceiling.)

Mordecai: HEY! STOP!

Rigby: Benson? Hello?

Pops: Oh, I don't like this at all.

Rigby: Shh. Quiet, Pops.

(Rigby and Pops listen for a moment.)

Benson (O/S): Help!

Rigby: Benson, we're coming! (They hurry down the hall.)

(Mordecai is still chasing Jan. Jan suddenly stops and straightens up at a dead end. The wall suddenly opens up, and he runs through it. The wall closes up and curves to the left.)

Mordecai: Whoa...

Rigby: We must be getting close.

Pops: Benson!!!

(Pops and Rigby suddenly bump into Mordecai.)

Mordecai: What the...

Rigby: Aaagh! We're getting nowhere!

Pops: Look!

(Pops points at the wall. It opens up to reveal another passageway. Then the other walls box them in.)

Mordecai: I think it wants us to go this way. Come on.

Pops: I think we're growing.

Mordecai: No. The hall's getting smaller. What the...? (Feels the wall.) It's an optical illusion. Go back.

Pops: (gasps)

Rigby: No, no, no! I can't stand small spaces!

Mordecai: Okay, just calm down.

Rigby: I need air! I can't breathe!

Mordecai: You can breathe. Don't panic!

Rigby: I need to get outta here! Aaagh! (Starts panicking.)

Mordecai: Aw, stop! Rigby!!! (Rigby starts scratching at the walls and ends up ripping right through the wallpaper.

Mordecai: Whoa...

Benson (O/S): Help!

Mordecai: Hold on, Benson! Come on, let's go.

(The three of them start ripping through the wallpaper until they finally happen upon a cavern.)

Rigby: Are we still in the house?

Benson: Hey! Help!

(Benson, Skips, Muscle Man, and a delivery guy are all wrapped up in wallpaper and are hanging from the ceiling.)

Rigby: Whoa...

Mordecai: Are you guys okay?

Benson: Do we look okay? Hurry up and get us down from here.

Rigby: Who's that guy?

Delivery Guy: I was just trying to deliver a package to Mitch Sorrenstein. I don't wanna die! (sobs)

Mordecai: Don't worry! we'll get... (Jan suddenly jumps in front of them and hisses menacingly.) Let our friends go, and then get out of our house!!!

(Mordecai, Rigby, and Pops all gasp in horror as Jan reveals himself to be a gigantic spider. Jan grabs Pops, wraps him up in "wallpaper silk" and hangs him from the ceiling.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Yaah!

(They start chucking rocks at Jan. They bounce right off of Jan, and one hits Benson.)

Benson: Watch it!

(Jan shoots a thread of silk at Mordecai and Rigby, but they dodge out of the way. Mordecai chuck another rock at Jan's head, but he ducks and it knocks Muscle Man down from the ceiling. Muscle Man escapes from the wrapping.

Muscle Man: Eeeyuh! I'm free. Eat on that, you eight-legged-- (Jan stabs Muscle Man with his leg.) Whatever. That didn't even hurt. If your job was to kill people, you'd probably get fired. Heh heh.

(Jan lifts Muscle Man up into the air.)

Muscle Man: Huh? Wha...? Hey! Don't even think about eating me, bro!

(Muscle Man lets out screaming cries as Jan swallows him in one gulp.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Muscle Man!!!

Benson: Help us! What are you waiting for?

(Mordecai and Rigby continue throwing rocks. One of them breaks open Skips' wrappings, and he falls and lands on his ankle, twisting it.)

Skips: My ankles!

(Pops is seen falling to the floor, and lands on his arm, hurting it.)

Pops: Uhh... My arm...

Benson: Great rescue. (Another rock breaks open Benson's wrappings. But he lands on both feet, unharmed.) You're gonna kill us before that spider gets the chance.

(The delivery guy lands in Benson's arms.)

Mordecai: Come on, let's go! We gotta get outta here!

Benson: No, you don't! You two are staying here!

Mordecai and Rigby: What??

Benson: You hired that thing. You fire it.

(Mordecai and Rigby glance over at Jan. He growls.)

Rigby: That spider's gonna kill us!

Benson: Not my problem!

(Mordecai and Rigby groan in frustration.)

Rigby: Okay! Listen up, Jan! (Jan steps forward.) You're fired! (Rigby shrieks and dodges as Jan attempts to spear Rigby with his leg.)

Mordecai: Dude, that was a metaphor! We need to stay and destroy him!

Rigby: What? Really?

(Jan roars and causes rocks to fall fro the ceiling. Several boulders land in front of the exit, blocking it.)

Rigby: Now what?

Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man's package!

Rigby: What? Muscle Man's package?

Mordecai: He was expecting a package of grenades! Just go get the box. I'll cover you.

(Mordecai throws rocks at Jan to try and distract him while Rigby goes for the package. Rigby grabs it, then rushes back to Mordecai.)

Rigby: Got it!

Mordecai: Open it! Open it!

Rigby: I can't... this stupid tape... (he tears the tape off, and the package pops open.) There.

(Jan suddenly grabs them both.)

Rigby: Great! So, what's the plan now? And aren't these just replica grenades?

Mordecai: No, Muscle Man said they were the real deal, remember?

Rigby: Oh, yeah!

Mordecai: Quick, pull out all the pins!

(They pull some of the pins from the grenades. Jan moves them closer to his mouth.)

Mordecai: Special delivery.

Rigby: Time to redecorate.

Mordecai: Wait, what?

Rigby: Time to redecorate. Because of all the wall—ahh, just throw it.

(They throw the package with the live grenades into Jan's mouth.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Whooooooooa!

Mordecai: Boom!

Rigby: Eat it, Jan!

Mordecai and Rigby: Ha ha! Yea-uh!

Rigby: Hey, hold on. How far away are we supposed to be before these things go off?

Mordecai: Wait, what?

(The scene cuts to outside, where Benson, Skips, Pops, and the delivery guy have made it out safely. Just then, the grenades go off and the house explodes, sending them all flying to the ground. Benson glances back up at the burning foundation. End of "Wallpaper Man".

Benson: The end.

Mordecai: Dude, that story was lame!

Rigby: Yeah, Benson, we're not even that dumb!

Benson: It's my story! I'll tell it how I want it!

Rigby: Listen up, everyone. I got a story about Benson.

Benson: No, you don't! No more stories, Rigby!

Tow Truck Guy: Party is just up ahead, chief.

(They almost made it to the party everyone cheers)

Benson: Ha! See? Great. We're almost there.

Rigby: Yeah, totally great. That means there's enough for me to tell the story to chose how dumb Benson is!

Benson: No, there isn't! Story time is over, Rigby!

Rigby: Once upon a time, Benson's so dumb!

Benson: No stories!

(Rigby and Benson begin to fight. Everyone tries to stop them, but Rigby pushes Benson and accidentally bumps into the Tow Truck Guy. The Tow Truck goes really fast and crashes into the tree. Everyone comes out of the house.)

Margaret: Are you okay?

Mordecai: (Coughing) Yeah, we're fine. Huh?

(They show their bodies, and they've become ghosts like High Fives.)

Mordecai: Aw, what?! We didn't survive the crash?!

Rigby: I guess not.

Benson: (Turning Red) UNBELIEVEABLE!!!!!! RIGBY, YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!

Rigby: (Slams Benson's hand) You can't fire me, I'm dead! (Whooping) PARTY!

(Everyone cheers and they enter the house. Benson is still outside.)

Benson: (Grunts) Why do I even bother?

Skips You're coming in?

Benson: (Grunts) Yeah, I guess.

(Benson goes inside the party. The camera goes up and shows the half moon and the episode ends.)