The Tenure Turbulence


 * Amy: Well. You'll always be an academic success, but I seriously question if you'll ever make any more friends.


 * Sheldon: My primary concern with being granted tenure is living with an insanely jealous roommate after the fact. Remind me to put a gun under my pillow. Or a chain saw.
 * Amy: Or you take advantage of your new found economic stability and move out, get a house, get married, start a family.
 * Sheldon: Or the chain saw.


 * Penny: So who do you have to smooze to get this deal?
 * Leonard: I'm not going to smooze anyone. I'm going to let my work speak for itself.
 * Penny: That's great. That takes a lot of integrity.
 * Leonard: I'm a naive idiot, right?
 * Penny: Oh good, you heard me.


 * Raj: Unbelievable! You have some nerve showing up here just to smooze with the tenure committee.
 * Sheldon: You're here.
 * Raj: Excuse me. I'm here to pay my respects to Professor Tupperware or whatever his name is.
 * Sheldon: So am I. His passing makes me feel bad.
 * Leonard: Well, well, well. Sheldon, fancy meeting you here. I guess the train store in Glendale wasn't having a cotillion after all. (To Raj) And you. You said you weren't coming either.
 * Raj: I have a thick accent. You don't know what I said.
 * Amy: Well, I'd like to know why Penny's here.
 * Penny: I'm here to support my man, just like you.
 * Sheldon: What are you going to do? Take people's drink orders and get them wrong?
 * Leonard: (To Penny) Do it! (Penny slips off her coat and is wearing a short black dress with prominently displayed breasts, to Amy's annoyance. Raj stares at her for a moment.)
 * Sheldon: What? Did she do it yet?
 * Amy: She plans to flirt with members of the tenure committee to further Leonard's cause.
 * Sheldon: Well, that's a fine how do you do. Don't just stand there, take your breasts out.
 * Howard: Ooooohh, meerkat fight.
 * Amy: You are all wasting your time, Sheldon is the most qualified for the job and no amount of gravity defying bosoms is going to change that. And seriously, is that tape? How are they staying up like that?
 * Leonard: Way to hit them with both barrels.
 * Raj: You should be ashamed of yourselves. Using women to advance your cause with sexuality and whatever Amy plans on doing.


 * Amy: I should have taken my breasts out while I had my chance.


 * Amy: Let’s go over our emotional responses one last time.
 * Sheldon: Okay.
 * Amy: Professor Tupperman is dead and that makes us...?
 * Sheldon: Sad.
 * Amy: The fact that there are so many people here tonight doesn’t make us cranky and claustrophobic. It makes us...?
 * Sheldon: Glad.
 * Amy: Giving Mrs. Davis the box set of Roots was...?
 * Sheldon: Bad. However…
 * Amy: No.
 * Sheldon: Fine. Bad.