Drones

This article is a transcript of Beavis and Butt-Head episode, "Drones" from season 8, which aired on November 10, 2011, along with "Holy Cornholio.

Plot
Mr. Van Driessen - Okay, class, the purpose of today's field trip, which I'm conducting under protest, is to acquaint you with the potential careers in the U.S. army. Mm-kay? Now, according to their well-orchestrated propaganda campaign, this is the place where you can "be all that you can be."

Butt-Head - Hey! Uh, aren't there, like, more people in this class?

Beavis - Yeah, where's the rest of 'em? How come they didn't have to go?

Mr. Van Driessen - Well, the evaluations made by the guidance counselor indicated that they would be better served by visiting Hewlett-Packard. Class, this is Second Lieutenant Decker, our guide today. Now, I know we all think of the army as a killing machine, but unlike the marauding forces that perpetrated war crimes in Vietnam, today's army focuses more on peace-keeping and winning hearts and minds. Mm-kay?

Second Lieutenant Decker - No, it's about killing the enemy. We actually focus on that quite a bit. Right, well, killing them with kindness. Not so much, really. Mostly with weapons. Everything from bayonets to stinger missiles. Yes, which are fired only in self-defense.