Chapter Thirty-Three

Latin lover narrator: All right. Let's do it. Jane was accidentally artificially inseminated with Rafael's sperm. And from there things gone really crazy. See. They fell in love and then borke up. Oh. And Rafael's ex-wife Petra intentionally inseminated herself, because she still loves Rafael, and they've been getting closer. I know, straight out of a telenovela, right?

(screams)

Well, imagine this: We have not one, but two crime lords on the loose. First, Rose aka Sin Rostro aka Luisa's great love.

Luisa: Do you remember what we got that first time that we were together?

Powdered donuts from the vending machine.

Latin lover narrator: And Rafael has just learned that his mother, Elena, is the international crime boss known as Mutter. And they were both fighting over this chip.

Do you even want to know what's on the chip inside?

All of the faces Sin Rostro changed.

Latin lover narrator: And as for our Jane, well, she's trying to juggle being a mommy with her dreams of becoming a writer of romance. So, she enrolled in grad school and was studying under Professor Jo than Chavez, who she might've just had a sexy dream about, so let's see what's up with that. Jane Villanueva grew up in a house with three women, one bathroom... and no boundaries.

Abuela, mom's in a rush, remember?

She's got that interview.

Actually, I cancelled.

I just don't want to be a dance teacher.

(spits, gasps)

Eww!

Oh...

Gross, get it out, get it out!

Oh, Janie.

Oh!

I'm sorry.

Maybe we wouldn't have to share a bathroom if you got a regular job.

But there are some lines that should never be crossed.

I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

No, I-it's okay.

It's just not easy to give up on my dream, that's all.

It never is.

You can't just say you had a dream, I need details.

I don't remember anything specific.

(funky music plays)

Yeah, I call bull.

Enough!

I have to draw the line somewhere, and telling my mom the ins and outs of my s*x fantasy is definitely crossing it.

Did you say ins and outs?

Seriously?

What, are you 15?

Maybe.

So, you gonna go for it?

With Professor Chavez?

Mom, h-he's my advisor.

It wouldn't be appropriate.

Then why'd you put on lipstick to go meet with him?

What's that shade called, Lusty Virgin?

(Mateo crying)

Coming, Mateo, and guess what?

Your grandmother's a bigger baby than you.

(laughs)

(phone chimes)

Oh, shoot.

Hey, so Diego finally texted me back, and he can meet the day after tomorrow at 4:00.

Could Rafael watch the baby?

Ah, he's got meetings and I... I'm teaching.

Sorry, I mean if I want to get on the schedule, I have to kiss the ring.

Yeah, of course, I'll text Chepa.

Rogelio: I'm here.

Ah.

Mom, he wants to do this for you.

Come on, it's sweet.

Xiomara, meet your 40 and fabulous glam squad.

Ah.

My hair stylist, Shalisha.

My costume designer, Marina.

And your photographer, Alejandra.

Nice to meet you guys.

(Xiomara chuckling)

Yes, yes.

I thought I was getting my picture taken.

I didn't know this was gonna be a big production.

Getting one's picture taken is always a big production.

Besides, we need wonderful images to put up at your birthday party.

Which we agreed to keep small.

Agreed. A small birthday blowout!

Now, pick a dress.

(laughing): Wow.

They're a bit...

Breathtaking?

Much.

Ah, do you have anything shorter, less foufy?

I'll make them short and non-foufy.

Jane: Shoot...

Chepa can't babysit.

You need a babysitter?

Say no more, I will do it.

Eh...

Uh, well, that's a really nice offer, Dad, but you've only changed, like, one diaper in your life.

That's all it took for me to master the skill.

Yeah, but you don't have a car seat.

Marina, call production and have them buy me the world's finest car seat.

Yeah, but Dad, Mateo's crawling now, so he's super fast.

Jane, do you doubt my babysitting skills?

Because you have asked me to watch Mateo before.

Latin lover narrator: Only to be nice, and only when she knew he wasn't available.

That's true.

Then it's settled.

And that's when Mateo said his first word.

No.

Well, Jane wished he had, but he didn't, so instead she had to say...

Yes?

A little more, though.

Sorry, I'm trying.

Xiomara, what's wrong?

Is it the lighting?

Because I can assure you your skin is as luminous as mine.

No, I-it's not that.

Take five, Alejandra.

What's going on? Talk to me.

(sighs)

It's just all this 40 and fabulous stuff.

I never thought I'd be 40 and teaching the Whip/Nae Nae to a bunch of seven-year-olds.

Hey, stop.

I promise you're going to have fun at the party.

I have a wonderful surprise for you.

Wesley: Surprise, surprise.

More mayhem at the Marbella.

I'm standing in front of the boutique Miami hotel run by the rakish Rafael Solano and his glamorous ex-wife Petra because this very hotel is now believed to be associated with two major players in the Miami drug trade.

Okay, I get the point.

We're at 40% capacity.

Events are getting cancelled.

Then I'll float us again this month.

It's a bigger problem than that, and you know it.

(knocking)

Look, Jane and Mateo are here, I got to call you back.

Rafael: What time did he get up from his nap?

Uh, 1:30.

1:30.

All right, so I'll put him down at 4:30.

You look really nice.

Oh, thanks.

Okay, bye, Mateo.

(smooching)

Hey, where'd you say you were going?

Oh, I'm just, uh, going to meet with my thesis advisor to go over my reading tonight.

Oh. Hope you get lucky with your advisor.

I'm sorry, what was that?

I said, good luck with your advisor.

Thank you.

(whispering): Bye.

Latin lover narrator: Which brings us here, now, to Jane and the dreamy professor Jonathan Chavez.

So, I think you're in great shape for the reading.

Yeah, I just have a few last minute notes, mostly concerning the male character.

Okay, yeah, sure.

Great, in this next pass, I want you to really drill down on him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I-I will, um, drill down on him.

You know, what makes him specific?

(sexy jazz music plays)

You know, what makes him sexy?

♪ ♪

Why is she willing to cross the line for him?

Does that make sense?

Yeah, definitely.

I have marked a few places here.

(upbeat music plays)

Are you hot?

Hmm?

The AC's out.

Anyway, you get what I'm saying, right?

Get to who this guy is... underneath.

Got it.

I... I'll really get underneath him... with the writing.

And speaking of getting underneath...

This is taking too long.

IT's working as fast as they can.

You recall a chip was found embedded in Michael's leg.

We need to bring in another team.

No.

We keep the circle small.

Rose and Elena can't find out we have the chip.

It's the only way we can use it to draw them out.

(phone rings)

Barnett.

Luisa: What are you wearing?

Well, I'm at the office, so...

So the boxy, gray jacket?

Mm...

Yes, I'm actually in the middle of something.

Are you working on my case?

I can't confirm that.

Uh, can I get back to you later?

Does that mean that I'm gonna see you later?

Yes.

Interesting.

Okay, well, then just text me when you're on your way over.

Susanna.

IT's got something.

You've made no progress.

No progress on the chip.

I did find something else.

We've been using facial recognition software to analyze pictures we found at Elena's house.

This is her with her stepdaughter, Clara.

If you measure the distance between her eyes, age her up... change the hair color...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Sorry, here you go.

It's Rose.

Elena is Rose's stepmother?

Jane: “The revelation was unlikely, but so was his presence there. The stranger she passed so many times without stopping, he gave his name, Armando. 'So we're no longer strangers.' And then he smiled, revealing one front tooth that was ever so slightly longer than the other, which she fixated on a little too long. But what else could she do? She was overwhelmed, and more so when he moved closer and asked her point blank, 'What do you want?' And he was no longer a stranger, and there was that tooth, so what else could she say but, 'I want you, Jonathan.'”

Latin lover narrator: Wait, did she just say...

I mean Armando.

He probably didn't even notice.

How could he not notice?

You guys noticed, and it's not even your name.

Stay cool.

Mm-hmm.

Great job.

Yeah, I really think that last pass helped.

Latin lover narrator: Okay, maybe he didn't notice.

Thanks, great.

I especially like the addition of the Jonathan character.

Seems like a great guy.

Mm.

Xiomara: What kind of wink?

You know, he closed and then opened his eye.

Like in a, “You're funny, kiddo,” kind of way or like, “I heard what you did there, and we'll follow up on this later.”

I don't know, like somewhere in between.

Seriously?

A bowl of marbles?

This place is a death trap.

Which is why we're baby-proofing.

Here, give those to me, I'll take them to his room.

Oh, so, is Professor Hottie even single?

No idea.

I think so.

A little online stalking shows a recent divorce.

So, just go for it.

What do you mean, “Go for it”?

But there's a line, Mom.

Like a clear line.

He's my professor.

And I don't even know if he's open to it.

That's because you're not paying attention to the signs.

Oh, my God!

What?

Ma?

(exhaling)

It's nothing, I-I-I, um, I just overreacted.

I found this.

Latin lover narrator: It should be noted that Jane knew exactly what that was.

For Xiomara. I think you should marry her.

What?

Nothing.

You know something about this. What is it?

Mom, do you really want to know?

Yes.

I heard Liliana give the ring to Dad.

Said to propose to you.

Really?

So, I take it that'd be a yes?

Yeah.

Oh...

(crying): I think we're finally ready.

Oh, this must be the surprise he was hinting about.

I feel so bad for giving him such a hard time.

(keys in door)

Oh!

Take it off. Hurry.

I'm trying.

It's stuck.

Hey, Dad.

You're ear.

Yes, my... my scenes got moved.

What's going on here?

You got us.

We're baby-proofing the apartment.

You know Jane, such a worrywart.

Oh, yeah, my first solo adventure with Matelio.

(laughs)

What, now?

Oh, fist bump. My bad.

(makes explosion sound)

You didn't blow it up.

You always blow it up.

Why do you say that?

Plus, obviously, you have something in your hand.

We found the ring.

Oh, well.

I was saving it for a special occasion.

It's the closest thing I have to a family heirloom.

I want you to have it, Jane.

Oh.

Oh.

(sighs)

It's beautiful.

Thanks, Dad.

Rafael: Okay, uh, a little bad news, but I need you to stay calm.

In the history of time, has telling anyone to stay calm actually helped them stay calm?

I just get word the Hillcroft-Stanton wedding is being moved to a different hotel.

What?

B-because of that Web site?

Rafael, this is a huge wedding, and it's in two weeks.

If they move, everyone will know why.

Their friends will follow.

I know, I know, stay...

Don't say it!

I wasn't.

Stay... paying attention.

Look, please...

I know Izzie Hillcroft a little from, you know, back in the day.

She's having an art opening tomorrow.

I'll go, assure her the hotel is safe, that this is all behind us, and, you know, charm her a little.

You really think you can charm a woman about to get married?

It worked with you.

Latin lover narrator: True, for the record. You recall their first meeting, the night she got engaged.

(applause)

So, listen, I'd love the night she to take you out.

I'm engaged.

Yeah, for now.

How's Saturday?

(phone buzzing)

I... have to get this.

Saturday.

(laughing): I can't.

(phone buzzing)

Say yes.

Yes.

(phone buzzing)

Hi, Mother, everything all right?

Yes, he proposed.

But I think I might just have caught a much bigger fish.

And speaking of trying to catch a big fish...

I think I'm gonna throw up.

Do-do you need a minute?

I need a lifetime.

Elena was Rose's stepmother?

I... ah... what a screwed up family relationship.

(alarm ringing)

So, what, Elena married my father and then when he divorced her, she sent Rose in to marry him and use the hotel as a front?

It's pretty much what we're thinking.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

It's just so inappropriate.

(alarm ringing)

I mean, where are the boundaries, you know?

Oh, God, it's just... it's so insane.

It's hard to believe, but then again there's Joey.

(chuckles)

Uh, Joey. Who's-who's Joey?

Luisa, do you know this man?

Yeah.

He drove me and Rose a few times.

Do you know how to get in touch with him?

And from one secret mission to... operation suss out whether or not Professor Chavez might be receptive to a relationship between two consenting adults, one of whom is Jane.

Jane, hey.

Hey, uh, so I just finished teaching my class, and I thought I'd come by and say hi.

I just read your last chapter.

Do you want to go over it?

Oh, yeah, I'd love to.

Oh, he's moving over. Go sit by him before he gets up.

It's really coming along.

I mean, I-I'm loving the forbidden love theme.

Thank you.

Did he just scooch closer? He did, he did. That's definitely a good sign.

Yeah, I don't think you need this part here.

I would just jump right into the juicy stuff.

Okay, your move, Jane. Kick this operation into high gear. Move closer. Actually, this is making me feel a little pervy. Take it away, Jane.

Jane: Okay, subtle sign back. Some light physical contact. Just show him I'm open, and we'll see if he moves or not. Okay, almost there. Almost there.

And I wouldn't-I wouldn't give this away here.

I would allude to it, instead.

(whispering): Okay. What if he doesn't feel it?

You know what, let me get you your own copy so you can take notes.

So, pretty clear sign. He's not interested.

Yeah, I wanted to ask you something.

I-I hope I'm not crossing a line here.

Go ahead. He's going to ask me out.

Yeah, I saw your dad at the reading, and my mom is a huge fan of his telenovelas.

Ooh, that's a blow.

So, I was wondering if... it's not too inconvenient to, maybe we could visit the set some time with you.

Okay, at least he wants you there.

Yeah, totally.

That's really easy for me to organize.

I'd love to.

Latin lover narrator: Enough. I'm back. Okay, a date with Professor Chavez and... his mother. Still, it's a start.

For starters, just stay on point.

You are not affiliated in any way with anything drug-related.

You've had no relationship with your mother for over 20 years.

Got it, shh, there she is.

Izzie.

Hey.

It's good to see you.

You have got to be kidding me.

Okay, look, I'm sorry to just show up here like this, and I get how you might think poorly of me given that my family's been in the news...

Ooh, you?

This isn't about you. It's about her.

After the news reports, I realized that Petra is affiliated with the Marbella again.

I'm-I'm sorry, have-have we met?

Once, about five years ago.

I was working as a barista and you flipped out on me when I accidentally spilled coffee.

Ooh, and I got fired.

Uh.

I... M-m-maybe you were just I, uh... confusing me with someone else.

Yeah.

Do you know who I am?

Izzie Hillcroft.

No, that's what you said to me.

On the bright side, it inspired one of my best works.

"I call it, “The Trophy Wife”"

Available for purchase, of course, just like the best of them.

Do you remember that time she was talking about?

No, but I-I'm sure Izzie provoked it by-by...

Latin lover narrator: Not knowing your name.

I can fix this.

I will fix this.

It's not me.

Give him to me.

Okay, I-I-I just want you to remember that he's crawling.

Okay, and he's a lot faster than you'd expect.

So, if you put him down...

I won't put him down.

No, you can put him down, okay, just remember that he's fast.

(grunts)

(chuckling)

And also he likes to grab everything.

That's the reason why we put the glass marbles away.

(clicking)

Dad, are you even listening to me?

Jane, I got this, I promise.

Just go.

Xiomara: And you actually left?

Jane: I swear, I'm in the car driving.

I mean, I did make him swear not to text, or tweet.

Oh, are you there?

A-almost.

Okay, good luck.

Remember, you are an amazing performer, and they would be lucky to have you, so don't take no for an answer.

(exhales)

I'm sorry, the answer is no.

Look, I know my last couple of shows haven't been huge sellouts.

That's not the problem.

Look, I get that family drama happens, and now you got a grandkid and all, but you've just cancelled too many times.

It just doesn't seem like singing is your priority anymore.

(sighs)

Latin lover narrator: And speaking of priorities...

Car voice: You have one unread message from Xiomara. Read messages.

(chiming)

Jane, it's Mom. Here's a screenshot of Dad's tweets Are you with him? See tweets below.

Ten minutes looking for the perfect shoes to compliment my eyes.

Shoe emoji.

Huffing happy face emoji.

Rainbow.

Seriously?

On the phone with my agent, fielding multiple offers.


 * 1) WhatWillRoDoNext.

See no evil monkey emoji.

Exfoliating.


 * 1) Loofa Trying on all my fedoras.


 * 1) HideInAHat.

You can understand Jane's alarm, right? Because if Rogelio was talking to his agent, and trying on fedoras, and exfoliating, then who the hell was watching Mateo?

Where's Matelio?

There he is.

Oh, thank God.

It's good to have a friend with the same zest for life that I have.

You want to know my secret?

I'm going to propose to your grandma at her birthday party.

I know.

You want to see the diamond?

(musical humming)

After you and I part, I'm taking it to get set.

Ah.

I know.

It's not too big, right?

I have a little cash flow problem, but it's beautiful, no?

Where is the diamond?

There it is.

Where is the diamond?

There it is.

(phone rings)

Hello, Jane.

Jane: What are you doing?

Rogelio: What do you mean?

Apparently, you're picking out shoes, and exfoliating, and...

No, I'm not.

Dad, I read all your tweets.

My tweets?

Those were pre-arranged publicity tweets.

I have been unfairly maligned.

Oh.

Now can I go back to watching my grandson?

Yes, of course. I'm so sorry.

We'll see you soon.

Now, where were we?

We were admiring the diamond...

Where is the diamond, Matelio?

Matelio, where is it?

Where is it, Matelio?

Latin lover narrator: No, seriously, where is the diamond?

(musical humming)

(gasps)

Uh-oh.

Okay, that sounds good.

Jane: Hey, hi.

Yes.

Hi. Can I pick him up? Yeah, of course.

Hi, baby.

(smooches)

I, uh, I don't understand.

He swallowed something?

A penny, a marble?

I understand it was a diamond.

(quietly): What?

Look, he's fine, and he'll pass it.

But, you're lucky, this could have been much worse.

So lucky.

I know.

If he develops fever, or a cough, bring him back.

Otherwise... just keep an eye out for a diamond in his poop.

Thank you, Doctor.

I'm sorry, Jane.

You see, I was planning to propose to Xiomara, so I was showing Matelio the diamond.

You're mad.

Dad.

You are.

Who shows a diamond to a baby?

I was playing with him, but then you called about the tweets...

Oh, so, it's my fault?

I'm-I'm just saying... I... you... distracted me.

I called because I knew that you weren't ready to take care of him, and clearly I was right because look at where we are.

You know what, I'm not even mad at you, I'm mad at myself because I knew I shouldn't have left you alone with the baby.

It was just so scary, thinking about what could've happened.

No kidding.

Who doesn't feel it when a baby pulls a button off your shirt?

Latin lover narrator: Button, diamond, same difference.

It was an accident, and I was really hard on him.

And I'd cancel the set visit, if I didn't think it'd make him feel worse.

Ah, yes, the set visit with Professor Chavez... and his mom.

But you're not taking the baby on your date, right?

No, I'm gonna drop him off at Raf's, and it's not a date.

It could become one.

Just pay attention to the signs.

What signs?

Look, it's been a while since I've been single, and Professor Chavez is my advisor, you know, I have to make sure.

So, what am I looking for?

Well, okay, first off, he'll tell you to stop calling him Professor Chavez.

Mm-hmm.

Then he'll start being more familiar, you know?

He'll talk about non-school events.

He'll touch you.

He'll lean in.

Okay, got it.

Yeah, so, like, if he does any of those things, I just...

Respond.

Uh-huh.

Show him you're open.

He's your teacher.

He needs to know you're cool with it, otherwise it gets creepy.

And speaking of creepy...

(bell rings)

Jane.

Have there been any developments?

No, none, but we're on the lookout.

Look, I don't know if you got my voice mail last night, but I am so sorry about what I said.

Why?

It was what you believed.

Dad, come on...

Oh, your guests are here.

The show must go on.

(whispering): Hi.

Uh, Dad, this is Professor Chavez.

Professor Chavez, this is my dad Rogelio.

Jonathan, please.

Right, Jonathan.

Rogelio, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

This is my mom, Diana.

Lovely to meet you.

(sighs)

Wow.

(giggles)

Oh, don't worry, this happens all the time.

No need to talk.

Just grab my arm and I will give you a tour of the set.

(sighing)

(laughs)

I'm freaking out a little.

I've never seen my mom like that.

Oh, this happens, trust me.

No, but you don't understand.

My mom is, like, hard core.

Growing up, I saw her laugh twice.

Oh, my God, I think my mom is gonna try to kiss your dad.

Huh, looks like things are looking up for Jane... Unfortunately, not for poor Petra.

Izzie.

Hi.

Did you get the Miami News Gazette art critic to my show?

Yes, I did.

I wanted to mend fences.

She is so influential.

Exactly, and my art was not ready for her.

The review is terrible.

Which I'm sure is what you wanted.

What? No.

No, no, no, I was trying to help.

I-I just wished you would've consulted with me first.

Well, I didn't.

I could have made calls.

I wanted to take care of this myself.

Why?

Because I am not some useless trophy wife, okay?

Just for the record, I never thought that you were.

Okay, let's not get sentimental, all right?

You stole me away from your business rival.

Sure sounds like a trophy to me.

Yeah, that might have been why I was interested in you, but that's not what I loved about you.

I loved that you were the kind of person that saved $743 on fish filets.

Petra: And I just, I couldn't shake the feeling that the caterer was gouging us, so I went to the fish market No, you didn't.

And I priced it myself.

Yes, I did.

You went to the fish market?

I was right.

We were paying $12 per tilapia.

They're seven dollars a cut.

That's $743 right there.

So, you saved $743 on a $100,000 wedding?

No, on a $99,257 wedding.

Oh, you did.

Yes, I did.

(giggling)

That might be the answer.

Free fish.

Do you know who I am?

Sorry, ma'am, no.

Luisa Alver.

You drove me around a few times last year.

With Rose Solano.

Look, no one knows I'm here, but I'm desperate.

I need to get in touch with her.

Please.

I love her, and I know I shouldn't.

I've tried to stop, but I just...

I can't let go because there's a part of me that thinks that she's coming back for me, that we're gonna be together.

Okay, look, you don't have to say anything.

Latin lover narrator: No way he was going to.

Just... give Rose a message for me.

Tell her that if she wants me to wait, she should send me donuts.

She'll know the kind.

Jonathan: A second donut?

(chuckles)

This is getting embarrassing.

It's human nature, people can't turn down free food.

She put seven granola bars in her purse, I saw her.

(giggling)

You lose something?

I think I left my cell phone in the car.

Mm. Can't do that with a baby at home.

I'll walk you.

I could use some air.

Hey, that looks like some self-initiated body contact right there.

Seriously, Jane, thanks for doing this.

I mean, I...

I haven't seen my mom this happy in... it's been along time.

Oh, my pleasure.

Oh, it means a lot.

And I had fun, too.

Me, too.

Oh, my God, the lean in.

(record scratches)

(smooching)

Or... maybe he was just going

to get the car door.

You misread the signs. We've all done it.

Really? You've made out with a guy's sweater as he desperately dodged your kiss?

Oh, I just keep replaying it in my mind.

Latin lover narrator: For your viewing pleasure.

(smooching)

Stop it. I can't.

So, how did you leave things?

Yeah, cut the wheel a little more to the left...

(both shout)

Sorry. I... it's just... it's a new car...

Car voice: Back up. so I don't really know the parameters yet.

Straighten it out now.

A little more, a little more, great.

Okay, now let's get out of here.

You kissed his freaking sweater.

So, what are you gonna do?

I just got to talk to him about it, you know?

I'm just... I'm gonna deal with it head on.

Or just transfer to a different school.

So, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry.

Oh good, she went with option one.

I only kissed you because I thought I was getting signs from you.

From me?

Well, because...

I really wasn't trying to...

No, that is not what I'm saying.

Because I could get in trouble.

Well, that's not what I mean.

I had a crush, and I guess I projected on you.

But now that it's clear that it's all in my head, I was hoping that we can just move forward and pretend like it never happened.

I don't know if that's possible.

It is for me, really.

Please?

Can't we just put this behind us?

We'll give it a try.

(laughs)

That's your solution?

Yes.

A free wedding.

What's the catch?

Look, The Marbella can't afford the bad press if you cancel.

Plus, your friends will stay, they'll have a great time, and they'll come back, which is good for us in the long run.

I have one condition.

You sure you're okay with this?

Yeah. Whatever, it's fine.

It's not me.

Latin lover narrator: And it wasn't. Not anymore. Which brings us here, now, to Jane, who is back to writing after meeting with Jonathan. Actually, let's go back to calling him Professor Chavez. Yeah, sometimes when you cross a line, you can't go back.

Jane: I screwed everything up.

I mean, now I'm censoring my writing because I don't want him to take it the wrong way.

(shower running)

I'm sorry, hon.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

Okay, no more complaining.

We're gonna have fun at your party tonight.

(groans)

(Alba screams)

Maybe we wouldn't have to share a bathroom if you actually went to these interviews and got a regular job.

Alba: Xiomara!

Sorry, Ma, sorry.

(phone rings)

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Why aren't you home getting ready?

So, I have some bad news, and I feel terrible.

What's going on?

I have to work tonight, singing.

What?

Diego offered me a slot, last minute.

But it's your party.

There are 40 doves waiting for you to free them.

I know, but... I have to show him that singing is my priority.

Xiomara, any other night.

But he's offering tonight.

But I need you at the party.

Latin lover narrator: Because he's going to propose.

I can't believe you're doing this.

I can't believe you are.

It's my career, Rogelio, and that is more important than a party that I didn't even want.

♪ Volaré como un ave azul ♪ ♪ Y al llegar, te diré ♪ ♪ Quiero estar, siempre feliz ♪ ♪ Junto a tí ♪ ♪ Brillará, la estrella fugaz ♪ ♪ Que a tus pies, caerá ♪ ♪ Como yo ♪ ♪ Que quiero estar ♪ ♪ Junto a tí ♪

Latin lover narrator: You'll recall, Luisa was waiting for a message from Rose.

♪ Desde el cielo ángeles dorados ♪

(knocking on door)

♪ Anunciaron el momento en el que naciste tú ♪

Hey.

Come in.

♪ Crearon el encanto de Tu Luz ♪

No message from Rose?

Mm-mm.

Who cares?

I don't need her in my life.

Luisa...

Mm-hmm?

♪ Deseando ♪ ♪ Amanecer ♪

I can't.

(sighs)

Look, I know you were helping us, when you were talking about how you felt... about Rose?

But that sounded real.

It's 'cause I never got closure.

I know.

But for us... now is not the time.

♪ En el que naciste tú ♪ ♪ Y en un sueño hecho realidad ♪ ♪ Crearon el encanto ♪

So, the new stationery came in.

♪ De Tu Luz ♪

I love it.

Very funny.

I'm just really glad it all worked out.

Me, too.

Latin lover narrator: Wow, their legs are definitely touching.

♪ Junto a tí ♪ ♪ Es así que por la Ciudad ♪ ♪ El Amor seguirá ♪

Would you keep still?

I almost poked my eye out.

Sorry, just nerves, I guess.

You should be nervous.

You fell in love with him.

I told you not to cross that line.

♪ Deseando siempre vivir ♪ ♪ Junto a tí ♪

We can't.

Why not?

Seriously, why not?

Are you over Jane?

♪ Junto a tí. ♪

I'm really glad you came.

Of course I came.

I overreacted with your mom.

Only because, well, I wanted to propose tonight, you know?

Yeah, I know.

And look, Dad, I overreacted, too, and I'm so sorry I yelled at you.

That's not why I was upset.

Mm.

It's just... w-what if it's true?

What if I'm not good with kids?

I mean, I want them with your mother.

Dad...

What if I'm terrible at it?

I mean, you turned out perfect without me.

(laughs softly)

Trust me, I wish I had you.

And you'll be great, you know?

You'll learn as you go.

You can't just jump in and expect to know everything.

I promise.

You'll get there.

Oh, and I have something for you.

It showed up this afternoon.

(sighs)

It's been washed and disinfected a dozen times, which is why it's so shiny.

Yeah.

(knock on door)

You were wonderful.

I'm so glad you came.

Ooh, and guess what?

Diego's giving me Monday nights.

I'm back in.

I'm so glad.

And I'm sorry we fought.

It was only because... well... well, I had planned something.

My buddy, Ryan Gosling, said, “The only quality I look for in a woman is that she's Eva Mendes. There's nothing else I'm looking for”"

At this point I was going to wave to Eva, and then look at you, and tell you... that you are what I've been looking for.

(laughs softly)

And I think back to when we first met, when we were 16, and I think that my whole journey up to now has been about finding my way back to you.

I haven't had time to have it set.

(cries)

It's a long story.

Xiomara Gloriana Villanueva, I want to spend my life with you, and raise kids with you... so... will you marry me?

I... want to.

Okay.

So?

But... there is one thing... that I didn't know, but I'm realizing.

I don't want to have any more kids.

What?

Because I-I-I want the next 20 years to be about me.

Is that a deal-breaker?

(shimmering music fades)

I don't know.

Jane: And then what did he say?

That he had to think about it.

Wow.

I know.

And look, maybe it is a midlife crisis, but...

I just started thinking about my life, and-and what I want it to look like going forward, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, I get that.

What's going on with you?

No, ah, nothing, I'm fine.

Jane.

I need to get my mind off the ring.

I can't believe I just jeopardized my writing career over a hot guy I had some s*x dreams about.

I ju-I just... oh, I feel so...

I don't know...

Horny.

I was going to say at a crossroads.

But, yeah, maybe that, too.

I don't know, Mom, this whole no-sex-till-marriage thing is...

I mean...

I could see the finish line.

First with Michael.

And then Rafael, and... now, it's not even in sight, and I'm a mom.

When I was ten years old, making that promise, I didn't see this coming.

Yeah, makes sense.

(sighs)

So, maybe it's time to reevaluate?

Yeah, maybe.

(sighs)

Jane: Hey.

I just wanted to say, you were right.

I crossed a line and now there's no turning back, and I'm mad at myself, but...

I should get another advisor.

Are you sure that's what you want?

No, but it's what I have to do, because what happened is getting in the way of my writing.

If you think that's for the best.

I do.

So, I'll see you around.

Wait.

Since you're no longer my advisee, I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner sometime.

Yes.

Latin lover narrator: Well, isn't that a nice surprise. Also a surprise?

Did you find something on the chip?

Finally... yes.

Our first face.

I wasn't sure if you'd come.

And speaking of a hidden face...

Of course, I came.

If the police have the chip, we both have a problem...

Mom.