Space Race

[Open Int. Galaxy Warp]

(The Gems warp in.)

Steven: Woah.

Garnet: *steps on a warp pad* Inactive.

Steven: *grunts as he slaps a sticker on the warp pad*

Amethyst: *jumps onto different warp pad* Inactive!

Steven: *breathing heavily* *slaps sticker onto the inactive warp pad*

Pearl: *standing on another warp pad disappointedly* Inactive. (Steven slaps a sticker on the warp pad she's standing on.)

Amethyst: Do we have to check all of them? They're all still inactive, [Camera zooms out] like always.

Garnet: *walks away* We need to make sure.

Steven: I've never seen so many warp pads before! *gets two stickers* I hope I have enough of these Crying Breakfast Friends stickers. Where do all these warp pads go, anyway?

Pearl: *sits on one of the warp pads* Well, Steven, these warp pads were used to travel off-planet. They were our connection to the Gem Homeworld and to Gem-controlled planets all over the universe.

Steven: *gasps as the background becomes outer space themed* You mean we could go anywhere we want in outer space?

Amethyst: *scratches butt* Yeah... we could do that if they weren't all busted. *background turns back to normal*

Pearl: It's true. The galaxy warps have all been inactive for thousands of years.

Steven: Can't we fix them?

Garnet: *with the night sky reflecting on her shades* No.

Pearl: It's fine. *chuckles* I'll always have my memories of other worlds. But now I'm here... on Earth... *serious/sad expression* Forever.

Steven: With me!

Pearl: Right. *pats Steven's head* With you. It really is incredible out there, though. I wish you could see it, Steven.

[Trans. Ext. It's A Wash]

(Greg and Steven are watching Crying Breakfast Friends! outside.)

TV: (Crying Waffle cries.)

TV: (Crying Pear joins in, crying. Sad Apple and Spilled Milk cry, too.)

TV Narrator: Stay tuned for another episode of Crying Breakfast Friends!

Greg: *scratching his head, confused* Yeesh. I must be getting old. I used to like cartoons.

Steven: Hey, Dad, did you know the Gems used to travel all over outer space?

Greg: *chuckles* Yeah. They're pretty far out, son.

Steven: I think Pearl really misses going out there. *gasps* Dad, can you help me build a spaceship?

Greg: You know, that might be a little outside my skill set. How 'bout a bunk bed with wings? I could probably do that.

Steven: No way! We could totally build a spaceship! *stands up on chair* People have done it before, and we're people!

Greg: We are people.

Steven: And Pearl would love it so much to see space again.

Greg: Sure. Why not? How hurt could we get?

[Trans. Ext. the Barn]

Greg: My aunt and uncle had a great love for aviation and each other. They cherished the years they spent together, and they held on to every belonging they ever owned— kind of like me and my storage shed. I'm starting to think our family has a problem.

Steven: This is great! I hereby declare this barn to be Universe & Universe's Universal Space Travel HQ!

(Steven and Greg begin to draw on a chalkboard, cut wood, and tape stuff together.)

[Time Skip—later that day]

Steven: *holding hands over Pearl's eyes* Okay, now. *lifts hands*

Pearl: *reading sign* "UUU space travel"? What is this?

Steven: We built a spaceship!

Pearl: A spaceship?

Steven: A spaceship! *gestures to wooden box with paper wings on the side*

Pearl: A spaceship.

[Trans. Int. top of hill by shed]

[Birds cawing and chirping]

Greg: Now, remember, Steven, if you run into any trouble out there, you can always bail. There's never any shame in bailing.

Steven: Fatherly advice— understood! Thank you, Dad. Light the engines.

Greg: Roger that! *lights a rope at the back of the 'spaceship.'

Steven: Next stop— outer space!

Greg: Blast-off! *pushes the 'spaceship' down the hill*

Steven: *riding down the hill in the 'spaceship'* (A paper wing breaks off of the 'spaceship'.) Uh! (One side of the box comes off.) Ooh! (The other paper wing breaks off.) Uhh!

Pearl: Aah!

Steven: No shame! *jumps out of the 'spaceship'* Aah!

(The 'spaceship' hits a rock and breaks into pieces.)

Pearl: I think your calculations may have been off.

Greg: Well, they can't be off if you don't do any.

[Trans. Ext. shed]

Pearl: *drawing and motioning to chalkboard* Did you really think this was gonna work?

Steven and Greg: *make humming noises meaning "I don't know"* Mnh-mnh-mnh.

Pearl: *drawing a diagram of a spaceship on the chalkboard* Here, look. You need smooth, curving surfaces. Otherwise, you're never gonna get enough speed to break Earth's gravitational pull. Probably swept-back wings for supersonic flight, airtight cockpit with ejector seat, and we'll need some serious engines, or maybe rockets would be better.

Steven: I vote rockets!

Greg: Whoa, whoa. Hold on a sec. We're not actually talking about building something like this, right?

Pearl: What?! This? *laughs* Of course not. That would be ridiculous. I mean, yes, theoretically, it's not a stretch. You've got plenty of spare parts here, albeit for incredibly primitive propulsion-based space travel. The idea is ludicrous. It would never work, althoooough several humans, a monkey, and a dog did make it into space. I don't know why I've never even thought of it before. This could actually work!

Steven and Greg: Uh...

Pearl: I hear what you're saying, and I agree— it would be incredibly dangerous; a fool's errand. *picks stuffing out of chair* This chair is disgusting. But aren't the true fools the ones who don't seize an opportunity, despite all the inherent risks? And I'd be able to show Steven the wonders of the cosmos! And maybe just for a second, from a distance, I could see what's been going on without me. All right! let's do it!

Steven: UUU, space travel! G-o-o-o-o-o!

(Greg and Steven begin moving parts out of the tool shed while Pearl drills, screw-drives, and blowtorches various things together in order to build a spaceship. She also tests out an engine and mixes chemicals.)

Steven: *chasing a tire* *laughs*

(Later, Steven is flying in a small seated glider.)

Steven: Wah-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo!

Greg: Ground control to mach 2. Come in, mach 2. How you doing, buddy?

Steven: *still flying in the glider* Aah! aah-aah-aah-aah! Wow! *muttering*

Greg: You think we're taking this a little far?

Pearl: We're not even close to being done.

Greg: We're not?

Pearl: Okay, Steven. Go ahead and bring her down.

(Steven lands the glider as the engine backfires, the wings collapse, and the seat ejects Steven.)

Steven: Ugh! Whoo!

Greg: Was it supposed to fall apart like that?

Pearl: Don't worry. This was just to test my engine concept. I'll work out the kinks in the next one.

Greg: Hang on. Hang on. Next one?!

Pearl: Is there a shop in town that carries F-1 single-nozzle liquid-fueled rockets?

Greg: You really are serious!

Pearl: Of course! We're also going to need a space suit for Steven so he doesn't freeze or explode.

Steven: *imitates explosion*

Greg: Whoa. You are not taking him to space.

Pearl: Yes, I am.

Greg: No! I'm not allowing it!

Steven: But why? This is why we founded Universe & Universe.

Greg: Steven, you're grounded.

Steven: What?!

Greg: No, no. I mean you're grounded. You don't get to leave Earth.

Steven: Oh. What?!

Greg: As C.E.O. and supreme space commander, I hereby ground this astronaut and cancel this mission.

Steven: Aw, man! Stupid company by-laws.

Pearl: Hey! Who made you C.E.O.?!

Greg: *tilts head towards Steven* He did.

Pearl: Fine. If neither of you will help, I'll just do it by myself— Not like it'll be much different.

Steven: Pearl!

Greg: I'm sorry, bud. Sometimes you just got to know when to bail.

[Time Skip—night time]

Greg: *muttering in sleep*

Steven: *snoring* (Pearl pokes him.) Wha?

Pearl: Shh! Want to see something really cool?

Greg: *snoring* *talking in his sleep* No. Don't give him the banana. That's what he wants.

Pearl: *leads Steven into the shed* *opens shed to reveal a spaceship* Presenting the brand-new ballistic-flight-capable Universe Mach 3!

Steven: *gasps* Spaceship! *laughing happily*

Pearl: Wait, Steven. Keep your voice down.

Steven: *grunts* *laughs* Whoa! It's even got the logo from the van!

Pearl: And if your dad asks, we'll say we borrowed it.

Steven: *jumps into the spaceship* Whoa. Look at all the buttons! I must press them all.

Pearl: If you want, Steven, we could take her out for an engine check. (Pearl uses her gem to change into a spacesuit.) It'll be quick.

[Rumbling]

Greg: *wakes up* Wha?! What the... ? Pea-a-a-a-rl! Steven, what are you doing?!

(The spaceship's engine revs, a boom is heard, then the spaceship lifts off into the air.)

Greg: *knocked back by blast* *grunts*

Steven: *laughs* Wow! Look! You can see the temple!

Pearl: Mm-hmm.

Greg: *over walkie-talkie* Hey, can you hear me?! Where do you two think you're going?!

Steven: Hey, Dad, guess where I am.

Greg: I know where you are! It's where you're going that concerns me!

Steven: Don't worry, Dad. This is just a quick test flight.

Pearl: This will be perfectly fine— just a pop over to the nearest star system. I'll give him back in 50 years.

Steven: 50 Years?

Greg: What?! I'll be dead in 50 years! Pearl, you bring him back right now, or I'll -- (Pearl turns off her end of the transmission.) Hello? Hello?!

Steven: Pearl, I'm not supposed to go. Pearl!

Pearl: Oh, this is so exciting! Steven, you're gonna love it. *begins to play on piano to gain speed via more engines* *notes play* *discordant chord plays* Hang on tight!

Steven: Mm! *piece of the spaceship flies by* What was that? *alarm blaring* Pearl!

Pearl: We can make it. We're almost there.

(The spaceship begins to fall apart.)

Steven: Pearl!

Pearl: I'm gonna show it to you.

Steven: Uh... Uh... *blaring continues* *pulls the 'hatch release' lever*

Pearl: Steven! What are you doing?!

Steven: We need to go, Pearl! We're not gonna make it!

Pearl: But we're almost there!

Steven: Pearl! I know you miss space, and I know you worked hard, but sometimes... you just got to know when to bail.

(Pearl pulls a lever on the side of the chair they're sitting in, ejecting them out of the spaceship just as it explodes.)

Greg: N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! *scans the sky with binoculars* Please, please, please, please, please. (He finally sees Pearl and Steven with a parachute coming back down to Earth.) Ahhhh. Ohhhhh. Ohh, this kid's killing me. *lays down* Ughhhh!

Pearl: I'm so sorry. I almost got us killed.

Steven: I'm used to it. I'm sorry I couldn't help you go to space. We'll get there someday— I promise.

Pearl: You know, I think I'd rather be here on Earth.

Steven: With me!

Pearl: Yeah. With you.

[Iris out on Pearl and Steven still coming back down to Earth]

[END]