Butterfly Effect

[The scene opens up on an exterior shot of the Loud House on a sunny day; Lincoln leaps out of his room to perform for the viewer] LINCOLN: "Watch in awe, as The Amazing Lincoln displays his unbelievable yo-yo skills! I shall now "walk the dog"!" [Charles enters the scene, carrying a leash in his mouth] LINCOLN: "Not you, Charles. I meant the yo-yo." [Charles wimpers, and he walks out of the scene; Lincoln does his "walk the dog" trick] LINCOLN: "I shall now go "AROUND THE WORLD"!" [Charles enters the scene, carrying a suitcase] LINCOLN: "Sorry, still talking about the yo-yo." [Charles whimpers, and he walks out of the scene; Lincoln attempts to do the "around the world" trick, but the yo-yo flies off his finger, ricochets around the hallway, and flies into Lisa and Lily's room, causing a crash] LINCOLN: [nervous] "The Amazing Lincoln will now take a brief intermission." [Lincoln and Charles look into the room, and they see that the bottles on Lisa's desk have been broken, with their contents spilled] LINCOLN: "Yikes. I better go tell Lisa." [flashes into Lincoln's imagination, where Lisa observes the damage in a dark, stylized environment] LISA: [turning red with anger, with her teeth sharpened] "You've completely destroyed my life's work! I DESPISE YOU, AND YOU NO LONGER EXIST TO ME!" [a wall of fire burns in the background behind her, along with a cultist choir, as the scene flashes back to Lincoln] LINCOLN: "Yeah, I'm not telling Lisa." CHARLES: [wimpers] LINCOLN: "Oh, come on, Charles. When did you get a conscience? I've seen you poop on the couch! Besides, if I just walks away, what's the worst that can happen?" [Charles glances at the viewer; Lincoln takes the yo-yo from the damage] LINCOLN: "I'll just remove the evidence, and they'll be none the wiser." [Lincoln and Charles walk out of the room; a drop of one chemical falls into a puddle of another chemical, causing an explosion that raises the roof]

[transitions to Lisa, who is examining the damage on her desk] LISA: "I don't understand what went wrong. Science is a fickle mistress." [Lori is looking over a hole in the wall causes by the explosion, which leads to the closet in her's and Leni's room; Leni pokes her head through the hole] LENI: "Hi, Lori! Have we always had a window in our closet?" LORI: "Ugh, it's not a window. Lisa's experiment blew a hole in the wall." [notices a picture frame peeking out from the other side] "What's this?" [Lori sees that the frame contains a signed photo of Bobby] LORI: "'To my bodacious babe'? Leni, why is this picture Bobby hidden on your side of the closet?" LENI: "Oh, there is it is! That was a surprise present from Bobby for your 88-day-iversary. He asked me to hide it for him, but I forgot where I put it." LORI: "That anniversary was eight days ago, and Bobby gave me socks! I can't believe this! You're literally seeing Bobby behind my back! You are no longer my sister!" LINCOLN: [walks into the room] "Everything okay after that unexpected and totally random explosion that I know nothing about?" [Lori shouts in anger, marches out of the room, and slams the door; a coat rack in the closet falls onto Leni, knocking her out; a shelf also tips over, causing several pairs of shoes to fall on her]

[Leni opens her eyes as she regains consciousness on Lisa's bed; Lincoln and Lisa are looking down on her] LENI: "What happened?" LINCOLN: "A shelf fell on your head." LENI: "Of course! Everyone knows that an object falling at a velocity of 9.8 meters per second squared will result in a temporary loss of consciousness." LISA: "I knew that. The question is, how did you?" LINCOLN: "Hey, I saw this in a movie once. I bet getting hit on the head altered Leni's brain and made her smart." LISA: "Lincoln, you seem unable to distinguish between scientific fact and preposterous Hollywood schlock." LENI: "I don't get it." LISA: "See? Same old Leni. Can't even understand simple English." LENI: [walks over to Lisa's chalkboard, which contains a complex equation] "No, I don't get why you multiplied your "Z" polynomials before solving your non-negative integer exponents." [Lisa looks over the equation, and gasps loudly as it dawns on her that Leni is right] LENI: "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to disprove Newtonian physics. Buh-bye!" LISA: [collapses to the floor, crestfallen]" My world no longer makes sense." [Charles looks up and growls at Lincoln] LINCOLN: "Don't you have a couch to poop on?"

[cuts to Lincoln finishing cleaning up the couch] LINCOLN: "Charles, that was a rhetorical question!" [Lynn enters the house, screams loudly, and pounds her fist against the wall; she hyperventilates as Lincoln walks up to her] LINCOLN: "What are you so upset about?" LYNN: "I just got kicked off all my sports teams because I'm failing school!" LINCOLN: "How could you fail? Doesn't Lisa tutor you?" LYNN: "She used to, until she dropped out and got a job as a gas station attendant at Flip's Food & Fuel!" LINCOLN: "She WHAT?!" LYNN: "UGH, WITHOUT SPORTS, MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS!" (kicks her soccer ball hard) LOLA: [walks down the stairs] "I present to you your new "Miss Cute and--" [the ball hits her in the face] "OH, MY NOSE!" [Lola looks into a mirror, and sees that her nose has severely swollen up] LOLA: [gasps] "I am a hideous...monster." LINCOLN: "It's not that bad, Lola." LOLA: "MY PAGEANT CAREER IS OVER!" [Lola runs up the stairs, and she trips and falls on her face when she reaches the top] LOLA: "OH, MY TEETH!" [cries] [Charles looks up at Lincoln, and he shakes his head in disapproval] LINCOLN: "Fine, I'll fix it."

[Lincoln rides his bike over to Flip's Food & Fuel, and he sees Lisa wearing a gas station attendant's uniform] LINCOLN: "Lisa, why are you doing this?" LISA: "Flip's the only guy who will hire four-year-olds with no experience." LINCOLN: "No, I mean, why are you doing any of this? Come home. Lynn needs you!" LISA: "Why don't you get Miss Smartypants to help her!" [Leni drives up in a purple convertible] "Speak of the Devil. Regular or unleaded? LENI: [brandishes a certificate] "Oh, I don't need gas. I just won the Nobel Prize for inventing a car that runs on apple juice." LISA: "Of course you did." LENI: [hands Lisa a juice box] "Fill 'er up, please." [Lisa opens up the fuel tank, and squirts the box's contents into it] LINCOLN: "And then we'll all get in Leni's juicemobile, go home, and forget all this nonsense." LENI: "Can't! I'm off to Harvard! Au revoir, adios, auf Wiedersehen, and aloha!" LISA: "A-HA! "Aloha" means "Hello"!" LENI: "It also means "Goodbye"!" [speeds off] LISA: "Dang it. I used to know that." [Flip, the owner of the station, opens a window and calls out to Lisa] FLIP: "Hey, Chatty Cathy, BACK TO WORK!" [the station's payphone rings; Lincoln answers it, and he hears barking on the other end] LINCOLN: "Hello? Charles? She's WHAT?! Alright, I'm on my way!"

[Lincoln enters Lola's room, holding an ice pack] LINCOLN: "Look who it is, Miss Soon-to-heal." [Lola, who is trying to stuff a bunch of clothes into a suitcase, turns to Lincoln; she still has her swollen nose, and all but one of her teeth are gone] LOLA: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" LINCOLN: "AAAAAHHH! I mean, you're looking better!" LOLA: [with a lisp] "Oh, nice try, Lincoln, but I am out of here! I can't stay where I'm constantly reminded of my former self!" [looks up, sadly, at old photos of herself] "My beautiful, beautiful self." LINCOLN: "But...But..." [Lola struggles to pull her stuffed suitcase, and the handle breaks off, causing her to fall on her face and black both her eyes] LOLA: "I'll send for this!" [grabs the ice pack, puts it over her eyes, and walks out into the hallway] LINCOLN: "Lola, wait!" [Lincoln tries to run for her, but he bumps into a plastic bubble containing Lana] LANA: "Careful, Lincoln! You could get seriously injured!" LINCOLN: "Lana, what are you doing in there?" LANA: "I saw what happened to Lola. Life is a fragile thing. I don't want to take any risks." LINCOLN: "But you're the queen of risks!" LANA: "Was the queen of risks! From now on, I'll stay in here, where it's safe! You know what I'm talkin' about, huh, Geo?" [Geo rolls by in his hamster ball] LINCOLN: "Lana, you can't be serious!" [Lana rolls past him] "Lana?!" [Lincoln suddenly hears Luna singing] LUNA: [singing] "Things have gotten drastic / Now, my sister lives in plastic / Where did it all go wrong?" LINCOLN: "Luna? LUNA: [shows Lincoln a laptop] "Check it, bro. I uploaded a song I wrote about our family going down the Highway to--HELLO! I just got fifty more hits!" [the ceiling breaks open, and Mick Swagger descends, holding into a rope ladder from a helicopter] LUNA: [gasps] "Mick Swagger?!" MICK: "Your singing is amazing! You gotta join my tour"! [holds Luna's hand] LUNA: "Luna is IN!" [the rope goes up though the hole in the ceiling, carrying both away] LINCOLN: "Don't you leave, too! THE FAMILY'S FALLING APART!" LUNA: [from the helicopter] "SORRY, DUDE!" [the helicopter flies away]

[Lincoln goes into his room, and he decides to contact Clyde with his walkie-talkie] LINCOLN: "Clyde, this is Lincoln! Come in! I've got a Code Blue!" [the screen splits in half to show Clyde's location] CLYDE: "Code Blue?! You did something wrong and lied about it, and now everything is all messed up?!" LINCOLN: "Affirmative! Can you come over?!" CLYDE: "Negative. I've got a Code Green!" LINCOLN: "You showed up to school in your underwear?" CLYDE: "No, that's Code Orange? Hang on." [Clyde's is revealed to be skydiving with Lori, and he takes a picture of them with his camera phone; Lincoln gets the picture via text message on his phone, and he jumps up in surprise] LINCOLN: "SWEET MOTHER OF...What are you doing with Lori?!" CLYDE: "I've been trying to tell you! A Code Green; Lori broke up with Bobby, and I'm the rebound guy!" LORI: "Happy eight-minute-iversary, Snookie-Booboo-Sugarbear." [Clyde leans in for a kiss, but Lori deploys her parachute, causing Clyde to kiss a flying bird instead] LINCOLN: [gags and throws away the walkie-talkie] "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FAMILY?!" [Luan shows up, solemn and depressed, and knocks on Lincoln's door] LUAN: "Knock-knock." LINCOLN: "Who's there?" LUAN: "This is not a joke, Lincoln. Do you know what's going on in the world? Here, take Mr. Coconuts. He just reminds me of all the trees being cut down in the rainforest." LINCOLN: "Wait, Luan, what brought this on?" LUAN: "Well, ever since Luna left, I've had no one to try my jokes out on. So, I've been watching a lot of cable news, and what I've seen is horrific. So, I've decided to become...an ACTIVIST!" LINCOLN: "Don't be ridiculous! You're a comedian!" [takes out a pie and throws it into his face] "See? Funny, right?" [a horde of wild animals stampedes past Lincoln] LINCOLN: "What the heck was that?!" LUAN: "They're just Lana's pets. I liberated them. And now, I'm off to heal this ticking time bomb we call Earth." LINCOLN: "Wait, Luan, you can't be serious!" [a monkey appears, spooking Lincoln, and it takes Mr. Coconuts]

[the monkey and a big snake are in the living room; Lincoln chases Izzy, who hides under the couch] LINCOLN: "Get back here, Izzy!" [the snake hisses at him, and hides behind the couch] LINCOLN: "Izzy, come to Uncle Lincoln!" NEWS ANCHOR: [on the TV] "And now, for tonight's top stories. Former rising star Luna Loud was kicked off the Mick Swagger tour for destroying a hotel room." [the news cut to footage of Luna screaming amidst the wreckage of her hotel room] LUNA: [in a British accent] "ALL I WANTED WAS A BLEEDING PILLOW MINT!" LINCOLN: "Luna?" NEWS ANCHOR: "In a related story, former comedian turned activist Luan Loud has chained herself to a giant redwood tree." [the news cuts to footage of Luan chained to a giant redwood tree, while onlookers record her with their mobile devices] LUAN: [chanting] "Hey-hey, ho-ho! Keep your hands off, let it grow!" LINCOLN: "Luan?!" [Izzy, the snake, and the monkey join him in viewing] NEWS ANCHOR: "I'm being told we have breaking news." LINCOLN: "Please don't be one of my sisters!" [the news cuts to a reporter on the scene at Flip's Food & Fuel, with Lisa drinking a "Flippie" ice drink right next to her] REPORTER: "Tucker, I'm here at Flip's Food & Fuel, where two unknown bandits have just made off with a carload of beef jerky and a cotton candy machine!" LISA: "They're not unknown, they're my sisters." [sips] "Their betrayal hurts more than this brain freeze." REPORTER: "I'm getting word that the bandits are currently leading police on a slow-speed chase!" [cuts to an army of police cars chasing Lola's kiddie car through the desert; Lola, her face now covered in bandages, is driving, while Lynn is in the passenger seat, eating cotton candy] [Lincoln and the animals look on in shock; Izzy, Lincoln, and the monkey take on the familiar "wise monkey" poses] LINCOLN: "WHERE DID IT ALL GO WROOOONG?!" REPORTER: "One has to wonder, where did it all go wrong for these girls? And why is a four-year-old working at a gas station?" [Flip takes hold of the camera] FLIP: "Interview over! Wait, don't forget to come down to Flip's Food & Fuel, home of the Flippie! Now the interview's over." [puts his hand over the camera] [Lincoln turns off the TV; Lucy suddenly appears next to him] LUCY: "I was watching that." LINCOLN [screams and jumps up in terror] "Lucy! At least you're still normal!" [Lucy looks toward Lincoln, and smiles wide to reveal a pair of fangs] LINCOLN: "D'AAH! NOT NORMAL!" LUCY: I was bitten by Lana's liberated vampire bat! Greatest! Day! EVER!" [turns into a bat and flies away] LINCOLN: "Nine sisters lost, but there's still one I can save!"

[Lincoln enters Lisa and Lily's room, and he looks into Lily's crib; he finds that she is not in it] LINCOLN: "Lily?" [the roof is lifted up from outside by Lily, who has grown to gargantuan size; she looks down at Lincoln, and she giggles] LINCOLN: "LILY!" [Lincoln sees a trail of Lisa's chemicals leading from her desk to the crib] LINCOLN: "Oh no, Lisa's chemicals! What have I done?!" LILY: "Mmmm...glob-glob!" [Lily reaches down for Lincoln as he tries to run away; he gets caught, and Lily opens her mouth] LINCOLN: "DON'T EAT ME, LILY!" [Lincoln screams as Lily lifts him toward her mouth; his open mouth fills the camera, turning the screen black]

[the screen flashes back to the point where Lincoln and Charles were overlooking the damage on Lisa's desk] LINCOLN: "So that's the worst thing that could happen." CHARLES: [barks] LINCOLN: "I totally agree! I'm going to tell Lisa!" LISA: [in the doorway] "Tell Lisa what?" [gasps as she sees the damage] LINCOLN: [fearful] "I was playing with my yo-yo, and it got out of control, and it wrecked your experiment, and I'm really, really sorry! Go ahead and disown me, 'cause I deserve it!" [Lisa smiles, and hugs Lincoln] LINCOLN: "I'm confused. You're not mad?" LISA: "Mad? I'm ecstatic! You proved my hypothesis! Your recklessness was the one variable my ridgedly-controlled experiment sorely needed!" LINCOLN: "I'm still confused." LISA: "I'm saying thank you for being a clumsy doofus. And thanks for admitting what you did." LINCOLN: "I didn't have a choice. I didn't want you to work at a gas station, or Lynn and Lola to turn to a life of crime, or Lana to live in a bubble, or...or...or..." LISA: [walking away] "Fascinating. Exposure to my chemicals seems to have damaged his cerebral cortex." LINCOLN: [sighs; speaks to the viewers] "Boy, am I glad that nightmare's over." [Lincoln hears a bicycle bell ringing from outside; he looks out and sees Lori, and Clyde riding a tandem bike, which is dragging a string of cans and a sign reading "JUST MARRIED"; the sight of this causes Lincoln to scream in horror]