How Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Should Have Ended


 * Rocket Raccoon: The fate of the universe lies on your shoulders. So whatever you do! Don't push this button.
 * Groot: I am Groot!
 * Rocket Raccoon: Aaaagh He pushed it!


 * Drax: What were you thinking? You were lucky to did not kill you.
 * Rocket Raccoon: You're telling me! You wanna buy some batteries?
 * Gold Guy: Did he just say stole our batteries?
 * Rocket: Uh, oh.
 * Gold Guy: He did! I heard him!
 * Gold Girl: Me too!
 * Gold Girl 2: Me three!
 * Gold Guy 3: Me gold.
 * Rocket: If I could just explain.


 * Star-Lord: Okay. We all agree Rocket got himself killed right?
 * Gamora: Absolutely!
 * Drax: Of course! Without a doubt.
 * Groot: I am Groot.
 * Ego: After all these years I found you.
 * Star-Lord: And who the heck are you?
 * Ego: Well I thought my rugged good looks would have given away I'm your dad, Peter.
 * Star-Lord: Whaaaaat?!
 * Darth Vader: You have a SON!? This is wonderful! You should tell everyone! Peter! Did you hear the news!? Join him. And together you can rule the galaxy as father and son!
 * Ego: What ha ha Whoa Whoa! Hold on! That's now what I'm trying to do! Ha, ha...
 * Darth Vader: Holy crap! Darth Vader is real?!


 * Alien: As a matter of fact... They do!


 * Mantis: Sleep.


 * Mantis: You are all in grave danger! This fool is evil! You gotta get out of here~
 * Star-Lord: Whaaaat?!


 * Yondu: Oh! Nutz! Aaagh!
 * Alien: Great shot, Frank!
 * Frank: Hey, thanks! You know at first I thought...


 * Star-Lord: AAaaaggh!
 * Ego: Wait! Peter! Hold on a second! Hey there little wooden child! Whatcha doin with that bomb there near my brain?
 * Groot: (Gasps) I am Grooooot!
 * Ego: So then I won the fight, and my expansion idea was able to take off... And now I'm currently taking over the entire universes.
 * All: HAHAHAHAHAHAAH! That is fantastic!
 * Tom: That is amazing!
 * Ego: So.. You guys might wanna get going.
 * Tom: What?
 * Thanos: I have a problem with this!


 * Yondu: We're in a tight spot, boy.
 * All: Aaaaagh!
 * Star-Lord: Yeah! If only we had insanely accurate weapon the can take on multiple targets at once! And goes through metal!
 * Yondu: What you mean like a bunch of lasers?
 * Star-Lord: I mean your freakin' arrow, Dude!
 * Yondu: Oh yeah! Sure! Pssh! I knew that! I just wanted to know if you'd think of it.
 * Star-Lord: Shut your blue face and throw the arrow!
 * Yondu: Alright, alright! I'm going!


 * Rocket: Well that was... easier than I expected.
 * Groot: I am Groot.
 * Ego: Aaaaagh! Just what do you think you're doing!?
 * Mantis: Sleep!!!
 * Drax: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
 * Star-Lord: And so we blew up my father, because he was evil and insane... And also a planet.
 * Yondu: And I helped! And also survived.


 * Superman: So you've killed you're own father?! That's crazy!
 * Star-Lord: No he was crazy! And besides he may have been my father, but he wasn't my daddy.
 * Yondu: Eh... sounds less manly when you say it.
 * Star-Lord: Yeah, I realize that now. Sorry...


 * Both: Not if I have anything to say about it.


 * Star-Lord: Mary Poppins is real?!
 * Yondu: What? Mary Poppins is a woman?!


 * Gold Woman: High Priestess? They met in the cafe again.
 * High Priestess: Typical. So predictable! When they see what I've created here... Their precious cafe will be ruined. I think I shall call him... Martha.