Moseby's Big Brother


 * Zack: I can't believe Mom is making us buy our own bikes. What's she good for?
 * Cody: Food, shelter, clothing, love.
 * Zack: Well, you can't ride love to the mall.


 * Mr. Moseby: Welcome, Spencer, to the Tipton!
 * Spencer: Actually the light on the "n" blew out, so now it's called the "Tipto".
 * Mr. Moseby: Oh.
 * London: I thought my last name was pronounced Tipton.


 * Mr. Moseby: Esteban, it's almost checkout time. Hurry up to Spencer's room and get his bags.
 * Esteban: He is leaving so soon? It's only been one day.
 * Mr. Moseby: One day is like seven years in Spencer time.


 * Cody: Mom, I've got brother problems here.
 * Mr. Moseby: Please do not talk to me about brothers. Spencer is giving me such a migraine.
 * Cody: Zack is selfish!
 * Mr. Moseby: Spencer's a bully!
 * Cody: He doesn't listen!
 * Mr. Moseby: He has no consideration for me!
 * Cody: And he stinks personality-wise and frankly, his body odor!


 * Esteban: (to Maddie) Wait a minute. Should we be taking advantage of poor Miss London like this?
 * Maddie: Please. When she had trouble potty training her dog, she made you dress up like a hydrant.
 * Esteban: Oh, let's really stick it to her good!


 * Spencer: Don't be mad just because Mom liked me best.
 * Mr. Moseby: Oh, she did not! You know the reason why she treated you better.
 * Spencer: Don't go there!
 * Mr. Moseby: Oh, yeah!
 * Spencer: Don't go there!
 * Mr. Moseby: Yeah, because you were lactose intolerant!
 * Spencer: Ooh, you went there!
 * Mr. Moseby: Who's afraid of cheese? Who's afraid of cheese?