Invasion of the Saucer Men

Spooky, eh ? I learned a long time ago you gotta start your pitch with a bang. But ... I'm an honest guy, see. I gotta play it square with you. Actually, a plain ol' farmer lives in this house. An nice, easy going sorta guy. - Now get the law after 'em ! Er ... Like I was sayin', he lives on the outskirts of this little town. Hicksburg, by name. No, I'm not kiddin' ! That's the name ... Hiscksburg. Scout's honor. It's a quiet little place ... Nothing much for the young people to do ... Well ... Hardly anything. Anyhow, we're Saturday night. And me and my partner, was eating in this fancy restaurant. A regular gourmet's joint. Him and me are what you might call ... Investments specialists. We were discussing the latest market reports and looking forward to a quiet game of chess before retiring. Oh ... That's my partner. I'm the handsome guy, on the left. Will there be anything else ? Right now, I couldn't afford what I'm thinking. - I'm sure of that. - Wait, baby, wait ! I wonder if you can tell me how to ... I can't even read my own writing here ! I wonder if you'd tell me how to get to ... ... first base with you tonight. Fresh guy ! Oh, at least I tried ! Trying is all we ever do ever since we hit this town. We never should've come here in the first place ! A guy's gotta be a native in this burg before a dame will give him a break. Oh don't give me that ! Let's go home. I'm bushed ! Wait a minute, man. This is country ! Things move slow here. I got a tip that this town's a cinch for quick buck. Skip it, will you ? I'm going to bed. And we're pulling out of here in the morning ! I'm looking for action tonight. I'm taking a ride to see what I can pick up. Fat chance ! And remember that car is half mine. You have the front seat. I won't be using your half much tonight ! Big lover ! All mouth .. No action. You want a lift back to the boarding house ? No, I'm gonna walk up my great expectations. I wouldn't want to hold back the wheels of progress. Or is it the progress of a big wheel ? - What the heck was that ? - Low lightning, what else ? There's no clouds out there. How's the recruiting coming along, Lieutenant ? Not bad. How about them young'uns ? I wonder what they're watching out there ? I tell ya ... I saw a flying saucer ! What you fellows yappin' about out here ? Duke just said he saw a flying saucer ! Only one ? Nobody's got a right to brag unless they see at least six. And in different colors. This one was blue ! Lieutenant, the boys are kidding about seeing a flying saucer. Oh. Yeah, Duke says he saw one over there. You better watch out, he might be giving you orders next month. Yeah, you're right, I'm hooked ! Dragging me in feet first. Don't you had a date with the Joan tonight ? Yeah, she's meeting me here at 9:30. She's probably fussing with her new dress. Who you're kidding ! We all know she's waiting for her old man to get out of the house. What kind of a dress takes that long to get into ? You have to admit she's got a lot of the right things to put in the right places. Yeah and they're all mine ! Here she comes. See you later. - Hi princess. - Hi Johnny ! Most of the gang's at Lover's Point. Yeah, what a lousy way to spend the Saturday night. Look ! - Do you like it ? - Great ! - I'm going home. - Goodbye, Jack. Uh ! ... Another load of those consarned kids on my property. Looks crowded at Lover's Point. Hope we don't hit Larkin's bull on the way out. - Take it easy, Bobby boy. - Go man, go ! You nearly startled me out. That's Oswald, Larkin's bull. He's always hanging around asking for hand outs. Get that beast away from here ! That bull drank so much beer one night that he got the blind staggers. See, now, you needn't be afraid of him. - I'm not ... Anymore. - Good. - You shouldn't have done that. - Done what ? - Throwing out the beer can. - Why not ? You know the trouble we've been having with Mr. Larkin without messing up his farm with beer cans. Let Larkin blow his top. This place was Lover's Lane long before it was Larkin's cow pasture. - But I think ... - I got a cure for that. - For what ? - For thinking. More beer. Just a minute, not so fast ! I'm out of breath. Proves you're lovin' ... I'm looping with you tonight, isn't that proof enough ? And then some ... Seeing how your father hates me. Oh it isn't that bad ! Art ... Artie ? Artie, at last we made it ! We hit the jackpot. Turn off that light, you bum ! Artie, come on ! We're millionnaires. Yeah, yeah. Go to bed, uh ! But this is different. This is big ! Yeah ... Look I'm not trying to give you a pitch. But this ... You and me, we're gonna put on an exhibition on the first and only truly authentic flying saucer ! You ... You woke me up to tell me that ? I told you it was big, didn't I ? Well I seen one ! Like all the crazy people been talking about. It was big, and round, and it glows. And gives off a funny noise like ... ... like that ! Like that, uh ? Yeah, yeah, that's it ! It landed over there by the Larkin's farm property. It's great, isn't it ? Okay ... Okay. But when I'm rollling that dough, I don't see you invited in. Invited out ! I'll handle it myself. Go ahead, go back to sleep ! Sleep your life away ! It was a good idea coming up here tonight. Gang'll never suspect a thing. We can be back before they even miss us. Oh, no more sneaking up here to be alone. No more out-swirling your father. - This oughta make it official. - Oh it's brilliant ! It's bad luck. I don't know why these saucers always wait till night to put up an appearance. Where do you think it is ? From what these kids said, it must be north-east of town. I'll check the latest radar report from our station. We better get right out there. The General was thrown up for letting the last one get away. The army intelligence really scooped us that time. 'Scoop' did you say ! - Just a figure of speech, sir. - It'd better be, Lieutenant. - I wanna caution you about one thing. - Yes, sir. I know that in civilian life you were a publicity man. - What are you getting at, sir ? - Just this : ... Our job is to prevent a possible nationwide panic by keeping the information from the public. I figure a public information officer is about the last thing we need right now. I didn't request this assignment, sir. - I know that ! - Yes, sir. - But get this straight, Wilkins ... - Yes, sir. You let one word of this leak out, I'll have you court-martialled and shot ! - Do I make myself perfectly clear ? - Yes, sir, yes indeed, sir ! Good. Now get down the hall and wake up Sgt. Serkins and Carter. - Tell them to load their weapons. - Yes, sir. Come on. We're wasting time. - Hey cut those lights ! - You're cramping our style ! Hey you want Larkin should catch us ? Joan should worry. Her old man's a city attorney. Come on, turn 'em off ! Oh, I'd hate to get caught at a time like this ... Yeah, I can see your old man helping me ... Tonight, of all nights. Be careful, Johnny, I'd hate to hit Larkin's old bull. Don't worry, I could drive this road blind-folded. - You've had enough practice ... - A lot honey, but never enough ! Johnny, slow up, I can't see a thing. No back seat driving to our marriage ! Easy, you'll get us all killed ! The darn fool didn't have his lights on, sir ! His lights blinded me, I couldn't see a thing ! We wanna get there in one piece. It's only another quarter mile to the highway. It's nothing to be afraid of. Don't worry. Johnny ! Johnny ! - What was that ? - I don't know it happened so fast. I didn't see it at all ! What have we done ? Oh it's a little boy ! Gimme a hand, let's get him to a hospital. Johnny ! What's this thing ! It's disgusting ! What a monster head ! Here it is. I killed it. Johnny, I'm getting ill. John, get me away from here ! - What is this ? - I don't know. We must've cut the tire when we hit that thing. - Are we stuck here ? - We can't drive on it. It's right off the rim, and I don't have a spare. Let's go to Larkin's house and call the police. Amazing ! One of them actually landed intact ! What a story ! That must explain the blue lights our jet pilots told us about. I wonder how many regular airline crack-ups it caused. If it's all it can do, we're lucky. But if these things are proved to be unfriendly ... You got a point there, sir. Shall we drive closer so we can get a better look ? No, I think we oughta wait right here. They're watching us right now. Sergeant, get me Division HQ. I'll get some engineers here and see what's inside this thing. Calling Control ... Do you think it could be from another planet, sir ? Lieutenant ! ... When you've been in service as long as I have, you'll learn you don't have to think, you just follow standard procedure. Yes, sir. In this case, SOP calls for engineers, not guesses. Yes, sir. Excuse me, sir, I have Division HQ on up. Gimme that thing, Sergeant. I wanna report this myself. Division HQ ? This is Colonel Ambrose. I wanna report that the saucer did land near Pallam wood. Maybe he can't hear you. Hey, open up in there ! Hello ? Mr. Larkin ? Anybody home ? Johnny, we ain't got any right in here ! Operator ? Give me Police HQ, it's an emergency. - Hello, Police HQ ? - What's the trouble, young fella ? This is Johnny Carter. I'm at the Larkin's house near Pallam woods. Yes ... Yes I know you saw little green men. Oh sure, they're from another planet. If you see them again, give them my love and send them home. Saturday night. That's official. He thought I was kidding him ! Take it easy. Here, take these. Go in the kitchen, try and find some candles. I'll try the police again. Darn phone's gone dead. Bolt lightning must've got it. Take these, there's more candles in the kitchen. Something out there was looking at me ! Take it easy, honey. It's all right. Calm down, now. What are you doing in my house ? Our car hit something, we came in to call the police. The door was open. That gives you no right to come in. Who was it you hit ? - It wasn't a person, it was ... - I know. I know it was bound to happen ... With you kids running all over my property. I'll bet you killed one of my prized efforts. And if you did ... You're gonna pay for it, mind you that. - And I'll just call the police to it. - The phone's dead. That's what you say. Get over there the both of you. Get over there. Allo ? Allo ? ... So it is. - We didn't kill one of your cows. - It was a little green man, a monster ! - Have you kids been drinking ? - No, sir. That ain't turpentine I smell. It's alcohol. - You know, that's funny, I smell it too ! - Yeah, I smelled it before. What's your name, son ? Johnny Carter ... I work down at Mullon's gas station. I thought I'd seen you before. But we didn't hurt any of your animals. It was just a ... - (mumbling) - Okay ... Okay ... Mr. Larkin ! - ... messing around on my place. - Okay, take it easy now ! And you tell your young friends to keep off my property, or they'll get their backside loaded with rock shots. Now, get ! Come on, get out of here ! I'll know where to find you when I need you. Now get ! - What do we do now ? - I'll have to go back and fix that flat. It would have to happen tonight of all nights ! Come on, honey. - Well ? - Hello, Sandy ? This is Larkin. I want you to send a couple of cops out here. And get them smoochin' kids off my property ! I gotta go out and check my livestock. Tell them to hurry up, Sandy. I've never seen such pestering young'uns in my life ! - What's that ? - The wind, I guess. Anybody home ? (mumbling) ... messy young'uns, uh ! Anybody home ? Will you get me Watkins-10536 ? - Hello ? - Art ? ... Joe. - Listen, this time I got proof ! - What is it, Joe ? Listen, I can't tell you what it is. I swear I'm telling the truth, but ... - I can't tell you what it is, see. - Why ? 'Cause I don't know what it is ! It's stuck underneath the car. Get in a cab and come here right away, I need your help. Well that's too bad, I'm going back to sleep. - But Art ! - But nothing. Goodbye. Wait, don't hang up ! Will you do me one favor ? Clean everything out of the refrigerator. - The refrigerator ? - Yeah. What I'm bringing is perishable. We gotta keep it on ice. - You got it, Art ? - Everything out of the refrigerator. Yeah, that's my boy, Art. You won't regret this, I swear to you ! You believe me, don't you ? ... I'll be right home with it. Yeah, eve-everything out. Yeah, everything. You got it ? I got it, I got it ! You consarned hoodlums ! Refrigerator ... Everything out ... I need a stick to pry him loose. What the heck am I doing ? I'm as crazy as he is ! Listen ! Come on, let's go see what it is. It's one of those little things. A live one ! What's making all the noise ? He's banging away at the fender of our car with some kind of a crazy hammer ! I bet he thinks the car is responsible for killing his buddy. What do you mean ? Well, you know how the savages blame a rain god for every storm. Oh Johnny, let's get out of here ! - Honey ... - Oh, how much further ? It's another quarter mile to the highway, come on ! Come out. You will not be harmed. Answer me. Can you hear me, spaceship ? Answer me ! - Shall I try it again, sir ? - Go ahead. We have you surrounded. I don't believe anybody's in that thing. I think it's probably remote controlled. Would you want to walk up there and test your theory ? Well, no sir. Not particularly. And start thinking of a way to explain this thing without throwing the nation into a complete panic. Yes, sir. I wish we'd stuck to the road. These shoes weren't made for hiking. It's surely this way. Come on, honey. Hey, a police car ! They must've believed you after all. Let's go back. The police will take care of those things. Pardon me, sir. Maybe if we fired a few rounds, it might scare them out. - Anyway, get some reaction. - Go ahead. Go ahead, Corporal, fire a few rounds. This isn't getting us anywhere. Lieutenant, I want four volunteers to work acetylene torches. I wanna get inside that thing and see what makes it ticks. Yes, sir ! Let's have that again. You were driving without lights ? Yes, but it wouldn't made any difference anyway. He was so small, we wouldn't have seen him. Small ? Well, he couldn't have been over four feet high. And he was all green except his hands. - Green ? - Yes, sir. Boy, we sure glad you came along, we were really scared. I'll bet you are. Joe, get the doctor over here. Before I take it down to HQ, I want you to do something for me. I want you to blow up this little balloon. - What for ? - Never mind, just blow. Hold it up. We're wasting time ! Aren't you gonna do anything about the little green man ? - This may be a whole invasion ! - Blow ! This is the silliest thing yet. - A balloon test, uh ? - Yeah. Did you ever hear such a cock-and-bull story ? Green men. Spaceships. Wow. In my day, we were content with pink elephants. But kids these days ! The girl says to me : 'you don't call him human, do you ?' How do you like that ? What do you expect ? With all the killings they see in the movies and all. Do you smell that alcohol ? Those kids must have killed at least a quarter liquor. Hey, Mr. Detective ! I'm through now, can we get going ? For a guy who've commited a serious crime, you're awfully anxious to get to the police station ! Crime ? You don't call killing one of those monsters a crime ? Something awfully screwy around here ... Something or somebody. Come on, let's get going. Wait a minute, I just wanna explain this ! - I ... Look ... Wait a minute. - Get in ! Now if you just read that before you sign it. This is silly ! We told you what happened, now why don't you do something ! That's just what we are doing, miss. This is no statement. It's a confession ! You admit driving the car, don't you ? - Yeah, sure but ... - With the lights off ? Yeah, but I told you ... Whether you realize it or not, driving without lights and killing a man is a crime in this state ! Killing a man ? Look, you don't call killing that green monster .. ... that thing, a man ! And I haven't even added in the drunk driving. When we get the results of that balloon test, that'll be another strike against you ! Look officer, my father's the city attorney, and I demand that you send for him, right away ! Ha ! I've been waiting for that. It so happens that I know your father, and he's already been sent for. He'll straighten you out. I'm not saying another word, even if you beat it out of me. Beat it out of you ? It never fails. You try to be nice to some young punk, and the first thing you know, you're charged of using the third degree ! What's this about a third degree ? Oh ... Dad ! These people are crazy ! John and I had a horrible time. You told me you were going out with Bill Thomas, not with this rough neck ! But don't you worry about the monster ? I heard that ridiculous story when the Sergeant called me. Now, Joan, listen to me. If it's humanely possible, I'll get you out of this mess. As for that boy, he can take his medicine. Oh thanks. Thanks a lot ! We're ready for the identification, sir. We'll be right in. If you'll come with me, we'll make the formal identification. Wait till you see this thing, Mr. Hayden, than you'll believe us ! All right, Jim. Well ? - I didn't run over this man ! - Are you still on that kick ? - I ran over a monster ! - You see, I didn't exaggerate. - A little green man, I tell you ! - We've heard enough of that. - But I saw it ! - Do you know who he is ? According to the driver's license we found on him, his name is Joe Gruen, he lives at 121 Maple avenue. - Where did he work ? - Nowhere, as far as I could find out. He and a friend of his drifted into town about a month ago. - Friend ? - Fellow he lives with. We tried to get him on the phone to come over to identify the body, - and there was no answer. - I see. Can I talk to them alone for a minute ? Oh certainly Mr. Hayden. Use my office. Come on ! All right, Jim. Take him back. Come in. Now get this, both of you. We're lucky in one respect. The man you've killed is a nobody. There'll be only one person interested in the charges brought against you. That's his roommate. But daddy, I swear to you, Johnny didn't ... Be quiet ! At least, Johnny has sense enough to listen. Now then. Tomorrow, I'll go and talk to this Joe Gruen's roommate. See what I can do for Johnny. I can't do anything until then. Come on Joan, I'm taking you home. I'm not going, unless Johnny goes. How is it going ? We've almost got it. Just as soon as we cut through this seam. Hey, look at that ! Looks like some sort of fuse ! Hey, let's get out of here ! Come on ! There's been some kind of an explosion over in Pallam woods ! - What was that ? - Looks like something blew up. What do you suppose it was ? Joan, these little monsters, or whatever they are, are smarter than all of us put together ! What do you mean ? Remember when we watched one of them pound away at the fender of my car ? What's so smart about that ? Don't you see ? They killed this man and then dented the fender ! It's all a frame up ! Whatever it was, it sure burned out in a hurry. - Send out a patrol car right away. - All right, sir. And we thought they were mad at the car ! We've gotta go back there, and get some evidence. Something they'll believe. If we don't ... I'm going to jail. But Johnny, how ? They'll never let us out of here ! The window ! It's wide open ! - What about those two kids ? - I talked a little sense into their heads. The little fools ! They're gone ! So you talked some sense into them, did you ? The car's running, let's take it ! Don't put this in the record, I'll take the responsability. - You're still here ? - Of course, where should I be ? I just saw you car drive off so naturally I assumed ... If those two kids stole my car ... ! You said you'd be responsible for this, I hope you know what you're doing ! So do I, so do I ! Johnny, I'm awfully worried about taking this car ! After everything else, what's a little car theft ? Come on, let's go ! See anything, Joan ? Not a thing. Johnny ! Don't get so far away from me, I'm frightened. There's nothing to be afraid of, I'll handle them with this. What's going on here, Lieutenant ? Everything's under control, one of our jets crashed. Busy night, too. Plenty of calls from people who say they've seen flying saucers and little green monsters. Wonder how that rumor ever got started ? You got me, Sarge. Here we go again, see you later. Johnny, this is silly. The police were all over here and they didn't find a thing. I guess you're right. Might as well go back. I'm sorry, Johnny, but I just can't relax. I guess you're right. Would have to happen tonight of all nights ! Johnny, it's cold in here. What is this, a reflex action ? Seems like the natural thing to do out here. I wonder if any of the gang saw those things ? How do you mean ? There are a lot of them out there, and if any of them did see it, that would convince the police that we were telling the truth ! Sometime I think it doesn't matter how many times a kid try to tell'em something, they still don't believe it. It's an idea. Let's go to the Point and see if any of the gang is still there. What we got to loose ? What's so funny ? I expected to be frightened on my wedding night but ... ... Nothing like this ! Stand back an I'll slam the door ! Johnny, help me ! Help me ! Take it easy, honey. It's trapped in the car. You're all right ? Johnny, get me away from here ! Please, Johnny ! Joan, this is it, don't you see ! At last we got some evidence. But how do we get it to the police station ? You got a point, there. Gotta get somebody out here and see this thing ! But who, Johnny ? Remember at the police station. Your father was right about one thing. The only person who'd be interested is Joe Gruen's roommate. - He's our only chance. - But where is he ? Don't you remember ? Police said he lived at 121 Maple street. We'll go there and find him ! - Yes, yes I remember. - Come on, let's go ! First let's get my car, my legs are killing me ! All right, all right. Who goes watching the place ? Killed by little green men, uh ? That is, without a doubt, the craziest story I've ever heard ! Look, will you phone and check with the police ! They've been trying to get you all night, - and nobody answered. - Yeah, thanks to these ! When you live with a big mouth like Joe Gruen, you gotta have a secret weapon. Will you please call the police ! Please ! Okay, but if this is some kind of a gag ... Whatever you do, don't mention our names. If they know we're here, we're done for. Don't worry. Hello, Police station ? This is Art Burns. I live at 121 Maple street, with my roommate, Joe Gruen. Did you say Joe Gruen ? We've been trying to get a hold of you. Your roommate was killed tonight. Victim of a hit-and-run. Killed ? Do you know who did it ? A couple of kids, a boy and a girl. They've given us the slip but we'll catch them again, don't worry. You mean you had them and you let them get away ? Yeah ... And were they scared ! You should have heard them talking about little green men. - I have. - You have what ? Nothing, never mind. Thanks, officer, thanks a lot. Can you come down tomorrow and claim the body ? Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Well, are we telling you the truth ? Your story checks out. Joe kept trying to tell me something about it. Will you go with us now ? I'll say I will. I'm not saying there is a claw, mind you. But if there is, I'm gonna get a picture of it. - Wow, that's a hot one ! - What's so funny ? I was just thinking how Joe's gonna feel when I put him on exhibition as the world's first victim of a spaceman ! Does it work ? It worked all right for the nazi I took it from. - You disarmed a nazi soldier ? - Sure. Well, of course, he was dead at the time. Can we be going now ? Sure. Just gimme a couple seconds to put some clothes on. Hey ! I thought you said the police had your car. They do, this belongs to Joan. Darn, the battery's almost dead. When's the last time you checked the water ? Every time the man at the gas station asks me. Not the radiator, he means the battery water. Well, what's that ? - How about a push ? - I'm a guest here, remember ? All right, all right ! Come on, Joan. How do you like this ? No top,no motor, but a brand new shiny spotlight ! Somebody afraid of the dark ? I didn't get it for that ! - What did you get it for ? - A girl always need an extra mirror. What a pile of junk ! Please, watch your langage, Elvis is very sensitive ! - Elvis ? - The gang calls her Elvis. She pants and shimmies, but she really goes ! Did you get rid of him ? Yes, I gave him the story that one of our jets crashed and that we were taking care of everything. Did they believe you ? Colonel, you are talking to the man who made the papers believe that 45 years old girls were teenage maidens ! This was duck soup. - We're about through, sir. - Good. When they've finished, let the camouflage boys do their work. Yes, sir. Let's get moving, men ! Must be here somewhere ! Let's look on the other side. I can't see a thing ! It's in there. It's got to be ! Wait a minute, I'll turn the spotlight on it. - What was that ? - Artie, did you see it ? I saw something. Whatever it is, it's down there on the floor. Johnny, kill the headlights. Remember the battery. Look at that ! I never would've believed it ! Seeing is believing. Hey Johnny, bring my camera. I wanna get a picture of this ! Well I'll be ... It's gone ! But it was right there, I saw it ! They'll believe us when Art backs us up. They can't accuse him of being a hysterical kid. Let's get to town ! What was that ? Don't get excited. You gotta be calm when you call the police. I'm glad you told me. Darn it ! Battery. Turn the lights off. That'll give you more juice. Yeah, good idea ! Give us the gun ! Did I hit it ? - Can't see anything. - It certainly sounds like you did ! They're in the bushes ! - Bullets don't hurt them ! - You're sure you're hitting them ? Johnny, use the spotlight. Turn the spotlight on ! It's the light that hurts ! Take this. Gimme the spotlight. What do we do now ? Spotlight's getting dimmer. Battery's going dead. - Cut off the headlights. - Yeah, you're right. Here they come again ! Looks like we've had it ! Getting dimmer ! Come on, we'd better make a run for it ! Johnny ! The camera ! The flashbulb ! Come on, it's now or never ! - Did you find any signs of life, sir ? - Nothing. Whatever flew that thing down here went up in smoke. - Nothing's left but ashes. - Job well done, sir. Makes you proud, does it, Lieutenant ? - What does, Colonel ? - Being part of a show like this. Protecting our country from alien invaders. Just think of it. Only this special unit, and the President of the United States, will know what happened here tonight. You mean you think we know what's happened ? Well, of course we do ! Colonel, this top secret security business is like scratching ... Once you get started, it's hard to stop. What are you getting at, Lieutenant ? Spit it out ! Did it ever occured to you that there might be other units, just like ours, covering up other things ? I can't go another step, Johnny ! I've got to rest ! I think we're safe here for a minute. Do you think they killed Art ? I don't know. I saw them pick him up and carry him away. Johnny, we've got to get help. We've got to ! We can't just leave him to those creatures. What are we gonna do ? I don't know. Johnny ... What if we'd turn ourselves into the police ? You're kidding, aren't you ? Don't you see ? If we get the police out here, we'll get them to help Art out in some way. Yeah, that's an idea. Come on, let's go use Larkin's phone. Well, that does it. - Not a trace. - It's a good night's work ! Now we can go home and get some sleep. Yeah ... And read about a jet crash in tomorrow's morning papers. - What did you say ? - Nothing, sir. Nothing at all. But I tell you, we're ready to give ourselves up. If you'll just come out to the Larkin farm ! You're not wanted anymore. Why don't you go home and sleep it off ? What about Joe Gruen ? According to the autopsy we did, the cause of death was heart failure, due to alcoholism. The alcohol content of his blood was the highest our coroner had ever seen ! What about the fender of my car ? You said that proved I hit him. Oh you hit him alright. But only after he was dead ! After ? Yeah, the way we figure, he was drunk. And he ran the car off the road, and down the hill. We found a liquor bottle near it. You found his car ? Yeah, that's what tipped us off. He must've managed to get out of his car, and climb back up to the road. The exhaustion and the alcohol were just too much for his ticker, and he conked out. Then you kids must've come along, and run over his body. But won't you come out here ! What for ? You're in the clear. What about taking your car ? You still want us for car theft ! One of our patrol car has recovered my car when they went out to check on an airplane crash. But we stole it just the same ! Don't worry young lady, your father took care of that. Look, why don't both of you go home and sleep it off ! And don't bother me again ! Mr. Hayden. Mr. Hayden ! Trust Daddy. He came through again. What about Lover's Point ? No, not at a time like this ! Don't be silly, I mean the gang. They may still be there. They'll help us. They'll believe us. - What makes you think so ? - I know so. They aren't like our parents or the police. They won't think we're drunk or crazy or anything just because we're young. You know, I think you're right ! Come on, let's go ! Doggone kids ! Look what they've done to Oswald. I'll fix him ! You go this way, I'll go that. We were attacked by weird creatures ! What ? Tom, Liz, you gotta help us. And they captured him ! The police wouldn't believe us. Will you help us ? I'll show you the way. Come on ! They're heading toward that clearing where there used to be a nice pond, remember ? Yeah, yeah ! Okay, gang. Now everybody turn off your lights. Once we get up there, we'll surround the clearing. Once we're in position, I'll give a signal, like this. That'll be the signal for everybody to turn on your lights. Does everybody got it ? Yeah, yeah ! Okay, gang, let's go. Hey, Johnny, wait for me ! I was lonely back there. Let's go. Come on, gang ! Hey, what's happened ? Where am I, uh ? You're alright. Little green men had you but ... we burned them up Wow, what a buzz I got out of it. Hey, is this some kind of a gag ? But how, Johnny ? Just like his roommate. Acute alcoholism ! These monsters kill their victims by sticking them with alcohol. Pure alcohol ! Why isn't he dead then, like Joe Gruen ? Let me finish ! You don't happen to die unless you're already loaded. And if you are, that's it. Too much ... He just had too much. What's going on here ? How did I get here ? What is this ? Some kind of a joke ? You gotta remember. Remember ! No use, Johnny, he won't remember a thing of what's happened. Yeah, just like anybody else who's been on a bend. Now you kids listen to me ! You got my bull drunk. I'm gonna take the law into my own hands. If you're not off my land in 60 seconds, I'm gonna start shooting. I'll bet that no one will ever believe us. Of course not ! After all, we're just crazy kids. Come on. Get out ! But what if they come back again ? What if there's more around right now ? I guess the best thing we can hope is that the next guy who runs into one is a 100% certified adult ! Messy young'uns ! Oh well ! Being young has its compensations. Hey Paul ! Paul ! How would you like to be my best man ? Johnny, I can't get married like this ! - I'll swap dresses with you. - Then you can be my maid of honor ! Young'uns ! - Hey, you two slipped your track ? - No we just got back on it ! Get in there, and let's drive ! So that's my story. Poor Daddy. Johnny and Joan helped me remember a little of it. But I wrote it, you understand. A true story ? Well, that's the nice thing about all this book writing business ... You pay before you read. Subs made in Belgium (The End... ...Until next time.) Chrome58 - 2014.12.28