The Journal (Hey Arnold!)

Hey Arnold!: Season: 5 Episode: 19-20

[incomplete]


 * (Arnold and his parents are sailing on a ship)

Miles: Sure is good to be on this adventure, isn’t it?

Stella: Especially since we’re all together.

Miles: Yeah. (Arnold drinks hot chocolate, and a ship appears in the distance.)

Arnold: Look, a ship.

Miles: Pirates… (The ship fires a cannonball; Miles grabs two swords.) Arnold! Stay at the helm, we’ll deal with the pirates.

Stella: Don’t worry son, we’ll be right back. (Miles and Stella board the enemy ship, which fires more cannonballs at Arnold.)

Arnold: Mom? Dad? (The sky clears, leaving an empty ocean.) Mom! Dad! Come back! Come back! (Gasps, sighs, and rips a calendar page, revealing the date: October 5. He then takes out a picture of his parents. While he’s looking at it, there’s a knock on the door.) Come in.

Grandpa: Morning, short man.
 * Arnold
 * Hi Grandpa.


 * Grandpa
 * I, um… brought you some breakfast.


 * Arnold
 * Thanks. That’s really nice of you.


 * Grandpa
 * Sure. Do you want me to leave it here and you can… maybe eat it later?


 * Arnold
 * Uh, sure.


 * Grandpa
 * Okie dokie then. If you need me or Grandma, we’ll… we’ll be around.


 * Arnold
 * Okay.
 * (Phil leaves the room. It is raining.)


 * (Arnold watches a toy ship. His classmates come by.)


 * Harold
 * Hey, Arnooold!


 * Gerald
 * Come on man, we’re all going to Dinoland!


 * Helga
 * It’s half-price day.


 * Stinky
 * Yeah, and they finally fixed the Tyrannoscare-us Rex roller coaster! We’re all going to get in line!
 * (Everyone except Arnold cheers.)


 * Arnold
 * No thanks.


 * Harold
 * Whaat?


 * Helga
 * But it’s half-price day! What are you holding out for, cheapskate? Football-heads-get-in-free day?


 * Arnold
 * I think I’m gonna hang out at home today. Have fun you guys.


 * Helga
 * Huh, well, you’re a barrel of laughs. Okay, fine, loser. Be that way. Come on, let’s get to Dinoland before the ride breaks down again.


 * Harold
 * So long, loser.
 * (Everyone except Gerald leaves.)


 * Gerald
 * Hey Arnold, are you okay?


 * Arnold
 * Yeah…


 * Gerald
 * You sure?


 * Arnold
 * Well, it’s just that today’s the anniversary of the day my parents left… and never came back.


 * Gerald
 * I’m sorry, man. Hey, nevermind what those guys said. They’re just goofin’, they don’t know what’s going on with you.


 * Arnold
 * I know. It’s just that.. I wanna be by myself today, that’s all.


 * Gerald
 * You sure you don’t want some company?


 * Arnold
 * No thanks. Go on, Gerald. Have fun at Dinoland. Ride one for me, okay?


 * Gerald
 * Ok. Catch you later, Arnold.


 * Helga
 * (behind a car) Ohh, Arnold, how could I mock you, on the saddest of anniversaries? How I long to repent my cruel words, and fill the empty space that resides within your heart. Oh, my poor, parentless beloved, look at you; waiting for something that cannot be. As you keep your silent (words???), I shall stand by you, unbeknownst, ever faithful, eternally true, and never abandoning you. Whoa! (Car speeds away, making her fall into mud. She gets up and sticks her tongue out at Arnold.)


 * (Small montage: Arnold flies his toy plane, goes back in, sits on the stoop again, sees a happy kid with his parents. He gets angry and goes upstairs.)


 * Grandpa
 * Hey, short man. What’s going on?


 * Arnold
 * I’m packing up my parents’ stuff.


 * Grandpa
 * Really? What for?


 * Arnold
 * So I can put it in the attic where it belongs.


 * Grandpa
 * Whaa-
 * (Arnold unfolds the ladder to the attic.)
 * Oh, I know you feel sad, Arnold. Your grandma and I feel sad too.


 * Arnold
 * I’m just fed up, grandpa! I don’t wanna think about my parents anymore. I’m sick of hoping that they’ll come back someday.


 * Grandpa
 * Wait, you didn’t give up on your memories, Arnold; that’s who are important. You should celebrate ‘em.


 * Arnold
 * It’s time to move on.
 * (Arnold takes off his hat)


 * Grandpa
 * (gasp)


 * Arnold
 * I don’t wanna hear any more stories about my parents. (Arnold throws his hat into the box. As he places it on a shelf, something drops.)
 * What’s this?


 * Grandpa
 * Well, looks like some kind of journal.


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa, it’s my dad’s…


 * Grandpa
 * Let me see. Holy cannoli, short man! You’re right!
 * Well, it’s too bad you don’t wanna hear any more stories, so I’ll ju- (Arnold grabs the journal and goes back for his hat.)


 * Arnold
 * I can’t believe we found this!


 * Grandpa
 * Well, your dad must’ve written this stuff around the time he was in San Lorenzo.


 * Arnold
 * That’s in Central America. I read all about it in school.


 * Grandpa
 * And don’t forget about all the stories I’ve told ya.


 * Arnold
 * Yeah, I can’t wait to find out what actually happened, and what parts you made up.


 * Grandpa
 * Made up?! What are you talking about, every story I ever told you is one hundred percent true, and this journal will prove it!


 * Grandma
 * Well then let’s read it. I made sandwiches.


 * Arnold
 * Great, I’m starving!
 * (while chewing on a sandwich) Well, come on grandpa, read it! What’s it say? What’s it say?


 * Grandpa
 * All right, all right. Calm down. Chew a little before you swallow Arnold, and don’t spill on the journal! It’s a precious family relic. Okay, here goes.
 * "March 15th. Today I met the woman I’m going to marry." Aww, that’s sweet. Hope he’s writing about your mom, Arnold.


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * We met when I stumbled into a research party. I was out hiking with my college friend Eduardo, an anthropologist from San Lorenzo. I fell behind a groove.


 * Miles
 * Aaaah! Ow!
 * (Stella comes running)
 * Hi. I’m Miles. Ow.


 * Stella
 * I’m Stella.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Stella. What a beautiful name. You know what that means, short man?


 * Arnold
 * No.


 * Grandpa
 * I was hoping you would.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * She’s a doctor and a botanist.


 * Stella
 * I’m down here studying the local plant life, looking for cures for jungle diseases. I wanna bring healthcare to all people, no matter where they live.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * She’s amazing. So smart. I told her about my anthropology project, how I’m studying the local culture and helping communities improve the quality of their life. Hope she’s impressed.


 * Miles
 * (hits his head on a branch) Ow.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Hmm. Maybe she thinks I’m a goof. Oh well, call me a romantic, but I think we’re perfect for each other.
 * (Miles and Stella enter a temple)


 * Miles
 * Hey look. Oh, o-okay, I can read this. "This temple is dedicated to the sacred… spider?" (gasp)
 * (They run out of the temple)
 * I hate spiders, I hate spiders, I hate spiders!


 * Stella
 * Me too. Oh, but I love you.
 * (cut to another area)


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Today I hiked with Stella to the highest point in the area. There’s an amazing view from the top of the cliffs.


 * Stella
 * Who told you about this trail, anyway?


 * Miles
 * Eduardo.


 * Stella
 * Yeah, how come he didn’t come with us?


 * Miles
 * He said it was really something you only wanna do once.


 * Stella
 * Oh, uh-huh. I’m gonna punch him when we get back.


 * Miles
 * If we get back.
 * (The ground below them collapses. They fall into rapids.)


 * Miles
 * You okay?


 * Stella
 * Never better! What’s that roaring noise?


 * Miles
 * Oh man.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * It was a pony fall! We swam away from the cataract as hard as we could, but the current was way too strong.


 * Stella
 * I’m really gonna punch him when we get back!


 * Miles
 * Stella!


 * Stella
 * Miles!


 * Miles
 * I love you!
 * (They fall down the waterfall and into a net.)


 * Stella
 * What… just happened?


 * Miles
 * Somebody saved us!


 * Stella
 * Who?
 * (A native runs away)


 * Miles
 * Hey, wait! Hold on! Espérate, we wanna thank you!


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Our mysterious savior was gone. But then, Stella saw his calling card on the wall. It was the symbol of the elusive Green-Eyed People; the original inhabitants of San Lorenzo. Thought to be a lost civilization like the Mayans, and the subject of many incredible stories, but who no outsider had ever seen.


 * Grandpa (reading)
 * "Clearly, the Green-Eyes saved our lives. Stella and I bowed to thank them somehow, to pay them back by some good deed of our own." Woooh!


 * Arnold
 * This is so cool! You told me stories about the Green-Eyed People.


 * Grandpa
 * Yes, the mysterious Green-Eyed People. Almost as mysterious as this sandwich. What the heck’s in this, Pookie?


 * Grandma
 * Oh, peanut butter and scrod. It’s an old family recipe.
 * (Phil spits out the sandwich, Abner comes running and eats it.)


 * Grandpa
 * Oh, Abner, stop acting like a pig!
 * (Phil drops the remaining sandwiches to the floor.)


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa, can we get back to the story?


 * Grandpa
 * The butler did it. Oops! Gave away the ending!
 * (Grandma laughs)


 * Arnold
 * The story about the Green-Eyed People!


 * Grandma
 * Aah, yes, the Green-Eyed People… Aren’t they the people who installed our air conditioning? You know, I don’t really trust them. I think they took the change I had in the cookie jar.


 * Grandpa
 * No, Pookie. You’re thinking of Oskar.


 * Grandma
 * Oh, am I?


 * Arnold
 * Can we please get back to the journal?


 * Grandpa
 * Okay, but first I gotta take a whiz like a race horse. (Cracks back) Anyone need anything from the kitchen while I’m gone?


 * Grandma
 * I demand to see the chef! There’s a fly in my soup!


 * Grandpa
 * Alright, I’ll see what I can do about it.


 * Arnold
 * (sighs)

(Fade to black)
 * Grandpa
 * (Sound of toilet flushing) Aah! Don’t go in there for a while. Okay, back to your father’s amazing journal. Let’s see, where were we? (Arnold laughs) Ah!


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Monday: busy day. We learned from Eduardo that the evil river pirate, Lasombra, had stolen a sacred relic called The Corazón from the Green-Eyes. We figured that returning this precious artifact would be the perfect opportunity to pay the Green-Eyes back. So Stella and I tracked Lasombra down.
 * (Miles and Stella run through the jungle. Miles whips a branch over a waterfall.)


 * Miles
 * Hang on. (swings to the other side)


 * Lasombra
 * NAAAAAH! You meddling do-gooder gringos! I’ll get the Corazón back if it’s the last thing I ever do!!
 * (Miles and Stella land on the other side. The Corazón starts glowing.)


 * Miles
 * Wait! No, stop, don’t look! We can’t. They say it’s too sacred.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * After days of searching in the remote interior of San Lorenzo, we came to a forested valley not found on any map. There, the Green-Eyes had built one of their stone shrines that marked the borders of their ancient realm.
 * (They place The Corazón on the shrine. It disappears, and leaves a small object behind.)
 * The Green-Eyed People were so grateful for the return of their precious Corazón, that they accepted us as members of their family.


 * Grandpa (continuing previous narration)
 * I even hoped they would invite us to their hidden city. But they’re still too secretive.


 * Arnold
 * Their hidden city? Where’s that?


 * Grandpa
 * I don’t know, Arnold. That’s why they call it "the hidden city", it’s hidden, see? Can I please continue?


 * Arnold
 * Sure, grandpa. Read on.


 * Grandpa
 * Oh! Oh, this is good. Hoho, you’re gonna like this. Your dad just asked your mom to marry him.


 * Arnold
 * Wow! And she said "Yes", right?


 * Grandpa
 * Let’s see. Actually, she said "No thank you". The end. Roll credits.


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa!


 * Grandpa
 * Okay, okay, she said yes. And the wedding was set for the following month, which brings us to our next chapter. "It was a beautiful, tranquil day in-


 * Grandma
 * Jolly-old England! Eager crowds packed the London streets. Your mother arrived in a horse-drawn carriage. The diamonds in her tiara sparkling. Your father, resplendent with his gold-tip sword, escorted her into Saint Paul’s Cathedral, where he-


 * Grandpa
 * Pookie! That was Prince Charles and Lady Diana’s wedding, you crazy nincompoop! Now, be quiet and stop interrupting the story!
 * As I was saying, "It was a beautiful, tranquil day in the rainforest of San Lorenzo."


 * Grandpa (continuing previous narration)
 * My family and friends came from all over the world and gathered together at an ancient Mayan temple. We waited nervously for the arrival of the most anticipated person of them all - the reason we were all assembled, the focus of the whole event, my beloved, talented, handsome father - Phil!


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa.


 * Grandpa
 * Heh-heh. Just seeing if you’re paying attention, Arnold.
 * (Stella arrives on a boat, butterflies fly around.)


 * Miles
 * Wow. You look amazing.


 * Stella
 * You’re not so bad yourself.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * The ceremony began, and as we exchanged our vows, Eduardo translated for those who weren’t familiar with the local dialect.


 * Local Priest
 * (reads a scroll unknown South American dialect) Miles. (continues speaking) Stella. (speaks for a long time)


 * Eduardo
 * Do you Miles, take Stella to be your wife?


 * Miles
 * I do.


 * Local Priest
 * (claps for a local to bring him an even bigger scroll, then reads until night)


 * Eduardo
 * Do you Stella, take Miles to be your husband?


 * Stella
 * (Miles and Stella get up from the floor) I do.


 * Local Priest
 * Chak-a Mat-a


 * Eduardo
 * By the power invested in me, as an ordain minister of the glorious Republic of San Lorenzo, I now pronounce you, Mr. and Mrs.- *burp*


 * Grandpa
 * Pookie! I told you to go easy on the frijoles!


 * Grandma
 * Sorry!


 * Eduardo
 * You may now kiss the bride.

(The ground starts shaking)
 * Miles
 * Oh, it’s like I can feel the earth moving under my feet.


 * Stella
 * I know. I felt it too. (they kiss again)


 * Eduardo
 * (grabs the priest as the guests scream) Take cover amigos! We’re having a temblor! An earthquake! (rock structures collapse)


 * Stella
 * Oh well. At least the cake is okay.


 * Grandpa
 * (emerges from the cake) It’s more than okay. It’s delicious.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Undorted by the surprise visit from Mother Nature, the reception continued until the wee hours. It was quite a time.


 * Grandma
 * Woo-woo! Woo-woo! Here comes the train! (laughs)


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Even the Green-Eyed People showed up. Of course, none of us actually saw them.


 * Miles
 * What is it?


 * Stella
 * It’s a piglet. Wh-From the Green-Eyed People.


 * Miles
 * Oh, I’ve heard about this. It’s a tradition. It’s meant to bring good luck.


 * Eduardo
 * Why didn’t you get the pig before the earthquake?


 * Grandpa
 * Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s fire up the grill!


 * Stella
 * No, no, we can’t eat her! She’s a gift! And she’s cute!


 * Grandpa
 * Not that cute.


 * Stella
 * I wanna keep her. As a pet. What do you think, Miles?


 * Miles
 * I think it’s a great idea.


 * Stella
 * Good. We’ll call her Isabelle.


 * Miles
 * (takes a better look at the pig) On second thought, why don’t we call him Abner? (Stella laughs)


 * Arnold
 * Abner was a wedding present to my parents?


 * Grandpa
 * That’s right.


 * Arnold
 * A wedding present from the Green-Eyed People?


 * Grandpa
 * Correct.


 * Arnold
 * And you were gonna eat him!?


 * Grandpa
 * Hey-I-I couldn’t help it! He looked tasty! A-And the only thing I had to eat all day was that darn cake. Those are empty calories, Arnold. Empty!


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa, that’s completely crazy!


 * Grandpa
 * Oh, we were all a little crazy back then! It was a style in those days.


 * Grandma
 * Well heck, some of us are still crazy!


 * Grandpa
 * Oh, easy there Pookie! You just had a huge hoagie.


 * Arnold
 * So, what happened next?


 * Grandpa
 * Ah, let’s see… wedding, earthquake, reception, pig… Aha! Here we are! Later that night, after all the guests had gone, we went back to our hut. It was the hottest night the jungle ever had… oh… (mumbles) Okay Arnold, time for bed!


 * Arnold
 * But it’s only six o’clock, Grandpa!


 * Grandpa
 * Six o’clock? It’s dinner time! Why don’t you go order some chinese? Food, that is!


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa, how can you be hungry? We just ate a whole platter of sandwiches.


 * Grandpa
 * Don’t question me Arnold, I’m your elder and I know what’s best. Now go order some chinese.


 * Arnold
 * Okay… fine. I’ll order chinese.


 * Grandpa
 * Whew! Sheesh, I thought he’d never leave.


 * Grandma
 * Who?


 * Grandpa
 * Arnold.


 * Grandma
 * Well, which one is he?


 * Grandpa
 * Our grandson.


 * Grandma
 * Oh, we should introduce him to the nice little blond boy who was just here.


 * Grandpa
 * Fine Pookie, I’ll get right on it.

(cut to later)
 * Grandpa (singing)
 * Chop… Suey, chicken Chop Suey, it’s so hard to beat the smell of soy, no Bok Choy… I’m so happy to eat it.


 * Arnold
 * Uh, Grandpa, you think we can get back to the journal now?


 * Grandpa
 * Wait a minute. First I have to read my fortune. (the fortune reads "13 13 666") He-hey, not bad. Things are looking up!


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa. The journal.


 * Grandpa
 * Okay, okay, I’m on it. Ooh, their honeymoon. "Today we arrived at exotic Rio de Janeiro."


 * Arnold
 * Wait. I thought you told me that they spent their honeymoon at the North Pole.


 * Grandpa
 * No I didn’t.


 * Grandma
 * But you said-


 * Grandpa
 * Wasn’t me.


 * Arnold
 * Okay, fine. They arrived in exotic Rio de Janeiro.


 * Grandpa
 * Thank you!


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * We spent the first day of our honeymoon strolling around the inner harbor. At sunset, we decided to ride the cable car to the top of Sugarloaf Mountain. Eduardo says there’s an amazing view from the top, but’s the kinda thing ya only wanna do once.


 * Miles
 * Thanks for coming up here anyway, Stella.
 * (the wire of a cable car snaps)


 * Stella
 * Miles, we gotta do something, quick!


 * Miles
 * I got an idea.
 * (They run into another car)
 * If I can catch the handle on the door, I can pull the other car close enough for everyone to jump across. (climbs to the roof of the car) With your help, of course.


 * Stella
 * (stops the car, Miles whips the door open)
 * Nice shot. Okay, come on. You doing great. One more. (to boy) Come on, you can do it.


 * Rio Boy
 * No, I can’t!


 * Stella
 * Please, just take my hand.


 * Rio Lady
 * Do what the nice lady says, honey.


 * Rio Boy
 * I can’t. I’m too scared! (cable car breaks further) No!


 * Stella
 * Well, I guess I’ll just have to come get you mys-oh! Here I am. Good. Now, put your arms around my neck and hold on. (Stella gets to the other car)


 * Rio Lady
 * Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.


 * Stella
 * No problem. (cable car gives way, taking Stella with it)


 * Miles
 * Stellaaa!
 * (Jumps and falls on top of the car)


 * Stella
 * Oh!


 * Miles
 * Honeymoon’s not over yet.


 * Stella
 * If we don’t get off this thing we’ll be smashed to pieces.


 * Miles
 * I know, that’s why we gotta jump!


 * Stella
 * Ah! I was afraid you were gonna say that.


 * Miles
 * We’ll do it on three. Okay, THREE!!
 * (they jump into the water below. Cut to Stella in a swimming pool, sitting down next to an injured Miles)


 * Stella
 * Thanks handsome. Hey, remind me never to take another travel suggestion from your old buddy Eduardo.


 * Eduardo
 * Miles! Stella! There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you two!


 * Stella
 * How’d you get here?


 * Eduardo
 * I was sent by the Green-Eyed People. I’m so sorry to interrupt your honeymoon, but they’re in terrible trouble amigos! They wanted me to give you this.


 * Miles (reading in pain)
 * It says they’ve been struck by a mysterious disease… that many have perished… and they need us to come to them right away-Ow!


 * Eduardo
 * Stella, they need your medical expertise! You two are the only people they trust.


 * Stella
 * Then I guess we… we’d better get going.


 * Grandpa
 * Your mom, dad, and Eduardo left Rio and took off for the San Lorenzo jungle, and we’ll get to the rest of that story right after I hit the restroom.


 * Arnold
 * Again?


 * Grandpa
 * Never get old, Arnold! Never get old!


 * Arnold
 * (sighs)

(Fade to black. If you’re watching the two-part version of this episode, this is were Part One ends.)
 * Grandpa
 * Woo! I feel like a new man! Light as a feather. Anyway, back to the journal.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * We parachuted into the heart of the jungle, the volcanic mountains of San Lorenzo. Where we’d last seen any sign of the mysterious Green Eye.

(Miles and Stella parachute into the jungle, with Miles getting stuck in tree branches)
 * Stella
 * You okay, Miles?


 * Miles
 * Never better.

(They arrive at a Green Eye site where they previously returned the Corazón.)
 * Stella
 * Miles, look. Dead butterflies. They always die first. It’s the sleeping sickness, Miles.


 * Miles
 * And now it’s hit the Green Eyes.


 * Stella
 * We’ve gotta make a serum. Fast.
 * (Stella looks at a book)
 * We’ll need some red moss from the San Juan river, the nose whisker of a wild Bolivian boar, and the root of a Panamanian zapote tree.


 * Miles
 * Right. Sounds easy.


 * Miles
 * (sighs) Okay, I give up. We’ve looked under every rock on this entire river, and no red moss.


 * Stella
 * Umm… you haven’t looked under every rock. (points to a rock above the river)


 * Miles
 * (sighs)


 * Stella
 * There he is.
 * (Miles approaches the boar, hiding behind bushes)
 * Careful…


 * Miles
 * (gets the whisker, only to get caught in a spider web and wake up the boar)
 * I hate spiders, I hate spiders, I hate spiders! Aaah!


 * Miles
 * Okay, I admit the first two were hard, but this one will be easy!
 * (Miles and Stella grab shovels, only for him to step on quicksand)
 * Umm.. oh-oh. Stella! Stellaaa!


 * Stella
 * Miles! (She ties a vine around her, and dives into the quicksand to save Miles)


 * Miles
 * (panting) Like I said, that was easy. (shows the root)

(Miles and Stella sleep on the plane while Eduardo flies it. Cut to them making the syrum in their hut, while Eduardo hunts butterflies. The syrum at first fails, but later works.)
 * Stella
 * Got it.

(They leave the syrum at the site from before.)
 * Miles
 * I hope we’re not too late.

(A wind blows, and the scene cuts to them sleeping in their hut.)
 * Stella
 * (sees gift from the Green Eyes) Miles.


 * Miles
 * Wow. A double thank-you.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Later that night, we toasted Stella for making the life-saving syrum.


 * Miles
 * To Stella!


 * Eduardo
 * The Florence Nightingale of San Lorenzo!


 * Stella
 * Ehh. (drops drink)


 * Miles
 * Are you okay, Honey? What’s wrong?


 * Stella
 * I’m fine, but when that drink hit my stomach… No good.


 * Miles
 * Your stomach? Maybe you should lie down.


 * Stella
 * Don’t worry, I’m okay.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Despite what Stella had said, I was worried. Really worried. I couldn’t help but think--


 * Arnold
 * What was wrong with her? Was she really sick?


 * Grandpa
 * Well, she was, um… sorta kinda, you know, in a manner of speaking…


 * Arnold
 * Was it food poisoning?


 * Grandpa
 * No.


 * Arnold
 * Tropical flu?


 * Grandpa
 * No, whatever that is.


 * Arnold
 * Oh, I know.


 * Grandpa
 * Do you?


 * Arnold
 * She caught the sleeping sickness.


 * Grandpa
 * Eeeeh. Nope, wrong, but thank you for playing.


 * Arnold
 * O-Okay, I give up.


 * Grandpa
 * Don’t give up, ya quitter! Okay, I’ll give ya a hint. Your mother was going to have…


 * Grandma
 * A hernia?


 * Grandpa
 * No, no, no, no. It’s a good thing she was going to have. It rhymes with "maybe".


 * Grandma
 * Rabies!


 * Grandpa
 * Oh! Think, she was going to have a… Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.


 * Arnold
 * A baby!


 * Grandpa
 * Oh yeah! Bingo!


 * Stella
 * (comes out of clinic) I’m pregnant. We’re gonna have a baby.


 * Grandpa (to Arnold)
 * And do you know who that baby was?


 * Arnold
 * Me?


 * Grandpa
 * Right again, Shortman!


 * Grandma (singing)
 * Baby, baby! Stick your head in gravy! Wash it out with bubblegum and send it to the navy!


 * Grandpa
 * Pookie! Pookie! Pookie, enough, stop! Eh. So there you were Arnold, in your mommy’s belly.


 * Arnold
 * Okay, great. Can we move on?


 * Grandpa
 * Heh-heh-heh. Making you uncomfortable, ah? Okay, let’s move on.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * The last few months have been very productive. Eduardo and I have been clearing land, planting crops, and building a school, while Stella grows more and more pregnant.
 * With Arnold! That’s you, Arnold! Heh-heh-heh.


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa…


 * Miles
 * (Stella complains)
 * You okay? You look kinda pale.


 * Stella
 * Never better.


 * Miles
 * (gasps) You mean…


 * Stella
 * (nods)


 * Miles
 * Okay. (whistles, Eduardo comes with a litter) Your ride’s here.

(the three move through the jungle)
 * Stella
 * Look, smoke. That must be the town.


 * Miles
 * That’s great. We’re nearly there.


 * Eduardo
 * Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the hospital is just around that mountain.


 * Stella
 * And the bad news?


 * Eduardo
 * The mountain… it’s a volcano. It’s called Volcan Turriable. But don’t worry, volcanoes smoke all the time. I’m sure that’s all it’ll do.

(Volcano erupts, animals start making sounds)
 * Miles
 * Oh, great. We get here right when it’s erupting!


 * Stella
 * So am I!


 * Miles
 * Oh, this isn’t good!


 * Grandpa (reading)
 * The volcano started spitting out fire and smoke like crazy! It was both beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Sorta like you, Pookie.


 * Grandma
 * Back at ya, sweetcheeks!


 * Arnold
 * Then what happened? Then what happened!?


 * Grandpa
 * Okay, okay.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * The earth heaved and shook! The air thundered with the shrieks of jungle animals! And (words???) rivers of molten lava came pouring down from every direction, cutting off our escape!

(Fiery proyectiles come flying down around the trio, as they avoid the lava.)
 * Stella
 * (groans)

(Miles and Eduardo move Stella, as the litter is burned by the lava.)
 * Stella
 * I can’t move. I have to lie down. Right. Now.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * We had no choice, but to lay Stella right down on the trail. She was not very happy.


 * Stella
 * I. Am. Not. Very. HAPPY!!!!

(Volcano eruption intensifies, monkeys screech.)
 * Stella
 * Miles, it’s time!


 * Miles
 * Okay, then we’ll just have to deliver the baby right here, in this lovely spot-! (Miles is interrupted by Eduardo, who sees the lava flow behind them.)


 * Eduardo
 * Dios mío! Look!


 * Miles
 * Aah!

(Stella screams.)
 * Miles
 * (looking at their surroundings) Geez, Eduardo, what now?
 * (gasps as he sees a column of green smoke) The Green Eyes!

(Miles and Eduardo drag Stella to the nearby temple, as lava follows them. They find a bed prepared inside.)
 * Stella
 * Uuuaaagghh! (ground shakes)


 * Miles
 * (grabs a wet cloth and covers Stella’s face)
 * Rememember, breathe, breath. Just like in class!


 * Stella
 * Grrr, shut up, shut up, shut up!!

(Eduardo goes outside the temple, seeing all the destruction around them.)
 * Stella
 * Aaaaaaauuugghh! Ah! Aaaah! Ah… ah… ah! Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! Ah! AAAAAUUUUGGHH!

(The eruption abrutly stops. All animals fall silent as a baby’s cry is heard. Eduardo reenters the temple. Stella kisses the newborn.)
 * Eduardo
 * He has silenced all of nature.


 * Miles
 * Our little baby.


 * Stella
 * A miracle baby… Arnold.


 * Eduardo
 * Arnold. That’s his name?


 * Stella
 * It was my dad’s name.


 * Eduardo
 * Arnold. He’s a good-looking boy.


 * Stella
 * (gives the baby Arnold to Miles) We couldn’t have done it without you, Eduardo. Thank you. (She kisses him on the cheek.)


 * Miles
 * He is a good-looking kid, isn’t he? Hey. Hi. Hey Arnold. Hi baby boy. I’m your dad. And this is your lovely mom. You’re so lucky.


 * Miles (narrating)
 * And so are we. We have a miracle baby, named Arnold.


 * Green Eye
 * Arnold…


 * Arnold
 * Wow, grandpa. What an incredible story, I can’t believe it!


 * Grandpa
 * Neither can I, it’s amazing! I can’t believe they didn’t name you Phil!


 * Arnold
 * No, the volcano! I can’t believe the way I was born!


 * Grandpa
 * What, you think I was making it up all these years?


 * Arnold
 * Well… actually, I did.


 * Grandpa
 * Me, make up a story!?


 * Arnold
 * …It’s been known to happen.


 * Grandpa
 * Alright, sue me, I made up a story. But this one is a hundred-percent true! You were a miracle baby, Arnold! Born during a volcanic eruption!


 * Grandma
 * I always thought he was born in the back seat of a greyhound bus rolling down Highway 41.


 * Grandpa
 * Oh, Pookie, that’s an old hippie song!


 * Grandma
 * Oh, yes, that’s right!


 * Arnold
 * So, why did the volcano stop when I was born?


 * Grandpa
 * Mmm, I don’t know. Maybe your dad can shed some light on it. Let’s see.
 * "I guess it will always be a happy mystery why everything became still and silent right after Arnold was born…"
 * Well, that’s lame! At least he could’ve made something up!


 * Arnold
 * So, what happened after that? Did they go back to their village?


 * Grandpa
 * No, you all lived happily in an old stone temple surrounded by boiling-hot lava. (ba-dum-tss)


 * Grandma
 * Well, where did they go to the bathroom?


 * Grandpa
 * Yet another mystery! (stomach rumbles) Oh! Speaking of bathrooms, that kung-pow shrimp is backing up on me! Be right back!

(Arnold laughs. Fade to black) (Sound of toilet flushing)
 * Grandpa
 * Alright, let’s see. The journal, the journal. Ah, here we are! "We’ve been back in our village for a week, and life is very different now that we have a baby!"


 * Grandma
 * We have a baby!?


 * Grandpa
 * Pookie, I got a roll of tape and I’m not afraid to use it! (Grandma blinks, Grandpa puts away the tape.)


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Our normal routine is a thing of the past. Now we spend all our time concentrating on Arnold. Diapering him, bathing him, feeding him, but most of all, trying to get him to sleep! Oof!

(Baby Arnold crawls away from his parents’ bed.)
 * Miles
 * (wakes up and gasps) Arnold! Where’s Arnold?


 * Stella
 * Arnold!

(Miles sees baby Arnold approach a snake.)
 * Miles
 * (gasp) Arnold!


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * Stella and I made a hard decision, but I think it’s the right one. We’re going to leave San Lorenzo, I think we’ve done some good work here. But I wrote mom and dad and told them that it’s time they met their grandson, and that we’re coming home.


 * Grandpa
 * That’s me, Phil, the dad he wrote to. Should’ve been your name, Arnold!


 * Arnold
 * Grandpa.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * We’ll miss our village in this country, and our many friends, but it’s all different now with Arnold. I love my new son so much, he’s changed our lives forever. I never thought we could be so happy.

(Abner catches up to Miles and Stella’s wagon.)
 * Miles
 * Hahaha!


 * Eduardo
 * I’ll miss you both so very much.


 * Miles
 * And we’ll miss you too, Eduardo.


 * Stella
 * Thanks for everything. Everything.


 * Grandpa (narrating)
 * While flying away from our old life and toward our new one, I was thinking about how nice and simple things will be back in my hometown. Even in the jungle, I would dream about my childhood in the big ol’ brick house, and my peaceful, quiet neighborhood.