Chapter Seventy-Eight

1 NARRATOR: Friends, let's start with some happy news. Jane and Rafael were finally together. And even more exciting? Jane had a writing breakthrough. I want to write about my mom. Our relationship. Oh, and her father Rogelio had a breakthrough, too. His American remake of The Passions of Santos got the green light when superstar River Fields agreed to costar. And, honestly, I didn't think she'd say yes, especially after (SCREAMS) I know! Straight out of a telenovela remade for American audiences, right? Well, imagine this. Petra was under investigation for her sister's death, so she hired a lawyer, Jane Ramos, aka J. R And then this happened. And Petra was super into it. - Only problem? - It was a onetime thing. But it seemed like maybe Petra was having a hard time - letting go. - J. R., wait! You left your pen. Yikes. Oh, and one more thing I can't forget friends, even though I've tried. The biopsy came back positive. I have breast cancer. Which is where we left off. When Xiomara Gloriana Villanueva was four years old Mommy, I don't feel good. Fortunately, Alba always knew just what Xo needed to feel better. What is that stuff, even? EERIE SOUND And, friends, whether it was a cold or a skinned knee, Alba's magical potion always worked. (RETCHING) Until one day, it didn't. XIOMARA: Don't bother. I'm pregnant. And, alas, all the Vivaporu in the world wasn't going to help with this. You have stage III invasive lobular carcinoma. At least it appears to be stage III from what we can see in the imaging. Unfortunately, this strain is rather sneaky and doesn't present well in scans. Is there any involvement in her lymph nodes? As far as we can tell, no. Which is a good thing. - So - So, um, what are her treatment options? We'll go straight to surgery and then we'll use chemo as a systemic treatment later. As for surgery, you have some choices. You can have a lumpectomy, a mastectomy, or you can have a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy Both breasts removed out of an abundance of caution. All have about the same odds of survival. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Survival? Who was talking about survival? - What do you recommend? - It's up to the patient. Some patients like to preserve breast tissue, while others choose a double mastectomy for peace of mind. Though I want to stress, your other breast is perfectly healthy. It's your choice. But I'd like to get the cancer out as soon as possible. Yes. O-Okay. Let me think about it. LittleDuck and vivelalto You okay? Yeah. (RINGTONE PLAYS) (RINGING STOPS) That was your agent. I'll call him back. You're in preproduction. - I'm pushing the pilot. - No, you're not. Life has to go on. I mean it. It has to. Of course. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: We all handle crisis differently. I have nothing quippy to add. It's just a fact. Jane, of course, has her Research. That's what I'm focused on. Research and organization. My mom's so overwhelmed. I just want to make things as clear and easy as possible. Right. Well, let me know if you need anything. Oh, would you mind telling Petra? - She knew that we were waiting for the results. - Sure. And could you also let her know that I'm going to need a few days off? Of course. Hey, where's Mommy? BOTH: In her room. PETRA: Jane, I'm calling because well, the truth is, I like you. More than I want to admit. So, let's go on a date. (CHUCKLES) I know this is terrible timing, given everything that's going on with your mother and, well, everything else. But I have to speak my truth because, well, Oprah says it's the most powerful tool we have. (SCOFFS) Oprah. What am I doing? Jane, I have unexpected and strong romantic feelings for you. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You know what, just text. That's all? Come on, Petra, you can do better than that. Oof. Hey. When'd you get here? Just now. Oh. What's up? I came here to talk to you about Jane, who, as you know, I'm dating, romantically. Yes, I know. What is it? Xo's test came back. She has cancer. Stage III. Oh, my God, no. Poor Xo. And Jane. What? (SCOFFS) You know, I many not show it, but I care about Jane very deeply. What does she need? Just fewer waitressing shifts. And space. Plenty of space. (KNOCKS) Hey. You're early for dinner. I wanted to talk to you first. Mm. I know, after the doctor's office, you probably came straight home and started researching, making color-coded lists and spreadsheets NARRATOR: I mean, for a writer, she really is a whiz at Excel. I mean, very simple spreadsheets. Just don't bombard your mom with that stuff at dinner. You can't overwhelm her right now with facts and binders. Like I was gonna bring a binder to dinner. (CLEARS THROAT) Okay, I won't bring the binder, but she has to make a decision. And she will. But she needs time. Well, that's the one thing what she doesn't have, Dad. If she waits, the cancer can spread to her lymph nodes, and then we'll have much more to worry about. Honestly, I think she should get a double mastectomy. No breast tissue means it's less likely to come back. I actually agree. But we have to let her come to her decision on her own. Let's just try to have a nice, normal dinner. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, here we are A nice, normal dinner. Can I have some chicken? Sure. Thigh, breast Wing. Breast-wing. NARRATOR: Come on, Ro, this is no time to act like a boob. So, Dad, how is work? Good. Everything's going as planned. Of course, River's being a diva. She is so high-maintenance. Literally, the makeup lady has to stand on a stool just to glue on her prosthetic brows. Okay, let's just talk about it. I don't know what to do. Where's the binder? In my room. Honestly, I think double mastectomy. The cancer's aggressive. This way, you won't worry about recurrence. Really? Preventative surgery? Yes. Dad agrees with me, too. You do? But it's your choice. And I won't pressure you either way. We can't tiptoe around this. - We have to talk about these things. - Jane's right. What do you think? So, everyone thinks I should have a double mastectomy? We do. Okay, then I'll schedule the surgery. I guess I'll take two breasts. NARRATOR: Ugh, why couldn't it have been pasta night? NARRATOR: There is something to be said for making a decision. Certainly if you're Jane. I'm Dr. Park. Xiomara. This is my husband, Rogelio, and my daughter, Jane. Nice to meet you. Always good to have a big support system. So, can you walk us through the process? Of course, yes. Um, during the initial surgery, we'll put in expanders, to make room for the implants. You'll need to decide on silicone or saline. And, of course, shape and size. We have round, teardrop, medium, massive. Oh, I just want this to be over. I understand. But reconstruction is an involved process. I'll need to see you regularly for a few months while we stretch the expanders and ensure you're healing properly. And to make sure we're managing your pain. How will they feel? They'll look and feel pretty much the same. But keep in mind, there will be some loss of sensation, especially if we have to reconstruct the nipples. (SIGHS) Would you guys like a-a minute to talk? Yes, please. Of course. (ROGELIO CLEARS THROAT) Sorry, it's just a lot to take in. I know. Listen, after the exam, you'll just tell him you want to match what you have. That's it. Okay, yeah. Yeah. And then off to a spa. I'm serious. You need a spa day to relax before the surgery. Yes, good. No, I like that idea. Will you come? Of course. Great. It'll be my treat. Thanks. And would you mind keeping an eye on Mom while we're gone? She's going to the medical supply store to get things for after my surgery. I think it's gonna be hard on her. Say no more. You two will have a relaxing spa day, and I will go with your mother to the medical supply store. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Talk about drawing the short straw. Great. Okay. I think a spa day will be nice. Why are you doing a spa day? Because, Mateo, Abuela is sick. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, I hate this part so much. Sick how? She has something called cancer. My friend Andrew's grandpa had cancer, and he died. Is Abuela gonna die? No. She has really good doctors, okay? Can we pray? Yes. I would love that. Come on. How's he doing? Worried, but okay. And thanks for telling Petra. She said she was gonna stop by. What? Yeah. Any minute. Oh. Uh See, I actually need to talk to you about that. - Mm-hmm. - PETRA: Hello? - Petra, hi. - Jane. I'm so sorry about your mother. I brought you some Czech comfort food. It's soup to soothe the nerves. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Maybe Rafael should have a bowl. - Mmm. - Mmm. There's an old Czech saying. The heavier the borscht, the lighter the burden. Well, I appreciate that. Jane, I've been thinking about you nonstop since I heard the news. (SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS) - What? - Nothing. Good. Now, do you want to eat that now, or should I put it in the fridge? NARRATOR: What do you say? - Up for some borscht? - Fridge is fine. Hmm. (PHONE CHIMES) NARRATOR: Finally! A reply. That's it? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ugh, this is torture. Petra, you got to work on your text game. Why are you acting so weird? (SIGHS) That's what I wanted to tell you. I think Petra has feelings for you. - What? - (WHISPERING): Romantic ones. I overheard her saying she wanted to ask you out, even though she knows it's complicated. She said she had to, to speak her truth. Really? - Right. Where were we? - Oh Soup. We were at soup. It's the least I can do. Jane. - Mm. - You're important to me. I don't say it enough. If there is anything you need, call me. (CLEARS THROAT) What's going on with you two? Nothing. Do you have romantic feelings for me? What?! Raf said you wanted to ask me out. - Ew! Why would you say that? - Ew? That is I heard you practicing a call to Jane. Not that Jane! (STAMMERS) I mean, it was, like it's a little harsh. I was talking about Jane Ramos, my lawyer. - Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. - Smoking hot. That's exactly why I call her âJ. R. ,â to avoid this confusion. Got it. So, does this mean you're into women now? Do you get the vibe that she likes you, too? It's more than a vibe. We had sex. - (GASPS) What? - Wow. - JANE: How was it? - RAF: Okay, then. - PETRA: Okay, enough! I'm not talking to you two about this. I meant what I said. Call me if you need anything. Non-sexual. - Got it. - Because I would rather go to Chuck E. Cheese during flu season than Yup, loud and clear. - That was unexpected. - Right? But we have to respect her wishes and mind our own business. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: But But I have so many questions! (LAUGHS) - Hey, you got to give her credit. - Mm. She took your mind off your mom for a minute. Mmm. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us here. (RINGTONE PLAYS) Talk to me, Barry. (SIGHS) Can I help you? Uh, um, I need these items, please, for home care. Bilateral mastectomy, huh? Yeah, the patient has a long road ahead. Very painful. All those drains. She's not a patient. She's my daughter. I am aware that she will be in pain. That's obvious. I don't need to hear it from you. I'm sorry. I-I was just trying to help. If you're trying to help, why don't you try and do your job and keep your useless opinions to yourself?! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, here we are, trying to get Xo's mind off of boobs. Well, let's focus on the intake form, shall we? Allergies? No. Retinol products? No. Is there a complimentary hand massage after we fill all this out? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: No kidding. You know what? Let me take care of this for you. Okay. Thanks. I'm sorry, Ma. I mean, this was supposed to get your mind off - Off what? My boobs? - Eh. (LAUGHS) Then get me the heck out of this locker room. It's a nonstop boob parade. (SNORTS) I mean, seriously. It's like Mardi Gras in here. Come on. We're getting massages and then mud baths. ELSA: Did you pack our shampoo? We don't like Daddy's. It's too perfumy. Don't worry. Everything you need is packed, including shampoo. (PHONE CHIMES) You know what? I'm going to take you to Daddy's today. Is today Sunday? Uh, no. It's Thursday, buddy. Can we go to church anyway? Well, why do you want to go to church? To pray, so Abuela doesn't die. (WHISPERING): Raf, I can't talk now, I'm sorry. RAFAEL: I just don't want Mateo to think that Xo's life is in his hands. Tell him that's not how it works. You know religion isn't exactly - my strong suit. - I have to go. You'll figure it out. I have faith. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Hey, girls. Oh. I figured one of the nannies was bringing them. I do things, too. I'm a very hands-on mom. Girls, get in the tent, please. Mateo, you, too. You can take my iPad. Can we speak in private? (SIGHS) I know I said I didn't want to talk to you about J. R., but you and Jane are the only ones who know about us, so I have no choice. Plus, J. R. is kind of a player, and, well, you used to be a player, so maybe you could - offer some insight. - Okay. See, I sent her this text asking her if she wanted to meet, and then she wrote back asking if it was about the case, and now, I don't know what to say back. - Well - Because it's not about the case. It's about my personal feelings. But if I tell her that, it could easily scare her off. - I think - Because the thing about J. R. is, she's complex. And a little hard to pin down. But that's also what's so compelling about her. And the way she takes care of her mother, she's so patient and nurturing. But she's also incredibly smart, and shrewd, as a legal professional, and the sex Oh, my God, that's on another level ugh, you can't imagine But she just makes me so nervous, and I've never been nervous around anyone before. I've always felt so in control. Like with you, it was just âSit, beg, roll over,â so easy. - But I can't do that with J. R. - Petra! You want the player's advice? Don't get into your feelings over text. All right? Just tell her it's not about the case. And then, when she shows up, woo her. âWooâ her? Come on. What would I do? A nice bottle of wine, candlelight, flowers NARRATOR: âWonderfulâ might be an overstatement. He had to call six therapists before he found one janky enough to do an ambush session. The good news is, Alba is definitely in touch with her feelings about Rogelio. How are you feeling? Weird. That was for you to ask yourself. Silently. - Oh. - My name is Satchet. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Of course it is. I'm going to guide you. So breathe in. (INHALES) Closing your eyes. And as you sink into the mud, really feel your stress start to fade away. Deep breath in. (INHALES) And - Ah - Ah Focus on your inner light, and allow it to radiate through your entire body. Beginning in your heart, and allow it to expand your chest with every breath, moving from your arms and your legs, fully engaging your body. (STRAINING) (EXHALES) And out, as you really take this moment to appreciate your body. It's the only one you'll ever get. Honor it. Admire the way your body never gives up on you. Our bodies are our living history. They carry our memories, so thank your body for making you who you are. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hmm. She's not looking too relaxed. Yikes. Neither is she. Mom What's wrong? I think I just want a lumpectomy. - What? - SATCHET: Reminder. This is a âno chitchatâ zone. (QUIETLY): You made a decision. The surgery's scheduled. Let's focus on our breathing. In (INHALES) - I decided I love my boobs, - And out. and I don't want to get rid of them unless I have to. They're just boobs. Why would you take the risk? You heard Satchel. Satchet. And shush. My body makes me who I am. It has never given up on me, and I am not giving up on it. - You're not giving up. - Ladies. You know what? This conversation is over. No breast tissue means less risk. It also means no breasts. (GRUNTS) SATCHET: Careful. You're just tracking mud everywhere. Get over it! It's my mud, and it's my body. Mom! Wait! Mom, slow down. I'm just surprised because you decided already, remember? Like, for peace of mind. - Your peace of mind. - What? Seriously, would it kill you to put on a robe? This isn't a nudist colony. See? That's what you don't understand. They don't want to wear robes. They like being naked and I do, too. I like my body. A-And I like showing it off. It's part of who I am. You and I have different relationships to our bodies, Jane, and I don't know if I want to have elective surgery for your peace of mind. I'm sorry. You're right. I'm just scared, so I know. - Come here. - Oh, I'm the one that's supposed to be supporting you right now, not the other way around. Hey, I'm still your mom no matter what. NARRATOR: And from a mother and daughter to a father and son. Daddy, I just prayed really hard to God so now Abuela won't have cancer. Right? NARRATOR: Are you gonna drop the âyou don't believe in Godâ bomb now or later? You know, that's actually not how it works, buddy. Just because you prayed doesn't mean Abuela won't get sick. So, why do we pray then? I don't understand. Your mom always says that praying gives us strength to get through hard times. And this is one of those hard times. So, if praying makes you feel strong like a lion then you should keep doing it. Will you do it with me? (CHIMES) (DOORBELL RINGS) Hi. I'm River Fields' personal assistant. I'm dropping this off for Xiomara de la Vega. I am Xiomara's mother. Everyone at the office is so sorry to hear about what's happened. And, uh, Ms. Fields would've sent this out last week, but she was still recovering from her eyebrow reconstruction. Wait. Uh, Rogelio told everyone last week? Yeah, when he called to say he was pushing production on the show indefinitely. NARRATOR: And that's when Alba realized that River Fields wasn't the only one who'd suffered an unfair browbeating. (SIGHS) I just need or want my mom to understand that a more aggressive surgery is scary now, but in the long run, it'll be It's not your job to make Xo understand your point of view. It's your job to understand hers. I've been there before Had cancer, so I understand what she's going through. Whatever you need to do to process this, do it, and leave your mom some space for her feelings. NARRATOR: And so, Jane processed, pouring herself into her newest work, the mother-daughter piece, you'll recall. I thought this was just gonna be a quick work meeting. It's a LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Choice. Romantic gesture? (LAUGHS) Look, honestly, all these bells and whistles creep me out a little. Well, good news. Me, too. Then why'd you do it? Well because well, I just wanted to get you into bed again. (CHUCKLES) That's what I thought. Look, we're not right for each other. We're both too manipulative. You're not my type. Now, is there anything about the case that we need to discuss? No. Okay then. I should go 'cause I have a date. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ouch. Great. Have fun. (CHUCKLES) I mean, can you believe she said that? I'm everyone's type. I'm sorry it didn't go well. If I'm not her type, then who is? Not that I care, I'm just curious. You should probably let it go, huh? (HORN HONKING) Move! - Where are you going? - Nowhere. Wait, you're not following her, are you? No, of course not. Definitely not. - I have to go. - Wait, w-where are you going? (GASPS) (CRASHING) (CAR ALARM BLARING) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow, talk about your bells and whistles. What the hell are you doing here? Are you stalking me? What?! No. I was just meeting someone. Same place you were, evidently. Okay, fine. I followed you. Why would you do that? Well, because, I guess, I just wondered if I'm not your type, who is your type? And then next thing I knew, I was driving after you. (LAUGHS) Oh, my God! This is so not me. All of it! I don't obsess about what I'm wearing or over-analyze text messages or stalk anyone! I get stalked. I've been stalked. Multiple times. I mean, I have been kidnapped twice. I'm sorry, are you bragging about being kidnapped? I don't know what I'm doing. I have no idea what the hell is going on with me, except that I like you. Okay? And it's not just about the sex, clearly. And I should go. Enjoy the rest of your date. Sorry about this part of it. (CAR DOOR SLAMS) NARRATOR: Wow. What a wreck. Hey, bud. Want to go upstairs and grab your stuff? Do you have a minute? Sure. Um, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It's not easy. I remember. You know, I actually forgot you've been through cancer, too. Yeah. Oh, it is a club you don't want to join. I don't know about you, but for me, it didn't even feel real at first. It was like I knew everything the doctor was saying and I-I understood the steps to take, but I was still detached somehow. It feels like I'm in a movie or something. That's so stressful, you know? To have to make life-changing decisions when I'm barely even able to process my diagnosis. And luckily, everyone has an opinion on what you should do. Exactly. My advice? You got to clear out the noise. Make room for your own feelings. NARRATOR: And so, Xo took Raf's advice and gave herself time to reflect, while her daughter wrote. TOMORROW, BY HEATHER BOND Close your eyes Go to sleep Dream your dreams of me I'm wishing on Yeah! The stars for you Out our window That I see One more button, Mom. Got it. Here You don't have to have a baby. I won't let it go XIOMARA: I just wanted you to know that you had a choice, because having one it helps, I think. Tell you how I love you so That's what makes a good playboy. You never feel like you're getting played. You'll wake to find me Now, if you don't go have sex with that obscenely hot telenovela star, your mother will never forgive you. I'm still your mom no matter what. I fell for those eyes NARRATOR: And suddenly, Xiomara knew who she needed to talk to right now. Tomorrow You'll wake to find me Here. Can we talk? RAFAEL: We can't bother Mommy, she's writing. MATEO: Daddy, can we pray again? RAFAEL: Of course. NARRATOR: And maybe it was the fact that she had put all her feelings down on paper, or maybe it was seeing Rafael put his own beliefs aside to help someone he loved Or a combination of both But in that moment, Jane made a choice. I know I need to make a choice. And as I've been considering my decision, I started thinking about my life, and I realized some things. And you're the only one I want to talk about it with. Really? You've been leaning on Jane so much. I know. Because that's what I've always done. But that's part of what I realized. Things are different now. I'm different. How do you mean? Well (SIGHS) For most of my life, I've been a single mother, leading with my body. It's how I attracted men. It's where most of my confidence came from. It's how I defined myself. (SNIFFLES) And it's hard to let those pieces of me go. (EXHALES) Because it feels like I'm giving up myself. But then I realized none of what defined me before defines me now. I'm a wife. Your wife. You are my wife. And if I go through with the double mastectomy, my sex appeal may change. And that's why I wanted to come to this decision with you, because even though it's my body, it's our life. I would love to. NARRATOR: Which brings us here, now. Can I talk to you? I just need you to know I'm sorry for pushing. Of course it's your choice. My feelings totally set aside. Whatever you decide, I am in favor of. Thanks, hon. Oh. And I get it. I mean, we've functioned like a unit for so long, I turn to you first. But I have to look to my husband. Ma, are you breaking up with me? No. I'm just saying there are âyou and meâ things, and there are âhim and meâ things. And Rogelio and I have come to a decision. And I've actually decided to have a single mastectomy. Absolutely. Thanks. So, it's time to say good-bye to my boob. But not without a proper send-off, a good-bye party. I love that. A bon boob-age party. - We can make a boob cake. - With my husband. Right. Of course, that is a âyou guysâ thing. Uh, I'll just say good-bye to your boob now. - Bye-bye, boobie. - (LAUGHS) ROGELIO: Good-bye, Leftie. Tata and I will miss you. And though I'm sad to lose you, I'm grateful for these years that you have adorned the chest of the most magnificent woman in the world. And tonight I honor you. (LAUGHS) I never knew you had nicknames for my boobs. Oh, I have many, many nicknames because I have thought about your breasts for many, many hours. (CHUCKLES) And I will miss you, and I love you. But I love Xiomara more. NARRATOR: What a relief to know that even when times are hard, romance is alive and well. Unless you're Petra. Are those yoga pants? Wow, she's really taking the whole J. R. thing hard. Okay, that's a new low. (DOORBELL RINGS) What are you doing here? I was impressed back at the restaurant. Now, that is what I call a romantic gesture. What about your date? She wouldn't have driven into a carwash for me. Let alone a car. So, listen, vulnerable Petra is way hotter than ice queen Petra. I don't need games. Understood. I really, really like you a lot. Yeah. I got that. You taste funny. I might have been eating pickles in bed. Um, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. Wait. NARRATOR: Okay, then, these two make quite a pair, don't they? Speaking of which It was everything I wanted it to be. Now it's just facing the reality of surgery tomorrow. Scared. Really, Ma? I don't see how Vicks VapoRub can help us now. NARRATOR: I know. All that time it was just Vicks VapoRub. Fine. Go ahead. NARRATOR: But that didn't make it less magical. JANE: Hey. Can I get in on some of that Vivaporu action, too? - (LAUGHS) - Is this a âweâ thing? Come. NARRATOR: It really does make things feel better. But, unfortunately, it can't stop evil from coming. You know what, friends? We've been through a lot. And since we've been talking choices, I choose to save this and soothe us all instead with a little Vivaporu. Synced and corrected by vivelalto and LittleDuck