The Scotsman in Space

[The episode begins in space.]

Ren: [narrating] Cadet Stimpy and I are 36 mission to the corner galaxy for a pack of gum. And I grow tired. I suspended that Stimpy has been, blooding against me. It's mine take my....

Ren: [echoing] SPACE MADNESS! [Stimpy are playing Bonk! The Weasle!]

Stimpy: Bonk bonk! Bonk on their head! [laughs]

Ren: And the worst thing of all is.. I'm beginning to see things. Hairy things, things are look back. [Ren looks at the black people at Space] THERE IT IS AGAIN! RIGHT THERE!!! Stimpy, did you see that?

Stimpy: See what, Ren?

Ren: A thing outside. The outside thing. What are we do?

Stimpy: Come come Captain, you're working much to hard. What you need is a nice hot coffee rub down.

Ren: [thinking] The pu pu deliver the fool. I see it now, he's glind to cut to this madness. I gotta play along. [spoken] You're maybe right, Stimpy. [giggles] I guess I was just imagining. HUH?!? [Black people sees Ren, Ren screams] There, you must defeated that guy!

Stimpy: Oh yes, I-I did see it, Ren. Uhhh.. A pretty, green, ELEPHANT! Yeah, singing in Chinese.

Ren: DON'T YOU PATRONIZE ME!! It's YOU and leave with him! Remember me, that one is suppose to hail. I'll... lick the fly! [Ren licks the fly]

Stimpy: NO REN! NOOO!!!

Ren: I'll put it in my mouth. I'll chew him. [Ren chews the fly's helmet.]

Stimpy: NO REN! NOT THAT! DON'T CHEW THE FLY!! YOU CAN'T CHEW THE FLY!!!

Fly: Hey, BUTT OUT BUDDY! COME ON PAL, BE A MAN! Take a bite out of me! [Fly goes in Ren's mouth]

Stimpy: No, Don't you... don't yo- [Ren and Stimpy looks at Haggis on Space. [Ren shockly his mouth open]

Fly: What the... [Ren swallows the fly. Haggis turns around and Ren and Stimpy shows the Haggis.]

Stimpy: An alien lifeform!

Ren: What kind of recommand with you, Cadet Stimpy?

Stimpy: Hmmm... better a protime perective states we must invisible contact with the being. [Stimpy lift his window up and Haggis goes in.]

Ren: In the name of fateratition of alien planets everywhere, Fazz Hoe. [Stimpy nods "Yes".] I am operized to greet you. Shake!

Haggis: What's a dingling, you say?

Stimpy: I don't think he understand this, Captain. He don't speak English non too good. We'll meet our universal translator! [Ren and Stimpy put on the universal translator. Stimpy was tuning on cowboy, alien and speaks Spanish] Uhh, sprrragansy doins?

Haggis: Enough with your japanal. I've been coming for my sheep. [sighs] My long lost sheep. Oh, I want my sheep! [sobs] I WANT MY SHEE-E-E-E-E-EEE-E-E-EP!

Ren: What he say, cheese?

Stimpy: Duhhh, he wants to eat. CHEAP!

Ren: He's probably hungry after all that time not being handle to greed.

Stimpy: There there, Bullana. Don't be a mexican Sinerina? Dinner will be ready, Mr. Scotsman, sir! Our food fabrecator will rip the dish for whole planet in near moments. [Stimpy presses the button like Jupiter, Uranus and Scotsman.] Dehydrated Haggis! It's for the shameless co-hang recipe.

Haggis: HAGGIS? [Haggis cut the heart and had a meat] Good one for smell that. That reminds me of this smell me mello used to make. [Haggis was eating the Haggis, Haggis coughs the meat out of Ren and Stimpy] [demonic voice] How DARE you serve me Haggis without Salty?!? [Ren looks at Stimpy. Haggis coughs while stomp the Haggis.]

Ren: GRABO!!! Quick, Stab tysers on! WEDGIE!! [Stimpy wedgies Haggis' pants, Haggis faints and pants.]

Stimpy: Phew. What do we do now, Captain?

Ren: Well, there's only one thing left we can do to that, Stimpy. We must treat our visitor with a care and respect that new lifeform deserves.

Ren and Stimpy: Dissection! [Ren and Stimpy are having Haggis' Surgery.]

Ren: Hmmm, that's his butt alright. [Ren sharps his knife.] Already for a brain issues in there, Stimpy.

Stimpy: Hmmm, this is more comflex than I thought. Grapefruit spoon.

Ren: Grapefruit spoon. [Stimpy splats the brain at Ren] Hey!

Stimpy: Sorry Captain. Hmmm, [Stimpy eats Haggis' brain, Stimpy burps] Brain threats complete, dear!

Ren: Good! Now the two knowably stration pre-seniors.

Stimpy: But Commander Hoek, he's scottish, he doesn't have any teeth. [Stimpy pulls out of Haggis' teeth] See? They're wood. [Stimpy throws the teeth out of the window]

Ren: Hm. In that case, there's only one test left, The wallik test. Flatsaw.

Stimpy: Flatsaw. Careful now, that's it. Easy.

Ren: Gently... Gently.. You've got it! [Stimpy clunks Haggis.]

Haggis: RAAAAHHH!!! [demonic voice] Don't you dare put your hand on me booty! YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE MESSING WITH!!!! PIPE DOWN, huh? [inhales, normal voice] Me sheepies. Come on, I'll take you back to the middle.

Ren: Cheap? Who are you callin' "CHEAP"?

Haggis: You can't fool me. I know where the sheep will stay on.

Ren: Come on, man! Take a look at me! My skin is pink! I got no hair!

Haggis: [bonks Ren] Enough of your backtalk. You've got graseled to do. [Haggis, Ren and Stimpy goes to the elevator.] Next, stop the middle.

Elevator's voice: Next wire... Sporting goods... Medal level.... Watch your step.

Haggis: Now get down and all for eat grass. [Ren and Stimpy is eating grass. A timecard says "Months Later". Ren and Stimpy are sheeps.] Ah, you must feel good now and let frying could you've got do. [Haggis shaves Ren and Stimpy. Ren and Stimpy was doing a wheels and creating fur. Ren and Stimpy are Scotsmans.] There you go, now you're looking champ. Now off you go, time for breakfast. [Fades to space.] It'll be good to get my hands for some hot eggs again. Hmmm, this will be. [shocked] Now you guttin' done it! You've overcooked me EGGS! [chokes and blubbers like crazy and goes nuts. Haggis speaks Scottish, blubbers, laughs and bumps the floor twice, Haggis goes nuts, Haggis was making robot noises and Haggis goes nuts. Until... Haggis was twitching.]

Stimpy: Golly.

Ren: I guess your eggs were too much for him. Huh?

Stimpy: What is it, cap'n?

Ren: It's his wallet. Wow, it's really dusty. It looks like it hasn't been open for years. I'll just clean it up a bit. [Ren rubs his wallet] That's better. [Wallet appears a genie]

Genie: Greetings, friends! I am a Daddy's space cut of Genie. This is your lucky day. But as for now, I'm gonna give you 3 magical wishes and makes it big laugh for you, and special today only by 3 get one free!

Ren: I want a beautiful women to make his all the money in the world!

Genie: Good choice! [When the genie snaps his fingers, Ren is surrounded with gold coins and 3 alien women, happy] [gasps] I, I can't believe it! I'm happy for the first time ever! What more can it possibly need?

Stimpy: Please, Ren! C-Can I have a wish?

Ren: No, don't be steupid!

Stimpy: [sobs] Ren, please let me have a wish!?

Ren: Well gosh, I... I got the money in the world. And beautiful women. I suppose. Okay, you can have your steupid wishes.

Stimpy: Joy! Oh great sir, First, I wish that no one would ever have need of material possessions of again.

Genie: Okey dokey, Kid big rubble to meal. [Ren's money and the spaceship disappear. Ren and Stimpy are without their helmets from space. Stimpy lack of oxygen.]

Stimpy: And, for equality for everyone regardless of race or creed. [The 3 alien women turn into men of color (believed to be a vaquero, sheihk and south Asian guru] And to be, where it's always sunny at the sun and no one ever grows old. [They all begin to float toward the sun. the genie's way of granting Stimpy's wish. Ren was about to slap Stimpy. Ren's hand was burnt and they all burnt] And lo, on the third day he did wear of a ghost, and it was good. Where not be hath of unleaven bread, for it is diseased. At the end of the episode. The text says "The End" on the planet.]

Dentures: What are ya? [Fades to black]