The Burden

Principal Brown's Office

 * [Reading] Apply wax strip to hairy area, leave for a few seconds and peel back quickly for a smooth and painless experience. [He puts wax all over his body and grabs a picture of Miss Simian] This is all for you my darling, and also because... [He rips some of the hair off his body, revealing muscles and bare skin] Hello! [His hair regrows fast] Oh well, I guess I just have to wait for the seventies to come back into fashion. Oh!
 * How long have you been standing there?
 * Long enough for curiosity to turn into regret.
 * Right! Any plans for the weekend?
 * Well, I was going on a date with Penny but maybe I'll just stay home and bleach my eyeballs.
 * Well, clear your diaries, gentlemen. It's your turn to look after the school hamster, Chris Morris.
 * Oh, come on! This hamster's so old it should be classified as a mineral. I don't wanna be the kid responsible for him when he turns into dust!
 * Well, I'm afraid it wasn't a request. It's an order. [Takes out Chris Morris from his cage] He's been in this cage since he was born, six long years ago. So please take extremely good- [Drops Chris Morris, then picks up a lump of his waxed fur, mistaking it for Chris Morris] -extremely good care of him.
 * Principal Brown, there is no way-
 * Ahem! Just a moment.
 * Aaaaaand-It's four o'clock. I'm not a principal anymore, I don't care.
 * Romance. NOW!
 * I think we've heard enough.
 * You kept me imprisoned for an eternity. But today, at the sunset of my life, I shall walk proud and free, to a new life of happiness and abundance, and I shall see the daylight once more.
 * Aaaaaand-It's four o'clock. I'm not a principal anymore, I don't care.
 * Romance. NOW!
 * I think we've heard enough.
 * You kept me imprisoned for an eternity. But today, at the sunset of my life, I shall walk proud and free, to a new life of happiness and abundance, and I shall see the daylight once more.
 * I think we've heard enough.
 * You kept me imprisoned for an eternity. But today, at the sunset of my life, I shall walk proud and free, to a new life of happiness and abundance, and I shall see the daylight once more.
 * You kept me imprisoned for an eternity. But today, at the sunset of my life, I shall walk proud and free, to a new life of happiness and abundance, and I shall see the daylight once more.

The Next Day

 * My date with Penny!
 * What are you doing?
 * I'm doing my hair for the date.
 * Oh cool! What should I wear?
 * What do you mean?
 * For the date?
 * Dude, you're not coming to my date. You'll be a third wheel.
 * Yeah, on your tricycle.
 * No way, man.
 * But I've got nothing to do!
 * Well, you can look after Chris Morris.
 * What, no! I've got stuff to do.
 * You just said you had nothing to do! Fine, I'll look after him then. But it's your fault if this drain-hair burrito uses his last breath to ruin my date.
 * Well, you can look after Chris Morris.
 * What, no! I've got stuff to do.
 * You just said you had nothing to do! Fine, I'll look after him then. But it's your fault if this drain-hair burrito uses his last breath to ruin my date.

Gumball's Date with Penny

 * Oh, he's so cute! I think it's so cool that you're looking after him.
 * You do? Well, you see the thing you gotta learn about me, Penny, is that I'm a stand-up guy.
 * [Smiles]
 * The kind of guy who takes care of school pets without being asked.
 * [Giggles]
 * The kind of guy who welcomes responsibility.
 * [Giggles]
 * The kind of guy you'd wanna marry.
 * [Stops giggling and has a questionable expression on her face]
 * What? You don't believe me? Then check out these dad skills. [Strokes "Chris Morris" gently] There, there. I've got you little fella.
 * I will always be there for you.
 * Oh! So paternal.
 * Here my son, I have provided. [Eats a pizza slice] Eat. [Proceeds to regurgitate it for Chris Morris]
 * Dude! Okay, alright I believe you!
 * Maybe you are marriage material.
 * Well, please send your resumé to my secretary.
 * Aw!
 * Maybe you are marriage material.
 * Well, please send your resumé to my secretary.
 * Aw!

Try Chris Morris!

 * [Makes a bad impression of Gumball] Ewuwewu-Penny! [Continues imitating Gumball and saying gibberish] Date! [Continues saying gibberish] Oh no, you can't come [Continues saying gibberish]
 * Oh my gosh dude! You have to hang out with Chris Morris, he's the best! I just had the most awesome date with Penny, and he was the perfect wingman! I'm gonna ask Principal Brown if we can take care him next weekend, and the weekend after, and the weekend after, and the weekend after-
 * Dude! I'm trying to give you the silent treatment, but it doesn't work if you don't notice!
 * Just try it. [Walks away] Try Chris Morris.
 * Dude! I'm trying to give you the silent treatment, but it doesn't work if you don't notice!
 * Just try it. [Walks away] Try Chris Morris.
 * Just try it. [Walks away] Try Chris Morris.

Darwin's Conversation with "Chris Morris"

 * Things have changed. It used to just be me and him, versus the world. But now all he cares about is [Makes an ugly face] Penny. I mean, of course I want him to be happy. I just wished I could be part of it. Am I being too possessive? I am being too possessive. Do you mind if I lie down? [Lies down on bench] I think this all started a long time ago… back when I was still just a kid…
 * I don't know why I'm so worried! IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY HAHAHA!
 * I just don't want to be left alone, you see? [Rocking on a kiddy ride] It's the silence... the terrible silence...
 * You don't get to judge me, Chris Morris! You're not one of my dads!
 * Hi, Darwin.
 * [Cheerily] Oh, hi! [Continues crying]
 * You know what, Chris Morris? I think I just realized that all this is coming from my fear of abandonment. I'm projecting my anxieties onto my brother and forgetting to actually live my own life. [Sighs contently] Dude [Hugs "Chris Morris" cage] Thank you.
 * You don't get to judge me, Chris Morris! You're not one of my dads!
 * Hi, Darwin.
 * [Cheerily] Oh, hi! [Continues crying]
 * You know what, Chris Morris? I think I just realized that all this is coming from my fear of abandonment. I'm projecting my anxieties onto my brother and forgetting to actually live my own life. [Sighs contently] Dude [Hugs "Chris Morris" cage] Thank you.
 * You know what, Chris Morris? I think I just realized that all this is coming from my fear of abandonment. I'm projecting my anxieties onto my brother and forgetting to actually live my own life. [Sighs contently] Dude [Hugs "Chris Morris" cage] Thank you.
 * You know what, Chris Morris? I think I just realized that all this is coming from my fear of abandonment. I'm projecting my anxieties onto my brother and forgetting to actually live my own life. [Sighs contently] Dude [Hugs "Chris Morris" cage] Thank you.

Chris Morris is the Best!

 * Chris Morris is the best!
 * The best, right?
 * He's such a good listener. He really helped me through some stuff.
 * Is there nothing he can't do?
 * I love it when he does that!
 * I can't believe how much happiness he's brought us.
 * And to think that all his life he's been locked up like this, starved of affection-
 * Just because people couldn't see beyond the layers of oozing fur-
 * The weird stickiness-
 * That putrid smell-
 * The fact that he's probably contagious.
 * We're sorry Chris Morris. We're gonna give you all the love you deserve!
 * We'd better take him out of the cage first.
 * We're sorry Chris Morris. We're gonna give you all the love you deserve!
 * We'd better take him out of the cage first.
 * We'd better take him out of the cage first.

The Truth

 * He's not moving!
 * Do something!
 * I'm gonna put some water on his face.
 * AH! Rat! [Smashes "Chris Morris" several times with the frying pan]
 * Dad, don't!
 * I've got it. I've got it!
 * Ahhhhh!
 * You have to wait for the end of the cycle!
 * Ahhhhh! We need to give him mouth-to-mouth
 * Use this macaroni!
 * [Whispering] You have some Chris Morris on your face.
 * I'm not really a vet, but I don't think that was Chris Morris.
 * Do you realize what that means?
 * [Sighs] The real Chris Morris has been at school all weekend- [Gasps] with no food or water!
 * Yes, but it also means that what we've been kissing all day was in fact-
 * Don't…
 * Remember in Brown's office, and he was waxing-
 * No…No…NO…NOOOO!
 * Do you realize what that means?
 * [Sighs] The real Chris Morris has been at school all weekend- [Gasps] with no food or water!
 * Yes, but it also means that what we've been kissing all day was in fact-
 * Don't…
 * Remember in Brown's office, and he was waxing-
 * No…No…NO…NOOOO!

The Search for Chris Morris

 * Should we call Rocky, and get him to let us in so we can find Chris Morris?
 * Are you crazy, man? We can't let people know we left an infirm rodent alone all weekend with no food or water. People hate animal cruelty. We'll get our butts kicked.
 * Wouldn't that be animal cruelty?
 * Yeah, it's a vicious circle. We gotta get Chris Morris back in his cage before anyone finds out.
 * [Scene changes to Chris Morris who over heard Gumball and Darwin's talk and started squeaking angrily; subtitles show: "Forget you." Then he walks away.]
 * : So how do we get in?
 * : Leave that to me.
 * [Gumball uses his claw to cut a circle on the school window then picks up Darwin to pick the glass. This causes the wall to fall.They put the glass back where it was.]
 * [Gumball uses his claw to cut a circle on the school window then picks up Darwin to pick the glass. This causes the wall to fall.They put the glass back where it was.]

Chasing Chris Morris

 * [Gumball and Darwin find Chris Morris in the hallway. Chris Morris stares at them]
 * : There he is. I got this [Does a silly face] Chris Morriiis! Come here little buddy.
 * : Uh, Don't worry, Chris Morris, we won't hurt you. Just drop your weapon.
 * [Chris Morris squeaks, which is translated into "Poor choice of words."]
 * : Chris Morris, No!
 * : Why, you little...
 * : Get him!
 * : Wait. What?
 * : We're gonna have to adopt to his speed.
 * : How slow would that be?
 * : Like '90s-Internet slow?
 * [Gumball and Darwin try to catch Chris Morris]
 * : Must be some kind of alarm malfunction, but we'd better take a look around.
 * : Phew!
 * : Huh? Ha!
 * [Miss Simian turns around]
 * : Hmm...
 * : He's heading for the science lab.
 * and : UGH!
 * : Let's head him off at the lab. You can run, but you can't hide.
 * [Gumball sniffs around]
 * : I can smell you.
 * : Yeah, me too. It's kind of gassy.
 * : RUN! Jump!
 * [Gumball and Darwin fall face first on the floor]
 * : Oh, sorry. Wrong timing.
 * [Gumball and Darwin get bathed in flames. Gumball stands up, singed but furious]
 * : [Echoing] CHRIS MORRIS!
 * : Uh, I think we're wasting our time here.
 * [Doughnut Sheriff yawns and Gumball flies through his mouth]
 * : Huh?
 * : Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow! Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow! Aah! Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow!  Gotcha.
 * [Chris Morris bites Gumball's hand and Gumball screams]
 * ,, and : What was that?
 * : Where is that little --
 * [Darwin interrupts Gumball]
 * : Ssh!
 * : [Hoarsely] We're gonna get busted, and they'll throw us in jail for animal cruelty.
 * : Ah! Ehh, must be a false alarm.
 * : Then let's get back to our weekend. Romance now!
 * : Mmm-
 * : Not you!
 * : Thanks, man. But why did you help us?
 * [Chris Morris starts squeaking, which is translated into "I know how it feels to be caged. I would never wish that upon another soul."]
 * : Yeah, I have no idea what he just said.
 * : Maybe he knows how it feels to be caged and he wouldn't wish that on another soul.
 * : This is for you, Chris Morris.
 * [Gumball takes Principal Brown's hair from trash can]
 * : Nobody will ever know the difference.
 * : Not you!
 * : Thanks, man. But why did you help us?
 * [Chris Morris starts squeaking, which is translated into "I know how it feels to be caged. I would never wish that upon another soul."]
 * : Yeah, I have no idea what he just said.
 * : Maybe he knows how it feels to be caged and he wouldn't wish that on another soul.
 * : This is for you, Chris Morris.
 * [Gumball takes Principal Brown's hair from trash can]
 * : Nobody will ever know the difference.
 * [Gumball takes Principal Brown's hair from trash can]
 * : Nobody will ever know the difference.

Releasing Chris Morris

 * [Chris Morris starts squeaking which is translated into "My time has come. Finally I am one with the sun. Today my journey is complete."]
 * : [In tears] Goodbye, Chris Morris.
 * [Chris Morris starts squeaking which is translated into "Huh? Weird. Oh well, maybe another day then."]
 * : Okay, this is taking forever.
 * : Let's go home.
 * [Gumball and Darwin go home. The episode ends.]
 * [Gumball and Darwin go home. The episode ends.]