Star Wars - Best Picture Summary - Oscars 2018

We see Luke sensing something when...

Rey: Master Skywalker, you seem troubled. Has something happened?

Luke: Unfortunately, something didn't happen. I have bad news, Rey. I just received word, that we're not nominated for Best Picture.

Rey: Oh, did you think we would be nominated for Best Picture?

Luke: We were critically acclaimed Rey! (pulls out their movie on Rotten Tomatoes) Critically acclaimed!

Rey: (focuses on the audience score) Yes, but the...

Luke: The critics ALWAYS like what everyone likes!

Rey: (holding a poster for The Greatest Showman) I don't think that's true.

Luke: How are we not Best Picture?! It makes no sense!

Rey: Well, what about Best Actor?

Luke: NO! And I gave the best performance I've ever given! I was acting so hard, I became one with The Force, Rey!

Rey: Oh, is that what happened there? Best Director?

Luke: Nope.

Rey: Best Actress?

Luke: Sorry.

Rey: Aw. What about music?

Luke: Well duh, obviously!

Kylo Ren comes in.

Kylo Ren: Hello, everyone.

Rey: Ben, did you hear about the nominations?

Kylo Ren: Yes, and I'm furious. I blew everyone's mind taking out the Supreme Leader a whole movie ahead of schedule! But Daniel Day-Lewis makes a bunch of dresses, and everyone wants to suddenly throw trophies at his feet, AGAIN!

Rey: Settle down, Ben. The nominees can't be that bad. I heard the Shape of Water was lovely.

Luke: The one where a human falls in love with a sea creature? We have that! (camera changes to Luke with a Thala-siren) I love my milk siren!

Rey: Perhaps, a little too much. What about The Post or Three Billboards? Brave women rising up against authority, risking it all.

Luke: Hello, we have ALL of those things!

Rey: Okay, fine. But you have to admit Commissioner Gordon was fantastic in Darkest Hour.

Kylo Ren: "Oh look at me. I put on a fat suit. I'm so impressive, can I please have an award?".

Rey: You're being so childish. Kind of like Lady Bird, you know, immature, ungrateful, doesn't want to be called by her given name. At least she changed.

Kylo Ren: Kylo IS my name!

Rey: Speaking of names, Call Me By Your Name? Awakening desires.

Snoke comes in.

Snoke: I tried awakening desires between you two. (snickers)

Kylo Ren: Get out of here, Snoke Torso!

Rey: Yeah, we could be related!

Snoke: You're not going to be related! (to audience) #ReyLo Forever!

Rey: Anyways, you had to have liked Dunkirk at least?

Luke: Is that the one with the soldiers on the beach while Hans Zimmer falls asleep on an organ?

Rey: Hans Zimmer is nominated for that score.

Luke: Oh my gosh! Did everyone start taking death sticks?!

Kylo Ren: We had soldiers, (Luke joins in) and John freaking Williams!

Rey: It was visually stunning!

Luke: What do you think salt that turns RED during battle is?

Kylo Ren: Freaking awesome!

Luke: That's right it is!

Kylo Ren: All these nominees are a joke!

Luke: Yeah they are! You know, I did like Get Out though.

Kylo Ren: Oh yeah, actually me too.

Rey: Really?

Kylo Ren: Well, it was actually the only one I saw.

Luke: Yeah, me too. And it was seriously scary!

Finn comes in.

Finn: Yeah, you're telling me.

Luke: Anyways, It's not fair!

Kylo Ren: We made more money than all these guys in one weekend.

Luke: Why can't we ever be acknowledged?

C-3PO comes in.

3PO: Master Luke, did you hear the wonderful news? The Last Jedi has been nominated for FOUR awards! Music, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, and Visual Effects!

Everyone begins to leave.

Kylo Ren: Well, obviously.

Luke: Of course we are! That happens everytime!

Kylo Ren: We have lightsabers!

3PO: Oh.

The End.

We see Luke walking past his burnt tree and 3PO.

Luke: I'm sorry, it's just not the same.