Paternal Egg-Stinct

Scene I: The Zoovenir Shop
In the dark, Skipper pops from a monkey T-shirt and looks around.

Skipper: All right, boys. The coast is clear. Let's move.

The others popped out of shelves. Kowalski fires a grappling hook and is pulled off. Rico jumps out and Private is pushed forward by Rico after jumping. Skipper comes out of the shirt. Kowalski comes down on a rope. Suddenly, the lights came on. The penguins got to their combat positions. It was Marlene, on top of a barrel.

Marlene: Hey, guys! (She jumps down and the penguins calmed down.) Skipper: (gets to her.) Jumbo shrimp! Doesn't a stealthy rendezvous mean anything to anyone anymore? Marlene: A stealth... No. Why? Should it?

Knowing something, Skipper quickly puts his flipper over Marlene's mouth.

Skipper: Shhh!

Marlene just stood there, doing nothing, with Skipper's flipper over her mouth. Skipper looks around the shop. There was no one there. Skipper removes his flipper from Marlene's mouth.

Skipper: All clear. But stay on your toes.

Rico nods and "stood on his toes. Marlene looks at them strangely.

Marlene: Riiiiight. Well, anywho guess what I've found in my habitat today.

Marlene pulls an egg from behind. Rico gets a closer look and Private stares happily.

Private: It's... It's... Kowalski: An egg? Marlene: Yes! And you are birds, soooo... Skipper: (looks at the others.) Soooo, what? Marlene: Back at the aquarium, the daddy penguins handle egg-duty. Skipper: Marlene, we're an elite force, not nurse maids. Kowalski: (examines the egg.) Actually, Skipper, incubation is a guy thing for penguins. It's natural instincts. (Exciting, Private, caring for the egg, holds it.) Skipper: You too, Kowalski? We can't give in to every gushy urge nature's burden upon our species.

However, the men are playing with the egg. Private rocks the egg back and forth. Kowalski plays peek-a-boo with the egg, coochie-coochie-cooing at him. Rico waves at the egg.

Skipper: Oh, come on, you marshmallows. Think manly thoughts, like, uh... MONSTER TRUCKS! WHO-AH!

The others didn't pay attention to him. They were still cuddling with the egg. Skipper changes his affections from serious to caring.

Skipper: Ahh. Isn't that just the... (He snaps out of it.) NO CAN DO. We can't possibly take this mommy mission. King Julien: (He and the lemurs popped out of a barrel of toy monkeys.) Of course you can't, silly penguin. Because the egg is MINE! Skipper: (As the lemurs jumped down.) Where did you... I thought we had this area secured! Marlene: You laid an egg? Kowalski: (examining Julien.) That's highly ecological for a mammal, unless... (examines Julien's tail.) Are you part platypus? King Julien: What did-- (pushes Kowalski away.) You are a party puss, but I, I am KING of things! (Maurices nods.) Longly, I have waited for the Sky Spirits to give me a proper heir to my throne. Clearly, that is why they sent me this egg. Marlene: Sent you? King Julien: Yes! Indirectly. I shall call him Julien Jr. J.J.! I will raise him to be just like me. Handsome, brilliant, and most of humble.

Skipper slaps his head in annoyance.

Skipper: (to Marlene, quickly.) We'll take him. Private: Yay! Resume coochie-cooing, men!

Private has the egg under his feet. The boys continued coochie-cooing the egg, leaving Juilen jealous.

King Julien: Well, we'll see who's coochie-cooing when I- (The penguins turned and stared at him.) Hey. I was muttering to me, not you silly penguins. Now carry on.