The Blame

Billy VS Video games



 * Ah, even in this brutal digital world, the children of today still find solace in books. Truly the pen is mightier than the sword.




 * Dude, did you hear that? Equip the pen!


 * OKAY!


 * Nope, turns out the bazooka is mightier than the pen. And the sword. Hey, Tobias! Stop camping!




 * USE ALT FIRE!


 * RESPAWN!


 * What is this dazzling juxtaposition of sound and image?


 * It's a video game.


 * So these are the video games of which mother warned me! How do they function?


 * See this dude with the muscles of a bodybuilder and the haircut of a Korean pop star? That's me. And I have to blast these monsters over here to save... stuff? Here, try it!


 * But is it not dangerous? Mother always says that video games can make one lose contact with reality. That they encourage loose behavior and violent tendencies. Much like rock and roll music, long hair and vaccinations.


 * Um, no? They're just fun.


 * Well, I suppose there's no harm in trying it once. In the name of science of course!   WOAH! THIS IS AMAZING!




 * What was that all about?


 * He didn't even make it past the loading screen!

The meeting



 * ...and this is why, as president of the parents' association, I call for a total ban on all video games in Elmore.


 * She's right! Look at what happened to Ocho since he's started gaming!


 * He doesn't look so bad.


 * But here's what he used to look like.


 * Gaming's giving my kids square eyes!


 * Gaming's given my daughter a speech impediment!


 * So we're all in agreement.


 * and : Not everyone!


 * We are Mr. Dad and Ms. Mom!


 * He means Richard and Nicole Watterson. And we've found video games to be nothing but a positive influence on our children.


 * This is ridiculous!


 * Shh! I think I'm about to say something.


 * Video games can be educational, teach puzzle solving skills, and help the growth of young imaginations.


 * You two, stop this!


 * Oh my goodness! My son Gumball has dressed up as me and attended the PTA meeting in an attempt to stop this ban! You're in big trouble mister!


 * Okay, "Nicole." I think you should ground your son for a month.


 * Fine! Gumball, you're grounded for a month.


 * Uh, honey?


 * You're right, dear. Two months! But you also get a surprise pool party in your honor with pizza and-


 * Don't push it, little man.


 * Your plea has really made me think about things. Mostly that I should have locked that door. However I admire your determination. I give you three chance to prove your argument that video games can be a force for good. Meeting adjourned! It's a gavel, they wouldn't let me use it.





First chance



 * You see, people often say that video games are antisocial and make you unhealthy. Well, just take a look at this family sharing some sporty fun together!


 * What about that family?




 * They're playing together, which is all that matters. Now. Safety first, dear little brother!


 * Of course, dear big brother! The wrist strap. What was I thinking?  Sorry, no hand at the end of the wrist.


 * Come on Anais, we can't lose to these slobs!


 * This one doesn't look very healthy at all.


 * Hey, this is the body of a world class gamer. You're lucky we're not online right now or I'd be saying things I'd never say to your face!


 * Anais, take the shot!




 * Oh, come on!


 * Now now, mother, it's only a game!




 * Nicole's team wins!


 * I don't wanna play anymore!


 * Um, how about we switch to a nice fishing game?




 * ...well, they're fighting, so technically it's brought them closer together.



Second chance



 * Okay. Now I'll prove video games don't make kids lose contact with reality. Hey Joe, what are you playing?


 * Brick Land! It's a game where you can build anything out of little bricks.


 * Very good, Joe. A game encouraging creativity.


 * Right now, I'm building a fireplace in my wooden house. Oh no. Not the goats... THE GOATS ARE ON FIRE!


 * That child has no idea what's real and what's not.


 * Yes, but you don't know it was video games that made him that way.


 * What else could have made him like that?




 * Son, son, son. Stop with this tomfoolery. The fire isn't real, I'll show you what's real. Take this book, it is the key to your future.


 * How?


 * Look, "Books pave the road to your future." Come on son, let's time travel!




 * Yes, I agree. Children should read books and not play silly games.

Last chance



 * A lot of people think that all gamers are unattractive male losers. But look at this majestic female specimen!


 * You must be joking! Look at her face, the lack of natural sunlight has given her skin like a parrot's tongue. And the breath is like a subway in Paris. And the teeth,  they're so yellow I thought they were made out of gold. And look at her tiny arms,  completely shriveled by the lack of exercise. And her nails?  I've heard of gaming addiction before but I never thought a girl would let herself go to the point of needing a chainsaw to cut her toenails.


 * Yeah, but video games didn't turn her into a giant lizard. It comes from her dad!


 * Oh I see. My dear, do you play video games with your father?


 * Sometimes.


 * Well that explains it, video games made them both monsters. Case closed.




 * Gumball, respawn! Gumball! GUMBALL!




 * Hey, that wasn't a video game.



Darwin's idea



 * But how are we supposed to entertain ourselves?!


 * You are surrounded by all the greatest classics of literature, that's all you need.


 * This is more boring that having to listen to your friend's band rehearsal.


 * Or having to look at people's baby pictures.


 * Or like, edutainment.


 * Eww!


 * Okay, maybe not edutainment.


 * Wait a minute, I got it! The answer was right under our noses. We re...discover making gross noises with our armpits!




 * Did you hear that?


 * It's the sound of someone feeling an emotion other than boredom!




 * ...what?


 * You okay?


 * Oh! It's this darned book. It's making my hair stand on end!


 * What hair?


 * Hm?


 * Okay. What is it?


 * "Grimm's Fairy Tales." There's people getting eaten by wolves, poison, and some old witch getting cooked in an oven...


 * Hmm...


 * I can see you're getting an idea.


 * No no, just some leftover food on my chin.


 * Oh. Well I have an idea!


 * Hey that's a great idea! I'm gonna pass it off as my own. Hey, I have an idea! If our parents think video games are a bad influence, let's see what they think about books! Everyone, start reading!






 * Come on, let's teach our parents a lesson!




 * Excuse me!



Books are violent



 * And now that we've banned video games, let's move on to the next blight on our culture: the "pop" music.




 * Everybody read a book, wreak havoc across the nation. Come on just have a look, there's such violent inspiration.


 * "Lord of the Flies" is a book each parent cherishes! The feral kids survive, but the one with glasses perishes!




 * If you want more blood and guts give Shakespeare's plays a try. In "Titus Andronicus," a mother gets her son served up in a pie.




 * You did this to me mother!




 * Legends, myths and fairy tales, will make their readers shriek and wail.






 * "Red Riding Hood" is pretty bizarre, where a wolf dresses up as a girl's grandma.


 * and :


 * I've read Greek myths just like you sir, when they get beheaded like Medusa.




 * And I read "The Tortoise and the Hare," a tale of torture and despair! FIGHT!


 * You haven't read that one have you?


 * Er, no.


 * If you read Dicken's "Oliver Twist," you'd shut the library door and lock it! It's all about these homeless kids who learn how to pickpocket!


 * Okay I get it, that's enough! Fiction should be banned!


 * But history books are just as bad! Perhaps a rap will help you understand! Juke, hit it.








 * It's just words, words, words.


 * Cover to cover.


 * Bound with a spine, word to your mother.


 * But books are the same, every story to video games.


 * They're just as gory.


 * Romeo, oh Romeo.




 * Romeo is your homie-o.






 * To be or not to be,


 * That's the question for a G.


 * "Huck Finn's Adventures" by Mark Twain.


 * All these books are driving me insane.


 * So who should really get the blame,


 * Are books as bad as video games?




 * Off with their heads!


 * Thar she blows!




 * Alright, alright! STOP! What exactly are you trying to say here?


 * Mother, allow me to elucidate. We phrased myriad issues here today - censorship, parenting, making gross noises with one's armpit - but the argument is thus: video games are shouldering the burden of a deeper problem. It's not the material that's to blame, but how parents teach their children to respond to it.


 * My gosh Billy, you're right! Books can be as dangerous as video games. There's only one reasonable thing to do.


 * Become better parents and look after our children in a sensible way?


 * No.