The Fortification Implementation


 * Raj: So how’s it going with the title to the house?
 * Howard: Great. It’s all done. The lawyer tracked down my father and got him to sign it over. I didn’t have to meet him, I didn’t have to talk to him, I don’t even know where he is.
 * Raj: Wow. So you’re not even curious at all?
 * Howard: Nope.
 * Raj: What if he’s in prison? What if he’s a spy? What if he’s in a Beatle’s cover band? I’m just saying, if he’s got your nose and haircut, He’d make a killer Ringo.


 * Penny: What? A few thousand people listening to you talk about Nerd stuff?


 * Amy: According to the codicil of the Relationship Agreement which you insisted upon, we’re not allowed to pout or be moody on date night.
 * Sheldon: You know I just put that in because of uterus stuff.


 * Bernadette: When he’s at Comic-Con, I’m bringing in a wrecking ball.


 * Howard: Wait, who’s your father?
 * Josh: Sam Wolowitz.
 * Howard: (chuckles) S-Sam Wolowitz is my father.
 * Josh: I know.
 * Howard: Well, wait, so if we have the same father... I mean... are you saying you’re my half-brother?
 * Josh: I think so.
 * Howard: Bernadette, weird things are happening out here!


 * Wil: Let’s take a call. Hello caller, you are on with Penny and Wil from Serial Ape-ist 2.
 * Caller: I don’t have a question. I just to say I’m a big fan of the movie. I’ve seen it like ten times.
 * Penny: Okay, well, I’ll apologize for the first time, but the other nine are on you.


 * Kevin Smith: So Penny. I saw your movie.
 * Penny: Oh, wow. I wish it was better.
 * Wil: Oh, don’t worry about it. Have you seen some of Kevin’s films?
 * Kevin Smith: You’re crusin’ for a beatin’, Wheaton. Anyway, man I dug ape movies, Penny. And I thought, like, you were really great in in.
 * Penny: Aw.
 * Wil: You know I’m in the movie, too.
 * Kevin Smith: Yeah, whatever. Penny! Penny, how come you’re not in more stuff, man? I’d cast you in a minute.
 * Penny: Seriously?
 * Kevin Smith: Oh, yeah, man! I’m actually in pre-production on a movie right now. Way different than anything I’ve done before. It’s called Clerks 3. You should come over and read for a part.
 * Penny: Oh, my. I would love that.
 * Leonard: You have a new job.
 * Penny: Well, maybe I can do both.
 * Leonard: I don’t think you can do both.
 * Penny: I don’t think I asked you.


 * Leonard: I’m just trying to protect you. How many times have I seen you get your heart broken trying to make it as an actress?
 * Penny: Okay, instead of protecting me why don’t you try getting excited when something good happens?
 * Leonard: I’m always excited for you. I’m excited that you found this new job where you’re making decent money.
 * Penny: Decent? I make twice what you make.
 * Leonard: Wait, twice?
 * Penny: Yeah.
 * Leonard: Like “times two” twice?


 * Bernadette: So Josh, what do you do?
 * Josh: I'm studying oceanography down in San Diego.
 * Bernadette: Oh, how nice. (moment of silence) I loved Finding Nemo.
 * Raj: (sternly) Enough chit-chit. How do we know you are what you say you are?
 * Josh: Why would I lie?
 * Raj: Okay, you got me there.


 * Josh: I’ve always dreamed about having a brother to play catch with.
 * Bernadette: Keep dreaming.


 * Penny: Leonard. Why are you making such a big deal about this? So our roles have changed a bit over the last couple of years. That’s the way life is. And I’m sure in time they’ll change again.
 * Leonard: Great, you’re not only more successful than me, now you’re more mature.
 * Penny: Okay, look, would it make you feel better if I did something dumb like sneak out of work one day to go audition for a Kevin James movie?
 * Leonard: That would be great. Thank you!
 * Wil: I’m just going to jump in real quick Leonard, a moment ago you were dead set against Penny resuming her acting career, but now you're all for it. Is it fair to say she played you like a violin?
 * Leonard: Yes, it is, Wil.


 * Amy: Well, as long as we’re suspending the parameters, I could stay really late and we could have our first sleepover.
 * Sheldon: That’s a big step.
 * Amy: It’s a big fort.
 * Sheldon: Very well. I will agree to a family-friendly, G–rated, boy-girl sleepover.
 * Amy: PG. Some scenes may be too intense for younger viewers.
 * Sheldon: G rated, with a warning for families with babies and toddlers.
 * Amy: You got yourself a sleepover.
 * Sheldon: Do you need to borrow a toothbrush or pajamas?
 * Amy: Would it alarm you to know that I hid those things here two years ago just in case this ever came up?
 * Sheldon: It would, but you know how much I admire preparedness. How did you know we’d be in the living room?
 * Amy: Who said this is the only one I hid?