Love on the Rocks

[Before sunrise, everyone is in the kitchen, yawning.]

Danny: What is going on here? [yawning himself] Why is everyone so tired?

D.J.: I'd ask Nicky and Alex, but I don't wanna wake 'em. [And right on cue, the camera pans to our right (and her left), to reveal the sleeping twins.]

Jesse: Hey, uh, where the heck's the newspaper at? Checked all the usual places: The hedge, under the car, Gibbler's coffee table.

Joey: [coming downstairs and trying to sound like Lucky the Leprechaun] Hello! Top o' the morning to ya! Where's me ?

Becky: [coming in from the back door] Hey, you guys won't believe this: I was driving to the health club, and according to the radio it's 5:00 in the morning.

Jesse: It's not 5:00, it's 8:00. [He shows her his watch.]

[At which point, Joey laughs and exclaims...]

Joey: April Fool's!

[Jesse does his best to explain to the twins about the practical joke.]

Jesse: There's been a little mix up here and we're going to get a couple more hours of sleep, fellas.

Twins: [repeatedly chanting] No sleep! No sleep!...

[while at the same time...]

Jesse: [as he picks them up] Yes sleep! Yes sleep!...

D.J.: [to Becky] You should see Kimmy and Keanu. You have to pry them apart with the jaws of life.

[D.J.'s babysitting the twins as the rest of the family is out of the house. She sits on the couch while they play with their toy farm.]

D.J.: Well, it looks like you're my Saturday night dates. What do you want to do now?

Nicky: I wanna be a farmer.

Alex: Come on, D.J. You be a goat.

Nicky: Be a goat.

D.J.: [while moving the toy goat around] I'm a g-o-o-o-o-oat. I'm a g-o-o-o-o-oat. [The phone rings and she goes over to answer it.] Hello-o-o-o-o. [She clears her throat.] Hello?

Steve: [to Suzanne Somers, as she's waiting to use the payphone] It's all yours, Ms. Somers. And if I may say so, thanks to that of yours, my mom's got the cutest buns on the whole block.

Suzanne: How nice for your dad. [He leaves and gestures that the phone's now hers.] Thank you. [She pops in her change.]

[She leaves to go to Kimmy's party, but realizes what might happen when the twins are left alone...]

D.J.: What am I doing? I'm babysitting. But tomorrow's a brand new day.

D.J.: It's nice having these talks without being in trouble.

Danny: Well, if it'll make you feel any better, I could ground you for a couple weeks.