The Law

Hot Day

 * : …and today we'll see record-high temperatures in Elmore with a sweltering 120 degrees fahrenheit. I guess the term is no longer global warming: it's global burning.
 * : Dude, it's so hot that I'm sweating the sweat out.
 * : [Raspy] I don't have sweat glands, give me some!
 * : Ah. That's better. Gross, but better.
 * and : Ice cream truck!
 * : Ah. That's better. Gross, but better.
 * and : Ice cream truck!
 * and : Ice cream truck!
 * and : Ice cream truck!

Ice Cream!

 * : Quick! It's not gonna be there for long.
 * : But I have no shoes. I'm losing an inch with every step!
 * : Stop!
 * : What are you doing?
 * : Just one, please.
 * : Here you go.
 * : Thanks [Licks ice cream] Ugh! Brain freeze!
 * : Come on, come on!
 * : Do something, I'm melting here.
 * : Oh come on. Don't exaggerate...
 * : One ice cream please, good sir.
 * : Since you're such a polite boy and you guys are my last customers, this one's on the house.
 * : Mother, is it not ironic we get free food when clearly we could afford to pay for it?
 * : That's it, I'm crossing!
 * : Freeze, you hoodlums!
 * : What for?
 * : Jaywalking.
 * : Aw. Give us a break man! We just wanted an ice cream.
 * : I don't care! You're getting a ticket.
 * : Aw man. Really?
 * : I'm sorry. But that's the law, kid. Crime is a slippery slope. If I turn a blind eye on the smallest misdemeanor, before you know it the whole society falls apart. Especially in this heat.
 * : Hmm. Well I understand you're a cop, I mean it's obviously not your job to be cool.
 * : What do you mean 'not cool'? All kids think cops are cool.
 * : Not really.
 * : Yeah, we're more into privileged rap stars who pretend to be hardcore.
 * : That is ridiculous. Cops are cool! That's what I wanted to be when I was a kid.
 * : Okay, get in the car. I'll show you.
 * : Hold on. [Starts struggling]
 * : What are you doing?
 * : We're just pretending to be handcuffed. Sorry, I just don't want anyone to think we're friends with you.
 * : I WANT MY PHONE CALL! Do you mind pushing my head down? THERE'S NO JAIL THAT CAN HOLD ME!
 * : Just get in.
 * : Mother, you think it could be the heat that drove those two poor urchins to crime?
 * : No dear, it's public school.
 * : That is ridiculous. Cops are cool! That's what I wanted to be when I was a kid.
 * : Okay, get in the car. I'll show you.
 * : Hold on. [Starts struggling]
 * : What are you doing?
 * : We're just pretending to be handcuffed. Sorry, I just don't want anyone to think we're friends with you.
 * : I WANT MY PHONE CALL! Do you mind pushing my head down? THERE'S NO JAIL THAT CAN HOLD ME!
 * : Just get in.
 * : Mother, you think it could be the heat that drove those two poor urchins to crime?
 * : No dear, it's public school.
 * : Mother, you think it could be the heat that drove those two poor urchins to crime?
 * : No dear, it's public school.
 * : No dear, it's public school.

Riding With The Sheriff

 * : Dude, can you scratch my nose?
 * : You're not handcuffed, and he doesn't have a nose.
 * : Oh, yeah right. Uh [Frees himself] So, what's so cool about being a cop?
 * : Well... I file a lot of reports; I write parking tickets; I stop for lunch; I give some people directions; I file some more reports; I write some parking tickets; I make a report on all the reports I've filed.
 * : Sorry, you were so boring and we thought the car was moving and uh… I didn't expect to have to explain this. Uh please continue.
 * : [Sigh] Help me out here, guys! What do I have to do to prove to you that cops are cool?
 * : Sorry, you were so boring and we thought the car was moving and uh… I didn't expect to have to explain this. Uh please continue.
 * : [Sigh] Help me out here, guys! What do I have to do to prove to you that cops are cool?

Mischief

 * : See? It's not that hard having a good time. All you have to do is-
 * : Oh shoot! They're coming back down. Lets bail!
 * : Oh wait! You forgot to drive through the boxes.
 * : Oh yeah. I always wanted to do that.
 * : So, what other cool stuff can you do?
 * : I can commandeer any vehicle I want.
 * : Any…vehicle?
 * : Anything.
 * : Eh I can't complain. It is a spaceship.
 * : I can make it more interesting.
 * : How?
 * : [Panics] Oh my gosh! Oh it hurts!
 * : Wusses.
 * : Eh I can't complain. It is a spaceship.
 * : I can make it more interesting.
 * : How?
 * : [Panics] Oh my gosh! Oh it hurts!
 * : Wusses.
 * : Wusses.
 * : Wusses.

Things a Taser Can Do

 * : Wow, I forgot you guys had those. What else can you do with them?
 * : Well…
 * , and : Hahahahaha- [Falls down, silent]
 * , and : Hahahahaha- [Falls down, silent]

Just Getting Started

 * : Look Billy, Elmore's finest risking their lives to protect our freedom.
 * : [Blazes siren two times]
 * and : That's the sound of law enforcement!
 * : [Blazes siren two times again]
 * and : That's the sound of law enforcement! [Laughs with the sheriff]
 * : Oh man, I take it all back. Cops are cool!
 * : Yeah, that was really fun.
 * : 'Was'? What do you mean 'was'? WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!
 * : Did you see that?
 * : Dude, look at your car! What are we gonna do?
 * : Ohhh. That's not a problem…for a COP!
 * : Stop! I commandeer this vehicle.
 * : And that sir is exactly why you need to wear a seatbelt. Gets in car] Come on guys, get in the car!
 * : Uh, this doesn't feel right-
 * : In the name of the law GET IN THE CAR!
 * : Help, police!
 * : Eh false alarm.
 * : Help, ambulance!
 * : Uh, this doesn't feel right-
 * : In the name of the law GET IN THE CAR!
 * : Help, police!
 * : Eh false alarm.
 * : Help, ambulance!
 * : Eh false alarm.
 * : Help, ambulance!
 * : Help, ambulance!

Road Rampage and Chaos

 * : It's light it's light it's red!
 * : [Grunts] I don't want to be a bust to you but-uh isn't all this a bit too much?
 * : I think what Darwin is politely trying to say is HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GOSHDARN MIND!?
 * : [Laughs]
 * : Darn. I missed every single one of them.
 * : Dude, I know you just want to show you're cool. But we're still (???)
 * : When you drive with your eyes closed, and your hands in the air too!
 * : Ah, great idea! [Drives with eyes closed and hands in air]
 * : [Screams]
 * : Whoohoo!
 * : No. NO! He was trying to use reverse psychology!
 * : Did someone say reverse!?
 * : Please I'm begging you. Someone's gonna get hurt unless you stop breaking the law!
 * : Don't worry kid, nothing can happen. I AM THE LAW! [Laughs hysterically]
 * : Oh thank gosh it's the old stroller-full-of-trash trick.
 * : No. NO! He was trying to use reverse psychology!
 * : Did someone say reverse!?
 * : Please I'm begging you. Someone's gonna get hurt unless you stop breaking the law!
 * : Don't worry kid, nothing can happen. I AM THE LAW! [Laughs hysterically]
 * : Oh thank gosh it's the old stroller-full-of-trash trick.
 * : Don't worry kid, nothing can happen. I AM THE LAW! [Laughs hysterically]
 * : Oh thank gosh it's the old stroller-full-of-trash trick.
 * : Oh thank gosh it's the old stroller-full-of-trash trick.

Police Station

 * : Misuse of your police siren, unlawful discharge of your weapon! Absolute disregard for traffic lights and grand theft auto, assault with a motorized vehicle! BABY BASHING!? My sand castle's got a jelly bone here, and there's no one to scoop out the dice! I'm blowing a foghorn, but the only thing coming out of it is hot foam! AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR!?
 * : Nnnnnnn-not really.
 * : I'm taking your badges.
 * : We don't work for the police.
 * : Oh. [To Sheriff] Then I'm taking your badge. YOU'RE FIRED!
 * : Oh. [To Sheriff] Then I'm taking your badge. YOU'RE FIRED!

Orange Woman's Dark Side

 * : [Groans] What is wrong with me?
 * : Don't blame yourself, man. Maybe it was the heat.
 * : By 'heat', you mean 'you' Gumball.
 * : Hey! You're the one who said he was about as cool as world music.
 * : I did.
 * : That's alright kid, it's true.
 * : No it isn't! [Jumps off bench] Wait, yeah it is. [Sits again] But who will protect our freedom? Who will make sure-
 * : [Hums a heroic tune]
 * : -that society doesn't fall apart? Who will keep the streets safe for every man, woman and child? Who will make sure that we never lose control of our destiny? Not the cool hero we want but the petty, uptight, and boring-
 * : [Continues heroic tune]
 * : [Stares and crosses arms]
 * : [Continues heroic tune, then stops]
 * : [To Sheriff] You need to get your job back.
 * : [Makes short tune]
 * : [Sighs] No. I don't have it in me.
 * : [Walks to side of the road] Well, what if someone were to…jaywalk?
 * : Eh, wouldn't matter.
 * : Wouldn't it? I remember a certain pastry who once told me that if one "turns a blind eye on the smallest misdemeanor, before you know it the whole of society falls apart"
 * : Really? Jaywalking right in front of the police, isn't there any law left around this town!?
 * : Huh?
 * : Well if that's the way it is, why should I pay for this ice cream, huh? Why don't I just help myself!? Why don't I just take a whole darn truck!
 * : WHY DON'T I JUST UPSET WHO I LIKE!? '[Continues raging]
 * : Well, that got out of hand quickly.
 * : WHY DON'T I JUST UPSET WHO I LIKE!? '[Continues raging]
 * : Well, that got out of hand quickly.
 * : Well, that got out of hand quickly.

More Road Rampage

 * : I mean since there is obviously no law in this town, why don't I take a nice drive right through the park! Why don't I just keep on driving until I RUN someone OVER!
 * : We need a vehicle.
 * : There! [Points to some bikes near a baby stroller]
 * : Is this really the best you can do!?
 * : Just step on it. Put the siren on.
 * : [Imitates siren]
 * : [Drives through fleeing people] COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR EVERYONE'S HEALTH AND SAFETY! Why don't I just-!
 * : [Drives by Neck Beard] GET OUT OF THE WAY DOUGHBOY!
 * : Watch out!
 * : No! I've had it with people using their strollers like weapons to push people out of their way for one stupid go- [Gets knocked down by stroller]
 * : Why don't I run over this beautiful swan, and get people who dare complain- [Continues rambling]
 * : Pull over!
 * : [Continues rambling] -about my complete disregard for mother nature!
 * : Pull over lady! [Rams truck]
 * : [Rams back]
 * : She's headed for the gate!
 * : Okay. She asked for this. Get behind her!
 * : Wicked! Ice cream truck.
 * : Commissioner, look out!
 * : Don't move! You should have done your job when you had the chance. One more step, and the commissioner kicks his own bucket!
 * : Please don't! I have a wife, and three nuggets to feed.
 * : [Quietly] Uh man, do something!
 * : I can't! I can't think of any lame puns, and I'm not a cop anymore.
 * : Yes. Yes you are! [Throws badge]
 * : You just got iced.
 * and : [Make tunes]
 * : Don't move! You should have done your job when you had the chance. One more step, and the commissioner kicks his own bucket!
 * : Please don't! I have a wife, and three nuggets to feed.
 * : [Quietly] Uh man, do something!
 * : I can't! I can't think of any lame puns, and I'm not a cop anymore.
 * : Yes. Yes you are! [Throws badge]
 * : You just got iced.
 * and : [Make tunes]
 * : You just got iced.
 * and : [Make tunes]

A Cool Cop

 * : Well, like I've always said with the potato chips and down the hash about to grab...
 * : Can you take these off please? It's like a million degrees out here.
 * : No, you would choke.
 * : Can we at least have an ice cream?
 * : What're you gonna do with her?
 * : I'll do what any [Winks] cool cop would do, and let her off with a warning.
 * : Are you kidding me!? That woman is a menace to society. She's an absolute psychopathic criminal!
 * : Eh. Too cool?
 * : I'll do what any [Winks] cool cop would do, and let her off with a warning.
 * : Are you kidding me!? That woman is a menace to society. She's an absolute psychopathic criminal!
 * : Eh. Too cool?
 * : Eh. Too cool?