Super Cafe: Batman v Superman- It's On!

Batman: So, did you see the trailer?

Superman: Yes! I watched it, like, a thousand times!

Batman: Pretty awesome, right?

Superman: Awesome is not even enough to describe it.

Batman: Yeah, I know.

Superman: With the music and the voiceover...

Batman: Right.

Superman: And the original lightsabre.

Batman: What?

Superman: And when Han and Chewie came out...

Batman: *groan*

Superman: I teared up.

Batman: You're not talking about...

Superman: Super-Tears-Man. That was me. (sighs) Such a great trailer.

Batman: I'm not talking about the Star Wars trailer!

Superman: Why not? Are you talking about Jurassic World?

Batman: No!

Superman: Ant-Man?

Batman: No!

Superman: ... Terminator?

Batman: I'M TALKING ABOUT OUR TRAILER!

Superman: Oh yeah, I... I saw it.

Batman: So what did you think?

Superman: I think you were trying to sound like Ultron.

Batman: I am not!

Superman: You totally are with that robot voice.

Batman: (talking like Batfleck) There's nothing wrong with my robot voice.

Superman: I mean you might as well have said "I'm going to tear you apart from the inside".

Batman: I asked "Do you bleed?". That's totally different.

Superman: Whatever. Well, the answer is yes because everyone saw me bleed in Superman 2. Did you not notice that?

Batman: Oh, I noticed. But now I'm gonna make you bleed. So now it's like "Woooo, look out."

Superman: Well I hope that makes you feel better.

Batman: Oh, it will.

Superman: Because you know what you should be really hoping for?

Batman: What's that?

Superman: That Han and Chewie actually make it through the first act of Episode VII.

Batman: They'd never kill Han!

Superman: Well, I hope you're right because I have a bad feeling about this.

Batman: You're a bad feeling about this.

Superman: What does that even mean?

Batman: It means I'm always right. BECAUSE I-!

Superman: Because you're Batman!

Batman: Don't interrupt my catchphrase!

Superman: Well, maybe you shouldn't make your catchphrase so easy to see coming.

Batman: Well, maybe you should watch your back.

Superman: Or else what?

Batman: Or else I'll make a bunch of gadgets and teach you a lesson.

Superman: Well, that sounds like I'll LEARN something and become better than I was in the first place!

Batman: Oh, you will.

Superman: Well, thanks for making me more amazing!

Batman: I hate you so much right now.

Superman: The Star Wars trailer is better, dude!

Batman: We're gonna fight. I'm soooo gonna fight you.

Superman: Why, because you're Batman?

Batman: BECAUSE I'M BETTER THAN YOU!

Superman: Dude, I will hug you to your grave!

Batman: No, you won't!

Superman: Yes, I will! We are friends!

Batman: No, we aren't! You're too dangerous! You've got to be stopped!

Superman: Stop me from saving people?! Okay, Detective, that makes perfect sense!

Batman: We're done here! From here on out, it's on!

Superman: It's on?

Batman: Oh, it's on. Becau-!

Superman: Because you're Batman?!

Batman: Yes... Because I'm Batman.

Super Cafe: It's on!

The End.

Superman: Okay but can we still have coffee? Because I enjoy our little talks.

Batman: Oh absolutely, sure. That's fine.

Superman: Okay, good.