Stakeout Takeout

Synced and corrected By Katniss Everdeen Uh, you might want to upgrade the weather app on your phone, short shorts. It's fuh-reezing outside. Well, it's stuh-upid in here. Did you forget? I'm going with Marisa to Miami to see her grammy. Ha! For the next seven days, I'm going to be Fun K. C.. Fun K. C. ? I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of meeting her. Well, nice to make your acquaintance. Face! I don't think I like Fun K. C.. Well, I do. For the next seven days, I'm going to get my beach on, I'm gonna order fruity drinks till my teeth hurt, and I'm gonna be dancing like no one's watching. Okay? Uh! Well, you're already dressing like nobody's watching. Hah! Hah! Hah! Face! (Laughs) Hey, Kace. I know you were looking forward to the beach, but the organization called and you have an assignment. Yup, a seating assignment for my flight to Miami. Seat 12D. K. C. ! Oh, come on! Oh, when danger comes for you You know I'll stand beside you 'Cause ain't nobody keep they head so cool I'll always find a way, a way out of the fire But don't tell nobody, tell nobody I'm not perfect So many things I wanna tell you But I, I, I, I keep it undercover Livin' my life on red alert Doin' my thing, gonna make it work Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless But I always got your back Nobody can do it like I can I gotta find out who I am Ain't got to worry about me It's all part of the plan I keep it undercover. I keep it undercover. This is it, kids! Your first stakeout! Ooh! This is gonna be so much fun. Yeah! Instead of a fresh ocean breeze. I'm stuck smelling Ernie's wind. It's not my fault my body can't process broccoli. So who exactly are we staking out? Uh-huh. Alexander Garrett. A notorious bank robber who recently escaped prison. Huh! Here I thought I wasn't gonna meet any cute boys while I was stuck in here. Man, that guy's beard got more bands than Coachella. Okay, the organization wants us to stake out Garrett's old apartment. They think that he will return to pick up some stolen cash he stashed there. Really? This is the "can't miss mission-of-the-year"? Watching a door? Ooh, what's next? We're gonna stake out a laundromat to see who's stealing the lost socks? You killed Fun K. C. for this? Hey! Don't blame me, blame the organization. This is a dangerous dude. They need us to take him down. Ooh, baby! Time to bake the biscuits. I'm finally gonna engage in some hand-to-hand combat. Woo! Hah! Hah! Ow! You know what? Do that again and I'm gonna engage in some foot-to-butt combat. Look, bro, who are you kidding, okay? We all know you're not good at combat. I mean, it's a battlefield just for you to get out of your turtleneck. Son, she's right. You're the computer guy. You'll always be the computer guy. Excuse me. I'm more than just a computer guy. I can do a myriad of spy-related things. Like what? I can't think of any right now, but there's a myriad of them. A myriad. Okay, I have a special assignment just for you. Yes! Bring it on! I want you to call that number, Got it! And tell whoever answers the phone that you want to order a large chicken vindaloo. Yes! Order a large chicken vindaloo. Mm-hmm. Is that code for something? No. But if they ask, it's listed on the menu as the #14. Hurry Curry? Yeah! My favorite stakeout takeout. Ha ha! The best Indian food this side of, well, India. Wait, it's not bad enough that I don't get to go on vacation and have to be stuck in this tiny van, but now you wanna order Indian food? It'll be like living in a giant metal diaper. Do they have any curry broccoli? No. And even if they did, heck no! (Tablet ringing) (Sighs) Marisa, could you please cheer me up and tell me it is cloudy, raining on the beach, and you miss me terribly. I'm sorry, K. C., but I am having the time of my life. I have barely noticed you're not with me. In fact, it was only when I turned to tell you I don't miss you at all that I realized you're not here. You're miserable, aren't you? I have no one to talk to! Marisa, just, you gotta find some interesting people to talk to. I don't wanna talk to interesting people. I wanna talk to you. I'm starving. And this delivery is taking forever. Well, perhaps the delivery guy is on vacation. You see, people who work really really hard, they get a vacation. I understand that you're disappointed about your trip, but there's nothing I can do about it, so please stop complaining. I need a bathroom break. My giant slushie went right through me. Thankfully, I still have the giant slushie cup. Ernie, instead of being on a hot beach, I'm in a hot van with your hot breath. Now the last thing I need is for you to refill that cup. Now I'm asking you no I am begging you to please take it outside! How dare you! I was always going to take it outside for your information. I am a classy gentleman. Now if you need me, I'll be in the alley. Peeing next to the dumpster. (Incoming call) Hey, Craig. Just seeing how you and Ernie are doing on the stakeout. Oh, uh, we're doing fine. Gotta go. Bye! Hey, Beverly! Is that K. C. ? I'm surprise to see you. I thought you'd be on a beach, slathered in SPF40. Letting the sun kiss your face. While slurping on a cool beverage from a waiter with an eight-pack named Berrrnardo. Oh-oh! Oh! And I am not living vicariously through you. Just surprised to see you, is all. Well, I'm surprised that you're surprised because you're the one who told my dad I couldn't go. What? Uh, I think we're getting a bad signal here. No, you earned that vacation. There's no reason you should be on this stakeout. How do you turn this thing off? Where's the computer guy when you need him? I'm not just the computer guy! Hold up! Uh-oh. (Clears throat) Are you trying to tell me that the organization didn't actually assign me to this mission? No! It says right here, it was a two-person assignment. Craig and Ernie Cooper, pay your gas bill. Oh, you know what? That was a reminder from me. Thank you for calling, Beverly. I was supposed to be on vacation. (Sighs) I was really looking forward to it, and you knew that. Why would you do this to me? Why? 'Cause I figured you'd never find out. Dad! Look, I'm sorry. But this bank robber could be dangerous. You really think I want my back-up to be Mr. Bake the Biscuits? I wouldn't even trust Mr. Bake the Biscuits to be my back-up on baking biscuits. Excuse me? How dare you ruin my trip just because you don't trust your own son. How dare you not trust your own son! No no no, son, I trust you. I trust your brain. Your brawn is a little sketchy, right? I am more than just a beautiful mind. Ernie, I'm sorry. (Sighs) My whole trip to Miami? Gone. Kace, I feel terrible. (Sighs) Well, on the bright side, we're making family memories. Huh? The kind you'll talk about for years. Mm yeah, in therapy. Okay, if you're still mad at me, just say so. Oh, come on, man. You're so mad that you won't even respond? Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how to respond. I only know about computers. Perhaps you can write me an e-mail. Then stick it in your outbox! Hiiii! K. C. ! What are you doing? We're in a stakeout. You're acting as if that would go unnoticed. Let's start a discothÃ¨que! Dad! Look, K. C. is gone, okay? From now on, it is Fun K. C. in the house! Ha! In the van! What are you talking about? Dad, I do everything I'm supposed to do. I get good grades, I kick butt on missions, I'm a good daughter, a great sister Well Ha! Face! Look, Dad, all year long, I am pulled in 100 different directions and one week out of the year, I get to let loose a little bit. Now you may have tricked me into missing my vacation but I am not missing out on the fun! Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to play a little beach volleyball. Ha ha ha! Spiked ya! All right, I'm gonna let that one go. (Knocking) Delivery: Hurry Curry! (Exclaims) Hey. Hello, my friend. Here's your order. Man, you took your time. (Laughs) Hurry Curry. Shouldn't that be "Didn't Really Hurry Curry"? Huh? Or "We Take Our Sweet Time Curry"? Or (Laughs) "We Took So Long the Food Has Gotten Furry Curry"? Yes, I get it. It's funny because I am a few minutes late, meanwhile, you live in a van. It's all right, papadums, chutney, naan wait, this is tofu vindaloo. Exactly, my friend. $42. 72. No! I wanted chicken vindaloo. You brought me the wrong thing. No, my friend, I brought you the right thing. You ordered the wrong thing. $42. 72. Plus tip! (Scoffs) Ha! I'm not giving you a dime until you bring me what I ordered. That is no way to treat a friend, my friend. You are no longer welcome to order from Hurry Curry. You're banned, van man! No! Something wrong, Dad? Yeah, my chicken vindaloo. They brought me tofu instead. (Sighs) Maybe they heard the order wrong. Maybe you said the order wrong. Or maybe I hacked into their website and changed your order at the last minute. Out of spite. What? How could you do that? Pretty easily, actually. As we all know, I'm the computer guy. (Laughs) Can you believe what your brother did? Ha! Not only do I believe it, but, uh, it was my idea. Hey, you really are Fun K. C.. (Laughs) Face! (Tablet ringing) Oh, K. C., thank goodness you called. I am so bored. I was just about to read a book. A book? Girl, please. We are on vacation, okay? We gotta turn up. We gotta get this party started. We gotta blow the roof off this sucker. Fun K. C. ? Is that you? Well, I figured since I can't be there in body, I can be there in tablet. So, put me on the chair next to you because I'm officially starting my virtual vaca. Holla! Yeah, I don't think anyone says that anymore. Really? You can "blow the roof off this sucka" and I can't holla? (Exhales) This is the life. Yup, just you and me. And a big bag of eye candy. Ooh, turn the tablet. I wanna see. Okay, but don't stare. It'll look weird. Okay, my friend, so one garlic naan, papadums, mango chutney and a chicken vindaloo. Your address? Oh, no address. I'll just pick it up. (Gasps) This is the van man! Isn't it! You didn't even change your order! Don't call here again! But it wasn't my fault! My kid Noo! I gotta get some of that chicken vindaloo. I feel ya, Dad. So sad when you want something really bad and you can't have it. It's like you really want chicken vindaloo, yet the person who decides who gets chicken vindaloo thinks you're just the computer guy. Oh. Ohh. Okay, if you are done busting my chops, I think I know what's happening here. We're starting to catch a little stakeout fever. We just need a little break from one another, I'll take the first shift. Call me if the bank robber shows up. Yeah. Good idea, Dad. You should take a little break. You worked hard. You deserve it! K. C., enough already. Will you just let it go? No! Ernie, what he did was completely unfair. Trust me, it is no fun having the rug pulled out from under you. You're disappointed, huh? Yeah, you're dang right I am. You feel hurt, don't you? I do. I really do. Well, now take what you're feeling, and multiply it by (Shouting) every single day of my entire life! Excuse me? Oh, poor K. C.. One little thing goes wrong, and you fall apart. My entire life is nothing but disappointment. You had the rug pulled out from under you? Well, I never even got a rug. Okay, Ernie, look. I get that you're upset because Dad doesn't trust you with being a part of the action, but he's doing you a favor. Okay? You would just fail miserably. Okay, that sounded different in my head. But, bro, what I'm trying to say is (Sighs ) I know you want to be the hero, but you're just not the hero type. Okay, that didn't come out right either. You know what else didn't come out right? Me. I'm sick of the way this whole family treats me. Oh, come on, Ernie. Ernie! Come on, don't act like that. You're not supposed to leave the monitor. Why am I the only one on the stakeout? I'm supposed to be on vacation! (Sighs) (Tablet ringing) Hey, K. C.. Say hello to Paul. Isn't he adorable? Hey, Marisa, now is really not a good time. I got into a fight with my dad and then Ernie got mad and he walked away. And he was all angry Oh, that's horrible. Anyway, this is Paul. And while I'm hanging with him, you'll be hanging with the super cool, super fun friend, Stanley. Yeah, no, Marisa, please don't, okay? Under no circumstances am I having some ridiculous video date with a Hello, Stanley. Isn't this your lucky day? You get to be face-to-face with The Stanster. At least that's what people call me. Well, my dad. That's what my dad calls me. So what do your, uh, peepy peeps call you? Busy. Very very busy. Well, I'm gonna call you Ms. Buoyancy, 'cause you're afloat my boat. Mm, well I'm starting to get a little seasick. Ha! Can I have one papaya lime surprise, please. With extra surprise. I'm having that kind of day. Give me a sample of your bango mango tango. May I suggest a sample of manners? I was ordering my uhh What'd you say to me, twerp? I said I was ordering my yogurt when you totally ignored this nice man behind me. Go ahead, nice man with a very nice, very unique beard. Well, as much as I have enjoyed our lengthy conversation about your fear of dog nipples, I really gotta go. So, could you do me a favor and tell Marisa that that you had a great time? That you want a second date? That you've fallen under the spell of The Stanster? (Tablet ringing) Oh, darn, I'm getting another call. I should probably take it, could be a telemarketer. K. C. , I'm at the froyo place on the corner. Rubber band man is here. Get down here quick. Okay, I-I got it, I'll be right there. And thank you so much for saving me from my date. Your date? You met someone in the van? It's a long story. I'll be right there. Still here. Ha, not anymore. (Doorbell rings) Who is it? Delivery from Hurry Curry, my friend. (Coughing) Oh, I'm sorry. I can't open the door anymore than this. I'm incredibly sick. But I'm hoping this curry gets my sinuses open again. That'll be $42. 72, my friend. Plus tip. Tip? (Laughs) Tips are for people who show up on time. Huh? Hurry Curry? You should've just called it "Lollygagging Curry. " Or why "Don't You Just Make It Yourself Curry"? Or, "It'd Be Faster To Go To India Curry. " I knew it! Van man! Give me that vindaloo! No! You're bad! Give it to me! You don't deserve it. That's my food. I'm hungry. Then order Chinese! That'll be $42. 72, my friend. Oh, I am not your friend. Hey. Wah! Relax, girl. Is Garrett still in there? Yeah. All right, I'm going in. You stay out here. You know what? I'm not gonna do it. Then who's gonna do it? You are. Me? Yes, you. But I'm just the computer guy. Ernie, what did you tell me before? You have spent your entire life being disappointed. Are you really gonna disappoint yourself now, too? Look, I was wrong. You are the hero type. Now go in there and be a hero! Take your shot. But I'm more worried about him taking his shot! Don't worry. I got your back. I'll be right here. Now go bake the biscuits, man. Time to bake the biscuits. Time to bake the biscuits. Time to bake the biscuits. Time to puke in my mouth. Ugh! So, um, temporary tattoos. Cool, not cool? Feel free to share. This is a safe space. I'm gonna make you sorry you were ever born. Too late. I'm already sorry! Ahh! Uhh! Uhh! Oh, no! (Grunting) (Yelling) (Screaming) Uh, you-you got a little something on your face! Uh-huh! That's right. That just happened. Dude had it coming. Eating carob chips right out of the toppings bar. Shame on him! Man, I knew you could do it. Okay, I didn't know you could do it, but I was hoping. (Laughs) I can't believe it. My boy single-handedly took down Alexander Garrett? You proved me wrong, son. Yeah, but as good as it felt, I really think I belong behind the computer. Mostly because computers don't punch back. And you know what, I'm really good with computers. Wow. That's cool. You know, most people go their whole lives trying to figure out what they're good at. You're 14. And you already know. Proud of you, son. Thanks, Dad. Mm-hmm. Hey, you never did tell me. How exactly did you get K. C. to forgive you? Let's just say I called in a few favors. (Helicopter above) Hey. What's for lunch? K. C. ! Sorry I'm late. Late? Actually, you're right on time. (Laughs) Hey, there Stanster.