Fogged In

[Jesse comes downstairs to the kitchen, very exhausted.]

Danny: Jess, you better check the expiration date on that mousse.

D.J.: I've never seen anyone look so wiped out.

[Joey comes upstairs to the kitchen, also very exhausted.]

Jesse: Joseph, we did it. We stayed up all night, but finally finished that jingle.

Joey: Yeah, that sunrise was real inspiring.

Kimmy: [entering the back door] Good morning. I'm here for the weekend.

Jesse & Joey: [looking at each other] Ahhhhh!

D.J.: They're just kidding. Kimmy, we're gonna have so much fun.

[Suddenly, the front doorbell rings.]

Joey: I'll get it.

Kimmy: Thanks for letting me stay, Mr. Tanner. Don't forget, I'm allergic to dairy products, feather pillows... and 6-year-olds.

Stephanie: Don't look at me. I'm 6 ¾.

Danny: Your parents are coming back Sunday?

Kimmy: Absolutely. Wednesday at the latest.

[She and her best friend head upstairs.]

Jesse: Who wants to chip in for a hotel?

[And by the collective show of hands, everyone seems to want to do just that.]

Jesse: (entering his room as D.J. and Kimmy record the song "The Locomotion"): What are you doing?

D.J.: The Locomotion.

Jesse: Where'd you get this tape?

D.J.: It was in there!

Jesse: Oh, no. Please tell me you didn't tape over my Casa de Pancakes jingle!

[He rewinds the tape, which was recorded by D.J. and Kimmy.]

Tape: [the ending] Casa de Pancakes, olé!

Jesse: I can't believe it! It's gone! You guys destroyed it! Now I'm gonna have to do the whole thing over again!

Kimmy: Not the whole thing. You still got "Casa de Pancakes, olé!".

Jesse: Now, D.J., this is my room, and you have no right being in here without my permission.

D.J.: But...

Jesse: I don't want to hear any buts!

D.J.: But it was an accident.

Jesse: What did I just say?! Now how much is it just to check a tape before you record over it?! I want you guys both get out of here before I get mad!

Kimmy: Before?

D.J.: Look. I'm really sorry. It was an accident. But you don't have to worry, 'cause I'm never gonna come into this room again. [She and Kimmy leave the room.]

[Stephanie enters Michelle's room, looking for someone to play with.]

Stephanie: Hi, Michelle. What a day. D.J. was playing all day with Kimmy Gibble-burger. I don't believe I'm gonna say this, but would you play with me?

Michelle: No.

Stephanie: Please. Pretty please. I'll play anything you want.

Michelle: Horsy.

Stephanie: Okay, hop on.

Michelle: Go horsy.

Stephanie: Come on. Mr. Bear, I can't believe I've sunk this low.

[After Jesse demonstrates the new drum set to everyone in the living room, Cheryl and Joey prepare to depart for their Tahoe skiing trip.]

Cheryl: Come on, we better get to Tahoe.

Nick: Better hurry up. The fog is really getting thick.

Cheryl: How thick is it?

Joey: Well, I wouldn't say it's as thick as pea soup but people are throwing croutons out their windows.

[Jesse does a and cymbal crash.]

[As the girls get ready for bed, Jesse's parents enter to say goodnight.]

D.J.: Dad, how come everybody's mad tonight?

Stephanie: Maybe it's because Kimmy Gibbler's here.

Danny: I don't think so. [Kimmy is munching loudly on potato chips.] Maybe.

[Jesse tells Michelle a fairy tale regarding him, Danny, D.J., and the drums.]

Jesse: So... the nice handsome prince with great hair gave the young princess a magical, musical gift. Just then the tall, geeky giant came in and took the gift away. The princess was so sad and that, Michelle, was the day the music died.

Danny: Give me my kid.

Michelle: Geeky giant.

Jesse: Geeky giant. Yeah, Michelle, that was my favorite part too. Give me a kiss. Give me a kiss. [He leaves.]

Danny: Let me tell you the real story. Once upon a time, the tall and lean and elegant prince from the Land of Wisdom came to save the princess from the hot-headed troubadour who spent way too much time on his hair.

Michelle: Geeky giant.

[Kimmy's snoring is keeping the roommates up.]

Stephanie: Does she snore that loud because she has air in her head?

D.J.: This is so weird. She never snores when she's sleeping in class. Let's get her out of here. Come on, Kimmy. Get up. [They help her to her feet.] Come on. Come on.

Stephanie: I pity the fool who marries this woman [see Trivia].

[They walk her out of the room.]

D.J.: Let's go, Kimmy. Come on.

Stephanie: Come on.

[Out in the hall...]

D.J.: Come on, Kimmy. Let's go visit your new bed.

Kimmy: [exhaustively] Why?

Stephanie: Because you snore like a garbage truck.

[They get her into Michelle's room, and set her down in the rocking chair.]

D.J.: Look, Kimmy. Here's your new bed.

Stephanie: Snore your head off.

[They walk out of the room and close the door behind them. Michelle tries shushing Kimmy and even covering her ears, to no avail.]

Michelle: Oh no.

[At 3 a.m., D.J. is about to go back to sleep from a bathroom trip, but Jesse needs to talk to her pronto.]

Danny: D.J., get down here. Come on, honey. Uncle Jesse needs to talk to you right away.

D.J.: Dad, can I keep my drum set?

Danny: Yes, you can keep the drums.

D.J.: [excitedly] All right!

Danny: But the sticks have gotta go.

[He heads back to sleep so Jesse can have his "little talk" with his oldest niece.]

Jesse: D.J., I should have talked to you today about our fight instead of buying you a big gift.

D.J.: Don't be so hard on yourself.

Jesse: You know, kid, people have things they don't like about themselves and....Well, me, I have my temper. And sometimes I say things the wrong way and I hurt the people that I love.

D.J.: I don't blame you for being mad at me. I did tape over your pancake jingle.

Jesse: But I didn't handle it right. I embarrassed you in front of your friend, I hurt your feelings and then I tried to buy your forgiveness. That was wrong. You know what I'm saying?

D.J.: Kind of.

Jesse: Maybe this will help you. When I was a kid and I did something wrong, my dad would blow his top and send me to my room. A couple hours later, he'd come back with a Batman comic book. And that's how I knew everything was okay. But we never... We never talked about the problem. You know, we never talked about our feelings, the way I felt. I don't want that to happen to you and me. I want our relationship to be better than that.

D.J.: I think we're doing pretty good.

Jesse: You ain't seen nothing yet, kid. When I was your age, I used to get in so much trouble. I remember this one time I was playing football and Pop was watching TV. [She's falling asleep.] His favorite show, The Beverly Hillbillies. I kicked a field goal right through Jethro's face. He yelled at me all night long. He had nothing better to do, the TV was busted. Anyway, kid, the point that I'm trying to make here is... D.J.? D.J.? [She's fast asleep.] And they lived happily ever after.