Diary of a Wimpy Kid Icarus / Adjustment Burro

(Starts at Video Game School)

(Bell rings, and we see Megaman, Donkey Kong, Sonic, and Pikachu)

Megaman: Ah, Video Game School, where we strive to find what makes us unique!

(Cuts to Donkey Kong)

Donkey Kong: We're also making fun of anyone who's different! (Hurls a barrel at PaRappa)

(PaRappa is hit hard by the barrel, slamming him face down, and Sonic, Pikachu, Donkey Kong and Megaman laugh)

Megaman: Man, cliques are awesome!

(...when Pit and his mom arrive from Heaven to Video Game School!)

Pit's Mother: Enjoy your first day, my angel! I know you're literally an angel, but you're also figuratively an angel, because you're my (Hugs Pit) special gift sent from Heaven! I gotta go because I don't wanna embarass you! Don't pick your nose too much. (Takes off, and Pit falls, while Megaman, Donkey Kong, Sonic, and Pikachu laugh)

Pit: I am Pit, just another classic video game character like you guys!

Megaman: Uh-huh! Yeah, we never heard of ya.

Pit: I'm from the game (Pulls out an NES copy of Kid Icarus) Kid Icarus.

Megaman: Oh-ho-ho! Yeah, we still don't know what you're talking about.

Donkey Kong: Nice dress, though! (Laughs alongside Megaman, Sonic, and Pikachu)

Pit: (In his head) For the record, Video Game School is the dumbest thing ever created.

(Title card: Diary of a Wimpy Kid Icarus)

(Cuts to the halls of Video Game School, with the Pac-Man ghosts, Pac-Man, Dr. Eggman, and Koopa Troopa wandering about, with Pit behind a wall, and Megaman, Donkey Kong, Sonic, and Pikachu standing still)

Pit: (In his head) I was off to a rough start, but I wasn't gonna settle for anything less than being in the "Cool Crowd".

(Kirby shows up)

Kirby: Hey there, buddy! Wanna be friends?

Pit: Uhhhhhhhhhh...

Kirby: Come on, we have tons in common. Plus, everyone else hates us!

Pit: No they don't! Wait, why do they hate YOU?

Kirby: I sorta used to eat people. (Spits out a Waddle Dee) I sorta still eat people.

Pit: Well, no one hates ME. I'M cool! I can fly, (flies), I shoot arrows, (Fires an arrow at Bowser) and, uhhhhhh, did I mention I could fly?

(The crowd arrives)

Megaman: How's it going, Spit? (The crowd laughs)

Pit: It's PIT!

Megaman: Listen, Zit, I hope you've got a lot of extra lives, or it's GAME OVER FOR YOU!

Pikachu: Alright, how do we take five on all the game wordplay here, huh?

Pit: Don't you mean, "hit pause"? (Laughs)

Megaman: (Pretends to punch Pit, and laughs) You won't even make it after ONE DAY! (The crowd walks away)

Pit: (in his head) And that's when it hit me. I could make it through this first day, then I could PROVE I belong here! First I show them how smart I am...

Ms. Pac-Man: Now the things you know before handling these flowers is?

Pit: Ooh, I know! To avoid the thorns, or else you'll prick your-- (Touches the fire flower) THIS IS THE WRONG KIND OF FLOWER! (Pit screams in terror, fireballs spread all over the place)

(Ms. Pacman summons a Squirtle from an emergency, which sets off a water gun at Pit. Pit, covered in ash, chuckles, but everyone else except Kirby is staring at Pit angrily)

(cuts to the lunchroom, with Peach, Daisy, and Zelda)

Pit: (in his head) Then I'll charm the most popular girls in school. (normally) Hi, can we sit you?

Peach: With the princesses? You are definitely not a lost bet ability.

Pit: Well, surely there is a quest to complete to earn your favor.

(Peach, Daisy, and Zelda all laugh)

Peach: Sure, you can tell those guys to stop bothering us.

Pit: Sure, let's just say they will be left quivering after I...

(suddenly, Bowser, Wario, and Ganondorf appears)

Bowser: Found you! You what?

Pit: (stressing) ...after I initiate a dialogue and we all get to know each other. (nervously smiles)

(Pit and Kirby gets pummeled by Bowser, Wario, and Ganondorf. Cuts to the gym)

Pit: (in his head) And finally, the most important right of passage meant in the school... I mean dodgeball.

(It is Pit and Kirby against the rest of the classmates in a game of dodgeball, and Kirby and Pit tries to dodge all of the balls. Kirby is hit, but Pit dodges every ball)

Pit: Yes! They're out of balls! Popularity is mine... (gets hit by Kirby)

Kirby: It's not my fault; they threw me. And frankly, I have never been more insulted in my... oh who am I kidding this happens every day.

(cuts outside of school)

Pit: Well, it wasn't easy, but I survived the first day.

(Donkey Kong, Pikachu, Sonic, and Mega Man all then appear)

Mega Man: That's what you think, armpit!

Donkey Kong, Pikachu, and Sonic: Oooh snap.

Mega Man: Class may be over, but now it's time to get schooled.

Pit: Oh no.

(In Smash Bros. like style, the platform rises and a countdown from 3 appears (while the numbers being announced too, eventually ending with "GO!") with the character statuses below the platform. Eventually after enough fighting...)

Pit: (in his head) And sitting there watching all of the bads deserted me, I realized maybe popularity wasn't all it was cracked up to be. (normally) Ah, who am I kidding?

(Pit shoots a big arrow onto the main ruckus, ending the battle. The aftermath is Donkey Kong, Pikachu, Sonic, and Mega Man laying on the ground hurt, while Peach, Daisy, and Zelda is now comforting Pit, who is sitting on a chair. Kirby is nowhere to be seen)

Pit: That's more like it.

(Peach, Daisy, and Zelda laughs)

[Location: Hundred Acre Wood. As the screen pans down, we see Winnie the Pooh stuck in his home tree, trying to get out]

Narrator: It was a typical day in the Hundred Acre Wood. Pooh was stuck in his hole...

Winnie-the-Pooh: Oooh...

Narrator: ... Tigger was up to no good...

[Tigger bounces his way around, slapping Pooh in the rump along the way. The screen follows Tigger, eventually panning to Eeyore.]

Pooh: Oogh!

Narrator: ... and Eeyore was... well... we all know how down Eeyore gets.

Eeyore: What's the point of going on with the story?

Narrator: But unlike most days...

[Whistling comes from above, and Eeyore looks up. Enter Twilight Sparkle, falling from the air and crashing into Eeyore, rolling down and winding Eeyore down on the ground with Twilight on top.]

Eeyore: D'oogh.

'''Twilight Sparkle: Whoo! '''Almost crashed into a 747!

[And then, the moment one falls in love. A long pause occurs as Eeyore and Twilight eye each other.]

Eeyore: ... Are you from these woods?

Twilight: Do I look like I'm from these woods, sunshine?

[Caption: Today's events]

Narrator: Today's events...

[Twilight gallops away, leaving Eeyore to meet Pooh, who is just walking in.]

Pooh: Who was that?

Eeyore: I don't know... but she makes me... really happy! [Lightens up for the first time in his life. Holy epicness, let's party!]

[Caption: Weren't supposed to happen.]

Narrator: ... weren't supposed to happen.

(We now know what the announcer means by "weren't supposed to happen"... Eeyore is caught by Donkey, Hoof, and Lampwick, wearing fedoras. Donkey slaps Eeyore.)

Eeyore: What's happening?!

Donkey: We are the donkeys who make sure things happen according to plan.

Hoof: We monitor the entire world.

Lampwick: And-- [honks like a donkey, getting Donkey's and Hoof's attention] WE SAAAAAW!!! -- something that needed to be fixed. [Awkward pause] What?

[Title card: Adjustment Burro]

Narrator: The Adjustment Burro.

Eeyore: I see. (Runs away)

Donkey: You can't outrun your fate, Eeyore! (As he raises a hoof, Eeyore trips on something and falls into the river, seen by Hoof)

Hoof: YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO MEET HER!

Eeyore: But I did.

[In the background we see Tigger about to throw Winnie the Pooh in the river freeze in the moment.]

Lampwick: (As he holds a book labeled "Winnie-the-Pooh") You've seen her from outside of a book YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO EVEN KNOW EXISTED! (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a TV show, not a book, Lampwick!)

Hoof: And we need you to stay aside Donkey for things to go on as planned!

Eeyore: But, (Close-up of his face.) I don't WANNA be sad anymore!

(Caption: This fall...)

Narrator: This fall...

(Eeyore runs away)

Donkey: He's gettin' away!

(Caption: things...)

Narrator: things...

Eeyore: You gotta believe me, (Turns Twilight's head so it faces Eeyore) they're donkeys with hats who I'm guessing speak Spanish.

Twilight: I'm an unicorn who shoots rainbows. Which part of that am I not gonna believe?

(Caption: ...will not...)

Narrator: ...will not...

(Twilight Sparkle shoots rainbows on the grass)

Twilight Sparkle: Eeyore, run!

(Eeyore kicks Lampwick)

(Caption: ...go according...)

Narrator: ...go according...

Donkey: If you truly love her, then walk away.

(Caption: ...to plan.)

Narrator: ...to plan.

(Eeyore and Twilight run on the camera without having close-ups)

Eeyore: I don't care what you're putting my way...

(Eeyore and Twilight watches Donkey opens the door)

(Eeyore and Twilight runs through the fallen part)

Eeyore: I'm not giving up.

(Eeyore and Twilight jumps through the fallen part)

[Title card again: Adjustment Burro]

Narrator: The Adjustment Burro

Eeyore: I choose you, unicorn!

(Caption: Fate or free will. the choice is Eeyore's)

Narrator: Fate or free will. The choice is Eeyore's.

Tigger: Hoo hoo hoo! You did not, I just say that!