Binky vs. Binky


 * ''[first lines, as Binky puts on his T-shirt while opening the door]
 * Binky: Hey! Have you ever hear of knocking? [closing the door, then putting on a T-shirt] Okay, now I'm ready. Everybody has something that they're really proud of. For Brain, is his collection of Blues records.
 * Brain: [selecting a record] And this is the only recording ever of the great trombone and his sad shoehead Wilson. It's so rare. I won't even dust it. That could be the fingerprint of shoehead himself.
 * ''[Binky starts sneezing]
 * Binky: For Buster, it's a piece of pizza crust.
 * Buster: They called her The White Wonder. Five feet from crust to crust, and loaded with 10 pounds of mozzerella and ricotta! They said it couldn't be eaten by one person. They were wrong.
 * Binky: Pretty strange things proud of, right? Well, you want to know what I'm proud of? This shirt.
 * ''[the title card]
 * ''[cut to the soccer game]
 * Francine: Time out!
 * ''[the coach blows a whistle]
 * Francine: Okay, you guys. This is it. We're down by one with three minutes to go. We've gotta get past the Mighty Mountain Defence.
 * Buster: The only way we're getting past those guys is with a battering ram.
 * Arthur: Or a bulldozer.
 * Francine: Or...
 * Binky: Huh? But I can't do that. I only played defence.
 * Francine: No problem. All you have to do is run in front of me.
 * ''[the coach blows the whistle, then they play soccer, then Francine trips over, then Binky]
 * Binky: Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone's watching you.
 * Mrs. Barnes: Shoot!
 * Arthur: Wide open!
 * Mrs. Barnes: Shoot!
 * Binky: You heard them. Shoot already! All right! All right! Don't rush me. Whatever you do. Don't miss. Goal game depends on this shot!
 * Francine: What's he doing?
 * Buster: He looks like a flamingo!
 * Francine: Kick it! Kick it!
 * ''[he kicks it to Francine]
 * Francine: Not towards me, you...
 * ''[they kick the ball, then flying to the net, then Brain tries to get it, then they leave the soccer game]
 * Binky: [to Francine] You said kick it! So I kicked it!
 * Francine: [to Binky] I meant into the goal! It was a perfect shot!
 * Binky: Yeah, until you confuse me. Next time, keep your big mouth shut! [takes the bag]
 * Francine: I just don't get it. How could Binky not take that shot?
 * Buster: Maybe he fell asleep.
 * Francine: During a soccer game, standing on one leg?
 * Buster: It could happen! I fallen asleep in plenty of strange places.
 * Arthur: Maybe Binky cracked under pressure. Like last season in Italy. Remember?
 * ''[cut to Binky, getting in a baseball]
 * Arthur: In practice, Binky will get home-run after home-run, but, during an actual game...
 * Coach: Strike one!
 * ''[Binky tries to hit the baseball]
 * Coach: Strike two!
 * ''[Binky tries to hit the baseball again]
 * Coach: Strike three, and you're out!
 * ''[Binky walks away, then throwing the dirt]
 * Brain: Or remember the swim team? Binky was a variable of aquatic mammal when we learning strokes.
 * ''[Binky swims on top of the water]
 * Brain: And when it came time for a swim meet.
 * ''[the gun fires, then they all go dive in the pool]
 * Binky: Oh! ''[he dives the water]
 * Francine: I think you guys are right. Binky would be a quick competitor if he could only compete.
 * ''[they hear Buster snoring]
 * Arthur: Buster, come on.
 * Buster: What did I miss?
 * ''[cut to a TV with boxing while Binky watches it]
 * Binky: What's that?
 * Mrs. Barnes: Don't you recognize it? It's your swimming trophy. I founded it in the hall closet. [puts the trophy on the shelf] What it was doing there, I can't imagine.
 * Binky: Don't put it up there. [grabs the trophy]
 * Mrs. Barnes: Why not?
 * Binky: Because it's not a real trophy.
 * Mrs. Barnes: Of course it is. See? It says, "Binky Barnes: Excellent in participation."
 * Binky: That just means I came in last place.
 * Mrs. Barnes: Binky, you are an excellent swimmer, and you know it. Can I help it if I'm proud of you? [puts the trophy back on the shelf] There. Now don't you think that looks nice up there? Binky?
 * Binky: [sleeping on the bed] No. No.
 * ''[cut to the trophy awards]
 * Mrs. Barnes: This is for completing nursery school. Oh, this one is for being able to skip. Oh, and isn't this one beautiful? It's for the Elwood County Potato Sac Race. Oh, Binky wasn't actually in the race, but he was quite close to it. So they gave him this potato.
 * Binky: Mom! What are you doing?
 * Mrs. Barnes: I'm just showing your friends some of your awards, sweetie.
 * ''[Binky gasps]
 * Mrs. Barnes: [grabs a golden trophy] Oh, here's my favorite. The Just Being Binky Award. I bet none of you have one of these.
 * Francine: Oh, I want one!
 * ''[they all laugh, then cut back to the bedroom]
 * Binky: [screaming, then getting out of bed, angry] That does it. I'm getting rid of your for good. [opening a trash can]
 * ''[cut to a trash can, with Mrs. Barnes]
 * Mrs. Barnes: [gasping] Oh, what do such a thing?
 * ''[cut back to Binky, closing a trash can, then putting in the backpack, then putting it on, then cut to Binky, riding a bike, then going up, passing by Mr. Frensky]
 * Binky: Hey, Mr. Frensky!
 * ''[Mr. Frensky stops the bike, then Binky continues riding the bike, on the way to the City Dump, screeching, then taking the backpack off]
 * Mr. Frensky: Binky, I can't believe how quickly you made it up that hill.
 * Binky: Huh? Oh, yeah. I like hills.
 * Mr. Frensky: You like hills? I wish I did. [takes a drink of water] I started biking to work to losing a few pounds, but, that hill is a killer. I almost have to walk the last bit.
 * Binky: You just have to pedal hard before the hill, and then change gears at the right moment.
 * Mr. Frensky: Huh. I wonder if that's what Vance Legstrong does.
 * Binky: Who's that?
 * Mr. Frensky: What? You've never head of Vance Legstrong? He's probably the best bicyclist in the whole history of the sport.
 * Binky: I didn't even know biking was a sport.
 * ''[Mr. Frensky takes a drink of water again]
 * Mr. Frensky: I'm sure is.