HOPS / Naru210

(Scene begins with E.B. playing the drums)

E.B.'s Dad: E.B., you need to get ready. You're about to be crowned the Easter Bunny!

E.B.: Dad, I don't want to be the Easter Bunny. I want to be in a band!

(Scene goes to E.B.'s poster of CheapTrix)

E.B.'s Dad: Nonsense, what could be better than traveling the world and working only one day a year?

E.B.: Traveling the world and never working. Which is what bands do!

E.B.'s Dad: Kid's got a point. (Bubble appears) And if his band blows up, he might make a fortune. Then again, he might get mixed up with those Death Cab for Cutie boys. (Bubble disappears) Nope! I'm sorry, son! I can't allow you to--! (Gasp)

(Scene goes to E.B.'s drum which had a note saying "Gone to Hollywood")

E.B.'s Dad: He thinks he can ditch me, eh? Well, I know who can bring him in!

(Scene goes to title card "HOPS" with a siren blaring. The rap music plays)

("Los Angeles Police Department, Hollywood Precinct" appears bottom left)

Cop: Responding to a call about a rabbit on the run. (2:35 p.m Rabbit on the Run appears) Sounds crazy, but we randomly check out one prank call a day. Today, the rabbit beats out... "Downtown Riot." (... Was that supposed to be a pun? The cop turns the siren on) (Chuckles) Pranksters.

(Scene goes to E.B. playing the drums while sirens approach him.)

(Cop gets out of car)

Cop: Well, well, well. Look what we have here!

(People go away)

E.B.: Uh, is there a problem, officer?

Cop: You tell me. I'm in pursuit of a drum-playing rabbit on the run. You wouldn't happen to know where I'd find one, would you?

E.B.: You mean that guy?

(Scene goes to blue energizer bunny running from his feelings .)

Cop: What the--?! That's him!

(Scene goes to cop chasing the bunny)

Cop: (Panting) Man, that guy keeps going and going and going.

(Scene goes to Cop back in car.)

(4:15 P.M. CONTINUING RABBIT INVESTIGATION)

Cop: Turns out that wasn't him after all. But if he's from out of town, I bet I know exactly where he's headed.

Cop: Yep, just as I suspected, rabbit tracks.

Tinka Hessenheffer: Actually, those are Tom Cruise's footprints.

Cop: Huh?

(Scene backs out and shows Hollywood, bus passes by with passengers cheering)

Tinka Hessenheffer: Could you take my photo with them?

Cop: Oh. Um, sure.

(Cop takes picture)

Tinka Hessenheffer: (Gasp) Hey, you're not that cop from C.S.I., are you?

Cop: Yes. Yes, I am.

(Nobody cares.)

(Scene goes to night time house.)

(6:30, NOISE COMPLAINT)

Cop: Well, I didn't find the bunny, but I just got a call about some guy making a racket.

(Cop knocks on door)

Bugs Bunny: Eh, What's up, cop?

Cop: I thought you lived in the ground.

Bugs Bunny: The rent was too high, so I moved into a cul-de-sac.

Cop: Well, could you keep it do-- What the--?!

(Scene goes to E.B. playing the drums)

Cop: Freeze, rabbit! You're under arrest!

Trix Rabbit: What? This isn't cereal. Cereal's for kids! Why would I have cereal?

(I wasn't kidding when I said he needs help.)

Cop: Not you! That rabbit!

Trix Rabbit: Oh, sure, now you tell me.

(Scene goes to Cop and E.B.)

Cop: Come on, bunny, you're coming with me.

David Hasselhoff: Oh, no, he isn't.

Cop: David Hasselhoff?

David Hasselhoff: This music is amazing!

Julian Casablancas: Wow. Thanks so much!

David Hasselhoff: Not you guys, I mean the rabbit, you guys are just stealing music from the seventies.

Cop: Oh, stealing music from the seventies, are you?

(The Strokes run out the door)

David Hasselhoff: Son, I'm gonna put you on my reality talent show.

Cop: Not so fast, this hare is coming with me!

David Hasselhoff: Not if I can help it.

(David puts cop to the ground.)

Cop: Uhh!

David Hasselhoff: Run, E.B.

E.B.: I can't get loose.

(David gives the cop a knuckle sandwich KO, which causes blackout)

(Scene resumes to cop who is badly damaged)

Cop: Yes, technically, the rabbit got away. But clearly I'm the lucky one, two, three, four.

(Segment ends with cop playing with E.B.'s SEVERED LEGS on Stroke's drums while people cheer.)

(Scene begins at Ninja Academy.)

(UHH!)

Naruto: Hokage, why am I being punished?

Hokage: Naruto, you have defaced historic monuments...

(Scene goes to Hokage Monument with writing on it.)

(UHH!)

Naruto: I didn't!

Hokage: You have failed your ninja training...

(Scene goes to Naruto as a turtle being punched by a ninja turtle.)

(UHH!)

Naruto: I haven't!

Hokage: And you skipped class to see that dopey Justin Bieber movie!

Naruto: I..... wouldn't.

(Scene goes to theater)

Naruto: How does he play so many instruments?

(Scene resumes back to Academy)

Naruto: CURSE YOU, FLASHBACKS!!

Hokage: Naruto, until you learn what it takes to be a true Hokage, you are banished to the only place tolerant of obnoxious, self-entitled brats like yourself.

(Scene goes to East Bevery High School.)

(UHH!)

Naruto: Beverly Hills?

(Title card: Naru210)

Naruto: This isn't so bad.

Adriana Tate-Duncan: What's up, jerk?

Navid Shirazi: Wow, here for 5-seconds and you're already dating Adriana.

Erin Silver: How could you? I thought we had something special.

(Erin drops Naruto)

Naruto: Wait. What? Who's? Huh?

(Teddy's car pushes Naruto)

Teddy Montogomery: You're blocking my garage, dummy.

(Teddy opens the garage hidden in the lockers.)

Teddy Montogomery: Hey, butler man, you finished my homework?

Butler Man: As you requested, Master Teddy.

(Bell rings and Teddy closes garage, causing Naruto to fall down)

Naruto: Girlfriends? Drama? In-school garage butlers? This place is awesome! But why did the Hokage send me here?

(Scene goes to bulletin board)

Naruto: "Learn to be a better person." "Humility now." "Help others." That's it, Prom King! The only way to become a Hokage is to become Prom King today!

Navid Shirazi: The prom is tomorrow.

Naruto: To become Prom King tomorrow!

(Scene goes to prom night with "Rock music playing")

(Naruto poofs up out of nowhere next to Navid)

Navid Shirazi: Where have you been?

Naruto: I have spent the day (Scene goes dramatic) practicing my agility, focusing my will, and summoning my inner strength.

Navid Shirazi: Preparing to fight?

(Scene stops being dramatic)

Naruto: No, tying this bowtie.

(UHH!)

(Teddy's car comes through the door)

Teddy Montogomery: I'm here to accept my crown as Prom King.

Naruto: Not so fast, Teddy. I, Naruto, hereby challenge you to the bestowment of prom king.

Teddy Montogomery: The only words I understood were "Prom" and "King." But if you're looking to fight, then you're on.

(All gasp)

Naruto: Very well. I can summon an army of clones to increase my fighting ability 100 fold.

(Naruto uses Shadow Clone Jutsu)

People from Crowd: Who is that kid? Is he new here?

Teddy Montogomery: Yes, well, I can buy them all tickets to Everclear.

2 Naruto Clones: You can?

Teddy Montogomery: It's not that hard, really.

Naruto: Then I guess we fight one on one. Yah!!

(Naruto begins to fight Teddy)

(Scene moves away)

Woman: Why does the Naruto fights always happen off screen?

Camera Man: Huh? Oh, sorry. I get distracted easily. Better get back to Naruto.

(Scene gos back to a badly damaged Naruto and Teddy)

Camera Man: Uh-oh. What happened?

Teddy Montogomery: I've seen Kung Fu Panda 27 times.

Ryan Matthews: Hey, everyone, the votes are in, (Drumroll) and your new Prom King is...Naruto. Wait, Naruto?

Teddy Montogomery: But how's that possible? My agent said this was a lock.

Naruto: My clones may have bad taste in music, but at least they never forget to vote.

(Scene goes to the Naruto clones)

Teddy Montogomery: What about the Everclear concert?

Naruto Clone: We're in no rush. The opening act is Kellie Pickler.

Ryan Matthews: Well, congratulations, Naruto. (Drumroll begins again) And now your new Prom Queen is...also Naruto?

Naruto: Did I mention I can transform into a woman?

Ryan Matthews: Yeah, now you're just getting greedy. (Teddy appears.) Uh, your nose is bleeding.

(UHH!)

(Scene ends and goes to Credits.)