Project Mandy

Huh. For a bunch of college kids, this fashion show's really impressive.

Why? 'Cause they make clothes?

8-year-olds do this in sweatshops every day.

I'm enjoying the heck out of this, Mike.

Music, colors, spectacle.

Ever since you opened up that pot shop, the whole world's just one big Pink Floyd laser light show to you, isn't it?

I just sell the marijuana. I don't use it.

If I want to get dizzy, I'll climb a flight of stairs.

Kyle. Kyle!

You can zip her up. If you were zipping her down, maybe I would have a problem.

It's okay. I'm good at doing this with my eyes closed.

I help my grandma get dressed all the time.

Eve, why aren't you dressed? We're up next.

Yeah. Small problem.

There's a mirror in there.

I-I'm not wearing this in public.

Come on. You can pull this off.

I know. I just did.

You can give me something else to wear or eight of these sewn into a burka.

This is why Tim Gunn would call a "Make it work" moment.

Eve, look.

I know that you aren't that into fashion, but you are the kind of model every designer dreams of.

Really? Yes. You have the body of a 12-year-old boy.

Keep talking and I'll have the head of a 19-year-old sister.

You said that you would help me with this.

If you don't, I'm gonna fail the class.

Fine.

According to the program, Mandy's up next.

And we can get a pretty sweet discount from a local print shop.

Announcer: Now here's a collection from freshman designer Mandy Baxter.

Why do they always look so angry?

Maybe they took Denver in the super bowl.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, now I'm angry.

I'd be pretty angry, too, if I hadn't eaten since I was 9.

Come on. It's the style.

They're supposed to look fierce.

That's not fierce.

The Viet Cong were fierce.

Fierce is angrier, meaner, more like, uh... That.

[ Gasps ]

[ Kristin laughs ]

What have they done to my son?

Vanessa: Eve looks amazing.

It's been so long since I've seen her legs without shin guards.

Watch those high heels. Don't roll your ankle. Eve!

You got a soccer game on Saturday.

Designer Mandy Baxter.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Well, feminism has come full circle.

50 years ago, women went to college so they wouldn't have to sew.

I was really impressed with Mandy's designs.

I always knew there was something going on in that pretty little head of hers.

I always pictured a wind-up monkey playing cymbals.

And, Evie, wow!

Honey, honey, you were like a real runway model.

Yeah. I'm gonna go take a shower.

I wonder which body scrub is best for washing away shame.

Hello, everyone. Ah, here she is!

Bravo, Mandy.

Honey, God, your collection was so fresh and original. Thank you.

You really did a good job. Thanks, dad.

You know, I could see myself rocking one of these cute little rompers.

Yeah. You know, it's just that they're, um, well, they're rompers, not mom-pers.

I'm trying to build a brand now.

You know, somebody might see you.

Fine. I'll just wear the competition's clothes, then.

Oh, would you? That would be great, actually.

You know, you better take it easy on your mom.

This will happen to you one day.

Hey! [ Laughs ]

Yeah, thanks for having my back.

You better watch yours while you're sleeping.

You know, Mandy, your clothes definitely got the best response.

Your... your teacher must have been super impressed.

Uh, yeah. Not impressed enough, though. She gave me a b-minus.

Really? Seriously?

Seriously. She said it was "derivative."

I guess I've seen things like this before, but, you know, then again, I'm 100.

You shouldn't let one tough teacher discourage you, okay? Yeah, I won't.

Good for you. Mm-hmm.

'Cause I'm quitting school.

What? I mean, I'm wasting my time in college.

You saw that response today.

Even you wanted one of my rompers.

I am literally turning away orders.

So if you guys need me, I will be downstairs making magic.

Did you hear what she just said?

She's talking about quitting school.

All I heard was a wind-up monkey playing cymbals. we're not gonna let her quit school.

I'm kind of with Mandy.

What does a college education even mean anymore?

Well, had you finished college, maybe you'd know.

I am just saying, a million people graduate from college every year and there are only 5,000 jobs.

What?

I'm just making stuff up like you do.

Listen.

Once Obama's out of office, there's gonna be jobs again.

Someone's sure looking forward to Hillary's economic recovery.

[ Coughs ]

What? What does she know? She's got a G.E.D.

When do you want to go downstairs and straighten out Mandy?

[ Sighs ]

When this level gets to right about here.

Hey. Oh, my God.

So, I just came up with a name for my company... Mandy Candy. [ Chuckles ]

Nope. Urban dictionary says that's a street name for crack.

So never mind. [ Chuckles ]

Mandy, honey, we're not letting you quit college.

Why not? You guys let me quit saxophone.

That was really more for us.

Okay. But hear me out. I have the whole thing figured out.

Ready? So, my tuition is $6,000, right? Mm-hmm.

So, instead of paying that, you guys should just give me $5,000 so I can start my business.

Boom! I just made you $1,000.

You're welcome. It's a no-brainer.

It certainly is.

What would you even do with $5,000?

Well, if I'm gonna make rompers, than I need to buy more materials and I can't use my credit card.

Wait. You... you maxed out your credit card?

What? No.

I'm not irresponsible, mom.

I lost it.

Um... By the way, what do you do when that happens?

I know you're supposed to, like, call the number on the back of the card, yeah?

But, like, how dumb is that?

Because I don't have the card.

Wherever the card is now, it's maxed out.

Honey, we... we can't let her ruin her credit.

We're gonna have to cancel the card and we've got to pay off all her debt.

Calm down, bernanke.

We're not gonna bail her out.

She's not too big to fail.

Well, why don't you guys just give me the $5,000 to launch my brand and then I can pay you back when I'm rich?

Or you go back to school.

As much as I hate giving up that $1,000 you found to give me.

You guys can't make me stay in school.

We can't make you?

You're in a sound-proof basement with a sewing machine.

I could make a suit out of you.

This is so unfair.

You're always telling us to follow our dreams and, like, swing for the goal posts.

I don't think anybody ever said that.

And now I finally find the one thing that I really want to do, and you won't even let me.

No, not as long as you're living here and we're paying for everything!

Are we crushing her dream?

We keep crushing them, and they keep coming up with new ones.

Here you go.

Hey, Mike Baxter here for outdoor man.

You know what's even better than making them pry a rifle out of your cold, dead hands?

Holding one in your live, warm ones.

And if you want to own this beauty, we have a special thing called a layaway plan.

Now, here's how it works.

You spa few months laying away the money.

And when you have enough, you come on down and buy the gun.

[ Chuckling ] Spending only what you have.

Oh, wow.

Crazy concept, right?

Our 30th president, Calvin coolidge, said, "there's no dignity quite so impressive as living within your means."

Now, coolidge got to the top through hard work, frugality, and the suspicious death of Warren G. Harding.

Of course, it's kind of hard to imagine people living within their means when the very government coolidge once presided over runs up his credit-card debt like the real housewives of Dubai.

"'Do buy' this, 'do buy' that.

'Doo-bye, ' fiscal responsibility."

[ Chuckles ]

So, come on down to outdoor man and drop a bundle so I can live within my means, because, trust me...

I got a big nut.

You know, Mike, the deficit is going down under Obama.

Actually, it's at its lowest point in the last five years.

Well, yeah. He saved all that money by not having security in benghazi.

Could you come over here and sign this stuff for me, please?

Yeah, of course, of course.

I did a calculation once... spent roughly 17% of my life signing documents.

That's sad.

It's sad that you took time to do that calculation.

No, it's sad that you do all that signing.

It's sad about the hair.

Everything's sad, sad, sad.

Oh, well. I'm rich, so I win.

Do you ever regret not going to college?

Did you hear me?

I'm rich. I won.

Well, though, there was this movie I saw once... made college seem like a lot of fun.

It was called "the animal house."

Mandy wants to quit going to college and start her own business.

Attagirl. A lot of successful guys didn't get their degrees...

Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg.

Name one more.

Everybody mentions those three.

Statistically, people with diplomas make more money than people that don't have them.

Maybe if bill gates had gone to college, instead of being a billionaire, he would have been a trillionaire.

That's got to haunt him.

Everything isn't about money.

Yeah, for some of us, it's about finding our bliss.

Luckily, your bliss is money.

What's Mandy's?

Fashion design.

That's a terrible bliss.

Kid should stay in school.

I beg your pardon, sirs, but I believe in Mandy's fashion career.

I mean, she's already got two major investors.

Who?

Well, I'm in for 20 big ones.

Dollars.

And her grandfather gave her $5,000.

What?

That's... that's nuts.

I know. It's a risky investment.

It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Well, looks like your dad is raking in the dough at the marijuana store, huh?

Another guy who didn't go to college.

Just because you're rich doesn't mean you're smart.

You are talking about your dad, right?

Sure.

So, are you guys letting Mandy quit school?

No way.

Your dad is pretty mad at your grandpa for sticking his nose in with her.

That's hilarious.

Dad does nothing but interfere with how Ryan and I raise Boyd.

Honey, your father feels like he's got something to teach Boyd.

Oh, yeah, sure... lotion on door knobs, plastic wrap across toilet seats.

Lotion on toilet seats.

[ Laughs ]

One time, I slid right off into the hallway.

Um, yeah, well, I can't believe grandpa bud gave Mandy 5,000 bucks.

I mean, does he remember he has three granddaughters?

You know, he sometimes even jokes that he's got four granddaughters because I look so... Young.

How's, uh, h-how's your history paper coming over there?

Great.

I'm thinking about dropping out of school and opening up a history business.

Where's my 5,000 bucks?

Nice try, but the role of school dropout in this family has already been filled.

Wow.

I... okay.

I am managing two restaurants, okay, and probably making more than you did when you started off as a geologist.

I didn't get into geology for the money.

Mm. So, was it for the fame or all the free rocks?

You can't think of college as a pathway to making money.

It's... it's about opening your world up, about allowing yourself to be astonished and excited by fascinating new...

Um, mom, mom, mom.

This ends with you being a geologist, remember?

[ Chuckles ]

Funny story.

When I first started at Ohio state, believe it or not, I thought I might want to be a paleontologist.

That's not funny or a story.

The point is, college is a time when anything can happen.

Or almost nothing.

Uh, you know, college is one way to broaden your horizons, but it may not be the path for Mandy.

Yeah, as the girl who wrote all of her high school papers, I'd have to agree with that.

Say whatever you want, but Mandy's finishing college and, Eve, so help me, so are you or I will make you into clothes.

What?

It's a threat your dad made. I... It sounded better when he said it.

Hey, dad? Dad?

Come on in, Michael.

Hey, what's with the... what's with all the geezers?

I got a retirement home three doors down.

I get a lot of foot traffic.

I'm thinking of putting in a ramp.

So, gram used to stay home to bake.

Now she stays home because she's baked.

So, I guess this is about the, uh... Five grand I gave Mandy?

Yeah, dad. It's way too much money.

Not for me these days, Mike.

People love their marijuana. Who knew?

Everybody.

Everybody knew, dad.

Well, I just hope the fad lasts.

Listen. We got a problem here because I told Mandy she couldn't quit school.

You give her money so she can quit school.

I really believe she's talented, Mike.

I was very impressed with this fashion show.

You know, every parent's nightmare is that a drug dealer will corrupt their kid.

Who would have thought that the drug dealer would be their grandfather?

She's not a kid anymore.

You're trying to control her with your money.

She's a 19-year-old girl.

What am I supposed to use? Logic?

Those things never worked with you when you were 19.

You were bull-headed and right about everything.

And I still am. And you're trying to control my kid with your money just like you tried to control me.

No! I didn't give you money so you could quit school.

I gave you money so that you could go to school so you could become an engineer.

Yeah, so I could work for your construction company. Remember that?

We needed an engineer.

We were pretty much winging the big projects.

Remember when I wanted to change majors into marketing?

Remember what you told me?

"It's a dead-end job. You'll end up homeless."

And you did.

Because you kicked me out of the house.

What's the worst thing that happens?

Mandy fails and falls on her ass.

She'll learn more from that than any college classroom.

How about this? Let me parent my own kid and you just stay out of this.

Better not buy too much of this stuff.

One of these days, it'll be your grandkids clearing out your room.

Oh, um, blanca, look.

I don't want you to treat me any differently now that I'm your boss.

Oh, don't worry, miss Mandy.

I will smile and shove all my true feelings inside like I do with all my employers.

Oh, miss Vanessa, Mr. Mike!

How's my favorite couple?

I'm not so good 'cause I'm looking for my basement.

I used to have it. It was right in this area.

Have you seen my basement? Mandy: Mm-hmm.

Your basement is now the home of Mandy Baxter fashions.

Let me give you the grand tour.

So, this over here is the photo studio.

This is the shipping center.

This is just a chair.

And this is blanca Alvarez, my minority partner.

I don't think that means what you think it means.

Oh, I'm just excited to be in on the ground floor down here below the... Ground floor.

All right. Mandy, honey, listen.

We're shutting you down.

Y-you got to give that money back to grandpa bud.

No, but I-I can't stop now.

Look at what I was able to do with it.

Now, so far, we're only on Etsy and Ebay, but I'm setting up my own website, although I've had a little bit of trouble getting the rights to the name Mandy.

It's owned by some guy named Barry Manilow.

Listen, you've done a good job down here, but you've got to give the five grand back to my dad.

I just told you I don't have it.

I had to pay off my credit-card debt and then I had to buy new materials.

These are all brand-new?

Um, no. I mean, I get them at discount stores and then I re-purpose them into my rompers.

I've got, like, 82 orders to fill.

You have 82 orders?

No. I mean, that... that's not even possible.

You've only been doing this, like... like three days.

It's not possible. [ Tablet beeps ]

Um, you're right. That number isn't accurate.

She didn't count right. Let's see. Now it's 83

[ beep ] Oh, sorry. 84.

Look, I know that this sounds crazy to you guys, but this is what I was born to do.

This is what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Honey, listen. You might think that now, but I... I mean, honestly, this reminds me of my flirtation with paleontology.

I thought that that was gonna be a good thing. Let's not go there.

You were trying to make college sound like a good thing.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

I'm leaving school to design clothes, okay?

And if that means that I have to move out to do it on my own, then I will.

No. Now you're just being stubborn.

And bull-headed.

And I like it.

You do? It's pure Baxter.

She might actually be able to pull this off. Really? You think so?

Don't fade on me now. I like your determination.

Okay, now, listen. I have never worked so hard on anything in my entire life... even my effortless smile. Hold on just a second. Listen to this.

She's got material already. She's got some orders coming in.

Maybe if she takes off one semester and she tries this... Come on.

...just to get rid of the stuff she's got.

And you're gonna help her with her business? Uh, uh... dad, please, please, please? I'll do anything. I'll even make you a minority partner.

Better not be coming out of my end.

You know what was really smart is re-purposing all this material.

It brings your capital costs down.

Distribution can be streamlined very simply.

I just think it's all about branding.

I love this.

You are already talking to me like I understand what you're saying.

[ Knock on door ]

Mr. B?

You know what? That's okay.

You just sit there. I'll get the door. It's okay.

Way ahead of you, baby.

Hi. Thank you. Wow.

More overstock from the outdoor man warehouse.

So, Mandy's making rompers from old hunting clothes?

Yeah. It's a bunch of stuff we couldn't unload, so it was either sell it to Mandy or give it to the homeless.

This way, everybody wins.

Except the homeless.

If they could scrape together the 38 bucks, no one's stopping them from buying a romper.

All right. I'll just take these downstairs.

If someone could get the basement door for me...

Or I could just get it.

[ Knock on door ]

Geez. You know, we got a front door!

Hey. I've been out front knocking for five minutes.

Oh. There's a lot of noise coming from the basement.

Probably raccoons.

This came to my office this morning.

You know anything about it?

From Mandy Baxter fashions?

That's the first installment of the loan you gave her.

It wasn't supposed to be a loan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But, you know, it teaches her a little bit of financial responsibility.

She's got to learn she can't make the check out to "grandpa."

I just wanted to help her out.

I know you did. I know... you know, make up for not supporting you back when you were in college.

It's all right, dad.

It was good that I had to pay for college.

It taught me about being responsible and how to live in a six-cylinder Gremlin.

I guess I'm just trying to grow as a person and a lot of other crap nobody used to ever have to do after they hit 60.

Why don't I just pay you back for the tuition that I didn't cover for you?

Dad, we're square.

You've done a lot for me.

Fine.

I just want you to know I got so much damn money now, I'm actually looking for things to throw it away on.

I wonder if romney will run again.

That would be throwing it away.

I love that. Just be, like, super casual. But then be like... Just like that.

Vanessa: Mike?

Hey, bud. Come here.

Come see what Mandy did with last year's hunting jackets.

Whoa. Mandy: Yeah.

It looks like you shot your pants off.

Okay, now, Eve, give me a look that says, "I am owning this romper."

Yes. Yes.

Yes!

Oh, incidentally, you can own this romper for $38.

Oh, or two for $100.

You're looking good, Eve.

Thanks, grandpa.

Um, can I have 5,000 bucks?

Sure. Dad, dad, dad, dad.

Mike: Evie, make sure you lock that gun back up. Okay.

Bet you're real proud of this kid here.

Oh, we're proud of all our girls, bud.

Mike: Yeah, she says that all the time, but now it actually may be true.

So, encouraging her to quit school wasn't so bad.

You know, I have been thinking about that. Why can't I do both?

Honey, really? You thinking about staying in school?

Yeah. I mean, U.C. Denver has some pretty interesting classes