Jailbird and Jailbunny

Daffy: And who are you? Park Ranger: I'm a park ranger. Who are you? Daffy: Oh. Uh, Darvin... Andrew...son. Park Ranger: You're coming with me. Porky: Wait, l-l-l-l-let's be reasonable. Park Ranger: Buddy, if you don't put some pants on, you're gonna be coming with me too. (Porky stands around without saying a word, unmoved by Bugs' riddle while covering his shame) Bugs: Well, if you don't like that one, I got 1,000 more. (Bugs walks away) Daffy: Would you please state your name for the court? Porky: P-P-P-P-Porky Pig. Daffy: What's the matter? Are you nervous? Porky: I'm n-n-n-not nervous. Daffy: You sure sound nervous. Porky: B-but this is what I always sou-sou-sou-sou--- Daffy: Maybe you're nervous because you're lying! Porky: B-b-b-but I'm not--- Daffy: Maybe you're lying because you don't want us to know your true identity. Porky: M-m-my (continues stuttering) Daffy: And the reason you don't want us to know your true identity is because (points his finger at Porky) YOU, SIR, ARE THE LITTERER! (there was a silence. Since there are no people in the court, Daffy makes a big gasp) Daffy: (to the judge) And a collective gasp fills the courtroom. Judge: Are you not wearing pants? (Porky looks at himself for not wearing pants and hides in shame) Daffy: Please state your name to the court. Bugs: Bugs Bunny. Daffy: Mr. Bunny, where were you on the night of November 10th? Bugs: Ummm, I'm not sure but eh, this happened on the daytime of June 1st. Daffy: Aha! How would you know that if you weren't guilty in the scene of the crime?! Ladies and gentlemen, here is your LITTERER!!! Bugs: Daffy, just pay the fine. Daffy: Hostile Witness!!! (points at Bugs) Bugs: Oh, you call this hostile? (Bugs stands and approaches Daffy at the Judge's table) This is not hostile. (pointing at Bugs while staring at him furiously) If you want hostile I'll give you hostile! (directly in front of Daffy's face) Daffy: (beside the judge) Objection!!! Bugs: (instantly) Overruled!!! Judge: That's what I say. Bugs: What?! Judge: Overruled. Daffy: Sustained! Judge: Keep this up, I'll hold you both in contempt of court. Guard: (takes picture) Name? Daffy: (nervously) Daffy Duck. (takes picture) Guard: Crime? Daffy: (nervously) Contempt of court. Guard:(takes picture) Name? Bugs: (happily) Bugs Bunny. (takes picture) Guard: Crime? Bugs: Well, some might say being too good looking. (Bugs poses as he would for a magazine cover while hip music plays) Nah, I'm just kidding. Contempt of court. Bugs: (to a guard on duty) Excuse me, what's the goal here? Are we trying to build something? Or just making rocks into smaller rocks? And will it be possible to switch places to that petuwietuwie case over there? (points at Crusher) I burn easily. Bugs: (sarcastically) Any other bold predictions? Daffy: One day, this country will send a man to the moon! Bugs: (annoyed) That's already happened. Daffy: (in great surprise) Am I... a wizard? Bugs: If you were a wizard, you'd do something about this chain. Daffy: (gets up and waves his hands over the chain) Chain break! (Bugs chuckles) Chain break! Bugs: (laughs even more) You may not be a wizard, but you sure are entertaining. Daffy: Silence! You're throwing off my wizard concentration. Chain... (lightning strikes the chain, breaking it, releasing it from their legs) Daffy: (amazed) I am a wizard. Bugs: That was lightning. Daffy: (pushes Bugs away) Ha, classic non-wizard thing to say. Now the only question that remains is: Will I be a good wizard or a bad wizard. Bad wizard! ''Beware mortals! For Daffy Duck the Wizard shall RULE THE WORLD! (a flashlight has its spotlight on Bugs and Daffy)'' Police Officer: Did you say Daffy Duck? Daffy: Daffy Duck the Wizard. Who wants to know? (a handcuff is clicked to his wrist) Police Officer: The police! You're going back to jail. ''(Daffy gets dragged and Bugs is on the police officer's arms, happy). '' Bugs: I thought you'd never find us! (they get in the police car) Daffy: (waves his hands at the police officer) Lightning strike! Lightning strike! (the police officer taps the car and the car drives away) Porky: Aw, you can stop crying, you're free! Bugs: But that's why I'm crying!
 * Park Ranger: (to Daffy) Sir, you threw a can soda into the Grand Canyon. That's littering on federal property.
 * Bugs: (reads from the joke book) Why is the Grand Canyon called the Grand Canyon? 'Cause he thought Gargantuan Canyon made him sound fat.
 * (at the trial, Porky is at the witness stand)
 * Porky: Are w-w-we d-d-done here?
 * (Bugs is on the witness stand)
 * (Bugs and Daffy getting their mug shots)
 * (Bugs and Daffy sentenced to hard and manual labor)
 * Daffy: (rambling nervously to Crusher while he glares at Daffy) You'll have to pardon my friend. The heat's getting to him. He's not used to this. He's not a hardened criminal like you. I mean, I shouldn't assume that you're a hardened criminal. But in my defense, you do have a Neanderthal-shaped head, which I normally equate with stupidity-- uh, not that you're stupid. I just mean that you look stupid. I don't mean that as an insult. I mean, some people think stupid to mean cool, like "That's a stupid car," "You've got a stupid apartment." I should stop talking. I'm just very nervous right now. I tend to ramble when I'm nervous. You know what the word "ramble" means? You're probably too stupid to know-- and here, I mean stupid-stupid, not stupid-cool!
 * (Bugs and Daffy are sleeping next to a shed. It starts to rain and it washes their color disguises)
 * Bugs: (sobbing)
 * Porky: (to Bugs, after seeing the police) Would you open that glove compartment and hand me those pants?