A Game of Cat and Mouse

Narrator: In the secret lair of Dr. Two-Brains, some spring cleaning is underway.

(Dr. Two-Brains and his henchmen are going through boxes.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ah! (pulls something out, then looks disappointed) Ugh… toss! (looks through more items) Keep… toss!

Henchman 1: Hey boss, this ray sucks the cheese off of macaroni and cheese! (He tries it out on a bowl of macaroni and cheese.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, I remember building you! Before I moved onto bigger things! Toss it!

Henchman 1: Huh! This ray says it can make mice sing! (He points it at a trio of mice, and they do a three-part harmony of “Say cheese”.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Toss it!

Henchman 1: This one says, “Only works on hair gel.”

(Two-Brains grabs it from him.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Hmm… I always sport the dry look! Do either of you use hair gel?

(The Henchman 1 removes his red cap, revealing a head full of curly, well-groomed hair.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Impressive! And now hold still…

(He shoots something resembling a yellow hair net, which molds itself around the henchman’s hair. After a few seconds, it turns the hair gel into cheese.)

Henchman 1: Hey, my hair feels all funny!

Dr. Two-Brains: Yepper! That new  texture  you’re feeling is-- (sniffs) -- cream cheese!

Henchman 1: Huh? You mean--

Dr. Two-Brains: That’s right! This ray turns hair gel into cream cheese!

(The henchmen dip their fingers in it and taste.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha! We could have some fun with this one, boys! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Scene: WordGirl’s spaceship hideout.)

Narrator: The next day, at the WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face Secret Spaceship Hideout… Wow! That is a mouthful!

WordGirl: Ready to go patrol the city, Huggy? Word--

(Huggy chatters at her.)

WordGirl: What? We always use the hatch!

(Huggy stands in front of the bookcase.)

WordGirl: The secret exit chute? But that thing’s way too much trouble.

(Huggy removes a book from the shelf, causing it to slide up and reveal a large, winding tube. He chatters at her.)

WordGirl: Yes, I know you built it! Look, you can use it if you want, I’ll meet you outside, okay? Word UP!

(She flies out through the hatch, and Huggy jumps into his tube. After winding around through the passage, he falls unceremoniously from the other end and plops onto the ground, where WordGirl is waiting. His helmet is tilted to the side, and his uniform is rumpled.)

WordGirl: So… was it as fun as you remembered?

(Huggy gives her a less than enthusiastic thumbs up. She swoops him up and they take off. The begin patrolling through the city, with Huggy using a pair of binoculars to look for trouble.)

WordGirl: See anything?

(Huggy spots Dr. Two-Brains’ van parked in front of a cheese-shaped building. He points to it and chatters. The henchmen are standing next to the van waiting.)

WordGirl: (gasps) Those two work for Dr. Two-Brains! What are they doing outside of that bank?

Narrator: WordGirl will soon discover that it’s not just any bank-- it’s the Federal Cheddar Reserve. Filled with bricks of cheddar cheese more valuable than gold!

(Huggy points down once again.)

WordGirl: Is he combing his hair with-- a butter knife?

(Charlie sticks his finger in the other henchman’s hair and tastes.)

Narrator: Eww!

WordGirl: Eww! I guess we’d better check it out! Yuck! (flies down with Huggy)

(Scene: Inside the cheese bank. Dr. Two-Brains is standing in front of a teller, holding his hair gel ray.)

Bank teller: Hey! You can’t bring that thing in here!

Dr. Two-Brains: Say! Nice hairdo! Although it is a little cheesy! Ho-ho, hee-hee! (He fires a cheese net which lands on her hair, turning the hair gel into cream cheese,.)

Bank teller: Aaahh! My hair, you guys! (runs off)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ba-ha-ha-ha! Every hairstyle is a  weakness ! Alright boys, clean out the cheddar! Every last morsel!

(WordGirl and Huggy arrive.)

WordGirl: Hold it right there, Dr. Two-Brains!

Dr. Two-Brains: WordGirl! And Captain Sidekick Monkey! My you both look lovely today.

WordGirl: Thank-- you?

Dr. Two-Brains: Just out of curiosity, did you two use any hair gel this morning?

WordGirl: Umm, no…

(We see a brief flashback to earlier this morning, where Becky and Bob were applying gel to their hair in front of the mirror.)

WordGirl: ...Maybe a little. Why?

Dr. Two-Brains: No reason… except that well-styled hair is now a  weakness ! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(He fires off a cheese net toward WordGirl and Huggy.)

WordGirl: Take cover!

(After being hit by the web, she looks up.)

WordGirl: Well, that wasn’t so bad-- (suddenly, cream cheese begins foaming from under their helmets, covering their faces.)

WordGirl: Aahh! Something-- covering-- my-- face-- with-- strange--  texture !

(As they struggle to scrape it off of their faces, the henchmen wheel out cartloads of cheese from the vault.)

WordGirl: --Cream cheese? Eww, gross!

Dr. Two-Brains: Adios, WordGirl! I’ll be sure to send you some bagels-- for your curly "LOX". Wa-ha-ha! Bagel jokes! (takes off)

Narrator: Dr. Two-Brains has escaped with all the cheddar in the Federal Cheddar Reserve! Can WordGirl defeat his  texture -changing cream cheese ray? Was he serious about those bagels? And is there a better word to describe this episode so far than totally cheesy?

WordGirl: That’s two words. Just change scenes already, will ya? (Scrapes more cheese off of her.)

Narrator: Fine, just trying to liven things up!

(Scene: Dr. Two-Brains’ secret lair.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Excellent work, henchmen! We should have enough cheddar to last us a good long time-- (grabbing his head) oh Oh! Oh boy! Here it comes!

Henchman 1: What is it, Doc?

Dr. Two-Brains: Mouse brain-- says-- must-- have-- more-- cheese! Always-- more-- cheese!

(The henchman hands him a wheel of cheese, and he gobbles it down.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ahh. That scratched the old itch! Prepare the TV cameras, henchmen. I have an announcement to make!

(Scene: Back at WordGirl’s Spaceship Hideout. Huggy is putting more gel in his hair.)

WordGirl: Uh, Huggy? I don’t think so. Remember? Cream cheese? Ah. You know, back when the Doc was plain old Dr. Steven Boxleitner, he was a really good guy. It’s that pesky second mouse brain that causes all the problems. It must have a  weakness .

(Huggy chatters.)

WordGirl: You know, a  weakness . One particular quality that isn’t strong. A way it can be defeated.

(Huggy chatters.)

WordGirl: His old lab! Maybe he left behind a clue! Let’s check it out. Hey, and tell you what-- (rushing over to the bookcase) --I’ll even take the chute!

(She jumps in, despite Huggy’s protests. Outside the spaceship, WordGirl lands on the ground, and Huggy rushes out to her.)

WordGirl: Let me guess-- you’re fixing it. (Huggy whimpers apologetically.)

(Scene: At the former lab of Dr. Steven Boxleitner. WordGirl and Huggy land by the door. There is movement seen through a semi-opaque glass window in the door.)

WordGirl: Hmm. Looks like someone new moved in! (Knocks) Umm, hello?

(The door cracks open, and another monkey sticks its head through the opening.)

WordGirl: Oh-- uh, hi! Uh, this used to be Dr. Boxleitner’s, and I used to be a friend of his, so I was wondering if I could look arou--

(The monkey closes the door. A male voice can be heard at the door.)

Prof. Tubing: State your name.

WordGirl: Oh, sorry. I’m WordGirl, and--

Prof. Tubing: Oh, really? Well, what’s the definition of the word  texture ?

WordGirl:  Texture  is how something feels when you touch it, like sticky, smooth, or bumpy.

Prof. Tubing: Correct. What’s the opposite of a  weakness ?

WordGirl: A strength.

Prof. Tubing: Correct again! Okay, hold on.

(The door opens. A man in a lab coat comes to the door in a wheelchair, with the monkey riding behind him.)

Prof. Tubing: Come on in! Don’t be shy.

(WordGirl and Huggy enter.)

Prof. Tubing: Sorry about the quiz, but you can’t be too careful these days. Professor Robert Tubing, scientist. (Shakes hands with WordGirl) And this is my helper, Bosco. Pleased to meet you.

WordGirl: Likewise. This is my sidekick, Captain Huggy Face.

(Bosco waves.)

Prof. Tubing: Ahh. Very good. And what’s his real name?

WordGirl: Captain Huggy Face. Why does everyone always ask me that?

Prof. Tubing: (clears throat) So, you say you knew the scientist who used to work here.

WordGirl: Yes. Uh, Dr. Boxleitner was my friend, until--

Narrator: Ahem. Uh, WordGirl, mind if I handle the flashback? I am the narrator!

WordGirl: Oh! Okay. Yeah, go for it!

Narrator: Dr. Steven Boxleitner was WordGirl’s friend... until an experiment with a vicious lab mouse named Squeaky went horribly wrong, leaving him with a tiny mouse brain stuck to his head, and an evil new identity-- Dr. Two-Brains!

WordGirl: That was perfect! Thanks! (gives a thumbs up)

Narrator: Just trying to pull my weight.

Prof. Tubing: So, you probably came here to search for clues so you can find out Dr. Two-Brains’  weakness  and stop him from using the cream cheese ray again.

WordGirl: Yes, that’s exactly right! How did you know?

Prof. Tubing: Well, I’m a brilliant scientist. Also, he’s on TV.

(He points to the TV, where Two-Brains is preparing to broadcast. One of the henchmen is holding up cue cards for him to read from.)

Dr. Two-Brains: And, action! I, Dr. Two-Brains, demand every last shred of cheese stored in the government’s largest reserve, Fort Salut! And if I do not get it all by tomorrow night, I will zap every hairdo in the city with my new favorite toy-- a ray that transforms hair gel into cream cheese! You will just love the new  texture ! That is all. Say cut. Evil laugh and… walk off. Oh! Oops. Thanks. (He sidesteps off screen. Then the broadcast changes to static.)

Prof. Tubing: Oh dear! This IS serious! You’ve got to stop him by tomorrow night, WordGirl!

WordGirl: I know! But by tomorrow night? Well that doesn’t leave us much time to figure out Two-Brains’  weakness . (They all stop to ponder the situation.)

Prof. Tubing: Hmm. Have you tried… cats? All mice are afraid of cats.

WordGirl: Uh, of course we-- (laughs) cats! (chuckles nervously) I mean, of course!

Prof. Tubing: You’ve-- never tried cats, have you?

WordGirl: (admitting defeat) No.

Prof. Tubing: Hmm…

(Scene: The next evening. Two-Brains’ mouse blimp approaches the fort, while two military figures watch from the roof.)

General 1: Time is almost up, General! Have you been able to reach WordGirl?

General 2: We’re trying, General, but she’s not answering her phone. (Holds the receiver out)

Recording: Hi, you’ve reached WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face! We can’t come to the phone right now-- (giggling) --ok, together-- one, two, three-- LEAVE A MESSAGE! (Huggy chatters along with her)

General 1: Umm, drat.

(Two-Brains broadcasts from the blimp.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Alright, Generals! What’s it gonna be?

General 2: What do we do? What do we do?

General 1: Well, the style of our nation’s hair cannot be risked. Bring out the cheese!

(The door beneath them opens, and a large cart of cheese slides out.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, this is too EASY! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Prof. Tubing wheels himself up behind the generals, with Bosco behind him.)

Prof. Tubing: Uh, perhaps we could--

General 1: Hey! Who are you? And how’d you get on the base?

Prof. Tubing: Please, gentlemen! I am a man of science. And this is my monkey! --of-- science.

(They hand him a megaphone.)

Prof. Tubing: Oh, Dr. Two-Brains? Yoo-hoo! Ha, ha. It’s me, Professor Robert Tubing, the scientist who moved into your old lab?.

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, no kidding? Nice to see you again! How’s that sublet working out for you?

Prof. Tubing: It’s nice! Lots of natural light… Say, any chance of you giving up? I could see about removing that mouse brain for you.

(The aroma of the cheese reaches the blimp, and Two-Brains gets a nice whiff.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Nah. I’ve grown rather attached to it! Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha! And now, no more stalling! Hand over the cheese, or say goodbye to your up-dos!

Prof. Tubing: Well, I tried. (He picks up a WordGirl communicator.) Professor Tubing to WordGirl, come in WordGirl.

WordGirl: Go for WordGirl.

Prof. Tubing: Launch Operation  Weakness .

WordGirl: Affirmative!

General 1: Operation  Weakness ?

Dr. Two-Brains: Begin loading the cheese!

(A large vacuum descends from the blimp, and prepares to suck up the cheese. Suddenly, a loud “meow” sound surrounds the blimp.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Did you hear that?

Henchman 1: I didn’t hear anything.

(The “meow” sound repeats.)

Dr. Two-Brains: There it is again! It sounded just like a ca-- ca-- c-c-c-CATt!!

(The face of a large cat appears through the window of the blimp.)

Henchman 1: Oh boy! A kitty cat!

(We then see the other side of the “cat”, which is nothing more than a facade attached to a flying craft piloted by WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face. WordGirl is making the “meow” sounds, which are amplified through a microphone.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Giant cat! Coming right at us! Scaring pants off of mouse brain! Run for your life!

WordGirl: Oh no you don’t, Two-Brains! Now it’s your turn to get creamed! MEOW!

(Huggy presses a button. The teeth of the cat open, and clamp down on the vacuum. As the blimp rocks, the hair gel ray slides over to the door and falls out.)

Dr. Two-Brains: My ray! Oh, no!

Prof. Tubing: They did it! We won!

(The generals take off their helmets, revealing that both of them have styled hairdos.)

(A little later on the ground, Two-Brains and the henchmen are tied up and sitting in the bed of a military truck, with guards watching them. The truck pulls away.)

General 1: You’ve saved the day again, WordGirl! Thanks to-- that thing.

Prof. Tubing: We call it the Katzenjammer!

General 1: Yeah, okay. Well, anyway, thanks again! Alright, the cheese goes back inside! On the double, let’s go!

WordGirl: Thanks for everything, Professor Tubing! We couldn’t have done it without you!

Prof. Tubing: You weren’t so bad yourself, kiddo! So, see you next week for a monkey playdate? (laughs) Just kidding. But, don’t be a stranger. Okay?

WordGirl: Okay.

Narrator: And so, WordGirl finds Dr. Two-Brains’  weakness  and saves our city’s hair gel from turning to the creamy yet gross  texture  of cream cheese. And a good thing too, I have a date tonight! So remember, if you have a  weakness  for action and adventure, tune in next time for another episode of-- WordGirl!

(During the closing scene, WordGirl and Huggy are shown eating bagels with cream cheese.)