Franken Berry Distraught

'''[Frankenberry enters his house sobbing. Frankberry's parents are sitting in the living room. His mom is knitting while his dad is reading his newspaper.]'''

Frankenberry's Mom: Frankie? Sweetie?

Frankenberry: Oh Mumsy! Oh Daddums!

Frankberry's Dad: Oh, God. [Continues reading]

Frankenberry: Phillip and I... we had a fight! A terrible, terrible fight! And he... he broke up with... meeeee! [Sobs and collapses on the sofa]

Frankenberry's Dad: [Looks up] Maybe if you try dating a girl for once...

Frankenberry's Mom: [Comforts Frankenberry] Frank, be nice.

Frankenberry's Dad: Nice? Nice is a father who wants his son to have the best of everything, and digs through fresh graves for two weeks... TWO WEEKS TO FIND A BIG, THICK, VEINY PENIS TO GIVE HIM! AND THEN YOU GO AND PUT THE HEART OF A LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL IN HIS CHEST!

Frankenberry's Mom: I wanted him to have some sensitivity, unlike his father. [Continues comforting Frankenberry] I'm so sorry, sweetie. Is there anything we can do?

Frankenberry: Oh, Mumsy! He said he never wanted to talk to me again!

Frankenberry's Dad: And if you were a real man, you woulda ripped off his lower jaw so he couldn't talk to you or anyone else... ever!

Frankenberry: Oh, Daddums...

Frankenberry's Dad: Dad! Call me Dad! Or Pops! Or Pa! The Old Man! Anything! Frank! But for the love of God-

Frankenberry's Mom: Stop that, Frank! Can't you see he's in pain?

Frankenberry's Dad: A pitchfork in the chest, that's pain okay? Somebody lighting your nuts on fire, that's pain.

Frankenberry's Mom: Emotional pain.

Frankenberry's Dad: Oh.

[The door opens and Phillip the Yummy Mummy enters, looking upset.]

Phillip: Hi, Mr. Frankenstein.

Frankenberry's Dad: [Walks away] Oy...

Phillip: Is Frankenberry home?

Frankenberry: [Walks over to Phillip] Phillip?

Phillip: Frankie, I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean all those things I said. There's, there's just been so much-

Frankenberry: Oh Phillip, I don't care. I don't want to lose you. You're my Yummy Mummy.

[Phillip and Frankenberry hug each other and cry.]

Frankenberry's Dad: Ugh. Alright, I'm going upstairs to take a shit. Maybe I can mold some sort of a real son out of that! [Walks away]

[Cue static]