Eggscellent

(Episode begins with Mordecai and Rigby watching a TV show)

Manetti: You'll never take me, Easton! You put me in jail, I'll just escape!

Easton: Escape this, Manetti. (flips car)

Rigby: Dude, didn't he flip a car in the last episode?

Mordecai: He flips a car in every episode."Hey, bus full of grade schoolers, learn this."

(He makes sounds for flipping the bus.They start laughing, and Benson walks in.)

Benson: Hey, come on you two, you're supposed to be working.

Rigby: We're on our lunch break.

Mordecai: Uh yeah, what he said.

Benson: Yeah, it really looks like you're eating up a storm there. Come on, let's go. (Mordecai and Rigby groan)

Mordecai: Yeah, yeah, we're going. (Mordecai is about to turn off the TV)

Rigby: Wait, look.

(A commercial for the Eggscellent Challenge is on the TV)

Narrator: Only once every thousand years does an eating challenge appear with the ability to blow everyone away. The Eggscellent Challenge is that challenge. Twelve eggs, chili, cheese, biscuits and a fruit bowl. Finish in under an hour and your party eats for free. And you win this hat that says "I'm Eggscellent" on it. That's right, finish the omelet and get the coolest hat ever invented for free. Many have tried, none have succeeded, could you be the first to slay the dragon and be eggscellent.

Man: Yeah, yeah!

(Commercial ends)

Rigby: Dude, we have to win that hat.

Mordecai: Ha, yeah right. Dude, did you see the size of that omelet? No one will ever win that hat.

Rigby: Aw come on! Did you see how awesome that hat was? It was a net hat.

Mordecai: Dude, those aren't even cool anymore.

Rigby: Yes they are! Truckers wear them all the time. It's got air holes in the back to keep a cross breeze going and everything.

Mordecai: Alright, fine it's cool. But seriously a twelve egg omelet, why don't you just buy the hat?

Rigby: That doesn't make a cool story. Hey, where'd you get that hat? I bought it. Why does it say "I'm Eggscellent" on it? Oh it doesn't matter cause I just payed for it with money! Plus why would you buy it anyway when you can get it for free?

Mordecai: Yeah but the omelet probably costs more than...

Rigby: Dude forget it! You wanna order a measly two egg breakfast, that's fine by me. But when you finish and you're still hungry, don't come crying to me cause I ain't sharin'.

Mordecai: Yeah but...

Rigby: Shubaboo!

Mordecai: But...

Rigby: Sleepypoo!

Mordecai: Ugh, alright fine. We'll go to that stupid restaurant. I hate it when you talk like that.

Rigby: Maybe we.

(Scene cuts to the Eggscellent resturant)

Waiter: Have you decided?

Mordecai: Uh I'll take the Eggs Benedict and an orange juice. (hands the waiter his menu)

Rigby: And I'll have the Eggscellent Challenge. (hands the waiter his menu)

Waiter: Oh, I wouldn't recommend the Eggscellent Challenge, it's more of a promotional item.

Rigby: Yeah and it's the only reason we're here so...

Waiter: Sir, i-it's really just...

Rigby: OK hold on, hold on, I'm confused. I'm the customer right?

Waiter: Well yes.

Rigby: What does the sign say over there?

(sign in the distance reads 'The Customer Is Always Right' near the entrance)

Waiter: Uh, the customer is always right.

Rigby: And what am I?

Waiter: The customer.

Rigby: And the sign?

Waiter: Sir, please.

Rigby: Say it.

Waiter: The customer is always right.

Rigby: Hm hm hm.

Waiter: What would you like sir?

Rigby: Bring me the omelette.

(Scene goes to an ambulance)

Mordecai: Dude, you're allergic to eggs?!

Rigby: (weakly) I thought if I ate really fast, maybe I wouldn't notice. I just really wanted that hat. Did I win it?

Mordecai: Dude, you didn't even come close.

Rigby: Mordecai, promise me that whatever happens, you'll get me that hat.

Mordecai: What?

Rigby: Please, just promise you'll get the hat for me.

Mordecai: Okay, I promise.

Rigby: You're a good friend. (passes out)

Mordecai: Rigby? RIGBY!? (gently shakes Rigby) WAKE UP!

Paramedic #1:(to Mordecai) Get back! ( pushes Mordecai back, and yells to Paramedic # 2) Punch it, we're losing him!

(Paramedic #1 preforms CPR (Cardiopulmonary resuscitation) on Rigby while the camera dramatically zooms on to Mordecai. Scene goes to the hospital.)

Doctor: Your friend Rigby's in a coma because of an allergic reaction his body had to the eggs. Unfortunately, due to the large quantity of eggs that he consumed, there's a strong chance that he may never wake up again.

Benson: Is there anything we can do?

Doctor: All we can do is wait. I'm sorry. (exits the room)

Benson: (turns to Mordecai) Well, I hope you've learned something from all of this.

Mordecai: What?

Benson: Maybe if you've been working like you were supposed to, none of this would've happened.

(Mordecai punches Benson in the face, and everyone cries out in shock. Muscle Man and Skips hold Mordecai back; Pops and Hi Five Ghost hold Benson back.)

Benson: Mordecai, what are you doing?!

Mordecai: What's your problem?! This has nothing to do with work! He just wanted the hat!

Benson: And look where it got him! (points to Rigby) Your friend over there is only going to get you into trouble!

Mordecai: (laughs harshly) Right, take advice from Benson about friends, since you've got soooo many of 'em.

Benson: I have friends.

Mordecai: No you don't. Everyone only hangs out with you because you're our boss! Rigby only wanted to try and win a hat. He doesn't deserve to be in a coma because of it. (walks towards the door)

Benson: Where are you going?!

Mordecai : Back to the restaurant.

Benson: Why?!

Mordecai: Because I made a promise to Rigby and I'm gonna keep it. That's what friends do for each other. (exits)

Muscle Man: Awkward.

(cuts to the resturaunt.)

Mordecai : What do you mean it's not for sale?!

Waiter : I mean it's not for sale.

Modecai: Look, my friend really wanted this hat, and now he's in a coma from trying to finish your challenge. Come on, you've got to be able to make an expection.

Waiter: Sir, I'm sorry about your friend. Really, I am, but I can't just sell you the hat. It's out of my control.

Mordecai: (groans) Then give me the omelette.

Waiter: Sir, please don't.

Mordecai: Give me the omelette.

Waiter: (brings Mordecai the omelette and sets the timer) Go! (Mordecai attempts but fails when timer rings) Time is up, sir.

Mordecai: Sell me the hat.

Waiter: I'm sorry sir. The hat is not for sale.

Mordecai: AUUUUGHHHHHHHH! (throws omelette at the wall) Forget this place. (The waiter shakes his head and the scene goes to the hospital) I'm sorry Rigby, I couldn't do it. (Benson and Skips appear for a sudden.) Huh? Oh, what are you doing here?

Benson: Look, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. It was a stupid thing to say, and I didn't mean it.

Mordecai: THGH! Yeah.

Benson: You know, there might be a way to win that hat.

Mordecai: What? What are you talking about?

Benson: Tell him Skips.

Skips: (narrating) A long time ago, I knew a guy by the name of Jonathan Kimble. (transits to backstory) He used to work in park and just like Rigby, he was obsessed with the hat. His drive for the hat was relentless. Breakfast Lunch, Dinner. The omelet was the only thing he would ever eat. He kept a journal, and kept tracking every advantage he could find that would help him on his quest for the hat. One day, he was really excited. He just kept saying, "I figured it out! I figured it out!" He left to attempt it, but he never came back. (transits back to the present.)

Mordecai: So, what happened?

Skips: I don't know.

Mordecai: What do you mean? Didn't you go to the restaurant?

Skips: None of us did. He failed so many times, none of us thought he would ever do it.

Mordecai: Why are you guys telling me all this?

Benson: Because, we got his notebook out of his old locker. (hands Mordecai Jonathan's notebook) It looks like he figured out how to finish the omelet. (Mordecai flips through the notes) If you're willing to take the risk, you could win the hat for Rigby.

Mordecai: Let's do this.

(scene shows the park gang helping Mordecai train for the Eggscellent challenge while track "Holding Out A Hero" by Bonnie Tyler plays. Next scene shows Benson, the gang and Mordecai driving to the restaurant in the golf cart)

Mordecai: This isn't gonna be easy

Benson: Just stick to the training. You can do it.

(Everyone gets out of the golf cart)

Mordecai: Hey Benson, sorry about what I said before. Even though you're a jerk most of the time, you're still a good friend.

Benson: Just get in there and win that stupid hat for Rigby.

(The waiter is standing at the counter whistling and writing down something on a piece of paper. He leaves off to the restaurant dining room and approaches Mordecai reading the menu)

Waiter: Oh, good morning sir. Are you ready to order?

Mordecai: The Eggscellent challenge please.

Waiter: Sir, while I am contractually bound by the laws of this restaurant to bring you the omelet, I highly suggest ordering something else.

Mordecai: Bring me the omelet.

(Waiter brings the Eggscellent challenge to Mordecai's table and sets the timer)

Waiter: Good luck.

Mordecai: Thanks.

(Waiter walks away and Mordecai proceeds doing the challenge. The waiter looks at Mordecai surprised that Mordecai knows the strategy to winning the challenge)

Waiter: No, don't (walking back to Mordecai but Benson pushes him back)

Benson: Eh. (Muscle Man, High Five Ghost and Skips are behind Benson) Let him finish.

(The waiter whistles and the restaurant staff come in and stand behind the waiter)

Waiter: Step aside.

Muscle Man: Why don't you make us bro?

(Staff start fighting with the park members)

Benson: Keep them away from Mordecai!

(Park members and staff fight each other and prevent them from attacking Mordecai, as Mordecai is finishing the Eggscellent challenge. The timer goes off when Benson trips over the waiter nearby Mordecai's table)

Waiter: (getting up by the table) Sorry sir, time is.. up?

(view of Mordecai and the empty plate, bowl and glass)

Waiter: Oh no. We were only trying to help!

Mordecai: What?

(Benson, Skips, Muscle Man, High Five Ghost and the waiter look at Mordecai as he teleports to a mysterious room filled with hats)

Mordecai: What the...? (the Eggscellent Knight appears and Mordecai is startled) Where am I?

Knight: You have made it to the final test of the Eggscellent Challenge. Choose your prize, but take heed, for if you choose incorrectly, you will die.

(Knight points to Jonathan Kimble, who is a skeleton wearing the incorrect Eggscellent hat, which is a crown)

Mordecai: Jonathan Kimble.. (Mordecai looks at all the hats) How am I gonna choose? Which one is it?

Rigby (faded head and flash back voice): It was a net hat. Truckers wear them all the time. It's got air holes in the back to keep a cross breeze going and everything.

Mordecai: (gasps) That looks like the hat of a trucker.

(Mordecai picks up the net hat and the Knight is looking at Mordecai as he slowly puts it on his head and doesn't die)

Knight: Your choice... is eggscellent!

(Mordecai teleports back to the restaurant. The Knight walks over to a door and opens it, revealing a stock of Eggscellent net hats and places one in the huge variety of hats. Scene changes to the hospital. The park members are in Rigby's hospital room and Mordecai puts the net hat on Rigby's head)

Rigby: You won the hat for me.

Mordecai: Yeah man, but I couldn't have done it without some help.

Rigby: Thanks guys. (gasps) LOOK!

(An advertisement on TV appears for a steak eating challenge at the Steak Unvierse)

Narrator: Do you like steak?

2 men on TV with cutlery and plates: Yeah!

Narrator: Well then come on down to the Steak Universe. If you and a friend can finish our 96 ounce steak and eggs in under an hour, we'll give you 2 free t-shirts that say 'Raise the Steaks'. RAISE THE STEAKS! Freee. So remember when you need steak, come on down to the Steak Universe.

Rigby: Dude, I'll eat the steak if you eat the eggs.

Benson: Do you think if we take that hat off him he'll go back into a coma?

Mordecai: Only one way to find out.

(The gang walk up to Rigby to take his hat off)

Rigby: Noo!

[End of Eggscellent]