D'Arby the Gambler Part 1

Act 1 (DUBBED)
Joseph: W-Was that you? Were you the one who said that? Do you actually know where the building is?

Gambler: Yes. The exact location of the building in question is information readily available to me.

Joseph: (excited) Are you serious? That's incredible!

Avdol: What remarkable news!

Polnareff: Amazing! What are the odds that we would stumble upon someone who knows exactly where the building is?

Joseph: Well, don't keep us in suspense. Where's it located?

(The gambler flips the two heart card so they all flip up at once)

Gambler: Are you really expecting something for nothing?

Joseph: Eh, yes, you bring up a good point. My apologies. 10 lbs for your help? Now then, where is it?

Gambler: (laughs; draws his ace card) Thing is, I'm something of a gambling man. I've been known to be a sucker for cheap thrills, and some would even go so far as to say I'm an addict. However, when all's said and done, gambling's how I make my living. Tell me, any of you boys like to gamble?

Joseph: (losing his patience) I'm not sure I fully understand what you're trying to get at!

Gambler: I thought I'd laid it out plainly. If you don't like gambling, then say so.

Joseph: (impatient) For the last time, I have no idea where you're going with this!

Gambler: Oh, all right. What I'm asking is if you and your friends would like to play a little game. Win, and I'll tell you the location of your building. It's as simple as that.

Joseph: A bet? Look friend, I'm as lucky as the next guy, but I'm afraid that we don't have time for poker right now! If I throw in another 20 lbs, will you tell us?

Gambler: No need to worry. A bet can be anything after all. It won't take very long. (looks behind him) For example: take a look at that wall over there. Do you see that cat? So, two pieces of dried fish. Question is, which of the two will the cat eat first? The right one or the left one? I must say there's something thrilling about its simplicity.

Polnareff: (furiously; puts his fists on the gambling table) I've had just about enough of your games, so take the money, and tell us what we wanna know, you bastard!

D'Arby: Now, now, I wouldn't be so quick to lash out if I were you. I know you desperately want to kill me, but if I die, Polnareff will meet the same end.