Mo' Linguish

(Opening shot: the city skyline during the day.)

Narrator: The city of Townsville! A succinct city where simple questions are given simple answers.

(Cut to a high court "Hall of Justice", where a judge slams his gavel, ending Mojo's case, charged as guilty.)

Judge: Guilty.

Mojo Jojo: What?! I object! Which is to say that I do not agree with which is that you say, which is incorrect, lacking proper knowledge of the truth, and WRONG. (points in anger) Furthermore―(Mojo gets silenced.)

Judge: (Slams gavel again) ORDER! Due to your obvious failure for rehabilitation, I have decided that the best form of punishment is for you to give back to the community from which you have taken soo much.

Mojo Jojo: Must I pick up garbage?

Judge: (Slams gavel) You, Mojo Jojo, are hereby sentenced to teaching a knowledge extension course at Townsville Community College.

(Mojo stands in his spot, awestruck negatively.)

Mojo Jojo: Nooooooooooo!!! By which I mean, I cannot do it.

(Straight cut to the Community College, where a poster on the wall shows a burger-flipper with the caption, "LEARN GOODER ENGLISH! (ME DID!) AT: TOWNSVILLE LEARNING ANNEX!" Mojo, dressed in a gray business jacket and a tie, bursts through the door grumpily and stalks to his desk. He takes a seat in his chair and the students stare at him. He stares back and looks coldly around.)

Mojo Jojo: Hello, and good evening to you. I am Mojo Jojo, your instructor, and the person who will be teaching you from this point forward. That is to say, (fixes up papers) that as you are here representing the students of the class, I am here representing the teacher of the class, and as it is my job to teach, it is your job to learn. And learning, gain more intelligence that you currently have. Now, what are the names or individual identifications that have been assigned to the lot of you?

(Cut to French student' . )

Phillip: (French accent) Phillip.

Talia: (Talian accent) Talia.

(Cut to another pair of students.)

Enrique: (Hispanic accent) Enrique.

Nadia: (Slavic accent) Nadia.

Ernst: (German accent) Ernst.

Ming: (Chinese accent) Ming.

(Camera travels around the room to the last lot of students.)

Farouk: (Middle Eastern accent) Farouk.

(Camera travels back to Mojo.)

Mojo Jojo: I see. Now as teacher and thus assigner of the grades in this class, if I were to be performing said grading right now at this moment, let me tell you that... (messes up papers) None of you pass!

(All the students gasp in horror and Ming faints. The other students look at Ming, still shocked. The camera goes back to Mojo.)

Mojo Jojo: That is right. In the grading system, I would've assigned you all with an F! Which if I had control of the grading system, I would make it the lowest grade a Z, since that is the final letter in the alphabet which starts with an A, and ends with Z. But instead, the letter given to those who do most poorly is an F! Seeing as it goes, (points as he speaks) A, B, C, D, F, with inexplicable skipping of E! Nonetheless, after that pathetic display, all of you would get an F symbolizing failure for your poor use of English!

(Camera travels to Phillip.)

Phillip: Pardon, monsieur. (Raises hand shyly) But all you did was ask of us our names and zat is what we answered with.

(Camera travels back to Mojo.)

Mojo Jojo: Yes, and that is wrong because it is boring, and uninteresting, and thoroughly bringing me about to a state of unconciousness! From those simple, pathetic names I learn ''nothing. ''I am here to teach you proper English, and with that, you are to learn proper, descriptive, and defining skills! Now let us try this again. (Looking over his shoulder) Tell me your names!

Phillip: (Looks left and right) Ummm... my name is Phillip, which is to say zat upon my birth, my parents Jean-Paul and Camille place upon me zis title which identifies me as me and separates me from all the others?

Mojo Jojo: Excellent! (Phillip's expression springs in joy) Next.

Talia: Sì. I am called Talia after my aunt Tali which is shorter and more, um, casual version of Talia, often referred to as a nickname, which is a term of endearment and sometimes... (Clock fades from 7:00 to 9:00, as students deliver long explanations, Mojo-style, of their names.)

Farouk: My name Farouk does not trip of the tongue lightly; it is a name of substance and vigor for which I am proud and take much pride.

(Mojo applauds their long explanations of their names' . )

Mojo Jojo: Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! Now, that was some speaking, and what was spoken was spoken well. (Folds arms) Class dismissed.

(Cut to Enrique' . )

Enrique: Is the class which seemed to just start really over? As in, done?

(Cut to Mojo.)

Mojo Jojo: Yes, the two hours allotted as time for class is now finished, and the time for leaving has now begun. See you tomorrow, which is the day that will begin after the passing of tonight's midnight hour.

(Cut to city's skyline at day' . )

Narrator: The city of Townsville! A succinct city where simple questions are given simple answers, except for... what's this!

(Camera dashes to Talia and a man.)

Talia: What kind of a simple question is that to ask the woman to whom you wish to enter the state of matrimony? Your question lacks the complexity AND weight that is apropos, of such a complex and weighty matter, and thus makes me question your true, heartfelt feelings in this serious life decision.

(Man stares at Talia and blinks a few times. Camera dashes to Farouk getting a hotdog.)

Farouk: Ketchup or mustard? Do you mean, would I prefer the sweet fluid tomato flavorings? Or the smashed liquefied mustard-seed renderings enjoyed by most consumers upon the hottest of dogs?

(Farouk sassily looks at the hotdog man waiting for an answer.)

Hotdog man: Uh... yeah.

(Camera dashes to Enrique talking to a man walking to him.)

Enrique: Is that dog which you hold within the embrace of your arms also held within your ownership?

(Dog-holding man opens his mouth, but gets interrupted by Enrique.)

Enrique: By which I mean, are you the sole caregiver for this pooch that is within your personal grasp?

(Owner and dog look at each other in confusion' . )

Enrique: In other words, is that your Schnauzer?

Dog-holding man: Um, no... It's my cat in a dog suit...?

(Black background appears, with bubbles of Talia, Farouk and Enrique.)

Talia: Well, let me tell you...

Farouk: If that is your simple and painfully boring answer...

Enrique: Then you are in need of being re-educated by...

All: Mojo Jojo!

(Cut to a large group of people in Mojo's class. They chat randomly and bell rings. Mojo (no longer in a suit) enters the classroom and walks around.)

Mojo Jojo: Why is my class which was previously merely a few people now more than a few? Which equals many!

(Cut to Farouk explaining.)

Farouk: Because in our speaking of proper English around Townsville, sir Mojo, it became clear to those previously in the dark that their English was inaccurate, that they must enter the light, accepting that it is in the hearing, not om the seeing, that this light has come upon them.

Mojo Jojo: Ah, yes, good, I see... So now it begins, starts, and comes to commencement! To the masses I must now reach, and in the reaching, these classroom walls cannot confine my unending grasp!

(With that last time, Mojo's face starts to change of determination. He sneakily squints his eyes. Cut to the Powerpuff household, the hotline rings. Blossom picks it up.)

Blossom: Yes, mayor? What? Yes, but... Where?

Mayor: There is a stealing of sorts happening at the place where money is given and taken, that is to say, deposited and withdrawn, and sometimes redistributed and loaned, but currently, the taker is taking that which is not his, thus performing an act of illegality, which could result in incarceration within the confines of a penal facility, that is to say, prison, jail, hoosegow, et cetera.

Buttercup: What's he saying?

Blossom: I have no idea, but I think something bad is happening.

Buttercup: Let's go! Look! (points down)

Blossom: I don't believe it! The town's at a complete standstill.

Buttercup: But why?

Bubbles: Is there an accident?

Buttercup: All I see is that cop and that old lady.

(Camera stops panning and reaches the cop and old lady.)

Blossom: Let's check it out.

Cop: You realize that you were walking in the crosswalk after the green walking man had stopped being displayed, and when the flashing red hand had become the prominent visual.

Old lady: And while I appreciate the change in the crosswalk signage, the fact of the matter is, I am of elderly persuasion, and due to the deterioration of calcium level in my bones, my pedestrian abilities, which is to say my walking, is of a much slower pace than the average citizen of Townsville.

(Man in car bumps his head on the horn in frustration.)

Buttercup: Is this a crime?

Blossom: No, just annoying.

Bubbles: Maybe the mayor was telling you about a bank robbery.

Blossom: To the bank!

(The Girls fly to the bank at a high speed.)

Robber: The amount which I want to withdraw is not that from any bank account which I hold within a bank; in other words, I wish to take money that does not belong to me, but is instead in the ownership of others who have worked hard to gather funds for their future rainy days.

Banklady: But what I am asking you is, do you have an account which I can access, and, if so, what are the numerical digits for me to properly type upon the keyboard to tap into the computer system which allows me permission into all the fund-related requests.

Robber: And what you are failing to understand is that I do not have said accounts since I am not a patron of this fine establishment except to take from it that which is not mine.

Bubbles: Is this a stickup?

Blossom: Seems more like a stuck-up.

Buttercup: What the heck is going on here?

(Girls fly to a large billboard with Mojo's face on it.)

Mojo Jojo: And so I, Mojo Jojo, impart upon you the empowerment of Mo' Linguish.

Girls: Mo' Linguish?!

Buttercup: (points) There's the crime!

Mojo Jojo: And with this power, you no longer speak in brief, boring, abbreviated sentences; but instead will WOW the crowds with your scintillating usage of an overabundance of nouns, verbs, adjectives, pronouns, prepositions, and of course, the conjunction junctions, which have a multiple of functions. With the skill of Mo' Linguish, the world, which was previously not yours to be taken, will be at your fingertips!

Blossom: That's it!

Buttercup: He's done it!

Bubbles: (Mojo voice) Mojo has managed to bring Townsville to a complete standstill, by having all of the people speak in the most lengthy of questions, and redundantt of answers? Thus nothing can be asked or answered without the verbosity of words, causing the city to come to a permanent and most painful halt, furthermore―

Buttercup and Blossom: Bubbles!

Bubbles: Sorry!

Blossom: We've got to re-program Townsville, bringing the speech patterns back to normal. Come on!

(The Girls fly off to start.)

Blossom: Ma'am, officer? All this can be solved by you briefly stating your point, and moving on.

Cop: But if I were to speak briefly, it would mean that I did not speak all that I wish to have spoken, meaning that I would not fully express myself to the fullest and thus spoken in too small of a sentence to properly satisfy.

Old lady: And if I simply said "yes" or "no", the reasonings behind that "yes" or "no" would be unheard and unvoiced, and un-pontificated, thus leaving me with a feeling of stifled combustion that would be ready to explode.

Buttercup: Aw, this isn't going to work!

Bubbles: (Mojo voice) Certainly not, if our wishes to remedy this situation which is currently lacking closure―

Buttercup and Blossom: Bubbles!

[Error: Blossom's center of her bow is miscolored to blue.]

Blossom: Someone has to re-teach them.

Buttercup: (Mojo voice) But do we know whose English is good enough to reverse the effects of Mo' Linguish and retrain all these people to speak properly, thus eliminating the circular pattern in which they are speaking? Darn it! Now I'm doing it!

Blossom: I can think of only one in Townsville who has that power.

(Straight cut to a classroom with a man talking and the people answering.)

Talking Dog: Now, repeat after me, the color of the sky is...?

People: Blue.

Talking Dog: The color of the grass is...?

People: Green.

Talking Dog: The stop sign on the street is...?

People: Red.

Talking Dog: Very good. Now, let's move on to numbers. A dozen is...?

People: Twelve.

Blossom: This is going well.

Bubbles: Do you think Mojo is really learning his lesson?

Blossom: Oh, I think he's learning quite a bit.

(Background: Your face has how many eyes?)

(Background: Two.)

(Cut to room where Mojo is tied up and Buttercup is guarding him, with a range of television screens facing him.)

Talking Dog: The Easter Bunny hides...?

Mojo Jojo: Eggs. (Shakes uneasily) Which are generally regular eggs which have been boiled in the hottest of water and then decorated in a vinegar-based dye by placing― (Buttercup punches him) Ow!

Buttercup: Keep it brief, buddy.

Mojo Jojo: Eggs.

(The standard end shot comes up. This time, the narrator teases the girls with Mojo's speech pattern.)

Narrator: And so, once again, the day is saved, because it was a day that was in need of being saved, due to the previously unsaved nature of the day. Thanks and in most humble gratitude, and that is saying, in much appreciation, to the Powerpuff Girls!

Girls: Enough already!

Narrator: Sorry; my most humble apologies; please forgive me. As the narrator, that is to say, teller of the story, I feel like I must provide a snappy button, that is, a concluding phrase, to each one of your action-packed adventures.

Girls: Quiet!