Cuddles Fabric Softener

(A man appears in a laundry room, holding a shirt.)

Man: My clothes are soft, but they're not hugably soft.

(Cuddles appears from the basket of clean clothes.)

Cuddles: Leave it to me!

(The man is shocked.)

Cuddles: Being hugably soft is my business, and business is good. (Giggles)

Man: They are soft, and so are you Cuddles. (The man starts tickling Cuddles, who giggles playfully.) Very, very soft...

(The man kisses Cuddles on her stomach; Cuddles begins feeling a bit uneasy.)

Cuddles: Uh... Um...

(The man takes Cuddles to a bathroom.)

Cuddles: Where are we going?

Man: I need...your softness...

(The man closes the bathroom door, and pants unzipping can be heard. Both Cuddles and the man start groaning; the man's groans sound ecstatic, while Cuddles' seem to be more uncomfortable.)

Cuddles: This is a no-no!

Man: So soft...

Cuddles: A big no-no!

Man: Don't fight it...

(Groans continue... Some time later, the door is open. The man's clothes are slightly messed up.)

Man: You might wanna... clean yourself up.

(Cuddles stumbles out of the room, visibly shaken. The man stuffs Cuddles into the washing machine, and pulls her out later. Cuddles seems slightly more worn-out.)

Man: Good as new!

Cuddles: Yeah... G-good as new...

(The man cradles Cuddles in his arms. Cuddles is twitching, obviously traumatized.)

Man: My, you're just so... huggably soft...

Cuddles: No, no, not really... that soft.

(The man enters with Cuddles to the bathroom again. Groans start again...)

Cuddles: Stop! This-this-this isn't right!

Announcer: Cuddles Brand Fabric Softener. When your clothes have to be huggably, rapably fresh.

Cuddles: I... just wanna help you with your clothes...