The Don't in the Do

REVEREND SUMMERS: The lot will hold 1,000 cars!

That's at least 1,000 souls that will be saved, my sisters and brothers.

GROUP: Hallelujah!

SUMMERS: As our Lord says, "If you build it, they will come!"

(laughter)

The Lord spoke to me (gulls cawing) and told me to build his church right here, on this sacred ground.

The Lord spoke to him!

(all murmuring, shouting)

SUMMERS: He told me to turn this refuse into a heaven on earth!

All right! Amen!

(cawing, screeching)

So we need all of you to answer the call of the Holy Spirit and to open your heart and your wallets!

(group shouting affirmation) MAN: Amen!

What is that? Why does he look like that?!

MAN: Why is it blue?

(screams)

MAN 2: Falls from the heavens.

WOMAN: It a bird!

WOMAN 2: Are they sick?

WOMAN 3: It's dead!

MAN 4: There's another one!

MAN 5: Where are they coming from?

It's a plague from God!

WOMAN 4: What does this mean?

(gasping, shrieking) SUMMERS: Brothers and sisters, I'm sure there's an explanation.

It's God's plan!

MAN 6: Help us, Lord!

WOMAN 5: It's a sign from the Devil!

WOMAN 6: The end time?

Run!

(screams)

(screaming, shrieking) MAN: Run! Run!

(screaming, clamoring continues)

BOOTH: Okay, day care for you, and crime scene for us.

Bones, if you don't hurry up, people are gonna start messing with your remains.

And we don't want at. (giggles)

Hey, baby, baby.

Dada... FBI.

I don't know what to wear.

What do you mean? We're going to a garbage dump.

There's no dress code.

Well, everything I put on-- all the clothes I had before the baby-

I just fell like I'm not...

(sighs) You know what I mean?

No, I don't. Listen, we've got to get Christine to the day care...

I feel like I'm in someone else's body.

Oh, no.

You are not in somebody else's body.

Trust me. I know your body.

I guarantee that one.

Okay, now you're humoring me so that you can get to the crime scene.

Yes, I am.

So why don't you wear the green thingy?

What, this? It makes me look like a golf course.

Bones, what's the matter?

You're never like this?

You don't think I should care about how I look?

Right.

I get it.

Uh, you're an airplane propeller and I'm about to walk into you, so I'm gonna take a step back.

I don't know what that means. You're just feeling a little vulnerable because you just had a baby.

Are you saying that I resent our daughter?

I love Christine. No!

No, not at all. I just...

Look, what do you say we talk about this later?

W-We should get to work.

Okay, fine. Should I wear this or this?

Uh, you know what, they're both gorgeous.

Ugh! You're no help at all.

Absolutely no help at all.

Did I say something wrong?

(indistinct conversation)

(siren approaching)

Thank you.

I should've worn the other top but you rushed me.

You know what, you're wearing-- give me that.

It's raining out, okay? You're wearing a jumpsuit.

No one's gonna know what you're wearing.

I know what I'm wearing.

BOOTH: Okay. Murder at the Blue Man Group.

What's with all the dead blue birds?

SAROYAN: They picked the victim apart, and died doing it.

Where are the rest of the remains?

With Hodgins. I'm gonna put "freaky" in my report, huh?

Yeah. Went in mine, too.

(whispering): Hey, hey, hey, hey... Cam, Cam...

Do me a favor, okay? When you get an opening, just tell Bones that she looks good.

Excuse me?!

I think she's feeling a bit unattractive since having the baby.

But isn't that your job? No, no.

I'm the loved one, that's not gonna work.

I need you to do that. Please. Look, I owe you one. Come on, huh?

All right?

All right! Just say she looks great, that's all.

Okay.

HODGINS: Well, we recovered the remains from the garbage.

BRENNAN: What made the remains blue?

HODGINS: Well... there's so many chemicals in this dump, It's gonna take a while to figure out what the original solution was.

Found matches.

Probably some kind of accelerant.

All right, so someone tried to torch him.

That's a lot harder to do than people think.

So the killer's probably an amateur.

Adolescent Calliphora vicina.

Which means that our blue friend here has been dead for about two weeks.

Judging by the fusion of the sacrum, he was male, around 30, and tall, approximately 185 centimeters.

BOOTH: Oh, wow.

Blue rats, too?

Yeah, and raccoons and squirrels-- and everyone who snacked on this guy is dead.

BRENNAN: Where's his hair?

He has no hair.

Well, the birds probably took it.

It'd make a lovely nest.

(mouthing)

Speaking of lovely, you... look particularly lovely yourself today, Dr. Brennan.

Booth told you to say that, didn't he?

What?

SAROYAN: Sorry, you're on your own, Seeley.

W-What... cause of death?

How'd he die? Cause of death?

Do I want to know what's going on here?

No, no, no, no. Cause of death?

The scavenging has obscured any other injuries to the bones, so cause of death will have to wait till the lab.

Of course. Right. Of course it does... but you look good in that.

(weak laugh) Somehow you make that old jumpsuit thing look... very hot. Seeley.

Right. Let's get it all back to the Jeffersonian, huh?

Blue Man Group and everything.

Here we go!

We...

(sighs)

♪ Bones 7x09 ♪ The Don't in the Do Original Air Date on April 16, 2012

♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method

♪

BRENNAN: None of the markings to the upper body is cause of death.

This straight grooves with the flat floors are rats.

These are dogs, and those are from the seagulls.

The scoring to both femurs could be from an assault.

No. Those are mostly the result of...

Coyotes!

Very good. Yes.

Thank you! Thank you very much!

I love my job.

MONTENEGRO: Okay.

Can't wait to start the facial reconstruction, see if anybody reported a blue man missing.

BRENNAN: Krishna has been depicted as having blue skin but he died in 3102 BCE, so decomposition would be a little more advanced.

(laughs)

Wow. You are madly in love with your job.

Any closer to what that blue stuff is?

Well, so far I found dimethyl benzyl, ammonium chloride, sodium nitrite, and lactic acid, but those could've been present in the dump before the body arrived.

That's a no, right? I'll get it, after I finish blending together the remaining tissue.

Okay, if anybody needs me, I'll be in my office, gagging.

We won't be able to use the bones to identify assault until we rule out all the damage caused by scavengers.

He might have been poisoned.

I'll know after the tox screen.

If you can find an uncompromised piece of flesh.

Oh, you bone guys are unimaginative.

We have the tongue.

The tongue!

It would have been protected from contamination.

Would you like to do the honors, Mr. Vaziri?

Thank you.

(sighs)

Truly, madly, deeply in love.

SWEETS: The dump could represent a funeral pyre.

A what? A pyre.

He was doused in blue liquid that was supposed to cremate him.

I'm thinking it could be some kind of a ritualized murder.

That's crazy. You know, supposed to be the best profiler we have.

We're just spitballing here. You're reaching, that's what you're doing.

You're reaching, all right?

Bodies are dumped in landfills all the time, Sweets.

Something else going on?

Nope! Nothing else is going on.

I have everything under control.

If nothing is going on, uh, what do you have under control?

You think you're smart, don't you?

Oh, I know I am.

Top of my class, honor society in graduate school, youngest psychologist ever to--

Let's just focus on the case, all right?

Concentrate on the case at hand.

I think maybe you're afraid of something.

I'm afraid of what I'm gonna do to you if you don't shut up.

I think you're feeling marginalized because the baby is taking Dr. Brennan's attention away from you.

What? I'm sorry.

What'd you say?

(phone rings)

What?!

Whoa. Easy, big guy.

You okay?

Yeah. I'm fine. What is it?

I got a hit on my facial reconstruction.

His name is Santiago Valmont, and he's a hair stylist at a high-end salon in Georgetown.

I sent you the file.

All right, hold on here.

Three female clients reported him missing.

None of them family.

Yeah. A good-looking hairdresser with three women who miss him...

I'd say he was giving his clients more than a blowout.

HODGINS: Dude.

Is that a cart full of critters? Dr. Brennan wants me to rule out all the scavenger marks, so we can identify injuries that might indicate assault.

So I went back to the dump and collected them so I can match dentition.

Are you bucking for teacher's pet or something?

Because Dr. B doesn't really do that.

I merely set a certain standard of excellence and I don't want to disappoint myself.

Okay.

What's that?

I pureed some of the flesh to I.D. what he was doused in.

I have total faith in your ability to resolve the mystery.

Because, dude, you rock.

Okay. What is going on?

Have you been huffing this stuff or something?

No one is supposed to see this yet.

You can't tell anyone.

It's the galleys from the Journal of Forensic Anthropology.

Five up from the bottom.

"New Methodologies for Osteometric Analysis in Human Remains," by Arastoo Vaziri.

Hey, man.

Congratulations.

Thanks. I've just been so pumped and I can't say anything until the journal comes out.

Check out page 41.

41...

You gave me a footnote.

You deserve it.

(laughs): Well, thank you.

Wow. Now, let me give you a little piece of advice.

You've been published. Excellent.

Now, just, you know, relax and enjoy it.

That's not how it works.

I've got to figure out my next project.

Academia is a bitch, bro.

When was the last time any of you saw Santiago?

SCHAPIRO: Two weeks ago.

My husband has been in St. Louis for two months.

A woman needs to be appreciated occasionally.

WONG: After cutting up oranges for soccer practice, There was nothing like getting blown out by Santiago.

Ah, woof.

Ah, uh... So, you were all then, uh, appreciated by Mr. Valmont.

And none of you were jealous?

We each had our own appointments.

I had him every Wednesday and Friday at 5:00.

I was Thursday's at 1:00, before picking up the kids for soccer practice.

You know, it's very rare not to feel proprietary when involved in an intimate relationship.

Well, someone was jealous.

His Saturday appointment.

Bitch always demanded the 6:00.

Why would that matter?

It's the last appointment of the day.

There's no rush.

It's good planning. Uh-huh.

But Santiago started complaining about her last month, said she was getting crazy and jealous.

Did he mention a name?

No, he respected our privacy.

We respected his.

Right, girls?

Mm-hmm.

MILLER: I can't believe he's dead.

He was my best stylist.

My first hire, when I opened the place.

Well, he had a regular client on Saturdays at 6:00.

We need to know who that was.

I have no idea.

He booked his own appointments.

He wanted to keep his clients confidential.

Because he was having s*x with them?

Did you know about that?

Look... if you want to know about Santiago's clients, ask Theo, his shampoo boy.

He's over at Santiago's station.

I have a salon to run.

Of course you do.

BOOTH: Shampoo boy, huh?

Excuse me.

Hey. FBI.

I need to ask you some questions about Santiago.

Oh, God.

Something's wrong, isn't it?

Santiago's not playing hooky.

BRENNAN: He's dead, Theo.

Santiago was murdered.

No, t-t-t-that can't be.

Kevin. Who?

Kevin has been trying to get his station for the past two years.

You think he'd kill for that chair?

Do you people have something you want to say to me?

Santiago's been murdered.

Well, if there's any justice, it was that poor girl he made look like a skunk.

Let's just focus, okay? We're looking for a client who had Santiago 6:00 appointment on Saturday.

I leave at 5:00 on Saturdays.

So, if he had a private client, I wouldn't know.

Oh, please!

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, that's his private...

(grunts)

Now you don't need a warrant.

Huh.

You're welcome, G-Man.

Look at this, huh? Tip envelope.

"You're mine, darling. Don't forget it.

XOXO, Ruby."

Maybe he didn't live up to his side of the bargain.

Santiago was my stylist and I gave him a tip.

I don't see what the big deal is.

My dad was a barber.

The biggest tip he ever got was a glazed ham.

Okay? You got $1,000.

That's got to mean something.

He was a really really good stylist.

Ruby, we know all about Santiago.

We know that he was sleeping with his clients.

I was more than just a client; I loved him.

He knew that.

You loved him, right.

So I'm sure the idea of him sharing other women really bothered you, huh?

But I would never do anything to hurt him.

I gave him the money to help him.

He had debts from...

...from buying drugs.

It's the only reason why he was messing around with those skanks, because he was high.

What kind of drugs?

Weed, pills, some cocaine every now and then.

Okay, so you made sure he was supplied?

No! God, no!

I was trying to get him into treatment.

But he wanted to get his dealer off his back.

I was trying to save him, not kill him.

The stuff is blue.

And he was a hairdresser.

So, it's got to be Barbicide.

And Barbicide is flammable, right?

Yes, but it doesn't contain meta-diamino toluene.

Okay, so if the blue stuff degraded, we'll never know what it was?

Well, maybe if you were dealing with an average scientist.

(chuckles) I, however, have discovered that the color component here, it didn't degrade.

It's an unusual formulation of copper salts frequently used to clean and disinfect pools and fountains.

Yeah, but he wasn't found anywhere near a pool or a fountain.

I know, that's the problem.

Ah, Ms. Montenegro, there you are.

Oh, Arastoo.

Congratulations.

You weren't supposed to tell anyone.

I didn't.

Well, she's my wife, so... that doesn't count.

Wh-where is that written?

It's common knowledge.

Oh, okay then.

Thank you, but don't tell anyone else.

VAZIRI: I might have an idea for my next paper.

New insights into Forensic Odontology.

Pretty exciting, huh?

Yeah, yeah, let me catch my breath.

I'm taking microsil molds of the scavengers teeth.

I theorize that if can scan the bones, then input the exact dentition of each scavenger, we should be able to use the Angelatron to strip away their teeth marks, leaving only those injuries that might point to an assault.

That's interesting.

It's a little crazy, but... it's interesting.

So you'll help?

Yeah, as long as I don't have to touch those things.

Thanks, Cam.

So Cam's tox screen confirms that Santiago had drugs in his system.

All right, so Saturday at 6:00 was telling the truth.

Looks like it.

So, why are we heading to, uh, Little India?

Santiago's last credit card charge was for a parking meter there, in front of an import store that was busted for drugs last year.

Okay, hold on. Shouldn't you have just taken a right?

Oh, no, my car's got the Entune system.

Finds the best route, least traffic.

So we're driving in a robot?

Yes, my robot friend Camry.

He calls me Dave. (chuckles)

That is incredibly geeky of you.

Hey, you got the reference, so what does that mean?

BOOTH: Whoa, look at that!

You get sports scores on this thing too?

Uh-huh.

I slept in here one night after Daisy and I had a fight and hated to leave when we made up.

How are things with you and Dr. Brennan?

Fine. Yeah?

Absolutely fine. Not sleeping in my car, if that's what you're trying to get at.

Ooh.

Well, you know, it's quite common to experience a lull in sexual activity after a baby.

Stop.

Okay. Stop. Okay?

We are fine. Everything is great.

We're better than fine.

Hm. I just want you to know that I'm here if you need me for anything.

(sighs)

Not... Okay, not anything, I wasn't referring to... my last statement, wasn't tied to my...

You know what, you're just going to let me keep going, aren't you? Absolutely.

Hopefully, you're little robot car here will be able to bail you out.

(sighs)

No, it doesn't do that.

This was Mr. Vaziri's idea?

Yeah, this is a digital scan of Santiago's skeleton.

And the smaller windows show dentition from the scavengers that Arastoo gathered.

So, this allows you to remove all the post-mordem trauma.

Ingenious.

If it works.

How did you feel after you had Michael?

I'm guessing you don't mean the joy and happiness and overwhelming love.

No, that part, I like very much.

Oh.

Your old clothes don't fit, right?

Oh, God. I can't get comfortable in anything.

Booth doesn't understand.

He tries. But...

Men cannot understand.

It scares them when we talk about clothing.

You should buy yourself some new clothes and-and-and give your a spa day.

I'm too busy; we don't even have cause of death yet.

Wait a minute-- you just grew a human.

Someone should be throwing you a parade.

Getting some new clothes and a facial, I mean, that sounds like the least you deserve.

How's it going?

Congratulations, Mr. Vaziri.

Oh, thank you.

You weren't suppose to know.

Why would you keep this from me?

Oh, this. I thought you meant my article in the Journal of Forensic Anthropology.

No one is suppose to know about that.

Then why did you just tell me?

Right.

So, you like what I did here?

I was thinking it could be another paper.

MONTENEGRO: Yeah, it's actually working out better than I thought.

Here, look at these marks.

These weren't made by animals.

Can you enhance them?

Oh, this is awesome.

No, it is merely helpful.

Do not discount what you can learn from touch, and careful observation.

So, this is cause of death?

No, these marks aren't deep enough, or close enough to any of the arteries that could be severed.

Perhaps not, but the linear cut marks on the side of the cranium tell us a lot, don't they Mr. Vaziri?

They do?

Yes.

There are micro-incisions here and here.

That's why the victims hair was missing.

He was scalped.

(lively Indian music playing)

Like I said, Sweets, the owner was arrested for selling drugs last year, okay?

So Santiago could have been killed in a drug deal gone bad.

I've never heard of a drug dealer scalping anyone, huh?

A ritualistic killing doesn't seem so odd now, does it?

(grunts)

SANGANI: Hey, what's going down, good people?

Right, Poorab-a...

Uh, Sangani.

Sangani. Yeah.

FBI Special Agent Booth.

We're looking to get some information on this guy.

Santiago Valmont, he was spotted here last Tuesday.

No, man, I never heard of him.

Really?

We know that you were busted last year for selling drugs, Poorab.

No, man; no, no, man; I'm clean.

Yo, I'm like, in the program clean, man.

So you wouldn't mind cooperating with us, right?

Yeah, man, yeah. Damn.

Right there...

This dude's rockin' straight up women hair.

He's actually rockin' no hair at the moment-- he's dead.

Ah, man, dude.

Ugh.

You know what, man? Yo, my brother, he was working on Tuesday night, right?

He's in the back making samosas.

I'm gonna go get him for you, all right?

SANGANI: Yo, Ravi, hey man! Time to do some public service, bro!

Agent Booth... Yeah.

SWEETS: Blue liquid.

The stuff he was doused in, huh? Mm-hmm.

Poorab!

Hey!

All right.

Booth...

What?

BOOTH: Look at that! That's a lot of hair!

Yeah.

I don't think Santiago was the only one who got scalped.

Okay. Great. Just let me know when he has his PD, Okay? Great. Thanks.

Poorab won't talk?

No, not till he has his public defender.

You know, this is not what I need.

I got so much on my plate right now.

I don't need his grief.

Who, Dr. Brennan? Huh?

It's a communication issue, isn't it?

You know what, Sweets, my life is not a game show, all right?

You know, if you don't deal with communication issues right away, they can fester, and cause serious damage to a relationship.

It's not that, I just, Look, I think she's feeling a little unattractive since having the baby, that's all.

Oh.

Oh, what?

It's very common for a new mother to experience a certain degree of body dismorphism.

Disma... what?

Dismorphism. Dismorphism.

Dismorphism. What is that?

It's a condition related to body image.

Have you told her lately that she looks...

Of course, and she does.

All right? All the time I'm telling her she looks great.

But I just think that, she feels like I'm shining her on, that's all.

Oh, well, you need to show her that she's wrong.

Buy her something that, you know, makes her feel...

...beautiful.

BOOTH: Cupcakes?

Lingerie.

No, I... Oh.

BOOTH: It's a lingerie store.

You gotta be kidding me.

Women love lingerie.

I buy it for Daisy all the time.

You know I'm right.

BOOTH: All right.

Here we go.

Sequins, colors... These are crotchless.

Crotchless, wow, you, I think you know a little bit too much about this.

Daisy's adventurous. Huh?

Huh?

You know what, this is a bad idea. Let's go.

What?

Perhaps this bralette is more to your liking?

It comes with these delicious panties.

SWEETS: Whoo! (chuckles)

Um, I'm just looking.

If you want something more intimate...

No. Yeah, he does.

What size is she?

Well, I don't know. You see, she just had a baby.

Are we talking apples or melons?

Mangos.

You looking at her fruit?

I am a doctor.

Just accept the help.

BOOTH: No, no, ma'am. Ma'am, I don't need that many.

I'm just looking for one thing.

Actually, one small little thing.

Not too small.

One thing? Yeah.

For the woman who just had your baby?

What?! Come on.

If you want this relationship to last, you'd better let me help you.

You pulled me away from examining the bones to play with the biggest hair ball on earth?

It's one paper, Mr. Vaziri; not the Nobel Prize.

Did Hodgins tell you? Angela?

Emilio in the parking garage.

And since Booth thinks the victim's hair may be in here, we are on tweezing duty until we separate and I.D. every follicle.

(computer beeps)

Thank you, mid-17th-century immigrants.

What are those things?

Wool carders.

I got them from the colonial New England diorama.

Now, if these honeys can separate wool and human hair, human hair should be a piece of cake.

Beats tweezing.

Carder up, Mr. Vaziri.

Hey, I figure if we grab a snack now, we can dish for about eight minutes, and then we can pump later on.

It's a glamorous life we lead, isn't it?

I'm working.

I know. I'm interrupting.

I got you a grilled veggie pita, by the way, because I know you're a wild woman.

I've noticed some damage and scarring that didn't show up on the Angelatron.

Oh, really?

(sighs) Arastoo's going to be bummed.

He thought he was on a roll.

More importantly, I got us a reservation at the Four Winds Spa.

I know, I know, you're welcome.

Facials, body scrubs, massages.

Fracturing.

I'm going to take a pass on the fracturing.

Are you in?

It sounds appealingly indulgent.

There's an injury to the victims back.

The L4 and the L5 show hairline fracturing.

And there's no remodeling.

These injuries occurred at time of death.

Oh...

Dr. Brennan, I found something you need to see.

You can see a dark line of demarcation near the cut end.

That's a result of putrefaction.

Which means the hair was cut off a corpse.

Is this Santiago Valmont's hair?

No, the hair shaft has a circular cross-section and a thick cuticle.

It didn't come from a Caucasian.

So, where's the victims hair?

We haven't found a match for him yet.

But we have found hair from 25 different people in the hair bundle, all dead at the time the hair was removed.

25 victims?

Perhaps Dr. Sweets was right about this being a ritualistic killing.

Well, if he was hog-tied in some kind of ceremony, that would account for the injuries I found in the victims L4 and L5.

Those didn't show up on the Angelatron.

No, they didn't, Mr. Vaziri.

Sometimes it is best not to let a machine do your work.

Please reexamine the bones to see what else you missed on your quest for notoriety.

Of course.

I'm Tess Levinson.

I'm representing Mr. Sangani.

Of course you are. First day on the job, right?

No, this is my second week.

And I have advised my client of his rights.

Great, okay, you can sit.

Without stepping on your rights, Poorab, maybe you can tell me why you ran off with a bag that contained hair from over 25 corpses.

What?! Yeah, according to our lab, Your client here killed and scalped over 25 people for their hair. That's just sick.

No, man. That is whack, man.

I didn't kill anyone, man.

I hustled the hair from my uncle's mortuary.

What?!

Look, every Wednesday, I sneak in there, I cut the hair off the stiffs before they stick them in the furnace.

I sell them to beauty shops for extensions.

Wait a second, extensions?

But the customers didn't know it came from dead people.

Santiago Valmont came to you to pick up hair.

That's all. I was his supplier.

All right, him and his boy at the salon-- um, Kevin.

Kevin.

Yeah, chicks pay big bucks for weaves of that stuff.

What, you got one, right?

I bet it's one of mine. I can't do this!

You're, you're, you're an animal.

I hate law!

I'm-I'm-I'm going to shave my head!

You forgot your, uh...

All right, so you supply Kevin, too?

I'd like to wait till I get another lawyer.

Y-You understand...

Okay...

We've got an hour before the sitter takes off, so, if we leave right now, we can go crazy and treat ourselves with a trip to the dry cleaners.

Mm, as exciting as that sounds, I can't go anywhere until I figure out what this blue stuff is.

This stuff is incredibly acidic.

Not to mention boring.

Come on, honey. Let's go.

If we leave right now, we can fool around in the car before we get home.

Sounds good, right?

Mm. Actually, that does sound fun.

(chuckles) Yeah. Mm?

Oh, my God!

Tha-That's it.

This is an extremely flammable poison that contains both sodium silicate and glycolic acid, which is basically degraded ethylene glycol. It's antifreeze.

He was doused in antifreeze?

Yes!

That is it.

I did it, Ang.

I figured it out.

Now I'm really feeling like fooling around in that car.

Here. Okay.

Oh, it is not a good time unless you know your way around a Brazilian blowout. We are seriously understaffed right now.

I'm sure Booth could help. His father was a barber.

Right, I mean, if she doesn't learn how to properly layer, (chuckles) you're going to lose a lot of business.

Where's Kevin?

MILLER: I don't know. He disappeared, and he took everything with him.

His station was cleaned out.

For five years, he's been working here and then he takes off without even a phone call.

Wait, you guys don't think... tha...

Oh... Oh.

Oh.

BRENNAN: Mr. Vaziri, have you found anything yet that might point to a cause of death?

Excuse me?

Cause of death-- that's the reason we're here.

Yes, I know. I'm sorry. I got distracted.

Uh, I noted various scrapes and anomalies, but none seem to be related to his murder.

Why are you distracted? Do I need to get another intern?

No, no. It's just...

I got word that journal isn't going to publish my paper.

Is that all?

It got pulled in favor of a puff piece about Selena Gomez on a fossil hunt.

I'm not familiar with Dr. Gomez's work, but I look forward to reading about it.

I worked on that paper for six months.

It was excellent.

Yes, I know.

They sent it to me for review.

You aren't supposed to know who's on the review board, but since they're not publishing it...

You thought it was excellent?

Yes, although, I haven't reviewed Dr. Gomez's findings.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

However, I am quite pleased you won't be published.

I don't understand.

You are clearly too immature to understand what b being published means.

I know many scientists who were published, who are useless and forgotten today.

Because they thought what they do wasn't as important as who they were perceived to be.

Do your job, Mr. Vaziri.

You possess many more impressively calibrated sensory organs than any computer.

Touch the bones.

Let them give you the answers.

That's why you're here.

Good luck.

I hope I don't have to fire you.

BOOTH: You worked at that salon for five years, and you just walked out without a word to anybody?

You think I was the only one that hated Santiago?

Talk to the other stylists, to his shampoo boy, to Tabitha!

For God's sake, the man was a prima donna with no talent.

Besides...

I was busier that he was, so why would I have to kill him for his chair?

Maybe, but you may have killed him because you were his drug dealer.

No comment.

No comment. Great.

You know our team already checked your apartment.

We found your stash.

Third ceiling tile from the Kathy Griffin poster.

In case you don't believe us.

You know, it's only a matter of time till we match them to the drugs found in Santiago's system.

Okay, so, I may have sold Santiago a few recreational aids-- big deal.

We know that he owed you $1,000.

You got mad because he didn't pay.

(chuckles)

You really think that I would get myself dirty with his blood. Do you see what I wear?

Why were you heading for the airport then, Kevin?

Last time I checked, dealing drugs was illegal.

BOOTH: True.

Very, very true.

That's a shame, though, that your car did overheat.

Yeah. And you know what's weird about that.

According to your credit card records, you bought two gallons of antifreeze just last week.

But we didn't find any in your car, so...

So? So...

Santiago's killer doused him with antifreeze, tried to light him on fire.

Oh, God.

Well, I mean... well, somebody must have stolen it from my trunk.

I mean, there's no other explanation.

Really? 'Cause I could think of a few more.

BRENNAN: I shouldn't have left Mr. Vaziri alone.

He hasn't been doing his best work lately.

Oh, he'll be fine.

Besides, I had to kill people to get a reservation here.

I just feel like my time would have been better spent at the lab.

No... no, you are doing the right thing, honey.

And not just for yourself either.

Arastoo needs time alone with those bones just as much as you need to be here.

(moans)

(moans) This is...

(chuckling): this is very pleasant.

Oh, just like that. That's great.

Hey, do you want to go clothes shopping later?

Oh, absolutely.

You know that the Ancient Egyptians used self-adornment to...

Who cares about the Egyptians.

(moans)

(chuckles) This fe(moans)de.

(moans)

(moans)

Oh...

Mmm...

Oh, God...

(phone rings)

Ah, please don't answer that.

We are five seconds away from bliss.

(phone rings) Five... four...

(beep) three...

Brennan.

I found a superficial incision at the inferior margin on the anterior aspect of the body of the hyoid.

Where exactly on the hyoid, Mr. Vaziri?

Two millimeters superior to the attachment of the sternohyoid.

Are you sure?

It was too small for the medio-cam, but I felt it, just as you said.

The damage was from a blade.

I'm working with Dr. Hodgins to determine what kind.

How could someone slice the underside of the hyoid during a struggle?

Sweetie, get off the phone and join me in heaven.

(moans)

I know what happened.

You were right.

This was an excellent idea.

We should do it more often.

(chuckles)

Okay...

Hey, I paid my money, so... take me to heaven.

There's only one way for the hyoid to be sliced like that.

All right, Bones, you know, you could have changed.

Got the mask off your face.

Well, I am finally comfortable.

Are you still dissatisfied with the way I look?

Huh? Me?

No, why is this all the sudden about me here?

Kevin was going to cut Santiago's hair.

Right.

So, he had him sit in the shampoo chair with his head all the way back.

That a cut across the throat would have nicked the hyoid and sliced the external carotid artery.

We should find evidence of blood.

Mm-mm. No, you're not gonna find the blood there, 'cause Kevin didn't do it.

Kevin had motive-- the antifreeze, he ran, and forensically...

Bones, just trust the barber's son, okay?

Santiago, he hated Kevin.

Plus, he was vain.

He would never allow him to work on his hair.

There's only one person here who he would trust, okay?

Follow me.

Hey, Theo.

That's nice work.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, Tabitha's giving me a chance, now that there's an opening.

Please, don't bother him.

He's working on a customer.

Okay, Bones, use your magic wand over here.

See what you get, huh? This area.

There's no blood in the sink.

Blood?!

So, these here are the extensions that Santiago was famous for, right?

He was a genius.

But you're the one who styled them.

Isn't that right, Theo?

You're using the same texturing technique right now, on her, that correct?

The same technique you used on Santiago when he asked you to cut his hair.

It's nice work, by the way.

Y-You got it all wrong.

BRENNAN: I don't think so; Booth's father was a barber.

He knows his hair. Mm-hmm.

And I just found blood.

Blood.

Bones, get off the chair, will you? Oh.

Blood.

Based on how he was positioned in the sink, it's no surprise Santiago's blood spurted this high.

You forgot to clean that area up there.

I...

I just wanted my own chair.

I begged him.

After everything I did for Santiago, he just...

He just laughed at me.

So you scalped him?

What, killing him wasn't enough?

His hair was...

It was so beautiful.

It was the most beautiful hair I'd ever cut.

So you kept it.

Mr. Vaziri, you're here quite late.

Ah, I was just thinking.

I guess I lost track of time.

You've got a long life ahead of you.

You'll publish; don't worry.

I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but I told everyone.

And then my parents told everyone, and they told everyone.

It's like a chain letter of embarrassment and humiliation.

You know you were instrumental in solving this case, right?

I was just doing what Dr. Brennan told me to.

She trusted your ability.

I've never seen her leave an intern alone at that stage in a case.

I was thinking, "Tactile Forensic Detection of Bone Anomalies in the Digital Age."

That could be a fascinating paper, don't you think?

Oh, go watch some TV, Mr. Vaziri.

Take the night off.

Right.

(crickets chirping)

BRENNAN: So, it turned out that Kevin was actually telling the truth?

Yeah, Theo stole the antifreeze from his car to burn the body.

You know, it turns out that Kevin is a pretty honest guy, you know, for a miserable drug dealer.

She still asleep?

She is; look at that, huh?

She's like a tiny, drunken sailor in a onesie.

(chuckling)

She actually let us finish a whole meal.

One that didn't get cold.

Think we should push it with dessert?

Sure. I'll get some ice cream.

Ice cream.

I scream for ice cream-- I'll have chocolate.

That'd be good.

Don't forget the chocolate.

Of course I'll get chocolate.

Here we go. Look at that.

Oh, what is... What is this?

It's a present.

For me? Yeah.

Oh, thank you.

Mm-hmm. Why?

Oh, you know, 'cause I-I love you, I guess.

You guess?

Oh...

Lingerie? Lingerie, huh?

Look, it's three pieces; it matches, okay?

There's a bralette, there's a, uh, a negligee, and a tanga.

Tanga? That's a seaport in northern Tanzania.

Well, I must have misunderstood what she said, then.

Booth, why did you buy me lingerie?

You were complaining, you know, earlier, about how your clothes haven't been fitting you, and you don't feel right about yourself, so I just thought that, uh, you know...

I complain because it's an irritating inconvenience, not because I'm unhappy with the way I look.

Are you unhappy with the way I look?

No, no.

There are hormonal and physiological changes that the body goes through after childbirth.

It's a fascinating process, but for some men, those changes can make them lose interest in their mates.

Well, they don't live with you.

(laughs gently)

I've never had undergarments like these before.

They seem very comfortable.

You chose well.

Yeah?

Maybe we should go upstairs, so I can try them on.

Comfort is what I was thinking about.

Purely comfort. Right. Mm-hmm.

And I should put this away so it doesn't melt.

Booth?

Yeah?

Let it melt.

Whoa!

Or I could just take it with us.

(quietly): Take it with us.

(laughter)

(baby crying)

Okay, you know what? I'll-I'll change her.

Okay, but I'm still gonna put this on.

Yeah? Okay. I'm still bringing this. Ha!

Don't get it sticky, though. Well, you know, it's not that sticky.

Depends on where you put it.