Taken to Neverland

Peter Pan: Fly with me, to Neverland!

Mary Darling: Children, no!

(Scene cuts to Neverland)

Peter Pan: These are the Lost Boys. They're not vampires.

(phone rings from inside a tree)

Peter Pan: (Curiously) We have a phone? (picks it up) Hello?

Bryan Mills: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. I don't know why you dress like...

Mary Darling: A gay Robin Hood.

Bryan Mills: Like a gay Robin Hood. I have a very particular set of skills that make me a nighmare for people like you. By which I guess I mean, flying gay Robin Hoods.

Peter Pan: Good luck finding Neverland, grandpa. (ends phone)

George Darling: Oh, what's he saying?

Bryan Mills: He's saying, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Mary Darling: That's the dial tone.

Bryan Mills: Dial tone? Well, this is a very old phone. He's holding your children in what I presume is an underground horror club called Neverland.

George Darling: Oh thank goodness, you do security work for bankers like myself, Mr. Mills, but how will you reach the children? They were flying!

Mary Darling: I think I heard them say something about thinking happy thoughts.

Bryan Mills: Happy thoughts, eh?

(Scene shows a thought bubble of Bryan Mills grabbing Peter Pan and throwing him on a step)

Peter Pan: No! No! Please!

(Bryan crushes Peter's head destroying his face, thought bubble purple vanishes)

Bryan Mills: Whoo hoo, off I go!

(Bryan flies through the roof. Scene cuts to Neverland, Bryan kills the Lost Boys in a curtain (Warning This contain cartoon sound) expect Slightly, who turns around and sees the other Lost Boys dead with color blood on it)

Slightly: (farts) I just pooped my tail!

Bryan Mills: (Slices the knife around Slightly's neck) Where are the children?

Wendy: I've never meet real live mermaids before.

Mermaids: (Laugh) That's so fun. Lets drown this creep. (Grab Wendy by her arms)

Wendy: No, please, no!

Bryan Mills: (hits all the mermaids with pans (cartoon sound DING DING DING) and speaks to Wendy) Wendy, where are your brothers?

Wendy: There on the pirate ship.

Captain Hook: Time for these little chickadees to walk the plank (laughs).

Bryan Mills: (near dead pirates) Tick-tock, time's up. (kicks Captain Hook)

Captain Hook: (screams, falls into the crocodile's mouth)

Bryan Mills: I'm taking you home, children.

Peter Pan: Not so fast, you old codfish!

(Tinkerbell flies up to Bryan taunting him, Bryan uses his shoe to squash her)

Peter Pan: Tink! Good luck getting home without her fairy dust, asshole!

Bryan Mills: Why would I want to leave when my happy thought's about to come true?

Peter Pan: Your what?

Bryan Mills: (grabs Peter and throws him to a step and crashes his head with his foot)

Peter Pan: Oh! No, no! (screams)  (Peter's shadow comes out)

Wendy: Okay, but seriously man, how the f**k are we getting home?

Bryan Mills: Hang on. (grabs Peter's shadow and throws it on the same step)

Peter's shadow: No, no, wait! (screams)

Bryan Mills: (crushes Peter's shadow's head in black blood with his foot)