My Little War Horse/ The Tonight Show with Jay Lion-O

(Captian Nicholls and Albert Narracott are on-screen.)

Captain Nicholls: My boy, England is at war, a world war. And we need your help.

Albert Narracott: But I'm just a 98-pound weakling! I couldn't join the army, unless you had a machine that can turn me into a super-soldier! Hey, that's a great idea! You can call me "Captain Ameri--"

Captain Nicholls: You misunderstand. We don't want you. We want your horse.

Albert Narracott: Not Joey!

Captain Nicholls: Correct, not Joey. We actually want the pink one.

(Pinkie Pie appears.)

Pinkie Pie: Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!

(Title card appears: "My Little War Horse" and so does a rainbow.)

(Scene goes to lots of ponies.)

Pinkie Pie: Well, isn't this a colorful brigade!

Rainbow Dash: They're calling us the greatest generation born!

Applejack: I hear that our drill sergeant is the toughest in the whole army.

Pinkie Pie: I hear that I really shouldn't be here! From me! I hear it when I say it out loud! I really shouldn't be here.

Rainbow Dash: Shhh. Here comes the sergeant.

(Fluttershy appears.)

Fluttershy: Attention ponies.

Pinkie Pie: She doesn't seem so bad.

Fluttershy: Ahem. (Goes into man voice.) '''YOU'RE ALL ABOUT TO BE SENT TO FRANCE TO FIGHT ON THE BATTLEFIELD OF WORLD WAR I WHICH IS ACTUALLY CALLED THE GREAT WAR BECUASE WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT WE'D HAVE MORE THAN ONE WAR! BUT NOW THAT WE DO, IT JUST MAKES IT LESS CONFUSING TO THE MOVIE GOING PUBLIC! YOU GOT THAT?!'''

Pinkie Pie: What's the movie?

Albert Narracott: I can't imagine the thoughts of Pinkie being all alone in this World War I. I know what I'll do, go to France and save her! TO FRANCE!

(Albert heads to France. The scene goes to four ponies (Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash).)

Rainbow Dash: Everypony, be quiet! The enemy's just over that hill!

Pinkie Pie: Okay, so I know we're gonna fight whoever's over there, and that's a great plan! Really, I love the fighting plan! But I was thinking, what if, just go with me, we Don't fight and instead I give them this nice cake? (Pulls out a cake that says "Yay Friends!")

BOOM!

Rainbow Dash: Too late! They see us!

Applejack: Who?

Rainbow Dash: This is World War I! Who do you think? THE UNICORNS!

Twilight Sparkle: Unicorns, ATTACK!

Rainbow Dash: Us guys, ATTACK ALSO!

(The ponies attack. Suddenly, a rainbow beam hits Pinkie Pie and slams the cake. The cake text changes to "Go Bronies!")

Pinkie Pie: How's that even possible?

(Meanwhile, Albert Narracott goes to France.)

Albert Narracott: Alright, there was a little more ocean between England and France than I thought. Now, how do I save Pinkie? OF COURSE! I'm in France, it's a Spielberg movie! I know who I could call!

(Scene goes to Tintin, Captain Haddock, and Snowy.)

Tintin: At last! With this clue we can solve the secret of the Unicorn.

(Albert Narracott busts in.)

Albert Narracott: TINTIN! Stop whatever boring adventure you're doing and come with me.

Tintin: My adventures aren't boring!

Albert Narracott: OK, fine! They're European.

(Scene goes to the ponies battling the unicorns. But then a rainbow beam hits Rainbow Dash's leg.)

Rainbow Dash: MY LEG!

Twilight Sparkle: Any last words, pony?

Pinkie Pie: Yeah, any last words?

Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie? But you're on my side.

Pinkie Pie: Am I? Honestly, I get confused. I mean, we all look alike, there are colors...

Twilight Sparkle: And we all just want to learn about friendship.

Rainbow Dash: So why are we fighting?

Pinkie Pie: UNICORN!

Twilight Sparkle: Don't do that. I have a name!

Pinkie Pie: No, that Unicorn!

(The Unicorn ship sails out to the battlefield. The Ship splashes the ponies out of the way. Albert Narracott, Tintin, Captain Haddock, and Snowy arrive.)

Albert Narracott: PINKIE PIE! Tintin and I are here to rescue you.

Pinkie Pie: Tintin? And I thought Pinkie Pie was a dopey name.

(Tintin frowns.)

Twilight Sparkle: No one needs to be rescued because ponies and unicorns are at peace. The Crystal Scepter is back in the Golden City and World War I is over!

Albert Narracott: Are you sure this is the story of World War I?

Pinkie Pie: Yes, because it's the sequel, World War II, that has the Peacocks and the Dolphins, I think. Ain't history grand?

(Segment ends.)

Announcer: This summer, James Cameron's epic movie returns...

Frederick Fleet: Iceberg straight ahead!

Announcer: ...in a way you've never seen it before.

Captain Cold: Talk about a chilly reception!

(Captain Cold aims his ice gun at the Titanic and shoots an ice blast at Robin, currently taking the ship's wheel, but he ducks, evading the shot)

Robin: Nice try, Cold!

(Robin throws a batarang at Cold, hitting him square in the head and sending him falling off the iceberg.)

Announcer: Teen Titanic.

Raven: Azarath... Metrion... Zinthos!

(Raven's arcane tomfoolery punches the hull full of holes, flooding the Titanic.)

Cyborg: I built this ship to be unsinkable! So let me interface with the computer, and fix the problem.

(Robin is seen drawing a portrait of Beast Boy, currently posing)

Beast Boy: How's it look?

(The portrait is ruined the second Beast Boy turns into a tiger.)

Robin: Stop doing that!

(Starfire and Blue Beetle are seen, with the former holding the latter's Scarab.)

Starfire: I think it's called the "Blue Diamond of the Crown".

Blue Beetle: No, it's called a "scarab" (takes the bug) - and it's mine. (morphs into his Armored form and jets away)

(Superboy and the people are seen.)

Superboy: Iceberg's not a problem. I'll just move us out of the way.

(Superboy lifts the Titanic - only to break it in half.)

Superboy: Uh oh.

(Kid Flash darts to and fro, opening the doors to the apartments to EVAC the passengers.)

Kid Flash: Get-out,-out,-everybody-out!

(Starfire and Blue Beetle are seen again.)

Starfire: Oh, boy. Here we go!

(They both jump.)

Cyborg: Stupid iceberg ruined everything. TAKE THIS!!

BLAST!

Wonder Girl: I'll never let go!

Aqualad: You can actually. I can breathe underwater.

Announcer: Teen Titanic.

(segment ends)

(Starts at Thundera. Lion-O prepares to battle. Make his dad proud. And we mean as in... "talk show host".)

Lion-O: The stage is set. It's now or never.

Tygra: You don't have to do this, Lion-O. You'll get killed out there!

Lion-O: Then so be it. But tonight, I'll make Father proud. And more importantly, (Scene zooms out to reveal Jay Lion-O.) score the highest ratings in my timeslot.

Announcer: It's the Tonight Show with your host... Jay Lion-O!

(After the title card...)

Jay Lion-O: Thank you, thank you! So, our big story in the news today, Thundera was attacked by lizard people, soulless beasts, and an ancient wizard corpse. And by that, I mean the Kardashians are in town.

(Scene goes to Snarf playing drums.)

Jay Lion-O: THUNDERCATS, HEY-OH! We've got a big show for you tonight! Ryan Gosling is here, musical guest: Mumm-Ra and Sons, and, as always, Panthro and the Tonight Show Band. (Music plays.) So, Panthro, what did you do this weekend?

Panthro: Uh, I got stuck in a tree.

Jay Lion-O: THUNDERCATS, HEY-OH! Now it's time for a segment we call "Catwalking", where I humiliate people by asking them extremely easy questions! (The city, where Catwalking begins) All right, who granted Mumm-Ra his immortality?

Man 1: Um, I don't know who Mumm-Ra is.

Jay Lion-O: What powers does the Sword of Omens possess?

Man 2: Uh, it can cut cake?

Jay Lion-O: What is a Ramlack?

Man 3: Uh, I think a Ramlack's integrity.

Jay Lion-O: Wow, what a bunch of nincompoops. Alright, it's time for our first guest. Please welcome... RYAN GOSLING! So, tell us about your new movie.

Ryan Gosling: Sure. It's a romantic comedy called "Crazy, Stupid, LOLCats".

Jay Lion-O: And your costar is a friend of mine, Cheetara.

Ryan Gosling: It's really true. Cheetara's good.

Jay Lion-O: Let's check out a clip!

(In the clip...)

Ryan Gosling: I was once lost, but will you accept this offer to be my girlfriend? I mean, you're the only one with whiskers.

(laugh track)

Ryan Gosling: Yeah, uh.. I don't like to talk about my personal love life.

Jay Lion-O: But we have some candid photos. (CANDIDS FOLLOW) Here's the two of you on a date, Grune attacking you on your date, and you under a table crying when a warlord was there.

Ryan Gosling: Yeah, uh... I don't like to talk about my personal love life.

Jay Lion-O: Maybe your name should be Cryin' Gosling. THUNDERCATS, HEY-OH! We've had so much fun with Ryan Gosling that we're out of time, so my apologies to Mumm-Ra and Sons---

(Bad timing - Mumm-Ra and Sons have set up)

Mumm-Ra: Oh, come on! We're already set up.

Jay Lion-O: Sorry, old pal, we'll have you back next week.

Mumm-Ra: No way, Lion-O! This is the 3rd time you've bumped us! We're playing, and a one, and a two, here we go!

(guitar music plays)

Jay Lion-O: NO, Mumm-Ra! It's time for Jimmy Fallon! You will not deprive America in his huge musical impersonations! (jumps)

(End credits:

The Tonight Show with Jay Lion-O

Hosted by Jay Lion-O

Directed by Tygra

Featuring the Thundera Band

Band Leaders

WillyKat

WilyKit

Snarf

Created by Snarf

A SNARFCO Production

Filmed in Thundera in Front of a Live Studio Audience)

(End segment)