Gary's New Toy


 * [SpongeBob's alarm sounds but then starts to cough and snaps in two. SpongeBob picks it up]
 * SpongeBob: Hmm. Gary, have you been chewing on my alarm clock again? Oh well.  [Tries to fix it with tape but it falls over again] Up and at 'em.  [Jumps out of bed] Eww. Gary, not my slippers, too! Nasty.  [Goes into the bathroom and smells his breath] Eurgh. Oral hygiene to the rescue!  [Reaches into the cabinet for his toothbrush, but Gary is chewing it] What the hey? Come on, Gary!  [Pulls] Let go!  [Tickles him] Coochie coochie coo! [Gary  laughs and lets go] Golly, Gary, what's gotten into you? Are you bored? I'll play with you later. [Gary chews the toothpaste tube] Gary! [ SpongeBob drops him into the bath] Gary, you are a nut. Sheesh!
 * Gary:  [Chews a bar of soap] Meow. [Cut to SpongeBob at the kitchen table making breakfast]
 * SpongeBob:  [Pours cereal] That snail sure is acting weird. It's like he's teething again.  [Pours milk, but it leaks out of the bowl, looks through a hole in it] Hey, hold on a second...Gary, have you been chewing on my bowl?!
 * Gary:  (Spits a piece of bowl out)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Noew.
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> I'm beginning to sense a pattern here.  (Gary chews the table)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary, are you trying to tell me something? Could it be that what you need is a new chew toy? (Gary licks him)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> I thought so.  (Gary chews his nose) (Cut to the pet store)
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Ooh, I bet they have lots of toys here. Hey look, there's Patrick! Howdy, Patrick.
 * Patrick:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Hey SpongeBob, Gary.
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> What are you doing here? You don't have a pet.
 * Patrick:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Confidentially, I'm just here for the free samples.  (Punches a hole in a bag of worm food and eats some)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Mmm, you can really taste the gourmet.  (To the picture of the mascot)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Thank you, ma'am, I may consider purchasing this brand for my worms.  (To SpongeBob)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Want some?
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> No thanks, just had breakfast. We're here to buy Gary a new toy.
 * Patrick:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> They're on aisle 3, next to the most delicious snail treats. Follow me!  (Takes one last handful of worm food then leads SpongeBob and Gary to aisle 3)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Here they are! Tasty Time snail treats.  (Eats one)
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Well, how about this one?  (Gives Gary a bone shaped toy. Gary bites it and it deflates.)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> OK, how about this? Well?  (Gives Gary a fire hydrant toy. He squeezes it and squirts water in SpongeBob's face.)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Yeah, I don't think so.
 * Patrick:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Hey, guys, check this out!  (Points to a machine)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> A Pet Point 3000!
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> A pet toy that plays with your pet! What do you think, Gary?
 * Gary:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Meh.  (Slithers away, uninterested)
 * Patrick:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> It's so futuristic.  (Presses a button and a laser pointer appears)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Look, a red dot! (He chases it)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Come back here!
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> That's brilliant! What will they think of next?
 * Patrick:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> I love this thing! Let's turn it up!  (He does so)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Huh?  (The laser points at his head and starts to burn a hole)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Where did it go?
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;">  (Pointing)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Uh, Patrick?
 * Patrick:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Huh? Oh, there it is. Hey, do you smell something burning?  (The laser burns right through his head. SpongeBob turns it off. Patrick's brain falls out of the hole and into SpongeBob. SpongeBob blows it out of his nose and puts it back into Patrick's head.)
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Here, you might need this. You know, I'm not sure that toy is safe for Gary. Where is Gary, anyway? Gary? (Gary spots a small red ball on top of a pile and slithers up to it. He licks it and then bites it.)
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary? Gary!  (Gary drops the ball and SpongeBob picks it up)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Hey, where'd you come from? I wonder if Gary would like this ball. Ga-  (Gary falls on top of him and licks the ball)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> I guess you do. (Cut to SpongeBob and Gary arriving home)
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Are you ready to play with your new ball?  (Takes it out of the bag)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Here it is, boy!
 * Gary:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Meow!
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> You want it, boy?
 * Gary:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Meow!
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> OK, boy, go and get it! Go and get it! Go and get it! Fetch!  (Throws it)
 * Gary:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Meow.  (Chases it into the kitchen)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;">
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> OK, Gary, bring it back!  (Hears squeaking)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> C'mon, Gary, bring it back.  (Goes into the kitchen and sees Gary chewing the ball)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> You're supposed to bring it … back … (Gary sees SpongeBob staring and moves underneath the table, chewing the ball excessively)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Ah well, as long as he's not chewing on my stuff.  (Cut to SpongeBob waching TV. He turns it off.)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> I wonder how Gary's doing? I haven't heard a squeak out of him.  (Looks in the kitchen)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary? Hmm, where is that snail? Gary, where are you?  (Looks in another room)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary, I- oh, there you are!  (Sees Gary having a tea party with the ball)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Oh, a tea party, cute! Do you mind if I join you? I just love a spot of tea.  (Sits down)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> What kind of tea is it? Green tea? Earl gray? Oolong? Slippery elm?  (Gary puts the ball in a baby carriage and leaves)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gee, I think he likes that ball more than me.  (Takes a sip of “tea” then spits it out in disgust)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Deugh! That is not tea.
 * (Cut to SpongeBob walking into the kitchen. He takes a can a snail food out of the cupboard.)
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> I know what will get Gary's attention. Good old Slimycan!  (Opens the can slowly, checking to see if Gary hears and comes running)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Here you go, Ga-  (Notices that Gary isn't there and lets the food slide onto the floor)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Darn it, Gary.
 * (Cut to SpongeBob looking for Gary with his food in a bowl.)
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary, dinner time! Gary!  (Opens the garage door)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary?  (Gary turns around to reveal that he has painted his face red with lipstick to match the ball)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> OK, that's just creepy. Gary, I think you need to spend some time away from this ball.  (Gary presses the garage door button and SpongeBob gets lifted to the ceiling)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> This isn't helping your case.  (Gary grabs the ball and leaves)
 * (Cut to Gary sleeping. SpongeBob walks in.)
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> OK, Gary, fun is fun, now give me that ball, pronto!  (Holds out his hand)
 * Gary:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Meow.
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Oh, so you've hidden it?  (Gary tries to sneak away)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Oh no you don't, come here! I bet I know where it is.  (Flicks open a hatch in Gary's shell and puts his hand in)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Hairball. Hairball. Wallet. Darn it, I thought I lost this … and I just cancelled my credit cards! Hairball. Toothbrush. Aha!  (Pulls the ball out)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> I knew it!  (Walks into the bedroom)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> You'll see. Some time apart will do you good.  (Launches the ball on top of his dresser)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> There we go, out of sight, out of mind. I know you're upset now but wait until tomorrow morning.  (Gets into bed)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Why, you probably won't even remember that old ball.  (Turns the light off with his feet. The ball rolls to the edge of the dresser, in a red glow, and Gary stares at it.)
 * (Cut to the next morning. SpongeBob's alarm sounds, then coughs and falls over.)
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Good morning, Gary! I hope you're not still mad at me. Gary? The ball!  (Notices the ball is missing)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> I will not tolerate this disobedience, Gary!  (Walks into the living room)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary, I'm not playing around, you had better show yourself this instant. (Something drips onto his nose. He looks up and sees Gary on the ceiling.)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> OK, get down here! Hm.  (Walks off screen and back on again, now on the ceiling)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary, give me that ball.  (Falls, then hits Gary with a broom)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> C'mon! Hnn! Get down!  (Falls. The broom goes through his head and knocks his eyeballs out.)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Mother always said, “don't run with the broom”.  (Gets a chair and a shovel. Stands on the chair and scrapes Gary off the ceiling.)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;">I'll take that!  (Reaches for the ball. Gary bites his hand.)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary, how could you! You are going to have to make a choice. It's either me, or the-  (Gary squeaks the ball)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Ball. (Grabs suitcases)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Fine. I hope you two will be very happy. Together. Without me. Goodbye.  (Leaves, crying)
 * (Cut to Gary watching television. His stomach rumbles. He goes into the kitchen.)
 * Gary:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> (in the manner of saying "SpongeBob") Meow?  (Checks the stairs)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Meow?  (Checks the bathroom)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Meowow?!  (Checks the roof) <span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;">Meowow!  (Goes back into the living room and remembers SpongeBob leaving. What he said was "translated" into snail. He then cries, and eyes the ball suspiciously. The ball whistles. Gary tries to leave but the ball stops him.) <span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;">Meow?  (Acts like he's walking away, then tries to leave again but the ball stops him. Grabs the ball in his mouth and tries to break it. Drops it into the blender, but it shoots out and bounces around the kitchen. Leaves the house in chaos.)
 * (Cut to SpongeBob lying underneath a bench)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;">
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> And so it's come to this. No home, no best friend, and sleeping under a bus stop.  (Nematode pops out of the ground)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Hello, little nematode. Will you be my friend?  (Nematode crawls onto his arm)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Atta boy.  (Crawls into his shirt)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Dahaha, that tickles!  (It re-emerges from his pants with his wallet)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Hey, my wallet! Good thing I cancelled those credit cards.
 * Gary:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;">  (On the bench)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Meow.
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Gary! I mean, oh hey. What are you doing here, waiting for a bus?  (Gary licks him)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Oh, Gary, does this mean you've come to love me more than that chew toy?
 * Gary:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Meow.
 * SpongeBob:<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Yippee!  (Hugs Gary so hard that one of his eye stalks pops through his head)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Look, we're closer than ever.  (Laughs)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Come on, Gary, let's go home.  (Sniffs)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Do you smell something burning?  (In the background, his pineapple explodes in flames. The chew toy is fired to where SpongeBob and Gary are standing.)<span style="font-family:York,sans-serif;line-height:20px;"> Hey, look, isn't that your ball?  (Gary hisses at it, and the episode ends.)