Cutie And The Beast

CUTIE AND THE BEAST --- Written by: KEVIN HOPPS Directed by: AUDU PADEN Animation by: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA SINGERS: Certain is what we are, Of what you'll like the least, Snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast! Snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast! NARRATOR:Once upon a time, an enchantress turned a selfish prince into a        hideous beast.  To break the spell, he had to fall in love with someone who loved him, before his magic flower lost all of its petals. If he could not, he'd remain a beast...forever. PRINCE:  NARR'R: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners! YAKKO: I'm Yakko! WAKKO: I'm Wakko! DOT:   And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Balana-- Oh, shoot! Y & W: [Laughing] DIRECTOR:Cut!! DOT:   Take two.  NARR'R: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners! YAKKO: I'm Yakko! WAKKO: I'm Wakko! DOT:   And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fone-- Aaaaagh! DIR:   Cut! YAKKO: Ladies and gentleman, Miss Banana Falana! WAKKO: [Laughing]  Banana Falana! DOT:   Oh, thanks for your support, Mr. P-Pop-Into-the-Mike! WAKKO: Oh, >P NARR'R: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners! YAKKO: I'm Yakko! WAKKO: I'm Wakko! DOT:   And I'm Pincess-- DAAAAAAAAGH!!! YAKKO: _/Helloooo, Pincess! [Laughing] \_     I love it! WAKKO:  \         (together)            /   Pincess! DOT:   Yeah, *you* try saying it sometime! YAKKO: "Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca III". {Mexican Hat Dance} DOT:   Oh, *thank you*, Mr. United-States-Canada-Mexico-Panama. Big whoop. LET'S DO IT!  NARR'R: And now...the stars of our show...the Warners. YAKKO: I'm still Yakko. WAKKO: I'm still Wakko. DOT:   And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Fo        Foo --- STOP! WHYCANIGTIT BYGDDITRBBIT WHYGOTTOSTOPIT AAUUUUUGH!!! YAKKO: That's my cute little sister who said that! Goodnight, everybody! Let's wrap it up, okkay? DOT:   Oh, get off my back! What do you want me to do? YAKKO: Try memorizing your lines. DOT:   I was busy! WAKKO: Another date with Brad Pitt? DOT:   Oh, and you should talk? WAKKO: Hey, I can't help it if girls find me irresistable! DOT:   Yeah, until they learn you don't bathe! YAKKO: \ WAKKO:  > [All talking at once] DOT:   / DIR:   People! Come on, let's do this -- last take!  NARR'R: And now. The stars of our show. The Warners. YAKKO: I'm Yakko! WAKKO: I'm Wakko! DOT:   And  I  am  Princess  Angelina  Contessa  Louisa  Francesca  Banana Fana Bo  Besca  the third! Y & W: Yay!!! YAKKO: Your brother and I just couldn't be prouder! DOT:   Oh, dry up! DIR:   Let's move it along! Next line! DOT:   ...but you can call me 'Dot'! YAKKO: No time for that, we're running late. @h, skip ahead -- to here. DOT:   Great! This village is so quaint, it makes me want to break into song! YAKKO: Funny, it makes me break into a rash! [Time to check the AMLF!] {P&^B theme} YAKKO: Come on! Let's go into this dark and spooky forest! WAKKO: Do we have to? YAKKO: Well, if we don't, we'll face a fate worse than death! WAKKO:  You mean --? YAKKO: That's right! Another song by Dot! WAKKO: AAAAAAAAAGH! DOT:   Hey! What is this, Make Fun of Your Sister Day on Animaniacs? YAKKO: Oh, come on, why don't you just -- Just because you   \ can't take a joke. You know, you're really driving   | me nuts with your singing--                           |_ [Together] DOT:   You know, this isn't really right! You've got issues | man, serious issues! You can't pick on me like that! |       You're not the boss of me! / WAKKO: According to this, I'd say we've lost our way! YAKKO: This isn't a map! It's a campaign flyer for the Republican Party! WAKKO: I know! That's why I'd say we've lost our way! As a country, I mean! DOT:   Yeah, yeah, we get it. Now can we get on with this?  Thank you! DOT:   Maybe whoever lives here can tell us where we are! TAZ:   GRRRRRROOOOAAAAR! Who are you? Y & W: We're the Warner Brothers! YAKKO: I'm Yakko! WAKKO: I'm Wakko! DOT:   And I'm Princess Angelina Cont-- Y & W: She's Dot. DOT:   No, I'm Princess Angelina Contessa...Louisa...Francesc--- No, I'm -- I'm in love...! TAZ:   You're trespassing! Now go! {Taz-mania Theme}  DOT:   [Sighing] {Overture from Romeo and Juliet}  Now that's tall, dark, and handsome! YAKKO: Don't forget flea-ridden! WAKKO: [Laughing]  TAZ:   RRRRRRROOOOOOOUUUUUUUAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!! DOT:   You're so masterful when you're annoyed! How about a kiss? TAZ:   Dauuuugh! Go a-way! DOT:   Oooh! I love a man who plays hard-to-get! Come on, admit it! We'd make the perfect couple! Like Bogart and Bacall! Romeo and Juliet! YAKKO: Timmy and Lassie.  You know, if she keeps on being pushy, She'll be thrown out on her tushie! WAKKO: All she needs is his affection. YAKKO: What *he* needs is police protection! For a beast, he is the very, very best! Y & W: But she's a pest, she a pest, she's a pest! TAZ:   <Whomp> And don't come back! Yaaaaaaaaaggghh!!! YAKKO: While she may have been forward, WAKKO: Acting out of her gourd, YAKKO: We simply must insist, you did more than just resist! WAKKO: You threw her out! YAKKO:                     What a lout! DOT:   To say the least, you were a beast! WAKKO: How you acted was a crime, now I'm afraid it's pay-back time. YAKKO: We will slide, WAKKO:               we will hide, YAKKO: We'll do things you can't abide! WAKKO: And we'll do all kinds of tricks just for kicks... YAKKO: Your troubles we're enjoying, WAKKO: And we're so annoying, Y & W: We are pests, we are pests, we are pests! DOT:   He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me-- TAZ:   Put that away!! Now go! Go! Go!! YAKKO: If your host throws you out, There's no need for you to pout. And should they change all the locks, Just come back with a big gift box. TAZ:   Aiiieeeee!! <B O O M> YAKKO: @hh, you're Taz, aren't you? {Taz-mania Theme} TAZ:   Uhh -- me no Taz. WAKKO: Could you do that thing, that funny thing that you do? TAZ:   BLOOUUAAAAGH! WAKKO: No, that's not it! TAZ:   Uh...WAAGGHDEEDEEDEEDEEIGH!! YAKKO: No; no, that's not it either. You know, the *funny* thing! DOT:   Can we finish this cartoon? YAKKO: All right!! Y,W,D: We are pests, we are pests, we are pests!!! YAKKO: As you can surely tell, WAKKO: It's a job that we do well! YAKKO: So should you be at someone's house When they're acting like a louse, WAKKO: Be like us, make a fuss! Y & W: And be a pest, be a pest, be a pest! YAKKO: Grab your host, give a squeeze, Maybe somewhere 'round the knees! WAKKO: You're his guest -- cheer him up! YAKKO: No, no, please don't interrupt; Tweak a nose, pull some ears, Swing him from the chandeliers! WAKKO: Watch him go, to and fro! YAKKO: Ah, see now, you're a pro! Yes, you deserve a great big hand, Because now you know you can Y & W: Be a pest, be a pest, be a pest!!! <WHAMP!> TAZ:   Oh, it's hopeless. You win. Come get kiss. DOT:   Ohhh! Do *not* go in there! YAKKO: Are you all right? DOT:   I am, but I'm not so sure about him! PRINCE: Wow, am I ever cute! GIRLS: My! He's dreamy! Oh, my! He's so very handsome! My! DOT:   No way! I'm the only who's supposed to be cute on this show! <MWAH!> GIRLS: Eeeeeeeeeagh! TAZ:   OOOOOUUUAAAAGHDOOOUUAGHHHBLAGHBLIHGHTSFZABDHBTSPBPBPBPTHTHTH!!! YAKKO: That's it! That's the funny thing! Y,W,D: [Laughing]