Ruby's Hiccups

(the scene begins in the living room. Louise plays the piano)

Ruby: Before we practice for the concert, we should try sing our own tones.

Louise: Right. Lets sing. (plays the piano) La la la la la la la! Your turn, Ruby. Ready?

Ruby: Ready.

(Louise plays the piano)

Ruby: La la--

Max: Monster.

Ruby: Sorry, Max. I can't help you find your monster mask right now. Louise and I have to practice for the concert. Keep looking, I'm sure you'll find it.

Louise: Ready to try again?

Ruby: Ready.

(Louise plays the piano)

Ruby: La la la--(hiccups)

(both giggle)

Ruby: Excuse me, Louise.

Louise: (chuckles) That's OK, Ruby. Lets try again.

(Louise plays the piano)

Ruby: La la la--(hiccups)

Louise: I think you got a case of...

Ruby: Um, (hiccups) Hiccups. Oh, no! How are we gonna...(hiccups) practise for the...(hiccups) concert?

Max: Monster.

Ruby: Max, I can't...(hiccups) help you find your...(hiccups) monster mask. I've...(hiccups) got to get rid of these...(hiccups) hiccups. Try to think...(hiccups) where you left it, Max.

(Max looks through the drawers but it's not here)

Ruby: (hiccups)

Louise: We need to find a way to get rid of your hiccups.

Ruby: We'll check a big book of...(hiccups) home remedies. It's over...(hiccups) here. Lets see. Coughs, fever, (hiccups) Here it is. (hiccuping continuesly) Hiccups. (laughs) Maybe you should read it, (hiccups) Louise.

Louise: (giggles) All right. Hiccups. There are four cures for hiccups. One: hold your breath for as long as you can. (Max opens the umbrella) Two: hang upside down. Three: drink a glass of water. Four: scare them away. Lets try cure number one, holding your breath for as long as you can.

Ruby: OK. (hiccups) (She inhales and makes a big breath. Max looks up the chimney and then grabs onto Ruby's shirt. Ruby lets go of him and she can't even hold very long and almost losing her life)

Louise: Keep holding it in, Ruby.

Max: Monster.

Ruby: (exhales and hiccups) Oh, no. That didn't work at all. (hiccups)

Max: Monster.

Ruby: (hiccups) I'm sorry, Max, I..(hiccups) don't know where your monster mask is. There are lots of toys for you outside. Why don't..(hiccups) you play one of them. (hiccups)

(Max gets outside and decides to see if his monster mask is there. He gets the helicopter and the dump truck out of the way. He holds a rabbit-racing motorcycle, but the wheel fell off of it)

Max: Monster.

(It was just a jelly balls spitting spider. Max makes it bounce but the string snapped off of him)

Louise: Well, cure number one didn't work.

Ruby: Yeah, so what will we do now?

Louise: Why don't you try cure number 2, hanging upside down?

Ruby: Good idea. (hiccups) Where should I try it?

Louise: How about over there on the chair.

Ruby: Sure thing. (hiccups)

(Ruby hangs herself upside down on the seat)

Ruby: (hiccups) Like this, Louise?

Louise: Right on, Ruby. Lets practice the concert.

(plays the piano)

Louise: La la la la la la la! Now you sing, Ruby.

(plays the piano)

Ruby: La la la la--(hiccups) Oh, no. It's not working. How am I ever gonna get rid of these..(hiccups) hiccups?

(Then sees Max coming to her with a jelly balls spitting spider)

Ruby: (hiccups) I can't help you, Max. I've got to get rid of these hiccups. (hiccups) Max, there are all lots of other stuff for you to play monster. (hiccups) If you look in your..(hiccups) room, you find some other stuff...(hiccups) to play monster with.

Louise: Any luck?

Ruby: I...(hiccups) don't think so. (hiccups)

Louise: So much for cure number two.

Ruby: Right, now what will we do?

Louise: Why don't you try cure number 3, drinking a glass of water?

Ruby: Good idea. (hiccups)

(In Max's room, he decides to find out how to play monster)

Max: Grrrr!

(Not scary enough. He puts on his Mariachi hat)

Max: Grrr!

(Still not scary enough. He takes off the hat and decides to look under his bed)

Max: Monster?

(He goes under the sheet and puts it on)

Max: Grrrr! Monster!

Louise: The book says you have to drink a whole glass of water all at once.

Ruby: I hope this...(hiccups) works.

(As she tries to drink it all, she hears a funny noise and stops drinking)

Ruby: What...(hiccups) was that?

Louise: It came from upstairs.

(Ruby continues hiccuping. Max plays around and drags his sheet to the hall)

Max: Grrr! Grrr! Grrr!

Ruby: Max, what are you doing dragging your sheet all over the place? (hiccups)

Max: Monster.

Ruby: Max, I (hiccups) can't help you find your monster mask. (hiccups) I'm still...(hiccups) hiccuping. Come on, (hiccups) Louise.

(As they got downstairs...)

Ruby: (sighs) We..(hiccups) tried three cures and none of them worked.

Louise: And there's only one more.

Ruby: What is it, Louise? (hiccups) I forget.

(Max goes to the window and finally sees something interesting)

Max: Monster!

Louise: Cure number 4: scare them away.

(the doorbell rings)

Ruby: I think it must be someone..(hiccups) who's coming over. If I..(hiccups) know what to do, (hiccups) then I bet she can help me get rid of them. (hiccups)

Grandma: Grrr!

Both: Aaaaah!

(The monster is actually Grandma)

All: Grandma!

Ruby: What are you doing with that mask?

Grandma: Max left it at my house and I think I had been looking for it. I didn't scare you too much.

Ruby: Scared me.

Louise: Ruby, your hiccups are gone!

Ruby: Grandma, you scared my hiccups away with your monster mask.

Grandma: Not my monster mask.

(Max wears it)

Max: Monster! (hiccups)

(Both laughing)