Mouse Army

Narrator: Just another lazy day in the Botsford residence.

(Becky is in the living room with TJ, with her arm extended in the air.)

TJ:  You’re doing it all wrong! When WordGirl flies, she puts her arms out, like this!

Becky:  You’re sure?

TJ: Hmph! Are you kidding? I’m WordGirl’s biggest fan!

(Suddenly, a strange broadcast comes over the TV.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Hello! Test, test! Is is on? Oh. (faces camera with a menacing look)  Hello, WordGirl!

(Becky gasps, fearing that Two-Brains was somehow broadcasting directly to her TV.)

Dr. Two-Brains: ...And I guess whoever else is watching. Hello as well! (Becky breathes a sigh of relief.)

TJ:  Isn’t that Dr. Mouse Brains?

Becky:  It’s Dr. Two-Brains.

(As they watch, Bob is in the process of creating a large ice cream sundae.)

Dr. Two-Brains: (Talking about a mouse standing on a counter next to him) Oh, isn’t he just precious? Except for the sharp-looking coat, he seems to be just an ordinary mouse. But, thanks to my genius, this mouse is actually one hundred thousand times smarter than the average mouse! Watch! Mouse, what is 345 times 478? (The mouse squeaks an answer, which is indistinguishable.) Yes! But wait, there’s MORE! I’m not just creating ONE super-smart mouse! Oh, no! I am creating an entire super-smart mouse ARMY-- an army that will help me steal all the cheese in the worl--

(TJ changes the channel to a program of an artist painting a landscape.)

Becky:  TJ!

TJ:  It was getting boring-- too much talking!

Becky:  Turn it back! (She grabs the remote and switches the station)

Dr. Two-Brains: We’ll bring this city to its KNEES! Ha-ha-ha! No cheese will be safe! Not even Miss Edith Von Hoosinhaus’ famed glow cheeses! Ha ha! And now, to do the honors… (the mouse prepares to turn to smart ray on a cage full of lab mice, but before doing so, it changes the settings.) No-no-no, hey, you’re setting the rate too high! They’ll be TOO smart! No! Noo! (The signal is lost for a few seconds, then comes back on.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Everything is fine, it’s just-- (hundreds of mice can be seen running behind him) Stop! I am your master!

Unnamed henchman: (whose face appears on screen as the other henchman attempts to follow the action): Hi, Mom!

(The mice are now running out of the building in mass.)

Dr. Two-Brains: I created you! Stop, mouse army! Halt! Cease! (Turns back to the camera, laughing nervously) Everything’s fine. Uh, WordGirl will be defeated, and all the cheese will be mine. (Something explodes, and a flash of light can be seen) Oh, no. (The broadcast goes off.)

TJ:  Whoa! Did you see that explosion?

Becky:  Yeah, uh, listen TJ--

TJ:  And all those mice going in the same direction, in a big hurry? Like a-- what would you call that?

Becky:  A  stampede . Listen, I have to--

TJ:  A What?

Becky:  A  stampede , it’s a hurried flight of a group of animals, in this case mice.

TJ:  Oh-- that was awesome!

Becky:  Right, awesome… TJ, I have to go to the, uh, library and do some research--

(She grabs Bob, who has just finished the biggest ice cream sundae ever.)

TJ:  Huh?

Becky:  (from outside) Word UP!

TJ:  Wow, WordGirl! I wish Becky were still here to see THIS! Her WordGirl impression is horrible!

(Scene: Edith Von Hoosinhaus’ mansion.)

Narrator: Later…

Edith: Oh, my! And you’re sure Dr. Two-Brains is coming here?

WordGirl: That’s what he said on TV, Miss Hoosinghaus! He said that your collection of glow cheese was no longer safe!

Edith: Really? Oh my, that’s horrible! They’re priceless!

WordGirl: Don’t worry, ma’am. That’s why we’re here!

Edith: Well, here they are. (Punches in a code) As you can see, the cheese is well-guarded by my security system. (There are laser beams surrounding the cheese.)

(As they look into the room with the cheese, an army of mice are sneaking around behind them.)

Edith: And, with a little girl and a kangaroo keeping watch, I have no doubt that it’s perfectly safe!

(Suddenly, a sub sandwich is lowered down on a rope above Huggy. He grabs it.)

Edith: Well, that’s settled! Who wants a snack? (to Huggy) Oh, I see you’ve already begun!

WordGirl: Huggy, where did you get-- (Huggy starts being pulled off the ground by the rope by a counterweight attached to the other end, and WordGirl grabs onto him.) Huggy!

(Two strings then drop near the security panel, and two ninja-like mice climb down the strings. They then use sticks to press the buttons.)

WordGirl: The mice-- they’re disarming the security system!

(The laser beams are shut off, and one of the mice cuts the rope, dropping WordGirl and Huggy to the ground. Hundreds of mice then rush the room containing the cheeses.)

Edith: Oh my, that sounds like a-- mouse  stampede ! (The room fills with dust, and when it clears, WordGirl, Huggy and Edith von Hoosinghaus are tied up on the floor next to the pedestals that once held the cheeses.)

WordGirl: I’m so sorry, ma’am. You  depend ed on us, and we let you down.

Edith: Ooh my, that was exciting!

WordGirl: You’re not upset?

Edith: About the cheese? Of course. But a good mouse  stampede  is worth the price of admission! The mice tie a mean knot though, don’t they?

(As they struggle to break through the ropes, Two-Brains shows up.)

Dr. Two-Brains: A-ha! I’m Dr. Two-Brains, and I’ve come for your cheese! Ha-ha-ha-ha! (sees them tied up) No, seriously, where’s the cheese?

WordGirl: Your mouse army already stole it!

Dr. Two-Brains: They DID? That’s terrible! (clears throat) I mean, excellent, my… plan is complete. Uh, I’ll just go meet up with my amazing mouse army, who I am in complete control of…

(The henchmen come in.)

Unnamed henchman: The mice stole all of the cheese, boss??

Dr. Two-Brains: Yes, just like the plan!

Unnamed henchman: But, aren’t you mad at the mice?

Dr. Two-Brains: No, I’m not mad at the-- uh, the mice? Why would I be mad at them? All part of my-- time to go! (Pushes them out)

Edith: He seemed nice!

(Scene: Dr. Two-Brains’ lair.)

Unnamed henchman: What’s wrong, boss?

Dr. Two-Brains: What’s wrong.

Unnamed henchman: Yeah.

Dr. Two-Brains: Because of you, WordGIrl probably knows I am not in control of my mouse army!

Unnamed henchman: But you’re not.

Dr. Two-Brains: I know that and you know that, but I didn’t want HER to know that!

Unnamed henchman: Oh.

Dr. Two-Brains: It’s embarrassing.

Unnamed henchman: Sorry, boss. You should have said something before.

Dr. Two-Brains: I shouldn’t have to! (catches his breath) Calm down, second brain, calm down. Good. I just need to stop for a seond, have a little cheese from my private collection-- (walks over to a vault and keys in the code, and the door starts to open) This can all be fixed. Not a problem. I just need a new--

(After the vault opens, he sees that it is completely empty.)

Dr. Two-Brains: A-- Nooo! (dropping to his knees)

Unnamed henchman: (whispering) I think the mice did it!

(Scene: The Botsford home. TJ is finishing off the last of Bob’s ice cream. Becky is pacing.)

TJ:  Becky! Did you hear? There was a cheese theft at the Von Hoosinghaus mansion, and they stole a bunch of priceless cheese!

Becky:  Yes, I know.

TJ:  Well, how did you hear about that? I thought you were at the library!

Becky:  Oh, I, uh, saw it on the library TV

TJ:  What? The library has TV now? (Eats the last spoonful of the ice cream, and Bob has his face buried in the bowl.)

(The TV again begins broadcasting)

TJ:  Not again!

Dr. Two-Brains: Hello, WordGirl, and uh, everybody else. As I am your greatest enemy of all time, WordGirl, I thought you might like to know that I am going to be in the grocery store parking lot in-- oh, twenty-two minutes! Who knows, maybe you’ll defeat me and save the city! Or-- (his expression becomes serious) maybe we can just talk, just for a minute, it’s totally your call… um… see you soon, I hope… (to henchmen) Okay, turn it off!

Unnamed henchman: Uh, where’s the off switch, boss?

Dr. Two-Brains: Ugh! It’s right-- (broadcast goes off)

Becky:  Oh, I, uh, forgot something at the library! Again. Let’s go, Bob! (from outside) Word UP! (takes off)

TJ:  Wow! WordGirl! Twice in one day! Sometimes it is good to be TJ!

(Scene: Outside the grocery store. WordGirl and Huggy are waiting. She is tapping her foot and looking at her wrist. Two-Brains’ van pulls up.)

Dr. Two-Brains: So, here we are, WordGirl! Just a hero and the greatest villain she has ever faced!

WordGirl: You’re two minutes late!

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, traffic was bad. I have no control over that!

WordGirl: All right, what’s this all about?

Dr. Two-Brains: You see, inside that grocery store, lies the world’s largest wheel of cheese!

WordGirl: So?

Dr. Two-Brains: So, let’s just pretend, for a moment, that I wasn’t... completely in… control.of my… super… smart… army of mice.

WordGirl: Ha! I knew it!

Dr. Two-Brains: (losing control) They stole my private cheese stash, okay? I’m not even quite sure how. These mice are beyond both of us, unless we work together. Like old times?

WordGirl: (thinking) Okay, well how do you know they’re going to strike here? They could be anywhere.

Dr. Two-Brains: (points at his head) Mouse brain!

WordGirl: Okay, okay! (Huggy tugs on her shirt.) What is it, Huggy? (He points up.)

(A large wooden mouse approaches them on wheels. The grocery store manager comes out to see, and picks up a note dropped from it.)

Manager: (reading) “Please accept this large wooden mouse, and put it next to your giant wheel of cheese. Signed, some friend.” Why, that’s a great idea! Thanks friend-- whoever you are! (Wheels the mouse into the grocery store.)

Dr. Two-Brains: (whistles) Didn’t see that coming!

WordGirl: Yeah, right? Do you have a plan?

Dr. Two-Brains: Of course! Dr. Two-Brains always has a plan!

WordGirl: All right. I’m going to have to  depend  on you.

Narrator: Um, excuse me WordGirl! Can I talk to you for a second?

WordGirl: I’m kind of in a rush here.

Narrator: Refresh my memory… what does  depend  mean again?

WordGIrl: It means to trust someone, to believe that they’ll help you out.

Narrator: That’s what I thought. And do you really think it’s a good idea to  depend  on him?

Dr. Two-Brains: H-h-hey, mind your own business!

(A crowd of people flee out of the grocery store.)

WordGirl: Well, it doesn’t look like I have much choice!

Narrator: All right, but I’ll tell you right now this is not going to end well!

WordGirl: (to Two-Brains) Tell me your plan. (He whispers into her ear.)

(Inside the grocery store, the manager is now fighting off an army of mice that have emerged from the wooden mouse. He looks up as WordGirl and Huggy arrive, in fighting stances.)

Manager: WordGirl!

(Two-Brains jumps beside them, also assuming a fighting stance.)

Manager: … and Dr. Two-Brains? That seems odd! Anyway, HELP!

WordGirl: All right, let’s do this!

Dr. Two-Brains: Phase one-- GO!

(WordGirl starts flying around above the mice at super-speed, creating a vortex that sucks the mice in. She then moves toward a large cage that Two-Brains is holding.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Phase two-- (he opens the door of the cage) Here, WordGirl! Direct them here! (He closes the door of the cage, trapping them inside.)

(Four ninja mice, who didn’t get trapped in the vortex, assume attack stances. Huggy comes up from behind and grabs them, then puts them in the cage.)

WordGirl: Great job, Huggy!

Manager: WordGirl! Dr. Two-Brains! You saved the world’s largest wheel of cheese from a most certain eating!

WordGirl: We’re not done yet! Time for phase three!

Dr. Two-Brains: Right! (Points the smart ray at the cage)

WordGirl: You know, we work pretty well together!

Dr. Two-Brains: Yes, yes we do. Too bad I’m EVIL! (Hold out a remote control device and presses the button, dropping a large cage onto WordGirl, Huggy and the Grocery Store Manager.)

Narrator: Didn’t I say you shouldn’t  depend  on him?

Dr. Two-Brains: Uh, did anyone else not see that coming? I mean, I am the villain here, and you just can’t  depend  on someone as brilliantly evil as Dr. Two-Brains. Hee!

WordGirl: (trying to break through the bars) Ungh! Too strong!

Manager: That’s titanium steel alloy! The strongest substance known to man!

WordGirl: Why would you need that in a grocery store?

Manager: I only buy the best!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, WordGirl, thank you so much for helping me steal the world’s largest wheel of cheese! I couldn’t have done it without you! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

WordGirl: You’ll never make it!

Dr. Two-Brains: Why not?

WordGirl: (points to cage) They’re picking the lock.

(One of the ninja mice picks the lock with its stick, releasing all of the mice.)

Dr. Two-Brains: What? No! NO!

Manager:  Stampede !

(The mouse army carries away the wheel of cheese, and Dr. Two-Brains along with it.)

WordGirl: Huggy, can you pick the lock? (He tries to do it using the antenna on top of his helmut.) Come on, they’re getting away! (He says something.) Well, the mice picked it!

Manager: You know, I do have the key!

WordGirl: Why didn’t you say so before?

Manager: You… didn’t ask!

(Huggy opens the cage)

WordGirl: The smart ray!

(The mice have already reached the door and are carrying the cheese out of the store.)

Dr. Two-Brains: (to mice) Stop this! I am Dr. Two-Brains! I was going to win! I was going to beat WordGirl!

(WordGirl and Huggy point the smart ray toward the mice.)

WordGirl: (looking at the controls) Uh, let’s see… Smart? Less smart? FAR less smart! Here we go! (Fires the ray at the mice. They look up, confused, and run off, leaving Two-Brains at the top of the wheel of cheese.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Ha ha, thank you WordGirl! Now the cheese is all MINE!

(The wheel of cheese starts rolling down the street, carrying Two-Brains with it.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Whoa! All part of my plan-- the getaway-- I am still in contro-o-ol! I’m all right. Oh!

Manager: How long do you think he’ll keep going?

WordGirl: Eh, he’ll run into some woods eventually!

Narrator: So once again, WordGirl has triumphed over the evil and un depend able Dr. Two-Brains! Even though she didn’t bother listening to me.

WordGirl: Sorry! Let’s go, Huggy!

Narrator: Join us again next time for another exciting episode of… WordGirl! Oh, boy. (One mouse is sitting on a car wearing a lab coat, working on mathematical equations. It giggles and jumps off.) Hey, did anyone else see that?!