The Friendship Algorithm


 * Penny: What about Howard and Raj, how did Sheldon become friends with them?
 * Leonard: I don't know...how do carbon atoms form a benzene ring? Proximity and valence electrons.
 * Penny: Well, yeah, sure, when you put it that way.


 * Sheldon (on phone): Hello. This is Sheldon Cooper. I’m leaving a message for Barry Kripke. Barry, it was pleasant seeing you today in the cafeteria. I saw that you purchased the chef’s salad. Apparently, you did not know that the chef’s salad is kitchen trickery, to utilize scrap meat. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it. I’m following up on our pending friendship, and I look forward to hearing from you regarding its status. Sheldon Cooper.


 * Sheldon (picks up train): Oh my! That’s awfully sticky. Alright, let’s see. Bernie Bunny has Two Daddies Now. It’s probably about homosexual rabbits. Jerry the Gerbil and the Bullies on the Bus. Read it, not helpful. Oh! Here we go. Stu the Cockatoo is New at the Zoo. Author Sarah Carpenter lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana, with her husband and best friend Mark, and their cockatoos too. Hardly makes her an expert in making friends, wouldn't you agree?
 * Little girl: I don’t like birds, they scare me.
 * Sheldon: Me too! Most people don’t see it. What are you reading?
 * Girl: Curious George.
 * Sheldon: Oh, I do like monkeys!
 * Girl: Curious George is a monkey.
 * Sheldon: Somewhat anthropomorphized, but yes. (The very strict Leonard enters the children's book section eating a pretzel) Say, maybe sometime you and I can go see monkeys together. Would you like that?
 * Girl: Okay.
 * Leonard: (he's asking Sheldon a very sharp question) Sheldon, what are you doing?
 * Sheldon: I’m making friends with this little girl. What’s your name?
 * Girl: Rebecca.
 * Sheldon: Hi, Rebecca, I’m your new friend, Sheldon.
 * Leonard: (He reaches for Sheldon's arm sternly) No, you’re not, let’s go.
 * (Sheldon is now pulled off the tiny chair by Leonard with the book in his hand and he looks down at Rebecca for one last second whilst he is being dragged by Leonard)
 * Sheldon: (he refers to his folly with Rebecca in a panic) We were really hitting it off.
 * Leonard: (he indicates the ceiling to Sheldon) Don’t look up, there’s cameras.
 * (Both Leonard and Sheldon have now the children's section just as the scene now fades to black)