Restaurant Crashers


 * Hank: (Laughs) Barb is gonna love it.
 * Phoebe: Hey Dad, did you-- (Gasps)
 * Hank: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're the last person I wanted to see this.
 * Phoebe: You got me a new car? I love it! And it's freshly waxed.
 * Hank: Listen, honey, here's the thing--
 * Phoebe: I know, I know, I'm not old enough to drive. You just love me so much you couldn't wait. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
 * Hank: Oh, uh, Phoebe. The car is for your Mom.
 * Phoebe: Then why did you say I was the last person you wanted to see it?
 * Hank: Because I'm surprising her with it for our anniversary, and, well, you know.
 * Phoebe: Uh, no, I don't know.
 * Hank: You're not great at keeping secrets.
 * Phoebe: What? Me, not secret at keeping secrets?
 * Young Phoebe: Mom, for you know what dad's getting you for your birthday?
 * Barb: He's keeping it a secret.
 * Young Phoebe: well, I can tell you one thing. It's definitely not a watch.
 * Phoebe: That was five years ago in Metroburg. I can totally handle secrets now.
 * Barb: Hey, how's your homework coming?
 * Phoebe: Dad's taking you to a steakhouse for your anniversary dinner.
 * Hank: And that was 20 minutes ago.
 * Phoebe: But I've learned my lesson since then. I haven't even mentioned the bowling ball Mom got you-- may have a point.
 * Hank: I'm begging you. This is the big one. Please don't spoil the surprise.
 * Phoebe: I won't. I promise. She's gonna love it.
 * Hank: Well, the Minivan was on its last legs, and we needed a car anyway. Figured I might as well kill two birds with one stone.
 * Phoebe: You might want to leave the bird-killing part out. Not very romantic.
 * Hank: Well, this is.
 * Phoebe: You wrote Mom a poem? Oh, I can't wait to tell her.
 * Hank: (Groans)
 * Phoebe: Not tell her. Not tell her. No telly.
 * Max: Hey, guys.
 * Phoebe: I'll never tell. Stop asking. I've already said too much.