The Menu

Selective Hearing

 * Huh-what?
 * Aaaah!
 * Yeah, it's a secret apparently.
 * What did you just say?!
 * Son! What did you just say?!
 * I said...
 * Before that!
 * There's an urban legend about a secret menu at Joyful Burger!
 * You have my attention.
 * The most secret item on it, is a burger. It is said that the burger does not exist until someone speaks its name. It must be summoned... from from the other side.
 * Wait, isn't that how you order food anyway?
 * You don't get it, dude. Apparently this burger is so hardcore, it qualifies as breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For seven people, for seven years. And they say that if you eat it in fifteen minutes, they'll pay.
 * Pay for the burger?
 * No, your hospital fees.
 * This is the burger that I've been searching for all my life. My Atlantis, my Montezuma's gold, my Moby Dick... Except not literally, as I already ate a white whale.
 * There's only one problem, Dad. You can't order it without knowing it's name.
 * Wait, isn't that how you order food anyway?
 * You don't get it, dude. Apparently this burger is so hardcore, it qualifies as breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For seven people, for seven years. And they say that if you eat it in fifteen minutes, they'll pay.
 * Pay for the burger?
 * No, your hospital fees.
 * This is the burger that I've been searching for all my life. My Atlantis, my Montezuma's gold, my Moby Dick... Except not literally, as I already ate a white whale.
 * There's only one problem, Dad. You can't order it without knowing it's name.

Special Sauce

 * Welcome to Joyful Burger. Can I take your order?
 * Yes, I'd like a secret burger, please.
 * Uh, could you repeat your order, sir?
 * Yes, I would like the secret burger, please.
 * Uh, excuse me?
 * Listen, little man! I'm the customer here, and I  don't want to have to repeat my order!  One secret  burger to go, you little--
 * I'm sorry, sir, but that's not an intercom. Can I take your order please?
 * One khhppt burger.
 * Uh, for real?
 * Was I not clear enough?
 * Uh, have it your way, sir.
 * Ugh. Mm.
 * He meant the secret burger!
 * I see. And what is the name of the aforementioned secret burger?
 * Ah, I got it. It's called the Vein Thickener! The Deep Fried Thrombosis? The Meat Your Maker? The Heartbreaker? The Bundertaker! The Commander In Beef! The Bowel Buster! No? More mysterious maybe... The Illumi-patty? The Area Beefty-One? The Bilderburger! Come on, man! You know what we're talking about!
 * Maybe. But I can't server you something you don't even know the name of.
 * There's only so many names it could be. Which just need to figure out which one.
 * You mean figure out sand-which one.
 * Dude, stop with the puns.
 * I can't! I've fallen down the pun hole! I've gone so deep I'm pundergound! What a punfortunate turn of events. I've pundermined any respect you had for me! I don't punderstand why I--
 * Ow! Dude, I know it was annoying, but it didn't warrant a punch.
 * Oww! That wasn't even a pun! That's just what that word is!
 * You mean figure out sand-which one.
 * Dude, stop with the puns.
 * I can't! I've fallen down the pun hole! I've gone so deep I'm pundergound! What a punfortunate turn of events. I've pundermined any respect you had for me! I don't punderstand why I--
 * Ow! Dude, I know it was annoying, but it didn't warrant a punch.
 * Oww! That wasn't even a pun! That's just what that word is!
 * Oww! That wasn't even a pun! That's just what that word is!
 * Oww! That wasn't even a pun! That's just what that word is!

Sidetrack to Success

 * So, the plan is, you guys get hired at Joyful Burger.
 * Why don't you get hired?
 * I can't.
 * Why?
 * Uh... Because of my medical condition?
 * Really?
 * Well, I get this allergic reaction to effort. The symptoms are dangling arms, constant eye rolls, and a breathing problem that makes me sigh a lot.
 * Being lazy is not a disease, Dad.
 * No, it's true! I really have a-- Oh, I can't be bothered to finish that sentence. I'll give you twenty bucks if you do it.
 * Wow, you've reached a whole new level of laziness. You've invented the reverse job. But okay. So what? We get hired, and then we look for the name of the secret burger?
 * They won't just tell anyone. They'll need to trust you. So first, you have to be the best employees ever.
 * I don't know what that secret ingredient is, but the customers just love your burgers!
 * The secret ingredient is love.
 * Great job! The board wants you two as managers. There's only one problem, you need to halve our labor costs.
 * & : Ah!
 * Great job! The board wants you as senior members. There's only one problem, you need to double production.
 * & : Ah!
 * & : Ah!
 * Great job! The board wants you as our new CEOs. There's only one problem, you still have hearts.
 * & : Ah!
 * And in other news, business moguls Gumball and Darwin Watterson have sold their Joyful Burger shares for a whopping four point six billion dollars. Our reporter has an exclusive interview from their lavish new mansion.
 * So, how do you feel about your success?
 * It's cool. I mean, I like the big house, but it's kinda hard to communicate with each other.
 * Gumball, can you pass me the salt please?
 * See, I asked him that last week.
 * Oh, one moment.
 * Sorry. You were saying?
 * What gave you the idea of getting into into the fast-food industry in the first place?
 * Well, it all started when my father wanted to try a secret burger, and...
 * We got completely sidetracked.
 * So, how do you feel about your success?
 * It's cool. I mean, I like the big house, but it's kinda hard to communicate with each other.
 * Gumball, can you pass me the salt please?
 * See, I asked him that last week.
 * Oh, one moment.
 * Sorry. You were saying?
 * What gave you the idea of getting into into the fast-food industry in the first place?
 * Well, it all started when my father wanted to try a secret burger, and...
 * We got completely sidetracked.
 * We got completely sidetracked.
 * We got completely sidetracked.

Hostage Negotiation

 * Ah! Huh?
 * Huh? Wha?
 * Tell us the name of the secret burger.
 * Uh, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but there's no point disguising your voice if you're not wearing any masks.
 * Dad, is the deep-fryer on?
 * You can do whatever you like, but I'll never talk!
 * Oh, we know there's nothing we can do to you to make you talk. That's why we brought him.
 * No! Not Burgie!
 * What are you doing?!
 * No! Burgie can't be seen eating our competitor's food! Please stop! I can't lose this job! I only have thirty-seven others!
 * Ah! Please! Burgie would never betray the brand!
 * NOO! Burgie is a friend to all the children!
 * Hm?
 * What? That's just how nuggets are made.
 * All right. You asked for it.
 * No, no! You can't eat Burgie's fingers!
 * Anything is edible, if you deep-fry it long enough. I was wrong.
 * Okay, okay, stop! I'll tell you! There is a secret burger, but to be deemed worthy enough to know its name, first you have to eat a burger from every Joyful Burger in Elmore.
 * Done!
 * In one hour!
 * Hm?
 * What? That's just how nuggets are made.
 * All right. You asked for it.
 * No, no! You can't eat Burgie's fingers!
 * Anything is edible, if you deep-fry it long enough. I was wrong.
 * Okay, okay, stop! I'll tell you! There is a secret burger, but to be deemed worthy enough to know its name, first you have to eat a burger from every Joyful Burger in Elmore.
 * Done!
 * In one hour!
 * In one hour!

Supersize Me

 * & : Dad!
 * What's going on with your face?!
 * What's that?
 * Sweat made out of lard.
 * You won't fit!
 * I've got this.
 * Ohh, what is that now?
 * Sweeze.
 * Okay but please don't tell us what that--
 * Sward made out of cheese.
 * It will lubricate my body. Now, push!
 * Did you really have to supersize that last meal?
 * I'm sorry! It was just really good value.
 * Darn it. We're gonna have to run.
 * NOO!
 * It's okay, Mr. Dad. That's the beauty of corporate mega-chains destroying our neighborhoods. There's always another one right across the street.
 * Like I said... NOO!
 * I think I smell burning.
 * That's good. He's burning calories.
 * No, it's just my thighs rubbing together.
 * W-w-wait! You can't eat that!
 * Aww.
 * Huh, what do you know. There's more nutritional value in the toy than the food.
 * & : Come on, Dad! You're almost there! You just gotta make it to the counter!
 * & : Come on, you can make it!
 * Mr. Dad! What's wrong?!
 * My heart!
 * Nah, it's cool. It's still beating.
 * Sir, you've earned this. I give you... The M'Guffin.
 * Look at it! It's like it's made of light!
 * No, that's a regular burger, just grosser than usual.
 * & : Come on, Dad! You're almost there! You just gotta make it to the counter!
 * & : Come on, you can make it!
 * Mr. Dad! What's wrong?!
 * My heart!
 * Nah, it's cool. It's still beating.
 * Sir, you've earned this. I give you... The M'Guffin.
 * Look at it! It's like it's made of light!
 * No, that's a regular burger, just grosser than usual.
 * Sir, you've earned this. I give you... The M'Guffin.
 * Look at it! It's like it's made of light!
 * No, that's a regular burger, just grosser than usual.
 * No, that's a regular burger, just grosser than usual.