Witch Way Did She Go?

(The scene opens with the gang gathered at a table in Sadira’s lair. Sadira is looking through her cabinet.)

Sadira: Where is that recipe? Evil spell, evil spell, evil spell… Aha! Soup! (Opens the scroll and adds each ingredient into a stew) Let’s see. Two mushrooms, three dates. (The oven starts smoking. Sadira sniffs as everything begins to shake. The recipe is shaken off the table and replaced by another, which Sadira misses.) My bread! (Serves bread to the gang.) It’s a little burned, but I think it’ll be okay. Go ahead and start.

Aladdin: (tries in vain to cut the bread after Sadira returns to the stew) It’s a little hard! (Stabs bread) I think I just broke the knife!

Genie: (turns into a knight as Aladdin tries to pull the knife from the bread) Whosoever pulleth yon blade from yon bread shall true king of England be.

Abu: (Goes and removes knife from bread, obviously with Genie’s magic help. A crown appears on his head.

Genie: (Bows) My liege.

Sadira: Add two sand slugs? Ew! Well, maybe it’s some kind of delicacy.

Iago: (to Jasmine) Look. I know you and Sadira are all buddy-buddy now, but I don’t trust her.

(Sadira’s stew puffs one purple cloud.)

Iago: She’s gonna turn us all into frogs or something!

Jasmine: Iago! Sadira’s our friend, and we’re her guests. Just take small portions.

Aladdin: Iago could be right. Maybe she’s using your friendship to try to steal me away from you!

Jasmine: Oh please.

Sadira: (Approaches the gang with a pot of soup.) Who wants to taste the soup?

(The gang takes turns pointing at each other before the bowl is finally placed before Iago.)

Iago: (Bashfully tries the soup.) Hey! This is real good!

Sadira: Honest?

Iago: It’s got a light smoky flavor. Delicate, yet assertive. (Finishes it off in one gulp. He burps, and his body turns into an hourglass.) Ahhh!! (He runs screaming around the table.)

Sadira: (Gasps)

Aladdin: (Angrily) Sadira! Change him back!

Sadira: I can’t! I don’t know what I did!

Iago: Oh this is great! You really know how to throw a party!

Aladdin: Genie, change Iago back!

Genie: Sorry, Al. You can’t mix sand magic with genie magic. (Turns into big, powerful genie) It might unravel the fabric of the universe and annihilate all life! (Returns to normal) Besides, it’s against union rules.

Sadira: (Looks at the scroll) Ohh, I must have gotten the scrolls mixed up.

Aladdin: (To Jasmine) Didn’t I tell you she was up to something?

Sadira: Sorry, Iago. I guess I’m about as good at food as I am with magic. But you’ll change back when the sand runs out… I think.

Iago: This is your professional opinion? Why am I not reassured?

Jasmine: Accidents happen, Sadira. Come on, let’s have dinner at the palace. Rajah would enjoy the company.

Sadira: Okay. That would be nice. Wait! I’d better dump this stuff before it causes more trouble. (Goes in the back and dumps the stew out.) Now let’s get some real food!

Iago: (In Genie's hand as they leave.) What do time pieces eat anyways? I’m starved!

Genie: Careful… You don’t want to lose that hourglass figure!

Iago: Oh, you’re a riot, you know that? Why don’t you just quit this genie gig and go into standup!

(Meanwhile, three witches rise up from the stew)

Witch 1: At last! After a thousand years!… Freedom!!

(The three of them laugh, and the scene changes to Jasmine’s garden, where Iago and Abu are by the fountain.)

Iago: Any second, I’ll be back to normal. Unless… Unless Sadira was wrong! Then... (Becomes frantic as the last sands fall) I don’t want to die!! Please please please! I promise! I’ll be a better bird! I’ll get an honest job! I’ll work with orphans on weekends! (Returns to normal.) Yup, that “I’ll be a better bird” baloney always works.

(A snake materializes by the fountain and slithers threateningly towards the two animals, who frantically clutch each other)

Iago: No, this time I really mean it! I’ll be good! I promise!!

(The snake slithers away.)

Iago: Great. Big snake. Get the kid!

(The snake slithers on, scanning the palace. We see the witches looking through the snake’s eyes through a portal, still in Sadira’s lair.)

Witch 1: Move on… (The snake sees the throne room.) Yesssss.

(Aladdin, Abu, and Iago appear.)

Iago: (Lugging a sword) Take the sword. Take the sword!

Aladdin: So where’s this “snake” you wanted me to see?

(Abu points, and the snake faces them and approaches them.)

Iago: You sure you don’t want the sword?

(Aladdin takes the sword and leaps from the throne room. The snake pursues him as he swings at it. We see the witches again, and Witch 1 waves her hand. The snake disintegrates.)

Aladdin: Huh? It was made of… sand?

(A much larger snake appears behind the guys.)

Witch 1: (Laughs)

(The snake pursues them. Aladdin falls backwards and drops the lamp, summoning Genie.)

Genie: (Appears dressed as a dentist and puts snake in patient chair for a checkup.) What a nasty overbite! Uh huh! (Clicks tongue.) Haven’t been flossing, have we?

(The snake constricts Genie, flinging him every which way and into the fountain, splashing water all over Aladdin, Abu, and Iago.)

Aladdin: (Recovering from coughing.) If it’s made of sand… Water! Genie, water!

Genie: (Removes head from the fountain.) Right! Good thinking, Al! A little lemon and… (Gulps up the fountain water, becoming huge) Talk about retaining water!

Aladdin: Now Genie!

(Genie spits out water on the snake, and it turns into a wet pile of sand.)

Witch 1: (Seeing this from her portal.) Nothing but weak fools. There is no one to stop us!

Aladdin: Alright, Genie! Perfect shot!

Abu: Uh huh!

Genie: And to think Mother hated it when I did that at the dinner table.

Iago: (As he hits water out of Genie’s hair.) I have never seen anything like that in my entire life!

Genie: Ah haha! Thanks, Iago!

Iago: That’s not a compliment. I think I’m gonna be sick.

Abu: (Climbs the mound of sand and chatters, pointing to it.)

Aladdin: (Suspiciously) You’re right, Abu. It’s just sand…

Genie: What’s going on here, Al?

Iago: I’d say it’s pretty simple. Sand witch turns me into an hourglass. Little sand viper, BIG sand viper. You don’t hafta be Colombo!!

Aladdin: Iago’s right. Sadira attacked us! (Angrily throws sword at the sand.)

(Scene changes to Jasmine’s room, where Jasmine and Sadira are laughing, being served tea by Carpet.)

Jasmine: He does! I’m telling you, he does!

Sadira: He picks his teeth? Ew! I can’t believe I had a crush on him!

Aladdin: (Storms in and grabs Jasmine’s arm.) Get away from her, Jasmine! I don’t trust her!

Jasmine: Hey! Let go of me!

Genie: (As a cowboy, he lassoes Sadira with his hair.)

Sadira: Genie! What’s the big idea?

Genie: I guess you could say I’m the long hair of the law!

Jasmine: What is your problem?!

Aladdin: Sadira just attacked us with a sand monster in the garden!

Genie: That’s right.

Iago: A big monster!

Abu: Yeah!

Jasmine: (Releases Sadira from Genie’s hair, which turns into a scruffy afro.) She’s been with me the whole time. How could she have attacked you?

Aladdin: Hey. She’s a witch.

Jasmine: Sadira is our friend.

Aladdin: Oh, then perhaps you’d like to explain what happened to us out there.

Sadira: Well it wasn’t me! I’m not even good at magic! Look what I did to Iago!

Iago: Yeah! What about that? Maybe that was just a setup!

Abu: Yeah!

Aladdin: Maybe she did THAT just so we’d think she was incompetent!

Genie: Then, when we least expect it, WHAM! Smashed by a giant sand viper! (To Carpet) Not that you ever really expect to get smashed by a giant sand viper…

Sadira: I can’t believe you don’t trust me.

Jasmine: Well, Sadira. You can see how they might think you did it. After all, you are the only one who can control sand like that.

Sadira: Are you saying that I’m guilty?!!

Jasmine: No! No! I just meant that because it was an evil sand spell that—

Sadira: Oh, so you’re saying my sand spells are evil!

Jasmine: You don’t understand!

Sadira: I understand. I thought you were my friend. I guess I was wrong! (Storms out.)

Iago: See? Guilty as charged.

Genie: Should we stop her?

Aladdin: Yes!

Jasmine: No. She would never try to hurt us. I don’t know what happened, but Sadira didn’t do it.

(Scene changes to Sadira entering her lair.)

Sadira: I knew it was too good to last. I’ll always be a nothing. Alone again.

Witch 1: Not quite alone. (Cackle evilly, followed by the other two.)

Sadira: (Gasp.) The Witches of the Sand!

Witch 1: Yes. Once our followers numbered in the thousands, and we ruled the Seven Deserts! Now we are but three. Razili, Farida, and (motions to self) Shakata. You are... Sadira. You have learned some of our ancient ways. So Sadira, my little Witch of the Sand, what is it you want?

Sadira: Uh, I, uh…

Shakata: (Sniffs Sadira.) Friendship. You long for true friendship. Those who you thought were your friends have proven untrue.

Sadira: Yes! That’s right!

Farida: They fear you! They feared us too.

Shakata: But here we are all friends!

Sadira: Friends.

Shakata: Join us, Sadira, and you will be part of something glorious!

Sadira: What?

Razili: The grand return of the Witches of the Sand!

Farida: The sultan is weak.

Shakata: It is time to strike, reclaim our birthright, and rule the Seven Deserts once more! Will you help us?

Sadira: Uh.

Shakata: Perhaps you should take some time to consider this.

Sadira: Um, alright?

Shakata: We must hurry, ladies. There is much to prepare.

(Farida and Razili roll in a wheel-shaped item.)

Razili: (To Shakata) The little fool was using this to prop up her oven!

(Sadira hears this and runs.)

Farida: She’s leaving! We must stop her!

Shakata: She’ll be back.

Sadira: (Running) I’ve got to warn Aladdin and Jasmine!

(Scene changes to Jasmine’s garden to where the gang is congregating around the pile of sand that was once the larger snake.)

Aladdin: Now, who else could make a sand viper to attack us? You said it yourself, Jasmine. Only Sadira knows those sand spells.

Jasmine: That doesn’t mean Sadira did it.

Genie: (As a computer nerd at a desk and computer.) I did an extensive search, and she’s the ONLY person who fits the bill. She’s got a rap sheet as long as my arm. (Spreads out a pile of papers as wide as his armspan.) Summoning sand beasts, mesmerizing Aladdin, (briefly hypnotizes Aladdin, who gasps) jaywalking.

Jasmine: I don’t care. She didn’t do it! (Starts walking away)

Aladdin: She’s tried this before!

Jasmine: Sadira’s changed! She’s our friend now.

Aladdin: If it wasn’t her, then who was it?

Jasmine: I… (hopelessly stops walking) don’t know.

Aladdin: (Comfortingly approaches her.) I know it’s hard to accept, but that’s what’s happened.

Jasmine: Maybe you’re right… Sadira did attack you.

Genie: Uh, oh.

(Jasmine gasps as the camera pans to Sadira, standing, insulted, by the gang. She cries and disintegrates into a pile of sand. Jasmine runs morosely to the sand and realizes Sadira is gone.)

Genie: What now?

Aladdin: Now we find Sadira!

(Scene changes to Sadira running back into her lair.)

Sadira: Shakata! Shakata! Shaka—

(Sadira nearly runs into Shakata.)

Shakata: I’ve been expecting you.

Sadira: Yes. I, I want to join you!

Shakata: So, Sadira. You are a true Witch of the Sand! (Her eyes glow blue.)

Sadira: Yes, and I want to help you.

Farida: Oh, I’m so glad you’ll help us mercilessly crush Agrabah! It’ll be ever so much fun!

Shakata: My sisters, the time has come. (She approaches the wheel from before.) Portal to the Realm of Mists! I bid you! Open! (The wheel disappears, revealing a hole from which floats a staff with a skull-like top.) Yes! Ahhh, safely hidden these many centuries. The Staff... of Doom!!

(The camera reveals Aladdin and the gang hiding close by in the lair.)

Shakata: What an honor to witness the rebirth of the City of Sand!

(The wheel, reappeared, elevates, and the three witches step onto it.)

Farida: Join us dear. You’ll want to later say you helped the Witches of the Sand return to power!

Aladdin: Let’s get ‘em!

(Aladdin and the gang race towards the witches, but Sadira makes fists out of sand that grab all of them.)

Genie: (Before Aladdin is captured.) Run, Al!

Shakata: Fools! You think you can defeat the Witches of the Sand.

Jasmine: Aladdin was right. I see what kind of friend you are.

Sadira: I’d better guard the prisoners while you attack the palace!

Shakata: Ha ha ha ha. Do you not know where you are, young one? This IS a palace!

(A green beam of light shoots up from the wheel, and the ground shakes.)

Jasmine: Are we… moving?

(The lair rises surrounded by a series of tall black towers, which surround the city. The citizens cry in fear and run.)

Aladdin: We’ve got to stop them! … Before they destroy the whole city.

(Sadira releases the gang.)

Aladdin: Sadira, what are you doing?!

Sadira: (Runs to them.) Get out of here! I’ll take care of the witches.

Jasmine: What do you mean?

Sadira: You guys wouldn’t help, so I had to do this on my own! I fooled the witches into thinking I’m on their side. Now go!

(Aladdin seizes Sadira, and she struggles.)

Jasmine: Aladdin, maybe it's the truth!

Aladdin: I’m not taking any chances. I don’t know what her game is, but she’s will not fool me again! Genie take care of her!

Sadira: (As Genie chains her up and locks her up in a treasure chest.) But please! You don’t understand! (Genie boots the chest out the window.) Aladdin!

Aladdin: Come on, Carpet!

(The two try to remove the staff from the wheel as the terror ensues. Genie tries to help by turning his bottom half into a pulley and pulling, but he is thrown backwards. The staff does not budge. The whole gang starts pulling.)

Aladdin: (Struggling) Come… On!

(The gang finally pulls hard enough, and the staff is released. The terror pauses.)

Shakata: What? Get them! Get the staff!

(Iago and Abu become trapped in sand. Razili makes a pair of handcuffs out of sand and throws it at Aladdin. Carpet intercepts it and throws it at Farida who screams as she becomes cuffed. Shakata looms over Aladdin. Genie yelps and head butts her to a wall.)

Shakata: You anger me, Genie!

(Genie gives her raspberries with his tongue. She rolls a wind of sand at him, but he blocks it with a shield and chuckles. She has sand punch him from behind and then throw him against a wall. Meanwhile, Razili escapes the handcuffs by turning into sand and then reappearing at her witches’ sides. The three of them collectively, through their glowing fingertips, send a mass of sand to knock him against the wall again. Carpet is caught by an arm of sand from trying to free the animals. The witches then send a mass of sand towards Aladdin and Jasmine, but Genie intercepts it and rides it like a bucking bronco.)

Genie: Run, you guys! Doh! Ooh! Ooh! Dow! Oh ho! Take the staff and get out of here!

(Jasmine and Aladdin start to run but are knocked down by a wave of sand and handcuffed. Genie is also hit and handcuffed.)

Sadira: Locking me up in chains? What were you thinking? I’m a street rat! I’ve been picking locks since I was five. I’m through with you creeps.

Razili: Good going, sister!

Shakata: Now to be done with these fools!

Sadira: No! … Don’t KILL them. I have a better idea. Open the portal to the Realm of Mists!

Razili: What an utterly twisted idea! I like this girl!

Shakata: (Approaches the portal.) Portal to the Realm of Mists! I bid you! Open!

(The portal opens and sucks Aladdin, Jasmine, and Genie towards it.)

Shakata: Prepare to spend an eternity of agony in the Realm of Mists!

(Sadira ambushes the witches and hits them with the staff into the portal. On her way down, Shakata grabs Sadira and pulls her with her. Sadira yelps and grabs hold of the edge.)

Shakata: Betrayer! You. Will. Pay!!

(Sadira releases the gang with a clutch of her hand, and her hold slips.)

Aladdin: Sadira!

(Aladdin rushes after her, reaches down, and grabs her hand. He grunts and struggles to hold her as the rest of the gang go up behind him and pull as well. Sadira’s grip loosens as Shakata pulls at her.)

Sadira: Aladdin! (Her grip escapes.) Nooo!!!

(The portal closes.)

Aladdin: I don’t believe it! She saved us!

(Jasmine begins to cry as the whole gang saddens.)

Iago: She… She did that for us?

Genie: Yeah. And we treated her like dirt. Like vermin! Like filthy, disgusting—

Iago: Okay! We get the idea!

Abu: (Moans sadly.)

(The gang starts walking away, but portal suddenly opens, and Sadira leaps out, still being held by Shakata.)

Sadira: Portal close! Now!

Shakata: (as the portal closes and she falls.) Noooo!

(The gang rushes back.)

Jasmine: Sadira?

Sadira: Yeah! This staff is pretty handy!

Aladdin: Sadira, I’m—

Jasmine: We’re so sorry.

(A group hug ensues.)

Genie: Alright! Dog pile on Sadira! (He gives them all a huge hug. Sadira yelps playfully.)

(The scene changes to a palace balcony, where Genie is dressed like a conductor.)

Genie: All together now! With feeling!

(Genie sings “The Blue Danube” and conducts the towers throughout the city to return back into the ground. Meanwhile, behind him inside, Iago expresses doubts to Aladdin.)

Iago: You wanna trust her? Fine. But take away the staff. She’ll use it against us! If you don’t, you’ll regret it.

Aladdin: Relax, Iago.

Iago: Okay! Ignore my advice! Fine!

(Sadira overhears and smiles playfully. She bonks Iago on the head, and his body turns into an hourglass once more.)

Sadira: You’re right, Iago. No one can be trusted with this staff! (She breaks it on her knee.)

Iago: No! Oh, come on! Glue the staff back together and change me back! Hey! I’m not asking for this! I’m begging!!

(The scene fades out as Iago hops around and the gang, minus the hard-at-work Genie, laughs.)