Eric Hollywood

Opening Credits

[SCENE – Theatre. Eric has just finished making the balcony and walks over to Judy, who is getting her costume for Juliet hemmed]

Eric: Yep. Without me, Judy, your pretty little legs wouldn’t have a balcony to stand on.

Judy: Is it secure?

Eric: That baby’s as secure as I am. (Judy looks at him funny) Why, what? You don’t think I’m secure?

(A crashing sound is heard, following by the cry of a young man. The balcony has collapsed on top of Dylan, the production’s Romeo. Judy runs over)

Judy: Dylan, are you okay? Dylan?

Dylan: (Underneath fallen balcony) I have no feeling in my arms or legs!

Judy: Oh, great, now I’ve got no Romeo. (Drops his head)

[Enter Prof. Cookmand]

Prof. Cookmand: Who built the balcony?

Eric: Okay, in retrospect it might’ve been foolish of me to consider paste the nail’s silent cousin, but you love you learn.

Prof. Cookmand: I have 400 people coming. Not to mention Mr. Joffrey Menell, the esteemed theater critic from “The Pennysaver”! What do you suggest I do?

Eric: Well, you’re really old, why don’t you retire?

(Prof. Cookmand goes over to Dylan, who now lies unconscious on a stretcher. The paramedics are preparing the shockers)

Prof. Cookmand: Uh, Dylan? Are you sure you can’t go on?

Paramedic: Clear! (Shocks Dylan, who flies limply in place)

Prof. Cookmand: What about just the matinee? (The paramedics prepare to take Dylan away)

Eric: Okay, okay, I’ll just get some tights and take these funny little booties, here. (Takes ballet-ish shoes off Dylan’s feet) (To paramedics) Thanks… (Waves them away)

Prof. Cookmand: You Romeo? ‘Tis to laugh…

Eric: ‘Tis it? (In talented Shakespearean style) O my love. My wife. Thou art not conquered. Beauty’s ensign yet is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks. And death’s pale flag is not advanced there. (Exhales quietly, looks down with eyes shut)

Prof. Cookmand: Oh, my. That was exquisite.

Eric: Yeah, well… I’ve been building that balcony since the first rehearsal, I can do the whole play. I can do Lady Capulet, I can do Friar Lawrence, I can do Cartman. (Impersonating Cartman) I’m not fat, I’m festively plump.

Prof. Cookmand: Please, go and put your tights on.

Eric: Okay, but I do have the part, right? (Nods, walks away)

[Cut to later. The play is in progress. Jack, as Tibalt, walks across stage in costume with others. Eric, as Romeo, comes behind him and pushes him. The others walk away as Jack stops and begins the scene with Eric]

Eric: (As Romeo, great Shakespearean form) Mercutio slain? Fire-eyed fury be my conduct, now. (They slowly pace around one another) Now, Tibalt, take the villain back again, for Mercutio soul is but a little way above our heads (Angrily) waiting for thine to keep him company! Either thou, or I, or (Angrily) both must go with him!

Jack: (As Tibalt) Thou wretched boy, that didst consort him here, shall with him hence. (Draws sword)

Eric: (Draws sword) This… shall determine that. (They clash swords, bring Eric & Jack’s faces close together) (Out of character, quietly) Prepare to die, Jedi master. (They separate)

[Cut to later. The audience is applauding as the cast takes a bow. Enter Prof. Cookmand]

Prof. Cookmand: Bravo, Eric! Bravo! (Takes flowers from Judy and thrusts them into Eric’s arms) I haven’t seen such raw talent since I directed Meryl Streep in the 1977 senior class production of The Meryl Streep Show.

Judy: Eric, you were amazing.

Eric: (To Judy) You know something? You didn’t like me at all until I became Romeo, did you? (Walks to center stage with Judy. They’re in front of the crowd) But now all of a sudden all these people are applauding for me and that impresses you. You know, there’s a name for people like you.

Judy: Really, what?

Eric: Misses Eric Matthews. (Hands flowers back to Judy, they both bow)

[SCENE – Matthew’s kitchen. Alan, Amy, and Morgan are at the table with several newspapers sprawled in front of them. Eric enters]

Eric: I finally found my niece.

Alan: You mean niche.

Eric: (Shrugs) Probably.

Alan: (Deadpan) Unbelievable.

Amy: These reviews are incredible.

Eric: Look, mom, if you’re going to pay attention to the good reviews, you have to look ate the bad ones. (Hands Amy a newspaper)

Morgan: But there are no bad ones.

Eric: (Giddily, to Morgan) I know! (Giggles, sits next to Morgan)

Amy: Listen to this: “Matthews’ King Lear rules… Matthews’ performance could tame any shrew…” (To Eric) Promise me you won’t let these things go to your head.

Eric: I would never.

Amy: (Looking at paper) Oh, look, Bloomingdale’s is having a whites sale.

Eric: (Snatches and crumples paper) That’s not about me!!

[SCENE – Jack, Eric, and Shawn’s apartment. Shawn enters from bedrooms]

Shawn: (Calling) Come on, Jack! Cory’s gonna be here like… (Doorbell buzzes) now. Get your coat! (Opens the door, it’s Topanga) Topanga. What’re you doing here?

Topanga: (Steps in) There’s something I want to talk to you about.

Shawn: Well, actually, we were just on our way out.

Topanga: I just want to make sure you and I are okay.

Shawn: Yeah. Yeah, we’re okay. Why? (Shuts door)

Topanga: Well, I know since Cory and I broke up things have been kind of weird between us. (Jack enters from bedrooms) I care about being your friend. (Turns to Jack, noticed the dots on his face) Jack! What happened to your face?

Jack: Apparently she doesn’t care about being my friend.

Shawn: We’re on our way to a basketball game, now’s not the time to be making fun of Jack’s face.

Topanga: No, he’s not going anywhere. (Walks closer to Jack) Those look like chicken pox. Do they itch?

Jack: No, not really. (Shows arm, which is also covered in dots) However, these are a little irritating. (Scratched them)

Topanga: Alright, you’ve got it. This is serious. If you don’t take care of these now you could get really sick.

Jack: I don’t wanna die.

Shawn: (To Jack) Nobody’s dying. We are going to the game. (Doorbell buzzes) That’s Cory.

Topanga: No! Cory, don’t come in here! (Chains door shut)

Cory: Okay. Topanga, what are you doing in there? (Tries to open door, but chain only lets it open a few inches)

Shawn: (Topangs slams door shut) Trying to keep us from going to see the Sixers!

Topanga: Cory, they have chicken pox, runs away or you could catch them!

Shawn: Save your breath, Topanga, he is not going to listen to you. (Unchains door and opens it just in time to see the elevator closing with Cory inside) I can’t believe how whipped that boy is. (To Topanga) And what do you mean “they have chicken pox”?

Jack: (Scratching) I don’t wanna die.

Topanga: (Shuts door) You’re not going to die. I’m going to stay here and take care of both of you. (To Shawn) Jack has full-blown chicken pox, and you have half-blown chicken pox.

Shawn: That is so ridiculous. Okay, if I have chicken pox where are my dots?

Topanga: (Lifts up Shawn’s shirt, revealing many dots) Should I connect the for you?

Jack: Oh man, you’re dying worse than I am.

Shawn: I feel fine. So I have dots…

Topanga: That’s because it hasn’t hit you yet. When I had it I had dots, a fever, and I couldn’t stand on my own two feet.

Shawn: At any time during this sickness, did you ever get quiet?

Topanga: I’ll excuse that because I know you’re sick.

Shawn: I am not sick. I have never felt better. (Steps past Topanga, but stops, looking woozy) Or perhaps I have. Put out your arms, now. (He falls into Topanga’s outstretched arms, but they both fall onto the couch)

[SCENE – Theater. After the play, the theater is empty except for Alan, Amy, and Feeny, who are waiting for Eric. Eric finally runs on from backstage.]

Amy: Oh, there he is.

Alan: (Laughs) Oh! (Applauds, Amy hugs him) You know, the real tragedy, tonight, is that Williams Shakespeare couldn’t be here to see how good you are!

Eric: He’ll come tomorrow, I mean, we’re here all week.

Alan: (Dumbfounded) Unbelievable.

Amy: I cannot believe how deeply you feel up there, Eric, I mean when you jumped into Ophelia’s grave, overcome with emotion, and then wept openly, where did you get your motivation?

Eric: (Takes script from pocket) They got it right here in the script. Look it… (Shows Amy text) “Weeps openly,” I mean, they tell you what to do! (Laughs)

Feeny: A true thespian.

[Enter Prof. Cookmand with 3 men, Dixon, Kramdenson, Frasier]

Prof. Cookmand: Eric, there are three gentlemen here who want to talk to you about your future.

Eric: (Excited) Are they gypsies?

Dixon: Randolph Dixon, Juliard. (Holds out hand and Eric shakes it).

Eric: (To Feeny) Wha’s that?

Feeny: The most prestigious acting school in the country.

Kramdenson: Sir Ralph Kramdenson, R.S.C. (Holds out hand and Eric shakes it).

Eric: (To Feeny) Wha’s that?

Feeny: Royal Shakespeare Company, the most famous theatrical company in the world.

Frasier: Excuse me. (Pushes past Kramdenson and Dixon) Matt Fraiser, ABC. (Holds out hand and Eric shakes it)

Feeny: Wha’s that?

Eric: The American Broadcasting Company, the number one network alphabetically in the world. (Feeny nods)

Frasier: How would you like to come to Hollywood and be on television?

Eric: (Points to self) Me?! In the TV?! (Frasier nods, Eric turns to Feeny with a open-mouthed grin)

[SCENE – Filming Studios in California. The scene begins with a montage of Eric and Feeny driving around in a golf cart. Eric, looking ridiculously excited, hangs out of the golf cart before it stops and he jumps out. As they pass the Seinfeld soundstage, Eric sits. They then pass the 3rd Rock From the Sun soundstage. Cut to Eric, out of the golf cart, picks up a pay phone. Two men then take the phone from him, put it back on the hook, and pick up and carry the phone away. Eric is really surprised and happy with this, maintaining the same open-mouth grin. Feeny looks bored. Eric then sees a pretty girl in costume and slows down to ogle her. After she passed, he stumbled towards the golf cart, still transfixed, gets in a urges Feeny forward, pointing at an actor in scrubs as they pass. They pass three actors dressed as cowboys and approach the Kid Gets Acquainted With Universe soundstage. As they do so, Eric stands and points, but Feeny pulls him back down. They slow to a stop in front of the entrance]

Eric: I’m home. This is where I belong. Thanks for coming with me, Mr. Feeny. It would’ve so uncool if my parents came.

Feeny: Well, I’m just here to see that you get settled. Now remember, keep both your feet on the ground. This town is swimming with sharks. (Gets out of cart)

Eric: Hey! Stop attack my town. The people here are real down-to-Earth, good kindly folk. (Another cart rams Eric’s forward. The driver of the cart is Lindsay Ridgeway’s actor parody with a rough voice)

Lindsay: Hey! Get out of my space!

Eric: (Gets out of cart) There’s one of them now! Hi, nice person. (Waves)

Lindsay: What do I have to do, call my attorney? (Rams Eric’s cart again) Get out of my space! (Rams Eric’s cart a third time, then is satisfied and stops) Thank you. (Gets out of cart)

Feeny: (Insincere) You’re welcome. Who might you be, little girl?

Lindsay: I’m not a little girl, I’m 42. I just play little girls on TV. They need a little sister on television* they trot me out, you know? But what am I supposed to do? (Takes off sunglasses) (Sings horribly) Three kids in college, a husband who’s a lush. And the doctor says… I might be growing! (Stops singing) Thanks for listening. You’re a sweet kid. (Walks towards soundstage, but stops to pinch Eric’s behind) Hello! (Exits)

Feeny: Eric, are you sure you want to go through with this?

Eric: (Dazed) Oh, more than anything! (Runs into soundstage)

[SCENE – Eric, Jack, & Shawn’s apartment. Topanga is reading a book to Jack, who’s head is pitifully on her lap. Shawn stands watching in the kitchen]

Topanga: (Reading, on the verge of tears) “And as he looked into her dying eyes, he gently cradled her dying head. He knew they would be together again someday…”

Jack: (On the verge of tears) In heaven?

Topanga: (On verge of tears) Yes! (Grabs tissue, hands it to Jack)

Shawn: (Scratching arm) Okay, Topanga, that’s very nice. My brother and I appreciate everything you’re doing for us, but we’re all better now, so the next time we get chicken pox we’ll give you a call.

Topanga: Shawn, stop scratching.

Shawn: (Bearing his teeth through discomfort) Topanga… I really don’t want your help.

Jack: (Sits up) Well I do, Shawn. Topanga’s a good nurse. (Feels head) My fever’s down to malaria-level. I think I can go back to my village, now… (Falls backwards onto couch)

Topanga: He’s delirious… Jack? You can’t get off this couch, okay?

Jack: (Slurred) Okay… I don’t care what he says, I want you to stay.

Shawn: (Shakes head) Jack…

Topanga: (Stands) Shawn, it’s okay. He doesn’t know what he’s saying, it’s the fever talking.

Jack: (Slurred) That’s not right. He doesn’t want to be friends with you because you broke up with Cory. That means you were never really friends. No friends… No friends at all… (Collapses onto pillow)

Topanga: Though it seems to be a very perceptive fever, doesn’t it?

[SCENE – Kid Gets Acquainted With Universe soundstage. Eric & Feeny walk towards the living room set. Frasier spots him]

Frasier: Hey, Eric! Hey, come here, buddy! (Puts arm around him) Meet some of the cast of your new family for the next hundred episodes. I hope, I hope, I hoooooope! (To cast) Hey, guys. This is Eric Matthews. He’s gonna be playing the role of the long lost brother. He’s come all the way from Philadelphia to try out, let’s make him feel welcome. (Goes to Ben Savage’s actor parody, who is looking mean and reading a newspaper) This is our star, Ben Sandwich. Hey, maybe you’ve heard of his brother? Bread Sandwich?

Eric: Oh, from that show! (Holds hand to Ben)

Ben: Yeah! Hey, how you doin’? (Stands, Frasier backs off) Listen… (Puts arm around Eric & gets really close, speaking quietly) Let me tell you what this show is not. This is not “Long Lost Brother Gets Acquainted with the Universe,” okay?

Eric: (Unsure) Okay… (Ben walks away) (Frasier pats Eric, then walks away) (Eric approaches Rider Strong’s actor parody, Schneider, and holds out his hand) How ya doin’?

Schneider: (In fetal position on couch) Sometimes I get shy. People who aren’t shy make me nervous.

[Set door flies open, revealing a posed actor parody of Danielle Fishel]

Danielle: (Super happy) Hi!!

Schneider: (To self) Oh no, it’s her…

Danielle: Oh, are you the new guy?

Eric: Yeah.

Danielle: Hi! Welcome! (Hugs Eric) Have you met Schneider? Schneider is very shy. (Hugs Schneider on couch)

Schneider: Too close, too close, too close, too close…

Danielle: (To Eric) Deep down, I’m shy, too. I’m a wounded bird. Schneider and me are wounded birds… (Cuddles on Schneider)

Schneider: (To Eric, raspy voice) Help me!

(Eric steps away, but right into the arms of Matthew Lawrence’s actor parody, who looks tough in a leather jacket)

Matt: (Holding Eric’s shoulder) Why they need you?

Eric: What?

Matt: Well, they got me already, why they need you?

Eric: Oh, actually they just told me…

Matt: (Interrupting angrily) They got me! This doesn’t make any sense. They got me, why do they need you? (Realizes his hands are empty) Where’s my banana? (Calling out) Is it or is it no 2:15? Hey, banana boy? Where’s my banana boy? (Sees someone) Alright, mango boy, you’re promoted, baby. (Walks away)

Eric: (To self) Nutty, okay… Mr. Feeny, these people are… (realizes Feeny isn’t nearby) Mr. Feeny?

[Cut to classroom set. Feeny is inspecting it with Frasier watching]

Feeny: You call this a classroom? There are only 9 desks! Are we supposed to believe there are only 9 students in the whole class?

Frasier: Well, actually, camera angles will make it appear to be more.

Feeny: That’s diabolical!

Frasier: (Laughs, walks from classroom set to in front of living room set. As he does so, he talks) Alright everybody, let’s show Eric how it’s done! Into costumes, c’mon!

[In living room set, Ben & Schneider take begin to take off their shirts]

Ben: Hey, Schneider. Listen, maybe you can give me a little something to play off today, okay? Huh? You dead person. You silent freak. You know, I am so sick and tired of carrying this show. (They trade shirts and put them on)

Schneider: I’m sorry, Mr. Sandwich, please don’t be upset with me. I need this job so I can pay for college and get an education.

Ben: (Laughs) An education? Son, listen. This show goes four years, they’ll give you an honorary degree. You’ll be Doctor Creepy-Weirdo.

Frasier: C’mon, places! (Eric walks off the set and Schneider & Ben take their places) Three… two… one… action.

Schneider: (Reading from script, as Shane) Look, Rory. All you have to do is get the keys to your father’s car and his credit card…

Ben: (from script, as Rory) I don’t know, Shane. I got a real bad feeling about this one. Y’know, I’ve never done anything like this befor– (Stops abruptly, looks closely at script) Oh, man! (Throws script down) (Yelling towards Frasier) We’re doing the story again?! How many times have we done this, Matt? A hundred thousand?

Schneider: (Weakly) He’s yelling again. Stop the yelling.

Ben: How can I learn so much every week, and still be so stupid?!

Schneider: (Gets into fetal position on the couch, crying) Oh… make him stop, make him stop…

Frasier: Okay, we’ll get the writers to fix it. Come one, Ben, we’ve got the best writers in town! (Schneider runs away)

Ben: That’s all I hear, Matt! They’re young! They’re hip! They’re fun! Hey! (Runs over to writers table. The writers are all small children. [Transcribers note: they are the kids of many of BMW’s people, such as Michael Jacobs & Jeff McCracken]) Do your jobs! (One kids give Ben a sad look) Oh, what’s wrong? Did I hurt your feelings? Good! Because you know what this script is? POOPY!

Kid Writer 1: It’s not poopy! You’re poopy! (Points)

Kid Writer 2: Oh boy… (Sinks in chair)

Kid Writer 3: (To Kid Writer 1) That was good thing to say, let’s just watch what happens now!

Ben: (Furious) All right, that’s it! You’re fired, all of ya! Get out! And clean out your cubbies!

Kid Writer 3: (Stands) Oh yeah?! Well you can kiss my diapered butt! (Shakes booty)

Kid Writer 4: (Throws down pencil) I am too old and too rich!

Kid Writer 5: (On cell phone) Mommy, I’m fired again. (All the kids get up and walk away from the table)

[Cut back to set]

Frasier: Okay, Eric. (Hands him script) You’re playing, Derek, right, the older, good looking, not-the-sharpest-knife-in-the-drawer, long lost brother with a heart of gold. Do you think you can play that?

Eric: Can do. Uh, you don’t mean real gold, right?

Frasier: Just like that… Okay, we ready to roll? As they say here in Hollywood, and… action. (Walks off set)

Eric: (Reading from script in Shakespearean voice) Ouchy, McGouchy, little bro! If I can’t have my lucky tube socks, I shall never pass the astronaut test! (Clenches fist)

Frasier: (Laughs, Walks on set towards Eric) That was great, Eric. I personally loved it. Don’t do it that way, okay? Don’t do Shakespeare, do you.

Eric: Wha… I don’t do Shakespeare… All I’ve ever done is Shakespeare.

Frasier: Do you, the role is you, Eric. Do you.

Eric: (Glances towards Ben, then back to Frasier) (Quietly) I don’t know how to do that.

Frasier: Just be honest. Acting is about honesty.

Eric: So… All I have to do is just stand up here and… just be honest.

Frasier: That’s it.

Eric: I can do that.

Frasier: (Gives thumbs up, backs off set) Alright. Hey, let’s take it from Ben’s line. And… action.

Ben: (Acting) I’m really sorry, Derek. But, I washed your lucky tube socks. (Takes out miniature socks from his pocket) And well… (Shrugs and flashes a cheesy grin)

Eric: (Not reading from script) you’re not sorry.

Ben: What?

Eric: What, all of a sudden the cameras are on you and you’re a different person, what’s that all about?

Ben: (To Frasier) What?

Frasier: What?

Eric: (To Ben) I just saw the way you were acting to the writers over there. I mean, you’re just mean! (Shakespearean) Methinks you shrunk my socks on purpose. (Turns to Frasier offstage) Like that?

Frasier: (Angrily) And cut!

[SCENE – Outside Kid Gets Acquainted with Universe soundstage. The door is shutting. Eric and Feeny sit nearby, side by side.]

Eric: Sorry for dragging you out to California, Mr. Feeny. I had no idea the Windy City would be so cruel.

Feeny: Eric, just because Mr. Frasier didn’t like your performance and we got thrown out of the studio, doesn’t mean you weren’t good. That’s just one man’s opinion.

Eric: Well, what’s your opinion?

Feeny: Same as his. But what you have to understand is that what comes easily goes just as easily. I mean, if you want to be an actor badly enough, you have to take classes, study for years, face rejection on a daily basis, and then after ten thousand no’s, there might be a glimmer of a chance that someone might say yes.

Eric: (Nods, thinking) Next I wanna be… the heavyweight champion of the world.

Feeny: Great, let’s go home. (Pats Eric, stands)

Eric: Okay. (They get up and walk away as the camera pans to the Kid Gets Acquainted with Universe sign on the soundstage door)

[SCENE – Jack, Eric, and Shawn’s apartment. Shawn lies on the couch, still sick but slightly better. Jack enters from the bedrooms, looking much healthier]

Jack: Hey, bud. Goin’ to the grocery store, you want anything?

Shawn: No, thanks for asking.

Jack: Welcome. Hey, sure there’s nothing you need, right? Like maybe to call up a friend and tell her you’re sorry.

Shawn: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Jack: Oh, you know the one I mean. (Sits on couch) Come on, she took care of us, she was here for a couple of days, now she hasn’t been around. You know the one I mean. Her name rhymes with No-shpanga.

Shawn: It’s not my fault, Jack. This is what happens when you’re friends with a couple and they break up. You’re forced to choose sides. And Cory’s my best friend.

Jack: Yeah, I’m sure she realizes that. (Stands)

Shawn: Well, yeah, thanks to you.

Jack: Hey, look, my temperature was like 112, you know I didn’t know what I was saying.

Shawn: It’s okay. I’m sure she felt uncomfortable, too. She’s not coming back.

Jack: (Opens door, Topanga is there holding grocery bags) Yeah, you’re probably right. (To Topanga) Hey, there’s my favorite nurse. (Hugs her) Thank you. (Exits)

Topanga: (Shawn sits up) Look, Shawn. (Shuts door) I know you’re in a tough situation. Cory’s your best friend.

Shawn: You know, he used to tell me how wonderful you were. But guys always say great things about their girlfriends until they break up, and that’s when the truth comes out. You know, I’ve waited fifteen years to find out what he really thinks about you. Do you wanna know what he thinks about you now that you’ve broken up?

Topanga: Shawn, I don’t wanna talk about that. I just came here to tell you that you are an unappreciative little jerk. And if you’re so uncomfortable around me that we can’t be friends now that I’m not seeing Cory, then maybe we were never really friends at all. And I want you to tell me that to my face.

Shawn: Now that you’ve broken up, he still tells me how wonderful you are. He’s completely broken hearted over what he’s lost.

Topanga: So am I.

Shawn: (Stands, sighs) Cory’s my best friend. But I want to tell you to your face that if I knew that you and I weren’t friends anymore, it’d break my heart, too.

Topanga: (Smiles) You want soup? (Gets can from bag)

Shawn: Will you feed it to me? (Topanga nods, they hug)

[TAG – Matthew’s kitchen. Eric is searching frantically through a laundry basket. Cory enters from upstairs]

Cory: What are you looking for?

Eric: I’m supposed to shoot hoops, I can’t find them anywhere.

Cory: Can’t find what?

Eric: My tube socks, my lucky tube socks. Have you, by any chance, seen them anywhere?

Cory: (Uncomfortably) Oh, uh, you’re gonna find this kind of hard to believe, Eric, but last night, for no logical reason that you could possibly think of, I did the wash instead of mom, and… well, this is so funny…

Eric: Where are my lucky tube socks?

Cory: Well, (takes out miniature socks from his pocket) I don’t think they’re so lucky anymore.

Will: (Out of character) That’s not the line.

Ben: What?

Will: The line was, “Honey, I shrunk the tube socks.”

Ben: Oh, I know, I’m sorry Will, I was trying something new.

Will: Oh, you were just trying something new, huh? Yeah. Well, why don’t you try this (throws laundry at hum), huh? Is this new?! (Throws basket on the floor) Does this look new to ya?! (Throws bowl on floor and tosses silverware that is on the table) (Yells loudly) NEW!! (Tries to tears a towel, then throws it) YEEAAHH!! It’s late, (Knocks over chair) I’m outta here! (Storms off set angrily)

[Rider enters from outside]

Rider: (Acting) Cory, Eric, guess what. I blew up another mail box. (Notices Will’s absence) (To Ben) What, Will flip out again?

Ben: (Startled) Yeah, yeah he did. What’re we gonna do? I mean, he’s gonna be hard to replace.

Rider: Yeah, you’re right. (They both look offstage) (Calling) Hey, banana boy! Wanna be a star? (Grins, then nods)

-End-