Wake Up, Little Cory

Opening Credits

[SCENE – Turner’s classroom. Turner is writing the words “Love,” “Sex,” and “Slander” on the board before his class, which consists of Cory, Shawn, and Topanga.]

Turner: (As he writes) Love! Sex! Slander! (Underlines the last word) Even thought “Much Ado About Nothing” was written 400 years ago, (Cut to the students, who are visibly bored out of their minds) Shakespeare has captured raw human emotion in a way that is still riveting today. Still has us glued to our seats.

Shawn: (Sleeping, falls out of his chair onto the floor. Cory kicks him to wake him up. He looks around, Turner looks quite displeased) You know, these chairs really aren’t the best for sleeping. (Returns to his seat)

Turner: (Incredulously) Oh, come on! You got his innocent young girl and somebody says that she slept with this other guy, right? And her reputation is shot and we think she’s killed herself. No where are you going to find this kinds of stuff?

Topanga: Melrose Place?

Shawn: NYPD Blue?

Cory: Barney? (Surprised, Turner sits on his desk. The whole class looks at Cory) (Trying to explain) My sister says he’s gotten edgier.

Topanga: Mr. Turner, we just can’t relate to these characters at all.

Turner: Why not?

Shawn: (Holds up book) Because nobody acts like this.

Cory: Just because some guy says something about some girl, the girl wants to kill herself over it? They say that stuff about Heather Locklear every week, and she doesn’t want to kill herself. She’s on the cover of TV Guide!

Turner: You right, Matthews.

Cory: (Surprised) I’m right?

Turner: No, you’re exactly right.

Cory: So am I done with my education? Can I go? (Points to door)

Turner: (Stands, begins pacing around the room) In Shakespeare’s day, the play’s the thing. Now in our day, I guess the thing is TV. So maybe, we should put ourselves on TV and ask ourselves what we think about love, sex, and slander.

Cory: You mean interview each other?

Shawn: (Becoming excited) Kinda like a documentary?

Turner: Exactly!

Shawn: Hey, you know my uncle Ralph was in a documentary. They put a big blue dot over his face and changed his voice.

Turner: (Points, as though about to say something to Shawn, then shakes his head, waves Shawn off, and continues to the class) Alright, the school’s got video equipment, let’s wear it out, okay? We’ll split into teams of two. I want a video report. Interview your friends, your families, and each other. Let’s just see who’s got the more mature attitudes… Shakespeare or us. (Sits on desk)

Cory: Us.

Turner: (Disbelievingly) Really? Okay, my mature young friends. Pick partners. (Cory turns to Shawn) Uh, boy-girl pairs? (Topanga turns to Cory, they exchange smiles)

[SCENE – Turner’s classroom after class. Turner is clearing the board when Feeny enters]

Feeny: Mr. Turner.

Turner: Ah, Mr. Feeny.

Feeny: What’s new?

Turner: (Unsure) What’s new?

Feeny: (Awkwardly, chuckling) Yes, what’s happening? What’s shaking? Wassup?

Turner: (Sits on desk) Oh, you know, teaching the kids. Molding young minds. What have you heard?

Feeny: Uh, word in the halls (Sits in nearby desk) is that you have abandoned the teaching of English in favor of sex, lies, and videotape.

Turner: Oh, well, you know, we give them these books (Picks up a book) that have these classic scenes of romance, yet we have no idea what’s going on in their heads about sex and love.

Feeny: Oh, neither do they, Mr. Turner. You are fueling a fire you should be putting out.

Turner: You can’t stop ‘em from growing up, George.

Feeny: You have given them a video camera and a license to talk to each other openly about sex. That’s growing up too fast, this isn’t our place.

Turner: Well, it’s our place to show them that classic literature still applies.

Feeny: Show them by… Oh, I don’t know, uh… teaching them.

Turner: Well, I think I can teach them better if they make the connection themselves.

Feeny: (Stands) Mr. Turner, in the matter of sex, I prefer they make no connection until they are out of our jurisdiction.

Turner: Well, don’t you think that thinking is a little antiquated, George?

Feeny: I prefer to think of it as classic.

Turner: It’s just a little project, I think it’ll be okay.

Feeny: That’s what Dr. Frankenstein said to all the curious villagers about his little project. (Exits)

[SCENE – The filming of Cory and Topanga’s videotape project. It is shown through the lens of the camera Cory has. It is currently shooting Topanga standing, with a microphone, in front of some lockers in the hallway. Throughout the scene, the camera shooting is quite wobbly]

Topanga: Hi, I’m Topanga Lawrence.

Cory: (Zooms in and out repeatedly) In Cory-vision!!

Topanga: Today we’re going to be asking friends and family how they feel about love. (Cory’s camera meanders to other students in the hall, until Topanga calls it back) Cory, what are you doing?

Cory: What am I doing? I’m adding style to our project. You gotta move the camera. Don’t you watch NYPD Blue? (Moves around to other student again. During it, Cory talks to himself) Subway… Brooklyn… Squad cars… Lots of cursing… (Feeny approaches) Mr. Feeny…

Feeny: (Shakes head) I don’t wanna know. (Walks away)

Topanga: (The camera comes by her and then passes her, darting aimlessly around the hallway) Hi, we’ll be stopping people in the hall to ask them what their personal feeling are about sex and love. (The camera finally stops on Topanga. The bell rings, but the halls are empty) (Panicked) Cory, there’s nobody in the hall!

Cory: Okay, then we’ll interview you. Topanga, how do you feel about sex?

Topanga: Me? Oh, well, some people say, “Sex: great anywhere, anytime.”

Cory: Who says that?

Topanga: (Walks towards the stairs) Every boy in the world. (Sits on the wall)

Cory: (Realizing) Oh… yeah.

Topanga: To boys, let’s face it. Sex is just a goal. It’s something they’re after and they’re not really sure why. I think sex is a part of a special kind of love that you feel for a very special person.

Cory: (Uninterested) Yeah… fine! Now let’s wake up the audience. (Runs around the hall, moving manically) It’s a chase scene! Oh yeah! We’re going!

Joey: (Enters, camera centers on him) Hey, hey, Matthews! What the heck are you doing here?

Cory: Oh, uh, we’re making a documentary. It’s about what everybody thinks about love and stuff.

Joey: Hey, that’s cool. What’s it about?

Cory: I’ll show it to you when it’s done.

Joey: Can I be in it?

Cory: You’re in it now.

Joey: You gonna ask me a question?

Cory: Okay, what do you have to say about men and women and… huh… you know?

Joey: Okay, sex is very beautiful, especially within the confines of a loving, monogamous relationship. Preferably marriage.

Cory: That’s really nice.

Joey: Hey, thanks. Is it alright if I say hi to my kids? (Smiles, jokingly, exits)

[Cut to later in the video, Topanga is talking to the camera on her microphone standing in front of the John Adams head in the hallway]

Topanga: How do you know if you’re in love? (Hold the microphone to Shawn, who is standing next to her)

Shawn: Well, love is the most amazing, rare, and precious thing in the whole world.

Topanga: Have you ever fallen in love?

Shawn: Five times a day.

(Suddenly, Harley Keiner, with Joey the Rat behind him, shoves Shawn away by the head, and slowly approaches the camera, getting in Cory’s face… er… lens)

Shawn: (As he’s shoved) Whoa!

Harley: Baboon. Joey tells me you’re shooting a documentary in my hallway. Did I say you should shoot a documentary in my hallway?

Cory: It’s okay, it’s for school.

Harley: Yeah, yeah… school. But, nevertheless, I see you shooting with the proper permits.

Cory: Permits?

Joey: (Steps forward) Yeah, I think was Harley’s gonna need here is a location fee plus an equipment rental fee.

Cory: How much is that?

Joey: How much ya got?

Cory: Three bucks.

Joey: Three bucks. But, if you let Harley pound your face, maybe we could work out a discount.

Cory: Um, Harley, y’know, maybe we can avoid all this money and face-pounding if you felt personally involved in this project.

Harley: What’re you saying?

Cory: I’m saying I’d put you in the film. Picture it: “Sex,” starring Harley Keiner.

Harley: (Smiles) Okay, baboon. Make me a star.

[Cut to moments later. Harley is standing in front of the camera in sunglasses and a leather jacket]

Cory: Okay, Harley, tell America. What do you look for in a woman?

Harley: Well, that’s a very personal subject I have many thoughts on. Joey! (Pulls him into frame) Tell ‘em what I think. (Walks away) (Joey has a hard time with words)

[Cut to later in the video. Cory is filming Topanga, leaning against a hallway wall, looking at her clipboard]

Cory: Okay, Topanga, who are we talkin’ to next?

Topanga: (Looks up, smiles) How about you?

Cory: No, no, no… I’m a behind-the-camera kinda guy.

Topanga: (Puts down the clipboard) I’ll run the camera.

Cory: (Backing away) No, I’ve established a visual style here. I’m a serious artist. No, no, no, don’t tickle me... (A hand covers the lens, it then moves in super close to Topanga’s face)

Topanga: Then give me the camera.

Cory: (Super close up on him) No, you don’t have my vision.

(The camera finally stabilizes, with Topanga supposedly controlling it. She finds Feeny up the stairs, then moves closer to him as he walks)

Topanga: Hi, Mr. Feeny. Do you have an opinion on love and sex?

Feeny: Yes, my opinion is, not on school property. (About the camera) Be careful with that valuable equipment!

[Cut to later in the video, in Turner’s classroom. Cory has regained control of the camera, and is filming Turner sitting at his desk]

Cory: What’s more important? Love or… you know… the other thing?

Turner: (Surely) Love. Love is the most important thing in the world, Matthews. And love is the only thing that makes sex worth having.

Cory: Have you ever been in love?

Turner: Not yet. But it’s something I’m hoping for and I know it’ll happen.

Cory: So have you ever had… you know… the other thing?

Turner: What?

Cory: Have you ever had… you know…? (Turner leans forward) Because you said you’ve never been in love. And if you had “you know” when you weren’t in love, then “you know” must not have been any good.

Turner: (Upset) Who are you, Mike Wallace?

[Cut to later in the film. Cory is shooting his brother, who lays on the back of the couch in a supposedly seductive pose]

Eric: Hi. I’m a romantic guy, so to me, love is very important. (Cory zooms in) And you girls will be surprised to learn that I am currently available.

Cory: Yeah, good, and if this was a dating service, I’d care. Now talk about your attitudes towards love.

Eric: Oh, I’m in favor. I’m also in favor of candlelit dinners and longs romantic walks on the beach.

Cory: Answer the question!

Eric: (Moves right into the lens) The question is, am I the guy for you?

Cory: Cut!

[Cut to later in the video, Cory is filming his parents, sitting on the couch]

Amy: Now? Hi, we’re Cory’s parents.

Alan: Yes, we are. Both of us.

(From nowhere, Eric grabs the camera and stands in front of it, blocking out all else)

Eric: And I’m Eric Matthews, the guy for you. Here’s the phone, two operators are standing by. (Gestures to his parents) Call now. (Goes away)

Cory: (To his parents) Okay, look. Here’s the deal. I need you guys to be very mature about this and talk about… you know, (spelling it) s-e-x.

Amy: On camera?

Cory: It’s for school.

Alan: What the heck are they teaching you.

Amy: I’ll go first, I’ll be very direct. Sex is like voting. (Alan laughs) It’s a privilege that you may choose to exercise when you’re old enough.

Alan: Go on.

Amy: And, you don’t want to vote for somebody you haven’t known for a really long time or have strong feelings for, because you may be stuck with that person for quite a while.

Alan: Yes, sex is like voting. You go behind a curtain, do your thing, and then you get to do it again… in four years.

[SCENE – The video editing room of John Adams High. Cory and Topanga are staying after school to edit their video. They are watching some footage of Topanga in the hall they shot earlier]

Cory: (On the TV) Topanga, how do you feel about sex?

Topanga: (On TV) Me? Oh, well, some people say, “Sex, great anywhere, anytime.”

Cory: Stop… stop. Rewind. (Topanga rewinds the tape) Listen, we have to make cuts on this. (Pushing several buttons) Tell me what you think of this.

Cory: (On the TV) Topanga, how do you feel about sex?

Topanga: (On TV) Great anywhere, anytime…

Topanga: (Choking a wheezing Cory violently) I’ll kill you!

Cory: You can’t kill me, I’m half your grade.

Topanga: (Picks up phone) This is going to take all night. (Dials phone) (To phone) Hi, Mom? I’m at Cory’s. Yeah, I’m gonna have dinner over here, okay? (Pause) Yeah, they’ll give me a ride home when we’re finished working. (Pause) Alright, bye. (Hangs up) This way, they won’t make me come home for dinner and we can get this all done.

Cory: (Picks up phone, dials) Pretty smooth, now watch the king. (Into phone) Hi, Mom? I’m at Cory’s. (Smacks face) D’oh!

Topanga: (Snatches phone) Hi, Mrs. Matthews? (Pause) Is it okay if Cory has dinner over at my house? (Pause) Yeah, we’re gonna work on the project over here, alright? (Pause) Okay. (Holds microphone to Cory’s mouth)

Cory: …Bye.

Topanga: (Hangs up phone) Nice work, “king.” (About the project) Alright, who’s next? (Cory puts a tape in the VCR)

Shawn: (On TV) Love is really great. And it’s even better if you love someone who like you better than you like her, ‘cause then she’ll pay for stuff. And if she’s paying, love is way cool.

Topanga: (Outraged) That’s disgusting!

Cory: (Proudly) He’s my best friend.

[SCENE – Video editing room, much later. Cory and Topanga look utterly exhausted]

Cory: How many more tapes? (Topanga holds up five, Cory takes the top one) Alright, what’s this one? (Reads label) You interviewed Janitor Bud? (Pops in the tape)

Janitor Bud: (On TV) What do the ladies respond to, exactly? It’s the uniform. A turn-on. (Shrugs) I can’t explain it. (His beeper goes off, he checks it) V.I.C. Uh-oh, that’s vomit in the cafeteria. Gotta go. Good luck with your show, honey. (Walks away with mop)

Cory: (Holding tape) You wasted video tape on this? (Looks at Topanga, who laying on the floor in front of the table) What are you doing? Are you sleeping?

Topanga: (Eyes are closed) I’m not sleeping. I’m right with you. I hear everything you’re saying.

Cory: No you don’t, you’re sleeping.

Topanga: I’m not sleeping, I’m just… Just give me ten minutes, I swear. Ten minutes I’ll be back, I’ll be fresh.

Cory: Fine, I’ll do this myself. (Puts a camera in the VCR, looks at screen tiredly)

[SCENE – Matthews’ living room. Amy is talking to Alan, who’s reading the newspaper on the couch]

Amy: Honey, I just called Topanga’s parents and there’s no answer.

Alan: Maybe they’re voting. (Chuckles) They’re probably bringing Cory home.

Amy: Yeah, you’re probably right. Okay, I’m gonna turn in. (Kisses his cheek) You wait up, okay?

Alan: When he gets home, can I wake you up?

Amy: What for?

Alan: To, um… exercise your right as an American.

Amy: (Interested) Oh, that… (Disinterested) No, let me sleep. (Waves him off, starts upstairs) But don’t you worry, honey. There’s another election next November.

[Cut to the Matthew’s living room, the following morning. Alan is asleep on the couch when Amy come downstairs]

Amy: Alan!

Alan: (Suddenly waking) What?! (Sits up)

Amy: It’s 7:00 in the morning, where’s Cory?

Alan: Uh, he must be in his room.

Amy: Well, he better be.

Alan: I’m certain he is. (Pause) Wait, I’ll go look. (Runs upstairs)

[SCENE – John Adams High hallway. Feeny enters, Janitor Bud enters from a classroom excitedly]

Janitor Bud: Mr. Feeny!

Feeny: Good morning, Janitor Bud.

Janitor Bud: Come quick, have I got something to show you.

Feeny: Not another squirrel in the boys’ locker room, I hope.

Janitor Bud: Better.

(The two exit into a classroom. In that room, which is the video editing room, they find Cory and Topanga, both asleep, on the floor. While they’re definitely not in any lewd position, Cory is on his back with Topanga on her side with one leg over Cory’s and a hand on his chest)

Janitor Bud: I tried poking them with my mop… nothing. You want me to spill some ammonia on their heads?

Feeny: (Clears throat loudly) Ahem!

Cory: (Eyes still shut, rubs his face) Five more minutes, Mom… (Opens his eyes and sees Feeny, quickly sits up. Topanga does so as well)

Feeny: Good morning, sunshine. Breakfast is on the table. Today we’re having a big bowl of sugar-frosted you’ve-got-a-lot-of-explaining-to-do! (Cory and Topanga exchange terrified glances)

[SCENE – Feeny’s office. Cory and Topanga sit, still looking scared, across from Feeny’s desk. Feeny is on the phone.]

Feeny: (Into phone) Yes, yes, they are both fine, Amy. Now be patient. You’ll have your chance with them after I have mind. Take care now. (Hangs up)

Cory: Mr. Feeny, I gotta go change. I gotta go shower. (Stands) If you don’t let me go home I’m gonna be late for school!

Feeny: Sit! (Cory does so) Now, the two of you spent the night unsupervised on school property.

Cory: Oh, Mr. Feeny, what do you think happ… (realizes) Oh, my God! (Mouths is agape)

Topanga: Mr. Feeny, nothing happened! How could you think that? We’re totally innocent! Tell him, Cory! (Nudges Cory)

Cory: (Still stunned) Oh, my God!

Topanga: Mr. Feeny, we were working late on our documentary. I fell asleep, then Cory fell asleep. That was it.

Feeny: Serious violations like this call for swift decisive action. (Unsure) Uh… While I decide what that is, you’re both dismissed for the rest of the day. (Waves them off, they stand)

Topanga: Mr. Feeny?

Feeny: Hm?

Topanga: Can we just keep this little incident between us?

Feeny: Of course, Miss Lawrence. Totally hush-hush, no one need know at all. (Cory and Topanga exit, Feeny shakes his head)

[Cut to the hallway. Cory and Topanga enter together to a rousing cheer of applause. While Topanga looks confused, Cory looks satisfied. Shawn pulls Cory aside]

Cory: What’s going on?

Shawn: You are a god.

Cory: What are you talking about?

Shawn: Like you don’t know. Like you didn’t spend the night with Topanga.

Cory: All we did was edit!

Shawn: Hey, you call it what you want, but you are the MAN!

Cory: I’m not the man.

(Enter Harley with Joey)

Harley: (Points to Cory) There’s the man! (Walks over) There he is. Barely three feet high. I mean, not much to look at, but inside (puts arm around Cory) there lurks a little Harley Keiner.

Joey: So, uh… So Matthews. Come on, tell the truth now. Did you sleep with her? Did you sleep with Topanga?

Cory: Well, that’s a very private, personal, intimate, quest…

Harley: (Interrupting) Hey! Are you the man? Or are you just you?

Cory: I guess… (Unsure, looks over to Topanga across the room, who is watching) I’m the man! (A little applause)

Harley: Come! Let us commemorate this occasion! (Joey puts a spray paint can in Harley’s hand, Harley shakes it. Harley, Cory, Joey, and Shawn exit)

[Cut to Topanga across the room, who exits very upset. She walks past Turner, to whom Feeny approaches]

Turner: This is not what I had in mind.

Feeny: Come here. (Enters Turner’s classroom, Turner follows) So, Mr. Turner, your little project seems to have spiraled totally out of control. (Reaches the end of the room, turns to face Turner) Who could’ve possibly foreseen that?

Turner: George, I think we both know what happened here.

Feeny: Yes. You have proven that out attitudes about sex have not changed for 400 years. (Becoming angry) And that a rumor can still destroy a young girl’s reputation.

Turner: (Sits at desk) Rumors can only exist when things aren’t out in the over. I was trying to get them to move from rumors and secrets to honest, open discussion.

Feeny: You gave them an assignment about sex and then you left them unsupervised!

(Janitor Bud enters and, in the background, begins changing the garbage bins)

Turner: Yes, because I trust them.

Feeny: And was your trust justified?

Turner: The assignment isn’t in yet.

Feeny: Well, it was a terrible idea and I should have nipped it in the bud.

Janitor Bud: What?

Feeny: Not you!!

Janitor Bud: Okay. (Exits)

[SCENE – Matthews’ kitchen. Cory is reading “Much Ado About Nothing” at the table when Shawn enters from the backyard, then glances around the room to check if it’s empty]

Shawn: Come down hard on you?

Cory: My kids are grounded.

Shawn: Listen, think you could sneak out for about half an hour?

Cory: What’re you, kidding? I’m under 24-hour watch.

Shawn: (Exhales, walks towards Cory) man, everybody’s waiting for you down at Chubbie’s. I’m telling you, you are a god!

Alan: (Enter from the living room) Why is that, Shawn? Why is my son so god-like and popular?

Shawn: Because… people have finally begun to realize how well brought up he is?

Alan: That the best you can do?

Shawn: Yeah, well, my mom smoked while she was pregnant.

Alan: (Points to door) Go home.

Shawn: Thank you. (Exits)

Alan: (Circles behind Cory) Okay, Mr. Popular, you’re on.

Cory: Look, Dad, a lot of people at school have this wacky idea that more happened between me and Topanga then happened between me and Topanga.

Alan: What do they think?

Cory: They kinda think I slept with her.

Alan: Why do they think that?

Cory: Because, technically, I did.

Alan: And technically you didn’t bother to clear up this misconception?

Cory: Dad, they think I’m somebody now. Guys who used to beat me up wanted to have their pictures taken with me.

Amy: (Enters) Cory, Topanga’s here to see you. She’s waiting in the living room.

Cory: Oh, okay, could you tell her I’m not here?

Amy: Oh, of course, that would be the right thing to do. (Calls into the living room) Topanga, he’s right in here.

(Topanga enters)

Alan: (To Cory) Son, if we stayed, would it be any easier for you?

Cory: (Hopefully) Yeah, it would! (Alan and Amy exit, Topanga circles around to in front of Cory) Hey, Topanga. How you doing?

Topanga: Not great. But I hear you’re doing pretty good.

Cory: (Stands) Look, you know, people are gonna talk. But that’s all it is, just talk. And in a few days they’re talking about something else. It’ll be like this never happened, right?

Topanga: You want me, Cory? (Steps closer)

Cory: What?

Topanga: You heard me. You want me, take me. (Opens arms) Everybody thinks you did it already, so go ahead and do it.

Cory: Come on, Topanga, stop.

Topanga: (Insulting) What’s the matter, Cory? Aren’t you the man?

Cory: Look, I just said what I said because everyone wanted me to say it.

Topanga: Well, you know what I want? (Long Pause) I want my good name back.

Cory: Oh, well, you know, some people might argue that Topanga’s not the best name to begin with.

Topanga: You know what I mean, Cory. And I hope you know how I feel. I feel like you used to be a good friend, and now? Now I don’t know what you are. But I don’t like you. (Exits)

[SCENE – Turner’s class on presentation day. There is a TV in the front of the room, and Turner stands in front of it, holding a remote control]

Turner: Okay, everybody, settle down. Settle down, it’s show time. First up, the tape by Topanga and Matthews.

Class: (Suggestively) Oooh! (Topanga looks ashamed, and catches Cory’s notice)

(Harley enters and sits near Shawn)

Shawn: (To Harley) You’re in this class?

Harley: (Crosses arms) I’m in the movie.

(Feeny enters)

Feeny: Mr. Turner? A word?

Turner: Mr. Feeny! You, uh, here to watch the tape?

Feeny: No, actually I’m here to express my surprise that you’re going to watch the tape. Any chance you might rethink that decision?

Turner: (Turns, paces away) Alright, class. Mr. Feeny’s of the opinion that our discussions about sex and love and gossip and slander can only lead to more sex and love and gossip and slander. And I have to say, so far, he’s right. Now, I have not seen this tape, but I hope my trust has not been misplaced in you guys. Has it?

Topanga: (Without looking, points to Cory) Why don’t you ask him.

Turner: Matthews?

Cory: I think if we don’t watch it, we’ll never know anything.

Turner: (To Feeny) My student says we should show it.

Feeny: (Looks to Cory) Well, then, perhaps we should.

(Turner turns out the lights, then plays the tape)

Topanga: (On TV) What is the most important advice you have for teenagers about sex?

[Cut to Feeny on TV]

Feeny: (On TV) Be careful with that valuable equipment! (The class laughs)

Feeny: (to Turner) Cheap editing trick…

Topanga: (On TV) I think sex is a part of a special kind of love that you feel for a very special person.

[Cut to Turner on TV]

Turner: (On TV) Love is the most important thing in the world, Matthews. And love is the only thing that makes sex worth having.

Topanga: (On TV) Sex is a part of a special kind of love…

[Cut to Shawn on TV]

Shawn: Love is the most amazing, rare, and precious thing in the whole world.

Topanga: (On TV) …that you feel for a very special person.

(Suddenly, the TV goes blank with white noise. Then the picture returns of Cory in him kitchen)

Cory: (On TV) Hi. Look, I didn’t want to be in this documentary because I didn’t have that much to say about sex and all.

Topanga: (Turns to Cory) What’s this?

Cory: The Special Director’s Cut.

Cory: (On TV) And the reason I don’t have that much to say about sex is because I don’t have a lot of experience in that area. Some people think I do, but I don’t. (Shrugs) And if I let people think that I had some experience with someone, well… you know, it really isn’t fair to that person that I didn’t have that experience with.

Feeny: (To Turner) Well, perhaps this project is gonna serve some purpose after all. I’m shocked.

Turner: Me, too.

Cory: (On TV) So I’d like to say I’m sorry to that person and I should’ve acted more mature. You know, maybe we haven’t come as far as we’d like to think in the last four hundred years. (Sighs) Okay, cut it, Shawn. (Sits at his table) Cut the camera, Shawn.

Shawn: (On TV, voice) Okay, now tell her how much you love her.

Cory: (On TV) Shut up, I do not.

Shawn: (On TV) Then why would you do this for her if you don’t love her?

Cory: (On TV) Because she’s my friend. (Shawn makes kissing noises) Alright, will you stop the camera, Shawn? Shawn! (Covers the lens with his hand)

Cory: (Topanga turns to him) Friend?

Topanga: Friend. (Holds out hand to shake, Cory takes it)

[TAG – The filming of Cory and Topanga’s video. Harley sits on the wall, near the payphone. It’s filmed in the same style as before]

Harley: When we read these books in class, it seems to me that the authors construct scenes of love which to me, do not seem based in reality.

Cory: (From behind the camera) Well, what’s your idea of reality?

Harley: (Thinks) A moonlit night. The backseat of my Chevy Impala. And the lilt of some sweet girl’s voice whispering in my ear, “Hey! You’re crushing my cigarettes!” That’s love.

-End-