Good Boys

You have/need to edits "Source Editor" [Universal Pictures logo, Good Universe logo, The screens draws on table, Point Grey Pictures logo, The film begins at Max's house] Text: Universal Pictures Presents. Text: In association with Good Universe. Text: A Point Grey Production. [Max sees and searching woman are banned, Max clicks, searching founding seductive woman in laptop, Max makes seductive woman becomes large and new bikini on breasts] KK: No, no, no! Max: Oh, fuck yeah. [Max smiles, Max hears his dad before comes him, Max takes plug on door and tucking in bed] KK: Ahh! KK: [moaning] Mah, mah, Ay! Mah! [Max disguises and close laptop, Max's Dad are coming, Max after faster closing laptop] Max's Dad: Why's your door closed, Maxie? Max: [to her dad, getting current 6th grade] Dad, I'm in 6th grade. I need, uh, privacy sometimes. Max's Dad: Okay, I'm headed to the airport. Be back in two days. Please be nice to your sister, help your mom and do not touch the drone. Max: I won't. Bye. Max's Dad: I-I'm serious, okay? It's not a toy. It's for my work. Max: Yup. Safe flight. Bye, Dad. Love you. Max's Dad: Hey, come give me a hug, bud. Max: I'll give you two hugs when you get back. [Max's dad sees plug stuck on door, Max's dad chuckles nervously] Max's Dad: I get it. [Max's Dad smiles] Max: Why are you smiling? Max's Dad: You're just growing up. It's exciting to me. Max: It's not. Stop smiling. [Max's dad sits on the bed with his little son, Max sees him sad, Max covers his hands with his eyes to depress him] Max's Dad: I remember bringing you home from the hospital like it was yesterday. Now here ya are... sexually masturbating yourself. Max: I'm not... I wasn't! Max's Dad: It's cool, fool. It's like you got a new toy. Best toy in the world. You just wanna keep playin' with it. I just wanted you to know I'm proud of you. [Max sadly] Max's Dad: Okay, do your thing. I'll see you later. Love you. See you in two days. LP: ♪ ''Amy! You are not gonna believe this.'' ♪ [Max after sad to head down in bed] [Good Boys logo in road]

[Bean Bag Boys riding bikes in the road] LP: ♪ Oh, oh Multi millionaire aire Multi millionaire oh If you rich put your bust down in the air ♪ Thor: Yo, guys, check this out. My babysitter told me, everyone in 6th grade gets handjobs. Lucas: What's a handjob? Thor: It's when a girl jerks you off until you coom. And then it's your job to clean it up. Lucas: I don't think it's come. Thor: Yeah, See you when. Boom! Middle school is way more intense than elementary. Max: We're gonna get through this? When you stick together? Thor: [before makes howling at sky] Bean Bag Boys for life. [Thor howling while traveling with Bean Bag Boys makes howling acting like wolves at sky, Meanwhile at a 28-years-old man named Benji and pregnant Hannah] Benji: Are your friends jealous you're dating a college guy? Hannah: Some of them, I think. Benji: Yeah? Hannah: [saws Bean Bag Boys] Hey. LP: Multi millionaire Hannah: Can I help you? Thor: Look straight! Look straight! [as they get caught watching Hannah kissing Benji] Benji: Hey, Stranger Things, go fuck yourself! Thor: Fine! Go, go, go! Benji: Do you know those fucking guys? LP: ♪ Oh! ♪

[after inside Thor's house] Lucas: Haha! No one gives up the Turzan of Uzkara. Max: Lucas, keep it in the case. Thor: Dude, it's worth 300 bucks! Lucas: 600 now. I checked. Max: 600 dollars?! Thor: We're millionaires! Lucas: Yeah. [Lucas smiles] Max: Do you guys wanna maybe go to the skatepark tomorrow after school? [interrupting the boys gathering in Thor’s room] Annabelle: I know what cocaine is. [Annabelle evil stares at Bean Bag Boys after gets his stalks as scary girl] Thor: Annabelle, get out of here. Bean Bag Boys only. Annabelle: I heard at the skatepark, the older kids will make you take drugs. Max: We'll never do drugs. They destroy lives and communities. Annabelle: You have no choice. Thor: [calling her mom] Mom! [Thor’s mom enters the room] Thor's Mom: [to concerns her daughter for Bean Bag Boys] Annabelle, don't antagonize your brother. Come on, go upstairs. [Annabelle evil stares and middle finger] Thor's Mom: Now, hey. [Thor smiles, waves goodbye her sister] Thor's Mom: [to Bean Bag Boys] All right, Bean Bag Boys, finish up. It's a school night. Lights out: 8:30. Thor: What? You said 8:45! Thor's Mom: Hey, finish up. Lucas: I don't think I want to go to the skatepark. Max: We're in 6th grade now. We need to start doing 6th grade things. Thor: [high-pitched] Oooh! You wanna see Brixlee, don't you? [Max smiles, Flashback started, Max from memory] ♪ Do you wanna be mine, Do you want my mind, Do you wanna be mine? ♪ ♪ Be my valentine ♪ [Flashback ended, Max smiles] Annabelle: Hi. Bean Bag Boys: Oh, my God! [Bean Bag Boys screams] [Thor rages] Thor: [gets call her mom] Mom!

This park is fuckin' lit.

You guys, the Scooter Squad is here.

You know who's

really good at burns?

Atticus L. He's so funny.

Atticus L.?

I'd smoke him at burn war.

Right, Max?

But I need you girl I got you

But do you got me

Baby, I'd ride for you

Thor: Oooh. So? Are you gonna give Brixlee the necklace you made her?

Max: No, shut up.

I haven't put it in the kiln yet.

You always have an excuse.

Thor, you never talk to girls.

Girls are a distraction.

Rock of Ages auditions are in two days.

And I don't wanna be tied down!

Taylor: Max! Come here!

Hey, Taylor.

People are saying you made Brixlee a necklace in Art Class.

Taylor: Nice try, but I don't talk about my art projects before they're finished.

If she had a crush on you, would you admit you had a crush on her?

Does she have a crush on me?

I don't know.

I've never asked her.

See you tomorrow.

Bye.

Fuck.

So, how'd it go, lover boy?

Uh, she might know about the necklace.

Veggie lasagna for dinner?

Everything's comin' up Lucas.

I'll see you guys at school.

Bye!

Be safe.

Scooter boys, scooter boys.

Act cool.

Act cool.

Sup, Atticus.

You guys wanna see

something cool?

Hell, yeah.

What are we up to?

What are we doing?

We're gonna sip a beer.

Scared?

No!

I've had, like,

5,000 sips of beer.

Bitch, please.

Soren has the record:

Three sips.

Three sips?

Three sips.

Oh.

Already feelin' somethin'.

Delicious.

Careful, it's hot.

Are you gonna drink it or not?

Ugh.

I forgot, I have musical

auditions this Friday.

They drug test for beer.

Thor, just admit you're

scared little, little baby.

No, I'm not.

Want me to put the beer

in a sippy cup for you?

Sippy cup.

No.

Sippy cup.

Amazing burn, Atticus.

It's not a good burn.

His dad has two DUIs and has to take the train to work.

That's a good burn.

Sippy cup, sing us a song.

No.

How about, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bitch?

All: Sippy cup!

All: Sippy cup!

You know guys, he'll do it but, he just needs more time to think.

All: Sippy cup! Sippy cup! Thor: [holding a juice box] No. It's a fucking juice box. 'Cause I'm not a fucking child.
 * Bye.
 * Lasagna and soda?
 * Don't tell my parents, you gave me these.
 * Lucas: We're getting a divorce.
 * What do you mean?
 * I'm tellin' you, everything's
 * gonna stay the same.
 * We promise.
 * Will we still watch.
 * This Is Us together?
 * Yes, of course,
 * that's our favorite show.
 * That's a family show.
 * Except now you gonna see it on
 * two-two different TVs.
 * In two different houses.
 * So you gonna have to watch an episode twice.
 * What about Taco Tuesday?
 * Taco Tuesday still goin' down,
 * matter of fact, you gonna have
 * two Taco Tuesdays, just one on Wednesday now.
 * Twice the fun.
 * Twice the fun, twice the tacos.
 * Everything's gonna stay the same, so.
 * Me and your mom, we still best friends, right?
 * Mm-hmm.
 * I mean, would be nice to have tacos together as a family, just have it change to Wednesday...
 * I'm walking on sunshine
 * On... sunshine...
 * And don't it feel good?
 * Hey!
 * ♪ Na na na na, na na na na ♪
 * Now every time
 * I go for the mailbox
 * Gotta hold myself down
 * Hey!
 * ♪ Na na na na, na na na na ♪
 * 'Cause I just can't wait
 * till you write me
 * You're comin' around
 * Hey!
 * Thor! Inspired!
 * Voice of an angel, man!
 * I'm walkin' on sunshine
 * Wo-oh
 * I'm walkin' on sunshine
 * Walking on sunshine
 * What are we walkin' on?
 * Walking on...
 * sunshine...
 * And don't it feel good?
 * It does feel good, don't it?
 * What's wrong?
 * This song always makes me sad.
 * Don't forget.
 * Rock of Ages auditions are tomorrow.
 * It's my favorite musical.
 * I did make some pretty big changes though based on my time in Holly-weird.
 * I think it'll really inspire those of you who dare to dream.
 * Sick!
 * So I looked at her, but she was looking in the other direction.
 * Then she looked at me, I was looking in the other direction.
 * So, I think that someday we're gonna make eye contact.
 * That's cool.
 * This musical is gonna be lit.
 * Max: Hey, Soren, look at this.
 * Sippy cup is signing up for the musical.
 * Singing is for tryhards.
 * No! Uh, someone signed me up as a joke.
 * I was just crossing it off, see?
 * Yeah, whatever, bitch tits.
 * Enough.
 * Let's go.
 * I have places to be.
 * Max: Sorry, Soren.
 * Max: Don't listen to Atticus.
 * Atticus: [talk to Bean Bag Boys about his dad went not even pay taxes from the past] His dad doesn't even pay taxes.
 * It doesn't matter what Atticus says.
 * I've been thinking about quitting singing ever since I was young.
 * Come on,
 * we're gonna miss fish sticks.
 * Whoa!
 * That's the best lunch I've ever seen.
 * Lucas: Yeah, my parents are being super nice because... because... they're great.
 * They're great and everything's good.
 * Ooh, wait, is that a new earring?
 * Yes! Finally!
 * Thank you for noticing.
 * It looks cute on you.
 * Max, I'm not going for cute, I'm going for sexy and hot.
 * Those are the only two
 * things I'm looking for.
 * You like it?
 * It looks infected.
 * Soren's so cool.
 * I heard he beat up Derek Bachman
 * and blowjobbed his sister.
 * He blowjobbed his own sister?
 * No, he blowjobbed Derek's sister.
 * Fucking legend.
 * I think Soren's calling me.
 * Uh
 * Yeah, I'ma get down
 * Throwin' it down
 * Now you know
 * If you didn't know
 * now bitch you know now
 * Sup.
 * Sup.
 * I heard you sipped a beer
 * like a fucking champ.
 * Yeah, I took a pretty
 * big sip, actually.
 * Cool.
 * I'm having a party tomorrow night.
 * All these fools are comin'.
 * You in?
 * You should come.
 * Trust me.
 * Yeah, I'll come,
 * but, you know,
 * have to ask my mom.
 * Also, gonna be a kissing party.
 * You French kissed
 * girls before, right?
 * Yeah.
 * Of course.
 * Where?
 * Their mouths?
 * Yeah, dawg.
 * He's not about to start sitting
 * with the popular kids, is he?
 * No. If anyone should be
 * over there, it's me.
 * We heard kids were calling you "sippy cup".
 * Thor: And we just wanted to let you know you can always call the Student Coalition Against Bullying for protection.
 * Does this look like a sippy cup?

So rude.

Like, can I bring Thor and Lucas?

So random.

No, they're cool.

Trying to keep it half girls, half guys.

You feel me, dawg?

I feel you, dawg, but they're my best friends.

We do everything together.

We're the Bean Bag Boys.

That's a dope ass name.

Fuck it. Bring 'em.

I'd have 'em roll with my squad, too.

Let me know what your mom says, dawg.

Okay. Bye dawg. Bye dawgs.

So?

Soren just invited us to his party.

- Soren?

- Yeah.

He said my name?

He said Thor?

Pretty much.

Sweet.

Oh, there's also gonna be girls there.

You know what that means?

Lucas: Drama.

Max: Kissing.

Max: So... do you guys know how to kiss?

Thor: - I have no... No. No.

- No.

Type "kissing".

No, no, "boobs".

"Breast cancer research."

"How to find a bra that fits."

I have an idea.

"Are you 18 or older?"

I'm gonna click yes.

We're not 18 or older.

This is gonna go on our permanent record.

I'm your stepmother.

You are not supposed to be

looking at me in the shower.

Don't tell my dad, it could make things worse for me!

Get up!

Get up.

He's in trouble.

You deserve punishment.

Pull down your shorts.

Is that what happens

when you get a stepmom?

Ewww!

Ugh.

No way that's

gonna fit in there.

Get out of there, girl!

Where did his hand go?

Oh, my God!

Nobody even kissed.

Yeah, not in their mouths... at least.

My parents have a CPR doll.

We can go practice

kissing on that.

Come on.

This is a really pretty CPR doll.

I guess I'll go first.

Stop!

What are you doing?

Kissing her?

You can't kiss someone

without their permission.

Remember from Assembly?

Pretend it's Brixlee.

Try to be a gentleman.

Okay.

Brixlee, can I kiss you?

Why?

Why?

Yeah. What do you like about me?

Well...

you're sweet,

you smell good,

you're smart, too.

You always push Henry

in his wheelchair

even though he's super mean.

And just when I think

I've got you figured out,

you go ahead and

start skateboarding.

I consent.

How was it?

Sticky.

Why does she have

hair in her mouth?

You know what, this

isn't teaching us anything.

We're missing real people kissing.

That's the only way to know

if we're doing it right.

My neighbor's a total nymphomaniac.

Her boyfriend's always over.

She starts fires?

No, that's a pyromaniac.

She's a nymphomaniac.

Someone who has sex

on land and sea.

- Seriously?

- Shh, shh, shh.

Okay, I was gonna wait till

tomorrow to surprise you,

but can I just tell you?

No, we're good.

No, you wanna know.

Ugh, I can barely see anything.

I know we haven't

been hanging out much

you know, ever since I met Benji,

but I wanna make it up to you.

So, tomorrow,

I'm skipping school

and we're driving to the city

to see Kendrick Lamar.

Shut up!

And we're gonna do Molly.

You thought of everything.

Of course I fucking have,

it's gonna be amazing!

Hey, girls!

Well, Benji got us the Molly.

Benjamin.

Thank you.

Look.

This isn't working.

Maybe we could go climb a tree.

No, they'd see us.

No, I just meant

let's go climb a tree.

Dude, wait.

I know a way

we can see them kiss.

I can't.

It has a camera.

We can see everything.

We can learn technique.

It's for his dad's work.

It's not a toy.

Of course it's a toy.

They sell it at toy stores.

My uncle flew a

drone for the army.

And now he yells in his sleep

and has crazy diarrhea.

It's messed up that he

even keeps it in the house.

You have to walk by it every day.

- He's torturing you.

- It's true.

It's like when your cousin walks

around in a bikini and she taunts you.

If he finds out,

you'll be grounded.

You won't be able

to go to Soren's.

And even worse,

you'll lose your father's trust.

That's true, too.

She'll love you for who you are.

Yeah, a shitty kisser.

Remember the porn from earlier?

That guy didn't even

know how to kiss.

He was just licking

that woman's asshole.

You wanna kiss an asshole, Max?

Nope.

Max, don't listen to him.

He just wants to go because

he's obsessed with popular boys.

Believe me, Max,

you don't wanna go to Soren's

not knowing how to kiss.

Whoo!

So tomorrow,

after you get some girl time,

why don't you come over

for some man time?

No, I told you I'm hanging

out with Lily this weekend.

Yeah, it's just...

you know, it's hard

for me not to see you

'cause you're my best friend.

But Lily's my best friend.

Yeah, totally, totally get it.

How about if just hang out

with my ex, Margaret?

Are you trying to

make me jealous?

Uh, no. Why, are you jealous?

Yeah, this isn't working out.

I know. You're not hot enough

to be acting like this.

So, the next time

that you're wondering

where all the nice guys went,

just remember that you let

one walk right out the door.

What?

I didn't say anything.

I never wanna see you again.

You okay?

Where'd the guy go?

Who cares?

The girls just hugged.

They are definitely gonna kiss.

Do you mind if we get closer?

What is that?

Fucking spying on us.

- All right, it's my turn to fly.

- Give it!

- You're gonna buzz 'em.

- No!

You're gonna break it.

You want it? Fine!

Yes!

Ha!

Aah!

No!

Shit!

What the hell, Thor?

It was both of our faults.

Max: My dad's gonna kill me.

What do we do now?

Whoa!

We say there was a break-in.

They trashed the place

and took the drone.

That's the most stupid

fucking idea I've ever heard.

Guys, guys!

All we have to do is just go

up there and tell the truth.

Then God would be on our side.

Hey, can I help you?

I hope so, ma'am.

We were using our drone to follow a family of turtles and we thought it might've crashed in your backyard.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's here.

Come on in.

So you guys like turtles?

- Yeah.

- That's awesome.

Time's up, motherfuckers.

Shit, it's a trap!

You think I give a fuck

about turtles?

We're sorry, we just wanted

to learn how to kiss.

Lucas, that's none of their business.

We should've just told the truth.

We're going to a kissing party

and none of us have ever

kissed and we're scared!

Goddammit, Lucas.

I've had sex before

but I've never kissed a girl.

Just go online and type in

"how to kiss".

That's what everyone does.

Oh...

It's very easy.

Look, can we please

have our drone back?

It's a BD Rolling Thunder.

It's my dad's.

He needs it for work.

Can I please have it back?

I really need it. Please.

I don't think so.

If you don't give it back,

I'll tell my dad you stole it.

Then I'll tell him

that you're a pervert.

We'll tell the whole school.

This is sensual harassment.

I'll tell everyone that

you're a misogynist.

I never massaged anyone.

Hannah: This is what happens when you don't respect women.

Lucas: I respect women. My mom's my best friend.

Thor: What about me?

I am so fucked.

Max: My dad's gonna kill me. Max: [to Claude] Listen, Claude, let's just cut the bullshit. I'm the son of a businesswoman. And I think we both know, if you didn't wanna buy the doll, you would've left already. Stop treating us like kids. We know how things work. So, do you wanna buy the CPR doll or not?
 * You had to snoop on them.
 * You're such a feminist.
 * I'm-I'm not a feminist.
 * I love women.
 * And my parents are definitely
 * gonna call your guys' parents.
 * We're all gonna get grounded.
 * Forget Soren's party.
 * We're fucked.
 * Why are you smiling?
 * This is actually your fault.
 * This is leverage.
 * Ho-ho!
 * Bingo.
 * What is it?
 * I have no idea.
 * That's a tampon.
 * What's it for?
 * Girls shove it up their buttholes
 * to stop babies from coming out.
 * And 8th grader told me that.
 * The human body is truly a mystery.
 * Can't believe they still eat chewables.
 * Gummies are so much better.
 * I like the chewables.
 * I want one.
 * Fucking childproof bullshit.
 * Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!
 * It's the girls!
 * Hello?
 * You took my bag,
 * that has my license, my phone...
 * Bring it back right now!
 * Fuck that noise.
 * I want my drone back.
 * I got this. I got this.
 * What did you just say,
 * you little bitch?
 * I'll take a shit
 * down your throat!
 * Why are you talking like that?
 * Hannah, I have a little brother.
 * You're supposed to scare them.
 * Well, you scared me.
 * Listen, we were just trying
 * to teach you a lesson,
 * I promise you, we were
 * gonna give the drone back.
 * No way!
 * They could trick us again.
 * Or overpower us.
 * Oh, my God.
 * What if they take the Molly?
 * They won't be able to take it.
 * No, they're children,
 * they would die.
 * This is Max from earlier.
 * Meet us at the playground
 * across from John Adams
 * tomorrow at 7:40 a.m.
 * Bring the drone.
 * And don't fuck with the Bean Bag Boys!
 * That was tough.
 * Very tough.
 * Kinda got a hold on
 * the toughness first.
 * We're still on the phone.
 * Shit!
 * Turn it off!
 * Ow.
 * Max: Don't come any closer!
 * Why?
 * 'Cause you could overpower us.
 * So put the drone on the slide
 * and count back from a hundred
 * and close your eyes.
 * And don't try anything funny.
 * There are witnesses.
 * Kid, we have a long drive ahead of us.
 * So give us the bag or I will hurt you.
 * Do not test me.
 * Threats will get you nowhere, Hanson.
 * Lily: Just give us the fucking Molly!
 * Max: Okay, who's Molly? 'Cause she's not with us.
 * Guys, Molly is a sex drug.
 * Dateline did an expos on it.
 * You had us bring drugs to a fucking playground?
 * There are children here!
 * It's okay. I know what to do.
 * We're making a citizen's arrest!
 * You're both under arrest.
 * - Get on the ground.
 * - Sweet Jesus.
 * - Up, up, up!
 * - Stay still, hands up!
 * - Stay still!
 * - Hands up!
 * Get down now!
 * Get down now!
 * Did you just reload your fake gun?
 * Are you mocking me?
 * Are you mocking me?
 * Anything will be used against you that you say.
 * In court.
 * You know, you're the one
 * holding drugs.
 * So, why don't I do
 * a citizen's arrest on you?
 * Fuck.
 * Time out, crackheads.
 * Oh, my God.
 * Deal's off.
 * We can't let them put drugs back on the street.
 * Look at those dirty
 * fucking junkies.
 * Their lives are already ruined.
 * Let's just give 'em the drugs
 * and get the drone.
 * Maybe there's a way we
 * can protect our community
 * and get the drone back.
 * Stall them.
 * So, what do you plan to
 * do with those drugs, huh?
 * Take 'em
 * and feel amazing.
 * They're addicts.
 * Yeah.
 * So, you've been drugging
 * your whole life?
 * - Uh-huh.
 * - Every day.
 * Uh-huh. Nice.
 * What are you doing? Hey!
 * It's working! Yeah!
 * Gonna make it!
 * Fuck!
 * Those girls were lucky
 * I didn't kick their asses.
 * Oh, no! They found us.
 * Oh, shit.
 * They're on school property.
 * They don't care,
 * they're tweaking.
 * You know what we need?
 * No, don't say it.
 * Don't say it.
 * SCAB!
 * - Shut up.
 * - SCAB!
 * - Zip it.
 * - SCAB!
 * What is that?
 * Our lives in danger!
 * SCAB! SCAB, help us!
 * - We're not scared. We're fine.
 * - We're okay.
 * Just walking into school.
 * Average day.
 * This is crazy.
 * Bullying is crap.
 * Get on the right track.
 * Bullying is crap.
 * When you attack one of us,
 * you attack all of us.
 * Your weakness gives us strength.
 * Well, those kids stole my bag.
 * Not today, bully!
 * Not today.
 * - What the fuck?
 * - Bullying is crap.
 * Get on the right track.
 * This is the best day of my life.
 * Get on the right track.
 * Don't worry, we'll find them later.
 * SCAB just tagged us on Instagram.
 * First, sippy cup, and now this?
 * I'm two weeks into 6th grade
 * and I'm already a social piranha.
 * Guys, my dad gets back at 5:00.
 * If we don't get a new drone
 * by then, I'm grounded.
 * Which means we're all grounded,
 * which means no party,
 * which means no Brixlee!
 * Sippy cup for life.
 * No Brixlee, no friends, no hope, parents fighting, trapped in our rooms, all alone, two Taco Tuesdays.
 * So, Max, what are we gonna do?
 * We're gonna ditch school.
 * Get a new drone.
 * Stop thinking with your
 * big, old dick, Max.
 * That could go on our
 * permanent record.
 * Max's big, old dick is pointing
 * us in the right direction.
 * Thank you.
 * If anyone else kisses
 * Brixlee, I'll die.
 * Wait, what?
 * Here's the plan: I'm gonna bring the beer to Soren's.
 * And I'm gonna sip that beer
 * so everyone will know...
 * That you're an alcoholic.
 * That would be great.
 * Guys, the only place
 * around here that has one
 * is at North Point Galleria.
 * It's four miles away.
 * Four miles?
 * How the fuck are we
 * getting four miles?
 * We have Uber.
 * No, it goes directly
 * to my mom's phone.
 * She'll know.
 * Then we bike.
 * Where are you even gonna get
 * the money for a new drone?
 * What?
 * You know.
 * Our Turzan of Uzkara card?
 * No way!
 * You said everyone
 * wants to buy it.
 * We got it together.
 * And we're gonna sell
 * it together as friends.
 * Come on, Lucas.
 * Bean Bag Boys do
 * everything together.
 * Okay, I guess that makes sense.
 * - Yes!
 * - Yes!
 * Lucas!
 * - Bean Bag Boys for life!
 * - Yeah!
 * We're being so bad.
 * We're bad, we're so bad.
 * We're bad, we're so bad.
 * We're bad, we're so bad.
 * I need to get rid of these drugs.
 * What are you doing?
 * Getting rid of the drugs.
 * I'm just gonna throw
 * them in the stream.
 * Max: It can contaminate the water.
 * Thor: Well, then we could throw it in the forest.
 * Lucas: It's a sex drug. What if a fox eats it and tries to fuck a squirrel? It'll kill him!
 * Well, then how do we get rid of drugs?
 * The same way we get rid of a baby.
 * - Abortion?
 * - Adoption?
 * No!
 * Drop it off at the firehouse
 * on our way up to the mall.
 * That's a really good idea.
 * Ah.
 * I just got a buyer on our card.
 * Hey, give 'em my address.
 * My parents aren't home
 * and I have the best snacks.
 * Heropants69's gonna be here in five minutes to buy the card.
 * Well, let's get ready.
 * I found all of these weapons
 * in the back of my parents' closet.
 * I still don't feel
 * why you need weapons.
 * He could be a pedophile.
 * He can't molest all three of us.
 * All he needs is one.
 * Ah-nal beads?
 * AKA nunchucks, motherfucker!
 * - Yeah!
 * - Not a toy!
 * Shoot.
 * Smell like shit.
 * Hello, uh, I'm looking for Lucas.
 * That's me.
 * Claude: I'm Claude.
 * Hey.
 * That's my mom back there.
 * Hiya!
 * Let's cut the shit.
 * Are you a pedophile?
 * What? No.
 * Lucas, if you were a pedophile
 * standing in front of three single
 * boys, would you admit it?
 * Probably not.
 * Then why would he?
 * Oh, come on.
 * Do I look like a pedophile?
 * - Yes.
 * - Absolutely.
 * That's not fair.
 * You look more of a pedophile
 * than anyone I've ever seen.
 * Look, I'm not a pedophile.
 * I'm a cool guy.
 * Fine.
 * You can come in
 * but please keep your shoes off.
 * Why are you bringing a paintball gun?
 * In case anyone fucks with us.
 * This card is exquisite.
 * How'd you get it?
 * The summer I moved here, me, Max and Thor started a dog watching business.
 * We earned eight bucks.
 * And we used the money
 * to buy an Ascension pack
 * and this card was in it.
 * Well, you got very lucky.
 * The real luck was meeting Max and Thor.
 * Fascinating.
 * We started calling ourselves the Bean Bag Boys.
 * You know why?
 * Because you had some bean bags?
 * That's right.
 * Yeah, genius.
 * You got yourself a deal.
 * Let's go.
 * Let's make it happen.
 * No. I can't do this.
 * Wha...?
 * - Sorry.
 * - Lucas!
 * Get your butt over here right now.
 * Excuse me, is this how all
 * 12-year-olds conduct business?
 * What the hell just happened?
 * I thought you were cool with this.
 * You said we wouldn't do this
 * if one of us wasn't on board.
 * I'm not on board.
 * Why do you care so much?
 * Why don't you care?
 * This card has a lot of memories.
 * And you're just gonna
 * throw it all away
 * because you wanna
 * kiss some basic girl?
 * Savage!
 * Brixlee isn't just some girl.
 * We're probably
 * gonna get married.
 * Every marriage ends in divorce.
 * Lucas...
 * you're outvoted.
 * I can tell you're
 * lashing out with anger.
 * Brixlee's probably the love of my life.
 * Excuse me, ma'am, could I get a glass of water, please?
 * Hello?
 * Ah!
 * Hey, guys?
 * Hmm...
 * Yeah.
 * What can you tell me
 * about her backstory?
 * Where's she supposed to be from?
 * She seems quite exotic.
 * Okay, listen carefully,
 * 'cause I'll make
 * this offer only once.
 * 400 bucks to take
 * her off your hands.
 * No. We need 550 U.S.
 * Fuck off!
 * That's my entire allowance.

Claude: Fools! I'd have paid a thousand!

Max: Anyone else feel like he's gonna fuck that doll? Lucas: You promise?
 * We got bottles in the house
 * call a cab for Frey
 * So pour me up another
 * glass of the champagne
 * I'm feelin' bright
 * with my icy chains
 * Countin' all these stacks
 * 'cause we run this game
 * So hot that I can
 * feel the fever
 * Never knew that money
 * would make me a believer
 * Politicking but we
 * ain't no politician
 * Yee-haw!
 * We should hydrate.
 * We've been biking for
 * almost 14 minutes straight.
 * I don't think I've ever been
 * this far from home.
 * I think I did a production
 * of Cats around here.
 * Really not gonna sing anymore?
 * Yeah... I've never been happier.
 * Just give us the drugs.
 * Fuck. How'd you find us?
 * The phone. They tracked us.
 * We're not giving
 * you these drugs.
 * We're giving them to firefighters.
 * Get help!
 * Charge!
 * We're in a car, dipshits.
 * You're not gonna outrun us.
 * Not on my fast bike, nerds.
 * Good luck gettin' your
 * car in here, losers!
 * Shit.
 * I don't care if you care
 * I just know it ain't fair
 * Ain't no time to prepare
 * Life is just a nightmare
 * Where are you going?
 * You can run
 * but you can't hide
 * You can run
 * but you can't hide
 * You can run
 * but you can't hide
 * You can run
 * but you can't hide
 * But you can't hide
 * You're mad, getting these drugs back!
 * Just give her the sex drugs!
 * Peel out!
 * I won't let you destroy your life.
 * Ow.
 * Are you okay?
 * You sure you're okay?
 * What the hell happened?
 * We were running away
 * from our babysitter
 * 'cause she was trying
 * to touch our penises.
 * What? That is not true!
 * - Yes, it is!
 * - It is.
 * I wasn't.
 * - Yeah, you were!
 * - I wasn...
 * Go, go, go, go!
 * - What happened?
 * - Go!
 * Go! Go, go!
 * Lucas, are you okay?
 * I'm fine. I'm fine.
 * - Your arm!
 * - Oh, hell, no.
 * Yo, I'm calling 911.
 * Oh, no! It's okay.
 * Come on, we gotta go,
 * we gotta go.
 * We gotta go.
 * I'll get the bikes.
 * Ow!
 * Okay.
 * I threw the phone
 * in the prickle bush.
 * They can't track us anymore.
 * The pain!
 * Lucas, you have to be quiet.
 * Okay, do we have any ice?
 * No, we're in a fucking alley.
 * What about pain medication?
 * We have the Molly
 * we can give him.
 * No!
 * Yeah, he's probably just gonna
 * try and have sex with us.
 * Call and ambulance!
 * Mission's over!
 * We'll get busted.
 * Do you even have insurance?
 * I don't know, do you?
 * I don't know.
 * I think I only
 * have a deductible.
 * It's all right.
 * This happens to MMA
 * fighters all the time.
 * We just gotta ram your arm
 * into something very hard
 * so it pops back in place.
 * Fine! Fuck it. Let's just
 * get this over with.
 * Ow!
 * Come on, easy.
 * One, two, three!
 * Wrong arm!
 * - Okay, new site, new site.
 * - Okay.
 * Okay. Lie down your back
 * and give me your arm.
 * Come on.
 * All right.
 * It says this next
 * part's gonna hurt.
 * That you should bite
 * down on something hard.
 * I know.
 * Open.
 * There you go.
 * Okay, on three.
 * One, two, three!
 * - Just got a text from Taylor.
 * - What'd she say?
 * She wants to know why you aren't in school and if you're coming to the party tonight.
 * Just write...
 * Sorry, I mustn't faint.
 * Whoa!
 * - Let me help. Let me help.
 * - Okay!
 * One, two, three!
 * Wow!
 * I didn't think that
 * actually work.
 * You're gonna be good, man.
 * No.
 * I'm really not.
 * My parents are getting a divorce.
 * What'd you do?
 * - Thor!
 * - What?
 * Sorry.
 * My dad's moving out.
 * Whatever happens between your parents...
 * you always got the Bean Bag Boys.
 * We'll never split up.
 * Bean Bag Boys for life.

Thor: Promise.

Max: Promise.

Thor: Come on, let's get you some Children's Tylenol.

[Thor and Max helps and crunches Lucas' arm, screams echos, Bean Bags Boys after inside grocery store] Thanks, sweetie. Feels like we haven't talked in weeks.
 * - Need some help, buddy?
 * - No, I got it.
 * Okay, just do it.
 * Hey, Miles.
 * Hey, man.
 * Comin' in or comin' off?
 * Just got off a triple, man.
 * I don't care if I get mugged.
 * I'm not typing up any more
 * paperwork today.
 * Cop.
 * Shit, we have D-R-U-G-S on us.
 * He knows how to spell.
 * Just act normal,
 * pretend to talk.
 * - About what?
 * - Just be normal.
 * What do you think
 * about politics?
 * It's a complicated issue.
 * This cop's acting weird.
 * He's not poking us.
 * Just act normal,
 * just two cool guys laughing.
 * We skipped school.
 * Lucas!
 * Are we in trouble?
 * Well, usually, I'd call this in.
 * But, because you
 * were honest with me,
 * just let it slide, all right?
 * Just promise
 * not to do it again, okay?
 * We promise, thank you, sir.
 * All right.
 * That was a close one.
 * Where's Thor?
 * I'm not the better, baddest
 * The hardest or the tallest
 * But I say what I mean
 * And I'm walkin' like I talk it
 * Don't make me start it
 * Ain't nobody ballin'
 * See if I keep gettin' up
 * It don't matter that you're ballin'
 * Hold it.
 * Come here.
 * What do you have in your pants?
 * My penis.
 * Pull it out.
 * I also have a big dick.
 * Put it back.
 * I'm being generous today.
 * We also have drugs.
 * He was on to us.
 * Okay, what do you have?
 * Schedule 1 controlled substance
 * with intent to distribute.
 * Brother, these are vitamins, okay?
 * Children's vitamins at that.
 * No, those are drugs.
 * If that's drugs,
 * this is drugs, too.
 * If you don't arrest us, I'll report you.
 * - Lucas!
 * - Leave me the fuck alone! I mean, sorry to fucking swear at kids, but fuck! You know, I'm gonna arrest you for fucking ruining my day.
 * All right? I'll take them. Let me go home!
 * - He's calling for backup.
 * - What do we do?
 * Hello, listen...
 * I decided I don't want kids.
 * What's happening?
 * That cop's eye-fucking us.
 * We have to make a run for it.
 * I know what to do.
 * Well, it's not up for discuss...
 * Well, yeah, no,
 * you may be detective,
 * but in the marriage,
 * we're equal.
 * Just hang up, who cares?
 * It's free 'cause I'm a cop.
 * Picture this
 * I'm a bag of dicks
 * Put me to your lips
 * I am sick
 * I will punch a baby bear
 * in his shit
 * Give me lip
 * I'ma send you to the yard,
 * get a stick
 * Make a switch
 * I can end the conversation real quick
 * What the fuck, Thor?
 * You didn't even care
 * about my shoulder.
 * You just wanted a beer.
 * I can care about two things.
 * Yeah, you and your stupid beer.
 * Now we're fugitives.
 * Why are you yelling at me?
 * I just ran out without
 * my family's bikes.
 * Cycle Sundays are fucked!
 * Guys, guys!
 * The mall!
 * - Yes!
 * - Yes!
 * Yes!
 * Come on.
 * Oh, shit.
 * Holy mu...
 * Goddammit!
 * Great. Now we're trapped
 * between a highway
 * and the authorities.
 * Well, we wouldn't be in
 * this position right now
 * if you weren't such a narc.
 * Guys, the mall's right there.
 * All we have to do
 * is cross the highway.
 * And the cars aren't even moving.
 * Now, are we 5th graders
 * or are we 6th graders?
 * Nobody speak
 * Nobody get choked
 * Nobody speak
 * Nobody get choked, hey
 * Well, I'm going back into the woods.
 * I'll live off of rainwater and squirrels.
 * I don't give a fuck.
 * Uh, no, you won't.
 * Gosh.
 * It's like a parking lot, see?
 * Wait. You stole another beer?
 * What the fuck, Thor?!
 * Hey, you guys aren't the ones who's gonna have sippy cup on their goddamn tombstone!
 * God, say it, don't spray it.
 * Get off the freeway!
 * Children crossing.
 * Please. Children are crossing.
 * What are you all doing?
 * Get back to the side!
 * Go, go, go!
 * Fucking idiots!
 * Wait, I got a message.
 * Oh, it's from Taylor.
 * She said Marcus is coming to the party.
 * He has a huge crush on Brixlee.
 * She's definitely gonna kiss him.
 * He's the nicest kid in our grade.
 * Wait, wait. I'm the nicest
 * kid in our grade!
 * It goes, me,
 * Marcus, Max, you.
 * I'm way nicer than Max.
 * No, you're not!
 * You made Miss Willoughby cry last year.
 * Hey, she was already crying, I just took her picture.
 * Guys! Guys!
 * Look!
 * Oh, shit!
 * Shit!
 * Oh, fuck!
 * Let's go back!
 * We're trapped!
 * We're trapped!
 * We're gonna die.
 * We're gonna die.
 * No, we're not.
 * We just need to time it, okay?
 * We just need to time it right.
 * We can do this, guys!
 * We can do this!
 * - Punch it, crazy!
 * - No!
 * Oh, shit! He made it!
 * I did it!
 * Lucas. Lucas, look
 * at me right now.
 * I know you're scared.
 * I'm not... at all.
 * Shut up, Thor!
 * Lucas!
 * No!
 * I'm not dead!
 * I'm not dead!
 * He got here, man. Come on!
 * Fuck you!
 * I love you, too!
 * Now, come over here!
 * I want my mom!
 * - Come on!
 * - Come on!
 * I'm fine. I'll just live here.
 * I'm good.
 * Come on!
 * You got this!
 * All right.
 * Come on, Thor,
 * you're not sippy cup.
 * You're a badass.
 * Come on, Thor!
 * I dropped my beer!
 * Wait.
 * That's my dad's CPR doll.
 * - Oh!
 * - That's my dad's CPR doll!
 * We're not murderers!
 * We're safe!
 * We're not fucking killers!
 * We're not, yeah!
 * Beep, beep.
 * Excuse me.
 * Pardon me.
 * Excuse me.
 * Sorry.
 * Hey!
 * We called about the
 * BD Rolling Thunder.
 * I'm so sorry, you guys.
 * Sold it.
 * Haha, nice joke, ha.
 * So funny, waa...
 * No, I did. I sold it.
 * Two girls. Said they knew you.
 * Fuck you!
 * I'm gonna kill your family!
 * He's on for sure, huh?
 * I'm gonna turn your whole family to zombies!
 * Max!
 * I was gonna say, you didn't let me finish.
 * They left a note for ya.
 * - Why are they walking like that?
 * - I don't know.
 * You guys track us.
 * I threw your bag
 * in prickle bushes.
 * Dumbass.
 * You told us that your
 * life would be over
 * if you didn't get a
 * BD Rolling Thunder.
 * And this is the only place a
 * child could get to on a tricycle.
 * Okay, I have the drugs,
 * now give me the drone.
 * You fucking kidding me?
 * What in the actual fuck?
 * These are just gummy vitamins.
 * I told you she was gonna check.
 * Where is the Molly?
 * Where is it?
 * A cop has it.
 * You gave our drugs to a cop?
 * Wait.
 * Look, I know you don't know us,
 * and you think we're
 * just stupid kids,
 * but just listen...
 * whatever problems you're having, drugs are not the answer.
 * Drugs just give you a
 * false sense of reality.
 * You might think
 * your lives are bad, but you have family and friends who love you...
 * Can you shut the fuck up?
 * I just spent $600
 * on a fucking drone.
 * You ruined my passionate moment.
 * Well, it was stupid.
 * This day is fucked.
 * Benji is the only one who has Molly and he won't sell it to us.
 * Well, I'm sorry, we're fucked.
 * We'll do it.
 * We'll get you drugs.
 * The fuck we will!
 * What the hell?
 * Do you think he would sell to kids?
 * We're not kids. We're tweens.
 * What do we have to lose?
 * So it's a deal?
 * Max, this is fucking insane.
 * You should take the
 * goddamn punishment.
 * Lucas and I will
 * go to the party.
 * We'll cockblock anyone
 * who gets near Brixlee.
 * They didn't invite you.
 * What?
 * The popular kids only invited me.
 * What do you mean?
 * They think you're kind of...
 * random.
 * Oh.
 * But it's okay, 'cause once
 * those guys get to know you,
 * they'll see what I see...
 * that you're not random.
 * That you're specific.
 * I'm not buying drugs.
 * Neither am I.
 * You guys don't have to.
 * I'll do all the talking.
 * I just need your height in there.
 * You're the only one of us that
 * looks like they could be in college.
 * Guys...
 * are you in or out?
 * So, you guys did all of
 * this for a kissing party?
 * No, there's also gonna
 * be cool boys there.
 * I remember my first kissing party.
 * It was the summer after 6th
 * grade at Manush Patel's house.
 * Who'd you kiss?
 * Uh, Manush's sister.
 * Wait, you weren't there?
 * No, we didn't really know
 * each other then, I mean,
 * we were in the same grade
 * but we didn't really become
 * close until 8th grade.
 * Oh.
 * I just figured you guys
 * knew each other for longer.
 * Yeah, everybody knows
 * you meet your best
 * friends in kindergarten.
 * Yeah.
 * The only reason you're
 * friends with people back then
 * is 'cause you live
 * close to each other.
 * And because, like,
 * your parents are friends.
 * No, that's not true for us.
 * We're friends because
 * we like each other.
 * And we live close together.
 * And our parents are friends.
 * Okay, come here.
 * Go in, buy two pills.
 * Ask for Benji.
 * Do not mention Hannah.
 * Who's Hannah?
 * I am.
 * Oh.
 * Max: I'm Max.
 * Yeah, I know who you are.
 * Just go in there, buy the pills
 * and then I'll trade
 * you for the drone.
 * Hey, if this goes bad,
 * drive off.
 * Okay.
 * It's not too late to turn back.
 * No. We have to get the drugs
 * so we can get the drone
 * so we can go to the party.
 * Hello?
 * I am your daddy.
 * You are my baby.
 * Yes, daddy!
 * You will stay down
 * here and suffer
 * until you learn to be men.
 * Yes, daddy!
 * What do babies wear?
 * Diapers!
 * Good evening.
 * We're looking for Benji.
 * Hey, dickless! Come here.
 * Yes, daddy.
 * Go find Benji,
 * tell him he's got visitors.
 * Yes, daddy.
 * That's your son?
 * You guys can go sit your asses
 * down over there and wait.
 * Drop and give me 20,
 * you fucking baby!
 * Can I help you?
 * Good afternoon.
 * We would like to buy two
 * pieces of Molly, please.
 * Did Raffi from
 * Sigma Nu send you?
 * He did, that fucker.
 * You guys are like seven.
 * Oh, except for you,
 * I recognize you from Econ.
 * What's up, man?
 * Seriously, I'm not
 * selling drugs to kids.
 * We're not kids, we're tweens.
 * Who told you to come here?
 * Sell us the drugs
 * and you'll find out.
 * All right.
 * Stay there.
 * Hey.
 * How long do you
 * think it's gonna be?
 * You made me high.
 * Tell me who sent you.
 * Hannah.
 * What am I, a speck?
 * So this is what
 * she thinks of me, huh.
 * You can tell Hannah
 * that if she wants Molly,
 * she can suck my dick.
 * You shouldn't talk
 * about a woman like that.
 * The only time she
 * should suck your dick
 * is when she gives you consent.
 * You can suck my dick.
 * And you can suck my dick, too.
 * What about me?
 * I'm just gonna sit here?
 * We're the Bean Bag Boys.
 * We do everything together.
 * Get the fuck out of here, you
 * little fucking babies. Let's go.
 * Get out!
 * Hey, guys, wait.
 * I have something here that
 * might change your mind.
 * Hurry up.
 * Bitch! Now who's the baby?
 * - Holy shit.
 * - What the fuck?
 * If I don't get those drugs,
 * I'm gonna be grounded!
 * And then,
 * I'll never get to kiss Brixlee!
 * Max!
 * What the fuck are you doing?
 * You sell drugs.
 * We came here to buy them.
 * So now you're gonna
 * sell us the drugs.
 * Do not test me!
 * Okay.
 * You want the drugs,
 * I'm not your parent. Here.
 * Thanks.
 * Oh, shit.
 * Oh, you're fucking dead.
 * The fuck's going on down here?
 * She just dropped the charges.
 * Oh, God!
 * Holy shit.
 * Max, watch out!
 * I got your back.
 * Thor!
 * Oh, my God, I just killed a man!
 * Lucas, get the drugs!
 * We were never here!
 * Start the fucking car!
 * What's happening?
 * Fucking go!
 * What?
 * Drive!
 * Drive!
 * Lucas, drugs.
 * No, no, no, no, no.
 * Let me see what's in the bottle.
 * Yeah.
 * Okay, just-just give it to me.
 * Wow, you guys
 * are little badasses.
 * 'Cause we're the Bean Bag Boys.
 * I don't know what that means.
 * We have bean bags.
 * It's been real, guys.
 * Have fun at your kissing party.
 * Thank you!
 * Oh. Only 1.7 miles away.
 * What's wrong?
 * We got the drone,
 * everything worked out.
 * Max.
 * I got punched
 * in the fucking face, okay?
 * We bought drugs.
 * Can we just go home now?
 * Guys, my dad.
 * - Hey, Dad!
 * - Hey, buddy!
 * I got an early flight,
 * so I'll be home in 15 minutes.
 * 15 minutes from now,
 * or 15 minutes from later?
 * Haha, funny guy.
 * I'll see you soon.
 * My dad will be
 * home in 15 minutes.
 * Maybe he won't notice
 * the drone's gone.
 * He'll notice.
 * He's very observant.
 * That's why my mom
 * fell in love with him.
 * The drone has to be
 * home before your dad.
 * I know.
 * Just the drone.
 * Not you.
 * Just the drone.
 * Okay.
 * Here we go!
 * Yeah! Get there!
 * - Careful.
 * - I got this, I got this. Oh!
 * Fly like the wind, Max.
 * Yeah, uh, take a right up here.
 * - I can see your house.
 * - There it is, there it is.
 * The windows are closed.
 * Shit, what do I do?
 * The chimney!
 * It's very tight.
 * You got this.
 * Yeah, I can't see! I can't see!
 * There's ash all over the camera.
 * Use the Force!
 * No, no. I can do this.
 * I know my house perfectly.
 * I can do this with
 * my eyes closed.
 * Don't break anything.
 * Trust me, I got this.
 * - You did it!
 * - Yeah!
 * Yeah!
 * - I'm the best pilot ever!
 * - Yeah!
 * - I think we did it.
 * - Yeah!
 * Mission accomplished!
 * Hey, Dad!
 * Did you get home safe?
 * Uh, huh?
 * I love you.
 * Dad?
 * Dad, please.
 * Say "I love you" back.
 * I need to hear it.
 * Hello?
 * My dad says I'm grounded.
 * And now I'm never gonna
 * be able to kiss Brixlee.
 * It's okay, Max.
 * There'll be other parties.
 * Lucas, you don't get it.
 * He's right, Lucas.
 * This party could
 * change our lives.
 * And you don't even care.
 * It's not cool at all.
 * Yeah, you would know
 * what's not cool.
 * What the fuck does that mean?
 * Go sip a beer, sippy cup.
 * I love beer.
 * So yes, I will.
 * And you might think
 * you're so mature
 * but the truth is,
 * you don't have pubes.
 * And I have six.
 * You say you have pubes,
 * but you also say you drink beer
 * and I know you don't.
 * Stop arguing!
 * Just admit,
 * you skipped the audition
 * because you thought
 * it wasn't cool
 * even though your voice
 * is a fucking gift.
 * And you always talk a big game
 * and you never back it up
 * like in the freeway.
 * Oh, sorry I didn't wanna
 * cross 12 lanes of traffic
 * so you can kiss some skank.
 * Oh, shit!
 * She's not a skank!
 * She's the love of my life!
 * You take that back!
 * Hey, no karate.
 * Stop fighting!
 * You should never
 * call a woman a skank!
 * You should never call
 * a woman anything!
 * And you!
 * You made us ditch school,
 * run around with drugs,
 * and locked a cop in
 * a convenience store
 * with what I now
 * suspect is a dildo!
 * What the fuck are you
 * looking at, Gandalf?!
 * You guys don't understand shit!
 * I have hormones
 * flowing through my body
 * making me do crazy things.
 * Do you even know
 * what it feels like
 * to wanna rub up against
 * a tree all the time?
 * You think you're better than us.
 * Not better, just more mature.
 * I'm into romance
 * and current shit
 * and you guys are still
 * into little kids stuff.
 * I don't even know
 * why we're still friends.
 * Everything you like
 * is now canceled.
 * Birthdays are canceled.
 * Holidays are canceled.
 * Summers, canceled.
 * Winter is coming.
 * I'm sorry, Daddy.
 * No, no, no! You are no longer
 * allowed to call me Daddy.
 * Call me Andrew, or Mr. Newman,
 * or Warden.
 * Beneath that cherubic face,
 * devil lives inside you.
 * I will always love you
 * because you are my son.
 * But I no longer like you.
 * Thorny?
 * I just got off the
 * phone with Max's mom.
 * Did you know he skipped school
 * and biked to the mall by himself?
 * - He said that?
 * - He did.
 * Promise me you'll
 * never do something
 * as stupid as that, okay?
 * I-I promise.
 * And then we run
 * across the highway,
 * my arm got ripped out
 * and a fake woman
 * shot out of a car
 * but we still got the drugs
 * but then we traded
 * the drone for it
 * and Max destroyed
 * his house with it
 * but it was only because
 * he wanted to marry Brixlee
 * and now he can't because
 * he's grounded for life
 * and we got into a huge fight and the Bean Bag Boys are broke up and... am I in trouble?
 * Okay, son, now, look.
 * I love a good story with
 * a bunch of gibberish
 * just as much as anybody, okay?
 * And I know you're going through a stressful time.
 * But it doesn't give you
 * a reason to tell us fibs.
 * I'm not fibbing.
 * I'm 100% sure you're
 * fibbing to me.
 * I'm not fibbing!
 * Okay, I think I understand
 * what's happening here.
 * You think you're losing us.
 * And now, you're worried you're
 * gonna lose your friends, too.
 * Look at me, man,
 * we'll always be there.
 * Right, I mean,
 * don't get me wrong.
 * You know, me and your mom
 * are not the same people
 * we were when we first met.
 * Mm-hmm.
 * Tend to grow apart sometimes
 * but it's okay.
 * You remember your hermit crab?
 * - Herman? Yeah.
 * - That's right, Herman.
 * And you remember why he died.
 * Oh, son of a...
 * You told me he ran away!
 * Technically, yes.
 * He ran away, but then he died.
 * Oh, my gosh, how?
 * Herman died
 * because hermit crabs
 * grow out of their shell
 * and they need to find new,
 * bigger seashells on
 * the beach to grow into
 * or they die and we
 * didn't know that.
 * So, Herman died
 * because of you guys?
 * The point is
 * you and your friends
 * are growing and changing
 * and y'all need to
 * find bigger shells.
 * And there's nothing
 * wrong with that.
 * Okay.
 * We need to blame
 * those pet stores.
 * It's Lucas.
 * You scared the shit out of me.
 * I didn't want your
 * parents to see my face.
 * Why are you even here?
 * I've grown a lot in
 * the last two hours.
 * My parents' divorce
 * has really changed me.
 * If the Bean Bag Boys
 * don't grow together,
 * they'll grow apart.
 * I don't want that.
 * I don't want to get
 * a divorce from you.
 * Then you need to go
 * to Soren's party.
 * You need to sneak out.
 * I can't, I'm grounded.
 * Besides, Brixlee's necklace
 * is still in the kiln.
 * Let me worry about the necklace.
 * And what are your
 * parents gonna do,
 * double ground you?
 * Is Brixlee your forever or not?
 * Then you need to
 * come with me now.
 * Fine, I'll go
 * but I'm not apologizing to Thor.
 * He's not coming.
 * Good.
 * Fuck that bitch.
 * Let me get my jacket.
 * Hey, Max.
 * Yeah?
 * Bring that dick.
 * You said Thor wasn't coming.
 * What the hell's he doing here?
 * Parent trapped your asses.
 * See, now we're all in a bigger
 * hermit crabshell together.
 * It made sense when
 * my parents said it.
 * So you took the blame for us, huh?
 * Yeah, I thought about
 * what you would do
 * and did the opposite!
 * This party,
 * it's gonna be an epic rager.
 * Okay, sippy cup.
 * Stay out of my way, Maxipad.
 * Aww, don't you boys look cute?
 * Everybody's in the basement.
 * I don't even wanna know
 * what's going on down there.
 * Come on in, fellas.
 * Hi!
 * Oh, my God, you made it.
 * Max, I want you to meet Brixlee.
 * Hi, I'm Max.
 * Hi.
 * It's nice to finally meet you.
 * You too.
 * Cool jacket.
 * Thank you.
 * I got it all by myself
 * with my mom.
 * I go shopping with my mom, too.
 * This is going so well.
 * Did you bring the necklace?
 * Brixlee, this is for you.
 * Oh, thanks!
 * Pretty.
 * They're Anal.
 * Oh, fancy.
 * I'm gonna wear this later.
 * Thanks, Max.
 * Wassup, sippy cup?
 * Not much, just, uh...
 * got into a fight
 * with a bunch of men
 * and, uh, stole a beer.
 * It's not like sippy cup
 * is gonna drink it.
 * Not only am I gonna drink it,
 * I'm gonna break the record.
 * I'm gonna take four sips.
 * Four's impossible.
 * Soren can't even do four.
 * Shut up.
 * Drink.
 * That's one.
 * Big deal.
 * That's two.
 * Mm-kay.
 * That's three!
 * This is insane.
 * He's gonna barf.
 * Somebody get him a sippy cup.
 * Sippy cup! Sippy cup!
 * Sippy cup! Sippy cup!
 * Sippy cup! Sippy cup!
 * Sippy cup! Sippy cup!
 * Sippy cup!
 * That's fucking four!
 * Fuck!
 * Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!
 * I'm a fucking alcoholic!
 * Four sips. Badass.
 * Mad respect to Thor.
 * Eyes up here.
 * If you don't consent to kissing,
 * that's cool.
 * You can go play VR upstairs.
 * But if you're staying down here,
 * you better strap in because
 * shit's about to get real.
 * Let's spin a bottle.
 * Well, then it's a good thing
 * I got a bottle right here!
 * Do you remember when
 * we used to dance?
 * And incidents arose
 * from circumstance
 * One thing lead to another,
 * we were young
 * And we would scream
 * together songs unsung
 * It was the heat
 * of the moment
 * I'm out.
 * Where are you going?
 * That was nasty.
 * I'm going upstairs to play VR.
 * If you leave,
 * you can never come back.
 * Oh, no!
 * Brixlee...
 * your turn.
 * C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon...
 * Oh, my God, this is the most
 * dramatic thing I've ever seen.
 * He's not gonna do it.
 * He's gonna do it.
 * I can't do it.
 * People don't change.
 * He's still sippy cup.
 * Wait, wait. Kissy cup.
 * Kissy cup!
 * Kissy cup!
 * Kissy cup!
 * Kissy cup!
 * Fuck off, Atticus!
 * His name is Thor.
 * And everyone knows your
 * mom plagiarized a cookbook.
 * Thor, wait up.
 * I'm sorry I called you a tryhard.
 * No, you were right.
 * This whole time, I've been
 * trying to be someone
 * who I wasn't.
 * I got an earring.
 * I drank a beer.
 * I quit singing.
 * I guess I went a little
 * crazy today, too.
 * Let's get outta here.
 * No.
 * You don't wanna do that.
 * You're gonna stay down
 * here and kiss Brixlee.
 * Bean Bag Boys do
 * everything together.
 * Not everything.
 * Not anymore.
 * Maybe those old girls were right.
 * Maybe we're on different paths.
 * Yeah.
 * What are you gonna do?
 * I don't know.
 * I just know it's not this.
 * No way.
 * This is insane.
 * Forget spin the bottle.
 * Now, go over there
 * and kiss your future wife.
 * Bye.
 * Bye.
 * Brixlee...
 * can I kiss you?
 * Okay.
 * Aaah!
 * Cool.
 * Where am I?
 * Oh, here I am.
 * Lucas, I'm leaving.
 * You sure you don't wanna try this?
 * Nah, I'm good.
 * Wanna go to my house
 * and play Ascension?
 * I don't wanna play
 * Ascension anymore.
 * Then who am I gonna play with?
 * You'll find someone.
 * My face feels so tingly.
 * No way!
 * Oh, my God!
 * This is amazing!
 * I can't believe you guys...
 * are here!
 * This is so amazing!
 * Hi.
 * Please, no, please, no,
 * don't kill us.
 * What happened?
 * How do you know Soren?
 * Is he your boyfriend?
 * He's my brother.
 * I love that piece of shit.
 * You guys,
 * where's everybody else?
 * Where's your friend
 * with the sad eyes?
 * Sad boy Max?
 * In the basement, kissing.
 * It's an orgy down there.
 * You guys aren't into that?
 * Mm-mm.
 * Aww, it's okay.
 * You're only in 6th grade.
 * You guys are gonna figure it out.
 * Yeah, you have your
 * whole life for that.
 * No rush, no rush. I mean...
 * What do you love?
 * Ascension, rules,
 * antidrug campaigns.
 * Grilled cheese.
 * Oh, I could go for a
 * grilled cheese right now.
 * Oh, there's some mean
 * makes grilled cheese.
 * Oh, yeah, that sounds so good.
 * What about you, sleeveless,
 * what are you into?
 * I love to sing.
 * Yes!
 * I actually skipped my
 * audition today for a musical.
 * Now, I can't be in it.
 * No!
 * What?
 * You have to convince
 * him to let you audition.
 * You must. You must!
 * Shh... sing for us.
 * No.
 * Oh, my God, sing for us!
 * Please sing for us.
 * So, no grilled cheese?
 * Sing for us, beer hunter.
 * I-I gotta take a little time
 * A little time to think things over
 * I better read between the lines
 * In case I need it
 * when I'm older
 * Ha-ohhh
 * Now this mountain I must
 * Climb
 * Feels like the world
 * upon my shoulders
 * But through the clouds
 * I see love shine
 * It keeps me warm
 * as life grows colder
 * In my life
 * There's been
 * heartache and pain
 * I don't know
 * If I can face it again
 * I can't stop now
 * I've traveled so far
 * To change this lonely life
 * I want to know what love is
 * Whoa!
 * - Whoa!
 * - Whoa!
 * I want you to show me
 * I want to feel what love is
 * I know you can show me
 * Yeah-ah
 * I gotta take a little time
 * A little time to look around me
 * And I got nowhere left to hide
 * It looks like love
 * has finally found me
 * In my life
 * There's been heartache and pain
 * I don't know
 * If I can face it again
 * I can't stop now
 * I've traveled so far
 * To change this lonely life
 * I want to know what love is
 * I know you can show me
 * Whoo!
 * Hey, yeah, yeah
 * I want to know what love is
 * I know you can show me
 * Oh
 * Let's talk about love
 * I want to know what love is
 * Love that you feel inside
 * Oh-oh-oh-oh
 * Oh-oh-oooh
 * Love!
 * My masterpiece.
 * Thank you, I was real.
 * Hello, Max.
 * I'll be right back.
 * Hey! I didn't think you'd make it.
 * Are you kidding?
 * You know I'd never
 * miss one of your shows.
 * It was so cool when
 * you stabbed that pimp.
 * Thank you.
 * Oh, sorry, Thor, this is Scout.
 * You were really good.
 * I was much better
 * in the matinee.
 * I'm gonna go find Cassie.
 * I thought you're still grounded.
 * It ended yesterday.
 * A month in the hole.
 * Thanks again for taking the fall.
 * You would've done the same.
 * Well, well, well,
 * look who's here, me!
 * - Hey!
 * - Hey!

Yeah.

Max.

My mom said she'll drop us at frozen yogurt if your mom will pick us up.

Great. Be there in a second, babe.

Okay, babe.

So, how's it going with Scout?

Good.

But hard.

But good.

Our relationship is a lot of work.

Don't let anyone tell you differently.

Hey. Uh, Lucas, you still wanna play Ascension with me and the guys later?

I'll be there in a minute.

Classic Lucas.

Carlos and those SCAB guys seem cool.

They're cool.

But they're not the Bean Bag Boys.

Max.

All right.

I guess-I guess I should go.

Yeah, all right. Well...

Yeah.

I missed you guys.

Let's make a promise: Even if we don't hang out all the time... we'll still always be there for the big stuff.

Bean Bag Boys for life.

Bean Bag Boys for life.

Bean Bag Boys for life.

Awooo!

Wait!

There's something I have to show you.

Come up to my parent's bedroom in three minutes.

Yo, guys, check this out.

An indoor swing?

You always have the best toys.

Yeah! Flip that switch.

How cool is this?

Your parents love to play.

What do they do with it?

Thor: They swing on it. Can we go on it?

Fuck yeah.

My darling, I Can't get enough of your love, babe

Girl, I don't know,

I don't know why

Can't get enough of your love, babe

Annabelle: Thor? What are you doing in Mom and Dad's room?

Thor: Get the hell outta here, Annabelle!

Annabelle: That swing is for sexing. People do sex on it.

Max, Lucas, Thor: Oh!

[Credit ends]

THE END