Computer School Blues

(Queen Beryl's castle...)

Jedite: You will be pleased, my queen. I have excellent news about our mission.

Queen Beryl: Your last few attempts have failed abysmally, Jedite, but go ahead. Give me your report. Perhaps you can redeem yourself.

Jedite: I have discovered a new energy source, one that is sure to be most rewarding. Many young humans lust after scholastic achievement and will do anything to succeed, expending enormous amounts of valuable energy.

Queen Beryl: It sounds promising. And how do you plan to gather this energy?

Jedite: By something the humans call a 'computer.' We shall turn their own device against them.

Queen Beryl: Hmm... Carry on.

Jedite: I won't fail you, my queen.

(Serena's house. Serena is on the couch, doubled over in laughter from reading the latest comic book. Mrs. Tsukino hears the commotion.)

Mrs. Tsukino: Serena, please. You're a girl, not a hyena.

Serena: Oh, sorry, but you have to check this out. It's so funny.

(Serena's mother does find it funny, but she remembers something.)

Mrs. Tsukino: Why aren't you studying? Don't you have a test tomorrow?

Serena: Oh yeah, but it's no big deal, mom. It's not 'til tomorrow afternoon. Relax.

(Serena tries to leave, but...)

Mrs. Tsukino: Stop right there.

(Her mother gets sentimental.)

Mrs. Tsukino: Your father and I are afraid you're gonna flunk school. I have to know. Where did we go wrong?

(Works every time. Serena's in tears.)

Serena: Mom, it's not your fault, but it's just not the same as when you were young. There's so much more pressure.

(She sniffles.)

Serena: I need a break from all that terrible tension.

(She sniffles again.)

Serena: Comic books are my only means of survival.

(That excuse is LAME-O!)

Mrs. Tsukino: Oh Serena, I find this all too familiar. That's the same tired old excuse I used on my parents.

(That evening, Serena pretends she's studying while she's really reading comics. Luna keeps a vigil, though she doesn't know about the comic book.)

Luna: Stop chewing on your pencil. It's bad for your teeth.

Serena: But it helps me study.

Luna: Is that your math homework?

Serena: Uh huh, but these problems are really hard.

Luna: Maybe I can help you figure them out. Let me take a look.

(Without warning, she jumps on the table.)

Serena: Ah! No!

(Too late. Luna sees the comics and gasps.)

Luna: Comic books again?!

(Busted! Luna growls in anger.)

Luna: Serena, there's a wise proverb from long ago that goes like this: 'You shall reap what you sow.'

Serena: I hate sewing.

Luna: Not that kind of 'sewing.' Why do you always put off doing your homework... and everything else important, for that matter?

Serena: Why do homework at all, if my destiny is being a Sailor Scout like you're always saying?

Luna: Sailor Scouts need to study. You need to know more about the world.

Serena: But school's so hard.

Luna: The hard part makes you strong.

(Serena still disagrees.)

Luna: Just do it.

(Midnight, at the Crown arcade. Luna walks up to the doors, which open. Having informed her superiors, the arcade has become Luna's contact point. Her rendezvous is the game called "Sailor V's Video Challenge".)

Game: Welcome to Sailor V's Video Challenge. Touch the screen if you want to continue.

(Luna puts a paw to the screen, then immediately says...)

Luna: This is Luna. I'm checking in for my new instructions.

(Central Control has hidden a communication link in the game. Now, it takes over.)

Central Control: Give me your password for voice check.

Luna: I love tuna fish and field mouse pudding.

Central Control: Voice check complete. What do you have to report, Luna?

Luna: Sometimes, I feel like Serena will never live up to her destiny.

Central Control: You must teach her. Be patient.

Luna: Right.

(The game has a special report. It calls up another checkpoint.)

Central Control: Key in your access code. We have new reconnaissance information for you to investigate.

(Luna keys in. A picture of a schoolgirl appears on the screen.)

Luna: Who's this?

Central Control: A new student at Serena's school.

(Another picture appears. This one is a profile view of the same girl.)

Central Control: We sense something about her. She could be from the Negaverse.

Luna: Got it.

(Next morning, at Crossroads Junior High...)

Molly & Loraine: Hey, Serena.

Serena: Hi, guys.

Molly: I heard some new girl's transferred here, and she's a total braniac.

Loraine: Yeah, she's from Brighton Academy.

(Serena and Molly gasp. Brighton is the most elite school in the area. Everyone in Crossroads calls it...)

Serena & Molly: 'The Brain Farm'?

(Melvin pops in.)

Melvin: Somebody call? Did you hear? There's a new girl named Amy. She's from Brighton Academy.

Serena: You're doing a full espionage report on her?

(Melvin nods. Serena then sees someone.)

Serena: Look. That must be her.

(Everyone looks down the hall. About two rooms down is a blue-haired girl. She looks just like the one in the pictures shown to Luna. She looks out a window, a bit sad.)

Melvin: Actually, I'm really looking forward to meeting her.

Serena: Huh? Are you kidding? You've fried too many brain cells, Melvin. She's probably a total snob. You know how those geniuses are.

Molly: You're just jealous 'cause she's a brain.

Serena: Huh?

Loraine: Yeah, now, you'll look really, REALLY dumb.

Melvin: Well, personally, I am looking forward to a scholastic challenge. HAH!

Loraine: Well, maybe she's not that special after all. I mean, maybe she got kicked out of Brighton, you know?

Molly: Woah, a 'Brain Farm' flunkee?

(The two chuckle.)

Serena: Hmm...

(Then Serena remembers about Amy.)

Serena: Oh no. She heard us.

(Amy turns toward them. Serena tries a cover-up. She starts laughing.)

Serena: Very funny joke, Melvin. You oughta be a comedian.

(After school, Serena is on her way home.)

Serena: I can't wait to get home and have a snack... but then Mom will ask how the test went.

(No need to ask how she did.)

Serena: I better slow down.

(Then Serena sees Amy walking down a cross street. She gasps.)

Serena: That's the new girl. She looks really bummed.

(Just then, a streak of black is seen. Amy turns to see what's the matter.)

Amy: Huh?

(It's Luna! She's attacking Amy! Serena gasps.)

Amy: OH!

(Luna jumps off of Amy's right shoulder and lands on her left.)

Amy: Huh? Oh. You sure gave me a start, kitty!

(Amy rubs Luna's chin.)

Amy: What are you doing? Playing 'Lion of the Serengeti'?

('''Luna accepts the rub at first, but then...)

Luna: What am I doing?!

Serena: I wonder what Luna's up to.

Amy: You are so cute with your little crescent moon. I wish I could have a nice kitty just like you.

(Serena sees that everything is all right and laughs. She decides to say hi and get Luna.)

Serena: Luna!

(Luna turns around, sees Serena, and jumps off.)

Amy: Hmm?

Serena: Yeah, come here, my little kitty. That a girl.

(Amy turns around.)

Serena: Sorry she bothered you. Amy, right?

(Serena chuckles.)

Amy: Your name's Serena, right?

Serena: Uh huh.

Amy: Melvin told me about you. He said you thought I would be a total snob.

(Serena gasps in embarrassment. That Melvin...)

Serena: That was just gossip.

Amy: I also heard you guys think I'm a 'Brain Farm' reject.

(Serena walks with Amy, trying to correct that little "faux pas" from this morning.)

Serena: This is a really great neighborhood. It's got everything you need: ice cream stores, hamburger stands...

Amy: Where's the library?

(Different people think of different things.)

Serena: Library? Why do you wanna go there?

Amy: To read. I like to spend my weekends there.

Serena: Are you from outer space or what?

(Amy blushes.)

Serena: No one at our school but Melvin does that stuff.

(She chuckles.)

Amy: Well, what kind of stuff do you do with all your spare time?

(Luna whispers into Serena's ear.)

Luna: Serena, she might be an enemy from the Negaverse. You're going to have to be very careful around her.

Serena: Ha ha ha ha. Don't be silly.

Amy: Why do you think I'm silly?

(Oops. Better cover up.)

Serena: Ha ha ha. Oh, I meant my cat.

(She covers Luna's mouth.)

Serena: Oh, she likes to pretend she can talk by nibbling on my ears.

Amy: I wish animals could really talk.

Serena: Yeah, well, I'm sure most of them would have nothing to say.

(Luna struggles and finally gets her face free. She sits on Serena's arm with an angry look on her face.)

Serena: Don't do that, Luna. Your face might freeze that way.

(The Crown Arcade. Serena is showing Amy the sights. They're at Sailor V's Video Challenge. Serena is struggling to get a good score, but loses. She tries to cover up the fact that she's a poor player.)

Serena: Ha ha ha. Well, that wasn't too bad for not playing in a while. Wanna give it a shot, Amy? This one's really fun.

Amy: I've never played video games.

Serena: Hmm... well, there's always a first time for everything.

(Luna is peeking from behind the game. She's still suspicious about Amy.)

Serena: Just don't be embarrassed if you get a really lousy score the first time.

(Amy gives it a try. She has surprising hand skills and nimble fingers.)

Serena: That's pretty good.

Amy: It's fun.

(She starts to rack up points.)

Serena: All right. You're doing good.

(Soon the score gets even higher...)

Serena: Sure you haven't played this before?

Amy: No.

(...and higher, to Serena's chagrin. Soon, a crowd is gathering to see what's going on. Soon after that, Andrew notices the commotion.)

Andrew: Hey Serena, what's going on?

Serena: Hi, Andrew.

(Andrew sees the score.)

Andrew: Wow, who's playing?

Serena: This is my friend Amy. Uh... not too bad, is she?

(Taking a look at her watch, Amy realizes the time.)

Amy: Oh no! I'm late!

(She ditches the game...)

Andrew: But she had over a hundred thousand points!

(Amy picks up her bag...)

Amy: Oh dear! The professor is going to kill me!

(...and makes her way through the crowd.)

Amy: Excuse me! I have to get out!

(Serena is right behind her. She asks...)

Serena: Hold on, Amy. I'll help you. What's the big rush, all of a sudden?

Amy: My computer course.

Serena: What? More school now?

Amy: Yes, a special computer school, but it's only twice a week...

(Amy steps outside.)

Amy: ...for three hours each. See you tomorrow!

Serena: Bye bye.

(As Amy runs to her school...)

Serena: I sure hope Luna's wrong about her.

(Then Andrew shows up.)

Andrew: There you are.

Serena: Andrew!

Andrew: I'm glad you're still here.

Serena: Yeah? What's going on?

(He shows a computer disk that Amy dropped.)

Andrew: I just wanted to give you back your computer disk.

(Andrew went the wrong way again. Oh well.)

Serena: Oh, is that all? Uh...

Andrew: Huh?

Serena: It's okay, Andrew. Ha ha ha. Must be my friend Amy's. I'll give it back to her.

(At the computer school, students are walking in as their professor (who is really one of Queen Beryl's minions is Garoben) looks on in evil delight.)

Professor: Ha ha ha ha. Excellent. With all of these minds pouring their energies into our program, we should make Queen Beryl very happy.

(So, this is Jedite's plan to turn the computer against the humans.)

Professor: Ha ha ha. Excellent. So many helpless lambs.

(Inside her classroom, Amy realizes that she had forgotten her disk.)

Amy: Oh no! My disk! I must have left it at the arcade. I'll just have to type up my homework right now.

(Amy's professor (Garoben) walks up to her.)

Professor: Hello, Amy.

(Amy gets a scare.)

Professor: I'm very impressed with the energy you put into this course. You're my best student, so I've chosen you to lead the class today. Okay?

Amy: Sure.

Professor: Good. Class will start in a minute.

(The professor leaves. When she's out of earshot...)

Amy: Whew. That was really close. I thought for sure she was gonna scold me for not having my disk.

(Outside the computer school...)

Serena: Ew, ugh. More school? I don't go to school more than I absolutely have to. It's dangerous to my health. But I guess I just have to return this thing.

Luna: Just be alert when you're in there. It could be a trap, all right?

Serena: Come on, Luna. Don't be a scaredy-cat.

Darien: Talking to yourself again, Meatball Head?

(Oh no. Darien!)

Serena: Oh, it's you, Darien. I didn't hear you slither up. Gotta go.

(As Serena and Luna leave, they get the feeling that Darien is still looking at them.)

Serena: What are you staring at?! Huh?

Darien: Strange girl.

(Immediately, Serena and Luna take off down the street.)

(Two blocks down (and three seconds later), huffing...)

Luna: Oh, that was close. I was sure he heard me talking.

Serena: Rats! I've still got this stupid disk, too. Darien made me forget all about it.

Luna: Hey, there's a computer store. We can check it out; see what's on it.

(Serena gasps.)

Serena: What for?

Luna: So we can find out what Amy's really up to.

(Serena gets sarcastic.)

Serena: Oh yeah. She's an international spy, and here are all her secrets. Luna, I think you're going totally wacko on me.

(Inside the computer store, Luna loads the disk into a computer and types on the keyboard.)

Serena: Ha ha ha. You're pretty smart for a cat, you know that?

(Busy with the keyboard, Luna pauses between words.)

Luna: You... could... learn... if you... wanted.

Serena: No thanks.

(A strange screen comes up.)

Serena: Hey, what's all that stuff?

(Luna doesn't like the look of it. Then, a strange sound is emitted from the computer.)

Luna: Cover your ears, Serena.

(Serena complies.)

Serena: What's happening? What's that noise?

(A voice then speaks through the computer.)

Computer: Welcome, students.

(Luna gasps.)

Computer: You have been specially chosen to supply your energy to our great leader, Queen Beryl.

Luna: Worse than I thought! It's a brainwashing program!

Computer: From now on, you shall obey only the plans of the Negaverse.

Serena: No way!

Luna: Your friend is from the Negaverse.

(Soon, they're back outside the computer school.)

Serena: I can't just waltz in there like this.

Luna: You're right. Use the Luna Pen.

Serena: Oh yeah!

(The Luna Pen gives Serena the power to disguise herself. Holding it up...)

Serena: DISGUISE POWER! Change me into a school superintendent!

(It disguises Serena as a superintendent. Now that she's disguised, she rushes in. Finding the room where Amy is, she opens the door.)

Serena: Who's in charge of this bogus class?!

(The students look up. They all have the look of zombies... except for Amy.)

Amy: May I help you, ma'am? Is there an emergency of some kind? Tell me.

(If she's the only one who isn't zombied...)

Serena: No, more like a total meltdown crisis, Amy.

(Amy, of course, doesn't recognize Serena in her disguise.)

Amy: Have we met?

Serena: No time to act dumb now.

Luna: It's time for Sailor Moon.

Serena: MOON PRISM POWER!

(Serena summons the power of her Moon Prism Locket and transforms into Sailor Moon, the Champion of Justice. Amy gasps.)

Amy: Sailor Moon!

(Just then, the professor shows up and covers Amy's face.)

Sailor Moon: What?

Professor: Ha ha ha. Oh Amy, can't I ever leave you in charge for one minute? (As she talks, her true form, the Negamonster, Garoben is revealed.) Garoben: What's with this rude disruption? Can't you see we're trying to conduct a class in here? Now I'm afraid you'll have to leave. Ha ha ha ha.

Sailor Moon: This means that Amy wasn't working for the Negaverse, so now what do I do, Feleinstein?

Luna: Wing it?

(Turning her attention to Garoben...)

Sailor Moon: Let my friend go right now! We know what you're up to, and you're not going to get away with it! I am Sailor Moon, the Champion of Justice. On behalf of the Moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil, and that means YOU!

Garoben: Pop quiz time.

Sailor Moon: Huh?

Garoben: This is a cram school. We want answers. Three fifty-five times two sixty-eight (353x268)?

(Ninety-four thousand, six hundred four (94,604).)

Sailor Moon: Wait a second. You're not my teacher, and I don't have to answer!

Garoben: Time's up, kid. Too bad. You flunked big!

(Garoben sends report cards flying at Sailor Moon, and they have more than failing marks on them. They also have razor edges! Sailor Moon dodges those and the second salvo of cards Garoben fires.)

Sailor Moon: Ha ha, you missed. Is that all you've got?

(More cards are flying. Sailor Moon ends up in a corner. Luna comments sarcastically...)

Luna: Oh, now she's trapped in a corner. What a heroine.

Sailor Moon: This is not going my way.

(More cards fly at her, but Garoben stops them and offers her a chance to surrender.)

Garoben: I'm giving you two choices: one, you surrender now, or two, you surrender later.

Sailor Moon: I'll never surrender!

(Soon, Sailor Moon is trapped by the zombied students.)

Garoben: Are you sure about that?

Sailor Moon: Luna! Help me! There are too many!

(Now Garoben tries to take care of Amy.)

Garoben: Now for YOU!

(She pushes Amy's face in front of the computer monitor...)

Garoben: You thought you could get away from me, didn't you?

(...but when the evil program tries to steal Amy's energy, it gets rejected. Garoben forces Amy's face right up against the screen.)

Garoben: No one can resist my powers. Surrender your energy to the Negaverse. Give in to me now.

Amy: I'll never give in to you, ever! Now let me go, you slimy old witch!

Garoben: Stop resisting my power. Relinquish your energy.

(As Amy struggles, a symbol appears on her forehead. Seeing it, Garoben gasps.)

Garoben: What's this mark from?

(When Amy's head is forced up, Luna sees the symbol... and recognizes it as...)

Luna: Mercury...

(Indeed, it's the symbol of Mercury. That means... she's a Sailor Scout!)

Luna: She's not from the Negaverse. She's one of us. Amy is Sailor Mercury.

(Quickly, Luna flips into the air and produces the Mercury Power Stick. Picking it up with her mouth, she hurries over to Amy.)

Garoben: Ha ha ha. Who needs your energy anyway?

(And she throws Amy to the floor.)

Garoben: You just failed this class. Ha ha ha!

(Her left arm turns into an scythe. Amy sits on the floor, terrified.)

Garoben: SLICE OF THE DEADWOOD.

(Luna is at the other end of the room.)

Luna: AMY! TAKE THIS!

(Luna slides the Mercury Power Stick to Amy. She picks it up and dodges the scythe-arm. Luna gives extremely brief instructions.)

Luna: Shout 'MERCURY POWER'!

(Amy gets up, catches her breath, and...)

Garoben: I've got you now.

Amy: MERCURY POWER!

(The Mercury Power Stick goes into action, transforming her into Sailor Mercury.)

Luna: Whew. Talk about cutting it close. I thought Sailor Mercury was a goner for sure!

(Menwhile, Sailor Moon is about to be mobbed by the other students.)

Sailor Moon: OH LUNA, HELP!

(Luna tells Sailor Mercury...)

Luna: Use your Mercury Bubbles!

(Sailor Mercury has ice power. She uses it.)

Sailor Mercury: MERCURY BUBBLES BLAST!

(The Mercury Bubbles send the entire room into a deep chill and creates a thick fog bank.) Garoben: What's this? Huh? Brrrr, it's cold.

(The zombied students collapse, to Sailor Moon's relief. Then Sailor Mercury's head appears behind Garoben.) Garoben: I'm freezing! (She strikes with her scythe-arm, but it turns out that she had just hit a monitor.)

Sailor Mercury: Missed me.

Garoben: Where are you?

(Sailor Mercury turns to Sailor Moon.)

Sailor Mercury: Sailor Moon, are you all right?

Sailor Moon: Yeah, but the big ugly thing isn't.

(Sailor Moon takes off her Moon Tiara, which turns into a weapon. She pulls back...)

Sailor Moon: MOON TIARA MAGIC!

(...and launches the Moon Tiara. When it hits Garoben, she crumbles to moon dust and soon vanishes. The room soon returns to normal. Freed from Garoben's control, the students soon wake up.)

Sailor Moon: Good, they're getting back to normal.

(Sailor Mercury is recovering from the intense sensations of her first battle.)

Sailor Mercury: Woah.

Luna: Sailor Mercury, you were great. Welcome to the Sailor Scouts.

Sailor Moon: Amy, you're Sailor Mercury. That's so cool.

(Early evening, after the whole business is over...)

Serena: I can't believe that we thought you were a spy for the Negaverse. Oh, I hope you're not mad about it.

Luna: It was my fault.

Amy: No way. Once you saw what was on that computer disk, it was only natural that you'd suspect me. I would've. I'm just glad we beat them.

(Serena chuckles.)

Serena: Now, I don't have to work so hard. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, ah, now that we're friends, will you help me do my homework?

(Oh Serena...)

SAILOR MOON SAYS

Serena: School, what a nuisance.

Amy: My friend Serena thinks schools a drag. But learning can be fun and having a good education can be a great way to give yourself the best start for the rest of your life. I’m going to work on Serena’s study habits; how about working on yours to. Like doing homework before watching T.V or reading comic books. And if you want to be alert and ready to learn, get a good night’s sleep and eat the right foods.

Serena: Food, did you say food?

Amy: Give school a chance; give your future a chance!