A Chinatown Ghost Story

So how we gonna break into the museum, Fong? You want to steal, steal a key. That is not true. I've gone through years of intense physical training. Ninjas are some of the most skilled athletes on the planet. You're just, like, limping around, dude. Now, this is how Casey Jones crosses rooftops. - Lame. - Oh. Will you two keep it down? We're supposed to be looking for Karai. - Sorry, April. I-I didn't mean to - My bad, red. Casey Jones apologizes. Peace hug? Hmm? The Purple Dragons. Yes. Peace hug's over. Let's go! Wow. Steranko's gonna pay through the roof. - We hit the mother lode! - Yeah? Well, you're about to get hit by a mother lode of Casey Jones. And a mother lode of Donnie too. - What the - and April. I had him. - Why'd you do that? - I saved you from a kick in the head. Oh, you were just trying to impress April, - and I - Nice job, guys. Great. You let them get away. Oh, man. We got nothing! That's 'cause you two are losers, yo. Check it out. Greetings, Purple Dragons. You may now bow before your new master, Ho Chan. Huh? I said bow! - You guys have any luck? - Eh, no sign of Karai, but we just had a crazy run-in with the Purple Dragon gang. Oh, man, you beat 'em up without me? What kind of friends are you? We almost had them, until these two goofballs - let 'em get away. - Ah, it's no big deal, April. Those guys are like a level-one boss battle. Who cares about the Purple Dragons anyway? What are you, man some kind of ghost? You can call me "Ho Chan. " I was once the greatest practitioner of the most ancient form of martial arts Hoo-hai-ha! Hwa. Which, to the ignorant, untrained eye, looks like magic. I would have been the ruler of the universe had I not been trapped in this ancient dagger thousands of years ago. We are not so different besides the fact that you are all simpering idiots. What does "simpering" mean? But I can make you buffoons strong, powerful - if you serve me. - Heck, yeah. - Sign me up. - I'm down. As you wish. Moron, I grant you the power of lightning! Stupid idiot, you become thunder! And, numbskull you are wind! Listen, together we will conquer the world. Yes. Now, go find me a lair of opulent beauty worthy of my divine power. What the heck is this? This is your lair of opulent beauty? Well, it will serve. Guys, we've been at this for a week straight. Maybe Karai is gone for good. Okay, dudes, let's use our awesome deduction skills. Where do snakes hang out? Swamps, deserts, forests, pizzerias, ice cream parlors, the arcade, a He's been like that for days. Karai's mutation really messed him up. Sensei's not messed up. He's just healing his spirit. I don't like to see him like this. Let's keep searching. We could really use Casey and April's help. I think they're hanging out at the ice rink. That's a great idea! We could break them up! I-I mean split them up. I mean split them up into two teams. _ Man, I'm incredible! Check me out. Busted up your little lightning bolt, Fong. Wind blows away lightning and thunder. Wind rule Stop messing around. Now, I need you to perform a very important task for me. I need a girl with a very special power. That will return me to my physical form. Mm, yes. I see a girl with red hair and a yellow jumpsuit. No, it it's just a T-shirt. Her name is April o'Neil. - You're doing great. - No I'm not! Whoa! Nice landing, April. Not everybody can be as cool on the ice as Casey Jones. I was practically born in the rink. My old man was on a pro hockey team. - I ever tell you that? - Like, 50 times a week. Honestly, April, I have no idea what you see in that guy. Purple Dragons? Ha! You losers just got your butts kicked. Now you're coming to my house? Um, Casey, did you happen to notice these guys are glowing? Casey! Help! No! April! Nooo! Oh, yeah. And Irma. No Mm. Aha. You have power in you, a power you have barely tapped. It will belong to Ho Chan. Yes. And you you have power too. Power that I do not understand yet. You will explain this power or suffer my W-what? Come on, Irma! - You're some kind of ghost? - Indeed. I have been cursed without flesh for 2,000 years. My power is ancient and vast. But you both exhibit a power I have never encountered, a power that Ho Chan will take to become flesh once more and rule the universe! Now we start the ritual. You're saying you just let them take April? - Listen, these dudes got powers, yo. - "Powers"? They're just a gang of third-class wannabes! No, I'm telling you. They were all throwing lightning bolts and and blasting wind. Like me after I eat broccoli. Ha! Maybe Casey's right. Either way, we got to save April and Irma. Maybe we can let them keep Irma in exchange for April? Classy, Jones. Let's go. I don't like the looks of this. I like the looks of those hats. They're awesome. They're only loser Purple Dragons. How tough could they be? Goongalla! Okay, they're a little tougher than I thought. Shoruken! Now, let's get April and her friend. Ah, behold tortoise warriors. It is said that the great turtle helped the God Pangu create the world. Ha! Fitting that these turtles should help Ho Chan rule it. But, master, why? Because you're losers. Aha! Get out of my sight before I send you to the abyss of infinite morons. - Guys - Your guys are my guys. Bye-bye for now. - We got to go, Donnie! - Move! Let me take the wheel! Are you crazy? Whoa! Ah, they're gone! Yeah, but there's somebody else here. You better start talking, punk. He came out of an ancient Chinese dagger, like a spirit. He promised us great power, but once we had it, he had the power to control us. All I know is his name Ho Chan. Nope, that's not it either. Let me try something else. There he is. "An ancient sorcerer who goes back to the Shang dynasty. " Oh, snap! He's Shangy. "According to legend, the only thing that can defeat Ho Chan is the mystic dagger. " - And what about stopping your bros? - We can't. They're in some kind of super hypnotic state. Nothing can get them out of it. Nothing? The coast is clear. Is the manhole cover cannon completely loaded? Yep, you distract them, and I'll go rescue April. No way. I'll rescue April. You distract them. Um, I think we both just distracted them. Ooh-ha! Oh, yeah! Goongalla! Pizza? Cannot resist the urge. Keep away from it! It belongs to me. I knew that would work. Boast about it later. Let's rescue April. Why don't we both just go up there and whack him while his eyes are closed? - I don't think that's a good idea. - Why? Because I think he's listening to you. Whack me? You don't whack a 2,000-year-old master. - You beg for mercy, and then you - Guys, watch out! Get out of here! - I will call my servants - He's too powerful! to put an end to your physical existence, while I finish with gaining mine. Strange. They do not respond. It's as if some power greater than my own holds them outside. Goongalla! What? You missed. I think it's working. Good! Oh? Pain! Oh, for the first time in centuries, I feel something. Ho Chan is almost human once more. Giant hands my contribution to the ancient arts. Everybody loves giant hands. Yes, giant hands! Irma? Donnie, go for it. I will crush the loud one first. - Hold on, Casey! - No magic necessary. It's all in the reflexes. What? No! Too bad your reflexes aren't as quick as mine. Nooo! Whoa. That was shangy. Awesome job, Donatello. - High three! - Ha! - Ooh. - Hey, everybody. Sorry we're late, but some people were trying to hog all the pizza. So who was the big hero Donnie, Casey? - It wasn't us. - It was all April. Peace hug! Uh, okay, okay. I'm getting kind of squashed here. Where'd weirdo go? You got a bad bump on your head, Irma. Whatever you saw was just a nightmare. Hold on, fellas. I just have to take care of one last thing. Please, I can make you powerful, rich, whatever you desire, seriously! Nooo! I will retur

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