Rave On

You know, Mr. Feeny, just between you and me, it's stuff like this that really makes you unpopular. Sure. And it's lonely at the top. But I save a lot of money on call waiting. What do you have against throwing an illegal rave? - Hey, what is a rave, anyway? - A rowdy underground party. Get hip, Mr. Matthews. - Topanga, do you think I'm unhip? - Of course I don't. Oh, you left your earmuffs at my house. So, Cor, any advance word on where the party's gonna be? - How the heck would I know? - 'Cause Eric's throwing it. What? He hasn't said a word to me. Since fifth grade, actually. Eric, my brother. What's up? You throw the party of the year and I don't know about it. How do you think that makes me look? Short. Come on, Eric. I want in on this. I can help you spread the word. No! Hey, Cor, this is my party. I mean, I'm a senior, I'm gonna graduate in a year or two. I'm gonna make my mark, OK? I'm going out big at John Adams. Come on, Eric. For once you and I could actually do something together. The two of us. The Matthews brothers. I mean, think how proud Mom and Dad would be. Hey. They can never know about this party. Oh-ho, and who would they hear about it from? - All right, you're in. - Yes! Cor, look, you can't say a word to anybody about this. - You got it. - OK. - Shawn, guess who's - Hey! Eric, everything's all set. Chubbie's on board. Oh, so he's cool with us having the rave at his place? No. I mean he's on board - a cruise to Mexico -which means he won't know. - Aha, so finally we have a place to rave. - Well, of course, because who are we? The Matthews brothers. Huh! Get that. - Hey, Mr. Lawrence. - Ooh, harsh. Sorry about that. It's just weird calling my girlfriend's dad by his first name, and not just 'cause it's Jedediah. Oh, Jedediah, let me see it. Let me see it. I love this moment. Wow, it's beautiful. And I know Alan'll love it, but in so many ways it doesn't look done. I know. I spent too much time on the case. Well, I did say our anniversary's tomorrow. Guys, keep Dad out of the kitchen. Mr. Lawrence and I need to discuss reality. Cool. Eric, how could you plan the rave on the same day as Mom and Dad's anniversary? Hey. You're looking at me like I'm inconsiderate. I had no idea when Mom and Dad's anniversary was, so there! - What you got there, Dad? - A 20th-anniversary present for your mom. - And me. - A tub? A turbo-deluxe, Sunset-Tsunami-Super-Spa. Yeah, this baby's got more jets than the Canadian air force. Oh, for you and Mom, huh? No, boys. When you're 20 it's for romance. At your dad's age it's a bubbly place to read. - Hey! You're older than I am, Gordy. - And very well-read. Did you hear that, Eric? Mom and Dad's 20th anniversary. - How could we have forgotten? - Well, we weren't at the wedding. - Well, we gotta get them a present. - With what? - We put all our money into the rave. - Well, then maybe we should cancel it. No. We can't cancel Mom and Dad's anniversary. I meant the rave. Now you're talking crazy. Get that. Hello. Is this by chance the Matthews' residence? Ah, wait. Wait. I see it. - See what? - Amy's nose and brow. Alan's eyes and pronounced chin. You must be their son. Wow, no one in my entire life's ever said I look like my parents. Well, clearly no one else was an Oxford-schooled phrenologist. Oh, are you the cable guy? Hardly. I'm an old friend of your parents. Amy! Amy, you look so lovely. Goodness gracious. You haven't changed. Oh, that is so sweet. - Who are you? - Reg. Reginald Fairfield. Huh! - Who was at the door? - Reg. Reginald Fairfield. Alan. From your college backpacking trip through Europe. How are you? Oh, oh Yeah. You said if I were ever in the States, there'd be a couch with my name on it. Dad, look. Reg. Reginald Fairfield. August 18, 1974. There we are in Windsor. Do you remember, Alan? To be honest, Reg, I don't remember what I had for breakfast. Look at this. Here we are jumping in the fountain at St. James's Park. Hey, who's that sexy babe in that wet tank top? She's pret - Oh, my God. - OK. End of walk down memory lane. Well, I'd love to freshen up. So, Reg, how long do you think you'll be staying with us? Well, as long as I'm welcome. Hear that, hon? He left 20 minutes ago. - I know. He's a little - Annoying. Well, be nice. He did guide us through Europe. He didn't guide us, he followed us. Alan, do you have any softer towels than these? And 20 years later he's picked up the trail. So, tomorrow night, eight o'clock. Yeah. It's a secret party, so I wouldn't know anything about it. Stop calling here. - Dodged that bullet, eh? - No, Eric. I think it hit you right about here! - Hey! What was that for? - Mom heard every word you said. Oh, come on. She has no idea what I'm talking about. Hey, I'm gonna shoot over to Chubbie's, gonna give him the deposit Ooh, who's that sexy babe in the tank top? - That would be Mom. - Ur! Ur! Hello, Mum, sorry to wake you, but I have a free phone. Amy, that man unpacked an awful lot of clothes. Forget Reg, get this. Tomorrow night our boys are throwing us a surprise anniversary party. You're kidding. They didn't forget for once. They are really growing up. - OK. Hot tub's up and running. - All right. Darling, let's go test it out. Uh, not so fast. The little English guy's doing laps. Eric, the rave is cancelled. - What? - Mom and Dad know. Mamma mia! Look, they think the rave is a surprise party for them. - What are they, nuts? - I know. But it's their 20th anniversary, right? And they're expecting a party, so we gotta give them one. So much for making my mark. Right now we've gotta cancel all the rave plans and turn this into a Mom-and-Dad party. - In 24 hours? - Hey, we can do this. And we will, because hey hey, who are we? Couple of great big stupidheads. Come on, Aunt Sheila, it's Mom and Dad's Oh, really? Well, I hope that donor comes through for you. Yeah. Hello? Hello? Hello Adults, adults, I need adults. Adults. Hey, Mr. Turner. Gosh, that sounds so formal for a guy who's almost family. You know, you guys never just come out and ask for a favor, do you? It's not our way. Anyhow, my parents are always saying how much they like you, and with their anniversary just around the corner, I am sure they'd love to have you at their party. - Sure, why not? When is it? - Six hours, no jeans, bring a present. Mr. Feeny. Hey. What are you doing tonight? Hanging with Shawn Hunter at the mall. You know, Mr. Feeny, that is just the kind of sense of humor that makes a guy the life of a party, OK? Mom and Dad's anniversary, George! George, I thought I'd lost you. Yes, well, the best-laid plans Reg. Reginald Fairfield, what are you doing here? Well, your kind neighbor, Mr. Feeny, saw me over the fence and invited me for lunch. I did not. I merely said, "Good morning. Are you staying with the Matthews?" And here I am. Reginald, I'm sorry, but I have a full morning of classes before lunch. Why, thank you, George. I would love to sit in. I got you a band. They're old guys in their 30s but I think they'll be OK. And, Cor, I got you a guy who'll jump out of a cake. - Why would I want that? - It was six bucks, man. - You paid a guy six bucks? - No, he paid me. Hey, Cor. Cor, check it out. I got the balloons. Usually it takes two or three days, but I turned on the old Eric Matthews charm and got 300 of these babies printed up. Check it out. OK. OK. "Happy 20th, Amy and Ellen. " - What? - You better go get your money back, Eric. Oh, what? Am I supposed to do everything? Fine, I'll do it. I'll do it all. OK. I'll see you at the party. Surprise, surprise. They cancelled the rave. I guess the guy throwing it wussed out. Just once I'd like to meet a guy with some guts in this school. Well, maybe he had a good reason. Maybe he was doing something nice for his mommy and daddy. - Well, you pulled this off, Cor. - A full anniversary party in 24 hours. Yeah, well, you know - Eric, what is this? - A surprise party for Mom and Dad. - Yeah, and who are these other people? - These are all our friends from school. And what are they doing at our parents' party? That's right, I didn't tell you. Good news, bro. We're throwing both parties. Eric, you realize right now our parents are on their way over here. Yes, I do. And when they arrive they'll have a blast. I mean, come on. They're fun people. Ten buck cover charge. That means you, Grandma. No, uh, Frankie. Frankie, no. That's not Grandma, that's Aunt Liz. Ten buck cover charge. That means you, Aunt Liz. Aunt Liz, why don't I just give your hand a little stamp? You can go on in. Thanks. You see? I mean, come on, you were worried. This is working out great. Frankie, Frankie! From now on the only people you let through this door are the people on this anniversary list. OK? OK. - Whoa! Name? - Oh, give me a break. Topanga, I need your help. We gotta clear out the ravers before it's too late. - Cor? It's too late. - What? Cory? Cory, Cory, Cory. The cheerleaders are chocolate-wrestling in the kitchen. Well, stop 'em! Oh, OK, but I'm gonna need a can of whipped cream and a really big spoon. Oh, gosh. All right, I know what I'll do. I'll go upstairs, I'll intercept my parents, and I'll tell them that the party's at the restaurant across the street. You guys get the anniversary guests and meet us there. OK? Yeah, so, you know, Wanda, after this party there's a much more exclusive party, and I'm only inviting people named Wanda. Excuse me, Mr. Bull? A word. My valet. Excuse me. Cor, Cor, Cor. Look at that. She's Wanda. She doesn't even go to our school, man. This rave is so big. Yeah, whoopee. Look, Eric, if we hurry we can still get all Mom and Dad's friends across the street before they get here. - Your parents are here. - Of course they are. - Eight o'clock, just like you wanted. - Yes, they're right outside the front door. Oh, by the way, thank you for the lift, Gordon. Well, I really didn't have much choice, did I? You were sitting in my car. Oh! Hey, there. All right. Hey, how are you all doing? Yeah! See, guys, for this party we're gonna try something a little different, a little wacky! OK. See, this party's got a theme, guys. And that theme is - are you ready? That theme is a wedding anniversary. You know, like a uh, a surprise party. So let's pretend that the next two people walking down those stairs are celebrating their anniversary. Now, when you see the happy couple, I want you all to shout "Surprise. " Fun, huh? Huh? Oh, kill the lights. Surprise! Now I know why I never come here. Hey, Matthews. By the way, English class, tomorrow morning? Ten-dollar cover. Oh, your folks are outside. They're trying to get in. If you're not on this list, you don't get in. But the surprise party is for us. For you? Then how come you know about it? Mom, Dad Frankie, it's all right, they're with me. OK? - Yeah, but you said that - Everything I've ever said to you, forget it. OK. Everybody in. I suppose you guys are probably wondering Hey, Cor, give it up. It's Mom and Dad. We can't get anything past these guys. - No, we can't. - Yeah, you know, I mean, it was pretty darn crazy to think we could keep this a secret. Eric, it's a little late for that. I don't think we should Keep their guests waiting? You know something? I completely agree. Why don't you guys go downstairs? And try to act surprised. Mom, Dad, happy big two-O. Just how big a kook are you? Hey, I'm a big enough kook to know that by tomorrow we'll be John Adams legends. And they won't have suspected a thing. Uh, Eric, uh, who who are these people? Oh, Daddy. Does family mean nothing to you? Well, Mr. Matthews, quite a party. Everybody's raving. You're not gonna tell my parents, are you, Mr. Feeny? - No. - Thank you. So long as the man in the neon mohawk doesn't touch me. Uh, Cory, Cory? Could you tell me how we're related to them? Well, um, Dad, um - Eric, Eric? Them. - Dad, do you remember Uncle Howard? How you guys had that big blowout a few years ago? - Uh-huh. - Those are his kids. - Really? - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah. Hey, you with the neon mohawk, don't touch that man. Listen, guys, I just want to tell you that, whatever happened between me and your dad, well, that was my fault. You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? I'm really frightening you now, aren't I? Since it's your anniversary, this is for you. - My watch. - That's how I knew you'd like it. Honey. Having a good time at our party? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You? Oh, yeah. You know what, Eric? - We just might actually get away with this. - Mm-hm. Tomorrow we'll be John Adams legends, and do you wanna know the best part? - What's that? - Your parents don't have a clue. - Exactly. - Yeah. Look, when you found out, we tried to turn it into your anniversary party. In fact, I stayed up all night inviting people. - All night, huh? - Oh, gee. All that time and effort. You know, a card would've done it. Even that would've shown some thought. But this? This just shows that your friends mean more to you than your parents. - No, it wasn't that. - Well, then, what? I just wanted one night, you know? I mean, one night where I'd be remembered. So did we. - Dad, we're really sorry. - No, look, it wasn't Cory's fault. I mean, he wanted to do something special for you, and I I kinda screwed it up. You know, every once in a while it wouldn't hurt to do, oh, one little thing for your parents. - Where are you going? - I don't know. To help Mom collect the relatives, take them over to the house for coffee or something. Cor, Cor, I mean, we've gotta do something. We gotta make it up to them. Hope I'm not too late. It was kinda cloudy and I didn't know when the sun went down. Your mom wanted me to bring this by. - That's it. Come on. Just come on! - What? What? Gordy, you were the best man at my parents' wedding. Their wedding song - do you remember what it was? - Uh, yeah. "My Girl. " - Cory, what are you thinking? We can have the band play it. Shawn, do you know where the band went? They weren't on the list, so Frankie sent them away. Frankie, you ruined the party. How could you do this? Tippy, Tippy. Have you been eating meat? Cory wants his parents' wedding song played for them, and this mall rat sent the band away. And I might have had a meatball. Well, the equipment's still here. That's not a problem, I'll play. Yeah, me too. Let's see, "My Girl. " How does that go? Well, I remember the melody. I'm kinda blanking on the lyrics. - Yeah, me too. - Well, I suppose if you're asking me, I wouldn't mind helping you out. Er, key of key of D, gentlemen, please. - Mom, Dad, you can't leave yet. - Give us one good reason. Honey, they're playing our song. I got sunshine On a cloudy day How did they know? Eric told them. I got the month of May I guess You'd say What can make me feel this way My girl - My girl - My girl Talkin' 'bout my girl My girl You see, I knew this would all work out. It worked out for you, and it worked out for me. Guys, I want you to meet the woman I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. - We've met. Meet your cousin, Wanda. - Oh! Ur! I guess You'd say What can make me feel this way My girl My girl Talkin' 'bout my girl My girl My girl My girl My girl Huh! I'm gonna tell you how it's gonna be You're gonna give your love to me I'm gonna love you both night and day Love is real and not fade away Love is real and not fade away - My love's bigger than a Cadillac - Whoo! I've tried to show you but you hold me back You know something? Nice sound. Yeah. Love is real and not fade away Love is real and not fade away - Hey! - Yeah! Yep! You see, I knew this would all work out. You know why? Because we are Very, very lucky. Very nice. Thank you. So, Gordon, Alan Matthews tells me you have a lovely big home with lots of extra bedrooms. Oh, did he? Well, it's barely a shack compared to Jedediah's place. Freestanding guesthouse. Ooh! Perfect. If you even drive down my street, you're a dead man. Excuse me. I'd just like to tell you that I really liked what I heard. Oh. Nah, it was nothing. We were just messing around. No, no, no. You guys really got something. I mean, believe me. I know what I'm talking about. I used to manage a band. Well, a few years ago. It's a family group. Still got the bus we toured in! The name sounds familiar. It sure would be nice to be able to be able to handle an act without a mother in it. Well, so, call me. You know, you guys could be bigger than the Beatles. - Bigger than the Beatles. - Hm. Nah!