Broke His Crown

Princess Bubblegum: I can't believe I let you talk me into this. It's not like I have a lot of free time, you know.

Marceline: Peebs, you work too much. Imagine a pizza. Only half should be business. The rest should be personal. Personal pizza.

Princess Bubblegum: Yuck.

Marceline: Try to have fun tonight.

Princess Bubblegum: With the Ice King? Not in your everlasting lifetime, girlfriend.

Marceline: I wish you'd call him Simon. He's actually kind of sweet and funny.

Marceline: Can you please try to get along tonight? It would mean a lot to me.

Princess Bubblegum: I'll try.

Ice King: Try anything once, that's what I say.

Marceline: Simon! What's this?

Ice King: It's a present. To bribe you for coming over.

Marceline: You don't have to bribe us, silly. We're here because we want to hang out with you.

Ice King: No one has ever said that to me before. You didn't say, "No take backs."

Marceline: Bottoms down.

Ice King: So, check it out! I upgraded my home karaoke system. Do you like karaoke?

Marceline: Duh! We love karaoke. Bonnie is a dynamo on the mike! Okay. You guys get started, I'll freshen up PB's drink.

Princess Bubblegum: Marceline?

Ice King: Irslerskat prjon! Prjon, prjon Prrrrrrrrrrrrjon!

Princess Bubblegum: Marceline! Get out here quick!

Marceline: What's going on?

Princess Bubblegum: Something's wrong with the I.K.

Marceline: No! Simon!

Ice King: Hi, Marceline.

Marceline: Are you guys pranking me?

Princess Bubblegum: Your friend just majorly malfunctioned! He was jerking around all weird, and his voice sounded like he was possessed!

Marceline: Cool out, B-Bell. I know you love karaoke, but you can't take it so seriously.

Ice King: I hope you like penguin cuisine. It's mostly just shapes.

Marceline: Who doesn't love a good rhomboid?

Princess Bubblegum: You're a rhomboid.

Marceline: Here, Simon. I know these are your favos.

Ice King: Thanks, Gunther!

Princess Bubblegum: He just called you "Gunther."

Marceline: He calls everybody Gunther. Bonnie!

Princess Bubblegum: There's something really wrong with Simon.

Marceline: There's some wrong with Wait. You just called him Simon.

Ice King: Call me whatever you want. This is the best date I've been on since my last date.

Princess Bubblegum: This is not a date.

Ice King: Neither was the last one. It was a robbery.

Marceline: For real?

Ice King: Yeah. She stole my heart. And my crown.

Princess Bubblegum: Your crown.

Marceline: Crubs! He's really flipping out! What'd you do that for?!

Princess Bubblegum: It just makes things easier.

Princess Bubblegum: I'm definitely seeing some weird activity here. It's really, really.

Marceline: You don't know what's going on.

Princess Bubblegum: Maybe I can access it with my VR equipment.

Marceline: Whoa, Bon-bon! This stuff is rad. Why haven't you shown me before?

Princess Bubblegum: I didn't think you liked science.

Marceline: I like games.

Princess Bubblegum: We can play sometime. But this time, it's business.

Marceline: Whoa.

Princess Bubblegum: This is not what I was expecting.

Marceline: Did you press the wrong button?

Princess Bubblegum: I never press the wrong button.

Marceline: Yeah, you always know which button to press. I'm referring to the fact that you know how to annoy me.

Princess Bubblegum: Yeah, I got that. What I don't get is this stupid scenery.

Marceline: At least it's got a pretty killer beat.

Gunther (Evergreen): Wow! Two newbies at the same time! How'd you manage that? Yeah, okay. I guess if you really squeeze together, it could fit you both. Who are you?!

Marceline: Are you a dinosaur?

Gunther:I'm a Gunther.

Princess Bubblegum: Okay, what's a dinosaur doing here?

Gunther: I'm practicing my drums. The others say the acoustics out here are better than in town.

Marceline: What the bleep?!

Gunther:Yeah. That's been happening lately. You're lucky you didn't get rearranged. Ooof!

Princess Bubblegum: Does this circuit look infected to you?

Marceline: I don't know. I only deal in infectious grooves.

Gunther: Sounds like you guys need another brain. I'm gonna take you guys to the the professor! He's the smartest guy I know. Next to Master Evergreen, of course.

Sveinn: Prjon.

Gunther: Hey, guys.

Sveinn: Prjon. Hey, Goontz!

Marceline: Who are those dudes?

Gunther: That's Sveinn. He only wore the crown once. And the guy next to him says he's the first "Santa." Like, what's even a "Santa"?

Marceline: Dude, the Santa?

Princess Bubblegum: Nope. Doesn't ring a bell.

Gunther:Aha! There he is! Professor Petrikov!

Marceline: Simon!

Simon Petrikov: Marcy! Dear! How is this possible? Did my beloved Betty master the secrets of the crown?

Marceline: No. Bonnibel scienced us in.

Simon Petrikov: You must be Betty's little assistant.

Princess Bubblegum: Assistant?! I have been my own boss my entire life. I built my own lab! I've created freaking life forms!

Marceline: Okay! Actually, I haven't seen Betty since she came back to Ooo.

Simon Petrikov: But if Betty didn't send you, why are you here?

Marceline: The crown is going ba-nay-nays.

Princess Bubblegum: It's making Ice King act super weird in the real world.

Simon Petrikov: Yes, I see. It seems to have infected much of the crown's labyrinth. I was actually just about to follow its path of destruction.

Gunther: A quest!

Simon Petrikov: Hey, Marcy, last time, I was so caught up in making things right with Betty that you got left out. I'm sorry.

Marceline: It's okay. I get it.

Simon Petrikov: So, you got a boyfriend yet?

Marceline: Ha! No. There was this guy once, but he was a real jerk, so I dumped him hard.

Simon Petrikov: Wish I'd been there to punch his face.

Marceline: Simon! I can punch my own jerks now.

Princess Bubblegum: It's getting pretty bad. I think we're close.

Gunther: Yeah! Can't you hear my intense drumming?

Princess Bubblegum: Magic Man?

Betty (A.I.): Magic Woman.

Simon Petrikov: Betty!

Gunther: This is the fabled Betty? I always pictured her more majestic. You know, with, guts and stuff.

Simon Petrikov: Betty, please, what are you doing?

Betty (A.I.): I'm re-programming the crown's wish magic. Got to fix Simon. A-ha!

Gunther: I'm a bush!

Marceline: It's just on backwards.

Princess Bubblegum: Betty's the one who's backwards. We got to get her malware out of here before she causes irreparable damage.

Princess Bubblegum: Now!

Princess Bubblegum: Now!

Marceline: Hoo!

Princess Bubblegum: Now! Aaah!

Simon Petrikov: There has to be a part of the real Betty in there somewhere, Gunther. If only I could reach out to her.

Gunther: Okay. Get in there and reach.

Simon: I think I will. Betty? I'm the reason you're doing all this.

Betty (A.I.): I'm busy.

Simon Petrikov: Remember how we met? When we both reached for the same book in the library, and I said you should check it out first? And when you returned it, you left a note inside, because you knew I'd borrow it next? It was the funniest, smartest note I've ever read.

Betty (A.I.): I have to work.

Simon Petrikov: Betty, I love you so much, but you can't help me like this.

Betty (A.I.): I can and I will help you, Simon!

Simon Petrikov: You remember me!

Betty (A.I.): I-I

Simon Petrikov: Stay with that feeling, Betty! Stay with it! Betty!

Betty (A.I.): Simon?

Simon Petrikov: Betty! I can't believe it's really you!

Betty (A.I.): Technically I'm a magical A.I. avatar derived from Betty's memories.

Simon Petrikov: Close enough!

Princess Bubblegum: Shwang! The system appears to be stabilizing. Crown shields are coming back online.

Marceline: What does that mean?

Princess Bubblegum: The crown will re-seal itself off from foreign entities.

Marceline: But I-I can come back and visit Simon, right?

Princess Bubblegum: No.

Betty (A.I.): What about me?

Princess Bubblegum: Don't freak out, but you're gonna be deleted.

Simon Petrikov: No!

Betty (A.I.): It's okay, Simon. I'm just glad I didn't destroy your world.

Simon Petrikov: You are my world.

Gunther: Goodbye, freaks! Don't forget Gunther!

Marceline: Bye, dude. I'm gonna be nicer to penguins from now on.

Gunther: Okay. Wait, what?

Marceline: Whoa.

Betty (A.I.): Before I go, there's something I have to tell you.

Simon Petrikov: Tell me, Betty.

Betty (A.I.): I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I

Simon Petrikov: Betty!

Princess Bubblegum: I'm seeing remnants of Betty's program in the readouts. It's like her data left a shadow print on the circuitry.

Simon Petrikov: So, what was that thing you were gonna tell me?

Betty (A.I.): I just said that for drama. I figured it would drive you crazy, but at least you'd never stop thinking about me.

Simon Petrikov: Betty, I never could.

Betty (A.I.): Mwah!

Marceline: I don't see anything. These are just weird dots to me.

Ice King: My place is trashed and I can't remember a thing. Great dinner party?

Princess Bubblegum: Best I've ever been to. What? I don't like relaxing. I like science.

Episode ends