I Can't Make You Love Hannnah If You Don't


 * Miley: I can't! I'm from Tennessee. We don't do that.
 * Lilly: Well you're in California now, and we do do that.
 * [Jackson and Cooper start laughing]
 * Lilly: What?
 * Jackson: You said "do do"!
 * Miley: Grow up!
 * Jackson: You're the one that can't ask the guy out.
 * Miley: He's Not Just A Guy He's A ninth grader I can't, I Can't just put Eighth Grade moves on him.
 * Lilly: Good point. And besides, he probably doesn't even know you're alive. You're like some dried up insect on the windshield of his life. Not even in the center. You're way off to the side where the wipers don't reach. [making windshield wiper movements] squeak, squeak, squeak, splat. Squeak, squeak, squhieak, squeak....
 * Miley: Lilly.
 * Lilly: What?
 * Miley: This is officially the worst peptalk ever.




 * Miley: Then I ate a napkin, and then Jackson was all, "You said 'do do'" and Lilly was all, "Bug on the windshield," and I was all "Good night everybody!" and that's why we have to move.
 * Robby: Sorry darling.




 * [Robby picks up phone]
 * Robby: Hello...Hold on. Miles, it's for you.
 * Miley: I can't talk to anyone right now. Could you just make something up?
 * Robby: Sorry Josh, she's in the bathroom. It could be a while.
 * Miley: No!
 * Robby: Hold on, sounds like she's finishing up.
 * Miley: Give me that phone. Hi. This is Miley.
 * Jackson: "It could be a while." You, sir, do not know how good you are.
 * Robby: Next time, I'm letting the machine pick up. You realize how much easier life was when she believed boys had cooties?




 * Miley: Yes! I can't believe it. I'm going out with a ninth grader! Woo-hoo! [pumps fist]
 * Robby: Don't believe it, because I'm not letting you! Woo-hoo! [pumps fist]




 * Miley: This is so unfair. [pouts and gazes at her father]
 * Robby: Sad face.
 * Miley: [nods]
 * Robby: [points at his own face] Not-buying-it-face.


 * Jackson: C'mon, Dad. It wasn't long ago that I was a ninth grader. And if he's anything like I was... [suddenly much more sober] You need to meet that boy!




 * Miley: Isn't that interesting? You have your opinion and he has his. You've gotta love a guy who isn't afraid to say how he feels!
 * Josh: I'm a little afraid to say anything right now.
 * Miley: No, you're not. If everybody says that they like hamburgers, then he's not afraid to say that he likes hot dogs! Right? [nods]
 * Josh: Okay. [looks confused]
 * Miley: And some people like skiing, and he's not afraid to say that he likes snowboarding!
 * Josh: Yeah! [picks up magazine with Hannah Montana on the cover] Some people like Hannah Montana, and I'm not afraid to say she stinks!
 * Miley: Abso— What?
 * Robby: Son of a gun. [puts arm around Miley] The boy's got three feet.




 * Jackson: (wearing shades and imitating The Terminator) Hello, I am the Jackson-ator! [takes off shades] These will not be back! (wearing another pair and imitating Ozzy Osbourne) Whoa, rock-n-roll! SHARON!!


 * Jackson: (after Olivia leaves him, puts on shades and imitates Ozzy Osbourne) Sharon! I'm so confused!!




 * Miley:This is so frustrating. I spent all day yesterday trying to get Josh like Hannah Montana.
 * Oliver: How'd it go? [fans out cards]
 * Miley: [smiles and fakes excitement] It went really well. He loves Hannah now, and we're getting married. [voice turns sarcastic] How do you think it went, ya doughnut!
 * Oliver: I'm going to go with not so well.
 * Lilly: Ding, ding, ding! And we have a winner.




 * Miley: Lilly, I'm serious. How can I go out with a guy who doesn't like half of me?
 * Lilly: He doesn't know he doesn't like half of you. So just let him think the half of you he likes is all of you. As long as the other half keeps her mouth shut, the three of you should make a beautiful couple.
 * Oliver: I'll never get chick math. [shakes head]