How Star Wars Should Have Ended (Special Edition)


 * C-3PO: Did you hear that? They've shut down the main reactor! We'll be destroyed for sure!
 * R2-D2: (Beeps)
 * C-3PO: What do you mean, "Not if I have anything to say about it"?
 * Rebel Trooper: That little droid did it!
 * Rebel Trooper 2: Such a Mary Sue.
 * Darth Vader: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who's shooting up all my storm troopers in here?!
 * (They pointed at R2-D2)
 * Darth Vader: R2? Is that you?
 * R2-D2: Whaaaaaoh!
 * Darth Vader: Wait! Come back! Nooooooo!


 * Luke Skywalker: How did my father die?
 * Obi-Wan Kenobi: Oh he's not dead. He's Darth Vader.
 * Luke Skywalker: What!? Darth Vader's my dad!!!!?
 * Obi-Wan Kenobi: Unfortunately, yes.
 * Leia Organa: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.
 * Obi-Wan Kenobi: Well that's convenient. Princess Leia is also your twin sister.
 * Luke Skywalker: Wha?!


 * Guy: You just watch yourself! We're wanted men! I have the death sentence on twelve systems!
 * Greedo: Oh, really? I bet you two are worth a lot of money. Let's go!
 * Guy: Awe... Yep. Shouldn't have said that out loud.
 * Han Solo: I would've just shot that guy.


 * Han Solo: You know it's not gonna take them long to figure out what happened to us.
 * Stormtrooper: They went down the garbage shoot!
 * Stormtrooper 2: What do we do now?


 * Stormtrooper: Sounds good to me!
 * Stormtrooper 2: This place is dead anyways.


 * Stormtrooper: Oh, no! Aaaaagh! OH look out! What have we done! AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!