The Boombox


 * Oh Nigel!
 * Oh, hello Miss Simian! Here's that cup of pig sweat you asked for.
 * Mmm! My favorite!
 * Now I've been meaning to talk to you about how very ugly you are.
 * Oh really? [Giggles]
 * I used to think that you were just regular ugly. But now that I'm up this close, I see that you're full on mega-gross. Makes me want to kiss you.
 * Mmm. You taste like garbage quiche.
 * I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. I was distracted by your rancid breath.
 * So long, sucker!
 * Chimpanzee you later!
 * Oh! Let's do those guys!
 * He was an ordinary guy who was never good at anything until he found out he could... jump! I've already lost your brother to jumping. I am not gonna lose you!  Boom! He had all the talent, but none of the discipline.
 * I'm just the kid from lower east Elmore. I don't know nothin' about jumpin'.
 * Then don't jump, kid, just push the world away.
 * Jump! Coming soon to a playground near you. Rated PG-13.
 * Would you guys quit it? You're throwing me off my game.
 * Well, excuse us for trying to add some drama to your life.
 * Pfft.
 * A wicked chicken wrote a check for a wall?
 * You, uh, licked the bricks you didn't fix?
 * Okay, I'll try to say this politely but you're gonna need to read between the lines. Due to personal circumstances I am unable to commit sufficient resources to resolve this communication problem.
 * Hey! Show some understanding. He's doing his best to communicate.
 * That... just sounded like you said you were running from the butt police.
 * I think we need to find out what he wants before he chokes on his tape.
 * Too late.
 * Pfft.
 * A wicked chicken wrote a check for a wall?
 * You, uh, licked the bricks you didn't fix?
 * Okay, I'll try to say this politely but you're gonna need to read between the lines. Due to personal circumstances I am unable to commit sufficient resources to resolve this communication problem.
 * Hey! Show some understanding. He's doing his best to communicate.
 * That... just sounded like you said you were running from the butt police.
 * I think we need to find out what he wants before he chokes on his tape.
 * Too late.
 * Okay, I'll try to say this politely but you're gonna need to read between the lines. Due to personal circumstances I am unable to commit sufficient resources to resolve this communication problem.
 * Hey! Show some understanding. He's doing his best to communicate.
 * That... just sounded like you said you were running from the butt police.
 * I think we need to find out what he wants before he chokes on his tape.
 * Too late.
 * I think we need to find out what he wants before he chokes on his tape.
 * Too late.
 * Too late.

Deciphering Beatbox

 * Okay. I'm gonna use the online translator. So what language do you speak?
 * Come on. At least make an effort to speak to him in a way he can understand. What... language... do you speak?!
 * Uhp! Please try and articulate this time.
 * I'm gonna type that the way I heard it.
 * Elmore Search says, "Do you need medical help?" I'm tempted to say yes!
 * Gumball, you're not being very constructive. What... country... do you come from?!
 * Don't worry, I got this. What country do boombox heads come from?
 * Gumball! Uh, uh, what my ignorant friend here is trying to say is, "Where do bi-speakered, parallelepipedic electrical leisure appliances come from?"
 * Ugh, you make it sound like a disease. Ah, Boomboxembourg!
 * That's right, home... where you have over five-hundred different words for disco.
 * But only discovered fire in 1992.
 * Oh, don't blame me! Blame your cavemen.
 * Of course, why didn't we think of that? You can just write what you want to say.
 * What the? Dude, you need to type words, not cockroach noises.  Hmm, there's no direct translation for this in English. But it will translate into  French, which will translate into Spanish, which will translate into Japanese, which will translate into Swahili, then Chinese, then Indian, then Portuguese, then Danish, then back into English, simple.  "The reign of the ape is no more?"
 * That's right, home... where you have over five-hundred different words for disco.
 * But only discovered fire in 1992.
 * Oh, don't blame me! Blame your cavemen.
 * Of course, why didn't we think of that? You can just write what you want to say.
 * What the? Dude, you need to type words, not cockroach noises.  Hmm, there's no direct translation for this in English. But it will translate into  French, which will translate into Spanish, which will translate into Japanese, which will translate into Swahili, then Chinese, then Indian, then Portuguese, then Danish, then back into English, simple.  "The reign of the ape is no more?"
 * Of course, why didn't we think of that? You can just write what you want to say.
 * What the? Dude, you need to type words, not cockroach noises.  Hmm, there's no direct translation for this in English. But it will translate into  French, which will translate into Spanish, which will translate into Japanese, which will translate into Swahili, then Chinese, then Indian, then Portuguese, then Danish, then back into English, simple.  "The reign of the ape is no more?"
 * What the? Dude, you need to type words, not cockroach noises.  Hmm, there's no direct translation for this in English. But it will translate into  French, which will translate into Spanish, which will translate into Japanese, which will translate into Swahili, then Chinese, then Indian, then Portuguese, then Danish, then back into English, simple.  "The reign of the ape is no more?"

Celebration

 * and : MS. SIMIAN'S RETIRED!!!
 * Oh! Oh!
 * And you've won this amazing, new car!
 * Elmore Wings. We may not have the legroom, but there's plenty of seats.
 * and : MS. SIMIAN'S RETIRED!!!
 * The majestic cheetah; fastest land mammal on Earth. Capable of reaching speeds of up to…oh.
 * I think I've finally watched too much TV! Maybe I should read a book. "Chapter 1. Gumball and Darwin ran through the living room... screaming"?
 * MS. SIMIAN'S RETIRED!!! SCHOOL'S OVER!!!
 * Number One: I am not retired; and number two: if I was retiring, you'd still have to go to school.!
 * Ugh!
 * What are you doing out here?
 * [Awkwardly] Uhh.. Well... I felt sure it was a fire drill, and I was uh… ALL YOU KIDS BACK INSIDE, YOU HEAR ME!?
 * Good job, Watterson. [Everyone walks back inside, looking angry]
 * [Sighs] Curse word. [Walks back inside with the others]
 * Why would anyone think I was retiring?
 * Well, you are kind of old... and bald.
 * BALD!? [Quickly feels head]
 * Not bald, my paddle. It's just gravity has turned your hair into a beard.
 * I'VE GOT A BEARD?! Hmm… the only honorable way out of this is to turn my embarrassment into anger. DETENTION FOR BOTH OF YOU!
 * Ugh!
 * What are you doing out here?
 * [Awkwardly] Uhh.. Well... I felt sure it was a fire drill, and I was uh… ALL YOU KIDS BACK INSIDE, YOU HEAR ME!?
 * Good job, Watterson. [Everyone walks back inside, looking angry]
 * [Sighs] Curse word. [Walks back inside with the others]
 * Why would anyone think I was retiring?
 * Well, you are kind of old... and bald.
 * BALD!? [Quickly feels head]
 * Not bald, my paddle. It's just gravity has turned your hair into a beard.
 * I'VE GOT A BEARD?! Hmm… the only honorable way out of this is to turn my embarrassment into anger. DETENTION FOR BOTH OF YOU!
 * I'VE GOT A BEARD?! Hmm… the only honorable way out of this is to turn my embarrassment into anger. DETENTION FOR BOTH OF YOU!

Second Boombox Message

 * : That's the last time I try to help a... [Bumps into Juke's face]
 * : [Gasps, mockingly] What's that? Your little TV fell down the well?
 * : No? You found a treasure, and now we can save the town from the evil contractors?
 * : [Facepalm]
 * : No? Then I suggest that you should go to the library and learn some english, dude. Because I'm officially giving up on you.
 * : [Angry beatbox sounds, shaking himself]
 * : I don't understand what you're saying!
 * : You know, I speak a little beatbox.
 * : [Sigh] Of course you do. I bet you learned it while parachuting (??) orphan polar bears.
 * : [Laughs] No. I just learned some because I wanted to make Juke feel welcome in our school. [He proceeds to beatbox by rubbing the wall, and letting out his air.]
 * : What did you say?
 * : I ask the way to the beach, and "how much is this taco?"
 * : What?
 * : I don't know. Its the only words I know how to say. But I think he kept saying "Grobblefest."
 * : Grobblefest? What does that mean?
 * : Well, I could try to-
 * : [Laughs] Principal Brown?
 * : I'm sorry, what? [Walks away]
 * : No, no, I'm- [Laughs] That's what happens when you mess with static! [Laughs again] [Sees Principal Brown walking into boy's toilet] Uh oh no, no, no, no NOOOOOO!!!! [Goes to bathroom with principal]
 * : I'm sorry dude, but I don't understand what you want. Bye.
 * : [Runs to Gumball and Darwin]
 * : [Sighs] [Ties Juke to a pipe] Stay! [Walks away]
 * : [Sighs]
 * : I'm sorry, what? [Walks away]
 * : No, no, I'm- [Laughs] That's what happens when you mess with static! [Laughs again] [Sees Principal Brown walking into boy's toilet] Uh oh no, no, no, no NOOOOOO!!!! [Goes to bathroom with principal]
 * : I'm sorry dude, but I don't understand what you want. Bye.
 * : [Runs to Gumball and Darwin]
 * : [Sighs] [Ties Juke to a pipe] Stay! [Walks away]
 * : [Sighs]
 * : [Sighs]

Importance of Grobblefest

 * : Ah! Apparently Grobblefest is the huge coming-of-age ritual that's been celebrated by his country for generations.
 * : [While reading book] If its so big, how come I haven't heard of it?
 * : Uh, Mount Everest?
 * : Huh?
 * : [Frowning] The Atlantic Ocean?
 * : What?
 * : Thursday?
 * : You can make up as many words you like, but its not gonna prove whatever point you're trying to make.
 * : But this is what Juke's been wanting us to do the whole time! Celebrate Grobblefest. It's really important to his people. It's a ritual about becoming a man. [Gumball yawns] They love it! It makes them feel like this:
 * : Yeah. Well, this is how much I feel:
 * : WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? You call Juke a boombox head, you insulted his culture, and when he asked you for some help and understanding, you tie him up to a pipe like a dog! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? YOU'RE A BAD FRIEND! Like this guy:
 * : [Sigh]
 * : You're right. I'VE BEEN A THUNDERJERK! But don't worry, I'm gonna overcompensate for my guilty in the most extreme way possible, Darwin, bring out those coming-of-age rituals. I'm gonna throw Juke the most hardcore Grobblefest there's ever been!
 * : WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? You call Juke a boombox head, you insulted his culture, and when he asked you for some help and understanding, you tie him up to a pipe like a dog! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? YOU'RE A BAD FRIEND! Like this guy:
 * : [Sigh]
 * : You're right. I'VE BEEN A THUNDERJERK! But don't worry, I'm gonna overcompensate for my guilty in the most extreme way possible, Darwin, bring out those coming-of-age rituals. I'm gonna throw Juke the most hardcore Grobblefest there's ever been!
 * : You're right. I'VE BEEN A THUNDERJERK! But don't worry, I'm gonna overcompensate for my guilty in the most extreme way possible, Darwin, bring out those coming-of-age rituals. I'm gonna throw Juke the most hardcore Grobblefest there's ever been!
 * : You're right. I'VE BEEN A THUNDERJERK! But don't worry, I'm gonna overcompensate for my guilty in the most extreme way possible, Darwin, bring out those coming-of-age rituals. I'm gonna throw Juke the most hardcore Grobblefest there's ever been!

Gumball's Grobblefest

 * : Okay, Juke. It's time to swim the lake of boyhood, and emerge a man… Happy Grobblefest! [Pushes Juke into the pool]
 * : You should be ashamed!
 * : What? This is what I've read on the internet. Besides, we've come the stick. We can pull him out, anytime.
 * : It's not that. It's because you're just doing this out of guilt!
 * : Well, why else are you supposed to help people?
 * : [Inhales] Hold this for me, buddy.
 * : Look. You help someone because you have to show the right example to people.
 * : So, that's what it's all about. [Mockingly] Feeling superior.
 * : It's not about feeling superior! It's about doing the right thing!
 * : Well, you might wanna pull him out then.
 * : Come on now, buddy! Second part of the ritual! Time to be a man. You don;t want to be a Grobble-fail. EAT IT, and take its strength!
 * : Come on, man! You can do it! Eat it. Eat it! You can do it, buddy! You're almost there.
 * : Doesn't it occur to you that maybe you've got this wrong?
 * : It's not about feeling superior! It's about doing the right thing!
 * : Does it occur to you that you might hurt your neck looking down on people all the time? This is the best I can do! You're welcome to go to the zoo, and steal a crocodile if you really want to do it by the book. COME ON, dude. Man up!
 * : Alright, I'll show you. What's so hard about this.
 * : [Whispers sadly] Maybe I should send it to sleep first. [Sings] Go to sleep, little squirrel. [Whispers] [Gets bitten by squirrel]
 * : Hmm. You know, if you think about it, a cow is better than a squirrel. I mean, what a pretty powerful animal. If you had the strength of a cow, that'd be pretty hardcore. Okay! Now that your soul is cleansed and your body is full of the sacred power of the cheeseburger, it is time for the ritual's GROBBLE-FIGHT!
 * : This is pathetic.
 * : What!? This is perfect!
 * : It's just as good as a sword and shield, and a bow and arrow. It's all there in spirit. Okay, let's get started! 3…
 * : 2… 1… Grobble-fight!
 * : Your making a mockery of his culture- [Gets orange in mouth]
 * : You still don't get it, do you?
 * : Oh, I get it alright. You're a finger-pointer, and now I'm doing the right thing. You can't point your little flipper at me anymore, and that's why you're so butthurt. But the truth is, I'm actually doing something, and you're not helping at all!
 * : I AM helping! [Throws lid]
 * : [Dodges, and throws shoe]
 * : [Tackles Gumball]
 * : OW! Right in the… [Gasps] The switch. You finally flipped the switch! [Laughs] I've been trying to explain this for two years: my arms are too short to reach it!
 * : Guys, guys. You can stop fighting. I appreciate the effort, butI have no idea what this "Grobblefest" thing is. Boomboxembourg is a continent. There's more than one country, you know. Scratchistan, Loopsynberg, Rapia, the Democratic Republic of Rhythm-
 * : Be quiet, Juke! We're trying to help you!
 * : [Pulls ears] You're just helping in a half-baked way to feel better about yourself!
 * : [Gets on top of Darwin] Hang on! We're both trying to do good here. There's no reason to be fighting!
 * : I agree! I'm sorry for making you feel bad!
 * : And I'm sorry for fighting with you!
 * : Well, you can stop throttling me then.
 * : Well, at least we made someone happy today. Happy Grobblefest, Juke!
 * : Oh NO NO, GUYS WAIT-!
 * : [Angry beatbox noises]
 * : [Sighs] Look at that. You try and help people, and that's what you get.
 * : [Tackles Gumball]
 * : OW! Right in the… [Gasps] The switch. You finally flipped the switch! [Laughs] I've been trying to explain this for two years: my arms are too short to reach it!
 * : Guys, guys. You can stop fighting. I appreciate the effort, butI have no idea what this "Grobblefest" thing is. Boomboxembourg is a continent. There's more than one country, you know. Scratchistan, Loopsynberg, Rapia, the Democratic Republic of Rhythm-
 * : Be quiet, Juke! We're trying to help you!
 * : [Pulls ears] You're just helping in a half-baked way to feel better about yourself!
 * : [Gets on top of Darwin] Hang on! We're both trying to do good here. There's no reason to be fighting!
 * : I agree! I'm sorry for making you feel bad!
 * : And I'm sorry for fighting with you!
 * : Well, you can stop throttling me then.
 * : Well, at least we made someone happy today. Happy Grobblefest, Juke!
 * : Oh NO NO, GUYS WAIT-!
 * : [Angry beatbox noises]
 * : [Sighs] Look at that. You try and help people, and that's what you get.
 * : Oh NO NO, GUYS WAIT-!
 * : [Angry beatbox noises]
 * : [Sighs] Look at that. You try and help people, and that's what you get.
 * : [Angry beatbox noises]
 * : [Sighs] Look at that. You try and help people, and that's what you get.