Fred Goes Camping

Fred: Hey, it's Fred! And as I already told you, I'm going camping. But it kinda sucks because I can't afford a tent. But it's okay because I'm just gonna make a tent out of bar stools and blankets now. So yeah, it's gonna be really fu-

Fred's Grandmother: (offscreen) Fred, camping outside is dangerous.

Fred: Grandma, I've been planning this for a long time, please?

Fred's Grandmother: (Offscreen) There's no way, Fred. Get inside now!

Fred: Seriously? Gosh! (To us) My grandma's so annoying, she has to take the fun out of everything! She's such an old, wrinkly hag. I didn't even think that my grandma would notice I was outside because she's too busy watching something on TV called "The Presidential Democratic...Convention" or something like that. That's just my personal theory but...

Fred's Grandmother: (Offscreen) Fred, what did I tell you? Get inside now!

Fred: Okay, I'm coming. Gosh Grandma, you have to ruin all the fun.

(Fred is now inside.)

Fred: I'm really mad that my grandma wouldn't let me camp outside. But I didn't get mad because I've been practicing holding in my temper tantrums. It's been pretty hard but so far it's working out. Even though I wanna poison my grandma's spoon when she's not looking, I'm gonna hold it back. Okay, well I'm gonna start making the tent.

(Fred now appears in front of the tent he made.)

Fred: Okay, well I just made my tent, you can see it behind me. And I know I'm not an architect or anything but this turned out really hacking awesome. I don't even care if it sounds like I'm bragging. The only thing that's gonna kinda be bad is that I don't have any pillows. A few nights ago, I let the cat with rabies sleep with me in my bed and...she had a few accidents. So my grandma just threw away all the pillows.

(Fred is now looking out the window.)

Fred: Good thing I didn't go camping outside, it's raining! That would've just been down right stupid.

(Fred is now in his tent.)

Fred: Hey guys, I'm inside the tent now. It's kind of lame because I just have to lay down the whole time because the tent is too short. But like I said, I'm not an architect so don't even laugh. My grandma said that if you're mean to people, then you're not gonna go very far in this world. (singing) I'm sleeping in my tent, I'm sleeping even though it's still light out! Oh my gosh, there's a bird behind me!

(Fred is making a bird shadow puppet.)

Fred: I learned how to do that bird thing at school today. My first day of Kindergarten was today. It was kinda stupid but I have some really good news to tell you. I'm auditioning for a play! At school I was walking down the hallway and I saw a flyer that said that there was Auditions for a play called "Greece". I really don't know what the play's about, it's kinda weird how it's called "Greece" because last time I checked, greece is stuff on ￼￼a hamburger. So yeah, I decided that the way I'm gonna get famous is by becoming an actor. And then later in my career I can cross over and become a singer.

Fred: Okay, well I'm back inside the tent because it's getting really dark out. Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you guys that I'm really scared right now. Because somehow YouTube found out that I was not old enough to have a YouTube account. And they said that people who are under age and have YouTube accounts, are diminishing the user experience on their site. But whatever I'm just gonna lie and say that I'm way older than I really am. Oh my gosh, I just thought of something. What if a grizzly bear tries to come into my tent? But I guess that probably won't happen but I'm still kind of worried. Whatever, I'm just gonna go to sleep.

(Fred tries to go to sleep. Then...)

Voice: I'm a grizzly bear and I'm gonna hurt you! You better get out of the tent right now or I'm gonna eat you!

Fred: Okay, I'll get out! I just got out of the tent and there's nothing here. I really don't know how this could happen-

Kevin: (offscreen) Oh my God, what a loser, you were camping inside your house, dude.

Fred: What the heck, Kevin? Why are you inside my house you creep, get out!

Kevin: (offscreen) such a loser, wait until I tell the whole entire school about this. ￼

Fred: Wait until I tell everyone how you creeped into my house, GET OUT! (to us) Oh my gosh, he just left and everything but I'm still really scared because he's gonna tell everyone! Whatever, I'm just gonna sleep on my grandma's bedroom floor now. I always sleep on my grandma's bedroom floor whenever I'm scared. Okay, well I guess I'm gonna go then. Wish me luck because my auditions are coming up soon. Bye.

(video ends.)