The Emotion Detection Automation


 * Howard (to Raj): Is that any way to talk to your future husband?[first lines]


 * Penny: Hey, boys, .how's it going?
 * Sheldon: I thought we were having a nice conversation. but it turns out I was being offensive
 * Bernadette: So, normal, hm?


 * Sheldon: Well, I would prefer if people told me exactly what is on their mind.
 * Penny: No, no, you don't; you really don't. I can't actually say don't enough.


 * Bernadette: You know, I just read that a team at MIT developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
 * Leonard: And you think we can get those guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.
 * Bernadette: It's supposed to be accurate like eighty-five percent of the time.
 * Penny: Wow, I find that hard to believe.
 * Leonard: That a bunch of awkward scientists with no social skills would invent a machine to do it for them?
 * Penny Hofstadter: I take it back; I believe it.

[last lines]
 * Penny: So, did you wind up sending that machine back?
 * Sheldon: I did .Uh, I'm not even sure how accurate it was. I took it to the trains store; it said everyone was sad.
 * Bernadette: I finally got Halley to sleep.
 * Penny: You know, I just read a study that suggests new mothers are better at sensing emotions for up to two years.
 * Amy: It's true. Pregnancy causes physiological changes in the brain that result in increased empathy. 
 * Penny: Oh, so all we need to do is get Sheldon knocked up.
 * Leonard: Can't. He was already fixed when I found him at the shelter.
 * Sheldon: Hey, uh, Bernadette, let's test this theory. What do you think I'm feeling right now?
 * Bernadette: Let's .see. You're better than us, a little bit sorry for us, but mostly glad you don't have to be us.
 * Sheldon: [to Howard] Keep filling this one with babies; she's good.