The Deputation

Ringo Starr UK Version:
 * Ringo Starr: Snow came early to the Island of Sodor. It was heavier than usual. Most engines hate snow. Donald and Douglas were used to it. Coupled back to back, with a van between their tenders and a snow plough on their fronts, they set to work. They puffed backwards and forwards patrolling the line. Generally the snow slipped away easily, but sometimes they found deeper drifts. Presently they came to a drift which was larger than most. They charged it, and were just backing for another try. When…
 * (The twins hear an engine’s whistle, then Douglas spots Henry stuck in the snowdrift.)
 * Douglas: Losh sakes, Donal, it’s Henry! Dinna fash yersel, Henry. Wait a while. We’ll hae ye ott!
 * Ringo Starr: Henry was very grateful. He saw all was not well. The twins were glum. They told him that the Fat Controller was returning soon.
 * Donald and Douglas: He’ll send uz back for shair.
 * Percy: It’s a shame!
 * Ringo Starr: Said Percy.
 * Gordon: A lot of nonsense about a broken signal box.
 * Ringo Starr: Grumbled Gordon.
 * James: That spiteful Brake van too.
 * Ringo Starr: Put in James.
 * James: Good riddance. That’s what I say.
 * Henry: They were splendid in the snow.
 * Ringo Starr: Added Henry.
 * Henry: It isn’t fair.
 * Ringo Starr: They all agreed that Something Must Be Done, but none knew what. Percy decided to talk to Edward about it.
 * Edward: What you need.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Edward.
 * Edward: Is a Deputation.
 * Ringo Starr: He explained what that was. Percy ran back quickly.
 * Percy: Edward says we need a… a Depotstation.
 * Gordon: Of course.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: The question is…
 * Henry: …what is a desperation?
 * Ringo Starr: Asked Henry.
 * Percy: It’s when engines tell the Fat Controller something’s wrong.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Percy.
 * Duck: Did you say tell the Fat Controller?
 * Ringo Starr: Asked Duck thoughtfully. There was a long silence.
 * Gordon: I propose.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: That Percy be our – er – hum – disputation.
 * Percy: HI!
 * Ringo Starr: Squeaked Percy.
 * Percy: I can’t.
 * Henry: Rubbish Percy.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Henry.
 * Henry: It’s easy.
 * Gordon: That’s settled them.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Gordon. Poor Percy wished it wasn’t!
 * The Fat Controller: Hullo Percy! It’s nice to be back.
 * Ringo Starr: Percy jumped.
 * Percy: Er y-yes-yes Sir, please Sir.
 * The Fat Controller: You look nervous, Percy. What’s the matter?
 * Percy: Please Sir, they’ve made me a Desperation Sir. To Speak to You Sir. I don’t like it Sir.
 * Ringo Starr: The Fat Controller pondered.
 * The Fat Controller: Do you mean a Deputation, Percy?
 * Percy: Yes Sir, please Sir. It’s Donald and Douglas Sir. They say, Sir, that if you send them away, Sir, they’ll be turned into Scrap, Sir. That would be dreadful, Sir. Please Sir, don’t send them away…
 * The Fat Controller: Thank you, Percy. That will do.
 * Ringo Starr: Later the Fat Controller spoke to the engines.
 * The Fat Controller: I had a – er – deputation. I understand your feelings but I do not approve of interference.
 * Ringo Starr: He paused impressively.
 * The Fat Controller: Donald and Douglas, I hear that your work in the snow was good. You shall have a new coat of paint.
 * Ringo Starr: The twins were surprised.
 * Donald and Douglas: Thankye Sirr.
 * The Fat Controller: But your names will be painted on you. We’ll have no more “mistakes”.
 * Donald and Douglas: Thankye Sirr. Dis this mean that the baith o’ uz…?
 * Ringo Starr: The Fat Controller smiled.
 * The Fat Controller: It means…
 * Ringo Starr: But the rest of his speech was drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles. The twins were here to stay.

George Carlin US Version:
 * George Carlin: Snow came early to the Island of Sodor. It was heavier than usual. Most engines hate snow. Donald and Douglas were used to it. Coupled back to back, with a van between their tenders and a snow plough on their fronts, they set to work. They puffed backwards and forwards patrolling the line. Generally the snow slipped away easily, but sometimes they found deeper drifts. Presently they came to a drift which was larger than most. They charged it, and were just backing for another try. When…
 * Henry: Help, help.
 * Douglas: Losh sakes, Donal, it’s Henry! Don't worry yersel, Henry. Wait a while. We’ll hae ye ott!
 * George Carlin: Henry was very grateful. He saw all was not well. The twins were looking glum. They told him Sir Topham Hatt was making a decision.
 * Donald and Douglas: He’ll send uz awa' for shair.
 * Percy: It’s a shame!
 * George Carlin: Said Percy.
 * Gordon: A lot of nonsense about a broken signal box.
 * George Carlin: Grumbled Gordon.
 * James: That spiteful Brake van too.
 * George Carlin: Put in James.
 * James: Good riddance. That’s what I say.
 * Henry: The twins were splendid in the snow.
 * George Carlin: Added Henry.
 * Henry: It isn’t fair.
 * George Carlin: They all agreed that Something Must Be Done, but none knew what. Percy decided to talk to Edward about it.
 * Edward: What you need.
 * George Carlin: Said Edward.
 * Edward: Is a Deputation.
 * George Carlin: He explained what that was. Percy ran back quickly.
 * Percy: Edward says we need a… a Depotstation.
 * Gordon: Of course.
 * George Carlin: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: The question is…
 * Henry: …what is a desperation?
 * George Carlin: Asked Henry.
 * Percy: It’s when engines tell Sir Topham Hatt something’s wrong.
 * George Carlin: Said Percy.
 * Duck: Did you say tell Sir Topham Hatt?
 * George Carlin: Asked Duck thoughtfully. There was a long silence.
 * Gordon: I propose.
 * George Carlin: Said Gordon.
 * Gordon: That Percy be our – er – hum – disputation.
 * Percy: ME!
 * George Carlin: Squeaked Percy.
 * Percy: I can’t.
 * Henry: Rubbish Percy.
 * George Carlin: Said Henry.
 * Henry: It’s easy.
 * Gordon: That’s settled them.
 * George Carlin: Said Gordon. Poor Percy wished it wasn’t!
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Hullo Percy! It’s nice to be back.
 * George Carlin: Percy jumped.
 * Percy: Er y-yes-yes Sir, please Sir.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: You look nervous, Percy. What’s the matter?
 * Percy: Please Sir, they’ve made me a Desperation Sir. To Speak to You Sir. I don’t like it Sir.
 * George Carlin: Sir Topham Hatt pondered.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Do you mean a Deputation, Percy?
 * Percy: Yes Sir, please Sir. It’s Donald and Douglas. They say, Sir, that if you send them away, Sir, well they’ll be turned into Scrap, Sir. That would be dreadful, Sir. Please Sir, don’t send them away.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Thank you, Percy. That will do.
 * George Carlin: Later Sir Topham Hatt spoke to the engines.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I had – er – a deputation. I understand your feelings and I've given a lot of thought to the matter
 * George Carlin: He paused impressively.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Donald and Douglas, I hear that your work in the snow was good. You shall have a new coat of paint.
 * George Carlin: The twins were surprised.
 * Donald and Douglas: Thankye Sirr.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: But your names will be painted on you. We’ll have no more “mistakes”.
 * Donald and Douglas: Thankye Sirr. Dis this mean that the baith o’ uz…?
 * George Carlin: Sir Topham Hatt smiled.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: It means…
 * George Carlin: But the rest of his speech was drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles. The twins were here to stay.