Rocket Men

[Somewhere in the far reaches of the galaxy, a crystal is in the claws of a fish alien.]

Captain: "That peace crystal belong to the people of Galganon, I'll give you one last chance to return it."

Fish Alien: "Never."

Captain: "Fine, then we'll take it back ourselves. Petra! Fire the photon ray."

TV Announcer: "The exciting conclusion of Starship Groupers will be coming up, right after these messages."

Lincoln: [Who's watching the show with Clyde.] "Dang it, commercial break."

Commercial Announcer: "He-hey, kids," [the TV shows a boy with a jet pack.] "ever wanted to live and train like a real astronaut?" [The boys gasp with intrigue, as some kids on the TV do a moon jump.] "Then we've got the camp for you." [A boy is driving a moon rover.] "The Space Cadets Experience is a week long sleep away camp;" [Some girls collecting moon rocks.] "where you'll learn everything about being an astronaut." [Some kids watching a shooting star.] "Ask your parents now if you can join the adventure."

Lincoln: [Him and Clyde in awe.] "Wow, that looks so fun. Clyde, we have to go to this camp."

Clyde: "Absolutely, I'm gonna go home right now and ask my dads." [Races off, but returns, with tissues.] "Well, after we finish the movie, I always cry when they restore the peace crystal to Galganon."

[Later, Lincoln is wearing his blue suit, and giving a presentation to his parents in the living room.]

Lincoln: "...And that's why I really wanna go to the Space Cadets Experience."

[Rita and Lynn Sr. look at each other.]

Rita: "Uh, sounds great sweetie, but also kind of expensive."

Lincoln: "But Mom, when you do the math, it's actually a great value, think about how much money you'll save on food while I'm gone."

''[This intrigues Rita and Lynn. Meanwhile, at the McBride's residence, Clyde is giving his own presentation.]''

Clyde: "So I really think this camp will be a good opportunity for me."

Howard: "We're glad you're interested in trying new things honey, and, you look so dashing in that suit."

Harold: "But it's a whole week away from home, are you sure you're ready?"

Clyde: "Yes, Dr. Lopez and I have been working on stepping outside my comfort zone."

Harold: "Okay son, if you're sure you can handle it..."

[Split screen with Lynn Sr.]

Lynn Sr.: "Well Lincoln, if you really wanna go..."

Lynn Sr. & Harold: "The answer is yes."

[The boys are excited, do a salute, and walkie talkie each other.]

Clyde: "Cadet Lincoln, all systems are a go."

Lincoln: "Same here, Cadet Clyde, we have lift off."

[At the Space Cadets Experience entrance, Lincoln and Clyde are waiting to be let in.]

Automated Voice: "Front gate, commencing, opening sequence."

[The boys watch with amazement as the gate opens.]

Lincoln: [Seeing the camp] "Woah."

Clyde: "Ooh."

''[The camp looks like so much fun. The boys come in and squeal with excitement.]''

Tarreyn: [Approaches Lincoln and Clyde.] "Welcome, space cadets! My name's Tarreyn, and I'll be your camp counsellor. Ready for your first activity?" [The boys nod] "You'll be hunting for moon rocks in real space suits." [Cartwheels off]

Lincoln: [Gasps] "Moon rocks!"

Clyde: "Space suits!"

''[They squeal again as they head off. The boys zip up their suits, and begin jumping around in a room made to look like the moon, when Clyde bumps into a star.]''

Clyde: "Phew, this is a lot more tiring than it looks on TV." ''[Takes out his inhaler and tries to use it, but he's wearing a space helmet and the inhaler flies out of his hands. Clyde gasps.]'' "My inhaler!"

Lincoln: "I got it."

[Lincoln tries to grab it, but misses, and bumps into Clyde, and they land in some craters.]

[Later, the boys are in the multi-axis trainer.]

Clyde: "Alright, human gyroscopes."

Lincoln: [To the operator of the machine.] "Eh, just so you know, we're like pro thrill seekers, so don't be afraid to turn it up to eleven." ''[The guy shrugs, does so, and starts texting. Lincoln and Clyde are spun on all three axis of rotation.]'' "This is a little more intense than I thought it'd be!"

Clyde: [Getting the snot spun out of his nose.] "Same here!" [To the operator.] "Could you please take it down to a nine?!"

[The guy presses a button, but accidentally makes it go so fast, a skull and crossbones are seen in the whirlwind.]

Male Counsellor: [Realizing his mistake and turns it off.] "Whoops, wrong button, sorry dudes."

[The cadets fall out of the gyroscopes face first and are now dazed, and nauseous.]

Clyde: "Where's the little astronauts room? [Lincoln runs off] We'd like to freshen up."

[In the restroom, Clyde splashes some water into his face and turns off the sink.]

Lincoln: [Inside the stall] "Woah, Clyde, you gotta see this," [Opens the stall] "check it out."

[A futuristic looking toilet is shown, shining in all its glory]

Clyde: [Amazed] "Wow, a real life space toilet."

Lincoln: "I wonder how you flush it?"

Clyde: "Oh, I think it's this handle." [Clyde uses the handle, and almost gets sucked into the toilet.] "Ah! Help, the space toilet's got me!"

Lincoln: [Helps Clyde] "I got you!"

[Lincoln manages to pull Clyde out of the toilet and the boys tumble out of the stall.]

Clyde: [Looks at his right foot] "It ate my loafer."

[Later, in the cafeteria...]

Clyde: "How excited are you for our first space dinner?"

[The server puts gelatinous green stuff on Lincoln's tray, Lincoln is disgusted.]

Lincoln: "Maybe a little less excited now." [The boys go to a table.] "Well, there's no way it can taste as bad as it looks." [The boys try it, and spit it out.] "Wow, [Clyde shivers] I was so, so wrong."

Clyde: [Sighs] "This is honestly one of the most disappointing moments in my life." [Just then, the girls sitting next to them start talking.]

Girl #1: "I'm having a blast. Can you believe in less than twenty-four hours, it'll be our turn in the flight simulator?"

Lincoln: "Flight simulator? That sounds cool."

Girl #2: "It's the most intense activity at camp."

Girl #1: "Yeah, some kids went on it today, and three of them passed out. So hardcore, I can't wait."

[The girls squeal with excitement, and the boys gulp with fear.]

[That night, the boys are in sleeping bags.]

Lincoln:"Okay, there's no denying it, camp is horrible, we can't stay here."

Clyde: "And we definitely can't face the flight simulator."

Lincoln: "We have to ask our parents to come and get us." [Clyde nods, they open their sleeping bags, and fall up to the ground, the sleeping bags are revealed to be hanging upside down.] "Man, I hate these space sleeping bags."

''[One kid hushes them. The boys step outside and call their parents.]''

Clyde: "Hey Dads, I'm just calling to..."

Lincoln: "Hey Mom and Dad, I have something I need to tell you."

Lincoln & Clyde: "Camp is awful, I wanna come home."

Rita: "Awe, I'm surprised to hear that, you sounded so excited about it."

Harold: "But it sounded like something you would love."

[Their husbands join the conversations.]

Lincoln: "It's just not anything like I thought it would be."

Clyde: "Turns out, it's not fun at all."

Lynn Sr.: "I'm sorry to hear that, buddy."

Howard: "It's a real shame."

Rita: "But your dad and I think you need to give camp more of a chance."

Harold: "You should spend more time there before giving up on it."

Lynn Sr.: "I'll bet if you stick it out, you might even find you like it."

Lincoln: "I'll give it more time, night Mom and Dad."

Clyde: "Bye Dads." [They all hang up, and the boys sigh.] "Well, I'm stuck here.

Lincoln: "Me too, our parents don't get how bad camp is, and it's only going to get worse."

Clyde: "I can't do that flight simulator, Lincoln, I won't survive it."

Lincoln: [Determined] "Well, there's only one thing to do; we have to escape, we can take a bus to Liam's and hide out in his barn for the rest of the week."

Clyde: "That plan's completely nuts, and I'm totally in."

[They fist bump.]

[Later, they are wearing camouflage, and sneaking around.]

Lincoln: "The front gate's the only break in the fence; that's our way out. How'd you know to bring camouflage?"

Clyde: "I pack for every occasion, and yet I forgot my backup loafers."

[They get to the front gate.]

Lincoln: [Looking at the control panel.] "Uh..." [Presses a button, and nothing happens.] "Hmm, maybe it's a different button." [Lincoln tries another button, which sets of a green light and an alarm.] "Whoops! Not that one." [Tries another one.]

Clyde: "Not that one either! Turn it off! Turn it off!"

[Just then, Tarreyn comes up and turns it off.]

Tarreyn: "Cadet Clyde, Cadet Lincoln, what's going on?"

Lincoln: "Uh, we're looking for our cabin, got lost on the way back from the, uh, little astronauts room."

Tarreyn: "Wow, you guys got really turned around, come on, I'll show you."

''[They all walk off. On the way, Lincoln notices something.]''

Lincoln: "Hey Tarreyn, what's that?" [Points to a vehicle.]

Tarreyn: "That's the moon rover, you guys will get to take it for a spin on day three."

Lincoln: [Whispers to Clyde] "We could use that to crash through the front gate."

[They get to the cabins.]

Tarreyn: "Here's your cabin," [gives them a paper] "and a map so you don't get lost next time."

Lincoln: "Thank you." [Tarreyn front handsprings away, and Lincoln crumples the map.] "There won't be a next time, cause we're gettin' out of here." [Fist bumps Clyde, and tosses the map towards the trash, but misses.] "Dang it." [Picks it up and puts it in the trash.]

[Later, the boys sneak up to the rover, and hop in.]

Lincoln: "We'll be gone before anyone realizes we're missing, buckle up, Clyde."

[Lincoln floors it, but the rover only goes so fast, yet kinda slow at the same time.]

Clyde: "Floor it, Lincoln."

Lincoln: "It's already floored."

[Clyde groans, and Tarreyn walks up to them.]

Tarreyn: "Uh, what are you guys doing?"

Clyde: "We... were just so excited to drive the moon rover, we couldn't wait."

Tarreyn: [Stops the rover with one foot, not mad at all.] "I get that, but, it's the middle of the night, come on, back to your cabin."

Clyde: "Can you, uh, point us in the right direction? We don't have the map."

[Back at the cabin, the boys are looking at the map more thoroughly.]

Lincoln: "Okay, back to square one." [Sees a building on the map.] "Hey, check out this recycling building at the edge of camp."

Clyde: "Wow, their commitment to recycling is very impressive." [Brief silence] "Oh, I see, the back door lets out into the forest."

Lincoln: [Grabs his bag] "Let's go."

[The boys get to the building.]

Lincoln: "This is the place." [Works on the panel, while Clyde covers his ears; the door opens.] "We're almost free."

[The boys enter the building, it's very dark inside, Lincoln trips over his own feet.]

Clyde: "Hang on, I think I found the light switch.

[The lights come on.]

Lincoln: "Whoa, even the recycling building is space themed."

[Suddenly, the room turns on.]

Automated Voice: "Welcome, to the flight simulator."

Lincoln: "Whaaat?"

Clyde: "We really need to work on our map reading skills."

Lincoln: "Let's get out of here before it starts."

[The boys try to escape, but the door won't open.]

Automated Voice: "Door lock, engaged. Preparing for take off, please take your seats [Seeing no other option, the boys hurry into their seats and buckle up. The male counsellor, who's not even paying attention, turns the simulator on.] Commencing countdown:" [The simulator rises up.] "three, two, one, blast off."

Lincoln & Clyde: "Woah!"

[They are thrown back into their seats by the G-force.]

Automated Voice: "Your task is to safely navigate through the asteroid field. Or your ship will be destroyed."

[The boys freak out when the see the asteroids, and grab the steering wheels.]

Lincoln: "Right! Left! Right! Oh no, sharp left, sharp left!"

[They almost avoid the asteroid, but it hits them.]

Automated Voice: "Direct Impact! Severe damage to core. Life support system will shut down, unless it's repaired."

Clyde: "How are we supposed to do that?"

Automated Voice: "Put on your spacesuits and exit the ship. Locate the blinking panel. Disable it before time expires to complete the mission."

Lincoln: "Okay Clyde, we can do this."

Automated Voice: "Sixty seconds remaining. Fifty-nine, fifty-eight, fifty-seven, fifty-six..."

''[The boys disengage their seat belts, and get their suits. They look out the shuttle.]''

Lincoln: "There it is, the control panel."

[The boys go to it.]

Automated voice: "...twenty, nineteen, eighteen..."

[Clyde starts spinning out of control.]

Lincoln: "Cadet Clyde, initiate code leapfrog!"

Clyde: "Roger that."

[Lincoln leaps off Clyde to gain speed, and pulls Clyde's cord to bring him along.]

Automated Voice: "...three, two, one." [The boys flip the switches, and celebrate their victory.] "Mission accomplished, deactivating zero gravity."

[The boys realize, and fall, they are now dangling by their cords.]

Lincoln: "Uh, can somebody help us get down now? Please?"

Male Counsellor: "Huh?" [Sees them on the monitor] "Oh, be right there." [Goes off] [Later, the boys exit the simulator, full of pride.]

Clyde: "The part where you leapt off the side of the ship, that was crazy!"

Lincoln: "I can't wait for tomorrow when they let us try out the jet packs."

Tarreyn: [Walks up to them] "Hey, Cadets Lincoln and Clyde, [Grows sad] your parents just called to say they're coming to get you, they should be here soon. [Starts sobbing] I... I'm so sorry camp wasn't right for you."

''[Tarreyn tears up, and leaves. The boys are sad now too, and take off their helmets.]''

Lincoln: "Awe man, I was actually starting to like it here."

Clyde: "Me too, but I guess we have to leave."

[They sigh, and walk off.]

[Early morning, outside the entrance to the camp, the boys despondently wait.]

Howard: [As he and Harold run up and hug Clyde.] "Oh, my baby! Are you okay?! We're so sorry for leaving you here!"

Rita: [As she and Lynn Sr. calmly walk up to them.] "Hi boys."

Lincoln: "Hi Mom, hi Dad."

Rita: "We had a parent huddle and realized we never should have made you stay."

Lincoln: "Actually, you guys were right, after a little more time we realized we like camp, we shouldn't have given up so quickly."

Clyde: "Yeah, and to be honest, now we're sad to leave."

[They take their bags.]

Lincoln: "But we asked you to come, and you drove a long way to get us, so..."

Rita: "Sweetie, don't worry about us, if you wanna stay you can stay."

Lincoln: "Really? Are you sure?"

Howard: "Yes, we're proud of you, it seems like you both learned an important lesson about sticking things out."

Lynn Sr.: "Plus, we passed a twenty-four hour pancake house, that I would not mind trying on the way back."

Harold: "That sounds mighty delish."

[The parents hug their sons and take off.]

Howard: "Have a great rest of your week cadets, we'll see you Saturday."

Clyde: [In unison] "Bye Dads!

Lincoln: [In unison] "Bye guys!"

[The boys celebrate getting to stay, then Clyde realizes something.]

Clyde: "Dads, wait!" [Runs after them] "Do you have any backup loafers?"