My Bitter Sweet 16 It Up

This place is awesome. Told you having your party two weeks late and having mine two weeks early was perfect. And combining parties saved us Oh, that was my score on my last math test! Uh, excuse me? [Chuckling] Nothing. Wow. This place is totally perfect. I totally agree, as soon as we totally change all of it. And here we go. Okay, so I'm thinking white satin fabric covering the walls, lit from below projecting our initials in 10-foot letters. Well, that actually sounds amaze-balls! That sounds expense-balls. Marcie? Our budget for decorations gives us enough for blow them up ourselves. - [Sighs] - Okay, no wall treatments. I can live with that. The important thing is, is that we have the hand-rolled Sushi station. You can have Sushi. If it's just the four of us at this party. You heard her. But, mom! We promised people an extravaganza! No, honey. You promised people an extravaganza. Marcie and I promised we'd make you girls a nice party. Fine. I'm going to make this day as special for you as possible. In fact, I'm taking you to my salon and giving you party hair! People are going to be saying, "where's the party at?" - And you'll just point to your hair. - Aw! - You're the best mom ever! - Aw. You're the worst mom ever! What do you mean we can't have a DJ? I'm sorry, it's not in our budget. Let me introduce you to the only DJ you need DJ Phoney-Phone. They just hook it up to their speakers. Are you MC kidding me? We absolutely need a DJ. I'd even forget The laser show, fog machine, photo booth. And the bodybuilders who were going to carry us in Cleopatra-style. And I'm going to forget you even brought those things up. Okay, fine, mom, but we just need one little DJ. [Sighs] Please, mom. Please! Please! Please? Okay, fine. You can have a DJ. Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You're the best mom ever! [Chuckles] Sweet! We got a DJ. Hey! Where the party at? Huh? Not yet, honey. Not yet. Everybody, everybody, get out on the floor. It can get a little crazy when the kick hits the 4. Make a scene, make a scene, nobody can ignore. Don't knock it. 'Til you rock it. We can't take it no more. Bring the lights up, bust the doors down. All together now. Shake It Up, Shake It Up. Shake It Up. [Music] And why do they get a huge party with some special invitations and a fancy DJ? When I turned 16, all I got was a savings bond and the news that I wasn't getting a car. Dude, stop whining. You sound like a baby with a loaded diaper. It's just a party. No, it's an "extravaganza". Well, you're turning it into an "extrav-I-can't-stand-ya". Okay. So for CeCe's sweet 16 what are you gonna get her? Well, it's a very special day, so I thought I'd give her a kiss. Of the "bup" variety. Bupkes. It's yiddish. Means "nothing of value, significance or substance". Okay, here's how this is going to play out. I'm gonna give you fifty bucks, and you're gonna get CeCe a gift she loves. Hmm. Seems like that might require more than my usual bare minimum effort. It will. But if she loves, loves, loves it, you will get a special gift in return that I guarantee Will make you very, very happy. When you say "special," I assume you are referring to that week at the go-kart camp I've been begging for? Shh. Don't say another word about it. Wow, I'm so excited I could plotz! Okay, no more hanging out at the senior center playing mah-jongg. You're going to a park like a normal kid. Hey, hey, hey. Uh, Rocky? You may not have noticed, but a beaver with a bad perm is taking a nap on your head. Or at least, that's what I hope it's taking. My mom was trying some practice hairdos on me for the party. This is version four. I would've shown you version three, but I couldn't fit it through the window. Look, I know it's a bit much, but it means a lot to her, and I just want to Please everybody? Excuse me? Are you implying that I'm a people pleaser? Oh, no, I'm not implying it. Your hair is screaming it! Okay, look, this is how it works with me and my mom. She tells me what she wants and I do it. I know that's a novel concept for you. What is that supposed to mean? Like at the party place, you and your mom argued the entire time. You practically ran around screaming, "I want it, I want it, I want it". And what happened? Oh, that's right. You didn't get it, you didn't get it, you didn't get it. Well, I got us the DJ! And fortunately for you and that Sasquatch on your head! We did not get that photo booth. Whoa, cool hat. It's my hair! Well, in that case, whoa, ridiculous hair! Ah. CeCe, help me with my homework? Sure. Okay. So, it's a word association assignment. So, I'll say a word, and you say the first thing that pops into your head. Okay. Tomato. Po-tah-to. - Gift? - Diamonds. [Slowly] Gift? [Slowly] Diamonds. $50? Down payment. On diamonds. Well, I've decided on my gift for Rocky and CeCe's sweet 16. It's a ritualistic, coming-of-age, old country tradition. Needless to say, it will blow them away! [Chuckling] Wait, wait. Not, not literally, right? [Chuckles] Not telling. [Stammering] You know what? This whole party has gotten ridiculous. You know what I got for my 16th birthday? The flu! I thought you got the news you weren't getting a car? I'm making a point! You know, it's my time to shine. I'm going to throw myself a sweet 18! Except now when I hear it out loud, I'm not gonna to call it a sweet 18. I'm going to call it a "Manly Awesome Better Than A Sweet 16, 18 Party". Really? That's what you want to change it to after hearing the other one out loud? It's a work in progress! So I'm looking at the "Princess stretch limousine package". Yeah, love that it has Wi-Fi, um, but do you, by any chance, have a stretchier stretch limousine? I don't want to get my party dress all wrinkled, so I'm planning on laying across the backseat. You know what? I'm just being ridiculous. I'm only turning 16 once. So let's go with the ultimate party bus. Yeah, the one with the light-up, non-slip dance floor that's gonna Excuse me? I was wondering if I could pay for this with a check. A reality check! [Beep] Well, that was a little unnecessary. Oh! So you do understand the meaning of the word "unnecessary"? Do you also understand the words "you lost it"? Are you about to give me a lecture? CeCe, at this point, I can't afford to give you anything else. Come on, mom. It's just one itty-bitty double-decker fifty-person party bus. Please. Not going to work this time, CeCe! You're being completely unfair, mother! - I mean, sometimes you just - CeCe, stop talking back! I've had it with you. I've gone out of my way to make you the nicest party I possibly can, but you don't appreciate anything. You're acting like a selfish, spoiled, self-centered teenager. When I was a teenager, I would never talk to my mother that way. Yeah, I'm sure you were perfect. What did I say about talking back? If those invitations weren't already mailed, I would cancel this party. Actually, a Butler hand-delivered them. I mean, snail mail is fine for regular parties, but not for a CeCe Jones extravaganza. That's it. You're grounded! - Wha - And I mean, grounded, okay? You can go to your sweet 16, but that'll be the last place you'll be going while you're 16. You're grounding me for a year? For what, having style? Because in that case, then ground me for life. That's it. One more word out of you and I am adding a month. Ugh! Not technically a word, but I'm adding a month anyway, because I am the mother! Yeah, mother of all party poopers. - [Shouting] Two months! - Ugh! [Music] Whoa! Why are you wearing a satellite dish around your neck? It's an early sweet 16 gift from my mom. Hey, if I hold my head the right way, I can actually hear the baby monitor from apartment 4G. - Really? - [Chuckles] Yeah, no! It has sentimental value. My mom's mom gave it to her when she turned 16. - Is it that bad? - Well, here's one thing I like about it. It totally distracts from that crazy hairdo. I know! It's terrible! I just don't want to hurt her feelings. I don't know what to tell her. Well, I'd start with, "hey, thanks for the hubcap on a chain, but I'll pass". Although choose your words more carefully, or else you might get grounded, too. Wait, is reorganizing family photos part of your punishment? No. I'm just looking for some pictures of us so we can blow them up and decorate the party room. Hello, Rocky. Yeah and I'm the one with the bad attitude. Well, did you at least apologize? For what? Wanting a nice party? If anything, she should apologize to me. You should've heard the way she talked to me. CeCe, I live one flight up. I did hear the way she talked to you. In fact, I think people in Ohio heard the way she talked to you. Well, apparently, I should just be more like my mom when she was my age. Loving, respectful, perfect and appreciative. - [Scoffing] Wouldn't kill you. - Excuse me? Yeah, I said your mom is mean. Hey, look at that. Mean and totally retro. She looks like she should be in one of those 1980s Molly Ringwald movies! Oh, yeah, she'd be the goody two-shoes who says, "don't go to the party, Molly. You might have fun and meet a cute guy". Or she might be the girl having the party. "Georgia's sweet 16"? Oh, this, I've got to see! Ah! Woman: Hold it up for the camera, Georgia. I want to document everything. Okay, so, this is, like, my totally awesome sweet 16 invitation. It's going to be, like, the most totally awesome party ever! Thank you! I love you, mommy! See? "I'm just the sweet, perfect little Georgia peach". Woman: Come on out, Georgia. I want to see how beautiful you look in your sweet 16 dress! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Woman: You're being ridiculous. It's beautiful. Now, come on. You look lovely. Yeah, like I'm so sure. Okay, I don't wanna look lovely, I wanna look like Madonna! This dress is totally not rad and if you make me wear it, I'm not even going to show up at my sweet 16! Hey, wait a minute. I think that sweet little Georgia peach might be a little rotten! Woman: Careful, Georgia, or your face will freeze like that. Hmm! So funny, I forgot to laugh! I mean, this party is nothing like I wanted it to be, mother. I still don't understand why you refused to get New Kids on the Block to perform. Woman but I did get you a DJ. Uncle Ernie? [Scoffs] Gross me out the door, mother. You're ruining my party! Ugh! Wow. I don't even know what to say. I do. Rewind! Oh, come on! I'm running out of time. What am I going to get for CeCe that she's going to love, love, love? It's a tough one. Glad I got my gift out of the way early. Sure, I had to dress up like a Butler and deliver invitations all over Chicago But it didn't cost me anything. Except your dignity. Please. Lost that years ago. Guys, help me. I really want to go to go-kart camp! I mean, make CeCe happy! Come on, why are you making this so hard? Stop and think. What is the one thing that CeCe likes more than anything in the world? Ah, herself! I've got some shopping to do. I cannot believe my mother. She made herself out to be this perfect little angel. Well, little angel, someone's halo is about to get knocked off. And that's my cue to leave. Are you sure you don't want to stick around and hear this? Oh, I think I will. CeCe: Mom! Yes, Cecelia, do you have something you want to say to me? Oh, I have plenty to say. [Giggling] Oh, this is going to be totally gnarly. You're going to, like, totally bust her, aren't you? - To the max! - Exactly what I would do! - It is? - For sure! You saw the way I talked to my mom at my sweet 16. Yeah, but I'm not you. [Scoffs] That's bogus. You and I are totally the same. Okay, now I'm definitely re-thinking this. What are you talking about? She needs to be taken down a few notches. After all that attitude she threw at you, she deserves it. Give it to her good! But she was just being a mom. And that's what moms do. Yeah, I'm so sure. Didn't you see the video? Uh, she was a total nightmare. Uh, I was a total nightmare. Yeah, but you were 16. And 16-year-olds do that. They can be selfish and self-centered. And then they grow up and they become responsible, and sometimes they become Amazing mothers that have to put up with their own horrible, obnoxious daughters. I owe her an apology, to the max. [Scoffs] Gag me with a spoon. Yes, CeCe. Do you have something to say to me or not? [Sighing] Yeah, mom, I do. Look, I've been a total brat. And everything you said was true. I feel horrible. I am really, really, really lucky to have you as a mom. That is so sweet. You know you're still grounded, right? Yeah. And I don't care. I love you, mom. You are totally gnarly! [Chuckles] [Music playing] All right, extravaganza people, listen up. It's now my honor to introduce our special guests of honor. Although, now that I think about it They are kind of special. Because these two are my little sister and her best friend. Who's like another sister to me. [Sniffles] [Choking] And they're growing up so fast. And they deserve this extravaganza! So give it up for Rocky and CeCe! [Crowd cheering] Come on, Rocky. What's wrong? Rocky: The way I look. My hair, the necklace Well, it's too late to change at this point. Let's go! We wanna thank everyone for coming but before we go any further, we also want to thank our moms. You two are amazing and we love you. And we appreciate everything you two do for us. But tonight, we're here for one reason and one reason only. - To par-tay! - To par-tay! [Music resumes playing] Rocky, honey, what happened to your hair? And where is your new necklace? Okay, look, I just I Actually, what I Okay, can I just be honest? - The hair just wasn't me. - But you said you liked it. I know and it's not that I didn't like the necklace, it's just that Well, it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. [Laughing] That makes two of us. Why do you think I couldn't wait to unload it on you? Wait, you're not upset with me? Of course not, honey. I'm your mother. You should feel free to be totally honest with me at all times. Well, then, in that case, I hate your fakin' bacon casserole. Beep, beep, beep. You better back that truck up because you just went too far. Attention, attention! It is now time for me to share a very special sweet 16 tradition from the old country. Okay, boys, bring it in. These are the most special and sacred flowers from my country. They represent everything the two of you are to me. Rare. Beautiful. And, in large doses, can make you violently ill. - Aw! - Aw! Okay, yeah, enough hugging. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time to dance! Ho! Ho! Looking for a bit of trouble. I wanna have a little fun tonight. Watch me while I speed it up. Counting down get it, get it, turn it up. Gonna work it just like that. Follow me until the game's over. Move closer, bring it back. Marching like a comeback soldier. I can't help myself. I should be a drummer girl. Move it like this. Loving how you put it down with me. Move to the beat of my drum. Got it like, eh! Boom, da da, ah. Eh! Boom da da. Got it like, eh! Boom, da da, ah. Move, move to the beat of my drum. So if you wanna break it down. So if you wanna break it down. Try to keep up with the rhythm now. Try to keep up with the rhythm now. Eh! Eh! Hey! Hey! Got it, got it, got it, like eh! Hey! Got it, go, got, got, go-go-go-go-got it. I can't help myself. I should be a drummer girl. Move it like this. Loving how you put it down with me. Move to the beat of my drum. Got it like, eh! I can't help myself. I should be a drummer girl. Move it like this. Loving how you put it down with me. Move to the beat of my drum. Got it like, eh! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Beat of my drum, ha! I'm having so much fun. [Giggles] I feel like I'm 16 again. Actually, I like you better now. [Bell dinging] Excuse me? Well, it wouldn't kill you to be nicer to your mom. You're right, CeCe. I'll love and cherish her from now on. Really? Sure, I'm a figment of your imagination. I'll do whatever you want. Oh. Well, in that case, hit the bricks. I want to dance with my real mom again. [Bell dinging] Hey! I can't help myself. I should be a drummer girl. Move it like this. - I love you, mom. You're the best. - I love you, mom. You're the best. Move to the beat of my drum. Got it like, eh! I can't help myself I should be a drummer girl. Move it like this. [Music] Okay CeCe, here's your sweet 16 present. I hope you love, love, love it! [Gasps] It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! So, in other words you - Love it! - All I wanted to hear. Thank you so much Flynn. Mwah! Well, I guess there's just one more gift left to give. I believe there's a go-kart camp in my future. Yeah, you're not going to go-kart camp. Wait! But you said that if I got CeCe a gift that she loved, you'd send me to camp. You said that! I said you'd get a special gift, and you did. The gift of your sisters love and appreciation. Well played Mrs. Jones. Well played. But don't be surprised when your mothers day gift is made of macaroni and finger paint.