Javier and the Gang

Previously on "Wrecked"...

Steve: People of the island!

Florence has been caught stealing supplies.

Well, well, well.

Todd, Steve's gone insane.

I know.

We have to get out of here.

Karen: They're getting away! What do we do now, Steve?

[Groans] Holy sh1t!

Oh, my God!

Son of a bitch shot me!

You need to connect with these people.

Danny, get away from me.

I'm not gonna leave you. You're my friend.

I am not your friend! We are just stuck here together!

Okay.

Stupid Danny, stupid Steve, stupid Diane from Toledo.

I'll bet she's never even been to Toledo.

I've been to Toledo.

[Leaves rustle, twig snaps]

Danny?

Ah!

Hello?!

Who's there?!

Show yourself!

Danny, is that you?

[Twig snaps]

Steve!

The devil?

[Twig snaps]

Aah! Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

[Crying] Oh, God! Oh, just kill me. Just kill me.

I won't even fight back. I promise.

I'll just lay down.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Aah!

Rosa?

Oh, my God!

Hi!

[Both panting]

[Groans] All right, hold up.

All right, hold up!

Can we just [Groans] take a mo-moment to catch our breath?

We can't catch our breath! He's...

He's trying to kill us!

Florence!

The island's gone, all right? We made it!

Some of us are rowing with a friggin' gunshot wound.

Let me look at it.

No, no, no. You're sick. That's okay.

It's fine. I'm okay.

No, no, no. You're, like, sick.

You look insane. No, don't touch me!

Aah! Ow!

Oh, my God.

It's just a graze.

"It's just a graze?"

It's a deep graze, foot doctor.

We aren't gonna make it, okay?

We barely have any food.

We have no sail. [Breathing heavily]

We're gonna die out here.

Hey, hey. Look at me.

You built this, and we're currently not dying on it.

You saved my life.

Thank you.

I love you.

♪ ♪

Jess boned Chet?

Todd: Really?

Come on, buddy.

Is he hotter than me?

Yes!

1 million percent.

♪ ♪

[Laughing] Wow.

I thought you were dead.

I thought you were dead. [Chuckles]

I mean, even if you survived the crash, I figured you'd die almost immediately.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Wow. We thought we were all alone.

We?

Oh, yeah, no, there's a whole camp of us back there.

Wait a minute. Are there more of you?

[Laughs]

Yeah.

There's like... Like on the other side...

The whole th... Yeah. You look so healthy!

R-Really?

Yes.

I mean, 'cause there's literally no way for me to see my reflection back at camp, you know, so sometimes I feel like a... Like a crazy person.

[Laughs]

No, no, no, no. You look...

Do you have food?

We do, we do. We have tons of it.

Do you have water?

Yeah, river runs right next to camp.

Shut up.

But, you know, when I say "camp,"

I don't want you to get the wrong idea, okay?

It's very comfortable, it is, but back there, the focus is getting off the island.

That's what I've been saying. That's my whole thing.

[Laughs]

Let's get you back there, big guy.

Oh! This is fantastic.

sh1t. Emma?

♪ ♪

Todd, wake up! Emma!

What? What's up?

What's wrong?

Emma's gone!

Emma! Emma!

Where's the food? Where the hell's the food?

Food! Food!

Emma!

Oh, God.

Oh, there's the bag!

Oh, my God. There she is!

What the sh1t?

Emma! Are you okay?

What?

What?

What?

W-We're coming to get you!

You're coming to get me, right?

Okay, we... we need to paddle towards her.

With what? The oars are gone!

sh1t!

sh1t!

Um, I'm going for her. You go for the food.

Wait. Wait, wait. Take the rope!

God, you weigh so much more than me.

It's making this really hard.

All right, then go first!

Okay!!

Go first!

I will!!

Emma, I'm coming!

Food, I'm coming!

♪ ♪

[Panting]

Oh, my God. The rope is too short!

Emma!

Florence!

The rope's too short!

Food! Food! The line's not long enough!

It's okay.

I'll be fine. Go back!

Emma!

Food!

No!

I'm okay!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

Food!

[Breathing heavily]

I'm so sorry.

Stay delicious!

I'll find you!

I'll find you, food.

♪ ♪

Wow. Steve sounds like a real dick.

I know, right?

I swear to God, it's that accent.

He can get away with murder.

He could be like, [As Steve] "Hey, I'm Steve.

How are you? Here's a knife. Go kill yourself. I'm Steve."

Oh, he's cockney?

[Normal voice] I'm trying to do New Zealand.

Ah, yeah, well, back at our camp, we all make decisions together.

No one woman rules everyone.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

And you're okay with that?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? [Scoffs]

Because you're the person who paid to have "Head Flight Attendant" embroidered on your uniform.

I did not pay to have it embroidered.

[Scoffs]

[Chuckles] I did that myself.

If being stranded on this island has taught me one thing, it's that... you can't do it alone.

People need people.

So, anyway, here we are.

[Chuckles] It's right through there.

All right, that's fine.

Guys!

There's someone I want to introduce you to.

Everyone, this is Owen.

Owen, this is everyone.

♪ ♪

Okay, and then we have Lloyd, Charlie, Cooper and Miles, and then we have Britney.

So, Britney, now that we have company, maybe you want to put some clothes on.

[Laughs] I'm kidding!

I'm... You guys, I'm kidding!

She's gonna make a pass at you, so just know that.

Got it.

Okay, so, everyone, I'd like for you to make Owen feel welcome.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Not all at once.

Come on, guys.

One at a time.

Sebastian. Yeah.

I'm gonna let Owen answer that, okay?

So, Owen, you want to... You got the floor.

What?

Okay, well, they want to know why you're the only one here.

I had a...

To them.

...falling out with my camp.

Oh, my God! Okay. Stop it.

Phil, he's not a troublemaker.

Javier, Owen is not here to "steal our women."

And by the way, Britney, Vanessa, and I can take care of ourselves, thank you very much.

Look.

Owen is not here to do us any harm, and even if he were, we'd take care of it, okay?

You know, I don't really want to cause any trouble, so I think I'm just gonna go.

What? Where you gonna go?

Just gonna go back to my camp.

I thought they banished you, though.

They did. They did.

But it was a short banishment, so...

Okay. Well, then, we'll go with you.

[Chuckles] I don't even know how you could...

Why can't we go with you?

You can bring everybody.

You can bring Britney and Javier and the whole gang.

Great.

But you know what? Listen.

Let's just sleep on it, okay?

So you'll... You'll spend the night.

Ew, Carl.

[Chuckles] Inappropriate.

So, you'll spend the night?

I don't see a problem with that.

Great. Slumber party.

[Chuckles] Josh.

♪ ♪

Florence: [Crying] She's gone.

I killed my best friend.

Stop it.

[Voice breaking] Stop that. You're gonna make me cry.

[Cries]

She's never coming...

I never should have made her come out here.

She's dead because of me.

At least you tried to save her.

I left the love of my life on an island with a homicidal maniac!

Yeah, that's true.

That is worse.

Well... it's not worse.

I mean... you killed your best friend by putting her on the shitty raft.

I had no choice because she has Mengshu, but you just left Jess.

Alive. I left her alive.

So, it's different.

Steve's probably gonna kill her, so...

Yeah.

But he won't 'cause, you know, she's so hot and Asian... and little and curvy.

[Sobs]

But Emma is like 100% dead, so...

[Cries]

So, you know, that's... You know, that's way worse.

It's way, way, way worse.

[Sobbing] You're such a dick.

[Dramatic music plays]

Good, right?

D'Angelo caught these.

How?

Uh, fishing.

[Laughs] Okay.

Tell me something.

How did you guys, um... find each other?

Did you crash together?

No, no.

I was in the tail end of the plane.

Only survivor.

And it was just me out there for... wow... about a month.

Yeah. And I found this crew.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

And how'd that happen?

Javier found me.

I'm just, um... I'm so grateful.

Yeah.

And then everybody else just kind of... showed up.

Yeah. Hard to believe, isn't it?

Right.

[Chuckles] Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's because they're not, uh... real.

What are you talking about?

Well, Rosa, these aren't people, right?

I mean, that's a dog crate with a face on it.

That's a can of Pringles.

Mm... I don't get it.

[Chuckles]

Okay, maybe this will help.

Hey, Roger.

That's Julius.

Right. Julius.

Toss me that fish.

See?

Well, I mean, he's eating that, so...

Yeah. Okay, sure. Hey, Britney, throw me something.

No? Nothing? Okay.

Vanessa? Hans?

Marco? Lloyd?

You're scaring them.

Okay, see, but that's the thing, Rosa.

There is no "them."

It's just you and me.

Shut up.

What?

Shut up!

Hey, hey!

Shut up.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

You just shut your goddamn mouth.

Easy, easy.

Get back.

Okay.

Get back!

Okay, okay.

Get...

You get back! You get back!

Owen, I am sorry, but you're talking crazy and I got to protect my people here.

Okay, listen to me. Listen to me.

Why don't we just remember our in-flight emergency training?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, we're gonna breathe in.

Mm-hmm.

And out. [Exhales]

We're gonna breathe in. [Inhales deeply]

And out. [Exhales]

It's just you and me.

And them!

And them. And them. And them.

Listen to me.

You have suffered an extraordinary trauma, all right?

You have been alone for a very long time.

I get it.

[Breathing heavily]

Ahh. Mm.

I am. I am.

I am crazy.

I'm a crazy lady. I'm a crazy...

I am... I'm cra... I'm cra... I'm crazy.

You're not... like, totally crazy.

[Laughs]

I know they're not real.

It's just that it was just me for so many weeks.

Yeah. Oh, and I get it. I totally get it.

It was just like it's been so long since I've seen someone.

Right.

Or talked to someone.

Right.

Or since I've... touched someone.

Mm.

Okay, Rosa, I...

No, I don't want to be alone anymore.

[Thud]

Oh, God.

I am so seasick. Oh, God.

Oh, I feel terrible.

You want to have s*x?

What?

Well, Jess doesn't give a sh1t.

We're probably gonna die out here, so I just figured...

[Sighs] Yeah, okay.

Really? Oh, hell, yeah.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you're gonna like it.

Oh, dude.

[Groans]

Ugh. Yeah, it smells a little, but...

Oh, my God.

You look... I think it's gonna heal.

You look terrible.

[Groans] Oh, hold on.

Jesus Christ.

Just give me...

Here we go.

Okay.

No, hold on. Hold on.

Give me a second. Give me a second.

[Exhales sharply]

All right.

I'm ready.

It's...

Oh, God. Don't let me blow chunks. Come on.

Okay. Just...

Deep breath in.

If you just start touching me, I think you would help me.

[Groans] Okay. Oh, my God!

Look! It's fire!

What?

Oh, my God. That's land!

No. I-I don't see any land.

There's... right there!

Nope.

I don't see it.

Oh, my God.

I guess we should just get back to it.

Get your stupid pineapple shirt on.

Put that away. Let's start paddling.

I'm so hard, though.

Are you?

Not at all.

[Gasps]

Rosa?

Oh, no, no, no.

What was I supposed to do, Javier?

I had to seduce him.

I didn't have a choice, okay, and don't you dare come at me after the sh1t you pulled with Britney last week.

Yeah, I saw you guys. I saw you in the tall grass.

You didn't really hide yourselves too well.

Yes, I'm talking to you, Britney, you [bleep] bitch.

Why don't you put a shirt on for once in your life?

Maybe try that out?

O'Neill, god damn it, you're right.

Ugh! This is not the time for us to be turning on each other.

[Sighs]

It is obvious that Owen has gone completely insane.

Okay? He doesn't think you guys are real.

He's dangerous.

So, I think we all know what we have to do.

Everyone in favor of murdering Owen in his sleep?

Really, Derek? Oh.

Oh, look at this guy, piping up. [Chuckles]

Now's the time you want to get up on your high horse?

Okay.

♪ ♪

[Groans] Ow!

What the hell?

Florence?

Oh, my God. Owen?

What...

Owen, oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

We landed on the same friggin' island?!

Shh! Keep your voices down!

Owen, what's wrong?

[Whispering] There's somebody else here.

What are you talking...

There's somebody else on the island from the crash.

She's trying to kill me.

Why is she trying to kill you?

Rosa: Owen.

Who are your friends?

Well, well, well.

Looks like Javier was right.

So, what was your plan, Owen?

Just wait till nightfall, grab your friends, and then murder us all in our sleep?!

Are there other people here?

You drop the façade, bitch, okay?

Derek, keep sights on her.

How many more of you are there out there?

Listen to me. I had no idea they were here.

Liar!

Liar!!

How many more of you are there?

It's just us!

I mean, we came on a tiny raft!

You have a raft?

Is it my raft? It floats?

Barely.

Oh, my God. Yes, I knew it. I knew it was gonna work.

I love my raft!

Shh! Shut up.

Sorry.

Where is it?

It's back there on the beach.

Interesting.

All right. Camp meeting.

Everyone circle up.

If you have to take a knee, do it.

What is happening?

Wait, why did you guys take the raft?

Is... Is everyone okay?

No, Steve's gone crazy.

It's a hot mess over there.

Dude shot me right next to my six-pack.

I knew it. I knew Steve was bonkers.

I am two for two right now.

And I'm very sorry that you got shot.

[Sighs] Whatever. Listen.

There's a knife over there.

I'm gonna inch towards it, use it to cut my ropes.

Then I'll roundhouse kick her, probably into the fire, watch her burn for a bit, then I'll come save you guys.

Wait, wait, wait. Weren't you with Danny? Where is he?

Oh, he went back to the camp.

He's...

♪ ♪

Oh, my God. Steve.

If he finds him on the beach...

Oh, yeah. He'll kill him, for sure, probably skin him.

♪ ♪

Rosa.

Rosa, you have got to let us go.

We have to get back.

Read a room, Owen!

We're talking here! [Chuckles]

Rosa.

You were right.

People... need people, and I see that now.

I've got to get back. I have got to help my friend.

Please.

Yeah.

No [bleep] way.

I'm gonna kill you, and I'm gonna take your raft.

What?

Why wouldn't I kill them, Javier?

You want us to keep them captive on a raft so they can row?

Fine! Fine. Fine.

I don't need all of them, so who do I kill?

Oh, whoa! Whoa!

Rowing takes a lot of upper-body strength, so anatomy-wise, probably want to get rid of the little girl.

Oh, my God. You little bitch. He's the one who's been shot.

Nah, it's a graze. I didn't even feel it.

It's a deep graze.

No, no, no.

I didn't feel nothing. Ow!

I mean... Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Check these delts out! I got blessed!

Tell me they wouldn't be an asset.

[Crying] Please don't kill me.

Please, don't. I'm a pussy!

I am a pussy. I can't die.

Oh, God.

I have three little kiddies back at home waiting for Daddy.

Oh, my God. Shut up or I'm not gonna make it quick.

What? What was that? What was that "Hmmph?"

Nothing. It's just, you know, I'm just not used to seeing you take orders.

What are you talking about?

Oh, I'm just saying back at Lotus, you know, you were the Head Flight Attendant.

Now it seems like Javier's running the show.

[Scoffs]

We all make the decisions here, so, meh!

Right, no, yeah. Yeah.

I'd just say that here, Javier's the Head Flight Attendant.

Oh, is it ridiculous, Javier?

Is it?

From the backseat, Javier pipes up.

Okay! You've never respected me.

Yeah, man.

You don't respect her!

Eat a bag of dicks, Javier!

[Spits]

That was too much and I know that.

What is wrong with you?

I'm sorry, that was a lot.

I make the decisions.

I... I make 'em.

They all die.

No! Wait a minute! Wait, wait, wait!

And Javier is gonna kill 'em.

No.

Oh, why, Javier?

I'm gonna go check out that raft and see what's up, and when I come back, I want them dead.

♪ ♪

One more thing.

You'd think I'd forget this?

Just leave this here, accessible?

Here. "Oh, yeah. Just leave it here."

[Laughs] I'm not an idiot, okay?

Sebastian.

Use it.

If they try anything, you yell.

All right, Vaness? Okay.

It's just a damn shame 'cause she's so hot.

She's so hot. Can you reach it?

Well, yeah, I guess it's a raft.

I'm shocked it even floats. Whoa.

Listen up.

You try anything and I will stick this right in his... neck.

Higher. It's higher.

Javier, baby, it's gonna be okay. It is gonna be okay.

There's one thing that Owen has forgotten.

You're outnumbered.

Have you looked around?

Get him!

Guys.

Oh. Oh, shoot!

[Gasps]

That was...

Okay. All right. Let's go.

Okay.

Let's get the hell out of here.

[Groans]

Yeah, let's go.

[Groans]

I got to go back for Danny.

What?

What are you talking about?

If Crazy Pants wakes up, she'll kill us, and if she doesn't, Steve will.

Okay, we have what we need now.

We... Don't you want to get off this island?

He might be in trouble, and it's my fault.

And I'm gonna go back, too, for Emma.

Yeah, all right. I'm obviously going.

I'm not gonna be the only douche bag who doesn't go.

Okay.

Let's go save this island.

[As Owen] Yeah. Let's go save it.

[As Owen] Let's go save it up.

Let's go save, like, the whole island.

I didn't say it like that. I didn't say it like that.

Let's go save this island. I'm pretty sure...

That sounds like Keanu Reeves. I don't talk like that.

Save this island.

Let's go save this island.

That doesn't sound anything like... Can we go?