The First Day of School

[D.J. and Kimmy are studying on D.J.'s bed.]

Stephanie: [putting an armful of clothes onto her own bed] This outfit [the one she's currently wearing] is all wrong. Tomorrow's the first day of kindergarten and I have nothing to wear.

D.J.: Your bed is full of clothes.

Stephanie: Yeah, but they're not me. Well, they're me, but they're the preschool me.

Kimmy: I'll sit anywhere you want as long as it's not near Arthur Wilcox.

D.J. & Kimmy: Arthur Wilcox, eww!

Stephanie: Who's Arthur Wilcox?

D.J. & Kimmy: Ewwwww!

D.J.: Steph, please... Kimmy and I are talking about school.

Stephanie: So am I. What if I walk into class wearing a goofy outfit, and everyone says: 'Stephanie Tanner, ewwwww!'?

[Joey and Jesse enter the girls' room with Michelle. D.J. is shocked at Michelle's messy face (pasta sauce).]

D.J.: What happened to Michelle?

Jesse: Well, your sister Michelle tried to eat her dinner by pushing it through her face.

Joey: Yeah, we'd better give her a bath.

Jesse: That's a good idea. Do we know how to do that?

Joey: Sure, it's like giving a puppy a bath, only there's a little less tail to clean.

[Jesse opens the shower curtain to hand Michelle to Joey to be bathed, but sees Joey wearing full swimming gear: cap, goggles, life jacket and trunks.]

Jesse: This is the most terrifying shower scene since Psycho.

[In the older girls' room, after lights out, Stephanie is shining a flashlight in D.J.'s eyes.]

Stephanie: D.J., are you asleep?

D.J.: I can't tell. I think I'm blind.

Stephanie: Will you look at one more outfit? [She shows it off.]

D.J.: [as she turns on her desk light] Steph, I've seen your entire wardrobe twice.

Stephanie: OK. Wanna listen to the pledge? I pledge allegiance to the flag of some states of America.

[This causes D.J. to get out of her bed, and literally carry Stephanie over to her bed and put the covers on her.]

D.J.: I'm gonna tuck you in...very tight.

Stephanie: [as she's tucked in] And to the public, which understands... with God... and liberty... I'm dead meat.

[After checking in on Michelle's bath, Danny comes into the girls' room and turns on the light. D.J. takes the covers off of Stephanie, revealing her in a fancy pink dress.]

Stephanie: I'm ready for school!

Danny: Honey, you're ready for the prom.

Stephanie: [angrily to D.J.] You said this would be good.

D.J.: Hey, if you can't have fun with your little sister, then what's the point of having one?

Danny: 'Chef Boyar-dad' (see Trivia) has made some super-great lunches – for a super-great first day of school.

[Jesse and Joey see D.J. jumping, or at least attempting to jump, the playground's fence. They alert Danny, who stops her dead in her tracks.]

Danny: Freeze. What is this? I don't wanna jump to conclusions, but it appears that what we have is my daughter ditching school, throwing away her future, and basically becoming a juvenile delinquent.

D.J.: In a nutshell, yes.

Danny: Would you mind if I ask you a question before you go knock off a 7-Eleven? Why are you dropping out of school?

D.J.: Because they put me in the smart class.

Danny: The advanced class? D.J., that's wonderful.

D.J.: Dad, it's Geekville, USA. These kids, the first day of school they brought homework. And get this, I'm the only blonde. And worst of all, they split me and Kimmy up.

Danny: Oh. I know you're disappointed, but it's not like you'll never see Kimmy again. She lives next door.

D.J.: Dad, you don't understand. Kimmy and I have always been in the same class. Now I'm in a room full of eggheads. They're worse than eggheads. They're omelet-heads.

Danny: D.J., it's the omelet-heads who rule the world. You really should give this a chance. Do you know why?

D.J.: Why?

Danny: Because if you don't try new things, you're never gonna know what you're missing out on.