The Potato

The First Step to Recovery



 * Mmmm! Fluffy!


 * Hey Idaho, my number one brotato! How's it hangin'?


 * Hmph!


 * What's wrong with him?


 * Isn't it obvious?


 * Umm...nope.


 * Dude. You're eating potato! In front of Idaho! The potato!


 * That's it! If it upsets Idaho, I'm never gonna eat potato again. There are plenty of other foods I like. I'll just eat those. I'll go ask for some fries.


 * Uh, those are potato, too. What did you think French fries were made of?


 * French people?


 * SMH dude... SMH...


 * Mmmm.




 * Huh?


 * Also potatoes.


 * Wedges?


 * 'Tato.


 * Hash browns?


 * 'Tato.


 * Tater tots?


 * 'Tato.


 * Croquette?


 * 'Tato.


 * Patatas bravas?


 * 'Tato.


 * Potato salad?




 * I can't believe I've been so insensitive. At least it was only once.




 * "Each chip is sliced and diced, and lowered gently into the boiling oil..."




 * ,, and : Happy birthday, dear Idaho...




 * "...then boiled AGAIN in the boiling oil..."




 * Do you have the time?


 * Sure thing! A quarter after two.




 * "...before boiling them in boiling oil one final time." Want one?




 * I'm so insensitive!


 * Yeah. Maybe you need to think about how other people feel.


 * Also, I eat way too many potatoes.


 * I'm proud of you, buddy. Openly addmiting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.


 * Okay!  I HAVE A PROBLEM!  Great! All better.


 * Dude, that's not the only step to recovery. And that chair doesn't have a back on it.




 * And maybe the problem's a lot bigger than you think.


 * I do need help.

Quitting Potatoes



 * Okay, dude, we've cleared out your locker and your desk. Is there anywhere else we've missed?


 * Hmm. Is there anywhere else? I don't recall. Could there be any other potatoes? I think we've got them–




 * Thanks for leading me to your secret supply.


 * But you'll never find my secret secr–




 * Dang.


 * Stay strong, bro. I know this isn't easy.


 * This is a very emotional time for me. I keep getting these horrible, devastating mood swings!  But it's fine. Everything is great.  All I need to do is...  RELAX! Like, really, really relax! I'll fight anything that moves!


 * Well, he's coping better than I thought.

Ways to Cope



 * You know, a lot of people find doing something with their hands helps take their mind off cravings. Let's search for... "Things to do with your hands."


 * and : Whoa!


 * Origami! That's a great idea!




 * Feel any better?


 * Not at all.


 * Well, at least it hasn't upset anyone.


 * Hey, guys, have you seen my parents? They were coming in today to see Miss Simian.




 * and : No?


 * Never mind.


 * Clearly, dedication and good intentions aren't working. Time to put our faith in something that looks like science, but isn't.




 * Welcome to Dr. Zanthor's "Hypnotize Yourself to a Healthier You." Listen to the sound of my voice. You're feeling very sleepy. You're lying in a field. You're feel–




 * Hmph.


 * Did it help?


 * No! And neither is that! Get those chips out of my face!




 * Hey, what are you guys doing?


 * Do we really have to tell you, or will you just admit that you've been eavesdropping and already have a solution?


 * I sure do! Just leave it to Scoop Dogg!


 * Oh. Okay. Is he coming here, or do we go to him?


 * Neither.


 * So, we just...wait here, or...


 * No, no. It's me. I'm Scoop Dogg. It's a new nickname I'm trying.


 * and : Oh.


 * That was not at all clear.




 * Did it work?


 * Not really. Aversion therapy is just advertising with different music.




 * See? ...Also, it would have worked better if you hadn't wedged my eyes open with French fries.




 * Any other bright ideas?


 * How about Mr. Small's group therapy? It's really good. I've been to every single one to cure my obsessive personality. Every...single...one. Haven't missed a week. Tried to – couldn't.

Group Therapy



 * Is everyone here? Good. Welcome to the therapy group.


 * Wait, it's just you guys? You can't be a group of two. That's a duo.


 * Well, I just thought "duo therapy" sounded weird.


 * It is weird.


 * Oh, oh, oh! I'll start. My name is Sarah, and I'm obsessive about comics, movies, Gumball, fan art, Darwin, Gumball and Darwin, making lists about things I'm obsessed with–


 * Sarah! This isn't about you! It's about me – helping Darwin to give up potatoes.


 * Nature's taste grenade? Why?!


 * Because it's upsetting Idaho.


 * Very well. I gave up eating meat using the visualization technique. Each time I wanted to eat some meat, I would picture it with a face. It was harrowing, but it worked. Try it.


 * Howdy!


 * Whoa! I think it worked! I don't feel like eating potatoes anymore. Thank you, Mr. Small.




 * What's that on your desk?


 * Nothing. Go back to the part where you were saying what a great duo therapist I am.


 * I never said that. Is that a string of sausages? And you've got steaks hidden under here!




 * Darwin, wait! It's not what it looks like. I've been hiding meat around my desk because I can't stop eating it!


 * That's exactly what it looks like.


 * You're a total fake! That's it!


 * and : No!


 * I'm sorry, but this is who I am! Huh. I don't feel any different. Do I look okay?




 * Potato.


 * Potato.


 * Potato, potato.


 * , and : POTATO! POTATO!


 * Hello, Darwin! Nice to see you! Glad to have you back with us!


 * But we have things we need to tell if it isn't too much fuss!


 * We really can't forgive when you cut us into pieces!


 * We wish you haven't eaten all our nephews and nieces!


 * Mashed, and baked, and fried, and roasted!


 * Sautéed, boiled, grilled, and toasted!


 * Peeled off all our skin! Dug out all our eyes!


 * Diced into wedges and you sliced us into fries!


 * We are glad we came to see you! One more thing we must discuss!


 * The final thing we need to say is...


 * PLEASE, WILL YOU STOP EATING US?!?




 * Uh...you okay, buddy?


 * That's it! I need to do this on my own. I'm gonna lock myself in my room until I beat this thing!


 * Uh, Mr. Small, Darwin just skipped out on the rest of the school d–


 * Don't look at me!

Good News



 * Brotato! We did it! We did it! Darwin's given up eating potatoes!




 * I knew you'd be pleased, but I didn't realize you'd get so emotional.


 * I'm not. You just shut my hand in the locker.


 * Oh. Sorry.


 * So, what was that about Darwin?


 * He's gone home and locked himself in his room to quit eating potatoes because it was upsetting you.


 * Why would I be upset? I'm not the same potatoes as you eat in the canteen. Are you saying that all potatoes look the same?


 * Uh... Eh... Uh, uh...


 * Say "no!"


 * No?


 * I'm gonna go see Darwin.


 * So, it looks like everything worked out well in the end.


 * I don't think you understand what just happened. Darwin is struggling to battle his potato cravings, and you just let Idaho – the potato – go off and see him!


 * So, we're good?



Potato-Starved



 * Phewie! Sure is hot. I better put some sunscreen on.




 * Well, plow my furrow! This ain't sunscreen! It's tanning oil! Look at me, getting all crispy!




 * Okay, one more time! So, Idaho has gone to see Darwin. Remember, Darwin is struggling to resist eating potatoes...


 * If I have a serious expression and nod really slowly, it'll look like I'm listening to every word she's saying.


 * Gumball!


 * What?


 * You do realize you said all of that out loud?


 * Quick! Think of a good excuse.


 * And that!




 * Hey! What do you think you're doing?!


 * I'm salting the roads for ice.


 * But it's, like, 90 degrees out here, and it's June!


 * I'm so fired.




 * Okay, so, here's a model of the block you live on. I'm sorry I didn't have time to build it to scale. So, here's Darw–


 * Sarah! We don't have time for this! I just realized that Idaho is on his way to see the potato-starved Darwin and Idaho is a potato!


 * Rrrrr!!




 * Oh, no! The truck is out of control!




 * Oh. I guess it's all right.




 * Darwin? Darwin?




 * Darwin?




 * Eh. Darwin?




 * Darwin? Darwin?




 * Darwin! Darwin! Don't do it! Open up! Open up!




 * Oh. Thanks.




 * Darwin?




 * Nooooooooooo!


 * Gumball?


 * Not now, Idaho! Nooooo! Wait. What?


 * Idaho brought me this baked to show me it's okay to eat potatoes, and there's no hard feelings.


 * Brotato! You're alive!


 * Hmph!


 * Wait. I thought you were upset at Darwin.


 * No, I was upset at you! I hate that stupid nickname!


 * Oh, we thought you were annoyed about the potato thing, but you were annoyed about the brotato thing!




 * Just laugh with them, and they'll think you understand.


 * So, we're all gonna pretend we didn't hear him say that, right?


 * Yeah.