The Time Traveler's Pig

! !Stan Pines !Dipper Pines !Stan !Mabel Pines !Stan !Soos !Stan !Soos !Stan !Soos !Stan !Blendin Blandin ! !Stan !Tourists !Stan !Tourists !Stan !Tourists !Stan !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper and Wendy !Wendy !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper ! !Wendy ! !Dipper !Mabel !Robbie !Dipper !Robbie !Mabel !Robbie !Dipper !Robbie !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Sprott !Mabel !15-Poundy !Mabel !15-Poundy !Mabel !Pacifica !Mabel !Sprott !Mabel !Sprott !Crowd !Sprott !Mabel !Sprott !Mabel !Wendy !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Ball game carnie !Wendy !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Blendin !Dipper !Robbie !Wendy !Robbie !Wendy !Robbie ! !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel ! !Pizza man !Dipper !Pizza man !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Blendin !Mabel !Blendin !Mabel !Blendin !Dipper !Blendin !Robbie and Wendy !Dipper ! !Dipper !Blendin !Dipper !Blendin !Dipper !Mabel !Blendin !Dipper and Mabel !Blendin !Mabel !Blendin !Dipper !Mabel !Blendin !Soos !Blendin !Soos !Blendin !Dipper !Soos ! !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Waddles !Soos !Pizza Man ! !Soos !Pizza man !Dipper and Mabel !Dipper !Dipper and Mabel !Stan !Dipper !Mabel !Sprott !Mabel !Sprott !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Ball game carnie !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Wendy !Robbie !Wendy ! !Dipper !Mabel !Waddles !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper and Mabel ! !Carnie ! !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Wendy !Robbie !Mabel ! !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Crowd ! !Crowd !Stan ! !Ball game Carnie !Wendy !Dipper !Robbie !Wendy !Robbie !Wendy !Robbie !Wendy !Bell game carnie !Mabel !Sprott !Pacifica !15-Poundy !Mabel ! !Wendy !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel ! !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Buffalo !Dipper and Mabel !Settler !Settler 2 !Grady !Mabel !Dipper !Grady !Fertilia !Mabel !Boy !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Meccs !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Dipper and Mabel !Dipper !Dinosaur !Dipper and Mabel !Freedom Fighter 1 !Freedom Fighter 2 !Time Baby !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Old Man McGucket ! !Stan !Dipper ! !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel ! !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !15-Poundy !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Soos !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Wendy !Dipper !Ball game Carnie !Dipper !Wendy !Robbie !Dipper !Mabel !Waddles !Mabel !Waddles !Pacifica !Dipper !Blendin !Dipper and Mabel !Waddles !Blendin !Dundgren !Blendin !Lolph !Dundgren !Blendin !Lolph !Blendin !Dipper !Mabel !Stan !Crowd !Stan !Lolph !Crowd !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Dipper !Robbie !Mabel !Waddles !Robbie ! !Wendy !Dipper ! !Time Baby !Blendin !Time Baby !Blendin
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 * The episode opens to the Mystery Fair being constructed.
 * There she is, Mabel. The cheapest fair money can rent. I spared every expense.
 * (His screaming is heard off screen, then he comes falling down in a tram car) I think the sky tram is broken. Also, most of my bones.
 * Ha ha, this guy. Alright, alright. I've got a job for you two. (Pulls out a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates with the letter A+ on them) I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit. (hands them to Dipper ,who gives some to Mabel)
 * Grunkle Stan, is that legal?
 * When there's no cops around, anything's legal! Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?
 * (Using a blowtorch on the handle of a dunk tank) Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines.
 * (Knocks on the target and the seat barely moves) Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu! There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!
 * Yeah, except for like a futuristic laser arm cannon.
 * Ah. Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya? Darn thing went missing. (Digs around in toolbox)
 * Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it.
 * Oi! You've been spending too much time with those kids. (Keeps digging in toolbox and mumbling) Alright, let's see where'd I put that thing.
 * (Behind some portable toilets) The mission is proceeding as planned. Over. (Uses Stan's red screwdriver to fix his camouflage suit, then walks away)
 * Cut to theme song
 * (through megaphone:) It's 12 o' clock! The Dunk Tank is now open!
 * (cover their ears as the megaphone screeches)
 * Step right up, and dunk me folks! (points to a tourist eating a pretzel) I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!
 * (Are all gathered in front of Stan's dunk tank)
 * That's right! Muffin-top, High-pants! Who wants a piece of me?
 * (Throw balls at dunk tank, but fail to knock down Stan)
 * Ahahahaha! Come back anytime, folks! Ahahahaha!
 * (Eating corn dog shaped like question mark. To Wendy:) How do they get them into this shape? It's unnatural.
 * But Dipper, they're so... (Holds up corn dog to the end of the sign that says "DELICIOUS") delicious?
 * (Laugh)
 * (Mustard drips on her) Aw, boo! I'll be right back. (leaves)
 * I'll be right here! Haha! (whispering:) I love you!
 * (Enters with two cotton candy sticks) Look at you two! Getting all romantic at the fair!
 * Eh, it's no big deal.
 * Yeah, it is!
 * Okay, you're right, it is! Isn't this amazing? I just dove in! I said, "Hey! You wanna hang out at the fair?" And you know what she said?
 * Flashback to Dipper and Wendy in the gift shop
 * Yeah, I guess so.
 * Cut back to the present)
 * "Yeah, I guess so!" It totally worked! All your advice about just going for it, it's finally paying off!
 * When are you gonna learn, Dipper? I'm always right about everything! Hey, do you smell a gallon of body spray?
 * (walks up) Hey, have either of you dorks seen Wendy around?
 * Who wants to know?
 * (takes some of Mabel's cotton candy )
 * Hey!
 * Yeah, I got some new super tight jeans. (thrusts) Thought she might want to check 'em out.
 * Yeah! You know, I think I saw her in the Bottomless Pit. You should really go jump in there.
 * Maybe I will, smart guy. (bumps Dipper on his way away)
 * He is such a jerk.
 * Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs.
 * I'll be there with you, brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the- OH MY GOSH A PIG!!!!! (Runs frantically and bumps several people on the way to the pigpen)
 * If'n you can guess the critter's weight, you can take the critter home!
 * (looks at all the pigs, then sees 15-Poundy)
 * Oink-oink!
 * (Gasp) He said "Mabel"! Either that or "doorbell". Did you say "Mabel" or "doorbell"?
 * Oink-oink!
 * Ooooooooooohhhhh!!!
 * Oh look! Mabel found her real twin. (Laughs and walks away)
 * (Whispers:) Pacifica! Sir, I must have that pig!
 * Ah, old 15-Poundy! So, how much you guessin' he weighs?
 * Um, 15 pounds?
 * Are you some kind of witch? Well, here's your pig. (Gives Mabel 15-Poundy)
 * (Claps for Mabel)
 * (Gives Mabel fork and knife) And you'll be needin' these.
 * (Glares at him)
 * Nope? Well, suit yourself!
 * (Hugs 15-Poundy) Everything is different now.
 * Whoa, check it out! don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!
 * (Walks up to ball toss game) My uncle taught me the secret to these games. You aim for the carnie's head, and take the prize when he's unconscious.
 * Ha ha ha! Nice!
 * (Gives carnie money) One ball, please.
 * (Gives Dipper ball) You only get one chance.
 * (Gives Dipper thumbs up)
 * And a-one and a-two and a-three! (Throws ball. It misses, bounces back, and hits Wendy in the eye)
 * AH! MY EYE!
 * Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Wendy! Are you okay?
 * Does it look swollen? (she has a black eye)
 * Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry! I'll-I'll go get some ice! (runs to ice box, gets ice) Where is she, where is she? (runs into Blendin Blandin and drops ice. Dipper scrapes it into the bag) Hey, watch where you're going, man!
 * (Grabs time machine and runs off)
 * (Finishes scraping ice into bag and starts toward Wendy. He stops when he hears Robbie)
 * Just ease your eyeball into that freezy cone.
 * (With her eye in a snow cone) Robbie, thanks. That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavored syrup.
 * Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time. Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you.. we've been spending a lot of time together, and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?
 * Yeah, I guess so.
 * Sweet!
 * Dipper is horrified. A balloon shaped like a heart is popped by a dart behind him. All the ice falls out of the bag.
 * (Comes up to Dipper with Waddles) Look, Dipper! I won my pet pig! His name is Waddles. I call 'im that because he waddles! (shakes Waddles) Waaaaaaaa-dddllleeessss!
 * Everything is different now.
 * What are you lookin' at?
 * (Points at Robbie and Wendy getting on a ride called "Tunnel of Love and Corn-dogs")
 * Oh...
 * Night falls and the lights on the ferris wheel are turned on. Dipper lies down on the "Slopey Toss" 
 * Uh, are you gonna move?
 * Uhhhhhhhh..
 * Aw... (disappointed, leaves)
 * (Holds up Waddles, who is dressed as a doctor) Paging, Dr. Waddles, we got a boy here with a broken heart. Haha! Come on, man. These are the jokes.
 * Mabel, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?
 * Nope! I do everything right, all the time! (Moves Waddles' arms around) Wa! Wa! Ee! Ee! Wawawa!
 * I mean Wendy only went out with Robbie because he was there with the ice, and she needed the ice because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it wasn't for... (gasp) that guy! (to Blendin Blandin:) Hey, you! Toolbelt! You ruined my life! (walks up to him) Don't hand me. I've seen you before, what's your deal? Are you following us?
 * And why are you bald? What's that all about?
 * AAAAAGH! My position has been COMPROMISED! Assuming stealth mode! (presses buttons on his watch, making his suit change to different backgrounds) Color match! Initiating color match! Come on, dang it! (takes out screwdriver and tries to fix it)
 * That's amazing! Are you from the future or something?
 * Uh, NO!! Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE! (Throws baby wipe in Mabel's face)
 * (Looks at it) This is a baby wipe.
 * All right, you've cornered me. I'm... a time traveler.
 * So wait a minute, if you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?
 * That's... kinda how it works.
 * (Riding the Ferris wheel)
 * Can I borrow it?
 * Commercial Break
 * Come on, can I use your time machine just once?
 * No! Out of the question! You know, this is sensitive extremely complicated time equipment. (pulls out tape measure to show them)
 * It looks like a tape measure.
 * You shut your time-mouth!
 * (to Mabel:) This making any sense to you?
 * I think he's just crazy.
 * Oh! You don't believe me? (pulls tape measure, disappears, then reappears a few seconds later in old fashioned clothes) Guess where I was!
 * Whoa!
 * That's right! 15 years ago there was a costume shop right here! One second. (disappears, then reappears in his normal suit, which is flaming) Ah! Aw, heck! Pat! Pat down! (pats the fire out)
 * So, who are you again?
 * Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty snyeventy-twelve. My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are suppose to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired...(sits down)
 * You know, you sound like you could use a break.
 * Definitely, definitely. Might we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?
 * (gets up) You know what? What the heck! I'm worth it! (starts to leave) But I've got my eye on you! Ehhh... ehhh... (arrives at the barrel ride, which Soos is operating) One please.
 * Uh, sorry dude but you're gonna have to take your belt off for the ride. One of your tools might fly off and accidentally fix something.
 * (Gives it to him) Guard it with your life.
 * I will watch it like a hawk, dude. (Starts ride and sets the belt on the barrel at his side)
 * Woooooo! Yaaaaaaayyy! Weeheee!
 * (Reaches over and takes the belt)
 * Like a hawk!
 * Cut to Dipper, Mabel and Waddles sitting at the poker table in the Shack with the time machine on the table.
 * Here it is, Mabel. Our ticket to any moment in history.
 * Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!
 * No! We gotta be smart about this. All that paradox talk kinda freaked me out. All I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that base ball throw, I won't hit Wendy in the eye, and Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out.
 * I'm coming, too! I wanna relive the greatest moment in my life: winning Waddles. (kisses Waddles)
 * (pulls out tape) See you later.
 * See you earlier! Ha yuk yuk yuk!
 * (releases the tape and high fives Mabel, making them both freeze)
 * (runs away, knocking a pile of cards of the table. He and the cards freeze) 
 * (eats half a sandwich, then freezes mid bite.
 * (throws a ball, which freezes, and he does too.)
 * Dipper and Mabel disappear.
 * (Spits it out, eating it in reverse)
 * (catches ball)
 * (Reappear in same spot. Dipper's hat is on fire)
 * (pats fire) Ah! Ha! Ha!
 * (smile at each other and run outside)
 * It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!
 * (to Mabel:) Do-over?
 * Do over!
 * If'n you can gue-
 * (holding Waddles) 15 POUNDS! (Walks off, then comes back) And yes, I am a witch!
 * Well, time to round up a mob. (lights torch)
 * (catching up with Wendy) Hey, Wendy!
 * There you are. Hey, what happened to your hat?
 * Uh, nothing. Hey, look! What's that? (going to carnival stand)
 * Whoa! Check it out! I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one.
 * (to Ball game carnie:) One ball, please.
 * You only get one chance.
 * That's what you think... One panda-duck, comin' right up! Okay, Dipper, second chance, don't mess this up. (throws ball, knocks down all the cans) Yes! (The ball hits the back of the stand and bounces back and hits Wendy in the eye.)
 * AAAAHH! MY EYE!
 * What?!
 * Does it look swollen?
 * (looks at hands) That's so weird...
 * Oh, hey Robbie.
 * So anyway, we've been hanging out a lot, and I've been wondering if, maybe, you would want to go out with me?
 * Yeah, I guess so.
 * Mabel is feeding Waddles a caramel apple while Dipper talks to her
 * The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky.
 * Oo, maybe it's a time-curse. Waddles, can you say "time-curse"?
 * Oink-oink!
 * Ooooooohhhhhhh! (picks him up) Your face is so fat!
 * It is possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes? No, I just need to try again. Third time's the charm!
 * How hard could it be?
 * (pull the tape and disappear)
 * A crowd with torches walks around
 * Find the witch!
 * Montage of Dipper trying to win the game without hitting Wendy in the eye, and failing every time
 * Wendy, how badly do you want that stuffed animal thing?
 * More than anything in the world, Dipper.
 * Ahkay... (throws ball, which bounces off the back, hits the carnie, the stuffed animal, and a bag of balls, breaking the bag open and spilling the balls on Wendy)
 * AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
 * (helps her up and shakes his head at Dipper)
 * (riding the ferris wheel with Waddles) I LOVE MY PIG!!!
 * Mabel and Dipper are waiting near a popcorn machine, which Dipper is writing on.
 * ...I just thought the wind speed.. factoring cotton candy...
 * Face it, Dipper, you're obviously fated to have a bad day at the fair, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles. (shows him the sweater she's knitting, which has a pig on the front)
 * Like there's one variable missing...
 * What's a variable?
 * That's it! I've figured out to win the toss, not hit Wendy, and stop Wendy and Robbie from going out!
 * Great! I'm gonna go win my pig again. (walks off)
 * Whoa whoa whoa, you can't leave, I need you for my plan!
 * But what about Waddles?
 * It'll just take a few minutes, let's go! (pulls her away. Later, Dipper is at the game, looking at the wind speeds and everything)
 * Are you gonna go, man?
 * And a-one and a-two and a-uh! (throws ball straight up)
 * Ah! Dude! You missed!
 * Did I? (the ball comes back down, rolls down the tent, flies up, hits the windgage, rolls down a pipe which Mabel lifts up, and flies at the dunk tank target)
 * Huh!
 * The ball hits the target and nothing happens
 * Aaww!
 * Ahaha!
 * The ball comes back and flies between Dipper and Wendy, knocks down all the cans, and bounces off the back of the stand, and breaks through the top of the tent
 * Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species, miss. (gives Wendy Duck-panda)
 * (squeezes it) Oh, awesome!
 * (catches the ball in his hat)
 * There you are, Wendy!
 * Hey, Robbie.
 * So I was wondering it I.. you a...
 * Look what Dipper got for me!
 * Pfft. Whatever. Can't even tell what species it is. Stupid. (pulls hood over face and walks away)
 * What's his deal? Looks like I came to the fair with the right guy.
 * We have a winner!
 * (coming up behind Dipper. Dipper gives her a thumbs up) Anytime, broseph. Now to win my pig. AH!
 * (to Pacifica:) He's all yours! No one else's! Ol' 15-Poundy. Yours. Forever!
 * (Links leash onto 15 Poundy and pulls him away)
 * (looking at Mabel) SQEEEEEEEEEEEEAAALLLL!!!
 * NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (runs away)
 * Dipper and Wendy are riding the Tunnel of Love and Corn dogs and laughing
 * That was even more awesome the third time around! Funnel cake! Let's go get some, Dipper! (runs off)
 * (offscreen) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (runs on) AAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
 * What's-
 * AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
 * Mabel, what's-
 * AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
 * I'll just wait until you're done.
 * I'm done.
 * Okay, what is wrong?
 * We messed up the timeline! Pacifica saw the flyer and won Waddles before I did! She TOOK Waddles, Dipper!
 * Oh, Mabel, I'm sorry.
 * It's okay. We just need to go back (takes time machine from Dipper) and do things differently.
 * Mabel! Wait. (Takes time machine back) Look. I did the math. In any other timeline, Wendy ends up going out with Robbie. I can't mess up this day again!
 * But if we don't go, I'll lose Waddles forever! (Tries to take the time machine back)
 * Another car comes by and catches the tape, pulling it out a long way before letting go. Dipper and Mabel land flat on their faces on a dirt path
 * When are we?
 * The real question is: when are we? Oh wait, did you already-
 * Yeah, I already-
 * Alright.
 * It's the same thing. Do you hear that?
 * (stampede)
 * AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! (run and fall off a cliff) AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (fall through the roof of a caravan and onto some flour)
 * Be on the lookout for mountain lions, travelers!
 * (with a canteen) Dysentery! Who wants dysentery?
 * Forge ahead, mighty oxen, for a new life awaits us on this... Oregon trail.
 * Where are we? The 70s?
 * You sent us back 150 years, genius, it's pioneer times!
 * Bye, Trembley! Fertilia, it seems you've given birth to two more children!
 * It appears I have. More little hands to render the tallow.
 * Tallow? What?
 * Her mouth is filled with silver, mother!
 * These are called braces.
 * Mabel, we can't start messing with the past!
 * Oh, said the guy who messed with the past all day and cost me my pig? (holds up calculator) I'll mess with the past all I want! (to boy:) Check it out! A magic button machine! (gives it to him) Shoes that blink! (stomps on the floor and her shoes light up)
 * Ooooooooohhhhhh!
 * (takes calculator from boy)
 * (to Fertilia:) Hey, sister! Guess who gets to vote in the future! Ladies!! Up top! (high fives her) That's called a high five! Teach it to your friends!
 * (takes time machine from her) Give me that! I'm gonna set the timeline right! (pulls tape and he and Mabel disappear. They appear in front of a large carnivorous dinosaur)
 * AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
 * (frantically presses buttons on the time machine and they disappear)
 * (tries to eat them but misses)
 * (appear in the future. Everything is in ruins and there are two moons)
 * Run! Run!
 * IT'S COMING!
 * (floats over and destroys a building with laser eyes) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
 * This future seems neat!
 * (takes time machine and presses buttons frantically. They appear at the Gravity Falls Lake, at the opening day of fishing season)
 * I'M COMING, WADDLES!! (Runs off)
 * Hey! (runs after her and drops the calculator)
 * I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!!
 * Now they are at the unveiling of Wax Stan
 * But enough about me, behold: ME!
 * (trips over wire and loses his shoe)
 * They run across the yard of the Mystery Shack while the gnomes are cornering the golf cart. Mabel's flower pin flies out of her hair. They appear again in the same spot years ago, but this time it is snowing)
 * This thing is getting hotter! (tosses it from hand to hand) HOT! HOTHOTHOT!
 * WHAT DID YOU DO?!
 * I DON'T KNOW!!!
 * Mabel and Dipper disappear. After they are gone, Ford Pines opens the shack door and closes it after checking. Dipper and Mabel appear in a complete darkness.
 * Where are we?
 * There's nothing but inky blackness for miles! Mabel, don't you see? We've transported to the end of time!!!
 * AAAGH!
 * AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
 * AAAGH!
 * AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
 * AAAGH! Wait, why does it smell so bad in here? (finds a door and opens it. They are in the portable toilet at the Mystery Fair) Look, we're back in the present!
 * But which present?
 * (with the panda-duck) This is the best present ever!
 * Yes!
 * (Trying to get away from Pacifica) SQUUUEEEEEAAALLLLL!!
 * NO!!! (Chases Dipper) Gimme that thing! Dipper give it back!
 * (climbs to top of portable toilet) Look, Mabel, it's over! Okay? Give it up! I've worked too hard to lose this!
 * But what about Waddles? He was my soul mate!
 * You said that about a ball of yarn once! Do you really want Wendy to date Robbie?
 * I don't know... (starts to hit her head against the totem pole)
 * You're not guilt-tripping me, Mabel. Not this time.
 * (doesn't stop hitting her head against the pole)
 * Come on, Mabel, I know you. you're gonna forget about this in a day! (takes time machine out of pocket) Here! Hey! I'll prove it! (goes forward a day) See? (Mabel is still hitting her head on the pole) Okay, maybe you'll forget in a week... (goes forward a week, no improvement. Dipper starts to sweat) A month! She'll better in a month! (forward a month)
 * (Vines growing on her legs) Waddles...(smack) Waddles...(smack)
 * (leading a tour group)...And when you look at you're left, you'll see Miserable Mabel: a girl who went bonkers after her dreams were shattered by some heartless jerk. Oh, hey, Dipper!
 * (watches Mabel) Uh... Grrrr! (goes back. He is walking up to the ball game with Wendy)
 * I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!
 * (Sigh) Wendy, I just wanted to say that, well I just wanted say that people makes mistakes. And when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated.
 * Dude, you lost me.
 * I know... (to carnie:) One ball, please.
 * You only get one chance.
 * And a-one and a-two and a-huh! (throws ball, hits Wendy)
 * AUUGH! MY EYE!!
 * Hey, Wendy are you okay? You know this is the perfect time for me to ah... ask you something..
 * It is done.
 * (Attacks him in a hug and lifts him up) DIPPER!!!! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!
 * WE-WOW!
 * He's saying thank you in Pig! Aren't you, Waddles?
 * WE-WOW, WE-WOW, WE,WOW!
 * (being pecked by chicken) Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
 * I couldn't break your heart, Mabel. Besides, there's no way Wendy can date Robbie all summer, right?
 * (takes time machine) YOU TWO!!!!
 * AAAGH!
 * WEEE!
 * Do you have any idea, how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking; I wasn't there with you...it was probably a lot, right?
 * (he and Lolph appear next to Blendin) Blendin Blandin...
 * AAAAGH! The Time Paradox Avoidment Enforcement Squadron!!
 * That's right, and our phones have been ringing off the hook! There are settlers high-fiving in the 1800's and calculators littered through eight centuries!
 * You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct. (handcuffs him and leads him away)
 * It was those kids! And their leader, Waddles!
 * That's a pig, Blendin.
 * (to Dipper and Mabel:) I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!!
 * Well, we're still here.
 * Guess he forgot to go back.
 * Ha, you suckers! Your pockets are empty and I'm still sittin' high and dry!
 * BOOOO!!!!
 * Boo! Ha, boo! I love it! Hey, biceps! I'm talking to you, haircut! Take you best shot!
 * (shoots Stan down and leaves)
 * YYAAAAYY!
 * So I guess we never found out who was causing those time anomalies Blendin was looking for.
 * Wait, Mabel; I think it was us.
 * Ugh, my brain hurts.
 * Oh, geez, I gotta deal with this all summer?
 * (feeding Wendy caramel apple) It's good; it's caramel.
 * I'm on it. (points Waddles at the apple)
 * HUH! (runs at Robbie, making him drop the apple. Waddles eats it.)
 * (backs into a table and spills a buck of hot water on himself) My pants! They're shrinking!
 * Everyone laughs.
 * (Laughs) Oh man.
 * That'll do pig, That'll do.
 * Cut to end credits.
 * (suspending Blendin in a void) You have broken the eternal laws of space time!
 * I beg your mercy, Time Baby!
 * You now must clean up all the anomalies!
 * (Picks up the calculator) Ta tum, ta tee ta tum! (goes to the time of the flower that was dropped. To gnome:) What are you looking at? (Disappears)
 * }