A Benihana Christmas

Dwight: Once I brought in a duck. To prepare for lunch. And, people got...upset. Apparently, they got attached to the duck, and didn't want to see it killed.

Dwight: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious, smoky, rich flavor. Plus you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.

Jim: Wow...win-win.

Dwight: Exactly! Thank you Jim...

Phyllis: I like goose...It's already dead - is it so crazy that we eat it?

Creed: That's crazy...It's crazy.

Jim: It's a bold move, to photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father - but then again Michael's a bold guy...Is "bold" the right word?

Pam: For the past few months, I've been sending Dwight letters from the CIA...They're considering him for a top-secret mission...This is where I made list every secret he promised he'd never, ever tell!...So, here's the gift - you get to decide what his top-secret mission is!

Jim: You know what, I really don't think I should be doing this stuff anymore though...

Pam: Oh...of course...

Michael: We're going to Asian Hooters!

Ryan: I can't...

Michael: Why not?

Ryan: I'm not feeling so well...I've got a ton of work to do here...MSG allergy...peanut allergy...I just ate there last night... Jim: Wow! Thanks for taking all the excuses, dude...

Ryan: Doctor's appointment...car trouble...planter warts...granddad fought in World War II...Use your head, man - I keep mine in here...Look alive, Halpert - welcome back!

Kevin: I hear Angela's party will have double-fudge brownies...but it will also have Angela. So, double-fudge...Angela... Double fudge......Angela...Hmmmmmmm...

Karen: Are we taking this too far? No, I don't think we're taking this far enough.

(Pam shudders)

Karen: What?

Pam: You gave me goosebumps.

Jim: Oh, no, this is different! The CIA thing? That was a prank on Dwight, this is more like a, um...OK, it's pretty much the same thing!

Jim: You just had a rebound...which, don't get me wrong, can be a really fun distraction...but when it's over, you're left thinking about the girl you really like, the one that broke your heart.

Jim: Goodnight, Pam.

Pam: G'nite!

Jim: Oh, you know what? Sorry, I forgot to tell you - I intercepted a transmission earlier, and it seems that the CIA is gonna need Dwight down at their headquarters at Langley for training...and an ice cream social with the other agents.

Pam: We should get him a bus ticket - to make his trip easier...It costs $75...

Jim: Well, maybe the CIA could send a helicopter!