Past, PresANT, and Future

Check it out. I took our 3D model and I added clouds, trees, rivers, and a baby goat. I'm not sure why the mountains are pink, though. Because they're lungs! Fletcher, this is our biology project! Oh. Biology not geology. I always mix up the "ologies". Looks like I owe you two ladies a sincere proctology. Everyone, I have an exciting announcement. We have a brilliant young prodigy coming to visit today! Oh, really? Where is he from? Nineteen eighty-six. Wow, this place is totally rad! I'm like, totally wigging out! Ooh, ooh. Ooh. Doo, doo. Ooh, ooh. Ooh. Doo, doo. Woo! Everybody's got that thing. Something different, we all bring. Don't you let 'em, clip your wings. You got it! You got it! We're on fire and we blaze, in extraordinary ways. 365 days. We got it! We got it! You can dream it. You can be it. If you can feel it, you can believe it! Because I am, you are, we are Exceptional. Exceptional! Yeah, I am, you are, we are Exceptional. Exceptional! Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh. Woo! Everyone, I'd like to introduce myself. Here I am. Well, teenage me. Really? You're me? What's with the disapproving tone? "Really? You're me?" What's wrong with how I look? You want me to start at the hairless top or the flabby bottom? Hey, this flabby bottom has a wallet in its back pocket filled with sixty-two billion dollars! I don't believe in banks. Hold on. You traveled here from nineteen eighty-six? You're Zoltan? In the flesh. Some of us in more flesh than others. I don't understand. Who is How did what was Huh? It's simple. When I was fourteen, I built this time machine using spare parts, '80s toys, and Hair Gel. We have a lot of Hair Gel in the '80s. Not that you'd need much of that right now. Will you shut my mouth? Anyway, I traveled to the future and arrived, well. About two minutes ago. Wow! What's the past like? Are there cyborgs and flying cars? It's the past. I know. I just don't really pay attention in history class. Z? Wait. Do I own this place? Yep. Not bad for a guy who got a D in physics. It's not my fault I can't concentrate sitting next to Tina Garcetti, the most bodacious girl in school. Uh Yeah. Here's her current profile picture. Yikes. She has less hair than you do. Except on her face. Well, I guess welcome to the 21st Century. I'm Chyna. You're a pretty girl and you're talking to me! Is she a robot? Never mind. It's better if I don't know. Yes! The entertainment center I ordered is finally here. No problem! We can put it together, right guys? Can you believe it? Zoltan won't let me use his time machine! He has a time machine? Yes! I need to use it to go back in time and undo a terrible tragedy! World War II? The Black Plague? The Spanish Inquisition? My fifth grade school picture! I had a bad hair day. Oh. I had a bad hair day once. Anyway. I wish I could go back in time and prevent that photographer from ever being born! Or just brush my hair. Well, you're in luck. I have my own time machine Kit. You just need to put it together. Wait. You can't buy time machines. Not now. But in the distant future, they're readily available. So I filled out an order form, left it here. It was found in the distant future, processed, and my time machine kit was sent back in time. That's just confusing enough to be believable! So, what do you think of the school you're going to build some day? I think it's very I am not a robot! I know, I know. Although that's what a robot would be programed to say. Well, now you've seen what it's like to be a teen in the 21st Century! Pretty different from back in the 1980s, when Christopher Colombo discovered electricity! I get that you're not interested in history class, but, try paying attention in life! Anyway Here's a document of all of the really important news events of the 21st Century. A copy of Teeny Bopper magazine. Oh, and don't get scared when you get to the article on Bieber Fever. It's not some horrible disease. Isn't it? Isn't it though? All right, Mini-Zee, time to go back to 1986. Forget it, Super-Size-Me. I'm not going. Why not? Because I'm in love with Chyna! What? Wait. I know why I said "what". And I know why he said "what". But why did you say "what"? I'm just surprised he's in love with you when there's Zazow! Look, you cannot be in love with me. We just met. - And you definitely can't stay here! - Why not? That's why. Why is he disappearing? Because teenage Zoltan has decided to stay here, he won't grow up to become this version of himself and he'll cease to exist. Please, Zoltan. You have to go back! I'm sorry, but what is there back in 1986 for me? Playing video games, having no date to The Prom, and ending up a big, bald loner? Big, balding loner. Look, I'm not going to stand here and Oh, there goes the foot. Zoltan, you're killing Zoltan! You have to go back to 1986! I'll tell you what, all the Zoltans will vote. If you want me to go back, raise your hand. It's unanimous. I'm staying. Look, you may be in love with Chyna, but she's never going to fall for someone she's known for two hours. She's going to fall for someone she's friends with who spends years slowly grinding away at her defenses. Let's not even discuss who I may or will never ever fall in love with. What are you guys saying? Why can't I hear you? It doesn't matter. The point is you're getting in that time machine you little He's gone! Wait, he built this building. And if he doesn't exist, then how can Z-Tech exist? It can't. Will you go back to 1986 if I come with you and be your date to The Prom? Wait, his date? Can we think of any other ideas? No! You'll be my date to The Prom tonight? I'm in. Activating temporal generator. We're like, totally going to 1986. Temporal transfer complete. That was gnarly to the max. Welcome to 1986! What have I done? I forgot to bring a prom dress! You look great. Why not wear what you're wearing? I can't do that! In my time, this outfit is '70s retro. But in the '80s, this is just out of date. You're still not done with the time machine yet? I guess your bad hair picture will be around forever. I'm working on it! Plus, these instructions are really complicated. And I got distracted for a few minutes when the building started to disappear. Yeah, that was weird. Whoa! The '80s are so '80s! I've got to take some pictures to show Olive! Pass me your cell phone! Oh, no. Here comes Tina Garcetti! Don't worry. I got this. Oh, wow, Trolltan, your cousin doesn't look anything likea ya. This one's not my cousin. That was one time! Really? You have an actual date? Of course I'm an actual date. I'm not a robot. I'm not a robot. Look, Zolturd, I have bigger problems than ya. I'm head of The Prom committee and the lead singer of the band is like, totally not coming. His car like, totally crashed and now it's like, totally totaled. Uh! Totally. Well, if you want, I could sing something. If your taste in music is anything like your taste in outfits I think I'll pass. You should meet this girl, Lexi, I know. I think you two would really hit it off. Really? This song? My mom listens to this song on Oldies 107. I mean Newies 107. Gonna hit the club tonight, slipping on my righteous skirt. Rubber bracelets on my arm, shoulder peeking out my shirt. I'm pretty in pink, dressed up to the max. Phonin' home like ET, so my dad won't heart attack. Gotta be who I am, yeah, totally, fer sure. Cuz no matter what you do, time goes by in a blur. So turn back the clock. I wanna rock. Gotta party till I drop. Hope the 80's never stop! Wow, she's really your girlfriend? Do you want to dance? I don't think I should. I'm here with someone else. This next song is called "Don't be a doofus. You should dance with her, you and I have no future". Seriously? That's an actual song? Okay, next I have to install the glass doors for the DVD cabinet. DVD cabinet? Oh. DVD stands for deionization vector doohickey. Oh. Okay, but, I don't see any glass. Well, you haven't assembled it yet. I'm supposed to make glass from sand? Forget it! I give up! Well, if you don't want to finish this time machine Maybe you could help me hang this school picture. All right, The Prom was fun, but it's time for me to head back to the 21st Century. Oh, no! Something went wrong! Like, no duh. Like, no duh. Zoltan? Zoltan? Zoltan! What? Do you think you could take a breather to fix the time machine? Uh. I don't exactly know how. What? It was kind of a fluke in the first place. So, I'm trapped in the '80s? Your cousin is like, a total buzz kill. Okay, Mr. Grundy's back and the building's back. So I guess Chyna got young Zoltan back to 1986. So, where is Chyna? I'm right here. Chyna? Olive? Fletcher? I haven't seen you guys in thirty years. What happened to you? You're old! Don't you sass me, young lady! Remember when I went back to 1986? Well, the time machine broke and I got stuck in the '80s. I had to live my life over the last three decades. I'm here at the school to enroll my daughter. You have a daughter? - Think she'd go out with me? - No. What about you? I don't see a ring on that finger. Chyna, I can't believe you're a grown woman with a daughter. That means you've done grown-up stuff. So tell me, what's it like to, uh Vote? You youngsters, so curious. Kids these days grow up too fast as it is. Look who's talking. You were fourteen this morning. Ugh! Tina Garcetti keeps trying to Z-Chat me! We went out a couple of times in high school. Move on! Who's that? It's me, Chyna. Wow. We went to prom together once! Move on! Mr. Grundy, you've got to do something! Our Chyna's gone forever. We were supposed to grow up together! I was supposed to be the Maid of Honor at her wedding! And I was supposed to be the groom! I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do. The time machine broke years ago. She's right. I kept it in storage, but I've never been able to fix it. By yourself. Now you've got a building full of prodigies! We can use our talents! Good idea. I'll go get my pastels so I can capture our work in an impressionist tableau! Well, I'd love to help, but I'm not a prodigy anymore. I'm just a middle aged woman who lives vicariously through her daughter. Ooh! Would you like to see a video of her singing? Okay, I think I'm at the final instruction! "Enjoy your new entertainment center". Entertainment center? Entertainment center! All right, that should do it. You guys are kind of moving around a lot. All right, let's power this thing up and see if it works. Tubular. I'm like, totally fixed, fer sure. Okay, now, to get our Chyna back, someone has to travel back in time to before this happened and destroy the time machine before young Zoltan ever has the chance to use it. One problem. If we destroy the time machine in 1986, whoever goes back to do it will be stuck there. You're right. It needs to be someone expendable, someone unimportant, someone we'll never miss and can all live without. Godspeed, Fletcher. Godspeed. I'll do it. This was never meant to be my life. Plus, I left my purse back in 1986. I can't wait until my time machine's finished. I can travel into the future. I hope they have girl robots! And that they're not picky. Who are you? I'm you from the future. What? I'm just kidding. Psych! What did you just do? I'm going to have to work all night trying to remember how I built this! Forget it. The Prom's tonight. And if you don't go, you'll always regret it. I can't go. I don't have a date. No matter what you do, time goes by in a blur. So turn back the clock. I wanna rock. Gotta party till I drop. Hope the '80s never stop! Uh, gag me with a spoon! Is that old lady really your date, Zolturd? As if. I'm here with my cousin. Look! Tina Garcetti just unfriended me! Everything is right in the world again! Well, if the time line's fixed, then our Chyna should be back. I am! - Chyna! - You're okay! Like, hardly. What a gnarly day. I am like, totally exhausted to the max. That's going to wear off, right? At least everything's back to normal. Thank goodness, because whenever I see a time travel movie, there's always some weird loose end they forget about. It drives me crazy! Chyna? Yes. - Do I know you? - Better than you know yourself. Actually, the same as you know yourself, because I'm you! Uh-oh. Remember when forty-something-year-old me went back to 1986 to destroy the time machines and got stuck there? Well, could you tell me about it, because I'm old and my memory's shot. So, you lived through the '80s twice? Yep! And all the chemicals in that Hair Gel gave me superpowers! Whoa, what a crazy dream! I used a time machine to travel back to the '80s and Mr. Grundy was a teenager and, I sang this weird song and, everybody liked it. That's like totally tubular to the max! I'm like, gonna call Fletcher and totally tell him about it! Hold on, am I still dreaming? What's happening? What's happening is my parents won't buy me a new phone! What happened to my What happened to my Time machine? I finished building it, then took it to the future, where it was desroyed in the robot wars. Wait, it works? You actually traveled through time? Awesome! Time to meet me some cave-women. Hopefully they're no too picky. - Don't bother, it's busted. - Huh? Darn you robots! No! It has to work. It has to! Lexi Reed, you're next. Okay, pretty smile!