The Vase

Urn Concern

 * Mom, what are you doing?
 * Ugh! There's not a single bit of space left in this whole house!
 * What for?
 * That!
 * It's like a ceramic cry for help.
 * It's a beautiful and generous gift from your grandmother, and I like it very much.
 * If you like it so much, why can't you look directly at it?
 * I can!
 * See, I'm looking at it right now. Oh, I love looking at it.
 * Yahh! That vase is still here! I thought you said, "Don't worry honey, I'll find a hiding place for that hideous monstrosity."
 * What are you talking about? I love this vase.
 * Then why did you say, "That vase looks like the type of vase a rebellious vase would date to make its parents angry?"
 * Fine, I hate it.
 * So how come you told Granny Jojo you liked it in a high-pitch voice, while smiling like this?
 * Okay, kids. Sometimes when you're an adult, you have to lie. All of the time about absolutely everything. And never show your feelings because it's impolite. Sit on them until you die, then bury them with you like the ancient Egyptians did.
 * You don't have to tell us. My last present from Granny Jojo was a pair of orthopedic shoes.
 * Yeah, and I didn't exactly ask Santa for an expired can of tuna fish.
 * And Dad could not have wanted those ridiculous granny undies.
 * Hey! I asked for these. They're comfortable, and keep everything in the right place.
 * I just wish she'd bought you the top half, too.
 * Wait a minute... Orthopedic shoes, old-person food, and a girdle? She's--
 * It's called re-gifting. It's a way for her to share the gifts she's been lucky enough to receive herself.
 * You mean she's passing off all her unwanted junk on to us, and pretending it's generosity.
 * Hey, a gift isn't just an object. It's the thought behind it. And... she puts no thought into them whatsoever.
 * Why don't you just, you know...
 * I mean smash it and pretend it was an accident.
 * Because that would make me a terrible role model. But children are allowed to have that kind of accident.
 * So... you're saying you want us to smash the vase?
 * A good mother would never ask such a thing. Don't you dare break this vase.
 * So... you don't want us to smash the vase?
 * ,, & : Huh?
 * So... you're saying you want us to smash the vase?
 * A good mother would never ask such a thing. Don't you dare break this vase.
 * So... you don't want us to smash the vase?
 * ,, & : Huh?
 * ,, & : Huh?

Art Attack

 * Okay.
 * ,, & : Three, two, one--
 * No! Wait, wait! We should say something cool first. I'm afraid you lost the pottery lottery.
 * & : Ehh.
 * Oh! I got one! Looks like this wasn't orna-meant to be.
 * & : Mm-mm.
 * In your vase!
 * ,, & : Oh.
 * Maybe this is gonna be harder than we thought.
 * I guess it wasn't orna-meant--
 * Dude, it didn't work the first time.
 * Huh, I would've thought I'd get hit.
 * I need to revise my calculations.
 * What's the most surefire way of guaranteeing something will break? Put it in the mail, marked "Fragile."
 * Woo-hoo! Mailman. Special delivery.
 * Uh, we're not here. Could you just, um, post it through the door?
 * Makes sense to me.
 * That's not the vase.
 * Yeah, that's the tablet Gumball asked Mom for, for his birthday.
 * There's this, too.
 * ,, & : Agh!
 * It's hopeless. It's indestructible.
 * Wait, there's still something we haven't tried. What's the most mindless, destructive, butter-fingered force in this house?
 * Makes sense to me.
 * That's not the vase.
 * Yeah, that's the tablet Gumball asked Mom for, for his birthday.
 * There's this, too.
 * ,, & : Agh!
 * It's hopeless. It's indestructible.
 * Wait, there's still something we haven't tried. What's the most mindless, destructive, butter-fingered force in this house?
 * It's hopeless. It's indestructible.
 * Wait, there's still something we haven't tried. What's the most mindless, destructive, butter-fingered force in this house?

Commercial Breaking

 * ,, & : Dad!
 * Uh, why are you spreading butter on your hand?
 * Duh, we ran out of bread.
 * Right... Could you do us a big favor, and just, uh, hold this for maybe five seconds?
 * But whatever you do, don't drop it.
 * Sure.
 * ,, & : Ugh!
 * Why couldn't you have managed that when I was a baby?
 * So what do we do?
 * I guess we just need to accept it. We're gonna be lumbered with this vase for the rest of our lives.
 * All set for your prom night, son?
 * Uh, yeah?
 * There she is!
 * Isn't she beautiful?
 * Uh...
 * Okay, graduates. Say, "synthetic organic cheese substitute."
 * I never thought I'd say this. But, vase? You were the best gosh darned friend I ever had.
 * That... wasn't my vision.
 * We've seriously gotta get rid of this thing.
 * But how?
 * Elmore Wrecking Yard
 * We wreck 'em! We're on the ball
 * Cars! We wreck 'em
 * Trucks! We wreck 'em
 * Printer cartridges! We wreck 'em
 * Divest yourself, it's good for you
 * Bath rugs! We wreck 'em
 * Elmore Wrecking Yard
 * We wreck 'em! We're on the ball
 * Cars! We wreck 'em
 * Trucks! We wreck 'em
 * Printer cartridges! We wreck 'em
 * Divest yourself, it's good for you
 * Bath rugs! We wreck 'em
 * Bath rugs! We wreck 'em


 * Hmm... wait a minute.


 * Steam trains! We wreck 'em


 * Yeah, this ad's really distracting.
 * No, don't you see? That's it!


 * Divest yourself, and lose your blues


 * Elmore Wrecking--
 * Darwin! Come on!
 * Sorry.

Vase Of Mistaken Identity

 * Hello?
 * It's your mother-in-law.
 * Tell her I'm not here.
 * No, it's your mother-in-law speaking right now.
 * No, it's your mother-in-law speaking right now.