The Rhinitis Revelation


 * (Sheldon sneezes)
 * Amy: You getting sick?
 * Sheldon: No, just allergic to people who get Nobel Prizes for no good reason.
 * Amy: Sheldon, is it possible your foul mood, or, to use the clinical term, bitchiness...is because your mother isn't making you a priority?
 * Sheldon: No, or, to use the clinical term, na-ah.


 * Sheldon: I've got a treat for us tomorrow, Mom. I’m taking you to see Saul Perlmutter give a lecture about his Nobel Prize-winning work in cosmology. And the best part is, at the afterward, I've worked up a couple of Qs that will stump his sorry A.
 * Mrs. Cooper: I don't know, Shelly. I thought we could do a little sightseeing.
 * Sheldon: What sight is better than your little boy embarrassing a Nobel laureate?


 * Mrs. Cooper: I am still going out with your friends.
 * Sheldon: But I apologized. And that was hard for me since I didn't do anything wrong.
 * Mrs. Cooper: Shelly, I hung out with you in enough dusty lecture halls while you were growing up. I wanna go sightseeing. So why don't you have some pancakes, get dressed, and come with us.


 * (Sheldon enters, soaking wet while holding a tissue)
 * Sheldon: I need a tissue, this one got wet.


 * Mrs. Cooper: So Shelly what's up with you and your friend Amy, if you don't mind a mother prying a bit.
 * Sheldon: Well, there's actually big news on the Amy front. She's been studying, the neurobiology of addiction in lower animals, she is "this" close to getting a hooked on.


 * Mrs. Cooper: (to Leonard) You have any idea what's going on with those two?
 * Leonard: Mm, it's kind of like the, and maybe there's something there, maybe there isn't, we'll probably never know. But, sometimes it's fun creeping yourself out thinking about it.


 * (the group, minus Sheldon, is visiting a Catholic church with Mrs. Cooper)
 * Raj: Hey, look. (shows Howard a cross with Jesus on it) None of our look like that.
 * Howard: Yeah, that was the last Jew to ever do sit ups. And look where it got him.


 * Mrs. Cooper: You’re missing out. It’s gonna be wall-to-wall fun. It’s all themed. There’s "Jonah and the Whale Watching", all-you-can-eat "Last Supper Buffet", and my personal favorite, "Gunning with God".
 * Leonard: What’s "Gunning with God"? I’m afraid to ask.
 * Mrs. Cooper: Oh, it is a hoot and a half. You write your sins on a clay pigeon, they fire ‘em up in the air, and you pulverize them with a 12-gauge shotgun full of our Lord’s forgiveness.


 * Leonard: (opens door and enters Sheldon's room) Mrs. Cooper, will we supposed to take that pie out of the oven?
 * Sheldon: Get out.
 * (Leonard exits and closes door)
 * Mrs. Cooper: Well, that was rude.
 * Sheldon: I know, but he means well.