Party Horse

(Episode begins with Mordecai and Rigby standing in front of a burger truck)

Rigby: Aw, yeah-uh, burgers for lunch!

Mordecai: You get the portabella mushroom burger?

Rigby: You porto better believe it.

Mordecai and Rigby: Ooohhhhhh!!!!

Gimelli: Order up.

Mordecai and Rigby: Yeah, yeah, yeah! (They get their burgers)

Rigby: Aw, yeah, this is gonna be good!

Mordecai: Yeah, but I feel like we're forgetting something.

Benson: MORDECAI AND RIGBY, YOU FORGOT TO FILL THAT POTHOLE! (He points at a small pothole next to the burger truck's wheel)

Mordecai: Oh, yeah, that thing. Well, see, I think we'll work better if we take a quick snack break.

Rigby: Look, we promise to do it right after.

Benson: NO! NO BURGERS! JUST FILL THE POTHOLE OR YOU'RE FIRED! (He walks away)

Mordecai: Dude, just one bite?

Rigby: There's nothing on Earth that's gonna stop me from eating this burger.

(As they are about to eat, they see an anonymous object falling out of the sky and lands near the food truck, creating a larger hole)

Mordecai: Aw, man! Now the pothole's way bigger!

(They walk towards it and see an egg shaped spacecraft in the hole)

Mordecai and Rigby: Wooooooooaaaaahhh

Mordecai: Dude, come on. (They run towards it. Mordecai touches it and it slowly opens) AH!

Mordecai and Rigby: (They both move towards the opening, but confetti shoots out) AAAHH!

(Partying music starts to play, and a passed out horse is seen with a few empty soda cans.)

Rigby: What the-AH! (The horse falls out of the spacecraft. Scene cuts to the horse slowly waking up in the house and seeing Mordecai and Rigby standing there.) Dude, he's waking up.

Party Horse 42699: What..what's going on? Who are you guys?

Mordecai: We're Mordecai and Rigby, who are you?

Party Horse 42699: I'm Party Horse, and I like to paaaaaaaarrrrrrrtay! So, hey, uh, where am I?

Mordecai: You're on Earth, dude.

Party Horse 42699: Earth?! Wait, what country is this?!

Rigby: USA, man! Land of the free, home of the brave!

Party Horse 42699: *gasps* (he looks around and sees American objects, like a small Statue of Liberty, a book with Uncle Sam on the cover that states "I Want You To Save Big, All American Carpet", and a picture on the wall of George Washington. Party Horse starts to freak out) AAHH! I REMEMBER NOW. AAHH! (He kicks the picture, causing it to fall down and break)

Mordecai: Aww, man! Benson just hung that up!

Party Horse 42699: I'm sorry! It's just, ugh, U.S. History is a touchy subject for me.

Rigby: Woah, they have U.S. History where you're from?

Party Horse 42699: Yeah, that's why I'm here in the first place....(scene cuts to Party Horse Planet) Back on Party Horse Planet, partying wasn't just a hobby, it was a way of life. (Scene then shows Party Horse 42699 partying in a club with other Party Horses. He screams "WOOOOOOHH!!") Everyone partied non stop, day and night, around the clock. It was the best, man. (Scene now shows Party Horse 42699 partying while doing daily activities, such as taking a shower, flipping food in the kitchen, and sleeping) Until, we had to go to school. (scene now shows a group of Party Horses in class, including Party Horse 42699) AAAAUUUUUGGHH! (he then plays with his mouth out of boredom) They said, like, in order to become a legit Party Horses, we had to pass a U.S. History test.

Principal Party Horse: Party's over, because Professor Party Horse is out partying, I'm gonna have to give you this test.

Party Horse 42699: (Scene then shows Party Horse 42699 flipping through pages in the test) *sighs*, UUUUUUGGGHHH! (He grabs his head, then raises his hoof) Principal Party Horse?! Sir?!

Principal Party Horse: What is it, Party Horse 42699?

Party Horse 42699: Can I go to the bathroom? I promise I'll come right back, and take this test.

Principal Party Horse: Promise?

Party Horse 42699: (smiles) Promise. (scene freezes, Party Horse narrates again) And then I totally BAILED! (scene then shows Party Horse in his spacecraft, partying and drinking a soda. He finishes the soda and smashes the can with his head, then screams "WOOOOOHH!!" Scene then shows the spacecraft disappearing. Scene then cuts back to them in the Park house) Bottom line guys, if I don't pass the U.S. History test, I'll never be able to party again.

Mordecai: Woah, that's rough, dude.

Rigby: I still don't get why they have U.S. History on another planet!

Party Horse 42699: It's typical school, man. They don't even know! So, you guys think you could, like, help me study or somethin?

Mordecai: Party Horse, we'll help you pass that test, because we've always wanted to help an alien pass a U.S. History test.

Rigby: (while nodding) Yeah, ever since we saw that one movie with the alien in it.

Party Horse 42699: WOOOOHH! ALRIIIIGHT! (starts partying)

(scene now cuts to the three of them on the computer in the house)

Mordecai: Ok....what's a good history topic?

Rigby: Um.......presidents!

Mordecai: Ah, good one. (typing) Preeesiiident

Party Horse 42699: (also typing) ....ooof parrrtyyying

Mordecai: I don't think that's a real topic, Party Horse.

Party Horse 42699: No, no, just give it a second. (scene shows computer screen turn into a distracting page with icons partying, including a baby) Woah! That dancing baby knows how to party! (starts partying)

Mordecai: (looks at Rigby) Uh, maybe the Internet's too distracting.

(Scene then cuts to the Library, and the three walk in)

Mordecai: Ok, let's find the history section.

Party Horse 42699: (notices a librarian using a scanner and scanning books. He runs over to him)

Mordecai: (notices Party Horse running off) Huh?

Party Horse 42699: (grabs the scanner and flashes it around and starts to party again) Nts, nts, nts, nts, AH, AH, nts, nts, nts!

Rigby: I'd never thought I'd say this, but maybe the Library is too distracting.

(scene now cuts to an open field. Party Horse looks around, getting bored. He sees a tumbleweed fly by)

Party Horse 42699: Um, guys, *sighs* I'm worried it's gonna be really hard to throw a party out here, 'cause it's so boring.

Mordecai: (seriously) That's the idea, Party Horse. Now, let's study already.

Rigby: (also serious) Yeah, you're the one who asked us for help. (Both drop books at Party Horse's hooves)

Party Horse 42699: (takes one of the books and opens it. He looks at it, then starts complaining, while frantically flipping the pages) UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHAAAAAAGGGGHH! (slams book closed) LOOK. Guys. I'm gonna be real with you. I appreciate what you're doing, but I think I'll study better, if I just take a quick snack break.

Mordecai: (frustrated) Oh, come on! That's the lamest excuse in the book, Party Horse!

Rigby: (frustrated) Yeah,  I  don't even use that one anymore very often!

Party Horse 42699: Look, (puts one hoof over heart and the other in the air) I promise that if we go eat something, I'll study right after......right after.

Mordecai: (skeptically) You promise?

Party Horse 42699: (seriously) Promise.

(scene then cuts to the three of them on the couch in the Park house playing video games and eating grilled cheese sandwiches)

Party Horse 42699: WOH! Now this is a snack break!

Mordecai: Ok, we're done, now we gotta study.

Party Horse 42699: (complaining) AWWW COME ON, just ONE more round!

Mordecai: (frustrated) NO! No more distractions Party Horse!

Rigby: (frustrated) Yeah, nothing on Earth is gonna keep you from studying for that test!

(At that moment, another spacecraft can be heard crash landing out side of the house, which causes some shaking. The three go to the window and look outside. They see another giant hole created outside of the house, with the spacecraft peaking out)

Rigby: Man, I've gotta stop saying that!

Party Horse 42699: (nervously) He found me. I don't know how, but he found me!

Mordecai: What?! Who found you?

(The spacecraft is now slowly opening, and Principal Party Horse steps out)

Party Horse 42699: Principal Party Horse......

Principal Party Horse: (walks out of the hole, carrying an air horn. He takes off his sunglasses and speaks into it) Party Horse! I know you're in there. Come out right now and take that U.S. History test.

Party Horse 42699: I'll take it when I want, which is never old man! (blows party whistle)

Principal Party Horse: If you don't come out and take that test right now, I'm gonna blow up the Earth with this detonator! (pulls out the detonator, its starts beeping) 

Mordecai: WOAH, WHAT?!

Rigby: (to Party Horse) Can he do that?!

Party Horse 42699: ......yeah...

Principal Party Horse: Now if you don't come out on the count of three, your party is gonna end with a BANG! 1.....

Mordecai, Rigby, and Party Horse 42699: UuuuuUUUUUUUHH......(Principal Party Horse can be heard in the back ground still counting, ".....2.........2 1/2.....") (Mordecai then kicks the front door open and stops Principal Party Horse)

Mordecai: WAIT! Party Horse just isn't ready yet! He needs more time to study!

Principal Party Horse: He's had plenty of time!

Mordecai: Yeah, but it's not his fault! We distracted him by getting him to play video games with us!

Rigby: Yeah, that's it! Video games! Can't get enough of 'em here on Earth!

Mordecai: Look, just give him one hour to study. Please.

Principal Party Horse: Alright, fine. One hour. But if he fails the U.S. History test, you'll ALL be history! (puts sunglasses back on and stand on hind legs) BWAHAHAHAHAHA! *soft neigh* (he gallops away)

Party Horse 42699: Aw man, thanks so much you guys.

Mordecai: (seriously) Listen Party Horse, partying's cool and all, but now the whole Earth's on the line.

Rigby: (seriously) You have GOT to study man!

Party Horse 42699: No problemo, bros! (seriously) I promise I'm gonna cram harder than I've ever crammed so I can pass that test to keep your planet from blowing up.

''(Back in the house Party Horse flips a mixtape in a radio from "Party Mix" to "Teaching Montage Party Horse". A montage then starts in which Party Horse begins to study. In the kitchen, Mordecai and Rigby hand Party Horse a book. When he finishes reading it, they give him another book. Next Mordecai tells him about George Washington and Rigby shows the same picture from before. Out of instinct, Party Horse kicks it again. Then Party Horse reads about The Boston Tea Party, George Washington crossing to New Jersey, the Indians, the Statue of Liberty, the first trip to the moon in the 60's, Rosie the Riveter, the Heimlich blimp crashing, the Gothic painting, sailors coming home from WWII, the Dwight D. Eisenhower election, the Vietnam war, and Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address. Finally Party Horse closes the book and Mordecai and Rigby pat his back and nod. Lastly, Mount Rushmore is shown with Party Horse, Mordecai, Rigby, and Abraham Lincoln. Scene then cuts to the Parkside Lux Ballroom. Party Horse is sitting at a desk and Principal Party Horse gives him his test)''

Principal Party Horse: The U.S. History test consists of one hundred multiple choice questions. Fill in each circle completely with a number two pencil. You have one hour, and since I expect you to fail, I'm going to make an example of you, (a camera is seen, scene cuts to the classroom at Party Horse Planet. There is a room full of Party Horses watching) so all the Party Horses back home will see what happens when you party without a proper grasp of U.S. History ''(a different Party Horse is seen taking Party Horse 42699's spot. Scene is back at Parkside Lux). ''Good luck, Party Horse. The fate of this Earth rests in your hooves. (walks away and sits at a table. Party Horse looks nervously at the test. Principal Party Horse sets a timer) Begin!

Party Horse 42699: (begins the test, starts to fill out the scantron sheet, question by question. He nods at some of them)

Rigby: Hmm, hmm! He's got this. (At that moment, Benson shows up)

Benson: (frustrated) What's going on here? Did you finish filling the pothole? Why is there a horse taking a tes-MPH! (Mordecai puts his wing over Benson's mouth to shut him up. Then, he takes it of and explains the situation)

Mordecai: Look Benson, I know we normally don't have very good excuses for why we don't do stuff, but we definitely have a good one this time. (points at Party Horse) That horse right there, (stops pointing) fell out of the sky and has to pass a U.S. History test or the whole Earth is gonna explode.

Benson: WHAT?!

Principal Party Horse: SHH! Test taking IN PROGRESS! (some music starts to play and a small montage takes place. Party Horse fills in question after question, until the graphite on his pencil snaps)

Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson: *GASP*

Principal Party Horse: OOOoooh, looks like you've been lead astray. HAHAHAHA!

Party Horse 42699: (looks down, feeling defeated)

Principal Party Horse: (watches Party Horse, has hoof on the button on the detonator) hehehehe.....

Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson: (panicking) uuuuhhh, UUUUHHHHHH, UUUUUHHHH!!!!!

Rigby: (notices a pencil sharpener on the wall across the room) Look! (he starts to run towards it, but Principal Party Horse blocks his way)

Principal Party Horse: *NEIGH* (Rigby runs around him and pulls the sharpener out of the wall, making a hole in the wall)

Benson: (angry) Aw come on! I JUST put that up!! (Rigby tries to run back, but Principal Party Horse is running towards him)

Rigby: PARTY HORSE, CATCH! (he throws it towards Party Horse and over Principal Party Horse)

Principal Party Horse: (in slow motion) NOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT PARTY HORSE TO SUCCEEEEED! (Party Horse catches it)

Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson: *happy gasp*

Principal Party Horse: GRRRRR!

Party Horse 42699: (begins to sharpen his pencil, then finishes the last couple of questions. The timer rings)

Principal Party Horse: Pencils down!...Well, well, well, you're friends may have lead a horse do a U.S. History test, but let's see if they made him think. Now, give me that test.

Party Horse 42699: (gets up and walks the test over to Principal Party Horse. Before giving it to him however, Party Horse talks to him) Principal Party Horse, I may have failed this test, but if I've learned one thing, it's that partying is an important part of U.S. History.

Principal Party Horse: (raises eyebrow) Go on...

Party Horse 42699: (patriotic music starts to play) Well, sir, it's a known fact that the biggest events in U.S. History were all about parties. The Boston Tea Party, the Two Party System, the other stuff that America has with parties. Think about it, man! Look, I know I haven't been the best student, in the past, and you've been following me for a long time, and you've blown up a lot of planets because of me. But I'm done running away from my problems. (Scene shows Mordecai, Rigby and Benson) Don't blame these guys for the stuff I did. They did their best to help me and it's not their fault that I am a non stop partying machine. That's on me! It's time I take responsibility for my actions, so please, no matter how I do on this test, promise me, you won't blow up the Earth.

Principal Party Horse: (slowly claps) (patriotic music then stops) Responsibility! I've been waiting a long time to hear you say that, Party Horse. It's settled then. I promise not to blow up the Earth, no matter how you did on this test.

Party Horse 42699: (smiles and hands the test over)

Principal Party Horse: Alright, I'll just take a look here and-(it's then revealed that Party Horse drew a picture of Principal Party Horse looking dumb and filled out the bubbles to spell out "Jerk Horse" instead of actually taking the test) (frustrated) WHAT?!

Mordecai and Rigby: Hahahahaha!

Mordecai: (mocking voice) Jerkhorse!

Party Horse 42699: PSYCH! No one's EVER gonna stop this Party Horse! (does some flips and dances) Nts, nts, nts, nts, AH, AH, nts, nts, nts, nts! (moonwalks to the door)

Other Party Horses: (cheering) 4-2-6-9-9! 4-2-6-9-9!

Party Horse 42699: (continues to moonwalk all the way to his spacecraft) (almost inaudible) Ah, ah, I'm like the top, of...(backflips into spacecraft) HUP! (before closing the craft, he blows a party whistle) Party Horse, AAAAAAOOUUUUUUUTT! (his spacecraft then leaves)

Principal Party Horse: NOOOOOOO, PARTY HORSE! I never should've promised that I wouldn't blow up the Earth regardless of the outcome of YOOOOOUUUUR TEESSSTTT! (he runs to his spacecraft and follows Party Horse. Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson stand at the entrance of the doorway for a moment)

Benson: Just please fill up the pothole.

(End of "Party Horse")