Hot, Bothered And Bedeviled

HOT, BOTHERED AND BEDEVILED --- Story: TOM RUEGGER Written By: JOHN P. McCANN Director: RUSTY MILLS Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA {Arabian type music} SADDAM: People of Iraq......ahhhhhh! [Drops into Hell] CHORUS You plunge into the fire and it's really hot! GIRLS: You have to stay forever whether you like it or not. Where the torment never ends; You've got fiery brimstone and demons for friends. You're in Hades now, for eternity -- Hope you're not too choosy 'bout your company! SATAN: [Clapping] I so love a musical number. Fetch me an insurance salesman. I want to torment someone. WAKKO: We're He-e-ere! {Night On Bald Mountain?} YAKKO: I hate to tell you this Wakko, but, @@@h -- I don't think this is      Six Flags Over Flushing. SATAN: On second thought, forget the insurance salesman, those three will do quite nicely. YAKKO: Ah, this Thomas Brothers map is ridiculous! You see, we should have made a left at Cucamonga and a right in Azusa! SATAN: I am Satan! DOT:  We're trying to figure something out here. Could you be a doll and hold that thought? SATAN: Sorry. DOT:  Later, I'm going to give you some makeup tips. YAKKO: An-n-nd another left at Roger Ebert's House of Pudding... SATAN: ROOOOOAR! YAKKO: Some people always have to be the center of attention. SATAN: Little fools! I am Beelze-bub! Lucifer! The Reaper Of Souls! The Really Angry One! I AM SATAN! [Evil laughter] DOT:  So that's nothing. I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the THIRD! [Evil laughter] Just a little thing I do. SATAN: You blundering dolts! Don't you realize you've entered the fiery realm of Hades? WAKKO: Hades! [Runs and gets a snowball] Boy! They were right. It didn't have a chance. SATAN: Silence! And now prepare to suffer indescribable torment! YAKKO: Another Bob Hope special? {Oh, Where, Oh, Where Has My Little Dog Gone?} SATAN: Worse! Behold -- Cerberus, the hound of Hades! Cerebus, my pet, toss these fools into the Lake of Fire, but slowly. I want to watch them wiggle in agony. YAKKO: How 'bout if we just wiggle here? Y,W,D: Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle! give or take a wiggle SATAN: Cease this at once! Cerberus, my pet, throw them in! DOT:  Wanna meet my pet? CERBY: Ai-ai-ai-..... {Oh, Where, Oh, Where Has My Little Dog Gone?} YAKKO: Hey, does George Hamilton know your tan's better than his? SATAN: Silence! I don't want to hear another peep from you! Y,W,D: Peep peep peep peep peep peep peep peep! SATAN: Stop peeping! Y,W,D: Peep peep peep peep peep peep peep peep peep peep!!! SATAN: Oooh!...Beyond these doors is an agony worse than all others! You will remain in here for eterenty listening to ...      whiny protest songs from the 60's! PROTEST SINGER:  Oh, I hate the government More than you hate me                The government stole my goldfish And unplugged my TV! Y,W,D: AUUUGH! SATAN: Enjoy. {Skip To My Lou} SATAN: You dare mock the Prince of Darkness? DOT:  Prince? Where? He's dreamy...not! [Satan grows] WAKKO: I can do that too! Look at me, I'm a giraffe! SATAN: Ha! Silly mortal! I can grow taller than you! WAKKO: Bet you can't.... [Satan is stuck in the cavern roof] WAKKO: You win. SATAN: Ugh. Blasted horns. I knew I should have gotten them trimmed. YAKKO: Listen. If you're gonna hang around here all day, we -- we're      gonna just take off. SATAN: I haven't had a day like this in some time. {Warners' Theme} SATAN: Halt, you miserable mortals! YAKKO: Great trick. WAKKO: Yeah. Faboo! Alright! Do you know Sigfried and Roy? DOT:  Do an impression. YAKKO: Come on. Do one! Do an impression! DOT:  Yeah! SATAN: I'm really not very good at impressions.... WAKKO: Ah, come on! \_ [together] DOT:  Come on. just a couple, go ahead! / SATAN: D'okay. Just a few. Here's Curly Howard on a visit to Wisconsin. "Moe, Larry, cheese! Moe, Larry, cheese!" Curly Howard of the Three Stooges, ladies and gentlemen. My next rendering... -- NO!      {Row, Row, Row Your Boat} SATAN: Get off that boat! It goes to Purgatory! {California, Here We Come} Y,W,D: Purgatory, here we come So long Hades and devil scum YAKKO: Where fires will spire into the night... W & D: Where boulders will smolder... Y,W,D: ...sizzling bright! YAKKO: The afterlife's cruel politics CHARON:Sends us on the river Styx YAKKO: At our feet flames take their licks, ALL:  Oh, Purgatory, here we come! YAKKO: Well, I guess the worst of it is behind us. {Saint Saens Symphony No. 3} SATAN: Now foolish mortals, you will know the awesome fury and power of my revenge. {Piano Sonata No.2 by Chopin} Prepare yourselves for an eternity of terror! {Star Trek: TOS theme} YAKKO: Wakko, anything in your Gag Bag that can handle this? WAKKO: No, Yakko. YAKKO: Dot, comments, analysis. DOT:  Nothing Yakko. YAKKO: Bones? BONES: Darn it, Yakko -- I'm a doctor not a magician! YAKKO: Well. It looks like it's up to me. Freeze Frame! SATAN: Yeeeaghhh! You've frozen everything! Do you have any idea how long it takes to get the pilot lit? Get out! [Yakko, Wakko, and Dot are kicked to heaven screaming] WAKKO: Darn, this isn't Six Flags Over Flushing either. ST. PETER: I am Saint Pet-- DOT: Would you be a doll and hold that thought?