Look at the Princess

Part 1 (A Kiss is But a Kiss)
The episode opens in the cockpit of John's module, the Farscape 1. Aeryn is sitting at the controls giving John yet another flying lesson. He's seated just behind her looking rather bored...

Aeryn: You pull into the roll. It's counter-intuitive at first, but it radically increases your distance from the enemy.

John: Aeryn, my module is a research craft. It's not built for hairpin maneuvers.

Aeryn: (mildly annoyed) Would you like - to learn how to do this, or are you content to continually display your ineptitude?

John: (mildly annoyed back) My ineptitude? You mean my improvisation - the kind that bails your sorry military - (suddenly he laughs a little as he nose brushes her hair in the close confines of the cockpit) - I'm sorry, I'm sorry - but what is that smell?

Aeryn: Wot?

John: (as he takes a more deliberate whiff) It's your hair - It smells.

Aeryn: (with an ever-so-slight note of satisfaction in her voice) Zhaan gave me something.

John: All right. It smells good... I like it.

Aeryn: (turning her face toward him) Well it's not for you to like.

John: Oh. Then what's it for?

Aeryn: For me to like.

John: You don't like that I like it?

Aeryn: Personal indulgences can fracture a small crew.

John: I would never tell them... that you scented your hair.

Aeryn: (she smiles and their lips meet, but as the kiss threatens to become more passionate she suddenly pulls away from him and hits the canopy release button) No! (the canopy flies open and she bails out onto the floor of the maintenance bay and starts to storm away from the module as John scrambles after her)

John: Aeryn? Aeryn - no!

Aeryn: No! NO! I will not be a slave to your hormones!

John: My hormones? Hey, I was lips - you were tongue! (he catches up to her and traps her against the wall between his arms, forcing her to look at him) Why did you do your hair?

Aeryn: To see if you'd notice.

John: (annoyed and waiting for her to continue) Standing - at - attention! (Chiana, who is doing something nearby looks up curiously at them)

Aeryn: (coldly) Well I'll let Zhaan know that you find her oils pleasing.

John: It's you I find - pleasing. (Aeryn ducks under his arm and walks away without another word leaving John alone with his module and Chiana)

Chiana: You want some advice?

John: (as he stalks back to the module and begins tinkering) Not particularly.

Chiana: (teasing) Makes me want to give it to you even more. (then, more seriously as she approaches him) Hey! There's too much pressure. She's scared of the future. So why not just live in the moment?

John: (surly) You come up with that one yourself?

Chiana: (seductively, as she comes in close over his shoulder) Go fast with the body - slow with the soul. Maybe you should find someone like that.

Pilot: (interrupting them via comm) Commander Crichton, Chiana. Please join the others in the Command at once.

(soon after - cut to the Command as D'Argo enters with Chiana and John. Aeryn, Rygel and Zhaan are already there. Pilot is present via clamshell viewer)

D'Argo: Okay Pilot. They're here. Now tell us - why have we stopped moving?

Pilot: (cut to him in his Den as he speaks) Are you familiar with automated Peacekeeper satellite weaponry?

Aeryn: Self-tracking pulse cannons.

Pilot: We're locked in a cross-targeted helix.

John: Pilot, give us immediate starburst!

Pilot: Impossible. The initiation of an energy surge will result in our destruction.

D'Argo: Is it Scorpius? Do you think they've found us?

Pilot: There are no vessels anywhere near.

Rygel: Then how the frell did they get here?

Pilot: Perhaps from the inhabited star systems on Moya’s sense horizon. These cannons appear to be their first line of defense.

Zhaan: (gasping with alarm) Peacekeeper settlements this far into the uncharted territories? Goddess help us!

Chiana: We gotta do something! (Zhaan begins a prayer chant and Chiana quickly qualifies that-) Something useful!

Pilot: (hesitantly) A representative of the inhabited system has been signaling us.

Rygel: By the yotz! Run! Fight! Surrender! Pick one!

Pilot: (apologetically, as ships approach Moya from alongside the orbiting canon) Moya chooses surrender. Resistance by her means... death.

(cut to soon after as Rygel begins a surrender speech and an image of the representative of the alien planetary system, Tyno, appears on the main view screen)

Rygel: I am-

John: (grabbing Rygel's hoverchair and pushing him back) Oh nononono WAY Jose! You keep your mouth shut!

Rygel: But I am our best negotiator!

John: (as he takes Rygel in a headlock and pinches his mouth shut) Our best self-serving-to-hell-with-anyone-else-iator! Just you shut up!

Tyno: (he is a young attractive man with dark hair in a Romanesque cut whose appearance is completely Sebacean - i.e. - human) Our scan reveals you indeed have no large weaponry or hidden cargo.

Aeryn: Yes, and despite this ships Peacekeeper history, we are in no way affiliated with them.

Zhaan: We are, as stated, Councilor Tyno, peaceful.

Tyno: And as such we now release you to travel as you will.

Chiana: (apparently the scan took awhile) You're not gonna shoot? Well. That was a productive four arns. (she leaves, seeming inexplicably disgusted by the peaceful conclusion of the confrontation)

D'Argo: May we approach your worlds? We are prepared to pay for provisions.

Tyno: I'm afraid that's impossible during coronation time. (John yelps with pain as Rygel, excited by the idea of a coronation - takes a bite of him and breaks free to approach the view screen)

Rygel: Coronation time? I am Dominar Rygel the XVI of the Hynerian Empire! (Zhaan heaves a heavy sigh - they were so close to getting away ...) Would you turn away royalty bearing gifts for your new sovereign?

Tyno: Escaped prisoners bearing gifts?

Rygel: Hear me Councilor Tyno! Your hatred of the Peacekeepers can never approach ours. Fate has conspired to forge this alliance. (John eyes Rygel)

Tyno: The Royal Planet will receive you. (Rygel huffs with satisfaction) Understand, as festivities approach, we are under strict security. Weapons of any kind will result in incarceration. (he signs off)

Rygel: Was I right?

John: (as he turns to leave) Yah. I guess so.

Rygel: (insistent) Was - I - right?

John: (no point in arguing now) Yes Rygel. You were right.

Rygel: Don't ever forget it.

(soon after - cut to John walking along one of Moya’s corridors. Aeryn approaches from the opposite direction and he steps into her path to stop her, she pushes him aside and continues on without a word John turns to follow her)

John: Aeryn - I wanna talk.

Aeryn: I wanna talk less!

John: We tried that. It leads to kissing.

Aeryn: (she groans wearily and turns back towards him) Ugh!

John: That's a joke. It's to relieve the tension.

Aeryn: Wasn't funny. Just give me some space John.

John: Fine. Have the whole universe. (he turns away and strides towards Chiana's quarters which are nearby. The door is shut and he calls to her-) Chiana!

Chiana: (her breathless voice is heard from behind the door) Yeah!

John: (as Aeryn watches) Yeah I'm going down to the planet - you wanna hang?

Chiana: (breathing heavily from behind the door) Yeah...

Aeryn: (she snorts with amusement and mutters to herself-) That's good. (and she turns and walks away)

John: (still calling through the door) Cool, can I come in? (he hits the door release and strides in as Chiana, who is nekkid and on top of D'Argo lets loose with a gasping scream of pleasure which D'Argo joins. They writhe and howl in ecstasy, ignoring John as he takes in the scene and hurriedly tries to back out without looking at them) WHOA-HO-HO! BAD TIME! G-good time! SORRY - uh - WRONG TIME!

(cut to later - D'Argo, breathless with excitement, accosts John in the corridors of Moya)

D'Argo: (in a low, urgent tone) John, my life has been one crushing disappointment after the next. But with this girl, I have managed to find moments of pleasure. (he pauses and they both watch as Aeryn and Chiana, decked out in their best shore leave outfits, pass by on their way to the transport pod) Don't blow it for me!

John: Never. It's cool. I'm happy for you.

D'Argo: Good. (he pats John absentmindedly on the shoulder and follows the women)

John: All right.

D'Argo: Good.

John: Good. (muttering to himself as he follows D'Argo) How come I'm always last to know?

And with that the scene shifts to a view of one of Moya’s pods dropping away from her and arcing towards an Earth-like planet. It soon joins a flotilla of ships passing over the Royal City which sprawls under a yellowish sky flecked by grey clouds. The Royal Palace itself is a vast pyramid-like structure, its lines softened by curves like those of a pagoda. The scene shifts again to a palace reception. Our intrepid crew has debarked from the pod and are mingling with the locals. The Sebaceans of the Breakaway Colonies, as this planet and its demesnes are called, are dressed in formal white clothing and of course all "human" in appearance. There are trays placed around the room which bear small glass vials containing a bit of liquid. The guests may take a vial and using the tiny glass stopper that seals each one, they place a drop of the liquid on their tongue and then offer a second drop from the vial to a person of the opposite sex. The couple then kiss, and if the taste of the liquid kiss is right, they may pair off. Rygel maneuvers his hoverchair through the crowd as he observes this social ritual and chuckles with a mixture of derision and satisfaction as he approaches Aeryn.

Rygel: So these are the fabled Breakaway Colonies!

Aeryn: When they declared independence and fled from our home systems no one gave them a chance of surviving.

Rygel: And yet here they are! Still hating the Peacekeepers 1900 cycles later!

Aeryn: And every Peacekeeper attempt since then to forge coalition has failed.

Rygel: I'd say they enjoy their freedoms far too much Aeryn.

Aeryn: (chuckling a little herself as she takes a drink of some local beverage) Yeah.

Rygel: (with approval as he sails off) And why not?

John: (as he pulls up behind Aeryn) Buy you a drink for a few words.

Aeryn: You mean now that Chiana's occupied? Made a run at Zhaan yet?

John: Oh, that is not fair! (he steps back from Aeryn a bit and an attractive local woman bops up to him with a vial and insinuates herself between them)

Woman: Hi!

John: (flustered) Hi. (the woman puts a drop of liquid onto her tongue and then offers John a drop) Oh, nononono - I stopped raving years ago.

Woman: (smiling) It doesn't hurt you. It's just for the kiss. (he seems to have no choice other than to accept the drop, and then briefly touches tongues with the woman)

John: (smacking his lips as he pulls back) There's no taste. Kinda like an ol- (but the woman takes his head and brings her lips to his for a longer, slower and deeper kiss which Aeryn eyes with annoyance as she downs her drink in one savage gulp)

Woman: (she breaks the kiss and looks at John for only a second before walking away) Sorry.

Aeryn: (stepping close to John) It's great you know - it's a whole world designed for your rutting instincts! (but at that moment a man, Dregon, approaches and, pushing himself between Aeryn and John, offers HER a drop from his vial. This only seems to heighten Aeryn's annoyance) NO! Nonononono! Try him - (pointing at John) - he seems to love kissing! (she stalks off and Dregon turns amiably toward John)

John: Ho-no! No. (he quickly turns away and into another woman with a vial standing right behind him, This time he readily accepts her drop and indulges in a long, deep kiss with her. When they part she sighs with mild disappointment and moves off but John is upbeat) I am never leaving this world! (he bops off cheerily amid the dancing, searching crowd and the scene shifts upwards to a beautiful woman standing on a balcony above the crowd and observing the goings-on, her name is Jena. With her are her fiancée, Prince Clavor and an alien emissary from the Scarran Empire, Cargn. Cargn is a creature who is both exotic and vicious in appearance. He is the size of a very large man with a thick, grotesquely elongated neck which thrusts his vaguely reptilian face far forward. His hair is short and mane-like. The effect is as of some nightmarish horse-headed creature and his voice is deep and gravelly)

Jena: Clavor, my sweet, there's a Sebacean down here your sister hasn't kissed yet.

Cargn: (annoyed) You said the borders were closed! No new visitors!

Prince Clavor: And you said that it wouldn't matter. That my sister could never assume the throne, no matter how many suitors they bring in.

Cargn: Her chemical compatibility is irrevocably altered. You will be kinggg...

(the scene shifts back down to the celebration where John is kissing it up with yet another woman as Rygel chats with Tyno, who is also studying John)

Tyno: Is this Crichton intelligent?

Rygel: Surprisingly. Despite his appearance. (but Rygel isn’t interested in talking about John) I find it strange, Councilor Tyno, that you're in coronation time, and have yet to identify your crown successor.

Tyno: As firstborn, it was always intended for Princess Katralla. But by law unless she can find a compatible mate - the kingdom will fall to her younger brother.

(the scene shifts back to the balcony where the conversation about Katralla continues between Clavor and Cargn who are sitting next to each other while Jena watches the party below)

Prince Clavor: (to Cargn, betraying his casual contempt for the huge Scarran-) She's a slave to our mother. I'm the only one who recognizes the Scarran Imperium - even if you are the best they could send. (the Scarran emits a low growl)

Jena: Now, now, you two! (she comes and sits down between them and says in a tone that should be teasing, but isn't-) Well if you're not going to be king, Clavor, I'm not going to marry you.

(cut back to Moya where Zhaan sits alone on the quiet ship, engaged in some arcane activity of her own. Pilot's visage appears on a clamshell viewer)

Pilot: Excuse me Zhaan. Why didn't you visit the Royal Planet with the others?

Zhaan: My solitude is so important to me Pilot. I barely have enough time to pursue the tenets of my priesthood as it is.

Pilot: Being presumptuous, I have opened all the doors on the Chamber on this tier. (Zhaan looks around her as the sound of doors opening echo around her) Moya and I are - pleased - you have once again chosen to stay with us.

Zhaan bows her head, as if modestly pleased and honored. She ceases what she is doing and makes a ritual stroking motion over her face with her hands before lifting her chin and opening her mouth slightly. She sings a high, clear, sustained note. In his Den Pilot listens and then his mouth opens slightly open as if he is picking up the note with her. The sound flows seamlessly through Moya’s empty corridors and it is as if she herself is singing.

(cut back to the ball on the Royal Planet where the white-clad locals continue to dance to an artfully sophisticated drumbeat and pair off. Chiana and D'Argo are sitting together in the middle of it all, Chiana has a vial which she offers with slightly stoned glee to him)

Chiana: A few drops from these little vials, and we can see if our- if our DNA is compatible for children.

D'Argo: No. No, no - I don't-

Chiana: Come on! What have we got to lose?

D'Argo: (like a big kid) I don't wannu! (then more thoughtfully) Our innocence - that's what we've got to lose. (but Chiana persists and manages to get a drop onto both their tongues and they take a long taste of each other - which ends with them disengaging with looks on their faces that suggest the taste was not pleasant, D'Argo takes a deep breath, obviously distressed)

Chiana: (she takes his face in her hands and moves quickly to comfort him) Hey - Hey - It's just a game for us D'Argo. Okay? We don't play by the rules they do.

D'Argo: The truth is we're not compatible.

Chiana: (coaxing) Only our DNA. (she takes one of his head tentacles and licks it, D'Argo gasps dreamily) Not the parts that make us feel pleasure... (they kiss again, this time without the drops from the vials)

(the scene shifts to Aeryn and Rygel who have spotted Cargn watching them from above and are eyeing him warily back. The Scarrans are well-known in the galaxy - and not for anything good...)

Rygel: Why is he watching us so intently?

Aeryn: When was the last time you saw a Scarran on a diplomatic mission?

Rygel: What do you think he wants? Besides killing Peacekeepers, I mean.

Aeryn: The same thing my former superiors wanted - a covenant with this kingdom. (a dashing fellow in a white long-sleeved pirate shirt open to his navel pauses next to Aeryn and offers her his vial. she snaps it out of his hand and orders him off) Go away. Go! (he eyes this obvious party-pooper with a curious expression before moving on. As he leaves though a second guy, lanky and a bit goofy-looking, with a mass of fuzzy hair gives her a come-hither grin and waves his vial at her from a few feet away, She gives him a big, very facetious grin and waves the vial she took from the swashbuckler back at him before turning to Rygel and offering it to him)

Rygel: Have you lost your mind?

Aeryn: Do it! (she places a drop from the vial on her tongue and one on Rygel's and then leans forward and kisses Rygel a big one on the mouth as he struggles and the fuzzy-haired guy watches incredulously. Aeryn releases Rygel and looks up at the guy, who's only slightly less revolted than we are - and announces with a big insincere grin-) Sweet! I'm so pleased!

Rygel: (hastily playing along) Me too! How unexpected!

Fuzzy-haired Guy: (with a strained smile) I wish you both the very best of... fortune. (he quickly moves off)

Aeryn: Thank you! (and as soon as he's gone she and Rygel yelp and spit violently in very mutual revulsion...)

(cut back to Moya where Zhaan is drifting through the corridors in a meditative state as DRDs chirp at her feet. The high clear note she began continues to fill Moya - but suddenly Pilot's urgent tone breaks the spell-)

Pilot: Zhaan! Zhaan!

Zhaan: (startling from her trance) Pilot, are you calling me?

Pilot: (sounding sick) It's Scorpius! Scorpius has found us!

Zhaan: (with a look of pure dread she sprints to the Command and readdresses Pilot from there) Is the command carrier any closer Pilot?

Pilot: Still held in abeyance at the satellite cannon perimeter.

Zhaan: Can they spot our orbit yet?

Pilot: Confirmed. Moya senses the Peacekeeper scan.

Zhaan: Have we got time to retrieve Crichton and the others?

Pilot: No.

Zhaan: What if we let them see us and then-

Pilot: -starburst. Scorpius may think we're all aboard and pursue. (and with that he decision to flee and attempt to draw Scorpius off is made as Pilot initiates starburst)

Zhaan: (softly) Goddess please send us guidance. Make this the right thing to do. (and Moya is gone, leaving Aeryn, Chiana, D'Argo, John and Rygel on the Royal Planet, unaware of the impending danger)

(cut back to the Royal Planet where the party continues, Our heroes have about had enough of honoring the alien royalty and are ready to leave - but seem to be having some trouble locating Moya... John approaches Rygel)

John: Where are D'Argo and Chiana?

Rygel: (slurring) Alternately exchanging body fluids and checking a tracking station to locate Moya’s orbit.

John: (it's hard to guess what he finds more annoying, Chiana and D'Argo's infatuation or the difficulty locating Moya) Doesn't that just figure? Look, let's get that drink out of your hand. I'm gonna sober you up and get you out of here. (as John struggles with the recalcitrant Hynerian Tyno approaches him form behind)

Tyno: Excuse me -

John: (preoccupied with Rygel) Yeah in a second, buddy-

Tyno: (insistent) Were you once a Peacekeeper?

John: (that gets John's attention - he straightens and turns to face Tyno) No. Oh - it's Councilor Tyno, right? Look, we've got a little problem - our ship-

Tyno: (but Tyno's got problems too and he cuts John off) Your friends have been given access to our space command to find your ship. But for now, if you don't mind - (he motions for John to turn around and when John does, he finds himself face-to-face with Princess Katralla. She is an attractive, round-faced woman with regal bearing and she holds a vial)

John: (smiling wearily) Look, I'm a little partied out, so if you could - (but he catches the look of solemn desperation on her face as she awaits his consent with her vial) - maybe...

Princess Katralla: (with quiet dignity) Please.

John: (after along pause during which he takes in her gentle sorrow) Okay. (she ritualistically places a drop from the vial on her tongue and then another onto his. they touch lips and start back as if in surprise, but then lean in for a long, slow kiss there in the middle of the ball. Rygel gasps with a little awe at the clear sensuality and Tyno looks on tensely. John and Katralla part - she has a joyful, slightly bucktoothed smile on her face now as she looks at him. John also seems happy and a little excited as he says with wonder-) It's... sweet. It's sweet. It's kinda like molasses.

Tyno: (as he turns slowly away the expression on his face is one of quiet pain) Guards! (around them the music and dancing and paring off stops as the crowd clears a space around John and Katralla to stare in amazement. Murmurs of "Look!" ,"It's molasses!", "Oh!" and "She's smiling!" ripple through the room)

John: (he mutters to himself as he looks around, apprehensive at finding himself the sudden center of attention) Uh-oh...

(the scene shifts to the balcony where Cargn, Clavor and Jena have witnessed the miraculous match as well. Clavor is furious and starts angrily towards the crowd and his sister, Katralla)

Prince Clavor: It cannot be!

Cargn: (he catches the Sebacean and restrains him) No Clavor!

Prince Clavor: (struggling as Cargn pushes him to the rear of the balcony, out of sight) Take your claws of me! My sister is not supposed to be compatible with another Sebacean!

Cargn: (wisely, as he continues to restrain the impetuous Prince) And as far as we know, she isn't. Do not make a spectacle Your Highness!

Prince Clavor: (his voice harsh with rage) The kiss was sweet! They're compatible!

(the scene shifts back to John, Katralla and Tyno on the ballroom floor as the guards come)

John: What the hell's going on?

Tyno: For your protection.

(the scene shifts back to Cargn, Clavor and Jena on the balcony, Jena again intercedes between the two males and confronts Cargn)

Jena: What if their DNA is cohesive?

Cargn: (he turns away from them to look out over the ballroom as he says-) Then this pawn, whoever he is, must die tragically within a solar day. (and as he exhales with menacing determination, the air shimmers with the intense heat of his breath)

(cut to soon afterward. John is being escorted by Tyno and a contingent of guards through pale Japanesque corridors of the Royal Palace)

John: I understand everything you're almost saying, except - am I under arrest?

Tyno: Absolutely not.

John: Good. (and with that he abruptly turns to go back the way they came, but his path is blocked by the two guards behind him. The little entourage stops and Tyno turns to him)

Tyno: (resigned) Please try to understand-

John: (facing Tyno) I understand! You asked me to kiss that chick!

Tyno: You kissed our Princess.

John: Yeah, and now we're compatible? Well what the hell does that mean?

Tyno: You're the only male we've found who might be able to provide her with healthy children.

John: (quietly incredulous) You want a donation to the sperm bank?

Tyno: (he rolls his head in frustration) I want you to consider marrying her.

John: (he steps back and takes a long moment to process this) You would just have to be on this side of my life to understand how frelling insane that is.

Tyno: (intensely) She will be our next Empress. You will be Regent. (he turns to continue down the hall and John follows) Others would die for this chance!

John: See? Die! There's the problem - there's a die part!

Tyno: All I ask is that you consider this blessing that's been laid before you. (as he speaks he leads John and the guards into a room where he stops short, as if surprised, to find Clavor. With the Prince is an alien servant woman named ro-NA. She is human in shape but her skin is mottled, dark blueish-green in color. She wears to tight cap on her head and a white tunic that makes her look pathetic as she fusses with a red stole which she is adjusting on Clavor's shoulders)

Prince Clavor: (in a bored, imperious tone) Blessing, Councilor Tyno? When the actual truth of power is so much closer to curse. (ro-NA plucks at the stole and Clavor turns to her with annoyance) What? (she cringes away and he returns his attention to John and Tyno but before he can speak ro-NA starts again and again he turns back to her and hisses-) Stop it! Before I speak with them, not during! (she shrinks away and he turns back to John and Tyno) Ignorant creature.

Tyno: (with clear distaste for the Prince) John Crichton, Prince Clavor. Our second in line to the Throne.

Prince Clavor: (inclining his head slightly with great lese majeste) First among my people. (John flashes the "peace" sign at the Prince from where he's standing behind Tyno) You may take the guards and leave us now Tyno.

Tyno: (stepping up to the Prince) My instructions are otherwise. This potential suitor to the throne is to remain under protective custody at all times.

Prince Clavor: (dangerously) And whose order dares to countermand mine?

Tyno: The Empress. Your Mother. (the two men face off for a moment before Clavor acknowledges the supremacy of his mothers order with a reluctant nod and makes to leave)

Prince Clavor: (pausing by John on his way out) I will speak with you - Later. (he exits with ro-NA scuttling close behind)

John: (rolling his head as he paces past Tyno into the room) There's always one... In every family.

Tyno: If Princess Katralla fails to wed by the anniversary of her birth, the throne goes to Prince Clavor.

John: Well when's the expiry date?

Tyno: A matter of solar days.

John: Is this my cell?

Tyno: Your room, yes. (and without a word John flops down onto the bed, arms thrown out, legs crossed, and stares at the ceiling)

(cut to later, back at the reception hall. The white- clad, mating locals seem to have mostly cleared out and the atmosphere is more like a drowsy late-night lounge now. Aeryn strides in and approaches Chiana and D'Argo who are sitting on a sofa, The Luxan looks exhausted and is laying with his head on Chiana's lap)

Aeryn: Where have you two been?

D'Argo: We've been in the space command center all night. Moya is no longer in orbit around this planet.

Aeryn: And flight control confirm that they didn't crash, so Zhaan and Pilot probably just-

Chiana: (with certainty) -starburst away and abandoned us.

Aeryn: If we wanted to jump to conclusions.

Chiana: You know Crichton's in custody?

Aeryn: What?

Chiana: Mm-hm. He kissed some Princess and now they won't let him go.

Aeryn: Of all the stupid-

Chiana: (she jumps to her feet to interrupt Aeryn face to face and D'Argo yelps as his head loses its pillow and plops abruptly onto the sofa) You want me to jump to another conclusion? We probably wouldn't be in this dren if it wasn't for you!

Aeryn: Me?

Chiana: Yeah! If you hadn't rejected him!

Aeryn: It wasn't my door he was last seen sniffing under.

Chiana: Some women consider that a compliment.

Aeryn: Some women have to.

D'Argo: (sitting up with some effort) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! As entertaining as this is at the moment, it's getting us nowhere. Rygel's with Crichton. When he comes back, we'll have more information. As far as Moya goes - I think we should just wait.

Aeryn: (she contemplates his suggestion for a split second) No. (and with that she grabs Chiana's arm and begins to drag her off) You're coming with me and you're going to show me where they're keeping Crichton.

Chiana: We already tried! They won't let you see him!

Aeryn: Shut up Chiana! (they exit, leaving D'Argo looking after them with a bemused expression. But as soon as they’re out of sight, a familiar voice addresses him from behind)

Scorpius: Ka D'Argo is it? I don't believe we've had the pleasure. (D'Argo looks over his shoulder and seeing the black-clad half-Scarran behind him, leaps to his feet and away with an alarmed hiss, then stands a few paces from Scorpius, eyeing him warily and brandishing a drinking glass as a weapon, Scorpius coolly circles the sofa and takes a seat upon it) I am totally unarmed. I bear you no ill will. Perhaps we should um - well, reorder - (he snaps his fingers to attract the attention of a servant) - and share a repast.

(the scene shifts to Cargn and Clavor who are watching the room from a concealed area with a 2-way mirror)

Cargn: (deeply suspicious) I knew there was more to it! Scorpiussss!

Prince Clavor: He doesn't look at all like a Peacekeeper.

Cargn: His father was Scarran - my race. His mother, Sebacean.

Prince Clavor: He knows these companions of Crichton.

Cargn: Crichton surely works for Scorpius. By marrying a spy to your sister, they gain the advantage with your dynasty - and block our advance.

Prince Clavor: (with sarcasm) Oh! Forgive my ignorance, Sagacious Teacher! I trusted you to make this work! Was that unwise of me?

Cargn: (impatient with the arrogant Prince) You will rule, not because you desire it Clavor, but because I do. (as he draws out the sound of the word 'do' he directs a dangerously hot breath at the Sebacean, who staggers back from him in fear and discomfort)

(later - cut to John's palace room, D'Argo and Rygel are with him. they seem to be in the middle of a debate)

D'Argo: This is Scorpius we're talking about!

John: Yes and it's my life D'Argo! Look, the Princess is nice. She's sweet. And it might be kinda fun to go shopping for the rest of my life, but I am not getting married! What's the word on Moya?

D'Argo: Nothing. And what difference does it make anyway? Scorpius has a full Command Carrier out there waiting for us - which is probably why Zhaan and Pilot have taken off.

Rygel: He's right, you know. The only place we're safe is in this palace.

John: I'm sorry. You're saying I should get married?!

Rygel: I would.

John: You're a polygamist!

D'Argo: John -

John: What?

D'Argo: Think it through. Scorpius has offered me a deal to turn you in.

John: What? Timeshare in his condo in hell?

D'Argo: He's gonna leave the rest of us alone, and he promises not to destroy your brain as long as you give him access to the wormhole technology in your brain.

John: And you said...?

D'Argo: (quite reasonably) That I'd talk to you about it.

John: That's it! (he turns away in disgust)

D'Argo: (frustrated) I was STALLING him John! Now, Rygel and I are in agreement about this, so listen up!

Rygel: (patiently) You increase our chances of figuring something out the longer you at least pretend to love this girl!

John: (agitated) LOVE? Love! Rygel, there is no love! I am the reverse King Arthur. I am the one who could put the sword into the stone! (Rygel makes a sound indicating no understanding of what John is yawping about)

D'Argo: (throwing his arms up) All right. So what should we do?

John: I DON'T CARE! I don't care what you guys do! I know what I am going to do - I'm going to tell the nice girl that I am not her ticket to the throne. (and he storms out of the room leaving the other two looking consternated)

(cut back to Moya. Pilot has apparently sealed himself in his Den and Zhaan pushes one of the entrances to it open and enters)

Zhaan: Pilot! Are you certain the Command Carrier is not behind us?

Pilot: (somewhat breathless) Positive. That was the shortest starburst Moya is capable of - practically an invitation for the Peacekeepers to follow.

Zhaan: Then Scorpius has not taken our bait.

Pilot: Perhaps he is already aware Crichton and the others are down on the planet.

Zhaan: If so, that means we have abandoned our friends.

Pilot: There was nothing we could have done had we stayed Zhaan.

Zhaan: Turn us around Pilot. Immediately.

Pilot: I will attempt to plot a course back. As you know, even a minor starburst invalidates all previous navigation points.

Zhaan: (snapping) Just do it!

Pilot: (reproachfully snapping back) Pa'u Zotoh! The decision to flee was a joint one. (Zhaan inclines her head in silent acknowledgment and leaves)

(cut back to the palace on the Royal Planet. John has run into Clavor while waiting to meet Katralla and is talking to him in a quiet palace atrium)

Prince Clavor: Normally this would be a time of great joy and celebration. But I must confess, I feel as if I -

John: (finishing the thought) As if you're not gonna be King 'cos I'm gonna marry your sister. Relax Ace - I'm not gonna be your brother-in-law.

Prince Clavor: Is this some sort of jest?

John: Jest? No. It's not a jest. On my planet, we don't marry people we don't love unless they're critically ill billionaires. No, just take it easy bro. As soon as my ship returns, I'm off this planet. You get to be king. Congratulations. (he rises and walks away from Clavor to meet Katralla who now enters the sunny room from its far end)

John: Princess Katralla, it's good to see you again.

Princess Katralla: I had given up hope of meeting a compatible Sebacean man.

John: Yes, I wanted to talk to you about that. Look, uh - I don't know how to say this so I'm just gonna - (but before he can finish the Empress enters the room. she is an attractive woman who looks very much like Katralla and is dressed in nearly identical white robes. A large blue stone at her throat and another on the bodice of her gown are the only signs of her imperial rank)

Empress Novia: Daughter.

Princess Katralla: (inclining her head in deference, and sounding a little surprised-) Mother!

Empress Novia: (as she strides past her daughter and circles John to inspect him) You must be John Crichton - (greeting him) - With delight.

John: (bowing his head respectfully) Empress.

Empress Novia: I anticipate sturdy grandchildren from you. Let us get to know one another. (she takes him by the arm and walks him away from Katralla, once out of earshot she asks quietly-) Have you proposed?

John: (taken aback at her forthrightness and coming back with a little of his own-) What? No. Nononono - I don't love your daughter.

Empress Novia: (unconcerned) How could you? You just met.

John: Why don't you let your son be King?

Empress Novia: He's a fool. He would betray our neutrality for the genuflect of peasants. And that breach would toll in hundreds of millions of lives.

John: Yeah. Starting with mine.

Empress Novia: (pleasant. but to the point) I have no purpose for you, other than to keep my empire stable. If we recognize the Scarrans, Peacekeepers attack. Pact with Peacekeepers, Scarrans invade. (as Clavor and Katralla stand nearby watching them talk the Empress stops and says with firmly-) You must wed Katralla.

John: Empress Novia, I understand your problems. But you need to understand, there's nothing you can say that's gonna make me marry your daughter. (she smiles at him without malice. But she isn't an Empress for nothing - and she gestures to someone behind John. He turns just in time to see Scorpius enter the atrium)

Scorpius: (as he enters and strides towards John he throws his arms wide as if he's going to give him a big hug and exclaims-) Oh! Hello Crichton! (John freezes and experiences a flashback to the Gammak Base and his horrific torture at the hands of Scorpius in the Aurora Chair. For a chaotic moment he is back in Chair screaming and Scorpius is murmuring "...something to remember me by..." But he snaps out of his terrible reverie as Scorpius does indeed engulf him in a hearty embrace, saying-) I have traveled a long, long way just to see you again!

John: (in a whisper both angry and frightened) I hate to say that you've wasted your time Scorpy, but you have.

Scorpius: You know that no matter what you think, the rift between us need not be terminal.

John: Go away, Scorpy. It's over. Find another girlfriend.

Scorpius: Now don't let her frighten you John, hm? (John is staring fixedly into space as Scorpius pats him companionably on the back) Now you make the correct decision. (John numbly watches him as he steps away and the Empress leans in lose and murmurs-)

Empress Novia: My daughter, or that abomination. Choose. (she steps away from John as well and goes to stand by Scorpius. John hesitates for only a second before walking stiffly over to Katralla)

Princess Katralla: (in a low tone) Bad?

John: (shaken) Enough.

Princess Katralla: She's strong and gets what she wants.

John: What about you?

Princess Katralla: Rarely.

John: So what do you want?

Princess Katralla: To be Empress. To have children. To keep the peace for my people.

John: Even if we're miserable for the rest of our lives?

Princess Katralla: I won't make you miserable. (she pauses and with an understanding that attests to her maturity and sensitivity, adds-) I'm sorry. (John steals a glance at the Empress and Scorpius who remain hovering on the opposite side of the room)

John: (taking a shaky breath) Princess Katralla - will you consent to marry me?

Princess Katralla: (smiling) Yes. (she kisses his cheek and then takes him in a close embrace. John looks deeply troubled as he catches the eye of Scorpius who is smiling at him as if he's just ever so pleased by everything...)

(cut to later. Aeryn and John walking in dim public spaces somewhere in the palace)

Aeryn: What do you mean you have no choice?

John: No choice. Rock. Me. Hard place.

Aeryn: Fight. Retreat. Remain silent.

John: Scorpius? The Empress?

Aeryn: You disappoint me Crichton.

John: You should lower your expectations.

Aeryn: Well at least the Princess is pretty.

John: Yeah. I guess so.

Aeryn: And wealthy.

John: I suppose so.

Aeryn: Think of all the power you'll have.

John: Yeah can't stop thinking about it. That and how I'm gonna get off this planet the way I got here - single and alive.

Aeryn: Well, I'll see what I can do. (and at that moment they are approached by Dregon, the cheery bloke they met back at the mating ball)

Dregon: Congratulations!

John: Sorry?

Dregon: Marrying our Princess! (he introduces himself) Dregon Carsinova - cousin to the Crown.

John: (as they shake hands and Aeryn eyes the bare-chested blond Dregon without one iota of appreciation) John Crichton - Astronaut.

Dregon: Katralla's a lovely girl. I wish you great happiness. (he turns to Aeryn) And ah - you would be-?

Aeryn: Extremely preoccupied. Excuse me. (she shepherds John away)

Dregon: (calling pleasantly after them) Perhaps some other time then?

John: We'll do lunch! (then, quietly to Aeryn-) Seemed like a nice guy.

Aeryn: Stop it.

John: So, any word on Moya?

Aeryn: I think she got spooked by Scorpius' Command Carrier.

John: Yeah - spook. Spooky - that's a good name for him. He has that effect.

Aeryn: On you?

John: On everybody. How many guards have you seen since you got up here?

Aeryn: (they pause and glance around) Too many.

John: That's right. They're protecting me. From him. Look - the Empress - this is her ball game. But if you have some suggestions, now would be a good time.

Aeryn: I'm just trying to figure out what they're hiding from us.

John: Well see if you can figure out someone else to marry the Princess.

Aeryn: And if I can't?

John: Better wed than dead. (Aeryn grimaces thoughtfully and continues on. He follows)

(later - cut to the grounds outside the palace. There is a pond of green water upon which float waterfowl and small pleasure boats. Aeryn is walking among the greenery at the ponds edge when she hears Princess Katralla’s voice and stops. She sees Katralla and Tyno standing on a small dock that zigzags out onto the water and listens to their conversation from concealment)

Princess Katralla: (in a voice deep with regret and despair) Tyno, I believe my mother will truly force me to marry this stranger.

Tyno: We can only hope.

Princess Katralla: (incredulous) We can only hope?

Tyno: (frustrated) What am I supposed to say Katralla?

Princess Katralla: (distraught and beseeching) You're supposed to say "No! Stop this travesty!" You're supposed to say `I will not let you marry that man!' You're supposed to take me away from this madness that is my life!

Tyno: (after a desolate pause he shakes his head and says gently) There's too much at stake to stop this now - you must exchange espouses-

Princess Katralla: (interrupting him, she sounds close to tears-) But I love you!

Tyno: As I love you. But our union is not destined to be. (as Aeryn watches Katralla lays her hands on his neck and kisses him, he returns her embrace for a long moment before gently pulling away and continuing-) You must go to Crichton. You must do your duty. (she makes no response, but steps back from Tyno with a look of sorrow and resignation on her round face)

(cut back to the room where yesterdays reception was held. Chiana and D'Argo are still crashed thereon a sofa. Don't they have hotel rooms on other planets? Aeryn has returned from her stroll in the palace gardens and is ranting)

Aeryn: Crichton is such a frelling fool!

D'Argo: He had no choice.

Aeryn: Oh, please! Princess Pretend doesn't even love him! She wants that Tyno!

D'Argo: You're forgetting about Scorpius.

Aeryn: We can hide from him in the barren lands outside the city until he leaves! (there's that Pilot DNA asserting itself again...)

Chiana: (impatient) Marrying her is the only thing that will save Crichtons life Aeryn, don't you get that?

Aeryn: (annoyed) I've had just about enough of you.

Chiana: No, no, no, it's not me that you're mad at. You should have told him how you felt about him when you had a chance.

Aeryn: (between her teeth-) You - don't - know - anything.

Chiana: Oh yeah? Well I know about men. You see that one over there? (she indicates Dregon, chatting with a man on the other side of the room) How many times has he tried to come onto you? What, three? Four? Look. He's well bred. He's rich. Handsome. Perfect. You're gonna let him get away too. You know why?

Aeryn: (daring her) Oh go on. Tell me.

Chiana: Because you only want the ones you can't have! So you're gonna go to Crichton, you're gonna mess with his head, he's gonna get turned over to Scorpius and - dead!

Aeryn: (righteously ignoring Chiana's analysis she declares loudly-) This marriage is wrong and you both know it! (and with that she stalks hurriedly away from them)

(meanwhile back on Moya things are not going according to plan. Moya and Pilot are moving - but not in the right direction. Zhaan rushes into Pilot's Den and up his Console where she cries in breathless desperation-)

Zhaan: Pilot! Why are we still moving further away from the Royal Planet?

Pilot: (in a maddeningly matter-of-fact tone) Moya is following a signal of some sort and refuses to give up the trail.

Zhaan: (agitated) Does she know that Scorpius did not follow us? Does she know that we have to return to the planet to help our friends?

Pilot: (placidly) Yes. But she is driven forward.

Zhaan: (panting) What sort of signal is it Pilot?

Pilot: Impossible to describe to our satisfaction. But one of her eight senses clearly identifies it as -familiar - and compelling. (Zhaan's eyes have the look of a woman with no paddle in a canoe on a river and a distant roar in her ears...)

(cut back to the Royal Planet where Aeryn is marching down one of the pale palace corridors by herself. A pair of sandaled, white-clad natives stroll past her but then suddenly the Scarran Emissary, Cargn, steps out from a doorway in front of her. His brutish face and form are jarring amid the tame. clean lines of the palace)

Aeryn: (stopping and muttering) Oh, perfect.

Cargn: I don't believe I've had the pleasure.

Aeryn: Yes, I've heard that about Scarrans. (she about-faces and begins to walk away from him)

Cargn: (politely persistent) Perhaps we could talk for a moment - in private. (he motions to the room he just stepped out of and Aeryn stops, clearly very put-out. But she opts to not write off this powerful creature as a mere annoyance and turns around, preceding him into the room he indicates. Once inside, she faces him and he continues-) I have a message for Scorpius.

Aeryn: Scorpius?

Cargn: I know you work together. I saw your Luxan with him.

Aeryn: (she immediately knows she's stumbled onto something and coolly strolls a bit further into the room) Go ahead.

Cargn: We will not tolerate your interference so far out in what you condescendingly call the uncharted territories.

Aeryn: (with a slight smile to suggest to him that he's talking to the right person) Is there anything else?

Cargn: Yes. Is your presence here the vanguard of a larger invading force?

Aeryn: I shall send your regards to Scorpius. (she begins to leave but he isn't finished and follows her aggressively)

Cargn: I had hoped to learn your mind by conversation - however if I must invade it - (he gets in front of her and raises a clawed hand, but before he can do any mind-invading Aeryn attacks. She is strong and well-trained but neither this nor speed gives her any advantage over the great Scarran diplomat. He quickly recovers from his probable surprise at the temerity of her attack and casually beats her across the room where he smashes her into a wall mirror with such force that it cracks in its frame. He then tosses her onto a long table and proceeds to wipe it with her face, dragging her down its length and taking various decorative items upon it with her as he goes. At the far end of the table he slams her savagely onto the floor. Aeryn scrambles backwards away from him as he calmly advances on her again, but at that moment the Empress appears in the doorway of the room)

Empress Novia: (pleasantly) Don't stop now. Go on - kill each other. Save me the trouble. (Cargn turns to her, once again the consummate envoy, respectful of her primacy)

Cargn: My apologies, Empress. (he exits calmly as Aeryn gapes from the floor)

Empress Novia: (she saunters to the broken mirror and adjusts her hair as she speaks to Aeryn) I rarely bother with warnings. Consider yourself the beneficiary of largesse. (Aeryn looks beaten and shocked as the Empress exits the room, passing Rygel on his way in. He murmurs his deference to her and approaches Aeryn)

Rygel: (with the wise and warning tone of one familiar with royal politics) Listen carefully Peacekeeper - the longer Crichton plays the part he's been assigned the more likely we'll keep our internal organs internal. Do not dissuade him from this marriage.

Aeryn: (defiant, but with some effort due to the drubbing she’s just taken) Thank you, Rygel. I'll do what I think is right.

Rygel: (pointedly) For Crichton, or for you? (he exits, leaving her alone in the wrecked room looking shaken and miserable)

(cut to a medical area somewhere in the palace, Katralla is there being seen by a physician who murmurs, “Just a small bump it says... almost finished...” as he applies a twittering instrument to her arm. In another part of the room John and Tyno talk. Apparently John is there for some testing as well)

John: You know, if you take any more samples of my DNA there's not gonna be enough left to be me.

Tyno: (with mild consternation) What species are you? Since you're not Sebacean.

John: Human. I keep trying to tell you guys that, but you don't seem to want to listen.

Tyno: We still don't. The Empress has ordered the revelation sealed. No one will ever know.

John: It's that important that I marry the Princess?

Tyno: (with conviction) Our dynastic integrity has always ensured peace. Any fracture, and the whole region could erupt.

John: Then why don't you marry her?

Tyno: Her DNA was poisoned. Unreceptive to anyone. Until you. (he glances in Katralla’s direction as she approaches a, open-framed medical device that sits in the middle of the room)

Princess Katralla: (to the doctor) Would you activate the machine for me please?

John: (taking a guess as to the identity of the DNA poisoner) Her brother?

Tyno: (quietly) Very discerning. With help, we believe, from the Scarran Emissary.

Princess Katralla: John! Come look! (he looks to where Katralla is standing by the open-framed machine and walks over. She’s been joined by Rygel)

Rygel: (appreciative) Oh! This is truly amazing Crichton! I must have one for my Kingdom!

Princess Katralla: Boy or girl?

John: I'm sorry, what?

Princess Katralla: The DNA testing confirms our incipient kiss. Our children will be healthy. Disease free.

Rygel: And you can see what they'll be like! Oh-ho! How many nasty surprises could I have avoided! (he laughs. John looks a bit perplexed, so Katralla demonstrates by speaking to the machine, choosing a gender for him)

Princess Katralla: Male infant please. (the machine emits a violet light before her as she holds out her arms and in a moment a baby appears which she cradles as she laughs with delight. John steps through the open arch of the machine and touches the infant in wonder. Tyno stands with his arms crossed and averts his eyes sadly. At the moment Aeryn also enters to room but stops at some distance as she observes John touching the baby gently and cooing to it)

John: Hey buuuud-dyyyy! What's up? Where'd you come from? Look at you slugger! (Aeryn watches, in silence the clearly delighted John with the phantom baby and listens to him and Katralla speak) This is - this is what our child would look like?

Princess Katralla: (with maternal delight as she and John stand, touching and making over the child) One possibility. The choice is ours. (Aeryn turns and leaves, John is so engrossed with his potential progeny that he never noticed her entry - or exit) Would you like to see him grown up?

John: (softly) Yes - please. Not - not too grown up. (he strokes the baby’s head as it fusses and reaches for him) ssh, ssh, ssh... (the scene fades and now a little boy, clad in snowy white, stands in the violet light of the machine and speaks to John-)

Little Boy: (smiling shyly) Hi Dad. (John, crouching by the virtual child, grins with pleasure)

Rygel: (sounding almost as delighted as John) Astounding device! Oh! Oh - looks just like you! (John and the Little Boy tussle gently)

John: (grinning with fatherly joy) Yeah, he does kinda.

Rygel: (chucking) Yet he may be able to overcome it! (John knuckles the Little Boys tummy with exceeding tenderness and the Little Boy playfully punches his arm in response)

John: (softly, without taking his eyes from the child) Thank you - that's all. (and the Little Boy fades away as does John's smile. His expression becomes pensive and Rygel sighs wistfully)

Tyno: Not to be intrusive, but the Royal Tailor would like to see you for a fitting. You're scheduled to meet members of the Royal Family Court and you must work on a pose for your governance statue.

John: Statue? (he laughs as he rises and steps away from the machine) Get out of town! (Tyno’s look is solemn) All right fine - well on Earth we have this Queen, she uh, she's got this wave - (and with a little smirk, he demonstrates the familiar wave of QEII) I'll do that.

Tyno: (the Councilor is not amused and replies dryly-) Hardly a pose you'd like to hold for 80 cycles, I'm afraid. (he begins to turn away)

John: What ei- What 80 cycles?

Tyno: (stopping, hesitant-) I - just assumed you knew. (oh... oh yeah there’s just this one little thing...)

John: (stepping up close to him, suddenly apprehensive) Knew what? (so much for the warm fuzzy feelings created by the baby-projector...)

(cut to a patio outside in the pleasant palace gardens. Prince Clavor, Cargn and Jena speak)

Prince Clavor: (furious) Crichtons DNA is compatible! It's not a trick!

Cargn: (forceful) Then your loyalists must assassinate him!

Prince Clavor: You really frelled up this time Cargn! This is not part of our bargain!

Cargn: Scorpius is here because your mother let him attend!

Prince Clavor: Oh! So! Now it's my mothers fault huh? I have half a mind to tell her about you! (Cargn snarls and sends a furnace-like breath at the Prince who throws his head back with discomfort. But Cargn also raises a clawed hand to him and holds him in the grip of Scarran mind control which renders him unable to move way from the painful heat)

Cargn: You do have half a mind Your Highness. But will you actually reveal our plans? (the Prince chokes and gasps with heat-induced agony) Can you see past your childishness to realize any betrayal means your instant death - even if mine follows?

Prince Clavor: (strangled) Yes! (Cargn releases him and he collapses, groaning. The Scarran turns to Jena and now delivers the same treatment to her)

Cargn: I am - curious - dear Jenavia, to know of your loyalties? (she too begins to choke and spasm and is unable to step away from his heat and mind probe) As I interrogated your loving fiancé, what was going through your delicate little miiiind?

Jena: (with much effort - she reveals her callowness) I was hoping you wouldn't wear that to our wedding! (the Scarran releases her and she too collapses, vomiting, as Cargn shakes his head with mild contempt and walks away from them)

Cargn: Destiny’s couple, you are.

(meanwhile, Moya, Pilot and Zhaan have arrived at a huge interstellar dust cloud. Great lights, like infant stars, glow from within the grey clouds and occasional lightening-like flashes of brilliance stutter ominously)

Zhaan: (as she observes the magnificent scene from a viewport) Why has Moya brought us here Pilot?

Pilot: I don't know. Moya continues to be evasive with me. However, I assume it has something to do with that. (he directs her attention to a large ribbon of intense white light that appears to be moving from the dust clouds towards them, it twists and writhes in the silent solar winds of space)

Zhaan: (with dread) What is it Pilot? Is it alive?

Pilot: Yes.

Zhaan: (it’s 20 questions time) Does Moya know this living thing?

Pilot: (in a gently amazed tone as he seems to get more information from his evasive ship) Yes.

Zhaan: Who is it?

Pilot: (cut to him in his Den as he says slowly, with a mixture of utter awe and dread) The Builders... Her Creators… Her - (in a long, drawn-out whisper) - god.

(cut from the sublime to the ridiculous. Back on the Royal Planet, Chiana and D’Argo seem to have finally found a hotel room and they’re indulging in more guttural alien whoopee. Just as Chiana throws her head back in a long moan of pleasure - John walks in on them again. This time he doesn’t care though and bellies right up to the bed where he leans into D’Argos’ face)

John: Did you hear? - ABOUT THE STATUE? (he glances at Chiana, who’s stark nekkid and on top again. She has a nice back but that isn’t the side of her John is on) Hi Chiana. (Chiana grinds) 80 cycles - EIGHTY CYCLES! That is roughly 80 YEARS to you and me and - (he’s barely coherent with distress, shock, outrage, etc.) - OVER 500 YEARS TO DOGS! (Something moves under Chiana and D’Argo, with a nice white quilted comforter over his head - comes up for air and fixes John with a baleful glare as he says quietly)

D'Argo: Why don't you stay and tell us about it John? (John doesn’t move and with a sigh, Chiana dismounts and flounces off, presumably to finish by herself. D’Argo sits up, demurely swaddled in his blanket and listens to John)

John: (in a tone that suggests he’s fighting down anger and panic) Did you know about the statue when you were convincing me to marry the Princess?

D'Argo: (with the verbal equivalent of a shrug) I don't know about it now.

John: After we're married, and I mean - right after - we're married - they turn us into statues.

D'Argo: (in a rather disinterested tone) That - is - fascinating. (friends in heat are aren’t worth a used condom)

John: Excellent. D'Argo discovers science.

D'Argo: (trying hard to Be There) To what purpose?

John: (in a tone that suggests he’s imitating someone’s lofty explanation of this craziness) Governing continuity. (then adds his own frank assessment) They screw with out molecular structure, turn us into pigeon perches, and we preside over their senate or whatever the hell they call it for 80 cycles.

D'Argo: (trying hard to grasp this) As - a statue?

John: Yeah. An’ we can see, we can hear - don't ask me how - and we're supposed to absorb every single facet of their governmental system that way when Mom and Pops finally kick it - we rule.

D'Argo: (thoughtfully) Perhaps that's why they've endured 1900 cycles of peace - It works.

John: You're like a brochure.

D'Argo: (after a short pause) You have to go through with it John.

John: (unable to believe his predicament and why no-one else seems upset by it) 80 - cycles. (he snorts bitterly) My college loans will be delinquent. I'll miss the strippers on my 100th birthday. (his voice rises to a scream of protest) I'll get a utility bill for three trillion dollars for a single porch light I left on AND EVERYBODY I KNOW WILL BE DEAD!

D'Argo: (quietly) The alternative is having your brain dissected by Scorpius.

John: Humans do not live as long as Sebaceans - or Hynerians, or Delvians. When I get back, everyone - my Dad, DK, my sisters - Cameron Diaz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer - WILL BE DEAD!

D'Argo: You may never see these people again anyway.

John: (desolate) Hope. D'Argo. It's what keeps you going. You're gonna see your son. I'm gonna get home. Hope. I have hope - or I have nothing. (he buries his face in his hands)

D'Argo: (sympathetic, trying to be encouraging) Look at what Fate has given you. Scorpius will no longer be a threat. And as a ruler you'll have power. Peace. Prosperity. You could create a family. Perhaps you've only just discovered your true destiny.

John: You've been spending way too much time with Chiana you know that?

D'Argo: Amongst all the fluff she can make a lot of sense. Our time was good John. We had each other when we needed each other. But now it's time to move past your fears. See what's on the road ahead.

John: If I do this - you have to be my best man.

D'Argo: (a little surprised, but gently-) Uh... I'm with Chiana now - John. (as if it were a taste of the alien aloneness that lies ahead - John stares at him a moment and shakes his head a little, finding no humor in D’Argos misunderstanding)

(cut to later - John's room. He is donning local clothing - but his are in red instead of white. ro-NA is there assisting him, laying out a jacket on the bed)

John: (as he reaches past her for the coat) So, do you talk?

ro-NA: (she freezes, wary, and replies in a tiny, high-pitched feminine voice) When asked to, Highness.

John: So ah - you work for the Royal Family.

ro-NA: For 22 cycles. Since Katralla and Clavor were children. I'm happy she has found you as a mate Highness.

John: No, uh - loose the ‘Highness” part. I'm John. Call me that.

ro-NA: I am ro-NA.

John: ro-NA. (and at that moment Aeryn barrels into the room)

Aeryn: (loudly, to ro-NA) Could you give us a moment alone please? (the servant scurries off)

Aeryn: (stridently) So you're going to listen to D'Argo over me are you? Is that right?

John: The Empress has made it clear, I marry her daughter or she hands me to Scorpius.

Aeryn: 80 cycles as a statue?

John: (vehemently) It's better than Scorpius!

Aeryn: Is it? (they face each other for a long moment)

John: (with quiet dread) He's in my head. Back of my mind, corner of my eye - he scares me Aeryn, and I can't shake him.

Aeryn: (determined) I don't know what you're talking about - but there's never been anything we couldn't overcome together.

John: Except each other. (he turns away from her and adjusts his red silky jacket)

Aeryn: (sounding deflated and upset) I can't come to the wedding.

John: I want you there.

Aeryn: Don't be absurd.

John: I need you there. Aeryn, I - Aeryn don't you think that there are things to say?

Aeryn: (angry & resentful) At this point, what else is there to say except goodbye?

John: (also angry) You're right. You're always right. (Aeryn turns on her heel and storms out as fast as she came in, leaving John to murmur-) Bye. (he sits to put on his shoes and mutters) Welcome to Barbie-world. (at that moment another servant enters and stands just behind the armed guard near he door)

Servant: They're almost ready for you - Highness. (but then, instead of leaving he seizes the guard from behind and breaks his neck. John, who had been sitting with his back to the door, spins around and grabs the bench he was sitting on to use as a shield against the servant who fires a weapon at him. John then goes on the offensive by using the bench to knock the servant to the floor and pin him there where he proceeds to beat him. Several more servants rush in at the commotion - but they aren’t there to help John and quickly pull him off the first servant. Then - while 2 men hold him, a third aims a weapon at John and says-)

"Here's your wedding present, from Prince Clavor."

And with that - he shoots. John is hit in the chest by a sustained beam of white energy that seems to distort his flesh as he screams in agony.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Part 2 (I Do, I Think)
And the plot thickens...

The episode picks up where the last one left off - with John in his palace quarters on the Royal Planet of the Breakaway Colonies in the process of being assassinated by Prince Clavor’s henchmen. But before they can deliver the final zap that will kill him - into the room swoops none other than Jena - Prince Clavor’s fiancé. But instead of reveling in the imminent success of the Princes endeavors - she silently launches a deadly attack on the would-be assassins and with a series of martial arts style moves quickly decimates them. While she takes on the hit squad, John staggers to the bed and sinks down onto it, gasping and trying to recover from the attack. Once Jena snaps the neck of the last assassin, she turns and regards John stonily.

Jena: Which branch are you with? (John stares back at her - uncomprehending and she moves toward him) Which branch? (still getting no response from the stunned man, she curtly introduces herself) Jenavian Charto. Disrupter - Peacekeeper Special Directorate. (she then repeats her demand) Which branch?

John: (wise enough to know he'd best go along with her) You should know I can't tell you that.

Jena: (she mutters softly to herself as she paces the room eyeing the dead assassins) Frell. Trust them to send him back up and not tell me.

John: Yeah well if it makes you feel any better, they did the same to me. (he nonchalantly readjusts his clothing) So - what's your assignment?

Jena: (as she pokes carelessly with her foot at one of her victims) Stay close to Prince Clavor - my vapid little fiancé - and if he assumes the crown - kill him.

John: Well that makes sense.

Jena: I admire your dedication. Wouldn't let them make me a statue for 80 cycles.

John: Interesting coincidence, I was just having the same thought.

Jena: Are you wavering?

John: And if I am?

Jena: (as she sits down next to him) Would you hesitate to kill me if I jeopardized the mission?

John: Jenavian, right? Thanks. (he quickly gathers up his red jacket and leaves)

(cut to soon after in the palace quarters of the Prince Clavor. John enters unannounced and accosts the smarmy royal)

John: How you doing? (he shoves the Prince)

Prince Clavor: Get away from me! How dare you!

John: You want a piece of me? Mm? (he slaps Clavor provocatively on one cheek) Wanna piece? (he slaps the Princes other cheek)

Prince Clavor: (dodging past John) Help guards! Help! (but John catches him and pushes him back again)

John: Nope! Nonono - the guards are taking five so the brothers-in-law can get to know one another.

Prince Clavor: (terrified) Look - I am sorry - if someone tried to kill you using my name - they will pay!

John: (as he delivers a little slap to each of Clavor’s cheeks again and the Prince yips) You are pathetic.

Prince Clavor: (outraged) You cannot strike me! I am royalty! (John punches him in the face, hard and then lowers the wobbly Prince onto a chair. Clavor slurs, as if he's about to lose a tooth-) What do you want?

Jena: (who has entered at some point and is behind a screen through which her silhouette can be seen) Nothing, darling.

John: (grabbing Clavor by the nose and speaking quietly to him) I want off this planet. (ro-NA enters and stops short at the spectacle) Now, you're going to find a way to get Scorpius off my back. (he uses Clavor's nose to make the Princes head nod)

Jena: (calling blithely) Have we company?

John: (to Clavor as he makes his head nod again) Your sister - she gets to marry who she wants. And you get to be king.

Jena: Clavor? (she looks over the top of the screen at John who is standing over Clavor and pinching his nose shut while the Prince shakily mouth-breathes) I'm trying to bathe.

John: Oh my - the future Mrs Valiant. We're just getting to know one another. You should get dressed. (back to Clavor) Do not try to kill me again. It makes me angry. (he makes Clavor nod)

ro-NA: Is everything all right?

John: (as he leaves) He needs a bath and a hug.

Prince Clavor: Get my mother. (ro-NA makes no move) GET MY MOTHER! (ro-NA jumps and scurries out)

(cut to soon after - Tyno is striding angrily along a palace corridor tailed by Chiana, D'Argo and John)

D'Argo: I demand better protection for him!

Tyno: You cannot assault a member of the ruling house!

John: (mildly) Well he was trying to have me killed.

Chiana: (grinning with glee at John) You bitch-slapped the tralk!

John: (in a tone that suggests he'd like her to shut up about that now...) I did, yes.

Tyno: (stopping and saying with frustration) We can find no evidence of an attack.

John: Look, the same weapon that they used on me was used to disintegrate the assailants OK?

Tyno: By a mysterious saviour you can't identify!

John: (frustrated that his story isn't being bought) I was having my ass wiped across the floor! I did not take time to-

D'Argo: (interrupting John to demand of Tyno) Are you doubting Crichton?

Chiana: Well it is a weird story.

John: (pushing Chiana towards D'Argo) You are not helping!

D'Argo: CHIANA! (she ducks aside)

Tyno: (silencing them with a firm tone) I will upgrade security. I will alert the Empress. But I will NOT accuse the Prince of treason without proof!

John: (softly) But you believe me, don't you?

Tyno: The reason your charges against the Prince will be met with scepticism is that the Empress, and by extension - the entire Royal Family - abhors personal violence. (at that moment Princess Katralla strides up behind John and taps his shoulder. He turns around and she delivers a resounding slap to his face before saying-)

Princess Katralla: Follow me. (John eyes Tyno to make sure he appreciates the irony of Katralla’s greeting and silently follows her as Chiana and D'Argo look on speechlessly)

(cut to John and Katralla as they enter a room and she slams the door shut. John has a look on his face that says 'Aw CRIPES!')

Princess Katralla: You humiliated me. (she lays another sharp slap on John's face)

John: That's enough. OK? You have made your point.

Princess Katralla: I don't think I have. Clavor went to my mother and detailed your obnoxious behavior.

John: (quietly incredulous) My obnoxious behavior?

Princess Katralla: Yes! My brother poisoned my DNA, I know - I am NOT a fool - but he would never kill anyone!

John: Well a Scarran might, they are playmates, you know that?

Princess Katralla: Look - If you don't want to marry me - just say so.

John: I already said so. Lady, we have been over this ground with a backhoe. It works for both of us - It saves my life, it saves your ass. (Katralla slaps him again)

John: (squinting from the force of that one) Okay. I did deserve that.

Princess Katralla: My mother now considers you unstable. She wants more medical tests.

John: Katralla, listen to me. Your brother sent men to kill me. Now - John cannot marry Katralla if John is not alive!

Princess Katralla: (upset but firm with her conviction) Clavor is weak. I cannot believe that he would participate in such a heinous act. That means you're lying. And if so - I can't marry you.

(Meanwhile - back on Moya, the twisting ribbon of light approaching her now looks like a missile putting out a great trail of vapor as it rockets towards, and enters her)

Pilot: Zhaan, there's no doubt, the smoke tendril has definitely invaded Moya!

Zhaan: (calling to Pilot as she moves hastily through Moya’s corridors) Where, Pilot? Which way?

Pilot: Directly above you, moving into the maintenance bay. (panting with anxiety, Zhaan lopes off in that direction)

Zhaan: (upon arriving in the bay she looks around and seeing nothing calls again -) Pilot?

Pilot: Still moving through Moya’s ducts overhead - down the wall!

Zhaan: Where? Which wall? (he makes no response and behind Zhaan a finger of vapor enters the bay and begins to expand in a white swirl) Pilot, where? (a DRD at her feet squeaks urgently and she turns around to behold the white whirlwind of vapor coalesce into a semi-corporeal being. He is constantly wreathed in swirls of smoke so only his face and upper body are visible. He is pale, humanoid in appearance and lit in brilliant white light that drains him of color. He has structures resembling a laurel wreath around his head and resembles nothing quire so much as an ancient Roman senator - or if you don't mind a little irreverence - the Little Cesar’s Pizza guy. He is Kahaynu. The DRD runs for cover and in his Den Pilot sits, speechless. Zhaan backs up and chants warily) Kale tana nash pu ne, kale tana nash pu ne...

Kahaynu: (he speaks in a calm, cultured voice) Be calm priest. I am the ships deity, not yours.

Zhaan: Then you must be one of the ships Builders - one of those who gave Leviathans intelligence.

Kahaynu: Anybody can give a machine intelligence. (in a long low murmur-) We gave her a soul.

Zhaan: Then I welcome you aboard.

Kahaynu: I have been through Moya’s systems. She is in good health. And she has given birth.

Zhaan: To a male offspring, named Talyn.

Kahaynu: A gunship.

Pilot: (breaking in a little defensively via clamshell viewer) Not of her choosing, while held captive- (but Kahaynu isn't interested in anything Pilot has to say and causes the clamshell viewer to fizzle out)

Kahaynu: (imperiously) Pilots do not speak to Kahaynu.

Zhaan: (with slight disapproval) A capricious deity.

Kahaynu: We created these beasts as emissaries of peace.

Zhaan: Then you have succeeded Kahaynu. Moya is a gentle soul.

Kahaynu: And is able to reproduce ships that can dispense carnage. I am here to decommission Moya - to end her existence.

(cut back to the Royal Planet. Aeryn and Chiana are sitting on the shore of a bay outside the back of the palace)

Aeryn: Honestly, Chiana, as long as Crichton's all right, I don't know what else I can do.

Chiana: Go to him.

Aeryn: He's already made his decision.

Chiana: He needs us now - he needs you.

Aeryn: He needs more body guards and you said that's happening.

Chiana: Have you even told him how you feel?

Aeryn: He knows what he needs to know.

Chiana: Look Aeryn, all men are stupid, ok? Men - stupid. If you want them to know something, you gotta to tell them. (at that moment Dregon, cousin to the crown - approaches them)

Dregon: I trust I'm not disturbing you - (he crouches down next to Aeryn) - BUT - I'm planning a trip to the edge of the Barren Lands to watch the Pelkrinos migrate and thought you-

Aeryn: (cutting him off curtly) No thank you.

Dregon: I sense - unhappiness that your friend Crichton is marrying our Princess.

Aeryn: (snapping) Oh yes? And why would that make me unhappy?

Dregon: I simply offer myself as a diversion. (Aeryn snorts derisively) Besides, you never know, we could be extremely compatible. (he holds up a vial of the DNA compatibility test serum)

Aeryn: (Dregon smiles as she reaches over and takes the vial from him - but his smile fades as she pitches it with a careless flick of her wrist, into the water without taking her eyes off him. She then says patronizingly-) Now don't feel bad. It's not you - it's me. I don't like you. (and she returns her gaze to out over the water)

Dregon: Well. You certainly have made your feelings clear. (Aeryn grunts affirmatively and he leaves as Chiana watches him go, seeming to share his loss as to what to say or do)

(cut back to the Royal Palace where John and Katralla are still talking)

Princess Katralla: So now you want to marry me?

John: Well, it works for the situation.

Princess Katralla: (she comes and takes a seat next to him on a couch, her arm thrown casually ever the back of it) Look - John, I'd like to believe you. But our investigators have uncovered no trace of the events you describe.

John: What about the guard that was killed when they came after me? Where's he?

Princess Katralla: (shrugging) He could be anywhere.

John: (frustrated, he waves his hands around his head in a sarcastic gesture) Yeah, he - he's everywhere - he's in heaven. (but he freezes in mid-arm wave as he spots a basketball sized silver orb that has appeared out of nowhere and is hovering in midair a few feet away from them. It bleeps as red and blue lights flicker on its surface) Do we, do we know this?

Princess Katralla: (as she slowly removes her arm from the back of the couch and sits forward) I've never seen anything like it before.

John: (he rises slowly to approach the orb) Obi-Wan had one... except his was a lot smaller. (he touches the orb and it shoots vertically out of his reach before swooping back down to eye level again on the other side of him. It seems to be staring at them and its beeping is becoming more intense and high-pitched. Katralla makes a run for the door but funds they are trapped)

Princess Katralla: John it's locked! (she pounds at the door and calls) Hello? Can anyone hear me? HELLO? (suddenly the orb begins to emit a mist)

John: Get down! (but she continues to pound at the door and cry for help as John runs to a window and attempts to break it out. But the window is shatter-proof and Katralla begins to cough and choke as the room fills with vapor released by the orb) KATRALLA! (he leaves the window and rushes back to her where he pulls her down to the floor, below the level of the rising mist) Get down! Is there another way out?

Princess Katralla: I don't think so.

John: Just keep your face to the floor - shallow breaths. (but the gas has filled the room by now to the point where it is at floor level and they are both choking and gasping for air when Katralla looks up and sees a form moving in the thick fog)

Princess Katralla: John- (they both watch with dread as the indistinct form gets nearer - its eyes are glowing red through the mist - but then the tiny feminine voice of ro-NA is heard)

ro-NA: This way.

John: What?

ro-NA: Come on! This way!

John: Katralla come on! (he pulls the Princess to her feet and they follow ro-NA)

(cut to moments later - John, Katralla and ro-NA are on the floor of a corridor outside the gassed room, catching their breaths)

Princess Katralla: (coughing) I doubted you, I'm sorry.

John: (gasping) Aw it's all right - just the burden of being right all the time.

Princess Katralla: Your word is worthy. I will marry you.

(cut to later - the Empress and Rygel are in the room where the second assassination attempt was made. They are inspecting the now inert orb. The scene picks up in the middle of their conversation)

Empress Novia: That's unacceptable Dominar Rygel. John Crichton may not leave this planet - but I will protect him.

Rygel: (with a derisive chuckle) I've noticed how efficient that is.

Empress Novia: (defensively) Security was tripled. This device was unknown to us. There was no way we could predict its application.

Rygel: You know why you couldn't? Because it's probably Scarran. The same Scarran who's in conspiracy with your son.

Empress Novia: (stung by the possible accuracy of his theory) Silence! You may once have ruled six hundred billion, but you will not besmirch my sons name!

Rygel: (in the tone of a reasonable peer) Aren't we past that Novia? You posture and deny any longer and we both lose what we want.

Empress Novia: If Crichton leaves, he will flee.

Rygel: Not - if you control the situation. Stash him somewhere. Moya's gone. He's got no where to go. At least give yourself time to identify the conspirators other than your son.

Empress Novia: (with a sigh) Are you familiar with the Jakensh race?

Rygel: The little green creature who saved Crichton and your daughter.

Empress Novia: Precisely. Her Elders Counsel sent a ship filled with wedding gifts. It orbits unattended, unnoticed.

Rygel: Excellent thinking. Do you employ a detail of guards above treason?

Empress Novia: I shall send my very own Paladins.

Rygel: I propose we tell no one. Not my shipmates, or your daughter. Let them all think that Crichton's disappeared. (he chuckles slyly)

Empress Novia: (she chuckles slyly too) Throw them off the scent. Encourage those who are intent on assassination to grow careless.

Rygel: Precisely. You are most wise, Empress. (he makes an exaggerated bow)

Empress Novia: (smiling) And you are most manipulative - Dominar.

Rygel: This - servant - you trust it?

Empress Novia: With my secrets and my life. ro-NA will not betray us.

(cut to Scorpius' palace quarters An aide is replacing one of the coolant rods that prevents Scorpius' heat-producing Scarran half from killing his heat-intolerant Sebacean half. Perhaps he has chosen to have ro-NA witness this gruesome process to intimidate her. She gapes as the gory coolant rod spins into Scorpius' head and he hands her a credit chip)

Scorpius: Something wrong?

ro-NA: (covering nervously) It's so much currency.

Scorpius: One quarter down payment for your excellent services. 3 times as much upon completion of your assignment. (he sighs with both pain and satisfaction as the rod replacement process finishes and shows ro-NA another chip) Do you know what this is?

ro-NA: (hesitantly) The - trans-sequence ident wafer?

Scorpius: Do you know what to do with it?

ro-NA: (in a tiny voice) Yes.

Scorpius: Good! (he suddenly reaches out and pulls her close to him and she squeals with terror, forcing herself to stiffly tolerate his embrace) I predict that very shortly, you'll be the wealthiest Jakensh in this part of the galaxy.

ro-NA: (squeaking) Thank you! (she snatches the ident chip out of his hand and flees the room as Scorpius looks after her with amusement)

Scorpius: Interesting creature.

Aide: Pitiful really.

Scorpius: Notify Lieutenant Braca that at the conclusion of his mission there are to be no - witnesses - left behind. (the aide bows her head in acknowledgement and leaves. Scorpius says aloud to himself with a growl-) Oh to be there when the scales fall from John Crichtons eyes...

(soon after - cut to the transport pod which our crew came to this planet on. John is aboard, accompanied by a contingent of palace guards and ro-NA)

John: (to ro-NA) I take it we are clear. You show the way.

Guard: No one following.

ro-NA: (holding out the ident chip she got from Scorpius) Dominar Rygel said you must insert this before ascending.

John: (flatly) I've already altered our trans-sequence identity code. We won't track as a Leviathan transport pod.

ro-NA: (in a rushed tone) He said it was a last minute security procedure in case we'd been compromised. I'm sorry I don't understand these things.

John: I do not like skipping out without people knowing.

ro-NA: I thought that was the point.

John: The point is to hide from my enemies, not my friends.

Guard: Your Highness, the 2 attempts on your life demand extreme security.

ro-NA: And Councilor Tyno will be looking for this new code on his tracking screen.

John: (resigned) All right. (he takes the chip and inserts it into the pods computer) Thank you. Buckle in boys and girls. (he does a humorless stewardess schtick) Emergency exits, hammond side. (to ro-NA, who is loitering bear the nav console) I'm driving. (she scuttles away and the pod ascends to join the flotilla of ships drifting over the city)

(meanwhile back out somewhere in space, Moya is proving that religion is the opiate of Leviathans as well the people)

Zhaan: (crying frantically as she barrels into Pilots Den) Pilot! You must arrest her actions! Moya cannot be doing this willingly!

Pilot: (helplessly) She is shutting her own systems down in sequence! I cannot override!

Zhaan: (calling to the great ship) MOYA! HEAR ME! Whatever this Kahaynu has done to you - it is not in your self interest! (there is no response form Moya but Kahaynu materializes to speak for himself)

Kahaynu: How egocentric. As if your way is were the only way.

Zhaan: (with passion) I am a priest. I have long ago come to terms with the idea that alien life practices alien ritual. But all life cherishes life! (we wish)

Kahaynu: Moya can produce gunships. Moya must be decommissioned. She trusts my suggestion to guide her.

Zhaan: You will never convince me that Moya is doing this willingly.

Kahaynu: Then let her do it. (he raises his hand and Moya is endowed with the ability to articulate herself to Zhaan. The voice of Moya is deep and feminine and very slow. It seems to shimmer from the very walls and atmosphere of her being. Zhaan falls to her knees in awe and sorrow)

Moya: Moyaaah... fulfilled...

Zhaan: Moya...

Moya: Moyaaah... go... willing. Willing... Yesss... Peeeaccce...

Zhaan: (sobbing) This is an abomination. I am so filled with uncharitable rage. (the lights around her and Pilot go dark and Zhaan’s heartbreaking wail echoes throughout Moya) NNNOOOOOO! Ah! OH AAAHHHH!

(cut back to the Royal Planet where Aeryn, Chiana and D'Argo confront Rygel - things are not going as planned. As usual. Tyno is present and looking regretful as D'Argo grabs Rygel and bellows-)

D'Argo: YOU WEREN'T GOING TO TELL US JOHN WAS LEAVING THE PLANET!

Rygel: It wasn't my idea! Grab Empress Novia by the throat if you dare!

Aeryn: When did the transport pod disappear?

Tyno: Immediately after passing through our weather layer. There's been no signal from it whatsoever.

Chiana: Did it explode?

Tyno: Not that I can tell.

D'Argo: Was it commandeered?

Aeryn: Could it have landed somewhere?

Tyno: (frustrated) No!

D'Argo: This is Scorpius. I'm sure of it. (he strides out)

Aeryn: No -the Scarran- (she goes to follow D'Argo)

Chiana: (moving quickly to stop Aeryn) Hey-ey-ey! You and the Scarran - not a good idea. Remember last time? Let me try first. (she exits)

Rygel: I'll uh - be with the Empress. (Aeryn gives him a vicious jab as he leaves, he yelps and swears a little but wisely doesn't stop)

Tyno: (to Aeryn as he leaves too) I'm sorry. I know the worst is being left behind. (Aeryn eyes him as if wondering how many people are aware of what a loser she is)

(meanwhile, the transport pod. may be off everyone else’s radar - but it moves smoothly above the planet towards the Jakenshi cargo ship. Wild-looking areas of the planet pass below them as John talks to ro-NA)

John: So Is there a reason your ship is so far from the others?

ro-NA: It's an automatic cargo runner. Isolation makes it harder to find and discourages looters.

John: And why would someone want to loot an empty cargo runner?

ro-NA: Only empty of crew. It is filled with wedding presents for the Princess and yourself.

John: Presents? Nonono - you've done enough. I'm gonna talk to the Mrs, you can keep the presents. You need a toaster right?

ro-NA: (very nervous) Toaster? (muttering to herself) Toastertoastertoastertoaster - Uh - oh - I couldn't - Highness.

John: It's John. Look, I'm gonna be a statue for 80 cycles. Someone oughta use the stuff while the warranties are still good.

ro-NA: Our culture frowns on acquisition. We live to serve, not to possess.

John: So you don't own your own stuff?

ro-NA: No. To what end does possessory wealth serve?

John: Well - good question. Before I left Earth I had a lot of things that were very important to me.

ro-NA: No more?

John: I live in a converted cell. I don't have a VCR, no remote control... Damn - no Charlie Parker albums. And I do miss my '62 T-bird. (ro-NA seems to like the sound of "T-bird" and mutters it madly under her breath) But - you discover you need very little.

ro-NA: And do you miss not having these things?

John: Not really. Priorities change.

ro-NA: (sounding a bit giddy) I often wonder what I would do with wealth!

John: Well I tell you what - if there's ever anything I can do to help you find it - you let me know.

ro-NA: I shall remember those words Highness.

John: It's John.

ro-NA: (absentmindedly) Yeeesss Highness yes...

(cut back to the royal palace. Katralla is in a room in front of a mirror, fussing with her hair. Jena enters and stands a short distance away, smoothing her own hair in the mirror)

Jena: Poor Katralla. So unaware of what it takes.

Princess Katralla: To be a slut, Jenavian?

Jena: To keep a man. I heard yours ran off rather than marry you.

Princess Katralla: Somebody tried to kill him. Probably my brother. Your fiancé. What does that say about you?

Jena: (looking directly at the Princess) Honestly? That I pick winners.

Princess Katralla: You disgust me. (but before this encounter can develop into a full-scale catfight, Aeryn flies into the room and grabbing both Jena and Katralla by the back of the head shoves their faces against the mirror and holds them there where they squirm and their pretty faces are squashed into all sorts of unlovely contortions)

Aeryn: Hello ladies. I hope I'm not disturbing. ("Let go of me!" Katralla grates, "Let GO of me!" Aeryn ignores her) Now listen to me closely so that there's no misunderstanding. I don't know what game's being played on this little planet of yours, and I don't really care. What I care about is that a good friend of mine is not hurt - in any sense of the word. (Jena mutters "How DARE you!") And if he is, I will personally take revenge on both of your overly made up faces. (and with that she lets go of them and storms back out. Katralla leaves too while Jena resumes her preening)

(cut to Prince Clavor’s quarters... He is pacing the floor clutching a silky blue pillow and ranting to his Scarran puppetmaster, Cargn)

Prince Clavor: (backing up as Cargn approaches him) He came into my chambers and he AFFRONTED me b-before my fiancé!, (he punches the pillow and throws it down) I - I will have his HEAD on a POST and his-

Cargn: Silence! Your gas attack on Crichton and the Princess succeeded! He has fled! You have won!

Prince Clavor: (haughty) I assumed the gas attack was yours. I wouldn't kill my own sister.

Cargn: Then you are perhaps unworthy to be Regent. Nevertheless - this imposter to the crown is gone. Your sisters birthversary approaches in 2 solar days- (at that moment Chiana enters)

Chiana: Am I interrupting? Hey? Well of course I am. (she comes further into the room, Cargn growls and follows her movements with menace as she talks to him) Yeah. Yeah, it's so, so hard to conduct a conspiracy with out privacy. Well ask me, I should know. (she hops past Clavor, putting him between her and the Scarran)

Prince Clavor: What do you want?

Chiana: I'm a Nebari. You may have heard of us.

Cargn: Leave this room now chiiild.

Chiana: Well you also may also have heard how we can defeat full Command Carriers. Not to mention, uh, mind cleansing.

Cargn: (humoring her now) We are both impressed and daunted by your means Nebari. Continue.

Chiana: (nervous) So if anything happens to John Crichton - Expect uh - Expect retribution. (Cargn has his eyes fixed intently upon her as he makes a low snarling sound) Yeah. Retribution. (she turns and leaves, breathing softly to herself as she goes-) Frell...

Prince Clavor: What the hezmana was that all about?

Cargn: They don't know where he is either. You are going to rule.

(cut back to the pod as it docks with the Jakenshi cargo ship far above the Royal Planet. The scene shifts to John, ro-NA and the guards as they debark onto the cargo ship. An electronic auto-alert immediately blares a warning, "Invader alert! Invader alert! 20 microts to forced depressurization!")

ro-NA: Occupant lighting low. (bright lights come on revealing the interior of the ship to be - a hodgepodge of indistinct, junky hardware. Odd chirping sounds echo in the musty space. ro-NA continues in her childlike anime voice-) Reduce by half! (the lights dim and John and the guards relax)

John: Wow. This place has an interesting smell. It's not exactly a 5-star hotel is it? But at least it's off the main road. (and at that moment someone shoots one of the guards)

Second Guard: GET DOWN! (ro-NA ducks for cover amid the dim clutter and the second guard is shot down as well. John hits the deck but before he can make another move, someone is on him with a gun)

Braca: Don't. (John freezes) Oh - how disappointing you are in the flesh.

John: I get that all the time.

Braca: To think of all the energy Scorpius expended on you.

John: Yeah. I'm not crazy about it either.

Braca: (to ro-NA) Notify Scorpius as instructed. Sub-pulse shielded frequency. (then to John, who slowly gets to his feet) A little reunion is in order. Don't you think? Hm?

(cut to shortly after. John sits silently at a console, awaiting his fate and listening to the conspiracy that has undone him. They have moved to the control center of the cargo ship)

ro-NA: I've cut his transport loose. It's drifting away.

Braca: The marauder that's coming to pick us up will need to dock in its place.

ro-NA: Now where's the rest of my payment?

Braca: When Crichton is safely aboard the Command Carrier.

ro-NA: That wasn't my arrangement with Scorpius. I want my payment.

Braca: (as an electronic signal begins to beep sibilantly) Ah - that'll be him now.

John: (to ro-NA as she trots to another console near where he is seated) You do NOT get the toaster. (ro-NA stares at him and he continues, to no-one in particular) So. No-one knows where we are.

Braca: Both yours and this vessel have radically altered trans-sequence ident codes, which identify us - as derelict refuelers. (at that moment Scorpius appears via holographic comm and looks directly at Braca and John)

Scorpius: (to John) Inventive. Evasive. In custody. (to Braca) My commendations, Lieutenant Braca. See to it that our - quarry - remains secure.

ro-NA: (her fear overpowered by he greed) I want my payment.

Scorpius: But of course. Lieutenant, reward our Jakensh friend. And at the conclusion of the mission, give her something - additional. From me. (ro-NA gasps with childish pleasure at the mention of "something extra" and takes the credit chip that Braca hands her which she clutches gleefully. Scorpius continues to John again-) Your admirable associate Ka D'Argo was just here to see me. Of course since I have no idea where you are, he left feeling - well - unfulfilled.

John: Why don't you leave me alone Scorpy?

Scorpius: Because the wormhole technology locked in your brain makes you, to my knowledge, unique in the galaxy.

John: (muttering under his breath) Unique.

Scorpius: And unique, is always valuable. Yes. (he signs off comm)

John: (continuing to mutter to himself) Unique. Unique... (he reaches up and flicks at a switch on the consoles around him)

Braca: Stop! Or I will shoot you!

John: Really? (he bounds to his feet and faces Braca) You promise?

Braca: Sit down! (John ignores him) I said - sit down!

John: Or what? You're gonna shoot me?

Braca: If I have to.

John: Do me the favor! I don't think so, you know? I don't think Scorpy's gonna give you your badge of commendation if you shoot "unique."

Braca: Sit down or I'll shoot your limbs off one at a time.

John: Nononono - see - (he points from himself to Braca) Human. Sebacean. Human. Sebacean - we're different - one wound - I bleed out! (mimicking Scorpius' velvety voice) Oh! Officer Braca! What the frell happened? Hm? Hm? Hm? Hm? (he grabs the muzzle of Braca’s gun and jerks it up to his forehead, Braca looks alarmed, PKs don't deal well with crazy people and John is now yowling insanely) Fine! Let's do it then! LET'S DO THIS THING! Come on! Shoot me! Right here! Right here! Come on! (Braca struggles to get his gun away from John's head) Oh, nonono - not the brain, he wants the brain. The heart! (John yanks the muzzle of Braca’s gun down to his chest as ro-NA whimpers) Here! The heart. You should shoot me in the heart! Uuuhhh - kinda - yer left, right - (he yanks the gun back and forth ver his chest), Oh yeah! My right your left! My left your right! (Braca looks frantic, fearful now of accidentally shooting "unique" and unable to get the muzzle of his gun away from John, he even glances at ro-NA for help, but she has never seen a crazy human either and just stands there slack-jawed. John pushes the muzzle of the gun down to his crotch now and roars madly on-) Here! John Wayne Bobbit! Vienna Boys Choir! (he yodels a Tarzan-like imitation of a male soprano) OoOOoohH-waAaAAaaHhHh!

Braca: You're insane!

John: (taking the muzzle of the gun in his hand and screaming wildly at Braca) My sex life! Kill my sex life! Now! Quick! Shoot! Just shoot! (by now Braca is completely psyched out and doesn't know what to do. John takes advantage of his discombobulation to push hard on the gun, sending it and Braca sprawling. He mutters "Pussy" as he then walks over to the console near ro-NA and starts pressing buttons. The Jakensh now makes a move towards him and John spins about, holding his finger to his throat as if it were a gun and says in a gangster voice-) Get back ! Get back or da white boy gets it! (ro-NA jumps back and he whines in a patsy voice-) Man, don't let him kill me! Don't let him- (ro-NA flees and John turns back to messing with the control consoles) You people are so dumb!

Braca: (he's struggling to regain control of the situation and now aims his weapon at John again) Sit down! (this time John willingly sits - at a control console where he starts pressing buttons like a child pretending to type. The ship lurches and lights begin to flash, Braca yells at ro-NA-) What's he done?

ro-NA: I don't - don't know (she tries to see what systems John is hitting) Coolant - um - cyclic fuel generation, generators, cabling, weapons priming-

Braca: (alarmed) Weapons priming? Shut them down! (he lunges for John and manages to throw him out of the seat. John trots a short distance away and watches as Braca shouts to ro-NA) Shut the weapons down!

John: (as ro-NA wails, paralyzed with fear) OH-OH-OH! SHUT 'EM DOWN YOURSELF BRACA! SHUT 'EM DOWN YOURSELF! (the reason for the panic quickly becomes apparent. Activation of the weapons has blown the cargo ships cover and activated the automated defense system of the Royal Planet which now blares its warning over comm- "Undeclared Craft. You have engaged weaponry in a tactical free zone surrounding the Royal Planet. Power down your weapons and identify yourself immediately" As the message repeats, lights flash and ro-NA squeals John happily offers to help out by answering the planets hail signal-) EXCUSE ME - SHOULD I GET THIS?

Braca: Stay away from the comms! GET AWAY FROM THE COMMS! (he pushes ro-NA) I said get Crichton!

John: (egging on the chaos by putting on his crazy act again) Aw - maaaannn! (outside intercept ships from the planet rise and surround the cargo ship and he howls madly) WE'RE SO SCREWED MAN! WE'RE GONNA DIE! (the interceptors begin firing on the cargo ship which becomes a maelstrom of explosions, screaming and flying sparks as John whoops it up. He grabs ro-NA and carries her off, doing a little dance as he goes and pushes her against a wall. She gets the toaster after all as she is electrocuted by damaged circuitry and fries rather horribly. Braca then comes for John, perhaps thinking to grab him and make an escape, or perhaps just for revenge, but his cold PK sense of order is no match for a human who believes he's about to die and is having his last hurrah. John attacks Braca and soon overpowers him, gun or no gun)

Braca: You're insane!

John: What? You just figured that out? I thought that was common knowledge!

Braca: We have got to get out of here NOW!

John: Really? ALL RIGHT THEN! (he yanks Braca to his feet and slams him against the glass of the space door through which they had entered the ship)

Braca: Do you want us both to die?

John: You didn't think I was gonna go alone did ya? (ah but Braca isn't completely without resources - he gets hold of a space helmet bear the door and deals John a heavy blow with it, John staggers backwards)

Braca: Bye, Crichton - The ship's yours, and I've got the helmet! (he claps the helmet on and opening the airlock steps out of it and into space where he'll likely be rescued by one of the interceptor ships or the expected Marauder. He leaves John howling with frustration and alone on the damaged and dying ship. With no audience to play to the insanity is gone now and John sprints back into the control area and tries to comm the interceptor ships)

John: This is John Crichton! I'm on the ship! This is John Crichton! (but the comm panel shorts out violently and John is forced back. He stops, as if weary, and awaits death. But suddenly, a voice speaks to him and the din around him seems to fade into the distance as its calm, soothing, cadence fills his head. It is the voice of Scorpius)

Voice of Scorpius: Focus, John. Panic is unacceptable. You'll survive.

John: (whispering) No.

Voice of Scorpius: You must survive.

John: (louder) No!

Voice of Scorpius: You've come too far to die. (slowly and resolutely John picks up a gun and walks back to the space door, almost as if he is in a trance)

John: (he pauses in front of the door and says feverishly-) Never get off the boat. Never get off the boat, man! (and with that he hits the door release and with a wail he is sucked out into the vacuum of space as the cargo ship continues to break up. As he tumbles head over heels he pulls the trigger of the gun which acts to propel him a little at a time towards Moya’s transport pod which is still adrift and open to space nearby. With a mighty explosion the Jakenshi cargo ship explodes and the shock wave hurls him the last few yards. He pulls himself across the surface of the pod and in, where he manages to hit the control to repressurize it. He collapses onto the floor of the pod, skin blue and mouth agape as he struggles to breath. When breath finally comes he exhales in a long, agonized scream of pain and despair)

(cut back to Moya. Zhaan is walking the dark corridors of Moya with a flashlight and she is furious)

Zhaan: KAHAYNU! PRESENT YOURSELF! KAHAYNU? I WILL SPEAK WITH YOU NOW! (Kahaynu materializes behind her)

Kahaynu: The spirit of the warrior resides in your priestliness.

Zhaan: (turning to face him) The spirit of an executioner within yours.

Kahaynu: Pointless recrimination. Is there anything else you wish?

Zhaan: As a symbiotic part of Moya, Pilot is trapped. Build him a new ship so he - he does not perish needlessly.

Kahaynu: We are not prepared to do more than we have. I should say goodbye - before it is too late.

Zhaan: This is wrong. I will not allow this! (she charges Kahaynu but he swirls into insubstantial mist and she passes right through the spot where he stood. He then rematerializes and looks back at her over his shoulder with a slight smile on his face)

(cut back to the Royal Planet. John has made his way back and is laying on a couch in a dim palace room with an oxygen mask over his face. He looks exhausted. D'Argo enters)

D'Argo: I've uh, spoken to the Empress John. She's not going to do anything.

John: 3 near death experiences in a day and she's going to do nothing.

D'Argo: The Empress has put Scorpius on notice. The Scarran too. Her son. Everyone. Security is so tight that last night they burst into my room just as Chiana was, ah - screaming...

John: (sitting up and taking off the oxygen mask) I'm tired of this.

D'Argo: It's all politics John. As a neutral, powerful kingdom, they expel someone during coronation it will have negative consequences which will ripple outwards.

John: You know you're starting to sound like an old history professor.

D'Argo: (grudgingly) Rygel's been very... excellent at teaching me.

John: So nothing's changed. Options?

D'Argo: You could run as you did before. Or you could submit. Stay here. Either way, I'll back whatever you do. (Aeryn has come to the doorway of the room and is standing there listening. John silently acknowledges D’Argo’s support with a Guy Friendship Punch and the Luxan gets up to leave so Aeryn can come in)

Aeryn: I'm very proud of you.

John: Really?

Aeryn: (as she sits next to him) Yes.

John: Why?

Aeryn: Being Crichton. The Crichton I always knew.

John: Yeah? (Aeryn makes an affirmative sound) Getting my ass kicked all over the universe.

Aeryn: For getting yourself into a position to get your ass kicked fighting. Resisting. Never giving up.

John: (sounding sad and tired) Aeryn, is there a way off this planet? Have you convinced Scorpius to stop chasing me? The Empress, is she no longer intent on her daughter being heir to the throne?

Aeryn: Those are not good reasons for getting married.

John: (louder, bitterly) Oh I know, bigger picture. Let's say that the idiot son inherits the throne. He starts wars. He makes bad alliances. Millions of people die. (he mumbles softly) 80 cycles. It's not that long of a time.

Aeryn: (angry) Oh, so you've rationalized this all out have you?

John: Aeryn I'm tired. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do when there's no fight left?

Aeryn: You run away.

John: (he touches her hair) With you?

Aeryn: (after a moments pause -) With all of us together. (he touches her hair a moment longer before slowly laying back down on the couch) What? You can't just quit!

John: I'm not quitting. I just can't go on.

Aeryn: Was I wrong? You're no longer the Crichton I knew? (but sometimes a challenge is not a productive thing and John makes no response so she turns and leaves the room, angry)

(cut to soon after - Aeryn passes Dregon at a tailors stall being fitted with a red formal jacket. She stops by him)

Aeryn: I'm exploring the Barren Lands. If you think you can keep up. (Dregon chortles and tossing the jacket to the tailor he gives the man a gleeful smooch and jogs off after Aeryn. We realize the women of the planet are vapid. but what they see in Miss Empathy here we sometimes wonder...)

Back in John's darkened room, he lays curled into a tight ball on his bed. But he is restless with the inescapable dread of his situation. He sits up on the edge of the bed and desolate, buries his face in his hands.

(cut back to Moya where Zhaan stands next to Pilot in the darkness of his Den. She is stroking his face as he sits dying, her cheek pressed against his)

Pilot: (his voice is soft and weak, like a sick child falling asleep) Moya has slipped from my consciousness. She is gone... and I am shortly to follow. (Zhaan takes a deep shaky breath and Pilot moves to comfort her by laying one great claw gently on her shoulder and neck) Don't feel sad. Our lives were good. Moya is right - we are - fulfilled.

Zhaan: Pilot, it has been a pleasure.

Pilot: I am ready now. I have seen the stars... (Zhaan kisses his forehead and he sighs as he seems to slip into unconsciousness)

(meanwhile back on the Royal Planet the joyous nups of John and Katralla are about to get underway at last. The various invitees are assembling in a large chamber in the palace. There is no music. In fact the quiet is positively funereal. John enters as unceremoniously as any ordinary guest and seeing Prince Clavor standing there looking sour in his red formal wear, takes special care to make him feel welcome)

John: Hey bro. Glad to see you could make it. (Clavor gives him a resentful glare and walks away. He is replaced by Jena, who's looking glamorously grim in a silver tiara)

Jena: (she offers a quick mazeltov that sounds more like a condolence) Much fortune. (and she quickly steps away. John starts to cross the room amid the hushed tones of his wedding guests. The Empress stands at the far end. Scorpius approaches him)

Scorpius: You're ah - making a mistake Crichton.

John: (stopping) Oh, I don't think so, Scorpy. I had one request for a wedding present; that you be banned from this planet forever. You know what they said? (he looks directly at Scorpius) 'Yes, Your Highness.'

Scorpius: (ever inscrutable. he bobs his head and looks down as if embarrassed and says-) Oh.

Now John's attention is attracted by a few soft tones and Katralla enters the room on the arm of an older man. Both are dressed in rich red robes and the crowd parts as they cross the floor to where John stands near the Empress. As Katralla and the man advance the guests, including Tyno and Scorpius are obliged to drop to one knee in obeisance to her. John makes to do the same as she nears him, but the Empress stops him.

Empress Novia: Not you. (he straightens and stands at the Empress' right while he watches Princess Katralla be led by the man around the room where she touches the hands of the attendees and the Empress proceeds to officiate the marriage) In the presence of the Spirit of all who have sacrificed so that we may rule ourselves in peace, I call public the joining of my daughter and her betrothed in the sacred ceremony that shall ensure compassionate governance and harmony. Should any one among you feel cause to sway the will of love. To question the ability, the sincerity, or the destiny of this union, rise now, and be heard. (Princess Katralla comes to stand on the Empress' left and there is a long pause. No-one says a peep although there are a lot of disappointed, pained and wary facial expressions among the gathering) With your silence as benediction, I invite you to now rise and witness the crux of power pass from one generation to the next. (to John and Katralla) You will now be wed. (she steps away from between them and tosses Scorpius a smug smile . Scorpius growls silently. Meanwhile, John, who looks dubious to say the least, has his hand loosely bound to Katralla’s with a red silky ribbon before facing the Empress for their vows. The scene fast-forwards to the final pronouncement) It is more obligation than honour. You are not only responsible for each other but for the lives of your subjects. Do you accept this burden in matrimony?

Princess Katralla: (as she gazes at John) Without hesitation.

John: (as he stares dully at the Empress) Without hesitation.

Empress Novia: (she removes the red ribbon from their hands) As Reigning Monarch, it gives me great pleasure to formally introduce our Successors - the future Empress and Regent of this great and peaceful civilization - Katralla! And John.

Rygel: (also in formal red and quite possibly the only guest who enjoyed this, mutters to himself) Oh magnificent! I smell power again! (meanwhile Katralla kisses her groom lightly on the lips - when he doesn't seem to reciprocate she whispers into his ear-)

Princess Katralla: Pieces of different kindling often build the strongest fire. (John cocks his head dubiously as Katralla turns to embrace the Empress) Thank you. (she then goes to embrace her guests and John walks over to Chiana and D'Argo)

Chiana: (looking better than Rygel in formal red, she tries to be upbeat) Hey - you were great! (John ignores her)

John: Where was she D'Argo?

D'Argo: You must forget about Aeryn, John.

John: (he hands them a small datachip) I recorded some messages - um - Zhaan, Pilot and Aeryn.

Chiana: Yeah, I'll make sure they get them.

John: Thanks.

Chiana: Yeah - I love you. (she hugs John)

John: (smiling with the sort of pleasure one would have hoped he felt at his embrace with Katralla) I know.

D'Argo: (awkward with his emotions and joking, also trying to be upbeat) All right, all right! Enough with the kissing and the cuddling! (and at that moment they are interrupted by Princess Katralla who has now mounted a pedestal over which arches the open framework of a machine similar to the one that created projections of John and Katralla’s future child)

Princess Katralla: (she calls across the room to him) John! I will stand beside you for 80 cycles with love in my heart, and long for the day when we may revive. (John nods and smiles tightly and with that Princess Katralla raises her chin in a regal pose and the machine is activated. A beam of light engulfs her and she hardens into a dark blueish-grey statue as the wedding guests applaud)

John: (softly) Whoa. (he eyes D'Argo, who just echoes)

D'Argo: Whoa.

Tyno: (he's standing behind John and says to him) It's calibrated only for Sebaceans. Endure the pain. But rule wisely. (he pats John shoulder and leaves. John gazes after him for a moment and then tubs his temples with one hand as if he's just developed a splitting headache)

D'Argo: The time has come for farewells my friend.

John: (in no mood for lugubrious farewells, he starts toward the machine) Aw - this is not happening - just feel free to wake me up any time D'Argo.

D'Argo: (following him) Well now I can only speak truth. And that comes as good and bad news.

John: (he turns to face D'Argo as he steps up onto the pedestal next to Katralla) All right. Give me the bad news first.

D'Argo: The bad news is that you're married, and must endure as a statue for 80 cycles in a strange world.

John: What's the good news.

D'Argo: Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.

John looks at D'Argo in disbelief for a moment before starting to laugh. He and D'Argo continue to laugh and John throws up his arms is a whoop at the moment the statue-making machine is activated. The whoop becomes a scream of agony as he is forced to his knees by the merciless light of the machine. He is frozen like that, in blue-grey, next to the serene Princess. On his knees, one arm raised as if to shield himself, his face contorted with pain. The wedding guests clap politely. D'Argo stops laughing and sighs sadly.

TO BE CONTINUED

Part 3 (The Maltese Crichton)
The episode opens on the Royal Planet of the Breakaway Colonies soon after the wedding of John and Katralla and their transformation into statues. They stand, flanked by guards, in the senate chamber where they were wed. By some weird alien technology they are still able to see and hear and will witness the workings of the Colonies government for 80 cycles before taking over the rule themselves. Chiana, D'Argo, Rygel and Tyno, all still clad in the red finery they wore for the wedding, enter the chamber and approach them.

D'Argo: They look sooo...

Chiana: Stiff!

Rygel: (critiquing John) I think he should have taken his pose more seriously.

Tyno: I believe he did the best he could.

D'Argo: So what happens now?

Tyno: For them? 80 cycles of government. Boring, but ultimately advantageous.

Chiana: And what do we do?

Tyno: Scorpius has been asked to leave our system within the solar day. Once his Command Carrier vacates -

D'Argo: We hope that Moya returns and picks us up.

Chiana: You really gonna stay, Ryg?

Rygel: (with a chuckle) Why not? Crichton will need advising and the food's good.

D'Argo: So he can hear us?

Tyno: Every word. The acoustics of this chamber funnel all sounds to them.

D'Argo: Let me say good-bye.

Tyno: I'll wait outside. (he exits. D'Argo has a speaker which he holds to his ear and through which he can hear John's responses)

D'Argo: John.

John: Hey D'Argo.

D'Argo: (to Chiana and Rygel) He can hear us - (back to John) Do you feel any pain?

John: (sounding sulky and wistful) No. But I'd really love to pick my nose.

D'Argo: (chuckling as he reports John's response back to the others) He remains without a sense of humor. (back to John) It's good to hear your voice John.

John: Yours too. Hey can I say hi to Chiana?

D'Argo: (he passes the speaker earpiece to her) Chiana.

Chiana: You look great in bronze.

John: You look great in pink. Brings out your eyes. (well all right - the red of the clothing IS moderated by pink bits- Chiana giggles delightedly)

(the scene fades and night falls over the senate chamber. There are no guards present to watch over John and Katralla as Prince Clavor storms in, shouting and swinging his arms about in effetely ineffectual rage)

Prince Clavor: (shouting at Cargn who isn't far behind him) FRELL! FRELL! FRELL! I'm gonna topple his statue! (he grabs hold of John the Statue and pulls, grunting feebly) I SHOULD BE REGENT! (but John the Statue remains solidly immobile, so he punches it, which makes a metallic clang and the Prince squeaks in pitiful misery as he nurses his bruised knuckles)

Cargn: While enormously symbolic, Your Highness, may I propose a more permanent tactic?

Prince Clavor: (smarting and furious) WHAT?

And without a word, Cargn aims a laser at John the Statues head and neatly severs it. It falls into the hands of the Prince, who, after a moment of revulsion, looks at he head of John and smiles with pleasure.

(cut to a foundry room which is dominated by a huge vat of bubbling green acid. Chains dangle from the rafters and flames from furnaces are the main illumination. Cargn and Clavor have brought the head of John the Statue here)

Cargn: Are you sure he's still alive?

Prince Clavor: Of course. Each cell is self-encapsulated. As long as the parts stay in their metallized state, he can be reconstituted.

Cargn: Very impressive.

Prince Clavor: My great-grandfather was broken in half when the senate collapsed after a groundshaker. All he suffered was a severe limp. (he giggles)

Cargn: Foundry acid should ensure this ruler fares worse. (he makes to toss the head of John the Statue into the acid vat)

Prince Clavor: (excited) Nonononono! Give it to me! Give it to me! (Cargn hands the head over and Clavor, chortling with sadistic glee, addresses John) I know you can hear me - Crichton - and I know you're scared. Our laws state that a couple must rule together. Mm? That's why the crown must soon pass to me, because you can't rule with one little head! (and with that he hurls John's head into the acid where it floats and then begins to smoke as the acid does its work)

(cut to the Barren Lands outside the royal city. Here is where Aeryn has chosen to come "exploring" rather than face John's shotgun wedding. And Just for spite she's dragged along the handsome cousin to the crown, Dregon. They're setting out on a little rock-climbing excursion on the cliffs of a seashore)

Aeryn: (the wind whips her and Dregon's hair as they don their rock-climbing gear) I propose that we start here and traverse around.

Dregon: Excellent.

Aeryn: (a little put off by his interminable niceness perhaps) Are you always this agreeable?

Dregon: Am I being agreeable?

Aeryn: Well, everything I've suggested - since the moment we met - you've consented to.

Dregon: (agreeably) They've all been good ideas.

Aeryn: (as she helps Dregon buckle into his safety harness) And your proficiency at this is-?

Dregon: (flirting) I've been rated expert.

Aeryn: Really. (Dregon suddenly takes her in his arms and deftly dips her for a passionate kiss before just as deftly returning her to an upright position - her reaction is typically stony) Mm. That's clearly a local custom. What's this one called, "kiss your climbing partner"?

Dregon: Different local custom. "Kiss woman you're attracted to."

Aeryn: (flattered, but quickly changing the subject) All right. You ready?

(cut back to the senate chamber where the decapitated John the Statue has been discovered. The Empress is in a rage. Chiana, D'Argo and Rygel are present and looking grim. Tyno wisely remains silent in the face of his infuriated monarch)

Empress Novia: Whoever perpetrated this atrocity shall pay in kind - beheaded!

D'Argo: Surely you don't think-

Empress Novia: SILENCE! This planet is under stringent law until my daughters husband is made whole. No one is to leave, or even contact their vessels, whether they purport to be a friend of the crown or NOT! (she storms from the chamber followed closely by her anxious entourage)

Tyno: (he steps forward now) Where is the one called Aeryn Sun? The former Peacekeeper.

Rygel: (in despair) We don't know!

Tyno: She was upset that Crichton was to marry the Princess. I saw it with my own eyes.

D'Argo: You can't possibly -

Tyno: I can't possibly not! (intensely) Find her. Bring her to us for questioning.

Rygel: (vehemently) If you want someone with a motive for stealing Crichtons head, try that vigelar - Scorpius!

Tyno: Everyone is suspect, especially offworlders. If Prince Clavor assumes the throne, I cannot guarantee your safety. (Rygel whimpers) Find your friend's head!

(cut back to the foundry and the vat of bubbling green acid. The head of John the Statue is still floating in it, intact. We have some pure acetone nail polish remover that's deadlier than THIS stuff! But editorial comment aside, John's head is being fished out of the vat with a tool that looks like a really big deep-fat fryer spoon by a rescuer he probably finds something less than comforting. Scorpius)

Scorpius: (addressing John as he picks up his head and examines it) Very fortunate I sampled your DNA when you were in the Aurora Chair. There would have been no other way to track you Crichton. Note the crystallization of your cells was designed to withstand 80 cycles of airborne corrosives. It seems - 3 arns - Well, your full-on acid attack is all it takes. You're beginning to pit. And while I won't be able to retrieve your body, I promise yo- the wormhole calculations you have in your mind - (but at that moment he's interrupted by a clank of chains and a scraping sound in the dark foundry) Who's there? (a harsh, guttural voice responds, echoing his query)

Harsh voice: Who's there? (and with that shots are fired and Scorpius is thrown to the floor by the blasts)

(cut to Moya, essentially dead somewhere out in the void. At least one DRD is still active though, and it is helping Zhaan do some sort of work at Aeryn’s Prowler. Kahaynu swirls into view behind her)

Kahaynu: You should use one of Moya’s transport pods instead of that, Little One.

Zhaan: What do you care what I do?

Kahaynu: All life is precious. Yours should continue.

Zhaan: (with deep resentment) And Moya’s shouldn't?

Kahaynu: We have been through this. Moya can produce gunship offspring. We did not intend the universe to be subjected to that affliction. I'm sorry. I must leave now. (he turns to go and the smoke of his being starts to swirl up around him)

Zhaan: No! Kahaynu! If Moya’s life is to end capriciously - and Pilots also - you and I are going to remain with them!

Kahaynu: Doubtful.

Zhaan: ((with grim determination) DRD - NOW! In reverse! (the DRD activates the engine of the Prowler and Kahaynu’s insubstantial mist is trapped by the intake)

Kahaynu: (struggling against the force of the pull) What? Stop this!

Zhaan: Recommission Moya.

Kahaynu: I cannot. I will not! Turn the engine off!

Zhaan: (vehemently) I will spare you if you spare Moya.

Kahaynu: Stop! I beg you!

Zhaan: (deadly) How does it feel for your prayers to go unanswered Kahaynu? (and with a long. sigh, Kahaynu is drawn into the engine and disappears. The engine powers down and in the silence, Zhaan murmurs to herself-) Dear Goddess. In my rage, what have I done?

(cut back to the Royal Planet where the search for John's head goes on. In Chiana and D’Argo’s quarters. Chiana is laying in bed wearing what looks a very high-class chenille robe when D'Argo enters and sits heavily the bed, exhausted)

D'Argo: I cannot find Crichtons head anywhere. I feel miserable.

Chiana: (placing her hands around his beck and shoulders comfortingly) Hey - aren't you tired?

D'Argo: (quietly distraught) Just responsible. I'm the one who talked him into it.

Chiana: We had no other options - you said that yourself. We take what we get.

(cut to the senate chamber. Jena removes a metal mesh covering from the he head of John the Statue and dons a headset so she can hear his voice. Needless to say his state of mind has been better...)

John: (he's screaming wildly) MY BODY! MY BODY!

Jena: (coolly) I'm working on it.

John: Working on it? It's impossible.

Jena: (she strides over to the statue-making machine controls and begins making setting to it) Strangely not. If I do this right, your current state is not terminal.

John: And if not done right?

Jena: Terminal.

John: Get experts.

Jena: We're beyond that, don't you think? You're way too vulnerable in this state - see exhibits A and B. (she gestures to the inert form of a guard and John's own headless statue of a body)

John: Have you got a plan?

Jena: Revitalize you. Your speech abilities are so limited right now you couldn't convince the Empress you're a headless statue. (she picks up John's head)

John: Whoa - nice dress. (it's a 2-piecer consisting of a white midriff-baring halter top and a long white hip-slung skirt with 2 front slits that go to her upper thigh)

Jena: (she briskly marches John's head back to where the rest of his body still sits on the pedestal next to Katralla) Save it. When the Empress sees you my true fiancé and his Scarran will be in deep dren. Then you can be remade into a statue.

John: That's not much of a plan.

Jena: (she unceremoniously thunks John's head back down onto his neck with a metallic clang) Well, if the parts are aligned right - (she adjusts the position his head and there's the sound of screeching metal. John yelps and grunts) - the machine should do the rest.

John: (panicky) Whoawhoawhoawhoa! Hey-ey-ey-ey! Waitwaitwaitwait! Just a second! HEY! COME BACK! (but she ignores him and activates the machine. Golden light burns through John's body, removing the metal from his cells and suddenly he is John the Man again, still locked in his flailing pose. He groans and seems afraid to dare move his stiff muscles)

Jena: (cautiously, as though fearful his head might fall off) Can you turn your neck? (with a barely audible moan, that suggests he might be worried about that too - he turns his head ever so slightly and gingerly) Can you speak?

John: Thank you.

Jena: Can you walk? (with much inarticulate grunting and groaning John makes to step off the pedestal and falls flat on his face at her feet, Jena rolls her eyes)

(later - cut to a garden on the palace grounds, Cargn and Prince Clavor are speaking. Clavor is agitated and Cargn is annoyed, as usual)

Cargn: I told you! It's best if we're not seen together until after you're married and assume the line of succession!

Prince Clavor: You mean IF I do! Crichtons body is gone! Someone used the processor to revitalize him!

Cargn: Without his head, is that really a concern?

Prince Clavor: They're still reconstructing the data but it seems - THROUGH A GREAT FRELL UP - That his head was attached at the time!

Cargn: Someone retrieved his head?

Prince Clavor: Do something O Magnificent Representative of a supposedly master race, or you will surely die at my mothers hand! And I - I will cheer her on! (he storms away as Cargn stares at his retreating back, growling and exhaling his hellishly hot breath)

(cut back to Aeryn and Dregon out in the Barren Lands. Aeryn has attained the top of the sea cliffs and calls back to Dregon who is still on the cliff face, struggling to find footing)

Aeryn: Dregon, what's wrong?

Dregon: (lying, as the rock beneath his feet crumbles away into the surf below) Nothing.

Aeryn: I've secured it. You can come up now. Are your lines stuck? (no response, Dregon's busy hanging on for dear life) I'm coming down.

Dregon: It's okay. I'm... (there's a long pause as he looks down and pebbles skitter down the face of the cliff) ...just...

Aeryn: Dregon? Are you injured?

Dregon: We're too high!

Aeryn: Wot? (Dregon is frozen on the cliff, too overcome by the rocks and surging tide far below to move) You've done this before, haven't you? Is that right? You were rated "expert," correct?

Dregon: (sheepish) At the training facility.

Aeryn: This is your first wall?

Dregon: Yeah. - outside.

Aeryn: For the love of Chilnack... All right - hang on. (she rappels down to him) All right, grab my hand. (he remains frozen) Dregon, just grab my hand. (he reaches for her and is able to catch hold of her outstretched hand) Good. Good. All right - (Dregon pulls at her desperately) NO!

Dregon: (he stops pulling but is panting with fear) Help me - please - don't let me fall.

Aeryn: I won't. It's fine. All you have to do is hold on with that hand there - that left hand. Can you do that? You got it? Take a deep - (Dregon loses his foothold and hoots with terror as he struggles to regain it) - TAKE A DEEP BREATH! (he stabilizes himself again on the cliff face) Tale a deep breath - that's it. All right, now hold on. I've got you. (but he moves his foot and panics again as more pebbles roll away beneath it. He grabs at Aeryn’s ankle frantically) NONONONO! NOT MY LEG! THE WALL! HOLD ON TO THE WAAAALLLLL! (and with that, Dregon falls from the cliff face, pulling Aeryn with him, and into the surf crashing among the rocks at its base)

(cut to Jena and John. She has removed him from the royal city to a shelter consisting of an open tent pitched over a shallow trench in a remote wooded area near a small river)

John: (groggy) Where the hell are we?

Jena: Don't worry about it. Somewhere no one will find you.

John: That was not my question. (Jena hops down into the trench. John is laying on its floor, and she delivers a kick to his ribs, hard enough to hurt but light enough not to cause real damage. John yelps and grunts)

Jena: Is that your real name? John Crichton?

John: Yeah.

Jena: (she urgently grabs him and flips him over onto his back) And which Sebacean house is that from?

John: (flat on his back) Hey you know if I tell you - I'll have to kill you.

Jena: (she reaches down and slaps him as she yanks him into a semi-sitting position) Why is Scorpius here?

John: You don't know?

Jena: He's not part of my brief. However, he seems to be a part of yours.

John: Look, I appreciate that you have questions. I'm sure you'll appreciate that I'm not going to answer them. (he starts to lie back down but Jena yanks him upright again)

Jena: I heard some of what Scorpius said. He wasn't protecting you as an ally. He was capturing you as prey.

John: You wouldn't like the truth.

Jena: (she shoves him back down) The data scan listed John Crichton as non-Sebacean. So - if you're not Sebacean, you're not Peacekeeper. If you're not Peacekeeper, you're not Special Directorate. If you're not Special Directorate, you can't be a Disrupter. And if you're not a Disrupter, then you know too much about me. (and with a metallic clang, she unsheathes from her sleeve a long thin knife which she puts to John's throat)

(cut to soon after, Jena has John in a headlock with her blade to his throat and he's been telling her his story)

John: Well, there's more, but that pretty much sums it up. Yeah.

Jena: That is either the most pathetic fabrication I've ever heard, or the most pathetic life I could ever imagine. Either way-

John: Oh like there aren't some whacked out antecedents to a chick with the stiletto in her wrist. (Jena, satisfied John is pathetic and no threat, sheathes her blade. John moves away from her) Better. So, did you kill Scorpy?

Jena: Leave bodies lying around? They'd look for a killer. It's not like he's going to report the assault.

John: Then why choose me over him?

Jena: Because I couldn't give a crags ass about anything but my job. Prevent the Scarrans from getting a claw on this empire. You're my best chance of making that happen.

John: Assuming I'm willing to play garden gnome for the next 80 cycles.

Jena: (after a long pause) John - if I fail, so many innocent lives will be lost. Help me do my job, and I'll help you get what you want. Whatever it is.

John: You know things never work out like you plan.

Jena: (smiling) That's what makes it fun.

(cut back to the Barren Lands. Aeryn has managed to fish herself and Dregon out of the surf. But he is badly hurt and laying on the beach, seemingly unable to move. Aeryn has broken her right lower leg as well, but she's splinted it and is walking on it, as she collects rope to make a litter for Dregon. Both are battered ad bloody)

Dregon: Isn't there any other way to contact help?

Aeryn: Not unless a ship passes - and sees us.

Dregon: I told you before, these are the Devastator Reefs. Boats never come here.

Aeryn: (as she pulls a knife and begins to cut rope) Well then, inland is our only hope. Unless of course you want to stay.

Dregon: Please, don't leave me.

Aeryn: (she angrily shakes her knife at him ) Don't tempt me!

(cut back to Moya. She is dark and silent. Zhaan is with Pilot in his Den. She is anointing his still form with oil in last rites)

Zhaan: May the Goddess recognize the gentleness of your spirit - and guide you to your ancestors. (and as she bows her head in sorrow, she is suddenly illuminated by light as Kahaynu appears)

Kahaynu: (expansively) Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan.

Zhaan: (disgusted) You live.

Kahaynu: As does Moya. (and with that, lights come on and the sounds of Moya’s biosystems powering up fill the Chamber. Pilot too, blinks and comes slowly to life)

Zhaan: What kind of repellent game is this?

Kahaynu: Upon my first exploration of Moya, I knew the circumstances that produced her gunship offspring. And I knew she was a worthy soul.

Zhaan: Then why did you put her through this?

Kahaynu: To see if you were worthy. These are gentle beasts, who will ultimately follow the directions of those in control. Should you desire it, Priestess, you could produce an army of killing machines.

Pilot: (weakly) But Zhaan would never -

Kahaynu: Of course she wouldn't. We know that now. We are confident that you will protect Moya vigorously against those who seek to exploit her. You are worthy of that responsibility.

Zhaan: If that is so, then I demand you leave this ship immediately!

Kahaynu: As you wish. But first, Moya wishes to speak with you. (he raises a hand and the deep, slow feminine voice of Moya once again fills the air)

Moya: Zhaan. One request -

Zhaan: Anything Moya!

Moya: Sing! (Zhaan chuckles for joy and relief)

(cut back to the Royal Planet, the reception area/lounge where the kissing ball our heroes attended on the first day they arrived had been held. D'Argo enters - he's meeting with Scorpius who is waiting at a bar)

Scorpius: It's good that you came.

D'Argo: Do you know where Crichton is?

Scorpius: Honestly? No. But I'm as anxious to find him as you are.

D'Argo: For his wormhole knowledge.

Scorpius: Hm. That's secondary at this point. I'm without accompaniment. Totally unarmed. Should the Empress wish to execute us, I have no doubt she would succeed.

D'Argo: (with irony) So now we are allies.

Scorpius: Hm. Effectively - yes. I assume you know Saskaretski Cargn, the Scarran emissary.

D'Argo: And his alliance with Prince Clavor.

Scorpius: Who's next in line for the throne. So - they are our natural suspects.

D'Argo: What do you want Scorpius?

Scorpius: I will help you get Crichton off this planet alive. Collect the information I need from his mind, and release him to you. Unharmed.

D'Argo: You're half Scarran aren't you?

Scorpius: By which measure I should not be judged. (and at that moment their meeting is interrupted by the harsh voice of Cargn who joins them with a caustic answer to Scorpius' statement. D'Argo hisses and puts some distance between him and the Scarran)

Cargn: Because it would find him lacking! (he pushes past Scorpius and quickly moves to ingratiate himself with D'Argo, who stops) Ka D'Argo is it? Luxan. A great race of warriors. I am honored. (turning back to Scorpius) And to you - biological mistake - I commend your plan. Having an agent marry the Princess. How did you defeat my DNA alterations of her?

D'Argo: Scorpius is not in league with Crichton. We despise him.

Cargn: Truly, have I misjudged the situation that badly?

Scorpius: Even if you established diplomatic ties with this dynasty, that would mean that we - Peacekeepers - would have to respond. Preventing it. And that would mean a total conflagration.

Cargn: (aggressive) But who would be seen as aggressor, all but sealing their access to the uncharted territories? (and with that he whirls suddenly back to D'Argo and slams him with a blast of heat and a Scarran mind probe. D'Argo yelps with alarm but is held in the Scarrans sway) Luxan brute! Where is Crichton?

D'Argo: I don't know!

Cargn: Has he been reconstituted into flesh and blood form?

D'Argo: (even the heat-loving Luxan is in pain from Cargn's assault) Aahh! I don't know!

Cargn: Is there anyone who does?

D'Argo: Chiana - thinks she does, but -

Cargn: Enough! (he releases D'Argo, who collapses to the floor gasping)

Scorpius: (calmly, to Cargn) I will offer you a deal.

Cargn: I would rather race you to the Nebari girl, Chiana.

Scorpius: The means to our different goals may be the same, emissary.

Cargn: What about the coming conflagration between our species?

Scorpius: If you wish to provoke Peacekeeper might - well - we shall oblige. By defeating you.

Cargn: I would still rather race you to the girl. (he exits)

(cut back to the Barren Lands where Aeryn is dragging Dregon on a crude travois made of rope and driftwood across a landscape of dunes and rough grass)

Dregon: (wailing) Please!

Aeryn: (stopping and looking back at him impatiently) Please? Stop dragging you?

Dregon: No - but it -

Aeryn: I know. It hurts. (Dregon whimpers affirmatively) Do you want it to not hurt? (Dregon whimpers affirmatively again) Well, next time...hold on to the FRELLING WALL! (and with a most unladylike grunt of exertion she digs her own makeshift crutch into the dirt and heaves his litter along behind her)

(cut to later - back at the lounge where D'Argo had his earlier disastrous encounter with Cargn and Scorpius. He rushes back in now and spots Rygel)

D'Argo: Rygel!

Rygel: (startled and looking unwell) Huh?

D'Argo: Have you seen Chiana?

Rygel: No. Have you tried - (he hiccups) - looking under your sheets?

D'Argo: (in a low, urgent tone) I think that Scorpius and the Scarran may have her. They think she knows where John and Aeryn are.

Rygel: Well we were looking together when she (he hiccups again) - split off.

D'Argo: Yeah?

Rygel: (shaky) I'm so nervous I had to stop for a bite - (hiccup) - Which I'm too nervous to eat!

D'Argo: All right, what's the matter?

Rygel: I asked around. The last time the Empress threatened to execute offworlders (he hiccups again and finishes in a squeak) - she did!

D'Argo: Rygel I need your help. They're going to torture her, and she doesn't know anything! (this would be a tribute to both the power and the shortcomings of Scarran mind-probes wouldn't it? People will say anything to escape it and thus the info gotten is not necessarily accurate. Torturers take note...)

Rygel: I'll float above the streets for a better view.

D'Argo: Yes! Yes. (he bounds out)

Rygel: (gallantly) We'll find her!

(cut to a pleasant garden on the palace grounds. Prince Clavor rounds a bend leading to a gazebo and stops short. Cargn is standing there with the inert form of Chiana slung over his shoulders)

Prince Clavor: What the frell is that?

Cargn: She does not know Crichtons whereabouts - as I suspected.

Prince Clavor: (shrugging) So get rid of her.

Cargn: I believe she may have another use.

Prince Clavor: I don't even want to know. Cargn - we're through. Everything you said would pass, has not. (he makes to turn away but Cargn shrugs Chiana off his shoulders like an unwanted coat and stops him)

Cargn: I'm simply trying to ensure your ascension. If Crichton is not found by tomorrow, you will be crowned.

Prince Clavor: Through no efforts of yours sadly. Which means - I no longer need your allegiance.

Cargn: The dissolution of our relationship is not yours to effect.

Prince Clavor: Look - my mother knows about us. I can't be married till I renounce you.

Cargn: (dangerous) I will not allow it.

Prince Clavor: I'm doing you a favor. Mm? She's going to start the ceremony by executing offworlders. Get out of here. Hide. Run.

Cargn: There's no way for me to escape and you know it.

Prince Clavor: (insolent) And I thought - you were good. (he turns to leave)

Cargn: I am. (he raises his hand to the position used for mind-control) I have one final question for you, duplicitous Prince Clavor.

Prince Clavor: What? (he turns back and is instantly immobilized by the intense heat and control of Cargn)

Cargn: Do you know, that as promised, I am about to kill you?

Prince Clavor: (screaming) NOOOOO! (and he sinks to the ground, his cooked body steaming)

Cargn: Yeesss...

(cut back to the wooded area where Jena and John are hiding out while John recovers from his brief ordeal as a statue. John has shed the fancy red silky jacket and is walking around in a black muscle tee. Jena is in a black spaghetti strap tank top now)

John: Just a little tingling in the hands and feet. I'm good to go.

Jena: Too late. Local animals are carnivorous after dark.

John: Animals. Okay. Fine. First light. I have people to protect.

Jena: As I must mine. Can I trust you?

John: Oh yeah, I'm a regular boy scout. I do what I have to do.

Jena: And I assume you do it well.

(and after that cryptic little conversation we cut back to the palace where Scorpius comes to the door of Chiana and D’Argo’s room. D'Argo looks up)

Scorpius: I uh - I have found Cargn. It will take both of us to kill him. Scarrans have exceptional strength.

D'Argo: And why do you think I'll help you?

Scorpius: He has Chiana. And you want her.

D'Argo: And you don't?

Scorpius: I want John Crichton.

D'Argo: You'll never get Crichton. He'll die first.

Scorpius: You underestimate the strength of a relationship. Even your friend - does not yet understand.

(cut back to Jena and John. Evidently those carnivorous animals aren't aquatic because they are skinny-dipping in the dark and seem to be enjoying themselves rather muchly. Upon exiting the water they wrap themselves in black towels and sit near a little campfire)

Jena: I want you to have this. (she holds up the stone form the necklace she was wearing and aims it - it emits a bolt of energy that causes a small explosion a few yards away) A little stuns, and a lot kills. Tomorrow will be dangerous. Scorpius, Cargn, the Empress' anger. Be careful. I might not be able to protect you.

John: On step at a time, Jena. One step at a time. (they kiss)

(meanwhile Aeryn and Dregon are camped for the night as well. It's a lot less romantic)

Dregon: I'm sorry I - brought this on you.

Aeryn: Do you always pursue women you don't know?

Dregon: If I'm drawn to them. Would you be lying here, helpless - giving up, if Crichton were back there waiting for you?

Aeryn: You wouldn't understand.

Dregon: Does your leg hurt? It's broken.

Aeryn: I'm trained to deal with that.

Dregon: That's the answer. You're not trained to deal with emotions, so you're afraid of them. Emotional pain. You wear it like a badge. It means you've been there. And it can't get callused, because each fresh hurt stings like the first.

Aeryn: But why would you want that?

Dregon: Because of all the days before it hurts. The good days. When you're in love. It's too bad you can't get back to at least tell Crichton how you feel.

Aeryn: (bitterly) What difference would it make? He's a frelling statue.

Dregon: But he can hear. He can see. He'll know Aeryn. At least he'll know.

(cut to the next day. Jena and John have crept back into the palace. Jena is back in her white palace clothes and is walking through a dim public space. John's voice stops her and he moves out of the shadows, he's dressed in his habitual Moya clothes)

John: You're late.

Jena: (with a slight smile) I'm moving a little slow.

John: Are you ready to do this?

Jena: I've grieved with the best of them.

John: All right. Showtime.

Jena: I hope it all works out.

John: One way or the other. (Jena proffers a vial of the compatibility serum) We're not compatible.

Jena: (without taking her eyes off John she flicks the vial away with a whoosh) You always know just what to say.

John: Not always. But sometimes I know who to say it to.

Jena: (she strides off with a little smile) Give me some time before you enter.

(cut back to Aeryn and Dregon on the dunes. She's holding onto her makeshift crutch with both hands and pulling the dead weight of Dregon’s litter which she has harnessed to herself. She grunts with the exertion of every step)

Dregon: Aeryn!

Aeryn: What?!

Dregon: Look! (Aeryn looks up to see a man standing on the crest of a dune ahead - it's the fuzzy-haired guy she blew off at the kissing ball by pretending to be compatible with Rygel)

Fuzzy-haired Guy: (calling) HELLOOOO! HELLO! DO YOU NEED HELP? (he recognizes Aeryn) Oh - STAY THERE, I'LL COME AND GET YOU.

Aeryn: (her humiliation with men is now complete. She throws down her stick and blurts-) Yotz!

Dregon: Aeryn, this...I know this didn't turn out like we wanted. I know I was a hindrance. But I was hoping - we could go out again? (no - NOW her humiliation is complete. She grimaces)

(cut back to the royal palace where Prince Clavor’s blistered body is laid out on a slab in a small black-walled room. Rygel and Tyno are present as Jena emotes)

Jena: (sobbing disconsolately) No! No this can't be!

Tyno: (stonily) I'm sorry Jenavian. There was nothing we could do.

Rygel: (sounding sincerely distraught - for his own skin if not Clavor’s) Surely the Empress knows that this is the Scarrans work. How could she not?

Tyno: (snapping) Of course she does! And he will be the first one put to death!

Rygel: But why the rest of us?

Tyno: Because fool that he was - (to Jena) - no offense - Prince Clavor was her son! You will all be arrested and - executed.

John: (as he enters the room) I feel compelled to disagree with the Empress on that decision.

Rygel: (overjoyed) Crichton? Crichton!

John: Hey Sparky.

Tyno: (also glad to see John) Thank the Spirits!

John: Jena - sorry about your Prince - but I hear he deserved it. (she delivers a resounding slap to his face and runs from the room, sobbing)

Tyno: (excited) Your Excellency! Who defiled your position? Who rescued you?

John: Later. Rygel - what about the others?

Rygel: Nothing on Aeryn - I'm sorry. D'Argo's with Scorpius. They think the Scarran has Chiana. So they're gonna kill him. (John marches out of the room)

Tyno: Crichton! Wait! Where are you going?

John: I don't know. I'll let you know when I get there.

Rygel: (to Tyno) I'm assuming my execution is off.

(cut to the foundry where the earlier attempt to dissolve John's head had been made. Cargn has Chiana there, bound, gagged and suspended over the vat of boiling green acid by two chains. D'Argo and Scorpius enter)

D'Argo: Chiana! (her screams are muffled by the gag)

Cargn: (emerging from the shadows to warn them away) Stay back!

Scorpius: (calmly, to D'Argo) He cannot damage your brain from this distance. But any closer...

D'Argo: There are two of us and one of him. How badly do you want him dead? (he advances a few wary steps in Cargn’s direction)

Cargn: No closer or the girl dies! (Chiana thrashes and cries on the end of her chains)

D'Argo: That will not help Prince Clavor become king. (news doesn't travel fast in the ol' Breakaway Colonies does it?)

Cargn: Agreed. This is about killing yooouuu.

Scorpius: (he is advancing casually upon Cargn) The girl, has she told you where Crichton is?

Cargn: (keeping the vat of acid between him and Scorpius) Of course not, she doesn't know. But she did say you aren't allies, and that in all probability you did not come here to impede my plan.

Scorpius: It must be painful to realize you have been defeated - Yes defeated! - (Scorpius seems to falter a bit as he stands by the edge of the vat of boiling acid) - by nothing more than your own suspicions.

Cargn: (mocking) Is it too hot in here Scorpius?

D'Argo: (calling to Scorpius) What's the matter?

Cargn: When he becomes incapacitated, I shall turn my full attention to you.

Scorpius: (vehemently, angrily, painfully, as he struggles for control) Nothing! It's nothing! Don't listen to him!

Cargn: Because if you do, you'll know his mutants weakness, that his Scarran half loves the heat, thrives in heat - craves heat. But his Peacekeeper half is destroyed by the same warmth.

D'Argo: Is this true? (Scorpius makes no response, he is agitated and seems verging on disoriented, breathing in short, quick snorts)

Cargn: (continuing to mock Scorpius and spill his secrets) Thermal regulator suit. Cooling rods inserted directly into his brain. Tell me the rumors are true. Please tell me your search for thermic constancy is tormentful!

(Scorpius attacks Cargn with a roar and the two struggle. D'Argo comes at the Scarran from behind and in the resulting melee one of the chains suspending Chiana over the vat is broken. Cargn is a tough customer though and manages to throw down not only the vicious Scorpius, but D'Argo as well)

Cargn: Luxan coward! Now you will die! (but before he can finish off D'Argo, he is distracted by a yell - the cavalry has arrived in the form of John)

John: HEY! (and with the stone that Jena gave him he begins to lay down fire against Cargn)

Cargn: Crichton! (John begins to advance, firing as he comes. The Scarran is hit repeatedly by the energy blasts, but manages to stay on his feet, severely wounded as he is) YOU - HAVEN'T - DEFEATED - MEEE!

John: Obviously not - but you dumped me in the acid - so let's see how you like it. (and with that - using one of the chains dangling from the rafters, John takes a Tarzan swing and kicks the wounded Scarran into the vat of acid where he thrashes and bubbles horribly for a few moments before sinking below the boiling green surface. But now the other chain holding Chiana up begins to separate-) CHIANAAAA!

D'Argo: NNNOOO! (and he makes a run for the vat as Chiana begins to fall, takes a flying leap over it, catching her in midair and lands on the other side)

Chiana: (to D'Argo) You're the best.

John: (running to them) HOW BATMAN WAS THAT! You guys okay?

D'Argo: (panting) We're fine John - it's good to see you.

John: You too. What about Scorpy. Is he dead?

D'Argo: If he isn't, he should be by the time we come out. (he and Chiana exit and John picks Scorpius up and makes to throw him into the vat of acid as well. But he only gets as far as holding the half-Scarrans face over the edge, inches form the noxious fluid, before he stops, as if unable to proceed, he flashes briefly back to the Aurora Chair, and then, instead of pushing Scorpius in, hisses to him at close range-)

John: I'm not your enemy. I'm not your friend. You leave me the hell alone, or the next time we part, one of us'll be dead. (he unhands Scorpius and hurriedly exits. As soon as he's gone, Scorpius straightens up as if all his earlier frailty had been merely an act. He growls deeply and sweeping his gloved fingers through the acid, flicks it off as if it were water and exits)

(cut back to the senate chamber where Katralla the Statue still stands, not on its pedestal but just out there in the middle of the room. John is talking to the Empress as they pace around it)

John: I am sorry if it upsets your line of succession, but I am not going to be a statue again!

Empress Novia: I understand your concerns as I'm sure you must understand ours. (slyly) However, you're the kind of man that would walk away from his own child, we would not want you to rule.

John: Child? What the hell you talking about?

Empress Novia: My daughter is pregnant with your seed.

John: How-? Whoa- How-? Nono- We never-

Empress Novia: Samples from the DNA comparison. Did you really think a system this stable would leave so important a detail to chance?

John: Make me a statue.

Empress Novia: You change your mind so quickly?

John: (firmly) A child deserves two parents. My child deserves a father. Make me a statue.

Empress Novia: Counselor Tyno, arrange for this -honorable man - to re-undergo the transmutation process.

Tyno: I'm afraid that's impossible Empress. Recall that Crichton is not Sebacean. Based on our findings, human physiology would not tolerate the process a second time.

John: What the hell are you talking about?

Tyno: If you stood beneath that machine again you would die!

John: She won't be defrosted for another 80 cycles - I'm not gonna live that long - I won't be there for them!

Tyno: I know! I'm sorry.

John: (he pauses and looks at Katralla for a long moment before saying quietly to Tyno-) You take my place.

Tyno: I can't.

John: Nobody knows me, right? The public? They don't know who I am.

Tyno: Your unveiling was to be your introduction.

John: Right. Counselor Tyno can be your new king.

Empress Novia: (insistent) Their chromosomes are not compatible!

John: It doesn't matter! She's already pregnant. And it satisfies everything that you need. And it gives my child a good father. And they love each other. (he lifts the earpiece to his ear so he can hear Katralla and asks-) What do you say? Does this work for you?

Princess Katralla: (sounding sleepy) Yes. Thank you.

John: I'm sorry that I won't be around.

Princess Katralla: I'll - never forget.

John: (to the Empress) It's your call.

Empress Novia: As long as the secrets we forge in this room do not escape - it can be done.

John: Well there you go. Good guys win for once. And I have a child that I'll never know.

Tyno: (he has the earpiece and reports to John) Princess Katralla wants to know if you'd like to see your offspring.

John: Yes. (and now a little girl appears in the machine that was first used in the medical lab when John and Katralla’s compatibility was being confirmed) Hi there.

Little Girl: Hi - are you my Dad?

John: Yeah, that's right.

Little Girl: I love you Daddy. (John takes the little girl in his arms and hugs her for a long moment before she fades away. He rises and walks to Katralla the Statue where he rests his hand on her shoulder for a moment before quickly striding out, saying to Tyno as he leaves-)

John: You take care of my little girl.

(cut to some time later. Moya has returned to the Royal Planet, picked up the crew and they're already well on their way to putting distance between themselves and the Breakaway Colonies. Cut to Chiana and D'Argo in their quarters, he's sitting at a table, staring pensively into space)

Chiana: So how come Crichton didn't kill Scorpius?

D'Argo: It was a mistake. One that I fear will come back to haunt us.

Chiana: Yeah but - he can't follow us, right?

D'Argo: Pilot says that we're safe for now.

Chiana: Did he tell you what happened to Moya?

D'Argo: (he shakes his head) Zhaan either. Rygel thinks they were scared. I just think they were lost. Either way they're keeping it to themselves.

Chiana: Hey - (she gives him a kiss) - I'm very proud of you.

D'Argo: I'm proud of you. You handled yourself well.

Chiana: Well, you handled meself well too. What's the matter?

D'Argo: Ah - I just can't stop thinking how Crichton'll never see his daughter again.

Chiana: Hits pretty close to home huh?

D'Argo: The fact that I may never see my son again is a grief I would wish upon no one. It pains me to think of what he's going through right now.

Chiana: Pains me too. (there is a long pause as she touches his shoulder) And you thought we weren't compatible.

(cut to the maintenance bay. Aeryn is there working on her Prowler. John enters and leans on his module as he speaks to her)

John: Zhaan says the surgical reconstructors did an excellent job on your leg. There's no sign that it was ever broken. (no response) Yeah I was uh - worried about you when you didn't show up for the wedding. Anyway, I'm - I'm just, um, glad you're okay. And I have noticed that you're not talking to me.

Without a word Aeryn straightens up and produces one of the vials of compatibility serum which she brings over to him. After a moment, he takes it from her and puts a drop first on his tongue, then a drop onto hers. After another pause, they touch tongues briefly, then take a long slow kiss. When they part, they stare expressionlessly at each other before Aeryn turns silently away. And smiles.

THE END