Yes Men

1x15 - Yes Men I got to grab something real quick. I'll be right back, my love. Get a look at that. H-hey, darlin', gal like you could have any man you want. Why did you marry that little dude? He loaded? He's not my husband. I took him from his bride earlier today. I needed him to provide safe passage. You in trouble? 'Cause if you need a place to lay low for awhile, this is as good as any. Oh! What kind of beast is that? It's a 1987 heritage softail. You can hop on mine, you want to feel a roar. How grand. - What is your name? - My men, they call me Rooster. You have men? You are their leader? Last time I checked, yeah. You and your men now serve me. This guy bothering you? No. He's with me now. What? No! I'm with you! You said we'd be together forever, remember? I said we'd be together till the end. It is the end. Aagh! - Who are you? - I'm Lorelei. Now introduce me to all of my men. No! What did I say? Damn it. Every time. It's like you have a sensor - for whenever my butt lifts off the bed. - Back in it. - I just want to stretch my legs. - Now. Look! There's color in my cheeks. Breathing without feeling like my whole body's on fire. I'm good. "Good" is not the appropriate word to describe your state. You've been shot twice, had your stomach perforated, and a breathing tube shoved down your throat. "Better" is the more accurate word. Again with the blood drive? I'm not gonna have anything left. Not sure how I feel about Dr. Simmons. She's so strict. Ow. And pokey. Well, patient Skye is unruly and stubborn. And grateful. - I hope you know that. - I didn't do it alone. Still, I'm the most "grateful-est-est" patient alive. That's not even a word. Hey. This a bad time? It is if you're here to bust me out. The Warden has extended house arrest. Terrible accent. I must look terrible! Simmons won't even bring me a mirror. - I've seen worse. - Wow. Thanks. No, I mean, you look better than when you were dying. Swinging and a-missing, Ward. It's great to see you better. It was so stupid to go in there alone. Hey. There's no point in doing that now. You were brave. Thanks to you, every S. H. I. E. L. D. agent in the country knows Mike Peterson's alive. - It's all about his magic leg? - I didn't call it that, but yes. Agent Garrett's running point on Mike. Thinks he's part of some project called Deathlok. He looked like death. You should have He wouldn't even look at me. They did something to him. He needs help. He's past help. He was there with you, Skye could have protected you. He let this happen to you. And I'll never forgive that. Well, I-I need to better protect myself, so when Simmons gives the all-clear, we'll start training? - We'll ease you back into it. - No. I want to train harder. Next time, I don't want to depend on some miracle drug to save me. She's beginning to get suspicious of all the blood I'm taking. No wonder. How many samples have you tested each day? Not enough. Not enough to find anything in her blood or Coulson's. There isn't ample residue remaining in the vial to examine after we emptied it into her bloodstream. Such a pity we only found the one. Well, excuse me for not sticking around long enough to get blown to pieces. It's just that the last sample of this miracle drug is inside Skye. - You can't find any trace of it? - No. She's healing at an exponential rate, but I can't detect anything irregular on a cellular level. And you've explained to Coulson that you need to upload the samples to H. Q. ? He shut me down, said to keep it in-house. I mean, this drug could be a phenomenal breakthrough, could save countless lives. Why is he being so twitchy? Well, you were down in the bunker with him. Did you see anything peculiar? Everything was peculiar. Director Fury moved heaven and Earth. No! Don't give it to her! You know, usually, when a friend wants a favor, they do something nice takes me to a nice restaurant, buys me a bottle of wine. Want to go to a movie, hold hands? Okay. But I need to ask you a question first. I don't know where Director Fury is. Don't be so shocked. For a quiet guy, you make a lot of noise. How many favors have you called in? Clearly, not enough. Something I can help you with? Fine. But Fury is a high-level agent who's off-grid. You don't find him unless he wants to find you. You did something like that once, too. Remember? I never asked you. - How was Tahiti? - It sucked. New orders. S. H. I. E. L. D. 's detecting massive energy readings in the skies above the California/Nevada border. - Where's Agent Coulson? - Taking personal time. That's a couple days straight. These are the same readings Dr. Selvig and Dr. Foster picked up in New Mexico and in London. They herald the arrival of an Asgardian. - Thor. - Not sure. Either way, S. H. I. E. L. D. wants us to be the welcome wagon. O-okay. Fine. No cause for concern, right? - Asgardians are allies. - Loki wasn't. Fitz? Yeah, we're definitely getting close, but it's a bit of a crap shoot. This is still science we don't completely understand. Seems to be a lot of that going around lately. So, Coulson hasn't talked to you about why he changed his mind on giving Skye that injection? No. He's keeping it to himself. Whoa. I'm getting a massive energy surge, - three times the level of the one before. - How close? - Yeah, definitely Asgardian. - Running facial recognition. Okay, got it. I don't have a name, but I can confirm she was in New Mexico, fighting with Thor and his mates. She's on our side. Stand down. She's a friendly. - You are of S. H. I. E. L. D. ? - Yeah? I am Lady Sif of Asgard. Your world is in grave danger. She's a warrior. I saw her fight in New Mexico with Thor climbed a giant metal killing machine, speared it with her double-bladed sword. It was pretty badass. She says she needs S. H. I. E. L. D. to help her find someone. - You up for this? - I'm fine. "Fine" doesn't look like this. Not on you. You've been gone more often than not. Whatever's bothering you I'm here. I know. What dark magic is this? Thor said you perished at the hand of Loki. And he was right for awhile, anyway. But Loki wasn't the only one with some tricks up his sleeve. Turns out, S. H. I. E. L. D. had a few of their own. Thor will be pleased to hear it. - He considers you a friend. - I feel the same, which is why I'd prefer he hear it from me, if that's okay. I understand you're looking for someone. I am hunting her. Lorelei. powers to wreak havoc across the nine realms, to command armies, bring down kings, empires. What kind of powers we talking about? - Strength? Speed? - Sorcery. She bends and shapes the will of men to her own purpose. Only men? Her powers don't work on women? No. Men have an inherent weakness we do not share. I can't imagine what she's talking about. The very sound of her voice can ensnare most. For the rare man who can resist, it's her voice joined by her touch that will overpower his will. So, how do we stop her? With this. It prevents her from speaking. She wore one like it for centuries while locked in prison. She escaped when the dark elves invaded Asgard and came here using one of Loki's secret pathways between worlds. Do we know where she is now? All I know is the bifrost delivered me to her last known location. Mostly small towns out that way. Let's start looking for unusual activity within a few-hundred-mile radius burglary, theft, assault. If this woman's used to ruling over empires she's gonna be hard to please. I wanted gold! You bring me paper?! It's it's cash. It's like gold. - This is the currency here. - And who's this ugly woman? Uh, that's uh, that's Ben Franklin. Used to be President. Used to rule this whole country. Hmm. And women can rule your land, can they not? Well, uh, y-you'd be the first. Yes. I will. What the hell, Duane?! - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Move! Move! I have been texting you all day, worried sick! I thought you were dead in a gutter somewhere. Don't, baby. There's nothing to worry about. I-I just turned off my cellphone 'cause the noise was bothering Lorelei. Are those my clothes? Why is this woman wearing my clothes, Duane? Who's this Duane she speaks of? It's, uh that's me. My my real name's Duane. She calls me that. She's my wife. - Yeah. - Oh! Do you prefer her to me? Sh-she is nobody next to you. Nobody?! Really?! "Nobody" owns this bar. You know what? Everybody out. Out! We are closed! Out! I'm tired of this noise, Rooster. Make it stop. His name is not Rooster! It's I'm sorry, baby. You're just making too much noise. These are files of every police report within 100 miles of where you arrived, everything from the last 48 hours. When you want to sift through the information, you just - I'm familiar. - touch the oh. It's an antiquated system we and other realms had ages ago. You've visited other realms, seen different species, aliens. Have you ever encountered any that were blue? - Yes, of course. - Which ones? Uh, Interdites, Levians, Pheragots, Kree, Sarks, Centaurians. The Frost giants tried to conquer your Earth a millennia ago, but Asgard drove them away. Oh. Well, thanks for that. And the others have any of them been here recently? Rest easy, Phillip, Son of Coul. None of the others have ever visited Earth. There a robbery of jewels. And there a gun-store robbery by guys on Harleys. It's happening faster than I feared. She's amassing men, gold, weaponry. Lorelei is building an army. Traced the men to a biker bar called Rosie's desert oasis. Probably where Lorelei's hiding out. Meeting a S. H. I. E. L. D. convoy there in 10. Good. Then you can show off these beauties. - These all night-night guns? - Based on the same technology, but we're not calling them that anymore. - About time. - They're called ICERs - incapacitating cartridge emitting - They're great. And you lost the ounce. And I tripled the stopping power. But I did realize after our run-ins with Mike and Centipede - Whoa. - Sorry. um, that we needed something stronger, better. Thought you didn't like guns. No, I always say if I need a gun, I'll take one. - Ah. - We'll need these. When you're up against people who are being controlled, sometimes it's hard to distinguish friend from foe. - This way, we can take out either. - Where's Lady Sif? Shall we? Lorelei's tastes run toward palaces, castles. This is far more humble than her usual abode. The draw wasn't the place. It was the manpower. How many men does she have in there? Have you seen the suspect? Yes, we have. And she's beautiful. What is that? Well, it seems we've caught the attention of the law. - You swore to fight for me. - Yeah, and I will. But they got a lot of firepower out there. I mean, hell, they even got some medieval-times chick. She's got, like, a sword and everything! Sif. They're on us from both sides. Be hard to get off a clean shot. Your ladyship, can you give us a little cover? Very literal interpretation. Thank you. - All clear. - Men, stay outside. Let Sif take Lorelei. Ward, head around back. Surround the building. Lorelei still manipulating men to do your dirty work, I see. And I see you're still a step or two behind. You know how this ends, Lorelei. So come willingly. You mistake me for someone who fears you. I've bested you before. Or have you forgotten? Tear her apart. Look. I'm sure you're, uh, a reasonable guy Rooster. Rooster? Really? - You're a fine warrior. - I am. So put your hands behind your back and get on your knees. Men kneel before me. I do not bow to them. Gonna need some backup over here. That is not what you need. Take me somewhere grand, deserving of a ruler, - a queen. - I know just the place. Lorelei's treachery remains unchanged, no matter the world. We'll find them. Every agent in the area is out looking. To what end, hmm? The collar has been broken. Short of death, we have no means to end her enchantment. Let me worry about that. Stay here. And try not to punch a hole in my airplane. So, Ward's what? Like, a pod person? No, according to Lady Sif, the men Lorelei controls don't forget who they are or what they know. She just becomes the embodiment of all their desires. So once we find them, we can break her mojo or whatever and get Ward back, right? Yes, once the collar's back on Lorelei's neck, the enchantment ends, but that's the problem. The collar caught a shotgun blast back in the desert. - You think you can fix it? - Well the metal, the weight it's similar to the Berserker staff. But it presents its own set of countless unknown variables. - Got a couple hours. - Yeah. What can I do? And don't you dare say nothing or tell me to sit down here and count ceiling tiles - while Ward is missing. - Ward's got drop boxes and storage lockers all over the world. They're filled with currency, weapons, I. D. s. He's gonna use aliases, cash anything to keep Lorelei off the radar. You're the best radar we have. Find them. Sir, may I have a moment? It's about the GH-325. - Have you found something? - No. I've hit a wall because of my limited resources. The drug's chemical properties are foreign to me, - which is startling in its own right. - We've been over this. So I'm requesting once again to send a sample of Skye's blood to H. Q. for further study. - That's not an option. - Why? I don't need to explain to you the benefits of this drug. - You've experienced them firsthand. - No. That's an order. That's not a good-enough reason! I have a duty to you, sir, as my commanding officer. But I also have a duty as a S. H. I. E. L. D. scientist to pursue this, to save lives! Given Ward's recent situation, we should Two men laid down their lives in a compound rigged with explosives to keep this drug hidden. We still don't know why. Until we do, until we speak with Fury and get some answers, that drug and its mysteries stay in-house. Focus on the mission. Lorelei has Ward, and we have no idea where she's taking him. I am fortunate to have found you. - You are quite resourceful. - Just well trained. No. You are worlds apart from those men in the desert. I'm not an idiot. I know you value me no more than those bikers back there. - The truth is I don't care. - Because of what you feel? I've felt something before for someone on my team. It seems foolish now. I would die for you. Any man would. But I don't want them. I want you. You're stronger a real man with the rage of a berserker inside. You will present me with an army. And I will give you a gift in return. When I first arrived here, I thought Earth left much to be desired. But from here, it's quite beautiful. I've spent the last 600 years locked away in a dark, cold cell my throat shackled my voice silenced. - Torture. - You never have to go back there. But Sif is on the hunt. She will not rest. She will not stop. And I will not know peace. So we take her out of the equation. Eliminate the threat. The graves of Asgard's enemies are littered with men who underestimated Sif. Do not make the same mistake. You do not know her. No. I don't. But the people she's working with now I know them. May I? - You have experience with swords. - Yes. - But I prefer to use my hands. - Admirable. But be warned Lorelei is quite skilled at combat. Then why co-opt men? Why have them fight for her? Well I believe it gives her a thrill Especially if the man is already taken. And, besides, even the best warrior needs an army to conquer an empire. So her pattern remains. She attaches herself to the strongest warrior she can find and then unleashes a swath of blood and destruction. The man she's with Ward he's as lethal as any. - One of our best. - I see. I've been where you are, Melinda May a man I cared for, under her spell, so enchanted, forsook his family, his friends, me. Steel yourself to do what might be necessary. - Your Agent Ward - He's not mine. Well, that is certainly true now. But Agent Ward is no longer the man you knew. - He will not hesitate to kill you. - Ward won't kill me. Do not let your feelings cloud your judgment. I'm not. He might try to kill me, but he won't. Security cameras just caught sight of them. If Lorelei wants an army of wealthy, pliable men, I think she just hit the jackpot. - Clear. - Clear. Back room's secure. Clear. - Bathroom clear. - Kitchen clear. All clear. Room secured. - Clear. - She's gone. - Turn this suite upside down. - Yes, sir. I know you said you and Ward wouldn't be a problem. But I also know you wouldn't tell me if it was. Fitz, there are cameras everywhere in this town. Track them all. No sign of them On any surveillance around the city. It was a long shot. Ward knows how we work, knows to avoid cameras. Well, I expanded my search, got satellite support running. We'll find them. I do have a bit of good news. - I fixed Lorelei's neck collar. - Let me inspect it to be sure. Asgardian metal is much different from the ore of this planet. Sure, but I think you'll find it's up to snuff. It's in your room. You and Ward have the same training. You're cut from the same cloth. If it was you, where would you run to? Asgardian metal is so dense. Just had to find the right tools, really. But you'll see not a scratch on it, because, yes I am that good. Well done. You really are quite clever. If I was Ward, I wouldn't run. I'd take out my main threat. We're taking off. Why are we taking off? - What is that pounding? - I'll go and investigate. - You - Stay put. I know. Someone locked us in. - Fitz? - Sir. Ward and Lorelei are on the bus. Where's the collar and Sif? In there. That's why I'm standing guard. Would not want Sif to get out and hurt Lorelei. Ah. Of course we wouldn't. And Lorelei wants me to go down to the basement, - keep an eye on the girls downstairs. - Already locked them in. Cannot have them mucking up Lorelei's plan. She's the best, isn't she, sir? Yep. She's something else. Aren't you the brave one? You took my plane. I want it back. Well we can't always get what we want. Actually I can. Unh. Ohh. I will retrieve Sif's sword. It will look better in my hand. - Ward, you don't want to do this. - This was the plan. Cross off Sif, take the plane, eliminate anyone in our way. Get out of her way. It's her plan, not yours. Fight it. I know you. You're a fighter. Is this her? The beautiful warrior with a heart of ice? His heart now beats in concert with mine and mine alone. No reason to make this about us. Oh. He told me who he desired before me. But, my dear it wasn't you. Where's Simmons? - Oh! - What the hell are you doing?! - Sir, are you you? - Of course I am! Fitz has Sif trapped in the cage. We need to unlock the door, get her out. What? Coulson, they opened the airlock. She's gone. I'm afraid she was sucked out of the aircraft. Are you kidding? She's Asgardian. Sif's still out there. Unlock it. Let her in. You, come with me. I need your help. Anything else I can do to be of service? Okay, good. Good. I'll be right here. Leave me in peace. Return to Asgard. While you remain here? I think not. What is she doing? No. Here I will no longer pose a threat to Asgard. Can you not let me be? Find some small mercy within your heart? My heart has no place in this. I have orders to bring you back. All these years, and you're still the same Sif, doing as you're told, heeling at the feet of those who command you never to get what you desire not Haldorr, not Thor a man who considers you more pet than woman. Hand me my sword, Lorelei. See, that's the difference between you and I. I don't take orders. Stay strong for me, baby girl. You stay strong. Simmons. Hey, you're not supposed to be up here! Ward, I think we have a big problem! You better get back here, Simmons. You cannot be running about, okay? Lorelei does not want any - Fitz. - Sir? Poor thing! He's always getting knocked out, isn't he? Kill me. I'd rather die than go back to that place. - You will not get off that easy. - Why? It's what you want. I can see it in your eyes. Or would you rather hear about how the man you loved followed me around like a dog hear of his touch, his kiss, the look in his eyes when I You were saying? Sorry about this. Whoa. Wait a minute. I'm sorry. It's me. Okay? I'm back. He speaks the truth. Good to know. My apologies. The damage caused to your flying boat - was unfortunate. - It's seen worse. I assure you, Lorelei will be punished severely for the crimes against your people. It must have been hard for you After everything she did, to move past it, to let it go. Odin ordered her back alive. As one of his warriors, I bow to his will. Regardless of what it cost you? Much like your S. H. I. E. L. D., we are bound by our code. I am honored to have fought by your side. I'll run diagnostics, see how much damage we're dealing with. How much are you dealing with? - He didn't break anything, so - Not what I meant. You should talk to him, hash it out. And you should take your own advice. You've been sitting on something since the Guest House. If not with me, then with Skye. She deserves to know what you saw down there. I figure I let you punch me again, repeatedly, - Just why don't you just - It's fine. It's not. I never intended - I didn't want to hurt - You didn't. That was never a risk with me. I told you that. - You did. - Seems like we're done here. Okay. But if what Lorelei said was true you were more honest with her than you are with yourself. I'm not saying you were weak. I'm saying all men are weak. Sir. I understand why you had to punch me. I forgive you. Can I get a moment alone with Skye, please? Yeah. I know that face, and something gives me a feeling I should be sitting down for this. I've been looking for a way to tell you this, looking around for some answers, something to help explain but I don't have any. So the drug, the one that saved us both when we found it, I discovered something else. Its source. It was alien. A-alien, as in unfamiliar? No. Wow. The minute I learned what it was, I tried to keep them from injecting you with it, but I was too late. I'm so sorry, Skye. You were trying to save my life. You did save my life. I was desperate to, and so I subjected you to unknown ramifications or side effects. I'm sorry to say this, sir, but so what? We are alive. And you've had that stuff in you for uh, some time now, and you're okay, right? Plus, you're not sprouting a pointy tail or anything, so bonus there. I know nothing fazes you, but this should faze you. - We are completely in the dark on this. - That's where we live. I'm an 0-8-4. Who knows what the hell that means? At least we're in the dark together. Yes. But not for long. To hell with any protocols or any code I used to be bound by. We have a long list of questions we need answers for, and we're going after them ourselves. - Well, if the team's up for it - No. No, listen to me. I trust them, but we need to protect them from this. Fury went to dangerous lengths to keep this under wraps lied to me, lied to S. H. I. E. L. D. This is a powerful secret, a secret men died for. Until we know why, we can't share this with anyone, for their safety and ours. Got it. So, what'll it be, A. C. ? - What do we go after first? - The person responsible for this. And we make him pay. We'll return in a moment. No, listen. I trust them, but we need to protect them from this. Fury went to dangerous lengths to keep this under wraps Lied to me, lied to S. H. I. E. L. D. This is a powerful secret, a secret men died for. Until we know why, we can't share this with anyone, for their safety and ours. Encrypted line secure. Agent Melinda May. Update log 93. He knows. I repeat Coulson knows.