Prehibernation Week


 * Sandy: There we go! [Sandy rakes a pile of leaves in the shape of Texas] SpongeBob, I got all the leaves ra... [steps on piles of leaves still on the ground] SpongeBob, what are all these leaves doing here? You said you were going to rake them!
 * SpongeBob: [peeks his head out of a pile of leaves he is in] I am raking the leaves.
 * Sandy: But they're still all over the ground!
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, I can't rake any faster. [picks up a leaf and starts scraping it with a tiny rake] These are big leaves. [leaf breaks into more pieces] And they keep breaking into more leaves.
 * Sandy: [Sandy pushes him away and rakes them herself] Then go scrape the salt lick or somethin'! We got to get this stuff done before it's too late!
 * SpongeBob: What's the big rush anyway, Sandy?
 * Sandy: [hanging laundry] I told ya, SpongeBob... [scrubs the birdbath with a toothbrush] I'm hibernating next week.
 * SpongeBob: Hibernating? What's that?
 * Sandy: [painting the fence] It's when I go to sleep for the whole winter.
 * SpongeBob: Can I do that?
 * Sandy: [chuckles] No, silly. It's a mammalian thing. [paints over SpongeBob's helmet]
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, you may not have noticed, but I is 100% ma-male.
 * Sandy: [cleaning her exercise wheel] Enough chitter-chatter, SpongeBob. We don't have much time left!
 * SpongeBob: Why, Sandy? When does your... "carburation" begin? [Sandy jumps down, pulling down a giant calendar with a giant x on the 8th]
 * Sandy: In one week!
 * SpongeBob: But Sandy, that only gives us 1, 2, 3... [gasps] 168 more hours of playtime!
 * Sandy: You're telling me. And there's still so much stuff to do! We gotta climb some things!
 * SpongeBob: Climb!
 * Sandy: We gotta jump off of stuff!
 * SpongeBob: Jump!
 * Sandy: We gotta ride!
 * SpongeBob: Ride!
 * Sandy: I don't wanna go to sleep yet!
 * SpongeBob: Wait, Sandy! [Sandy starts to cry]
 * Sandy: I can't burn carbs in my sleep!
 * SpongeBob: Sandy?
 * Sandy: What?!
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, I'm willing to sacrifice any of my time that I haven't already sold to Mr. Krabs to you. [Pantera playing]
 * Sandy: Well, I'm glad, SpongeBob, 'cause for the next seven days, it's gonna be you, me, and these sweatbands! [holds them up. Cut to the giant sand mountains area. Sandy is riding a giant clam shell smashing through a sign] Yee-ha! [sliding down the mountain so fast she is now on fire. She rides past a fish with a backpack on his back. When she goes past him, he drops to the ground and rolls around cause he is on fire. She then rides past a man and a woman. The woman now wears a jogging outfit and the man is now riding a tricycle and holding a lollipop and paddleball. The woman looks at him]
 * Unnamed Fish #1: Uh... I can explain. [Sandy flips in mid-air, still on fire]
 * Sandy: I'm hotter than a hickory-smoked sausage! Woo-hoo! [SpongeBob is wearing his green karate head gear and riding down the mountain on his tongue. Cut to two kids, building a sandman]
 * Girl: Maybe, if we sing that song, he'll come to life.
 * Billy: Ready?
 * Both: [singing] Oh, there once was a sandman... [SpongeBob rides into the sandman. a musical note pops up]
 * SpongeBob: Life's as extreme as you want to make it! [jumps off the mountain] Whoo!
 * Girl: Maybe we didn't sing it right. [SpongeBob is flying toward the ground. When he hits it, two bones are sticking out]
 * SpongeBob: Yeah. [cut to Sandy and SpongeBob standing outside Sandy's treedome] Whew, what a workout. [pulls out his right arm and shows its damages] I'm going to be feeling this tomorrow. [his arm falls to the ground] Ow.
 * Sandy: I got to say, I'm impressed with you, SpongeBob. You're making this the best pre-hibernation week ever.
 * SpongeBob: Well, I'd better get home before Gary chews up the sofa again. [sighs as he lifts up his left leg and moves it alternately with the other over to his house. Later, it's nighttime and he is finally crawling into bed] Good night, Gary. [falls asleep. Then Sandy pushes a button which launches SpongeBob out of his bed and into a lake. SpongeBob is now a block of ice. Sandy jumps in and becomes a block of ice]
 * Sandy: Nothing like a refreshing morning dip, huh, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: [shivering] W-what h-happened to s-sleeping? [Sandy pulls down a calendar]
 * Sandy: I'll be asleep all winter! We only got three days for fun. [swims away] Well, hurry now! The giant clams like to feed at this hour! [cut to SpongeBob lifting a bowling ball into a tube. Sandy blows her whistle giving the signal and SpongeBob runs to the end and picks up a few jacks before the bowling ball hits him on his head. Sandy does the same thing but the bowling ball cracks her helmet] Isn't this great?
 * SpongeBob: Yeah! I've never played extreme jacks before! [cut to Sandy and SpongeBob with giant q-tips]
 * Sandy: Okay, SpongeBob, this one's going to be fun. We just whack each other with these giant ear cleaners 'til one of us falls off. [lifts hers up] On your mark... get set...
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, are you sure we're supposed to be standing up here?
 * Sandy: Go! [hits SpongeBob off the Sea Needle. SpongeBob lands on a fire hydrant. Sandy rides up on a two-seated bike] Come on, SpongeBob. We're goin' for a tandem ride through the park!
 * SpongeBob: Gee, that sounds safe! I mean, fun. [gets up but leaves a piece of himself on the fire hydrant. He jumps on the bike] Okay, I'm ready! I thought you said we were riding through the park, Sandy!
 * Sandy: I did, SpongeBob, the industrial park! [they ride into a giant factory] This is where the real action is! [Sandy pedals on barbed wire] This part gets pretty technical! Yee-haw! Now for the speed course. Hold on! [they ride through a conveyor belt with a giant crunching mouth at the end] I hope we make it! [bike begins to fall to the ground fast. SpongeBob screams] I'm havin' fun, too! [as they hit the ground, SpongeBob melts into a puddle. Sandy tosses a fishing rod on him] Wake up, slowpoke. [scene scrolls over to show a plane] We're going fly-fishing. [rimshot]
 * SpongeBob: [thinking] This squirrel's trying to kill me! Any more of these stunts and I'll be reduced to a puddle! [sees his shoe floating] Wait a minute, I've got to talk my way out of this! Sandy, I think I need to tell you something.
 * Sandy: What is it?
 * SpongeBob: Well, it's just that I'm feeling sort of... [his mouth melts away from his eyes. He pulls it back up] I just feel like maybe I need to... [his mouth melts away again. Sandy puts her hand over his mouth]
 * Sandy: Hold that thought, SpongeBob! 'Cause it's time for a down-home favorite! [holds up a piece of hay. Pantera plays again] Find the hay in the needle stack! [throws it in a giant pile of needles]
 * SpongeBob: [bites his fingers in fear. Cut to inside the needle pile where SpongeBob is saying "ow" as he gets pricked by the needles. One needle pricks his nose, causing it to deflate like a balloon. Deep voice] Ouch...
 * Sandy: Did you find it?
 * SpongeBob: Not yet.
 * Sandy: Well I'm going to look over here!
 * SpongeBob: You do that. [SpongeBob digs a hole underground then emerges]
 * Sandy: Found it, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob runs away] Come on! Best two out of three.
 * SpongeBob: Gotta hide! Uh-G-Gotta hide! [looks at his house] Home? No. Gary can't keep a secret. [looks at Patrick's rock] Under a rock? It's so original! [as he jumps for the rock, his pants get stuck on a small coral bush]
 * Sandy: SpongeBob?! [SpongeBob struggles to get free and eventually does, but leaves his pants stuck on the plant] SpongeBob? [Sandy walks up to SpongeBob's pants] Where are you, little square dude? [gasps] SpongeBob's tie! And all his other little dressins! But... but... he always folds his clothes before running around in the nude! Something terrible must have happened to him! [crunching and munching] Alright, listen up, y'all! I'm rounding up a search party! SpongeBob's gone missing! [Squidward smiles at Mr. Krabs, thinking that Mr. Krabs will not look for SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs gives Squidward an angry look.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [Squidward frowns because they will search for SpongeBob] Man the lifeboats!
 * Sandy: Alpha Team, you search uptown, Gold Team searches downtown. Any questions?
 * Frank: Gold Team rules!
 * Sandy: Now get movin'! [crowd yelling] [Fred put a Lost poster with a picture of SpongeBob] SpongeBob? [Cuts to Sandy and the search party] Someone look up there! [Sandy pops out of a sewer] Put your doors, and friends into it! [cut to searching in the sulfur fields] Come on! He could be anywhere in these sulfur fields! [Clay looks in a spout]
 * Clay: Hey, SpongeBob! [a blast of sulfur hits him in the face] Well…, at least I still have my personality.
 * Sandy: Check in this here moist cave! [Old Man Jenkins, Nathaniel and Scooter walk in shouting for SpongeBob then run out, realizing the cave is actually a three-eyed sea elephant]
 * Sandy: Status report!
 * Small Fish: [covered in Poison Sea Urchins] He's not at the Poison Sea Urchin cove.
 * Sandy: Well, look again!
 * Vera: [covered in leeches] He's not at the leech farm.
 * Sandy: Well, look again!
 * Squidward: He's not in my thoughts.
 * Sandy: Well, think again! [cut to Sandy talking into a megaphone] Attention, Bikini Bottom, the time has come to double, no, triple our efforts!
 * Squidward: How about a break?! We've been at it for days!
 * Gale: Think about the children!
 * Sandy: That's a good idea! Use the children to crawl into small places you couldn't normally reach.
 * Frank: [whispering to Sadie] This is a load of barnacles.
 * Sandy: I heard that! No one's going anywhere until we find SpongeBob!
 * Frank: Uh... uh, wait! [picks up Francis] Uh, here he is!
 * Sandy: That ain't SpongeBob! SpongeBob is square!
 * [Frank shapes Francis into a square]
 * Francis: [in a poor imitation of SpongeBob] I'm ready! I'm ready!
 * Sandy: No you ain't! [Clay holds up a box of Kelp-O]
 * Clay: I found SquareBob!
 * Sandy: That's just a cereal box. Besides, he's yellow.
 * Charlie: [holds up a banana] Uh... here he is! Hey, can I go home now? [Sandy becomes annoyed]
 * Tina: [points up] Oh, look! He's up in the sky! [Sandy happily looks up, but SpongeBob's not in the sky]
 * Sandy: He's not...huh? [everyone is gone] They must have gone to search some more. [Sandy continues searching for SpongeBob] SpongeBob, where are you?! [lifts up a house] You under there?! [lifts up another house] Nope! [lifts up another house where the unnamed fish from before is at]
 * Unnamed Fish #1: Uhh, I can explain.
 * Sandy: [lifts up another house] SpongeBob?! [lifts up another house] Nope! [lifts up another house] Nope! [lifts up another house] Nope! SpongeBob, where are you?!
 * Unnamed Fish #9: [everyone is looking at Sandy] That squirrel's gone crazy!
 * Woman: But she'll never look under a rock!
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] You said it! Sandy'll never find us! [everyone glares at SpongeBob and throws him out] Hey, wait, you don't understand!
 * Squidward: [pops out from under the rock] Oh, look, it is I, SpongeBob, out here in the open. [Sandy turns around]
 * Sandy: SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: [screams in horror] C'mon, let me back in! You don't understand! [Sandy hugs SpongeBob]
 * Sandy: Oh, SpongeBob, I was so worried! I thought something terrible happened! [grabs his arm] Come on. There's just enough time to go atom smashing. [Sandy runs but SpongeBob is not moving]
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, wait!
 * Sandy: There's no time to wait! Hibernation! [pulls on SpongeBob's arm]
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, you've got to make time! This is important! [Sandy lets go of SpongeBob's arm] I...am a man! [holds up a razor] Okay, Sandy, I...I...I...I...I can't play with you anymore! I just can't take the games! They're tearing me apart! [rips off his nose and throws it on the ground, then holds onto Sandy's legs crying] There, I said it! Now just promise we can still be friends. Please, Sandy? This isn't easy, I...
 * [He notices Sandy has fallen asleep]
 * SpongeBob: Sandy? [chuckles a little] I never thought I'd say it, but thank Neptune for hibernation! [laughs and falls asleep]
 * Patrick: [returning home with groceries and an ice cream] Who are you people?!