The Creepy Cabbages of County Galway

''If you want to read this Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks transcript in a different language, go to: the French version, the Spanish version, or the Portuguese version''.
 * (Grandpa Piggley is hanging a witch decoration while humming something. Two monsters pop up behind him. Grandpa Piggley is hanging up two ghost decorations. He gets off of the stepladder.)
 * Grandpa Piggley: (chuckles) Ah, Piggley, you've done it again.
 * (Suddenly, the two monsters pop up in front of him, growling and roaring. One is a shark monster and the other one is a monster hog.)
 * Grandpa Piggley: Jakers! What's this now? Am I under attack by some horrible monsters?!
 * (The two monsters laugh. One monster jumps off of the stepladder, taking off its mask, revealing Sean.)
 * Sean: It's just me, Grandpa!
 * Grandpa Piggley: Sean. Who's this then?
 * (The hog monster gets off the stepladder and takes its mask off, revealing Seamus.)
 * Grandpa Piggley: Seamus! Hehe! Oh, that's quite a scare you two gave me there. Ooh, you're sure going to scare everyone at school tonight!
 * Sean: We're not going to the school's Halloween party!
 * Seamus: We're going to the Midnight Monster Spooktacular!
 * Sean: It's got the creepiest, scariest haunted house in the whole world!
 * Grandpa Piggley: Yes, I know that. But I also know you're too young for that place.
 * Sean: But, but, but, Grandpa, last year, Carol Teitelbaum went!
 * (Sean and Seamus run to Grandpa Piggley.)
 * Seamus: And she got so scared, she missed a whole week of school!
 * Grandpa Piggley: You still shouldn't go.
 * Sean and Seamus: (run to Grandpa Piggley) But Grandpa!
 * Grandpa Piggley: I know it doesn't seem quite right. You see commercials for movies, and rides, and amusement parks, and they look like the best fun, don't they? (Sean and Seamus nod) But then, you're told you're too young and that you can't go!
 * Seamus: Yeah! It's not fair!
 * Sean: Why can't we see everything and do anything we want to?
 * Grandpa Piggley: Well now, that's a good question. In fact, I wondered that very same thing when I was your age. (sits down) There has been something I wasn't supposed to. And OH, (camera zooms into Sean and Seamus) did I pay an awful price for it! (cuts to a flashback when Grandpa Piggley was a kid) (narrating) It all started off innocently enough late one night. Me sister Molly was already asleep, and it was getting close to my bedtime! Though I never admitted that.
 * (Piggley's face falls on the paper.)
 * Mr. Winks: A five-letter word meaning "elf."
 * Mrs. Winks: Gnome.
 * (Mr. Winks writes down "gnome" in his crossword puzzle. Piggley yawns.)
 * Mrs. Winks: Bedtime, Piggley.
 * Piggley: Oh, it can't be!
 * Mr. Winks: You're right. It's two minutes past.
 * Piggley: (gets up) But I'm not tired! (yawns) I'm just exercising for-
 * Mrs. Winks: Bed.
 * Piggley: But-
 * Mr. Winks: Skedaddle, lad!
 * Piggley: Eh... (walks to his parents) Goodnight.
 * Mrs. Winks: Goodnight, pet. (kisses Piggley)
 * Mr. Winks: Goodnight. (kisses Piggley)
 * (Piggley walks off.)
 * Mr. Winks: (to Mrs. Winks) It's about time for our show. (turns on the radio)
 * Radio Announcer: Stay tuned for... Creepy Theater! Tonight's episode... (Mr. Winks turns volume up) (creepy music plays) The Cabbage Creatures From Planet Seed!
 * (Piggley appears between his parents.)
 * Piggley: Jakers! Cabbage creatures!
 * Mrs. Winks: Piggley!
 * Mr. Winks: Piggley, you're supposed to be in bed.
 * Piggley: But I love scary shows! Scary Monster Theater is me favorite!
 * Mr. Winks: Scary Monster Theater is for children. Creepy Theater is for grown-ups.
 * Mrs. Winks: That's why it's on after your bedtime.
 * (Mrs. and Mr. Winks point to Piggley's bedroom. Piggley groans as he goes to his bedroom. The creepy music plays again on the radio. Piggley leaves his bedroom, passing his parents.)
 * Piggley: Eh, don't mind me. I'm just getting a glass of milk. I can't sleep on an empty stomach, you know.
 * Mr. Winks: Alright, son. Don't be dillydallin'.
 * Piggley: But dad, don't you always tell me not to drink too fast?
 * Mr. Winks: (to Mrs. Winks) Now he remembers.
 * (Piggley drinks his milk.)
 * Radio Announcer: And now, put the kiddies to bed and hug someone tight. It's time for... Creepy Theater!
 * Piggley: Jakers.
 * Mr. Winks: Hurry up, Piggley!
 * Mr. and Mrs. Winks: (point to Piggley's bedroom) Bed! (Piggley goes to his room)
 * Radio Announcer: Tonight's Creepy Theater presentation... The Cabbage Creatures From Planet Seed! Will be preformed by...
 * Piggley: (leaves his room) Uh, I forgot to brush my teeth. You can't be too careful about your teeth, you know!
 * Radio Announcer: ...Kinder Cluckcornish, Buttercup McFlapper, and Hank Goozick. Our story begins on a moonless night in a small village.
 * (The camera pans to Piggley, who is brushing his teeth while listening to Creepy Theater.)
 * Mrs. Winks: (offscreen) Are you brushing your teeth or are you listening?
 * Piggley: I'm brushing!
 * Radio Announcer: The kind of little village where nothing happens, or rather the villagers think nothing happens. But it is in just such a village that our story does happen.
 * (Cuts to Piggley brushing his teeth. Mr. Winks turns the light on. Piggley spits the toothpaste in the sink. Cuts to Piggley leaving the bathroom to his room, passing Mrs. Winks.)
 * Mrs. Winks: Goodnight, little man.
 * Piggley: Goodnight, mommy.
 * (Mr. Winks leaves the bathroom too to sit back on his chair.)
 * Professor's Wife on Radio: Goodnight, professor.
 * (Cuts to Piggley's room.)
 * Professor on Radio: Indeed, maybe a... a little too quiet.
 * (While he is saying this, the camera pans to Piggley, who is on the floor with a pillow and a blanket.)
 * Mrs. Winks: (offscreen) Piggley, are you under your covers?
 * Piggley: (clears throat) Um, yes, Mum. I'm under me covers. (snickers)
 * (Cuts to the radio.)
 * Professor's Wife on Radio: It is a beautiful night.
 * Professor on Radio: Beautiful. But still... too quiet.
 * Professor's Wife on Radio: (gasp) What's that? (cuts to Piggley in his room, looking afraid) In the cabbage field?!
 * Professor on Radio: (gasp) It's ALIVE!!! CABBAGE!!! (Piggley hides under his covers) ALIIIIIVE!!!!
 * Grandpa Piggley: (narrating) The next thing I knew, (cuts to morning) I was in for the lesson of my life.
 * Piggley: (wakes up) Huh? (looks around) Ah.
 * (Piggley is about to go back to sleep when...)
 * Piggley: Ow! (finds a cabbage under his pillow) Hey! How did a cabbage get under me pillow? Hmm, Dad.
 * (Piggley takes the cabbage and gets out of bed. He leaves his room.)
 * Piggley: Okay, dad! Very funny!
 * (Piggley sees his mom dusting a cabbage and humming.)
 * Piggley: Um, Mum, why are you dusting... a cabbage?
 * Mrs. Winks: A clean cabbage is a happy cabbage. (continues dusting and humming)