Hey, World!

1 Previously on "Legends of Tomorrow" Astra, this place, it's twisted you. It's made me more like you. When you took on the wand's power, you also took on its charge. Oh, Fairy Godmother. Go find John and help him rescue Ray from hell. Gary, you dick! I have created a simple app. You will be able to share monster sightings. "In exchange for this service, the user agrees to forfeit their eternal soul to the demon Neron. " He may be planning a monster attack. Get every single one of those monsters out of the Time Bureau. It's a bloody jailbreak! No! What kind of egg is that? - It's a dragon egg. - My name is Zari. Whoopsie. Hey! You haven't happened to see an ogre wandering around about yay high, likes to grunt, drink beer? Ask Rory. Ogre wins again. Cheating bastard. No one outdrinks Mick Rory. Hey, fellas. Sorry to break up all the fun, but, uh, technically, I wasn't supposed to allow any magical creatures out of the lab, so On second thought, why don't you two finish up here? And I'll go, uh, track down the Minotaur. Whiskey woman You're not a horrible mother. You just have a lot on your mind. I left our dragon egg in the care of nine-year-old me. Has anybody seen Gary? - Wait, what did you just say? - I was distracted. I just found out the Eyes app is stealing peoples' souls, and then baby me comes home, and I-I You two need to grab that egg before it hatches. We can't risk Ne-ray getting his hands on a baby dragon. It's already bad enough that he has Charlie. - Okay. - Fair. Get up. Time's a-wasting. There are souls just waiting to be sold. You're off your rocker, you old nag. This here shape-shifter don't take requests. Shape-shifter? Is that all you think you are? You may have your human friends fooled, dearie, but you and I both know what you're truly capable of. - You don't know me! - Don't I? The shape your wearing, though lovely, is a costume. It's not who you really are. You aren't meant to hide, my pet. You are meant to show humans their greatest fears. And lucky for you, helping monsters fulfill their potential is what I do. Yes! Ah! Damn it, Gary. Oh, excuse me, hey. Hi. Excuse me, sir. Hi, pardon me, I just, um I don't belong here. No? And I'm a I'm a Fairy Godmother sent to find John Constantine! Ooh. Ooh. Really? What, are the King and Queen of hell making their grand debut? Not our debut, dearie. No, no, no. Stop. What are you doing? As much as I'd like to pontificate about my grander plan I've taught him better than that. Huh. Who the hell are you? Really? The dress doesn't sell it? You didn't tell me you had a Fairy Godmother, John. Not his, Gary's. And I thought I was the one being tortured. Look, Princess, we got rules here in hell. All right? You can't just Let's go. What are you doing? Going to find Ray, same way I found you. The only difference is Ray doesn't have a body. So let's go find his soul. His soul token, that's the currency in hell. While a soul is being tortured, then its token is traded around town like money. As long as you have it, then you'll always have access to the soul. But since Neron is still topside, then his token's likely locked in his vault. Then let's go find it. - Why isn't this working? - I'm sorry, love. You can't just go poofing yourself into the vaults of hell. We'll have to find someone to help us break in. And I think I know just the person. I don't see her. How do you know what nine-year-old me looks like? I'm just looking for the coolest kid in school. Yeah, there's a lot I haven't told you about my childhood. There, that's the spot where kids used to gang up on me and say, "Zari, Zari, why your clothes so sorry?" Aww. I would have said, "Zari, Zari, you smell like calamari. " Bullying is bad. All right, let's break this up and find out where I stashed the egg. - He's so cool. - Oh, look how cute he is. - I want a dragon. - He's so adorable. Come here. I want to take him home with me. Oh, my God, he hatched. And I brought him to school. Okay, so we got to get him before Whoa, wait. Look. Mithra, dance. So cool. - Awesome, Zari. - Thank you. Mm. Come on. What's going on, children? It's okay. He's my pet, Mithra. - I named him after the - Run, children. It's a monster! Wait, Zari. Zari, wait! Wait. Don't hurt him. Oh, my God, I lost him again. Captain, I've located Neron. Now live to Capitol Hill, where the Palmer X CEO is testifying before the Senate subcommittee. Look, I know Senator Wellington doesn't believe that it's up to the private sector to intervene in such a unprecedented crisis. But I should mention, not a single one of my subscribers has been harmed in a monster attack. Senator, do you care to respond? This bloke is just trying to scare folks into downloading his evil, soul-sucking app. There ain't no such thing as monst This isn't me! I'm not doing this! Like I said, they could be hiding anywhere and only you can stop them. Wait, it might be Charlie. Well, who am I supposed to shoot? There. Damn pigs! I'm trying to help you out! Stay there. We got to go! Come on. Let her go. She served her purpose. Astra Logue. Name's Neron. I hear good things about you. Now that I'm taking over for your former employers, I Give it a rest, John. You think I can't see through your cheap little parlor trick? How'd you get out of the torture pits anyway? Nice sparkles. Nice shoulder pads. What do you want, John? And please tell me you're not here to make some sad, sappy plea for me to remember who I really am. I know exactly who you are. You're someone I can work with. Now, the Triumvirate, they were too short-sighted to take my deal, and now they are roasting rats for supper. But you're smarter than that, Astra. All I need is access to one measly soul, and in exchange, I'll go kill Neron, and your boys will be back on top. This soul you're after must be pretty special. He is. I was special to you, too, John once. And yet, you left me down here to rot all those years. - Astra, you can't - I'm over it. I made the best of a bad situation, and guess what. I flourished. Down here, I had prospects until Neron wiped his ass with them. So do we have a deal? Let's go rob the King. Today's attack at the U. S. Capitol has sparked worldwide panic and paranoia over the threat of magical creatures. Enough, Gideon. Where is Neron in all of this? Why isn't he responding to his magical-creature alerts? What alerts? All the creatures are here on the ship. You know what? It doesn't even matter. Neron's shown the world that anyone can be a monster. People are turning on each other. Everyone's terrified. I thought Neron wanted to collect souls. How does hacking the app only to let it fail get him what he wants? It's not about souls anymore. It's something worse. Well, they didn't share their endgame, but from what I could figure out, they don't give a "fa" about ruling hell. It's actually fear that they're after. Why? Fear is power. It's energy. And thanks to me, they have a wallop of it to muck about with. That might explain the strange meteorological event forming over Washington, D. C. Right above the Time Bureau. Gideon, do you have a visual? You're welcome, world. The air is thick with human fear. The hour of our coronation draws near, my pet. It's time to send your message to your legions below. The bank's right around the corner. What's happening? Denizens of hell, for far too long, we have been forced to live like insects underneath the Earth. Soon, a door will open. Look to the sky and await my signal. With me as your king, we will make Earth hell again. So that's been his play all along. We best keep moving, loves, before all hell literally breaks loose. Stay calm, they smell fear. What if fear is my natural scent? Good afternoon, everyone. We have your favorites. I know it's a bit crowded in here, but we're making the best of it. Anybody want a sammy whammy? Put that in your whammy, you dick. Okay, uh Bon appÃ©tit. They are savages. Oh, calm down, Gary. The longer we keep the magical creatures locked up, the more they're gonna act like actual monsters. They are monsters, you twit, and so are you. We all are. How are we supposed to defeat fear itself? I mean, people afraid of Metas, magical creatures afraid of people, and Monsters hated by everyone. Not everyone. Gideon, play the The "dancing dragon sneeze" video. Yep, that. Mithra, dance. - What is this? - Wicksty. Aww. Yeah, this innocent moment where kids aren't afraid, it's resonating with people. They don't see a monster, they see something amazing. So do I. Me on that playground surrounded by people who want to be my friend Even if it was just for a day, that little baby dragon changed my world. You sound like my dad's pitch for HeyWorld! Oh, my God, guys, that's it. What? What's what? My dad had a dream to build a theme park that people would come to see because of magic. That's what the world needs right now, a place for people to come and see the wonder of these creatures in person. What, so they can just shoot us all in one place? That's bloody brilliant, that. No, so they can see creatures the way that you helped us see creatures, Charlie. Not as monsters, but as misfits just trying to find their place. Look, if we can learn that lesson, then so can the rest of the world. We just need to bring people and creatures together. Think of it like a magical version of Woodstock. "If we build it" "They will come. " How long until we can get it up and running? Uh, if Mikey T and the boys work weekends Quick math in my head Two, maybe three years. Oh. He's not a coin. - Observant. - No flesh bags, just souls. That's why they call it the Soul Exchange. Oh, right, then. I'll be on me way, then. This is John Constantine. Oh, and me without my autograph book. No worries, love. Next time, yeah? Look, if you would like to convert his soul into cash, you need Maybe you don't get it. Neron owns the marker on his soul, and Neron wants to torture him as soon as he gets here. But, hey, if you want to tell the new boss why his prized victim isn't waiting in his vault This way. Not so rough. FYI, there's no bathroom in here, and I'm not feeding him. I'm a bank teller, not a zoo Pretty cool for a grown woman wearing taffeta and a tiara. How does this work? We find a coin? There are thousands. Some of history's worst. Yeah, I'd wager he's keeping it somewhere special. Hey, what are you doing? What? Revolution's in the air, I've got to look out for number one. You were a golden opportunity to bankroll my future. I took it. What about Bridget's diary? If we put it in Nate's hands, he could just dream us up a theme park. Z, you are a genius. The Ugh. It's in the Time Bureau. It's okay, so we just break in, but it's not gonna be easy. Even if it isn't demon central, the vault that it's being held in is practically impenetrable. Oh, it's penetrable. Oh, my God. - I love you, Rory. - Mm-hmm. Give it back when you're done. Buck and Garima's sexual odyssey is far from over. All right, team. Nate, you have a theme park to dream up. Gary, help Mona "Pretty Woman" our creatures into something a little more kid friendly. And the rest of us, it's time to come up with a marketing plan for the happiest place on the planet. Miss Tomaz, your simulation program has detected a change in your presently predicted future. Good change or bad change? In one potential 2042, building HeyWorld leads to an era of understanding and tolerance. The Anti-Meta-Human Act of 2029 never passes, your parents live out their lives peacefully in Seattle. The future as you know it would be completely changed. My parents. They're, uh That means a piece of this crazy plan actually works. This is great news, right? God, I've been running that stupid program for so long, I'd given up hope of it actually working. If this works, my brother survives I never steal his totem back from A. R. G. U. S., I never join the Legends. Last two years wouldn't have happened. Who knows where I'll be or who I'll be? You'll be you. Because while we're at HeyWorld, you'll be here on the ship in the temporal zone, and you'll be safe. Sara, I can't I can't sit this one out. Look, I'm not gonna lose another Legend. And who said we're not putting you to work? Look, we need to make sure what happens at HeyWorld is seen globally. I can use the Eyes app as a backdoor into the phones that downloaded it. Thank you. I found it, I found it Ray's coin. So long, then, John boy, for now. Whoa, hold on a minute. Our deal was for his soul, not a bleeding coin. Fine, a promise is a promise. What are they doing to him in there? Prepare yourself, love. What's behind this door, it won't be pretty. Down there, they twist a man's soul until he's no longer human. And what they've done to the big man, he might not even be Ray! Ray? Nora, John, we're just about to start another game of Giant Jenga. You got to meet my old friend well, technically, my new friend. We used to be mortal enemies. Oh, hi, guys. Well, you're just in time for the next round. When the world needs heroes, they answer the call. We'll be at HeyWorld, the new adventure capital of eastern Maryland Where we will hit fun in the bull's-eye. And we'll give your children a flash of excitement. And cut. Whoo! - That was good, guys. - That was a good take. - It felt good. - That was a great take. Guys, I feel like that would have worked a little bit better with the real Trinity. Yeah, well, I asked, and they said hard pass. - We should have done a crossover. - Yeah. Well, who needs the Trinity anyway, right? I mean, the Legends are super enough. But HeyWorld isn't a superhero park. Promising them something and giving them something else feels I don't know wrong, doesn't it? People aren't going to go to a park filled with things they're terrified of. People need franchise superheroes to feel safe, so that's how we're gonna get them in the door. Okay, everyone, let's just go around the room one by one and say what talent you can contribute to the HeyWorld revue. Oh, Minotaur, let's start with you. I-I hear you like guitar. Don't tell her nothing, bull face. - Let us out of here. - We can't do that, Mr. Ogre. It's not safe out there. Well, we ain't helping you, what, with you moving us around from one prison to another. So why should we trust you? Listen up, if you lot don't want to go back to a real prison, then this is your chance. This is your chance to change the way that humans see you. Show them that just because you look scary Doesn't mean you are scary. That's right, Wolfie. Look, I know how infuriating humans can be. They have a hard time seeing past their own noses, don't they? But they can change if you help them to look deeper. And if they see the amount of good that you lot are capable of, then maybe maybe they'll believe in you even when you doubt yourself. Now, I know that there's more to all of you than meets the eye. Like you, Ogre. My name is Frederic. But what's the point? Every time I try to show a human who I really am, they run away or try to kill me. And that must really hurt your feelings. Yeah, it does. All I ever wanted to do was sing. Well, it looks like we found ourselves a double act. Now, who else has a hidden talent? Brilliant. Beautiful. I think we've got ourselves a show. Wait, what are you doing here? Are you dead? Oh, please tell me you're not dead. What are you doing in that dress? Not that I don't like it, but Mmm. Wow. - Oh! - Idiot! What were you thinking selling your soul to a demon? You Ray You doomed the whole planet! Look, I didn't have a choice. He was gonna kill Nate. It was the only way I could make sure my best friend would be safe. So that was the deal you made his life for your body. Oh, Raymondo, you sweet, dumb son of a softie. Yeah, right? What a guy! I was sent here to torture him, but then we got to talking. Oh, it got really deep, man. It really did. What were we even fighting about all those years ago? Your compulsion for world domination and inability to accept rejection. Ah, translation it was about a girl. A girl? What girl? It doesn't matter. We should go. Wait. Something's happening. I think I fulfilled Gary's wish. Ray, take my hand. John. Oh, all right. Ciao for now. Say hi to the Legends for me, will you? Oh, I love those groovy guys. Jenga time! Oh, almost forgot extra hot sauce for the chupacabra. What in the hell? More like "out of it," mate. It worked! It worked! You got Constantine. All right, okay. Be cool, just be cool. Simmer down, simmer down, sunshine. Where's Ray? He was just here. He Yeah, that's the only way he can travel as long as Neron's using his body. Fairy Godmother, I wish for Ray to get his body back. Oh, um All magic has its limitations you know, stroke of midnight and all that. But don't worry I'm sure the Legends have something up their sleeves. This isn't playtime, you twits. Neron is using fear to open up the gates of hell. Well, that's why we have to fight fear with something wonderful. We have to show the world that these magical creatures are just that they're magical. And everyone else is on board with this? - Yeah. - Yeah, pretty much. - Bloody hell. - All right, great. Well, now that you're all on board, we have work to do. There is another way. Whilst in hell, we learned that Neron's possession of Ray's body is contingent on Nate not being killed. Is that why Ner-Ray didn't strangle me when he had the chance? Yeah. A demon is only as good as his word. If Neron breaks that deal, he'll be ejected from Ray's body. I could kill him. And once I do, all the souls he's nabbed will be released. And all Neron has to do is, uh Me? No, absolutely not. Look, there is no Plan B, only Plan A, got it? Yeah, got it. Look, I meant what I said earlier. I am not losing another Legend. So forget what you heard back there, because we are all-in on HeyWorld. Now, I believe in you, and if I'm not mistaken, someone has a theme park to build. Yeah. I can't believe it all comes down to this. After years of anxiety of whether or not I could live up to my dad's expectations, I'm about to bring his crazy dream to life knowing what it could cost me. Nate, I'm not going anywhere. You got this. Okay. Let's do this. I'm standing in front of HeyWorld, a new superhero-inspired theme park that seems to have sprung up overnight like magic. Welcome to HeyWorld, the happiest place on the globe. Hey, kid, welcome to HeyWorld. Try the churros and not just because the real money is in the concessions, they're also delicious. Z, um you and your mom are here. I see them I mean us. All right, stream's up. You look great, by the way. Oh, thank you for noticing. I showered. How's the clickety-clackety-hackety coming along? Once Ava hits "record," this will stream out to about, you know, 3 billion people or so. No pressure. Come one, come all to our thrilling stage spectacular "Superheroes versus Monsters. " Okay, you got the choreography down? Everyone, follow her lead. Um Ooh! Baba Yaga, remember, those kids are audience members, not appetizers. Mike, watch your language out there, right? We don't want those wankers from Standards and Practices up our you-know-whats. Everyone, they're gonna love you guys. All right, gang, it's showtime. Ladies and gentlemen, please don't call them heroes, call them Legends. Now, let's see what daring do the Legends of Tomorrow get into today. And that'll teach those bad guys that crime doesn't pay. Thanks for the assist, Green Arrow. See you later, Supergirl. Whoa! Do you see that? That's the Flash, and he wants to hang out. Should we got hang out? Break a leg, guys. Wait a second! Shh. I think that I hear something. Monsters. What do you think, White Canary? Should we show 'em what we got? Wait, hold on. What if, instead of showing 'em what we got, we ask them what they have? Hmm? You mean get to know them? What if, getting to know them, we realize that we have nothing to fear. Minotaur, your passion is music. Why don't you show us what you got? They said this was a superhero show. These brats don't respect art. Hey, hey! I think we're losing them. What was that? Bloody hell, I know that sound. Finally, a real-life dragon. Oh, no, is that Wicksty? Now, this is a show. You really thought you could stop us? These fools you brought here will only serve our hellish end. Everyone remain calm! This is all just, uh, a part of the show. Damn it, Gary. Now I'm powerless. Enough filling your heads with this silly, little morality play. Now all of you will bear witness to the birth of a new era. She wants these people scared. They'll open up the portal right here. This way. Go, go! We got to get that staff. We got to get these kids out of here, go! Follow them! Everybody, go back inside. Back inside! It's all right. It's all right. Burn her. Burn them all. Stop! Stop. Burn the child. Do it now. Kid, you got to run. Mithra, dance. No! Tabitha! Mithra, wait. Rise, my demon brethren. The door is open! Rise! Oh, it's gonna take more than a musical number to stop this. Neron! This fight is between me and you, so let's settle it once and for all. Gladly. I've already won. Killing you is just a bonus. You may take me, Neron, but the Legends will always win. Ha. What's happening? Looks like the deal's off, mate. No. Nate? No. Gideon, take us to HeyWorld. I must advise against that course of action. The change to your future is still in progress. If you leave the temporal zone, your current memories won't be safe. You didn't. I'm sorry, love. It was his choice. - Finish it off, John. - Gladly. Come on, Ray. Raymond Palmer, I return your soul to your body. What happened to me? Where am I? I'm in HeyWorld? Everybody's here. No, Nate. No. - No! - Ray, Ray. - No, no, no. - Ray, I'm so sorry. Nate, hey. - You can't be here. - Come on. Hey. Nate, you can't be dead. Come on. Hey, come on, come on. Come on, you can't be Bring him back to life, weasel! Oh, I wish I could, Rory, but that requires magic beyond my means, mate. Not a bad show if you ask me. Dad. Hello, Nate. I missed you so much, Dad. I haven't been far. Oh, I guess, um I guess it sucks Dying before you're ready, huh? - Sure does. - Yeah. Believe me, I went through all the emotions I mean, anger, worry I had so many regrets, I almost missed my ticket to the happy place. What changed? I had faith. You're saying there's actually a In you, Nate. And I was right to believe that my boy and all his freaky buddies would see this thing through. But you know the only thing missing from that big show of yours? Music. There is a young cowboy Who lives on the range His horse and his cattle Are his only companions Do I have something on my face? Did you just sing? James Taylor? I don't sing. I think someone from beyond is trying to help us out. You got to be kidding me. He works in the saddle and sleeps in the canyons Waiting for summer His pastures to change And as the moon rises He sits by his fire Thinking about women Look. Closing his eyes Keep singing. As the dogies retire He sings out a song Of course. If fear can be energy, it only stands to reason that love can be energy, too. Everyone, if you want to see Nate up and kicking, he needs to hear your voices right now! We need everyone to hold hands. And we mean everyone. - Are we really doing this? - Couldn't hurt. Didn't they do this last year? We're part of the circle this time. Dad, do you hear that? It's for you, son. Won't you let me go down In my dreams? And rock-a-bye, sweet baby Oh, come on, people! Do you want him to stay dead? Come on, sing! Good night, you moonlight ladies Rock-a-bye, sweet baby James It's working. Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose I love you, Nate. Down in my dreams Whoa! And rock-a-bye, sweet baby James Yes! No. No, no, no, no. You're not in the temporal zone. We changed history. We changed everything. I couldn't let you die. No. Dude, you just came back to life. Something's wrong. Um, there was more pelvis in that hug than usual. It's all good, Nate dog. Love you, too, bro. Yeah, my bad, bro. It just feels like feels like something's missing. Ray. Aw, buddy. I can't believe you went all the to hell to stop Neron from killing me. You would have done the same thing. I kind of just did. Yeah, you did. Ah! All right, Time Bros - Oh, and Time Ladies. - And Time Monsters. And Gary? As I was saying, Legends our work here is done. Gideon, fire up the ship. It's time to hit it. I'm here to make a withdrawal. Whoa. These are some truly serious sinners. Cut down too soon, all of them. It's a real shame when someone doesn't get to fulfill their destiny. Don't you think? Everyone deserves a second act.