The Fancy Party

(Opens showing the view of a planet bearing a palace, surrounded by various airships. Zoom in to Lord Hater, sitting in a chair and having dressed up fancy, with a black bow tie and buttons on his robe. After his eyes flick back and forth, the camera widens to frame a table where he sits at, to his left sit Peepers and Emperor Awesome, to his right sit an invisible princess, a floating cube, and a flaming bull. All are dressed up formally, a long chair is in front of them)

Elderly voice: Ohh, welcome!

(Front-on shot of the person who talked, a female queen, she too is dressed up. Her voice is old and somewhat masculine, with a bit of a rasp)

Old Lady Queen: I've gathered you all here today, (wheezes) because I am dyyyyyiiiingggg...

(On the last word, her eyes roll back in her head and she lets her head fall over and hit the table. Cut to the attendees as they stare in shock; this gives a shot of what they're wearing. Peepers: Tuxedo version of his usual suit with a red bow tie. Emperor Awesome: Tuxedo worn in place of his usual outfit, sleeves torn up and light blue belt, light blue cuffs over his fingerless gloves. Flaming Bull: Tuxedo jacket with blue belt. Between Lord Hater and the invisible princess stand two Kremlons, one pink, one purple, wearing tuxedo plates and top hats. Of the gang, The cube and invisible princess are the only ones not wearing any formal wear. Cut from one shocked attendee to the next; back to Entozoa as she sits up)

Old Lady Queen: ...Ing to tell you something. (zoom in on her) I'm dying. (wide shot) But before I die, (pan to the attendees) I will bequeath to one of you villains – (cut to her, zooming out slowly to frame a triangular window showing the airships behind her) my vast empire and the extensive power which I have spent one thousand years building!

(Cut to Lord Hater and Peepers, they slap hands. On the bull)

Kragthar: (laughing) Are you a thousand years old? You don't look a day over four hundred! (wide shot) Heh, am I right? Who's with me?

(No response, cut to Entozoa as she bangs her scepter twice. Cut to Kragthar as he topples over, widen to frame him taken away by the guards)

Kragthar: Wait, no! What if I say you do look your age? Or older?

(The doors slam, we see pink lightning come out from the cracks)

Kragthar: (from outside, screaming) Noooooo!! (screaming)

(As he screams, cut to Lord Hater and Peepers as they look on, Entozoa behind them)

Old Lady Queen: That was desperate! I cannot stand desperate! (Behind shot of her chair, she points to the left) Whomever I bequeath control of my power to – (she slowly points to the right, camera following) must be one who possesses great strength, someone deserving. (front-on shot) '''I DO NOT! WANT! WEEEEEEEAKLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  (The camera zooms in on her as she holds out the last word. She coughs, cut to Lord Hater and Peepers)''

Peepers: This is perfect, sir! Now, there's nobody standing in your –

Wander: (offscreen) Sorry I'm late!

(This sentence brings them to shock as they turn around, Wander and Sylvia are entering. On the start of the next line, cut to a close-up of them entering, the former wearing a light blue bow tie, the latter a pearl necklace. Wander waves, Sylvia doesn't seem so impressed by this)

Wander: Hey, it's Hater and Mr. Peepers! (to Sylvia) Sylvia, and you said we wouldn't know anyone.

(Back to Lord Hater and Peepers as Wander makes a fart noise. They stare at each other as the title appears, freeze-frame. As Wander and Sylvia walk in separate directions offscreen, Lord Hater's jaw falls off in shock)

(Cut to the Old Lady)

Old Lady Queen: Wander! (he hugs her) So glad you made it, my dear boy! (wide shot as a guard brings forward an extra chair) Ooh, sit next to me!

(He does so, Entozoa giggles and applauds. Cut to a flabbergasted Lord Hater)

Lord Hater: W-W-Wander? W-w-what is he do – wha – wha – who – wha – why?

(Cut to Wander and Entozoa)

Wander: Queen Entozoa, (bowing) I can't thank you enough, for inviting me and Sylvia, to your sw-anky shindig! (bouncing) I can't wait to meet all your fascinating guests!

(Cut to the other side of the table, Sylvia has donned a seat next to Emperor Awesome)

Sylvia: And any of you well-behaved creeps get outta line, (close-up) I got a couple of guests I'd like you to meet, too! (holds out right fist) The Lady Haymaker – (holds out left fist) and the Duchess of Wailing!

(Wide shot, a guard brings forth a plate of finger sandwiches. Close-up of Sylvia as she gasps, she begins moving her fists like hand puppets)

Sylvia: (as "The Lady Haymaker") "Duchess, look!" (as the "Duchess of Wailing") "Finger sandwiches!"

(During the end of this, the camera shows the sandwiches in close-up. Widen as Sylvia grabs one and puts it on a plate, then suddenly opens her mouth wide and eats every sandwich on the plate)

Sylvia: (munching) Oh, yeah!

(Cut to just between Wander and Entozoa's chairs)

Lord Hater: But, your Majesty! He's not even a villain, he's like the goodiest good guy ever!

(Front-on shot of Entozoa)

Entozoa: On the contrary, Lord Hater... (bangs her scepter once, it projects a holographic picture of Wander reading "#1 Most Wanted") Wander is the number one most wanted fugitive in the galaxy! (Wander superimposes himself over it) So impressive.

Wander: Boink boink!

Entozoa: Someone has some competition!

(Cut to the stunned partygoers as she giggles and coughs slightly. Back to Lord Hater)

Lord Hater: But he's wanted by me! I did that! (standing up) Wander, I will not allow you to foil another one of my plans! Now! You! Shall! Di –

(The last four words are accompanied by the following actions. "Now": Peepers snaps up. "You": View from Lord Hater's pointing finger at Wander. "Shall": Full view of Lord Hater. "Di –": Peepers slams him out of frame. Full shot of the table as Peepers leads him out the door)

Peepers: Excuse us, we need to use the little villains' room! (doors slam)

(Cut to Lord Hater and Peepers in a bathroom, the former pacing back and forth, the latter standing on a sink. This exposes a clear view of Peepers' formal footwear: his regular boots but with white straps, each with black buttons on either side.)

Peepers: Sir, we've been over this. You cannot destroy anyone at a dinner party, it's very rude! And the queen is very, very particular about proper manners.

Lord Hater: But Wander doesn't even want Queen Entozoa's power! (banging body) I do!!

(We hear a toilet flush, and the camera pans to the right as one of the restroom stalls opens, and the cube comes out. It floats up to Lord Hater and Peepers in close-up, cut to their perspective of it. The background reverberates orange around it while it fogs slightly and it speaks in an unintelligible gibberish. Front on view of Lord Hater and Peepers as they avert their eyes and turn away; the background colors return to normal, and their eyes quiver for a moment as the camera widens to reveal the cube as it floats away. We hear the door open and slam; cut to behind them as there is brief silence, then the cube partially opens the door while chanting its mantra and the background going orange. Lord Hater and Peepers turn around and block out the sound; the colors return to normal as the door slams. Silence, on Peepers)

Peepers: Sir, let me take care of Wander. (wide shot, he straightens Lord Hater's bow tie) She's sure to pick you, if you stick to the plan, (powders his face) and act like the ultimate gentleman. (applies some roll-on under his arm, then straightens his back)

Lord Hater: Polite, proper, witty and charming. (takes a breath) Okay, I can do this.

Lord Hater/Peepers: Whoo-ha! Hate's great!

(Accompanied by the following actions. "Whoo-ha": Bend down, jump up and bump bellies, then jump back. "Hate's great": Hunch down and point fingers out)

(Cut to Wander and Entozoa)

Wander: What a lovely, evil castle you have here. (briefly holds her hand on the end of this)

Entozoa: Oh, stop! You know just what to say to a girl! (wheezes)

(Cut to between their chairs as Lord Hater sits down. His next line sound smooth and more manly like)

Lord Hater: I like it, too. It's got good parts, and then other parts that are also – good, too, as well. (grins) (Pause, cut to Entozoa and Wander)

Entozoa: Don't be a suck-up!

(Brief shot of Lord Hater's face, which drops into confusion. Cut to a close-up of his tray as a guard places a covered plate on top. The guard lifts the lid to reveal a simple fruit tart, cut back to Lord Hater as he stares. Back to his plate, panning from the seven forks on the right to the three spoons and knife on the left. Back to Lord Hater, be begins pointing in time)

Lord Hater: Esther...ate...planets...for...Tom.

(He stops, then grabs up the knife and largest fork as he begins cutting the tart. On Wander, he too has received a tart. Cut to behind his shoulder at the seven forks; he blinks, then cut back to full view as he scratches his head. He shrugs, then points up three fingers, then scoops up the tart with them and wolfs it down. His loud munching causes the other attendees to gasp as the camera cuts to them, Sylvia's mouth full of sandwiches. Brief shot between Wander's and Entozoa's chairs as Lord Hater watches, then chuckles deviously. Front-on shot of Entozoa and Wander)

Entozoa: Oh, Wandy! (giggles) How I love your devil-may-care attitude!

(She laughs, cut to Lord Hater as his jaw drops, then roars angrily as he flares up his hand. Peepers rushes up and pulls his arm down, then shakes his finger at him. Lord Hater chews his hand as Peepers jumps under the table; cut to under the table where Peepers is looking at Wander's chair)

Peepers: Say goodbye, you wandering weirdo.

(He fires up his blaster, but is stopped when Sylvia's tail grabs hold of him and bangs him against the bottom of the table. Cut to her as everything on the table bounces upward as a result; so do the three sandwiches on her plate as she proceeds to wolf them down in time. Emperor Awesome comes into the scene next to her)

Awesome: Better call the farmer – (Cut to an extreme close-up of Sylvia's eyes and zoom out, framing his smooth leg on the table) 'cause these calves... (pats it) are ready for market.

Let's get awesome

(Pause)

Sylvia: You can't handle this.

(She goes back to eating, Emperor Awesome turns around and hangs his head, moving a spoon around his tart)

Not so awesome

(Cut to the Kremlons as they speak indistinctly, drooling slightly. On an annoyed Entozoa, she cringes)

Entozoa: Oh, I can't understand these disgusting creatures! Someone else talk!

(On Lord Hater, his next line is delivered in a very stilted manner)

Lord Hater: Oh, I have a very pithy and impromptu story, that's sure to make you laugh. (Brief shot behind his shoulder at a scowling Entozoa, back to him) So, the other day, I'm flying through space, and there's this planet that's just begging to get blown up.

(Cut to Wander and Entozoa)

Wander: Why?

(Back to Lord Hater, the camera shifts back and forth between the speakers on their next few lines)

Lord Hater: Because it was.

Wander: But why?

Lord Hater: Because it was dumb-looking.

Wander: Why?

Lord Hater: Because it was purple, and I hate purple.

Wander: Why?

Lord Hater: (talking fast, really fed up) BECAUSE THIS GIRL I LIKED HAD PURPLE HAIR, AND SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DATE ME, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER, 'CAUSE I, LIKE, DIDN'T WANT TO DATE HER EITHER, SO LIKE, SHE'S THE LOSER, NOT ME! (slams table) SO WHATEVER, PURPLE'S JUST STUPID! OKAY?!!

(Pull out to frame the attendees, all staring at him, Sylvia with her mouth full of sandwiches. Silence, cut to Wander, now sporting a spoon on his face)

Wander: Hey, I can do this.

(Back to the attendees, all but Lord Hater burst out into laughter. Back to him, Entozoa is laughing, too)

Entozoa: Yes! (laughs) I...what a good one! (keeps laughing)

(Wander takes the spoon off his face on the end of this. Cut to a furious Lord Hater, he pants heavily, but shrieks as the camera zooms out to frame a guard ringing a handbell. On Entozoa)

Entozoa: Ohh! Time for dancing! Ohhhhh!!! (Widen to frame Wander)

Wander: Dancing?! But, before I let loose on the dance floor – (holding crotch, whispers) I gotta let loose in the little gentleman's room. (normal) So, if you'll excuse me. (zips out of the scene)

(Cut to Peepers in the bathroom, now entirely beat up and covered in scars and his suits and hat a little ripped up. He opens a bandage and faces the mirror as he puts it on his eye.)

Peepers: (sighs) That's gonna hurt comin' off.

(We hear the door open as it is seen opening in the mirror's reflection. Wander rushes past and enters one of the bathroom stalls. Peepers blinks, then jumps off the sink and rushes out. Cut to outside the bathroom as Peepers comes out the door and we hear a toilet flush; he fires his blaster around the door, sealing it. It bangs)

Wander: (from inside) Whoop! Door's stuck! (knocks) Hello?

Peepers: (chuckles) I did it! (dials phone)

Commander Peepers

Peepers: (answering phone) Sir, Wander is all taken care of! (Cut to Lord Hater, miming making a phone call) This is the moment we've been waiting for!

(Cut to a guard as he plays an intro on a drumset. Widen to frame three other guards in a four-person band, on keyboard, lead and bass guitars respectively. The lights change, and a rock ballad starts up. Cut to Entozoa as Lord Hater walks up to her)

Lord Hater: Your majesty, (bows, holds hand out) may I have this dance?

(In close-up, Entozoa rolls her eyes disgustedly and takes his hand. Zoom out a bit as she is dragged offscreen by him; cut to a long shot of the room as the guards and attendees watch from all sides of the dance floor. The image soft-focuses; Lord Hater and Entozoa begin waltzing with each other)

(Song: Hater and the Queen)

Lord Hater: Time as old as you

Lord Hater

And the queen

Beautiful

(Entozoa coughs)

Pretty things

Dancing in the room

Bequeath yourself to me

Hater and the queen

Entozoa: Lord Hater, maybe I was wrong about you. (pats his chin) I can't think of anyone more deserving of my power!

(We hear a scatter of metal as the music stops on a needle scratch; the lights go back to normal and the image refocuses itself. Both Lord Hater and Entozoa turn towards the action; cut to Wander, dragging the wrenched off bathroom door with a bunch of wall stuck around it)

Wander: Phew! And I thought I missed it!

(He runs toward the camera offscreen on the end of this. Peepers follows, but the door falls down on him. Cut to the band as Wander runs up)

Wander: (taking off his hat) Follow my lead, look for breaks, don't put anything in your ear bigger than your elbow. Let's go!

(He turns the hat upside down on the floor and drags it as five instruments spill out of it, before running off. Close-up of the instruments, clockwise from center: Banjo, saxophone, trombone, trumpet, upright bass. The guards' arms reach into view and grab them out of frame. Cut to a slow pan across the band as a peppy jazz melody starts up. Cut to Lord Hater and Entozoa as they look on, the former looking rather uneasily at the fact Wander changed the music. Wander comes up in the center)

Wander: May I cut in?

(Wide shot, he and Entozoa begin doing a funny dance)

Entozoa: Oh, my! You are a wild one, Wandy! Whee!

(On the last word, Wander dances by himself for a few seconds, before going back to dancing with Entozoa as Peepers rushes up. Cut to just behind his shoulder as Lord Hater gestures Wander, now dancing by himself, and pounds his fists together. Cut to behind Wander's shoulder as Peepers salutes and fires up his blaster. Again, Sylvia's tail grabs hold of him; cut to her as she holds a plate of sandwiches as she wolfs them down. She holds Peepers toward the cube, floating next to her. In close-up, Peepers tries to look away, but Sylvia pushes him toward it. Close-up of the cube, zooming in slowly as it fogs and speaks its mantra, while the background turns orange. Cut to Peepers, whose eye goes completely black as a bulb, and he whines. Widen to frame Sylvia as she tilts the plate toward her and the sandwiches fall into her mouth. Back on Wander and Entozoa dancing together, Lord Hater comes up in the center and butt bumps Wander away, camera zooming out slowly)

Lord Hater: May I cut in?

(He does a rather poor version of Wander's dance, but his moves end up causing pain to Entozoa as bones can be heard breaking throughout. Cut to a close-up of his smiling face; he looks upward as it drops into confusion. Cut to a slow pan across the attendees, each showing looks/sounds of confusion. Back to Lord Hater's face as his eyes turn toward Entozoa, cut to his perspective of her being shaken around by his grip)

Entozoa: Oh, no!

(Her head hangs low, side view of Lord Hater)

Lord Hater: No. No! I gotta save this, what can I do? What can I do? (raises head) I know!

(He gets his lips puckered up and leans out of frame; cut to Entozoa as Lord Hater gives her a passionate kiss. Cut to a slow pan across the shocked attendees; Emperor Awesome faints. Side view of the two, Entozoa releases herself from Lord Hater's grip)

Entozoa: What are ya doing? I'm one thousand years old!

(Cut to just behind her shoulder)

Lord Hater: But – bu-but – but...you don't look more than four hundred!

(Needle scratch, cut to a view of Entozoa from under his arm)

Entozoa: (pointing) Desperate! Weak! Pathetic! I can't stand desperate! (wheezes) The party is over! I have made my choice!

(The guards come up, cut to the door as Lord Hater is dragged out by two of them. Everyone else save Wander and Sylvia follow them)

Lord Hater: No, please! You can't give it to Wander, he's an idiot! He'll use it for good, not evilllllll!!!!! (doors slam)

(Zoom out to frame Entozoa with Wander)

Wander: Give me what?

Entozoa: (pulls him close) Wander, it is my wish to bequeath to you –

(We hear an explosion as they turn towards the door. Zoom in on it, green smoke explodes outward and flings the guards out of the way. One more explosion accompanied by a thunder clap, and Lord Hater appears, body surging with green light and hands electrifying. Close-up on him as he advances forward)

Lord Hater: Forget polite and proper. (His perspective of Wander and Entozoa) Forget witty and charming. (Back to him) I am not the ultimate gentleman!

(He lets his right hand fire some lightning, cut to Wander as that zaps by his foot, flinging him away)

Wander: WHOA!

(Wide shot, framing Lord Hater)

Lord Hater: I am... (reaches over Entozoa) Lord Hater, the ultimate evil! (Extreme close-up of his face) When I want something, I take it. (zoom out, floats upward) And I...want...your power...NOW!!!

(The last word is accompanied with him bringing his hands together to make a sphere of light, followed by him reaching them out as lightning flares all over the place. Cut to his perspective of Entozoa)

Entozoa: Okay.

(Back to the wide shot as Lord Hater stops glowing)

Lord Hater: Huh? (side view, leans toward her) Really?

Entozoa: (embraces him) Oh, such strength! Such force. (dips him)

Lord Hater: Oh, so we are doing the kissing thing, then?

(Cut to just behind his shoulder, now Entozoa speaks in a sinister, manly voice)

Entozoa: I will enjoy inhabiting your body so much better than this old hag's.

(Cut to Lord Hater)

Lord Hater: Yes! (realizing) W-wait, what?

(Wide shot, Entozoa's mouth opens outward, releasing a pink smoky spirit in the shape of a dragon's head)

Spirit: Oh yes, Lord Hater. That's the catch. (close-up) Just as I did with the queen, when I bequeath my empire to a vessel, (leans toward him) they may control my power, but I will control them, for the next – one thousand years!!!

(Wide shot, the spirit works its way down Lord Hater's throat, leaving his eyes and inside of his mouth glowing pink. He grabs his throat and jitters around, gagging. Widen to reveal a weary Wander as he feels his head, he notices the action and snaps in shock)

Wander: (gasps) Lord Hater!

(Cut back to Lord Hater as Wander rushes up and grabs hold of his body, squeezing it three times. On the third, the spirit is released from its throat, cut to it being flung through the air)

Spirit: NOOOOOOO!!!

(Cut to Sylvia next to a cocktail table with a goblet and carousel, munching and holding a sandwich with two olives on sticks. The spirit collides with the sandwich, bathing it in pink light as she notices it. Close-up on the sandwich, the olives blink, becoming its eyes. Widen as Sylvia backs away, letting the sandwich spin in mid-air)

Sylvia: Oh-ho! Okay, I'm full!

(The sandwich hits the floor; close-up of it as it realizes what happened. It speaks in a rather high-pitched tone of voice, with a slight English accent)

Sandwich: You stuck me in a sandwich for a thousand years?! (zoom out, framing Wander and Lord Hater as the guards come up) DESTROOOOOY THEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!

(Cut to outside the palace as lasers blast from the door. Lord Hater rushes out, holding Peepers in his fists, his eye now back to normal but looked weak and exhausted. Sylvia comes out next, Wander on her back. The guards follow, firing lasers from their scepters. After they fill the screen, cut to a side view of Lord Hater as Wander and Sylvia rush up)

Wander: Whoo-hoo! Heck of a party, huh?

(In close-up, he takes off his hat and gets out a bottle of orbble juice, and he blows an orbble around he and Sylvia. Wide shot as they float upward)

Wander: Later, Hater!

(Cut to Lord Hater's ship as he and Peepers rush onto the "tongue" as it retreats and the ship floats upward. Cut to the sky as the orbble and ship fly away; the sandwich comes into view on a plate)

Sandwich: Run, you fools. But mark my words, I will find you and you will pay!

(Pause, widen to frame Emperor Awesome as a guard lowers the plate)

Let's get awesome

Awesome: So, you're a sandwich, now? (approaches it) I'm totally into that.

(He gets zapped by the scepter of the guard, and he flungs out of the scene, babbling slightly. Zoom in on the sandwich, the background flares red)

Sandwich: EVIL SANDWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICH!!!

(Omnious music, snap to black)