Dream Machine

Superjail!: Season: 1 - Episode: 8

[incomplete & unfixed/messed]

Act 1
Warden: How about some wine, my pet?

Alice: Mm-hmm. [drink wine] Full bodied and strong, just like I like it.

Warden: Yah! [wake up]

Jared: Sir, the inmates are attacking!

Warden: Why can’t the inmates have held off their raid for a few more minutes? This riot is ruining my fantasy! [inmates come out, smashing Jailbot] Jailbot! Alice! No! [wake up] Yah! Oh, thank god. [pick a phone] Attention! Attention! All staff report to the conference room for an emergency late-night meeting!

Jared: The warden’s never called an emergency meeting this late. It must be extremely important.

Alice: It better be. I don’t want my new green-tea antioxidant seaweed mask to go to waste.

Warden: I just had the most terrifying dream. Alice, you and I were out to the most gorgeous dinner. I looked very dapper, and you looked stunning. We had ordered the most beautiful bottle of chardonnay when suddenly, the inmates burst in and murdered us all!

Alice: You woke us up because you had a bad dream?

Warden: Not a dream, Alice a premonition. But the only way I’ll be able to find out the what, where, and when of their plan is to monitor their dreams.

Jared: Their dreams? But how?

Warden: By finally using my marvelous musical dream machine! It’s simple. The dream machine will search the nooks and crannies of Superjail, showing me the dreams of all the inmates, and when it finds the villain or villains planning my demise, I will destroy them! Now, watch the monitors closely! Well, well, well! Here I am in the dream world. [inmates are falling] Ah, yes, a falling dream, caused by feelings of helplessness and insecurity, much like an inmate in a prison. How obvious. Idiots! [slam a door]

Old woman: Mommy wants you to carve the turkey this year, sweetheart.

Warden: Strangely heartwarming. Bah, I should’ve known. It appears I’m deep inside the id of the inmates, their most primal desires and urges, but who is planning the riot? Jared?! [slaps Jared]

Jared: Ow!

Warden: I’m sorry, is our "demise" at the hands of these incarcerated animals a little too boring for you? Out! Out! Get out!

Alice: Ugh, with pleasure.

Twin (right): Why sleep?

Twin (left): When you are having so much fun?

Warden: Maybe it’s my staff who’s planning the revolt. Yes! I interpreted my dream all wrong! Time to see what these Benedict Arnolds have in store.

Alice: [from speaker] The warden’s here to see you.

Jared: [tall] Send that imbecile in! Warden, you have screwed up for the last time! Get over here!

Warden: Ugh! Disgusting!

Warden (in Jailbot’s dream): That a boy, son. I knew you could do it.

Warden: Of course it’s not you, Jailbot. You’re not programmed for revenge.

Man: Get into the pile, slave!

Alice: Quit bugging me!

Fly: He’s beautiful!

Warden: Oh, I’m in their dreams! Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Of course I’m in their dreams! They know about the dream machine! They’re just trying to manipulate my emotions and throw me off their trail! But I’ll find out who’s behind this revolution! I’ll find out if it takes me the rest of my life!

Act 2
Warden: I’ll stop the riot.

Inmate 1: Get out of my dreams!

Inmate 2: Leave me alone!

Warden: They’re all against me!

Inmate 3: Get out of my head!

Warden: It’s a conspiracy!

Inmate 4: Leave me alone!

Warden: Everyone hates me! They’re gonna try to stop me!

Inmate 5: Get out of my dreams!

Jared: Alice!

Alice: Sorry. I think the warden has been penetrating my head with his organ.

Jared: I know! Me too! And just look at the yard. The inmates look like zombies down there!

Inmate (black one): He was in my dream again last night.

Inmate (skullet one): Yeah, me too. I no go to sleep no more. That way, he can’t get in my dreams.

Inmate (back one): If I ever fall asleep, you’ll punch me in the face! Let’s go take a coffee shower together.

Twin (left): The warden’s nocturnal missions are taking a toll.

Twin (right): It’s time to give the warden a taste of his own medicine. [teleport] You "gassed" for it. [press sleep gas button]

[skullet one & black one punch each other]

Warden: Must uncover the plot! They’re all about to get me! Et cetera. Must uncover the plot! They’re all out to get me! They’re all trying to get away, Jared! Not now! Now who’s playing with my organ? What’s going on?

Jared: Sir, your paranoia has made you mad with dream power! You are killing us all!

Alice: I need my beauty sleep.

Jared: Warden, I’m sorry, but you gave us no choice!

Alice: Your dream games are over.

Warden: You dare challenge me?! [get bigger] How could you even dream of defeating me?!

Jared: What are we going to do?!

Twin: [voice-over] Remember, anything is possible in your dreams.

Yeah! Ooh!

Warden: Do you think your foolish dream army can defeat the likes of me? Bring it on!

Aah! Hmm. What?

Get out of my dreams!