S&M Present

It's alive! Aah! Matthew, time for dinner! I'll pledge allegiance I'll pledge allegiance I'll pledge allegiance To the United States of Love § That was great, guys. Let's take 5. Wow! It's just like old times. This comeback is gonna be da bomb! I'm gonna get a bottle of water. Do you dudes want any? Bring me a glass filled with one-half Cristal, one-half Beluga caviar. I don't think we have that. Wow, Justin's really changed, dude. The yakuza! We warn you once, N'Sync! Now we warn you again with death! Ow! Oh! Hold up! You shot me! Hey, they were out of Beluga caviar, but they had some nice Sevruga Oh, no! Don't shoot! Don't shoot! We would not waste our bullets on a simple roadie. Roadie? I'm in the band! Oh, my brothers! I swear I will avenge you but how? "Yakuza invitational martial arts tournament one week from today!" How unlikely? But perfect. You can't enter that tournament without the proper skills, fat one. And will you train me, Mr. Miyagi? First of all, I'm Pat-effing-Morita, you nut sack. Second of all, you're too old for the training. So was I if you'll remember. Daniel-san, I thought I smelled failure. That toilet's not going to unplug itself. First lesson! Let's warm up with some stretches first. Come here, you. Unh! Ay! OK, let's set some ground rules here Aah! I really don't think I'm learning anything. Oh, my God! I'm on fire! Aah! Aah! Ready? Begin. - Totally awesome! - Totally awesome! - Attack! - Tubular! - Radical! - Awesome! Reaganomics! There's too many of them! Trust your instincts, fat one. Only one of these turtles is played by Corey Feldman. Trust your instincts. Corey Feldman. Trust your instincts. Corey Feldman. - Pizza is radical! - Master Splinter is way cool! Turtle power, dude! Clean, sober, back on television things are lookin' up for the Feldmeister! Hyah! Daniel-san! Clean-up on aisle five. There are forty-two pressure points on the human body which result in death. I will show you forty-one. The forty-second I may someday need to use on you. - Hyah! - My spleen! - Hyah! - Oof! Now I must introduce Badtz Maru to his god. - Farewell. - Thanks for your help. Omm Good luck, fat one. You won't be by my side? The true test of a warrior is to go it alone. Besides, I got a dump brewing that could choke a monkey. Can Joey survive the tournament? Will N'Sync be avenged? Does this look infected to you? Find out next time on Enter the Fat One. Ha ha ha! I'm gonna get ya! Pizza delivery! Is there any other way I could pay for this? How convenient. Yeah! - I'll do it Hawaiian style to you, sweetie. - Yeah! - Pool guy! - Come in! Take my ham and cheesy goodness! Ay-ay-yi! That's good! Plumber! The door was open, so I Wow! - Do it! Oh, yeah! - I'm snaking the drain! - Ooh! - Yeah, plunge it! - We're all having sex together! - Yeah! But seriously, that's $12. 99 for that pizza. Damn Jonathan is really tasty. Ay! Ay! Madre de Dios! Spelling bee at the apollo Different. D-i-f-r Damn! - You blew it, girl! - Aw, hell, no! Oh, no, she didn't! You wrong, girl! You steppin', girl! See ya! They're gonna love you. Big finish. What a twist! M. Night! In the pantry! Dude! Oh, my God! I just wanted to borrow a cup of sugar! What a twist! We needed the sugar because we're baking a cake for a fancy party. And you're all invited, Shyamabama family! Delightful! Let me just change into my good suit. Oh, honey, your good suit is at the cleaners. What a twist! Shyamamalanan family, meet our chef. I can't wait to serve you! Serve us? You mean serve us for the main course? As in eat us? Let's dance! What a twist! Yeah, yeah. One more, one more. Who didn't use a miter joint on this Jack-in-the-box? Ow! Ow! Why? And now, the thrilling conclusion. I'm Joey Fatone. I'm here to avenge the death of my band mates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here is sign-up sheet. You go fourteenth in line. Also, we gonna need a photocopy of your driver's license. There's soda in the green room and some broken glass if you want to roll your hands in glue. Thanks. I can do this. I can do this. Oh, my God! It's it's Hong Kong Phooey. - Number one super guy! - Number one super guy! Hyah! Ooh! Look what I got here! Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Come on. Get it, get it, get it! Huhh! - Huh? - Hyah! I need those. Hey, wait! Oh! Wait! Ooh! You got same tattoo! Bam! Hey, Joey! You can do it! Enough! Britney Spears? But why would you kill N'Sync? N'Sync? No, I killed REO Speedwagon. I hate those guys. - Actually - Really? Looks like I got some unfinished business with REO Speedwagon. - Beat it, fat one. - You wait! - Ooh! - What? My name is Joey Fatone. You killed my band mates. Prepare to die. Not so fast, fat one. Meet my home girls, Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson's sister. I'm Ashlee. Shh! The big kids are talking. - Five chicks? I think I can - Ha ha ha ha! Together, we're more powerful than we ever were separately. Kind of like doing one big stadium tour instead of a bunch of stupid mall tours. Enuck-chuk! I'm finished. - Don't worry, Joey. - We'll help you. All for one and one for all. Reaganomics! Of course! Together, we're stronger than we ever were solo. - Right, Justin? - Well, uh all right. Oh, yeah! Here we go! I'm doing my thing! Don't you tear up my heart! Aah! Unh! - Aah! - Aah! Unh! Unh! God should have spent a little more time on you! Unh! Aah! Ow, my boob! Yeah! All right! - Bye, bye, bye. - Bye, bye, bye. I pledge allegiance To the United States Of Love Nicely done, fat one. Now your mind and body truly "in sync. " That's how y'all endin' the show? That joke sucked! This whole episode sucked, y'all! Now, I'm gonna kill Joey! How do I get out of here? Man, it's hot in this box! Oh, I hate you, Joey Fatone! - Ba-gawk! - Bock. Only one of these turtles is played by Forcory for Fory Clel Clory Flu Cloris Leachman. Stupid monkey.