Parents & Pigskins

Bulldog Report program.

Ace: Ace McFumbles here. In two days, it's the Parents & Pigskins Game. Bulldog players and their parents will team up for flag football. You'll see screaming, lining, and bad sportsmanship. And that's just the parents. Here's a highlight from last year.

Cut to players. One player falls down.

Ace (V/O): He's at the 10. Denied! The 8!

One player falls down, and then the other.

Cut to Ace.

Ace: Ah, I love this game. It always makes me feel better about my own life.

Cut to the locker room. Coach Russell walks in.

Coach Russell: Alright, Bulldogs. After hours of deliberation, I've carefully selected the teams for the Parents & Pigskins Game. (turns the board)

Troy: You just threw the magnets on the board, didn't you?

Coach Russell: Didn't even open my eyes for it.

Sawyer: Newt, we're on the same team. (high-fives Newt)

Bella: Well, looks like it's you and me, Troy. Are you playing with your mom?

Troy: Nah, she's got work, and my dad's gonna deploy overseas, so I think I'm gonna ask my Uncle Milton.

Newt: Is he any good at football?

Troy: Well, he spends all day doing computer work for the government. I doubt it.

Newt: Oh, he works with computers. Interesting. Sawyer, can I talk to you for a second?

Sawyer: Yeah.

Newt: Did you hear that? Troy's uncle is a nerd.

Sawyer: So, are you guys starting a club?

Newt: No. This is my chance to finally beat Troy at something. He beats me at everything. But this time, I'm gonna win. My dad's really good. He played four years in college. And your dad was all-state in football, right?

Sawyer: Yep! All six years of high school.

Newt: Yes! This is the moment I've been waiting for!

Newt and Sawyer walk up to Troy and Bella.

Newt: Hey, Dixon! We're gonna crush you so bad they'll have to use dental records to identify your body.

Troy: Whoa there! That's a little aggressive, don't you think, Newt?

Newt: Well, maybe you don't like Winner Newt. But you'd better get used to it. Sawyer, you, me, game plan. Let's bounce. (walks out of the locker room)

Sawyer: (to Troy and Bella) I like Winner Newt. But I'm also afraid of him.

Newt: (offscreen) Sawyer, get out here!

Sawyer: Coming! (walks out of the locker room)

Troy: So, what about you, Bella? Gonna ask your mom?

Bella: The rules aren't really her thing. She thinks a quarterback is the change you get from a soda machine. (puts her hands on her hips) I'll probably ask my uncle, too.

Coach Russell: Well, I'm really looking forward to this game.