The Platonic Permutation


 * Sheldon: "I excel at many things, but getting over you isn't one of them. I think I need to just be your friend".
 * Amy: (Fighting back tears) "Oh, Ok. I understand".


 * (The opening apartment 4A scene with the five folks [Raj, Bernadette, Howard, Penny and Leonard] having dinner)
 * Raj: Have you guys seen this feature that lets you talk to Siri without pressing any buttons?
 * Howard: No. How does it work?
 * Raj: You just say, uh, “Hey, Siri, what time is it?”
 * Siri: The time is 6:37 p.m. Yeah. So now anyone can control your phone? Hey, Siri, show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
 * Raj: Nice try. It only recognizes my voice.
 * Howard: Oh. Cool. (he imitates Koothrappali) Hey, Siri, show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
 * Raj: I don't sound like that.
 * Siri: Here are some images of naked grandma butts.
 * Sheldon: Hey. Good news, everybody. Now that I'm no longer with Amy, I have an extra ticket to the annual Thanksgiving lunch buffet at the aquarium cafeteria. Who wants it?
 * (Raj, Howard, Bernadette, Leonard and Penny don't respond to him)
 * Sheldon: Well, you realize you won't be going alone-- I'll be there the whole time
 * (Scene of Leonard and Penny carrying on with their dinner without saying anything)
 * Sheldon: Providing fish and pilgrim facts.
 * (Scene of Raj, Howard and Bernadette saying nothing at all)
 * Sheldon: Can you people hear me?
 * Leonard: Well, we're having everyone over.
 * Penny: Yeah, Leonard and I are gonna be cooking all day.
 * Leonard: Otherwise we'd love to.
 * Penny: But we can't.
 * Leonard: Yeah, poor us.
 * Penny: Mm-hmm.
 * (Both Leonard and Penny each other five on their hands)
 * Bernadette: And Raj and I are volunteering at the soup kitchen, feeding food to the homeless.
 * (Sheldon now sits down in his spot on the couch next to Bernadette)
 * Sheldon: Well, Howard, what about you?
 * Howard: Oh... I can't. I'm going to the soup kitchen, too.
 * Bernadette: (she snaps at Howard crossly) You said that sounded like the worst thing ever.
 * Howard: If you can't support me when I'm lying, why are we married?


 * (The scene of Penny at the oven in Apartment 4A)
 * Penny: Hey. Where'd you go? I can't tell if the turkey's done!
 * Leonard: Be right there!
 * (Leonard enters the room in Penny's orange lingerie)
 * Leonard: Hi, lover.
 * (Penny gasps and Leonard puts on a silent shifty giggle)
 * Penny: (she is rather surprised) What are you doing?
 * Leonard: I'm sorry about the journal. I want to make it up to you. So I'm gonna let you post a shame photo of me on Facebook.
 * (He shows Penny a card saying 'I READ MY WIFE'S JOURNAL. I'M A NAUGHTY CARROT.)
 * Penny: (with a rage of embarrassment) I am not putting that on the Internet! I don't want people to see this. I don't want to see it!
 * Leonard: Don't want people to see what, huh? A little bit of this?
 * (He inmates a groove dance with himself and Penny sighs 'Oh' by this)
 * Leonard: Huh? Some of this?
 * (He puts his arms high into the air and grooves his hips)
 * Leonard: And, since it's Thanksgiving, an extra helping of this?
 * (He rubs Penny's figure with his posterior. Pan to Bernadette, Raj, Emily and Howard entering the room through the front door of the apartment)
 * Bernadette: Happy Thanksgiving.
 * (they all stop to look surprised whilst Leonard stares at them for a bit and he now exits)


 * Amy: Sheldon, I can tell that you want to go, so if you’ll be comfortable with it, maybe we could go as friends.
 * Sheldon: You don’t think that would be awkward?
 * Amy: Well, it is Thanksgiving in an aquarium cafeteria, so I’m going out on a limb here and say yes. But if you mean in-between us, I’ll think we’ll be fine.
 * Sheldon: Very well then, I’ll see you on Thanksgiving morning.
 * Amy: See you then.
 * Sheldon: Oh, and forget what I said about the Myanmar catfish. My list of marine themed pilgrim facts is pretty short.
 * Amy: Do you know the served shellfish and eel at the very first Thanksgiving?
 * Sheldon: And there goes my list.


 * Emily: So, how does this work?
 * Bernadette: The soup kitchen manager assigns the jobs, and the shifts are six hours.
 * Howard: Six hours? Oh, God, I don't want to complain for that long.
 * Raj: Do you ever do anything for anyone else?
 * Howard: I happen to be a giving and generous lover.
 * Emily: Are you and I close enough to say that’s creepy?
 * Bernadette: We are and I believe the word you’re looking for is “Yeech!”
 * (the door opens)
 * Travis: Uh, can I help you?
 * Bernadette: Hi. We'd like to volunteer.
 * Travis: Oh, I appreciate you guys coming down, but we already have enough people. Any other day, please, come back.
 * Bernadette: (she is now completely sad) Oh. Okay.
 * (Howard puts on a smug smile for three seconds
 * Bernadette: (smiling crossly to Howard) Wipe that smug smile off your face.
 * Howard: Maybe I'm happy that so many people turned up to help the less fortunate. (chuckles)
 * Emily: Are you and I close enough for me to say...
 * Bernadette: That he's an ass? He beat you to it.
 * Travis: I was wrong. A large group had to cancel.
 * Bernadette: Oh, great. We'd love to help.
 * Howard: Wipe that smug smile off your face.
 * Bernadette': (laughing) I can't!


 * Amy: Sheldon, we’ve known each other a long time We are perfectly capable of having a conversation without relying on a list that’s off the Internet
 * Sheldon: All right. Well, what should we talk about?
 * Amy: I don’t know. Just ask me whatever comes to mind.
 * Sheldon: All right. I know you’ve been seeing other men. Have you had coitus with any of them?
 * Amy: Man, I walked right into that one.


 * Amy: So you have questions about me seeing other people.
 * Sheldon: Just a few.
 * Amy: Go ahead.
 * Sheldon: How many dates have you been on? Who were you with? Where’d you go? Where did you meet them? Did you sleep with any of them? And how much longer to the aquarium? I’m getting kind of hungry.
 * Amy: Let’s see. I have had six dates with three different people. It was either for dinner or coffee. One I met at a bookstore and two I met online. I haven’t slept with anyone. The aquarium is forty minutes away. And there’s a baggie of Cheerios for you in the glove compartment.


 * Travis: We're gonna have you washing dishes. Uh, aprons and rubber gloves are here-- just... scrape, wash and stack. If you need me, I'll be around.
 * Howard: So we don't even get to be up front where the action is?
 * Bernadette: (quite worried) What difference does it make?
 * Howard: I don't know. I was hoping some poor kid would come up to me and say, (high-pitched British accent) Please, sir, I want some more.
 * (Bernadette grins crossly at Howard as she, Raj and Emily sort their aprons out)
 * Raj: You're in a soup kitchen, not a production of Oliver!
 * Howard: It's not like I'm expecting them to sing.