Mark Makes a Friend

Mark Makes a Friend is the fourth episode of the British sitcom Peep Show''. ''It aired on October 10, 2003. Lines in parentheses indicate internal monologues spoken by the characters via voice-over.

Transcript
[Opening credits]

[Mark is in an interview with Senior Loan Manager, Alan Johnson]

Mark: (Don't screw this up. No screw ups. Got to impress.)

Johnson: So, Mr Corrigan, we've examined your loan application and I just have one question for you - Are you a pathetic, worthless punk?

Mark: Uh, well, no.

Johnson: Right, because I'm going to turn you down as if you were a hippy parasite.

Mark: (Oh, yes. Yeah, I like it.)

Johnson: And then I'm going to make you feel like you're a turkey fucker. Why? Because I'm a big man, and you're a shit heel, right?

Mark: (Brilliant. That is just so spot on.)

Johnson: [Turns to the rest of the staff] Or I could treat Mr Corrigan like a valued and respected customer, and we'd both end up winners. Isn't that right, Mr Corrigan?

Mark: Right. Absolutely, dead right! [Shakes Johnson's hand while everyone else applauds them] (Alan Johnson, I'm in love. I'm in love with you, Johnson.)

[At the apartment, Jez and Super Hans have woken up after a drug binge.]

Man on TV: There are two basic energies in the world - Stress and relaxation.

Jez: Super Hans, what are we doing?

Super Hans: We are looking through the other end of the telescope.

Jez: I don't feel very well. Did something bad happen?

Super Hans: Everything's OK. Look, there's two basic energies in the world - Stress and relaxation.

Jez: Did I break through?

Super Hans: No idea. You passed out after the love beans. I thought the table was being ironic.

Jez: But what was the bad thing? [Looks at some floss, and has a flashback to the previous night, where Super Hans is in the bathroom]

Jez: Floss is boss! Floss is boss! FLOSS IS BOSS! [Strangles Super Hans with floss]

[Back to present]

Jez: (No, not that. Something worse.) What happened?

Super Hans: That will probably become clear later… Like the French Revolution.

Jez: I think we need to tidy up.

Super Hans: Absolutely not! That is the one thing I stand against. A thousand time no!