Telemarketers Are the Devil

Mr. Pickles: Season: 3 - Episode: 4

[incomplete & unfixed/messed]


 * [SIGHS] [MUNCHING, LAUGHS] Dad, is your job as fun as eating cereal?! [LAUGHS] [CHUCKLES] Oh, no.
 * [DOOR OPENS] Huh? Aah! Mr.
 * Pickles got a bunch of animals glued to me! Really? Mr. Pickles glued ani No! He told them to do it themselves! Mr. Pickles can speak to animals! He’s evil! [ALL SIGH] [COW MOOS] Aah! Damn you, Mr S03E04 Telemarketers Are the Devil Hi! I’m selling guitar weed wackers today, and Well, I don’t know why you’d need one.
 * [DIAL TONE] Hello? [GROANS] Goodman, you stink! Yeah, you’re the worst telemarketer ever.
 * Yeah, yeah.
 * Yeah, yeah.
 * Y-Y-Y-You suck.
 * But these products are ridiculous.
 * Nobody else complains.
 * You just have to act like these products are great.
 * It’s called acting, so make some sales, or go wash dishes for a living.
 * Huh? Uh, are y’all dishwashers? No, we’re telemarketers.
 * Then you’re exactly who we’re looking for.
 * - Hey, no! - Hyah! Hey! Where are you taking us?! Shut up, telemarketer! Get walking! Where are you taking us?! Stanley! Where could Stanley be at this hour? [BARKING] Huh? Footprints.
 * You sure have a good sense of smell Ah! Come on, Mr. Pickles.
 * [ALL GROANING] Where the heck are we?! Welcome.
 * My name is Mr. Montgomery.
 * Well, why the heck did you bring us here?! Well, my father once owned this farm, and, oh, what a wonderful life it was.
 * Oh, what a wonderful life this is.
 * Then, one day, the phone rang.
 * [PHONE RINGS] Huh? - Someone called a "telemarketer."
 * - Hello? No, thanks.
 * Father was polite at first, but after that, he couldn’t do anything - without telemarketers interrupting.
 * - Hello? No I’m not interested.
 * - Not made love to my mother, - Hello? nor to Uncle Dimples.
 * Leave me alone! And when it came time to pay the workers, the phone rang, and he dropped the money into the well! Workers drowned.
 * Father couldn’t farm the land hisself.
 * - Another telemarketer! - And we had no food! Mother begged him No more answering! So, he decided he wouldn’t.
 * - But then he did! - Hello?! He was instantly engulfed in flames.
 * He ran to the well, but the phone rang again.
 * Maybe it’s not a telemarketer this time! I’ll never forget his last words.
 * Telemarketers are the devil! Make them pay! So, from this day forth, you devils belong to me.
 * ALL: What?! Aw, I knew that’s where this was going.
 * Stanley! Stanley! Hyah! Hup! Hi.
 * Have you seen any telemarketers? They’re property of Montgomery Farm now, so beat it.
 * [SPEAKING IN TONGUES] [HORSES NEIGH] I’m sorry.
 * You were saying?! Don’t shoot us! Come on, Mr. Pickles!
 * - Get her! - Okay! Ugh.
 * [BARKS, WHIMPERS] Not the dog, you Dum Dum! - But doggy tell horsey steal our guns.
 * - Huh? What if a doggy bark sounds like words to animals? How dumb are you?! [LAUGHS] [ALL GRUNTING] Goodman, I thought you were a bad telemarketer, but you’re even worse at farming! Do it like this! Quiet! We don’t want trouble! No, do it like this, or you’re fired! Who’s making that noise?! - It was him.
 * - What? - Him right there.
 * - Hey.
 * Okay.
 * He just got you all a cording.
 * No, wait.
 * It wasn’t me.
 * No, I’ve been a good, uh, telemarketer.
 * [GRUNTING] [CRYING] [CHUCKLES] Mmm, save that for later.
 * Devil on the run! I’ll be back for all of you! Get him! We gon’ get you, devil! [BOTH CACKLING] Hey, where’d he go? [CACKLES] Just saying, what if the doggy talked to animals? Ain’t no dog can talk to animals! Doggy wake up.
 * Best eat him ‘fore he talk to animals.
 * Oh, that’s it! I can’t take this anymore! Just throw him in that snake pit! But what if doggy talks to snakes? You dumb-dumb! The dog don’t talk! Besides, snakes ain’t got ears! How do they listen? Snakes hear through vibrations! I ain’t got time to explain everything to you! Now, just get the dog in the pit! Bye, doggy.
 * [LAUGHS] [HISSING] [SPEAKING IN TONGUES] Now, for trying to escape, you shall be hanged dead.
 * Goodman, this isn’t easy, but I do feel an apology is in order.
 * Boss, no need to apologize.
 * No, an apology from you for being such a terrible telemarketer! Oh, just hang me.
 * Okay! [CHOKING] Hello! [GASPS] Livingston Bumblesworth? Uh, to what do we owe the honor? Just passing by.
 * Can’t control your telemarketers, I see.
 * [LAUGHS] No, no, no.
 * We were just preparing for a play! - Play? - Yes.
 * Uh, a play to show you just how well my farm is driving.
 * Cut him down! [GASPING] [BARKING AND WHINING] [SPEAKING IN TONGUES] Snakes hear through vibrations! Vibrations! [DRUM BEAT PLAYING] So, what’s the vibration? Oh, for the last time, you dumb-dumb, a vibration is the oscillation of the parts of a fluid or an elastic solid whose equilibrium has been disturbed as it can transmit sounds that can be felt! Huh? Now, you going to see how well I’m doing, Bumblesworth.
 * [LAUGHS] Start the play.
 * Montgomery Farm is grape.
 * Great! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
 * Uh, isn’t Mr. Montgomery powerful? Why, here he comes now.
 * BOSS: Now! Whoa! [CHUCKLES] Oh.
 * [CLEARS THROAT] [SOUTHERN ACCENT] I’m Mr. Montgomery, and I’m a great farmer.
 * [GROANS] [LAUGHS] Well, that’s just like me.
 * [GROANS] Actually I just sit on my big fat ass all day because I can’t do anything by myself.
 * [CHUCKLES] [LAUGHING] What?! Now, that’s more like you! What?! Hey, running a farm is hard! That’s son of a no good telemarketer would know nothing about it.
 * Well, why don’t you try being a telemarketer and sell me something? What?! Never! Oh, come now! This is quite entertaining! Hmm.
 * All right.
 * Bum, bum, bum.
 * Ring! - Montgomery speaking.
 * - Hello.
 * I’m a dumb telemarketer, and - Not interested! Goodbye! - Huh? [LAUGHING] But you didn’t let me tell you what I was selling yet! Ring, ring! - Hello? - Yeah, it’s me again.
 * Take me off your list! [LAUGHING] Well, that was rude of him.
 * - Ring! - Hello? Like I was saying I’m not home right now, so leave a message after the beep.
 * Beep! [LAUGHING] Hey! Well, this is very frustrating.
 * See? It’s not easy being [NORMAL VOICE] me, trying to sell guitar weed wackers all day.
 * Guitar weed wackers? Who’d want that? - Uhh - Goodman, you got it.
 * Yeah! Uh, I use my guitar weed wacker all the time! Nothing like playing some tunes while you’re wacking some weeds.
 * [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Huh, I’ve always wanted to play guitar, and if it was fun enough to wack the weeds, I wouldn’t need telemarketers! Today, I’ve realized that farmers and telemarketers aren’t so different.
 * I hereby declare all telemarketers free! [ALL CHEER] And I’ll take a guitar weed wacker, too! [ALL CHEER] Just let me get my wallet! [LAUGHS] - Huh? - Listen up! I’m taking these telemarketers with me! Honey! Honey! Everything is good now! What are you doing?! You double-crossing telemarketer devil! Kill them all! Oh! Oh.
 * [LAUGHS] Hey, where’d that snake come from?! Aah! Aah! ALL: Huh? Oh! That’s the devil! [DRUM BEAT PLAYING] What the hell’s he doing? Get him! [HISSING] Huh? What the hell? [ALL SCREAMING] Doggy can’t talk to snakes! Stop dancing, Dum Dum, and help me! The snakes just like the beat of his vibrations! You be a good boy now! Aah!! [BARKING] There you are, Mr. Pickles.
 * Gee, I hope everybody’s okay in there.
 * Goodman, you did save us all, so from now on, I won’t give you such a hard time.
 * Really? Well, thank Aah! Get away from here, snake! Snakes don’t have ears to hear you, dumb-dumb! Huh Hey, good afternoon.
 * I’m selling guitar weed wackers today.
 * I [DIAL TONE] Hello? Make some sales, or you’re fired, dumb-dumb! [GROANS]