The White Asparagus Triangulation


 * (Leonard left for the movies with Stephanie, leaving Sheldon with a note that he was going to the movies)
 * Sheldon: If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you, you couldn't have done a better job.
 * Leonard: Oh, clearly I could have.


 * Sheldon: So, the only advice you got for me is "apocalyptic genocide" and "Go easy on the cologne."


 * (After Leonard got stitches from Stephanie)
 * Sheldon: You seem like a perfectly pleasant person. I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you.


 * Sheldon: If I am permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win.


 * Stephanie: Hey! How's my big crybaby?
 * Leonard: I didn't cry.
 * Stephanie: I'm just teasing you, but yeah you did.


 * (Scene: Outside Penny’s door)
 * Sheldon (Knock, knock, knock) : Penny (knock, knock, knock) Penny.
 * Penny: What?
 * Sheldon (Knock, knock, knock) : Penny. Zucchini bread.
 * Penny: Oh, thank you.
 * Sheldon: May I come in?
 * Penny: No.
 * Sheldon: I see. Apparently my earlier inquiry regarding you and Leonard crossed some sort of line. I apologize.
 * Penny: Well, thank you.
 * Sheldon: So, have you and I returned to a social equilibrium?
 * Penny: Yes.
 * Sheldon: Great. New topic. Where are you in your menstrual cycle?
 * (Penny now gets very cross by that embarrasing question Sheldon has asked her)
 * Penny: (she asks with quiet angriness) What?
 * Sheldon: I’ve been doing some research online, and apparently female primates, you know, uh, apes, chimpanzees, you, they find their mate more desirable when he’s being courted by another female. Now, this effect is intensified when the rival female is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation. (Penny turns around to slam the door in his face) Which brings me back to my question, where are you in...?
 * (The door is now slammed closed as Sheldon thinks for one last second).
 * Sheldon: Clearly, I’m 14 days too early.