The Mutilation of the Master Manipulator

Hodgins: This is it?

These are all the remains we have?

Yes.

Can you get any kind of an ID from these?

Well, the length and lack of curvature of the femur indicates the victim was a Negroid male, approximately six-foot-two in height.

Nice.

But no name?

Right.

So you have too few bones, I have too many particulates.

So far, I've got salmon, chicken, corn, whole wheat flour...

Is it wrong that I'm starting to get hungry?

...Vitamin B-12, yellow #5, carrageenen, antifreeze...

Ugh, on second thought...

(footsteps approaching)

Brennan: Was the DNA viable?

Yes, and it did confirm that all the pieces we have came from the same person.

But whoever he is, he didn't come up on any database.

All the animal predation on the right metacarpal, it's gonna be tough to separate the peri- from the postmortem trauma.

Okay.

Take a look at this.

I created a map showing where each body part was found.

Bray: Whoa, no wonder rats went to town on this hand.

It was left in a Dumpster behind a restaurant.

Does the map say anything about a waterlogged upper leg?

Montenegro: Someone left the lids of their trash cans open when it rained.

We-we don't have nearly enough information.

Which means you can make it to your appointment.

Well, why?

We've solved murders with minimal sets of remains before.

If you need me to stay...

No.

Hodgins: It's the last day of his clinical trial.

Oh.

Of... of course you can go, Mr. Bray.

You must feel relieved.

Yes. And as long as I stay in remission, I'll be very relieved.

I'll tell Booth to have the FBI techs comb the area for additional remains.

Montenegro: I'll see if there's any pattern to the dumping of the body parts.

Maybe that will help them.

You are approaching a railroad crossing and are unable to see 400 feet in one direction.

Is the speed limit A) 15 miles per hour, B) 20, or C) 25?

You have five seconds.

Um... it's...

(buzzer sounds)

Pull over. You're wrong.

Damn! You know what? I knew that one.

You haven't finished traffic school yet?

Really have to sneak up on me like that, okay?

Listen, I have a lot more to do here, all right?

And if I don't pass, then Regulations is not gonna allow me to go out in the field.

Well, you shouldn't have left it to the last minute.

Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it. Anyways, all this is crazy 'cause of a couple of traffic tickets.

Just a couple?

A couple. You know, cops, they gotta make their quota. Right?

That's what they do.

Anyways, Bones called. She wants the techs to go back out in the field and look for more body parts.

Yeah, I'm already on it.

Uh, Angela sent over some help.

See, by triangulating the locations of the body parts we already recovered, she was able to significantly narrow down the search area, which she then cross-referenced with the garbage truck pickup routes...

Enough, enough, enough with the squint talk.

If I wanted to talk squint, I would go to, you know, Squint Land.

Right. So a lot... a lot of the garbage is already at the dump, but there's one more neighborhood where the garbage hasn't been picked up yet.

Thing is, we've only got, uh...

53 minutes.

Tell you what, why...

Are you studying Section Three?

For help, press Control-Shift-H. For sample questions, press...

Uh, you know what, I can't... I can't go.

I gotta stay here and I gotta finish this test, okay?

So I tell you what, why don't you just go with Bones, you take her, it'll be a good way for me to see how you handle working with her.

Okay. We get along.

Shouldn't be a problem.

Well, she's got a very, you know, original way of dealing with things.

Right.

I like original.

Well, that should be interesting.

Like looking for a prize at the bottom of a cereal box.

Apparently, you and I eat different kinds of cereal.

I'm putting my money on the Mafia.

The way the body was hacked up?

Very organized-crimey. Your speculation is a waste of my time, Agent Aubrey.

Right.

You know, cancel the Mafia thing. For now.

So much for pineapple being my least favorite topping.

Wow. Booth is a lucky man.

Traffic school's looking pretty good right about now.

I don't think Booth is enjoying it at all.

Has anyone ever told you you say some pretty bizarre things?

No, but I'm guessing that's about to change.

There's nothing here.

Perhaps we'll have better luck around the corner.

I hope so.

According to Angie's map, that is the only street left.

Dude, hurry up before someone calls the popos.

Chillax. We gotta do the intro first.

Yo.

McCarthy Middle School, what's up?

We're the Crash Brothers.

And today, we got a little something for you we like to call Human Bowling.

There, it's done. Now get in the cart already.

Okay. Here goes nothing.

If we don't make it, I love you, Mom.

(both screaming)

That's odd.

It appears these trash cans have been arranged like a...

Hodgins: Like bowling pins.

Oh, this is so not good.

And yet, I can't wait.

(boys screaming, whooping)

What...?

(laughs)

Oh, that's definitely going viral.

(laughing)

Turns out they were quite helpful.

♪ Bones 10x09 ♪ The Mutilation of the Master Manipulator Original Air Date on December 04 2014

♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method

♪ ♪

Good news.

FBI techs found more of our victim in a trash compactor in rural Maryland and in a dump just outside Roanoke.

Based on the texturing of the auricular surfaces of the ilia, the victim was in his early 50s.

Are you gonna do anything special tonight, Wendell?

To celebrate the end of your clinical trial?

Um, I hadn't really thought about it.

Well, you deserve to have some fun after what you've been through.

Brennan: Well, many people become extremely intoxicated to celebrate.

I'll keep that in mind.

The posterior plane of the thorax shows signs of animal predation.

Saroyan: Based on the length of these punctures, these look more like stab wounds than damage from teeth.

Brennan: I'll be able to confirm that once the thorax is clean.

Look at the ulna, Mr. Bray.

Judging by the pattern of kerf and striae, the victim was likely dismembered by some type of reciprocating saw.

Saroyan: Well, if we can discover what kind, that may lead us to the murderer. I'll make a Micro-Sil mold of the groove marks and see if we can find a match.

Montenegro: Is it too much to ask for a complete skull?

I mean, sometimes these murderers are so inconsiderate.

Well, and since no one of our victim's age, race or gender was reported missing, your facial reconstruction needs to be exact.

Hmm. No pressure.

Thanks.

The victim's DNA indicates he was biracial.

Bingo.

Okay, Randall Fairbanks.

Age 51.

Professor Randall Fairbanks.

Looks like he taught psychology at Kenmore College.

Why wouldn't the college file a missing persons report if one of their professors went MIA for an entire week?

According to this calendar, he started his sabbatical two weeks ago.

Aubrey: Are you okay with this?

Uh, what we're doing?

Well, I've been on a lot of murder investigations, Agent Aubrey.

I'm quite used to it.

But with me, I mean.

Because I think it's really cool.

I'm sure you do, but I will be reserving judgment until I can judge your value as a colleague.

So I guess warmth isn't your thing.

I don't really have things.

These flowers are all wrong.

I don't think they look half bad, for a guy who lived alone.

Well, these hydrangeas along the bottom, they're pink, while they should be blue.

I've seen a similar growth pattern on willow-leaf petunias while investigating a killing field in Nicaragua.

Blood. The high pH of the blood could change the color of the flowers.

Yes.

I'm surprised you knew that.

Well, I'm not an idiot, Dr. Brennan.

I took chemistry.

Well, the soil is soaked with blood.

So this could be the murder site.

Of course, I'm reserving judgment till I have more information.

Yes, you should.

What are you doing back there?

We can call the police, you know.

Oh, yeah, no.

We are the police. Uh, well, sort of. FBI, actually, so we're sort of like the super police.

Uh, Special Agent Aubrey.

This is Dr. Brennan of the Jeffersonian.

Woman: You're so young to be a G-man.

You be careful, sweetheart.

Why are you snooping around?

The man who lived here was murdered.

(chuckling): Oh, my...

That's a lot more interesting than mall walking.

Anybody notice anything unusual going on in the past few weeks?

When wasn't there something unusual going on?

For years, I'd hear screams almost every night.

It was horrible.

I heard it when I visited.

And you never thought to report it?

We did. But to the police, we were just crazy old ladies, and he was some smarty-pants professor. To be honest, I'm not surprised somebody finally murdered him. I've thought about doing it a few times myself.

Barbara!

Well, just, just saying.

Might not want to be saying that in front of a federal agent.

Who lives here with all the birdhouses?

Unfortunately, I do.

Is that a camera on the bird feeder?

Yes, it's triggered whenever there's bird activity.

We'll need to take it into evidence.

But it's hooded warbler migration season.

Aubrey: Okay, you do realize this is a murder investigation? But... well, just don't delete any of the photos. Please.

I'd love to see the hooded warbler.

Okay.

I'm going back to the Jeffersonian.

I'll send a team to comb the area.

I hope I don't regret leaving you alone.

That's exactly what my mother used to say.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

Woman: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the quality of your nursing care?

Two, maybe two and a half.

What?!

Ten. Of course a ten.

11 if this were Spinal Tap.

(both laugh)

Well, that should do it, Wendell.

Your final dose.

Your labs look good, and heart rate-- everything looks good.

(sighs) I can't believe it's finally over.

I know.

But unfortunately, I still have a lot more questions to ask you for the patient satisfaction survey.

How long is that thing?

(clears throat)

Oh, is that the page where you get to make up your own questions?

Yeah. That's exactly what this page is.

(both laugh)

Oh, but I got another patient coming in now.

Maybe we can finish this later?

Like... over lunch?

Sure.

I wouldn't want anyone thinking I wasn't satisfied.

(ringtone plays)

Oop.

I got to go, too. Work.

See you soon, then.

There is so much blood in this soil, it is teeming with blow fly maggots.

This has got to be the murder scene.

So maybe you could figure out the time of death by calculating the soil conditions and absorption rate of the blood?

Aubrey! I am impressed!

I will try that.

There's blood in the garage.

I'll check the house.

Have fun.

Bray: The blood is all over the floor.

Wow.

Well, if the killer used a motorized saw to dismember the victim, maybe it's still in here.

I already checked. No saws.

But there is blood spatter and some tissue over here, and some bone fragments mixed in.

Hey, do you think we're being tested, covering the crime scene?

I'd like to think the appropriate word is "respected," my friend.

(quiet rattling)

Sounds like something's in here.

(rattling)

Whatever it is, it could be the source of the predation we found.

Shh, shh.

(rattling continues)

(quietly): One, two, three...

(meows)

Aw.

Just a cute little kitty.

Poor thing's probably been trapped in here ever since Fairbanks died.

I'll call Animal Control.

Oh, come on, Wendell, don't you think Skinner here has been through enough?

What, are you gonna adopt him?

Man, I wish that I could, but unfortunately, Michael Vincent is allergic.

Hey, maybe Dr. B wants him for Christine.

I believe Dr. Brennan's exact words were: "domesticating animals is a form of enslavement."

And since I can't keep a goldfish alive...

Aubrey: I found a tablet in the victim's house.

I think this might explain all the screaming the Golden Girls heard.

(woman screaming over speakers)

No more. you're killing me!

You're killing me!

Please!

Stop, please!

So the woman from the video is one of Professor Fairbanks' grad students-- a, uh, Tabitha Coleman.

I know professors like to torture their students, but this is unreal.

Turns out her screams weren't real.

The video was recorded as a part of an experiment.

Well, what kind of experiment makes someone pretend they're being tortured?

Well, we're about to find out.

Nah-ha, you are about to find out.

You see, I have a date with Officer Stop 'n Go.

You know, between you and your wife, I'm starting to feel like I'm being rejected here.

I thought you said you could handle her.

You got a sadistic streak, you know that?

I have to deal with Officer Stop 'n Go.

I mean, if I could, I would change places with you in a second, but I can't.

Pfft!

Tabitha: So, these are the video files of Professor Fairbanks' experiments.

He was researching blind obedience.

Blind obedience?

Participants were told they'd be administering a quiz to a test taker in the next room.

For each incorrect answer, the subjects pressed a button on a device they were told delivered a shock to the test taker.

What is the capital of Peru?

Tabitha (over speaker): San Jose?

With each wrong answer, the shocks... grew more powerful.

(buzzing)

Tabitha: Oh, my God! Oh, God! Please stop!

Please. Oh, God.

Of course, that's my voice you hear.

Prerecorded. No actual shocks were delivered. But the subjects didn't know that.

Th-This is awful.

Why didn't this kid just stop?

Based on our data, 66% of subjects administered the shocks all the way up to 450 volts, which... theoretically is enough to kill.

And the people who administered the shocks, did they ever find out what they were involved in?

Because I'd imagine some of them would have been pretty pissed to be manipulated like that.

Yes.

Some of the subjects were quite traumatized and resentful.

And... maybe vengeful?

Some.

Yes.

I'm gonna need those video files, along with the names of those subjects.

I'm sorry, but that information falls under doctor-patient confidentiality.

(meowing)

Okay, Skinner. My simulated sun is shining.

My blood is in the soil pack.

Now let us see how these plants absorb it.

Buddy, you're gonna want to see this, all right?

This is gonna be great.

Ready?

(whirring)

(beep)

Wait a minute.

That cannot be right.

Are you having trouble pinpointing time of death?

I'm trying to extrapolate the absorption rate of the victim's blood into the hydrangea bushes.

But unless time of death was six minutes ago, my experiment is a bust.

Oh, I would've thought this would be easy for you.

Great. That makes me feel much better.

(Skinner meows)

(meowing)

Perhaps you're distracted by your furry friend.

Uh, it's not Skinner. It's me. Well, I guess I'm gonna just need to run the entire simulation again with more blood.

(sighs) Uh, what the hell are you doing?

I second that.

I need blood. Unless one of you wants to volunteer?

Uh, no, that's okay. I'll pass.

How are the... bird cam photos coming along?

Uh, unfortunately, the camera only photographed a small portion of the victim's backyard. However, I did find some shadows on the house.

Shadows? What kind?

Looks like someone was coming and going from the professor's French doors.

I thought you might have time of death, so I could narrow down which photos to enhance.

(groans) Hopefully I'll get it before I run out of blood.

And if you don't like roast beef, I brought chicken salad.

And if you're a vegetarian, I brought a grilled veggie sandwich.

You really didn't have to go through all this trouble.

Hey, it is a patient satisfaction survey, so...

Oh, right, right. The survey.

Mm-hmm. So... what would you say was the best part of your clinical trial?

Being told I was cancer-free.

(imitates buzzer) I'm sorry. That was the wrong answer.

You were supposed to say meeting me.

(chuckles) Isn't there some kind of rule against fraternizing with the patients?

Yeah.

But you're not a patient anymore.

The trial is over.

Oh, so do you do this survey with all your patients?

Only those that share a love of science and lame '80s music.

(chuckles)

So far you're the only one. (chuckles)

Lucky me. (chuckles)

You don't know the half of it. Try the Caprese salad.

Whoa. Dude, this is fantastic.

(chuckles) Thanks.

So...

I have, uh, my own little survey.

One question.

Shoot.

Is it okay if I kiss you?

(chuckles) All we're missing now is a romantic '80s power ballad.

(both chuckle)

♪ I've been waiting ♪

(both laugh)

♪ For a girl like you ♪

♪ To come into my life ♪

♪ I've been waiting ♪

♪ For a girl like you, a love... ♪ ♪ Waiting for a girl ♪

Techs pulled the right femur out of a dump in Virginia.

And the leg was found in an off-duty trash truck.

We must have about 70% of the body right now.

Hopefully that's enough to find cause of death.

Tearing of the tissue at the distal end of the tibia and fibula is quite prominent but dull at the proximal end.

Maybe the saw blade broke and was replaced by a new one.

Was Dr. Hodgins able to find the kind of saw that was used based on the mold you made?

The blade was much too common to point to a specific saw.

You know, considering the victim spent his career messing with people's minds, I'm not surprised by what happened to him.

Well, don't blame the professor.

I never would've pushed that button.

Well, according to the data, you're more than likely to.

Which is why civilized societies can become barbaric.

Germany had the most advanced public education system in the world, impressive industrial production, and yet they tried to exterminate an entire race of people.

Okay then.

Now I hate myself. Thank you very much.

The new thoracic vertebrae show signs of multiple stab wounds.

That could mean the left ventricle was punctured.

Which would have caused him to bleed out.

There's also bone chipping on the anterior of the sternum.

Whatever penetrated his rib cage was shoved in with enough force to go through his entire torso from back to front.

A sword?

Hmm.

None that I've ever seen before.

Hodgins: I thought we didn't have names for the students who participated in the professor's experiments, only faces.

Well, that's all I needed.

I used facial recognition to cross-reference student I.D. photos and found a kid that Aubrey should talk to, this psych student named...

Alex Heck.

He looks pretty harmless to me.

Well, this is Alex's freshman year I.D. photo.

Take a look at him now.

Oh, wow. He has a record, too?

Yeah.

Two counts of breaking and entering into Professor Fairbanks' house and dozens of threatening e-mails to him.

And he had a stay in the mental hospital?

When he dropped out of school.

And this is after Fairbanks experimented on him?

Yeah.

Seems like once the evil genie is out of the bottle, it's tough to get him back in.

Which explains Alex's e-mail to Professor Fairbanks.

"Until your experiment, I never knew what a monster I truly was. What you've unleashed, it's your fault."

Why am I here? You have no reason to bring me in.

But we do, Alex. See, Professor Fairbanks is dead.

Yeah. So?

So you threatened him.

Taste of his own medicine, right?

I don't think you understand.

You're a suspect.

Did anybody see me with him?

Did anybody see me attack him?

I don't think so.

You don't really seem to care about defending yourself.

Yeah.

So you lock me up. Prison, the loony bin-- it's all the same to me.

So you saying you killed him?

I could have.

That's what he proved, right?

That I'm capable of horrible things.

Just like you.

This isn't about me, Alex.

Sure, it is. His work was about what any of us are capable of, even you.

I'd like to focus on you now. I mean, you don't... you don't think that there were nice people in Rwanda or Serbia or even Syria?

Fairbanks proved that given the right circumstances, these nice people can pick up a machete and hack someone to death.

In-in the test, I killed someone. But not for real. I didn't know that at the time.

I killed an innocent person, and I don't know how to live with that.

Well, maybe you wanted revenge.

Maybe.

(woman laughs)

This is my first nooner.

Really?

Um, you were supposed to say "Mine, too."

I was getting around to it.

(both laugh)

It's okay.

It's exciting how much we have to discover about each other, isn't it?

Wow!

What?

Nothing, I just...

No, I just meant, like, you and I feels right, doesn't it?

I mean, it feels like we've known each other forever.

Yeah.

It doesn't feel right to you?

It sure seemed like it did.

No.

Sure it does.

You're amazing.

I guess everything's just, you know, happening so fast.

I know, but... what the hell, right?

Yeah, what the hell?

You know, I should, I should really get back to work.

Really? I thought we were gonna grab a bite?

Yeah, I know, but, uh, the time and, uh, um... a nooner isn't a really good excuse for being late.

Right.

I'll call you later?

Okay.

There's evidence of remodeling to the victim's lower left margin of the mandible.

Did you hear me, Mr. Bray?

Um, yes. The mandible.

Uh, and there are remodeled fractures in the lateral curvature of the sixth and seventh ribs.

Are you okay?

I'm not good at reading people's emotions, but you do seem distracted.

And yesterday you were smiling excessively.

I'm-I'm fine. Sorry.

Then please concentrate.

Judging by the degree of remodeling, these injuries appear to be about two years old.

Just before Alex Heck was confined to a mental hospital.

Maybe he came back to finish what he started.

Um, Mr. Bray, take a look at this color variation in the inferior margin of the left side of the mandible.

It's a cadaveric bone graft.

Yes, but from the prevalence of fibrous union, it's unlikely this procedure was performed in the U.S.

I'll run a DNA test to see where the bone came from.

Montenegro: I thought the problem was your simulated sun needed to set?

Yes, but over days.

So, let there not be light!

Perfect.

All right, now, all I need to do is add the blood... and it is snack time for the hydrangeas.

Excellent.

(Skinner meows)

Ready?

And... go!

Montenegro: Oh, hey!

Look-- they're starting to change.

Wow, it's working!

Okay, stop!

Montenegro: Ooh, I didn't know blood was so pretty.

Yes. Yes.

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Time of death was eight days and 14 hours ago.

I'll go isolate the bird cam photos from around that time and you should feed Skinner.

Yes.

Yes, Mr. Bray?

I have the results of the DNA test.

The grafted bone came from a Brazilian national.

Oh, Fairbanks was hospitalized in Brazil two years ago with a broken mandible.

It was a parasailing accident.

Well, he wasn't in good physical shape.

Parasailing seems like a foolish pursuit.

So, he was in Brazil with Tabitha the grad student?

No.

He was in Brazil with another grad student.

Victoria Andrews.

And I have the credit card statement showing that he paid for her plane ticket.

Before you change lanes, you should always...

Look in your side mirrors and over your shoulder. (clicks tongue) Bam!

Unless otherwise posted, the speed limit in a school zone is...

25.

I knew that.

Congratulations!

Only nine more levels to go.

"Nine"? All right.

Murder break-- a lot better than traffic school, don't you think?

So, whoa, whoa! Wait a second.

But one month after they got back from Brazil, she left town after getting expelled for trashing the lab. And that was around the same time that he started seeing Tabitha.

Jealous lover gets dumped and seeks revenge?

What-- two years later?

Seemed farfetched to me, too, until I found out that Victoria just moved back to the area to sell her sculptures.

Wow.

Garden art. Yeah?

So what?

Dr. Brennan said that he was stabbed with something that was really big like a sword.

And Hodgins found traces of copper, aluminum and steel in the victim's stab wounds.

Right. Let me guess. This is made out of aluminum, steel and copper.

Yup.

And that picture-- taken in Randall Fairbanks' yard.

You might've just found the murder weapon, my friend.

Dr. Brennan's gonna be so impressed.

I'm impressed.

Woman: I did not kill Randall!

Okay? I wanted to after he dumped me, but I decided that he ruined my life enough.

Well, then there are a few facts that you need to explain, Victoria.

You see, the metal tines on your sculptures are a perfect match to stab wounds on the victim's sternum.

The, uh, anterior aspect to be precise.

What are you-- a doctor?

No. But I work with one. Top of her field actually. And she and her team say that the metal you use matched the particulates they found in the bone.

I've made hundreds of those sculptures. I made one for Randall two years ago as a birthday gift. A gift... that's conveniently disappeared.

Now, you use a, uh, Kobashi 8.9-inch saw blade on your sculptures, right?

Because that's the same blade that was used to dismember the victim.

Yeah, that's a very common blade.

So, that's a coincidence, right?

Totally.

Well, here's another coincidence.

Randall was murdered soon after you got back into town.

Couldn't handle it, could you?

Being replaced by another grad student.

I told you.

I got over it.

Not before you trashed his lab, and got booted out of school.

That was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Running Randall's experiments made me angry and anxious.

Making art is freeing and cathartic.

Well, I hear that murderers sometimes say killing people is pretty freeing and cathartic, too.

So, where were you on the night of the 22nd, Victoria?

I was driving to a craft fair, in Fredericksburg.

So if that's when he died, I couldn't have done it.

Can anybody verify that?

You might want to call your attorney because, uh, things are really not looking good for you right now.

I heard the techs found more remains.

Yes, in the dump.

The right ulna, radius, tibia and fibula.

Not much more of him left to find.

Which is good because they won't be able to hold Victoria Andrews without more proof.

Has Angela had any luck deciphering the figure from the bird-cam photo?

(phone chimes)

Not yet.

Is everything okay, Mr. Bray?

Yes. I'm sorry.

Are you sure?

'Cause you seem upset.

Is it your health?

No. My health is fine.

I'm in remission, everything's good.

(phone chiming)

If you need to get that....

No, I'm at work, and at work I work.

I noticed abrasions on the distal end of the radius we just found.

Which I didn't think was a big deal until I found similar abrasions on the scaphoid.

Those look like groove marks.

I thought it was just animal predation, but after examining the radius more closely, I knew it was just one piece of the puzzle.

If I put the scaphoid together with the radius...

I got a perfect fit.

It forms an arc-- they do fit.

It appears to be a human bite mark.

And judging by the curve and the size of the dental arcade, the bite was made by a female.

Victoria Andrews.

I'll get a warrant and pull her dental records.

(phone chiming)

Booth: So Victoria did it?

Look at the diastemata of Victoria's incisors in relation to the dental lacerations on the victim.

Was I supposed to know what you just said?

No, you're just supposed to nod.

Eventually she's gonna tell you what it means.

Well, the spaces between Victoria's teeth are too wide for these marks to have been left by her.

See? I thought you guys would be working much better by now.

He does knows the pH of blood, which is impressive.

I got a high "B" in my chem lab.

Booth: That's great.

So we can't tie Victoria to the murder?

Only circumstantially.

Okay. Anything else?

Angela saw a female form in the shadow and the dentition appears to be from a woman.

So, another jealous lover maybe, but that just puts us back at square one.

If you want me to help, I got to finish this test first, okay?

Okay.

This road sign means...?

Oh, I know this one. It's A. Divided highway begins.

No, it's not. It's "Divided highway ends."

No. Aubrey?

I'm staying out of this one.

Based on the directionality of the arrows, I am correct.

Okay, you're sure about this?

Yes.

Then I'm gonna trust you on this one.

(buzzing)

I'm sorry. The correct answer was "B."

You're supposed to be a genius. (stammers)

Officer Stop 'n Go is wrong.

Okay, would you like to argue with an officer?

Go ahead.

Well, he's wro...

I'm never wrong.

You are at this instance. And I'm not going to forget it either.

Is this gonna turn into a fight?

No, it's not going to turn into a fight 'cause You know what? I'm going to argue with Officer Stop 'n Go and you're going to go catch a murderer.

All right. I still challenge it.

I was right.

Okay, you're right.

You're not-- you're wrong.

What are you sitting here, waiting for?

She's all yours now.

Good luck. Just nod. Remember, nod. It helps.

What are you looking at?

Montenegro: I used the time of death you gave me to pull the correct footage from the bird camera.

By creating a high-pass filter with an adjustable pixel radius, I was able to remove the low-frequency details while allowing the more in-focus, high-frequency details to remain.

As if I needed another reason to love you.

(computer trilling)

Whoa.

Wait a minute.

That's Fairbanks' current girlfriend, Tabitha.

Yeah. This photo shows her going into his house two hours before he was killed.

We've been focusing on the wrong jealous lover.

We've got video of you sneaking into Randall's house.

So I wonder, why would you do that?

I swear, I'd never hurt Randy.

His next door neighbor said that she heard fighting a few minutes after you got to the house.

So, what was that about, hmm?

Victoria? Victoria?

An old lover surfaces, maybe you get jealous?

Of her? Please. She's crazy.

Randy hated her.

So maybe it wasn't about s*x.

These journals contain the studies that Fairbanks conducted with Victoria.

So?

So she was just a grad student like you, but Fairbanks gave her credit on all the studies.

These are the studies that Fairbanks conducted with you.

Your name doesn't appear anywhere.

Randy had an ego.

He decided to stop sharing credit.

Hmm. That must've made you mad. And even a nice person like you can turn violent.

Isn't that what your last behavioral study was about?

We weren't fighting about credit, not specifically, and I swear, when I left him, Randy was alive.

I'm waiting for the part where I believe you.

Okay, look.

I snuck into Randy's place, but it was only to spray my perfume in his bedroom.

Wow, jury's gonna love that one.

Sorry to have wasted your time.

I was conducting a study of my own on Randy, to see if subconscious olfactory reminders of me would make him more attentive.

He caught me in his bedroom, and we fought, because I was conducting a study without his approval.

So he did want credit.

Yes, who wouldn't?

I worked my ass off for him, and somehow he thought that saying, "I love you" was enough.

I deserve to be acknowledged for my accomplishments.

Is this a confession, 'cause I should bring someone in to take this down.

No.

I did not kill Randall Fairbanks.

We fought, and I left.

And I never saw him again.

Andie, what are you doing here?

I'm supposed to be working.

You know, you can't sleep with me and dump me all in the same day.

You just can't do it.

Look, I-I'm sorry I haven't answered your texts.

Forget about me.

I'm talking about you.

You like me.

A lot. Yeah.

I do, but that's not the point.

Really? There's another point?

'Cause I'm pretty sure that two people liking each other like this is what everyone is looking for everywhere in the world all the time.

And we're lucky enough to find it.

So what gives, Wendell?

What do you think?

I mean, sure I'm in remission now, but...

Okay, if you're gonna do the whole cancer boy thing, save your breath. I'm an oncology nurse.

I see people die every day.

(softly): Yeah, but...

I don't want to get close to you and then have you see me die.

What I've learned treating patients... death is just part of the deal.

You know, we all come with an expiration date.

That doesn't scare me at all.

And what makes you so sure you're gonna go before me anyway?

I had an aunt who went on a bike ride-- healthiest woman in the world.

She and her husband were just pedaling along, laughing, madly in love, and then a tree branch fell on her.

Freak accident.

Killed her on the spot.

My Aunt Debbie.

I can give you her husband's number.

You ask him if he would've been better off if they'd never gotten together.

I don't know if I can do it.

Sure you can.

Just... maybe not alone.

Is it okay if we kiss here?

Who cares?

(chuckles)

(laughs)

Mr. Bray, if you'd like to keep your job...

Of course, Dr. Saroyan.

I'm almost done.

(both laugh)

Another delivery?

Yup. From a trash barge.

I'm running the particulates and trace now.

And I already took X rays for Wendell and Dr. B.

There's a deep cut on one of the fingers.

Oh. Yeah, that's actually where I found most of the trace.

Uh, the first thing that came up was antifreeze.

Well, makes sense. It was on a trash barge.

Well, it would, if I hadn't found antifreeze on the victim's right hand, which was found at a different dump site.

Are the left metacarpals ready for us?

Now you're in a rush?

Yeah, sorry about that.

Not too sorry, I imagine.

Okay, I clearly missed something good.

Anyway, I got some X rays over there if you want to take a look while you're waiting.

There's an abrasion on the second distal phalanx.

Saroyan: Yes, the victim was cut.

Maybe by the sculpture?

Hodgins: No, no.

It was a different metal. It's aluminum with less than one percent manganese.

It's what they make cans out of.

Um, it probably just happened on the barge.

Well, the curvature is consistent with a can, But this abrasion is perimortem.

Wait a minute, that might actually explain the other particulates that I found in the cut.

Listen to this.

Salmon, sardines, flax meal, chicken liver. That's everything that you'd find in a can of cat food.

Except for antifreeze.

Actually, antifreeze tastes sweet to animals. It's the reason so many household pets consume it and die.

Which means that someone was trying to poison Skinner.

Well, we need to examine him. Perhaps he scratched or bit the killer.

(meows)

Congratulations, driver.

Officer Stop 'n Go gives you the green light to get back on the road.

Ha, ha!

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, yeah! Thank you!

Why are you acting like your hockey team the Finers won?

Not the Finers, they're the Flyers. That doesn't matter. Look, Officer Stop 'n Go passed me.

Congratulations, driver.

What do you say we go for a drive to celebrate?

Well, right now I'd rather arrest a murderer who will also be charged with animal cruelty.

You were looking for me?

Yes, it looks like someone tried to poison the cat.

Skinner?

Yes.

So what's a skinny cat have to do with anything here?

It's actually not the cat, it's the bird the cat ate.

What bird did he eat?

I'm sorry, are you following this?

Sure, we've developed a shorthand.

We have?

Apparently. So, what did Skinner eat?

I found bone fragments in his stomach.

You cut open Skinner?

What? No! No.

I... I took X rays.

The bones were from a Bewick's Wren.

All right, you sound very excited by this.

Bewick's Wren is on Maryland's endangered list.

Oh, my God.

You're kidding.

Right? It makes sense, doesn't it?

Yes. I don't know if I like the shorthand thing.

I think we just solved the case, Agent Booth.

I'll get her dental records and see if the bite mark is a match.

You should be pleased with yourself for picking Aubrey.

He's quite competent.

Was that just a compliment?

I tell you what, why don't you just enjoy the spotlight for now and go finish the case, huh?

You wouldn't let anything happen to your precious birds, would you?

This is silly.

I wouldn't hurt a fly.

Well, it isn't a dead fly we're talking about. It's Randall Fairbanks.

As a lover of ornithology, you're well-versed in animal behavior. You studied the migration patterns of Randall Fairbanks so you could poison his cat when he wasn't home.

No. No, no.

But what you didn't know was that the professor was on a sabbatical, which is why he caught you trying to kill Skinner.

He grabbed the can of poisoned cat food from you and cut his hand in the process.

No, I-I don't think that's what happened.

During the struggle you bit him. That bite mark matches your dental records. During the struggle you must've pushed him, causing him to stumble backward and impale himself on the garden sculpture.

And then there's this.

The saw that you used to cut him up.

The same saw you used on your birdhouses.

His blood is on the blade. A child could prosecute this case and win, Ms. Von Mertens.

How could I know that he'd impale himself?

Do you know how many times I begged him to put a bell on that creature?

Would that have been so hard?

I-Is that too much to ask?

One little bell? (sighs)

I was just trying to protect the Bewick's Wren.

They're so beautiful.

There's really nothing like them.

(sighs)

Oh, Bones, I almost forgot.

I got you a present.

Oh.

Something so you can study up on your traffic signals.

(laughs) Very funny.

I-I apologize for giving you incorrect information.

You know what, I tell you what, I have been looking for something to hold over your head for years. So, you know what?

I have to thank you.

However, unlike you, I have never received a citation for speeding.

That's because you drive like a grandma.

Face it, Booth-- I'm a much better driver than you are.

Says who?

The State of Virginia, for starters.

So it's official.

Okay, so if that's a challenge, I hope it ends in a super cool drag race. (imitates engine)

Oh, that sounds dangerous.

Well, it's not if you're behind the wheel.

Instead of The Fast and the Furious, it'd be The Slow and the Serious.

I did once drive 83 on an interstate.

Oh...

Okay, that's it, you're under arrest.

Stand up, turn around, hands behind the back.

Booth.

No, I got to report it, the law's the law in Virginia.