The Leftover Thermalization


 * Sheldon: 2, 1, 6, 4, 2, 0, 1, 9, 8, 9. And that little lady is pi to a thousand places.
 * Amy: I’d say I’m sorry I asked except I didn't.
 * Sheldon: Oh look, It’s the Scientific American that covered the paper Leonard and I wrote.
 * Amy: Oh, let me see.
 * Sheldon: I have mixed feelings about doing interviews. I like the part where I talk. I do not like the part where the other man talks.
 * Amy: Sheldon. This article doesn't mention Leonard at all.
 * Sheldon: Well, that can’t be right.
 * Amy: It only refers to “Dr. Cooper and his team”. Did you even talk about him?
 * Sheldon: All I did was answer a few questions about the theory. And then express my gratitude that Scientific American doesn't include any of those smelly perfume cards.
 * Amy: Poor Leonard.
 * Sheldon: Why? The theory he came up with just got mentioned in Scientific American. He ought to be thrilled.
 * Amy: He might not be.
 * Sheldon: Oh, well. You might be right. He is kind of a lump.
 * Amy: Think about it. How would you feel if you were referred to as part of Leonard’s team?
 * Sheldon: Oh, I’d be incensed.
 * Amy: So you see what I’m getting at?
 * Sheldon: Squeaky wheel gets the grease?
 * Amy: No.
 * Sheldon: Grass is always greener?
 * Amy: Try again.
 * Sheldon: I don’t know. We’re all Groot?
 * Amy: Leonard is as much a part of the paper as you are and he was overlooked. He’s going to feel bad.
 * Sheldon: But it wasn't my fault. I didn't exclude him. And I didn't write the article.
 * Amy: Remember that time you didn't get picked to pull the sword out of the stone at Disneyland and he let that other kid do it?
 * Sheldon: Oh, that kid! Poor Leonard.
 * Amy: Exactly.
 * Sheldon: For the record that kid was a terrible choice. If you cry when you drop your Churro, you do not have what it takes to rule England.


 * Sheldon: You know it’s like when Stan Lee and Steve Ditko created Spider-man. Stan Lee may get all the credit, but Steve Ditko knows he was just as important. Even though Stan Lee gets to be in all the Marvel movies, and he’s far richer. And he’s a household name, you know. Whereas, you know, if you say Ditko and that sounds like a company that makes Dits.


 * Penny: I mean who even reads Scientific American?
 * Leonard: It’s kind of a big deal.
 * Penny: If it’s such a big deal how come the biggest celebrity that they could get for the cover is a molecule?
 * Leonard: Can we please just stop talking about it?
 * Penny: I’m sorry. What can I do?
 * Leonard: Nothing. I’m fine.
 * Penny: No, no. I’m going to cheer you up. Here we go.
 * Leonard: What are we doing?
 * Penny: I am taking you shopping. Oh. My baby is sad and I am going to make him happy again.
 * Leonard: Look, I know shopping cheers you up, but it’s just not really my thing.
 * Penny: What about this helicopter you control with an iPad?
 * Leonard: Does it have a camera in it?
 * Penny: It does have a camera in it.
 * Leonard: Baby’s listening.


 * Sheldon: All he had was an idea.
 * Amy: Well, that is an important part.
 * Sheldon: Oh please. I have ideas all day long. Reversed Sea World where dolphins are allowed to pet people. A new clothing size between medium and large called marge. Snow White retold from the point of view of Sneezy. Why won’t Doc prescribe him something? We finally find out.


 * Sheldon: Is it my fault that I have a much bigger reputation that he does?
 * Amy: It’s not your fault.
 * Sheldon: Is it my fault that my name came first on the paper alphabetically?
 * Amy: Not your fault.
 * Sheldon: Is it my fault that when the reporter cited me as the lead scientist, I didn't correct him?
 * Amy: Oh, look at the pretty bird.


 * Howard: She thought she could cure anything with her cooking. Even the time I got food poisoning from her cooking.


 * Howard: Oh, man. This is the boutonniere from my high school prom, a piece of cake from my Bar Mitzvah.
 * Bernadette: Did she throw anything away?
 * Howard: No. If I find my foreskin, I’m going to kill myself.


 * Penny: Wow, it really looks pretty in here.
 * Stuart: Yeah, turns out half a dozen Menorahs really sets a mood.
 * Leonard: So, Stuart, have thought what’ll you do if Howard sells the house?
 * Stuart: And there go the mood.


 * Penny: This food is amazing.
 * Raj: Mmmm and not a vegetable in sight.
 * Howard: That’s not true. We’ve got tomatoes right here.
 * Amy: All these bright people sitting around a table by candlelight feels like we’re in an eighteenth century French salon.
 * Sheldon: Indeed. Penny, a salon is a gathering where intellectuals entertained each other with sparkling conversation about the issues of the day.
 * Penny: Oh, so it’s like The View.
 * Amy: Sheldon, The View is a daytime talk show hosted by women.
 * Sheldon: Oh, I’m aware. It features Whoopi Goldberg. She played Guinan on Star trek: Next Gen. Penny, Next Gen refers to Star Trek...
 * Penny: Shut up.
 * Raj: I would like to propose a salon topic.
 * Amy: Ooo, please do Rajesh.
 * Raj: The lead in “The Hunger Games” is a woman. Marvel has made “Thor” a female.
 * Penny: Wait, who’s Thor?
 * Raj: You know. Thor, the God of Thunder? As I was saying, is this a sign that our society is approaching gender equality?
 * Howard: Certainly a lot more women are reading comic books now.
 * Stuart: It’s true. At the store I had to put a seat on the toilet.
 * Amy: we don’t know there’s equality until female Thor has a baby and the Avengers are cool with her pumping breast milk at work.
 * Howard: I wonder if only a baby who is worth can suckle at the bosom of Thor?
 * Penny: Okay, new salon topic. Salons – Dumb things from a long time ago or interesting thing made dumb by talking about superheroes? Discuss.
 * Sheldon: I don’t believe it matters what the topic is. What’s crucial for a salon is that we discuss it in an elevated and insightful way. It’s all about the execution.
 * Leonard: Of course you focus on that rather than the inspiration. Um, new salon topic. What is more important, an idea or its execution?
 * Bernadette: Oh, that’s fun.
 * Sheldon: Well, good for you, Leonard. That’s a lovely little notion. Kind of like. “I wish I could talk to my uncle in Chicago.” Yeah, now stand back while I invent the telephone. “Hello, hold on.” Leonard. It’s your uncle. He says you just got burned.
 * Amy: Sheldon.
 * Penny: Guys.
 * Leonard: You guys. No, it’s okay. We’re adults trying to have an intelligent conversation. At least I am. Howard, what do you think?
 * Howard: Well, I guess as an engineer I lean toward execution. I spend my days trying to take ideas making them real.
 * Sheldon: Well said, old chap. I though eloquence had died, but it stands before us. Starting today it’ll go “The Gettysburg Address”, “I have a dream” and what you just said.
 * Leonard: Oh, now he’s a genius? All you ever do it make fun of him and engineering.
 * Sheldon: Leonard, please. His mother just died.
 * Leonard: You’re being ridiculous.
 * Sheldon: Yeah, so are you.
 * Penny: Guys, if I want to hear people be bitchy, I’d go to my real salon.
 * Sheldon: Leonard, lots of people could've had that idea, but few people could’ve worked out the math like I did.
 * Leonard: Lots of people didn't have that idea, like everybody in the entire world except for me.
 * Sheldon: Oh, well apparently Leonard thinks that he’s better than everybody in the whole world (Bernadette now gets very cross) including those fighting for our freedom. Yeah, well, I don’t know about you, but I support our boys overseas.
 * Amy: And girls.
 * Sheldon: Hey, you already ruined Thor. Give it a rest.
 * Leonard: So I’m supposed be okay with you hogging all the credit?
 * Sheldon: I didn't hog anything. Unlike you and that weird lasagna with raisins in it.
 * Leonard: You want some of this? I'll give you some.
 * (Bernadette now strides up with rage)
 * Bernadette: (She is gigantically angry) Sheldon! Leonard! Living room! Right now!
 * (Leonard puts his dish down in disgust, Sheldon bangs his fist on the table and both men hurry from the table in a rage together)
 * Sheldon: She said my name first; that must kill you.
 * Bernadette: (out of vision) I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but this is a very difficult time for my husband!
 * (Scene of Raj and Amy while Bernadette's angry voice is heard in the background)
 * Bernadette: (out of vision) We’re eating the last food his mother ever made, and you’re going to throw it at each other like children?!
 * (scene of Stuart and Penny while Bernadette's angry voice, now sounding increasingly - and disturbingly - like Mrs. Wolowitz, is heard in the background)
 * Bernadette: (out of vision) Whatever it is you’re fighting about (Scene of Howard thinking to himself whilst listening to his angry wife) put it aside, go back in there and be a good friend to Howard or there’s no dessert for either of you!
 * (Scene of a surprised Stuart and Penny and then comes the scene of a puzzled Raj and Amy. Bernadette's angry voice in the background starts again as we pan to the scene of Howard)
 * Bernadette: (out of vision) Look at me when I’m talking to you! And don’t think...
 * Howard: You guys ever notice sometimes Bernadette sounds like my mom?
 * (Everyone goes into denial mode)
 * Amy: I don’t hear it.
 * Penny and Stuart: No,
 * Raj: not at all.
 * (The dinner scene ends)


 * (The scene in the living room of the Wolowitz house where Penny, Amy and the five men are sitting down and groaning after all the food that they have eaten)
 * Penny: (groaning) I don’t think I’ve eaten that much in my entire life.
 * (Scene of Howard)
 * Howard: (groaning) It’s why my people wandered the desert for 40 years. Took that long to walk it off.
 * (Scene of Sheldon and Penny)
 * Sheldon: (groaning) You see, Penny, the Israelites were in the desert...
 * Penny: (groans to Sheldon) Shut uuuup!
 * (scene of Raj)
 * Raj: (groaning) So glad you two are done fighting.
 * (Scene of Leonard and Penny)
 * Leonard: (groaning) Right now, I’m just trying to burp without throwing up.
 * Sheldon: Hang on. (pan to the three on the sofa together) Physics Today mentioned the paper.
 * Stuart: (asking with a groan) What’d they say?
 * Amy: (in quite a low voice with her groan) Who cares? Did they mention Leonard?
 * Sheldon: (informing everybody with his groan) They did.
 * All: (groaning) Yay.
 * (Here is the scene of Bernadette arrive on top of the stairs a pot of Tums)
 * Bernadette: Good news - I found my Tums!
 * All: (cheering) Yaaaay!