Men in Black to the Future / Pokemon of Interest

(Agent J walks in a store)

Agent J: Listen, my name is Agent J and I need to go back to the year 1969 to save Agent K. What do you got?

Seller: Well, let's see... We have a DeLorean.

Agent J: Yes!

Seller: But, that's taken.

Agent J: Aw.

Seller: There's a phone booth.

Agent J: Alright!

Seller: But that's out too.

Agent J: Great.

Seller: Looks like all we have is this.

Agent J: A pocket Mr. T?

Mr. T: (voice only) Quit your jibber-jabbing!

Seller: What? No, wait... There's the one! And all you have to do is... (Scene goes to top of a building) ...jump off this building!

Unknown voice: Quit your jibber-jabbing!

Seller: Sorry. Must've pushed the button again.

Agent J: No. That was me. Quit your jibber-jabbing and come up with a better idea! I ain't jumping off this building!

Seller: No you're right, I'm PUSHING YOU!

(Pushes Agent J, causing him to scream)

(Transports to a hayhouse)

Agent J: Whoa! THAT was close. I could've hurt myself.

(DeLorean crashes)

Marty McFly: I made it to 1955!

Agent J: Oh yeah, sure, YOU get the DeLorean!

(Title card: Men in Black to the Future)

Agent J: Man, I wanted to go to 1969, not 1955.

Marty McFly: What's the difference?

Agent J: In 1969 everyone's all... ''Hey! Watch where you're goin'! But in '55, people more like... Hey, let's jitterbug, so we can..." Yeah, I don't know the difference.''

Biff Tannen: MCFLY!!!

Agent J: Well, I have to go to a building to jump off to save Agent K, so good luck at that fish dance.

(Scene goes to a building)

Agent J: Whatever dumb thing you're doing gonna take long? Cuz' I need to jump off this building!

Dr. Emit Brown: I'm sending that kid BACK TO THE FUTURE!

Agent J: Really? Using what?

Dr. Emit Brown: Lightning!

(Agent J get's shocked and transports to Sesame Street)

Big Bird: Hi there! Are you lost?

Agent J: I'm looking for K.

Big Bird: You mean him?

K puppet: You use me to spell the word KRISPY!

(Agent J looks at Snap, Crackle, and Pop)

Agent J: You dwarves are confusing the KIDS OF AMERICA! But no, that's not the K I meant. By the way is there anything tall I can jump from here?

Agent J: Alright that's almost high enough! Is there anything else you can shove under there?

Elmo: Hi everybody! Elmo wants to be your friend!

Agent J: Yeah, Yeah let's step on him.

Elmo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

STOMP!

(Agent J transports to a base)

Colonel Phillips: Can I help you son?

Agent J: K! It's you!

Colonel Phillips: Young man I'm Colonel Phillips of the U.S. army. And you are interferring with our super soldier expirement. The most important expirement of the 1940s.

Agent J: 1940s?! Man, you must be born looking old. But haven't I seen you in the year 2012?

Captain America: Yeah.

Agent J: So, get me to the year 1969 the same way YOU made it to 2012.

Captain America: Sure.

(Throws Agent J in an ice block)

27 years later

Agent J: Man THAT WAS NOT COOL! I mean it was cold but you know what I mean.

Unknown Person: Son, you just came out of a block of ice on top of a rocket ship.

Agent J: K! It's you! I mean sounds like you but you look like a different...You know what? FORGET IT! I'm going back to a simpler time!

(Transports to Will Smith's house (You know he is Will Smith!))

Will's Dad: William! You are GROUNDED!

Agent J: (Now Will Smith) Oh, man, yeah! It's good to be the prince!

(Audience claps and segment ends)

(Start with Harold Finch and John Reese on a bench)

Harold Finch: I know the work you did for the government. I know the doubts you came to have about that work. I also know every line from every episode of Gravity Falls. (After this skit, you probably knew more lines, Finch.)

John Reese: (Confused, not knowing what Gravity Falls is) Huh?

Harold Finch: It's a show on Disney. It's pretty good. Whatever.

John Reese: Tell me what I'm doing here!

Harold Finch: I've built a computer (Cuts to different images (Including Dipper and Mabel) on a computer) system for the government capable of tracking persons (IT SHOULD BE "PEOPLE") of interest.

John Reese: Why do you need me?

Harold Finch: 'Cause our last guy (Pulls out Ash Ketchum's hat) couldn't seem to hack it.

John Reese: Wait. You're not saying...

Harold Finch: Yep! (Hands John a folder with Psyduck files) By "person", I mean "Pokemon", and by "interest", I mean... (John glares at Harold... maybe?) Actually, I still mean the "interest" part.

(Title card: Pokémon of Interest)

Harold Finch: Something bad is going to happen. That Pokémon is involved somehow. You need to catch him before it's too late.

John Reese: This all seems like, kind of a stretch.

Harold Finch: J.J Abrams is attached to this project, it doesn't have to make sense! Also, his name is Psyduck.

John Reese: And what does he have to do with anything?

Harold Finch: I don't know, the Pokédex just gives me a number. I'd pull up more information, but I get no reception in this office. ARGH! WHY did I give up my LAND Pokédex?

(Outside)

John Reese: Wait! I see a yellow-billed creature in the distance! It must be-- Oh, no, wait it's just Tori Spelling.

(Tori spelling quacks she walks by)

John Reese: Wait! I see him!

(John runs and climbs over a bench)

John Reese: Wow, that was easy. I don't know what those kids're always complaining...

(Psyduck uses Psychic on John Reese and John blasts off)

Harold Finch: You fool! You know nothing of Pokemon, or Gravity Falls! You have to catch Pokémon with POKÉBALLS!

John Reese: I'm sorry, your Pokédex is breaking up. Did you say...

Harold Finch: POKÉBALLS!!!

(Outside. John has a ton of different colored Pokéballs. He starts throwing them at Psyduck)

John Reese: Okay, that one didn't work. How 'bout a green one? Maybe blue? Yellow? Hang on a sec...

(John pulls out a baseball bat and whacks Psyduck offscreen)

Harold Finch: I like the way you think. What have you been DOING for fourteen seasons?

(Ash shrugs)

John Reese: Okay! I delivered him. Now what

Harold Finch: Now we return him to The Island.

Jorge Garcia: Come on little guy. I'm here to take you back to The Island.

John Reese: Wait a minute. Do you mean the Island from "Lost", or the island from Alcatraz?

Jorge Garcia: Does it matter? I'm same character in both shows.

(He takes the Psyduck and rides off on the Smoke Monster)

John Reese: I still say this doesn't make any sense.

Harold Finch: (Wagging his finger at Reese) What part of J.J. Abrams DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?