Dead Man's Curve

Mr. Pickles: Season: 1 - Episode: 5

[incomplete & unfixed/messed]


 * My chest hurts.
 * - Nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh.
 * - Yeah, shut up, bitch.
 * Move it, fleabag.
 * - Hi!
 * - Shut up, loser.
 * I’m not a loser
 * Mr. Pickles!
 * [opening]
 * Good idea, boy.
 * This is gonna be - the best soap box derby ever.
 * - Oh.
 * Dad? I’m not bringing you food anymore.
 * I can’t leave my room. Last time I took a shower, Mr. Pickles replaced my soap with a human face. Aah! Aah! I used my gardening gloves, and they were filled with a human face! I opened up my book, and out fell a human face! Mr. Pickles is evil. Why won’t anybody believe me!
 * - Ohh.
 * - Ooh, sorry, honey.
 * I’m late! Aren’t you gonna have breakfast? - Some of us have jobs to get to.
 * - Taking care of this house is a job, too.
 * Good one, honey.
 * - Bye! Off to work! - Oh! Not only does Miravac 2000 come with a warranty, but it’s cordless! We’re off to check out the racecourse, mom! - Tommy, the mess! - Let me get that.
 * We don’t want anybody to think mom’s not doing her job.
 * - Huh.
 * Maybe we do.
 * - Okay.
 * Oh, a lot of dogs are scared by vacuums.
 * - Ah! - Watch! - I’ll take it! - Sheriff is Setting up the cones putting ‘em on the track Whoever wins I’ll pat ‘em on the head - Shello, Tommy! - Oh, hi, sheriff! You’re welcome to do some test runs With the other boys shwee! You’ll never make it around - dead man’s curve.
 * - Dead man’s curve? They call it that ‘cause it’s a curve.
 * And if you go off, you’ll be dead, man.
 * I’m not worried! My car’s tip-top! Whee! Uh-oh! Oh, no! But be careful About dead man’s curve Whoa! Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa, oh! Ooh! Whew, glad I wore a helmet.
 * - Do another one.
 * - Oh, all right.
 * "Goodman, if you don’t make a sale, - you’re fired!" - Goodman! Oh, boss! That was perfect.
 * - Huh? - I’ve got something to do.
 * So I want you to sit in my office today.
 * And if anyone calls, just pretend you’re me.
 * And don’t screw it up or I’m fired? Hey, Mrs. Goodman! - What you doing? - Showing Stanley what it would be like if I didn’t have a job.
 * - Food fight! - Ooh! You girls are crazy.
 * - Jell-o fight! - I’m taking the vacuum to the movies! Bye! Egg fight! Chair fight! Look! Aah! - Aah! - Who are you? They call me "the kid" ‘cause back then, I was the coolest kid in old town.
 * There was one dame who had my heart Sally Wilton.
 * Oh, she had me all doll dizzy.
 * But someone else had his eyes on her - Donny "Skids" McGeelton.
 * - No! We decided we’d race for her heart.
 * But they always said I’d combed too hard.
 * And that night, they were right.
 * - No! - The kid! And since then, I I’ve been trying to get out of this seat belt.
 * Oh, the thought of Sally is what’s kept me alive.
 * Well, that and rats.
 * So how’d you get down here? I wrecked my car before the soap box derby race.
 * Help me get my Sally back, and I’ll help you build a new car.
 * But how will you get free? - What the I’m free! - I’m lookin’ for the guy - who’s been stealin’ my Wi-Fi.
 * - You lookin’ for me? Pipe down! - You suck! - I know! It really sucks! Get it? Hello? This is boss.
 * I’m calling with your daily report on Mr. Goodman.
 * He’s not at his desk.
 * Can I have a jelly bean now? Yes, but no more reports on Goodman, okay? Okay.
 * Okay.
 * Okay.
 * Ah.
 * Table fight! Wall fight! Ooh, ow.
 * These things fight! Things sure have changed.
 * Oh, no! Cover up your knees, you whore! There’s children out here.
 * But Sally’s house looks just the same.
 * Get off of the sidewalk! Aah! Wow.
 * Hey, what are you doing? Aah! Come in! Sally! Don’t tell What! - You’re not the pizza man.
 * - The thought of you is all that’s kept me alive for 70 years.
 * He had to eat rats and drink their pee! Let me do this one, kid.
 * I swore that if I survived, - I’d come back and ask you to ma - What? Hey! Where’s the freakin’ pizza, yo? - Hey, playa.
 * - Skids? The kid?! We thought you were dead.
 * The kid?! You lookin’ gross! - You two are married? - Nah, we just - friends with benefits, kid.
 * - Spank it, daddy.
 * Ew.
 * Wha?! Work it, twerk it, drop it, lock it.
 * You know I love it when you wobble-do-wobble that booty - on me, you little cluck-cluck.
 * - What is your mouth doing? I’m tic-tac-toein’ that ho, know what I mean? - ‘Sup? - What does "‘sup" mean? It means "what’s poppin’?" Like, "how you doin’?" - Well, not good.
 * - I wasn’t really asking, playboy.
 * Then why did you ask me? I think you done slid down a mountain full of razor blades, climbed a building butt naked, and tongue kissed a lizard - ‘cause you wack, son! - Yeah, you wack.
 * everything is over Oh, I’m not cool anymore.
 * and I’m feeling bad - I’m all washed up.
 * - Wait! That’s it! If we get you all washed up, we could go back and try again.
 * ever had Ah-ah. a wild sort of devil But dead on the level was my gal sal Sink fight! - Oh! Linda! - Oh.
 * I just wanted Stanley to see what it’s like if I don’t do my job.
 * - But I can’t fix this myself.
 * - Oh! I know how to fix it.
 * - Hey, baby! - Uh - Hey, babies.
 * Whoa, yeah! - Oh, God, no.
 * - Ooh, ooh, ooh.
 * - Please stop.
 * Now let’s get your Sally back so we can - build my soapbox car.
 * - Let’s go, daddy-o! - Watch out! - Oh.
 * Aah, whee! I’m back! The kid is back! Oh! - Aah! - Whoa! - Are we taking a nap now?
 * - Tommy? - What are you doing? - What’s Linda doing? - Uh, I don’t know.
 * - Please, stop.
 * We’ll do anything.
 * This is the boss.
 * Just checking in on you.
 * I love you.
 * - I love you, too.
 * - You never say "I love you."
 * - Who is this? - I You better find him before I do! Huh? Uh, Floyd? Uh, tell me where I’d be if I wasn’t in my office.
 * - Oh! - Boss! - Goodman! - You gotta You gotta get out of here.
 * I’m free for the first time in months! - I said no games! - No, no! - And who’s this?! - Hi.
 * I said stop playing that game! No! I wanna play the game! Aah! You looking for me? But he was gonna help me build a new soapbox car.
 * He’s just going to rest for a while.
 * Yeah, ‘cause he’s dead.
 * - Help me! - Huh? - Take me to the hospital.
 * - Get out of there! - Beverly? - Stanley? - Aah! - Whoa! Tommy! Aah! Help! I’m going too fast! Gotcha! Huh? - Hey! - Shand they’re off! Huh? Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Huh? Hi! Bye! Uh-oh.
 * I’ll never make it! Mr. Pickles? Whoa! Oh, whoa! Yay! Looks like this belongs to you.
 * And this belongs to me! I - love you.
 * - Thanks.
 * - Tommy! - Are you okay? I’m even better than okay! I’m good boy, Mr. Pickles.
 * I’m back! Aah! Please, stop.
 * - We did what you asked! - Hey! Get back here! - Let’s get out of here! - Ohh.
 * Oh, looks like you missed a spot.
 * - Oh, that’s it! - Uh-oh.
 * Mr. Pickles stole my vacuum.
 * Tell me we’re through where’s my face?