Collision Course

1 Previously on K. C. Undercover I didn't get to properly introduce myself before. I'm K. C. Cooper and I'm your cousin. Marisa, I am such an idiot. What if he doesn't like me anymore and doesn't call K. C., K. C. , would you just relax. Darien likes you. He isn't going anywhere. (Car tires screech) (Car crash) Quick! Call an ambulance. A car just came out of nowhere and hit Darien. (Grunts) Hey. What's up, Abby. Thank you so much for stopping by and checking on Darien, but good news, he's gonna be perfectly fine. Yeah, well, this time he is. What you talking about? His accident. It wasn't an accident. (Chuckles) I'm sorry, that doesn't make any sense. Okay, who would intentionally hurt Darien? I would. You missed. Down! What are you doing next Saturday night? What was I doing last Saturday night? - Nothing. - Yep, I'll be doing that again. No, you won't. You are going to a surprise party. For who? You. Okay, you do know how surprise parties are supposed to work? Yes, but considering your line of work, I thought it was best to tell you so you don't go all Jackie Chan on the guests when they yell "Surprise. " (Chuckles) Marisa, you know me, okay. I am not a party person. I'm a party pooper. K. C. , come on, you're about to be 17 and a year from now you're gonna be 18. And after that who knows? I'm gonna go with 19. Yes, I knew that. I meant, how many more birthdays are we gonna be able to celebrate together? Come on, please let me do this for you. Okay, fine. Yay! And you'll wear a pretty pretty party dress? (Brakes screech) Okay, fine, forget the dress! Forget the dress! No no no, I just saw my cousin Abby, right over there in that SUV! Your cousin Abby, the cousin that you eliminated in the giant explosion on the Potomac? I've heard of walkin' dead, but not drivin' dead. No, that was definitely Abby. But she's gone. I know, K. C., she's gone. No, I mean she ran the yellow light. Yep, ran the big yellow light in the sky. She's alive! And that's not an expression! Oh, when danger comes for you You know I'll stand beside you 'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool I'll always find a way A way out of the fire But don't tell nobody, tell nobody I'm not perfect So many things I wanna tell you But I I keep it undercover Living my life on red alert Doing my thing, I'll make it work Know I'm the realest, baby I'm fearless But I always got your back Nobody can do it like I can I gotta find out who I am Ain't got to worry about me It's all part of the plan I keep it undercover I keep it undercover - So, what's for dinner? - What do you care? The only thing you consume is electricity. (Chuckles) Not anymore. We just came back from The Organization. They were giving away free upgrades and free sweat socks. Guess who got the upgrade, and guess who got the sweat socks? Judy, eating will be great for your undercover assignments. And you're going to love it. Eating is really cool. You do it all the time. How cool can it be? All right, let's break your new digestive system in. Let's start with something easy. Ooh, how about applesauce? Fine. Let's get this over with. Open up your yum-yum hole. Here comes the airplane. (Mimics airplane) That's it? That's eating? That's what you guys spend 90 percent of your day talking about? - What's that? - That's just chocolate. (Heavenly music plays) Yeah, I'm going to need some more of that. Hey, what are you doing? I just found a bug. What? Someone planted a bug? No, I found an actual bug. And you owe me some new Begonias, missy. What's with you? Okay, um, this is gonna sound a bit unbelievable, but when I was driving down Rhode Island Avenue you are never gonna guess who I saw. Well, I know it wasn't your father because I asked him to go to the market an hour ago and his butt is still sitting on the couch watching the game! No, Mom, I saw my cousin Abby. Floating on the Potomac? No, driving in the SUV next to me, not using her blinker. There is no end to her evil! I'm sorry, K. C., - you saw your cousin Abby? - Yes. She was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, but I'm positive it was her. I totally recognized her. Okay, K. C., which is more likely, honey, huh? That you saw someone who looked like your cousin, or that Abby came back from the Great Beyond for a little carpool karaoke? Mom, I'm serious. I saw her! Honey, now, eliminating someone is the worst part of this job. But honey, sometimes, we don't have a choice. And I really think this is your guilt playing tricks on you. No, no, Mom, I am sure that I saw her. (Sighs) Well, I'm pretty sure it was her. No, I'm definitely probably sure it was her I think. So I keep having this reoccurring dream, right? Basically, I have a test in my next class, but I've never been to that class. And worse, I don't even know where the class is. But when I do find the class: full of centaurs. I can't take the test, because it's too loud because everyone's counting with their hooves. But it's just a dream. That's normal, right? Yeah, sure. No. Are we ever going to get around to talking about the fact that you thought you saw your deceased cousin? Yeah, that's been bothering me a little bit too. K. C. , you know it's just a manifestation of the emotions you're feeling, emotions that you've buried deep inside because you never really dealt with what happened. Oh, trust me, I have dealt with it every single day. Abby and Erica are gone because of me, because of what I did. And I can handle that. I'm fine. I know everyone keeps saying that I'm losing it, but I am holding it together, I'm perfectly fine! Okay, I could use a little bit of help. Alright, here's what I want you to do. If you ever think you see Abby again - Eliminate her? - No. Let me finish. I want you to steady yourself, squeeze this stress ball, and repeat this mantra: "It's not really happening. It's not really happening. " - Can you do that? - Mm-hmm. And in the meantime, go do something that's not spy work, something that actual teenagers would do. Go on a date. Go have fun. Go shopping at the mall. Did my friend Marisa put you up to this? It is either this or you're going on a break from The Organization. Okay, fine. I'll try to do more teenager stuff. But what do you suggest I do about that centaur thing? Well, if worst comes to worst, you can always blow them up on the Potomac. Too soon. I realize that now. - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. You know what? You're right. I was just buggin'. There's no way that I could've seen Abby. Abby! Get in here. We have an important mission. I hope it's to open some windows in here. Do you always have to douse yourself in toilet water? It's "toilette water". And if I open a window, it'll be to throw you out of it. We're looking for David Simmons. He designed the security system for the U. S. Treasury vaults. It is our job to locate, abduct, and threaten him until he tells us how to get inside those vaults. And then we go on the biggest shopping spree of all time. Lord knows you could use it. Seriously, Mother, are those shoulder pads? (Painful grunt) Did that feel padded to you, Miss Thing? Your father's going to use that stolen money to bring down The Organization. (Muffled voice) Sounds good to me. What are you eating? I went and got a burger and some fries. From Gettysburger?! You know the Coopers live close to there! You could've been spotted. Actually She saw you?! See? This is why I don't tell you anything. And relax. I was wearing sunglasses and a hat. What about your face? Were you wearing your face? K. C. cannot get in the way of this mission. If she does, I have to eliminate her. Sweet! Make sure I get an invite to that party. So did you get out the invitations to my party? Oh, you mean the party that I planned every detail of, invited everyone we know, baked a cake for, and then you suddenly changed your mind because you thought you saw your cousin and made me cancel everything, that surprise party? Yep, that's the one. Um So I was thinking literary theme. Everyone comes dressed as their favorite 19th century fictional character. How are we even friends? Marisa, please. Okay, come on, I need this party. I'm supposed to start doing regular teenage stuff. Why can't you just break your curfew and talk back to your parents like everyone else? Please? Okay, fine, fine. I'll just have to re-book the DJ, re-order the food, re-invite the guests read a book find a costume about that book (Continues talking) Okay. It's not really happening. It's not really happening. And then the only thing left to do is go shopping for your pretty, pretty party dress. It's not really happening. It's not really happening. Oh, you're still here. I guess it doesn't work on everyone. (Snickering) Donut time! Oh! My donuts are gone. Hey, Judy? Did you see my donuts? I dough-not know what you're talking about. I was saving those for my hump snack. What's a hump snack? The snack after the first snack, to get me over the hump to dinner. Hump snack. Isn't that called lunch? Not called You know what? Ever since you got that eating upgrade, you've been out of control. - That's not true. - It is so. You ate everything in the fridge, including the baking soda! Yeah, it wasn't as good as the regular soda. (Groans) You have literally eaten everything in this entire house! What am I gonna do for my late night hump snack? I'm never gonna make it to breakfast! Oh, good. I'm glad you're here. We have a mission. I hope it's to go grocery shopping. Judy's new update is eating us out of house and home. Will you stop thinking about your stomach and focus on the mission. Okay, now we have to find David Simmons. He developed the security system for the Treasury. After that, he retired and went off grid. If he's retired, why does anyone care? Judy, you had a donut left? Why didn't you tell me? You didn't ask. - If you don't - Stop it, you two! Now we have intel saying that the Other Side is also looking for Simmons. Our mission is to locate him, extract him, and protect him. Let's get to work. Do you have any donuts left, Judy? No, I do not. What is that?! It's a donut hole. So when's my surprise party? Not telling. By the way, I ran out of money. Here's your portion of the party bill. Surprise! So you're throwing me a surprise party but I have to pay for it. Why am I not surprised? Okay, we should probably work on your surprise face. So you walk in at the appointed time, see everyone you know dressed as "book people". And go. (Thinking) It's not really happening. It's not really happening. (Sighs) Okay, that was a little too surprised. More like freaked out. Uh, are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Oh, I forgot to tell you. I got an A on my math test! Wait, no way. Now that is a surprise face. By the way, I didn't really get an A. I'm not really that surprised. So I've been scouring the Internet for any trace of David Simmons. What? I eat now. Deal with it. (Belches loudly) Technically, that's not eating. That's just disgusting. Anyway Satellite tracking revealed Simmons spends a lot of time in Bung Hill, West Virginia at a biker hangout. But according to his credit cards, he never buys anything. Sounds like your father at the jewelry store. And the shoe store and the phone store. Who buys one gig of data for the entire family? At first I thought he was just paying in cash. Which is a great way to get a discount for someone who really wants a convertible for their birthday next week. K. C. , so which is it, I'm cheap, or I'm buying you a car? Hey, there's only one way to prove the haters wrong. But I found records that show Simmons owns the biker hangout. Okay, nice work, Ernie. (Faint gurgling) What's that noise? I don't know, but it's coming from you and it does not sound good. It's my new digestive system. It's malfunctioning! No, actually, I think it is functioning. Or at least it's about to. What's happening?! Okay, let's get moving. Well, looks like Judy's already one step ahead of us. K. C. , you have to come to my house right now. Uh, Marisa, now's not really a good time. Uh, well, too bad. Everyone's at my house for your party, waiting to surprise you. In their book costumes. Come on, let's go. Marisa, I really, I just can't get away right now. Why not? Because I have family obligations. Family obligations. Oh, great. That's just great. I'm so glad that after you asked me to cancel your first surprise party, you wanted me to re-throw you a surprise party, only to cancel it again! I'll just make the party another day when you're not too busy. Or will I? Who knows? It'll be a surprise! Well, she took that well. Alright, pack your gear. We're heading to Bung Hill. We're headed to Bung Hill. And if anybody gets in our way They're going to be sorry they got in our way. You're a little, evil, no good, psycho girl. I'm so proud of you. Whoa! (Whistling) You see that? Hidey-ho, there, Bung Hillian! My family and I are from out of town We live in Toledo, Ohio and we're on our way to Williamsburg, Virginia. You know, where they churn butter the old-fashioned way. With a churner! All right, that's enough out of you, Sparky. (Forced chuckle) Anyway, as I was saying, we're lost. I can't find Route 60. Now I've misplaced a lot of things in my day, by golly, but never a highway! Think maybe you can help me out? I've got my map here. It's in my fanny pack. You ever seen? Hey! I've been on my hog for the past few hours. So what does it take to get a little sarsaparilla around here? Travel back in time? Well, then I'll take a lemonade. Make it a double. In the meantime, where's the little biker's room? (Computer noises) (Sighs) It's not really happening. It's not really happening. It's not really Abby. Oh, who am I kidding? That is definitely Abby. K. C. , you'll blow your cover. What are you doing? Mom, I just saw Abby. I'm not crazy and I'm not letting her get away! (Sighs) (Revs engine) (Groans) (Clears throat) Hey, man, nice skins, but I'm gonna need to borrow your beast. Please? Alright. (Grunting) Whoo. Okay. Hey, bro. Nice skins, but I'm gonna need to borrow your beast. (Revs engine) Hey, cuz. (Groans) I knew it was you all along! You made me think that I lost it. You never had it. You'll never catch me, because I'm smarter and better than you. Wow, for someone with such a big head, I'm surprised you found a helmet big enough to fit it! (Groans) (Grunts) Oh, goodie. You're alive. (Groans) Nice breath. No wonder you don't have a boyfriend. I don't have a boyfriend because you tried to kill him! I hate you! I hate you! I (Muffled shouting) Oh, look at that. These stress balls really are a great way to deal with your problems. They got our girl. They got our girl. Don't worry. We'll get her back. Yeah, they're not getting away with this. At least not alive. Woman: Rob, your name's on TV.