El Problema Grande de D.J.

[In the teaser, Stephanie and D.J. are doing their homework in the living room, and using a plate of chocolate chip cookies as brain food. However, there's just one cookie left on the plate, and Stephanie is anxious to grab it, but D.J. puts her hand over her sister's to stop her.] D.J.: That's mine. You already had two. Stephanie: One of mine was broken. It didn't count. [Unbeknownst to them, Michelle comes in from the kitchen.] D.J.: Listen, Stephanie Judith. Stephanie: I'm listening, Donna Jo Margaret. Michelle: Stop it. Be nice. D.J.: [sighs] OK, you can have the cookie. Stephanie: No, it's your cookie. Michelle: My cookie. [She grabs the cookie and runs off.] D.J.: You know who she reminds you of? You. [They can only look at each other, as we cut to Michelle, who's eating the last cookie.]

Stephanie: Break out the root beer, boys — my report card is awesome!

Danny: [along with Jesse and Joey] All right!

Stephanie: [as she gives her report card to Danny] Three As, a B and a B-minus.

Jesse: I wish I got grades like that. I stayed after school so often, people thought I was the janitor.

Danny: Steph, these are terrific grades. But your teacher wrote here: "Stephanie is a wonderful student but she needs to control her talking in class." Stephanie: Dad, it's not my fault. Kids are always asking me for help. And who can blame them? Check out these grades. Joey: If you're always talking during class, you might miss something important. Jesse: Yeah, like recess. Or reading and writing and fundamental things. Danny: Stef, you have to stop being such a little chatterbox. Stephanie: So. My own family thinks I'm a chatterbox? How rude. Danny: Stef-- Stephanie: No, no, it's fine. From now on, this little chatterbox is all locked up.