Morlock the Unstoppable

[ Theme Song ]

Zak: To whoever finds this. You have to check this out, you are totally not gonna believe what I just found! (He points to a large X-shaped hole on a hill) That's an actual spot in the shape of an actual "X"! X marks the spot. X is the spot! Mind blown. Cece: (from the Chaos, along with the others) Do all humans record their every move like Zak? Clovis: Does a bear do its business in the woods? You know. In an office, a desk, with a paper and pencil. Caramba: Earth broadcasts are very popular on my planet. They’re all from 1965, but they’re groovy, baby! Crogar: Crogar doesn't get it. Big hole. Lots of big holes on lots of islands. (Clovis chuckles) So what? Zak: (sighs) And this is why I'm captain. Calabrass, what do we do when X marks the spot? Calabrass: We plunder it! I sense ancient riches hidden in the darkness. Me jeweled teeth are jumping! Cece: I suggest patience. We must formulate a sensible strategy to move forward… Zak and Calabrass: Charge! (Zak charges to the X-shaped hole and slides down to the cave) Caramba: Um, maybe he didn't here "strategy" and just heard "forward"? (Crogar and Cece both sigh)

Calabrass: Treasure! The teeth never lies! Zak: (to the skeletons) Thanks for doing the heavy lifting, guys. That's very considerate for an army of the undead! [ Transformation Sequence ] ''Zak: Calabrass, give me the Eye of Sino! (Zak and Calabrass gain ice abilities)'' (Zak charges forward, freezing all the skeletons and breaking them into pieces) Zak: Ha! (He walks to the treasure chest as he detransforms) Like taking treasure from a bunch of boneheads. Plan sh’man! When you’re Captain you have to think fast, act fast, and... Calabrass: (He sees Golden Bones behind Zak) Move! Zak: Eye of Sino! (transforms again) Ice Shield! (Calabrass forms into an ice shield to prevent Golden Bones from striking Zak) Golden Bones: You're in over your head, whelp! This is Skullivar's chest! I'll keel haul you and hang your hide from my mast! (He pushes Zak, knocking him away. But Zak picks up Calabrass and freezes Golden Bones's hook) Zak: Stay frosty. And P.S. what’s a “keel haul”? Golden Bones: Get him! (The skeleton soldiers re-assemble themselves and are about to attack Zak) Zak: Oh, yeah. That happens here. (While fighting off the soldiers, Golden Bones breaks the ice and gets his hook free. Golden Bones picks up the chest and is about to head to the exit) Get your hands off my pirate booty! Wait, that's sounds wrong. Golden Bones: My master claims this treasure as his own, and so it shall be! You will tire eventually, my army will not! Caramba: You're not the only one with an army. (He, Cece, and Crogar all arrive and are ready to fight) Cece: (stands back-to-back with Zak) Tell me there was more to your plan than running in like a bull-fish. Zak: No, that's pretty much it. Thanks! Cece: Huh, I think we need to spend a little time defining the word "plan". Zak: (He notices Golden Bones is leaving) You bet, right after I open that treasure live on-cam! (He rushes towards Golden Bones and lands in front of him, getting ready to battle him and his skeleton soldiers) Caramba: (shakes in realization) Zak, I'm getting some weirdo readings from that chest. Weirdo is bad. Calabrass: Aye, the Space-Dog makes some sense. Somethin' about that booty doesn't feel right. Zak: You were the one with the jangly teeth! If there's treasure let's snag it! Golden Bones: (He laughs as he and Zak fight again) Tenacious brat! You're in over your head, as usual! Yield! Zak: Eye of Sino! (both he and Calabrass transform again) Frozen Path! (He casts a large path of ice under Golden Bones, slipping him and hits the skeletons that're behind him) Strike! (While that happens, Caramba and Cece are taking down the skeletons) Caramba: (to Cece) You think he knows what he's doing? Cece: I'm not sure, but he does do it with style. Of a sort. Crogar: (from underneath them) Viking style! Battle first, think later! (Meanwhile, Zak tries to open the chest with Calabrass's blade) Calabrass: Zak, I have t'point out that y'r "plans" seem a little off. Are ye that hungry for gold? Why is that treasure so important to ye? Zak: It’s not about treasure! Look, I’m still new to the whole “captaining” thing. Gotta show 'em that I’m the man. Now let’s open this puppy! (More skeleton soldiers are coming) Caramba: Captain! Speaking from a purely mathematical standpoint, we’re getting our posterior regions handed to us! (Zak sees his teammates are all surrounded by the skeletons) Skeleton soldier: For Skullivar! Cece: Zak! We need you now! Zak: (charges toward his crew) Get your bony fingers off of my friends! Sino! Total blast! (He transform again and blasts a huge freezing attack at the skeletons) Golden Bones: (laughs) The chest is ours! (The remaining skeletons grab the chest and leave) To me, you scurvy dogs! (He follows his army, leaving the 7C's alone) Zak: You guys all right? Sorry, I was stuck with… huh? (He turns around) The chest! (He walks toward a banner that was dropped from the chest) Caramba: Sure, they got the chest, but we’re hunky-dory and that’s what matters, right? Zak: (upset) I guess. Crogar: No one wins been every fight, Zak. Cece: We’ll be ready for them next time, Captain. Have no fear. (She leaves with Crogar and Caramba) Zak: (to Calabrass) We lose like that and guess who they don’t want as Captain any more. I gotta be stronger, Cal. Whatever it take to...

Golden Bones: "Bring me that chest". Your exact words, and your humble servant delivers. Skullivar: So rare. Golden Bones: What’s that? Th-the treasure, my Lord? Skullivar: No. The times that you actually do something right. (He opens the chest to reveal a helmet) Golden Bones: While I'd like to accept the..."compliment", I think we’ve been hornswaggled. This is just junk. Skullivar: (floats toward his windows) How little you understand, poor Bones! Observe. (A headless armor rises up from the trapdoor.) This acquisition will complete my collection! (The helmet hovers toward the armor and assembles itself) After all these years, "Morlock the Unstoppable". Finally, a worthy emissary! Golden Bones: The position of "emissary" is already held, Skullivar, and quite capably... Skullivar: I’ll be the judge of that. (He zaps electricity and powers up the Morlock armor)

Cece: Zak, I know you don’t like to lose. Zak: Correction, I hate to lose. Worse than brussels sprouts. Worse than stink foot. Cece: So do I, but on occasion it happens. Zak: And it’s my fault, right? Cece: (The group all stops walking) Of course not! There were more of them. They were stronger. They were faster. Zak: But if I was a better leader, we’d be plundering booty instead looking for Sassafras’s stupid moving shack. Crogar: (chuckles) Booty. (The group continues to walk) Calabrass: A-ha! Next left! Down this alleyway. I’m picking up on her weird Voodoo!

Crogar: She need some nice curtains. Place creepy. Always creepy. (They all stop to see Sassafras sitting in front of her desk) Zak: Yeah, but she’s always right. Sassafras: It’s called a doorbell. You should try. (Zak drops some coins on her desk) Ooh! Zak: You like money, I like not losing. Let’s talk. Today we got kicked in all Seven Seas over this. (He picks up the banner) And I want to know what is this... (Sassafras casts a spell that burns the banner) Hey! Sassafras: I cannot have such dark enchantments within my walls. Besides, it clashes with everything. Zak: Why did you fry that flag? Sassafras: It bears the mark of Morlock! Caramba: Oh, centraflux. When it was just a chest I was like “okay, it was just a dumb treasure chest”! But now it has a scary name, which means it’s bad. Think about it. No one names harmless flowers or puppies or apple pie "Morlock"! Sassafras: Morlock the Unstoppable. (She casts another spell to reveal a vision of the Morlock armor) A haunted suit of indestructible armor, controlled by its remote host. Zak: That chest wasn’t big enough for armor. Calabrass: The armor was scattered a century ago! Skullivar has sought control of the Morlock ever since! If that chest contained the last piece he was seeking, we are surely doomed. Zak: And it’s my fault. I failed to stop Bones. Cece: Zak, this isn’t anyone’s "fault". Every plan falls apart if the center doesn’t hold. You’re our center. Right! Right! Zak: I’m trying. Caramba: (detects something from inside his exoskeleton) Um, guys? Remember that weirdo energy from the chest? Well, it’s making me "ping".

Zak: Is it another piece of the armor? Caramba: Not thinking it’s a little "piece". (He shows a signal sensor from the face of exoskeleton) Um, this signal is bigger and zooming right this way. I mean, really, really close! Crogar: How close is "really, really close"? (The Morlock armor suddenly arrives behind them, making a huge stomp at the alleyways) Huh? Zak: And that must be Morlock. Caramba: A-anyone knows how to stop the unstoppable? Cece: Huh? Skullivar: (from his lair) You cannot escape Morlock, boy! It is unstoppable. It never tires, it never fails! (He makes Morlock do another stomp that knocks down the 7C's) Zak: I’ll lead him away! Skullivar may have his armor but what he really wants is Calabrass! Caramba: Slow down, buckaroo! Let’s put our heads together and… Zak: Hey, Mor-dork! (He slides underneath Morlock and runs off) Caramba: And watch you run down the street. Cece: Hurry! (She, Caramba, and Crogar follows Morlock) (Zak gives chase, but behind him, Morlock punches through a building and arrives in front of him) Zak: Whoa! Skullivar: Your sword will be mine and you will fall beneath it! (The Morlock armor tries to punch Zak, but he escapes and continues to run. The armor then destroys everything in its path while chasing him.) Zak: (He trips on a long pole and ends up dropping Calabrass) Whoa! Calabrass, no! Skullivar: (laughs) Too easy! Crogar: (arrives just in time and strikes the armor with his sword) Come on alien, let’s break things. (Crogar tosses Caramba at Morlock. But the armor punches Caramba, sending him backwards to Crogar, and knocking them both down. Cece arrives and fires her gun, freezing Morlock with electricity.) Cece: (She picks up Calabrass and tosses him to Zak) They call Morlock "unstoppable” for a reason. The only way we’ll take this monstrosity is together. Zak: You’re absolutely right. We’ll beat him together right after I beat him first! (to Calabrass) There you are! Gimme the Eye of… Calabrass: Aye, wait, boy! The Morlock processes enchantment I cannot predict or counter! Through it pains me to say it, this is not a beast I can defeat alone. Nor can you. (He starts to control Zak’s arm) Zak: Seriously? This isn’t one of Calabrass’s "life lessons", is it? So what do we do? Calabrass: Running away is nothing to be ashamed of under certain circumstances. (He makes Zak go away from Morlock) Zak: Hey! Calabrass! Get back here! Cece: Zak! We need… (grunts) Humans! Zak: (tries to hang onto Calabrass while going down the island stairs to the dock) Whoa! Caramba: Is this some new attack where you run around the whole planet and hit your enemy from behind? Zak: It’s not me! (to Calabrass) What is your problem, Cal?! Calabrass: (sighs) You have no idea what you're dealing with! (He continues to make Zak try to hang onto him) Caramba: Yeah, I do. The Morlock armor is a repository vessel for the consciousness of its controller. In this case, Skullivar has commandeered the… Zak: No time for sci-fi jibber jabber! I need to take this thing out or… (He suddenly hears Morlock behind him, knocking both Cece and Crogar down the stairs) …or that'll keep happening! You guys chose a leader, I’m leading! I don’t care what you’re wearing, Skullivar! I’m gonna open you like a can of… (Calabrass dodges away the armor) Hey! (Calabrass continues to control his arm, making Zak to hang onto him) Hey! (Morlock kicks Zak down the stairs) Whoa! Calabrass! You missed on purpose! Calabrass: Aye, bet yer scurvy breath, I did! I don’t want t'be corrupted by evil enchantments! I’m tryin' to tell ye that… (Zak and Calabrass both see Morlock roll the barrels toward them) Zak: C'mon! Dezer Stone Wall! (he and Calabrass both gain rock abilities, creating a huge wall to protect themselves from the barrel) I’m telling you that we go big or go home. That’s what a captain does. (He charges toward Morlock) Skullivar: (from his lair) Yes, fool. Come to me. (Zak tries to fight off Morlock, but Calabrass doesn’t budge) Zak: Calabrass! I need you now or we’re street pizza! Calabrass: Fine! Ye were warned! Zak: Stone Crusher! (He hits the hammer to the ground in front of Morlock and unleashes a giant attack) Yes! (He sees Morlock is still in place) Huh? Skullivar: (laughs) Is that your best? Calabrass: Perhaps now, ye've learned the definition of “unstoppable”. Cece: Zak, we have to try a different tact! Crogar: Fishy's right! We stand together. Skullivar: (from his lair) Excellent. Right where I want you. (He makes Morlock hover itself up and separates its hands from its torso) Cece: Huh? (The armor’s hands capture her along with Caramba and Crogar) Zak: No! Cece! Crogar! Caramba! I…I’m sorry. Skullivar: (laughs) You don’t know the meaning of the word, yet! (The Morlock's head separates itself from the body and hits Zak so hard that he gets knocked out)

Zak: (regains his consciousness) Who’s sitting on my brain? (He sees Golden Bones is behind the steering wheel of the ship) Huh?! (He sees his teammates are still knocked out) Cece! Caramba! Crogar! (He sighs, before taking out his camera) This is maybe my last recording. I messed up big time. I don’t even know how, really. All I want was to be a good Captain. But the truth is I have no clue what I’m doing half the time. I’m no big adventurer. I’m just a surf rat who got lucky. But I don’t want anyone to know that and… Cece: (regains her consciousness) You think we didn’t know that? Zak: (turns around) Hey! You’re supposed to be out cold! Cece: Is that why you’ve been running half-cocked all day? To impress us? Zak: To lead you. I mean if I have to ask for help all the time, what sort of Captain am I? Cece: Zak, being a great Captain isn’t about being the smartest or the strongest or the fastest. It’s about knowing you’re a part of, well, a family, and knowing how to bring out the best in everyone. From the first time I met you, I just knew, "He’s one of the good ones. I would follow him anywhere." Zak: Really? Even when I screw up royally? Cece: Really. So any ideas, Captain? (During the conversation, Crogar and Caramba both regain their consciousness. Immediately after that, they all hear Morlock hitting Calabrass at the stairway that lead to the Demoniac steering wheel) Skullivar: I want the Seven Eyes! Spit them out! Calabrass: You got yer enchantments, Skullivar! I gots mine! Skullivar: Not for long, sword. Once I get you to the Netherwhere, I’ll have all the time I need to pilfer your secrets! (Outside of the Demoniac, the ship is about to enter the vortox) Zak: If we enter the Netherwhere, can Calabrass be broken? Cece: (sighs) Zak: (sighs in return) Okay, new plan. A plan that needs all of us. Skullivar: You, whelps. Command the sword to spill out the gems. Zak: Um, yeah, that’s not gonna happen. Like ever. Like even if you put piranhas in my board shorts and... (Crogar’s cage suddenly lowers down) Huh? Crogar! Skullivar: Do you value your crew, "Captain"? These poor fools followed you on your merry adventures, by is their faith deserved?

Zak: Don’t! He can’t swim! Crogar: Don’t worry about Crogar drowning! The sharks'll eat me way before that! Zak: Hold it! (grunts) You win. I-I’ll do what you want. I'm in way over my head. I don’t wanna play Captain anymore. The sword is yours, if you just promise to let me go. Cece: What? What did you say?! Caramba: No, Zak! You can’t! Skullivar: You would abandon your crew? Sell them out to save your own skin? Zak: It’s not like they like me anyway. Cece: Huh? Zak: I was only in charge because I had Calabrass. I was the strongest and now I’m not. Skullivar: (laughs, before putting Crogar down) Stripped of all your power and see yourself as you truly are! Tell me how to loosen the stones! Zak: The truth? Just like everything else in this crazy place, I don’t have a clue. Skullivar: Then you are no use to anyone! (picks up Zak) Except, perhaps the sharks! (The armor tosses him to the water) (Zak whistles and the plank from the Chaos rises from the water, saving him from being eaten by the sharks) Zak: Good plank! Good plank! Skullivar: Huh, I've wanted to do that for a long time! Now, sword, you and I have some unfinished business. Calabrass: Do your best skull king. You're not worthy to wield me. Skullivar: I will enjoy attempting to convince you otherwise. Zak: (riding on the plank) Anyone ever tell you that your bad guy banter is totally stale? Don’t you have like, a bad guy speech coach or something? (He surfs around Morlock and get Calabrass out of its hand. He then throws him out of reach.) Calabrass: Ouch! My coccyx! Skullivar: Impossible! Zak: Before you go taking over the Triangle you should learn how to count. There are seven of us! Clovis! Chaos! You're up! (The Chaos rises from the water and is ready to fire) Let's put this Lead-Head to bed! Clovis: (from the bow of the Chaos) I give you guys shore leave for one afternoon and look what happens! (The Chaos fires a blast at the Morlock armor, sending it backwards and it hits Golden Bones along the way) Skeleton soldiers: Ow! (Zak uses one of the skeleton's swords to cut the ropes that tied Cece's, Caramba's, and Crogar's hands) Cece: A very convincing execution of "phase one" of our plan, Captain. Zak: Thanks. Now if I can get Calabrass back, phase two might actually work. Cece: If we do it together. Zak: Someone slightly smarter than me once said, "The whole thing falls apart if the center doesn't hold". Together! (The 7C's and Skullivar's army are ready for battle) Crogar: For Odin! For Asgard! For the 7C's! (He charges toward Golden Bones) Golden Bones: Oh, really? (Crogar knocks him and some of the skeletons out. Meanwhile, Clovis swings his ball-and-chain at the skeleton captain) Clovis: Huh? Hah! Zak: Hey! Clovis! How good are you with machinery? Clovis: Awful! I break pretty much everything I touch. Zak: Perfect! I have a mission for you! Skullivar: (controls Morlock again) You only delay the inevitable! I wield the Morlock! I have the Sword of Seven Eyes! It's over! Zak: (riding the plank again) We can't let him get Calabrass into that portal! Hit him from all sides! (Zak and his crew all surround the armor and are ready to attack it) Skullivar: Have you learn nothing?! (The Morlock armor hovers up and starts separating its limbs from its torso to assault the crew. Meanwhile, Zak is about to rescue Calabrass, but the Morlock's right hand knocks him away and grabs the sword.) Zak: Whoa! (While Zak is being chased by the armor's right hand, the rest of his crew hold onto the seperate body parts) Stick together or fall apart! (He sees Crogar holding onto one of the armor's legs) Perfect! Keep it up, guys! Almost there! Skullivar: We're almost there. The Netherwhere! It is over, boy! Zak: (flies back toward the Morlock torso) You wanna know how Calabrass works, Skullivar? The same way we all do. As part of a team! (He leaps out of the plank and held onto the armor’s right hand’s thumb) Calabrass: Are you mad? Zak: No, just a little crazy! Calabrass: It's the same thing! Zak: Calabrass, give me the Eye of Blazz! (Both he and Calabrass gain fire abilities. He then fires a burst of magma at the Morlock armor) Skullivar: (from his lair) Arrgg! Something's wrong. Bones, get them into the portal, now! Zak: Caramba! Are we in position? Caramba: Now or never, Zak! Zak: (He makes the armor's right hand fly toward Crogar) You're up, big guy! Let's finish it. Together! (Crogar hits the armor's right hand really hard that causes Zak to leaps up, free Calabrass, and lands back to safety) Everyone, now! (He fires magma at the armor, causing the torso to be push back and sinks into the sea) Cece: (levitates the armor's left hand) Go! (She tosses it toward Zak and he fires magma at it right before it’s about to fall and sinks into the sea as well) Caramba: Seperated from the torso, the Morlock limbs are still indestructible, but vulnerable to entrapment in magma! Which, upon hitting the water cools into a solid mass of rock! Go science! (Zak and his teammates all did a team fist-bump after the last Morlock body part sinks down into the sea) Cece: Together we stand… Zak: …divided he falls! Calabrass: Yeah! Zak: We did it! Caramba: Alright! Golden Bones: This is far from over! (He and his skeleton army all surround them) Caramba: Oh, we forgot to plan for this part. Zak: (chuckles) Don’t worry, Caramba. Bones is no better at counting than Skully. Right, Clovis? (Inside the Demoniac, Clovis is behind the ship’s steering wheel) Clovis: Yummy! I love the taste of a collision course! Woohoo! (He spins the steering wheel around before he breaks a circuit wire. He chuckles, before he teleports away) (Outside, the alarm is ringing, alerting everyone that the ship is malfunctioning. The Chaos arrives with Clovis on deck, waving towards his teammates. Zak, Cece, Caramba, and Crogar all run to their ship and escape from the Demoniac) Golden Bones: You’ll pay for this! (He sees that the Demoniac is entering the vortox to the Netherwhere) No!

Calabrass: Not bad, Zak. Played like a true Captain. Maybe ye’ll earn yer stripes yet! Zak: It’s basic strategy: nothing can hold together if the center falls. A smart mergirl taught me that. Cece: I prefer “First Mate”. (clears her throat) Chaos? Zak: (The platform that Zak’s standing on launches up, causing him to be flung into the sea) Whoa! (His teammates all laugh) I totally did that on purpose. Calabrass: (Spits out water at Zak) So did I, ye landlubber. Clovis: Bathroom break! (He’s about to leap down from the Chaos) Woohoo!