The Recombination Hypothesis


 * Leonard: Penny, do you have plans for dinner tonight?
 * Penny: You guys going somewhere?
 * Leonard: No, I mean, just you and me.
 * Penny: Like a date?
 * Leonard: Not like a date, a date.
 * Amy and Bernadette: Woooooooooo!!!


 * Penny: I'm not gonna make a big deal out of this. It's just dinner!
 * Amy: With a dead man. Roar!


 * Sheldon: The reason you're fixated on a good-natured simpleton like Penny: She's the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment--your mother.


 * Leonard: So what do you think? Are we gonna get back together?
 * Penny: Woah!


 * Howard: Ooh, 8:30. You and Penny decide to go out of town and paint the town beige?
 * Leonard: You're 30 years old and you live with your mother!
 * Raj: Guess it didn't go well.
 * Sheldon: Ah, we don't know that! All we know is that Leonard is home.
 * Leonard: (from his room) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
 * Howard: How about now?
 * Sheldon: Again, not enough evidence. For all we know he's being murdered.


 * Sheldon: (excited about his life-sized cutout of Spock) Oh goody, oh goody, oh goody!


 * Penny: Do not over think this! (puts her arms around Leonard and kisses him)


 * Leonard: So, uh, do they have a name for a first date with someone you used to go out with?
 * Penny: Oh, that's a good question. How about awkward?
 * Leonard: That sounds right. (pauses) Hey, how about if we pretend we're actually on a first date? See how that goes.
 * Penny: Okay.
 * Leonard: So, Polly, tell me about yourself.
 * Penny: It's Penny.
 * Leonard: Oh sorry, yeah, awkward...
 * Penny: (laughs) Okay let's see, I'm from Nebraska, and ever since I was little girl I dreamed of moving to LA and becoming a movie star. Anyway, after four years of acting lessons and waiting tables, I've done a hemorrhoid commercial and a production of Anne Frank above the bowling alley. So, you know, dreams do come true! Your turn!
 * Leonard: Ah, let's see, I am an experimental physicist at Caltech. Most of my research is with high-powered lasers and, oh, I've just gotten a big government grant to see if they can be used to knock out incoming ballistic missiles.
 * Penny: Wow! Can they?
 * Leonard: Oh, God no! (Penny laughs) But the money's pretty good, and I used the equipment to make my own bat signal.
 * Penny: (laughs) Bat signal? What are you, some kind of nerd?
 * Leonard: Not some kind of nerd, I am the king of nerds!
 * Penny: (laughs) What does that mean?
 * Leonard: Uh, it means, if anyone displeases me, I don't help them set up their printer.
 * Penny: (laughs) You are so funny!
 * Leonard: Good! Remember that when I take my shirt off.


 * Sheldon: Do you ever wonder how humans would be different if they evolved from lizards instead of mammals?
 * Leonard: Okay, let's talk about that.
 * Sheldon: As you know, lizards, cold-blooded animals, lack the ability to sense temperature. But they do move more sluggishly when it's cold. So, lizard-weatherman would say thing like, Bring a sweater. It's slow outside. I love my mind.
 * Leonard: We all do.


 * Sheldon: Oh no! They sent the wrong Spock. Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto.


 * Amy: You just can't handle her raw sexuality, can you?


 * Bernadette: Why do you think he asked you out again?
 * Penny: I don't know!
 * Amy: Maybe he's dying! That would be so romantic.


 * Sheldon: I want to build a road, but I need wood. Do either of you fellas have wood?
 * (Raj and Howard struggle to contain their laughter)
 * Sheldon: I don't understand the laughter. The object of Settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements. To do so requires wood. Now, I have sheep but I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?
 * (Raj and Howard burst out laughing)


 * Leonard: I didn't defile your sister. We were in a relationship.
 * Raj: I heard you call her Brown Sugar. That's defilement in my book.


 * Raj: If they ever make a movie version of that book, do you know who should play Leonard's mother? Sandra Bullock.
 * Howard: Why?
 * Raj: Because she's great in everything.


 * Minister: Do you, Penny, take Leonard to be your lawful wedded husband?
 * Penny: (turning, heavily pregnant): Well, it’s a little late for me to start saying no, isn't it?


 * Leonard: You know what? I don't have to stand here and take this crap.
 * Penny: Where the hell do you think you're going?
 * Leonard: Isn't sex after fighting kind of what we do now?
 * Penny: Well, kind of, yeah.