Bring Me The Face of Hector Con Carne

Evil Con Carne: Season: Grim and Evil Segments Episode: 7


 * Ghastly: Jeepers!
 * Hector: (reading a book to Boskov) So, Harry Pooter's wicked stepmother locked him in a closet and said "no liver and beet mash for you tonight".
 * Ghastly: Chief!
 * Hector: Don't you ever knock?
 * Ghastly: Sorry, chief but I have some good news. I've been tracking the trajectory of your exploded body parts, and I think I may have located your face somewhere in the arctic!
 * Hector: My face? Are you sure?
 * Ghastly: 99.957%, chief! It's possible that the sub-zero temperature preserved it intact.
 * Hector: Tell Skarr to gas up the jet. I haven't seen my face in seven years. (a flashback begins where a full version of Hector hosts a party)
 * Guest #1: Hector and I go way back.
 * Guest #2: I assure you, barronness. Hector will deliver the rockets on time.
 * Lady #1: Oh, Mr. Con Carne, will you dance with me?
 * Lady #2: No, dance with me!
 * Hector: Now, ladies. There's no reason I can't dance with both of you. (the two women laugh, when all of a sudden Cod Commando arrives) Step aside. I can handle this. Cod Commando. We meet again. You dare come into my house and crash my party? I don't remember inviting any smelly fish.
 * Cod Commando: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!
 * Hector: You can't prove anything! I'm a legitimate businessman. Now, get out of my sight before I lose my patience! (Cod Commando leaves) How can I take over the world with Cod Commando breathing down my neck!?
 * Pirate: Argh. Ye be needing to get yourself a mad scientist, as it were.
 * Hector: (back to present day) It's time we join the others, Boskov. To the hangar! (at the hangar) No! That does not go there, you stooge!
 * Ghastly: (thinking to herself) Ah, chief. Why, I still remember the day we met. (a flashback begins) I wish someone would look at my inventions. (reads from a blimp) "Mad scientist wanted. Call 1-800-HECTOR to apply." (she and her inventions sit at the waiting room next to a blonde nurse)
 * Hector: Next! (Ghastly walks towards Hector) Buenos días. Let me get to the point. I need someone who can build me all kinds of highly destructive devices. I need lasers, exploding ducks, hot laser thingies, somebody's aircraft, tanks, you name it! Do you think you can do all that, hmmm?
 * Ghastly: Oh, yes! I think so. (she laughs) This is my latest invention. It's a life support system for a brain and stomach.
 * Hector: Why would I want stupid inventions like that?
 * Ghastly: Well, uh, you can stick someone's brain and stomach in it. Wouldn't that be cool?
 * Hector: Get out! (Ghastly left in disappointment; Hector sees Nurse Bully) Oooh! You look perfect. You get the job! (back to present day) Ghastly! Quit your daydreaming and get onboard! (the ship leaves Bunny Island) This is so exciting! Major Dr. Ghastly, do you really think you'll be able to reattach my face?
 * Ghastly: I think so, chief, assuming it hasn't been half-eaten by penguins.
 * Hector: Alright! I can't wait! Oh. If only I hired Ghastly instead of that brain-dead bimbo. (flashback where Hector and Nurse Bully observe a sphere)
 * Nurse Bully: I have completed the device, sir. Just push that big red button and something really cool will happen.
 * Hector: This button?
 * Nurse Bully: That's the one. Just reach out and push it. (she leaves the room)
 * Hector: This is exciting. I'll just reach out with my finger ever so slowly and push the button! (Hector's house exploded with a slowing echo of Nurse Bully saying push the button, revealing as a robotic decoy by Cod Commando. He leaves the robot and laughs at Hector's brain)
 * Ghastly: Mr. Con Carne! (Cod Commando leaves while Ghastly is coughing from the smoke) Mr. Con Carne! (she sees his brain) Ew. (she uses her life support system on the brain and puts both organs in her fridge) Mr. Con Carne? Mr. Con Carne.
 * Hector: Doctor Ghastly?
 * Ghastly: Oh, good! You're awake!
 * Hector: Where am I? What happened?
 * Ghastly: Uh... Well... (she lets Hector look into a mirror, he screams in shock)
 * Hector: I am nothing but a brain! This is terrible!
 * Ghastly: It's not as bad as it looks. I also saved your stomach. (Hector sees his stomach)
 * Hector: Blagh! This... this is unbelievable! I'm ruined! How can I rule the world from inside a refrigerator?
 * Ghastly: Try to look on the bright side. You still have your money, and you still have the world's best mad scientist!
 * Hector: Hmmm. You will be my mad scientist from now on.
 * Ghastly: Oh! Thank you, sir! You won't regret it! I know we'll a great team!
 * Hector: (back to present day) With my face back in my hands, the world will be mine! (the crew arrive at the arctic)
 * Skarr: Stupid cold. Achoo! (he produces icicles from his nostrils)
 * Hector: (all of the people are digging) Well, where is it?
 * Ghastly: According to the radar, it should be right here. Hey! I found something! Come here, quick!
 * Hector: Let me see! Let me see!
 * Ghastly: It's not your face. It's your two front teeth!
 * Hector: WHAT!? (he grunts and yells in disappointment)
 * Skarr: Well, this was a fun little jolt. Can we go now?
 * Ghastly: Sir... I know it's not quite the same as the real thing, but I knitted this for you! (she shows him a fake face made of yarn)
 * Hector: It's... it's, uh...
 * Ghastly: It's your face, chief.
 * Hector: Oh, I- I'm... all choked up. (he wears it)
 * Ghastly: Well, it's the least I can do.
 * Hector: It's a perfect fit. Hehehe. Thank you Major Doctor. I think this is the beautiful beginning of a beautiful friendship. (Hector and Boskov sink into the water from thin ice)