The Wiggly Finger Catalyst


 * Sheldon: I've decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice, thus freeing up my mind to do what it does best: enlighten and amaze.


 * Raj: Look at that. I have a date. I love America again.


 * Raj: If you were me, would you kiss her?
 * Howard: Yeah, but I'm a make out king!


 * Howard: It might have been on your lips, but it was my kiss!


 * Leonard: You think she's taking advantage of him?
 * Penny: Of course not, she wouldn't do something like that. She's deaf.


 * (The scene of the girl posse having a beauty session in Penny's apartment)
 * Amy: Now, I assume we use this same wax later on to neaten up each other’s bikini regions.
 * Penny: Yeah, my bikini region is fine.
 * Amy: Who’s shocked? I’m not. (Bernadette giggles for a second) So, Bernadette, how’s the wedding planning going? And I’m not asking as a prospective bridesmaid. (she imates a ventriloquist) Pick me! Pick me!
 * Bernadette: We went cake-tasting yesterday. Raj came along. He cried and ate half the samples.
 * Penny: Oh, the poor guy’s so lonely. We should set him up with someone.
 * Bernadette: You know, I met a really cute girl at work. She’s married to a guy in one of our drug trials.
 * (Amy thinks for a second and Penny turns to Bernadette with a odd grin)
 * Penny: (she's very sarcastic) Well, hello? She’s married (she scoffs).
 * Bernadette: (she's smiling the serious way) Yeah, but her husband is in serious congestive heart failure, and a little birdie told me he’s in the placebo group.
 * (Amy has another think coming)
 * Penny: Okay, so future grief-stricken widow is the one to beat.
 * (Amy nods her head grumpily for one second)


 * Penny: Handicap people are nice, Leonard. Everyone knows that!


 * Penny: What kind of relationship is it, where you buy her gifts and she gives you sex?
 * Raj: The best I've ever had!


 * Penny: He is cuter now that I know he's rich.


 * Raj: What?! You're going to make me choose between the woman I love, and the money which I have very strong feelings for?


 * Raj: Sometimes I put the TV on mute just to pretend she's still with me... But I can't watch the closed captioning without crying!


 * Penny Oh, I am so sorry. I wish I could make you feel better.
 * Raj: Seriously? I'm heartbroken, and you're hitting on me?!
 * Penny: What?! No!
 * Raj: Well, look, Penny... You're great, but I had a long talk with my parents, and they said if I date an Indian girl, I get a Maserati.