The Colonization Application


 * Emily: (voiceover) I can’t believe you don’t trust me.
 * Bernadette: She sounds really mad.
 * Howard: We should hang up.
 * Bernadette: Yeah, we should.
 * Howard: But we’re not going to, are we?
 * Bernadette: Not a chance.
 * Howard: What happened to snooping is wrong?
 * Bernadette: (she is now very cross) Howard, you’re going to jail for tax fraud. Who cares?
 * (Howard now looks his wife for one last second)


 * Sheldon: Oh, good. You’re back.
 * Amy: We have some exciting news.
 * Leonard: Okay.
 * Sheldon: As you know Amy and I have been together a long time and a lot of things I never thought possible now seem possible.
 * Penny: Okay.
 * Amy: After a careful evaluation of our relationship weave decided that the time was right to take a step forward.
 * Leonard: Okay.
 * Sheldon: Do you want to say it?
 * Amy: Let’s say it together.
 * Sheldon/Amy: We’re getting a turtle!
 * Penny: This is why I've been saying we should keep Champagne on ice.


 * Leonard: Who would have you two would be the first in our group to start a family?
 * Amy: That’s what I said!


 * Raj: And are you sure your roommate’s not coming back while I’m here alone ‘cause that would be awkward?
 * Emily: Oh don’t worry, she’s in Palm Springs.
 * Raj: Oh, good.
 * Emily: Well, her torso is. Just kidding. I put her in the wood chipper.


 * Sheldon: Hi, little guy. How’d you like to come home with us? Ah, you’ll be living with me because we don’t live in the same house.
 * Amy: But that’s not your fault. Like you we’re taking it ridiculously slow.


 * Leonard: So where do you want to hang it?
 * Penny: What? Are you kidding? We’re not hanging it.
 * Leonard: But it’s an expression of our love.
 * Penny: And our butts. Not hanging it!
 * Leonard: Seems a shame to throw it away.
 * Penny: Yeah. (Gasps) We can give it to Sheldon and tell him William Shatner painted it.


 * Sheldon: Do you want me to withdraw my application?
 * Amy: What I want is to be planning our future together.
 * Sheldon: And in that future, are we on the same planet? Yes, because I've seen people make long-distance thing work.
 * Amy: WE’RE ON THE SAME PLANET!
 * Sheldon: Does that planet have to be Earth?
 * Amy: Are you asking me to go to Mars with you?
 * Sheldon: I am. If I’m going to a barren, lifeless environment where the chances for survival are slim to none, I want you there with me.
 * Amy: (Hugs Sheldon)


 * Amy: You know, we could also be the first people to procreate on Mars.
 * Sheldon: You just can’t keep it in your space pants, can you?
 * Amy: Thinks about it. If we had a family there, our kids would be Martians.
 * Sheldon: They would, wouldn't they?


 * Raj: Thank you for forgiving me.
 * Emily: It’s okay. At some point we were bound to have our first fight.
 * Raj: Well, it almost happened when you called my apple pie crust doughy. The truth is you were right and I was just angry at myself.
 * Emily: Can I ask you one thing?
 * Raj: Of course, what?
 * Emily: Did you look in my closet?
 * Raj: No. Just the drawer.
 * Emily: You promise you didn't look in the closet?
 * Raj: I promise. Why, what’s in there?
 * Emily: Don’t worry about it. Good night. (Kiss) (Raj looks worried as Emily turns over and smiles.)