The Return of the Rogue Rabbit

(Open up on a building with the Lady Justice statue on top it. A caption displays saying O.W.C.A.-TRAZ: SUPER SECRET MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON. Crossfade to the cell holding a rather angry Dennis the Rabbit. Cut back to outside the building where Norm gets lowered down on a helicopter. He removes the statue of Lady Justice.)

(Song: "Doof 'N' Puss" (instrumental))

(A disco ball lowers from the helicopter into the hole and deflects the lasers. The bottom half of the disco ball juts in and a mechanical hand draws a circle on the cell and cuts through it, and a boot from it breaks the cell. A rope ladder then emerges from the ball, which Dennis climbs up. Cut back to the roof.)

Norm: All set, sir.

Doofenshmirtz: (laughing)

(Cut to Isabella's backyard where a marionette show is taking place)

Denmother Puppet: Okay, just this once, Fireside Girl. I'm gonna let you ask about my business.

Fireside Girl Puppet: Denmother, are you a puppet?

Denmother Puppet: I'm a marionette. Fuggedaboutit. You gotta fam'ly? Go home to your fam'ly.

(Light applause is heard as the curtain closes.)

Phineas: Wow, Isabella, you have some mad marionette skills.

Isabella: Thank you, Phineas!

Phineas: I know I use this word a lot, but you and the Fireside Girls were awesometacular! I wish more people could experience your talents.

Isabella: Well, we only have so many folding chairs.

Buford: Maybe it would help if your puppets were bigger.

Phineas: What do you mean, Buford?

Buford: My uncle Oslo from Oslo used to make huge marionette puppets!

(Flashback.)

Buford: (voiceover) People would come from miles around to see 'em. Or at least they would have, if he ever finished one.

(End flashback.)

Phineas: Wait, Oslo's in Norway. I thought your family was Dutch.

Buford: Eh.

Phineas: Nevertheless, Buford, I think you may be onto something. (to Isabella) We can build a huge weird puppet, and you guys could take your marionette skills to the people in the streets.

Buford: Yeah, that'll freak 'em out!

Phineas: So whadaya say, Isabella? Are you ready to take the next step?

Isabella: (romantically) Oh, Phineas, yes! I've been right here in front of you all along just waiting for you to... (romantic music distorts) Oh...wait. You were talking about the puppet, weren't you?

Phineas: Well, yeah. What were you talkin' about?

Isabella: (sarcastically) Nothing! I uh, was just...heh heh heh—Hey, where's Perry?

(Cut to Agent P's lair.)

Major Monogram: Agent P, we have a situation. Dennis the Rogue Agent, formerly our most wanted rodent—

Carl: (offscreen) Lagomorph, sir.

Major Monogram: What's that, Carl?

Carl: (offscreen) Sir, they used to be considered rodents, but were reclassified in the early twentieth century.

Major Monogram: Oh, well, I'll have to fix that then. Carl, run out and buy me a new set of encyclopedias.

Carl: (offscreen) A set of what, sir?

Major Monogram: Hmm. Anyway, Dennis, the most wanted lagomorph, miraculously escaped from O.W.C.A.'s maximum security prison sometime this morning. Evidence suggests that Dennis was snatched away by a ninja-disco-robot. If this isn't the work of Doofenshmirtz, (Perry takes off) then Carl will eat my hat.

Carl: (offscreen) Hey!

(Cut back to Isabella's backyard. A truck carrying giant logs of wood backs up on the other side of the fence.)

Driver: (offscreen) I got your 22 and 1/2 tons of reclaimed pine logs.

Phineas: Hey, aren't you a little young to be driving a semi-trailer with 22 and 1/2 tons of reclaimed pine logs?

(Cut to reveal the driver, who looks like a baby.)

Driver: No. No I'm not. (points to the logo on the truck)

(Song: "Babyface Truckin'")

Babyface Truckin'

Our drivers look like children but they're not!

Driver: Now back up. Here come your logs.

(The logs pile into Isabella's backyard.)

Phineas: Thanks, Babyface Trucking guy!

Driver: Now if you'll excuse me I gotta head home. Is nap time. (He takes off.)

Isabella: Is that everything, Phineas?

Phineas: Yep! Let's build us a huge marionette!

(Cut to:)

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

(Cut to inside, where Norm and Doof are standing by the disco ball.)

Doofenshmirtz: You can come out now, Dennis the Rabbit! (The disco ball opens revealing Dennis in cutesy animal mode.) Aw, look how cute! He's cute! (to Norm) Isn't he cute, Norm?

Norm: He's adorable! And so soft...and warm...and squishy!

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, back off, Lennie, you're creepin' me out! (to Dennis) And you, you're not fooling anybody with that cutesy stuff! I happen to know that you are a very bad bunny. And I am...like, totally cool with that! See, I want to defeat Perry the Platypus and take over the Tri-State Area, and what I think I'm lacking is a certain animal instinct to get the job done. You have animal instincts, but what you lack is the evil scientist technology. And that is something that I have. So using my evil scientist skills, I'll make it possible for you to defeat Perry the Platypus while I watch from a safe distance. And together, we'll take over THE TRI-STATE AREA!! Whadaya say? Are you with me? (Dennis holds up his fist.) Great! I always wanted a rodent for a partner.

Norm: (offscreen) Lagomorph, sir.

Doofenshmirtz: Gesundheit.

(Cut to the puppet stage, which is now a control center.)

Isabella: Wow! This thing's so cool, Phineas! Everyone ready?

Phineas: All ready back here! How you doin', Ferb?

(Cut to Ferb in the back reading a newspaper. He looks up to give a thumbs up. Cut to outside to reveal the giant Fireside Girl marionette.)

Isabella: Come on, everyone! Let's take this show to the crowd!

(Song: "Giant Puppet Show")

(Giant marionette.)

Walk, walk,

Giant puppet girl so sweet.

Shift and slowly blink,

Freak out the people on the street.

(They don't know what to think.)

Move your articulate accordion jaw,

Bow your head politely,

Drift through the crowd like a European ghost,

Now raise your hand just slightly.

Ooh...ooh...

Ooh...ooh...

Man 1: It looks like she's trying to tell us something important, in her own silent enigmatic way.

(Cut to a random viking appearing out of a crowd.)

Viking: I feel this puppet is telling us to look into our souls and find the power to embrace love for all humanity.

Man 2: Hey, everyone, the Viking is right!

Moving... (Marionette) slowly...

Shifting... (Giant) slightly

Just by moving slowly and shifting slightly,

The puppet Fireside Girl is telling us

To look into our souls and find the power

To embrace love...

(For all humanity.)

(Cut to Doof walking into a chamber.)

Doofenshmirtz: Now, before I let you loose on the O.W.C.A., this should make you much more formidable. (shows a backpack, but walks down the still moving up escalator) I like to call it my...my...my my my mymmymy (JANE! STOP THIS CRAZY THING!) I guess the escalator wasn't such a good idea after all. Oh, well. Live and learn. Anyway, I like to call it my Transmogrification-Backpack-inator! (straps it on Dennis) It'll give you a robotic exoskeleton that can transform into almost anything. And it's perfect to wear undercover, so no one will ever suspect. Except, maybe, to say, "Hey, look, there's a rabbit wearing a backpack." Go ahead! Give it a try! (A giant hand appears on Dennis' right paw, which blows a hole in the roof.) Hey! What the heck, man?! I live here! You can't go blowing holes in my stuff! (the robotic hand disappears) Now, try it again. (The inator produces a giant robotic body onto Dennis with huge hands, which he uses to hulksmash the floor.) Eh. Okay. Also, no smashing things in here! I'm gunna have to make a list for you, aren't I? (Dennis blasts off) Hey! Wait! Let me open the— (CRASH!) roof.

(Cut to Agent P on his hover car. He sees the robotic Dennis and drives away from him. Dennis smashes the car and Perry parachutes out. Dennis launches a carrot missile at Perry, which misses him. Perry lets go of the parachute and lands in his backyard. Dennis' inator suit transforms again and he picks up Perry.)

Candace: (offscreen) It's true. Ferb told me. It's called rennet, Stacy. (Cut to Candace and Stacy walking in.) They scrape it from the lining of a calf's stomach to make cheese.

Stacy: And yet, when I wanna talk about sushi, you say it's disgusting.

Candace: Omigosh! Cutie Patootie! My long-lost pet rabbit! (Picks up Dennis) Where've you been?! Oh, honey bunny, was Perry bothering you? Poor little fluffy britches patootie pants, let me get you home.

Stacy: Stay down, breakfast. Stay down.

(Cut back to the creepy marionette.)

Isabella: Hey, guys, the crowd is loving it!

Buford: Isabella, I'm all puppeted out! What say we take a lil' break an' get some eats?!

(Cut to the marionette approaching Mr. Slushy Dawg.)

Isabella: (offscreen) Let's take five.

(Cut to the garage.)

Candace: Cutie Patootie, I got your chowsie-wowsie! (gasps) Oh! Stacy, he's gone! Where do you think he went?

Stacy: Maybe he's down at the docks.

Candace: Yeah, maybe he—"Down at the docks?"

Stacy: Or maybe he's just playing with his friends.

(Cut to Perry being thrown against a brick wall. Dennis' inator suit punches through the wall. Perry flees from the rabbit and sees the giant marionette.)

Giant marionette

(Perry goes into the control room and activates the puppet into fighting mode. The puppet punches Dennis. Dennis fires more carrot missiles, blowing the control room apart. Perry climbs onto the head of the puppet and manipulates it manually. Crouching puppet, hidden bunny.)

Dennis: (growls)

(Dennis presses a button, and a glass dome emerges over him.)

(Cut to Doof's living room.)

Doofenshmirtz: Time to see how my little friend is doing. (to the camera) You see, I installed a bunch of nanobot cameras on his backpack.

Norm: Who installed them?

Doofenshmirtz: It was my idea! (turns on the TV) Oh, there he is. And he's fighting a giant puppet girl. What? There's something very familiar about the way she fights. Wait a minute. (The puppet punches the camera and the screen goes to static.) Perry the Platypus?! (Gets off the chair) That does it! I'm going down there!

(Cut to Buford, Phineas, Isabella and Gretchen inside the restaurant as the fight continues behind them.)

Phineas: The big difference is that the marionette has strings, while a puppet is hollow, so it can be manipulated from within. But that doesn't mean that a marionette can't be hollow or a puppet has strings. The thing to remember is that some people take the subject very seriously, even though, technically, there's no difference grammatically. I looked it up.

(Cut back to the fight.)

Doofenshmirtz: (offscreen) There he is, Norm! Down there! On top of the puppet! (Doof gets lowered on the rope ladder.) Lower! Perfect! (Falls down.) Aah! Gotcha! Heh heh! Give up, Perry the Platypus! You know nothing of puppetry— (Perry manipulates the puppet to punch Doof.) Ow! Okay, I-I admit it, y-you do have a certain knack for it. (Perry manipulates it some more. Wide shot to reveal Doof tied up in the strings.) Okay. Well, maybe, "knack" wasn't the right word. (Perry manipulates it to flick Doof off.) Oh no. No no! (Doof gets flicked off the head.) Whoa! (The puppet dives into the ocean.) Curse you, Perry the—blub! (Coughs.) Platypus. I was trying to say, "Platypus."

(Cut to underwater.)

Dennis: (gasps)

(Perry takes a laser from his fedora and cuts the dome holding Dennis. Dennis swims out of the suit and climbs onto the dock. Perry follows him.)

Doofenshmirtz: (drifting away on the puppet) Okay, I guess I'll see you both later. Unless I miss my guess, I'm on my way to...Norway, so, uh, take it easy, Dennis the Rogue Rabbit and uh, curse you, Perry the Platypus!

Candace: (offscreen) Mr. Patootie! (cut to Candace and Stacy) Where are you?

Stacy: There he is!

Candace: (gasps) Mr. Patootie! (runs off)

Stacy: (to the camera) Whadaya know? He was down at the docks.

Candace: Oh, Cutie Patootie, I'm so glad you're safe and sound!

Phineas: There you are, Perry! Cool, Candace, you found your rabbit.

Major Monogram: (appearing in disguise with Carl, also in disguise) Oh, look! There he is! My pet bunny, Mr. Bigelow! I've been lookin' everywhere for you! Get over here, you naughty lagomorph!

Candace: But he's... (to Phineas) Do I have to?

Phineas: Well, he is a lagomorph.

Candace: Oh, okay. (gives Dennis to Monogram) Here.

Major Monogram: You've been a bad little bunny. (walks off with Carl) Now let's get you back to your...special room.

Candace: I don't know. There was something weird about those two.

Phineas: Whadaya mean, Candace? Rabbit owners come in all shapes and sizes.

Candace: A flight helmet and cowboy boots?

Stacy: I think the tall one was wearing a wig.

Ferb: And the other one had a false mustache.

(A helicopter is heard whirring.)

Candace: Plus, they're leaving by helicopter.

(The helicopter flies away.)

Phineas: You do realize that none of those observations disprove my statement, right?

Ferb, Candace and Stacy: Yeah.

End Credits
(standalone broadcasts only)

(Song: "Giant Puppet")

Walk, walk,

Giant puppet girl so sweet.

Shift and slowly blink,

Freak out the people on the street.

(They don't know what to think.)

Move your articulate accordion jaw,

Bow your head politely,

Drift through the crowd like a European ghost,

Now raise your hand just slightly.