Not So Happy Campers Part 1

Chris: Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. I'm your host, Chris Mclean. Dropping season one of the hottest new reality show on television, right now! Here's the deal, 22 campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other. Then have to face the judgement of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team member's walk down the dock of shame. Take a ride on the loser boat an leave Total Drama Island, for good.

Chris: Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all but one camper will receive a marshmellow. In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune, which let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle. Black flies. Grizzly bears. Disgusting camp food!

Worm: Hey now.

Chris: And each other. Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here right now on... Total Drama Island.

~Intro plays~

Chris: Welcome back to ''Total Drama Island. ''All right, it's time to meet our first 11 campers. We told them they'd all be staying at a five star resort, so if they seem a little T.O.ed, that's probably why. Beth, what's up?

Beth: Its so incredulous to meet you. Wow, you're much shorter in real life.

Chris: Uh, thanks. D.J.

D.J.: Yo, Chris Mclean. How's it going? Hey, you sure you got the right place here? Where's the hot tub at?

Chris: Yo, dawg, this is it. Camp Wawanakwa.

D.J.: Humph. Looked a lot different on the application form.

Chris: Hey, Gwen.

Gwen: You mean we're staying here ?

Chris: No, you're staying here. My crib is an airstream with A.C. That-a-way.

Gwen: I did not sign up for this.

Chris: Actually, you did. *Gwen tears papers* The great thing about lawyers is... they make lots of copies.

Gwen: I am not staying here.

Chris: Cool. I hope you can swim though, because your ride just left.

(Horn honking)

Gwen: Jerk!

Geoff: Chris Mclean! 'Sup man! It's an honor to meet you, man!

Chris: The Geoff-Ster. Welcome to the island, man.

Geoff: Thanks, man.

Gwen: They say man one more time, I'm gonna puke.

Chris: Everybody, this is Lindsay. Not too shabby.

Lindsay: Hiiiiiii! Okay, you look so familiar.

Chris: I'm Chris Mclean. The host, of the show.

Lindsay: Oh, that's where I know you from.

Chris: Uh, yeah. Heather.

Beth: Hi! Looks like we're your new friends, for the rest of the next 8 weeks!

Chris: Duncan! Dude.

Duncan: I don't like, surprises.

Chris: Yeah, your parole officer warned be about that, man. He also told me to give him a holler anytime and have you returned to juvie.

Duncan: *sniffs* Okay, then. Meet you by the campfire, gorgeous.

Heather: Drop dead you goof. I'm calling my parents, you can not make me stay here.

Chris: Ladies and gentleman! Tyler!

Tyler hits luggage

Everyone: OOOHHHH!

Heather: UGH! My shoes!

Chris: Wicked wipeout, man! *laughs*

Harold *breathes loudly*

Chris: Welcome to camp, Harold.

Beth: What's he looking at?

Harold: So, you mean this show is at a yucky summer camp and not on some big stage or something?

Chris: You got it.

Harold: Yes! That is so much more favorable to my skills.

Chris: *Shudders* Contestant number nine is Trent.

Trent: Hey, good to meet you man. Saw you on that figure skating show. Nice work, man.

Chris: Hey, thanks man. I knew I rocked that show

Beth: I saw that! One of the guys dropped his partner on her head. So they got an immunity that week.

Harold: Luccckyy. I hope I get dropped on my head.

Lindsay: Me too!

Trent: So, this is it.. All righty, then.

Bridgette: Hey, what's up.

Chris: All right, our surfer chick, Bridgette, is here.

Duncan: *snorts* Nice board. This ain't Malibu, honey.

Bridgette: I thought we were going to be on a beach.

Chris: We are!

* Cut to a poor bird caught in trash ;c)

Bridgette: *sighs* Great.

Chris: All right! That makes-- *thunk* Owwww, darn it! That hurt!

Bridgette: Hey guys.

Geoff: Heyy! I'm Geoff.

Bridgette: What's up.

Harold: Dang! Watch the board, man.

Beth: Hi! I'm Beth!

Bridgette: Hey.

Heather: Okay, we've all met surfer girl, can we get on with the show, please?

Duncan: Looks like someone missed their double cappuccino macchiato this morning.

Heather: Get bent.

Chris: Our *huffs* next camper is Noah.

Noah: You got my memo about my life-threatening allergies?

Chris: I'm sure someone did.

Noah: Good. Is this where we're staying?

Duncan: No, it's your mother's house and we're throwing a party.

Noah: Cute. Nice piercings, original. Do them yourself?

Duncan: *Grabs Noah's lip* Yeah, you want one?

Noah: Uh no thanks. Can I have my lip back please? *Duncan lets go* Thanks.

Leshawna: What's up, ya'll? Leshawna's in the house.

Harold gasps

Leshawna: Yo baby, hey how you doing? How's it going? Feel free to quit now, save yourself the trouble cause I came to win. Oh, what's up my brother, give me some sugar, baby!

Harold: I've never seen a girl like you in real life before.

Leshawna: Excuse me?

Harold: You're real big.. And loud.

Leshawna: What did you say to me? Oh, no you didn't! You have not see anything yet! I'll show you big, baby! *grunts* Oh yeah, you want some of this? Well, come on then!

Chris: All right, campers! Settle down. *ship shows up* Ladies, Sadie, Kadie. Welcome to your new home for eight weeks.

Kadie: Oh my gosh, Sadie look! It's a summer camp.

Sadie: Okay! I always wanted to go to summer camp. Eeeh!

Chris: Ezekiel! What's up, man?

Ezekiel: I think I see a bird.

Trent laughs

Chris: Okay, look dude. I know you don't get out much, been homeschooled your whole life, raised by freaking prairie people, just don't say much and try not to get kicked off too early. Okay.

Ezekiel: Yes sir.

Gwen: That's just...Wow.

Chris: Cody! The coaster, the Code Meister!

Cody: Dude psyched to be here, man. I see the ladies have already arrived. All right.

Leshawna: Save it short stuff.

Chris; Evaa. Nice. Glad you can make it.

Cody: *crunch* Ow! What's in there? Dumbbells?

Eva: Yes.

Duncan: She's all yours, man.

Owen: Wooohoooo! Chris! What's happening? *laughs* This is awesome! Wooohooo!

Chris: Owen! Welcome!

Owen: *crunch* Awesome to be here, man! Yeah! Man, this is just so...

Gwen: Awesome?

Owen: Yes! Awesome! Wooooo! Are you going to be on my team?

Gwen: Oh, I sure hope so.

Owen: Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Chris: You about finished?

Owen: Sorry dude, I'm just so psyched!

Chris: Cool, and here comes Courtney.

Courtney: Thank you. Hi, you must be the other contestants. It's really nice to meet you all.

Owen: How's it going? I'm Owen.

Courtney: Nice to meet you, ohhhhh wow.

Sadie faints

Chris: This is Justin! Welcome to Total Drama Island 

Justin: Thanks, Chris. This is great.

Chris: Just so you know, we picked you based entirely on your looks.

Justin: I can deal with that.

Owen: I like your pants.

Justin: Thanks man.

Owen: Cause they look like they're all worn out. *laughs* Did you buy them like that?

Justin: Uh, no. Just had them for a while.

Owen: Oh, cool. *whack* Stupid!

Chris: Hey everyone! Izzyyy!

Izzy: Hi, Chris! Hiiiii! Woah! *trips*

Tyler: OOOOH. That was bad. *laughs*

Courtney: Guys! She can be seriously hurt

Izzy: That felt sooo… Good! Except for hitting my chin. This is summer camp? That is so cool. Do you have paper Mache here? Are we eating lunch soon?

Owen: That is a good call!

Chris: First things first. We need a group photo for the promos. Everyone on the end of the dock! *they walk there* Okay! One, two, three. *Snap* Oops! Okay, forgot the lens cap. *click* Okay, hold that pose. One, tw-. Oh wait, cards full. Hang on.

Leshawn: *rolls eyes* Come on, man. My face is starting to freeze.

Chris: Got it, okay. Everyone say Wawanakwa!

Campers: WAWANAKWA! *snap* AHHH!

Chris: Okay guys. Dry off and meet at the campfire pit in 10. *Scene* This is Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next eight weeks. The campers sitting around you will be you cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. Ya dig? The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island  the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000!

Duncan: Excuse me? What will the sleeping arrangements be? Because I'd like to request a bunk under her.

Heather: They're not co-ed, are they?

Chris: Noooo. Girls get one side of each cabin and dudes get the other.

Lindsay: Excuse me, Kyle. Can I have a cabin with the lake view since I'm the prettiest?

Chris: Okay, you are. But that's not really how it works here and it's Chris.

Kadie: I have to live with Sadie or, I'll die.

Sadie: And I'll break out in hives. It's true.

Gwen: This cannot be happening.

Owen: Awww come on guys! It'll be fun, it's like a big sleepover!

Tyler: At least you don't have to sleep next to him.

Rock music plays

Chris: Here's the deal. We're gonna split you into two teams if I call your name out go stand over there. Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Kadie, Owen, Leshawna, Justin, and Noah. From this moment on, you are officially known as, *music* the Screaming Gophers!

Owen: Yeah! I'm a gopher! Woooo!

Kadie: Wait! What about Sadie?

Chris: The rest of you over here. Geoff, Bridgette, D.J., Tyler, Sadie, Izzy, Courtney, Ezekiel, Duncan, Eva, and Harold. Move, move, move!

Sadie: But Kadie's a gopher! I have to be a gopher!

Courtney: Sadie, is it? Come on, it'll be okay.

Sadie: This is so unfair! I miss you Kadie!

Kadie: I miss you too!

Chris: You guys will officially be known as the Killer Bass!

Harold: Awesome! It's like.... Amazing.

Chris: All right, campers, you and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition. *static* ''You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries anytime you want. Let the audience at home know what you're really thinking. Or just get something off your chest.''

* Static*

Gwen: ''Um, okay... So far this stinks.''

* static*

Lindsay'': Um, I don't get it. Where's the camera guy?''

* static*

* quack*

* static*

Owen: ''Hey everyone. Check this out. I have something very important to say. *farts* * laughs*''

* static*

Chris: All right. Any questions? Cool. Let's find your cabins. Gophers, you're in the east cabin. Bass, you're in the west.

Heather: Bunk beds. Isn't this a little summer camp?

Gwen: That's the idea, genius.

Heather: *scoffs* Shut it, weird, goth girl.

Cody: You're so smart. I feel that.

Gwen: Shouldn't you be on the boy's side?

Cody screams

Loud crash

Lindsay: Where are the outlets? I have to plug in my straightening iron.

Chris: There are some in the communal bathrooms. Just across the way.

Lindsay: Where's the spa? I'm confused.

Chris: Wow, that's a, shocker.

Gwen: It means we shower together, idiot.

Lindsay complains

Owen: I'm glad we're in our own cabin with just guys. Know what I mean? *laughs* *crickets chirp* I mean no! I didn't mean it like that! I love chicks. *laughs* I just don't wanna sleep near them. *incoherent noices* I mean..

Geoff: Excuse me, Chris? Is there, uh, a chaperone of any kind in this facility here?

Chris: You're all 16 years old, as old as a counselor in training at a regular summer camp. So other than myself. You'll be unsupervised. You've got half an hour to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge, starting now.

Geoff: Nice!

Lindsay screams

Leshawna: Man that white girl can scream.

Lindsay: What is it? Kill it, kill it!

D.J. gasps then screams like a girl.

* crash*

D.J. shudders

Gwen: That.. Was my bed.

The campers scream and attempt to squish it

Duncan raises an axe

Cockroach: Help me.

Gwen: Well, that's one way to kill a cockroach.

Harold: Awesome.

Tyler: If you ever see one of those again, just let me know, k? Cause, *sniff* you know, I can do that too.

Music

Duncan: *scoffs* They always go for the jocks.

Scene

Chef: Listen up! I serve it three times a day and you'll eat it three times a day! Grab a tray, get your food, and sit your butts down NOW!

Beth: Excuse me, but will we be getting all the major food groups?

Harold: Yeah, cause I get hypoglycemic real bad if I don't get enough sugar.

Chef: You'll get, sit your butt down!

Owen: Have a cow.

Chef: What was that?! *silence* Come closer, big guy! I didn't hear you!

Owen: Oh, I didn't really say anything important.

Chef: I'm sure you didn't! You! Scrawny kid, give me your plate.

Leshawna: Yo, what's up girl? *silence* Oh, it's gonna be like that, is it?

Chef: *screams*

Lindsay: Excuse me my nutritionist says I shouldn't eat any white sugar, white flour, or like dairy.

Crunch

Gwen: I don't think that's gonna be a problem.

The sandwich moves 0-0

Lindsay: Cool.

Gwen: Okay, I hate to be predictable and complain on the first day but I think mine just moved.

Chef slams down a hammer on it.

Gwen: Right! Okay, then.

Something slithers

Chris: Welcome to the Main Lodge!

Geoff: Yo, my man. Can we order a pizza? *chef throws a cleaver* Woah! Its' cool G! Brown slop is cool! *laughs nervously* Right guys?

Campers nod in agreement

Chris: Your first challenge begins, in one hour!

Kadie: What do you think they'll make us do!

D.J.: It's our first challenge, how hard can it be?

Dramatic music when they're on a cliff.

Scene

Chris: Next time on ''Total Drama Island. ''Your first task is to jump off this 1,000 foot high cliff into the lake.

* static*

Geoff: I'm looking at this guy and thinking, there's no way he's gonna make it.

* Static*

Gwen: ''I actually thought if he jumps this. He's gonna die.''

* static*

Owen: I'm going to die now. I'm going to totally die now. *screams*

Big splash

Outro plays*

End episode

Anyways this 20 minute video took probably about 1 to 2 hours. So, I would appreciate it, if you fixed dialogue (if needed) and grammar (if needed). Also, I had to use YouTube and their subtitles for this episode, sorry if some parts are skipped out. Again if needed, please fix. And, I'll waste another 2 hours of my time for the next video.. Maybe. See ya! And I copied all of this, so just in case it gets deleted.