A Bat Divided!

Riddle Me This! Starring the prince of puzzlers the king of conundrums the Riddler! [BUZZING] [CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING ON RECORDING] Thank you. And now allow me to introduce our guest contestant Booster Gold. And tonight, he's playing for a big prize: The life of Batman. Here's how our little game works. I'll ask you a series of riddles, and for every incorrect answer Batboy gets a teeny weeny zap, like so. [BATMAN GRUNTING] Get the picture? Now, Booster Gold, riddle me this. What creature is on four legs in the morning two in the afternoon, and three in the evening? A nine-legged unicorn. [BUZZER BUZZES] I'm sorry. The correct answer is "man. " [GRUNTS] Pancakes. [GRUNTS] Square dancing. [GRUNTS] You don't bury survivors. [GRUNTS] I do love this show. How about asking me questions on a subject I know about? Like me. All right, Future Boy. Your partner's on his last wing, so think carefully. Riddle me this. What is blue and gray and tastes like chicken? Uh, hmm [DINGS] Wrong! The correct answer is "fried Batman. " [LAUGHS] No! Ha, ha. You didn't think you could hold Booster Gold captive for long. [ALL GRUNTING] Riddle me this. Why are you like a stopwatch in a block of cement? Answer: Because you're both doing hard time. I don't get it. ENGINEER: This facility is the only test lab in the entire world experimenting in a combination of both nuclear fusion and nuclear fission theories. The result will be a new energy source of incredible power. RONNIE: Boring. Can't we see you blow something up with an atom bomb or whatever? If you don't mind, the rest of us find this interesting, Coach Raymond. It was just a joke, Rusch. Don't get your lab coat in a twist. - Dr. Ecks. - Ah! You're only one half of an evil equation. Where's that energy duplicate of yours? [BATMAN GRUNTS] Looking for me? That will teach you to trifle with the team of Dr. Double X. [ECKS GASPS] Shut up. Get back to work. I'll deal with Batman. Look, kid, I didn't want this job, but we're both stuck with each other. - We're almost at the end of the season. - Semester. Yeah, whatever. Let's just play out the streak and then we never have to talk to each other again. Okay? [SIREN WAILING] COMPUTER [OVER PA]: Radioactive fuel rods exposed. - We better get out of here. - Yeah? What was your first clue? [BOTH GRUNT] COMPUTER: Reactor core meltdown in 30 seconds. [DOUBLE X GRUNTING] You're supposed to be a genius, Ecks. Causing a nuclear meltdown isn't very smart. That's where you're wrong, Batman. Only I could have calculated the exact conditions needed to release this supercharged nuclear energy. It will increase the power of Double X tenfold. [DOUBLE X & BATMAN GRUNTING] He just tricked you into telling him our plan, you overeducated twit. Oh. JASON: Batman? - Unh. - Hostages. Just what the doctor ordered. [ALL GRUNTING] COMPUTER: Core meltdown in 10 seconds. Go! COMPUTER: Nine, eight - Unh. My bum knee. COMPUTER: seven, six - Get out of here! - No can do, coach. COMPUTER: five, four three, two, one. Jason, look out! [CROWD SCREAMING] MAN 1: Quick, get out of here! MAN 2: Keep going! [GROANS] - Whoa. I feel weird. RONNIE: Yeah, me too. Where are you? You sound like you're next to me, but I can't see you. RONNIE: Same here. [SCREAMS] - My hair's on fire! RONNIE: So's mine! Oh, no. Wait, that's our hair? We're in the same body. The energy blast fused us together. The power. Why don't I feel the supercharged nuclear power? He stole our power. Time to scramble, kid. Run! [YELLS] [BOTH GRUNTING] Your conflict is with me, Dr. Double X. I foiled your iniquitous scheme. We're not strong enough for a fight right now. We need a recharge. [GEIGER COUNTER BEEPING] Intriguing. Your body is generating over 2000 megawatts of atomic energy. This calls for further analysis. To the Batcave. [GRUNTS] The cowards have fled. To the Batcave! Whoa. That was intense. Guess I better get to the Batcave. FIRESTORM: I don't know, Batman. Are you sure I have to wear this? Your body is now a living nuclear reactor. The suit will contain any residual radiation you are emitting. Who cares about the uniform? Ask him what he's got in the playbook to get me my body back. Well, maybe if you stopped interrupting me. I was just, um, talking to the guy inside my head who I'm guessing you can't hear, can you? No, I cannot hear your "friend," but since proper analysis of your dilemma requires concentration I suggest you have your conversation elsewhere. What's the holdup? It's not easy working with you breathing down my neck. Well, until you get us some power, I don't have enough energy to completely phase out of your puny existence for a body. This infusion will be only a temporary solution. I just need enough to find that flame-haired twerp from the nuclear lab. [ECKS SCREAMS] [DOUBLE X LAUGHS] This place is so cool. Finally, we agree on something. Let's go check out the weapons section. Hmm, maybe later. I wanna check out the atomic pile. [GRUNTING] Why do we have to go where you wanna go? - It's my body. - It's our body. And I vote for weapons. Dude, are you all right? Because, you know, you're acting really freaky. Sorry. So, uh, somebody jacked my ride, so I had to hoof it all the way back here. You hungry? I got the munchies something fierce. I'm fine, thank you. Okey-dokey. Mi Batcave es su Batcave. Later. Is it just me or has that guy been making too many tackles without his helmet? Wow, not many people can say they've been inside the Batcave. That's because trespassing is against the law, punk. [GRUNTING] What are you doing in the Batcave? Are you the one who stole my car? Because nobody steals my car! You drove me here in the Batmobile, remember? What happened to "Mi Batcave es su Batcave"? Back off. [GRUNTING] How did we do that? [GROWLS] So you wanna play rough, huh? [WHIMPERS] Uh, no, thank you. SCIENCE BATMAN: Cease these hostilities. - Huh? Who are you? - I'm Batman. No, you're not. I'm Batman. No, dudes. I'm Batman. [GEIGER COUNTER BEEPING] [GROWLS] So the nuclear blast at the lab that joined Jason and Ronnie into one being separated us into three parts representing the three broad elements of our personality. I am the logical and empirical aspect. - Geek. - Quiet. Physical Batman is the embodiment of our strength. - Bully. - I'm not kidding. And you represent the, uh I'm what's left without all that heavy personal baggage and science nerd stuff. Groovy. In other words, slacker. Shut up, coach! Oh, sorry. Private fight. He cannot be a part of me. Batman does not eat nachos! [GROWLS] I will get to work on finding a solution. [BOTH GROANING] [FIRESTORM YELPS] [BEEPING] [GRUNTING] [SNORING] We believe we have discovered a solution. By diverting a portion of the nuclear energy through the proper conduit theoretically we can reverse both parties' ill fortune. The atomic matrix is decaying, however, so there is a time factor. Dude, did you swallow a dictionary? We think we figured out how to fix everything but we don't have much time. Where's the other Batman? [YAWNS] - Splitsville. SCIENCE BATMAN: What do you mean? I think he said: [IN DEEP VOICE] "I'm not sticking around here. I've got criminal scum to punish. " But all the Batmen must be together for the recombination process to be successful. Where do you think he went? [IN NORMAL VOICE] Probably wherever he could crack the most skulls. Ha-ha-ha. [GROWLS] Listen up. This is to all the law-breaking bottom-feeders in here. I know what you did and I'm here to take you down. So we can do this the easy way or the hard way. [ALL GRUNTING] SLACKER BATMAN: Dude, that would be so uncool. Methinks mine eyes deceive me. Batman thrice? Somebody please deck this guy. [SCREAMS] Welcome to the party. I don't understand why you insist on brawling with these hooligans. And you call yourself Batman. [CROOKS YELLING] CROOK: Ow! - How about it, kid? - Put me in, coach. [YELLS] Yeah! Teamwork! [GEIGER COUNTER BEEPING] [BEEPING FASTER] [FIRESTORM GRUNTS] I'm going to get my power back even if it kills you. FIRESTORM: Help! [ALL GRUNTING] Where's he taken our little schizophrenic candlestick? [SCREAMS] The energy signature is unique. It shouldn't be difficult to track. Good. Because I'm just getting warmed up. [FIRESTORM GROANING] - Where are we? - You're the brainiac. You tell me. ECKS: Good, you're awake. I wanted you fully conscious when I drained you of the energy you stole. Now, this may tickle a bit. [GRUNTING] With this power, Double X will be unstoppable. The only double X's you'll see are the ones I'm gonna put over your eyes. The Batmen. You'll be the perfect test for my new power. [GROWLS] What? No one said anything about a test. It's going to be a black day for the Dark Knights. - Whoa. Dude got big. - Double X is feeding off the energy flowing into Dr. Ecks to increase his size and strength. [ALL GRUNTING] Destroying all of you is going to be three times the fun. - Do we understand the plan? - Cause pain. Find the off switch. [FIRESTORM GROANING] Hey, we're getting our bodies back. Good for us, but better for the bad guys. Bummer. Oh, man. Game over. No, it's not. But it is fourth and long with time running out. We can take a knee or we can go for the win. As a team. You call the play, kid. [THUD] Huh? Stop. What are you doing? Calling an audible. Let me out. The energy transfer's not complete. - You know we're going to regret this, right? - Probably. DOUBLE X: My power! Remember us? It's payback time. [GROWLS] [YELLS] [GROANS] [ECKS GROANING] No! I won't go back into this spineless excuse for a human. [DOUBLE X YELLS] FIRESTORM: We're almost out of time. Get in the chamber and I'll use my power to reverse the process. I'll pass. - It simply isn't logical. - Seriously? Look, no one is smarter or more logical than Science Batman. No crime fighter is as tough as Physical Batman. And without Slacker Batman's heart the other personas wouldn't be able to work together. The world needs the one and only Batman. Nice speech. But if you're gonna keep up with this hero stuff, you'll need a name. I got it. Flame Dude. I'll consider it. That's all I ask. Nice work, Ronnie and Jason. You guys make quite the team. Thanks, but you can call us Firestorm. Firestorm? You sure? I kind of liked Flame Dude. Oh, brother.