8 Carrot

(Bugs Bunny, dressed in a rapper's outfit, is snacking on a carrot in the restroom. Daffy enters the room.)

Daffy: B-Rabbit, you're on.

Bugs: Eh, I told you, Daffy, my name is Bugs.

Daffy: No, your MC name is "B-Rabbit"! We've got to appeal to today's kids! No longer Looney Tunes, we're "Lizooney Tizunes"! Woo-hoo! Real hip-hop, dawg!

(Bugs vomits in the sink.)

Daffy: Sufferin' succotash!

Bugs: Eh, I'm nervous, Daffy.

Daffy: Listen, brother, you've gotta get out there! And don't choke again!

Bugs: Eh, which way is the stage?

Daffy: Just look at the sign!

(Daffy points to a sign reading, "Pismo Beach" and "The Stage".)

Daffy: Get ready for the rap battle of the century! First, let's have a had for DJ Bacon Bits!

(Pan to Porky Pig in a DJ's outfit.)

Porky: Eh, blee-blee...Put your hands in the air like you just don't care. Heh heh.

Daffy: All right! Our first challenger tonight, hail from 8 Carrot Road! Put your hands together for B-Rabbit!

(Bugs enters the stage in his usual manner of digging underground.)

Daffy: And, first on the mike tonight, is the reigning champion, the MC Hunter, Elmer Fudd with a PH!

Elmer Fudd: I'll get you, wabbit! Yo! I'm taking you to school, call me the Professor, you're sexually confused, 'cuz you're a cross-dresser. You like to kiss men, and that's real funny. Call up Hugh Hefner, you a gay-boy bunny! You're lost on this stage, you need a map, jerky, you made a wrong left turn at Albuquerque! One more, one more. I'm a pimp, 'cuz my hunting apparel's hot, son. I'll do a drive-by on your home with my double-barreled shotgun!

(Elmer fires at Bugs with his shotgun.)

Daffy: Now, hold on a second, Mac! It's not rabbit-hunting season yet! See?

(Daffy points to a sign reading, "Wabbit Season (Not Yet)".)

Daffy: Okay, your turn, B-Rabbit!

Bugs: Eh, ee, yo! Eh, heh, uh...yo...

Crowd: Choke! Choke! Choke! Choke!

Crowd Member: Ah, you suck!

Bugs: Yeah! Yeah! I know that you call me a "Wascally Wabbit", you say your R's like W's, that's a really bad habit! It's room, not woom, trees, not twees, you replace so many R's, I thought you was Chinese! You're so stuck on yourself, I'll call you Elmer's Glue. I got you some coffee, one lump or two?

Elmer Fudd: Two? (Bugs whacks Elmer on the head with a mallet, twice.)

Bugs: I only dress like a girl to prove that you're gay! Would you like a kiss, handsome?

Elmer Fudd: Really? Okay!

Bugs: Elmer packs Fudd, you heard what I said. He's so bald, I'll put a "hare" on his head! I'll sit down on your head just like I was a Thinker. Hmm... (farts) Ain't I a stinker?

(The crowd goes wild.)

Daffy: Holy Toledo! B-Rabbit wins! B-Rabbit wins!

Elmer Fudd: (sobs) I'm a disgrace!

Dr. Dre: Yo, B-Rabbit. It's me, Dr. Dre.

Bugs: Eh...What's up, Doc?

Dr. Dre: Ain't nothing but a 'G' thing baby. I'd like to offer you a record deal. You're gonna go down in history as the first gray MC.

(The Looney Tunes circles zoom in on Porky Pig. The words "That's all Bitches!" appear in front.)

Porky: Eh, blee-blee...That's all bitches!

(The Credits roll.)