Heat Wave, Crime Wave

(Scene: The Botsford’s back yard. Becky, Bob and TJ are in swim suits, sitting in an inflatable pool.)

Narrator: A  sweltering  heat wave has taken over the city, leaving its citizens completely pooped.

TJ: Ugh… (to Bob) Move over, your fur is hot!

Becky: TJ, it’s your turn to refill the pool.

TJ: (feigning trying to reach for the nozzle of the hose) Uh-- nope, I can’t reach.

Becky: TJ!

TJ: Okay, okay! I’m going! (trying to reach it without leaving the pool.)

Mr. Botsford: Holy capri pants, it’s hot out here. Hey kids! And Bob. You know what would be great right now? A trip to Splashy Splasherton’s Splish-Splash-O-Rama!

TJ: (gasps) So we can splish-splish-splish in the summer sun?

Becky: And we can splash, splash, splash ‘till the evening comes?

Mr. Botsford: At Splash Splasherton’s-- the hottest cool time on the planet! (with jazz hands) Yeah!

Becky: Alright!

TJ: Last one in the car sits next to hot furry Bob!

Mr. Botsford: Hold on there, son. We can’t go yet.

TJ: Why not?

Mr. Botsford: We have to wait until three o’clock, when the park has its two-for-one admission special. I buy tickets for Becky and Bob, and and then you and I get in for free! Now that’s what I call an  opportunity  for savings!

TJ: I’ve heard there’s this spot in the parking lot that’s a total splash zone! Let’s go now and we can get soaked before we even go inside!

Mr. Botsford: For free?

TJ: For free!

Mr. Botsford: Well, what are we waiting for?! (He runs to the car with TJ.)

TJ: I don’t know!

(A broadcast comes over the radio. As the announcer is talking, we cut to a scene showing him in the studio, sweating profusely.)

Radio Announcer: Breaking news… reports are just coming in that an armored car was stolen by a little old lady flying around in a suit of armor… (throws the news copy over his shoulder) ...and to check on the weather… it’s hot…

Becky: That got to be Granny May! (Bob chatters at Becky.) I know you want to go to Splashy Splasherton’s, but we’ve got a villain to catch!

(TJ and Mr. Botsford walk back toward the pool.)

Becky: Hey, guys! Bob just reminded me that we have to… find a… butterfly! For a school project. About-- butterflies.

Mr. Botsford: Ah, the majestic butterfly. Okay, but hurry back.

TJ: Aw!

Becky: Right. C’mon, Bob.

(TJ sits angrily in the pool.)

Mr. Botsford: Move over

(Scene: EXT. city street. An armored car goes by, with Granny May in her armored jet-powered suit hanging onto the back.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, there’s at least one person who isn’t bothered by the  sweltering  heat!

Granny May: Ooh, boy, it’s a scorcher! Ha-ha, not that I care! (Checks an indicator on her wrist.)

Electronic Voice: Outside temperature, 99 degrees. Inside robo-granny temperature, 68 degrees.

Granny May: I am as cool as can be inside this air-conditioned armor! And with the heat wave tiring everybody else out, I have the  opportunity  to steal whatever I want! Easy as--

(The truck stops suddenly. WordGirl has landed in front of it and is blocking it from moving.)

WordGirl: Going somewhere?

(Huggy is fanning himself. WordGirl’s expression turns to exhaustion.)

Granny May: You okay, dearie? (snickers) You look a little-- worn out.

(WordGirl is now sweating profusely.)

WordGirl: I’m fine! Just a little--

Granny May: Hot?

WordGirl: Yeah. It’s  sweltering .

Granny May: Yes, well I’m sure it’s swell to do a lot of things. But I don’t have time, kid! Heh-heh.

WordGirl: No, I said it’s  sweltering .  Sweltering  means uncomfortably hot. Like today. It’s so hot, it’s natural to do a little sweating.

Granny May: Not in HERE it isn’t! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Sorry, dear. (She pulls out her knitting needles and covers them with yarn.)

WordGirl: Ugh! Get this yarn off of me! I’m  sweltering !

Granny May: Ha ha! Ta-ta for now! (She takes off with the gold bars from the armored truck.)

WordGirl: That’s it, Huggy. That Granny’s going down! Just as soon as I-- (tries to escape the yarn) Maybe we should have gone with short sleeves.

Narrator: Uh, guys?

WordGirl: Yeah?

Narrator: I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s pretty hot out, and it just doesn’t seem fair…

WordGirl: What doesn’t seem fair?

Narrator: TJ’s trying to convince your dad to go to the water park without you!

WordGirl: (gasps) That little sneak!

Narrator: But hey, don’t--

(She breaks herself and Huggy free from the yarn.)

Narrator: --tell him I told you-- so. Eh, let’s just go to the next scene.

(She and Huggy take off.)

(Scene: in the Botsford’s backyard, TJ and Mr. Botsford are still sitting in the pool.)

TJ: Of course I’m sure, Dad! Becky practically told me that she and Bob prefer this pool! We should just go without them.

Mr. Botsford: I don’t know, TJ, Bob seemed pretty excited. I mean, he poured water on his head. That kind of enthusiasm is hard to fake.

TJ: I’m telling you, Dad, we’d be doing him a favor by going without him! (He leans back, and sees Becky looking down at him.)

Becky: Doing us a favor, huh?

TJ: H-hey, Becky! Bob! How long have you guys been standing there?

Mr. Botsford: Well, we’re all here now. So let’s (singing) splish splash to Splishy-Splasherton’s!

(They all run toward the car. Becky stops.)

Becky: Wait-- what am I doing? I can’t go to Splashy’s. Granny’s still on the loose! Then again, if Granny commits another crime, I could always just leave Splashy Splasherton’s to go after her. (trying to convince herself) In fact, I probably SHOULD go to Splashy’s, just in case Granny takes this  opportunity  to rob it. What better place to rob during a heat wave than a water park??

(She laughs and snorts, then starts running off. But she changes direction quickly.)

Becky: Oh… who am I kidding? Like it or not, as long as Granny’s out there, it’s our job to find her.

(Bob comes back to her, wearing snorkel gear and an inflatable duck. He chatters at her.)

Becky: Good point, Bob. Splashy’s it is!

(The radio cuts in with an announcement. We again cut to a scene showing him in the studio, still sweating profusely.)

Radio Announcer: This just in… the same old lady in flying armor is now robbing an ice cream stand… it’s still hot… with continuing hotness and… very hot tomorrow…

Becky: Oh, no! (Bob whimpers) Aw, come on, Bob. Don’t make this any harder than it is. We’ll have other  opportunities  to go! You know,  opportunity . A chance for you to get something you want. Like our  opportunity  to catch Granny May! (Bob squeaks.) Right, or our  opportunity  to go to the water park.

(They have now reached the car.)

Becky: But right now, we have to go after her.

Mr. Botsford: Go after who?

Becky: The-- uh-- the Butterfly Fairy! Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of the Butterfly Fairy?

Mr. Botsford: Oh, I’ve-- heard of her… I’m just not sure why you have to find her right now.

Becky: School project, Dad. We’ll be right back!

TJ: What?

Becky: And then we can all go to the water park! Okay?

(Long pause.)

Becky: Great! (walks off with Bob)

Mr. Botsford: (to TJ) Now what were you saying about leaving without them?

(Scene: an ice cream truck. Granny May, still in her air-conditioned armor, is standing in front of the counter, with children and adults standing around.)

Granny May: (talking to vendor) Be a dear, and hand over the the cash, sonny?

Ice Cream Vendor: Forget it, Robot Granny!

Granny May: Oh, well maybe I’m not making myself clear, young man. Hand over the money now, or I will use my jetpack to MELT all the ice cream!

Ice Cream Vendor: B-b-but it’s  sweltering  out!

Granny May: Heh-heh-heh! All the more reason to hand over the money!

(He goes to the cash register and comes back with a sackful of cash.)

Granny May: Along with a vanilla cone with sprinkles, please.

(WordGirl and Huggy arrive.)

WordGirl: Going somewhere-- (she and Huggy stop and stare at the vanilla cone longingly) -- Granny?

Granny May: Oh, hungry for some ice cream, are you?

WordGirl: Ice cream…

(WordGirl seems hypnotized for a few seconds by the ice cream cone. Then she shakes her head around and comes out of it.)

WordGirl: Forget it Granny!

(Huggy runs toward the cone, but she holds him back, and she raises her fist and her voice goes into superhero mode.)

WordGirl: The only ice cream WE want is the ice cream of JUSTICE!

(There is a long pause while everyone stares at her.)

WordGirl: That sounded better in my head!

Granny May: If you don’t want ice cream, then how about a SWEATER?

(She pulls out her knitting needles and shoots yarn toward WordGirl, but she grabs Huggy and they jump on top of the truck.)

Granny May: A bit quicker on your toes this time, huh? Let’s see if THIS slows you down! (She shoots yarn at some of the adults and kids, tying them up.)

Green-jacketed man: WordGirl, help!

Man #2: Oh man, it’s  sweltering  in here!

WordGirl: Huggy, quick! (She and Huggy go down to help the civilians out of the yarn.)

Granny May: Ta-ta for now! (She takes off in her jet-powered suit.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, back at the Botsfords...

(Scene: The Botsford house. Mr. Botsford and TJ are still sitting in the car waiting.)

TJ: Just think of it, Dad! Standing there in the Splashy Splasherton parking lot…

Mr. Botsford: Mmmm! (starts to put the key into the ignition.)

TJ: … and a giant wave of cold, refreshing water comes right up over the fence!

Mr. Botsford: Oh, baby!

TJ: Completely soaking you! Can’t you feel it, Dad?

Mr. Botsford: Ye-e-es! YES! (pushes the key in and starts to turn it)

Becky: We’re back!

Mr. Botsford: (in a guilty tone) We weren’t going anywhere!

TJ: Aww Beck, we’re tired of waiting for you to finish up your butterfly project.

Mr. Botsford: We want to go to Splashy’s!

TJ: Yeah!

(Granny May’s voice suddenly comes over the car radio.)

Granny May: Sorry to interrupt, folks, but this is a private message for WordGirl. If the rest of you would be so kind as to cover your ears? It’d be much obliged.

(Mr. Botsford and TJ cover their ears. Mr. Botsford looks over to Becky, and she covers hers too, causing Bob to fall to the ground.)

Granny May: Hello, WordGirl! I thought you might be interested to learn that I have just stolen the Hoboken diamond. If you want to stop me, meet me on Houston Street downtown. Ta-ta!

Becky: Ahh… I have to go.

TJ: What?

Mr. Botsford: (sadly) What now?

Becky: More butterflies. For school.

Mr. Botsford: But it’s already 1:30…

Becky: Trust me-- this is not going to take long!

TJ: That’s what you said last time.

Mr. Botsford: Yeah!

Becky: Tell you what. If we’re not back by two o’clock, you can leave without us. Okay?

Mr. Botsford: Okay.

Becky: Come on, Bob! We’ve got a big armored butterfly to catch!

(Mr. Botsford falls against the steering wheel, making the horn go off.)

(Scene: on top of a building downtown. Granny May is standing on top of the building, and WordGirl and Huggy arrive.)

WordGirl: Okay, Granny! We got your message! Now, can we hurry this up, we have someplace else to be!

Granny May: (waves the diamond around) You want it? Well, come and get it!

(Granny May takes off. WordGirl takes off after her, leaving Huggy on the roof. A chase ensues. At one point, they both fly by three people fanning themselves at a bus stop, and the breeze is refreshing to the bystanders. As WordGirl pursues Granny May, she is becoming more fatigued.)

WordGirl: So-- hot! But-- must-- keep-- going.

(She flies past a clock tower)

WordGirl: Oh no-- only five more minutes till two o'clock! Got to get that diamond.

(Granny May continues trying to wear her out by flying in loops.)

Granny May: Woo-hoo! Oh come on, WordGirl! I thought you were faster than that! Ha-ha-ha!

WordGirl: Too-- hot! Can’t-- move! Never-- get-- to-- water park-- in-- time! (She starts falling toward the ground.)

Granny May: Heh-heh! Just the  opportunity  I’ve been waiting for!

(WordGirl lands in a tree.)

Narrator: Is this the end of WordGirl? Is she really too weak to move? Should she have just gone to the water park?

WordGirl: Yes.

Narrator: Yeah, I guess that one’s pretty obvious.

(Granny May flies by the building where Huggy is waiting. Huggy spots someone below who is selling ice.)

Ice Bag Vendor: Ice bags! Get your ice bags here!

(Huggy leaps down onto the ice bags, and grabs several of them. Then he manages to leap up onto Granny May as she passes close to him, and straps the ice bags to her suit.)

Granny May: Hey! What did you put on my back?

(Her suit starts warning her of the temperature change.)

Electronic Voice: Outside temperature dropping. Outside temperature cold.

Granny May: Oh! Oh no! The temperature is down, that’ll activate the--

(The suit, thinking that the outside temperature was now freezing, automatically turned up the inside temperature of the suit.)

Electronic Voice: Heating system activated.

(Granny May lands on the street, next to where WordGirl is sitting.)

Granny May: I’m  sweltering ! Get it off me! Get it off me! (She deactivates the armor)

WordGirl: Hot out here, isn’t it, Granny?

Granny May: Oh! Yes! I mean-- it sure is. If I could just dash off and splash some cold water on my face?

(We see that WordGirl and Huggy are sitting on a lemonade stand, wearing sunglasses and sipping on lemonade.)

WordGirl: Yeah, I don’t think so.

Granny May: Drat!

(Scene: back at the Botsford house, Mr. Botsford and TJ are still overheating in the car. The horn is still going off.)

TJ: Oh, now we’re never gonna make it!

Mr. Botsford: (raises his head off the steering wheel and sings weakly) Splashy Splasherton’s… the hottest cool time on the planet…

(Becky and Bob show up at the car.)

Becky: Two minutes to spare! (She and Bob get in the back.)

TJ: Really? No more butterflies?

Becky: Nope! We just caught the one we were looking for! Right, Bob?

Mr. Botsford: Alright! Splashy Splasherton’s, here we come!

(There is a crack of thunder and a flash of lightning, and rain starts to fall.)

TJ: Oh! No way!

Becky: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Mr. Botsford: Come on, kids! We were gonna get drenched anyway! Maybe they’ll give us a rainy day discount! Splashy Splasherton’s!

Becky: Yeah!

(The closing scene is of Granny May in an air-conditioned cell, and the Botsfords going down the log flume in the pouring rain.)

Narrator: And so, once again WordGirl has put an end to Granny May’s criminal  opportunities , and once again Mr. Botsford looks for any  opportunity  to save a little money. Join us next time for more red-hot, dare I say  sweltering  action in another episode of WordGirl!