The X in the File

HE X IN THE FILE

TEASER

(Open: Roswell, New Mexico. A man is searching for aliens in a desert.)

MARVIN: (on phone) I can't hear you-the reception's bad out here. Aliens? I told you baby, I'm done hunting aliens. I am on the road. Yeah, in Florida, yeah. What? No I'm in my hotel room working late. You're just going to have to trust me, babe. Yeah. Well, I'm s- I'm sorry that's the way you feel. A souvenir from Florida. Oh, babe, I can't take a... like, a list right now. Well, there are no pens or pads in this hotel. (Shines flashlight on a body) Oh, my god! Babe! I found one. No, not a pen -- an alien. A real one. Oh, my god, I gotta get a picture of this. (Takes a picture on phone)

(Twigs snap and Marvin turns around.)

MARVIN: What's that?! Baby, there's more of them. I come in peace. I'm Marvin Breekman but you can call me Marvin. Or Marv. (Screams and runs away) Oh, my god, oh, my god!

(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office)

WENDELL: I made reservations at the club. DJ Spider tonight, then back to my place?

ANGELA: I'm not sure if I can wait for tonight.

WENDELL: Okay, I was fine until you just said that.

ANGELA: You know, I have a key to the Egyptian storage room.

WENDELL: Not on campus, not at work.

ANGELA: Come on, are you really as virtuous as you seem?

WENDELL: I can be very bad when the time is right.

(They kiss.)

WENDELL: We do get a very generous lunch break, and there's a little hotel a few blocks away.

ANGELA: Wow, Mr. Bray.

(Cam enters.)

WENDELL: Dr. Saroyan, I was just asking Angela if she could do some 3D modeling of a shattered femur that I was given by the archaeology department. (Hands Angela a folder)

CAM: Save it, Mr. Bray. You think you have the big secret, but you don't. (Hands Wendell a folder)

ANGELA: I thought we were being subtle.

WENDELL: Oh man, do you think Hodgins knows?

(Cut to: Desert in Roswell, New Mexico. Booth and Brennan are walking to the body.)

BOOTH: Can you imagine if we found an alien - a real one?

BRENNAN: You mean someone who slipped illegally into the country from Mexico or Canada?

BOOTH: Come on Bones, you don't believe that there are other real life-forms out there?

BRENNAN: Well, the probability is very high but any aliens visiting this planet would have sufficient intelligence not to die in the middle of the desert.

(Brennan and Booth approach Sheriff Jerry Bonds.)

BOOTH: Hey. FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. This here is Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian.

BONDS: Sheriff Jerry Bonds. But you probably got that from my shiny badge, my imposing gun and my big hat.

BOOTH: Yeah, right.

BONDS: Remains are right over there.

(Bonds, Booth and Brennan walk over to the body.)

BOOTH: Looks like an alien to me.

BRENNAN: Judging by the pelvic inlet and the pubic symphysis-female, maybe 30 years old.

BOOTH: Earth female?

BRENNAN: Yes. Body moisture was trapped by this silver coat she's wearing, turning some of her fat into adipocere. I have no idea why it's so hard.

BONDS: Didn't even dig a shallow grave. Just left her here to be eaten.

BRENNAN: Which is the smartest possible way to get rid of human remains.

(Marsha approaches with shotgun pointed at Brennan and Booth.)

MARSHA: What the hell is going on here now?

BOOTH: Oh, easy, FBI. Put the shotgun down, ma'am.

MARSHA: This is my land. I've got a right to protect my land.

BONDS: Yeah, uh huh, Marsha, but we got a dead body. (Takes shotgun from Marsha) A woman, seems like.

MARSHA: Great. Now I've got dead people.

BOOTH: You don't know anything about this?

MARSHA: Nope.

BRENNAN: I want the remains brought back to the Jeffersonian for examination.

BONDS: Nuh uh, not gonna happen. My jurisdiction, my body. She stays here.

BOOTH: No, FBI has got jurisdiction on this case. (to Brennan) You want it, right?

BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.

BOOTH: The FBI will keep you apprised.

BONDS: Nuh-uh, FBI's got jurisdiction only if I agree. Otherwise, you need to jump through several legal hoops, which will take some time, during which time the victim stays in town.

BRENNAN: Then why did you call us?

BONDS: I could use the help, but I'm not going to take the heat when people scream I sent an alien off to Washington for secret testing. (Laughs) I've been through that before.

BRENNAN: These remains are not extraterrestrial.

(Victim's cell phone rings: X-Files theme song.)

BRENNAN: It's a cell phone.

BOOTH: You hope.

(Opening credits)

Act I (Todd Copps Medical Center in Roswell, New Mexico)

BONDS: I traced the cell phone to the guy who found the remains. I'm holding him on trespassing charges. This is part of our hospital that got shut down. It's a perfect place for you to look at the remains.

BRENNAN: I need to send samples back to the lab.

BONDS: Yeah, uh-huh, but the big body part stays here. Now, the remains are in here and Mr. Breekman's at my office if you want to come with me, Agent Booth. Ma'am. (Tips hat at Brennan)

BOOTH: Hey, you're going to be okay here all alone in this spooky hospital with a dead alien body?

BRENNAN: Yes.

BOOTH: Right. That would be me who wouldn't want that.

(Cut to: Brennan in medical center lab, connected via laptop with Cam at Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Platform)

BRENNAN: The remains are encased in adipocere.

CAM: If it's okay with Sheriff Lobo, maybe you could send me some.

BRENNAN: It appears to be petrified.

CAM: A coat alone doesn't count for that.

BRENNAN: I'll send the coat to Hodgins, see what he can discern from it. Her skeletal robusticity and large areas of muscle attachment suggest extremely good health.

CAM: A couple weeks in the desert and no critters got at these remains?

WENDELL: Perhaps the result of green radiation from alien hyper drive systems? Or something not crazy.

BRENNAN: The man who found them remarked that he saw several sets of orange eyes staring at him from the darkness.

WENDELL: Orange-eyeballed aliens?

BRENNAN: Tapetum lucidum of the American coyote glows orange when light strikes the retina. What he saw were likely coyotes, not orange-eyeballed aliens. Oh, you were being facetious. That's funny.

(Cut to: Booth in interrogation room, connected via laptop to Sweets - in Sweets' Office)

SWEETS: Wearing your earpiece, he's not going to be able to hear me so I can help you with your interrogation. Some people who chase UFOS believe in alien abductions. Now, these people tend to be dreamy, highly suggestible, and possess a strong belief that there is something larger than them out there, something that they can't control.

MARVIN: Look, I only found the body. I didn't make it dead.

SWEETS: Okay, that's very dissociative language: 'make it dead.'

BOOTH: So, Mr. Breekman, you were abducted by aliens five years ago?

MARVIN: Yes.

BOOTH: If aliens are so advanced, why would they need probes?

MARVIN: I think they like it.

BOOTH: Why would you hook up with aliens if they like to anally probe you?

MARVIN: there are two races of aliens and they do not see eye to eye.

BOOTH: Right.

MARVIN: I know things. I get laughed at but I persist because I know things. It just seems like maybe I deserve a little respect for that.

BOOTH: All right, of course. I apologize.

MARVIN: Okay, then, can I go home?

BOOTH: Why were you in the desert last night?

MARVIN: I was looking for UFOs.

BOOTH: No, I mean to that specific area. I mean, what are the changes of you stumbling across a body in the dark...

SWEETS: The vastness.

BOOTH: ... the vastness of the desert. You really want me to believe that that's some kind of big coincidence?

MARVIN: Yes, it was a coincidence.

BOOTH: I don't believe you. I think you're lying.

SWEETS: Sometimes I think you just pull me into these interrogations to show off. Wait, Booth, I-

(Booth closes the laptop.)

BOOTH: Until you tell the truth, you know what? You're not going home.

(Cut to: Hotel room, Angela and Wendell in bed.)

ANGELA: You have something on your mind?

WENDELL: This thing that we have going here...

ANGELA: You're worried about Cam knowing?

WENDELL: No, no. I'm worried about Hodgins not knowing.

ANGELA: Listen, Wendell, Hodgins and I are in the past.

WENDELL: I mean, if you were really, totally in the past, then we wouldn't be keeping this a secret from him.

ANGELA: Do you want me to tell Hodgins?

WENDELL: If you don't mind, I'd like to do it. He's my friend.

ANGELA: A man-to-man, look-him-in-the-eye kind of thing?

WENDELL: Yeah, something like that.

ANGELA: (laughs) Okay, let's do it your way.

(They kiss)

WENDELL: You mean, talk to Hodgins or...?

ANGELA: You're the worst. Both. Consider this a do-over.

(Cut to: hallway in Todd Copps Medical Center - Booth is walking down the hallway and Delmy joins him.)

DELMY: Do you know who I am?

BOOTH: Oh, no, do you know who I am?

DELMY: FBI? Military intelligence? That's an oxymoron, you know, a term that contradicts itself. I'm Delmy Polanco. I'm the most important UFO blogger in the world.

BOOTH: 'Important blogger.' Talk about an oxymoron.

DELMY: What can you tell me about the alien body?

BOOTH: I don't know anything about the alien body.

DELMY: Definitely FBI. I can practically smell the suit.

BOOTH: I don't wear a suit all the time, you know.

BONDS: I see you've met Delmy.

DELMY: I'm looking for info into a foil-wrapped body with alien features, pieces of which have already been sent to the Jeffersonian Institution in Washington, D. C. I'm invoking the Freedom of Information Act, which means you have to tell me what I want to know.

BONDS: The Freedom of Information Act is not a magic spell, Delmy. It merely gives a citizen the right to request information.

DELMY: I'm gonna post all this on my blog tonight and by tomorrow morning, this whole town will be swarming with UFO nuts.

BONDS: Trespassing again? Well, this facility is clearly marked private property. (Shakes handcuffs at Delmy)

BOOTH: Mm-hmm.

(Cut to: Todd Copps Medical Center - MRI Room - Booth enters.)

BRENNAN: Oh, good, you got here for the good stuff.

BOOTH: What good stuff?

BRENNAN: MRI. It's an older model but entirely serviceable.

BOOTH: Okay, for future reference, that's not the good stuff.

BRENNAN: Well, sure it is. Look at all those remodeled lateral malleolus fractures. (Points to the computer)

(Skeleton starts to rise up towards the MRI machine.)

BRENNAN: Also, signs of inflammation to the tannin fibers here and damaged... (Notices skeleton moving and screams)

(Booth takes out his gun, tries to shoot skeleton but gun flies toward the MRI machine. Brennan turns off MRI machine, gun and skeleton drop to the ground.)

BOOTH: You know, I won't say anything about the scream if you don't say anything about the gun.

BRENNAN: Those terms are satisfactory.

BOOTH: Right.

Act II (Brennan in Todd Copps Medical Center - Lab, connected via laptop to Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Platform with Cam, Hodgins and Wendell.

BRENNAN: (taking bullets out of the victim's skull) That's five.

HODGINS: Too big to be buckshot. Photos you sent of the first one show to be a ball bearing approximately 17.5 millimeters.

BRENNAN: That makes number six.

CAM: Certainly enough metal to generate the magnetism to raise the remains when exposed to the MRI.

HODGINS: Well, when I receive them, I might be able to ID the manufacturer and intended use, which I imagine was not murder.

(Angela enters)

ANGELA: Hey. I finished the facial reconstruction off the MRI. I'm emailing it now. Sorry - it is not an alien.

WENDELL: I noticed on the MRI that the victim's patellas were fractured.

BRENNAN: Well, I'll swab the area, and send the samples with the ball bearings.

HODGINS: Well, there's no striations on the ball bearings in this photo you sent so there's no evidence that they were shot.

CAM: Shotgun, maybe? Full of ball bearings?

BRENNAN: Well, the owner of the ranch threatened us with a shotgun. (moves to take off her gloves)

CAM: Not so fast, Dr. Brennan. I know you dislike flesh, but I'm going to need you to remove the adipocere organs.

WENDELL: Oh, Dr. Brennan dealing with flesh.

HODGINS: Like a cat dealing with water.

BRENNAN: Flesh is not my strength.

CAM: You're gonna need a hair dryer and some cooking spray.

(Cut to: Roswell, New Mexico - field on edge of Marsha's property.)

MARSHA: Yep, I've caught her trespassing on my ranch a bunch of times. That's El Crazerita.

BOOTH: El Crazerita. You know her real name?

MARSHA: Nope. I don't make friends with these nuts.

BOOTH: Sheriff Bonds says you've been charged with misdemeanor assault with a firearm about three times.

MARSHA: Someone cut through this fence, Agent Booth. They were trespassers, which is why I was never convicted.

BOOTH: Even though you shot at them?

MARSHA: Salt.

BOOTH: Salt?

MARSHA: Salt. Rock salt. Stings like a sumbitch. Discourages trespassing.

BOOTH: You ever use ball bearings instead of salt?

MARSHA: Ball bearings? That'd rip somebody apart.

BOOTH: Hmm. Like when you took a shot at, uh, ol' El Crazerita?

MARSHA: You think I killed her? You think I'm dumb enough to spend my life in prison for killing some alien head nut who spent all her time shooting stupid videos?

BOOTH: Videos? Videos of what?

MARSHA: Videos of everything. Looking for spacemen. You wanna know about her? Ask Blaine Miller at the Space Place Café. She was always hanging out at his diner with the other fruitcakes.

BOOTH: Sure. Tell you what, I'll take a look at your shotgun there and run some tests. You know, just to make sure.

(Cut to: Brennan at Todd Copps Medical Center - Lab, connected via laptop with Cam at Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Cam's Office. Brennan is taking apart the organs from the victim.)

BRENNAN: I did it!

CAM: Very good, Dr. Brennan.

BRENNAN: Yes, it was.

CAM: Now, remove the stomach.

BRENNAN: Oh.

(Hodgins enters.)

HODGINS: She was covered in ethyl parathion and aldicarb. It was all over her space-age outerwear. It's an insecticide. It's extremely illegal in the U.S., but it's still sold south of the border. It explains why the adipocere dried so quickly.

CAM: So our victim was using a dangerous insecticide. Not unusual for someone who's a couple of tacos short of a combo plate.

HODGINS: Nice metaphor.

CAM: Thanks.

BRENNAN: I found something. It's a memory card tied to a string. It appears to be dental floss.

CAM: Check her teeth. Any evidence of floss still on her teeth?

BRENNAN: Yes. There's a fragment tied to the left second premolar.

CAM: She was hiding the card. It's an old prison trick. She tied one end of the floss to her tooth and the other end to the memory card, so if she needed it, she could use the floss to pull it up.

BRENNAN: I'll overnight the card to Angela. Whatever is on it was important enough to hide.

HODGINS: My guess, it's important enough to kill for.

(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Hodgin's Office. Hodgins is working and Wendell enters.)

WENDELL: Hey, Hodgins.

HODGINS: Hey, man, did you hear? Brennan's sending the victim's SD card from Roswell. Probably video on there the government wanted suppressed. Because at Area 51...

WENDELL: Right, um. Look, do you have a second?

HODGINS: Sure, yeah. Something wrong?

WENDELL: We're friends, right?

HODGINS: Yeah.

WENDELL: I don't lie, or keep things from my friends.

HODGINS: Okay, all right.

WENDELL: Angela and I...

HODGINS: Oh. (laughs) You're kidding, right? Go ahead, kid. Knock yourself out. Hey, good luck with that.

WENDELL: Hodgins, what I'm trying to tell you is that my luck has already been good.

HODGINS: Oh.

WENDELL: I would never want you to think that I...

HODGINS: No, no, Wendell, Wendell, stop, stop, stop. It's been over between Angela and me for a long time. I have moved on. And you know what? I'm happy for you, you know? And for her.

WENDELL: Really?

HODGINS: Yes, really. You're both my friends. Why wouldn't I be happy for you?

WENDELL: I don't... okay. Thanks man.

HODGINS: of course. I'll tell you what, hey, why don't the three of us grab lunch together, huh? This is a good thing Wendell, this should not be weird for us.

WENDELL: Yeah, yeah, sure, lunch. That sounds great man.

HODGINS: Great, good, good.

(Cut to: Booth's car - Interior)

BRENNAN: The stomach acid ate away at the card, but Angela says she should be able to pull something off of it.

BOOTH: Well, Vinton said El Crazerita shot a lot of video. Maybe she filmed the real thing.

BRENNAN: What, an extraterrestrial?

BOOTH: Yeah, look, you said it was possible, all right? But they have big eyes and big heads, you know, for the super smart brain.

BRENNAN: That's far more logical if they had the eyes of flies and the exoskeleton of a cockroach.

BOOTH: Insect people? Insects can't fly a spaceship.

BRENNAN: Well, the cockroach is an evolutionary marvel. They can withstand radiation, live without breathing for almost an hour, go without eating for weeks. Imagine that combined with an intelligence that evolved over many millennia.

BOOTH: Plus, they do have extra arms.

BRENNAN: Hmm.

BOOTH: Mm-hmm.

(Cut to: Space Place Café, Booth and Brennan enter and wander around.)

BOOTH: Wow, would you look at this place? Wow, this is so cool. (reads from pamphlet) 'UFO Museum Research Center.' Check this out. Look at those guns. No way, Bones! Look at this. Rocketship 7. Hey, I used to watch that when I was a little boy. The Sweetlees, and there was Mr. Beeper and Promo the Robot.

BRENNAN: Well, the way this craft is designed, it could never leave the earth's atmosphere.

BOOTH: Yeah, but according to Dave Thomas and Rocketship 7, you would go on adventures like no other.

(Blaine Miller walks up from behind.)

MILLER: You two looking for aliens? The name's Blaine Miller.

BOOTH: Not exactly. (shows FBI badge)

BLAINE: Oh. You hear about that body they found up at Vinton's place?

BRENNAN: We never mentioned a body, Mr. Miller.

MILLER: Nothing travels faster than the speed of light than gossip in a small town.

TOURIST WOMAN: Excuse me, sir? Why are all these radios on?

MILLER: Well, this is some of the original equipment that picked up the signal from the craft that landed right here in Roswell.

TOURIST WOMAN: Dave, these are the radios that heard the aliens! (she leaves)

BRENNAN: But that's absurd, why would she believe you?

MILLER: Because they travel all the way to Roswell to believe in aliens, just like everybody else.

BRENNAN: Do you recognize this woman, Mr. Miller? (shows a picture of the victim)

MILLER: Sure. This is Ursula Lapine. She's a regular. She the one who's dead?

BRENNAN: When was the last time you saw her?

MILLER: Maybe a month ago. She was having an argument with another woman. I had to tell her to keep it down.

BOOTH: And who was this other woman?

MILLER: I don't know. I never saw her before. African-American, good looking. In a suit.

BOOTH: This woman, Ursula, she live around here?

MILLER: Outside of town. She's in one of those shiny, spaceship-type trailers.

TOURIST WOMAN: I think I hear something. I think I hear a spaceship.

BRENNAN: (laughs) Oh. She was serious?

(Cut to: Lapine's Trailer - exterior.)

BOOTH: This must be the space - spacey-looking trailer.

(They approach the trailer.)

BRENNAN: Oh, one of the windows is broken.

BOOTH: All right. Stay behind me, Bones. (pulls out his gun and investigates the trailer.)

(Brennan finds a cinder block in the bushes with blood on it.)

BOOTH: Bones, I think you need to see this.

BRENNAN: And you need to see this. There's blood on it.

BOOTH: Could have been what busted her knees. You gotta check this out.

(Booth and Brennan enter the trailer.)

BRENNAN: She seems very thorough.

BOOTH: Mmm. The word loony come to mind?

BRENNAN: This is a remarkably well-researched wall for a crazerita.

BOOTH: Crazerita is right. What about this here? Look. Check this out.

BRENNAN: Something was taken.

BOOTH: Maybe that's why Ursula was killed.

BRENNAN: Well, this cinder block was obviously used in an assault. We have to analyze the blood.

BOOTH: You know what? Maybe we can pull a print off the block like this... all right, watch this. This... that is magic. (pulls finger prints off the cinder block using pencil, paper and tape)

BRENNAN: Science.

(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office.)

CAM: (enters) Did you have any luck? Was the data damaged?

ANGELA: Uh, a bit. There might be still a few corrupted frames.

CAM: So, it's video.

ANGELA: Yeah, but I think it's gonna play.

(Video starts.)

ANGELA: Oh, my god, is that what I think it is? And are those...

CAM: No. Impossible. This was doctored.

ANGELA: No, it isn't. This was verified by the scanning software at a pixel level

CAM: Are you saying our victim might have stumbled on a real UFO?

Act III (Brennan and Booth at Todd Copps Medical Center, connected via laptop to Angela at Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office.)

ANGELA: So, assuming that the figures in the Hazmat suits are of average height, then the structure here must be about four to five meters tall.

BOOTH: Why is the ground glowing?

ANGELA: Uh, the light seems to be emitting from a spilled liquid.

BOOTH: UFO fuel.

BRENNAN: What are those two humanoid shapes there, between the Hazmat-suited humans and the craft?

ANGELA: Well, look, I'm gonna keep working on this footage, but you guys have to admit that this makes the hairs on your arm stand on end, right?

(Brennan and Booth look at their arms.)

BRENNAN: The hairs on my arm are not reacting in any way. But thanks, Angela. (closes laptop) It's not a spaceship.

BOOTH: Well, if it smells like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...

BRENNAN: But then it would be a duck, not a spaceship, so your point escapes me.

BOOTH: It's just a metaphor.

(Delmy and Bonds enter.)

DELMY: Have you decided to let me go?

BOOTH: No, actually, we have a few more questions. You ever been out to Ursula Lapine's trailer?

DELMY: No.

BRENNAN: Oh, we have evidence that you're lying.

BONDS: Yep, you fell into that one, Delmy.

BRENNAN: We have your fingerprints on a cinder block that was used to break into her trailer. Also, blood.

BOOTH: And you took something off her wall.

DELMY: If I give it to you, will you drop the trespassing charges and let me go?

BONDS: If you don't hand it over, I'll just charge you with obstructing justice, and he'll charge you with interfering with a Federal investigation. Eh, maybe even murder and you will pray for the good old days, where all you were worrying about were those silly little trespassing and burglary charges.

BRENNAN: I find he's very useful in certain situations.

BOOTH: Very useful. So, gonna hand 'em over?

(Delmy takes what was stolen out of her blouse and hands it to Bonds.)

BONDS: Oh. Holy cow. Pay dirt. I gotta get better at friskin'.

DELMY: I'm gonna need a copy for my article. 'UFO-Obsessed Woman Dies in Alien Encounter.'

(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Platform)

HODGINS: So the swab from the victim's damaged patellas show traces of sediment but it's not cement.

CAM: So what hit her knees wasn't cinder block?

HODGINS: No, the sediment is gypsum, dating back to the Pleistocene and Holocene eras. It's probably from the Tularose or Estancia Basins.

CAM: Mexico?

HODGINS: Yeah. Northern Mexico is the closest occurrence of this rock. Here's an interesting conjunction of possibilities: the insecticide that she was soaked in, it's called 'Tres Pasitos.' It's not available in the United States.

CAM: Is it available in Mexico?

HODGINS: (hands Cam a folder) Readily.

CAM: Excellent.

(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office)

ANGELA: So, I took the information that you gave me, and it looks as through the projectiles first impacted next to the juncture between the frontal and parietal bones.

WENDELL: So, the bearings entered beneath her chin, then ricocheted around in her skull?

ANGELA: Yeah, that seems to make the most sense.

WENDELL: But I've never heard of any projectiles that would enter at that range and not fracture the skull.

ANGELA: Well, what about, like, slow moving projectiles? Maybe a paintball gun?

WENDELL: A little more powerful than that, but not much. Time for lunch.

ANGELA: Oh. To prove we're all fine?

WENDELL: Yeah.

(Cut to: Royal Diner - Interior. Hodgins, Angela and Wendell are having lunch. Sweets enters to grab lunch.)

HODGINS: You guys can hold hands, if you want. Eat off each other's plates. I mean, any and all of that kind of gooey romanticism is completely fine by me.

ANGELA: We know, Hodgins.

WENDELL: I'm not really the public display kind of guy.

HODGINS: I'm just saying you don't need to be afraid or...

(Wendell kisses Angela. Sweets notices and stares.)

HODGINS: There. See? My head did not explode.

ANGELA: Um, I'm not really okay with being kissed when it's not about me.

WENDELL: Sorry. Panicked, but everything's fine, right? Everything's fine.

(Sweets approaches.)

SWEETS: Everything's not fine. This is a fraught situation. It's important to face these things head-on.

HODGINS: Sweets, there's nothing to face, okay? I mean, we can see why you'd think that but we're all fine.

ANGELA: I am fine, fine.

WAITRESS: Lance, your order's ready.

SWEETS: Thanks. (Grabs sack of food and leaves.)

(Cut to: Desert in Roswell, New Mexico)

MARVIN: Why are we here?

BRENNAN: We want to know what brought you out here the night you found Ursula's body.

MARVIN: I told you, I was out UFO spotting.

BOOTH: And I told you I don't believe in that big of a coincidence. How long were you and Ursula lovers? (Holds up a picture) Go ahead, take a look.

MARVIN: (looking at the picture) Oh, my god. Ursula understood. She believed. My wife thought I was crazy.

BOOTH: What makes this patch of desert any different to you than any other patch of desert?

MARVIN: This is where we were when we first saw the lights.

BRENNAN: Where did you see the lights?

MARVIN: Beyond those hills. (Points) Hot spheres, very clear. Ursula and I saw them together.

BOOTH: How far?

MARVIN: Maybe two kilometers.

BRENNAN: That would be Mexico.

MARVIN: We were going to check it out together next time I came through town. We'd meet every few weeks.

BOOTH: So you and Ursula were true believers.

MARVIN: Not really. Ursula, she was convinced that if she could find proof of alien visitation, it would make her rich.

BOOTH: What happened to her, Marvin? Really. What do you think?

MARVIN: I think she came out here without me. Maybe she thought I wanted half her money. She maybe saw the lights and crossed over and they took her, experimented on her and then dumped Ursula in the desert like the cold, heartless scientists that they are.

(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office)

ANGELA: So the footage was pretty rough as you saw, so I ran an application to counteract the motion of the camera with opposite movement. Then I translated each pixel of the infrared spectrum into a pixel of the visible color spectrum.

CAM: Okay, let's see it.

(Video plays.)

CAM: Well that's a lot more terrestrial than I expected.

HODGINS: Two tanker trucks, some sort of digger.

CAM: And this is a hose. What do you think, three inches? That's the source of the glowing liquid.

ANGELA: Yeah, but what about the alien things?

HODGINS: Fremontodendron mexicanum. It's Mexican flannelbush.

CAM: Weird, glowing liquid in the Mexico desert. Hazmat suits.

HODGINS: Whoa! They must've been dumping chemicals illegally.

CAM: Oop, she fell. That must've been where she fractured her knees.

HODGINS: Yeah, but she still managed to get away. You guys see what happened? She was out looking for UFOs, but found this instead. These guys killed her.

ANGELA: You know, I think I liked this all better when it was aliens.

Act IV

(Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Hodgin's Office.)

HODGINS: So I was able to clarify the chemiluminescent signature of the materials being dumped in the video. Manganese and sodium borohydride. Used in the manufacture of batteries.

CAM: Can you get a specific manufacturer from that?

HODGINS: I did. Innatron. Mexican flannelbush is on the verge of extinction, right? Innatron has a plant located smack-dab in the middle of the last remaining flannelbush population here in Juarez and they use manganese and sodium borohydride.

CAM: Wow.

HODGINS: Hmm.

(Cam leaves and Hodgins sees Wendell and Angela joking around outside of the office.)

(Cut to: FBI - Sweets' Office. Hodgins walks in.)

SWEETS: Dr. Hodgins, I'm kind of in the middle of...

HODGINS: You were right, Sweets. Everything is not fine. (Sits on the couch and then lays down) It's not fine at all.

SWEETS: This is a good time.

HODGINS: Don't know if I want to crawl into a hole and die or run over Wendell and Angela with a truck.

SWEETS: You know, it's natural to have those feelings.

HODGINS: But I'm a better man than this. I mean, I want to be happy for them. You know, I really do.

SWEETS: Well, it's easier for us to accept loneliness as long as the person we were once with is also alone.

HODGINS: When she finds happiness with someone else, oh, man, it's like being stabbed in the heart.

SWEETS: It's the human condition. You know, it's why there are so many movies and plays and songs and poems.

HODGINS: Yeah, yeah, art, art. (Sits up) I get it. What do I do?

SWEETS: Well, first, you need to figure out what you want.

HODGINS: I want to not be filled with anger and pain and resentment. I don't want to be jealous.

SWEETS: Do you want Angela back? I don't think you're jealous. (Gets up and sits next to Hodgins on the couch.) I think that you're grieving what you've lost.

HODGINS: Grieving? As in grief?

SWEETS: Yes.

HODGINS: Oh, man, the only thing that cures grief is time. Unless you're recommending a lot of alcohol.

SWEETS: I can't really recommend alcohol.

HODGINS: Man, that'd be great if you could, though, right?

SWEETS: I recommend time.

HODGINS: So, just smile and act like a good guy?

SWEETS: You are a good guy.

HODGINS: You know, there was a time that I thought Angela and I would be together forever. Can I just sit here for a minute?

SWEETS: Yeah, take all the time you need. (Pats Hodgins on the shoulder and sits there with him.)

(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office)

CAM: There is nothing in this video that indicates what kind of weapon was used to kill the victim.

ANGELA: Yeah, it's true. It doesn't look like anybody's armed. Now, I was able to salvage some of the audio track.

CAM: That's just white noise.

ANGELA: Yeah, I know, but I scrubbed the background and separated the different frequencies, and then I amplified the resulting file.

VIDEO: Yo estoy encargada. Y si no lo terminas antes del amanecer te arrepentiras.

CAM: That's Spanish.

ANGELA: Yeah, I know. We're gonna have to get a translator.

CAM: No, I was a cop and coroner in New York City, so I speak some. Can you play that back?

ANGELA: Yeah.

VIDEO: Yo estoy encargada. Y si no lo terminas antes del amanecer te arrepentiras.

CAM: "I'm in charge. If you don't get this done before sunrise, you'll regret it."

VIDEO: Yo estoy encargada.

CAM: She's not from Mexico, though.

ANGELA: You can tell that?

CAM: The way she says "estoy" and "arrepentiras." The Puerto Rican cops used to make fun of me when I pronounced my "T"s and "P"s like that.

ANGELA: So you think that...

CAM: Yeah. The speaker is definitely American.

(Cut to: Booth's car - Interior)

BOOTH: Ursula thought she was filming a UFO crash site?

BRENNAN: But she ended up with footage of an American dumping toxic waste in the Mexican desert. (opens a folder) Rachel Adams.

BOOTH: American?

BRENNAN: Yes. She's an Innatron executive, in charge of waste management. She's based in Juarez, Mexico.

BOOTH: African-American.

BRENNAN: Yes.

BOOTH: Well, the other of the diner said that the victim was seen arguing with an African-American businesswoman.

BRENNAN: Huh.

(Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico Legal Lab - Platform)

HODGINS: So we put together a range of weapons which might fire ball bearings at a velocity congruent with the damage done to the inside of our victim's skull.

WENDELL: Okay, we have a paintball gun, an air rifle, a BB gun, and a PVC pipe zip gun.

(They walk into a lab room with the guns pointed at melons with Hodgin's, Wendell's, Angela's and Cam's face on them.)

WENDELL: Each modified to fire six 17.5-millimeter ball bearings. Melons lined with paraffin and filled with dense agar gelatin which mimics skull and brain matter.

CAM: What's with the faces?

HODGINS: Uh, yeah, we, um, well, I guess I kind of got inspired.

CAM: Inspired?

HODGINS: All right, goggles, everyone.

(Wendell and Hodgins start the experiment.)

HODGINS: All right, okay. So the paintball gun bearing didn't have enough force to get through my skull.

ANGELA: That's too bad.

WENDELL: I'm next!

HODGINS: Uh, uh! I'll shoot you. Whoa! That was way too much damage. That blew your head clear off.

CAM: I don't know if anyone should enjoy their work this much.

ANGELA: Mmm.

WENDELL: You and Dr. Saroyan are still in the running.

HODGINS: Oh, I got it.

WENDELL: (examining a melon) Not enough force to kill Dr. Saroyan. Whoa! Angela, the balls are rattling but your head is still intact!

ANGELA: Call that thing by my name one more time. I dare you.

HODGINS: It was a zip gun.

WENDELL: A perfect, untraceable, cheap weapon, easily homemade.

HODGINS: That was fun.

ANGELA: Boys.

CAM: You got that right.

(Cam and Angela leaves. Hodgins laughs and Wendell leaves.)

HODGINS: Wanna do it again?

(Cut to: Innatron HQ in Juarez, Mexico - Exterior)

ADAMS: I have an appointment, Agent Booth. I don't have to answer your questions. We follow all of the rules set forth by the EPA and environmental restrictions in the NAFTA treaty.

BOOTH: Right. On paper.

ADAMS: I resent that.

BOOTH: We have witnesses at Roswell who said that they saw you arguing with the witness on the day that she was murdered.

ADAMS: Did your witness tell you what we were arguing about?

BRENNAN: (pulls out a laptop and plays the video that Angela worked on) You were trying to buy video footage Ursula had taken of you illegally dumping toxic waste.

BOOTH: She thought she had real footage of a UFO, so unfortunately for you, she didn't give it up.

ADAMS: I work for a major corporation that's just signed a billion dollar deal with the Mexicans. You think you can extradite me? Take your best shot.

(Cut to: Booth's car - Interior)

BRENNAN: Here comes something.

BOOTH: What's it say?

BRENNAN: It says that Innatron contracts its waste disposal to an independent contractor.

BOOTH: Is it owned by a shell company?

BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. North Domesticas, yes.

BOOTH: Well, you know, we'll get D. C. on it, but I'm going to tell you right now. I already know who owns that shell company.

BRENNAN: Rachel Adams?

BOOTH: Yep. Innatron pays the shell company hundreds and thousands of dollars to get rid of the waste and Rachel and her crew, they just dump it in the desert and pocket the money.

BRENNAN: Well, Ursula Lapine thinks she's photographing extraterrestrial contact, they catch her, she ends up dead.

BOOTH: Well, why would she turn down the money in the diner and then agree to meet out in the desert?

BRENNAN: Perhaps that's where they agreed to swap the video for the money.

BOOTH: I guess.

BRENNAN: Oh, you say "Yeah, I guess," but you mean, "I don't think so."

BOOTH: Rachel lives in Juarez. I mean, she could get herself an untraceable gun, what, in like 15 minutes? Instead she shows up with a homemade zip gun? That doesn't make sense. Right?

(Brennan calls Hodgins, in his office.)

HODGINS: Hodgins.

BRENNAN: Hodgins...

HODGINS: Oh, hey, Dr. Brennan.

BRENNAN: No, Hodgins, it's not me, it's Booth.

BOOTH: Okay, Hodgins, could we just focus on the ball bearings.

HODGINS: Yeah, what about them?

BOOTH: Could you trace them in Innatron?

HODGINS: No.

BRENNAN: Well, how can you be so sure?

HODGINS: Because they're obsolete. They were manufactured in the '40s and the '50s

BOOTH: For what?

HODGINS: Roller skates, fishing reels, yo-yos, turntables...

BRENNAN: Toys?

(Cut to: Space Place Café, Booth and Brennan walk in with Bonds.)

MILLER: Hey, I'm just closing up. I turned off the grill about a half an hour ago.

BOOTH: Oh, we, uh.

BONDS: No, were not here to eat, Blaine.

BOOTH: Any of these work back here?

MILLER: Yeah. The disruptor there from Gamma-Gamma six.

BRENNAN: Why isn't this solar system working?

MILLER: 'Cause it's sixty years old. What is with you people?

BOOTH: Well, we, uh.

BONDS: You overheard Rachel offering Ursula payoff money, didn't you, Blaine?

MILLER: What? No. I didn't.

BRENNAN: You told us you had to ask them to keep it down.

BOOTH: (to Bonds) How come you don't interrupt Bones?

BONDS: I'm a gentleman.

BOOTH: How much did you...

BONDS: How much did Rachel offer? Ten grand? 20? But Ursula thought that she had proof of alien life. How much did she ask for? A million bucks?

(Brennan takes a knife and starts unscrewing a screw in the solar system model.)

MILLER: Hey, you just can't take stuff like that. You need a warrant.

BOOTH: I'll get a warrant.

BONDS: Oh, no, no, no. We don't need a warrant. We're just playing. Yeah, like the sign says.

(Sign reads: play all you want, but you break it, you buy it.)

BONDS: I figure what happens is you told Ursula you could get her millions.

BOOTH: You arranged to...

BONDS: Yeah, you arranged to meet out in the desert, told her to bring the video, you'd bring the buyer.

BRENNAN: He's trying to take your credit.

BOOTH: Eh, he's just being talkative. Can you hand me those ball bearings there, will you? (puts ball bearings into a toy gun) Look at that, they seem to fit perfectly.

MILLER: Come on, that's just a toy. You couldn't hurt a flea with that.

(Booth aims at the gumball machine and shoots. Gumballs go flying.)

BRENNAN: Yes, that would be the murder weapon.

MILLER: Hey, hey, I got my rights.

BONDS: You got the right to shut the hell up, Blaine. Killing that poor, crazy woman for her video. Yeah, by the way, that video, it was hit down her throat on a thread of dental floss, you moron.

(Bonds takes away Miller in cuffs.)

BRENNAN: He is a moron. You are definitely a moron! Well, not literally, figuratively. It's very satisfying to use an insulting colloquialism even when it isn't accurate.

BOOTH: Right. It's even better when they resist arrest and you get to hit them.

BRENNAN: I don't know.

BOOTH: Yeah, I think so.

(Cut to: Founding Fathers - Interior)

ANGELA: So, do you feel better?

WENDELL: Being open about our relationship? Yeah, yeah, you bet.

ANGELA: You know, it's over between Hodgins and me. I mean, you believe that now, right?

WENDELL: I think everything is always more complicated than it looks.

ANGELA: I am telling you, mister, it's not.

WENDELL: Like Dr. Brennan says, no use jumping to conclusions before all the evidence is in.

(They kiss. Hodgins is walking outside and he sees them at the bar together.)

(Cut to: Roswell, New Mexico. Booth and Brennan are sitting on top of the car, looking up at the night sky.)

BOOTH: Quite a show, huh?

BRENNAN: Shouldn't we get going home?

BOOTH: Come on, Bones, how many times do you get a chance to check out a desert sky?

BRENNAN: I've been in the desert many times. Though, usually I'm digging in the ground, not looking up.

BOOTH: now's your chance to look up. So, look up.

BRENNAN: it's ridiculous to think there's anything on this planet worth seeing which merits crossing what are literally astronomical distances.

BOOTH: Many aliens are anthropologists? Maybe they just wanna study our religion and s*x and love and our funny languages and line dancing?

BRENNAN: That's an interesting possibility I hadn't considered.

BOOTH: Well, living creatures, they like to reach out, Bones.

BRENNAN: Living creatures like to reach out and eat each other.

BOOTH: Oh. So, what are you saying, that the aliens just wanna come down here and drink our spinal fluid?

BRENNAN: Well, if the aliens are advanced enough to fly faster than light, then they can probably make spinal fluid.

BOOTH: Oh, you just said that aliens are nice.

BRENNAN: I did not.

BOOTH: You just basically said that aliens are nice anthropologists.

BRENNAN: I don't think so.

BOOTH: You think the aliens are you.

BRENNAN: (laughs) You got me. You know, I'm one of them.

BOOTH: I knew it.

BRENNAN: I was sent down as an advance scout.

BOOTH: I knew it! No probing. No probing!

BRENNAN: Hey, probing is a valuable way to gather information.

BOOTH: We know how you people like to probe. Did you hear that?

BRENNAN: What was it?

END.

End.