A Close Shave/A Close Shave for Duck

Ringo Starr UK Version:

 * Ringo Starr: Duck the Great Western engine puffed sadly to Edward’s station.
 * Duck: It’s not fair.
 * Ringo Starr: He complained.
 * Duck: Diesel has been telling lies about me and made the Fat Controller and all the engines think I’m horrid.
 * Ringo Starr: Edward smiled.
 * Edward: I know you aren’t, and so does the Fat Controller. You wait and see. Why don’t you help me with these trucks?
 * Ringo Starr: Duck felt happier with Edward and set to work at once. The trucks were silly, heavy and noisy. The two engines had to work hard, pushing and pulling all afternoon. At last they reached the top of the hill.
 * Duck: Goodbye!
 * Ringo Starr: Whistled Duck, and rolled gently over the crossing to the other line. Duck loved coasting down the hill, running easily with the wind whistling past. Suddenly… it was a Guard’s warning whistle.
 * Trucks: Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
 * Ringo Starr: Laughed the trucks.
 * Trucks: We’ve broken away! We’ve broken away! Chase him! Bump him! Throw him off the rails!
 * Ringo Starr: They yelled.
 * Duck’s Driver: Hurry, Duck, hurry.
 * Ringo Starr: Said the Driver. They raced through Edward’s station, but the trucks were catching up.
 * Duck’s Driver: As fast as we can, then they’ll catch us gradually.
 * Ringo Starr: The Driver was gaining control.
 * Duck’s Driver: Another clear mile and we’ll do it. Oh Glory! Look at that!
 * Ringo Starr: James was just pulling out on their line, from the station ahead. Any minute there could be a crash!
 * Duck’s Driver: It’s up to you now, Duck.
 * Ringo Starr: Cried the Driver. Duck put every ounce of weight and steam against the trucks.
 * Duck: It’s too late.
 * Ringo Starr: Duck groaned, and shut his eyes. He veered into a siding where a barber had set up shop. He was shaving a customer.
 * (Duck crashes into the barbershop, causing part of the wall to cave in.)
 * Ringo Starr: The silly trucks had knocked their Guard off his van and left him far behind after he had whistled a warning. But the trucks didn’t care – they were feeling very pleased with themselves.
 * Duck: Beg pardon Sir!
 * Ringo Starr: Gasped Duck.
 * Duck: Excuse my intrusion.
 * Barber: No. I won’t
 * Ringo Starr: Said the barber.
 * Barber: You’ve frightened my customers. I’ll teach you.
 * Ringo Starr: And he lathered Duck’s face all over. Poor Duck. Thomas was helping to pull the trucks away when the Fat Controller arrived.
 * Barber: I do not like engines popping through my walls.
 * Ringo Starr: Fumed the barber.
 * The Fat Controller: I appreciate your feelings.
 * Ringo Starr: Said the Fat Controller.
 * The Fat Controller: But you must know that this engine and his crew have prevented a serious accident. It was a very close – um – shave.
 * Barber: Oh!
 * Ringo Starr: Said the barber.
 * Barber: Oh! Excuse me.
 * Ringo Starr: He filled a basin of water to wash Duck’s face.
 * Barber: I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were being a brave engine.
 * Duck: That’s all right, Sir. I didn’t know that either.
 * The Fat Controller: You were very brave indeed.
 * Ringo Starr: Said the Fat Controller.
 * The Fat Controller: I’m proud of you.
 * Ringo Starr: The Fat Controller watched the rescue operation. Then he had more news for Duck.
 * The Fat Controller: And when you are properly washed and mended you are coming home.
 * Duck: Home Sir? Do you mean the Yard?
 * The Fat Controller: Of course.
 * Duck: But Sir, they don’t like me. They like Diesel.
 * The Fat Controller: Not now. I never believed Diesel; so I sent him packing. The engines are sorry and want you back.
 * Ringo Starr: A few days later, when he came home, there was a really rousing welcome for Duck the Great Western engine.

Ringo Starr US Version:

 * Ringo Starr: Duck the Great Western engine puffed sadly to Edward’s station.
 * Duck: It’s not fair.
 * Ringo Starr: He complained.
 * Duck: Diesel has been telling lies about me and made Sir Topham Hatt and all the engines think I’m horrid.
 * Ringo Starr: Edward smiled.
 * Edward: I know you aren’t, and so does Sir Topham Hatt. You wait and see. Why don’t you help me with these cars?
 * Ringo Starr: Duck felt happier with Edward and set to work at once. The cars were silly, heavy and noisy. The two engines had to work hard, pushing and pulling all afternoon. At last they reached the top of the hill.
 * Duck: Goodbye!
 * Ringo Starr: Whistled Duck, and rolled gently over the crossing to the other line. Duck loved coasting down the hill, running easily with the wind whistling past. Suddenly… it was a Conductor’s warning whistle.
 * Freight Cars: Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
 * Ringo Starr: Laughed the cars.
 * Freight Cars: We’ve broken away! We’ve broken away! Chase him! Bump him! Throw him off the rails!
 * Ringo Starr: They yelled.
 * Duck’s Driver: Hurry, Duck, hurry.
 * Ringo Starr: Said the Driver. They raced through Edward’s station, but the cars were catching up.
 * Duck’s Driver: As fast as we can, then they’ll catch us gradually.
 * Ringo Starr: The Driver was gaining control.
 * Duck’s Driver: Another clear mile and we’ll do it. Oh Glory! Look at that!
 * Ringo Starr: James was just pulling out on their line, from the station ahead. Any minute there could be a crash!
 * Duck’s Driver: It’s up to you now, Duck.
 * Ringo Starr: Cried the Driver. Duck put every ounce of weight and steam against the cars.
 * Duck: It’s too late.
 * Ringo Starr: Duck groaned, and shut his eyes. He veered into a siding where a barber had set up shop. He was shaving a customer.
 * (Duck crashes into the barbershop, causing part of the wall to cave in.)
 * Ringo Starr: The silly cars had knocked their Conductor off his van and left him far behind after he had whistled a warning. But the cars didn’t care – they were feeling very pleased with themselves.
 * Duck: Beg pardon Sir!
 * Ringo Starr: Gasped Duck.
 * Duck: Excuse my intrusion.
 * Barber: No. I won’t
 * Ringo Starr: Said the barber.
 * Barber: You’ve frightened my customers. I’ll teach you.
 * Ringo Starr: And he lathered Duck’s face all over. Poor Duck. Thomas was helping to pull the cars away when Sir Topham Hatt arrived.
 * Barber: I do not like engines popping through my walls.
 * Ringo Starr: Fumed the barber.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I appreciate your feelings.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: But you must know that this engine and his crew have prevented a serious accident. It was a very close – um – shave.
 * Barber: Oh!
 * Ringo Starr: Said the barber.
 * Barber: Oh! Excuse me.
 * Ringo Starr: He filled a basin of water to wash Duck’s face.
 * Barber: I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were being a brave engine.
 * Duck: That’s all right, Sir. I didn’t know that either.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: You were very brave indeed.
 * Ringo Starr: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I’m proud of you.
 * Ringo Starr: Sir Topham Hatt watched the rescue operation. Then he had more news for Duck.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: And when you are properly washed and mended you are coming home.
 * Duck: Home Sir? Do you mean the Yard?
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Of course.
 * Duck: But Sir, they don’t like me. They like Diesel.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Not now. I never believed Diesel; so I sent him packing. The engines are sorry and want you back.
 * Ringo Starr: A few days later, when he came home, there was a really rousing welcome for Duck the Great Western engine.

George Carlin US Version:

 * George Carlin: Duck the Great Western engine puffed sadly to Edward’s station.
 * Duck: It’s not fair.
 * George Carlin: He complained.
 * Duck: Diesel has been telling lies about me and made Sir Topham Hatt and all the engines think I’m horrid.
 * George Carlin: Edward smiled.
 * Edward: I know you aren’t, and so does Sir Topham Hatt. You wait and see. Why don’t you help me with these cars?
 * George Carlin: Duck felt happier with Edward and set to work at once. The cars were silly, heavy and noisy. The two engines had to work hard, pushing and pulling all afternoon. At last they reached the top of the hill.
 * Duck: Goodbye!
 * George Carlin: Whistled Duck, and rolled gently over the crossing to the other line. Duck loved coasting down the hill, running easily with the wind whistling past. Suddenly… it was a Conductor’s warning whistle.
 * Freight Cars: Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
 * George Carlin: Laughed the cars.
 * Freight Cars: We’ve broken away! We’ve broken away! Chase him! Bump him! Throw him off the rails!
 * George Carlin: They yelled.
 * Duck’s Driver: Hurry, Duck, hurry.
 * George Carlin: Said the Driver. They raced through Edward’s station, but the cars were catching up.
 * Duck’s Driver: As fast as we can, then they’ll catch us gradually.
 * George Carlin: The Driver was gaining control.
 * Duck’s Driver: Another clear mile and we’ll do it. Oh Glory! Look at that!
 * George Carlin: James was just pulling out on their line, from the station ahead. Any minute there could be a crash!
 * Duck’s Driver: It’s up to you now, Duck.
 * George Carlin: Cried the Driver. Duck put every ounce of weight and steam against the cars.
 * Duck: It’s too late.
 * George Carlin: Duck groaned. He veered into a siding where a barber had set up shop. He was shaving a customer.
 * (Duck crashes into the barbershop, causing part of the wall to cave in.)
 * George Carlin: The silly cars had knocked their Conductor off his van and left him far behind after he had whistled a warning. But the cars didn’t care – they were feeling very pleased with themselves.
 * Duck: Beg pardon Sir!
 * George Carlin: Gasped Duck.
 * Duck: Excuse my intrusion.
 * Barber: No. I won’t
 * George Carlin: Said the barber.
 * Barber: You’ve frightened my customers. I’ll teach you.
 * George Carlin: And he lathered Duck’s face all over. Poor Duck. Thomas was helping to pull the cars away when Sir Topham Hatt arrived.
 * Barber: I do not like engines popping through my walls.
 * George Carlin: Fumed the barber.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I appreciate your feelings.
 * George Carlin: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: But you must know that this engine and his crew have prevented a serious accident. It was a very close shave.
 * Barber: Oh!
 * George Carlin: Said the barber.
 * Barber: Oh! Excuse me.
 * George Carlin: He filled a basin of water to wash Duck’s face.
 * Barber: I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were being a brave engine.
 * Duck: That’s all right, Sir. I didn’t know that either.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: You were very brave indeed.
 * George Carlin: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I’m proud of you.
 * George Carlin: Sir Topham Hatt watched the rescue operation. Then he had more news for Duck.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: And when you're properly washed and mended you are coming home.
 * Duck: Home Sir? Do you mean the Yard?
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Of course.
 * Duck: But Sir, they don’t like me. They like Diesel.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Not now. I never believed Diesel; so I sent him packing. The engines are sorry and want you back.
 * George Carlin: A few days later, when he came home, there was a really rousing welcome for Duck the Great Western engine.