Your Highness


 * [first lines]
 * Narrator: [voice over] Prepare thyself for a twisted tale. Through the chapters of time, legends have been told of brave knights, evil warlocks, beautiful maidens, magical prophecies…and other serious shit.
 * [with a hanging rope around his neck]
 * Thadeous: Oh, fuck me!
 * [a dwarf executioner is standing beside Thadeous reading from a scroll]
 * Dwarf Executioner: Prince Thadeous of Thorn, you are hereby sentenced to death by hanging for your elicit behavior with the noble Dwarf King’s second wife, Regina.
 * Dwarf King: You’re a disgrace to any kingdom! I say, hang you bastard!
 * [the crowd shout in anger for Thadeous to be executed]
 * Dwarf Executioner: And your minstrel, Courtney is to be tarred and feathered, for unlawful association with a deviant.
 * [we see Courtney being tarred and feathered]
 * Courtney: I’m allergic. Please! Let’s not!
 * Thadeous: Please! These allegations are being greatly exaggerated! It was more or less just heavy petting, with a brief moment of penetration!
 * King Tallious: Please tell me that you completed your simple task and secured the treaty, signed by the lord of the dwarf boons.
 * Thadeous: Father, they sent a beautiful woman to distract me! I was defenseless!
 * King Tallious: Don’t bandy words with me, Thadeous. Your brother is to return from his quest at any moment. Please go and bathe yourself.
 * Thadeous: Why must I bathe just because Fabious…?
 * King Tallious: Because you smell like the underside of a sheep’s scrotum! Oh, if your mother could see you now.