Angela's Men

(THEME SONG PLAYING) (KNOCK ON DOOR) It is adorable how he's stalking you. Yeah, it is. Go away! (KNOCKING) SHAWN: Milkman! There are no milkmen anymore! Cow! You guys, you can't leave him out there, Angela. I'm gonna leave him out there, then I'm gonna kick his butt into the elevator. Hi! I'm not here for you, so cool your jets. I'm only here to support my buddy when he gets killed. Go ahead, Shawn. Get killed, and let's get outta here. Whoa, whoa. Angela, Angela. Can I just tell you one thing? Fine. You can say whatever you want as long as it doesn't contain the words "I," "love," or "you. " I "lover" you, too. That's so sw Whoa! You think I'm goin' away? I'm not goin' away. I live in your doorway now. You hear that? I live here. You do have to admire his persistence. Yeah, well, he learned from the master. (KNOCKING) Hey! Can't take no for an answer? If I say I don't want to see you, then I don't want to see you! You got that? Why is this boy lying in your doorway? Ahhh! Daddy! (LAUGHING) Hi. So are you going to invite me in, or do I keep standing on this human doormat? Yeah, that about explains the relationship. What are you? Boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. Do you see how she treats me, my girlfriend's father? Girlfriend's father, sir. Why? Because your girlfriend's father happens to be a master sergeant in the United States Army, who's here to recruit slackers like you to this university's ROTC program! Oh, and I thought you came here to see me. Oh Well I Uh Welcome to the Angela doghouse Sir. Permission to get up? Permission denied, punk who broke my baby's heart. (LAUGHING) That's not the whole story, there, sir. You just give me lip, boy? SHAWN: Wasn't me. That was Cory Matthews! CORY: How you doin', sir? SHAWN: Run! Just run! (FOOTSTEPS) Well, mostly I'm here to see you. You know what, I don't care why you're here. I am so glad. Good. Now, what's the story with the boy-mat? Story's over. Yeah? Because he doesn't seem to know that. Well, you know, that's his problem, not mine. In other words, you don't want to talk about it. Have you met my friends, Topanga and Rachel? Good to meet both of you. You know, the ROTC program is also for women. Stop selling. So, is Mrs. Moore in the Army, too? Is she in the Army? TOPANGA: Rachel I haven't heard Angela talk about her mom very much. Is she in the ROTC? By the way, what does ROTC stand for? It stands for, "Rachel ought to chill. " RACHEL: Oh, uh I'm sorry. No, it's okay. Angela's mother and I are no longer together. I don't want to talk about it. Angela I don't want to talk about it because of Topanga. My parents are going through the same thing. Oh. I'm sorry. So am I. Well, you know, I'm gonna help you get over it. And I'm gonna help you get over Shawn. And I'm gonna help you get over Cory. She beat me up, Jack. Let it go, Eric. How can I let it go when it haunts my very thought? No! No! Eric Matthews will not be beaten up by a woman Not yet. You gotta get over this, man. Yeah, I'll get over it. I'll get over it when I have my revenge, and I will have my revenge. Topanga, Eric is still staring at you. May I have your attention, please. It gives me great pleasure to present Master Sergeant Alvin Moore, who's here to talk about today's Army. Having personally served my country in the Navy England doesn't have a Navy, you liar! I don't know what we're doing here, anyway. None of us are gonna join the ROTC. What could this guy possibly say that would interest us? Anybody here unhappy with the way their life is going? I don't know, but I've been told I don't know, but I've been told Where the hell is everybody? Where the hell is everybody? Stop it. Stop it You trying to be cute with me, boy? Maybe. Hey! Where have you been? We went to Burgers and Such. We got you a burger, a fish fillet, and a finger puppet. (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) I'm the sergeant of the whole Army. Oh, look at you. Look Ow! Ow, ow, ow! What are you trying to prove, Hunter? Everybody else quit. One of your buddies is surrendering in the garbage can. You know, you're the one that dropped my daughter. Why are you working so hard to impress me? Why don't you impress your own father? My father's dead, sir! Well, impress your mother, then. My mother's gone, too, sir! Both your parents died, boy? My mother abandoned us, sir! What? Two times! Your mother walked out on your family? Yes, sir! She had some issues, sir! Relax, kid. We're just talking. (PANTING) It really tore my father up. We never really recovered. I haven't trusted a relationship since then Until Angela, sir. But she doesn't seem to like you, son. Oh, she loves me, sir. Daddy, you were supposed to pick me up a half hour ago. We're late for dinner. Well, I had no idea that one of these young men would actually last this long. (YELLING) Hi, Angela! (GROANING) You can't get to me through him, Shawn. What? I don't care if you impress my father. I don't care if he ends up liking you. It doesn't change how I feel. I know how you feel, Angela. He says that you love him. Well, I don't. What? I don't love you. I am extremely uncomfortable. Yes, you do. I know you do. The only thing I don't know is why you stop yourself. I don't love you. I can't love you. Why not? They should lock him up. What are you doin'? I joined the Army. What? Did you do this for me? Okay, there, Shawnie. The plan backfired. Can you take off the uniform now? Look, I don't have Angela anymore, I don't have a family at all. I've got nothing, really. This is the best thing for me. Shawn, you're my best friend, so I'm gonna support you. If you want me to join, I will run out right now and sign up and go where you're going and fight right beside you, you and me, Cory and Shawn. Let's go! Let's get on the tank! Please, don't make me go, because the noises, they scare me so much. Cory, you don't have to join. Are you sure? Because I am a fighting machine! Well, on second thought No! I don't want to go. I have received the following resignations from the ROTC class. Let me see if I've got this right, uh, everybody. (ALL CHEERING) Well, I hope some of you learned a little something from the course. Sneak-attack! I learned how to sneak-attack. (SHUSHING) I learned that when a girl beats you up, and I'm not gonna use any names, Opanga-Tay. That's code. That's code. (SHUSHING) I learned that you never let that girl know exactly when you're gonna sneak-attack her. (GIGGLING) I'm gonna get you! Tomorrow at 3:00, I'm gonna sneak-attack you! Matthews! Sir, yes sir! You are a disgrace to this university, to this country, and humanity in general! (LAUGHING) Wow. Drop and give me 20! Fine. Dude, you better pay me back. I'm telling you, a padded cell so he can't hurt himself Excuse me, gentlemen. May I join you? Sergeant Moore, please, sit down. So Where's your friend? I think Shawn needed some time alone. He's got a lot on his mind. Angela and Shawn have a volatile relationship, don't they? I'm not sure they have much of a relationship anymore, sir. And why do you suppose that is? I'll tell you why. It's because of that Topanga! Don't you worry about Topanga. She's nuts about me, sir. But ever since her parents split up, she's been, how can I put this gently? A horror! And for some reason, your Angela finds this freak show attractive. It's hard to come in the middle of the game and understand anything, isn't it? Trust me, it's worse when you're here all the time. So, fill me in on this Shawn Hunter, will you, Mr. Feeny? Well, I have seen Shawn overcome every obstacle that life has thrown at him, and grow up to be one of the finest young men that I know. What about me? Tell him how much you like me. Shawn is a deeply sensitive and caring individual. And I've never seen him as happy as when he's in the company of your daughter. And I always thought that Angela felt the same way. So they were real close. Until she ran away. And do you know why she ran away? Yeah, I think I do. Topanga! She's poison. But don't hate her, sir. She's my problem. I love her so much, but poison she is! Under no circumstances, however, let your daughter go anywhere near him. I begged you. I begged you to seek help. (LAUGHS EVILLY) Oh, this is gonna be so sweet. Bye-bye, Topanga. You know what? Topanga is too smart for you. Anyone is. Stay out of this, Jack. This is a one-man mission. Will you help me? No. Fine. I'll do this myself. You have a very large head. I don't know why I married you. Hey! Good afternoon. I want you to open your books and read quietly. Uncle Feeny has had a very trying day already, and I want 40 minutes of tranquility, starting now. (SCREAMING) (WEAKLY) Help. I quit. I just do. Well, I think we did a great job redecorating. I know. It's finally starting to feel like our place. Yeah, just the three of us. Three women together. (DOOR BUZZING) Will you stop bothering my father? I asked him to come here, Angela. Why? Because I'm leaving, and I wanted to say goodbye, and I wanted to know that you're all right. I'm better than all right. I'm in my new apartment with my friends, looking forward to the next part of my life. That's right, Sergeant Moore. Three women together. Dismissed! Yes, sir. Gone, sir. Well, he must have done some job on you, huh? What do you mean? I mean, I didn't think you were that impressionable, Dad. He was never trying to impress me, Angela. He was trying to impress you. He's just trying to get you to like him. I already like him, and he knows that because I told him so. Well, I hope you two will be very happy together in the Army. I'm not going into the Army. Why not? Because I like him, but I like my country more, and I don't want this boy anywhere near the Army. But I do want him near you. Angela, I had nothing to do with this. Honey, we need to talk About your mother. No. Angela No. I am not 12 years old. You're not gonna tell me we're gonna talk about it, if I don't want to talk about it in front of Shawn. Angela I understand. (SIGHS) I understand about your mother and I understand why you're afraid of our relationship. No, there is no relationship. Look, you don't know what you're talking about. Hey. He told me, okay? Oh, no. How could you do that? How could you have not told me? That my mother walked out on me just like your mother walked out on you? Yes. Don't you think I would have understood? Don't you think that that would have brought us closer together? Yes. I don't want to be closer together. Why not? Yeah, why not? Because I don't want to hurt you. What are you talking about? You're already killing me. How are you gonna hurt me more if you love me? I can't love you. Why not? (CRYING) Because Because why? Because I'll leave you! No No. Do not surrender to this. I did not raise a daughter to surrender. You are not your mother. You're you. The difference between your mother and you is that she was not in love, and you are. Oh, Daddy, I'm so sorry. It's okay. I'm okay. This is about you. I just want you to be happy, but how can you ever be happy if you're afraid to tell the man you love that you love him? I love you. I love you so much! I just don't want to hurt you anymore. I love you, too. I always have. You take care of my daughter, young man. Sir Yes, sir. Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, baby. RACHEL: One down. What's that supposed to mean? Oh, I don't know. Love is in the air. It won't be long before Cory finds out they're together. (KNOCKING) I wonder who that could be. (RAPID KNOCKING) Well, good night. Mmm. Good night. He's never leaving, is he? Never. I'm only asking because it is 3:00 in the morning, and you're crushing Eric. (LAUGHING) (ALL LAUGHING) I'm only asking because it's three (GIGGLING) How did you know? (GIGGLING) Oh, I so nailed it! I would have gotten you if it wasn't for (SNICKERS) I would have gotten you if it wasn't for Them. (SNICKERS) Take it from that line. (LAUGHING) Which line? We gonna do it line by line? (LAUGHING) Yes, we have to. You're crushing Eric. You gotta get off me!