It's a Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud House

[Lincoln is looking around and sneaking about in the living room and leaps onto the sofa] Lincoln: "Money. In the Loud House, there just isn't a lot of it to go around." [searches between the cushions and gets wads of chewed gum on his fingers] "Ew!" [shakes it off and pulls out a pair of dirty underwear and tosses it] "Grody! Which is why, if you happen to find some, even the smallest amount...you gotta keep it to yourself." [finds a quarter] "Jackpot!" [kisses it]

[Just then, his sisters happen to come across him and his coin] Lola: "We heard money! A dime! No, a quarter!" Lincoln: "That's impossible. Money doesn't make a sound." Luan: "Haven't you ever heard the expression "Money talks" [laughs at rimshot] Luna: "And that quarter is saying, "Hand me over, bro!" Lana: "It's mine!" Leni: "Guys, let's just split it 40/40!" Lincoln: "No! None of you are getting it! I found it in the couch fair and square!" Lynn: "Wait a second! If there was one quarter down there, then maybe there's more!" ''[The girls all then pounce on Lincoln and fight over the quarter and the possibility of more under the sofa while Cliff runs off from the fight. Enter their parents]'' Rita: "What are they fighting over this time? A nickel under the ottoman?" Lynn Sr.: "Nope. A quarter down the sofa." Rita: "We better stop them before they start biting." [Lola bites Lincoln] Lincoln: "Ow! Lola!" Lynn Sr.: "Too late." [whistles and gets them to stop] "ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY GET UPSTAIRS AND CLEAN THE ATTIC! That's punishment for fighting over money!" [The kids all groan and acquiesce] Luan: "That punishment makes no cents." [laughs to rimshot] Lynn Sr.: "Upstairs!" [to Rita] "But that was a good one."

[The attic] Lynn Sr.: "AND I WANT THAT WHOLE ATTIC SPARKLING! EVEN THE BACK CORNER!" [The kids look on to see the horror that is the back corner] Lucy: "But the back corner was my secret dark place." Lola: "It's Lincoln's fault we're up here, so he can do it!" Lynn Sr.: "AND WATCH OUT FOR THAT LOOSE FLOORBOARD!" Lincoln: "What loose floorboard?" [steps on it and gets hit in the face by it] "Stupid loose floorboard..." [puts it back and notices an envelope] "Hey, what's this?" [opens it up and finds a letter] "Dear Future Residents of 1216 Franklin Avenue, my family always fought over money, so I decided to leave my fortune for you in the hope that you will share it. For a clue on where the money is hidden, reflect upon what I said here. Signed, Mrs. Sharon DeMonet, the original owner. Lincoln: [gasps] "Hey, guys! Check it out! I found this letter from the original owner! She says she's hidden money in the house!" Lori: [disbelieving] "Yeah, right, Lincoln. Quit stalling. You're not getting out of cleaning the attic." Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, and Lisa: "YEAH!!!" Lincoln: "Fine! I'll just do it by myself, and when I do, it'll be all mine." [steps on and gets hit by the loose floorboard again] [When Lincoln comes to, he sees that his sisters are gone] Lincoln: "Where'd everybody go?"

[Lisa is using a metal detector in the hall] Lincoln: "Lisa? What are you doing?" Lisa: "Uh...just calibrating my dumb human detector." [uses it on Lincoln] "Calibrated." [awkwardly leaves] Lynn: [holding Lucy inside the laundry chute] "Lucy...see anything?" Lincoln: "Lynn! What are you doing?" [Lincoln's question causes Lynn to drop Lucy down the chute and scream and land with a thud] Lynn: [nervously] "Who? Me? No no. Just putting laundry down the chute." Lincoln: [suspicious] "Laundry doesn't scream and go thud." Lynn: [threateningly] "No, but nosy brothers do." Lincoln: [backing away scared] "Okay. Okay." Lynn: [opens the chute] "SORRY, LUCE!" Lucy: "That's okay! I found a new secret dark place!" [Lincoln goes downstairs and sees Lola pacing about] Lincoln: [suspiciously] "Looking for something, Lola?" Lola: "No. I'm just...practicing for the...uh..." [grabs a chimney sweep] "...Little Miss Chimney Sweep Pageant." [grins nervous] [Lincoln leaves and Lana pops out of the chimney covered in soot] Lana: "There's nothing up there." Lola: "There's gotta be! Now keep looking!" [pushes Lana back up with the sweep] Luan: [down in the basement] "Hand me the flashlight." ''[Lincoln overhears it. Luna and Luan are down in the basement checking the furnace and Lincoln comes down to check on this]'' Luna: "Quick! Hide!" [shoves Luan in the furnace] Luan: [inside] "Okay." [Luna stands by whistling as Lincoln approaches] Lincoln: "What are you up to?" Luna: "Just...um..." [busts out some repair tools] "...practicing my drums?" [bangs on the furnace] Luan: [dazed from Luan's racket] "Can someone answer the ringing in my head?" [groans and faints] [Meanwhile, in the crawlspace] Lori: "Gross! What is this?" Leni: "Get off my pumps!" Lori: "I'm gonna pump your face if you don't move faster!" Leni: "Let's just get this over with." Lori: "Ugh! Why didn't Mrs. DeMonet just tell us where the money is?" Leni: "I don't know. Let's ask her." [shines the flashlight on a skeleton] [They scream in horror] Lori: [calmly] "Wait. That's just a leftover Halloween decoration." [Enter Lincoln] Lincoln: "Hey! What are you two doing?" Lori: "Uh...we're just dusting!" [dusts with Leni's arm] Leni: "Wait. I thought we were looking for the money." Lincoln: "I KNEW IT!"

[Everyone has grouped together in the living room] Lincoln: "Okay, you're all looking for the money, aren't you?" Leni: "Obviously! Lynn: "Uh, duh!" Luna: "Heck, yes, we are!" Luan: "Where'd you find your first clue, Sherlock?" Lincoln: "You guys didn't even believe the money existed! I'm the one who should get it!" Lori: "Forget that! I'm finding it for myself!" Leni: "Not if I find it first!" Luna: "Yeah, dream on!" Lana: "It's mine!" [They all start fighting again and pull Lincoln into the fray. Enter Lynn Sr. who whistles to get them to stop once more] Lynn Sr.: "Obviously, you haven't learned your lesson. Back to the attic!"

[The kids resume cleaning the attic and Lincoln secretly takes another look at the letter] Lincoln: "The answer must be in here somewhere. I know it. "Reflect upon what I said here." What could that mean?" [looks in the mirror to find another piece of paper in the rafter and facepalms for not realizing sooner] "Reflect! Duh!" [casually walks over] "I'm just gonna be over here...cleaning the, uh...the dirty thing..." [gets on a stack of boxes and grabs the paper] Lucy: "What's that?!" Lincoln: [startled] "Ah! Nothing!" Lynn: [finds out] "Lincoln found another letter!" [Lincoln takes to the rafters and his sisters are ready to clobber him if he doesn't read it] Sisters: "READ IT!" Lincoln: "Okay, okay! Calm down!" [opens it and reads] "Well done. You've found the next clue. But beware. If you fight like my family did, you'll never get to the bottom of the matter. Lincoln: "You guys, maybe we should listen to her and stop fighting." Lori: [suspiciously backing away] "Yeah...Lincoln's right...as soon as we're done cleaning here, we should totally work together to find the money." [leaves] Lola: "Hey! Lori's going after the money!" [The girls all follow suit] Lincoln: "Wait!" [goes after them but steps on and gets whack by the loose floorboard yet again] [When Lincoln comes to, he sees the mayhem that his sisters are causing to one another in search of the fortune] Lincoln: "Guys, the letter! Remember what Sharon DeMonet said!" Lola: "Forget Sharon DeMonet! It's every man for himself!" [Lincoln gives up and decides to join the battle. Lana is waving a dollar in front of Charles] Lana: "Smell the money, boy!" [Charles sniffs it] "Now go find more!" [Charles eats her dollar] "Hey! Spit it out, Charles! So help me, I will get that dollar back even if I have to wait for it to come out the other end!" [chases after the dog] Lucy: [performing a seance] "I summon you from the great beyond...Mrs. Sharon DeMonet! Tell me where your fortune is. Speak to me, oh, spirit." [losing patience] "Come on, lady! Just tell me where the dough is!" Lincoln: "What did Sharon say?" Lynn: [with a Tennis ball dispenser] "SHARON SAID TO GET OUT OF OUR ROOM!!!" [fires Tennis balls at Lincoln] [Lincoln ducks and makes Lucy take the blow and escapes. Luna and Luan are checking every square inch of their room.] Luan: "Hey, look!" [pulls out a half-eaten sandwich from her wastebasket] "I found the bread!" [laughs] "And the cheddar, and the lettuce, and the clams. Ew! No wonder someone threw this out." Lincoln: "Hey, what-" [Luna busts out one of her amps] Luna: "STAY OUT! THIS IS OUR TURF!" [blasts Lincoln with a killer wail] Lana: [still chasing Charles into her room] "HEY! GET BACK HERE! THAT'S MY DOLLAR!" Lincoln: "Have you found it?" [Lola comes in in her princess car and rams Lincoln to the side and blocks the door] Lola: "OH, NO, YOU DON'T! SEARCH YOUR OWN ROOM!" Lincoln: "Duh. Why didn't I think of that?" [searches every nook and cranny in his room to no avail] "WHERE ARE YOU?!" [His sisters burst in ready to search his room] Lincoln: [fending them off like a lion tamer] "BACK! BACK, YOU ANIMALS!" Leni: [off-screen] "I FOUND IT!" Sisters: "YOU FOUND THE MONEY?!" Leni: "No! My missing floral pump!" Siblings: "Aww!" Lola: "The money's not up here! Maybe it's downstairs!" [They all rush downstairs and search the kitchen with no luck] Lola: "The dining room!" [They search there and still can't find it] Luna: "The living room!" [Once again, no sign of the money] Luan: "Lily's room!" [Upon arriving there, they notice Lily is taking her nap. To avoid waking her up, they mute out the ruckus caused by their search] Lori: "We've literally searched the whole house, and nothing!" Leni: "Hello! My floral pump is not nothing." Luna: "Maybe we missed something in the letter!" [The girls all glare at Lincoln who knows where this is going. They all start fighting over the letter and tear it apart] Lola: "Look what you did!" Lana: "You're the one who ripped it!" Luna: "Dude, how are we gonna find the money now?" Lincoln: "We're not." Lana: "Why?" Luan: "What are you talking about?" Lincoln: "'Cause all we did was fight over it. And this is exactly what Sharon DeMonet warned us about." [his sisters start to look regretful] "How about this? From now on, whenever we find money, whether it's a hidden fortune or even this quarter..." [takes out the quarter] "...we all share it equally." Lisa: "Okay." Luan: "Sure." Lori: "Sounds good." Luna: "Yeah, I kinda like that." Lana: "I'll even share the dollar I got back from Charles." [shows them the dollar now covered in Charles' feces] Lincoln: [thoroughly disgusted] "Let's not..." [The others agree and Lily comes crawling out from her nap] Lori: [picks Lily up] "Aw...we're sorry, Lily. Did your noisy sisters and brother wake you?" [makes cute faces to Lily] [Something is attached to Lily's butt] Lynn: "Hey. What's that stuck on Lily's bottom?" [Lincoln takes it and unfolds it] Lincoln: "It's...a map!" "'''If you're reading this, it means you came together and got to the "bottom" of the matter! Congratulations! You're almost there!" [The kids cheer over this discovery] Lincoln:' [suspicious]'' "But wait. How could she have known the map would be on Lily's bottom?" [The others think about that for a brief moment] Lola: [breaking the silence] "Who cares?! Let's find the money!" [They all head out on the search]

''[The backyard. The kids come across a big X]'' Lincoln: "X marks the spot." Lisa: [excited] "Ooh! I love solving for X!" [Lincoln grabs a sandbox shovel and starts digging] Sisters: [chanting] "DIG! DIG! DIG! DIG!" Lucy: "I've got some experience digging holes." [joins Lincoln in digging] Sisters: "DIG! DIG! DIG! DIG!" Luan: "Digging is fun for the hole family!" [laughs] "Get it?" Sisters: "DIG! DIG! DIG! DIG!" Lana: "Okay, everyone. Stand back. Luna? A little digging music?" Luna: "You got it, sis!" [starts strumming her acoustic guitar] [Lana digs like Charles and finds the briefcase, much to her sisters' amazement] Lincoln: [takes it but notices...] "It's locked!" Leni: "I got this." [takes the briefcase, pulls out her barrette, and picks the lock open with it, stunning her sisters] "What? There's more to my head than just air, you know." [Lincoln opens the briefcase and everyone gasps to discover that the money is real!] Lola: [checks the total] "Five...hundred...DOLLARS!!!" [The kids gasp again] Lincoln: "So, if we share it equally, that means we each get, uh..." Lisa: "$45.4545455 each." ''[The kids all cheer over their achievement. Luna cheers and Lucy is throwing confetti around like a flower girl at a wedding]'' Luna: "YEAH! WOO-HOO!" Lucy: "Yay. Yay. Yay." Lola: [spreading some of the money out] "ONE! TWO! THREE!" ''[Lincoln plays the bongos on his cheeks. Lori and Leni jump for joy and start doing the tango together. Lana is twirling a lasso, Luan is hugging a tree, and Luna is tumbling around. All the while, their parents watch on at their children's happiness]'' Rita: "It was really nice of you to give up your work bonus. Are you ever gonna tell them that you're Sharon DeMonet?" Lynn Sr.: "Nah." Rita: "I have to admit, it's nice to see them sharing money and not fighting over it." Lynn Sr.: "Yep. All part of Sharon's plan." Rita: "Was destroying the house part of Sharon's plan?" [Overview of the destruction from the kids' previous Free-For-All] Lynn Sr.: "No. No it was not." Rita: "Well, now she can...Sharon DeCleanUp!" [hands him a broom]

[Lynn Sr. is now cleaning up the attic] Lynn Sr.: [to the viewers] "Money. There just isn't a lot of it in the Loud House. But when there is, it's good to know that from now on, the kids will share it." [spots a dime] "Ooh! A dime!" [picks it up] "I'll just, uh...keep this one to myself." [puts it in his pocket and steps right onto and gets smacked by the loose floorboard he warned Lincoln about]