The Transporter Malfunction


 * Sheldon: Quantum physics makes me so happy.
 * Leonard: Yeah, I'm glad.
 * Sheldon: It's like looking at the universe naked.


 * Sheldon: I thought where you come from they don't have emotions.
 * Spock: I come from a factory in.


 * Penny: Ta-da!
 * Sheldon: (Gasps) A vintage,, 1975, Star Trek Transporter, with real transporter action. Hot darn!
 * Leonard: Where did you get that?
 * Penny: That's from Stuart at the comic book store.
 * Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?
 * Penny: Yeah! It was fun. I walked in and two different guys got s. Felt pretty good.
 * Sheldon: This calls for an expression of gratitude.
 * Penny: Ooh, am I about to get a rare Sheldon Cooper hug?
 * Sheldon: No, not this time, then it wouldn't be special. (makes a gesture and clicks his tongue) Thanks, Penny!
 * Penny: You're welcome. (to Leonard) Don't worry, I didn't forget about you. Leonard, I got you... (takes something out from her shopping bag) a !
 * Leonard: (looks stunned) Wow...oh, it's great. Also... in mint-in-box.
 * Penny: (takes something from her shopping bag) And I got you a transporter too!
 * Leonard: (throws away the label maker) Awesome!


 * Spock: Dr. Cooper! Dr. Cooper!
 * Sheldon: (looks around) Is someone there?
 * Spock: Down here, on your desk.
 * Sheldon: Spock?
 * Spock: I need to speak with you.
 * Sheldon: Fascinating! The only logical explanation is that, this is a.
 * Spock: It is not the only logical explanation. For example, you could be after being hit on the head by say, a.
 * Sheldon: Was I hit on the head by a coconut?
 * Spock: I'm not going to dignify that with a response. Now, to the matter at hand, you need to play with the transporter toy.
 * Sheldon: Yes, but its mint-in-box.
 * Spock: Yes, and to open it would destroy its value. But remember like me, you also have a human-half.
 * Sheldon: Well I'm not going to dignify that with a response.
 * Spock: Consider this. What is the purpose of a toy?
 * Sheldon: To be played with.
 * Spock: Therefore, to not play with it would be?
 * Sheldon: Illogical. Oh, dammit Spock you're right! I'll do it!
 * Spock: Sheldon, wait. You have to wake up first.
 * Sheldon: Oh, of course. Set s to dumb, right?


 * Penny: Oh my God, I love this chicken!
 * Sheldon: You know what they say; 'Best things in life are free'.


 * Penny: What is the truth?
 * Sheldon: My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream and forced me to open it. And when the toy broke I switched it for yours. Later he encouraged me to do the right thing and I defied him. And then I was attacked by a Gorn.
 * Leonard: Okay, that I believe.


 * Spock: Fine. I will just use the teleporter. Oh, right. You broke it.


 * [last scene]


 * Raj: This is a treat, what brings you guys by?
 * Bernadette: Raj, Howie told me what's going on with you and Lakshmi.
 * Raj: (to Howard) What, you told her?
 * Howard: I told everybody.
 * Bernadette: We believe there's someone out there who will love you for you.
 * Howard: Well actually, we kind of agreed to disagree on that one, but we both think you shouldn't marry this woman.
 * Raj: So, while I'm waiting for this mysterious perfect match, who may or may not exist, I'm supposed to just be alone?
 * Bernadette: Not necessarily. I think we've found someone for you to cuddle with. (Pulls a Yorkshire Terrier, Cinnamon, out of her purse)
 * Raj: (gasps) Oh my goodness! (holds the puppy) Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever? (turns to Howard and Bernadette) You got him for me?
 * Howard: Her. We thought you two would hit it off.
 * Raj: I think we already have. Thank you guys so much. (turns to the puppy) Let's go see if you fit in my man purse. (walks out of the room)
 * Bernadette: (to Howard) Metrosexual, my ass.