Pleasure Your Lovers

[Kratos advances up a flight of stairs, decapitating two Greek soldiers with his chain swords]

Kratos: I, Kratos, the God of War, feed the Blades of Chaos with the blood orbs of your souls!

[Kratos walks into a room to find a naked man and woman sprawled out on a bed]

Athena: Quickly, Kratos, pleasure your lovers and receive a bounty of blood orbs!

Kratos: Er, one of them's a dude!

Athena: What's the problem? You're in Greece.

Kratos: I'm not sleeping with a dude!

Athena: Surely you would at least let him watch if I offered you one thousand blood orbs?

Kratos: The Blades of Chaos are thirsty...I could not turn that down.

Athena: Then let's make it fifteen hundred and he gets to play with your balls! [Kratos sputters]

Kratos: [indignant] Wha-?! What do you think I am?!

Athena: [smugly] We've already established what you are, now we're just negotiating!

Kratos: Oh, I see what you did there, very smug and demeaning!

Athena: I'm just gonna throw this out there; two thousand blood orbs, anything goes! [Kratos gives an exasperated sigh]

Kratos: [pause]...Alright. [Kratos approaches the bed, then stops again] You're not gonna watch, are you?

Athena: Only as long as I need to.