American Pie Presents: Beta House


 * Wesley: [wakes up on plane] Excuse me, where's this plane going to?
 * Stewardess: Detroit.
 * Wesley: [sighs with relief] Thank God! [panics] ... Excuse me! Where's it coming from?
 * Stewardess: Bangkok.
 * Wesley: Thai...
 * [Wesley's sleeve is tugged by Sun Lei]
 * Wesley: Whose kid is that?
 * Stewardess: Yours - you adopted him yesterday. Congratulations!
 * Wesley: [waves gingerly] Hey buddy.


 * Ashley: How're you feeling?
 * Erik Stifler: Hey. Good, thanks.
 * Ashley: Here, let me see.
 * Erik Stifler: Oh, no. No, no. Ashley, it's... You really don't need to do anything.
 * Ashley: Oh my God, Erik. You have to put something on that.
 * Erik Stifler: No, it's just a little red.
 * Ashley: Here, let me.
 * [Ashley takes some healing gel and starts rubbing it on Erick's burn]
 * Erik Stifler: It's really not necessary...
 * [Erik gasps]
 * Ashley: Does it hurt?
 * Erik Stifler': No, it's just really cold.
 * [Ashley rubs slower]
 * Ashley: Does that feel better?
 * Erik Stifler: Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
 * Ashley: Wow!
 * [Megan is shocked by Erik's erection through the towel]
 * Erik Stifler: Oh man!
 * Ashley: I didn't even touch it. Mmm. No, it's no big deal. I guess I should just take it as a compliment, right?
 * Erik Stifler: I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry.
 * Ashley: It's cool.
 * Erik Stifler: How that cream feels good. Ash, you might wanna...
 * Ashley: [whispering] Just relax.
 * Erik Stifler: [panting] It's still hot.
 * [John falls backward and his towel falls off, his semen squirts on the wall, a picture frame and Mr. Biggles the teddy bear]
 * Ashley: Oh my God! Mr. Biggles!