Tomorrow We Diet!

​Narrator: Man was born hungry. From this early desire, he developed a taste for food. Eating became a habit. With the inner man satisfied, he is filled with a sense of well-being.

Goofy: Hello, handsome.

Goofy’s Reflection: Hello, fat.

Goofy: Huh? Who's fat?!

Goofy’s Reflection: Who? You!

Goofy: Why, I'm as fit as a fiddle!

Goofy’s Reflection: (grinning) A bass fiddle.

Goofy: Yeah? Well, get a load of that, mac. What a runner! Terrific at tennis, triple threat in football, record breaking jumper, and boxing fed! Clever, fast, hard-beating! (panting)

Goofy’s Reflection: Easy does it, fatty!

Goofy: I was a round athlete.

Goofy’s Reflection: That's right. Only now your just all round. You're going to pout! You're getting too big for your breeches!

Goofy: Ooooh, it's just an old suit!

Narrator: Well ... well, off with the old, on with the new... Stripes are slenderizing. No one can call you “fat”.

Taxi Driver: Where to, fat?

Narrator: Although you’re a heavy eater... (Anymore grub, chub?) you always settle for a light lunch.

Elevator Operator: Going up? You're just too fat, Fat!

Goofy: Hmph! Who's he calling fat! You are jolly, genial, lovable and... FAT AS A PIG?!!! I must be getting fat.

Goofy’s Reflection: What have you got there, fat? Bring it here, Junior. Hum, here's an easy way... Let's see you touch your toes!

Goofy: Toes???

Goofy’s Reflection: If you can see them, you can touch them. Let's face it, chubby... your trouble is EATING!

Goofy: Eating??

Goofy’s Reflection: It says here, quote, eating and overweight go hand in hand. Hey, fat! You can't eat all that! No bread, gravy, beans, potatoes, pie, cake, cream, sugar, spaghetti, butter, starch ... Just good old, substantial, low-calorie food. But better yet! Firmly place the hands on the table and... PUSH!! That's better! Get Thee behind me, Salami! That a boy, slaps! I knew you could do it! No munching between meals! Relax. Forget. Try a new hobby, read a book.

Goofy (with Various Voices:) Yeah! (EAT!) tender ham. (EAT!) delicious pies. (EAT!) mashed potatoes. (EAT!) candied yams FRIED CHICKEN, (EAT!) MELTED BUTTER, WHIPPED CREAM, (EAT!), SPAGHETTI, MACARONI (EAT!) CAKE, ICE CREAM, ahh!!

Various Voices: EAT! Eat... Luscious grapes (EAT!), bananas ... (EAT!) EAT! cold cuts ... EAT! trout, gold and brown, French pastry, almonds, CREAM CUPS, HAM AND EGGS, ha ha ha... EEAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT! eat! eat!, eat! eat... eat... eat... eat... eat... eat... eat...

Goofy’s Reflection: Ahhh, stout fellow...

Various Voices: Eeeeaaatttttt! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!

Goofy’s Reflection: Ha! Eat, drink and be marry and tomorrow... we diet!