The Message

[Open Int. The Beach]

(Greg plays his guitar.)

Steven: *cheers* That sounded great!

Greg: Oh thanks! I'm thinking about calling it "Water Witch".

Steven: Cool.

Greg: And check this out, I can add some vocal distortion too. *robotic machine voice* Steven, your dad's a robot now. And now that I'm a robot *distortion* things will be better and cooler. Please forgive me for being an amazing machine.

Steven: I can't stay mad at my robo dad. Where's all this awesome energy coming from?

Greg: Actually, I was inspired to make some new songs after the ocean got sucked up into space a while back. I even drew up some freaky album artwork.

(Greg shows Steven his drawing of his album cover.)

Steven: It looks like *puts finger on drawing* Lapis Lazuli.

Greg: *takes drawing back* Easy with the tender touches, don't want it to get all smudged. Here, plug this up and help your old man work out this witchy jam.

Steven: Yeah! Let's! Jam!

(Steven strums the electric guitar but it makes no sound.)

Steven: Uh? Where my jams at?

Greg: I don't think it's plugged in.

Steven: Ah ha!

(Steven plugs the electric guitar into a T.V.)

Steven: All right, here we go. Let's *strums guitar*... jam!

(The guitar still makes no sound.)

Steven: Uh... hmm. *strums it again* Jam!

(The guitar still makes no sound.)

Steven: Hm *strums it again*... Jam!

(He repeatedly tries to strum guitar but still no noise is heard from it.)

Greg: *points to the TV* Oh, sorry, that's just the T.V. See, you plugged into the video jack but were making audio here. Don't you know video killed the audio star?

Steven: *looks around, dazed and confused* I have no idea what you are talking about.

Greg: That's okay, you leave the details to me. When you're a one-man band you got to know how to do it all: lyrics, graphic design, forum moderation, but for me it was all about the audio.

Steven: What a lovely poem.

Greg: Ok, we need a catchy hook! Something like-

(Greg starts singing and playing guitar.)

Greg: Well she's a riptide queen and she's super mean!

Steven: Woah, hold the phone, now give the phone to me. Lapis was not mean, she was just trying to get home. How 'bout this instead?

(Steven starts singing Lapis Lazuli while playing guitar.)

Steven: She was trapped in a mirror and it couldn't be clearer: she wanted to leave this place and get herself back in space. And dad you might think she's a criminal, but her friendship comes through, subliminal.

(Steven is still singing, a montage of Lapis Lazuli starts playing.)

Steven: Lapis Lazuli... you fled into the bottom of the sea... Lapis Lazuli... you were so mad but then you came around to me.

(Steven stops singing and the montage stops when a strange, loud noise startles him.)

Steven: *trying to talk over the noise* Uh, what the heck is that?!

Greg: It must be some kind of weird feedback!

(He unsuccessfully tries to stop the noise by changed his audio keyboard.)

Greg: Hm, it's not us, it must be coming from the temple!

Steven: Let's go check it out!

Greg: You go on ahead, this is a gem thing and I don't want to get in the way. Plus I get to eat the rest of this pizza.

Steven: Good thinking. I'll be back.

(Noise intensifies as Steven opens the door)

Steven: What's happening?!

Pearl: It's the Wailing Stone!

Amethyst: Make it stop!

Pearl: It just activated on its own!

Amethyst: It won't shut up!

(Amethyst whines and Garnet momentarily stops the noise, but it soon continues.)

Everyone: Uh... !

Pearl: Stand back! *bubbles Wailing Stone and the noise stops*

Pearl: Ha, it worked, now we can get back to...

(The bubble grows large and pops, the noise comes back.)

Everyone: Ah... !

(Steven sticks his arm through the hole and the noise stops, but open his mouth and the noise continues.)

(Garnet removes Steven, shoves a couch cushion through the hole and places the rest around the stone and sits Steven on top of it.)

Garnet: I don't understand, that thing has laid dormant since we found it.

Pearl: I haven't heard a Wailing Stone activate since we used them for the rebellion, and I've never heard it sound like that!

Garnet: Someone is trying to send us a message.

Pearl: But who? We've rounded up all the Wailing Stones on Earth, and we're not sending this message to ourselves. Unless... Amethyst?! Is this a prank?!

Amethyst: No way! I want it to stop! I don't like it!

Garnet: If it's not coming from Earth, then a Gem must be sending this message from space.

Steven: Is that what some Gems sound like?

Pearl: No, no, we should be hearing a voice. Maybe this signal is too advanced for the Wailing Stone to process. That would explain the distorted audio.

Steven: Audio... my daddy-o knows audio!

Amethyst: Uh... you mean Greg.

Steven: Yeah!

Pearl: I don't know...

Garnet: Don't whine, let's try it.

(Greg is searching through his van on the beach.)

Greg: I can't believe it! You need help with sound stuff? You've come to the right guy! Ah ha! The Lubitz Cardioid Condenser 680! It's got warm tone without too much top end.

Amethyst: Uh, plus it's got a big honking sponge thing.

Greg: I know, isn't it awesome!

(Greg removes the couch cushions from the stone, causing Steven and the Gems to cover their ears, and plugs in his device.)

Greg: Now I'm going to add some reverb and some low octave effects, I'm also adding some fuzz 'cause who couldn't use more fuzz? Now if I directly input the Wailing Stone and put it through a flanger we might get what you're looking for.

Pearl: Flangers aside do you really think a signal like this is compatible with your analog devices?

Steven: Don't worry dad. *distorts voice* It'll work!

Greg: Well, here goes nothing.

(Old noise intensifies even more)

Amethyst: This is even worse!

Greg: I'm sorry!

Steven: Dad you can do it, you're the audio daddy-o!

Greg: Yeah! *tries to configure noise*

Amethyst: Uh.

Steven: It sounds like music.

Greg: Yeah, that's real nice.

(Noise changes into a more musical tone)

Greg: Yes, yes. Woo hoo!

Pearl: But, it's not supposed to be music. It's supposed to be a message!

Greg: Okay, hold on I got this.

(Noise starts to change)

Greg: It's changing!

Steven: It almost sounds like a voice.

Greg: Almost got it!

(Engine shorts out and noise stops)

Greg: Oh great.

Pearl: What's happening, where's the signal?

Greg: Uh, looks like the van battery couldn't handle all this.

Pearl: I had a feeling this wouldn't work, there's just no way that Greg's equipment can interface with our ancient Gem technology.

Steven: Ah... come on Pearl, you can't be ready to give up yet.

Greg: Look, we just got to keep trying. Sure we don't have the latest and greatest Gem tech, but-

(Garnet remove device, noise starts, she then puts back the couch cushions and noise stops.)

Garnet: It's okay Greg, you tried. Back to the temple. We'll figure something else out. *jumps off screen*

Pearl: What a waste of time. *jumps off screen*

Amethyst: See you later... Gregory. *jumps off screen*

Steven: Ah, come on y'all! *tries to jump off screen but fails*

Greg: I really blew it, huh?

Steven: Ah, Dad.

(Greg starts singing "Wailing Stone" and playing guitar.)

Greg: I could have tamed you, I could have shown I could depose you from your loud throne, but in the end I wasn't good enough. I just showed the Gems I ain't got the stuff. Oh Wailing Stone, I tried so hard to fly but I was thrown. Oh Wailing Stone, I gotta tell the Gems 'cause they should know. Have a little, have a little, have a little faith in me, I just wanted to help. You know I have a little, have a little, have a little expertise, I know it's not much but I know if it could come in handy I'd want to be there. I think so highly of you, it just isn't fair that you have so little faith... *stops singing*

Greg: Eh, that's a B-side.

Steven: Dad, I hate seeing you like this, there's gotta be something else we can try.

Greg: Eh, I don't know Steven. I mean, sound and stuff like this, this stuff's my whole world, and if I can't figure this out then I don't know, maybe it isn't even sound.

Steven: Dad, if it isn't sound then what else could it be? Hm, hm. Wait, what? Dad!

Greg: I'm not that far away from you, buddy.

Steven: What if it's...

Greg: Some other thing I'm not good at?

(Steven points at his eyes.)

Greg: *struggling* Magic... eyeballs... Oh my days, it's video!

Steven: We have to tell the Gems! Video! *starts running to beach house*

Greg: Hey, slow down!

(Greg runs into the beach house and starts talking without facing the Gems.)

Greg: I just want to help, have some faith in-

Amethyst: We're over here.

Greg: I know my audio equipment seems like a pile of Earth junk to y'all but-

Garnet: Greg, it's okay.

Greg: No it's not, you guys don't give up on anything, except for me. Come on... it's not like I can make it any worse!

(The Gems, Steven, and Greg are back at Greg's van.)

Pearl: Okay, go for it Garnet.

(Garnet holds jumper cables and generates her own electrical current.)

Pearl: Okay Amethyst, try it now.

Amethyst: I've never started a car with a key before. *turns key and starts car* Ha, that's way easier!

Pearl: The battery is ready to go.

Steven: The Wailing Stone is ready.

Greg: Ready with the video cord, Steven?

Steven: Ready.

(Steven plugs the cord into the TV and a sound starts and video is fuzzy.)

Pearl: Is that it?

Greg: Just a second.

Steven: I hear something.

Greg: Come on!

(The video then becomes clearer to reveal Lapis.)

Lapis Lazuli: Steven!

Steven: Lapis!

Greg: I did it!

Pearl: I can't believe my flipping eyes!

Garnet: Everyone, listen up!

Lapis: I hope you're able to hear this. There's a Gem looking for you, she even knew your name. I don't know how! I didn't tell her, I swear! She's on her way to Earth, and she's not alone. Steven, Homeworld is not the way it used to be. Everything here is so advanced! I can't even understand it. There's no way anything on Earth can stand up to it. Please, don't put up a fight, It'll only lead to devastation--

(Video cuts off)

Pearl: It's Peridot, she must be talking about Peridot.

Amethyst: She's coming for us!

Steven: Lapis, she sounds so unhappy...

(Pearl and Amethyst freak out in background.)

Amethyst: What are we going to do?!

Garnet: Woo, we did it.

Pearl: What?

Garnet: We got the message.

Amethyst: But--

Garnet: It's got!

(Garnet shakes Greg's hand.)

Garnet: Thank you Greg, we would not have received this message without your help.

(Greg starts to tear up.)

Greg: You... you're welcome.

Steven: My dad is... *auto tunes his voice to sound robotic* the best!

Greg: Oh my gosh, Steven's a robot! Help, I can't relate to my robot son!

Steven: *robotic voice* My mind is the internet, I know every continuity mistake ever made on television.

(Greg and Steven laugh, ending the episode.)

[Episode Ends]