The Fuss


 * ,, and :  Mom!




 * , and :  Mm-hmm.




 * No, I didn't get a new haircut.




 * No, I'm not desperately trying to get noticed for waxing my mustache.




 * No, I haven't had my dentures whitened, and I don't wear dentures! And by the way, I can plainly see you're all miming so just man up and ask.


 * What did we do wrong?!


 * It might be that a certain someone forgot a certain something.


 * Uh, you're being a bit hypocritical here. You can't be angry at someone for forgetting something if you can't even remember their name or what they forgot.


 * It's fine, no need to make a fuss about it.




 * Oh, I got it. There must be some secret fuss that I shouldn't know about!


 * No, there is no fuss.


 * No fuss. Got it.


 * No, seriously, there is no fuss. You just said you didn't want a fuss. Also, what is all this fuss about?


 * Sure, you didn't organize any fuss.


 * I'm not bluffing. There's no fussing.




 * Oh, I wonder who this could be! Oh! a sing-a-gram!


 * Uh...
 * Hello, my darling,
 * Hello, my baby,
 * This is from the IRS.
 * You better pay it, they're getting serious,
 * Your home will be repossessed.
 * There you go.


 * What? A party! I knew it! Yay!


 * Even acupuncture couldn't save him.




 * "It's a special day!" Aww! "Get twenty-five percent off at Dave's Skywriting Emporium?" Wait, so you really haven't organized anything?




 * Oh. Okay.


 * It's all right. I-it's quite alright, really. Don't make a fuss.


 * Okay then.




 * Something about her body language tells me she doesn't mean that.




 * Yep. Pack your bags, we're about to go on the round-the-world guilt trip. Unless we figure out what we should be making a fuss about.




 * Dirty socks and filthy clothes,
 * When all I wanted was a sweet red rose.
 * And how could anyone forget, or fail to see why I'm upset?
 * He made me laugh with things he said,
 * But now he can't remember the day we--




 * Aaaah! Gumball! Put out the fire!




 * No, don't!




 * Pwah! The song! Finish the song!


 * No, a certain someone should know why today is important.


 * Why did you say we shouldn't be making a fuss if you get all angry about it when we don't?


 * "No need to make a fuss" is a thing people say, but they obviously don't mean it. It's all in the subtext, like when someone says, "I'm only two minutes away."




 * "But we should stay in touch."




 * Or, "It's fine, honey."




 * Uh, okay. So are you gonna tell us what we should be celebrating?


 * Don't worry about it, sweetheart.






 * It's kind of difficult to organize a party if we don't know what it's for. What's appropriate? Cake? What if it's the anniversary of some tragedy? A black cake?


 * Let's keep it as vague as possible. Like this, look. "Today's the day."


 * Uh, do I draw a smiley face on the card or not?


 * Make it both!




 * Mm.


 * Keep it neutral.




 * Good choice! Beige, the Wednesday of colors. Like a visual muzak. As noncommittal as can be.


 * Okay, I'll be Mom coming in. Everyone, try and look as bland as possible.  I feel nothing. It's perfect.




 * She's coming! Get ready to sing the everything song.




 * Today's so very important,
 * it doesn't come very often,
 * For reasons you thought we'd forgotten,
 * Today is all about you.
 * Today is all about you.


 * It's such an important day,
 * it's such an important day.


 * Happy today to you,
 * happy today to you.
 * Happy today, dear Nicole.
 * Unless it's kind of sad, too.


 * This day for you,
 * is important for us too.
 * A sad and serious day,
 * unless you want us to say hooray.


 * We know this idea is not strong,
 * this is clearly a Christmas song.
 * We can't keep this up for too long,
 * so tell us what's wrong.




 * "With the deepest feeling on this momentous occasion." Smooth.


 * We baked you a cake.


 * Really?!


 * Dad, she was looking you right in the eye. It's you who's forgotten something! What is it?


 * Okay. Let me think.


 * W-what's going on?




 * I think he's using his brain!




 * This is dangerous! He's pushing way past his usual limits!




 * Ahhh!




 * He's not gonna make it!


 * No, Darwin. He has to do this.




 * I got it.


 * What is it?


 * We ask for a clue!






 * Can you please just tell us why today is so special so this family can get back to functioning in its usual dysfunctional way?


 * It's November first. Our wedding anniversary.


 * Since when do swans have nipples?




 * Dad, there's only one way to save the day -- with a totally over-the-top, disproportionate, overblown gesture.


 * You're right! I don't know what's so special about October eleventh, but I know it's an important day to your mother, so I'm going to make sure I never forget it again.


 * How?


 * That's not a swan. It's an elephant.


 * What are you talking about?


 * Well, didn't you ever wonder why we went on summer vacation in January? The calendar was upside down. Today is October eleventh, not November first.




 * I'm going to get a tattoo of October eleventh on my butt!


 * Okay, a tattoo is a big commitment. You should probably think about it for --




 * So, it turns out I was-


 * What?


 * You know, I was-


 * She thought today was their wedding anniversary, but it isn't. She's trying to say she was wrong, but her mouth is pathologically incapable of saying those words.


 * Well, I hope her legs are capable of making up for it.


 * What? Why?




 * It looks just like her, thanks.


 * I'd like this on that.


 * Uh-huh.






 * What are you doing?!


 * I couldn't see ahead!


 * Then we're gonna have to run.




 * Ow! It hurts so bad! Oh no, no, no, no! I can't do it! It's too painful!


 * Dude, I assure you, that's a reasonable price for a tattoo.






 * Aw, please don't be a butt, please don't be a butt, please don't be a butt. Ah, thank you universe.


 * Technically, that's my face.




 * Uhh, that's my butt.




 * Let's go this way! We can see where we're going in this direction!






 * Wait!


 * What?


 * You're holding it upside down. Almost got the date wrong there.




 * Where is it?


 * By the strip mall, somewhere on the left.


 * I can't see anything! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.


 * Wait, I gotta write you a ticket before I forget what happened.




 * Stop!


 * Why?


 * Where's my husband?!


 * I'm here!


 * Oh, I uh... Here. What have you done?


 * Ahh, don't worry honey.


 * Oh thank goodness you didn't go through with it.


 * Ha no, I totally went through with it. I just meant that he gave me a discount so you don't need to worry about the price.


 * Oh Richard.


 * Now I'll never forget what day it is. I will always look at this and think, "I wonder what day that is?" forever.


 * But I was wro-


 * Huh?


 * She messed up with the date and she was wrong.


 * Well, that's a day to remember.




 * Aw! Just kidding. I know exactly how to fix this.


 * How?




 * Now I'll never forget to think about you every day. What do you think?


 * Hmm. I love it.