Bionic Dog

(Hydo loop opens to reveal Adam)

Adam: Guys! Guess what I found!(Otis comes out of hydro loop and Leo and Bree start to pet it)

Leo: Where did you get a dog?

Bree: And please do not say from a guy with sunglasses and a cane.

Adam: No. He started sniffing me when I got on the hydro loop, then he went crazy and wouldn't leave me alone.

Chase: And did you by any chance have meat in your pocket?

Adam: No! Wait, is salami a meat?

Chase: He can't stay.

Adam: Woah! Did you see that? You said stay, and he did. He's a genius!

(Douglas walks in.)

Douglas: Otis!? (whistles and Otis comes to him, and he starts to pet him) Aw, that's my dog! He was a stray I took in and nursed him back to health, back when Krane and I bought our first evil lair together! Actually, it was more of an evil townhouse.

Bree: How where we ever afraid of you?

Douglas: Ooh, this guy got me through some pretty rough times.

Leo: Well, its nice to hear that you had someone to comfort you while you were plotting to kill us.

Douglas: I think Otis ran away because Krane terrified him! He must've been searching for me forever. I bet he smelled my scent on Adam and followed him back here!

Bree: Are you sure that's the same dog?

Douglas: Absolutely, watch this! Otis sit, (Otis sits) look left, (points left and Otis looks left) look right, (Otis looks right) speak. (Otis barks)

Adam: I can't even do all that!

Douglas: I'll tell you another little secret: Otis has super strength.

Chase: Wait! You gave bionics to an animal?

Douglas: Yeah, he was injured and I did it to save his life.

Chase: Well, I'm glad you saved him but I also can't believe the fact that you wasted bionics on a dog.

Douglas: I wouldn't say wasted. Do your thing Otis.

(Otis kicks Chase with his super strength)

Adam: Cool! I thought I was gonna have to train him to do that.

(theme song)

Chase: (sneezes)

Adam: Chase, could you keep it down? Otis and I are playing cards. Alright, what'd ya got? Another ace? Man, you're a lot better than the other dogs I play with.

Chase: (sniffles) Adam, that fur factory is making me sneeze. You have got to get rid of him.

Adam: Stop right there. Otis is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Chase: Oh, really? Better than being a bionic superhuman, and going on life-saving missions?

Adam: Mm-hmm. He lets me rub his belly.

Douglas: 'Sup, Otis?

Chase: (sneezes)

Douglas: Is he still making you sneeze?

Chase: (sighs) Yes. I must be allergic to him.

Adam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. How do you know he's not allergic to you?

Chase: Adam!

Adam: Okay. Chill out. I know just the thing that'll make you feel better. Hit it, Otis.

(playing up-tempo tune on digital piano)

Adam: Not his best. He's much better on guitar.

Chase: (sneezes)

Douglas: Adam, I know you love Otis, I do too. But Chase can't live like this.

Adam: Fine. I have a solution. Chase lives in a bubble.

Chase: I'm not living in a bubble!

Adam: You're right. It'll be much easier if you just leave the island. Thank you for your service, and good luck.

Douglas: No, no. He's right. Chase was here first, so Otis has to go.

Chase: (sarcastically) Oh, thank you so much for choosing me over a dog.

Douglas: Well, it wasn't easy.

(Chase leaves)

Adam: (to Douglas) How could you just cave like that?

Douglas: (scoffs) Relax. We're not gettin' rid of Otis.

Adam: Ah, I get it. So we're taking Chase to the pound.

Douglas: No, we're gonna hide Otis.

Adam: Right. Then we take Chase to the pound.

Later...

Leo: So bottom line, sweetie pie, I really am the glue that binds this bionic team together.

Shelly: Leo, I love it when you talk about you.

Leo: And I love that you love when I talk about me.

Shelly: I could talk to you all day, Leo.

Leo: So glad you're my lady.

Bree: Who you talking to, Leo?

Leo: Mr. Davenport.

Bree: That sounded like a girl.

Leo: I think we can both agree that is one of his many faults.

Bree: Leo?!

Leo: Okay. It's this new girl I've been talking to.

Bree: Wow, I never knew you were such a ladies' man.

Leo: I've been trying to tell you.

Shelly: Leo?

Leo: Yes, beautiful?

Shelly: My battery's on four percent. Can you put me on the charger?

(Leo turns off phone and puts it in his pocket)

Bree: Wait, the girl that you've been talking to is your phone?

Leo: No. What makes you say that? Shelly, stop vibrating; I'll talk to you later.

(Bree starts to walk off)

Leo: Okay. Shelly is my new smartphone assistant. Start off with a few meaningless reminders. Leo, don't forget your wallet, Leo, brush your teeth...

Bree: Leo, the bus is here to take you to wacky-town?

Leo: Look, she learned all my habits, and she knows me better than anyone. Shelly gets me. And for $39.99 a month, she is gonna continue to get me.

Bree: Look, I don't know what's sadder. That fact that you're dating your phone or that I think your phone can do better.

Adam: Otis, Chase is coming. Hide. I can still see you.

Chase: Adam, Are you reading a book?

Adam: No, I am pretending to read a book.

Chase: Ugh, why am I still sneezing?

Adam: Because you refuse to live in a bubble.

(Chase leaves the room)

Adam: Pretty smooth, huh? Come on, Otis. I think it’s time for you to teach me that chess game you’re always talking about.

Chase: Aha! I knew it. My allergies are worse than ever. You kept Otis!

Adam: What? No, this isn’t Otis. Stand, Otis. This is our long-lost cousin, Bulgia. From, the old country where shaving is illegal.

Chase: Adam, that’s a dog in a blanket.

Adam: Look, I know she isn’t the most attractive woman, but she’s family!

(Alarm)

Chase: Oh no, there has been an accident in the explosives area.

Adam: Oh, let’s go. Come on, Bulgia. Let’s show Chase that trick where you run like a dog.

(In the explosives area)

Chase: Douglas!

(Adam digs him out and Chase helps him up)

Chase: What happened?

Douglas: I don't know. I was in her doing inventary and when I turned the corner I tripped on something and everything fell.

Chase: This was no accident. Someone stung this tripwire.

Adam: You're right. And it was stretched from here to hero, which means, it had to have been someone with at least... 12 foot arms.

Chase: Someone rigged that wire to the explosives. Imagine if it had been rigged properly and had worked. The whole place would have blown, with you in it.

Adam: Hey, I've got an idea. (bend down next to Otis) Sniff Otis. Now go get the bad guy.

(Otis walks up to Chase)

Adam: I knew it! It was you!

Chase: I live here! Why would I want to blow this place up!

Adam: Don't ask me to explain the motives of a madman. Let me measure your arms. Bang, bang.

Chase: I checked every inch of the explosives area. I still can't figure out who set the trap.

Adam: Oh, please, end the charade, you demented genius.

Chase: I'm gonna go scan the security footage to see who's responsible. And would somebody please get that dog off the island.

Douglas: All right, Adam. The jig is up. I have to take Otis back to the mainland.

Adam: Oh, fine. Oh, wait, he wants to say good-bye. I know, buddy. I'm gonna miss you, too. I'll think of you every time I drag my butt across the rug.

Douglas: What are you doing? That is disgusting. And why do I think Otis' tongue is cleaner than yours? Ah, great. He's loose. Come on, we have to go get him. What are you doing?!

Adam: I don't know. I can't stop. But your pants taste surprisingly good. It's like you ran through a field of bacon.

Bree: Oh, Laughy Cat, that is not the litter box.

Shelly: Leo, where are you? Are you off somewhere with that cheap tablet again?

Bree: Say good-bye, Shelly.

Shelly: What have you done to Leo? I'm calling the police and just so you know, I'm a phone, so I can.

Bree: Do it!

Phone: Changing existing settings.

Liam: Hey there, my name's Liam. What's your name?

Bree: What? I must've hit the wrong button.

Liam: Or the right one. Who am I speaking to, love? I must know the name that goes along with such a heavenly voice.

Bree: You like my voice?

Liam: Of course I do.

Bree: Oh, well, if you must know, my name's Bree.

Liam: Ah, Bree. A beautiful name. The creative warrior. Irish origins. A Celtic dpirit running wild.

BreeL Really? Well, I do like to run.