Employee of the Month Redux

1 "Employee of the Month Redux" [OPENING THEME PLAYING] [MUSIC] [COWS MOOING] [RUMBLING] [MOOING] [MUSIC] Moo-yah! [THUD] It is getting away! [MUSIC] [PANTING] BEAST BOY: It's too fast. This is the third time this week it's gotten away. [PANTING] I made it! I made it! Oh, my side. Ouch! Let's get back to the Tower and start tracking that ship. Odd. It seems to just disappear once it gets over Jump City. Check it! Isn't she amazing? I thinks I'm in love. You are aware this "She" you feel the affection for is merely a land vehicle? Um, this is no ordinary land vehicle, Starfire. You's looking at the Takayama 3000. The sweetest moped ever built! WOMAN: Mmm, Takayama! You know, if I had one of these babies, I would be super-fast! Catching all kinds of UFOs up in this piece. - Beast Boy, you don't need a moped. - Yeah, dude, you can fly. Yeah, but my arms gets tired. Then turn yourself into a cheetah and run. Yeah, but then my legs be getting tired. Ah! Look! I needs me this moped. Think you can build me one, brah? Sorry, BB, no can do. Got to fix up the sci-cow. [GRUNTS] Think I can borrow a few dollars so I can buy this sweet moped, Mama? No. - No. [WHINES] - The no. Oh. How am I supposed to get a moped if everyone keeps shutting me down? Well, you could always just get a job and buy one. Oh Oh, yeah! I'ms gonna be getting me a job! # Get me a job, I'm gonna get me a job I'm gonna get me a job, a job Yeah, boy! Hey, there, Jimmy! I see you found our sign. You like meat? It's meatastic! Uh, it's Beast Boy. Actually, and Um I'm a vegetarian, so I really couldn't work here. That's super, rookie! Say, do you like mopeds? Because we're giving away a shiny Takayama 3000 moped - to the employee person of the month! - When do I start?! Welcome to the Mega Meaty Meat family, Philip. - I'll be in the back. - Hey, wait! Aren't you supposed to train me or something? [CLEARS THROAT] Um, can I, uh, take your order? Give me the Number One. Right. Uh, Number One, coming up! [WHIRS AND DINGS] Uh, does this look like a Number One? I don't care. I'm just hungry. [DOOR OPENS] - What up, Beasty? - Welcome to Mega Meaty Meats. If it ain't Mega, then it ain't Meaty Meats that's Mega. - How can I help you? - Let's see. I'll have Eight, Number Threes, five Number Twos, two Number Ones, and - A diet soda. - Actually, we don't have soda. - Only meat. - Okay, then make it a cup of meat juice. Specifically, what variety of the meat is it that you serve? Um, Meaty says that's a trade secret. I'm glad you found a place to make some extra money, Beast Boy, but, don't you think this place seems a little weird? Dude, they have fries made out of meat! This whole place is weird! And I hate it! [SIGHS] But I'm not leaving until I earn that moped. [BEEPING] Trouble! The UFO is back. Titans, go! Beast Boy, you coming? Mmm, I can't. I'll get fired. And if I gets fired then I won't gets that sweet moped. Let's go, baby! We'll handle it! [MOTORCYCLE REVVING] Okay, Titans, just like we planned. [BEEPS] [THUMPING] Okay, whatever you are come out with your hands or tentacles up! [MOOING] - So, we're being invaded by cows? - Use caution, please. The cow people of Garlon Prime are most formidable. No! This is just a plain old Earth cow. And it's not the pilot. It's the power supply? Oh, that's less strange. But if the cow's not controlling the ship, who is? I guess we're gonna find out the hard way. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] Okay, uh, that's five Number One's, a Number Two three meat pies, a large meat-shake, and a jumbo meat fry, right? Uh, Meaty, any chance you wanna help me out here, bro? You're doing great, Melly. - I'll just be in the back here. - Wait, no! [GROANS] Why didn't I just go with the Titans? ALL: I want my Mega Meaty Meat! [CLEARS THROAT] I'll be right back. Meaty? Huh? [COWS MOOING] [WHIMPERS] [FARTS] [BUTTON DINGS] What is this place? It is the mother ship, green human worker. So this is where all the UFOs are coming from. Why are you here, and what are you doing to all these cows? In exchange for providing us power for our technology, we have replaced them in your food chain with a nutritious meat-free substitute. Wait. You mean Meaty Meat is actually tofu? Not tofu. Nofu. Tofu comes from your planet's soybeans. Nofu comes from me. Oh, gross, dude. Who are you? [MUSIC] [CLANKING] I am The Source! [COWS MOOING] [LAUGHS] Tiny. You know, Francis, it's a shame it has to end this way. Your magnificent cows are mine. My collector ships are dealing with your friends as we speak. This ship is fueled, and once we leave orbit Kaboom! Shapow! Swagabaggabang! [COWS MOOING] [RUMBLING] [CROWD SCREAMING] You won't get away with this! [GROWLS] [GASPS] What are you doing? You's coming with me, son! [SCREAMS] Ludicrous human! There is no escape. Huh? WOMAN: Ooh, Takayama. [GROWLS] Yeah, boy! [MUSIC] This is so cool! ALL: [GROANING] Help! - Help! The help! - UFOs with tentacles! Those are always the worst! [TIRES SQUEAL] [TITANS YELLING] Insolent human! Your futile charge will end in defeat. Oh, yeah? You forget we're riding a Takayama 3000! And it has turbo! [MUSIC] Yes! [SCREAMING] [SLAPS] [BEEPS] [SCREAMS] Time to save Earth! [BEEPING] [COWS MOOING] [TIRES SQUEAL] Beast Boy, you just saved the whole world from cow-kidnapping UFOs? Yeah, I'm not really sure what just happened. Yes, today was the very weird and confusing and mystifying, and somewhat uncomfortable, and yet, strangely familiar. Dude, you're telling me. [SCOFFS] So, it turns out that Meaty Meat is really space tofu that came here to steal cows and destroy Earth! But I punched Meaty in his meaty face, kidnapped the alien leader, and destroyed the mother ship. And I did it all thanks to my awesome new moped! So, what happened to the alien leader? Oh, he's right over there. [CHOMPING LOUDLY] [GULPS] What? [END THEME PLAYING]