The Hamburger Postulate

Quotes

 * Penny: Leonard, I didn't know you played the .
 * Leonard: Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.
 * Howard: If you're into music, I happen to be a human beatbox.


 * Penny: Really?


 * Howard: (Beatboxing)


 * Penny: I'm actually not that into music.


 * Penny: (To Sheldon) Sweetie, I know you think you're explaining yourself, but you're really not.


 * Sheldon: I like the hamburgers where we usually have hamburgers; you can’t make the assumption that I’ll like the hamburgers here.
 * Leonard: I’m sorry. Give him a hamburger.
 * Penny: Uh, which one, the Classic Burger, the Ranch House Burger, the Barbecue Burger or the Kobe Burger?
 * Sheldon: Can’t we just go to Big Boy? They only have one burger. The Big Boy.
 * Penny: The Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy.
 * Sheldon: Excuse me, in a world that already includes the Big Boy, why would I settle for something like  a Big Boy?
 * Penny: Because you are not at Big Boy!
 * Sheldon: Fine, I’ll have the Barbecue Burger.


 * Penny: Gee, Sheldon, you’re asking the wrong girl. I’m usually on the other side of the tie.


 * Sheldon: Hold on, h-hold on! (clearly peeved)
 * Leslie: What?
 * Sheldon: Who told you, you could touch my board?!
 * Leslie: No-one.
 * Sheldon: I don't go into your house and touch your board!
 * Leslie: There are no incorrect equations on my board. (Leonard grins, Sheldon is furious)
 * Sheldon: Oh, that is so... so...
 * Leslie: I'm sorry, I gotta run. If you come up with an adjective, text me. (exits)
 * Sheldon: Inconsiderate. That is the adjective. Inconsiderate. (Pulls out his phone to text her.)


 * Sheldon: You're a lucky man Leonard.
 * Leonard: How so?
 * Sheldon: You're talking one of the three men in the western hemisphere who can follow your train of thought.
 * Leonard: So what do you think?
 * Sheldon: I said I could follow it. I didn't say I cared.


 * Sheldon: My equations! Someone's tampered with my equations!
 * Leonard: Are you sure?
 * Sheldon: Of course I'm sure! Look at the beta function of quantum chromodynamics! The sign's been changed!
 * Leonard: Oh, yeah...but doesn't that fix the problem you've been having?
 * Sheldon: Are you insane? Are you of your mind? Are you- hey, look, that fixed the problem I've been having!
 * Leslie: (enters) You're welcome.
 * Sheldon: You did this?
 * Leslie: Yeah. I noticed it after I got up to get a glass of water, so I fixed it so now you can show that quarks are asymptotically free in high energies. Pretty cool, huh?
 * Sheldon: Cool?!


 * Sheldon: Who do I talk to about reserving this table every Thursday?
 * Penny: I don't know. A Psychiatrist?