Aloha Hoek

(Ren and Stimpy are pushed out of the water and they start hyperventilating like fish drowning. Ren realizes that they're on land)

Ren: Land...

(Stimpy is still hyperventilating)

Ren: (tapping Stimpy's nose) Hey, stupid! Breathe air.

Stimpy: (realizing) Uhhh, Oh yeah! I forgot.

Ren: Well Stimpy, we're on dry land at last. We're saved!

Stimpy: (Worried) It'll be dark soon. We should seek shelter.

Ren: Hey! You're right! (in a close-up) There's no time to lose! We must be willing to protect us from the unforeseen dangers that wicked us on this island of despair. Well, don't just stand there. BUILD!

Stimpy: I'm building, I'm building!

(scene fades to an sand house. Ren is sitting on a sand couch watching TV while Stimpy is cooking dinner)

Ren: How's that chicken fried sand coming?

Stimpy: Sandy.

Ren: (Holding a glass of sand) And now, a toast to my best friend and our new home.

(It is nighttime and Ren & Stimpy are in a sand bed sleeping. Their sand house is next to the ocean so their house breaks down)

(it is morning and Stimpy is the first one waking up, realizing that their house broke down)

Stimpy: Hey Ren~, I think the water raided our house.

(Ren wakes up realizing the same thing, then gets angry)

Ren: (furious) Why didn't you use waterproof sand, GENIUS? (growls) I'll find a house myself! (Ren walks into a giant carcass ) Huh~? (eyes bulging out, he screams and jumps on Stimpy) It's gonna kill us! Run! RUN!

Stimpy: Aww, it's okay Ren. It's just a stinky, old fish carcass. Let's go check it out!

(Ren & Stimpy is inside of the carcass' mouth)

Ren: Wow! Walt-walt inerts! Looks like our worries are over! I've always dreamed of living in fish fowl! Let's hit the beach and dig up some chum!

Stimpy: (little kid voice) Yeah!

(scene fades to Ren sitting in a beach chair, wearing a hula skirt and a shell hat)

Ren: Hey beach monkey, how's that forgening comin'?

Stimpy: Grreat! Oh I got-I got some nice, stinky old kelp and-and and lots of beautiful fowl, smelling seashells and-and de-licious slime and crusted dead coral.

Both: Now, this is nature...

(A huge wave hits Ren & Stimpy. It fades to a hot sun and Ren & Stimpy are hot inside the carcasses' mouth, filled with flies, gunk and maggots.)

Stimpy: (sweaty) Hey Ren~, It's really getting hot in here and, uh, and it's stinky. (smiles and holds his nose)

Ren: (mimicking Stimpy) "Ren~, it's hot and stinky, i don't like it~!" (angry) Of course it's hot and stinky! It's a CARCASS ROTTING IN THE SUN!! I'm so SICK of your whining! N-nothing's ever good enough for you, is it?!

Stimpy: Wo-, Maybe we can find another home! that's not...rotting.

Ren: (frustrated) Find another home? Where are we ever gonna find another fish carcass as nice as THIS?! (gives a frustrated grunt) We're stayin'!

Stimpy: But Ren~, the worms are RISING!!

Ren: It's just a few little maggots. Shut your hole!

Stimpy: But...worms...(grunting)....almost....higher!

Ren: (angry) OKAY, THAT'S IT!!! If you don't like it in here, THEN GET OUT~!!! Go find your own carcass to live in!

Stimpy: But Ren, I wanna stay with youuu.

Ren: Go on! Go ROT in a jungle! SCAVENGER! HYENA! PARASITE! COMMUNIST!! DEADBEAT!!!!

(animals roaring, Stimpy later finds the Big Kahuna being served by two Hawaiian women)

Big Kahuna: Who are you to come to me at my island?

Stimpy: Duhh, My name is Stimpy, and I am homeless, and have no fish with which to live in. [smiles]

Big Kahuna: Now I expect you my ever because you're a partner. Next I get lunch myself.

Stimpy: [grins happily]

[Big Kahuna goes on the whale, Ren will have a marshmallow and heats the campfire in the whale.]

Ren: Yes sir, there's nothing like rotting fish goestones on the open fire.

[The door is knocking.]

Ren: Uh-oh. Somebody's knocking on the door in.

[Marshmellow burns and he shatters off.]

Ren: (Singing) Diddly dum dum, diddly ding ding, Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care. (spoken) I bet it's Stimpy come crawling back to Daddy.

[Ren opens a certain and Big Kahuna with his monstrous mask on.]

Big Kahuna: Hello.

[Ren was shocked and he screams and runs off. Then Big Kahuna was put his monstrous mask off.]

Big Kahuna: I guess you don't want to come to the luau. [giggles, spits] I think I spoke the owner. [walks off]

Ren: Animals! Poor Stimpy. He was probably torture. It eaten. It's all my fault. I kill my best friend. I deserve to DI-I-I-IE-E-E-E-E-E-E!

[Stimpy was so relaxed with two hawaiian girls.]

Big Kahuna: We have prepared a feast for you. Chicken wings. Sourkrout beans. Hot fruitpie. Ratatolie. Retofresh. [burps] Are you hungry?

Stimpy: Sure, Big Kahuna.

Big Kahuna: I have for you. Some kind of bug.

[Stimpy opens his mouth. The bug screams. Big Kahuna puts the bug on Stimpy's mouth. Stimpy chews and swallowed it.]

Big Kahuna: Some kind of slug.

[Stimpy opens his mouth. Big Kahuna puts the slug on Stimpy's mouth. Stimpy chews and swallowed it.]

Big Kahuna: Ohhh, you wanna some of these.

Stimpy: Duh, no thanks. I'm stuffed.

Big Kahuna: Hmm. [he chews a jellyfish and swallows it] Ouch. [smiles]

12 YEARS LATER...

Father Crab: I thought vacation would never end. Boy oh boy, it's great to be home.

Mother Crab: Just look at that carcass.

Child Crab: I can't wait to play with my fly!

[Father, Mother and Child Crab will go to carcass.]

Father Crab: The house is joyful just like we- HUH?!? Hey! Somebody rearranged the guts.

Mother Crab: Someone's been wearing my favorite negligee!

Child Crab: And the big crybaby got tear stains on my country record.

Father Crab: Where is he? Why I'll moider the bum.

Child Crab: Hey dad! I found the culprit! Look!

[Child Crab is poking Ren. Father, Mother and Child Crab is looking at Ren and Ren is shivering to death.]

Mother Crab: What IS it?

Father Crab: Why it's dinner!

Mother and Child Crab: YAAAY!!!

[Mother, Father and Child Crab will stretch Ren's hand and foot, Ren screams widely.]

Ren: Please don't eat me, kindly crab family! I'll do anything you say!

Father Crab: Well, we could use a maid, and there's something dead to be dragging up from the beach. Besides, we can eat you anytime. You can just start by walking the fly. GET MOVING!!

[Ren runs off then Ren was walking the fly at night, and in the morning, Fly is walking and Ren was laying down the ground.]

Ren: Everyday... It's the same thing. Bring in the garbage... and spend time with animals and walk the fly. Always the fly. I wish I was a fly, and I would fly away... (cute voice) FAR AWAY! (normal voice) Hey! Wait a minute. Flies can fly!

[Gross-out look at the fly, Cuts to the river and slides the screen at Ren and fly on top of the cliff.]

Ren: Well fly, This is it! Our big event! Our ticket to FREEDOM! [slaps Fly] C'MON YOU COOOW!!!

[Fly will starting flying with Ren.]

Ren: We're doing it! We're flying!

[Fly will continues flying to the sun.]

Ren: Higher! Higher! HIGHER INTO THE SUN!!! [laughs maniacally] Higher! Higher! Hiiii-IIII?!?

[Fly is falling down slightly.]

Ren: Hey, what's the matter? Don't go down! [slaps Fly] Go up, stupid!

[Fly go straight to the river.]

Ren: Come on, ol' pal, don't fail me now! We can still make it!

[Ren knocks the fly's head twice.]

Ren: GET UP! GET UP, you crazy good for nothin' MAGGOT!!!

[Ren is fully shocked, and he drowns.]

Ren: NO! NO!!

[Ren screams till it goes in the water and he died.]

[In the evening, Fly was holding Ren.]

Big Kahuna: Look.

[Fly will put Ren on the ground.]

Stimpy: REN! Are you okay?

[Fly nods "no". Stimpy was shocked and he lies down for Ren.]

Stimpy: REEEEEEEEEEEN!!!! [crying maniacally]

[Fly shows the audience, he don't know the difference and he walks off. Stimpy holds on Ren.]

Stimpy: He... was my... FRIIIIIIIIIIIEND!!!

[The watch is beeping, Then Stimpy was putting down to Ren.]

Big Kahuna: Wha?

[Russian-esque Caricatures are taking off a Ren and Stimpy's mask and Big Kahuna shocked.]

Hurey: Well, Secret Agent Cobra, the mission is over. Time to go home.

Barney: Duhh, Hurey, Here comes the submarineski.

[The Submarine is arrived.]

Hurey: There spies life for once man is a lonely. I can hardly wait to carass my wife's beard stubble again. Heh-heh-heh.

Barney: I'm with you, Cobra.

[Russian-esque Caricatures will go to the Submarine and drives away. Big Kahuna waves goodbye.]

Big Kahuna: Goodbye, little bug!

Father, Mother and Child Crab: Goodbye!

Father Crab: Goodbye, ya moron!

[Father, Mother and Child Crab was fun having a twirling stick at the end of the episode.]