The Heart

Bluetooth Speakers

 * I can't believe you have a pair of Bluetooth speakers in your backyard!
 * I have to say, Mr. Robinson, I'm impressed with how on point you are with new technology!
 * Yeah, you're like a silver firefox!
 * I got those free when I bought a foot spa from the catalog. They also sent a face massager, but Margaret ruined it when she put it in the dishwasher.
 * Well, all systems go, Captain! What do you wanna listen to?
 * Oh-hoh! I'm not gonna play any music on it. Just this.
 * WHAT IS THAT?!
 * Oh, it's a frequency only vermin can hear. That's it, get off my lawn!
 * IT'S NOT WORKING!
 * Oh, I wasn't talking about that kind of vermin.
 * Oh, it's a frequency only vermin can hear. That's it, get off my lawn!
 * IT'S NOT WORKING!
 * Oh, I wasn't talking about that kind of vermin.
 * Oh, I wasn't talking about that kind of vermin.

Hearts Broken

 * Hold on a second, kids.
 * and : Of course, Mr. Robinson!
 * "Meh meh meh meh." Hmm. Margaret?  Yeah, sorry, I didn't quite catch what that last "meh" was about.
 * Meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh!
 * Oh, right. Those "Meh mo mi mi" in Miami.
 * Meh meh meh meh.
 * What am I doing?... Uh, just tryin' to get rid of those two little meat gargoyles from next door. Dumbbell and Garden Waterbagger, or whatever.
 * Meh meh meh meh.
 * Yes, the ones I hate.
 * Yeah, I roped those dopes into installing a new defense system against themselves. They're bigger suckers than leeches making major life choices based on their horoscopes!
 * And they're so ugly! The little red one's got a face even two mothers couldn't love! And the blue one is like a visual version of drinking orange juice right after brushing your teeth.  You know what? A quantum microscope couldn't find a quark of charm in those two buttclowns.
 * To be honest, that last one wasn't so bad, by comparison.
 * Wait, who was I talking about?
 * Huh? Those losers are gone?
 * We heard every word you just said about us, William Shade-speare!
 * Wait, Where are you?
 * At the bottom of the pit of despair, Mr. Robinson!
 * That was a metaphor.
 * Right.
 * You ruined our friendship and left us with these horrible black clouds over our heads!
 * ...Oh.
 * And that one's not a metaphor, by the way.
 * Goodbye, Mr. Robinson.
 * No, wait! Where are you going?
 * There's a lot we need to process... I think we need a therapist.
 * And a meteorologist.
 * Oh, fine. Go see a "get out of my face-ist" as well. And as for an extra prescription, some chill pills while you're there! Hmm!
 * and : Oh!
 * Right.
 * You ruined our friendship and left us with these horrible black clouds over our heads!
 * ...Oh.
 * And that one's not a metaphor, by the way.
 * Goodbye, Mr. Robinson.
 * No, wait! Where are you going?
 * There's a lot we need to process... I think we need a therapist.
 * And a meteorologist.
 * Oh, fine. Go see a "get out of my face-ist" as well. And as for an extra prescription, some chill pills while you're there! Hmm!
 * and : Oh!
 * And a meteorologist.
 * Oh, fine. Go see a "get out of my face-ist" as well. And as for an extra prescription, some chill pills while you're there! Hmm!
 * and : Oh!



Mr. Robinson's Jail Streak

 * Ugh, I don't see how things will ever be the same again... short of brainwashing them. Of course!  "How to brainwash chi--"
 * What did you do?!
 * I followed the advice online.
 * Turns out it's illegal to alter the minds of children using Cold War CIA techniques. It's bureaucratic madness! Next they'll be asking me to pay for a fishing license or something!
 * Dad, you do need a fishing license.
 * What's this world coming to when a simple tax-paying man like me can't even enjoy feeding himself and his family by throwing a little dynamite in the pond?!
 * Look, if you want to make peace with them, just keep it casual and don't go too far, okay? Just play it millennial!
 * You mean dye my hair rainbow colors, dress like a fake lumberjack, feed off avocados and inherit a world in ruins?
 * Uh, I guess. But mainly I meant you just, like, poke them! Or, bring them more followers! Or leave a little message on their wall!
 * Sounds easy enough.
 * Uh, I guess. But mainly I meant you just, like, poke them! Or, bring them more followers! Or leave a little message on their wall!
 * Sounds easy enough.


 * "Let's play a game"?
 * Poke. Poke.
 * WHAT THE ACTUAL WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!
 * What? Just got you more followers.
 * Hello!
 * How you doin'?
 * Hey.
 * YOU--
 * Dad. Please. Stop.
 * I know I'm not cut out for prison. But there were some real tough cookies in there! And they didn't even give us any milk to dunk 'em in.
 * Why don't you just be nice to the kids, and give 'em some toys or something?
 * Ah-ha! There! They'll love my old chewing doll.  They don't make 'em like they used to. Oh, even better!  My real space gun!  And there's still gunpowder in it! Oh!  And my little atomic energy kit! What kind of child wouldn't want to play with a little uranium and-
 * Don't tell me I needed to specify children's toys.
 * This time I got arrested for violating fourteen international peace agreements.
 * Look. Have you tried just expressing your feelings to them?
 * Feelings? You mean, like....hungry?
 * Dad, no!
 * Sleepy?
 * Ugh! No!
 * Umm, like when you have to go to the bathroom?
 * Agghhh! Just speak to them, and make an effort to be positive!
 * Ah-ha! There! They'll love my old chewing doll.  They don't make 'em like they used to. Oh, even better!  My real space gun!  And there's still gunpowder in it! Oh!  And my little atomic energy kit! What kind of child wouldn't want to play with a little uranium and-
 * Don't tell me I needed to specify children's toys.
 * This time I got arrested for violating fourteen international peace agreements.
 * Look. Have you tried just expressing your feelings to them?
 * Feelings? You mean, like....hungry?
 * Dad, no!
 * Sleepy?
 * Ugh! No!
 * Umm, like when you have to go to the bathroom?
 * Agghhh! Just speak to them, and make an effort to be positive!
 * Agghhh! Just speak to them, and make an effort to be positive!

Expressing Your Feelings

 * Hey. Gumball?
 * What?
 * I-I just wanted to say... you've got massive hips.
 * What?!
 * Wha...? No, no, it's a good thing! You could be a model! In the Renaissance.
 * Okay, bye.
 * No, no, wait! I've got other nice things to say. Uh, Darwin, you speak English very well.
 * What?! What do you think my native language is?!
 * Uh... "Fish-spanic"?
 * Wow, you managed to be offensive to pretty much everyone on land and sea at the same time.
 * No, no, no, no, no! Sorry. I-I-I meant it's amazing that you never let your disabilities stop you from living a normal life!
 * No... wait, wait, wait! I'll pay you.
 * Are you serious?!
 * Yeah! 5 dollars for a "get off my lawn," and... 10 dollars for an insult about your appearance, and a dime for every time I slander your father.
 * I meant, do you seriously think our friendship is for sale?!
 * We want out!
 * What seems sweet has turned out to be lethally toxic. Like feeding a chocolate cake to a puppy, next to the tail pipe of a 4x4, in the middle of an oil spill, while reading an Elmore Stream comment. I'm sorry, Mr. Robinson. You don't love us.  You just love to hate us.  And if you can't see the difference for yourself...  ...then your heart is beyond saving.
 * I meant, do you seriously think our friendship is for sale?!
 * We want out!
 * What seems sweet has turned out to be lethally toxic. Like feeding a chocolate cake to a puppy, next to the tail pipe of a 4x4, in the middle of an oil spill, while reading an Elmore Stream comment. I'm sorry, Mr. Robinson. You don't love us.  You just love to hate us.  And if you can't see the difference for yourself...  ...then your heart is beyond saving.

Meeting Mr. Robinson's Heart

 * No!
 * Hmm?
 * No!
 * No! Aah!
 * What are you doing?
 * I'm protecting myself!
 * From what?
 * Do you mean "feelings"?
 * Uh-huh.
 * But why?
 * Because they're dangerous!
 * What are you talking about?
 * If you let you-know-what in, sooner or later, you get your hearts broken!
 * I think I have the solution to this problem.
 * Exactly! Less expression, more suppression!
 * No... We need to force-feed you so much love that you'll never fear it again!
 * Please don't tell me this involves a song.
 * Uh-huh! It's time to drown your heart in love!
 * Literally.
 * Exactly! Less expression, more suppression!
 * No... We need to force-feed you so much love that you'll never fear it again!
 * Please don't tell me this involves a song.
 * Uh-huh! It's time to drown your heart in love!
 * Literally.

Flip your frown upside down, Hang loose and let the good times roll! We'll turn your life around, If you open up your chest today and wave goodbye to yesterday! You'll never beat the feeling! When you feel a real feeling for the first time, ooh ooh You'll never beat the feeling! And this old felt heart is feeling so brand new!''
 * You're keeping your loving locked way up tight,
 * and : But we got the key to put everything right.
 * Chasing bad feelings and demons away,
 * and : ''Hurts for a heartbeat but you'll thank us one day.
 * and : ''Hurts for a heartbeat but you'll thank us one day.

A New Leaf

 * He stopped beating!
 * I think we killed him!
 * With kindness. We need to give him the kiss of life!
 * Okay, that's enough! I admit it, I felt something. But if you give me any more love, I'll start spewing confetti! Now, get out of my way.
 * So?
 * Wait a minute... I... I feel different.
 * And... how do you feel about us?
 * I... I... li... I lo... I loathe you slightly less than I did before.
 * and : That's good enough for us, Mr. Robinson!
 * And... how do you feel about us?
 * I... I... li... I lo... I loathe you slightly less than I did before.
 * and : That's good enough for us, Mr. Robinson!
 * and : That's good enough for us, Mr. Robinson!