Steven and the Stevens

[Open Int. Sea Shrine]

(Steven looks around the Sea Shrine.)

Steven: Hey! How about this one here? *looks at the smallest hourglass*

Pearl: *walks over to Steven* What one?

Steven: This little one... it's adorable. *makes star eyes*

Pearl: Steven, the legendary glass of time won't be nearly so small and insignificant. *walks over to the next hour glass* It'll be beautiful and grand. *looks at a medium-sized hourglass excitedly* *makes diamond eyes* Like this one!

Garnet: I think it's this one. *looks up at the largest hour glass*

Steven: *looks up* Whoa!

Pearl: You mean the biggest one? *echoes* How are even supposed to get that back to the Warp Pad?

Garnet: I can carry it. *cracks knuckles*

Pearl: *puts hands on Garnet's shoulder* Wait! We need to be careful which one we touch, you remember what happened last time we were here.

Steven: What happened?

Amethyst: Hey, guys. I'm making the call. *picks up an hourglass* And it's this janky one here!

Pearl: Amethyst! (The Sea Shrine begins to shake.)

Amethyst: *looks at chosen hourglass* Ugggh... nope, it wasn't.

(Water begins to leak into the temple flooding the place.)

Garnet: Look out! (Garnet grabs Steven and dodges the water alongside with Pearl.) We don't have much time.

Pearl: *to Amethyst* Amethyst, come on! (Steven runs away from Garnet and Pearl.)

Garnet: Steven?

Pearl: W-Where do you think you're going?!

Steven: Amethyst gets to keep hers!

Amethyst: *walks over to the warp pad carrying her chosen hour glass* Darn tootin'!

Steven: I'm gonna get the one I picked out. (Steven runs towards the tiny Hourglass.)

Garnet and Pearl: Steven!

Steven: *picks up the Hourglass* My name's Steven. You're gonna live with me!

Pearl: Steven, come on!

Steven: Imma comin'! Imma comin'! (A huge wave of water appears behind Steven, causing Pearl to panic when Garnet suddenly shape shifts her arm.)

Garnet: Hang on! (Garnet's shapeshifted hand grabs Steven.)

Amethyst: *starts to panic* Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!

Garnet: *brings Steven back to the warp pad* Gotcha!

Pearl: Well done Garnet! *cups hands*

(They warp right before a huge wave engulfs the place.)

[Trans. Int Beach House]

(The Gems warp back with a huge amount of water, soaking the whole place.)

Steven: *floats on the water* Hahahah! [Scene moves to Gems being wet and Amethyst swallowing a fish] Hot potato! We're doing that again right?

Pearl: Unfortunately *removes seaweed from her hair* ... we'll have to wait another hundred years for the sea shrine to reform because somebody couldn't keep their hands to themselves.

Garnet: *to Pearl* You have a lobster on your butt.

Pearl: *looks down at her backside* Huh? EEEHHHH! (Amethyst laughs at Pearl.)

Steven: (A cat-shaped alarm clocks rings.) Beach-a-Palooza!

Amethyst: Beach-a-wah-whooza?

Garnet: *holding the octopus that was previously on her head* Palooza. (Pearl looks at the lobster on her butt.)

Steven: That was a lot of fun you guys. I'll see you later! After you sir. *opens door for crab* Bye bye!

(Trans. Beach City, Steven is humming as he rides on his scooter to It's a Wash.)

Greg: Yep.

Yellowtail: *nods* Mmhhmm.

Steven: Dad! Dad! You're ready to rehearse? Whoa!

Greg: Uhhh, we're having a bit of a day.

Steven: Is it stuck?

Greg: Yeah.

Steven: *looks at the boat* Why does a boat need a car wash?

Yellowtail: Hah! huhuhhuh- *walks towards boat*

Greg: Sorry buddy, I don't think I can plan the concert tonight. I gotta deal with this.

Steven: You're bailing on Beach-a-Palooza? But the whole town's gonna be there!

Greg: Steven, that's like 15 people. Next time, bud. I promise. (He walks off and starts talking to Yellowtail as Steven rides away.)

Steven: Stupid boat getting all stuck. Nobody likes you, boat! I wish I could've been there to tell my dad you were too fat! (He is interrupted as he's teleported back to when his dad was about to put the boat in the car wash.)

Greg: That's it. Just back her in. She'll definitely fit.

Steven: What the-? *gasps* Dad! Dad!

Greg: Hey shtuball! You excited for Beach-a-Palooza?

Steven: Dad, dad, fat, it's fat! Fat, fat fat!

Greg: *looks at own stomach* Rude.

Steven: Not you! *points to boat* The boat! The boat!

Greg: Whoa, whoa whoa! Stop the boat! (The boat stops, as Yellowtail looks out the window, mumbling in question.) Nice catch, Steven.

Steven: *pulls the hourglass out of his pocket* *gasps* The thing! You took me back in time, didn't you? Pearl's gonna flip when she finds out you're the real one!

Greg: Look, I'm sorry, but the boat's fat. (Yellowtail mumbles something as the car rolls towards the electric pole.) Oh no, your car!

(The car crashes into the pole, knocking it over and lighting the wire on fire, leading it to the roof of It's a Wash, as it explodes and sets the roof on fire, both scream as this happen.)

Greg: Gotta save the van!

Steven: *with a horrified look on his face* I wish I could go back and stop myself from stopping my dad. (He warps to when he was about to tell his dad the boat's too fat.)

Greg: That's it, just back her in, she'll definitely fit.

Steven 2: *warps back from the first wish* What the-? *gasps* Dad! Dad!

(Steven tackles Steven 2 before he could say anything.)

Steven 2: Future Steven?

Steven: Listen two-minutes-ago-Steven, we can't go around trying to change time stuff. It just makes things worse.

(Yellowtail's boat gets stuck once more.)

Greg: Oh no! How did this happen?

Steven 2: Aw, man! I really wanted to play in Beach-a-Palooza. Too bad you and I can't be in a band.

Steven & Steven 2: Wait a minute!

[Scene goes back to a point where Steven was on his way to see his dad]

Steven & Steven 2: STEVEN!

Steven 3: Steven? ... Steven? What's going on?

Steven: No time to explain!

Steven 2: Wanna join our band?!

Steven 3: Yes, but didn't dad say he would play with us?

Steven 2: He had an emergency at the car wash.

Steven 3: We should go help him!

Steven: No! There's nothing we can do! The boat's fat, trust us.

Steven 3: Okay... so who's our fourth? We need a drummer.

Steven 2: Not a problem! Steven.

Steven 3: Hey it's the time thingy! (All Stevens go back in time to get the fourth Steven.)

[Trans. Int. Beach House]

(All Stevens are playing the song Steven and the Stevens.)

Steven 2: Hey! Great singing Steven!

Steven: Thanks, Steven!

Steven 2: Can I sing lead this time?

Steven: Well I usually sing lead vocals when I play with dad.

Steven 2: So do I!

Steven 3: Me too!

Steven 4: Me too too! We all do! We're all Steven!

Steven: Well one of us has got to be the band leader... (All Stevens "hmmm" at the same time.)

Steven 4: Oh! The leader should be the original Steven!

All Stevens: The one that's been around the longest! Yeah, alright, that's a good idea.

[Scene moves to Steven labeling the other 3 Stevens]

Steven: Done and done! Steven 2, you're the smart one, Steven 3, you're the funny one and Steven 4, you're the sensitive one and I'm... the handsome one! Okay?

Steven 2 & 3: Okay!

Steven 4: Okie-dokie artichoke-y!

Steven: Steven 4, what are you doing? You're not the funny one. Steven 3 is.

Steven 3: Well we are all the same person so we are equally prone to being hilarious.

Steven: No no, that was too smart an observation for you, 3! You're the funny one!

Steven 2: Wait which one am I again?

Steven: Dang it, Number 2! You're the smart one!

Steven 4: Hey. If Steven is the handsome one, does that mean the rest of us aren't good looking?

Steven 3: No way! We are all extremely attractive!

Steven 2: Let's go get jobs as models!

Steven: Hey! None of you are the handsome one! I'm the handsome one! (All 3 Stevens look sad.) Uh! No I didn't mean! We decided... urgh, lets take five.

All 3 Stevens: There's a fifth Steven!?

Steven: *irritated* Noooo! I mean a five-minute break!

All 3 Stevens: *laughter* We know!

[Trans. Ext. Beach House]

Steven: I can't believe it, I'm so... annoying. Maybe it's time for me to quit the music business. (Electrical guitar noise is played, Steven comes inside the house to see all 3 Steven playing rock music.)

(Steven 2, 3, and 4 singing Ste-Ste-Ste-Steven.)

Steven: Whoa whoa whoa! What's all this noise? I thought we all agreed that Steven and the Stevens was going to be a light-hearted throw back to early rock and roll, not this mess of screaming into distortion.

Steven 3: Look, Steven. Steven and I were talking, and Steven agrees. Your attitude... just isn't working for us.

Steven 2: We've been a lot more productive without you.

Steven 4: We already wrote an angsty song about the time you made us feel bad for not being handsome.

Steven: You're kicking me out of the band?! Wait? Who's playing drums?

Steven 4: Amethyst said she would do it.

Amethyst: I'm down for whatever. *twirls drum stick in her hand*

Steven: Oh, come on!

(Steven 3 sing Big Fat Zucchini.)

(Steven unplugs their instruments.)

Amethyst: Whoa, Dude.

Steven: LISTEN UP! You can't kick me out of the band! I'm the original Steven. I created you! Steven and the Stevens was my idea! Without me, you'd all be nothing! *gasps* That's it! (Steven begins to laugh maniacally as he uses the Hourglass.)

All 3 Stevens: Steven, no!

[Trans. Beach City]

(Steven goes back to the past to tell the first Steven to not start the band.)

Steven: Don't start the band Steven! It will only tear us apart!

All 3 Stevens: HA-HA! We all have time things!

Steven: You'll never catch me, you turkeys! Ha! *time travels away*

All 3 Stevens: We gotta stop me!

(Steven and the other 3 Stevens travel to another time line leaving the past Steven in shock.)

[Trans. Gem Glow]

Steven from Gem Glow: I'm okay guys... Huh!?

Steven: Too far back!

(All 3 Stevens try to tackle Steven but fail and Gem Glow Steven pukes like he did in Gem Glow.)

[Trans. Rose's Room]

(All 4 Stevens are fighting one another when another group of Stevens appear, the original Steven travels someplace else and the other 3 Stevens tackles the other group only to travel someplace else. Leaving the Steven from Rose's Room to parachute down like he did in the episode. All Stevens travel too far into the future and end up in the episode, Ocean Gem.)

Steven: Just take me back to the beginning!

[Trans. Sea Shrine]

Steven from the beginning: Amethyst gets to keep hers!

Amethyst: Darn tootin'!

Steven from the beginning: I'm gonna get the one I picked out. (Steven runs towards the tiny Hourglass.)

Garnet and Pearl: Steven!

Steven from the beginning: *picks up the Hourglass* My name's Steven... *gets interrupted by future Steven*

Steven: Stop right there! Give me the time thing, Steven.

Steven from the beginning: Wait, are you future me?

Steven: Just hurry up and give it!

(Suddenly all other Stevens start appearing fighting one another.)

Steven: Don't make me hurt me, Steven.

Steven from the beginning: Why do you need it so bad?

Steven: Just give it to me! (Steven struggles with Steven from the beginning for the Hourglass when all other Stevens from alternate timelines start appearing.)

Steven: Give it up, Steven! I know everything you're gonna do, before you do it! (Steven manages to get the Hourglass and laughs maniacally once more.) Huh?

(Steven looks down at a frightened Steven from the beginning and then looks at all the other Stevens from different timelines fighting each other. The Gems are left stunned at the amount of Stevens before them and while Amethyst is counting all the Stevens, "12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19..." Steven then realizes the chaos he has created.)

Steven: STOP IT!!!!! (All other Stevens stop fighting each other.) Look around you! This isn't right! (Steven helps Steven from the beginning stand up.) When Steven fights Steven, who is the winner? What have we become? (All other Stevens begin to question themselves.) We are not the Stevens we once were. And to fix that... I HAVE TO END IT! HAAAAA! (Steven smashes the hourglass of time.)

(All the other Stevens then begin to scream and disappear.)

Steven 3: Steven, please! You gotta—AAH!

Steven: Steven! Dad can't play Beach-a-Palooza with you. The boat's fat, you gotta find another way!

Steven from the beginning: I don't know what you're talking about!

Steven: Stay cool forever, Steven. (Steven kisses Steven on the cheek.) ''Arrivederci. (Steven then screams when he disappears, leaving behind a dumbfounded Steven while water starts to flood into the room in the background.)

[Trans. Ext. Beach City]

(Steven performs Steven and the Crystal Gems at Beach-a-Palooza with the Crystal Gems instead of his father, with several residents of Beach City listening.)

[END]