Custody Battle

(Opening shot of the city.)

Narrator: The City of Townsville! And no better place to spend father's day.

(The camera zooms in before cutting to a pair of yellow kites in the air, one labelled 'DAD', and one labelled 'SON'. The camera stays on these for a brief moment before panning down to the father and son holding them and smiling, clearly enjoying their time together. The father pats the sparse hair on his son's head before the camera starts to pan right. As it does so, we see a father and son playing catch by a bench, a father and son on the bench eating ice cream, and on their other side another pair who have just finished a game of basket ball by the looks of things.)

Man 1: Son, when I was your age...ah, I was twelve. (His son looks shocked by the revelation, clearly having expected this story to go elsewhere.

Man 2: Billy, that was an amazing shot! (Closeup of basketball father as he speaks. Someday you're gonna be a famous player! (They hug)

Narrator: Yes, it's a wonderful day for all the dads of townsville.

(The father and son duo move away to display Mojo on another park bench. He is looking rather bored and unimpressed with the day's events so far and drinking from a resteraunt soda cup.

Narrator: Well, almost.

(Close-up of Mojo. He begins to mock the father he has just seen.)

Mojo: (Mocking) You're going to be a famous player. (Normal) Sickening. (He goes back to his drink as another father and son pair catches his eye to his right. We cut to them, where the excited boy has decided to sit on his father's lap.)

Boy 1:  Dad! I wanna be a man just like you someday.

Man 3: I love you too, son.

(Once again, the pair hug.)

Mojo: Oh puh-lease. (His expression changes as instead of the usual cheerful exchanges we hear crying. Mojo looks on in surprise as the camera cuts to a rather nerdy-looking redhead sporting broken glasses, grey shirt and green and orange checkered shorts. His underwear has been pulled out of his shorts, and his face is bright red. He is crying to an identically-dressed man reading a newspaper.)

Boy 2 (crying): DADDY! (pointing o.c.) THOSE MEAN BOYS BEAT ME UP, AND TOOK MY ICE CREAM MONEY, AND GAVE ME A WEDGIE!

(Mojo looks in the direction he's pointing, and gasps in shock.  The Rowdyruff Boys are kneeling there, counting the money.)

Mojo: The Rowdyruff Boys?! (Jump closer to the Boys, who look up and smile)

Mojo: This is not possible! How is it that something that was destroyed can exist again? (He walks to the Boys and stops in front of them)

Mojo: I demand an explanation as to how something that was destroyed can exist again! (The Boys look at each other, then back at him)

Brick: Duh, nice hat, dorko! (They laugh; Mojo comes up and brandishes a finger at them)

Mojo: How dare you talk to your father that way!

Boys: Father?! (Now they start laughing hysterically, pounding the ground.  Close up of Mojo, who is shocked by something o.c.  "Him" descends into view, arms outstretched so as to hold the Boys in a very loose embrace. In the following exchange, the camera focusses on the speaker.)

Him: Yes, it seems that the boys have found a new father now.

Mojo: What?

Him: I brought the boys back, so I am their father now. (Him now lays on the floor, the boys gathered around him. At first Brick appears to be stood on Him's leg as he is not floating, but by the next line has resumed floating far above this spot. Mojo comes into view, pointing an angry finger at this strange scene before him. Mojo continues to make various hand gestures, often with little to do with what he's saying, as he speaks.)

Mojo: Incorrect! The Rowdyruff Boys were my idea, which means I was the original creator! Yes, it was I who originally created them, which means it was my creativity which led to the origin of the idea which resulted in the creation of them. Therefore the idea originated before the actual creating began, resulting in total origination of all creativity.

(Him looks on wearily, stifling a yawn. Cut to the boys.)

Brick: Duh, I didn't get that the first time. Can you repeat that? (Boomer and Butch laugh, shortly joined by Brick and Him while Mojo steams away at being the butt of yet another joke. Him sits up, drawing himself closer to Mojo.)

Him: I'm sorry, Mojo, but your creation was destroyed by the Powerpuff Girls, (He shoots to his feet. Evil voice) And would probably still be destroyed (Falsetto) if I didn't revive them. Besides (The camera cuts to a shot of the interior of Him's broken up house, showing the original versions of the Rowdyruff Boys) seeing as I made them better (A claw waves in front of the boys, turning them into the versions we know now. Once more he holds them in a loose embrace. Evil voice) They should remain mine.

Mojo: Better?! (The scene returns to the park as Mojo jabs a finger furiously at Him's chest.) How could you make Mojo Jojo's design of the Rowdyruff boys any better?

Him: (Laughing hysterically, falsetto) By making them immune to the Powerpuff Girls' girly kisses! (The scene shows Him holding his immunisation to the boys before stock footage displays the girls attempting to defeat the boys with kisses in 'The Boys Are Back In Town'. They now tower over the girls, eyes glowing red.) Now they can't be destroyed by the mere touch of cooties. (Back to the park, evil voice) So why don't you run along, chimp chump?!

(Mojo really starts fuming now until he can no longer hold it back and practically leaps at Him in his eagerness to argue back.)

Mojo: Those boys were created to do pure evil, which makes me the more fit father since I am pure evil.

Him: (Suddenly holding a lolly pop. Falsetto voice.) Oh, I'm sorry, but nobody does evil (Evil voice) The way I do!

(The two disgruntled fathers really start to get in one another's face as the argument continues.)

Mojo: That is not so!

Him: (Falsetto voice) Is so!

Mojo: Is not so!

Him: Is so!

(Cut to the boys, looking very bored and practically falling asleep on their feet as they wait for things to move along swiftly.)

Mojo: Is not!

Him: Is so!

Mojo: Is not!

Him: (Evil voice) Is so!

Mojo: Is not.

Him: Is so!

(Cut back to the arguing fathers. They are now level, as though Mojo has suddenly gained a few meters in height, glaring deeply into one another's eyes. Pull back as Mojo pushes Him away, showing the former to be stood atop a stack of phone books.)

Mojo: Very well then! Since you will not acknowledge that I, Mojo Jojo, the original creator of the Rowdyruff Boys, who were originally created by me, am the more evil father, you leave me no alternative but to PROVE that I am the more evil father, therefore making me the better parent!

Him: (Leaning in, falsetto) Fine then. (Evil) And I will prove that I am the eviller parent!

Mojo: Very well then!

Mojo, Him: (Him returns to his falsetto as the screen splits to show both head on.) Let the evil begin!

''The scene switches to show an election campaign. The Mayor stands by a podium, flanked by two bodyguards as a crowd stands below him. Above sits a banner reading 'MAYOR '04'. Pull back to show this is being watched on a screen by Mojo and the boys.)''

Mojo: First, I will demonstrate my total evilness by kidnapping the Mayor of Townsville! (Mojo pulls a few levers on the control board in front of him as he laughs.)

Mayor: Friends and neighbours and, uh, fellow bedwetters! We are gathered here today to witness the holy union between- (One of the guards leans in to whisper into the Mayor's ear.) Huh? Oh? You don't say! Who's getting elected?

Mojo: Now, observe.

Mayor: And furthermore, it has come to my attention that there are just too many of you. And (He continues under as the screen focusses on a camera. The lense opens up and a large nozzle stretches out. On the barrel is written 'TRCP 800'.)

Mojo: Behold, the TRCP 800!

(Cut to inside)

Boomer: You mean... Totally Rad City Pulverizer?

Mojo: No, dumb-dumb.

(Brick happily takes the opportunity to hit his brother. Cut back to the TRCP as what appears to be a floating pickle with an antennae comes from the nozzle.)

Mojo: The remote-control pickle!

Mayor: Which brings me to my next point, which is (He notices the pickle floating before him) Guh, eh, the point, eh, um the point is...eh, which is... (He grunts and throws himself down, now crawling after the pickle.) Pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle (Cut to Mojo as he laughs, then back to the Mayor as he continues to repeat the same word over and over as he crawls through a sea of legs, down the stairs of the Town Hall, down a busy road, to an alleyway that bids no-one enter and through the barring fence, breaking it and getting his clothes caught and torn off in the process.)

Mojo: Now prepare to witness true evil!

''The floating pickle stop before a simple box trap held up by a stick connected to a string before disappearing inside. The box itself claims to be for holding pickles. The Mayor continues to crawl toward the trap, relentlessly babbling over his need for pickles. As he approaches, we cut between Mojo and the Mayor, the former hovering his finger over a big red button.)''

Mojo: Steady...steady

Him: Yoo-hoo! (A large shadow falls over the Mayor, diverting his attention upwards) Up here, mister Mayor! (Cut to Him, piloting some form of flying vehicle. He even wears a pilot's cap.)

Mayor: Pickle?

(We pull back to show the airborne vehicle in question is in fact a blimp made to look like a pickle. The Mayor reaches for this and then follows it blindly.)

Mayor: Pickle.

Mojo: (Watching this development on a screen) Curses!

(Cut to the blimp interior as Him teleports the boys over. They appear dazed.)

Him: And now, my dear boys, I will show you just how evil I am, by letting the mayor play a little game of upsy downsy. (The blimp stops over a tall building, which the Mayor instantly goes to climb.) Good little mayor. (He reaches the top of the building and starts reaching for the blimp.)

Mayor: Pickle pickle?

Him: (Pushing a lever) Whoops. (The blimp continues onwards without its little follower. The Mayor begins to lose his balance and falls from the top of the building, screaming. He hits the pavement below, head-first, but still seems to have the sense to cover his shame. After a moment, he falls onto his side. Cut to above, Him looking out one window with the boys looking out another behind him.)

[For this shot, Boomer appears to be missing his clothes, and Butch, his arms.]

Brick: Man, that was pretty evil!

(Cut back to ground level. A crowd has now assembelled around the Mayor. Ms Bellum rushes over.)

Ms Bellum: Mayor? Are you okay?

(The Mayor sits up and blinks, looking round until his eyes fall upon a man eating a banana with a bored expression. Zoom in  on the banana.)

Mayor: Banana. (He once again crawls to his desired item) Banana, banana, banana, banana banana, banana, banana, banana!

Ms Bellum: Yep, he's just fine.

(Cut back up to the blimp window where all four occupants look on. The boys' arms appear detached on and off until removed from the blimp. Him draws the boys' attention to himself as he speaks.)

Him: Don't worry, boys, there's  more evil where that came fr-oh! (He cuts off as the entire blimp shakes violently, shocking the four occupants. The camera zooms out to show one of Mojo's giant robots holding the blimp in place)

Butch: Wow! A giant fighting robot!

(Zoom in to the eyes of the robot, showing Mojo at the controls)

Mojo: Yes, a giant evil fighting robot created by Mojo Jojo!

(The robot raises its free hand to the blimp, one finger outstretched. This finger acts as a vaccum, pulling the Rowdyruff Boys out of the blimp and into the main control room of the robot.)

Mojo: Now watch this! (The robot holds up a giant pin and after a moment pops the blimp, sending it into the distance with the sound of a deflating balloon. Cut back to the int) And now, observe total evillness. (The robot raises its arms, now cannons, and fires two green missiles into the distance. They land somewhere within the city and cause a large whiteout explosion. Robot int.)

Brick: Wow! That's super evil, dude!

Mojo: Yes, and it's all yours to command.

(The boys exchange looks as they consider this before looking back to Mojo.)

Brick: You mean...we can blow stuff up and stuff? (Mojo nods and hums in affirmative.) Anything?

Mojo: Anything.

(The boys run to the controls, cheering. Suddenly, Brick throws his arms up to stop his brothers.)

Brick: Waaaiiit! (Pointing at a mini-screen, which shows the Mayor crawling along, still sans clothes.) First, let's start with that stupid Mayor!

Cut to the city, where the man being followed by the Mayor is talking on the phone.

Man 4: Anyway, I got this little naked dude following me and it's a bummer.

Mayor: (Running after him) Banana banana banana banana! (He exits OC and just misses being crushed by one of the Robo-Jojo's feet. He continues his chanting under.)

Man 4: Alright, just take it, please! (The Mayor snatches the banana from his outstretched hand and finally stops speaking, instead busying himself with his treat. Behind him, the giant robot approaches.)

Mayor: Banana. (He throws the peel over his shoulder, satisfied, and the foot of the robot comes down over it. It seems not even the giant robot is safe from the comedic powers of the banana peel as it is quickly pitched backwards and unable to save itself from falling with the large cannon arms. It ends up flat on its back, knees bent at an awkward angle and canons broken off. Various parts are giving off sparks and the head dome has a large hole in it. Interior, the boys are on their backs on the floor, Brick and Butch looking pretty peeved while Boomer just looks surprised. Mojo sits beside them, holding his head.)

Mojo: Curses...

Him: (Rising into view) Oh, what's the matter (evil) monkey boy? (Falsetto) Techinical difficulties? (He laughs and the screen is filled with a spiralling red smoke before the scene dissolves to him reclining on a pink cloud, the rather unimpressed Rowdyruff Boys hovering by his feet.) Boys, let's stop monkeying around. It's time I showed you what real evil looks like! (He raises a pan flute and blows into it, making a strange sound similar to that made by a lazer. A flashing multicoloured beam decorated with musical notes streaming out and heading to a building with a sign labelled 'center for cosmic research'. The beam crashes through the wall and passes by several scientists, who are visibly effected by this beam. The man on the end of the line puts down his clipboard and starts walking to another scientist standing by a machine.)

Scientist 1: (Monotone) Doctor Shank.

Scientist 2 (Shank): (Monotone) Yes, Doctor Yust?

Scientist 1 (Yust): Here is the secret code for the CSD. (He holds up a piece of paper that says 'secret code'.) That I am not supposed to give to anybody.

Doctor Shank: You mean the ignition code for the Cosmic Singularity Degenerator (He turns to the machine and starts pushing buttons) Which when activated will cause a fission reaction, Which will send a warp desensitive parabolic gamma ray into the cosmos causing disalignment between the celestial bodies, then of course throwing the Earth out of orbit, sending it hurtling into the sun? (As he says this, a light appears in a nearby machine, which then fires out of the building and reflects off several asteroids before hitting the earth, sending it past Venus and Mercury and towards the sun. Cut back to the research centre.)

Doctor Yust: Yes, that code.

Doctor Shank: Okay, just making sure.

(Cut to a hill Mojo stands on, watching the sun getting closer and closer. The sound of flames is evident and the screen starts to change colour to yellow. Mojo turns as a swirling red cloud appears alongside Him's merry laughter. Him appears onscreen with the Rowdyruff Boys beside him.)

Him: Splendidly evil, isn't it?

Mojo: Evil? How about stupid? Yes, thanks to your foolishness, we will be reduced to nothing! Nothing, like the amount of intelligence inside your head! Nothing, like the amount of respect I get after six seasons on this show! (Him holds up his hand, halting the progress of the sun.) No, you are not the more evil parent, you are the more stupid parent, which makes you unfit to be the father of these boys! (The sun retreats as the Earth returns to its proper place. The boys watch this with smiles, turning to see how Him will react. Cut to the latter, who is now steaming.)

Him: Is not so!

Mojo: Is so!

(Cut back to frame all five. The boys are no longer amused.)

Him: Not so!

Mojo: Is so!

Him: Not so!

Mojo: Is so!

Him: Not so!

Mojo: Is so!

Him: (Evil voice) Not so!

Boys: (Over Mojo's line) Shut up!

Mojo: (Under previous) Is so!

Brick: We don't care which one of you is more eviler or more stupider or whateverer! There's only one evil thing we care about, and that's destroying the Powerpuff Girls!

Boys: Yeah! (They high-five)

Brick: Let's go! (Mojo and Him exchange seemingly worried looks as the boys speed away. Mojo has his hands clasped, Him has his claws together and both are crying liquid pride.)

Mojo: Boy, that's the evilest thing I can imagine!

Him: (Falsetto) Oh, all you can do is raise them the best you know how and hope they turn out how.

Mojo, Him: I'm so proud of them! (They embrace and sniffle)

Narrator: And so, with Mojo and Him finally happy together, (The scene dissolves to an ending screen variant with black and white skulls instead of pink hearts and the Rowdyruff Boys fly into view.) the day is doomed, thanks to the Rowdyruff Boys.

-The End