The Scoring Session

THE SCORING SESSION --- Written by: NICK DuBOIS, KEVIN HOPPS, RANDY ROGEL, TOM RUEGGER Directed by: MIKE MILO Animation by: KOKO ENTERPRISES CO.        {Mozart's Symphony #40} [Door opens] NEIVEL: Settle, people, settle. [Clears throat] BIRDIE: [Clears throat] Good morning. Your regular conductor, Richard Stone, is off having a        long deserved rest at Camarillo, so I, Neivel Nosenest, shall conduct today's scoring session. Before we begin, I have three rules which must be obeyed. Number one: no one is to be late. DOT:   Sorry i'm late! Excuse me. Excuse me. Coming through. Sorry. Oops. Watch out. Pardon me. So sorry. NEIVEL:  DOT:   Oh, don't mind me. Just go right ahead. NEIVEL: [Clears throat] Rule number 2: never interrupt me wh-- [Door opens] YAKKO: Sorry to interrupt, but does anybody know where I'm sitting? NEIVEL: Rrrrr. There! YAKKO: Thanks. Nice tie. Yard sale? NEIVEL: Rule number 3: musicians will arrive with their instruments tuned and prepared to play. [Door opens] WAKKO: Hi! Do you happen to know if there's a recording session today? NEIVEL: Yes! There is a recording session today. WKAKO: Oh. Well, I left my sheet music in the watertower. Do you have an       extra copy I can borrow? NEIVEL: Just take your seat! There's music on the stands! WAKKO: Thanks. Say, where's Richard? NEIVEL: As I already explained, he's out today. I am the guest conductor Neivel Nosenest. Y & D: Neivel Nosenest! Neivel Nosenest! [Snickering] DOT:   How do you get a name like 'Nosenest'? [The little blue bird of paradise flies up his nose] Forget I asked. Y & W: Eew! Ewww!! NEIVEL: All right, people. Please turn to the first piece of music. {Coming through the Rye} WAKKO: [Gulping his lunch]   [Pulls out chicken legs]  Drumsticks. {Mozart's Symphony #40} NEIVEL: People, settle. The cartoon we're scoring today is called "Lights,       Camera, Traction". And in this scene, I need you to arpeggiate the chords into the modulation and accelerando out of the first movement. RALPH: Duuh, whadda that mean? YAKKO: It means play it like cartoon music, Ralph. PLAYERS:Oh, yes. I see. PINKY: Narf! NEIVEL: Here we go. And 1, 2, 3, 4... {Morning from Peer Gynt} DOT:   Hold it! NEIVEL: What? DOT:   Yes, I have a question. On page 3, bar 2, measure 41. I have a       B-flat. Did you mean to write a B-flat? SNS:   I have an A-sharp. RUNT:  Yeah, I have a G-flat. Definitely a G-flat. RALPH: Aah, I think mine is an M.        [Everyone talking] NEIVEL: Quiet! Of course it's a B-flat. See? B-flat. It's supposed to be       a B-flat. DOT:   That's what I thought. Fine. If that's what you want, a B-flat it       is. NEIVEL: Rrrrrgh. Let's move on, shall we? {Warners' theme} WAKKO:  NEIVEL: Give me that! [Grabs mallet] What does it say here? It says piano. Piano means soft. You're supposed to play piano. YAKKO: Riiight! [Plays jazz intro] [Everyone joins in] NEIVEL: No, no, no. That's all wrong. Stop it! Stop it at once, I say! I       said stop! Let's pick it up from 1-M-3, bar 22: the violin solo. Violinists? The next part is very cartoony, so I need you to purposely play this section badly. DOT:   Well, you've come to the right place. WAKKO: Can we play badly, too? YAKKO: We won't let you down! NEIVEL: No. Bar 22. And 1, 2, 3, and... WALTER: Eh, it wasn't like this back in the good old days at the philharmonic. We played real music, not this noise. {Warners' theme} [Notes fly around the room. Wakko takes after them with a fly-swatter] DOT:   Oh, come on. This is unplayable! NEIVEL: Oh! Aagh! Get these things away from me! {Flight of the Bumblebee} YAKKO: Stand back! We'll take care of this. WAKKO: Bad notes! Bad, bad notes! YAKKO: There! Our job here is done. DOT:   Congratulations. YAKKO: Thank you. And a special thanks to all the little quarter notes that made this possible. NEIVEL: All right! That does it! How can I conduct when you three are driving me crazy? Y,W,D: We'll show you how! YAKKO: I think it should go, @@@@@h...something like this. {Animaniacs Theme} NEIVEL: Stop it right now! DOT:   Yeah. It's my turn! {Alphabet Song} NEIVEL: This is not the right music. WAKKO:  How about this? [Grabbing baton] {That Farm Song} NEIVEL: Give me that! {Warners' theme} Yes. Like this. Better. Very nice. Huh? [Wakko pops out of his sleeve and swipes the baton] Come back here with that! {Iris out!} DOT:   Nice job there, Neivel. WAKKO: Faboo. [Everyone applauds] TECH:  It sounded great, Mr., uh,  Nosenest. NEIVEL: Thank you. It did go rather well, didn't it? TECH:  Absolutely. And we're ready to record any time you are. NEIVEL: Huh? You mean you didn't record what we just did? TECH:  No. We were just setting the levels. NEIVEL: Oooooogh! Oh, all right. Places, everybody. YAKKO: Union break. {Aloha} NEIVEL: No, wait! Please come back! [Laughing maniacally] {Mozart's Symphony #40} YAKKO: You know, that's the fifth conductor we've lost this week. {Warners' theme}