WALL·E·NATOR / Extreme Renovation: House Edition

(Scene begins at the Bar Corrall. Lightning appears as a timejump occurs, bringing a killer robot back in time, sent presumably by SkyNet... but the robot in question is quite different. We go into WALL·E's first person viewer. Text says "[Time Travel Successful] [System Ready]")

Wolverine: Dude, you crashed my bike.

WALL·E: (The HUD text says "[Sweet Jacket] [Take It]") GIVE ME YOUR CLOTHES.

Wolverine: I'm supposed to give you my insurance, but OK. (Later, Wolverine is seen in only his heart-patterned boxers.) Had to wear the hearts today...

(Scene goes to a BnL house.)

Shelby: I don't care if you're running out of room to put things! Just keep selling! (Knocking) Hang on a second. (Opens the door.) Can I help... (Looking down, WALL·E is revealed - a Waste Allocation Load Lifer - Earth Class robott gone wrong, clad in Wolverine's leather jacket.) you?

WALL·E: PREPARE TO BE WALL·E·NATED.

(The title card appears next to WALL·E's right glowing red eye: WALL·E·NATOR)

Shelby: (Just as WALL-E's coming for him slowly...) What did I do? (WALL·E hands him over a newspaper) "All underwear half off." (WALL·E snathes the newspaper, switching it around to show the correct headline on the front page, saying: "TOO MUCH TRASH!!! EARTH COVERED - B&L CCO DECLARES GLOBAL EMERGENCY") "Too Much Trash, Earth Covered." But I haven't covered the world in trash yet. And there's no proof that I will. (Throws the newspaper into a trash bin but it falls to the floor. Wall-E detects the rolled up newspaper on the floor. His HUD's text says "[Garbage Detected!]") No, wait! I'll clean that up!

(WALL·E grabs Shelby and stuffs him into his compactor module.)

Shelby: Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!

(He turns him into a cube, spitting him out.)

WALL·E: NOW WE ARE SQUARE. (Leaves)

Shelby: Ouuuch!

(WALL·E finds and scans Oscar the Grouch. "The text says [Oscar the Grouch] [Producer of Garbage] [Target #2]")

Girl: (Oscar is eating a trashed fish) Hi, Oscar! Can you help us find a triangle?

Oscar: Tell you what: why don't you tri-an-go away so I can eat my lunch? (Boy cries. Oscar turns around and sees WALL·E stuffing his garbage into his compactor module.) Hey, R2-D2, keep your grubby hooks off my garbage! I like it like that!

(WALL·E disagrees with Oscar, grabbing him out of the can and stuffs him into his compactor module.)

Oscar: (groans) Ohh!! (He turns him into a cube, spitting him out)

Girl: A square!

Oscar: Shut up, kid.

(Boy cries again.)

(WALL·E goes into the city.)

SpongeBob SquarePants: (looking round) I've eaten so many Krabby Patties, how will I ever regain my shape?

(WALL·E solves SpongeBob's shape problem by turning him into a cube too, and spits him out as the square-shaped sponge he is. Except his face is in the wrong place.)

SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, That's better.

(Scene cuts to Sam Sparks interviewing Flint Lockwood)

Sam Sparks: Flint, do you ever worry what will happen if Mount Leftover gets too big?

Flint Lockwood: Nah. I just make the food. I don't care what happens to the trash--

(WALL·E grabs Flint Lockwood and stuffs him into his compactor module.)

Flint Lockwood: Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!

(WALL·E turns him into a cube, with Sam watching in horror, and spits him out. Sam Sparks looks at the camera.)

Sam Sparks: We now return to MAD, already in progress.

(MAD comes back to air on a television in the TV News Van. WALL·E gets enraged. Scene cuts to MAD Headquarters)

WALL·E: BIGGEST PRODUCERS OF GARBAGE. (Walks into the building)

(Scene goes to MAD headquarters interior, home to Alfred E. Neuman, Spy vs. Spy and the Usual Gang of Idiots behind it all. WALL·E breaks in by punching the door)

WALL·E: BIGGEST PRODUCERS OF GARBAGE.

Kevin Shinick: ''"Garbage"?! ''

(WALL·E stuffs him into his compactor module.)

Kevin Shinick: (groans) Ohh! (He turns him into a cube and spits him hot)

(The executives scream in terror.)

Executives: Aaaaaaahhhh! (WALL·E approaches the Usual Gang of Idiots. The HUD text says "[Final Targets!]" He shifts crosshairs to a Xerox machine with a record scratch, currently printing, when he hears the printing noise.)

WALL·E: XEROX. (Hugs it as hearts pop from his head.)

(Later, the marriage of WALL-E and the Xerox is in progress - with Optimus Prime, Spock, Wolverine, and the Gang in the audience.)

Reverend: If anyone disagrees with this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Wolverine: Uh, I would actually like to get my jacket back. (WALL·E turns him into a cube and spits him out.) Consider it a wedding gift.

[End Segment]

(Title card: Extreme Renovation: House Edition)

Ty Pennington: This week on Extreme Renovation: House Edition, we're heading north - WAY north - to take on Superman's home, the Fortress of Solitude! At the request of some of the people closest to him.

Joker, Sinestro, and Lex Luthor: HI, EXTREME RENOVATION!

Lex Luthor: We couldn't help it but fear that Superman's Fortress of Solitude was interfering with his social life.

Sinestro: Yeah, I'd actually hang out with him if his place wasn't so darn cold.

Lex Luthor: Can you help?

Ty Pennington: We sure can, Lex. (Turns on megaphone.) GOOD MORNING, SUPERMAN!

(Superman arrives... in his underwear)

Superman: Morning? We're at the North Pole. It's 11:30 at night.

Ty Pennington: WE'RE SENDING YOU TO DISNEYLAND!

Superman: Is someone in danger?

Ty Pennington: I'll say.

(Superman flies off for Disneyland)

Ty: Yep, for living such a private life. (Megaphone goes back on) TEAR DOWN THOSE CRYSTAL WALLS!

(The wrecking ball smashes as the crystal wall is about to get smashed.)

Ty: Maybe we should work on that. (LATER...)

Superman: (Returns) I couldn't find anyone at Disneyland, so I-- wait, who are you?

Ty: Ty Pennington, Extreme Renovation: House Edition. The show responsible for your new Fortress of Fun!

Superman: Fortress of-- (Sees the changes) How did you get into my house?

Ty: With a spare key left with your neighbor. (Which is actually Santa.)

Superman: Lousy neighbor.

Ty: Check out your new digs.

Superman: What the- where all the crystals with the messages from my father.

Ty: Hollograms are so last year, so we replaced yours with a 52 inch plasma screen. Now let's check out the bedroom. We replaced with it... bunk beds. Plus we going to expand your closet, but it already seemed pretty roomy. Next week on Extreme Renovation: House Edition, we make over this house."

"You do what?"