The Book of Khartoum

(Setting: Mozenrath's Citadel, in the lab. Mozenrath and Xerxes are looking at a book on a stand. A man's face is on the cover of the book.)

Xerxes: Open the book! Open the book! Open the b—

Mozenrath: (grabbing Xerxes by the throat) Quiet, Xerxes! It took me seven years of searching the Seven Deserts to find the Book of Khartoum. And now that it's mine I want to savor the moment.

Xerxes: Yes, master. (slinks away)

Mozenrath: (places his hand on the book) Many great wizards have dreamt of unlocking its dark secrets, but I no longer have to dream.

(A red glow surrounds Mozenrath's hand, then spreads to the book. The face on the book's cover comes to life, and the book starts to float.)

Khartoum: Finally, someone worthy of my magic has released me. What is it that you seek?

Mozenrath: Oh, not much really. Just… all of your secrets!

Khartoum: Ah, a wizard with a taste for power. I like that.

(The book opens and starts flipping through its pages.)

Khartoum: The key to all of the magical secrets in the cosmos is held within the Philosopher's Stone. (the book shows a picture of a blue gem)

Mozenrath: Yes! Where can I find this stone?

Khartoum: You do not find it. You make it. First you must build a furnace to heat a small quantity of sands, crystals, and flakes of gold.

Mozenrath: Mere child's play.

Khartoum: There is one element that is absolutely essential. A cosmic power source strong enough to heat the furnace.

Mozenrath: Oh, I know just what could provide such power…

(Setting: the palace of Agrabah. Genie is pacing back and forth while Aladdin, Iago, and Abu watch.)

Genie: Bowling? Oh no, boring. Dancing? Ugh, dullsville. Yachting? Yuck!

Aladdin: You're worrying too much, Genie. There's lots of fun things to do.

Genie: But this is a big, big night, Al! It's the anniversary of the first time I saw… Eden.

(Genie takes out a wallet full of pictures of the female genie Eden, who he met in "Some Enchanted Genie".)

Genie: When we met, pigs flew in outer space and played croquet! It was more than semi-phenomenal, it was nearly, totally cosmic!

Iago: (yawns) Please, spare me the details. I'll read about it in tomorrow's tabloid: "Genie's Not-So-Secret Love Life."

Genie: (creates a pink book with a heart on the cover) Now let's see, "The Big Book of Everything There Is to Do on a Big Date with the Absolute Love of Your Life (and More)." There's gotta be something in here!

Iago: What's all the fuss? How hard can it be for two genies to have fun? You can go through a paper shredder and call it a party!

Abu: Yeah! Uh huh, uh huh!

Genie: It's not that simple, guys.

Aladdin: Sure it is, Genie. Why don't you take Eden for a romantic stroll down by the ocean?

Genie: Wait, I've got it! Since Jasmine's off on a caravan now, you won't be busy! So you can tag along and give me helpful hints!

Aladdin: No, no, you'll do fine, Genie. Trust me.

Genie: You're right, Al. I'm a big boy. (turns into a kid on a skateboard) I can do this. I know I can. (skateboards away)

Aladdin: Have fun, Genie! I won't wait up for ya!

Iago: (whispering to Abu) I've got to see this date. You with me, monkey boy?

(Abu makes a sound agreeing with him.)

Iago: I haven't had a good laugh in a long time! (they follow Genie)

(The beach, later that night. Genie is waiting, holding a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.)

Genie: Ah, romance. I can practically smell it in the air. (takes a deep breath) That's some romance!

(Genie turns around and notices two camels standing behind him. One licks his face. Genie then notices that the camels are attached to a carriage, being driven by a cloaked and hooded figure.)

Genie: Yes! A camel ride with Eden along the beach would be the perfect thing to do! (gets into the carriage)

(The carriage begins to move. We can see that the driver is wearing one glove on his right hand.)

Genie: (sighs) Eden will be here any moment. She'll love this.

(Iago and Abu watch from behind a dune as the carriage starts to leave the beach.)

Iago: What's a carriage doing in the middle of nowhere?

Abu: I don't know.

Genie: Uh, excuse me, driver, but we're supposed to stay on the beach. This just isn't right.

(The driver removes his hood; it's Mozenrath.)

Mozenrath: There's been a change in plans. A big change.

Genie: (gasps) Mozenrath!

(A lid closes over the top of the carriage, trapping Genie.)

(Abu starts to scream, but Iago covers his mouth.)

Iago: Clam up, monkey boy! Or we'll end up as appetizers on Mozenrath's luncheon plate!

Genie: (trying to bust out of the carriage) Is there an extra charge for this?

Mozenrath: For you? It's a free ride.

(Mozenrath and the carriage disappear in a puff of blue and black smoke.)

Iago: Looks like Genie's gonna be late for that date.

(Setting: Mozenrath's lab. Mozenrath and Genie appear. Genie is trapped inside a giant glass bottle that is attached by tubes to a large furnace.)

Genie: Don't tell me… magic proof glass, 100%.

Khartoum: Very clever, Mozenrath. A genie. You will certainly be able to provide the power necessary to create the Philosopher's Stone.

Mozenrath: When I want something, I get it.

Genie: Oh, you need to get out more often, man. You're talking to books now! Let's face it, you're a basket case!

Mozenrath: You have no choice! I need every last drop of your spirit.

Genie: But, uh, then what will become of little ol' me?

Mozenrath: You'll be nothing. Less than nothing, actually.

Xerxes: (laughing) Nothing! Nothing!

(Setting: the throne room in the palace of Agrabah. Aladdin is there with Eden and Dondi.)

Eden: Nothing! Not even a phone call to say he was going to be late! It's really not like him.

Aladdin: I don't get it. Genie was really excited about seeing you tonight, Eden.

Dondi: I hope he's all right. Ever since the day Eden met Genie she hasn't stopped talking about him.

Eden: Oh dear. A million things could have happened to him.

Aladdin: It may not be that bad, Eden.

(Iago and Abu run into the room.)

Iago: It's worse! Mozenrath took Genie for a ride!

Eden: (turns into a dragon) Someone stole my Genie?! (turns into a mushroom cloud, then a giant boot) I'll squash him like a bug! (turns into a bodybuilder) I'll tear him to pieces.

Iago: Better make a note, monkey: don't ever get on this girl's bad side!

Abu: Uh huh!

Eden: Where does this Mozenrath live?

Aladdin: In the Land of the Black Sand.

Eden: Well, Mozenrath is going to wish he'd never messed with my man! (turns her tail into a rocket and blasts out of the palace)

Aladdin: We'd better follow her, guys. If Mozenrath is involved, she's gonna need our help. You stay here, Dondi. This could be dangerous. (whistles) Carpet!

(Carpet enters; Aladdin and Abu climb on and the fly after Eden.)

Iago: (sarcastically) Oh, boy, just what I needed. A night on the town with a lovestruck genie on the warpath. (flies after the others) How did I get so lucky?

(Setting: Mozenrath's lab. Mozenrath is placing the ingredients for the Philosopher's stone inside the furnace.)

Khartoum: Excellent, Mozenrath. You have followed my directions perfectly. With this furnace you will soon gain unimaginable power.

Mozenrath: I can practically taste it already. I only hunger for the Philosopher's Stone.

Genie: (turns into a doctor and starts flipping through a book) Let's see, Philosopher's Stone… 75% fat! 50,000 calories! Oh, nope, not good at all! Your cholesterol count will really blow up with that.

Mozenrath: Enough!

(Mozenrath shoots fire from his gauntlet at the furnace, lighting it. Genie's magic starts being drained from him into the furnace.)

Genie: Ugh, this is really gonna put a crimp in my day. (starts getting thinner)

Xerxes: (laughs) It's working! Good!

Mozenrath: Yes. And soon I will have all the power of the cosmos!

(The furnace starts to go out.)

Mozenrath: What?!

Khartoum: Is something wrong?

Xerxes: Not working. Not good.

Genie: (panting) Come on, guys, lighten up! You can't burn the genie at both ends! It's in the manual.

Khartoum: The genie obviously isn't powerful enough to heat the furnace.

Mozenrath: No! Not when I'm so close!

Khartoum: Then you must get more power, or your dreams of unlocking the cosmos's greatest secrets will be dashed forever.

(Setting: the city in the Land of the Black Sand. Eden flies toward the city.)

Eden: Hang on, boyfriend! I'm coming to get ya! (she lands in a city street) Yes! Right on target. Town looks dead. Shouldn't be too hard to find Genie.

(Two mamluks walk around a corner.)

Eden: Just tell me where Genie is and I'll be gentle.

(The mamluks try to attack Eden.)

Eden: I see. I guess we'll do it your way. (grabs each mamluk by an arm and swings them around, breaking them to pieces) I hope you have health insurance! Ha ha ha! (notices she is holding the mamluks' disembodied arms) Oo, you guys sure fall apart easily.

(Aladdin and the others approach the city on Carpet.)

Aladdin: Hurry, Carpet. There's no telling what kind of trouble Genie and Eden might be in!

Iago: I've got a bad feeling the fun's starting without us!

(Eden comes to the gates of the Citadel. The mamluks guarding it try to attack Eden.)

Eden: Boy, for undead guys you've got a lot of spirit! (zaps the mamluks and they fall to pieces)

Mozenrath: (looking down from a window) This is wonderful!

Xerxes: Wonderful?

Mozenrath: Look at her, Xerxes! She's young, she's vivacious, and she's full of cosmic energy! That genie will provide the perfect power boost we're looking for.

(The Citadel gates open and more mamluks come out.)

Eden: You boys obviously don't know the meaning of the word "quit"! (turns into a biker) And neither do I, baby! (runs down the mamluks with her motorcycle and rides into the Citadel)

(Mamluk pieces are thrown into the air and past Carpet as they chase after Eden.)

Iago: Yuck!

Aladdin: Eden!

Eden: Aladdin, I've got everything under control!

Iago: You heard the girl, Al. We can go home. She doesn't need us.

Aladdin: But Genie does.

(The Citadel gates start to close. Carpet tries to fly inside, but a mamluk grabs on to him, holding him back.)

Iago: I hate hitchhikers, especially undead ones!

(The mamluk is lifted up into the air as Carpet flies through the gate and is caught in the gate as it closes.)

Aladdin: Where did Eden go?

(Eden is searching in another part of the Citadel.)

Eden: Genie? Genie?

(Mozenrath appears near her.)

Mozenrath: Looking for someone?

Eden: You must be Mozenrath.

Mozenrath: At your service.

Eden: Okay, pal. I'll be short and to the point. LET MY GENIE GO!

Mozenrath: Your genie? How cute. (singing) Genie's got a girlfriend…

Xerxes: (singing) Girlfriend, girlfriend!

Eden: (turns into a a snarling wolf) Let him go, or you're dead meat!

Mozenrath: Oh, really? Oh, if even a hair on my head is harmed your blue beau will be in worse shape than he is now.

Eden: (changes back to normal) "Now?" What do you mean?

Mozenrath: Why talk about it when I can show you? (transports them to the lab)

Eden: Oh no! Genie! (runs up to Genie, who is starting to look like an old man) Are you all right?

Genie: Eden, I'm sorry about our date tonight. I'm just not feeling one hundred percent. Don't worry. A few thousand years of sit ups and leg lifts and I'll be in tip-top shape.

Eden: What have you done to him, you brute?!

Mozenrath: He's merely lending me a helping hand.

Khartoum: Isn't that what friends are for?

(Aladdin and the others enter the lab.)

Iago: Oh, great. Mozenrath's made a new friend, and he's a book with a big mouth.

Mozenrath: Aladdin! What an unpleasant surprise to see you.

Aladdin: Be careful, Eden. You can't trust Mozenrath.

Eden: I'm not worried, Aladdin. (turns into a hammer) I'll get Genie out. (starts hammering on Genie's bottle)

Mozenrath: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

(Mozenrath shoots black and blue fire at Genie, who cries out in pain.)

Eden: Genie! My darling! I'm so sorry!

Genie: I'm okay. But I think i'm going to have a really bad headache in the morning.

Aladdin: Maybe we can rush Mozenrath.

Eden: It's no use. Genie is at his mercy. Mozenrath, if you let Genie go I will take his place.

Mozenrath: Hmm, interesting proposition.

Iago: Now I know this girl is one gumdrop short of a fruitcake!

Mozenrath: I've considered your offer, genie, and it's a deal. You in exchange for him. Why don't we shake on it?

Aladdin: Eden, no! Don't!

(Eden touches Mozenrath's gauntlet and is surrounded by his magic.)

Eden: What? What's happening?

(Eden appears inside a second glass bottle.)

Eden: You cheated me!

Aladdin: Double-crosser!

Mozenrath: Ooh, big surprise. Now I will have twice the power to run my furnace.

Aladdin: Not as long as I'm around.

Mozenrath: Then you won't be around! (throws Aladdin out the window with his magic)

(Carpet starts to charge at Mozenrath.)

Iago: Carpet, are you out of your mind?!

(Mozenrath throws the others out as well. They all land in the desert far from the Citadel.)

Iago: Do we get frequent flier miles for this trip?

(Back in Mozenrath's lab)

Khartoum: Excellent, Mozenrath. Soon the Philosopher's Stone will be ready.

Mozenrath: Yes. And I will be the most powerful wizard ever!

(Having their magic drained has made Genie and Eden age rapidly.)

Genie: I always thought we'd grow old together, Eden, but not this fast.

Eden: (blows Genie a kiss) At least we had Agrabah.

Khartoum: The Philosopher's Stone is ready!

(Mozenrath opens the furnace and removes the Philosopher's Stone, but it then floats out of his hand towards Khartoum.)

Mozenrath: What?!

(The Stone embeds itself in Khartoum's "turban".)

Khartoum: At last! I am free!

(Khartoum's body rises out of the book.)

Khartoum: The power of the cosmos is finally mine!

Mozenrath: No! The power was supposed to be mine!

Khartoum: Fool. (zaps Mozenrath with magic) It was never meant to be yours.

Mozenrath: You… you used me!

Khartoum: Naturally. I needed someone greedy enough to create the Stone and release me from my prison. And you were that someone. Now, thanks to you, the world will tremble before the great Khartoum! It's been many centuries since my enemies trapped me inside this accursed book. But now, with the Philosopher's Stone in place, no one shall ever imprison me again. (throws the book across the room towards the genies)

Genie: Next time, Moze, watch what you order from the Book of the Millennium Club!

Mozenrath: Khartoum, that stone is mine! I made it! (shoots magic at Khartoum, who deflects it)

Khartoum: Your magic is just a parlor trick to me, boy. Mine, on the other hand, is limitless.

(Khartoum begins to rapidly grow larger until he almost reaches the ceiling.)

Genie: It's amazing how fast these youngins grow up these days!

Khartoum: The Philosopher's Stone is getting much, much stronger! And so am I!

(Bolts of magic shoot from Khartoum's hands, causing the Citadel's walls and ceiling to start to crumble. Mozenrath ducks under a table to avoid the falling debris.)

Genie: And I thought wonder boy was twisted! This guy takes the cake!

Eden: And all the candles, too!

(Aladdin and the others are flying back to the Citadel. From a distance they can see the light from Khartoum's magic and crashing sounds as it destroys the building.)

Iago: Call me silly, but something tells me this isn't the best time to drop in on Mozenrath!

Aladdin: Maybe not, but we've got to save Genie and Eden.

(Inside the Citadel)

Mozenrath: I won't let you cheat me out of what's rightfully mine! (shoots a stream of magic at the Philosopher's Stone on Khartoum's turban)

Khartoum: Your magic is useless against me.

(Khartoum starts zapping magic at Mozenrath, who runs out of the way.)

Eden: Genie, we might have to take a raincheck on our date, permanently.

Aladdin: (entering the lab) Looks like Mozenrath bit off more than he could chew.

Iago: Couldn't happen to a nicer maniac.

(Mozenrath tries to zap Khartoum again and misses.)

Khartoum: Enough! No more games!

(Khartoum shoots magic at Mozenrath's gauntlet. He tries to fire back, but the gauntlet won't work.)

Mozenrath: What? My power! It's gone!

Khartoum: First your magic, now you!

(Mozenrath starts to run away, but Aladdin blocks his path.)

Aladdin: Too bad you can't finish what you started, Mozenrath.

Mozenrath: Every moment the power of the Philosopher's Stone grows!

(Genie and Eden are looking at Khartoum's book, which is open on the floor near them.)

Genie: Uh oh! There's a limited warranty on the Philosopher's Stone! Says here that if its power grows without proper maintenance the Stone will self-destruct!

Eden: It already looks like it's gonna blow!

Mozenrath: Nothing can help us now!

Iago: I'm with the kid! We're doomed!

Aladdin: Well, I'm not leaving until Genie and Eden are safe!

(Mozenrath runs from Khartoum's magic, but is trapped by falling rubble.)

Mozenrath: No!

(Carpet is also trapped in the rubble. Aladdin runs up to Genie and Eden.)

Aladdin: Just hang on!

(Aladdin picks up the glass bottles that the genies are being held in and throws them to the floor, where they disappear in a puff of smoke.)

Khartoum: After I finish you, Mozenrath, I'll take care of your little friends.

Aladdin: Come on, Genie! We gotta go!

Genie: Don't worry, Al. I can handle Khartoum. (turns into a dragon, but starts coughing when he tries to breathe fire)

Mozenrath: No! It's not fair! (pulls himself out of the rubble and runs away just in time to escape another bolt of Khartoum's magic)

Aladdin: You both have to get your strength back.

Eden: That could take centuries!

Genie: Well… we could combine our powers with the legendary Genie Embrace! It's supposed to increase one's ability to yodel upside-down, dry clean undershorts in record time, and restore weakened genies to their full power.

(Khartoum has now grown so large that his head is sticking through the roof of the Citadel.)

Aladdin: Do you think the Genie Embrace will work?

Genie: Don't know, never done it.

Eden: Well, there's only one way to find out!

(Genie and Eden hug, and they are restored to their normal selves.)

Genie: I feel like a million bucks! With a whole lot of change to spare.

Eden: Me too!

Genie: Then lead the way, genie woman!

(Genie takes Eden's hand, and they fly up through the ceiling. Aladdin goes to where Carpet is trapped and digs him out.)

Aladdin: Let's go, Carpet!

Khartoum: No one is going anywhere.

(Genie and Eden are now in front of Khartoum's face. Genie turns into a fashion designer.)

Genie: Horrors! That turban went out of style ages ago!

Eden: And that atrocious rock! It's much too gaudy!

Khartoum: Pests! (tries to smash the genies with his hands, but they escape)

Genie: Yoo hoo! Oh Khartoumy! Over here!

(While Khartoum is distracted, Eden unwinds Khartoum's turban, causing the Philosopher's Stone to fall out.)

Eden: There, much better. Fabulous!

(Genie puts on oven mitts and catches the falling Stone.)

Khartoum: No! (starts to shrink, and is pulled back inside his book) Oh, not again!

Mozenrath: (to Khartoum) You fool! You ruined everything!

Aladdin: Well, you know what they say. You can't judge a book by its cover. (laughs)

(Genie and Eden are carrying the Philosopher's Stone high up into the sky.)

Genie: Hmm, this bird's just about done. (sticks a thermometer on the Stone) It's just a few degrees short of total annihilation. (the thermometer explodes)

Eden: Shall we take it for a ride?

Genie: Love to.

(They fly even higher.)

Eden: Save yourself, Genie!

Genie: Never, sweet love. For you and me it's all or nothing.

(The Philosopher's Stone explodes. Khartoum's book disappears.)

Aladdin: I can't believe it. They sacrificed themselves.

Mozenrath: Who cares? I lost everything.

(It starts to rain.)

Iago: Oh, great! And me without an umbrella!

(The raindrops become Genie and Eden.)

Aladdin: Genie! Eden! You guys are okay!

Iago: Yeah! (high-fives Abu)

Genie: Now that was a phenomenally cosmic anniversary!

Eden: Like the Genie Embrace, it's legendary.

(Genie and Eden fly out through the roof, holding hands, followed by Aladdin, Abu, and Iago on Carpet.)

Iago: (shouting down to Mozenrath) Next time just send flowers and a card! You'll live longer that way!