A Very Brady Sequel


 * [all the Brady kids and Alice are tied together by a staircase from Roy Martin, who left and kidnapped mom, they all think in their heads]
 * Bobby Brady: If I had been a better detective, I would've been on Mr. Martin sooner. This is all my fault.
 * Cindy Brady: If I wasn't too busy looking for my doll, I would've seen something suspicious. This is all my fault.
 * Kitty Carry-all: I bet he wouldn't have tied me up if I was Barbie. This is all my fault.
 * Peter Brady: What a dumb-head I am. I guess Roy was not much of a hero after all. This is all my fault.
 * Alice: I must've not put enough mushrooms in his spaghetti sauce. This is all my fault.
 * Greg Brady: Marcia looks great in those ropes... Wait a minute, what am I saying? This is all my fault!
 * Jan Brady: It was wrong to make up George Glass. This is all my fault!
 * Marcia: This is all Jan's fault.


 * Cindy Brady: You can't take my mommy!
 * Marcia Brady: Cindy's right! Take Jan!


 * [Asked where Marcia is]
 * Cindy: She's over there getting lei'd by those Hawaiian boys.


 * Jan Brady: His name is George.
 * Marcia Brady: George what?
 * Jan Brady: George, uhhh Tropicana!
 * Carol Brady: What a nice name. Is he Cuban?
 * Jan Brady: No i mean... Glass. George Glass
 * Marcia Brady: That's funny. I've never heard of a George Glass at our school.
 * Jan Brady: That's because he's a transfer student. He came in the last week of school. He's really good looking and he thinks I'm super cool.
 * Marcia Brady: Sure, Jan.


 * Carol: I wish I could be gay again.


 * Carol: Careful, Mike. he's got a gun.
 * Roy: I don't need a gun to take care of you. I am going to kick your Brady butt.
 * Cindy: He said the "B" word.


 * Mike Brady: A gift is only a good thing when the giver has given thought to that gift. But when the gift the giver gives gives grief, then that gift should give the givee regrets.


 * Marcia: [brushing her hair and counting] One, two, three, four.
 * [noticing Greg undressing through the curtain]
 * Marcia: Four, four, four.
 * Greg Brady: Marcia?
 * Marcia: [seductively] Yes, Greg? [normal voice] I mean, what?
 * Greg Brady: If Roy really is Mom's husband, then does that mean.
 * Marcia: We're not brother and sister?


 * [Walks out]
 * Roy Martin: [laughing] The ones from my room. [Stops laughing] My room? The one's from my. Oh no!
 * Carol Brady: Roy, are you all right?
 * [the song "Good Morning Starshine" begins, and the flowers on Carol's dress animate and float around her face]
 * Carol Brady: Roy, are you all right?
 * Roy Martin: Oh God! I'm tripping with the Bradys!


 * [after Carol has fainted]
 * Mike Brady, Roy Martin: Honey, are you all right?
 * [they stare at each other]
 * Carol Brady: [not surprised] I'm all right.


 * Mike Brady: Us Bradys have to stick together, or we'll fall apart. Much like that house of cards. You see, a deck consists of 52 cards, and if the hearts didn't work with the diamonds and the spades with the clubs, then how the heck would we ever play a game of Gin Rummy? So, in keeping with the spirit of togetherness, I'm sure you kids know the right thing to do.


 * Mike Brady: You seem to be having quite an effect on Peter, Roy.
 * Roy Martin: Well, it's like I always say: "Veni, Vidi, Vici. I came, I saw, I conquered".
 * Mike Brady: Well, like I always say: "Caveat Emptor".
 * Roy Martin: Doesn't that mean "Buyer Beware"?
 * Mike Brady: Yes yes it does.