New Friend, Old Enemy

1x04 - New Friend, Old Enemy [grunting] [dramatic music] Master Shredder. I trust that my greatest pupil has been using that time wisely. I have assembled an army of ninjas. The Foot Clan awaits your orders. Excellent. Because I've discovered an old enemy in New York. Hamato Yoshi. Hamato Yoshi? Alive? And he is training ninjas of his own. Finally, I will finish what I started all those years ago. I want them all wiped out. - I will not fail you, master. - I know. But to be certain, you will work alongside Xever. I don't need any help. Especially from this street rat. - Are you sure, rich boy? - Anytime you want to test me I am not interested in your petty rivalry! Xever is familiar with the dark underbelly of this city. You will work together. Don't worry, master Shredder. We will find Splinter and his disciples and destroy them. Hah! Hiyah! [rock music] Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell, turtle power! Here we go, it's the lean green ninja team on the scene, cool teens doing ninja things so extreme, out the sewer like laser beams get rocked with the shell shock pizza kings can't stop these radical dudes the secret of the ooze made the chosen few emerge from the shadows to make their move the good guys win and the bad guys lose. Leonardo's the leader in blue does anything it takes to get his ninjas through Donatello is the fellow has a way with machines Raphael's got the most attitude on the team Michelangelo, he's one of a kind and you know just where to find him when it's party time. Master Splinter taught them every single skill they need to be one lean mean green incredible team! Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell, turtle power! Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Check it out! Yehee! Ha-ha! Top that, turtle chumps! All right, guys. Check this out. - Whoa! - Cute, kiddies. [screaming] [grunting] [groaning] [laughing] Hey, what was that? You didn't do any flips. Oops. [creaking] [suspenseful music] [kitten mews] Don't give up, Leo. You might actually win this fight. Aww! It's a little kitty. - And its name is - Mittens! Good guess. Wait, who said that? Mittens? I think that's the owner. - What are you doing? - Whoa, hey! Mikey, wait! What? I'm returning Mittens to her owner. Are you an idiot? Wait let me rephrase that. - You're an idiot! - You can't show yourself to a human. Why not? Because they'll freak the heck out, that's why not. No, they won't. I'm not so scary. You're an ugly, green mutant armed with ninja weapons. Look, this guy's gonna see that I'm just a regular, cat-loving dude like him. Next thing you know, we'll be best buds. This is gonna be awesome! - No! - Don't! - Wait! - Mittens! Hi. Here's your [screams] Ugly, green mutant freak! - But I got your cat! - Help! He's got my cat! Dude, chill! I'm just Aah! [cat squealing] [screams] Someone want to help me with this? [cat snarling] All: No. [cat snarling] [cat screeching] [crash] Face it. Humans will never understand you. Heck, we don't even understand you. [sighs] Yeah. [gasps] But I bet that guy would! Chris Bradford. The martial arts superstar. With a chain of dojos across the country. He's your soul mate? - We've got so much in common. - What if you stop standing like that? We'll have a little less in common, but still a lot. And look, he's in town for a Martial Arts Expo. Maybe he'll show me his secret kata, "the death dragon. " And I'll show him my secret kata, "the secret kata. " - Catchy. - Check it out. [shouting] [whoops] - But don't tell anyone you saw that. - No problem. Face it, Mikey, Chris Bradford is the last person on Earth that would be friends with you. Well, tied for last, with everyone else on Earth. [dramatic music] - Ninjas? In New York? - Other than us? [all grunting] Why are you so happy? It's just nice to finally be fighting people, instead of robots, or aliens, or weed-monsters. What are you? [siren wailing] [tires screech] Their leader was crazy good, by which I mean he was good and seemed a little crazy. Besides, he had all these guys with him. - It it wasn't a fair fight. - What do you mean, "fair fight"? A fair fight, you know, where either side could win? So a fair fight is a fight you could lose. Well, yes, but - Well, what I what I mean is - You don't want to assure your victory. No, I do, but Ow! Hey! - Was that fair? - No! Did I win? - I see your point. - Seek victory, not fairness. Hai, sensei. [grunts] Whoa, that's rad! Oh, I wish me and Chris Bradford were friends! [laughing] Mikey, you already have a human friend. - Me! - April, you don't count. We saved your life, you have to like us. Too bad there's no place for freaks to meet people where no one can see how hideous they are. Wait, there is the internet! Donnie, can I see your laptop? Uh, y uh, sure! Just a sec. Check it out, it's a site where you can make friends - with anybody online. - Sweet! [gasps] Ohh, Chris Bradford's on here! He'll be my first friend! Mikey, people don't always respond immed [laptop beeps] But sometimes they do. [gasps] No way! Chris Bradford has accepted my friendship! I have a friend! Thanks, April! - Where are you going? - Hey! To hang out with my friend, Chris Bradford. This guy's famous. He probably has thousands of "friends. " And guess who's number 5,286? - You? - Daniel Ramirez! And I'm right next to him. Later! - Well, this ought to be interesting. - Should we go after him? Eh, he's gotta learn somehow. [giggles] What up? Hey. I'm [shouts] I'm being attacked by Chris Bradford! This is so cool! [screams] No, wait! We're - Whoa! Friends! - What? We're online friends! You accepted me, remember? Oh. Of course. Nice to meet you. [awestruck giggling] Uh Won't you come in? They must have been watching us from here. The perfect place to stage an ambush. It wasn't very fair, was it? It's not about fairness. It's about victory. Okay, I'm sorry. And then and then Chris Bradford put on his hakama. Man, that guy can rock a hakama! Yeah, maybe he'll wear it again when he takes you to the prom. - And then after that, he - Oh, enough! You've been going on about this for three hours. Ooh, someone sounds jealous. You just can't admit that you were the "R" word. "Rong"? [disgusted sighs] [scoffing] I'm not wrong. Oh, yeah? If you don't want to talk about my friend [grunts] I've got two other brothers who do. Actually, I'd rather talk about anything else. Like the concept of the silent "W," perhaps? Fine. Heh, I'll go talk to a guy who likes to talk about Chris Bradford more than anyone else: Chris Bradford. [grunting] There's my best buddy in the whole world! [groans] Michelangelo, Mikey, the Big M. How you doing, buddy? I am stupendous, Chris. Chrissy B I gotta work on your nickname. Ooh Rad-Brad! You know, I was just thinking how we're such close friends, - and yet I know so little about you. - You think we're close friends? Of course! Now tell me everything about you. Well, where should I start? Ooh I named all six of my toes! How interesti Ugh! There's Stubby and Joey nails Oh, that's that that's fascinating. But I was thinking more about your impressive ninjitsu skills. - You must have an incredible sensei. - Oh, he is the best. Now meet the stinky triplets! Ugh okay! [chuckling] - Who's hungry? - Me! I want pizza! - Do you like pizza? - Yeah, sure. Whoa. We have so much in common. [gulps] Isn't this great? Blue skies, pizza, couple of dudes just hangin'. [rat squeaking] Yeah, great. Since we've gotten so close, maybe you could tell me a little more about your brothers. [with mouth full] Oh oh, yeah. Uh, they're good dudes. But sometimes I don't think they respect me. [munching sloppily] Uh, I can't imagine why. Cool. [gasps] Look at that katana! That looks old. Yes, yes, it's over 400 years old. [chuckles uncomfortably] - But getting back to your sensei - Look, Rad-Brad, I'd love to tell you, but there's just some things I have to keep secret. [gasps] But we're friends. And friends share their secrets, don't they? Are you saying you're going to show me your secret kata, "the death dragon?" Tell you what. As a show of trust and friendship, I will teach you the death dragon. All right! But you have to swear not to show it to anyone. I promise I won't show a soul. And then he kicks, twists, and sweeps the leg Ha! The death dragon. That was amazing! Yeah, it's devastatingly effective and complex. - And yet even Mikey could learn it. - Thank you. Hey! [laptop beeping] It's Rad-Brad! That's my little name for him. He wants to get together for a little B-ball. Can't wait to find out what the "B" stands for! You're going now? Sorry, dudes, human friend stuff. You know how it is. Oh, wait. No, you don't. [chuckles] The freak is on his way. The trap is set. Pretty weapon for a tough guy. In prison, we made our own weapons. I'll keep that in mind if I'm ever stupid enough to wind up in prison. [grunting] - Not quite. - Wait, I think I got it. [dramatic music] Where did you learn that? Mikey learned it from his new friend. The man who taught him that kata is no friend! - It comes from the Shredder. - Shredder? You mean Bradford is one of his students? He must be. So Bradford's just pretending to be Mikey's friend to get to you. Ohh, what a relief! Everything makes sense again. Mikey's in trouble! Rad-Brad? Hello? Hello? Raddie-Braddie? Did you plan me a surprise party? [startled yell] [ominous music] [grunts] Whoa! Uh Tell me what you've done with Chris, or you guys are in serious [all grunting] [chuckles] - Haven't you figured out who I am? - Should I have? [both grunting] [chuckles] We've already met face-to-face. No. It can't be. You're the guy with the cat? You fool. Rad-Brad? What? I thought we were friends. I introduced you to all of my toes. You actually thought someone like me could be friends with a freak like you? - Pathetic! - I say we get rid of him. Nothing would make me happier. [gulps] But we need him. All part of the trap. Rad-Brad? [rock music] [unsheathes sword] [grunting] Dudes! That was sporadic! - Shh! - Shh! [quietly] That's not what that means! [water splashing] - Perfect. - We've got them. [rat squeaking] [manhole cover sliding] [grunts] Show your faces! They've trapped us! Take 'em down! [all grunting] Ha! [all grunting] [fingers snap] They knew we were following them. That's right. Sweep the leg! Hit it! [screaming] [grunting] [both screaming] - Well, that didn't seem very fair. - No, it wasn't. [all chuckling] High three! Um, sensei, aren't you hungry? - I fear we are celebrating too soon. - Too soon? The bad guys were swept away in a river of raw sewage. By my watch, that makes it the perfect time. Shredder knows I'm alive. And worse, he knows about all of you. It's my worst nightmare come true. - So it's not over? - Oh, no. It's just beginning. [laptop beeping] - How you doing, Mikey? - This was all my fault. I should have never thought I could be friends with a human. Eh, don't be so hard on yourself. - So it's not my fault? - Of course it's your fault. [sighs] If you tell the others, I'll beat the green off you, but you're an awesome guy. Bradford didn't think so. Eh, he's a psychotic killing machine. You deserve way better friends than him. You know what? You're right. - Thanks, Raph. - Anytime. Unfriend. Ha-ha! Revenge!