How Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse Should Have Ended

Open with Spider-Man's recap based off the movie with the Peter Parker from Miles' universe.

Spider-Man: Okay, let's go through this one more time. My name is Peter Parker. I've had several Spider-Man movies, and for the last 14 years, I've had a few "How It Should Have Ended"s I jumped out of the way of some grenades, I argued with a talking lizard, I decided to become an Avenger, I uh, I even did this..

(flashback to The Amazing Spider-Man 2 HISHE) Andrew Garfield attempts to murder Batman.

Andrew Garfield: I will shoot this mortal man in the face!

Spider-Man: That one, that got dark. I'm not gonna lie. But hey! At least I predicted the Marvel and Sony deal! So there's that! Anyway, for years, I've always had a second chance at how it should have...

Guy from Spider-Man 3 (2007) HISHE appears now as a grown man.

Man: Spider-Man, would you stop narrating please?

Spider-Man: What? Wait, are you that same kid from forever ago?

Man: Yes.

Spider-Man: Wow. Now I feel old.

Man: you were narrating. It's still kind of unnecessary.

Spider-Man: But it's not! Look, kid, it's kind of my thing. I narrate. I'm sorry it's just what I...

Man: No narrating!

Spider-Man: Okay fine. Let's just see how Spider-Verse should have ended.

Cue title: How Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse Should Have Ended

Open when Miles arrives at school late.

Miles' teacher: Mr. Morales, you're late again.

Miles: Einstein said time was relative right? Maybe i'm not late. Maybe you guys are just early.

Cut to a view of the class. One of them is Gwen Stacy (Spider-Gwen) from another another dimension.

Gwen laughs a little.

Gwen: I'm sorry. It just was really quiet.

Miles' teacher: Wait a minute, you're not one of my students! Who are you?!

Gwen: Uh... (starts glitching out)

Everyone: Whoa! What was that?

Fast Forward to when Spider-Man (Peter Parker from mile's universe) almost dies.

Spider-Man: Swing up there, push the key, and blow it up. There's not much time.

Miles: But I don't know how to get up there.

Spider-Man: Don't worry. It's taken care of. (swings a web to the ceiling) Here. Take this.

Miles takes the web and flings upwards.

Miles: WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Miles sees the spot.

Miles: Oh!

Fast Forward to when the villains come up with a plan.

Doctor Octopus: All we have to do is kill a couple of spiders and then we can bring your family back, as many families as you want.

Kingpin: Tomorrow, my collider.

Smart Scientist: Here's a bright idea. Why don't you just do the thing now, instead of giving the good guys time to figure out a plan to stop you?

Kingpin: Good point. Not tomorrow, let's do it now. I'll see you at the collider.

Cut to later at the Villain pub.

Kingpin: So, i got my wife and kid back! (laughs)

Voldemort: Well, they're not really your wife and kid. You stole them from a different dimension.

Joker: yeah! What if the other you gets super pissed and vows revenge? (laughs)

Kingpin: That's not gonna happen.

Kingpin from Peter B Parker's universe shows up.

Kingpin (Peter B Parker's universe): You! l'll kill you! (attacks him)

Fast forward to when Prowler attacks Miles in cloak form.

Prowler: You know I have thermal vision, right? I can see you.

Voice: Play dumb!

Miles: No, you can't.

Voice: Not that dumb!

Prowler attacks him.

Fast forward to when Prowler almost kills his own nephew.

Miles: Uncle Aaron, please!

Kingpin, what are you waiting for? Finish it.

Miles' spidey sense goes out.

Miles: Spidey sense! (saves him from getting killed by Kingpin) Save your life!

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker) moves him out of the way.

Spider-Man: (Peter B Parker): That's not nice!You alright kid?

Prowler: Whoa, thanks Miles. You saved my life.

Miles: You're welcome uncle Aaron.

The Spider-Gang show up with the bad guys webbed up, literally.

Spider-Ham: But you're still going to prison!

Prowler: Aw man!

Fast forward to the final battle.

Kingpin: You took my family! Now I'm gonna make sure you never see yours again! (smashes Miles like how he smashes the previous Spider-Man) Kingpin Smash!

Jefferson Davis: Get up, Spider-Man.

Miles tries to but Kingpin smashes him more and he dies as a result and his comic gets removed from the pile.

OR

Kingpin: You took my family! Now I'm gonna make sure you never see yours agai... (gets shot by Jefferson Davis and dies)

Spider-Man (Miles): Dad?!

Jefferson Davis: Miles?!

Spider-Man (Miles): I mean, uh... (coughs then deepens his voice) Thank you for your bravery tonight!

But this is how it really should have ended...

We see miles chilling in his bedroom when a portal opens up.

Gwen: Miles! Miles! Got a minute?

We see all the Spider-Verse characters in the Super Cafe as well as Superman and Batman.

Spider-Gwen: We forgot to do your cafe scene!

Spider-Man (Miles): Cafe scene?

Spider-Ham: It's like a tradition!

Superman: Hey! Nice job, kid!

Spider-Man (Miles): Is that Batman and Superman?

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker): (to Miles) Yeah, they just sit here all the time and pass judgement on people's work, it's kind of sad, but it's all they got, so just go along with it. (to everyone) Hey fellas! Did you hear about how we saved the universe?!

Superman: Yes we did! Congratulations! I mean it's a miracle you and your dad survived that explosion without a scratch, but whatever!

Spider-Man Noir: I don't think that sounds weird.

Peni: Yeah, sounds normal to me!

Spider-Ham: I survive explosions all the time!

Superman: Bruce, what'd you think?

Batman: I don't know, felt like you copied a lot from the Bat-Universe if you asked me.

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker): What? Copied? How?

Batman: Uh, Spider-Man's batcave!

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker): Plenty of heroes have a secret lair!

Batman: Family member dies in an alley!

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker): That's like standard hero motivation!

Batman: Noir guy! You can't tell me he's not a Batman knock off! (to Spider-Man Noir) you're my favorite though by the way.

Spider-Man Noir: Thanks.

Batman: Pig man! I don't know, you remind me kind of like Looney Tunes, so WB, close enough.

Spider-Ham: And l'm not sorry!

Batman: And you three. Well, l can't really think of anything yet, but l'll think of something.

Spider-Man (Miles): Why is Batman so grumpy?

Spider-Ham: Is it because he's Batman?

Peni: Should I offer him some candy?

Superman: Shh, l think you're just trying to find reasons to be negative.

Batman: No I'm not!

Superman: Yes you are!

Batman: Okay, you got me I am. I don't mean any of it.

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker): What do you mean?

Superman: Are you saying?

Batman: I'm saying l thing you guys are the GOAT!

Spider-Man (Miles): I don't think it's cool when he says that.

Spider-Ham: Greatest of all time?

Spider-Man Noir: That's high praise!

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker): Wow! Really?

Batman: When Miles tells Peter, "You gotta go home, man." and then sends him back to his universe, I'm just like, he really is the best of all of us!

Spider-Man (Miles): Wow! Batman really liked our movie!

Batman: It's so inspiring! AAAAGHHH

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker): Okay, let's turn it back a bit there, Batman.

Batman: What's up Danger!

Superman: He's going through a lot right now. He's kind of in a transitional period.

Spider-Man Noir: Ugh, I know those onions.

Superman: I swear, you sound so familar.

Spider-Man Noir: *shrugs* I don't know.

Superman: So is this gonna be like a thing now? You guys keep teaming up with other spiders in the multiverse?

Peni: Works for me!

Spider-Ham: I don't have any plans!

Spider-Man (Miles): I mean I hope so! We have to see where this is going right?

Spider-Gwen: What? Where what's going?

Miles puts his hand on Gwen's shoulder.

Spider-Man (Miles): Hey.

Spider-Gwen: Oh! Hey.

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker): Hey, great job kid! You didn't get your hand stuck in her hair this time!

Spider-Man (Miles) What? How do you guys know about that?

Spider-Man (Peter B Parker): What do you mean how do l know that? Everyone knows.

Spider-Ham: That's why I like my hands extra slippery!

Spider-Man (Miles): You're embarrassing me!

Peni: We're a big family!

Spider-Man Noir: Our boy's all growd's up!

Batman: Man, I wish l could hang out will all the Batmen in the Bat universe.

Batman's wish came true and he appears in the cafe as if it were the Bat Universe which is a big booth of 7 Batmen including LEGO Batman.

Batman: Alright, let me try and explain this to you. This french fry is my universe. It's awesome and perfect. It can do anything. (Cut to a big booth of 7 Batmen including LEGO Batman) Your fries are different. This one is vintage and retro, kinda silly. That's yours. (Adam West) Your french fry is exactly what everybody wants it's delicious. (animated Batman) And yours, your french fry has nipples, it's weird, it's gross. (1943 Batman) We don't talk about your french fry.

1943 Batman: I have nipples on my chest, because l'm Batman.

Batman: No! I say "Because l'm Batman"!

1943 Batman: Why do you get to say it? I am Batman!

Batman: Because I'm Batman!

1966 Batman: I too am also Batman, chum.

Batman: You're all Batman but I say "Because I'm Batman".

1990s Batman: I also say I'm Batman, because I'm Batman.

Batman: No! It's me! Because I'm Batman!

1949 Batman: I'm Batman.

Batman: No! I'm Batman!

2005 Batman: Because l'm Batman!

1989 Batman: I'm Batman.

Batman: I'm Batman!

1966 Batman: I'm pretty sure I'm also Batman.

2016 Batman: I was Batman.

Every Batman argues quickly.

Young Justic Batman: Did someone say Batman?

Batman: Ugh, This was a huge mistake.

THE END.

Batman: Okay, show me one more time.

Miles puts his hand on Batman's shoulder.

Spider-Man (Miles) Hey.

Batman: So, it's like this.

Batman puts his hand on Miles' shoulder.

Batman: Hey. Whassup?

Spider-Man (Miles): NO it's not whussup. It's just, hey.

Batman: Hey. I'm Batman!

Spider-Man (Miles): No no! It's just, hey.

Batman: Hey. You wanna know my secret identity?

Spider-Man (Miles): *sigh* This is gonna take a while.

Batman: Hey, I'm Batman!