This is Your Wish

[At the Fairy World restaurant "The Pointy Crown," Cosmo and Mama Cosma are sitting at a fancy table.]

Cosmo: It was really nice of you to take us to "The Pointy Crown," Mama Cosma!

Mama Cosma: Well, it is Fairy World's most famous restaurant. Only the finest for my little Cosmo-loo-loo!

Cosmo: And it was really nice of you to invite Timmy and Wanda. Hi, Timmy and Wanda!

''[Cosmo waves to Timmy and Wanda, who have been placed in the worst seats of the restaurant--a table in between the restroom and the kitchen. Everytime someone opens the door, they get hit in the face.]''

Timmy: Did we HAVE to come to Fairy World to have lunch with Cosmo's mom? Ow! [gets hit with door]

Wanda: You know what a mama's boy Cosmo is. Ow! [gets hit with door]

Timmy: But the only time she ever includes us--

Timmy and Wanda: OW! [gets hit with doors]

Timmy: --is when it involves some sinister plot to get rid of you--

Timmy and Wanda: OW! [gets hit with doors again]

Timmy: --and to get him to move back with her!

Waiter: [to Timmy] Would you like some chocolate pudding?

Timmy: That depends. Which door did YOU come out of?

[Cut to Cosmo and Mama Cosma's table where a waiter suddenly approaches them.]

Waiter: Excuse me, are you Cosmo?

Cosmo: That's what it says on my undies! [stretches undies, which reveals his name written on them along with a smiley-face] And they've never lied to me before!

Mama Cosma: How can we help you, mysterious waiter whom I've never seen before?

Waiter: I'm not really a waiter... [poofs into his regular form] I'm Billy Crystal Ball! [points at Timmy] And that's not really pudding.

Timmy and Wanda: OW! [gets hit with doors] 

Billy: It's really Fairy World's favorite TV show, "This Is Your Wish!"

''[All of a sudden, the restaurant changes into a game show stage. Cosmo is sitting on a red chair while the crowd is cheering wildly.]''

Cosmo: Ah! Omigosh! This is so unexpected!

[Cut to Timmy and Wanda, who are once again placed in the worst possible spot, located between the restroom door and the kitchen.]

Timmy: WHAT? This has to be some sort of diabolical plot!

Wanda: Timmy, ordinarily I'd agree with you--OW! [gets hit with door again] --but the slight concussion is making me less suspicious. Has that hat always been orange?

[Cut to the game show stage]

Billy: Welcome to the special show where we honor a special guest by revisiting the highlights of their lives. Cosmo... do you recognize this voice?

[A silhouette of Mama Cosma appears behind a white sheet.]

Mama Cosma: I love my little Cosmo dearly, and ever since he was born, I've been terrified of losing him. I remember when Cosmo got his first wand...

''[Cut to a flashback of Baby Cosmo sucking on his first wand. Papa Cosma and Mama Cosma are standing nearby.]'' ''[Cut to another flashback, where a young Cosmo is in art class. Several fairies poof their empty canvas into a famous painting.]''
 * Baby Cosmo: [takes wand out of his mouth] Yay!
 * Papa Cosma: Come on, Cosmo. Fly to Daddy!
 * Baby Cosmo: Yaay! [zaps Papa Cosma and turns him into a fly, who then buzzes away]
 * Mama Cosma: [terrified] Give Mommy the wand, Cosmo. [Cosmo turns his attention to Papa Cosma] GIVE MOMMY THE WAND!!!
 * Baby Cosmo: Yaaaaay! Daddy Daddy Daddy! [chases after Papa Cosma the fly with Mama Cosma flying after him]

Mama Cosma (narrating): Cosmo had many interests. Whether it was art.... [Cut to another flashback, where a young Cosmo is in gym class.]
 * Kid Cosmo: I'm going to make a daisy! [wand lights up]
 * [Cut to outside the school, which suddenly blows up violently.]
 * Kid Cosmo: An EXPLODiNG daisy!

Mama Cosma (narrating): He also loved sports. [Zoom out to reveal that these scenes are being displayed on a large screen for Cosmo, Billy, and the audience to see.]
 * Coach Fairy: PULL!
 * [A fairy pulls a lever on a machine which tosses three pucks into the air. A fairy turns one of the pucks into a butterfly, and another fairy turns the second one into a small bird. Cosmo, still sucking on his wand, sees the last puck and turns it into a ginormous, vicious three-headed dragon with wings.]
 * Kid Cosmo: It's Snowball!
 * [All the students except Cosmo run away screaming as the dragon breathes fire and causes destruction.]

Cosmo: Who's that idiot with the green hair?

Billy: It was after that you were sentenced--I mean, sent to a school for special fairy children--like you! Cosmo... do you recognize this rage?

[A silhouette of Jorgen Von Strangle appears behind the white sheet.]

Jorgen: Cosmo! YOU BUMBLING IDIOT!

Cosmo: That could be anybody!

Jorgen: It is me! Jorgen Von Strangle! TOUGHEST FAIRY IN THE UNIVERSE!

Cosmo: Wait... It's on the tip of my tongue...

Billy: We brought Jorgen here to tell us about your fun-filled days at the Fairy Academy.

Jorgen: Ah, yes. I remember the pain like it was yesterday.

[Cut to a flashback of Jorgen Von Strangle at the Fairy Academy donning a hat with five golden stars on it.]

Jorgen (narrating): I was a five star fairy commander when Cosmo voluntarily joined us at the Fairy Academy. Billy: But Cosmo improved over time, right?
 * [Flashback cuts to Mama Cosma dragging Cosmo to the academy.]
 * Cosmo: NO! I DON'T WANNA GO! MOMMY!!!
 * Jorgen: Welcome to the Fairy Academy. Present... wands! And by present wands, I mean don't do anything to embarrass me in front of the brass!
 * [All the fairy academy students raise their wands, but Cosmo accidentally poofs up Snowball again who promptly breathes fire onto Jorgen and the brass.]
 * Cosmo: Snowball! [hugs Snowball]
 * Jorgen: You. Clean toilets. FOREVER!!!

Jorgen (narrating): WRONG! No matter where Cosmo was taken for training, it ended in disaster. Whether it was the shining utopia that was Pompeii...

[Cut to flashback of Pompeii] Jorgen (narrating): The sparkling utopia that was Atlantis...
 * Cosmo: I know how to make it warmer! [forces the eruption of the nearby volcano, destroying and burning up Pompeii]

[Cut to flashback of Atlantis] Jorgen (narrating): Or the high-tech gleaming utopia that was once Xanadu!
 * Cosmo: I know how to make it cleaner! [makes Atlantis sink down to the depths of the ocean]

[Cut to flashback of Xanadu] Jorgen: Those poor people. We can never rebuild their lives. I lost every one of my five stars that day! And IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! I WILL GRIND YOUR BONES INTO DUST!!! RRRAAAAAAGGH!!! [gets shot in the buttocks with a k.o. dart and passes out]
 * Cosmo: I call it Pittsburgh! [turns Xanadu into the heavily-polluted town of Pittsburgh]

Cosmo: Seriously, who was that guy?

Audience Member #1: Wow, that Cosmo is a total idiot!

Audience Member #2: He's a danger to himself and everyone around him!

Audience Member #3: I can't wait to vote so we can take his wand away and make him move back home with his mama!

Timmy: WHAT?!?

Wanda: You mean the audience gets to vote on whether Cosmo gets to stay a godparent or not? I don't remember THAT being part of the show!

Waiter: Oh, the ratings were going down, so they added that during Season 3.

Timmy: I knew it! I knew there was a reason Mama Cosma was being so nice to us! It's another plot to get Cosmo away from you! AND ME!

Mama Cosma: [poofs in] Whatever gave you that completely correct idea?

Wanda: Over my dead body!

Mama Cosma: Oh, you figured out the rest of the plan!

''[Wanda poofs away. All of a sudden, the silhouette of Wanda appears behind the white sheet.]''

Wanda: Cosmo! Your mother is trying to separate us again!

Cosmo: Um.... Denise?

Wanda: This whole thing is a plot to get you all to think Cosmo is a bad fairy and get him to lose his job and move back home with his mother. [comes out from behind the white screen moves to the microphone]

Cosmo: Bridget?

Wanda: But I have one special clip that will show what a wonderful husband, fairy, and friend Cosmo can be!

Cosmo: ...Jorgen!

''[Cut to the screen where a clip with Wanda and Timmy hanging onto a branch on a tree for dear life. There is a crowd of hungry crocodiles in the water below them.]'' Wanda (narrating): Stop the clip!
 * Timmy and Wanda: Aaaah!
 * Wanda: We're doomed!
 * Timmy: Who can save us?!?
 * Cosmo: [in a superhero suit] Me, Cosmo! The greatest fairy ever! [scoops up Timmy and Wanda away from the crocodiles]

[Zoom out to the game show]

Wanda: See? Cosmo actually saved us from a horrible cliched death!

Audience: That is impressive.

Wanda: Let him keep his job!

Mama Cosma: Roll the rest of the clip!

[Zoom back in to the clip] Mama Cosma (narrating): Stop the clip!
 * Cosmo: I'll just set you down nice and safe on these shiny, metal tracks! And to keep you warm, here's a rope coat! [ties Timmy and Wanda to the train tracks and the train whistle is heard]
 * Timmy and Wanda: AAAH!!!

[Zoom out to the game show]

Mama Cosma: See? He's terrible! Send him home!

Wanda: Roll the rest of the clip!

[Zoom back in to the clip] [Clip pauses] [Zoom back in to the clip] [Clip pauses]
 * Timmy and Wanda: AAAAH! [train goes the other way after Cosmo pulls the lever] Whew!
 * Mama Cosma: Roll the rest of the clip!
 * Cosmo: That's a relief. AAH! [slips and pulls the lever again, causing the train to move toward Timmy and Wanda again]
 * Timmy and Wanda: AAAAAH!

Wanda: Roll the rest of the clip!

[Zoom back in to the clip] [Clip pauses]
 * [The train misses Timmy and Wanda again, and it zooms out to reveal that the section of the track Cosmo tied them to were not even part of the train track.]
 * Cosmo: See? You were never in any danger!

Wanda: See? AAH! [gets hit by Mama Cosma]

Mama Cosma: Roll the rest of the clip!

[Zoom back in to the clip] [Zoom out to game show]
 * Timmy: I don't understand why this one section of the track is separate from the rest of the tracks.
 * Cosmo: That's because it's on quicksand!
 * Timmy and Wanda: AAAAAAAAH! [sinks into the sand quickly]
 * Cosmo: Wow, that was quick.

Billy: Okay, I think we've seen enough. Audience, it's up to you! Does Cosmo keep his job? Or do we rip his wings off and send him home to his Mama?

[Audience members begin moving their fingers towards the "Send Home to Mama" button.]

Timmy: STOP!!! [jumps onstage] This isn't fair! You can't take Cosmo away from me without seeing my clips! Wanda, I wish I had some clips! Clips that show what a great job Cosmo does as my fairy godparent!

[Zoom into the clip] ''[Zoom out to audience who is laughing. Zoom back into another clip.]'' [Zoom out to audience who is laughing loudly.]
 * Cosmo: You wanted a big glass of cider? I thought you said a hungry spider!
 * [The spider catches Wanda in its web and stares at her with its multiple eyes.]
 * Wanda: AAAAAAAAAHH!
 * Timmy: Hahahahahahahahah!
 * Cosmo: Lawn mower? I thought you said flamethrower! [fires flamethrower at Wanda]
 * Timmy: Hahahahahahahahah!
 * Cosmo: I thought you said plastic surgery! [shows off huge breast implants]
 * Timmy: Hahahahahahahahah!
 * Cosmo: I'm keeping them.

Timmy: You see? No matter how horrible things get for me...

Wanda: Or me.

Timmy: Whatever. ...I can always count on Cosmo to be there for me and cheer me up. He's not just my fairy godparent. I'm his godkid and I don't want to lose him anymore than Wanda does!

Billy: It's up to you! The Fairy audience. Does Cosmo stay with Timmy or go home with his mommy?

Wanda: Oh no! They're going to vote him back to his mama! We have to do something!

Timmy: [runs up to microphone] Hey! Before you push that button, think about it. Do you REALLY want him back here in Fairy World?

[Cut to Cosmo, who puts his wand in his mouth and sucks on it.]

Audience: AAAAH! [presses the "Stay with Timmy" button]

[The screen displays that 499 people voted for Cosmo to stay with Timmy, while only one voted him back to his momma.]

Billy: And in a landslide victory, it looks like Cosmo gets to stay with his fairy godchild!

Cosmo, Timmy, and Wanda: Hurray!

Timmy: [to Mama Cosma] I can't believe after all those heart-rending, tear-jerking moments you still voted to take Cosmo away from me!

Mama Cosma: Oh no! After seeing how Cosmo tortured Wanda, I actually voted to let him stay with you.

Timmy: Then who was the one person who wanted to send him home?

Wanda: [whistles the Fairly Oddparents theme song] What? I didn't do it! I'm just... practicing my whistling!

Cosmo: Hey, I keep pressing the "Go Home" button but we're still here!

Timmy: I wish we could just go home.

Cosmo: You got it, Timmy! One fire-breathing, three-headed hydra coming up! [poofs up Snowball]

Audience: AAAAAAAAAAH!

Billy: We'll save this one for next year's clip package.