Role Models


 * [The villagers of the unnamed village are screaming and running in fear. Two missiles fall from the sky and explode when they hit the ground, then Eggman's Obliterator Bot lands. It fires missiles from both its shoulders, and the missiles explode as they hit the ground, barely missing the panicking villagers. Eggman is revealed to be floating in his Eggmobile nearby.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Look at those fools scurrying around like ants! Might as well treat em' like ants.
 * [Mike the Ox turns to face Eggman]
 * Mike the Ox: You mean you're taking us on a picnic?
 * Eggman: What? No! Obliterator Bot, magnify!
 * [A magnifying glass sprouts from Obliterator Bot's left arm. The sun causes the magnifying glass to fire a beam aimed at the panicking villagers. The beam chases Mike, who runs up a tree and grabs a branch with both his hands, causing him to hang from it. The camera moves from him to Tails' plane, which has Sonic, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks all hanging from enerbeams by all their hands. Tails flies his plane towards Obliterator Bot.]
 * Sonic: Incoming heroes!
 * [Sonic, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks all grunt as they let go of their enerbeams and fall. Amy and Knuckles land on Obliterator Bot's left arm, while Sonic lands near a trash can, and Sticks lands on the tree branch Mike is hanging from. Stratford and the Child Monkey look at each other in amazement.]
 * Eggman: Come on! Can't a guy test out a deadly superweapon on a town of innocent civilians without being interrupted? What's this world coming to?
 * [Sonic picks up the trash can lid with both his hands and holds it up like a shield. Amy and Knuckles grab Obliterator Bot's magnifying glass with both their hands at position it at the trash can lid. The beam deflects off the trash can lid and zaps Obliterator Bot's head, causing Obliterator Bot to shut down.]
 * Eggman: See? That's exactly what I'm talking about!
 * [Sonic aims the trash can lid towards Eggman, causing the beam to zap the bottom of his Eggmobile. Eggman grunts, then growls as he turns and flies away whilst sparks emit from the bottom of the Eggmobile. The villagers cheer as Sticks slides down the trunk of the tree, with Mike riding on her back. Mike jumps off Sticks as Mayor Fink past up to them and blows into a noisemaker he is holding in his left hand. He then reaches into a bag he is now holding in his right arm with his left hand and tosses confetti as he walks past Stratford and the Child Monkey.]
 * Stratford and Child Monkey: Yay! Whoo-hoo!
 * [Mayor Fink walks up to Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy.]
 * Mayor Fink: Congratulations, Sonic! This is the millionth time you and your friends saved the village! You'll each receive a "Greatest Role Models of All Time" award! As soon as I punch the final hole in your "Hero Rewards" card.
 * [Mayor Fink reaches behind his back with both his hands. He has Sonic's "Hero Rewards" card in his left hand and a hole puncher in his right. All the holes except for one are punched in the card, until Mayor Fink punches the last hole. Mayor Fink then reaches behind his back with both his hands again. This time, he pulls out the noisemaker with his left hand and blows into it. Fastidious Beaver arrives, pushing a wheelbarrow with both his hands. Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all run up to the wheelbarrow. Amy picks up her award with both her hands and turns to face the villagers.]
 * Amy: Thank you all! We promise to live up to this fine award, and set a good example!
 * [The camera cuts to Knuckles, who is laughing while spinning counter-clockwise on his head as he holds his award in his right hand. It then cuts back to Amy.]
 * Amy: Starting now.


 * [Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks are all sitting at a table at Meh Burger, with their awards on the table. Lady Goat and the Old Monkey are sitting at the table to their left, and Lady Walrus and her Baby are sitting at the table to their right. Knuckles crumples up his wrapper with both his hands and tosses it into a nearby trash can with his right hand.'']
 * Knuckles: Nothing but net!
 * [Sticks crumples up her wrapper with both her hands.]
 * Sticks the Badger: I bet I can sink one without looking!
 * ['Sticks tosses the wrapper behind her into the trash can with her right hand. She, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all look over at it, then cheer as they high-five each other with all their hands. A slushie cup lands near them, and they all turn their attention to it.]
 * Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks: Huh?
 * [Chumley giggles as he claps his hands. He then looks over at Lady Walrus, who is not happy with Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy and Sticks.]
 * Lady Walrus: A restaurant is no place for such behavior!
 * Sonic: In all fairness, Meh Burger's barely a restaurant.
 * Lady Walrus: How can you call yourselves role models when you exhibit such bad judgement?
 * [Lady Walrus walks up to her baby and picks him up with both her hands. Chumley coos as she picks him up.]
 * Lady Walrus: Come on, sweetie. Let's go find a precarious ledge for you to play on.
 * [Sonic and Amy turn to face Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks.]
 * Sonic: You know, she's right. We shouldn't be horsing around in here.


 * Sonic: We should be horsing around out here!
 * [Sonic and Tails are standing next to a cannon. The camera moves over to Knuckles, who is holding the remote to the cannon in his right hand as Tails grunts and climbs into the cannon. The cannon is aimed up, and Knuckles presses the red switch on the remote control with his right thumb. The cannon fires Tails, who lands in a trash can. He wearily pulls himself out of the trash can with his right hand as he holds up his left thumb.]
 * Knuckles: Nothing but net!
 * [Amy grunts as she climbs into the cannon, which is aimed up. Knuckles is about to push the red switch on the remote with his right thumb, until D.B. Platypus runs up to him and takes the remote from him with his right hand.]
 * Knuckles: Huh?
 * [Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks all turn their attention to D.B., who is now holding the remote in his left hand.]
 * D.B. Platypus: I'll take that!
 * Knuckles: Hey! What's the big idea? We're trying to shoot this girl out of a cannon into a filthy trash can!
 * D.B.: Oh, no you're not!
 * [D.B. reaches into his coat pocket with his right hand and pulls out a card, which he hands to Knuckles, who grabs it with his right hand and looks over it.]
 * D.B.: D.B. Platypus, image specialist. The Mayor hired me because there have been some complaints that you role models haven't been very, uh... shall we say, role modelly. Heh heh!
 * Sonic: What? We're awesome role models!
 * [Sonic slams his left fist on the cannon, causing it to fire Amy. Amy screams as she flies, and lands in a tree.]
 * D.B.: Role models seldom shoot each other out of cannons. From now on, you must be exemplemary in every way!
 * Sticks: Sounds like you want us to become soulless drones!
 * D.B.: Finally, someone's paying attention! Ahem. Remember, you're not people anymore, you're role models! So let the training begin! Rule number one; never question me!
 * Sticks: Why not?
 * [D.B. blows into the whistle he is holding in his right hand.]
 * D.B.: Role model infraction!
 * Knuckles: Ha ha! Sticks is in trouble!
 * [D.B. turns to face Knuckles and blows into his whistle.]
 * Knuckles: Ha ha! Knuckles is in trouble! Oh.
 * [Knuckles scratches his head with his left index finger.]


 * [A view oustide Eggman's Lair is shown. Inside Eggman's lair, Eggman is sitting on his couch as Orbot and Cubot look at him.]
 * Eggman: I can't believe that ridiculous Mayor gave an award to Sonic and his do-gooder friends! Sure, he might have saved the village a million times, but that's only because I've endangered the village a million times!
 * Cubot: And where's your award?
 * Eggman: The only award I ever get is a butt-whooping! And the occasional Grammy nomination.
 * [A view of Eggman's Grammy nomination is shown.]
 * Orbot: It's not right, Sir. You're the greatest genius who ever lived! The most powerful supervillain in the world!
 * [Cubot holds up his right index finger.]
 * Cubot: And you have the most styling stache' in the universe!
 * Eggman: Thrice snubbed! Well, today we're going to do something about it!


 * [Sonic and Tails are at Meh Burger as D.B. looks over them.]
 * Sonic: After you, Tails.
 * Tails: No, after you!
 * [Sonic waves his left hand.]
 * Sonic: No no no no, I insist. After you!
 * [D.B. nods his head, "Yes". The villagers, including an angry Lady Goat are revealed to be waiting in line behind Sonic and Tails. Sonic and Tails turn to face Lady Goat.]
 * Lady Goat: Will one of you just order already?!
 * [Amy is now sitting at a table, holding a fork in her right hand and a knife in her left. She uses the knife to cut her burger. Knuckles is holding a fork in his right hand and a knife in his left as he uses the knife to cut his beverage cup. Sticks wipes her lips with a napkin she is holding in her right hand, then blows her nose into it. She looks over at Mayor Fink and Lady Walrus, then wipes her lips with the napkin again. Mayor Fink and Lady Walrus both nod their heads, "Yes" at her.]
 * D.B. What delightful role modelling!
 * [A view of a tray of rolls is shown. D.B. then turns to face Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks.]
 * D.B.: And you're not doing so bad yourselves.
 * Knuckles: Oh, why am I always second to bread?
 * D.B.: I'll tell you why; because you shouldn't eat out so often! A true role model knows the value of a home-cooked meal!
 * Amy: I have a home where we can cook meals!
 * [D.B. turns to face Amy.]
 * D.B.: Wonderful role modelling!
 * [D.B. turns to face the tray of rolls and holds up his right index finger.]
 * D.B.: You could learn a thing or two from her!


 * [City Hall is shown as the camera zooms in on it.]
 * Mayor Fink: I'd really like to help you out,
 * [Inside City Hall, Mayor Fink is sitting at his desk, and Eggman is sitting in the chair facing him.]
 * Mayor Fink: But, in general, municipalities don't give out trophies for villainy!
 * Eggman: It doesn't have to be for villainy. I'm good at lots of other things! For example, I have a lovely singing voice!
 * [In the next scene, Eggman is standing in a spotlight, next to a microphone.]
 * Eggman (singing): Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee!
 * [Mayor Fink stares in confusion. Eggman stares unamused at him.]
 * Mayor Fink: I'm sorry, fourth place isn't a trophy. It's a certificate!
 * [Eggman growls at Mayor Fink.]


 * [Amy is at the stove, cooking in a pot she is holding in her left hand as she stirs with a spoon she is holding in her right. The camera moves over to Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks, who are all sitting on the couch.]
 * Sonic: Yo, Ames! Dinner ready yet?
 * [D.B. blows his whistle, and Sonic turns his attention to him. D.B. then takes his whistle out of his mouth with his right hand.]
 * D.B.: Why is it that the female has to cook? As role models, you must be careful not to fall into gender stereotypes!
 * [As Amy talks to D.B., she sets her pot on the counter to her other side.]
 * Amy: While I agree with you in principle, the simple fact is, I'm the only one who knows how to cook. And I enjoy it!
 * [D.B. blows his whistle he is holding in his right hand, then takes it out of his mouth.]
 * D.B.: What you like is unimportant! You're a role model now.


 * [Eggman and Mayor Fink continue staring at each other as a muzak plays.]
 * Mayor Fink: I do have this pole-vaulting trophy I pulled out of the garbage.
 * [In the next scene, Eggman is dressed in a red leotard as he runs and pants heavily, holding a pole in both his hands. Eggman tries to pole-vault over the bar, but the pole breaks in half and he grunts as he falls over.]


 * [The sink of Amy's kitchen is littered with cooking scraps, and Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks are all seen at the table, trying to eat a purple mush with spoons they are holding in their right hands as D.B. watches over them.]
 * D.B.: Finally, you're setting a good example!
 * Sonic: But, nobody else is here.
 * D.B.: No questioning the image specialist!
 * [D.B. blows his whistle he is holding in his right hand.]
 * Sticks: I am sick of that whistle, I'm sick of being a role model,
 * [As Sticks continues talking, she picks up her trophy with both her hands and walks past D.B.]
 * Sticks: And I am sick of this trophy!
 * [D.B. holds out his left hand like a stop sign as Sticks can be heard smashing her trophy in the background]
 * D.B.: No! That's very bad role modelling!
 * [Sticks walks back to D.B. and hands him her smashed trophy, which D.B. is now hilding in his left hand. Sticks then closes the door to Amy's house with her left hand. Almost immediately afterwards, a knock at the door can be heard.]
 * D.B.: That must be Sticks coming back to apologize. Superbly Role Model-ish of her, I do say!
 * [The Old Monkey opens the door with his right hand and walks in.]
 * Old Monkey: Sonic! It's an emergency!
 * [Sonic runs up to the Old Monkey.]
 * Old Monkey: Eggman is...
 * [Before the Old Monkey can finish, D.B. blows his whistle. Sonic and the Old Monkey turn their attention to D.B., who is holding his whistle in his right hand as he holds his left hand out like a stop sign. D.B. then walks up to Sonic and the Old Monkey.]
 * D.B.: Uh, just a moment, old chap. Running into a room is bad form! Uh, Sonic, I'm looking at you! Let's try that again!
 * [The Old Monkey turns around. He is now holding his cane in his left hand as he closes the door with his right. Sonic then looks over at D.B. as the Old Monkey knocks on the door again. He then pushes the door open with his right hand and walks in again.]
 * Old Monkey: I beg your pardon, but it's come to my attention that a Dr. Eggman is laying waste to the entire village! Uh, anyhoo, Bob's your uncle, and enjoy your meal!
 * [The Old Monkey closes the door with his right hand. Sonic then holds up his left fist.]
 * Sonic: You heard him, team! Let's get movin'!
 * [Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all get up from their seats, but before they can get far, D.B. runs up to them and holds out both his hands like stop signs.]
 * D.B.: Not so fast! If people in the village are going to be watching you, you need to...
 * [Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all stare blankly at D.B..]
 * Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy (unenthusiastically): Set a good example.
 * [D.B. blows his whistle he is holding in his right hand.]
 * Amy: What? What did we do now?
 * D.B.: Nothing. That was my praise whistle!
 * [D.B. chuckles.]
 * D.B.: Now, if you're going into battle, you'll have to follow a few rules! Amy Rose, if you're going to swing your hammer, you'll need protective eyewear! Sonic, when you race about, You'll be required to wear reflective clothing and honk this horn!
 * [D.B. holds up a horn he is holding in his right hand and honks it. He then holds up his left hand like a stop sign at Tails.]
 * D.B.: Tails, no driving! You don't have a license! And Knuckles,
 * [Tails and Amy turn their attention to Knuckles.]
 * D.B.: Don't break anything.
 * [Knuckles is holding a bottle of glue in his right hand and a piece of the broken vase on the counter next to him in his left.]
 * Knuckles: One step ahead of you!
 * [Knuckles puts the piece on the broken vase.]
 * Sonic: Got it! Let's go, team!
 * [Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all run away, until D.B. blows his whistle he is holding in his right hand.]
 * D.B.: Do I even need to say it?
 * [Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all turn their attention to D.B.. Sonic backs up, then holds out his right hand. Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all slowly walk out the door, and Sonic follows behind them as he closes the door with his left hand.]


 * [Dr. Eggman is in his Eggmobile, which he rams against the window of the trophy shop. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all run up to him and stare in shock.]
 * Eggman: If I can't win a trophy, I'll steal one!
 * [Eggman grabs the trophy in front of him with both his hands.]
 * Eggman: Ha!
 * Sonic: Guys, it's time to get busy!
 * [D.B. blows his whistle he is holding in his right hand, and Sonic turns his attention to him.]
 * D.B.: Ahem! Impressionable children here!
 * [D.B. points his left hand at Stratford and the Child Monkey. Sonic sighs unhappily, then holds out his left hand.]
 * Sonic: Put on your stupid stuff.
 * [D.B. blows his whistle he is holding in his right hand.]
 * Sonic: Your stuff.
 * [D.B. blows his whistle he is holding in his right hand again. This time, Sonic holds out both his arms.]
 * Sonic: Your awesomely cool protective gear that all kids should wear!
 * [D.B. nods his head, "Yes" at Sonic. In the next scene, Sonic is wearing a green safety vest, Amy is wearing goggles, and she, Tails, and Knuckles are wearing elbow and knee pads.]
 * Eggman: Hey, Sonic! Maybe you should put soft foam caps on your spikes!
 * [D.B. looks over at Sonic.]
 * D.B.: Sonic?
 * [In the next scene, Sonic now has soft foam caps on the end of his quills. As he talks to D.B., Amy puts the last one on with both her hands.]
 * Sonic: Yeah, yeah, I'm on it.
 * Eggman: Now, let's see, where was I? Oh yes, on a rampage!
 * [Eggman floats past Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and D.B. as he fires lasers from his Eggmobile. Two Bee Bots follow behind him, and Sonic holds up his right arm.]
 * Sonic: Let's crush Eggman once and for all!
 * [Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all step forward, then look over at D.B., who stares angrily at them. They step forward again, then look over at D.B. again. They all run towards Eggman, and D.B. blows his whistle he is holding in his right hand as he holds up his left hand like a stop sign. Sonic and Amy stop running and turn to face D.B..]
 * Sonic: Oh, come on!
 * D.B.: Use your words! We need to model conflict resolution through talking things out!
 * Sonic: But he's a villain!
 * [Eggman floats up to Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, holding the stolen trophy in his left hand.]
 * Eggman: Greatest villain ever!
 * Sonic: Stealing a trophy isn't the same as winning one.
 * Eggman: If the award is for villainy, I'd say it's better to steal it!
 * Sonic: I... well... yeah. You got me there!
 * [Eggman holds up the trophy in his left hand and his right fist.]
 * Eggman: Score one for Eggman! I like this battling with words! you know what else I like?
 * [Eggman pulls the lever on his Eggmobile forward with his right hand. He fires lasers at Sonic and Amy, who backflip to dodge his attacks. Amy then pulls out her hammer with her left hand, but before she can use it, D.B. holds out his left hand like a stop sign, then holds up his left index finger.]
 * D.B.: "I" statements! Use your "I" statements!
 * [Amy drops her hammer and walks up to Eggman.]
 * Amy: Eggman, when you shoot lasers at me, I feel sad, and I need you to be less destructive!
 * [A Bee Bot fires at Tails, who dodges the attack by flying over it. D.B. then looks over at Tails.]
 * D.B.: Offer to meet Dr. Eggman halfway!
 * Tails: Eggman, I'd like to meet you...
 * Eggman: Meet this!
 * [The Bee Bot fires at Tails and Knuckles. It hits them, and they grunt as they fall over. D.B. then looks over at Stratford and the Child Monkey.]
 * D.B.: See, kids? They're being role models!
 * Child Monkey: They're getting crushed!
 * [D.B. points his left index finger at Stratford and the Child Monkey.]
 * D.B.: Like role models!
 * [Sticks hollers as she swings on a vine, holding on with both her hands. She kicks the Bee Bot, destroying it, and lands on the ground below. She pulls out her boomerang with her right hand and tosses it at the other Bee Bot, destroying it. Her boomerang flies back to her, and she grabs it with her left hand, but D.B. blows his whistle he is holding in his right hand.]
 * D.B.: Role model infraction!
 * [D.B. points his left hand at Stratford and the Child Monkey.]
 * D.B.: We don't want these impressionable children to think this is how you resolve things!
 * Sticks: Come on, guys, I can't do this alone!
 * Eggman: No, keep using your words! It's working! You're staring to get through to me!
 * [D.B. walks up to Sticks.]
 * D.B.: Sticks, instead of throwing your boomerang, why don't you offer to... oh, I don't know, share it?
 * Sticks: Oh, I'll share it, all right!
 * [Sticks ducks and holds up her boomerang in her right hand, and is holding a string she tied to it in her left. She grunts as she throws her boomerang, which wraps the string around D.B.. Sticks then lassos the other end of the string with her right hand to a pole. D.B. looks over at her, and she lets of the string, causing it to launch D.B. into a trash can. Sticks then turns to face Stratford and the Child Monkey and holds up her left fist.]
 * Sticks: Hey, who likes chili dogs?
 * [In the next scene, Sticks, Stratford, and the Child Monkey are all standing behind the counter at Meh Burger. Sticks holds up her right index finger.]
 * Sticks: Chili dogs all around!
 * [Stratford and the Child Monkey turn to face Sticks.]
 * Sticks: And don't let anybody tell you to use a napkin!
 * [Sticks walks away, then Stratford and the Child Monkey turn back to the counter and smile. In the next scene, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy are all surrounded by Bee Bots, who fire at them. Sticks runs up to them.]
 * Sticks: Coast is clear! No kids around, no consultants watching, let's scramble that egg!
 * [Sonic grunts as he shakes the foam cups off his quills. He and Amy then walk up to Eggman.]
 * Eggman: Wait, hold on! What happened to the "I" statements?
 * Amy: When you act like a jerk, I start pounding you!
 * [Amy pulls out her hammer with both her hands and runs up to Eggman. She grunts as she hits his Eggmobile with her hammer, sending Eggman flying away.]
 * Eggman: Whoa!
 * [Sonic runs away, and Tails flies behind him. Knuckles grunts as he punches a Bee Bot with his right fist, destroying it. Sonic grunts as he spins at two Bee Bots, destroying them. Tails grunts as he kicks a Bee Bot with both his feet, destroying it. Sonic then lands on the ground below.]
 * Sonic: Being a role model is overrated. I'd much rather be... hilariously edgy!
 * [Amy removes her goggles with her left hand and sets them down.]
 * Amy: Sonic, when you say things like that, I feel like throwing up in my mouth!
 * [The camera circles clockwise around Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy and Sticks. Amy grunts as she hits a Bee Bot with her hammer, destroying it. Knuckles grunts as he punches a Bee Bot with his right hand, destroying it. Sonic jumps into the air, and Sticks grunts as she throws her boomerang, which she is holding in her right hand, at a Bee Bot, destroying it. Tails flies after a Bee Bot, and the screen fades to black, ending the episode.]