Prankless

(The scene begins with the picture of Pops' House with Muscle Man laughing in background. It cuts over to Mordecai and Rigby's bedroom where Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost are taping Mordecai's bed to the ceiling)

Muscle Man: I can't wait to see the look on Mordecai's face when he finds his bed on the ceiling! He'll be like, (Mimicks Mordecai) "Oh no, where am I gonna sleep tonight?!"

(Hi Five Ghost and him laugh)

Muscle Man: Best prank ever!

(HFG and Muscle high five each other; Pops comes in, chasing a balloon)

Pops: Hahaha! I've got you this time, balloon!

(He touches the balloon, causing it to hit the bed; Mordecai's bed falls down on Pops and he groans)

Muscle Man: Oh no, bro!

(Pops begins to cry loudly and Benson and the others come into the room)

Benson: Pops!

(Skips gets the mattress off of Pops who is severly injured)

Benson: Call an ambulance, now!

(Mordecai rushes to call an ambulance while Rigby, Skips and Benson comfort Pops)

Benson: It's gonna be ok, Pops.

(Pops is still crying and Muscle Man looks upset and guilty; Scene goes to outside where two paramedics are carrying a groaning, bandaged up Pops on a stretcher with a blanket over him)

Paramedic: He should fine in a few days, but he's definitely lucky to be alive. That bed could've killed him.

(The words 'killed him' echo in Muscle Man's head, making him feel worried; he runs to Pops.)

Muscle Man: Pops! Pops! Pops, I'm so sorry, bro! It was an accident!

Pops: (Groans) No worries, I'll be quite alright.

Muscle Man: No, Pops, I almost killed you, all because of my stupid prank. I swear from this day forward I will never prank again. Ever.

Paramedic: Okay. That's enough.

(Pops moans in agony as the paramedics load him into the ambulance and drive away into the distance; Muscle Man looks guilty as he trudges away slowly in shame while Mordecai, Rigby, Skips, and Benson look on)

Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man, where are you going?

Muscle Man: Away, bro. I'm done with pranking forever.

(As Muscle Man rounds the hill, the others try to comprehend what just happened.)

Rigby: All right! No more pranks from Muscle Man! Up high! (Raises hand to high-five)

Benson: No Rigby, this is bad. We've got a huge problem on our hands now that Muscle Man has given up pranking.

Mordecai: What are you talking about?

(A dramatic zoom-in on Benson's apprehensive face as he reveals the truth about Muscle Man's pranks.)

Benson: Believe it or not, Muscle Man's pranks saved this park a long time ago.

(Flashback of the Park as a battlefield; Pairs of underpants are on leaning flagpoles and toilet paper strewn across flaming log cabins.)

Benson: (Voiceover) It was under siege and almost destroyed in a prank war with a rival park...

(A walking stick with the rival park, East Pines, flag on it (yellow background with a green pine tree on it) suddenly slams down on a whoopee cushion, releasing a farting sound effect. The camera slides upward to show Gene holding the walking stick)

Benson: They were led by their manager, Gene...

Gene: AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(A huge background explosion occurs. Toilet paper rolls soar across the smoky sky as Gene's ranger troops fire water balloon blasters at Pop's house which is mostly destroyed and within it, a younger Benson and Skips in battlefield helmets and armor cowering behind a jagged wall.)

Wartime Benson: That's it, we're done for!

Benson: (voiceover) At least, I thought we were done for...

(Camera zooms out and focuses on a ridge behind the house where Hi Five Ghost and Muscle Man, with a "#1 Prankster" bandana around his head, are examining Gene's army through binoculars.)

Wartime Muscle Man: It's not over until I say it's over!

(Muscle Man then pulls a lever, triggering a catapult to launch a gigantic green water balloon labeled "MY MOM" across the Park and into the East Pines park, smashing into the trees and flooding the entire park)

Gene: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Flashback ends)

Benson: So Muscle Man became the ultimate weapon in ending the prank war. With him gone, there's no telling what will happen.

Mordecai: C'mon Benson, do you seriously think that guy Gene is gonna hold a grudge for that long?

(A water balloon hits Benson in the face, and a bunch of water balloons are being shot into the Park; The guys' run into the house, screaming, and Benson closes the door)

Benson: See, the prank war is not over! We have to win it, or we're all gonna die.

(Clock transition to Skips' garage, where the guys, minus Muscle Man and Pops, are having a meeting)

Benson: OK listen up, we're getting seriously pranked out there. We can't win this without Muscle Man, so I'm gonna convince him to come out of retirement. (Referring to the others) In the meantime, you guys need to buy us some time. Mordecai, Rigby, what do you got for me?

Mordecai: We're gonna take out their bathrooms.

Rigby: We've got jumbo rolls of plastic wrap.

Benson: Sounds promising. Skips, Hi Five Ghost.

Skips: We got expired baloney, illegal fireworks, and three good arms.

(Skips and HFG high five each other)

Benson: Good. Good. Just remember, we're dealing with pros out there so keep your eyes open. Now get out there and make this park proud.

(The park workers open the garage door, and Gene and two of his groundskeepers pull up in a East Pines van)

Gene: Oh, hey Benson, I hear Muscle Man retired from pranking. That's a real shame. Light em' up boys!

(East Pines park employees start shooting tomatoes at the guys)

Benson: Back in the garage! Back in the garage!

(They close the garage door)

Rigby: What do we do?!

Skips: Hi Five Ghost and I will draw their fire! Just get Muscle Man back!

(HFG phases through the garage while Skips breaks through the window and run away)

East Pines Employee: There they are, go go go!

(HFG and Skips head towards East Pines, while the East Pines van follows behind)

Benson: Mordecai and Rigby, head to the other park and get into pranking position. I'll call you with further instructions.

Mordecai: But what are you gonna do?

Benson: (Close up) I'm going to get Muscle Man back.

(The scene goes to inside Muscle Man's trailer, where Muscle Man is sitting on his couch and is putting his '#1 Prankster' bandanna and other pranking items into a box and stares at nothing; Benson comes into the trailer)

Benson: Muscle Man, the rival park is pranking us again. We need you!

Muscle Man: You got the wrong man, I don't do that anymore.

Benson: But we're getting destroyed!

Muscle Man: Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I don't prank anymore.

Benson: I can't believe this! You're just gonna let them destroy the park?!

Muscle Man: Whoa! Back up bro! I almost killed a man. A park, that's just land. You can replace that any day of the week, but a man's life, that's forever.

Benson: But the Park i-

Muscle Man: It's over, Benson. I'm done.

Benson: (Sighs) Thanks for nothing!

(Benson leaves the trailer, and leaves Muscle Man sitting in the dark; Scene cuts to a sign labeled 'EAST PINES', a building labeled 'RESTROOMS' is shown, and Mordecai and Rigby are hiding in a bush nearby)

Benson: (Walkie-talkie)        Mordecai, Rigby! Muscle Man's out. We're gonna have to stop this ourselves.  

Mordecai: Let's do this.

(Mordecai and Rigby head towards the restrooms and go into one of the restrooms but they get ambushed; Scene cuts to another location in East Pines where Skips and HFG are hiding in a bush nearby)

Benson: (Walkie-talkie) Skips! Come in Skips!

Skips: (To the walkie-talkie) Yeah Skips here.

Benson: (Walkie-talkie) I lost Mordecai and Rigby, you and HFG still good to go?

Skips: (To the walkie-talkie) We're on it!

(Skips takes out the bologna, yells, and charges towards the rival members, throwing bologna everywhere, while HFG lights up the fireworks, throws it into the building, the fireworks explode and the groundskeepers run out and Skips is hit by tomatoes)

Skips: (To walkie-talkie) I'm hit!

(Scene cuts back to Pop's House, where the surrounding area and the house was covered in tomatoes; Benson is inside the house)

Benson: Skips! Come in Skips!

Skips: (Walkie-talkie) There's too many of 'em!

(Skips screams; Benson screams and takes off his hat in anger and frustration.)

Mordecai: (Walkie-talkie) Benson! Come in Benson!

Benson: Mordecai! Where are you guys?!

Mordecai: (Walkie-talkie) Right here!

(Scene shows Mordecai and Rigby outside, tarred and feathered)

Benson: Mordecai! Rigby! Get out of there now!

(Mordecai and Rigby are hit by tomatoes)

Benson: NO!

(Mordecai and Rigby are hit repeatedly by the East Pines groundskeepers and Benson goes outside rescuing Mordecai and Rigby and helps them stand up)

Mordecai: We gotta get out of here! Their pranks are too good!

(A truck filled with whoopie cushions drives toward them and the driver flips the truck to the side which creates a sonic boom that throws Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson into trees, destroys the trees and portions of the house; Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson gasp, then the van pulls up with its door pulled back, revealing Gene who is holding marbles)

Gene: Hey guys! You lost your marbles?!

(Gene throws the marbles which causes Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson to slip and fall to the ground)

Gene: (Laughs) Say good bye to your park, 'cause when we're done with it, there'll be nothing left!

(3 trucks full of whoopie cushions are flipped over, which knocks down more trees)

Rigby: We gotta get outta here! Somebody's gonna get hurt or killed.

Benson: I've got an idea, just hold on.

(Benson gets into the cart and drives away;Scene goes to inside Muscle Man's trailer where he's sitting on his couch and a knock is heard)

Muscle Man: What?

(Benson rolls Pops in with a wheelchair)

Pops: Ooohhh.

Muscle Man: Pops, shouldn't you be in the hospital?

Pops: Well, yes, but there are worse things going on right now. You need to start pranking again.

Muscle Man: No way, Pops! I almost killed you! I might almost kill again.

Pops: But only your pranks can save the Park.

Muscle Man: I can't do it, Pops.

(Muscle Man looks out the window to see the East Pines groundskeepers shooting whoopie cushions at the fountain, throwing toilet paper into the trees, dropping pies from air planes onto the Park, and putting purple drink mix into the pond)

Muscle Man: Their pranks aren't hurting anyone, my pranks can kill. I won't do it.

Pops: Then we've lost the war. (Takes out a gift) At least the rival park was kind enough to send me get well confectionaries.

(Pops opens the box, a boxing glove punches Pops in the face which causes him to fall off his wheelchair)

Benson and Muscle Man: Pops!

Pops: Their pranks are hurting me (Cries).

Muscle Man: This prank war ends now!

(Muscle Man shoves stuff off the box full of pranking items; gets his '#1 Prankster' bandana on, puts black combat boots on, and puts war paint on his face)

Muscle Man: If I don't make it back, tell my mom I died doing what I love. Whooo!

(Muscle Man swings his shirt up in the air and runs outside)

Benson: I think we just won the war.

(Scene goes to the East Pines' warehouse)

Gene: (laughs) Victory is as good as ours. Soon that park will be reduced to rubble!

(Monitors show a truck full of whoopie cushions flipping over which knocks down trees; pies landing onto the ground, and the groundskeepers throwing toilet paper onto a statue of Pops; They laugh until they get pulled away and the other monitors show other groundskeepers being pulled away as well) 

Gene: What the?

(The groundskeepers scream as they get pulled away and Muscle Man's face appears on all the monitors)

Gene: Wha? (The map falls and Muscle Man's face pops up) Muscle Man!

Muscle Man: Your pranking ends now Gene, give up or else.

Gene: (Laughs) Give up? I'm not giving up unless I see your park completely destroyed!

Muscle Man: Fine, you asked for it bro.

(The room starts to shake as the building launches into space)

Gene: Muscle Man, what's going on?

Muscle Man: We're in outer space, bro. Looks like we won't be needing these walls.

(The walls go away and Gene screams as he is being pulled toward the Sun which then has Muscle Man's head on it)

Muscle Man: There's no way of knowing where we're going. I think the danger must be growing. What's that warm light a glowing? Oh no, bro! It's the sun, it's set in motion! get ready for some fun! hope you brought your sun tan lotion!

(Muscle Man laughs as his head becomes a skull)

Gene: (Screams) Okay, okay, I'll never prank your park again, I swear, I swear!

(Gene falls onto the floor, revealing that all of it was fake and Muscle Man stands nearby)

Gene: Huh? What? How did you do that?!

Muscle Man: Easy, mirrors you idiot. Oldest prank in the book.

(4 tall mirrors collapse outside the building)

Muscle Man: So no more pranking right?

Gene: (Groans) Right.

Muscle Man: And you're gonna clean up all the damage you did to the Park with your lame pranks.

Gene: What? No way.

Muscle Man: Want me to bust out the mirrors again?

Gene: No, no. We'll clean, we'll clean.

(Scene goes to the Park and the East Pines groundskeepers are seen cleaning up)

Benson: It looks like we can finally put this prank war behind us. You all made this park proud today, especially you Muscle Man, we couldn't have done it without you.

Muscle Man: Duh bro. I'm best pranker there is, no one can stop me, I'm never retiring. (Swings his shirt in the air) Whhhhooooooooooo!!!! (Runs away) Whhhooo!!

Benson: Alright Pops, back to the hospital.

Mordecai: Later Pops.

(Pops laughs as Benson starts wheeling Pops away and looks back at the others)

Benson: Thanks Pops, the Park really owes you for faking that boxing glove prank. I knew Muscle Man would only have pranked Gene if you pretended to be hurt.

Pops: Oh, it's quite alright. It was a jolly good show.

(Pops laughs and the episode ends)