Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars

Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars

''The Massive drifts through open space. Zim's voice is heard.''

Zim's voice: My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest! My Tallest! My-my-my Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, hey, hey, Over here! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest, my Tallest, my Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! Hey! My Tallest! Muh-my... my Tall...

Cut to the control deck of the Massive where the Tallest stand, watching Zim broadcasting from his lab on their main view screen.

Zim: Hey, my Tallest! It's me! Look at me! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest!

Red: I was curious to see when you'd shut up on your own, but it's been three hours now, Zim. THREE HOURS! So... what is it?!

Zim: I just noticed that you're —

GIR pops his head up at the bottom of the view screen, out of disguise.

Zim: — traveling closer to the Earth than EVER before!

Purple: How do you know that?

Zim: Oh, I know all kinds of things about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was —

Purple: Hey! That is creepy! You're creepy, Zim!

Zim: Hehe... yes, I sure am.

GIR walks off.

Zim: Anyhow, since you're so near by, you could see me initiate my newest, most diabolical plan to destroy the humans!

Zim lifts up a plate of sandwiches.

Zim: I made sandwiches!

Zim makes a delighted squeak.

Red: Uh, look Zim, eh, maybe we'll stop by on our way back from... wherever we're going.

Zim: But —

Red: Sorry, Zim! Uh, we're being... attacked! By an enemy vessel!

''Red shoves Purple, who yells. Red moves around as if the the Massive is shaking while yelling.''

Red: Gotta go! Gotta go!

''Red motions to one of the communications officers. He presses a button and the transmission is cut off.''

Red: Enemy vessel! Hah! As if anyone would dare go up against the Massive!

Purple: Yeah, that is pretty funny. Hey! Someone's makin' doughnuts!

''Red and Purple cheer and hover away. Cut to Zim's lab. Zim stands perfectly still, staring and the static of the view screen. Behind him, a turkey rests on a cart with flies buzzing around it. A fly lands on Zim's face and crawls around. Zim finally moves to brush away the fly.''

Computer: Master! The Tallest cut the transmission an hour ago!

Zim: Hey! They did cut the transmission! The Tallest fail to understand that I'm inviting them for front row seats for the end of all mankind! My latest plan...

Computer: The latest plan is about to explode.

''Red lights on a large containment tank start to flash as an alarm blares. Inside the tank is a huge brain-sucking parasite. Zim types on the control panel bellow the tank.''

Zim: D'oh! This thing needs constant adjustments to keep it asleep! But once let loose on the surface it'll eat the brains of all humans! The Tallest wouldn't wanna miss that! GIR!

The turkey explodes, revealing GIR inside.

GIR: It's me! I was the turkey all along!

Zim: I was wondering what that turkey was doing there. GIR! I'm delaying the brain parasite plan for now. I want you to —

GIR: I was the turkey! Me!

Zim: Yes... So you were... Look! Just monitor these containment levels! I have to go to the holo-interface room!

GIR walks over to the control panels to the tank.

GIR: Okee-dokee!

GIR starts pressing buttons very fast.

GIR: Look at me go! I'm doing it!

Zim: If those levels go critical even slightly —

The monitor shows a simulation with a man walking along.

Zim: — the brain parasite will escape into the base —

The simulation shows the parasite latch on to the man's head.

Zim: — and bring about a pain unlike any known form of pain!

''The brain is sucked out of the man's head. A close-up of the brain is shown with a sad face on it, crying.''

GIR: Wooo!

''The monitor shows the tank levels. GIR presses buttons as Zim walks out. Cut to Dib's house, where an electric field is in place around the lawn. Gaz groans. Inside Prof. Membrane's lab, the Prof. works on an experiment. He has a welding tool that is sending out sparks. Gaz stand behind him.''

Prof. Membrane: What's your brother doing this time? He's not trying to raise the dead again, is he? Always with the dead, that boy!

Gaz: He's... talking.

Membrane stops working and walks towards Gaz.

Prof. Membrane: Oh, is that all? Daughter, some people like to talk.

Membrane puts Gaz on his shoulder.

Prof. Membrane: Your brother likes to talk about insane things!

Membrane holds out his hand, which has glowing light behind it.

Prof. Membrane: Maybe he'll become less insane if you listen.

Gaz: But his voice fills me with a terrible rage!

Prof. Membrane: I know it does, honey!

Membrane holds out his daughter.

Prof. Membrane: Heh heh, I know it does.

''Membrane sets Gaz down and walks back to his work. Gaz walks out. Inside Dib's room, Dib sits at his computer while his glasses glow. He holds a pointer.''

Dib: People, these are things that we have to study! We have to get right in, take a look at it, dissect it, have to remove things, have to understand, comprehend.

''Gaz walks in. Dib's glasses are no longer glowing. Gaz sits on Dib's bed.''

Dib: Anyhow, okay, let's look over the newer discoveries.

Flashback to Zim's house.

Dib (vo): First, you know all about how I planted the spy bug in Zim's lab during the whole Tak invasion?

Zim, Dib, and Gaz stand around in Zim's lab.

Dib (vo): Hmmm, yeah. You remember. Ahh. Wasn't that beautiful? Gah... let's go back there for a second.

Dib: Hey! Look at that garbage can!

Zim turns around.

Zim: Hmmm?

''Dib tosses a large device at the wall. The device drills through the wall and is hidden within the circuitry.''

Zim: Yes, it is rather impressive, that can!

The flashback ends.

Dib: I can spy on Zim in his own base!

Dib starts typing on his keyboard.

Dib: Not to mention steal data from his machines!

''Dib's computer screen shows Zim walking through the lab. The screen goes into static and then switches to Tak's ship in the garage. It has a blanket thrown over it.''

Dib: Second — Tak's crashed spaceship! I hid it in the garage. It doesn't fly yet but I've been able to use the onboard computer to decipher Zim's data.

Gaz walks out.

Dib: Good idea, Gaz! Make some popcorn! We'll be up all night deciphering this stuff!

Gaz holds back her rage and then continues walking.

Dib: I wonder where Zim was going.

''Dib's monitor shows a room in Zim's lab with an empty chair. Zim sings a song with 'doo dees doos' from off screen, then leaps into the chair.''

Zim: Computer! Open a communication line with prisoner number seven seventy seven on planet Vort.

Dib: Planet Vort? Time to wake up, my little alien spaceship.

''Dib's monitor shows Tak's ship in the garage. An Irken view screen appears in front of it with the words 'remote link enabled' written on it as well as images of Zim's Voot Runner.''

Dib: We have work to do...

Computer: Remote link enabled.

''The camera zooms out of Dib's room and into the garage. The control panel on Tak's ship flashes. Back at Dib's computer, Irken text is written on the screen. Another monitor shows the text translated into English. Dib reads the text.''

Dib (reading): Planet Vort: Once an ally of the Irken Empire, the Vort supplied Irk with advanced military technology. Recently conquered by Invader Larb, Vort is now Irk's top military research prison.

''Cut to Zim's lab. The lights are off and the view screen shows Vortian Prisoner 777. 777 sighs.''

Prisoner 777: What is it this time, Zim?

Zim: Detailed control schematics for the Massive... and instructions for a remote command chair.

Prisoner 777: The Tallest's command ship!?! That would be wrong! It'd infuriate the Armada! I designed that ship, you know. Here you go.

''777 pulls out a circular device. A slot attached to a robotic arm emerges and 777 sticks the device into it. The data fills the screen. Zim laughs evilly.''

Zim: With this, I can pilot the Massive and bring the Almighty Tallest here to witness my ingenious evil!

''Zim laughs evilly. Cut to Dib watching on his computer.''

Dib: Nooo!

Zim: I said evil!

Cut to Prof. Membrane in his lab.

Prof. Membrane (yelling): Son! There'd better not be any walking dead up there!

Cut back to Dib.

Dib: (yelling) It's nothing to worry about, Dad! And I said I was sorry about that! (to himself) Zim's bringing his leaders to Earth! Gotta act quick!

''Dib leaps out the window. His pointy hair hooks over a cable and Dib slides along it towards the garage. He slides right into the garage and falls to the ground with a groan. Dib twitches and moans. He gets up and enters the garage, which opens for him. Dib pulls off the sheet covering Tak's ship. The windshield opens and Dib hops inside. The control panel lights up. Dib starts to press buttons. Cut to the control deck of the Massive. Red and Purple hold bags full of doughnuts. They shovel doughnuts into their mouths and make a lot of noise while eating. The deck crew stands behind them. A Vortian ship can be seen approaching outside the windshield.''

Purple: Hey... who's ship is that?!

''The Vortian ship stops directly in front of the Massive. The Tallest drop their doughnuts. The deck crew quickly grab them. Cut to the control deck of the Vortian ship. A small green alien vomits all over itself and then falls over. A large three-headed alien sets it upright. An armless insectoid alien with four legs scampers about. An alien with its brain hovering above its body presses buttons on a control panel. Lard Nar, a Vortian and the captain of the ship, sits in a chair connected to the wall by a robotic arm. Next to him, a funnel alien named Shloonktapooxis hovers.''

Lard Nar: Alright, this is it! Our first act of resistance against Operation Impending Doom II!

Shloonktapooxis: Woo! Alright!

Lard Nar: That's the Massive out there! My people designed most of that thing, so I know how powerful it is... WE'RE GONNA DIE! WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?!

Spleenk: Uh... mine. Sorry about that.

All: Awww....

Lard Nar clears his throat.

Lard Nar: Well... If we can just knock a hole in one of the side storage pods, we can steal the snacks that fall out to feed the growing resistance.

Shloonktapooxis: We're gonna die!

''Shloonktapooxis cries and bangs his head against Lard Nar's chair. He rolls around on the floor while mumbling in tears.''

Shoonktapooxis: We're gonna live hell...

Cut back to the Massive control deck.

Purple: That's a Vort ship! I didn't think there were any of those left! Call them and tell them we're gonna blow 'em up! Hah!

''A communications officer presses a button. Cut back to Lard Nar. An image of a happy animal on his arm rest lights up. Lard Nar gasps.''

Lard Nar: They're hailing us! They're hailing us! Oh, quick! We need a name! We can't form a resistance and not have a name!

Shloonktapooxis: How 'bout the pirate monkeys! Issa awesome name.

Lard Nar: Hmmm.... No. We need something scary! Something to strike fear into all who hear of the resistance!

Spleenk pushes through the crowd.

Spleenk: I got it! I got it!

''Cut back to the Massive. The communications officers press buttons. Red holds a boxing hand puppet of himself. He pretends to punch the Vortian ship. Purple holds one of the doughnut bags. They suddenly get a transmission from Lard Nar which covers the windshield view screen. The transition only shows silhouettes and everyone appears to be very tall.''

Red: Identify yourselves.

Lard Nar (with voice synthesizer): We are the Resisty! We have come to strike —

Purple: Woowoowoowoowoo! Did you say the Resisty?

Lard Nar (with voice synthesizer): Yes, yes. The Resisty! Anyhow... we have come —

Purple: That's a stupid name.

''The lights on the Vortian ship turn on, revealing that Lard Nar only looked tall because of his chair and everyone else was holding up card board cut outs on sticks. They drop the cut outs.''

Lard Nar: See, I told you it was stupid! Why do I keep listening to you?!

Spleenk: I don't know...

Red (no longer wearing the puppet): Destroy them!

The deck officers press buttons.

Red: Fire some kinda laser thingy at 'em... right now!

''The laser on the front of the Massive charges up and begins to glow. The Resisty scream. The Tallest laugh and eat doughnuts. The Resisty scream some more, and the small green alien vomits. The Tallest shove their faces with food and laugh. Lard Nar and Shloontapooxis clutch onto each other and scream. The deck crew chuckle to themselves. The Massive suddenly jerks to the side and everyone in it is thrown off balance. The laser blast fires just as the Massive is jerked to the side by an unseen force. The blast misses the Vortian ship. Everyone inside the Massive screams as it starts to spin around and drift away. The people in the control deck are thrown around.''

Purple: What's happening?! Why have we lost control?!

''The camera zooms through the galaxy all the way down into Zim's base where Zim sits in a control seat that resembles the Massive. Zim bounces around in the seat and laughs. The view screen in front of him shows the view of space from the Massive as Zim pilots it towards Earth.''

Zim: I can't wait to see the Tallest's faces when they get here! They'll be so happy!

''The Massive flies into an asteroid and a small planet as it is pulled towards Earth. Both are destroyed on contact and neither slow down the ship. Inside, Purple is thrown against a wall and Red crashes into him. They are still screaming. An Irken officer pulls himself up and peeks over the wall.''

Irken Officer: My Tallest! Our weapons are offline! We're defenseless!

''Red and Purple continue screaming. They get thrown against the main view screen and fall out of view.''

Lard Nar: You hear that? Their weapons are down! After them! Get those snacks!

''A gunning pod on the back of the Vortian ship aims at the Massive and starts shooting blasts at it. Inside the ship, Shloonktapooxis bobs up and down, pressing a button to fire the gun with his tip. Inside the Massive, Purple floats through the air trying to grab doughnuts that are floating around.''

Purple: What are you doing?!

Red clings to a control panel and presses buttons.

Red: I'm running a manual diagnostic to find the problem!

Red points at a random Irken officer who floats by.

Red: You! Save the doughnuts!

''The ship shakes violently again and the Tallest are thrown into the air. They yell. The Massive is pulled in the opposite direction, almost hitting the Vortian ship. Back at Zim's control pod, Zim presses a button repeatedly but doesn't get a response.''

Zim: Hey! I didn't tell the ship to do that!

''A hologram appears next to Zim that says 'new player' and then 'start'. A hologram of Dib sitting in Tak's cockpit appears next to Zim.''

Dib: I told the ship to do that! And in case you're wondering, I'm using your computers to project this hologram of me and to control your leaders' ship.

Zim: Dib! Get out of my computer!

''Zim swings at Dib, his hand going through the hologram. Dib yawns.''

Zim: You'll ruin everything!

''Zim grabs his controls. Inside the Massive, Red and Purple stand on a platform but get thrown off of it. They continue yelling. Zim pulls the ship towards Earth again.''

Dib: Hey, quit it! Let go! It's mine!

''Dib pulls his lever and the Massive veers towards a star. Red and Purple scream as they see the star directly in front of them on the main view screen. All of the deck officers pop up. The Massive flies very close to the sun.''

Purple: It ain't so bad.

Red: I think so too.

''The Massive flies into the sun. The Tallest scream as the Massive flies through it and out the other side. The Vortian ship catches up. Cut to the deck of the Vortian ship.''

Shloonktapooxis: Woo! Anyone think that was cool?! Please respond!

Lard Nar: They're getting away! Let's go!

''Cut to the Massive deck. Red stands at a sparking control panel.''

Red: Hah! Voice interface back online! Computer! Check each system for cause of problem!

''Purple hovers over to Red, babbling in a panic with a mouth stuffed with doughnuts. He holds the doughnut bag and continues shoving doughnuts in his mouth. He flies back and forth across the screen then hovers up towards Red, babbling. Red stares. Cut to Zim's control pod. Zim and Dib both grunt as they try and control the Massive. Zim stops and looks at the Dib hologram.''

Zim: Is that Irken equipment you're using? That's Tak's ship your sitting in, isn't it?

Dib: Yes it is, Zim! It fell from the —

Zim: Isn't it?!

Dib: I said it was! Man, you have a problem with listening, Zim!

Zim: ISN'T IT?!

Computer: Warning! Parasite containment levels are critical!

''A light flashes on the control pod. An alarm blares. Zim grunts.''

Zim: GIR!

Zim hops out of his pod and scampers down the hall, making little grunty noises.

Computer: Warning! There's someone at the door!

Zim groans.

Zim: Let the robo-parents handle it! That's what they're for!

''Cut to the front yard. Meef holds a box of candy and grins. The front door opens and the robo-parents stick their heads out, nodding. Meef's smile fades away. Cut to the parasite tank. The lights on it flash and the alarm still rings. GIR lies on the control panel face-down in mashed potatoes. There are also muffins next to him. GIR blows bubbles in the potatoes but otherwise he is motionless. The door to this room opens.''

Zim: GIR! Get up! What are you doing?!

GIR springs upwards.

GIR: I made mashed potatoes!

Zim approaches.

Zim: Yes... And muffins! Now fix the containment levels! Now, GIR!

''GIR hops off the control panel and over to a control panel in the wall. Zim starts to walk away, but a monitor emerges from the wall.''

Computer: Alert! Something is happening at the front door! Something... horrible!

''The monitor shows the robo-parents in the living room tossing Meef back and forth, who screams. An explosion is heard. Zim screams.''

Zim: GIR! Take the Massive's controls in the other room! I have to go up above.

GIR runs out.

GIR: Yaaaay! I don't know what you just said!

''Zim walks into an elevator tube. A hover platform lifts him up. Cut to the kitchen. Zim peaks out of the trashcan, now wearing his disguise.''

Robomom: Hey! Hey!

''Zim gasps. He hops out and runs to the door, where the roboparents stand, yelling into the street.''

Robomom: Hey! Hey everyone! Hey everyone! Hey!

''Robodad has Meef's head in his mouth. Zim hops out in front of them.''

Robomom: Come on over everyone and help us eat this little boy!

''Robomom makes some noises. A crowd has gathered in front of the house. They murmur to each other.''

Zim: No! No! We're normal! We're normal!

''Robomom clamps her jaw around the other half of Meef's head. Zim does a little dance while singing with 'doo dee doos'. Zim grunts as he pulls Meef from their mouths and hurls him at the crowd. Meef flies into one woman and knocks her over. Zim dives into the house, knocking the roboparents inside. He then closes the door. Zim pants. Robodad gets up.''

Robodad: That's bad manners, son! I guess we haven't taught you well enough! We don't spend enough quality time together!

''Robodad hugs Zim's head. Robodad grunts.''

Robodad: Time to learn you a lesson!

Robodad grabs Zim by the head and lifts him up, then strikes a pose.

Robomom: Awww... Let me get the camera!

''Zim struggles and breaks free. He runs and they chase after him. Zim dives into the trashcan and they smash into it. Zim grunts as he hits the hover platform. It lowers him into the lab. The roboparents crawl down into the elevator tube and crawl towards him. They continue talking.''

Robodad: Pay attention to the maid!

''Zim enters the Massive control room, pulling off his contacts as he enters. GIR hollers as he controls the Massive.''

Dib: Hey! Quit it! You're messing me up!

''The view screen shows a bad graphics image of the Massive as it bangs against some walls. It looks like an old game.''

Dib: It's my ship! Would you leave it alone?! Come on! It's my turn! It's stuck! You've been doing it wrong! Come on, let me try! Come on, give it to me! Please! You've had plenty of time! It's my turn! You're up!

Zim grabs GIR.

Zim: Okay, GIR! This is very important! Go back to the containment room and keep the levels right! Do you hear me?! This is your greatest moment ever! Now go!

''Zim leaps into the control pod. GIR grunts and runs in place as if he is charging up. He goes into duty mode. He starts to run out the room screaming, but falls asleep on the floor before he makes it. He lies on the ground, sucking his thumb, in regular mode.''

Dib: Tak's ship must be really powerful if it's more than a match for your entire base! You're losing, Zim!

Zim: Never! Check this out!

''Zim presses a button. The Massive turns completely around, leaving a trail behind it like an old game. Dib starts pressing buttons, trying to regain control. Zim and Dib continue grunting and the Massive continues to get thrown around. The Tallest continue to scream. Inside the Vortian ship, Lard Nar watches as the Massive spins around. Cut back to the Zim's control pod.''

Zim: You're nothing, Earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!

Dib: Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

''Dib grunts as he pulls a lever. The Massive crashes into a large asteroid in an asteroid field. Zim grunts and pulls a lever, sending the Massive crashing into another asteroid. They go back and forth, each of them sending the Massive into different asteroids. Suddenly, the door breaks open and the robodad sticks his head through.''

Robodad: Come on, son! Let's go play in the toilet!

Zim: Huh?

''Zim screams and leaps at the door. He grunts as he tries to shove their heads back through the door.''

Zim: Computer! Lay down a force field!

The roboparent get the door fully open and begin to enter when a bunch of beams appear in front of them, blocking their way.

Computer: Shield in place! PS — I have located an alien monitoring device within the base!

Zim: Monitoring device? Hah! I found your spy bug, Dib! Computer! Lock onto Dib's transmission signal and transmit a little signal of our own!

Dib: What are you doing, Zim?

Zim: That's Irken technology you're sitting in, Dib! I'm just reminding it is all.

''Dib pulls on the lever. Outside, electricity shoots out of the satellite dish on Zim's roof. It shoots all the way to Tak's ship.''

Tak's ship: Security defense systems activated!

''Dib is shocked. He falls slump for a second. The control panel flashes.''

Tak's ship: Intruder detected. Get your filthy alien meat out of the cockpit!

Dib: What the —? Tak?!

Tak's ship: Almost! I'm Tak's downloaded personality interface and it seems you've stolen me!

''Dib yells as he is tosses out of the ship. The cockpit retracts into the ship.''

Dib: No! The Massive's almost here!

Dib tries to grab the cockpit.

Dib: You gotta let me in!

''A hologram of Zim appears in the cockpit, laughing. Tak's ship unfolds, letting the side pods become claws.''

Zim: It's over, Dib! Don don don!

''Tak's ship slashes its claw. Dib rolls out of the way. Out in space, the Massive is dragged along close to Earth with the Vortian ship right behind, blasting at it. It spells out 'Resisty rocks!' on the Massive with its lasers. The Massive is very banged up at this point. Irkens are still tossed around inside. Red stands at a control panel.''

Red: I think I've located the source of the problem!

An officer falls on the control panel.

Red: A signal coming from planet...

Red pushes the officer out of the way, revealing Earth on the control panel.

Red: ...Earth, locked on to...

The control panel shows a beam connecting a spot on Earth and the Massive.

Red: ...our power core! Zim...

Purple pops his head in the way, eating doughnuts.

Purple: Are we gonna blow him up?

Red pushes him out of the way.

Red: Yes... But first thing's first. We've gotta ditch our power core! Beam the power core into the Resisty's ship! It'll be their problem!

Cut to the deck of the Vortian ship.

Shloonktapooxis: We have a problem, sir! There's good news... and bad.

Lard Nar: A problem!?! How!?! They're sitting ducks! Aside from all the insane flying around.

''The Massive stops spinning as its power core is beamed out. The Vortian ship starts spinning and falling towards Earth after the power core is beamed into it. The Resisty get knocked over. Lard Nar grunts and gets up.''

Lard Nar: Was that part of the bad news?

Shloonktapooxis: Yeah... Our power core has been teleported out of the ship!

Lard Nar: And the good news!?!

Shloonktapooxis: Well, it's been replaced by a new horrible one!

''Lard Nar's antennae twitch. Spleenk looks at a view screen that shows Earth as they get pulled towards it.''

Spleenk: We're being pulled towards a nearby planet! We're gonna crash and it's gonna hurt and I don't want to!

''Spleenk pulls his eye lids and falls to the ground spasming extremely fast while yelling. Lard Nar makes a loud high-pitched scream.''

Lard Nar: Heh, uh, I mean, evacuate the ship!

The Resisty scream.

Lard Nar: Activate the shrinky self-destruct! No alien thieves are gonna steal the secrets of this ship!

An alien at a control panel presses a button and the shrinky self-destruct is activated.

Computer: Shrinky self destruct activated!

Lard Nar: Hear me, Irken scum! You have not seen the last... of the Resisty!

''Lard Nar shakes his fist in the air. An explosion sends some of the members of the Resisty flying and screaming.''

Lard Nar: That's right, that's still our name.

''Some panels on the ship open and a bunch of escape pods jettison. They fly away past the Massive. Red and Purple watch, laughing and shoving doughnuts into their mouths. Cut back to Dib in the garage. He is on a high shelf with a rake and is hiding from Tak's ship. He pokes at it with a rake.''

Zim: Hah! Watch, Dib! Watch as I bring a royal audience to the downfall of the human race!

Dib: I don't wanna watch that!

Zim: Oh, okay. Wait! that's too bad! because mankind ends now! And to make it even sweeter, I'll land the Massive right on top of your —

Tak's ship swipes the rake out of Dib's hands.

Zim: — landing pad-sized monster of a head which is disturbingly large!

''Dib leaps over Tak's ship as it swipes at him. He runs out of the garage.''

Dib: Nooo! Quit making fun of my head!

''Dib screams. Zim laughs. Tak's ship drags itself along with its claw. The garage door shuts on it. Dib stops in the street, panting. The Vortian ship breaks through the clouds.''

Dib: Nooo!

''He babbles as it approaches. As it comes close, it shrinks to a small size. It becomes smaller and smaller until it disappears with a 'poof.' Dib stands there. He scratches his butt. Zim watches from the control pod as an Irken symbol representing the ship disappears from the radar.''

Zim: What?! Where did it go?! How?!

Zim bounces around in the control pod.

Zim: Nooo! My Tallest! Tallest!

''Zim stops bouncing around, then looks to his side. The Dib hologram is there, laughing. It fades away, but the laughing continues.''

Zim: Laugh now, Dib! Laugh while you still have a brain to laugh with, because —

Computer: Emergency in parasite containment!

Zim: Eh?

''The alarm blares. Zim screams. The glass to the parasite tank cracks. Zim bursts out of the room, pushing away the roboparents. He runs down the hall, panting. Cut to the Massive. A large device clings to the entire ship and works at rubbing off the words 'Resisty rocks!' The Armada begins to regroup near the Massive. Inside, the Tallest watch the view screens, which show static. A beeping is heard.''

Communications officer: Long distance communication back online!

Red: Now, let's give our friend Zim a call!

Purple: Yeah... I'm gonna make him hurt...

''The static changes to an image of the Irken corporate logo. It changes to a view from Zim's lab. Zim runs around with the brain parasite on his head. GIR eats mashed potatoes. Robomom takes pictures of robodad holding Meef.''

Zim: My brain! My brain! Me hurting to think!

Zim makes gurgling noises.

Purple: I'm going to throw up!

Purple hovers off with his hands over his mouth, making barfing sounds.

Red: No! Not on the doughnuts!