The Broath


 * [Ted and Robin clash over the apartment Quinn is subletting, and Robin lays out the real reason why she wants it so bad]
 * Robin: Hasn't it ever occurred to you that the last few weeks haven't been easy for me either? In the span of one day, my engagement fell apart, I lost my best friend, then I lost my apartment, and now, I'm about to lose my job.
 * Ted: What do you mean?
 * Robin: I've been completely distracted at work, and now my boss wants to see me Friday at five o'clock, which in the office is known as "Fire o'clock."
 * Ted: I had no idea.
 * Robin: How could you? The one person I want to talk to most barely looks me in the eye anymore, much less returns my calls. Ted, I know it took guts to tell me you love me and I know how much it hurt that I didn't say it back, but ... damn it, this sucks for me too. I miss you. Is there any way we could just ... go back to normal?
 * Ted: I don't think I can do normal anymore.


 * Barney: And now to seal this sacred vow, the two ladies will kiss.
 * Robin: Barney!
 * Barney: The two ladies will kiss!
 * [Robin and Lily kiss and Robin tries to pull away, but Lily keeps kissing her]
 * Robin: Uh, Lily.
 * Lily: Sorry.
 * Barney: And now the gentlemen...
 * Ted: DUDE!
 * Barney: And now the gentlemen! [Marshall and Ted kiss] I was going to say "And now the gentlemen bump fists." How long you been holding back that one?